#but i really CANT when it comes to my feelings
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MARRIAGE COUNSELING W ART PLEASEEEEEEEE GOD THE DEVASTATION THAT TAKES PLACE ON THAT COUCH
i think about it alot. tashi staying with patrick, her injury never happening. your arts college girlfriend and now you're married and it feels fucking stagnant, your relationship. but neither of you wants to give up. neither of you wants to reveal to the other true feelings.
under the cut because this got long and i have a whole au in my hear around this concept
you're only in counseling because of tashi. because shes still in your lives, her and patrick. and she recommended it to art when they were having one of their 'friend' lunches. and now here you are, because of course art took her advice.
he hasn't said anything, though. despite pleading for this. saying he wanted to save your marriage, that he wanted to love you how you should be loved but he didn't know how.
so here you are, on opposite ends of the couch, with the counselor staring at the empty space between you like that in itself is very telling. you suppose it is, in a way. couples who want to stay together should be unified, shouldn't they? you imagine how it would feel, if art had sat next to you. put an arm around you. squeezed you to his side. would you even be able to relax into him? its been so long since you touched eachother that way.
"so im picking up on some distance here," your therapist says. shes a small woman. almost swallowed by her chair. her glasses are perched on her nose as she gazes imperiously at empty space separating you and art. "not just physical either, though thats rather obviously there. but emotional distance. do either of you wanna comment on that?"
you cut a glance at art, expecting him to speak up since this was his idea - well. tashi's. but he just looks down at his lap, quiet. spins his wedding band around his finger.
you feel an anger so intense it pricks your eyes with tears.
"well, i guess you could start with the fact that coming here wasn't even either of our idea. it was his friends."
and now. here art speaks. his head jerks up and she shoots you an annoyed look. "you don't have to say it like that. you always say it like that. her name is tashi and she is my friend. and it was her suggestion, yeah, but it was a good one."
you look at the therapist - janet. raise your eyebrows in arts direction like, get a load of this guy. your legs cross and you start picking at a stray string from the couch.
"first words of the session and its to talk about another woman."
arts inhale is sharp and you can feel his eyes on you but you dont look at him. you can't. you wont. you're right, anyway. he can try to deny it all he wants but you know - you know what you are to him. you know where all your problems stem. you dont need to be here to make any grand discoveries over a fact you've resigned yourself too.
"i see." janet says. "and art having a relationship with this other woman upsets you."
"everything upsets her." art cuts in, sounding tired. his elbow is braced on the arm of the couch and hes chewing on his thumb in one of his nervous gestures. he always did that, as long as you've known him. he was a nail biter, he'd chew his lips raw, he'd nibble on straws, the ends of his pens. he was either lost in thought or agitated. your guess was the latter. "nothing i do makes her happy."
"is this true? are you unhappy with art?"
your skin feels hot. you shift around in your seat. the attention is all on you, and it feels like you've done something wrong, even though you know its literally janets job to ask questions.
"more like i know I'm not what he wants and that makes me...... really fucking sad."
art knees almost knock against yours as he turns his body to face you, giving you his full attention the first time today. you cant meet his eyes still, so you look at the faded spot on his jeans. light blue, like his eyes. you wonder how hes looking at you. cant make yourself look up to see.
"what." he stops. seems to gather some thoughts. tries again, with a steadier tone. "what are you talking about."
you try not to roll your eyes. your arm flings out limply.
"just that this whole thing is a joke, art." and you let out an exasperated laugh, even though nothing is funny. nothing has been funny or light between you two in a long time. "we're only here because the girl you really wanted to marry, told you to get your fucking shit together. you didn't ask us to come here because you wanted to mend something, you're here to please tashi. because if playing a good husband is a role she wants for you - well, you want to play it right, dont you?"
its quiet after that. in the silence you cant help but think about those early days. when you'd been full of love and light and art seemed to be really happy with you. you'd go on dates to the movies, walk through the park together with your hands swinging between you. laugh together and steal kisses whenever you could. you felt high back then.
it didn't even matter that art had a crush on tashi, because hell, you had one too, at the time. but she'd started dating patrick, and they seemed to mesh well together. they were both so intense and passionate. back then, you'd been alot closer to tashi yourself. patrick too. you remember the way she'd rant about how much she fucking hated him, pacing around your room and calling him every name under the sun. and you'd sit there with eager curiosity, and ask her why she didn't end it then. if he makes you so angry, why stay?
and she'd get this faraway look in her eyes. kind of wistful. kind of sad. kind of happy.
"because he makes me feel fucking alive. hes like a - like a drug or something. i cant quit. its addictive, you know?"
that stuck with you. it still sticks with you. you remember being envious of that kind of passion. youe relationship with art had always been so easy. you dont think you'd ever fought by that point. you loved art. you felt safe with art. but were you addicted to him? if you broke up - would you feel withdrawal symptoms?
sometimes you layed awake at night and thought about starting a fight - breaking up for no reason. just to see if he'd fight for you back, if the missing of eachother would be so intense one of you would cave.
but somehow you knew that wouldn't be the case. thats just not how you and art operated. if you got angry, he wouldn't rise to meet you, he'd back down. if you ended things, he wouldn't chase you, he'd let you go.
patrick and tashi were fire and brimstone and you and art was ice and you were....... dirt. solid. walked upon. dependable and not at all exciting.
when art had proposed to you after college graduation it wasn't spur of the moment as it had been with patrick when he'd swept tashi up with a ring and a elopement to vegas. it was talked about and agreed upon and you knew it was coming.
you still said yes.
"you think," and arts voice has a barely concealed tremble to it that makes you look up, finally. you're shocked to see he looks wounded. so many of his expressions you can count on one hand - and this - this wasn't one of them. his eyes are dark, stormy. "you think i dont care about our marriage beyond what someone else has to say about it? you really think that?"
you hate the sliver of guilt you feel, because its not a crazy thing to feel.
"yeah, i really do."
because well, that's the truth of the matter isn't it? you and your husband stare at eachother. and it feels like you're looking at a stranger. not the man who's freckles you used to kiss. who's fears you knew. who's hands you know every callous of, every divot and fingerprint.
"it seems you two have very different views of how the other views this marriage." janet cuts in, sounding curious. she taps her pen against the open notepad on her lap. "art, would you like to chime in on why you wanted to come here? even at the suggestion of someone else?"
art stares at you for a long moment. his face is unreadable to you. his jaw works before his chest expands on an exhale and he looks away.
"i guess i - i just didn't realize how..... stagnant things had gotten until it was pointed out to me. harshly." he winces, and you wonder exactly what tashi had to say to him. you haven't talked to the other woman for some time. contact fizzling out after your marriage to art. he flicks a glance to you, then away again. "im not the best at being aware of shit going on around me." his hand comes up to rub nervously at his neck. "i guess you could say im good at brushing things under the rug. going through the motions. that sort of thing."
janet nods like this makes sense to her. well, great, you think. you know my husband more than i do.
"you're not a fan of confrontation, are you?"
art actually laughs. a genuine one. one that brings a dimple to his cheek and flashes his teeth. you stare at it, like its an exotic animal, and you wont see it again. quickly you catalog the expression in your memory, so you dont forget what he looks like when hes happy.
"yeah, no." he shakes his head. "but I think thats part of the problem. I've obviously let too much shit get put under the rug and now its so full other people are noticing."
you look down at your hands, lips pressed together. your face burns at the knowledge that tashi and by extension - patrick - know your marriage is in shambles. how embarrassing, to be caught lacking in such a momentous way. to come up short and have your husbands friends know about it. you wonder - does he talk about all the ways you make him miserable with them? does patrick shake his head, say, "she's sucking the life out of you, man." does tashi look at him with pity? like hes some poor abused cat that needs to be let in from the rain?
the rain of your marriage.
the rain of you.
you're the storm. you're the problem. you're not enough. art needs fire. you're not even dirt, you're glass. and you can feel yourself breaking.
"that clearly hit a nerve, my dear." janets voice is soft. soothing. she hands you a tissue and you realize you'd begun to cry. "do you want to explain what you're feeling about what art said?"
"i...."
you dab dab dab at your eyes. sniffle. look around the room, trying to collect your thoughts. they feel like flyaway dandelions. you dont know which of them to grasp.
a warm hand settles over yours in your lap and you startle. its arts hand. warm and calloused and tan, covering yours. the gold glint of his wedding ring winks at you, the engraved words etched into them, "my soft epilogue". a shortened version of your favorite qoute i think we deserve a soft epilogue, my love.
at the time, that's what art was to you. your life before him hadn't been easy. being with art had felt like coming home from a long day and falling into a soft bed. it had felt like being able to land after weeks of being made to fly.
you turned your palm up, so he could slide his fingers between yours. he squeezed your hand.
