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atherix · 2 years

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ITS TIME TO SCREAM AGAIN I AM CRACKING MY FINGERS I AM TYPING IN A WORD DOC LETS GO. @ your lovely readers I need you all to know I read this at 7 in the morning and it is the sole reason I even woke up bc atherix SENT ME A DM BEING LIKE ‘You’re welcome’ WITH NO CONTEXT BUT I KNEW! I KNEW!!!

God the combination of the current agitation with the previous peace is such a good parallel to how Past worked as a little buffer between the previous parts of Midnight and now, how things are starting to really ramp up rapidly. But also – who did take the picture? Gem? The Beans? Grian or Mumbo? So many options. Well I guess it cant be Grian or Mumbo since he’s actively wondering who took the photo unless Mumbo was hanging around during the staff carving without Grian which I doubt. And it’s such a small thing too and yet it feels so normal in the middle of this just utter chaos that is the three of them almost dying. [The four of them, I saw how Scar looked. Well. Read. Saw. You get me.]

AND THEN THE SPLIT SECOND WHERE GRIAN THINKS SCAR MIGHT FOLLOW THE WATCHERS? DIRECTLY FOLLOWING GRIAN LOOKING AT THESE PEACEFUL PHOTOS?????/ THE PARALLELS AT PLAY HERE FHSKJFLK And that split second of Grian being like “No no no nononono-“ god I’m so happy they’re gonna talk next chapter, it’s a very good thing Grian didn’t act on his immediate instinct to panic and instead actually used his brain for longer than a second, but oh my god. It is a good thing they’re going to talk. I need them to talk. I need Grian to s p i l l because to some extent he’s spilt sure, but scar and mumbo have said SO much more than he’s said even to just mumbo or you know. Us. The readers. And lkgshfd I need them to TALK about it oh my god and then also the way grian goes ‘it doesn’t matter I trust scar’ and puts it back sadklgsd esp coupled with how he and Scar argue later in the story I am screaming. Also this part – “because he’s not an Observant anymore, either. Maybe in more ways than one, he thinks.” YEAH, GRIAN. YEAH. A LITTLE BIT. ‘Godling’. Whatever.

The way he’s compelled to look at this thing though, at the last page? I am FROTHING at the mouth for watcher stuff oh my god. That whole passage hit me right in the religious trauma. I may have made notes. Ahem. “to Judge and Weigh the hearts of those who threaten thy Chosen” So I’m gonna scream about this until you tell us what the chosen is. BTW. “This is what it means to be a Watcher, and this Pantheon shall not entertain the Wretched Gods who turn their backs on these Tenets” Grian ‘I don’t remember this part in the book/I don’t remember the watchers acting according to their tenets’ BABY WHY DO YOU THINK YOU KILLED THEM. ALSO. TERRIFIED FOR THE MULTIPLE IMPLICATIONS IN THE TENETS FOR GRIAN. BTW. I SEE YOU. “Observe that which does not belong to thee” I SEE YOU and the way it tells him to find his PEOPLE and it seems to be speaking directly TO HIM IM!!!!!!! The fact that he answers his own question in a sense because he makes sure to point out they’re his family. His people. His place.

ALSO THE FACT THAT THIS THE FIRST TIME GRIAN HAS FLOWN SINCE HE WAS CLIPPED AND ITS TO GO DO SOMETHING TO IRREVOCABLY STUPID THAT I WANT TO SHAKE HIM LIKE A BAG OF DRIED BEANS!!!! GRIAN!!!! I DON’T WANT YOU TO DIE BUT FRANKLY THIS IS DUMB ENOUGH THAT YOU DESERVED THE ABSOLUTE SCARE ON YOUR LIFE BLONDIE FUCKING GAVE YOU TO BE HONEST!!!!!!! Oh and I love that while he’s doing this ridiculously dumb thing he’s also being smart about how he gets into the house IM GONNA THROTTLE HIM!!!! FRANKLY SCAR MIGHT ALSO THROTTLE HIM BASED ON HIS REACTION LATER ON-

Speaking of Scar, the little signs that he’s been in the manor more and more, that he’s *theirs* and they are *his* is so asladksh I am in love. Especially considering this whole chaotic day started with them trying to get the sunroom together to surprise Scar. I am emotional about it. AND THEY WAY IT LENDS HIMSELF TO GRIAN REALLY LEANING INTO HIS POSSESSIVE STREAK, WHICH I GESTURE ABOVE BACK TO THE TENETS ABOUT, MIND YOU.

ASDGFSH; Grian. Sweetie. I am throttling you personally. ‘Coming here alone was stupid’ YEAH IT WAS, TURN AROUND AND GO BACK OUT THE WINDOW, BUT NOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOO WE GOTTA GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FACE DOWN THE STARVING VAMPIRE WHO TOLD YOU YOU HAD GODLING BLOOD BC YOU WANT ANSWERS! Picture me absolutely shaking him. Speaking of the vampire, the way Blondie MANGLED their home as a reflection of how she mangled them too. Christ. She drives me insane in the worst way, that’s their HOME- [Mumbo get silver out of your HOME I AM ALSO THROTTLING HIM!!!!!]

This show down though is worth the absolute throttling I want to give Grian. The way he’s thinking about the blood she’s wasting of Mumbos, how he’s worried about his mates, their home, their son. Mm mm mm. Could he have done it better yes. 100% But the way Blondie wrecks him and threatens him and he doesn’t back down means so much to me. This bird drives me insane. And then also this little slip of this new instinct – the wrong wrong wrong [Between you and Mochi the way you have both utilized this is making me FROTH at the MOUTH I am an oversteamed LATTE SDKLGHSFD], the way he also tried to see Blondie without actually seeing her [im assuming that’s what the pressure in the back of his mind was] oh he is SO close to awakening you are going to drive me INSANE.

The way the scent of blood on Blondie makes Grian recoil because he’s seen her take it before without permission and knows that she is like, a nasty vampire, as opposed to Mumbo who has only ever taken blood he had permission for [And I assume isn’t so fucking MESSY] is such a great perpendicular image oh my god. Here are these two creatures who are the same creature and yet they are so different.

“But I will be” SENT SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE! HE BOTH DOES AND DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE’S SAYING. I WANT TO SHAKE HIM AGAIN!!!! “He doesn’t want to be a God. He just wants to be Grian.” Wheres that why not both gif. ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THAT BLONDIE REVEALS THAT BC THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY GODLINGS ARE MADE GRIAN DID IT TO HIMSELF – SHE HAS NO IDEA [Or what little she does know I cant imagine it went that in depth] AND ITS DRIVING ME OVER A CLIFF!!!! OH MY GOD I cannot stress enough how happy I am that next ch they are TALKING bc yeah ‘I killed my gods mumbo’ happened but like I truly do not think that’s fully processed in the wet cat of a vampire.

And the fact that she got SO close to doing to Grian what she did to Scar but Mumbo is there to stop it this time makes me INSANE. Mumbo, who watched his wife die. Mumbo, who’s had Scar drank from, had Grian kidnapped because of his blood, had to deal with far too much of Blondie, showing up just a second before she really gets Grian proper. YEAH NO WONDER THE MAN IS LIVID, GRIAN I am shaking him again. Frankly. IT’S A GOOD THING MUMBO HAS BEEN PRACTICING HIS MAGIC. I MEAN. I KNOW HE PRACTICED IT BC HE KNEW HE NEEDED TO PROTECT HIS COVEN BUT HO BOY IT’S A GOOD THING HE PRACTICED HIS MAGIC.

What on earth is the book Tubbo is holding. I’m putting this here to hold on to this thought I’ll get back to this in a bit –

THE FACT THAT MUMBO FEELS GUILTY THAT HE DIDN’T WAKE UP TO HEAR GRIAN SLIPPING OUT TO DO HIS DUMBEST STUNT – YEAH. YEAH. GRIAN DESERVES THE GUILT EATING HIM UP A BIT FOR THIS ONE TBH. Like not to the point of self-deprecative destruction but just a little guilt eating. As a treat.

Sidenote I just got an idea for a monster that eats emotions

AND THEN! THE MOMENT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR! I feel like everyone needs to know that I have been referring to Blondie holding onto Tubbo as a meat shield and a beverage as ‘Capri Sunning’ him. AND IT WAS EVERYTHING. The way she teleports to a bunch of different places to disorient them. The way they have to VERY QUICKLY face the fact that yep. Yep. They see Tubbo as their son. He’s the coven child and she’s GOT him. SDLKFHWG. Very proud of both of them for realizing she was absolutely lying to them about exchanging Tubbo for anybody. Why give up her meat shield. Look at them using their brain cells. And then they immediately stop using their brain cells to dart after a woman who can teleport. I get it. Tubbo is in danger and distress. BUT ITS LIKE THE BRAINCELLS JUST FLEW OUT W THE SCREAMING. Which is what I deserve to be honest. ‘Looks too much like she took a literal bite out of him’ alskdgfdh

AND THEN SCAR, HAVING CLEARLY BEEN THROUGH SOME SHIT OF HIS OWN, READY TO TAKE ON SOME MORE SHIT BECAUSE THAT’S HIS SON. HIS CLAIM. GOD. YES. And the fact that she could have so easily just left with Tubbo or snapped his neck or twisted his head off or dropped him from the third story is not lost on me. Im sure that gonna lead to some absolutely god awful nightmares for Scar and Company.

I also desperately want to know what Scar and Tubbo said to each other. Give me the cruuuuuuumbs. But also “There's a dim Fairy light fluttering by Tubbo's foot, and Blondie doesn't notice it for the shadow blocking it from her view.” The COORDINATION IN THIS SCENE. LOOK AT THEM. LOOK AT THEM. THEY ARE MATES AND THAT’S THEIR SON!!!! ABLE TO COMMUNICATE ABSOLUTELY SILENTLY ASKDLFDSH And then the cool, calm, knows his son is okay with his magic that Scar presents as both Mumbo and Grian RUSH forward when Tubbo activates the fairy lights – THIS SCENE IS SO COOL! I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT IT! The visual alone is mesmerizing, but the way it plays into all the magic strengths available to them [obviously not grian bc. No magic yet.] dkflsg AND EVEN THE PENDANT!!! THE PROTECTIVE PENDANT SCAR GAVE HIM! AHHHHH

At this point I feel like we’ve asked how Blondie isn’t dead like 5 times in this series and EVERY time I am gobsmacked she got away in the best way oh she is INSANE and I LOVE it. But also the fact that Tubbo just fucking VAULTED over the handrail the whole family is so in tune with each other oh my god. And all of them gathered around, on the defensive now, scar’s wind picking up I am feeling things.

The explanation of how magic breakdown works is fascinating and I love how they even have time for a little banter about how slow Mumbo feeds but SLFKDG THE PARALLELS BETWEEN MUMBO AND OTHER VAMPIRES IS SO COOL And then the whole brief talk of turning and ‘why do you two care about turning??” these men are wet rats wearing a trenchcoat. “Scar pauses- as if he’s just realized something” I feel like this has to be about like, ways to slow Scar’s Core down from killing him or preventing it all together but SADLKFSH SCAR WHAT DID YOU REALIZE. I THOUGHT WE ALREADY TOOK TURNING OFF THE T – WAIT. WAIT. Other creatures other than vampires feed on blood according to mumbo. HEY ATHERIX – DOES THAT INCLUDE THE VEX??? I NEED TO KNOW FOR SCIENCE REASONS.

