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#but I think I cracked the case!
tame-a-messenger · 2 months
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Oh no, man. I decided to watch the Damien episode of Perfect Person coz I only found out about it from the Angela appearance.
There's a part (around 2:45) where he says he booked the Starfield VA gig right when he first started at Smosh so with it coming out recently, it kinda bookended "this part of his internet life".
And I was like, WHAT DOES HE MEAN? IS HE LEAVING SMOSH??
<darthvader.gif> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
I find it interesting that he also says right before at (2:46) that he's trying to "Focus up, here soon" and since this Podcast was only 4months ago... Wonder what that means!
Ok ok joking aside I don't really think that's exactly what he meant by the things he said. I think he was mainly talking about doing more voice over work and "focus" on it more, not that he's going to fully leave Smosh.
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He also says that he spent 5-6 yrs recording for that game, so that's why I think him saying "bookended this whole part of my internet life" is ONLY referring to him voicing over that game.
I'm also pretty sure "this whole" is (although it does sound like it could mean what you thought) almost definitely his southerner coming out, and what he meant was "the game coming out has bookended 5-6yrs worth of work for the voice over I did" not that he's quitting anything (I'm becoming the truth speaker of Damien Haas)
Holy shit bro, I'm getting good at this 'decoding whatever people assume Damien meant' stuff! I felt my skin glowing while I was trying to decipher what he meant lmao
I am become Truth, the Breaker of Assumptions
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seraphtrevs · 2 years
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@jarmes - I think it's finally time for me to figure out once and for all Hector's timeline, particularly concerning his prison sentence, because that has a huge impact on Hector's involvement in their lives.
(Math and sad Salamanca children under the cut)
I had worked out their ages previously here, but I think I've changed my mind on Tuco and the twins. The BrBa wiki is kind of all over the place with their ages (like the timeline sometimes lists different birth years than the character pages) and people edit the characters' pages every so often to change their birth dates - like Lalo was at 1957 for awhile, but now his page says 1960. (I am possibly the only person who cares enough other than the wiki editors to notice this akdsfj;sdljf) It's all just guess work based on scant canon clues and the actor's ages, so assume +/- a few years.
So. The wiki has Hector's birth year as somewhere between 1936 and 1939. Let's go with 1939 because that's the birth year on his character page.
Max was killed in 1989, which makes Hector 50 years old at the time. That seems to track. We know the twins were about 8 - 10 years old in 1988 because of the flashback in BrBa 3x07. (Here they are btw right after Hector nearly drowned Marco in case you feel like having your heart broken)
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So that puts the twins' birth year at around 1980, which is what's on the wiki.
The wiki has Lalo's birth year as 1960 - I prefer 1957 because I want Lalo to be pushing 50 in BCS for reasons (old man enjoyer), but we'll use 1960. That makes him 28 at the time of Marco's near-drowning.
Tuco's age is all over the place, but the wiki has him born in 1972. That's a bigger gap between Lalo and Tuco than I like (I originally put him at 1961)...but I think 1972 probably makes more sense for reasons I will get into. So he's 17 in 1988.
All right, ages established. Now comes the hard part - when the fuck did Hector get sent to San Quentin? We know he was there for 17 years. He was a founding member of the cartel and probably active within it for a few years. So let's say he was about 30 when he was sentenced. 1939+30 = 1969 for the year he went to jail. 1969 + 17 = 1986 for the year he got out. That seems about right because in the 3x07 flashback, he seems to be up to speed in cartel business, so he's probably been out for a few years.
SO. What does this mean for his relationship with his nephews? It means Lalo was 9 when Hector went to jail. The twins and Tuco were not even born yet. When Hector got out of jail, the twins were 6 and Tuco was 14. Lalo was 26 - a grown man. I think that the murder of the professor that Lalo so fondly remembers probably occurred shortly after Hector was released from prison and itching to exercise some power again.
So Lalo was old enough to have fond childhood memories of his tio before he went to prison...but probably not quite old enough to start cartel conditioning. When we see the twins in the flashback, they are normal children, not dead-eyed killing machines.
Assuming Hector didn't start ramping up the abuse until he felt they were "old enough" to learn, Lalo was spared Hector's abuse because Hector was in jail during his formative years. Meanwhile, Tuco and the twins were impressionable minors who were nonetheless "old enough" in Hector's eyes to start "learning."
