#but i look queer enough that well intentioned people will they/them me and even though they’re not doing anything wrong it’s frustrating | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rouge-the-bat · 9 months

Text

i really do wonder what ppl who tout the "non-men loving non-men" definition of lesbian think about multigender people. do they EVER consider us? even a tiny bit? bc it certainly doesnt feel like it. it feels like any one of these situations:

they already dont think being multigender is a thing, and say shit like "you can only be a man, a woman, or nonbinary, not all of the above."

they quite literally dont think about how multigender people would work in relation to sexuality. they may claim to support us, but they dont pay attention to or care about the fact our gender identity ISNT just an isolated thing that has no affect or connection to anything else about us.

they look at my gender (genderfluid between woman, man, and many forms of nonbinary, more oftentimes a mix), and say oh well youre PARTIALLY a man in some way so that means you cant be a lesbian! so, basically my man-ness just "taints" me and negates the fact that im also a woman and nonbinary? what about the days where my genderfluidity contains no bit of man at all? can i only be a lesbian SOMETIMES?

they yell about non-men all they want, but see my gender and go, "oh not YOU though :) i mean people who are ONLY a man!" and not realize how that is 1. them not saying at all what they mean in their definition if still SOME men are okay and 2. extremely comes across as misgendering and that they dont see me as Actually a man if im not mono-gendered, regardless of their intention. if you are going to categorize people as "men or non-men" and try to fit me in only one or the other, you are misgendering me no matter what. non-men is not the same thing as non-mono-gendered-men.

and all of this also makes me wonder: what would these people think if they saw me in person, holding hands with my girlfriend?

for context: transmeds would 100% consider me a faker not only bc im genderfluid, use any pronouns (esp neos), and am without dysphoria (for gender anyways), but because theyd think im just cis. im afab with no hormone changes or surgery, nor do i want any (my ideal genitals being a dick or barbie-doll-smooth aside, since i dont care enough to do surgery about it, and any of my other gender ideals would require shapeshifting), i like my big boobs, AND im femme. my fat even adds to my curves. most people would probably read me as only a girl and not think twice about it, esp if im dressing up as femme as i like being at the time.

so, if these people shouting "non-men loving non-men" at those like me all the time ended up seeing me irl, what would they think? would they see im extremely femme and read as a girl while holding hands with my girlfriend (who isnt femme but still is easily read as a girl) and think oh yeah, thats a lesbian right there? because a huge part of me says that they absolutely would have no issue with it

who knows if anyone who swears up and down by the "non-men loving non-men" definition will actually read this, but i REALLY wish more people would actually hear out multigender folks and see how definitions like this are incompatible with us. think about how our identity doesnt exist in a vacuum. realize that plenty of us ARE lesbians no matter what anyone else says, and we do not abide to your """inclusive""" definition that actually doesnt consider our existence at all.

or at least realize identity labels dont have a one-size-fits-all definition in the vastness of queer experiences, that people are going to have definitions for things that are different from yours, and you dont hold the One True Right Definition. realize that definitions are not rules that are placed upon words, theyre explanations for how these words are being used across the world, through time, and vary from person, place, and time. definitions are fluid, not static, and many words have multiple definitions.

#lesbian #multigender #genderfluid #lesboy #genderfluid lesbian #multigender lesbian

262 notes · View notes

queer-reader-07 · 7 months

Text

few things bother me more than people saying that it’s “dumb” or “intentional ignoring” or “impossible” to have interpreted crowley and aziraphale’s relationship platonically.

and look i could go on about all the things that do point to romance but enough people have done that so i’m gonna defend myself here and explain why i read them as platonic for so long and why i think it’s perfectly reasonable to have read them platonically.

and a disclaimer that all of this is from my perspective and my opinion. so if i make a statement as though it’s matter of fact, know that i’m speaking from my perspective and just can’t be bothered to preface every sentence with “in my opinion…”

and it mostly boils down to one thing: their love reflected the love me and my friends have for each other.

so no shit i interpreted them platonically because they looked like my real life platonic relationships!!

i’ve talked at length about how i think there’s a specificity to the way queer people love. i think there’s something special about the way queer people show love, especially platonic love.

here’s the thing. i’ve been mistaken as my best friend of 16 years’ girlfriend more than once. i’ve been mistaken as one of my other best friend’s partner so many times her friends were genuinely shocked when she got a boyfriend because they thought she was dating me.

i understand the whole “being so platonically in love that people think you’re also fucking” situation. i unironically live that situation on the regular. so naturally i assumed that’s what was happening with aziraphale and crowley.

my thought process was basically this

1) they love like i love (specifically, crowley loves like i love). therefore, they’re platonically in love.

2) weird, everyone on the internet is convinced they’re dating. something something everyone values romantic love over platonic love

3) well whatever they’re still platonic in my heart

and it stayed like that quite literally until i watched episode 6 of season 2. and you can tell me i was being oblivious all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that i genuinely believed they were platonic. queer platonic? sure. but definitely not romantic.

i saw all the witty quips and banter between the two of them and didn’t read any sexual or romantic tension, i read friendship. i saw aziraphale damsel in distress-ing himself on the regular so crowley could save him and thought “well it’s the only way he can spend time with crowley. checks out”. and i saw the bandstand breakup and the burning bookshop and “you told my only friend to shut his mouth and die and i did. not. care. for it.” and aziraphale so desperately trying to shield crowley from the horrors of the world and obviously i saw love. a love that is deep and profound, yes. it just never read romantic to me because i would do and say all of those things for and to my friends.

one of the few things i will never cease to find joy in is my friendships. i will ALWAYS love loving the people close to me, i will ALWAYS support them, and most importantly, i ALWAYS want to protect them. even when i know what is going to happen is inevitable, i don’t want to see them hurt. i want to shield them from the cataclysmic experience of the human condition and only have to experience in the moments of joy that await them. i don’t want to see the people i love hurt or in pain or jaded by how fucked up the world is.

because i already am those things. i am jaded by the world, i’m constant falling into the pit of cynical despair that the state of the world can manage to throw you down. and i know how fucking hard it is to pull yourself out of that place, to find hope and move forward and allow yourself to even enjoy the love and support you do have in life.

and the last thing i ever want is for the people i love dearly to experience those things.

so yeah. i related hard fucking core to crowley and the way he loves aziraphale SO. FUCKING. DEEPLY. and of course i read it platonically because it’s platonic for me. so deeply platonic in the best way.

and i could go on about how a lot of this stems from how much i value platonic love. how much i don’t adhere to social norms of love and how people express love. i will loudly proclaim my love for my friends, because i love them. i’m in love with them. but that doesn’t mean i want to date them or kiss them. and that makes perfect sense to me, and if it doesn’t make sense to you. well then, idk what to tell you.

this is longer than i intended but my point is that it hurts seeing people who act like those of us who did genuinely read aziracrow as platonic the first go around are stupid or that we chose to ignore the romance.

because, to me at least, it always felt like people were calling the way i love stupid or that i’m actually ignoring my “real” feelings

#nobody go into the notes and tell me i’m projecting onto media too much THATS LITERALLY THE POINT #it is natural and normal and expected that you read and consume media through the lens of your own lived experience #so this is good omens through my lived experience #and if yours is different that is amazing for you #but it doesn’t discredit mine #anyways i’m probably being more defensive than i need to be but i don’t care #this has been sitting in my drafts for weeks because i was too scared to post it but it is out in the public now #good omens #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens 2 #ineffable wives #good omens meta #meta #gomens #gomens meta #platonic love

56 notes · View notes

i-heart-hxh · 1 year

Text

I see people posting things like, "Why are some people obsessed with proving your ship is canon? Who even wants their ships to be canon, it's more fun when it's not?"

I get where people are coming from with this sentiment--it is fun to have your own headcanons, your own control of how you're interpreting the characters, not being reliant on what canon gives you, etc. I'm very much in favor of people doing whatever they want in fanworks, canon be damned! Ship what you want, go wild, ignore canon altogether if you want!

But with HxH and especially Gon and Killua, it IS important to me how essentially canon it is for a number of reasons. One of these is that the bond between them is one of the main emotional cores of the series, and to reduce it down to "Haha no homo! They're just bros! If you see it in ways other than that you're delusional!" is a disservice to what Togashi is writing--and it's essentially willfully misreading the source material.

Obviously, no one is obligated to ship it themselves, no one is obligated to like seeing it in a romantic light, but it irks me when people pick apart all the incredible nuance and beautiful details in HxH, all the rich subtext and meaning, and then pretend that the very present subtext and romantic framing between Gon and Killua isn't there at all. Especially as throughout the years I continue to learn more about Togashi and look even more deeply into HxH and it becomes increasingly more and more crystal clear how intentional it seems, how much of this is thoughtfully put in there for people to pick up on.

There's so much shounen out there that puts on a veneer of gayness--essentially giving the audience just enough vaguely gay things for the female audience (as well as gay audience, etc.) to latch on to for marketing/merchandise reasons, while mostly pushing het ships in the canon material officially. (And I'm not saying in all cases it's like that, but I do think that's the trend specifically with shounen series.) With Togashi, it very much seems like he creates it out of his own genuine personal interest and because that's the story he wants to tell--the kind of story he's wanted to tell for a long time and can get away with now because of changing social norms and the fact that he's already incredibly popular and he owns HxH outright.

