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eureka-its-zico · 8 months

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Chaos in Their Bones Ch. 6

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, frenemies to lovers, slow burn (I hope y’all like aching) eventual smut

Words: 16.7+

A/N: I swear I don’t start writing chapters with the intention of making them like this. The next chapter is probably going to be smaller because I get so much anxiety giving you guys these big beefy chapters. This chapter is HEFTY and full of angst. There are more one-on-one interactions with the crew members to start bringing everything together. I'm not going to lie, I struggled a lot writing this week because I started to think my writing was trash. I know it’s not necessarily true but ya. I prevailed enough to bring you this. As always, thank you, guys, for all the love and support. For always being so kind and loving my story as much as you do. I hope you all continue to enjoy this story🖤 Much Love, Jenn

P.s. This chapter is sponsored by not really Halsey’s - Ya’aburnee

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The background noise that rose and fell in octaves around you told you that they were all still talking; still arguing. Usopp disappeared to find Luffy who you could only guess was inside that damn kitchen. Nami continued to try and talk sense into Zoro who ignored every word she said by lazily running his swords over the wet stone he’d placed on the galley’s island.

“Are you even listening to me?”

Nami was struggling to keep her voice calm but she was losing. She’d looked over at you more than a few times since you’d all evacuated to the ship to help her, but what could you magically say to make Zoro change his mind? He didn’t seem like a man who responded to pleading or demands.

He strongly held on to his beliefs. They were a system that guided him; molded him into the pain in the ass he was now. While you watched him continue to tune Nami out it was easy to see the dedication he’d given over the years to become who he was even at a young age.

Behind all that arrogance was a determination that sliced just as sharp as his blade. Zoro knew who he was and what he needed to do to succeed, and that was more than you could say for yourself at times.

So…who were you to get in the way of his dream?

The answer to that was as startling as a slap to the face. You were the woman who’d fallen hopelessly in love with him, and he hadn’t even realized it yet.

While you wanted to remain steadfast and devoted to the belief that Zoro had a chance and that the probability of him defeating Mihawk was high, the realistic part of you sounded like Naan.

“Get those foolish thoughts out of your head, girl.”

For once, you wanted to swat away all of her cynicism. All of her realism forced you to fight to still believe in magic and the good in the world around you outside of science and facts. You wanted to believe that Zoro knew what he was doing and that he was strong enough to beat a grown man almost half his age.

The other part of you, however, howled on the inside for you to stand up and go to him. To take his face in your hands and demand that he look at you and not turn away. Zoro didn’t respond to pleading, but it didn’t keep your own cries from weighing heavy on your tongue.

Don’t do this. Stay with me. Make a new dream - with me.

All your life Usopp and you imagined what it would be like to get off the island. To put Syrup Village behind you, all the pain and unknowns that never received answers. You could both leave on your own adventures and replace all the painful memories with ones aboard ships and the open seas of possibilities.

You never imagined you’d meet people like Luffy or Nami. Like him.

Looking at Zoro now as he dragged his sword over the stone one last time you felt your heart sink. Zoro had placed all three swords neatly on the table and took his time giving them adequate deadly attention. He didn’t seem bothered that you and Nami were in the room and sheltered out anything she tried to tell him.

Nami was begging in her own way. What could you possibly say that would change his mind? She was looking at you now, as your arms wrapped so tightly around yourself - constricting the breath from your lungs making it impossible to formulate words. You were holding on so tight because you knew if you let go, you might run to him.

“Doc-“ the sound of her calling you jolted you out of your thoughts and back into the present. Back to where you didn’t want to be. Nami was flying her eyes like a whip from you and back to Zoro as if you needed help knowing where to direct your pleas. “Is there anything you want to add here?”

Fuck

Zoro looked up. He actually looked up from what he was doing to look at you. Shit. Did he want you to say something? Or did he just want to know if you were going to be another obstacle in his way?

“I-“ I don’t know what to say.

What did she expect you to say? Everything you wanted to say wasn’t meant to blurt out in front of her or anyone else. You were still trying to process that you were admitting to yourself that all the feelings you felt weren’t just indigestion. That it wasn’t just the liquor from the fishbowl that made you wish you’d laced your fingers in that moss-green hair and kissed him.

Luckily for you, Usopp came running back into the galley which told you all that Luffy was right behind him.

“Oh great you’re here. Maybe you can convince him to call it off.”

Zoro had gone back to examining one of his swords and making sure it was ready for the morning. He looked so deep into the edge of the katana you wanted to ask him if it was like a magic mirror and what did he see? Did he see a victory inside that blade as he polished it? Or did he see something much darker?

“I won’t do that.”

“Did you not see the size of that guy’s sword? He will slice you into sashimi.”

“What’s going on?”

“I have been trying to figure that out for the last thirty minutes,” you huffed.

Your words only earned you an exasperated look from Nami.

“You were there when it happened!” She shot back, her voice incredulous.

“And I am still struggling to comprehend how we went from zero to a thousand in less than a minute.”

You hated this entire thing. The tension radiated like a volt of electricity between all of you. One minute, you felt fine, or as fine as you could be in this situation. The next, the anxiety from Usopp or Nami would set you off or you would completely close down like the indifference Zoro was currently showing all of you.

“I’m even more lost now,” Luffy muttered.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on. Your big, bad Marine grandpa sent a warlord of the Sea to bring you in, and instead of getting the hell out of here when he had the chance, Zoro challenged him to a duel.”

“Which he accepted.”

“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up,” Usopp muttered to Luffy.

Usopp looked as nervous as you felt. Your body finally removed itself from the booth in the galley to stand beside him, linking yourselves arm and arm.

While Nami spoke, Zoro sheathed his sword and placed it back on the island. His arms extended out as he leaned his hands against it, his eyes boring a hole into Nami as she spoke.

“You are a fly to him. Something to be swatted and forgotten.”

“Not if I win.”

“You’re not going to.”

“You don’t know that.”

Your hand fell down to grab at Usopp’s and squeezed it lightly. Big brown eyes turned to look at you and, whatever he saw reflected in yours, was enough to make him squeeze yours back.

You knew Nami was trying to make a point. This dude was dangerous. He was a pirate warlord, for Christ's sake, but the idea of Zoro no longer existed…

No. No. You wouldn’t think it. Couldn’t.

“Guys, guys, maybe we need more drinks,” Usopp offered.

A part of you wanted to laugh. You could feel it bubbling up inside your chest but the wildness of it let you know it would come out panicked; a sound that displayed the current breakdown of your soul.

No one else seemed to appreciate his attempt at lightening the mood.

“Tell your first mate he’ll get himself killed.”

“Tell your navigator to butt out.”

For once, Luffy looked lost. A look of childish uncertainty replaced the care-free nature that lived inside him. You hated seeing him so unsure, but he was the captain. He was your captain and these situations called for him to make the best decision for his crew.

“Maybe this isn’t such a great idea, Zoro.”

“When you met me tied up on that cross, what did I say?”

Oh, no. No. You knew where he was going with this. Luffy telling you the story in this very galley came flooding back in crystal clear clarity.

“What makes you think I wanna play pirates with you?”

“No, the other thing.”

“I kill your kind for a living?”

“No!” Zoro almost shouted the word. “Come…” A groan of frustration left him as he finally looked away from Luffy. The desire to get Luffy to remember consuming him - to remember why he needed to do this.

And like a switch being flicked, a quiet, “Oh,” sounded beside you, and you knew Luffy remembered.

“That you made a promise to someone a long time ago to become the world’s greatest swordsman.”

“The only way to do that is to beat Mihawk in a duel and take his title. I intend to do just that.”

The words left him in a shout. All that determination rolled into a punch of syllables directed at Nami. At you. Anyone who tried to stand in the way of fulfilling that promise he’d made so long ago.

“Can’t you just fight him without anyone dying?”

Your voice was sheepish, so small it barely carried over a whisper. Zoro wouldn’t look at you. You’d only earned a small flick of his attention before he replaced it back on the galley’s island.

“To be the world’s greatest swordsman only one can live. There can’t be two-“

“Why not that just seems silly-“

“Because that is just how it is!”

He’d dismissed you without a second thought. A teacher schooling an ignorant child who wasn’t privy to how the world works. You wanted to throttle him.

“Even if you die in the process? Will you please do something?”

It hurt to see Nami so frantic. You were used to seeing her composed and smart. Maybe her anger when someone was doing something particularly idiotic. Never broken. Not like this.

Luffy regarded Zoro one last time and when you saw the soft smile press a hard line into his lips, you knew any chance of getting him to change Zoro’s mind was gone.

“It’s his dream, Nami. I can’t get in the way of somebody’s dream.”

“What if I dreamed of being eaten by a sea beast what the-“

Usopp gently tugged on your conjoined hands to get your attention. His head shaking once to tell you now wasn’t the time to make jokes or be angry. Wasn’t it?

“What’s it going to take, huh? You want me to say you’re the best? You’re the best. Okay? You’re the best I’ve ever seen, but you are not better than him. And if you fight him tomorrow, you’re going to lose.”

Every word she spoke threatened to make your knees collapse. You didn’t know anything about Dracule Mihawk, except his apparent love for overly large things. Big sword. Big hat. Big feather for said hat. There was no denying, however, the sheer power that radiated off him as he stood there unmoving while Zoro challenged him. The fact there hadn’t even been a glimmer of worry that shifted through his eyes told you plainly he was more powerful than you could imagine.

And Zoro wanted to fight him. To the death. That manic laughter was beginning to bubble up again in your chest and you weren’t sure if you were going to be able to keep it quiet this time.

Zoro finished sliding his last sword home inside his sash as he asked, “Why do you even give a shit?”

“Because you are my friend, you idiot.”

“You said it yourself. You don’t have any friends.”

If this was something Nami ever spoke of, it wasn’t something she’d shared with you. Maybe it had been true before you’d all met each other, but that wasn’t true now. In that moment, it didn’t matter if she remembered you were all there or not. His words hit a scab deep inside her and pulled and picked until he ripped it open.

Fresh blood from an old wound.

This time you weren’t worried about accidentally saying anything. Warm fuzzy feelings were thrown to the back of your mind as your own blood thundered for you to come forward and defend her.

“And you are acting like a Grade A asshole.”

You released Usopp’s hand to take a step forward. You had every intention of going to her and seeing if she would allow you to stand beside her. You never got the chance. Nami’s eyes looked at each and every one of you- her supposed crew mates - just before she turned on her heel and left the room.

Once she disappeared from sight it left only the four of you inside the galley. Luffy looked as if he was trying to process just what took place and Usopp, well, he was Usopp. He looked about as lost as you were in the grand scheme of things.

Your eyes flashed to Zoro and found him already looking at you. His wrists hung loosely over the hilt of the sword as he regarded you. He didn’t soften as your eyes met his but seemed to harden further. A silent challenge for you to try and say something that he would only dismiss.

“What was that?”

“I told her the truth.”

“No,” you snarled. “You told her whatever was most convenient for you and your feelings. You want to go get yourself killed, Zoro. Fine. But don’t stand there and act like everyone is supposed to be happy about it.”

“No one told you that you had to be here or that you were even wanted here.”

“Guys-“ Usopp interjected.

Neither of you were listening. You could feel your eyes narrow in on him. The pain that had moments ago made it impossible to breathe now hardened into stone.

“You better hope Mihawk kills you, Zoro because if not I’ll make you wish he had.”

A part of you meant what you said. Your anger was a living thing at how Zoro used his words as an extension of his swords. Your skin felt like brimstone with the current of fire underneath ready to burst free and set him on fire with how fucking angry you were at him. The way he spoke to Nami. To you. And yet, underneath all that building rage was a fear so palpable you could taste the cold sweat on your tongue.

You didn’t want to hurt him. You didn’t wish him dead. You just wanted him to admit that his ghosts screaming for battle also scared him too. Instead, you were locked in a staring contest you knew you would lose. Zoro’s eyes hardened until he was a mask; unreadable and untouchable. While you knew at any minute your regret was moments away from making itself known.

With one final look in his direction, you turned to storm after Nami. You needed to find her and make sure she was okay. She did have friends. She wasn’t alone like she apparently thought she was.

You rounded the corner of the galley that led to Nami’s room. Usually, you would’ve knocked or done something to announce yourself. Naan raised you to be aware of everyone’s space and it was rude just to barge in but you weren’t thinking. You were brimming with too many emotions; too many thoughts that fought to be the clearest. So, when you barged into Nami’s room an apology was already forming on your lips.

Until you saw her standing with a bag in hand.

“Where are you going?”

The question hung between you like something fragile. Her own throat noticeably bobbed as she swallowed around something she was going to try and sell you.

“I was just going out-“

“Don’t lie, Nami.” You moved the rest of the way inside her room and closed the door behind you. “No one carries around an entire suitcase just because.”

Her tongue rolled around the bottom of her lip before she turned away from you. You took note that she was still holding onto her suitcase. She wasn’t going to drop it, which meant however this went she planned on still leaving.

You didn’t want another Zoro-style fight where insults were thrown to prove points or make someone hate you into letting them go. When she turned back to look at you, all the emotion was stripped from her and you prepared yourself for a fight.

“Are you going to tell Luffy?”

A sigh pressed past your lips as you shrugged.

“What am I going to tell him, Nami? You left because you got into an argument and someone said something you didn’t like?”

“Like I give a shit what Zoro or any of you think.”

“Is that why you’re worried I’m going to run and tell Luffy you’re leaving? Make it make sense.”

She turned on her heel and walked back over to a drawer she’d left slightly open. Her hand pushed it back hard before she turned back to face you. The hand that held her suitcase dropped unceremoniously on the floor.

“I need to leave.”

“Why? Nami, If this is about what Zoro said you know it’s not true.”

“Who are you kidding, Doc? We never chose to be a crew. We were all thrust together by circumstances and just stayed together.”

“Usopp and I chose you guys.”

Hollow laughter escaped her like she couldn’t believe you’d claim this madhouse of a crew. Or maybe the joke was on you, and you just couldn’t see you were the butt of the joke.

“You don’t get it-“

“Help me understand!”

“I had a job to do before I met Luffy. I completed it and I need to get back.”

“If that was true you would’ve left a long time ago.”

“Ugh, what is it with you? Why can’t you just accept that I’m leaving?”

“Because I don’t think you really want to go back,” you replied, cutting her off.

The two of you stood there in a silent face-off. Deep down, you both knew that you were right. There were plenty of opportunities for her to leave and go back to whatever life she had waiting for her, but she’d stayed. Maybe it was because of convenience, at first, but somewhere along the line, it changed.

Nami was happy being a straw hat. Whatever life she had previously was one she’d continue to run away from if she could, but something was calling her back. Whether it was family. Friends. Work. You would never know unless she told you.

“What makes you so sure?”

“People who want to sneak away in the night don’t stay up showing a small town village girl maps they created in hopes of drawing a map of the world one day.”

It was only a few nights ago when she had done it. You’d been unable to sleep. Your stomach was tossing like the waves outside the ship. You’d tried to make a tea to ease your stomach and it had failed miserably. Nami had found you curled up becoming one with the galley’s kitchen and gently peeled you from the table. In the very corner she stood in is where she’d sat with you under the light of a lamp and showed you every map she’d ever drawn.

“That’s just a dream, Doc.”

“It’s a good dream.”

She shook her head, her hand outstretched to take back the suitcase she'd discarded.

“Dreams are just fairy tales for adults. It’s better if you get used to disappointment now than later.”

You wanted to reach out and grab her as she moved past you towards the door. You still had time to do it. To shake her - yell at her - that they didn’t hold the commodity on pain or a shitty life. Maybe you would never know what it was that Nami lost. She may never want to share with you that story of her life, and that was fine. You just wanted her to know she didn’t have to keep running. That you would help keep her dreams alive and safe as long as she wanted them.

When you turned to follow her you found the door wide open and Nami gone. You could’ve chased after her, but it would only cause a scene. She’d made it clear she’d meant to run in secret - you finding out was an unexpected accident. A part of you wanted to tell Luffy so you could both go charging after her and make her come back, but Luffy would never make anyone do something they didn’t want to do.

How could it be in less than a day everything had gone to shit? Zoro was so eager to die and Nami…Nami was just gone. With one last look around her room, you moved to sit in the chair she’d been in earlier. The sound of her laughing as you tried on clothes brought the ghost of a smile to your lips and you wondered if you’d ever get to hear it again.

The Going Merry felt like a ghost ship.

Somewhere in the bridge, you were aware Usopp had run to hide there as the after-hours of fun began to take its toll. Luffy disappeared outside the ship and you wondered if anyone had noticed yet that the ship was one straw hat less.

You’d been sitting inside Nami’s room since she left, unable to leave just in case she’d changed her mind and came back. You wondered how long you could wait here before reality forced you to face it that the small family you’d chosen was falling apart.

Not much longer if the rising hues of the sun’s blood-orange tint on the night sky had anything to say about it.

With one last glance around the room, you headed back out onto the bridge. You didn’t know where to go. You didn’t feel like playing nursemaid, though you were sure Usopp would’ve appreciated the help, and you didn’t think you could keep quiet about a missing orange-haired girl if Luffy asked where she was.

You were starting to feel your own hangover begin to creep in and one thing was for certain, you were going to need some coffee.

Your footsteps sounded loud against the wood. The sound only reminds you of how empty the Merry had become. You pushed through the galley’s French doors and found yourself walking into a Zoro deep in meditation. It was something he usually did in the confines of his room sandwiched between his crates of rum and the small window that looked port side. You’d only ever seen him do it once on the stern of the ship in the early morning when no one was around.

Not that you were staring or watching or anything.

All three of his swords were set on the hanging baby blue table in front of the window seat where he now sat. His bandana was secured to his head about as tightly as his arms were to his chest. His eyes were still closed and you thought, maybe you’d be lucky enough to turn around and run back to the bridge. You’d take your chances with Luffy.

“If you’ve come to talk me out of the duel I’ll tell you right now. You’ll just be wasting your time.”

He growled out the words from somewhere deep in his chest. It croaked in places as if he’d been asleep and your presence had woken him. Zoro hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but he didn’t need to see to know you were there.

You’d come stomping in like a person ready to perform a verbal battle when all you wanted was some coffee and a little bit of calm before…

“I came for coffee not to tell you how much of an inconsiderate asshole you’re being.”

That got his eyes to open and focus on you. You only spared him a moment before you made your way to the cupboards. You were just going to focus on getting a cup and what you needed to make your coffee. You weren’t going to acknowledge him.

Even as you reached the cabinets and started searching for the kettle, you could feel his eyes boring between your shoulders. It forced an irritation to set fire in your chest and that only seemed to grow worse until your hands were squeezing the iron of the handles. At any moment, you expected to see blood dripping from your palms.

You let out a deep breath and tried to push away all the things you wanted to say. To scream at him. You found the kettle and focused on filling it up and turning on the stove because if you didn’t you would start yelling at him about how maddening he was. It was a good thing you had to look for the coffee grounds to steep them or else you would’ve burst with how petty he was; the bitchest man alive.

If it wasn’t for making your damn coffee you would’ve crumbled into a sobbing mess as you struggled to find the words to make him stay. You were doing a pretty good job at ignoring him, but of course, Zoro could never just leave it alone. He always had to poke and prod and-

“You seem to be struggling with that coffee.”

“And why does it matter to you? Are you suddenly in the mood to be caffeinated?”

“Just wondering how long it’s going to take for you to finish and get the hell out of the galley.”

“Okay, that’s enough! Enough, Zoro!”

You hated how your voice betrayed you. The way it broke as his name left your lips. What you hated more was how he responded to the exact sound as it touched his ears. His body language was still rigid but he sat up straighter. His arms dropped down from his body to sit in his lap.

“I get that this means something important to you. It’s a lifelong goal and you want to accomplish it, but how can you expect to accomplish anything when you push people away.”

“I’ve accomplished plenty on my own before I ever meet any of you.”

“That’s fantastic. Great for you,” you shot back, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “What I’m saying is, you don’t have to do everything alone anymore. We are all here for you-“

“Why do you even care? What was it you said, that I better hope Mihawk kills me or I’m going to wish he had.”

You knew saying that would come back to haunt you. How many times had Naan told you speaking out of anger never made a situation better? Zoro thought you’d said it because you hated him to the point you hoped he’d lose.

“I only said that because you are being an ass.”

“I didn’t know you hated me enough to hope I died.”

“I don’t hate you, Zoro! And the last thing I want is to see you get hurt or worse fucking die. Why can’t you see what it would do to the people who care about you? Why can’t you see that I like you, you idiot!”

The words stumbled out before you could catch them. Your chest felt like it was on the verge of collapsing while your lungs refused to release the breath it held captive. It felt like a lifetime passed between the two of you, and yet you knew it was only seconds. It was long enough for the sting of tears to crown your eyes as you waited for Zoro to do something. Anything.

What made it worse was how unmoved he appeared by your confession. Your words didn’t seem to cause any reaction from him other than his usual empty stare. The cool look of emotionless stone replaced the teasing sparks of mischief that gleamed in his eyes or the smiles that warmed his face when he was surrounded by his crew.

You would’ve given anything for any emotion besides the empty reply you received.

“You don’t even know me.”

“I want to know you, really know you, but first, I need the chance to do that. I can’t do that if you’re dead.”

“I’m not going to lose.”

“You don’t know that!”

“It’s obvious that you don’t believe in me. Like Nami. You both think I can’t do it.”

“Oh my god, Zoro - enough! We are just worried for you. We give a shit about you still being alive. I want to be able to wake up and hear your grumpy ass voice or find you drinking on the stern. I want to be able to have conversations with you while you begrudgingly go with me to forge ingredients and put flowers in my hair. I want to see you look at me the way you did standing alone on the Merry like you did tonight.” You took in a shaky breath as you took a cautious step toward his seated position. “You have infuriatingly crawled your way inside my bones, Roronoa Zoro, and have taken hold. I don’t want to know what life is like without you.”

Your breathing was fast and shaky as if you'd been running. It didn’t matter that the tears you’d struggled to contain fell freely down your cheeks or that your chest heaved, ready to cave in at any moment.

You were vaguely aware of the Sun beginning to peak its way inside the windows. The timer on what could possibly be the last time you were with Zoro coming to an end. Maybe that was why when he moved to stand you allowed yourself to hope. You let yourself believe maybe your admission meant enough to make him stay, but you watched as he silently slid each katana into their holsters on his sash and it felt like the ground opened up and swallowed you whole.

“Why can’t you just admit you have feelings for me?”

It was true that you didn’t know much about the world or how it works. You’d never been out of the village. Never had many friends outside of Usopp. The boys in the village are always ridiculous or sometimes cruel or just too stupid to look at. You imagined you had to be broken since all you’d cared about was becoming the greatest doctor you could be. So, maybe you’d read into the small glances too much or the way when you almost fell and he’d secured you close to him with his chin dipping into your neck. It was subtle but you felt it.

People didn’t just do that when they didn’t like someone, did they?

Once he’d made sure everything was secured inside his sash, Zoro came around the table and walked until he stood beside you. He wouldn’t look at you and just kept looking at the battle ahead because now the sun had risen and he had a promise to fulfill.

“I don’t give a shit about you.” His words stabbed into your chest and twisted. It felt worse than anything you’d ever felt; a storm cloud of emotions that darkened your mind. But underneath that, you could hear the tremor in his own voice as he forced himself to tell you. “You’re just another one of Luffy’s little add-ons to an already big enough freak show of a crew.”

“Why are you so scared to give a shit?”

“Scared of what?” This time when he snapped it whipped his head to look at you. The soft touch of his eyes hardened into something wild and desperate. “Of you?”

“Either you’re scared or you are a coward. Only someone who’s a coward can’t admit to the truth.”

“Or maybe you’re just delusional.”

Maybe you were. You didn’t know how the world worked. How people worked. You’d traveled into uncharted territory when Zoro began to worm his way inside your brain and hold your heart hostage. It was possible you’d only seen what you’d hoped to see.

His jaw ticked to whatever irritated thought he had while he looked at you. You expected him to say something else. To finally tear you completely down until there was nothing left. Instead, he turned away from you and started towards the galley’s French doors dismissing you completely.

You listened as he pushed through with the soft sound of the doors swinging on their hinges filling the space. You weren’t going to follow. You couldn’t watch him walk out knowing he may never come back.

It felt like an eternity passed before you heard the first clash of blades outside the Merry. You were still standing where Zoro had left you. Unable to move, at first, in case you take that move forward and restart time. As if you had the ability to keep it suspended and him safe.

It wasn’t until that ringing of metal scraping against metal resonated inside the wood of the Merry that your body jerked back into the present. You already knew Luffy would be there with Zoro; believing in him and cheering him on. Usopp too simply because he knew the power of what support could do for someone.

And Nami…

Nami had to be long gone by now and you? You were here cowering inside the safety of a vessel so you didn’t have to see. The sound of a body colliding into the dock gave yours a jolt.

Sure, Zoro had ripped out your heart after you’d admitted what you hadn’t been able to admit to yourself. You’d done it, selfishly, in hopes that it would keep him in the confines of the safety of the ship, but that wasn’t Zoro.

He wasn’t about safety and backing down from anything. From the moment you’d met him, you’d seen the dedication he held when it came to his ability to fight. The fire drove him to consume and lay waste to those who stood in his way, but underneath the harshness of the fire laid something soft. He’d defended that little girl in the bar. He stood up for those who preyed on villages and mercilessly attacked women and children.

For all the drinking and hard-headed idiotic things Zoro could do he was one of the best men you’d ever meet. There wasn’t anything that Zoro hadn’t proved he could do. So, why couldn’t it be possible for him to beat Mihawk?

With your mind decided, you pushed your back off the island counter and took off running at full speed. You would support him no matter what was shared between you. Zoro deserved it: he deserved to be believed in.

You were going up and over the stairs to take the ramp down to the dock when you saw Mihawk stab something small into his chest. You could feel your knees buckle. The way your body went limp and forced your legs to collapse in on themselves as they smashed into the wood of the ramp.

Zoro’s arms were spread out in Y shape. The edges of his swords barely missed the arm’s of Mihawk, the handles of his swords touching the design on his trench. He was close, but not close enough to do any damage and not far enough away from the small blade that Mihawk embedded deep in his chest.

“No.”

Your denial came out in a hush and was carried away by the wind.

Mihawk told him something. Maybe about retreating and forfeiting the match to save his life. It was enough to radiate rage through Zoro’s body and hardened his eyes with determination.

Zoro would never run. It wasn’t in his character.

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Nami approach the dock. She came to stand between Luffy and Usopp and for a split moment, everything felt like it was going to be okay. Nami was back. The universe was working on fixing all the wrongs that happened in the last few hours.

Mihawk pulled the small blade from out of his chest and you watched as Zoro stumbled back. His swords helped him to stand back up on his feet to face him.

“I’ll do you the honor of killing you with Yoru.”

No. No.

The word almost clawed its way out of your throat. A possession so deep to halt time ached through your veins until you thought it was almost possible to do it. As if the very fabric of the air would rip open at any minute just to save him.

You couldn’t miss the satisfied smirk that curled Zoro’s lips.

“Now that’s more like it.”

You watched as he unsheathed the Wado Ichimonji and brought it up to his mouth. His body stood straighter as he connected the two swords as one and began to spin them. You’d seen him fight plenty of times with just the two swords. The sheer strength he had just using them didn’t seem to compare to anyone else. You’d seen him use his three-sword style only once before and nothing compared to the sheer strength and speed that came from him placing that blade between his teeth.

Hope blossomed in your chest as you watched him spin the swords. His body took off moments later as Mihawk moved to rush forward, meeting him in a clash that rattled like thunder from the impact. Zoro came to a sliding stop just feet in front of you. His swords still lifted up to deflect the blow from Mihawk’s blade before they crumbled to pieces in front of him.

Zoro locked eyes with you, your body mimicking his, as he removed the Wado Ichimonji from between his teeth. You could feel fresh tears streaming down your cheeks turning your vision blurry. With his eyes locked on you, he used it to help him get to his feet.

If your voice would’ve worked you would’ve told him to stop. That he didn’t need to turn around but you knew he would. This was Zoro. The most infuriating man on the planet and honored bound to his beliefs. You clamored to get to your feet. To run to him to try and keep him from turning to face Mihawk.

He must have seen it on your face. You were probably doing a terrible job of keeping your thoughts off your face. All the panic.

A soft smile slid across his lips. It wasn’t big enough to crack his lips or show teeth. It never reached his eyes, but it didn’t have to. It was a smile just meant for you. His way of telling you it was alright; to soothe you before the final blow came.

