#but don’t feed the trolls or whatever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rebelwrites · 3 months

Text

Fifteen: So What Happened Last Night?

Charles Leclerc x Nova Teller (OC)

Till the wheels fall off Masterlist

Small town meets the fast lane. What happens when two souls meet? Will it end in happiness or will they both crash and burn?

As always reblogs and feedback is highly appreciated ❤️ if you want tagging in future parts let me know ❤️

Resting my phone against my chest I found myself blankly staring up at the ceiling willing my body to go back to sleep. The sun was starting to creep into the room through the cracks in the blinds, the soft orange glow bounced off the walls, running my hand over my face. I finally admitted there was no way I was going to get back to a peaceful slumber, not when I had spent the best part of the last year waking up at the crack of dawn.

Feeling my phone vibrate against my body, I harshly rubbed my eyes as I tried to move but I quickly found I was being pinned down to the soft mattress by Charles’ arm draped across my torso. I couldn’t help but cock my brow at the screen of my phone once I had finally grabbed it. Jax’s name shone bright in the low light of the room.

Why was my brother texting me at five in the morning?

05:01 - whatever you do Squirt please don’t look at social media

Well, that was like telling me not to press a big red button, it was just going to make me want to do it even more. Swiping the conversation off my screen I automatically opened Instagram, the moment the feed loaded my heart sank into my stomach making me wish I had listened to my older brother for once.

My eyes went wide at the picture that was staring back at me but what caused tears to slide down my cheeks were the comments.

I knew people could be mean online but never I had the hate directed at me, I couldn’t stop the tears as I slowly locked my phone before gently prying Charles arm off my torso allowing me to escape the cloud like bed. The next five minutes were a blur as I grabbed Charles’ hoodie he was wearing last night, pulling it over my body letting the smell of his aftershave flood my senses providing me a small amount of comfort.

Sneaking out onto the balcony I placed a cigarette between my lips as I sunk down onto the outdoor sofa, I wanted to scream. I knew I should have put the phone away but I couldn’t help but continue scrolling through the comments. My head was spinning as the tears rolled freely down my cheeks, the more I read the words of random strangers on the internet the more my insecurities ate me alive.

She looks like a troll!!

What does Charles see in her? She’s the size of a whale.

Where are the supermodels he usually dates?

Look at those love handles, it’s making me feel sick.

Waking up to the bed being empty caused Charles' heart to sink, he let his arm move over to where Nova had been sleeping only to find the sheets were cold meaning she had left a while ago. Panic flooded his veins as he desperately went over everything that happened last night trying to pinpoint why he was waking up alone, however he was drawing blank.

He couldn’t find a single reason.

Everything about last night was perfect, listening to the sweet voice of the girl that had captured his heart and falling asleep with her wrapped in his arms. Running his hand over his face, he rolled out of bed, feeling the softness of the rug under his feet. As he was reaching for his phone he noticed the balcony door was open slightly.

For a moment he dropped his gaze to the screen of his phone just as a text came through from his brother.

07:31 - BRO YOU NEED TO CALL MAMAN ASAP

07:33 - APPELEZ-MOI MAINTENANT (CALL ME NOW)

07:34 - WAKE UP FUCKFACE!!!!

Confusion washed over Charles as he knitted his brows together at the messages, the sound of Nova’s soft cries caused him to lock his phone, he didn’t care he was wearing nothing but his boxers, he needed to see why she was crying.

The moment he saw Nova sat with her knees pulled to her chest, he felt his stomach twist into a knot. His movements were smooth as he quietly made his way over to the girl that had flipped his world upside down.

“Sunshine,” Charles whispered, placing his phone on the table before he crouched down resting his hand on Nova’s knee, “what's with all these tears?” he asked softly. Nova stayed silent, pulling her hands away from her face looking up at Charles. His heart broke as he took in how blood shot her piercing green eyes were. Reaching up he softly ran his thumb over her cheeks wiping away the tears that dampened her skin, “Parlez-moi Talk to me,” Nova sighed heavily as she passed Charles her phone, which was still open on the instagram post.

Charles couldn’t believe what he was reading, anger bubbled inside of him. There were only a few people that knew about their whereabouts and the only way they would have gotten to picture was if they were there, meaning it had to be someone from the yacht staff. However the thing that was upsetting him the most were the harsh words people were commenting about a girl they didn’t even know.

“Come here babygirl,” he hummed, placing the phone onto the small table before wrapping his arms around Nova, “they don’t know what they are talking about. You are beautiful, smart, brave and one of the best women I know.”

“But-”

“No buts,” he whispered, pressing a tender kiss to the top of Nova’s head, “all the people that are commenting about you are jealous, because I want to be with you and not them,” before he could say another word his ringtone started echoing around the two of them. He turned his gaze to the screen seeing his mother’s face staring back at him, “I need to answer that,” he said softly, “you ready to meet my Maman?”

“What if she doesn’t like me?” Nova whimpered, roughly wiping her eyes with the sleeves of Charles’ hoodie she was wearing.

“Sunshine, Maman is going to love you.”

Jax watched intently as the red Ferrari gracefully pulled into the bar's car park, with bated breath he watched Nova through the passenger window, he couldn’t quite see if she had tear stained cheeks from where he was standing.

Some of the comments made his blood boil, making him want to track down every single person, putting a 9mm hole in their heads. That thought alone scared him slightly, he wasn’t the same person he was when he was a teen, he didn’t carry all of the time now but when it came down to Nova he would go on a killing spree, without batting an eyelid just to protect her.

The moment he saw the post and the horrendous comments Charles’ fans were saying his stomach twisted into a tight knot knowing how much this would tear her up. He had spent many years consoling his baby sister when her insecurities and demons in her mind became too much to bear.

A small smile appeared on his face as he watched Charles climb out of the driver’s seat, jogging around the front of the vehicle before opening the passenger door helping Nova out of the car. It was a breath of fresh air to see her with someone that wasn’t a complete douchebag.

Surprisingly Nova stepped out of the car with a bright smile on her face, it had been a while since he had seen his sister with a smile that actually reached her piercing green eyes. He had never seen his little sister so happy, he just hoped that this wasn’t just a fling between her and Charles and they could make the long distance work.

Running his hand through his perfectly kept blonde hair smirking as Charles and Nova walked hand in hand up to the building. It was as if they were in their own protective bubble, like the recent social media post didn’t exist. He just prayed that she had actually done what he had told her for once and kept off the internet.

He knew his sister didn’t come home the previous night meaning he was ready to go into fully annoying big brother mode teasing her about her whereabouts, although there was no need to ask where she was, he already knew she spent the night with Charles. “Soooooooo,” Jax whistled, placing a cigarette between his lips before extending his arm out to Nova offering her one which she quickly took with a nod, “what happened last night?” his tone was playful as he nudged Nova’s arm with his elbow.

“Like I’m gonna tell you,” Nova hummed, pausing to take a long drag of the smoke, “but we do need to talk about Juice, that boy’s had too many fuckin’ chances.”

Before Jax could speak Elenor came running over linking her tiny hand with Charles’, giggling loudly as she pulled him into the bar. Jax wrapped his arm around Nova’s shoulders pulling her into his side. He took a deep breath before asking his next question, normally he could read Nova like an open book but not today, “I need to tell you something.”

“Yea, I know,” Nova said with no emotion in her voice, “I kinda looked this morning.”

Jax let out a heavy sigh, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, “are you okay?”

“Meh, Char helped calm me down this morning, he helps keep the demons away,” Nova said quietly looking down at her trainers, “I knew there was a chance this could get out but I didn’t expect it to be so quick, ya know,” she sighed, resting her head on her brother’s shoulder.

“Are you together now then?” Jax asked.

“I think so,” Nova nodded.

“You think so? Surely it is a yes or no answer.”

“We haven’t really spoken about it, guess we are just seeing where it goes. At the end of the day he will be leaving town in a couple of weeks so I don't wanna get my hopes up,” she said, Jax didn’t miss the hint of sadness in her tone as she mentioned about Charles leaving.

“Even I can see that boy loves you,” Jax whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Nova’s head, “don’t focus on him leaving town, just focus on the time you have with him. Life is short squirt, don't let an opportunity to fall in love slip through your fingers.”

The sound of his daughter’s giggles coming from inside the bar made his heart swell, not only was Charles good with his sister but Elenor adored him, although he find himself starting to feel jealous that his babygirl wanted to spend her time with the Monegasque driver rather than her daddy.

Pushing the jealous thoughts from his mind, he pressed another kiss against Nova’s temple before speaking. “So you wanted to speak about Juice? What's he done now?”

Nova placed another cigarette between her lips, taking a step back from Jax, looking up at him through her lashes as she fumbled with the zippo. “It would be easier to tell you what he hasn’t done,” she growled through the filter of the smoke,“the jerk is a waste of air.”

Jax cocked his brow, knowing that if he wanted to keep his balls intact he knew not to interrupt his sister when she was going off on a rant.

“I warned him, I fucking warned him if he screwed up once more then he is gone,” she spat, leaning against the brickwork of the building, taking a long inhale of the cigarette, “I went back to Charles’ room at the Lodge and the place was a fucking sty.”

“Leclerc’s room?”

“No dummy, the lobby of the Lodge,” Nova hummed, narrowing her eyes across the parking lot. Jax watched as she snarled to the person backing their bike into a parking spot. “Oh and he was no where to be fucking seen, probaly too busy at that stupid fucking weed shop.”

Jax let out a heavy sigh, running his hand across his face, “okay, leave him to me,” he nodded, pushing himself off the wall moving so he was blocking Nova’s view of Juice. “Now, what you are going to do is take a deep breath, forget about Juice and go spend some time with that man of yours.”

Nova scoffed at Jax, “Ce n'est pas mon homme, face de cul. He's not my man, assface,” she said, rolling her eyes, as he took the half smoked cigarette from between her fingers.

“You know I hate it when you speak French to me,” he huffed, like a toddler as he watched his sister crouch down grabbing one of the crates of beer piled by the doorway before slipping into the building.

Jax couldn’t believe it was only a couple of months ago where he had a similar conversation with Juice. But this was it, there wasn’t going to be any more chances. The Lodge meant alot to the club and his family so to hear that it was being turned into a dumping ground, severely pissed him off.

The only sound that was echoing around the empty lot was the crunch of the gravel under Juice’s boots. Jax tossed the cigarette in the metal bucket by the door as he narrowed his eyes at the Puerto Rican.

“Kitchen, now!”

@withmyteeth @chibsytelford @stillbreathin @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @dragon-of-winterfell @ohthemisssery @a-distantdreamer @sgkophie @angywritesstuff @enchantedbytomandhenry @scribbuluswrites @dangerouspursepeachbear @buendiabebeta @ferrarifwendvale @theplobnrgone @charlesleclercje @queenslife @panicforspec @justme2042 @liv67 @derpinathebrave @clcspeonies @pleasantducktimetravel @raaaaabzzz @mehrmonga @sbgal @fangirl-lb @pitconfirmbutton @oslokij @tall-tanned-tattoo @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @pumpkin-spice-hate @talicat713 @band--psycho @little-diable @i-love-scott-mccall @fourthwallhateclub @theysayitscrazy @rosieposie0624 @choochoo284 @meteora-fc @beeroses @darklydeliciousdesires @the-jer-bear @extraneousred @youflickedtooharddamnit @babypink224221

#charles leclerc #Charles Leclerc x reader #Charles Leclerc x oc #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #f1 #f1 x reader #f1 x oc #f1 imagine #sons of anarchy #jax teller #jax teller x reader #jax teller imagine #sons of anarchy imagine

49 notes · View notes

jessicaloons · 7 months

Text

Chapter 14:

And it’s coming over you like it’s all a big mistake…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"That is narrow…" I said as I stopped my bike and looked around.

"Yeah, it’s really tight at some corners, but you’ll be fine!" Charles said and smiled at me encouragingly.

"But the track looks fun…" I began to cycle again, Charles next to me.

"It is! You’ll see! Now come one, the loser will pay for dinner!" he said and took off.

"That was unfair!" I yelled and he just laughed.

"The race leader decides the re-start… so hurry up!" he yelled back and I tried my best to catch up to him.

"That was pretty close, ma belle!" Charles laughed as I stopped next to him, almost out of breath "But I won anyways."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" I mumbled and we left the track, both joining our hospitalities.

I gulped down some water and sat down next to Dad who looked up from his iPad, a little frown visible.

"What’s up?" I asked and he pursed his lips before he handed me the iPad. It was a Twitter feed. People were still discussing why Checo wasn’t able to fight me off.

"I don’t like what they’re implying… how they call you names…" Dad said and I looked at him, he was really tense "You didn’t go through hell and back again for a bunch of idiots to treat you like that!"

"I mean, we knew that this could happen, we saw the backlash throughout the last months since Audi announced me as their driver…" I began but he shook his head.

"Yeah, but by now? They saw how you raced last weekend! They saw how good you are! Podium in your first race!" he was getting mad.

"I know Pops, but we can’t change that… unfortunately. I’ll ignore it and you should too. That’s the only thing we can do." I sighed.

"But it shouldn’t be the only thing we can do… we should do more to protect you! And not just you! Everyone who is the target of these internet elf’s!" Dad said and I started laughing "That’s not funny! I’m serious!"

"And I totally believe you, but they’re called internet trolls… not elf’s…" I laughed and he grinned at me, before gently smacking my arm.

"Stop laughing at me!" he chuckled and snapped his iPad out of my hands, as he did the mail app opened up and I saw a mail from Michael Schüler.

"Why did Michael send you an email?" I asked and Dad looked confused for a second before he swallowed hard "Dad? Why is he writing to you?"

"He umm-… he wanted to check in on you…" he said meekly and looked apologetic "I didn’t answer him or anything!"

"What does he want?" Dad just sighed and shook his head "Michael isn’t the type of guy to just check in on someone!"

"He asked who’s your manager…" he whispered almost.

"Of course… now that I made it to F1 he would love to take me back, right? Unbelievable! After he kicked me out? 3 months after I was almost dying? Because he couldn’t afford to manage someone who wasn’t driving?!" I was furious and Dad took my hand.

"Lizzie, I’m not replying! I don’t care what he thinks he could offer you… he’s out! And with Rita I think we’re good! She takes care of everything that has to be taken care of but stays in the back."

"Yeah, she’s great! And I don’t want anyone else ever again!" I said, thinking of Rita who managed me since the beginning of the season, taking care of everything but staying as far away from everything public as possible "She just looks out for me and not for her own benefits. She’s great!"

"She really is! And we keep it that way, no slimy manager from the past will destroy that!" Dad smiled at me and I nodded "And now go to Julie, she was looking for you!"

"Aye, aye Captain!" I said and mockingly saluted at him, before I left, looking for Julie.

P11. After a penalty and a 3 place grid drop. I shook my head as I walked out of the hearing with the FIA next to Felix and Pete.

"That’s ridiculous and they know it…" Felix said and Pete nodded.