And as someone who loves Togashi's storytelling--all of it, not just the gay parts, of course--I care about what he's trying to create and intending to convey and it bothers me to see people outright denying it out of their own biases. I feel like people who deny it's there or refuse to see it in that way at all are missing a big chunk of the series, an important and intentional part of the series. (And this extends to other parts of the series that are queer, too, like Alluka for instance. There's so much in HxH that is queer in some way! Denying it all is there is ridiculous!)

And again, it doesn't mean people have to ship it, everyone is allowed to see what's there and ultimately choose to see it in a platonic way if they want, it's more when I see outright denial that this is the author's intent when all signs point to it being so that bothers me.

I think part of this is people just being casual viewers/readers of the series (though some of it is pretty blatant IMHO) and not being aware of all the Deep Lore that points to it being way more than in your average shounen, but a LOT of it is simply homophobia. It's frustrating being in a fandom for years where there are a bunch of people who go about picking apart all the nen powers and the beauty of Chimera Ant Arc in exhaustive detail and then utterly and completely deny that there are sound, well-documented reasons why a large part of the fandom sees it as a gay/queer work.

So hopefully this explains some of why I bother to argue the canon aspect at all, and why I think it matters to a lot of people specifically in HxH fandom.

#hxh #hunter x hunter #killugon #gonkillu #killua #gon #yoshihiro togashi #meta #I guess #this is just a random rant that I typed up quickly so please don't expect it to be comprehensive or well worded hahaha #gonna post it before I start overthinking and never post anything #my posts

143 notes · View notes

ignitesthestxrs · 9 months

Text

assassin's apprentice by robin hobb (review? thoughts?? experience???)

Sometimes you read a book and are reminded of all the reasons you loved a genre when you were a teenager.

I love an unfolding - a book that is character-focused, but considers a character's place in the world to be a part of that. We learn about the world we're in, the magic and the social structure and the political situation, from the way these things relate to Fitz, and the way Fitz relates to them.

Magic (the Wit) is tucked naturally into the narrative voice, because to Fitz, it is natural - like thinking, like breathing. Any terms he uses relating to it (repelling, questing) are presented like they're terms he came up with himself, rather than a Magic System or Special Abilities - not that I don't also love a magic system, but it can be grating at times, to be asked to memorise the rules of a game before you get to play. Hobb plants Fitz firmly in the middle of his own experience, and the reader there with him.

Any additional information is provided by the voice of an older Fitz, writing the openings of each chapter with both the knowledge of hindsight, and the withholding of that knowledge. We get enough detail to elaborate, without infodumping. The world is allowed to be bigger than young Fitz's experience of it, while still being firmly rooted in the character. The reader grows as Fitz does, and there are enough hooks of interest - Fitz's parentage, the introduction of new characters and new dilemmas, the steadily growing threat that is being a royal bastard - that I'm inclined to let the book take its time winding through the plot. The point is Fitz - we're interested in what's happening, because it's happening to him.

Reading a book written in the 90s in 2023 is a weird kind of time-travel. We can put the book in the context of its contemporaries, and we also have a lot more information about the series (serieses?) that contain it, and the perspective of the author. Was the queer reading of the Wit as slap-in-the-face obvious in 1995 as it is today? I was 3 years old, I couldn't say. Reading it now, it seems obvious, even intentional - but that same Additional Context means that we also have the authorial protests to the contrary. I came to the series curious about this disparity between author and audience - having seen enough excerpts from the books (this one and later entries in the series) to slowly drive me insane (as an outsider!), it was clear that fandom was picking up on some kind of vibe from the text, but also, fandom is fandom. We love a ship.

The thing that struck me about this first book is that the queer reading exists outside of the Fitz/Fool dynamic. I'm aware that this dynamic uh, intensifies in later books, but in this first entry in the series, the queerness comes directly from Fitz alone. A young boy who connects with the world in a way he can't articulate to other people, who gets clocked by someone who knows what his Difference looks like, whose foundational experience with even this small-circle outing is traumatic and horrifying and is not made any less so by the fact that it was done out of an urge to 'protect' him. His Difference, textually, on the page, makes him less of a man, is comparable to bestiality.

Beyond all of that, the thing I found most resonant is the obvious love between Fitz and Burrich, his guardian-figure who wants him to suppress his affinity for the Wit. This particular heartbreak is a familiar queer experience, and the book doesn't pull its punches - again and again and again, Fitz seeks welcome, comfort, safety, acceptance from Burrich, even after (he believes) having unspeakable violence inflicted upon him as a direct result of his 'otherness'. Burrich is clearly shown to love, care for, and protect Fitz - but he cannot get over his fear and disgust of the Wit. He loves Fitz in spite of, not as well as, this difference. There are distinct moments in the book where it seems as though Burrich might be able to see things from Fitz's experience, might be ready to accept Fitz as he is - but he can't.

This experience of being loved as though your difference is something distinct from your person, like it can be excised from you and set aside, is one of the quiet devastations of being queer. The 'hate the sin not the sinner' version of tolerance, articulated via fantasy metaphor. Burrich is horrified to realise that Fitz thought he was capable of killing an animal because of his disgust, only understanding after many years that the kind of fear and digust he has exhibited towards the Wit is personal, does exist on the same level of abject hatred and rejection as murder. And even then, he can't move past it. He stares the consequences of his bigotry in the face, understands that it has made his ward fear him, understands that the lens he has viewed their relationship through all these many years has been clouded, understands that he made a monster of himself in Fitz's eyes, and he still can't change.

I don't think queer readings have to be blessed or even acknowledged by the author, and I don't think they even have to exist in the text for us to take the characters and themes out and play around with them. But there does exist this sweet spot of interpretation where the reading is there. Situations where Death of the Author slides neatly into play, where you take a story and wrap it around yourself and declare 'this one's for me, actually', and it simply doesn't matter what the intent was, because the text is there.

The book is not like, Gay Representation (TM), and I don't think it's something that should get credit or applause for its queer reading. But I also don't think queer readings are about credit or applause. My queer reading is based on me, as a queer person, reading queerness into the text of a work, of encountering art that resonates with my own queer experience. The book builds on this reading, supports it, threads it into the worldbuilding and the plot and the character relationships. Fitz's experience with the Wit is meaningful and fleshed out and a part of who he is, and the resonance with a queer experience improves the experience of the book without leaving me feeling baited, or pandered to, or kind of hollow.

Obviously I don't think this is an experience that everyone can or should have when encountering the book, but for me, it fucking hit. I'm glad I did this book to myself, am looking forward to throwing myself into a 16 book hole.

#the farseer trilogy #han reads #book recs #rote #rote spoilers #realm of the elderlings

35 notes · View notes

merp-blerp · 4 months

Text

I know I'll sound kooky for saying this, but I suspect that Barbie & the Diamond Castle was queer-coded on purpose. I mean this so seriously. There were probably hundreds of people working on this movie. You're telling me none of them were queer? So many queer people have worked for Mattel. Maybe a person (or people) working on this film wanted to make a queer Barbie movie as a form of self-expression or what have you, but couldn't explicitly do so because it was 2008 and that would've been seen as inappropriate for a family film (still could be seen that way 🙄). So they got as close as they could with Diamond Castle.

Just the essence of this film is so sapphic. Alexa and Liana live alone together, away from whatever town might be nearby. They see nothing more important than their relationship with one another and Liana says that Alexa "knows me better than anyone else in the entire universe" (it's almost like no one else in this medieval world could know Liana that well, maybe because she's gay and the only person who could safely know that is Alexa) and "I feel like a part of me is gone" after they fight and she believes their relationship might be over.

They get what looks like male "love interests" on the surface, but they don't actually behave like couples. The girls butt-heads with them a lot as if it'll be an enemies-to-lovers type of romance like Annika and Aidan from Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus, but it never really becomes romantic. They don't even imply a happily ever after with the twins (whatever their names were, no one cares), they go back home together without them in their lives, at least not majorly. I think the fact that they don't have male love interests is the crux of this whole theory. The boys' existence is enough for kids and even adults watching to believe there's a straight romance in this film, especially if you've seen other Barbie films and know the formula, but there isn't. The movie just has male characters who take interest in the girls in a completely one-sided infatuation, heteronormativity does the rest when it comes to the audience thinking there's a romance with the boys.

Alexa and Liana's relationship is the most important aspect of the movie; the entire story is about their relationship, not their relationship with the boys at all, which separates Barbie & the Diamond Castle from other Barbie movies from this time, which all had hetero-romances in one way or another. This is probably why so many sapphic kids who grew up with it, like myself, loved it so much.

All these factors together just make me wonder if the queerness was intentional on someone's part.

Even if you bypass the queer interpretation, it's really refreshing to have a story that's about female friendship and that's it. No forced or unforced romance, just a story about girls and their friendship(s). There's no issue with romance, but also there's no issue with a lack of romance as well. That kind of message is hard to come by, even in more "adult" media.

(As a bit of a sidebar, the only queer aspect to this film that is surely coincidental to me is Alexa and Liana's dresses looking like the lesbian and bi pride flags. Liana's dresses do share a color scheme with the Emily Gwen lesbian flag, but that particular lesbian flag wasn't in existence till 2018, ten years after this movie was released. By association, I assume Alexa's dresses having the colors of the bi flag is also a coincidence, even though that flag was created in 1998 before this film. It is very cute how that turned out, though.)

