#but of course these days it can never be that simple.... thinking my migraine last night is probably not helping w my extra low mood today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myfictionaldreams · 1 year

Note

Hiya! Can I request something for the Mafia!AU? What if Reader is out on their own one day and gets kidnapped and Steve and Bucky save her? The more angst the better. ❤️

The One Weakness // Mafia!Stucky x fem!reader

A/N: Thank you so much for the request! And I can't thank you enough for the header as well!

Tags: 18+ readers only, smut, angst, fluff, violence, blood & injury, kidnapping, hostage, restraints, drugging, protective steve & bucky, oral (f receiving), overstimulated, multiple orgasms, praise kink, possessive

Words: 5.1k

my masterlist 📚 AO3 Link

“I’ll be back in 15 minutes, it’s only down the street, I’ll be fine”, you had stated confidently to your boyfriend Steve, grabbing your purse and preparing to leave for the local coffee shop. Unbeknown to you however, this would be the last sentence you’d say before everything turned dark.

Steve had been adamant about someone accompanying you, it was a dangerous world after all, especially being the girlfriend to the Rogers mafia leader and the second in command. There was a target always hanging over your head and for the most part, there would always be a bodyguard by your side, either Steve or Bucky but most recently it had been Sam.

However today, everyone was preoccupied with the arrival of a new shipment and as you mentioned, the coffee shop was only a few minutes away.

This was your first mistake, that giant target didn’t take a break, there was never a moment where you weren’t in danger, therefore, you shouldn’t have even risked a second let alone a walk to the coffee shop. Your next mistake was the lack of vigilance. Of course, Steve and Bucky had trained you on what to look out for but as the years passed by, never having been alone, you weren’t ever having to look for trouble, that would be your bodyguard's job. Your negligence to this was your downfall.

Maybe it wasn’t as simple as the same car following you every day, no, in fact, they made sure to always have a new car so it wasn’t as simple to notice. Next, they made sure that they had different guards to sit and watch, once again making it more difficult for anyone to notice someone had been following you for a number of weeks.

They didn’t make their move immediately, buying their time, waiting for the perfect moment and that came when you were on your way back, hands busy with carrying the tray of coffees for a few of the gang members. No one else was on the street, not until one of the men exited the grey van that had been sitting and waiting for you to be alone.

You didn’t even have a chance to scream. One moment you were smiling to yourself, thinking of your plans later to surprise Steve and Bucky with a certain costume, and the next there was a sharp, stinging sensation from your neck. The tray of coffee dropping to the floor was the last thing you saw as your body became heavy and you fell unconscious.

The world was spinning as you began to awake, feeling as if you were on a boat during a stormy day, causing your body to sway. A breathtaking migraine was causing your ears to pound from the effects of whatever drugs had been injected into your neck. Stomach felt unsettled by this motion, enough so that you gagged heavily causing your body to lean forward but nothing came up, especially as it would have had nowhere to go with the cloth stuffed in your mouth. It was tied around your head so tight that you couldn’t close your mouth and stretched the skin of your cheek, any saliva was caught in the cloth or dribbling down your chin, leaving your throat unbearably dry.

With each passing minute, you became more aware of what was going on, the adrenaline now pouring through your veins causing your body to uncontrollably shake, only to add to the anxiety. With these movements, you could feel the tight restraints of zip ties against your bare wrists and ankles, holding you to the uncomfortable metal chair.

There weren’t any other places that felt injured and you were still fully clothed, thankfully. Attempting to take the situation one step at a time, you concentrated on your breathing. Slow long deep breaths through your nose, reminding yourself thatyou were alive, you weren’t seriously injured, and you would get through this, if you lost control now there would be no hope.

How much time had passed? You were unsure but from the corner of your eye, there were still streaks of daylight through the open windows, a warm breeze brushing against your skin. Maybe a few hours had passed or was it a different day?

This last thought had your stomach twisting further. Where were Steve and Bucky? Are you even in the same state anymore? The thought of how worried they’d be when you didn’t return from the coffee run had tears springing to your eyes, wishing to be with them so much that your chest ached.

‘Deep breaths’, you tried to imagine Steve was kneeling before you, in his low calm voice, he was always so good with calming your panic down. They would find you, that hope was still strong in your heart, they would do anything to find you.

The next step was to see how secure your restraints really were, giving a hard tug, attempting to use the moves that had been taught to you all of those years ago. But you were not strong enough and with each attempt, the plastic rubbed against your skin until it was sore, you were thoroughly attached to the chair and going nowhere.

Glancing away from your bound wrists, you observed the room you were being held hostage within. It was difficult to do at first as the migraine caused bright lights to dance around in your vision but from what you could make out, there wasn’t much to note.

The room was bare, undecorated save for another chair, slightly dusty and there were two doors, one leading into the hallway and the other to a separate room. However, it was the person sitting in the other chair that had stolen your attention.

Helmut Zemo was sitting casually, knees spread wide, arm lazily hanging off the back of the chair, head tilted slightly to the side with a sickening smirk on his face.

“I’m surprised you haven’t started crying yet”. You were thankful for not crying yet, hating his assumption of your weakness and even though there was nothing more you wanted to do than cry, beg for your life, desperate to be home - this was something you wouldn’t do, needing to stay strong even if it wasn’t your first instinct.

Due to the gag still tightly wrapped around your face, you were unable to respond and simply held eye contact with him. This was where your first sign of weakness was revealed as you had to look away, deciding instead to stare at the floor, wiggling your wrists once more, ignoring the burning sensation from where the zip ties were rubbing.

Helmut’s chair creaked as he sat forward, grasping his hands together as he didn’t take his eyes off of you. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?”

Once again you didn’t respond. You’d heard about Helmut Zemo’s incident. Not only was he nearly arrested due to the actions of the Rogers mafia but all of their equipment had been stolen and used for profit by the orders of Steve, it was all business and something he’d down hundreds of times before, even if Helmut did have a reputation, that wasn’t going to stop Steve.

“Of course, you know”, he answered his own question, standing up now and taking a few small steps towards you, taunting your anxiety. It was almost impossible to hide your trembling body as he moved, eyes still glued to the floor, in your peripheral vision you could see his leather boots taking each step. “Your boyfriend has cost me a lot of money”.

“Ah, but it’s not just one boyfriend, is it? You’re also fucking his best friend”, as he finished his words, he squatted down, so you were both at eye level. Your entire body warmed in embarrassment at his words, hating the way in which he referred to your relationship with Bucky, degrading it.

“It’s getting boring having a one-way conversation”, Zemo muttered more to himself as he reached to undo the cloth around your head, pulling it free. It was instant relief being able to properly close your mouth, jaw aching slightly and finally being able to swallow.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited for this? Months. We’ve been tracking you closely, day and night but those overbearing scumbags wouldn’t leave your side for a second however, the waiting paid off because here you are!” Helmut opened his arms wide, causing you to flinch in response, assuming that he was going to hit you then after realising those weren’t his intentions, you felt shameful for showing weakness once more.

“So what is it then? Have you suddenly become mute? Let’s have a conversation, I want to hear you talk princess, I’m not going to hurt you”.

You almost wanted to laugh at his blatant lie, instead deciding to keep it coy, “likely story”.

Helmut’s smile beamed across his face, “Ah she speaks! What a joyous day indeed”. His arrogance was really starting to grate on you.

“You’re dead”. Your words were meant to be intimidating, showing no fear and in truth, he was more than dead when Steve and Bucky found him.

“See that’s just the thing Princess, I’m actually looking forward to meeting your beloved boys. Truthfully, I’m surprised they haven’t turned up yet, it’s already been 3 hours and I’ve even done them the courtesy of sending a little video of you to them, just for a little bit of motivation”.

Your heart was hammering in your chest, thoughts of Steve and Bucky watching a clip of you unconscious and tied to a chair, it was enough to feel sick once more. At least he answered the question as to how much time had passed.

Zemo continued on the one-sided conversation, “Now you may be wondering, why would I want the most prolific and blood-thirsty gang on my doorstep? That’s because I have their one weakness, you. Do you really think they’re going to come in here, all guns blazing with you in the firing line? I don’t think so. One wrong move and their precious whore will be dead, giving me the perfect opportunity to have them vulnerable”.

A wave of emotions poured through your mind. Burning anger, so sharp that you wanted to rip your restraints off and kill him yourself, even if you died instantly, you didn’t care, the safety of the boys was in danger. Then overwhelming anxiety, losing any ounce of control that you’d been desperately holding onto.

“You’re dead! They’re going to kill you-!” your outburst was cut off by Helmut rolling his eyes, lifting the gag up to your mouth.

“Yes yes, I’m a dead man walking, blah blah, I’ve heard it all before Princess. Now let’s have this conversation again whilst I’m standing over your boyfriend's bodies”. You shook and pulled ruthlessly against your restraints, crying out now in fear as he forced the gag into your mouth once more, tying it extra tight to make your eyes water further.

A single knock sounded at the door and Helmut clapped, turning towards it, “Ah finally! Let the show begin!”, he referred to the knock, as it was a sign that the enemy had arrived.

You truly felt like you were going to pass out with how heavy you were having to breathe to try and calm down, listening to the fight out outside of the door, hearing men and women in conflict from somewhere else in the building and the noise only grew as they got closer to the room you were being held in.

Zemo reached into his large coat, pulled out a handgun than without a rush, casually stepped behind you and out of view. Even though you couldn’t see him, the feeling of the cool metal against the back of your head was undeniable as he pressed the gun against you, waiting and waiting for Steve and Bucky to arrive.

From the sounds of it, the men waiting outside of the door were quickly shot by the loud bangs followed by the noise of them slumping against the door just before it was pushed open.

You released a distressed cry at seeing Steve walk in first, blood splattered across his clothing, eyes ablaze in anger but also fear as he zoned in immediately on your form in the chair. The gun gripped securely in his hands was then pointing at the man standing behind you but he faltered as Zemo pushed his own gun further into your head so that you had to look at the floor once more.

Steve and Helmut took a second to size one another up before the man holding the gun to your head broke the silence with his arrogant tone. “Ah Mr Rogers, you’ve finally decided to join us?”

“Point that gun somewhere else, Zemo”, Steve's voice was firm and almost like ice.

“You see, I don’t think you are in any position to be giving me orders, Rogers. Not when this pretty thing here could have her brain splattered across the wall.”

You whimpered at his threat, still trying to pull your arms and legs free of the restraints, hoping for some miracle that one of them would snap.

“She has nothing to do with this-”

“That’s where you’re wrong! She has everything to do with this, in fact without her, I wouldn’t even be able to be in the same room as you to make my demands”. You could just about see Steve’s shoes from where your head was bent, watching as he tried to take a step forward but still didn’t drop his gun. “Not so fast, why don’t you start by unloading your gun and kicking it over to me”.

Steve made no move to unload his gun, instead continued the conversation. “Did you really think, taking what's mine, hurting her and holding her hostage was a smart move? I’m going to skin you alive Helmut, every single bone in your body is going to be broken for even thinking you could take her away from me”.

Your thundering heart thumped in your ears at his venomous words, knowing that he meant every single one of them.

“You see, how could that possibly be true when I’m the one with a gun pointed at her head, all it would take is one single shot and everything you ever loved would be a distant memory”.

Steve took a single step forward again at the threat. Your mind was in overdrive, knowing that if Steve got too close, it wouldn’t be you who would be dead but in fact him with Zemo’s plan. Steve was falling for the bait.

Unbeknown to you however, Steve had another plan that he was completing. Keep Zemo talking, distracted away from the windows that had Bucky silently climbing through, having scaled the side of the building.

Bucky’s footsteps were silent, only Steve knew he was even in the room as he kept his eyes trained on Helmut.

The first sign you had that Bucky was even in the room was when the gun was suddenly not pushing against the back of your head as Bucky tackled Zemo away, they collided bodies smashing into the spare door in the room, tumbling into the other room.

As the two of them continued to fight out of eyesight, Steve was kneeling in front of you in a single large step, his gun now lying in your lap as his hands cupped your cheeks to have you looking at him, his eyes a great deal softer than they had been upon entering the room. “It’s ok baby, I’ve got you, let’s get you out of here”.

Steve pulled a knife out of the sheath attached to his belt, nimbly snapping the ties off of your feet first, then your left wrist.

“Drop the knife”, Helmut ordered, entering the room once more, gun raised and pointing towards you, with Bucky nowhere to be found. Zemo was now bleeding from multiple scratches on his face, eyes seething.

You thought for a moment that you were going to be sick at not seeing Bucky coming out of that room, what had happened to him? Steve and Bucky were almost invincible in your eyes with the number of fights or trouble that they’d been in, never once losing but now, the horrifying thought crossed your mind that they might have met their match.

Steve dropped the knife, holding his hands up as he looked at the gun and then behind Zemo, looking for Bucky as well, nostrils flaring when Bucky didn’t come out.

“Move away from her”, Zemo continued to instruct, stepping further into the room and towards you. Steve didn’t move immediately, taking a second to get his bearings and to stand, moving like he was going to step in front of you and the gun but Helmut only waved the gun further in your head’s direction, showing that he shouldn’t make such a move.

Through this interaction, your thoughts were heavily on the gun that was lying in your lap. You’d been trained how to use one, but with the intention of never actually having to use one in a life or death situation, the niavety of one of the gang members always being around was a fool's mistake to make. The thought of hurting someone was horrific but in this situation, Steve’s life on the line and Bucky nowhere to be seen, you had to make a split-second decision, hoping to god that this wasn’t the wrong one.

As Steve continued to stare down Zemo, the later who had been staring at you with his gun trained, made the mistake of looking at your boyfriend which meant you could move quickly before he reacted.

Making a split-second decision, with your left hand that was not restrained anymore, you picked up the gun, pointed it towards Helmut and shot. It hit him in the side, not enough to kill immediately but the shock had him faltering for just one single moment which was enough time for Steve to take the gun off of you, and fire five more rounds into Helmut’s head and chest.

Zemo collapsed to the floor dead.

Steve was once more kneeling in front of you before you could process what had happened, cutting free the last restraint and easing the gag out of your mouth. With a gentle touch, Steve cupped your cheek, turning your face away from the sight of the dead man, so that you could look at him. His entire demeanour was different now, there was no sign of anxiety or anger, just a relaxed facial expression.

“Don’t look at him, you’re safe now my love, let’s get you out of here”, he tried to encourage you to stand but there was only one person in your thoughts right now.

“Bucky”. As soon as you’d ushered the name, you were out of your chair, stumbling slightly from the aftereffects of the drugs, Steve was there to catch you though, aiding in your journey into the other room. “Bucky!” you shouted desperately having stepped over Zemo’s corpse and into the other room, seeing Bucky lying on his front, unmoving, a wound at the back of his head from where he’d been hit with the broken vase that scattered across the floor.

In an instant you were crying as Steve crouched next to his body, the stiffness returning to his features, hands shaking slightly as he reached to feel for a pulse, sighing dramatically when he felt a strong one. “He’s alive”.

Steve helped you to turn Bucky onto his back, careful with his head wound as Steve ripped off one of his sleeves, using it to apply pressure against the spot to stop the bleeding. There you lay with his head in your lap, one hand holding the compress and the other stroking his cheek.

Not long passed before his body began twitching and his eyes drifted open, staring up into yours, a sly smirk spreading across his face. “Hey Doll” he croaked.

You couldn't hold back the sob as you leaned down to kiss his forehead tenderly, the ordeal was over, and you were safe.

Eventually, after much argument about going to the hospital or the office, Bucky was helped out by Steve as you followed behind, stepping over the countless bodies that littered the corridors from Zemo’s group. Almost shouting in relief at seeing Sam waiting by the car, instantly running up to him and accepting a hug that melted away the tension in your muscles. They had decided to go to the office where Bucky could be stitched up, he didn’t want to mess around with hospitals.

As this was happening, Steve thoroughly checked every inch of your body for any injuries, noting the pinprick hole in your neck that was tender to the touch due to the injection and where the zip ties had been on your wrists and ankles had caused the skin to bleed slightly. Carefully, he wrapped each other them, his large fingers delicate and then finally, the three of you were ready for home, beyond exhausted.

Steve refused to leave your side, even for a second as he helped with changing your clothes. You couldn’t get out of your clothes quickly enough upon entering the bedroom, needing to shower desperately to get rid of the essence of the day but not being able to due to the bandages. Instead, you opted for a fresh pair of underwear and one of Bucky’s old graphic t-shirts that had seen better days.

Said man was sitting on the bed, massaging his temple for the lingering headache that he had from being hit around the head by the vase. As Steve finally peeled himself away, you saunter over to Bucky, standing between his legs and allowing him to nuzzle into your stomach, both of his hands cupping around your back as your hands ran over his shoulders, holding him close.

Neither of you said a word, nothing needed to be said and if you thought about it too much, you were certain to have a mental breakdown so you tried to keep the mental barrier up for another day. Just need to be in the moment, and feel that you were very much alive and in the embrace of the person you loved.

Steve's body warmed you from behind as he joined, wrapping his arms around your middle to lay one hand on your chest and the other on Bucky’s shoulder, needing to feel each other at this moment. Forgetting about the world, and trying to remember that this was real and everyone, other than the injuries, were alive and safe in each other's touch.

In all honesty, you were more than prepared to stay like that all night but as you glanced down at Bucky and saw the dressing on his wound, you decided he needed to rest. “Come on Buckaroo, you need to get some rest, I think we all do, let’s lie down.”

He did as instructed without a single word, helping you onto the bed, allowing you time to get comfortable in the middle of the bed so that he could then lay his head on your stomach, arm draping over your hip. Your fingers played with the short hair from where it wasn’t covered by a dressing, watching as Steve knelt on the soft bed, hands wandering up your bare legs until he was sat between them, staring at you both.

“I know we’re all tired but I need to just say this. What happened today, will not ever happen again. You will never be in harm's way and I can promise that you are safe with us. There is nothing I wouldn’t do to find you, I’d walk across the world to find you again so even if things feel dark, I will always find you.”

A lump formed in your throat as you looked at the intensity of Steve’s gaze down at you, you knew his words were true, but never doubted for a moment the length that he would go to, to get you back. You were unsure as to what to say, fearing that you may cry so you simply whispered the words, “I know”.

He nodded his head relieved, hands trailing delicately over the sensitive skin of your thighs. “Good. You’re always my priority” he muttered to last words as he towered over Bucky to kiss your lips softly before sitting back on his knees between your legs, glancing down to your underwear-covered centre.

On instinct your hole was clenching in arousal at the stare, biting your lip as his fingers drifted closer. “Bucky needs to rest”, you whispered, still stroking through the brunette’s hair, wanting nothing more than to fulfil whatever Steve had in mind but also sometimes moments like this took away rational thoughts, trying to have Bucky’s welfare in mind and not wanting him to be left out.

The man lying on your stomach began to respond, his voice vibrating through you, “I think what Steve has in mind won’t be too strenuous for me, mama”.

“How is having sex not strenuous?” you asked, body flushing with heat as Steve’s fingers hooked into the waistband of your underwear.

“Because we are not having sex, this is only about you. After today… I just- I need to taste you, feel you against my fingers, my tongue, need to hear you happy and crying out our names, because you’re OURS. I need you to feel good so you’re going to lie there as I make you feel good, I don’t want you to worry about our needs, just your own”.

The flimsy material of your underwear snapped beneath his fingertips and you made no move to stop him, watching through heavy eyelids as he lowered his body until he was lying on his front. Tentatively, he places both of your legs over each of his shoulders, hands cupping around your thighs and holding you in place.

From his position, you couldn’t see his face anymore as he descended lower, with Bucky in the way who was watching everything closely, his metal arm reaching for both of your hands to hold them both down onto the bed so that you were entirely at the mercy of them both.

First, you felt Steve’s warm breath against your folds, this had your breath hitching slightly with anticipation. Then it was his glorious tongue, delicate at first, trying to map out your cunt by exploring every area, tickling the nerves and drinking the juices that had begun to form. He lapped up everything you had to offer, not moving to penetrate just yet but instead, dancing over your clit in different rhythms. Making sure to truly build up your arousal, back and forth, in a circle, spelling your name with the tip of his tongue.

You were already breathing hard causing Bucky’s head to dip up and down but he didn’t mind, loving the desperate little noises that were coming out of your mouth. Steve was a master at work, not rushing to do anything, his eyes were closed as he memorised every single way that your body moved, and clenched, and the moans of his name were his particular favourite.

“Please, please don’t stop”, the sensation in your cunt was clenching harder, your orgasm so close to reaching its peak. Steve didn’t stop his movements, and kept at his steady pace, knowing it was driving you crazy but it was well worth it when your cunt suddenly began to spasm against his chin as the orgasm tipped you over the edge.

Your eyes were glazed over as he gave you 30 seconds to recover, a happy grin celebrated on your face, expecting Steve to crawl up the bed but he didn’t, he stayed exactly where he was, in between your legs.

His long, warm tongue was suddenly breaching your hole, once again licking up all the juices that had leaked out of you, his nose knocking into your clit, causing your head to tip back as you released an almighty cry of pleasure. Everything was slightly sensitive post orgasm but it was perfect.

Steve was a man on a mission, seeing just how many orgasms he could get from you with just his lips, tongue and teeth, nipping every so often against your precious clit, loving the way you squirmed. It felt like he’d been doing it for hours, unsure how he was even able to carry on without getting an ache in his jaw but he never stopped, not even for a break as continuous orgasms were being drained from you.

All the whilst, Bucky had begun to praise you endlessly, still watching his friend closely from where he lay on your stomach, your arms still very much pinned to the bed.

“You’re doing so good for him, mama”. “Is he making you feel better? Tell me how good he’s making you feel”. “You look so beautiful with Steve’s tongue in your cunt, our beautiful girl”.

With each praise, your cunt was clenching viciously around Steve’s tongue, they both knew exactly what they were doing to you, making you feel like the most beautiful girl in the world all whilst only pleasuring you, never expecting anything back, it was pure perfection.

Eventually, your speech was being more slurred and your head lolling to one side as your energy was drained from feeling so good, they knew you were reaching your end soon. “One more baby, let me just see and hear one more orgasm, you’re doing so well”. It was Steve this time to speak, his voice silky from between your legs.

You cried out as his lips formed a seal around your clit, sucking on it hard and both men had to really try to hold you down as you let out a deep scream that ached your throat. It was the most intense orgasm yet, your mind absolute mush as you were also certain you’d squirted slightly over Steve’s face from the chuckle from Bucky, his praises increasing as Steve desperately licked up every drop he could find.

“Alright baby, we’re stopping, that’s a good girl”, Steve encouraged, easing your floppy legs it felt like your clit was slightly swollen as you bought your legs together for a second, everything was so sensitive that you had to keep your legs apart.

Steve finally crawled up the bed, his face red and chaffed slightly but he didn’t care, the broadest grins across his face as he settle an arm underneath your head, lying on his side next to yours. Glancing down, you’d notice the wet patch on his underwear from where he had come just from watching you cum.

Bucky remained where he was, lying on your stomach the grip on your arms relaxed now but you didn’t make any attempt to move them, already trying to fight off sleep long enough to say, “I love you both, so much and nothing would ever change that”.

Steve smiled softly against your temple, “we love you too.”

#mafia steve rogers #mafia bucky #mafia au #steve rogers smut #steve rogers one shot #bucky barnes smut #bucky smut #bucky barnes one shot #bucky one shot #marvel smut #marvel one shot #steve rogers #bucky #marvel #mine*

921 notes · View notes

stararch4ngelqueen · 7 months

Text

Guessing Game

My lovely little Ghost pregnancy not short Drabble.

Word Count: 7.7k

- - -

Moments of silence with your husband were usually tranquil and serene in the comforts of your own home. It was rare for the aura between you both to be fueled with unbridled tension and hesitation to even breathe properly.

The two of you said nothing for the longest time in the sanctuary of your living room, on your comfortable couch. In the silent man’s hand, he held a test, which he proceeded to set down on the coffee table in front of him.

Positive.

A little pink sign on a tiny screen, bright as day, staring at you both like a sore thumb.

That’s supposed to be a good thing, Positives usually mean good things. Happy, joyful, erratic, exciting. Good.

Positives however, can also be scary, terrifying, petrifying.

Your heart sank deep into the bottom of your stomach, a dreadful ache following suit that lingered as every minute passed in this silence.

You hated it, but you didn't know what to say.

It started off as an odd feeling, just a couple of days ago. A bit of dizziness in the morning, a slight queasiness after, but nothing more. You blamed it on allergies, or a migraine due to lack of proper sleep, anything but that single, simple idea of what it could’ve been.

The signs grew more unquestionably obvious with every day passed, the sickness, the shift in your emotions, the sinking feeling as the possibility grew more and more intense with each passing hour.

You went out during a grocery run, and couldn't stop yourself from arriving at a pharmacy, heading towards that one particular aisle containing just what you needed.

You didn’t even know when or how-

You stopped yourself right there. You’d be an absolute fool if you considered finishing that thought for a sentence.

You know how it happened, of course you knew. Question was, you couldn’t exactly remember when. It sort of happened quite often.

Just for good measure, you had also bought three other boxes, which were currently jumbled in your bathroom sink, each revealing the same exact message.

A part of you, a tiny part of you, buried underneath all the stomach burning anxiety and dread of this new onset reality was kind of delighted, excited in fact, bringing forth upon you a wish you never realized you’d forgotten about. One you believed you had no right to have after the life you lived.

To have a baby with the man you loved, truly loved. A fair amount of the population’s absolute dream.

An honest, beautiful dream, but for all you knew, it was only yours. At one point, not once did you ever think if it was his dream as well.

