#but I like nice commentary on these posts makes me feel less alone so feel free
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the anomalous agate, commentary
hello! I said I could talk about the anomalous agate forever, so here is me, talking about it. this is a post covering just like, overall notes I had when writing… maybe I’ll post about specific scenes or chapters sometimes, but I was really compelled to at least talk about overall things because unlike individual chapters, I think it’s something that’s less likely to be picked apart? so, all of that’s under the cut.
okay, first up! the biggest challenge in writing this fic was essentially, how do I make this fic feel like it’s a case from The Case Files of Jeweler Richard?
Based on the first two volumes alone, there’s a couple of things I think the series really exemplifies. First, it can examine things that are fairly mundane, and place value and importance on even small details. Second, Richard has a wide variety of knowledge, and I always read The Case Files of Jeweler Richard and come away with a new sense of the world. There’s something I, or Seigi, hadn’t really considered before, that I’m now considering. Finally, Seigi’s got all of his quirks—I didn’t try to match his exact style of narration, but I aimed to blend my own style and his in terms of vibe, and did my best to, at the very least, express his feelings accurately. So whether the wording of how he says things are exactly how he’d express it, the base emotions are correct.
To address the second point, this means that I have to talk about a wide variety of things! A lot of what the anomalous agate references is stuff I already knew of—champagne’s brand protection, Johannes Vermeer and ultramarine, The Little Prince, the commonality of dyed agate… but there’s some stuff I knew absolutely nothing about, the biggest of them being makeup and coffee. For coffee, I ended up watching quite a few bits of stuff from James Hoffman’s YouTube channel, and for makeup I watched a couple of video tutorials and read quite a few blog posts. Then I referenced Wikipedia to doublecheck any information I thought I knew. For the gems, I trawled quite a few websites, the main ones being the websites of GIA, International Gem Society, and American Gem Society. And I tried to avoid as many crystal healing websites as I could. Any inaccuracies present are my own fault.
As for why I picked coffee, a drink I don’t particularly like (though I’m a huge fan of coffee ice cream), and a subject that isn’t of necessary relevance to the rest of the story, unlike makeup, it was because I’d had a really good tiramisu crepe cake a few months ago, and thought it was such a neat form of tiramisu. It ended up being a nice choice, considering that Hanzawa and Seigi met up at a café twice!
And speaking of references! As a fun challenge, I made sure to add a reference to every single case mentioned in the first two volumes. It helped ground the fact that this was, indeed, part of The Case Files of Jeweler Richard for me, and I felt like it ended up strengthening some bits, too, but I mostly did it just because I wanted to see if I could. Some cases are mentioned multiple times, but I’ll list what I think is the first instance for every case below:
case 1-1: Coffee at a café was meant to be pleasant; I had no desire to remind myself of what it felt like to work night shift after night shift as a security guard. [ch 1]
case 1-2: “When you put it that way… there’s definitely times I don’t want to say everything about myself,” I conceded, remembering how I’d felt when confronted by Mami-san’s deep, uncomfortable sense of shame. [ch 2]
case 1-3: Come to think of it, he’d called himself thoughtless for selling that amethyst to Takatsuki-san, who’d been moved by the powers it was said to possess. [ch 3]
case 1-4: “Department stores existed before you began working here, but only once you took an interest in diamonds did you notice the kinds of jewels they sold.” [ch 1]
bonus (to wish upon a rose quartz): Remembering it now, it was hard to explain why I hadn’t had one in such a long time, but I hadn’t developed the habit of searching out cafés, bakeries, and sweet shops until I started working at Jewelry Étranger, either. [ch 1]
bonus (cleopatra’s pearls): Since he’d just mentioned her, my mind flashed to Cleopatra—she was certainly an image that was out of sorts with Hanzawa. [ch 3]
bonus (daily life at étranger ~ professor kunz and morgan): I hadn’t heard of moganite until now—unless I was mishearing morganite, but Richard had such wonderful pronunciation I thought that was impossible. [ch 1]
case 2-1: “Well, Hajime-kun was much younger, but his circumstances were different…” [ch 1]
case 2-2: Just like Yamamoto-san trying to buy herself a garnet. [ch 1]
case 2-3: It was obvious in the way I’d found out about Tanimoto-san’s love for rocks and minerals, as well as her friend Shinkai-san’s dance company, or, in a more negative light, Hase-san visiting at the exact time I happened to be in the back of the shop, but when I told Richard this, he simply brushed it off. [ch 1]
(technically the above is the first instance for case 2-4, too, but I’ll point out another instance)
case 2-4: Though I doubted this surprise encounter would go as badly as the last one had, the sharp sense of déjà vu kept me wary. [ch 2]
bonus (the serendipity of euclase): I’d only recently put my foot in my mouth by comparing us to a married couple, so I refrained from trying to make comparisons. [ch 5 / epilogue]
second! I wanted to talk a bit about some of the themes in the anomalous agate… this will probably be a bit more unstructured, but it contains some stuff I wanted to express, so I’ll to my best.
The title of this fic is the anomalous agate, and it is the stone that Hanzawa Masato ends up purchasing, but it’s not entirely what this fic is about, right? Lapis lazuli occupies a pretty big part of the chapter, and it’s an important part, too. So… why? Why have two stones, why have a title that doesn’t reflect the stone that Richard talks about, etc.?
The answer for this comes in the form of how I approached this story and how I feel about Hanzawa Masato—fundamentally, he’s a kind of tricky guy. He’s an inherently mysterious type of person, with a lot of layers and facets to him. And while I’m in love with these universes crossing over, I felt like it would be disrespectful to throw Hanzawa into the universe of The Case Files of Jeweler Richard and have him be laid completely bare. So, from the beginning, I wanted to work under the limitations that whatever change Hanzawa went through, and whatever we learned, it wouldn’t be something dramatic. And because Hanzawa’s so many things, I had another idea: as much as I could, when I introduced an idea into a fic, I’d try to make it two, instead of one. It’s an easy way to create a Hanzawa that feels properly multilayered, because making everything two things means he can’t be simple, and Hanzawa Masato is never simple. It's also an easy way to have Seigi misunderstand him in a way that shows that Hanzawa’s kind of a tough nut to crack.
...So, maybe you’re beginning to see why there’s two gems. The first chapter actually begins with a talk about authenticity, and it’s only in chapter two that Hanzawa brings up the concept of being anomalous. Both authenticity and being anomalous are topics that influence the kinds of things Hanzawa thinks about, and so do lapis lazuli and blue lace agate. Seigi realizes Hanzawa’s “something like a birthday gift” is a gift for himself, but he never once learns that Hanzawa’s birthday is in April, so it’s not for a special event at all that he’s buying this. Though I hadn’t intended it, considering that the guidebook says Hanzawa’s only got a younger sister, Seigi realizes that his older sister may not have been who taught him how to use makeup, but he doesn’t realize that Hanzawa might not even have an older sister. (This one was truly unintentional… I guess Hanzawa gets one over me, here!) Cafés are soothing, but coffee can stimulate one into sleeplessness. Seigi parallels Tashiro, and Hanzawa parallels Richard, but at the end, Seigi feels that it’s he and Hanzawa who are the similar ones. Seigi discusses the merits of concealment versus enhancement, and Hanzawa says that they’re the same thing, for him. Two things and one thing, again. Fox or prince, both are tamed. Two and one.
Essentially, I forced myself to make sure that any idea I introduced had a certain level or complexity and/or depth. I couldn’t just make a statement and then move on from it without exploring or developing it. Uniqueness, for example, is a term that gets used in quite a few ways in this story. I don’t think any of this really comes across as being intentionally a sort of “doubling,” but I think having this in mind while I wrote really forced me to be thoughtful about what I was writing.
third! I thought I’d talk in a few more specifics about when exactly this fic is set.
This happens mainly in the October of Seigi’s second year of college, which, now that I’ve read Volume 3, seems placed pretty perfectly? In case 3-1, he mentions Jewelry Étranger opened in April, and he’d been working there for six months, placing the first case around October as well… my fic ends when it’s November, but I’m still pleased by how close the time is. The reason it’s set here, of course, is because that’s when the cultural festival will be happening in Miyano’s third year. I’ve talked at length about what I see Hanzawa and Tashiro being up to around this time, particularly surrounding Tashiro crossdressing for the cultural festival, and the exploration of their relationship along with their own personal issues, and this was the perfect backdrop to set against this case. This is because I wanted Hanzawa’s changing to not be solely motivated by Seigi, so I needed sufficient events to be happening in the background that would prompt him to actually make that purchase of blue lace agate. And that’s why there’s a three-week gap between Seigi and Hanzawa meeting in that café and when he actually purchases that blue lace agate. The exact details of what happens there are vague, but the bonus scene I wrote shows at least some of it.
I’d planned to have Tashiro barely cameo in the background at first, but while I was outlining, I realized that Hanzawa was the kind of stubborn guy who needed a lot of prompting, and that Seigi wouldn’t understand half of what was going on if he’d never met Tashiro. Thus, Tashiro made an appearance, to which I’m very glad for! I think he acted as a really disarming presence for Hanzawa, and allowed Seigi, and thus, the audience, to see a lot of Hanzawa that we hadn’t been privy to before.
Here's the timeline of main events in the anomalous agate:
October 6th, 2018 — SATURDAY: Hanzawa Masato visits Jewelry Etranger for the first time.
October 8th, 2018 — MONDAY: Nakata Seigi and Tanimoto Shouko have mandatory English class.
October 11th, 2018 — THURSDAY: Nakata Seigi and Hanzawa Masato meet for the second time.
October 12th, 2018 — FRIDAY: Kaede and Nakata Seigi wave to each other on campus.
October 12th, 2018 — LATE FRIDAY: Kaede informs both Nakata Seigi and Hanzawa Masato that the senior harassing her has been expelled from the university.
October 14th, 2018 — SUNDAY: Hanzawa Masato visits Jewelry Etranger for the second time.
October 20th, 2018 — SATURDAY: Hanzawa Masato, Tashiro Gonzaburou, and Nakata Seigi run into each other at a cafe.
November 3rd, 2018 — SATURDAY: Tashiro Gonzaburou’s last cultural festival occurs.
November 10th, 2018 — SATURDAY: Hanzawa Masato visits Jewelry Etranger for the third time.
finally! some random notes I didn’t know how to categorize:
If you’re wondering who Kaede is, during the volume 5 extras, Hirano mentions this girl named Kaede that Hanzawa hangs out with often, and then asks if they’re dating. They’re not—but in ch 27, we spot him at the movies with a friend of his who’s a girl, and I’d decided that this is the Kaede Hirano mentions. That’s why she’s into movies—because that’s the only thing I could think of that’s even somewhat related to her appearance. The rest is kind of invented whole cloth… it ended up being helpful to get a kind of outside perspective on Hanzawa, so I was happy with how it turned out, and I hope it didn’t feel like she was just a boring plot device.
Also, when Hanzawa reminds Seigi that they’ve got each other’s numbers at the end, to me it’s the sort of thing like where in the early MCU movies, they’d end with getting contacted about the Avengers Initiative, or whatever… I haven’t watched them properly. But it’s a sign that like oh, stuff is going to cross over! So, for me, that’s a way of telling myself that if I ever feel like it, when I’m writing Hanzawa, he can call up Seigi, and I’ll have +20k of justification for that choice. Also, even though I said I didn’t want Seigi to be like most important life-changing person in Hanzawa’s life, I still did want them to have some of an effect on each other. And this is kind of proof of that.
edit: FUCK I FORGOT TO MENTION TEMPERATURE. hanzawa's associated with the cold and tashiro's associated with warmth. thats whys seigis always shivering or feeling gusts of wind when hanzawa shows up. and why he meets tashiro on a super warm day. richard gets some description mentions aligned with cold, specifically when he's asking seigi about his bruise, and that kind of mirrors hanzawa making tashiro sit still while he pulls out the eyelash curler. only there his hands are warm because like. hanzashiro's weird.
and for anyone who read the whole thing: some images for you! first, here's a sketch page that I messed around with while writing, so I could get some visual feelings:
and here's a screenshot of what editing / writing for ch 4 looked like when I discovered the magic of track changes:
#kiri.txt#commentary#the anomalous agate#in this essay i will#dunno if this'll be interesting to anyone...?
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Fic Recs: Underrated fluffy BNHA fics under 10k words
All of these fics have less than 2k kudos but are SO GOOD and SO SOFT! In no particular order. Italics are commentary added by me.
it takes two to tangle by @withstarryeyes, Lilly_Penwielder
Tensei tumbles into awareness like a newborn fawn, stumbling on legs that don’t feel like his own. The world is bright, and loud, and Tensei breathes for several moments before everything comes into focus. The Hero Killer is at the front of his mind, but he is no longer in front of him. Tensei is in a bright, crowded arena, and not a dirty back alley in Hosu. Something akin to panic begins to creep up his limbs. This is UA. It’s the Sports Festival, and Tensei almost wants to cry. Is his life replaying? Is he really actually dying?
But he can’t be, because this isn’t Tensei’s Sport’s Festival. This isn’t the city battle with a hostage on the line. It’s a giant arena and a small, pink haired girl with cross-hatches for pupils. He looks down at himself and finds that he’s wearing the new UA uniform, a deeper blue with a crisp, white UA on it. Then he catches a glimpse of his calves, the usually smooth skin saddled with engines like the ones on his arms. Oh, Tensei thinks, I'm Tenya.
Or…Tenya and Tensei Iida were not expecting their day to go quite like this.
(I loved the sibling interactions in this. Tenya has so much self criticism of needing to do well for his brother and then his brother is right there like "no i'm proud of you". Tensei is def a rarer character to see in fics but I think that makes this one all the better because the characterization is so on point.)
the way your hands were shaking (rather waste some time with you) by @ghostwriterofthemachine
It is only after Tenya asks him, “Are you going to be able to stand up in the shower?” that Izuku realizes that the answer to that question is, likely, no.
This is also when he starts crying.
Izuku is tired and hurt and very used to being alone.
Izuku also has friends who love him very, very much.
(Short and so so sweet this fic takes place after Deku's solo adventures post ofa reveal. Its about friendship and love and not needing to ask for help because someone offers first)
point of view by @aloera
Denki sighs. “Did anyone see that coming?” He asks. “Am I the only one confused, or did you guys all have Bakugou being good with kids on your bingo cards for this year?”
“He is not good with kids,” Midoriya says, a haunted look on his face. “Last week a child in our neighbourhood asked for his autograph and Kacchan told him that he wouldn’t go far in life if he kept on asking for handouts.”
or,
A quirk de-ages Kirishima. Bakugou handles it surprisingly well.
(I just... this is a love letter to Kirishima, from the author and from Bakugou, and its so soft. )
do you know me in the gloaming? by cassiopeia721
Due to a funny little genetic peculiarity in the makeup of her quirk, Momo can create flowers without even thinking about their molecular structures— or even intending to conjure them up. Predictably, this ends up being… embarrassing.
Or: Momo wishes that she would stop leaving petals trailing behind her like she's a damn flower girl at a wedding.
CW in the end notes.
(A really sweet momo/jirou fic where momo is going through it and jirou is by her side the entire time. Momo gets the chance to find herself at UA. Aesthetics of the fic too is really nice, super descriptive language paints a picture of all the flowers. do check cw, though most of them are not for main characters.)
Back To The Nest by Mags_Pie
After a long, exhausting patrol, all Hitoshi wants to do is go home and sleep. However, he makes one little mistake on the way.
--
“Move, and I’ll break your arm,” A gruff voice said behind him.
Confusion swept through Hitoshi. He recognised that voice.
“Dad?”
(Tired Hitoshi returning home on autopilot. Short look at family, home, and moving out but not moving on. Shinson and erasermic parents)
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WAHHHH YOUR TAGS ON THAT POST BESTIE IM RUGBY TACKLING YOU INTO A HUG RN <333 i have so much nerve to never shut the fuck up ever about every single thing in my life on here and then get genuinely surprised when people actually. have a grasp on where im at and how im doing and how i got there etc. like it's warming and touching and yeah. just makes me feel less alone in all the heaviness so tysm for those tags, i always appreciate acts of kindness that could very easily have been missed with no repurcussions if that makes sense? like you didnt HAVE to reblog that post and put those tags i would have thought no less of you if you hadnt, but you DID purely to be nice and that's a very lovely characteristic to have. especially bc - and sorry if this is weird - ive seen you in my notes with commentary on things if i reblog a post regarding mental health or something and idk. i think we're quite similar. like i always read every tag you put and i guess im just trying to say, from the snippets ive got, i see you too <3
Ohh my god hella you are so sweet and thoughtful istg <333 I may not be able to relate to all of your experiences but you articulate them in a way that makes me understand and more importantly *want* to understand which is so so important. Honestly even though we are similar we have grown up in very different environments and you have inadvertently taught me a lot just by sharing your thoughts and feelings and experiences!!
