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#but as it is so far the only reason the podcast is still going is because they are the protagonists and haven't been allowed to die yet
worldunbent · 2 days
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a difference between the experience of reading the natsuyuu manga and watching the anime which is only interesting to me is that there's no distinction between special chapters and regular ones in the anime. the reason i find that interesting is that the specials are, so far in my reread, the only chapters that spend any time completely outside of natsume's POV. when we see other characters' perspectives in regular chapters, it's typically part of an extended monologue or a memory being transmitted to natsume, so we're still not really leaving his perspective. the only times we leave his POV are when he's physically not present in a scene, and in those instances we usually don't get any narration or interior monologue from the other characters.
tanuma in "a suspicious visitor" is the only exception i can think of off the top of my head, though i'm sure there are others i'll get to and just don't remember at the moment. the scene between matoba and ban at the end of the homura arc, for example, is outside of natsume's POV by necessity but is pure dialogue with no interior narration because these are not characters to whom we have that kind of access! (for more on matoba's elusive subjectivity see sp15, says tumblr user worldunbent.)
the special chapters jump all over the place; so far i've gotten to chapters from the perspectives of little fox, an unnamed youkai, nyanko, tanuma, and hinoe (although hinoe's chapter is framed as a story she's telling natsume, so it could have fit in a regular chapter). they have a separate numbering system from the regular chapters, are much shorter, and almost always come at the end of volumes*. in the anime, however, there's absolutely nothing to distinguish the episodes adapting the specials from the ones adapting regular chapters other than the POV shifts, which gives anime-only viewers a very different impression of how the series approaches character interiority. i don't think there's anything wrong with this as an adaptation move and it's pretty much necessary, but it's just notable because in a series that's all about how people see the world differently, the choice to make such a distinction between chapters in the protagonist's POV and chapters from everyone else's POV is a significant one.
the reason i'm paying so much attention to POVs in this reread in the first place is because i've been listening to the podcast media club plus and jack, who is pretty new to anime, keeps pointing out the constant perspective shifts in hunter x hunter and the other hosts are like, "yeah, that's normal." this post from another listener expands on how and why it works as a genre norm in shonen battle anime/manga specifically. so now i'm just cursed to be hyperaware of POV shifts in anime/manga, and given that the three series i'm reading/watching at the moment are hxh, dungeon meshi, and natsuyuu, natsuyuu really stands out in how rarely it leaves natsume's head in the regular chapters. i guess i need to go read some more shoujo for a larger sample size lol
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*i have a chapter spreadsheet 🤓 and the exceptions to this are sp18, which is just stuck in the middle of v22, sp20, which is the second-to-last chapter of v24, and sp21, which is the first chapter of v25. i understand the placement of sp20, which is "intermission detectives" and makes sense to have as an break between regular chapters, but i'll have to figure out what sp18&21 are doing when i get to them.
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humming-fly · 25 days
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I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE MALEVOLENT seminal head roommate media
Thank you I am having a good time I've lovingly added it to my tally of media containing body-sharing idiots who I am emotionally attached to
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(I actually don't give too much of a shit about kayn but he helps fill out the roster)
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ayy-junipei · 3 months
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Why You Should Watch Bang Brave Bang Bravern
An essay by Junipei while they wait for they friends to come online so we can watch episode 3. Some spoilers for episode 1-2 I guess
Reason 1 - It be Nefarious
Ok so let me tell you how I came to actually watch this show. I have a friend who does one of those seasonal anime review podcast things and I was basically helping man go through the bottom of the barrel. Things that were either going to be cute for an episode before its gimmick ran into the ground or just straight up trash. I was the emotional support Juni.
So we boot up Bang Brave Bang Bravern knowing only that it's a generic mecha show with a fucked up name and a bromance thrown in for fun. That's what we thought
THAT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT
We thought things were getting interesting when the aliens showed up. Ok it's not just a gritty anime it's a Pacific Rim Top Gun thing, ok, that's more interesting than what we thought, that's fine.
AND THEN BRAVERN SHOWS UP.
AND WE REALISE THIS ISN'T JUST A GRITTY REALISTIC MECHA. IT GOT COLLIDED WITH A FUCKIN SUPER ROBOT SHOW FROM THE 70s.
I have not had my jaw this dropped since episode 1 of Code Geass. We were played like fiddles bro.
So we watch episode 2, wondering where the hell its going to go from there. IT GOES TO-
Reason 2 - Robot Gay Hell
As a person who enjoys human sized people kissing 10ft tall death machines, I have been starved my entire life. I take what I can get.
So imagine my surprise when the show sets up that Bravern is head over heels in love with his pilot Isami. So much so that he refuses to let anyone else get in that cockpit. Wahey!
It has mostly been played for a joke, that's the one single downside. That's not very sustainable. BUT I am very curious to see where it goes. This leads into-
Reason 3 - Something is UP my Dudes
If the carefully planned bait and switch says anything, it's that the show has a lot more planned up it sleeve. And you see that in allmost every scene. Bravern and the one-dimensional aliens creates a massive tonal dissonance with the original part of the show.
You see, the realistic gritty mecha bit is still playing out like a realistic gritty mecha. Our boy Isami gets waterboarded by the CIA for any info he has on Bravern. Things don't magically get better after Bravern saves the main cast, the Earth is going to shit real fast.
So if you think of Bravern and the aliens in the context of the more realistic part of the show, shit is mighty sus. Are you really going to take man's word that he's a hero here to defeat the bad guys?
It could turn darker, it could turn spicy, or it could sustain the show past the "gimmick turns stale real quick" problem anime has these days.
If you've made it this far good job soldier, now get out there and make me some gott damnged robot yaoi. I HAVE STARVED FOR 20 YEARS FOR THIS CONTENT. GIVE IT- GIVE IT OT ME NOW
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valen-nidk · 26 days
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Family dynamic. | Vox's sibling!Reader.
Content: Implicit imposter syndrome, subtle hints of depression. General description of S.Reader's relationship with The Vee's.
A/N: Probably the last thing you'll see of this particular reader unless I get requests for potential relationships with other Hazbin hotel characters.
Frankly, Hell wasn't exactly what you had in mind, if anything, this particular ring of Hell was like Earth with extra steps and fancier titles: people (read: sinners) still got killed, sometimes there was a transactional reason behind, sometimes just because ; consent was also a bit of a myth here too ; politics? Not exactly. Religion? Uh, duh — after all, the fancy titles previously mentioned were: Archangels, Seraphims, Angels, Sinners and Hellborns (was Adam his own category? His title was First Man and, according to some sources, he had self-proclaimed as Dickmaster or the original dick).
The only upside thus far was that your physical form was kind of cool (literally, a humanoid robot so... an android that had to regulate its body temperature to not overheat), no bones ached, no muscles hurt and you couldn't get sick (a virus, maybe...?) plus your cult leader brother was, to no one's surprise, a cult leader! With the power of hypnosis which, in retrospective, was kind of like his gig back on Earth with manipulation skills that had been perfectly crafted and mastered throughout years and years of studying the human psique and emotions.
The TV head was... new. Unexpected, certainly hilarious even if the context was gruesome to an extent. It made sense, same goes with you: the right-hand, the prophet of this newfound god. Although your form was different since you died electrocuted because of a faulty electrical connection.
Ah yes, what is there to do in Hell..? The Radio Demon had gone missing as well as Lilith, part of you heavily believes that those two separate events are, in fact, connected despite the lack of evidence. A hunch though without something to back it up, you kept quiet — after all, you weren't a big mastermind, though you did enjoy chaos and creating a ridiculous amount of back-up plans in case something went terribly wrong. Cautious? Anxious? Oh, yeah. Your stubborn egotistical brother was careless when going through his many power-trips or when his rage made his (seemingly) perfect persona crack, hence why you just had to have ways to ammend any and all mistakes. Problems made you uneasy, utterly sick — gotta fix 'em, gotta have potential solution for every possible scenario no matter how insane they could be. You never know! You have to know, a sense of being capable of choosing, to own something, just about any single aspect of your life just had to be yours to control.
Nonetheless... Hell, huh. What to do? Unlike Vox, your powers were quite limited and served as support for his, rinse and repeat a life on that one. Besides that, you weren't an official Vee member, more like an honorary one — and thanks to you being a charmer, a problem solver (people-pleaser) and overall someone who rather live comfortably, well... You started babysitting looking after Valentino whenever Vox was too busy (read: didn't want to put up with his bullshit) and this lead to uhhh, unwillingly being dragged to his studio. The porn actors loved you, which made Valentino hate you but also love you as well because "motherfuckers are more willing to cooperate when there's una cara bonita como la tuya around these parts" while squeezing your 'cheeks' (screen). Yeah, you didn't get why Vox wanted this mothman carnally, though his voice was podcast material, the accent? Delicious.
Now when it came to the backbone of The Vee's, it was a trickier situation — mostly due to not having an actual reason to interact with Velvette. Sure, you guys exchanged texts like roasting Vox and Valentino, gossip, some blackmail material... Memes, selfies, the very basic. Being physically in the same room was comfortable, pleasant silences while sitting next to each other and showing funny videos from your respective devices ; or sharing private conversations that were hilarious with or without context, that's for sure! Oh and, let's not forget that this fashionista icon and unforgiving social manager will absolutely roast you if you are dressed like last century. Still, she was kind to you and, in return, you behaved the same way — work collegues, or flatmates would be a way to describe how you two got along.
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russilton · 8 days
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Wait what did Lance do that almost cost George his career?
So its more about Lawrence than Lance himself, If you look in this article it’s covered with quotes from George to back it up as a source, and here, and George has been outspoken about lance’s money causing unfair orders for his teammates, but in short, in 2014 before a run at the BRDC F4 championship and FRECA, George was signed to compete in FRECA with PREMA, but 10 days before the season began he was unceremoniously dumped due to a veto by Lawrence stroll, who held stakes in the team.
Lance and George weren’t even racing in the same series at the time, as Lance was competing in the Florida winter series and Italian F4.
The reason this is notable in the case of George’s career is that during podcast interviews George has divulged that in 2013/14 he was given the ultimatum by his parents that next year either he needed to be securing additional sponsors, or he wouldn’t be able to race anymore, because they just didn’t have the funding for single seater series. George’s dad had sold their family business, his brother had stopped karting, they were travelling and sleeping in a tiny camping van to and from his races. His dad even reportedly slept in a horse box once, money was that tight. The poor kid was fifteen/sixteen at the time, he’d just left school the year before. It was a lot to put on him.