For one last fleeting moment, you looked at one another and you imagined yourselves back inside the ship. Zoro sitting in his hammock being his usual broody self while you clean up the wound on his chest. You could practically hear him mumbling some shit about you not being gentle against the lip of a newly opened bottle of rum.

It felt so real that, for a split second, you thought it was. You’d been so caught up in your own daydream that you hadn’t realized he’d turned his back on you. Now he was facing Mihawk his arms spread open wide giving him a perfect kill shot of his chest.

“Wounds on the back are a swordsman's greatest shame.”

“Magnificent.”

In one swift motion, you watched as Mihawk sliced through the air with his blade cutting perfectly through Zoro’s chest.

“NO!”

This time you did find your voice and it was unhinged. All that panic you pushed to the side and all that hope you’d allowed yourself to blindly follow came crashing down like a wave. It strangled every last bit of feeling until all that was left was the crushing weight of despair. You were aware that Luffy was there at his side. You could hear him calling out to Zoro with his hands pressed at his body.

You were sprinting down the last of the ramp and onto the dock. You couldn’t remember bending down to be at his side but your eyes could see him. It was Zoro but not the Zoro you were used to.

Already he was turning ghostly pale as the wound continued to bleed. We have to stop the bleeding. There was so much blood and he was in so much pain. The wound Mihawk created went from the left shoulder down to the beginning of his sash. It was massive. Zoro’s breathing was shaky and would quiet down until you weren’t even sure if he was even taking in a full breath.

You reached over to feel his pulse. It weakly flutters against your ring and middle finger as you press down. When you pulled away you noticed your forearm streaked with blood.

“Monkey D. Luffy - what is your goal?”

“I’m going to become King of the Pirates.”

“King of the Pirates, eh? That’s a much more treacherous path than even defeating me.”

“I don’t care.” Luffy looked back at Mihawk. His usual determination in his voice, but it missed the warmth and it trembled with each word. Whether it was from anger or sadness you would never know. “It’s what I am going to do.”

“Hmm. Maybe you will at that. This world could use a few more wild cards. Roronoa Zoro, It’s too soon for you to die. Grow strong and come find me. I’ll be waiting.”

You wanted to scream at him to go to hell. You wished you could send him there yourself, but Zoro was still alert. He was fighting and that meant maybe it was his fate to be the one to send the big feathered asshole there himself.

You wanted to tell him that. To make a joke. You owed him the one about the Marine and the Pirate walking into a bar. You just couldn’t bring yourself to speak. Your hands were trembling violently every time you moved them to try and touch him. So, you clenched them down and kept them pressed into your thighs.

Usopp came to kneel beside Luffy and Nami slowly made her way to stand next to you.

“He’s losing so much blood. Doc, what should we do?”

What should we do?

What were you supposed to tell them? You were the doctor. Their doctor. It’s why Luffy had asked you to join. It was your job to heal them and keep them well.

Doc, what should we do?

You should know the answer. You should be the one ordering them around and telling them what to bring you to start staunching the wound.

“He’s gonna be okay. Hey Zoro, can you hear me? He said it was too soon for you to die.”

“Luffy-“

Fuck. Zoro sounded so weak. All the broody, snarky asshole comments that he’d made were full of life. Each word was rich with the baritone of his voice that dripped down your skin like honey. That same voice now barely rose above a whisper.

“If I fail to become the world’s greatest swordsman…you’ll be disappointed. Right?”

Each word came out strained. With each breath, he fought to take through the gash in his chest.

“You could never fail me.”

Zoro opened his eyes and looked over at his Captain. The pain began to make tears spring into his eyes and run down the corners.

“Never. Again. From now until I beat him.” A grunt of pain burst from his mouth as he grabbed his body to the hilt of the Wado Ichimonji and lifted it up to the sky. His free hand covered his face as if he was ashamed. “To become the world's greatest swordsman I will never lose again!”

Zoro swore it with such conviction you expected him to stand up at any moment and walk himself back to the Merry. Your assessment was wrong, however, when he suddenly went limp with the sword and his arm crashing down against the dock.

“Zoro?”

This time he was unresponsive. The blood pooling around his middle and seeping into the front of his gi blossomed into a flower that grew ever brighter with each passing second.

“Doc!” Usopp shouted. It was enough to finally tear your eyes away from Zoro and focus on something else. “What do we do? You’re the doctor here.”

“Right.” The word came out in a huff through your nose.

Your eyes scanned the scene that was laid out in front of you. It was time to be scientific about this. To focus on what was fixable in front of you and to put whatever feelings you had to the side.

Why did that feel easier said than done?

They were still waiting for you to direct them. Six pairs of eyes equally as lost as you waiting for direction on how to save their crew mate - their friend - in front of them. Your tongue lashed out to nervously wet your bottom lip as you scrambled to your feet.

“We - we need to move him back to the ship. We have to stop the bleeding.”

“Okay, right good call, Doc,” Luffy offered as you all scrambled to grab a limb.

“Just make sure that when we lift him we do it carefully-“

Luffy and Usopp didn’t wait for you and Nami to grab a hold of either leg. They just lifted and his legs flopped against the deck.

“Jesus, she said to do it together and carefully!” Nami snapped.

“I’m sorry I’m just nervous.”

Usopp was obviously as panicked as you.

“It’s alright, let's just grab him and get him back to the Merry.”

The four of you grabbed a hold of Zoro and this time smoothly picked him up. Luffy and Usopp carried his upper body and thank god he did. You weren’t expecting him to feel like you were trying to carry a sea cow. Scratch that. It felt like you were trying to carry a sea beast.

The first steps you took were good, but by the time you started making it up the ramp back into the Merry, you were all struggling not to drop your end.

“Easy! Easy! Jesus, be careful!”

Nami instructed the boys - mostly Usopp - as they took the last step down onto the bridge.

“Guys. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold my end,” Usopp grunted.

“We are almost there, Usopp. Just hold on.”

“I’m trying but this guy is really heavy.”

To prove his point, Usopp started shuffling backward quicker than you expected. He shoved his shoulder into the double doors of the galley forcing you all to catch up with him. The movement causes you and Nami to bump into one another as you each hold on to one of his legs.

“Easy. Don’t drop him!”

“I didn’t. He’s just heavy. I mean, he’s got a really big head. It’s, like, freakishly big.”

“Now is not the time, Usopp,” you grunted as you all moved to set him down on the island.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

The question came from Nami as she made her way around the galley’s kitchen. She was searching through cupboards at a furious rate and you didn’t have to ask what it was she was searching for. She’d heard you loud and clear about needing to stop the bleeding. You had some clean linens that were stashed inside your room. You should’ve gone for them, but suddenly, seeing Zoro lifeless on the island of the galley…you couldn’t recall any of your training.

“Zoro? Hey, can you hear me?”

Luffy’s soft question was drowned out by Usopp asking where the first aid kit was.

“Why would we need a first aid kit when we have a doctor?” Nami shot back.

“That’s right. Doc, what are we doing?”

They were looking to you to direct them. You are the doctor. This was your time to shine to be able to prove that you were worth the space Luffy had offered you. So, why couldn’t you move? Your brain was moving at a thousand miles a minute and yet every time it landed on free space it came up empty. If it wasn’t empty, it was screaming that Zoro was dying and you weren’t going to be able to save him.

Nami returned to the head of Zoro and was holding it in place. You weren’t sure why. The wound was on his chest. Usopp was now thrashing around the room looking for rags.

“Doc!”

This time Nami smacked your arm to get your attention. Your feet moved of their own accord to the edge of the island as you reached out and started peeling back the soaked fabric of his shirt.

There have been times when you were daydreaming in the privacy of your room that you imagined peeling back Zoro’s shirt just like this. To expose the taut muscles underneath. In all of your daydreams, it was never like this. Not like this.

A sharp hiss of air cut through your teeth as you exposed the large gash to the room. It was approximately two - almost three inches in width. The first and second layer of skin was severed leaving the third exposed and dangerously close to opening it to severe infection.

“These towels are all I could find. Where’s he bleeding from?”

“Everywhere.”

“Nami, I need you to add pressure with the towels. I have to run to my room and get some supplies.”

“Ok, but Doc hurry.”

Asking for speed felt like an understatement. There wasn’t a soul alive inside that ship who didn’t realize that Zoro was beginning to show fewer and fewer signs of breathing. His skin was taking on a grayish tone like a corpse making his green hair look sickly against the grotesque hue.

You didn’t bother telling her you knew he was dying. You just needed out of that room.

Your feet carried you out of memory to your room which sat directly across the hall from Zoro. How many times had you gone to go inside your own room and paused, considering knocking on his just to see him leaning against his open door? The thought of never having the chance to make it a reality spurred you inside your room.

You knew you were going to need thread and a good stitching needle to close the wound. What you really needed was something to fight infection both outwardly and inward. The tonic would have to wait. Without further thought, your hands started going through every jar that held a gathered plant and salves you’d previously made. What you needed was the same Chiterra you’d used on Zeff mere hours ago. It’d been left inside your satchel.

You ran to its place sat on your bed and upended the bag onto the mattress. Your hands flung everything off until you came to the jade-green bottle and held it up to the light. You didn’t need the sunlight to tell you there wasn’t enough in the bottle. You’d applied most of it on Zeff.

With a scream, you hurled the bottle against the wall. All that panic was turning to rage and you couldn’t keep it bottled in. You went to grab the things you did have and noticed on the small desk in the corner the snowdrop Zoro had placed behind your ear.

Suddenly, you were standing back inside that forest. The feeling of his fingertips gliding over your ear as he deposited the flower, hand lingering longer than it should’ve. There was no mistaking the way he looked at you then was the same way he’d looked at you on the deck. The same way he’d looked at you seconds before Mihawk and tried to slice him in half.

No. Zoro wasn’t going to die today.

Grabbing what you had, you rushed back out of your room and to the galley.

“We need to go to the Baratie and ask if they have any supplies.”

“What are you talking about?” Nami asked, flabbergasted. “How do you not have the supplies?”

“I used most of it last night, mending Zeff.”

“Why the hell were you doing that?!”

“It was to help, Luffy-“You took a deep breath and pressed your hands out, as if it was going to push all the panic you’d pressed down from climbing back up again. “It doesn’t matter now. Luffy, can you go to Baratie?”

“I’m not really hungry right now, Doc.”

“Luffy, no-“ deep breath. Breathe. “I need something that is able to fight an infection. Something we can put on the skin.”

“Right! Right, I can do that!”

Luffy looked over Zoro’s body one last time before he sprinted out of the kitchen. It left the three of you waiting there until he returned but you were done with waiting. You were a doctor and it was about damn time you acted like one.

If only you could get your hands to stop shaking.

“Usopp, I need you to take this needle over to the stove and sterilize it for me, please.”

“I’m on it, Doc.”

“What do you need me to do?”

Nami patiently waited to take whatever direction you would give her. You were sure if you told her to bring you fifty buckets of seawater she would do it without question.

“Just go back up towards his head and talk to him. I’m going to sew up the wound and, well, it’s not going to feel too great.”

“Okay. I can do that.”

You both went to move around the other to get into position when you lightly grabbed her arm in passing. She turned to you with eyes too wide to be anything else but shocked and you wondered if you mirrored her expression.

“Thank you for coming back.”

You weren’t sure why you needed to tell her that, especially at a time like this, but you meant it. No matter what was happening right now, Nami had proven to be the sister you’d never had. Without her here now you might have been lost.

You let your hand fall away as you came to the side of Zoro and began to unravel the thread. You had most of it unraveled when Usopp showed up beside you and handed over a very sterile needle. You threaded the black thread through the stitching needle and decided to start working on the smallest area.

Maybe by the time you finished with it the tremors in your hands might have disappeared.

Luffy arrived back from Baratie with Zeff and Sanji in tow. All three of them walked in just as you finished the last crisscross of stitching on Zoro’s chest.

“Oy, I was wondering why he was asking for me,” Zeff huffed as he came around the opposite side of the island. “I could’ve sworn you said you were a doctor.”

“I am. I just don’t have anything to put over the wounds to support healing or to keep them from getting infected. I asked Luffy to go in case you did.”

Sanji set down a basket on the island and you couldn’t keep your brow from quirking up in question.

“Are we having a picnic?”

“Very cute, smart ass,” Zeff shot back. “Yellowtail skin is known to have enzymes in the skin that staunch the wounds and speed up the healing process.”

As he explained it all to you, Sanji unrolled a set of very sharp-looking knives and handed the second largest to Zeff. Right after he unrolled the yellowtail from its wrapping and held it out for the older man to take.

Zeff stroked the fish in appreciation before he began to cut it. Once the head was removed and he sliced it in half, you all watched as he carefully thinly sliced the yellowtail’s skin in sections. Each section of the fish was cut and placed on a plate until the entire fish was flayed. When he finished with the last slice, Zeff motioned for someone to grab the plate as he made his way around to join you on your side of the island.

“It’s my turn to teach you a little something, girl.”

You wouldn’t deny that you didn’t know about yellowtail skin being able to do any of this. As you watched Zeff carefully layer it over your stitch work, you wondered if Naan was even aware of it.

“Is he going to be okay?”

Usopp’s question was so soft you wondered if he’d even spoken. His eyes, like the rest of you, all focused on the motionless body of your crew mate.

“I’m not going to lie to you. He’s lost a lot of blood. I’m sure your doctor can even tell you that. It might be too late for him.”

“But it might not be.”

Luffy wasn’t going to give up on Zoro. He refused to think of any possibilities where Zoro didn’t wake up. You wish you shared the same belief as him. That Zeff’s words didn’t sit heavily in your thoughts because it was the same one you had.

“He’s got one foot in each world right now, caught between life and death. You have to find a way to keep him tethered to our world. Talk to him. Tell him stories. Sing him sea shanties for all I care. He may not reply, but at least he’ll know his crew is still with him.”

“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed. “Singing lovely little tunes isn’t going to save anybody.”

“It’s not about science or what’s up here,” Zeff replied, a thick finger poking you dead between the eyes. “Sometimes it’s the heart of the matter that saves people.”

Naan would’ve hollered about Zeff being the biggest idiot she’d ever met if she’d heard one word of that. A part of you wanted to ask if he could tell by the look he gave you.

“We need to wrap him.”

“God, does that mean we gotta hold him up again?” Usopp whined.

“Yes,” you shot back. “Usopp it does mean I need you guys to help hold him up.”

“I can help you. If you like.”

Sanji stepped around Zeff to come to your side. All his earlier flirting was replaced by the genuine desire to help. You were sure if Zoro knew Sanji had helped him in any way he would implode, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.

“Sure. I would appreciate it. Thank you, Sanji.”

You waited on bated breath to hear a cheesy pick-up line and found yourself coming up empty. You got your wraps ready as you motioned for Sanji to lift him and when you finished, Nami offered to let Zoro stay in her room. You didn’t help carry him inside and figured it was only a few short feet from the galley to her room.

You needed air. You needed rum. You still needed to go fix up your room.

The only thing you did was the first on that list.

You’d found yourself standing on the stern of the ship. Your arms hung over the railing as you took in the endless blue that surrounded you and the last few stragglers of ships remaining from the night before. You tried to let your mind relax by wondering who was on those ships; the stories Usopp could create would either leave you in wonder or hysterics.

That was what you really wanted. Your best friend to tell you a story as far-fetched as the one you’d all been a part of in less than twenty-four hours. You went to remove yourself from the rail when Luffy appeared beside you. His eyes scanned out over everything before him before he turned to smile at you.

“Hey, Doc.”

“Hey Luffy. Everything alright?”

He still looked shaken by everything that had happened. The smile he’d tried to plaster on his face while Zoro was still conscious on the dock was replaced now with something you never thought you’d see: fear.

Monkey D. Luffy was afraid. You wanted to reach out and hug him. To remind him that life came with no playbook and you were all just fumbling around trying to make the best decisions without ever knowing the outcomes.

“Yeah. No. Maybe Nami was right and I should’ve tried harder to stop Zoro.”

“Luffy, Zoro was always going to do what he wanted. I don’t think you telling him not to do it would’ve mattered. What he wanted to know was that you were in his corner believing he could do it. You did the right thing as a Captain. As a friend.”

As the words left you, you knew every single one of them was true. The stubborn idiot was going to go out and do this duel no matter what. It’s what he’d trained himself to do and why he continued to train. Who were any of you to tell him all of that was for nothing?

While Luffy listened and filtered your words through his head, you could see the small worry lines that had creased his forehead begin to ease. The darkness behind his eyes lightened just enough that you could feel his sunshine beginning to peek through the storm.

“I’m always going to be in every one of your corners because you guys are in mine.”

You tried to give him a weak smile. Something that could equal the one he’d given you. You could feel it falling flat and decided it was safer to look back over the side of the Merry or at your hands.

It was a mistake. How you’d missed the blood - Zoro’s blood - that had caked on your fingers and between them was beyond you. Instantly, you felt like you needed to bathe. To scrub your skin raw before it leaves a deeper imprint like an unwanted tattoo.

Luffy must have noticed your panic because he moved closer to you, shoulder to shoulder, and gently reached out to stop you from scratching through your skin.

“Why are you out here, Doc?”

His question was light. Soft. A whisper that forced you to hang your head before a flood of emotion threatened to burst from the dam in your chest.

“I should’ve believed in him more, like you do. I should’ve shown him or had more faith in who he is.”

“The Demon Pirate Hunter?”

That did make a snort of a laugh leave you as you looked up at Luffy.

“Your first mate.”

You were surprised when Luffy suddenly wrapped a long arm around you and pulled you into a tight hug. You thought you were going to have to tap out and tell him it was too much. Damn, could he give a good hug. But you didn’t. You wrapped an arm around his waist and allowed yourself to be consumed for just a little while by sunshine.

“You did an amazing job today, Doc.”

You pressed a scoff into his chest before you pushed away and secured yourself back over the railing.

“That’s really sweet Luffy, but no I didn't. I was sloppy. Unprepared. My response time was shit.” Your delay in helping Zoro could be what cost him his life. You didn’t want to say it out loud. The guilt - shame - of that hard fact sat like stones in your gut. “If Naan were here she’d have my ass.”

“But you saved him.”

Luffy looked so confused and you weren’t sure you wanted to explain it to him. He believed in you more than you believe in yourself.

“No. All I did was make him comfortable if he died.”

It felt like you were speaking through molasses. The idea of him dying filled your body with such raw grief it threatened to topple you over.

“That’s not true.”

It was true, and Naan would’ve used this moment as another one of her hard lessons. One just to prove why getting attached to others was never good for a healer. Everything she’d ever taught you had gone right out the window as you watched Zoro fall. All the training and knowledge wasted as you acted like a lovesick girl and not the one who maybe could’ve saved him if she hadn’t been so lost in her head.

No. You weren’t who Luffy thought you were or who you’d even thought you were. You should’ve stocked up on ingredients more. Noted all the tools you were missing and got them instead of worrying about a world full of promise and adventure.

“I’m going to go wash up, Luffy. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Make sure you stop in to see Zoro, Doc. I know he’d like to hear from you.”

You didn’t know what to say. Would he want to see someone who selfishly tried to keep him from being who he was? You could still hear the last conversation playing in your head. The way his voice cracked just enough to notice.

“I’ll be sure to do that.”

You didn’t mean it. You weren’t sure if you could face him but another part of you wondered if the last memory you wanted to carry of him was him lying bleeding on Baratie’s dock.

The bath had been scolding hot and your skin was still slightly red from how furiously you’d scrubbed it. You’d had no intention of going in to see Zoro.

Not yet.

But as you left your room you heard Nami’s voice raise and you bolted toward the sound. What if something was happening to Zoro? Instead of the possibility of you going into doctor mode, you noticed it was yelling of a different kind.

“And I would like it if Zoro wasn’t dying in my bed!”

No! Not dying…

You came shooting around the corner and into the room. Your eyes take in a small-looking Luffy as Nami stands on the opposite side of where Zoro lies. Her eyes were piercing and sharp and full of anger directed solely at your captain.

“I can’t get in the way of someone’s dream, Nami.”

“What’s going on here?”

Nami’s gaze moved over to you and it made you want to stop in your tracks. It felt like she was almost blaming you for the dying friend in her bed.

“Nothing. I was just leaving.”

“Again?”

The word came out before you could stop it. The irritation sparked from her in waves. You hadn’t meant to say it but you were too emotionally exhausted to care.

“Again?” Luffy asked, visibly lost.

“It's nothing,” Nami quickly dismissed your words as she set down the book she’d been reading. “Just a slip of the tongue. Right, Doc?”

She wasn’t giving you time to answer her because she wasn’t trying to have more conversation. Not with you and definitely not with Luffy. Somehow, you’d both ended up in the shit yard.

You turned to watch her retreat and didn’t take one step forward until you were sure she was gone. You reached out to Luffy and touched his arm briefly before you dropped it back down to your side.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just-“

He was back to looking lost. His eyes searched for answers ingrained in the wood of the ship and coming up short. He looked up at Zoro still lying motionless in bed and turned in your direction.

“I’m going to get the Wado Itchy Monkey ready for him when he wakes up.”

“Itchy monkey?”

“His sword.”

Now this was the Luffy you knew. It wasn’t as cheerful as it should’ve been but you would take this smile over the wounded look any day.

“Oh, right. The Itchy Monkey.”

You hoped somehow Zoro could hear this and was screaming.

“Do you want to come with me? I think Sanji is also with Usopp in the galley cooking something. If you want to eat.”

“Maybe later. I need to do an assessment first.”

“Oh, yeah. Let us know how it goes.”

“You got it, Captain.”

“Why do you call me that?”

“Call you what?

“Captain. No one else does.”

His question took you back. Was there something else he wanted to be referred to instead of Captain? He’d seemed to make it pretty clear his dream wasn’t just finding the One Piece, but having a crew all his own.

“Uhm, because you’re my Captain and that is false. Usopp does say it…sometimes. In between calling himself Captain Usopp.”

You waited to see that infamous smile brighten his face. The one that reminded you of the good that was housed inside him and the painful realization he was still so young. What you got instead was a softer smile, one that still reached his eyes but spoke plainly of gratitude.

“Make sure that when you’re done you get something to eat. That’s an order.”

You offered up a mock salute as you replied, “Aye, Captain.”

It felt ridiculous. It felt silly but it also felt good. Like you weren’t standing in a room where Zoro was slipping in and out of death. Silly like sitting back in a restaurant. All five of you enjoying a meal filled with laughter and teasing conversation.

With a heavy sigh, you turned to face the unconscious man before you. He looked incredibly peaceful and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve believed he was just sleeping. But his breathing was still too shallow and there wasn’t any eye movement indicative of dreaming or thought.

He looked like a shell of the man you’d fallen in love with. The color hadn’t returned to his skin and there was a noticeable sheen of sweat to his forehead and upper lip. Gently, you pressed the back of your hand to his forehead and felt the warmth to his skin.

You figured there would be a fever, but not so soon. You weren’t sure if it was a good or bad sign but you wouldn’t dwell on it. A fever meant he needed medicine, which was your specialty. You set to work pulling what you needed out of your satchel and began to make something to help reduce the fever and hopefully help whatever infection was in his blood.

After you steeped all the ingredients through the strainer you walked over to Zoro and gently lifted up his head. You had some trouble wiggling the nose of the bottle between his lips when you remembered you still had to contend with his teeth.

“A pain in the ass even while dying,” you groaned.

You placed his head back down against the pillow and quickly ran through your options. You tried to prop him up as much as you could before you placed your hand on his chin and applied a small amount of pressure until you felt his jaw begin to open. Finally, you were able to deposit some of the medicine between his lips. Your hands gently coax his throat to swallow by running your fingers against the skin.

Once it was done you placed the jar behind you on Nami’s dresser and went to get a cool washcloth. You weren’t sure if you were going to stay until you started wiping the sweat from his brow.

You found yourself sitting in the chair Nami no doubt abandoned and the book she’d been reading to him. The tale of Noland. The liar. A man who claimed to have seen something and there was never any proof.

Liar. That’s what stuck out to you the most.

You’d been staring at the cloth in your hands, fingers picking at the fraying pieces unable to look at him. Not until now.

You weren’t sure why you felt so unsure of whether you should be there. If you should bother staying. The last time you’d spoken he’d made it clear what he thought of you and yet…

Reaching out you took hold of his hand for the first time. It felt wrong doing it like this but what were the chances of you being able to do it again? Your thumb moved slowly over his knuckles as if trying to outline each one perfectly to memory.

“How are you supposed to train me to kick your ass if you don’t wake up?”

Zoro didn’t show any signs of stirring at your words. You expected him to turn his head at any minute. His eyes flew open in horror at the idea of you ever kicking his ass. You could practically hear all the remarks he’d make.

“The day you ever kicked my ass is the day hell freezes over.”

“It’ll take a miracle for you to even get close.”

But they were the only ones that you heard in your head. Figments of previous conversations warped to fit the crazy narrative that he would be able to answer you back.

“You know, if Naan could’ve seen how I acted today she would’ve killed me.”

An empty laugh left you as you looked up at his face. There wasn’t the usual dart of a raised brow in teasing. No hard stare that made you feel like he was silently yelling at you for getting on his nerves.

“She would’ve been disappointed. She taught me over the years that a doctor who can’t think on their feet at lightning speed is useless. A doctor who got emotionally attached to their patients was equally as useless.” You tore your eyes away from him to look at the safety of your lap. Unable to look at him as you spoke, “I was useless at being able to help you when it mattered.”

The sob you’d been struggling to hold back erupted in a burst that forced you to cover it with your hand. You couldn’t let anyone else hear you as you shattered.

“Maybe that was my final lesson from her. To prove that caring for all of you the way I do is only going to harm you later.”

What good was having a doctor who was only going to fail them later? But Zoro still being alive proved that it wasn’t just medicine that kept people going, but their own desire to live. That was all you wanted. You didn’t need him to wake up and proclaim his undying devotion to you. Even if he woke up still hating you, you would accept it. Anything was good enough for you if it meant you’d get to see him smile one last time.

Walking into the galley you expected it to be either quiet or at least filled with light conversation. Maybe even a couple of gloomy faces.

What you hadn’t expected? For it to smell like Baratie inside the tiny space, and to find the reason for the smell to be Sanji talking away with Luffy and Usopp while he cooked.

“It smells like heaven in here,” you mused, taking in a deep inhale of all the aromas floating inside the kitchen.

Usopp was leaning against the island - in the same exact spot Zoro had been in mere hours ago. His blood still stained part of the wood. You couldn’t bring yourself to go near it. So, you made your way around it completely and over to sit with Luffy. Who was currently cleaning the Wado Ichimonji for Zoro just like he said he would.

Everywhere you looked Zoro’s presence was a constant reminder. A ghost haunting you that you hadn’t signed up for.

“If this is heaven then in walked an Angel.”

Instantly, all your sadness was quickly replaced with irritation - and relief.

“It’s a little too early to be flirting, isn’t it?”

“Nah. It’s never too early to let a beautiful woman know just how breathtaking she is.”

“Ugh, I wouldn’t let Zoro hear you talk to Doc like that,” Usopp chuckled nervously. “I think he’d probably implode.”

“I’m sorry. Who?”

Sanji either must have had the worst memory you’d encountered in a while or he was playing dumb for the hell of it. Usopp took a bit of the apple he’d grabbed from the fruit bowl. He held up a finger letting Sanji know he needed to wait while he chewed before he spoke.

“Green-haired guy. Three swords.”

“The one from this morning?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

Sanji cocked his head to the side as if he was questioning if Usopp was telling him a joke and he’d missed the punchline. He was in the middle of folding something in the middle of what looked like dough and you were tempted to interrupt their small discussion about your nonexistent love life to see what it was.

“I think I’ll take my chances.”

Sanji smiled warmly at Usopp and sent another eye twitch in your direction.

This guy was going to give you trouble.

You watched as Luffy softly ran one of Zoro’s clothes over the sheath of the blade. He was taking his time and made sure he didn’t miss a single part. He was dedicated to making sure Zoro knew his things were safe here, with all of you, on the Merry. That he was a captain who would do what was necessary for the things you all loved and held valuable.

“So, how did he look, Doc?”

Luffy’s question tore your eyes away from watching him do another round of polishing. He hadn’t looked at you yet, but you knew the minute you started talking he would give you his undivided attention.

“He’s doing okay. No real change in vital signs. A slight infection has set in and gave him a fever. I made some medicine to give him every few hours just to make sure it’s nothing major.”

Luffy placed a hand on your shoulder and gave you a light shake. A smile graced his lips as he replied, “The best doctor in all of the East Blue and soon, the Grand Line!”

You wish you could smile back brighter or maybe with something that looks genuine. Instead, a grimace meant to resemble a smile graced your lips.