That was until a few weeks ago once it was brought up, during a late-night discussion in bed.

“How do you feel about a baby?”

An honest, curious question had never made the man stiffer in his life, feeling his hands on you grow stiff like dead branches before he released you, catching you completely by surprise.

The both of you were stable, financially at least. Emotionally however, all that bustled through Simon’s head were the great cons that outweighed the pros.

An honest, simple question turned into a forty-minute discussion over both your heavy worries and concerns. His concerns, his fears, his terror of bringing a version of himself to this dangerous, unpredictable world of chaos and death, bred by the man who enjoyed creating such.

You reassured him constantly, by then just wishing to end the topic then and there. An honest question grew too harshly awkward, painfully dragged out at the realization that Simon may not have wanted children at all.

It was a thorn you shouldn’t have pricked your finger on, so you were content to step back and let the topic go.

Simon’s face, brows contorted with distress still, realized your ache at this discussion. You didn’t wish to scare him, and the last thing he wanted was to scare you, which was exactly what he was doing.

When it came to you, his heart softened at the reality of you being the doe eyed mother of his child, born with your love and beauty, your charisma and valor. A headstrong boy or girl with a mother like you to guide them along the way, this world lacked that kind of bond in the places no one dares to check.

“Is this something you want?” Simon finally speaks his mind, concerned over what was going through yours.

Immediately, you begin to release everything, slowly listing out a series of options that came to the top of your head, ones he wasn't expecting to hear. Going to a clinic, figuring out your options, that sort of thing if he didn’t want the baby.

Simon immediately stops you from speaking further.

“Forget about me for just a second,” Simon states, realizing he may have come off too harshly on this matter towards you, potentially giving you the wrong idea.

“What about you?” He asks in a calm, softened tone. Me?

“Is this something you want?”

You hesitate, glancing everywhere but him as your fingers clench at the bedsheets.

His hand takes yours, his other lightly sweeping through your hair. “Tell me the truth. I won’t force this on you.”

You look him in the eyes, those eyes you absolutely adored.

Oftentimes, you hear him say he doesn’t deserve you, but sometimes you can’t help but find him adorable for him being blatantly unaware of when you think in vice versa to this.

His consideration on your behalf melted your heart to its very core.

“I’ve always wanted this, Simon.” You admit, unable to hold back the tears as you look down.

“At one point in my life, I never even thought of it, but lately… “ You huffed out a weak laugh, wiping your soaked cheeks with the back of your fingers.

“I don’t know, I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but there’s so many worries I have.”

“Like what?” He asked.

“If I’d even be a good mom,” you proceeded, the tears continuing to fall. “If I could even take that responsibility, if the man I thought I’d marry when I wanted to grow up would be there alongside me all the way and have a cute little family.”

The dreadful worries began to crowd your head, much against your better judgment. If you’d carry them to full term, if Simon would stay the entire way, if he second guessed and didn’t want the baby any longer, or if something happened to the baby?

He holds you close, cradling your head close. Softly, he hushed against your forehead, his nose pressed against the crown of your hair.

“But, what if you don’t want-“ you proceeded, feeling his head shake against your head.

“No,” he stops you. “Don’t say that, love.”

He goes quiet, growing lost in his thoughts as you continuously sniffle, patiently wiping your eyes repeatedly. His comforting hug felt so stiff, so foreign, so tense. You always melted in his embrace, but the hesitation that flooded your bones prevented you from doing so.

“I don’t know if I can hold that responsibility of bein’ a good father.” He brings himself to admit, a personal truth that hurts even him to exhale it. Maybe it’s the shock still setting in that makes him say this, but it's still pure, brutal honesty.

Your heart sinks at those words. Even if you were to try to convince him that you could physically see him pacing around a pink or blue tinted nursery, swaddling a baby in his broad arms, he’d never see it that way, feeling himself incapable of clutching something so delicate and pure in his hands.

Never did he see himself being a good father, compared to the life he had, but your words gave him a bit of an epiphany.

If the man you wanted to marry during your childhood’s hopeful dreams was going to remain to help raise a beautiful child and have a happy family, that didn’t mean you’d be doing it alone. He’d take on this role, and he wanted to stay beside you, regardless of it all.

A child with your eyes sounded wonderful. It was interesting really, you were thinking the exact same about him, the excitement and anxiety deep down in both your stomachs still.

“But I want to try,” Simon admits, holding your hands securely in his.

- - -

“Can we start this over?” You spoke up, breaking through this painfully tense silence you’ve felt unable to sit through for a second longer.

He quietly nodded, watching you rise up, plucking the test from the coffee table before walking out of the living room.

You stopped in the middle of the hallway, feeling your fingers trembling as your nerves refused to settle.

This wasn’t how you wanted this to go. You wanted to surprise him in some cuter, more innocent way, but he had caught you completely by surprise as you opened the bathroom door, finding Simon standing on the other side.

Seeing his head tilt down and catch a glimpse of that test immediately destroyed every possible opportunity to surprise him, though you knew it was something you couldn’t be disappointed at forever.

Taking a calm breath, you gather up all the excitement you could muster in your body before turning around, quickly heading back towards the living room entryway.

Before you could muster a word, you were met with a strong wall of warm, black shirt clad muscle, your husband enveloping you in his broad arms, clutching you like his only saving grace.

Simon heard your laugh erupt from your lips, this sudden gesture catching you by surprise as you hugged him back, feeling your feet lift off the floor once you secure your arms around his neck.

With your happiness came tears, joining in with your wide smile. Simon’s eyes glistened with pure, raw emotions, consisting of adoration and raw, unfiltered love the second he looked into your eyes before flooding you with passionate kiss after kiss.

He was scared though. He would always be scared, but for now, he turned his walls into open gates, allowing you to flood his very being with warmth and light, feeling the happiest he’s ever been, following second to his proposal to you.

“A little you,” he muffled against your lips after kissing you for a final time.

“A little you,” you repeated with a giggle.

“With those pretty eyes of yours.” You whisper up to him, grazing your free hand against his cheek once he set you down.

“Christ save me if it has your attitude,” He mutters against your forehead before placing another kiss on it, forcing a snort from your nose in amusement.

That night, he brought you flowers and your favorite chocolates, promising to take you out to eat at your favorite restaurant the next evening. Even after all this time, he still wasn’t a fan of public places, but this was such a celebration, he would do it all in the name of you.

5 weeks.

It wasn’t enough for an ultrasound worth seeing to check for something exciting beyond the size of a pearl or rice grain, but now there was something here. Someone there, and it would soon rely on the two of you to protect it, to love and cherish it.

This would mean you would have to be away from your military lifestyle, taking on this new role while Simon continued on with his. You had to admit you were jealous, especially as the wave of maternal thoughts continuously reminded you of this new position.

With this blessing came so many worries. Simon would have to continue his lifestyle, meaning he’d be gone for long periods of time. How could you cope exactly with this? What would happen, especially after the baby was born?

Maybe you were just thinking ahead.

Only time would really tell if you were true to your word of physically and mentally preparing for it.

Your only regret for the moment was not preparing an adorable pregnancy reveal surprise for him, though time will tell if you have a chance to make up for it.

- - -

You were craving s’mores, but not just any s’mores.

You were dying for that crispy, burnt marshmallow taste, but despised the idea of smoke from a campfire, your nose suddenly souring at the thought, and the rainy weather outside had been unforgiving these past few weeks.

You’ve taken to baking a lot lately these past few evenings, scattered along the last few weeks, keeping your area lit up with the warm stovetop light, melding perfectly with the cozy ambience of your kitchen.

Your kitchen had been your experiment room, your science lab, smelling of rich chocolate and burnt marshmallows as you set your clear glass pan onto a heat protected surface, closing your oven with a gloved hand.

A Graham cracker crust, a rich, fudgy brownie filling, and marshmallow fluff that toasted delightfully on top, thanks to the broiler in your oven.

They were just a more aesthetically pleasing version of slutty brownies, delicious looking ones at least.

21 weeks in, the changes were growing ever so obvious. Your abdomen grew a bit plush, but still thankfully secured under the sanctuary of Simon’s gray t-shirt.

Since you woke up this morning, all you craved was brownies. But fuck it, it was a better craving than something sick, like ice cream and soy sauce, or some other horridly confusing craving you discovered other pregnant women had.

Don’t even bother trying it.

“You gonna finish it this time?” Simon piqued as he stood at the other end of your kitchen counter, watching you cut into this delectable creation, hearing the crunch of the graham crackers as fudgy chocolate and gooey marshmallow clung to your knife from the cut.

It was in the oven for about fifty minutes, but the possibility of raw eggs was nothing compared to the amount of sugar in this invention. At the very least, he made sure you had eaten proper, healthier food throughout the day until now, so satisfying this craving wouldn’t truly hurt every now and then.

“Of course, I will,” you looked up at him after plating four sizable slices on the plate, bits of melted marshmallow coating your fingers of your opposite hands. “You think this is all just for me? You’ve wanted s’mores just as much as I have.”

You tilted your head to the stove, gesturing towards the kettle that whistled for attention during your discussion. “I want some of that earl grey tea too, please.”

You say that because he usually doesn’t drink sweetened tea with his desserts, that was his given fancy. Plain tea cuts through the sweetness perfectly.

“Alright, as long as you only eat two of those. That much sugar will drive you up the damn walls.” Simon mentioned while gathering two mugs from the top cupboard, setting them on the counter.

“Bite me, Riley.” You muttered in amusement, clutching hold of the tray with a still gloved hand while making the final cuts to your dessert.

“I have. Can still see it from here, love.” His voice trailed into your ear from behind you as he passed by, his form lightly, yet innocently brushing along your backside to get the earl grey from another cabinet.

You smiled, a tint of color flushing your cheeks as you licked the remnants off the side of the knife before placing it in the sink.

It was silly, really. With sugar, came the surge of arousal. Hormones really loved to mess with your mind and turned you from his ever doting, needy little wife into his ever doting, needy little wife. It was a tough price to pay.

Tough price to pay indeed.

- - -

“Once this baby sees you, an’ once it touches your skin, they’ll see you as their entire perfect world.” His lowered tone rumbled deliciously from his throat, trailing along the skin of your neck in a similar fashion to his hands.

“You’ll be a wonderful little mother.” He mutters this promise to you, this elegant truth, whether your mind allows it to be believable or not.

Simon’s soothing words mumbled along the shell of your ear, his arms secured around you like a shield of comfort, more secure than any soft blanket after being tossed in the dryer.

You were fresh out of a warmed bath, warm enough to sleep in without being scalding, scented with your favorite bath soaps and oils, turning you into a glistening queen as he sat beside the tub to keep you company, talking about anything and everything to your heart’s content until the water was bordering the edges of lukewarm and cold.

You seemed more concerned over how you appeared as time passed, as if Simon would ever view you any less than desirable. He didn't understand this sudden change in attitude at first, viewing you as nothing more than a diamond after spending decades trapped in coal. Pure, utter perfection bred from years of mind melding pressure from the eyes of the world.

Scars or not, your changing body was gorgeous to him, going through a beautiful process to nurture your growing child.

Simon’s war weathered hands worked wonders along your skin, massaging along your shoulders down to your legs, working the muscles that would eventually grow swelled with time. He never minded this, knowing you’d deserve everything you deserve and more for this laborious task of carrying his child.

Old Friends of yours, and the internet of course, recommended that moisturizing was key during pregnancy, to combat those stretch marks.

The sweet almond oil was merely a plus, as well as the vanilla scented cocoa and shea body butter you used to seal in the moisture. You glistened like an absolute goddess, perfuming his dreams as he cradled you close at night.

It was even working on him, his hands always felt a little bit softer after such a routine each evening.

“An’ before you know it, our little kid will be drinkin’ their tea through their sippy cups.”

A small smile tickled the corners of your lips, a short, amused snort leaving your nose from the comment.

There it was, that smile that Simon adored so much.

A part of him knew that this wouldn’t be the last time these raging hormones would drag you down, but what good was a husband if not an anchor to your worries and concerns?

- - -

“Just one sip?”

“No.”

“But Si-“

“No.” Came his firm reply yet again, all while reading through today’s mail.

Wine. You wanted wine. You craved it desperately, but you couldn’t have it.

Whatever idiotic, controversial topic you had read off your phone or heard from one of your girlfriends was something he wished he could rip from your head and shove it back to where it belonged.

He knew you liked wine, particularly sweet ones, and was aware you had very well missed it, but regardless, he was dreadfully against it.

He cut back on cigarettes for his baby, so like hell any single drop of alcohol was going to touch your tongue, even if it was just for a taste.

Simon got you sparkling grape cider after you spent two days complaining, but it wasn’t the same. Who cares? It was sweet and didn’t have alcohol.

“But the doctor said-“

“The bloody doctor’s not here, is he?!” Simon’s voice raised instantly, leaving you stunted as he glared at you from the corner of his eye. Like hell you were going to use that no-good doctor’s words as an excuse.

You groaned, rolling your head back before stomping out of the kitchen.

“Fuck you, Riley!” You shouted at him from down the corridor before shutting yourself in the bedroom.

“Love you as well,” he mutters, gathering the ripped open envelopes in his hands.

The silly stories of men being concerned, if not frightened for their wives’ outbursts sounded absolutely absurd. If anything, he tried his very best to hold back any sign of amusement, any twitch of a smile or accidental huff of laughter at how adorable you looked being irritated over something you couldn't have.

It’s not the worst he’s seen you before, but thinking that now, he wasn't sure if he was speaking too soon.

You’ll get over it.

- - -

“You’ll be a wonderful father, Simon.” You reassured him, remaining by his side as a subtle roar of thunder echoed in the horizon from miles away.

30 weeks, 30 weeks and the broad, physical changes started to set in.

The bump stretched through most of his shirts, but you were more than content to be comfortable in his black hoodie. You found him after dinner outside after he had done the dishes, leaning on his crossed arms against the porch fence, a lit cigarette in his hand as he took in the storm’s afterglow ambience.

You rubbed his forearm soothingly, settling your hand against his open palm as his fingers relaxed from the touch of yours.

You knew he still struggled with the new mentality of this reality.

Every day, you saw it flash across his eyes once or twice a day, leading him to disappear every so often for minutes at a time to gather his bearings. Ten minutes grew into thirty, evolving into him remaining on your front porch for an hour, watching the rain fall merely inches in front of his face.

“I never saw myself bein’ a father,” he admits slowly after such a long silence, his lowered tone almost muffled by the storm.

You nod to his confession, despite the burn in your heart to hear it.

He says this due to his mother’s words, an echo of a memory voicing through his thoughts from so long ago.

“He’s your father and there’s always gonna be a piece of him in you.”

The thought alone was more terrifying than his fear of you going into labor if he wasn’t around.

If the bastard was alive, he’d make sure he’d stay dead in a ditch far from society, making it impossible for him to ever learn of his child’s name, preventing him from even mentioning it in crude vain.

“But seein’ you like this,” He continues on, giving your fingers a gentle squeeze, “Seeing you carry my child, our child I mean, made me realize exactly why.”

You nodded slowly again, feeling a bit more considerate to his truth. He didn’t need to voice it, for it was a truth you’d known for quite a long time. You didn’t need to know a cruel, heatless man to understand that your husband was nothing of the sort, not by a long shot.

“You’re not your father, Simon.” You squeeze his hand as you say these words, feeling his gaze trail to yours.

“You know not what to do, how not to act, and I know it's not going to be easy, but I’m here too,” You gently encourage him, trying your best to keep hopeful for him to see what you saw.

“We’ve got each other, right? And like you said, once they see you, they’re gonna view you as the perfect father.”

Simon wondered how he got so lucky to have a woman like you in his life, sporting a gentle love he had only known from his mother.

Stepping away from the railing, Simon lowered his hand along the smooth fabric shielding your belly. Smoothing his palm against it, his eyes followed your fingers as they trailed along his inked tattoos, mindlessly swirling over the patterns as you stepped closer to him.

“We should get ready for bed. Now come inside, I’m not supposed to be breathing this stuff in.” You softly say to him, meeting his nod as he chucked out the cigarette towards the puddles of mud out in the yard, before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“You chose to come out here.”

“Because my husband needed his wife and child to remind him how much we love him.”

- - -

“What is that?” You ask from the entryway to the kitchen the next morning, lured in by a new scent melding with the usual aroma of ground coffee and toast.

“Food.” He curtly replied, standing in front of the stove.

The fragrant, slightly spicy smell was delightful to you, but you weren’t sure about what it was. You had an idea, but you dreaded what it could’ve been. Maybe that’s why your husband stood the way he did at the stove, purposely blocking your view from the pan.

“Simon, what is it?” You asked again, your curiosity getting the better of you.

His head craned a little, sparing you a glance over his shoulder, seeing you slightly hidden behind the wall. “You won’t like it.”

“Just tell me what it is.”

“Black pudding.”

“Oh.” The contorted face you made immediately confirmed your views on it.

“Want to try?” Simon offered as he glanced back towards the pan.

“No.” He expected that response. You were content with everything he enjoyed in a full English breakfast except that, everything but that.

“Y’sure?” He piqued while plating both your foods, setting the pan back on the stove before setting one of the plates down on the table. He motioned for you to sit with a tilt of his head, watching you hesitantly approach.

He plated the so-called monstrosity on both your plates, knowing very well you couldn’t deny the hunger, despite being well aware of your thoughts for it. Won’t like it until you try, at least.

“Why does it look like that?” Your nose almost scrunched at it as you sat down.

“Cause it’s made with blood, love.” Simon states while filling up two mugs with hot beverages. “Good for ya.”

The look you gave him made it almost impossible to hide a smile any longer.

“Won’t disappear the longer you keep starin’ at it,” Simon chimed after watching you prod at your eggs once he sat down.

“Why’d you do this to me?’ You looked at him with a bit of a pout, frowning at his held back smirk as you proceeded to put your portion onto his plate. Christ, you’re like a little child with steamed veggies.

“Cause it smells good, yeah?” Damn him for knowing that.

You shrug. “I guess.”

“Won’t cause harm in tryin’ it,” Peering back down at his plate, he worked at his own helping, hopefully taking this opportunity to change your mind on what he viewed as essential to an english breakfast.

“Here.” He offered a tiny amount on the tip of a fork to you. You hesitated, your head retching back like a kid avoiding a foul-tasting medicine.

It looked so horrid to you, even if it did look like charred, sliced sausage, but it smelled incredible.

“C’mon, or I’ll keep ya at the table.”

He sounded so strange when he teased, his jokes as terrible as this blood pudding appeared. Nevertheless, you opened your mouth, accepting the food.

“It’s spicy.” You mutter as you chew slowly. By now, Simon couldn't hold back his amusement any longer, watching you swallow before glancing back at your plate, particularly towards the now vacant spot beside the tomatoes.

“Still hungry?” He pried.

You nodded. There were many other tasty options for you right in front of you, but as you picked up your fork, you refrained from selecting anything else.

“What do you want?” He questioned after noting your continued silence.

“That.” You muttered almost shamefully.

“What?”

“That.” You craned your head to motion at the black pudding still on his plate.

A fraction of a smirk formed on his face as he placed it back onto your plate, a low chuckle leaving him. “Good, right?”

“I guess.” You shrugged before putting a more sizable piece in your mouth, almost looking ashamed to eat it.

You weren’t ashamed for eating a peanut butter sandwich with pickle slices in it. How is this worse?

It was truly amusing, if you weren’t pregnant, you wouldn’t even be in the kitchen at this very moment.

“This a new craving now?” Simon couldn't help asking midway through you popping another piece in your mouth, hearing you muffle in agreement while covering your mouth.

“Our little one’s a true Brit now, yeah?”

“Don’t say that ever again.” You chuckled into your hand, cutting another sizable piece with your fork. Simon couldn’t be more amused and ever so happy that you were his wife and mother to his child.

- - -

The anxiety of the small baby shower that was soon to happen later on in the day prevented you from getting a good night’s rest, so you settled to do your favorite little hobby: baking, at six in the morning.

Specifically, making specialty cupcakes for the party.

Usually, you would’ve used boxed mix for that quick fix, but in this case, you did what you called “doctoring up” the cake mix.

An extra egg, swap the amount of water for milk, and use the good vanilla paste from Mexico.

He walked in on you shutting the oven after checking on the baking goods, the warm vanilla swirling deliciously in the air alongside fresh brewed coffee, lightly fogging up the kitchen window in front of the sink.

Six months.

Six months went by so terribly fast. With every passing day, you beamed with motherhood soon to come, spending your days as comfortable and as lazily as possible.

Those cupcakes would soon eye him every time he opened the fridge later today, making the mystery of the truth grow all the more curious in his head.

Only you knew the true gender, a secret you guarded very well the moment you two were alone after the doctor’s visit.

“You’re banned from the kitchen once I start frosting, you know.” You spoke up, showing him a little smile as you pulled out multiple sticks of butter from the fridge, setting them on the warm stove so they’d come to room temperature faster.

“More concerned for you walkin’ around half asleep.” He approached you, watching you huff and shake your head. “I’m fine-”

“Now now, don’t wanna hear any of it.” Simon gently takes you in his arms from behind, feeling you sigh against his chest before relaxing in his embrace.

Slowly, he trailed his hands down over your belly, cradling the underside of your swollen, unborn child.

His favorite activity, his most cherished act to do during his pastime, regardless of where the two of you were, was to hold them. To rest his hands along where he imagined little hands would press, or little feet that would kick back against.

He’d lightly rest his head against the side of your tummy in silence, feeling your fingers comb through his hair as you watched with content, seeing his facial muscles relax, his brow lowering in various thoughts of how their child would look like. These silly, innocent little thoughts always lulled him to sleep, temporarily banishing any and every harsh, dark thought that threatened to overtake him.

“You sure you wanna do this?” You softly ask, hinting towards the baby shower later this evening.

The baby shower was a shared idea between you and Kate’s wife, who began calling a few times a week to check up on you, taking a sort of maternal role on your behalf, providing a fair amount of support without being overbearing.

He was never one for parties. Public parties, anything that involved more than five people at least. But he knew all who were arriving and worked alongside most of them through thick and thin, they may as well be a sort of second family.

Simon had stepped plenty out of his comfort zone alongside you these past few months, doing grocery runs with you, eating out when neither of you felt like cooking, attending local events so you didn't feel cooped up in the house too often, despite Simon’s silent persistence that he would’ve preferred you to remain at home, except for the occasional doctor’s visit.

This baby shower will be here at home, a nice little event where everyone can have fun and bring the baby gifts. After learning what it meant, he couldn’t rob you of that experience.

“I’ll be alright,” He settles your worries, taking a gentle hold of your shoulders to guide you towards the door. “You need rest, love. Get a few hours to yourself, I’ll wake you for your breakfast.”

“Wait,” You tried to stop your steps, despite Simon insisting you continue walking forward.

“Make sure the cupcakes are taken out after fifteen minutes-”

“Will do.”

“And just set them on the-”

“Heat proof pans,” Simon confirmed, “I know. Go get your rest, love.”

- - -

You’ve never seen Simon so relaxed after a delicious dinner, sitting with most of the men in the living room, sharing a couple of beers, the good beers that Soap had brought for the party, conversing happily over various topics and stories, catching up after some lost time.

Through every shared chuckle, every change in subject between the men, Simon couldn't help but shift his attention over towards his wife, standing with Kate and her beloved, chattering your head off while mindlessly resting your hand over the baby bump.

You looked so vibrant, glowing in extravagant excellence. You wore a loose light pink dress that went past your knees, with comfortable, soft puffy sleeves. Tons of tiny blue flowers decorating the fabric of the skirt, accommodating your pregnant tummy beautifully.

You sipped a sparkling elderflower mocktail, thanks to an elderflower nonalcoholic beverage Simon had gotten you that you actually enjoyed.

Alejandro and Rodolfo arrived around four in the evening, apologizing profusely for being two hours late, but the fact that they even arrived had significantly warmed your heart.

“There’s no way we’d miss this special day, Princesa,” Alejandro stated after sharing a warm, heartfelt hug.

In Rodolfo’s hands he carried a large gift, a baby gift set his sisters had made for you, decorated in various yellows and soft, pastel greens, with kisses of pink and blue, a giant mystery to what the baby’s gender might’ve been. It gladly joined the rest of the presents that piled up in the corner of the room, remaining untouched until a particularly exciting event took place.

Kate’s wife immediately helped take the gift to add towards the pile. She had been an absolute dream with you, being as mindful as Simon, if not more than him, when it came to your needs. Arriving a half hour before the party began, helping with dinner, making sure you didn't stand for so long to rest your sore feet.

She was the apple of Kate’s eye, their relationship making you smile delightfully each chance you could.

“So, what’re you gonna do about the job?” Soap couldn't help but ask Simon, a question lingering in the air like a shadow.

Despite Simon never once minding the fact that he stayed home for you, there was the inevitable possibility that he’d have to go back to work, which meant he’d be far out of his family’s reach.

He hated it, the thought alone shooting a sour taste over his tongue. He couldn't avoid the topic forever, but it was a discussion he’d need to have with you. It wouldn't be a pretty one, but he had to have it at some point.

“Don’t quite know yet, Johnny.” He replied, glancing back over towards his wife before looking towards the Sergeant. “An’ I’d appreciate it if its not brought up again.”

“No no,” Soap held up a hand in calm defense, “I get it. Honest, wouldn't blame ya if you stayed. Doubt she’d let yer ass through the door.”

Simon huffed, slightly joining in on the man’s chuckle. That’s a level of unbridled new mother rage he’s hoping he’d never get to see.