"i think, i. i think i just think - I'm a failure." your bottom lip wobbles. you look at your enterwoven fingers and it makes you so sad that you haven't done the simple gesture of holding your husbands hand in months. "the two most important people in your life are. are so passionate and loud. and i see. i see how happy they make you - and i cant - i cant b-be that for you. we aren't - im not - you dont need me. im not a limb for you how they are. you could extract yourself from me and be. be happier."
your breath shudders out of you.
"you don't need me." you echo.
you wait for him to pull his hand away. this is more than you thought you'd share. some of it you weren't even aware of till the words were spilling from your lips. but they ring true.
without patrick and tashi art would drown. without you..... he'd float just fine.
"and that's important to you." janet says. a statement not a question. "you want to feel needed by art, and you feel as though you aren't. that his needs are met better with his friends than with you."
you nod slowly.
"baby." the word sends a shock through you. not the word itself but how its said. art calls you baby all the time, in a monotonous kind of way. routine. now he says it softly. with feeling. he lets go of your hand in favor of cupping your cheek, still damp with tears, turning your face to his. he looks pained. "of course i need you. i know i haven't been good at showing it. i just - you shut down - after we got married. you've been like a fucking ghost. like you dont want me to touch you. like i could dissappear for all you care and you'd just carry on. i don't know. but i need you, okay? i. need. you."
both hands cup your face, he makes you stare right into him. the conviction in his voice takes your breath away. theres a fire burning there you've thought long put out.
"obviously we have shit to sort out, and we will. but you've got to. you've got to know that. tashi only pushed me to do this because she how - how desperate i was. that's all."
you inhale deeply. exhale. swallow hard. tears cling to your lashes. you reach a hand up to clutch at one of arts wrists. eyes fluttering automatically when you do. you feel grounded again. less like you might float away.
"okay."
"yeah?"
"yeah...." and you smile. it trembles across your lips. but its there. "we'll sort our shit."
art lets out a relieved breath. kisses your forehead, lingering there. the gesture so tender you get emotional again. you want to crawl into his lap, have him wrap you in his arms. you want to feel held by him, like you used to.
"our time is up." janet sets her pen down. smiles. "but i think that was a wonderful first session. i can see the love between you hasn't faded, and that's more i can say for alot of couples who come to see me. keep your chin up."
#ask#poppy fic#i guess?#see its complex right because reader definitely isn't crazy art DID feel some kind of way abt tashi#and still does#but hes in love w us. he is.#its just different. like.#its complicated but its like. art cant allow himself to feel passion because he thinks its too much#and you WANT passion like patrick and tashi have. you want it mixed in with the comfort and stability w art.#but arts self worth is low so hes like. why fight passionately for anything if im not enough im not enough ig#and thats sm he needs to overcome#because its making you feel unwanted#also theres definitely some feelings for patrick and tashi on your side as well#tashi definitely misses you and wishes you would talk to her#so many more thoughts on this#anyway#art donaldson x reader#reader and art just need to FUCK real rawdog real sloppy#art donaldson#challengers x reader#art x reader#failmarriage au
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i feel like some of you are really shooting yourselves in the foot. i get it! trust me, i get it! i, well known dai hater, also have my anxieties abt da4 - and yes, even expectations abt things like where the plot is going to etc - but the teaser is TWO MINUTES LONG and i've been ripping it to shreds to get SOMETHING out of it, but the truth is that it's just not going to be indicative of the full game
the teaser trailers for dao imply that the sacred ashes quest is gonna be the huge memorable quest - and for me, they simply weren't? and how different did the actual game look to the teasers like let's be sooo real. da2 teasers hinged on the qunari invasion which was like... just one of many, many events in da2. and hawke and isabela didnt even look like that. i cant even remember seeing solas in the inquisition trailers?
the teasers aren't even for the plot, is the thing. these teasers are literally companion reveals, of course it's aimed to make the characters look cool and interesting, rather than really foreshadowing anything deep about the storylines - that's for things like tevinter nights, and the comics, and even absolution. it just feels really weird to use the thing they're using to advertise the companions for this game as a metric for the entire game plot and vibes. dao and da2 trailers were SO FUCKING INTENSE and then you get iconic lines like swooping is bad and hawke stepped in the poopy like...............
like da4 is not going to be dao. it's not going to be da2. it's not going to be dai either. all three of these games were tonally totally different from each other, and idk where the expectation is coming from that da4 will be like the other games. especially when the writing direction, as i've talked abt on this blog a few times already, is definitely changing and evolving. whether or not i personally like that direction is irrelevant to the fact it's happening.
i support the haterisms - god knows ive got my issues with it - but sometimes i just think you guys are unnecessarily hostile for weird reasons and i dont get it. "people who hate dragon age the most are people who love it" i dont think you guys like dragon age anymore, is the thing. which is fine, but i'm not obliged to tolerate it, or you. like you can just say: you liked dragon age origins. you liked dragon age 2. you maybe even like dai. and you're not interested in da4. that's fine. because da4 is not those games. i dont really care to hear abt the whinging abt how da's ruined or whatever - da hasn't been the same literally since da2, which was already a tonal shift from dao. da has been changing, and i have opinions abt the changes, but fundamentally, i am - cautiously, warily, anxiously - excited about a new game. new content. new companions. new maps. new knowledge. new narratives to chew on. aren't you?
if you're not, have you considered that you just don't like dragon age anymore? and that's fine? and you can just move on?
and idk why are you acting like a 2 min teaser is gospel for how the entire game is going to anyway? we know practically nothing, and at least try to keep that in mind when you're drawing firm conclusions abt the wholeass game based on the trailers because you literally WILL NOT KNOW. the teaser literally means nothing except: here are your companions. this is what they look like and where they're from. everything else based off the trailers is wild conjecture
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Hear me out for mixing Emperor Tim and Spider Tim. Spider Tim does not want any of the Bats to know about his spider form, but Young Justice knows all about it. It started because Greta asked him about the magic she could sense in him and Tim telling them that he had some "thread based magic" and took a few strands of his silk to wrap around Cassie. She had to genuinely try to break out of just 5 loops of this hair thin thread. They ask him why he doesn't use this all the time and Tim simply shrugs, "I can't make a lot of it. The older I get, the more I'll be able to make bur for now? I'm stuck with only a few dozen yards a day." This isn't quite true. He can currently make about 50 yards but it will grow with time.
Months later, they run into a magician who casts an anti magic barrier around them, canceling out Tim's Glamor and he immediately transforms into his spider form. He looks back at himself and then yells, "you rat fucking bastard! Do you have any idea how rude it is to out people as non human who aren't ready to come out yet?! I'm gunna fucking *eat* you!" To which, he does. They do a Q&A as Tim devours his meal in the saftey of Bart's space ship. Tim tells them about how dangerous poachers are to him and why, how his mom is the best ever and what normal spider demon parents do, why he's actually eating the guy, and when someone asks about his civilian ID, Tim says, "I still can't tell you but bow you've seen why. You know what I am. I just told you how much of a problem poachers are. If word gets out that I'm a Spider Demon and one of you guys slip up with my civilian name, it's not just me at stake. It's my mom and her siblings and my cousins and my siblings who I've never met. Our families don't meet up because of how dangerous the poachers are,how they could and would decimate our entire population at the drop of a hat. You think they don't use truth spells on us to try and pry who our family members are out of us? You think they won't use those same spells on you guys to force you to tell them who I am so that they can hunt down and exterminate my family? I can't risk that, even if I trust you guys with this form. But... I can tell you guys that you can call me Tim." Having such a good explanation for why he cant tell them beyond "Batman said I can't" should let up a ton of tension in the future and make when he does eventually tell them all the sweeter.
Tim decides that when he's visiting his planets, he doesn't have to worry about Earth Based Poachers so he uses his spider form. He has to admit that it feels *really* nice to stretch out his limbs for so long and also climb up and down walls. Plus! None of these people know to fear spiders! He doesn't have to worry about looks of disguste or hatred simply for what he is! His citizens still think he's adorable and sweet and small.
His spider form does *not* help with the problems with the GLC because the moment the humans see a picture of him, they are all reeling back. John will never admit that he has a phobia of spiders. Kyle freely says, "it looks like it's a spider demon. There was rumors of one running around back on Earth for a while. I never saw it but if it is, then it's extremely dangerous." And Hal pipes up, "I saw it once and that is definitely the spider demon that was running around. I didn't get to see it for very long, but I was hunting down a magician and saw it fighting that thing. It was horrifying, that thing chopped the guy up with its front, scythe like legs and after it killed the magician, it ate them! And then it vanished. But how did it get into space and become the leader of this empire?"
Hal did see Tim do that. What he didn't see is that fact that the magician was a poacher who was planning to also go after the other Bats thinking that they were definitely creatures too. Of course Tim wouldn't allow his family to be hunted like that by someone who would tell them his greatest secret. So he made sure they couldn't and had a nice snack in the process.