“I don’t know about the best doctor. I had no idea yellowtail skin had so many wonderful properties in them.”

“I don’t think any of us did, honestly,” Sanji offered.

“It makes me wonder if Naan even knew about it.”

“What? You mean the resident doctor in your village never used the wonder that is yellowtail.”

“I think if you told Naan to go fishing for an ingredient you’d end up fishing your teeth off the floor.”

“Oooh,” Sanji chuckled. “Is she really that bad?”

“Worse,” Usopp interjected. “Naan isn’t really known for taking new age information or techniques very well.”

“Hey,” you interject with a pout.

“You know it’s true. She follows what her mother taught her religiously and makes Doc follow it too. I’m not saying she’s not a great doctor just…really old school.”

“I mean, she is old, Usopp,” you deadpanned.

“You know what I meant.”

“You two seem to know each other pretty well.”

Sanji was keeping himself busy still with scooping batter into a piping bag. You were so tempted to ask him what the hell he was making and how soon would you be able to get any of it. His statement was said with an inviting smile and a look of interest in his eyes as he looked between you and Usopp.

“Doc and I go way back. She was literally, like, my only friend in the village we grew up in.”

“That is not true. You had Kaya. I had you and Naan and that was about it.”

“I’m sure a beautiful woman such as yourself has plenty of friends and admirers.”

God, please make him stop calling you beautiful.

“Well, you’re wrong. No one in the village liked me.”

“They were actually scared of her.”

You loved how casually Usopp could just drop information without a care in the world. He was always like that since you were kids. You figured it must have been part of his ability to weave stories so intricately. Sprinkle truth throughout the lie and no one was sure what part was real and what wasn’t. The only problem here? He didn’t follow it up with anything else but the truth.

“Usopp!” You shot out in a groan.

He’d taken a bit of the apple again so all you got in response was a shoulder shrug.

“Why would villagers be scared of you?”

It wasn’t hard to miss the disbelief in Luffy’s voice or the small chuckle that clung to the back of each word.

“Because-“

“Because she just showed up out of thin air on the island.” Usopp interrupted trying to swallow the remaining apple pieces in his throat. “No parents. No nothing. They all thought that a Siren or something dropped her off on the shores. All the villagers thought she was a bad omen.”

“Oh my god, Usopp! I’m like right here I can tell it and, by the way, you are the reason why everyone thought I came as a curse from the ocean and that my mom was a Siren!”

“I was trying to help you. It got Johnny Fittsmore to stop cutting pieces of your hair, didn’t it!”

“Wow. Okay.” Sanji mumbled. “Weren’t kidding on the friend's part.”

“Why was he cutting pieces of your hair?”

You weren’t surprised Luffy was confused. He was kind-hearted, and would probably never grasp the concept of people choosing to be mean.

“I just showed up on the beach aboard a small lifeboat. Naan said she could hear my cries from her house.”

“Cries? As in a baby?”

Sanji stopped all he was doing to rest his hands on the counter. His broad shoulders hunched forward as he looked at you through a small window of hair. He looked visibly upset and the last thing you needed was the new guy to think you were broken.

“I don’t know if I was a baby. I just know I was small and Naan decided not to let the birds eat me.”

“No parents?”

“I mean, does anyone really have parents at this point?”

Usopp’s mom unfortunately passed away while you were both young. He’d never met his dad, Yasopp, wherever that no good baby daddy of a pirate was and basically had Usopp chasing after shadows in hopes he would ever return. Luffy seemed to only have a crazy stalker grandpa and that left Nami and Zoro with the chance of having actual functioning parental units somewhere.

“The lucky ones do.”

Sanji’s reply was delicate, like his smile, as if he said it too loud it would spook you.

“I guess that makes us an unlucky bunch of misfits,” you replied.

“I think we’re pretty lucky,” Luffy interjected. “We all found each other.”

You were not going to cry.

In the few hours this all happened, you couldn’t remember the last time you smiled and meant it. A handful of those times had been with Luffy and, just like the times before, you could feel your own smile curving your lips. A real one.

“I could drink to that.”

“Funny you mention a drink,” Sanji began as he placed something in the oven. “But I think you still owe me one.”

You got up from your seat and made your way over to stand next to the sink. Your eyes watched as Sanji did, in fact, have a bottle waiting in the basket he’d brought back from Baratie.

“You always carry a bottle around with you?”

“Only when I get the chance to share a drink with a talented woman, such as yourself.”

“Do any of these lines usually work on women?”

A full-throated laugh left him as he grabbed two glasses and began to pour the drinks. You would never say it out loud, not even if someone threatened to cut a limb off, but you enjoyed Sanji’s company. He didn’t take himself too seriously, except for his cooking.

He let you tease him and took everything you served in stride. Although…you did miss the way Zoro always seemed to have something equally sharp to send back your way. Sanji just liked being in the company of others, especially if that company happened to be the opposite sex.

“Sometimes,” he answered honestly. “It’s usually my charm and not my words that do it.”

“I can see that.”

He was charming. He was handsome. There wasn’t a point in denying facts just because your cup of tea was currently brewing on life support in the back. Sanji handed you your glass and lifted his up in a toast.

“To the first drink and, hopefully, to many more.”

You moved your glass to meet his and a light clink filled the space between you. You brought the glass to your lips and swallowed the liquid in a few gulps. As you set your glass back on the island you could hear a soft chuckle from Usopp coming from behind you. When you turned to look at him he was grinning from ear to ear.

“What?”

“Zoro is going to be so pissed when he gets up.”

You were about to tell him to shut up and remind him you were both very much single and in no way romantically involved. Even if you might have wanted that to happen, Zoro made it clear it wasn’t what he wanted.

You started to open your mouth when Nami came crashing in through the galley’s doors.

“Luffy! Luffy! The Arlong Pirates are at Baratie. We have to leave now.”

“What? Why? Why should we leave?”

“Because they are looking for you!”

“Just fucking great,” you sighed as you grabbed the bottle Sanji had left on the table.

Her last words were directed at Luffy. Of course, someone was here for Luffy. When wasn’t someone here for him? Stalker grandpa. Stalker grandpa’s war dog. Now another pirate who may or may not be working with stalker Grandpa.

“Me?”

Luffy seemed as surprised as the rest of you. A finger pointing at himself just to make sure we were all physically sure it was, in fact, him.

“And the map. Those fishmen will tear this place apart if Zeff doesn’t turn him over.”

In a flash, all the joking and light conversation disappeared. One minute Sanji was beside you and then he was bounding around the island to get to his coat.

“Where are you going?”

“If Baratie‘s in danger, I need to be there.”

You knew what was going to happen before Luffy even spoke. The goodness that was the core of who Luffy was would never abandon people to possible pain and suffering. It wasn’t in whatever strange and stretchy DNA that made up who he was. It was why you’d joined him and why you would continue to be aboard this ship until he no longer wanted you there.

“Alright, I’m coming with you.”

“Did you not hear what I just said? They are hunting you. We need to run.”

“I’m with Nami on this one. I’m really not trying to ruffle any feathers or scales.”

“Usopp. There are innocent people inside that place.

“How do you know that, Doc? It’s a restaurant that serves pirates!”

“Usopp - we,” you indicated between the two of you, “are pirates.”

“Oh, yeah. That’s a solid point, but still-“

“I’m not running,” Luffy cut in. “We’re going to protect this place.”

“This isn’t your fight. Why would you do that?”

You could feel yourself waiting for the answer - for Sanji to experience the man that was Monkey D. Luffy. With a kind smile, he simply replied, “You fed us.”

Kindness for a kindness.

“Look, I know this crew. Their captain, Arlong, has the highest bounty in all of the East Blue. You do not want to mess with him.”

“It sounds like he messed with us first.”

“Luffy, please. Please.”

“Nami. What are you so afraid of?”

You weren’t sure what possessed you to say it or why you moved towards her. It didn’t matter if she tried to deny it or cover it up with anger this time. You’d seen her and the fear that rolled off her like a sickness appeared to cripple her.

“What do I have to be afraid of? You are all going to rush in there and get yourselves killed!”

“Nami,” Luffy said, “I can’t let innocent people get hurt because of me. If those fishmen guys want a fight, we’re gonna give them one.” He looked between Nami and you and walked over to her. A solid hand cupping her shoulder. “You two stay back with the ship and protect the map. Hmm.”

“Fuck that!”

You stepped forward to the other side of him forcing him to turn from Nami to face you.

“I’m going with you.”

“Doc, it’s safer-“

“I don’t care. You’re down a man right now and, no offense Usopp, he isn’t the greatest choice for backup.”

“Hey! I’m taking all the offense!”

“Take it all I don’t care. Luffy, I may not be a three-sword-wielding badass but I can help you. Let me help you. Please.”

Luffy regarded you for one long moment before he slowly nodded.

“You can’t be serious?”

Nami regarded you like you’d gone insane. Maybe you had. You weren’t a soldier. You didn’t know much about fighting besides when you punched Isaki Quade in the nose in the lemon grove.

“I’m going with him, Nami.”

“It’s going to be alright, Nami,” Luffy interjected. “The ship and the map will be safe with you.”

With that, Luffy turns on his heel and heads for the door. As you walked past the island you reached up and removed a pot from the upper rack. If Zoro could see you now, you could already hear what he would say in your head.

Seriously? You’re bringing the pot with you?

“What’s with the pot?” Sanji asked.

You twirled it around in your hand as you both tried to keep pace with Luffy’s quick steps.

“It’s my weapon of choice.”

Sanji still looked confused but you didn’t have time to explain. Luffy was already up and over the side of the Merry and walking towards the deck. If you didn’t catch up fast he would be inside Baratie before you even made it to the door.

“This is a bad idea. Such a bad idea.”

You knew Usopp was trying to whisper it to himself. He’d always been one to talk his thoughts out when he wasn’t even trying. You tried to soothe him as you passed through the door into Baratie with a pat on his back, and instead, he nearly became one with the ceiling.

“We are going to be okay, Usopp.”

“You shouldn’t even be here, Doc,” he snapped back. “You are the ship's doctor. What happens if we get injured and so do you?”

“The good news is in that scenario I’m just injured - not dead. So, I can still patch you guys up.”

“That doesn’t make me feel the least bit better.”

If the mood wasn’t so serious you would’ve laughed. The moment felt like you were back in Syrup village with Usopp rambling on and on about if he should or shouldn’t tell Kaya he was in love with her. No matter what you told him, his head would still worry. It was his nature.

Everything froze in time, however, when Luffy pushed open the double doors and stepped inside the eerily quiet dining room.

“Who here is Arlong?”

That was one way to make an entrance.

“That would be me.”

A deep voice boomed from below you and when you looked over the railing, immediately you wished you’d stayed on the ship. He was holding an older man by the collar, sharp teeth exposed at his throat. You suddenly wished Zoro was here.

“My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I hear you're looking for me.”

“Why, yes I am.”

You had to hand it to Luffy. Arlong looked terrifying to look at and overly confident. Luffy didn’t seem the least bit phased by any of it as he led you all down the stairs.

“So, this is the pirate I’ve heard so much about? You know? I was expecting someone…bigger.”

“So was I.”

If you weren’t so fucking terrified you would’ve laughed. At least Luffy was able to smile for the both of you, because the minute eyes darker than the trenches of the ocean peered up at all of you ready to rip out your throats you swear you felt your soul exit stage left.

“Do you know who I am, boy? I’m Arlong the Saw. Even the Marines flee before my flag.”

“Not ringing a bell. How’s you find me anyway?”

A sickening chuckle that reminded you of gills taking in water filled the room.

“An old friend helped me track you down.”

He clicked his tongue right after he finished, and you hated the fact that you jumped. You hated it even more when Sanji moved to stand just a little in front of you to protect you.

In all of a second, the dirty blonde-haired fishmen reached into a black bag and took out a-

“Is that a fucking clown head?!”

You wanted to scream but swallowed it down as it started talking and- oh god moving. The neck area actually wiggled as he shouted, “Heya, Straw Hat. Did you miss me?”

“Burpy? What are you doing here?”

“Believe me, it wasn’t my first choice either. But these fine fishy folk persuaded me to point them in the right direction, which ain’t easy when you don’t have any hands.”

He let out a laugh like this was like any other day. All completely normal.

“How’d you even know how to find me?”

“I told you. I’ve got eyes and ears everywhere.”

To prove his point, you watched in horror as an ear fluttered its way out of Luffy’s hat and back to attach itself to Burpy’s head.

“What is happening right now?”

Your whisper was aggressive and you weren’t even sure why you were even asking Usopp or Sanji like they even knew. It just made you feel a bit better when all three of you looked at each other equally disturbed.

Luffy, as usual, looked less shocked about the ear in his hat and more that he’d been listening.

“You were listening all along? You heard everything?”

“Everything. And that got old quick, ‘cause you shidiots have no idea what you are doing. By the way, Doc, it's so nice to finally meet you. You’re equally as delicious as Dreamsicle. Wherever she is. Hey, Lips!”

Burpy turned to yell at the fishmen who did have rather large lips to scratch his ear. You were still stuck on the fact a clown head was trying to hit on you.

Maybe you should’ve just stayed with Nami on the boat.

The fishmen denied him his apparent scratch and Burpy went into full shriek mode. You instantly winced at the sound and tried not to cover your ears as his head was shoved back inside the black bag.

“Listen here. I want my map and half of whatever you plunder as tribute. And if you bow down to me, I might even let you serve in my kingdom.”

Arlong was walking slowly towards you - towards Luffy. You weren’t sure if while he talked he was smiling or snarling.

“I don’t bow down to any man.”

“I’m no man.”

“Or fish,” Luffy corrected. “You’re no king.”

“I will be when I get my Grand Line map.”

“Then…” Luffy placed his hat back on his head and you already knew what was coming. “You’re going to have to fight me for it.”

Shit.

Suddenly, coming in with a fucking cooking pot felt ridiculous, but you were gripping it tightly all the same.

“Then let the fighting begin.”

Right as Arlong smacked his fist into his hand, the sound of a gunshot went off and your eyes traveled up to see a rather large Chef’s hat in the middle of the room. Attached to that hat was Zeff who held a small muscat in his hand.

The other fishman who sat at the table with Blondie immediately got up and kicked the wood of Zeff’s wooden leg. It broke without pause and sent the older man tumbling to the floor. When he looked up, the Fishman kicked him hard and sent him flying back through three tables.

“Zeff!”

Sanji’s voice was filled with so much pain your chest aches but it was also thundering to life with adrenaline. How the fuck did you think a pot was going to help at all against them? You could hear Zoro chastising you, calling you a dumbass and you swiftly pushed it away. Now was not the time to talk to imaginary Zoro.

Sanji ran down the stairs and kicked Blondie away and used the momentum to land on their table. He spun off and kicked the Fishman who’d hurt Zeff.

“Usopp!”

He ran past you and shrank down small to get under the table. No one else saw him do it. They were too busy watching Sanji as he took on the fishman.

“Usopp, get bac-“

You moved down the stairs to get him and were greeted with Sanji’s body landing on the exact table. It tipped over instantly and exposed Usopp underneath. He immediately clamored out from underneath it.

“Get the people out of here! Get them out now!”

You rushed down what was left of the stairs as Luffy started shouting out his gum-gum pistol. You could hear his body stretching impossibly far back, but you were busy trying to get to Sanji. He was choking on the air trapped in his lungs and your body was seized in terror that he may have a punctured lung.

“Sanji,” you asked, placing a hand on his face to bring him to focus on your face and the other gently on his side. “Are you alright? Does anything feel broken?”

“Just…my pride,” he wheezed back.

You ignored the fact he’d placed his hand over yours and lightly began to move him towards Usopp who was now on the other stairs. You looked back and saw Arlong toss Luffy violently against the pillar.

“Get up!”

“Luffy!”

You tried to move down off the stairs and felt Sanji grip you tightly around your waist to keep you there with him and Usopp. He kept throwing punch after punch and Arlong took them all with stride. Luffy wasn’t making a dent and to Arlong this was just a game.

Luffy tried to swing on him one last time and Arlong caught it. He tried to swing again to make Arlong let him go, and he easily caught that one. With both fists in his hands, he used them to pull Luffy to him.

You tried to wiggle free but Sanji held on tight and the feeling of Usopp’s hand on your shoulder joined in. Luffy looked so scared; so angry as Arlong told him something through sharpened teeth. One minute they were there and the next Arlong flung him up into the foray.

“Luffy!”

This time you did scream as Arlong took the stairs to reach him. The continued sounds of a body being thrown through stained glass windows.

“Doc, I know you want to go to him but you can’t! It isn’t safe.”

“Fuck that I can’t just let him die!”

You were nearing hysterics. Why couldn’t they remember that Luffy was a Devil Fruit eater? That outside was miles and miles of ocean and Arlong knew it. All it would take is one splash, and one toss, and Luffy would be defenseless. All it would take is him falling over the dock and he would drown.

“He isn’t going to die!”

“Usopp, he ate a Devil fruit! Mother Ocean turns her back on those who do and what is outside with them?”

You needed them to understand that it wasn’t because you wanted to be a hero. You weren’t that kind of person. You just wanted to save the life of your Captain.

You refused to lose two people on the same day.

“Oh, shit,” Usopp mumbled and you felt your head shaking along with it.

“Yes! Shit. I need to make sure he’s okay. Please.”

Sanji looked from Usopp and back to you. Blue eyes desperately searching your face to come up with a reason to tell you no. Finally, he released the hold he kept on your waist and nodded up the stairs.

“Go check on our Captain.”

You mouthed the words thank you as you bolted up the stairs. You took them two at a time and rounded the broken foray doors to see the sunlight coming from outside. That door too had been completely smashed open with Luffy’s body.

The adrenaline in your veins screamed at you to move faster; be quicker. Your feet thundering onto the dock just in time to see Arlong holding Luffy up over the edge of the dock and…was that Nami?

“Nami!” You called out to her. “What are you doing?”

“Doc! Stay back!”

Each word that left Luffy came out choked and ragged. His hands weakly clamored at the grip Arlong had on his throat. Your eyes didn’t know where to look. Luffy who was in danger or Nami who…had a suspicious-looking tattoo that looked like Arlong in tattoo form and the Grand Line map in hand.

“What is going on?”

“A business transaction, girl,” Arlong chuckled. “Don’t be a pest and interrupt.”

“I wasn’t talking to you, asshole,” you snapped. You should’ve cared when the smile left his face. When he looked like he would throw you into the ocean along with Luffy. “Nami. I asked you a question.”

She turned on you then. Her whole body facing you as she gave you a shrug and a look so icy it could’ve frozen hell slid across her face. For all her show of hatred, however, she couldn’t hollow out the heartbreak in her eyes. Nami didn’t want you to hate her but she would make you, and you wanted to know why.

“What is it that you aren’t comprehending, Doc? I was sent to steal the map and bring it back to him. I’ve been a part of Arlong’s crew this whole time. I played you.”

You didn’t believe her for one second. Your friendship isn't something that could be faked. The way she cared and pleaded with Zoro to not fight Mihawk. She’d even pleaded with Luffy to run while Arlong was here and maybe…maybe it’s because she was running too.

“I don’t believe you-“

“Believe whatever you want. It’s not going to make a difference or make any of this less real,” she snapped.

She dismissed you by completely turning away from you and headed towards a Jolly Roger that held the same emblem as her tattoo. Arlong went to bite at Luffy’s neck and Nami called to him.

“Why waste your time killing a Devil Fruit eater when the sea can do it for you.”

No! “No!”

This time when the fear threatens to freeze you in place and to keep you from making that critical step forward, you don't hesitate to burst into a full sprint. Your words leave you in a rush.

“I’m a doctor! Do you hear me Arlong!? I’m a doctor.”

“Doc, no-“

“What good is a human doctor to me?” Arlong snarled in response.

You could hear the sound of his fingers releasing Luffy. The sound of his body edging closer to the lip of the ocean.

“Columnaria! Fish rot. I can cure it.”

That caused him to pause - for everyone to pause.

“How? You’re a human.”

“We had fishmen who served one of the wealthy businessmen where I lived. They would get sick and Naan- the healer would have to treat them. She taught me how.”

Cautiously you moved towards him with your hands up. If he did decide to not take you up on your offer and drop Luffy into the ocean you wanted to be close enough to jump in.

“I can treat any of your fishmen who are sick with it. I can teach you how to care for it yourself. But if you drop him into the ocean you’ll get nothing.”

It was easy to see how much Arlong hated that you knew how to cure a disease that killed fishmen like wildfire. A human. You bargained his men’s life for the life of your Captain and that seemed fair.

“Don’t do this, Doc.”

“I’m sorry, Luffy. I have to.”

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d failed Zoro somehow. You wouldn’t fail Luffy too.

Arlong took all of a second to consider your offer. He showed you he accepted it by dropping a very weak Luffy back onto the safety of the dock.

“I accept your bargain, human. Welcome to the Arlong Pirates.”

_________

As always, thank you so much for reading. Comments and reblogs are always welcome.

_________

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deans-queen · 3 months

Text

Bad at Love ❤️‍🩹

Prompt Idea: “At my worst, I worry you’ll realize you deserve better. At my best, I worry you won’t.”

Characters: Dean Winchester x Female Reader (Y/N) – mostly told in your (the readers’) P.O.V.

Summary: Dean and you have been close friends for a while since you started hunting with him and Sam. After a hunt, you and Dean get into a fight, then he gets vulnerable about his feelings towards you.

Inspired by the song: Bad at Love by Halsey

Warnings: SMUT, p in v (wrap it up kids), mature and sexual language. *18+ Readers ONLY please!* ( my best friend helped me with the smut parts )

Reader’s P.O.V.

“I really don’t need this from you Dean!” I shouted while storming into the bunker.

I walked quickly towards the room that Dean, and I were sharing.

Sam followed behind us, he was clearly irritated. “Will you guys stop already! This has been going on for an hour now.”

“Shut up, Sammy.” Dean said sternly. “And don’t you walk away from me damn it!” He roared while pointing at me. I got into the room and slammed my stuff down on the floor. Dean followed me into the room and shut the door.

“You’re being ridiculous! I can totally handle myself on hunts!”

“Yeah, cause trying to seduce a Werewolf and then getting kidnapped is handling yourself.” He said sarcastically.

I turned around and put my hands on my hips. “I thought it would work.”

He rolled his eyes.

He’s so damn stubborn, I can’t stand it.

“That’s not the point Y/N, you could have gotten yourself killed.”

“Well, we took care of that werewolf and still saved that little girl.” I sat on the edge of the bed and folded my arms.

I scoffed and muttered to myself, “I didn’t have this trouble when I was working alone.”

Dean turned back and looked at me with a shock to his face. “If that’s the way you feel sweetheart, then the door is right there.” He pointed at it and we both stayed silent for a minute.

I glared at him, got up and began to walk away. Tears were filling up my eyes, I guess my instincts were right about me and Dean. We didn’t belong together. Even though I have been crushing on him for a few months now it was obvious he didn’t have any feelings for me.

“Wait…” He said softly.

“What?!” I said harshly, turning around to face him.

“Look- I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know what came over me.”

“Why are you acting like this Dean? I mean…ever since that guy flirted with me last week you’ve been acting differently. I thought we were friends.”

“That’s the thing Y/N, I don’t want to be just friends with you…”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Listen to me, please.” He said softly while taking my hands. His beautiful emerald, green eyes went from anger to soft and sincere.

“The reason I’ve been acting like this is because over the past few months I’ve developed strong feelings for you. I tried to hide them as much as I could but I…I can’t get you out of my head. The way you walk, the way you talk…. the way your hair lightens in the sun, the way your eyes light up when you laugh. It’s all so damn sexy to me.”

I was too stunned to speak, after all this time he felt the exact same way about me. I smiled at him and touched his face. I stroked his cheek and his stubble tickled my fingers.

“I feel the exact same way about you Dean, I have ever since I met you.”

He smiled back at me while saying this, “And the reason why I got so upset with you about the hunt is because I don’t wanna lose you. I always make the same mistakes cause, I’m bad at love. I’m bad at expressing my feelings. It’s something I’ve struggled with since I was a kid ... I pushed you away because at my worst, I worry you’ll realize you deserve better and walk away like all the others have.”

I'm bad at love

But you can't blame me for tryin'

You know I'd be lyin' sayin'

You were the one

That could finally fix me

Lookin' at my history

I'm bad at love

“That’s not true Dean, I’m always going to stand by you. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” I nudged him while winking.

He touched my face and leaned towards me allowing our lips to collide. The kiss was soft at first, growing more passionate. His lips were so soft and plump. I pulled back looking at his face and kissed him passionately again, he started rubbing on my body and within seconds our clothes were off. He began to lay me down and he started kissing my neck down to my boobs, while grabbing them with his strong hands. His lips moved down to my belly button and shortly after his mouth reached my pussy. I gasped. Dean asked, “Do you want me to keep going?” I said “Yes please,” I said softly, while I shoved his head back down.

As he went on my pussy was dripping wet and I was getting more antsy to make love with him. I told him to stop and lay down. “Now it’s my turn babe.” I said. He smirked and said “Okay.” He looked up and down at my body calling me beautiful. “Your body is so perfect baby, and it’s all mine.” He growled. We switched positions and I began to climb on top of him, teasing him while rubbing his dick on my pussy. He said “Don’t tease me baby, I want you inside me” I laughed while slowly putting it in and we both moaned instantly. “Oh fuck!”, we both said while grabbing onto each other. I started bouncing up and down super fast. Dean told me to stop. He didn't want to cum yet, but I told him I wanted him to. I was so close to cumming and I didn’t wanna stop now. I began going back and forth hopping on his dick and I begged Dean to cum inside me. He smiled looking at me and said “Okay, baby.”

On the last bounce Dean and I came together while moaning in each other’s mouth and grabbing each other's skin. We sat there for a moment and Dean looked up at me and said softly “You’re so perfect”, while passionately kissing me again.

“I guess this means we are together now.” Dean said.

And I giggled, nodding in approval. I was so happy that he was finally mine.

Then we stayed in bed, cuddling and enjoying each other's company. All while eating cheese burgers …. and of course pie!

Authors Note:

Hope you enjoyed this story!

Feel free to let me know what you think!

Like & follow for more !! Xoxo

Check out my other stories!

Masterlist📝

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spoopydeboop · 4 months

Text

Hello, and welcome to…

Pointless Palia Head-Cannons!

This is a segment where my hyper-focused and obsessive brain will shower you all with all of the pointless very important head-cannons I have about the MMO Palia and its many NPCs!

Today’s topic is:

Which Palia NPCs can sing well and which ones simply cannot carry a tune?

Now, in the words of the famous Italian plumber, “Here we go!” (List below the cut!)

NPCs are listed in alphabetical order.

• Ashura - Absolutely yes, but in a very deep, sea-shanty / Gaelic tune way. He’s not the most technically sound, but his voice is very gruff and soothing. Absolutely sang his son lullabies every night.

• Auni - No, I’m sorry. Convinced that he cannot carry a tune AT ALL but thinks he can. Sings loudly with zero inhibition whatsoever. Gotta give him credit there!

• Badruu - We know this man was in a traveling Bard group, so he’s musically inclined for sure. I feel like he would have been killer backup and filler vocals and he can harmonize beautifully.

• Caleri - Doesn’t believe in fun, jovial activities like singing. (Elouisa informs you later that her sister can in fact not carry a tune at all.)

• Chayne - Absolutely. He’s naturally musically inclined, but part of his spiritual training involved learning to lead chants and hymns. Bass level vocals, v soothing.

• Delaila - Not at all. Where do you think Auni gets it? Part of what entranced her about Badruu in the beginning was his musical abilities. She’ll still sing along with a group and put her all into it though!

• Einar - The concept of producing a vocal stimulation to create a pleasing melodic sound is lost to the robot. But if it’s your Oneness, he respects it.

• Elouisa - Cannot sing, but definitely played clarinet in high school and was first chair!

• Eshe - No way. Cruella de Vil type vibes. She definitely was classically trained on the piano, but doesn’t often exercise the skill.

• Hassain - Can absolutely carry a tune and harmonize well! Definitely low baritone or higher bass in range. Can harmonize with higher ranges very well!

• Hekla - Her Jina often sings to herself as she works, but the ability and desire to produce a series of melodies is not within her rune programming.

• Hodari - Not the biggest fan of singing, but has a decent voice that comes off pleasantly gruff and southern. I imagine if Pedro Pascal’s ‘Joel’ from The Last of Us sang a slower, more reserved tune. (My other example was the dad cow from Back at the Barnyard that sings “I Won’t Back Down”… Let me know if that woulda been better or worse.)