George credits this season as his make or break season in the second article, if he hadn’t won the f4 championship, he thinks that he might not have received funding to enter into the f3 seasons he did because his record would have only shown his okay but not great season at Koiranen, the team that he was forced to go to with only a weeks notice after losing his PREMA seat. While arguably he could have won there, it was nyck in a koiranen that won the season, that short notice change could have ended even worse. He doesn’t say it explicitly above, but this was the same year around the end of this season he reached out to Toto for financial help and thus would explain the comment about CV’s and needing to impress. The next season he went to Carlin after Toto told him not to, but still did well enough he’d been ‘unofficially’ signed as a merc junior by the end of 2016, made official the following year. Having that 2014 season go well was vital for George.
This is a lot of ramble ramble driver history, and its not Lances fault that his dad did that and put George in a risky place- but it DOES show how one easy swipe of Lawrences hand to move George from a seat he earned, could have ended his racing career. George is far from the only driver its happened to, both Ben Barnicoat and LANDO were blocked from PREMA seats. It’s one thing to buy your kid a seat. It’s another to pick their teammates.
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nateconnolly · 2 months
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What Does the Lion Turtle Chant Mean?
A podcast episode about the spirituality of Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Transcript Preview:
Many people have told me they struggle to take Sozin’s Comet seriously because they would have killed the Fire Lord without hesitation. And, look, as far as I’m concerned — if you’re willing to kill a genocidal colonizer, good for you! Many blessings upon your journey! And the show isn’t trying to dissuade you. 
Aang is not the only voice of wisdom in Avatar. He’s not a puppet through which the text articulates its meaning. Avatar is about cultural exchange. When one character says what they think is true, that isn’t necessarily the moral of a story. That’s one voice, and the story is a conversation. So, I don’t think that Sozin’s Comet is using Aang to say “Hey, you, you, looking at the TV, you personally should never support violent revolution!” Water Tribe culture doesn’t seem to have any problem with killing on the battlefield. 
When Sokka lops off the Melon Lord’s head, there’s some very clear indications that we’re supposed to be troubled. The musical cue, Momo eating the melon, he lingering focus on Aang’s reaction … But I don’t think this scene is meant to communicate that Sokka is a bad guy. Or that soldiers are inherently bad people. I assume that Hakoda, Bato, and Tyro killed people. These figures are portrayed as admirable, and even as mentors. 
The scene in which Sokka kills the Melon Lord is there to illustrate the difference between Southern Water Tribe culture and Air Nomad culture. Sokka’s journey is about embracing and reclaiming all the parts of his culture that the Fire Nation tried to destroy. He wasn’t able to go ice dodging or to train as a wolf warrior, but he has found a way to become a strong, protective man anyways. And that does mean that he’s willing to kill or die for a cause he believes in. This scene doesn’t communicate that Sokka is a bad person. It communicates that Sokka is walking his own path, and that Aang is walking a different path. But the show doesn’t try to tell you one of them is wrong and the other is right. 
At the same time, I think we need to remember that Aang is saying something he believes. It’s not just an emotional problem for him. 
Aang gives multiple related, but different reasons not to kill the Fire Lord.
“I didn’t feel like myself.” 
The Fire Lord “is still a human being.”
Killing goes against “everything the monks taught me.”
“All life is sacred.”
In Southern Raiders, he also makes a more general claim that “violence is never the answer,” but I think that the writers had to use the word “violence” as a euphemism. In our normal usage of the word, punching somebody would be a “violent” act. Aang clearly has no problem whacking people over the head or shooting wind at them. I think this is a way of making the show more kid friendly, and that what Aang actually means is 
“[Killing] is never the answer.”
Some of these claims are about Aang as an individual. He’s saying he doesn’t feel like he, specifically, can kill someone. That it goes against the values of his culture. And some of these are universal claims. He’s saying no one should kill, not ever. 
But he also believes in a separate ethical mandate. As the Avatar, he has to protect the world. In this lifetime, that means preventing the Fire Lord from burning the Earth Kingdom. 
This is a story about moral standards, and they seem impossible to live up to. There’s no easy answer. If you believe that murder is wrong, and you believe in the duties of the Avatar, then you have a conflict of values, not just emotions. In order to understand the Buddhist themes of Sozin’s Comet, we have to understand Buddhist ideas of morality. 
This podcast episode
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Transcript with Citations
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moonlightspencie · 10 months
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Devils Roll the Dice…
Description: A new recruit to the BAU catches Reid’s eye. Unfortunately for the both of them, she has a past with someone very close to him. Are they willing to keep secrets just to keep one another? (TWO-PART MINISERIES)
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader
Warnings: alcohol consumption, sexual references/content (i’ll accept 16+ because its definitely not more than pg-13 material but writing anything sexy makes me feel weird if i know teenagers are reading it)
Word Count: 4k
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I took a deep breath, looking in the mirror. I knew we were meeting the new recruit today, and just the thought of it exhausted me. Not that I didn’t like meeting new people. I just hated the break in routine.
We had a concrete team. Kate had already joined. We didn’t need anyone else coming in and messing up a very new rhythm we’d found with each other.
I finished tying my tie, pressing it down, and preemptively steeling myself against the new person. Probably some guy who didn’t know the difference between a tyrannical and enforcing sadist. Half of the students I’d met in recent guest lectures only wanted to go into the field because they’d listened too many crime podcasts anyways.
I walked into the bullpen, taking my seat as usual, ready to turn that cold shoulder at the first misstep of whoever this mystery recruit was. Unfortunately, I felt anything but cold when Hotch called our attention to the figure standing in his office doorway. He stood partially in front of her before he allowed her to stand right next to him as he introduced us. My eyes locked onto her at an embarrassing rate, and I felt far more embarrassed when she caught me and flashed a smirk.
She was anything but shy as a newbie, and for some reason that thrilled me. She wasn’t afraid to get into conversation with the team immediately as she unpacked her things at her new desk. She wasn’t afraid to tell Garcia everything she wanted to know. Much to my surprise, she wasn’t afraid to send me the cutest smiles every time she caught my eyes on her.
“Hey,” she said, walking up to me as I stood in the kitchenette.
Truthfully, I needed the time alone because of her. I couldn’t stop looking at her, and it was becoming a problem considering I was supposed to be doing work. She was just so… Different. She was sweet and funny and so attractive it made my mouth dry up.
“Hi,” I said after a moment. “Coffee?”
She nodded, holding out her mug. I filled it up from the pot in my hands after I topped off my own. She blew on it, looking up at me with big eyes. I watched her, not realizing how long it had been until she broke eye contact, a smile settling onto her face.
“You’re gonna keep watching me blow on my coffee?”
I opened my mouth to say something, but fell quiet when she smiled again. She moved the mug from her face.
“Got any advice for me with the BAU?”
I swallowed. “Uh, you came from Intelligence, right?”
She nodded, brows raised. “Yeah. How’d you know?”
“I was listening earlier. You said it to JJ.”
“Alright, so I know one fact about you other than the eidetic memory,” she said with a chuckle.
I smiled softly. “Right. Sorry, I haven’t been very talkative today.”
“That’s okay,” she said, giving me a reassuring smile. “I’ve tried really hard to get into this unit, so I don’t plan on leaving any time soon. We’ll have time to get to know one another.”
I nodded quickly. “Uh, so, advice. Um, I guess you should know this team is a lot like a family. We really care about each other, and we’re pretty close. Especially us field agents.”
“Good to know,” she nodded thoughtfully. “If you have any more wisdom floating around in that big ol’ brain of yours, let me know. I already heard Penelope calling you ‘boy wonder’, so I’d love to see you live up to that reputation.”
She finished off her sentence with a wink, turning away from me and rejoining the others who still gathered around her desk. She was shiny and new, and everyone wanted to know about her. I couldn’t blame them. I’d love to know as much as I could get my hands on.
One thing I learned very quickly is that she had a habit of flirting.
At first, I thought it was a general behavior she exhibited towards everyone. Then, after some keen observation I came to a terrible and exciting realization: she really only flirted with me.
I think most of it was due to the fact that she just liked to see me flustered. She could make it happen very easily, too. All it took was a sly, under-the-breath comment in passing and my face was turning red.
She’d smile at me, enjoying the tint in my cheeks. I’d stare back at her, just glad to see her smile.
Four weeks in and I was entirely wrapped around her finger.
She wasn’t shy about flirting on cases either, though she was always really good about making sure the only thing anyone ever saw was me being a total dork.
I almost never tried flirting back. I was pretty terrible at it anyways. But there were occasions when I’d make an attempt.
We were working on a case that leaned heavily on the geographical profile, meaning: I spent the entire case in the precinct. I finally cracked it after a few days, and the team found themselves at a farm. One of my least favorite places for a case to be, leaving me very thankful that I wasn’t along for the search and rescue. I really only went to the farm because everyone else was there.
By the time that I actually got to the crime scene, the unsub had already been apprehended. So, I stood near the cars, waiting on the others to come back. It was several minutes before I heard Hotch and Derek walking up and talking to one another. I turned as the rest of the team followed several steps behind. Y/N came into view last, and I couldn’t help but let out a laugh as she walked closer.
She gave me an exasperated smile, throwing her arms up as I took her in. She was covered in dried mud, clearly having taken a fall somewhere gross.
“I tripped and fell while doing absolutely nothing. I feel like you, all clumsy,” she joked, laughing.
I smiled, looking her up and down.
“How are you still pretty covered in dirt?”
“You can’t do that,” she said quickly, looking over her shoulder. “Not right now, anyways.”
I scrunched up my face. She had been much more forwardly flirtatious on cases before now. I couldn’t fathom how this was any different, especially since all I did was make a flirty comment. I guess my facial expression could’ve conveyed more. I seemed to have a hard time concealing my feelings for her when she looked at me the way she did.
“Why?”
She looked behind her again, like she was keeping an eye out for someone. But the only person there was Morgan. Maybe she was afraid of him telling on us for flirting on the job. But he was the one that relentlessly flirted with everyone else. Why would he be coming after us? Maybe she didn’t know that well enough.
“Morgan flirts with people all the time. He’s not going to—”
“Spencer,” she groaned, grabbing my arm and pulling me behind the SUV.
I furrowed my brow again. “What?”
“If I tell you something, you have to promise not to get weird about it.”
“Get… Weird?”
“Like, don’t be all freaked out,” she clarified.
“Okay,” I said, unsure where this was heading.
She cleared her throat, stealing one more glance at him. She looked back at me, chewing her lip with a coy smile. I had a feeling that now wasn’t the time, but I blushed, unable to stop myself from fully taking her in. Luckily, my upstairs brain started working again just in time to give all my attention to her as she started speaking.
