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sakarrie-creates · 4 months

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2023 Fic Round-Up/Reflection

Got an early start this year! I technically was shooting to get it done before the new year but I feel like I’m still within a reasonable window, so I’ll take it! Here’s my 2023 Writing Summary! Overall, I think I actually did okay! As usual, my rambly reflection stuff is under the cut. Happy 2024 people!

2023 Stats:

Fics Started: 12 Fics Fully Written: 12 Fics Posted: 5 New WIPs: 0 Total WIPs: 20 (ish?) Words Written: 53,686 (55,598 if including fic outlines that haven’t been turned fic) Words Posted: 34,805 Fandoms Written For: 3 (+1 for Merlin FTH outline) Events: 4 (+3)

Posted Fics:

Supernatural (Gen): 2

When it Rains, it Pours (13,779): As part of Chuck's "reliving of his greatest hits," Sam starts having his painful visions again. He doesn’t want to believe it, but the nightmares keep coming true and now, he's beginning to worry it’s not just visions. During their last hunt, Sam could have sworn that the machete he was reaching for threw itself. Dean didn’t seem to notice anything but later that night, Sam finds a small trail of blood coming from his nose.

He needs to tell Dean—he knows that. But Dean’s been struggling a lot between Chuck and losing... well, most everyone. He's just barely beginning to bounce back, and Sam was his only constant right now. He’ll just have to keep a handle on it until they can take care of Chuck. Set around s15e4 Atomic Monsters.

Whatever it Takes (1,875): Gadreel's possession of Sam has more serious side-effects than Dean ever imagined. Now, his brother is sick, hurting, and close to giving up. But Dean is determined to make this right.

The Owl House (Gen and Implied/Background Ship - Huntlow): 2

What Doesn't Kill You (Gives You Trauma) (1,737): With the reconstruction of Hexside finally complete, a sense of normality has been restored. Fortunately, that includes Grom. Unfortunately one of their own has been declared King. Hunter doesn’t even know which fear he'll have to face. He certainly has enough painful memories for Grom to take its pick. With a bit of luck and support from his friends, though, he might just make it through the night.

Frenemies (1,737): Hunter gets a mysterious message telling him to meet them at the night market. He really should have realized Luz would be behind this. Or: Post-ASIAS, Luz doesn't like the idea of Hunter suddenly showing up at Hexside and almost kidnapping her friends.

Code Lyoko (Gen): 1

No One’s an Island (7,612): Yumi is tired. XANA's attacks have been relentless and it's wearing her down. Between school, home life, and Lyoko, she's not sure how much more she can handle. After all, there's only so much weight one person can take. Except, it's not just Yumi's burden to carry, and her friends are going to do whatever they can to remind her of that.

Specifics:

Events Participated In:

SPN Summergen (Fic), Player Appreciation Week (Art), Weird People MEP (Edit), Dear Fellow Traveler (Animatic), SPN Gencest Bang (Fic), Fandom Trumps Hate (Art/Fic), Mirage and Mischief Zine (Fic), and LOTS of zine apps (Fic, Art, Mod).

Best/worst title?

Best title: None of them super jump out at me, but Whatever it Takes and Between the Lines of Fear and Blame both come from songs where the song vibe/lyrics match the fic PERFECTLY. The latter is a bit long for my tastes, but it’s grown on me. What Doesn’t Kill You (Gives you Trauma) makes me chuckle too, but it’s got the same length issue as well as trying out a new style from my norm which I had mixed feelings on.

Worst title: Oof, well as usual, I didn’t particularly like most of my titles this year. I think Frenemies has to take the cake though. It started as a working title but then I got lazy and just left it when I posted. It feels so generic and not... aesthetic enough? Poetic enough? Literally no idea why it bothers me so much but it does.

General Questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

I honestly can’t remember what I was expecting this year (and it’s tradition that I can’t look back at my goals ‘til I answer these questions, so it will remain unknown). I certainly hoped to be able to do more since last year was a fairly barren year creativity-wise, but I’ve also been quite aware for a while that being in school sucks out my soul makes it difficult to create. With that, I think I probably was in the ballpark of what I was expecting. I might have predicted it being more spread out, though, which is a rookie move considering that my classes are clustered haha. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I think I’d just barely gotten into TOH at the start of the year, so that wasn’t COMPLETELY unpredictable, but I did write some Huntlow (aka, romance) fics, which is abnormal for me! Additionally, I can’t remember if I discovered The Sentinel this year or last, but that definitely wasn’t expected. Just got the DVDs so I can finish watching the series! Oh, also writing Code Lyoko was a new experience (not counting my random 6th grade fanfiction I wrote in notebooks lol).

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

I’m split quite a bit on this one. On one hand, I really like my Grom fic (so far) so I’m hoping that will continue to flow as I wrap it up. I also like my unposted fic about Willow dealing with Hunter’s near-death and Camila comforting her. Of those that are currently posted, though, I think I might go with No One is an Island. It was a lot of fun trying to figure out how to write Yumi and the other Code Lyoko characters, and considering the small size of the fandom, it was fairly well-received too!

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

Same as the last two years! Fragmentation’s views are hard to really predict since view counts have been down since September, but the total views has officially surpassed the overall word count at 21.4k views (vs 20.7k word count). Which is AMAZING. It’s always a bit wild to me to consider, but I’m so great people are enjoying my fic. Next is still The Problem With Good Intentions at 12.6k, which surprises me less now that I’ve seen just how alive and well the Once and Future Fandom is haha. From the fics I posted this year, it would be When it Rains, it Pours at 1.5k.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

A Letter to Never Be Read on FF.net never really got any traction, but I think I’m over it by now. As for more current underappreciated fic... I think I might actually go with When it Rains, it Pours again. Even though it had the most views, it’s a fairly long, multi-chap story and didn’t get many reviews in between chapters. That’s part of the challenge with bangs and posting dates, though, so nothing too shocking there.

Hardest story to write?

It’s really hard to say! I was struggling with burnout a lot during my zine app timeframes, but most of those fics haven’t been posted yet. It might be Whatever it Takes just cause I had such a hard time coming up with something that matched the prompts as well as my preferences. When it Rains, it Pours was also a challenge at times, but mostly in trying to find motivation to write anything.

Most overdue story?

It’s Only Natural is still very very overdue, but it’s not super popular (and is on FF.net), so it’s not one I’m stressed about. I think about A Long Ways Home a lot, though. I wanted to work on it recently, but unfortunately my writing energy needed to go towards FTH so that continued to be put off. People have left some very supportive comments on it recently, though, which I majorly appreciate!

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

It hasn’t been a very writer-heavy year, which means less opportunities for writing risks. Writing for Code Lyoko was something of a risk in that I had no idea how it would turn out, but it wasn’t actually that adventurous. I also explored different types of grief in an unposted zine app piece, but I think in the end it turned out solid! My biggest risk was probably a different ficlet I wrote for a zine app. It was of young Eda and Grudgy, so both about characters I’m less invested in and in the sports genre, which is totally new for me. Unfortunately, that risk didn’t pay off. I actually felt pretty good about it, but when I sent it for feedback from a mod friend, they really didn’t like it. Everything’s subjective so it’s possible that it would still be enjoyable for some people, but suffice to say, I didn’t use it for any apps in the end.

How’d this year compare to your goals of last year?

Okie here we go! I think my goals were fairly reasonable last year if I remember correctly so I’m tentatively optimistic I’ll have some stuff to check off!

Oof last year had a bunch of paragraphs of reflection here. I think I’m gonna focus more on bullets this year haha.

Goals from 2022:

-Unfortunately, keeping my scholarship has to be my biggest goal this year again so gonna put that here in case it's the only thing I can check off come December.

-A Long Ways Home (at least 1 new chapter) -SPN Summergen-At least 3/7 Player Appreciation Week days-Catch up on comment replies -At least do some more brainstorming for bigger CS aus -Huntlow/Owl House fics?-One zine?

If crazy inspired year: -All of A Long Ways Home -All Player Appreciation Week Days -WIP Bang with It’s Only Natural -Post More CS One-shots -Write out more big AU scenes -Other Zines

Oof, okay so apparently I was not crazy inspired this year lol. To be fair, I did do a bit more exploration in art and lots more in merch, so it wasn’t a totally uncreative year. And I doubled my word count overall from last year! Plus I did apply to a LOT of zines this year... I just unfortunately didn’t get in to nearly any of them. Next time maybe though! I’m a pinch hitter for a couple so that’s something at least!

It’s also been a year with lots of burnout and anhedonia for me, so brainstorming has been completely unachievable for most of the year. It’s been sad and I feel a little bad for my poor friends who love to brainstorm with me, but thankfully they have other sources. I’m scared to say anything, but I’ve felt more recently like maybe some interest is returning, so I’m crossing my fingers that it will still be there by the time FTH/Mirage&Mischief stuff is finished and school starts.

I actually met my goals this year too! In fact, my stretch goal had 25k posted, which I doubled in total and surpassed in written too, which is really impressive for me! Not to mention, I finished EVERY SINGLE fic I wrote this year!! That’s WILD for me. To be honest, it’s probably more a sad reflection on how I was writing purely for external deadlines rather than myself, but hey! Still got them all done and wrote a lot of words. Overall, thank you last year Sakarrie for keeping things achievable cause I actually did meet/exceed my goals!

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Well, I was a little relieved to find that I’d met them this year, so I think I’m going to try to keep things not too high again. Overall, though, I think I want to have a little more room for creative freedom in what I’m writing this year. For how little creative work I was doing, I did a TON of events, and at many times, those obligations stopped me from working on something I was feeling more inspired by. My fandom interests jumped all over this year (main focuses include: TOH, Merlin, Code Lyoko, The Sentinel, Dragon Prince, She-ra, Handplates (Undertale), and Centaurworld). Honorable mentions to Amphibia, SPN, and Miraculous Ladybug too... and that’s all just the stuff I’ve had long hyperfixations on this year. There’s tons of fandoms outside of those that also grabbed my attention on and off this year.)

Anyway, my hope is that I’ll be able to write similarly or more this year, but based on my own fickle inspiration, rather than only writing when I hate to for events. With that, I think I’m going to just stick with the Gencest Bang and zine obligations as the only writing events I’m planning on this year. I also hope to do Player Appreciation Week and Summergen again, but both of those could be art if needed.

I also 100% failed in my comments goal from last year, but my mindset is slowly getting healthier I think. I do leave comments occasionally, but they still feel like way bigger deals than they should be. I’m getting better at letting old tabs go, though! I’m also fairly behind on responding to comments of my fics, but that one’s a lot more manageable.

Additionally, I want to have a pinned post on my tumblr page and ao3 profile page where people who are interested can see my current status on projects. I don’t expect it would be updated all the time, but it might help me keep track of everything.

Okay so! Goals for next year: -Have a solid zine portfolio -Make pinned update post -Post at least 4 stories -Embrace/follow the inspiration -Finish first draft A Long Ways Home -Gencest Bang -Summergen Exchange -Code:Swap -Player Appreciation Week -Apply to more zines

So, finally work counts goals are...

Easy Goal Word Count Goal: 20k (at least 10k posted)

Stretch Goal (aka, if I don’t die from school agAIN): 60k (at least 30k posted)

Ultimate 2021 Word Count Goal: 38k

#sakarrie's fic #the owl house #supernatural #code lyoko #gen #huntlow #ao3 #fic list #2023 fics #end of year reflection #fic roundup

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derelictheretic · 2 years

Note

I’d love to hear more about Tug o' War!

Well it's my current main Heather wip!! Atm it's half an exploration on how she interacts with John and half her and John fighting over Dean in their weird Them ways, i'm having a lot of fun with their back and forths; speaking of here's a snippet of Heather and John doing anything but speaking directly <3

"Why do you care?"

"He seems a bit too sweet for you doesn't he? Kind of like a puppy," Heather hums thoughtfully, turning the picture frame in her hand around to inspect the photo in it. John can feel an itch to snatch it away from her but he kept himself composed, walking just a ways behind her and keeping his hands tucked under his crossed arms as he watched her hands with a tight glare.

"Do you have a point?" John drawls, trying to sound uninterested as she puts the picture frame back in its place on the mantle. She chuckles and it's annoying how smug she sounds without even saying anything, even the way she slides her hand over the mantle as she takes a few graceful strides away from him is smug.

"My point is you're a cat person playing house with a puppy, it doesn't quite add up," she muses, eyes locking onto his as she lets her hand drop back to her side, "unless you tricked them into thinking you're a dog person," she says, pointing at him the way she use too when in the courthouse, eyes shining like they did when she found a piece of information he'd done everything to keep from her. The only difference here was her metaphor was stupid and sounded like it was coming from a teenager trying to rile up their school rival.

"Or maybe I've grown up and I prefer dogs now—dogs never bite me or scratch me," He snaps, somehow letting the nonsensical words get under his skin despite himself. Maybe it's because he knew what she was actually trying to say and he hated what it implied; especially what it implied about his relationship with Dean. If it could be called that.

"You never complained about being bitten or scratched before," The flicker in her eyes as she smirks up at him is painfully familiar and John is almost shocked out of his anger for a moment.

#dean answers #aceghosts #oc: Heather Lucille Valentine #Far Cry Tag #this scene is in the very literal first draft stage and I have a lot to tweak and add but !! i'm loving it #I want them both to seem a bit more childish around each other if that makes sense?#like I want the vibe of ppl who are around and old friend and they start subconsciously acting like how they did when they knew them #with a lot more toxic undertones ajajsjdjnf

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sofreddie · 3 years

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My Girl 2

A/B/O BINGO: CEDAR/OLD BOOKS/SAGE (@spnabobingo)

VILLAINS BINGO: LYING (@spnvillainsbingo)

Summary: Sam tracks down Y/N and decides she's coming with him.

Characters: Alpha!Demon!Dean x Omega!Female!Reader, Alpha!Sam

Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics, Angst, Kidnapping

Word Count: 702

PART 1

Y/N checked herself over one last time before she went to the adjoining bar where Dean was waiting. Dean's flannel, check. Hair in ponytail so his mark was clearly visible, check.

He'd grown worse since claiming her. His jealousy and possessiveness knew no bounds. At least he wasn't fucking other women anymore. Now he used his Omega for all of his needs and frustrations.

She hurried her way from the motel room, securing the door behind her. She caught his familiar scent before she ever laid eyes on him. Her eyes fluttered closed a moment, the scents of cedar trees, old books in the Library, and burning white sage making her feel calm and safe - at home.