“Are these it?” Gaz called your attention from the kitchen, holding the tray of cupcakes you kept in the freezer.

“Yep! It is.” You cheerfully replied, getting Kate to gather the men towards the dining room, either filling up the limited chairs or standing around. Simon was adamant on giving you a seat to rest in, but after some quick, hushed words, you convinced him to sit down, remaining by his side once the cupcakes were passed out with little napkins.

“So, what’s the game here?” Alejandro questioned, taking the cupcake once you offered it before passing it along to someone else.

“The game is we each take a bite and tally up the color we get. Odd color wins, gentleman. Place your bets now.” Kate announces, hearing Gaz huff while peering towards the Scotsman, muttering a few hushed words.

“Ah ah ah! Not literally, you idiot!” You quickly speak out, going against Soap, who purposely leaned back against his seat to pull out his wallet.

He snickered, purposefully acting the way he did to simply get a rise out of you, finding every chance he could incredibly amusing.

“No bets at my baby shower, John.” You ordered, watching him raise his hands in playful submission.

The man himself wore a dark blue shirt. As blue as the Scottish flag, he had stated after giving you a hug when he arrived. Despite the idea of a boy, he did mention a girl would be just as, if not, even more delightful a thought.

He could see any child the both of you had absolutely loved to death regardless, not only by its parents, but by everyone else who came to show their support.

The man himself offered to begin this little game, the suspense forcing him to chuckle as he bit into the cupcake, causing cold buttercream to smear the tip of his nose.

His eyes significantly widened the second he looked down, quickly turning around for the others to view the small pocket of pink hidden underneath the dome of piped frosting.

A small chorus of laughter and cheers erupted from the table, watching the man gather himself as he set the cupcake down, licking the frosting from his lips.

Gaz was next, helping himself to the cupcake in front of him. He took a more interesting approach, proceeding to bite into the frosting rather than the cake, revealing the purposefully pastel blue dyed frosting, casting a smile upon the man’s face as the color matched the light blue button up he wore.

“Alright! We got a boy!” He announced, chuckling along with a few others before he set it down.

“Unless you’re jestin’ us and hinting that yer havin’ twins.” Soap added in while licking his thumb of frosting after enjoying another bite.

The strain and hesitant laughter that came from you was forced, feeling your hand give Simon’s a decently firm squeeze, quietly reveling in the secret blessing that it wasn’t. It was interesting enough learning from just one, you wouldn't know what you would’ve felt with the possibility of twins.

Up next was Rodolfo, who had worn a white long sleeve, but that didn’t stop him from scoring a dark blue bracelet he had lifted up in defense to failing the dress code, something you didn’t hold against him. He held up his cupcake, presenting it like a trophy to reveal the pocket of blue underneath, cheering with the others.

“Oye, you should sell these. Open up a little bakery,” He proposed before taking another bite, watching you smile and giggle. It was good to see your love for baked goods get appreciated by others. It definitely saved money from buying them elsewhere.

Your altered taste buds despised the store-bought stuff anyway.

Alejandro wore a light pink button up with rolled up sleeves, biting into his cupcake once his turn came around. His eyes widened at the blue frosting, faking a pitiful look of sadness before chuckling it off in amusement.

“Really pushing it on a boy so far!” He chuckled, shortly agreeing with Rodolfo’s comment on how tasty the cupcake was. All it was missing was a hot cup of coffee and he was set.

Kate’s wife wore a pastel pink sweater vest over a white shirt, biting into a pink cupcake to her absolute delight, almost tearing up herself over the welcomed match. Kate herself had gotten a blue cupcake, matching coincidentally well with her blue scarf resting around her neck.

“In our defense,” Kate’s wife states while clutching her beloved’s hand, “We’ll love who they are regardless!”

“They’ll be getting spoiled either way,” Kate added in, chuckling along with the flat-out truth.

Price wore a cerulean shirt, but gladly accepted your request to pin a pink little bow on the far right of his shirt collar.

By now, as the buttercream came to room temperature, a bit of pink tinted frosting clung to his mustache after his bite, but chuckling to the realization of this little mishap didn't bother him in the slightest.

“Well, look at that!” He chuckled as you quickly handed him a few extra napkins. “I’m on the same boat, they’re gettin’ absolutely spoiled by all their aunts and uncles.”

“Sure thing, Gramps.” Gaz pitched, purposely avoiding the captain’s gaze, hiding his smile in his own hand.

“That’s a name they’ll be calling you in about a year or two,” You pitched in, smiling at the smirk that inevitably spread across the captain’s face after the comment.

“Your turn, dear.” Price gestured to you, leaving you to nod along with excitement, despite already knowing the truth.

As basic as it was, you’ve never held so much disdain for this simple vanilla cupcake, this painfully bland dessert, especially when it came to the multiple test cupcakes you’ve made prior.

The toughest challenge was making the buttercream thick and pearly white, hiding the color underneath perfectly.

You’d be more than happy to make any other cupcake rather than this tragically boring mess, leading you to simply tear open the cake in your hands without tasting it, revealing to the crowd the flush of pink underneath vanilla sponge and frosting.

The tally was set.

An even number of four on four so far, all that was left was the final cupcake to break the tie, the final cupcake that sat in front of Simon.

Simon wore dark gray, insisting that it didn’t matter to him what gender the baby was, he’d love them regardless, just as everyone else. He didn’t want to think ahead and assume too fast, too nervous at the high expectations, keeping all those thoughts bottled up until he learned the truth.

He didn't realize just until now how much pressure was placed on his shoulders, being the last man at the table, a plethora of pink and blue cupcakes flooding his eyes, down to the simple, plain cupcake in front of him.

Sweet frosting coated his taste buds once he took a bite, the room dreadfully quiet after this action.

The suspense grew thicker and thicker, all eyes on him as his wife’s hand settled on his right shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze, soothing his heartbeat drumming in his ears.

Licking his lip, he glanced down at the cake in hand, unable to wait any longer.

Right there, in the center of the swirl of thick, smooth buttercream, topped with round pink and blue sprinkles was a soft, flush pastel pink pocket of icing.

Never in his life had he been so delighted to see such a color.

You watched Simon’s eyes light up, almost wider than saucers at the discovery. You stared at him with your hands over your mouth, a bright smile hidden underneath your fingers, your eyes flushed pink with hot tears.

“It’s a girl!” You quickly state towards the others before he could turn it around, watching multiple eyes light up, followed by large amounts of cheers and applause, those who sat rising from their seats instantly.

Simon had risen so fast from his seat, almost causing the furniture to tumble over as he secured you tightly in his arms, feeling your tears of joy dampen his shirt sleeve. His head buried deep into your neck, his light scruff prickling your skin as he purposefully hid his face from everyone who cheered in congratulations.

With your growing belly, Simon found holding you close to be a more endearing action as the days went by. Before the both of you knew it, your little girl would be squeezing between the two of you, urging to join in on such a hug, simply for the surge of attention from her parents.

Your fingers clung to his shirt, your ragged breathing muffled against his shoulder. Beneath the excitement, he heard you mutter to him how much you loved him dearly, repeating these words over and over. In response, he urged you to shift your head just enough so he could take you in a long, heartfelt kiss, before returning to you the same hushed words against your lips.

How you loved each other so. Simon never wanted to be away from you, the thought growing now more than ever.

He remained facing away from the crowd after you were let go, your attention immediately taken aside by Kate’s wife, who trapped you in a tight hug.

“Ya alright?” Soap approached Simon, seeing his refrained stance from the crowd, refusing everyone else to see him this way, teary eyed and emotional, all while keeping quiet.

Simon nodded, sparing yet another glance over towards his wife, smiling as wide as possible, bright tears beading the edges of your eyes, staining your beautifully flushed cheeks as Price took you in a hug, soothing your happy sobs with a comforting rub of your back.

This was better than you had ever hoped for, A wonderful make up for being unable to surprise him the first time.

A girl, a beautiful baby girl.

His future addition to the chamber of his heart, the apple blossom of his eye, his hopeful little dove soaring across an endless sky.

A daughter with the woman he loved most in this world.

For a moment, and just for a moment, he refused to let any dark thought in his mind ruin this happiness that flooded his bones and warmed his haunted spirit, lighting up the darkness like a small pink birthday candle.

He could hardly wait now.

#simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #pregnancy #it’s cute stuff yk

323 notes · View notes

maggiedanikka · 2 years

Text

Let Me Go || Part 2

Pairing: Hangman x f!reader, (eventual) Rooster x f!reader

Warnings: none, lots of innuendos

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: Reader is married and shares a child with Hangman, life and circumstances drives reader into Rooster’s arms, but Hangman isn’t giving up that easily

Author’s Note: I cant believe I’m posting the second part of this story in less than 12 hours I was honestly pleasantly surprised at how much you all enjoyed this premise. I mostly wrote the story down for me and my sister bcs i could not get it out of my mind. I honestly couldn’t stop thinking about the next part of the story so I knew I HAD to write it down. I know that Hangman was a little ooc in the last part, in my defense I wasn’t completely used to writing him yet, and I feel like that ooc’ness was large in part due to the tension between him and the reader. I hope he’s a bit more in character i this one. And to my rooster fans, bare with me, just a little bit more until he makes his appearance. Thank you to my little sister (@jhelly-bean) for editing some grammar. And please let me know if I should keep going, or if you want to be added to the tag list :)

Rooster Playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4tS2I0YnKUSrBOMSUCqLgh?si=6a1898d0be474904

Hangman Playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2z4lAcBPvbCx19NWni8DVS?si=f7da4ba91773424e

Italics is past

Jake stares at the spot in the driveway where your car was parked, a small migraine forming from the amount of travel he endured in the past two days. He knew you were still upset, but he’d never felt this much ice from you before.

In the past, when you were mad at him you would scream, yell, and on one or two occasions, throw a shoe at him. This time around was different. You were….cordial. Jake could handle anger or heat, that’s what drew you to one another in the first place. He’d never met anyone whose fire matched his.

The Hard Deck was packed despite being a Tuesday night. Its patrons consisted mostly of uniforms, with a small mix of civilians. You were working the bar that night, while simultaneously reading from a thick purple book, adorned with the large block letters “LSAT”. You were already annoyed at the pilots who sauntered into the bar, egos the size of an elephant, your patience only wearing thinner as the night progressed.

Jake “Hangman” Seresin walked in around 10 o’clock with an ego that could rival the other pilot’s in the establishment combined. “Hey baby, you wanna get me a beer?” You hear his voice behind you as you bury your nose into your book. You respond by not turning around or looking up. “First of all, I’m not your ‘baby’ and I’ll get to you when I get to you. You’re not the only person at this bar.”

“Okay I may not be the only person at this bar, but I guarantee you. I’m the sexiest.” Jake says with a smirk.

You were now officially irked.

You looked up from your book to see possibly one of the most attractive men you’ve ever laid your eyes on. His blonde hair seemed to reflect the moonlight despite being indoors. He had a jawline that you were sure was sharp enough to cut one of your beer taps, and a body probably carved by God himself. But what caught your attention the most…the mischievous glint in his eyes, a small fire building that begged you to challenge him.

But of course, you would never let him have the pleasure of knowing that you found him breathtaking. “Sexiest? There are other S words I would use to describe you.” You smirk.

“Oh? what would those be?” He inquired smugly. “Spectacular, Stunning, Sublime, Satisfying?”

“How about Self Absorbed, Simple Minded, and Stuck-up?” You challenged.

Jake stared at you with a grin on his face, eyes twinkling in interest, as he scanned your body up and down.

“Sharp tongue you got there, I wonder what else it can do?” He said with a wink.

You felt the fire grow, leaving a tingling sensation in the pit of your stomach. Not sure if it was anger or desire but you were determined to put the cocky pilot in his place.

“I’ll tell you what, play me in a round of pool. If you win, then maybe I’ll let you find out exactly what my tongue can do.” You paused, watching that mischievous glint in his eyes twinkle.” But if I win, then I ring the bell.” You proposed as you pointed to a sign on the bar:

“Disrespect a woman, the Navy, or have your phone on the bar and you buy a round”.

“I’ll agree to those terms, but try not to be too upset when you lose Sweets. By the way, I’m sure you will have no problem with this but I don't like teeth.'' He said arrogantly, only to be met by a roll of your eyes.

“Stripes or solids, Sweets?” He asked as he tosses you a pool cue.

“Cash or credit, Zuko?” You rebutted your own nickname for him.

“Ouch Sweets you wound me, I am so much foxier than John Travolta” the handsome stranger replied as he dramatically clutches his heart

“You may be, but you’re just as arrogant.” You say, with a bat of your eyelashes.

“How about this, I’ll stop calling you Zuko, if you stop calling me Sweets?”

“No can do, Sweets, looks like I’m going by Zuko now. Unless you wanna know my real name, so you know what to moan later after this is done.” He said with a wink.

You couldn’t help the heat that was now traveling lower down your body. You quickly turned your face away from him so he didn’t see the redness spreading on your cheeks.

“Call me whatever you want Zuko, but when this is over you will be buying me and everyone in this bar a drink.” You retorted as you bent over to take the break shot.

“If you just wanted me to buy you a drink Sweets, you should’ve just asked. I’m not the one to deny a pretty la-Hggh!” He hunched over in pain as you hit him in the stomach with the pool cue, sinking 2 different solid balls in the process.

“Oops!” You said with a smile.

“Your turn Zuko.”

You two continued an intense game with both of you neck and neck the entire game. There were moments where he stood a little too close to you. Moments where you could feel the heat coming off of him, making the temperature of your body rise even higher. The game ended with you finally sinking the 8 ball. You stood up straight, smiling satisfied at defeating your opponent.

“Looks like you owe me a drink, Zuko.” You smiled at him. His smirk dropped for a second upon his defeat, but it was back as quickly as it left.

“Good game Sweets.” He admitted as he offered a handshake. You grabbed his hand to reciprocate the handshake, accidentally noticing how his larger hand enveloped your smaller one. You couldn’t help but notice the warmth that radiated between both of your hands.

“The name’s Lt. Jake Seresin, call sign, Hangman.” He said, you let go of his hand after what felt like an eternity. You nodded in acknowledgement.

“And your name, Sweets?” Jake asked.

“Nuh uh. You haven’t earned that quite yet, Seresin.” You flashed him a smile, as you walked away.

Jake watched you in awe as you strutted back to the bar and rang the bell, causing everyone in The Hard Deck to cheer.

That’s when Hangman knew he found a match in you.

After 3 persistent weeks, he finally learned your name and 2 weeks after that you agreed to go on a date. You were never the type to go down easy and Jake lived for your constant battles. Even his proposal to you was during the heat of an argument.

“(Y/n) I don't understand why you refuse to hear me out on this!” Jake yelled exasperatedly.

“Because I’ve told you over and over again, I am not going to give up my dreams just so I can follow you around the world like a sad puppy dog!” You replied with equal fervor.

“I am not asking you to give up your career, I am just asking you to take a job that will give you more flexibility, we hardly see each other as it is!”

“Jake, I did not bust my ass at law school, and brown nose at this firm for a whole degrading year just so I can leave because you want me to!”

“Why are you incapable of any compromise (y/n)?! Do you even care about making this relationship work?” Jake screamed in a huff.

“You’re unbelievable, I’ve done nothing but support your dreams and your ambition for the past 4 years Seresin, I have been the one sitting in this goddamn house while you’re shipped off God knows where?! I can never know how long you’ll be gone or if you’ll even come back! I have not once complained or stood in your way. The one time that I ask for your support, I’m suddenly selfish? I’m the one who doesn’t want to make it work?” Your screams turned into anguished cries as you tried to wipe off the tears spilling down your face, struggling to hold yourself up. You slid down the wall tucking your legs into your chest.

Jake paced angrily as he processed what you said, “UGH FUCK!” He exclaimed as he threw his phone across the room. He walked into the closet and came back out, but you didn’t notice the small black box he brought back with him.

“I never want to stand in the way of your dreams (y/n). It’s just so fucking hard only seeing you for days at a time and not having you beside me/” His voice still boisterous, but less aggressive. “You are the most aggravating woman I’ve ever met, how we haven’t killed each other yet I don’t know, but you challenge me, you keep me grounded, and I cannot imagine another day where you are not my wife!”

His last words caught your attention and left a gasp in your throat as you looked up. Your eyes met as he kneeled in front of you with a ring.

“Please spend the rest of our lives humbling me (y/n). Marry me.” He stared at you as he awaited your response.

You nodded your head as the tears threatened to spill over once again. But this time, it was happy tears.

You accepted his embrace and sat in his arms.

“I will marry you, as long as you admit that I’m Spectacular, Stunning, Sublime, Satisfying.” You said with a smirk.

“Anything for you Sweets.”

He did admit that you were all those things that night and showed you just how satisfying he could be.

All he’s ever known in your relationship is fire, if you were screaming at him or locking him out of the house or even giving him a bitter remark, he would know how to handle it. It's not like you were being particularly unkind to him, that would make sense in his head. But this… pleasantness, almost indifference, coming from you left a very bad taste in his mouth.

“Daddy! You’re not paying attention!” His feisty 4 year old exclaims at him, sitting at her child sized piano. Astrid had his eyes and his blonde hair but everything else was all you. The sassy attitude, the way that she put her hands on her hips when she demanded your attention, her love for spicy food despite only being 4 years old, the way that you both furrowed your eyebrows and grit your teeth when hungry, and especially the way that you had him completely wrapped around your fingers.

“Aww I’m sorry Pixie, can you play the song again?” Jake asks his daughter with a smile.

“Fine daddy, but this is the last time okay?” She threatens with her small toddler sized finger.

“Yup exactly like her mother through and through.” He thought to himself.

Astrid plays the opening chords of a song Hangman (unfortunately) knew too well.

“You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain, too much love drives a man insane, you broke my will, oh what a thrill, goodness gracious great balls of fire!”

Hangman sat as he listened to his daughter sing the entire song, she missed a few notes and got some of the words wrong or jumbled up but he was very impressed with her skill especially at 4 years old.

Hangman clapped, whistled, and gave a standing ovation as Astrid finished her performance and did her dramatic bows.

“Wow, that was amazing, Pixie! I didn’t know you could play piano!”

“Thank you Daddy! Uncle Roo Roo taught me!” Astrid said with a big smile

“Uncle Roo Roo?” Jake asked with an amused grin

“Uncle Rooster!”

Jake felt his stomach drop.

“So Uncle Rooster has been hanging out with you and your mom?” He asked his daughter cautiously.

“Yeah sometimes, I usually see him whenever Mommy is sad, he makes her smile and makes me chocolate chip pancakes!” The 4 year old answered enthusiastically.

“That’s good Pixie. Come on it's getting late, let's get you in a bath so you’re not stinky when Mommy comes home.”

“Okay!” Astrid says as she starts up the stairs.

Jake loved the time he spent with his daughter, and he was thankful that (y/n) still let him be around after what he did. But he couldn’t help but feel a brick form in his stomach as he got Astrid ready for bed.

Jake patiently waited for (y/n) to return, sitting on the couch in the living room. He eventually fell asleep waiting. He finally hears a car pull up into the driveway and he checks the time to see it was a little past 11. (y/n) walks into the house, immediately finding Jake’s eyes.

“Hey Zuko.” She said with a small smile.

“(Y/n), how’s ‘Uncle’ Rooster?”

@alldaydreamers-blog1 @luckyladycreator2 @lunamoonbby @n3ssm0nique @and-claudia @marrianena @hummusxx @writeroutoftime @abrielleholland

Let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the tag list :)

#hangman x y/n #hangman x reader #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #hangman #jake hangman seresin #rooster #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #hangman angst #rooster angst #hangman x reader x rooster #top gun #top gun maverick #great balls of fire

845 notes · View notes

cyanomys · 30 days

Text

I'm not a "Person With An Illness"

Talked with my therapist today about emotionally growing to grieve and accept my illness. She's worried about me overidentifying with my illness. Suggested I think of myself as a "person with an illness" and not a "sick person."

I know she means well -- and she suffers from some chronic conditions herself so she's no stranger to this, and maybe thinking about it that way does help her -- but also this reeks of the "person with disabilities" discourse.

I'm generally guilty of black and white, all-or-nothing thinking, so I can see why she would be worried. But for once in my life I'm actually choosing a middle path. Being sick is not my whole identity but it is finally becoming a core part of my identity and not my enemy. I am "Cyan, the GM, Vegan, Wife, Friend, Dog Mom....and sick person."

For most of the last two years I saw my illness as something "outside" of me, which caused me to:

anguish helplessly over my "affliction"

believe I can "power through it" as if it is a simple road block I can bust through

feel hatred towards my failing body and my failure to be healthy

set goals that are physically impossible for me to reach

naively plan for a near future where my illness has magically disappeared

desperately seek validation and labels from medical professionals to tell me that the invisible enemy inside me is real -- of which they could never provide enough.

There is a difference between seeing yourself as helpless in your illness, or seeing yourself as an active participant. I am a sick person because I have to take care of a sick body. Because I have to work within limitations and deal with a particular sort of suffering that other people don't. I may have limited control over that but I do have control over figuring out how to live my best life with my illness.

And the first step to that is integrating my sick parts as part of me. My body is not my enemy, it's my vessel. The problems with my body are my problems. My body is me. I am my body. We have to work together the best we can.

Of course accepting that I am sick comes with grieving. Who would not be disappointed at all the lost dreams and hopes now inaccessible, in a life where you will likely have to deal with suffering and discomfort you never wanted. But within the sadness there is so much peace. I'm not fighting it anymore. For the first time I am whole. I am sick. And that's okay.

Now I can move forward. I can take responsibility for the things I can change. I can try exercises meant for disabled/elderly people without judging myself, because that is the condition my body is in right now. I can pace myself throughout the day so I don't give myself a fever and chills and migraine from overexertion. I can make myself a meal plan to get enough nutrients, especially protein, without too much effort. I can make adjustments to my plans -- like last weekend, I tried to go out to see a movie with friends but couldn't because of my health. We rescheduled for this weekend, but instead they're going to come over and play board games because I'm in a health flare up and my body is more capable of doing that right now. Because I accepted my illness, I still get to see my friends, even if I don't get to see Dune. My illness might not get better, but I can get smarter and stronger and kinder.

And, I can understand disability rights now through the lens of being disabled. I can use my knowledge to educate my friends about disabilities, be visibly invisibly disabled, be unashamed, be proud of not just surviving but LIVING with my disabilities. Maybe someday I will even get good enough at managing my body to do real work to help other disabled people (or maybe I wont, and that's okay too.) Taking away my identity as a disabled person takes away my pride, my righteous anger at the injustice of our society and my motivation to change it.

I am not a person who is sick. I am a sick person.

#chronic illness #chronically ill #disability rights #disability pride #disabilities

3 notes · View notes

hasufin · 2 years

Text

Hoops and hurdles

Americans really love our alternative medicines.

We will take supplements, do yoga, and tape crystals to our foreheads before going to the doctor.

There are so many factors in this.

A big one, of course, and uniquely American, is the money. Just a simple checkup, with insurance coverage, can cost you a fair bit of change. Seeing a specialist for a serious problem will easily set you back hundreds or thousands of dollars. Gods forbid you need surgery or expensive medication. Anyone sane would quail at that.

And the matter of propaganda and misinformation cannot be ignored - you have an entire wing of the media devoted to telling you that all those Smart People are liars and you really need to take this horse dewormer/vitamin supplement/herbal extract (I was surprised to find out that Alex Jones was making most of his money off of selling snake oil, but only because I hadn’t previously heard that in connection with him.)

Yet, I do think we need to consider how our medical establishment punishes people for seeking treatment.

Okay, let me go over an experience I had, which was Very Far fromt he worst I’ve heard of.

About, oh... fifteen years ago, I noticed something: I was waking up with a headache every single day. Always. I woke up to pain. Now, I say this and everyone jumps straight to “migraine” because that’s their only model for “headache that is serious enough to care about” but it wasn’t. It was just low level pain, which would either fade within an hour or linger for most of the day.

That wears at you, you know? It’s not utterly debilitating, but it makes everything unenjoyable, because pain. And you can’t talk about it, not really, because the responses are “Well, my migraines are sooooo much worse”, “take a tylenol and stop whining!” or “Oh have you tried yoga? It made me so much more mindful and not only set my broken arm it charged the battery on my car and made my dog come back”.

Anyway. After a couple of years like this, I finally went to a doctor. I went to my regular doctor, who actually listened to me. Which is, itself, shocking - I have had so any bad doctors who will just literally and pointedly ignore the things I say, brush things off as trivial, inform me it’s “all in your head”, or conclude it’s “allergies”.

But my doctor tried a couple things - I recall Prednisone, because it’s sort of their shotgun approach: no idea what’s causing it? FIVE DAYS OF PREDNISONE! (Prednisone never, in my experience, helps). Having exhausted his repertoire, and my deductible, he sent me to an ENT.

The ENT examined me, could find no apparent cause, and had me take... a round of Prednisone. When that didn’t work, they had me take a litany of antihistamines. When those didn’t work, they referred me to a neurologist.

The neurologist examined me, and was about to have me take a round of Prednisone, until I objected that this would be the third time I had been on Prednisone for this issue, and I was not exactly sanguine that it would be any more effective than the last two times. Which they conceded - upon inspecting my chart(!) (Why didn’t they notice that before? Was “Tried <medication> to no effect” not relevant???) and gave me... another litany of medications. After the better part of a year, we did find a medication which worked - it has since, for completely ridiculous reasons - been listed as a controlled substance. I was on that medication for several years, until for no reason anyone could discern, the headaches went away.