“I’m sure this will make things a little awkward,” she stated, sighing softly, “but, he and I… Uh, Derek and I, we have a history.”
I quirked a brow. “Oh? How?”
She stared at me, expecting me to take a hint that I was most certainly not picking up on.
“We… We were involved. Romantically.”
My brows shot up. “Oh.”
“Yeah. It was only like five months, really, but,” she shrugged. “That happened. Hence why it’s been a little awkward between us.”
She said that bit like it was the most obvious thing in the world, but I hadn’t been any the wiser about it. Maybe it was just another case of me being a little more oblivious than some of my coworkers about behaviors that didn’t have to do with the job. Maybe I was just too enamored with her to pay attention to how she interacted with our coworker.
“I didn’t notice,” I said quietly.
“Good. I’ve been hoping to keep it on the down-low,” she said with a laugh. “I haven’t exactly wanted to endure teasing from the team about sleeping with Derek of all people.”
I swallowed, not having thought about the fact that she’d been… Physical with him. More so, that he’d gotten to be with her in that way. He’d seen her. Heard her. Felt her. All of her. I took in a breath, clearing my head of that image.
“I’m sorry, I should’ve told you sooner if I was going to keep flirting like this,” she said, suddenly a little shy as she shoved her hands in her pockets. “I know you two are close.”
“Yeah. I’m surprised he didn’t tell us about you.”
She laughed. “Our relationship wasn’t completely… A serious thing.”
“Serious enough to last five months.”
She snorted. “Most of the time we spent together wasn’t exactly romantic. He was great, but we both kind of used each other. Hard time in life for both of us back then.”
“Ah,” I said, nodding curtly. “So it was mostly, uh— Sexual?”
She smirked, looking away. “Not entirely just that. But that was a lot of it.”
I nodded again, feeling my cheeks flush. She nudged my arm, pulling my attention again.
“It’s been well over a year now since that all happened,” she said quietly. “I just… I don’t want to rock the boat right now. Being new to the unit, I should probably try my best to be on everyone’s good side, you know?”
“I get it. I’ll stop with the flirting,” I said, giving what I hoped was an affirming smile.
She furrowed her brow. “That’s not what I meant.”
“It isn’t?”
“The flirting is fine, I just think… Maybe we should keep it a little more quiet when we’re around the others,” she shrugged. “If that’s okay.”
“You’re okay with me— doing that?”
“Spencer, I don’t know if you know this, but you’re crazy hot.”
I was certainly blushing now. I swallowed, blinking in surprise as I looked at her. Her smile only grew. She enjoyed teasing me. I couldn’t say I didn’t like it just as much as she did.
“Uh, th-thank you?”
She rolled her eyes. “Quit acting so shy as if you don’t already know.”
My eyes widened. “I’m not acting.”
“Every woman who meets you flirts with you.”
“No they don’t,” I argued, my brows knitting together.
“Are you blind?”
“No,” I said, still in a state of confusion.
She laughed it off. “Alright, boy wonder, we’d better join the group. They’re gathering like vultures.”
I followed after her as she integrated into the group where they stood as Hotch spoke. She was so good at finding her way in. I was thrilled to see how she’d find her place in my life going forward.
In the following weeks, she gave me an idea of what that would look like. Stolen glances at every turn had my heart racing. It went even faster every time she found a way to touch me in some inconspicuous way.
A hand on my arm as she asked about the maps I was working on. A brush of fingers as she’d hand me a coffee cup. Her shoulder pressed into mine to whisper to me some detail of a case that really could’ve been said at full volume.
She usually didn’t step past those boundaries though, ever cautious not to let herself get caught out by anyone else. The comments she made towards me were still relentless, however. I didn’t know how she had it hidden so well.
I, however, had much more trouble hiding my attraction, and I was sure I’d heard some of my teammates whispering to each other about it. They’d give me knowing looks every time I got caught out staring at her. Even Morgan gave what seemed like mostly-good natured glances my way when I paid a bit too much attention to her. Probably only because he didn’t know that I knew about them, and even more likely didn’t want anyone else to know. It would be a tell-tale sign if he didn’t make fun of me.
It felt wrong to be keeping this odd little secret from him. I wasn’t necessarily sneaking around with his ex-girlfriend, but we were still flirting. We were still hiding something from him. I wondered how he’d react if he found out, and hoped for my sake that he was well and truly over it.
Especially after our last night on a case in Georgia. The summer air in the state was hot, and it felt like it was actively pulling air from my lungs every time I went outside. Maybe it was some kind of metaphor for what was to come.
I held back for hours from going to her door. The teasing had been terribly relentless the entire time we were on the case, and the week before. Tension was building, and I knew if I was easily picking up on it, she definitely had to be.
I paced around my room, contemplating my options. If I went to her, there was a chance we’d finally talk about whatever was happening between us. There was also a chance she’d tell me to leave if I attempted to tell her how I really felt, and I’d be left pining over her probably forever. Both were pretty scary.
Either way, I decided it was better than continuing to fall for her without having a real conversation about it. I walked to the door, my hand on the handle.
She stood just outside my door, her hand raised as if she was about to knock when I tugged it open. A smile graced her pretty lips, her hand dropping.
“Looks like we had the same idea,” she stated, pushing past me into my room. “Good timing.”
“It was.”
She chewed at her lip, looking around the space with her arms crossed. I stared at her as she took it all in, waiting for whatever was on her mind to be put out into the open. She looked back at me, apparently reading my mind.
“We’re both waiting on each other to speak up, huh?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“This is a ridiculous thing we’re doing right now. It’s like sneaking around with any of the fun parts,” she said with a laugh.
“I think it’s fun,” I shrugged.
“It could be more fun.”
I swallowed. “Yeah. But I’m happy just to have your attention.”
She smirked, walking towards me.
“I think you’re kind of needy.”
“Maybe.”
“It’s cute.”
I blushed, giving her a smile as I looked away. She still looked at me like she was about to devour me. I could sympathize with all of those animals I saw in nature documentaries as the predator closed in on them. It was in vivid color. She stalked closer and closer, knowing full well that my guard was down enough for her to launch an attack.
“You really enjoy this, don’t you?” I asked. “Knowing you make me flustered. Half of the time I can hardly talk when I’m around you. Everyone knows it, and they all think it’s one-sided.”
She leaned her chest into mine, surely able to feel how fast my heart beat for her.
“Are you embarrassed by it?”
“No.”
Her hands crept their way up under my shirt, leaving goosebumps in their wake as if her touch didn’t feel as hot as the sun. I watched her silently, letting her do whatever she wanted. She couldn’t asked me to jump out of the seventh-floor window with her and I would’ve gone head first without a question.
Panic only crept in when she started leaning in closer to my face, and I realized her lips were on a path that would end with mine.
“Wait,” I said, grabbing her wrists.
Her eyes widened, pulling her head back slightly.
“Are you okay?”
“I just don’t think this is a good idea,” I breathed out.
She retreated from me, and it was hard not to let my body follow hers. She was only a step away, but it felt like a continent’s worth of space. My fingers itched to reach out and pull her back in.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly, eyes wandering over her face.
She swallowed. “I don’t know what you want, Spence. One minute you’re telling me you want me, the next you’re pushing me away.”
Logic kept trying to overtake my head. It was annoying.
“I can’t… You’re Morgan’s ex.”
She sighed. “I’m also a human being. I am my own person separate from him. One that is very attracted to you.”
I wet my lips, not missing how her eyes followed the action. I felt a fluttering in my stomach just watching her react. She smiled, as always, catching me in the act of being wildly into her. She took half a step forward.
“You’re telling me this is a bad idea, but every time I look at you I’m getting a different message.”
I swallowed. “I know.”
“So, which is it?”
“It is a bad idea,” I started, intending on making it a whole sentence, but not knowing what to say next.
“But?”
“But I don’t know if I care enough to stop it.”
She smirked again, not holding back this time. She reached up, pulling me down to her lips with her hands wrapped in my hair. I wound my arms around her waist, pulling her tightly into me. I relished feeling her body fully pressed against mine, especially when she let out a contented sigh as I deepened the kiss. She started guiding my backwards towards the bed, and I obliged her silent request until the backs of my knees were against the mattress.
“Sit,” she requested, the word whispered against my lips.
I did, peering up at her as she staying standing in between my legs. She grasped my chin in her soft hand, tilting up my head to see me.
“How sure about this are you?”
“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully.
She smiled. “Good. I don’t either.”
She dropped into my lap, kissing me like we hadn’t even stopped in the first place. My hands gripped her hips for the first time, and she was everything I had daydreamed about. Soft and responsive. I couldn’t imagine being the one to let her go, and I found myself questioning Morgan’s judgment in that moment.
It made me feel even better every time she smiled or made a little comment about the ways I reacted to her. Usually I’d be embarrassed, but she just made me feel good.
“Sweet boy,” she mumbled against me, moving her lips from my jaw and down my neck.
My hands found themselves wandering across her back, and my eyes were practically stuck shut as I felt her lips against my skin. I could’ve died right then and there and been happy to go.
But a knock at the door sent us both into high alert. She sat up straight, looking towards the door.
I stood with her legs still wrapped around me before I turned and dropped her on the bed. She bounced on the mattress, looking up at me with a surprised smile.
“Just— Stay here and stay quiet. Please,” I said, then walked to the door, trying to frantically fix my hair.
I cleared my throat as I opened the door, forcing myself to not look like I was embarrassingly close to…
I shook myself out of that thought the second I saw Morgan. He definitely put an end to any sexy thoughts that clouded my head.
“Hey, kid, can I ask you something?”
I furrowed my brow. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “I just… Do you know what’s been up with JJ? She’s been a little off. Won’t really talk to me, so I was wondering if she said anything to you.”
I let out a breath of relief. “No, she hasn’t told me anything. But I know Henry’s been pretty sick the past week. Maybe that’s it.”
“Hm,” he hummed, nodding slowly. “Alright, thanks. Just… Worried, you know?”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “It’s JJ, though. She’ll be okay.”
“Right, yeah, I know,” he nodded again. “Alright. Thanks, again. You get some sleep tonight, alright?”
I nodded, bidding him a goodnight. I shut the door, seeing her on the bed still. She was propped up on her elbows, smirking at me.
“That ruin the mood?”
I locked the door.
“Not particularly.”
To my surprise, she ended up being the one who wanted to take it slow. We kissed for another hour or so when I got back within her reach, but didn’t go much further. Not that I was in a position to complain. I was ecstatic just to be touching her, and she somehow felt the same about me. I wasn’t sure I’d ever understand why that was.