Tim deserves to snack on that magician. That was rude af of them to do that to him (although I doubt they cared and they can't care now that they are dead). Do magicians taste differently? Like static or something?
I'm also curious about how YJ treats Tim's OG form. I bet he oscillates between severely unbothered (it's who he is, why should he care?) to being self conscious (Bats and others have expressed their dislike of spiders and his form could cause him to be taken out by a poacher). He just flips between these two depending on various variables.
I'm also curious about Tim killing and the No Killing Rule. How will Bruce react to this?
I do like the addition you did for GLs. I wonder if they try to reach out to John Constantine about the spider demon taking over the universe. I love Tim and Constantine interactions, ngl
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(DOMESTIC) SANEGIYUU HEADCANONS
Sanemi is ALWAYS the one cooking
I’m sorry but I can only see Giyuu fucking up scrambled eggs or something. Sanemi cooks (or bakes) like a professional
Giyuu having a bedhead (he’s adorable) and Sanemi waking him up by either:
throwing a pillow on his face
running his hands through his hair and a “good morning, shithead”
One or the other, no in betweens
Sanemi usually does the chores like laundry, cooking, etc (malewife<33)
Giyuu can do things if given clear instructions tho
Hmm showering together just as a habit
If either of them were mad at the other (or they js fought) before bed, they’ll probably distance themself on the futon
When they wake up they’re always cuddling though
ouugh yes they share a bed
(it was so awkward at first like “ok… i’ll have this side” but then they got comfy and steal each other’s pillows (so romantic smh))
Sanemi definitely holds a longer grudge
Giyuu gets upset if he gets ignore too long, though, and Sanemi eventually caves
Why do I feel like Sanemi would just take pictures or videos of Giyuu randomly
When he’s asleep, when he’s just woken up, when he’s eating, doesn’t matter
Because Sanemi’s in charge of meals usually, Giyuu only gets salmon daikon once a week (which is already a lot as is, but he begs Sanemi for it so…)
Sanemi used to braid/put up his siblings hair a lot and when the two are cuddling, sometimes he makes little braids in Giyuu’s hair, or pulls it up in a high ponytail (often Giyuu wakes up with braids and his hair gets a lil wavy when he takes it out later)
Giyuu’s the baby in the relationship you cant change my mind. He’s the little spoon; he’s being carried because he’s tired; he’s given breakfast in bed.
Sanemi honestly doesn’t mind (he’s used to this) but likes teasing Giyuu about it
Giyuu has a bow of Tsutako’s (he stole a spare) and wears it to formal places always. (job interview? bow. prom? bow. work? bow.)
Sometimes Giyuu helps Sanemi hang up the laundry but they somehow end up hugging always (Giyuu goes on the other side of the clothing line and ThEIr lEgS juST mOVed By THemSElf)
On weekends, when there’s nothing to do, Sanemi will just scroll through his phone and Giyuu watching TV
Giyuu can NEVER not fall asleep during a movie though. depends on the day but he’ll either fall asleep 20 mins in or half way through
Sanemi doesn’t really watch movies and just slowly turns down the volume then off to not startle him awake
I can see Sanemi just volunteering to babysit for their friends (for free<3) and just having a box full of children’s toys for when they come over
Giyuu once overfed a baby to near sickness (“I thought her grabby hands were for more :(“ - “YOU IDIOT, SHE WAS TRYING TO PUSH AWAY THE BOTTLE!!”) and was thereafter forbidden to care for the children (unless they were older than, like, 12)
After a stressful day at work, Giyuu likes flopping down on the couch and having Sanemi run his hands through his hair and hum a bit, maybe small talk
I think Giyuu is actually an open book and horrible at hiding his emotions (like canonically as a child he was like that, only the deaths changed him sooo) whilst Sanemi is better at hiding things
But like after years of living with Sanemi/js being with him, Giyuu has been able to see small telltales
When he’s lying, Sanemi’s eyes flick every so slightly away (so subtly that only a few have caught it before), when he’s upset, he’s a little clingier or his voice is calmer (though many people interpret it as tiredness), when he’s angry but trying to stay calm he’ll probably have a lot of clenched fists (his hand opening and closing x100) but behind his back haha
Why can I see them both as dry texters tho.
Giyuu tries to sound more upbeat by adding emojis/emoticons but overall it’s basically just “Ok 😁👍❤️😋😚✨🎆🎉🎊🎏🍩🔥” // 😭 yeah he doesn’t have a lot of people to text…
I can also see Sanemi being a little old fashioned in a way, idk… He knows perfectly fine how to use a phone and shit but for some time mostly sent letters (except for casual/small talk ofc)
ok that’s it i can’t think of anything else anymore!!
#kny#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#fluff#gay#hashira#giyuu tomioka#sanemi shinazugawa#sanegiyuu#giyuusane#domestic fluff#sanemi x giyuu#giyuu x sanemi#gays#lgbtq#headcanons#giyuu headcanon#sillyness#sanemi headcanons#ds#kny giyuu#kny sanemi#kny sanegiyuu#sanegiyuu headcanons#giyuu headcanons#gay shit
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So I had this fluffy little thought that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. It literally has me me knowing at the bars of my enclosure , so hear me out, you’re younger than the main Yellowjackets (tai, Van, nat, Shauna, Lottie, Laura Lee , and jackie) and you’re on the JV team, so they’re all super overprotective of you (like nat and Van tried to give you alcohol at a party once and it almost gave Jackie an aneurysm) . I’m thinking like , you know how javi carved the little wolf in the wilderness?, what if you did something similar for the girls? Like a bunny for Jackie, deer for Lottie , a wolf for Van, etc. (I’m definitely think you made a squirrel for tai, just because other tai climbs trees and shit, so you and Van think it’s funny). I wanted to see where you’d go with this, if you want you could make it a little angst like when they’re out the wilderness they still have the carvings, like if you survived or not, whatever you’re feeling.
I love your writing btw <3, just out of curiosity can I be ✨ anon?
nat and van would be menaces towards you like jackie's running slow-mo towards you when she sees them hand you a red solo cup and slaps it out of ur hand 😭😭 ur glued to her side the rest of the night. usually, it's only them who go out after games to celebrate but they always invite you to come along :( sometimes it's shauna driving you there and jackie's forced in the backseat for once in her life, and sometimes it's taissa driving you back home and she stays parked in ur driveway until she sees ur bedroom light turn on and you text her that you're safe :(
shauna's motherly instincts kick in FULL force when you guys crash. she's pretty sure she has a concussion but she's running everywhere searching for you. actually, All of their motherly instincts come in when shauna finds you unconscious and trapped under a piece of metal near the crash site. because i live for angst, i could see the plane blowing up just as shauna goes to run over to you. the blast hits you and sends you flying a bit, but you're alive with some burn marks and nasty cuts and bruised ribs. lottie offers you the rest of her food and cleans up ur wounds :(( she's almost crying as she does it because she cares about you so much, and she's telling you that the second they get rescued she's taking you out to ur favorite place.
you're close to javi since you're almost the same age, so it hurts when you see his dad like that. nat and van hold you close to them so you dont see it, but you hear the gnarly splat sound of his body as it hits the floor. they shush you as you cry and shake in their grip. when tai finds the lake, you can't really walk because of your injuries, so they take turns carrying you. you cant swim either of course, and you feel a bit left out so once jackie sees how sad you are she gets out and sits with you :(
if you died on impact or because of your injuries, they'd be devasted. i dont think it'd be like a jackie or javi situation where they'd eat you because they just crashed and still have hope of being rescued. but for some reason if you made it into the winter and then died, they would 😭 i don't think they'd eat ur heart tho :( they would bury it somewhere special. they're all sick and grief-stricken, and they can't even bring themselves to cut up your clothes for more warmth. nat sleeps with the necklace you'd always wear; she wouldn't wear it though, she'd just hold it in her hands for comfort. they all have like a group hallucination of you too. like maybe van's wearing your old shorts and it's been a bad day for shauna and she just hallucinates that van is you :(
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Pink Pony Club (Richie Jerimovich one-shot)
♡ One-Shot Inspo: Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan "I'm up, and jaws are on the floor. Lovers in the bathroom and a line outside the door. Blacklights, and a mirrored disco ball Every night's another reason why I left it all"
♡ Summary: You're an Exotic Dancer / part time house mom at The Pink Pony, and end up falling for a man that is probably old enough to be your father.
♡ W/C: 2.9k
♡ Poste Date: 06/10/2024
♡ A/N: Hello all! again, for the asks that are atp starting to mold in my inbox - imma get to you. This specific dirty old man in a suit has been making me feel things lately, so naturally I had to write some porn about it. Asks are still open even though I cant promise it'll be done snappy. Hope everyones week is off to a great start so far!! Tagged those who commented on the post saying this would be a good idea just so you could see how it came out, hope you like :)
♡ Warnings for BTC: Age gap relationships (R is in her mid-to-late 20's, mentions of sex work, Club environments, swearing, smut, rough sex (Richie likes to be slapped around sometimes, kay?) lowkey simp!Richie, no use of Y/N - pet names only, readers stage name is Pixie Polestar , unprotected sex, not edited, we die like men!
♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡
➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡
➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡
➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡
➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡
You had met Richie just about 2 months ago. It was safe to say, life had chewed him up and spit him out lately.
If he was being honest with himself, the dating pool wasn’t exactly rich at 46 years old. He could count on almost two hands how long it had been since he got his dick up for more than just the binightly pornhub browser.
That led him into the Pink Pony Club one fateful August night. You were working your usual shift, Pixie Polestar. You - unlike some of the other girls - really enjoyed your job. At least, the aspect of having fun on stage, doing cute, sexy little acrobat-like tricks on the pole while horny men paid you to take more of your clothes off?
Yes please.
You weren’t a back room kind of girl, usually. That was because the amount of money you made from tricks on the pole was more than a lot of the girls you worked with made in a whole shift while you just worked the 45 minute trick-filled stage set then would give a few $400 lap dances depending on your mood, before skipping on home, taking a hot shower, and slipping in your silk sheets with your air conditioner turning your bedroom something akin to an ice box.
That was how that night was supposed to go.
How the night really went, was some loud borderline obnoxious man at least 15 years your senior, had found his way into the Pink Pony. He was wearing a pressed navy blue suit, that complimented his pretty blue eyes. That was the second thing you noticed about him while he loudly whistled for Krystal who was currently doing her set.
You weren’t really supposed to be here anymore - well- you didn’t have to be here. You had found yourself a solution, a real career path if you will. But you enjoyed your time on the pole because it was art, and dancing was a confidence booster for you. In any regard, you were going to get older, you were going to pass your prime as the house mom was always telling you girls, so you needed another stream of income.
Of course, being a … *eh-hem* - exotic dancer was the word you preferred, stripper just sounded trashy to you, did come with its negative stereotypes, one of which being no where will rent to you - because you had terrible credit. So, naturally, being the resourceful woman you are - you walked your happy ass to the open house of a for sale by owner showing, and told the nice realtor you’d take it.
Boom. Done, you had a place to live in 3 weeks, when you closed on it. Then, it dawned on you. The other girls you worked with had the same issue you did. So, you found another house, saved another 25k for the amount to put down, and rented it to your coworkers.
It was the perfect system, because you knew you’d get your rent. You knew exactly how much money each girl made because you watched them make it, you knew where they lived, and they had to look you in the eye every night. So it’s easy to say no one ever tried you. The only real reason you hung around The Pink Pony anymore was because you wanted to keep an eye on your girls and dancing was fun too.
When he first laid eyes on you, it was something akin to a cartoon character when their pupils turn into hearts. It wasn’t too abnormal, you were one of the more bombshell-esc dancers at the club, and that isn’t to say that you outdid anyone it was all based on preference. Some men loved plain Jane’s, and the plain Jane’s were just as beautiful as any of the other girls, but the reaction of men basically tripping over their feet to try and come talk to you was more likely going to happen to you then anyone else.
But he…didn’t come over, that was interesting to you. So, you being the master of customer service you were, took your drink and kept your eyes locked on his as you made your way across the room, and plopped right in his lap. “Never seen you here before sweetheart” your manicured hand found the back of his neck, gently caressing over his skin.
He tried to play it cool, but your tits we’re basically in his face, he could smell your perfume perfectly, fuck he genuinely can’t believe that a girl so beautiful just sauntered over and sat in his fucking lap. Was he dreaming? He found his mind racing, and for once in his 46 years he was dumbfounded and couldn’t find anything to say.
“Cat got your tongue honey?” You smirked a bit, gently cupping his stubbly cheek and rubbing your thumb over his bottom lip, pulling it gently before letting it snap back into place. He swallowed thickly, his hand resting on your bare thigh, just below the white glittery mesh coverup you were wearing.
“I’m Richie.” He blurted out, his cheeks felt like they were on fucking fire, any blood that wasn’t rushing there was rushing to his cock and he found himself wondering when the last time he’d gotten hard so easy was.
“Well hello Richie. I’m Pixie, what brings a handsome man like you in on a Friday night mm, no big plans?” You absentmindedly played with his chain, pretending to pay no mind to the long length that was hardening in the curve of your ass. All you would have to do is shuffle just a tiny bit and his cock would be nestled between your cheeks and the itty bitty powder pink g string that you wore beneath the tiny mesh piece of fabric that was basically for show and no use to cover anything.
“I guess I was lookin’ f’some entertainment. Think I found it” he spread his legs more, causing you to sink further into his lap and his hand found the curve of your waist, his thumb rubbing little up and down strokes over the smooth skin. He never believed that the sheer triple x rated porn movie he was creating in his mind would become a reality that night but man did it.
It was also his first night taking the dreaded viagra prescription his doctor had given him when he got real about his … shortcomings as of late. The man isn’t what he used to be stamina wise, okay? Nonetheless - he still rocked your shit - well, more like you rocked his.
Who knew this foul mouthed, old school, borderline toxic masculinity-entrenched motherfucker would get so much pleasure from your palm coming across his cheek just hard enough it left a yummy sting and telling him “My eyes are up here you old pervert” as you bounced on his cock with a rhythm he couldn’t bring to the table himself anymore, and that in turn causing your tits to bounce like a fucking hentai film less then a foot from his face.
Something about a younger girl calling him old and smacking him around all while using his cock to get herself off, babbling about how good he makes her feel made him more confident then he had been in years.
He often would find himself feeling a little pang of sadness after you started seeing eachother, in moments where you two were laughing a way he only ever did with Mikey before you came around, and making him feel like he was in fuckin’ High school again with how giddy he was to see you after every shift. All of it would just remind him how bad he wishes you could have met Mikey, and how bad he wishes he could tell Mikey.
Richie knows, he would be so jealous, but in a brotherly way - that such a young hot piece of ass, a young smart, hot, funny, piece of ass was calling him daddy, told him he was ‘her mans’ whatever the fuck that meant. He assumed girls today call their boyfriends that, there were a lot of little phrases and lingo you had to explain to him and would always make fun of him for being old after doing so.
He would tease you too, having some late 80s early 90’s radio station on (because the old head didn’t understand what streaming was) while he drove you around of course since he had learned from you that you were his ‘passenger princess’ and saying something like ‘oh babygirl this is before your time, this is from my day” before cranking up the radio and serenading you with Bad Girl by Madonna, belting it in such a silly, dramatic way between drags of his cigarette you couldn’t help but burst into giggles and kiss him at the next red.
You had told him that when you used to do private dances that Like a Virgin was one of your favorite to dance to for the ‘older’ gentleman, he spanked you playfully when you said his crowd was older as he usually did, and of course later that night he had you perform for him and you ended up getting your back blown out to material girl since you had been streaming the song from your phone and didn’t care to find it and turn it off.
When Tina had played it jokingly at family dinner one night, he couldn’t help the smirk that came to his lips at the memory. Funnily enough, she was the first person to find out about you. Of course, he didn’t divulge anything other than he was finally seeing someone consistently, nothing about your age or profession. Based on the way Tina had reacted with clapping and kissing his cheeks, gushing “I’m so proud of you papa! That’s so good, this is so good for you! You need to get out there more” he was reevaluating his social life or lack there of and telling himself he needed to get out more, which lucky for him you were young and bubbly so you could get him out of the house.
The next person he told, he really told, was Carmy. Well- technically Syd too, but she just happened to overhear.
“W-wait wait” Carmy pinched the bridge of his nose how he did when he was baffled and confused, brows knitting together as he shook his head. “Lemme- lemme just get this straight - y’datin a…..”
“Ex-o-tic dancer, cousin. It’s 2024, fuckin hell. Women dance and get paid for it - no big deal.” He repeated, emphasizing each sound as if what he was explaining was the most casual thing in the world, which - you had explained to him it should be so he took that and ran with it.
“You’re fucking…a stripper- a stripper that’s what they’re called when they dance naked - and how old did you say she was?” Syd questions.
“Hey- she leaves her panties on she’s only naked top up, and plus she doesn’t even have to anymore she does it for the art.” He points the spoon he was wiping down at Carmy “this new NOMA bullshit we’re doin’ here isn’t the only art, Cousin. Shes an artist” he dropped the spoon in the bucket with the rest of the pristine ones he’d worked on.
