#bride squad | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

practically-an-x-man · 3 months

Note

Person A has a nightmare and snaps at person B afterwards. It turns into a big fight. They feel bad about it but are unsure about how to apologize.

Ooooh this definitely reads as Eris not quite understanding humanity....

____ Dead of Night

Word Count: 2.4k Content Warnings: swearing, heavy verbal argument, angst with a happy ending

____

He felt Rick shift in the middle of the night.

All at once she was startled awake. She'd always been a light sleeper - a habit built from a lifetime of battle. It was rare that they slept at all, at least before they met Rick. Perhaps living with him had made them soft. He'd never have imagined taking so much time, every single night, just for rest he didn't need.

But it felt nice. Most of the time.

They sat up, blinking in the darkness, to find Rick tossing and turning on his sleep. Once, his breath hitched unpleasantly, and a low groan escaped his lips. Eris frowned.

"Rick?" they muttered, "Rick- hey, wake up! What's going on? What's wrong?"

She put a hand on his shoulder, and he jolted upright all at once. For the briefest instant, the sudden motion sent Eris' heart thundering in his chest. Then it passed, and he squinted at Rick's hunched, guarded form.

"What the hell happened?" His words came out too sharp, thick with emotions they didn't want to acknowledge. Hell- she hardly wanted to acknowledge that she was sharing a bed with him at all, or all the strange feelings that stirred up. "Are you... sick? Did something happen out in the field today?"

"It's called a nightmare," Rick huffed, running a hand over his face with a grimace, "Normal people have them sometimes."

"I know what a fucking nightmare i-" Eris started, but froze as they finally processed his words, "Normal people?"

He expected Rick to wince, to take back the words, to reach out and set his hand on their arm or their back in one of his tactile comforts. But Rick didn't move. He didn't even meet Eris' eyes.

"Yeah. Normal people. Because normal people don't get to sleep peacefully when they do the things you do." His voice was nearly a growl when he started, but the longer he spoke, the more it turned into a shout, "Normal people don't fucking laugh when they cut off a person's head! Normal people definitely don't count the number of people they kill- or turn it into some kind of goddamn competition!"

Eris flinched at the words. Conflict roiled within her, along with... something else. Something that didn't want to fight, and instead wanted to find a dark hole to crawl into and hibernate for the next hundred years. He didn't know what that was. He didn't like it. So he chose conflict instead.

"Is that all I am, then? A way to make you feel better about your own violence?" they hissed, sliding out of the bed. They needed distance. She wasn't sure why she'd ever agreed to share a bed with him- or with anyone.

Eris bared his teeth, glaring at Rick in the darkness, "Because no matter what you do, I've done worse, is that it? No matter how many people you shoot, no matter how many times you step into that field, I've killed more people, stepped onto more battlegrounds. You justify your kills in the name of Uncle Sam, and you justify your guilt in the name of Eris. I see."

"What you do gives me nightmares." Rick snapped, finally meeting her eyes. His were tired, bloodshot, rimmed with red. "And if you had any shred of morality, it would give you nightmares too."

That made Eris recoil. He'd never claimed to have upstanding morals. He'd never really claimed to have morals at all. Once in a while she tried, just for the hell of it, but it never really stuck.

But somehow it was different to hear it from Rick.

"Fine." they hissed, "Go ahead. Put it all on me. As if you've lived some perfect life. As if you don't deserve to remember the violence you've caused. As if I'm the only one in this room that has blood on their hands. Go on."

Her fingers were twitching for a weapon. Her body thrummed like a freshly plucked bowstring. Conflict danced through him, sharpened his senses, made his posture tighten and his muscles tense.

And Eris grimaced.

They wanted a fight- but not that kind of fight. There was only so much damage one could do with words. But the physical? That was worse. Worlds worse. If he let himself start there... he wasn't sure where he'd stop.

And he couldn't stand the thought.

Eris took a step back. The one saving grace was that Rick hadn't spoken - he seemed to have finally recognized his words, and had begun to flounder in a half-asleep scramble for vocabulary. If he'd said anything else, just one more taunt, their control might have snapped. The promise of a fight already swirled in her chest, sour and caustic like her heart was pumping bleach instead of blood.