"Hey Sam," Y/N said, forcing a smile as she turned to see the tall, imposing form of Sam silently step towards her. He was injured and looked tired. She doubted he'd slept, probably spending all of his time looking for his missing brother.

Sam's eyes landed on the claim at her neck, his sadness deepening, "Are you okay?"

"What's the plan, Sam?" she deflected. She had hoped and prayed that Sam would find them, cure Dean, bring them out of this nightmare.

"You should come with me," Sam insisted, trying to wrap an arm around her shoulders. With one in a sling, it was easy for her to side-step his efforts, "I can cure him."

"I'm not leaving him, Sam," she protested in a huff, "He's my Alpha. He's a demon. Do you have any idea what he'd do if I left with you?"

Sam huffed in annoyance, shaking his head as he tried to think of a way around the situation. There was no way she wanted to stay. It had to be Dean's influence, or his mark, that was making her feel that way.

Reluctantly, and in spite of the pain he felt as she fought back, Sam restrained Y/N, forcing her into the backseat of his sedan, driving away from the motel. He needed to get her somewhere else, somewhere safe, so he could deal with Dean. He couldn't let Y/N get hurt in the crossfire.

Dean growled as he stood outside of the empty motel room. He began to sweat and shake, a demonic rut taking hold through his ire. He could smell Sam, the lingering scent of him and Y/N making him snarl.

No one touches his Omega.

Dean closed his eyes, forcing himself to focus through his primal rage. He locked onto his bond, following the energy of it like a physical tether. He hopped in the Impala, following the hint of a trail and thinking about who he was going to kill once he found her.

Cole hung up the phone, Dean's seeming indifference making wonder what to do now. He had Dean's brother and his Omega. Would he really just let them be killed?

"You're making a big mistake," Y/N huffed, her fear intense and mingled with her scent, "He's not what you think. If he says he doesn't care-" she trailed off. Cole had called, told Dean he had them.

But Dean didn't care, didn't care that they would be killed. Despite everything, that still hurt her to her core. He was her Alpha. At least, he was supposed to be.

"We'll see about that," Cole responded, looking over the pair tied to chairs. He turned to the bag on the table, searching through it's contents and selecting a hammer.

He turned to look at Sam over his shoulder, showing the hammer. Sam squirmed and Cole approached him, ready to start taking Sam apart piece by piece.

Y/N was about to scream and protest, until she saw him, coming through the open barn doorway at the other end. She wasn't sure what scared her more. The maniac with the hammer. Or the maniac with the first blade currently held tight in his hand.

Cole heard the shuffle of movement and quickly turned towards the source, surprised to see Dean. He smiled, "Well I thought you said you didn't care what happened to them."

"I lied," Dean shrugged, stepping closer, "You touched my Omega," Dean growled, his eyes turning black as he snarled, "Big mistake."

PART 3

Forevers:

@sis-tafics

@lyarr24

@calaofnoldor

@hobby27

@spnbaby-67

@fangirlxwritesx67

@jarpad24

@flamencodiva

@flashxspn

@donnaintx

Dean Winchester:

@akshi8278

@jerkbitchidjitassbutt

@slamminmine

@idreamofdeanie

@charred-angelwings

@deandreamernp

@laycblack

#spnabobingo #spnvillainsbingo #my girl #alpha!demon!dean x omega!reader #supernatural #spn

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dean-winchester-is-a-warrior · 3 years

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Green is My Favorite Color Ch. 3

Pairings: Dean x Fem!OFC (eventual)

Explicit 18 +/Warnings: None in this chapter. Just some angst and a little sadness. And an angry John.

Word Count: 3,760

Series Summary: Dean has been her hero from childhood, can she ever get him to be more?

|| Series Masterlist ||

Chapter Summary: It's been over a year since Dean has seen Julie, can he still come to her to brighten his day?

A/N: The third chapter in a longer series. I’m figuring about 10 chapters. (At this point, anyway.) It’s what I’ll call cannon adjacent. It will follow the general storylines through the seasons, but I’m creating my own offshoots. 😊

3 Years Later (2003)

The late afternoon sun was shining brightly into Dean's eyes as he leaned against the Impala, waiting to see a telltale shock of auburn hair and freckles come through the school doors.

This was probably stupid. Maybe bordering on creepy? he thought. I'm a grown ass man waiting outside a high school to pick up a kid I haven't seen in over a year. He shook his head. I'm gonna get arrested.

But then she walked out of the double doors, ponytail swinging, wearing a backpack that looked bigger and heavier than her, and Dean felt his heart lift. Without fail, even after all this time away, the sight of her brightened him, made him feel lighter. He needed that so badly right now.

He leaned in the open driver's side window and honked the horn, making her jump a foot. He chuckled. His smile widened as he saw her eyes brighten and her surprised smile light up her face as she caught sight of him. She was beaming at him as she ran full throttle towards him.

He was prepared for her attack hugs by now, and he welcomed it. He allowed his arms to settle around her shoulders, as comfortable as ever, as she squeezed a small grunt out of him.

"Careful, kid. You got strong." he teased her, looking down at her shining face where she rested her chin on his chest.

She pulled away from him to punch him lightly in the arm. "What are you doing here and why didn't you call?"

He tilted his head toward the car behind him. "Wanna go for a ride?" he asked, already knowing the answer. Even if she didn't want to talk to him after he'd sort of gone MIA for a year, she'd never turn down a chance to go for a ride in the shining black beauty.

She crossed her arms and tilted her head questioningly. "I don't know. I'm not supposed to take rides from strangers and I haven't seen you in over a year...stranger." she said, heavily emphasizing the last word. Her eyes narrowed slightly, accusing him, but asking for an explanation too.

He didn't have an easy one to give her. So, he just shrugged and gave her an apologetic look. "Sorry, kid, it's just the job." He hoped she'd just accept that almost answer.

She took a moment, but then she pulled off her backpack and tossed it to him and he stumbled back under the weight.

"Good God, Jules! I've got guns, knives, ammo, and a first aid kit in my duffel bag and it doesn't weigh half this much! What are you lugging around in here, gold bars?"

She chuckled as she walked around to the passenger side. "I wish. Nope, just books. And the small bag of salt Bobby won't let me leave the house without. But mostly books."

Dean shook his head and hefted the backbreaking bag into the back seat before climbing in behind the wheel. As he pulled the door closed, Julie grabbed hold of his upper arm with both her hands.

"Can you please do that really cool thing where you like spin the tires and gravel goes flying everywhere? Please?! There's no one around!" she turned wide, pleading eyes on him. "Please?!"

Dean shook his head, caving under the irresistible pressure of those big brown eyes. "Fine, but this might be considered contributing to your delinquency."

Julie grinned wide enough for her one dimple to appear. "God, I hope so!"

***

As the wheels on the beautiful black tank spun, and made a satisfying grinding crunch in the gravel before taking off like a missile, Julie let out a whoop. When they were on the highway, she rolled down the window and stuck her head out as Dean sped south, away from town.

She supposed she should be afraid going this fast, but she was never afraid when she was with Dean. It was the only times in her life when she felt utterly and completely safe, nearly indestructible. She trusted him, his abilities, his protection, and even his driving skills, without question. And a year without seeing him hadn't changed that.

Dean was chuckling at her as she tucked her head back into the car, pushing back the stray hairs that had come loose from her ponytail.

She looked into the back, but didn't notice any signs of Sam or John. "Where are Sam and your dad?"

She instantly regretted asking the question because Dean's grin melted in a heartbeat, replaced by a look of such sadness. It was gone in an instant and if she hadn't been looking right at him she would have missed it. But she'd seen it and it made her stomach tighten a little in worry.

Dean was silent for a beat before pointing toward the tape deck where Metallica's "Wherever I May Roam" was pouring out of the speakers.

"Did you know that the lead singer of Metallica, James Hetfield, loves classic cars?"

He glanced over at Julie before returning his eyes to the road. She wanted to press him for an answer as to Sam and John's whereabouts, but she could see his desperation to change the subject, so she allowed it, picking up the conversation about Metallica.

"Really? Is he just one of those rich guys who buys a bunch of cars to show them off, or does he actually know about them?" Growing up in an auto salvage yard had made Julie pretty savvy about cars at a very young age.

Dean grabbed on to the conversational lifeline she threw him, clearly grateful and relieved as he warmed up to his subject. "No, he really knows cars. He grew up fixing and rebuilding them with his dad. If he wasn't a rock star, he might have ended up just working in a garage. What a loss to rock that would have been!"

***

Three hours and six mixed tapes later Dean and Julie were parked, overlooking a deep ravine that led to a river bank. They were sitting on the hood of the Impala, munching on juicy burgers and crunchy fries.

Julie kicked her shoes off onto the ground so she could cross her legs underneath her without fear of scratching Dean's baby.

She scooted up close to the windshield and leaned back against it, patting her stomach. "Oh my god, I'm so full." she groaned.

Dean grinned. "Good. I'm sure Bobby feeds you good, but nothing beats burgers and beers." He said, tipping his bottle toward her. "Not that you'd know about that last part."

Julie sat up. "Well, I would if you'd give me a sip."

"Uh uh." Dean said quickly. "Not likely."

"Oh come on!" Julie pleaded. "Like you never had a beer before you were 21?" Her expression was full of knowing disbelief.

"Not the point." Dean said, pointing a scolding finger at her. "Do as I say, not as I do."

Julie rolled her eyes, but gave a small grin. "Some role model you are!"

Dean smiled, but sadness peeked through. "Good god, no. Never use me for a role model."

There was a slightly awkward pause and Dean took another sip of his beer while Julie played with a loose thread on the bottom of her tank top.

She shivered slightly in the early autumn breeze. It was September which meant it was warm in the sunshine but had turned cold as the sun sank in front of them.

Dean set his bottle down and shrugged out of his dark blue, heavy denim jacket.

"Here. You're gonna catch a cold." he said, settling the heavy jacket around her shoulders. It was massive on her, but she slipped her arms through the sleeves and wrapped herself up in it, drinking in Dean's warmth and scent - a kind of woodsy, earthy scent, something that was masculine and crisp and caused her young heart to flutter and her stomach to erupt in butterflies.

Suddenly shy, she ducked her head and smiled. "You don't catch a cold from the cold, you catch them from a virus."

"Either way, if I bring you home with a cough Bobby's gonna skin me. Speaking of, isn't he gonna be worried about you?" Dean asked as though the idea just occurred to him.

But Julie shook her head. "No, he's out on a hunt. Said he probably won't be back for two days."

Dean nodded. "You get left on your own a lot?" He asked, and his voice held a note of some emotion Julie couldn't put her finger on. Anger? Sadness?

"No, hardly ever. I had to reassure Bobby a hundred times that he should go do what he needed to do. And then reassure him another hundred times that I didn't need a baby-sitter." Julie shook her head. "I'll be seventeen in less than two months."

Dean smiled, seemingly happier. "Good for Bobby. He's just looking out for you like he should."

Julie gave him an unimpressed look. "I'm going to college in like a year. What's he going to do then?"

Dean flinched like she'd hit him. He drained the last of his beer and tossed his last few fries in his mouth, before wiping his hands on his faded jeans and jumping off the car.

"We should get going. The sun's gonna be down soon, and I should get you home and tucked in before then."

But Julie stayed put. Dean walked up to the passenger side and reached toward her as though he was going to help her down. But Julie batted his hands away and swung her legs over the side of the car so she was facing him.

"Dean." Her voice was soft, but sure. "Where are Sam and John?"

Dean turned his head away to look out across the river. She watched his profile and couldn't help but get momentarily caught up in the beauty of it. She'd seen Dean be cocky and flirty around waitresses and other young, female hunters. She knew he was aware that he could charm most women off their feet, but she was pretty sure he was unaware of just how incredibly beautiful he really was.

He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes and Julie instinctively took hold of his hand, squeezing reassuringly.

"Sam left."

Julie nodded having thought it might be something like that. She knew Sam was desperate to go to school and Dean's reaction to her mention of going to college had made it pretty easy to guess.

"He got into Stanford. Full ride. He was so excited." Dean sounded proud and heartbroken. Julie brought her other hand up to rub gently across the back of Dean's knuckles. She didn't know what else to do.

"Well," she said tentatively, "I know it's hard and you'll miss him. But there's holidays and summers, he'll come to visit, or you can go see him on some...weekends..." she trailed off as Dean shook his head, lowering it to stare at the ground. In that position Julie struggled a little to make out his expression in the dying light of the evening. His face seemed strained and tired.

"No. You don't understand. Dad wouldn't let him go. He forbid it. He told Sam..." he paused and took a deep breath, raising his head and looking at her fully. The look in his bright emerald eyes tore at Julie's heart and she would have done anything to erase it.

"He told him if he walked out the door, he shouldn't ever come back." Dean smiled without humor. "And of course Sam walked right out the door."

Dean pulled away from her, moving toward the fence that cordoned off the ravine. She hopped down and followed him.

Not sure it would be welcomed, she chanced wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him from behind, the sleeves of his big jacket trailing over her hands. He tensed, but he didn't push her away.

Eventually she moved to stand beside him and watched in silence as the trees by the riverside swayed in the westerly wind. She wanted to say more, wanted to fix it all for him somehow, but knew she couldn't so she just waited for him to say more if he wanted; she waited to listen and absorb some of his heartache if he chose to share it.

"I couldn't stop it this time." He said, voice barely audible above the wind. "I tried. They just wouldn't listen. Neither of them would hear me. They just kept yelling at each other, both of them, just ripping each other to shreds, like they were having a contest for which of 'em could be the bigger asshole to the other." He paused. "And I just couldn't make them listen."

Julie heard the guilt there and refused to let him take this on himself, he did that entirely too much. "Dean. Sam and John are two of the most stubborn men I've ever known. You couldn't have stopped them. But it's only a fight. Once they cool down..."

But Dean let out a huff and shook his head. "No. You didn't hear them, Jules. It was...awful."

She continued trying to persuade him that he couldn't have changed anything. "Look, no matter what you did or said, Sam was always going to go to school. And your dad was always going to forbid it. This was inevitable."

Julie decided to take Dean's silence for agreement although she wasn't entirely sure that it was. A thought occurred to her. "The tension must have been building quite a bit over the last while. Is that why you guys have stayed away? Too much drama?"