"The data showed clearly that he didn’t slow down like he said he had to, that you were out of his way fast enough… a bunch of idiots!" Pete agreed and I was glad we were speaking German, I didn’t want anyone from the FIA or Ferrari to hear us talking shit about them.

"He’s such a cry baby! He impedes his fellow drivers all the time… and you weren’t even impeding him!" Felix said and I laughed.

"We can’t change it now, I have to make up for it in the race tomorrow! Valtteri is in a good position to get us some nice points, maybe I can snatch 1 or 2 as well!" I said and we kept on walking. In front of us I saw how Carlos, Mattia and Laurent were laughing and having a good time, on my behalf. Nice.

I sat in the car. Unbuckling my seatbelts. That wasn’t the result I was hoping for. Yeah sure, another podium wasn’t on my mind. I knew that last weekend I had some luck with Checo who couldn’t catch up to me after I was overtaking him because of his engine, then the late safety car and my set of new softs, which Lewis didn’t have. But still. P9? It could’ve been a P7 at least, but I made a mistake and my tires locked up. I could only make up 2 positions in the end. And that’s nothing. I slowly got out of my car and saw how Charles was walking away from his team and looking around, because I walked behind Nico and Alex, Charles couldn’t see me and took off his helmet, grabbed the towel to dry his face up. I slowly made my way towards him, following the 2 guys in front of me. After they congratulated him he pulled me into him.

"Well done, Charlie." I said and he shook his head a little.

"I had no chance in the end." he sighed.

"It’s still a P2! And you didn’t make any mistakes… unlike someone else…" I said and he cocked an eyebrow "Doesn’t matter. Go celebrate! I’ll see you later…"

"Lizzie wait!" he said but I shook my head and walked up to Max and Carlos, congratulating them, before I left. After my weighing I walked into my garage, where the team welcomed me warmly. Felix pulled me into his arms.

"I know it’s not the result you wanted. But it’s still in the points, Lizzie! You’re doing amazing! Be proud of yourself!" he said and I only nodded, helmet still on.

I walked into the back, clapping shoulders left and right. Saying we would come back stronger in Australia. I reached my space and sat down. Taking my helmet off.

"You look like you DNFd although you’re in the points!" Dad said as he crouched down in front of me "You did a good job."

"I did a shit job! Dad, my mistake cost me 2 positions! 2! That was just so stupid! I could’ve been in P7…" I rambled and dried my face off and drank some water.

"I know, but it’s only your second race! It’s okay to make some mistakes!" he answered but I shook my head.

"Dad, I can’t afford making mistakes like this!” I mumbled and he gently patted my back "Every mistake I make is another reason for the media to shoot me down…"

"I know Lizzie! But you have to show them that you won’t let them drag you down! Show them how strong you are! Admit your mistake, but it was just that, a simple mistake that can happen, next time you’ll make it better. Period." Dad said and he smiled at me.

"Yeah… maybe you’re right… ok, ok! You are right!" I chuckled a little and he got back up.

"Come on now, Julie is waiting for you, you have some interviews to attend!" he pulled me up on my feet and pushed me into Julie’s direction.

"Hi Lizzie, second race and a P8. Little lock up of your tires towards the end. Talk us through." Natalie Pinkham from Sky UK was the first on my list for tonight and I shrugged my shoulders a little.

"Yeah, it wasn’t the best weekend. The track didn’t suit our car the best I think. I was struggling slightly on Friday, yesterday was better but then the penalty came in… the race was okay, I managed to make up a few positions but then I made a stupid mistake that made me lose P7. I finished ninth so yeah. It’s 2 points but it could’ve been a bit more if I didn’t lock up…" I answered and she smiled at me.

"That lock up looked like you were avoiding making contact with Pierre and Lando?" she asked and I nodded.

"I wanted to overtake Esteban in front of me, but he defended quiet good and the track is pretty narrow, so when I went in for the overtake he closed the door pretty sharply and I tried it on the outside but Pierre and Lando were already next to me and I knew if I’m not braking I’m straight into Lando who would probably touch Pierre in the process so I braked and then locked up… I was too harsh on the brake." I concluded and she smiled at me sympathetically.

"But all in all it was a good performance! From P11 to P8, you gained 3 positions on a track that isn’t the easiest and also new to you?" she said and I looked at her confused.

"I finished in P9?" I asked.

"Yes you did, but Lando got a 5 second penalty, so you’re in P8 now." Natalie said and I nodded.

"Oh okay, yeah well, I only gained 2 positions because of my driving, the one because of Lando’s penalty doesn’t count for me." I answered and she frowned a little.

"You’re very hard on yourself, aren’t you?" she said, smiling sympathetically and I shook my head.

"No, I’m just very aware of my driving… Today wasn’t my best race, I know I can do better than that and I hope in Australia I can showcase that…" I replied and she smiled.

"I’m sure you will, thank you Lizzie!" Natalie waved me off and I walked to the next interview.

Most of them were all the same, talking about the penalty, how I managed to overtake some cars and lastly how I made my mistake. I answered over and over the same things, again and again.

"One last interview with ESPN Spain and then we’re good." Julie said and I followed her, stopping in front of the Spanish tv crew. I immediately recognised the reporter, he was sitting next to Salva Diaz in Bahrain.

"Hola Lizzie, tough weekend for you! First the penalty for impeding Carlos and then today your lock up. Compared to last weekend it’s a little set back, isn’t it?" the reporter asked and I took a deep breath.

"It wasn’t as good as last week, that’s for sure. The penalty was unfortunate, starting from P11 instead of P8 wasn’t optimal, but I managed to gain some positions, but then I made a mistake and that’s it." I answered and he nodded.

"Last weekend looked easier, compared to this weekend? What changed?" he asked.

"The track didn’t suit our car that well. I had some problems with the track. That’s it." I replied.

"It had nothing to do with the drivers and their cars you had to overtake this weekend?" he asked then and I was taken aback for a moment.

"What do you mean?" I looked at him confused.

"Checo with a damaged car was no problem apparently…" he began.

"But Lewis was and I managed to do that, today as well, I might add, I also overtook Pierre and Lando today. It was my own mistake that made me lose positions. Thank you. Bye." I had enough. Julie nodded and we left the slightly mad looking Spaniard behind.

"Sorry, but that was annoying! I’m sick of people telling me that last weekend was not my own doing in some way…" I sighed and Julie just gently rubbed my arm.

"It’s okay, he was an asshole! Let’s get back, have our team meeting and then go back to the hotel!" she smiled at me and we walked back into our garage.

As the door opened and Charles walked in I jumped off the bed and walked to him, hugging him.

"I’m sorry!" I whispered but Charles only chuckled.

"For what?" he asked.

"For walking away, for not attending the podium celebrations…" I sighed.

"That’s nothing you have to apologise for? I know the feeling all too well… after a race that wasn’t that good you just want to be alone for a bit… it’s fine, ma belle!" Charles pushed me a little off of him to look at me "Don’t worry, okay?"

"Okay…" I whispered and walked back to the bed, plopping down.

"I’ll take a shower, I'll be back in a couple of minutes." Charles mumbled and I nodded, switching on the tv.

"Alright, what are we watching?" Charles jumped on the bed, sitting next to me, back against the headboard.

"I don’t know, maybe a movie, I’m not in the mood to party, sorry. But I’m sure you’ll have a good time without me!" I said, zapping through the channels.

"Nope, I’m good. I don’t want to party, staying in sounds perfect. But I’m really hungry…" Charles answered and I looked at him.

"You sure? I don’t want to ruin your evening, just because I’m in a bad mood after messing up my race with a stupid mistake…" I said and Charles groaned a little.

"Come on now! You’re way too hard on yourself! It’s only your second race! And you’re still in the points!" Charles said.

"But I don’t want to be still in the points! I want to be up there! Top 5 at least! Everything below isn’t good enough!" I mumbled and pulled the blanket over my head.

"Lizzie! You’re a freaking rookie! Stop that nonsense! You were good! Maybe not perfect, but you’ll get there! I know it! You made a mistake, now you can learn from it!" he tore the blanket away from my face and leaned over me "And can we now please order some food? I’m starving!"

"You know that you can go party with Max and Pierre?" I asked him but he shook his head "Just because of me you don’t have to stay in as well! You can go!"

"Nope, I’m exactly where I want to be… and now give me the menu!" Charles made grabby hands and I gave him the menu from the night stand.

"Thanks…" I whispered after a while and he pulled me close to his side.

"Always."

"It’s like a family vacation again!" Liam cheered and made himself comfortable in Charles lap "Can we go see Koalas? And Kangaroos? Oh and Wombats!"

"We’ll try to see every animal there is to see in Australia, Bubba!" Charles replied and Liam beamed up at him "It’s really sad that Marcus and Benji couldn’t join in…"

"Yeah, after Lisa had the flu last week, they’re now both sick as well." Mum sighed and I thought about Benjis heartbroken face when we FaceTimed yesterday.

"They’ll join us next time!" Dad said and I nodded, looking out of the window.

"Are you okay?" Charles whispered, when everyone was still asleep and I turned to him.

"I have a bad feeling…" I whispered and he waited for me to continue "I don’t know, it probably is nothing… it’s just. I don’t know! It feels like something is happening!"

"You’re just nervous! That’s okay! You’ll be great! Albert Park is a track that suits not just your car, also your driving style! And you know it! Just relax and let us enjoy some quiet days together, okay?" he said and I nodded, as the flight attendant stopped next to us.

"Excuse me, Sir, we will serve breakfast in the next few minutes." she said, a flirtatious smile on her lips.

"Thank you." he answered and gently stroked Liams back "Hey little man, you need to wake up." he whispered in German.

"Nope, tell Mami I want to sleep a little longer…" he yawned and snuggled deeper into Charles' chest. I had to giggle a little and Charles looked up at me, smiling. I gently tickled Liams side and he sat up slowly, rubbing his eyes.

"Hey Bubba!" I cooed at him and he yawned again, looking around, his look stayed on the flight attendant that still stood next to Charles, glancing at him. He slowly turned around, looking at me confusedly climbing out of Charles lap into mine.

"Who is that?" he asked me and I laughed.

"I think she has a crush on Charlie…" I whispered and although I wanted to make a light hearted joke, there was a tinge of jealousy in my voice and I hoped Charles didn’t hear it. He chuckled at my words and turned to the flight attendant.

"Is there anything else?" he smiled at her and she shook her head abruptly.

"No Sir! Sorry!" and with that she disappeared.

"She’s weird…" Liam whispered and I laughed as Sissy walked up to us "Mami the flight attendant has a crush on Charlie!"

"Oh really? Interesting…" she chuckled "Come on now, they serve breakfast and you need to sit down in your own seat, so Charlie can eat in peace!"

"Okaaaay…" Liam pouted but followed his mum anyway.

"So, are you telling me now, where our first stop will be and why we’re flying to Brisbane first, instead of Melbourne?" I asked Charles and he just shook his head.

"You just wait sunshine, you just wait…" he said and smiled his adorable smile.

"Can we open our eyes now?" Dad said next to me and I couldn’t wait for whatever surprise Charles had planned for us.

"Okay, 3,2,1… open your eyes!" Charles said and I opened them.

I slowly blinked a couple of times to get used to the bright daylight as Dad next to me chuckled.

We stood in front of the Australia Zoo.

"Oh my god…" I whispered and Dad looked at me "Dad! You know where we are, right?"

"I sure do!" he said and he looked at Charles, pulling him to his side "Amazing, Charles! What a great idea!"

"I know that you are huge fans of Steve Irwin and watched his shows all the time and now the new show with his kids. So yeah, welcome to Australia Zoo…" Charles said and a van parked next to us "Oh and look who’s here as well…"

The door opened and Mick got out followed by Seb, Hanna and the kids.

"Heeeey!" I said and hugged first Seb then Mick "What a pleasant surprise!"

Next I hugged Hanna and high fived Emilie, Matilda and Philipp. As everyone greeted each other we headed inside. I was more than excited and the kids almost freaked out when they saw that we were welcomed with a bunch of different animals for us to pet. I crouched down next to Liam and Matilda who both looked at a lizard with big eyes.

"It has a blue tongue! That looks funny!" Matilda said and Liam nodded.

"Yeah! Why is it blue?" he asked.

"It’s a blue-tongued skink, their tongues are just blue, there is no specific reason for that." the zookeeper explained.

"Looks like it licked one of those lollipops that colour your tongue…" Liam chuckled and the zookeeper nodded.

"Exactly!" she smiled at him "His name is Oscar, you can pet him if you want to!"

Liam made big eyes and looked at me.

"Can you do it first?" he whispered and I swallowed, I hadn’t planned to touch that skink but now I had to. I slowly stretched out my hand and petted the back of it and Liam smiled, then he followed my lead.

"Good job, Bubba!" Charles said as he was crouching down next to us.

"Now it’s your turn, Charlie!" Matilda said and Charles' eyes widened "Come on! Oscar is cute!"

"Yeah… he really is…" Charles looked at the reptile and with a not so steady hand he carefully petted Oscar, the blue-tongued skink.

"You’re really brave, Charlie!" I chuckled and he pinched my side. "What about petting a snake?"

"No. Definitely not." he said immediately and I laughed. Charles and snakes. That was a big no.

"We have some special guests with us, I can see!" a young male voice behind us said and we turned around. Robert Irwin and his mum Terri stood in front of us, both with a koala bear in their arms.

"Hi guys, I’m Terri, it’s so good to see you all!" Terri introduced herself and I was a little star struck. We slowly introduced ourselves one by one and Terri and Robert smiled at us.

"Who wants to cuddle with Leia, our little koala joey?" Robert asked and the kids all made big eyes "Come on, she’s the cutest little koala girl."

"And this is Maxy, he’s Leila’s older brother." Terri rubbed the koala boy between the ears and the bear snuggled into her arm. I was in awe as I walked up closer "You want to hold him, Lizzie? He’s a good boy."

"Yes please! Oh god! Look at this cute little fella!" I was over the moon when Terri gently laid the koala in my arms and he snuggled into me "I will never ever let go of him! Oh god! He’s adorable!" I scratched the little head of Maxy and he made a cute little sound.

"He likes you!" Terri smiled at me and as Maxy climbed up a little towards the eucalyptus I held in my right hand, he lifted my shirt with his leg, turning it into a crop top.

"Hey little one, please don’t undress me!" I chuckled.

We spent the whole day with Robert and Terri, they were showing us around the zoo, the animal clinic with hundreds of saved wild animals that they will return back to their natural habitat once they’re healthy enough. The crocodiles where we could watch Robert feed a huge one for us. It was an amazing day and when we were walking out, after saying goodbye to Terri and Robert the kids were chatting excitedly and Dad and I were deep in a conversation about the crocodiles.

"Charles?" he looked up from his phone "Today was… incredible! Thank you…"

"I’m just glad you had a good time." he smiled and I nodded.

"More than a good time… it was perfect!" I replied and he sat up, careful not to wake up Liam who fell asleep after we watched a movie together, earlier.

"You and Pops looked so happy today… the kids loved it too… and you and that koala? Adorable! It was an amazing day for all of us!" he said and I smiled.

