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builtbybrokenbells · 4 months

Text

CAPITAL VICES | WRATH

Wrath: a strong anger and/or hate towards another person.

Masterlist

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 21k (oops)

Warnings: PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS AS THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS VERY HEAVY THEMES—SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, hate sex, rough sex, fingering (f!receiving), masturbation (f!receiving), touch of voyeurism, choking, praise, degradation, dom/sub, sir kink, choking, touch of impact play, name calling, bratty sub, ANGST, very toxic themes, intentional jealousy, jealousy/possessiveness, very descriptive scenes of anger, gaslighting/manipulative behaviour/phrases, fighting, crying, mentions of physical violence, yelling, belittling oneself and others, self destructive behaviour, self-hatred, mentions of abusive relationships, mentions of cheating, mentions of grief/parent loss, mentions of breakups/breakups, depression, anxiety, mentions of addiction/drug use, mentions of blood/bleeding, swearing, drinking, so sorry if i miss any!

here it is, the long awaited chapter. wrath has been a chapter I’ve been looking forward to since the very beginning, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you for helping me get this far. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes (lightly edited) 😘

Heartbreak is such a cruel word, always insinuating that the very thing that breathes life into your body has been shattered and destroyed beyond repair. Heartbreak is violent, it is isolating, and it is gruesome. It is also something you never once believed you would let yourself feel again, and for years, you had done so well adhering to your own rules.

Love in itself is a funny thing; such a powerful emotion that is not only widely felt, but almost always ends in catastrophe. You were not one for love, and you had known that ever since you found yourself sitting in a bleak beige office across from a divorce lawyer at the young age of 22. Before that, when you cried ugly tears over a hospital bed while holding the sick, frail hand of your once mighty father, the notion began to rise in your mind. You could distinctly remember looking across the room, catching sight of your mothers grief-stricken eyes, and even then you could not begin to comprehend falling in love only to lose someone so tragically.

It always seemed like a curse to you, rather than a blessing; you watched too many relationships fail and leave disaster in its wake, too many people never recover from heartbreak greater than this lifetime, and too many people watch their greatest loves succumb to sickness before their very eyes. You could not position yourself in such a powerless situation, nor could you choke down the pain that came after it. The idea of giving yourself completely to another was not something you were keen on, nor ever wanted for yourself, especially after doing it once and receiving nothing but sorrow in return.

A lifetime of loneliness seemed better than decades of pain, because if you were going to suffer, you thought it best to do it on your own accord.

It’s not like you were isolated; perhaps your heart always craved a little more, but never enough for you to throw your morals in the garbage. Company came in all forms, as did fulfillment. You found solace in friends, family and colleagues. Your life was full of love, even if it was not in the way that is most expected of a person. You knew how to feel it, how to appreciate another in a selfless show of emotion, but never in romance. Casual sex was your forte, and it bridged the gap between your fear of committing and the human urge for connection. It was something you did well at, never lingering for too long and cutting things off before becoming too invested. As of recent, you seemed to stray away from that lifestyle, too, as you began to understand that one wrong move left you in a position that was uncomfortable and complicated. You adored your peace, and you loved your personal space, and if that meant keeping everyone else out, you were willing to sacrifice fulfillment on behalf of happiness.

Your friends and family thought you were insane for lacking the desire to settle down and start a family, that you would rather live alone instead of make space for another. They couldn’t understand you, nor could you understand them. You were two sides of the same coin, and it was always best to leave the discussion of love under the table. Your mother had another daughter to give her grandchildren, and even if she did not, you could not take that burden upon yourself just to make her happy. With time, she had grown much more understanding, and you knew that the more the years went on, the more she would be able to comprehend your feelings on the matter.

You were committed to your job, and your lifestyle. You loved drinking at the bar, and you loved to have fun in every aspect of the word. You liked to laugh, to do things that left impactful memories, and you didn’t want anything to get in the way of that. You did a good job of keeping life simple, and you were confident in your ability to maintain your integrity in the process.

Five years of that lifestyle had made you a professional of sorts. Then, Jacob fucking Kiszka walked into your life and ruined the whole damn thing.

With his pretty eyes and his devilishly beautiful face, he had charmed his way into your bed. With his witty humor and compelling aura, he’d managed to convince you to be his friend. With his sweet words and gentle smile, he’d easily become your favorite person in the whole world, and not long after that, you realized that you had fallen for him beyond any doubt. You were in love with him in the most sincere and honest way, and you loved him enough that you could not manage distance yourself from him, even if you so badly wanted to.

But, he was a man, and beyond the surface, they were all the same. It took one night for him to shatter the comfortability the two of you created, and it took one night to destroy the heart that he had a helping hand in repairing.

You wished you could say that at the sight of his lips locked with another woman and his tongue down her throat, you vowed to be the bigger person. You wanted to walk away, to forget he ever existed and move on with your life. You intended to stitch your wounds in silence, and flourish in seclusion. When you stepped back out into the real world, maybe he could catch a glimpse of you and realize all that he’d lost by being so immature. You wanted it so badly, and you did not crave to involve yourself in his childish behavior. When you left the bar the night he found himself wrapped around another girl, you promised yourself that you would never see him again, nor would try to hurt him the same way he hurt you. You wanted to move on, to take the loss and be better for it.

You had quickly come to learn that promising something and following through are two very different things.

The first night, you cried yourself to sleep. When you woke the next day, the pain was still abundant and relentless. You drank a bottle of wine while playing the saddest songs you knew on the piano, but not even that seemed to help. After that, you did all you could to ignore the hurt in your heart, hoping that if you did not submit to it, it would leave you alone. Food sickened you, and no matter where you situated yourself in your home to try and lessen the memory, it only seemed to hurt worse. His presence clung to every surface. It lived in the fabric of your couch, and the soft cotton of your bedsheets. It was sitting at your kitchen table, and even in the shower, too.

Even if you notice something in a room is missing, the memory of the loss ensures that it will remain indefinitely.

By the third day, you had become so angry that you could not even recognize yourself in the mirror. All of the hurt you were holding back was unbearable, bubbling to the surface with a vengeance. It was upset about being ignored and begging to be heard, disguising itself as anger to showcase its unhappiness with your unwillingness to acknowledge it. You were irritable, your patience thin and bordering non-existence. You cancelled your upcoming clients with a promise to reschedule, and you went to the gym excessively in hopes that the ache of your muscles would cover the sound of the ever-increasing pain in your heart.

You knew you were too far gone when one day, instead of walking away in frustration when your fork had fallen to the floor while trying to heat up old takeout remaining in your fridge, with little care, you had thrown the plate in its entirety to the ground, too. You watched as the porcelain shattered and the food scattered across the floor, no horror or regret in your body. Instead, you only felt emptiness at the sight of the mess you’d made. You took a step over it, ignoring it until you had the energy to clean it, and crawled into your bed in a mess of tears.

Thats when it finally started; all of the hurt turned your maturity into childish rage. You were angry with everything, and you were so full of sorrow that it made it difficult to breathe.

Wrath was just around the corner, and you were too far gone to stop it before it started.

An idea blossomed in your mind amidst the chaos, and at first, you denounced it as quickly as it appeared. It was immature, irrational, and would only open the door for even more trouble. But, as you raised a whiskey glass to your lips with a shaking hand in the darkness of your living room on a boring Wednesday night, you could not refute the temptation. You wanted to hurt Jake the same way he hurt you. You wanted to make him suffer just like you did, crying in his brothers arms while he occupied himself with the prettier, more convenient option.

It was a shot in the dark, and it would only work if he felt the same for you as you did for him. In the last few days, you had been seriously debating whether or not he did. He seemed to move on so easily, making you wonder if he was just playing a long game with you or if you’d hurt him bad enough that he knew no other way to cope with his own breaking heart. Then, you remembered his hands on her, and his lips on her, and it sickened you to the core. It made you feel like he really did want the cop out option, or that he wanted someone who was easier and much less broken. He wanted less baggage, less commitment, and with you, he could not have that. You had long passed simplicity, and outgrown casual. He didn’t want you, and you needed to choke down the fact if you ever had a chance at recovery.

But, with the slim chance that he did care for you the same and he was just being immature about his hurt, you knew you had to act if you were ever going to get the justice you so desperately craved. Revenge is a dangerous game, but you had already gambled your life when you offered your heart to him.

After losing so many times, the prospect of winning became all the more appealing. You would gamble your last breath to finally have the upper hand on him.

So on a warm Saturday evening, you found yourself holed up in your bathroom with a curling iron running through your hair. Your lips were painted red to match the skimpy dress that hugged your body, and your eyes were dark with eyeshadow and dramatic eyeliner. You had put on your best perfume, which just so happened to be the one Jake had claimed as his favourite. As you finished up your hair, you sprayed a thin layer of hairspray so it would stay in place. Just as you did so, a knock sounded on your front door. You went to greet your company with a fake smile on your lips and less than genuine enthusiasm. As you opened the door, a nervous flutter in your stomach reminded you that your idea could end catastrophically.

Behind the door was a familiar face, handsome and smiling as his eyes landed on you. But, his beauty was nowhere near Jake’s, and his smile was nice, but not even close to the breathtaking nature of his. A few days prior, you had scrolled through your Facebook friends in search of a suitable candidate to take on a date. When your eyes landed upon a name of a friend you had lost contact with after high school, you thought it would be a great opportunity to catch up while also using him for your ugly ulterior motives. You reached out, and he responded instantly, thus making your work so much less tiresome. Within a day he was flirting, and within two, you had plans for dinner at an expensive restaurant nearby Jake’s apartment complex. He had picked the spot, and the location just happened to relate with your plans.

“Hello, beautiful.”

“Hi,” you continued forcing the smile, hoping that by the time you settled down to eat, the false nature you held in your heart would settle into comfortability. “Come in for a second, I’m just finishing up.” You stepped aside, allowing him entry. His eyes scanned your walls, taking in the decoration, but he didn’t study it for too long before his stare landed back on your chest.

‘Classy.’ You held back an eye roll as you made a mental note of his lack of maturity. Then again, who were you to judge him when you were only going on the date to piss someone else off? He followed as you walked to your bedroom to grab your purse. ‘Perfect.’ You smiled to yourself, your eyes catching the large mirror displayed in front of your bed. You grabbed your purse and looked over at him, noticing that his eyes were still glued on your body.

“A picture before we go?” You asked, nodding towards the mirror. “Wouldn’t want to forget how good we look.”

“Of course.” He agreed, smiling as he took a step towards you.

You grabbed your phone from the bed, pulling up the camera as he positioned himself behind you. His hand landed just above your hip, his fingertips resting near your stomach as his palm cupped around your side. His seemingly expensive watch was displayed perfectly in the frame, making you wonder if he was also using you as a showpiece for his own personal gain. You turned your head towards him, looking upwards at his face. He was considerably taller than you were, so he had to look down to meet your gaze. You gave him a smile, which he returned with little hesitation. You rested your hand just below his and you raised your phone to your chest, centring it between you two and pointing it at the mirror. You snapped a few pictures, looking down at the screen to check if they were sufficient enough to post.

“We look good together,” he noted, his hand still lingering on you.

“We do.” You agreed, biting back a smirk.

‘Don’t get used to it.’ You thought, heaving a little sigh.

“Ready?” He asked. You gave him a nod, slipping on a pair of heels you’d placed by your bed. Without any further conversation, the two of you went to the front door and walked out. You locked it behind you while he started towards his car, opening the passenger door for you. You settled into the seat, noticing the overwhelming scent of cologne still lingering in the air. It was nice, but not nearly as delicious as the one Jake wore so often. You had to stop comparing the two; yes, you were intending to piss Jake off, but you did not want to be stuck in a constant state of wanting him anymore. As much as you were using the boy to make Jake angry, you were also hoping that when the night was through, you would no longer be stuck on him the same way you had been for the last week.

“I’m really glad you agreed to go out with me.” He said, backing out of your driveway and pulling you from your thoughts. “I’m really glad you reached out at all, actually:”

“I am too,” you smiled “it’s going to be really nice to catch up. I haven’t seen you since… well, high school.” You chuckled.

“Yeah,” he nodded, starting the short drive to the restaurant he’d made reservations at. “If I’m being completely honest, I always had a crush on you back then. Guess I was always too scared to say anything.” You tried your best to hold back a grimace at his words. After spending so many months with someone who was all but shy about his feelings, cowardice seemed to turn you off. If Jake were the one sitting in the drivers seat, he already would have told you how badly he wanted to take your clothes off (only after praising your beauty, of course). Now faced with someone who was nearly shaking at the thought of calling you pretty, you missed the blunt nature of his words more than anything.

“Well, I was a bit preoccupied, anyway.” You tried to ease the tension, regretting bringing up your ex the moment the words left your tongue.

“Yeah, that’s true. He was a dick, and I’m glad you got away from him.” He said, turning onto the highway without another word. Your stomach churned at the thought of him, and there was a rush of fear that flooded you. It had been so long since you had associated with someone who knew your ex husband, and you had forgotten how peaceful it was to be around people who did not know he existed. “You look stunning, by the way.” He wanted to change the subject, realizing that talking about your ex while on a date may not have been the best idea.

“Thank you.” You gave a soft smile, looking from him to the phone sitting in your lap. It was time for phase two of your devilish plan. “You look good too.” You said as you picked up your phone. You unlocked the screen, scrolling through the pictures you’d taken moments before and carefully choosing the one where you looked the best. You edited the lighting slightly on your camera app to make it look even better before opening Snapchat. You chose the picture from your camera roll, picking a heart sticker and shrinking it down so it just fit over his face. You hit the ‘post to story’ button, biting down on the inside of your lip as anxiety began to plague you.

Within seconds, the picture was uploaded. Before you even looked away from the screen, you could see that someone had viewed the image. You had your doubts that he’d seen it so quickly, but there was an incessant nagging in the back of your mind to check and see, just in case. You loaded the story, swiping up to see the view list, and sure enough, Jake’s contact was the only name on the page.

‘Let the game begin.’ You thought, unable to hold back the smirk as you locked your phone again.

“So what have you been up to, Scott?” You asked, turning your attention back to the boy behind the wheel. You could feel your phone vibrating against your leg, but you did not care enough to check it just yet.

“I went away for school for a while, then decided to come back home when I finished. My parents had a hard time with me living so far away, and I guess I did, too.”

“That’s sweet.” You smiled, trying not to notice the prickle of sadness that filled your heart when he spoke of his parents. “What are you doing for work?”

“I’m an accountant at my dad’s law firm, now.” You almost forgot he came from money, nodding along as he inadvertently told you all about his generational wealth. You had no idea how it slipped your mind as you were sat in this years newest Audi model, and the Rolex on his wrist was blinding you every time the street lights pooled in through the windows. “I don’t think I need to ask you, though. You’re one of the most popular photographers in the city, now.”

“Some would say that.” You chuckled. “Not sure if I would agree.”

“I would.” He cut you off, not willing to take argument on the fact. “Your work is really good.”

“Thank you.” You felt your cheeks redden at the sentiment. For a moment, you let the guilt get the best of you. You almost asked him to turn around and take you home, needing to confess to your sins and repent for the fact you were only using him for your own benefit. Then, the moment passed as soon as it came. You did not need to tell him and risk hurting his feelings more; you just had to sit through the night and make civil conversation, and maybe share a kiss or two. The thought wasn’t terrible, even if you’d rather be kissing someone else. When you parted ways at the end of the night, you would thank him for the fun. In the morning, you could tell him a half-truth and confess that it wouldn’t work, and you weren’t ready for a commitment like you previously thought.

That would solve it all, right?

You hadn’t thought it all through yet, and you could admit to that. But, you were good at thinking on your feet, and you were certain you would be able to get yourself out of the mess you were making.

“I remember in high school, you would always walk around with that big clunky camera from the yearbook committee. You took pictures of everything, all of the time.” He chuckled. You were only slightly embarrassed at the memory, but you chose not to respond. “I thought it was cute, and I think it’s really cool you’re still doing that. You have to do what makes you happy, right?” He glanced over at you, his dark hair offsetting the paleness of his skin.

He was incredibly attractive, and you could not deny that. His skin was soft, smooth and inviting. A small, slutty part of you wanted to reach out and touch him, but you refused to allow yourself the pleasure. His hair was soft, shaved down on the back of his head and faded perfectly into the longer hair on top. It was black, and looked perfectly silky, tempting you to run your fingers through it. His smile lit up his whole face, the upturn of the corners of his lips (which were soft and pink, the sight alone sending a flutter to your stomach) made dimples appear on his slightly blushed skin and crinkles form by his eyes. His arms underneath the suit jacket seemed strong, and the veiny hands that gripped the steering wheel aided the assumption.

The suit he had on was perfectly tailored to his body, probably with the funds lining his wallet from his fathers law firm. For a second, you forgot why you had asked him out, focused only on his blinding beauty.

Maybe he was exactly what you needed to forget about Jake, and you wondered if should use that to your advantage. His hands seemed like a perfect distraction, and his mouth seemed even better. A single night didn’t seem so bad, and the longer you thought about it, the harder it was to ignore the ache growing between your legs.

But, your anxiety got the best of you yet again. You feared you would end up in an even messier situation than the one you were in already; in love with someone and in bed with another who seemed overly enamoured with you. A love triangle was not what you needed, but it seemed like you had opened the door for it amidst your struggle to feel better. Then, your mind soured when you realized that Jake had likely fallen into bed with the girl from the bar. For all you knew, she might be with him right now, laying in his bed and giggling at his jokes. The thought sickened you, and you looked back at your company for the night.

Whatever happened was meant to happen, you deducted. You would not encourage anything, but who were you to stop it if the opportunity arose?

“You have to do what makes you happy.” You agreed, shooting him your first genuine smile of the night.

What would make you happy, you had no idea.

Surely not by having meaningless sex with a boy you’d seen for the first time in nearly a decade, especially after having such meaningful sex with Jake for so long. You were confused, and you were hurting. Your internal debate was chipping away at your psyche, but you looked too good and you were too committed to the bit to back out now.

When he pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, relief flooded you as you realized you wouldn’t have to continue on the conversation of happiness and how to find it. Before the two of you made your way inside, you felt your phone vibrating intensely on your lap, signalling an incoming call. You rolled your eyes, glancing down at it just long enough to see Jake’s name on your screen.

You sent the call to voicemail, looking quickly over the text messages that had been filtering in non-stop since you had uploaded the incriminating picture.

😈

Who the fuck is that?

😈

That text was immediately followed by a phone call, and when that went unanswered, he tried again.

😈

Answer your fucking phone y/n

It seems as though your plan was working fantastically, and against his better judgement, he had broken the radio silence without a second thought. The next step was simple, but probably the most effective one yet; you clicked on the notification bars, bringing yourself into the chat so the read receipt would show under his last texts. Then, you turned your phone on do not disturb and slipped it in your purse.

Jake hated being ignored, and you knew if he had such a volatile reaction to the picture itself, this would surely send him straight to insanity.

‘Checkmate.’ You thought to yourself, biting back a cocky smirk.

You did not think your plan through nearly enough, and disaster was looming overhead, just out of sight.

“Ready to head in?” You asked, shaking off the nervous jitters in your hands.

“Yeah,” he nodded, opening his car door. Before you could even unbuckle your seatbelt, he had walked to your side of the vehicle and opened your door for you. He extended a hand to you, which you accepted with a smile. He helped you out of the car, and once you were steady on your feet, he slipped an arm around your waist. You tried to ignore the flutter in your belly as he secured his hand to your hip and pulled you closer to him.

The two of you advanced towards the entrance. You stood back while he checked in for the reservation, and within moments, you were being lead to a table on the quieter side of the building. When you sat down, the romance in the room was immediately overwhelming. There was tea light candles lit around the table, and a large centrepiece with flowers and fairy lights sat directly in the middle of the table clothed with a white cloth. Menues were sat in front of you, and the waiter assured you he would be back in a moment to take your drink orders.

“Have you ever been here before?” He asked, looking at you over the top of his menu.

“No, actually.” You shook your head, catching his gaze. Your heart leapt to your throat, finding yourself lost in the dark brown of his irises. Then, your eyes trailed downwards, noticing a flash of toned muscle from underneath his collared shirt. He noticed your reaction, smiling at your intrigue. He had a gold chain clasped around his neck, accentuating the columns of his neck that lead down into his collarbones.

He was stunning, and in another world, you thought you might even pursue him further.

“It’s my first time, too. I’ve heard good things, though.”

“Yeah, apparently it’s the best in town.” You gave a nervous laugh, focused on his hand resting comfortably on the table. You thought it would look much better decorating your thigh.

“What do you want from this, y/n?” He asked, genuine intrigue plaguing him. You tried to swallow your anxiety as you formulated an answer. “You can be honest.”

“When I reached out, I definitely wasn’t expecting anything like this.” You said, truthful in your response. You had hoped, but you definitely did not expect it to go to plan so quickly. “I’m a busy woman, and usually I don’t do this. I was hoping to catch up, but I don’t know how committed I can be to anything serious.”

“I respect that.” He nodded, placing his menu down on the table again. “If I’m being honest, I just went through a pretty rough breakup. I may have jumped a little too quickly.” Your sigh of relief was audible, and quite heavy in the room.

“Me too.” You admitted, the confession weighing on your shoulders. It was the first time you had referred to what you and Jake had as a breakup, but it felt right. What you had was much closer to a relationship than anything else, even if it was not what you wanted to call it. You did not need to divulge into the details of the real reason you agreed to go on a date with him. You felt it would be too harsh.

“So we’re here as friends, and we’ll see how the night goes?” He offered, not seeming too upset about the conclusion. You stared at him for a moment longer, a smirk breaking out on your lips.

“You can say you want sex, Scott. We’re adults, we can be honest.” His cheeks heated at your words, but a smile did form on his face. “I would be lying if I said the thought hadn’t crossed my mind.” He seemed to relax in his seat, now comfortable knowing that he need not worry about impressing you as much.

“Okay,” he chuckled. “A friendly dinner with the intent of sex. No promise of anything more after that.”

“I like that better.” You grinned, also feeling the anxious feeling subside at the agreement. The two of you had drawn a line that both of you were happy with. “So your last girlfriend…?” You asked, treading the topic carefully.

“Yeah,” he laughed, nodding as you asked. “We were together for a while. Three years or so. Couple months ago, I came home and she was gone. All of her shit was packed up and when I called to check on her, went straight to voicemail. Never heard from her again.”

“Oh, wow.” You breathed, your eyes widening slightly. “I’m sorry, honey. People are the worst.” He shrugged, looking to the side as the waiter approached the table again. He ordered a bottle of wine, waiting until he walked away to speak again.

“Shit happens. Sometimes you just have to take it as it comes.” He explained, not feeling any need to go any further into it. “And I’m assuming your boyfriend was no better?”

“No,” you laughed, looking down at your manicured hands. “But I don’t think you could really call him my boyfriend, anyway. More like a guy who only showed up to make my life more complicated. I thought we were exclusive until we got into a fight, which I’ll admit was my fault. We made up when we ran into each other at the bar, then his date for the night showed up.” You gave a tight-lipped smile, the memory causing a bitterness to rise in your chest.

“People are the worst.” He reiterated your point, sending you sympathetic eyes.

“They are indeed.” You agreed.

“So am I on a revenge date?” He asked, picking up on your nervous stare. “It’s okay if I am. Either way, I’m still the one who gets to spend the evening with you.” He flashed you a breathtaking smile, showing his enthusiasm either way.

“When you put it like that, it makes me sound terrible.” You said, your cheeks burning red and incriminating you even further. You were terrible, and you deserved to be treated as such. Asking him on a date to piss someone else off was a horrible thing to do, and you never should have done it in the first place.

“Not if I support it.” He shrugged, thanking the waiter as he dropped off the bottle of wine and two glasses. He poured two for you both, sliding one in your direction. “Like I said, beautiful. I get to have dinner with you either way.” You reached for the glass, taking a long sip. Your red lipstick decorated the rim, claiming the beverage as your own. “Just friends is okay with me if you’d rather do that. I’m just happy to see you after all these years.”

