#both canon and headcanon welcome
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How tf do Vertibirds even work? I'm writing a lot of scenes with Vertibirds and I keep saying "he took the key out of the ignition" after they land because I don't want the possibility of a mf stealing it. Like?? Keys feel so old school for this time period?? But if all it takes is a button press, that feels like it's too easy to steal it. Idk man.
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It's time to bring out some summer Fakiru. 👀 I'm weak for imagining their post-canon interactions....
#ptutu#princess tutu#fakiru#fakir#ahiru arima#post canon au#fan art#doodle#digital art#Illustration#aLSO for those curious i have ring wearing headcanons! Ahiru wears them both on the left and right hand depending on where she places it#while Fakir wears it exclusively on the left hand since his right hand's uncomfy with having anything on it due to his scar#they dont really follow wedding ring traditions and don't really care about it#anyway welcome to my wholesome post canon shit im gonna make them wholesome af
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You know -- it kind of bothers me that they made Vic screw Craig in show. Nothing against Craig as a character , but creating this " must be pure " scenario that wasn't exactly an issue among book is a tad too much in left field. When her book version really had no interest in doing the horizontal tango, not seriously anyways. That the only reason she had condoms in the closet was because she ended up playing a joke in class by using one as a balloon whilst her mother was the one to accuse her whoring around. Though Charlie does have an old fashioned way of thinking when considering relationship status, he isn’t as strict as they tried to make him out to be. This is where a lot of people tend to mislabel him too. I do however see where they were trying to take it, vampiric cliche on virgin blood and all -- it just wasn’t executed in that direction enough and eventually became misleading.
There is also a part in the Wraith graphic novel that it mentions he can turn adults if they weren’t tainted. Or upheld the spirit of childlike qualities -- in other words; innocence. Which could then perhaps interpret that sexual endeavors eradicate that innocence. ( Which would also shine a little more light on Charlie’s own childhood traumas and how he notes to mention his innocence was stolen. ) Again having his own scars dictate the outcome of the present/future. A lot of people weren’t taking those hints because they had become too subtle and far spread. However, it wasn’t elaborated on if that was the only way either. Only that it had been his speculation of the power given to him.
It also kind of fucks up the plot on Wayne being Lou's. I'm debating on heavily leaning more toward book with increments of show during that showdown of theirs at Gunbarrel in particular anyways. I won't exile Craig out of the picture completely, but things would have played out a bit differently in my AU blend.
All the flaws and contradictions are more apparent since I'm re-watching and re-reading back to back with one another. I'm sure I've made mention of them before, or at least partially.
Still rubbing me the wrong way, I guess. Especially now that they're fresh on my mind again. So here I am, bringing up that sore topic.
I try to blend the book(s) and show seamlessly, but it doesn't always end up clean. I can't believe I also missed a lot of AU opportunities that I could have brought into the fold already.
Am I angry with myself ? A lil.. Allowed some things to muddle and need to eventually straighten it up within plots already ongoing. I'll write out my headcanon AU book/show blend later on to better conjoin them all for future installments.
#❡ Character ● Studies#Canon/Headcanons ;#Blending both book and show ;#nos4a2 rp#nos4a2#nos4r2#The Wraith : Welcome to Christmasland
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Hiiiiiii 👋😙
With all the lovely dad!Ghost renders you graced us with, can i ask if you have any headcanons for them? Can never get enough of Ghost having a family he never got to have as a kid. I just wanna hug him frfr okay I'm done babbling 😭🫶🫶🤍
Helloooo! ♥
Ok, so this is interesting ask! Some of my renders are random, but some have a story
Simon forgot to take off his balaclava. Child saw it on him and by the time he realized, it was already too late. He expected baby to cry, be afraid of him and not recognize their dad, but when they didn't and even got interested, he got emotional.
Maybe he realized that Ghost wasn't just a soldier and even he became a father - not just Simon.
He wanted to introduce his baby to "Ghost". Wants little one not to be afraid of him and to know what their father does for a living
I imagine him as a dad who likes to chill with his kid in living room. Maybe he turns something on TV and waits for them to fall asleep, and when they do, he closes his eyes for a moment and eventually they both end up snoring
Riley's first introduction to his baby. Simon was afraid of dog's reaction, but baby wanted to give Riley a toy. They definitely liked each other and became friends.
These are either before or after mission - last hug or a warm hello. Maybe his partner wanted to surprise him and came to the base with their baby to welcome him?
Now some of my random dad!Ghost canons! >.<
10000000000% girl dad
he certainly never planned to have children, due to his own traumas and dangerous job, so having them was by an accident for sure.
feeling first kick, seeing a baby bump or ultrasound made something "click" in him
once he becomes a father, he is overprotective and wants to provide child with a safe and calm environment, which he never had
delicate and distant at the beginning. He doesn't think he deserves a family, and if he does have one, he's afraid of losing it.
he is action and giving type of person. A new swing in the garden? Installed in a few hours. Repair a broken toy or paint walls in new color? Done. Take baby to the doctor? You can count on him at any time. This is his love language.
grumpy type with a dad humor. Always has a lame joke up his sleeve
at the same time, as the child grows up, he also learns what it means to show love for them as a father. So only with time he starts to feel comfortable hugging his baby, playing with them, etc.
once he gets it, oh boy, he throws this kid all over the place while playing. Yes, he is the type of father who throws his child on the mattress and pretends to play WWE
have you seen this photo of Chris Hemsworth where he holds his kid by leg on a beach? Yes, this is Simon
or wraps them up like a burrito in a blanket and watch them struggle with smile on his face. The best way to tire them out, so it's a win for everyone if they fall asleep faster!
but he also likes to watch cartoons with them and cuddle (falls asleep after a few minutes)
he does THIS a lot
his kid/s definitely color his tattoos. And no, he doesn't wash them off. He's very proud of them. Definitely shows them to Soap.
seeing blood during a mission in his life was nothing compared to changing baby's diaper. Avoids it like the plague.
definitely did a fake tea party once. Little plastic chair broke under his weight.
has a lot of vids and pics on his phone of every possible situation of what his child is doing - sleeps, eats, talks, plays, smiles.... Once in a while shows them to 141
but he definitely likes photos where baby is sleeping the most. Because then he sees their calm expression and it gives him a sense of peace and fulfillment
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Love and relationships in Hazbin Hotel
Episode 7 has something interesting and in the song that is called "Out for love" is sung by a character that is referring to a type of love different from a romantic or sexual one, Carmilla is openly talking about familial love. Vaggie of course relates this to her romantic feelings towards Charlie and how she wants to help her. But something else interesting happens in episode 7, Rosie is properly introduced as Alastor's bestie. This leads to showing another type of love: platonic love.
Now to the main point of this post: Alastor. It's canon that he is aroace and as an ace myself (I'm still questioning whether I'm aromantic or demiromantic but this post isn't about me lol) I'm extremely happy to see myself through him. Plus, the fact that the perfect Tumblr sexyman is aroace is genius and hilarious, you can't possibly top this type of humor.
Alastor for me has been a great ace representation and I've seen myself mainly in how he acts around his friends or other people.
When it comes to Niffty it looks more like a relationship between someone with their feral cat or their crazy little sister. But it's still a genuine connection and a fun chaotic one at that, he even lets her touch his hair and climb on him. In regards to Mimzy, he has shown he cares about her and welcomes her with open arms. He openly hugs her, which shocks everyone in the cast. This is extremely important because Alastor usually only starts physical contact to mock others or to pretend physical closeness as a manipulation tactic (like he often does with Charlie). When it comes to people he hates Alastor may touch them but will quickly wipe his hand on his clothes, like what he did with Lucifer. Personally, I don't like personal contact and only accept it if I start it and usually I use it as a way to show affection with close friends. Also, they have known each other since they were alive, so Mimzy probably knows a lot about Alastor that the rest of the cast doesn't. Mimzy also says that they used to dance together. But that doesn't exclude the fact that she uses Alastor's friendship and affection to save her own ass and taking into account how Husk reacted to Mimzy, this isn't the first time she does this. Also, the relationship between the two starts to crumble after what happened in episode 6 and Mimzy seems to be the kind of friend who will pretend that they are still on good terms and still ask Alastor for favors in the future.
Now jumping back to Alastor's true bestie: Rosie. They probably bonded at first over their cannibalistic natures but it's clear that it evolved beyond that. Personally, I don't ship Alastor with anyone, but when it comes to Rosie I headcanon they are in a QPR.
There are various reasons why this relationship is so great and wholesome, the first one being that there is no power imbalance, they are equals. Both are cannibalistic overlords and are on equal footing in terms of power. When Rosie first sees Alastor she is genuinely happy which is something new because most people react badly to him out of fear or hatred.
Alastor respects Rosie, he even compliments her, in her introduction he says she is "the most darling, delightful, and dangerous Overlord of this side of the pentagram". Considering how self-centered and narcissistic he can be, it means a lot. Alastor would rather die again than compliment another Overlord who isn't Zestial, which he respects but out of fear. Alastor respects Rosie as his close friend. When they stand next to each other they give an air of equals, something that never happens thanks to Alastor's ego and sadism towering over everyone else. With Rosie it's different and Rosie can openly tease Alastor with the "Look at you, so polite! Alastor you can learn a thing or two" when comparing him to Charlie when meeting her, or "I'm just kidding, I know you're an ace in the hole" to tease him about his asexuality. This is something that not a lot of people can do because Alastor is obsessed with control and respect. After all, we see how badly he reacted when Husk insulted him.
He also harmonizes with her, he willingly makes a duet with her in "Ready for this". He isn't interrupting her, instead, he agrees with her and they sing together in unison. This is the first time he doesn't openly hijack a song or fight for control over it, like he did with Vox and Lucifer (although this also happened because this is Charlie's song, but who cares the point still stands). Also, this is the first time we see him dance with someone, instead of forcing them to join his musical number (like he does with Charlie on various occasions). Alastor and Rosie are in perfect sync and it's so wholesome and precious to see him being so openly happy with her. Many have pointed out that the only times Alastor is genuinely smiling is when he is with Rosie and it shows by his expression in his eyes.
Finally, Rosie is the only one capable of bringing the most human emotions out of him, the most obvious one being confusion. In the scene of "ace in the hole" Rosie manages to confuse and surprise Alastor for a solid second, which is a huge change of his persona around everyone else of control and manipulation. Also, it's hilarious that Alastor doesn't know what being aroace is, he probably thinks he is above all that.
He is openly relaxed around Rosie and lets her touch him in an affectionate way, something that not even Mimzy can do. It may be because of the height difference but Mimzy only touches Alastor to hug him and to emphasize he is a "heartless son of a bitch" and Alastor clearly gets irritated by her touching him that way and even moves her finger away from him. This never happens with Rosie and he even welcomes her touching him by not having any walls with her. It's Rosie the one starting the physical contact and Alastor doesn't seem to mind and he never tries to use physical contact to take advantage of her like he does with other characters. Rosie is one of the few people who can touch Alastor without losing an arm and instead have a positive reaction out of him.
The most genuine relationship Alastor has is with Rosie, he even has the confidence and comfort to stop his elegant and reserved persona of not swearing. Which he only does when he is truly angry, like what happened with Lucifer. Or when he is threatening someone like he did with Adam. Or when he is shocked when his microphone breaks. He swears to insult Susan, which is someone they both despise equally. Something that you would only do with your closest bestie.
Finally, let's talk about Alastor's breakdown in the last episode. We've already seen that Alastor is capable of having friendships that aren't based on an end goal. Alastor knows this but he rejects it because he is at the hotel originally for selfish goals and doesn't want his emotions to get in the way. He is terrified of ruining his reputation as a sadistic killer and becoming an altruistic who cares about his friends. Alastor wants to stop himself from starting to care about the crew the same way he cares about Rosie, Mimzy, or Nifty to some degree. This is confirmed by his conversation with Niffty, where he admits he has grown accustomed to the main crew and perhaps he is growing feelings of affection towards them in his own way.
In regards to shipping him with Rosie, I see it as a platonic ship or a QPR. Some people have a headcanon that if they had known each other when they were alive they would have married for tax benefits and to avoid the social stigma, which is the only right answer. When they first met in hell they probably had dates in cannibal town where they ate human flesh while gossiping and trash-talked about the other overlords. Which is exactly what an ace person like myself wants from a close friendship.
As an ace, I really like Alastor not because he is the ultimate Tumblr sexyman or see him as hot but because he is an extremely fun character that I can relate to. I'm grateful for the crew and VA that take into account he is aroace and take seriously that aspect of his character. I don't mind that the aroace representation in Hazbn Hotel is a narcissistic psychopath, if you want a more wholesome ace representation you can check Todd in Bojack Horseman or Saiki in The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.