I feel that I had competent to even a bit above-average doctors. However, let’s round this up: it was almost a full year between seeking treatment and finding an effective treatment. I was prescribed the same, ineffective, thing multiple times. This process wiped out both my deductible (and would have seriously hurt my finances if I didn’t have insurance) and killed my PTO - literally I had no vacation that year, save for seeing doctors, which is ANOTHER American issue. The diagnostic steps were limited and inconclusive, and at no point did we determine the root cause of the issue; we only eventually found something that stopped the symptoms such that, exhausted with the process, I accepted it until the problem went away.

Oh, yeah - exhaustion. At every step I - the person suffering from constant headaches which drained my energy - had to be the motivating force. I was the one who had to run with the referrals, push for follow-ups, counter that steps had already been tried, and be the very active advocate for my own health. Which to some extent is necessary - but there was never anyone else in my corner. If at any point I had decided “This is too much, I can’t deal with going to doctors and gaining nothing. I can’t deal with fighting my insurance to cover things they’re supposed to cover” well, the doctors would have said Nothing At All and the insurance would have sent my bills to collections.

In this context, it’s entirely understandable that many people do not want to involve themselves with the traditional medical establishment. It’s impersonal - and not in the “the nurses don’t smile enough” way health administrators think, but in the “no one even reads the damned charts or listens to the patient” way. . It takes forever, there’s no real commitment to understanding the issues, the communication to the patients is inscrutable, vague, and absolutely paranoid about empowering the patient in ways that matter, while leaving those same patients twisting in the wind and without useful guidance or support.

Promises of a cure that actually works, sympathy and engagement from a wise-seeming practitioner, and clear answers (no matter that they’re false) can be incredibly enticing. And yes, some of these are issues in which science has a natural disadvantage - science, of course, values truth more than certainty. But patients really need to be heard, to not be repeating the same things over and over without any engagement, and not be made to jump through pointless hoops without explanation. And CERTAINLY need to not be forced to jump through the same hoops over and over again.

8 notes · View notes

iwadori · 3 years

Note

Hiiii!!!! can you do like when you guys are supposed to meet up and they waited for about an hour or so and kept texting you you but you haven't replied so they thought you ditched them and got mad at you and stuff then they decided to go home and while on their way home not too far from their school they found you unconscious body with a large wound on you back and your head bleeding?.

can you pleaseease do tsukishima, yamaguchi, ushijima, bokuto (I'm sorry if that's a lot)

Haikyu Boys when you get hurt Pt 2 (Ushijima,Bokuto

Part One Part Two Part Three

Word count: 2.6K

Genre: angst, fluff

masterlist

Ushijima

You were having the worst week this week, from battling a cold and your boss making you do all sorts of extra jobs (that were definitely not under your job description.) As easter was swiftly approaching you and Ushijima had your annual plans of going to the local kids community center and helping them with an easter egg hunt. But you don’t think you can manage it this year.

Ushijima gets home from practice with 4 bags just filled with easter eggs ranging from all different sizes, “woah there Toshi, you’ve got enough there too feed all of england” you laugh

“I don’t think these eggs will be able to sustain England Y/N” he says seriously making you laugh even harder. As you were laughing, you felt another migraine come along making your cringe in pain. “Toshi, I don’t think I can do the easter egg hunt this year?”

He sits down next to you alarmed that something is wrong, “why what happened Y/N” he asks

“I’ve been feeling terrible all week, and I even have a migraine right now” you say to him thinking he would understand.

“That’s it?” he questions thinking what you said was a joke “I think you can handle a migraine, remember we’re doing this for the kids”

His words were making you feel slightly guilty since maybe you were being over dramatic. “Y/N if it’s really ‘that bad’, i’ll make you some tea so you can feel better,” he says going into the kitchen to start on your tea. You murmur a quiet “thank you” and you end up falling asleep, hoping that by the time you wake up your head stops pounding.

As you wake up, you realise you slept all the way through the night and over to the next day as when you look at your clock it says 12:32 pm. You look at your nightstand and saw that Ushijima wrote you a note saying:

Y/N I've left out early to set out the easter egg hunt, I’ve made you breakfast so eat up and get prepared for the event which starts at 4pm. Please don’t forget.

Sincerely – Ushijima Wakatoshi.

You chuckle at the fondness of the note, before realising your pain. Your brain felt like it was having a live concert inside that definitely was not going to end soon but you still got up prepared for the day. You didn’t want to let Ushijima or the kids down.

When you go to the kitchen , you see the cute breakfast that Ushijima made you consisting of all of your favourite foods and with another simple note of him saying ‘ I love you. ‘ Ushijima has always been a lovely boyfriend, treating you like the queen you are always making sure that you were okay. Of course, his bluntness and his lack of social cues was something to get used to but when you did get accustomed to it, it only made you fall in love with him more.

You got ready, feeling even more sick as the piping hot shower that you usual have, did not help as when you were showering you felt heavily faint. However, you persevered since you did not want to let Ushijima down.

You finally were prepared to leave the house, with the community center being on 15 minutes walk away you were leaving out at 3:50pm since you were planning to take your car anyways. When you leave your home, you realise that you forgot your car keys so you dash up the stairs (a bit too quickly) to go and find them. Scrambling through your draws, your head is pounding harder and harder and the more it pounds the quicker your moving making you even more faint. You eventually find your keys and you’re ready to zoom to the community center but your body gave out and you pass out tumbling down the stairs landing at your front door.

Ushijima was waiting outside of the community center waiting for you to arrive it was 4:05pm and he was wondering where you were (knowing that your place was only a 10 minute drive away) he sent you a few texts asking where you were but when you don’t respond Ushijima becomes slightly annoyed, plastering a fake smile on his face and entering the community center, starting the easter egg hunt.

The easter egg hunt came to a close at 8pm and Ushijima assumed that you would’ve showed up some time in the middle of the event, but you obviously didn’t show. After making sure that all the kids left safely Ushijima decided to call and text you more and when you continuously don’t respond and your calls go to voicemail he says ‘Y/N, im really disappointed with you right now. How could you do this to me? You said you would show up, the kids were really upset, how could you be so selfish?’

He walks to your house knocking on the door, but when you don’t immediately answer he knew something must be up now, since you haven’t responded to any of his texts and calls and didn’t show up he figured there was something deeper then you just ditching the event.

He used his key to open the door, surprised when the door hit something. He tried again hitting the ‘object’ that was laying at the door again. He carefully pushes the door to make enough room for him to fit through the gap. When he entered, he was startled at the sight of you, there you lay completely knocked out with a blood stain next to your head. He knelt down next to you and touched your cheek you were extremely cold, he had to get you to a hospital stat. He called an ambulance, panicked. Worrying about how long you’ve been out for since it would have to be atleast more than 4 hours he assumed.

You woke up in a foreign room, with your head slightly stinging. You place your hand on the back of your head and wince, then you remember you need to be at the easter egg hunt so you bolt up ready to move.

“I don’t think that’s wise for you to do that Y/N” Ushijima says to you

“Toshi, what happened?” you ask still in pain

“It seems you fell down the stairs and hit your head” after he said that all your memories come flooding back, and you remember rushing to the community centre, looking for your keys, and then falling down the stairs and everything going black.

“I’m sorry Ushi for missing the easter egg hunt, I really tried to get there,” you say with an apologetic look on your face

“It’s fine Y/N of course you wouldn’t of been able to get there after falling down the stairs” he says “Also, this is proof of why you shouldn’t run down the stairs”

You eventually get discharged with the doctor telling you all you need to do is rest and stay off your feet. Ushijima took the doctor's orders very seriously, becoming your loyal servant and waiting on you hand and foot, tending to your every need. He did also make you were eating healthy and taking all your medicine so you could have the best recovery possible.

Also, after realising that this could’ve all been avoided if Ushijima didn’t guilt trip you in the first place for having a migraine, he made sure to never ignore or dismiss when you say you are ill or have anything wrong with you even if it’s a migraine, a lost limb or a simple paper cut.

Bokuto

The Olympics were coming up and Bokuto couldn’t be any more excited than he already was. Everything he’s talked about for the past month he manages to find a way to relate to the Olympics, and as annoying as it got sometimes you were just as excited for it as much as Bokuto was.

Bokuto was heavily busy with extra practices so you were bored and lonely, since your boyfriend was at practice all the time so you chose to take up a new hobby. You decided to paint, although you weren’t an award-winning painter you still found joy in it. Being Bokuto’s girlfriend you had some slight unwanted attention on you: the usual fans of Bokuto that just followed you to have an extra aspect of him in their life's, or his fangirls that adored him.

You didn’t mind the fangirls for the most part since majority of them were pretty tamed and did fawn over your relationship. However, there was the minority of fans that did make it known to you that they DID NOT like you at all. When you started posting your paintings, it seems their hate for you amplified since they always found the need to leave an astray of mean comments on your post. But that didn’t mainly bother you since you thought that they only had that energy behind the screen.

The days went by getting closer to the Olympics, with Bokuto always asking you every day “Y/N you are coming to my games, right?” to which you always replied “Of course Kou, I’m coming” which always made him smile.

When the Olympics came, you’ve went to all the games cheering Bokuto and the team on as they were winning round after round. Whilst this was going on, the group of girls that were sending you horrible messages and making mean posts about you weren’t stopping. At first, you didn’t care for them but it seems their posts only gotten worse making comments about your artwork, your face, your body type ect.

You didn’t want to tell Bokuto as you felt that it would ruin his Olympic momentum and you thought you could handle it all on your own.

It was nearing to the final game of the Olympics, and Bokuto was ecstatic he made sure that you promised you’d be there claiming that you was his ‘good luck’ charm.’ You were excited to go too, the feeling of watching Bokuto play was exhilarating seeing him fully in his element was great for you to see.

On the last game day, Boktuo was already at the stadium since him and the team had to be there earlier to practice and you planned to meet him there just before the game started at 4:30. You went to a florist before the match getting Bokuto the biggest boquet that you could buy.

On your way to the stadium you here somebody whistle from behind you, you turn around and see a group of girls waiting behind you smirking. “Hi?” you say more like a question then a statement “do you want something from me?”

Some of them laugh, but the one standing at the front who you mentally lable the ‘main one’ steps closer to you and says “We want you to stay away from Bokuto” you realise that these were the girls sending you hate online for these past weeks.

Before you can even blink, the girls jump you, hitting, kicking and clawing at you. You are in pain, screaming and crying for them to stop and leave you alone. You lay there, letting them beat you up thinking that you’ll probably end up dead out of this. All you can think about is Bokuto, you didn’t get to wish him good luck, or give him your flowers (that you spent a fortune on) or even tell him that you loved him one last time.

You think the girls eventually stopped but you couldn’t tell because your body was throbbing and you hurt all over. You tried to get up still wanting to go to the match but you collapse going out cold.

Bokuto was scanning the crowd over and over for you, hoping to spot you there. But he couldn’t, he was wondering where you were getting sadder and sadder by the second since he really believed you were his good luck charm and he probably wouldn’t be able to win without at least seeing your face once.

They didn’t win. Bokuto knew he wasn’t playing at his best, since all his mind was on was thinking about where you were. You’ve never missed one of his games, so he was incredibly worried. After he accepted his second-place medal, he rushed out the stadium to go to your house but he was stopped by some fangirls ‘I guess signing autographs is the least I can do’ he thinks, the fans were being a bit odd today but he didn’t have time to focus on that as his mind was racing thinking about you and your whereabouts.

One of his fans did give him an alarmingly big boquet of roses which he appreciated ‘these must of cost a fortune’ he thinks. Although it was a probably a long shot, he decided to ask the fan if he saw someone who looked like *whatever you look like* to maybe see if someone else saw you. Which the fan replied “yeah I saw them with some guy at this restaurant whilst we were going to see you!” they exclaimed.

‘A guy’ he thought ‘that most likely wasn’t you.’ Seeing Bokuto’s confusion, the fan followed up with “I'm pretty sure it was her I mean we all know who Bokuto Koutaro’s girlfriend was.” Bokuto didn’t reply just walking away making sure to thank them for the flowers.

He was rushing towards your house on foot (since all the taxi’s and ubers were fully booked because of the Olympics) whilst running he stumbles across your passed out body all black and bruised with scratch marks and bleeding all over you. “what happened” he whispered, knowing you obviously weren’t going to respond.

He picked up your near-dead body, and cradled you in his arms taking you back to the stadium (since he knew that getting an ambulance to come here or running to the hospital would basically be impossible.) When he got back to the stadium, he did get odd looks from strangers but he didn’t care, his only agenda was making sure you were okay.

You woke up, and saw Bokuto pacing the room repeatedly you tried to get his attention by saying his name but your throat was damaged. He eventually notices you and runs to your side, stroking your face softly and giving you a gentle hug making sure not to hurt you.

“Who did this Y/N?” he asks with worry in his eyes

You ignore his question and look at the silver medal wrapped around his neck making you sad “I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the match, I tried I really did try” you said with your voice sounding even worse after you said every word.

“Don’t be silly, I’m just glad that you’re okay babe, I was really worried about you.” he said

The Medic came in and said that you had multiple broken ribs, but beside that you were fine you just needed to rest your throat and let your bruises heal. You eventually told Bokuto that it was some of his fans, he was upset that you hid this from him for so long but he was just glad that he got to you as soon as he did. He managed to play at the next Olympics and you were there fully present, with your even bigger boquet of flowers watching win gold.

Authors Note: I tried to make it as close to your request as possible, but I hope you enjoy as I really do think this is my favourite work so far.... :3 Comments and feedback appreciated.

#haikyuu x reader comfort #haikyu scenarios #haikyu #haikyu angst #haikyu fluff #haikyu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu-fluff #haikyu x reader #ushijima imagine #ushijima oneshot #ushijima angst #ushijima x reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto angst #koutarou x reader #bokuto scenarios #signedwithane😌

1K notes · View notes

rendevousz · 3 years

Text

sick

avengers x gn!teen!reader

platonic!peter parker x reader

requested by @sunflowerbecca : "hey! a request with the whole teen avengers thing you got gotten on haha, anyways something where the reader gets hurt or faints etc etc and then the rest of the avengers are all worried and frantic as they care for them"

summary: there was a consequence of going on a mission while you were sick

warnings: mentions of throwing up and a tiny fight with bestfriend!peter, avengers babying you as usual

word count: roughly 5k words of utter bullshit me thinks but pls do give this a read LMAO

notes: i'm sorry this took longer to write i was unexpectedly busy on the weekends but here i am i hope you enjoy this <3

"stark, you sure about this?"

"of course i'm sure, capsicle. the kids have been bugging us to let them go on a mission together. i know it's because they just want to mess around without being scolded but this is the easiest mission we've ever gotten since the avengers. besides, they've been pretty good lately so i think they deserve it. don't you guys think so?"

his question was met with approving looks all over the room, except from steve. the whole team except the teens —you and peter— were having a meeting about a simple mission that was supposed to happen that night. you and peter weren't in the meeting because you two were still at school.

it had been months since you and peter started asking the team to let you guys go on missions alone without "adult supervision". it was true that you guys wanted that just so you could do missions without feeling like you were being babysat but it was also because you guys thought that you weren't kids anymore; you could handle simple missions.

"c'mon cap, don't you want to see their face light up when we tell them they can go on this mission together, without us?" clint urged. he knew steve loved the kids, especially you, and he especially loved seeing the way your eyes would light up first before you whole face did.

"okay, fine. but if anything happens to them, you guys are to blame for."

–

school had just finished and you were walking back to the tower with peter. you've been having a killer headache all day and you felt nauseous. you even went to the washroom to throw up twice today. of course you didn't tell peter because he was that type of overprotective best friend who would make you get home if you sneezed more than three times that day. all you wanted to do today was get home quick so you could sleep the sickness away.

yes, you knew you were sick. but you didn't want to tell anyone because like peter, the whole team was overprotective over you and they usually did too much when you were sick. so you avoided that by just acting like you were okay. that was going well so far since all you had to do when you get home was go to your room and tell them you stayed up late last night and needed to catch up on sleep.

of course that didn't go well.

"y/n!" you groaned when peter entered your room uninvited, immediately jumping onto your bed. "yes, pete?" you croaked. his joyful expression turned into a frown when he heard you. "what's wrong? are you okay?"

"yes, pete, i'm okay. just super sleep deprived." you lied, cringing when you felt your head throb once again. "oh.. did you..did you want to sleep? am i interrupting?" he asked, feeling bad. "no, no. it's fine, what did you want?"

"i just came to tell you that mr stark and the team are finally gonna let us go on a mission without them! there's one tonight and they're letting us go alone!" he announced excitedly. you couldn't help the small smile that appeared on your lips when he said that. his happiness was just so contagious.

"but if you wanna sleep then i'll just go with any one of them, i guess," he shrugged his shoulders with a nonchalant face but you knew he was internally begging you to come with. after all, you guys have been asking for this for the longest time.

you look at his hopeful face —one that he thought he was concealing very well— and sighed, flashing him a small smile. "fine, it's friday anyways so there's no school tomorrow. but you're buying me food tomorrow for postponing my catchup on beauty sleep," that is, if you can stomach the food, considering how you've thrown up almost anything you had for the past two days.

the thought of this mission going awry because of you being sick was almost immediately forgotten when you saw the huge smile on peter's face. he pulled you into a tight hug before letting go to jump on your bed. "we're finally gonna go on a mission alone!"

you laugh at his excitement though you wished he could lower down his volume because it was making your head hurt.

later that evening, you were in your room, sitting on the bed after having just finished putting on your suit when a knock was heard. after telling the person to come in, you met eyes with a certain blond haired super-soldier.

"hey, y/n." he greets, sitting down beside you. "hey, steve," you responded with a weak voice. he turned to you with a frown and you knew what was coming. "i'm fine, steve. i already had this conversation with pete. i just need sleep but i can get that after this mission. i'm not gonna be fine though if you wake me up at the crack of dawn to train when you know i just had a late night mission." you sassed, causing him to chuckle.

"okay, fine. i'm just worried about you two. you sure you're gonna be fine? don't need me to come along?" he asked, concern written all over his face.

"yes, steve. pete's been wanting a mission without you old folks for the longest time and i'm not gonna disappoint him by making you come along. we'll be fine, stevie. we're not little kids, we're avengers. we can handle finding a random chip in an abandoned building," you reasoned with him.

"it's not a rando— you know what? just be back home safe, okay kiddo?" he ruffled your hair, earning him a playful glare from you.

the swing trip to the mission location had you even more nauseous than you were earlier today and earlier today was worse than yesterday when the symptoms of your fever all started. you almost let go of peter because your body felt weak and now you were getting an earful from the boy.

"y/n, what were you thinking?! you could've gotten hurt!" he scolded you. you only looked down in guilt, biting the inside of your cheeks. "can we not do this now? let's talk about this back at the tower tomorrow," you waved him off, already beginning to feel the pounding headache getting worse. you started to walk ahead but then he gripped your upper arm, effectively halting you in your steps.

"y/n, if i hadn't grabbed onto you tighter the last minute, you could've plummeted 100 feet down to your death! did you know how scared i was?" his voice cracked and you immediately felt bad.

"you know you need to hold on too when i'm swinging us both! why'd you do that?" he yelled at you and you had to press onto your temple because of the headache that was steadily getting worse.

"look, pete, i'm really sorry about that, okay? that was unintentional but if you're gonna berate me over that, can you do that back at the tower?" you sighed, trying to shrug his grip off your arm but he kept it.

"you don't know the true weight of your actions, do you? you could've died, y/n! how do you think i would feel? being the reason my best friend died? having to go on with life without you? i can't lose you, y/n!" at this point, you could tell he was crying under his mask.

you felt bad. you knew you shouldn't have agreed to go on this mission knowing that you had been sick for the past two days. but you couldn't have let the opportunity pass. you couldn't bear to see peter disappointed after waiting for this moment for the longest time ever. but standing here, looking down as peter yelled at you while crying, you were starting to think that it was better to just see his disappointment. anything was better than seeing your best friend cry.

"pete, i truly am sorry. i love you and i would never leave you. but can we please get this mission over and done with so we can get back to the tower as soon as possible? we'll talk about this later," you told him and you immediately felt him let go of your arm.

"okay, fine! since you wanna get the mission done so bad, let's do it! i'll take the east side of the building and you'll take west. we'll split up so can find the goddamn chip quicker. that's what you want right?" and before you could say anything, the boy was already out of your sight.

you tried to keep your tears at bay but when that was the first huge argument you had with your best friend, it was kind of an impossible task.

so with your weak muscles and a breakdown that caused your headache to get even worse, you slowly trudged the west side of the building, looking for that stupid chip that the team wanted you to find.

you were beginning to think that the only reason the team sent you both here was because to find a tiny little chip in a huge abandoned building was like finding a needle in a haystack; definitely not something adults like them could bear to do.

but it obviously wouldn't have mattered to you and peter since you guys could do it peacefully without being pestered every two minutes about your whereabouts during missions. it obviously wouldn't have mattered to you and peter because if that argument hadn't broken out, you two would be enjoying each others company as you looked for the chip together. you could've been singing and joking around like you two wanted to. but of course that couldn't happen because of you.

you stopped in your tracks when a particularly harsh wave of migraine hit you, causing you to lean against the wall. your vision blurred as you tried hard to clear it but it wouldn't. your throat was dry and it made you think; when was the last time you drank water? you barely had energy in you from skipping meals due to your inability to stomach them.

now you were actually regretting coming on this mission. the last thing you saw was the dirty walls decorated with spray painted graffiti.

"oh my god, is this it? KAREN, is this it?" peter asked his built in AI. "yes, peter, this chip matches the picture that mr stark sent you."

"yes!" he cheered, grabbing the chip and storing it safely. "this mission probably would've been a lot more fun if y/n and i weren't fighting. we would've had so much fun. these walls had countless of stuff we could've laughed and joked about." the boy sighed before pressing a finger to his comms.

"hey i uh, i found the chip. where are you? we can go now." he said, waiting for you to respond. but you didn't. "c'mon, y/n, it's been two hours. you can't still be giving me the silent treatment, are you?"

silence.

"look, i'm sorry for lashing out on you but like you said, let's settle this at the tower. tell me where you are. i'll come get you and we can swing back as soon as possible."

silence.

"goddamnit, y/n! answer me!" he huffed out in annoyance. and when he was met with silence once again, he decided to have KAREN do a scan.

"y/n is at the exact same spot you landed on two hours ago." KAREN showed him the scan of the building and highlighted where you guys landed on two hours ago. he felt his heart race when you seemed to be lying on the ground, motionless.

"what's wrong with them, KAREN? why is y/n lying on the floor?" he asked in concern as he sped up to where you were. "y/n seems to have lost consciousness. according to FRIDAY, they have been showing symptoms of a high fever since yesterday."

peter cursed as he ran towards you when he saw you from afar. how could he have not noticed that you were sick? and it wasn't a simple cold but a high fever. now he was the one who felt bad. he should've suspected it from how different you had been acting since yesterday. that must've also been the reason you couldn't hold on to him properly.

he immediately crouched down to you when he reached you, examining your body for any external injuries. he cringed when he saw dried blood on the side of your forehead. you must've scraped it upon impact on the rough concrete.

"how long have they been out?" he asked KAREN as he picked you up. he proceeded to web you onto his body as extra precaution in case he accidentally let go while he swung. "approximately 2 hours, peter. right after you stormed away angrily."

"okay, KAREN, there's no need to make me feel bad. can you call mr stark?" peter asks the AI as he frantically swings you both back to the tower.

"kid? what's up? did you find the chip?" peter could hear the background rock music being lowered down and from the metal on metal clanking, he could tell tony was in his lab.

"i did but can you, uh, please get medic ready?" he was breathless as he kept swinging from building to building all while holding onto your unconscious body. immediately the metal tinkering sounds as well as the music completely stopped.

"what happened, kid? are you alright?"

"i'm okay, mr stark. it's y/n. they fainted." he told the man. "fainted?" the man exclaimed. "what happened? how long were they out?" he urged the boy and peter could hear that he was walking quickly and he assumed it was to get the medic team ready and to inform them of the situation.

"2 hours," he admitted quietly as he landed on the tower's hangar. "i'm here. i'm bringing them down now." he ran down towards the hospital wing with you in his arms.

once he reached down, he was met with the team waiting, worry etched onto their faces. wanda was the first to notice him and peter saw that her eyes were teary. before he could say anything though, the medic team appeared and proceeded to cut off his webs wrapping you to him. they immediately put you onto the stretcher and they wheeled you into the room, peter's gaze lingering on your unconscious self once he took off his mask.

"what happened out there, kid?" sam asked softly when peter slid down against the wall, staring expressionlessly at the wall across of him. "peter."

"we had a fight, okay!" he let out, taking the team by surprise because he was always such a calm and patient boy. they had never seen him this angry or upset since they first met him.

"we were swinging and their grip on me loosened so i got mad at them. but they kept pushing the matter aside like it wasn't a big deal, like it wasn't a life or death situation so i lashed out and decided that we should split up to look for the stupid chip since they wanted to get back to the tower so bad." he explained, eyes red as he had been crying a lot that night.

"i tried apologising like ten minutes after but y/n didn't respond so i assumed they were giving me the silent treatment but i found them unconscious two hours later. i'm so sorry," he apologised, breaking down as he put his face in between his knees to avoid looking at the team. they were probably mad at him for letting this happen to you.

"kid, why are you apologising? it's not your fault,"

he slowly lifted his head up, to meet the kind smiles of the team. "because the only reason y/n probably went on this mission was because they knew how much i wanted this. they put their own well-being aside just to make me happy and all i did was lash out at them."