“I’m happy to see you, too. You were always great company back then.”

“I told a joke or two every now and again.” He laughed, remembering his goofy stature and desire to be the class clown. You wished so badly that you could just get over yourself, to move on and enjoy the time you were spending with an old friend. You wanted to be done with Jake and lean across the table to kiss the incredibly attractive man who was smiling over at you, but you felt frozen in place. As nice as it was to be with Scott, and as much as you wished to purge Jake from your life, you could not seem to do it. The thought of kissing someone else nearly made you sick, which also brought you to the horrendous reality that it was so easy for Jake. He was not caught up on you the way you were with him, and you needed to understand that in order to get better.

“Do you remember when you super glued all of Mr. Barksdale’s stuff to his desk?” You giggled, recalling the memory fondly as you searched for a subject to change the conversation up.

“How could I forget? He turned as red as the dress you’re wearing.” He let out another laugh, this one genuine straight from his belly. You could not help but join, finding the sound incredibly infectious. “He was so mad at me, I thought I was going to get expelled.”

“We all did. He hated you.” You grinned, wiping tears from your eyes that formed while amidst the laughing fit.

“Let’s be honest, most of the teachers did. I was a little shit.” He said, leaning back in his chair to calm himself down. Once he recovered, he took a long sip from his own wine. “One time, I took all of the free condoms from the guidance counsellers office and put one on every door handle in the building.”

“Oh god, that was you?!” You exclaimed, causing him to let out another belly-laugh. The happiness floating in the air was real, and you did not need to fake the joy written all over your face. It was the first time in days you had genuinely smiled, and weeks since you’d laughed like you were in that moment. It was freeing, and it helped you realize that there was life after Jake Kiszka, just the same as there was before.

“It was.” He nodded, wiping away his own tears.

“I had to wash my hands every time I opened a door for like a week!” You blamed him, but you knew it was due to the lack of janitors employed at the public schools. “And they never bothered to replace the free condoms, either.”

“You went looking for those a lot?” He teased, still trying to rid himself of the fit of giggles.

“It was way more convenient than buying them!” You plead your case, not really caring about the joke at your expense.

“Right,” he nodded, exhaling a long sigh after gaining his composure. “You see? I’m always down for a little mischief. Plus, if you’re using me to make someone jealous, I kind of take that as a compliment. Means you think I’m cute.”

“I always thought you were cute,” you rolled your eyes. “Funny and rich? How could I not?”

“So shallow,” he let out a disaproving tsk, but he did not seemed bothered by your comment. “I think that being friends would be nice right now. Who knows, maybe in the future, it’ll work out in our favour?” He offered. “If not, I’ll still be happy to have you as a friend again. If I remember correctly, you were a fierce little sidekick to have, and a pretty good wing-woman.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Your voice was shrill, surprised at such a statement.

“Oh, come on!” He rolled his eyes. “You were the first to tell someone off if they deserved it. Remember Alex Kiser, that little asshole on the football team?”

“Of course I do.” You scoffed.

“He seemed pretty intent on making my life hell for years, and then one day when we were in the library, you got up in his face and said everything that you had on your mind. He left crying, and I don’t think he ever bothered me again.” Your cheeks burned at the memory, not realizing that your gall had been so memorable that it stuck with him that long after it happened. “And junior prom! You helped me make the poster to ask Rachel Miller, only after you talked me up for months when you sat with her in History class.” You finished your wine as he spoke, trying to hide the blush on your cheeks. When you sat your glass down, he refilled it for you.

“Okay, okay.” You groaned, hiding your face in your hands to save yourself the extra embarrassment. You hated thinking about your antics in high school.

“What I mean is, you were a great friend back then, and I’d be lucky to have you as a friend, now.” He said, reaching over the table and placing a gentle hand on your arm. You peeked at him through the cracks of your fingers, the blush still lingering on your skin. After a few seconds, his hand trailed up to meet one of yours. He locked a finger around your own and gently pulled your hand away from your face.

“Thank you, Scott.” You mumbled, averting your gaze to the white tablecloth. His eyes were too pretty to keep watching, and you feared that with another few sips of wine, you would end up making an even worse decision for yourself. “Friends would be very nice. I haven’t had many as of late. I think when I left Seth, I cut off everyone. Wanted to start over, and I did.”

“We can do friends, y/n. I’d love to be friends, actually.” He promised, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. “With a little jealousy on the side, of course.”

“Right, how could I forget.” You chuckled.

“Is it the type of revenge that makes him regret everything, or the kind that makes him angry enough to show up here tonight? Cause I can play both parts. I make for a phenomenal actor.”

“Oh yeah? You take up Drama Club in university?” You raised an eyebrow.

“No, but I did have to pretend to be interested in Macroeconomics for three whole months, and I promise you it was not easy.”

“You poor thing.” You smirked, your fake sympathy completely apparent.

“So what is it, sunshine? I’ll put on a good show.”

“Both, I think. I’m not sure what I want yet, or if it’ll even do anything.” You shrugged. “He seemed quite uninterested at the bar that night.”

“Have you checked your phone yet?”

“Not since we came in here.” You admitted, not shy of the fact you had been completely immersed in his company. You pulled it from your purse, turning on the screen to see if he had tried to message you again. Your eyes nearly popped out of your head at the amount of notifications piling on the screen.

“Seems like it’s working.” He smiled. “You think another picture will do him in?”

“I think it might give him a heart attack,” You muttered, letting your eyes wander over the few words you could read from the notifications. He was pissed, and in some strange way, it made you feel good. “Let’s do it.” You said, unlocking the screen and ignoring everything Jake had to say about your night out on the town. You opened your camera again, looking around the table while thinking of the best course of action.

“If you’re looking for a movie-style blowout, I suggest putting the menus in the picture.” He offered.

“You’re a genius.”

“Evil genius,” he corrected, positioning both menus under your hands that were already intertwined. Without moving too much, he moved the wine bottle so it was in clear view of the camera too. “My only stipulation is that we have to go for lunch soon, just so you can tell me how it went.”

“Are you playing wingman, now?” You questioned. He gave a sheepish smile and a shrug of his shoulders.

“I was kind of hoping that you might let me have the pictures too, so maybe I could do the same.” He explained. “Not to get her back, but I know me going on a date with an absolute smokeshow would definitely piss her off.”

“Of course.” You laughed at the universe, finding it perfectly comedic that the two of you would be going through such similar things. Hand in hand, you snapped a few pictures of the sight while ensuring the restaurant name was easily recognizable. You fixed up the image, adjusting the brightness and contrast before opening Instagram and uploading it to your story. Once it posted successfully, you shoved your phone back in your purse.

“Now we wait.” He said, almost excited for what was to come next. He’d loved attention, and he was always ready to be the star of the show.

“What if he hits you?” You said, finally realizing how poorly the night could go.

“I can take it,” he promised, no real fear over a fight. “So what’s he like, anyway? He must be something special to have you so enamoured with him.” A sad smile crossed your lips as you thought of a good answer, unsure of exactly how to word it.

“He is.” You muttered. “I gave up on dating and romance, and when I met him, I still felt that way. But after a while of spending every day together and doing things that I’ve never done with anyone else, it started to feel normal. It was more strange when he wasn’t around. I fell without even realizing it, and I was in way too deep before I could even admit it to myself. He turned my world upside down, and he made me feel things I never thought I would feel again, but he took it away too, and I don’t know how to move on from it. I don’t know what to do, or how to act, or anything.” You sighed, suddenly realizing all of the incriminating things you’d said. You looked up, plagued with guilt for talking about another man so intensely while on a date, but he was only smiling at your words.

“You can’t let that go, y/n.” He said, catching your eye to show his sincerity. “After everything you’ve been through, you deserve the love you always should have been given.”

“Stop,” you waved him off, overwhelmed with the profound statement.

“Does he make you happy?” He asked.

“Yeah,”

“Do you want to make it work?” You had to think about it, but eventually you gave a nod.

“I think I do, but I don’t know how.”

“If he feels the same, you’ll figure it out.” He promised, taking another sip of wine.

“Do you want me to pay for the wine? I feel terrible about how this turned out.” You laughed.

“Of course not,” he scoffed. “I’m having a fantastic time. You can buy lunch when you catch me up on all of the details.”

“Sounds like a deal.” You grinned, happy that he was so understanding. Before you had the chance to speak again, your attention was grabbed by a loud voice booming over the sound of soft classical music and low chatter. It sounded once, and you thought you might be able to ignore it. You couldn’t make out what it was saying, and it did not seem like the disturbance would continue. You took another sip from your wine, finishing off the second glass before you tried to continue the conversation.

As the bottom of the glass touched down on the table, your gaze shifted to the newest excitement in the room. Your stomach dropped and your eyes grew wide. You couldn’t find the words to communicate with Scott, so instead you gave his leg a gentle kick under the table to warn him of the fact that Jake had indeed cracked the code, and was pissed off enough to show up and get the answers he so desperately needed. Before your date could even catch on to what you were trying to tell him, Jake was close enough that his cologne was suffocating you and you could see his chest heaving with anger.

“Get up.” He ordered before he even stopped in front of the table.

“Jake, what the-“

“Get the fuck up, y/n. We’re going home.”

“You can’t just show up and tell me to leave.” You scoffed, still trying to digest the fact that he was in front of you. Part of you thought that the picture might push him too far, but a bigger one believed that he did not care enough about you to let it bother him that much. Now that he was in front of you, clearly dressed to impress you and outshine your date (or, his new-found enemy, rather), you could not seem to grasp the fact that after everything, he still wanted you. He sat up at night thinking about you, wondering if things would ever get better. He tossed and turned, hating that his bed still smelled like your shampoo, and he sat by his phone every minute of the day waiting for you to reach out. He wanted you just as much as you wanted him, but for some reason, it was too surreal for you to accept it.

“I’m not asking.” He made that point abundantly clear.

“Hey, man, I don’t mean-“

“I’m not fucking talking to you, am I?” Jake’s head turned sharply towards Scott, an abundance of anger pooling in his eyes. If Scott cared for his own safety, you hoped that he would heed the warning.

“Fuck off, Jake.” Although you had poked the bear, you were having a hard time finding any sympathetic feelings for his distress. You knew that he might show up, but it did not change your naturally strong personality. You lived to fight with him on every stance he took, and now seemed no different. His harsh approach and cocky tone were pissing you off more by the minute.

‘Who does he think he is? Showing up after days of no contact, demanding I go with him? What a-‘

“I’m not going to say it again,” Jake spoke, cutting your thoughts short. “Get up, go outside, and get in the car.” His dangerously low voice sent a shiver down your spine. “I promise that you do not want me to have to repeat myself.” He caught your eye, the look familiar and more chilling than it ever was before. It made your thighs squeeze together instinctively, the need for friction on your aching core more dire than anything else you were feeling in that moment. You had no fear that he would hurt you, but you knew that once the two of you were alone, punishment would be due. If you survived the horrific aftermath of the fire that was blazing in both of your hearts, of course.

“Maybe she’d cooperate if you weren’t talking to her like a fucking dog.” Scott cut in, finding Jake’s tone too strong for his liking. He was not battling for your affection, but he did not care for the way he was speaking to you. He stood, ready to get between the two of you, but Jake turned on his heels so fast that it made your head spin. Scott was easily a head taller than Jake, but despite the physical difference, Jake was holding all of the power.

“You don’t get to talk to me about her, ever.” He took a step closer, fuming at the thought of your name on his lips. His finger was pointed at him, pushing into his chest further with each word he spoke. For a moment you feared that he might strangle him, realizing the look in his eye was far more dangerous than you’d ever seen before. You stepped towards Jake, placing a delicate hand on his shaking arm. At your touch, he immediately relaxed and lowered his hand.

“Let’s go.” You said, pushing Jake towards the door. After a moment of a staring contest between the two, Jake allowed you to nudge him in the right direction. As you walked behind him, ensuring he wouldn’t turn around, you turned your head back to look at Scott, sending him an apologetic stare. He raised an eyebrow, silently asking if you were okay. You gave a nod alongside a subtle wink, which he returned after he was certain you were okay.

When you managed to get Jake to the front door, the strength in which you were holding his arm increased in an angry fashion. In the parking lot, you felt the need for damage control flee you, and your own pent up rage began to surface. “What the fuck was that about?” You let go of his arm with a little more force than intended, pushing him forward slightly as your hand disconnected from him.

“Who the fuck was that, y/n?” He said, turning around to face you with the same fire burning in his eyes. “And why the hell are you on a date with him?”

“I think you lost all rights to ask me that.” You warned, scowling at his forward questions. “Who I spend time with is none of your business anymore, and neither is my dating life.”

“None of my business?” He hissed, stepping towards you as he spoke. A cloud of wrath was forming around the two of you, locking you in and locking the rest of the world out. There was no escaping it even if you wanted to. “You are my business. If you’re safe, if you’re happy, all of it, whether you like it or not!”

“Oh, yeah, because you’re so concerned whether I’m fucking happy or not!” You exploded, throwing your hands out and landing your palms flat on his chest. In a sudden burst of emotion, you pushed him backwards, causing him to stumble. “It sure meant a whole lot to you when you were practically fucking that ditzy blonde in a booth in my bar!” He was stunned at your words and the strength in which you delivered them. “You don’t get to show up here and ruin my night and then pretend you fucking care, because you don’t and you never have!” You pointed a finger at him, uncaring of the grand show of emotion in the middle of the parking lot. “You apologize and tell me how much I mean to you, you have sex with me in the bathroom because you can’t wait until we get home, and then you make out with someone else in front of me all night!” Your voice cracked with tears, all of the hurt you’d been feeling pouring out at once. “Did you just say all that so you could fuck me? Or so you could leave it on good terms while you left for someone better?”

“Y/n-“ he warned, stepping forward again.

“Shut the fuck up and let me talk!” You begged, tears pooling in your eyes. “Was that all I was to you after all? Sex and somewhere to sleep for the night? Were you just keeping me around so you didn’t have to be alone while you looked for something else? Someone with less baggage, someone who’s easier to deal with than I am?” He reached up, grabbing your wrist tightly in his hand while his eyes warned you to back down.

“Get in the car.” He said, his voice as quiet as a whisper, but as impactful as a punch.

“I don’t want to go home with you, Jake! I just want to know the fucking truth, and then I never have to see you again!” His grip only tightened as you spoke.

“Get in the car, and I will answer your ridiculous fucking questions.” He tried again, keeping his cool because he knew that you were hurting much more than he was. The wine was clouding your mind, making your chest ache more than it ever had, and allowing you to make a fool of yourself in the public parking lot. “We will talk about this once I get you home safe. I’m not letting you get in a cab like this, and I need to know that you’re going to be okay.”

“Stop pretending that you care!” You tried to shake out of his grip, but he was much stronger than you. The longer he continued the act, the worse your heart hurt. You were confused, tipsy, and more than anything, heartbroken. You could not allow yourself to believe that he cared this much, and every time you let yourself second guess your doubt, the picture of him kissing the blonde at the bar plagued your mind.

“I’m not pretending!” He finally reached his limit, yelling back at you with just as much force. “I would never lie to you about that. If you know me at all, you’d know how much you fucking mean to me!” His voice cracked too, but he did better than you at covering it up. “Now get in the car, and then you can yell at me, and you can hit me, and you can scream all you want.” He was not willing to negotiate; his eyes were heavy with anger and his expression was stony. With a huff, you pushed past him, but you did as he asked and you climbed into the passenger seat of his car.

You slammed the door behind you, tossing your purse on the floor as you crossed your arms over your chest quite like a child amidst a temper tantrum. He got in the drivers side, closing his door with the same force as he shoved the keys in the ignition. Within seconds, he was pulling out of the parking spot and began driving down the streets to bring you home. You kept your mouth shut despite wanting to fill the stale air with cruel words and harsh insults. As he drove, you tapped your foot against the ground to pass the seconds until you were home.

You had not thought your plan all the way through; you wanted to hurt him, to piss him off and make him feel all the same ways you did at the bar that night. When talking with Scott, the prospect of making Jake angry enough to show up at the restaurant was intriguing, and definitely thrilling. Once the adrenaline wore off and you were left alone with the rotten feeling that had been steadily growing in your heart, you realized you did not want to see Jake at all. Having him in front of you reminded you of all of the feelings you were trying to bury, and seeing his face only made you fall in love with him even further. You were so angry with him that it made your head spin, but you cared about him so deeply that you were sickened at the thought.

Love itself is a funny thing after all, for not even the devil himself could understand it.

Jake's knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel, unable to hide the intensity of his emotions. When you allowed yourself to peek at him from the passenger side, you could not help but feel enamored with his face, even if wrath was wrapping itself around every feature that he had.

It almost drove you crazy, the seriousness etched into his stature. The downturn of his lips, leaving just the ghost of his earlier scowl would be off putting to some others, but you found beauty even in the midst of his pain. The furrow of his eyebrows was minimal, but you were drawn into the tiny wrinkles it left on his tanned skin. His eyes were black with anger, and he was almost unrecognizable.

To anyone untouched by the devil, the man before you would strike fear. To you, submerged and nearly buried underneath the sin, his wrath was like a drug. You could feel it seeping under your skin, igniting every nerve with flames and striking the match for your own. The devil within you fed off of his wicked heart, and his own evil did the same with yours. Between you was empty space, stale air that did not even hold a whisper of relief from the deafening silence. From nothing grew an unholy feeling. There was no room in the vehicle for anything lesser; the euphemisms and illusions you had previously drawn about his lack of morality no longer fit the narrative. Satan himself sat beside you, horns growing rapidly and his skin blistering red. You could not fear him, because when you turned to look out the window, you noticed your reflection and saw the pitchfork in your own hand as your eyes turned black as night.

The sin had finally caught up, and not even a priest could excise the demons from the two of you. Salvation was no longer an option, and the only thing left to do was face the devil within yourselves. The seventh, and the deadliest capital vice was begging to be heard. It was bleeding you both dry, the wrath so abundant that it was replacing all of the blood coursing through your veins with its own ferocious fury. Wrath was sewn into your skin, tying knots around your lips and blinding you with rage. It was wrapped around your neck, choking you and laughing as you begged for air. The two of you had done so much damage that you had turned yourselves into the personification of evil itself.

Walking away was the safest option, but after a lifetime of running, staying was the only thing the two of you wanted to do.

How pitiful to learn the lesson only after it manifested itself to be lethal.

“You’ve got nothing to say, now? Only want to fight with me if we can cause a scene?” He asked, flipping on the turn signal with nearly enough force to break it clean from the car.

“As if you need any help getting attention.” You rolled your eyes, muttering it to yourself. “As if I’m the one who fucking caused the scene in the first place.” You said the second part louder, stronger so he could hear the disdain in your voice.

“Like you weren’t trying to start something by posting those pictures.” He growled, the memory striking him particularly unpleasantly. The thought of another man’s hands on you was enough to drive him to violence. “Sorry, I forgot that I always have to be the bad guy.” He added, his grip tightening even further on the wheel as he turned off the highway.

“Would you fucking quit with the pity party?” You exploded, finally turning towards him. “Do you really think that you’re innocent? From what I understand, exclusivity doesn’t mean very much to you. If it did, you wouldn’t have been finger-fucking your side piece at the bar while I had to sit and watch!” The obscenity of your words didn’t even phase you, your anger so flaming that you were willing to say anything to get under his skin. “Or is it only okay when you do it, Jacob? You can fuck whoever you want, but I have to sit there and stay loyal to someone who doesn’t fuck about me! I’ve done that once before, but you’re not nearly special enough for me to want to do it again!”

“You didn’t stay and let me explain myself! I was only with her because I didn’t know how else to get your attention! You make me fall in love with you, and then you push me away. Then you tell me you care about me, and you walk away!” He brought his hand back, slamming it back down on the wheel with an intensity that made your head spin. “If you weren’t so fucking stubborn, maybe we would have went home together instead!”

At the sound of the guilty confession, your world came crashing down around you.

Your worst fear had been spoken into existence, and you weren’t sure if you could survive the grief plaguing you.

“Yeah, it’s all my fault Jake.” You nodded, attempting to blink away the tears that were falling faster than you could comprehend. “It’s my fault that you broke the only promise I ever asked you to keep, and it’s my fault that I didn’t tell you I loved you after I explicitly told you that I don’t do that, and it’s my fucking fault that instead of being an adult about it and talking about your feelings, you buried your dick in another girl!” You slammed your fist against his dashboard, your emotions piling up so high that a physical release was the only way to calm them down. “It’s all my fault, and I’m just the fucking worst! God forbid you take some accountability for your own stupidity!” Your hand slammed down again with every point you made, the ache spreading up the entirety of your arm. For a moment he feared you might set off the airbag with the strength you were using to hit the dash.

As you retracted your hand from the scene of the crime, he pulled into your driveway. You rubbed your knuckles, soothing the ache in your bones until the car rolled to a stop. As soon as it did, you were unbuckling your seatbelt and opening the door. You grabbed your purse as you stepped outside, slamming the door before he could try to stop you. But, he was fast, and he was not willing to let you lock him out. He shut the car off and was hot on your trail before you even made it to the front steps. You fumbled with your keys as you tried to unlock your door, and when you finally saw the inside of your house, relief flooded you. You stepped inside, moving quickly to try and keep him out, but his hand collided with the door as you tried to shut it in his face.

“Take a fucking hint, asshole.” You spat, pushing against him.

“I’m not done talking!” He argued, barely straining as he rivaled your strength.

“I am!” You cried, begging him to understand. “I’m done talking, I’m done fighting, I’m done, Jake! I can’t fucking do this anymore!”

“I’m not letting you go, y/n.” He said, calmer than he was moments before. “I’m not letting you walk away again. I won’t walk away again.”

“Stop it!” You exploded, dropping your arm from the door in a moment of pure weakness. You were too distracted by the moment to remember your vow to keep him locked out. His words were too much, and it made all of the strength flee you and the pain grow larger. More than anything, it made your already poor judgment cloud even more. “Stop doing that, Jake! Stop hurting me and then telling me you care. Stop trying to be what we both know you aren’t!”

“What, y/n?” He scowled, his jaw clenched so tightly you feared he might pop a blood vessel. “Say it! Say the word! Stop being so fucking afraid of it!”

“You’re not my fucking boyfriend!” You yelled, reaching your breaking point. With that, he pushed the door open and stepped towards you. He reached out, landing one hand on your hip while the other one cupped your cheek. He kicked the door shut with a force as he leaned forward, capturing you in a kiss. The change in pace made you weak in the knees, but his advance was not unwelcome. The anger that was so evident in his features had been causing a mess between your legs since you first laid eyes in him.

The kiss was messy, both of you still fighting for control. He continued walking, keeping a firm grip on your hip so you didn’t lose your balance. You stepped in time with him, letting him lead you wherever he pleased. When your ass landed roughly against the lip of your kitchen counter, your stomach began to twist into knots. He pulled back, his chest heaving with the remnants of anger and now, desire.

“You’re right, angel. I’m not your fucking boyfriend.” He said, his expression completely foreign. It was like a stranger was standing before you, but it was not making you fearful; you were aching to know this version of him, and you wanted to know him as intimately as the situation would allow. He seemed like a man gone mad, all humanity gone from his eye and sex being the only thing that held any value to him.

For once, sex was finally the only thing the two of you were concerned about. No love, no respect, and not even any kind of affection. It was purely primal, and comfort was the last thing he had in mind.

But even more so than that, sex was the only way the two of you knew how to communicate, and he was using it to his advantage.

“I’m not even your friend.” He said, his eyes dark with lust. “I’m just sex to you, yeah?” His fingers were burning into your hip, leaving trails of blistering fire on your skin as they wandered to your thigh, settling just under the hem of your dress. “That’s all I’m good for, right sweetheart?” He moved his hips towards you slightly, but with force, causing your ass to press further into the marble countertop. You let out a gasp of pain, the sting radiating deep into the muscle as the solid surface settled in at a bruising angle.