"Yeah, it really was! A very long, but incredible day. Thank you so much!" I said with a little yawn.

"You’re very welcome and now sleep! We’ll go to the beach tomorrow and then in the evening we’ll fly to Melbourne!" Charles said and I scooted down, cuddling up next to Liam, Charles switched the light off and then did the same.

The Thursday in Melbourne started with the shooting of an episode of Grill the Grid, I was really excited for it. Watching it the last years was, apart from the races obviously, one of my favourite things about F1. Seeing the drivers out of their element was so much fun, even though some were clearly showing how big of a geek they are, Seb recalling all of the World Champions going back was more than impressive. I stood in front of a camera crew, next to me a chart, waiting for what I had to do, feeling giddy and ready to go.

"We’ve got a height chart for you and we’ve got magnets with all driver’s names and we’ll give you 2 minutes to put them in height order from tallest to shortest." Angelina explained and I nodded, taking the magnets from her "Ready for your first Grill the Grid?"

"Yup! Let’s go!" I answered determinedly and the crew laughed.

"Ok, your time starts now!" Angelina started the timer and I began to go through the magnets.

"Okay, easiest first, Yuki is the shortest, done. Who’s the tallest? Esteban, Alex, Nicholas and George are all pretty damn tall! I’ll put them together… okay then Max and Lance? They look the same? Yeah that’s fine… Charles is 1.80 that I know so I’ll put him here… Danny? He’s the same as Charles, no? Then Carlos, Pierre? They’re a little shorter than Danny and Charles? I think?" I talked more with myself and was trying my best to get through the grid mentally. I looked at the board and the magnets in my hand. "I think after Yuki I’m the shortest? I think Fernando is the same? Or is he maybe even slightly taller? Yeah let’s make him above me, don’t want to bruise his ego…" I chuckled and Angelina and the rest of the crew laughed.

"He’ll be delighted!" she said and I laughed.

"Who do I have left? Lewis? I think he’s also around Carlos and Pierre… yeah that looks about right… ok then I think Seb and Mick? They are the same I think? God! I was just spending some time with them! I should’ve paid more attention to their height! Yeah let’s put them under Lewis anyway… Kevin? How tall or short is Kevin?" I stood there and tried to remember a moment where Kevin stood next to someone else but my mind blanked.

"And that‘s time!" Angelina said and I was shocked.

"What?! Already? Nooo!" I put the last names on the board, in no real order.

"Alright. Let’s see!" Angelina began and looked at her clipboard "So Ocon is the tallest, then we have Albon and Latifi, both 1.86, then George… next we have Max then Lance. So far you were mostly right, technically you put Ocon higher than Albon and Russell and Latifi… so yeah we’ll give that to you. But Charles is taller than Danny Ric."

"Is he? By how much? A centimetre?" I laughed and she nodded.

"Yeah! Charles says he’s 1.80 and Danny 1.79… next up Carlos, then Pierre. Lewis is shorter than our next three drivers: with a height of 1.76 we have Vettel, Schumacher and Norris…" Angelina said and I laughed.

"Lando? 1.76? Did he wear platoon shoes when they were measuring him?" I said and they all laughed.

"That’s what he says…" she said.

"You should give that to the stewards!"

"We might!" Angelina chuckled and looked down on her clipboard again "Now we have Hamilton, together with Magnussen, then Checo and Bottas, there you were correct! And then our bottom three Alonso, you and Tsunoda…"

"I mean I aced that part for sure!" I laughed and Angelina nodded.

"That’s 14, no 15 points for you! Well done!" she said and they all clapped and cheered.

"Easy peasy, Lemon squeezie!" I laughed. When I left for the media pen I felt relaxed and was in a pretty good mood. If the rest of the weekend would go like this challenge, it would be amazing.

Charles POV:

As I walked past the Audi hospitality coming from the press conference, Lizzie walked out and spotted me, her face lit up and she sprinted up to me, hugging me tight and when she pulled away, she kissed my cheek.

"Hi to you, too!" I chuckled and she blushed a little "What was that for?"

"Felix told me… well showed me." she replied, her voice a little shaky.

"Felix told you what?" I was confused.

"The video!" she said and I realised what she meant "You and Seb! Oh well and Joris, of course! I know what your edits look like…"

"I mean, I told you that I would do everything to get you a seat… but funnily enough, Felix said they already chose you before the video, but they liked it, it showed them they made the right decision!" I laughed and she hugged me again.

"Thank you, Charlie! So, so much!" she whispered and kissed my cheek again, my skin tingling and heating up.

"You would’ve done the same…" I whispered back.

"Yeah and I would’ve edited the video myself!" she giggled into the crook of my neck, tickling my skin with her warm breath and I hugged her even closer, our bodies melting together.

After a while someone cleared their throat behind us and we pulled away.

"We want to leave…" Andrea said, grinning like a devil.

"Yeah, umm-I need my stuff…" I began and Andrea held up my backpack "Cool. Thanks Andrea!" I took it from him and looked at Lizzie "You ready?"

"Yup, let’s go…" she smiled at us and for the millionth time, it took me to another planet.

The free practices went by in a breeze, I felt good in the car, the best I felt for a long time. I was confident that this weekend could be even better than Bahrain, not to mention Jeddah…

I waited behind Max at the pit exit. Q3 was about to start and I felt how the adrenaline rushed through my veins.

"Alright Lizzie. You can push a little more in sector 2, data showed that the traction there was good and you could give a little more." Pete said.

"Whole sector 2?"

"Yes."

"How many warm-up laps?"

"Try 2."

"Copy."

The tires felt great, there wasn’t much traffic on the track and after my second out lap I breezed past the track. I almost yelled out in glee.

"S1, PURPLE! S2, PURPLE! S3, PURPLE! LIZZIE YOU’RE P1!" Pete shouted on the radio.

"No way?! Are you sure?!"

"Positive. Max is P2. Perez P3."

"Charles?"

"Starts his warm-up lap now. Box now."

"Copy."

As I drove into the pit lane I saw Charles breeze past me and I hoped he would have an amazing lap as well.

"We use the used softs from this morning, you drove only one lap on them."

"Alright. Where am I now?"

"P2. Charles P1. Max P3."

"Let’s go."

I drove out of the pits. One last warm-up lap.

"With you on track Charles, Max, Perez, Russell."

"Will I get into traffic?"

"Not if you make it through in one go."

"Copy."

Let’s go. One last lap to put my car in the front row.

Sector 1 felt fast, Sector 2 felt even faster, as I breached into Sector 3 the yellow flag was waved.

"FUCK! WHAT HAPPENED!" I was fuming.

"Alonso crashed." Pete said.

"Damn it. Is he okay?"

"He’s okay."

"Is it over?" I was hoping for a no, but then I saw the red flag.

"Yeah." Fuck.

"Charles on pole. And then?"

"Max P2. You P3. Perez P4."

"P3?" I was disappointed.

"You were amazing! You had purple in S1 and 2. Probably could’ve had purple in S3 as well."

"It’s okay." It wasn’t. It sucked. But I had 58 laps to catch up to Charles. But for now I had to accept the defeat. Head back to the hotel and get a good nights sleep to be on top of my game for the race.

"Lizzie! What a weekend! Almost your first pole! P2 today! And it’s only your third race!" Mark Webber had to almost yell his questions because of the noise and I smiled as I saw Dad with Liam on his shoulders standing at the fence hugging Charles.

"Unbelievable! After the quali yesterday I had a good feeling that we could have an amazing race and everything worked so well! The guys at the pit wall, the pit crew, it worked all out in the end!" I answered and my team cheered even louder.

"You almost overtook Max instantly at the race start but then it got a little heated with Max, Sergio, Lando and Lewis?" Mark asked.

"I don’t know what happened exactly but yeah it got a little bumpy and then I had a puncture somehow and had to pit, but again the team did an amazing job and I didn’t lose too many positions." I replied and he nodded.

"What happened with Carlos? It looked like you two had a tough battle? Before his race ended?" he looked at me and I shook my head.

"I will have to check the footage to fully understand what happened… we had a tough battle indeed and when I tried to overtake him back he locked up and lost the rear I think? I don’t know, I have to look into it. But yeah I tried to go through the field as fast as possible and now I’m here." I concluded and he patted my arm.

"And you deserve it! Enjoy your P2!" with that I was ushered directly into the cool down room, where George was already sitting.

"I think after today there is no one who could doubt that you belong here!" he said and watched at the screen that showed how I overtook first Lando and Lewis in one go and later himself "You did amazing!"

"Thanks, George! You too! Checo had no chance!" I smiled at him as Charles walked in.

"I could get used to this. You and I, in here, together!" he chuckled and I laughed.

"Me too, believe me!" I said.

"Can I join?" George joked and I chuckled.

"Guys? Are you ready?" an F1 official picked us up for the podium ceremony. My second one in my third race. I couldn’t wait for the day where I could hear the German national anthem. Rather sooner than later.

"You almost won! You were this close to beating Charlie!" Liam chirped and Charles scooped him up.

"She really was close, right? For a moment there I thought she would overtake me!" he said and Liam made big eyes.

"Yeah sure… how long did you have to wait for that jump scare? 20 seconds?" I asked.

"Something like that…" he laughed and I rolled my eyes at him.

"You’re a jerk!" I whispered and he pulled me to his side, giving me his puppy eyes while pouting "But you’re a cute jerk, I'll give you that!"

"That’s what I wanted to hear!" he answered and I laughed.

"Come on now little man, it’s late and you gotta go to bed!" Dad said and Liam whined a little.

"Can’t we stay a little longer? Mami and Omi are already gone! They won’t miss us!" he asked but Dad shook his head.

"Bubba, Lizzie and I have to go now anyways! We have team meetings! And they will take a long time! So you can go ahead and tomorrow at breakfast we think about what we’re doing until we have to leave for the airport at noon!" Charles said and I nodded.

"He’s right! The team meetings will take forever!" I agreed and Liam sighed.

"Okaaaay…" he said and I gave him a kiss on his cheek and hugged him.

"Good night, little one!" I whispered and Charles did the same, before passing him into Dads arms.

"Good night guys, see you tomorrow!" Dad gave me a kiss on the cheek and a side hug to Charles before he left with Liam.

"I’ll pick you up later and we leave together?" Charles asked and I nodded.

"Yep… see you later!" I smiled at him and walked back into the Audi garage.

After reviewing the fight with Carlos I was in a bad mood, although everyone said it wasn’t my fault, for some reason I wasn’t convinced. Charles opened the car door and looked at me.

"Come on, ma belle… Carlos DNF isn’t your fault!" he said and pulled me to his side "You can’t blame yourself for the mistakes of others!" he kissed my temple and gently nudged me to get in, then he closed the door, walked around the car and sat down in the drivers seat.

"But it was my mistake, I shouldn’t have tried to get past him there!" I sighed and leaned back into the seat.

"You’re too nice, I hope you know that." Charles started the engine and I rolled my eyes "I’m serious, he was this close to sending you into the barriers a couple of times. Wouldn’t you always leave him the space, he would’ve ended both your races."

"How do you wanna know? You were ahead of us." I said and watched how he effortlessly merged into the busy road.

"It has its perks being the race leader with no one behind you, you can watch the race on the screens." Charles chuckled and I boxed his shoulder.

"Ha-ha. Very funny!" I groaned and he just shrugged his shoulders "Do you really think so? That I’m too nice?"

"Lizzie, yes, the part of the track was narrow, but he turned into you when you were leaving him enough space trying to overtake him… and when he realised that this time you won’t back down, he locked up and lost the rear. So yes, I think you’re too nice. It was his mistake not yours. You defended your position like a lioness! And it got you a freaking P2!" Charles smiled at me proudly.

"Maybe I have to get my edge back, you know? Maybe I lost it a little." I said and looked out of the window.

"One thing is for sure, the old Lizzie would’ve eaten him alive… that mistake of his? You would’ve made him do that after his first attempt." Charles said and I looked at him "But it’s okay, it’s only your third race after over 2 years… for now I’m just so proud of you, ma belle!" he squeezed my knee and I smiled. Yeah maybe I had to try and get my edge back "Now we will have a nice shower, then dinner and then we’ll celebrate your P2! You’re coming closer and closer to that top step after only 3 races!"

"We’ll celebrate your win first and foremost! And then maybe my P2!" I laughed and Charles grinned "I would’ve never dreamt that this would happen one day… we’re celebrating your win and my P2 after our race in Formula 1!"

"I never ever had any doubts! You deserve this! And it’s just a matter of time until we’re celebrating your first win! I really believe in it!" he said with such determination that even I started to believe in it "But for tonight, it’s party time!"

And party time it was, the club was full, dark and loud, a whole lot of people grinding their bodies at each other, the table in front of us full of bottles of alcohol. Daniel, George, Lando, Max, Alex, Yuki and Pierre were celebrating with us.

"I’d like to say cheers to Charles for a dominating weekend and an amazing race, congrats winner! Cheers to our lovely Lizzie for defending like a lioness, sorry Max!, securing her P2! And last but not least, cheers to George for his P3, after a tough fight with Checo, you deserve it man! Cheers to that!" Daniel said and we all toasted our glasses. Shortly after we made our way onto the dance floor were I could feel my body tingle from the adrenaline and the alcohol. I felt hands on my hips and as I turned around Charles, with adorably flushed cheeks, smiled at me.

"Hey pretty girl, you come here often?" he said in an overly flirtatious tone and I giggled.

"No, but my best friend won’t like it when you’re coming this close to me, Monsieur!" I chuckled and Charles raised an eyebrow.

"I’m not worried about a best friend… would he be you boyfriend? Then maybe…" he whispered in my ear and his breath on my skin made me shudder.

"Yeah?" I replied and he looked me deep in the eyes.

"Yeah…" he answered, almost breathless, then he took my hand and dragged me with him in a dark corner.

And then it happened. My hands in his hair, his hand on my waist, the other carefully grabbing my chin. Charles pushed me slowly against the wall, his eyes on mine, then he closes them, takes a deep breath and his lips touched mine. I felt a shudder going through his body, like he couldn’t believe that this was happening. His kiss was soft, even a little shy at first and it coaxed a sigh of contentment from my mouth which he breathed in, a low groan emanating from his throat. He pecked my lips again, gently pulling away and looking deep into my eyes, as if he waited for me to pull away. Then he captured my lips in a fierce kiss again, my mind was reeling, breathing stopped, skin burned, butterflies created a tornado in my stomach. His tongue poked at my lips and I allowed him the entrance to my mouth. His tongue tasted like lime and ginger. I was high above the sky and the oxygen level in my body went down, until there was nothing left. And that was when I felt it. Fear. Panic. What were we doing? What the hell were we doing! I loved him, more than just a best friend, yes. But this could destroy everything, our friendship, our families, us. This was just the alcohol taking over. So I pushed him off of me.

"Lizzie…" he began but I brushed past him, he followed me but I was faster, losing him in the crowd. I walked out of the club, across the street and turned right and kept walking, bringing enough space between us. As I got my phone out to order an Uber I saw 5 missed calls and some texts. I ignored them and waited for the Uber.