#what else is there to do on a saturday afternoon besides write a tumblr essay on an old barbie movie? have a life? no way!#i wanted their lives so much as a kid gee i wonder why?#barbie and the diamond castle #barbie #lesbian #lesbians #bisexual #sapphic #queer coding #mattel

7 notes · View notes

popstart · 2 months

Note

Yeah you know what i'll send G1 for sexuality and gender HCs. why not

Alejandro: Ive never sat down and thought about this but bisexual seems correct.

Beth: I think ive always operated under the assumption shes lesbian lol. brady is SUCH a comphet boyfriend

Bridgette: I have a hard time seeing her as anything but straight I cant even lie? like i love wlw bridgette ships but not in a way that I wouldn't be unsurprised if they were canonically shut down lmfao 😭😭😭I really like the lesbian bridgette hc I just cannot get behind it in a way that aligns me with actually thinking bridgette would be a lesbian

Cody: I have no opinions on what I think his sexuality is but I cannot get behind relationships between him and girls

Courtney: LESBIAN. but i do like seeing other hcs for her. I see cases for her being bi, I see cases for her being straight. shrug emoji. I do really like duncney as a ship though which throws some wrenches in that hc just a little bit lmfao

Dj: I operate in a world where Dj is a lesbian even though I dont think i seriously think that. Its just how it goes

Duncan: i have a hard time seeing him as anything other than straight. like. im sorry this guy would be so homophobic. he would use the word gay as an insult. However, i do like aleduncan. so take of that as you will (its funny and makes me laugh) he has gay friends though omg🙄🙄🙄🙄

Eva: LESBIAN. yes its stereotypical. no i dont care. shes such a dyke

Ezekiel: straight??????? idk. this isnt even a "hes sexist so he would be other flavors of bigoted" I just dont live in a universe that I think ezekiel could be queer

Geoff: bisexual except i dont think he would label it. he thinks its normal for everyone to be a little attracted to the same gender. my friend that has only seen a little bit of total drama also likes him being a trans man which i mostly find funny but i could see lmao.

Gwen: lesbiannn. I really like the hc shes a trans girl as well, or nonbinary. im fine with either of those. regardless she is not cishet in any fashion. i genuinely think she is very very lesbian coded aligned because the way she behaves with men in the show is just???? so strange? i dont think it was intentional from the producers though which has me hesitant to mark it as actually "coded". Also i so seriously believe she was one sided crushing on courtney in all stars. why is she so weird. like im not a big gwourtneyer but wanting to impress a girl that bad teeters into "theres no straight explanation for this" territory

Harold: idk. trans in some direction. last year I remember seeing one of those your fave is posts and it was transbian harold and i remember laughing so hard bc i wasnt in the fandom at the time I had no idea someone would hc harold of all people as transbian.

Heather: trans girl lesbian though im less heavy on her being trans I just like it symbolically. saw someone forever ago say t4t gweather and I liked it a lot. her bald era was such an interesting look into her mind bc that is straight up gender dysphoria. I dislike aleheather bc i hc her as just so so lesbian.

Izzy: nonbinary unlabeled. she dgaf about labels so hard so im not gonna try to break it down either.

Justin: hes always given me gay man energy

Katie + Sadie: I love them as lesbian but i prefer them staying just friends (though im fine with the ship.)

Leshawna: Ive never thought about it. i think she plays a straight bff role very easily but she could be bi or lesbian

Lindsay: I prefer her as lesbian but I also like lyler in a way that has me thinking she could be bi. unlabeled maybe but lesbian aligned. dunno, I guess it could depend on the universe lol.

Owen: bisexual. ik this isnt "canon" but its canon enough to me.

Noah: Seeing people argue over this has me not giving a shit at all. bisexual i guess. i dont care

Sierra: i LOVE lesbian sierra. hill i'll die on is that shes a lesbian that made up a guy to crush on to try and appear normal since she has no friends in school.

Trent: i have quite literally 0 opinions on trent that are based on canon. hes a straight man

Tyler: straight to me i cant lie, but i like transfem lesbian tyler its cuteness

#ask #idk how hot some of these takes are just know i give 0 shits about if other peoples hcs are different to mine #and i dont sit down and think of characters as straight its just kinda the first place my mind goes to

3 notes · View notes

mirandahamilton · 1 year

Note

what were your thoughts on seven kings must die?

LOADED ass question lol

controversial mayhaps but i liked it well enough! in the sense that i was entertained, and i did get some satisfaction from my viewing experience.

positives:

i really loved the updated intro/credits!

finan's narration was a cool change

the acting! it was all hitting for me :) i think harry especially did a great job, imo he had the most character work to do and i really felt his conflict (maybe this is gay bias but idc). the new actress for eadgifu did a really good job as well, her character was consistent and i enjoyed her interactions with uhtred

the action sequences were very well done and i loved the battle

sets, costumes, hair/makeup...all looked great!!

the ending! loved the callback, and although i wish we'd seen more charcaters in valhalla ik most of the actors weren't available so it's cool. really enjoyed the ambiguity. althoooooough unlike most ppl i don't think uhtred went to valhalla at the end (would love to chat/debate on this one)

uhtred getting stabbed at the final battle....lowkey i was emotional esp when sihtric and finan found him and he was serving cunt dead

aethelflaed shoutout :( miss my wife and i think they did the female characters so dirty but i would have turned it off if they went to aegelesburg without even namedropping the queen

i really enjoyed osbert & edmund being besties (BUT their stories should have been more developed)

i go into my critique below lol but i won't apologize for unironically vibing with the catholic guilt evil homosexual drama. in many ways it hit for me and i shan't be issuing an apology

i loooooooved the new locations, especially the shetland islands

problematizing the christians 🙏

negatives:

WHERE the abject fuck were any of the women characters???????? STIORRA? hild? aelfwynn? aelswith?? eadith???????? like??? not even a shoutout????? make it make sense. this was the most offensive thing for me and i won't be getting over it anytime soon thanks

i wish we'd heard something about cynlaef and aelfwynn!!! wasn't he like besties with aethelstan?? would have been so easy to make it work smh

pacing :/ it was impossible to tell how the story was meant to be moving through a concrete sense of time. a quick look at the wikipedia for king aethelstan shows that there were years between his coronation and the battle of brunanburh, yet the movie makes it seem like from beginning to end the story takes less than a year? and it's also unclear how much time has supposedly past since the end of s5. it started off pretty slow, but regardless i was admittedly engrossed by the halfway mark

sloppy evil gay drama :/// like in some ways. listen. i am not complaining lol. but i think it would have worked much better with more breathing room. ingilmundr was just so clearly intro'd as a villain, and i would have preferred seeing some more subtlety and cunning over a period of time, plus some actual internal conflict for him. by his last line ("i grew fond of you, but my love for my people prevailed") it seems as though he did have some genuine affection for aethelstan, and even though he completed his mission in the end i wish there'd been more depth there.

also, fwiw and as other people have said, unhinged to go 5 seasons with no queer characters only to haphazardly throw a couple in the follow up film...and have them be villains!!! gay people CAN be villainous lmao but idk how intentional they were being about any of this

overall just felt rushed. there were a lot of parts that would have benefited from some breathing room and dramatic build up. plus we didn't get to connect with a lot of the characters, and the writers were relying on viewers to care based on the tv series -- mostly fine for our mains like uhtred & co, but a real disservice to the newer characters. even finan and sihtric didn't do much besides follow uhtred around, which is par for the course but i wish they'd had individual arcs. ingrith's death didn't hit that hard bc she barely had lines. aelfweard's too, and he needed to be built up as more of a threat (even tho his death is mainly supposed to serve as a character moment for aethelstan).

hollow villains! i wrote abt ingilmundr above, but anlaf and astrid were so 1 dimensional. and the writers could have tried a little harder lbr. and let astrid SPEAK

ALDHELM. ok. his death was such a waste. james did an incredible job, but it felt so meaningless. oooh ah uhtred was upset. but he was upset already? and it didn't make him turn his back on aethelstan????? so tell me quickly what did we accomplish

aethelstan's redemption....i feel like he went from being a villain to back to besties with the squad in 2 seconds and i think it should have been fleshed out more. like i'm fine with them reuniting and i was rooting for it but i think we could have gotten more of aethelstan realizing his mistakes and showing remorse, and demonstrating that he has changed -- uhtred will probably always have his back, but besides Realizing Things he didn't really do anything to show that he has grown and prove that he's different and better than edward -- this was an issue throughout the movie, but it stands out the most with him since his actions drive most of the plot

no offense but where tf did uhtred get his little army from

#more will probably occur to me later but these were my main takeaways #fwiw i did like it!! very critical of things i love lol #glad we got one last entry even if we all agree it should have been a season #and there were a lot of elements that could have been executed better #ask #anonymous #tlk #tlk spoilers #seven kings must die

21 notes · View notes

insertlatestfictionalcrushhere · 2 years

Text

I'll see your heart, and raise you two

Pairing: Sevika x reader

Warnings: gambling? Suggestive ending…

Summary: You meet Sev at the last drop and play a game of cards with her. You’re noticeably good and this leads to more and more games between you two. One night, you run into each other randomly in Zaun and play a game that leads to more than a little cash…

A/N: DAMN it took me long enough to get the final part out. Sorry it took forever y'all. But I had fun writing and am glad that I could put this one to rest finally. Enjoyyy <3

Also I included the links to part 1 and 2 below but Idk how to properly include links LOL so idk how it looks to you but if it says "ya local queer whoring druid" thats my bio and idk why tumblr decided this is the correct -_-

Part 1:

Part 2:

--♡---♡---♡---♡---♡---♡---♡---♡---♡---♡---

The next few days passed quicky and you hoped that your consistent visits to the Last Drop weren’t seen as desperate. Unluckily to you though, Sevika hadn’t made an appearance, leaving you to be teased by Zeke for ‘waiting like a puppy’ as he so put it.