Dean smiled softly. "Partly. And partly, it really was the job." He ran a hand across his face. "It's just felt like never-ending evil this past year. We used to be able to take a couple days here and there, maybe even a couple weeks between jobs. But it's like the monsters are on a rampage lately."

His expression turned grim. "Which is another reason Dad was so against Sammy leaving. For one, we really do need his help. But mostly, it feels more dangerous than ever for him to go off on his own to the other side of the country. We've pissed off a lot of monsters and a fair few demons, especially over this last year. They're gonna want payback." He tried to hide it, but she could hear the note of terrible fear in his voice.

There was a pause and again Julie wanted to fill it, but she sensed Dean had something more to say. He kept taking a breath to say something and then just letting it slip out of his parted lips.

Finally he spoke, voice impossibly low and aimed at the ground. "I think...I think Sammy wanted me to go with him." He turned his head to look at her and she watched a tear well up and spill out of his left eye. "I think I let him down."

He wiped angrily at his cheek and walked back to the Impala. It was dusk now, the sun having just set, and he went over to the passenger side door and opened it. "We need to get you home, kid. It's late."

Julie complied, grabbing her shoes and shoving her now dirty socks back into them before climbing into the leather seat. Dean banged the door closed behind her.

As he started the car, Julie put a hand on his forearm to stop him from driving away.

"Did you want to go with him?" She asked.

Dean shrugged. "What would I do in California?"

"That's not what I asked." Julie said, holding firm.

Dean shrugged again and shook his head. "It doesn't matter what I wanted. I'm not gonna leave Dad all alone out here."

He put the Impala in gear and Julie moved her hand away, so sad for him and slightly angry at his unbending sense of loyalty. It was beautiful, but sometimes made his choices for his own life very narrow. He deserved to be happy too.

She silently agreed with Sam, that the boys deserved their own life and to make their own decisions. John's obsession for hunting was well known even to a semi-civilian like herself. But why did he have to force his sons to give up their lives to it too?

Maybe I just can't understand, Julie thought. After all, I've never lost the love of my life with no explanation, nothing left behind but fear and dread.

She had always liked John; he could be a little intimidating, but he'd always been kind to her. But it bothered her the way he was with Dean sometimes, so short and impatient. And he seemed to expect constant obedience from both his sons. She'd heard he was a Marine, so maybe that was where that attitude came from.

She was very happy Bobby had never been in the Marines, because the most surefire way to make her refuse to do something was to order her to do it.

Soon enough they pulled into Bobby's yard and the rumbling of the Impala went silent. She had so much she wanted to tell Dean. She wanted to reassure him again that Sam and John fighting was not his fault. She wanted to tell him he had the right to go to California, even if it was just to visit his brother.

But before she could say anything, they were met with the sight of both their fathers running out of the house toward the car.

Dean jumped out quickly and Julie followed, but slower.

"Dad!" Dean said, surprise evident. "What are you doing here?"

John barreled at him, crowding him back against the hood. "What am I doing here? What the fuck are you doing here? You just left the motel, no note, nothing. I thought you were..." John stopped, closing his eyes, his breathing shallow and rapid. Julie recognized his intense fear.

Dean shook his head. "I did leave a note. On the stationery in the room. On the desk. I said I was coming to Bobby's." He spoke quickly, his voice strained, as though he was desperate to be believed.

John gritted his teeth. "Well, it fell off the desk then. Because there was nothing there. I've been calling you for almost four hours. Why didn't you answer?"

Dean frowned, puzzled as he pulled his phone out of his jeans pocket and flipped it open. He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Shit, it's dead. I'm sorry, I didn't notice."

John grabbed hold of Dean's shoulders and shook him. "You're sorry! Jesus Christ, Dean. You were out running around, with no way to call for help! What if something had happened? You had Julie with you for Christ's sake! You put her in danger too!"

Julie watched Dean's face go completely white and she wanted to kick John in the shin. They hadn't been in any danger, they were never more than ten steps from the Impala and a trunk full of weapons. He was making Dean feel terrible for nothing.

Seeming to feel the same, Bobby moved forward. "Alright, alright, John. No need to keep worrying. They're here now, they're safe."

"That's not the point." John said, finally pushing away from Dean and running a hand through his hair.

Dean's voice was hoarse when he spoke, turning pleading, guilty eyes on Bobby. "God, Bobby, I'm so sorry. I didn't think..." He closed his eyes. "I didn't think." he said, coming to his father's conclusion.

But Bobby shook his head. "It's fine, son. It was an honest accident." He looked at Julie. "But we're gonna get you one of those damn phones too, then between the two of you, someone will have one working."

"I'm sorry, too Bobby. I didn't know you'd be home." Julie said, hoping Bobby hadn't been too scared.

But he shook his head again and patted her cheek. "Don't worry about it, darlin'. I came home early. You couldn't have known."

John turned back to the group, having gained some control. He wasn't yelling anymore anyway. "We gotta go. Say goodbye, Dean." He said.

"But, couldn't we..." Dean began but stopped when John glared at him.

John may not have been yelling, but his voice was hard and angry as he growled at Dean. "Get in your damn car and follow me."

Julie could see a momentary war within Dean. She could see how much he wanted to argue the point to stay, at least the night. There was no reason not to, they were just going to hole up at some motel for the night. She doubted they were needed immediately on a hunt.

Dean's jaw clenched and his fists opened and closed as though fighting the urge to punch something. But in the end, he took a deep breath and nodded tersely.

"Yes, sir."

Julie glared at John and didn't stop when he turned to her and Bobby to nod his farewell. If he noticed her anger, he didn't react. He simply got in his truck, knowing Dean would be following.

Dean turned to them. Julie started to shrug out of his jacket so she could give it back to him, but he waved his hand at her and shook his head.

"No, keep it. You'll freeze." He pulled on the long dangling sleeve, reeling her into his arms to give her a hug. "I'm sorry, kid. I never meant to..."

Julie cut him off. "You have nothing to be sorry for." Julie assured him, knowing he would never believe her. The best she could do was just squeeze him back extra tight. "Come back soon, okay? No staying away for a year!"

He nodded and leaned down to kiss the top of her head. Then he pulled away and shook Bobby's hand as John honked at him.

"See ya, Bobby." Dean said before trotting back to the Impala.

The car roared to life and Dean revved the engine, giving over some of his frustration to his beloved baby, Julie thought, before he followed through the dust cloud that John kicked up ahead of him.

Julie stood waving after him, long past when he could see her, she was sure. It had been so long since she'd seen him, and she had no idea how long it would be 'til she saw him again. She wrapped his jacket more tightly around her, as Bobby steered her back to the house, asking if she'd eaten.

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm good, Bobby. I think I'm just gonna go to bed, if that's okay." She could feel some tears forming and she wanted to be alone to shed them.

"Of course, kid. Have a good sleep."

She reached up and kissed Bobby's whiskery cheek before racing off to her room.

She climbed into her bed fully clothed, Dean's denim jacket still wrapped around her like a blanket. She pulled down her silver talisman and squeezed it. Using it like a rosary, she said a prayer on it that he wouldn't stay away as long next time.

He didn't. He stayed away longer.

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liron-ao3 · 2 years

Text

Of first dates and fevering babies

Castiel stares at Dean's hand lying so close to his own on the table between them. It's been a perfect date, and all he wants to do is to weave his fingers through Dean's, to feel the current flow of a new love's touch. But he's a coward, so he dips his spoon into the panna cotta and takes another look at the beautiful man opposite him.

Castiel still can't believe that he dared ask Dean out. Yes, there had been alcohol involved and a mingling Charlie. Castiel had had a crush on Dean for several years now, their paths crossing, again and again, through mutual friends. And Dean had beamed at him as he agreed. He was so gracious around the whole thing, took Castiel's nervousness in stride.

The evening went great, really. Dean only looked at his phone every 30 minutes or so. Castiel truly had worse dates than this one, so much worse.

Dean is funny, has a big heart, a gorgeous smile, and is handsome. He's way out of Castiel's league. At least, Castiel thinks so.

He knows how this evening is going to end. 'I had a really great time, buddy,' Dean will say. Maybe he'll hug him, and as long as it'll last, Castiel will wonder if he's pressing too close or not close enough for it to be platonically neutral. Or maybe, Dean will make a move. He seems to enjoy his company.

No guts, no glory. That's what Kelly said when Castiel nearly copped out, five hours ago. And when did she ever give bad advice? Never. He just needs to be brave. What is the worst that could happen? Dean pulling back? Sure, it would be awkward for a moment. Then, Castiel would laugh it off, and they would go their separate ways. He'll do it. Any second now. His fingers twitch as they run over the tablecloth.

A buzzing sound interrupts his hand's journey as Dean's disappears into the pocket of his jeans.

"Hey, what's up?" Dean hums into his phone, his forehead wrinkling in a proper display of concern. "How high?" He looks up at Castiel as he listens to the man on the other side of the phone call. "No, you're right. I'm back in a few. Thanks, Sammy."

Dean hangs up and looks at Castiel in a way his date can't read. "Is everything okay?" he asks.

Dean chews his lip. "No. I'm sorry. I gotta go."

Castiel nods in understanding. He's glad that he didn't get to touch Dean's hand after all. This is humiliating enough as it is.

"I'm really sorry," Dean says. "I had a great time. But there's an emergency at home, and…"

Castiel raises his hands to stop him. "You don't have to make up an emergency to get out of this date, Dean. I'm grown up. Just leave, I'll take care of the bill. No hard feelings."

Dean's mouth falls open. Even like this, he's handsome. Castiel wishes he had never asked him out. He truly thought they'd be on the path to something nice. Dean was kind enough to let him down gently. But Castiel isn't a wallflower. He doesn't need to be put in cotton wool.

"No, that's not… I had a great time, Cass." Dean grabs his hand. Castiel startles, staring back at his date in confusion. "I really have an emergency at home. This was my brother. He's…" Dean breathes a sigh and runs his free hand over his face. "He's sitting my daughter."

Castiel's mouth falls open in surprise. Dean pulls his hand away but Castiel doesn't let go. "You have a kid?"

Dean nods. "Emma. She's eighteen months old."

"Why… why didn't you tell me that you're a father?"

Dean stares at their joint hands, working his jaw. "People don't like the idea of dating a single father. And when you asked me out— I didn't want to blow it. It was stupid. Sorry. I just wanted to pretend that I could have this. An evening with a stunning man, no diaper talk or pity or…"

"Why would I pity you, Dean?"

Dean laughs without mirth. "Because…" He pushes his jaw forward. "It's… I gotta go." He gets up from his seat and goes straight for his purse.

"I asked you out, Dean. I pay."

"I misled you. I should," Dean protests, already slipping in his jacket.

Castiel waves at the waitress. "Where did you mislead me, Dean? Did you fake anything tonight?" Castiel is surprised how calm he sounds because he feels anything but. This was the best date he had in years, and if it was all a big joke to Dean, then…

"I didn't tell you about Emma. And she's such an important part of my life. She wasn't planned, but I love her so much, and now she has a fever, and I… She never had one before. Sammy already gave her meds but…"

Castiel puts money on the table, including a generous tip, and grabs Dean's hand. "I'll drive you home. Come on. I know a few things about lowering fevers."

Dean allows to be dragged outside, a frown deeply forged into his features. Castiel only lets go of him to open his car, and that's when Dean's brain goes fully online again.

"Since when are you a nurse?"

Castiel chuckles. "My godson runs a fever ever so often. Kelly lives next door and is a single mother. I often come over and support her when Jack is ill or she's simply tired to death. I've run paths into her carpet with Jacky in a sling when he was a baby. And my cold compresses are legendary."

Castiel stops his rambling and his attempt to get the key into the lock when he sees the look on Dean's face. It's awestruck, and Castiel takes a deep breath to process. He shouldn't have gotten ahead of himself. This was their first date, and Dean's daughter is sick. All she needs is her daddy and some ibuprofen, not a stranger.

"Sorry, I didn't even ask you if you wanted me to come with you. I shouldn't have assumed..."

Dean chuckles. "No… it sounds great. At least someone knows what he's doing."

Castiel looks at him with tender eyes. "I'm sure you're a great dad."

Dean bites the inside of his cheek to suppress a grin. "And I'm sure you'll be a great dad, too."

Castiel smiles at him shyly. "Who knows? I hope, one day, I will. With the right person." He shrugs, feeling a blush warming his cheeks.

Dean nods and steps closer. He cups Castiel's face and runs his thumbs over his cheeks. "Yeah," he breathes and kisses him.

Castiel's knees give out and he slumps against his car, but Dean's body pressing him into it keeps him upright. The kiss ends way too soon, though. Dean clears his throat. Castiel knows what that means.

"I really need to get to Emma," Dean says. Castiel just nods, too busy catching up on what just happened. "Anything special we need for cold compresses?" Dean asks.

Castiel stares at Dean for a long moment before he swallows hard. "Do… do you have bandages or a sponge?" Dean nods. "Good. I'm sure we'll get her fever down in no time." He squeezes Dean's shoulder. "Come on. She'll need you."

Dean chuckles. "Yes," he says and presses another kiss to Castiel's lips.