I don't mind people shipping Alastor, after all, it's just people having fun, but you can't ignore that he is aroace and how this affects his relationships. So yeah have fun and respect and aroace community :)
ok thanks for hearing my rant bye
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Currently(and always) obsessed with Donnie&Technodrome and will I force the canon events into my headcanons? Yes, yes I will xD
The Technodrome does have a mind of its own! Maybe its not as sapient as krang or humans, but there is still something!
And this something... liked Donnie.
At first Donnie had to just push his hands in and the Technodrome started connecting.
And then it gets an idea of Donnie and the connection with him.
This contact isn’t enough for both of them, probably Donnie not being krang and all.
And the Technodrome lets him go, because it knows Donnie was going to come back. From Donnie.
And now it reachs towards him and it welcomes him in. Welcomes him back.
After this it’s not just Donnie anymore.
Mind you, this is Donnie inside and this is Donnie outside.
It’s them now. It’s Donnie AND Technodrome. They are excited! They see themselves as perfection!!
But it was still so new and they were distracted even after dealing with krang Brother. They didn’t notice the Prime.
Who can still access the control over Technodrome.
And yet with this and his strength he still struggled with getting Donnie out. Not with one swift move. Donnie was holding, Technodrome was holding. They both screamed in pain from forced separation, their minds ripping apart.
The krang are controling the ship from the outside, like a tool. Donnie became one with it. This is different, they were connected in a way that never happened before.
The color changed too. When Krang are controling the ship, it’s blue, the color of Technodrome’s brain. It was being ordered around.
When Donnie connects to it, it’s purple, Donnie is joining in.
#rottmnt#Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt donnie#rise donnie#rottmnt technodrome#-and this is why i think some bits should have stayed in donnie. the end xD
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YANDERE!SatoSugu x Reader
This is mainly based on a post (of @appleblueberry-pie ), that was just complaining that there was rarely any Fluff material from Yandere Poly Gojo and Geto (and that they are mainly seen as bullies of their darling) and holy shit! Is right. So I applied the "if someone else doesn't do it, I'll do it!" I hope you enjoy it.
PART 2 OUT!!!
Genre: Headcanons
Reader: neutral/feminine
WARNINGS: SOFT YANDERE GETO SUGURU AND SOFT YANDERE GOJO SATORU, UNHEALTY MINDSET, OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR, MANIPULATION, Gojo's god complex (minor), canon Divergent (Geto doesn't get corrupted...complelty), Gojo x Geto x reader, strange amount of domestic fluff towards the end. VERY LONG POST
okay.... you're screwed.
or well not so much.
What Satoru and Suguru have as a Yandere combo is that they balance each other in their worst aspects and end up being much more pleasant than if they were separated (this is more noticeable in the case of Gojo but let's talk about that).
Let's say they meet you at Jujustu High, a new classmate. which precisely stands out because of how innocent you seem, how good you are as a person.
clearly without having gone through the same traumas as most third years by the time you integrate.
You only entered to the Jujustu academy out of a desire to improve your growing skills and help people in the process. something very genuine.
So when they both become interested in you (cutie), they give each other that typical knowing look and proceed to plan how to approach you.
At first they just saw all this as an innocent Crush and in a way something new, welcome.
However, the more they watched you to know how to be close to you, the more they found out about you, the less innocent it seemed and their need to want to know everything was more... morbid to say the least.
Gojo is the first to say out loud his darkest thoughts about it, about how he wants to follow you all the time, to make sure you're safe of course! This world is so dangerous for someone so friendly, he says. They would eat you alive. he says.
However, Geto is the one who puts his feet on the ground, telling him that they must be patient, try to take you to them with caution and tenderness, since under that logic, they cannot tear you away from your world as if nothing had happened. No. you are fragile he says. in general more self-critical about these obsessive thoughts.
Gojo is bad at saying no to Geto, so he reluctantly agrees.
and that was how you officially meet them.
seeing them as pleasant companions who seemed to have a normal attraction towards you. They weren't very subtle, but they weren't as persistent as they would otherwise be(Japon, y'know)
apart from the fact that they make you feel strangely...safe in some way. Having the two strongest students on your side, helping you at every step, made you feel protected by something superior (which was not entirely a lie) and above all as if you were part of that. Like when a young lion joins the pride, that's how you feel.
at first.
because the feelings of simple companionship were slowly evolving through certain gestures, whether it was that they accompanied you home, gave you some compliment on your appearance or when You change something, or because of some lesson learned, no matter what it was, everything together left you quite stunned, but in the good sense!
Besides, they are very good friends! You can vent to them about anything, tell them about ideas you have about future techniques that you want to try (they volunteer, mainly Satoru because of the Infinity theme), if you have any problems with money or something like that, they will give you a hand(Even if You don't ask for it!), etc.
The more they get to know you, the harder they fall, and the more they do, the stronger the obsession becomes.
it can not be helped! Now that they are sure that you are even more perfect than they thought, they cannot risk ruining everything, they must follow the plan little by little in small steps..
If someone tries to bully you, don't worry! either Gojo or Geto (or both) will have a "talk" with that person and 1- they won't even dare to look at you after that or 2- you won't even know what happened to them.
If you ask either of them, they'll just tell you that "he must have left due to lack of talent" or something like that. although the way they speak somberly says otherwise.
although if a comment like this especially stuck, they won't tolerate it, they won't let you think badly of yourself, they will try to cheer you up, either by doing exercises that they know you're good at to show their point or simply going to clear your head by riding a bike.
We could say that in general terms, they do not want you to lose that innocence and purity that characterizes you above all else, you are above that. They don't want to see that shine disappear, God forbid that you ever lose the faith that keeps you standing. You are too precious for this.
I'm assuming you wouldn't have any love interest, because otherwise... you'll most likely have to deal with his recent disappearance or him suddenly walking away from you.
Simultaneously, they themselves became bolder with their advances. giving more direct compliments, or pick up lines, having more trusting physical contact with you (hugs, having an arm around your shoulders, kisses on your cheeks, etc.).
It was a slow process that left you wondering, when the hell did this happen?
but at the same time you noticed several things out of place.
For example, you no longer hung out with anyone but them, NOT EVEN Shoko or anyone, just them. and it's not like you have a chance to be alone to do it, going to the park? Satoru happened to be there, are you staying late at Jujutsu High? Geto finds you because he coincidentally had to clean that room.
Of course, you can talk to them through text messages or calls, but at the same time you have the feeling that it is not worth highlighting these facts, since it would make you look like a paranoid crazy person, right?
If you mention it to either of them (or both of them), Gojo would probably play it off as a joke and brush it off, saying that they are just coincidences and that you shouldn't worry about such trivial things. Geto is more understanding and understands why you might be suspicious, but he reassures you that they would NEVER do anything to harm you and above all, what's wrong with spending time together? They like you, you like them, so what's the problem?
By now, your relationship with them becomes a kind of unofficial romance, somewhat odd, but pleasant. I mean, they are quite cuddly and make sure you don't hurt a hair on your missions, you even get back in touch with some friends now that you seem to accept them.
everything seems perfect.
but then Riko happens.
and Geto and Gojo almost lost it
and you can easily see how bad it affected their mental health. They became more paranoid, less joking, more serious about work.
and Mimiko and Nanako also passed by, although they were some fresh air in comparison (along with a certain Megumi), but you noticed that Geto and Gojo's behavior towards you changed again.
One day, they came to your house, they told you that you had to come with them, it sounded serious and because of the problems they had recently, you didn't have the heart to say no.
They went to Gojo's house, just to talk about what had happened the last few months, both of them in a way opened up to you, saying how much they were now worried that you were going to die because of some enemy that they couldn't handle, that something could happen. tear you away from them, they couldn't handle it.
The though of lost You forever
Or that you could run away...
All of this wasn't a lie, not at all, they feel that way, but Geto and Gojo left several things out, all with the intention of not scaring you so much, but in all the whirlwind of emotions, they let out several terrifying things.
and honestly it's kind of creepy.
but at the same time you realize the situation you are in. alone with the two of them. in the Gojo clan house. probably with Megumi and the twins sleeping peacefully somewhere. with both waiting to see what your next action is in this regard.
and you honestly don't know what to do. I say, these are the strongest Jujutsu sorcerers, even if you are strong, what chance do you have of going against them?
And more importantly.....would it be that bad? In part they are right (or you think they are), the world of Jujustu is ruthless. Who says that eventually you won't see all your companions die? Wouldn't it be better to leave it in favor of a more peaceful life with... them?
You weigh the pros and cons, and you just give up. much to the delight of Gojo and Geto. which is when their tendencies that you suspected come to light more. which in a way only reaffirms your decision (how bad would it have been if you had decided to refuse....).
They're both pretty clingy, but they have some traits that, like I said, contrast each other's negative points and make them a good Yandere combo to have.
Gojo, for example, is a fairly insensitive yandere on his own, or that although he cares about your feelings, he is bad at identifying them, here comes Geto, who helps him be more empathetic with the situation and above all be more patient with you.
e.g. When you first came to "move" with them, if it had been Gojo, the process would have been much faster, but thanks to Geto it was more "pleasant" and he got to know you much better to understand your standards and fit into them. This Yandere Gojo understands better that you are A PERSON unlike the, so to speak, "Canon Yandere Gojo".
Geto is nicer, but he is obsessive and a little delusional when you are already with both of them, something that does not happen with Gojo (at least at the beginning), although he is more in tune with your emotions than Gojo, sometimes he is not in tune with certain needs as a result of your context.
For example, at first he doesn't quite understand why you should inform your family that you are "moving" with them, because in Geto's eyes, they are your family. but Gojo (surprisingly) is the voice of reason and tries to explain your behavior with the fact that you don't want your family to worry, nothing more(translation: You don't want to leave them)
Since the two of them are in this together, they tend to use a certain Good Cop/Bad Cop dynamic, but more like the Indulgent Yandere and Overprotective Yandere type of dynamic. You can't completely blame them after what happened to them with Riko.
Needless to say, you're not a Sorcerer anymore. but at the same time you have a much more powerful position than before, I mean, you are the fiancee of The Strongest's, Suguru Geto and Satoru Gojo. You are safe from any target that the big fish may try, for the peace of mind of both of them(and kinda you)
and in a way, it's nice. Mimiko and Nanako keep you company constantly, asking you to play with them, tell them stories, do their hair, etc. quite domestic moments that you feel you've been missing somehow.
Megumi passes by from time to time too, but he is more distant, you understand, but he is a polite boy, apart from if Gojo or Geto are not there (which is strange) he will ask you for help to understand some writing or task, even techniques, well you will have left your career in half, but you're still useful.
If you try to leave without permission, there would be no consequence as such, you would not even be very far from the state until Gojo or Geto (mainly Geto) intercept you. Geto usually takes this as an opportunity to walk together around the state and hear you tell him about your day. Gojo would simply take it as some kind of game, as if you had played hide and seek and he had "found" you.
They are jealous, but their jealousy is not born from a lack of trust in you, ever, but rather a lack of trust in others. You are never to blame for anything.
They have definitely killed those who have tried anything with you after they have you. They just never do it in front of you. although you can assume it when only one of them goes to sleep early with you and the other arrives in the early morning while you listen to the shower tap.
Neither of them like (and in fact, hate), the idea of hurting you, physically or mentally, as I said before, they are much more patient together than apart, so they are willing to wait for you and for you to completely open up to them again.
which leads to time passing, you accepting your situation and Even findind a balance between You and them(which is somehow healty), however falling into a great depression. do not misunderstand! You love your husbands, however it has been a long, long time since you have seen anything but the Gojo State ground and four walls and it is quite depressing.
Obviously they notice this change in attitude, and they are not happy, yes, they want you to be safe, but above all they want you to be happy with them, so, again, they put together a little plan.
One day you see them strangely smiling, while they simply accompany you in your daily activities, at meals, and at some point they convince you to go to sleep earlier than usual. Why? The only response you get at the time is a "secret🤫" sign.
You go to sleep, but in the middle of the morning (it still seems like night) you feel them tenderly waking you up, you know it's them, but you have no idea what they are planning in the middle of the night. Geto and Gojo carry you to either of their cars and leave the state, much to your surprise.
When you ask them where they are going, they simply respond in unison "wherever you want" and you are... shocked, but you can see that it's not a joke. and a very warm feeling blooms again.