AND THEN THE ARGUMENT! OH BOY YOU CAN F E E L THE ADRENALINE RUNNING THROUGH BOTH GRIAN AND SCAR BECAUSE IT GETS SO HEATED AND THEY’RE BOTH SO FREAKED OUT AHH I FEEL SO BAD FOR TUBBO FRANKLY HE DESERVED TO GO OFF. AND THEY WAY SCAR’S MAGIC MOVES WITHOUT HIM SEEMING TO NOTICE TO BE AROUND THEM SALDFKGDFSH And the fact that Grian in all his wisdom recognizes that its not anger its FEAR and he needs to APOLOGIZE lafdkga of all the things he did in this fic that’s gotta be the smartest one tbh. THEY’RE ALL SO POSSESSIVE OF EACH OTHER AUGH AND THE LIL SNIPPET YOU POSTED FOR YOUR ASKS GAME HAS ME GOING INSANE NOW FR.

GO OFF KING TUBBO! I AM SNAPPING MY FINGERS! GO GO GO GO! GO OFF TUBBO!!! CLAP FOR THE BOY EVERYONE CLAPS HE DESERVES THIS HOW WAS THE CATHARSIS TUBBO!!! Also I said it earlier but I will say it again THIS PART -

““And Grian!” Grian almost jolts up at the sound of his name, having never heard Tubbo use it, and even Scar looks surprised as Tubbo turns his ire on Grian, anger fear frustration written across his face. “That stunt you pulled! Leaving us behind to face Myrani by yourself!”

“You did what-” Scar starts, but Tubbo barrels on.”

- IF I WAS GRIAN I WOULD WANT TO BE SET ON FIRE. And you know what Tubbo also deserves to just yell into the night sky. Good for him. Good for you king. Get it out. Someone put Tubbo in a rage room and let him go insane he just got Capri Sun’d and his dads are all being incredibly dumb.

Love also that they only just remembered about Blondie BEING IN THE DAMN MANOR while they’re having this conversation, INCREDIBLY smart on her part to be like “Oh huh uh the wind. Went away. They’re yelling at each other. Deuces.” Also I did NOT miss the fact that while tubbo is STILL going [good for HIM make them SIT DOWN and stop BEING STUPID] Mumbo was also like “Huh you know nows a great time to slide out of here and go. Look. For Blondie yep-“ BUT ALSO TUBBO USING THE PENDANT SCAR GAVE HIM AGAINST SCAR!!! CLAPPING!!!!!

GOD I AM SO READY FOR THEM TO TALK also for those playing along at home, on word we are at 7 PAGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And 2449 words.

I am once again answering at almost 3 AM because I have no regard for a proper and healthy sleep schedule <3

I want everyone to know I am the worst and most cryptic friend you can ever have exactly because of stuff like this LMAO-

Haha yesss <3 A big reason I included Midnights Past (other than being super self-indulgent) was a breather episode cause shit has gotten REAL here <3 haha Scar and Mumbo definitely do spend time together alone (mainly when Grian's asleep hkfskjd) but you're right, he definitely wouldn't have been at the staff carving without Grian hjfdskj. I wonder who would be invited to see Tubbo carve his first staff... :) On a completely random aside you have no idea how much I'm looking forward to Grian and Mumbo being added to the wall too. (In b4 "vampires don't have reflections/show up in photos" that is only true if the mirror has a silver backing and photography in the Midnight universe has come far enough to no longer include silver <3) A small moment of peace, reminding Grian what he has to lose <3

HAHA YEAH IMAGINE IF HE HAD FOUND IT WHEN THEY VISITED AQUA TOWN HA HA HA <3 But at this point Grian and Scar have history and they love each other so much so he chooses to trust Scar and think of alternative reasons why Scar might have this thing <3 Because this could have gone very badly if it had happened at any other time lmaooo <3 Hm hm hmmmm we'll see what gets said in the next chapter. But you're definitely right, the next chapter is gonna be a huge Grian chapter bc between the three of them, we've seen the least of his history <3 They shall TALK FINALLY and it will be glorious <3 Well he didn't exactly put it back LMAO he was going to but then the whole uh whisper in his ear thing... and he takes it to the manor with him instead... but still, your point stands <3 YEAH LMAO I was giggling when I wrote that line <3

I love Watcher stuff and am itching to get to the meat of it jhfsdjkfdsjk. AH NO I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE RELIGIOUS TRAUMA but it tracks I think, Grian too has the religious trauma. HA. What if I never confirm or deny what the chosen means. What if I let everyone just assume :) jk jk hjfsdjkfdhj HAHAHA oh yes, there's something there that I cannot WAIT to write about. :) But which I will not expand on here because- well, MAJOR spoilers jhkfdk <3 :) Heheheh yes, that last page.... that will be fun to discuss. I mean it's discussed next chapter but... something about that last page won't be revealed until a certain.. adventure. :) YESSSS I am happy you noticed his thoughts immediately calling back to the passage, as he was actively thinking about it and comparing his situation to it and just hjfdsjkfdskj-

YEAH LMAO I thought to myself "maybe when he catches Tubbo should be the first time he flies since being clipped" which would have been BEAUTIFUL and absolutely heartwarming. Buuuut I also thought "you know, it's totally him to finally fly because he's stubborn and his two braincells are splitting. Hm." hjkfhdskj YEAH he's so SMART and SNEAKY but such a one-track minded bird brain <3 HJFSKJDS LMAO everyone wants to throttle him for this stunt JKFSKLKAS-

Yessssssss makes me want to write a 5 + 1 that shows all the things he's left behind lmao. Cuz something I really loved writing over the course of Midnight is how Scar starts off having never stayed at the manor, instead being a frequent guest at the Inn, and then he stays at the manor when he's too injured to get home, and then he only stays occasionally when either Grian or Mumbo ask/demand he stay, and just starts staying more frequently until he just doesn't go to the Inn anymore (except maybe to say hi to Keralis). He has his own room at the manor now, even if it's unofficially and he doesn't use it anymore because now he's with Grian and Mumbo which means when he stays the night Grian absolutely grabby-hands him for sleepy cuddles, and. I just. I love the evolution of Scar going from having never stayed (willingly) in the manor to pretty much always staying at the manor when he's in Boatem and just hjfdsjkfdsk <3 ANYWAY TANGENT ASIDE but YES Grian leaning into his more possessive side, partly just because he's him and partly because he's trying to push himself... it doesn't work obviously, he has no idea what he's doing when it comes to his magic, BUT! jkfsdjkfdsjk!

Grian, looking at a wall of fire: Yeah I can walk through that UFHSHFKJS he is so. There were so many better ways to get answers. Scar is a history/legends nerd, man, he probably KNOWS. (I say as the author of this story, knowing exactly what Scar does and doesn't know hjkfdsjkfdk) I love Blondie because she's despicable <3 AND YEAH MUMBO with his passive self destruction just. jhkfdslkfdk-

Grian just being like "what a waste" and just jhfdsjkfds their home, their stuff and so much damage, things are ruined and they need to fix it but also there are more important things than fixing broken tile and just hjfdsjkfdkj- He is a reckless and brave bird who doesn't realize he's getting plaid until it's too late because Blondie is a biiiit hard to read, she's such a shit person that he can't tell if the deception and amusement is just her general expression or a sign of something dangerous hjfsdjfdsjk- LOOK I LOVE THE wrong wrong wrong thing, I love the triple repetition of an action or feeling that emphasizes the severity of the action or feeling and just jkfsdjkfkdsj. Idk it just spikes the eerie nervousness, it's so much more tense than just saying "something feels wrong about this situation" and just fhjkdsjkfdskj- YEAH YOU CAUGHT IT he was absolutely trying to pull on his Watcher magic now that he's pretty confident that's what he is. He fails because it's not awakened yet buuuut <3

You act as if Mumbo having blood on his fangs and lips wouldn't drive Grian absolutely wild hkfdJKDJKDSJK but yes, Mumbo is absolutely a much more ethical and neater Vampire than Blondie, who is. Well. She's something else alright. HJfjkdshjfdsjk-

YEAH HE KNOWS BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT ANY OF THIS MEANS HE HAS NO IDEA AND BLONDIE DOESN'T REALLY EITHER BUT SHE HAS MORE OF AN IDEA THAN HE DOES AND IJUST HJDSJHDJKS- Both is good yes LMAO. Grian's gonna have to figure out how to be both at the same time, though <3 AND YEA GRIAN DID IT TO HIMSELF AND WE ALL KNOW HOW BUT HE ISN'T 100% SURE HIMSELF AND JUST JHFSJKDS yes oh man and to think I almost ended this fic without a good and honest talk. They need to figure this out bc oooo man <3 AND YEAH Mumbo has heard those words but has not really realized what it means, in the grander scheme of things. For him he just thinks "Grian can never go back because the Watchers will kill him for what he did" LMAO-

YES. This time Mumbo is there to stop her, he is able to save Grian just in time, and MAN YES MUMBO PRACTICING HIS MAGIC FINALLY IS GONNA BE SUCH A LIFE SAVER HUH. :) Haha I haven't written this certain fic yet (the one that explores Mumbo and Scar's relationship before Grian got involved) but Mumbo is often described by other Vampires as the man who "loses and loses again," besides his general distance he keeps from everyone there is a reason Scar tried so hard to make Mumbo actively dislike him so he'd never hurt him...... :) Which is a feeling that gets properly confronted next chapter by the way <3

Hold onto that thought :)

MUMBO FEELS RESPONSIBLE FOR THEM ALL, they're HIS Coven and he's THEIR Lord he should be able to protect them </3 (which we of course know isn't how it fully works but Mumbo is new to these emotions/instincts of his and just hjfsdjkkfds) Grian deserves a tiny bit of gnawing guilt about this yes-

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 Hi I need you to DM me asap?

