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theidiotwhowritesthings · 1 year

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A Fresh Start [18]

Din Djarin x F!Reader

Warnings: self doubt, anxiety, angst

Word Count: 5,514

Updates every Thursday!

Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night, you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you fall more and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn’t meant for everyone.

#18: TALK ABOUT A POWER COUPLE

"the feeling of being curled up in your arms with our fingers intertwined and the soft feel of your breath on my neck can never be put into words, I can, however, tell you that it is where I belong and it is in those arms that I feel at home." -B.R.K.

Grogu bounced on your bed happily as you tucked your scrub shirt into the matching bottoms. “Ma!” You grabbed your white coat. “Ma! Ma! Watch!” Grogu continued to bounce. You turned while pulling your hair out of your face and grinned as he jumped high enough to flip over and land on his back with a laugh. “You now!”

“Silly boy.” You held your arms out and he didn’t hesitate to crawl to his feet then jump into your arms. “Ma has to go to work and you have to get to school. No time for jumping.” Grogu whined in your arms until you began to tickle him. “Where’s your buir?”

“Ih.” Grogu pointed out your door.

You hummed and walked out still holding him. “No, no. Where is he? What do we say?”

Grogu babbled a bit before pushing out half the word, “Chen.”

“Mhmm. Kitchen.” You put emphasis on every bit of the word. “Kitchen.”

“Kitchen.”

You cooed and cheered the little victory and Grogu beamed at the praise. Din stood by the island counter doing something on his communicator. Without looking up, he asked, “What’re we so happy about?”

“Grogu, what room are we in?” You prodded. “Tell buir.”

Din immediately looked up from his communicator⏤ focus solely on his son. The little boy grinned, “Kitchen. Buir, ma, Grogu, in kitchen.”

“Ad’ika, that’s incredible!” Din praised. He held his arms out and you let Grogu crawl over to him. Din held him to his chest and continued to rain more words of love and encouragement on his son. You adored that every milestone, no matter how tiny, Din always got excited. He never held back any amount of affection from the child. Before meeting Din, you would’ve guessed that Mandalorians were distant and cold like their armor, but you had never met a parent so warm and involved. “Did ma teach you that?”

“Lek.” Grogu chirped.

Din tapped his forehead against Grogu’s briefly before setting the boy down. “Now, go get your bag. That’s what I sent you back there to begin with.”

You watched the boy waddle away and when he disappeared through the kitchen arch you turned back to have Din standing right in front of you. Your lips curled up into a grin as you stared up at him. “Well, hi there, Marshal.”

“Doc.” Din greeted in return. One of his hands wrapped around the back of your elbow so he could pull you toward him. Without further prompting, you closed your eyes. Din chuckled in response and you heard a quiet hiss before his lips pressed against yours. The Mandalorian was a very quick learner. His first kiss was supposedly with you three days ago, but the way he kissed you made you doubt if you had really been his first. Din’s tongue traced your lower lip, a warm rush shooting down your spine, and you parted your lips to give him room to explore. Maker, you could spend an eternity just like this.

Ever since that first kiss, Din had been insatiable. If there were a spare moment of the day where he could be kissing you he was. You felt like he was one day away from asking you to walk around blindfolded so he wouldn’t have to waste time with his helmet, and you were so drunk on his lips that if he did ask you wouldn’t hesitate to say yes. Din shifted so he could leave open mouth kisses along your jawline to the shell of your ear then down your throat. You reached up to tangle your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck⏤ you were growing obsessed with the soft curls.

Too soon, Din pulled back and you sighed. He pressed a chaste, simple kiss to your lips before leaving your space. You kept your eyes closed until his heavy helmet pressed against your forehead. A silent way of telling you it was safe to open your eyes. Grogu’s voice called out from behind the two of you and you pulled apart.

“Come on, you little womp rat. Before you’re late for school.” Din scooped Grogu up. You followed the boys out of the house, and the three of you made your way down the street in the early morning air. It was a cozy existence as long as you ignored the ticking time bomb that was their departure. Next week. Din said next week. You had pushed that information aside to emotionally deal with another day. Right now, you only wanted to soak in how perfectly domestic your life felt right now.

There was just one problem.

Din would not fuck you.

Spice never appealed to him. Din didn’t fully understand the concept of becoming so addicted to something that it was all one ever craved. However, if consuming spice had even a fraction of the high Din felt when he was kissing you then he grasped the addiction mindset entirely. Maker. He didn’t know if it was the act of kissing itself that was overwhelming him or if it was just the act of kissing you specifically, but if Din were a betting man he’d know where he’d set his credits.

Din knew you wanted more. If he thought it had been hard to resist pinning you against the wall before it was damn near impossible now with the way you looked at him. The longing he saw in your eyes after he returned his helmet to its rightful place was powerful enough to send him to his knees if he allowed it. The only reason he didn’t, the only reason he was stupid enough to not cross that line, was because of how badly he wanted to do this right. Having you be his first kiss had proven that further to him.

You owned so much of him without even fully realizing it. Din may have had sex before, but you were the first person he had truly been intimate with. In his mind, he couldn’t even consider sex as something intimate. It had always been so focused, impersonal, and goal oriented. Din never shed his armor to have someone see his skin or trace his scars with their lips. Din had never risked putting all his trust in a person to keep their eyes closed so he could remove his helmet and experience a kiss. Din had never been a courting Mandalorian exploring the body of his lover for the sole purpose of memorizing the way his partner’s skin felt against his and the sounds that would leave them. Din Djarin had never made love, and that’s what he wanted with you.

In his eyes, he was looking ahead. Din was building a future with you, and the foundation would be started once he went to Mandalore.

“Okay, but, what happens if you get there and there are no ‘living waters’?” Mayfeld asked from his desk.

Vanth, who was throwing darts at the board on the wall, spoke without looking up, “I think he comes back and kicks your ass for jinxing him, deputy.” Vanth glanced over with a shrug. “Just guessing.”

“It’s Mayfeld.” He corrected and narrowed his eyes.

“Isn’t that what I said?” Vanth smirked.

Din wondered if the city would be left standing when he returned. He ignored the two men who were now distracted with trying to out jab one another. It would be a lie to say Din wasn’t concerned about Mandalore. The stories he heard growing up in the covert described a glassed world of ruin and poison. The fact that this was his introduction to Mandalore was rather sad. Din wasn’t the kind to linger on this kind of line of thinking though. He needed to bathe in the living waters so that’s exactly what he was going to do. End of story.

You motioned to the three jars in the middle of the row, “These?”

Aayla thought for only a second before nodding with a smile, “Cymbopogan, Echinops, and Panicum. Ingredients for anti-pyretics.”

“Good.” You praised. “And⏤”

“Doctor?” You and Aayla both turned at the sound of Miriam’s voice. She had poked her head into the room. “Your, uh, cousin is here?”

You chuckled at the confusion in her voice and let her know Nima could come back. Aayla turned to the supply shelf and said she’d do quick inventory with restock. You thanked her and began to leave when Nima came storming in.

“Alright, so I def saw Mando walking you into work this morning, and you guys are literally the cutest.” Nima said. She jumped onto a cot and crossed her legs. “I mean, talk about a power couple. The marshal and the medic of Nevarro.”

“We’re technically not a couple.” You chuckled.

“You’re saying that to the person who already declared you two married.” Nima shook her head. “This is a losing argument on your part.”

“Fine. What do you need?” You asked. Nima pointed to her arm and you shook your head. “No. I told you. Weeks, not hours. You are not getting this damn brace⏤”

“Maker, will you chill??” Nima groaned. “I just want you to clear me for light duty.” You opened your mouth to scold her again, and Nima quickly cut in. “And by light duty I mean walking around the garage and organizing tools or something.”

You crossed your arms skeptically. “Nima, can you seriously be in a garage and keep yourself from working? You’re healing so well, but if you slip up and injure yourself⏤”

“I know. I swear I’ll be good.” Nima replied. “But, I am dying at home without something to do. Please. Peli said she’d be okay with me doing light work, and she was super serious about keeping me from the real stuff.”

You did trust Peli to keep Nima from getting too crazy. The only person in this city who may be more protective over the Twi’lek than you was the mechanic. Besides, you knew how much of a busy body Nima was. She was constantly on the move, and the fact that she had managed to be good for this long was basically a miracle. Especially considering the recent loss of love with Cara. You offered her a soft smile and stepped forward to examine her arm.

“Alright,” You made sure each of the brace’s locks were tight and in place, “You can do light work, but I’m serious about staying away from anything other than organizing.” Nima bounced in place with a wide grin. “No heavy lifting. Literally none. If it weighs more than ten pounds, you get someone else to pick it up.”

“Deal!” Nima squealed and threw her arms around you. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Mhmm.”

“So,” She drew the word out while pulling away to sit back on the cot, “How are you feeling?” You raised an eyebrow and shook your head. Nima rolled her eyes. “About Mando leaving, dummy.” You winced at the painful reminder and Nima noticed. “Sorry.”

You forced a smile. “It’s fine. I just… I’m trying not to think about it.”

“Not to make you think about it more by asking, but… do you know how long he’ll be gone?”

“Nope.” You answered quickly, and it wasn’t a lie.

It wasn’t that Din was trying to withhold that truth from you. He had been sincere when he told you that he truly didn’t know. He hoped it’d be two weeks at the most, but he couldn’t guarantee it. That terrified you to your core. Maker forbid anything happen to Din or Grogu. You didn’t think you could survive that.

“They’re going to be okay.” Nima set her arm on your shoulder. “Mando is such a badass. He’s⏤ He’s invincible with all that beskar, you know?”

You chuckled. “Of course.”

But you knew that was far from the truth.

Kurt never expected to lose Soran so suddenly and violently, but the world still took her. She was gone in a blink of an eye, and she hadn’t even been throwing herself head first toward a poisoned and maybe cursed planet.

In your eyes, you needed to take advantage of every moment⏤ cherish it⏤ as nobody ever knew how many moments they had left. It all just started with you taking that terrifying leap of putting yourself out there. A plan settled in your mind.