"how were you supposed to know y/n had a high fever? we all didn't know either. it's not like we spend every waking hour with th—" clint was immediately cut off when nat nudged him with her elbow. peter had an unamused expression on his face. everyone knew you and peter were practically attached at the hip, always having training, and not to mention, school together. you two even spent your free time together.

"what clint means," nat glared at the archer. "is that it doesn't matter how much time or how little time we spend with y/n. that kid is stubborn as a bull. they could literally have been shot and we wouldn't know until we actually see the wound. my point is, y/n's the type that doesn't want to worry us. and you're their best friend, they knew how much you wanted this mission so that's probably why they didn't tell you. you can't blame yourself for this, peter."

"i know but they did this for me and i got mad at them. they're a much better friend to me than i am to them." peter dropped his head back down between his knees.

before any of them could respond, doctor cho approached them. "as you all know, they have a high fever. i suggest you all come visit tomorrow because they most probably won't wake until then."

"okay, will do. thank you, doc." the doctor smiled before excusing herself. peter then got up to go back to his room to wash up after handing tony the chip.

tony could only sigh when he looked at the boy's back that was growing smaller as he walked farther away.

the next day, you woke up with a terrible headache but you had gotten used to it from the past two mornings.

"good, you're awake. how do you feel?"

you squinted to get used to the bright lighting and your gaze settled on the female doctor by your bed with a clipboard. "like shit." you croaked out. she chuckled. "that's expected. your fever has calmed down now, do you feel anything else?"

"this headache makes me want to rip my head out and i feel weak." she nodded, jotting down on her clipboard. "okay. that's all i needed to know. you should come to us if you're ever unwell, y/n." you gave her a guilty smile before nodding.

"there's a glass of water on the table if you want. the team wants to see you so i'll send them in?" you nodded and she left to bring them in. you looked at the bedside table, seeing the glass of water she mentioned and only now you realised how dry your throat had been. how you managed to verbally respond to doctor cho, you didn't know.

you slowly reached out for it, struggling because your whole body felt weak. "y/n! stay in bed, i'll get it for you." you heard a stern voice scold and you immediately fell limp on the bed.

before you knew it, steve was already by your side with the glass of water. he held your face in one hand while the other held the glass near your mouth. you smiled gratefully and took your time drinking the water, having been dehydrated before you passed out.

"you're still burning up," he noted, settling down on the chair beside you. the rest sat down too and you couldn't be bothered to ask how the heck were there so many chairs in the room. "how are you feeling, y/n/n?" bruce asked, sitting down across steve.

"like shit." you repeated your answer to doctor cho. before steve could open his mouth to tell you to watch your language, you turned to him with a bored look and a raised eyebrow, causing him to close his mouth immediately. boy, were you scary when you weren't about to take anyone's shit.

"why didn't you tell us you were sick, bubs?" wanda pouted, fixing your hair that you were sure looked like a bird's nest at the moment.

"i didn't want to worry you guys. you're adults who have much more important things to worry about. a kid throwing up and experiencing headaches shouldn't be your priority." you admitted, subconsciously playing with nat's fingers. she had gotten used to you doing that when you were nervous or overwhelmed so she let you.

"what are you talking about, y/n?" she held onto your hand, stoping your movements. "anything related to your safety and well-being is a priority to us. you had us worried sick last night, bub." she looked down at you with soft eyes, releasing her grip on your hands so you could continue playing with her fingers.

"yes, you worried us lots, y/n. wanda would not stop crying last night when she heard what happened." vision said, prompting a smack from said woman and a hushed 'vis!'.

"i'm sorry, guys. i initially was just going to stay in my room until i got better but when peter told me about the mission, i couldn't bear to say no to him. he was so happy about it and i didn't want to disappoint him. and i thought i could take it because it literally was the simplest mission ever. but the breakdown i had after our argument was physically draining and i guess i couldn't take it. i'm sorry. god, i only didn't want to disappoint peter but now i've disappointed you guys too." you bit the inside of your cheek to control your emotions, not wanting to seem even weaker in front of these adult superheroes.

"you didn't disappoint us, y/n/n," bucky started. "you've done so well, you've made us proud and you keep making us proud. we just wish you would tell us when you're sick or you just need someone. you don't have to keep everything to yourself. what are we here for? we love you and we're willing to do anything for you. you're our baby." he ruffled your hair and you give him a tired smile. "i'll keep that in mind."

"do you want anything to eat?" sam asked and you paused, trying to figure out whether you would be able to stomach some food or not. "you know what? i'm gonna go and make you some porridge right now. don't move." he told you, as if you could move with these overprotective heroes surrounding your bed.

almost immediately after, wanda got up too. "i'm going to make sure he doesn't burn the kitchen down." she said, leaving the room after a small peck to the side of your head. vision then left too after wishing you a speedy recovery. only bucky, steve, natasha and bruce were left.

"y/n, you know you can come to us if you're sick, right? i know you and you probably think you're troubling doctor cho if you go to her despite it being her job. but we're family, you can come to us anytime. you always help me when with 'the other guy' and you help everyone with basically anything they could possibly need so why wouldn't we do the same for you? you out of everyone in this tower deserves the most." your eyes watered at his speech. you pouted and looked at him with your doe eyes, making the rest of the team internally coo at how adorable you looked.

"bruce," you lower lip jutted out even more as you opened your arms for a hug which he happily accepted. "hey where's clint, tony and pete?" you asked them once you let go of bruce.

"clint went out to get your favourite smoothie from that place you always talk about even though i told him already that you probably don't want it since you're sick." natasha explained. "aw, i think i'm gonna drink it solely because clint made an effort to get it for me."

"you're too nice, bub. but expect it in an hour or so because i know for sure that idiot somehow got himself lost trying to find that shop." you chuckled at this, leaning back against your propped up pillow. "what about tony and pete?"

"peter feels really bad about this whole situation so tony is trying to cheer him up. wait," steve stopped mid-explanation, turning to the rest. "stark told us to get him when y/n's up..." he trailed off and bucky's eyes widened. "he's gonna kill us for him not being the first person y/n sees when they wake up."

"FRIDAY, inform stark that y/n is awake."

"oh yeah he has an AI why couldn't he just tell the AI to inform him instead of us forgetful humans?" bucky questioned rhetorically and before they knew it, they heard frantic screaming and thudding of footsteps before the door was open.

"my baby! you're awake!" was the first thing you heard when the door slammed open. tony rushed in, pushing bruce away as he immediately pulled you into a hug. "you're still burning up, cupcake. have you had anything to eat yet? drank any water yet? here have some water," he grabbed the glass of water steve helped you drink earlier and did exactly what steve did. you had no choice but to drink.

"sam's making them porridge," nat told tony and he turned to her with an incredulous look. "wanda's helping." she added and he sighed out in relief before turning back to you.

"cupcake, you had us all worried last night. please don't ever do that again, okay?" he said, gently caressing your cheek. you gave him an awkward smile. "where's peter?"

"he's taking a swing. he says it helps clear his mind," tony said. "how are you doing here? nice room? comfy bed?" he pointed to the bed you were on.

"i'd much rather be in my own room, on my own bed." and without a warning, steve already had you in his arms while tony went to go tell doctor cho that you were being moved. the blond super-soldier started walking while natasha walked closely behind, dragging your IV drip along so it doesn't get ripped out of your arm.

when you reached your room, you were gently put down on your bed and steve fixed your blanket so it was covering you. "comfy?" he asked and you nodded with a big smile.

"i have to finish some stuff up down the lab," bruce said and you nodded at him with a pout. "i'll come back sometime later, though. you better be resting up all day." he warned jokingly. he ruffled your hair, planting a kiss on your forehead before leaving your room.

"can you tell pete that i want to see him when he comes back?" you told tony and he immediately sent out a text to your best friend.

after about an hour of just steve, nat and tony entertaining you, sam came back with wanda with the porridge and tony insisted that he feed you or you he wasn't going to let you see peter.

"alright, bub, i think you should really get some rest now. you can barely keep your eyes open," nat says, already getting up with your empty bowl of porridge. "we'll tell spiderboy you're asleep."

"okay," you mumbled, eyes already fluttering shut. you felt every single one of them give you a forehead kiss and then you were out like light.

when you woke up later that day, you felt much better than you did the last time you woke up. you decided that you now had enough energy to take a quick shower so you did. once you were done, you dried your hair while humming to a random song before the door opening interrupted you.

your eyes met with peter's guilty ones. "h–hey, you're awake," he stated and you nodded with a small smile, sitting on your bed and peter doing the same.

"look, y/n/n, i'm really sorry about what happened. i shouldn't have lashed out on you witho—"

"pete," you cut him off. "don't apologise. i'd be mad too if you did something as stupid as that." you reasoned. "yeah but it's not like you did it on purpose! you had a valid reason and i got mad at you for it." he spoke in frustration.

"dude, stop. i'm the one who's supposed to be sorry. i should've just told you i was sick. but i didn't want to upset you because you've been waiting for this for the longest time. but i ruined it for you. i'm sorry, pete." you rested your head on his shoulder and he rested his on top of yours.

"i wanna say that i'm the one at fault but then this conversation won't end until like next week so let's just say we're both at fault, yeah? you need to start telling people what's happening with you and i need to be better at reading you." he said, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you into a hug. you hugged him back. "okay."

the door then opened, revealing bucky with his stupid shit-eating grin and you knew what was coming. you let go of peter and immediately you were lifted off the bed and over bucky's shoulders as he excitedly chanted about team movie night.

the night was spent watching a movie with the team you considered your family and them pampering you even more than they usually did (which, frankly, was still too much) since you were sick.

and right when the movie ended and everyone was preparing to head in, the door to the common room slammed open and a disheveled clint entered, holding a single cup of smoothie.

"got your smoothie, y/n/n!"

#avengers #avengers x teen!reader #peter parker x reader #tony stark x teen!reader #steve rogers x teen!reader #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #bruce banner x teen!reader #clint barton x teen!reader #sam wilson x teen!reader #wanda maximoff x teen!reader #avengers fluff #avengers x reader #fluff #bucky barnes x teen!reader

1K notes · View notes

stylistiquements · 3 years

Text

Day 9 : Scronch'love.

𐐪𐑂 Pairing : Sapnap x fem!reader {Playlist}

𐐪𐑂 Summary : a lovely afternoon and an ancestral question; when are you going to join the dream smp?

𐐪𐑂 Word count : 1.5k

𐐪𐑂 Warning : swearing

Masterlist | Previous | Next

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

“Have you been here for a long time?”

Time bends and twists into unknowns shapes when well spent. So, you’re so not sure. Long enough for your fairy garden to start looking like at least a proper garden, long enough for your feet to start fidgeting, brushing against the soft fabric of the blanket ever so slightly and softly.

“Can you share your screen?”

“I’m just picking flowers, there’s nothing much to see,” you warn but it never does the proper job.

“That’s fine, I like watching you play.”

“Oh, do you now?”

“Yeah. You’ve been playing for years and you’re still dog water. It's almost soothing,” you hear him grin through the silkiness of his voice.

You smile evasively, palm gripping the mouse and executing on memory. Soon, Sapnap’s satisfied noises hovers and everything is just how it’s supposed to be. You spend a while humming the music of days and nights of the game while building your project. Sap helps from time to time, giving advice when his attention is there and leaving trails of compliments on his way. You don’t think the garden is necessarily that good, you don’t mind either.

“Do you think the tree should go on the left or the right of the pond?” You ask, fingers drumming back and forth between the two options. Right he says. "What about the roses, do I plant some or not?"

“It’s just a detail, don’t hurt your brain too much on that,” he says in a light tone, but you disagree.

“Details are what make things important. Like when you remember I prefer warm pillows so you give me yours, it’s just a detail but it makes me happy.”

“Of course I do; you’re a baby,” he murmurs teasingly.

With an arched eyebrow, you retort, “says you,” and silence follows for a second as you plant the tree on the right of the pond.

“Yeah, Dream already made sure I was aware of that.”

“Not sure why the piss baby thinks he’s qualified to have this conversation, buddy,” you note and Sap chuckles are as vivid as contagious. “Why would he call you a baby anyway? What have you done?”

“I-I’m not telling you.” As soon as the mumbles fades, your phone sends loud vibrations on your desk. You abandon your character to the night and the wildness, picking the phone as you murmur a low oh, okay. Whether it’s to your phone or Sapnap, that, isn’t really clear. Still, Sapnap’s words sound more distant, more of what wonders are made of. On the screen, a twitter notification of a certain Karl Jacobs.

“You’re not even listening to me anymore,” Sapnap whines.

“I don’t listen to whiny babies, sorry.”

“We’re on the verge of divorce, yn and it’s your fault.”

A scoff skitters out through teasing lips, “But you still talk about me all the time, don’t you?” Your voice drags through different lands, unknown and musky.

“So what?” He splutters all awkward like it’s some kind of confidence that shouldn’t have left his thoughts and, somehow, you’re surprised the almighty confidence has left the game. “Who said that?”

“Doesn’t matter. You’re obsessed with me, admit it,” you demand and though you don’t notice it, too tangled with the moment, the atmosphere is tinted with a different nuance like it’s suddenly dawn at the end of a summer party.

“So are you.”

Now, your heart drums a strange yet familiar rhythm. Something made of secrets and uncertainty, something you decided to leave unnamed a long time ago. Sapnap, you reason, can’t be lied to. He knows better than words half meant, half made up and it’s annoying, really, but he just does somehow. If you dare to lie, he would know and then it would be even more annoying.

“Yeah, you’re living in my head rent free but at least I’m not trying to hide it.” No answer. You peek at the game, you’ve been slain by a spider. “Karl said that,” you resign yourself. “He said he was about to join the vc by the way.”

Before the conversation can carry on, the sound of Karl joining the call resonates. Being in this Discord server is like living in a house with 10 siblings, that’s what you understand from the way Sap exhales heavily.

“Oh, I am interrupting something?” Karl says, struck by a peculiar energy.

“Besties time Karl, besties time,” Sapnap mumbles beneath his breath and it chimes a little like disappointment.

“Well, too bad I guess,” Karl exclaims. “It's about time I meet miss Bunnyshow.”

Karl is like that gif of a cat sitting in a tiny box with the caption “if it fits, I sit”.

“Does that mean our passive aggressive subweet arc is over?” You ask, faking the dejection when your smile grows wide.

“Oh god, I hope not. That’s my favorite part of the day.”

"It means a lot to me. Especially coming from my comfort streamer Karl Jacobs," you confess.

Satisfied, your attention gets back on the game; flowers rooting gracefully into the dirt and hives ready to host the beloved honey bugs as Karl and Sap catch up on time being apart. Everything is quiet and peaceful like the end of an afternoon well spent.

“I like your garden,” Karl points out and you hum a thank you beneath your breath.

“So you can take Karl’s compliments but not mine.”

“We’re besties you’re honor. Sapnap you can leave now, thank you,” Karl giggles and you follow along.

“Sorry Karl, there’s only room for one man in my heart and that has to be Sapnap.”

He fakes a cry to keep the theatrics before adding without transitions, “You know if you asked Dream he’d probably let you on the SMP.”

“No thanks,” you grin.

“Sapnap, your girl doesn’t want to play with us.”

“She’s already been whitelisted for months now,” Sapnap informs but fails to comment on the first part of the complaint.

He’s not lying, but you feel like it says more about Dream’s stubbornness than it says about you. As for your best friend, he understands better than anyone that wish for privacy and it’s something made of respect like yours for his career. You’d rather see him shaped by all the light than being touched by a glimpse of it. He does, after all, deserves it all. So, that’s the contract you made with yourself because it made sense; being a supportive shadow. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that you’ve never considered streaming before. It’s that it’s his world more than yours.

Karl, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to think the same way, “This is unacceptable, I gotta send a few texts.”

“Lost cause, dude, lost cause,” you grin but stubbornness seems to be a pre required trait for those mcyts.

Before you have time to find a suitable comment about the newborn group chat, a new person joins the call and Sapnap's annoyance is even more palpable, "No fucking way dude. We can't even have a second of peace on this server."

"Why would you be in a discord call if you want peace. You're just dumb," Quackity retorts with an energy he and he only can ever own.

Then George joins and Dream follows on his heels and soon your ears are filled with conversations that are as loud as scattered. Your shoulders sink in the back of your chair as soft fingers try to brush the upcoming migraine away. This is why you can't join the SMP; -not really but still- too much energy that has to be processed at all time. And you should know better, being friend with a very chaotic boy for the last 15 years, but you're not somehow.

"No, fuck that," Sapnap mutters. "I'm out."

"You can't leave now we have things to discuss," George exclaims. "Bunny, explain to me how Sapnap's proposition is more appealing than mine."

"Because I know her more than you do," he defends, and he's right. Money isn't of you interest. Love, on the other hand...

"Because she's like scronch'love," Karl giggles mindlessly.

"The fuck does scronch'love mean?" You ask, amused.

"It's very simple," Quackity intervenes. "If I offered you the same thing, would you even consider it?"

"Of course I would. What kind of question is that?"

"Fine. So, if Sapnap keeps his offer, here is mine; you become the president of Las Nevadas in addition to what he said."

"What?" Sapnap takes offense.

The call brims with an agitated confusion as you smile deviously, heels rooted into the floor to make your chair spin lightly and your fingers drum on your desk.

"I don't think you wanna do that," George corrects.

"Yeah, you absolutely don't," you confirm.

"Fine," he retorts. "So Sapnap's offer plus a Las Nevadas citizenship. How does that sound?"

"Like an offer I'll confider," you sigh. "So who's scronch'love now?"

"Still you," Dream answers. "Except you're also a big dummy."

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・　　 .・゜゜・　　・゜゜・

A/N : helloooo,, how are you??? this part very self indulgent and I think this fic will be in general but I hope you liked it anyway. I love the idea of c!quackity always being too much and always having something to add to be even more over the top. I'm having more trouble than I thought about Bunny's and Sap's friendship because I want them to have a very special friendship but I hope it appears as such. idk. lmk what you think and thank you for reading it it makes me very happy <3 Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)

Taglist : @open-minded-chip-101 ; @itsoakaa ; @gaysludge ; @tinyegg ; @qnfdnf ; @paintingpetalsforyou ; @notjennaleigh ; @victoria-a567 ; @washy-washy ; @moneybagmarvel ;

#129 days #Sapnap smau #sapnap x reader #smau #social media au #sapnap x you #sapnap x y/n #mcyt smau #sapnap series #sapnap fluff #mcyt x reader

190 notes · View notes

elijahlittle · 3 years

Note

Can you write a Daddy kink fic with Miche Zacharias (AOT), something with Angst then turns to Smut towards the end please. I am just in love with him.

title: again and again.

tags: daddy kink(?)(light), breeding kink(?), angst, smut

word count: 3,615

other notes: i don't usually write for mike but i really enjoyed writing this. i think this is my favorite fic i have written so far. i took a different spin on the daddy kink, i'm sorry. this isn't filthy so much as it is emotional?

seeing someone outside of the survey corps certainly wasn't illegal but it was considered taboo. why subject someone to a life of waiting around for their beloved to come home, only to savor the few days off that the survey corps even allowed. it was undeniably selfish. maybe that was the reason why people within the survey corps had a tendency to stick around each other - because who better understood the plights of a soldier sent out to die than another soldier just like them? just like everything else in mike's life, it just made sense. but selfishly, though, mike afforded himself one thing in his life that didn't make sense. you. a trail of goosebumps followed the path his hooked nose took down the side of your neck, leaving small shivers in its wake. if anything, mike was known for his keen sense of smell - a talent so sharp that it sometimes startled even him. in the field, his sense of smell was a strong asset. sometimes the strength of his smell was overwhelming to the point of giving him terrible, piercing, migraines that would shoot through his temple - especially if the scent was particularly unsavory so he had established a rule with himself: he'd only press his nose to someone once, to get a good gauge for who they were, and that was it. but with every rule, there was an exception. naturally, that exception was you. there wasn't anything special about the way you smelled - just like a plain person. sometimes, a sweet scent accompanied you - but that was because baths were a luxury afforded to noblewomen such as yourself. "do you have to leave?" it was a stupid question to ask and you knew it. his fingers trailed up the sides of your arms, causing small shivers to rocket down your spine. he pulled his head back from the side of your neck, resting his hands on either side of your face as he tilted your head up. your head craned upwards, the muscles in the back of your neck straining as your head tilted itself back a bit too far in an attempt to look upwards at him. "come on." was his only response. mike was never a man of many words. you knew this. in fact, you admired his carefulness and precision with words. "look, i know . . ." you, on the other hand? ever since you were little, you had a bit of a motor mouth. in fact, sometimes you talked so much it was hard for anyone else to get a word in edgewise. not that mike minded, though. he never really had much to say, and he liked to hear you talk. you were vibrant and full of life - a nice reminder that hope and happiness existed within the world. "it's just that . . . well - i don't want you to go!" you exclaimed. another stupid statement. of course you didn't want him to go. who wanted their lover to ride off to certain death? "what if you get hurt when you leave? break a leg? or both legs? or worse -" anxiety was creeping on you, causing tension to pull at your shoulders. "or worse. what if you don't -" "shh." he hushed you by placing a sturdy index finger gently to your lips, politely silencing you. "you worry too much." not that he could blame you. in fact, if there was anything both you and mike shared it was a propensity for worry. he was just better at hiding it than you were. "i've always come back, haven't i?" it was his turn to make a stupid, hopeful, comment. he knew better than it, too. it was custom in the survey corps to not speak about returning home from an expedition unless you wanted to jinx it. mike had never been a superstitious person but this was one tradition from the survey corps he liked to carry. though the worry that glossed in your eyes and the stress that pulled at your muscles made him feel bad. so made an exception and broke tradition just this once, for you. there was a stiff silence between the two of you before your shoulders sagged downwards, relaxing a bit. "yeah . . ." you agreed with him. "you're humanity's second strongest, right? it's not for nothing. but i really think you should be given the title of humanity's first strongest." you were starting to work yourself up into a bit of a tizzy as his hands rested

on either side of your face, "it just doesn't make any sense to me. why would they give the title of humanity's strongest to someone who looks like a sickly child when they have someone like you right in front of them. it just -" mike dipped his head downwards, silencing you with his lips this time instead of his finger. "levi is a very capable man. i'd trust him with my life." mike interjected honestly as he pulled backwards, the palms of his hands gently pressing your cheeks a bit tighter. "but i don't want to talk about levi, or the impending expedition, or humanity's strongest or second strongest." mike was also a blunt man when it came to speaking his mind - but that was something you enjoyed as well. in truth, you didn't blame him for not wanting to talk about work on his off day. but you couldn't help it. you wanted to know about his day, his week, his dreams, his aspirations, especially given the fact that he talked so little about himself. "then what do you want to talk about?" you inquired curiously, furrowing your eyebrows together. "in truth?" mike's hands moved from the sides of your face, fingertips ghosting down the sides of your neck, and trailed themselves over your shoulders. his fingertips drug from your shoulders down your sides - causing you to squirm a bit. he couldn't help but let a smile quirk onto his lips. you had always been ticklish. "not much at all." mike's hands curled around your back, closing the gap between the two of you. for a second, you hesitated - not out of lack of want or desire for mike, but out of simple concern. you wanted to pull back and force him to talk about his day, his week, his month - to pry open his feelings and concerns. but the way his tongue gently pressed between your lips and into your mouth was both enticing and inviting. talking could wait. thick fingers calloused from years of hard labor and maneuvering ODM gear traced down your back, his hips pushing yours forward as he guided you several steps back. the back of your knees collided uncomfortably against the back of mike's military standard bed. the collision was uncomfortable, but not rough or rushed. instead, he drug his finger tips up to your shoulders, pressing you down into a sitting position. for a moment, mike lingered over you - leaving the two of you stewing in awkward silence as he blatantly stared. "do you not want to -" "i do." mike answered abruptly. "just -" his voice was raspy. "i need a moment." he wasn't normally compelled to stand in awkward silence or blatantly stare, as he was the type of guy to finish what he set out to do. however, something compelled him to linger in the moment for a bit. it felt like he was looking at you for the last time and the corners of your mouth turned downwards into a frown. you were never one to appreciate goodbyes - only "see you later's." "don't -" you rasped out, your chest heaving up and down, "- don't look at me like that. i hate it." the tall man dropped gently to his knees, carefully taking off your shoes before sliding his hands against your ankles, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his touch, pushing your skirt over your knees as he did so. as your breathing became progressively more shallow, mike couldn't help but crack a lopsided, half-hearted, smile as he used the palm of his hands to part your thighs, muttering out a simple, one-worded, apology. "sorry." the scruff from his trimmed beard and mustache scraped against the inside of your thighs as he peppered kisses to the inside of your thigh. your fingers curled into his hair, pulling at it a bit as his light kisses turned into gentle sucking, leaving a trail of small bruises. your fingers pulled at his hair, causing him to groan a bit. you were growing impatient as he continued to suck at the skin. your fingers trailed along his shoulders, tapping impatiently as his index fingers hooked onto the sides of your underwear, sliding them down your thighs and setting them to the side. "you're taking forever." his large hands gripped at your ankles, pushing them upwards so that you