They were out most of the morning, going to the places that were open (which being Japan, there were not a few), cute cafes, McDonald's (Gojo's fault), going crazy around in the car, floating with Gojo's infinity or in the Geto's rainbow dragons--
buying slushies at a 7/11 (Geto can't stand the cold much, but he overcomes it for you, Gojo laughs at the expression in his face when he freeze his brain), watching a movie, and before you know it, the sun is already rising.
They stay and watch for a while, while they just talk nonsense or something like that, you're just absorbing all of this while you can, as if this will never happen again.
Geto and Gojo look at you in silence, enjoying seeing the shine in your eyes again, but simultaneously doubt arises in both of them: how are they going to tell you to return home now that you are so happy? and honestly they didn't think much about what to do after this...
but suddenly Geto says that they could make this a monthly thing, since it really was something fun, and that it would be a shame not to repeat it.
Gojo (still somewhat surprised by the improvisation) agrees, Socercer's life is hard, he needs at least once a month to spend it with his two favorite people, right?
You know they're serious when they look at you smiling, and you nod vigorously (you're so shocked by this new but welcome change that you can't even speak).
That's how it is decided, shortly after you fall asleep again, Gojo carries you to the car.Geto and Gojo look at each other, touched by your sleeping figure.
They know they made the right choice. like you.
Shares, reglogs, and comments are very welcome!
#headcanons#fem reader#neutral reader#jjk x y/n#jjk spoilers#jjk gojo#jjk season 2#jjk x reader#tw yandere#yandere#yandere gojo#yandere geto#yandere satoru gojo#yandere suguru geto#yandere jujutsu kaisen#jjk#soft yandere#tw manipulation#tw killing#gojo x reader#geto x reader#gojou satoru x reader#jujustu kaisen geto#jujutsu kaisen gojo#getou suguru x reader#fluff#i just suck at making mean yanderes#i love soft yanderes#the final is somewhat meh#satosugu
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What are some random headcanons that come to your mind about Stalker Geto and Priest Toji? Both nsfw and sfw are welcome 😌
LURK | GETŌ SUGURU
✮ tags. . fem reader, stalker!getō, canon au, 18+ mdni ꒱₊˚⊹ divider credits. — playlist.
✮ wc. . 1.1k
✮ notes. i had to physically restrain myself from making this a whole fic, lord have mercy. what have you done to me? i'd like to explore this au more in the future and i'll be talking about toji in another post but give me time bc i need to recover from this.
the thing is, he justifies everything he does. he knows exactly the order of your coffee, and he sneaks into your apartment at night for the same reason: your good. he's just looking out for you, let him take care of you.
Satoru manages to get his friend to finally admit it.
"It's not being in love," he says. "I just admire her. she's strong." that's all, he assures him.
Despite Satoru trying, and provoking him with the situation, laughing in his face and joking about it, Satoru fails to make Suguru break down and admit it. Suguru inwardly recognizes that it's nothing more than a fleeting admiration that will pass soon, he's nothing more than infatuated with you and the way you deal with problems, kill curses, talk to people. He likes that about you, he doesn't like you, there is an abysmal step between one and the other— He tries to reason with himself.
However, he can't help but slide his eyes over you as if it's a must every time you enter the room, he doesn't know and hasn't asked Satoru if he feels it too but there is a magnetism to which he is attracted when you enter the room. He stops talking suddenly, clenches his jaw and Satoru notices the muscles tense —of course he does it with those all-seeing eyes—, before he can turn around in search of what his friend is admiring, Suguru speaks again, pushing the oval glasses on the tip of his nose up with his middle finger to cover his eyes completely and watch you in peace.
Oh, you're cute. He has to bite his lip and fake a laugh at something obviously not funny so his friend won't notice. He slyly looks you up and down, your hair is tousled, he imagines you running out of your house, leaving your phone behind and having to come back to get it because you're always early, that's why he's here.
But it's 10:48AM, he checks his wristwatch before returning to Satoru. You're forty minutes late and the thought makes him frown. Before he can stop the train of thought he's thinking about you, and the scenarios that could have happened to keep you from being early. You are always on time. He knows that.
You catch him looking, not really. You don't know because you can't see his gaze, but Suguru knows you're watching him out of the corner of your eye and with the sunglasses in between serving as a shield, he lets himself immerse in you without being overwhelmed by the fear that he'll be caught. You glance sideways at him again and soon flee to the table before you weighing up the idea of whether you should have tea or coffee.
You go for coffee, of course. With three sugar cubes, a pinch of cinnamon powder and a spoonful of honey. He's realized for a while now that he's good at those things, at remembering things you do, at remembering your coming and going patterns, how you take your coffee, the wrinkles your nose makes when you laugh, how uncomfortable you feel in your uniform sometimes, how dirty your shoes almost always are.
He sees you pick up honey and a spoon and it makes him smile. Next to him, Satoru laughs.
"Man. You really like her."
At some point Satoru moved to his side to look at you from the same point of view as Suguru. You turn to catch both teachers staring at you, suguru purses his lips into an awkward smile and raises his hand to wave at you. Satoru on the other hand, yells at you as if you’re not a few feet away from them and calls out euphorically with his hand for you to come closer. Suguru knows he is going to try to do something to leave you two alone talking and only this time Suguru allows it.
With coffee in hand you approach them both. His heart is about to burst out of his rib cage, his muscles tense as if ropes were squeezing them, he licks his upper lip looking to moisten his mouth and when you are in front of him he inhales slyly, you smell as if you have just stepped out of the shower, fresh, sweet, maybe that is the reason for your disheveled hair, maybe that is the reason for your tardiness.
And well, maybe he did have a crush, he could admit that to himself at least. A crush that would die soon, because Suguru wasn't one to date the same person for too long, people made him lose interest fast and he knows it would be the same with you.
That was two weeks ago. It's just a crush, he keeps repeating himself.
You're just his co-worker, another teacher, he tells himself. He's doing this for your sake.
He was supposed to check your apartment, exorcise a curse he saw slipping through a window as he walked past your place early in the morning, it's all a funny coincidence that he was in the right place, at the right time really and he decides to sneak out because he wants to look after you, that's all. He was going to come in and out and not touch anything, the sound of rain coming from the bathroom tells him that you'll be early for Jujutsu High today and he should get out of there soon. It's just that he didn't plan to find the red thong laid out as an offering for him on the bed, next to your pillow.
Suguru bites his cheek hard, his teeth that make him bleed control him just a little, the pain brings him lucidity but not enough to stop him when he takes two long strides to the bed. As if in a stupor he stands rigid on the edge of the bed contemplating the fabric that glistens with a wet trace in the center.
Suguru stretches out his fingers as instructed and takes it in his hand. Trembling he brings it to his nose and inhales shamelessly, his breathing heard in the four silent walls. His chest aches, his heart pounding. It smells like you, and he rubs the tip of his nose on it, closes his eyes, his long eyelashes flutter and all the blood rushes to his cock, he's so hard he can't think.
He flutters his eyes open returning to the warmth of your apartment, to the dull noise caused by a silent house, he hears footsteps upstairs from the neighbors or maybe it's yours because he no longer hears the water falling and without wasting time he puts the thong in the pockets of his uniform pants. There is another place where he should be now.
He was supposed to be in the teacher's room first when you arrived, he was going to see you earlier today and that's what matters most to him right now.
#cw dark content#stalker geto#wr#geto drabbles#jjk drabbles#geto x reader#geto x you#geto x y/n#geto smut#geto suguru x reader#geto suguru x you#geto suguru x y/n#geto suguru smut
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If Hades raised Nico and Bianca Part 9
It's important to note that all these headcanons of Hades and Persephone raising them are based on this fic. I love it with all my heart and I treat it as canon.
Nico, frustrated: AAAAAIISSHH!!!
Persephone: Niccoló? What's wrong? What happened?
Nico: It doesn't look pretty
Persephone: Hm? *looks over and sees a flower crown* Nico, did you make this?
Nico: Yeah. I wanted to make it for Mammina's mama.
Persephone: You wanted to make it for my mother?
Nico: Mhm. I don't want her to hate me.
Persephone: Bambino, what makes you think she'll hate you?
Nico: Well, papa said your mama doesn't like him very much. And you always say I look just like papa.
Persephone: Oh, Nico...I'm sure she'll love you.
---
Persephone, introducing Nico and Bianca: Mother, this is Bianca and Niccoló. They are our children.
Bianca: Hello :)
Nico: Hi, Ms. Demeter
Demeter, looking at Bianca: Well, aren't you beautiful? A beautiful little flower. No doubt will grow into one just as beautiful, if not more.
Bianca: Thank you, Ms. Demeter.
Nico:
Demeter, looking at Nico: And you...
Nico:
Demeter: You look just like your father
Nico: *plays with the hem of his shirt and hides behind Persephone*
Persephone: It's okay, Nico. It's alright. *kneels down to look at him* Why don't you give her what you made for her?
Nico: *slowly walks up to Demeter and shyly shows her the flower crown he made.*
Demeter: *takes it and looks at it then at Nico* How precious. It's a beatiful crown, little one. Thank you
Nico: ...welcome.
Demeter: And you both have the kindest eyes I've seen.
Nico: Thank you
Bianca: Thank you
Demeter: Anyone would be lucky enough to see such kind eyes from death.
#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackson and the olympians#incorrect quotes#persephone#nico di angelo#bianca di angelo#demeter#hades#hades video game
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Introducing a new Danny Phantom Hanukkah event, Eight Ecto Nights!
What: An eight day Danny Phantom prompt calendar celebrating Hanukkah! See here for what's Hanukkah?
When: Thursday December 7- Thursday December 14, the span of Hanukkah*
Where: Use the tag #eight ecto nights 2023, posts will be reblogged to this blog
Rules:
• You do not have to be Jewish to participate, all are encouraged! If you're concerned about doing something respectfully, feel free to reach out to me, I'm always available to answer questions.
• Headcanons welcome! This event is not restricted to the show's few canonically Jewish characters. However, there is no erasing the Jewishness of those characters
○ ie you can make a headcanon/au where Paulina's family is Jewish, but not one where Sam's isn't
○ The canonically Jewish characters are the Mansons: Sam, her parents Jeremy and Pamela, her grandmother Ida, and her presumably passed great-grandfather Izzy
• Angst and crossovers both allowed, but must be tagged properly. If you have questions about tagging guidelines, please reach out
○ If you are not Jewish, I would advise caution when considering telling a story about the experience or effects of antisemitism
You do not have to do all eight, do whichever and however many speak to you! However, if you do complete all eight nights, you will receive a small prize of art or a short ficlet!
The Prompts:
1) Fire - Thursday Dec 7
2) Laughter - Friday Dec 8
3) Fried Foods - Saturday Dec 9
4) Giving - Sunday Dec 10
5) Community - Monday Dec 11
6) Games - Tuesday Dec 12
7) Identity - Wednesday Dec 13
8) Light - Thursday Dec 14
With special thanks to @jus-a-lil-mouse and @glow-and-vamp for helping me put this event together, y'all are the real mvps
*technically it's nightfall of the 7th through nightfall of the 15th, but these are the days we light hanukkias at night, so for simplicity, the 7th-14th is when we're holding this event!
#danny phantom#dp events#z.txt#sam manson#ida manson#pamela manson#jeremy manson#eight ecto nights 2023#eight ecto nights
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꧁ rage's writing masterlist ꧂
welcome! please find all of my writing below. i have tried valiantly to keep track of all my drabbles as well, but i'm still figuring out this formatting thing, so it's going to be a bit while i figure out what works for me! thanks for reading :)
DISCLAIMER: all of my writing contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor or ageless blog, please kindly leave my page.
Eren Jaeger
ti penso ogni giorno (a collection)
a collection of one-shots set in a modern au that spans nearly 10 years of your relationship with the cute boy you met at a party in college.
much ado about nothing (ongoing series)
plug!eren enters the life of our stressed out, literature student reader just when she least expects him. in true shakespearean fashion, chaos ensues. strangers to fwb to idiots in love.
scary dog privilege (one-shot)
you enlist eren as your fake boyfriend for connie’s birthday party, unable to face your ex, jean, without the help of your best friend. you forgot one crucial thing, though: where jean’s all bark, eren’s all bite.
Jean Kirchstein
pretty girl (one-shot)
your new boyfriend jean is pretty much perfect, except when it comes to your incredibly vanilla sex life. you make the mistake of underestimating him.
Reiner Braun
a girl is a gun (canon-divergent series, ao3 only for now)
after years of bloodshed and distance, evin finley reconnects with her childhood friend, reiner braun. they’ve both changed over the years, but the string that ties them together seems to have survived the wars they’ve faced. when secrets about evin’s past start to come to light after eren jaeger’s raid on liberio, reiner finds out whether or not love truly is the death of duty.