• Jel - Definitely took vocal lessons with his sisters. Has a very pleasant and airy singing voice that is very technically sound.

• Jina - Doesn’t really sing much except for to herself. Massive stage fright on this one! Hekla says that her Jina seems happy when she sings, and that’s what matters.

• Kenji - Honestly? 100%, yes. Maybe like a broadway or an operatic voice. Doesn’t sing much but I imagine it would sound really jolly if he was a jollier guy.

• Kenyatta - YES! Doesn’t sing because she thinks it’s ‘lame’ (she gives me massive ‘too cool for school’ vibes) but has a delightful and powerful singing voice (kinda like the wolf Porsha Crystal played by Halsey in Sing 2.)

• Nai’O - Yes absolutely. Got his talent from his dad! He’s very shy when put on the spot though, so he doesn’t sing in front of people often — mostly when he works in the field with his animals by himself.

• Najuma - Not at all! But it’s okay because Najuma has zero desire to, haha. Kid is happy to be tinkering!

• Reth - On god, YES. Man has a beautiful and casual singing voice with a little rasp around the edges. Sings to himself while he cooks or gets really focused on something. I’m thinking “Feelin’ Good” by Michael Bublé, but maybe bit more rough around the edges.

• Sifuu - Not much of a singer, but I know our Muscle Mommy definitely has a few war chants or something up her sleeve! Lady can keep a beat for sure.

• Tamala - Thinks she can, but makes it way too sultry. You heard me. There’s such a thing as too much!

• Tish - Yes! Absolutely. She seems like she would 100% have like a Mandy Moore or Kristen Bell vibe. Very Disney Princess-esque!

• Zeki - Okay, honestly I think yes — but not in a conventional way. Kind of like Ashura; I think he would be great at singing like traditional Grimalkin shanties or folk-songs. Not very practiced, but he’s got spirit!

OKAY FINALLY DONE! I plan to do a lot more of these! Let me know if you have any suggestions!

#palia theory #headcanon #palia headcanons #palia tish #palia najuma #palia hodari #palia oc #palia open beta #palia reth #play palia #palia game #palia mmo #palia jel #palia hassian #palia #palia ashura

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romanoffsbish · 2 years

Text

You Belong…

Wanda Maximoff x FemPlusSize!Reader

Wanda Maximoff x Vision

Natasha x Reader x Yelena (Sisters)

Warnings: Red Room/Dreykov mentioned, alluded to past homelessness, Insecurities/Nervous stutter, unwanted male advances, Violence!!, Jealousy.

Chubby/Round Belly/Stretch Marks(non offensive, but warning anyways in case it’s not a positive for you 💋)

The insecurity warning isn’t really drawn upon by the reader’s size. Words like “chubby” were used as a descriptor, and I hope that’s not taken negatively because personally I find no shame in the term.

This one was a test of writers block for me, thank Halsey for being able to focus me 😂. I reread this one like 5 times in fear that parts seemed lazily strung together, I hope you all enjoy ❤️💋

10.6k words

Fluff times infinity, with the briefest moments of angst. Wanda’s heavily riding the simp train 💋.

Minors DNI! | 18 +

Smut: Choking, Teasing, Fingering(With rings 😉), Oral, Nipple stimulation/Food play, Strap-Penetration/Riding, Overstimulation/Hyperventilation (W) Nipple/Clit Stimulation, Magic: Phantom penetration, Daddy(R)

"Yelena, this is the last time I'm helping you with Valentina, you know how much I do not approve of your endeavors.," the blonde snorts, "Y/N Y/L/N, I do not need your help, I only acquire it because if I didn't you'd stay in our damn apartment all day long, and that's just not healthy, you need the fresh air too." You roll your eyes because the blonde literally set you up in an enclosed, abandoned building., "Yelena, I do all my hacking from home, it's called efficiency, and my work doesn't usually involve violence and death.," Yelena scoffs., "Well mine gets bad guys off the streets, a bit unconventional sure, but just as efficient."

——————————————————

"Yeah, yeah... I found your target, he's at a restaurant just up the street, and if these texts are correct he'll be headed to the Avengers compound next..." You pause, going over the information you'd pulled up, and find yourself confused., "Yel, are you sure he's a bad guy? If my sources are correct, which they are, he's —." The clearing of one's throat cuts your findings off., "A former shield agent turned well known Avenger who's now on track to retiring, he's a husband and father of three, oh, and the best friend of the one and only Natasha Romanoff."

You smile at the sound of the familiar voice, "Natty!," she chuckles as she catches you, and to your forever shock she spins you around., "Privet moy dragotsennyy angel.," she greets then settles you down with a kiss to your forehead, followed up by a glare sent Yelena's way., "Privet moy malen'kiy zasranets."

(Hello my: precious angel / little shit)

"What are you doing here sestra? It's such a pleasure." Yelena condescends, plopping down into your spinny chair as she flips her off., "Well, I'd been celebrating at my dear friends retirement dinner when I got news that a pair of assassins had been hired to take him out. You groan, "Natasha, I'm not an assassin..." and she deadpans., "You were raised with us in the redroom, and you're helping Yelena to find her hits, so really, you are one by all accounts." You sigh, then move over to help Yelena glare at her., "Why do you help her anyways?"

"Because, she needs to get out of the house!" You scoff, "Because Yelena is a codependent little shit, and can do nothing without me!" Natasha smirks at your correction., "Am not!," Yelena shrieks as she swiftly jumps up to her feet, her finger now pressing into your chest., "Are too! I'd actually leave the house on my own if not for all of your messes left behind."

Natasha humors your little bickering session, honestly, she misses being involved in them. Which is why she's a bit excited to talk to you., "Fine! I will prove it that I can be independent! I'm going home all by myself, and don't worry Natasha your precious Clint Barton is safe.," You hold back your laugh, knowing her truth is simply because you'd just wiped your findings.

"She went the wrong way, huh?" Natasha jests, and you turn to her with a smirk., "Good, I need to talk to you both, but to you first..."

—

Natasha stares over at you with wide eyes, wondering if you'll ever stop pacing around., "Y/N, I'm really sorry, but it's truly the best I could do." You stop pacing, pizza slice dangling from your hand as you stare back at your found sister. "Natty, I know, it's just, I don't see how I'd fit in with the whole Avengers squad, you're all so incredibly fit, and are amazing fighter's, and I'm just a half baked assassin with decent hacking abilities."

Sure, you grew up in the red-room, but as soon as your body began to defy the expectations of a widow you'd been tossed aside by Dreykov, the irony of the situation never lost on you. Had it not been for Natasha and Yelena you're certain he would've killed you, but having been drugged and thrown onto the cold streets of Russia with nothing to your name, well, or a name to even begin with, wasn't much better.

Hacking had been your primary focus in the program, you were always at the top of your class, and that was all that kept you alive throughout the rest of your formative years, and therefore most of your early twenties. Eventually, after many years alone, you had managed to track down both of your sisters; it was a bad time when you found them, but after all the fighting it was a joyous reunion for all.

Natasha went back to her life as an Avenger, and you took a freshly free'd Yelena under your wing, allowing her to stay in your spare room, and over time you somehow got dragged into her illegal workings, which had all lead you into this unfavorable moment.

"You're a skilled enough fighter, and really you'd just be our incredibly smart eye candy." Natasha teases with that stupid smirk, and you roll your eyes exaggeratedly as you plop down beside her with a heavy sigh., "Natty, it's just not a good fit, I don't think you've thought this all through.," Natasha sighs, shifting to face you with a much softer gaze, her hand lifting to cup your chubby cheek, and her thumb gently caresses your skin., "I promise I thought it all through angel, I'm bringing Lena on too, and you must know that required a lot of thought."

Natasha settles into the couch as you laugh so freely., "You just need to trust me angel, have I ever led you astray?," you instantly deadpan., "Okay, besides that one time at the bar, you really need to let that go." Natasha sinks into the couch at the resurfaced memory of your psychotic ex that she might've encouraged, or better yet drunkenly shoved at you.

Your incredulous laughter fills the space., "Natty, that psycho still calls me to this day, and I can't keep changing my damn number.," "What's wrong then? You're just that good! Now please, just say yes so I don't have to throw you guys in the slammer.,"

"You're lucky I love you Natalia.," Natasha cheers at your indirect yes, pulling you in for a bear hug that leads into a snuggle session., "See, when you stay at the compound on the rare occasion we'll be able to cuddle!," you giggle, then as you went to tease her for being a softy your apartment door slams into the wall.

"Oh my God! Y/N/N! Did you move the apartment again?!" Natasha looks down at you with furrowed brows and a growing smirk., "No Lena, you just got lost once again.," The blonde scoffs., "I am a spy, I do not get lost." You roll your eyes at the blatant lies, and Natasha clears her throat., "Lena, you have two options, go to jail, or become an Avenger."

Yelena laughs wildly, "Your jail can not hold me Natalia.," her spoon settles into the pot of mac and cheese you made for her, and she then douses it in so much hot sauce that it leaves the redhead holding you beyond speechless., "Yelena, we are Avengers now.," the blonde looks to you with suspicious eyes., "If Y/N is in, then so am I, she kinda needs me to survive."

"Yay! It's settled then my dearest sestras, you'll report to the compound with me tomorrow." Natasha instantly cheers, cutting off the fight before it could pick up, and you give her the satisfaction by taking the higher road, for now anyways...

——

Ten months into being an honorary Avenger and you couldn't be settling in any better, the team welcomed you both with open arms, and your wild stories about the normally private redhead had you quickly becoming everyone's favorite. Natasha had a massive soft spot for you so she'd let it slide, especially with how nervous you had been about joining the team.

Tony and you got along the best, he loved the new ammo given to use against Natasha, but even more so he really enjoyed setting up unnecessary barriers for you to crack through. He was in awe to have finally met someone on his intellectual level; he'd make something as simple as making coffee a task for you, so in retaliation one day you'd hacked into Friday.

For an entire week the men of the compound, excusing Bucky, were stunted when the AI was only able to speak in and understand Russian. Tony would manage to crack through a firewall just for another to keep him blocked long enough for you to reinstate the previously broken down one. Had it not been for Fury needing you for a mission one day it would've likely lasted for an indefinite amount of time. He still finds ways to mess with you, but he learned not to mess with your morning coffee, which saved him in the long run, and you too.

Like now, you were currently stood at the machine preparing a handful of thermos's. Today was your first on sight mission since their system was far too advanced for a long distanced hacking. This missions team had included both of your sisters, the Captain, and unfortunately for you, the witch who always left you a stumbling mess whenever she so much as greeted you in the compound kitchen.

Wanda Maximoff, she was the most beautiful woman you'd had the fortune of laying your eyes upon, but you being you made everything beyond awkward, plus she was dating Vision. The first time you'd met her, she introduced herself and shook your hand as was the polite thing to do. In return you stuttered her name back in place of your own, barely managing to meet her hand; she'd chuckled at your state, and offered a smile with eyes that appeared to be filled with pity, it was absolutely mortifying. Over time though the two of you had become good friends, she'd come to your girls nights with your sisters, unfairly worming her way into your heart, leaving you a hopeless mess.

Natasha entered the kitchen to make herself coffee, but then she smiled when she saw you already had, using the bedazzled thermos you made for her with her name and widow logo., "Good morning moy dragotsennyy angel.," she gleefully greets, then quickly spins you around to pull you in for a quick hug before releasing you to jump onto the counter across from you.

"Good morning sestra, did you sleep well?" You ask, then lift the bonus mug full of coffee up to her eye line, and she gratefully takes it., "Yes.," She hums in total satisfaction as the first sip of the preferred bitter drink warms her throat., "Are you ready for the mission?," you nod with a tight lipped smile to accompany, so she settles her now empty mug down to cup your soft cheeks, transferring over the warmth from her hands and you sigh at the simple affection.

"You'll do just fine.," she coos, and you look up to her with eyes full of worry "I know Natty, I'm just worried about all of you, also I'm kind of dead weight if anything were to go wrong." You whine when she pinches your cheeks, her eyes hardening., "Don't start, you're just as capable, shut it down, and be on the jet in ten."

Natasha then leaves the kitchen with her full thermos, running back in just to wink at you, and as soon as she's gone Wanda's entering. "Good morning Y/N/N!!," her smile was as bright as ever when she saw you stood there, and it only grew when you passed her over a new grey thermos covered in dark red glitter., "I-It's supposed to resemble your powers, that's why it's covered in beautiful swirls." you nervously rambled off, avoiding her soft eyes.

Wanda's heart skips a beat when she hears how you utter the word beautiful in comparison to her powers, nobody's ever said something so pure to her, and she's kinda glad it was you. Then when she realizes you made her tea instead of coffee she's near to crumbling, you were just incredibly thoughtful and attentive. Flipping the script she kisses your cheek in thanks, relishing in the warmth of your skin, and your nervous, spluttering thoughts.

"Thank you krasivaya.," She smirks as your eyes widen, and she takes a sip of her drink like nothing had happened., "Care to accompany me to the jet before we're late, and end up receiving the Captain's dreadfully long speech about time management?," you giggle and link your arm with hers, ignoring the way being so close to her makes you feel, and doing your best to keep the doomed butterflies at bay.

Natasha smirks when she hears you and Wanda entering the jet in fits of giggles, then Yelena ruins the moment with her screams as she receives her coffee, the koozie cut into a matching vest a beyond exciting sight for her. When you hand Steve his thermos covered in patriotic peaches he looks to you confused. Yelena's sudden cackling, and the others smirks a sign to him that there was indeed a hidden message, but he overlooks it as he's in mission mode. He thanks you then joins Natasha in the cockpit to get the jet flying.

—

"Stay safe!" You shout as they all exit the jet, heading off to raid the Hydra base you just disarmed, and you return to your setup to keep an eye on them through the cameras, helpfully offering them tips through the coms when you see something ahead that they can't.

They'd been doing relatively well, evading the guards, collecting all that they needed; it was honestly beyond your previous expectations, so when Yelena had deviated from the route and found herself cornered you had gasped., "Hello everybody, I'm in a bit of a cucumber.," she whispered into the comms, and you saw her getting thrown around right after.

"Yelena, what are you talking about?" Natasha grunted into her coms, the other three now engaged in a fight of their own, and even if they were available they were a floor up on the East side of the building, and so you were left with only one choice., "Nat, she meant a pickle, and don't you worry, I-I'm on my way right now." Wanda's heart skips and she gasps "What?," Natasha swiftly knocks the man before her down, then shouts into the coms., "Y/N no, stay on the jet, just tell us where she is!"

"I'm capable Nat, remember?," You awkwardly pant into the coms as you'd just been running, kicking the door in you make the short jaunt to your sister, finding her still upright but the clear staggering had you worried., "Yel, move." Hydra men stop to get a look at you, all of them sharing looks before their obnoxious, booming laughter fills the tiny space as Yelena hobbles behind you., "What is this? Your backup?" Yelena sneers, "No! She is just my beautiful sestra! She doesn't believe in violence."

The men smile deviously as your not so smart sister portrays you as incapable, and honestly, that might've been to your benefit as their egos doubled., "Look boys, now we have two woman to take back to the boss man, he'll be thrilled.," You grimace at the underlying meaning in his overtly lust ridden tone, and as they make a move towards you both you get into a fighting stance., "How cute, she thinks she can win.,"

You chuckle, patience having run thin ages ago, and just as one nears you lay him out with a simple kick to his manly hood, but he'd still managed to mar your face., "How rude...," Then you whip out your secret weapon, a loud whirring noise follows, and you vaguely hear Natasha scoff., "Hey, are those my batons?!," In quick succession you slam the electrified sticks into the sides of the other twos necks, then again into their backs and they crumble., "Give me your pistol." Yelena just giggles, you groan but make a quick move to snatch it from her, muscle memory kicks in and you shoot the remaining goon straight through the head without even glancing his way, then for good measure you off the other three.

Yelena looks at you wide eyed, and mouth agape, and you just smirk at her shocked face., "You-You just...," her spluttering is cut off by your cocky response., "Yes Lena, I saved you.," Yelena's face drops into an offended scowl., "Psh! I was just faking them out, I'm so fine." You shrug, "Okay, I'll see you on the jet then."

Yelena freezes, her pride leaving her stuck, because the truth is her legs felt like jello., "Wait! Come back!" She shouts into the coms, you giggle., "Say the words, and I'm yours.," Yelena whispers curses to herself in Russian, "Y/N Y/L/N, please come back, I need you.," She regrets it as soon as she says it, Natasha's inappropriate laughter crosses through the coms., "Ladies! Focus up, and get to the jet!"

The Captain's commands make you groan in annoyance, but you listen and scoop the blonde up, and she happily snuggles into your chest., "I'm sorry you had to leave the jet Y/N/N.," You shush her tired apologies, then cautiously make your way to the jet in relative silence.

You lay her down onto the medical bed, and give her an ice pack as that's all you could really offer her., "You're hurt...," you look over to see your blonde sister pouting over at you. It warms your heart to see her concern, but it's unnecessary, so you wipe her unshed tears., "I'm fine, you though, not so much, get some rest Lena..." and after another minute of her grumbling she gives into the exhaustion.

Once you'd settled down yourself, and your eyes had momentarily closed Natasha was rushing onto the jet in hysterics., "Y/N, oh my gosh, thank God you're okay... Wait, your face, what were you thinking?!" You caught her hands that were slapping at your chest., "Natalia! Knock it off, I was thinking our idiot of a sister was in trouble, and that all of you were too far away to get to her. It's a couple scratches, I got worse from the alley cats on the streets of Russia, stop being such a mom!"

The former assassins face drops at the mention of your time on the streets, but then she's beaming over your outburst., "Well, I guess I was right then, moy dragotsennyy angel was capable.," she then pinches your cheeks for emphasis, laughing boisterously when you shove her away right after. With a quick look back to the witch she turns to subtly wink at you, and you're far too tired to decipher what she's trying to say, especially when you look back to see that Wanda's menacing glare aimed at you. Your eyes were quick to close again, and the shaking of the jet lulls you to sleep.

—

Everyone else already left the jet, but Wanda graciously agreed to stay behind to wake you. She decided to sit and watch you sleep for a bit because the sight of you so peaceful made her incredibly happy. Then she saw the marks on your face, a reminder that you went into the Hydra base, and all the fear it filled her with, so all too suddenly she was making her way over to you without much control.

"Ow...," you groaned, hand flying up to rub at your forehead, your eyes slowly fluttered open to see the beautiful Sokovian woman who you were beyond smitten with staring back at you as if you'd killed her cat, causing you to gulp., "Wands, wh-where's everybody else?"

Ignoring you the woman heads to the back of the jet, magic preventing you from following, so you just sat there rather perplexed until she returned with the first aid kit, and then you couldn't breathe when she straddled your lap. Wanda's lips briefly quirked up when your breath hitched, and just to be a bit bratty she ground herself into you while seeming to be readjusting, and it took everything in you not to moan at the more than welcome sensation.

When she finally looked at you her gaze was back to impassive as she had silently began to clean up your eyebrow with some antiseptic. "Wa-Wands, did I-I do something wrong?," Her resolve was crumbling when your stutter began to resurface, it's not like you did this maliciously, hurting her precious detka and all.

Wanda sighs, her soft breath fanning across your face, and your lips tingle with a want., "You should've stayed on the jet Y/N/N, I could've flown to her you know...," then it hits you, she was clearly just worried about you, and that alone has you falling harder for her., "Oh, I'm fine Wands, I promise." Your attempt to convince her with a soft smile is futile when the next dab of antiseptic has you wincing, and tightly closing your eyes.

Wanda frowns, and the uncomfortable silence falls over the both of you once again, and it makes your entire body feel itchy, the idea that you'd upset the woman, and the corresponding anxiety entirely consumes you, and as per usual you find a way to say the wrong thing., "So, how's life? Vision treating you well?" When her entire body tenses above yours you're mentally cursing yourself for making her uncomfortable again., "Um, I'm so-sorry, I was just trying to cut through the silence, I-I didn't mean to make you more uncomfortable."

Wanda sighs., "I'm moving down to your lips.," Shockingly soft fingers trace over your busted lip, and you do your very best just to keep your breathing regulated., "Vis and I broke up.," Your eyes pop open, and Wanda's orbs actively avoided meeting yours, because truth be told she didn't want the sympathy they'd offer her, the anticlimactic break up was all her doing.

Her reservations about her relationship had actually started after she first met you, she'd felt this electric shock run through her body when she shook your hand, and so she tried avoiding you at first, but it was rather fruitless. Everything about you was far too alluring, the wit to rival that of the insufferable billionaires, that goofy smile that always made her own lips curl, your adorable laughter that never failed to make her stomach flutter and heart skip beats, then there were those lonely nights where your not so innocent thoughts would reach her and they simply drove her up the wall.

The robot just couldn't give her everything she'd needed, the love she held for him slowly transcended from romantic to simple nostalgia. Vision was sweet, and an overall good 'person', but so were you, and you just offered so much more, and she's been dying to explore it all too. But she also knew she had to be cautious with you, you'd been burned quite a lot in the past; you deserved to be loved properly, and she'd be damned if she didn't make sure to woo you.

Wanda finally met your eyes when she finished staring at your perfect, kissable lips, and as expected she saw your soft eyes, and her heart was a pile of mush, then she saw as a glint of mischief spark in them., "Do you need me to hack into his mainframe? I'm pretty sure I could make him punch himself at the party Stark will inevitably throw for us tonight?," Wanda threw her head back in a fit of bellyaching laughter, and you were quick to wrap an arm tightly around her waist, your hand settling on her lower back to keep her from falling off your lap, and if not for your spy training you would've missed the deep blush that spread up her neck, and onto her cheeks.

"No Y/N/N, it was actually pretty amicable...," She genuinely confessed, your warm smile had her swooning, and craving to keep you close., "However, I wouldn't mind one of your famous cuddle sessions to lift my lowered spirits, you kinda owe me anyways for scaring me today.," You chuckle at her finesse, as if she hadn't been near to cuddling you already, you hum in faux contemplation, and Wanda squeals excitedly when you wrap both of your arms around her in a silent confirmation of her devious plans.

"Tell me Wands, your bed or mine?," You lowly tease, and the beautiful, overtly flustered woman giggles into your chest,., "Mine is fine.," With the confirmation you're standing up, your arms adjusting to scoop under Wanda's thighs to prevent her legs from being left to dangle, her arms settle over your plush waist, and she takes advantage of this perfect moment to rest her head against your chest while you make the short trek to her room on the second floor.

Wanda reluctantly separates from your body when you reach beyond the door she'd flicked open, she looks away from you, cursing herself for having forgotten how messy it'd become., "Sorry for the mess.," Wanda moves quickly to brush everything off the bed and to the floor., "Psh, this is nothing, honestly, your room being like this is rather comforting. Perfect little miss Wanda Maximoff, the one who yells at us for not using a coaster is a secret slob, I can't wait to tell all the guys." Wanda glares over at you, the subtle tilting of her head makes you freeze, no words are said, they don't even have to be as you nod in complete understanding.

"Good girl.," She beams, then she throws back her covers, patting her bed and as soon as you touch down she's clinging to you like a koala., "Hope you live up to my expectations detka.," They were high too, based on word of mouth, but seeing as how you could actually do no wrong in her eyes you could probably just lay there like a brick and she'd be content.

Which is the current case as your brain works over time, continuously analyzing the use of the Russian pet name, because she has just called you baby, and you've been dreaming of this moment for months, but now you're lost. On the one hand, if she asked you out you'd say yes in a heartbeat, on the other hand, she's only just become single and you're almost certain your hope has you reading into the last hour; the last thing you'd want is to be a rebound. Her obvious displeased shuffling pulled you out of your spiral, and you pulled her even closer, and she groaned when your hand began to rub perfect, gentle circles into her back, working out the knots from the mission.

The warmth, and immense comfort having you close brought her was making the already tired woman slip in between levels of consciousness, and it was the most adorable thing you'd seen. Every time she'd close her eyes it would take her that much longer to reopen them, her lips would pucker, and nose would scrunch when she was obviously fighting the exhaustion, then her face would smooth back out, her plump lips would part, soft breaths tickling at your skin as she had slowly made her way on top of you.

Once Wanda had truly fallen asleep you still remained, holding onto her for a few minutes, and admiring her soft features; allowing her to reach a deeper state of slumber before you slip out—rather elegantly if you might add, you then covered her up before rushing off to find the trouble maker that is your eldest sister.

—

"You knew!" Natasha flinches at your sudden accusatory tone, but her lips quirk at the truth of your words as she flips the page of her book., "Shhh, Lena's recovering, use your inside—.," She squeals, effectively cutting her sentence off, then she's whining like a petulant child as you drag her out of the secluded room, and into the medbay hallway.

"Fine, I knew, but what is it you're referencing? That Wanda's finally single, or that you two are a literal match made in smitten kitten heaven?" Her smug smile made you scowl., "So, this is why you were being so sketchy then? All the looks, and the winking, what's your point?" Natasha smirks., "My point was you needed to make your move, and it seems to me you did."

With a confused mind you follow her eyes, you then use your phone to see that your neck has a smear of vibrant red lipstick, and your eyes widen., "No-o, Natty, it's not what you think.," Natasha deadpans., "Trust me, I know, but that doesn't mean it won't be happening tonight after the party though.," she teases with a wink.

"What's your fascination with getting me laid?" Natasha chortles rather boisterously, then she's cupping your plush cheeks, and settling her forehead against yours., "Angel, this time it's not about that, it's a bonus sure, but this is about you finally getting the love you fucking deserve, and I know the little witch will offer.,"

At the sound of your sniffling the big, scary assassin pulls you in for a tight hug, swaying the both of you in place until you're no longer wetting her shirt with your appreciative tears., "You better be right Natty, I won't survive if you're wrong here.," Natasha scoffs., "I'm never wrong—don't even start with the ex—just stop being a scaredy-cat, and ask her out."

With a final, tight squeeze she lets you go, using her thumbs she wipes away the residual tears, "I'll do it, or at least I promise to try.," Natasha nods with an encouraging smile, she knows you're being honest, and it's far better than you just shrugging her off altogether.

"After tonight I'm taking a much needed week off, then it's onto Yelena and the goofy archer." You shake your head as you head for the door.,

"Oh Natalia, vsegda tak effektiven v vashem vmeshatel'stve." Natasha shouts out after you., "It's my duty as the oldest sister, and just as soon as you're both settled down I'll finally ask Maria out." quietly mumbling the last part before shouting once more., "Go get em tiger!!"

(Always so effective with your meddling)

—

Wanda was disappointed when she woke up without you, but she also knew you'd be gone. Your thoughts were rather loud; detka might've been a bit rushed, but she just couldn't help to utter it when she was cuddled up close to you. Having you for the brief stint made her realize tonight was the night she had to make a move. Seeing as how you're the 'reason for the party,' she knew you'd be here, Tony would drag you here kicking and screaming to make sure of it. Even after ten months you still didn't like to go to the parties, staying in the shadows was your preferred mode of existence, and she never usually minded because she'd been able slip off to watch movies with you.

While she awaits your arrival she rushes over to the bar, her back to those working as her stool is turned to let her know you're here., "Wands, what's your mode of liquid courage?," Wanda turns to see the smirking redhead, an array of alcohol bottles in her hand, and two empty shot glasses waiting to be filled., "Is it really that obvious?," She grumbles while pointing to the expensive bottle of vodka, Nat offers her a reassuring smile while pouring. "Oh Wands, you two are disgustingly obvious. Y/N could hardly string a sentence together whenever you use to enter a room, and she still hardly can after all this time, plus she's never laughed so hard like she does with you.,"

Natasha pauses, handing over the booze, and they throw the shot glasses back with ease., "Then there's you, following her around like a smitten kitten, and ending a three year long relationship a few months after her arrival.," Natasha refills the glasses, and they clink in early celebration., "Why is she so oblivious Nat? Because I'm in deep and she just doesn't seem to get it, she didn't even know we broke up, she asked how we were doing as a couple as I was literally straddling her lap, and then I called her detka before quite literally laying on top of her as we cuddled."

Natasha hums thoughtfully as the next shot slides down her throat with a delicious burn., "Well, it's not enough to be an obvious flirt with Y/N, she requires a more blunt approach. To you the cuddling is a clear sign of your infatuation, to her it was a sweet moment with the unobtainable girl of her dreams.," Wanda frowns at the comment., "Her brain moves a mile a minute, and if Y/N's always been one thing it's an over thinker. Even if she gets to the conclusion that you're into her she's likely talked herself out of the thought a second later, as a mind reader I'm sure you've heard her."