I closed the door and sank down to the floor, trying to steady my breath. What happened? What the actual fuck just happened? For years I never acted upon my instincts, my feelings, even if they were yearning for me to do it. Even when every fibre of body was screaming at me to finally do it. The alcohol. It clouded my mind. I had way too much. My breathing ragged and I felt sick. Why did he do it? How many drinks did he have? Why didn’t he stop it? My mind was running wild and I leaned my head back at the door and took some deep breaths. I groaned and checked the time on my phone. 03:12. 17 missed calls from Charles, 6 from Pierre. 25+ messages. He would check our hotel first. I needed to get out of here. I had to book another room. I needed space. I threw all my belongings I could see in my suitcase, changed into leggings and a Hoodie, took my backpack and left the room.

"I’m sorry Miss Doetterer, there aren’t any rooms available. I could offer you one of our primary suits if you’re interested?" the lady at the front desk said and I shook my head.

"Can you order me a cab to the airport? Like now? I just book the first flight available at the airport that’s fine." I asked and she nodded and called a cab.

Charles POV:

"Where the fuck is she?" I stalked through our room into the bathroom but she was gone "Pierre, her suitcase is gone? Most of her stuff?"

"What happened back in the club, Charles? You guys were fine and then out of nowhere you weren’t anymore?" he asked and sat down on the bed.

"We kissed…" I sighed and plopped down next to him, my head was pounding, I was tired but also scared, not knowing where Lizzie was, was making me anxious.

"Oh… okay? And?" he asked and I closed my eyes.

"It was amazing… god Pierre! My whole body was on fire! And there was like a million of butterflies or whatever in my stomach going wild and crazy! Everything tingled! Her lips were so soft and that little sigh… It felt natural. It felt right. Like our bodies belong together… I can’t get enough of her… she’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of…" I said and Pierre laughed.

"Oh cabron. You’re down bad! But then again, you’ve always been for her! But it seems like she didn’t like it, or why is she gone?" he asked and I swallowed hard.

"Because she’s scared… I could see it in her eyes. She’s scared of this…" I said and he nodded.

"Let’s call the front desk? Maybe she asked for another room because she needed space?" this time I nodded, sat up and he took the phone from the night stand and made the call.

"Alright. Thank you, you too." Pierre hung up and I looked at him "So she asked for another room. There was non available, so she took a cab to the airport to check into the first flight to Europe, that was around an hour ago…"

"She’s gone?" I whispered and Pierre nodded. I fell back down again. Hands covering my face. I tried to take a deep breath but it didn’t work. My lungs were burning. Eyes stinging with tears. Because I couldn’t control my feelings, my instincts, my whatever, she felt the urge to flee the country. I pushed her into running away from me. Good fucking job, Charles.

"Charles? You ok?" Pierre asked and I shook my head, tears threatening to spill.

"What if I destroyed the one good thing in my life that I had? Lizzie gave her everything for me and I pushed her to the point where she had to flee the country?" I whispered, my voice hoarse, throat dry.

"Maybe she just needs some time to figure out her feelings for you, because even a blind guy could see that you two are in love for… basically forever?" Pierre said and I just nodded "Go to sleep now, Charles. Call her when you’re back home. You two will figure it out."

"Thanks, Pierre." I mumbled and sat up again as my phone rang, I grasped it from the bed and answered it without checking the ID "Lizzie?"

"Excuse me, who is this?" a male voice.

"Who wants to know that?" I ask confused and Pierre looked at me asking so I put the call on speaker.

"My name’s officer Matt Breckman, customs and border control, Melbourne International Airport, am I speaking to Mr. Charles Leclerc?" the male voice asked and I swallowed.

"Yes, Sir, that’s me." I answered "Can you please tell me what’s going on?"

"Are you in the possession of Miss Elisabeth Doetterer’s passport?" he asked then and before I could answer I heard a familiar voice in the background.

"He’s not in possession of my passport, I forgot it in our room when I left!" Lizzie said annoyed.

"Lizzie? What’s going on?" I asked nervously.

"Sir, we had to take Miss Doetterer into our custody after she checked in for a flight to Singapore without showing her passport, as we asked her to present it she broke down in tears. We assumed her passport was forcefully taken away from her as she ran away or something…" Officer Breckman began but Lizzie in the back interrupted him again.

"He’s not keeping it away from me and I didn’t run away from him! I simply forgot it in our hotel room!" she sounded mad.

"Officer Breckman, I can assure you her passport wasn’t taken away from her, in fact, I will get in the car and bring it to you, is that alright?" I offered and the Officer agreed.

"Thank you, Sir! Have a wonderful day!" I said and put on my biggest fake smile and he only nodded and walked away. I looked at Lizzie. Bloodshot eyes, pale, hair disheveled.

"I’m sorry that you had to come here. You probably were still partying or already fast asleep. I forgot some of my stuff while packing…" she began but I scoffed.

"You weren’t packing Lizzie, you were throwing your stuff in your suitcase and fleeing… because of me… look I’m sorry for overstepping the line… no, you know what, scratch that, I’m not sorry that I did what I always want to do near you… and you felt it t…" I began to ramble but Lizzie shook her head grabbing her backpack.

"Stop, I can’t!" she whispered and looked at me.

"Why are you running away from me? From this? What are you scared of?" I asked her but she only shook her head.

"Charles we… I need space." she whispered and with that she turned away, I gently grabbed her wrist, holding her back from leaving me.

"Don’t leave me, Lizzie. Please. Stay. Don’t leave me. Not like this. Please!" I pleaded, but she hung her head low, pulled her hand out of my grasp and walked to the security check in, not once looking back. Leaving me standing alone at the airport. And with my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces, she was gone…

————————————————————————

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 14 is out - it FINALLY happened… Lizzie and Charles kissed… and then she left him 🙈 oooopsie. What will happen next 👀 theories anyone?

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @glitterf1 @janeholt3

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

73 notes · View notes

weirdthoughtsandideas · 2 years

Text

I really shouldn’t be so worked up about people thinking we never feed our guests, cause no matter how much we explain that we of course offer food for guests, there’s always gonna be people who question us anyway + trolls just living life and exaggerating everything.

It doesn’t help that us nordic people just are socially awkward too, and that can always make us seem like we are more coldhearted than we are.

Also, just so y’all know: We aren’t the biggest food people, we’re more into fika (Google it) - we’re very happy and eager to offer you coffee, cookies and whatever we baked/bought from the bakery. But when it comes to offering dinner, we’re often more awkward - we can be like ”are you eating here or are you eating home?” - and the guest can be awkward about it to, ”No it’s ok, I’ll eat at home” or ”I’ll eat here… if it’s ok”. And that’s just how it is. We’re awkward about it, but of course, we will offer food? And if you’re staying the night, then you will OBVIOUSLY get dinner + breakfast guaranteed.

And perhaps it doesn’t matter if I explain that, cause people might think it’s weird anyway and question it. Or other swedes who don’t agree with me. We’re all different.

Anyway, don’t jump to big conclusions for a country you don’t even live in and have never been to - the craziest people will always be the ones you hear about, just like with any country. Like I have heard so much weird stories about people from America and it’s often I can jump to conclusions everyone in America acts like them - which I at the end of the day know is not true.

#if people wanna think we are coldhearted monsters then I guess they can think so #i mean I question so much things americans do so #Sweden

1K notes · View notes

splickedylit · 7 months

Text

Domestic Diplomacy III proceeds apace

(==>Jade: hear the holy and hilarious word)

Gamzee is in the next room over, sitting on a big squishy-looking pillow in a kind of cross-legged sprawl that makes it really clear how his legs don’t bend in the same ways human legs do. You’re delighted to realize, for the first time, that troll feet are padded like their palms. You hadn’t thought about it—the chitin claws cover almost the whole toe the same way they cover pretty much the whole finger, and they don’t seem to spread a whole lot, so it’s easy for your brain to read them as hoof-like and move on. But there’s little beans down there!

Alien contact really is just the gift that keeps on giving. What a good day already.

Karkat is occupied bustling and hustling around greeting people like the bossiest little mother hen—(And take off those, the fucking foot-clothes, my hive is clean, don’t you put shit and dirt on the ground! Put them here, by the, tss, the, damn…in-and-out place!)—so you stroll over into the other room and lower yourself onto the floor to watch whatever it is Gamzee’s looking at.

You kind of thought maybe he’d started movie night early, but he doesn’t seem to be watching a movie. He has something that looks a lot like a normal human tablet propped up on a table, and he’s watching what looks like a live feed of a huge room full of other trolls, with a guy at the front talking.

“<—(A sentence subject you must have missed) is the funniest (implied:warning-shot-level danger) motherfucking make-mess the (something)s could do to make want,>” says the troll at the front of the crowd, succinctly proving to you that Gamzee is not the only troll who seems to think more verbs is better and sentence order is a pointless invention. The guy talking doesn’t sound exactly the same, but he stretches his hums and chirrs and growls out and piles his clicks together in a really similar way. “<We’re all (body parts?) up in the air, down up our (whole/entire) motherfucking horns in dirt. (Some kind of noun with the food-descriptor ‘sweet’ in it) on our (body part again? It sounds like a compound word of ‘face’, sort of) and that isn’t a motherfucking mistake. It’s no motherfucking mistake, brothers!”

Gamzee says some kind of emphatic imperative verb—in a polite, subordinate inflection, which is pretty unusual for him. On the screen, a few other people do the same thing, mostly saying words you don’t know—one of them you hear says “<Say it, motherfucker!>” and another one says “<Yes, brother, yes!>” with the heaviest subordinate inflection you’ve ever heard. Somebody else honks a bike horn.

#Splickedydrabbles #gamzee makara #Domestic Diplomacy #karkat vantas #jade harley #homestuck #sorry karkat you schedule your movie night on whatever the clown equivalent of sunday is you get to entertain guests while your moirail-#-goes 'preach'! at the tablet and honks a horn sometimes. these are the dangers of Church Boyfriend lmao

55 notes · View notes

sasster · 4 months

Text

Walking on Glass

And I do solemnly swear that this is the last set of new trolls I make for a long while.

So what’s the Colmea guy’s deal, anyway? [doc]

-- “Now you’ve really done it.” The child, and she can’t be more than five sweeps old, smiles around a juicebox from her perch. “He’s not going to be happy about this one little bit.” Her warning fills you with just enough dread that it roots you in place.

The he in question is, for the short time that you’ve known each other, very particular of the fungal colonies that throng throughout the lab like a great big web. Some of them in larger terrariums cobbled together and the others in their much smaller quarantines. He was more protective of these small quarantined batches than he was of anything else, even the aquarium that sits nearly ceiling to floor and across the back wall of the lab, housing a handful of species of jellyfish, with the largest, and need for such ample volume, being his overgrown lusus. Nemopilema nomurai, he once whispered into your ear when he caught you staring at her.

She is quite the daunting thing, with what must be a ten or fifteen-foot diameter and countless feet of long sprawling tentacles, tendrils, and tangles of some sort of marine fungus weaving around and within them. He never offered a scientific name or approximate for it, and to be fair, you never asked.

Conversations with the man always centered around his research, his precious colonies, that you’d been helping him with. The science he always mumbled, mostly to himself, was difficult to parse on a good day, on a bad day he stopped pretending to try altogether.

Your role, as far as he was concerned, as far as you understood, was only a very small part.

A collective consciousness. The only colony that survived the interaction with your mutation to the point that you started to become one. Once again, the science of it all was lost on you, something about parasitic symbiosis or some other, but the piece of it he’d gotten into you somehow took root and you’d found yourself actually talking to it.

Making decisions with it.

It was only natural you’d want to get a closer and better look at it, right?

“It was a mistake.” Is all you can manage, staring at the ground that almost glitters with the way the ambient lights of the tanks shine off of the glass of one of the smaller, now shattered, terrariums that litters the floor. Many of the stray shards lance through the colony in places that look fatal even to the untrained eye.

“It was a mistake.” She mimics, not quite getting the cadence right, but the road work is there, so there’s maybe a future in ventriloquism for the kid. “I think he’s gonna feed you to Big Mama.” She indicates the tank with the massive jellyfish in it, punctuating the thought with the insufferable sound a straw makes when it reaches the end of a drink.

Colmea couldn’t be that unreasonable, could he?

As if summoned, and you don’t think she sent for him, the door opens as soon as the fear creeps up on you.

There is a severe way that the doctor has about carrying himself, a stern expression attached to whatever it is he lets his gaze fall on. Right now that is solidly on you. The gravity of the situation and the weight of the girl’s words leave you incapable of removing yourself from the scene of the crime, after all. You’d only reached a harmless hand in to touch it, how could you predict this outcome?

“It was a mistake.” You whisper desperately as he fully enters the room, the picture of serenity, taking in the scene before him. He does not regard you or what you’ve had to say for yourself.

Even if the colony was not sliced through as it was, the abrupt displacement from its aquatic habitat would have done enough on its own to paint a grim scene, splattered across the floor like an abstract painting. He surveys the damage quietly, a ponderous god, visage poisoned by the blue and pink glow of the lights within neighboring tanks. Now his gaze flits about from shard of glass to shard of glass, as though looking for answers in the mosaic they make up on the floor.

Everything in the lab has become remarkably still, even the girl in the corner has ceased vacuuming the bottom of the juice box in favor of savoring the silence that smothers the room, deafening even over the bubbling of the surrounding tanks.

Colmea does not rush in, ready to collapse to the floor and mourn the loss of his experiment, instead he is carried further into the room by slow and deliberate steps, each one a soft tap against linoleum that crushes the glass beneath it. The answers to questions that he does not bother voicing slotting into his mind as he advances, and if those answers change any part of his expression, which you suspect it doesn’t, it goes unnoticed when his contemplative steps take him into the shadow of his colossal lusus.

Far too long passes before he is standing directly in front of you. Very briefly, a crack in his veneer provides a view into the ever-feared high blood rage bubbling beneath the surface.

“Myriad,” he addresses the girl, still up on her perch by the edge of the jellyfish enclosure. “The colony?”

Myriad makes a face like she is seriously concentrating, an expression you’ve come to understand means she is reaching into her mind to find her natural connection to the fungal colonies that surround her. Not as a member of the collective, but as an eavesdropper. Her game goes on for too long and it is clear that she is only playing up the dramatics, reveling in your dread, when the pensive god clears his throat.

“Dead as a doornail!” She reports, cheery as she was when she delivered her taunts moments before his arrival. It should hurt, but you already knew. You felt it, a part of you, die the second the tank hit the floor. “No survivors, wiped out!”

The ghost of something horrific crosses behind his eyes.

He nods.

His demeanor does not betray him and there is no warning when he strikes, just the stinging feeling left behind by a backhand that causes you to lose your balance. With a hideous crunch, your knees fall into the ruin below, the salty remnants from the enclosure mingles with the fresh wounds and sends a significant shock through your system. So significant in fact, that you make neither a move nor a sound.

Colmea shakes his hand loose, the anger that boils just beneath but never quite breaking the surface places a dangerous dose of malice behind his eyes.