HAHAHAHA you have FINALLY gotten the capri-sun scene JKFHSJKFS dear readers I talked about/described this scene to them ONCE and they have been eagerly waiting for it and I am so happy to finally deliver HJKFHSKJ <3 YESSSS Blondie being able to teleport is so fun because unlike Mumbo's shadow-walking, you don't know where Blondie is going. AND YEAH Blondie even calls him a Coven child jkfdjkfsd if that don't spell it out. (and later on Tubbo even talks about the whole Lord and Coven thing and uses the words we so-) Having no time to process that yes, this child (who is a legal adult but ya know-) is their child now too and AW SHIT fhjjfkgdsjk the moment he gets bitten all logical thought goes out the window and Grian almost faceplants painfully into a few different things hfgdsjkgfdjk but they just want to save him and just. KJDHSJKDS <3

SCAR WILL SQUARE UP FOR HIS SON'S SAKE. He is injured himself, tired and possibly low on magic :) :) but damn, his kid's in trouble and he activated the teleportation glyph in Tubbo's bee glyph SO FAST. Possibly the moment he got a chance- YEAH trust me the nightmares from this are gonna be terrible haha makes a certain future scene :) That you are the only one who knows about :)) a little more :) :) Hm hmm-

hjfgdjkgfdkj it was something very simple, like "Is the pendant charged?" "Not fully, needs magic" jkfsdjkfdjk YEAH Mumbo didn't know what Scar was planning but the moment he saw that Fairy light he knew he needed to hide it from Blondie <3 Once again thank goodness he's been practicing with his magic hjfdsjk BUT YESSSSSS THE COHESIVENESS, THE FLAWLESS WORKING TOGETHER I AM JUST HKFSKJSD YESSS Scar being calm and collected while Mumbo and Grian are like "WAIT A MINUTE WHAT THE HECK THAT'S RAW MAGIC" jkfhsdkjhgk let me tell you, I have ALWAYS imagined this scene going that way- with Tubbo using Scar's Fairy light to activate the protection glyph he has <3 jkfsdfdjk AND YES THE SHOWCASE OF ALL THE MAGIC I love it. One day Grian will join in <3 AND YESSS THE MVP PROTECTION PENDANT HHHAHHDS-

At least now we have a bit of an answer <3 kfdsjkfdkj YEAH Tubbo vaulted over like he was so confident that ONE of them would catch him cuz he jumped from the THIRD FLOOR and just hjfjdskfgds he knew at least Scar wouldn't let him hit the ground <3 So much trust in this family I love them <3 They're a FAMILY your honor-

Yessss from the moment I established how Vampires actually feed (off the inherent magic found in blood) I knew I'd need to talk about this eventually, because establishing that magic cannot actually mix or be absorbed by 99% of the Supernatural population, because of how it conflicts with their own magic... I knew I'd have to explain eventually how Vampires are able to use other people's magic jkfgfdlk And yes. I specified Supernaturals on purpose. Because there is a group of Natural that is very well known for absorbing foreign magic into their own core :) They will ALWAYS find time to banter <3 HFJKSHKFDSJK Mumbo is just <3 My beloved hkjglfdkgdf LMAO WET RATS IN TRENCH COATS pretty much <3 Mumbo is sus immediately and Scar barely even gives the conversation a first thought, nevermind a second- HJFKSHJKFDSK :) I cannot say about that :)

YEAH THE ARGUMENT WAS FUN TO WRITE but it made me nervous just writing it so <3 But I am also anxiety personified so uh- BUT YEAH I agree Tubbo 1000% deserved to go off after this </3 But they're both freaked out and worried and afraid and they just need to talk <3 HA let me tell you magic responding to a person's emotions is one of my weaknesses I am WEAK for it AND YES Grian's little emotion-reading power comes in clutch, Scar is scared because he just found out he was so close to losing Grian and Mumbo and Tubbo and just jkfjkfdl <3 <3 He loves Scar and doesn't want to hurt him in any way and just <3<3 HAHA YESSSSSS <3

I AM CLAPPING FOR HIM. THE CATHARSIS, THE JUST SCREAMING, PROBABLY SOME THINGS HE'S BEEN THINKING FOR A WHILE, SCAR. FHJSKFJLKS that is the epitome of "it was at this moment Grian knew, he fucked up." JUST JKFSKLJS Tubbo, who was raised to not use people's real names (even though he is not Fae and would only be able to compel a Fae with their name, and not a non-Fae kjfsdkj), using Grian's real name. That's like- calling someone's first, middle and last name in the house HJKFDHJLKFS Tubbo needs a rage room. He needs time to just vent and rant because he's gotten custody of the shared Coven braincell this chapter jkfdslofdskj

LMAO YEAH she just peaced out. To be fair to her, though (which I hate doing, really)- she's injured and weak and in a very primal state, and they're yelling and Scar's magic is flaring and who knows what Grian's might have been doing at that moment and just hjfdshgjkdhjkfgds she chooses to fight another day when it's less likely Scar's magic will explode and Grian's magic will violently awaken LMAO- hfkjdshgjklds I thought it was funny when I wrote it, too- Tubbo going off on his dad while Scar apologizes, because an apology isn't gonna magically fix everything, and Mumbo just. Listening. While he tries to get the door locked again and searches the manor with his shadows. Just. Hjkfsdklfds And yes the pendant. Tubbo knows a little about the pendant's history and the way it made Scar feel, it's his way of saying tell them. Let them in. Let yourself trust them with the most fragile parts of you, because that's what you do with people you love. And the pendant- the symbol of Scar's father's love for him, his desire to protect him, which became the symbol of Scar's love and desire to protect his son, something inherently so powerful yet gentle and fragile, something that needs to be taken care of and tended to but which can save your life with such a grand display of power....... do you see the metaphor here-

I AM ALSO READY FOR THEM TO TALK I HAVE BEEN WAITING TO WRITE SOME OF THIS CONVERSATION I AM. SO EXCITED. I've already got ~2600 words written and we're not even halfway through the first third of the conversation HJKFHSJKS-

Guess what it's past 4 AM now. It took me an hour to respond. ~2500 words HAHA WORTH IT-

#Ask #Midnight Series #Hermitshipping #Mumscarian #Long post

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bibbykins · 2 years

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I hope yoora gets what she deserves FR!!! AND JIMIN, he’s acting a lil funky…like how does he know all of this. I have a feeling it’s not because of Yoora but idk. Also!!!! Hobi!!!!! Mans said he was crazy right in her face and I loved that she wasn’t weirded out by it!! Like yesss watch ur enemies burn omfg I love them. Did jk actually go to the prison to beat MCs stalker up? Sorry abt the random questions mixed in with my comments 😭

LMAO no pls it's totally okay i love random questions!!! To answer them:

-I cant go into specifics but we will see Yoora again, that's for sure!

-Also, i meaaan Jimin was her TA p consistently for a few diff classes (and in love with her for years) if you'll remember he didn't even rlly need directions to drop her off at home after the double date buuuut ill get more into that in a flashback i promiseee

-Also lmaooo Hoseok rlly said im insane and she was like "oh😳🥰"

-Also nope Jungkook beat Donghee up at the hospital and then sorta kinda maybe arranged what got his prison sentence extended... he's said before that he has a lot of people working for him so he's pretty connected 🤩

Thank you for the questions!!! I really love answering them!!💖💖

#ask #the household bts

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away-ward · 7 months

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Continuation to my prev rant about michaelrikakaibanks bonus scene:

Michael telling rika in corrupt "dont look to anyone to have this" or something like that, only for pd to turn him into a cuckold 😭 i kinda feel bad for him as a character now, because i feel like pd was the one writing him like shit, he just always gets sidelined, and maybe that plays even a little part as to why we hate him so much, just like how we dislike rika. Im pretty sure, at this point it's just pd's fault in writing. They just suck as hell.

It's the fact that michael's rika's partner in everything but he always had to eat her leftovers as if he was just a sidehoe to her. I hate it! What's the whole point of corrupt then? PD could just literally made MichaelRikaKai happen and end that story there like their original plan for a reverse harem to happen in Corrupt as a standalone. This brings me back to a conversation on your blog here about Damon/Will' possibilities of happening and the answer was a big NO because no one can replace Emmy, not even damon (i sleep good at night knowing emmyks always will's priority even above damon in will's life 😌), then leads us to KaiRika's dating possibilities, and I think what you and anon said then finally happens now. Not to spook yall or anything, but Yall kinda jinxed it!!

PD wrote "possessive" men only for them to end up sharing their lovers with everyone, and worse was there was no tags of the story being a poly story like many other romance authors did. Even if this story or dynamics are experimental, they should've been mentioned way before all these happening. PD pulled the riverdale poly ending for michaelrikakaibanks, and for what? No one writes their MMCSs and FMCs worse than PD so far. And all because they favour that terrorist rapist ass hoe damon? And that self-insert, dull as a block rika? 🙄

And i hate that kai would give into rika, but not alex. Alex wanted to fuck banks, but she can't because he doesnt share banks, but why can rika have her then? Literally, no other excuse than pd being obsessed with horny taboo ass fetishes and wanting to make sure the readers know that that if there's one woman in this world that kai will be with other than banks, it's definitely rika. I never saw it this way but i feel like Kai's one of those guys that will actually marry a second wife and not admit that he likes it 🙄 how surprising, because he's the last character with a personality written like that, should be acting like this. I hate it!!!

PD's new bonus made me lose all respect to them as a writer, made me pity michael (pitying michael!?), disliking rika even more, pitying the fuck out of banks she literally cant catch a damn break, and hating kai. Idk, this series really left a bad taste in my mouth. This bonus is like an extension of that rika fight in conclave, so fucking unnecessary, and as usual, PD's just so dissapointing. What was going on through their head honestly??? I feel so angry because this means only DamonWinter and WillEmmy's love for their partners are the only legit ones in the whole series, at least, monogamously. The series were already shit with the plot and characters, now it just got worse with the dynamics. All that michael's sweet talk in corrupt and conclave to rika, and kai's assurance for banks in hideaway were ruined because of this bonus scene.

Devils Night Series at this point, is just Fall Away + Credence 2.0 + p*rnhub

When i first read nightfall, i remember MOSTLY thinking that alex/emmy and will/damon scenes were mainly WLW and MLM fetishes. Other readers kept on telling me that that wasnt all there was to it to these relationships and those sex scrnes, and while i agree to a certain extend that maybe they're not just fetishes and they could mean something more for these characters, look at what happens now? Am i not right? And lets not forget the target audience for this series is for WOMEN, ADULTGROWN WOMEN, and NOT FOR QUEER PEOPLE. So It IS mainly a big perverted fetish by now, if it wasn't then. Because if this wasn't queer sex fetish for these horny women, then what it? Everytime dmaon/will or even alex/emmy or banks/rika hookup, there will always be the other opposite sex being entertained and sometimes even get off to them, be it that the one being entertained were either DN readers, or the characters in the DN universe. We queer people cant catch a fucking break. I fucking hate itttttttttt. PD's braindead fans cant defend them anymore, pd'll never get out of these siblings & queer sex fetish allegations i fear, not like they ever cared, they'll just write worse, because "no ONe TeLls mE WHAt to WriTE" 🙄

At this point, it's really better for me to just stay away from dark romances, especially PD, because these Dark romance writers are just NOT IT. They'll never fight their allegations out of their weird ass trenches i swear. From damon's romanticised and infantilised arc, to the plot, to the characterisation, to the assault and crimes and all the unnecessary incestous plotlines between banks damon rika, and then the out of touch with reality to the point of utmost stupidity of the whole revenge thing, then the misogyny from male and EVEN female characters here, then weak men abusing women and gaslighting them, and rebranding them as women empowerment, then this. This fucking binus and THIS FUCKING QUEER PEOPLE FETISH. fuck pd honestly. Idgaf anymore someone needs to knock some sense into them. Because aside from writing all of that, the biggest problem was that pd and their hardcore friends always seem to live in a weird bubble and rebranding their ahit to look nicer as if they dont stink? Ohmygod look, pd and pendragons literally sound like the horsemen! Shocking!

Maybe DN is my first darkrom so that's why i fell so strongly about it, but ohmygod, this series is just so exhausting, and whatnot with its cult followers, especially on twitter 😭 those booktwt devils night were part time bullies too. Thank god you've never been on DN side's of booktwt KO, they're all always so mean, always namecalling people out of nowhere just because they were against assault (against assaulters!!), being bullies and horny af 24/7 over disgusting things damon do, making jokes about it too as if rika still wasn't suffering from damon's actions in conclave. It's good that you're just here minding your own business because let me tell you, booktwt is not wort it. Booktok too, but booktok is only a tad better. The amount of cringe ass accounts on twitter i've seen acting like theyre the horsemen or cowgirls, or acting as if thunder bay is their home is something else!!! Not to mention the emory hate? Banks hate? And they also come Even from big booktwt DN accounts too! I feel like this series was worth my read, only so that i know now which authors, books and fandom to avoid in the future.