“I think I found someone with an interest to come work here in medicine.” Karga said. Din sat comfortably in the chair placed in front of Karga’s desk while the High Magistrate paced behind the desk. He had been called here for a meeting, but it seemed Karga just wanted a sounding board of some kind. “But we need another deputy, I think. Don’t know if two is enough while you’re gone, and I’m still not so sure about Mayfeld and this Vanth fella working together.”

“They’ll be fine.” Din replied. If it came down to it, Din trusted both men in a fight and had no doubt they’d be able to set aside any differences for the safety of all. Probably. “Just focus on getting that second physician. That should be your priority.”

“Fine.” Karga grumbled. “Looking out for your woman. Respectable.” Din sighed and kept his body still enough to convey annoyance to the High Magistrate, but his lips still curled up into a small smile. His. You were his. Technically, Din should ask you how you felt on that topic, but he personally liked that most of the city considered you taken by him The possessive side of him preened at that notion. “While you’re out, you planning on saying hello to Daelar?”

“If I have the time.” Absolutely. The answer was absolutely. It was going to be the first stop he made, and as if fate was on his side the world Daelar was hiding on was on the way to Mandalore anyways. Din would keep it quiet though.

“Technically, the bounty is for him to be brought in alive.” Karga added.

“I know.” Din replied. He just didn’t care.

“Well, we need⏤” Karga began, but Din’s communicator began to beep. He glanced down at his vambrace to see who was reaching out to him, and when he realized it was your frequency number he connected the call to his helmet. Din called out your nickname, and Karga threw his hands up. “Really, Mando, I⏤”

Din held a hand up to keep the Magistrate from talking any further. Your voice greeted him, “Hey, are you busy right now?”

“Of course not. I can speak.” Din said as Karga set his hands on his hips. “Is something wrong?”

“No! Nothing. I, um, Grogu is going over to a friend’s house after school. I spoke to their parents and they said they’d walk Grogu home around dinner time.” You replied. Din glanced at the clock in Karga’s office. It was about half an hour until the normal pick up time.

Din nodded. “Sure. That’s fine.”

“And, I was thinking,” You began and Din noted a nervous energy in your voice, but it also held excitement so he wasn’t too concerned, “If you’re not busy maybe you could meet me at home? Kind of a mid-day break?”

“Alright.” Din chuckled and pushed to stand. “I’ll see you soon, then?”

“Yes! See you soon!”

Din hung up and gave Karga his attention once more. He shrugged, “I have to go.”

“Is this work related or personal?” Karga questioned. “Because I will remind you that I am your employer.”

“I’m aware. Call Vanth if you need anything.” Din gave the man a small wave before walking out.

With his departure date quickly arriving, Din wanted to spend any spare moment he could with you. This would be the first time he left a place behind and craved to go back to this degree. Even back during his main bounty hunting years, he always had Grogu with him. Din traveled with his family so there was no sense of longing. He actually felt guilt as well. As much as Din loved having Grogu around, he never loved how easily the boy could fall into danger, and Din was fully aware of how dangerous this upcoming trip could be. With you, he finally had a safe place to leave Grogu, but Din hated the idea of leaving you on a world to be a single parent while also trying to juggle a new job that asked so much of you.

His best bet was to just be back as soon as possible. Unless things went wildly out of control, Din was guessing he could be back in a little over two weeks. That was two weeks too many, but he knew how to be efficient. Plus, having you at home waiting for him would be the best kind of motivation to hurry.

When his home came into view, Din’s pace increased. He expected to be greeted by you when he stepped in, but was instead met by an empty kitchen and living room. Had he beaten you here? Din called out and was quickly met with your faint reply.

“I’m back here!”

Curious, Din entered the back hall and followed your voice. Din realized your voice was coming from his room, but he didn’t think anything of it until he stepped into the doorway. You were sitting on the edge of his made bed wearing nothing but undergarments and one of his shirts. Din stiffened and the sudden but immediate hunger he had for you slammed into him like a racing landspeeder.

“Hey there, Marshal.” You greeted.

Din felt the air leave him. As if an airlock had been opened and sucked the oxygen right out of his lungs. In his mind, he could already feel your warm skin under his bare hands⏤ could feel your soft lips between his. Din wanted to peel off the remaining clothes you had on, and explore every inch of you with his mouth alone. He wanted to take the memory of you moaning beneath him to Mandalore.

“You just gonna stand there all day?” You asked.

Maker, you were perfect.

Anticipation mingled with desperation and desire as Din began to cross the room to you. He tore off his gloves, tossing them aside, and you straightened your spine⏤ eager. Din was only a few steps away when he came to an abrupt stop. You frowned watching as his hands clenched and unclenched. There was tension in his entire frame.

“Din?” You questioned.

“I⏤ We⏤” Din cleared his throat and shook his head. “Uh, no.”

It was almost funny how a single word composed of only two little letters could turn every ounce of want into shame. You could feel every inch of your skin burn in embarrassment. “Right.” You quickly shoved yourself to stand. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I⏤ Sorry.”

You tried to rush away, but Din caught you by your arms and held you in front of him. He shook his head, but you tried to avoid letting your eyes land on his dark visor. “No, I didn’t mean⏤ Ner kar’ta, please let me explain.” You pressed your lips together and Din didn’t speak again until you focused your gaze back on him. “Can you⏤ Do you trust me?”

“You know I do.” You mumbled.

Din let his hands leave you hesitantly and you watched him dig through his drawers until he found what he was looking for. He returned with a long sleeve shirt, folding it up, and he brought it toward you to hold it up in front of you. Understanding what he wanted, you gave him a small nod. Din softly set the folded portion against your eyes and used the sleeves to tie it behind your head.

With your vision gone, you felt a whole new sense of vulnerability added into the mix.

The sound of Din’s helmet being removed⏤ the familiar hissing sound you were growing to adore⏤ filled the air. Seconds later, Din’s hands were cupping your face and you felt his forehead against yours. “Din…” He took in a shaky breath, and you raised your own hands to cover his. “Din, you said no. I’m… I’m okay with that. I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want⏤”

“Don’t want?” Din let out a low chuckle that gave you goosebumps. “Ner kar’ta, I have never wanted something⏤ someone⏤ more in my entire life.” His words re-ignited the spark you had lost in fear. Din let his hands trail down your body until they reached your hips and he pulled you tight against him. His own hips pressed against yours and the hardness you felt made a hot pool of desire curl in your belly. You let out a soft gasp. Din kept one hand on your hips, squeezing his fingers into your skin, while his other traveled back up to cup your neck. His thumb traced your jawline. “Listen to me ner kar’ta, every single day it takes all my self control to not tear your clothes off and fuck you against the closest piece of furniture.”

Maker, you were dizzy with want. Any self doubt or embarrassment you had felt was gone. There was no room for anything other than desire. Din peppered soft kisses along the side of your face until he found your lips. His tongue darted out to brush against your lower lip. You parted them, wanting to feel him closer, but rather than exploring your mouth further Din instead took your lower lip between his and sucked. You moaned and he released your lip.

He stayed in your space, his hot breath against your mouth, and when he spoke his lips brushed against yours. “Then, you call me in here, sit on my bed, in my shirt, so pretty, and tempt me even further? Ner mesh’la kar’ta. I am not that strong.”

Din went back to lazily pressing his lips along your jaw to the shell of your ear. You tilted your head up and he continued down your neck. Slowly, lingering inch by inch, Din would alternate between letting his teeth graze your skin followed by his tongue.

“In case⏤” You sucked in a sharp breath as his teeth found a sensitive spot. “In case it isn’t blatantly clear, I am very much okay with you losing a little self control, Din.”

He chuckled, the sound reverberating against you, and he pulled your collar aside just so he could press one more kiss to your collarbone. “I’m picking up on that. But…” Maker, you’ve never hated a word so much before, “I… I⏤ Dank farrik, this is going to sound so stupid.”

There was a nervous, almost embarrassed tone, in his voice that gave you pause. Din began to pull back, but you wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him in place. “Hey, no it isn’t. Talk to me, Din.”

He sighed. “Sex has always been…impersonal to me. If I’m being honest, I probably couldn’t tell you half the names of the people I've slept with and I⏤ I’ve never been with the same woman twice.” To be honest, you hadn’t given his previous romantic life much thought at all. “It was just always clinical. A means to an end. And you’re the… you’re the first person I want more with.”

“Din…” Your lips curled into a smile.

“And I get that waiting until I’m Mandalorian once more, and properly courting you, is a nuance if anything but⏤”

“But you want that.” You finished for him softly.

“I’m sorry.” Din sighed.

“No, don’t.” You pushed yourself up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “Don’t apologize for that. I get it, Din.” You beamed at him in reassurance. “I kind of feel special now.”

Din let out a quiet scoff. “You are special, and if you’re only feeling that way now then I haven’t done a good enough job making it known.” He squeezed your hips. “I’m curious what brought this on though. In the middle of the day, no less.” You hesitated, hoping he didn’t catch on, but Din was painfully observant at times. He pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek. “Hey. Your turn. Talk to me.”

You chuckled. “I… I was scared.”

“You wanted me to fuck you because you were scared?”

A laugh left your lips and you wrapped your arms around him tighter. You rested your head against his shoulder. “Things can go wrong so fast.” Your smile faltered. “You never know how long you have until time runs out.” You could feel Din stiffen. He slowly untangled himself from your arms. “Din?”

“Don’t move.” He mumbled.

You felt him step away and you nervously played with your hands. Din was moving about and it only took a couple minutes before you could feel him approaching you once more. Arms scooped you right off the floor and you yelped in surprise⏤ your arms winding around his neck as Din held you bridal style. He had removed his armor and the upper half of his flight suit from what you could tell.