Thank you so much for taking the time to send me such a lovely ask I appreciate it very much :))) it boggles my mind that you actually read my tag rambles bc im sure you get a lot im so honored. Anyways I hope you have a lovely day and some warm cups of tea for the tough days ahead ^-^ it will be rough as you know but you will always bounce back better than before
#im losing my mind rn i did not expect a response skdjfhfhd#but yeah hella i need you to know that no one has humanized you in my mind better than you#prevents me from putting you on a pedestal but actually makes me admire you so much more for it#maybe it's just me but i always find it a lot easier to know and care about someone when i know both their hearts and their flaws#nothing increases my respect for someone more than them trying to help themselves be better#i love to see you caring about yourself and taking the time to acknowledge that you need things#and when you talk about all the good things going on in your life it makes me so so so happy for you#because i may not know you personally but i know you have struggled in the past with some of those things#and i am so glad it has gotten better for you#and guess who made it that way! guess who put in the effort to improve yourself and your life and get you those good things!!#it's you it's always been you#and you should be proud of yourself for that too
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hi!! this is my first post and it’s a lil tibit based on my own personal experience and writing usually helps me release those anxieties and thoughts that I’m too scared to share aloud. I’m also not sure if I’m doing this right so please be nice and patient with me. <333
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I’ve seemed to only run into him on fridays. Sitting in a pleather black couch in the second floor common area, a face mask adorned my mouth watching whatever the other girls streamed from netflix. Not that I paid attention to it. How could I? Though as nostalgic as they are, I’m not all that interested in rewatching those poorly animated Barbie movies from the 2000s as some of my floormates do. Yet, their company was better than none and spending the past six months in quarantine had me realize how much I hate being alone. Besides, I enjoy the ongoing commentary and shared laughter from that odd grouping of girls. It made the ongoing stress of my mental and academic health less daunting.
But back to him, I never planned it, it’s not as if I wait with my legs curled up on top of another as I rest my laptop on the meat of my thighs waiting for him to come through that heavy wooden door into the second floor. That divider between worlds since he was a third floor kid. We had a lot of mutual friends, and one of them has the reputation of being Ferris Bueller of the dorms with his door always open and booze always flowing. So it was common for anyone and everyone to stumble upon Daniels room on any given moment during friday and saturday nights.
Yet, when he comes into the common room no matter how bright that lumiating stark lights might be, he makes them shine brighter. So I’d sit on that black couch like I always seem to do during the evenings, with the same groups of girls, face mask on and a front row seat position to the second floor door. Skinny pop fresh and buttery in a mixing bowl on the coffee table in front of us. More laughter from The Princess and the Pauper as it plays on the big screen, the light tapping from the keys of my Macbook as I edit the last paragraph of my gendered studies paper, and through all the noise, there it is. Suddenly as it is almost expected, the heavy door of the second floor opens and my eyes, the only eyes paying attention, look up and there he is.
Oversized Football hoodie adorned on his body, jeans, and sneakers. I stand from the couch, and like a child greeting a parent after they’ve come home from work, I come towards the door.
“Jesse!” I call, and with mutual open arms I embrace him.
“How are you?” I would ask. He responds positively and asks the same of me. I’d tell him that I’ve been good as well, then we’d part ways. I’d go back to the pleather couch blushing through the RGB face mask and he’d walk his way to Daniel's room for the usual weekend kick back.
It never phased the girls I’d sit with. They would never question it. Eyes never leaving the screen and I liked it that way. Not that I was embarrassed about liking Jesse, there was nothing I was ashamed about when it came to my feelings for him. It was more about not being comfortable with talking about my infatuation because what if he gets word of it and doesn’t feel the same way? I’ve never been in a relationship before because I was never desirable enough for the generation I grew up with, the kids in my town. I was “too weird” or “too fat” for them to even give me the time of day. When I muster up the nerve to tell a crush that I’ve liked them, it always resulted in snickering or straight up grimaces. Growing into my new maturity physically and mentally, I knew my worth now as something beautiful, but part of me still feels blinded by others' attraction. Or even signs if someone even likes me back. Since I was so immune to it before, what if I’m over thinking or overlooking the signs? How do you really know if someone actually likes you back? There aren't enough questions for me to ask Wiki How to get the answers I need. I’d ask my friends but I’m embarrassed about how naive I am. They’re all beautiful women with their lists of past and current partners, and I have this irrational fear of them making fun of me. That I'm some prudent virgin. It sounds silly, trust me I’m very aware. If these girls made fun of me, then they’re not really my friends are they? However those thoughts still linger and somehow I’m oddly comfortable with the embracement of his arms and the “hi, how are you?” between us. Never wanting it to go further, because I don’t want to lose what I have. Don’t want to lose that comfortability between us into something more for the fear of the “what ifs.” What if he’s just a nice guy, what if he doesn’t like me back, what if he likes someone else. I keep myself steady into what I already know. Which is a warm hug and short conversation once a week where I wait until the next friday for him to come down to the second floor and into Daniel’s room.
Yet there are weekends where I would randomly see him later on in the evening where we’re both a tad inebriated off of cheap liquor and watered down beer. Our conversations would drift more loosely, but come the next day I couldn’t remember what we talked about, only that I knew that I talked to Jesse the night before, and I would wake up with a terrible hangover and a loose smile on my face. Drunk on him, hoping that maybe he feels the same way.
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I was going to add a comment to your post about ST:PIC, but I felt maybe this was too long and personal of a comment. And I don't even need a response if you don't feel like giving one. But I wanted to say, I understand, at least a little. When the DS9 episode with Jadzia's same sex kiss aired the first time on live TV, I was watching, and my mother turned it off and said it was disgusting. It's not like I was a little kid either - I was a teenager. I didn't see the end of that episode until it was streaming on Netfix decades later. My mother watched TOS when she was younger, so you would think that she would've understood that Star Trek likes being on the cutting edge of social commentary.
Anyway that was almost 30 years ago and I wish the real world had changed more in that time. I'll also add that my mom turning off the TV that day didn't stop me from eventually thinking that both Bashir and Jadzia were the best looking actors on the show. That weren't Romulans.
Thank you so much for sending me this, my friend. 💜 I hope you’re okay with me responding to this publicly (if you’re not, please let me know and I’ll take it down asap). Seriously, this message and all the other responses I’ve gotten have been really positive, so thank you! 💖
I’ve been trying to think of a reply to this beyond a simple ‘thank you,’ because I definitely want to make sure what I say is meaningful (especially given the personal nature of your message). Because this message 100000% deserves a meaningful response. This is a really important topic.
It’s nice to know I’m not alone. I mean, obviously, I’m sorry you had to go through that, of course, but thank you for taking the time to tell me about your experience. Moments like both yours and mine aren’t pleasant, but they do serve to illustrate a couple points.
I’m gonna pop them under a readmore. This is just a little dig for a silver lining to all this. Feel free to ignore if you like. I just felt rambly and had a few thoughts bouncing around in my head.
1.) Reassuring Non-Uniqueness - Almost anything you go through has been gone through before. I’m not downplaying anyone’s experiences by any means! Own your story! It’s your own! Your experiences are important! What I do mean is that if you’re looking for a solution to a problem you’re facing, there are likely a lot of people who can tell you what they did/how they faced a similar problem. You can learn from their experiences and take comfort in the fact that someone knows how you’re feeling (or at least have a pretty good idea of what you’re going through). You’re never alone. There are people who’ve been where you are and who will stand with you. (Also, you can make some pretty awesome friends in the process.)
2.) Failure To Replicate - Hatred and bigotry are obviously bad things. Do I even need to say that? Hopefully, people know that already. For the sake of my sanity, I’m going to assume people do know that. Once you get to a certain point, you start to realize that if you’re recognizing hatred/intolerance in your parents that you don’t share, while the hatred is bad, by simply recognizing that you don’t share it, that means their attempts to teach you to be intolerant like them have failed. Instead of raising their kids to be exactly like them, the goal of every good parent should be to raise their kids to be good people. As long as people keep failing to raise their kids to be hateful like them, the number of kind people in the world will keep growing. [insert “Task Failed Successfully” meme here]
I know this isn’t like...a super comprehensive essay, but I did want to toss out my two cents in case it helps someone.
...Also, on a less serious note: You’re very right, Julian and Jadzia are both SUPER ATTRACTIVE. *giggles in bisexual*
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This blog
I'm a fan of both Alex Hogh and Johanne Milland! I think they're both great. talented, beautiful, and lovely. Lovely couple.
To explain this blog. Formerly I had tried to send in positive/defending/different perspective asks elsewhere. One got through about deleting negative comments a long time ago, I still say it's better for mental health to delete them and ignore. So I gave up trying to send asks and decided to share posts with my positive comments. Or comment on posts as I see others do.
Then a post I shared was reposted and I was called names and bullied in the comments. I was admonished for calling the comment "leech licker" a nasty comment. My calling that comment "nasty" was uncalled for, but the nasty commenter wasn't even addressed. 🤔🤔🤔😂😂
this isn't the first time someone that likes the couple has been met with rude name calling behavior. Several people have been named and mocked/insulted for liking the couple. None of that was admonished either. I'm glad I'm not alone in recognizing this bullying pattern. I hope in real life they're good people that have just gotten carried away bc it's the internet.
Oh Well. I've been blocked from there which is cool, That's their choice, it is their blog. Do what you want. Dislike who you want. I disagree and have commentary. 😁😁 I do find it funny that they say they never get any positive asks. And funny that all opinions are said to be welcome when they are not. I've tried, but they were not welcome. If they were met less rudely I'm sure more would participate. But why bother? I was met with rudeness even when expressing in a comment that the nun bus bit was, to me, hilarious (I am Catholic, Nun/Catholic humor is great. imo). Asks were posted about me by my handle, several times, calling me more names. 🤔🙄
So now I feel free to discuss whatever I wish to here. I'll call it reactionary commentary. I try my best to not be judgey and call names. I don't like that behavior. Can't post on everything though, I don't have the time. But when I do have time I will. 😊😊 And when I feel like posting the couple of course.😃😃
But again, when I can. Because I don't feel like I should be silenced or bullied for having a different opinion.
From my LOL post:
'apparently disagreeing politely (when directly addressed in comments after I reblogged a post) without insults and being nice is argumentative. I was called a "leech licker" "stan", and a "troll". I was "pushing an opinion". 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 at least I don't hurl personal insults like they did to me. And these are the people who claim to "hate bullies.'
So I decided to post all of my opinions here. 😊😊 All the ones and more that I've sent in before.
Not trying to "start" anything. I'm just posting my thoughts, uncensored, and without anyone calling me rude and nasty things bc I see someone/the couple differently than they do. 😊😊😊 I like to celebrate happy people in love. It makes me happy when others are happy.
I like the couple, it's so great they look so happy now in general and so happy together. I'm happy for them.💖💖😊😊 Also great he and his dad went to a concert. Glad they had fun! His Dad has got some great moves!
And as always I really don't expect anyone to read my lengthy posts. Cheers to anyone who does. 😊 Have a great day/weekend!!
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Alrightttt, I’m on a roll so we’re going onto chappy five 🥳🥳🥳😎😎
I know the movies made the Capitol — re: basically only Effie and maybe Caesar — have those ridiculous made up accents but .... I actually feel like the description of the Capitol accent in the book is supposed to be like the Kardashians or Paris Hilton’s voice. 🤷🏼♀️
“Why do these people speak in such a high pitch? Why do their jaws barely open when they talk? Why do the ends of their sentences go up as if they're asking a question? Odd vowels, clipped words, and always a hiss on the letter s. no wonder it's impossible not to mimic them.” Like this is a pretty good description of how Kim Kardashian and her sisters talk. And Suzzy C did say she was inspired by the juxtaposition between war news footage and ridiculous reality television shows so... I think my theory of the Capitol all talking like they’re on the Real Housewives of LA is pretty valid.
Just imagine Paris Hilton as Effie and Nicole Richie as one of her preps
Lolololol this whole section of waxing is reminding me to go get my legs waxed 😭😭😭 straight up calling me out here, Suzanne
I like how Katniss says her stylist “apparently has no interest in seeing her until the prep team has addressed obvious problems.” Like you can tell from her narration she was expecting to feel the same was about Cinna that she does about Effie and her prep team.
The “gritty loam that takes off dirt and three layers of skin” is probably just a strong exfoliator 😭😭😭 my girl knows nothing about quality skincare 🤧🤧 someone build a Panem Sephora
She mentioned them waxing her underarms.... girl, did you have hairy armpits before this? Idk why this revelation is new to me
“Grease her down!” Just sounds wrong 😅😅😅😅 I need to stop being annoying omg I’m like a twelve year old
Hmm it’s funny to me that Katniss refers to Octavia as plump. You’d think in a place like the Capitol body image and weight would be very important. Unless it’s like back in the old, old days when being overweight was a sign of wealth. Which would make more sense so this was an unnecessary thought process curtesy of Samantha
Katniss faking a smile and thanking her prep team shows she does know how to play the game and fake it better than she says.
So ... okay, hear me out, I’m not trying to get over the top or make this into something it’s not but ... the whole stylists / Cinna coming into the room and staring at her naked is a little weird. Especially considering Cinna isn’t Lenny Kravitz who’s like a bit older than her but actually like a twenty-something year old dude.
But okay, here’s the thing I was getting at ... Cinna’s one of the best people in this series and you can’t deny that. Even if you find him boring, he’s still one of Katniss’ closest people. Also he’s probably gay. But like ... what about the other stylists? I don’t wanna be that person who makes everything more than it is, but like, this scene just sounds like a perfect opportunity for some Capitol creep to assault a teenager idk I’m probably making a mountain out of a molehill just ignore Samantha okay.
That’s nice that he complimented her mama though 🥰🥰🥰
So Katniss calls District Twelve the least desirable district but ... doesn’t District Eleven suck too? Like she also later says District Twelve is the smallest and the poorest but doesn’t she also say Rue is worse off than her and Prim? Make up your mind, Suz.
Cinna claims he asked for District Twelve but did he really get an option? 😅 If it’s his first year and Katniss claims the newbies get them anyway 🤷🏼♀️ Samantha is once again, reading too much into this.
Awww, Katniss is thinking about how long it would take for her to assemble this fancy meal at home 🤧🤧🤧 it would take her days and the Capitol just has the necessary resources at their disposal and they just takes it for granted. And yes, I’m aware this is supposed to be calling all us readers out who take so much for granted I know. We’re the Capitol.
“How would I spend the hours I now commit to combing the woods for sustenance if it were so easy to come by?” It’s honestly so sad but so vital to her character that Katniss has zero hobbies or real free time. Her life is about surviving. She doesn’t get to live or enjoy very much of her time. She dedicates everything to keeping Prim — and her mother — alive, sacrificing everything a teenage girl should be doing. Sacrificing even the things the other girls in her world get to do. She mentions the merchant girls and the Seam girls who are more experienced romantically and sexually and socially than her. Because she doesn’t get to be a kid or innocent or even happy, in order to focus on her and her family’s survival. And the things she does enjoy, like spending time with Gale or dancing with Prim (mentioned in Mockingjay) she downplays in case they’re taken away, because nothing good is secure in her eyes. 🥺🥺🥺
Okay but what did Katniss’ facial expression give away that Cinna knew exactly what she was thinking? Or is she just less emotionless than she and Haymitch both claim? Ironically I think they’re the only people who call her emotionless which can easily be chalked up to their self-hate and terrible self-esteems.
Katniss is so afraid they’re gonna make her be naked for the parade 😭. Honestly though they’re children that’s so creepy that they’re even allowed to make 15/16/17 year olds be naked in a parade. I mean I know they kill kids every year but isn’t there like child pornography laws in Panem? 😭
“You’re not afraid of fire, are you, Katniss?” Is so foreshadowing 😭😂😅😎 Caesar Flickerman’s voice “Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!”
Honestly though Cinna is smart to make Katniss recognizable in the arena by leaving her with simple makeup. I know and the sky is blue we all know this already beating the dead horses until the farmer comes home.
“It crosses my mind that Cinna's calm and normal demeanor masks a complete madman.” It’s true though 😅😅😅😭😭 he was always a rebel. I actually think he may have asked for District Twelve after Katniss volunteered, because he saw the potential in her. Poor Peeta. Baby, I’m rooting you for even if no one else is.
Also I always found it a bit .... curious? That Peeta had a female stylist and Katniss had a male one? Not just because of the required nudity, you’d just think men would do better as a boy’s stylist and a woman would make a better girl’s stylist. So yes, my whole Cinna was interested in District Twelve because Katniss seemed like a good symbol for a rebellion idea seems very plausible.
I know I know I know I read wayyy too much into this stuff sometimes a cigarette 🚬 is just a cigarette 🚬
Katniss being relieved when Peeta shows up 😭😭😭 because even if she won’t admit it and even if she won’t let herself trust him, she still sees him unconsciously and completely against her will as a comfort because they’re in this thing together in a way, even if they’re supposed to try and kill each other
And honestly, it’s such a like... relatable feeling? To feel alone and nervous and uptight and then someone who you recognize — even if you maybe aren’t even friends with but you at least know — shows up and you just instantly feel less alone. I’m totally looking at this through shipper goggles and I’m not even ashamed you all knew who’s blogging you were reading ight? 😂🤣🤷🏼♀️
“He should know about fire, being a baker's son and all.” And he’s gonna learn a lot more about it when he falls in love — for real, falls in love, not a childhood infatuation — with the girl on fire. 🥰🥰🥰
But also, I love this particular line on a reread because it totally is an indicator towards their future. Like Peeta knows about fire, he’s experienced with how to handle it, and later on, he becomes the only person who truly comes to understand Katniss, who represents fire, in a way that no one else could ever imagine.
Hmmm, Katniss’ point of view here, talking about how Portia and Peeta’s team seem all giddy and air-headed and it’s only Cinna who seems reserved makes me rethink my previous imaginings of Peeta’s stylist. Maybe she’s just a Capitolite idiot and nothing like Cinna. And my baby got a raw deal here then too. Good thing Haymitch loves him more. Just kidding 😅😅😅
But also I wanna know why Cinna is hesitant to accept congratulations for his and Portia’s idea? Wasn’t he at least lowkey excited about it when he pitched it a page ago?
Their horses are coal black 🐴 😅. I like that they went the whole nine yards with the theme. Nothing but the best for the kids on Death Row.