Wanda's brows furrow at the insinuation., "Natasha, I don't intentionally read anyones thoughts.," Natasha throws a quick hand up., "I'm aware, but I also know from your training that you can't block everything out, and Y/N's thoughts are probably more like loud alarms.," Wanda cheers to that, because it's a correct inference., "Just promise me this one thing.," Wanda, though tipsy, straightens herself up and maintains a respectable eye contact., "Don't break her heart, I really don't want to have to fight you, but I will for my angel."

"No, I'd never do that Nat! I've felt more with her in ten months then I ever did with Vis, she is like my wildest dream come true, I love her." Natasha beams at the obvious confession, then she peers over her shoulder just in time to see you nervously stopped before the doorway, your hands fidgeting, and as if you were a conductor of a freight train Wanda's all aboard.

*If you turn around now, then you don't have to face any of the judgmental shield agents.*

*No! I belong here just as much as they do, I even proved it today.*

*Wanda's definitely there, probably looking beautiful in a pretty little dress... Maybe she's even waiting for me to show up...*

*Or Natty's just a deluded little freak, and I'm about to make a total fool of myself.*

*No, I-I need to at least try... Right?*

Wanda smiled endearingly at the way your nervous stutter transcends the verbal, she watched you step into the party with baited breath, and fucking hell did you look stunning. Wearing a pair of black flare pants with thin golden stripes running up the legs, paired with a silky, golden button up crop top that gave her the perfect view of your visibly softened skin. Your hands were adorned with stacked golden rings, and she was close to squirming at the thought of the cold metal digging into her skin with your fingers wrapped around her throat. She quickly frowned when the metal armed nitwit blocked her delicious view of you.

"Hiya doll, well don't you look ravishing.," Bucky greets, and your whole body tenses, the super soldier has been relentless with his advances, and though he's normally a nice guy you just can't respect his inability to read the room, or hear you when you turn him down., "Hey Bucky." You greet with a tight smile, and he pulls you in for a hug, his hand on your exposed skin makes you unnaturally nauseous, the glares casted upon you from various Shield women only makes your anxiety peak more.

*Nope, I'm out.*

Wanda rushes after you before Nat could even warn her that you were going to flee, stumbling as she was she still made quick work to reach you, and in a tipsy state of desperation she pounces on you, causing you to stumble into a cramped closet, she winced when you groaned as a broomstick plunged into your plush belly.

"Y/N/N, I'm sorry..." Wanda illuminates the closet in hues of red, her gaze falling to your clutched abdomen and without much thought her hands replace yours, her surprisingly cold fingers work wonders on the irritated skin,. "No worries Wands, I-I'm okay.," your hands settled over hers, and it was truly electrifying, but your warm smile is what really did her in.

Nerves wracked your body the longer you stood there in silence just staring at one another., "Wands, why are we in the closet? I've been out for awhile now, I never planned to return.," Wanda playfully rolls her eyes at your humor, but really she appreciates the way you had the courage to cut through the tense silence, all her planned words having died on her tongue once she touched you., "You belong here."

Your entire face scrunches in pure confusion., "Um... You think I belong in a janitors closet?," Wanda internally groans at her misconstrued message., "Noooo, I-I, you belong with me.," Your breath hitches, her words loaded, but not quite as dizzying as her feather soft touches. Lithe fingers slowly run across your stomach, tracing delicate lines over your stretch marks until her hands are softly gripping at your hips.

"I-It's a good song, really, but Red's her best album, have you heard Sad Beautiful Tragic?," Wanda's heart cracks, using humor to mask your fears doing nothing as your thoughts are screaming at you not to fall for this., "Y/N....," she whispers your name, her voice cracking, and it breaks your heart to know you're the reason for her slightly trembling lip., "Please, can you believe me when I say that I love you.," her head falls to hide the tears burning at the corner of her eyes, you can hear the sniffle, but the fear still overruled your heart.

"Wands, please don't say it if you don't...," Wanda's lips are incredibly soft as they land on yours in an attempt to cut your words off, using actions to convince your stubborn mind of the truth since her words just continue to fail her., "I love you, every single thing about you, you are perfect to me.. for me.. So stop running!" Her grip on you'd somehow managed to get even tighter, and your hands dropped to grab hers, pulling them off you, and her face fell.

Wanda was surely about to cry, but then your hands were interlocking with hers, and the sight of your warm smile filled her with hope., "Wanda, dorogoy, you know I don't run...," Joking aside she could see you were genuinely in when she looked into your eyes, and those loud doubts of yours had ceased to exist., "Fucking asshole...," She groaned, and you chuckled before pulling her back in for a sweet kiss that turned heated rather quickly, her hands traveling beneath your loose top telling you just exactly where this night was headed.

A shiver runs down her spine when your soft, near breathless chuckles fan across her neck., "Wanda, I will not be having my way with you in a stuffy janitors closet.," Wanda whined, her need to be touched by you had her impatient, so with her heels in her hand, and yours in her other she hurriedly pulled you out of the closet. With a clear determination on her face she was hurriedly pulling you off towards the elevator. Her foot was tapping impatiently against the carpet, the ding of the elevator doors failing to ring out, she had a mind about her to use her magic to speed the machine along. Luckily it was only a few moments later that the doors were opening and she was flinging you into the rig, leaving you to wonder where exactly it is that she stored all that strength.

Without any warning, much like before, she was pouncing on you, but this time you had managed to see it coming and caught her, your hands garnering a rough grip upon her lush ass. A pained groan leaving you as your back hit the hard wall of the elevator, only to then be swallowed by the Sokovian as her plump lips slammed into yours with an unbridled passion. Wanda's lithe hands found purchase in your locks, roughly tangling into your soft hair, and keeping her steady as you tenderly massaged the thinly covered flesh of her bottom.

Breathy moans a direct response to your touch leaving way for you to slip your tongue right into her mouth, making you successful in your need to deepen the kiss; to get a taste of her. Wanda hadn't thought she could feel more desperate, but every move you make proves her wrong, her hips now involuntarily grinding her against you as her need for friction had steadily increased., "Shit... Detka, are you packing?," she groaned, and you nearly lost the rhythm of the kiss as the urge to smirk overwhelmed you. Wordlessly though you had answered her, using your strong hold on her ass you slowly pushed her practically bare core flush against the clothed bulge as her dress had become bunched up at her hips at some point,. "Fuck!"

Wanda was thanking the stars that the elevator doors were finally opening, never in her life had traveling to the second floor taken so long, and she was even more thankful that you'd resolved to carry her to the room, because she's not sure she could've managed the walk alone. On the short journey to her room your lips had made a path of marks on their journey to her pulse point, biting into the skin you heard her suck in a harsh breath, swiping your tongue over the deep mark in an attempt to soothe her all the while one of your hands was wildly searching for the doorknob.

Wanda was beyond desperate for you, but when you went to open the door she began to panic about the pace of the night, she didn't want you to think she was trying to use you. Your hand was quickly encased by swirls of red, you pulled back for clarification., "Wait!," Wanda's eyes closed, and her nose scrunched up adorably, the sounds of shuffling from behind her bedroom door leaving you rather intrigued, then those beautiful green eyes of hers opened up, swirls of red still ever present. Noticing your lust blown eyes staring at her she smiled shyly with tinted cheeks., "Go ahead."

Wanda watched your face with rapt attention as you slowly allowed the door to creak open. Soft music was lowly playing in the room, the lights were dim, rose petals in the shape of a heart covered the once messy bed, and there was a fondue station set up beside the bed. Wanda's hands slid from behind your neck to cup your cheeks when you started to tear up., "Don't get me wrong detka, I want you to have your way with me, but I also want to woo you.," You shook your head while lightly laughing., "Consider me woo'd then milaya devushka., Wanda beamed, pulling you in for a quick kiss as she lowered her feet back to the ground, pulling you over to her bed she sits you down.

It was all so absolutely heartwarming, the soft humming in correspondence with the music, hips delicately swaying as she worked to get the chocolate warmed up with her back to you; it did wonders in reaffirming her earlier words, she loved you, she wanted you, and boy did it make your once doomed butterflies swarm. However, you were beyond aroused, and if you're being honest, you were ready to fuck her senseless, all the wooing could come after.

Quietly you rose up from the bed, fingers tracing over the sensitive marks you'd just left behind as you began to move her hair from behind her neck until it was draped over her shoulders., "You're so sweet Wands..." you coo, placing a gentle kiss to the nape of her neck that spurs on an adorable, surprised giggle, "Really, this is all so beautiful.," one of your hands that had been resting on her hip slowly rises up as you praise the woman until your fingers hovering over the zipper of her dress., "But fuck Wands, I'd be a fool if I didn't tell you how much I want to take this little red dress right off of you, to be able to make love to you until the sun rises, to finally get a taste you, because Wands, I've been waiting so damn long for you to actually be mine."

Wanda's hands were holding so tightly to the metal tray as you whispered your desires into her ear, the skin of her knuckles turning white, and her thighs were positively dripping with her never ending arousal., "Take it off then...," You lightheartedly chuckle, "Your wish is my command krasivaya...," taking the zipper in between your fingers you playfully twist it around before slowly pulling it down along with the fabric clinging onto her shoulders.

Her entire body shivers as you leave a trail of soft kisses down the column of her spine as her back is slowly revealed to you, your hands settling on her hips for stability, and you take a moment to admire her physique from below. Taut shoulder blades telling you just how tense the witch is while she is forced to patiently await your next movements. Traveling back up you leave a more scattered pathway of kisses, her muscles tense under the light touch of your fingers that had followed the trail of your kisses until finally reaching the clasps of her bra.

Your lips were incredibly tender as they continuously pressed to her bare shoulder., "Tell me what is it that you want from me pretty girl?," Wanda's entire body was buzzing with need, and there you were taking your sweet time., "Please Y/N, can you just fuck me already? Take it all off, and have your fucking way with me damn it, I-I just, I need you so badly...," Her bra hit the floor only a few seconds later, your arm then snaked around her body, a soft hand wrapping around her neck from behind, "Oh no, because when you talk like that all it makes me think about is edging you for days.," her breath hitched and you could feel the way the muscles in her throat constricted under your hand when she so obviously gulped.

Everything about the moment had you feeling empowered, because here you stood, the chubby little ex spy with an affinity for hacking with your hand firmly wrapped around the most powerful witch in the world's neck. Having her vanity placed directly across from your standing forms was a bit too dangerous. There was this look in her glazed over eyes telling you she's completely at your mercy, and your heart was beating wildly out of your chest along with the mind coursing with sinful ideas.

Wanda’s eyebrows furrowed when you winked at her through the mirror, followed only by a gasp when you’d applied the perfect pressure to the sides of her neck, using your secure hold to spin her around, her knees nearly buckle at the dizzying move, and her strangled moans were subsequently swallowed by your pillow soft lips. The moment was exhilarating for the young witch, to hand over such control to you, it had the knot in her stomach tightening. Feeling as her life literally resided in your hands, her body slowly succumbing to the effects of your deprivations; her once strong pulse, the one that had been racing beneath your fingertips only a minute ago was now but a faint thump for you to vaguely feel.

The tears that had been pooling in the corner of her eyes were now steadily rolling down her cheeks as you continued to deliciously deprive her of oxygen, your lips still passionately moved against hers even when she couldn't keep up, and when you were sure she couldn't handle anymore you finally let up on your grip. Wanda then stole the air from your lungs, literally as she gasped against your parted lips, and then again once you saw the fruits of your labor; black mascara streaked over her deeply reddened cheeks, angry red lines covered the entirety of her neck, and her lips were nearly doubled in size.

She was a vision; a true fucking masterpiece.

To see her so physically wrecked after barely touching her had you desperate for more, so you slammed your lips to hers once more, hands gripping her by the hips and with brute force you were tossing her back onto the bed. She had landed perfectly in the center of the mattress, the force of your throw causing her to bounce, and the impact further knocked the wind from her aching lungs.

While she lied there, exposed chest heaving uncontrollably as she fought to breathe you took a moment to just admire the beauty who was officially yours now, the marks proving it, and your eyes unashamedly trailed freely over her every single curve until finally landing on her slick covered thighs, and ruined panties.

"Fuck honey, you weren't lying...," your hands slowly slid up her thighs, when her dazed eyes had finally locked on yours you winked at her, with a continued bout of eye contact, and a firm grip you ripped her lace panties to shreds. Wanda's eyes widened when she saw you toss the pieces of her favorite pair of underwear to the side, but the brute strength you displayed had her dripping onto the sheets., "Shit!"

Teasingly you took a finger and ran it through her folds, collecting her arousal, and ignoring her whines for more as you instead brought it up to your lips so you could finally get a taste., "Oh, you just gave a whole new meaning to being my sweet girl...," you groaned out as her taste coated your tongue, your need to tease having very well faded now as you looked into Wanda’s pleading eyes, and so you pulled her down the bed by her calves until they were dangling off the bed, dropping to your knees, and after a deep breath you dove right in.

Wanda was beyond relieved when your mouth had finally landed on her lower lips, her hips began to move in sync with you, your tongue now working wonders on her sensitive cunt. She whined however when you held her down by wrapping your arms around her soft thighs, but then she was screaming in pleasure when a finger was circling her entrance then before she could plead for more you plunged into her. Wanda’s mouth fell open at the odd stretch, and it dawned on her that your gold rings were still on, and the feel of the cold metal rubbing against her walls was fucking thrilling.

Her orgasm being near wasn’t hard to detect, the violently thrashing against your hold was the clearest sign, her babbling the next, and so you sucked her throbbing clit in between your lips, feeling how it pulsed erratically beneath the tip of your tongue as you swirled around it, that additional pressure mixed in with the curling of your fingers with every single thrust had her thrown over the edge of bliss, the pit in her abdomen having unraveled, your palm and fingers were absolutely drenched.

Once her cunt had released its iron grip on your fingers you eased yourself out of her, eyes zeroing in on the way she continued to clench around nothing, and you were in absolute awe. You stood up, looking down on the woman as you sucked your slick covered fingers into your mouth, Wanda’s legs rubbed together in need as you moaned around your fingers, her eyes consumed by lust fell to the bulge in your pants, but you were now focused elsewhere so she fell back against the mattress in a huff.

"Looks like the chocolate is done honey...," Wanda lifts her head up from to see you stood their topless, and the words you had said no longer even registered in her mind, the only thing she could even think of was having your strap buried deep inside of her while she played with your marvelous tits. Next thing she knew your pants were off, the sizable strap springing to life, and the witch was squirming around in obvious need, meanwhile you were dipping a finger into the melted chocolate.

"Mm," you moaned, then dipped a strawberry into the bowl, collecting a heaping dollop of chocolate, and Wanda was absolutely shocked, whimpering even as you had trailed the excess chocolate over her nipples, then her mouth opened when you laid the strawberry to her lip, moaning as the tart, and sweet refreshing treat lubricated her dry throat, then again as your mouth attached to hers for a brief taste of the fruit, she tried to chase your lips as you pulled away but you moved down. She watched on through hooded eyes as you sucked the skin of her breasts into your mouth, leaving love bites all over the unmarred skin before giving her exactly what she needs by taking her nipple into your mouth, swirling your tongue around to collect the chocolate before sucking harshly on the sensitive nub, and getting a bit more than you'd bargained for as her back arches off of the bed and more of her breast is pushed up and into your mouth. While showing her other nipple the same kind of attention you had began to line your strap up with her entrance, and just as you bit down on her nipple, pulling a dazed moan from her, you fully thrusted the strap into her.

Abused walls cling to the thick strap that’s stretching her out beyond anything she’d ever experienced before, her hands were holding onto your arms for what seemed to be dear life as you hovered over her, giving her all the necessary time needed to adjust to the sheer size, and placing an abundance of soft kisses to her face for comfort., “I’m ready detka…,” You lovingly smiled down at her, lips softly meeting hers as your hips began to pull out of her to then slam right back in, catching the pained groans until they’d faded into breathy moans, with a few new marks made to her skin, and a perfectly applied pressure to her clit she was already drenching your cock. You fucked her right through the pleasure, with one arm you scooped her up, lifting her entire body off the bed, and into a bruising kiss as you shifted to where you were lying flat on your back instead.

Wanda groaned as you had plopped down, causing the strap to hit her at a completely different angle, you chuckled as she fell into you., “No no dorogoy, you’re going to ride daddy’s cock now.,” Wanda’s eyes widened, then they darkened as your self proclaimed title resonated somewhere deep in her soul. With your help she was back upright, her hands happily took their place on your breasts, and she was bouncing atop of you with vigor.

As much as she wanted to fall apart again she was more interested in seeing you falling with her, so while bouncing without reprieve she closed her eyes, swirls of red flooded your vision, and within a seconds time you were a moaning mess beneath her. Everything she felt you did too, the massive stretch of her walls was mirrored in your own pussy, whenever the tip stroked over that special spot inside her you were also seeing stars, the both of you moaned in tandem as your orgasms built up., “Fuck, you look so fucking hot riding my cock detka.”You manage to pant, you thrusted up in time to meet her sloppy hips., “ ‘m close daddy…,” you hum., “Mm.. Me too baby… Cum with daddy.,” Wanda’s body shook wildly as her high coursed throughout her body, it was the hottest thing you’d ever fucking seen, her hands squeezed your breasts tightly as she continued to bounce and suddenly you were gasping for air, the pressure that had been steadily building up inside you finally snapped, your arousal now dripping down your backside and onto the bed sheets. Wanda then fell forward, lips moving against yours lazily, low moans were being transferred as you both worked to calm down, your hips continued to move involuntarily, and in one swift move you were going at it again.

Wanda had become your rag doll, any position you could roll her into she’d happily comply, your belly was currently flush against her ass, your strap buried deep inside her from behind, and the room reeked of sex as you worked the Sokovian into what would be her sixth orgasm. Wanda was absolutely spent, but her desire to be handled by you was outweighing her need to stop, as you brutally rutted into her you felt the hilt rubbing against your clit, your nipples brushing against her back with every thrust, and you were panting wildly against her as you were nearing a breaking point. Your hand found purchase on your lovers overworked bundle of nerves, “Come with daddy angel…,” both of you fell into your bliss at the same time, but for her it was edging more on the painful side of the pleasure.

Her body shook uncontrollably on the bed, and her short, pained gasps for air had you worried. Hyperventilating, that's what she was doing, so you immediately pulled out of her, ignoring the way she seemed displeased with your choices, and you lifted her from the bed, and cradled her close., "Dorogoy, shhh you're okay," you coo'd while her free flowing tears rolled down your skin, but your heart settled lightly when she pushed for you to lay down, and nuzzled her face into your breasts. You continued to soothe her, a soft hand scratching at her back., 'M okay...," she mumbled against your chest., you placed a few thankful kisses to her temple., "Did so good detka...," she quietly added as her breaths had slowly returned to a softer pattern, and all the festering guilt had faded when she placed a couple of soft kisses to your shoulder.

—

Wanda's fingers that were mindlessly swirling over the skin of your shoulder comes to a stop, a long, drawn out sigh leaves the woman and then in the blink of an eye she's hovering above you., "I was thinking, and since you got to have your fun I think it's only fair I get my own chance.." You snort., "Oh, was that not fun for you?," Wanda blushes, looking away from you and that smug, ridiculously attractive smirk., "Stooop...," her whines only makes you laugh., "I'm serious Y/N/N, let me have my way with you.," just as she finally has your attention a loud set of unrelenting knocks on her bedroom door has both of you beyond perplexed.

"WANDA MAXIMOFF! Unhand moya sestra at once!!! There's a list of available days for her cuddling, and today was my day!" Wanda falls against you in a fit of embarrassed giggles, and you stifle your laughter into her bare shoulder., "I can hear the giggling! This isn't funny! Give her up or so help me God I will—."

Both of your curious gazes fall onto the door at the sudden silence., "Natasha! Put me down!," Natasha grunts, you can hear the clear struggle before she's shouting through the shut door., "Sorry, I don't know who exactly let her out of the medbay, but I will fill in for Y/N tonight.," Yelena groans, "No, you have absolutely no snuggle potential! Y/N, please, save me!!!" Yelena's dramatic cries for help fall upon your unreceptive ears; Wanda's loud, unrestrained laughter ends up being all you hear, and you can't fight the need to laugh along with her.

"What is this calendar, hm?," The underlying question isn't lost on you., "Just an organized system for my very popular cuddling services.," you offer up a vague answer, and she huffs., "Yeah? Whom exactly has booked a session?," In the most painfully slow way you fill her in., "Natasha..., Yelena... Tony...," you smirk., "Bucky's tried to book, but I always have a mission...," she rolls her eyes when you wink, and then you pause, enjoying the sight of her impatient glare, but also preparing yourself for her incoming reaction., "...Danvers has a booking for the end of the month..."

Wanda blinks a few times before chuckling., "Oh detka, that just won't do...," being smart you remain silent, staring up at her as she slowly lowers her body atop of yours, soft lips grazing over your cheek on their way to your ear., "I see the way Danvers looks at you Y/N, and there's no way in hell she or Barnes will ever have the luxury of cuddling up to you. Do I make myself clear?," your shaky breath and vigorous nod leaves her satisfied, "Good girl.," she faintly chuckles, her lips then briefly touch upon yours before moving on to explore.

Her lips were slow as they traveled down your body, her tongue graciously poking out to drag across the salty skin and enjoying how such simple touches could already have you so vocal. Hands gripped you tightly, your skin filling the gaps between her fingertips while she continued working you up until you were a squirming, panting mess, the same way she'd envisioned you to be in her mind countless times before. Painfully slow was the pace she settled on, her goal to cherish every last inch of you before giving in to the temptation to have you becoming a fucked out mess beneath her.

She smiled wildly when she settled between your legs, her cheek resting against your thigh, green eyes transfixed on the other while her finger mindlessly ran over the vast area of skin; a mind running wild with thoughts of how she'll have to dig her nails into your luscious thighs, forced into leaving behind deep crescent marks in an attempt to keep them spread open for her while she devours you because the pleasure will just be too much for you to bare, and in the end she imagines she will have to use her powers to hold you down.

She truly doesn't understand where her own patience is coming from, because once her eyes take in your slick covered core she has the urge to start now, to just forgo her other course of action, but she remains strong; leaning in she breathes your unique scent in, then she slips her tongue out, applying the slightest bit of pressure to your mound as her lips graze over, and a layer of your essence paints her lips., "Fucking hell detka, I can't believe you've left me deprived of such a sweet taste for so long..."

The pitiful whines leaving your lips as Wanda vacates the bed has her staring at you amused, with a awfully devious smirk to accompany. Your curious eyes follow her as she settles before her bedside drawers, hands discreetly sorting through the mystery contents for a bit. Wanda cheers when she finally finds what she's looking for, smirking over at you, your eyes fall to the red silk tie in her hands and then she's stalking back towards the bed with dark eyes., "Hands up moya lyubov', this is going to be a long night, the sun won't be up for hours...

——————————

10,678 Words

❤️ Kaitlyn 💋

#natasha romanoff #yelena belova #wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff oneshot #wanda maximoff pov #wanda maximoff fic #wanda x y/n #wanda x you #wanda x reader #wanda x fem!reader #gxg #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff fluff #wanda maximoff smut #wanda maximoff x plus size reader

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ageless-aislynn · 3 months

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Aislynn's Jumble of Random Thinky Thoughts on Halo s2 ep4 "Reach"

SPOILERS, but of course

Cpt Admiral Keyes went out like a total badass. I really do hate to lose him but I'm glad he got a better send-off than he did in the game (Halo: Combat Evolved). Seeing him with a pipe was an awesome little callback to the game, IMO. (Though smoking is bad; don't smoke, kids! 👎😬😉)

The fact that The Powers That Be took Silver Team's Mjolnir with them as they ran like cowards evacuated but abandoned actual Silver Team is the most realistic bureaucratic part of the episode. 🙄

I suspected Louis wasn't going to survive but him losing Danilo and then choosing to make that stand immediately after was both heartbreaking but bittersweet: he couldn't live without his beloved and his sacrifice gave John and Riz a chance to escape but also ensured that he didn't have to live long without his beloved. 💔

My Halo vehicle fangirling was cranked up to 117% 😇 here, with me pausing the show to yell, "WRAITH, IT'S A WRAITH! I love hijacking those things!!!" and then "SCORPION! A SCORPION TANK! Aw, man, I do BUSINESS when I have a Scorpion!" *wistful, lovestruck sigh* 💖 Please imagine my dad's 🤔⁉️ face during all of that, lol! 😇

John, my beloved, and Scorpion tank, my beloved... 😍🤷‍♀️😇😉

I was legit upset that Kai was gone the entire ep, not just 'cause I wanted to see her, of course, but because it seems an awful lot like she abandoned her team and that just doesn't seem like her at all. I know last ep she was very torn and upset about John and not really believing what he was saying, but also not wanting to narc him out, either. When she finds out what happened to Vannak, I think she'll blame herself for not being there and, honestly? I think she should. (Same as she should feel bad about not believing John, evidence to the contrary.) Not saying she could've prevented any of the bad stuff, of course, but she wasn't there when Silver Team desperately needed her and if they don't have her feel guilt over that, then that's really going to be OOC for her, IMO. 😔

And then of course, the "two" of the "one-two punch" from this ep... Vannak, nooooooooo! I was completely not expecting to lose him here but I really should have, considering we're straight up doing a version of Reach's game storyline and, as we all know, Noble Team didn't make it out of the game alive (other than Jun).

And yet still... Vannak! Not when he's just learned to love animal documentaries and feeding the birds! The big guy had so much more living to do!!! 😭😭😭 I'm going to really miss him and I'm going to completely ignore his death in any fanfic I ever again write, I'm just saying. 🤷‍♀️😉

Are we feeling like Soren will be getting a place on Silver Team, at least temporarily?

Okay, so I was a little surprised but in a good way over how hard everything about Keyes hit Halsey. She was genuinely kinda tongue-tied at seeing him, then her absolutely screaming at his death and her sobbing... I wasn't expecting that sort of reaction. She really did love him and I wouldn't have thought that before this episode.

I feel vaguely like John's ex just kidnapped his current girlfriend, lol. Also, I keep staring at Makee, thinking, "Is her hair a different blonde? Is she dying her eyebrows or something?" more than anything else so I really need to get over that, lol! Annnnnd I could kinda ship her with her Arbiter but nobody should be surprised at that 'cause I can ship a character with a mop that has a wig and googly eyes on it if the chemistry feels right to me...

I could also see not-Thel!Arbiter as being a suuuuper jealous boyfriend trying to prove he's better than Makee's ex... *shipper glasses, I has 'em at all times!* 😜😉

Since Makee didn't let her Arbiter (whose name is escaping me at the moment) go ahead and kill John, one wonders if it was because she does still have feelings for him or if she just needs him for some later nefarious purpose. And why does she need Cortana? I'm still wondering if we're going to get some sort of "evil" Cortana ala Halo 5 since her new look reminds me a lot more of her Halo 5 look.

This is a still, not GIF, from Halo s2 Cortana's new look, so you don't wonder why it's not moving. 😉

Halo 5 "evil" Cortana.

And you can see s1 Cortana in the GIF right above all of this.

Annnnd my favorite version of Cortana...

Halo 4 Cortana, whom I imprinted on as my very first Cortana, so this is her definitive look to me, what can I say? 🤷‍♀️😉

And bringing things back to the episode once more, I also had a game fangirling moment when John yelled, "Frag out!" as he lobbed the grenade. My dad soon learned that the marines tend to yell that as they're lobbing frag grenades in the various games, too! 😎

Ooo, and almost forgot John's absolute panic eyes when Keyes called him forward during his inspirational speech, lol. Poor Chief, d'aww! But that was a really great moment to show people that Master Chief isn't a robot, he's a flesh and blood person, and I think that was used to great effect in this moment. 💖

In summary, this episode had me

💖

#halo #halo the series #halo paramount+#spoilers #halo spoilers #master chief #admiral jacob keyes #captain keyes #vannak-134 #silver team #kai-125 #cortana #makee #not-thel arbiter #i am in a glass case of emotion #ageless aislynn

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crossbowandwitches · 13 days

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What Should I Say? (Fred Weasley x OC)

A/N: Hi! I'm so sorry for the long wait, I was so nervous to carry this on, as this is the first story I've ever actually put out. Hope you enjoy the next part though!

Summary: In the bustling streets of Muggle London, Fred Weasley, known for his mischievous charm and quick wit, stumbles into an unexpected encounter that will turn his world upside down. At an ordinary acting class, he finds himself face to face with the enigmatic Delphine Howard, a woman who seems to have stepped right out of his dreams. However, he soon comes to a heart-wrenching realization: the love he's found in Delphine is a love he can never truly have. Or can he?