She’d told me when I’d dropped onto the bed, crawling over top of her, that she didn’t want to go all the way. She said it so sweet. Almost like she was afraid of whatever answer I’d give to her. As if I’d say I didn’t want to kiss her all night long.
Besides, I was pretty sure I’d spontaneously combust if we had gone any further.
We woke up the next morning, still holding onto one another. She had changed into my t-shirt before she climbed into bed with me, and looked absolutely incredible with her messy bed-head and sleepy smile.
“Good morning,” she mumbled.
“It is a very good morning,” I said, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
Her hand pressed against my cheek, the smile spreading on her face as she looked at me.
“You’re adorable,” she said quietly, granting me another kiss.
I sighed. “I don’t think I want to stop this.”
“Why would we?” she asked with an incredulous smile.
“Because, I mean, we can’t tell anyone about us,” I said with a shrug. “I just thought you wouldn’t want to make this— A thing.”
She wet her lips. “We don’t have to tell anyone in order to be together.”
I contemplated that for a moment. I’d never considered having a completely private relationship. At least not with someone who wasn’t actively being stalked. That was an entirely different scenario. I guess to her, it was probably scary to get into a relationship with one of your ex’s best friends. I couldn’t blame her for that.
I took a breath. “You… You want to keep it a secret?”
She nodded. “If that’s okay with you.”
“I’ll do whatever you want,” I said with a nod, not bothering to filter my thoughts as they came out into the open.
She smiled. “Anything?”
“Almost. I draw the line at murder.”
She laughed. “Team’d catch you anyways.”
I laughed right back, giving her another kiss. She leaned into my touch, shyness creeping into her face.
“I do really like you, Spencer.”
I nodded. “I do too.”
“This’ll be great, you know?”
She smiled brightly, causing one to form on my face. She brushed my hair away from my face, just looking at me.
“Yeah. I know.”
…ANGELS ROLL THEIR EYES (part 2)
478 notes · View notes
redclercs · 11 months
Text
DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.
vii. all of my enemies started out friends
— the one where you get the sense you've been betrayed.
warnings: death threats, foul language, a panic attack. 2.7k words. (+written articles) not proofread whoops.
masterlist ✢ next
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By Alana Blake
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WELL, all of our doubts have been cleared, here is the reason as to why our ex favorite couple called it quits months ago. Thank you to our anonymous source for spilling the tea!
First things first, let's not lie to ourselves, we all thought it had been Aidan Kim who had finally dumped y/n's ass for good. But as it turns out, he wanted to keep her forever? Aidan, boy...
Anyway, one night in February (ehem Valentine's Day, so cliché) he dropped down on one knee, popped the question with a beautiful Tiffany's ring and... Y/N SAID NO! Insert gasps here.
Without a good enough reason to justify her denial, y/n immediately ran to the opposite coast, where she currently resides with best friend, beauty guru and influencer Victoria Presley.
RELATED: Victoria Presley inaugurates first 'Presley Beauty' store in Beverly Hills.
Our source also confirmed y/n's blooming romance with Formula 1 pilot, Charles Leclerc.
"They are seeing each other, yes," the source said, "y/n doesn't want to call it a 'thing' since she's probably going to get bored of the poor guy.''
Well, there you have it. It looks like y/n's only talent is being a maneater. Somebody warn Charles Leclerc he's just piece of meat in the eyes of y/n!
SEE ALSO:
→ Victoria Presley attends the Monaco Grand Prix.
→ y/n y/ln reportedly auditioned for 'The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes'
→ Aidan Kim is currently recording his first solo album.
𝙂𝙊𝙏 𝙎𝙊𝙈𝙀𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 𝙎𝘼𝙔? 𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙑𝙀 𝘼 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏 𝘽𝙀𝙇𝙊𝙒!
You're seeing the top comments.
Anonymous – 4 hr ago
If I ever see y/n on the street i will literally kill her
sk12z8io – 3 hr ago
I KNEW SHE NEVER DESERVED AIDAN
mickeyyy – 40 min ago
she fucking cheated you cannot convince me otherwise
chiqin– 10 min ago
oh she's vile, rejecting a marriage proposal and getting together with another dude two months later? TRASH.
Anonymous – 10 min ago
I want to know who the source is and why are they speaking until now
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WHO would have thought? y/n y/ln the "Queen of RomComs" where cheating is basically a Deadly Sin, is in fact, a cheater!
The news about y/n rejecting Aidan Kim's marriage proposal came out only a few hours ago via Inside Out, and while they claim y/n didn't have a good enough reason not to get engaged to Kim, we believe quite the opposite.
Having a side-piece is a perfectly good reason, actually. Sources, who wished to remain anonymous, confirmed that at the time of the proposal, y/n was already seeing Monegasque pilot Charles Leclerc, but they had been able to keep it a secret until Elix contract made y/n start showing up at Grand Prix.
Although the information spreading around is still unclear, we can be sure of two things: Aidan Kim dodged a bullet and y/n is probably the worst person on Earth.
#Y/NIsOverParty
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June 3rd Barcelona, Spain.
You're sitting with Charles and Carlos when you get the first ping on your phone. You don't give it much thought, Mildred told you she'd send you two script excerpts she wanted you to practice for an audition video, plus your phone doesn't even really stop ringing.
Spain has been fun so far, you have been around both Carlos and Charles around a lot lately. Carlos is always keen on dropping facts about his country and you got, just like with Charles, his special edition Ferrari merch. This time you wear it, because fuck fashion podcasts.
Charles doesn't let this slip, feigning annoyance that you prefer to wear a Spain cap than a Monaco one, and telling you he will in fact take it personally. But he doesn't, of course, he's thrilled you're more comfortable around both of them. Enough to join them for dinner yesterday and today.
The Ferrari boys are talking about FP3 and how Qualifying might go later. They've done pretty well this weekend, and you're hoping Carlos will end the Grand Prix on the podium like Charles did last week.
"Is that your phone?" Carlos asks, he's tried his best for the last few minutes to ignore the never-ending flow of notifications, even after you've silenced it, the vibration still makes him lose focus on the conversation.
"Sorry," you wince, knowing how annoying it is. "It's probably Vic."
"Everything okay?" Charles frowns, following your hands as you take your phone out of your pocket again to activate the Do Not Disturb.
"Yeah, I don't—"
Your sentence hangs in the air unfinished as you read the screen, the last notification comes from Matilde an 'are you okay? call me' text. And then your eyes slide to the BREAKING NEWS from People Magazine, whose notifs you forgot to deactivate. You don't even know why you have the app anymore.
The preview shows your picture, a red x on your face and the words 'Cheater Alert' capitalized and bold.
"y/n?" you see the motion of Carlos' hand from the corner of your eye, but by now, you're obsessively scrolling down the 150+ notifications on your phone. Texts, calls, e-mails, tweets, comments.
You stop in the INSIDE OUT EXCLUSIVE the moment your eyes catch the word 'ring'.
They know.
And if they know, everyone knows.
Charles pushes his chair back, making the half empty styrofoam cup of coffee you were drinking spill all over the table. "What's wrong?"
Aidan has told them. Aidan fucking Kim, petty and vengeful Aidan Kim has told them about the ring. Because he wants to bury you so far down, you'll never be able to claw your way out of the hole.
Who else could have been? You told no one. Not a soul. How can a person not even tell their parents that she got a marriage offer and said no immediately, right before hopping on a plane to the other side of the country?
But cheating? Where the fuck did that come from? He's even lying now. Because he hates you, of course he hates you. Aidan Kim is not used to humilliation and that's what you did when you rejected him. And although it was an unspoken accord that you wouldn't tell anyone about it, he has done so, because what is better for his upcoming album than being the heartbroken artist with the bitch for an ex.
People are going to write 'It's your loss y/n!' with their proof of streaming for a retweet from Aidan's account, managed by a 34-year-old guy who can't stand Aidan's fans on a normal basis.
"I– I have to–" your mouth is dry, tongue thick and heavy, and you feel the cold shower of anxiety from your nape to your tailbone. This can't be happening.
And you don't know what you have to do. Call Mildred and Walter? Ask them what the fuck is going on over there and start an actual damage control PR thing? It's too late for that.
"What can we do?" Carlos questions this time, worry flows in his voice at the change in your semblance. "What can we do for you?"
You're scared, because people have talked shit endlessly for weeks thinking it had been Aidan who dumped you, changing the narrative, twisting it time and time again.
They have suspected you broke up with Aidan, they have dragged you through the mud, called you heartless for getting over him so quickly. Paired you up with Charles and called you both problematic for breathing around each other and being friends.
And they might have forgiven you eventually, but not if you actually broke Aidan Kim's heart and burned down his dream of a house, a marriage and a happy family. And by cheating.
He's lying, but who would believe you?
Your already agonizing career is never coming out of this. And at this point, maybe acting seems irrelevant compared to the way people are going to treat you from now on. No one forgets a woman who humiliates a man so publicly. She doesn't deserve to be forgiven, not when she's such a bitch.
"I can't breathe," you wheeze, clutching your hand against the fabric of your shirt. Your hands are prickling, and your brain is fogged, foreign. "I can't breathe."
Neither man touches you as you lean down, hands on your knees, shutting your eyes so hard you think your eyeballs might explode.
You feel one of the boys move, but you don't open your eyes to see who left. Your priority is getting air into your lungs, and you can't seem to do even just that.
"y/n," Charles is the one who stayed, and despite speaking slowly, you recognize the underlying panic there. "I'm going to touch you, okay?"
Your only response is a strangled noise as you breathe through your mouth.
Charles runs his hand down your back, you can feel his rings and the heat of his palm. “Try to breathe through your nose, y/n.”
He feels stupid for saying it, but it’s the only advice he sees fit. Carlos left to look for the medical staff that Ferrari takes with them everywhere.
You squeeze your thighs with your hands and again take a gasp of air. “I can’t. Help me, I can’t.”
Charles makes you straighten up by grabbing your shoulders gently. “Please try. You’re speaking you can breathe.”
You breathe through your nose, but it isn’t enough to relieve the pressure on your chest.
Carlos comes back just when you feel like you will pass out. And you let the medical staff lead you away, leaving both your friends behind, worried sick and wondering what could have possibly triggered you like that.
You're still lying in the gurney after Qualifying is done. The medical team doesn't let you watch it, you should not be subjected to strong emotions right now. The thing is, the strong emotions haven't even started. You need to talk to your team, and you want to talk to Aidan. You've only heard from him twice since your breakup in February, the last time three days ago when he texted you 'out of SoHo'.