Multi-Character
aot faves as dads (headcanons)
just my favorite boys with their precious little ones in another, happier life.
three’s a… (poly!erejean uni)
you and eren have been getting more adventurous in the bedroom and roping jean into your adventures. jean’s way too in his head about the whole thing.
show off (poly!erejean uni)
eren notices that you and jean have a bit of a crush on one another. he helps you act out your fantasy.
cabin in the woods (poly!erejean uni)
you and the boys head up to jean's mountain cabin to celebrate the one-year anniversary adding jean into your relationship with eren
drabble masterlist
sometimes i literally just never shut up and sometimes i play ask games so find the result of both of those things linked here.
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My headcanons for mike & co
Vito
Co-host w/ Mike from ages 14-16
Mentally 18-19 ish
System big brother
Handles a lot of the family issues
The one who steps up fr
Sexual Protector Alter
Trauma Holder, but doesnt have a full picture of their trauma
Sexualizes self for attention
Just a cool guy if u get to know him
Wishes he was more built irl lol
He was the one dating their first girlfriend
She didnt know about their DID, both Mike and Vito would rather keep that private
Wants a normal life
Also held down their first job (semi-canon)
He gives a shit but can be emotionally reserved
He doesn’t hate Mal, he just finds him frustrating
A bit of a troublemaker but not out of wanting bad for the system, it’s just the way he is
Creeped out by Mal, thats why he doesn’t like him
Secretly holds grudges but doesn’t tell them unless he’s picking a fight
Kinda a pothead
Chester
Mentally 60s-70s
No specific trauma memories, but he was split from trauma
Has never been the host but he switches in quite often
One of the first alters to have been discovered by their psych
At first the psych thought they were faking just cause of how theatrical Chester was, and how much it annoyed Mal
The psych thought they were faking to get out of juvie
Not to help, Mal said it was a “voice in his head” and would talk to him out loud, not caring who heard
He’s not an introject, but they don’t know why he’s old
He just is who he is
They don’t know why he has a scar over his eye, they presume there’s a trauma reason for it but nobody has any memory of something bad happening to their eye
He feels like he’s a grandfather to Mike, but the feeling’s not reciprocated
Not yet at least
Mike learns to love him
He gets annoyed by Chester still but he finds him more endearing
He likes his hot beverages and pastries
And yelling at the tv
He finds commenting on everything so entertaining
He’s co-con 80% of the time
He finds fronting to be physically exhausting, like it makes him physically feel his age
Has chronic pain in his hips and joints, his psych says it’s phantom pain
He loves his psych, he could go on for hours
He loves little kitty cats! There has never been a cat he couldn’t pet
He wishes he was more welcome when visiting nursing homes, he feels lonely but they don’t like his “portrayal” of an old man
He had gotten kicked out before
Actually, he gets kicked out of places quite often
He has health anxiety and constantly thinks he’s going to fall ill and die
His doctor is so fed up
He believes so many wives tales and basically you can tell him anything and he will believe you (unless he’s in a mood, then he’s just going to shout at you)
Mal
Ambigious early childhood to age 13 host
Mentally shifts between 13 to 17
Persecutor/Protector
Mainly a physical protector, kind of the mind’s back up plan for when things get rough and he needs to protect himself or take action
Holds most of the memory of the physical abuse
Split directly for that reason
He was one of the first
Hates his parents and tries to cause problems as a revenge for all the abuse he endured
Sadistic for this reason
He knew from a very young age that nobody was coming to save him, and they never did
Telling all the trauma he knew about in a court ordered psychiatric evaluation was the main reason he got diagnosed, but he was hoping it was going to put his parents in prison
It didnt
He was originally going to be diagnosed with ASPD before they scrapped that for just a DID diagnosis, mainly because his symptoms were too mixed and inconsistent due to the other alters existing
He still agrees ASPD fits him though and after TDAS he does more specific treatments for it in therapy
They do get diagnosed with ODD though
Basically everyone but Svetlana shows symptoms for it
Mal has it the worst because he has so much pent up hatred from everyone who hurt or failed him
And he only gets the bare minimum when he takes it into his own hands, but its better than nothing
Really clashed with Zoey at first but he was the one to make her understand them more, in his own roundabout way
Actually became close friends with Zoey even if they have their conflicts
Mike
Same age as body
Kinda bigender tbh but he’s not ready for that
Thinks he should be the one to call all the shots because he thinks hes the original
Hes not, there is none
Doesn’t have a lot of childhood memories
Nobody tells him about their trauma
Besides Mal when he’s trying to prove a point
He hates Mal because Mal threatens his sense of control
He overcompensates, being a system scares him so if he’s in charge he will be able to make sure everything’s ok
Just finally coming out of denial, still half in it
He hates being a system
Rude to his alters!!!
After All Stars, he sees his psych again who scolds him
And teaches him to accept his disorder
He does better
He compromises more, he learns that his alters are people too, he adapts to his multiplicity and eventually is the key to achieving functionality between all of them
He struggles to accept Mal, because of his persecutory nature, but he learns why Mal does what he does and with a little work from them both they are able to compromise
Mal has to grow and learn too don’t get me wrong
Svetlana
Same age as body
Transbian
Doesn’t mind being a system tbh
She likes the company
Hosts for short periods but only for upcoming competitions really because its hard for her to pretend to be a singlet
She doesn’t like hiding who she is, she’s way more open about her DID than the others are
She wishes she has more girl friends to talk with but they all know her as mike or mal :(
Total sporty girl she is multi talented in soooo many sports
Gymnastics is her fav obv
Why she has an accent? Who knows? Possibly an introject or maybe shes just like that but as far back as they remember she was there
They are all confused
Has good childhood memories, trauma free
She definitely loved recess and fronted a lot during the school years
Loves making friends, shes very social and kind!!
She’s also the most understanding and gives the best advice
Very emotional and it can be quite theatrical, on par with chester
She’s the one who gets along the most with their parents
Picky eater
She likes to eat clean and hates that the other alters eat meat because she finds it soooo gross
Has her own separate drawer in their dresser for her clothes
Bird lover and has owned pet birds before
Manitoba
Introject, half indiana jones-half steve irwin
Not a fusion he was just made like that
30s-40s
The most recent split
Has a fleshed out part of the interworld including NPCs (like his wife) and spends most of his time there (semi-canon)
He doesn’t prefer to front, he just found total drama fun to compete in
Dreams of traveling the world
Really longs for his innerworld to be real
Tries to keep everyone in line
Wishes they would be less trouble
He doesn’t side with anyone, which makes Mike very angry but he can also see a side to Mal that Mike can’t
He’s the most logical and level headed one
Loves collecting things especially memorabilia from places he’s been
He knows so many animal facts and just general knowledge
It makes Mike feel stupid cause he doesn’t know all that but its in his brain, it confused him how that works still
#total drama#td mal#td mike#td svetlana#total drama island#td manitoba#total drama all stars#total drama mike#total drama revenge of the island#td chester#mikes system hcs#mike system hcs#mike td#mike & co#mike total drama
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hot & heavy
epilogue: our love is going gold
neighbor!joel x f!reader
series masterlist
series rating: E (18+ MDNI)
series summary:
over the course of three summers, joel miller becomes woven into your life. the first summer is spent falling for him; nannying his daughter and sneaking around with him in a burning love affair. you know how you feel about joel, he isn’t so sure about how it all is gonna work. the second summer is brief. a month spent at home after graduation and before you move to boston for your dream job. one look at you, one time hearing your voice, and joel is hooked again. he pines over you for that month, but you think — how is long distance of over a thousand miles going to work for a single dad? the third summer, you return home burnt out and pride bruised from your post-grad life. you need time to feel at home again, like your complete self, so you’ve come back home with no return ticket booked. it’s only a matter of time before joel seeks you out, slowly spending more time with you. without an inevitable end to the summer looming over you both, what chances are you willing to take?
word count: 17.2k (but she's done. like done, done.)
warnings (**SPOLIERS**): NO OUTBREAK (don’t need to worry about the mushies), no use of y/n, inexperienced reader, age gap (joel is 30/31, reader is 22), canon-divergent (sarah is now 10 y/o), nanny au, pet names (sweetheart, darling, sweet girl, mariposa, etc.), established relationship, engagement, marriage, alcohol, eating, very lovey romantic, polite southern manners, spanish/spanglish cause joel is latino, soft joel, domestic joel, WIFE!! GUY!! JOEL!!, discussion of parenting, step-parenting, struggles with conceiving, negative self talk and image, smut, soft dom joel, fingering, oral (f receiving), joel worships the ground his wife walks on and also her body, praise, unprotected p in v (they're tryna get pregnant, not you!), breeding kink, sort of nursing kink? joel is briefly obsessed with your tits and makes comments, mating press, a flash of cumplay, the BRIEFEST mention of daddy kink, joel really wants to give his wife a baby, pregnancy, a mention of giving birth, girl dad joel, CUTE FAMILY!!!
also this is the song mentioned <3 it's a fave of mine and i think very joel & mari
a/n: this has been a doozy but happy to hand this over to y'all. this is simply what i envisioned for their future, and if you had different thoughts, i would love to hear them! <3 or if you have any headcanons for their life beyond this, drop them in my inbox! this fic and these characters are my children and i love them very much. will probably keep them alive somehow. and thank you to everyone who's read this series, you are all so special to me and have sincerely made me feel so much more confident in my writing!
as always, thank you thank you thank you @northernbluess for beta-ing, couldn't do it without you! and this extremely long ending is dedicated to el and kiwi @kiwisbell you are my hype people fr
i feel like i need to say like signing off on h&h now lol so this is me doing that & closing the book!
** this is set over three additional summers post-main story **
first of many
After the holidays, it was an easy decision to move in with Joel and Sarah. The Millers had joined your family for their annual, lowkey celebrations; spending Christmas Eve with Joel and Sarah, it was a treat to witness him playing Santa after Sarah had gone to bed. Only a few curses under his breath putting together the new dollhouse she’d requested from St Nick, the other presents from her father, and your gifts to her carefully wrapped under the tree. The two of you split the plate of cookies while watching A Christmas Story, you and Joel taking turns mumbling the words to the iconic scenes under your breaths.
The next morning, your heart was overwhelmed with the love that you hold for this family that has welcomed you in and made you a part of it. Sarah gifted you a photo frame that she’d made at school, painted with flowers and butterflies, and a photo of the three of you from the trip to the apple orchard you’d taken that fall. Once Sarah was occupied with her new treasures, gifts were exchanged between you and Joel. Requesting to gift first, you stand up from the couch and tiptoe around Sarah and her new dolls sprawled across the floor to the front hall closet and retrieve a brand new, custom acoustic guitar.
Sitting back with him, guitar placed into his hands and his eyes combing over it, his lips part with a gasping breath when he notices in the inlay of ‘SME’ for his daughter’s name, Sarah Elena.
“The old one in the corner of your room was lookin’ a little worse for wear, and I hadn’t seen you play it in a while…” you trail off in the silence, waiting for his response, “Do you—do you like it? Is it the right kind? I tried to match it the best I could to the one upstairs.”
“Oh, Mari baby, I love it. It’s beautiful, thank you so much…” He shakes his head, taking another sighing exhale in appreciation as he turns it in his hands. “Hadn’t played the other one 'cause it wasn’t quite playable anymore. Restrung it a few too many times, the wood was warped from some water damage. The perils of having a toddler around years ago. This is…it’s perfect, Mariposa.”
You beam, shifting in your seat and anxiously fiddling with your fingers. Joel sets the instrument down next to him carefully, turning back to you. He leans in, kissing you delicately and whispering another ‘thank you’ against your lips, “Guess m’gonna have to serenade you now.”
“Oh, yeah, J. I expect one nightly,” you playfully respond, kissing him again before he pulls away, his turn to stand from his place on the couch.
He wanders over to the tree, plucking the last wrapped gift from under it, and returning to sit next to you. Handing over the small rectangular box, you unwrap it gingerly, glancing at Joel’s knee bouncing. You gently set your hand on it, smiling at him which he returns, biting his lip to channel his jittery energy. Opening the box, you’re met with the shining gold links of a beautiful charm bracelet. Your eyes wander over the small icons, feeling your chest tighten with love as you take them all in: A small ‘S’ with a ruby-colored stone at each end of the curve, a matching ‘J’ with a sapphire embedded into it right next to the ‘S; there’s a tiny gold key, nearly identical to the one he had given to you those three summers before for your job that started it all; a tiny set of longhorn antlers that is reminiscent of home; a lighthouse that reminds you of one you visited while living in Boston, a day you had documented and sent Joel some of the photos in the mail to recap your time. It was a day you had been happy there, and it made your heart ache that he remembered that. The last charm on the bracelet is a butterfly, bejeweled with kelly green stones, the color of the leaves that you told him were your favorite years ago. The ache in your chest is worked out of its knot with Joel’s hand at your back, a gasping breath as you blink back tears.