toppled over onto your back. you let out sound of surprise as your back landed on the stiff mattress with a bounce. mike shifted forward on his knees, still tall enough to loom over the edge of the bed as he gripped at your thighs, pulling them over his broad shoulders so that your knees hung over his shoulders. "sorry." it was another short response, accompanied by a simple smile. his tongue trailed from the inside of your thigh again, dragging his tongue across your slit slowly. you let out an airy sigh, lower lip quivering a bit as he slowly dragged his tongue along your slit again, agonizingly slow before flatting his tongue against your clitoris, giving it a small flick with his tongue. his hands gripped on the outside of your thighs, holding you down as your body writhed with each flick and lick of his tongue. mike couldn't help but hum slightly as your thighs clenched around his face, squeezing as your heartrate began to increase. back arching, you couldn't help but choke out - "i'm - i'm -" he retracted his tongue, pulling himself onto his feet so that he could stand over you. you frowned at mike, looking upwards at him with furrowed, frustrated, eyebrows. again, mike only offered you a somewhat cheeky smile as he pulled himself over you, knees resting by your hips. carefully, he peeled your shirt off, throwing tossing it to the side, and your skirt followed shortly after, leaving you bare undeath him. as mike's head dipped downwards, peering at you from underneath his long bangs, you reached your hand up to trace your fingertips gently along his jawline. for a second, mike closed his eyes and pressed his cheek into the palm of your hand. you brought your fingertips to the edge of his shirt, ready to pull it up over his head, but for a second, you could see his chest quiver just a bit, almost as though something had gotten caught in his throat. "are you okay?" concern washed over you as your fingers curled against the hem of his shirt. "i'm fine." mike answered, trying to convince himself of his own lie. his large hands came to grip at your chest, thumb rolling around your nipples gently - giving them a slight pinch as you hesitantly began to pull his shirt upwards. eventually, mike raised his hands over his head, pulling his shirt off when you couldn't reach your hands any higher. for a moment, you let your fingers trail along his abdomen, feeling the skin which was pulled tightly over his muscle. though as your fingers traced from his abs up to his shoulders, you could feel the tenseness in his neck. along with the years of physical exercise that came with being a part of the survey corps came years of stress. "i can help you with that" it was your turn to give him a cheeky smirk as his thumbs continued to lazily roll over your nipples. as your fingers began to work at the belt that was wound tightly around his waist, mike dipped his head down - taking your right nipple between his lips, rolling his tongue around it and tugging at it with his lips as you finally were able to work his belt off of mike's hips. you carelessly tossed the belt to the side, your breath shaky as he continued to suck at your nipple - his calloused hand now working its way between your thighs. very gently, he rolled his right thumb over your clitoris as he used his left hand to remove your fingers from the hem of his pants, pinning your wrists above your hand. mike had never been a man of many words during sex, instead preferring to lead softly and wordlessly. his fingers stroked slowly at your clitoris, sliding between your lips - his eye contact so intense and direct it couldn't help but make you feel embarrassed. as his thumb rolled around your clitoris, his middle and index finger - which were now drenched in the slick wetness that accumulated between your legs - mike simply soaked in the image of you sprawled out naked beneath him, gasping, moaning, and panting. slowly, mike pressed his first finger into you. your face contorted into an expression of pleasure as he slid his first finger into you, sliding his finger in

and out of you, curling it so that it could hit that sweet spot inside of you that he was very familiar with. "mike -" you rasped out as your legs began to quiver, teeth coming down to bite at your bottom lip. "mike -" you rasped out again. his eyes peered down at you, letting the sound of your voice rasping his name sink into his head. quietly, he observed the way our chest rose and fell, noticing the quiver of your bottom lip as a familiar pleasure began to pool at the pit of your stomach. "mike -" it was almost as though he knew you like the back of his own hand. "mike, i'm trying -" so well, in fact, it kind of scared him. "- to talk to you." "huh?" mike phased back into reality, squinting downwards at you as his fingers still pumped and curled tactfully inside of you.. "what is it?" "what's -" your back arched, your muscles aching a bit, "- what's your dream?" mike's fingers came to a slow stop, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion - leaving you panting and heaving below him. "what do you mean?" "what -" you rasped out, coming down from what was essentially a second (but unintentional), edging. "- what do you want most in life? like when you go to bed at night . . . what do you dream of?" the questioned seemed out of the blue. for a second, he thought about dismissing the question with something basic. oh you know, for humanity to survive. to make a better place for all of the people in the world. but something compelled him to speak openly and honestly. "in truth?" mike asked, his voice a low rumble in his chest. after a moment of thought, mike began to work his pants off of his hips, followed by his boxes as he pulled you forward by the hips. his hand gripped the base of his erect cock, sliding it along your slit teasingly. "a life with you." you had opened your mouth to say something, but he was already lining the head of his dick at your entrance, pushing in gently - his right hand guiding himself inside and his left hand stroking at the side of your face. "but not just sexually." mike spoke, gently pushing his hips forward. slowly and carefully, he began to push himself inside of you. your gasped and wriggled at the feeling of his large cock uncomfortably filling you, but it was welcome. mike had always been uncomfortably large, which had always made rough sex and the aftercare that came with it more tedious of a process. his left hand stroked at the side of your face. "in every sense of the form. i want to wake up in the morning and see your face next to mine." mike spoke as he continued to slowly rock himself into your pussy with small, manageable, trusts, trying to work himself comfortably in. "and i want to do things with you. i want to see things with you. like did you know that outside, apparently there is a body of water so big that you can't see land on the horizon?" mike continued to slowly work himself into you, almost hitting the hilt, "i want to take you there. i want to take our kids there -" he paused for a second as the hilt of his cock pressed into you, "- because most of all, i want to be a father to your kids. our kids" mike's hands gripped at your shoulders as he began to thrust slowly, steadying himself by gripping your shoulders. your nose and the corner of your lips twisted as his thrusts became harder and less shallow, pushing deeper inside of you. calloused hands gripped at your outer thighs, lifting them upwards as mike tried to angle himself into you better. "because i want you to be a mommy. and i want to be a daddy. how does that sound? is that okay?" "yes - yes - oh, yes!" you exclaimed as his hips thrust into yours, cock sliding in and out of you. "i want to be a mommy so bad. i want you to be a daddy so bad." something about the word daddy rolling from your lips was enticing and endearing. his hips shoveled forward, hand pressing against the headboard with each thrust. "again." his right hand moved from gripping your leg, which had curled tightly around him - bracing yourself with each thrust, and curled around your face. "say it again." "what -?" you breathed

out airily, chest heaving. "daddy?" "yes." mike's fingers gripped at your face, squeezing the sides of your face as you sputtered, pushing himself deeper. the sound of his cock sliding in and out of you mixing with the sound of skin slapping on skin. "again." "daddy -" you choked out again, repeating it over and over in little rasps and moans strangling out with each thrust. there was a familiar pleasurable warmth pooling in the pit of your stomach, knotting and threatening to break. your moans caught in your throat, mouth contorting into various small shapes as his thrusts became more frantic and sloppy, losing its initial precision as he became needier and more desperate. your eyelids fluttered, eyes rolling back a bit as the tension in the pit of your stomach broke, cum rimming his cock moments before he reached his own orgasm. for a moment, mike stilled himself - his muscles tensing as he came too. mike rolled over onto his back, his chest heaving as his eyes hazily focused on the ceiling above him. "i can't wait to get back so we can do that again." mike breathed out. "and again." you added. "and again." mike repeated, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you closer.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

the sun hung high over your head, your hand resting on your stomach as the survey corps trailed into the city, one by one. there had been a bit of news circulating town. you hadn't paid much mind to the whispers. only reached yourself upwards on your toes trying to peer over the head of the people who were lined on the sides of the street. at the bottom of the only cart being pulled laid a young boy with bandages around his eyes. you didn't pay much mind to him. "mike -" you called out over the crowd, pushing yourself to the front of the crowd. you placed your hand on the small bump forming on your stomach, a grin on your face as you looked around - ready to share great news. "mike!" a few soldiers looked at you then turned their heads downwards, almost as though they were too ashamed to look at you. "zacharias!" you called his last name - wondering how a tall man could be hiding from you so easily. the short line of soldiers continued to descend down the street. you followed each passing soldier with your eyes, quickly skimming each one of them. a short man stopped in front of you. "oh, captain levi." you spoke, tilting your head downwards to look at him. "i didn't think i'd see you among the recruits -" you seemed unbothered by your inability to find mike. "you look as sharp as ever. i'm not surprised to see you coming back, though - what with you being humanity's strongest and all." you were starting to ramble again. "i was wondering - do you know when humanity's second strongest is joining? i don't see mike among the crowd. is he set to come back a little later?" levi's eyes locked with your own before sliding down to your stomach, honing in on the noticeable bump. his jaw tensed, teeth gritting together before he looked away - almost as though he were ashamed of himself. quietly, he began to stoop down onto one knee. "mike zacharias fought -"

" - get . . ." you choked out, hands resting on your stomach. ". . . get off your knees. stand up." levi did not, though, and instead focused his gaze on your shoes, his jawline tense with guilt and shame.

"- valiantly."

#mike zacharias #mike zacharias x reader #mike zacharias smut #miche zacharias x reader #miche zacharias attack on titan #attack on titan smut #snk smut #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #miche x reader #miche/yn #yn x mike zacharias #angst

225 notes · View notes

viastro · 3 years

Text

the best surprise | lee chan

ミ★ synopsis: you and chan have been together for the last four years, and he has failed to surprise you on your birthday for each and every one.

ミ★ genre: established relationship!au, fluff, humor

ミ★ warnings: none !

ミ★ word count: 3,128

ミ★ pairings: lee chan x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: hi everyone ! it was my birthday two days ago (the 15th), and i wanted to give you guys a little belated birthday gift from me ! i know that’s not how birthdays work, but i thought it’d be a cute thing to do. here’s a cute oneshot of sir lee chan ! make sure to give him lots of love <33

You and Chan have been together for the last four years.

The two of you started out as childhood friends, and it was when you both entered high school that you started to develop feelings for each other. You know the typical childhood friends to lovers au? Yeah, that’s you and Chan. Except it wasn’t complicated and there was no heavy angst involved as neither of you were worried that your friendship would be ruined. It was a rather simple process, actually.

“Yn, I have something to tell you.” You glance up from your phone, finding Chan standing before you with a small dandelion bouquet in his hand. Raising an eyebrow, you ask, “Did you pick those from the school yard?”

“...No…”

You and Chan stare at each other for a moment. With you being unconvinced, and Chan internally wondering whether or not he should’ve gotten the flowers from the actual garden.

“A-Anyways…” Chan continues, shoving the dandelions onto your lap without another word, and you hold back your giggles as you turn off your phone, giving your best friend your full attention.

Chan looks a bit nervous, something that’s somehow new to you even though you’ve been friends since elementary school. Chan usually oozes confidence, always passionate about whatever he does, so this sight is rather intriguing to you.

Does that make you a sadist?

… Oh God.

“Do you want to go on a date this Friday?” Chan asks, promptly putting a pause to your thoughts on whether or not you get gratification from someone else's misery. You tilt your head to the side, feeling warmth flood your chest from the precious blush on Chan’s cheeks as he stares at you with hope in his eyes.

You finally let out a smile after a moment, nodding your head as you respond, “Of course.”

The beautiful smile you’ve become accustomed to finally forms on Chan’s face, making you grin when he pulls you up from the bench, wrapping his arms around you in a warm embrace. You laugh, wrapping your arms around his waist and rubbing his back.

“You’re so happy, did you think I’d say no?” You ask with a smile on your face, and you feel Chan shake his head, squeezing your frame a bit tighter.

“No, I had confidence you’d say yes, it’s just nice to hear it in real life.”

“You’re a bit too overconfident.”

“Shush, you said yes. No take backs.”

And after a few dates, you and Chan became official. It’s been four years since then, and now the two of you are in your second year of university. With Chan being on the dance team, and you excelling in the Art department. The two of you are a rather talented couple, if you do say so yourself.

However, if there’s one thing that Chan never really succeeded in, it was surprising you. For the past four years, Chan has tried and tried to surprise you on your birthday. He would always buy a gift and think, this is it. this can’t fail. this will be the gift to surprise yn.

He was wrong each time.

Whether it be that you stumbled upon the hiding spot of your gift, you barging into his room to find him wrapping your present, or running into him at the mall with your gift in his hand.

Chan never wins.

However, he is determined that this year will be the year as it won’t be a physical gift that he’s planning to surprise you with. He will surprise you with people! A goddamn surprise party!

Nothing can go wrong!

“Everything is going wrong!” Chan cries out, slamming his forehead down onto the café table.

Seungkwan and Vernon exchange concerned glances with each other, trying to figure out how to comfort the youngest that will now, most likely, get a migraine. Seungkwan points towards Chan, and Vernon shrugs his shoulders, pointing towards the youngest as a way to get Seungkwan to initiate the conversation instead. To which the blonde only shoots a death glare towards Vernon, and the latter lets out a sigh, reaching out and resting a hand on Chan’s shoulder.

“Chan, everything is not going wrong.” Vernon says as an attempt to comfort him, but Chan only lets out a loud sob that gains the attention of a few passerbys. Seungkwan’s eyes widen, turning towards the few concerned fellow customers and waving his hands towards them, “He’s okay, don’t worry-”

“I’m not okay- OW!” Seungkwan kicks Chan’s ankle underneath the table, making the youngest let out a yelp of pain. The blonde sends those near the table a smile, and they simply turn away from the trio, more afraid than concerned at this point.

Seungkwan lets out a sigh, before glancing back at Chan to see the youngest lift up his head, tear tracks evident on his cheeks. Vernon holds back a laugh, instead grabbing the rough café napkins and blotting away the tears on Chan’s face.

“Why do you think everything is going wrong, Chan?” Seungkwan asks, and Chan sniffles, dramatically looking out the café window as he’s reminded of what occurred earlier. “Well basically,”

“You’re out… of balloons…” Chan says in a state of disbelief. The employee in front of him nods their head with a pitiful smile, “Yeah, so sorry about that.”

Chan runs a hand through his hair in frustration, not having enough time for this before pointing towards the name of the store that’s in bold purple letters.

“The name of your store is Seongyeom’s Balloons!”

Seungkwan and Vernon both stare at Chan with frowns on their faces, and Chan raises his hands up in the air in exasperation. “That’s the same exact reaction I had!”

“How the fuck does a balloon store run out of balloons…”

“That’s what I’m saying!”

“I think we should acknowledge the fact that just because Seongyeom’s Balloons ran out of… balloons… doesn’t mean everything is going wrong. We can just go to a party shop or something, or even a convenience store! It’s fine, Chan. Don’t worry.” Vernon interrupts, and Chan bites the inside of his cheek, nodding his head in agreement.

“Okay, you have a point. I’m just so stressed about making sure the surprise party works. I haven’t been able to surprise yn for the last four years, and I really want to surprise them this time.” Chan says, and the two nod their heads, already knowing of Chan’s previous failures. Vernon reaches out and pats Chan’s black hair, giving him a reassuring grin.

“We know, and you will surprise yn. The two of us will be here to help you, as well as the rest of the guys! There’s twelve of us out here trying to help you, so don’t stress too much.” Chan glances at Seungkwan, finding him nodding his head along with Vernon’s words. The black haired beauty finally lets out a smile, feeling a bit more confident that this will be the best surprise ever.

“Can you pass me the chocolate chips, Chan?” You ask as you stir the cookie dough, reaching out with your free hand so that he can just place the bag onto it. You raise an eyebrow after a moment when you realize there’s still no chocolate chips in your hand, and you turn your head to find him engrossed in his phone.

“Channie.” You call, just to let out a quiet laugh when Chan continues to type into the cool metal. You reach out with your foot and nudge his ankle, finally gaining the attention of your boyfriend when he looks up at you with soft eyes.

“Yes?” Grinning, you motion towards the bag of chocolate chips beside him.

“I asked you to hand me the chocolate chips like two minutes ago, but you were so busy on your phone.” You say, watching as Chan’s eyes slowly widen. He quickly pockets his phone and grabs the chocolate chips, stepping over and handing them to you.

“Thank you, Chan.” You say in a sweet voice, turning back towards the dough, and Chan feels his heart melt when he takes notice of the bit of cookie dough resting on the corner of your lips from when you were stealing bits and pieces of it.

“Yn.” You glance back towards your boyfriend, wondering what he needs.

“Mm?” Chan doesn’t answer, instead leaning in and pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips. Your eyes widen slightly, warmth flooding your face from the sweet action when he pulls away. The black haired beauty gives you a smile, “You had cookie dough there.”

Your mouth opens slightly as you let out an, ah, nodding your head as a shy smile breaks out over your features. Chan grins, going to your side and leaning against the counter as he takes over folding the chocolate chips into the cookie dough.

You watch as Chan does the tedious task for you, and you let out a laugh when he sneaks a chocolate chip into his mouth rather inconspicuously. He grins at the sound, turning towards you to try and act innocent, and you just shake your head at him.

“Why were you so distracted with your phone earlier? Did you finally download Genshin?” You ask, propping yourself up onto the counter as you watch your boyfriend form balls of cookie dough to place onto the baking sheet. Chan freezes slightly from the question, before easily going back into what he was doing without you noticing. He turns and shoots you a look, “No. I’ve seen what Genshin’s done to you. You spent almost 100 dollars trying to get Xiao when he came out.”

You purse your lips, letting out a quiet grumble when you can’t think of a way to respond to your poor spending decisions. Chan simply grins at that, turning back and placing the cookie dough onto the baking sheet.

“Can’t believe you almost spent that much money on a gacha game-”

“At least I got him!” Chan lets out a laugh, and you burst into giggles as well when the two of you begin talking about your Genshin addiction while making cookies.

Chan sneaks a peek at you, grinning when he sees how passionate you look as you explain your love for Genshin. He’s only so grateful that he was able to steer your attention away from the previous question. As he was actually texting the groupchat the game plan for Friday evening, your 20th birthday.

Internally, Chan is screaming.

Externally, he looks like the epitome of calm, minus the drop of sweat that is currently going down his neck.

Chan swings your intertwined hands back and forth as the two of you walk towards the elevators of your guys’ apartment building. You’re both heading home after the date you went on to celebrate your birthday. Or so, that’s what you think. In reality, it was a way to get you both out of the apartment so that the gang could decorate and prepare for your surprise party.

In which the surprise aspect will occur in about one minute.

“We should’ve gotten a slice of cake from that one bakery we like!” You exclaim once the two of you are standing in front of the door to your guys’ apartment, turning to look at your boyfriend, just to find him smiling at you. He squeezes your hand, “It’s okay. We can go tomorrow.”

You smile and nod your head, letting go of Chan’s hand so that you can unlock the door to the apartment. Chan anxiously stands beside you, watching as you open the door and step inside, finding the shared space to be borderline pitch black.

“What happened to the potato light I left on?” You mutter to yourself, only to let out a scream and jump backwards into Chan’s arms when the lights suddenly turn on and a chorus of voices shout out the word,

“SURPRISE!”

Chan laughs at your reaction after the confetti gets thrown into the air in front of you both, peeking his head around to see your eyes wide and mouth dropped open as you stare at each person in your friend group. You point towards the balloons and the disco ball hanging up on the ceiling in shock, before your face morphs into a bright smile.

“You guys!” You whine, making Seungkwan and Vernon laugh when you raise your hands to your warm cheeks, feeling slightly embarrassed by your reaction. Chan grins, letting go of your waist and stepping in front of you to get a good look at the expression on your face.

“Did it work? Did I surprise you?” Chan asks with a hopeful smile, and you pout, nodding your head as warmth floods your chest. Your boyfriend turns towards the group, before he throws his arms up into the air in victory.

“WE WON!”

“CHAN FIRST WIN!” Soonyoung yells, and all the guys come huddling towards you and Chan. A chorus of happy birthday yn!, and chan! you did it!, echo around the small apartment along with the sounds of laughter.

“Let’s celebrate with some food!” Jeonghan shouts from the kitchen table, causing the thirteen of you to glance over at the wide arrangement of delicacies sitting on the wooden surface. Your mouth drops open, and you quickly grab Chan’s hand, shuffling over to the table without another word. The guys laugh and follow after you, finally being able to dig into the food that they’ve been waiting to eat.

You peacefully eat the cake as you watch Chan and Mingyu battle it out on the switch, currently in an intense round of Just Dance. You let out a grin when Mingyu shoves your boyfriend, taking another bite of cake as you listen to Chan yell,

“Foul! FOUL!!”

“Alright, how’d you know?” You turn your head to see Seungkwan standing beside you with a knowing grin on his face, and you bite the inside of your cheek to hold back a smile, “Know what?”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes, nudging you with his shoulder as he takes a sip of water, and you let out a giggle. You glance over at Chan, smiling at how precious of a boyfriend he is for trying to do all this just for you.

“Well, I found out around a couple weeks ago when I went to go and buy tea.”

“I’ll have a honey green tea please.” You order with a smile, taking out your card to tap it onto the card reader in order to pay.

“Everything is going wrong!” A confused expression makes its way onto your face at the familiar voice, and you turn your head just in time to see a head of black hair slam onto the wooden table. You bite back a laugh, wondering what’s ruined Chan’s mood this time.

After getting your receipt, you walk over to the other side of the bar to wait for your drink, now closer to Chan’s table as you recognize Vernon and Seungkwan sitting beside him. You tilt your head as you wonder why your boyfriend was crying, watching as Seungkwan just stares at Chan in confusion.

“I think we should acknowledge the fact that just because Seongyeom’s Balloons ran out of… balloons… doesn’t mean everything is going wrong. We can just go to a party shop or something, or even a convenience store! It’s fine, Chan. Don’t worry.” You hear Vernon say, and you raise an eyebrow because first of all,

How does a balloon shop run out of balloons ?!?

And second of all,

Why does Chan need balloons?

“Okay, you have a point. I’m just so stressed about making sure the surprise party works. I haven’t been able to surprise yn for the last four years, and I really want to surprise them this time.” Your mouth drops open when your second question gets answered, and you immediately turn away once you hear your order number get called. Quickly, you walk over to grab the beverage, thanking the barista and stepping out of the café so that you don’t get noticed.

“And that’s how I found out about the surprise party. In all honesty, I think there’s a God that just doesn’t want Chan to be successful in surprising me.” You explain, turning to gauge Seungkwan’s reaction. The blonde only lets out an unsurprised sigh, shaking his head as he glances over at Chan.

“You gonna tell him that you knew?” Seungkwan asks when Chan and Mingyu finally finish the dance, and you watch as Chan jumps up and down in celebration. You smile softly, shaking your head, no, “He’s been trying to surprise me for the last four years, I think I should let him have this.”

“Yn! I won!” Chan shouts out to you once you answer Seungkwan’s question, and the two of you glance over at the black haired beauty, letting out a laugh at the sweat beads dripping down his forehead.

“How are you so sweaty from a Just Dance game?!” Seungkwan asks, and Chan shrugs his shoulders, grabbing a napkin and blotting his face.

“Don’t underestimate the power of Just Dance 4!” Mingyu answers back, pointing at the blonde with a serious expression on his face. Seungkwan scoffs, patting your shoulder as a means to tell you that he’s leaving the conversation. You nod your head with a chuckle, watching as Seungkwan walks over to initiate a dance battle with Mingyu.

You move to take another bite of cake, only to pause when you see Chan standing before you, mouth open as he waits for you to feed him strawberry cake. Rolling your eyes with a smile, you place the cake into his mouth, and he bites it, letting out a noise of content.

“You can get your own cake over there, ya know.” You say as Chan steps beside you to lean against the wall, and he scoffs. “I prepared this surprise party for you and you don’t wanna share your slice of cake? How rude.”

You nudge his shoulder, and Chan lets out a laugh reaching out and wrapping his arms around you from behind, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Are you having fun?”

You nod your head with a smile, looking around the room at all your loved ones. Chan sees the warmth in your gaze as your eyes wander, and he finds himself smiling at the sight. He presses a kiss to your cheek, proud of himself.

“I’m glad I was able to surprise you this time.”

Holding back the laugh that threatens to escape, you lean your head back onto Chan, letting out a happy sigh instead as you press a kiss to Chan’s cheek in return.

“I’m glad you were able to surprise me too.”

344 notes · View notes

asknarashikari · 2 years

Note

Minific idea: main Reiwa Riders (maybe including the siblings and Rintaro and Kento) witnesses Ohma Zi-O personally. [your choice how they arrived in Ohma Zi-O's time, whether as a magical malfunction from Haruto, Kouta, or Touma or simply a prank from Kadoya]

Well this is gonna be a weird one

Ikki knew he was in for a weird day when something blew up the Gifu Juniors he was fighting, before any of them could even transform.

"Yooo, Ikki, what the heck's goin' on? I'm gettin' the hives here," Vice said, shuddering.

"What?" Ikki asked, stamping himself with the Rex Vistamp, causing the demon to appear corporeally. "What are you talking about, Vice?"

"There's another demon around here! And it ain't them Deadmans!" Vice insisted. He clutched at his head. "Ow, man, what the heck, I'm gettin' a migraine..."

"More demons... what?" Daiji questioned, his Gundephone raised, looking around alertly, Hiromi by his side doing the same thing.

The four Riders whirled around, Hiromi, Ikki and Daiji automatically moving in front of Sakura and the slightly incapacitated Vice as heavy footsteps walked towards them, armor clinking lightly as they approached. Ikki's eyes widened as he saw- and unfortunately recognized- the one approaching them.

"Oma... Zi-O!" Ikki gasped. "How... What are you doing here?"

"Zi-O... isn't that... one of your Kamen Rider senpai...?" Sakura questioned her brother.

"Yeah... but this guy... He is a future version of him that isn't... good." Ikki struggled to say, not knowing how to explain it. "He's... a demon overlord."

"Demon... overlord?" Hiromi repeated incredulously. "But... how can that guy... become..." He trailed off, looking at the golden-clad Rider.