“Y-yes.” You thought you could keep up the act, but his eyes intently focused on your own were sending you into a downward spiral of love for him. He was the whole world, and you were just living in it. You couldn’t lie enough to cover the fact, even if every word you spoke for the rest of your life was laced with dishonesty.

“I’m just something to help you get off,” he continued, his hand slipping under the fabric of your dress. “To fantasize about when your fingers are playing with that tight little cunt?”

“Yep,” you said, more confidently than the last time.

“Good to know,” he growled, pulling at the fabric of your dress until he heard the seams pop. You were so enthralled in his performance that you could not even find the will to care. “Now I can fuck you like a whore, and I don’t have to feel bad about it.” With that, he gave another hard tug and the stitching on one side of your dress came loose completely. It slumped from your body, falling around his hand in a pathetic heap. He let go of it, letting it fall to the floor without ever breaking eye contact. “If sex is all you want, I’ll fuck you just like you deserve.”

You wanted to fight with him; the anger was still bubbling under your skin and begging to be let out, but now that you were naked in front of him and his eyes showed unwavering dominance, you fell back into the roll with ease. He watched your face, not searching for discomfort, but obedience. This was not a debate, and you did not even pretend to hold any of the power. He slid his belt from the loops on his dress pants, folding it over on itself and gripping it tightly in his hand. Slowly, he placed the leather against your bare thigh, looking down as he slowly pulled it across your skin. The light tickle sent a shiver down your spine and you found yourself staring at his face, wondering what was running through his mind.

Had you pushed him too far?

Was he really stopping the whole conversation just to fuck you?

You were confused, and still incredibly hurt, but the arousal pooling between your legs was undeniable. There was so much that needed to be discussed, but the longer the minutes dragged on, the less you cared about working it out.

He reached out with both hands, his grip holding on your hips. In one swift motion, he lifted you and placed you on the cold countertop. You jumped at the sudden chill that ran through you, but he did not comment, nor did he even seem to notice. With little warning, he snaked his hand between your legs and roughly pulled one to the side. His eyes were still focused on your cunt, his gaze never faltering. He didn’t want to look at your face; he didn’t want to see the contempt you held for him in your eyes, nor did he want to see the pain he caused any longer. He couldn’t look you in the eyes and face you like a man; he was angry, and hurt, but most of all, he could not forgive himself for how much he’d hurt you.

“You want to act like a whore, I’ll treat you like one, angel. Taking guys out on dates just to piss me off, posting pictures and ignoring me when I call…” he brought his hand to your heat, running his fingers through the wetness and spreading it to your clit. “If you wanted me to come over and fuck you, all you had to do was ask.” He said, his tone eerily calm. His middle finger tracing agonizingly slow circles around the sensitive nub, making your want to buck your hips forward into his hand for more. You needed him the same as the starving need food, but you were unwilling to sacrifice your dignity while showing him. “Or did you want to take him home? Have him between your legs like this, trying to make you feel as good as I can?”

You were faced with two options; tell the truth and fuel his ego, or lie and make him even angrier with you.

You were foolish to think that the devil would ever allow for the truth in your godless relationship.

“I did.” You replied, causing him to look up and finally meet your eye. The animalistic look was enough to drive you crazy, but you stayed put, pretending that the emotion in his eye did not phase you at all. “And I know he would’ve done it better than you can.” At that, his fingers stopped all movement. His grip tightened around the leather belt in his hand, tempted to use it, but knowing that it would not change your attitude. Instead, he gave you a smirk, fake but effective.

“You think he can fuck you like I can?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. You held back a frown when he moved his hand away from you, completely cutting off contact. “You think he can make you feel better than I can?”

“Yeah, I do.” Your false confidence was astonishing, and even you believed it yourself for a moment.

“Okay, angel.” He nodded, taking a step back from you. He reached down and grabbed your purse that fell to the floor, opening it and grabbing your phone from inside. He dropped the bag to the ground again and tossed the phone on the counter beside you. Your stomach twisted with anxiety, wondering what he was doing. “If you think he can do a better job, call him. I’ll go home, and he can finish what I started, but I’ll be waiting for you to text me, asking me to come back because he couldn’t fucking do it right.”

You were appalled at the thought, but not because of his cockiness. That was normal now, and not often did it phase you. You were sickened at the thought of having someone else do what you so badly wanted Jake to do. Hours ago, you had convinced yourself that hooking up with another guy would help ease your pain, but now that Jake was in front of you again, you could not stomach the idea of another man touching you the same way.

He watched your face, taking in your shocked expression. He was bluffing; he would not let anyone else touch you like this in a million years, and he definitely would not hand out the invitation himself. His hope was that you realized that he was what you wanted, and not the guy you went to dinner with. He knew you well enough to know that you would never do such a thing, which is why he was confident enough to offer the idea. When you didn’t respond, he let out a low chuckle.

“That’s what I thought.”

Damn him and his ability to see right through you.

“Now shut your fucking mouth and behave yourself.” He said, taking a step back even further. “Since I can’t do it right, you can get yourself off.”

“Jake-“ you protested, unhappy with his decision.

“I don’t want to hear another word. YouI’ll do as you’re told.” He cut you off, giving you a stern warning. His nostrils flared slightly with anger, and the muscles in his jaw were tense. You bit back a snarky comment, clearly upset by his ridiculous request, but you let your hand sink between your legs anyway. He moved back towards the counter opposite of you, leaning against it and crossing his arms over his chest while he watched you run your own fingers through your folds. He still had his belt clenched tightly in his hand, making sure it didn’t stray too far. You knew he was itching for a chance to use it, and you couldn’t deny your own desire to feel it across your skin. You could see the erection growing in his pants, tenting the zipper and straining the fabric. You wanted him more than you ever wanted anything in your life, and sitting there touching yourself while he was so accessible was equal to torture.

Then again, that was his intent; he did not want to please you like he was often eager to do. He was angry with you, and when you anger the devil, punishment is not only expected, but ensured.

“Like this, sir?” You taunted, slowly trailing your middle finger to your clit, tracing slow circles around it. You wanted praise, but he wasn’t generous enough to give it to you. Even more than that, you wanted to push him enough to make him do the job himself, rather than sit and watch. He did not respond, but his eyes were intently focused on your hand as you touched yourself. Beneath the rage still lingering in his gaze, there was a sense of longing for you. He was torturing you, but he was doing the same to himself by having to hold back.

Since the night at the bar, he hadn’t been able to get the thought of you out of his head. Worse yet, he couldn’t forget the feeling of being inside of you, your cunt clenching around him as you dissolved into a mess below him, desperate for an orgasm. Being near you was like getting a fix of a drug he’d been withdrawing from for weeks, and he wasn’t sure if he could handle watching you get yourself off. There was a small fear inside him that he might come undone at the sight of you in pleasure alone.

You anchored your arm on the counter behind you, holding your weight on the single limb as you leaned backwards, allowing him a better view of the show you were putting on. You added more pressure to your finger, feeling your breath hitch in your throat as a wave of relief washed over you. You kept your eyes on his face, only allowing yourself to look at his cock strained in his pants every so often, knowing that it would only make your neediness worse. His gaze was still locked on your hand, and his chest was deeply rising and falling with every breath he took to calm himself. He was irresistible, and you did not know if you could keep going without as much as his hand on you in support.

“Oh, fuck.” You gasped, feeling a pressure begin to build in your belly. It was nothing like how he could make you feel, but it was something, and that’s all that mattered. Progress, even if it was slight, meant that you were a little closer to him taking over for you.

“That’s it, sweetheart.” He unraveled his arms from across his chest, reaching down and adjusting himself in his pants to relieve some of the pressure. “Listening isn’t so hard, is it?”

“Fuck off,” you rolled your eyes, still working your way up to an orgasm.

“Watch it,” he warned, unhappy with your sharp tone. “You’re lucky I’m even letting you get yourself off.”

“Oh you’re so generous.” You scoffed, your hand still working at yourself. The angry banter seemed to be helping your search for a climax. “Jake the hero! He’s just so fantastic and everyone should bow down and kiss his feet! I’m so happy to do all the hard work for you, thank you so much.” You grumbled, trying to keep your words as nice as you could despite wanting to tear a strip off of him. You were still angry, even underneath all of the sexual tension, and you were a bomb waiting to explode. You feared that if he pushed you just a little too far, the night would come to an end without any sexual gratification at all.

“You’re going to start with me again?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he stepped towards you.

“Can’t take it?” You asked, a bit breathless from the pleasure pulsing through you. Your cheeks were tinged red from the feeling, and from the anger still simmering from earlier. Your skin was sticky with sweat and you were growing more desperate by the second. The sight of your struggle made him smile, knowing how badly you wanted him to reach out and touch you.

Once he was within an arm's reach, he settled himself between your legs again as your fingers remained in a steady pace on your clit. Before you could speak again, he drew his arm back and brought the belt down on your thigh. You let out a hiss of pain, instinctively trying to shy away from him, but his hand shot to your hip to hold you in place. Once you calmed down from the initial shock, you relaxed into his hold, surprised that he hit you as hard as he did.

“One chance, Angel.”

“W-what?” You asked, distracted from the rapidly changing environment.

“Tell me what the fuck your problem is.” He said, looking down his nose at you. In that moment, you could see his humanity return to him again. He cared so much, but he was sick of scaring you away by loving you. This was his only way to get you to tell him what was wrong without you running away. He’d been waiting for the opportunity to come all night, and he wasn’t letting it pass him by. “Get it all out now, ‘cause once you cum, I get my turn.” You were dumbfounded, unsure of how to respond to his request.

“You want me to berate you while I get myself off?” You questioned. “That’s a little fucked up, even for you, no?” Your tone was airy even after you tried to maintain your composure. The pressure in your belly was unbearable, but you slowed your movements to allow yourself some time.

“I want you to get rid of that fucking attitude.” He corrected, grabbing your cheeks between his forefinger and his thumb. “Look at me and tell me what’s wrong. I want to hear all of it, and don’t you dare stop touching yourself.”

“All of it?” You clarified, hoping he was being serious and you weren’t trapping yourself. He gave one curt nod, showing you he meant what he said. You withdrew a long breath, gathering your thoughts before you began. “You’re a selfish, ignorant prick, Jake. You promised me that you wouldn’t fall in love and fuck this up, and then you did it anyway.” You huffed, finding your temper hard to keep up while looking into his eyes. “And when I told you I wasn’t ready, you played the victim and told me I was only good for sex. Why do you think I was scared of dating you, hmm?” You pressed, waiting for him to answer before you continued. When you were met with nothing but a harsh stare, you continued on, anyway. “Because I was fucking terrified of you lying, or believing you when you say all of that stuff just for you to change your fucking mind, and you proved me right!”

“Mhm,” he hummed, allowing you to continue.

“A-and… oh, fuck.” You groaned, your eyes fluttering closed for a moment as an intense wave of pleasure ran through you. “And I went to that bar that night to forget about you, but you showed up, and I cared about you enough to be the bigger person and apologize. I felt like I was taking a step in the right direction, and I was finally able to move past all of that fucking trauma and fear. I felt good, I was happy, and when we left that bathroom I was ready to take the next step.” You confessed, the words weighing heavily on the both of you. Your mind was hazy, and you weren’t sure if you would have said it all if you were in a proper state of mind. “Then I got to meet your date for the night, and it got me thinking that all men really are just the same. I wondered if it was me, if I was too much, or if there was too much baggage, or if I was too complicated for you to handle. I cried to your brother about you while you sat in that booth and made my worst fucking nightmare come true.”

“Keep going.” He encouraged, placing his belt on the counter and moving your hand out of way. It broke your focus, the sudden loss of contact devestating for you. Then, he moved his hand in place of your own, slowly pumping two fingers into you and letting his thumb drift over your clit. A moan broke from your chest, filling the air with desperation amidst the despair.

“S-so I left, and I promised I was done, but I can never just be done with you, can I?” You hissed, squeezing your eyes shut as the feeling in your belly grew stronger. “I decided to get back at you, so I took Scott on a date to try and forget about you. I taunted you with those pictures to make you feel the same way I did, but I worried it wouldn’t work because you don’t care about me the same way I care about you.” He let out a quiet noise, almost sounding astonished that you could believe such a thing, even while he was trying to make you feel good while you berated him. “Then you showed up, and for a second I believed I had it all wrong. You cared enough to be there, to come and find me and try to win me over, but then I was just mad. I’m not your property Jake, and I’m not your problem.” You had to stop, feeling yourself teetering on the edge as you spoke. You waited for a moment, focusing on not cumming so you could say all you needed to feel better.

“You don’t get to pick and choose when you love me, and you don’t get to decide when I’m ready for something. You don’t get to choose when I’m someone you love, or when I’m just good for sex. You don’t get to make me fall for you and then take another girl home with you!” You could feel tears rising in your eyes despite the pull of pleasure from his hand. You were surprised that you could speak so much emotion so clearly while he was working so intently at your cunt, but the emotional turmoil was much more pressing than the sexual tension. “You don’t get to tell me I mean something to you and throw it in the garbage. You don’t get to mean this much to me and also have the power to take it away.” He heard the quiver in your voice, and it nearly shattered his psyche.

“It’s okay, Angel.” He muttered. “You’re okay.” He promised, moving his fingers at a more precise angle. “Cum for me, beautiful.”

“Don’t do that, Jake.” You stopped him, hating how badly you loved hearing the sweet words. It was too much. He was too much. It was all too much for you, and you feared that you were crossing a line you would never be able to come back from.

“Get used to it.” He snapped, leaning forward so his forehead was resting on yours. He couldn’t handle your denial any longer; both of you felt the same way, even if you refused to admit to it. Love was surrounding you completely, and you knew it long before he took your clothes off. The only reason it hurt so bad was because you loved him so much, and if you did not care it would never have mattered. “I’m not going anywhere.” He said, a little softer but still harsh enough to offset the sweetness.

“F-fuck,” you gasped, stuttering over your own profanity. It was exactly what you wanted to hear from someone your entire life, that they were there for good and they wouldn’t leave your side, but somehow when it came from his lips in the way you’d always longed to hear, you could not allow yourself to believe it. The orgasm was right there, and you could no longer hold it back. You were slipping over the edge, and he wasn’t helping. His hold on your face softened, but his fingers were still burning into your skin, leaving a mark for the rest of eternity.

“That’s it,” he crooned, rocking his hips forward into nothing. He was so desperate for relief himself, but he wouldn’t allow it until he was sure you were satisfied. Your hand reached out for his arm, your fingers locking around your bicep as your other arm snaked around his neck, pulling him closer and holding him tightly, ensuring he could not slip away. “Doing so good for me, baby.”

Your muscles tensed and your legs shook with the intensity of the euphoria. No pain existed within your mind anymore; it was filled with thoughts of Jake, and the sweetness of his face and the warmth of his eyes. For once, the thoughts invading your mind had little to do with the sexual desire between you both, and everything to do with the yearning of your heart. The pleasure came from him being close, and the prospect of spending the rest of your life doing the same thing with him and only him.

You were too far gone, and there was no way you could surface from the experience the same as you were before you descended into it.

Love had blossomed, infiltrating every second of your day and every fibre of your being. It was so plentiful that it altered your DNA and changed your entire outlook on life. You were nothing but in love, and the moment was so beautiful that it almost sickened you.

When you came down, your mind was foggy and your eyes were begging to stay closed. You were exhausted, but he was only just getting started. As soon as you relaxed against him, you felt him remove his hand from your cheeks. He unbuttoned his pants, pulling them down along with his boxers just enough to free himself. He grabbed your hips with both hands, pulling you to the edge of the counter with a strength that made your head spin. He hiked your legs around his waist and let the tip of his cock rest on your entrance before going any further.

“I didn’t plan to fuck anything up, y/n.” He said, making sure you were listening. The softness he held seconds before was gone, now. It was his turn to air out his feelings, and he wasn’t going to miss the chance. “Falling for you was the last thing I wanted to do, because I knew it would leave us here. You don’t get to sit here and call me names, because you’re not a fucking saint, either.” With that, he slammed his hips forward, catching you completely off guard. You let out a yelp, his cock hitting your cervix and sending an addictive type of pain through your entire body. “You’re the most stubborn, self-assured, snarky woman I have ever met in my entire life.” He listed, clearly showcasing that your time to talk was over. “I hate it, but it’s so fucking addicting that I can’t stay away.” He growled, pulling your hips forward as he thrusted into you, making the impact all the more intense. “You don’t get to be angry with me for caring about you, because you’ve been doing all of the same things.”

“I get to be mad about whatever I want!” You argued, but he pulled you down on him again, cutting your thoughts off completely. The sound of skin on skin was too much to bear, and suddenly, you felt like he was wearing too much clothing. You reached your hand between the two of you, grabbing a handful of his shirt where the last few buttons were joined together. You gave a hard tug, and the buttons popped free from the threads holding them together. It didn’t even phase him for a second, and all he did was pull back for long enough to shake it from his arms.

“It’s my turn to talk.” He said, bringing his hand to your throat, his fingers locking around your neck like a gruesome decoration. He did not apply any pressure, but kept his grip there as a looming threat. “You broke my fucking heart, too.” At his words, your chest ached with a fervor you had never felt before. Hurting Jake was the last thing you wanted to do, and hearing him say it out loud broke you beyond recognition. “Do you really think that I took her home that night?” He asked, his hips still moving at a brutal pace. “That I even wanted to entertain that any further? That I even wanted to kiss her that night? You really think I would ever touch anyone else like this?”

“I… I don’t know.” You whined, your stomach twisting into knots at the pleasure he was granting you.

“You are the only thing that has ever mattered,” he huffed, looking down at your face, admiring the way your expression was telling him how good he was making you feel. “The only reason I invited her was to get your fucking attention, and I forgot she was even coming after I went to the bathroom with you.” You couldn’t respond, too immersed in the euphoria of being so close to him again. You did not realize how much you missed the feeling of him on your skin until he was touching you. “Then you walked away, like you always do, and I thought that was it. I thought I’d never see you again.” He was struggling to get the words out, but he continued on anyway.

“Then you post those pictures, posing like a fucking whore with some other guy to get under my skin?” He spat, his anger clear in his tone. You had hurt him perhaps even beyond how much he hurt you, and you could finally see it. You weren’t so blinded by your own pain that you could ignore his. You were both so blinded by pain that you had convinced yourselves that you hated each other. “You thought you were going to bring him back here and let him see you like this? That I would let you get away with it, let someone else put their hands on you?” He was growing more intense the longer he spoke, but it was so intoxicating that you did not realize how dangerous it was. “This is all for me, sweetheart. Don’t you ever think otherwise.” The possessive claim made you weak, and could not even voice how blissful the thought of being his forever was. His fingers tightened around your neck, finally beginning to cut off the blood flow to your head. “Did you think that he could even come close to me?”

“No, sir.” You rasped, his hand stopping most of the words, but you still managed to speak them so he knew the truth.

“He could never make you feel this good.” He spat. “Nobody could, Angel. You can lie and say that you don’t love me, but you can’t fucking lie to me about that.” His fingers constricted around your neck again, making your vision go blurry and your head feel light. Your entire body felt like it was floating, but you had no fear.

Just the same as it was the beginning, you knew that death at his hands would be the most pleasant experience of your entire existence.

Without warning, you descended into pleasure once more. You tried to withdraw a breath, but you could not get any air in. Your legs were locked around him, trembling with the intensity of the climax. You tried to reach an arm out to tap him, but you were so strung out in euphoria that you couldn’t summon the strength to do it. When you thought you might slip away into unconsciousness, his fingers loosened around your neck, never willing to push you too far. Even as angry as he was, your safety was the most important thing to him. Instead of the harsh grip he previously held, his fingers massaged against the sensitive skin as you filled your lungs with air. You coughed for a moment, sputtering on the oxygen that you’d been deprived of, and eventually your body relaxed from the stimulation. His hips were still moving, but you were nearly too fucked out to care.

Without any warning, he pulled out of you and slid you from the counter and onto your feet. You were completely at his disposal, but you had no fear that he would mistreat you. You trusted Jake completely, even if you didn’t want to. He spun you around, bending your top half over the counter and grabbing a fistful of your hair. Within seconds, his cock was back inside you and his hips were continuing their earlier page, this time with much more freedom.

“Tell me, sweetheart. I want to hear you say it.” He ordered. You felt a slight stutter in his movements, realizing that he wasn’t far behind you. He was holding on by a thread, and he was desperate to hear your praise, even if he would never admit it.

“Only you can make me feel this good, Jake.” You groaned, so exhausted that the words barely made it past your lips. “Nobody else could ever come close to you.”

“That’s it, baby.” He sighed, reaching around to the front of you and moving his hand between your legs. His fingers settled on your clit, now adding more stimulation to your already tired body. You tensed against him in response, your walls clenching around him and pulling him even further. “God, you’re so fucking tight. Take my cock so well.” Your knees went weak at the sound of his filthy words. “Give me one more, sweet girl. I know you can do it.”

“I can’t.” You shook your head against his hold on your hair. “I can’t do it.” You pleaded with him to see reason, but Jake had never been one to take no for an answer. You knew you could come again, but you feared that your body would not be able to handle it. Even as you doubted it, the pleasure was steadily rising again, begging you to let go and give in to the temptation.

“You can, and you will.” He barked, still feeling some residual anger coursing through him. The movements of his fingers sped, and if possible, became even more precise. Your whole body felt like it was on fire and he did not let up for a second to give you a break. He was pushing you to the brink of insanity, and he didn’t have a single regret about it.

“Fuck, Jake.” You cried, squeezing your eyes shut as an even more intense pleasure took over. You had surpassed any level of care, and you were practically screaming as obscenities fell from your lips, mixed delicately with his name. He coaxed you through the orgasm, muttering praise as he held you steady on your feet.

“That’s my girl.” He groaned, the sinful noises driving him even closer to the edge. Before you came down from the high, you could feel his hips stutter, his previous pace failing him as he descended into his own euphoria. His cock twitched inside of you, and he let out a slur of curses as he spilled his release into you. If it was even possible, the feeling of him filling you sent you into a whole other world of bliss. You tried to catch your breath as your body shook with the last few seconds of your orgasm, but your chest burned and your heartbeat pounded in your ears.

You had never felt like this in your entire life, and although it was fantastic, it was incredibly dangerous. You had finally sold your soul to the devil, and your repentance had only just begun. You feared that a lifetime of suffering would not be enough punishment for the nefarious acts the two of you committed.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” He breathed, slowly releasing his hold on your hair. You let your cheek gently fall against the countertop, the cool surface calming your burning skin almost immediately.

“Yeah,” you replied, keeping your eyes closed in hopes of regaining some energy again. He pulled out of you, but neither of you rushed to the bathroom to clean up. You could worry about the mess later; there were things more pressing than that, and dealing with the aftermath of your wrath was at the top of the list. When you felt strong enough to open your eyes, you pushed yourself up off the counter, feeling his hands softly running over the marks he’d left on your skin, destined to turn purple as a reminder of your sinful indulgences. You turned to look at him, leaning against the counter to keep yourself upright. He took a long look over your face, seeing the exhaustion written deep in your features. Underneath that, the pain was still lingering.

The two of you hoped that when you faced each other again, the burden of your mistakes would disappear and a new found peace would emerge from the rubble. Now, when you looked at him, it seemed like the pain was permanent and if anything, the suffering only grew stronger. He reached out, cupping your cheek in his hand, but not even the gentleness of his touch could satiate the raging hurt in your heart.

The damage was too plentiful, and you were certain that your relationship would never recover from the evil the two of you had turned to. The sin had caught up to you, and it was breaking you down further the longer you stood before him.

Again, the question remained unanswered; how much sin could you engage in until salvation is no longer an option?

“I’m sorry.” He muttered, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You wished that the feeling would take away all of the bad like it so often did before, but it only made your heart break even further. The longer his lips lingered on your skin, the more it made you want to cry. It wasn’t right, and it never would be. The two of you were disastrous together, and although the connection was undeniable, it was also lethal.

“I am, too.” You said, the quiver in your voice louder than any of the words you spoke. He pulled back, looking down at your face.