Clearing your throat, your watery smile has a flash of worry crossing his eyes before you hand him the bracelet you’ve taken out of the box, lightly requesting, “Will you put it on for me?”
Joel nods shyly, taking the dainty piece in his hands, and hooking the clasp around your wrist after a few tries. You both admire it, your smile growing wider and his matching yours.
“Merry Christmas, Mari baby. I love you.”
“Merry Christmas, J. I love you, too.”
Now, months later, the bracelet on your wrist glints in the sun as you hold onto Sarah’s hand, letting her lead you around the atrium filled with butterflies. Spending the day at the same farm you three had visited summers ago, and had kept up with the tradition with the summers following, you picked an abundance of strawberries, wandered through the nature paths, and now ending the day at the youngest Miller’s favorite spot.
Sarah wildly points out the different types of butterflies, the encyclopedia book of the insect’s species that you had gifted her for Christmas coming in handy for today as she reads the small signs of each patterned, winged creature, adding in her tidbits that she remembers. A grin stays plastered on your face as you listen intently, paying no mind to Joel trailing behind the two of you.
Giving your lessons on the flora that you know of in the gardens, Sarah listens to you as well. Stopping in front of the small waterfall, surrounded by tropical plants and flowers, the two of you go back and forth in fun facts about plants and butterflies, unaware as Joel saddles up behind you. Sarah glances back over her shoulder and grins, the expression reading as knowing and mischievous. Before turning around, you start to warn Joel behind you playfully, “J, if you’re even thinking about pushing me or splashing me, I will ki—”
Your breath catches when you finally face him, eyes dropping to meet his; the backpack he’d be adamant about carrying all day is at his feet, unzipped, and in his hands is a small, forest-green velvet box. Joel rests on one knee, a soft but bright, devoted smile on his face.
“Oh my god…” It comes from your lips as a whisper, your free hand reaching up to cover your mouth while the other continues to tether you to Sarah at your side, her small giggle hitting your ears as Joel glances at her, sending her a wink.
Eyes back on your face, Joel clears his throat, adjusting himself on his knee as he takes a deep breath, “I have been trying to figure out exactly what to say, and I can’t seem to find quite the right words that tell you exactly how I feel about you. I love you, so much, Mariposa. The second you entered my life, that time I saw you for only seconds in your backyard while I was touring the house, I knew I had to meet you. And then the first time I met you, well, I knew that you were who I needed.
“I’ve been walking around blind, trying to figure out life for years, and moving next door to you, that was the last piece falling into place. You have made my life, and Sarah’s life, a million times better. And while these past few years haven’t been picture-perfect for us, we made it through, and I know that we can take on anything that comes our way. Eres el alma más hermosa que he conocido, y soy muy afortunada de tenerte. (You are the most beautiful soul I have ever met, and I am so lucky to have you.) I’ve been waiting for years to do this, Mari baby, and I can’t have any more summers pass by without you being mine. Tú eres mi media naranja. (You’re my soulmate.) I love you. Te amo, Mari. You’re my soulmate, sweet girl, and I can’t take another day without the promise of forever. Will you marry me, Mariposa?”
Without hesitation, you nod your head frantically, your tears that started falling as soon as Joel started speaking continue to flow. You uncover your mouth, squeezing Sarah’s hand and sharing a smile with her before she takes her hand away.
“Yes, oh my gosh, Joel…of course, of course, I’ll marry you. I love you so much, J.” You squat down in front of him, left hand trembling as you hold it out for him. He carefully takes the ring from the box, and Sarah, ever the helper, takes it from the spot where it rests on his knee for safekeeping. The delicate gold band slips onto your finger, embellished with clusters of tiny gems and centered with an emerald cut diamond. It’s perfectly you, and you can’t wipe the smile off your face as you watch Joel settle the piece of jewelry on your finger. Both of you take a deep breath, admiring the sight before your eyes find each other’s again, matching expressions of complete admiration. Your hands find his cheeks, pulling him in for a tenderly passionate kiss, attempting to breathe all the love in your chest into the kiss and his heart. Joel pulls away first, resting his forehead against yours for a quiet moment.
“Thank you, J,” you whisper, and his head tilts with curiosity.
“For what, baby? I think I should be thankin’ you for sayin’ yes to me.” He chuckles and rubs his thumb at the back of your hand, skimming next to the band of the new addition.
“Everything. For not giving up. Your patience when I was still finding my way back to you. How effortlessly you’ve welcomed me into your life and your family…” Cheating your body away, one hand reaches out to pull Sarah into the small huddle, reuniting the moment within your unit of three, “I just—I can’t wait for all my summers to be spent with you both.”
“I can’t wait either. This is gonna be the first of many, Mari baby.”
And the two of you really couldn’t wait.
Only a week after Joel was down on one knee, your family was throwing you an engagement party. Tommy, a few of Joel’s close friends from his contracting company, your college friends, and neighbors were all in attendance to celebrate the two of you, and it was a big to-do. Drinks flowing, music playing, and food was being passed around. Everything under the warmth of a Texas night and the strung lights across the stretch of your parents’ backyard. Joel was glued to your side the entire night, hand on your back or clasped in yours, grabbing your refills and whispering in your ear to make you laugh.
“So…are all of these people coming to the wedding? ‘Cause I can count about half that I have no idea who they are.”
To that, you whispered back, “I don’t know them either, so definitely not. Unless they wanna buy us the most expensive thing on the registry.” Joel laughed, squeezing you closer — if it were even possible — and pressing a kiss to your temple.
Later, once you two were far past tipsy, Joel mumbled against your ear, barely able to get the words out without drunkenly giggling himself, “D’you think Mrs. Clarke is thinkin’ m’the one that got away?”
You couldn’t contain your laughter, bursting out in the middle of the conversation happening around you two, quickly covering your mouth as the lingering hiccups escape, “I think she’s singin’ the blues about you, Miller.”
The rest of the evening was filled with small moments between the two of you; never left alone long enough to have a full conversation on your own. Whispers of love and affection breathed out, fleeting kisses exchanged. It wasn’t until the party was over, everyone dwindled out the door and back to their homes, that you and Joel took a beat to speak to each other in more than one sentence. The early hours of the morning had crept in without anyone quite noticing, and Sarah was knocked out, brought inside to sleep in your old bedroom around 10pm when she couldn’t keep her eyes open anymore. Joel now held her in his arms, her head laying on his shoulder while the three of you walked the short distance home. After your quiet goodnight to Sarah that went unheard by her sleeping self, Joel put her down, taking off her shoes and leaving her undisturbed to sleep in her clothes.
Back in the ensuite of your, now, shared bedroom, you’re lazily getting ready for bed, movements slower and lagging from the alcohol you consumed. Joel stands behind you, facing your reflection in the mirror and giving you a smile as the exhaustion catches up to him.
“You have fun tonight, sweet girl?” His vocal cords rub together in a fry, hands finding their place on your waist and drawing you back into his chest. Littering kisses at the back of your neck, he hums contently before you affectionately shoo him off to brush his teeth while you apply your skincare.
“‘Course I did, J. Spent most of the night with you, how could I not have fun?” You grin at him from in front of your side of the double sinks, gently rubbing in your moisturizer. “Have you given any thought as to when you wanna set a date for?”
Whatever he responds is muffled by the foamy toothpaste, your face twisting in confusion before he leans over and spits out, rinsing his mouth and toothbrush. Standing back up, he rests his hip against the countertop while facing you, shrugging as he smirks slightly, “As soon as possible. Baby, I’d get married to ya in a garbage dump if it meant we could get married right this second. No puedo esperar para hacerte mi esposa. (Can’t wait to make you my wife.) And I know you don’t want that, and I want to make you happy, so whenever you want, Mari. Lo que sea que desees, lo haré realidad. (Whatever you wish for, I’ll make a reality.) But I will say, summer’s kind of our thing.”
A gentle smile stretches across your lips as you step closer, hands coming to rest on his chest and massaging your fingers gently into the muscles there, “Well, how about we do this summer? I mean, I don’t want anything fancy, just something special for us. Thought maybe we could do it here, in our backyard and my parents’. Where we met and fell in love and broke up and fell in love again and—”
“I love that idea, sweetheart. Think it’s perfect for us…” Joel punctuates his work by stealing a kiss, mint and strawberry lip balm melting on his tongue when he deepens it only for a few seconds, “Think we can manage for Labor Day weekend, mi amor?”
Nodding confidently, your hands skate up to his shoulders, pulling him down for another kiss, “I believe we just set our wedding date, Miller.”
“Damn right, we did, Miller.”
A whirlwind of planning and three months later, you now stand in your childhood bedroom on the second floor of your parent’s house, admiring yourself in the full-length mirror standing in the corner. Your mom had helped you with your hair, a small gold barette holding one side away from your face; your makeup was fairly minimal, fresh, and bright, but nothing too heavy that would melt in the heat that has graced Austin this weekend.
On your wrist is your charm bracelet from Joel, a simple gold locket to match that your father had gifted you the evening before at the rehearsal dinner — it has belonged to his grandmother, and now your grandma wanted you to have it since she couldn’t make the trip down due to her age. It was your ‘something old’ he said, playing into the old traditions that seemed to charm your entire family.
Your ‘something borrowed’ was a pair of white strappy sandals from your mom, ones that she had worn to her rehearsal dinner when she married your dad. The title of ‘something new’ belonged to the charm hanging off of your wrist that was hand-delivered to you this morning from Tommy, per the request of Joel since you both were getting ready in opposite houses. The gift box unveiled a gold lotus flower, hand painted with deep magenta petals. Inside the lid of the box was a folded note, the words written by your soon-to-be husband in his usual scrawl.
Mi amor,
Got to reading one of your books you leave around about plants, and they were talking about the lotus flower. Made me think of you — since they go back to the murky water each evening and open their blooms at the break of day. You always start fresh, sweet girl, you’re so resilient and strong and pure of heart. No matter what happens, you get through it. And you won’t have to go at it alone, baby. I’m gonna be right there with you through anything.
You make me a better man.
Te amo, mi media naranja.
J
You had to touch up your makeup after having read the note over and over for minutes straight, now fresh faced and eager to get downstairs. One last time in the mirror, you give yourself the once over, smoothing the long, full skirt of your linen dress. The ruched empire bodice lays across your chest, framing your neck with a square shape along with the cap sleeves. Simple, but it feels perfectly you. And now, you were finally on your way to get your something blue: Joel in his navy suit, waiting at the end of the aisle for you.
Everyone’s gathered in their seats, only a crowd of around forty people from your lives occupying the rows, all carefully selected to make the cut. It was easy for Joel, he had three people he wanted there for sure, and well, his daughter didn’t have a choice living right next door, plus with her dad being the groom, and you being the bride. The only chance of a wild card he had was Tommy, but he was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning despite the many shots he had the night prior. At the rehearsal dinner of all places.
Dressed and gaffed, he stands at the end of the short aisle after having walked down it hand-in-hand with Sarah, who was donning a lilac dress she picked out with your help and her hair in her natural, bouncy curls. She now sits next to Tommy in the front row, whose new girlfriend Maria is sitting on the other side of him, stealing peeks over the back of the seat to try to catch a glimpse of you at the top of the deck stairs. Joel is doing the same, eyes flickering from scanning over the crowd to tunneling at the opening of the stairs.
Music starts and it immediately tunes out of his ears, a tingle of excitement radiating from his chest throughout his body. A vision in white, you appear at the stairs with your arm linked to your dad, Mark; he isn’t paying attention to anything but you, captivated by your beauty. His heartbeat kicks up when you walk down, reaching the end of the grassy path between rows of chairs, and stopping for a moment. With the bouquet in one hand, you use the other that was resting on your dad’s arm to give him a short wave that he returns with a grin.
Each step you take brings up tears in his eyes, an overwhelming joy clenching around his heart. A few drop down his cheeks, using one of his thumbs to wipe away the streaks as you give him a gentle smile, speeding up your walk and dragging your dad along with you. The guests laugh at the eagerness, Joel rocking on the balls of his feet as he bites back his wild grin when you finally reach him. Exchanging hugs with your dad, Mark shakes Joel’s hand before clapping him on the back, a sure nod directed to him.