“Sure- and she’s fuckin younger then me” Carmy replied. “She could be y’fuckin-“
“Yeah, yeah - whatever she could be my fuckin daughter where’s your girlfriend huh? I don’t see anyone linin’ up to fuck you. She’s nice, and into me - and - and she’s funny and smart. So see already 2 qualities named that I don’t see much of around here so excuse fuckin me f’wantin to be happy when I’m not in this shithole” he teased
“So- this not even 30 year old, she is gonna be y’date to the thanksgiving friends and family night - the one your daughter and ex wife are attending - and you think that will be a good idea considering tiff’s track record with girls you bring around” Syd questioned.
“Yup” was all he said before taking the now finished bin of spoons to be put away, glad for the conversation to have finally been over.
He rehashed the whole conversation with you later that night as you slowly rolled your hips into his, your skin sticking to his, both of you covered with a thin layer of sweat. You had his hands pinned next to his head, fingers interlaced with yours, practically speaking into your mouth as you kissed him sloppy and open mouthed, obsessed with eachothers taste. You always tasted of bubblegum, a habit you’d carried with you since childhood, he always tasted of cigarettes, a habit he had carried since high school.
“Baby with my job I’m used to people not understanding me - I didn’t expect your friends to like me. My job - it can make people uncomfortable. But fuck them. You know how we feel huh?” You picked up the speed of your hips, using the curly deep brown patch of hair at the base of his cock to cause the most delicious friction with each thrust on his cock as you chased your orgasm.
“Ye’ fuck em baby- shit- so fuckin tight- all mine right?” He breathed, mouthing over the bruises he’d left on your breasts a few nights ago. That was one thing about your job he had a bit of difficulty getting past, but you assured him you had no feelings for any clients and that you weren’t doing lap dances anymore only your stage set and otherwise you were just there to be more of a second house mom. But still, he was a man after all. He was possessive, a little jealous sometimes. So he loved to hear that you were only his during moments like this.
“Yes daddy- all yours. You own this- you own me” you kissed his hand before bringing it to your breast and then using his shoulders as leverage to bounce further up and down, the action causing his head to fall back and jaw to fall slack.
“Just like that - god- fuck - holy shit baby- shit-shit- y’fuckin close? How fuckin long has it been?” He pinched your nipple lightly, causing your pussy to clench around him and a pornstar like whine to leave your lips
“It’s been 15 minutes- Christ you’re like a teenager. Can’t even last 30 minutes?” You teased, leaning in and kissing his neck, biting and nibbling the skin as you circle your hips, essentially jutting the tip of his cock into your g spot and that floaty feeling sneaking up on you as you feel him shoot rope after rope of arousal, painting your pretty, gummy walls a milky white and his stomach muscles clenching at the overstimulation.
The grunts and moans that left his lips when you got him here were some of the hottest noises you’d ever heard a man make before, you were always sure to file them away in a special little folder in your brain for a rainy day he wasn’t able to get you off himself. “Feel good daddy?” You asked sweetly, sitting up and resting your hands on his hips so you could look down and watch as your mixed arousals gush out of you and around him, thick strings breaking with each slow, purposeful roll of your hips
“So fuckin good baby- Jesus gonna finish soon? Dunno how much more I can do” he said, voice breathy, blissed out, nearly whiny.
“Mmhmm few more minutes daddy- god we’re so pretty, I bet we taste so good mm?” You swipe the pad your forefinger over your clit, gathering the sweet and bitter white, making a show of rubbing it over the hardened bud of your nipple “feels good, too, wanna tell me how it tastes?” You leaned in and he nearly groaned as he took your breast in his mouth, crystal like eyes seeding into your own gaze as he flicked his tongue gratefully around the sensitive nub.
You whined hotly, the sight of your tit in his mouth mixed with the feeling of his pants huffing through his nose and fanning over the swollen flesh as his tongue swirled and licked and flicked and drove you over the edge. You cried out, hips stuttering as you rode out your orgasm. His hand found your heat, rubbing with scissored fingers over your clit and meeting around his cock before dragging his fingers back up to repeat the assault.
The action had you gushing around him, the contractions of your heat getting stronger causing him to groan into your skin and that vibration just added more stimulation. “Fuck yes- god daddy- always make me feel so good, no one understands how good we make eachother feel hm? Nothing else matters, baby, as long as you feel good, right?”
You pulled him in for a sloppy, hot, passionate kiss. A kiss that made his heart do flips, and his stomach flutter, and made him feel way lighter.
Richie thought to himself in that moment he may be falling in love again, and he was equal parts fucking terrified, and excited to see where things with you went.
He just had to get over ripping off the very last bandaid, and then you could really be together -
And that bandaid was Tiff.
@aestheticaltcow - @myszie - @wtfsteveharrington
#CapriCarmy Oneshot#the bear fic#the bear#borders & banners by saradika#the bear 🐻#the bear fandom#Richie The Bear#richie jerimovich x fem reader#richie jerimovich x you#richie jerimovich smut#richie jerimovich#richie jerimovich x reader#Richie Jerimovich x fem!reader#richie jerimovich imagine#Richie Jerimovich blurb#Richie Jerimovich drabble#Richie Jerimovich fanfiction#Richie Jerimovich the bear fanfiction
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things hibino kafka likes to say in bed (mdni)…
❀ "we can stop at any time, okay? it's never too late to change your mind, got it?"
❀ “you make me so hard, god, you're so sexy. what did i do to deserve you?"
❀ "can i play with your tits? i love how soft they are."
❀ *unintelligible tit-sucking gibberish*
❀ "b-baby, you don't need to do that, i'm more than happy just taking care of y- oh, shit your tongue feels so good...!"
❀ "oh my god, take it deeper please-! i love seeing you gag on it, please do that again..."
❀ "y-yess, good girl, my pretty girl, sucking my dick so well... fuck, i'm not gonna last, where do you want it?"
❀ "wait, lemme get you a tissue, you really don't have to swallow- oooh, okay that was hot, actually."
❀ "please, sit on my face, i promise i can take it... fuck, you can smother me for all i care, i need your pussy on my mouth now."
❀ "nonono, baby don't run away, i know it's a lot, but you can take it, i know you can."
❀ "c'mon baby, soak my face. grind on my fucking face until you come, just use me please."
❀ "that's it, that's it, such a good fucking girl, holy shit..."
❀ "heh, your legs are shaking babe, how 'bout you leave the rest to your trusty boyfriend?"
❀ "are you comfortable, baby? i'm glad, i'm really comfy too. i love feeling your legs around my hips..."
❀ "god, i'm so lucky, i love you so much, you look so gorgeous looking up at me..."
❀ "i'm gonna put it in, 'kay? i'll go slow, i promise... wanna make my baby feel good."
❀ "fuck, you always feel so tight... i'm not hurting you, am i? okay, good, good..."
❀ "g-gonna make love to my beautiful princess... please, moan for me, i need to hear how good i'm making you feel."
❀ *pant* *pant* "hold on, i need a second..." *wheeze* "pfft, zip it, i'm not twenty anymore-!"
❀ "can you rub that little clit for me? that's it, just the way you like it, keep going..."
❀ "god, i can feel you clenching on me... i'm so close. ooh, you're gonna make me come...!"
❀ "p-please, i need your lips, kiss me more..."
❀ "ohh, fuck, i'm coming! feels so good, i'm sorry, fuck, fuck...!"
❀ "shit... i'm so sorry, princess. wait, lemme make it up to you. gonna make you come on my fingers, yeah?"
❀ "that's it, lie back against me and spread those gorgeous legs wide. heh, i can feel my come oozing out. so dirty..."
❀ "you're close again, aren't you? hey, look at me... that's it, good girl. wanna look into your eyes when you come."
❀ "here, drink some water, i'm gonna go grab a towel." *smooch* "you did wonderful, princess."
❀ "remember to go pee, babe, then we can cuddle all you want."
❀ "you make me the luckiest guy on earth, did you know? i know i'm probably starting to sound like a broken record, but i love you, a lot. truly. thank you for being in my life."
taglist: @flametrashira @i-literally-cant-with-this @southside-otaku @delirious-donna @kazutora-kurokawa
#kaiju no. 8#kn8#kaiju no. 8 x reader#kaiju no. 8 fanfic#kn8 x reader#kn8 smut#kafka hibino x reader#kafka hibino#kafka hibino smut#kafka x reader#kafka smut
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helloo i’m freaking out
i just re-read “surprise! we’re making love” bc dah it’s a masterpiece and i’m obsessed w that fic and “a man with a plan”. (the way u write remus it’s just 🤌🏼FUCKING PERFECT ILYSM) and idk if i dreamt it or if there was a second part to that fic and pls if there was WERE IS IT I CANT FIND IT AND IM FREAKING OUT and if there wasn’t, im not gonna ask u to write one bc i don’t want to be annoying, but could u tell me how there story ends?☺️ i need to know they lived happily ever after in a beautiful cottage with lots of flowers and birds chirping
byeeee!! ilysm you are amazing hope u have a great week!!!💕💕💕💕
hahaha aweeee thank you, I'm so glad you loved it - I really like that fic too
and you must have dreamt it because there isn't a part two! I know how I want it to end but I don't think it would actually make an interesting or engaging fic (it would fall painfully flat in comparison to it's first part)
essentially, I imagine them talking more that night - reader saying to Remus "I'm engaged to be married....." and remus going "I know..............I'm a werewolf" and reader going "I know......"
turns out she was just as invested in him, she just hadn't realized it. but since being top of her class in astronomy (i.e., tracking moon cycles) and noticing peculiarities about Remus following such cycles, she managed to put two and two together.
they do sort of 'date' but it's quiet and soft and timid and maybe perhaps a bit awkward at first - Sirius is sort of against it and says something like "mate, you need to be careful - she comes from another world entirely, and they are not kind to their own let alone anyone else", which sort of pisses Remus off but he understands where he's coming from.