“Myriad, find me a broom.” He commands, and as soon as it leaves his mouth, her feet hit the ground right behind you with a crunch that makes you wince. A stifled giggle followed by her plodding along tells you it was an intentional assault on her part.

His hand is wrapped up in your hair before the door closes behind her and he lifts you up to meet his eye line, all the while winding more and more of it up until he finds scalp, as though he is handling something that weighs about the same as a stuffed animal.

There is no growling, no deep orange eyes signaling danger, just a furrowed brow and a deep sigh. “I had such high hopes for you.”

“I,” you start to plead your case, tears welling at the corners of your eyes at the realization that your mutation did not make you special enough, but he does not give you the opportunity to continue. Instead, your face is acquainted with the glass of the aquarium with such force that it rattles the base of the enclosure and causes some of the smaller species of jellies inside to send off bright sparks of light, in hopes of startling whatever predator they assume has invaded.

All they really succeed in is disorienting you all the more, your face making contact a second and third time before stars start to decorate your vision and the edges begin to blur. Something cracks, and it is not the glass.

Still, the angered god does not growl or snarl. Nor does his reflection, warped by a myriad of things between the forming concussion and the glass of the aquarium, broadcast anything beyond his mild indifference.

Your face hits the glass a few more times before the girl returns from her quest and he finally relents, dropping you to the floor with a sigh. In the same moment, the stars in your vision become angry black splotches, eagerly rushing out to meet those blurred edges.

#colmea #myriad #long post #coko writes sometimes

43 notes · View notes

xxnomadsxx · 3 months

Text

Nomads AU! Creek just ….sucks man….I don’t have a real title..he just sucks

Creek was welcomed into the village after telling everyone he was the “SoLe sUrvIvOr of Pop viLlAge~” (she said sarcastically) he basically became “friends” with Branch through Bergen trauma.

In the village he is basically a huge dick to everyone. He just insults the trolls about there trauma and grayness but in a way where it doesn’t sound like an insult but u feel insecure anyway. Some have caught on to this behavior and chalk it up to a weird coping mechanism, and besides he’s basically “best buddies” with the king (or that’s how Creek makes it sound) in reality it’s more like Branch is very tolerable about his behavior because he feels bad and just lets him do whatever, I mean no one’s complained to him yet (he sees it in the way how others sarcastically insults one another in a friendly way…he is stupid at times) besides Creek being just the worst, he did become the village guru (a spot no one really needed filled just saying ) with that title he made a yoga class and tries to bestow wisdom on the village trolls….which is usually just really awful advice.

The feral (trolls?) dislike him and think about kicking him out…. or use him for bait (Creek doesn’t have enough meat on his bones for their taste) Branch’s second in command has actually tried to eat him once.. the only reason they stopped is because Creek agreed to feed them his hair (that thing would eat anything)

Overall the village hates him, and Branch is giving him the benefit of the doubt and lets him be around him, but Branch kinda sorta (not really) sees him as friend. Creek on the other hand just likes the protection he gets from being Branch’s friend, Creek’s really nice to him but secretly finds him way to negative and a nuisance(wow-, what a two faced bi-) he also will deny that he likes him- I mean Whaaaaaaattt!!

(I’m trying to decide if a very one sided lowkey kinda toxic Breek should be a thing in this universe, eh I’ll figure it out )

42 notes · View notes

emilykaldwen · 4 months

Text

2024 Don’t Feed the Trolls.

Mutuals, should someone come into your inbox with my name in their mouth, do not engage or feel like I need defender. Just block.

Anon, IDK if you’re serious or not, or if I’m just a random name you’re picking today, but if you are serious, do not go after my mutuals like this.

Also for whatever it’s worth: this is not a popular blog. I’m not some big name fan. I’m not having parties across discord in four dozen servers where everyone is clamoring for my attention. I’m just obnoxious about my fic and my characters. If I wanted to be popular, I would have Anon on so more people might ask me about things/willing to talk more.

I’m just an old person whose writing Aegon fic in a fandom that’s very rancid. Gotta curate my experience.

#about me #I’m very tired

20 notes · View notes

mistress-ofmagic · 1 year

Text

Around the Realms in 80 days- Chapter 18

Pairing: Reader x Loki

Story summary: You have fallen through a portal during the convergence into Asgard and come face to face with Thor, and his brother Loki. With no way to return, you must travel with the two men and their hoard of asgardian soldiers to get back home. Things get from bad to worse when you have to share a tent with the god of mischief himself.

Notes: Oh hi there! Welcome to another chapter (this Is pretty good timing for me, two chapters in a month? Who says I don't feed you! This was a fun chapter to write, I did a lil bit of breaking the 4th wall here lol! I know a lot of you hated Latte to begin with because she was a lil nervy and didn’t always stick up for herself (Im only going off on what I would be like guys lmao some of us are very soft and not at all brave or heroic) and I know she’s a bit of a reluctant hero or an anti-hero, she'd much rather be chilling somewhere with her coffee than faced with this shit!

Anyway, enjoy!

Read this story on a03!

find all parts to this story on Tumblr here

Jesus Christ…” You muttered under your breath as you stormed off, leaving Stark Towers behind you.

“Uh…Latte?”

You span round to face Oliver, who was having to do a fast pace walk to catch up with you.

“What?” You asked rather sharper than you intended.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, that’s so embarrassing. It’s been…”

“Stressful morning?” Oliver grinned good-naturedly.

You sighed. “Kind of.”

“I can’t imagine. Where do you want to go?”

“Honestly I don’t know the city at all.” You forced a smile, trying to forget L-O-K-I and enjoy the rest of your day.

“Where would you recommend?”

Oliver smiled again. He was a smiley person, you noticed. Unlike he-who-shall-not-be-named who usually looked unimpressed at best, especially when you were around. He looked cute again today; it felt strange seeing him without his lab coat on, as if he was missing something somehow. He was wearing jeans and a graphic tee-shirt, his brown hair tousled again as if he constantly runs his hands through it, and his hazel eyes seemed to light up when he smiled. His face was open and sincere, again unlike Loki who was closed and harsh. Maybe there was something to be said of their life experiences though; while you didn’t know much about Oliver and his life, you doubted he had ever tried to take over an entire planet and been defeated and imprisoned.

Still…suppose you can never be too careful. Enough tinder dates had taught you that.

You realised you had been staring at him and hadn’t listened at all to his response.

“Sorry, what did you say?” You asked sheepishly.

He laughed, “I suggested we could go to the museum of modern art? Or if you would prefer to just see some sights we could go to times square…?”

“Museum sounds good. Sorry, I’m a little distracted.”

He chucked as you started heading off in the direction of the museum together. The day continued to be pleasant enough and you actually began to enjoy your stroll despite the way the morning had gone.

Oliver broke the cordial silence.

“So then, I guess the number one question…how did you get landed with the task of being Loki’s…companion?”

“Companion?” You screwed your face up.

Oliver laughed, “well, whatever you’d call your relationship.”

“I try not to call it anything.” You muttered under your breath.

You begin to explain the situation to Oliver, and the rollercoaster that was yours and Loki’s so called “relationship”.

Oliver gave a low whistle after you finally finished regaling him with your sorry tale of woe.

“Man…that’s heavy.”

“Horrible isn’t it.” You sighed glumly.

“I can’t believe you got kidnapped!”

“Kidnapped, bullied by trolls, meeting Loki, it’s been the worst of times.”

He laughed and you scowled at him.

“It’s not funny, my life is a Shakespearen tragedy.”

“No no, of course not, I’m sorry. Is meeting Loki really as bad as being attacked by trolls?”

“Far, far worse.”

For some reason, Oliver seemed to think you were joking and laughed.

But…you do seem to find yourself in some scrapes don’t you.”

“Scrapes find me, I am merely a passive entity to which disaster finds.”

“I find that a little difficult to believe, given that by the sounds of it you basically begged to stay here.” Olivers eyes twinkled with good-hearted mirth.

“That’s…that’s beside the point.”

“Of course, of course. You know…I’m not so sure though.”

“About what?”

“If I didn’t know any better, and despite all your complaining, I’d say you rather enjoy traveling around with Loki.”

You spluttered, “What? What are you trying to say?”

“Loki this, Loki that. I’m just saying, for someone who hates him so, you do enjoy talking about him.”

You stared at him, horrified. An awful though suddenly appeared…over the past few weeks had you managed to pass the Bechdel test?

“That’s not…” The words got stuck in your throat.

Maybe Oliver could tell how nauseated you were because he said gently,

“I’m joking Latte. It sounds like you’ve been through hell and back. You’ve been so brave I’m not sure many people could do what you have done.”

You blushed and stuttered for a different reason.

“I’m sure that’s not true. Besides I didn’t really have a choice. Sink or swim I guess. I was pretty cowardly to begin with, I let Loki scare the shit out of me. I’m not…a brave person, I’m not particularly tough.”

“I would disagree, the story you just told me would suggest otherwise. Jesus knows I couldn’t have done half the things you did, I would have laid in the corner and cried.”

You snorted.

“Arguably, that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing.”

“You’re the hero, you have to go through some sort of journey.” Oliver winked at you.

“Oh please, I’m definitely the anti-hero, the people at home watching the inevitable film of my life will be screaming at the tv I’m sure.”

“Well, anti-hero or not, I’d watch that movie.”

You really wanted to make a snide comment about that making Loki the villain in this particular story, but you kept your mouth shut given that Oliver seemed to think you were infatuated with the Asgardian God. Definitely not true, by the way.

“Sure, ‘my life as the worlds worst avenger’ coming to cinemas soon.”

“I think I’d prefer ‘How to train your fire demon.’” Oliver joined in.

“Or, ‘Asgardian Psycho.” You snorted, thinking back to Loki.

“What about ‘An Earthling in Asgard?”

You grinned, “it’s good, but a little on the nose, plus I’m not just in Asgard anymore, I’m quite the realm traveler.”

“Fine then, how about ‘Around the Realms in 80 days.”

You laughed, “That’s not bad, you never know with the rate things are going I might end up doing just that.”

“How are you feeling about your upcoming trip?”

You sighed, a little wave of anxiety settling into your stomach.

“Pretty nervous. I’m not sure who I think I’m kidding being here in the first place, and now apparently I’m traveling to a dangerous realm of fire and brimstone, where I’ll probably get myself killed no doubt.” You paused,

“Sorry, I don’t mean to offload! It can’t be much worse than the current state of things anyway.”

“Please, don’t feel bad!”

“Maybe some modern art will cheer me up. Hey, actually, how did you find out my stupid nickname?” You asked, realising he had been calling you your misnomer.

Oliver laughed sheepishly,

“Well, I heard Thor call you that when he was talking to Stark yesterday.”

“Oh god, what did he say?”

“Only good things!” Oliver hurried to reassure you. “Just discussing your amazing performance with the demon in the cell.”

“Hm, I don’t believe you but for the sake of my self-esteem I won’t press further.”

After a short walk, you made it to the museum and followed Oliver inside. You insisted on paying for your own ticket, of course.

You had just about settled into an enjoyable afternoon, wandering around the exhibits when your phone starting beeping. You ignored it at first and then your phone started ringing.

You stared at it and blinked twice as Loki’s named popped up on your phone. It had also been him texting you apparently. The message flashed on your screen.

Loki: There’s an emergency

“Is everything okay? You look ill.” Oliver asked.

“This can’t be good.” You sighed. “Let me take this.”

You walked over to the entrance of the exhibit as to not disturb everyone there.

“Loki?”

“Hello little mortal, enjoying yourself on your, what do the young midgardians call it, A date?” Loki spoke lazily.

“Its not a date!” You hissed loudly into the phone, raising some eyebrows around you.

“It’s not a date.” You repeated again quietly as you turned your back.

“I think the lady doth protest too much.”

“Seriously what is wrong with you?”

“Not much, what’s up with you?”

You could basically feel Loki’s irritating grin through the phone.

“God you give me whiplash. What do you want Loki I’m busy.”

“Not too busy to pick up the phone I see.” You could hear a smug tone to his voice.

“I only picked it up because you said it was an emergency.”

“What emergency could I possibly need your help with.”

“Okay, goodbye Loki.”

“Wait, actually there is an emergency.”

You sighed and rubbed your forehead. Man, this god was going to turn you grey.

“What?” You snapped. You were in no doubt there was no emergency and Loki was ringing you to just mess with you.

There was a pause on the phone. You considered hanging up before he finally continued,

“Stark has arranged for a movie night tonight and we all have to attend.” In his defence Loki sounded very glum, as if something horrible had truly happened.

“That’s not an emergency Loki. Now excuse me while I go back to my not date.”

“Where are you?” He asked.

Your eyes narrowed suspiciously, and you looked around you, scared incase he popped up from behind a statue or something.

“Were in the museum of modern art. Why?”

“No need to sound so distrustful.” Loki sounded amused, “I had no idea you were such a connoisseur of fine art, you never struck me as the type.”

You bristled at his insinuation that you were not sophisticated enough to enjoy art.

“I actually love going to museums. Just because I don’t walk around acting like I’m the dogs bollocks doesn’t mean I’m not cultured.”

“Do you have to use such crass language when we speak?”

“Do we have to speak at all?” You retorted back, still scanning the room slightly just incase he showed up.

“I visited your planet with Odin and Thor when I was a child and we visited a place called Rome, they had a great number of many museums.”

“Oh? Was this when Julius Caesar was still in power?”

Loki ignored your comment,

“Of course, not as many as we have on Asgard. Since you are so interested in museums I can visit together the next time we visit.” He spoke lightly.

You paused, was Loki asking you out? And not just because he had to because of the whole babysitting thing?

“Uh, yeah. I guess I didn’t think that I would go back though, to Asgard. Odin wasn’t mighty pleased I was there in the first place.”

“Odin is not usually mighty pleased about anything, especially if I’m involved.” He kept his voice light and humorous, but there was something deeper underneath.

The admission came as a surprise, you weren’t that used to Loki speaking about his feelings (kind of) so easily and you were stumped for a response.

“Well New York has plenty of museums too.” You offered, unsure of what else to say.

“Indeed.”

The phone went quiet again. It really was unsettling how quickly the two of you seemed to go from arguing to tolerating each other, and even more unsettling, the occasional moments of companionship with a hint of friendship.

Not that you were sure he would put you in that category with the way he had recently snapped at you; when you’d tried to enquire about his parenthood and just before you came on this not date. Although he had also magicked your up a new wardrobe and seemed to get very upset when he thought you were dying so that had to count for something, right?

Come to think of it, you never actually really addressed the whole “friendship” thing after that long talk the other night on the balcony, where Loki had finally stopped acting like a dick for long enough as to apologise for his actions and have a serious conversation about where you stood with him. He had really opened up then, about how he felt about getting close to mortals. You supposed you couldn’t really be too shocked then, when he seemed to distance himself from you a little the last few days.

The hot and cold act was not enjoyable but was almost understandable if you saw things from his perspective. You just had to be careful not to get burnt or frozen in the process.

Not that anyone wants to look at things from Lokis perspective for too long, they’d get a migraine.