You couldn’t stop yourself from wondering if you had pushed it too far and she found you to be annoying. Or perhaps you tapped her fragile ego a little too hard and now she was staying away because she didn’t want to lose again. What a loser, right? No that couldn’t be it. Maybe she was just busy. What if she has a girlfriend?

Zeke snapped his fingers, trying to pull you from your thoughts. You shook your head and scrunched your nose in anticipation of more jokes.

“You must be really hooked to be waiting so patiently. Was she that good?” he spoke, wriggling his eyebrows as he dried glasses.

“Better. She played exactly like a pro, and yet” you paused, tilting your head playfully, “..she lost.”

Zeke through his head back and laughed, returning back to your section of the bar. “Practically unheard of, no wonder you keep coming back here. You wanna do it again” You shrugged and pushed your glass towards him. “well word on the street is that she’s been out doing ‘business’ dealings for Silco and hasn’t had the time to stop in. Supposedly tonight, she’ll be here. Boss pulled out the good bottles of whiskey.”

Electricity shot through your body at the thought of another rousing game with Sevika. You thanked Zeke and traveled to the table, making yourself comfortable in the spot you previously occupied a few nights ago. Stirring your drink, you casually perused the crowd in hopes of seeing her. And as luck would have it, a few minutes later, she was seen walking your direction, the people naturally parting to make room as she passed them. You smiled and teasingly waved when she finally saw you already seated at her table.

“You want me that bad huh?” she greeted, motioning to a waiter to bring her the usual. You laughed and retorted “It’s hard to find that kind of satisfaction around here. Most don’t even make it 5 minutes”

She laughed back, taking the time to get comfortable and light her cigarette. The air wasn’t as thick or filled with tension and instead, was replaced with a new kind of warmth. The witty and flirtatious banter continued on as the cards were shuffled and dealt. It didn’t take long for both of you to sink into the game and focus intently on beating the other.

Another win on your behalf, had her stunned once more. Perhaps, you winning wasn’t just a fluke then. She was quick to reshuffle and deal, curiosity and a competitive energy rising in her. Some attempted to step in and play but a simple gruff look sent them fleeing. Her eyes didn’t leave you and you could feel her scanning every inch. Such behavior would normally demolish any focus you might’ve held and you felt the twinge of heat rush to your cheeks but the alluring idea of beating her was too powerful.

Eyebrows furrowed and several empty bottles of whiskey now sat towards the edge of the table. Your whole body was slumped comfortably in the chair, the confidence fully risen in your head. You smugly peeked above your cards at Sevika, who’s eyes stared right back at yours, her demeanor far less inviting. She made her final move, her eagerness to win all too apparent. You almost felt bad, your streak far longer than either of you expected. You smirked at her as you placed your final card, ending the game in your favor.

“Dammit!”

You jumped as she slammed her cards on the table, her frustration evident. Silence struck the club as your grip on your cards tightened cautiously eying her next move. You watched as she rubbed her hand against her forehead and through her hair. Sneaky glances at the loss of her usual calm demeanor caught the corner of your eye. You turned to glare at the heads that had turned, attempting to keep from drawing too much attention.

Without a further word, Sevika threw back the last inch of whiskey in her cup and stood up. You searched her face for that same playful smile or the hint of some flirty comment, but instead, were met with her cold shoulder as she turned towards the exit. Too stunned by her sudden outburst, you remained in your seat, hands cold as they limply held your last hand of cards.

Heads turned back to personal business, the noise level increasing back to normal. Unable to make sense of the events, you did your best to gather the cards and place them in a pile. You gathered the cups and empty bottles and headed towards the bar. Zeke swung by and gently grabbed the bottles, offering an apologetic smile.

You diverted your gaze to the dirty cups, wishing they would magically refill. “My fault. I kept winning and got far too smug about it.”

He pried the cups from your hands, placing them in the sink. “You played her fairly just as she did with everyone else, you just happened to be exceptional. Don’t feel bad, she acted irrationally.”

****

That night replayed in your mind and despite all your might, it didn’t stop. You obsessively questioned if you could have done something different to prevent that outcome but this only led to the inevitable answer that the past could not be undone. Why did it bother you? Cause you thoroughly enjoyed playing against her. No, really, why do you wish things had gone differently? Be honest with yourself. This wasn’t just some card game…

You wanted her.

“Your mind’s been in the gutter lately y/n. It’s getting out of hand and you need to fix it or I can’t have you working here anymore.”

That’s right, you got pulled out of rotation to get reprimanded. Realization hit that you had zoned out once again. You forced your eyes to meet your superior, playing up the guilty look on your face. The anger on his face should have hit harder and perhaps would’ve if this happened a week ago, but you found that like anything else lately, it simply rolled off your shoulders like rainwater.

You apologized profusely, begging to be given another chance as this was your only source of income. A small white lie of having to support some relatives and whatnot helped to win him over. Upon finishing his lecture, you thanked him and ran back to finish the day. Busy work – that’s what you concluded was necessary in order to shake off the night of the incident.

As the day finished, a few coworkers approached you, there arms beaten and bruised like yours; a hazardous yet common part of the trade. “Yo, y/n! We saw you get wrecked by big boss. What happened?”

You shook your head lightly “Agh, he was getting on me for not focusing much lately.”

“Ha! What a hard-ass, am I right? Don’t stress it, he doesn't know what he’s talking about.”

You offered a grateful smile, appreciative of their attempts to comfort you.

“Listen, the day beat the shit out of us so we were thinkin to hit the Last Drop. You down?”

The offer triggered your anxiety, the immediate thought of having to face Sevika flaring like a red alarm in your mind. You slowly took a shaky breath, and declined their offer. A queasy feeling settled in your stomach; you knew that you were running from a problem. What’s the harm in going into hiding forever? Keep your nose out of business, work hard, and thank the universe you even woke up each day. That was your current motto and you were sticking to it.

The walk home to your little brick apartment proved to be overwhelming and before you knew it, the light of the local liquor and goods shop washed upon your face. You cocked your head to the side, questioning if this was really the right choice to make. You still had work the following day, and given your already skewed reputation, you really did need to try your best and make a good choice for once.

Unfortunately, panic roared through you when you heard a familiar laugh bounce of the walls of the street you were on. It sounded scarily real as if she was nearby. You rubbed your arms “Oi, I really need a drink if I can imagine her laugh that accurately.” You hastily dashed inside the store in hopes the feeling would melt away. Ignoring the curious stares from a few other shoppers, you picked what you wanted, paid the store owner, and dipped.

The bottle sat nestled in your arms, offering a small amount of comfort in knowing it might help to ease your nerves. You clenched the bottle a little tighter as if it were a stuffed teddy, there to hug you back and calm your fears. Alas, it was cut short by the same familiar laughter ringing through your ears.

You immediately turned to find the source, a sense of déjà vu settling inside you. Much to your protest, your feet began moving before you could convince yourself otherwise. The smell of burnt ashes graced your nose before your eyes spotted the very person you had sworn to avoid.

Sitting casually at a shabby table on a few stacked crates was the very phantom of Zaun herself. She was in her natural habitat, a cigarette dangling off her plush lips while making absolute losers out of the man before her. He swore up and down, throwing cards down and nervously tapping his foot as if it would signal the fates to change the turn of luck in his favor. She laughed callously and boldly threw another card down, sending the poor man flying off his chair in anger. You watched as she calmly scraped the winnings towards her in response to his string of curses.

Your fingers brushed up and down against the bottle pressed tightly to your chest. The past week had been miserable and you couldn’t stand the thought of continuing into ambiguity, only to be remembered as that person that managed to anger Sevika in a club one night. The conscious in your mind raised its voice in hopes you would listen for once and not give into the alluring pull of Sevika and all that she presented.

Dashing back into the shadow just out of reach from the street lights, you ripped the top off the bottle of liquor and brought the opening to your mouth, letting the sweet liquid drain straight down your throat. The warm trail it left in your chest was a welcome feeling and you awaited the confidence that would soon silence the doubt you held in your mind. Turning back towards Sevika, you began walking; she was maybe only a few feet away and yet the distance seemed to draw on forever.

When she noticed you approaching, your heart stopped its continuous rapid rhythm and you swore you could feel each heart valve shrivel up and disconnect. The man who was previously unleashing a string of curses, turned to see what had caught Sevika’s attention. You cautiously eyed him, expecting that he might have a few choice words for you as well despite you having done nothing to him.

By this point, the liquor had done what you beckoned it to and the rush of confidence swirled throughout your mind and body, sticking the small, self-conscious you into a cage to be locked up tight and stowed away. You walked closer to the man and offered ‘solace’ to his losers rage “You thought that was bad, I would’ve bled you dry.”