Remus plays a little bit of interference between Avery and reader while at school; showing up and sitting between them if Avery approaches her etc
now it's important to note that in this AU, I do have Voldemort BUT he's not the crazy fuck like he is in canon and it's not a war of sorts, but rather a political campaign and a lot of internal strife within the ministry
like canon, the purebloods/sacred 28 support riddle, with the exception of Crouch sr who agrees with pureblood supremacy but is running for Ministry of Magic himself
but my thought is that they get off the Hogwarts express at platform 9 3/4, Remus stands with his parents and Sirius and James with the Potters.
reader steps off the train with the Rosier twins, Regulus, and Barty and are chatting when the opposite half of the platform grows eerily quiet and readers name is called.
reader et al. look over to see readers parents standing with the Avery's and a very smug looking Avery jr., the Rosier's looking as severe as ever, and the Black's looking at Regulus expectantly.
Crouch sr shows up too, not standing with the other pureblood's but essentially on that side
and the group realizes they need to make a decision - the Rosier's don't feel like going back home to grey walls and apathetic parents who only had children to further their blood line and parade them around at balls, Regulus doesn't want to go back home without his brother to maniacal parents who use Regulus for political gain, and Junior doesn't want to return home to his abusive father who has never felt anything more than disdain for his son anyway.
and reader....well....she's not marrying Avery.
so the five of them shrink their bags, put their belongings into their pockets and they run
they head for the brick wall to cross into the muggle side of the station while dodging curses and hexes being thrown at them from their parents - an unforgivable from Crouch sr which actually finds him in Azkaban in the end
James, Sirius, and Remus find them all hiding in an alleyway in muggle London - the Potter's insist they come to their place, hire lawyers, sue their parents/are emancipated
and Remus ends up bringing reader home to Wales where they live in the Lupin's cottage and she's never been happier
lol
the end
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Boyfriend's Brother M.S. & C.S.
Bf!Chris x Gf!Fem!Reader x fwb!Matt
A/N: If you don't like the preadded name in my stories, you can either add your own name or not read it; it's up to you :)
Emmy's POV: His hands were all over my body making me feel safe and loved. His lips roamed all the places I wanted him to roam finding all of my sweet spots in need. I tugged on his messy brown hair not being able to contain myself from his touch.... i giggled at his cuteness finally sitting next to me on my bed cuddling me finally
Matt: jesus youre adorable
Emmy: you are too
Matt: whatever
Emmy: You have to go back home otherwise Chris is going to find out about this
Matt: fine leaving now
he says rolling off of her bed putting his clothes back on
How long has this been going on you may ask since the day we became best friends. there was this spark between me and Matt and it just happened so fast I couldn't see it coming or stop it from coming.. it just happened...
Matt: I will hopefully see you tomorrow night maybe princess
Emmy: we'll see Matthew
I replied after he leans over and gives me one last peck on the lips. He leaves to room as i stand up getting ready ironically enough I am supposed to be hanging out with Chris today.
Madi came back in the room, Madi was my roommate in our new apartment together
Madi: heyy
Emmy: hey how was Jacob's
I ask seeing she stayed over last night
Madi: great he is just amazing
she states plopping on my bed
Emmy: well thats good Madi
Madi: what about you? you and Chris good
Emmy: i mean kinda
Madi: ooo spill sista
Emmy: its totally nothing were fine
Madi: Emmm
Emmy: i just- i dont- got alot to figure out is all
Madi: Okay well i am here for you love
Emmy; I know
I state as Madi gets up and head back to her room
and it was true me and Chris are good
Emmy: oh hey i am leaving with the Chris in 10
Madi: okay have fun
Emmy; Thanks i will definitely try just that
i tease as she throws a pillow at me laughing. We posted a new roomie type instagram since we live together now
@itzemmy
itzemmy: look at my roomie <3
and I headed out the door
I met up with Chris and we were just walking around the mall hanging out like normal when well
Chris: i just dont feel like you feel the same way about me that i do for you
Emmy: What no i totally do Chris
Chris: yeah
Emmy: yeah i wouldnt be dating you if that wasnt the case silly
you say pushing him playfully as you guys walk through the mall
Emmy: we are back
I announced walking in the Sturniolo house, since I knew madi said she was hanging out here today, sitting on Chris' lap seeing Matt glance over in my direction
Madi; im going to go see Jacob so see ya losers
she sates walking out the door. i walk into chris' room sighing after Chris left to go run some last minute errands, hopping in the shower to wash off the day as i feel a presence behind me
Emmy: Matthew!
i whisper/yell
Matt: Pincess
he responds leaning in for a kiss
Emmy: no Matt we cant not now not ever
i say freaking out turning the water off and getting out and grabbing a towel wrapping it around my body walking into my room with him following
matt: why not Emmy
Emmy: Because i'm dating your brother thats why Matt
Matt: ...
Emmy: and we cant hurt him
i said on the verge of tears seeing i did really like him
Matt: your right
he says walking out the door closing it behind him.. i couldnt help but cry... as Madi walk in
Madi: I knew you would-... Emmy
Madi: whats going on love
she says as the she squat down next to me by the bed
Emmy: i-i like a boy i am not suppose to like
Madi: Chris..
Emmy: no... its...
Taglist
@adirtylittleheart @mintsturniolo
#sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo x you#sturniolo triplets x reader#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#chris x reader#christopher sturniolo#nick sturniolo
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Due to a series of unfortunate events (a cancellation of all direct flights for 2 days), im going to be spending between 90 minutes and three hours in IRELAND of all places. The REPUBLIC of Ireland. I was not expecting this on my american adventure.
I wont get to do any irish things but im flying both flights with Aer Lingus instead of British Airways.
Here is my review of Aer Lingus which is by extension my review of Ireland:
- Holy SHIT this airbus is half the size of the boeing i was going to take. I expected it to have insane turbulence like the KLM washing machines but honestly it's no different to the boeing
- it is nice to hear announcements made in a celtic language first again, even if it's Gaelic and not Cymraeg. I look forward to seeing the "Casnewydd/Newport" sign when i finally take the train home, it's the first symbol of being in Wales.
- We left early. EARLY. On one hand this is leagues above all my BA flights that have never left on time. On the other hand if it left just 60 seconds late, id have recieved a free change of transfer plane. Now i gotta hope we get there "early" enough for me to get through customs and find my next flight. Better prepare to run but theres not much i can do about this. I just hope British Airways dont force me to pay for a rebooked flight because they decided 60 minutes international transfer time was enough (hah!) and i dont have superhuman speed.
- Im sat by an emergency exit. This has funny side effects. I get sliiiightly more leg room, but also im sat by the exit and the door is way, way colder than any other wall in the plane. It's not bothersome but it's funny how i have a free Cooling Wall.
- Internet is about same price as BA and i can use discord (good) but i cant use youtube (very bad, you should probably only go for for the im service)
- The dinner was about the same quality as the British airways food, but they had TWO meat options instead of one. I took the Beef Stew. Very yummy. They had cheese and tomato on the side instead of the cursed tomato couscous yoghurt that looks like strawberry muesli which british airways keep serving (prison food). I also really liked the chocolate mousse, slightly easier to eat than the chocolate brownie i get with BA, but i find it weird aer lingus serve most of their drinks in tiny cartons. Why??? At least i get a tiny water bottle with BA, like a souvenir. Also theres a tinier bread roll and no cheese with it, but the cheese felt out of place anyway. Not as out of place as the tiny creamer pot i get on both airlines, with no coffee in sight. It's like a shot.
- you dont get any free alcohol on this flight, you have to pay for your 1 can can of lager. With a credit card. Mine was in the overhead locker. Thankfully a guy on my aisle was feeling generous and bought my can. Downgrade from BA including 2 alcoholic drinks in the flights
- instead of a nice pasty or bacon egg roll for breakfast they gave me a tiny carton of orange juice and a Nature Valley granola bar. Horrible
- the in flight entertainment is on a screen from 2009 instead of 1999. There is no funny controller that stops working randomly. It is a normal ass touch screen. Unfortunately i lost my provided earbuds at the start of the flight so i havent done anything with it
- no reclining chair on this airbus :( it's an overnight flight. My chair is missing an arm but i assume thats because it is by the emergency exit
- BA do this thing where they dim the lights and turn them back on an hour before arrival. Aer Lingus have decided to "dim" the lights by having these purple lights on, instead of turning them off.