Warnings: Use of alcohol, swearing, but eventual smut, angst, stress etc.

Chapters 1 & 2

Word Count: 1540

Chapter 3: Delphine’s POV

I really disliked taking the tube after 8 pm, especially on a warm Friday night, and particularly on the Central line. It always reeked of alcohol or sweat, or both, since this line barely had air conditioning and it was still 23 degrees outside.

I put on my headphones and immersed myself in my favourite album, "If I Can’t Have Love I Want Power" by Halsey, as I embarked on my 15-stop journey from acting class to home.

My phone buzzed, and I saw a message from Russel: "Five Guys tonight?? x" Russel is my boyfriend, although it's complicated. The last thing I wanted was to entertain him tonight. Fridays were always the worst in the office, with endless weekly updates and making sure everything was sorted for the weekend, so I didn’t have to work over the weekend.

"I'm too tired tonight! x," I replied. Instantly, he sent me a sad face emoji. I should be used to this by now, the way he makes me feel bad because I won’t put out for him. He can be a dick, but I always end up going back to him because it's easier than trying again with someone new.

"Next Stop: Bethnal Green Station," I barely heard the announcement over my headphones, but then I realised I was one stop away. I grabbed my bag and made my way to the exit - not before accidentally hitting someone with my bag.

"Shoot, I’m so so-," I looked up and realized I had hit Fred Weasley, the tall and lanky redhead from Wednesday’s acting class.

"Delphine! Delphi!" He quickly corrected himself, knowing I’d prefer to be called Delphi. "Hey! How are you?" he asked.

"I’m good! I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you. Are you OK?" My cheeks were going red; I could feel it. I was embarrassed!

“It’s all good, hah!” He reassured me with a little smile. "Are you heading home?" I realized then that I was pulling into my stop and panicked - I didn’t want this chat to end, and I didn’t know why.

"Yes! Oh god, this is my stop! It was lovely to see you." I offered him an apologetic smile before saying a quick goodbye and hopping on the train. I quickly turned around, and we waved at each other.

“I’ll text you!” He shouted out before the doors closed between us. Something about that comment made me excited.

Why was my heart racing? It’s just this tall guy from my acting class, this tall, ginger guy, this tall, handsome, cute- I stopped myself from thinking like that. He’s my student, I’m his teacher and that’s that.

As I came round the corner to my flat, I saw Russel standing outside and instantly dreaded coming home. Russel was around 5’8, with shoulder length brown hair. He wasn’t unattractive, far from it. He reminded me a little of Jake Gyllenhaal.

I let out a deep sigh as he came over to hug me, “Did you not see my text? I’m tired. Go home please.” He went in to kiss me and I instantly moved my face away.

“Oh come on, Delphine. I brought dinner.” He grinned and held up a Five Guys takeaway bag, “Your favourite!”

I shook my head, “It’s /your/ favourite.” I headed up the two flights of stairs that lead to my flat with Russel following suit. “I’m really not in the mood tonight. Let's just plan something Sunday, please?” I pleaded but he was in the door the second after I unlocked it.

“I’m here now, gorgeous. Come on, don’t be rude to your guest!” He shouted out, he was already heading to the kitchen to find drinks, probably something alcoholic.

I let out an internal scream before kicking my Converse off at the door and locking it. I wish I was still on the tube with Fred.

Chapter 4: Fred’s POV

As the train pulled away, I just couldn’t stop thinking about her. Was it wrong that I was thinking about her like this?

“Fuck it.” I muttered to myself before pulling my phone out and the business card she gave me. I saved her number and sent her a quick text, ‘It’s Fred, from acting class. Hope you got home safe.’

The train finally reached my stop, and I stepped out into the busy station. I was heading to a party that George invited me to, he practically forced me to come. When I arrived, it was already packed, with music blaring from speakers, and people dancing, laughing and chatting in every corner.

“There you are, Freddie!” George was already ushering me over to a group of friends before I had a chance to breathe, “Come and meet my friends.”

I constantly checked my phone and I could see George giving me weird looks, no way was I going to tell him why, but I must have been three drinks down when Delphi texted me back;

‘Hey Fred, thanks! I got home safe :)’ I was grinning ear to ear, but instantly stopped myself when George came over.

“Who you texting?” He asked, one eye raised. He was onto me.

“Huh? Nothing.” I was bright red, George wasn’t going to let this go, so I popped my phone into my back pocket and went back to the party.

By the time I decided to call it a night, it was well past 2 am and I had quite a bit to drink. I called George and me an Uber since neither of us was in a position to get any form of public transport.

When we finally reached my flat, it was already 3 am. I fumbled with my keys, eventually managing to unlock the door and stumble inside. I collapsed onto my bed, my head spinning and my thoughts instantly on Delphi.

Without even thinking, I grabbed my phone and texted her back, ‘Hey Delphi. Just got back from a party. Hope you had a good night. See you in class. :)’.

“Shit!” I shouted, almost throwing my phone across the room. “Why did I do that?!” I took a deep sigh before popping my phone down. There was nothing I could do about it now.

Chapter 5: Delphine’s POV

Russel was already rummaging through my kitchen cabinets. "Where do you keep the wine glasses?" he called out.

"Top shelf, left side," I replied, trying to keep my voice steady. I followed him into the kitchen, feeling the weight of the evening pressing down on me.

He found the glasses and poured two generous servings of white wine. "Here you go," he said, handing me one.

I took the glass but didn't drink. "Russel, I really am tired. I just want to relax tonight."

He took a sip of his wine and leaned against the counter, looking at me with a mix of frustration and something else I couldn't quite place. "You always say that, Delphine. When are we going to spend some real time together?"

I sighed, setting the glass down. "It's been a long week. Can we just plan something for Sunday? I promise I'll make it up to you."

Russel's eyes narrowed. "You always say that too. I'm starting to think you don't want to spend time with me at all." …I wonder why.

“I don’t want an argument tonight, Russel.” I said sternly, “Please, go home.”

“God, Delphine. Fine!” He practically threw his glass into the sink, “I’ll just get it somewhere else…” I wasn’t surprised to hear him mutter that under his breath - this is what he did.

“Yeah, you do that.” I said as I was practically shoving him out the door and slamming the door in his face. I know what you’re thinking, why is she even with this dude? I ask myself this daily, weekly, hourly. It’s like a form of self-punishment, I just keep crawling back.

“Now that he was gone, I can get on with my evening,” I said to myself as I unpacked my work bag and plugged my laptop in to charge. I rummaged around the bag for my phone and saw I had a text message from Fred.

When he said he’d text, he meant it - a man that actually delivered. -

I very rarely check my phone when I wake up, I’m usually rushing to the bathroom or prioritising a coffee first thing. I also don’t set alarms most of the time, I always wake up around 6.30 am, and this morning wasn’t any different.

I was mid coffee-making when I heard my phone ringing. I didn’t make it back in time to get the call but it was from Russel, no surprise there. He probably hadn’t even gone home yet. I also saw a text message from Fred and chuckled to myself - a drunk text!

‘Hey Fred, hope the hangover isn’t too bad, see you Wednesday!’ I was debating inviting him to Monday’s class, it was a smaller class, with more experienced actors which wouldn’t be a bad thing, but he’d probably be even more out of his comfort zone.

I put my phone back and got on with my morning - there was no way he’d text back until this afternoon.

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happilychee · 6 months

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songs I associate with fairy tail characters but it gets more and more random pt.2

zeref dragneel -> fairytale by alexander rybak

LISTEN I KNOW THIS ONE IS BASIC. but sometimes basic is best. zeref loves mavis and ultimately it's what kills both of them :,))

sting eucliffe -> livin' la vida loca

yes I'm including sting again bc he's babygirl. he so flirts with guys at the bar and drives them crazy. he stops by an inn during a mission and becomes the life of the party with his sweet charm. ironically, if you flirt back with the blonde and you really mean it, he'll turn to putty in your hands.

erza scarlet -> I am not a woman, I'm a god by halsey

erza is so. so. she's this song because everyone else deifies her. "I am not a martyr, I'm a problem. I am not a legend, I'm a fraud." erza isn't perfect, but she's aware of her reputation and that makes her act a certain way. she doesn't feel as free to express herself, and the amount of praise she gets for her fighting prowess often makes her feel like a soldier.

lucy heartfilia -> akasaka sad by rina sawayama

another lucy one, as a treat. "cuz I'm a sucker, sucker, so I suffer. akasaka sad, just like my father." specifically about lucy's complicated relationship with her parents (mostly her dad). there's so much distance and time between them, but she can never fully recover from the effects her childhood has on her. part of her will always be a sad, crying little girl in the corner of the library, hiding from her father.

alzack connell -> disko boy by shantel

specifically when he's pining after bisca. bisca is outgoing and fun and friendly and she loves to dance. alzack is shyer and prefers quieter, more personal activities like reading or drawing. he's never liked having the spotlight on him, but the way bisca lights up when he asks her to dance makes the embarrassment fade away, replaced by fuzzy warmth.

gray fullbuster -> dodomu by kalush (feat. skofka)

gray is soooooo ukrainian to me. he would shred on the dance floor doing gopak. also dodomu is about never forgetting where home is, and gray never forgets about ur, lyon, or deliora. even though fairy tail is his family and his home, he always remembers and honors where he came from by making traditional dishes and wearing traditional clothing. gray in a vyshyvanka and sharovary??? on the floor rn.

jenny realight -> bijin by chanmina

it just. fits. u can't expect jenny as a model to not have thoughts on how women are treated because of their looks. she will scream the last lines of bijin because it's cathartic.

lisanna strauss -> maggots by ashnikko

I think lisanna has a lot of pent up rage. she's had her life and identity reinvented so many times, she cannot be normal. she usually lets her anger out during missions with juvia and gajeel and lily or during sparring matches with mira (elfman refuses to fight her, understandably.) still, if you piss lisanna off, she will verbally tear you a new one. you didn't know such horrible words existed until lisanna cursed you out with them.

laxus dreyar -> kotik by alexander rybak

yes, another alexander rybak song. this one only makes sense if u put it in the perspective of laxus searching for an exceed. then it's hilarious.

#lychee writes #the gray one is so self-indulgent LMFAO #the laxus one too #a lot of angrier songs in here #and overall angst #...oops #fairy tail #fairy tail headcanons #zeref dragneel #sting eucliffe #erza scarlet #lucy heartifilla #alzack connell #gray fullbuster #jenny realight #lisanna strauss #laxus dreyar

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ghostradiodylan · 2 months

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What type of music would the counselors listen to?

I know some of my mutuals have answered this question before and I'm sure my headcanons will be influenced by theirs, AND I'm also significantly older than the counselors so they're probably listening to gen z stuff my late millennial ass doesn't even know about but here goes nothing!

Laura So much SIØBHAN! Just kidding. Laura feels like two completely different characters in the game so I have a hard time deciding what I think spunky but straight-laced, ‘this is my first cop,’ over-achieving pre-vet student Laura Kearney would listen to vs badass avenging murder spree Laura Kearney (but maybe she always had that inside her). Part of me wants to say, like, 80’s pop (Prince, Blondie, Tiffany, Michael Jackson, Pat Benetar, etc.) and part of me wants to put her in the hard rock/metal zone with Ryan. Maybe she’s a bit of both.

Max I believe it was Addie (@insertlovelyperson) who said Max would listen to country music where women murder their cheating or abusive husbands. That tracks to me. Maybe it's the use of Alma Cogan's version of 'Fly Me to the Moon' in the game, but I also tend to associate him with crooner type singers of the 40's and 50's (Frank Sinatra, Perry Como, Dean Martin, etc), which is what I said he'd choose for karaoke. And because of this fanart I have no choice but to HC him as a major Ariana Grande fan, he's probably the one who chose the music for the drive to camp. So. Max has range.

Abi is the K-Pop/J-Pop stan to me but I know so little about that music beyond the crossover bands like BTS that I can't speak to it a whole lot. I think she'd also like some emo, pop-punk and moodier alt/pop. Avril Lavigne, Paramore, Melanie Martinez, Florence and the Machine, Metric, Lorde, Halsey, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Billie Eilish, Phoebe Bridgers/boygenius, etc. I feel like she's really into female fronted bands for some reason.

Jacob likes pretty much whatever is on the radio. He's a top 40 guy and has no shame about his enjoyment of Ed Sheeran and Justin Beiber, or about ugly crying to Taylor Swift and Coldplay. He rarely listens closely to the actual lyrics (and often gets them humorously wrong), he just goes on vibes. He discovers half the music he listens to via TikTok (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Emma is a theater kid through and through and loves broadway musicals. She goes through phases with each popular one. She's had a Waitress phase, a Mamma Mia phase, a Wicked phase, and a Hamilton phase, of course, and now she's into Mean Girls, Heathers, and Hadestown. Beyond that, I think she'd be a dedicated Swiftie, big Adele fan, and a lover of Britney Spears's entire body of work from the 90's through today.

Nick probably listens to stoner bro music. Like jam bands and psychedelic rock and stuff. He probably likes Dave Matthews Band and the Grateful Dead/Dark Star Orchestra, Sublime, Widespread Panic, Tame Impala, and O.A.R. Googling jam bands to remind myself which ones exist led me to the knowledge that there's an Australian psychedelic rock band called King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard and that name is so bonkers that I've decided without listening to more than a few bars that it has to be Nick's favorite band.

Ryan is a little bit emo and a little bit goth and a little bit old school punk. He needs music that's loud and moody to help sort out his feelings about life and drown out all the excess noise inside his head. He's into metal, the harder side of emo/screamo, goth rock, hard rock, punk, and post-punk. He definitely listens to Nightwish, GOJIRA, Mastodon, Lacuna Coil, Linkin Park, Rage Against the Machine, Bauhaus, Joy Division, Nine Inch Nails, Deftones, Thursday, Alkaline Trio, My Chemical Romance, AFI, Bad Religion, Black Flag, Minor Threat, The Misfits, Ramones, etc. He doesn't hate more accessible pop and rock music, but the closest he gets to choosing it for himself is probably something like The Cure or The Smashing Pumpkins or Depeche Mode, maybe some of the creepier Weeknd songs and Muse tracks too heavy to go on the Twilight soundtracks. He and Abi listen to Babymetal together.

Kaitlyn classic rock and 90's alternative. This girl likes the Stones more than the Beatles, though she'll listen to both. Led Zeppelin, Joan Jett, Pink Floyd, The Doors, Black Sabbath, the occasional hair band. She especially loves the 90's girl rockers like Alanis Morisette, Garbage, Hole, Veruca Salt, and No Doubt (Kaitlyn can't believe Gwen Stefani is married to pop-country dork Blake Shelton who sings that song about being your honey bee, because Gwen used to be so cool [I'm definitely not projecting]). I feel like she'd also love Bikini Kill and Sleater Kinney, Le Tigre, and The Donnas.

Dylan is the Music Guy ™ (and my personal bias/url namesake), so I've admittedly thought about his musical tastes more than most of the others'. The official Quarry website mentions his 'deep musical knowledge' and I imagine he has pretty broad views on what constitutes good music. He's got kind of a vintage vibe to him, maybe it's the reproduction band shirt from 1988, or the fact that he's into analog technology, or both, but I've noticed he's often depicted playing Queen or Bowie or something of that era in fics, which I think is realistic. This kid goes to the used record store and just buys whatever looks cool.

Fun Fact: According to the datamine, the chapters originally had literary or musical quotes at the beginning of each, and Chapter 5: White Noise (the radio hut chapter) was originally headed by the opening lyrics from Queen's 'Radio Ga Ga':

He's also the only character we see play music in canon, so we know he likes... songs from random compilation albums with inexpensive royalties. XD Just kidding, but these are the diegetic (in-universe) songs we get to hear from Dylan's playlist at the bonfire party:

All pop music of varying subtypes, so we know he appreciates a well-crafted pop song. I honestly am a fan of all of these. I think Dylan genuinely listens to everything but he seems like the type to especially like alt and indie pop, classic rock, garage rock, a bit of the more melodic side of punk, emo, and pop-punk, new wave, synth pop, electronic, and a little bit of hip hop that’s sufficiently nerdy white boy friendly (probably Beastie Boys, Run the Jewels, Post Malone, emo rap like Blackbear, etc). I also tend to gravitate towards early-mid aughts indie for him, like MGMT, Arctic Monkeys, The Strokes, OK Go, LCD Soundsystem, etc. Just seems to match his vibe. I think he'd really like BØRNS, Hozier, COIN, Mitski, and K.Flay and probably have a fair amount of overlap with Ryan's more melodic picks (MCR, Muse, The Cure, etc). Dylan probably hates Morrissey but begrudgingly loves The Smiths and definitely cranks up The Killers in his car. He’s also listening to bands right now that you’ve never heard of but will be huge in a couple years. He can probably tell you the difference between subgenres like chillwave, dream pop, and shoegaze but don’t ask me about it because I have no fucking clue.

Since we’re on the subject, here’s my absurdly long and ever-growing Rylan/Radioheads playlist because I have a problem.

And my Sweet Summer Jams playlist, that’s just a bunch of random songs I think would be clean enough to play at a summer camp as long as the kids/your boss don’t ask too many questions.

#the quarry #I just really love music okay #one of the many reasons I relate so much to Dylan #I don't actually listen to every artist mentioned but... a lot of them yes #I spent way too long on this #hacketteer headcanons #Hackett’s quarry radio hut #dylan lenivy #ryan erzahler #kaitlyn ka #abigail blyg #jacob custos #emma mountebank #laura kearney #max brinly #nick furcillo #ask bunny #hello beautiful anon #bunny blathers

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bloodgulchblog · 3 months

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Have you seen that YouTube video where some guy reads every Halo novel back to back and then reviews them? If so what did you think

The Brian David Gilbert one? Oh yeah, all my friends showed me it when it came out. (It was honestly kind of cute seeing how many people thought of me immediately.)

Rewatching it to refresh myself because it's been a couple years and a full-novel reread for me since the last time...

youtube

High fiving BDG because the Master Chief parts of The Flood were definitely the most boring parts.

He didn't have anything to say about First Strike which I think is a shame because I think it's better than The Fall of Reach and actually has A Theme I Find Interesting.

Rightful recognition of Contact Harvest as pretty damn good.

Rightful recognition of the Forerunner Trilogy as dense oldschool-style SF with deep worldbuilding. (Also the San'Shyuum thing.)

I disagree with him about, and have significant problems with, Kilo Five. He is correct that Kilo Five actually delves into some of the dark places in Halo in a way it really needed, and I would even say that its writing is extremely engaging by Halo novel standards. However, while he does notice the obvious parallels between what ONI is doing post-war and the kind of shit the CIA has pulled again and again irl, I think he misses some of the subtext I see where it feels like it justifies some shit a liiiiittle too much if you know the author's irl politics re: the military. He also doesn't seem to notice the character assassinations (particularly of Catherine Halsey) that I and a lot of other fans see/object to in those books. I kind of gaze into the middle distance with a haunted expression at the suggestion that these are the ones to read if you don't touch any of the others just because they are, ironically, so heavy-handed and feel like they treat certain kinds of evil as inevitable in a way that actually feels way worse to me than the excuse plot offered by the earlier/lighter Halo novels. (But idk, that's me? Nobody is committing a crime if they disagree with my frenzied insane person red string diagrams about Kilo Five.)

I'd swap Pariah for Dirt in the Evolutions anthology if it were me, but I think these are solid standouts.

Broken Circle is neat but really nonessential he's not wrong.

A one-sentence review of New Blood is probably not enough space to get into how fucked up the Spartan-IV program is, but yeah. New Blood is fun if you don't find Buck's first person narration annoying. (It comes and goes for me in that one.)

BDG you're an absolute sweetheart, I think Hunters in the Dark is kind of goofy in a way I cannot in good conscience ignore if I'm gonna review it. But it really really is so much fun and I love that one a lot anyway. The "it's like Halo 3... 2" observation is solid.

High fiving him again because I also found Last Light disappointing. And it is also a me problem.

Fractures!

Hell yeah these are all good pulls from Fractures, I would say Shadow of Intent is the pick of the litter in that anthology for me. Interesting that as a Kilo Five enjoyer he didn't single out Rossbach's World, which is the last we've heard about Osman and Black Box. (Also, that one is good.) I think Oasis is worth an honorable mention because I'm an Envoy stan, and the Forerunner stories are interesting but I wouldn't go for them if you don't already have a healthy interest in the trilogy.

This tangent is so fucking funny now that we know more things:

Oh BDG, oh buddy, it's really not for the people like you and me huh. (Disclaimer: I have no idea if BDG likes the Halo tv show or not and I have no desire to dig up evidence about it.)

Also, while you're here, this is the bloodgulchblog origin story:

Smoke and Shadow is fun so it's a little sad that when he ends that sentence with "whatever," I can't actually say he's wrong to. (Sorry Rion your part of the lore just.... hasn't... touched anything that touches anything else anymore.)

ENVOY IS GOOD AND EVERYONE SHOULD CARE ABOUT IT okay okay I'm cool I'm normal, anyway. Envoy is the Halo novel that restored my faith in reading Halo novels and reminded me that authors can care and know how to do nuanced, interesting themes in this space. It's great. Everyone in this book has war refugee trauma (except the Spartans which have Spartan trauma) and that's incredible to me. Please care about Envoy if you have spare room in your heart for Halo side characters.

I am cheered to see someone indifferent to the Veta Lopis stories, but I still feel petty for feeling it.

I don't have a lot to say about Legacy of Onyx here but it's always so fun seeing someone else suffer and care.

Bad Blood, the Blood is Bad now is a fun joke but lol yeah. It does have this very vital moment where Chief and Arbiter talk, though. For the first and only time in years.

PROPS FOR NOTICING THE YA NOVELS they're actually pretty nice.

"The Master Chief is the protagonist and boy does he shoot some people" is most of how I feel about Silent Storm and Oblivion too, I know they have their fans but Troy Denning's Chief books don't do much for me personally.

Renegades hadn't had its followup Point of Light yet but yeah, Spark stuff is interesting.

I had to remember that oh yeah, there are multiple books now that didn't exist when this was made. I wonder if he read them?

OKAY I THINK THAT'S ALL I HAD TO SAY as always if y'all want specific book opinions, I might have a tag for them. Or just yell in my ask box, I'm sure I can scrounge up some thoughts.

#halo novels

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stitchlingbelle · 5 months

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Watching Halo, episode 1

Things I Know About Halo:

The Master Chief is a badass supersoldier who Doesn't Take Off His Helmet.* (I thought it had turned out he was a woman and the fan base rioted but apparently I mixed him up with Samus Aran?) There's a couple AI people, Roland the orange dude and Cortana the hot chick. There's a guy named Arbiter, I think he's an alien? Aliens destroy a lot of planets. There's some sort of mystical Old Ones leftover tech? (Is that the Halo part?) Names I have heard: Miranda Keyes, Dr. Halsey, Makee, Thomas Lasky, Chyler Silva**

That established, let's give this thing a go!

Nice opening scene. The costuming and set design are good, definitely have that Star Wars-esque vibe but are doing some of their own specific things that ground the world. The characters definitely gave you that lived-in-universe feel of established relationships and community right away. (Also I'm delighted by their use of Korean and their made-up alien language. Again, nice worldbuilding.) I am, however, confused. There's also an entire rebelling against the galactic empire thing going on? No one told me this. How do these people find the time with all the aliens?

Oh shit, THEY DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE ALIENS. Oh noooo.

The violence is really well done. The explosion plus blood splatter shot was great. Good use of camera work to minimize the more difficult to pull off FX shots while still getting the brutality across. The helmet-cam shots are a good storytelling choice while also being a fun nod to the games. I do not envy the stunt people fighting in these suits, though. They made them look powerful. They did not make them look dexterous, graceful or effectively designed for hand-to-hand combat.

Noooo they killed the little kid! ...and everybody else. Man, I liked those guys. Poor Kwan. (Is she in the games? Is she this ineffective? She was like, I'm going to help! and then just... didn't.) And then the Spartans just... walk off?

DO NOT TOUCH THE WEIRD ALIEN TECH. You're a Master Chief! I have it on good authority that keeping people from touching things they shouldn't is a major part of your job! Set a good example for your troops! Also, check your six.

It's Dr. Halsey! Mad scientist alert, this woman does NOT seem to adhere to ethical guidelines. Nice lab coat. I don't trust you. Why do you have a person in a pod? (Why do you have them right where your boss can see them if they're not supposed to exist?) Who's Miranda Keyes and why do you have beef with her? Departmental rivalry?

Wow, Miranda is a lot younger than I expected. Also, that was terrible. Take care of the girl, butter her up, THEN ask her for shit. And do it in person, the hologram thing was weird and off-putting. Not sure that Kwan thought this through-- there's a happy medium between agreeing to be their propaganda mouthpiece and openly threatening to lie and say they caused the massacre, sweetie.

Alien homeworld (or homebase, idk)-- very cool design, good effects-- why is there a human here? Oh, THIS is Makee? What is her deal? Great costuming.

HALSEY IS MIRANDA'S MOM??? Wtf. Also I like Miranda, I don't think she knows what she's doing outside of her (own) lab but it sounds like her heart's in the right place. Great parting shot at dad, but also, maybe that's why your parents worked (for however long. Are they still together or not?)

Great scene with Kwan and Master Chief over the meal. Humanize him with a joke and then WHAM, dead mom story. I like how they're not letting you assume that Madrigal's people were just wrong about the Spartans. Nope, straight up, this guy commits atrocities because he never questions his orders. (She implied that she was there? How did that part go down?) Fortunately teenagers question everything, especially orders! Just in time to make you question this one...

From here on out it's action action action, with a lot of quick character bits mixed in (Halsey and Captain Keyes exchanging looks, the Spartans all listening to Halsey above their orders, high command doesn't trust their own creations-- how many different ways of monitoring their own ships do they have? This is taking surveillance state to a whole new level.)

YAY for Kwan getting a useful moment! If human strength does not avail, use guns tools, that's what we invented them for. No, Kwan, this man does not have a plan. I'm kinda sad the alien artifact activated, it would have been entertaining to watch the other Spartans get involved. (John: "This is our new pet. No, we will not be handing her over to be executed. Yes, she hates us all for very specific valid personal reasons. Roll with it.") Aaaand off they go, escaping to where? Not sure they know and I, with approximately 1% knowledge of this universe, certainly do not.

Finally, hopping back to address the One True Issue that divides the fandom: the helmet scene. It depends on how much the Never Remove the Helmet thing is an irl game artistic choice vs an in-universe character choice. If it's not an actual THING for John-117 himself, then I don't have any problem with it. Different mediums and all that. If it's like the Mandalorian thing, then yeah, it felt a little rushed, but still a necessary moment for humanizing him and building trust ASAP with a hostile teenage girl with a gun.

In conclusion: this was much better than I was expecting! I really enjoyed it and will probably watch the rest of the season while I bake today. And honestly it's been so long since I watched scifi on TV that it was sort of nostalgic? I was just ridiculously pleased by things like establishing shots of Reach and futuristic teenager haircuts.

Thanks so much to ATBNL and @sarnakhwritesthings for talking me into this!

*Has anyone done a 'John-117 is a Mandalorian' crossover yet? Someone definitely has, right?

**The last two do not appear in the TV show and also one is dead, except they're actually alive and married because @authortobenamedlater is in charge here.

#not sure if I should recap future episodes #especially not this exhaustively #but it was fun to do #halo tv show

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authortobenamedlater · 4 months

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E2 deep dive, once again under a cut to be extra careful of spoilers.

Where is Dr. Halsey, the world wonders?

She’s in an oddly comfortable and well-lit place to hold a war criminal, playing a game with what turns out to be a flash clone. Maybe of herself? Young Halsey had red hair and brown eyes? Well, I always knew that blond hair wasn’t growing out of her head. She keeps asking the flash clone about “the man” but the clone dies before she can answer. One gets the feeling this has happened before.

Riz still has lingering pain from taking a plasma grenade that would have killed a mere mortal. Understandable, even if Spartans heal and recover at lightning speed. Interesting bit of info from Kai that the emotion regulator acts as pain relief, since physical and emotional pain are processed in the same region of the brain. Yet Riz would rather have “a bullet in [her]” than put the pellet back in. She’d rather feel pain than feel nothing, we discover as she struts away in her tank top and leather pants.

Jumping ahead a bit, but since we are talking about Riz, who’s this Louis guy? I don’t remember reading about him in the admittedly very few books I read. He and Riz are tight, though. Maybe a former couple? And who IS that Danilo guy Louis takes Riz to see? A massage therapist? Psychic? What’s with this “your life is yours now” line? Foreshadowing? It’s a little weird.