I've always been familiar with stan and fandom culture, and now i'm reminded why i can never last long in it because of things like these. Apart from my interest gradually decreasing, the fandom and author experience were just trash tbh. Ngl, i always pray that your blogs wont be found out by booktwt because the amount of hate theyre (big booktwt dn accounts) gonna give us just because we dont like their favs (FOR VALID CONCERNING REASON TOO, not even petty ones). As much as i love to see your fics been read by others, i hope they only stay with the sane ones 🤞 so far dn tumblr accounts have been nothing but reactions, fics, chill and memes, so i hope it'll stay that way always, like booktwters can take their shit ass opinions to booktwt, let me have book tumblr to myself god!!! 😭

Sorry, at this point it's just useless rants, so i'm ipending this here.

That was such a mess, wasn't it. Michael's always been soft when it comes to giving Rika what she wants, and I think that's probably what he meant. He'll be possessive in the idea that no one else can keep her, but if she wants to touch and be touched, he'll let that happen too. He's still the one making the call, which is why Banks asks him for permission.

But still. I hated it.

then leads us to KaiRika's dating possibilities, and I think what you and anon said then finally happens now. Not to spook yall or anything, but Yall kinda jinxed it!!

Haha, right. I did say it could only happen if both of their partners are dead, so even I couldn’t have predicted this would surface. But again, I’m not surprised by the situation itself. There was one line in Nightfall that told me all I needed to know about how these people were going to function going forward.

"Winter will consider it cheating if she's not here, too."

Based on that alone, I figured these people would continue hooking up with each other whenever they felt the desire to do so. They have their Partner, but as long as their Partner is there/okay with what’s happening, it’s all good. My surprise was that it took more than ten years for it to happened (I thought it was happening the entire time), and that PD hadn’t dropped the notion that the sun rises and sets with Rika Fane. Not only is it still being pushed, but now it’s being pushed through Banks. That was what I was frustrated about.

PD pulled the riverdale poly ending for michaelrikakaibanks, and for what? No one writes their MMCSs and FMCs worse than PD so far.

Funnily enough, I just watched Dylan is in Trouble’s reaction to Riverdale’s first and last episode, and when he got to that scene his reaction was basically the same as mine to the bonus scene. I thought it was the perfect coincidence.

And doesn’t hate that kai would give into rika, but not alex. Alex wanted to fuck banks, but she can’t because he doesn’t share banks, but why can rika have her then?

That’s a really good point! And it got me wondering about where the line was for them. Is it just the four main couples are involved in this “sharing” or do Alex and Aydin get an invite? I imagine the girls would want Alex to join, but if their Partner needs to be there/approve, then that would include Aydin and I can’t imagine any of the guys wanting to include him. We know canon that Kai and Michael have shared before Rika, so this break down is in line with that. And the same for Damon and Will. But I can’t imagine any scenario where Damon is willing to bring in Aydin, so that means any sharing that involves Alex can only be with Willemmy, but we’ve been there, done that.

But again. What do I know. Maybe Kai and Michael are a lot more open that I think they are.

make sure the readers know that that if there's one woman in this world that kai will be with other than banks, it's definitely rika.

Again, it’s this pushing that Rika too amazing to resist, and the only reason Damon didn’t get a go is because they discovered their related. It’s irritating because it really does circumvent the idea that their partner is the one for them. It gives the idea that their partner is the one for them because Rika isn’t available (Will’s excluded from this because I don’t recall a time when he’s ever shown actual interest in Rika that way. His heart has been Emory’s since he was 14 and nothing will change that.)

made me pity Michael (pitying Michael!?)

oh the horror. I can understand why this is disturbing.

When i first read nightfall, i remember MOSTLY thinking that alex/emmy and will/damon scenes were mainly WLW and MLM fetishes.

One, I don’t know enough to argue fetish vs kink, but I know PD is queer themselves, so to me it just seemed they wrote what they would be interested in reading. If you think it’s wrong that they are anyone else are interested in that content, it’s fine, but it’s the readers responsibility not to engage. Idk, I’ve never gotten mad at an author for writing something I don’t approve of, even morally. I just avoid consuming it for my own sanity. But I know you’re not alone in this sentiment for either DN or other works, so who am I to say.

At this point, it's really better for me to just stay away from dark romances, especially PD, because these Dark romance writers are just NOT IT.

From what you write after this, I would say, yeah you probably won’t have a good time with Dark Romance. I don’t think I’ve ever read a dark romance where the ML doesn’t to something irreprehensible and feels no need to apologize or redeem himself, or the narrative excuses it some way. Misogyny and abuse are prevalent throughout the genre, as well as sex and relationships that are outside the norm.

If DN is you’re first dark rom, then I definitely wouldn’t go deeper than this. As far as content goes, there’s so much darker stuff. But I will say for some, writing makes a big difference, so maybe you’ll find a writer you enjoy more. Again, though, if it’s the content that’s bothering you, I’d stay away.

For me personally, I don’t venture into dark roms too often. I tried a lot of the popular series when I had the KU trial, but not a lot drew me in. And I’ve already discussed what it was about DN that caught me, so I won’t go over it again. Just know it’s not for everyone and that’s fine. Find where you’re line is and stay on the side you enjoy so that you have a good time.

this series is just so exhausting, and whatnot with its cult followers, especially on twitter

DN is exhausting. From it’s plot to it’s characters, it’s not hard to understand what’s going on but trying to figure out the why takes so much effort sometimes, and it usually just goes back to “PD wanted the vibes, that’s all.” Which, okay fine, but I’m struggling to fine a reason within the context of the story and that’s where I’m getting frustrated.

I need context and good characterization. And I’m super easy to please. The characters can do just about anything, if it makes sense, and I’ll be fine.

Fortunately for me, this has been my only interaction with other fans, so it's been pretty good so far.

those booktwt devils night were part time bullies too. Thank god you've never been on DN side's of booktwt KO

Oh, I’m not worried about them. I think they’ll probably stick to their preferred socials. I used to worry that PD would find my blog, but I have no indication they’ve traveled this far away from FB, Twt, Insta, and Tiktok. Which is funny, because tumblr used to be the fandom site. It makes sense that they think Banks is the most hated in that case.

In my personal experience, it’s a lot easier to remain excited about a series if you can find people to talk to about it who are likeminded. Even if it’s a small group, it’s usually enough. I do wish more people created content for the series to share and gush over, even if it’s not what I personally want. I can also understand people who close the last page and never want to think about it again. Sometimes I feel the same way about DN.

Tumblr is a pretty chill place most of the time because you can just block people, even anons. It’s can be easy to ignore hate or avoid interacting with different sides of a fandom. I’ve never been on anything other than Insta and at this point it’s been a long time since then, so I don’t know how easy it is to cultivate your experience over there, but it’s probably why I prefer tumblr so much and never felt the need to leave or try a different site.

Anyway, you’re free to rant. I totally hear you and get where you’re coming from.

Take care, KO

#asked and answered #devil's night series stuff #fandom discussion #series rant #asked and answered 110

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forestryfae · 9 months

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and he fucking brings up grandma and telling me i should call her and like. yeah okay i know her health is bad but like what the fuck am i supposed to do about that. i cant talk to mom, shes fucking cruel and heartless and i cant fucking talk to her about anything, the way she talks about the whole thing is just fucking ruthlessly shitty and its like its designed to hurt. i cant talk to dad either cus he just doesnt care. he doesnt wanna fucking talk about it, hell just dump it all on someone else like he did when i was getting bullied in highschool and he got a friend of his to talk to me instead of like. talking to me himself or fucking fixing shit istead of pushing that responsibility on everyone around him so he doesnt have to deal with it. anything to avoid having to be a parent or having to talk about stuff. and my stepmom is almost a bad as my mom ngl she fucking makes theories about whats wrong with grandma and talks about it like its gossip or some shit, will not shut the fuck up and rags it on longer than it needs to be, and its so fucking infuriating.

like. its not like anyones asked me how im doing about the whole situation or asks me how im feeling. no fucking "are you okay" or "what are you thinking" or "how does it make you feel" in any genuine actually worthwhile way or any questions about how it might make me feel to talk about it or anything. no matter what i say theyll just try to brush it off or act like i have nothing to worry about or some shit etherway cus im not allowed to be upset or have emotions afterall, and the world doesnt revolve around me, it revolves around them and im selfish for not managing or caring about their feelings when its THEIR FUCKING JOB TO CARE ABOUT MINE. THEYRE PARENTS. THEYRE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT ME, I SHOULDNT BE MANAGING THEIR EMOTIONS BY SHUTTING TEH FUCK UP ALL THE TIME AND DEALING WITH THEIR EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS AND SHIT.

as if it wasnt fucking bad enough that i was taught any emotions that dont align with what they want me to feel or that dont validate them arent allowed, im supposed to do exactly as they want and no other option is allowed. cus then im an asshole and im selfish, self centered, egoistic, spoiled, brat, "angry" "all the time", and in general "nobody cares" and "nobody feels fucking sorry for you" and thats just what im supposed to deal with all the time? i cant have emotions or be upset so i become a fucking doormat to please evryone but if i dont stand up for myself its my own fault im unhappy, but when i do stand up for myself im completely ignored and i get run over and i cant have everything exactly as i want it all the time cus the people around me have their own lives, but when i suddenly dont want visitors or i dont answer peoples calls or i dont engage or i dont visit its all "you can just call us or visit us". why the fuck would i want to spend time with a bunch of overgrown toddlers who dont want whats best for me and who actively shut me down any time i try to exist like a normal person. they literally treat me like a fucking dog. like weve HAD a dog and they just fed it and put it on a leash in the garden and that was p much it. dad actually didnt even feed it after the divorce i think? im pretty sure he forgot cus he expected US to do it? I WAS FUCKING EIGHT OR SOME SHIT. why would an eight year old with neglectful shitty parents know that theyre supposed to feed the dog. id get yelled at for literally anything i did if my mom or dad didnt like it to the point where i dont even know as an adult whether im allowed or not allowed to do things specifically because What If Someone Gets Mad At Me For Doing This Even Though They Shouldn't Get Mad For This But What If.

like even at inpatient, theres food in the kitchen. theres food and theres bread and sandwich stuff and theres even leftovers in the other fridge sometimes and if the kitchen isnt gonna be used anytime soon i can even cook myself something, like if i buy a pizza or i have a bag of macaroni. ive even been offered the option to make salads for lunch and i feel like THE MOST selfish bitch for having the audacity to need food or have certain issues with food that make me need to eat differently than most other people. i feel fucking bad just for asking for bread i can eat without gagging. i feel like im being judged HARSHLY when i eat fucking nutella. i almost have to hide candy or anything sweet like chocolate cus im afraid ill have to have the "you eat too much sugar" talk again as if its THAT easy just walking into the kitchen and eating.

so yeah anyways, my parens fucking suck and i want to yell at them every time i talk to them but i have the patience of a fucking saint cus thats the nly thing im allowed to have without any repercussions so i just have to shut up and wait to get home so i can finally go back to being a semi-normal person.

#vent about the family again cus theyre bitches and they suck

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xxatinyminionxx · 2 years

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Minion's Followers Survey (NSFW) #3 Results!!!

I got a total of 115 responses this time.

As always, cut-off responses are below!

Q: Alright lets get this out of the way. What do you consider yourself?

- Hard dom but i have my rlly subby moments

Q: Your TXT/legal Enhypen bias wants you to suck his dick during a solo vlive. Would you do it?