More to come when i arrive at the airport
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PLEASE explain your thoughts on kriselle in full detail
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS 100% UNPROMPTED ASK! I SHALL EXPLAIN
i hate toby fox. why did he do this to us. he really put it better than anyone else. not really romantic not really platonic but…. something else… some secret more sinister more heartfelt more absurd third thing
i wonder at what point should i clarify that i dont even really seek out kriselle in a romantic context… DONT GET ME WRONG i have zero issues with the ship whatsoever and all of the krisellers out there are living their best (most painful) lives and i SEE THE APPEAL. BUT when i rotate them in my brain i dont need them to kiss or anything like that i just need them to sit down and sadly hold hands and stay like that forever and ever. in case you couldnt gauge that from my art so far
tldr i dont think i ship them in the traditional sense at least …. the things that i usually fixate on for any romantic ship are not there with these two. there are no romantic feelings there In my mind. and all at the same time i start screaming and throwing up and killing myself (all positive) whenever i see them even in the same image together. hngh
ive tried explaining this to people before and they usually suggest something along the lines of a QPR and even that doesnt feel right to me. truly the best way i can put it is… that red string of fate man… which i almost hesitate on saying too because i dont actually know if noelle is Quite an important enough character to the story to warrant a connection like that. WHICH IS A CRAZY THING TO SAY. I KNOW. DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT GETTING ME WRONG i think dess and her connections to gaster and her usage as a stepping stone into the weird route are all VERY important… but in my brain its just not kris/knight/asriel/every other mysterious main focus of the story Important. i didnt mean to get into deltarune theorizing here i hope nobody’s blood is boiling rn
so yeah in the end. toby fox once again put it best. they are friends, but they are also something else.
back to the actual pairing though… sometimes i think im going overboard and overestimating how close kris and noelle were as children because noelle will go and say things like “i wonder if we were ever really friends at all.” which is kind of a fair statement considering the circumstances. sure they played together and all and tagged along with their siblings to do stuff together but when dess went missing… it all kind of stopped. kris is just a kid, they dont know what to do or even how to process it, much like noelle. asriel is probably dealing with his own feelings, he just lost his friend and likely old enough to understand the weight of what happened. while noelle and kris cant say much to each other at all.
im always back and forth on speaking headcanons for kris but the one that i always seem to come back to is selective mutism… to me kris had a lot of trouble communicating well as a child and could only grow comfortable around certain people, asriel and noelle being clear examples because they’re both so patient with them. maybe because of this noelle felt like they could understand each other without really needing words, and just physical interaction was enough to achieve some form of closeness… or maybe that was all just on her end, she thinks when kris goes to play the piano. but if that’s the case, why does it feel like a concert just for her…?
jesus dont even get me start on them as teenagers either. noelle has lost her sister, and now kris has lost their brother… but not in the same way. they look at each other and wonder if they’re the same now. or, maybe thats too cruel. maybe its not the same thing at all. asriel’s coming back soon, after all. it will all be over soon, kris won’t have to feel this way for much longer, right? so then, why does kris look so miserable, sitting in the corner over there? all noelle feels like she can do is sit next to them quietly. to be there, and to somehow, vaguely, messily help each other. the misfit kids that dont really know how to talk to each other and yet understand each other regardless
thats why the dark world feels like such a dream to her. these crazy city lights, fantastical creatures, susie’s there, and she actually might have the means to defend herself and stand her ground, whether it be verbally or… otherwise
and most of all, much like with kris offering an adventurous haven to susie in ch1, the same is extended to noelle. by kris’s side, no less. it feels like theyre doing things together again, and its fun, and nostalgic… she wants to bring dess. and i think its okay to assume kris wants to bring asriel, too. recreating the make-believe world they lost so long ago… is it really possible?
no… how can it really be possible, when this isnt kris? something is wrong. its almost perfect, except kris… it’s them, but it’s not. she sees their face, their expressions, their laughs, their worries. and yet the voice that comes from them… isnt them. and it scares her! even if nothing particularly bad happened as a result. and if something bad DID happen, well…
she just wants what they had before back. is it really so impossible? can they reconcile after all these years? does kris want to? is kris capable of doing so? maybe they just need to hug again. will it feel like a real hug? the person she thought she understood is acting in ways she doesnt understand. they’re telling her to do weird things. they cycle through actions as if they just want to know what happens. and they cant even play piano anymore.
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that therapy piece was so beautiful:( what if you DID end up divorcing or at least separating, art does end up joining patrick and tashi in their weird whatever the fuck, and we’re like. yeah. thought so. but little do we know that he’s an actual mess that can’t even function, let alone fuck, when he does manage to get it up he bursts into tears before anyone can cum, and as sad tashi and patrick are for their boyfriend they also really need to have a decent orgasm without some guy crying in the background so they have to like…parent trap you back together
the angst of this is so beautiful hold awn...... cause art WOULD be someone who wouldn't realize what an important force in his life you are until you're gone. in my mind, you and him knew eachother since you were kids. didn't start dating till a little before college and then you just..... stayed together. no breakups. hardly any fights. Its not like any love was lost between you two but, there was this kind of lack of...... well, fire. tashi and patrick lit apart of him up inside, and what you refuse to acknowledge is they kinda did the same for you two. you both kinda orbited around patrick and tashi in college, and similarly they orbited back around you. you just couldn't see your importance there - so you extracted yourself from that patricktashi part of your life to devote yourself to art, while he stayed in their lives because he cant live without the kind of passion they ignite in him. the anger, the jealousy, the excitement.
with you gone though its like...... hes floundering. you're so soft, is the thing. arts always depended on your softness. you dont hurt him. you dont make him angry. you're warm and gentle and he can rest his head on your lap and fall asleep like a baby fawn in the middle of the woods with no fear a wolf will come along and rip him apart. in a bad way, you're safe. in a toxic way, being with you is him choosing to not take a leap with patrick or tashi and feel anything uncomfortable.
but in a good way, you're his best friend. in a healthy way, you're his anchor. his north star. and usually thats seen as a bad thing, he knows, love is supposed to be passionate and scary but what about when he wants to be held and just at peace? you've seen him through everything and you stayed. he knows he can put his heart in your hands and you wont crush it. and he loves you for it. you're the most tender, beautiful thing that's ever happened to him.
so its like. those two needs. the fire and the passion and the softness and tranquility. and where art has messed up is seeing them in two different ways. he cant put all his scary, passionate emotions onto you in fear of rejection and ruining what you have. he cant depend on patrick or tashi completely either because he doesn't trust them with his heart like he does with you.
hes left you alone in that sense. because you need the passion too. you needed it from him for so long and maybe your part of the blame is never asking for it. for cutting tashi and patrick out of your life because you were too scared of it at the time. but the longer you spent with art, the more you craved it. the fights, the breakups, the makeup sex. all of that.
so when you leave arts comfort is gone. he thinks, well maybe its for the best. i can take a risk now, i can try this thing with tashi - and even patrick. but it doesn't feel right. the leap doesn't feel good. and he realizes its because it was a leap he was always meant to take with you, together.
all these things patrick and tashi do - he should've done with you. he should've fought with you when you pissed him off. he should've tried to be more sexually adventurous. when tashi kisses him all he can think about is how you should be here. he should've asked why you stopped talking to them - he should've pushed you - he should've - he should've - he should've -
he spends nights at their house because he cant stand being alone in the house you shared. in the empty fucking bed. he'll end up pulling one of your sweaters from the closet you forgot to take with you that still smells like you, vanilla and cashmere, and cry into it like a pathetic slob. hes miserable. he wants you back.
he wants you back so he can love you better. he wants to see you kiss tashi, kiss patrick, see you allow yourself to be consumed. and then he wants you to come to him and sink into his arms and onto his cock and look into his eyes and tell him you love him, so he can moan the words back into your mouth.
but he can't. because you left him.
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I hate elaborating myself
I hate having to explain my feelings;
Why I'm feeling them;
Then why they're valid;
Then why Person should care about that;
Then why I don't deserve to have them disrespected and disconsiderated!