Dean looks damn perfect in the Lincoln's passenger seat. Castiel can't help but look at the back of his car where Jack's kiddy seat is strapped in. If he daydreams of him and Emma both sitting there, singing 'Baby shark' together, no one needs to know.

~~~~~

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#destiel month #single father dean winchester #first date #sick kid #deancas fluff #destiel fluff #Destiel #Deancas #Destiel fandom #Deancas fandom #Destiel fic #Deancas fic #Destiel fanfic #Deancas fanfic #Destiel fanfiction #Deancas fanfiction #Destiel oneshot #Deancas oneshot

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chocolatecakecas · 3 years

Text

Rockin' the Suburbs: Chapter 4

chp1 chp2 chp3 or read on ao3

After an afternoon of failed research attempts, Dean found himself carrying an excited Jack in his arms, walking up the sidewalk, hand in hand with Cas. Which didn't immediately send Dean's mind running wild because it honestly was starting to feel natural. Which of course is what sent Dean's mind running, but at least the act of Cas grabbing his hand wasn't the real source of the freak out anymore.

Dean's fine by the way. Totally cool and normal and under control.

"You ready?" Dean asks as they come to a stop at the back gate.

"As I'll ever be" Cas quips, giving Dean's hand a squeeze, which he gratefully returns.

"Holy shit" Dean gasps, jaw-dropping, head quickly snapping towards Cas.

"I agree completely...." Cas trails off, as he drags Dean further into the backyard.

There were people, food, drinks, tents, music blasting, and lights strung up everywhere. And a giant fire pit in the center, with crowds of people hovering around it, roasting marshmallows and hotdogs.

How many people lived in this damn neighborhood?

"So see any fugly faces?"

"If you're talking about demons, then no-"

"Well, what about that lad-"

"No she's no-"

"What about that group, those guys seem kinda-"

"No Dea-"

"Okay well, what about th-"

"Dean if I see a demon I'll be sure to let you know, promptly" Cas sighs, clearly exasperated, which only causes Dean to smile wider.

(read the rest under the cut)

"Okay.....but what abo-"

"Hi guys! Oh my god, we're so glad you decided to come!"

Their heads snap over to see Molly and Jason making their way towards them.

"Time to schmooze with the capitalists" Dean whispers to Cas, earning an elbow jack to the rib, but when he looks over, he sees amusement in Cas' eyes.

"Your home is lovely" Cas gushes when they're within earshot.

"Yeah, this is quite the rager you've got going on back here" Dean muses, earning bright smiles from the pair.

"Thank you! But Amanda's already managed to find at least ten things wrong with the decor, or the lights, or the food" Molly grumbles, as Jason gently rests his arm around her waist.

"Seriously, and Bill picked up every bottle of wine and inspected the year. As if these people aren't drunk enough to even care about the aged taste" Jason continues with an eye roll.

"Oh! Speaking of drinks what can we get you? We've got beer, wine from the wrong years, whiskey, scotch? You name it we've got it"

Shit. Dean hasn't had to talk about this with anyone outside of his family, but his dumbass should have thought about it. He is a party after all.

"Oh um..." Dean starts, but trails off realizing he didn't actually think through what he was going to say. His mouth has been doing that a lot lately.

"Oh we actually don-"Cas rushes in, giving Dean's hand a squeeze, which makes Dean's breath hitch.

Dean was floundering like an idiot and Cas cut in to help. That stupid, undiscussed swirling feeling dancing in his stomach, and he also can't help the dopey grin that spreads across his lips.

"I actually don't drink anymore, not since this little bug came around. But Cas here will definitely take a beer" Dean smiles, giving Jack a little bounce in his arms.

"Dean are you sur-"

"Yeah babe, it's good. I promise. Have a beer, you dork" Dean says turning to fully look at Cas so he gets that he means it. And he must because Cas gives a small smile back, which definitely doesn't make his stomach flip.

They turn back to the pair, praying they get the memo so Dean doesn't have to explain any further.

"Oh! So we have water, seltzer soda. We've got sprite, rootbeer-" Molly quickly moves to offer.

"A coke is good if you have it" Dean interrupts before Molly lists every single brand of soda they've got. And with a nod, Jason jogs off to get their drinks.

"Oh! Jack's probably itching to play with the rest of the kids. There's a whole section set up on the far side of a yard, keeping them far away from that fire pit! But don't worry, a handful of the parents are taking shifts" Molly rushes to add, as she points them in the right direction.

The two turn to follow her finger, Dean's eyes blowing wide at the sight. Four different size bounce houses, two jungle gyms, a huge sandbox, and pretty much every toy you can imagine. And yeah there's things definitely for toddlers, but Dean can only focus on the height of the slides and the amount of kids jumping inside that inflatable nightmare.

His hold only tightens around Jack, as he glances down hurriedly at Cas. But to his surprise Cas isn't gazing horrified at kid-sized deathtraps, he's smiling brightly, eyes shining.

Dean's gotta put his foot down. There's no way, it's too dangerous

"I don't know Jack's neve-"

"Exactly, why he should. There is more than enough equipment his size, and looks like there's plenty of kids around his age. And we both agreed it would be good for him to play with more children his own age, remember?" Cas supplies calmly, resting a hand over his shoulder. The heat radiating through Dean's jacket is doing nothing to put him at ease.

"Yeah but that fire-"

"Is perfectly safe. See, there's at least six parents over there right now. We can even take a shift watching the kids soon if you'd like?" Cas offers in the same tone, eyes shining with sincerity. And Dean manages to pull his gaze away long enough to glance over at the kids' party zone again.

There's a sort of gate squared off in the corner of the yard, with a large and small bouncy house, and what looks like a group of parents watching every move intently.

Cas is right. Jack will be fine. Of course, he will be. And if he's not, they'll just kill whoever's responsible. Stupid angels and their stupid sound logic.

"Alright, you're right" Dean sighs in defeat, as he gears up to walk across the yard. Besides Dean can probably use this as a chance to talk to some of the other paren-

And it happens so fast Dean almost misses it.

But he sure as hell feels it.

There's a heat on his cheek that quickly comes and goes, but there's a lingering warmth that blossoms in its place, spreading across his entire face and down his neck. Lighting shooting through his veins with a jolt, and of course that swirling feeling is back.

What the hell?

Dean's slowly turns towards the source and sees Cas smiling up at him. There's a nervousness dancing behind his features, the kind that's only visible to the trained eye. His hand his still on his shoulder, but he's closer now-wait.

Dean's entire brain short circuits as it works to catch up with the rest of his body, most importantly with his face and that whole lightning thing going on.

Then his brain finally snaps back into action, sending his stomach flipping, that swirling thing looping right along with it.

Because Cas kissed him.

Cas kissed him. On the cheek. Like it was nothing.

And the culprit refocuses in his vision, still smiling up at him anxiously, blue eyes searching his features. And Dean without even thinking, smiles back, which seems to settle Cas.

"I'm very proud of you for making the mature fatherly decision, now go! I'm sure Jack's dying for a turn on that bouncy thing" Cas teases, shoving Dean away, and he vaguely hears Molly giggling behind him. Dean doesn't even have time to process what he said before he's walking across the grass.

Actually, Dean isn't processing anything at the moment.

Because Cas just kissed him on the cheek like it was nothing, and Dean's face is on fire while his heart does its damnedest to pound its way out of his chest. Because now Dean Winchester is having a flustered meltdown over a friggin kiss on the cheek like he's thirteen again?

But it was more than that. Because he sure as hell didn't think Cas would go for it first so what i-

Dean almost stalls, but quickly forces his feet to keep moving as his stomach twists.

Because that feeling, the feeling Dean doesn't talk about is swirling in his stomach, bubbling upwards, trying t-nope.

Dean clenches the hand, that isn't currently supporting Jack, into a fist, nails digging into his palm. It was just a peck on the cheek it didn't mean shit. They had talked all about PDA, and both agreed to it, so that's all it was. It was a kiss for the sake of the case, all for the act.

So Dean tries to shove it from his mind, but failing to get rid of the warmth still radiating through his body and the tingling on his cheek. But hey, he isn't perfect.

He thankfully makes it over to the kid's section in one piece, but unfortunately, an over-excited mom immediately spots him.

"Hi I'm Maria, I don't recognize you, so must be one of our new neighbors!" Maria practically cheers, and Dean doesn't buy her false enthusiasm for a second, but he plasters a smile on his face ready to play the part.

"Yeah I'm-"

"I spotted you and your husband carrying boxes in yesterday! Didn't look like you had very much hmm?" Maria continues as if she hadn't heard him. And Dean didn't miss that little dig and he definitely didn't miss the way she emphasized husband.

"Yup that's me, Dean Richardson, and this is my son Jack" Dean says before she has a chance to cut him off again.

"Pleasure to meet you two! Now I assure you Jack is in good hands, you've got some of the best parents on duty right now!" Maria jokes and Dean has a feeling she's a little tipsy, which only increases his nerves. At least there's some other capable-looking parents standing around.

Maria continues to chatter loudly about god knows what, so he ignores her opting to carefully stand Jack on the ground, crouching to his level.

"Alright Squish, you're gonna hang out over here and have some fun with the rest of the kids! Me and your Dad are going to be right over there" Dean says excitedly, which only makes Jack even more excited.

"So if you need us, you tell one of the other grown-ups, and we'll come right over. And remember the rules kiddo? No mojo, capiche?" Dean reminds, whispering the last part.

"Capeesh!" Jack promises and Dean can't help but smile. So reluctantly, he presses a kiss to Jack's hair, and gently nudges him towards the other kids, watching as he runs away laughing.

"He's such a little cutie! Oh look he's playing with my Ella" Maria gushes while Dean silently prays Jack will drop that kid so he doesn't have to Maria and her false sweetness, ever again.

"Yeah, adorable. Anyway, my husband and I will gladly take a shift watching the little rugrats a-"Dean starts trying his best to sound like he doesn't want to strangle her.

"Oh no I wouldn't dream of it! It's your first party in the neighborhood, we have more than enough capable parents on duty tonight! Get back to your husband, drink, mingle!" Maria interrupts shoving him away, and Dean has no choice but to obey, unless he wanted to cause a scene. Which he did want to, because he was practically fuming from that subtle dig at capabilities at a parent, but he couldn't he had the damn case to think about.

And with a final glance to assure Jack was okay, Dean quickly surveys the crowd, easily spotting Cas' leather. He begins to make his way over, but suddenly the memories from five minutes ago come rushing back leaving him frozen.

Cas had kissed him-yeah it was on the cheek, but it was a kiss nonetheless. And that stupid swirling feeling began to bubble up in his stomach, unable to move as the-

"Dean, over here man!" Jason calls from across the yard, effectively kicking Dean's back into gear, as he made his way over to them.

Stuff it Winchester, focus on the case. It's all for the case.

So Dean jogs, over stopping next to Cas, who was lightly laughing along with Jason and Molly. Jason hands him a bottle, an honest-to-god glass bottle of Coke. They probably had to buy hundreds of these, must have cost a fortune.

"Is Jack all settled?" Cas asks, the slight worry on his face. And so without thinking, Dean takes his hand giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Yeah babe, kiddo is having the time of his life over there," Dean says with a sweet smile, pet name rolling off his tongue like nothing as he meets his eyes. Cas only responds with a smug smirk that says "I told you so", which definitely didn't make Dean's stomach flip.

"So, new neighbors let's get the good gossip out of the way before the bitch squad corners us. Tell us about yourselves! What do you guys do for a living?" Molly teases, effectively snapping them out of their staring contest.

Showtime

"Well I'm a mechanic, still looking for a good space in the area to set up shop, but Cas here is all set with a position at Amherst College in the sprin-" Dean begins, gushing about Cas like a proud husband.

"Dean, of course, is wildly underselling himself. He specializes in classic car restoration" Cas cuts in also like a proud husband, but there's a hint of sincerity in his voice that twists Dean's heart.

"Wow! So that gorgeous Impala really is your's after all?" Molly asks in awe.

"Yeah that's my Baby, rebuilt her after a crash a while back, she's been in the family for years" Dean shrugs, hand instinctively reaching for the back of his neck, but he can't help the little sense of pride that swells in his chest. He feels Cas squeeze his hand, but before he can glance over Jason starts talking.

"And Cas, Amherst that's impressive! What course do you teach?"

"English literature, and global history" Cas answers. They decided to tack on the history on account of Cas knowing pretty much all of history, and that it might be an in seeing as weirdo rich people are often weirdo history buffs.

"Oh I actually teach history over at the high school" Jason reveals, and Dean has to hold back a laugh.

Weirdo rich people, weirdo history buffs. Score.

"Well looks like we're surrounded by academics! Amherst, an incredible school, but that's a bit of a commute from here, isn't it?

"Oh it's not too bad, and the drive is all worth it if we get to live in this beautiful neighborhood. But what about you, Molly?" Cas deflects smoothly shooting them a charming smile-that Dean definitely didn't find charming.

"Oh, I'm a real estate lawyer. That's how we're in this gorgeous neighborhood" Molly jokes, Jason laughing along.

Real estate law, Dean tucks away that info for later because maybe that's how they got their house on the market and sold so quickly.

"Hey everyone, sorry to interrupt but we just wanted to introduce ourselves to the new neighbors," A shorter man says as he appears on the other side of Cas, with another man in tow.

"Oh come join the real party, anything to stay away from those vultures" Molly snorts with an eye roll, earning a laugh from everyone.

"I'm Tom, and this is my husband Stephen" The man, Tom, supplies as they each stretch out a hand. Dean reluctantly lets go of Cas' hand, and as they each shake their's, exchanging greetings.

Turns out Tom and Stephen live right across the street from them. Great, they're gonna have to get in extra good with them, because they might have seen something the night of the murders.

"So, we were giving these two the rundown on our lives, before Amanda and Bill start circling" Molly groans, and Tom and Stephen launch into discussing what they do for a living. Dean, of course, listens very intently, as he tries not to think about the sudden loss of warmth in his hand.

But he really doesn't have to think too long because he finds Cas' arm is curling around friggin waist.

Dean's eyes instantly snap up, as he tries to keep his expressions in check, but he can feel the heat creeping over his cheeks. Cas only gives him a nervous look, which makes Dean's chest tighten at the sight. Damnit.

Because yeah Cas keeps taking the lead, but he's never actually done this before, he's just doing what he thinks he should do. Cas must be anxious as fuck. And Dean's general "lets never talk about emotion or affection" attitude, probably isn't helping. He's the one who knows what to do, he should be helping ease Cas into this more, not having breakdowns every time they make eye contact.

So without really thinking, Dean slightly leans into Cas, causing him to wrap his arm around him tighter. It clearly settles Cas' nerves, because that worried look is gone, replaced with a smile, before he turns his head back to the conversation.

And Dean figures since Cas is listening, it's okay to tap out for a moment. Because excuse him, but Cas' arm is around his fucking waist, not even 20 minutes after he kissed him. Dean's just surprised he isn't passed out on the ground yet.

And that feeling-the feeling Dean of course doesn't talk-about is back and swirling around his stomach, threatening to bubble up his throat. It's making him feel nauseous, as his heart thumps against his chest.