- How can i say “HELL FUCKING YES FUCK ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW” without coming off too strong?

- Depends on how horny I am but ya know...need to please him…

- perhaps, but more likely not,shit to risky lol

- HOLY FATHER HOLY FUCKING GOD OF TOES I’D DO ANYTHINGTO SUCK JAKE OR YEONJUN’S DICK I’D FUCKING CRY AHJSFEGRDIJZFIGJWIAEOJWVDSIOBJHIOWGIVSOD

Q: A legal Enhypen member thinks it would be funny if you two fucked to "Hey Tayo". What is your reaction?

- Depends on if i’m in a chaotic mood or not lmao

- Would die out of laughter but hell yeah i’m 100% in

- I’m down but laughing too hard to actually do it

Q: Are you a supporter of the hard dom!taehyun agenda?

- Yes but if he has feelings involved, he'll want to be hella soft and like make love with you from time to time... Especially if he's just stressed and thankful to have you there. It'll be soft sex for sure

Q: Which TXT member would you peg?

- not into pegging but if they really wanted me to then soobin.

- is "all of them" an option because i will go full writer mode on this little survey thingy and discuss in detail me pegging all of them — pengu

- Not into pegging. No butt stuff for either of us.

- None...I'm not confident enough to take the leads :')

Q: Which legal Enhypen member would you peg?

- AGAIN ALL OF THEM AND I CAN AND WILL WRITE FANFIC IN YOUR SURVEY ANSWERS — PENGU, VERY H WORD

Q: Thoughts on threesomes?

- If the attention is well distributed I think yes, but if not I'm pretty sure I'd end up crying. ALSO I would love to be one of the people "in charge"? Just to make sure I don't cry at the end lmao (but imagine they finding out about this fear and trying to make you feel alright "subbing" during the threesome 🥺... to clarify, they'd be doms/switchs and you'd be a sub for the first time in a 3some))

- IVE DONE IT, IT'S TOXIC, IT'S NOT NICE JUST A LITTLE PSA, THREESOMES ARE NOT A FANFIC-REALITY THAT YOU THINK YOU CAN LIVE AND ENJOY NO THEY'RE BAD THEY'RE BETRAYAL-PRONE AND WILL 98 PERCENT HURT YOU MOST OF THE TIME PLS DONT DO THREESOMES

Q: What if I was in that threesome?

- If there's chemistry, for sure! Although I'd be mindful that I'd need to look out for two young'uns rather than one

- I’m really only into mmf 3somes, but I’m down for fff

- ... EUNHA I'M GONNA START BARKING

- I dunno 😂 i dont know you personally, a solid maybe 👍

Q: So how is No Nut November going?

- Definitely not doing this one lol, i cant deprive myself like that

- i never participate in first place cause ✨hormones✨

- Initially i decided that i was only avoiding reading smut so porn didn't count but um either way i failed

- i have been too sad to fail but i think that's gonna change 🥴

- No, I'm trying to have that as part of my self care ☺ fun fact: i didnt have my first proper O until i was 21 because I was disgusted by my own sexuality, feeling pressured to think about p*nis pretty much lmao. Im gonna turn 22 this month 😵 Ive missed out on so much omg. Im so glad I worked through the pressure of being straight

- Not participating because I get gassy and fart-play is reserved for my Beomgyu

#minion followers survey 3 #minion hard hours #enhypen smut #txt smut

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makiema · 3 years

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absolutely love it when people are like I dont think anyone understands the ending and thats why they are hating it yes sure sis i absolutely do not understand

why armin would condone Eren genociding 80% of the world

why eren’s answer to everything is i wanted to see a blank canvas, my thoughts are messy bc time is non linear in my mind, idk man it had to happen anyways i love mikasa, and ymir chose mikasa but why? that is between god and isayama.

i also absolutely do not understand why historia is suddenly an ethnonationalist accepting whatever eren did + leading Paradis as a fascist leader

i absolutely do not understand how in gods name a character who has always looked beyond, sought freedom and justice and explicitly stated that the ones inside the walls and the ones outside are the same would not fight against his visions and would stomp on 80% of humanity bc “i wanted to see a blank canvas” and i absolutely do not understand the point of introducing the “everyone is born special” theme in the story if 80% of the everyone in question is gonna get rumbled.

i also do not understand the absolute madagascar-esque idea of making someone reiterate the necessity to fight, move forward, live freely, live with dignity, and most importantly, the right to exist and belong in this world irrespective of being special/not to not only turn out to be anti thesis of said qualities but to actually revoke 80% of the population’s right to exist for NO GOOD REASON bc guess what war is inevitable and “we may have to wipe each other out after all” like we didnt know already that meaningless genocide doesnt solve anything? i dont think anybody actually thought that was the answer to anything but then why do it in the first place? the fact that isym makes eren dodge everyone one of armin’s “but why?” question including the point of such unnecessary horrror w some boring shit abt forest, river and a blank canvas explains p well that there was no point. it really is isayama admitting he bit off more than he can chew.

you can say that him resolving the two other plot points— beauty/cruelty theme and the titan question is good writing and the other characters moving on and trying to achieve peace leaves a good taste in the mouth and yes i agree w it but you cant just say—

assassinating a character by deliberately writing him along the lines of a character who you know was poorly handled (yes im talking about Daenerys)

leaving so many unresolved themes (freedom from the threat of extermination? not found. relief from a caged existence? not found. possibility of co-existence? just hinted at) unexplained elements + plotholes (source of all life? poof ymir fritz? poof historia’s pov? poof)

making a mess of your narrative (make people feel for eren and share in his cause only for him to do a 180 degree of everything he stood for and if this is not enough “irony” then heres the icing on the cake: the first ever tragedy that befell the tragic hero was a result of his own doing. so yeah its all just a big joke)

let alone that absolute bullcrap excuse of “pain of love” (toxic misogynist het bs in fucking 2021? i think NO altho hardly shocking considering the protag’s bestie thanks him for genociding) are things that every reader has the right to resent and refute.

#snk #snk spoilers #shingeki no kyojin #fandom salt

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k0kichiimagines · 3 years

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saeyoung !! happy birthday!! my love as well!! alsomykin!! sorry this is late (its past midnight here)

- mod kokichi

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

your humour, your bravery! physically - your eyes and cheeks

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

he does! he has a call where he wonders if he can actually have his dream of a family :) equally he's more then happy with just you, saeran and vanderwood. he would want time to strengthen his relationship with saeran especially, but after a few years...if you want. i feel like he also would only want a few, and a few years apart. he would want to give them his attention fully,, equally if you have twins he'd be overjoyed too.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

clings to you! he likes any position (aha), but expect a lot of protective ones, especially while he's in / just left the agency

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

eventful LMAO

honestly, it depends, he'll take you star gazing and to the movies, and theme parks

but also driving at 2am, and making robots, the list is endless and half the time spontaneous

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

"you are my world, my dreams, my future"

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

over the chatroom, and he felt awful and selfish, he led you one despite feeling like he could never actually date you

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

very gentle!! he'd feel awful if he ever hurt you,, the whole 'im dangerous' would come back

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

he likes to have your hands near each other, little fingers linked, or fully hand holding, he'll do the 'bring hand to lips to kiss' thing a lot

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

someone cute and who clicked instantly with him!

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

yes.

he'll hug you from behind in front of them he has no shame, resting his head on your shoulder / head and glare at them

might even try kiss your neck too

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

i think the first kiss was more a 'both sides drawing in',, his kisses are unpredictable, sometimes soft, sometimes teasing, sometimes 'misses' just next to your lips,, but always gentle

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

you kinda say it when saeran grabs you, but in terms of sitting down and etc its him ,, and it feels like a weight of his chest, pure euphoria filling him when you say it back

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

any moments where he felt pure joy,, which happens a lot round you, wether its falling asleep or chasing each other, or running from either of the other two roommates, you're his joy

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

not buying so much, but he makes you a lot of stuff :) some of it is jokes, some of it actually really useful

he does buy you some stuff though !

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

blues! your favourite colours!

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

"606, my love, my baby, my star," a lot of overdone cheesy joke ones

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

probably old technology, stars,

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

complains, sulks, pouts, he likes going out once he's free but he doesn't actually hate the rain that much. he'll try cooking, and you'll need to help or the kitchen will be a mess of flames (he is a good cook, he just 'experiments' a lot)

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

bottles everything up, admits he's kinda sad in jokes, you'll need to confront him and be insistent to get anything out of him

he'll drop his jokes when you're upset, trying his best to be a shoulder to lean on and support for you.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

look hes a nerd (lovingly) he'll talk about maths, robots, hacking and cars, but equally games and shows and whatever you're into!

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

he likes making things !! if you read to him, or just talked about something he'd like that - might even fall asleep! not because hes bored, he just finds your voice soothing

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

his babes (the cars. and you/lh) but honestly all his gloating is jokes, he's pretty insecure

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

like saeran, he wants to make sure you want to as well! he'd do it under the stars, with a camera somewhere recording, music playing

he's a romantic at heart

X = Xylophone (What’s their song?)

,,,,Line Without A Hook- sorry its for everyone i know

i cant think of any love songs :(

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

you guys had matching rings and bracelets which im still sobbing over,, plus the normal ending,, and the the fact saeyoung is catholic i feel like the answer is yes.

plus...marriage at the space station :)

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

cats!! we all know the man loves them to death

#saeyoung x reader #707 x reader #luciel x reader #mystic messenger x reader #saeyoung choi x reader #707 #Mystic messenger #mystic messenger imagines #fluff

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eitelle · 3 years

Note

if youre still looking for requests you could do a movie night with kenma thing 😩

HI I LOVE UOU SM OK OK OKD DHHDHFFHDH I JUST SCREECHEDKDRHHEHFHFBDJFHDDJ PLS HELOSVEHDGFJDHDEHDH GODHEVEGDHDHD YES 🛐🛐🛐

UHM OK ANYWAYS PAIRING: kenma kozume x gn!reader

warnings: none but there r slight major possibly incorrect spoilwers for ready player 1?

a/n: this has been rotting in my drafts for MONTHS. im literally so sorry ok anyways here we go:

ok so first of all hes picking the movie. i dont make the rules

hes very “im good w anything idk what i wanna watch” n then u say like jurassic park or sum shit and hes like “no.” LIKE BOY WDYM NO.

anyways he ends up choosing ready player one 😐🧍🏻‍♀️

im- ok get it mr. cliche 😍‼️

hes the type of person who cannot get comfortable no matter what so hes just struggling to find a good position for mf half of the movie istg

so bravo bravo he finally finds a good one then this bitch has the AUDACITY to sit up get food n then he struggles again.

at this point u just ignore him (i feel bad for him i feel the pain tbh)

he also has like just the two of us the song playing in the background just bc hes very like always needing a lot of everything tbh

so yall r watching that and one might think he is very stoic doesnt like movies n shit but theres two ways this can go:

hes either sleeping or hes hyperactively paying attention

for this movie in particular he becomes overly attached n when the like house complex comes crashing down n im p sure there is like a scene where shes getting tortured? idk i havent watched the movie in forever

ok anyways he literally gasps, kinda jumps, n he cries a lot.