In all honesty, you're not certain you'll be able to hold a conversation with him without telling him to go fuck himself or having another panic attack. But you must know the reasoning behind his actions, no matter how stupid it is. How angrier it will make you. You want to understand why the person that once loved you is stabbing you in the back like this.
You're free to go an hour later, and it's some kind of miracle that you're relieved of your Elix duties. Maybe it has to do with the disaster that Ferrari's Quali was, in contrast to the Free Practices. No one wants to make things worse, or have pictures to remember it.
By the time you're back in your hotel room, Aidan's campaign has been transported to Youtube. And it's only 10 am in Los Angeles.
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FROM AIDAN KIM’S YOUTUBE CHANNEL “STATEMENT ON RECENT NEWS”
You are looking at the top comments.
star5dan he had to find out he got cheated on thanks to People? fuck
flowerbedkim I'm not even joking, i will end y/n
dropbeats1 it takes a lot of courage to propose, y/n is def a bitch
stardomyn you knew y/n for years and you can't defend her? she is obviously not a cheater.
aidanyn this keeps getting worse i can't pick a side😭
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You read the articles sitting in your bed. Legs crossed and back curved, with your shoulders slumping forward. It's like you have the whole weight of the world back in them, and you're not even sure you're strong enough to carry it anymore.
Did you really not have a good enough reason to say no? Not having a good reason to say yes should be enough, at least that's the way you think about it.
But you had many, many reasons. Some you'd denied yourself to even think about before he pulled the ring out of his pocket.
Every relationship has its ups and downs, you knew that. You know that. But how long can you stay in an all time low?
Maybe you lied to yourself saying Aidan had never hinted marriage was in his plans. He mentioned it in interviews, and in casual conversations with other people. He would tell you that “in the future” you’d have to reconsider being an actress. That you should really think about the roles you wanted to take on so they didn’t haunt you (and you hypothetical children) in the future.
Aidan would drop comments about how you should stick to the easy parts of acting, making the same movies, for example. How you should behave a certain way and shut your mouth in specific occasions.
How you had to change yourself to fit into what he wanted.
And you did. Because at first, it wasn’t that he wanted you to change for him. He made you think he wanted you to change for your own good.
And that night in February, you realized you were scared. The thought of spending the rest of your life like that terrified you. So you ran, and that was really the bravest thing you could have done.
And the bravest thing you can do now is stand up to him. Because he cannot keep on stepping on you and destroying what you built for yourself.
"Hello?"
You're shocked he actually picks up your call but you can't back down now.
"What the fuck, Aidan?" you try not to raise your voice, you do your best to help the strain that comes from not crying. You're furious, not sad, but you know Aidan won't recognize the difference. "What the fuck is this whole circus you're putting up now?"
The way he chuckles makes you want to throw your phone across the room.
"Do you really think that was me?" he asks, changing his voice to a lower tone. "Do you think I willingly say the girl I invested three years of my life on said she didn't want to marry me?"
"Well who else could have been? Do you think I'm stupid?"
"It was not me, y/n! Jesus Christ I don't know how many people—"
"So it was your sister, that bitch?"
"Don't you call me sister a bitch ever again."
Well Mia Kim is a bitch. And she was for the whole three years you dated Aidan.
Starting with telling anyone who would listen that you were after Aidan for clout, even after you hooked her up with your acting instructor and helped her get a minor role in Outer Banks. Comments on your appearance, on your acting, and the way you Aidan and you got along. And the worst part was that every time you two saw each other she acted like she adored you.
"She is a bitch, Aidan, and this is something she would do out of spite! Also, cheating? Are you fucking kidding me?"
"I don't put anything past you, y/n." Aidan chuckles again, it's sarcastic and bothersome.
"Fuck you, Aidan. We knew each other for years, and suddenly I'm the worst person on Earth?"
"Yeah, maybe you always were and whoever is letting people know is doing the world a huge favor."
Your skin isn't thick enough yet, and his words hit the way he intended.
"I'm glad people are eating you alive, y/n," he continues as your silence prolongs, you can't swallow the tears now. "It's what you deserve."
He hangs up before you can respond, and it doesn't matter anymore. There's nothing you can say to make him admit to his crimes, and he's happy. He's happy you're being torn down in such a vile way.
The phone inside your hotel room rings and you pick it up before being able to pull yourself together. The 'what?' that lashes out catches the woman downstairs off guard, and this is another thing you add to the list of things that make you the worst person on planet Earth.
"Someone is here for you, Miss y/ln," she says in an apologetic tone, "Mr. Leclerc?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to speak to you like that," you take a deep breath, and then process her words. "Leclerc?"
"Hmhmm," she hums, "Should I send him upstairs?"
The alarm clock next to the phone shows 19:57 in red and you remember you agreed to meet him and Carlos for dinner at seven thirty. You didn't even shower or changed.
"Uh– yeah, please do."
You splash cold water on your face and brush your teeth in the two minutes it takes him to get to your room.
Charles knows there's something wrong the moment you open the door, and it doesn't take a genius, really. But you wish he was oblivious to the way you look and the off-putting energy you give off.
"I'm sorry I'm late," you say making space for him to enter the mess of a room you have. "Is Carlos waiting downstairs?"
"He's at the restaurant already," Charles shrugs, it doesn't matter that you've made them both wait over twenty minutes. "Are you okay?"
You sit on your bed, letting him stand in the middle of the room, like a mannequin out of place. You have two options, lying to him, pushing everything under the rug and lookin for your purse to meet Carlos downstairs. Or tell the truth and burst out crying in front of him.
You don't like either.
So you stay silent, looking at patterns in the rug and trying to get your racing brain to come to a stop, if only to have a decent meal with the two guys that saw you panic hours ago.
Charles sits down next to you, the mattress gives to his side, sinking. "Do you want to talk about it?"
You eye his hand as he places it on top of the washed out knee of his jeans. The prominent veins and the three rings on his fingers. You remember the way it felt when he ran his hand down your back.
"I don't." you reply, taking your eyes back to his face. You wonder if he knows, just doesn't want to mortify you about it. That he's 'just a piece of meat' and a 'homewrecker'. You wonder if Carlos knows too.
"Do you still want to come downstairs?" Charles tilts his head, giving you a smile that lifts one corner of his mouth.
"Sure, let's do that," you get up from the bed smoothing your jeans down although there's nothing wrong with them, and regaining that self-consciousness that you didn't even change your clothes for dinner while Charles is looking like that in a clean white shirt. "Sorry for being late."
Charles lets you roam around the room looking for your purse for two minutes, still sitting on the edge of your bed, before speaking again. "We really like you, y/n. I really like you."
You snap out of your self-induced trance, pretending like you were checking you had everything you needed in your purse. "What?"
"Carlos and I really like you, and so does Matilde, and that friend of yours Victoria. You're not alone, I hope you know that."
He's seeing right through you again.
And the effort that took you to pull yourself together and the self-deprecating words that ran through your head to force yourself not to cry in front of him are all left behind, as you burst out crying.
You let Charles hold you, his right hand on the nape of your neck while the other soothes you the way it did earlier. He doesn't complain about the way your tears stain his shirt, and doesn't even make a sound as you sob.
And you stay like that for as long as you need to, although you haven't cried nearly enough. It has to suffice for now. Because you have to go back to L.A. and fix the mess Aidan created.
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─── team principal radio: ❝i feel like i'm doing rowoon super dirty by having him as aidan kim, tbh. anyway, i hope you enjoyed this chapter! reblogs and comments/asks are highly appreacited, i'd love to know your thoughts!♡❞
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730 notes · View notes
pompettepink · 11 months
Text
Type of men NOT to date
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Dating in the 2020's is so rough! It feels like so many people are just looking for hookups and too many women are getting forced into "situationships" in the hopes that "more" will come out of it, but "more" never happens. Ladies, save yourselves the heartache and leave these type of low level men ALONE
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A man who asks "what you bring to the table"
He is thinking transactionally. He wants to know beforehand what act of service he can expect from you in the future. Whatever comes out of your mouth will be his checklist in the relationship and he WILL bring it up when you "fail to meet expectations".
A man who disrupts your peace
A man who is prone to fits of rage and refuses to seek help will take you down with him. He will actively work to destroy your self worth and possessions. Any man coming into your life MUST be giving you peace that is BETTER than the peace you find within yourself.
A man with low quality friends
There's a very high chance that if a man is in his mid to late 20s and is still friends with his highschool buddies they are actively holding him back. There needs to be far more substance in a male friendship than bonding over a band one time in a 10th grade science class. Having old time friends is amazing, but everyone in the friend group should be maturing at the same pace and having adult conversations and not just sharing their girlfriends nudes with the homies in the groupchat
A man who listens to Bro Podcasters
Self explanatory. There should be NO reason that a man sees value in anything a violent misogynist has to say. It is NOT NORMAL for a man to take lifestyle advice from broken men who are NOT living the lifestyle they're advocating for (monogamous long term relationship with the intention of marriage and providing for their wife and kids). Unless he is compiling information to loudly denounce those views and see those podcasters as an enemy of men, you have no business dating someone like that
A man who idolizes 50/50 relationships
Expecting your partner to go 50/50 with everything and anything is insecure and immature. In reality you can't ALWAYS split the bills. Sometimes things come up. Like card only payments, cash only payments, misplaced wallet, dead phone, payment deadline, accidents etc etc. If he expects every instance involving money to be split into two equal bills he WILL be resentful towards you if you fail to deliver. He should also be more than happy to spoil you when he can and pay in full
A man who struggles building relationships with women
You aren't going to be any different just because he's fucking you. And this isn't about a struggle that results from trauma (abusive mom). This is about ANY woman in his life. If he can't connect with his sisters and can't "really" explain "why", or if he's never had a female friend, that's a red flag. It's most likely that he can't build relationships with women who he isn't sexually attracted to, making him more likely to misconstrued any interaction with a pretty woman as grounds to cheat
An unkempt man
He doesn't need to be the world's best dresser, but he MUST care about his appearance. You two will be seen together constantly and in social settings others will view you as a single unit. You are doing a disservice to yourself by being with a man who has a hands-off attitude with the way he presents himself and always choices to go out with wrinkled stained clothes, dirty hair, a smelly outfit, and a wardrobe full of holes and filth
A man who moves too fast
Why is this man trying to get you into bed yet he doesn't even know your last name? Casual flings are totally fine and super appropriate for any adult to be a part of. But if you're looking to seriously date you HAVE to be picky. Even if your connection is magnetic off the bat restraint should be shown until the commitment is there. If you tell him you only want to have sex with a committed man and he gets mad, pressures you, or asks you to be official on the spot and then have sex afterwards, he just wants to orgasm, nothing more
A man who's all talk and no action
If a man talks about how close he feels to you, but doesn't try to commit, he's keeping you away from love. If a man romantically messages you everyday, but doesn't take you on a date, he's a pen pal. If he's always talking about going for a big promotion, but doesn't put in the work the position requires, he's just a job holder. Actions speak louder than words and if he wanted to, he would
A man who struggles with handling you
Far too many men couple up with talented, sexy, smart, extrovert women, then try to change them when they become official because they can't keep up with her. If she was a sexy dresser BEFORE you started dating, you should expect the same WHILE you're dating. If she was always having deeply intellectual conversations BEFORE you started dating, you should expect the same WHILE you're dating. If she had a large group of friends that she loved hanging out with BEFORE you started dating, you should expect the same WHILE you're dating. If he can't keep up with you then he shouldn't take up space in your circle
A man who is incompetent with chores
Need I say more? Chores aren't rocket science. If he can't cook a meal from start to finish you'll be forced to be his personal chef. If he can't do a load of laundry you'll be forced to be his laundromat. If he doesn't know how to sweep, mop, or vacuum you'll be forced to be his maid. Never choose to be a servant when well rounded men exist in the dating pool
A man who doesn't boast about you
He should be proud to have you as his partner. Everyone in his life should know that you two are dating. He should want to walk behind you and open doors for you so that everyone can see you before they see him. He should always want to hold your hand and feel disgusted when other people hit on him. If he says he "lives a private life" and doesn't want to post you on his social media or be seen kissing you in public it's because he doesn't want his wife and other girlfriend to catch him cheating
Never let anyone convince you that it's impossible to find a man of quality because "your standards are too high". You're the prize and for your sake you should never expect the bare minimum for love
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torhues · 2 years
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tsukishima kei.