But he can't exactly bring himself to care because there's a warmth washing over his body in waves. The heat of Cas' arm around his waist and shoulder resting against his own, radiates through his jacket. Dean can smell the worn leather mixing with Cas' cologne as he tries to focus back in on the conversation-what is he doing.

He's supposed to be getting info about the neighbors, and all he can think about is Cas' arm around his waist. Which is only there to keep up the act, and it doesn't matter that it fee-nope not even gonna go there.

Focus Winchester.

"-but enough about work, how did you two meet?" Dean catches Molly asking, and thank god he chose that moment to pull it together.

So Dean quickly meets Cas' eye. Both knowing they have to nail this part if they plan to gain anyone's trust. They hadn't exactly rehearsed it, but they are best friends who've spent over a decade lying for a living. They've got this.

Dean takes a steadying breath, ignoring the swirling and the warmth and the heart rate.

"Well, it was back in 2008. I was sort of going through a bit of a rough patch at work and was frequenting the local bar a bit too much. But maybe the hangovers were worth it, because one night this guy with wild hair and baby blues strolled in and happened to sit at the other end of the bar. And just my luck he looked about just as much of a mess as I did-no offense babe" Dean began putting on a show, and Cas rolled his eyes.

"Oh please, you didn't look half the mess that I did" Cas teases dramatically. Cas then gave him a look, leveling Dean with an arched eyebrow, causing laughter to bubble around them.

"Yeah yeah Casanova, we both looked a wreck okay? So much of a wreck that we apparently felt so sorry for each other, that we unknowingly bought one another a drink"

"After the bartender pointed out who bought me the beer, I looked up to see it was the person I had just bought a drink. So I figured he was worth a little conversation, and I moved to sit on the stool next to him" Cas continues, throwing a wink at Dean.

Damn they were good at this.

"And it turned out we were both walking disasters. I was out of a job, and Cas here had just gone through the world's worst breakup-"

"We had been together for years, and I had decided I'd had it. It was a mess, his whole family got involved. But I guess it was a good thing it was such a disaster, or I never would have gotten a drink from the gorgeous man at the end of the bar" Cas cuts back in, which definitely didn't make Dean's cheeks flare.

"Anyway, we got to talking, probably overshared way too much with a complete stranger, and called it a night. But I thought I'd be crazy to let him get away, so I practically chased him down on the street to get his number. And god was I lucky he didn't think I was a creep-"

"Actually I thought it was very romantic. Like a movie, too bad it wasn't raining. But honestly, I was just lucky he didn't think I was a creep when I called to ask him on a date the next morning" Cas jokes, earning another laugh from the group. Dean quickly surveys their faces to see that they're hooked. Time for the grande finale.

"And really the rest is history, we just sorta clicked. It sounds like bullshit, but it was like we were made for each other ya know? Cas just always knew what to say, always knew what to do to, understands me better than anyone else, helps me through every obstacle. I guess you could say he basically pulled me out of hell. And he still does, every day. There's no one else in the world I'd rather have by my side" Dean gushes, tacking on the hell line as a joke, but it didn't exactly sound like one. No, it sounded like the most sincere thing Dean's ever said, and he quickly realizes that it's not part of the act. He really means it.

He glances back over at Cas to see him slightly slack-jawed, gazing at him in soft wonder. Dean's heart picks up again, stomach swirling as he makes a little fist to ground himself.

Because of course, he means it Cas is his best friend, he's family that's nothing new. But it's more than that and yo-nope. Focus. Cas is only looking at him like that as part of the act, he's playing up.

Dean quickly tries to wrack his brain for something to say, but thankfully Molly cuts in.

"God aren't you two just the cutest, sappiest couple in the entire world! Oh my god, you're like a romcom. The perfect couple" Molly practically shouts earning a laugh from everyone and nods of agreement.

"Trust me, it wasn't as simple as a romcom. We fight, and we scream, but we always come back to each other" Cas says earnestly, looking right into Dean's eyes.

And Dean's pretty sure his heart is gonna burst through his chest because Cas' heart eyes look pretty damn convincing and it's sending his thoughts running. But thankfully, Tom and Stephen start telling the story of how they met, so Dean can thankfully push those thoughts aside. For now.

And after an hour of small talk, Dean and Cas have got a pretty good grasp on the people they're dealing with.

They learn that Stephen and Tom are both doctors at the same hospital, they have three-year-old daughter named Elizabeth. And with a glance over at the kids' section, they see that she and Jack are playing together. Another couple, Emma and Rachel come and join them all about halfway through. Emma is a cardiologist, and Rachel is a biomedical engineer, and they're in the process of adopting. They also learn that this entire week is the "Annual Autumn Festival", and there's a different event hosted by a different family each night, ending with a huge block party on Saturday night. Apparently, the school in town gives the kids a whole week off for some "district convention" with the higher ups, so they've been doing this for years.

And honestly, despite everything, Dean's actually having a good time. Yeah, these people's careers are insane, but Dean thinks they're pretty normal, and he's genuinely enjoying talking to them. And they seem to have warmed up to them, so with a slight nod from Cas, Dean goes in for the kill.

"So, we have to ask. We saw some crazy stuff in the news about this neighborhood, of course, it was after we bought the place. But we couldn't find much info about it" Dean begins gently to ease them into the conversation.

"Oh you must be talking about Carol and Mike" Rachel supplies with a frown, and a silence settles over the group.

"We're sorry, we didn't mean to pry. We were just curious sin-"Cas begins to apologize

"No, it's okay. You've got a right to know since it is about your house and all. Not your fault someone paid to keep it out of the news" Ton sighs heavily, and Stephen comfortingly presses his kiss to his temple.

"Carol and Mike were our best friends before they we-before everything" Stephen chokes out.

"We're so sorry for your loss" Dean offers, Cas nodding along.

"The night it happened, we were actually all supposed to go out to dinner. The four of us and the kids, it's a monthy tradition. But when we walked across the street to meet them, Carol answered. We should have known something was off bu-"

"Hello! I'm seeing frowns which is never a sign of a good party!" A shrill voice calls, which earns a groan from the group.

Damnit. They were so close.

Suddenly there's a shorter woman with platinum blonde hair, and a man with enough goop in his hair to grease a pan, who've both clearly had some work done.

"Hi I'm Amanda, and this is my husband Bill. You two must be our new neighbors" Amanda smiles with her too-white teeth, extending a hand with perfectly manicured nails. Of course, they are.

Dean resists the urge to roll his eyes, but with a squeeze on his side from Cas, he's reaching out his hand to shake theirs'.

"Bill, a pleasure to meet you! Nice to see you've already found your people. I know how you guys like to group up" Bill laughs with an equally blinding, white smile.

A pit drops in Dean's stomach. "Your people", who does this guy think he is? And these aren't Dean's people he's stra-

Give it a rest Winchester, you can only lie to yourself about so many things at once.

Fine so maybe they are "Dean's people", but this homophobic assclown has no right to say it, especially not like that.

"Well, not as much as your people lik-"Dean starts, only to be cut off by a pinch to his side and he whips his head towards Cas.

"Just let it go, he isn't worth it" Cas softly whispers in his ear, while he gently pulls him closer. With a huff, Dean begrudgingly lets it go.

He turns back to the conversation to see Bill and Amanda completely ignoring them, as they ramble on about nonsense. Dean quickly locks eyes with each couple, they throw him an eye roll, or a face when Amanda and Bill aren't looking.

"Oh Amanda and Bill, looks like you found the new neighbors" Molly calls slightly strained as she and Jason practically run back over.

"Yes, but sadly we don't have much time to chat with them tonight. There are still some people we must say hello to" Amanda informs, and honestly, Dean could cheer from relief.

"But you two must stop by sometime this week so we can get you properly acquainted with the neighborhood. Maybe widen the variety of your social groups" Bill snarks and Dean opens his mouth to retort but is silenced by a sharp tug from Cas.

"Thank you for the offer, bu-" Cas answers cooly before Dean even thinks about reopening his mouth.

"Perfect! Stop by Tuesday around two, we'll have lunch! But like I said we must be going, try to have a pleasant evening. Oh and Molly, that chicken looked a bit dry, might want to check on that" Amanda proclaims, and then she and Bill are disappearing into the crowd.

Dean turns to glare at Cas, who only gives him a look that reads "we'll talk about it later".

"I'm so sorry you got trapped by them. God, they're the fucking worst" Molly groans in apology

"Yeah can't argue with that" Dean grits out, still fuming from Bill's words and Amanda's stupid smirk.

"And Bill's such a homophobic bastard, thinks he's so subtle. God, what I'd give to shove a-" Emma rants, only to be cut off by a gentle shove from her wife.

"We can try to get you out of the lunch with them, we can sa-"Jason offers, but Cas of all people shuts him down.

"It's okay, if we go once and make them hate us, maybe they'll never bother us again. Oh and I'm sorry, but we really better get going. It's almost Jack's bedtime. Thank you for everything" Cas explains with a smile, shooting a look at Dean.

"Yeah, this was a killer party. So great to meet you guys, hope we see you all soon!" Dean says plastering on a smile despite his bubbling anger.

And with quick goodbyes, Cas' arm unsnakes itself from around Dean's waist. But before he can mourn the loss, he feels his hand in his dragging him silently towards the kids' section. They scoop up an exhausted, but ecstatic Jack, and carefully avoid running into Maria, as they make their way through the gate.

Now that they're alone, walking down the cold, dark sidewalk, Dean can hold it in anymore.

"God we were so damn close then, Barbie and Ken had to show up and shut the whole thing down! And now you want us to have lunch with them?" Dean rages, pointedly ignoring the way Cas' hand that isn't holding a sleeping Jack, squeezes his own. And of course, the fact that they're still holding hands.

"I know they were dicks, but I noticed them circling us for at least ten minutes, and they only rushed over as soon as we started asking about the murders. Isn't that suspicious?" Cas questions.

"Yeah I guess, but wh-"

"So I think they might be the thing we're hunting. I only agreed to lunch so we could check them out, and scope out their house" Cas continues, amusement dancing in his voice

Of course. God, it's so obvious how could Dean miss it? This whole thing is really fucking with his head.

"Alright, no need to be smug about it. But I still don't understand why you wouldn't let me tear that assclown a new one" Dean grumbles, anger quickly returning as they climb their porch steps.

Cas sighs dropping his hand, turning to look at Dean fully. Dean's heart starts up, as Cas levels him with an intense, unreadable stare.

"Because he's just some rich, homophobic asshole, who believes he's better than everyone. But he's not, because he isn't even worth your energy or thought. He doesn't know anything about us" Cas speaks, softly, as he rests a hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean suddenly realizes they're standing almost nose to nose.

"And I certainly don't care what he thinks of me or you, and I certainly don't care what he thinks of us. Because all that matters is how we think about ourselves." Cas continues purposefully, and Dean's throat constricts at the words. Dean of course knows Cas is "indifferent to sexual orientation", but he doesn't know that he-wait is Cas-

"And besides, if he's the monster. We'll get to kill him, slowly" Cas says in a mock-serious tone, which startles a laugh from Dean's throat. He's so close he can feel Cas's breath on his face, and Cas can probably hear Dean's heart racing.

But thankfully the logical part of Dean's brain is still somewhat running because it reminds him that it's all for the act. "He doesn't know anything about us", Cas was talking about the act. These people don't know they're pretending.

Because none of this is rea-

And it happens so fast that Dean almost misses it, again. But now he's watching Cas' retreating form walk through the doorway, and up the stairs. Leaving Dean, standing alone in the cold night air, his hand moving to his cheek without consent.

Cas kissed him on the cheek, again.

But this time. Nobody was around. They were completely alone, nobody to put on an act for.

That swirling feeling his back and wreaking havoc on his stomach again, while that lightning thing courses through his veins, and his mind races a mile a minute.

Dean lets out a breath, aggressively running his hands through his hair, as he stares out onto the empty street.

Because what the fuck is happening.

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levithestripper · 3 years

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What Kind of Music Do the Scouts + Marley Warriors Listen to in the Car?

✩ Masterlist! ✩

✩ Taglist: @myglitteringstardust @alicchi @sleepysnk @waywardsongbird3 @aestosia✩

✩ If you want to be added to a taglist, fill this out! ✩

✩ Warnings: Modern AU! ✩

Eren listens to either rock music or whatever just happens to be on the radio at the time. I hate to be basic here but he listens to bands like The Beatles and Led Zeppelin, but he's not opposed to bands like Arctic Monkeys and The Cure. He's one of those guys that wear those low-cut underarm tank tops and bashes his head to the song while he's driving.

Armin, on the other hand, prefers softer pop songs like Ricky Montgomery and Lewis Capaldi. He likes to listen to the slow, sad songs that aren't totally straight forward with the message. Mostly so he can cry over them in the car when he's feeling down or depressed. He does that a lot.

Mikasa likes those classic sad emo girl songs like Paramore's 'Emergency' and 'Perfect' by Simple Plan. Eren makes fun of her for this like you have no idea. When they're in the car together, Eren skips all of the songs until he reaches the end of her playlist, switching over to his.

Jean likes heavy rock like Eren and soft emotional songs like Armin. This man has a playlist with such different genres of music on it that it'll give you whiplash. It'll go from Green Day, to Dear Evan Hansen, Hamilton, to All Time Low. Sometimes there's a few Disney classics thrown in there to spice it up. The first time you take a car ride with him, it freaks you out and simultaneously amuses you how one man could have so many music interests.

Connie likes rap music of any kind. He thinks he's the best shit since he can 'sing along' with it, but he can't. He just mumbles out a bunch of garbage that he pretends are the words. Don't tell him that though, because he'll either get defensive or he'll cry there's no in between.

Connie and Sasha may be best friends, but their tastes in music can't be more different. Sasha likes to listen to K-Pop and anime theme songs. No, there's no convincing her that they're all not as good as she thinks they are, just let her enjoy them.

Hange likes hard rock/screamo music. They'll blast Pierce the Veil out of their room at all hours of the day, making Levi lose his fucking mind. He'll knock on her door until she turns it down or until she opens the door for him and he marches inside to turn it down for them.

Erwin listens to Christian pop music. This is the hill I choose to die on. He unironically sings it in the car, the shower, the kitchen when he's cooking. Hange and Levi can't get away from it. They want to rip their ears off. Send help.

Levi, surprisingly enough, has the same/similar music tastes as Eren and Jean. He likes to sing along to Disney songs -especially the musicals- like The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, dare I say Frozen. He is a grown fucking man that listens to 'Love Is an Open Door' in the shower and sings along like a five-year-old hyped up on Pixy Stix's. Imagine this, you see him driving down the street and are stopped next to him at a traffic light. He rolls down his windows. You expect to hear heavy metal based on his appearance, but instead 'That's How You Know' from Enchanted blasts from his window.