hes a v pretty crier tho 😖🥰

he kinda just has like tears streaming down his face n then like his head is in ur lap and ur stroking his hair and its honestly rly funny 😭😭

n then theres the scene where its the meetup face reveal irl and oh boy does kenma cry at that (you do too tbh)

ok so after that hes prob either heartbroken or out cold. if hes out cold, baby im sorry but ur not going anywhere

when he sleeps he doesnt wake up until its like 3 pm istg-

ugh but he also loves building shit

like constructing chairs n desks n he just lowk loves engineering its just not a big thing more like a side hobby bc he doesnt have the energy for doing that shit all the time

omg dad!kenma 😖🥺 elle stfu he cant be the father of ur children, HES NOT REAL. actually idc

anyways

so naturally for a movie night hes gonna go all out

im talking projector, pillow fort, blanket fort, fairy lights, maybe even a galaxy projector idk

he def built a whole ass fort for yall BUT thats why movie nights r so rare

so that night he stays awake duh but now its ur turn to choose

n so being the icon u are, u choose a barbie movie 😎💪

n hes like “again???” but he knows its ur turn so hes like “k fine ig.”

so u guys choose the mermaid one like the lost princess of a mermaid kingdom, that one

do yall know what im talking ab? idk google it ig but like where was ur childhood smh

ok anyways back to the topic at hand

kenma has watched all the barbie movies. its canon, furudate told me himself

he went up to me one day knocked on my garage n went “hey elle i heard u love kenma kozume, well im hear to tell u that hes watched all the barbie movies” n then he disappeared <33

ok but fr thats just a hc of mine anyways so yall be watchibg it

and hes obvi very sucked in

and then theres like the betrayal scene

n he gasps so loud his popcorn w extra butter n light seasalt n extra cheese w a side of HI-C fruit punch almost spills

that order is also canon.

and ur like “kenma baby r u ok?” while laughing ur ass off lowk

n hes like “yeah yeah im fine stfu now pls”

like just bc u said pls doesnt make it better but i see u, choosing barbie over us 🤨🙄 can relate tho

finally the movie ended n now yall both feel very empty. so what do yall do? by this point its like 4 in the morning

so the only logical answer is to play otome games, episode, animal jam, n the winx fairy rp game thing

^^^ thats what yall look like btw

SHDGDJDHD YEAH

n thats it i hope u enjoyed n im so sorry for how late i am BYEE

haikyuu general taglist: @babyshoyo (sorry it was like 2 am when i posted this i forgot 😭😭)

#haikyuu!!#haikyu oneshots #haikyu x reader #haikyu fanfiction #haikyu headcanons #kenmasimpnation #kenma hcs #kenma fanfic #kenma x reader #kenma fluff #kenma headcanons #kenma kozume #kozuelle #kozume kenma #haikyuu kenma #eitelle writes

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wonderlustlucas · 4 years

Text

jack pot ; part 3 - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt You know it’s bad when you’re high as a kite and he’s still on your mind. ⇢ pairing hwang hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 6.4k ⇢ genre fluff & angst (not heavy, just in a slow burn kind of way) ⇢ warnings (18+) drug use, a suggestive make out & the mention of a boner twice maybe ⇢ summary College is a matter of working hard and playing hard. It’s an opportunity to start fresh, to grow as an individual and to blossom with those you befriend. People come and people go, leaving their mark on your life and showing you all the parts of becoming an adult. Some, however, do more than leave their mark. Some take just as much as they give. Things become complicated once they take the entirety of your love because you outright offered it to them.—college!au ; stoner!au ; friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n AAAAAAAA omg im so excited to post this, this by far is my fav part of jack pot & i cant wait to hear what u all think!!! sorry its a bit shorter than the other parts, & technically this is the *last* part, but there will be an epilogue where you will see how everything comes to be!!!! have fun reading!!! <3

⇠ part 2

five.

“Oh, fuck, he’s good,” Yeji gasps, shoving her phone into Maddie’s hands before faceplanting into the table.

“Are you H-T-T-P because I’m colon-slash-slash without you,” Maddie reads with a chuckle, thumbs hesitating over the keyboard. “Quick, YN, look up some pick-up lines.”

Closing the tab on the article you should be reading but has been long forgotten, you promptly do as you are told and open the first link from your search, Minho and Jisung leaning in to help. “There,” Jisung stops you, pointing to one, “’Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.’”

The table can’t help but burst into laughter at such a sentence. It’s stupid, but ever since Yeji and Kim Sunwoo began texting, their conversations have been full of tacky puns and emoji-filled compliments.

“Damn,” Maddie whistles, setting the phone back into Yeji’s limp hand, “he’s already typing back.”

“Gross,” Ryujin teases, busy typing away on her laptop. How she manages to multitask so well is a skill you certainly lack. “Why don’t you just like, I don’t know, ask him out?” Jisung asks and when you glance up, he’s looking at you. “Because that’s the guy’s job,” Maddie quickly saves the day, winking to you when you send her a grateful smile.

“Bullshit,” Jeongin scoffs. Everyone, even Ryujin, stops to look at him.

Did he just curse?

“I mean, like,” he stammers, cheeks turning rosy at all the attention, “it’s 2020. Guys have insecurities, too.”

“I agree,” Minho hums, looking to Maddie with hearts in his eyes, “that kind of confidence is enough to make any boy fall in love.”

“Yeah, but—”

Lia rebuts, but your attention quickly falls elsewhere when a text message first appears on your laptop, then your phone.

hwang hyunjin🦔🕺🏻💞🧻 [now] Where r u rn?

Unable to fight your smile, you quickly type back.

[3:39 PM] YN: outside hollin st café [3:39 PM] YN: why? :)

“Have you seen their new house, YN?” Minho asks, prompting you to click your phone off and set it back on the table. “Whose house?”

“Changbin’s parents.”

“Oh,” shaking your head, you distantly curse Chan for keeping your friend busy today. Unlike Jisung, Changbin likes to write lyrics and do whatever other music stuff during the day at a normal time instead of the middle of the fucking night while stoned and trying to finish his computer science assignments at the same time. “No, he forgot to send me pictures.”

“Dude,” Jisung sighs dreamily, “it’s huge. So nice. I think the front door alone could cover tuition.”

“Is it really that nice?” Maddie asks in awe.

“He started to show me pics the other day but couldn’t finish but the kitchen… unnecessary,” Ryujin quips, pausing her work to check her phone. “Yeah, it’s insane. The whole place is unnecessary but the kitchen is like, a house in itself,” Jeongin hums, head shaking in disbelief.

“Damn, now I really want to see it,” you sigh, making a mental note to hunt Changbin down so he can show you. “It’s like Hyunjin and his rings,” Minho snickers, “he has so many. Whenever we’re out, if he sees a ring, boom. It’s his.”

Well, he’s not wrong but… You bite your tongue no matter how badly you wish to defend Hyunjin and his affinity for rings and jewelry in general. The boy has taste, what can you say? You certainly are not complaining about Hyunjin’s long fingers and the way he chooses to decorate them.

“I never thought I’d hear Changbin’s parent’s kitchen be analogous to Hyunjin’s jewelry collection, yet here we are,” Maddie chuckles, leaning over Yeji to peek at her conversation with Sunwoo.

“Wow, speak of the devil,” Jisung pipes up of course as soon as you have reopened the tab to your assignment. Changbin or Hyunjin, you don’t know, head whipping up to find out and a peculiar mix of relief and panic settling over you once you spot the latter. “Uh oh, YN’s gonna go into cardiac arrest.”

As subtly as you can, you elbow Jisung in the stomach and smile at Hyunjin as he nears. “Hey,” keeping his eyes on you, Hyunjin approaches your table and stops behind Maddie opposite from you, “I’m sorry, I should have asked if you were busy.” His cheeks, already flushed, burn pinker once he looks away to smile weakly at everyone else.

“I’m not busy!” You squeak, scrambling to close your laptop and shove it in your bag. “Are you sure? I can come back later?” He offers, tilting his head and this is when you realize he is holding a bubble tea in each hand. And from the looks of it, one seems to be your usual order. “No, she’s not,” Jeongin answers for you, recognizing your stupefied expression.

“I was just – yeah. No,” rushing to stand and swing your legs out around the bench, you nearly fall flat on your face, “I wasn’t doing anything, actually.” Steadying yourself with a hand on Minho’s shoulder, you heave a labored breath before carefully walking to meet Hyunjin.

“Okay,” he beams, either oblivious to how flustered you are or simply choosing to ignore it. Turning to wave to your friends, he hands you one of the cups and you realize it is, in fact, your favorite boba. Oh boy. “See ya later,” you wave to them as well, nose wrinkling when both Jisung and Maddie wink in return.

Following after Hyunjin, you finally allow yourself to take notice of his attire and can’t help but feel confused. He looks good. And not in the good attractive way—he always looks good. But good as in formal. It’s four o’clock on a Tuesday in October and he’s out here looking as if he just got out of a business meeting. White button-down tucked into fitted black slacks, dress shoes, black tie, and he even has a black suit jacket draped over his arm. His hair is styled, too; ever since he dyed it back to black, he’s been growing it out long enough for his bangs to cover his eyes. Now, however, it’s parted down the middle and seems as if he’s ever so slightly curled it away from his face.

Suddenly, you feel ridiculous walking beside him in mom jeans and a baggy sweatshirt from high school.

“Thanks for the boba,” you mumble around your straw, brain still preoccupied trying to get over how utterly handsome he is. “Why do you look so fancy?”

The side of his mouth twitches up at your words, but his eyes stay glued to the sidewalk as you continue to your unknown destination. “I had an audition,” Hyunjin admits, voice devoid of emotion as if it’s not important at all. “An audition?” You echo. “Why do you sound so not super mega excited? How did it go? What was it for?”

“Well—”

“Wait!” You interrupt, stopping your walk once you realize he had an audition and you didn’t know. “You had an audition? What – why didn’t you tell me?”

Hyunjin frowns, avoiding your gaze and dragging his bottom teeth over his top lip. “I didn’t tell anyone,” he finally says before reaching for your hand and tugging you away from the walkway and into your campus’ main courtyard. “Why? Is it some sort of secret or something, Hyunjin?” You scoff, sounding way more annoyed than you intended. But you are annoyed; why didn’t he want to tell anyone?

“No,” he sighs, finding an empty area in the grass and lowering himself to sit, “I just… didn’t want anyone to know. Didn’t want to make it a big deal.”

“Hyunjin,” you sigh, visibly softening for him and settling down next to him, crisscrossing your legs, “it is a big deal. I don’t know what it’s for, but if it’s important enough for you to audition, then it’s important to us, too. You don’t need to be humble twenty-four-seven, you know. I’m sure you could have used our support.”

“I didn’t get it, though,” Hyunjin whispers, “they just – I didn’t get in. I wasn’t good enough.” Sensing the sadness in his voice, you find a lump forming in your throat when you notice the way his bottom lip trembles. “Hey,” panicking, you set your boba down and sit up on your knees to wrap your arms around him, cradling his head into your chest once tears start falling, “no. Don’t ever say you’re not good enough, Hyunjin.”

“But if I did better, practiced more, than I would—"

“Stop,” you hush, combing your fingers through his hair and brushing strands away from his eyes, “I’ve never met someone who works as hard as you do. You can’t beat yourself up over this. Everything happens for a reason. You don’t know what could have happened if you got in. You could have hurt yourself eventually, or maybe met someone who’s a real asshole.”