His hand slips into yours naturally, helping you with the last few steps to stand in front of him, exhaling a deep breath. A smile that he can’t wipe off stretches across his face, looking into your eyes as he lifts a hand to wipe his cheeks. You do the same, delicate touch against his skin while your gaze stays trained on his. Beating out of his chest, his heart thumps deeply, the wings of his butterfly fluttering madly in his gut in time with his heartbeat.
“Hey, Mari.”
“Hi, J.”
Everyone settles back in their seats, and your brother stands at the makeshift altar, a carved arbor handmade by Joel over the last few months frames the three of you in front of your guests. You turn to hand off the wildflower bouquet you put together to Sarah, eager to fulfill her responsibility of holding it during the ceremony. She grins, whispering to you loud enough for him to hear when she takes the arrangement.
“You look so pretty, Posey. I’m excited for you to marry Daddy.” Your hand reaches for her curls, squatting down in your dress to address her at eye level, unconditional love shining in your eyes as you look at his daughter.
“You look beautiful, Sare Bear. I’m so excited, too.” Other words are exchanged only between the two of you, a hug shared before Sarah retreats to her chair next to Tommy and you stand up and take Joel’s hands.
Chris ambles through an introduction, recollecting his version of events, as well as both of your sides, for how your relationship has progressed. Humor was laced throughout, laughter bubbling over throughout the crowd of guests, and especially between the two of you when you shared knowing expressions.
The ceremony moves quickly, with no religious elements to extend the length, simply secular. Before he knows it, Chris is reaching the vows, allowing a moment for Tommy to present the rings to each of you, clapping a hand on his brother’s back.
“Don’t fuck this one up, brother. Posey’s a good ‘un. Way too good for you—”
Joel cuts him off with a mumble and an eye roll, “I know all of this, Tommy, but thank you for the reminder.”
Chris directs Joel to go first, a deep inhale and extended exhale fills the air as you give his hands a reassuring squeeze. He flashes a smile at you before he drops one of your hands, finishing in his inside jacket pocket for the small slip of paper.
“I tried to memorize this, but we both know that wasn’t gonna happen…” he huffs out a nervous chuckle, reading over the page before his eyes come back to you, a patient and gentle grin on your face, “I genuinely hope you know how much I love you. I try to show you, to tell you, to make you feel it through osmosis every day, but I truly hope you can feel it. Through all that we have been through together and on our own, I have always had you in my mind. I thought about you every day you were away, and all I was hoping for was your happiness. I cannot tell you what it means that you have found your happiness with me, but I will be thanking whatever forces are out there for bringing us back together. Our roads may have been bumpy, and they may be in the future, but I’m so thankful to have you in my passenger seat. Cause we both know you don’t like to drive.” Joel winks and the crowd of guests laugh.
“I never want to let go. And I’m never going to let you go, Mariposa, I’m in it for the long run. Eres todo para mí. (You are everything to me.) You are everything I have ever asked for, hoped for, didn't think I deserved. You are…un alma tan pura (such a pure soul) and I don't know how you ended up with me, but I'm countin’ my luck every second of every day. I love you through anything, mi Mariposa, and I cannot wait for our future together, as a family. I’m so happy that you have found a place you belong with Sarah and me, and I feel so lucky that you have chosen me. Te amo, mi Mariposa. Siempre.”
Recovering from your tears, you choke out a small sob that tugs on his heartstrings, tightening his grip on your hand while his brow furrows softly in concern.
“Happy tears, I promise, J. Very happy tears.” Another sob comes with a burst of laughter, a hand of yours fanning your face. Joel reaches up, wiping away the stragglers, careful to not smudge any of your mascara. With a deep breath, you focus back, centered, offering Joel your left hand. He repeats the phrase from Chris, who recites it from his printed-out online ordainment course before slipping the simple matching gold band onto your finger above your engagement ring, ears ringing when he sees the symbol of his love and commitment on your finger, where it will stay for the rest of his time on this Earth.
Next, it was your turn to recite your vows, Chris pulled a piece of paper from his jacket and handed it to you. A giggle slips from your lips, wavering the small folded sheet, “Couldn’t memorize it either. Got too much to say…”
Joel relaxes in his stance, thumb circling the back of your palm as he listens, the butterfly wings fluttering into his chest and up to his head, love overwhelming his nervous system across his body. You clear your throat, looking up from the wrinkled white sheet, “I didn’t know that one summer spent at home would completely send me on a whole new life path, but looking back, I am eternally grateful that I wanted to mooch off my parents for as long as possible. That first summer, I fell hard and fast, and despite the obstacles, my love continued to root deeper inside of me and grow out new branches with every memory we made together. I am so lucky to have been welcomed so easily into the Miller household, and I cannot imagine my life with you or Sarah there right next to me. You both have brought so much into my life and thanks to you, J, I feel like I have truly found myself.
“I was always searching for what I was meant to do, who I was meant to be, and what I would leave behind in my life. And while I went out searching everywhere, the answer was my next-door neighbor. I am meant to be your person, I was meant to care and love and create a life with you, and your wonderful daughter, and I know I will leave behind all my love for you and our family behind. My success does not need to be measured by the reach of my impact, but by how deeply I love you. That is all that matters to me, to make you feel loved and supported and to know how incredible you are. You mean the world to me, and I love Sarah as if she were my own; both of you are my best friends and I could not do this life without you. I am so excited to spend the rest of my days, and the rest of my summers with you, J. I love you. Forever.”
The same routine goes for you, slipping a gold band around Joel’s left ring finger. He flexes with the new accessory on his hand, admiring it before he looks at you, a wide and wild grin crossing his face as he listens as Chris starts to ask him that very special question, “Joel, do you ta—”
“Absolutely I do. No question.”
Laughter rises from the attendees, and you, playfully roll your eyes. Chris nods shortly, chuckling as he turns to address you with the same question. He states your name, inquiring, “Do you ta—”
“Of course, I do. Only been waitin’ years for this to happen.”
Joel laughs, shaking his head as he mumbles a sweet agreement, “You and me both, baby.”
Chris drops the papers he was reading from next to him on the grass, clasping his hands together, “Well, that made it damn easy for me. With the power vested in me by apparently the state of Texas, but who really knows, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Now y’all can kiss finally.”
A hand presses against the small of your back, pulling you into his chest as he folds down, latching your lips to his in a deep kiss, all of his love pouring into the moment. It takes restraint to not take it further in front of everyone, your intoxicating taste drawing him in and quenching a perpetual thirst he has. You lean back first, fingertips digging into his shoulders to hold him off as you whisper, “Gotta keep some decorum until tonight, Mr. Miller.”
“Hard to do that with you, Mrs. Miller,” he rasps back, matching blindingly bright grins across your faces as you right yourself, turning to face your guests as your brother loudly announces.
“For the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Miller!”
With the low-key, intimate wedding that you both had planned together, there was no real formal separation of the ceremony and reception. Instead, everyone wandered over to the backyard of Joel’s home, which was now yours, too. There were rented tables set up with chairs around, no seating chart, and a checkered dance floor set up in the middle of the lawn. Lights have been strung from his deck to the tree at the back of the property line that holds Sarah’s tire swing, some lanterns strewn about to add more light as the sun sets in the later evening.
The family-favorite restaurant in the city that the three of you have frequented, even as friends, catered the meal, and your parents, ever so prepared, had stocked up all summer with booze. Your dad plays pretend bartender, getting your now-husband behind the tablecloth-covered folding table and pouring heavy drinks and somehow heavier shots. By sundown, everyone was liquored up enough to cheer for you both to have a first dance, chanting their request over and over.
Joel looks at you from his spot next to you, eyebrows raising in question. His hand at your back draws you closer, starting to sway to whatever song is playing as he grins with a looseness to him, relieved to have you as his for good and relaxed from the alcohol in his blood. “C’mon, Mari baby, I wanna dance with you. M’wife. I got the perfect song.”
“Okay, okay, you go tell Chris what song you want and see if he’s got it on his iPod.”
You push Joel along, giggling to yourself as he shuffles over to Chris, the makeshift DJ for the evening. Joel leans in, talking in your brother’s ear over the music currently playing. They exchange a smile and nod, Joel laying a hand on his shoulder and shaking it affectionately. His beer gets abandoned on the nearest surface, giddily running over to you and taking your hand. Impatiently, he pulls you to the center of the dance floor, and Tommy intercepts your drink before it sloshes all over the front of you, huffing out a disbelieving breath as you continue to drag behind Joel.
Your husband turns you in his arms, one hand finding your back as the other lifts your joined ones toward his shoulder, elbows bent. Everyone else clears the dancefloor as an upbeat guitar riff sounds out of the speakers surrounding the dancefloor, the bright drums kicking in as Joel starts to shuffle the two of you around the dancefloor, a swing to your movements again.
The familiar lyrics of Orleans’ Still the One that Joel has sung to you many times over the last year are recited right back to you, making you reminisce about the time you were driving in the car to pick up Sarah from camp, a rare afternoon that both of you had off together. The song had come onto Joel’s favorite classic rock station, perking him up in his seat as he turned the volume dial up.
“Oh, Mari baby, this is such a great song.”
Not as familiar with it, you listen, giggling as he sings along with his words pointed at you, and you had to admit, they were pretty sickly sweet. Ever since then, Joel got into the habit of singing it to you, learning to play it after he received his new guitar from you at Christmas.
Dancing with him now, under the sticky heat of the tail end of Texan summer, surrounded by family and friends, he makes you feel as if it’s only the two of you again like it was for every other moment before with this same song.
In your ear, he sings along only for you, pulling away and twirling you as y’all take over the entire dancefloor with how free and loose you’re playing it. “You’re still the one that makes me laugh…still the one that’s my better half…we’re still havin’ fun and you’re still the one.”
At the next chorus, you join him in singing along, laughing at his excitement, both of you singing along louder. The song reaches the guitar solo, and Joel takes both of your hands, swinging you out from his chest before pulling you back in; he spins you to cross your arms in front of you, and your back to his chest before twirling you out. On the last line, when the final word is dragged out, he wraps his arms around you, spinning both of you around until the final chord strikes, setting you down and chests heaving to catch your breaths. Wide smiles still find your open mouths, cheers and whistles from the guests gathered around the dancefloor, now filling the checkered floor as the next song plays.
Breathless, Joel grins madly, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly before asking, “Think we did pretty damn good for unplanned, don’t you, Miller?”
“Damn right, we did, Miller.”
The rest of the evening was all the same, a night spent with your closest family and friends all celebrating the two of you and your love. Both you and Joel shared a dance with Sarah separately, relishing in her unbridled joy and Joel comforted his daughter when she shed a few tears about how happy she was. Your dad pulled you for a short jaunt around the dancefloor, and Joel asked your mom for a dance, which she accepted happily as a stand-in for his mom.
More drinks flowed into glasses and out of bottles, your shoes kicked off and Joel’s jacket and tie discarded onto the back of a chair somewhere. Your cheeks ached from how much you were smiling and laughing the whole time, a weight lifted, the promise of forever with your favorite person now on its way to being a reality.
You both ceremoniously cut the small single-tiered cake that your mom ordered, serving the slice on a plate. Grabbing a piece with your hands, you cheers it with Joel’s, watching as his went into his mouth and laughing as yours went across his cheek. He feigned shock, shaking his head as he looked at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes, taking a step closer. A turn on the ball of your foot directs you in an attempt to get away; failing miserably, misstepping from your level of drunkenness, Joel catches you in his arms. Turning you back around to face him, he steals a purposefully sloppy kiss, buttercream smearing against your lips and chin, the taste of vanilla coating your tongue as it melts into the taste of Joel, whiskey, beer, and sugary sweetness from the dessert.
At the very end of the night, most guests in cabs home or retreat to their homes down the street, it’s left to your closest people. The last song of the night is announced by Chris, the same song that has come up again and again for the two of you trilling over the speakers. Everyone dances and sings along to American Pie, the perfect cyclical moment for the two of you, and the closing moment of your summer. Sarah dances with the two of you, laughing as Joel twirls her around, infectious smiles on their faces.
Your heart grows in your chest, nearly to the point of bursting as you take a step back in your mind, taking in all of the moment as it surrounds you. In the backyard of your new house, the next chapter of your life starts with Joel and Sarah; right next door is your childhood home, full of love and memories with your parents and brother. Even through the hardships, these places and people have never stopped feeling like home.
The song finishes with a flourish, Joel tucking you into his chest after he scoops Sarah into his arms with a soft groan. Sarah lays her head on her dad drowsily and he presses a kiss to her forehead, mirroring the same on yours; a mumble against your skin is barely heard by you, his drawl exaggerated by the liquor, “Mi Mariposa y mariposita. My lil’ Bug. Love my girls so much.”