Mike listens to dub-step. He hooks his phone up to his car and plays an hour long video of dub-step mix. He has a playlist of just dub-step remixes of songs and puts it on shuffle sometimes. He likes to be able to bob his head when he drives, at least now he doesn't look crazy.

Reiner is the king of crying himself to sleep with sad love songs. Lewis Capaldi, Adele, 'Be Alright' by Dean Lewis, the 'If I Die Young' cover by Michael Henry and Justin Robinett. Please get him therapy. Or a girlfriend. Both. Probably both. He sits in his car at night and plays them on repeat until he cries, it helps made him feel better.

Pieck is a basic bitch that likes the generic pop songs that air on the radio. She doesn't care what she listens to really, as long as the beat is nice she'll enjoy it. Whether it be Taylor Swift-esc songs or the occasional rap song, sometimes even Jason Derulo.

Porco likes to think hes all tough and manly by saying he listens to rap and hard rock, but in reality he likes 5 Seconds of Summer and All Time Low. He listens to the alternative channel (think Alt Nation on SiriusXM). He wants to be a drummer for a band at some point, so he's definitely that kid that taps his pencils against the desk or drums his fingers on his steering wheel.

Falco thinks he's cool because he listens to Alt music that the 'plebs' haven't listened to yet. He's that poser everyone has in their middle school classes that makes fun of people that are content with the music on the normal channels.

When I say Colt is a big softie, I mean he is a big softie. He and Armin like to take late night drives places, talking about nothing and everything which Ricky Montgomery playing in the background. They go and get McDonald's together and sit in the parking lot, chatting away until they realize it's three AM.

Annie actually really likes techno/electronic style songs. She's really picky about the ones she listens to though. Most of the time she dances to them though, or she jams out to them in the car if she's alone. But overall, she's not the biggest music fan.

Udo unapologetically enjoys folk/country music. Falco makes fun of him so much for it like that child is an asshole- Udo will be in his room and blast 'Black Lung' by The Dead South until Falco screams across the hall. He may be quiet, but he's 12 years old and an asshole.

Zofia likes Rihanna and Ariana Grande. She's actually respectful and puts in headphones when she listens to her playlist, unlike her two asshole neighbors.

Bertolt is a sweet boy that listens to mainstream pop music and video game songs. He likes to listen to the nature noises and background music of open world games, they help calm him down if his anxiety gets really bad, and they help him fall asleep. It's a big comfort/coping mechanism for him. He falls asleep with his earbuds in almost every night. This sweet boy. This sweet boy, just tuck him in and kiss his forehead when you put him to bed.

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rowyn-writes · 3 years

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Dying From a Broken Heart

Part Two of Confidence

Warnings: Violence, angst, language, arguing, blood, fluff

Pairings: Jack x Winchester!Reader

Characters: Jack Kline, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Rowena, Eros, Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: While you and Jack are at the motel, you make a shocking discovery. You're not dealing with a pack of werewolves like you thought, but Eros, God of Love and Lust. You finally figure out the connection between Eros and the victims. . . Only to find out that you're next.

You and Jack were still doing research when Sam and Dean came back. "Okay, so get this." You said, turning around in your chair. "Every year, six people go missing and are found dead with their hearts torn out."

"A ritual?" Sam inquired.

"Exactly what I was thinking, dear brother." You grinned. "Now, big city like this, six missing people is something you'd hardly notice."

"Yeah, but why would a werewolf preform a ritual?" Dean asked.

"That's what Jack and I kept asking ourselves." You said, looking over at your boyfriend. "Why in the world would a Purebred werewolf need to preform some kind of ritual?" You stood up, rummaging around in your backpack for a book. You gave a triumphant smile as you held up your Greek Mythology book.

"Eros. God of Love and Lust." You opened the book to the page that was dedicated to the god.

"But their hearts were torn out." Dean furrowed his eyebrows. "What would Eros want with hearts?"

"It's a sacrifice for him." You informed the men. "Think about it. None of the vics had bites or even scratches. At first, I thought it was a Purebred werewolf because the attacks didn't line up with the lunar cycle. But the more I thought about it, the more that this makes sense. People used to worship Eros and make sacrifices for him, but now hardly anyone believes in him anymore. So Eros goes out and gets his own sacrifices."

Sam and Dean seemed impressed while Jack seemed proud. "Okay." Dean nodded. "That means that since he failed with the last victim, he's going kill again."

You tried your hardest to think of some kind of connection with all the deceased. You knew there had to be something in common since they were dealing with a god. They seemed to be picky with their sacrifices.

"What are you thinking about, Y/n?" Jack asked, resting his hand on top of yours, something that didn't go unnoticed by your brothers. Dean was about to say something when Sam stomped on his foot, earning a grunt from Dean.

"I'm trying to find the connection between everyone. Because I know there has to be one." You picked at a tear in your jeans while you tried to connect the dots.

Then it hit you like a ton of bricks. You stood up abruptly, startling the men in the room. "I know what Eros looks in for a sacrifice." You stated, grabbing your notepad to look at the stuff you had written down. "Everyone we interviewed said the victims just had a big announcement. The 55 year old man was celebrating his 30th anniversary with his wife, the 28 year old woman was newly engaged, the 45 year old man just started dating again after his wife died, and so on until the fifteen year old girl. She had just gotten her first girlfriend when she was attacked."

"What are you saying, Y/n?" Jack questioned.

"I'm saying that Eros is targeting people with an immense amount of pure love. That's what he's looking for!"

"Wow." Sam said, looking at his little sister in admiration. "That's genius, Y/n." He patted her on the shoulder, only to furrow his eyebrows. "What's that on your collarbone?"

You gave Sam a confused look as you headed to the bathroom. There, on your collarbone was a dark red circle. You sucked in a sharp breath.

"I know who the next target is." You told the men.

"Who?" Jack seemed worried by the look on your face.

"It's me."

. .

. . .

"How did this even happen?!" Sam exclaimed.

"I don't know!" You defended yourself, your voice raised slightly. "The whole time we were out I was with you guys. Jack and I never left the motel room while you two were gone."

"That is true." Jack nodded. "Y/n and I stayed in here and she agreed to be my girlfri-"

You put your hand over his mouth. "Now's not the time, babe." You could feel Dean glaring a hole through you and Jack.

"Okay, let's think about this for a second." You said, trying to calm everyone down. "Maybe this is a good thing."

"A good thing?!" Dean roared. "Y/n, how in the hell is this a good thing?!"

"Dean." Sam hissed, cuffing his brother. "Calm down and let Y/n talk." You threw Sam a grateful look.

"This way we can lure Eros out, and kill him. Apparently all it takes is a wooden stake dipped in lambs blood."

"I don't like this plan." Jack muttered.

"See! Thank you." Dean said, clearly pleased with the Nephilim.

"Jack-"

"No, Y/n. You're not going to put yourself in danger just to kill this god. I won't allow it."

"Oh for the love of-" You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. "Eros is coming for me either way. It's better to be prepared and have a plan rather than to just sit here and let him tear my heart out!"

"Don't talk like that!" Jack insisted angrily. You understood that he was worried about you, but you were a grown woman and could make your own decisions.

"It's inevitable, Jack." You said softly. "Eros will come for me. We know from the victims that he kills them 24 hours after being marked. I have maybe 18 hours at best."

Dean was furious. "This is your fault!" He growled at Jack. "You're the reason my baby sister is being targeted!"

Jack looked taken aback. "I didn't want this for Y/n." He said sincerely. "If I could trade places with her, I would."

"That's the problem!"

"Dean-" You started, only to get interrupted by your oldest brother.

"You think you're in love with her, but you're not! It's unnatural. Nephilim, they can't fall in love. All those stupid movies that Y/n and Sam let you watch made you think you're in love with her. You can't love Y/n."

You felt your throat close up, hurt by Dean's words. "Is it that hard to think someone could love me?" You whispered.

Dean's hard glare softened as his eyes landed on you. "Of course not, sweetheart. But Jack. . . He's not right for you."

"Oh, and you know what's best for me?" You growled. Your hurt turned to annoyance and anger.

"Yes, I do. I'm your brother."

Sam and Jack gave each other looks. It was bad when Sam and Dean argued, but when you and Dean argued, it was catastrophic.

"And John was my dad, and he never knew what was best for me! That doesn't mean anything!"

"Oh, so family doesn't mean anything to you?"

"Dean, come on man, you know that's not what she meant." Sam tried to reason.

"Stay out of it, Sam!" Dean yelled.

You could tell Sam was growing annoyed with Dean. His frown deepened, his eyes hardened, and his hand began to twitch.

"No! I won't stay out of it. I am tired of you mistreating Jack and Y/n!"

"Oh, I do not mistreat them!" Dean argued. "Jack, do I mistreat you?" Jack seemed uncomfortable being put on the spot. You knew he looked up to Dean, but Dean had also said some rather hurtful things about Jack.

While Sam, Dean, and Jack continued their argument, you were able to slip away unnoticed.

You were crying now, the thought of dying scared the crap out of you. And your brothers and Jack arguing didn't help the situation.

You looked around the parking lot, looking for something to hotwire. You came across a black Harley Davidson Dyna Super Glide Sport. And the dumbass was stupid enough to leave the keys in the ignition.

You started the engine, listening to the bike purr. You threw back the kickstand and began driving. You didn't know where you were going, all you knew was that you had to get out of there.

You weren't stupid, of course, you had your gun and a silver dagger just in case.

You planted both of your feet on the ground at a stop light. You were still crying, and you couldn't figure out why. You were just so angry.

You ended up stopping at a small dive bar outside of Little Rock. There were a total of ten people there, and most were men.

You flag down the bartender and order a beer. Around twenty minutes later, a man slide in the seat beside you. He said nothing as he ordered a drink. The man seemed so familiar to you, but you couldn't put your finger on it. He had curly, dark brown hair, and beautiful blue-grey eyes. He was handsome in all aspects of the word. But he was nothing compared to Jack.

"I've never seen you here before." He said to you.

"Oh, I uh - I'm just passing through." You gave him a tight smile.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You grabbed it, looking down to see that Dean's as calling you. You sent him to voicemail, something that was bound to piss him off.

"Guy troubles?" The man inquired.

"More like brother troubles." You laughed. "I'm Y/n, by the way."

"Elliott." He smiled, showing off a gleaming row of white teeth. "So, what's going on with your brother?"

"Brother's, actually. They treat me like a baby, just because they're older than me."

"That's what brothers are supposed to do." Elliott shrugged. "They're supposed to look out for you, protect you." Your phone rang again, this time, it was Sam. You sent him to voicemail as well and put your phone on silent.

"Yeah, I guess." You agreed. "But -" You cut yourself off, not wanting to dump all your feeling onto this random stranger.

"But what?" He asked, curious to what your response was.

"There's this guy, this amazing, wonderful, sweet and funny guy. He cares about me, and I care about him, but my oldest brother, he thinks we shouldn't be with each other." You confessed, taking a sip of your beer.

"Is he respectful towards you?" You nodded. "He cares about you and treats you right?" You nodded once more. "Then what's the problem?"

"I don't know." You mumbled. "My brother just doesn't trust him, even though he has no reason not to."

"Call it a brother's intuition." Elliott grinned. You blinked as your vision began to blur. "Hey, you okay?" You let out a slurred response. "Let's get you some air." Elliott helped you out of your chair and outside. You felt the cold air nip at your cheeks, making you feel a thousand times better.

Your head began to spin, the world shifting around you. "I don't feel so well." You groaned. Your body went limp, and the last thing you felt was a pair of strong arms wrapping around you to keep you from falling.

. .

. . .

"Guys!" Jack yelled over Sam and Dean, trying to catch their attention. "GUYS!" Jack's eyes flared orange, finally getting Sam and Dean to stop arguing. "Where's Y/n?"

Sam and Dean looked around the room frantically. Jack looked into the bathroom and found nothing. "Damnit!" Dean growled. "How could she have left without us noticing?!"

"Well, you and Sam were rather angry, I think it was very easy for her to slip away." Dean glared at Jack.

"So help me God, if a single hair on her head is out of place, all hell will break loose, and it'll be on you." Sam sighed, shaking his head.

Dean dialed your phone number, looking apprehensive. "Y/n, I swear if you sent me to voicemail on purpose, I am going to kill you! Answer me, damnit!"

"Let me try." Sam mumbled. "Y/n, please call and let us know you're okay. We're worried."

"I can find her." Jack said hopefully. He closed his eyes, searching for any sign of you. He saw you sitting next to a guy in a bar, he saw the man put something in your drink, and he saw you pass out outside of the bar.

Jack grew angry. He knew what happened to you was wrong, he could feel you were in distress. "She's in trouble."

. .

. . .

"Wakey wakey, sunshine!" Elliott cheered as he threw water on your face. You gasped, bolting awake. You found that you were bound in a chair, the thick rope cutting into your skin. You looked around to see that you were in some kind of a abandoned building.

You were relieved to see that you still had on all your clothes. "I was worried for a second. I thought I might have given you too high of a dose for your body."

"You roofied me." You groaned.

"I did! But you have to understand, Y/n, I would have never gotten you out of there otherwise. You're one of the strongest sacrifices I've ever had."

"Eros." You said in realization.

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" Eros almost seemed happy by the situation. "You are going to be one of the best sacrifices I've had. A hunter with a strong heart full of compassion and pure love. The perfect candidate."

"Please," You whimpered. "Let me go."

Eros sucked in a breath, faking remorse. "You see, I wish I could. . . But I can't. I need you. Ever since the last sacrifice escaped, I've been looking for a new one. And then your brother's, boy wonder and you roll into town. I knew as soon as I saw you that you were perfect. Almost too perfect."

You felt a tear slip down your cheek. "Please. I don't want to die. I'm only 21, there's so much things I haven't done yet. Let me live." You pleaded.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Eros grinned, pulling up a chair in front of you, sitting with his chest on the back of the chair. "I was actually looking for a wife." He gave you a wicked grin that made you squirm in your seat. "I need an heir, or heiress, I don't discriminate. I just want someone to pass my powers off to, to teach. So, I can let you live if you agree to be my wife."

"Rot in hell." You spat, disgusted by the thought of marrying Eros. He grew annoyed, as he punched you, your head snapping back.

"That's too bad." Eros shook his head. "But, at least I'll get to enjoy killing you."

You watched in horror as Eros' fingernails grew into sharp, claw-like hands, almost like a werewolves. You screamed in pain as he drew his finger over your face. "Shh, shh, love. It's gonna be okay." You gave out a small cry, struggling against the ropes.

"The more you struggle, the more it's going to hurt." Eros said in a singsong voice.

You began whispering apologies in your head, to Sam, Dean, Jack, Cas, Rowena, everyone. There were so many unfinished words, so many unsaid 'I love you's,'

"I'm sorry." You whispered. You screamed out once more as Eros dug his nails into your chest.

"Y/N!" You heard Dean yell. Sam, Dean and Jack appeared from behind a crate, your brothers carrying guns, and we'll, Jack himself was a weapon.