Aww Katniss asking Peeta what he thinks about being set on fire is so sweet and pure for some reason. I just find their commodore here cute ok
“I'll rip off your cape if you'll rip off mine” this is literally their first friend type of interaction and it’s so pure y’all leave me be I’m emotional for them
🙃 Also lowkey reminds me of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Everyone look away ok I’m sorry
Peeta’s shady/annoyed Haymitch comment and Katniss’ joke at his expense 🤣🤣😂🤣😂😂🥲🥲☺️🥲🥲 they’re bonding it’s so presh
“And suddenly we're both laughing.” I hope they laugh a lot together post-canon 🥲🥲🥲. If they can make the other laugh during their terrible circumstances, then they can make the other laugh anywhere. 🤧 Except in Thirteen because he’s hijacked and she’s certifiable and they’re both so used and abused and 🥺🥺🥺🥺
Okay I have to say, Suzanne Collins really builds up a lot for certain events and then just like grazes over the actual action of said event? Like she builds towards the tribute parade but then kind of rushes through off the actual event itself? It’s a common theme in her writing. And I don’t like it at all ngl.
Oh wait she doesn’t actually rush the parade events the paragraph before just looked like she was about to I jumped the gun 🤣😂🤭 but what I said is still completely true for many events in these books sorry not sorry
I’m definitely reading too much into it but the fact that District One — the favorite of the Capitol — gets snow white horses and District Twelve gets coal black horsies kind of ... seems to imply something .... 🤭
Cinna just lets out a sigh of relief “it worked” like ... way to fill your tributes with hope, dude. “Yeah, you’re totally safe, don’t be scared-OH THANK GOD THAT WORKED I wasn’t actually sure you wouldn’t blow up.” But actually this answers my previous inquiry about why he seemed hesitant I guess he wasn’t even sure this wouldn’t burn them up that’s nice 🤭🙃
It’s a literal trial by fire *cue drum hit* 🥁 aww, I just cracked myself up 😭
“Then he gently tucks a hand under my chin. "Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you!" This is caught halfway between being very Capitol-y and very father-brotherly and idk which way to take it but it’s kind of cute 🤭
“For the first time, I look at him and realize that ablaze with the fake flames, he is dazzling.” This is such a significant line because Katniss isn’t saying Peeta is technically good looking (like when Haymitch said they were decently attractive) or someone else thinks he’s good looking (i.e Gale, her mother and lowkey Finnick) but she’s saying she herself thinks he’s attractive. Girl, your crush is showing.
"I think he said for us to hold hands," says Peeta.” I’m sure Cinna actually did say that but this just seems like a very good opportunity for Peeta to hold the hand of the girl he has a massive crush on. 😭😭😭
Okay Cinna gave a thumbs up so he actually was saying that but can you imagine Peeta’s excitement right now?
I mean, yeahhhh, there’s the certain death looming over him too but like live in the moment, babe. 🥰😘🤗👌🏻
I like that Katniss says the crowd is at first like 😳😳😳 before they start cheering like they’re thinking “what are these backwoods, hillbilly kids doing this year?”
“At first, I'm frozen, but then I catch sight of us on a large television screen and am floored by how breathtaking we look. In the deepening twilight, the firelight illuminates our faces” okay they both have to be pretty naturally attractive people objectively, because you illuminate my face without much makeup and no one is gonna be cheering.
“Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you! I hear Cinna's voice in my head. I lift my chin a bit higher, put on my most winning smile, and wave with my free hand.” I wonder what the true difference is for Katniss between Cinna and Effie saying this to her? Maybe it’s that Effie is just outright mean to her sometimes whereas Cinna shows her nothing but kindness from the start and expresses sympathy and understanding? It’s probably that he’s already earning her trust versus Effie who’s just cruel I’m not over her comments on the train ok
“I'm glad now I have Peeta to clutch for balance, he is so steady, solid as a rock.” Right from the start, Katniss refers to Peeta as solid and steady. Idk, I feel like this is something that the movies really misses along the way. Katniss wasn’t always strong or confident at all and Peeta, at least publicly, exuded those qualities pretty well. Samantha’s complaining again ™️ 💁🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
Also this is just outright foreshadowing how Peeta will eventually become her rock. Or that he will be soon painted a rock ... pick and choose which way you wanna go with this. 🤷🏼♀️💁🏼♀️😅🤣
“As I gain confidence, I actually blow a few kisses to the crowd.” Okay, see I feel like Peeta really gives Katniss confidence in herself. If he’d been there in District Thirteen and they’d done propos together, she probably would have been a thousand times better.
But also this makes me think Katniss actually has it in her to be a charismatic, confident, alluring celebrity. She just chooses not to. 🤗🤗🤗
But this also reminds me of “She has no idea the effect she can have” okay imma move on and stop focusing on every little detail
I say that every chapter 🤧😅
“The pounding music, the cheers, the admiration work their way into my blood, and I can't suppress my excitement.” Say whatever you want, Katniss is still such a girl underneath it all. She gets excited over people liking her and cheering her on. And I know it’s because it increases her chances of getting sponsors but still
Honestly Peeta trying to showcase Katniss and let her take the spotlight is so selfless and indicative of his ultimate plan to help her win but also ... I can see how Katniss would believe it’s too good to be true and he’s messing with her. That he’s just playing the game to earn her trust, get her guard down and manipulate her later.
See, Peeta is actually framed at the start like the typical, standard YA love interest turned villain. In majority of YA books, at this point the boy is kind and sweet and helpful to the girl until she trusts him completely and then he turns on her and uses everything she gave him to destroy her. But the difference is, Katniss refuses to truly trust him and she is guessing his game incorrectly at every step. And then it’s revealed that it was never a game and he truly isn’t messing with her and everything he’s done that’s seem too good to be true and not even remotely plausible has actually been genuine and heartfelt and that, my friends, is why Peeta is above all other YA love interests. Because Everlark is actually the foil to many of the cliches. That was a long speech over some incoherent thoughts I’m so sorry if you suffered through that.
“It's not until we enter the City Circle that I realize I must have completely stopped the circulation in Peeta's hand. That's how tightly I've been holding it.” Awww he is her rock 😭🤧🥺
"No, don't let go of me," he says. The firelight flickers off his blue eyes. "Please. I might fall out of this thing." Okay this part is so cute and so blatantly setting Peeta up as her main love interest omg 😅 this isn’t the least bit subtle or disguised. But first off, the fact that Katniss is also Peeta’s stability here too 😭😭😭 and second of all, she takes time to notice his blue eyes against the firelight? She was attracted to him from the very start, y’all. That’s indisputable. 👌🏻😎🤧
“It's not really fair to present us as a team and then lock us into the arena to kill each other.” I agree with you, baby, it’s not fair at all. But you two take care of that situation nicely. Or not. Y’all do start a dang war. 🤭🤭🙃🙃
It’s rather ... ironic that it’s District Twelve’s chariot of them all that is pulled up and stopped directly in front of President Snow’s mansion. I know it’s a book, certain details like this are definitively contrived, I know get over it. 🤦🏼♀️💁🏼♀️
So uh. Snow is a small thin man? Why do I suddenly imagine Danny Devito as Snow 😅😅😅😅🤣🤣🤣🤣 y’all know he’d kill the role
“The darker it becomes, the more difficult it is to take your eyes off our flickering.” Okay, this is such a great line and it’s so significant to the rest of the series? The fact that Katniss — and Peeta, let’s not forget our boy — became symbols of the revolution. Like this line is deep if you think about it. The worse things in Panem got, the more the civilians looked towards Katniss and Peeta for hope 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰
Omg now after Songbirds and Snakes, we know the national anthem. I’m sorry, babies, that you have to endure that I’ll get you out of there 🙉🙉🙉
I feel like in part, the Capitol camera crew — Cressida, Pollux .... Pollux’s brother... is that you here???? — put so much attention on District Twelve because it would create some resentment and competition between them and the careers 🤭🤗
“I notice a lot of the other tributes are shooting us dirty looks, which confirms what I've suspected, we've literally outshone them all.” Insert Gretchen Wieners “I can’t help that I’m popular!” 😅😅😅😅😅
“I realize I'm still glued to Peeta and force my stiff fingers to open. We both massage our hands.” — they were hanging on so tight 😭😭😭😭
“Thanks for keeping hold of me.” He’s so sweet ☺️☺️☺️ I love him even if he’s kind of an idiot sometimes but so is Katniss so let’s not point fingers
“I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. [...] And then he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness” Omg I know Katniss views this as him trying to manipulate her but the fact that he’s actually just admitting the way he’s felt for years is so 😭😭😭😭 if only you’d spit it out sooner, Bready
“he gives me a smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.” She literally has a crush on her fellow tribute and her first line of defense is to decide he out to get her for making her feel this way 🤣😭🙃
“The more likable he is, the more deadly he is.” The more my crush grows, the more deadly he becomes. I know I’m reading this with shipper goggles but guess what? I’m unashamed. 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ who feels guilty for reading this book with an Everlark bias not this girl right here 🙋🏼♀️🙋🏼♀️🙋🏼♀️
“I stand on tiptoe and kiss his cheek. Right on his bruise.” Okay first off, she says cheek here but according to a chapter ago, she claimed the mark was on his jaw... so in other words, she’s incredibly short. If a medium height guy has a bruise on his jaw and she has to stand on her tip toe to reach it... well... hashtag LittleKatniss
And second off.... can you even imagine how Peeta must feel. He genuinely complimented her here, the girl he has had a crush on forever, and she responds by kissing his cheek. He was probably really happy at this moment. And also this probably played further into his buying into her false display in the arena. That here we have her clutching his hand, smiling and laughing with him and kissing his cheek. Idk what I was trying to say necessarily but I made myself sad wow way to go me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧
Anyways! Those are my very over the top and too detailed thoughts! Hope you enjoyed if you read this! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳😎😎😎😎😎😎😎🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
#thgagain#once again the Jen gifs are still headlining these posts 🥳🥳🥳#this isn’t as funny as my others so I’m sorry y’all#but I like nice commentary on these posts makes me feel less alone so feel free
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speaking of college boys, what do the college au aot babies study??
Okay, okay, I think I’ve talked about this in an ask before but I can’t find it 😭😭 but it’s okay, I love college aus, so I’ll talk about it again! Plus, now I’ve got more thoughts for more characters, so here we go
Levi — neuroscience and psychology of human behavior
He started out on track to do a bachelor of arts in psychology, but when they touched on the anatomy and biological parts of it during his first year lecture, he switched to a bachelor of science.
The focus is still psychology, but through a more clinical lens. Essentially, he gets the best of both worlds this way. He’s intuitive and analytical, so clinical and mental diagnosis is easy to dissect for him. He’s also canonically good at math, so the calculus and stats parts aren’t too bad, either.
This major also leaves him with a few options post-grad, which is a nice bonus for him. He’s likely going to medical school, but that’s not the only route open to him: law school, therapy, lab work, medicine and pharmacy, even teaching are all viable options without going to grad school.
Do not talk to him about Freud unless you wanna get punted off a building.
Be careful with him, because with a single glance he’s already got scarily accurate predictions about your parental and emotional attachment styles, your behavior in social settings, and the onset (or seemingly lack thereof) of your frontal lobe development.
He thinks he’s so smart making comments like, “I see those synaptic connections aren’t working so well for you today,” like mf come here let me lobotomize you and see how well your synaptic connects are working after that🙄
Eren — general health sciences
He’s interested in science and the discovery aspects of it, but picking a specific field of focus right now feels too final. He likes it this way, because his schedule and requirements are less restrictive, and he has more room to find out what really interests him.
He does best when he’s doing something he loves, so picking a major with a bunch of reqs that he couldn’t care less about would have sucked big time for him. It also would have affected his grades. There are still some classes he has to take that he’s not fond of (see: chemistry), but that’s to be expected. Science in general is cool to him and he hopes to make his own discovery some day, even if it’s microscopic.
He also plays a lot of sports, keeping his schedule flexible is important. The sports end up helping him excel academically, which is a nice bonus. Honestly, Eren uses his time at university to learn more about himself than anything, so having control and freedom to do what he likes the majority of the time was important to him.
He uses his elective credits to take philosophy or history courses of his interest, or maybe even a course that you’re in just to spend time with you. He also uses you as a live model for his homework bye, congrats on being patient number one to him.
Armin — astronomy and physics
He’s still interested in marine biology, but unless he attended a school near a coast, or with a specialized integrated program for that, it’s unlikely he’d major in it during undergrad.
Space and ocean exploration aren’t all that different. Both are vast, largely unexplored domains that reel-in Armin’s interest for discovery. So, while studying astronomy, he still gets to study evolution and make his own predictions about what could be out there because there’s so much to know.
Physics comes with the territory of learning about planetary science, and he’s mathematically inclined, so it works out for him. Learning about the different physical properties of other planets and space masses is honestly pretty sick to him. Because math isn’t a struggle, he actually considered aeronautical engineering, but he didn’t want to be a part of the college to military pipeline; that is, he didn’t want any potential design of his to be weaponized.
He still gets to study animal biology through his elective courses, and might even find a few focused on marine animals to satiate him. Plant and cell biology are also of interest to him, and are just further applications of his primary study anyway, so he’s got plenty of room to work with.
This boy is interning at NASA and still, with his whole chest out is like, “I don’t need to discover a new planet, you’re my whole world.” Armin, go check on the Mars rover or something please.
Mikasa — anthropology + minor in japanese language studies
Anthropology is virtually interdisciplinary in nature, and Mikasa is a pretty well rounded student, so she’s able to excel in a program like this. She gets to study history, science, cultural studies, and even a bit of art all at once.
She’s still debating between going to law school vs med school, so anthro this is a good in-betweener. She gets a taste of science through her anatomy and kin courses; and lots of practice with reading and dissecting texts through the historical and cultural lectures. So, when the time comes to decide, she’ll have some experience with both.
Don’t know whether it’s confirmed that she’s (part) Japanese or not, but either way I headcanon that she speaks/spoke some second language at home. She wanted to delve more into it, and courses were offered at the university so why not?
Cultural studies courses end up being her favorite. She likes learning about the history of people and their cultures, and it encourages her to learn more about her own family history and culture. It also propels her to apply for a study abroad opportunity, so she spends at least one semester doing an exchange program and absolutely loves it.
She would also encourage you to apply and go, too. You guys might not be in the same program, but if there’s an applicable program in the same country she’s going to, then she’d definitely want you to apply. Spending the semester away with you would be a dream come true.
Hange — bioengineering + minor in political philosophy and law
It’s almost self-sabotage to be in an engineering program and have a minor; the coursework for engineering alone is backbreaking, and bioengineering has the added weight of human intricacies, but of course Hange makes it possible.
They’re nothing short of a genius, so of course they have time to work a completely unrelated minor into their schedule. It doesn’t surprise anyone that they go on to complete an MD-PhD after undergrad. Insane.
Bioengineering is essentially the synthesis of chemical engineering and health sciences; Hange spends their time exploring biological sciences and applies the engineering aspects of their coursework to their understanding of (and interest in creating) medicine. Truly a one of a kind mind.
They also have an interest in philosophy and justice, so when they found out they only needed a measly nine or ten courses to minor in, they went for it, of course. In honesty, they don’t find the studies all that opposing: both law making and medicine making both have some kind of philosophy or method to them in their eyes.
Hange has... little to no free time pls. They don’t mind it, because they love their coursework, but this means you are essentially ducking into their labs or scrambling to find them in-between their classes during your time in undergrad. They appreciate every second spent with you tho, and will gladly rope you into long discussions about their work.
Jean — biochemistry + minor in art sustainability
He was undeclared his first year, and took a little bit of everything: art, science, history, anthropology, english. Basically, anything that fit into his schedule. It was hard for him to pick one thing—he liked the science and lab applications of STEM courses, but not the math; and the obvious painting and creativity of art, but hated the pretentious air about art history.
What he wants to do is make a difference, which is how he ends up knowing that he wants to go to med school after, so he picks a science-heavy major, but uses his elective spaces to take art courses. When he mixes the two, he ends up on sustainability—and the complexities about it that are applicable to both science and art are what really reels him in.
Interdisciplinary studies end up being his forte. He can approach sustainability from a science perspective which impacts his art style and materials; and tuning into his creative side allows him to think about science not just from a purely clinical perspective, but from a human one, too—patients are people after all.
He believes that everything is connected somehow, even things as seemingly opposite as art and biochemistry. And he works towards finding the unique intersection where everything overlaps. His studies are pretty cool, and he’s very passionate about them, so ask him about it 😌
The art he makes is pretty sick, too, and often commentary about science; he’s proving they’re not so opposite. You also heavily influence his studies in both areas: caring about you so much inspires him to take the healthcare focus seriously, and your very nature is inspiration to his art.
Sasha — nursing
She’s friendly and good at working with people, so nursing was an easy choice for her. She accredits most of her motivation to being around her younger family members, and learns that she finds a simple kind of joy in helping to take care of others.
She struggles a bit her first year when it’s mostly all grades and standardized testing, but when she starts getting clinical experience and working in the hospital on campus, things round out for her.
Patient care is her strongest point. A lot of people often forget that knowing everything isn’t everything; if you don’t know how to calm or even just talk to your patient, you’re not that great of a healthcare professional.
Pretty certain that she wants to work with kids in the future, but she’s open to public health and even being a travel nurse if she finds opportunity there!
Of course, she’s pretty doting when it comes to you and all her friends. She might want to go into pediatrics, but the basics of nursing and health care extend to everyone, so you’re guaranteed to be well taken care of with Sasha around. You might even have to switch roles and take care of her sometimes, because her coursework can get pretty out of hand.
Connie — computer engineering with a focus on game design
He might not look it, but Connie has a brain under that shaved head of his. Computer engineering is cool to him because he basically learns about how simple things he uses every day (ie: phone, computer, microwave) works.