Tommy slides sleepy Sarah into his arms from Joel after you two say goodnight to her, the younger Miller brother already prepared the arrangement for her to stay at his on the night of your wedding. You reassure her the promise to meet at Waffle House in the morning, which will likely be the afternoon with the state of the adults. Maria, the designated driver, and Tommy, much closer to sober than drunk than you were expecting, send another congratulations your way before they’re off to the car with Sarah.
After the necessary sweep of cleaning is done between you two and your immediate family, food, drink, and lanterns gathered, they part ways, taking everything back to theirs to deal with in the morning along with striking down the tables, chairs, and dancefloor. In the quiet of the early morning hours, you and Joel stand with your arms around each other, swaying gently. Cheek to chest, Joel’s voice rasps from overuse, vibrating your ear pressed against him, “Was it what you wanted, sweet girl?”
“Everything and more, J. I loved it,” you say as you pull your head away, tilting your chin to look into his eyes, “And I love you, m’husband.”
“I love you more, m’wife.” He shakes his head, biting a smile back, “Don’t think m’ever gonna get tired of callin’ you that, Mari.”
“Me neither. Gonna be callin’ you my husband instead of usin’ your name,” you flirt as your smirk grows and he wiggles his eyebrows, hand drifting down to the curve of your ass.
“Guess we better test that theory, baby.” He grins as he bends his knees, lifting you over his shoulder. His other hand rests on your ass to balance you, your hands pressing against his lower back as you shriek slightly from the initial shock. “Want the whole neighborhood to know m’your husband now. Even if they weren’t invited, so you better be loud, m’gorgeous wife.”
He walks you both up the stairs and through the backdoor, your snort echoing in the quiet of the night, pulling out the ol’ faithful from the early days with him, “Yes, sir.”
second nature
“What do you think about getting a dog?” you ask from your seat on the bed, propped up against the headboard with a book in your lap. Joel pops his head out from the en-suite, brow quirked as he continues to towel off his hair and laugh softly.
“Can’t say I’ve thought about it, darlin’.” He disappears again, hanging his towel on the back of the door before coming back out of the bathroom with a clean pair of boxers on, washed up from his long day on-site. “Have you been thinking about getting a dog?”
A sheepish grin stretches across your face, shrugging your shoulders as Joel gets into bed. He matches your position, leaning back against the headboard and turning his head toward you. He’s intrigued. If he wasn’t, he’d tell you that you could talk about it more in the morning, and then he would give you his honest opinion in the light of day. Never wanting to start a silly argument before bed, always attempting to keep the peace.
Which made him great at compromising. To what you wanted in the first place.
“I’ve been thinking it would be nice for Sarah. Like something to learn responsibility — teaching her to feed it on schedule and take it for walks and fill the water bowl.”
“Yeah, it’ll teach her that I’ll take on all those responsibilities when she gets bored of it,” your husband snorts at his own comment, making you roll your eyes playfully and scoot closer.
“Oh, c’mon, J. Don’t you think it would be fun to have a dog around? We wouldn’t even need to get a puppy if you think it’s too much. But I work at home nannying baby Amelia so I’d be around all day and then when Sarah gets home from school or camp, she can take him or her for a walk. And then feed it before you even get home. Oh! Or you could take the dog to work with you! How cute would that be, you could train him to grab your tools for you.”
A contagious smile brightens your face in the low lamplight, one that Joel can’t help but mirror on his own face. The eagerness is evident in your expression and your voice, and the proposition doesn’t seem like it would be too difficult of an adjustment. Shaking his head at your suggestions, he laughs quietly while reaching a hair up to smooth your hair away from your face.
“Are you gonna be the one to teach it what all the different screwdrivers are?”
An excited gasp exhales and you scramble to straddle Joel’s lap, “Wait, are you serious? You’re actually okay with getting a dog?”
Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you lean back to look at his face. His hands find the curve where your thighs melt into your ass, squeezing gently. Always handsy.
“Yeah, baby, we can get a dog.” Joel groans dramatically when you pull yourself tight against him, hugging him while on hand rubs back and forth at the base of your spine. “I’ve got some conditions though.”
Unraveling from his neck, you stay perched in his lap, nodding fervently. “Anything. Whatever you want, if it means we get a dog.”
“Oh, anything?” he teases with another squeeze of your bum, laughing when you shoot him a look.
“Not what I meant, Miller. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Can’t help it with you, sweet girl. My mind’s always in the gutter around you.” The sentiment is punctuation with a tender kiss to your lips and one to your forehead. Calloused palms skate along your bare thighs, humming contently, “Conditions are: has to be a big dog. Don’t want one of those little white dogs or like something that’ll break if we have babies and they’re a little rough with it.”
The forethought he has for your future children warms your heart, and you agree immediately, “Deal. Didn’t want a little dog anyways. What else?”
“Gotta fence in the backyard. I don’t mind putting in a gate for us and your parents to easily go back and forth through, but I don’t want the chance of the dog gettin’ out when we’re all outside.”
“Totally understandable. I’ll even help you install the fence,” you offer proudly.
“That’s real sweet, Mari baby, thank you. You don’t gotta lift a finger though, I’ll bring some of the guys over and pay a little extra and we’ll get it done in a day, no problem.”
“Alright, so big dog, fence. Anything else you’d like to negotiate, Mr. Miller?” you mock a formal tone, turning your nose up. Joel laughs, tightening his arms around your waist and tugging you closer. Kisses press into your neck and along your jaw, pausing inches away from your lips as he makes his final request.
“Dog sleeps in Sarah’s room or downstairs. I like our privacy.” He smirks before kissing you deeply, easily flipping you onto your back and hovering above you. Your legs hook around his waist and he raises his eyebrows, “That all sound fair to you, Mariposa?”
“Absolutely it does. Guess we’re getting a dog, ri—” You’re cut off by his lips on yours again, pressing you further into the mattress with his body weight.
“Let’s save the rest of this for the morning,” Joel mumbles against your skin as he trails his mouth down your neck to your collarbone, “‘Cause right now, I think I’d rather get some pussy.”
He doubles over in laughter at his own joke, forehead pressing against your chest as his shoulders heave. Your fingers comb into his hair, unable to fight quiet chuckles of your own no matter how hard you try to not give him the satisfaction.
“God, you’re such a dork.”
The clock rolls to 3pm as you sit in your car, lined up along with parents of campers. Shrills of laughter and screams echo from the bright, primary-colored playground across the way, counselors attempting to corral the kids to lead them out for pick-up. Air conditioning blasts on you as you fan at the back of your neck, exhaling in the sweltering Texan heat. It’s only the beginning of summer, June barely having turned over, but the temperatures have reached record highs for the year already.
Your stepdaughter. The thought still makes you smile months on, the dynamic between the two of you falling naturally into a closer, more nurturing relationship. Little acknowledgments from Sarah have made your heart sing over the days; routinely saying goodnight to you along with Joel, asking you for permission to go play outside, seeking you out nearly as much as Joel when she has had a nightmare. The pair of you have built routines of your own before bed, you making a promise to Sarah to read with her and to show her your favorite books from when you were her age.
A few nights ago, Sarah had retreated with you to her room, at least thirty minutes before her bedtime to get in another chapter of Matilda by Roald Dahl. The main character reminded you of Sarah’s sweet and spunky personality, and you were so excited that she fell in love with the story and its characters as quickly as you did when you read it for the first time.
Sat up against her headboard, Sarah laid back in your arms and cracked open the novel where her bookmark stuck out, started to read aloud to you in the low lamplight. Mindlessly, you played with her hair as you listened to her confidently recite the words from the page. The day caught up to you, the peaceful moment pulled a yawn from your lungs. Sarah’s words slowed down, her eyes slowly blinking until they closed, which was your queue to slip the book from her hands and mark the spot, and laid it on her nightstand.
When you tried to slip out from behind her to leave her to sleep soundly, she stirred, mumbling the sweetest, “Will you stay for a little bit, Posey?”
And you had no choice but to oblige her request. After getting comfortable next to her, Sarah curled into your side and you pressed a kiss to her forehead, continued to play with her hair to soothe her back to sleep.
What you hadn’t realized was that you also drifted off in her twin bed with her, the lamp still on. Joel was watching TV downstairs, waiting for you to retreat down the steps as you do every night, but no sign of you after an hour had him standing up to go searching. It was quiet when he reached the top of the stairs, no telling giggles or loud whispers to give the two of you away.
He pushed open the cracked door of Sarah’s bedroom, and was met with a sight that squeezed his heart tight, a sigh exhaled from his lungs. You tucked right next to his little one, and both slept deeply. Without disturbing your rest, he tiptoed over to the nightstand, tugged the blanket up over both of you before he hovered above the bed to press a gentle kiss to each of your foreheads.
Lamp clicked off, he whispered to your unconscious ears, “G’night, girls. Love you two.”
It was a few hours before your usual alarm when you’d woken up, sore from the small space and glanced around the dark room to discover you had fallen asleep next to Sarah. Carefully slipped out from the covers, you tucked her back in and padded down the hall to your bedroom where Joel was sleeping, a soft snore came from him as he’d starfished out on the mattress. You gently shook him half awake to move him, and he groaned softly at the disruption before he tugged you into his chest and pressed a drowsy kiss to your shoulder.
“Was jus’ too cute to wake you up, Mari baby. My Mariposa and my lil’ Bug…” He hummed sleepily into your skin, hand gently rubbed circles in your lower belly while your eyes close, desperate for those last few hours of slumber. “Makes me so happy.”
“Me too, J. M’so, so happy she’s that comfortable with me. My baby best friend. And you’re my big baby best friend…” You breathed out an airy giggle and Joel protested weakly behind you, a gentle pinch to your side before you both exchanged a quick “love you” and drifted right back off.
The reminder of the sweet moment in the morning from Joel was the highlight of your week.
Climbing out of the car, the engine running and door open, you round the front bumper and stand on the curb to wait. You find her before she finds you, calling out to her to grab her attention, “Hey, sweet pea!”
Her familiar deep brown irises search for the source of your voice, landing on your face and waving excitedly. Sarah checks out with her counselor for the day, scurrying over to you with her backpack bouncing at her shoulders.
“Hi, Posey!”
She collides with your torso, her growth spurts finally starting over the last few months so the top of her head hits just at your chest, and nearly knocks the wind out of you. Patting her back, you laugh and pull her back to look her in the face, “Well, hello to you too, Sare Bear. How was camp today? You ready to go?”
After your greetings, she climbs into the backseat on the opposite side of Amelia’s car seat. You store her bag in the passenger seat with yours before retreating around to the driver’s side, heading off once both of you are secured in your seatbelts.
Flicking your eyes up in the rearview mirror, the two of you catch up, which mostly consists of her recapping the camp activities and excitedly talking about the pool day that’s planned for Friday. As you turn onto your street, Sarah’s brow furrows at the sight of Joel’s truck in the driveway.
“Dad’s home already? That’s weird.”
“Hm, I guess he is. Or maybe he’s just stopped by to grab something he forgot. You know how he is.”
Sarah laughs in agreement as you park your car next to his truck. Both of you get out and head in through the garage, straight into the kitchen where Joel’s standing at the counter eating a sandwich.
“Told you, Sare, stopped by ‘cause he forgot something. Lunch.” You send him a teasing grin as you deposit Sarah’s bag by the door and kick off your sandals. She does the same before wandering past her dad to the fridge in search of a snack. Apple doesn’t fall far.
“What? I can’t happen to drop in hoping to see my wife and my daughter in the middle of my work day? Do I have to have ulterior motives?” Joel speaks, words muffling around the bite in his mouth as you approach the island to stand opposite him.
“Dad, you literally always ask ‘What’s for dinner?’ or ‘What’s cookin’?’ after you say hi to us every day. Your motivation is always to get some food,” Sarah chimes in from in front of the fridge, laughing when Joel looks at her offended.
“See? Even a ten year old recognizes the pattern of behavior,” you confirm your findings, laughing as Joel grumbles to himself and pops the last bite of his sandwich in his mouth.
“Well, for your information, both of you, I am here for an entirely different reason than lunch and to see you two.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest, looking between the two of you with a mischievous smile on his face. “Why don’t y’all go look in the living room and then tell me if you wanna keep makin’ fun of Dad?”
Sarah excitedly starts off toward the living room, giddy about the surprise awaiting her. Your brow furrows and lips twist up in curiosity, eyes staying glued to Joel. He laughs and nods to the other room, a bright smile on his face.