Lalo is nuts, but I think he was born with a screw loose rather than it being beaten into him. I agree with Tony Dalton's headcanon that his mother was a gringa and he was sent to school in the States, so the cartel wasn't his entire life as a child/young adult. He's much more well-rounded and functional than his cousins. Tuco and the twins, on the other hand, seem the kind of violent and unstable that sometimes comes with severe childhood abuse and are completely creatures of the cartel. And I think that was in large part due to Hector, who was perhaps the main father figure for them depending on when their fathers died. Hector didn't mold Lalo, but he did mold Tuco and the twins. Poor kids. :(
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mugwot · 4 months
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someone
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royalarchivist · 27 days
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Bobby: Bye Jaiden great to have you here as always :)
Jaiden: AWW!!! 🥺💕
Roier: Oh, but when it's ME? But when it's ROIER—?!
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Happy Mother's Day to q!Jaiden. I miss her, and our favorite little Mama's boy. 🥲
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mxi-88 · 3 months
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horace knightley is the funniest ace attorney character
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hrokkall · 1 year
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Fishermen
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hammerhead-jpg · 16 days
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Erik
Why must you do this to me
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lokh · 9 months
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its sooo fun how dungeons reveal the psyche of the dungeon lord like. thistles dungeon was so planned and meticulous but so full of ghosts and unravelling at the end. mithruns dungeon was apparently so convoluted and 'made out of jealousy, lies, anger and inferiority'. marcilles dungeon was like.... that lmao, everything being brought to the same level with no real regard for what that might do to the ecosystem, and laios' dungeon ultimately ends up spilling out onto the surface. becoming one with it you might say
anyways if you were a dungeon lord what would your dungeon look like
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columboscreens · 6 months
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simmyfrobby · 11 months
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― from War is Kind ["Do not weep, maiden, for war is kind”], Stephen Crane
Hockey Poetry Post 53/?
(Photo credit: Tony Gutierrez, link, link, Smiley N. Pool, link, Steph Chambers, Jennifer Buchanan, Ashley Potts, Steph Chambers, Steph Chambers, Ashley Potts, Dean Rutz, Stephen Brashear, Matthew J. Lee, link, Bob DeChiara, Maddie Meyer, link, Sam Navarr, Wilfredo Lee, Sam Navarro, John Locher, Patrick Smith, Ellen Schmidt, link, John Locher, link)
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fanaticalthings · 2 years
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Imagine the batkids using incredibly absurd objects as units of measurement to confuse the people around them:
Jason: Oh wow! The closet space in this room is huge!
Jason: You could fit like– three average-sized male bodies in here.
Bruce:
Jason, tearing up: It's perfect.
____
Damian: I think this watchtower room is inadequate. If you multiplied Batcow's surface area by 16, she would not fit in here.
JL: ???
Damian: It is unacceptable.
____
Dick, at a crime scene that took place inside a mansion: The infrastructure of this place is impressive! Especially the main hall. I'd live here!
Cop: Uh-why?
Dick: It has enough space to fit Batman's dinosaur at least 4 times!
Cop: His-his what? Batman's what??
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chimerahyperfix · 29 days
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Being frozen in time definitely does something to you. Physically it cages you. Mentally it throws you into the longest dream you could ever have. It's not comfortable-- far from it in fact-- but you've grown to look forwards to it, when you loose. It's better than being mashed to dark paste at least.
You're frozen right now, in fact. Waiting in silence for time to loop back. Stuck with your thoughts and a vauge feeling of a dream. The house is around you and you're moving through it. Empty rooms and endless hallways, curling and twisting in ways that make them feel alive despite the lack of any living thing that isn't you. No sad monsters, no frozen bodies, no dark stains. There doesn't seem to be an exit.
The dreams you have when frozen seem to correlate to how you're doing emotionally. Most of them have been lost to time, like most things in your life now. Dreams, wounds, emotional bonds; everything is turning back with you, and that’s started to do something to you, because now you can predict the actions of those around you with quite a bit of accuracy. You can recall little bits of things, but the further back you go is just static. There was a bunch of dumb things that you can’t piece back together anymore, there were times with those you love, there was endless rage flowing through your very being, and there was this. The desperation. The empty halls of the very House you’ve worked so hard to protect.
You want out.
You've kept count of how many times you've been frozen. How many times you've died. How many loops. 61 is the counter and it's far, far too many times to relive the same day over again. You grew tired of the monotony by the tenth go around. Twenty five felt like a stab wound. Forty, like you were being split in two. Big 6-0 felt like drowning. You don't feel real anymore.