Look at you being all mature and shit!

You thought back to those nights of sharing a tent with Loki, it felt so long ago now despite not being long ago at all. You had been so scared of him then, so unsure of how he would react next.

Now? Well he was still a mystery and could still be a complete arse, but perhaps he was opening up to you, slowly. You needed to be patient but only to an extent right, he was obviously a complex guy; not that that gave him a right of passage to be a knob.

“What are you up to then now?” You asked.

To your surprise, Loki played along.

“Well now you’re gone I get to enjoy some peace and quiet for once, reading my books.”

You almost hit back with “so that’s why you called me then, is it?” But stopped yourself. You realised then that Loki was bored. That’s why he’d been so annoyed that you had spent the afternoon with Oliver. Probably.

I mean, aside from you and Thor, it’s not like he had a lot of friends from what you had seen. Another thing the two of you actually had in common. You didn’t have a lot of friends here either.

You bit down on your nails, an old habit you had whenever you felt anxious about something.

“Stop that dreadful noise or I shall put the phone down.”

Only paying half attention, you stepped back into someone and banged your side pretty hard.

“Ow, dickhead.” You muttered as they shot you a dirty look and walked off.

“What? What’s happening?” Loki barked.

“Oh nothing, just this asshole walking into me.”

“Was it that Midgardian boy?”

“What midgardian boy?” You asked absent-mindedly. “Oh shit, Oliver.” You suddenly remembered your not-date probably wondering what the hell you were doing.

“Anyway, I should get back to…I’ll see you later.”

“yes.” Loki said stiffly “I’d hate to keep you from your beau.”

“Nobody says beau anymore by the way. S’later.”

“Goodbye mortal.”

You hung up your phone and quickly went to rejoin Oliver.

“Hey, sorry I took so long.”

“Everything okay?”

“Literally fine, he just wanted to complain about Tonys movie night or something.”

“Look at you, movie nights with the Avengers!”

“I know, I’m going up in the world. Careful what you say to me now, I’ve got the force of Earths defenders on my side.”

Oliver chuckled and held his hands up.

“I see that. Remind me not to get on the wrong side of you.”

You turned back to the photography exhibit, wondering what it would actually be like to visit a museum with Loki one day.

***

You wandered back into the towers later that evening. After the museum, you had gone for a few drinks with Oliver and, as it was, you were feeling rather tipsy.

Actually, this was the second time you had been tipsy in the last few days, you reminded yourself, better not make it a habit.

Still, Oliver was cute, right?

Not rip-my-clothes-off-and-take-me cute, but cute all the same.

He was very sweet and funny too and although you maybe saw him as friend-material at the moment, that didn’t mean something couldn’t happen in the future. Plus it was nice to have a friend that wasn’t a hundred year plus old god.

You could get used to the city living, although there was a part of you that missed the Asgardian country side too.

The atrium into Stark Towers took your breath away, you felt far too unsophisticated to be staying there. It was not the sort of place you’d ever particularly imagined yourself but you were going to enjoy your time for as long as you had. Grinning, probably overly familiarly in your slightly drunken state, at the security and receptionists on the ground floor you made your way over to the lift, preparing to stand there for all of eternity due to the many floors. You decided to turn your phone back on to check for any messages you missed after turning your phone off earlier to save battery.

Two missed calls and a few texts from Loki?

Loki: When are you retuning mortal it is nearly dark?

Loki: Mortal?

Loki: Answer my calls right this instance or there will be consequences.

Loki: Loki, Prince of Asgard.

You snorted and replied.

You: Why did you text me your own name, weirdo. What’s up?

And for the fun of it, you sent him a little gif of the “wazup” scene in Scary Movie.

Making your way up the many floors in Starks state of the art lift, you waited for Loki to reply.

Loki: How dare you not answer me when I asked you to. Clearly, you needed reminding of who I am. Secondly, what, in all of the nine realms is that?

You: Firstly, I’m not just at your beck and call Loki, I was a bit busy. Secondly, It’s a gif. It’s just like a moving picture that you send to be funny.

Loki: Busy? With that midgardian boy? Disgusting. I didn’t find the moving picture particularly amusing. Please don’t send me one again.

You: Get your mind out of the gutter.

You were hit with a sudden inspiration. You quickly searched for the gif you wanted and found it. Who knew there were so many Loki gifs. The particular one you were after was Loki shouting “kneel” to the ground in Stuttgart during his last soiree to Earth.

Loki: ?

Loki: It is imperative that you tell me how you acquired this.

You laughed out loud to yourself, as you put your phone away wishing you could see Loki’s face as you had send that gif.

You figured, given the time, that Stark would have already started the film night, so you headed towards the most likely lounge areas on the penultimate floor. Your guess was right, and you could see through the glass doors the Avengers sat around watching what you were pretty sure was Kill Bill.

The sight made you giggle, and you remembered you needed to try very hard at not being a little bit drunk. You were pretty sure the Avengers all thought you were slightly strange to begin with, you needed to change their mind.

You shushed yourself aloud, and prepared to enter quietly and normally. Quietly and normally. Quietly and normally.

You pushed the door slightly and entered. So far so good, no one had particularly noticed you entering. Quiet and normal. Excellent. You scanned the room, looking for an empty seat. Your long distance eye sight wasn’t great as it is thanks to years of starting at screens and it was pretty dark, but you thought there was one free near Thor so you headed over silently.

That was, until, someone very rudely had put a pouff right in your way and you tripped up, slamming your knees into the side of a sofa.

“Shit” You yelled, rather loudly.

All the Avengers in the room turned and started at you.

“Nice of you to join us Wonderland, please come in.” Stark said, dryly.

You grinned wildly, deciding it best not to say anything, and took the closest seat.

“Mortal.” A low voice spoke to your left.

“Oh for gods sake” You muttered and glared at Loki for the audacity of sitting where you were now forced to sit.

Loki seemed amused by this reaction and smirked at you irritatingly. You glared even harder and then faced the TV.

“You’re back very late.” Loki spoke softly next to you, with a note of contention in his voice.

You decided to ignore him, and tried to focus on the film. You’d never actually seen Kill Bill all the way through and coming in half way was pretty confusing. Loki tried again.

“I hope you haven’t been fraternising with your mortal boy?”

“Stop accusing me of fraternising every three seconds, and it’s none of your business even if I was." You huffed out of the corner of your mouth, as to not disturb the rest of them.

Loki looked annoyingly happy that you had risen to the bait.

“I’m going to get popcorn.” You mumbled, and stood up to head towards the back of the room where the snacks and were.

You stood up too quickly and had to grab the sofa and a blink a couple of times until the black dots stopped floating in front of you. You suppressed the need to giggle and made your way over to the back, being very careful to watch where you placed your feet.

The lights were on towards the back and you squinted to get used to the light change. You hummed about the snack bar; Stark, or more likely someone who worked for him, had thought of literally every snack you might need to watch a film.

Pick and Mix, chocolate, popcorn, and plenty of treats you’d never even seen before.

“What are these?” A voice spoke behind you.

You jumped in the air, very nearly spilling the popcorn you had picked up.

“Jesus Loki.”

You looked around to see if anyone had noticed, but you were pretty far back and out of ear shot around this area.

“Can you not?”

“Not what? He asked, with a fake innocence.

“Not…do whatever you’re doing now.”

“I’m merely standing here.”

“And here I was thinking you had better things to do than stand and talk to Midgardians.” You repeated his words from earlier back at him.

Loki rolled his eyes at you.

“You surely know how to hold a grudge.”

“I surely do bitch.”

He didn’t find this very funny and shot you a displeased look.

“You are drunk again.”

You tutted and made double sure no one was listening.

“I’m not drunk Low-key.” You elongated his name as you helped yourself to some more sweets “I am a little tipsy maybe. Also you make it sound like all I do is constantly drink.”

“Well you have been drunk twice in barely as many days.”

“That was your brothers fault remember?”

He let out a long suffering sigh, as if he didn’t particularly want to remember.

“What are you eating?” He crinkled his nose up as you scuffed another gobful of popcorn.

“Popcorn.” You said, with your mouth half full.

“Are mortals taught any table manners at all?” He asked, disapprovingly.

“Do you not have popcorn on Asgard.”

He looked down at the spread of snacks.

“No.” He said carefully.

“Well what do you eat for sweets then?”

“I suppose we have nuts and grapes.”

“Some nuts and grapes? Christ no wonder you’re so highly strung.”

You gathered a plate up for him with selection of all the amazing confectionary Earth had to offer. “Here, try these.”

You stared at him in excitement as he ate a handful of Haribos.

“Well?”

“Hm. I’m not sure I enjoy this texture.”

“Try this next!” You very nearly shoved some popcorn into his mouth in your excitement and then realised that would probably get you killed, which would have been messy in Starks fancy lounge; so you just pointed to it instead.

Watching Loki try new things was surprisingly very entertaining to you. It was unusual to see Loki look so unsure of himself, as normally he swanned around cocky as anything.

You sighed, thinking back once again to the other night on the balcony. Loki was very good at brushing over any moments of vulnerability, even though he occasionally showed it in moments like this.

With his slightly furrowed forehead and quizzical expression as he tried earthly sweets was the epitome of vulnerable.

Loki made eye contact with you while you stared at him and swallowed his sweets down.

“Why are you looking at me like that mortal?” He asked, suspiciously.

“Nothing.” You smiled to yourself

“Now you are smiling like a loon. I hope you are not loosing your mind over that boy. We have a mission to complete, or have you forgotten?” He frowned at you, disgruntled.

“How could I forget the fact I’m heading to a burning wasteland soon.” You said sadly, thinking of your up and coming trip which, at best, ends in your death.

“There is no reason to be nervous. You have proved yourself rather difficult to maim.” Loki stated, deliberately.

“Physically maybe but I’m going to need a hell of a lot of therapy when this is over.” You muttered. “Suppose I should enjoy this last moment of calm before the storm.”

“What storm?” Loki asked cautiously.

“It’s just a figure of speech.”

“Hm.” Loki made a non committal humming noise.

“Let’s go finish off the film, I need the escapism.”

You sat back down together and tried to refocus on the film. You mind kept wandering however and you remained restless.

Were things between you and Loki changing? How many Loki gifs could you send of himself before he murdered you in your sleep?

And, most importantly, what fresh hell awaited you in the realm of fire?

A/N: Who enjoyed my fourth wall break (kinda?) haha! Also keep tuned folks for some more plot (finally) after a couple of plot-less chapters!

Taglist:

@creationsbyme @kikster606 @slytherinintj13 @th0rswh0res @huntress-artemiss @jannieka394 @stefffrs @misswimberly @thedistractedagglomeration @yoongissidebitchh @purplekitten30 @mischief2sarawr @johnmurphys-sass

@lonadane @imalovernotahater @lokisgoodgirl @laliceee @dlwrish @paetonnn

#loki #loki odinson #loki of asgard #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki x reader #loki x reader insert #loki smut #loki fanfic #tom hiddleston #loki laufyson #loki (marvel)#loki series

111 notes · View notes

blade-that-was-broken · 24 days

Note

I’m still stuck on your idea that John Dory is like influential enough to the pop genre of music composition and song writing that his work is analyzed in college level music composition and music theory classes. Cause it’s like one thing if every song he ever wrote is in the top of the charts but it’s another thing to get featured as a person of interest in a music composition class and it feeds so well into my theory that JD spent the 20 years he was traveling on Rhonda and not really working living off of royalties cause he could have been writing textbooks on song writing and shit. He could have been like contacted by colleges and asked to give Ted talks and guest lectures on how to blend multiple voices into a near perfect harmony.

John Dory is like the Lady Gaga of the troll world not in the sense like their music is remotely similar but because they both view music as art and are perfectionists with it. Because they hold their work to the highest standard and make sure it’s the highest possible quality. Which I think is like partially the root behind why JD went so perfectionist with the band in particular. Regardless of why it started and why it ended JD cared deeply that every aspect of their performances were revolutionary, were perfect. People compare jds perfectionism and demands of his brothers to velvets demands of vener and desire for fame. But they really could not be more different in reality because as their songs reveal JD cares about perfection he will not cut corners with his work with his performances. He wants his art to be 100% flawless and be a revolutionary work of art because he is an Artist and performance is his canvas. I don’t think that JD cares about being famous or making money beyond enough to support his family and invest in his art. Velvet is fundamentally different. She doesn’t care about the quality of her and veneirs work, doing any of it herself or her fans at all she just wants to be rich and famous.

Kinda getting off topic here but anyway I think JD would be delighted that people are analyzing his art and being inspired by it because he put hella work into it. Brozone was his passion project that combined his two favorite things his family and his art and he definitely loves his family more than his art and he doesn’t really care too much about hitting the perfect family harmony anymore beyond saving Floyd but I still really do think he is proud of the work he put into brozone despite hating the way it ended and would be so flattered that other are dissecting the meaning and depth behind his word choices and music composition. And I also think if the troll world had like Broadway JD would love musical theatre so much. Anyway this is my official take on why I see jd as a music/art/theater snob.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

One: I love when people do the whole "thank for coming to my ted talk" it makes me laugh and I love to laugh.

Two: I think it would be so FUNNYYYYY. Even more so if John had absolutely ZERO clue about what was happening. There is SO much he could have done but like, naw, he's just gonna become a perpetual camper/survivalist and have virtually nothing to his name that HE knows of. Like, one of those famous rich hermits except he doesn't know he's famous or rich. I'm sorry, just way too funny.

I love the idea that JD puts so much thought and care and study/hardwork - along with his natural talent - into his music. Like, sure, it probably helps that he's naturally good at it but I think he really tries to do the best he can. And I think Brozone would be very limiting in certain areas. Like, yes, there is his whole blending of individual parts as a whole, harmonies, and group work. But Brozone is probably meant more for entertainment than much else. It's a performance. When he leaves and if he keeps writing, I think he'd expand in the things he does. Or whatever. I've got too many thoughts and feelings haha lol

OOOOHHHH I kinda like that thought. I don't know much about Lady Gaga or really listened to her music but I understand the perfectionism thing. I always used to say practice makes perfect (and more recently, practice makes progress) so I think I can understand the concept alright. I think it's so interesting people compare him to Velvet sometimes when honestly, they seem like polar opposites. Velvet doesn't want to work at all, she doesn't care for her craft, she doesn't want to practice, she has no talent or even tries to work up to having talent. JD on the other hand, worked too much, put everything into his craft and probably practiced too much. He's got the talent, sure, but he also WORKED for it too.

I think a part of him would be delighted because - HOW COOL - and a part of him would be like but... why??? I know people tend to see him as egotistical or whatever but I think he really loved what he did and he put a lot into it. Idk how much his family really cares about their music, especially anymore, but I think JD would still be proud of it and guess what? He should. It was popular and people liked it. He should be proud of what they accomplished, even if nearing the end things got out of control. it couldn't have always been that way.