“Yeah,” is all he says, quiet and muffled when he turns to press his forehead into your sternum, body still trembling as he lets out all his tears. You stay like that for a while, holding him against you and soothing a hand up and down his back until his sniffling falls quiet. “Listen,” you finally sigh, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him back. Your heart sinks once you take in the wet trails down his cheeks and the puffiness of his eyes. “Forget about it. Was it something for dance?”

When he nods subtly, you cup his face in your hands and swipe his cheeks with your thumbs. “You are an amazing dancer, Hyunjin. You can’t let this get to your head. And I don’t want you working your ass off more than you do already. Practice makes perfect, sure, but you need to rest. What about the idea Changbin came up with?”

“The YouTube thing?”

“Yes! Filming dance tutorials or just posting your routines is a really good idea,” you remind him, wiping your hands on your jeans once he falls back onto the grass with a gentle thud, hair flaying around him like a halo. Your limbs twitch with the urge to lie beside him, maybe throw an arm around him and rest your cheek on his chest, fingers tracing the soft features of his face, stroking through his hair and reminding him just how innately perfect he is, inside and out. You, of course, resist such a temptation, flopping down beside him and staring up at the clouds with a heavy heart.

“I could do that. Maybe,” Hyunjin huffs. Tilting your head to look at him, you find yourself knee-deep in that familiar longing feeling, pausing simply to appreciate how pretty he is in the evening sun, cheeks rosy from crying and hair begging to be touched. Shaking your head to rid such daydreams, you remind yourself how fragile his emotions are right now. Now is no time to get caught up on a fantasy. Reaching for your tea, you lean up on an elbow and redirect your gaze to the trees, the promise of winter having turned what was green burnt sienna and butterscotch, leaving trees barren and branches swaying gently in the crisp breeze that leaves you curling into yourself. “You should,” you hum, distant, mind clawing to come up with the words you want to say.

“Come here,” Hyunjin says now, voice stronger than before and when his hand wraps gently around your wrist, you can’t find it in yourself to resist. Allowing him to pull you back down beside him, you curl into his side, resting your head a safe distance away from his own and onto the curve of his arm. “Thank you for being so good to me,” he expresses. You squeeze your eyes shut when the arm you lie on wraps around your shoulders and pulls you substantially closer. “I need to tell you something.”

A long stretch of silence falls upon you and for a moment, you are unsure the words even left your mouth. What are you thinking?

“Wait! I have something first,” Hyunjin sighs, missing the way your breath hitches. “Okay,” you whisper, fiddling with one of the buttons on his shirt and focusing all your attention there.

“I just – I think… I owe you an apology,” he finally says, “I need to apologize for something that I did a while ago that I know probably hurt.” Your chest tightens. There’s a lot that has hurt you when it comes to Hyunjin, but none that he’s done purposely. None that are his fault. None that he should be apologizing for.

“I feel like we came to some mutual understanding to not mention what happened when we were freshmen, but it kills me to know that – that something happened, and we never talked about it,” Hyunjin starts, grip tightening on your shoulder and suddenly, you think you are dreaming. This cannot possibly be real. “I know it was awkward but, I also know me and Yiren dating was… ah. I don’t know.”

When he falls silent, you are unsure of what to say or do. You have no idea what the end goal of this conversation is. Hardly a minute ago, your heart and your brain decided it was time to tell him. Now, you’re not so sure you can do that until he finishes, and you are not about to give him your two cents if his reasoning for bringing it up is not the same as yours.

“I just want to apologize for not being brave enough to talk to you about it. I know I was confused, but I’m sure it was worse for you when they told you about her,” Hyunjin continues, sensing your rendered silence, “and it’s been so long since that happened, and now, you’re one of my closest friends.” Ouch.

“But I’ve been thinking,” when he picks up again, your eyes fly open in a panic. He’s been thinking. Hyunjinhas been thinking. You think you are going to pass out. “And I just feel like we… me and you, I mean—"

The standard iPhone alarm blares from beside you, promptly cutting him off and you think it is the biggest cockblock known to man. “Shit,” he hisses, leaning up to tug his phone from his pocket and in the process nudging you from your comfortable position. Sitting back up, nerves aflame and heart racing, your brows shoot up in confusion when all he does is stare at the number calling him. “What are you doing?”

“It’s the studio I was just at,” he scoffs in disbelief, barely glancing at you before looking back to his phone. You have never wanted to shrivel up and die as much as you want to right now. “Well? Aren’t you going to answer?”

Hyunjin makes a noise of acknowledgement before tapping the green icon and bringing the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

Sitting quietly beside him, you watch with a forced smile as his hummed responses and subtle nods morph into enthusiastic laughs and wide, beaming smiles. Hyunjin notices your confusion when you tilt your head, mouthing a ‘What?’ to him.

“They made a mistake,” he whispers, covering the speaker of his phone, “read off the wrong Hwang. I’m in.” When he grins excitedly at you, your response isn’t as cheerful as it could be. As it should be. “Yay!” You whisper, clapping gently but quickly turning to your boba when the other line begins speaking again. Looking away, you take a hefty sip, nearly choke on a tapioca ball, and build the walls around your heart up all over again in a matter of seconds.

“I’ve gotta go,” whispering, you manage one more pained smile before getting to your feet and wiping your butt of any possible grass stains, “good luck!” When he shines you one more breathtaking smile and waves excitedly, you hastily head in the other direction, wrapping your arms around yourself and swallowing past the lump that threatens to form the farther you walk.

It must be nice, you think, frantically wiping at your waterline. Must be nice to put yourself out there and have things work out the way you want them to. Must be nice being told you’re ‘in,’ you’re wanted, you’re desired.

It must be nice.

six.

Pick up food, you said. Ask Jisung, you said.

Your conscience is a big fat oompa loompa ass bitch. You would have never called Jisung to ask him if he wanted anything from Taco Bell if you knew he was with Changbin. And not just Changbin, you realized four minutes into your call; Seungmin and Hyunjin, too. Apparently he went over their place to record, or something, and didn’t care to let you know. Not that you’re his mom and he has too—but it would have been nice, and would have saved you from spending almost fifty dollars at Taco Bell.

“I tried calling Jisung but he didn’t answer,” you snap once Seungmin answers your call with a muffled hello. “Can one of you please come out and help me carry this in?” You glance at the five large sodas and two bags full of food in your passenger seat with a grimace. “Sure,” he agrees and you make a mental note for the umpteenth time just how much you love Seungmin, “I’ll be out in a sec.”

True to his word, you spot him making his way out of their apartment and across the small courtyard to meet you by your car not even a minute later, hauling each bag under his arms. “Thank you,” left only with the cupholder, you hurriedly lock your car and follow after him. “No problem. Thanks for being our Uber Eats,” then, pursing his lips, “how much was this?”

“Forty-seven something,” you grumble unhappily, knowing this was a big hit to your debit. “We’ll pay you back, don’t worry,” Seungmin smiles, leading you up the final flight of stairs and kicking open the ajar door.

Immediately, you’re hit with the smell.

“Dear, fucking hell,” making a face, you rub your nose to keep from sneezing, “it reeks in here. How have you guys not been kicked out yet?”

The stench of weed generally does not bother you anymore, but still—they could light a candle, or something. Seungmin shrugs, setting the bags down on the kitchen counter. “Luck, I guess.”

“IS THAT YN?” From another room, you hear Changbin shout, followed by an excited shriek from Jisung. “They’re high. Very high. You’ve been warned,” Seungmin whispers just as tweedle dee and tweedle dum themselves come flying around the corner. “YN!” Jisung grins, engulfing you in a dramatic hug. “Watch,” you hiss, regarding the blunt held between his fingers that comes dangerously close to your hair.

“Sorry,” he smiles, then, without warning, sticks the thing right between your lips. “I didn’t even offer.” Well, when life gives you lemons…

You hesitantly take the hit and blow the smoke away from him. You weren’t planning on getting high today, but here you are. “Thanks,” shaking your head as if that will clear it, you turn to Changbin and snugly wrap your arms around him. Every day you thank the heavens that he is a chill, calm high, unlike your maniac of a roommate.

“Thanks for the food,” fishing into his pockets and pulling out a crumpled ten-dollar bill, he slaps it into your palm. You only hum in reply, shoving it into your own pocket and praying you don’t lose it before you remember to put it in your wallet. “Where’s Hyunjin?” You ask, no longer caring about being slick.

“In his room,” Seungmin answers, rummaging through the bags to find what he ordered. Then, “HYUNJIN!” You jump, reaching for your soda and standing away from the other three until they have claimed whatever belongs to them. No sooner than Seungmin calls for him, you hear a door being cracked open and out comes Hyunjin.

He looks extremely disheveled. Like, just woke up from a two-month hibernation, disheveled. In the blink of an eye, however, he rakes a hand through long blonde hair and promptly sets a baseball cap backwards to keep the strands away and suddenly, he doesn’t look so disheveled anymore. You force yourself to look away, cursing the way your gut twists.

“Gimme my crunchwrap,” you say around your straw, snatching the blunt from Jisung’s fingers and moving around him to fetch your dinner. He doesn’t even protest.

He knows you need it more than he does.

“That’s a lot of food,” Hyunjin says once he has finally entered the kitchen, voice groggy and eyes puffy from sleep. Or from being high, you can’t tell. Pressing his chest to your back, he wraps one arm around you to keep you against him while the other reaches into a bag to take what’s his. Swallowing past the desert dryness of your throat, you manage a thick inhale from the blunt before tilting your head to look at him and mentally thanking the other three for taking it as their cue to head out.

“Not my fault you guys eat like animals,” you chuckle shakily, trying to ignore the firmness of his body against yours, veins prominent on the arm that holds you against him and the ripple of muscle along his abdomen noticeable even through his shirt and yours. Dear god, it is too early for this. Not even seven o’clock and you are already drooling in more places than one.

Hyunjin pouts as if it is not true. “How much do I owe you?” He asks, finally moving away to grab his drink and you can’t help your disappointment, quickly finishing the blunt before tapping it out into one of the many ashtrays. “Don’t worry about it,” you wave off, digging through their drawers for a paper plate.

“YN,” Hyunjin deadpans, regarding you with a raised brow once you come up and begin unwrapping your food. You refuse to look him in the eye. “What do I owe you?” He repeats, firmer this time and it sends a chill down your spine when it most certainly should not. Sighing, you retrieve the receipt from your pocket and count everything he got. “Thirteen.”

Humming in content, Hyunjin reaches for his wallet on the counter and pulls a ten and five out. “There,” he beams, tucking the bills into your pocket himself. Rolling your eyes, you pray he does not notice how you flush and hurry out of the kitchen to join Seungmin on the sofa.

“House Hunters?” You ask with a laugh, looking at the TV once you have settled next to him. “I told you HGTV is the best.”

Seungmin hums in agreement. “I thought it was stupid at first, but Hyunjin was watching Fixer Upper and I got addicted,” he says, nodding to the older boy doing a little dance in the kitchen as he eats one of his tacos. Your heart does somersaults at the sight. “They’re all so good,” you agree after taking a few bites of your own food, eyes trained on the television, “House Hunters is a classic, though.”

“I like the international one,” Hyunjin adds on his way over, crashing unceremoniously next to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Seungmin wrinkle his nose when Hyunjin sets his free hand casually on your thigh. “Shh,” he grumbles, vaguely gesturing to the screen and chewing a mouthful of food, “I wanna hear what the house has.”