"I think I should go." she managed, her voice coming out rougher and quieter than she meant it, "Before things get worse."

"Fine. Go." Rick muttered, waving a careless hand in her direction. He opened his mouth to say more, but paused. He must have seen something on their face.

Eris slipped out the door and disappeared into the night.

____

He wandered for a while. He wasn't entirely sure where - just walking the city, putting ground under his feet, breathing in the cool night air. She avoided the local pubs and bars, anywhere that was still active this time of the night. There was bound to be conflict there. And Eris didn't want to do anything he'd regret.

Wow. Regret. That one was new for him.

No. Not quite. She didn't regret anything she'd done. She didn't regret the blood on her hands, the life that had faded under her fingertips. They couldn't say they didn't care, because that wasn't quite true, but they didn't regret it. It was over so quickly... and why waste so much emotion on things that couldn't be taken back?

He was wandering a park on the far side of the city when he was bathed in the yellow glow of headlights. He expected the car to pass in a moment, but the headlights only grew brighter as it neared. Finally they died - not because the car had passed them, but because the driver had parked it at the sidewalk and killed the engine.

"Eris!"

Rick. Of course. He sounded more alert then before, and looked a little more put-together - he'd clearly thrown an outfit together in the dark and half-asleep, but at least he was dressed - and he held up his hands as he approached. His truck pinged as the engine began to cool.

"How did you know I was here?" They weren't quite the words she expected to cross her lips. He'd definitely softened her. Anyone else would've been killed, or at least abandoned where they stood. But... not Rick.

He wordlessly lifted a hand, gesturing at something above her head. Eris twisted around, finally noticing the bronze soldier on horseback above their head. Of course. He'd found his way to a war monument - an echo of past conflict, familiar comfort, where else?

Eris just sighed, wandering back towards the statue and hopping up onto its tall concrete base. They sat there, feet dangling over the sidewalk. The stone was cold underneath her, and Eris realized he was still in his nightclothes. She quickly found herself shivering. She was built for much warmer climates than this.

"Did you fight in this one?" Rick asked, gesturing again at the statue over her head. Eris shrugged.

"The battle or the war?"

"Either."

"Not this one. But I fought up north. Pennsylvania." he answered, "We won."

"So you fought for the Union. The North. That's good." Rick said, "For a second I was worried you were fightin' for the wrong side."

Eris scoffed.

"Nobody ever thinks their side is the wrong side," they pointed out, "Everyone's got justification for what they do. And I'm sure I've fought for more 'wrong' sides than right ones."

"Alright," Rick agreed, taking long strides to join her at the base of the statue. He slid onto the concrete pedestal, sitting beside her and fixing her with his eyes. "So why this one?"

He was using it as an in. He was using it as an excuse to sit down, to get closer, to keep Eris from shoving him aside and running off again. They could see that, clear as day. But... they decided to let it slide.

"Humans have this... bad habit of assigning this completely unjustified value to each others' lives." Eris said with a low grimace, "I can't stand it. No life is more valuable than another."

Rick opened his mouth to speak, then reconsidered it. Eris could see the gears turning in his mind, trying to find the right words for his thoughts.

"No life is more valuable." he echoed after a few long moments, "That sounds... pacifistic to me. It sounds very..."

"Anti-conflict? Anti-Eris?" she finished for him, then shook her head, "You misunderstand. People deserve to die. Some more than others. But they deserve to die for their actions, not for their life alone. That's not pacifism, and it's not morality. It's just... fairness."

"What do you mean?"

He still didn't get it. Of course he didn't. Life and morality were intertwined to him. And that placed so-called "good morals" and violence innately at odds, at least without justification. And everybody had justification.

Eris sighed, rubbing at his scar-crossed knuckles. He hoped he could explain his thoughts.

"Baby Rick Flag and baby Hitler and baby.... um- who's, like, a good person? Like a really good person?"

"...Malala?" Rick offered.