Din knelt on the bed, laying you down before half settling over you. He was pressed against your side, and from what you could tell he was caging you in with his arms. Din leaned in and pulled you into a kiss. He immediately deepened it with his hand cupping under your neck to tilt your head up to him. You lost yourself in him⏤ drunk on the sensation of his tongue against yours. When he finally pulled back, you were breathless and panting. He shifted and pressed his lips against your ear.

“Ner kar’ta.” His voice, low and hoarse with desire, filled your chest with warmth. “I will return to you. There is nothing in this galaxy that could keep me from you.” You released a shuddering breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “And when I return, I plan to make you mine in every definition of the word. I swear this to you.”

Tears welled up and you were glad to have his t-shirt there to soak them up before they could be seen. Nothing could stop the shaky gasp that left you. Din rolled onto his back, bringing you with him, and he wrapped his arms around you while you laid against him. Your head resting on his chest. Din turned his own head so he could whisper loving words in Basic and Mando’a while pressing kisses to where he could reach between each phrase.

His hand dragged up and down your spine, and you found comfort in the motion. You had sought intimacy with Din and you had found it. Perhaps, it wasn’t in the way you initially planned or thought it would be, but never had you felt closer to another human soul than right now.

You told yourself you weren’t going to cry, and it was taking every bit of strength you had to follow through on that. Saying good-bye to Grogu had been the moment to nearly push you over the edge. You knew you loved the little boy, knew he had crawled into you very heart and soul and nestled in there, but trying to say good-bye had solidified that knowledge. So, you kept it brief. Hugged and kissed him and now you watched as Peli bounced the chipper little boy in her arms.

“We’ll be back soon.” Din murmured. You turned to face your Mandalorian and another wave of sadness and fear slammed into you. Worst case scenarios were swirling in your head and left you breathless. Din reached out and set his hands on your arms. “I gave you my word.”

“I know.” Your voice cracked and you swallowed it down.

Din pulled you closer, resting his hands on your lower back, while he softly set his forehead against yours. The two of you had said a more intimate good-bye this morning before Grogu awoke. Like days before, you had just laid in his arms. The two of you switching from sharing whispered reassurances and tender kisses. You didn’t think Din would want to show any sign of PDA out in the open, but he didn’t seem to care with the way he bunched you into his arms.

“Please be careful.” You pleaded. “Both of you.”

“We will.”

You closed your eyes, letting out a shuddering breath, and just focused on the metal pressing against your forehead and the weight of his leather gloved hands on your back. Your own hands had wrapped around his neck, and the tips of your fingers found the hidden, bare skin of his neck between his helmet and shirt.

“Ni aalar sha yaim ti gar, ner kar’ta.” Din whispered.

You recognized the words, he had mumbled them to you a number of times, but it was a phrase he had never translated for you. You lightly squeezed the back of his neck, “Can I know now? You said you’d tell me one day.”

Din chuckled, “I did, didn’t I?” You opened your eyes and gave him a small nod, making sure to keep your head in contact with his. Din released a breathy sigh and repeated himself, “Ni aalar sha yaim ti gar.” He paused. “I feel at home with you.” At his translation, you took in a sharp breath of surprise. The first time he whispered that to you had been ages ago, on the first night he had to leave for work and you slept in his bed. That long ago, he had known enough to make that claim. “Ner kar’ta.” Your lower lip quivered and you bit down on it to keep from tearing up. Din finished his translation in a soft voice, and you could hear the smile he wore. “My heart.”

Tears filled your eyes and you let out a laugh. You pulled yourself tighter to him so you could bury your face in the crook of his neck and hug him tightly. Din didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a grip that could bruise your rib cage. You didn't care. If you could somehow be closer to him you’d do it.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Din.” You kept your words as quiet as possible, whispering his name, and Din squeezed you again.

He shifted and you forced yourself to untangle yourself from him. Din settled a hand on the side of your face, thumb swiping away a tear that had managed to slip out. He gave you a firm nod. “I’ll call you, every chance I get, but if you need anything⏤ if anything happens⏤”

“I’ll call you.” You nodded in agreement. “Don’t worry about me. Just keep Grogu and yourself safe, alright?”

“Of course.” Din softly tapped his forehead against yours once more before taking a large step back. You didn’t blame him. If he stayed within your reach any longer you didn’t think you’d ever let him go. Din would be fine. Grogu would be fine. They’d be back before you even knew it.

At least, that’s what you repeatedly told yourself.

Din knew leaving you behind was going to be tough, but seeing you yards away standing next to Nima as you waved was devastating. He’d have to leave quickly or he’d end up changing his mind. Peli came up beside the N-1 and handed Grogu over.

“You two be safe out there!” She commanded. “And bring back this ship in one piece or I swear⏤”

“We will, Peli.” Din settled Grogu on his lap. “Keep an eye on her for me?”

Peli gave him a nod. “You know we all will. Just get your kriffing ass back soon. We’re all gonna miss little bright eyes here so much.”

Din chuckled as the mechanic backpedaled away. This was almost just like old times, but it felt so different. Grogu shifted on his lap, as if looking for something, and then he pointed out of the ship, “Ma, sit where?” Din stiffened. He had wondered why the kid handled this situation so well and cheery, and now it made sense why. Grogu just assumed you’d be with them⏤ unable to fathom anything different. Grogu, getting more riled up, began to pout. “Ma, sit where??”

Panicked, Din closed the cockpit’s glass and began lift off before Grogu could start his full meltdown.

Maker, this was going to be the longest trip of his life.

a/n: i know y'all are probs dying for the eventual smut i promised, and i swear it is coming. in my defense, i did warn you this was going to be a painfully long slow burn. it's my go-to move. more so though, the intimacy i really REALLY wanted to explore in this story is emotional intimacy b/c I feel like (my own personal headcanon) is that Din Djarin has been with people in the past, but he'd never been emotionally intimate with someone like the reader in this story. so i promise that smut is coming, but this is the kind of stuff i really love writing.

taglist:

@aheadfullofsteverogers @yyiikes @kneelforloki @c-ms1ut @sgt-morgan @luthienaliceisilra @fawn-kitten @missbabyjay @coldlamaspersonspy @dilfsaremyfavourite @jamesbuckybarnes @yorkeylover @teawrites01 @emily-roberts @djarinxore @impala1967666 @shelbyteller @faithrenner @dindjarindude @dankfarrick29 @rh1nestonecowg1rl @garbo-lesbo @anythingforattention @tearfulsolace @onceinamando @catharinaroxastova @uwu-i-purple-you @modiddys-blog @harriedandharassed @stagerightlauren @mini-bees @xxinvisblexx @adoringanakin @sagegreensensei @spidey-3 @sydney-1209 @thepascalofus @hrtsforpascal @banana-lol @daybleedsintonightfall11 @lil-dragon-draws @guccistardust @ideajpeg @leithatnight @elfamosotoga @damnzelsoul @the-anchored-sailor-girl @morks-watermelon @katelynmarieyt @taylorann2013 @chonkercatto @dheet

#the mandalorian #din djarin #din djarin x reader #din djarin x you #mando #mando x reader #mando x you #mandalorian x reader #mandalorian x you #mandalorian fanfic #grogu #peli motto #female reader #reader insert #pedro pascal characters #a fresh start #slow burn #domestic bliss!din djarin

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whynotjohnlock · 5 months

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Doctor x ADHD reader

^ My mental state at any given time when anyone asks about what happened yesterday.

Warnings: fluff, It might be a tad long, Grammar mistakes, you may feel slightly offended if you're a nerotipical person, the author wrote this because they didn't want to sleep and needed comfort.

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You'd forgotten something again. Was it about your job? Your family? Your friends you hadn't kept up with because you had misremembered the dates for? That one hyper fixation that you had today?

Nothing matched. Your brain was screaming at you for the time you wasted rethinking about what you had forgotten; but nothing came to mind.

A normal day then.

Then, as a distraction from your thoghts a high tech laser blaster thing punched through a brick wall and you started running for your life. Again.

There were alien pepper shaker robots with plungers. Why where they just repeating themselves over and over? Was that just how they spoke, or was there more to it? Was it nessasary to the way they shot lasers?

"Exterminate! Exterminate!" A laser jolted and swished right next to you.

"Right, I have to run."

And run.

And run. Except, now you had to not crash onto the person-

To late.

"Oh, hello humans! Is this your way of saying hello? Did I miss a decade?"

You reluctanly graped the strange man's hand. You were not fazed by the oddness in the queston; your thoghts were stranger. "I don't think so. It's just the fact that there are alien pepper shakers with plungers after us."

The man's face darkened, his youthful peesona flown out the window. "Where?"

You knew that the police would be of no help and the sadness in this man's eyes seemed to be familiar. "Can you help us if I tell you?"

"Short answer: Most likely."

"Now witch way?"

The question prompted eternal panic. Witch way was left? You couldn't remember. Were you facing north or south? You couldn't just point in a direction, because you had run in a extremely non-linear way.

Words had never been an accurate source of communication for you. Why were you this way? Well, you knew why; you had been diagnosed with ADHD, but that didn't answer your question. Why did you always forget the things you wanted to remember most? The strange man looked rather inpatient at your mental sputtering. You had to do something! So, you did the only thing you could think of at the time. Quickly you grabbed his outstretched hand and ran, guiding him though the chaotic path you had taken.

Your mind had not managed to retain much running for your life, but your feet did.

...Pass the blue house.

...Turning 90 degrees at the broken stop sign.

...Jaywalking around the stopped cars in the street.

...Turning again after the nameless black dog.

...Though a corporate building.

…And to the familiar building with the tin tanks.

your hand still fully clasped with this stranger you had just met, you spoke in between panting and gasping for air. "This is it. These are the alien metal tank creatures."

As if on cue, the screams not even across the blook started up again and an army of daleks (Not that you knew what they were called at the time) turned into view.

The madman lurched forward in outrage much like a predator looming in on their prey. He was unnerving. "Alright listen up! I am the Doctor, and you are the daleks! You have no right to this world, and It’s protected by none other than me. And you have made a grave mistake messing with me when I don’t have a companion, or anyone to holding me back. Leave before I run out of mercy."