The man’s mouth fell agape at your sudden savage comment, his hands balled up in fists but his body remained still. You couldn’t stop the smug smile that grew on your face, reeling in the stunned look on the man’s face. Registering your words, he moved to most likely try and make an example of you for so calmly insulting him. His motions didn’t make it far before a metallic arm grabbed hold, stopping him in his tracks.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave before I make you the street art people piss on.”

The man slowly peeked at Sevika, as if asking her how true the statement was. The grimace on her face said it all, and before more was exchanged, the man yanked his arm away and headed opposite from you. You watched as he walked away, ready to smile smugly again should he glance behind him. Admittedly, you were glad that Sevika had been there to stop the man as you were in no shape to really take on anyone at this moment.

“You gonna keep staring? I have a lot more to offer than he does, trust me.”

Her words hooked your attention and snapped you back to reality or at least close to it. You analyzed how in control you were post drowning drinking almost an entire bottle of liquor at once; the results came back negatively as you struggled to steadily walk towards the table. Amused by your lack of coherency, Sevika poured 2 cups of tequila and calmly pushed one your way.

You stared at the glass, contemplating the consequences of adding to your already inebriated system. “Fuck it all” you figured and threw the entire thing back. You looked Sevika squarely in the face and swallowed “I hope I didn’t offend you with all my winning the other night. Fact of the matter is, I really enjoyed playing against you and would be willing to overlook the incident and learn you a thing or two.”

The slur was ever so apparent and Sevika found the whole thing quite hilarious rather than rude. It hadn’t quite hit fully but you could’ve sworn that Sevika herself wasn’t entirely in control either, her right hand struggling to find the cigarette dangling off her lips. Not long after you, she followed suite and threw back her entire cup as well. “You teach me a thing or two in card playing, and I’ll show you a few tricks of my own...”

You might’ve been too drunk to notice the double meaning in her words and moved to grab the deck and begin shuffling. A brief look of surprise flashed across her face at you not quite understanding the weight of her words. Nonetheless, you both settled in your seats and geared up for another solid game of cards.

The sound of cards flicking against others, the light tap of glasses being picked up and placed back down, casual glances passed back and forth; you were both in the zone, focused on only each other and the game sat between you. You wished to close the gap but this idea sat firmly in the back seat as strategy did it’s best to control the game.

While the liquor hadn’t proved an obstacle before, it now proved to be your biggest. Your quality of play began to decline as the cards in your hands blended and blurred together. “shit shit shit. Come on y/n, you cannot break now.”

Sevika smirked, her eyes barely catching the slight twitch in your face as you over analyzed your cards. The smooth pattern of play that she had grown accustomed to when playing against you had become ragged, your turns taking longer and longer. She was just as wasted as you but a long history of shaping Zaun was paired with learning to handle her alcohol.

The rotation landed back on you and with more of that ‘solid’ drunken confidence, you slapped your card down and raised your arms in triumph. You turned the entire filter in your head off, and proceeded to lean over the table, your hands displacing the pile of cards, as you crept closer to Sevika. You reached out and gently tapped her as you spoke “I. Win. Again.” Landing on her nose with a small boop.

Unfazed, she merely tilted her head slightly and cocked an eyebrow. The smile on your face began to sink as you racked your brain on why she looked as smug as she did. She reached down to the cards she was still holding in her hand, and pulled one out. You looked down, pondering why she was still attempting to play when you so very clearly won.

In what felt like slow motion, she leaned towards you, her face inching closer and closer. “MAYDAY! MAYDAY!” your brain blazed in alarm. You couldn’t stop all the feelings that crashed around inside, your cheeks burning bright red in result. Was this it? Was it finally happening? Your breathing noticeably deeper and slowed, you prepared for the distance to close fully. Awaiting the fullness of her lips to greet yours, you remained still.

“No, I win.”

You looked down at the pile, eyes reaching the card she had placed. “But…” you muttered.

“You thought you one by playing that but I guess that your one fault is your inability to handle liquor. So I counteracted and ended the game forreal.”

With that she leaned back against the wall and relit her cigarette. You practically witnessed her ego grow tenfold. Too stunned to speak, you did your best to settle the heat that had risen in various areas and make sense of what had just transpired. How could you have missed that? Or made such an oblivious move? Was the liquor that strong? You began to sift through the pile, which might’ve been a little less than good sportsman ship, but her leaving the club the other night made it even. That’s what you told yourself anyway.

Everything else had grayed away and you didn’t realize just how zoned in you were when you felt a hand lift your chin and force your eyes to leave the now messy pile on the table. Your eyes connected with Sevika’s and it dawned that the hand that lifted you was in fact hers. Your brain wasn’t quite firing off on all cylinders right now.

“Just accept that I won. You could be spending your time doing much better things.” She purred, the bass in her voice gently caressing your ears.

You couldn’t help yourself in this current position, and let your eyes fall from her eyes to her lips. It felt as if time stopped completely and right now, it was just you and her. You looked back up to her eyes and whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

“Then claim your prize.”

#arcane #sevika #sevika arcane #sevika is my wife #sevika x reader #arcane lol #arcane x reader #arcane fanfic #piltovers finest #lol arcane #sevika brainrot #sevika x y/n

100 notes · View notes

whoreviewswho · 3 months

Text

Wokeness, Responsibility and if RTD is problematic - Introduction

Is Russell T Davies a problematic figure? Is he too woke or not aware enough? Is he doing something wrong to illicit negative responses from the progressives as well as the conservatives? Is it something in the programme, something in the marketing or is he doing nothing particularly bad at all? Well, perhaps you and I, faithful reader, can come to some sort of conclusion. Let's find out together as we take a dive into the controversial choices behind RTD2 and the mind of the man behind them.

There is an extremely telling moment in issue 599 of Doctor Who Magazine in their feature on The Giggle, specifically the climax. On page 18, the magazine printed some conversation between Benjamin Cook, Ncuti Gatwa and Russell T Davies (RTD) which you can read below;

"When you wished for it," Russell asks [Ncuti] now, "there wasn't a part of you thinking, but there's no point, it's not going to happen, because I'm black?" "Never," says Ncuti. "I love that," says Russell. "Because here I am, as a 59-year-old white man, assuming that would weigh heavily on your mind." "Yeah, no, completely," says Ncuti. "When it was announced and everyone was saying, 'He's the first black Doctor!' - that was insane. Slowly I was like, '... ohh." "Yes, it's hard to know what to do with that."

I find this to be a very revealing exchange and an invaluable insight into RTD's mind. RTD thinks. He thinks a lot. It is very clear not only that he thinks a lot and is very conscious of his decisions and responsibilities as a showrunner but also that he wants us to know that. And, you know what, perhaps he is a little too conscious. Perhaps RTD thinks too much.

But of course RTD thinks. He is a writer and a storyteller. He is, in fact, a very good storyteller and, in order to be so, one has to be continuing to engage with new art, meet new people and be connected to the world around them. This is not conjecture, this is how art works; it is a expression and representation of how the artist relates, reflects and responds to the world around them. RTD is a wickedly intelligent, queer man and you need look no further than his own work to see how passionate he has always been about depicting a diverse range of characters and stories that are firmly rooted in the political and social climate of his day. In fact, he explicitly said as much himself in a December 2023 interview for Rolling Stone;

"From my point of view, whatever I make on television, I try to embrace queerness and queer politics and that’s like breathing to me because that’s my world. That’s how I live.”

At the time I am writing (two months away from season one's debuting), RTD's second stint as show runner of Doctor Who, RTD2, as it has come to be known, has proven to be as divisive for longterm fans as his initial tenure, if not more so. No surprises there, of course, but what was unforeseen however, at least by me, was the vocal backlash from the progressive crowd.

Perhaps it shouldn't have been though. After all, we are talking about a sixty year old white cis man. As well researched and intentioned as he may be, the scope of his experiences will inevitably reach their limits regarding gender, sexuality and cultural backgrounds. Even ethically, to hold somebody of quite a different generation to the exact same standards as your own, a significantly younger or potentially older audience member, is a pretty dubious and flawed thing to put into practice.

Still, backlash from the progressives might also have been foreseen if we took more than half a glance at his original time on the show. The quality and impact of representation in 2000s Doctor Who was certainly varied, and something worth discussing in more depth in some other entry. That does not make it any less significant that it was Russell who spearheaded the first openly queer companion, its first black supporting character and then first black companion as well as the oldest leading lady to date. And these things were not simply acts of ticking boxes. Jack Harkness, Mickey Smith, Martha Jones and Donna Noble were strong, fully-realised characters who were regularly recurring across almost five years of television. One of them even led a TV show of his own for half a decade. Combine that with more than a handful of overtly political storylines across the episodes that he produced and you have a revived Doctor Who that is quickly established as one of the most progressive television programmes of its kind in the 2000s.

But mistakes were made, particularly regarding racial background. YouTuber Princess Weekes has made a particularly articulate video outlining RTD's pitfalls in representing black communities in Doctor Who a couple of months ago and I strongly encourage you to go and check that out. This article is not about the 2000s though. This is about the present day and the world surrounding RTD as he re-entered the role of showrunner in 2021. So, in order to contextualise that, let us tackle that frustratingly large elephant in the room; let's briefly discuss how Doctor Who became too woke.