"Alright." Eris said, splaying their hands out in front of them, "Baby Rick Flag and baby Hitler and baby Malala all deserve the chance to grow up. Regardless of who they'll become. Because nobody knows who they'll become. I've killed people who didn't deserve it. I've spared people who didn't deserve it. And if I'd been there, if I'd had the chance, I'd have cut off Adolf Hitler's head and mounted it on a pike like the old kings. But not for the weight of his life. For the weight of his actions. For the blood on his hands. That's the distinction."

Rick thought about this for a moment.

"You know that makes you-"

"A hypocrite? Sure." Eris agreed with a shrug, "Everyone's a hypocrite. By my own logic, my actions state that I deserve to die. There's more blood on my hands than I'm due. I know that. I won't shy away from it. I'm sure there are plenty of people that want to cut off my head for all that I've done. And I would deserve it. But that doesn't mean I'll lay down and accept the guillotine when one of them comes for me."

Rick was silent for a long time. Eris found themself anxious for the next words out of his mouth, whatever they would be.

"So that's how you pick your sides." he finally said, "You won't fight for any side that's slaughtering people for existing."

"Yeah." Eris sighed, "Slaughtering, enslaving... it doesn't matter. Everyone deserves the chance to exist on their own terms. Regardless of what they do with it."

"Hm." Rick sighed, but turned his head to offer her a crooked smile, "There's a few world leaders who could take a note from you."

"I've got a list. They'll be taken care of."

"I'm sure they will."

He didn't even sound surprised. Let alone disgusted. It was certainly an upgrade from his words earlier in the night... though those still echoed painfully in Eris' head. When had she started caring so much about what Rick thought? And why? Any human was a blink against her lifespan, and Rick especially dove into battle like he thought he was immortal. As much as that endeared him to Eris... it scared them just as much. How many years did he get before he was gone?

Or had things already fallen apart?

Eris was speaking before she realized it.

"Do I really give you nightmares?"

"Yes," Rick admitted, and she found herself vaguely surprised when he didn't move away. Rick stared at his hands, refusing to meet their eyes. Finally he shrugged. "But what I do gives me nightmares too. Taxes give me nightmares. Jurassic Park used to give me nightmares. It's irrational. Happens to everyone once in a while. I shouldn't have... shouldn't have pushed that all on you."

"I'm sure I made it worse, though."

That brought Rick's eyes to hers, and his brow crinkled.

"You didn't. It's just-"

"I did." Eris insisted, "It's... what I am. Conflict gets worse around me. Battles grow bloodier, arguments turn into fistfights. Bad dreams become nightmares. Maybe I made a mistake in living with you. If you can't sleep when you share your space with me..."

"No. Eris- I want you to stay."

For another person, that wouldn't have been enough. It wasn't an apology. He didn't take back what he'd said before. It... wasn't quite right.

But neither was Eris. And an invitation to stay, despite the turmoil their very presence would cause- did cause- was as good as an apology anyway. Words alone felt hollow, and Eris didn't deal in regret; he dealt in action. This was action.

In the silence that stretched between them, Rick stripped off his jacket and tucked it around Eris' shoulders. It was only that motion that made them realize they were still shivering.

"That wasn't an invitation to get all soft on me, Flag." she muttered, though she had to bite the inside of her cheek to stifle the smile that threatened to creep free. Up until they'd met Rick, they'd thought chivalry had died decades before. It was painfully charming to see him made the exception.

Rick scoffed, though Eris could see amusement glimmering deep in his eyes. This was familiar. They both recognized that.

"Fine. Give me my jacket back, then."

"No," he countered, selfishly burrowing deeper into the fabric. He stayed rooted their for a moment, savoring the warmth and the faint smell of Rick's cologne, then finally sighed and slid off the pedestal. She took quick steps towards Rick's truck, his jacket still tucked tight around her shoulders. "Let's go."

He heard Rick chuckle behind him, accompanied soon by the jingle of keys.

"Sure thing, doll. Homeward bound?"

"If by home you mean your apartment... yes." Eris obliged him, tracing their fingers idly along the worn lining of his jacket. They wondered how long he'd had it. "And turn the heater up."

"As you wish."

#listen i can't not reference the princess bride it's burned into my brain forever and always #my friends!!!#answered asks #my writing #my ocs #oc eris #ficlet #oneshot #angst #angst with a happy ending #the suicide squad #rick flag

3 notes · View notes