I know I’ve been beating the “John is a broody introvert” drum for like two years, but WOW is he earning that reputation this season. He keeps talking about Makee, and she’s part of his troubles, but the other part is Cortana. He’s in denial about how not OK he is without her.

Kai, of course, knows something is up as she and John stare at a board showing the status of all Spartan teams. A status board that is not computerized. Well, Fenway Park will probably still have a manually operated scoreboard in 500 years, so I guess FLEETCOM can too.

Back to the matter at hand. Kai knows John is hurting. She tells him “We’re more than just—“ More than just WHAT? Let her finish, John you emotionally stunted dunderhead! Nope, you’re too busy fixating on Cobalt, for whom your concern is endearing if not a little inordinate.

There seems to be some ongoing…I don’t know if tension is the right word, but something between John and Kai over Kai shooting Makee.

About the status board. We see at least five teams: Silver, Gold, Cobalt, Omega, and Sigma. Blue Team is conspicuously absent, but if they got slipped in like this there would be pitchforks and torches outside Paramount HQ. I will use this to feed my headcanon that Blue Team is the Spartans’ SEAL Team Six and officially does not exist.

Maybe this is nothing, but silver, gold, and cobalt are all metals in addition to colors. Does this timeline use metals instead of colors to identify Spartan teams? Doesn’t explain Omega and Sigma, though.

After watching who knows how many flash clones keel over in front of her, Halsey finds out Ackerson is the “nice man” sending them in and he’s the one holding her prisoner in what turns out to be a holodeck of some sort. He doesn’t outright say the clones are of Halsey, but his “any resemblance is purely coincidental” line smells like BS to me. Halsey gets the award for most flash-cloned human in history, probably.

At any rate, Ackerson and Halsey know each other, a departure from First Strike and Ghosts of Onyx, but their rivalry will be even better face to face. Ackerson’s agenda, whatever it is, most intriguingly to me involves keeping Halsey alive. She was sentenced to an Article 72 at the end of S1 and in the last episode she’s seen leaving Reach. So how did she get back here, and into basically the Pentagon with nobody seeing her? Why does Ackerson need her alive?

Laera is not having any of Soren’s crew’s shenanigans and I don’t think this will end well for them. She hasn’t survived however many years married to Soren-066 by being a dummy. Kwan is still hiding out in that cave and running from her indentured servitude. Are we gonna get an explanation of this or…? Again, do Soren and Laera know she’s here and Kessler is going to see her?

I’m SORRY but the John/Kai implications when Ackerson is talking to Kai? “I know how long you’ve been together” “I understand what he sees in you.” WTF, buddy? I know he’s using this to try to get to Kai, but if he didn’t think there was something to it, he wouldn’t bother. Kai doesn’t refute any of it, either.

More evidence of Ackerson’s agenda comes when he talks with Cortana, who in addition to getting a makeover is cloistered in a holotank and stuck running simulations. Presumably about the Covenant hitting Reach. I’ll speculate that Ackerson is purposely keeping her separate from John because together they might dismantle whatever his plan is. He’s kept her from accessing “external systems” even though she says they might improve her simulation’s accuracy. Basically, he needs to keep her contained.

Cortana’s “you won’t visit again, according to the simulations” line. Is she predicting Ackerson will die on Reach? He survives to the Battle of Earth (Halo 2) in game canon. We also see him with Kai in the trailers and I’m presuming they’re on Onyx. Does he die on Onyx? Or is this not related to him dying at all?

John inadvertently crashing the Perez family dinner is great. The grandmother’s “You’re very large” observation is 🤣 The reference to the “Spartan Attack” game gives us a look at the wider universe. We have Call of Duty and other such games, why wouldn’t this world have something similar? I’m also all for Silver Team going around the galaxy picking up honorary Spartans. John doesn’t realize that’s what he’s doing but he is 😂

They gave Carter’s famous “the Covenant’s on Reach” line to John, nice touch.

Lastly, Makee is somehow alive. I like it less than my headcanon of her Halo 5 Cortana gambit, but I’ll allow it. Covenant must have some serious medical tech, which given how advanced they are vs. humans, could track. The Makee reveal doesn’t surprise me. I said right after S1 that she was too good a character to just be gone. It does, however, feel a little cheap to have her walking around like nothing happened. I seem to be one of the few who actually liked her and thought she was a good foil for John (The Scene notwithstanding), so I’m interested in seeing where this ends up.

Still no sight or mention of Miranda, but Olive Gray is listed in the credits. This means we HAVE to see Miranda at some point since there are union rules about this. Once upon a time the rule was anyone appearing in at least 8/22 episodes had to be credited with the main cast (Babylon 5 fans will make the connection that Warren Keffer appeared in exactly eight episodes 😆), but I don’t know what that looks like now. Anyway, I have some theories, but I’ll save that for later in the week because this show makes me chatty.

#halo #halo spoilers #halo tv show #kai 125 #john 117 #master chief #James ackerson #Catherine halsey #talia perez

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empty-blog-for-lurking · 4 months

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Hii i know im late but either kuron allura or lance for the ask game thingy you rbed like two days ago?

(i know i always pick these three but idk i just rlly like hearing your thoughts on them<3)

Yay!! I am so sorry this is late. Also heads up this gets long and really salty-

Kuron-

favorite thing about them- He's trying so much! He is not great at it and he was very much Doomed since the beginning and he lost every agency he never had to begin but my god he was Trying! He did not know he was a clone but he felt he that he isnt him and Haggar was still scouting in his head but he was still trying until he couldnt, my god i love him!!

least favorite thing about them- Other than the fact he fucking died??? Kuron babygirl please dont go behind your teams back and dont yell at people, i know you are Going Through It™ but still

favorite line- "Like i am not like myself" HAHAHAHA HAHA FUCKING KILL ME!!! orz

brOTP- Lance and Kuron relationship that lives in my head and has a special place in my heart, also Veronica and Kuron because i am too deep in That au i will make it a thing if only just for that au

OTP- Do i have to answer this one? I guess Kur.ance if you twist my arm but to be honest i still prefer it as platonic or qpr. I am not much of a shipper and he has aroace swag to me. Oh, also Kuron/getting to live as his own person aka the best ship ever

nOTP- I guess Kuron/Keith and Kuron/Lotor? Mostly because my rather uhhh negative opinions on Keith and utter disappointment with Lotor's character and annoyance with both of their stans

random headcanon- i have already talked about him being fan of reading but did you know he also writes sometimes? It is not *great* and almost all of them are wips because he is never sure how to end a story but he is trying

unpopular opinion- if i see one more "Kuron the evil mean clone" i will scream.

Other than- ok. You know how much i love him right? He is one of my favourites and i like him more than Shiro, you know that right? I need you to know and remember that when i say the next part.

Entire clone arc was just not needed. Like you could have had the same effect with Shiro being mind controlled and i personally feel it would have been better. Clone arc just overcomplicated an already messy plot, added even more elements and questions that went absolutely nowhere, left behind a shit load of plot holes, became the final nail in the coffin of Shiro having any possible arc or development, and added a new sympathetic character just to kill him off as a plot device.

And the entire "You are my brother Shiro, i love you" who is it for? Literally who is it for? It would have been much more heart wrenching if it was mind controlled Shiro but we clearly established that is not him. That guy is not Shiro, and Keith as i recall had like 3 on screen conversations with him, 2 of them being strained and then Keith just fucks off with the Blades for most of 3 seasons. It is not for Kuron cause narrative is insistent that he is ~evil~ tool and later on they use his body to get Shiro back. So like, who is it for? Other than to show how sad and angsty and great and amazing writers pet Keith is of course but that is the whole goddamn show.

Like i love him and he did not deserve any of That and i am going to keep making up aus where he lives but the entire pointlessness of clone arc angers me so much

song i associate with them- Being a basic bitch here but Control by Halsey

favorite picture of them-

honestly every scene with him having long hair is just>>>

Allura-

favorite thing about them- Allura is just so genuinely kind, like she goes from one traumatic event after another and loses everything she had and she is rightfully angry and hurt and upset but she still remains kind and does everything so that others dont have to go through what she did and so she sacrifices what little she still had

least favorite thing about them- why is she fucking dead 🥺🥺? Girl wake up, also as much as i love her i am not forgiving her for entire using-Kuron's-body-to-bring-Shiro-back.

favorite line- "So how would you rate your bloodlust level from 1-5?" Let her be silly please!!!!

BrOTP- Allura and Shiro!! Also Allura and Hunk!!! And a number of interactions between Allura and Lance post s3 too!!

OTP- Free my girl hasnt she suffered enough?? (I do have soft spot for early season sha.llura moments and many allurnce moments)

nOTP- i guess l0tura and k@llura? For similar reasons as above

random headcanon- pre-Altea's destruction Allura was the most daredevil person ever. You could dare her to eat a ghost pepper and she'll do it just to prove she can

unpopular opinion- No longer saying 'the situation is much more nuanced' and 'she was traumatized, it is understandable' about the galra reverse racism bs and instead going she was 100% in the right actually. If this fandom can forgive Lotor for getting thousands of alteans murdered and straight up lying to the woman he says he loves about her own people and forgive Keith for abandoning his teammates and almost getting them all killed by claiming they were sad and traumatized than they can also forgive a black coded genocide survivor not liking a race that has been colonizing and murdering the entire universe for 10000 years including her own people

song i associate with them- Queen of Nothing by Crane Wives

favorite picture of them-

Look at her smile

Lance-

favorite thing about them- my boy?? My most favourite boy??? Literally everything?? Ok but seriously i have talked about this before but he is complex to me, i love there is so much duality in him he is someone who is kind would die for a person he met like 2 days ago and did not get along but also is just an absolute obnoxious cunt. He is an emotionally mature guy who understands his own feelings but also is just sooo douchey class clown. He wants to be a cool talented hero, he has the capacity to be that but he wants to be seen as one and in his attempts he ends up screwing himself over and comes out looking as anything but that<33!! And he is loyal and goofy and lovable i love him

least favorite thing about them- i would not have liked this fucker if i met irl specifically s1-s2 him at all. Also the fact they did not even give him an arc like why would you do this to him. Also his fanbase, i cant tolerate 70% of his fanbase and the fact that i still love him is a testimony of my love for him itself given i have hated characters and left fandoms for far less

favorite line- "You ever notice how far the planets are from each other, Coran?" Why did they have the goofball say shit like this if he was meant to be just a goofball

brOTP- Everyone <3, he deserves more friends but mostly Hunk, Kuron, and Allura

OTP- i like most Lance ships actually, though there is a specific han.ce au i have in my head that i adore

nOTP- *sighs* kl4nce. It's just sooo Everywhere, i go to Lance's tag and it is all this ship, nearly every s8 fix-it thinkpiece i have seen moans about how Lance was reduced to Allura's bf only to reduce him to Keith's bf and all of them yell about how the only problem with vld was that kl didnt become canon as if all the racism in the show doesnt even matter, and i am so goddamn tired of this like i cant even joke about Lance having terrible taste in men witjout someone bringing Keith up, and i dont hate the ship (and sometimes i even enjoy it) but i am done with this

Random headcanon- he can play violin pretty well! But he also hates playing violin

unpopular opinion- this is coming from someone who only likes and cares about Lance ships but i think he shouldnt have had a romance arc with anyone. I have said this before but he is so obsessed with keeping facades and the romance loverboy is one of those facades. At most he should have had like last one out of beach city episode from steven universe, where he gets a partner by just being himself instead of the flirty loverboy persona

song i associate with them- Top of the world by Greek fire

favorite picture of them-

He looks great when he is on the verge of death

#empty answers #Using leet speak because i dont want this to go in tags-#Understand that my dislike towards L0tor and K3ith do not come from their flaws #But how the show and the fandom handled said flaws #Hoo boy this got long #So sorry this is late #Thanks for asking

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byunbhyunz · 10 months

Text

Hold Me Down

Pairing: Doyoung/Reader

Genre: fluff, runningawayfromresponsibilities!Doyoung

Word count:

Inspiration: Halsey – Hold Me Down

Part 6 of the Badlands Series

Running away was never the kind of thing Doyoung would do. Not until his responsibilities started to eat him alive, and the only thing on his mind was a night free from anything and everything.

“But it’s the devil that’s tryna Hold me down, hold me down Sneaking out the back door, Make no sound”

Driving around after sunset wasn’t unusual for you. Most of the time you found yourself hopping into your car before you could think of anything else, and drove until you felt sleepy enough to finally go to bed.

Insomnia was a nasty little thing like that. It made falling asleep hard, sometimes you couldn’t even sleep for a day or two, and you would be like a zombie at work.

It only started after your brother’s death. A car crash with him dying and two other people severely injured. You drove around for the memory of him. You drove around, because he wanted to see the world and with your limited resources you could only discover the secret places of Seoul. You looked for tourist hotspots, famous historical places, hidden restaurants and cafes, really anything that caught your eye. Sometimes you would wander around on foot, but driving was the best. It silenced your mind and you could imagine your brother sitting on the passenger seat, joking around, eager to go to places.

Some places you knew by heart, visiting them again and again.

Tonight wasn’t any different. You planned to go to the City Wall, looking around the Namdaemun market, buying something delicious to eat, then go and look at the Namdaemun Gate while eating.

Soft wind caressed your face as you rolled the windows down and stopped at a red light. You half-heartedly listened to the song playing on the radio; an old ballad about love. The lyrics went unnoticed by your mind, but the soulful melody made your heart clench in pain. It made you remember your parents’ face after the burial of your brother. It was the only time you saw your father cry.

Movement caught your eye. On the pavement, a young man around your age was running. He had a desperate look on his face, like he was running from something, but you didn’t see anything chasing him. Maybe he had this funny way for exercising. Only, he wasn’t wearing clothes made for running and it seemed like he was running straight to your car.

With a lump settling in your throat, you considered rolling the windows back up, but decided against it. Sure, he wasn’t running to a stranger’s car at night. You still activated the safety lock. Who knows, Seoul was just like any city at night: with the wrong step you could be in danger.

And oh, boy, you were wrong! The guy ran right up to you, popping his head in above the window, and said:

“Please, take me somewhere, anywhere before they find out I ran away!”

Not even in the future could you explain what made you unlock the car, and let him climb in. Maybe it was the haunted look in his eyes or how he was breathing heavily.

So you let him get in just in time for the red light changing to green. He fastened the seat belt without you having to asking him, which was a bonus point in your mind. He looked unharmed and didn’t seem like he would attack you in any moment.

You let out the air stuck in your lungs, and cleared your throat.

“So, do you have anywhere specific in your mind?” you asked after a long silence.

You were still driving in the direction of the Namdaemun Gate, the stranger’s presence not diverting you from your original plans.

“It doesn’t matter where you take me. I just need time to clear my mind.” You glanced at him for a moment, and he was scrunching his nose as if he just remembered something important. “I can pay you for the gas and the trouble, of course. Or you can drop me off…”

You interrupted him with a small smile.

“Are you wearing comfortable shoes?”

“Yes. What for?”

“Walking. ‘Cause I might just know the perfect place to turn your mind off for a few hours, if that’s what you want.”

He hummed in agreement as you made a left turn. You still had time before you would get to the gate. He didn’t ask where you were going and you didn’t tell him.

Despite a stranger sitting in your passenger seat, you were still calm and collected, as if you were alone. Not to say you were not aware of him. God, you were more than aware. Every few minutes you looked at him from the corner of your eye. He had dark hair, strands of it falling onto his forehead. Combined with dark, alluring eyes and lips that seemed to be constantly pouting.

“May I?” He asked, and pointed at the radio. You nodded.

Another red light. Looking at your surroundings, you realized you were getting closer to your destination.

The man next to you kept switching between stations, until he found a song he was satisfied with. It was a Beatles song, one your mother listened to a lot when you were younger. You hummed with the singer, never really singing along.

“My name is Doyoung, by the way. I mean… I just realized how weird this situation is.” He sounded defeated and apologetic. You heard his clothes rubbing against the seat, probably moving around a little. “I can’t believe I jumped into a stranger’s car. I’m gonna be in so much trouble.”

“And I have let a stranger get into my car. Worst case scenario: you kill me and we’ll be on the morning news.”

He softly laughed at that. You took a moment to enjoy the sound.

“What’s your name?”

“You can call me Jude,” you told him. If he recognized your obvious lie with ‘Hey Jude’ still playing on the radio, he didn’t mention it. “There, we are not strangers anymore.”

Arriving to your destination, you made a little sound effect as you waved your hand around.

“And we are here.”

“Really? Namdaemun market?” He asked skeptically, and you shrugged your shoulders.

“And the gate. I originally planned to buy some food and drink, go to the gate and have a nice meal. It’s much more relaxing than you would think.”

Getting out of the car, Doyoung followed suit. You watched him pull a mask out from his pocket, putting it on carefully. He noticed the curious look you gave him.

“People might recognize me.”

“Are you an influencer or something?” Your question made him laugh, the sound rich and low, but a little muffled by the fabrics against his mouth.

“Or something.”

Your curiosity haven’t got fulfilled with his answer, but you didn’t pry further. Despite your words, you were just two strangers sharing some time of calmness together.

You still watched his face, trying to will your mind to remember where you could have seen him, but came up with nothing. The dark hair and eyes could belong to any citizen of Seoul, only his clear skin and clothes whispered something about wealth to you. Maybe he was a son of a politician. It would explain his words of getting into trouble for jumping into a stranger’s car in the middle of the night.

Despite the time, the Namdaemun market was buzzing with life. Bright lights lead your way through the stalls of vendors. It looked more like a shopping street rather than a market, but you enjoyed spending time here. Some vendors recognized you, because you usually bought your food from them. You really liked the stalls with the old vibe, where you could know your money was going for a family business rather than a big company.

You lead Doyoung around the market carefully, letting him look around and sometimes stop for window-shopping. He never asked to go here or there, but you always noticed when he stopped in his tracks behind you. Thinking about how he wanted to protect his identity even here, your eyes automatically scanned the crowd for people with recognition on their faces, but you didn’t find anything suspicious. No one here cared about who you were.

At last, you reached your favorite place. It was a little hole in the wall shop with the most delicious tteokbokki. And it was a plus that the old couple running the restaurant were kind people, who liked to give you free drinks, very insistent about not letting you pay for them. You usually left a big enough tip to make up for the drinks anyway.

“Ah, my sweet girl! Good to see you again! Do you want the usual?” Upon your nod, the owner turned to Doyoung. “And what about your partner? A simple, mild tteokbokki will do for you, too?”

“I would like it spicy. Thank you, mister!”

“I’ll make it immediately. My old Yoona will be with you in a moment. She just made a fresh batch of coffee, too.” He gave you a wink, then went to the back and called for his wife.

“It’s cozy.” Looking around, Doyoung hummed in satisfaction, then his attention was on the menu, written on a little black board above the counter. “But I don’t see any coffee mentioned. Only water, juices and soju.”

“I come here often,” you said it like it would explain the under-the-counter coffee. In reality, you couldn’t explain it well without sounding too cheesy.

The old couple, Yoona and Minsu became fond of you along your many visits here. Some nights, you wouldn’t even go to the City Wall, just sitting here and eating tteokbokki was enough to make your soul calm down. They were the first people you talked to about your true feelings regarding the loss of your brother. They listened with open hearts, while their handmade food filled you with warmth. They gave you coffee or chocolate milk and you brought them small gifts on occasions.

They liked to show you pictures of their grandchildren, keeping you up to date about their lives as well. You also enjoyed listening to their stories and little arguments that ended up in Minsu calling his wife “my fierce, old Yoona”.

Looking at them, you sometimes believed that true, lasting love existed.

“Oh, my! Our girl brought a boy with her!” And here she was. The starter of the couple’s arguments, Yoona. She liked to tease the customers, especially you, but her heart was made of gold, you were sure of it.

“Miss Yoona!” Her name left your lips in a whine, a pout already forming on your lips. Regardless, you took a seat at the counter, instead of at the tables. She had two mugs in her hands. His husband must have told her you didn’t come alone for once.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. You are young. When’s better time to live your life as you wish?” You shyly glanced at Doyoung as he sat down on another stool next to you. The mask helped to cover his expression, but you saw a light red tint painting the top of his ears.

“Are you going to the wall again? Or planning to stay here?” Your lack of response from earlier didn’t scare her, she was more than aware how she made you embarrassed for a moment. Maybe even enjoyed it a little, too. She sat the two mugs down in front of you, slipping milk and sugar along with it.

“We aren’t staying this time. Just grabbing your husband’s famous tteokbokki, then go for the wall.”

“Don’t tell him that. He will brag about it for days if he hears you calling it famous,” Yoona said in a hushed tone, leaning closer to you over the counter. Doyoung chuckled at that a little, putting two sugars and a little milk in his coffee. Watching him pull his mask down to drink made you wonder about his identity again, but your mind came up with nothing. Again. Maybe you should look him up on the internet later.

You drowned your coffee in milk with little to no sugar, and sighed contentedly after the first sip. It smelled earthy and tasted divine.

Yoona went to the back and returned with your orders. They were a more than generous amount and carefully packaged. You payed and thanked them for everything, leaving a tip like usual. Doyoung watched you with curious eyes, but haven’t said a word until you left.

“Are you relatives?”

“No. I told you, I come here often. They are always treating me nicely. Just some really kind people.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. But how could you tell someone you just met that an old couple from the market knew about the deepest parts of your heart? How could you tell him that you lost your brother and was struggling with grief, that Yoona and Minsu seemed to be the only people to understand your pain? You couldn’t, so you just kept it to yourself, not even talking about it with your parents. Sometimes, you visited them more than your own parents.

“So, we are really going to climb up the wall?” He pulled you out of your thoughts.

A half smile played on Doyoung’s lips before he hid it behind his mask. He was holding your tteokbokkis, insistent on carrying them after you payed for it.

“That’s the plan, kinda. Except it’s not open at night, so we can’t really climb it. If you’re not up for it, we can go back. I take you back whenever you want.”

“No. I like the idea.”

“Good.”

Walking in silence, you wandered around the thickening crowd. Nearing midnight, more vendors came out, also locals and tourists started to flood the streets. Fearing of getting lost in the sea of people, you quietly grabbed the seam of his jacket’s sleeve with two fingers. Doyoung halted for a moment, dark eyes meeting yours. You could see in them that he was smiling, then continued to navigate around.

Time after time you muttered a few words to take a turn here or there, and about an hour later you were out of the market.

The Namdaemun Gate could be seen from afar, but it almost got lost around the modern buildings, all of them larger than this piece of history. It was lit up with lights, towering beautifully and anciently.

Doyoung’s eyes widened a little, and you smiled to yourself. He could definitely understand now why you liked to come here.

“I’ve never been here at night. It looks…”

“Old?”

“Wonderful.”

You found a little place to sit down across the street from the gate. Once everything was in place, Doyoung handed you one of the tteokbokkis and chopsticks.

“What are you running from, Doyoung?” You broke the silence with your out of place question, fidgeting with your chopstick before taking the first bite. The rice cakes were soggy and the sauce was a little spicy, just how you liked it.

From the corner of your eyes, you saw him following your movements, chewing sounds filling the night. It was like a little bubble of comfort formed around you, only filled with small noises and the contentment from eating a delicious meal. You were almost too scared to pop it, but your curiosity took the best of you. You pried further, wanting to understand why a men like him would run away from his life even for a night without looking back. Maybe he had a heavy weight on his soul, just like you.

“You know, sometimes it’s easier to pour our heart out to a stranger than a friend. Talking about our problems… It might not solve it, but it helps. And we probably won’t meet again after tonight.”

“You said it yourself: we are not strangers anymore.”

“Then a one-night-companionship.”

“I don’t think there is a word like that.”

“There is now.”

The food disappeared fast. You didn’t even knew you were that hungry, until you started to eat. You let Doyoung think about your offer. You might have seemed a little pushy, but you had nothing to lose or gain from listening to his story and struggles.

Setting aside the leftovers from your meal, Doyoung sighed, and said:

“You might be right. But beforehand, you have to promise to never tell anyone about what I will tell you. I don’t want to see it back on news tabloids.”

“And I don’t want to break down your confidence, but I honestly have no idea who you are. I only know your first name and that you ran away from home.”

He smiled sadly at that. You noticed how he didn’t pull his mask back up.

“I’m an idol in a boy group. We are quite popular domestically and inernationally.”

An idol. Thinking that he was an influencer or the son of a politician seemed ridiculous now.

Doyoung was dissecting your expression, and when he didn’t find anything he disliked in it, he went on.

“We have a lot of members… and a really tight schedule. I have an older brother, but I was always taking care of him, so I like to do the same with my dongsaengs. They can be a handful, but they are good kids, really. Lately, it’s just getting too much. I have to show a perfect image to our fans, a good example for my dongsaengs, while barely sleeping. My life became monotonous, and it just peaked tonight. One of my members broke something precious to me, and I suddenly had this unnerving feeling that if I don’t get away from the dorm right away, I might… I don’t really know what I might have done. It was too overwhelming.”

“I understand it,” you said quietly, grief gripping your throat.

And you did. You knew that feeling so well, like the back of your hand. The urge that made you jump into your car, making you drive for hours on end because you were too scared to find out what would happen if you let that feeling get a steady hold of you. A panic attack would be the most plausible, but who knew what it would make you do.

Self-harm was never something you though about. Fortunately, you never slipped that far into the rabbit hole. But you were scared you might hurt others. You might lash out at your parents for never being there for you when your brother died, drowning in their own grief and never thinking about yours for a moment. So you coped. You coped with visiting places he might have gone to, you coped with imagining your brother next to you while you drove around Seoul.

“It’s too much.” Doyoung’s voice was low and defeated. When your eyes met, it was like you were looking in the mirror. The haunted and lost sparkle in them resonated with your soul, pulling at strings in your heart that no one could ever touched.

You wanted to hug him, but placing your hand over his was enough for now. Even that little gesture seemed far too intimate in the moment. You both let the other look into your own souls, see the pain gathering in there.

You took a deep breath, deciding to dive into your pain, trusting him and sharing your story with him.

“I had an older brother once, too. He was my world growing up. Then he died in a car accident and I was left alone with my feelings. My parents… they were so lost in grieving their dead son, that they forgot about their other kid. They never talk about it with me, and the pain gets unbearable sometimes. Making me want to run away… But I’m too much of a coward for that, so I just keep driving around, visiting places I find in the city, so I don’t have to be at home, alone or with my parents.”

Doyoung squeezed your hand with his own, then laced your fingers together. A silent sign of support.

“So trust me when I say: it gets better. You learn to cope with things with time. You learn to forgive and that overwhelming feeling will get lighter. I don’t know if it will ever disappear, but it will get better.”

You kept sitting there in silence, looking at the City Gate. You felt you two were like that piece of history over there. It stood stable and unmovable in the middle of this modern jungle. Time kept chipping away at its edges, but it couldn’t be broken just like that.

You were like that, too. Feelings tormented your soul, but you steeled yourself and kept going, not letting it make you any less of what you truly were.

The car ride back was peaceful. A weight have been lifted from both of your souls. And for once, you weren’t imagining your brother sitting in the passenger seat. Doyoung sat there, and he kept singing with the radio in the most ridiculous voices, making you laugh and happy. His dark eyes lost that haunted look from them. They sparkled with lightness in the city lights.

You felt like you could get used to it – driving around with him next to you.

You didn’t even notice when started to sing along. With windows rolled down, your voices flew with the wind in the soft summer night. At a red light, you watched Doyoung. His eyes crinkled at the edges, constantly smiling as he was heaving for air between two songs. You felt happy.

Parking near the place where he jumped into your car, you looked at him again. The uplift mood calmed down, but the air still held onto the lightness of it.

“Do you feel better?” You asked, wanting to make the night last a little longer.

“Yes. Thank you. For everything.”

Another silent moment passed. Doyoung haven’t moved to get out of the car. His eyebrows furrowed as he got lost in his thoughts before he finally voiced them.

“You know, you never told me your name. You told me to call you Jude, but I bet it was a lie.”

“For tonight, it was the truth.”

“It’s still not fair. You know my name, and you never really told me yours.”

“I’ll tell you, if we ever meet again, Doyoung,” you smiled softly at him, a hint of sadness washing over you. You knew that you probably will never meet him again.

Doyoung grabbed your hand, squeezed it once, twice before getting out of your car. The horizon started to turn orange with the sun coming up as you watched Doyoung walk away, his mask back on his face.

And so the night ended.

You wandered around Namdaemun market. It was earlier than usual, the sun only started to set.