This will be a very short discussion because, of course, this didn't happen. Yet, somehow, this narrative, that Doctor Who has become more occupied with pushing its progressive political agendas than telling compelling stories, is a bizarre claim that has been looming over the series for far too long now. It is a line of thinking that I first remember hearing around 2016 with the announcement of Bill Potts as the first openly lesbian companion. Y'know, because having an openly lesbian character must surely mean the Moff was out of ideas. But it really seemed to become a thorn in the fandom's side in the year following when Jodie Whittaker's casting was revealed. Together with Chris Chibnall's casting of two people-of-colour in his main cast and hiring the most diverse writers the show has ever seen to tell stories that reflect their varied life experiences and backgrounds CLEARLY indicated the show was on a downward spiral. The writing was on the wall*.

Okay, so, let's break this down for a second because obviously Doctor Who of the past seven years has not been too woke. But, even if that were the case, what does that even mean? Well, let's be blunt here, this is a form of cultural appropriation. The usage of 'woke' as a slang term for being attentive to social issues originated in African American Vernacular English. As Marriam-Webster defines it;

"In [African-American Vernacular English], awake is often rendered as woke, as in, 'I was sleeping, but now I’m woke'".

In the mid-2010s, "stay woke" became a watch word in the black community eventually becoming entwined in the BLM movement. The term has since been co-opted by conservatives, in another harmful display of white aggression, as an insulting short-hand for people and works that challenge their comfortably ignorant view of the world in really any way at all.

TLDR; to level the accusation of a television programme being "too aware of social and political injustices", especially a show with as long a history in of engaging with those sorts of ideas as Doctor Who, as if it were some kind of negative is one of the most laughable criticisms that the show has ever seen.

It is actually even more laughable when you consider that one could take less than half a glance at Chibnall's version of the show and realise that it was, in fact, doing remarkably little actual engagement with contemporary social and political issues at all. Hell, 10.96 million people tuned into the first episode of his run to learn that for themselves. But this article is not about Chris Chibnall either. This is about Russell T Davies. The man who walked into the office while Chris Chibnall was still in the job and was revealed as such before Chibnall's final season, the Flux storyline, had even gone to air. As nasty a move this was from BBC, seemingly attempting to sabotage their own show, they knew how big of a deal this was. This is Russell T Davies ! The OG showrunner !! The guy who turned a dead cult TV show into an enormous national, and eventual, international franchise !!! This will be 2008, all over again !!!! RTD was going to save Doctor Who !!!!! Praise be to Russell T !!!!!!

Of course, this did not happen.

It was a pretty dumb call from the conservative crowd to claim RTD was going to swoop in and be their champion. There was truly no reason at all to suspect that he would come back to Doctor Who and not bring his established brand of mindful, inclusive and socially charged writing to the programme. After all, in the years since writing regularly for Doctor Who, Davies produced works like Years and Years and It's a Sin, two incredibly thoughtful though quite different series, the former being a speculative work of science-fiction envisioning the next fifteen years of human history through the eyes of a single family and the latter an intimate and tragic retrospective on the UK AIDS crisis. For a certain crowd of people, this was actually the most appealing aspect of RTD's return. The man was going off the heels of some of his most acclaimed work of all-time, works that spoke to harsh realities of the world we live in and told compelling stories of any number of diverse characters. And, for some people, this was somehow a red flag.

There are longtime fans of a certain generation who have been vocal of RTD's flaws as a social-justice champion from day one. Diamanda Hagan is one such person who comes to mind. I have a great deal of respect for her and her opinions which are often much more articulate and interesting to engage with than my own. If you are unfamiliar, I encourage you seek her out. For the purposes of this article, there are two recent(ish) tweets of hers that I will be citing and the first is as follows;

"[In reference to the polarised reception to The Church on Ruby Road] I continue to be amused by people watching RTD being RTD, now disliking it and thinking that RTD or his work is the one that changed." - December 26, 2023

I would like to use this quote to springboard into a more in-depth discussion of RTD's choices onscreen (strap in, everybody 'cause this'll be more than one post) but, before I do, allow me to note that I find myself only half-agreeing with Hagan's assertion here. Onscreen, Davies' work is distinctly his own. His style has evolved, certainly, insofar as his language and the presentation but the overall package, the flavour and spirit of RTD Who, is much the same as it was from 2005-2010.

But I would insist that something has changed and that something is what Davies is saying behind the scenes and in promo material because, and this is a crucial point, regardless of how 'woke' RTD2 actually is, and we will get into it, he certainly wants you to think that it is. I do not think that this is an out of arrogance or some kind of saviour complex. I don't believe that RTD is sitting at home rubbing his hands and thinking 'hehehe look how progressive everybody thinks I am". No, I think that Russell is drawing attention to how progressive the show is in the media because he genuinely believes in making socially conscious choices and their impact and consequences. He wants audiences to be talking about disability and race and queerness and class and acceptance and bigotry. RTD is asking us to talk about the topics highlighted in his productions.

So, let's do that then....

To be continued in part one; The Regeneration Question and Davros with Legs

*The fact that Chris Chibnall's version of Doctor Who was ultimately lacking in compelling storytelling for most audiences is extremely unfortunate but obviously unrelated to his diverse cast and crew.

4 notes · View notes

morpheussons · 4 months

Text

Nora and me

Trigger warning: sexual content, drugs

Nora is a peasant disguised as a genius princess. We met some months ago in a club, waiting in line next to the toilets for, well, you know, not the toilet and ended up in the same cubicle. We didn't leave each others' side for 48h. She looked ravishing and hotter than a Thai super chile.

I think I can generalize the way Nora's body is shaped and apply it to her personality. There has to be a correlation between character and body shape. Everything about her is focused, sharp, pointy, directional, intentional and loaded with energy. The same goes for the shape of her anus, otherwise it would be impossible to explain the sheer force of her farts. She could fart so vehemently that you felt the sofa trembling sitting next to her. Once, at a home party, she sat on the kitchen table, sipping a mixture of alcohol and some unidentified liquids, obviously drunk, and farted so powerful through her glittery dress that the MDMA, carefully presented on the mirror, scattered all over the table surface. The gays went crazy. Keep her ass away from the drugs. I mean, literally.

Also, her intelligence, movements, jokes, her drunk gaze and semi-articulated speech pinch the atmosphere as an embroidery of filth and decadence. She's in fashion of course, earning shitloads of money by judging young designers and models while floating in the rush of drugs and low self-esteem. Because although she looks fabulous and hip, in an unguarded moment you can see the depths of self-loathing and despair in her eyes. She embodies and owns it, wears them as a sad trophy, a weakness leveled up to an admirable feature.

According to Nora, the eyes tell everything: they luxuriate, they shine, they "profoundalize" and deepen like rubies, they make the outfit shine and not vice versa, and will move the attention to the places that matter most. When you treat your eyes like jewels, the crowd looks where you are looking, your eyes will suck their attention and everyone will succumb to the radiating power. Being looked at is being seduced, it’s Nora acknowledging the worth of you existing. There is so much in her gaze and people want to be part of all that, be part of the world she’s looking at, part of her attention and life. There's no diamond that can compete with Nora's finely-honed eyes, and no money can buy the little time she takes interest in you.

Nora and me are a bad combo, we ignite the worst parts of each other, two drinks of alcohol and combustion happens in our brains, spilling indecencies like pouring champagne over a tower of crystal glasses. Once the lid is off, we sparkle vigorously. In an instant, everyone is affected. It’s a bush wildfire, everyone turns flammable by our contagious energy and the madness spreads like chlamydia in a circuit gay afterparty. Things happen there, and me loosing my glasses at an orgy is the least worrisome. Since I moved to the capital, this is my 5th pair. I really have bad eyesight, so the moments my judgement was impaired by blurry human bodies, I sucked too many questionable dicks attached to even more questionable body parts. I frequently asked her not to bring her dealer home. Last time we ended up sucking his dick in the bathroom and it was terrible. After that little adventure I had to talk to my team of therapists, main conclusion: it's not me, it's my trauma. That's a broad concept though, am I referring also to that time the police broke my front door because I'm queer, or to my precious childhood memory of my dad jerking off on my little brother's face and made me watch? But enough about me.

I don't know when she sleeps or if she even dares to. Her brains processing her lifestyle every night must be like Sisyphus rolling 3 rocks at the same time, considering the amount of drama and intrigue she collects on her way to the next shoot in Paris or Rome. I love her deeply and I cast myself as the safe haven in her escapades, not that there's much left of safety once the drugs kick in and my mind goes berserk. She has a same ‘me’-person in every city she roams, from Sarajevo to Shanghai, and I truly feel them gays, tumbling around in her slipstream while she passes through their lives as an intoxicated fighter jet.

The best talk we ever had was under a living room table at 4 a.m., trying to recover the dropped bag of 3MMC by sniffing it off the floor, between the crumbles of garlic bread and Tuscany olives. "I miss my dad", she said, staring at the purple high heels, tapping the floor nervously just in front of us. I don't want to know how that triggered the memory of her father, but her voice was sincere and raw. I wiped away some white powder and crumbles from under my nose and asked where he was right now. “He's dead”, she said. “Somewhere in a mass grave in Serbia, I don't know”. “Ok”, I mumbled, “that's a mood killer”. Normally that would cheer her up, but the way this hurt animal lifted her head from the floor and looked at me, nope, not this time. ‘So rude', she said. 'You're shit and you know it' and she pushed me but fell on her side while trying and bumped her head to the table leg. “You fucker”. That was it, really. Nothing more. Or I don't remember anymore. She then rolled over to the sofa, climbing it while violently pushing away two guys making out. I sat there for 10 more minutes, trying to make sense of her dead father and how she became this person, before making my way through the dance floor towards the toilet. On hands and knees, meanwhile being petted, sat on, hit, pushed and stomped. When I finally reached the toilet, I stared into the dark water and blacked out.