I hate that I always have to do that
And that I suck at articulating myself, so I can't tell any of these things from above and end up upset and angry and stressed and--
UGHHHHHHHHHH
#I LOVE communication#of all kinds#but i suck at it#i suck#and i can't elaborate or articulate myself#im pretty good at explaining things like my personal interests#or then some interesting subject#but i really CANT when it comes to my feelings#i can't explain my happyness#my upsetness#my stress#my fear#my difficulties#my sadness#NEVER#and it sucks i have to do it often to have my feelings considered#i hate my brother y'know#i won't say what happened today because i don't want to elaborate it#but he always acts like he deserves more than me#or like his feelings are more valid than mine#idk if it is because he was raised a cis boy#while im afab#or what#but it really hurts me#and i know he is wrong#BUT I MISS THE ABILITY OF EXPLAINING IT TO HIS BIGGOT ASS#vent#feelings#communication#upset
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The way Azirphale is underestimated and practically infantalized by heaven is so closely tied to his femininity and I think we should talk about it more because I just want to shout about how relatable the way he's treated in his workplace is as a woman working in a traditionally male field
It's in all the little niggling comments from your boss about personal things that hold no bearing on your work
and the assumption that what you're doing must be simple if it was assigned to you
your work is trivialized
and you get these the placating smiles when you're told plans and proposals are rejected and passed over
or when your complaints are dismissed
and you get more of the same from upper management
it all feels so frustrating and draining but you're at work so all you can do is take a breathe put on that mask and move on with your day
It is all so deteimental to your emotional well being and textually, so much of this is tied to Aziraphale's softness, his gayness - his femininity
The thing about working in an environment and gives you this feeling - of being simultaneously destrought watching your belief in yourself get chipped away but also just so irate becuase you know you don't deserve it - is how it builds. It sinks under your skin and feeds into this indignant dejection until you can have a moment of release - but Azirphale doesn't get to bitch about it over drinks with friends, he doesn't get a lunch break where he can go for a walk and listen to an angry scandi death metal playlist, he doesn't even get the chance to cry about it in the bathroom for 5 minutes before confronting it again
(And I talked a little bit about it in the tags of this beautiful photoset but this all comes into play whenever Crowley dismisses his plans or calls him an idiot. These are purely emotional reactions; I really don't think Crowley means much by it - he respects Aziraphale's opinion and genuinely thinks he's brilliant - but Crowley is so quick to use this terminology when Aziraphale is making a decision Crowley thinks is wrong and he doesn't know how much this hurts Aziraphale. Just like Aziraphale doesn't understand the true impact the Fall had on Crowley, Crowley doesn't understand the ways heaven has been tearing away at Aziraphale's self worth)
Aziraphale has been facing this constant drip of denigration since before the beginning of time and has never released the pressure valve. At this point, he's a bomb waiting to go off
#(I want to note that I am coming at this from my personal experience as a woman#but I know femme neurodivergent and disabled folks of all genders face these same issues)#along similar lines I have tons of feelings about how often Aziraphale hides his hands when talking to other angels#to hide his stimming#and look I try not to tie everything back to explaning why Aziraphale ended s2 the way he did but apparently I can't#its just the juiciest character moment to me#also thinking about how angry Crowley was at Gabriel when he was treated like this once#granted shut up and die already IS the worst thing Gabriel has said to Aziraphale but if Crowley knew how much of this was going on...#aziraphale#good omens#go2 spoilers#good omens meta#Thanks to folks who responded to my tags on that post because you really motivated me to find these screen caps#and finish this post which has been sitting in my drafts for ages#also sorry so many of gabriels faces are funny I cant help that jon hamm is comedy gold - i refuse to let it undermine my point
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this is somewhat of a vent post & something i said i would not do again but has been plaguing me enough that i think getting it out might feel better. so. has anydoggy else been. Baffled and upset by nora sakavic’s refusal to speak on how terribly aftg has treated its characters of color? with the author of the series coming back with a new book and starting up on her online activity again, and questions of what she’d change about aftg bubbling up, it’s particularly glaring to me that we are all playing this very long game of pretend where we ignore how badly the non-white cast has been treated & her lack of thoughts on it
and i understand not wanting to bring up nicky and thea because people pick on her for it. i’m not trying to discredit nora sakavic’s terrible history of getting harrassed online by aftg fans. but i think it is very cynical, and it is very juvenile, and most of all very cruel, that she gets to ignore the very real ways the books have set up these characters to be hated. i think it’s obvious why the characters who get the most hate are the only canonical characters of color, and i think we do not get to treat this like a deliberate decision on the fandom’s part when the books have put these same characters in degrading and embarrassing and terrible positions in the first place. aftg is not a story about nice characters with clean pasts, but there is a very specific nastiness to the only characters of color being a brown man who sexually harasses and later assaults the main character, a black woman whose only scene is her lashing out at her love interest after being ignored for the first two books, and the japanese villain who gets maybe two lines of complexity before he goes back to being a terrible person. the white cast, in comparison, while not at all free from flaws, are never shown to commit mindless evil; all of their actions are ultimately justified. the book goes out of its way to give them concession after concession. we know exactly who to side with, because aftg tells us who these people are. does nicky’s assault ever get addressed in the books? does riko’s reasoning to be the way that he is ever gets more than briefly aluded to? is thea reserved even a shred of humanity or grace in her one scene?
anyway. it’s been years of talking about this and the fandom has been constantly hostile to criticism in this regard, and more recently any criticism at all, and it’s Grating to be on the other side of this discussion. it’s exhausting to know that in ten years we do not get even an acknowledgment besides the author saying she will not answer questions about nicky and thea anymore. it’s upsetting and it’s ugly and i wish no one had to talk about this again, but we do because what i thought was common sense has been washed away by a sudden influx of no-nuance adoration for the trilogy. basically i hope we all explode
two hours later edit: you're allowed to reblog this! sorry about the confusion
#this has been so upsetting to notice but 🥹whatever#there is a different kind of bitterness to thinking about how ten years have passed#and we are getting new content that changes and maybe even rectifies many of the ways we see and interact w aftg#and none of it not a bit of it addresses the racism#how it’s been ten years and the only thing we really get to show it is a book about a ship between two white men the fandom came up with#after seeing them be Suggested to interact in canon#i understand not wanting to hurt nora sakavics feelings by asking her about this#but imagine how tired we are. Imagine how tired we are#do you know how bad it feels to read through nicky’s worst moments in aftg#and know that he was written this way because he looks like me?#do you understand how exhausting it all is. can you imagine?#the fandom has been so quick to undo the criticism fans of colors have been making since day one#and for what. for what! my doves. for what?#have we come out of it any greater? have we done anything but lie to ourselves?#and anyway this is not some mindless pessimism#this is not me telling you that aftg is bad and you cant love it; cant have it mean anything to you#this is me saying that when we acknowledge these things it makes us better readers and better people#nora sakavic if you are reading this from whatever hellhole america you find yourself in#grabs you by the shoulders. This is not the end#this is not something to sit back and feel bad about#you have opened the floodgates of hell with tsc. kick the door in and release a revised version of aftg#there is a real material way for you to make this better. it is possible and it will not kill you#i would read a revised aftg. my mutuals would. many many many many fans would#making mistakes is not just a human right its a human inevitability#but we do not have to let ourselves get defined by them. We can do hard things#lets go of nora sakavics shoulders. anyway. where were we#aftg#txt#tsc
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Could you explain your position on Shallura? Since Allura was established as a teenager when she started dating Lance and Shiro was very clearly an adult. I can understand the bi shiro headcannon but the shallura thing worries me
i am going to remind yall that i have been in this fandom since 2016. and in the early seasons, allura was not established as a teenager. in fact she was coded as older, as closer to shiro's age -- there was a specific divide between her and the younger paladins that she did not have with shiro. they made her younger (both explicitly and in mannerisms) as the show went on. and i do not give a fuck about voltron like...post s4 and i didn't even watch s7-8. so like. especially with older fics, im going to enjoy shallura.
#also this is less relevant and i was going to put it in the main post but i cant find the words for it#but i found your last sentence kind of condescending. “the shallura thing worries me” as if i am your little project and things arent going#to plan. as if you are the Knower Of All Things and i am straying from my path lol. twas odd#and this is a controversial thing to say i know it but like#we take fandom way too seriously. if someone decides in fic to make two characters the same age to ship them or whatever. do we really need#to get the torches and pitchforks. like i can understand discomfort when people ship like shiro and pidge or something but. also. i feel#like you can just block and move on?? like i dont ship sheith bc they are brothers. to me. but also i dont think sheithers should be#harassed or any dumb shit like that. i think its so so whatever like theyre Lines man theyre moving lines#at the same time i understand that peoples headcanons can be reflective of their worldviews (like when racism/transphobia/sexism shine#through someone's headcanons/characterization) but how much scrutiny is too much? when do we get to remember that fandom is a place to#work with the FICTIONAL? where you can change details without consequence? i saw a fic where keith was the older sibling and shiro was the#younger once. it was a good fic. how come we can play with ages but only when the Fandom Council approves?#i guess this is a really long and clumsy way to say like. you do not own the fandom nor do you get to dictate my work. and while there#is always room for necessary criticism please also think critically before you post your criticism#anyways#rant#ask
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