Oma Zi-O chuckled, though it lacked any humor or warmth. The two Fenix officer kept their weapons aloft at him. "I just rid you of your enemies, and this is how you thank me?"

"Cut the crap." Ikki stated coldly. "The last time you showed up you tried to convince Shinnosuke he was better off with you than with us." He glared at him. "Are you going to offer us a deal you think we can't refuse?"

"Very astute," Oma Zi-O replied, with a cold laugh. "It is a simple matter really. I will make it so you do not need your demons to transform. I will exorcise them from you. You only need to be loyal to me. That is all."

"Oi, oi, oi!" Vice exclaimed. "I'm right here, you know!"

"Hell no. No deal." Sakura all but snarled. "I'm not cutting my connection to Love-chan!"

"Yeah. No deal." Ikki replied. "Vice is my partner. I'm not cutting him out."

"I-Ikki..!" Vice cried, comically but genuinely touched.

"Ah, but then, Daiji can be free of Kagerou. And Hiromi's Driver will no longer feed on his life force- and, of course, I will restore him to full health." Oma Zi-O pointed out coolly. "It would be an ideal situation for both of them, no? They can still be Riders, without consequences."

The two lovers glanced each other briefly, before nodding at each other and glaring back at Oma Zi-O.

"Well, if I'm gonna make a deal with the devil... might as well be my own than you," Daiji said with a defiant smirk.

"And I always said I was ready to lay my life down... but I will never do it for your sake, Overlord." Hiromi hissed.

Oma Zi-O sighed, as if resigned to their defiance. "Very well." The five Riders untensed in surprise. He looked at them as though with regret. "You have chosen a difficult destiny. Do not say I did not try to spare you from the pain."

And then, the Demon Overlord vanished, as though he were never there.

Vice gasped the moment Oma Zi-O disappeared. "Vice?" Ikki inquired.

"I'm okay now, I think... Man, what a presence... It's almost like when we went into that room with the Gifu rock..." Vice said in a rush, shakily.

The four humans looked at each other. That was... an ominous comparison.

#kamen rider revice #igarashi sibs #kadota hiromi #vice #kamen rider #oma zi-o!tokiwa sougo #minific #hxmxbros

16 notes · View notes

oneirataxiahiraeth · 4 years

Text

First Time Jitters

Pairings : SpencerReid x Fem!Reader

Warnings : unprotected sex, oral (fem receiving), fingering, language

Summary : At a dinner party hosted by Rossi, the girls tells stories on the first times they’ve had to fake an orgasm. They all get intrigued by the readers silence and begin digging into her new relationship with Collague Spencer Reid and find out they haven’t even had sex together... yet.

Word Count : a little over 4K

“Are you kidding me? I’ve never felt anger like that in my life.” Emily laughed out, the rest of us entranced in her tales about the horrors of her sex life. “That’s was probably the first, but definitely not the last time I ever had to fake it.” She shrugged, and I felt my cheeks turn pink. We all sat around the fire pit at Rossi’s house after dinner, soaking in the warmth from the fire. Rossi and Hotch were inside, probably have a heart to heart about man troubles or something, and Reid was entertaining Henry and Jack showing them Magic’s tricks and ignoring any signs of the rest of the adults here.

“Well, sorry to you ladies but I can gladly say that none of my boo thangs ever had to worry about not finishing.” Morgan spoke proudly with a smile on his face. I could see on Garcia’s face how bad she wanted to make some inappropriate joke but she let it pass.

“Okay, I mean... Will is amazing. A totally sweetheart, but sometimes...” JJ groaned, leaving the rest up to our imaginations. If I remembered correctly she was actually the one who brought up the conversation. She mentioned something about her ‘mommy and daddy’ time last being a complete disaster that Will didn’t even know about.

I sat quietly listening to everyone tell their worst stories, laughing when they did and making some commentary from time to time. It was growing late and the only thing in the sky was a crescent moon that seemed to shine really bright. I was seconds away from passing out on Morgan’s shoulder as my attention suddenly was drawn to the fire. I should’ve know that eating so much pasta tonight would’ve led to a food induced coma.

“Awfully quiet tonight.” Morgan spoke, his shoulder moving my head up to get my attention. My eyes looked back up to the group whose eyes were all focused on me. I was fairly quiet tonight, but with the topic on hand I hadn’t needed to speak too much. I’ve had my fair shares of faking my orgasms with ex boyfriends, but it’s been a while since I last did anything sexual with anyone. Reid and I only began dating about 5 months ago, and while I was okay waiting for him, he just never seemed to be interested in doing anything like that. Besides the flirty comments, we never seemed to take it past the heated make out sessions whenever we could sneak them in.

“You’ve been staring off into space for like half the conversation.” Emily spoke, a bit of worry in her tone. “What’s up? No fun stories of boyfriends who couldn’t get you there?” She raised a brow and I gave a slow shrug. Of course I have stories, but none of them really worth mentioning.

“Oh no, I have tons.” I spoke, picking my head up off of Morgan’s shoulder. “No fun ones, though. None of my ex boyfriends have ever been able to get me close.” I spoke honestly. None of any of the guys I slept with in the past has ever been able to make me cum.

“Any stories of boy wonder over there?” Morgan teased and I shook my head.

“Not one.” I answered, hoping my answer would satisfy their need for gossip.

“Really?” Morgan looked surprised, looking back to the brown haired Doctor who was explained to the child how he did his last magic trick. “You’ve never had to fake it with him?” He scoffed. “He’s only had like one girlfriend before!” He wasn’t wrong. Spencer had expressed to me a few times about his lack of experience. Maybe that simple fact that he’s only ever had sex like maybe twice played a part in his abstinence. Maybe he just didn’t see me as someone he wanted to have sex with.

“Honestly,” I took in a deep breath as I realized that they were all staring back at me like I was the object of their affection. “We haven’t had-”

“Oh. My. God.” Garcia gasped, already knowing the end of my sentence. I rolled my eyes, as Morgan’s whole body shifted just to give me a look the read ‘are you really serious right now?’

“It’s not that big of a deal.” I shrug it off, minimizing the impact of the news. “Like you said, he’s had one girlfriend before. Maybe he’s just not ready yet.” I mention, relaxing my already tense body.

“It’s been 5 months.” Garcia adds.

"It's not that long of a time to be dating."

“You guys are around each other for almost like 24 hours a days every day of the week!” Emily scoffed. “You’re telling that you’ve never had sex with him before?” She asked and I shook my head .

“We don’t even talk about it really...”

Each of my team members remained silent, coming up with possible solutions to my ‘problem’. I could see it in there faces that they were just in shock. They all looked to each other, equally as confused and a bit uncomfortable as the next. Doubt flashed across their eyes as they all looked because me and the brown haired Doctor across the lawn.

“So...” Emily began “if you and Spencer haven’t had sex yet, when was the last time you did?” She asked, interrupting he silence.

“I don’t know like...” I honestly couldn’t remember the last time I had sex with anyone. “A few years maybe?”

“A FEW YEARS?!” Garcia gasped loudly, gaining the attention of the doctor from across the field who only paid attention for a second before returning to the two boys.

“Oh my god, could you be any louder?” I laughed at her obvious dismay over my absent sex life.

“If you said anything over ‘a few years’ then yeah, I probably could be.” She nodded, still very troubled over the news.

“Look, We’re both pretty busy people outside of work and obviously weee not going to do it on the job-”

“Literally that’s a terrible excuse.” Garcia shook her head, as disappointment began to form on her face. Maybe they were right. We’ve been dating for 5 months but we’ve known each other way longer. It’s not like we were complete stranger still digging to get to know the other person.

“What’s a terrible excuse?” Spencer’s voice spoke from over my shoulder, causing me to jolt slightly. Everyone’s eyes immediately focused on him as he stood there confused and left out. I didn’t even have to give them a dirty look to tell them to keep our conversation under wraps, considering it was him we were talking about.

“Y/n was just telling us how she never read any of the Harry Potter books before.” Garcia spoke quickly, everyone nodding to agree with what she said. I cursed him out in my head as he moved around the couch and sat down next to me. I then shifted my weight from Morgan to Spencer, leaning my head on his shoulder. I tried to ignore the eyes but I couldn’t, each other them staring completely unbothered on how awkward it totally was.

“Y/n doesn’t read anything that doesn’t have hot vampires who sparkle in the sun.” Spencer commented, making my mouth drop. That’s was so untrue, I read other things too... I can’t name them off the top of my head but I know I do!

“Thats so-”

"very accurate?" he finished my sentence causinf my eyes to narrow even though i wasnt looking at him.

“Actually Spence, y/n was just telling us about a headache she had!” JJ spoke up, putting on a concern face that confused the hell out of me. When did I mention I had a headache? “She’s said her head was pulsing and it felt like her brain was throbbing?” My eyes widened and I realized what she was doing.

“Yeah,” Emily spoke, nodding her head as she picked up on the silent plan they just agreed upon. “I think she needs to get home, she might have hit her head or something earlier.” Emily frowned, as if she was really concerned for my health. They each had a look of evil on their faces which, to the blind eye, could easily be mistaken for care.

“Really? That’s does sound kind of bad, maybe we should get you to the ER? It might be a concussion...” Reid spoke, and my eyes widened even more.

“Oh no, she was check by the medics earlier! She might just have a migraine.” Morgan came quickly to my rescue. God knows what I’d have to do to talk Spencer out of taking me to the ER if he thought I was hurt or injured.

“You guys a such-” I stopped myself, watching the amusement grow on their faces as the waited for me to finish my sentence. “... such angels...” I grumbled, “always looking out for me.” I hummed, narrowing my eyes at the women on the couch across from me.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” Spencer spoke, helping me stand from the couch even though I was perfectly fine.

Our fingers were intertwined as we bid farewell to our evil scheming friends. I let him lead the way back to the hous, solely so I could flick them off behind his back. Once we got close to the house, we were attacked with hugs and pleads not to leave by the touch gorgeous little boys who would just missed their uncle Spencer. After we said our goodbyes to Rossi and Hotch we headed back to his apartment. Only because I loved the smell of strong coffee and old books, and he was closer.

“You should go lay down, y/n/n. I can wake you up when it’s time to go?” He spoke sweetly, his hands on my hips as we entered his bed room. I smiled at his kindness, remembering how I promised I’d go to some late night movie with him this morning. It was showing in Russian and he was just itching to sit through 3 hours of it to translate it to me.

“I love you.” I hummed, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, as my arm snaked around his neck in order to pull him into a hug. His movements stuttered just a bit before he returned the hug back to me.

“I love you.” He counter, squeezing me into him. “Now tell me, how many glasses have you had?” He teased.

“One.” I answered, laughing at the face he gave me when he pulled away. “Only one, I swear!” I defend myself with a smile. It wasn’t thag hard to get him to realize I was telling the truth, I wasn’t big on drinking and I’d be damned if I let myself get wine drunk.

“Y/N Y/L/N, showing affection to little old me?” He raised his eyebrows. “What did I ever do to deserve it?” He joked.

"Why wouldn’t I be affection towards my loving, sexy, intelligent, boyfriend?” I teased with a playfully frown.

"Have you met you?" He smiled from my response, his arms wrapping around me a bit tighter.

“You know... I like kissing you.” I spoke slowly, my eyes falling to his lips no matter how hard I tried to get them to stare into his sparkly green eyes which always seemed to stare right into my soul.

“I like kissing you too...” his cheeks turned pink from the compliment.

“Hugging you is pretty nice too...” I further my compliments, my voice turned sultry and smooth as I tried my best to be seductive. I never really pushed the idea of sex on him, I was too scared that he’d reject me and I’d ruin everything. Now I’m starting to think that maybe everyone was right? It’s been a long time since I had sex, and it’s probably been longer for him. And we’ve been dating for a while now... maybe now is the time? “Hugging you and kissing you is really nice.” I murmured as his lips pressed into mine once more.

“I enjoy hugging and kissing you too.” He smiled back, a bit confused but he didn’t seem to mind. His large hands moving up and down my back. Right now, in his mind I was probably just basking in him right now. In mine, I really wanted him to catch the hint that I needed him to fuck me.

Our lips pressed together again, this time sending tingles down my spine. We slowly moved back until I had Spencer on the bed, with me straddling him as our lips moved in sync. He smiled against my lips as his hands moved down to my thighs, gripping them a bit harder than usual. This was it. This was them position we ended up in every single time we made out, only this time I was hoping for somethingother than just a heated make out session. His tongue swiped at my bottom lips gaining instant access before his was in complete control.

Spencer William Red had me wrapped around his finger and didn’t even know it. It’s been 5 months, yet even before I had the privilege of being his girlfriend I would’ve done whatever he asked of me. I was and still am completely ready to be used at his disposal.

“Are you sure you’re not tired?” He mumbled against my lips, slowing the pace before things could get too heavy.

“Not at all.” I hummed, leaving one last peck on his lips. I debated on what to do for a few seconds as my eyes wondered over his beautiful face. “I- I uhm, I have a question.” My voice came out soft, and gentle which wasn’t usual. Whenever I spoke, usually it was with confidence, and had no problem talking about uncomfortable topics but this... this was a whole new world.

“What’s wrong?” I watched the content look on his face dropped into more of a frown.

“I-” my eyes got caught in his, sparkling from the dim light in his dark green painted room. “I don’t know...” I used my fingers to brush a piece of his hair before his ear. He was truly magnificent to look at, from his cheekbones to his perfect nose, everything about him was just... pretty.

“Talk to me.” He frowned further, his hands careful not to move further than where they already were.

“Do you not want to... like...” my eyes narrowed a bit watching his confusion take place. He was one of the brightest people I knew yet he was still so clueless. “...touch me?” I sounded like an insecure teenage right now, and I honestly didn’t care. This conversation could go a number of ways and I’d rather take everything right now that go another day or week or month thinking that sleeping with me was a repulsive idea to my own boyfriend.

“You- I- what?” His eyes widened, and I dropped my arms from around his neck. I would’ve gotten off of his lap, but his hands were gripping tightly on to my hips in a way that made me want to throw myself at him. “You mean like...?” Goddammit Spencer, how fucking clueless are you?

“Do you not want to have sex with me?” My face was just as soft as my tone. I could see the shock taking effect as his brain worked as quickly as it could to fully understand what was happening at the moment.

“I- uhm, I-“ he stumbled, and for a second I swore my heart broke into a thousand many pieces.

“You know... just forget it, it was a stupid question anyways-”

“No!” His voice came out strong and willful. “No I just- I wasn’t expecting that, I guess.” He explained and I nodded. “I-I- do want to... uhm... have a- sex with you, y/n.” His face was showing a variety of emotions and I’m sure mine was too. “ I just...”

“Don’t want to catch a disease?” I joked, which he apparently didn’t find very funny. I couldn’t help it though, it’s too awkward in here for my liking.

“I don’t want you-“ he stopped to think for a moment, “I don’t want you to be underwhelmed.” He explained, my mouth dropping at his confession. He was scared he wouldn’t be able to pleasure me? That’s was... horribly sweet of him. Not that I expected anything less from Spencer himself... that was just very unpredicted.

I wanted to tell him about all the past guys who never even got close to getting me off, but I don’t think that would make the situation any better. Honestly, right now, just the thought of him touching me could’ve got me off. Even if he couldn’t get me there, I’d fake it. I’d fake it really fucking good just for him because so am completely wrapped around his finger. Well, I wanted to be at least...

“I just want to be with you, Spence.” I spoke, watching the light smile form back to his lips. He was conflicted for a second before nodding his head. His light green sparkly eyes then turned dark, his pupils dilating as our faces grew closer until I could feel our breaths mixing together.

“I love you so fucking much.” He hummed, just before connecting our lips again. I felt the butterflies in my stomach going crazy as his hands moved to my face, pulling our lips together again.

He tasted like the white wine he enjoyed at dinner earlier. It was an odd choice but one I could definitely get behind, only if it was on his tongue. His signature scent of vanilla coffe and some expensive cologne swirled around in my nostrils driving me absolutely mad. My hips moved against the fabric of his pants, grinding against him releasing only a bit of tension from my own body. His hands working quickly to unbutton my jeans and blouse, exposing my black laced bra hiding underneath. I let out a tiny giggle as his back collided with the soft duvet, leaving me right on top of him, making it much easier to grind down on him.

His hands moved to my hips, guiding me right where he needed me. My hands traveled from his jaw all the way down his chest, unbuttoning what I could until I got to his belt. I gasped as my back suddenly hit the duvet, giggling again as I felt Spencer smile against my lips. Spencer struggles to carry a gun properly so, flipping us over was a very impressive move coming from him.

“Literally, just beautiful.” He mumbled on my lips before pulling away to look at me.

My cheeks burned a bright red, as I watched him study my own body. His body rested in between my legs, and his hands slowly traced over my skin. He sent me a sweet smile, and I thought of 100 jokes I could make right now but I figured it wasn’t the moment. I lift my hips as he tugged off my jeans and shirt tossing it somewhere across the room, ditching his own shirt. Now I was laying naked, waiting for him to touch me, well, everywhere. My eyes caught onto the faint six pack that’s always hidden under his own shirts, and I swear if I could I’d stare at it forever.

“Like what you see?” I teased, watching a smile spread to his lips as he rolled his eyes.

“Kinda, yeah.” He nodded, bringing his forehead down to rest on mine. His hands moved to my side, taking his heavy grip on them. My leg propped up on his side, giving him a bit more room to work.

“Kinda?” I raised an eyebrow at the reply and he shrugged. My breathing halted at the feeling of his hand playing at the band of me black panties.

“I’m sure I’d like it much better, if you had nothing on at all.” I felt my stomach go into full on cartwheel as his hand slipped under the band of my panties. His lips pressed a light kiss to my forehead, before he went down to my neck. The heat from his hand hovering above me sent the most explicit images to my head. Every time my hips bucked into his hands, his lips found a spot to suck and nip at earning light moans.

“Please Spence.” I whimper, feeling his lips curl into a smile against my neck. He pressed some more antagonizingly slow soft kisses as he made his way back to my lips. He hovered for a second before our lips were moving again, his lips muting the sounds of my moans from his finger circling around my clit.

“Shit.” He muttered against my lips, as he ran his finger up my soaked slit, teasing my entrance just enough to collect just juices on his fingers. My hips grind up into his hand, begging for more of him.

His fingers sped up as he massaged my clit, sending a deep tingle throughout my body. He pulled apart from our kiss, and I released a loud moan. His fingers already finding their way into me, curling to touched that right spot inside of me. My hands grip at the sheets and pillows as he begins to pump in and out of me. I felt the tension in my stomach tightening as he brought my closer to where I was so desperately needing to be. He left a trail of sweet kisses down my body until he reached the band of my panties.

“Oh fuck-” I moaned out, catching a glimpse of what he was doing to me in the body mirror across the room. I could see my panties pushed to the side as his fingers fucked into me faster by the minute. I could’ve came at the sight right there, but picked up on where I was looking. His head turned to the mirror watching as I squirm under he touched when he pushed into me a bit harder than before. He sent me a devious smirk before turning back to his current project. “Oh my fuck- right there Spence- god!” I moaned loudly as I felt his tongue lapping up my slick, playing with my clit as he sped the pace of his fingers. My back arched off the bed as the euphoric high of the orgasm I was about to reach shot through me.

“Cum for me, Angel.” He murmured against me, sending a vibration right to my clit. Without warning I spilled everything on his fingers. I let out another string of curses as he removed his fingers only to replace his digits with his tongue, sucking everything out of me.

“You taste even better than you look right now.” He hummed, as he sucked my juice from his fingers. I put on a lazy smile, as my arms wrapped right back around his neck. He brought his lips down to me, giving me a good taste of myself.

“So pretty damn good?” I joke, earning a tickle at my sides. “My turn?” I prepared myself to be flip over again but instead I was hold down in place by the brown haired man.

“Normally I wouldn’t object but I really want to be inside of you right now.” He commented, my eyes widened a big at his bluntness before nodding my head. He slipped off his boxers, pumping himself above me a few times. His tip grazed my clit twice earning a moan from the sensitive sensations. I could tell he was enjoying having me completely at his mercy. I was enjoying it too. “Are you Ready?” He asked and I nodded, eager to feel him inside of me.

Without another word he slid into me slowly until he bottomed out. I gasped at the stretch and sting I felt as he entered. I felt myself convulse around him, causing him to tense over me. He stayed buried in me, allowing me to adjust to his size. I had half the mind to make a joke about him being such a gentleman but I kept it to myself.

“You can move.” I he gave a nod, as he pulled out earning a light moan from my throat. For a split second a saw a flash of evil cross his eyes. There was no pretty Sparkles in his eyes, they were now fake and filled with lust as his eyes raked over me.

He slammed into me, hitting the exact spot where I needed him. He kept a fast pace, hiking my leg up to his side again hitting into me at a deeper angle. His lips attached to mine in a hungry manner, as if I was just there for his own comfort. My back was arched off the bed as I get the knot forming in my stomach threatening to come undone once more as I cried out multiple profanities in his kiss.

“Oh fuck, y/n.” He moaned out bringing me right to the edge, my walls clenching around him as he picked up the pace. I let out the loudest pornographic moan of his name as I came undone. He fucked me through the euphoria as his own thrust began to stutter.

Our breathing was heavy as he pulled out and released his load on my lower stomach. I gave him another lazy smile, seeing as I didn’t have the energy for much else. Once he as finish he collapsed on the bed next to me, pulling my body into his. I could hear his heart beat racing through his chest... or was that mine? I was sure to be 8 different types of soar in the morning, and right now I was on the verge of actually passing out.

“You’re incredible.” I breathed looking to my equally as fucked out boyfriend. His long strands of hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, driving me slightly crazy.

“I don’t think we’re going to make that movie.” He laughed, making my smile grow.

I looked to the alarm set by the bed. “It’s only 11:30, we totally make it in time.” I spoke, remembering his excitement about this film earlier in the day.

“Yeah, but I have much better things to do actually.” He mentioned with a light shrug, brushing a few strand of hair from my own sweaty forehead.

“Like?”

“You.”

I smiled at the group of agents all hovering in the bullpen, probably talking about their weekends off. It was rare we ever got a whole weekend to ourselves, so whenever we did we made sure to take full advantage of it. I mean... I certainly did.

“Morning guys.” I smiled as is at down at my desk which Morgan for some reason thought was a chair.

“Morning sunshine!” The muscular clad man greeted me with a smile. “How waa your weekend?”

“It was really good actually.” I shrugged, noticing the expecting looks I recieved from the group. I noticed Penelope coming out from her office in the corner of my eye. She caught a quick glimpse of all of us, and her senses caught on quickly before she changes her route and made her way down with a giddy smile.

“You seem happy.” She walked up with a grin on her red painted lips. “You’re not a morning person... you never smile this early.” She stated. “Did you have sex?!” She spoke right to the point, taking me by surprise.

“I- uhm... what?”

“Yes? No? Did you at least talk to him about it?” She pushed, my cheeks turning red at the questions.

“Yeah, we did talk about the whole sex thing.” I gave in, knowing eventually they were going to find out everything on their own, either from me or Reid.

“How’d it go?” JJ asked, her and Emily catching onto the conver as the two of them moved to the front of my desk.

“Am I invited to the party this time?” Rossi spoke, as he walked down from his office, joining our group cluster.

“They talked about it!” Garcia cheered to him, and his face lit up as if her was actually proud of me.

“You did not tell Rossi!” I gasped

“Yeah we did, Hotch knows too.” Emily spoke, “now, what happened after you talked about it?!” She dismissed it, in hopes to get more information.

I sat in disbelief for a good few seconds before shaking my head. I knew they lived for the office gossip, I was the same way. Things like office gossip made us feel regular, considering the crazy and gore that came with the job. In all honestly, I hadn’t minded it all that much.

“It went well...” I shrugged

“And...?” Rossi spoke, waiting for more of the story.

“How well?” JJ asked, a smirk taking over her lips. They all stared intently as they waited for me to reply.

“I mean... we had sex.” I mumbled, just loud enough for them to hear. “...a lot”

“Seriously?!?” Garcia squealed.

“I- was it- was it good? How’d did it happen?” Emily asked, and I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks.

“Uhm...” I tried to think of less descriptive words than the ones popping into my head. “It was really good... like amazing actually.” I scoffed, laughing at the noises each of them made.

“So did you actually-”

“Yup.”

“And he’s the first person to ever make you-” I raise a brow at Morgan, putting slip finger to stop him mid sentence. He honestly looked in disbelief that Reid, of all people, could satisfy me after all these years.

“I said non of my ex boyfriends.” I clarified. I watched as Emily’s smile grew impressed, and Morgan and JJs jaws dropped at the confession. Garcia simply just squealed again, and I can’t even describe the look on Rossi’s face.

“Morning guys!” Reid walked in, a bright smile on his face chasing the rest of us to giggle at his brightness. He was usually in a good mood on mondays, but this was just a whole different type of mood. I had my ideas on why, but I didn’t have to say them out loud.

“Morning loverboy.” Morgan smiled at the new nickname. I haven’t seen him since early early this morning. We decided to part ways, mainly because anytime we looked at each other ended up in us having sex on whatever piece of furniture or appliance was nearest. Surprisingly he didn’t even mentioned a single thing about the about of germs and bacteria we could’ve spread either. Reid gave us all a wide smile before he walked up to my desk. He leaned down to height, placing a stern yet soft kiss to my lips. He usually went for the forehead or the nose, which all of us were aware of.

“How was your weekends?” He asked, looking to his friends happily.

“How was yours?” Garcia smirked, as she rest her elbow on dereks should. I felt my cheek glow hot again.

“It was... really good.”