Systems and coding are actually the easy part for him, especially when they get into the application of it and aren’t just stuck looking at examples. That’s how he gets into game design.
The part about math and electricity and magnetic fields… well let’s just say he needed to make friends with someone who likes math and hardware his first year to get through it. But the struggle was worth it, because by his junior year he’s found a professor willing to mentor/supervise him as he works on his game and other projects, so life is good.
His school work is definitely hard, which is why the lives by the mantra of “work hard, party harder.” It’s only fair.
He makes you a little avatar so you can test out his games for him <33 best boyfriend things <33 He’d also… build a game about your relationship. Every level is a different date you guys went on, and he definitely includes something cheesy, like “There are unlimited lives because I love you forever babe <3”
Porco — kinesiology + maybe mechanical engineering
He’s pretty into athletics and working out, but didn’t wanna go down the sports psychology route; he wanted something that left him with a few more options, so he ended up in kinesiology.
He was surprisingly pretty good at biology in high school, so something stem-oriented works out in his favor, and it turns out he’s pretty damn good at anatomy, too. He’ll probably end up in physical therapy after graduation.
He’s also got a knack for cars, which is where the engineering comes in, but he doesn’t care so much for the math part of it (he doesn’t care for it at all actually, fuck that); he just wants the hands on experience of building/fixing things and working with his hands. So, if he can get a minor in it and not struggle through 4 years of math, then he’d do that. If not, he’d take a few workshop-like classes.
Because he wants to go into physical therapy, you are essentially his practice patient. Your back hurts? Not a problem, he’s basically a professional masseuse. Muscle aches? He’s got a remedy and understanding of why it’s happening. Don’t let him catch you hunting over your desk grinding away at your homework, because he will poke your neck and correct your posture (he’ll also massage your shoulders, but after the scolding).
Pieck — classics + minor in philosophy
Ancient studies interest her, but more than that, the language of ancient Greek and Roman culture fascinates her, so classics is the way to go.
Because her focus within Classics ends up being Greek and Latin language studies, she is essentially learning both languages at the same time. She gets farther with Latin that she does with Greek. For whatever reason, the former comes almost naturally to her, so her written and translated work is more complex in Latin.
However, she finds cultural studies relation to Greece more interesting than that of Rome, so it’s a give and take with both; better at languages for Roman studies, better at culture and history for Greek studies.
Her minor is a natural evolution from her primary coursework. Ancient Romans and Greeks set the foundation for a lot of modern day philosophy, so it comes up in her major classes, but she wanted to delve further into the philosophy, and not just look at it historically, so she takes more courses to fulfill the minor.
Can be found laying on a blanket in the quad on a hot day, with her books spread out all around her, highlighter in hand as she works through her reading. You’re always invited to sit with her, and more often than not, it ends up with Pieck’s head in your lap, a book in her hands, and your own schoolwork in yours as you both read in each other’s company.
Bertholdt — computer science and coding
He’s level headed, good at planning, and above all, patient, so he’s cut out for this. He doesn’t consider himself to be particularly creative, which is why he doesn’t pick a speciality with lots of design; but he’s good at streamlining and ideas to life.
The patience really comes in when his code doesn’t run. It’s frustrating to scroll for two hours just to find out that the issue is a missing semi-colon in line 273 that he overlooked, but Berty will sit there until he finds it.
He’s also good at fixing issues. That’s not limited to issues in the code itself; it can mean finding shorter ways to produce the same function or loop, or integrating new aspects into existing code.
Also, he’d just be so cute, coding away on his computer. Just imagine: Berty working on his homework in the library, he’s got his signature crewneck + collared shirt look going for him, his blue-light glasses, a cup of coffee nearly as tall as him sitting at the corner of his desk. Adorable.
He’d make little codes/programs for you, too, even if it’s silly. A simple code that helps you decide what to eat for dinner or where to go on a date, one that shuffles different reminders for you, hell he’ll even forgo the torture of design engineering just to build you a little robot that says “I love you” to you.
Reiner — english + minor in justice & political philosophy
Everyone expects Reiner, star quarterback of the university’s rugby team, to be a business student or communications student; but no, he’s an English major, and he loves it.
Just imagine a guy as huge as Reiner absolutely manhandling someone on the field, just to show up in his lectures with a tiny paperback of The Great Gatsby tucked between his fingers with his reading glasses on. It’s so precious.
He’s always running a bit late to class—either coming from the gym, or practice, or oversleeping from exhaustion—but he’s so sweet to his professors and genuinely interested in the literature that they don’t give him a hard time about it. They can tell that balancing school and sports is difficult, and they just appreciate that he takes his studies seriously.
Yeah he’s in a book club and he dog-ears his books. What about it. They’re doing poetry this month and Reiner actually likes Edgar Allen Poe. Who said jocks can’t be sentimental.
He also reads a lot outside of his classes, and has a soft spot for coming of age stories. He usually empathizes with the main character somehow. His ideal weekend plans after a week of grueling games and essays is taking a long, relaxing shower at your place, while you both share a bottle of wine, and maybe even get you to read a chapter or two of his current book out loud to him.
Annie — clinical psychology/neuroscience
Almost scarily analytical and methodic, so this major was calling her name. Localizing brain legions is… insanely intuitive to her it’s incredible. She’ll be an insanely impressive doctor someday, even if she doesn’t end up working with patients directly.
She doesn’t care too much for the more philosophical/reading heavy parts of psychology. Even experiments and research closer to the social end of the spectrum aren’t all that interesting to her; but the brain science behind it it.
Nobody should be good at cellular biology. Nobody should be able to ace cell bio and neuro and calc and work towards their thesis proposal in the same semester, but Annie proves it’s possible.
Ends up working in one of her professor’s labs by her junior year. She was offered three TA positions working with first year students, but she swiftly turned them down. Teaching isn’t her thing.
She doesn’t bring up her studies to you unprompted, but if you ask her about them she’ll explain it to you. Her notes are color coded and it’s super neat, and very cute; coloring them is somewhat relaxing for her. She usually saves the coloring part for when you guys study together; there’s extra comfort in doing it with you around.
#anonymous#anyways jean kirschtein date me challenge paint me like one of ur french molecules#aot x reader#snk x reader#levi x reader#eren x reader#levi fluff#levi smut#eren fluff#mikasa x reader#armin x reader#jean x reader#jean kirstein x reader#connie x reader#porco galliard x reader#pieck x reader#annie x reader#theres too many of them im tapping out#aot imagines#minicanons
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the post hasn't surfaced yet so please use this ask to talk abt the objectification of the 911 men!!
Ahh May you’re too nice but also thank you, I’m gonna 😂💛
This got. CRAZY long bc I just had a million thoughts so I’m gonna stick it under a cut.
To be honest, I think the reason they do *any* sort of objectification at all is that middle aged and older viewers are used to being able to objectify actors to a certain extent. Lord knows it happens on literally every other single piece of media, and this is a mainstream broadcast show, not an indie series or the likes, so I think they have to cater to those people as well as us, and the WAY they do it is so interesting to me bc even when they’re doing it, they use it as a way to drive home other, deeper messages.
For starters, I feel like the show OG was trying to be in the pilot and the first few episodes would have objectified the men WAY more than we see now if there hadn’t been that shift in tone - the sex addict plot could have been SO much more extended and given us a lot more opportunities to see Buck shirtless and to objectify him and his body. So I find it SO interesting that around the same time as Bobby opening up about his family and his past, we also stop w/ Buck being blatantly shirtless all the time. Narratively, it signals to me the point where the writers moved away from the the typical tv show that will treat their actors like meat, and moved more into a “female gaze” show. And then what’s really interesting to me, is that for Buck, after that, when he has sex w Taylor Kelly in s2, both times we NEVER see him undressed. The second time they don’t get very far, but he’s wearing a buttonable shirt. He absolutely could have been wearing that shirt closed, and she could have opened it, and he could have been wearing nothing underneath it, and we would have seen his chest again in a sexy scenario - but they didn’t. In fact they made the DELIBERATE choice to give him an undershirt. And of course with the first time they cut away and just left us w the understanding that sex was happening, yet again taking away an opportunity to show O.S. at least partially undressed. Which is SO different from how s1 goes about it, where we actually see Buck w his shirt open and his underwear exposed MULTIPLE times. So it’s so incredibly interesting to me that while none of the (main/regular) women’s stories are ever about sex like Buck’s is, I also think it’s REALLY interesting that the objectification of the men was, and could have been, much worse and that they didn’t have to move away from that, but they did.
But then secondly! The very last time we get into a plot that revolves around the men’s bodies specifically is in 2x01, which is SUCH an interesting plot. Surface level - it’s just about the men competing about who’s more attractive, and we get lots of muscle flexing and hot manliness to go along with it. And it is, at a surface level, incredibly shallow. But simultaneously they use it to 1. Introduce the idea that Buck wasn’t a sex addict bc he was “dealing w the stress of the job” like s1 mostly implied. It was bc he’s desperate to feel useful and wanted by someone, and at that point he really wanted that acceptance within the firehouse, rather than from other people. (Bc lbr, Abby didn’t do shit for Buck. It was Bobby, opening up and accepting the family, and specifically Buck, that gave him the connection he’d been seeking through sex.) And then 2. They also use it as an opportunity to SPECIFICALLY, IN CANON, say that it’s what you do that makes you attractive, and that makes you a hero, not how you look. Which is just!!! A crazy message!!! Especially considering they follow through on it, particularly in the areas where the women are concerned!
And in regards to 2x01, it’s soooooo fucking interesting to me that the ONLY time we really truly see Eddie shirtless, he’s actually putting clothes ON. They literally do the opposite trope of 'giving the hot male an excuse to take his shirt off'. And sure, they make it a sexy moment, but there's absolutely interesting commentary there about him actively covering himself up at the moment he is most sexualized, and it being taken as a sexy thing. Something about how you don't have to be naked to be attractive, it's about your intent in your actions, rather than your physical body. (Probably me reading too far into it, but again, they COULD have had him striping off his regular shirt, a good few seconds of him shirtless digging through a bag, and THEN the sexy slow mo pulling shirt on. At the very least, when they objectify him there, they make it MUCH shorter than they could have, which is SO DAMN INTERESTING to me).
But then finally, we still do have shirtless scenes! But the fact that it’s Chim who’s shirtless is just SO FASCINATING. Bc THE WAY THEY DO IT - they're never dunking Chim in a lake, or having something spilled on him, like other shows would do, to get his shirt clinging to him and him to whip it off in a spray of water or whatever. It's in scenes where it makes sense for him to be shirtless, and its NEVER treated like a big deal. It's just Chim, in his body, comfortably living his life. So I think the way they do it gives him more respect than other shows give their male characters, let alone their female characters 💀
And it's SO interesting to me that they use Chim (I mean, besides the fact that K.C. clearly has muscles for days and wow of course you'd use Chim). But I just think - on any other show, it would absolutely be Buck who we see casually shirtless. And that WAS almost this show, which is why we saw him shirtless at all. But failing that, it should have been Eddie. And then of course, after Eddie, it should be Bobby. I mean, plenty of other shows go for the 'sexy middle-aged white man' (cough cough LS) so Bobby would be the next logical step in the "who are we gonna make our hot man?" ladder, also - P.K. has BICEPS THAT COULD CRUSH ME so I would not blame them for making him the hot one.
But - like I said in my tags on my original post - I'm always thinking about Chim's story in 2x01 with the calendar, and feeling like he never gets to be the hero (WHICH I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT HOW BEING THE HERO IS EQUATED THERE TO BEING THE HOT ONE, SO LIKE, CHIM BEING SHIRTLESS, SUBTLE REINFORCEMENT OF HIM BEING A HERO!) I love that for him, being the truly hot one on the team. And then you throw in his story from 2x04, and feeling like his life wasn't going anywhere and seeing him now, comfortable in his body and his life and being happy??
I wish no one had to be objectified and shirtless but I know this is broadcast tv, and honestly, the choice for it to be Chim, with his story and his background, in itself is I think a choice that makes me happy.
Of course, the show is nowhere near perfect, and I’d argue that it’s one of the areas they fall shortest in. Buck sleeping w his therapist would never have happened for a woman on this show, and it CERTAINLY wouldn’t have been brushed off again as a joke like it was in s3. And it really bothered me in 4x07 when the lady slapped Eddie’s ass, esp since he was clearly uncomfortable with it. I’d actually really enjoy seeing them write a plot for one of the men that addresses them feeling oversexualized as firefighters, and how people seem to think they have permission since the men are all public employees, bc I think the show could do it really well, and I think it’s an area that hasn’t been addressed on other shows recently (plus lbr I know I’m biased but I think OG would do it better if it has been done…)
So idk. I don’t know if I have a solid conclusion here. The show does SUCH a good job with the women, and a solidly less good job with the men - but I also see some really interesting choices at work that I really respect.
Thanks for the opportunity May, sorry if there was no coherent thread to this. 😂🤷♀️
#911 fox#asked and answered#evan buckley#eddie diaz#chimney han#the one area re:the men I think they do super super well in#is the fact that none of them experience or act w any sort of toxic masculinity#we’ve seen all of them cry MULTIPLE times#and they’re comfortable being vulnerable w both men and women#and none of their personalities are built are ‘hello I am a MAN’#which I really really like and enjoy
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This Week in BL
April 2021 Part 1
Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.
Ongoing Series - Thai
Second Chance Ep 1 - living up to its name since it looks to be a series of redemption arcs. Launched with a college confession and a broken friendship, then a flash back to them as seniors in high school. Pairings include friends to lovers, nerd/jock, and maybe cafe boss/employee. There’s a lot going on, but it’s still... quiet and sweet. The script is pretty pat but it’s still WAY more watchable than Cupid Coach or Brothers and most of the acting is solid. Ep 1 tropes included: he’s in engineering, wound tending, fast & bicurious. This could turn into what I wanted My Gear & Your Gown to be. Fingers crossed.
Love Poison 2 Ep 1 & 2 turns out I did watch and report on season 1 (8 eps), season 2 seems equally unmemorable. Thai countryside setting, strong dialect, incomprehensible plot, camp side characters, and ghastly singing.
Y-Destiny Ep 1 (eng subs?) - opened with the sports romance enemies to lovers (they aren’t going in the teaser order). When the couple got over fighting, the flirting was v cute, but the flipping SPONGE BATH trope had to rear its ugly head. Still, this series is shaping up to be less coy and more frank than most BL, better than expected. It feels, I don’t know, gay-er or something?
*** Sources were correct that each couple is getting (at least) 2 eps, and MDL has been updated to say this is a 15 episode series (not 7).
Cupid Coach 12 fin - The new Nite was great and should have been a main all along. It felt like we got a tiny nugget of what could have been in about 10 minutes worth of this last ep. It was way too slow with terrible editing and a criminally bad script, but at least it ended happy. Mostly, like Friend Forever, I’m just disappointed that these two actors were done dirty by the series. Bad Cupid Coach, no screen caps for you.
Lovely Writer Ep 6 - breaking news, there’s a het couple I like: toppy bi femme + soft boi = such a good pairing! I know, but this NEVER happens. Meanwhile, Sib’s secret is out, Gene is a bit of a drama queen, and the plot thickens. We half way through.
Brothers Ep 9 - Kaow had a serious moment of advice giving that was truly lovely. Lots of family dama made this a superior episode to... well... any of the others in this series. Which isn’t saying much.
1000 Stars Ep 10 fin - at the start this series didn’t grab me the way GMMTV’s last BL, Tonhon Chonlatee, did. But boy did it end 1000x better. Might have given us 2021′s best forehead kiss. I enjoyed the ultra romantic cliff-top reunion kiss, and I LOVED the stinger flirting scene. That was an absolute gift we had no right to expect. This drama is a poster child for finishing on a high note (always focus on that dessert course).
Final thoughts? This was FAR more a classic romance than it was BL. There were some BL tropes used but not many and most of them originated in the romance genre not yaoi. A picture perfect ending bumped 1000 Stars much higher up my best-of list than expected. Not sure how often I’ll rewatch it as a whole, but this last episode? I’m probably rewatching it right now.
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Dear Uranus (Taiwan GL) Ep 3 fin - I guess that’s it? Okaaaaay
HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 3 (AKA Ep 5-6) - we got actual legit gay culture not just BL (always appreciated) from XingSi. I’m starting to find LiCheng’s “show them we fucking” hijinks hilarious rather than annoying (not sure why, maybe I just love a rubber chicken, or maybe it was the STUFFED CORN WITH THE TASSEL that did it).
-- H4 Moment of RANT --
Tropes included beach trip, there’s only one bed, cook for him, baby is a floppy drunk, carry baby to bed, and.... drunk non-con. Whoopdedoo. Here we go again. Did TharnType teach us NOTHING? (Apparently it taught us if the chemistry is good enough, I have no morals at all.) At least H4 seems to be taking us out of cheese into serious when it comes to assault. Or is it?
I take back what I said last week about XingSi & YongJie being codependency + salvation trope, that only works if YongJie is the uke. He’s NOT. So we got us an obsessive predatory villain with a possible redemption arc. That’s more common in crime dramas, mafia romance, and epic fantasy than BL. It’s real hard to redeem a sexual predator in a reality-grounded universe like contemporary romance (See Kla in LBC1&2).
Next week is gonna be a test of the whole damn franchise. Imma remind both me a you that this was ep 3 of 10 so we got a ways to go yet... but ooof, what have we wrought, BL? (I ended up doing a whole post about the stepbrother trope because of this sub plot.) Taiwan is killing me.