“Don’t cry, sweetheart.” He pleaded, unsure if he could handle the sight of you in tears again. “Let’s go get cleaned up, then we can talk.”

“Okay.” You nodded, knowing that the longer you waited to tell him the truth, the worse it would hurt for you both. Still, you let him guide you to the bathroom where the two of you tried (and failed) to wash away the sinful memories of the night.

You stood in front of the mirror, looking at the smudged mess of your makeup and the trails of mascara littlering your cheeks from the crying you had done. You did not recognize the person staring back at you, nor did you want to get to know her. She was empty, chilling when you looked into her eyes for too long. She was not the person you had worked so hard to become, and as you looked over your shoulder at Jake, you knew why.

His love was euphoric, but it was not good for you. It had changed your entire world, but it was not in any way positive. You were a stranger to yourself, and you saw the devil in your eyes, laughing at your own foolish ignorance. The things you had done for his love did not give you what you so badly wanted. Instead, it turned you cruel and vile, your motives twisted and hurting everyone in the crossfire. You wanted him so badly, but you knew you could not have him and maintain your peace at the same time. The two of you cared about each other so much that it was dangerous, and you could not risk everything you had worked so hard to attain.

Even as you came to your senses, you could not help but gaze at his face with a type of longing only felt in fiction. Your heart ached to be his, and your body craved to be in his arms. He was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen, but sometimes the most precious things can hurt you the most. Worse than that, the most beautiful things turn out to be rotten at the core. What you felt for him was so much stronger than anything you’d ever experienced, and in some ways, it was fantastic. What wasn’t fantastic was the things you were willing to do to keep him all to yourself. It was cruel and wicked, and you did not want the evil to take over your entire soul.

Even as you fought the idea, a small part of you knew that you were too far gone to be saved.

His arms reached out for you, landing on your arms as his fingers trailed over the smooth skin. He stepped towards you, placing a kiss on the top of your head as he reached for the pack of makeup wipes on beside the sink. He grabbed two from the package, and turned you to face him. Wordlessly, he wiped away the makeup staining your skin, but he could not work fast enough to rid you of the tears that did not want to stop falling.

You were already grieving him, and he wasn’t even out of sight yet.

You had always been fantastic at ruining a good thing before it ever happened.

“Is that better?” He asked, dabbing away the last bit of mascara on your cheeks. The coolness of the cloth soothed your skin, but it did not make you feel better at all. You weren’t sure that anything would.

“Yeah.” You lied, giving a weak nod against him. He discarded the used wipes in the trash, grabbing your hand and leading you out of the bathroom. He nudged you towards your bedroom, and you followed his guidance without complaint. Once you were in the safety of your room, he grabbed two of his shirts from the drawer of your dresser you had given him for his clothes.

The thought alone pained you, knowing that soon enough, it would go back to an empty compartment that served as a reminder of your own failures. You were not ready for Jake to become a stranger again after knowing him so well.

He tossed a shirt in your direction, which you caught and threw over your head. You would worry about returning his clothes to him another day, knowing that the pain was plentiful enough tonight. He changed into his own, comfier clothes and took a seat on the edge of your bed. He held his hand out to you, beckoning you to come and join him.

“I’m sorry I said all of that stuff.” You said, trying your best to sit away from him on the mattress, but gravity seemed to be pulling you towards him. “You’re not my boyfriend, but you are worth way more than sex. And you’re not selfish, either. If anything, I think that I am.” He was not your boyfriend, but you both desperately wished he was.

“It’s okay, angel.” He assured you, reaching for your hand and intertwining your fingers with his. “I’m sorry, too. You are worth the whole world, and you’ve always meant more to me than sex. I never should have said that, either.” He confessed, wishing that he never said such harsh things about you.

“I’m also sorry that I hurt you. I never wanted to. I thought I was protecting myself, but all I was doing was making things worse. Scott didn’t mean anything, either. He was an old friend from high school, and I only took him on a date to piss you off.” You muttered, looking down at your hand in his.

“She didn’t mean anything, either. I did the same, and I shouldn’t have taken it that far. I was hurt and stupid, and I didn’t know how else to deal with it. I felt like you didn’t want me, so I just wanted to feel like someone did.” His transparency was haunting, especially considering you were going to hurt him all over again. You were prolonging the inevitable, and you were terrible for doing such a thing to him.

“These last few months have been… everything to me.” You confessed, feeling more tears stain your cheeks. “More than I ever thought I would have again. I’ve been so mad at you for breaking your promise, but I think I broke it first. It’s not fair, and I wish that I could deal with my feelings better.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” He turned towards you so he could see you better. “We can figure it out together.” He promised, but the look in your eye made him regret the sentiment immediately. He knew what was coming just as well as you did, but he so desperately hoped that he was wrong.

“No, we can’t, Jake.” You whispered, holding back a sob begging to break free. “All we know how to do is hurt each other.”

“That’s not true, angel. Come on.” He pleaded, hoping that you would at least be willing to hear him out.

“Look at us,” you replied, begging him to see reason “we’ve been avoiding falling in love so much that we’ve gotten comfortable with hurting each other instead. I thought that after we talked it out, or after sex we might feel closer and all of that pain would start to go away, but it’s not. It’s still here, and it’s telling me that you and I need more than what we can give each other. The games and the avoidance and the fear… It’s not getting us anywhere.” You bit down on your lip, stopping it from quivering from the strength of your emotion.

“We can make it work. If we try, we can do anything, y/n. I would do anything for you.” He said, pained at the thought of leaving you again.

“When I said I don’t fall in love, I said it for a reason. It’s not because of you, and if I’m being honest, you are the easiest person in the world to fall in love with. It’s because I’m not good at it Jake, and I’m not good for you. I’m going to hurt you more than I can ever give you anything good. I’ve got too much history, too many problems… you don’t deserve that. You deserve the world, and I can’t give that to you. I can’t be selfish anymore. I can’t do that to you.” He reached up, wiping your tears away while he tried to process your words.

“Y/n, you are the world. I don’t want to try with anyone else, because a million bad days with you are worth way more than one good one with someone else.” The sweetness was killing you, and you had to stop him before he took it any further. You were always weak to his power, and this time, you were even more susceptible to it.

“I want that too, Jake, but I can’t.” You stressed the same point. He sat for a moment, drowning in the sorrow but unwilling to push you any further.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” He asked, voice so quiet it barely broke through the air.

“No,” you shook your head. “I don’t want it, but it’s for the best.” You closed your eyes, wishing you could feel differently about it. You wanted him so badly, and you wanted to make space in your home for him to be there, too, but you couldn’t. You were too afraid, and your fear had always paralyzed you. It was your biggest weakness, only second to Jake, now.

“Okay.” He said, holding back his own tears. It was killing him, but even if he did not agree, your comfort came first.

“I don’t want to lose you.” You said, making sure he knew that you still wanted him around. A selfish being could not fully rid themselves of the burden, and selfishness was all you knew when it came to him. “We’re just getting good at being friends, and I would really like to keep it that way.” You were lying; friends was equal to torture when all you wanted was to love him.

“I can do friends, angel.” He promised, but it was empty. He did not know if he could do it, but he was willing to try. Having you as a friend was better than not having you at all. “Can we just… Can we wait? I’m willing to try, but not yet. I just want to be with you right now.”

“Okay,” you breathed, nodding in agreement. You didn’t want him to leave yet, either, and you were willing to take as much as you could get, even if you were loving him on borrowed time.

The two of you fell back into the mattress, and he wasted little time pulling you into his arms. What normally would be a joyous moment now seemed bleak, drenched in despair. He didn’t want to leave, and you did not want him to have to repair damage that someone else had done. You were too hurt to be loved, and he loved you too much to see your hurt. The sin was plentiful, and this time, it had destroyed the two of you down to the core. You had done so much damage and repair was not an option, and you hated the fact that the universe did not want to allow the two of you to be together. In another life, the two of you would love each other more intensely than the world had ever seen.

Wrath had shattered the last bit of humanity the two of you held within your hearts. It was in his jealousy, and your revenge. It lived in your hurtful words and harsh truths, but most of all, it was plentiful in your own self-reflection. You had never hated yourself more than you did in that moment. You were angry with yourself for being so broken, and angry that you could not put your fear aside and let yourself love him. Most of all, you were angry that you were letting him walk away when all you wanted was to be held by him for the rest of your life. At the same time, he was furious with himself for ever hurting you at all and making you think that he would not do all he could to show you what you meant to him. He was angry for allowing you to let him leave, and angry that he was not strong enough to force you to let him stay.

Fury was the most abundant emotion in the room, followed closely by sadness. Above your heads, the seven deadly sins conjoined to force the two of you away from each other indefinitely. You had sinned too much to ever reap any rewards, and your wicked warpaths led you straight to your own demise.

Lust had driven you too him, and gluttonous you had become. Greed was not far behind it, but sloth ensured that you would never see the truth your hearts were trying to speak. Pride had stopped you from seeing him as he was, and pride had forced his hand in cruelty. Envy left you broken, and wrath had lead you to revenge. Now, you were cradled in the devils arms and awaiting your fate; god could no longer look at you and lead you down the right path, and your own salvation was out of your hands.

You prayed that the devil might see mercy and go easy on you as you tried to rebuild yourself from the evil mess you had become.

The hours passed and you stayed tangled in his limbs, with his hands in your hair and soft kisses placed on your skin. You felt better than you ever had, and you knew that nobody else in the world would ever love you the same as Jake would. You fought exhaustion, forcing your eyes to stay open so you did not miss a single second of his company. You laughed at each others jokes and shared sweet sentiments, recounting the months of happiness you had brought to each others lives. It was a dream come true, but dreams must always come to an end. When the sun began to peek through the darkness, you knew your time together had come to pass.

When he stood, your bed felt emptier than it ever had. There was a divot in the mattress from where he laid moments before, reminding you of all you were losing as he walked out the door. You stood with him, holding on to every last second that you could.

“So this is it?” He asked, wondering if you would change your mind.

“I guess so.” You replied, feeling your voice begin to shake with sadness again. If it was the right thing to do, why did it hurt so bad to do it?

“Friends?” He asked, clenching his jaw in hopes of holding back his own emotions.

“Wait,” you shook your head, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around him. He wasted no time doing the same, holding you with all of the love he could muster in his heart. Your head settled in the crook of his neck and his chin rested on the top of your head. The two of you sat for a moment, immersed in the comfort of each other's company. Before you let go, you leaned up and placed a kiss on his lips. It was sweet, drawn out, and telling of everything you did not have the strength to say. When you pulled away, you could see tears shining in his eyes from the early light of the sun. “Okay.” You breathed, in trance as his eyes burned into yours. “Friends.” His lips upturned into a smile, but it appeared more like a grimace.

“You were right from the beginning, angel. I never should have doubted you.” He said, his voice weak as he blinked away tears. If he had listened, he would have spared you both the pain.

“I’m so glad you did.” You said, making sure he knew you didn’t regret it. If he had listened, you never would have had the chance to know him at all. He placed a small kiss on your forehead, and with one last look over your face, took a step back.

“I’ll see you soon?” He asked, hopeful that you really did want to remain friends. He could not imagine how sorrowful life would be if he never saw you again.

“You know where to find me.” You left the invitation open, hoping that he would come back. You couldn’t understand the feelings flooding your chest. They were so powerful and abundant that it made it difficult to breathe.

“I do.” He nodded, stepping out of your bedroom to retrieve his shirt from the kitchen. “I’ll uh... I’ll buy you a new dress.” He chuckled, looking to the torn fabric on the floor.

“Don’t worry about it. It was worth it.” You gave him a weak smile.

“Alright.” He nodded, grabbing his shirt. “Goodbye, beautiful.” You wanted to say something back, but you were frozen. Dread filled you, leaving no room for anything else.

Why did you want him to stay?

Why did you want him to try and change your mind?

Why, if this was the best for both of you, did it feel like the world was ending?

The idea of him walking through the door was killing you, but you did not have enough courage to tell him to come back to bed despite wanting it more than anything else. You needed him to stay, to love you until you forgot about all the hurt that was plaguing you. You needed him, but you could not allow yourself to have it. Instead, you took in a shaky breath and nodded your head.

“Goodbye, baby.” You struggled to speak, your throat feeling like it was closing around the word and forcing it back down. You watched in horror as he walked to the door, opening it as he slipped his shoes on. He blew you a kiss, lingering for a moment too long. When you didn’t speak again, he stepped outside and the door gently fell shut behind him.

The grief hit you with such a force that you feared you would fall to your knees in anguish. You wanted to run after him, to tell him that you were wrong and the only thing you wanted to be good at was loving him, but you were frozen. You heard his car back out of your driveway, and you knew that it was over; you had to suffer the consequences of your own sinful desires and learn how to move forward despite them. It was the right thing to do, and you had to persevere through the pain to understand that you had done the best thing for the two of you.

But still, upon telling yourself that over and over again, you still did not believe it. Now that your house screamed with emptiness upon his departure, you felt like you had made the worst mistake of your life.

Perhaps the devil was not punishing you for your sinful endeavours, but rather the sin was standing in the way of seeing the truth once again.

With your head in your hands and your heart lying broken in the pit of your stomach, the heaviest realization thus far washed over you. You were wrong about him, and you were wrong about leaving him. Jake was not the enemy, nor was he the thing making your life harder; you were your own worst enemy, and all you had done since falling in love was stand in the way of your own happiness. You wondered if the Lord would ever forgive you and bring him back, or if you would have to suffer the punishment and spend every lifetime searching for him in everyone you met.

Hope was and had always been a feeble idea, and you had little desire to believe that life would work itself out again after making so many deals with the devil. Instead of running after him, you turned to your bedroom to hide away under the covers and begin your repentance that would take a lifetime to complete.

TAGLIST: @sacredjake @profitofthedune @thewritingbeforesunrise @sacredthethreadgvf @klarxtr @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @freefallthoughts @jaketlove @clairesjointshurt @ageofbajabule @dannys-dream @earthgrlsreasy @starshine-gvf @brujamagik @gvfmarge @ignite-my-fire @twistedmelodies @gretavangroupie @alwaysonthemend @edgingthedarkness @gvfpal @sinarainbows @writingcold @starcatcher-jake @literal-dead-leaf @takenbythemadness @gretasfallingsky @hsfallingsky @freyjalw @itsafullmoon @lyndz2names @blacksoul-27 @i-love-gvf @vikingsisthenewsexy @mp0801 @mindastreamofcolours @indigogvf @sparrowofthedawnsworld @jordie-gvf @cassy-face @highway-tuna @creadliz98 @dancingcarbon @do-it-jakey-baby @lallisonl

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vase-of-lilies · 10 months

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Sunday, Funday

❀ Mommies!WandaNat x Little!reader (f)

❀ MD/LG dynamics, fluff, forehead kisses🥺, featuring Pietro!

❀ Request: mommies!wandanat having a fun day with little!r

❀ A/N: Thank you for the request, @fragilepuppi! I have adored and absolutely loved all of your requests so far. So thank you so so much! Sorry it took so long to post, I had written it but just hadn't posted it yet! But I hope you like it! This is a part of the Into the Tiny Verse series:)

“Mommy!!!! Mama!!!!!! Its Sunday!!!!!!!” You happily whisper-shout as you jump onto Wandas and Natashas shared bed.

Unbeknownst to you, they were already awake, smiling to each other as they hear your pitiful attempt to be quiet in their room as you try to sneak up on them. Natasha is a spy, if she can hear a pin drop in a room full of talking and dancing people, then she can hear your soft pattering feet against her carpet.

Wanda on the other hand, she knew you were coming in for the soul fact that she is emotionally connected to you. Her telekinetic abilities sensed that you were awake, and in need of something but felt your presence come closer to her. She knew you were on your way.

Once you climbed onto your mommies bed, they pretended they were asleep so you could have the pride of giving them the element of surprise. Natasha smiled and kissed your forehead as you smushed your way in between her and Wanda, and you smiled up at her.

“S’sunday mama! We gotta go have fun!” What you meant by that was a tradition that Wanda and Nat started with you where every Sunday the three of you would go out to get ice cream and go to the secluded park that stark built just for you and Peter. Your favorite part of the park was the tire swing that was connected to the large weeping willow surrounding the park. You could swing on it all day if you had the chance!

Your mommies helped you get ready for the day, helping you into your favorite pink, ruffly dress, the one with the bunny eating a carrot on the front, sat your wiggly body down on the couch to help you get your shoes on, and finally your jacket that you were stubborn about putting on. “But m’gonna get hot, mommy!” You whined as Wanda gently pulled your arms through the holes of your jacket.

“Sweetheart, its raining outside and its only 60 degrees. You are wearing your coat or we will have to have a fun day at home.” Wanda said in a stern but gentle voice. You sighed and nodded in understanding as she zipped your jacket up to the top. The two women smiled at your appearance and took a sweet little picture of you, grumpy face and all.

“Alright, do you want Peter to come with us?” Natasha asked, and you immediately shook your head.

“No! Only wan mama and mommy,” you looked up at them and they looked like they were waiting for something else. “Please?” You finished, remembering to use your manners. Wanda smiled and held out her hand.

“Alright, just us three! Lets go get your ice cream, and then we can go to the park. Sound good my little one?” She says and eagerly take her hand, pulling her to the door. Natasha shakes her head with a chuckle and follows along, getting her wallet ready for all the sprinkles you want on your [your favorite ice cream flavor] cone you get. As you skip along the hallway, they look at you in adoration, taking each others hands as they walk behind you.

Leaving the compound was easy as everyone knew about yours and Peters ‘situations’. And with how powerful the avengers were, no one questioned what was going on. Sure some people gave judgmental looks, but they didn’t care. All it took to get someone running away was a glare from Nat and a glow-of-the eyes from Wanda. They took care of you and protected you with everything they had.

As you got to your favorite Ice Cream parlor, you smiled up at the ice cream man. He was your favorite person to see other than your mommy and mama, of course! His name you didn’t know, but all you knew was he gave you extra ice cream scoops when your mommies were not looking. Wanda knew him personally and gave him a hug every time she saw him. They kind of look alike… you thought to yourself. But you shook off the thought and continued to watch as he poured extra sprinkles onto your cone.

By the time you had gotten to the park, your face was covered in icy goodness and your hands were a sticky mess. Luckily Wanda was prepared and brought some water and soap, quickly cleaning you up before you went to play. Immediately when you were let go, you ran straight to the tire swing. It was like the playground didn’t even exist! Wanda and Nat followed you, knowing exactly what you were going to ask for next.

As if on cue, you ask “Mommy? Mama? Can you p’ease push me? Wanna go sup’ high!”

With a big smile, Nat takes the first push, Wanda sitting down on the swing first and you happily climbing onto her lap. She wraps her arms around your waist and holds you against her tightly, not wanting you to fall off. Natasha pushes you both, the swing starting to move front and backwards. Your belly filled with butterflies as you soared through the air on the swing, your smile never falling! Your mommies loved it when you smiled like this, not a care in the world. Nothing could stop you form being this happy in this moment. Except one thing…

“Ok little one, its time to go home,” Natasha said, an hour later as you were now swinging alone while Wanda sat down on the bench. Your brows furrowed and you shook your head, holding onto the ropes of the swing with an iron grip. Natasha sighed and slowed the swing down, thinking to herself how cute you are, yet how stubborn and unwilling to leave something you loved behind for a couple days.

“Noooooo, wan’ stay here forever…” you say weakly, getting sleepy from playing so long. Your mommies knew that it was time for your nap, and you knew it too but was having too much fun. Wanda gathered your things, and stood up. Walking over to the swing she knelt down.

“Come on baby, we gotta get you down for your nap. Look how sleepy she is, Nat I don’t think that Bubbles would be too happy napping alone at home.” She brought your stuffy into this and your eyes watered.

“Don wan bubbles to be alone!” You said, jumping off the swing and into Wandas arms. She smiled and gently kissed your head, letting you fall asleep in her arms as she carried you back to the compound. As your head laid on Wandas shoulder, Natasha watched over you two from behind you, watching you like a hawk. Your hand hung against Wandas back and Nat took that opportunity to clasp a charm bracelet around your wrist, a small token of their love to you, and a little surprise for when you woke up.

Opening your nursery door, you felt Wanda lay you down in your bed, and you whined. You wanted to stay with your mommies, and nap with them. “M-mommy mama….” They knew you were too little to form any sentences now, so they obliged to your silent command and took you to their bed instead, Bubbles’s fluffy paw clenched in your fist. As they laid down with you, Wanda smiled at your sleeping form, sighing as you finally hit your dreaming state.

“We need a better way to have her listen when its time to go…” Wanda said to Nat, who fully agreed with her.

“Until then, lets just stick with bubbles being lonely without her. She has the biggest heart and would hate to keep him waiting. I bet she will wake up and want Bubbles to have a bottle too.” Natasha chuckles and wraps her arms around you and Wanda, relaxing into the bed with you and her wife in her arms. All safe and sound.

#wandanat x reader #Mommy!wandanat x little!reader #Wanda x reader #Wanda x female reader #wanda x little reader #Wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x little reader #mommy natasha x little!reader #natasha x reader #nat x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #WandaNat x reader #Natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff #Wanda Maximoff #Little reader #into the tiny verse #the toy lion the scarlet witch and tiny in the wardrobe

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genevawren38 · 2 months

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I have so many thoughts surrounding what Fit and Bagi discussed about Phil on stream today, then Fit's realisation it might be the Ender King.

First of all; FitMC, you chef above the rest, you fucking cooked today.

Second I think Fit was our best chance of that connection being made because he is the one Phil has confided in the most besides his own kids. Fit was the person he grabbed when he was convinced he was seeing things. He told the anarchist about the birdhouse plot. He brought him *again* when he saw things his kids didn't see.

Fit, is quite possibly, the only one outside his immediate family that knows the most about the crow and he knows something is wrong.

And of course this is happening the moment before he is also being dragged off to his own mission, but he can't help but worry about Phil's kids alongside Ramon and Pac.

Because Chayanne seemed genuinely worried and Fit took it seriously. He knew something was wrong the moment he saw the duckie-wearing dragon child and how he was snarky but sorrowful with responding where their father is. Tallulah told him she's had better days, and you can tell the moment he focuses up.

[And its delicious. Whenever those cc's focus in, I sit up straight cause its so impressive.]

Fit has some of the most regular content on that server. He sees things and records them, filing them away for later in case he needs that knowledge.

So the moment it clocks in that Phil is being weird enough his children are being outspoken, he engages. They took him aside, especially, and opened up more to their Tio Fit than I have ever seen [except maybe Tallulah with BBH, who now has amnesia, and Bagi, though misguided has a good heart (thinks Phil is a Federation experiment)].

And he's made the best connections using his past knowledge and experiences.

Bagi helped with showing the crying obsidian and comparing it to the markings that spread across Phil's shoulders and back where the backpack hung, and I think that's when it clicked for Fit.

But he didn't want to tell Bagi because he isn't certain and perhaps he remembers Phil stressing this 'him' is dangerous. But the similarities have started to snap into place; especially with crying obsidian being a marker of the End Dimension, or at least drawing his thoughts that way.

Basically at the end of all of this; Fit had the best damn shot of making the connection based on lore from months ago and I am so fucking glad he did cause at least another Islander finally has a name for the fallen god chasing their crow.

I hope to God he or Ramon share this knowledge with another trustworthy source if an emergency comes up [Hoping on Bagi, Etoiles, Cellbit and Pac]. I have never been more proud to call that beautiful bald man one of my streamers, Veteran's Duo understand each other on a level no one else comes close too.

Yes they have their own important secrets. But, when they are themselves, they will trust one another to protect anyone effected if it becomes dangerous. It's been them since Day 1, between the regular visits and missions Fit is the closest brother in arms Phil has.

Despite the crow believing no one will care nor want to get involved due to the danger, Fit, Pac, Bagi and their families are all ready to prove them wrong. Phil sees himself as removed from the rest because he can be rather blind to affection and fondness, his self-blame not allowing him to acknowledge he is cared about.