“Oh we know.” Rossi mumbled, earning a dirty glare from me as my jaw dropped a little bit. The old man sent me a innocent smile a shrug, before Reid caught on.

“You know...” he spoke, giving me the same right lip smile he does when he really doesn’t know what to say.

“They know we had sex.” I spoke quickly, and his eyes widen a bit as he finally realized.

“Oh.” He spoke, fixing the satchel on his shoulder. Spencer was never very public with past romances, so I don’t know how he’d react to this. “I mean... I had sex with my girlfriend, what’s the big deal.” He shrugged, not seeming to mind too much. My eyes widened a bit, as I felt his arm snake around my waist pulling me into his side.

“You know what?” Rossi spoke, standing from his seat. “He’s right. He’s an adult, as are we. So stop acting like a bunch of children!” He scolded the group of adults hanging around us like a bunch of lost puppies. I smiled and nodded agreeing with the man. Reid gave him a thankful smile, before pressing another kiss to my cheek and going to his own desk.

Rossi stood in front of me as he watched the other back off, with eye rolls and huffs.

“Did you at least use protection?” Rossi teased, but for some reason thag caught my attention. Our attention. Sudden flashes from all the events that took place over these last few days flooded our minds at the exact same time. My body stiffened for a second before I grabbed the files stacked up on my desk to work from home. We hadn’t used a single condom all weekend. Everyone’s eyes were wide and I moved quickly, scrapping everything into my arms before I looked to Reid with an equally as fesrful look on his face.

“Text if you need anything.” I mumbled before practically running out of the office with Spencer close on my heels.

We were totally screwed

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #criminal minds #derek morgan #agent hotchner #reader x spencer reid #aesthetic #teaser #wattpad

617 notes · View notes

transmalewife · 2 years

Text

the thing that bothers me about criticism (cancelling) of leftist activists/artists/youtubers etc. is like... so what?

Say Rebecca Sugar was really actualy secretly evil and only pretending to be progressive and nb. say they did actually put some problematic shit in their work on purpose and not bc they're a human being who can make mistakes. Would it matter? They still put a lesbian wedding on children's screens worldwide, paved the way for newer cartoons with more queer rep and showed kids that it was ok. They still adressed childhood trauma in a way few children's shows do.

Say cancelled lefttuber of the week really was secretly a racist or hated nb people. Would it change the years of work they did promoting the acceptance of nb people and fighting against racism, capitalism etc? Even if it turned out they were secretly trying to undermine the movement by tweeting, or whatever the accusation is, hundreds of people still cite their videos as what made them stop being terfs, conservatives, or even in some cases alt right. The effect on the world is what matters.

No, i don't believe any of the people i mentioned are actually secretly evil, but my point is, even if they were it wouldn't matter.

And this works the other way round too, btw. József Szájer proved that last year. yes, it was extremely funny to see a conservative homophobic polititian caught at a gay orgy, but does that in any way undo the immesurable harm he did to the queer community? of course not. the right knows it, and so should we. “What our representative, József Szájer, did has no place in the values of our political family. We will not forget nor repudiate his 30 years of work, but his deed is unacceptable and indefensible,” said Orbán on Wednesday evening." (quote is from this article, which i admit i haven't read entirely today bc i have a migraine and they don't have a dark mode)

I don't actually care what politicians and activists on either side really think deep down. I care how their actions affect my life and the world around us.

Also, a point I never see made about lefttube especially, is that if you 100% agreed with every word they said and how they said it, that would mean they weren't doing their job all that well. They're not doing this for you. We don't need leftist media for the exclusive group of the wokest people, we need recruitment and education, and for that they need to explain things in a way that is accessible, understandable, and convincing to people who don't already agree with them. They need to meet people where they're at, and for that they sometimes need to say things in a way that reads as overly simplified or even offensive to us.

and that applies to childrens media too, like if you're watching a cartoon and going 'ah yes this is 100% in line with the intricacies of my political ideology', then either that show is completely incomprehensible to children, who are the target audience, or your political ideology is excesively simple.

And we really need to start focusing on what people are saying and doing, and not how. My mother used he/him pronouns for me on purpose the day before my top surgery to manipulate me away from getting it. the friends who gave me a place to stay when she kicked me out, the stranger i met at work who gave me money for meds i couldn't afford never once used he/him pronouns, and yet their help saved me, and that's what mattered to me.

#lefttube #rebecca sugar #mine

16 notes · View notes

wizkiddx · 3 years

Text

...surprise

um okay so here I am trying angst again. this is kind of intended to be open ended bcos might have a part two at some point. im also lazy and has a few time jumps. also if someone could pls explain if you just get pics for the top of these off internet or credit on like gifs or something that’d be appreciated.

Summary: Tom comes home and everything is most definitely not the way he left, nor is it healthy

Warnings: please read with caution esp relationship with food / weightloss, but just generally a person in a bad bad head space, lots of self blame - then next parts will carry different warnings too

************************

Tom had been away for months. Months and months away from his girlfriend, separated entirely by his filming locations in Europe and America; while you were busy slowly and steadily climbing the ranks of your law firm. Being an intense period for the pair, you hadn’t managed to see each other in 2 and a half months. Of course, both go you were used to this - 3 years deep into a relationship between an actor and a wanna-be lawyer- this was the name of the game.

But honestly? You both just kept falling deeper and deeper, making the separation harder to deal with - rather than getting used to it as one might hope.

That's why Tom felt such an incredibly overwhelming wave of relief as he dumped his bags just outside his front door. Even though he was exhausted from the travelling, just the mere act of finally phishing out his housekeys brought a massive grin to his face - caused particularly by the sight of his tacky little keyring from a Moroccan market that you’d bought him. That had been your first holiday. There’s that old saying that before you move in with someone go on holiday first - Tom understood it to mean you supposedly see all the bad and ugly stuff people can hide from each other, a prewiring before committing to living in the same space. However that holiday all he’d learned was incredible you are to him. To his dying day, Tom will never forget the moment he looked over to his left when the two of you were on this night time stargaze in the depth of the Moroccan desert. Y/n had never seen stars like it, the skies so incredibly clear and lit up with an array of magical blues and purples and whites on its sark background. The sight, for no unexplainable reason, had you completely opening up to Tom about things she’d never told a single soul. And in that moment he’d had this sort of realisation. Not about how much he loved her - because that is just the cliche thing everyone says… and also just wasn’t true.

In that moment he’d rather realised the potential. The sort of ‘I’m not there yet but I know you could become the centre of my universe’. The sort of ‘I’m not ready to say this yet, but I want to spend my life with you’. The sort of ‘at some point in my life I’m not sure my heart will be able to beat without yours’.

He still hadn’t quite got to explicitly saying all that yet, by asking you for the ultimate commitment. But he planned to now he was coming back to you.

Even with the chill of the early evening winter air, Tom was almost ecstatic as he unlocked the door and let himself in. He hadn’t told you that he was coming home, you thought he had another two weeks on the job, but Tom was a bit of an old romantic - he loved seeing your eyes fill with wonder as he surprised you in whatever way. Sometimes it was as simple as a note on the fridge, or a small bouquet from behind his back or as fancy as a surprise holiday.

However, this time, though it was only 6 in the evening, all the lights of their house were off making Tom raise an eyebrow as he quietly slipped off his shoes - not wanting to scare Y/n just in case.

Tom had sworn when he’d been on the phone with you the previous day, you didn’t have any plans tonight but perhaps maybe a spontaneous pub trip and been offered with work colleagues. The house felt a little cold as he padded through it, poking his head into every room just to check Y/n wasn’t there. His last port of call was the bedroom.

By this point, Tom was pretty resigned on the fact you were out and he’d maybe cook a meal for when you got back or hide about the house or something. But instead, when he poked his head around this door, he sighed in delight at the sight of a still mound under the plush white sheets. For a brief moment, Tom paused, before tiptoeing steadily round to her bedside. The light was still off but the hallway light illuminated the room enough so he could make out your soft features and the messy ball of hair that had been haphazardly thrown in a bun. Furthermore, he could also notice in the light the packet of painkillers and migraine tablets lying opened on the bedside - which made him freeze. Y/n didn’t get migraines often at all, but when she did Tom knew just how bad they could be. That explained the fact you were spark out at six o’clock, making Tom give a sympathetic smile. He crept back out the room with a little spring in his step, deciding that since he had had a long day travelling he'd grab a snack and join you. Unfortunately though, when he enthusiastically yanked the fridge open the sight was a rather depressing one. He didn’t really know what he was craving but the fridge contents were of almost no use to anyone. The place was bloody baron, apart from a tub of butter and of course his special beers that Y/n would never dare touch. With a small huff though, Tom resigned himself to some bread and butter, before getting ready for bed.

It was probably an hour later when Tom was carefully crawling under the duvet to settle in beside Y/n after the disappointing snack and maybe a solitary ‘welcome home beer’ - it would be rude not to. God was he excited to just have his girlfriend in his arms again though. So, Tom naturally reached over and powerfully yet gently pulled you back towards him - making your back flush with his as you mumbled something incoherent. Chuckling slightly at your apparent annoyance of being disturbed, Tom pressed a kiss to her temple before settling down momentarily.

But something wasn’t quite right, making Tom shuffle about a bit - ever adjusting huis grasp on your waist as he attempted to get comfy. With the migraine medications forcing you into a deep deep sleep you barely stirred and that just made the unease increase for Tom. Because you didn’t feel right. This didn’t feel right. Ever so slowly Tom started to peel back the duvet from your body from his now sitting upright position. Typically, Y/n was wearing one of his hoodies, however more concerningly it seemed to pool and collect around your frame more than normal.

Now, Y/n was never the most petite person in the world - by no means overweight, instead of beautiful curves and muscle. To Tom now though, it was as if someone had literally shrunk you - like a picture on a word document you needed to make narrower to fit the margins. Even in the dim light of the bedroom he know realised you looked pale. Honestly, Tom didn’t know how long he just sat there staring at you, until you sighed a little and pulled the duvet back up to just under your chin.

He didn’t know what to think or do. All he knew was you didn’t look well and that you hadn’t said a thing to him. Feeling so very uncomfortable within himself, Tom climbed out the bed and simultaneously grabbed his phone. He knew he had to call someone, to check that you hadn’t been ill - but then who to call? Someone that wouldn’t judge or instantly worry- your mum was completely off the cards. Also, he hadn’t even given you the chance to explain yet, so really he knew there was only a couple of options who were close enough to him too.

“Hey what’s up?” “Um nothing much, back in the UK though so-“ “Oh shit really! Kept that one quite bro” “Yeh well came back to surprise Y/n” “Oh you're soooo whipped” “Fuck off Haz, have you um… have you seen her recently anyway?” “You're asking me if I’ve seen your girl while you’ve been away?” “I’m being serious. You’re pretty much brother and sister and I’m -I’m a bit worried.” “What? You know she wouldn’t cheat especially with me” Haz’s tone turned less serious, using a goofy accent “ I know too much.” Haz still attempted to lighten the mood, this conversation very unexpected and making him grow more and more concerned himself. “Haz quit it. I’m worried she’s been ill. I’ve come in and she’s asleep with a migraine but there’s no food in the fridge and she’s skinny as hell.” “Fuck er sorry I didn’t realise. But um no she’s been cancelling on us for the past like two weeks cos like…I don’t know said she was just snowed under at the firm so” “But before then?” “No yeh she was fine. Went to the pub a couple times and she always drove so didn’t drink but nothing weird - think she wanted to keep a clear head. What are you thinking?” “I don’t know to be honest mate. She seemed fine on the phone but I swear to god she looks half the size of what she was when I left.” “Just talk to her in the morning? She probably is just stressed if work has been mad busy.” Tom hummed in agreement, half trying to convince himself too. “Yeh yeh, sorry for bothering you.” “Oh shut up mate - I’ll see you both at your parents for the roast tomorrow? Sams got some new recipe I think, he’s been wittering on about it for days.” “Yeh we’ll be there, see you then mate.”

After signing off to Haz, Tom placed his phone on the little table on the upstairs hallway and sighed. He knew he was being over-protective but he couldn’t help it. Y/n was always the one to care for him, in fact to care for everybody int he room and then some.

He’d get to the bottom of whatever this was tomorrow, and so the rest of the evening Tom spent rather unhappily get ready before bed yet again before climbing back in next to you.

///////////////////////////

Tom woke before you, a combination of jet lag and the worry in the pit of his stomach meaning he stirred awake first. Instinctively he pulled you closer and nuzzled his nose into the side of your neck as he slowly began to wake up properly - shrugging off the grogginess. Tom was still really excited for you to realise he was back, predicting you to excitedly hug him ever so tight and then spend the morning between the sheets. He knew you found the distance tough, especially when all your closest friends were coupled off, it meant you just didn’t have ‘your person’. It was almost as if you were single again and instead of pining over an ex, hopelessly and completely in love with someone across the globe. But that just made your time together even more invaluable and precious.

So even with his slight unease at your slimmer silhouette, Tom didn't have any control over the loopy grin that came to his face as you started to stir and mumble something incoherent, all the while (and subconsciously) inching closer towards him. By the slight fluttering under your eyelid, Tom knew you were waking up and so took the moment to tuck your frizzy bed hair behind your ear. Sighing contently Y/n’s eyes fluttered completely open and Tom met your gaze with the most gently of smiles.

However, he then watched moment by moment as your expression morphed for one of peacefulness and content, through confusion, and ending at pure terror. He had barely thought of asking you why, before you yelped, throwing yourself up into a sitting position and backing as far away on the bed as you could from Tom. “TOM... I-you can’t be here! YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE!” “Y/n hey what’s wrong-“ “GET OUT! G-GET THE FUCK OUT! YOU CAN’T BE HERE” you yanked the bedsheets to completely cover your huddled up body, as if trying to protect yourself. At this point, tears were streaming down your face and what truly terrified Tom was the expression of horror in your eyes. He threw his hands in the air and unsteadily stumbled to his feet. “O-okay I’m-“ “GET OUT!!! YOU CAN'T SEE ME GET OUT!” Completely bemused and shocked, Tom just nodded jerkily -already halfway out the door and accidentally slamming it in haste.

He had absolutely zero clue what that was about. But what he knew for a fact? He’d never ever seen you like that… you looked so completely terrified… of him? Tom couldn’t for the life of him work out what the hell was going on, as he paced from the shut door to the hallway wall and back again, running his hand through his hair throughout. He could hear you sobbing and whisper yelling - presumably at yourself. It felt as though his heart was being torn out, seeing you that upset and it appearing as his fault? He was acting on pure instinct and adrenalin because your pain hurt him too. He had no control of the physiological response in his body, making his hands shake and breathing increase in speed as it inversely got shallower too.

And so he took a short inhalation, biting his bottom lip as he knocked on the door. “Y/n?….” He got no response after waiting a couple of seconds so tried again - because he could hear you trying to stifle your sobs. After another two failed attempts he opted for a different approach. “Y/n… I’m worried about you… look, I know your upset right now but I need you to let me know your okay… or I’ll have to come in and…and I don’t want to spook you” “Don’t come in.” It was a sharp reply, with a voice that was cracked and clearly trying to keep It together. “Okay… I-I’m sorry if my surprise of coming home was a dumb idea…I-I’ve missed you.” Tom tried speaking softly, as he knelt down and sat with this back against the wall while nervously fiddling with his watch strap that he’d forgot to take off last night. Again he waited for a response but got nothing, again having to warn you he needed to know you were okay. He heard movements from the other side of the door, making him turn his head to the left, pressing his ear on the cool gloss paint. “I-I’m sorry” You barely were whispering, but Tom could sense you were now sitting in a position mirroring his “You don’t meed to apologise love” Returning her tone, Tom sighed at the end - trying to get his brain to process what was going on.

Y/n wasn’t one to overreact and Tom could count on one hand the number of serious fights they’d had in the three year romance. And even then, he was the one to raise his voice - when she argued it was more reasoned, slow and controlled. Actually it was one of the things that in those moments infuriated him even more - you were just so level headed and sensible. Scratch that, sensible purely in this context - everywhere else you were just as loopy as him. So this situation felt so very alien. He didn’t know how to help you and he bloody hated feeling useless.

After a few moments, you replied to apologise once again, for shouting specifically, and Tom nodded - not that you could see. But that was one of the things Y/n had taught him, sometimes you just have accept things - no matter the context. Accept he wasn’t actually a superhero and couldn’t do everything, accept that sometimes he could be a dick and out of line or accept an apology.

“Can you.. can you try and tell me why your upset? I want to help.” He was trying to be gentle, non-confrontational. But he knew something was so wrong. He needed to know so he could try and help out. “I…”Y/n began, but quickly trailed off, as if trying to formulate the words properly. “I’ve just been ill and” again another pause “and I haven’t been looking after myself very well. I just planned to be umm- to be better when you got back.”

It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t really the truth either, at least not the whole truth. But it wasn’t a lie.

“I’m not sure I understand why your so worried about what I think though?” Tom inquired, as he started to fiddle with the door handle in his left hand - as if easing the idea of coming into his girlfriend without scaring you. In reply, you sighed again trying to put the words together without explicitly spelling it out to him. “I don’t- I thought you’d just be disappointed or-or think I’m reliant on you. I’m not and I can handle myself I just…. I don’t know.” “I love you, you idiot.”Tom chuckled at that, while standing up. “Can I come in now please? I promise I’m not disappointed just want to help you feel better.”

The door opened and no sooner could Tom take a step forward than Y/n ran into his chest, wrapping herself tightly around him in apology. He knew that he didn’t have the full story but really didn’t want to push her, more preferring to just love her. So that’s what they spent the rest of the morning doing, in their pyjamas and watching TV. Quite obviously, she wasn’t really making a lot of conversation, Tom filled some gaps with talking about filming - to which she’d hum in agreement or chuckle along. But for the most part Y/n was concentrating on something else.

The all-consuming guilt. That was what was eating away at her.

part 2?

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #Tom Holland angst

273 notes · View notes

dirtydobrik · 3 years

Text

your heart was glass, i dropped it - j.w.

plot: you and jeff have been together for a few years but when you stumble across an engagement ring, your relationship changes

word count: 1650

masterlist

note: i started writing this over the summer with no direction on how to end it but champagne problems by taylor swift inspired me to finish this (title is a lyric from the song)

“Babe, can I use your computer?” you asked, as you poured yourself another cup of coffee. You had spent the night at your boyfriend's, and even though you had taken the day off from work, you needed to check if any emails you had gotten required an immediate response.

“Of course,” Jeff said. "Just don’t get sucked into work, you took the day off for a reason," he reminded.

"I'll only be an hour, two tops," you promised, giving him a quick kiss before taking your coffee mug into his office and settling into his desk chair. You powered on his desktop computer and silently hoped you didn’t have a lot of work to do.

You opened a new web browser to log into your email account, but a website in the bookmarks bar quickly caught your eye. Curious as to why he had a jeweler bookmarked, you clicked on the link. Your heart stopped when you saw a diamond ring pop up on the screen. The ring was stunning: it was simple and elegant but also modern and everything you could possibly want in an engagement ring. But a part of you knew you didn’t want the ring, or any ring. Despite being together for almost three years, you and Jeff hadn’t really talked about marriage, and to be honest, you weren’t sure it was something you ever wanted.

An engagement ring made everything real. It elevated what the relationship was and required a level of commitment you weren’t sure you could handle. Aside from the pressures of a marriage, you were also worried about how this would affect your career. You were currently working as an intern for an entertainment attorney and in your third and final year of law school at UCLA. Your future was still ahead of you and you had no idea where you would end up. Jeff's life was heavily based in LA, and you knew you didn't want to do a long distance relationship with him but you also didn't want to force yourself to stay here.

You needed to get your mind off of the ring, and finally got to work. You logged into your email to reply to the few you had, as well as reviewing a handful documents and answering a few phone calls. An hour and a half later, you were finalizing your last email when Jeff knocked on the door. He poked his head in to make sure you weren't on a call before crossing the room and wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You felt yourself tense up when you felt his arms and prayed he didn't notice as you took a deep breath and tried to relax. Jeff rested his chin on the top of your head, looking at the post-it notes you had randomly placed on his desk.

"Busy morning?" he remarked, and you nodded.

"But I'm done now," you said, your eyes quickly scanning the email you just written and hitting send. You signed out of your email account and closed the browser. You set the sticky notes you needed to keep into a pile and tossed the others into the small trashcan before spinning around to face your boyfriend. "What's our plan for the day?" you asked, needing something to distract you from the looming thoughts of a proposal.

"Let's take a drive," Jeff grinned.

His hand rested on your inner thigh as he drove along the coast. The windows were rolled down and Jeff was humming to the songs playing softly on the radio, but your mind was elsewhere. You absentmindedly picked at the skin around your nails as you imagined potential scenarios that could lead to a proposal tonight. You knew you weren't thinking logically right now, but the engagement ring Jeff had bookmarked kept clouding your judgment. You knew stopping to watch the sunset over the cliffs wouldn't necessarily lead to a proposal, you guys did that all the time. But the fact that you did it so often made you think it was a reasonable way for Jeff to ask you to marry him.

You saw Jeff's mouth move but you didn’t have a clue what he was saying.

"Babe, are you okay?" he repeated, looking over at you.

You nodded. "Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind and a killer migraine right now," you lied.

When you got back to Jeff's apartment, you told him you were going to take a nap while he edited a video.

“What’s goin on with you?” Jeff asked, as you diced an onion for the homemade tomato sauce you were making for dinner.

“Nothing,” you muttered, not wanting to start a fight. You scraped the diced onion off the cutting board and into the hot pan. He could tell you were distant and distracted by something but he had no idea what it was.

"It's obviously something. You've been quiet and ignoring me all day," he pointed out and you scolded yourself for making things obvious.

"Jeff, I really don't want to talk about it," you insisted, your eyes silently pleading with him to drop the subject. He sighed, desperately wanting to have the conversation. He hated how closed off you were, how you never talked about your feelings, how you used work and school as an excuse to get out of things.

But he knew you wouldn’t say anything, so he dropped the subject, instead telling you about his day. He watched you force a smile as he talked and even though he knew you were trying to act interested, your mind was elsewhere.

You added crushed tomatoes into the pan, and asked Jeff to fill a pot with water so you could boil it for the pasta.

You took two plates out of the cabinet and plated the pasta. You brought them over to the kitchen table, where Jeff was already sitting.

“Smells delicious,” he grinned, and you gave him a half smile and a quick thanks.

You sat down across from him, telling him about how work had gone and what your schedule for next week looked like, but the entire time, you couldn’t stop thinking about the engagement ring. The candles on the dining table remained unlit and you knew Jeff was a romantic, but thoughts of him getting down on one knee and proposing kept creeping into your mind. As badly as you wanted to be fully present with him today, you just couldn’t.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" Jeff asked, putting his fork down and locking eyes with you. You nodded, unable to form a sentence, but he didn’t believe it. “Honey, talk to me,” he urged, annoyed that you had been avoiding something all day.

You sighed, dropping your metal fork on to the ceramic plate. “It's nothing, I just don’t want to ruin what we already have,” you said, staring blankly at him.

Jeff’s eyebrows knit together, confusion plastered across his face. “What the hell are you talking about?” he questioned. Things between the two of you were fine and he didn't have a clue what could ruin it.

“I know about the ring, Jeff,” you admitted and his jaw dropped. Not wanting to start a fight, you stood up from the table, pushing your chair back. Jeff reached for your arm, his eyes meeting yours, and you reluctantly sat back down. His hand wrapped around your fingers, as you rested your hand on the table. He didn’t know what to say, so he waited for you to talk.

"I can't say yes," you whispered, looking down at the kitchen table. Jeff slowly ran his thumb across your cheek to wipe away your tears. He was at a loss for words. "I love you, Jeff, I truly do. But I'm about to graduate law school and I'm just starting my career. I don't want to pass on an incredible opportunity because it's not in LA, and I know that your life is here, and I wouldn't ever make you move for me but long distance sucks," you rambled on, telling him about how you weren't sure you ever wanted to get married or have kids and how you were too young to make life decisions. You could tell Jeff was biting his tongue, trying to hold back.

"I love you," he spoke softly, his eyes watering.

"I love you, too, but that's not all that matters. You deserve to be with someone who can commit to you. You deserve to have the family you've always dreamed of. You deserve someone better than me."

"But I want to be with you," he insisted. Your teary eyes met his and you slowly shook your head. You couldn’t let him stay with you, not when you knew you couldn't give him everything he wanted in life.

"I'm sorry." You stood up from the table, trying to hold back your sobs, leaving him lost and confused.

"I didn’t buy it," he muttered, his eyes bloodshot as he leaned against the doorframe of his bedroom, where you were packing all of your things. "But would it have been the worst thing in the world if I asked you to marry me?"

You took a deep breath, turning to face him, but when you opened your mouth, no words came out. All you could do was nod, silently breaking his heart.

You finished filling your duffle bag and slung it over your shoulder. Your eyes filled with tears as you avoided meeting Jeff's gaze, not wanting to make the situation worse than it needed to be.

"I love you," you said, standing on your toes and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "And I'm so sorry," you whispered before opening the front door and walking out, leaving behind the love you shared and the life you two had built together.

#jeff wittek #jeff wittek fanfic #jeff wittek blurb #boyfriend!jeff #jeff wittek imagine #jeff wittek x you #jeff wittek x reader #Jeff Wittek x Y/N #vlog squad fanfic #jeff wittek fic #champagne problems #vlog squad #vlog squad imagine #vlog squad blurb #sad angst #heartbreak #jeff wittek concept #vlog squad one shot #jeff wittek one shot

259 notes · View notes