You spent your day off walking around in the city, even visited your parents for lunch and suggested to them that you should go to your brother’s grave together for the anniversary of his death. Things were getting better, you dared to say. You still had bad days, where only driving around would help you, but escaping your depressing thoughts weren’t that easy.

For the last three years you always took this day off. It wasn’t a special day or anything, but you felt like you should. For three years you spent this day going anywhere but the Namdaemun market or the City Gate. You didn’t need a harsh reminder of that one particular night you spent in the company of Doyoung. That night you felt you were with someone who you understood on the deepest level and you missed that feeling. And you missed him. Which was weird because you only knew him for a night and never met him again. Day by day it seemed more likely to never see him again.

But this year, you gathered your strength and decided to go to the night market.

As more people started to crowd the streets, you went to Yoona and Minsu’s place for your usual fill of tteokbokki. You also found a nice teacup set at an antic shop on the other side of the city, which you wanted to gift to Yoona. It was packaged well and securely, so she couldn’t find out from one look what it was.

“My sweet girl! How good to see you again!” You smiled at the familiar words which you were greeted with upon your every visit. Yoona looked more tired than usually, but her eyes shined with warmth and strength.

You took a seat at the counter; it slowly became your spot at the restaurant. You already had a cup of warm tea placed in front of you, as if she was anticipating your visit already.

“I knew you would come. I told that boy to come back later, you might just be running late,” Yoona’s words made you frown. Your heart leaped into your throat at the possibilities of who she was thinking about. You swallowed back all your feelings, and tried to look nonchalant.

“What boy?”

“The one you came here with once,” she rewarded you with a look which said you should know about it better than her. “He keeps coming back every year, but you keep missing each other. Tragic, if you ask me. Not to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong, but you shouldn’t treat him like this. Leaving people hanging is not a nice thing to do!”

Time has stopped for a moment. You didn’t even notice the mug burning your fingers as you held it, you could only think about Yoona’s words.

The boy you came here with once… Doyoung. It only could be Doyoung. He was here. He came here every year, looking for you at the only place where he knew he might find you.

“I… I never knew he came back. I only met him that one time.” You tried to defend yourself, and Yoona’s expression softened, then a mischievous smile took over her features.

“It must be fate, then.”

“You never told me he kept coming back here.”

“Well, I thought you were trying to avoid him for some reasons. Young love can be unpredictable even for an old soul like me.”

Dismissing that anticipating feeling in your chest, you willed yourself to change the subject. Yoona almost cried while opening your gift, even called Minsu out for a moment, so he could admire it too. The little restaurant was busier than it used to be, so you could only exchange a few words with the old man before he had to return to the kitchen. Talking with them filled your soul to the fullest, yet you were missing something.

Knowing that Doyoung was at the Namdaemun market looking for you made you do silly things. Like gazing at the door every time it opened, hoping it was Doyoung arriving. You barely had any luck, but you still kept doing it. You told yourself you would only stay an hour, but you kept staying until you finally confessed to yourself: you wouldn’t leave until he would finally came back here.

After eating a plate of tteokbokki, you switched your tea with coffee. You were sipping the second cup already. There were fewer people, most of them went out to discover the market and Yoona went to the kitchen to help Minsu clean up a bit.

Someone came in again, and you looked at them for a second, then turned back to your coffee. Then back to the newcomer.

It was Doyoung. He had a mask on, but the same dark hair and eyes from three years ago greeted you like a wave of fresh air. You unknowingly held your breath, only exhaled when the corner of his eyes crinkled, indicating a smile. You returned it without thinking, slipping out of your seat.

Standing there awkwardly, Doyoung was the first one to move. He walked to you, pulling out a bouquet of pink camellias from behind his back. You felt your face heating up as he held out the flowers for you. The tip of his ears were red, too, you noticed.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said in a soothing tone, and you chuckled at his words. Yes, for three years, he was looking and waiting for you.

“I know,” you answered. You could see it in his eyes that he understood exactly what you were feeling. He was feeling it, too.

Your fingers brushed his when you took the bouquet, smelling the flowers. They were sweet, just as the gesture of giving them to you.

“I wanted to tell you; you were right. It got better. And also, you owe me your name.”

He pulled his mask down as you sat back to the counter and didn’t answer him immediately, Yoona brought out another cup of coffee for him, and smiled knowingly as she disappeared again.

You couldn’t stop smiling, and it seemed Doyoung felt the same.

“I told you to call me Jude once.” Hearing your answer a pout formed on his lips.

“And you also said that you will tell me your name if we meet again. And we did.” He drummed with his fingers on the wooden counter, eyes avoiding yours for a moment. “It would be weird to ask you on a date without knowing your name, wouldn’t it?”

You blushed at his words. Your heart fluttered dangerously in your chest. Gulping down a sip of coffee, your gaze left his eyes. He was still not looking at you as he waited for your reaction. You played with the shanks of the camellias as you muttered your name and looked back at him again.

His dark eyes finally locked on yours, shining with a warm light in them. He smiled as he placed his hand on yours.

“Hello, Y/N! I’m Doyoung, and I think I’m three years late with asking you to a second date.”

“Second?” You questioned him with furrowed eyebrows.

“Yes. Don’t tell me you don’t remember the first one. It would make things a little awkward.”

“Then remind me, please.”

“Well, I jumped into your car and you took me here. We ate tteokbokki and talked until dawn. I believe you stole my heart that night, but you refused to even tell me your name.”

He took away your breath with his easy confession. He said it so freely as if it was common knowledge. Maybe to him it was, since you both had three years to mull over your feelings.

“You will hold a grudge over it forever, huh?” You teased him.

“Maybe. But a smart woman once told me that time can solve a lot of things, so who knows?”

You laughed at his words, basking in the light atmosphere of a slowly budding love.

You felt happy as you ordered a second plate of tteokbokki, and officially started your second date with Doyoung.

#nct #nct fanfic #nct fluff #doyoung #doyoung fanfic #doyoung fluff #badlands series

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mousebetterhavemymoney · 7 months

Text

Gangnam Style (Chapter 3)

~Trigger warnings~

Language, depictions of domestic abuse

Seoul, March 8, 1999.

Jang-Mi tossed and turned in a fitful sleep as the horrors of her past flooded her mind again.

So much time had passed, but it felt like none at all. It was as if she lived in every moment of trauma she suffered.

Especially at night.

The moment her head hit the pillow each night, the nightmare began anew, and the images of terror and pain ran amok in her mind.

The blood that pooled over the beautiful rug.

The shards of glass embedded deeply into her skin.

And the voices... Always, the voices.

"I don't know what i did wrong, Danny! I am sorry! I want to be good wife to you, I do! Just tell me what i did! Why can't i please you?

"You'll always be my little pet. Nothing more."

She shot out of bed, sweat pouring down her forehead as she took in deep breaths.

Ugh, that dream again. 씨발.

Jang-Mi tossed the sheets away and began her descent downstairs, where she knew she'd find solace in her music room.

And a bottle of Soju, of course.

______________________________________________________________

"And all the people say You can't wake up, this is not a dream You're part of a machine, you are not a human being With your face all made up, living on a screen Low on self-esteem, so you run on gasoline"

Jang-Mi ran her hands through her inky dark hair as she lifted her hands from the piano, letting out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding.

Things had been... difficult since the accident.

The scars along her back were healing up nicely, but the mental ones were going nowhere fast. Jang-Mi's good friend Britney had been more than considerate during this time of suffering, and she knew she was lucky to have her in her life.

Maybe going to that Clueless premiere wasn't such a mistake after all.

Jang-Mi placed a hand under her chin, which allowed her to go deeper into thought, and ignored the discordant notes that played on the piano as she her elbow hit the keys.

Her new album would drop tomorrow. She didn't know if anyone would like it.

And If she was being honest with herself, she didn't give two s**ts.

The people on the news rarely talked about her anymore, and when they did, it was either in pity, or mockery.

No more.

Jang-Mi wasn't the fragile flower she'd once been. And she was going to make sure the world would never again see her as a weakling. Jang-Mi had grown a lot since the accident, and she was going to prove that to everyone.

If they didn't like it, they could f**k off.

Jang-Mi shook herself out of her moody thoughts and snatched the bottle off the windowsill beside her. It was time for another shot.

Or two.

______________________________________________________________

Detroit, March 12, 1999.

Marshall found himself transfixed by the radio as he sat in the dark parking lot. Before long, he was tapping his foot to the beat as the song played on the radio. The singer sounded familiar, but he couldn't place where the hell he'd heard her voice before.

"And that was "Gasoline" by Jamie-Ann, who is shaking up the music world with a new album, and a new name!"

"Jamie-Ann, huh? interesting."

The song was bold.

Harsh.

Provocative.

And there wasn't a damn line in it that he didn't relate to.

Whoever this girl was, she knew what she was doing. As Em began to start his car, he made himself a promise.

"If i ever see this girl in person... i gotta meet her."

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A/n

Whew! that was a doozy. i literally busted my hump to write this before thanksgiving so you guys could read it while stuffing your faces, as i promised i would do. That being said, i hope it dosen't feel rushed. Anyway, disclaimer, all rights for "Gasoline" belong to Halsey, of course. Enjoy! ❤

#eminem x reader #eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #y2k #happy holidays!#My chapters are usually so short #i unintentionally made this one much longer #your'e welcome i guess?#eminem fanfiction

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alienisticxo · 2 years

Text

Before the Fever - Chapter Nine

{Master Chief x Reader series - TV based}

{A╱N} we’re getting into the thick of it now :’) Chapter 10 is already almost done too! i'm constantly writing- now that were getting to the burn part it’s just exuding from my pores and onto the virtual page. can you believe i've been writing all of this on my phone?!

i hope you guys are enjoying it. ♡

thank you so much for hanging in and reading as always!

{gif by michaelmercer}

enjoy ♡

Chapter Nine - Fighting the Same Battle

She trusted me.

Now that was something I never thought I’d hear her say.

I tried to make sense of the sentiment, to calm the way I felt when she said it. In a matter of minutes she’d gone from enemy to friendly. There was a sense of relief in that.

What a new mix of sensation it offered.

I could only stare at the girl, completely lost for words. I knew being honest was always the correct path despite what the ONI and Halsey may have practiced, but being as blunt as Cortana had been with her seemed to do the trick to get her to understand.

Why hadn’t I thought to be that way with her before? Well, it was classified then. It was different now. Cortana was right, we were fighting the same battle. Albeit for different reasons, yet somehow they were still similar. She wanted away from the UNSC and all the pain it seemed to have caused her. I…

Wasn’t sure what I wanted...

A little more thought brought it around. They caused me more trouble than I ever realized, and I wanted the truth. I wanted to know what this Keystone had to do with myself, my past. I wanted to know who cleared Halsey to do this to us to begin with and why she thought it would be a good idea to polish us into blank canvases to do the heavy lifting for her. I could never bring my parents back. But, I wanted to know who I was, who I could’ve been..

If there was anyone other than a Spartan who could understand how that felt, I realized then, that it might’ve been {Y/N}.

Anger surfaced when I thought about how Halsey was to blame for both of us. Remembering that I trusted her, had faith in her my entire life, felt like no one else could ever fill her shoes, only rubbed it in further.

————

Both Cortana and John looked at me as though I’d just spoken Sangheili to them though I couldn’t exactly read either of their faces. Maybe it was a little insane to see the semblance we now shared; to suddenly voice that I trusted him despite all of the push-back I’d done.

Where it had perplexed me before, The Master Chief’s intense insistence on my revealing what I’d seen and heard on The Covenant ship to Doctor Halsey became clear. He was simply trying to piece together his own history. His own forgotten memories of a life he once had. And it wasn’t just that, but he was dealing with a plethora of feelings, too. How could I blame him for it? I’d dealt with emotion all my life. I was still unsure of it all.

“Where are we going?” I pressed further, though he nor Cortana responded to my last statement.

After a beat, John’s shoulders loosened, his line of sight drifting to another corner of the craft.

“Rubble.”

“What?” I immediately piped up.

“You’ll stay with someone I can trust once I’m gone.”

“No, you can’t send me back there, please. They’ll find me in no time, they’ll–” I cut myself short.

They’ll find Astra, too, I thought instead. Though there was no real reason to take her in, I was afraid they’d use her as a bargaining chip to get to me. I hadn’t given much thought to where I’d end up once all of this was over, but while it was still going strong, especially while we were wanted, I couldn’t go back there.

“It’s what’s best,” John finalized through what sounded like a quiet sigh.

I was too preoccupied with our next location to be concerned with whether or not he still found me annoying. I shook my head, nearly unable to stop as I stood from my own place on the floor, as though I’d be able to run away again.

“I won’t go back there. You can’t leave me there..”

I had no tears left to give, but I could feel my face burning hot with emotion.

“Perhaps.. Given the circumstances, it might not be too far-fetched to head in another direction,” Cortana suggested.

“I already sent Kai to Rubble with The Artifact,” John seemed to remind her, his tone stern.

Though it felt like news to me, I vaguely remembered hearing him tell Cortana about direction back on Reach. I was so dazed, so much in shock, that I hadn’t put two and two together. The Blessed One who belonged to The Covenant popped into my head once more. I could still feel her cold stare burning into my own retinas. My skin crawled. Did she know where to find us? Was our escape going to end up a trap if the Keystone was in either of our hands again?

“Trajectories are changeable,” Cortana started. “I’m sure once she arrives and notices you’re not there—“

“She’ll think I set her up for failure. I can’t do that to her.”

I tried to think of a way to help resolve the issue and still stay away from Rubble. It felt impossible, now dealing with a set of problems that I hadn’t had any experience in. Wrangling disobedient Spartans had to be a task in and of itself. It didn’t make it right, but it was no wonder Doctor Halsey felt the need to suppress them so harshly.

“Maybe.. we go to Rubble,” I began to compromise. “Just until The Keystone is secure. And then—“

“We change course with {Y/N},” Cortana finished for me. “An idea worth considering, when headquarters is more than likely pinpointing and pursuing various locations in the area already. If they manage to grab her, it’s your head on the chopping block later.”

But John looked unamused; more so than usual.

“And when Kai gets back to Reach? Without me there—“

“She’ll deal with the consequences. She’s a big girl, Chief. She can handle herself. She knows you’re not exactly the favorite at the moment, but she took the directive and ran with it without question. I, for one, believe in Kai. She exhibits similar traits as you do. I don’t think it’ll take her much work to avoid any unfavorable outcomes for her insubordination— Especially if Halsey needs her to keep quiet. Which she absolutely does.”

Cortana eyed John, but immediately spoke again. “I can tell what you’re thinking. Another missing Spartan wouldn’t look good for anyone. Doctor Halsey would be better off disappearing herself.”

The cogs were turning in his head, it was visible, but The Master Chief stayed adamant.

“We almost lost her on the field,” John responded, staring back at me instead. He seemed to peel his eyes away again to head back to the front of the ship. “She locked up, panicked. She nearly got herself killed at a critical moment. I can leave {Y/N} with Soren and Kwan. I’m sure they’ll figure it out from there until the heat dies down. Safely.”

I could only stare as the two countered one another. They both seemed to have their reasonings. But it almost hurt to hear that he was just going to dump me back on Rubble like.. nothing. Never to be seen again. I knew I had been the one coming around, my perspective of the Spartan shifting into something more favorable. It was probably silly of me to assume he’d been warming up to me, too. Clearly, it was.

“It was a learning experience,” Cortana began again. “Just look how Kai has handled since! You’re forgetting, if she’s already executed the objective, she’s steps ahead of the credit you’re currently giving her. Odds are she was already in hot water for not showing up with Riz and Vannak when you were in the process of escaping with {Y/N}, anyway. She’s a Spartan, Chief. She’s got more than what it takes.”

It felt nice to have someone on my side, fighting for what I wanted. Though I highly doubted Cortana was doing it for my sake, probably John’s more than anything, it was welcome all the same.

“Please, Master Chief..” was all I could silently utter, my voice lost in their conversation.

I couldn't explain the real reason that I tried to bury; that I didn’t feel safe without him near anymore, especially after the way he’d protected me so readily when we were being chased. Giving into emotion just a little more, it meant something to me. Where I’d often felt as though no one cared, he showed me otherwise just moments ago. And whether it was the hero complex I thought the soldiers maintained or not, I found myself uncaring of that aspect. His humanity continued to shine through with each little gesture. I couldn’t ignore that.

Even if he wanted to leave me back on Rubble. He did mention my safety..

————

When I looked into her eyes, it was almost unnerving, the pleading she was doing with me. Not because it made me uneasy, but because I didn’t know how to give her what she wanted with the best possible outcome.

After everything that happened, how could I deny her the one thing she asked for? I had no other place to take her, to leave her. Especially not one where I knew she’d be safe. I’d only known where previous missions had sent Silver Team. No planet was truly secure.

I didn’t know why I cared that she’d be safe. I let Cortana’s words roll back around in my head.

‘Smitten.’

Was that the instinct I felt? I felt compelled to make sure Kwan Ha was in good hands, but this? This was entirely different all the way around. There was no connection with Kwan, just making sure the right thing was done when they’d ordered Article 72 on an innocent person. My first real leap into the world of right and wrong.

But smitten… Smitten was extremely close to ‘love’ and other heavy emotions that seemed too daunting to take on and way beyond my scope. I silently hoped the feeling was controllable when I forced myself to look away from {Y/N} and head back to the cockpit.

Still, I stopped in the entryway, turning to face her again. There was an odd pull toward her that was suddenly constantly eating at me. I pushed myself to ignore it.

And for once in my entire life as an armored Spartan, I felt grotesquely monstrous in my Mjolnir— like the demon they all claimed me to be; intimidating when I didn’t intend it. The girl had been shaken enough. She deserved something softer, less imposing. These things we’d dealt with weren’t easy for anyone to handle. I could see the way she still faintly trembled, and our first encounter in the abandoned house on Rubble came to mind. It was surprising to see what she could withstand.

Maybe she would’ve made a decent marine after all.

“We’ll go to Rubble,” I began, noticing the way her face immediately fell. “And then Eridanus II.”

Her chest seemed to deflate with a sigh of relief, her eyes closing briefly. It was going to be hell for us both if they found us, but I just couldn’t disappoint her anymore in that regard. That was the only place remotely empty that I knew. I’d decide what to do with The Keystone once we’d settled.

“Cortana, do you have the coordinates to our last locale on Eridanus? My, last locale,” I corrected.

“Of course,” she said, not missing a beat. “I’ll pull it up.”

Finding my way back into the seat, I let my body relax as much as I could without fighting it. My eyes were heavy, and while that was a rare occurrence, I was beginning to feel the effects of the day. Staring out into the vastness of space, I spoke as quietly as I possibly could when I noticed Cortana had sized herself back down and stood in the same spot on the panel she’d been before.

“What is this that I’m feeling, really?” I asked.

A smirk placed itself on her features.

“I’m serious, Cortana.”

The A.I. dropped her act, holding her hands behind her back and pondering for only a few seconds.

“As I mentioned previously, it could have something to do with the connection you two share over the Keystone. Or…” She lifted her chin just so. “You’ve found some kind of kinship in her. She understands you, and you’ve lacked said familiar biological source for quite some time, if always. It’s possible that alone has your heart racing when you‘re around her. This seems to happen often in humans who are less experienced in the ways of human interaction. Teenagers are more susceptible, for instance, and it’s like what your species would call ‘puppy love,’ if you will. Given your status with the pellet being removed for the first time since adolescence, it’s not an unnatural response.”

“Stop,” I held my hand up. “L—,”

I shook my head, unable to finish the thought.

“That’s not what this is. It has to be the Keystone.”

“If you say so,” she muttered through her teeth, clearly unbelieving of my statement.

I glanced behind my shoulder, noticing {Y/N} had curled herself back up into a ball as far down the ship as possible against the interior, her frame illuminated only by the starlight that poured in through the windows. The sight of her in that position kicked up a sensation of what I recognized to be empathy. It wasn’t as tolerable as I thought it would be.

The previously mentioned ‘hug’ surfaced back into my thoughts.

“Devil's advocate,” I began again, still quiet, though I was sure {Y/N} couldn’t hear anything past our voices murmuring. “What if that is what I’m feeling?”

“Well, Chief, I’m afraid I can’t help you much in that department. I’m in your neural interface, but your emotions and decisions are your own. How you decide to act on that is entirely up to you. You’ve already tested my limits, remember?”

She cocked a brow.

Always helpful, this one.

“I don’t know how to act on it. I don’t.. Does she…”

“Feel the same way?” she questioned, leaning forward to get a better look at me before glancing in her direction, too.

I stayed silent. I’d never felt so.. juvenile. Even as kids, this kind of subject matter was the furthest thing from our minds.

“I can’t speak for her. But, the cues I’ve picked up on might insinuate that she isn’t opposed to your presence.”

“Isn’t opposed to my presence,” I snorted indignantly. “You’ve really got a way with words.”

“Oh, I’m the one ruining your idea of love?”

A scowl placed itself on my features. The word just sounded like it would taste bitter on my own tongue. It wasn’t an idea I had at all. ‘ Love’ was for the marines who’d grown too close over too long of time away from home, fraternization cases waiting to happen. It meant busted ranks. Distractions on duty. It held no place in a Spartan’s world. The closest thing we had was our loyalty to each other— and even when we lost a brother or sister, it was business as usual.

Until we opened our eyes, of course.

This girl and I, we had no real reason to be engaged in anything of the sort. It didn’t matter to me that this could be a symptom of being repressed for so long. As far as I understood, something that deep that people seemed to value so highly took time. Effort. Energy. All things that had never taken place between us. If I didn’t have an HUD and Cortana, I might not even know her full name. So why did I feel so drawn to her? How could this have happened the way it did? From one minute to the next… It frustrated me above anything else.

But Cortana seemed to throw the idea around like it was normal. Just another cog in the machine. I didn’t care how much {Y/N} and I suddenly ‘understood’ each other; how beautiful I found her. How unfamiliarly gentle she was when she’d taken my hand into hers..

I gritted my teeth, shut my eyes; tried to ignore my own thoughts as they escaped me so easily when it came to letting myself think of her.

The A.I.’s brow furrowed.

“Your levels….” she trailed off before inhaling and starting up again, more seriously than before. “Chief, I know you have little experience in this, and I’m currently incapable of experiencing emotion in the same way you do, but the only directive that seems right, is to follow whatever your heart and instinct is telling you to do. It seems.. And, correct me if I’m wrong— that you’ve already been allowing it to lead the way without even realizing it.”

Cortana looked around, indicating our current situation.

Giving it more thought, there was no correction needed.

————

I opened and closed my palm, wiggling my fingers delicately as I thought of the way he looked when I took his hand. He looked confused, shocked, almost. I wasn’t sure how to take that, and the moment stuck with me more than I thought it would. While I was embarrassed at my own instinct at the time, I didn’t regret my action. If it offered him any sort of solace, any inkling of kindness, it was alright with me. He didn’t pull away from me, and the thought that maybe he felt similarly to the way I did crossed my mind.

John more than likely hated me at this point with all of the extra stress I caused him and countless others. But all I wanted to do was show him that not everyone was so untrustworthy as the people he dealt with; not everyone wanted to gain something from him, or use him up the way he’d been his entire life. He made me feel safe. It seemed silly, especially given his status— the galaxy’s own protector, but I wanted to do the same for him in any way that I could.

Something told me no one ever bothered to make him feel protected. I was sure it was something he never felt he needed, or even gave much thought to.

The wall I’d built simply because of my own jadedness with the world I knew, seemed to be near nonexistent now. He wasn’t happy that Cortana outed his new experience with life and all it entailed to me, but it made all the difference. It allowed me to rethink the way I felt, to reevaluate my own guarded nature with him.

It wasn’t his fault. I’d had no real experience with a Spartan, just what I’d heard, what I’d seen. How blind I suddenly felt about the entire ordeal.

And I’d had enough time to think about what was happening in the present, sitting curled up in the back of the craft. After a while, it occurred to me that I’d never actually expressed my gratitude for his help. While he’d taken me in to begin with, he was now risking everything to get me as far away as possible.

That also meant something. No one had ever tried to right any kind of wrong with me— whether he saw it that way or not.

Without a sound, I stood from my place and quietly moseyed over toward the cockpit. Remaining far enough away, I wanted to provide the two privacy in whatever conversation they were having. It was clear I didn’t need to be privy to it, and I respected that the best I could within the limited space.

“Master Chief?” I called out– though still quietly, provided the area. He immediately turned around to face me.

The movement was so quick, it almost startled me. It reminded me of someone who was waiting for something awful to happen at any given moment, hoping they’d be able to prevent it. I imagined that must've been how he lived his life, and that tugged at my heartstrings. Never being able to fully relax, never knowing what a moment of peace felt like. While I didn’t have it quite as bad, I knew how that could feel, too.

He stared at me without a word, his eyes intense, waiting.

“I never did get to say thank you,” I spoke softly, almost nervous, now. “For taking me out of there.. I’m not sure what Doctor Halsey was going to do with me after the tests were over, but I can’t imagine it would’ve been good.”

He leaned back a little, as though that wasn’t what he expected from me. I supposed there were going to be a lot of ‘unexpecteds’ between us in the time to come.

Cortana peeked over at him, a hint of a smile on her face.

“And thank you, too, Cortana,” I continued, a hand finding its way to my opposite arm, rubbing absently at a bruise from Halsey’s collection of data.

“Don’t mention it,” she quipped happily.

But John remained stoic, intense. He nodded once vaguely, his eyes never leaving mine.

“You’re welcome.”

I bowed my head just a bit before turning around to find my place again. I wasn’t expecting some grand speech or show, his response was enough. All I needed was for him to know that I did appreciate his willingness to throw it all on the line for me. But it was what happened next that surprised me most of all.

“Hey,” John breathed.

I stopped, facing him again in slight shock.

A few seconds passed, and with a heavy sigh, he stood from his place, and lifted an arm in my direction.

Confusion was my initial reaction, and he picked up on that quickly, clearly knowing this would be confusing to anyone. His hand then motioned me in for… a hug. His expression still seemed quite disconnected, but I didn’t take it personally. I was sure it had to be hard for him to even offer up the gesture to begin with.

And while I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, I couldn’t help myself. I needed the comfort. I needed to feel something other than fear and exhaustion. I didn’t want to think that I may have needed some part of him, too. That would’ve been a scarier realization to come to that I wasn’t sure I was ready for, either, especially so soon.

I nearly ran into his arms, uncaring of the bulky, cold metal that encased him. His strong arm latched around my small frame, squeezing gently— so gently in fact, that I wondered if he thought he’d crush me otherwise.

I’d never felt so delicate, and it was even more amusing that the sensation surfaced in the arms of a fully armored Spartan.

But I finally let go.

Melting completely against The Master Chief, I stood, my arms squeezing around his immovable build until they were sore, tears I didn’t know I had left streaming between the rough alloy and my skin. I felt his arm tighten, the other moving to wrap around me in turn as my body shook gently. He must’ve decided my breakdown in his arms was worth the entire embrace.

I couldn’t look up at him, couldn’t try to read what he was thinking or even begin to explain myself. All I could do was feel an insurmountable amount of emotion like a million waves breaking over the shore. And while there was no body heat between us, no extra detail to the touch we shared, it was more than enough.

It was genuine. It was all I needed.

My collapse was no longer just about recent events, but the entirety of my life and how derailed it had become over time. It all tied in together. From being left on Rubble as a child, to being here now, with John. I’d stolen the Keystone, I’d brought this upon myself. But it all seemed intertwined, connected. As though maybe fate had brought me here. To learn about my parents, to help him learn about himself. I was tired, stressed, feeling unstable in more ways than one. He had to be, too. I didn’t care how strong he was or what wars he’d fought and won. There was no way he wasn’t. All of these events had become very, very personal.

There wasn’t another word shared between us, just my sniffling and quiet sobbing that I was unable to control. Typically, I would’ve been slightly mortified to be seen in such a way. But in the mess we were in, there was no room for that. We were fighting the same battle now, just like Cortana said. For the time being, we only had each other. I needed his hug like I needed air— and it hadn’t even occurred to me until it happened.

His hand began to rub my back ever so slightly— he seemed so cautious, so careful for being so large and menacing the green titanium, riddled with dents and pings from our escape. In the midst of it all I tried to put myself in his shoes, to really understand the gravity of just how much he was dealing with, just how much he was possibly losing over me and his mission to search for himself. The bullets he took and the fists he’d faired, the plasma he’d dodged and the reputation he’d garnered.. and not just recently, but for as long as he could remember.

For just a brief moment, while I knew he meant to comfort me, I wondered who the embrace was really for.

-x-x-x-

Tags: @grimistangel

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