-- RANT ended --
Word of Honor (China) Ep 19-21 - over half way point so we got ALL the back story (in a classic 4 act story structure midway reveal). Now we know who WKX really is and his lineage. We also got some cute hugs and hand holds. Moving along at a nice clip despite being 36 eps total. Still gayest thing to come out of we-not-gay China since Advance Bravely.
Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 2 - takes them a while to get eng subs together and ep 2 didn’t drop until late. So I’m putting this in a Thurs time slot going forward. Miscommunication already cleared up and a 2nd couple has been introduced. The pacing on these Vietnamese BLs is always a bit... off. But it’s still better than most of its ilk, enjoyable. I’m thinking it’s a 6 ep arc.
We Best Love 2 (Taiwan) Ep 5 - after the initial drama DRAMA of ep 2, the current external crisis at work is much quieter, giving this whole season a top heavy feel. Taken along side the first season, I think it’s fitting nicely into a 4 act structure, but that might be my bias. I hope I’m not wrong, we’ll find out next week. Shi De puttering about being domestic with Shu Yi on his back was the best execution of the piggyback trope EVER. Meanwhile, our little D/s side couple of codependency, salvation trope + mental illness is becoming weirdly appealing. I don’t know. H4 done mess with my head.
Stand Alones
Absolute BL AKA Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko (Japan) Ep 1-4 mini series. Found subs under A Man Who Defies The World of BL. IT’S HILARIOUS. It’s Japan making fun of us, but also itself for having started this whole BL nonsense - from yaoi roots to present day. It’s parody goddamn gold. Utterly cheeky unto the very last line. We are not worthy.
Apparently the most powerful tropes of all time are: baby is a floppy drunk and the piggyback fo nobility. Oh and chocolate. {Full review here.}
Honestly, this show may have been made with only @heretherebedork and I in mind. I don’t know if you’d even understand half of it if you don’t have a history with the manga source genre and an obsessive interest in underlying narrative devices. I haven’t seen much chatter in the blog’o’sphere on this one because, in the end, it’s not a romance at all, it’s social commentary.
The ending line was a masterclass in lampooning a genre. I’m going to rewatch the whole thing just to catch all the digs I missed first time around. It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.
Thank you Japan. I forgive you all your hair-styling sins of the last decade.
Breaking News
Spring Line Up:
Scholar Ryu’s Wedding Ceremony AKA Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korean historical BL) April 15th
Close Friend the series (Thai trailer) April 22.
2gether the movie (Thai trailer) April 22 to Thai theaters.
Nitiman (Thai) May 7 on One31.
I Told Sunset About You 2 (Thai) May 27 on LineTV
Ossan’s Love (Hong Kong) June to Viu
Gossip
Bad Buddies released its first promo op via Arm Share, which means GMMTV is at least *thinking* about filming it.
Fun behind the scenes gossip sesh with eng subs for Tell the World I Love You (that Perth Bas movie we are maybe getting someday but will likely be sad).
New Thai BL Bite Me (adapted from novel Grab a Bite) dropped a teaser. It stars Mark Siwat (Kla in LBC) as uke character Ake, a delivery boy with special foodie powers, and chef Eua (seme played by Zung Kidakorn) who discovers him. It’s from the same author as Manner of Death so we might even get some actual plot. Since it’s an established BL actor who I happen LOVE, a known author, and a plot about FOOD, I could not me more excited for this one.
Next Week Looks Like This:
Some shows may be listed a day later than actual air date for accessibility reasons. Some are dropping multiples at a time but just started so I’m not sure on numbering.
Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.
Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.
#second chance the series#y-destiny#lovely writer#brothers the series#cupid coach the series#1000 stars#a tale of thousand stars#final episodes#episode recaps#thai bl#asian bl#thaibl#The Most Peaceful Place is My Place#NƠI BÌNH YÊN NHẤT LÀ VỀ BÊN EM#vietnamese bl#vietnam drama#Absolute BL#Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai vs Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko#japanese bl#yaoi#yaoi manga#live action manga#live action yaoi#Word of Honor#chinese bl#asianbl#We Best Love#We Best Love: Fighting Mr.2nd#taiwanese bl#taiwan drama
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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT TECHNOBLADE (or A Narrative Analysis of the Dream SMP Doomsday Event) - Script
Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).
There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.
Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! I am planning on doing a big dumb, way too long analysis video on the Dream SMP which will – at my current pace – come out in five years. I am already way too late on this one.
Spoiler Alert for the Doomsday Event that took place on the 6th of January in the Dream SMP. Surely the worst thing to take place on the 6th of January 2021 … I’m sorry, what’s this about the Capitol?
In case you don’t watch the SMP and need context: The Dream SMP is a Minecraft Multiplayer Server, that, throughout the last year, has transformed from a normal Let’s Play to an ongoing new-media series streamed by multiple high-profile streamers such as Dream, TommyInnit or Technoblade. It comes complete with script – by which I mean loose bullet points – and story events. It has attracted a large fanbase specifically invested in the story and less so in the actual gameplay content. Like I said before, I will probably do a big video on the Dream SMP at some point in the future.
The storyline is long and complicated and trying to explain it all would take up the majority of the video and there are other channels who have already done a much better job than I could ever hope to do, so give them a watch. I’ll try to summarize all that is pertinent to what I will talk about in this video.
Okay, let’s speedrun this summary. Cue the music!
Major Players here are TommyInnit, a founder of the independent nation of L’Manburg, Technoblade, an anarchist who was deep in conflict with L’Manburg, Tubbo, Tommy’s best friend and current president of L’Manburg, and Dream, the ruler of the Kingdom of the Dream SMP (even though he is not the king, but we’re not going to get into that right now). Tommy had in the past been exiled by Tubbo for endangering L’Manburg’s shaky peace with the Dream SMP. Tommy had then teamed up with Technoblade, who was hellbent on destroying L’Manberg after some prior altercations – more on that later.
Tommy and Tubbo came into conflict during a festival set-up to celebrate the friendship between L’Manburg and the Dream SMP. After punching out their feelings, Tommy came to the realization that his friendship with Tubbo was more important than his vendetta against Dream and those who exiled him. Techno took that change of heart badly and teamed up with Dream to destroy L’Manburg … and that’s exactly what happened.
Techno and Dream, with little to no opposition, obliterated L’Manburg with no hope for recovery leaving its inhabitants stranded hopeless and alone.
… And that’s what you missed on Dream SMP!
Okay. So, usually I just put whatever thought slime drips out of my mouth hole into your subscription box. But then I asked myself: “Am I not taking this a largely improvised nonsense story from a bunch of 16–24-year-olds a little too seriously?”. And then I remembered. I’m a pretentious bitch. I made an 18-minute video explaining why the popular commentary YouTuber memeulous is secretly the time travelling Anti-Christ, REASON HAS NO SWAY OVER ME!
So, like the English Major drop-out that I am, I will present you with two theses, which I will then combine into one … supratheses! That word doesn’t exist, I just coined it, it’s mine! I am very smart!
[I know words, I have the best words!]
Thesis #1: The Fandom focuses too much on Character Analysis in Favour of Narrative Analysis
The Dream SMP is truly something special. It is uniquely singular in how it tells a story of this scope through its chosen medium. While there is an overarching script that lays out the plot points of the future, each of the 30+ streamers on the SMP are their own cameraman, director, writer and actor. You cannot watch “the Dream SMP” – if you attempted that, you would be 80 by the time you caught up to the Doomsday Event. You have to choose whom to watch. You have to choose your focal point character.
Because by the way the story is told and consumed – aka in such a compartmentalized fashion; you watch one streamer and get one character’s perspective – it has sort-of unintentionally conditioned fans to look at the SMP and its characters less as one coherent story with messages and themes and more as sports teams they can root for. You’re Team Techno or Team Tubbo or Team Tommy or Team JackManifoldTV (formerly known as Thunder1408) and every other side is in the wrong! It’s like Twilight for a decade old children’s game about virtual Lego!
Okay, I’m exaggerating, but the amount of discourse perpetuated by and revolving around so-called “apologists” – a terrible term that unfortunately has caught on – is really not something that I think is good for how we interact with the story of the Dream SMP.
The Dream SMP is discussed a lot on character-based level, which is, like I said before, hugely advantaged by the way the story is consumed by its audience. With traditional, visual media such as film for example, the audience can be made more aware of what messages the narrative might try to communicate on a narrative level without the need for an explicit narrator to tell you the moral.
As an example, in a movie you could have a smash-cut from the Butcher Army’s discussions about neutralizing the danger Technoblade poses to Techno being nice around villagers or taking care of animals. This would communicate on an extradiegetic level, that the Butcher Army is in the wrong with their assumptions. Alternatively, you could contrast Techno’s declarations that power corrupts and that Tubbo’s administration is cruel with Tubbo choosing not to punish Ranboo for his association with Techno – thus the narrative would communicate that Techno’s view of Tubbo and by extension the government is one-sided and not true to reality.
Stuff like that helps the viewer understanding a story holistically and manages to communicate stuff like themes and morals without having to solely rely on in-character logic and argumentation, which, as Ghostbur put it so eloquently, is comprised of a bunch of unreliable narrators.
Character analysis is great if we want dive deep, if we really want to give a character flavour and understand their motivations. It helps make the universe feel like it is alive, like it’s real. But – and this might be a shocker for you – it’s not real. It’s written. It is construction – and as such, in its construction, it has messages and themes and morals, intentionally or unintentionally.
By being so focused on specific characters and their individual journeys, viewpoints and motivation we really run the risk of not looking at the bigger picture and fail to see what the overarching narrative is actually communicating. And we may also fail to understand how characters might or might not fit into the overarching narrative.
Speaking of which …
Thesis #2: Technoblade experiences very little Meaningfultm Thematic Conflict
Okay, let’s talk about Technoblade. I’m sure I’m not going to get any hate for this one.
I want to preface by saying that I don’t watch Technoblade’s streams; I catch up though clip channels and summaries. I’m mainly watching Tommy, Tubbo and Quackity – which is honestly already more than I can handle – but I want to be clear that while I’ll try to be as even-handed as possible – like I explained previously – the way I consumed the storylines will undoubtedly leave me with some bias.
Also, needless to say, I’m talking about the character Technoblade, not the actual content creator, unless I specifically say so. That should be obvious.
Now, I’m not doing a Technoblade character analysis, because that would be hypocritical of me – seeing how I just bitched about the overwhelming amounts of character analyses in the fandom – but I’ll try my best to summarize what is necessary.
Technoblade’s interesting in that he is a very static character – at least inwardly – he doesn’t change much. He is very steadfast in his beliefs and ideals and has very little introspection. He doesn’t question himself; he doesn’t waver, he is never in a bind about whether what he’s doing is right or wrong. He is very much a parallel to early TommyInnit – who, of course, famously said “I’m always in the right”.
And I want to emphasize that I mean this in no way as a critique of Techno’s character. A static character provides a nice contrast to more dynamic characters and can balance them out. It can also be utilised by the writing as a character flaw – which is what I hope content creator Techno is going for.
Like Techno doesn’t have a lot of empathy in the sense that he is particularly skilled at or interested in trying to see the viewpoints of others. There is never an attempt to reconcile, for example, the goal of the Pogtopians to reclaim L’Manberg and install another administration with his desire for an anarchist society. This is also compounded with his overreliance on violence as the only tactic for conflict resolution – Techno has a whole thesis statement about violence being the only universal language. I’m sure you’ve heard the quote.
And lastly, what really drives this all over the edge, is his all-or-nothing approach when dealing with the enemy – he is not so much eye for an eye as he is – to use another biblical example – you make fun of me for being bald and I’ll sic two bears on you that maul and kill you and 41 other children.
There’s also the open and completely unacknowledged hypocrisy of a self-described anarchist working together with a man that installs and dethrones Kings with his every whim – someone who – and I cannot stress this enough – hits about every box when it comes to the definition of tyrant.
So, what I’m saying is that Technoblade is the Dream SMP equivalent of Dick Chenney. C’mon you know it’s true! He will bomb that freedom into your country whether you want him to or not. That’s some cogent political commentary in the year 2021.
Okay, so now that I’ve outlined his character, what kind of conflicts does Technoblade face. Well, it’s mostly physical or external. He fights a lot whether it’s against Quackity or Sapnap or bodying Karl Jacobs five times in a row. And – with the exception of maybe Sapnap – none of it is challenging. Technoblade is the best PvP-Player on the server – there really isn’t much tension to be had from a purely physical fight.
So, how are these fights supplemented emotionally. Well, internally there is not a lot going on. As I said before, Technoblade isn’t really an introspective character. Even during his shouting match with Tommy there’s not a sense that Technoblade is wavering or unsure of himself in the way that Tommy is. He exposits that one of the reasons, he acts like he does is that he feels dehumanized; that people only use him like a weapon and then discard or even try to neutralize him once he’s no longer useful.
But that is not something that Technoblade has to grapple with – it’s not conflict for him, it’s more conflict for Tommy. Technoblade is self-assured in that he’s a person and not a weapon – it’s almost like there was a character arc there, where Technoblade self-actualizes and breaks away from the people that want to use him. But we didn’t see any of it. Technoblade unleashes the withers; then he goes into retirement because he wants to be, I suppose, and then he returns to violence as a reaction to the Butcher Army. There is a story of vengeance here, but not any conflict about being used. There is never a point where we see Technoblade come to this realization or comes to assert himself.
In season 1 there’s never a push from Pogtopia where the narrative frames them as exploiting Technoblade. He fights with them of his own volition, he gives them weapons and armour of his own volition. Nobody pressured Techno into procuring their inventory for the fight. And in Season 2, he’s the one to approach Tommy about their potential partnership – he is in the position of power here, explicitly not Tommy.
Like, I’m sorry, if this ruffles some feathers, but I really don’t see this arc where Technoblade is being used. There’s a story of misunderstanding and maybe co-dependency – but not of dehumanization. This entire line of thought seems to solely reference that moment, where Tommy says to Sapnap “I have the blade” during one of their wars – which, to base an entire emotional arc around that without any further set-up, is, and I’m sorry to say that, incredibly flimsy.
Okay, so we covered physical and emotional conflict? But what about conflict on the narrative level? Well, that leads me to my suprathesis …
Suprathesis: The Narrative is Unclear on how it treats Technoblade … and that’s Not Good.
Here’s a Hot Take: The narrative of Season 1 treats Technoblade way less sympathetically than that of season 2.
Let me explain. The narrative of Season 1 revolves mostly around Wilbur and Tommy. The emotional fulcrum of the overall narrative is Wilbur’s rise and fall from Grace – and Tommy succeeding him as symbol of L’Manberg’s “special”-ness. Now I will talk about all that more in detail, when I talk about Season 1 of the Dream SMP. So, you’ll just have to go with me on this one for now.
Technoblade, by contrast, doesn’t really have much going on thematically in Season 1. He mostly exists as a sort-of utilitarian character – he is an accessory to make story beats happen. Like him executing Tubbo doesn’t open up any sort of thematic conflict involving him – on a character level it sets up antipathy between him and Tommy and it grants us some insight into how he operates with his violence speech – but on a larger-scale narrative level it really just shows how far Wilbur and Tommy have drifted apart in how they react to the event.
His biggest contribution is during the Season 1 finale, but even there he plays second fiddle to Wilbur. Not just because Wilbur does way more destruction with his explosion than Techno does with his Withers, but also because Wilbur had an emotional and thematic climax to his arc and by extension the entire storyline. Like Techno’s is a cool moment and very epic visual but in terms of thematic relevance, his Theseus-speech is really more set-up for Season 2.
And Season 1 is very unambiguous about L’Manberg being good and Tommy’s ideals ultimately being morally justified – I mean, they have a whole speech about it in the end and it was built-up throughout the entire Season – Techno is cast in a … less than sympathetic light. He is, if not a villain, then definitely an antagonist.
But with Season 2 the narrative is either uninterested in or not very clear on exploring Technoblade’s flaws.
Like ask yourselves: is Technoblade’s character ever consciously challenged by the narrative? Are his actions ultimately shown to not be in the right? Are his beliefs about government and power ever called into question? Are the negative consequences that his actions cause ever shown to be larger than the “good” he does?
I think what exemplifies this the most is how the Butcher Army event played out on December 16th. Now, during that event, the Butcher Army, which was comprised of Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy and Ranboo, managed to apprehend Technoblade, who at that point was living the quiet retirement life, and tried to have him publicly executed – without trial.
Now, smarter people than me have pointed out that the Butcher Army had a bevy of in-character reasons that can justify or explain their actions. And that’s definitely interesting, but as I said before, I want to get away from that and look into how the Butcher Army is treated on a narrative level. Because this is one of the few instances where the otherwise grey-loving Season 2 has some very clear narrative intent when it comes to morality.
The Butcher Army is very deliberately framed as almost cartoonishly corrupt and violent. They very forcefully investigate Philza, mock him and then put him under house arrest – and there’s just no remorse in the script even from normally sympathetic characters like Tubbo.
Compare and contrast with the Tommy-exile scene, which is also an act of moral ambiguity and is treated as such. And things get even worse once the Army arrives at Technoblade’s abode and attack him after he softly tells them that he has left that live behind him. They then proceed to take his horse hostage, mock him and execute him without fair trial – and I haven’t seen it but from live commentary I gathered that Techno really played up the whole softie-schtick before the Butcher Army arrived. I mean, before the big Technoblade vs Quackity fight, Quackity had whole villain monologue for Christ’s sake.
And even afterwards, the Butcher Army really plays up the corrupt angle with Tubbo proposing a festival as a guise to publicly execute someone. And again, I know that on an intradiegetic there’s nuances and it’s not really comparable to the Red Festival, but in combination with what the audience has seen up until that point and with how much it feeds into the already established themes of history repeating itself and becoming like your predecessors, it really does not paint a pretty picture of the Tubbo administration.