"THE DOCTOR IS UNARMED. WE WILL DO NO SUCH THING."

EXTERMINATE!

A laser shot from the thingy that would have hit the silly man instead wiped by him as I pulled him into a run again.

Hiding behind a dumpster in an abandoned alley the Doctor fiddled around with a metal glowy stick and welded something together from his pockets quickly. "What are you doing?"

"No time to explain, get me some sort of electrical circuit board!"

"Will my phone work?"

Wordlessly the Doctor takes my phone, prys it from it's cashing, snaps it in half, and conects it to a very peculiar looking device.

EXTERMINATE!

The Daleks find us again but this time we don't run. The Doctor chucks the machine at the invasion party they aim towards us ready to end us.

EXTER-

The Doctor aims his tech stick toward the sky causing his device to activate. The result is instantaneous. Every dalek that was in front of us and firing ends up blowing up in several malformed chunks.

More daleks screech out words as they approach us. "EXPLAIN! EXPLAIN!"

"Ha! I've rerouted the your primary weapon to your self-distruct sequence by changing the commands signals! The doctor is never helpless unarmed, you lot should know that by now."

"RETREAT! RETREAT!"

The Daleks start to be enveloped by an otherworldly white glow and disappear all at once.

The mad man seems to return to an upbeat face and seems to slip his mask back on seamlessly as if the darkness never touched his eyes. He looked again to be a harmless Nerodiverrgent, clumsy and meek as if he hadn't just felled a armada of aliens ready to destroy the earth. he muttered under his breath about inter-galactic law, blissfully unaware of all the odd looks his direction who believed him insane.

It reminded you of the mask you had to put up for all the "Normal" people in your life. How many times had you stopped being every thing you were just for a brief connection?

"Hello, I think introductions are in order! what did you say your name was?"

You plunged back into the real world from your thoghts. "Y/N."

"Well, Y/N, you seem awfully calm considering your planet was just invaded."

"I could say the same thing about you. Also how did you do all that? Are you even human?"

"I'm the Doctor." The man enthusiasticly spoke as if that explained the anomalys of the day.

"Is the your last name or did you just have mean parents that named you Doctor?"

"I'm not human, and it's common for my species to have titles we choose for names."

"Right. I suppose another alien species isn't the weirdest thing that's happened today."

The Doctor broke out into a brilliant little grin. And reached into his coat pocket to grab a little black wallet thing. "Hold on I want to see if I'm right real quick. What's on this paper?"

"Um, It's blank?" I don't think I was catching whatever the silly man wanted me to see.

"You are clever! I knew it! And I do need a companion after...." The Doctor pauses in sorrow and pain.

"Y/N, how would you like to come with me?"

"Um, do you travel or something?"

"Oh, I forgot to mention it, haven't I? I go to lots and lots of different places and meet all sorts of aliens all the time. I hope you know most of them aren't like the Daleks. Millions of planets and galaxys and pulsars and planets up in the sky, one day I'll see them all."

It took a while to comprehend what silly man had just said. You adored the stars. And now this man you'd just met had really just asked you to go with him to see and go to places humans wouldn't go for maybe billions of years!? To boldy go were no one has gone before? (I'm an unapologetically ing references and I'm not sorry.) Was this heaven? Had you died in the Dalek attack?

"That sounds utterly fantastic! You're sure you want someone like me?"

"What are you talking about? You just saved my life and were fearless in the face of a world ending threat. If course I want someone like you."

"I just, usually people don't like the way I think."

The Doctor almost seemed offended. "Do I look like a usual person?"

"Good point."

I looked down in slight embarrassment for bringing it up.

"Hey look at me." The Doctor softly grabbed my shoulder and I tilted my face up to meet his sincere eyes.

"You know what I've found in my nine hundred years of life? I found out the people who get called Quiet or shy have the most interesting thoughts. I found out that the loneliest people end up being the kindest, that the people with disabilities have so much more grit and determination than the people that don't, that the people called slow are the most brilliant when they're done analyzing. that the so called freaks and weirdos of the world are twice as clever and twice as kind."

"Do you know why?" I was near tears and shook my head.

"Because people like you and me have to work twice as hard only to get half as far. We have strength, far beyond that the average eye can see because we're trying to make up for faults by working twice as hard. Our struggles make us more resilient, more creative, and better people. We take it apon ourselves to attempt to appear normal in an attempt to make connections, when in really they should be the ones understanding us."

"You humans are so silly we it comes to different ways of thinking. On gallifrey, you'd be celebrated, not punished for what you call a quote 'disorder'."

I hugged him. I hugged him harder and tighter than any stranger I'd ever hugged before.

Tears. Happy tears flew down my cheek. I loved this stranger, not for his looks or wacky demeanor.

But because there is that silly man's arms I knew again what it felt like to be understood.

We were standing in a world of unknowns, at top a street that had just been invaded but I knew one thing:

"I want to travel with you, Doctor."

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A/N: I'm sorry if you personally don't feel represented in the way I wrote (Y/N) having ADHD and ADD, but I want you to know that I'm only trying to share my experiences as I myself have been diagnosed. I don't want to shame anyone that shares my experiences; just bring them into the light.

#doctor who #doctor x reader #10th doctor #gender neutral reader #doctor who x male reader #11th doctor #tenth doctor #12th doctor #eleventh doctor #10th doctor x reader #adhd

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isa-ghost · 2 months

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amfmn missa.. p please.. please mother … feed us

I'M BEING ENABLED PPOVERHEAT

He's an actual grim reaper. That's where he's disappeared to so often in canon, reaper duties. It's a very demanding job, you know.

Doesn't stop him from feeling terrible about being gone so often though. He misses his husband and kids and hates how often he's out of the loop :(

Fr though Phil and the kids make him so so happy after spending countless hours working such a sad job. It's also partially why he sings and makes art. That brand of fun is catharsis for the soul.

He has all his canon weapons but I ALSO gave him a reaper deathscythe. And boy is he gonna use it. Fucking AWOOGA MissaSinfonia when he's angry.

Btw as a reaper he can FEEL souls. He can see their power, their condition, feel the surface level emotions and personality of its owner. This will come in handy later in the fic. ;)

As per the post I made asking for Missa appreciation so I can characterize him properly: He's undyingly loyal, he fights hard and loves even harder, he's protective, silly, and goddamn can he flirt.

All his wet cat behavior is a result of getting too overwhelmed by The Horrors. He's seen A Lot as a reaper. But somehow Quesadilla Island and all its... Everything. Always manage to show him a new brand of What The Fuck he's never even imagined before. Hence all his screaming and weeping when he's caught up on what he's missed. Like how tf else is he supposed to react??

Somewhat attached to that, he and Phil rlly were a match made in Federation Heaven bc they both have issues with self-doubt despite being insanely skilled and sharp-witted. Missa is better abt it than Phil though. His only acts up when he messes up a lot or just. Doesn't have a clue how to handle a situation where it's dire that he does. It's more of an insecurity about being unprepared and failing his loved ones than it is a doubt he has skill. He KNOWS he does, he hates when it's not enough. That's how he differs from Phil, who thinks he has none at all.

Btw when you fuck with the people he's protective over, he gets PISSED. We're getting a LOT of pissed off Missa in AMFMN <3 Ofc there'll be a lot of reaper tears too, his husband is suffering and there's little he can do about it. :( But ohohoho when the sad turns into rage. BARK WOOF. Eventually he decides EK is catching these hands and scythe.

He also shakes hands with his husband on being a self-sacrificing little shit. And. Yeah this is gonna happen later in the fic. (He's not dying dw dw)

You have no idea how excited I am that I basically get to build his dynamics with Fit, Etoiles, and Bagi from scratch. I'm so hyped. People are welcome to reply with this with any crumbs we have of their dynamics in canon but afaik they've rarely interacted outside of very minor moments, so AMFMN will largely be a sandbox for me to establish what I THINK they'd be like. Which in my fic plan so far, is largely taking each character's personality and applying how I think they'd react to a situation, and how that would look when two of them are interacting in that situation. Ex: at one point Etoiles has to comfort Missa bc he's just having a ROUGH time with this saving Phil stuff. But Etoiles is NOT a comfort guy. So he does his Etoiles thing: hearing Missa out while also cracking his usual brand of jokes in an attempt to lighten the mood.

I also have a plot point planned with him and Bagi when shit is hitting the fan the hardest and OUUGHHH. That self-sacrificing shit am I right.

God I'm being so mean to him specifically in AMFMN though. Ender King is a sack of shit, he knows exactly who to harass most using Phil's body >:/

See in my AMFMN Fitza headcanons, I said they're each other's confidants. Which IS true. However, no one in the fic gets the honor of Phil FINALLY communicating with someone about his issues other than his husband. Missa is the person he caves and confesses things to. Missa gets the HC Deity lore and what's been happening to him lately. This is actually what Chapter 3 is :D

Also I am so sorry but I'm sliding a Missa Romantic Love Confession attempt into the fic and it gets interrupted by The Horrors. But yeah Missa is romantically in love with Phil, he just respects that Phil sees things platonically. He still wants to communicate his feelings though.

#qsmp #qsmp pissa #pissa #qsmp philza #qsmp missa #AMFMN things #deathduo #qsmp deathduo

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xivu-arath · 5 months

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man after putting a lot of my gripes about relatively recent writing together with The Lore Circle, and then seeing the article about just how dire the state of bungie is right now, it's really... not a surprise. we'd been noticing and feeling the effects of this in bits and pieces for over a year, at least

the weird flattening and streamlining of story and narrative and characters, the unnecessary amount of connections being made with zero ambiguity allowed, characters and dynamics being written in reaction to overall community opinions and vibes but often without actual depth, the very... on the face and rote pattern of seasonal dialogues. not that I care much about gameplay, but the intense pivot towards "challenging gameplay" that feels both one-note and pretty damn brutal for casual players like myself. I'd long held that there had to be a strong executive meddling for how things were being handled, and it sucks to have been so right

and it's so easy to see how things will spiral into going worse. why should longtime fans extend any grace or trust to bungie now? how can we be "earned back" when all the good writers and community managers and counsel and musicians have been laid off? when every well-meaning initiative has been promptly shut down and everyone involved is gone?

