I've been thinking about this exchange between Izzy and Ed in "Discomfort in a Married State":
"For years I've followed your every whim, I've managed your increasingly erratic moods, I've massaged this crew when they were worried about your judgment—"
"Mm, sounds stressful, Izzy."
"It is."
Izzy has assigned himself the role of "managing" Blackbeard, but it's quite obvious, both in Ed's response and in the way he says it, that Ed has never wanted or expected him to. And he continues to try to manage Ed, even when Ed clearly tells him not to.
Both Ed and Stede have that word "whim" thrown at them by people who don't really understand them - Izzy and Mary - and both at first resist the word (Stede even says "I object to the word whim"), then internalize it. It seems what are being called whims by outsiders are actually expressions of deep desires that neither Ed nor Stede have the verbal or emotional language to describe.
It's not a whim that has Stede running off to a be a pirate - it's all the frustration and loneliness and repression - and it's not a whim to go back to Mary - it's a result of guilt and self-loathing. It's not a whim that has Ed following the Revenge to meet Stede - it's wanting to find someone who might be a kindred spirit. But neither of them can openly articulate those feelings, either to the people who are calling them whims or fully to themselves. Stede goes further than Ed does because so many of his desires are located in his repressed homosexuality, and once he's able to articulate that - with Mary's help - he understands his feelings. He still believes that he's "whim-prone" in other ways, but not when it comes to Ed.
Ed is especially leery about his own desires, which have been managed by other people for so long, and about Stede's. His idea to "run off to China" is a whim in a certain sense, but it's expressing a desire to leave behind their old identities and form something new together. His desire to "take it slow" is about his own healing independent of Stede, but it's also built on a fear that Stede is going to disappear again. After they have sex, Ed again falls into the fear that it was a whim, but it's not his whim - it's Stede's. He's scared that what meant so much to him doesn't mean as much to Stede, or not enough for Stede to be able to let go of piracy and fame. He's worried that piracy wasn't a whim, but he was.
Both of them have been managed most of their lives, in different ways and by people and structures that they never wanted to manage them in the first place. It was all about keeping them in settled, socially acceptable places where they can't escape, and casting doubt on the legitimacy of their desires. (I don't think Izzy, and certainly not Mary, consciously think of it in these terms, and Mary especially has had to subsume her own needs as much as Stede has.)
In the scene with Izzy, Ed's evidently pushing back at the management, and he probably has been for a while. But this is likely the first time where his desires are getting more articulated, after his conversation with Stede, and are the same moment when Izzy starts trying to exert even more control over him.
His finding the letter is a mirror to Stede's conversation with Mary - the realization of who he is and who the man he loves is, and that the feelings he's experienced not just for but from Stede are not whims but bone-deep love.
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Can you stop trying to correct people about pronouns? Toby Fox has never said that Kris is non-binary. He uses they/them pronouns for the same reasons most video games do with player characters. He left the player's character up to interpretation so you can see them as you like most video games. it's fine if you use they them pronouns but you can't force others to accept something that is your opinion.
Sweetpea. You aren't going to change my mind on the matter, no matter which way you try and say it.
I could care less on what your opinions are on Kris' gender identity, truly. I'm not going to waste my time being frustrated by you. But honey, this is not the blog to be doing this. Like- bro???? Have you seen my content???
I hope you see this more as a learning opportunity.
It frustrates me that you would automatically assume Kris would use he/him. If I was going by your "player" logic, Kris would be using she/her. ACTUALLY if we were going by your full logic, Kris theoretically uses any/all pronouns, to accommodate for all players. Rethink and dissect what you are trying to say, sweetpea :/
Kris has only been using they/them in game. And that is what I will be sticking with.
I am not going to respond to any more of these and I am politely asking for no one to go after this person. Thank you.
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Rest
Guess what? I've got more Jamil x reader for y'all.
You can also find this on ao3.
No warnings, just 866 words of kinda fluffy(?) caretaking stuff with gender-neutral reader.
At this point, you know Jamil’s schedule almost as well as he does. So, when you have the chance, you head to Scarabia’s kitchen, hoping to spend some time with Jamil while he and the other students prepare dinner.