"Ah, ah, ah." Eros grinned wickedly. "I am holding her life in the palm of my hand; literally. So put down those shiny guns, and step away from them." Sam and Dean looked at each other. Eros scowled as he dug his nails deeper into your skin. You cried out in pain, feeling his nails getting closer to your heart.

"Alright! Alright!" Sam said hastily, setting down his gun and stepping away, encouraging Dean to do the same.

You were quite the sight for the men. You had blood coating your clothes, a bruised eye from the blows that Eros landed earlier, your hair was a mess and you face was streaked with tears.

"Get away from her!" Jack bellowed.

"Oh, look, it's your lover boy." Jack's words only made Eros angrier, as he retracted his hand, and swiped his claws over your face, creating four long gashes.

"I said get away from her!" Jack's eyes began to glow orange, and he trembled with anger. Eros looked frightened as he was sent flying back into the wall.

Sam and Dean surged forward, both carrying a wooden stake dipped in lambs blood, while Jack went to help you.

"It's okay," He whispered. "I've got you." You gave out a small whimper as he cut the ropes. "Can you stand?" You tried to stand up with the help of Jack, but your knees buckled beneath you. Jack scooped you up in his arms. You buried your head in his chest, turning away from you brothers, who were currently killing Eros.

"Take me home." You mumbled before darkness enveloped you.

. .

. . .

When you awoke, you were in your bed at the bunker, surrounded by Cas, Sam, Dean, Jack and Rowena.

"Y/n." Dean breathed a breath of relief as he hugged you. You winced in pain, your body still sore from you attack. "I am so sorry. I never should have said those things to you. I'm so glad you're okay."

"It's okay, Dean." You assured him. Even though you said you were fine, there was still pain swimming in his eyes.

"We couldn't heal your wounds with magic," Rowena informed you. "Since Eros was the one to injure you, it will have to heal naturally. I did make you some herbs that will stop the pain, however."

"Thanks, Rowena." You smiled. The room began emptying out, everyone wanted to let you rest. Jack, however, didn't leave your side.

"I'm sorry, Y/n." He whispered.

"Why are you sorry?" You asked, squeezing his hand.

"I let you get hurt. I should have gotten there sooner." You saw there were tears in his eyes. You frowned as you scooted over.

"Come lie beside me." Jack hesitantly climbed into the bed, pushing aside the covers. You wrapped your arms around his middle and rested your head on his chest. "You got me out of there when you did. I'm okay, and that's all that matters."

"But-"

You cut Jack off with a kiss. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." You mumbled, cupping his cheek. "I just want you to hold me."

"I can do that." Jack nodded, pulling you closer to his body. You decided to put on a movie as you and Jack cuddled. Halfway through the movie, you ended up falling asleep. Jack didn't sleep that often, but he felt so at peace that he fell asleep as well.

When everyone came to check on you again, their hearts melted at the sight of you and Jack. "Oh, just look at them." Rowena whispered to the men. "They're so cute."

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "They are."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Tag List: @mila-dans @blairrrose

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kemakoshume · 3 years

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haikyuu boys ult kmusic/kpop artist(s) + their fav song(s) from them

a;n: hello yes for those of you who don't know i am both a kpop/kmusic stan and a haikyuu simp so here's this! bts is my ult group for anyone who cares but i casual listen to a LOT of solo artists and groups and have for a really long time. this post is just for the karasuno boys so if you'd like me to do the other main schools we've seen in the show pls lmk!

the songs in order are in this playlist: here ⭒❃.✮:▹

~ 𝘬𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘰 ~

daichi: this dude loves DEAN. the vibes, so immaculate. is actually lowkey bummed he doesn't release music super often but he's too busy to dwell on it. will perk up in excitement when he does randomly drop something new or features on a song. his fave song is: dayfly when he's chilling by himself at home, but he plays pour up every time he's getting ready to go out for the night. not a huge kpop fan specifically, like he rarely finds himself going out of his way to listen to idol groups, but he doesn't dislike it.

sugawara: he's the BTS stan of the group and has been since 2014. actually tears up when he thinks about how far they've come as a group and how much they've grown and accomplished. still wants to fight whoever sent a de*th threat so bad that the boys had to cancel a show in 2015. is still very petty towards and biased against a fanbase for petitioning the korean government to take away the group's first daesang win. that man is a shooter for jimin! he will punch you in the throat for saying anything negative about him. loves their song paradise, he finds himself listening to it all the time. UGH! is his go-to hype song these days and he still wants to dance in the rain all 90s rnb style to their song outro: does it make sense?

asahi: is a DPR fanboy. went to three of their shows when they toured for the first time just to show his support. put tanaka on to their music now he's obsessed too, especially with their please rap collab. asahi's personal favorite song of theirs is martini blue. it's his comfort song and perks him up whenever he's not in the best mood. can't get enough of ian's video editing and takes a lot of inspo from his creative lens. he has so much respect for his eye.

noya: this boy is a Mamamoo stan to the max. he loves him some Hwasa, let me tell you. though, he really likes Whee In's solo music, can't get enough of Solar's Youtube channel, and actually wishes he was Moonbyul. her BDE is unmatched. Hwasa's stages are his favorite... for obvious reasons. his favorite song from their group members is Hwasa's solo song: don't because he wishes he was in Loco's place. also loves Whee In's solo song: easy. it makes him happy.

tanaka: i think he'd fuck with Dumbfoundead so hard. he's funny and edgy and his music slaps. tanaka 100% follows him on twitter. his favorite song from him ever is: inside and he unironically likes his part on the mukkbang remix. used to be a heavy krapper fan but now he's more chill and prefers more chilled-out rap music to listen to. also annoyed at the part of that community that refuses to respect black people. the relatively non-problematic artists in the rnb/hiphop blend genre are his fav. he doesn't actually stan any idol groups, he just thinks the girls are pretty and respects their work ethic.

ennoshita: he loves the soloist Park Jimin (aka Jamie) so much. her vocals bring him peace of mind. he also loves her personality and how outgoing & open she can be. his fav song by her is: stay beautiful but young hae was stuck in his head for weeks because he played it so many times after he turned 18.

kinoshita: sweet baby. his ult group is Blackpink. he loves all the girl's personalities and aspires to BE Lisa one day. can't get enough of how confident all the girls seem to be and he wants to channel all of that. he has rosé's instagram post notifs on. fav song is (surprisingly to the rest of the guys): ddu-du ddu-du but he's not confident enough yet to do the dance, even when noya and hinata start doing it and egging him on.

narita: gives me DVWN stan vibes. loves his song: develop. can't get enough of the piano sounds.

kageyama: SHINEE. he really really likes Taemin and respects how much he loves his craft. can't get enough of his solo stuff but also just enjoys the whole group so much. jonghyun is the reason he starts trying to smile more and emote a little more than he normally does. savior is his favorite song to practice ball handling to (ha), love belt is his favorite song to play in the background while he works on homework, and he listens to shift all the time during his cooldowns on his runs to get him through the last walking sprint to his house.

hinata: oh that boy is a TWICE simp to the max. catch him on the court doing the TT dance every time he lands a game-winning point. he's so infatuated with Momo it's ridiculous. his favorite song they've ever made is: signal he doesn't care what anyone else says about it. the dance is cute, and the song makes him want to move. it's a bop. but he honestly loves all their songs. pls don't make him pick just one, he physically can't do it.

tsukki: he’s a big fan of Day6. he would walk around jamming out all day with a completely straight face, bopping his head to the beat. he loves LOVES their song: hi hello. he totally watches jae’s twitch streams passively in his free time too. is judging the fuck out of JYP for how dirty they’ve done the group and respects the guys for calling the company out.

yamaguchi — IU is his ultimate bias. he would kiss the ground that woman walks on. her music is so soothing and helps him stay relaxed and focused when he practices his float serves. fav song by her would absolutely be: through the night.

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gra-sonas · 3 years

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Max Evans has had one hell of a year. The Roswell, New Mexico Season 3 premiere, which picked up a year after the events of the Season 2 finale, saw the alien-turned-cop living large with his pseudo siblings Isobel and Michael. However, his easygoing demeanor was nothing more than a facade. As it turns out, he is dying, principally because his body is rejecting the heart transplant he received last season. Now, he is on a mission to wrap up his unfinished business -- not the least of which involves Liz Ortecho, the estranged love of his life, and Jones, the alien from whom he was cloned.

Speaking to CBR, Roswell, New Mexico star Nathan Dean offered some insight into Max's end-of-life plans. He shared why it was so fun to play two separate characters in Season 3, as well as how that effect was accomplished behind the scenes. He explained the key difference between Max and Jones, which may very well show Max his own potential. He teased Anatsa's key role this season and warned fans to be worried about the results of Maria's ominous visions. He also previewed Max's reunion with Liz, the real-world issues that Season 3 will tackle and more.

CBR: This season, you're playing two separate characters. How do you alter your approach to differentiate between Max and Jones?

Nathan Dean: You know, Max has spent his whole life suppressing who he is, suppressing his abilities and trying to hide and trying to be human. Jones has never tried to do that. He has never suppressed anything. He's never tried to stop himself from finding his full potential. So really, it was just the opportunity.

I thank our showrunner Chris Hollier and our writers for allowing me to do this, to really step into the potential of what Max could have been under different circumstances, if he hadn't grown up on Earth around humans. If he never tried to suppress these abilities, if he never tried to suppress who you are or your potential, what is that? What is the limit there? For Jones, there is none.

So it was really fun to then step into this fully evolved version of the character that I've been playing and then switch between the two, go back to understanding the circumstances of, "Alright, you're human, you're trying to be human," but then switch back into, "Oh, no, you're not. You're so much more than human. You're something far beyond that." Yeah, juxtaposing the two was a lot of fun.

What is it like for you to act opposite yourself? What does that look like for you behind the scenes?

Nathan Dean: It's very weird! It's very weird. You know, there were days where there would be myself and there would be a photo double -- one for Max, one for Jones -- and there would be stunt doubles -- one for Max, one for Jones -- and we just kept multiplying on set. But it was very bizarre. It was a lot of fun.

You sort of do one side of the scene a certain way and then switch over. You know, you take the beard off, you change the outfit and change the mannerisms, change the demeanor, and then try to have a conversation with the self that you just were. It was very fun! [laughs] It was very bizarre, but it was great.

Thanks to Jones, Max is finally getting some of the answers he's longed for. How will that impact the way he sees himself, particularly in relation to Isobel and Guerin?

Nathan Dean: It impacts him a lot. I mean, we spent this past year... we weren't working. You know, a lot of people weren't working and you just kind of sit at home and have to look yourself in the mirror and really figure out who you want to be and how you want the world to remember you and how you want the world to see you.

Max is confronted with this thing in a very real person of Jones, literally looking yourself in the mirror. It sort of forces Max, I think, to take stock and appreciate Guerin and appreciate Isobel and Liz, too. I mean, just be grateful for having them in his life and finding out his place in the universe. You get to see, I think, that growth from him all season of just that gratitude and approaching people with respect, and respecting his situation so much more seeing it from someone else's eyes.

As we found out in the premiere, Max is dying. How does he envision his last days? What does his bucket list look like?

Well, I think largely it comes down to him wanting to respect and honor the people around him that have loved him in his life, and he hasn't necessarily always been good on that. So he just really wants to just be there for the people he cares about. I think for him, dying quietly and disappearing is the best option. He's always wanted to disappear into the shadows, but this season and Jones in particular kind of forced him to step out of those shadows and step into himself more.

I hope that, by the end of the season, that we see a much more mature, a much more fully formed Max than we have in the past. He's no longer allowed to hide because now there's two of him! So yeah, he's kind of forced to step into the spotlight when he doesn't necessarily want to.

It looks like Roswell has a new sheriff in town. How will that affect Max's job and his role in the community?

Nathan Dean: It doesn't really affect him. I mean, Max thankfully is not -- he doesn't have his job by election, but it definitely hurts him because Valenti was tough, but she was always kind of on his side and had his back. So yeah, he has to definitely adjust and learn a new place and learn if you he trust the new sheriff, who is coming into town in very crazy times, because now there's not one, but there's two of me.

He's got to learn how to adjust with that and hopefully, the new sheriff will be able to -- maybe not be as understanding as Valenti was, but yeah, she'll have a whole new set of problems to deal with. I hope we can trust her and hope that he'll be able to keep his job and try to keep her out of it as much as possible. But yeah, it's definitely a new rule.

In this week's episode, we learn a little more about Anatsa and her reason for coming to Roswell. How will we see that dynamic evolve as the season progresses?

Nathan Dean: Well, that's gonna be fun. I mean, she has her own agenda, definitely, and Max is a little bit reckless off the top and kind of steps a little bit out of line. But yeah, I mean, she's coming here, she's gonna learn a whole lot of things that she wasn't quite ready to learn when she first came to Roswell. Yeah, as the season goes on, we'll see her become integrated into not only Max's life, but then obviously, Michael and Isobel's life as well. She is really striving to uncover what turns out to be some uncomfortable truths.

Roswell has never shied away from dipping its toes into controversial topics, so how does that set the stage for the show to tackle some real-world current events?

Nathan Dean: Well, we've all been through a lot of these last couple years. Having jumped forward a year, we definitely touch on -- I mean, it's unavoidable. There was a pandemic! There was a lot of people going through some pretty difficult times. Yeah, we definitely jump into it. I mean, we'll talk about it. We always try to stay as current as possible.

I mean, the fact that Max is a cop, that's controversial in and of itself, and we definitely talk about that. Yeah, like you said, we don't shy away from situations that are going on in the real world, and I think this year, we were given a good platform to be able to have these conversations with level heads and not shy away from it. Stuff will come up about being a cop; stuff will come up about the pandemic. Kyle, one of our main characters, is a doctor. This stuff that doctors have had to go through these past couple of years, it's all very, very much at the forefront of this show.

We try to tackle everything with a level head and with respect. We just were given a lot of ammunition this past year, and we'll dive into it and we'll talk about it. But central to our show, obviously, is going to be these aliens and the relationship between Liz and Max and all that. So we try to play it all on an even playing field.

Just how trustworthy is Jones?