I don't generally have the energy nowadays to Express Opinions or be as loudly disappointed as many of my friends are. but I am disappointed and tired and also really fucking sad. the destiny that exists in my memory could actually be pretty good, and sometimes almost matched what I was writing and imagining in my own head. and... it's probably never going to return to that. I'm not going to leave it! I will probably hang around and keep plucking out the dregs that appeal to me, and keep writing and theorizing and talking with the talented and passionate community I've found myself in. I've scavenged and remained invested in much worse and more overall garbage stories

but I am going to grieve this decline for a long time, too. not just as a fan, but for the hundreds of people who did work on this big and silly universe and put their hopes and best efforts into it, and got crunched up instead

#destiny critical #bungie critical

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ck-17088 · 1 year

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OPINION: Why I think Transformers Earthspark will be remembered as one of the best Transformers shows of all time.

Long story short, Earthspark spoilers. Don't read if you don't want to be spoiled.

I'm delighted to say that Earthspark has again exceeded my expectations. Honestly, when the show was first announced, I expected it to be a TV show meant to pander to young children. It would either be silly or forgettable.

Nope.

The show has blown all expectations out of the water through its bold story-telling and animation. The characters all feel realistic- they have strengths and flaws, which are most apparent when they face difficult situations. Another strength is that this show is not afraid to tackle issues (war, moral issues- "how far are we willing to go for the sake of peace?", discrimination, etc) that have become a part of our society in the present and past several years.

In the new 8 episodes dropped, the central theme appears to be identity. Mainly about finding your identity (ex: finding an alt-mode), making up parts of your identity (ex: finding the right alt-mode that matches each character), and integrating new experiences into your identity (ex: Megatron's decision to gain an Earth-based alt-mode to earn the Autobots' trust)- those sort of topics. These are all important and wonderful topics to discuss and share in a show. However, what surprised me the most was that the writers were not afraid to show the ugly sides of identity-related topics.

The 17th and 18th episodes- "Home Part I" and "Home Part II"- subtly tackle racism and xenophobia. Robbie, Twitch, and Hashtag are visiting Robbie's friend in a skateboard park. While having fun, they stumble upon an anti-transformers graffiti- "Transformers go home". Twitch and Hashtags are shocked and upset over this. Twitch says "This just isn't okay" because they were born on Earth and have lived there for their entire existence. However, Robbie's friend insists that their existence on Earth isn't "okay" since "Invading the Earth wasn't okay either". He's essentially telling them that they exist because of the war, which was unwanted, so therefore, their existence "isn't okay".

That scene honestly emotionally destroyed me. Before I explain why let me say a few things.

I am Korean American. The experiences/feelings I will later talk about are my own and do not fully represent the Korean American and/or East Asian communities. Our community's experiences are varied; thus, one person’s is not enough to sum them all of them.

Throughout my life, especially in the past couple of years- during the COVID-19 pandemic, I have had all of these things happen to me:

- I have been called hateful slurs.

- People have made the slanted eyes gesture to me numerous times.

- A few people have greeted me with "ni hao". (This is offensive because they automatically assume I'm from China because I'm Asian. It supports the idea that AAPI communities are one monolith. Hint: They're not.)

- Many people have asked me if I eat dog meat… (I don't. Never have.)

- Too many times, I have been told to "go back home". (I don't even remember the exact number. That's an indicator of how many times it's happened)

- In college, I have had many academic and career advisors ask if I'm a foreign student. It doesn't appear be an offensive question, but if I were Caucasian, no one would have thought to ask me if I was a foreigner. But no, I am Asian, so there is a huge chance that I might not be American.

The fact that I am Asian, or Korean American, an ethnicity (Korean) not found in the Americas, is enough of an excuse to question my identity and my entire life - who I am, where I'm from, and my own habits. To many, it is an excellent excuse to ensure I feel like an outsider in my own home.

The "Transformers go home" scene destroyed me because it reminds me of the pain that comes from the fact that there will always be people who believe I do not belong in my own country- no matter how many experiences I have had and how ingrained they are in me.

These characters are experiencing that same pain, too, even when they shouldn't be. The insistence from Robbie's friend that their experiences aren't enough to explain their belonging to Earth because they are physically Cybertronian- or transformers- is especially heartbreaking.

However, Robbie stands up for his family and breaks ties with his friend. He refuses to accept the blatant discrimination his siblings are facing and leaves instead. This is significant because while the writers show the ugly side of human society, they also show how to combat it- by refusing to stand by and accept it.

This scene is likely why Earthspark will become and will be remembered as one of the best Transformers shows ever.

It's not just the animation or the stories/plots. It is the show's willingness to tackle issues that are difficult to discuss in real life.

In a world where Anti- Asian, Anti- Latino, Anti- LGBTQIA sentiments and (basically) any hate toward minority groups are on the rise, Earthspark is not afraid to go head-on with these issues. They are willing to show scenes to demonstrate the harm these ideas and beliefs can cause, as well as solutions on how to fight them.

The show embraces the beautiful sides of humanity- friendship, family, love, and hope- but is also not afraid to fight the ugly parts of it too.

Written by: CK17088

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envyq00 · 1 year

Note

I have never played Stanley parable in my life but I am in LOVE with your narrator design

AHH thank you so much!! I’m glad he’s been received well!! Honestly, I spent so long worrying about and fussing over his design. Probably sounds preachy but I wanted to make sure he held the multiplicity/complexity of his character where he’s capable of being smug and smarmy as well as antagonistic, fussy, apathetic, vulnerable, pitiable, goofy, endearing, playful and even loveable. And fuckable , yes I’ll admit. (I actually ended up listening to the Narrator’s voice lines alone for HOURS to get the right feeling while drawing him.)

So yeah it was a bit tough to hit the visuals that matched that range of character for him. I love all kinds of different designs for the Narrator, especially the more abstract ones bc they’re so creative but I also like the human ones where he’s just some silly old man bc I think what makes the Narrator so appealing to everyone (besides Kevan Brighting’s EXCELLENT voice acting, which is a big part of it bc of how he delivers these lines) is how he’s written with so much character and personality. Despite definitely probably not being human, he comes off as SO incredibly human, almost to a fault. He feels like a person with flaws that we can relate to, especially as creative people who want to communicate and connect with others, rather than a typical AI or program in the game that’s just running as intended.

Anyway, I’m rambling but I’m so glad people love him and I really appreciate the comments I’ve gotten about how they think he also fits the voice. When you do that, I think that’s when you hit the jackpot. Especially as a character designer. You want everything about the character to sync up with who they are or what they’re written/described as.

There’s so much more I could go in depth about when it comes to what I took into consideration when designing my Narrator and what I think about him as a character, especially in my own AU, but it’s a LOT for another time. If you guys want to hear more tho, I’m open to ramble some more 👀 just ask me again.

In the meantime, here’s a sneak peek of what I’m working on next:

(Also please do play the game, it’s so charming and had me very surprised when I played it for myself.)

#digitalart #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tsp narrator #tspud #tspud narrator #envy answers #wip #tsp #tsp fanart

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starsthatpiercedthesky · 2 years

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okay so.i was thinking about this and it pulled at my heart strings

imagine eddie dating a girl who lives in like the SUPER rich part of hawkins, and they always go over to his house because he’s like really insecure about where he lives :( all fluffy

word count: 1.0k

warnings: slight smut, mentions of being ashamed of lower class title, very fluffy

pairings: Eddie Munson x Rich!Fem!Reader

a/n: Thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!

You met Eddie in the second year of high school. He was so sweet. You fell for him so hard. Everyone thought it was silly considering who he was and who you are. But he fell for your charm. Your parents may be rich, but you never hung around the popular crowd. You made Eddie laugh all the time, and it wasn’t long before you begged him to let you join the Hellfire club. As the years went on, you and Eddie fell for each other.

And though it’s pretty well known that the two of you are almost officially an item, Eddie never takes you to his place. You know it’s mostly because he’s ashamed of his background. You know Eddie didn’t have a good homelife. Especially not before he moved in with his uncle. But that’s all you know about where and how Eddie lives.

Eddie always comes to pick you up at your place. If you guys want a place to stay, he’ll always suggest your place. After some time, your parents have come to really like Eddie. They think very highly of him, which really flusters him. But he’s always a perfect gentleman with you. Your mother thinks he is very charming and a good match for you, despite the other mothers in the neighborhood being afraid of him.

And with every passing moment you spend with Eddie, the harder you fall for him. Eventually, he just asks you to be his girlfriend. Of course, you accept. But you do give him one condition, to which he’s so quick to say yes.

“Ah, but you haven’t even heard what it is,” And he looks at you with his big doe eyes.

“Anything. You name it. It’ll happen. I’ll make it happen, baby.” He wraps his arms around you and pulls you in for a very sweet kiss.

“Take me to your place,”

Eddie freezes when he realizes what you’ve just said. Of course you would want that. He groans and presses his face against your neck. Eddie inhales deeply, trying to keep your scent in his memory. When you see where he lives, you’ll dump him like a ton of bricks. But you really don’t believe it’s that bad. You know he’s not homeless, but he is so ashamed of where he lives.

“Shit, fine. I’ll bring you to my place. We can even go now and catch my uncle before leaves. He’s been wanting to meet you.”

So with shaking hands and nervousness building up in his tummy, he drives you both to the trailer park. When the sign comes up, his cheeks burn. It’s nothing like the sign that’s situated right outside the gated community you live in. It’s decrepit and sad. He feels so fucking pathetic right now. But when you get out of the car, you take in the scenery. It seems like a good place to grow up. It probably beats the monotony of the rich part of Hawkins. You’re actually in awe at the livelihood of the people that live here.

“Is this really all it was, Eddie?” You ask him, and he looks down at his feet.