Agreed. JD loves his family more than anything. I have a feeling he wouldn't have let 20 years pass if he knew they were alive. It's one of the lines in the movies (I found out you were still alive) that really hits me home for that. He was also the only one who came back soooo there is that too. And yeah! He literally straight up FORGOT about the Family Harmony until Floyd told him that was what was needed. And even after twenty years, he still whole heartedly believes in his brothers that they can do it (if we just practice a little) like that sweetie. Running on worry, adrenaline and lack of sleep, that dude just wants to save his brother.

AWWWW JD loving theatre would be so CUTE! Except I would love to see him both go to Broadway things and Children's plays. Like that would be funny! Here is this dude who goes to these serious broadway type shows but then he turns around and the next night he goes to some local kids Seussical or something.

I just love this so much haha

Okay also another thing...

Okay, I do think it would be funny if for those twenty years, what JD did for "work" was just sell the rights to songs he wrote on the road to other artists/trolls he came across. Like, as he is traveling and is writing different types of music, musicians be like dude this song is amazing and just my style and JD be like... I'll sell it/trade it for (insert whatever here). Like how funny? And then the radio is just flooded with songs that JD wrote, many of which people have NO idea he wrote.

Like could you imagine a song comes on the radio and Floyd being all like "I love this song!!"

And JD like oh yeah, I traded that song for a machete and two chickens. Awesome deal, I love my machete. Comes in handy.

Like could you imagine? I don't know why but I find the concept SO FUNNY

#ask #and there is my ted talk haha lol #i love these ideas

17 notes · View notes

hero-israel · 10 months

Note

Listen. I know! Don’t feed the trolls, ignore stupid stuff, whatever. But I saw a meme today that was screenshotting an article from the haaretz talking about Chernobyl and how it impacted Israel, and it had this like “here’s your equal attention cake!” Joke from Family Guy- As if Israel is not comfortable sharing global attention with Ukraine.

And sure, whatever, it’s a stupid joke regardless but?? The Haaretz is literally an Israeli paper?? Of course they’re going to talk about how things impact Israel?? It’s like getting mad at the New York Times for writing stories about New York

This would be the right occasion for an "I don't get it...." and forcing them to explain. Nearly 1 million Jews from the former Soviet Union now live in Israel, over 15% of the population speaks Russian. There are so many Israelis from that background that over 1,300 have been identified as Chernobyl cleaners - and if there were that many cleaners, it's reasonable to expect vastly more were just living in the affected zone. Why WOULDN'T they react to the HBO show? This is what I mean when I keep saying most people in the world grow up with a normalized expectation of Jewish absence, silence, and death.

#Israel #Soviet Union #Soviet Jewry #Chernobyl #jumblr

48 notes · View notes

sidewayspeace444 · 6 months

Note

Sooo…..

I’m not sure how to word this and hopefully it’s not long, but I’ll begin by saying, Chris Evans’ fandom just needs to ignore EVERYTHING from his side, that includes his friends, family, the “wife” and her friends, etc.

I do believe there may be more than meets the eye with this mess behind the scenes, but I also recognize that as much as this entire “shitshow” as its now been deemed, seems phony and fake…. At this point, let’s just say it’s what it is. Chris is a married man and he married a woman that I don’t believe he truly knows, but that’s on him. 🤷🏻‍♀️

See, looking back at everything, even if this started as PR, which I’m partial to believe…..Chris still sat his ass on stage last week and said he…. Married a woman from Portugal. 😂

But, I remember his likes on IG years ago, he liked and followed some big booty fitness influencer and no, not that Sara chick. I think he and 🐟 might’ve had a PR thing that started professionally and then he liked whatever, but when it was time to “debut” this mess….. his dumbass never expected the backlash. If this has always been real or pr turned real or just pr, etc he never expected fans to deep dive into the problematic woman who keeps trolling his fandom? See, people stated her IG cleaned up of over 100 posts so he or someone knew enough. He is not permanently attached to racist scum.

Look Chris is a very privileged white male, like….DUH!

But look how he talks about project roles, so many deserving actors and actresses are out here scraping for decent roles and then there’s Chris….Mr. “I turn down lead roles”, “I only want to make one movie a year”, “I don’t understand my privilege so I take advantage of it”.

Chris has been in a Marvel/Disney protection bubble for over a decade. It prevented him from growing as an actor and person. He had people at the ready to clean his mess and wipe his ass. He’s no longer in that bubble and ironically you can go back and see how he’s been cascading down ever since. He started decent with Knives Out and Defending Jacob, but then the pandemic happened and he like many…. Lost their minds and sanity.

First it was Lily James PR mess and then I guess money was decent that he chose to do another stunt and it’s led to all of this. Chris wants to seem like he’s smarter than he comes off, but I do believe he’s the type to go…. You like Eckart Tolle?!…..omg me too, yep we’re destined to be together. Boston has a huge population from PT, and racist history so 🐟 should enjoy her time there. 🙄

Anyway Chris has ALWAYS had problematic individuals in his circle both personally and professionally, again….privileged white man who loves to act holier than thou. He did some basic ass tweets during trump era and people started stanning him because everyone hated trump and Chris was basically the conduit of their thoughts.

He pandered to black women, even reprimanded one during an interview, after again…pandering …pretending to flirt over her white boots, knowing he’s being recorded …..then got pissy with her…all because she used the word “brand”. But look at his “brand” now. 😒

This man left social media because he couldn’t withstand the pressure of people not kissing his ass and his choice in life partner. He keeps saying the internet is bad, no sweetie, the internet isn’t the problem it’s YOU!

Ugh, I’m done, mainly because I too wanted this to turn out to be 100% PR, he acted like he didn’t like her publicly only to put a ring on it, yet that could have been to have people wondering and staying engaged with this mess.

I think she’ll be his karma for however long they last.

There is 0.1% in me that would LOVE for this mess to be revealed as shitty PR, fake marriage and all, but I’m tired of trying to force feed things. Chris has a ring… fake or not, it would be stupid to acknowledge himself as married only to come back with….. I’m not married, still single.

So for those believing this is PR, I stand with you, but I’m tired of holding out hope that he was ever truly decent. Decent people don’t have multiple problematic friends and coworkers, Emily Blunt is a fat shamed too, her and Justin should get along very well. Decent people don’t take their career and fans for granted EVER!

This IS who Chris Evans is and it’s time everyone drops the projection and fantasy. If I’m wrong…… I’d like to see Chris himself prove me wrong, but that’s not going to happen…..is it?

This fandom use to be a source of fun and relief from personal shit, but now it’s aided in more gaslighting and emotional hurt about a guy I never knew.

You all have been so cool and I wish Chris turned out to be the man we all thought he actually was, but his own actions have proven, he’s not.

Everyone take care! ✌️

Let’s stop defending this man like we are getting paid. Let’s drag him! He wants to blame everyone but himself for his flop era

22 notes · View notes

thewertsearch · 2 years

Text

I only ever place myself into positions of tangential involvement with events that will bring about my employer's entry into this universe.

So that’s it. Whitetext is working for the ‘demon’, who is almost certainly Lord English.

Presumably he’s one of his ‘followers’ - and a pretty damn effective one, too, far moreso than the Felt. I wonder if he, too, has some sort of time gimmick, perhaps one which feeds into his clairvoyance.

Anyway, we now know, more or less, what Whitetext’s goal is. He seeks to destroy the universe, activating the ~ATH script which summons his boss.

AG: I'm 8eginning to think you really 8elieve that! So delusion8l. You're just a path8tic, lonely gamer who 8uys into his own character profile 8S. The omniscient have no need for beliefs and no room for delusion. AG: Hahahahahahahaha! AG: You're the dum8est omniscient person I ever met.

He didn't actually say he was omniscient, though. He described a trait of omniscient people, and Vriska assumed he was talking about himself.

Clever, clever.

AG: Sure you know a lot, 8ut I know for a FACT there's stuff you don't know. That's true. But the gaps in my knowledge exist by design. They are the pillars of shadow on which my comprehensive vision is built. Necessary pockets of void meant to effectuate outcomes I've foreseen and which will require my influence. Each dark pocket, in time, will be filled. But I wonder why I waste this nuance on you.

Definitely not omniscient, then. He’s powerfully clairvoyant, sure, but he can’t scry on events he’s destined to influence. After his influence is complete, though, he can see them just fine.

He is, of course, currently influencing events - that seems to be the primary purpose of his relationship with the trolls. It follows that during these conversations, Whitetext should be far from all-knowing.

I don't lie. Deception is only necessary for those like you to achieve their objectives. I play with my cards face up.

This is a pretty fun game. As Whitetext talks, we can try and puzzle out the specifics of what he's saying, and how he's misleading his conversational partner without actually lying to them. A good example is that ‘omniscient’ tidbit above.

On the other hand, I’d be a fool to fully accept the rules as he presents them. He could still totally be lying, and I need to make sure I don’t get so caught up in the nuance of his doublespeak that I miss an actual falsehood.

Isn't it funny how during our various matches, I can tell you what my moves will be in advance, and still win? AG: ::::P AG: Yeah, 8ut I'm getting closer to 8eating you. You'll see. Look at that. The short amount of time I have reserved for arguing with a child has expired.

Whatever he is, it looks like he still has nerves to touch. That’s oddly reassuring.

#2244 #homestuck liveblog #full liveblog #act 5 #s20

116 notes · View notes

roo-bastmoon · 1 year

Text

The Final Word on This, Please

To the person in my inbox who keeps using a throw-away account to send me variations on the theme that Tae has been pushing Taekook since LA Live because he has to be the main character and can’t stand to share the spotlight with Jikook…

Please slow your roll. I’m not going to publish any of your asks.

*Sigh* You are really moving like a troll, but because I believe there’s a human being behind every screen, and you seem really emotional right now, I will try to answer some of your questions with as much patience, logic, and compassion as I can muster—once.

Then I am sending you on your way, because this conversation ultimately cannot lead to any conclusions and it is so draining.

I appreciate that because Taehyung is mentioning hanging out with JK a lot, you are upset on Jimin’s behalf—but have you seen Jimin upset about any of this? (I mean, there was a small moment in the Chuseok live, when Tae was stroking JK’s hair, and Jimin gave him a bit of LOOK, and Tae stopped.)

But Jimin has never once looked super pressed or jealous or sad or sulky about Tae and JK’s bond. He was sitting right there when Tae rested his head on JK’s leg during Busan rehearsals, totally unbothered by the intimacy of that gesture. If anything, he seems very relaxed and super adoring of both Jungkook and Taehyung.

Maybe it’s because he’s not online much to see what all is happening as a result. Maybe he just doesn’t care what other people think because Tae has proven himself trustworthy no matter what. (For all we know, Vminkook could have a pact to feed all ships a little bit to keep suspicion off actual relationships. Or they just do whatever they feel like and don’t care a fig about ships. We don’t know. We don’t actually know these guys and it’s so easy to forget that.)

Consider what we DO know about Kim Taehyung:

--He went to Big Hit to encourage a friend at his audition and ended up getting the role. That suggests he’s opportunistic, but maybe the friend was totally fine with it? I think we can all agree that in any case, all 7 members are absolutely essential for BTS to work. It’s almost like it was destiny.

--He pranks ARMY all the time, with that sharpie marker tattoo and such. I know it can feel like he’s making fools of us… But that could just be his sense of humor?

--He shares snippets of recordings or Insta posts and then deletes it, and has said he feels “like a different person” every few moments, so he doesn’t like what he was a few moments ago and then gets rid of it. Maybe he’s still finding his way as a person or an artist? Maybe he’s feeling a bit insecure about being judged?

--He mentions JK very frequently these days. So maybe he’s feeding Taekookers. I suspect he knows his impact even if that's not his intention. But maybe he’s just happy to share something he knows ARMY will want to hear about?

Consider that he also shares Christmas songs and New Year’s wishes and pics of Yeontan and food and photoshoots and other stuff too. He hyped up Jimin’s VIBE. I think he’s using social media the way most twenty-somethings do. He tells us a bit about his day, a bit about his work, and throws in a random song he likes or whatever. But being in BTS means everything gets super analyzed.

So yeah, he’s named dropped JK like 6 or 7 times in the last few months—and I suspect it has to do with some insecurity around the dating scandal and others being in the news, because he doesn’t namedrop Jimin or Hobi, but we know he hangs out with them, too—but I cannot say for sure what’s really going on. He could just be talking about whatever is top of mind, and that happens to be JK. They ARE close. They have a valid bond. They always have. None of this hanging out stuff is remotely new.

--Another possibility is that it’s time for some contract negotiations, and having plenty of social media engagement is the best capital to leverage getting your way. Maybe he wants a Taekook subunit. Maybe he wants to collab with “controversial” artists of other companies. Maybe he wants to do more film work than just guest star on cooking shows and Squid Game. Maybe he’s trying to get a better monetary deal, or convince the company to actually step up its promo efforts and shipping schedules, which impact charts. Maybe this is a purely business calculation. So he's posting a lot of things he think will get people to engage. (Maybe it’s a really genuine friendship that has been through the ringer the last few years, and he’s eager to show they’ve repaired things and are now close again.)

--Please do not lose sight of the fact that over the years, he’s consistently shown us that he really loves Jimin. I don’t know if he loves Jimin more than he loves himself, per se, but… I think he DOES love Jimin (or else he deserves an Oscar for the longest, bestest con of all time).

He flat-out said he likes Jimin the most. He wrote Jimin the most beautiful and vulnerable letter in which he apologized that Jimin was always the one who gave the most. He bought Jimin his first designer gift. He was the only one to update us when Jimin was in the hospital for a week. He follows Jimin to the goddamn bathroom. He unreservedly wrote to Jimin he loved him on his birthday. Kim Taehyung loves Park Jimin. Count on it.

Now, I’m not saying you can’t hurt the ones you love—of course you can. But you keep coming to my inbox, stating his motives like you know it for a fact. And he could very well totally ignore the insane I-ARMY cult that drags Jimin and just think he’s giving the normal fans something they enjoy by updating them about a member who has been practically MIA since the White House. *shrug*

Whatever it is that is going on, Tae has the most followers online. He’s got global recognition. He’s got excellent taste in music and fashion. He has a solid industry network and fanbase. He’s set. He could drop an album that consists solely of him humming and playing the kazoo with his left nostril, and the majority of ARMY will get behind it.

But I suspect right now, for him, sitting in the chair and banging out the work is a real struggle for him. He may be choking on indecision. He may feel overwhelmed with pressure. He may be scared of criticism. He may be burnt out because let’s face it, BTS has been in a nonstop whirlwind even during the pandemic.

So what does he do? He games, and goes bowling, and jet-sets around the world on side projects with friends, and whatever else… and sometimes Jungkook joins in (probably mostly online, or in groups—but maybe also sometimes just the two of them, like with Minimoni or Jihope). I'm sure he'll get back to his album as soon as he's creatively restored.

Hanging out doesn’t mean either Tae or JK are disloyal or hurting Jimin. You cannot know this for a fact.

All it means is that the cult has fodder to bark and act a fool. But they do that regardless, so don’t pay them your energy; don’t give them real estate in your mind.