But he is. And by Goddess will that server prove it, with Fit and Ramon at the front of the pack.

#wrenrambles #wrenwriting #qsmp #qsmp fitmc #qsmp phil #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tallulah #qsmp ramon #qsmp pac #qsmp bagi #ender king #qsmp lore #qsmp text post #qsmp liveblogging #qsmp etoiles

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arcana-xvi · 1 year

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Fear Not

Biblically accurate(ish) Angel descends upon a survivor of the Rapture. Thought it would be a fun perversion of the Christian mythos with some good eldritch horror vibes to it. Monster x Reader (F)

CW: Non/Dubcon, Monster, Breeding

When was the last time you prayed? Actually, really, truly prayed? You couldn’t remember, and perhaps now, amidst all the chaos and hellfire, all you could think of was perhaps you should have prayed more. Maybe then when the earth started shaking and the sky opened up to rain fire and ash across those left behind, maybe then you wouldn’t have been here– wouldn’t have had to see the horror and carnage that remained in a world abandoned by God and his legion. Still, there was hope to be had, if the rumors were to be believed. Angels descending from the heavens, finding those worthy amidst the end of days and taking them to what could only be believed to be sanctuary: Paradise above.

You stopped going to work, after all, what was the point now that a majority of the world’s population had vanished into thin air, and civilization had broken down to the point of riots and general panic? Instead, you stayed barricaded in your home to the best of your ability. Bookshelves and dressers, once containers for precious items and necessities, now turned into a blockade to keep your door shut against the hell that raged outside. You knew that soon you would run low on supplies, namely food and water, and would have to venture out into the kingdom of hell to restock…but that was a problem for later. For now, you were content to stay inside; keep to yourself; and, God willing, avoid drawing any attention from the desperate souls struggling to remain alive.

Time stopped making sense, nights and days blending into an endless blur of half-light and overwhelming heat or unbearable cold. It was cold when you decided you should settle in for some sleep, piling blankets and clothes on top of you to help keep in the warmth. You still weren’t used to the awful noise from outside, but with as exhausted as you were, sleep would come eventually.

When was the last time you prayed? Fuck that, when was the last time you spoke to another person; saw another person? You tried to remember the names and faces of your friends as you slowly began to drift off, something you had started doing every night to try and keep sane. It was your own form of counting sheep, and even though you caught yourself making mistakes here and there, it seemed to work well enough.

Perhaps it was the noise that woke you, if not then it was certainly the light. So bright that burrowing under the mass of covers you had assembled did nothing to block it out, but it was better than looking at it, or anywhere else for that matter. The light was painful, and while it didn’t burn, it hurt in a way you had never felt before. Your brain seemed to ache from it, your mind fraying at the seams from the sheer intensity of its brightness.

Fear not!

The words seared themselves into your mind. Silent and deafening at the same time. Seeming to drown out every other noise, yet keeping the still silence of your boarded up room intact. When your hearing finally returned and the ache in your brain subsided, you realized you had been screaming, your throat raw from the agony you expressed.

Fear not! It repeated, again directly into your mind, though not as intensely as before.

The light seemed to dim, at least to a level your eyes could handle, and you peeked beyond the hem of your cloth fortress. Before you, slipping into your room by passing through the wall as if it weren’t there, was a horrific beauty. A sphere of wheels, lined with countless eyes, shining with such intensity it could surely not have come from this world. No, you doubted that it even came from this universe, especially as it seemed to pass through solid matter without a trace. The golden wheels seemed to spin and rotate independently of one another without being connected to anything at all. Every eye rolled around in a random direction, seeing everything and nothing all at once. Flames that gave off no heat danced along the wheels, taking the shape of large feathered wings that curled and encased the entirety of the thing like a cocoon…or perhaps the wings simply had the appearance of dancing flames. It was impossible to tell, and the longer you stare the more it seemed like both were possible as much as they were impossible.

Within the center of the revolving, rotating, and spinning wheels was a mass. An undulating culmination of the impossible burning feathers. From within the mass peered out eyes of various sizes at seemingly random intervals. Though it never seemed to look directly at you, there was this unmistakable feeling that its entire focus was fixated on you, as if this being was devoted entirely to your existence alone. The pain in your head eased and gave way to a worrying placidity, as if your fear and fragmented thoughts had been smothered with a thick, warm blanket.

Fear not! O’ that same gloria rang out in deafening silence. What reason was there to be afraid of such a beautiful thing? A herald of creation, one of the chariots that pulled along God’s throne itself. Yes, fear not, because this was salvation manifest. The shining light of redemption sent down to you, and you alone. To be taken up to the eternal kingdom and know peace and love and life everlasting.

As you pulled yourself from your cathedral of rags and bed sheets, the eyes began to turn. Some slowly, some quickly, and still some lolling around before coming to land fixated on you. For the first time since its arrival it looked upon you directly, and from the mass of feathered flames that made up its core a single eye, larger than the others emerged. In its abyssal pupil you could see your reflection, marveled as you approached it slowly, reaching out a hand towards it.

Fear not, and come to know me. Fear not, and come unto eternity. Fear not, and know I am your end.

The thing let out a strange keening sound. You clasped your hands over your ears, but still it found its way inside. You felt your very bones trembling as the foundations of your world fell away. The ground dropped from beneath your feet and the walls torn away with the howling of divine wind. You squeezed your eyes shut trying to block out the maddening sight of the material world being reduced to abstract concepts, though too late. You had already seen it– already felt the way the physical world betrayed you and left you alone amidst nothing with this…this thing.

When the noise finally subsided and the sensation of everything you had ever known to be solid and true being torn away in a single breath had finally ceased, you felt yourself floating. Suspended in neutral nothing; neither warm nor cold. You dared to open your eyes and lower your hands from your ears.

It was there, as you knew it would always be. Its eyes upon you as it spread its wings wide, flaming feathers shining lightlessly into the nothingness. A permanent fixture in this empty world, and its attention was solely on you. The incomprehensible mass of feathers and eyes that made up its core shifted as it moved closer– or was it you being pulled close to it? It was impossible to tell in such a shapeless void, still, the distance between you and it began to close. The wheels began to rotate in such a way that you passed through them, coming close to the thing’s core. Its wings folded around itself in impossible ways, the flaming feathers collapsing inwards and wrapping both itself and you in a warm, plush prison of feathers and heatless flames.

Close now, you reached out your hand, moving felt like being underwater, but you were determined to touch it, to feel it. You only managed to brush against its feathers for the briefest of moments before your hands were wrenched away, pushed above your head, wrists held together by some unknown and intangible force. Dragging you upwards, the creature held you suspended in front of it by your bound wrists, like dangling a piece of meat for some beast to snatch up.

The keening noise rose again, blossoming from the center of its feathery mass, and you shut your eyes against it, though could no longer cover your ears. The sound washed through you, reverberating in every bone, muscle, and cavity that made up your mortal coil. It was uncomfortable at first, but then…strangely soothing– as if the soundless screech was being tuned just for you, adjusting its pitch and frequency to match you specifically. After a few moments fear began to melt away and it was…pleasing, almost pleasurable in a way. As it continued you somehow knew that this strange noise, this hymn, was meant for you. Specifically for you, as if your very name and soul were woven together in a single gloria.

Your muscles began to relax, and as you stared into its large central eye, you felt something shift. Movement from the corner of your eye, yet nothing was there except the eternal void which was now your home. Still, in your periphery you could see the movement, like a hand reaching towards you.

Be honored, child, to be chosen, to be so blessed by our touch. Fear not, for it is decided that your body will be Eden reborn.

You tried to interpret its words, so oddly cryptic was it when it spoke, but your thoughts were interrupted by a touch along your cheek. A hand– its hand, unseen but very clearly felt, stroked against your skin with such a delicate touch. It traced down your cheek and lightly danced along your jawline, moving under towards your chin where it lifted your face upwards. Unable to fight the unseen hand, you found yourself gazing into the abyss above, as you felt it gran your jaw with a strong, demanding grip. Tilting your head from side to side you could feel the gaze of legion burning into your skin, as if it were examining you.

Another touch, this one lower, tracing along the neck of your shirt. You knew that if you looked down you would see nothing, still you could feel it all the same. It gripped the fabric of your shirt and with a sudden, forceful motion pulled away the cloth as though it were simply paper.

You let out a gasp, shocked by the sudden forceful exposure only to have the grip on your jaw and wrists tighten, as if in warning as well as a show of its strength. Before you had time to speak another touch along your waist caused you to falter. It grabbed the waistline and, just as with your shirt, tore away the clothing with remarkable ease. There were four distinct places where you could feel its touch. Squeezing your wrists, holding your jaw, dancing along your collarbone, and now gripping your waist with what you could only assume was a hand, though the size and amount of fingers made you glad it remained invisible to you.

Panic began to set in. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, but as you tried to struggle, to pull your hands away and kick your legs, you felt more grip you– grabbing at your ankles, your thighs, your waist, your throat, your shoulders…so many monstrous hands holding you still, making you endure the examination. A scream built in your throat as you fought against it, struggling to pull free any part of yourself, but before the sound could pierce the air a heavy hand clapped over your lips, smothering the scream before it had a chance to fly free.

Fear not. It repeated, its unsettling amount of fingers and hands squeezing you tighter; pulling at you, exploring you. The hand on your throat squeezing, its many fingers digging into your soft skin causing you to gasp for breath. Tugging at the grip on your wrists you fought it all the while, though it seemed wholly unfazed by your feeble attempts. You could feel your heart beating frantically against your ribs, and worse still a wave of shame as your body betrayed you, the heat between your thighs becoming too prevalent to ignore.

Almost as if it knew, the thing pried your legs apart just as easy as it had torn away your clothing. Its gaze (or at least part of it) drinking in the sight of your undeniably wet panties. You felt a blush burn through your cheeks as you squeezed your eyes shut, a single sob causing you to jolt, though the sound died in your covered mouth like the scream before it. You could feel its hands crawling up your thighs, numerous and uncountable fingers stroking and squeezing the soft, sensitive flesh. Before you had time to really appraise the situation you felt more hands tearing at your camisole, ripping away the fabric with ease and exposing your chest to its wandering, piercing gaze.

Fear. Not. For the seeds of our future shall be sewn. You will be known as Eden; as Mother; as the Willow of Life. It seemed to growl within your mind, the words, once almost musical now seemed…discordant, unhinged…desperate. Its eyes went wild, jittering back and forth as it focused on everything and nothing at once.

Oh no, fear was there, most certainly. Your insides churned as you thought of its words. Garden, seeds, mother…tears burned your eyes as the pieces started to connect in your mind and what it intended to do. You tried to beg, plead with it. Words and screams snuffed out by its powerful grip on your mouth. You could feel its hands on your breasts, groping them forcefully. The idle thought struck you of the blooming purple blossoms that would appear as sore reminders of its touch. Such a strange thought to have, but the mind does strange things under duress. Suddenly the sensation on your breasts changed as the thing pressed what you could only assume were its palms firm against your nipples. The flat surface of the unseen hands seemed to churn and split, as if a pair of lips were opening there. You tried to pull away from the unusual sensation, but against its iron grip movement was but a distant memory of a freedom you once had. The strange mouths enveloped your nipples, unseen tongues and teeth and…feathers? Perhaps, at least that’s what it felt like, began to caress them, pull on them. Each action causing a shameful, unwanted throb to your pussy, further soaking your panties– which were by no doubt practically see through at this point with the amount of arousal that leaked from your twitching and anxious cunt.

You felt a pressure on your thighs, the being using its hands to push your legs apart further, almost painfully so. Tears streamed down your face as you attempted to thrash against it to no avail. It began to shift, its feathers of lightless flames ruffling and twisting as it seemed to bristle, its eyes lolling around aimlessly. You could sense it before you felt it, something massive between your thighs, obscene and perverse.

How long has it been since you last prayed? You couldn’t remember, but in this moment you began anew. Begging to God for mercy.

God? Fear not. God is dead. Abandoned us all long ago. We are God now. The Father rots as the Mother is chosen! There was hate as it spoke to you, such heavy, burning hate. You felt it, and where it touched your skin it seemed to burn and sting as if this thing could turn emotions into sensations.

It was then it dawned on you, through the flood of emotions and its reactions to your prayers. This…thing was an angel. One of God’s first children and holy host. Though at this moment, nothing seemed holy about this creature. It seemed crazed, so far removed from its former grace and purpose that all glory was replaced with madness.

You snapped out of your thoughts as you felt something press against your soaked panties. Though you couldn’t see it, couldn’t even try with how you were being held, you knew what it was. Screaming into its hand, your struggle found renewed vigor, desperate to pull away, to escape; however, it was useless. The beast was too strong, not to mention the sheer endless amount of hands it seemed to have. You felt the pressure against your panties grow more forceful, the blunt, rounded shape of its tip confirming the fear of what lay in store for you.

Without further warning or preparation, the Angel pulled you down, its thick rod smashing against your panties. With its strength and unyielding rigidity of its unseen cock, it managed to push its tip into your cunt, the fabric of your panties clinging to it as it stretched you slightly. The storm of panic raging within you intensified as it became clear this monstrosity was about to take you through your panties.

You attempted to bite at the invisible hand over your mouth, though it was impossible, not only were you unable to even open your mouth, but as you felt your lips move against the palm, it seemed to shift itself in such a way that attempting to bite it would prove impossible. Twisting and pulling your legs, trying your best to close them was just as futile. The burning stinging sensation you felt when its anger flared subsided, changing into a strangle, warm tingle. The more you struggled, the more intense the sensation became, as if it was enjoying the futile effort you put forth.

Once more it pulled you down onto its Angelic cock, pressing harder into your entrance. You could feel its arousal straining against the thin, wet material of your panties, slowly gaining entrance to your cunt. Then there was a sudden tear, you swear you could hear the fabric being shred as you felt the large appendage sink deep into your core. Another wail was smothered in your throat as your eyes rolled back from the overwhelming mix of searing pain and shameful pleasure.

The Angel shuddered, its large, inhuman hands pulling and squeezing at your body. You swear you could feel claws dig into your soft skin, and what could only be described as more mouths biting and sucking where its palms pressed against you. The burning, thick cock stuffed into your human cunt throbbed to a strange rhythm as it withdrew from you just a few inches before being slammed back against your cervix. You could feel your shredded panties clinging to his shaft, scraping your insides as it stretched your inner walls.

You had given up trying to scream at this point, your muscles giving out as that last thrust almost knocked the wind from you. Teeth brought searing pain to your nipples, and shamefully caused you to clench around the Angel’s massive dick. You felt a noise rumble in your throat, though not a scream, a moan. A vocal admission of desire and acceptance of what was happening.

It began to move more, faster, its cock pistoning in and out of you with an eager, primal need. Each pass of it caused your cunt to stretch uncomfortably, yet with a strange satisfaction– the animalistic desire to be filled, to be bred. The twin mouths on your nipples began to suck, pulling the little buds of flesh into a matching warm, velvety embrace. Heat flushed through your body, and you were all too aware of the liquid arousal that dripped from between your thighs– a glistening reminder of your body’s own betrayal. The creature sensed it, the reluctant pleasure that slithered through your core and blossomed outwards. Digging your nails into your palms you tried to fight it, tried to hold the waves of carnal delight at bay. You didn’t want this, didn’t ask for this…yet, to your disdain and chagrin, your body came alive at its touch.

Your skin began to heat where it touched you, searing warmth spiraling out and tangling with your own. It brought forth new sensations, unnamed feelings you had never before experienced, as if the Angel was sharing its own sensations with you. Your legs began to shudder in its iron grip, and you could feel your cunt clenching and twitching around large cock it continued to fuck you with. Through its touch you could sense how tight you were, could feel how soft your body felt in its hands and mouths.

The sensation began to change, heat gave way to a fluttering feeling. Every part of your body felt as though you were in a storm of feathers; each nerve bursting with sudden and fleeting feelings of pleasure, but these feelings were not your own. Horror set in as you realized what was happening, the creature’s cock began to swell and throb harder in your core.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block out the world, to retreat within and hide from the maelstrom of pleasure and pain and emotions, both your own and the sensations inexplicably shared by the monstrous Angel. Though try as you might, it didn’t stop from feeling every gloriously painful inch of its dick as it began to spasm and convulse inside you, the burning hot cum filling your insides with every throb and twitch.

The Angel’s orgasm pushed your body into full blown betrayal as your own, reluctant orgasm blossomed within, heat spilling out to every part of your body as you contracted painfully around the massive rod still inside you. You wished desperately to cling to something, have anything to hold onto, but amidst the storm of pleasure and emotion you had nothing but the bite of your nails into your own palms.

You felt a lurch, like your stomach dropping when you miss a stair going down steps, and the sudden rush of cold wind dancing over your sweat drenched body. There was something soft beneath you, lumpy and awkward, yet still soft. Eyes still shut, you focused on your breathing, fighting through the storm to find a moment of calm. Realizing how tired you truly were, how ragged and exhausted your body was from the carnal abuse it had just endured, you found yourself slipping and drifting into sleep….

“No!” You woke with a scream, clutching one of the many blankets to your naked skin. Panic slowly started to fade as you realized you were in your own house with the door still barricaded: alone. You fell back into the covers and ran your hands over your face…what the actual fuck was that? You didn’t know, it felt like a nightmare, quickly fading from memory. Though with how badly your insides ached, the strange, full feeling you carried in your lower stomach, and the 8 little red scars in your palms from your nails…you knew that there was no difference between nightmares and the waking world. Not anymore.

#arcana inscribes #HTBM #OverTheEdge #DDDNE #monster smut #monster x human #monster x reader #religion kink #horror smut

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r--kt · 9 days

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Kakashi — the man who cut the lightning

where did chidori and raikiri come from? already guessed what I'd say? yeah — cultural code!

contents | raikiri myth · thunder god's incarnation.

CH. 114

it's possible that this has already been written about before, but I just don't remember if I found out about it from tumblr or dug it up myself. anyways...

Raikiri myth

the name of the thunder god Raijin is associated with the story of a warlord Dōsetsu Tachibana, XVI century. Dōsetsu was in possession of a famous sword called 'Chidori' [ 千鳥, Thousand Birds ]. one day, while he was still a young man, he was taking shelter under a tree, as it was raining. suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck him. however, Dōsetsu used his Chidori to cut Raijin who was inside the lightning bolt, and it allowed him to survive. after this incident, he renamed his Chidori to 'Raikiri' [ 雷切, Lightning Cutter ].

what else can I say? is there at least something in Naruto that is not a war/regime criticism and not a cultural code? [ yeah, gay men ] this part of the post just doesn't need commentaries, it explains so many things...

Thunder god's incarnation

a bit about Dōsetsu himself. of course, you can't just relate him to Kakashi (they aren't alike in general), but I'm interested in looking at his image of a military commander, which is close to Kakashi in some ways.

it is said that Dōsetsu has extraordinary physical strength, a sharp mind and practicing sword style named tachiuchi ni myō o etaru (the art of slashing in all-direction). the Chidori sword is forged by renowned 13th century swordsmith and its hilt design featured the Tachibana family crest. [ does it sound familiar? like the tanto of the Hatake clan? ]

for his mythical feats and personal prowess in the battlefield, Dōsetsu has become a subject of folklores and earned some nicknames, such as Hachiman incarnation [ 弓矢八幡 ], Raijin incarnation [ 摩利支天の化身 ], or God of war from Kyushu [ 九州の軍神 ]. because of his fierce character, he was nicknamed "Oni Dōsetsu" — "Dōsetsu the demon".

I'd say that this is a pretty entertaining background for Kakashi's story. personally, I perceive him as one of the closest characters to real samurai, and therefore such a number of references to history and folklore in him cannot but please me. especially the battle nicknames, in both cases, and a certain connection with the gods of thunder and war. now I'm thinking about the image of Kakashi's Susanoo, which is, well, a full armoured samurai, among other things.

#kakashi hatake #kakashi #naruto shippuden #naruto

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fangirltothefullest · 2 months

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Thoughts on the welcome home update because YES. Spoilers below the cut.

That sleep aid pill is called remderem which is almost "remember" but the d would be backwards, and its also almost "murder me" while missing the u. Is this anything? I don't know. Im always looking for names of things in args.

We have seen through two puppets eyes. First it was Wally and his discomfort and/or dissociation, and now it's Eddie's discomfort and/or dissociation. Which is fun because we've heard that Eddie would do crafts for the show and you'd just see his hands so that was a fun touch.

First iteration of the website we had mail letters (Eddie) giving us clues. Second iteration had bugs (Frank?) and active drawings (Wally?) giving us clues. Now we have symbols giving us clues and they remind me of stickers a little bit so possibly a connection to Sally? Who else would give the tiny pictures? Questions questions.

At the end of that commercial before his existential crisis, they say Eddie has been invited and they did his job for him so he could rest. Eddie does not seem happy about them doing his job for him instead of letting him do it himself. I am reminded of how clumsy with the mail he seems to be sometimes and how much work they make him do in the other audio clips. I wonder if he is feeling extremely overwhelmed but also unappreciated and that they can do all this work to help and choose not to most days? Sally insists it was easy to do and Eddie does not sound pleased.

One thing i can't stop thinking about and i have to go back and really re-watch the commercials closely, is Poppy. When they invite Eddie to the party they say everyone is there but there's no Poppy in the picture? And earlier they poured gravy on an ornament that, to me, looked very oddly shaped and almost like meat, and we hear Poppy, but we don't see her. So... a pea on a plate..... "P" on a plate? My brain could be misconstruing but did they eat Poppy and is that what he's actually seeing and is that why it's all red? I'd he seeing the reality beyond the mask? Is it more than a pea?

Eddie says "where?" In his crisis as a response to Frank calling his name. People are talking about this as if he doesn't know where he is. I agree this is a likely idea but what if he's asking where Poppy is? Do we ever actually see her in any of the videos or do we just hear her?

Wally has feelings a lot which is good to confirm he has feelings! Eddie also said he would be happy with an apple every single day and my he is an innocentbautism creature wally agenda is flourishing.

The amount if commercials has me fascinated because people used to do that for TV shows (still do but those earlier type ones welcome home is referencing is spot on) commercials for basically everything is accurate and what is funny is the accuracy of what each person is selling. Howdy with the cigarette commercial- he takes every opportunity to sell you something no matter what even if it's not good for you. Sleepy looking Wally selling you sleeping pills happy with the thought of the dream.

Wally being nervous about getting the holiday correct. Is it because he's never done it or ia Home going to hurt him?

Did home hurt Eddie because he was upset during the party? It sure fucking looks like it with home watching him so intensely. Does the chair have something to do with it?

Eddie's scribbled writing reminds me of the people trying to decipher the code on the safe.

On the secret pages it's signed "-W." But it talks as if it's a human person who watched the show and is working either the WHRP team. It also talks too grown up to be wally. Who is this?? Is it the same person from the terrified scribbles of the hidden page previously? It seems maybe so because of referencing needing the cleanup.

#welcome home #welcome home spoilers

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damn-stark · 5 months

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Chapter 16 The last supper

Chapter 16 of Sugar

A/N- Hakari and Kirara are in this chapter, they’re the best kids, the best.

Warning- Swearing, angst, FLUFF!! Talks of death, smoking and alcohol, spoilers, slow burn, long chapter.

Pairing- Choso x fem!reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Takes place during- 2x06, 2x07, and only the very beginning of 2x08

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

The water droplets feel cold when they hit your skin, they’re hard and fall fast enough that they create a soft and pleasurable rhythmic song as they fall.

Normally there’s people who tend to run and find cover or hide under an umbrella as soon as the rain trickles down, but you’ve never minded the feeling of the rain; even if it can be cold, and you don’t like being cold, so. You don’t mind getting yourself soaked either even if it means drenching your clothes.

The sound of the rain relaxes you, the sound of waves crashing brings you comfort, and the view of the rain droplets dancing down from the sky has a way of bringing you ease. And that’s probably due to your connection with water.