“Yeah, baby. I’m ashamed.” You cup his face and you reach up on your tiptoes to kiss him.

“Baby, it’s fine. I don’t love you for your money or any kind of lack of money. I’m crazy about you, Eddie Munson.”

His cheeks heat up, “R-really?” He holds onto you a little tighter.

“So crazy about you. Even my parents like you, Eddie. You should know none of this bothers me.”

He takes your hand in his and he leads you up the stairs to his trailer. He unlocks the door and smiles widely at his uncle. His uncle sits at the table, and you can see his eyes light up when he finally sees you. Eddie has been talking about you nonstop since the first day he met you.

“So this must be your girlfriend,” Wayne steps forward and he extends his hand to you. You gladly shake it and introduce yourself.

“I’m Wayne. Eddie must have told you about me. I was starting to wonder when he might bring you over.”

“Shut up!” Eddie spits out, but Wayne just laughs at his nephew’s antics. Eddie blushes at the attention he’s getting.

“Anyway, I was about to head out for my shift. It was really nice meeting you. I’m glad Eddie found such a nice girl.” This makes Eddie blush even more.

It’s not long before it’s the two of you alone. Eddie shows you around the trailer. Then he finally brings you into his room. You finally get to be in his lair. The walls are covered with all kinds of band memorabilia and posters. The famous guitar you’ve heard him play so much sits waiting for him. He goes over to it and blows a kiss to it. Eddie smirks when he realizes that you’re finally in his room.

“Ah, if only you knew how long I've been waiting for this moment.” He comments, and wraps his arms around you again.

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you tell me how you pictured it?”

He chuckles darkly, “Well baby…I’ve always pictured you here with me. My uncle is always gone and we have the whole place to ourselves. I throw on your favorite album,”

You smile when he picks up the familiar tape. The prism and the refracting light as the cover art really makes your heart skip a beat. Eddie remembered your favorite album is The Dark Side of The Moon. You sigh softly before he kisses you sloppily. He takes off your jacket for you.

“Then, maybe I roll us a joint after you get nice and comfortable on my bed. We smoke a little weed, and we get high.” He sits at his desk and he points at the bed for you to sit on. You do as he instructs and you remove your shoes.

“Once we’re nice and high, then I lick your little pussy until you can’t take it anymore.” He looks at you, his eyes dark with lust.

“Eddie!” You squeal before throwing a pillow in his direction. He smirks at you. “Sounds like a nice time. It’s a pity you waited so long to invite me here. We could have been doing that for a few years now.”

Eddie comes over to you and kisses you hungrily. “No time like the present, darling.”

#piercedthesky.writing #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson x you #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x y/n #stranger things smut

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sophieinwonderland · 9 months

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"Changing a term isn't that hard"

Problem 1 - A divided community

Any attempt at making a new term would be met with resistance. Not from everyone, but by most. It's likely that those who use other terms would move away from the tulpa community. So instead of actually getting tulpamancers to change their term, you would be just be making a new community outside of it.

But maybe you can manage to stick around in tulpa spaces, get other people to as well, and somehow slowly change the language from the inside. But what is that language?

Problem 2 - Finding a word for everyone

Thoughtform is a bad term because its connotations are too spiritual. There is also an active spiritual thoughtform community out there right now that this will be stepping on the toes of, smashing together two largely disconnected communities.

Many feel parogenic is too broad. And willogenic presents the practice as just "willing" a headmate into existence. Both also would result in the tulpa community losing its identity, becoming yet another xeno-origin and being assimilated completely into the endogenic community.

Senpia is just never going to happen.

None of the alternatives are going to be universally-agreed upon. And having the community divided amongst multiple terms exacerbates the first problem.

Problem 3 - Domain shifts

Anti-tulpas like pointing to the shift from "natural multiplicity" to "endogenic" as an example of how you can change terms. For those that are unaware, "natural multiples" were basically the precursors for endogenic systems. Many argued that the term was ableist because it suggested systems formed from trauma were "unnatural." Which is a silly and bad faith way of framing it, since the opposite of nature is usually environmental in this context, as in the nature vs nurture debate.

But regardless, the websites that existed at the time didn't include the terms in their domain names. They could change their terms without ever worrying about this. Furthermore... most of these communities were already dying as the plural community migrated to Tumblr. The whole internet landscape was morphing in the early 2010s.

Problem 3.1 - r/tulpas

On Reddit, changing a subreddit name is literally impossible. The only possible way to accomplish this would be to have the mods delete r/tulpas and create a completely new subreddit. At which point, a huge number of subscribers are instantly lost.

As is a ton of history on the subreddit, and even some guides that never got posted anywhere else.

Problem 3.2 - Tulpa.info

While it may technically possible to change the domain, that instantly breaks every link to every single tulpamancy guide on the website in an instant.

The whole thing becomes a huge mess. Perhaps they could setup redirects, but that would require paying for the old domain as well as the new one, driving up server costs.

Problem 4 - Visibility

Any new community terms will lose the visibility of identifying as tulpas. For people who are experiencing sentient imaginary friends and looking for a community, this transitionary period will make it way more difficult to find a community to support their needs.

It also makes it more difficult for the tulpamancy community to expand and bring in new members.

Problem 5 - Academic Research

Tulpamancy is currently the primary form of endogenic plurality being researched, including an fMRI study. All other research into endogenic plurality has mostly been surveys. Finding people to take part in FMRI studies is difficult. Not everyone has a lifestyle where they can just fly off to California for a brain scan.

If research continues, there are multiple ways this could hamper it going forward.

Mixing with the thoughtform community could mean a larger spiritual influence in the community, reinforcing the idea that endogenic plurality is only valid if it's spiritual. There are plenty of studies into spiritual possession happening, and it's imperative that we match that with research into plurals with psychological origins.

Losing our identity by assimilating into the larger endogenic community through -genic labels like parogenic and willogenic will end research into tulpamancy as a phenomenon of its own.

And dividing the community means fewer people are going to be found who can take part in these studies.

A term isn't just a term

It's our identity. It's our community. It's our connection to each other. It's our websites and the resources they host. It's our ability to be seen. It's our connection to the academic research into our community and ongoing advancement in the field.

There is no genuine "pro-tulpa, anti-tulpa terminology" side. Changing the terminology as a whole would divide and devastate the tulpamancy community.

If you're fighting against tulpa terminology, you're fighting against the tulpamancy community.

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heckyeahponyscans · 7 months

Text

Thoughts on G5 MLP Make Your Mark Chapter 5, Episode 1: Cutie Blossom Bash

Summary: Misty's friends take her to Zephyr Heights for the Cutie Blossom Bash, a celebration for all the ponies who've gotten a cutie mark in the past year. The only one not excited about the celebration is . . . Misty.

Thoughts: Great episode, and I'm glad we get to see how the others got their cutie marks! (So Misty getting swooped into the air by magic as it happened WAS above and beyond how it normally goes.)

It was so nice seeing Argyle again and I liked how he was lingering right next door to make sure everything went well with Sunny's lemonade stand. When the two ponies started fighting, he frowned and started to move around to the street, but Sunny defused the conflict before he got there.

My impression from the G5 movie was that Queen Haven didn't invent the "royals can fly" lie, she inherited it, and that matches up with Zipp's flashback, since I would expect a more massive reaction she was the first pegasus in living memory to (seemingly) fly.

Something interesting about G5 is that cutie marks are both super important (acting as a magical power up) and very understated. Like, I don't think the show ever turned to the audience to explain what they are, nor are there any Cutie Mark Crusaders running around . The information is introduced through context clues, especially with Misty wanting a cutie mark so badly.

(Sidenote, but in my mind cutie marks are 'natural' magic, similar to a seed sprouting, which is why they didn't disappear during the dystopian period. Dalmatians are born white and get their spots later, I imagine a cutie mark is something like that.)

It also seems to matter less what a cutie mark actually shows and waaay less job / talent related. Although even in G4 it was more like a Rorschach test than anything else. Rarity's symbol isn't a sewing needle, it's jewels; Cheerilee has flower symbols and says it symbolizes "the bright smiling faces of [her] students".

I didn't mind G4's cutie marks being job-related, I think it's fine to have a fictional utopia where everyone finds their dream job and their work is like a fun hobby instead of a tiresome chore. (Especially in kids' media.) But I do like G5's take better, where they symbolize who you are more than what you do. As Queen Haven says, it's a step towards becoming "your best, most authentic self."

Speaking of cutie marks, a butterfly is perfect for Misty because, as she realized in this episode, it symbolizes her growth and ability to change.

As Megan said, "When you look at a caterpillar it's ugly to the eye, but remember a caterpillar becomes a butterfly." Thank you Megan.

A lot of this episode was about Misty's anxieties, which I found very relatable because I had terrible social anxiety that I didn't really get a handle on until I was in my thirties. (Don't ever stop working on yourself or feel like you are "too old" to be happier, whether you are thirteen or eighty-three.) It was great seeing Misty expressing her feelings and vulnerabilities to her friends.

It really drove home that although Sunny is a protagonist, Misty is THE protagonist of MYM, the character who grows and changes the most.

Misty's terror and embarrassment aside, the Cutie Blossom Bash events were very, well, cute! I like that it's a communal celebration of all the ponies who got their cutie marks and the silly little flags they carry. (And I like Seashell getting even more of a spotlight, retro ponies represent!)

Overall this is one of the top episodes for me so far.

Random thoughts:

They remembered that baby Sunny didn't have rainbow in her hair . . . but forgot to scrub Mane Melody from the background of one of the shots with Argyle. Whoops!

During the brunch with Queen Haven, it struck me that she is the first kind-hearted mother figure that Misty has ever experienced. (Well, since she was a tiny foal anyway.)