I woke up under the sofa some 18h later, and Nora was already on a mission to Amsterdam. I only received some nonsensical text messages later that evening, meaning she was probably doing ok.

#gay writer #gay story #sleeping guys

2 notes · View notes

ina-nis · 1 year

Text

None of the books I read, none of the articles I found talked about the intersections of loneliness and queerness (more specifically transness, and even more specifically genderlessness), or the intersections of loneliness and chronic illnesses (like fatigue and pain).

When they do talk something about queerness, it’s as if it was endemic to the status of being out as queer: of course you’ll feel lonely and alienated from the majority, so the very simple solution is to find other queer people.

Queer people are all different though. Even if the idea is to have an united front, the reality is that it’s very much not like that. If you don’t follow the culture and the customs, you fall behind and end up ostracized too. If you don’t fit (as ironic as that sounds), you have no space or voice. In an ideal world, everything would work out wonderfully, but what ends up happening is that when you get a bunch of marginalized people together they will bond over similar experiences and if you don’t have similar experiences, you won’t bond at all, among other things.

Disabled spaces tend to be welcoming but it’s depressing that loneliness and isolation seem to be part of the “norm” - and it’s no wonder, really. Living with a chronic condition (be it mental or physical) can be very isolating.

When you mix and match these, and any other strings of marginalization, it ends up being too big of a burden. It’s understandable that AvPD has so much room and fuel to grow. How do you connect when you queerness feel alien even amidst queer people? How do you connect when you are out of social spaces due to chronic fatigue or something else?

Oh, of course, the problem is that I’m just adding more and more sand and burying myself “before even trying something”, huh?

I got where I am as a result of trying though. Trying a lot.

If you try long enough without any success, it gets more tiring and painful quicker. It’s just not worth it.

I have very little energy, both emotional and physical. I don’t want to waste it “trying” anymore things.

Where do I find literature or treatments that can help me with that?

Like AvPD, all these conditions are incurable. Even when I manage them, I’ll never have the same amount of energy a person normally would do. Trying to treat AvPD as if I was a neurotypical ablebodied person is not going to work.

In the same way, trying to shove my own personal queerness into some boxes so I can find a space amidst others isn’t going to work either. I have no intention of making myself more palatable or easier to understand for the comfort of others. That’s their problem, not mine.

If all that makes me “treatment-resistant” and “too strict” and stubborn, so be it.

I’m better on my own.

I’m done changing parts of myself to try to please others. Look where I got. Look how well that have worked out for me.

Fuck, I am so, so done with chasing after people. I’ve talked about this before... the more I feel confident in myself, the less inferior and wrong I see myself, the more I embrace and love all my peculiarities and weird habits that make me who I am, the more I see how these unique traits and mannerisms make me special and amazing in my own particular way.

I know for a fact that if I don’t hype myself up no one will. And hyping myself up is a great way to see my self-worth and accept me where I stand. I’m trying to change what serves no purpose, and trying to enhance the things I already enjoy.

It will get even better.

#avpd #avoidance #avoidant #avoidant personality disorder #loneliness #inanis post

11 notes · View notes

casualavocados · 2 years

Text

alright, here comes the long ass super personal and sentimental post absolutely nobody asked for (you’re welcome)

i watched episode 1 of bad buddy the day it aired (1 year ago today!) out of sheer luck. i dont even remember how i discovered it, but my initial thought was: “im bored. it’s 11pm and i dont want to go to sleep. this trailer looked fun. oh it came out today? sure what the fuck.” and i watched it in bed, on my phone. completely fucking unaware of what was about to happen to me and my life - and this honestly amuses me so much when i think about it because let me tell you...

i am NOT one to watch romance for romance’s sake. i really couldnt care less for it tbh. i’m not what i’d call a shipper at all (though i used to be, and if you remember my blog back then i owe you financial compensation bc tbh that whole spectacle exhausted me ANYWAY-).

romance is just something ive always preferred as a side dish to plot, bc i only tend to like it when it’s super well done, and ive never found any of it very realistic. this was actually pretty unfortunate for past me bc fun fact, i am a little bit of a hopeless romantic, and romcoms are my guilty pleasure. the problem is i also dont like any of them enough to care about them after ive satisfied my initial “i want to watch something cheesy and cute” urge. i’d seen a few other bl’s over the years but only bc i was bored or wanted to watch something gay, and none of them had ever stuck in my mind after i finished them. i actively avoided those fandom spaces so i definitely wasn’t keeping up with what was new.

(now listen, i have very specific thoughts on bl itself, but im not gonna get into that here (and actually miscellar said yesterday that the bl difference between 2020 and 2022 is unrecognizable and that basically sums it up so i dont have to lmao <3)).

- and ep1 of bad buddy is pretty typical bl! i adore this about it tbh because i was completely unprepared for everything the show was about to pull. my initial reaction was that it was something fun to look forward to every week.

so then-

I dont!! i dont even know how to explain it! ive tried too many times!

but it really is That Bitch, and truly feels like something i’d been waiting my whole life to see. a romantic comedy that was incredibly realistic in the sense of being overwhelmingly human, and also overwhelmingly queer. it’s so effortlessly fucking funny, while simultaneously a very (very very very) layered and emotional story. i will sing its praises to the end of time. it is quite literally the most well crafted show i’ve ever seen, and every time i rewatch it, or go back and reread old meta, im reminded that im not insane believing that. it just literally is that good. it’s such a simple story done so. extremely. well. it’s so ordinary, and that makes it extraordinary, and that was the intention from the start.

but i also have to say, one of the best things about having this show, is getting to be apart of the amazing community i found here loving it alongside me. bc i avoid fandoms. i stick to the places and the people/mutuals i know. i drift through edit tags more than i follow individual blogs. i block people like lightning. i have always had anons and replies off and i enjoy my privacy!!!

and i have talked to more people and made more friends and have had more fun this past year than i ever have before on this site.

it took me until after bb finished airing to start following people back, but by then i knew which blogs posted what and what i’d want to see more of on my dash - and there are still many many people im not following, or who arent following me, that i talk to! i love each of you so very much, and i want to do a couple special shoutouts, if thats okay. ♥️

SO, in no particular orderrrrrr:

@mrdumpling nuria you were the very first bl-centric blog to follow me, and as such gave me a little bit of a heart attack that day, because i knew you were a popular blog and i Was Not Ready For Attention lol. but im so glad you did! ik we don’t talk often, but i love lurking on your blog and following what you’re interested in, and most especially, sharing this show with you. to say your edits are beautiful is an understatement! i always love to see what you make!! 🧡

@actually-yikes SORA I MISS YOUUUUUU!!! 🌹 i love talking to you, i love bonding over warrior pran with you, i love the edits you make. i think you’re very funny and delightful. seriously. ...im kind of at a loss for words here bc you’re one of the blogs i went to the most while bb was airing, and the first person i followed after it ended. i really just think you’re wonderful, and idk how else to say it! ily!!!💕💕

@miscellar you have some of the best takes ive ever read, and you somehow seem to read my mind and write (in much better words than i ever could!) exactly what im feeling on so many different topics. i love reading your analysis, your criticism, and just in general whatever you have to say. you impress me very much tbh and im always a bit amazed whenever you talk to me. i love sharing meta with you! 💚

@pranparakul KATIIIEEE when you’re not on my dash i miss you. even if you’ve got posts in your queue ill be like 🥺 where’s katie? is she having a good day today? literally it doesnt matter what you post abt, bc your enthusiasm for whatever it is always makes me so happy. keep doing you <3♥️🌸💗💕💜🌸❣💗💜♥️💕

@snimeat GEI. okay we dont talk OFTEN but when we do we talk a LOT. your excitement is sooooooooooooo contagious and it always matches mine and i feel SO SEEN. i think your edits have such a mystical vibe to them...they always make me feel very wistful (in a very good way). luv u 💛

@pranpats Kit!!! your gifs are GORGEOUS. and you are one of the sweetest people on this site. you always say such lovely things in the tags, and i love occasionally coming to talk to you about gifmaking things. you are such a warm presence on my dash! 💜

and of COURSE @grapejuicegay - kk i think we speedran our friendship in the last 6 weeks. idk how we never really talked before, now that i know we were BOTH lurking on each other’s blogs this whole year. i don’t even know what to say that i haven’t already said in our dms. i fucking love talking to you. there are some people you just click with and im so glad you’re one of them. 💙💌💗💖💜💙💕💛♥️🌹💌💖💙💕

there are so many more of you i want to mention here!! and if you read this far please know im probably also thinking of you, and i want you all to know that i have loved every minute watching and sharing this show with you.

im constantly blown away by everyone’s kindness and how welcoming all of you are. this is truly my favorite place to be online. thank you for all the tags on my gifs and meta. thank you for being so warm.

im so happy this little show means as much to all of you as it does to me. happy one year everybody. 🎆🥂💚❤

#julian watches bb #long post #i SAID thered be emotional posts today and i MEANT IT #also huge shoutout to all my wonderful incredible and lovely mutuals and followers #who have stuck around while this show consumed my life #i love all of u i really do #and i love this show with my whole heart #its home to me <3

23 notes · View notes

melanccholia · 2 years

Text

The Rumor Comes Out: Does Bert and Ernie is Gay?