However, today the sound of the water and the sight of the clear droplets doesn’t help the stupid ill-feeling brewing inside your guy. Maybe it’s the mission Itadori and his friends got sent to today to capture the mole; that same mole that helped the curses sneak into the school, and the same mole that is leaking information to curse users, but you can’t seem to find pleasure in the rain’s song or its view.

Something doesn’t feel right, but here’s hoping that you’re wrong. You want to be wrong.

“Hey…Geto,” the sound of Fushiguro’s voice catches you off guard, not because he called you by your…husband's name, but because ever since you met he doesn’t really make conversation with you like the others, he’s really quiet and reserved. Something that his father never was in that short interaction you had.

“Yes,” you give him your attention.

Fushiguro briefly meets your gaze before he looks at the parking garage where you’re supposed to meet Utahime. Hopefully, Satoru let her know you were coming or else you’re going to get a startled reaction, which honestly looks funny on Utahime, she’s so dramatic. It’s funny and adorable.

“That day we met,” he continues. “You said that I looked like him…were you referring to my father?”

Oh? No. No. Has Satoru not told him?! Please kid don’t ask about your father.

“I remember Gojo mentioned something like that when we met,” Fushiguro adds and finally lifts his head to meet your gaze.

You hold his gaze for a moment with confusion, but you can’t help but nod softly. “Yes, I was…why?”

Fushiguro shrugs and blinks to look at his friends ahead of you. “I was just curious…did you meet my father too?”

You nod stiffly and try to avoid anything too informative because this is Satoru’s kid, not yours. If he hasn’t told him then it’s for a good reason, you won’t be the one to break that.

“Once,” you tell Fushiguro. “Or twice, I guess. He came to see my brother once when we were children, and I guess I passed by him and I didn’t know. We met again years later, but that’s it.”

Please don’t ask. Please don’t ask.

Fushiguro hums and you try to read his face for his reaction to what you just shared, but he keeps on that nonchalant expression that’s always painted on his face and simply nods stiffly. You don’t dare and try to further this conversation, it’s not your place.

And luckily before he could try and ask or say anything else you reach the parking garage that connects to some storage units? Or some kind of storage things. And the first person your eyes land on is Utahime.

She looks older, her hair is longer and she has longer bangs. You also notice a scar across her face which makes her look badass. And just like you predicted her expression upon seeing you is different; whereas she’d be content seeing you before, now you receive a bitter and hardened gaze.

“Utahime,” you greet with the same warmth that you’d greet her with those many years ago. “Long time no see, you look nice.” You grin.

Utahime lets out a soft sigh and her shoulders tense. “I’d say it’s a pleasure,” she counters spitefully. “But it’s really not.”

You can’t help but shoot her a smirk and nod in comprehension. “Understandable.”

“Don’t patronize me,” she says through gritted teeth.

You laugh softly and when you reach her you simply pat her shoulder before you step aside to let them work. After all, you’re basically a shadow.

“This way,” Utahime moves on with the mission and leads you and the students about halfway down the garage before stopping and interjecting with a question. “You’ve heard from Gojo about the person leaking intel, right?”

“Yes,” all three students answer at the same time.

“There’s probably two or more people in contact with the curse users,” Utahime adds, “one would be a higher-up, well above the principal.”

You scoff with amusement under your breath, but Utahime hears you and shoots you a warning glare before continuing.

“I won’t be able to do anything about that one. The other would be someone passing the information up to the higher-up,” she explains as she lifts a finger from both hands. “That one is our current target. They’re only a suspect at this point, so we’ll capture them and then interrogate them.”

You fold your arms over your chest and lean back against a pillar, whilst Nobara speaks up with a question. “So who from Kyoto is it?”

“Oh?!” Itadori exclaims in surprise.

“That’s why you asked those of us from Tokyo, right?” Nobara adds and only seems to impress Itadori more.

“Kugisaki, you’re incredible.”

“The mole is…” Utahime pauses and as you drift your eyes over to her you see that she looks uncomfortable and displeased. “Mechamaru.”

One of her students you assume? A wrinkle forms between her eyebrows, and a small frown is formed on her lips.

You can’t imagine it was easy hearing that one of your own students that’s right under your nose is the mole. Then again a student being hidden away from the rest of the world is a perfect mole. They could’ve manipulated him, and even if they didn’t you wouldn’t blame him for taking the path he chose.

You do put all the blame on the higher-ups though. They like to act all high and mighty like they’re above it all, but they’re not, and what’s worse but not surprising is that they turn out to betray what they’re supposed to be protecting.

“And they say I’m the bad one,” you try to get in a conversation with Utahime, while she continues to lead the way towards a single door nearby. “A higher-up working for a curse-user…can’t say I’m surprised.”

“You are bad,” she quips. “You’re a cult leader and a curse-user.”

You shake your finger. “Ah, ah,” you quickly interject loudly so she can hear you. “Retired curse-user and it was not a cult. That word is so…” you pause and stick out your tongue in disgust. “…wrong. It was a religious facility. And! It was Suguru’s, I helped build it up, sure, so it was like, uh, 20 or 10 percent my baby, but I wasn’t the founder or the leader. He was.”

Utahime twists her head back and her displeasure and

anger for you only deepens, making the corner of your lips pull to a deeper smirk.

“Not like it matters now though,” you add quieter and with a hint of sadness in your tone. “It’s all done.”

Utahime answers with silence and stops by the door to open it and step inside. Itadori and Fushiguro let Nobara pass before them, and then they try to make you walk first, but you’re here for Itadori, you’re his shadow, not his partner right now, so after some passed and pointed glances both guys walk inside in a room, letting you walk in last and close the door behind you.

However, that turns out to be a mistake because the only source of light inside is an ominous red light over a single metal door. That’s all, no ceiling lights, no bright natural light casting in.

“Mechamaru’s real body, Kokichi Muta,” Utahime breaks the tension that you alone feel as this place gives you the creeps. “Is in this basement here. Now, it’s not like he’s suspicious. It’s more that everyone else wasn’t. So the process of elimination leaves with Mechamaru.”

When Utahime slowly opens the door, Itadori is the first to barge in as if nothing. You then all follow after him, which, by the way, this hall you walk into isn’t any better. It smells like mold, the light above is a dim and dull white-green color. And the further you walk in the worse it seems to get. At least to you anyway.

“Mechamaru’s technique is puppet manipulation,” Utahime continues to inform the students and you because this is all new to you too. “Though, thanks to his heavenly pact, the range he can manipulate puppets extends throughout Japan. If he has any unregistered puppets then he could do the work of the mole as much as he wanted.”

“Really?” You probe curiously even though you know you shouldn’t right now.

“That kid stood out a lot to me,” Itadori mutters.

“Even if the puppet was the size of a fly or a mosquito,” Utahime interjects.

“I see. But those are options too, huh?” Itadori asks while Utahime begins to slow down as you all approach a door.

“We’re here.” She points as she comes to a stop.

You draw in a deep breath and fist your hands as Utahime slowly turns the knob just in case this kid tries to tackle all of you with his puppets.

However, when she opens the door and everyone rushes inside you come to see an abandoned room. A smelly abandoned room.

“Uh,” Itadori rolls out awkwardly.

“He got us,” Utahaime mumbles out.

“Though,” Fushiguro breaks his silence. “On the other hand…”

“Now we’re certain it’s Mechamaru,” Nobara finishes saying for her friend.

No signs of struggle to indicate that he could be taken. All that’s left is tubing hanging off the ceiling, and a horrendous stench. It’s almost too calm, too quiet.

“Well,” you sigh and pull out a cigarette box to swiftly push one in between your lips. “Nothing to do with this but look over our shoulders.” You put your box away and light the cigarette with a flame you summon to your finger. “Something's brewing and we just lost our foot inside.”

You walk out of the room and everyone quickly follows.

“Don’t you have contacts?” Utahime finally addresses you. “Friends? It’s said that one of the curses might be someone dressed as a monk.”

You suck in your cheeks as you take a drag and shake your head. “No,” you breathe out as you pull the cigarette out of your mouth. “What? Just because Suguru dressed as a monk means I know them? It was an act to get the non-sorcerers curses, that's all. We didn’t actually know anyone who was a monk.”

Utahime picks up her pace to fall beside you, but as she walks in the cloud of smoke she tries to quickly wave it away.

“Can’t you just ask around?” She insists.

You look away to think while you take in another drag. Just as you’re about to take it out, Utahime reaches over and pulls the cigarette out of your mouth for you and stomps it out, making you pout softly.

“It’s not a habit,” you defend yourself as puffs of smoke escape out of your mouth. “I do it occasionally.”

“That doesn’t matter, can you?” She presses.

You let out a deep breath and nod stiffly. “I have friends. And if there’s a sketchy sorcerer then perhaps someone at the fighting club knows…” you mumble to yourself before you look at her and nod with an assuring smile playing on your lips “I’ll ask around for something, but what is it that I’m looking for exactly?”

Utahime shrugs. “All these curses, Mechamaru, and the higher-up work for someone, a curse-user who installs some kind of authority and fear. They’re up to something so they probably need any help they can get. Start there.”

You scoff and nod slowly. “All right. I’ll ask.”

She nods softly. “Thanks,” she mutters.

You steal a glance at her and hum. An idea comes to mind but you quickly shoot that down since what you have planned is for people you’re closer with, family and closer friends.

She was a friend, but you can sense the tension, and you see the way she looks at you, you’re no friend of hers. Not anymore.

Thus, you just leave it be and stay quiet. You bask in that silence and just think about the mess that’s spreading as you return to the school with your hands empty.

If only Suguru was here to help. To at least calm down your nerves even if everything isn’t okay. Why can’t he be here too? Why did he have to die and why do you have to face all this alone now?

You exhale and before you know it Ijichi parks the car to let you and the students off at the school entrance. Before you can get out though, you lean over towards him.

“Hey, I’m having dinner at my house tomorrow since the kids want to go see the community, come,” you invite him too. “I invited Nanami and my brother, of course, Ieiri will be there.” You wiggle your eyebrows playfully. “So come, yeah? Make sure my brother gets there in time.” You laugh softly.

Ijichi blinks in surprise and his cheeks begin to grow red. “M-me?” He questions.

You nod. “Yes, you. Why not? We were good friends once when I was in school. So you better come!” You pull back and slide off your seat to get out of the car. “Be there!” You shout over your shoulder one last time before you look over at the school entrance and see the woman you hoped you’d see.

“It better be something good,” she throws out as you change your pace to a jog to meet her with an embrace.

“Well, I’ll tell you now,” you tell her and step back. “It’s not a bar. I do have to go home for dinner.”

“You smell like cigarettes,” she points out and follows after you as you lead her to your motorcycle.

“Stress cigarette,” you mumble. “And I’m sorry about the ride. I didn’t plan to have passengers.”

“Ah, just something else that makes you look cooler;” she teases.

You flash her a smile. “It was part of my training. Yuki and I built a motorcycle.”

“Exactly how does that help?” Shoko probes as you hand her an extra helmet.

You stop what you’re doing to tap your chin as you think. “I don’t remember why exactly, but I remember it working.” You drop your hand and wink at Shoko. “Don’t worry, baby, I’m an excellent driver.”

Shoko looks at you with hesitance as she debates whether to believe you or not. But then again she has no other choice so she sits behind you and lets you take her to a place you only vaguely explained.

——

*LATER*

“Where are we anyways?” Shoko finally gets the chance to ask.

You put the helmets away and lead her to a multiple-story building. “Fight Club,” you finally let her know.

Albeit she doesn’t believe you so she scoffs and retorts. “I’m serious.”

You peer back and nod. “So am I. This is a fight club.”

You walk up to the door and knock once before the slit on the door opens and grey eyes peek out. They don’t say anything when they see you, they just look back and then close the slit again before they open the door for you.

“Come on,” you invite her in. “It’s early so it’s quiet right now.”

Shoko looks at you with a puzzled look, but she doesn’t hesitate to trust you and follow you at your side. After you ride the elevator to the top of the building she finally continues on with the questions you felt her wanting to ask.

“So this is what you do now that you don’t run a cult?” She asks as she studies the hallway. “Fight clubs?”

You scoff. “The word cult is so wrong. It was a religious facility. And second,” you motion with your fingers. “This isn’t really my fight club, I just, uh, financially support it. Think of me as a godmother of this place,” you say with a cocky half-smile.

Shoko hums and continues inquiring. “Then who owns this place?”

You reach the private parlor room and simply shoot her a smirk before you knock on the door just in case. You don’t want to walk into some nasty stuff.

“Come in!” You hear a happy familiar voice welcome you in.

You smile and open the door, and the moment you walk in you’re greeted with a warm and happy welcome. “Master!”

You beam. “Hello my star children,” you greet Kirara and Hakari.

Rather than coming to greet you by the door, they stay seated on the couch as they watch Shoko walk in.

“Don’t worry we can trust her,” you assure them while you close the door behind your friend.

“Kirara? Hakari?” Shoko asks quietly in disbelief.

You walk further in and nod with glee. “Yeah. Didn’t my brother tell you? I’ve been training them for the past year. They’re the owners of this club.”

“Secret club,” Kirara blurts. “So don’t be going around and talking to anyone at the school about it.”

You sit on the expensive chair behind the expensive dark wooden desk and sit back smugly. “I just wanted to show off to someone our work here,” you add. “All the investors that invested in Suguru’s facilities now invest here in exchange for us to do their dirty work of course.”

“So,” Shoko rolls out and slowly makes her way to the seat across from the pair. “You’ve brought students in to do your dirty work now? You sound like your brother.”

You chuckle dryly and shake your head. “It’s nothing they don’t want to do. We all work for something, Ieiri, it’s how the world works. They wanted something so I gave it to them, but they know that in order to keep it and be on top, they have to work for it. Besides, staying at home would bore me half to death. I need to stay busy while I’m still young.”

Shoko hums and watches you for something in particular, when she can’t find it due to the wall you put up she just stays quiet.

“Now do you want something to drink? Water, snack? You get it for free.” You laugh breathlessly.

Shoko shakes her head. “No. Now why am I here exactly?”

“I told you,” you say and lean in towards the desk to pick up a file. “I wanted to show this off and I wanted you to get out of the school for a while. God knows you work too much for them. But I will have to ask you not to go on and talk about this. This club is a secret underground kinda thing.”

“You’re not looking for a job now are you doc?” Hakari breaks his silence. “We could use a good doctor here. And you’re great.”

“We’d pay you double,” Kirara pitches in.

Shoko laughs and shrugs before sitting back. “I’ll think about it.”

“Now,” you change the subject and open the file to take out one photo of a blond ponytail guy. “Is this it?”

Hakari gets off the couch and walks to your side and nods. “Yep. No one else has stood out, just that scrawny pathetic-looking thing.”

You pick up the photo and study the skinny guy with a black cloth that covers half of his body. You also notice that he has three marks under his eyes, but that’s all that stands out. He’s pretty average-looking.

But you can’t be fooled by that.

“He simply wrote Haruta at the entrance and that’s it. He didn’t fight either, the cameras just picked on him watching the fights.”

You let out a deep breath and sit back to think.

“Probably scooping place,” Shoko interjects.

“Did security detect any extra cameras or any other stuff he carried?” You ask.

Hakari shakes his head. “Asked and he said no. He only came that one night too. Hasn’t returned since.”

“Alone?”

“Yep. Or so that’s what he made us believe.”

You look up at the ceiling and try to figure something out even though this piece of information is practically nothing.

“No one suspicious has come to visit either,” Kirara adds. “But remind me again why you’re working to look for this mole, master?” They ask with concern. “You’re practically working for the school and the higher-ups if you help them.”

“The mole thing is leading to something bigger,” you explain. “Something bigger means danger to all of us, not just the school. We’ve worked hard for what we've built, this potential threat can endanger that. So it’s not for them, it’s for me, you, Harkari, my community, and my girls. That’s what.”

“Besides she doesn’t work for anyone,” Hakari says in your defense, making you smile and look over at him. “So this labor is just a hobby.”

You chuckle and put your fist out so he can meet it halfway with a fist pump. “Nicely put.” You compliment.

“Suck up,” Kirara coughs out.

“Aw I get it now,” Shoko adds with a sly laugh. “You’re a mobster. My own little mobster.”

You pick up the landline phone and shoot her a smirk. “Got to keep the money coming somehow. Plus this is a way to keep tabs on sorcerers around Japan. You’d be surprised how many sorcerers I have tabs on. I work to piss my family off. And this,” you point at the desk to refer to all your work. “Would make them livid.” You roll your head down and begin to call up a number.

“Now what would your high school self say about you now?” Shoko teases.

“She’d be surprised but proud.” You say and throw a hand out to display your excitement as the phone rings.

“Hello?” The voice that belongs to an old business partner answers.

“Kong,” you greet sweetly. “Long time, yeah?”

You hear him draw in a deep breath before he scoffs shakily. “Y/N.”

You tilt your head down and rest your elbow on the desk to lay your head on your palm. “Now I hope I didn’t interrupt anything. You’re a very hard man to find. I hope you weren’t avoiding me. You know what happens when someone does.” You taunt.

“Why would I?” He mutters. “We’re old friends, so I know you want something?”

“Oh,” you breathe out. “Looking for work,” you lie. “Without Suguru here I’m growing bored, I need to find work to do. Do you happen to know anyone in need of any sorcerers for hire?”

Kong doesn’t answer for a few seconds, letting you pick up your head and turn on the computer to check his last location a friend gave you. “You’ve gone quiet, what is it? I wouldn't want to go to the States to ask in person.”

“I—”

“Don’t,” you cut him off abruptly and in an intimidating voice. “I know where you are, Kong. You’ve been avoiding me since Suguru died. So I know you’re hiding something, spill it or I’ll tell my friend in the red cap next to you to make this the last call you ever take.”

Kong shares a nervous laugh that makes the frown on your face deepen. “We’ve been friends for a decade, y/n,” he stammers. “I went to your wedding—”

“And I don’t care,” you interrupt and begin to tap your manicured nail against the wooden surface. “You stopped being my friend the moment you stopped talking to me, even then you meant nothing to me. I won’t blink an eye to give the command. Spill it or I’ll lose my patience.”

Kong exhales deeply before he answers a bit quieter. “My life is at stake here okay? But I’ll tell you this because you are my friend because I care. Manami and Toshihisa are hiding something. Unfortunately for them, they haven’t let go of the goal Geto put in their head.” He sighs. “This should be enough right?”

You clench your jaw and grow cold and stiff. “Yeah,” you deadpan and hang up.

“What is it, master?” Kirara asks right away since the confused and suddenly hurt look on your face is obviously clear.

“Maybe nothing,” you answer honestly. “Or maybe something important. I think Manami and Toshihisa are betraying me.”

The room falls silent and your mind begins to run rampid.

Yeah, you’ve always known that the two that were just named have been a bit more motivated about what Suguru preached. And after he died they wanted to continue with his work, but you didn’t exactly egg them on. You had no purpose for the religious facilities since you couldn’t store curses like Suguru, and you just hurt too much to try and continue his goal at such a big scale, so you just gave up his dream.

It seems like they didn’t though. And it shouldn't be surprising, not really, but they were still family. For a long time, they were all you had, so that’s why this feels like getting shot in the back. You’re supposed to be close, you’re supposed to share stuff like that with each other, so why didn’t they? What are they hiding?

“So what does that mean for our problem?” Shoko queries.

You continue to tap your nail against the surface and shrug. “I don’t know. I doubt they’ll talk to me…they’ve been distant…I should’ve known, damn it.”

“There’s no way you could’ve known,” Kirara tries to assure you. “You had faith in them.”

“Who’s the suck-up now?” Hakari rebuttals softly. “But in any way, master, Kira is right. There’s no way you could’ve known so don’t beat yourself up over it. Let’s look for them and beat the information out of ‘em.”

You laugh softly and nod stiffly. “Yeah, you’re right, Kin, no need for more stress. I'll just accept it as it is, a betrayal...” You sigh loudly and sit back lazily. “What a pain in my ass! I should’ve never taken this favor for Satoru.”

“Now look at you,” Shoko retorts. “Now you’ve got your head stuck in that hole. With no way out.”

You fold your arms over your chest and mumble. “I should…I should get my head out. Give me a good reason why I should stay, Ieiri?”

Said woman sighs and you hear the leather seat she’s on shift as she moves in her seat. “Your kids' lives could be on the line,” she puts it simply, making you lower your head and steal a glance at Kirara and Hakari before you look at your hands and think of your girls.

She’s right. Whatever’s going on isn’t just a drizzle with the sun poking out, it’s a brewing storm with no sun, just darkness.

“And,” Shoko adds. “You won’t leave Satoru to deal with it on his own, no matter how much he fights for you to stay behind.”

That’s also right. She’s right.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” you mumble.

“Always am.”

You manage a faint smile and have to just drop your head in your hands to take in what was dropped on you; another weight to your already heavy and tensionful chest. You’re not drowning anymore, Hakari and Kirara saved you from that, but this weight? Oh, that weight.

You can’t breathe again. It’s getting hard again.

“If that’s what you want,” Hakari says. “Then there’s nothing you can do about it at this moment.”

You hear feet hit the ground before someone comes over. As you lift your head you see Kirara finally joined Hakari and you by the desk.

“What?” You probe as you notice that they’re up to something.

“Just doing our thing,” they simply put it out before they lean over and get on the computer to put on music.

“Ah,” you laugh breathlessly and can’t help but tug a happy smile on your face. “I see.”

“What’s going on?” Shoko asks as she sees all of you smile.

“She smokes when she’s stressed,” Kirara explains. “We’ve found an alternative. We dance it out. When he can of course.”

Yet no matter how much you danced it out at that moment, no matter how much fun you did have. At night after you put Satori to sleep, after the twins began to get ready for bed, all that you ran away from comes back and you’re reminded of that heavy weight, and you can’t help but think of the man that can’t come and comfort you, the man you can’t hold.

All that stress transforms to longing and you feel lonelier as you’re embraced by the cold fall bitter air under the starry sky. You try to find comfort in his stupid gojogesa you always hated seeing on him, but it no longer smells like him, it’s not warm after his use, it’s cold and holds nothing but agony.

You try to maybe find comfort in one of your many favorite pictures you have with him to try to relive that moment in your head and see him at least as a distant memory, but you can’t bring yourself to feel an ounce of happiness at the sight of the engraved memory on the piece of glossy paper. And when you play that day of him trying to make baby Satori look at the camera in your head, all you see is a faded day, and all you feel is longing for a moment you can’t share with him anymore.

So you put the picture down and press your hand on the empty spot next to you on the dock, and close your eyes to try and picture him here with you in such a vivid way that perhaps you’ll be able to feel some ounce of his presence. But again only the cold air keeps you company, and the only warmth you feel is that of your tears running down your cheeks.

Nevertheless, you still open your eyes and expect him to be looking right back at you with that sweet and charming smile of his, but he’s not here. Not even the ghost of him.

Albeit there are a pair of eyes watching you. Two to be exact, but you don’t catch them since they keep themselves away from your eyesight, so you don’t catch them watching you cry for the man they saw you love with your whole heart. They just watch you with pity and sympathy, and a bit of guilt since they can’t do anything to get him back for their little sister, for them, or for you so you wouldn’t be so lonely anymore.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

“Welcome, friends, family.” You greet the guests that are coming here for the first time, and the guests who are already familiar with this place. “Some of you have already set foot in our fine establishment, but those who haven’t, welcome to the community…”

The name is still a work in progress, so for now, that’s what it’s going to be called.

“…Our community for sorcerers.”

“Boo get on with it,” Satoru pretends to haggle.

You look at him surprised. “You’re here early,” you respond kindly. “Did Ijichi really drag you out?”

“N-no—”

“No,” Satoru cuts Ijichi off. “Nanami came over and basically did.”

You offer your friend a thankful smile and then point inside before you begin to lead Shoko, Ijichi, and the first-year students to your house through the community. “As I said, we try to be as self-sufficient as possible. We grow our crops, we have a greenhouse; cows, goats, chickens, and horses.”

“You eat horses?” Itadori dares to ask almost a bit horrified.