Argyle's color scheme reminds me of G3 Seaspray

When Zipp starts to tell her cutie mark story, Pipp interrupts and Zipp sarcastically mouths along to Pipp's words, great little touch

Izzy got her cutie mark "on the eves of the Translucent Moonstone Moon"

I think I know where Gertrude, Opaline's beloved mane brush, went; Misty gave Gertrude to Pipp as a get-well present in "A Little Horse"! With all my heart, I hope Opaline doesn't seek revenge due to her big evil plans being spoiled, but rather over this hairbrush.

Since I already had the toy of Misty I knew her mane would change color, but I figured it would be due to magic or something, not hairspray. Love the excuse Misty came up with about the magic shrub.

Opaline legit laughs behind her hoof like an anime villain, what a treasure <3

#G5 #My Little Pony #MYM #Make Your Mark #spoilers #Chapter 5 Episode 1 #Cutie Blossom Bash #cartoon

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pudgecuddles · 11 months

Note

Yoongi who’s not used to physical affection from Taehyung but still wants to show how much he loves him by feeding him. Which then turns to also surprising him with new clothes as he grows fatter. Before long, Yoongi has a massive Taehyung on his hands.

“This looks like kind of a lot, Yoongi.” Taehyung stared at the spread of take out in front of them.

“Yeah, maybe.” Yoongi rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “But hey, there’s always leftovers. Besides I know that Thai’s your favorite, you can have a little of everything and pack the rest away.”

Taehyung hummed, contemplating his options before shrugging and loading up his first plate with, like Yoongi said, a little of everything. “If I end up eating all of this, it’s your fault.”

Yoongi held up his hands in surrender. “Got it. Got it.”

Plopping themselves down on the sofa, they started up the movie they were going to watch, Ratatouille. It was Taehyung’s favorite movie and always inspired an appetite in him.

Needless to say, there were no leftovers that night.

“Heal me dammit!” Taehyung shouted as he tapped frantically on his keyboard. “Can we get a fucking Medic on our team already?! Red is pulverizing us! They have Uber already!”

The match ended shortly after, Blu team having failed to prevent the bomb from being pushed into their base.

Yoongi walked in with a platter of snacks just as Taehyung smacked his forehead in exasperation. “Did we really need three fucking Gibus Snipers? Really?”

“Playing casual matches again?” Yoongi was amused at how vocal Taehyung always got when he played his games. “You know that comp has better communication.”

“Yeah, but sometimes I just don’t wanna be roasted for maining Demoknight, okay? Casual doesn’t give a shit.”

“True.” Yoongi wanted to lean in and kiss his boyfriend sweetly, but hot embarrassment ran through him at the thought of potential rejection. Instead, he offered the tray to Taehyung. “I made you a consolation prize…”

Taehyung’s eyes bugged out at the sight of all his favorite snacks placed so prettily on the platter. “Yoongi, you shouldn’t have. That’s so sweet of you!” It didn’t matter to Taehyung in that moment that he had just eaten breakfast, or that he was actually trying to lose a few pounds. The kind, loving gesture from his boyfriend outranked silly little diets.

Taehyung grabbed a butter cracker dolloped with nutella and popped the whole thing in his mouth at once. “Mmmmmm…”

Yoongi took that as approval. “Well, I guess I’ll leave you to it-”

“Nuh-uh.” Taehyung swallowed audibly. “You’re always my good luck charm, I’m keeping you here.”

Taehyung stood up just then, pulling his tight shirt down his newly grown belly. Yoongi gulped at the sight. “I’ll stay.”

“Good, now come over here and sit.” Taehyung gestured towards his large, comfortable gaming chair.

Confused, Yoongi obediently sat on the chair, sinking into it’s softness. Hmm, this was nice.

Suddenly, all of Taehyung’s weight dropped onto Yoongi’s lap. “Oof! What-?”

“Sorry Yoongi, but you’re trapped now!” Taehyung grinned, lowering the chair so that he could reach the keyboard from his elevated position. “I knew you’d say no if I asked, so I tricked you.”

Cheeky brat. Yoongi Smiled, glad that his boyfriend was one to take initiative.

Taehyung got into queue for a new game as Yoongi tried to get comfortable. They have had Taehyung sit on Yoongi’s lap in the past, but this was different.

You see, Taehyung was 33 pounds heavier than last time, and Yoongi felt every ounce of it.

He knew only because he checked their scale’s history feature. Taehyung used to hover around 137 pounds, now the chubby boy clocked in at 170.

170 pounds sat right on Yoongi’s poor dick.

This was going to be a long match…

After months of weekly take out, and daily snacking sessions, it was about time that Taehyung started having trouble with his pants. He’d grown a little bottom heavy over time and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. On one hand he really didn’t care what size he was, but on the other, he values Yoongi’s opinion more than anything in the world. What if he was grossed out by him?

Thoughts for later.

Grunting and groaning, Taehyung’s double belly wobbled viciously as he jumped up and down trying to squeeze his dimpled thunder thighs into his favorite pair of jeans. It’d been a while since he’s worn them, having defaulted to his comfier pair of sweats for the past month and a half while he was between jobs.

Now, he had a job interview in an hour and needed to wear something other than stained sweatpants and BO coated tank top. Besides, that one tended to leave a bit of his lower belly hanging out to jiggle for all to see. It was fine when he was at home alone or with Yoongi, but he somehow doubted that a potential employer would approve of it.

“Dammit!” Taehyung flopped onto his bed, causing the springs to creak from the sudden weight. “I guess 276 pounds is officially the limit for Levi’s…”

With a brief knock at the door, Yoongi came in to see Taehyung looking like someone gave up on pulling the pants up their too fat Barbie doll and just tossed it on their bed for later. “Taehyungie?”

“Don’t start. I know how I look.”

“I wasn’t gonna say anything.” Yoongi held up one hand in surrender, the other holding a medium sized box. “I actually brought you something that I think will help you out.”

Taehyung lifted his head, giving himself a double chin. “What is it? A present?”

“Kinda…” Yoongi blushed. “I saw the other day that you kept pulling down your shirt, so I decided to grab you some more clothes… Uhm, bigger ones.” He mumbled that last part, hoping that Taehyung didn’t take the gesture badly.

Taehyung again wasn’t sure how to feel. Yoongi went out of his way to cater to his larger size and buy him new clothes, that had to mean that he didn’t hate him right? Otherwise, Taehyung had no qualms about going up in size, it was just part of getting fatter.

“Thank you, Yoongi.” Taehyung smiled, deciding to be touched by the effort. “Lemme try ‘em on.”

The ones on top of the pile, XXL, fit perfectly.

Both men ignored the bottom pile of XXXXL outfits.

Besides, it was smart to have clothes with room to grow on hand.

“-Urp!- Can I have some more, Yoonie?” Taehyung burped politely into his fist. “I’m all out…” He set down his big gulp cup in the cup holder of their new sofa, Taehyung having broken their old one.

Yoongi called out from the kitchen, “Coming up!” The sound of a blender cut out anything else he might have said.

Taehyung’s tummy grumbled. The large double belly hung off of the couch, between his legs and rested on the floor. It’d been over a year since he’d started seriously gaining weight and he already found that most of his days began and ended with his massive ass on the sofa, stuffing his face with whatever Yoongi presented to him.

It was a special occasion this time though, he’d reached 637 pounds that morning. A full 500 pounds more than his starting weight. He and Yoongi never really discussed what they were doing with Taehyung’s body, they just both knew they didn’t mind it. Maybe it was a subconscious effort to see how far they could go, maybe it was just their love language in action. Either way, Taehyung had seriously ballooned and he didn’t care at all.

“Here you are.” Yoongi stepped into the living room, handing a second big gulp cup to Taehyung. “I added some prunes this time. You know you need more fiber.”

“But Hyung!” Taehyung whined. “You know that makes me gassy…”

“Everything makes you gassy nowadays.” Yoongi deadpanned.

“True.” Taehyung sighed. He brought the cup up to his lips ad began gulping.

And gulping.

He whined slighting as the mixture hit his stomach heavily. Yoongi immediately came over and began massaging his taught upper belly. Willing his stomach to digest faster. To grow fatter.

Gulp.

Sluuuuurp…

Gasping for air, Taehyung hiccuped loudly. “That- hic! Was so good, Yoongi.”

-UUUUURP!-

Taehyung let out a loud belch.

Yoongi continued rubbing his hard gut, encouraging the release of gas, used to it by now. “That’s it baby, keep going.”

-Buur…BrrruUUUUUUuUuuUup!”-

That last one was gurgley.

Panting and still hiccuping, Taehyung rested his chubby hands on his bulging love handles and squeezed. “Look what your excellent cooking has done to me, Yoongi. I’m huge!”

“I know, Taehyungie.” Yoongi slipped his hand into Taehyung’s cavernous belly button, hidden between his sagging upper and lower bellies and wiggled his long fingers. “I know.”

Taehyung moaned, only recently getting used to Yoongi’s courageous showings of affection. “Y-Yeah… Here’s to another 500.”

End.

#pudgeprojects #cw gas #cw burping #bts feederism

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ann-yakor · 7 months

Text

Mastermind.

| okay, so this is my first time doing this ever, I swear English isn't even my first language so I may have or may have not made chatgpt proof read this and help me with my grammar 😭🫠 lol

Pls be nice, this took me so much time and is probably not that good but I kinda like it.

Also, I don't know how to count words with the 1K! 1.2K! Cause math, my brain can't do that but this has around 2.100 words

"What do I have to do to get what I want? Let’s say I have a plan. Which I don’t. This plan would consist of a few steps. Little steps, since I can't focus on a lot of things at the same time.

The first part of the plan would be to get involved. Since social media exists, it's easier and easier to get inside people’s small private circles without them even noticing. You just open Instagram, search for… let’s say, your crush's account, and then you immediately follow… her best friend. Her best friend, who follows an insane number of people, will follow you back. Even though you're biting your nails, growing more anxious by the second, wanting to talk to her, you don't. You wait for a day or two. Then you upload a story about your cat. An hour has passed after that, and her friend saw it. Actually, her friend liked it. That's when you can get into her friend's DMs. And you talk to her about how you are new in town and hadn't got the chance to make any friends. If you chose wisely, she’s her extroverted friend. In fact, she’s the golden retriever that adopted her into the friend group in the first place. After a few days talking about where to get this, where to get that, the music you like, and how you wished you had friends to go to the weekend fair, you get invited. You are being adopted.