You can feel the heavy hand of the script on your shoulder, which is a feat seeing how – as discussed before – that’s not something that can be easily accomplished in this medium.
And that is what I mean when I say that Technoblade is not really challenged by the script and is in this case even emboldened by it. Because after this whole ordeal the thought of Technoblade taking revenge by destroying L’Manberg doesn’t seem like such an extreme response to the viewer – even though in my opinion, it is.
As of right now it is too early to say how the narrative will judge Technoblade’s actions in the future. Will they be framed as extreme but ultimately justified or perpetuating a cycle of ever-escalating vengeance? Will we ever see a government that’s not just at best misguided and at worst completely awful?
Ultimately, I believe and hope that Technoblade will be challenged by the narrative, mostly because a character that cannot, believably, be physically challenged, who doesn’t have any meaningful internal conflict about what he’s doing; and who does come out on the other side having everything he always believed in be proven completely in the right by the narrative, would be incredibly boring. Not just to watch but also to play as.
As it stands now, if the destruction Techno, Phil and Dream inflicted upon L’Manburg is framed as ultimately in the right, I would find it personally a distasteful message to send. I would ultimately say that the “correct” way to counter corruption in government is to completely obliterate the entire country. Like we’re not talking simply disbanding the government – that’s not what Doomsday was – we’re talking complete and utter annihilation. And that would be cynical and depressing. Like, call me a big softie, but even bothsidesing this argument would be bad.
Like, I’m not calling for Technoblade to be transformed into or treated a monster like Dream. But I personally feel like the narrative needs to acknowledge that the Doomsday was something that was taken way too far and that it ultimately brought more harm than good. And Technoblade needs to held accountable by someone who is not a cartoonishly corrupt government-official or who is in conflict with him anyway, like Tommy.
I thought Philza or Ranboo could do that but seeing how their storylines are progressing I don’t believe that will be the case. But who knows, maybe Captain Puffy will come through for us. We stan a Queen.
Conclusion
So, yeah, I made this entire video just to air out my grievances with how one-sided the mode of analysis is in the fandom, because no person actually involved with the production of Dream SMP will ever see this.
But after everything I am cautiously optimistic, that content creator Technoblade knows what he’s doing. He has talked in the past about how his character is a bad guy and he loves his Greek myths. After all what’s more Greek myth than hybris being rewarded with punishment? [Technoblade never dies] That bodes well for him.
Also, this isn’t the video I promised at the end of the last one!
#dream smp#dsmp analysis#dsmpblr#dreamsmp#c!technoblade critical#dream smp analysis#dsmp#dream smp doomsday#dream smp season 2#l'manberg#l'manburg#lmanberg#lmanburg#tubbo#dsmp tubbo#quackity#dsmp quackity#butcher army#tommyinnit#dsmp tommyinnit#dream#dreamwastaken#dsmp dream#dsmp tommy#lucem ferto scripts
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ID: A 3 by 4 tiled square, with each tile containing an artwork I've created in the year 2021. Each artwork is labelled with the month it was made in.
I've decided even if tumblr is shadowbanning all new posts from their tags that I'm just going to post it and re-reblog a few times anyway.
My commentary, for anyone interested:
January: I straight-up spent most of a month working on this drawing alone. I'm still pretty proud of the general vibes and how it came out in the end, but I learned that I should really, really work on composition. A lot of working with this one was figuring out how the figures would balance with each other, the fire, and the trees. It still turned out well, but I could've spent a lot less time working on it if it weren't for that.
February: I also drew some rwby that month (it seems so long since we've gotten any new RWBY episodes which isn't a knock on the crew, but a knock on the passage of time), but I decided to drop my picture of Voe here. I feel like I need to use Luke's Jedi Temple Grounds as a background at least once a year, and also, Voe! Fun fact: the twitter crop cut off right at where the water begins in the slightly uncensored version, hence the hastily-added bandeau to make it clear that it wasn't a blatantly nsfw art.
March: I was feeling stagnant about my art (when am I not, recently?) so I did a screenshot redraw again, and though it was loose and sketchy, I really enjoyed the vibes of this one—I think it was the catalyst that pushed me into finally buying a new paint program that was a bit beefier than medibang paint. The reception on this one was also fantastic compared to the usual Eighth Brother art, so I think people just like screenshot redraws haha.
April: Pyreny!!!! I've been shipping this pretty much since Pyre and Tierny glanced in each other's directions on Star Wars: Resistance, so I decided to finally put a piece of finished art to it. I really love how this one came out, and it might even be my favorite of the year. Once again, composition is key, and I was worried I had too much negative space in the bg, but the window took care of that. Also, this is one of the first times I've done a full interior background and I really love how it turned out. Also, Sumalee Montano thought it was cool, which is a pretty big plus and ego boost.
May: Is it really a year if I don't do something for a long-dead fandom? Anyway, it was nice to take a crack at John and Christopher again and some good old fashioned repressed gay romance.
June: This was a fun art month for me—work was less busy and I had inspiration in spades since I'd just gotten a new paint program. There are a few solid contenders from this month, but the vibes of this one could not be beat. Also, it's nice to draw something for inquisitors who get less attention. Also, I'd forgotten how proportions worked for this and the next month? References were my lifeline.
July: This one's simple (save the anatomy and perspective practice) but I like it and it looks like other people liked it too.
August: I threw this together for Remembering Resistance week in about a day since I had no inspiration up until that point. The proportions are sort of wack, but it turned out cute and okay all things considered. I have to throw this one in as an honorable mention, but I really did not want three inquisitor ones in a row, so.
September: Sometimes you just want to draw your ship kissing but not spend an entire month on it. Also, I remember about once a year that I enjoy two-toned art so this was fun. Once again, the effort piece of the month was an inquisitor but five in a row would've been ridiculous, so pyreny it is.
October: This is where the year got busy, and time (and inspiration) to draw was a precious thing. I really enjoy this one though, so I'm glad that I got to draw one good thing that month. This was the year of referencing poses, and I think that this one produced a quality product. Also, fun fact. I've drawn Eighth many times, but his armor is still a pain in the ass every time you try to draw it from a new position.
November: This month was rough, buddy, but at least I drew Luke's Jedi.
December: Also a rough month. Low on art inspiration, and though I've done a few sketches, no finished product. This one that I've posted is the closest I've gotten, and it's a bit of a self-indulgent sketch, so no post here.
Ultimately,
the end goal for 2022 is to dedicate more time for/have more time to do art. Have more inspiration. If my motivation isn't to draw fanart, to draw original stuff. To branch out. To work on my linework. To draw more ocs. To draw more star wars. To draw more stuff that's not star wars. I just want to draw.
#art summary 2021#art summary#apparently tumblr is banning the longe poste tag so apologies if the readmore doesn't work for you#CTartcase
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Deck the Hauls - ‘Tis the Season Runners-Up
As mentioned in the winners post, competition was fierce, and several cards got swapped on and off the podium as I wrote commentary. However, @hiygamer, @hypexion, and @nine-effing-hells should be very proud of their entries this week. Let’s get into it!
Maelstrom Tribute - @hiygamer
Very rarely is the first submission of the week one of the strongest, but alas, here we are. I vaguely recall seeing an earlier version of this card with some much more unwieldy flavor text, and I’m glad you changed it, because this scans so much better. It’s very obviously placed on Alara, and the implications are very interesting. So the maelstrom needs maintenance of some sort, and the folks of Alara have turned it into a holiday? And they choose champions to… give up their magic? That part is a little unclear to me, but you know what, I like it that way. As a standalone card, this would encourage me to scour the rest of the set for clues, or go hunt down the online story to see what happens. That’s exactly what I wanted from this contest. The effect is nothing super splashy, but it fits really nicely as a cross-shard celebratory effect, one that gets stronger if you have a representative from each shard (or just one five-color creature to do everyone’s job, I guess). It’s a very good card, and probably should have been a winner, but it was just up against some very stiff competition.
Effigy of Yawgmoth - @hypexion
You know, I’m honestly surprised that we haven’t seen more effigy-inspired cards in Magic. It seems like a very easy way to combine real-world holiday rituals with spooky arcane magic. The Effigy of Yawgmoth is just a solid common, a decent blocker that adds a little more damage when it finally dies. I like how it alludes to Yawgmoth, who had a whole identity relating to life loss and payment, but I find there’s just a small disconnect in the flavor, where people celebrate the destruction of the effigy. Is the life loss supposed to be a good thing? I think if it turned into a drain effect, it would come off a bit more clearly, but that might just be a me problem. The flavor text is also a bit long, but ends on a bang. I honestly think you could’ve shortened it to just mention the Legacy Celebration, and then ended with the last sentence. Nitpicks aside, this is a very solid draft chaff common, one that would find a home in a lot of limited decks.
Xenagalia - @nine-effing-hells
This is a very fun card. It has a lot of strong modes, but they’re tempered by the fact that it’s a 6 mana enchantment, and by the fact that you can’t choose which one you get. Making it trigger on ETB as well as upkeep is a solid choice, since a 6-mana investment that makes you wait a whole turn cycle for payoff kina feels bad. The modes also all feel suitably revel-ish, with the impulse draw, the destruction of property, and more folks joining the party. Obviously you’re going to want the land destruction 9 times out of 10, but the fact that you can’t choose it makes it a lot more fair. It also leads to some hilarious (if sucky) moments where you roll the second mode several times in a row, leaving your opponents wondering if they should double check your die. Honestly, my one main nitpick is… you didn’t need flavor text. Sometimes less is more, and I think this is the sole submission this week where I got everything I needed to know from the name alone. The flavor text doesn’t give me any extra information, and it makes the rest of the card look a bit cramped. Without the flavor text, this card honestly probably would have secured a spot as a winner.
And that’s my second contest all wrapped up with a bow! I’ll see y’all sometime soon for commentary.
judge @naban-dean-of-irritation, chilling out
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It may be a long request, but what memorable moments (scenes) for each characters from OddTaxi caught your eyes the most ? (included images as well) It will be interesting to hear it from you, as someone who reviewed each episode of this series.(and was fun to read) I can wait if this take some time to answer back, no need to rush(> ◡ 0) Honestly ,this show is so unique & such an underrated gem!! It's like you said: "DAMN. ODDTAXI WHY YOU SO GOOD"
LOL thanks, I’m flattered that you found my weekly ramblings fun to read ^^; I didn’t intend to review the series though. I was planning to just make a series of minor complaints about an otherwise good story, but... well. It was clear by episode 5 that the writing was deeper than I thought.
Having said that, here are my favorite moments for each characters anyway!
(●'◡'●)
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Taeko-san
Episode 8.
Suddenly acting all cutesy and embarrassed ^^;
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Nagashima
Episode 1.
I was just surprised to find that he’s in the first 5 minutes of episode 1.
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Kabasawa
Episode 9.
DEYM, SON @_@
Maaaaybe focus on catching Dobu? Also what the hell, 10k yen to assist on catching Dobu???
Slow clap. Brilliant, mate.
Episode 9.
I did feel bad for him though. In his pursuit of fame, he’s bitten more than he could chew. This scene stood out to me for a different reason though:
Who apologizes in less than a minute???
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Shibagaki
Episode 6.
It didn’t initially carry much weight, but once you realize he did this to try and remain relevant in the entertainment world, it’s kinda sad. Especially with Baba getting all the attention recently.
Episode 6, ending credits.
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Baba
Episode 6, ending credits.
Contrast to Shibagaki, Baba is experiencing one hell of a high in his career. Can’t entirely blame him for not focusing too much attention on the N-1 contest anymore. This entire exchange with Shibagaki was so memorable because... it just shows how different their careers have become.
Also, just right before this scene, it was shown that
HE’S ACTUALLY DATING NIKAIDO WTF
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Kuroda
Episode 3.
This scene where Kakihana thought Kuroda was talking to him was just hilarious. Not to mention once you hear him speak, you realize...
He’s voiced by this guy.
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Donraku
Episode 1.
This annoyed the hell out of me. I thought this was one of those typical Japanese TV commentary panels. When I wondered if “Don-chan” might be Donraku, I thought of this scene and concluded “Nah, can’t be him. Would you act all calm - let alone appear on TV like that - if your daughter was missing? Nah.”
How wrong I was of course, but this scene has always stuck in my head.
Of course, the president of the agency being in the shot was probably meant as a clue of some sort... But we didn’t know that yet, did we?
Episode 11.
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Kakihana
Episode 5.
This was just so awkward to watch. 🤦♂️
Episode 9.
I still feel bad for him at the end of it all, of course. He just wants to move on and throws the ring away... but he realizes how much it cost. ^^;
(Finally, of course there’s also that scene with Kuroda from earlier)
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Tanaka
Episode 4.
This scene. I’ve ranted about it before already :v
Episode 9.
Does this count? Of course we now know that this was actually Little Daimon, but at the time, I was so annoyed at how overpowered Tanaka was made to be.
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Imai
Episode 8.
Episode 11.
Imai’s love for Mystery Kiss (well, Nikaido) is probably greater than all our love for ODDTAXI combined.
A true man of culture.
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Big Daimon
Episode 1.
DIRTY COP! DIRTY COP RIGHT HERE- *bang* ughh
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Little Daimon
Episode 7.
This was the moment I started considering that Odokawa really has nothing to hide in his closet. It would have been extremely risky for him, considering how straight of a cop (albeit a little naive) Little Daimon is.
Episode 12.
This was a genuinely sad moment for me. Your brother, who you decided to punish evil with, was part of the evil you’ve been trying to punish all along. That’s gotta hurt, man.
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Dobu
Episode 9.
Dobu’s actually quite a nice guy, huh? I mean, yeah, not really, but come on. He did let Kabasawa off with a life lesson instead of a more serious beating.
Episode 10.
Really? :))
Episode 12.
Again, DOBU SHOULD HAVE JUST SHUT UP. “IT’S A SILHOUETTE BRO, THAT’S NOT ME, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.”
Also, I kinda refuse to believe Dobu would use his silhouette for the game. We couldn’t even tell who the hell ditch-11 was but suddenly *poof* it’s Dobu’s silhouette!
I would have preferred if Tanaka’s story of sending a message was true. It would be much more believable. Then Tanaka sends another message to ditch-11 then and there...
And then Dobu’s phone rings. Surprised pikachu face.
Also, Dobu quit playing some time ago but was still Rank 1??? What the hell?
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Yano
Episode 7.
When Yano was introduced, I was amazed that they actually made him rhyme all his lines (or at least introduce some rhythm). Even the translation was keeping up!
Episode 8.
He’s an asshole, but he makes funny faces.
Episode 12.
Funny faces :))
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Sekiguchi
Episode 10.
Sekiguchi provides a very good example of how bad guys can use your social media data. This is practically a PSA.
DON’T POST TOO MUCH PERSONAL INFORMATION ONLINE!!
Episode 11.
I still need an explanation why Nikaido had to do the lifting WHEN SEKIGUCHI, A LITERAL HUGE THUG, IS RIGHT THERE. It’s not like he doesn’t want to get his hands dirty, he’s already filthy AF at the 2nd pic!!
Episode 12.
About to be “arrested”, still worried about Yano’s rhyming. ^^;
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Yamamoto
Episode 2.
Right off the bat, we immediately know that he... has his own share of secrets.
Episode 5.
...But that he also genuinely cares for the girls.
...To some extent, as shown in that entire taxi ride :))
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Ichimura
Episode 3.
“Oh no.”
Obviously, anybody who shows interest in you, Kakihana, after you misrepresent your salary... probably should be red-flagged. Of course, we the viewers immediately know that she’s being tailed by her manager, so we have an idea that she’s being roped into it.
Episode 8.
I can’t even-
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Nikaido
Episode 2.
This Nikaido - she’s seen some things.
Episode 7.
Damn, probably done some things as well! D:
Also, that entire thing where Sekiguchi refused to carry Mitsuya’s body?
Nikaido is strong!!!
Idols are scary, man.
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Mitsuya
Episode 11.
It’s saddening because Mitsuya genuinely wanted to support Nikaido. Had she not gone to the office that night, things would have been much different for all of us.
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Wadagaki
Episode 5.
“Why is she helping Tanaka???” Of course, I thought she was Mitsuya at this point.
Also, she really loves karaage, huh. I wondered if that was a clue, but I guess not. ^^
...It’s not, right..?
Episode 13.
Need I say more about this scene?
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Goriki
Episode 1.
THIS WAS CONFUSING, MAN.
Episode 1.
Also, that entire exchange about cassette tapes and Bruce Springsteen ^^;
“Damn these guys are old” LOL
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Odokawa
Episode 1.
I like how... rude he is :))
Episode 3.
And so done with bullshit :))
Episode 8.
I do remember when he sneezed while taking the photo, in order to hide the shutter sound. Smart :^)
...
Odokawa’s in a weird position because even though he’s the main character, I remember him more for moving the story rather than being a character, if that makes sense. Sorry! >_<
Episode 13.
Of course, there’s the entire sequence of him flying his taxi... But again, that’s more of a nod to the story, not him. If it counts as “memorable scene involving Odokawa”, then there you go! That final sequence was just beautiful to watch. ^^
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AND FINALLY!
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Shirakawa
Episode 2.
Shirakawa’s just a straight-up lovable character. I love that Odokawa can’t handle her XD That entire taxi ride scene was just brilliant.
Episode 2.
And then she tops it all off with that power move with the front camera.
Episode 3.
PLUS SHE CAN DO CAPOEIRA!
Episode 10.
ACTUALLY USABLE-IN-COMBAT CAPOEIRA!
Episode 13.
EVEN UNDERWATER!
Where do I sign up for the Church of Shirakawa???