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"you're crying," tsukishima speaks over your soft sobs filling the atmosphere around an empty staircase.
"thanks for noticing, idiot," even though your throat is soar and you're barely in a position to say something, you manage to utter words of delightful gratitude, or insult, whatever fits the situation better.
he sighs, and you feel him sit next to you. to be honest, he's the last person you expected to see at the moment, and also the last person you wished would see you in your current state.
you don't have anything against again, not at all, but neither of you can stand each other's presence, especially you. perhaps, it's the way he refuses to compromise, or the moments he straight up calls your ideas stupid and lame, always getting on your nerves. tsukishima isn't a half bad student, but he sure is the worst project partner you could've been assigned.
another sigh escapes his lips. "if you would tell me what happened, maybe i can help,"
"yeah, no thanks, asshole," you reply.
"i don't see the need to call me names when i'm being nice to you,"
"jesus, tsukishima, i don't want to talk to anyone right now so please leave me alone," there's annoyance in your voice, hints of anger in your eyes, a frown on your face while you try your best to compose yourself and not break down.
it doesn't faze him.
tsukishima doesn't even blink. in fact, he looks at you as if he's used to seeing you this way. his eyes are still brimming with indifference, or maybe there's a little bit of emotion— warmth— you don't know, it's hard to figure out. reading him is hard because on other days, tsukishima doesn't seem to care.
he takes a deep breath, pulling out his phone from the pocket before leaning against the step behind him. "guess we're staying quiet,"
and you don't know why he doesn't leave.
the typical tsukishima would be with his friend or in a corner of the classroom, sitting by himself with air-pods plugged in. some say he listens to crime podcasts while others have seen him re-listen to the lectures, which could be the reason behind his excellent grades. on normal days, he would call you stupid for minor miscalculations in mathematics, suggesting that you should sign up for remedial classes before it's too late.
maybe, it's the significant change in weather today that has got him acting this way. maybe, he just needs someone to kill his boredom and coincidently, you happen to need someone who would lend you an ear.
"i broke up with my boyfriend," you begin, eyes on the gray tiles, voice low enough to equalize a whisper. "well, he broke up with me, and even though i said that i fucking hate him and that i'm better off without him, it hurts, y'know?"
tsukishima sighs again. it's a lighter one this time, like a sigh of relief, a sigh without stress, a sigh of comfort. you wait for him to speak but, all you hear is silence. for a second, you wonder if it was a wrong decision to tell him this in the first place, and the reason is far beyond the ideologies of sharing your weakness with your biggest rival. to put it simply, you don't think tsukishima is the right person to find comfort within.
he slips his phone back inside the pocket. "you curse a lot when you're angry, or upset,"
"is that what you inferred from everything i told you?"
he shrugs. "perhaps,"
"gosh, i new this was a bad idea," actually, you thought it was a good idea to share a few things with him, just for a brief second. of course, this isn't the only decision you'd be regretting, but you still hope you could go back in time and stop yourself while you still had the chance.
you grab your bag, swinging it up your shoulders before taking a last look at him, hoping he'd say something else, something worth noting instead of initiating pointless talks. when nothing comes your way from his side, you decide to leave on your own accord, for your own good.
"crying over men is lame," his words make you halt in your way. "just saying," and it's surprising and equally fascinating to hear something along those lines from his mouth.
"i know," you chuckle, "but, some of us have it tough out there,"
"you're not some random person. you decked your friend's ex because he cheated on her," first things first, you don't know the need to bring that up. you were in first year and had subpar hatred for people to cheat on their significant others— still do— but the current you wouldn't deck someone. and secondly, you don't know how that has anything to do with your relationship.
"hey, now, that was a different case,"
"you can deck your ex too," he states with a monotonous voice, being ever so serious and certain of his words as if they're wedding vows. "i don't see how that's any different,"
a trail of silence follows. you almost consider his words, almost, and brush off those thoughts from your mind the very next second. you take a look at his face, wondering if he's joking, but reading tsukishima has always been so hard, you don't know if his eyes resonate with a mere prank or if they spell something else out loud.
"minato treated me well, tsukishima," you retort, "i don't know what's going on in that head of yours but, don't make any assumptions,"
the slight necessity to clarify your relationship compelled those words to fall off your lips. although, you did broke up on bad terms, the period while you were with him wasn't half bad. you both had your share of happiness and sorrow, arguments and comfort, just like any other normal relationship would. maybe that's why now that you've broken up, it hurts more, and perhaps, the reason is not him but instead, everything that the two of you had.
"well, you've got other guys out there," once again, tsukishima's words pull out of your thoughts. his expression is ambiguous and his gaze mirror something that you've never seen in his eyes. you take your time to come up with a response, knowing that while his words means more than what they seem to.
and when you don't say anything for the next new seconds, tsukishima stands up, taking a step towards you. "i'm saying, you have me,"
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meraki-yao · 28 days
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Ok I got four asks in my inbox about the new Nick interview and I'm actually mad. I'm actually livid and exasperated because I've been getting and answering similar asks over and over again, and yet people still come to me with the same statement and the same conviction EVEN AFTER I POINTED OUT EVERY FUCKING FACT THAT CONTRADICTS IT.
Do you really need a 19-year-old to teach you reading comprehension and media literacy?
Ok, fine.
Statement One: Nick doesn't appreciate RWRB, he's brushing it aside, which is why it wasn't mentioned in the New York Times
One: Editorials don't always portray the actual thoughts or agenda of the interviewee.
Unlike a video interview or a podcast interview where we can hear the whole conversation directly from Nick with his voice, and even if there are cuts and edits we can pick it up via visual or audio continuity, in a written editorial the only thing we can rely on is the writer's words, or in other words, the writer's paraphrase or quotation of what Nick said to him. This gives much bigger room for any changes or manipulation in content because we have nothing else to reference.
It is clear that in the past three editorials, the writer or the magazine itself has deliberately demeaning and devaluing RWRB. In NY Magazine, it was only mentioned in one line and degraded to "a queer take on a common straight trope" (see the choice of word "president's daughter"), with the implication being at its core, it's a straight story/ reliant on past straight stories to be interesting; Hunger Magazine calls it fujoshi-pleasing (fujoshi: Japanese slang, denoting how a straight woman who enjoys fictional gay content is "rotten", too ruined to be married, an insult to both the audience/fans and the movie itself ); and this time New York Magazine didn't even mention RWRB, when let's be honest, it's Nick's biggest breakout role.
"Once Is Chance, Twice is Coincidence, Third Time's A Pattern" this is deliberate. I can't say what the agenda is, my guess is some extent of latent homophobia, but it's clear that this is a fucking pattern. In fact, besides the hidden agenda of devaluing RWRB, these editorials show another hidden agenda, but that's something for a later day. PM me id you want to now, I won't discuss that one on my public platform yet.
Again, there is so much more room for twisting and hiding words in a written editorial. In all the video interviews Nick did, especially in the UK, when has he ever avoided a question about RWRB? When has he ever not shown gratitude towards the project?
Two: In all video evidence that can't be manipulated, that clearly shows Nick's own thoughts which not influenced by any other party, he has made it clear that he adores RWRB.
Why else would he sign books during the M&G London premiere, going as far as to stay behind after the event just to sign books? Same with the LA M&G premiere and TIOY premiere: those were promotions for other projects, he had a valid reason to refuse to sign the RWRB books and posters, but he didn't, always signing with a big smile on his face, even playfully signing on Taylor's face. He said it himself in his Instagram post, and I quote: "The love that Henry has received has been one of the most heartwarming things to watch. It's been difficult to not talk about him. So thank you for seeing him for all he is. He was a joy to bring to life." There's your proof, directly from the man himself.
Statement Two: Nick's not interested in doing a sequel, he said he's done playing princes and he's done playing romantic leads
One: "Done playing princes" doesn't mean literally done playing princes, it means he wants to try more roles and not be stuck with only being known as the "prince" guy. (even though he's literally a prince lol)
Plus, he said that after Robert, but then Henry came along and he was attracted to Henry as a character with his scared but loving heart. He doesn't just view Henry as a prince, he views Henry as a complex, delicate person who so happens to be a prince. Him saying he's done playing princes means in the future, he doesn't really want another royal on his filmography, but this doesn't mean he doesn't want to continue Henry's story. With the given context, namely asking him about future projects he wants to take up, "he's done playing princes" and "he doesn't want to play Henry anymore" are not mutually inclusive.
Two: "Done playing romantic leads" means he wants to try new things and take up new projects that aren't romance films.
This doesn't include the continuation of already established characters i.e. sequels, this just means if he were to take up brand new projects, he wants to try something else. Sequels are inherently different from new projects because again, sequels are based on already established characters.
Three: He said several times ON VIDEO that he'd be in for a sequel
In this one, when asked if he'd be up for a sequel, he said, and I quote "Look, I think with any opportunity of doing a sequel, I think, you know, the script has to be right. But obviously, it was so lovely to see how many people it touched and having that resonance is incredibly important to me, so, yeah. Of course."