Don't be nervous, I know you messed up before, but this is what planning is for; sweaty palms and stutter won't be a problem when every word is scripted and perfectly crafted.

But don’t get too excited already either because you're gonna ask how many people are gonna be there. And after putting an excuse about being bad at names, you’re gonna make sure she's not going. The girl with the freckles? Not really a fan of fairs. Lucky for you.

Now the fun part is getting to know her friends.

We know Dina; she’s extroverted, charismatic, and if she wasn’t dating Jesse, she’d probably be a threat since she’s also gorgeous and generous.

Then there’s Jesse, the silly boyfriend, a joker, always in a silly mood, and trying to make everyone smile, even if deep down he’s having a hard time; nobody knows. But you know because his pain matches yours. So you smile at each other, in silent understanding.

After a couple of games, Jesse and you have secret jokes, and Dina is gossiping about everything that happens in Jackson, the small community that celebrates everything and is always throwing fairs like this. Your younger self would be thrilled; it sounds like Mystic Falls or Stars Hollow even, but this is a real place and is where you're gonna live for a long time now, so... please don't mess things up.

Now you’re feeling proud of yourself; her friends are your friends now. So, let's get to step three.

“Jesus, I’m so sorry!” Someone accidentally pushing me to the floor is definitely not part of the plan, but neither was wearing my old Converse instead of my new pink Nikes, and here we are. It shouldn't be an inconvenience. Oh, and yet it is when I get up, and it's her green eyes that I see.

The fairgrounds buzz with colorful lights, the distant echoes of laughter, and the scent of cotton candy and popcorn wafting through the air.

“Don’t! It was my fault; are you okay?” This is not how the first conversation was supposed to happen. Her friends were supposed to introduce me to her, skipping the awkwardness. Her friends were here with me. Her friends… are nowhere to be found now.

And she's standing there, with her perfectly fitting jeans, her matching Converse with mine that made me think maybe I took the right choice, and her flannel shirt. Under the moonlight, her arm tattoo looks so good; it's intimidating, and I have to physically force myself to get my eyes on her eyes before I look creepy.

She scratches the back of her head, a few strands of red hair falling on her face; she seems worried because I’m not talking. “…yES, yes, I’m sorry… I was kind of looking for my friends, I guess?” She smiles; I melt. But she still looks confused.

“You guess?”

“Well, I don’t know if I can call them friends; it's my first time meeting them. I’m new to town.” That excuse is getting old.

“How rude; would you like to stay with me? I’m also looking for my friends.” Shit, shit, shit.

“Did they also leave you behind?” She chuckles and fidgets with her fingers, like she’s nervous, but I know her; I know she’s not extroverted; she’s the anxious one of her group.

“Actually…” she bites her lip “…I wasn’t supposed to be here; I changed my mind at the last minute.” I know.

“So your friend-“

“Can I buy you a drink?”

“What?”

“Okay, this is dumb, but my friends are always telling me to invite girls I find cute for drinks. Probably makes much more sense when we’re at the club. It’s just that I never do. But now you’re here, and we’re having an actual conversation, and I think you’re really cute, and-“

“Yes.”

“What?”

“Yes, you can buy me a drink. I mean, maybe not a drink, but I’ll let you buy me a cotton candy if you want to, and we could share?”

“That would be great.”

New plan: don’t act stupid.

We walk in silence towards the one person selling cotton candy there, is an awkward silence, and I found myself getting lost in my thoughts even when she asks which color I want; everything happens so fast, I don't even notice she's been talking to me.

“So if you’re new here, who were you hanging out with?”

“Oh, I don’t think you would know them.” Liar, you’re gonna get a bellyache.

“Try me; I’ve been living here my whole life, and it’s a small town.”

Her soft-looking lips wrapped around a piece of blue cotton candy (her choice), and the sugar melted. Change the subject maybe?

“What was your name again? I feel like before I go on telling you the names of my friends, I should at least know who am I talking to.” Okay, it didn’t have to sound like that; fuck, I’m an idiot. She lifted two hands in the air and chuckled; I was getting used to that sound and the butterflies it made me feel.

“Okay, okay… fair, I’m Ellie.” It sounded so different when she said it; I have heard Dina say it, Jesse say it; I tried pronouncing it out loud the first time I ever heard it on the street when I saw her the first time, arguing with an old man about getting a new PlayStation. Shit, am I sounding insane in my own head?

She didn’t add anything more, but her eyes scanned me, my face, my lips; she was expecting me to reciprocate, and I did; my name came out in a higher pitch than

expected, but she smiled; her freckles forming new constellations when her cheeks lifted after her lips turned up. Corny. Stop looking.

“That’s a pretty name.”

Is that what I think it is? Behind the tree? Is it Jesse?

“You wanna go there?”

I blinked, once, twice; the tree was beside… the house of horror? No, thanks.

“Sorry, what?”

“The house of horror; I’ve been there plenty of times; every year is the same. But it's good! Come on; I can show you. I need to keep you around after we finish the cotton candy anyway.”

I nodded. What? No, this is not part of the plan; don’t act stupid is the plan; you’re definitely acting stupid if you’re getting scared.

The world stopped moving the moment her hand brushed mine; she gave me an insecure puppy look; she was asking for permission to take my hand, and my stupid brainless self made the right choice.

I saw our fingers interlock, saw her grin turn into a big smile, saw the pink take over her flushed cheeks, and saw her rare burst of confidence weaken when she scratched her neck with her other hand.

“I’ve never been in a house of horror.” Now her face illuminated even more, as if I just didn’t say that I might probably pass out in front of her the second we put a foot in that thing; she looked excited; now it felt like she was showing a way to wonderland, something new, something she’s been trying to get people to see in the past.

“Really? That’s great; you’re gonna get sooo scared.” Maybe saying it out loud like that made her realize how it sounded, or maybe it was the look on my face, because the next thing I know, she’s squishing my hand and giving me an apologetic look.

“We can do something else if you want to.”

“No! No, I wanted this, right? And it’s better to go with someone experienced than on my own, right?”

“Right… don’t worry; you’ll be safe with me.”

In no time, we were in the line, and even if I loved the silence the night and the stars gave us, eventually, the cotton candy ended, and now there was no reason not to be talking; she was even looking nervously all around. We were not moving, and yet her hand was still placed in mine; we looked like teenagers on their first date. Was this a date? No, no way. Running into someone and sharing candy and going into a house of horror was not a date, was it?

“Are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You got lost in your head.”

“Oh sorry, it happens all the time. I was…”

“Don’t worry; I get it. But we’re kinda holding the line, so, after you?”

“What? No way; you’re going first.”

I laughed; the mood was light again; I wondered why things were so easy around her. Maybe I should throw my stupid plan away and just let it be.

“Okay, I thought you were braver than that.” She mocked, and I gasped; oh no, she can’t do that.

“You can’t trick me into walking to my possible death like that; nu-uh, I’m smart.”

And with that, she went first; after paying our tickets, of course. I tried to pay mine at least, but she refused.

The fairgrounds now gave way to a sinister facade—the house of horror. It loomed before us, a foreboding structure with cracked and weathered walls, adorned with eerie paintings of grotesque creatures. A dimly lit entrance beckoned visitors, shrouded in a chilling atmosphere, enhanced by the faint sound of eerie music and distant screams.

The house of horror was post-apocalyptic themed; there were zombies all over the place, and after the first scream from another person walking ahead of us, I was already clamped onto her arm like my life depended on it. She was having the time of her life.

“It hasn’t even started yet.”

“Shut up.”

The house of horror ended up being less scary than expected and more fun; first, we saw a person running scared from someone who was trying to eat her. By the second time, I got scared; I noticed it was showing the stages of infection, and now the actor had some kind of fungus growing on their face, making him blind. Ellie laughed at this like it was hilarious how the poor thing couldn’t see (even if we could see the two holes for the eyes, it was fun to pretend we couldn’t). The third and fourth ones made me scream in not such a pretty way because now I could even see a person behind all that fungus-like figure. Ellie held me by my waist one of those times, and even when we got out, she didn’t let go.

Walking outside the back doors of the house, she slid a strand of hair behind my ear and tried to take my face away from my hands. I wasn’t that scared; maybe I liked this little game where she pretended to laugh at me, but in reality, was checking if I was okay, and I acted like I was scared when in reality, I liked her attention and small touches. It felt like going out with a best friend, except that I didn’t want her as a friend.

“You’re a wimp,” she said, her eyes shining under the moonlight as a crooked smile lifted her apple cheeks, and a blush made her freckles stand out brighter than the stars in the sky; I was falling.

“Yeah, maybe, but you have been taking care of me, so you kinda want to kiss me.”

With the plan tossed out to the trashcan a long time ago, what did I have to lose? Maybe the cotton candy we had made the wrong effect on me.

“Yeah.”

Her voice, so low and raspy, got my legs trembling and my cheeks getting red; she tightened her grip on my waist as if she knew I was gonna fall if she didn’t and brushed her fingers on my chin.

Fuck. Is like she read all of those stories about my perfect idea of a romance.

Then her lips brushed mine, and I knew that I couldn’t just keep waiting, so I pressed my lips on hers, starting an ungodly slow and awkward

kiss. My heart got out of my chest and crawled to her shirt pocket to stay there as long as she wanted; I wasn’t falling anymore; she got me, just like that. Just when I thought we were playing a game where I was the mastermind, she proved me to be just a pawn.

“Ellie?” The kiss ended, and the glimpse of an embarrassed Ellie in front of me made my whole week better. Just until I heard my name in the same questioning tone said by the same person. Seems like our friends had found us.

“Man, I knew you said you liked her when I showed you her Instagram, but didn’t think it would make you change your mind and come to the town fair…”

Oh?

Oh.

OH.

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