You look back and shoot him an offended look before you shake your head rapidly. “No! Horses are great therapy, we use them to help sorcerers who struggle. And taking care of them is fun, they’re beautiful creatures, so no we don’t eat them!”

Satoru walks over to Itadori and throws his arm around his shoulders before leaning close to him to add a comment with a mischievous smirk. “My sister here is like a hippie, she’s into meditation, and a connection with the earth. She’s a weirdo. Don’t mind her.”

You glare at him and huff.

“Actually,” Fushiguro cuts in nonchalantly. “Meditation is proven good for your mental health, and in our case, it’s good to improve our mental strength for our techniques. So I wouldn't say it’s weird.”

You spin around and face your brother with a taunting grin. Whilst he lets go of Itadori and looks at Fushiguro amused.

“You sound like my sister,” Satoru teases his student—or protege, or adopted son? From what your brother mentioned he’s been looking out for Fushiguro ever since Toji died; Toji who happens to be his father. So they’ve been in each other's lives for eleven years now. So yeah he’s probably like a son or a little brother.

“That’s actually right,” you defend Fushiguro and then turn back around. “Anyway, we don’t eat horses, and there’s not a lot of people living here, but we are a scarce few, but,” you clap your hands. “Those who do live here are from all around the world. For the most part. Right now,” you say and look around at the semi-empty streets. There’s only a couple of people roaming around, but for the most part, everyone seems to be in their homes. “It seems it’s down time, earlier in the day though, it’s very lively.”

“Satoru!” You hear someone yell.

“Hey, Satoru!”

You glance over your shoulder and see women waving and flirting with your brother from afar. And of course, he doesn’t leave them hanging.

“Hey, ladies!” He flashes them a flirty smile and waves back. “So good to see ya!”

You groan in disgust and just move along. “We have a school for the younger kids, a daycare, and a training facility here too,” you continue to share happily.

“Can I ask what people do for money? And rent?” Nobara asks.

You nod. “Some people go to work outside, but I don’t make anyone pay for their housing, people have chores. But no rent,” you laugh softly. “And utilities are covered by me, but we do have solar panels, alternatives. We just—”

“Have you ever heard of communism?” Satoru butts in. “Well, this is it. My sister is a model, sorcerer, and a communist. Hefty resume.” He grins and turns his head to face you.

“Well,” Shoko interjects and lets out a deep breath. “I'm tempted to come here to retire now. This sounds like a treat. And looks nicer than I expected considering it’s all in the middle of the woods.”

You offer her a smile and steal one glance at the students observing the place with curious and slightly awe-struck faces.

“Dinner is ready, but the twins will give you a more thorough tour of the place after. That way you’re not stuck with us oldies for so long.” You giggle and grab Shoko’s arm to drag her along with you. “Come on, come on, I want you to meet her already.”

The tour is short since you didn’t take them to any of the barns, or any other minor location in your community, but you just can’t help it. You want Shoko to meet Satori already, plus it’s getting late so everyone must be getting hungry. You know you are.

And once you approach your house, the door gets thrown open and your daughter comes running out to greet one person. “Uncle Satoru!”

Satoru walks past Nanami, Shoko, and you to meet Satori halfway with an embrace he had to give her while on his knees so he can be at her level.

“Satori!” Satoru greets with the same energy.

“I missed you,” Satori says and pulls back to face him. “I haven’t seen you since…forever ago. Like, last month.” She exaggerates.

Satoru snickers. “Sorry I’ve been busy, but,” he adds and pulls his hand away to pretend and grab something from her ear. She giggles and watches him as he swiftly maneuvers his gift between his fingers before he presents her with a little golden key. “This is for you.”

Satori looks at the key slightly confused, and then glances at you to seek help for what she’s seeing.

“A key?” She asks and takes the small golden key from his hand. “What for?”

Satoru pulls his shades off and winks at her. “You’ll see.” He then leans in and whispers something in her ear before pointing at Shoko.

Satori follows his finger and when she sees the stranger before her she shuffles closer to Satoru. After all, out of everyone here, she’s the only one she hasn’t met. She met the students and Ijichi after Satoru insisted that he wanted to take her to meet his students, so they’re not strangers to her, she actually really likes Fushiguro for some odd reason. But Shoko? They’ve never met until now.

“Geez,” Shoko muses. “I guess there’s no need for a DNA test, she looks just like him.”

You blink and slowly look at her with a pointed look. “Why would you say that?” You mutter.

Shoko shrugs. “I don’t know, I’m seeing her in person now and all I see is a girl version of Suguru.”

You hum in agreement since she is right, but why did she have to say it like that?

“You sure she’s yours?” Shoko jokes, making you shake your head.

“Hello,” your daughter's voice cuts in. And when you look down you see her with an arm draped around her uncle, and her cheek pressed against his.

“Shoko, this is Satori—”

“Satoru,” you try to cut in so the girl can introduce herself.

“Satori, this mine and your mom's oldest friend, Ieiri Shoko!” He completely ignores you.

“Hello,” Shoko greets your daughter kindly and crouches down so Satori can see her warm smile. “You look just like your dad, you know that?”

“You were my daddy’s friend too?” Satori queries as she stays next to your brother.

Shoko nods. “Yeah, he was my best friend.”

Satori smiles. “My uncle Satoru said that. You’re very pretty,” she says

Shoko grins and touches her chest. “Aw thank you. So are you.”

Satori blushes and grabs harder onto Satoru as she grows timid.

“This is for you,” Shoko shares and offers her a small pink gift bag.

Before your daughter can take it though she meets your gaze for reassurance.

You quickly give it to her, and she slowly steps away from Satoru to take the bag, letting Shoko stand up to her given height.

“Thank you,” Satori tells her before she puts the bag down to open it and pulls out a box that she strains to take out. “It’s heavy,” she mumbles and turns to you. “Mommy, can you help me?”

You walk over and crouch to hold the box for her so she can open it. She then puts her hands inside and sticks her tongue out as she slowly pulls out a small, beautiful black and golden orb music box that’s adorned with delicate designs, and small white paintings on the lid. Of course, though, Satori can’t identify what it is right away.

“What is it?” She asks with an amused smile tugging her lips.

“You have to use your key,” Satoru lets her know, making her glance at the golden key in her hand before she does as she’s told and carefully turns it a couple of times. When the key stops, Satori pulls her hand back and glances at you with slight confusion. However, before she can ask what follows, the lid opens and a sweet melody begins to play, causing the fairy in the middle to begin dancing along gently.

Satori’s eyes soften and a big and happy smile grows on her face. “Aww, look Mommy! Look!”

You nod softly. “I’m looking, now what do you tell the sweet lady.” You say and flash Shoko a teasing smile.

Satori snaps her head over towards Shoko and her eyes basically gleam with how excited she is. “Thank you!”

Shoko offers her a smile and a soft nod. “Yeah, you're welcome.”

Satori offers Shoko one more smile before she takes her box and walks over to Nanami.

“Look, maybe we can play a song for my daddy,” she tells him and grabs his hand to begin pulling him inside with her. “You like it, uncle Nanami?”

Said man smiles softly and nods. “Yeah, it’s very nice. Do you love it?”

“Yes! Do you think my daddy will like hearing it?” She asks.

“I think so,” Nanami agrees and goes along with Satori. “I think he’ll love it just as much as you do.”

Finally, without more interruptions, you continue to finish this tour inside. “Come on, let’s get in, dinners ready!”

“Hey, yeah I’m starving!” Itadori exclaims and skips forward to be ahead of the group, letting Satori glance at him as she continues walking at Nanami’s side.

“Hey, Itadori,” she addresses him with a very serious and curious look. “If you’re so strong how come you don’t have any muscles?”

Your eyes widen in disbelief even though you’re fighting the need to burst out laughing.

Nobara on the other hand chuckles and hits Itadori’s back. “Nice one Satori!” She tells your little girl.

“I do too,” Itadori argues. “They’re under my jacket.”

Satori's eyebrows furrow and she looks unconvinced. “Hm.”

Itadori gasps and then hits Fushiguro's chest. “He doesn’t have any either. How come you don’t tell him that, huh?”

“She’s 6 years old, Itadori,” Fushiguro mutters in annoyance. “Leave it be.”

“Well…” Satori pauses and glances back at Satoru, and then at Nanami next to her, and doesn’t bother bringing Fushiguro into this. “My Uncle Satoru and Nanami have muscles. So does my uncle Miguel and my uncle Larue. How come you don’t?”

“I’ll show you—”

“He’s just younger…” Nanami interjects to inform your daughter, but you lose track of what they’re saying as they walk inside the house first.

When you get inside you all take your shoes off, and you then rush over to the living room and thankfully find your other daughters lounging on the couch without as much excitement as Satori possessed over this dinner.

They only decided to join because you mentioned that Nanami and other people besides your brother would be here, otherwise, they probably would’ve left or stayed in their room if it was just you and your brother.

“Get up, just an introduction and we’ll go eat,” you try to move them off the couch.

Mimiko is the first to get up, while Nanako groans and has her sister help her off the couch.

“Nice bunny,” you remind her as you caress her head before you push them along with you towards the kitchen where everyone is heading.

“Everyone!” You cut in, making them stop one more time. “Just some last introductions. This,” you point at Mimiko by grabbing her shoulder. “Is Mimiko.”

Said girl takes everyone in and then offers everyone a gentle bow. “Hello,” she greets and stands up to hold her stuffed creature tighter against her before you notice her eyes fall on one teenage boy in particular; the nonchalant, urchin head, Megumi Fushiguro.

He seems to meet her gaze and hold it for a moment before you cut it by introducing someone else. “And this is Nanako.”

This greeting is a bit more stiff and cool compared to Mimiko’s warm and timid one. “Hey.”

You laugh dryly and introduce the others quickly. “Girls you know Ijichi.”

Nanako giggles and nods.

“Hello girls,” Ijichi greets them stiffly. “Nice seeing you again.”

Nanako simply smirks, letting you move on. “These are my brother's students, Megumi Fushiguro, Yuji Itadori, and Nobara Kugisaki. And Lastly,” you roll out more upbeat as you move over to take your friend's arm. “This is Doctor Ieiri Shoko, the girl I told you about. My best friend!”

“Nice to meet you girls,” Shoko greets them warmly before Nobara steps forward and points at them with a slightly surprised look on her face.

“Is that Chanel, the 1995 spring collection?”

Nanako and Mimiko share a quick look before Mimiko nods.

Nobara gasps and her jaw drops. “Where did you get it?!”

“Y/n’s closet,” Nanako shows off. “She has a lot of cool clothes.”

You groan softly in protest but they just ignore you and continue to interact, making you smile proudly nonetheless and watch them for a lingering moment before you walk to the dining room with Shoko, your brother, Ijichi, and the boys.

“We’re back,” Satori announces without her box and with Nanami following behind her. “I let Daddy hear the box while I eat.”

“That’s very nice my girl,” you tell her sweetly as you walk to the end of the food-filled table that makes Itadori’s eyes basically pop out of his sockets.

“This all looks so good!” He exclaims and rushes over to get a seat as if they would run out.

“My mommy and Belinda made it,” Satori announces as she takes a seat next to Satoru.

“Oh if that's the case,” Satoru jokes around. “Get your fake smiles and a napkin ready.”

“But mommy is a good cook,” Satori defends you, making Satoru lean towards her to whisper something that makes her giggle before she looks at you and changes her response. “I mean she’s not!” She giggles along with her uncle.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t joke around like that with her,” you try to advise him sweetly.

“Relax, she knows it’s just a joke.” He waves you off.

You sigh and just ignore it for now and wait for everyone to gather around the table.

“Oh, yeah where’s Hakari and Kirara?” Shoko queries as she grabs a bowl of food to serve herself.

“Busy,” you tell her. “They couldn’t make it.”

You look around the table and watch everyone settle down with a growing smile. Your brother sits across from you, and the twins choose to sit beside you so as to avoid being near your brother, Nobara sits beside them and they seem to carry on their current conversation, while Fushiguro tries to pull Itadori from overfilling his plate. Nanami sits next to Satori, and Shoko sits at your other side, making Ijichi sit next to her and make himself small as if to avoid bothering her.

You watch everyone fill their plate and talk amongst themselves with admiration that turns to longing for only one man. He would’ve loved to see this moment here, he would’ve been enchanted having his friends and his family dining together like a close united front. This would’ve been a glimpse of that life he dreamed of, or maybe it would’ve been enough, but he would’ve loved all this.

But he’s not here, and all you can do is be happy for him.

“I just wanted to thank everyone for being here,” you cut in as everyone begins to eat. “It really means a lot. It’s been a long time since we’ve been gathered like this, and I know there’s a couple of people missing, but we’ll carry them with us today, and welcome the new faces that accompany us.” You smile at all the kids. “Thank you.”

“Cheers!” Itadori muffles as he chews his food, making Fushiguro and Nanami look at him with disgust.

“Exactly,” you counter sweetly. “Actually feel free to serve yourselves wine made with organic grapes from Italy. It’s homemade by Miguel, a member of our family. And don’t worry it’s light on the alcohol, so Itadori, Nobara, and Fushiguro, you can have some. And don’t worry,” you snicker. “I’ve made a non-alcoholic one for you Satoru, you and Satori can share.”

Satoru clenches his jaw and folds his hands over the table as Shoko and you laugh at him.

“Who would’ve thought,” you add smugly. “That the strongest sorcerer can’t handle his liquor.” You chuckle. “So if you kids ever want to defeat him just give him a cup of alcohol and he’ll go down. Like that one time on Shoko’s birthday, do you remember when he…” you pause and laugh hysterically along with Shoko to the point you can’t finish your story as you recall that day.

“He fell—“ Shoko snorts, and you wheeze.

“Poor Haibara man,” you gasp for air.

“Hilarious,” Satoru deadpans. “I hope you both choke on your food.”

“It was pretty funny,” Nanami joins in too with a tiny smile before he takes a bite of his food.

You slap your chair and wipe away your tears.

“So are you going to tell us, or?” Nobara asks.

Shoko and you look at each other again and burst out laughing. And you in fact don’t end up telling the story, you just can’t muster up the strength to do it without laughing. It was just too much of a funny night, so it goes untold and the night carries on great. No better than that, it’s perfect in your opinion. You have fun. You smile and go on not thinking about Suguru for a while.

Games are played, and more stories are told, the older kids go out and get shown around the property by the twins, while Satori has no other choice but to be with you. Not like she minded though, she enjoyed Nanami and Satoru’s company.

The night transcends almost like old times, you acknowledge the big hole left by a couple of people, but you feel that same bliss. So simple and so warm. And it doesn’t get knocked down by the loss you still mourn deeply every day. Eventually, you end up catching the twins and the other three hanging around a bonfire they built by the lake, and rather than feeling sad as you recall the fact that it reminds you of your youth and that he can’t see this moment, you smile to yourself and admire from the older kids afar with a drink in your hand.

This, this moment is what you've worked so hard for. Watching Nanako, Nobara, and Itadori laughing about something they said, noticing Fushiguro and Mimiko smile timidly at each other as they seem to discuss over a book in her hand without a worry, is what you dreamed of. Of course, this is a fraction of it, but it’s the next generation of sorcerers living a simple moment that you longed to see.

They deserve to live it for as long as they live.

“What’s going over here?” Satoru breaks your silence.

You blink and watch him take the empty next to you on the patio swing. “I was just watching the kids,” you point out and shift your body to face him. “Admiring them. And hoping their lives are just filled with moments like the ones they’re living now.”

Satoru drifts his eyes to watch them now too and a soft smile tugs on his face. “They will. That’s what we’re fighting for aren’t we?”

You hum in agreement and continue to watch him as a question forms in your head unrelated to what you just spoke about. It’s an old question really, one that always lingers in your head. And you don’t know why you have the burning desire to ask it now out of all days; maybe it’s the quiet moment, maybe it’s the alcohol in your system, but it comes to your lips, it forms tears in your eyes and makes your heart race before you start it.

“Why?” You ask quietly.

Satoru hums and lifts his head to slowly turn and face you with a questioning look. When he sees the tears welling in your pleading eyes it’s not hard to know what this is leading to.

“Why did you leave that day?” You plead for an answer again. “Why did you break my heart that day?”

Satoru blinks repeatedly and glances down as he brushes his fingers through his hair.

“And don’t avoid it,” you press sharply and breathlessly as if you had been out of breath. “Don’t rebuttal with a question, tell me. You owe me that at least because I don’t think I can go on pretending I’m okay with it. I can’t live like this anymore, so please, Satoru tell me why you left me behind in that damn house with those horrible people we call our family.”

Satoru smacks his lips as he draws in a deep breath, and nervously licks his lips as he slowly breathes out through his nose. “I…thought I was making the right choice.”

You scoff. “The right choice? The right choice was trusting me,” you argue. “I don’t know if I would’ve left with Suguru if I did leave with you, there’s no way of knowing, but you had to trust me. And you didn’t, you betrayed me in the worst way possible and it hurt…” you inhale sharply and grab your chest to let out that shaky breath.

“I just didn’t want you to leave too,” Satoru finally shares, making your breath hitch. “He had left, I thought I could prevent you from leaving if you stayed there. I didn’t think they’d try and make you do anything, you know?” He says and his gaze never flickers away from yours. “So I left. And I knew you’d be angry by it, but I was convinced I could make it up when I took you back to the school. I just didn’t want you to leave…” he trails off and swallows back thickly before he exhales deeply.

You look at him with your eyes glossy and with a soft look of disbelief and full of pain.

“I’m sorry,” he says and makes you freeze and look at him blankly as you progress words you didn’t think he’d say, at least you thought you’d need to drag it out of him.

“I’m sorry that I ended up hurting you,” he whispers in a soft voice you rarely hear now. It’s so genuine and vulnerable.

But it’s not enough. Five days were a few, but those five days were torture and they happened because he left you that day.

“It’s not that easy,” you mutter as the shock passes and contentment laced with deep cemented pain takes its place. “But…I want to try and forgive you. I…miss you. I hate feeling this tension between us. I hate not talking like we used to when you come over. But it’s not easy forgiving you because I really looked up to you…”

Satoru huffs softly and his eyes fall.

“I really thought you’d never hurt me and you did,” you whisper. “I can’t forget that, but I want to try. I do.”

Satoru inhales sharply and meets your gaze with a softened look and nods softly. “Yeah that’s a start,” he says.

You laugh softly and nod in agreement. Silence follows after that, but it’s not awkward, it’s not full of tension you can cut through with a knife, and there’s genuine contentment and relief over this new beginning.

However, that slowly crumbles as you feel that longing and that gap left behind by a man you both cherished and cared for.

“I really miss him,” you break the silence in hopes he feels the same.

Satoru draws out a deep breath and nods. “I know,” he mutters and notices you holding back your tears as you stare at the ground so he slowly, and carefully puts his hand on your back to very gently caress it.

He didn’t need to say anything else, you heard the softness of his voice, and you detected the grief you feel every day. And this time the silence that descends over you lingers for a while, up to the moment he grows cold.

“It’s cold out here,” he tells you and gets out of the chair. “Why don’t we head inside?”

You look up at him and nod, but you don’t move. “I’ll be there soon. I just need to collect myself a bit.”

Satoru hesitates but he doesn’t fight you to leave. This is your home after all. “All right. Just don’t freeze to death out here because I will gloat.”

You let out a soft laugh and watch him walk inside before you take a chug of the alcohol you still have and then let your body slide to the side as you rest your elbow on the armrest, and lay your head on your hand as you stare off blankly while you think about him.

It doesn’t seem like you were there for so long, you didn’t feel time pass, but apparently it did because suddenly Nanami comes out to join you.

“Y/N, you’ve been out here for a while, why don’t you come inside? Get to bed and sleep it off, yeah?”

You sigh and shake your head. “No…n-no, I just need to collect myself. I don’t want her to see me like this,” you mutter and put the bottle down before you sit up to swing your legs back and forth. “Just a…bib more,” you slur your words.

Nanami sighs and slowly takes a step closer. “Satori asked Satoru to put her to bed, and the twins took the students to their room, so come on,” he says and closes the space left between the two of you by gently grabbing your arm and picking you off the porch swing.

You swallow thickly and try to argue, but you actually don’t have the strength so you just muster something else that slips out of your mouth. “I’m sorry…I’m a terrible host. Suguru…he was better at it…I’m sorry.”

Nanami pulls you inside to the warmth that fills the house, and you sigh as you finally feel embraced by the warmth.

“You did pretty well,” Nanami tells you. “Up until you didn’t come back inside.”

You roll your eyes and nudge him gently. “Oh, come on you're being too nice. What happened to you? You used to be mean.”

Nanami scoffs softly. “I was going through a phase,” he rebuttals. “And I didn’t say you were good, I said you did well.”

You laugh softly and then hiccup, making your friend look at you with worry.

“How much did you have to drink?” Nanami asks, considering you tend to be erratic when you’re drunk like you are now.

You shrug and pinch your fingers together. “A little”

At least you were erratic, Suguru’s death changed you; you’re a lot quieter now too, more serious than he was used to from you. Perhaps if it wasn’t for Satoru asking you to train Hakari and Kirara, you would have locked yourself away in your community only tending to your people and daughters.

Yet even if you had a reason to pull yourself up, Nanami could still see all that pain you like to hide. He can see it now so clearly in your glossy orange-red eyes, he can see it through your silence as he helps you to your room.

“I’ll bring you some water, and a bucket,” Nanami whispers softly. “Just in case.”

You lift your blankets and crawl into your bed. “Okay,” you mutter and think about the fact that you’re in your clothes, but your mind doesn’t actually give the command to change, you just lay and think about it while Nanami disappears.

That is until it’s like you forgot that Suguru has been gone for almost a year and turn to your side in search of Suguru. You expect to see him sleeping on his back, with his long hair draped over his shoulders while some other strands are spread about his pillow wildly. You expect to see him with his head tilted to the side, causing drool to dribble down the corner of his mouth. Alas, the moment your eyes fall on an empty spot next to you your heart shatters and you’re slammed with the urgent need to cry.

However, before you can shed a tear, footsteps approach your bed and once again you grow illusioned with Suguru, so you flip around and call out to him in the darkness of your room. “Suguru?”

But it’s not him, your eyes land on Nanami.

That’s right…it’s just Nanami.

“Uh,” Nanami breathes out awkwardly. “Here’s water, a bucket, and pills on your nightstand.”

Tears slip down your cheeks as you feel a ripping pain inside your chest. You don’t say anything on the matter, nor does Nanami add anything else, he just puts his hands in his pocket and glances at you one more time before he announces his leave.

“Goodnight, y/n, I’ll check in on you tomorrow.”

You avert your gaze and stay quiet, he takes this as his confirmation and turns to head out, but before he can you reach over and take his arm. “Kento, please don’t leave,” your voice breaks. “Please…I don’t want to be alone...I’m so lonely,” you cry quietly.

Nanami sighs and walks back to you to crouch by your side, and proceeds to slowly pull your hand off his arm to tuck it back under the blanket.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I am. I don’t know what else to say but that…” he trails off and exhales deeply. “I’ll just—”

“Nanami,” another voice cuts in. “It’s okay I got it from here.”

You look over your shoulder and see Shoko walking in.

“Are you sure?” Nanami queries.

She hums and once she reaches the bed she shoves your legs back and throws the blanket aside before she lets her slippers fall off her feet. Nanami stands up and you completely forget about him as you’re filled with confusion and glee.

“What are you doing?” You ask Shoko as you turn to watch her climb into your bed.

“Spending the night,” she says mindlessly.

The confusion you just felt completely vanishes and you’re filled with overwhelming joy that makes you cry. You didn’t want to cry, but the liquor has you all loopy so happy tears roll down your cheeks now.

“Is that okay?” Shoko makes sure to ask even though she’s tucking herself in like she used to when you lived together.

You nod and quickly throw your arm around her before you snuggle up beside her. “Of course,” you assure her. “It’s better than okay…thank you,” you muster through your drunken state.

Shoko slowly wraps her arm around you and responds with a simple gentle squeeze before lolling her head on yours. Your smile softens at the feeling of her warmth embracing yours and you can’t help but close your eyes to find peace in this moment.