In this one, when asked if they have had conservation on a potential sequel, he said, and again I quote: "Yeah, I mean definitely had conversations. I think we're all on the same page in the sense that, you know, the script needs to be right, and sort of all the different components need to be right because we made something that has such a positive effect and I think the last thing you'd wanna do is ruin that or take that in a way, so, you know, the conversations are definitely being had."
And there are more videos from red carpet interviews that I can't be bothered to find right now but he says more or less the same thing.
(look I even transcribed it)
Not only is he on board with a sequel, he's also being careful about it to make sure once they do get to making it, it's something good. He's on board, and he values it. And again, that's directly from him.
We have a phrase in Chinese: 斷章取義, meaning "breaking off a small part of an article and deriving the meaning from that single part" That's what so many of you, in particular, the people who come to my inbox with the sentiments of the above-mentioned statement are doing. Please, use critical thinking and look at the whole picture. Stop making judgments from the surface of one source.
Tagging my friends @alittlefrenchtree and @myteavsricochet because it looks like they've been getting the same things I got
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misstrashchan · 9 months
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We talk about "show don't tell" in stories, but in podcasts it's impressive when they can do that through the audio format specifically, and one example of this that always sticks with me is in the Silt Verses S1 EP7, It Carries Few It Drowns Many. We're introduced to Paige Duplass describing her daily routine in a life that is seemingly perfect, that she's incredibly lucky and priveliged to have ended up where she is, considering she never thought she would make it this far, and how harsh and hostile the world of the Silt Verses we've seen can be up to this point, for Paige everything seems normal and accepted, with their safe and sanitized gods that are kept as much removed from people's sight as possible.
She has a successful job that pays well, a nice apartment with a beautiful view, etc. This is all undercut with her following up with "this is how you make things worse" referring to her dad messaging and calling her every day asking for money, seemingly the one black spot in this perfect life Paige has built for herself.
One part of her day we do not ever hear her describe however is her drinking heavily after coming home from work each day. But she does. She's opening a bottle every day after work, we hear the popping of the cork and her pouring a glass for herself. It's something conveyed to us only through the audio. This in tandem with her contemplating that despite this life she's built up for herself, the kind of life that one should be content and happy with, it still feels hollow and devoid of purpose, and she's left wondering if this is what happiness and fulfillment is supposed to be.
It gets worse over the course of the next few days when she learns people are going to be let go and sacrificed as the company she works for rebrands and switches from the Bronze Savant to a new god, Crawling in Ecstasy, which includes her friend Vaghn, and she becomes more and more distressed with each passing day, and trying to reason that none of this can really be happening, that it's too crude, that they'd surely do something more elegant, that the company that she works for that's giving her the means for this comfortable life and nice car and free pastries and wellbeing workshops wouldn't do something like this, and if they do it'd only be to the people who really deserved it, the worst of the worst, and they'd do it out of sight, and if it's out of sight they can ignore it, because it's not really happening. (Paige is also drinking before any of this occurs to when she comes home from work each day though)
It's clear that the drinking is part of Paige trying to numb and distance herself from the realities of what this life and the world she lives in is built upon, because it's accepted and considered "normal", and is also a filling of the void and guilt she feels of having all this comfort in spite of this.
And after watching her friend Vaghn be sacrificed and transfigured into a Saint for the Crawling In Ecstasy and immediately killed, she comes home to her apartment, and we hear her popping open another bottle. A pause. And then the smashing of a bottle, the breaking point to which Paige can no longer numb herself to the cruelties and indifferences of this world and her life, that she can't continue on as she is now, as the world is now, and it's so fucking satisfying.
Again, very small part of storytelling in the series for one character in one episode, but I love it nonetheless.
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utilitycaster · 13 days
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@rowzeoli replied to your post “Do you think part of the D20 journalistic bias...”:
I rarely go on tumblr so sorry if you see me spamming your posts tonight, but I really enjoy your perspective and thoughts! I think I'm the journalist you're referencing in regards to the Fantasy High Junior Year article and unfortunately 1) journalists only get access to interview subjects at very specific junctions (usually press day before the series goes out or halfway through) 2) most publications are honestly Going Through It and cutting freelance rates and just not paying to cover AP
​So I'll be totally honest - I post on Tumblr because I assume it is far more unlikely to be seen and so I can vent freely (hence the fairly harsh tone of the criticism in the original post), but I guess this is a chance to clarify. I don't expect anything to change, nor do I expect you to respond; indeed, I wouldn't blame you if you block me after this. But if readership is down (and who knows? maybe it's not and I'm the outlier), this may be illuminating.
The issue with your specific article - which I brought up relatively tangential to the larger point of "at this point I think Polygon's AP/TTRPG coverage is a waste of time to read" isn't really that it's only an early look at the series; and because Fantasy High Junior Year is at this time ongoing, it's honestly entirely valid that there hasn't been a follow-up. It's, well, the "surface-level and factually wrong" issue.
Dimension 20 was by no means the pioneer of remote recording as you claim in your article; that had long been the default of smaller recorded AP shows well before pandemic lockdown for the simple reason that if you're not a media company the overhead is very low - no need to have a dedicated space or even cameras beyond decent laptops. Burrow's End's puppetry? Critical Role's Call of Cthulhu: Shadow of the Crystal Palace did shadow puppets in 2019. They had diagetic audio on the main campaign as early as 2016. I don't even like Kollok, but that's had complex set design since 2019. Meanwhile premise of the article is yet another rehash of Polygon's "Dimension 20 is CHANGING THE GAME" constant drumbeat, while your actual pull quotes from Brennan Lee Mulligan are him musing that this is simply an entry in an ancient tradition of storytelling and isn't, in fact, terribly novel. The interview fails utterly to back up your point and indeed contradicts it; I get that the timeline was probably tight but this is outright incorrect in multiple places and your argument isn't just unsupported; it's outright dismissed by the very person you claim is proving it. If the premise came before the interview, it needed to be reworked afterwards, and if it came after the interview…I'm not sure what to say, really.
This isn't your article, and I'm putting it here to illustrate that this has been a pattern for Polygon's AP coverage specifically. This article about Worlds Beyond Number is perhaps my favorite example of "this is not serious journalism:" Rusty Quill Gaming, The Adventure Zone, Friends at the Table, and NADDPod are all theater of the mind long-running podcasts (RQG's campaign lasted a whopping 7 years of real time) and that's just off the top of my head; the idea of a long-running edited audio podcast being novel is laughable. RQG and TAZ both started at level 1; I'm not personally familiar with Friends at the Table. I don't actually think starting at level 1 vs. 2 is terribly important in storytelling in the first place other than that a few D&D classes pick their subclass at L2 and that choice can be narratively relevant, which it was in TAZ; however, some classes pick a subclass at L3 so you can still achieve this with a level 2 start (as Critical Role's second campaign does). Both Emily Axford of NADDPod and Griffin McElroy of TAZ have long been composing their own music and RQG is heavily sound designed. These are not obscure pulls, either; these are some of the more well-known names in the space.
At this point, Polygon AP/TTRPG articles - by multiple different writers - simply feel like madlibs: "(actual play show) is groundbreaking in its (thing that other shows have been doing for 5+ years); I especially liked (visual effect) and (incorrect understanding of TTRPG mechanics)."
The people I allude to in the post you responded to as having egregiously uncharitable and sanctimonious takes on Daggerheart (within, again, hours of its publication) are a frequent Polygon contributor and a Rascal editor and they further my mistrust of those publications: There is this constant insistence that everything they like be "groundbreaking" and "innovating" and they will claim this even when it's demonstrably not the case, as the above examples note. As Mulligan says in your article "it’s important to keep new artists with new experiences and backgrounds flowing in," and yet by focusing intensely on high production values (difficult for smaller indie upstarts to have) and by incorrectly claiming that a well-established media company within the space like D20 invented a number of things it flat out did not, this journalism is actively, if unintentionally, working against that goal. As I put it elsewhere, Polygon's bizarre pedestaling of Dimension 20 and simultaneous putdowns of Critical Role (which turn into wild contortions when D20 mainstays like Mulligan or Aabria Iyengar collaborate with CR; for that matter others besides me have observed that Polygon acts like Spenser Starke is two different people, the genius who created Alice is Missing and the knuckle-dragging moron who put out Candela Obscura and Daggerheart) coupled with the obsession with production values over story has the whiff of claiming they're the champion of the little guy for sticking it to the 700 lb gorilla in the space and then focusing on 500 lb gorillas while making it impossible for smaller monkeys to compete because most brand new shows without the name recognition of someone like Mulligan involved can't exactly hire Rick Perry to do their models or Taylor Moore to do sound design.
I suppose a good way to put this, since I've run into this in many spaces, not just AP/TTRPG or even journalism, is that bias on its own in a subjective medium isn't inherently bad; but if something is so nakedly biased against something I love, I will, naturally, turn to it with a far more critical eye, and if its arguments are not ironclad I'm going to start noticing every structural issue in every argument and every tiny mistake. Sure, as a fan of Critical Role, and as someone who feels that Kollok was nigh-unwatchable and that Burrow's End was promising in parts but deeply flawed, I disagreed with Polygon's nonstop mud-slinging towards the former and glowing, verging on fawning reviews of the latter two. But that's not entirely damning on its own; I do get that not everyone will like Critical Role and that some people will love Kollok or Burrow's End for valid reasons. What's damning is the journalism itself is riddled with factual errors and the analysis is so weak that to call the arguments a flimsy house of cards would be generous. The opposite is also true; if Polygon's lead editor were out here repeatedly misspelling the name of one of the main characters in Worlds Beyond Number (note: this has since been corrected) but the articles had compelling arguments, even ones I disagreed with, I'd be far more forgiving, but as is? It's offering me absolutely nothing: it's poorly researched, it's poorly structured, it's poorly written, it's poorly copy-edited, and it shits on things I like seemingly just for clicks. I'm done giving clicks.
I am deeply sympathetic to the pressures facing digital journalism and media and the arts in general; as someone who is fortunate enough not to personally face those pressures and has the income to be a patron, I would love to help in my small way (and I do, at least, financially support a number of the AP shows I love). But the quality of some of this journalism is truly so bad that I can't bring myself to support the institutions putting it out; it's "dead dove do not eat" until such time as someone whose analysis and opinions I do trust cites them (or, perhaps, until there is a sea change of lead editorship). I know that this won't help the crunch, and may make it worse, but I just can't because the quality is so poor. I don't have a good solution to how to write about something that takes a lot of time to watch and process and about which the articles pay very little in return, but the current strategy of bouncing between uninformed provocateur and utter sycophant depending on the show and creators; of drooling over such surface features as shiny production and falsely claiming everything is "groundbreaking" while getting the most basic facts wrong has driven me away.