Shirakawa’s just too damn memorable for me. ^^;
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Goddamn that was the longest ask I’ve ever answered. I hope my answers were at least satisfactory XD
ODDTAXI AOTY!!
(I didn’t realize answering this kind of question would be hard work :’D Compiling screenshots to make a somewhat objective point is surprisingly easier, huh)
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what would you say are the differences between 616 Tony and MCU Tony? 🤔
Hi anon! Many people have talked about this and I'm certainly not the authority on the topic, but I’ll try my best to explain some of the major differences that I have noticed! Thank you for asking and I’m sorry it took me so long to answer you.
Important to note: neither version of Tony has had a totally consistent characterization. Depending on who you ask and which comics/movies they've consumed, they might give you a different answer here and not be wrong.
616 Tony is even harder to put into one box because his character has been around since Tales of Suspense in the 1950s. That’s a long time. Things have changed over time, under different writers, changing political atmospheres, and outside pop culture influence (including influence from the MCU, unfortunately, in recent years.) You get the picture. So I’ll be making some generalizations and try to be clear about which eras I’m speaking when I make these comparisons, but ultimately, if someone wanted to be contrarian, you could probably refute a lot of what I say here if you cherry pick canon. Which is fair enough! That’s sort of the fun of comics, there’s so much to choose from and something for everyone.
So here are some observations from me, under the ‘read more’.
1. Physical Appearance
This is sort of an easy one, but worth mentioning!
MCU Tony does not look like 616 Tony. RDJ is great, but he would not be most 616 fans’ casting choice on looks alone. MCU Tony is tan, a Malibu man, with brown hair and brown eyes, and RDJ has sort of round facial features (a funny sloped nose, big, round eyes, round forehead, not a particularly sharp or classically “superhero masculine” face.) As you may know, this lends well to certain fanworks and tropes, such as Tony having Bambi eyes.
Or Tiny Tony. He is not actually canonically small, but he's smaller in the MCU than in 616 and from what I can tell, a portion of fandom has latched onto that. He’s a grown man, but RDJ is pretty short, and of slighter build than 616 Tony. RDJ is 5′9, but they make him act in heels, and I believe his canon MCU height is 5′11. Another popular trope I’ve seen is shrinking Tony in fanfic/fanart for a dramatized height difference with Steve, making him weak or fragile; this is fine because everyone has their own taste, but for the official record, he’s a capable, strong guy! Especially in earlier stages of the MCU, in which he’s a bit younger. Tony isn’t just a brain; he carries out his plans with his own two hands! He builds his armor, he remodels his lab, he survives hand to hand combat when he doesn’t have the armor. Muscles!
616 Tony is 6′1 without armor and 6′6 in armor (making him taller than his 616 Steve counterpart in armor and very close to the same height out of armor!) 616 Tony is generally paler with black hair (sometimes the classic blue-black I love so much) and blue eyes, and it obviously depends on the artist, but he has a pretty typically ‘masculine’ face and build. Generally he is drawn with a squared jaw and a high bridged nose (such as in the Extremis storyline, or drawn by Marquez), but again, this varies from artist to artist! Here's some examples of 616 Tonys.
Wait, you might be saying, but I have seen comic panels where Tony has brown hair/brown eyes!
Yep. Due to a combination of forgetfulness, inconsistency, and the MCU bleeding into the general consciousness of the comics, sometimes Tony is randomly depicted in the image of RDJ, or if not in his image, at least visually inspired by the MCU-- hair color and style, eye color, dialogue, etc.
616 fans don’t typically love this; he’s very handsome when drawn this way, of course, (look at him!) But it isn’t really the same character.
Also, MCU Tony has (at least for some of his movies) a reactor built into his chest. While 616 Tony has, at times, been more or less physically connected/dependent to his tech, he doesn’t have the built in reactor (most generally speaking, there are times in comics when he temporarily has the tech built in, but this isn’t really the status quo.)
2. Relationship with parents/ family history
While it is definitely implied in the MCU that Howard was not a good father to Tony, (such as in Iron Man 2 when Tony says “You're talking about a man whose happiest day of his life was shipping me off to boarding school” and “He was cold, calculating, never told me he loved me, never even told me he liked me”), Tony has a different sort of attitude toward Howard in MCU than in 616. It’s kind of weird, and hard to discuss. To me, it seems implied that MCU Howard was emotionally abusive to Tony based on what Tony does say about his childhood, and yet, the films kind of randomly give Howard weird moments of “Well, he tried his best and deep down he loved me the whole time!” forgiveness. MCU has a Howard kink and I'm very cringe-face emoji about it.
For example, Iron Man 2 shows that old film reel of Howard talking about how Tony is the greatest thing he ever created, and in Endgame, when Tony goes back in time, he meets Howard and has a very weird interaction with him in which Howard declares he would do anything for his son, (to his deeply damaged son who is a new father himself.) Yet, for all his talk, it's his actions that speak, and his actions left Tony damaged, traumatized, and emotionally inept at forming healthy relationships. So.
Sorry. I’m a little bitter. I'm just uncomfortable with how they sort of set up an abuse history but then treated it kind of lightly and Howard gets off the hook as "well, he tried his best" without really acknowledging the hurt he caused.
Avengers: Endgame 2019
I won't go super in depth into the abuse stuff because it's a little touchy and could take up a lot of this post. But.
I’m not against any reconciliation and I do appreciate the fact that a lot of times, victims of abuse feel a desire to forgive and reconnect with their abuser-- my issue with the MCU depiction of Tony and Howard is that Tony never really gets the vindication of his abuse being recognized for what it was before he forgives Howard. To me, that’s not forgiveness as kind of... gaslighting himself that it wasn't as bad as he remembered his own experience being, because of a sense of nostalgia and grief. It’s not the same, and I have issues with it.
However, a lot of my opinion is based on subtext and it is just my opinion; with depictions of abuse, different people are going to react differently, and other people may have found these scenes touching and gotten something positive out of them, and that's totally fine too!
It’s also a bit difficult to talk about Tony’s relationship with Howard in 616, for a few reasons: shifting timelines, lots of canon that I have not read all of, and the fact that it really is difficult to sum up such a complicated relationship.
Right off the bat, I’ll address the basics. I used the same scene in another ask, and I think it's frequently cited in any meta regarding Howard, but in Iron Man Vol. 1, we see more into Tony’s childhood and see Howard verbally abusing his family, drunk, at the dinner table.
Iron Man Vol. 1 #285
We get this scene with adult Tony’s retrospective commentary on how his own issues that he blamed himself for were actually a cycle starting with his father, the insecurity and abuse and alcohol, and that he realizes how much this has influenced him. Both MCU Tony and 616 Tony have some form of “stop the cycle of shame” arcs, but I don’t really see how this works narratively in the MCU because Tony makes excuses for Howard and continues to blame himself for a lot of his own personal struggles, whereas I think there’s just a bit more nuance in 616.
But uh. This isn’t totally true, and in recent years, things got real weird. I choose to ignore this chapter of canon, but in the Dan Slott run, Tony Stark: Iron Man, Tony’s whole backstory gets imploded. For one thing, the little of Tony’s childhood it shows in a flashback is uh. Uh. Well, it’s certainly out of character compared with previous 616 material, depicting Tony as an overly confident poor sport.
Basically, Tony is adopted. Tony has an evil brother. Tony’s biological parents make an appearance, as do his ‘classic’ parents, Howard and Maria. It’s just weird. It’s kind of out there. I’m honestly not a huge fan of this and ignore a lot of it, but it is certainly a difference between MCU and 616.
3. Personality
I’m going to be very general. Both Tony’s have an outer self which they present to the public and an inner self, but they’re a bit different. Both Tony’s have struggled with self loathing, but I think MCU Tony’s actual self worth is a bit higher, even just at some points in time. Even if his ego is part of his facade, I think he does believe some amount of the “I’m awesome”, even if just when it applies to his own work/inventions/saving people. Not to say that these moments of fluctuating self esteem make him egotistical, but this combined with his egotistical act and snarky, non-stop sassy dialogue, he’s quite different in general personality from 616 Tony, who is much more reserved.
Some more recent iterations of 616 Tony have been adapted to reflect the snark of the MCU, but he’s not so snarky and he tends to approach things more seriously. This is not a dis on MCU Tony; I think MCU Tony uses false ego and excessive sassy jokes as a means to deflect and control, which I think is very interesting and it’s nice to see this explored more in depth in fic where you get to see the thought process behind the bravado. MCU Tony is a partier, a good times guy, especially during Iron Man 2, in which he really does disregard consequences to have fun (driving his race car, partying drunk in his suit, letting pretty girls play with the armor, shooting off repulsor blasts for fun in a crowded room); I’m not bashing MCU Tony-- I think he had psychologically understandable reasons for behaving this way, the man was dying-- but 616 Tony really doesn’t act this way generally, and I think it’s a personality difference more than a difference of one being “better.”
616 Tony handles his stress differently, and they just have different psychological patterns, I think. I’m coming up kind of blank trying to think of a good comparable 616 arc, (sorry, I’m brain dead) but a less-than-perfect example might be Tony’s brain delete arc; he’s “dying”, like in Iron Man 2 he knows his expiration date, (circumstances are quite a bit different), but he throws himself more into work, into a cause, and as he really fall apart, we see him spiral into self doubt, remorse, fear, and insecurity, sort of falling into himself with lots of manly tears and calling himself pathetic.
(Some things happen in this arc that a lot of people find Gross. I also find these events gross. But. I don’t count the sex in “World’s Most Wanted” as partying to cope with personal mortality, because I think both character involved are in “end of the world” mode, and it’s more seeking intimacy for comfort than partying to numb the hurt. Does this distinction make sense? No? Perfect, moving on.) 616 Tony is generally much more humble.
Whereas MCU Tony, I think, tries to outrun those feelings via parties or making dozens of new suits, or seeking comfort by comforting others! Gifting things to people, building things for people, highly personalized individual living quarters, teaching Nebula games and trying to show her a fun time when they were in peril together.
They have some traits in common, for sure! But canon being inconsistent both in the MCU and in 616, my observations aren’t the rule, because I’m kind of cherry picking and going based on limited memory. But off the top of my head, they’re both extravagant gift givers! Recall Tony gifting Pepper the giant bunny in Iron Man 3, and compare this with Tony carrying a mile high pile of Christmas gifts after shopping with Rumiko in Iron Man Vol. #3.
I would say that while both Tony Starks are considered humanitarians, this is much more fleshed out and supported by canon in 616. Some examples of his philanthropy in the MCU: Tony makes charitable donations of art and money, Tony has an organization which provides disaster relief/cleanup which is referenced in Spider-Man Homecoming, Tony has an MIT grant for students and staff members. But to be honest, a lot of his MCU philanthropy is only mentioned in passing, or is largely handled by other people on his behalf and on his dollar.
In 616, we see Tony using charity almost as a means of therapy: it’s something he does very privately, not in the public eye (at least, not always), and it’s something deeply personal to him. One example that immediately comes to mind is Tony’s home for disadvantaged girls in Iron Man Vol. 3, and we see scenes of Tony basically driving the streets at night, picking up underage prostitutes, feeding them and listening to their stories before bringing them to a home he’s established where he knows all the residents, and provides educational opportunities and protection.
Another more recent example in canon that the Tony fandom loves is that Tony canonically holds babies at an orphanage. Sorry I don’t have panels for all of this, this section got long and I have been working on answering this ask in a very scattered way for a very long time.
Both Tony’s are romantics, I literally could write a whole other post about their canon love life similarities and differences, but I will briefly say that while MCU Tony does the long on and off, and eventual ultimate commitment, to Pepper Potts, 616 Tony is a serial monogamist; he is always falling in love, and he’s definitely not a playboy, but the hero-ing, self loathing, and lifestyle make it very hard for him to keep anyone in his life, and most of his partners fuck his life up and betray him. Needless to say, 616 Tony is not married, and certainly not to Pepper Potts.
Oh, and I guess this is so obvious I almost forgot to include it, but a huge similarity between both iterations of Tony is that they both constantly use their own life as a bargaining chip, and will pretty much die for anything. Or be the bad guy for a good reason (at least, in his own mind... see Civil War, or Hickmanvengers; 616 Tony, especially, does not shy away from making the hard decisions, and this leads to a lot of guilt and tension in his relationships-- often with Steve because 616 Steve/Tony angst fans are well fed, I guess)
Remember that time Tony had Steve’s mind wiped because Tony felt that Steve’s inflexible morality might hinder the Illuminati’s ability to save the world? And it eats Tony up inside and erupts into a homicidal fight when Steve finally gets his memory back? Me too.
Tony Stark as a character is defined by sacrifice, both of his own life but also of his own happiness and reputation and conscience, I think, in a lot of ways, and we see this in many universes. I could go on about Tony’s propensity for sacrifice in the less obvious ways, because I think in terms of heroic sacrifice, Tony has done a lot that other heroes wouldn’t be able to do because of moral inflexibility and conflicting philosophical schools of thought; Tony really is the “whatever it takes” type, and often believes the ends justify the means if he deems a threat worse than the potential wrong that could be done in preventing the threat. We see this a little bit in the MCU in the creation of Ultron, and in Civil War with the Accords. But there’s a whole lot more going on there I don’t want to get into.
4. Alcohol
MCU Tony’s alcoholism is never really explicitly explored. He is shown drinking in Iron Man 1, and in Iron Man 2 he drinks a lot and makes a fool of himself publicly, but MCU Tony doesn’t get any specific narrative arc focused on his drinking, and if I recall correctly, I don’t think he ever refers to his drinking as alcoholism in the movies? Also, while his binge drinking and embarrassing behaviors ostensibly stop after the events of Iron Man 2, he is shown drinking on screen at least one other time after that which I can remember, and it wasn’t a “falling off the wagon” moment, and an alcoholic in recovery such as 616 Tony would not take a drink casually. This article sheds a little light on some decisions made about Tony and alcohol in the MCU.
Alcoholism is a huge part of 616 Tony’s personality, which I went a bit more into depth about in this post, so I won’t repeat myself too much.
5. Their relationships with the Iron Man armor
A few points here: MCU Tony is famous for the “I am Iron Man” line being repeated throughout the franchise after he blows his own secret in the end of the first movie. MCU Tony sees himself as one with Iron Man, and the suit is the tech that enables him to be this version of himself. He sees Tony Stark and Iron Man as inextricable: you cannot separate them, and his identity is public. He, as Tony Stark, is an Avenger.
You may remember MCU Tony’s induction into the Avengers; in Iron Man 2, Nick Fury is forming the Avengers and tasks the Black Widow with going undercover to assess Tony to be a part of a hypothetical initiative. “Iron Man yes, Tony Stark no” and the comments about Tony as a narcissist may be funny, but the fact is, the snark and erratic personality of MCU Tony at the time of the formation of the Avengers in the movies is not at all like the Tony of the comics, at the time of the Avengers being formed.
In 616, things are quite a bit different! Tony invents the Iron man armor to save himself (like in the MCU) and uses it for hero-ing, but in secret. He works very hard to protect his identity as Iron Man, and for a long time, as far as the world is concerned, Iron man is a mystery man piloting armor built by Tony, hired as Tony’s personal body guard, (hence the 616 Steve/Tony fandom’s proclivity for identity porn as a trope!) When the Avengers form, Iron Man is the Avenger, close friends with the Avengers, (particularly Steve!) and Tony Stark is just the benefactor of the Avengers, providing them with a place to live and finances with which to operate.
In the very early days, Tony did not have the “reactor” like in the MCU, but his chest plate did keep him alive, leading to some very dramatic shots of Tony charging up using a wall socket, lamenting the plight of a secret hero.
616 Tony, generally, and especially in some of these earlier comics, was quite reserved, rather serious, and very angsty, (in private of course.) He may be wealthy, but speaking generally, he’s much less ostentatious than MCU Tony, less of a show off, less into flashy things and grand gestures. Of course, this isn’t always true in the comics, and some iterations of Tony are more like this than others, but MCU Tony is showier, sillier, and more of a fun-times guy. Any MCU fan would find those panels quite contrary to the Tony Stark you know:
Iron Man 1
Iron Man 2
I think I would say that while MCU Tony sees himself and the Iron Man identity and the armor as all being inextricably connected, we see a bit more compartmentalization with 616 Tony, who pretends that the armor is a whole separate person for years when his identity was private, and we see instances in older and newer comics, in which Tony is uncomfortable with some aspect of himself as Iron Man (for instance, during the second drinking arc, Tony temporarily swears off being Iron Man entirely, or for another example, when Tony is in a comma and Tony AI exists during Secret Empire, Tony “lives” in the Iron Man suit, and I think this could be interpreted as a meta parallel to Steve during this arc; Steve has had some core aspect of his character inverted, Captain America becoming Captain Hydra, so Tony experiences a similar inversion-- Tony Stark and Iron Man are forcibly merged, in a way that Tony seems deeply uncomfortable with, if his digital drinking relapse is any indication. But I digress; sorry for the tangent.)
Okay this post is inexcusable long, and very, very tangential, and I don’t feel like I’ve really covered everything I wanted to. But it has been sitting in my inbox for too long and if I don’t post it now I never will, so I hope this long, rambling thing has been a little bit helpful to you! Thank you so much for asking, I had a lot of fun rambling about this.
If you want to read a similar post, but well written and organized, with other insights, this post by Sineala answers a similar question!
#Anonymous#han reads comics#han meta#meta#iron man#tony stark#616 tony stark#616#mcu#long post#han speaks#ask#sorry this definitely gets more incomprehensible as it goes on but i have been writing and rewriting and editing and fretting about this#for so long that if i dont just post it i probably never will and i sunk too many hours into it#to throw it away now 😅#abuse tw#abuse#alcoholism tw#alcoholism
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Take Me With You
(For my @shadowhunterbingo square: Traveling | Jimon, Rated Teen, referenced alcohol but no archive warnings/other warnings)
(Read on AO3)
“I don’t need a bodyguard,” Simon insists. “It was one stupid letter.”