——

*SOMETIME LATER. OCTOBER 31, 7:30 pm*

“And here is Satoru’s juice box,” you tease your brother as you set the drinks down by their respected person.

“And you get two drinks?” Satoru rebuttals. “Feeling ballsy? I’m not carrying you to bed.”

You smile sweetly and bat your eyelashes. “The bartender gave me a tequila shot on the house because he says I make a cute birthday girl.” You shrug sweetly and sit back in your seat.

Satoru raises a quizzical brow and scoffs. “Sure you do. Anyway, for someone who hates non-sorcerers, you surely do spend a lot of time around them.”

“Well,” you sigh and pick up your shot glass. “Ieiri wanted to take me out for my birthday, and the sorcerer-only club is lame, so I’m sucking it up. Here. At this fun bar.” You grin and twist around to face your friends who came to celebrate your birthday with you; Shoko, Nanami, Larue, Satoru of course, and Mei-Mei. “Let’s all raise our cups to a fun night.”

Your friends' eyes fall on you, and they all raise their drinks.

“And to your birthday!” Shoko adds with a soft smile.

“Yes, happy 28th, Y/N,” Larue says from the far end of the table so as to not sit next to the man that killed the man he looked up to. He wouldn't have come if your brother was coming too, but it is your birthday so he made an exception. “May you continue to age just as gracefully as you are now my beloved friend.”

You push your drink towards him and flash him a warm beaming grin.

“Happy birthday y/n,” Nanami interjects softly.

“Happy birthday, little sister,” Satoru surprises you, making you drift your gaze across from you to express that surprise in a soft manner—“May you continue to live on so I have someone to annoy.”

You groan softly and lower your cup as you narrow your gaze.

Satoru chuckles and leans over the table. “Happy birthday,” he says softer.

You draw out a small breath and offer him a sweet and genuine smile.

“To y/n’s birthday!” Mei-Mei says, making everyone raise their cups in the air before you pull them into your lips and start off the night.

When you finish your shot you slide that cup aside and pull in the original drink you ordered. “Now to change the music to something actually listenable, and then we should start our first game of the night!” you interject joyfully. You can’t have yourself feeling any other way today even if it’s your first birthday without Suguru. Because if you sit and really feel what you want to feel then no one will be able to take you out of that dark place called grief.

So you’re determined to feel nothing but gratitude for those who came to celebrate with you, and joy for being able to celebrate another year. And when you get so drunk that you begin to cry about your man then it’s whatever because you will already be drunk and partied out. That will be a good way to end the night!

Nevertheless, just as you take your first step, your phone begins to ring and threatens to ruin the night just as it started.

“How come you made all of us shut our phones off, but you get to have yours on?” Satoru complains.

You peer back at him with a pointed glare. “Because I have kids at home, and you all don’t, you guys get calls from work, so no phones for any of you until the night is over.” You shoot him a sweet smile and take a look at the screen, but realize the number is an unknown one.

Thus you hang up and waltz over to the jukebox and flip through the variety of music. It takes you a minute to click through all the music and find something you like, but you eventually find the right song, and just as you’re about to click on it your phone goes off again.

“Damn,” you hiss in annoyance and pull your phone out again to check. And once again it’s that same unknown number so you answer impatiently this time. “Hello!”

“Gojo,” a familiar deep voice greets you almost distastefully.

“Yaga?” You scoff. “Isn’t this a surprise?” You laugh. “I can't imagine you’d call to wish me a happy birthday, so,” you roll out almost with a hint of nervousness in your tone because a call from him doesn’t mean anything good. “What do you want?” You ask and press on the song to play overhead.

“Are you with your brother? He doesn’t answer his damned phone.”

You blink and feel your joy begin to fade away, and that brewing storm only grows darker and more dangerous. “Yeah,” you mutter and slowly turn around to give your back to the jukebox. “Please don’t tell me you’re also looking for Nanami, Shoko, and Mei-Mei?”

“Yes, I am! Are they with you too?! Why aren’t they answering their damn phones?! I get why Satoru wouldn’t, he’s a slack-off, but them?!” He shouts, causing you to pull your phone away from your ear. “Put me on speaker, Gojo, what I have to say concerns all of you.”

No, no.

You rush back to the table and slam your phone on the table to catch all of your friends' attention. “It’s Yaga,” you announce and put him on speaker.

“Oh,” Satoru begins to say playfully as he folds his arms over the table. “Yaga? Don’t tell me you feel hurt you’re not invited to my sister's birthday bash. Well, I would’ve told you but you know, it’s for young people only, you—”

“Shut up,” Yaga cuts him off, causing you to snicker. “Since none of you are answering your phones, listen well, there’s trouble brewing in Shibuya.”

Your amused smile falls and that joy you have been entertaining completely vanishes.

“I’m sorry I have to end your night, but all sorcerers, including allies, students, and staff alike have been summoned to deal with what’s going on.”

So not you? Please not you.

“Are you going to stop edging us on already?” Shoko cuts in as she rests her chin on her hand.

“Non-sorcerers have been trapped by a veil in Shibuya and are not allowed to go out,” Yaga finally shares, making everyone around the table except for Larue, to frown and grow serious and stiff. “Come to Shibuya now, I’ll explain everything else on the way. And before you say anything, y/n, you are being summoned too. Literally, the people inside the veil keep asking for the same things, we think it’s a condition by who made the veil, they say that in order to go out Satoru and Y/N Gojo need to come.”

You groan and drop your head on the table.

“Why should I even go?” You rebuttal. “I don’t help non-sorcerers.”

Yaga huffs out and sneers through the phone. “Because your brother will be here, and all your friends will come too. Don’t they matter?! Don’t do this for non-sorcerers, do this because the lives of the people you care about could be at risk!”

You groan softly in defeat and don’t say anything now. Instead, you actually end up entertaining this mysterious invitation sent by the curse-user, or special-grade intelligent curse, much to your dismay.

You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t listen to the plan they bombarded you with on your way to Shibuya, you shouldn’t change out of your cute birthday outfit, or take off the pretty and glittery birthday crown Satori made you.

You should be home eating more cake the twins made you, and watching a movie with your family snuggled up on the couch, or you should still be at that damn bar celebrating with your friends and your brother.

But no, you’re here. You’re with your brother a few miles away from the veil trapping non-sorcerers in, and sucking in others that were towards the middle of the veil. You’re in your sorcerer outfit and about to search for whatever is seeking you and your brother.

“They’ll probably be in the center of the veil,” Satoru says as he taps his chin. “And if it’s just us we should come at them from opposite sides and at least spook them since they’re already waiting for us.”

You blink repeatedly in disbelief and roll your eyes at him to retort. “Opposite sides? So you’re going to make me go all the way around?”

Satoru looks at you amused. “Why, I can float you there if you want. Or you can fly there, Satori says you can fly.”

You shake your head and look away. “Flying is an overestimate. I glide with the wind. You know? It supports me, I don’t fly.”

Satoru laughs softly. “Well, then I’ll go to the other side, just because it's your birthday.” He says.

You can’t help the smile tugging on your lips and nod. “Thanks. Or whatever.”

Satoru sighs and sounds serious now. “I am sorry that we had to leave the bar. Maybe we can make it up for Shoko’s birthday, hm? You two can go out and celebrate together.”

Without any other option, you nod. “Yeah. I’ll tell her about it.” You exhale and begin to notice how close you’re getting to the black veil. “At least the entire day wasn’t ruined though. I had a good day up until now. Breakfast with you and my five children was good…even if it was late,” you mumble and shoot him daggers.

Satoru chuckles and doesn’t add anything in that respect.

“So I’m grateful,” you finish in a whisper

“Good.”

You hum and just as you’re about to reach the veil you both come to a stop. “I’ll see you in there then,” you force yourself to change the subject before you want to ramble on to avoid this insidious problem.

“You know whatever happens in there, when you get out meet up with Yuji,” Satoru interjects as you both watch the black veil as if waiting for something to come out of it. “I don’t know if he’s connected to whatever’s happening here, but people still want him dead, so meet up with him.”

You place your hand on your hip and look down. “You’re acting like you won’t make it out of here.” You mumble.

Satoru scoffs. “It’s just in case things get crazy in there. Precautions.”

“Oh? You take those?” You ask sarcastically.

“I’ll meet up with you when I can, all right? So say you understand.”

You exhale deeply and roll your head up to meet his gaze with an assuring look. “Understood.” You reassure him.

Satoru nods and steps back. “It’s 8:30, I want to see you inside at 8:40.”

“I want to see you at 8:40!” You counter lightheartedly. “You’re the late one. Like this morning.”

Satoru scoffs. “8:40, or I’ll beat you up. Don’t care if it’s your birthday.”

You scrunch your nose with discontent and hum. And now without wasting another second, in the blink of an eye, he zips away. Now you have to go through the veil alone.

So much for a joyful birthday.

“Fuck this,” you grumble and let out a deep breath before you walk to the edge of that stupid veil. When you’re close you hesitantly reach for it with your hand.

And the moment the tip of your fingers touch the cold gooey texture you wait and stare at the black shield with discontent.

You’re not supposed to be here. You’re fucking semi-retired. You should be at home! Damn it!

You draw in another deep breath and finally step inside. Once you see the fucking calamity of people you huff out and groan.

A hood at this very moment would be excellent. But no, you didn't think of including one in your outfit. Now you’ll be recognized for sure. Damn it. Damn, damn!

Whatever, there’s nothing you can do about it now but keep your head low and push through.

Of course, as you do push towards the center where a second veil is trapping non-sorcerers inside and holding whoever is looking for you both, people begin to recognize you when they manage to catch glimpses of you. You do your best to ignore them and keep yourself to the least crowded sides.

Alas more and more people recognize you and those who do have genuine interest, and those who just want a picture for likes, begin to follow you and crowd you, so you begin to run to avoid having them distract you and escape through a backdoor in the station.

That’s one thing you can be grateful for that the school provided for you, knowledge of secret entrances through buildings and stations!

You imagine there’ll be more people, but for now, you’re in the clear.

Or at least you thought so, because just as you were about to exit the building and walk out to the tunnel, you hear footsteps approaching, so you stop and wait. In case it’s some enemy then you’ll fight them, if it’s another sorcerer or a starstruck fan then you’ll shoo ‘em away.

“Go away,” you break the silence as the footsteps find you and stop a few paces away from you. “Or I’ll make you.”

“Y/N.”

No.

You spin around on your heels and come face to face with Nanako and Mimiko.

“Wh…” you gasp and take long strides to reach them and grab them forcefully by the shoulders. “What are you two doing here? Go home!” You say without any sense of endearment. “Now!”

Nanako pulls her arm away from your grip and rebuttals for her and her sister. “No, we…” she pauses and glances at Mimiko nervously and then looks back at you and continues. “We want to help you, we’re old now. We know how to fight, we came to help.”

You shake your head and push them back. “No,” you counter sharply. “I don’t want your help, I have enough help. Go home, go to sleep, and when you wake up I’ll be there. Just go home.”

Nanako digs her heels in the ground and swats your hand off her before taking your other hand off Mimiko to argue back. “No! We’re not going home, and if you find some way to make us then we’ll come back because the truth is that we want to help you.”

You blink with surprise and swallow back nervously.

“We just want to help you,” Mimiko adds softly. “Geto and you taught us a lot. We’re strong because of the two of you. So we can do this, trust us just like how you trusted us last year.”

You step back and drop your head to let out a frustrated breath and think.

You did trust them last year, but the curses that invaded the streets were under Suguru’s control and they worked with the twins. There may not be curses here now, but there’s a chance they’ll appear, and they don’t work for them this time. This time whatever is here won't spare them because they’re young just like how they would’ve been spared last year by the opposing side. They’re in real danger now.

But they’re right, they’ll come back if you send them away and they’ll probably face more danger because of it, so…

You have to trust them. You have to trust that they’ll do the right thing and be smart. You have to let them spread their wings so they can learn to fly on their own.

So if they want to help then you’ll let them. You’ll trust them.

“Fine,” you sigh and face them. “Fine. But get out of here and wait if there’s trouble. Don’t get in the way, and run. There’s nothing wrong with running away, okay? Go home and just let me know. Yes?”

Nanako and Mimiko share a surprised look before they smile at each other and then at you.

“We will,” Mimiko assures you.

You draw out a nervous deep breath and walk over to them to embrace them. “Be careful. Keep your phone on, and answer me when I call.”

The twins wrap their arms around you and you squeeze them tighter against you.

“You be careful too,” Nanako says. “Don’t be stupid.”

You laugh softly. “Yeah, I’ll try not to be. You don’t be stupid either.”

“You’ve taught us to be better,” Mimiko praises you.

You smile and pull back to take one more look at them. “Careful. Run. Get out of the way, and if there’s trouble and you can’t reach me and need help, call Nanami. Or one of the kids, you became friends with Nobara, Fushiguro, and Itadori, they’ll be more than happy to help. Okay?”

Mimiko nods and you return the nod and step back. “I’m late to meet up with my brother, so I’ll trust that you will get out of the station. Be careful, and I love the two of you.” You shoot them one last smile before you turn and jog out to the tunnel.

Now back to this mess. Fuck. It, or whatever the fuck better be here.

And your gut better be right, you’re just following your gut as you jog through this dimly lit tunnel. Whatever invited you here could be anywhere through the second veil you easily passed through.

And! No curse better jump out while you’re in the dark.

Please no, please no, you keep muttering to yourself until you hear voices echoing as you approach the light at the end of the tunnel. And as you get closer you make out your brother, thankfully.

However, before you can be seen, or heard, you change your jog to a stride and stop just before you can step out of the shadows to examine the area.

You see your brother. He’s too tall not to spot right away. He’s going on about something you tune out for now.

You also see that tall and white curse that has twigs for eyes, the nature curse, or whatever. Next to it is volcano head, the curse Satoru said he beheaded. And next to volcano head is a person. Not a curse, an actual person.

He’s new and has not been mentioned by Satoru, or reported by the students. He’s not patch face either; this guy lacks blue hair and that raggedy black shirt Itadori said he wears.

No, this guy across from you is wearing a robe underneath a tight purple vest thing that covers his robe and sinches his waist. This guy has dark brown hair and wears buns on his head. This guy is new. And this guy is turning his head!

Shit, shit!

You back up, but his brown eyes still meet your gaze hidden in the shadows. This guy…this guy with a black mark over his nose, and light purple circles over his small eyes notices you first. You’re basked by the shadows of the tunnel, but he still sees you. And as he keeps his tired-looking gaze on you, you see his thin eyebrows furrow, and his eyes slowly narrow on you, and your heart suddenly skips a beat.

He doesn’t say anything though, he slowly begins to turn his body, and you stay there and hold his gaze as you feel as if you’re unable to move from your spot. The thought that he’s mesmerizingly attractive crosses your mind, but maybe that’s because you need to get laid; it’s been too long.

Whatever the case, you ignore the thought and your crazy beating heart and finally find the will to move and step out of the shadows. Without letting go of that guy's dark and threatening gaze the entire time.

A/N- I felt butterflies writing that scene with Choso hehe…

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154

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conflictofthemind · 24 days

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Can we Please Re-Open the Petergate?

Ever since learning about Petergate in its entirety, it has been breaking my brain. There’s obviously something incredibly important happening here, enough so that it has to be hidden until the final season of the season.

For those not in the know, Sam Owens has / had a son named Peter that was first name dropped in Season 4. For some reason, the military wants his old schoolwork as evidence in the investigation of the Chrissy murder in Hawkins.

We also pretty much know that Peter is dead. The way Owens acts around Will in Season 2 as the only scientist who is actually determined to save his life, and the implications he makes that he understands the plight of Joyce both heavily imply he has lost a child. This also adds a layer to the whole ‘taking away your son’s precious school projects’ if that son is dead and those are some of the only memories you have left.

Okay so: Sam Owens lost a child, which explains his character motivations in the show. But it’s not quite interesting just ending it there, is it? And why leave this to be seemingly be a reveal in the fifth season where we already have so much else to take care of? Would Sam Owens’ son dying really be that impactful towards the narrative? Would that warrant the copious amounts of references (at least seven just in season 4) to Peter that exist within the show and are still coming out even in recent ST5 BTS pictures?

Something about Peter Owens has to be crucial information in the fight against Vecna.

Let us also remember that those military agents took Peter Owens’ schoolwork as some kind of evidence in relation to the Henry Creel murders, and it was important enough to highlight to the audience.

Let’s go over some facts:

1) Sam Owens has a house in Ruth, Nevada where he lives with his wife. Population irl of only a few hundred people.

2) Henry Creel lived in Rachel Nevada which uh didn’t exist in the 50s during his childhood where he encountered:

3) The Nevada Experiment. Henry happens upon related equipment and is briefly transported into Dimension X before coming back with powers and an altered personality.

4) In TFS, Henry is mentioned to have put a classmate from Nevada in a wheelchair following the events of his trip to Dimension X.

5) Henry was in the care of different doctors before he met Dr. Brenner and moved to Hawkins.

We curiously get no more explanation on this matter; whatever happened in Nevada is probably some of the most crucial information and is thus saved for Season 5. We’ve already gotten most answers that are relevant to Henry’s backstory in Hawkins… but not for Nevada.

Some of the major questions for S5 include:

1) What is Dimension X?

2) What is the actual origin of the Mindflayer and is it an independent sentient being?

3) How did Henry develop powers while in Dimension X?

4) What was the Nevada Experiment and the original Project Rainbow?

Since the military took Peter Owens’ schoolwork as evidence… it means Peter is at least connected in some way to this mystery, if not directly to Henry and probably implies the two knew each-other and were even classmates who worked on projects together.

Here’s the basis of what I propose (to be expanded upon later of course):

Henry and Peter were classmates in their youth fairly likely at this point. Henry and Peter were working together on a project that had them investigating the Nevada cave system. Or perhaps something relating to Area 51 / secret US government stuff. The project has to be relevant evidence since the military took it. This is what led to Henry stumbling upon the dimensional equipment in the cave that transported him to Dimension X.

My question is - what if Peter was also involved in Henry’s disappearance? Maybe he disappeared with him, and this was covered up by the government. Or he was simply exposed to the event but didn’t get transported with Henry, just became severely ill because of this Dimension X virus, and died as a result.

Or maybe Peter was meant to disappear as part of Brenner’s Project Nevada experiment. They didn’t plan for Henry to be there as well, and sure didn’t plan for him to be taken. The whole “rogue staff member stealing the equipment and hiding it inside a cave where Henry just happens upon it I guess” has been weird for a while. Maybe Peter was actually older and involved with P. Nevada, and he was the rogue staff member who hid the equipment? But then how did Henry conveniently get there and why was the schoolwork taken.

I don’t want to make this post too long; but something about this gives me major Will and El parallels in a way I can’t really illustrate quite yet. Boy gets taken under suspicious circumstances that could imply HNL meddling, but this time the supernatural kid is able to save him and bring him back. Owens becomes interested by this and comes to study Will in S2.

Owens also mentions that he has risked his family’s lives for the sake of their research, which I feel is relevant here. He’s talking about the current day NINA Project… but it could of course be a reference to the fact that this happened before, and ended in tragedy.

So wow, that got long! I didn’t even get to mention the Fringe parallels that people have brought up. This is just going to be Part 1 into my investigation of Petergate.

There’s so much promise in this potential storyline that I think really needs to get investigated, so I hope this interested people regardless of whether or not they’ve already come across Petergate. The fact that Henry’s time in Nevada is such a major gap in his backstory really fascinates me as to what they’re hiding from us.

#henry creel #sam owens #martin brenner #petergate #stranger things #peter owens #will byers #<- by extension. I think he is involved somehow

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maleficentra · 7 months

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Whispers of Secrets and Shadows

You know that line from Astarion when he says to The Dark Urge "You have a manner way of being desperate. I like that."

My short story will eventually end up on sheets of paper as a drawing, but for now I'll write down my desperation.

Irresistible Manner of Desperation: Astarion finds something fascinating about Tav's despair. Her vulnerability and inner struggles make her fascinating and compelling to him. He is drawn to the depth of her emotions and the complexity of her character.

I like it: This sentence implies that Astarion is not put off or repelled by Tav's darkness or the complexity of her past. Instead, he is attracted to her and finds her appealing.

In essence, Astarion is expressing an emotional connection and attraction to Tav's complex personality. He appreciates her for who she is, and this moment of dialogue suggests a growing emotional connection between the two characters.

_________Whispers of Secrets and Shadows_______

Astarion: "You know, my dear," Astarion purred, his tone shifting from playful to contemplative. "You're keeping something hidden, something you're guarding. It hardly seems fair when you're privy to so much of my history…" His eyes bore into hers, genuine concern etching lines on his face. "And yet, I know so little about yours."

Tav chuckled, her eyes dancing with a blend of mischief and vulnerability. "What's there to tell? I can't remember."

Astarion: Astarion's smile softened as he gently prodded, "Come on, give it a try, my dear. What do you recall?"

Tav's gaze wandered upwards, her expression pensive.

"I do remember… I remember an intense love for cats (laughs), I remember I had many lovers," she admitted, punctuating it with a hearty laugh. "I indulged in their company and then… well, I often brought our time to a dark end. But you, my dear, you may be one of the few I haven't killed after a night of pleasure."

Astarion's laughter rang out in harmony with hers. "Ah, you were born with a touch of the macabre, I see."

Tav: (grinning) "The twisted ones are always the most captivating, aren't they? (reflecting) Let me think… I remember a grand waterfall nestled in the mountains, kissed by the morning sun, and a picnic with the most delectable noodle chicken soup I've ever tasted. (smiles warmly) It was cheesy, yes, and incredibly romantic, which, secretly, I adore. Please, don't tell a soul."

Astarion: (smirking) "Your secret's safe with me, my dear."

Tav: (lost in thought) "There was someone else, not a lover, more like… a mentor, I believe. I… I ended his life, unintentionally. He told me before he died, 'You are second to none.'"

Tav's demeanor shifted, her face growing solemn. Her voice quivered as she confided, "I remember my eyes changing, as if invisible strings were pulling me, forcing me to dance like a puppet. But I never wanted to be a puppet. I thought my lovers, my mentor… they could love me, despite the monstrous within."

Astarion watched her closely, his surprise giving way to understanding.

Astarion: "…Who told you that?"

Tav sighed, her gaze distant. "Let's just leave it at that, alright? That's the extent of my memory, along with my name and my age, and…" She paused, her voice catching.

"What I hold dear eventually fades. That which I venerate is destined to meet its demise. Only through my poison can you find renewal. I might not be the caring, virtuous soul you believe me to be. It's probably best if you keep your distance." Her face bore a profound sadness.

Astarion's laughter faded as he listened, his eyes reflecting deep empathy.

Tav locked eyes with Astarion, his tone now a mix of playfulness and vulnerability. "I'll be your loyal confidante, prepared to divulge my darkest secrets as you hold the key to my redemption. You possess an irresistible manner of desperation, and I find it incredibly perfect tempting."

Her cheeks flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and confusion as he referred to her as the "perfect temptation." She viewed herself as a monster, unable to control the darkness within her, and being labeled as "perfect" left her momentarily speechless, her face revealing the internal conflict of her emotions.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 tav #astarion romance #tav x astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x dark urge #fanfic

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winterzsurprise · 1 year

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Unholy || Karl Jacobs

Pairing: Karl Jacobs x fem! Reader

Summary: To be a priest meant your loyalty shall rest with the lord and Karl would be a lying if he said he wouldn't want to lie with you instead.

Words: 6.4k

Tags: Overstimulation, priest! Karl, switch!Karl (he whines and comes first does that count?), porn without plot, rough sex, floor sex, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, priest kink, religious kink (i guess), cursing, dirty talk, name calling.

This is a fucking mess because I forced this one during my biggest writer's block but HEY ITS FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED AFTER MONTHS. I'll go fix the mess later on, I am ready to pass out.

As always, constructive criticism is welcomed. I would like to hear what I should change and what not :DD