However, when you enter, it takes you but a moment to notice Jamil’s uncharacteristic fumbling and the tired look in his eyes. The way Jamil’s chopping the vegetables has you worried about him cutting himself with that knife he’s usually so adept with, and it seems it’s only force of habit that’s keeping him on track.
You frown, and when your eyes meet Jamil’s, you can already see him put his guard up.
So he knows what state he is in, huh? And still, here he is.
It seems Jamil is reading your thoughts, all of him telling you drop it before any words are even said.
At least he still lets you lean in and give a quick kiss to his cheek in greeting.
“Hello love. Do you still have a lot on your agenda for today?” you ask, keeping your tone low for at least some semblance of privacy in the busy kitchen.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” is the response you get.
Of course.
It takes a little more pestering before Jamil actually answers your question. Your lips purse. That list is far too long to your liking.
You take a moment to think, juggling your own plans and to-do list against the urgency of the things Jamil mentioned.
“Will Kalim be eating from that?” you ask, pointing at the food Jamil is preparing.
“Yes.”
“Alright, I won’t be touching that one, then. I’ve gotta do a few things but I’ll be back when you’re done here.”
“Don’t,” Jamil says with a glare, clearly aware of what you’re thinking.
Yet even his disapproving look doesn’t have the usual weight behind it.
“Yes. I will,” you say firmly, even as your heart curls inwards with another bout of concern.
Really, when did he get so tired?
And how did you not notice it earlier?
You leave the kitchen before Jamil can protest further, hurrying through the dorm corridors to find Kalim.
Soon you have an enthusiastic – and concerned – supporter for your plans. You have Kalim point out a few reliable Scarabia students to help with a few of the most urgent matters Jamil mentioned – cleaning up the common areas, delivering some paperwork to Crowley, preparing some dorm-wide notices – while you see to Kalim getting his school supplies in order for the following day. You even recruit a couple of third years to help Kalim with his homework.
You’ll see to the rest tomorrow – after all, you do also have a boyfriend to look after.
Your conversation over dinner can hardly be called anything else than an argument – despite Kalim’s best attempts at acting as a moderating force between you two. It is very tempting to ask Kalim to tell Jamil to take the rest of the day off – it’s not like Jamil would be willing to openly disobey a direct order. Still, you really don’t need to remind Jamil of his position on top of everything else that you’re already doing more or less against his wishes.
Eventually, however, Jamil’s had a square meal, the most urgent things on his to-do list are being taken care of, and you’ve managed to drag him to his bed.
“I really wish you wouldn’t push yourself so hard,” you murmur, your arms wrapped tightly around Jamil. You’re telling yourself you really do just want to cuddle, to offer some respite to Jamil. Still, there might also be a part of you worried that if you were to let go, he’d just jump up and get back to working himself to the bone.
Yet, for all his protestations, just the fact that you’ve gotten Jamil to lay down with you speaks volumes of his current exhaustion.
“I can’t just leave my duties, albi. You know this.”
“Making yourself too indispensable, is what you’re doing,” you protest.
Oh, you know it’s not so simple. Not with his background, not with all the expectations and assumptions.
But sometimes you really wish it would be.
Jamil merely scoffs in response to your words.
Still, it is undeniable that he is slowly beginning to relax in your arms, slowly bringing his head closer to yours. His eyes are starting to flutter, too.
“I will still need to help Kalim with his homework, at the very least.”
You wonder who he is trying to convince more, you or himself.
“Amin and Khalil are helping him. They’re basically top of their classes, aren’t they? I’m sure they’ve got it.”
Still, Jamil frowns.
You sigh. He really is not letting go, is he?
“Do you want me to go supervise?” you ask.
And leave you, unsaid yet hanging there right after your words.
“Don’t,” Jamil eventually says, the word barely more than a breath.
It seems he has accepted his fate.
You softly caress Jamil’s hair, listening to his softening breathing.
And when you wake up, wholly unaware of having been lulled to sleep in the first place, it’s to the lightest of touches from Jamil’s fingers.
Tagging @diodellet @twstgo @crystallizsch @jamilvapologist @jamilsimpno69 as per request
If you'd like to be tagged for any future works, let me know!
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