Growing up on public television in the early aughts, I, like many children before me and many who came after, delighted in watching the brightly colored and educational exploits of Jim Henson’s puppets on the PBS show Sesame Street. Among them, the famous figures of Bert and Ernie, two “male” puppets who lived in the same house, slept in the same room, and were almost never for a moment apart from one another. Even now, close relationships between men- both platonic and romantic- are heavily stigmatized in American culture, and, despite being inspired by the real life camaraderie between Jim Henson and Frank Oz, the two remain a rare example of gentle affection between two men in media. The first recorded instance of Bert and Ernie being interpreted as being in a homosexual relationship was in 1981, when Kurt Anderson described them as “[conducting] themselves in the same loving, discreet way that millions of gay men, women and hand puppets do. They do their jobs well and live a splendidly settled life together in an impeccably decorated cabinet” in his book The Real Thing. Though he later admitted to making the claim as a joke, the plush couple went on to become gay icons to thousands of queer people who grew up watching them on the screen, maintaining a time honored gay tradition of seeking a reflection where none may be.

The idea took such firm hold, in fact, that the New Yorker published an issue on the Supreme Court’s gay marriage ruling with a cover depicting Bert and Ernie curled up in domestic peace on their couch. It caused an immediate statement from Sesame Workshop itself, claiming that they are not gay, never have been and never would be- and it was not the first time they had made such a statement. Later, after writer Mark Saltzman admitted that during his time on the show he had always modeled them after the relationship between his late husband and himself, Frank Oz took to Twitter to finally put the claims to rest in September 2018: They are, most decidedly, not. They’re just puppets. And anyway, why do people care so much? “Does it really matter? Why the need to define people as only gay? There's much more to a human being than just straightness or gayness.”

Why does it matter? If we are all just people, the same as everyone else, why should we need to be pointed out? If we are all equal, why must we be defined as different? In Genre-Queer, Kazim Ali observes that “certain kinds of writing (bodies) are valued more, are promoted and supported and legitimized and that the kinds of writing that are undervalued or marginalized are precisely those which undermine (in both their form and content) traditional power structures and traditional ways of thinking.” This legitimization sends a clear message- even in a children’s show preaching acceptance and equality, undermine the existing structures enough and be prepared to find yourself labeled and discarded as other. In this light, writers would historically couch homosexual and homosical themes in heterosexual language, forming both the safety net of plausible deniability and a queer media culture that to this day remains incredibly sensitive to homosexual subtext… For many, it is this subtext, both real or imagined, that allowed queer individuals to see themselves reflected in their favorite characters. They can pretend, for even just a moment, that when they look up at a beautiful portrait of the world, someone like them can be staring back.

And yet, some argue, without that intentional subtext, it shouldn’t matter because it is the author who has the final say, anyways. Elena Ferrante once wrote, on her own immateriality as an author, that “I know that my books can only be female… But I also know that female (or male) absoluteness is inconceivable. We are tornadoes that pick up fragments with the most varied historical and biographical origins.” During his online diatribe, Oz doubled down on his position, saying that “I created Bert. I know who and what he is.” I wonder, though, how much a creator truly knows his creation, and how much of life’s detritus can be discovered, blended into the character purely by accident? I can sympathize with the plight of keeping the little creature you have made close to your chest, but once on paper, once on screen, it has no choice but to take on its own life- especially so, for a character designed to be handed off from writer to writer. As well, the character already can only exist in the space between author and reader, and the reader’s role in the birth of the character can’t be discounted. The reader isn’t stupid, after all (no matter how many would try to deny otherwise), and when the fragments picked up by the author’s tornado settles, it is the reader who’s job it is to pick them up and examine the pieces the author themself is blind to.

Bert and Ernie, as all facts point to, are puppets, are men, are fictional when held in the hand and real to whom they matter, and most importantly, they have a wonderful relationship. To see them as straight is fine- Sesame Workshop would rather you did. To read them as gay is also fine. Human connection is a universal theme, and whatever form it takes, all that matters is that it touches the hearts that need to be touched. As Oz concludes, “If Jim and I had created B & E as gay characters they would be inauthentic coming from two straight men. However, I have now learned that many view them as representative of a loving gay relationship. And that’s pretty wonderful. Thanks for helping me understand.”

#hey yeah so i get extra credit if I post this assignment online so yall better interact with this and help me get a good grade #sesame street #frank oz #bert and ernie #this is NOT the title i submitted it with by the way lmao

20 notes · View notes

faroreswinds · 2 years

Note

I hope you see this as a positive ask but I remember you saying you were surprised at mdimileth being popular, and I’m saying this mostly from a JPN perspective…but it really is? And I’m surprised to see others are surprised about it. The common thread between most shippers is that even though they’re both powerful men, one is highly repressed, awkward, but very noble and kind and also very tortured and sad, and the other man is awkward but quiet, repressed but in a different way, and unsure of how to act. It’s very different from what the developers intended I think! We like that they both learn how to act together and how to find their footing. They come together to help the land and fight the empire. One is the Ashen Demon who finds his heart after he meets people he comes to cherish and protect, the other the One Eyed Demon who finds his heart after he almost lost it to despair. A lot of us are also Blue Lions fans so I don’t know where this accusation comes from that says we exclude the rest of the lions for Byleth (my second pair is sylvix and my third is Mercedes with Dedue).

I had to look up English fan dictionaries for this but it’s also because one is big but kind but also repressed and he can tame a man who was scary and feared for being a demon but if you think about it, he’s actually submissive and breedable and almost like a twink. You can call me a fujoshi, but apparently that’s a bad word here? I’m not sure. I think another way to describe what we like is if you take Beauty and the Beast but apply it straight and reversed to both men at the same time. I’m sorry. I’m getting ahead of myself! I hope this explains our tastes well enough!

I hope you see this as a positive ask but I remember you saying you were surprised at mdimileth being popular, and I’m saying this mostly from a JPN perspective…but it really is?

I can't speak for others but... It sort of is to me. It's not a surprise that the ship exists, but I guess I'm surprised it's popular? Most shipping I've seen with Dimitri is with Femyleth since that's actually possible in the game, and Dimitri's other popular male ships are just with others, like Felix. I guess I always felt that the Male Byleth ship is simply just lost in the wave of others ships, especially since it's not possible to obtain. Say what you will about Dimitri's ending with Felix, it's still a possible ending one can achieve, while if you play with Manyleth then you are locked out with any ending with Dimitri entirely.

Don't get me wrong- I love Dimitri with Manyleth. I view Dimitri as a queer man, even if it's not intentional. I am not someone who just stamps queer onto any character I like either, I need either text or subtext to back this up. Without it, it just feels like I'm lying to myself. And since I feel Dimitri has adequate subtext, I feel that he should have been a male option for Manyleth and it doesn't make much sense that he isn't. Dimitri is pretty cute with Byleth period, and treats Byleth the same no matter what gender you choose. It would be odd to me that it only becomes romantic if it's a woman he talks to, when he's literally saying the exact same thing to the male one as well.

You can call me a fujoshi, but apparently that’s a bad word here?

I'm not sure where "here" is. Japan? Western fandoms? Well, in the West, it's not really a negative word. But I think most fujoshi's keep their tastes close to their chests. There is definitely a stigma against them, that they fetishize men and are unable to view male friendships without instantly shipping them. Which is so funny to me personally- I am asexual, but I love romantic stories about two men. I don't even care about the sex, I find something appealing about a two men being vulnerable to each other in a way that my culture is only recently opening itself up to.

I also find it funny because literally just the other day, I was chatting with a friend of mine and made a joke that Durin and Elrond from that terrible Rings of Power show seem more like an old married couple than the actual romantic pairings in the show at the moment. I don't actually ship them and honestly there isn't much subtext there, it's just the writing is so bad that they are the rare-pair actual interesting group of characters. My much older friend, who is NOT a fujoshi in any capacity at all, then made a comment how Sam and Frodo should have just kissed. She's clearly not fetishizing them at all, and is 100% capable of viewing male friendships as just friendships. Yet, she felt that Sam and Frodo were maybe a little more than friends, if you catch my meaning.

Sometimes, a chemistry is there, whether the writers intended it or not.

Anyways, point is- While I don't think fujoshi's are viewed negatively (especially since the West has been more and more open to queer relationships), it's still a private thing unless done over a blog where you can be faceless. That's my own experience though. Most of my friends in rl don't know I like mlm ships, save for two friends who are the same way. But in this regard, I tend to live in a bubble, so maybe someone else could educate me if I'm wrong.

There are definitely spaces where fujoshi are made fun of and ridiculed (like 4chan) but I don't even think most Western fans even know the term. It's becoming pretty common place to have queer ships just in general, especially in fandom spaces...

I’m sorry. I’m getting ahead of myself! I hope this explains our tastes well enough!

Don't apologize! My tastes are not much different than yours and I get the appeal.

It's just that since Manlyeth/Dimitri is not possible, I just figured it wasn't popular in Japan all that much. I was sure it had a following, but not a HUGE following, if you get my meaning. Especially since Femyleth seems disproportionally more popular just... in general.

#Three Houses discourse #anon asks

20 notes · View notes