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the---hermit · 7 months
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19|09|2023
I am fully back into my studying routine, and it's going smoothly so far. I was a bit intimidated at first because I was afraid I would stuggle after these months of rest, but honestly everything is coming very naturally. I am still paying very close attention to give myself time to get used to it again, so I take all the breaks I need even if I just need to get up and walk around the room for a couple of minutes, but I feel good about being back into the routine. It doesn't feel like a trap, it's just my comfortable productive habits. Today I continued working on the recorded lectures of last semester, I check the exam dates and for some reason the exam for this class will be later than expected. It will be in January, but honestly it's fine so I'll have time to do everything and study for a couple other classes in the meantime. I never realized how much I took for granted ppt presentations during lectures, because this class has only audio recordings and I am wasting so much time stopping and replaying things because I am not sure about dates or names. Despite this, which will surely make my progress a bit slower, I am liking the class. It's definitely more challenging than I was expecting but it's very interesting. Also an highlight of the day was my dad bringing me a cup of tea because he didn't see me in the kitchen at the usual time since I was working. I am a creature of habit and my day is indeed divided by my tea times.
cozy hobbit autumn activities and productivity:
6 am morning routine my beloved (I love I went back to this as days are getting shorter because waking up while the sun isn't up yet is one of my favourite things in the world. I don't know why it gives me internal peace)
read first thing in the morning while sipping my waking up tea (aka a blend of green tea and mint)
checked infos I needed on some classes
read and answered emails
worked on two lectures of my theories of men and power practices in the modern era class
polished my notes adding highlights and key words
had an amazing second breakfast (it's a hobbit list of course I am including this)
wrote a couple of book reviews I will post soon
really got to relax my brain during my lunch break so when I got back to work in the afternoon I was super energized
daily Irish review on duolingo
wrote my to do list for tomorrow
continued working on my crochet mushroom cardigan while catching up with podcasts (this time it was book unbound and re:dracula)
📖: Of Ghosts And Goblins by Lafcadio Hearn
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rentalboos · 10 days
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Watcher has lost almost 100 thousand subscribers
Hi babygirl, thank you for your 6 new messages, I love that you think my opinion is this important, though I genuinely don't quite get it. I'm not even a Watcher fanaccount, like, I have maybe two followers who even know the channel. What beef do you have with me lmao Since you're so interested in it though, I'm going to give it to you! FOR FREE! Since that's so important to you!
Here's the tldr: You're on anon sending hate, so you already know you're in the wrong and everyone else knows it too!
Great. Now that that's covered, here we GO! My precious opinion that you value so much! For free:
I'm sorry it offends you that I have the 5,99 to pay them and am doing it, but like. Do you do this with everyone? Do you go into people's DMs (no of course not, you only hate anonymously, wonder why that is!) to yell at them about subscribing to Twitch streams? Spotify? Youtube membership? Patreons?
What about this offends you so? That a bunch of youtubers had to make a tough choice between "we have to stop creating the art we want" and "we could try and keep creating the art we want, but we'll need to get paid for it" and chose to try and get paid for it? Is the offense, to you personally, that other people will still get to enjoy the content they like, opposed to absolutely no one getting to? It certainly can't be that you, personally, can't access their content anymore, because, quite frankly, I doubt you actually like it very much.
As for your five billion questions for why this makes you racist: You singling out Steven makes you racist. They founded this company together and they doubtlessly made this decision together and the narrative that is currently spun of "Shane (the white dude) would never, his evil non-white co-workers are forcing him to!" is .... extremely parasocial, and wildly random and coming out of nowhere.
Except for all the parts it's not, because of COURSE. Of course the evil guy and the guy who creates content "no one wants to fund" and who now everyone calls "boring" and who now has viral hate tweets saying he's "dragged Ryan and Shane down", is the asian guy who's pushed for diversity on the channel from the very start.
Like, he's well aware that his shows are the least popular. There's a reason for that, sweetie, and I promise you, it has to do with the fact that they've focused on diversity and quality rather than shittalking in front of a camera. And I'm not even a Steven girlie, I'm a Ghost Files ride or die, baby!
But this narrative that he's "homophobic and racist" because he said in a podcast once that he chooses to stay friends with people who sometimes sprout ignorant views, that's like- Get a fucking grip. I know y'all haven't reached adult life yet, it is painfully apparent, but there comes a time in life where you'll have to realize that sometimes the people around you aren't as socially aware or educated as you, but in their nature good eggs, and you can, of course, choose to drop their asses, if you don't happen to be otherwise connected to them in an adult environment, where jobs and friend groups often overlap or they're part of your family or family's circle, but the far, far better choice is to be their friend and educate them. Because that's the best way the ignorant views become less ignorant. That's literally what he's been saying in that podcast ep, by the way. I don't need to "google" that and I don't need your twitter links, I was there when that episode dropped. I listened to it as I did the dishes. I was applauding Steven for putting in the time and effort and energy to DO that with people, because I oftentimes find myself too scared to have the conversations he is having.
Watcher has donated to queer charities. They sell queer merch. They have queer employees. Their fanbase is mainly queer. He's not homophobic, y'all are insane. If any of that would go against his values, he'd a) not be in a company with Ryan and Shane, because they wouldn't be having it and b) wouldn't stand up for, employ and cater to queer people. He'd be out with the homophobes, telling us how Jesus died for our sins or whatever.
He's also not racist which- duh. Before I even knew Steven Lim, I already knew this is something he is incredibly(!) sensitive about, he literally hates racism (And I don't know if you noticed. But he's very often the target of it, you absolute bufoon) and specifically went into Watcher to be able to help marginalized voices have a platform. That was his goal for Watcher that he couldn't properly fulfil in Buzzfeed. I know that. Because I was there from the start and actually listened to them talk. And it was stated and proven many, many times.
Y'all so eager to jump on a hate train and take shit out of context, it's pathetic. And "homophobic" good God, he had a book on his bookshelf. Wow. I have Harry Potter in three different editions on my bookshelf, I've learned reading with them. They have tear stains on the pages where Dumbledore died. You're gonna say I'm a transphobe if you see them in a photo? Gonna go ahead and call me, a trans guy, a transphobe now? Knock yourself out. Because I'll care about that about as much as I care about how many angry little kids are unsubscribing from Watcher rn: Not even a little bit.
You're whining like little bitches in random fan's inboxes, are throwing insults, false accusations and racism around to stirr the pot, you're coming for Steven as if Ryan and Shane aren't literally HORRIFIED by y'all doing this in their name to someone who's their close friend. As if Watcher would even exist without him, when he saved it from going bankrupt in their first year, when Ryan and Shane couldn't be arsed to step up and figure out how to run a company.
You weren't paying them anyway. I'm subscribed to their Patreon at the highest tier, because I know good art doesn't come free and I knew they were gonna struggle on Youtube views alone and I enjoy their content and want to help them keep making it. I don't expect anyone to be able to do that - And they don't either. They also don't expect everyone to pay or be able to pay for their streaming services. They're currently working on responding to the feedback and make things more accessible. They certainly didn't handle this perfectly and they certainly didn't want to make this choice if they had another one. Neither of the three.
You won't pay for it. That's fine. That's literally all there is to it. There's no need to sling this shit around, but you're doing it anyway. Not because you care, but because you're having fun with it. Well, go ahead. The more hate you send, the more I know I'm standing up for the right people.
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i think i've mentioned The Magnus Archives before, but i wanted to talk about it again, in connection with Catra's redemption. The Magnus Archives is a fictional horror podcast with an overarching storyline and amazingly written characters.
[spoilers for TMA below]
one of the themes that was briefly explored in the final season was about forgiveness. it was a very brief moment but it really stuck with me so i'll share it with y'all.
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this right here was so important. for context, one of the characters, Daisy Tonner, was a cop who frequently engaged in police brutality. there was nuance to this since she was an Avatar of the Hunt but simply put, she thought she was doing the right thing. regardless of her intentions, a lot of people were killed or grievously harmed by her. for similar reasons, she tries to kill Jon, the protagonist.
later after disconnecting from her entity, Daisy realizes her mistakes and feels painfully guilty about everything. she couldn't bring back the dead, she couldn't reverse anything that she had done. all she could do at that point was to just stop engaging in violence and try to be a better person.
she bonds with Jon after some time of mutual awkwardness. Jon, being lonely himself, wasn't entirely opposed to talking to her and they even form a friendship of sorts. for context, Jon has hurt people too and he could relate with Daisy's guilt and her attempts at redemption.
in the transcript i shared above, Jon is discussing her crimes with the other characters. the thing that was so refreshing about Daisy's redemption is that Jon wasn't forced to forgive her. she put him through an extremely traumatizing and agonizing situation that he couldn't forget. his trauma was taken seriously and while he had begun to consider Daisy as his friend, that doesn't mean he forgave her. and she knew that. she understood that she didn't deserve forgiveness, but she still worked on trying to be a better person.
and later on in the series, Jon even expresses his appreciation for her friendship and admits to wanting to say goodbye to her.
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i feel like this is the best way to write a redemption arc. of course it's nice seeing the bad guy being forgiven and accepted by the other characters. but sometimes you have to acknowledge that some people go too far and while they deserve a redemption, they don't deserve forgiveness. the other characters can still appreciate and respect their attempts at redemption, and even become their friend but without being forced to forgive them.
contrast this to SPOP where literally all of the characters have to forgive Catra after everything she's done to them. it doesn't matter how much damage she caused, as soon as she expresses the tiniest bit of guilt, she is instantly forgiven. there's no question of how the other characters feel, their trauma is not valid.
also, i have a feeling that if any of the characters refused to forgive Catra, she would have immediately thrown a hissy fit and spiralled right back to square one. i mean, look at her reaction to Frosta punching her.
by the way, i want to add that Daisy was also a traumatized character. she was also a sympathetic antagonist and she was partially controlled by the Hunt (whether the entities controlled their avatars or not was an unanswered question but it was confirmed that the Avatars were at least 80% in control of themselves). but she still did what she did and no amount of tragic backstory could justify her actions. if only the writers of SPOP actually stopped to think this through, instead of just hyperfocusing on getting Catra and Adora together.
anyway, if you like cosmic/existential horror, lots of angst, deep psychological stuff, complex morally grey characters, and queer representation, i highly recommend TMA! it's the whole package.
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