“The letter wasn’t stupid,” Jace says, already regretting his appointment to this job. “It was a death threat, by someone who’s sent multiple things to your unlisted apartment.”
“Well, no one knows where I live on the road, which is where I’ll be for the next three months,” Simon points out.
“Oh, yes, the total inability to track you from a list of cities you’re going to and the dates and times you’ll be there. You’re right, no one will ever find you that way,” Jace says, his tone dripping with sarcasm and more than a little condescending. Simon isn’t a no-name, but he isn’t famous-famous either, and Jace hoped that’d make him a little less awful to put up with than Jace’s usual high-profile assignments. So far it’s the opposite - Simon isn’t taking this seriously at all, which is somehow more frustrating than too much importance being put on minor perceived threats.
Simon sighs. “Fine.” It certainly doesn’t sound like he’s fine with it, but Jace isn’t here to argue. He’s here to do a job.
“Great,” Jace says. “You won’t even know I’m here.”
---
That ends up being a complete lie. Of course, when Jace first imagined blending into the background of Simon’s tour life he hadn’t taken into consideration the fact that Simon drove his own van, which would just be the two of them for extended periods of time.
Jace can tell that he’s putting a damper in the way Simon normally functions during his tours, mostly because he’s quiet while they drive. Then he’ll say something, start to ramble, catch himself rambling, and fall abruptly silent again in a repeating pattern.
“Sorry if I’m cramping your style,” Jace says after one of these repetitions, speaking loud enough to be heard over the music playing in the background.
“You’re not,” Simon insists.
Jace is dubious. “What would you be doing if you were alone?” Jace asks.
Simon doesn’t even hesitate before answering, “Scream-singing at the top of my lungs with the windows down. It’s like, my tried-and-true road trip routine.”
“...so do it. Don’t let me stop you,” Jace says.
“My manager hates it because he’s convinced one of these days I’ll end up losing my voice before a show. It’s probably for the best I’m not,” Simon says before falling silent again.
Jace doesn’t push it, nor does he comment when Simon starts to sing to a song that comes on about half an hour later, his voice growing louder and louder until all the windows are down and he’s shouting lyrics into the cool night air.
Jace has to fight the urge to join him. Normally he doesn’t have an issue staying focused on a job but Simon has this disarming way of making Jace want to relax around him. Somehow what he thought would be his easiest job to date continues to throw surprising complications his way.
Still, he keeps his mouth shut and enjoys Simon’s singing as they continue driving into the night.
---
Watching Simon with his fans is nerve-wracking. There’s no telling who might be a threat, not when everyone seems so down-to-earth, much like Simon himself. There aren’t any obviously obsessive fangirls and normal tells like knowing too many personal details is just the norm, with multiple people casually asking Simon about how his Bubbie Helen is doing or about the cat he left at home with Clary during his tour, or the most recent book he’s been reading and chatting about online. It’s difficult to pick out a potential stalker when everyone knows what Jace would typically consider more personal details than usual about Simon.
Jace watches these pre- and post-show encounters with a feeling more like he’s observing conversations between old friends rather than a musician and his fans, signatures and photo ops aside. Simon knows some of them by name, remembers birthdays mentioned over social media or live chats, and even recalls previous conversations. It’s impressive.
Dressed in plain clothes so he blends in with the crowd, Jace grows increasingly impressed with Simon the more time he spends with him. Plenty of people claim to be humble, but few often are in practice. Not Simon. Simon is everything he told Jace when they first met. He’s the same way with his fans that he is in private with Jace, which is the same way he is with his family and friends - Simon’s just, well, Simon, honestly and earnestly and unapologetically.
It’s refreshing. It’s also just another thing for Jace to push to the back of his mind, because he doesn’t need to like the guy - he just needs to protect him. Simon looks up from the table he’s signing CDs at and shoots Jace a beaming smile, and Jace has to actively force himself not to smile back and simply nod his head in acknowledgment instead.
“It’s an assignment, Herondale. Get your shit together,” Jace mutters to himself from the corner of the room. It’s a reminder he repeats more often over the upcoming weeks than he’s comfortable admitting.
---
“Please,” Jace begs after the first two weeks of shows. “I will pay for a better hotel. Let me pay for a better hotel.”
Simon is shaking his head in response before Jace finishes the request.
“Why?!” Jace glances critically around the room. “Do you want to get murdered in a shady motel? Just because I can keep you alive doesn’t mean we have to actively test it every night when we could have a door that doesn’t look like my 11-year-old brother could kick it in.”
“You have a brother?” Simon asks, ignoring everything else Jace said as he tosses his duffel bag (because Simon doesn’t even have a proper suitcase) onto a bed Jace feels the instinctive need to run a blacklight over.
Jace hesitates to answer because this is a job and he isn’t meant to share personal information about himself with his assignment. It’s strange because normally the people he’s tasked to protect are such self-absorbed assholes they barely spare Jace a second glance, let alone casual conversation.
He’s aware that the pause he takes after what should be a simple question is way too long when Simon frowns, brows pinching together.
“Two brothers, actually. One older, one younger, and a sister,” Jace finally decides to share. It’s all he intends on saying, not wanting to be rude and not answer at all, but when Simon brings up his own sister and keeps talking, keeps asking curious, harmless questions, Jace finds himself answering without thinking.
Simon is easy to talk to - maybe a little too easy to talk to, because the next thing they know it’s 1am and they need to be up and back on the road at 6.
“Get some sleep, Lewis,” Jace says finally, taking a few extra minutes to secure the door before doing one last perimeter sweep. When he gets back he pretends he doesn’t notice Simon, still awake, hastily close his eyes and pretend to sleep the second Jace gets back in the room.
---
After the third week, Jace insists that staying at nicer hotels is a matter of security and finally convinces Simon to pull into the parking lot of a proper hotel. One with room service instead of vending machines, plus a gym and a pool. Jace tells himself it’s a matter of security as well, and not a reaction to Simon complaining about having several nights of terrible sleep and some back and neck pain from the old, cheap mattresses.
Jace certainly doesn’t correct Simon’s assumption that this is covered in the contract when in reality Jace is fronting the extra cost himself. After all, this is as much for his own benefit as it is for Simon’s, right?
That’s what he tells himself as he opens up more around Simon as well, sharing a drink or two when Simon insists (never anything enough to impair his judgment, and only ever when they’re back in a room for the remainder of the night), telling a few more personal stories, and… flirting?
Jace isn’t sure, but occasionally when Simon impulsively runs into an ice cream shop in a new city and gets a cone for each of them, or points out a storefront display with a leather jacket he thinks Jace might like, or leans his shoulder into Jace while laughing at something sarcastic Jace says… yeah, sometimes Jace gets the feeling that Simon might actually like him.
Then Jace just as quickly tells himself that it’s just Simon being nice, because Simon is nice, and because of course Simon’s going to be on good terms with the guy he’s stuck with 24/7 for two months. Jace is working for Simon, and their relationship is strictly professional, however pleasant it may also be.
It’s that hard line Jace knows they won’t cross that allows him to continue to open up more, because Simon’s safe. He’ll never see the guy again when all of this is over.
“You’re a good person, Jace,” Simon says one night after a lengthy conversation.
“...what?” Jace isn’t expecting that.
“You know that, right?” Simon’s tone is just shy of insistent, and certainly not rhetorical.
“Why do you say that?” Jace asks instead of agreeing, because… well, because he doesn’t know that. He tries, but he’s made some shitty decisions in his past, and hurt a lot of people, intentionally or not. And Simon doesn’t even know him, so Jace really doesn’t know where this is coming from.
“Just… the way you talk about yourself sometimes. Like you always have something to prove, or make up for... or like you have to justify everything you say. Sometimes I get the feeling you don’t think very highly of yourself even when you’re acting like God’s gift to mankind,” Simon adds with more accurate insight than Jace is comfortable with.
And now Jace really doesn’t know what to do with that.
“What are you, a philosopher now?” Jace mutters, still avoiding any sort of direct commentary on Simon’s way-too-close-to-home observation. “Go to sleep, Simon. I don’t need you too tired to focus on the road tomorrow.”
Simon looks like he’s going to argue but doesn’t in the end, leaving Jace alone with his thoughts in the newly settling silence of the hotel room.
It feels surprisingly pleasant to hear those affirmations from Simon, and Jace considers for the briefest moment what it’d be like to just be friends with Simon outside of their circumstances, to have these discussions and delve deeper into both of their pasts, humoring more of Simon’s personal questions and--
--and everything he can’t let this turn into over the next few weeks. Fuck.
Maybe there’s some harm in opening up after all.
---
They’re a little over halfway through the three-month tour when Jace realizes that perhaps his harmless crush on Simon is stronger than he realized. Jace watches from his usual spot in the corner as Simon signs CDs and sells band t-shirts and poses for photos, which is what he always does. But with every flirtatious laugh and every arm Simon drapes over someone’s shoulder or wraps around someone’s waist, Jace feels the desire to pull Simon away... and it isn’t because he’s in danger. It’s because Jace is jealous.
Jace grows sullen at the realization, arms crossed in front of him as he forces himself to watch Simon with his fans, because this is his job. The more he watches the more he doesn’t even think Simon realizes he’s doing it. Jace knows what active, intentional flirting looks like, but this is just Simon being his natural charming self, and Jace isn’t sure if that makes the whole thing better or worse.
Because it starts to dawn on him with a bit more meaning now that the way Simon’s been with him is the way Simon is with everyone. Jace just gets to experience it more often than everyone else right now. That doesn’t make their conversations special. It doesn’t make Jace anything special to Simon. And hell, maybe it’s just been a while since Jace spent this much time with someone else, too. Maybe he should work on writing off his own motivations as easily as he’s writing off Simon’s because his feelings are far from professional right now.
When the crowd disperses and Jace goes to help Simon wrap up his gear and load it back into the van (something that’s become routine for them, though not strictly in Jace’s list of expected duties) Jace is quieter than usual.
“Everything alright?” Simon asks, catching the shift in mood.
“Yeah. Fine,” Jace says curtly.
Simon doesn’t look like he believes him but doesn’t press the topic as they toss the last of the equipment into the van and head out.
---
The nicer Simon is toward him, the more closed-off Jace gets. He’s quiet during dinners Simon insists on paying for, stops sharing so much about himself when they do talk, and when Simon gives Jace a guitar pick he fashioned into a necklace for him Jace pockets it with a muttered ‘thanks’ without putting it on. He doesn’t have the heart to totally push Simon away, but he can’t keep growing closer to him knowing it’s all going to end in three weeks.
Jace wears the necklace every day but he keeps it tucked underneath his shirts where Simon can’t see.
Simon eventually stops trying to talk to him entirely, and they spend more and more time in uncomfortable silences. Sometimes Simon insists he needs privacy to work on his music and Jace sits at the end of the hallway of their hotel room listening to the faded sounds of Simon’s strumming.
There are three weeks left in Jace’s assignment when he gets the call that the police managed to track the letters to a girl back in New York: she’s in custody and getting a restraining order put against her, and Jace can come back as soon as he arranges transportation.
Jace hangs up the phone feeling surprisingly upset. This is great news for Simon, and he should be happy for him if nothing else, but that means this is the last night he’ll have to spend with Simon.
The last night he’ll get to spend with Simon.
“Hey Simon, good news. I just got a call from Luke and they tracked down your mystery stalker. You’ll get all the details once you’re back home but they’re already putting the restraining order into place, so you’re good to go.”
“What? That’s amazing!” Simon grins automatically, but it falls back into a frown just as quickly. “Does that mean you…?” his words trail off in question.
“I’ll be able to leave in the morning,” Jace confirms.
“Guess you’ll be happy to get out of here,” Simon says, his smile entirely gone.
“I do miss New York,” Jace carefully avoids the answer he knows Simon’s fishing for. The lie he should give, but can’t bring himself to.
Simon looks Jace up and down, his gaze finally resting on Jace’s face for a long couple of seconds, searching for something there before turning away without another word.
---
Jace knows he shouldn’t go to the show, but he does. He hangs in the back, a real drink in hand now that he’s no longer on duty, and listens to Simon sing the songs Jace knows by heart now. Jace knows from experience standing by the side of the stage that there’s no way Simon can make out any faces where Jace currently sits back by the bar. He plans on leaving before the end, before the lights come on and Simon knows he was there.
He’s a few drinks in when he hears Simon break his usual format.
“How does everyone feel about me trying out a new song I’ve been working on?” Simon asks. The crowd claps and cheers, and Jace shifts in his seat to fully face the stage. “This is a song about feeling a connection with someone, and not knowing when things went wrong, only that they did. And wondering if maybe it was all in your head the whole time...”
Jace feels his throat tighten at those words. He doesn’t have to be a genius to piece together the lyrics Simon starts to sing, fitting them to their lives the past few months, the hope of getting to know someone you’re starting to like, the confusion of being shut out, the uncertainty of wondering if they ever felt the same way you did or if they were just humoring you.
Jace knows Simon well enough to know that this isn’t a coincidence. It can’t be.
Against his better judgment, Jace stays. He stays until the set is over and the lights come on and Simon looks out around the crowd and makes direct eye contact with him.
Because fuck it. He’s leaving in the morning, and if this is all for nothing then he’ll never see Simon again and it won’t matter. But if he’s right…
Jace hangs back, watching Simon smile and laugh and sign CDs and take photos, acutely aware of every time the musician’s eyes wander over to where Jace lingers by the bar. Outside of the fading buzz from the alcohol it almost feels normal: hanging back after the show, watching Simon and waiting for him to make his way over once the crowd disperses. Hell, even the butterflies in Jace’s stomach aren’t new.
“You’re here,” Simon says when he finally makes his way over. “I didn’t think you’d come, since… I mean…”
“I heard your new song,” Jace forces the words out before he can change his mind. “I’d say I liked it, but that seems like the wrong response from the guy who made you think you did something wrong.”
“Not everything is about you,” Simon argues, but the intent falls flat beneath the nervous tremor the words are spoken with.
“No,” Jace agrees easily. “But that song is.”
Simon hesitates, then sighs. “It is.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize for not liking me, Jace. You were doing your job, that’s-”
“No. I’m sorry I was going to leave without telling you that I like you. I thought I’d leave and you’d never see me again, that it’d be pointless to get attached. I thought you were just… being nice. Because you’re a good person.” The words spill out of Jace before he can overthink them.
“You like me,” Simon repeats incredulously. “That totally makes sense with, you know, the way you completely stopped talking to me.”
Jace can hear the anger in Simon’s voice and winces slightly. Just because it’s entirely deserved doesn’t make it easier to hear.
“I figured it’d be easier to walk away once this was all over if we weren’t as friendly.” It’s still a shitty thing to have done, and Jace wouldn’t blame Simon for holding it against him. But after hearing that song he couldn’t walk away with Simon thinking it was over anything he did wrong. No matter the cost to Jace’s pride, Simon deserves that much. “And… maybe I was a little afraid that if I got much closer I’d want to cross a line I knew I couldn’t.”
“So you felt it too?” Simon’s words and expression are full of so much hope that Jace almost panics again. What if he isn’t half the person Simon thinks he is after getting to know him in this little bubble of theirs from the past few months? What if he messes this up?
...what if he doesn’t?
“I did,” Jace finally admits. “I still do. And I know I probably ruined any chance I had before, but if I haven’t fucked things up too badly, maybe once you’re back in New York we could meet up for coffee?”
Simon smiles, brighter than the house lights that fill the small venue now.
“Or… or you could stay with me for the last few shows? I wasn’t just being nice for the sake of being nice - I like you, Jace. I changed my hotel routine for you! I wouldn’t do that for just anyone. I don’t know if you have to go back right away for work, or something, but if you don’t I definitely wouldn’t mind the company. Your company.”
Jace considers it for a few long moments, then nods. It’s fitting, he thinks, to drop the formalities and the professional distance in the same setting he started to fall for Simon in. The same setting in which Simon started to fall for him, despite Jace’s best efforts to dissuade him, only this time with no excuses to hold him back. And if Simon’s willing to give him an actual shot after everything, he’d be a fool not to take it.
“Well, I can’t very well leave you to lug all your equipment around by yourself, can I?” Jace says, smiling. “Let me check back in with the office tomorrow morning but I don’t have anything scheduled. It shouldn’t be an issue.”
There’s a pause then, the air between them filled with an almost electric buzz of anticipation. Simon takes the first step closer, bridging the gap between them. There’s no questioning what Simon’s thinking when his eyes dart down to Jace’s lips and back up to meet his gaze again before speaking.
“Can I-”
Before Simon can finish, Jace’s lips are already on his in response. It’s slow and tentative, with each of them feeling the other out, but it’s nice. It’s really nice. When they pull away after a few moments Simon can’t keep the smile off his face. “That was even better than I imagined.”
Jace quirks an eyebrow, smirking fully now. “You imagined us kissing?”
“Shut up and help me load the van.”
The familiar banter and Simon’s easy smile are such an immediate comfort for Jace that he can’t help the light laugh he gives in response. As Simon looks back at Jace it’s with an expression so soft and full of kindness that Jace knows now isn’t the same look he reserves for everyone else.
Jace knows it’s a look reserved only for him this time - and with any luck, for many more times to come.
#jimon#jace herondale#simon lewis#shadowhunters#tsc#hmdiscord#ShadowhunterBingo#a birthday gift for cor! because no one loves Jimon quite like her <3#I hope you like it!#long post#elle writes a few deadbeat lines
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