One episode turns to two, which turns to three, which turns to four, and suddenly you have been watching House Hunters with Seungmin and Hyunjin for almost three hours. It definitely is the weed, always making time perpetually slower, and it did not help when Jisung and Changbin reappeared sometime during your binge with one of Felix’s bongs. Not necessarily how you intended to spend your precious Friday night, but there is no sense in complaining when you are with your buddies and Hyunjin, of course.

Taco Bell long gone, you watch with blurry eyes when Hyunjin gets up from his slumped position against you to head into the kitchen and open the freezer. This, as well as the realization that House Hunters has ended and gone to some other, not-as-cool show, brings both you and Seungmin somewhat back to reality.

“It’s almost ten,” Seungmin announces, staring dazedly at the time on his phone. You hum in acknowledgment, certainly sober enough to reply but simply too lazy to. “I think I’m going to bed. Or play something. Don’t wreck the place,” he sighs, dragging a hand down his face before standing up. “G’night, Minnie,” you smile, watching with a furrowed brow as he continues down the hall and into his room. It isn’t until you hear his door click shut does the weight of being alone with Hyunjin settle on your chest.

It’s not like you haven’t spent time alone with Hyunjin before. In fact, that usually is the way it’s been in the past three years; whether the two of you decided to do your own thing or the rest of your friends eventually left or went to bed, you are used to this feeling. Used to ignoring the butterflies in your gut when he does something particularly cute and used to tampering down the mental images you conjure up knowing it’s just you and him.

But that doesn’t make things any easier. No matter how hard you try, you simply can’t help but feel this way around Hyunjin, especially when you’re alone. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

“Whatcha wanna watch?” Hyunjin asks around one last spoonful of ice cream before setting the pint back into the freezer. “Uhh…” You drone, blinking heavily at the TV and back to him as he makes his way back over. “I dunno, I’m sure you’ve been watching some drama. You can put that on.”

“You sure?” He asks with a raised brow, collapsing next to you and slumping dramatically halfway down the cushions. “Yes,” laughing, you find yourself reaching out to tuck messy strands of hair back behind his ear without hesitation, “also, why are you wearing a hat inside?”

Hyunjin pauses, straining to look up as if he will be able to see the back of his cap against his forehead. “I’m wearing a hat?”

“Yes, you idiot,” in comes the endless weed giggles and you find yourself unable to stop laughing, watching with teary eyes as he sits up and takes his hat off. “I don’t remember putting this on,” he chuckles airily, flipping the cap back and forth in his hands before tossing it onto the coffee table. “Should I cut it?”

“No!” You shout a little too quickly and a little too loudly. Shrinking against the arm of the couch, you ignore his amused smile and look to his long hair, freshly bleached strands falling down to his neck and shorter pieces brushing against his cheeks. Fuck, it should be illegal to look this good. “I like it long. It really suits you.”

“It’s annoying,” Hyunjin grins despite his complaint, lifting his legs onto the couch and flopping onto his side, head now resting on your lap. “I don’t know what to do with it.”

Now that he’s offered playing with his hair on a silver platter, you don’t hesitate combing your fingers through it, tugging out pieces stuck under his head and brushing it out completely. “You could pull the sides back,” you hum distantly, separating a section of hair near his temple to pull back, “or make a bun with what you can. You just have to play around with it.”

Humming in agreement, Hyunjin resituates himself after reaching for the remote and switching to Netflix. When you go back to simply raking your fingers from root to tip in irregular directions, you don’t miss the way his eyelids flutter at the motion and make sure to pay extra attention to his scalp. When this turned into a head massage, you’re not entirely sure.

The drama Hyunjin puts on is unbearable. You stopped paying attention a while ago, focusing more on him and how he seems to enjoy it, fingers busy braiding random sections of hair, taking them out, and then braiding them again. With two finally done the way you want them to, you are midway through the third when your fingers begin to cramp up.

“Why’d you stop?” Hyunjin asks seconds after you drop the braid and stretch your fingers out. “Fingers are cramping,” chuckling at the disappointed pout of his lips, you crack what knuckles you can before going back and undoing the unfinished braid. “Oh,” he mutters, cheek still pressed against your leg, “feels good.”

Humming in response, you ignore the way his words make your heart swell and begin gathering all his hair into a ponytail, pressing the braids to lay flat and finally tying it with a hair tie once you have combed up all that you can. Immediately, his bangs and hairs closer to the nape of his neck fall out, leaving the ponytail spikey and messy. At least the braids look good. You can’t help but giggle.

“What?” Hyunjin asks, pausing his show and leaning up. “What’d you do?”

“Go see for yourself,” pointing to the bathroom, you comb out a looped piece of hair before he stands to do just that. His ponytail bobs the entire walk there.

When he reaches the door and flips the light on, you watch from your position as he checks himself out, brushing away his bangs and flicking the pony. You frown when he accidentally yanks at a braid.

“Come here,” you say, sitting up, “you messed up the braid.”

“Honestly,” Hyunjin considers his reflection one last time before skipping his way over, “it doesn’t look half bad.” Expecting him to sit back next to you, your pulse quickens when he anchors a hand to the armrest and leans in front you, only inches away from your face. “No, definitely,” you say once you have gotten over the shock of him being so close so suddenly, “I like it in the ponytail. You’d really impress the girls if you braided your hair yourself.” Reaching up to tuck hair back into the braid and press it down flat once more, you don’t miss the way his brows draw together and lips twitch down. “What?”

Time ceases to exist as Hyunjin begins to come closer. In reality, you know it simply is a matter of seconds, but all of space and time seems to still once he leans forward. It feels as if an eternity goes by, allowing you to count each individual eyelash, memorize the details of his skin, take note of the smoothed lines on his plump lips. The way time slows is cruel; it allows panic to set in, the realization that he most certainly is looming over you with his eyes on your lips sending a spark of excitement and anxiety through your veins.

And then, just as this realization and this panic has set your nerves aflame, a gentle hand comes to cradle your jaw before Hyunjin’s lips press against yours.

It is so easy to surrender to the taste and touch of him. Instantly, an eruption of emotions and thoughts spiraling out of control fills you, yet your brain focuses only on Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin. This is not the first time you have kissed him, nor the first time simply having him so close, but the feeling that radiates from your heart outward is unlike anything you have felt before. This is uncalled for. This is not like two years ago. You were not expecting this.

Hyunjin sighs into the kiss when you lean up to loop your arms around his neck. No sooner have you done this, he breaks away to sit beside you once more, hands reaching for your waist and guiding you to sit over his lap.

You could kiss him all day, you think, palms lying flat by his collarbones before fisting the material of his shirt when his tongue prods at the seam of your lips. Blood seemingly coming to a boil and nerves sparking dangerously, you find yourself quickly sobering up as the minutes tick by, completely and utterly addicted to him and this feeling, this feeling you have craved but never crossed the line for. And now, it’s yours to keep.

Forgetting the braids, you seize the opportunity to rake your fingers through his hair. Different, than how you did earlier. Desperate. Combing it away from his face once, twice, swallowing his groans when you tug at the roots, you realize with a whine that his hands have left your face in favor of dragging down your sides, circling back to squeeze at your breasts, rubbing at your thighs and finally sliding back to your ass, situating you more comfortably on his thighs.

When Hyunjin finally breaks the kiss to journey elsewhere, littering chaste kisses across your jaw, below your ear, down your neck, the weight of your actions finally hits you. It is overwhelming, the way you come spiraling back to reality, and you are not sure if the quiet moan that leaves you is due to the press of something else against your thigh or simply the realization that you are making out with Hyunjin.

You have to stop before you get hurt again.

“Hyunjin,” you gasp, shuddering when his soft lips brush against your jaw, “wait. We need to talk.”

He pauses at this, fingers digging into your sides and you feel his frown against your neck. “What’s there to talk about?” He murmurs, arms sliding around you and tugging you closer, prompting you to wrap your arms around his neck and hug him close and pretend like his boner isn’t digging into you.

It’s your turn to frown. “About us,” whispering, you lift one hand to stroke through his hair, “we need to talk about us.”

“I thought my feelings were very clear,” Hyunjin scoffs, all tenderness in his voice gone. Instinctively, you lean back, blinking at him in surprise. “Unless this is just another one of your games? Does this not mean anything to you, YN? I don’t think I could stomach you running off to Changbin or fucking Chan again.”

His words pierce your heart before you have even fully processed them, hurt flashing across your features and your body goes numb. “What?” Is all you can manage, scrambling to get away from him, chest heaving and eyes suddenly burning with the brine of tears. “What are you talking about, Hyunjin?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” He shouts. You flinch, not from the way he raises his voice, but from the genuine sadness in his eyes. “The past three years have been a constant battle with you. We’re best friends, for fucks sake, I figured out a long time ago that you have feelings for me. Feelings more than best friends. Yet every fucking time we started moving in the right direction, you turned your back on me.”

You can do nothing but stand there and let the tears fall. All the words and bottled emotions you wish to say are right there on the tip of your tongue, but you simply cannot bring yourself to voice them. Not when he’s right. Not when you have turned your back on him time and time again.

And then, he hisses more to himself than you, “Is this just sloppy seconds? You never once thought about my feelings in all of this?”

The anger brewing within you suddenly bursts from the dam and hisses through your body like deadly poison. “Sloppy seconds?” You snarl, fists clenching. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Your feelings? You just said you know how I feel about you, so why didn’t you ever do anything about it? How was I supposed to know you felt the same?”

“I thought it was pretty fucking obvious,” Hyunjin spits back, gaze narrowing, “didn’t think I had to spell out the fact that I like you, YN. You’re a smart girl.”

“Do not treat me like a child,” clenching your jaw, you have to look away for a moment, pacing one, two, three steps, hands raking through your hair and wiping away the stream of tears from your cheeks. You have never been filled with such rage. Having finally reached its boiling point, it now consumes you whole, sweeping off in waves and destroying all boundaries. “Confessing is not an easy thing, as you apparentlyknow, so don’t make me seem like the only idiot here. But maybe I was wrong about you if you think of me as just sloppy seconds.”

“I never said that!” Hyunjin barks, standing up to grasp your wrist when you turn away to grab your keys. “Don’t put words in my mouth! I would never, never think of you that way. I just don’t understand why you never spoke up after all this time. I’ve been dying, YN, you have no clue how badly I have been—”

“Oh, believe me, I know,” you snap, yanking your arm away from him, “I told you, Hyunjin. Telling someone you love them isn’t as easy as learning to ride a bike. You’re right, I have turned my back on you. But not intentionally. I’ve been scared, I’m a pussy, whatever.” Biting your top lip as if it will stop the tears that continue to fall freely, you avoid looking at him and glance back to find not only Seungmin, but Jisung and Changbin, too, peeking out from their doors with eyes blown wide with shock. Once you have noticed them, however, they panic and scramble to get out of sight.

Sighing shakily, you look back to Hyunjin and cannot ignore the way your heart sinks at the sight of him. Even upset, he is beautiful. You wonder how much you will see him after this.

“You don’t have to tell me you like me back to make me feel better, Hyunjin,” bouncing on your heels, you suddenly feel exhausted, body and soul heavy with the words you not only spoke, but heard, too. “We can figure this out another day, but for now, I need to go home. I’ll see you.”

Turning away once more, you do not make it very close to the front door before he stops you once more. “Wait, YN,” Hyunjin huffs, smiling softly when he reaches for your hand and you do not pull away. Running his tongue over his lip, he seems to hesitate for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

“Did you mean it when you said you love me?”

⇢ epilogue

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