Listen, 27 is a trying time for any young person. But for a global super star under a microscope? He’s probably under the kinds of stress we will never begin to understand. He probably feels like he can never please everyone, so he might as well please himself. And if he sometimes stirs up a little chaos, that may be how he releases some of that internalized pressure.

Am I THRILLED he comes online almost every time Jimin or JK are in the spotlight and implies Taekook is real? Nope. Honestly, nope, I don’t like it. Especially not when Dispatch feels the need to write an article about it. I’m human and I have my limits. So I admit, it doesn’t feel great. Just like with the trumpet, or temporary tattoo, or fake names he’s given to strangers in the past, I think he’s pulling our legs off. And I personally could easily interpret that as disdain for his fans. That’s how I, Roo, 43-year-old American female, feel about it.

Doesn’t make it the reality, nor his intent.

We could be way overthinking here.

At the end of the day, we only see a tiny, tiny, TINY fraction of these guys’ real lives. But from all that we DO see, there’s no bad blood, no weird tension. The maknae climb all over each other like puppies still. The hyungs are all super protective and fond still. BTS tells us over and over they want to be together for as long as they can. Jikook is still Jikook, even if they aren’t sharing any personal info these days.

So whatever is going on in fandom when Taekook starts to trend, I don’t think we can say that Tae is having a negative impact on Jikook or BTS in real life. I just don’t think we’ve got evidence of that. From what we can see, the guys all seem fine.

What we do have evidence of is the ruiners feeling like they have a greenlight to keep on ruining things for everyone who doesn’t see things their way. IT SUCKS. Guard your energy, that’s all I can tell you. Because even if JK popped online right now and looked right in the camera and said, “Taekook is a friendship only. Please stop seeing signs and wonders everywhere. Tae and I are just friends.”

The cult would still never believe his own words. They’d say the company forced him. That he’s being blackmailed. That it’s a prank. That they have to be closeted because of the military. That he’s foregoing his relationship in order to make deals to launch his solo career. That he’s been brainwashed. God only knows what excuses they would make. But he can't win, here.

The nutters won’t take him at his word, because they’ve never really cared what any of these boys has said or done in the past, either. They only take in whatever supports their theory, and they abandon any evidence that does not.

Jikook could come out right now and it wouldn’t stop the ruiners—but it would ruin things for them, their members, their company and staff, plus their military experiences.

Which is why, as a Jikooker (I assume you are one), it’s really crucial for you to take in all possible content and evidence WITHIN CONTEXT, run things by older ARMY, and check yourself when you’re being emotional. This is a good thing to discuss with your friends in a private group chat, not rant about in inboxes or on public blogs.

But whatever you do, please DON’T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. You are welcome to your thoughts and your feelings, but anyone who states things like they KNOW what is really happening under the surface is lying (to themselves, at best).

Ultimately you will make yourself crazy. (I do not mean this as a jibe, but you sound a bit unhinged in your messages. I didn’t delete this last one because I’m genuinely starting to worry for you, here. You’re too close to this. You are having a disproportionate response to the situation. It’s BTS, not a cancer diagnosis.)

Please, PLEASE shift your focus to what brings you joy, okay?

For me, I like to remember JK whispering nonsense in Jimin’s ear in the Seoul concert, or his hand seeking Jimin’s hip under his shirt or lifting him up in Memories 2021, or the way he and Jimin sometimes wear each other’s sweaty hats. I love that he only posted for Jimin’s birthday, and a thirst trap at that! I like to remember him calling Jimin “genius-Min” or his robot-cat ears perking up when Jimin danced, or singing and clapping with pure joy when it was time to sing Happy Birthday to Jimin at the Busan Concert. I like to recall how eager he was to let everyone know he had seaweed soup on Jimin’s day, too.

I like to remember that all three of these boys share a bowl of ramen, a sofa, and information about each other’s farts—and they do it without so much as a flinch.

There’s real love there. Bonds that will last a lifetime.

No matter WHAT the relationship statuses are. Maybe no ships are real. Maybe ships have shifted. Maybe Jikook are just being quiet because they are real and have a shit-ton to lose before military service, whereas Taekook is being loud because there’s no there, there. Maybe the polyshippers are right and Bangtan gets together once a full moon to indulge in a giant orgy (JK is in charge of the mood lighting and music.)

*stares off into the distance, imagining it*

Look, my dear. The truth is, they cannot tell us everything that goes on. But if we can trust them when they do tell us, that would be good.

I trust that JK and Tae are close and do hang out (as friends).

I trust that Jungkook will keep holding Jiminie.

I trust that the best part of Jimin’s day is waking up to see Jungkookie.

What else really matters?

Please be kind, to yourself, to others who aren’t comfortable speculating about this, and to all the members. They are human. They are gonna make mistakes, be selfish sometimes, act out of anxiety or stress other times. But they are all good people who love each other.

Please trust in that.

And now get out of my inbox and go do something that brings you a sense of peace and bliss. Okay? *hugs* I mean it, I really don’t want to talk about this anymore. Please appreciate the boundary I’m setting, and go in peace.

Yours,

Roo

#jikook #minkook

64 notes · View notes

u2fangirlie-blog · 4 months

Text

50 Things for My 50th Birthday - Now With 10 Bonus Things!

50 Things for My 50th Birthday

A continuation of my 40 Things for 40 List, with 10 additional entries for 50. Plus 10 Bonus Things!

Originally written December 2013 on my 40th birthday. It's a list of bits of wisdom I wish I had known when I was younger. Every item has a story behind it. I don't know if this is original, intelligent, humorous, creative, interesting, or valuable to anyone other than myself. But it means something to me.

Maybe someday I'll write an annotated version of the list with the stories for each one. Then that would turn into a book. Maybe it's better to give short snippets and remain mysterious than to overshare everything. December 2023.

40 Things for my 40th Birthday: 12/2013

1. The Universe has a sense of humor which manifests itself as irony. Take time to stop and notice the big glowing neon signs that point to irony.

2. Karma, like gravity, is a force of nature. It does not discriminate. It balances your actions and consequences like balancing an equation.

3. It’s better to be single and alone than be in a bad relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.

4. See the patterns and interconnections - streams, veins in leaves, flowers, moss, agates, geodes, galaxies, calendars, time – it is beautiful and awesome.

5. Every day is different. If today is shitty, tomorrow will be shitty in a different way.

6. Look for the positive. Thousands of things go right every day.

7. Have a good work ethic. Do your best, but don’t let perfectionism interfere.

8. Know your history. Remember your ancestors and family. You could not be who and where you are without all of their hard work.

9. Don’t bite the hook.

10. Don’t feed the troll.

11. Remember Professor Remus Lupin’s Defense Against the Dark Arts lessons – Ridiculous, Expecto Patronum, and Chocolate.

12. Learn crafts – sewing, knitting, beading, etc. – it enriches life. It’s fun to give surprise presents to people.

13. Dream out loud at high volume. Turn it up to 11.

14. No good deed goes unpunished.

15. The Platinum Rule: Treat people how they want to be treated.

16. Always have 2 weeks’ supply of socks and underwear.

17. Invest in good bras. Your back and boobs will thank you later in life.

18. Always wear comfortable shoes. Your feet will thank you later in life.

19. Don’t waste time in front of the mirror. Save money. Cosmetics are optional.

20. Do not fester. To fester is bad. Don’t bottle things up for years. When you eventually explode, it only frightens, confuses, and pisses off the target of your nuclear blast, and innocent bystanders may be injured.

21. Don’t confuse lust for love. Lust and love are not the same thing. Don’t allow physical attraction to obscure reality. Ask questions. You might not like the answers but ask anyway.

22. Beware of charming men. They use sexual energy to get attention and evoke a reaction, like using glamour magic. The feeling is fleeting. It’s nothing special.

23. Don’t wait by the phone or the computer. When a man says, “I’ll call you tomorrow,” he probably won’t. He might intend to call, but he doesn’t know which tomorrow he means – 24 hours, 6 months, 8 years later. Don’t take it personally.

24. Diamonds are not a girl’s best friend. You don’t need a ring. A loving relationship is the real treasure.

25. U2 is the greatest rock ‘n roll band and “Achtung Baby” is the greatest rock ‘n roll album in the entire Universe.

26. You are your own worst enemy. You are the only enemy you will ever have. Stop listening to the Itty Bitty Shitty Committee.

27. You are your own best ally. You are the only ally you will ever have. Never betray yourself to others or to yourself.

28. It is what it is.

29. Chill the fuck out.

30. On the subject of Big Girl Panties: Pull them up. Deal with it, whatever it is. They can be She-Ra Princess of Power, Wonder Woman, or Tinkerbell Underoos. In times when you can’t pull up your Big Girl Panties, get some Coping Skills so you can deal with it. Use Coping Skills until the problem is solved or the situation subsides. Repeat as necessary. Coping skills will eventually become the New Normal way of dealing with it.

31. Learn as many life skills as you are capable of doing - housekeeping, home repairs, yard maintenance, gardening, cooking, car maintenance, etc. Be as self-sufficient as possible.

32. Know when to ask for help. Offer to help others too. Know when to hire professionals to do the job.

33. Felines are the best animals ever in the history of all species on Earth. Being a Crazy Cat Lady is wonderful. It’s the cats who are crazy.

34. Read everything. Read constantly. Develop highly effective writing and verbal skills. Clear communication is essential.

35. Book smarts, diplomas, and degrees are not an accurate measure of intelligence. Common sense, ability, skill, and experience are most important.

36. No one likes an insufferable know-it-all. Don’t correct others even if you are right – unless it is a life-or-death situation.

37. Practice mindfulness. Orient your perception to the meta level.

38. Be grateful and express gratitude.

39. Be compassionate, sympathetic, and empathetic – even to people you dislike or who dislike you. Everybody hurts. Everybody has bad days. Understand that.

40. Remember the reason why you had your ears pierced on your 30th birthday. Enjoy the small pleasures of life: favorite foods, scents, sights, sounds, clothes, jewelry, and all the pretty things. These are what the dead remember and desire the most.

50 Things for My 50th Birthday: 12/2023

41. Toxic Situations: Know when to get out on your terms while you still have options. Leave before they force you out. Otherwise, you could be left scrambling and everything is worse.

42. The Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is 42, obviously. (Thanks to Douglas Adams.) 42 is the atomic number of molybdenum. 42 divine beings, with Osiris, Ma’at, and Thoth in the Hall of Truth, judge souls before they enter the afterlife in Egyptian mythology.

43. Dialectical Behavior Therapy skills, motherfucker, do you use them? You spent 2 years in Fight Club. Strive to be skillful every day. The core skill sets are mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. Remember your values. Remember Wise Mind. Remember Radical Acceptance.

44. Gaslighting: Discussing problems is complaining. Telling the truth is causing trouble. Explaining yourself is making excuses. Asking questions is undermining others, making others look bad, or challenging authority. Challenging hurtful comments is not knowing how to take a joke. Expressing emotional needs is neediness. Expressing emotions is seeking attention. Showing confidence and intelligence and using an above-average vocabulary is being a bitch, being a know-it-all, or flexing your education and experience.

45. You need people whether or not you like it. Remember the pandemic lockdown. Remember working from home for a year and a half. You thought you trained your whole life as an introvert for that historic moment and would be excellent at it. No. It was objectively bad. It was a disaster. You need people. Be a better daughter, sister, and friend to the people in your life.

46. People change for better or worse. People will drift in and out of your life. People grow apart. This is a natural part of life. Accept it.

47. Magical Thinking: It’s one thing to know better. It’s an entirely different thing to do better. This is stupid behavior. It doesn’t matter how smart you are, how hard you work, or how good your intentions are. It’s never going to work out how you want it to. It’s never going to get better. And no one cares. Accept responsibility for your part in it. Don’t make excuses. Do something different. Do better. Change.

48. “Do or do not, there is no try” is fundamentally bad advice. Yoda’s lesson led Luke to black-or-white thinking. What would Spock or Picard teach Luke about learning a new skill? Get up and do it again until you can do it or find another way to do it.

49. Everybody is sick of your shit. Everybody, including you, is sick of your shit.

50. On the subject of Giving a Fuck: You either give too many fucks or you never have enough fucks to give. You need to practice, as the internet meme says, “moderate fuck distribution.” Ask yourself when you truly feel like you have zero fucks to give, are you completely out of fucks? Can you have a fuck debt, have a negative number of fucks? Or does something magical happen? Like a mint in the bottom of your purse, like loose change between seat cushions, like a potato chip under the fridge, there is always one more fuck to give. Like a free play token or an extra life in video game, one more fuck will magically appear. That one magical fuck will be dirty, hard, bitter, and broken, but it will be there when you need it. That one magical fuck can be saved or given as needed until you can replenish your regular supply of fucks.

BONUS CONTENT: I have more than 10 things to add to the list of 50 things.

Life is unpredictable. I don’t know if I’ll live another 10 years to continue the list, so I’m writing 10 Bonus Things. Everyone loves free bonus things!

51. “If I don’t do what my parents want, they will be mad at me.” WHAT? Did you just say the quiet part out loud? Every decision in your life is based on it! How can you be in the fifth decade of your life on this planet? Are you even an adult?

52. You can’t be needy if you don’t have needs. Meet your needs for yourself. No one else will. If there’s the slightest stink of neediness on you, people will abuse and reject you.

53. Don’t have expectations of others. Don’t engage in wishful thinking. Stop wanting people to demonstrate their feelings or care for you in the way you want. They won’t. It’s never going to happen. If you ask for what you want, then you are needy or attention-seeking. Accept what they offer as they give it, even if doesn’t meet your expectations, even if it’s nothing. That may be the only thing they can offer or the only way they know how to express it.

54. Most of being an adult is lying to everyone that everything is okay and that you are fine, when in reality your life is an unbearable mess, and you are not anywhere close to being okay.

55. Nothing you do is ever good enough for others. You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. It never changes.

56. “Use it or lose it.” You refused to believe it until you quit using it and you lost it. You don’t need to look in the mirror to see it. How does your body feel? Get up, girl, and use it.

57. No one gets out of here alive. Prepare for your death. Don’t leave the burden of your funeral plans, estate, and debts to your family, friends, or strangers. If you worked on projects or created things with other people, include it in your will. Your legacy, and that of others, literally could be thrown away. If you don’t tell people what you want, they will get it wrong. Then you’ll have to come back and haunt the fuck out of those people.

58. There’s no escaping your past, especially with family. They remember everything. Every obnoxious thing you did as a teenager. Every time you freaked out. Every time you had a bad day. Every mistake you made. Every mental health breakdown. It doesn’t matter how hard you work to change and overcome your problems. You’ll always be that past worst version in their minds, and they’ll hold it against you forever.

59. Your family is never going to forgive you for getting a degree in English. It’s always going to come down to their misperception that you are nitpicking and correcting them when you’re not. They’re going to throw it in your face like a glass of ice water.

60. Remember the “Litany Against Fear” from Dune. You memorized it when you were 15 years old. It still works.

#50th birthday #gen x #generation x #things i wish i knew #advice to younger self #adulting #life advice #50 years old #memoir #autobiography

8 notes · View notes