But that's fine! You can still see the good in this, if you stretch your imagination like taffy, as far as it'll go. It's better to be just you, just one person, than everyone else! You can live with the weight of the country on your shoulders for a bit longer, if only to keep it off of Euphrasie's. You’re doing this for her! For everyone. You can do it for a bit longer. You just need to find the King’s weakness, or something. Make a more powerful potion, or scrap together the materials to make a second craft bomb, or, or something! You’ll find it soon enough. You’re smart! You can do this!
You have to.
You turn down the hallway. Find yourself on an entirely different floor. Just as much of a ghost town. Just ice and cold and tiredness, your breath forming clouds in the air. That’s fine. This is just a dream or something, anyway. You’ll wake back up at your desk any time, with the looming vials of all sorts of toxic stuff you keep drinking that you crabbing neglected to put away because you didn’t think time would crabbing loop, because realistically, WHY would you assume that would happen? Preposterous! Ignore the burning feeling in your throat and the smell of sugar and push on. Wait for it to start all over again.
Because it has to be you, doesn’t it? You wished for this, or something. You don’t remember. It was a long time ago. It has to be you, because only you have the power. It HAS to be you, because who else would it be? Euphie? She’s already got enough on her hands. Mirabelle? You’d rather die. It’s better you do this than the ones you love.
It has to be you.
it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be you it has to be
It's sucks, having to be the one to do it. Your limit was a long time ago.
You can't do this forever.
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devilsrecreation · 4 months
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I just thought of this:
So I’m thinking in my crackfic, after Jasiri and Kenge come back from Oz (as in wake up from a dream) and she’s telling everyone about it, Janja jokingly says “Next time, I’m goin’ to a fantasy world”, hinting at a joke sequel crackfic which I’ll never make.
And now I give you…..Janja in Wonderland
Janja follows what he swears is Ushari’s ghost down a hole or an Aardvark den into a strange new world where everyone seems to be crazy
The cast:
Janja as Alice
Ushari as the White Rabbit (ghost snake)
Sumu plays the role of the Doorknob but instead is the gatekeeper
Cheezi and Chungu as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum
Mzingo and his Parliament as the Flowers
Shupavu and Njano as the Cheshire Cat (skinks)
Kenge as the Caterpillar
Reirei as the Mad Hatter
Kiburi as the March Hare
Goigoi is that little door mouse inside the teacup cuz he’s so sleepy
Zira as the Queen of Hearts
Scar as the King of Hearts
The rest of the Outlanders as cards
Azaad gets the role of the Dodo, with the Night Pride participating in the Caucus Race
Extra notes:
-Janja’s the self aware one this time. He recognizes all of his friends but decides to play along for the hell of it
-Wema and Tunu play the role of Dinah (Alice’s cat), who follow Janja until he falls into the hole. Then they do that little kid “BYYYYEEEEEE!!!”
-Janja never cries, instead he gets pissy and fed up with everything. “Hey, that ain’t fair!” and “Oh, that is some bullshit” is a running gag
-Kiburi gets an accessory this time. He wears a gold chain and a cute little bowtie
-Instead of smoking, Janja finds Kenge using a tree as a punching bag. He’s also carved vowels in various trees with his claws. He gets mad when Janja grows bigger than him
-The scene where Alice gets stuck in the White Rabbit’s house doesn’t happen here. Mainly cuz I wouldn’t know what to do with it
-The “eat me” and “drink me” things still exist, but it’s a bone instead of a biscuit and a drink bowl instead of a bottle
-The minute Janja sees Scar and Zira, he immediately believes he’s gonna die 😭. It goes as well as you would expect
-Mzingo and his parliament are basically a club where they talk about random stuff while holding various types of flowers
-The fic ends with Janja waking up from his dream and everybody thinking he’s crazy Jfhhfgdg
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daily-hanamura · 7 months
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royalarchivist · 1 year
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Anonymous Viewer: I once ate cardboard to impress a boy
Niki: A BOY??? A BOY??? Come on, get some standards!
Aimsey: You won’t ever see me doin’ that, you won’t ever see me doin’ that. For more reasons than one, but still.
Niki: That’s why we love Aimsey, ‘cuz Aimsey has standards.
Aimsey: I have standards, women <3
Bonus:
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unhinged theory time: what if omega isn't a clone of jango but a clone of cross????
my evidence:
blonde
sharpshooter/sniper
she kinda looks more like cross than the rest of them
vibes
but Sprite, you say, Rex is also blond!
yes, I tell you, but a completely different shade, this is Rex's hair
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and this is Omega's
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and, for shits and giggles, cross's
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she has a much lighter, arguably cooler toned, blonde than Rex does leading me to believe that Omega is Cross's clone
but Sprite! the timeline! you scream
my child, I say calmly, canon can get fucked
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