Nathan Dean: [laughs] I think you've got to figure out his agenda first! I mean, you've got to figure out what he wants. Ultimately, Jones sort of operates as a window into the past. Michael and Isobel primarily, but also Max, always had these questions boiling around in their minds about, "Who are we? Why are we here? Where did we come from? What's our place in the stars? What are we doing? What's happening?" And Jones is a window into that.

He obviously has his own plans and his own thing, but at the end of the day, yeah, he's sort of what Max could have been, had Max not grown up on Earth. We get to see that unfold and unfold throughout the season. So yeah, I mean, do you trust Max? Do you just Isobel? Do you trust Michael? Do you trust any of these aliens? Do you trust Jones? I don't know! That's all yet to be seen.

Maria keeps having visions of a funeral and she isn't quite sure who's in the coffin. How worried should fans be?

Nathan Dean: Definitely be worried. You know, we're just learning now what Maria's abilities are and what her role in this cosmic game is. As we move forward, trying to figure out what her ability is, and are these are these, in fact, real? Are these set in stone? Is this something that can be changed? What are these visions? Are these the future that's going to happen or a future that could happen?

Yeah, we learn a lot about Maria this year, and obviously Liz is off in LA trying to figure out how to deal with that as well. It's fun to sort of -- you know, she's one of the new aliens in the group and we get to figure out what that's about.

What can you tease about Max's reunion with Liz?

Nathan Dean: I mean, Max and Liz have this relationship that is constantly push and pull. They're in this orbit around each other they just can't break. It is very appropriate that she literally runs into him, because no matter how hard they try to be apart and try to be separated, the world, the universe, whatever it is, they just keep literally crashing into each other.

Obviously, it's been a year. Max is not doing well, in a lot of ways. There's also another Max out there somewhere. So yeah, they crash into each other in quite a spectacular way.

#nathan dean parsons #max evans #rnm cast interviews #rnm spoilers #rnm 3x02 #roswell new mexico s3 #echo #liz ortecho

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livebloggingmydescentintomadness · 3 years

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Hi. I can come off anon if you'd prefer to answer privately cause I really don't want this to blow up in a negative way. I just feel overwhelmed, kind of lost, and I really appreciate your view point... SPN has always been a comfort show (Dean being my comfort character) but since the mess with J*P & learning so much about someone who I really liked + use for an RP OC, I haven't been able to enjoy it like I used or even write said OC. Do you have any advice? I miss Dean & SPN and 1/2

2/2 and I feel like I'm letting my bff down cause I have hiatus on that OC who is their ship partner and doesn't want J*P to not be the faceclaim anymore. I'm a fan of G*n P too (Wildfire rewatch paused too) so I just feel lost. I don't know how to see J*P anymore/not feel like disgusted with who he truly seems. I miss not knowing, being able to enjoy content that includes him like SPN, Gilm*re Girls, or cons. I miss feeling connected with A*K*F. I really need advice, please, any at all?

an add on... I am sorry for the possible emotional dumping there too. I just am scared to put it on a public post with how some fans are of his and plus my bff who can ignore it better than me, who wants me to do the same cause they insist they did the same with M*ish and J*A who are my favorites. I feel lost. I'm so sorry, I just really did not where else to turn for advice on something like this.

hey there, hon, i'm sorry you're dealing with this shittiness.

my qpp and i have been together for almost 16 years, and one of the things that got us together was a form of role-playing some characters. we've kept that up all this time, and it's grown and evolved into us writing fleshed-out fic together where we each write one of the characters and trade little chapters back and forth.

so all of that is to say that i completely understand what you're describing. and i have to say that most of all, i'm very concerned by how your "bff" is treating you.

when it comes to our writing, me and my qpp's number one rule is prioritizing each other's physical health and mental well-being. even after all this time, we love and look forward to getting the email with the next part, but we still constantly reassure each other if you don't feel up to writing right now, don't worry about it. rest, take care of yourself, do what you need to do, and if you're having emotional issues then talk about them to me.

you and us always, always, always comes before the writing, because while that's meaningful to us and we enjoy it, it's still just a thing. we're more important. one time i went an entire year without writing anything because my mental and physical health was so terrible, and she never once pressured me.

if my qpp told me that the actions of the actor behind a character had unsettled her so badly that she couldn't continue writing that with me, i would of course be saddened and disappointed. but i would never try to force her or guilt her into doing it anyway, and she would never do that to me. never.

it makes complete sense that you're having these feelings about a character with jared's face, and i feel very critical of your friend for not being understanding of that fact. i don't think it's remotely the same to compare it to your friend "getting over"/"ignoring" misha and jensen for you, because i don't know of anything either of them have done that compares to the shit jared has pulled. and besides, it doesn't matter, because the fact is that you ARE upset. you can't bargain someone into just not being upset anymore.

i'm sorry to say it, but i think your friend is being selfish. they want you to deliver role-playing without caring about your feelings, and certainly without prioritizing your welfare.

let's be clear: this is something you do for fun. you are in no way obligated to do this, ever. if it's not fun or fulfilling for you anymore, you are allowed to stop. this isn't a marriage, it's just a role-play. it can be meaningful and intimate, but it's not a contract you signed. if your partner is no longer meeting you halfway and is just using you to get what they want, you have every right to back out of the situation.

i know that will suck and it'll hurt, but you shouldn't force yourself to do this just to please them. you'll get more and more upset and start to resent them, and eventually you'll explode.

you need to talk honestly with your friend and lay down some boundaries. if they can't respect your well-being, they're not the best friend you thought they were.

i wish i could tell you how to solve your feelings towards j*red, but i think this is the more immediate problem. if you can get distance from this pressure to "get over it", maybe then you'll be able to actually deal with the feelings and figure stuff out.

#spn cast #anonymous #ask

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verobatto · 3 years

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Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Breaking Walls (Part. II)

(12x22)

Hello my friends! We are about to finish the metas from season 12.

This time we will talk about Leader!Sam and the Foreshadow of Healing!Dean from season 14.

Trapped

The episode opens with Sam, Dean and Toni locked inside the bunker, trying desperately to find a way out.

The curious point of it, is that they will try a spell to break free...

SAM: Seems like pretty basic ingredients. Nothing we don't already have. Oh. (...) The mechanisms “must be anointed with the blood of virgins.” (...) I mean, I've read half a dozen purification rituals in the last hour. If we used one of those on – on our blood...

DEAN: Then what? Revirginize it?

SAM: Maybe.

TONI: So we purify the blood, then do the spell.

Focusing on the symbolism here, first of all, the bunker becoming a trap, and the boys trying to scape from it, is a foreshadow of Dean trapped in his own body, possesed by AU!Michael. But then the spell they choose, need purity, virginity, clean blood.

Purity will be a relevant point in season 14 as the goal searched for AU!Michael and as a recalling to Purgatory, foreshadowing Purgatory 2.0 in season 15.

So when Toni says WE PURIFY THE BLOOD AND THEN DO THE SPELL, she's giving us the prelude for Healing!Dean in season 14. The path Dean will take to purify his soul, to really grow after being possesed, and facing himself. He will have to find his own in once to break free from Michael, and his emotional prison.

While talking about the way Dean had pictured his death, this is the face he made when they mentioned "blaze of glory"

Gif credit @jaredandjensen

Which is not the face you would do if you really wanted to die of that. Dean is, at this point, as he was in season 10, considering his options, he is growing up and the blasting idea of die as "blaze of glory" is not what he really wants for himself.

When we heard his confession in season 10 and then we saw him meeting Jesse and Cesar in Season 11, we can infer what's in his heart. What he really wants. Curiously, the topic of season 14.

The explosion Dean made on the wall to break free, is a symbolic representation of the big turning point in his life when he lost Castiel.

Breaking down the walls

The mention of Jericho at the beginning of the episode refers to "break down the walls".

Jericho's battle, described by the bible, was the first battle israelites to conquer Canaan. Jericho was powerfully guarded by wall, they were able to break down in the seventh day of the battle.

What this has to do with this episode? Well. Is an episode that shows us a lot of wall that fall and break down. First of all, the bunker becoming a prison, Dean broke the wall. Now is time to break emotional/psychological wall: when he gets inside Mary's mind, trying to reach her through a very emotional speech, he will be breaking those walls, and at the same time, he will be foreshadowing Cas and Sam getting inside his head to reach him, in his emotional prison in 14x09.

Dean reached Mary through family love, but it was necessary two kind of loves to break Dean's walls: Sam (family love) and Cas (romantic love) in season 14.

The speech Dean gave to his mom to reach her is the self knowledge about his traumas.

And because is a Berens episode, we have the parallels between scenes, to show us a message.

In one scene we have Sam trying to break down the walls of British Man of Letters to defeat them, guiding a team of hunters, foreshadowing his leadership in season 14.

And in the other scene, we have Dean trying to break down his mom's walls from her emotional prison.

Bot scenes interrelated with the profound meaning that will have Dean's possesion by AU!Michael.

The way Dean's speech to reach his mother is a reflection of his own self, is the perfect philosophical path he will take in season 14: Self discovering, self acceptance.

So, we can infer that the parallel between Sam's battle against BMoL is a reflection of Dean's battle to reach his mother, but at the same time, Dean's future inner battle to break free from his emotional prison.

Sam defeats and kills the head of BMoL, releasing the american hunter's from her. Just like Dean will release his mother from the mental control. And just like Dean will break free from his emotional prison in season 14.

Dean's self aknowledgment of his traumas

When Dean arrives to his mother's mind, he finds her younger, taking care of him and Sam before she died. Is a perfect (fake) world her own mind had created to keep her away from the reality, because the reality hurts. This is the perfect parallel to 14x09, when Sam and CAS find Dean in the Rocky's bar.

DEAN: Look, I know that they messed with your head, okay? I know it feels better in here. It feels safer. (...) Mom, look at me. (...) You're choosing this.

Dean is aware his mother is trapped in her own mind, her own emotional prison. That's not real. This way he is mourning his childhood's mother too. Because he faces her, and he tries to drag her back to what she is now.

DEAN: You promised you'd keep me safe. And then you make a deal with Azazel. Yeah, it saved Dad's life, but I'll tell you something else that happened. Because on November 2, 1983, old Yellow Eyes came waltzing in to Sammy's room, because of your deal. (Mary turns abruptly and walks past Dean to Sam’s crib in the living room) You left us. Alone. 'Cause Dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect Mom, the perfect family... was gone.

Okay, i will make a cut here. When Dean starts the speech that will make Mary to break free, he starts saying YOU PROMISE ME YOU'D KEEP ME SAFE. He's talking about him, here, that's why I said that in this same speech Dean Winchester finds himself, his traumas, as the begining of his healing journey. Then, he narrates the big scene that changed his life forever. That day he went from a normal kid to have a hard life. YOU LEFT US is pointing at the demand to his mother, the empty space that must be filled (by Dean). Something he had in his heart, burried. Is te request of that little 4 years old kid. DAD WAS JUST A SHELL is also demanding to John Winchester for not be for them as he should. He was a shell, empty spot it must be filled. (By Dean). The perfect wife and mom doesn't exist, it was a fantasy Dean kept in his mind, it was the image he had of Mary Winchester. The image of the little boy. The perfect family, gone. Remarks the mourn Dean is doing, as an exercise while talking to his mother.

Gif set credit @littlehobbit13

Dean's aknowledgment of his role in Sam's life brings him sorrow and pain, because as he will continue saying, he feels he failed.

DEAN: And that wasn't fair. And I couldn't do it. And you wanna know what that was like?

They killed the girl that he loved. He got possessed by Lucifer. They tortured him in Hell. And he lost his soul. His soul. All because of you. All of it was because of you.

Even when Dean is taking all of the bad things that happened to Sam on his back, he shows his mother she started it all. But look how Dean carries with all these curses.

DEAN: I hate you. I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once. I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything.

Okay, this is very deep. First of all, we have Dean starting his ILY journey right here. The firsts words are said by his innocent heart, the 4 years old kid is talking here: I HATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU, is the duality of his feelings, his deep fears, and his repressed emotions. He hates his mother Because he had to go through all of that, and because Sammy had to go through all of that because of her mistakes. So, as the child he was once, he says I HATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MOM. Then, it comes the grown up man talking, as an adult, Dean is able to understand and forgive Mary's mistakes. Now that he is a man, he can connect with his mother's errors. And he is able to forgive her, reaching that peace he needed in his heart with her and with himself.

DEAN: On the other side of this, we can start over, okay? You, me, Sam. We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight. Right now, I need you to fight. I need you – I need you to look at me, Mom. I need you to really look at me and see me. Mom, I need you to see me. Please.

This, this is huge. Why? Because is a parallel to the mixtape scene. Look how Dean mentions 'YOU, ME, SAM', there's not doubt, not head tilting, no regrets as it was in the mixtape scene, why? Because there's no doubts Dean is talking about FAMILY, and not RANTIC LOVE HERE. In the mixtape scene he puts Sam as a shield, because he needed to protect himself from his own feelings YOU, ME (CAS/DEAN) it wouldeant JUST CAS AND HIM, THE TWP OF THEM, ROMANCE. GAY. But putting Sam there, he turns that into FAMILY. Now, there's not doubts in this scene, because Dean is talking about family. There's not shield needed. Family: YOU, ME, SAM. In both scenes he is asking for a new beginning, work toge as a family. But in the mixtape scene there was this romantic tension giving it an all different meaning.

When Dean asks his mom to really look at him, is the way he will bring her back to reality. Because the grown up man in front of h is the real one, his real son. The same will happen with Dean being possesed by AU!Michael, in which Dean will be able to see himself as he really is.

To Conclude:

This episode was full of symbolism, but the main topic was how to break walls, emotional walls, as a prelude to season 14, in which we will have Healing!Dean and Leader!Sam.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one, will be the last from season 12!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season, here you have the links:

Vol. LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII, LXXVIII, LXXIX, LXXX, LXXXI, LXXXII, LXXXIII, LXXXIV, LXXXV, LXXXVI, LXXXVII, LXXXVIII, LXXXIX, XC.

Buenos Aires, December 6th 2020, 6:59 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 12 meta #vol. XCI

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