“Better go see, mi amor. Think you’ll want to meet him.” Joel winks, your attention being pulled away when you both hear Sarah gasp from the living room.
“Oh my gosh! Posey, come here! Aw!”
That’s when it registers — the surprise, home in the middle of the day, the smirk, ‘you’ll want to meet him’.
“You didn’t,” you breathe out, head snapping back to Joel as he gives you a wide, genuine grin.
“Go! See for yourself.” He rounds the island and grabs your hips from behind, guiding your steps into the living room. Sarah’s giggles fill the room as the fluffy Bernese Mountain puppy stands in her lap and licks at her face. The small dog’s attention is pulled from her and over to you and Joel entering the room, a tiny bark sounding before he scampers over.
“Joel, oh my god, how did you—when—oh my god…” You kneel down to scoop up the little one into your arms and cuddle it gently, giving it pets before letting him run around again.
“Found someone who had a litter with their family dogs the day after we talked about it. And arranged to pick him up. They said he’s the energetic one, and that he’s gonna be a big boy. Like a hundred pounds.”
“Oh my god, he’s so sweet…thank you, J.” You beam up at him, waving him to bend down and steal a kiss, squeezing his shoulder.
Sarah’s playing with your new family dog, tugging with a rope toy as he fights back with his whole little body. “Thank you, Dad. He’s so cute!”
“What should we name him?” Joel asks as he lowers himself to the floor next to you, smiling as the puppy runs over. The two rough house, Joel easily flipping him over to scratch at his belly as the dog pants happily.
“Any ideas, Sare?” you ask, looking over at her.
She thinks for a moment before looking up between Joel and you, laughing at the tiny pup’s antics, “What about Goose? He just seems like one. Like a silly goose.”
“Goose? I like it, Bug,” Joel confirms, turning to you with a grin, “How about you, Mari?”
Nodding, you look at the new addition to the family, burning bright with happiness at your people’s excitement, “I think Goose is a perfect fit. And now you’re not outnumbered anymore, J. Two girls and two boys in the Miller household.”
Sarah laughs and lays down to cuddle with Goose while Joel moves closer to your side, wrapping an arm around you and kissing your head as he quietly whispers, “Hopefully won’t be too long before the boys are outnumbered again.”
“And what makes you say it won’t be us girls being outnumbered?”
“Call it father’s intuition. Wouldn’t know what to do with a little boy, bein’ a dad to another girl would just be second nature. Plus, I would want a mini Mari running around the world.” Joel presses a kiss to your temple before you turn your head, catching his pursed lips with yours sweetly.
“I’d take anything if it means havin’ a little piece of you forever, J.”
third time lucky
Negative.
A single line, bold and brash, stares back at you. Turning the plastic in your hands, you attempt to read it at different angles, the smallest bit of hope lingering for another line to appear — that it was a trick of the light that was causing your disappointment.
To no avail, the blue strip remains unaccompanied in the small window. A sinking feeling fills your body from your toes up. Everything feels heavier, except your lower stomach. That has never felt as empty as it is now.
Heavy footsteps thump a vibration in the floors, but your focus remains on a speck of dust floating in the light past your field of vision. His presence hangs in the bedroom, milling about, unknowing of what you were up to before he came in from mowing the lawn.
“Hey, baby, m’gonna take a shower and then we’ve got Sarah’s softball game at three. Probably half to leave here around two, her coach asked all the parents to be thirty minutes early for some reason…” Joel’s voice fades in your head as your thoughts start to yell, scream, fight, taunt inside of your mind.
A hard swallow pops your ears, the ringing in them growing louder as your mind begins to wander. The test is left discarded on the bathroom counter, with no heart yet to throw it in the garbage where the others have ended up. Your bare feet shuffle against the rug as you seek out solace under covers, even in the ninety-plus-degree heat. The springs of the mattress shift under your weight, lying on your side facing the opposite side of the bed that lays empty right now. The coverlet is pulled up over you, curling your fingers at the hem tightly, white knuckle grip to release some of the tension that has taken over your mind. You want to scream, cry, yell, question — but what you want most of all is to be able.
Why aren’t you able? Why can’t you do what your body is made to do, what it begs for, what it reminds you that you’ve failed at every month?
Joel stands in observation of you, careful distance, one hand lifting before he drops it. He can guess what this is about. What you’ve left behind in the en-suite. But to confirm his suspicions, he quietly walks into the tiled room, leaving his clean clothes on the counter while he picks up the test.
Negative.
His body sinks, toes up to his head, but with a gaping, empty feeling in his chest. There’s so much room left in his heart, room he is eager to fill with another part of you, another love, another soul to protect. Now, though, all of his emptiness is filled with an ache for you. You’ve been dreaming out loud for a year now, wonderings and visions shared with him late nights and early mornings — Will they have his eyes? You hope so, so that they look like their sister. Who’s ears would they have? What quirks will they pick up from both of you? Who will they grow up to be? How will we be able to contain our love for both of our kids?
Our kids. Joel remembers that night; after you said that, he couldn’t hold himself back, couldn’t contain his love for you. No hesitation that his own was yours now, too. All he wanted was to give you another, to see your belly grow and your smile brighten and your skin glow. He was begging for whatever power was in the universe for that time to take, for both of you to be gifted with what you wished for so often, so deeply.
Desperation. Wavering confidence. Sorrow, worry, dwindling hope. He saw it all over you, time after time when the single line appeared on the plastic sticks.
You and Joel had been trying for a year. A long year. Maybe your desire was too strong, too overpowering. But shouldn’t that be a sign of your love? For each other, for your family? All he wants to do is give you the life you’ve wished for. And yes, all you’ve said you want is a life with him, but anyone who meets you would be able to tell you are meant for a nurturing life. Meant for motherhood.
It was already natural for you, taking a ten-year-old in stride, making her into your best friend — making her a priority over Joel most of the time. He knew it didn’t matter to you that she wasn’t yours, biologically speaking, but he can’t help but want to give you a child that is part you. How badly he wants another piece of you in the world, all of your goodness packaged into the purest soul.
Resigning with a sigh, he sets the test down on the cool countertop and exits the bathroom, a slow stride over to your lying form. Crumpled under covers. With a soft groan, he lowers himself to his knees with cracks popping his joints. His age is starting to show the closer he gets to forty and the more hours he works in the summer weather, another looming factor for him — he’s only known being a young dad. If you two have to wait, what would it be like to be nearly sixty when your kid graduates high school?
Shaking the superficial concerns from his head, his wide palm glides along the quilted fabric draped over your side. He rests his chin on his opposite arm, laying against the mattress close to your pillow. At the coax of his touch, you turn over to face him. Lips pursed in a frown, dried watery streaks being washed anew with your fresh tears, fat and rolling down your cheeks and over the bridge of your nose. They drip off of your skin, dotting and darkening the fabric of the pillowcase underneath you.
Joel leans in, brushing your hair from your face and pressing his lips to your forehead for a lingering kiss. A deep breath draws the smell of your shampoo into his nose, down deep into his lungs where it soothes his aching chest.
“Mari, sweet girl, I know it’s hard. I know we want it so bad, but there’s always another option,” he speaks softly, kindly, delicately, “We can go to that fertility specialist your doctor recommended. I promise, mi amor, we’ll have a baby together.”
He means it, and you can tell he means it. Ever since you had been back together, ever since he confessed his feelings for you — years ago now — he hasn’t made an empty promise. From tiny little things like a pledge to stop on the way home for your favorite ice cream, going to three different stores and adding nearly an hour to his day simply to show up with it for you, to larger, grander oaths, his wedding vows, the promise of building a beautiful life with you.
Emotion is thick in your throat as you attempt to vocalize your concerns. They keep you up at night, with Joel’s warm and expansive hand resting on your stomach right above your womb as he sleeps soundly. He wants it clearly as much as you do; you can feel it each time you’ve tried. How badly he wants to provide this for you.
Is he having the same thoughts as you? Does he wonder if something’s ‘wrong’ with you?
“I wanna be able to do it. Why can’t I do it on my own?” The sound of your meek voice shatters his heart and he shakes his head back and forth, adamant in shutting down the thoughts.
Tugging the covers down, Joel’s hands find your exposed skin, sliding across with a clammy touch from his labor outside. And nerves, too, you’d guess. Moving from his knees on the floor next to the bed, he finds a spot sitting at your side and shifts you to lay on your back. Opening up to him. Warmth rests over your womb, blanket pulled down to the tops of your thighs while his thumb brushes at your stomach, catching on the fabric of your shirt.
“No—oh, mi Mariposa, you don’t even know if it would be you with an issue. Very well could be me. Maybe breathin’ all the paint fumes at work killed m’little swimmers.” He breathes a small laugh through his nose, attempting to lighten the mood.
Your hands fly up to your face, muffling your voice, “Oh, god, don’t say that. I wanna have your baby, not some sperm donors.”
His hand coasts up your torso, over to your side to wrap around your rib cage, feeling your breaths as his fingertips lightly tickle the spot, “That was supposed to make you laugh, sweet girl.”
Hands falling away from your face, your brow pinches together and your frown deepens. About to make a retort, your mouth open, Joel skates the fingertips of both his hands up and down your sides, alternated on each side of you to make it harder to catch his wrists. Laughter bubbles up from your chest, your frown morphing into a flashing smile before you’re calling for a surrender in between gasping breaths.
Relenting, his hands stop, settling at the curve of your waist. He leans over you, nudging his nose against yours before pressing a ghosting kiss to your lips. A small grin, hopeful and reassuring, with a tinge of worry flickering in his irises, barely there before his smile reaches his eyes, “It’ll happen for us, Mari baby. Why don’t we say, one last go before lookin’ into the doctors? We’ll do all the things, track whatever we need to track. I’ll drop whatever I need to come home and put a baby in you.”
Joel wiggles his eyebrows, playful smirk crossing his expression. You roll your eyes under him, pushing an accusing finger into his chest, “Like you don’t already do that. I could call you in the middle of work and just go ‘Hey, J’ and you’re in the truck on your way home.”
“That’s right, Mari. As it should be. Y’know what they say — happy wife, happy life.” Another kiss to your lips, this one a bit more savoring. “What d’ya say, mi amor? One more go?”
“Okay, yeah. One more go.”
Butterflies kick up in your stomach when you hear the low rumble of Joel’s truck cut, heavy door swinging closed and quick strides following. The front door opens after a short jingle of keys, shutting behind him with the slide of the lock back into place. Distant grumbles of his make you laugh, his frustrations with his work boots floating upstairs to where you’re sitting on the edge of your bed, leaning back on your hands. Clad in only your bra and panties, you work your bottom lip between your teeth as anticipation builds with each of Joel’s footsteps up the carpeted stairs.
You both only have the afternoon — less than an hour of your afternoon, actually — to make your last attempt. Already having taken advantage of the window in your cycle twice, the peak day of your ovulation fell, of course, during the busiest time of year for Miller Construction. Summer has come to a close, and now people have picked up their home improvements to start nesting for the winter; a craving you’ve been having yourself, desperate to make your home larger and livelier by one more. Joel has snuck away for a moment that you two have alone, and you’ve told the couple you nanny for that you have an immovable appointment for today.
Pretty sure the only thing that will be immovable today will be you once Joel’s hour is up.
“Mari? Mi amor?” he calls out and you chuckle softly at the boyish excitement in his voice.
“In the bedroom, J!”
Joel rounds the doorway into your shared room, stopping a handful of steps past the threshold when he registers the sight of you. He hums a low moan, licking his lips as his eyes devour your lacy undergarments, “Mierda, mi esposa, estás tratando de matarme? (Shit, my wife, are you trying to kill me?) You look so fucking beautiful, darlin’.”
A low whistle leaves his lips as he stalks closer, eyes rake over your form as you present your primped self for his taking.
“You get all pretty for me, sweet girl? I like this…” he rasps as he’s within arm’s reach now, stretching a hand out to toy with the strap of your bra and snapping it against your skin sharply.
“Wanted to look pretty when you fill me up, J.” One curl of his finger under your chin draws you to sit up straight, tilting your head back to look at Joel towering over you.
“Good girl,” he praises, a glint of excitement in his eyes, “You want me to fill up your sweet little cunt, Mariposa? Want me to give you a baby? Tell me.”
“Yes,” you breathe out shakily, eyelids fluttering closed as his hands trail lightly across your exposed skin, ghosting everywhere you need him most.
“More, sweetheart. Dime. Dime cuánto lo deseas. Suplicar por ello. (Tell me. Tell me how badly you want it. Beg for it.)” His instructions float through your head, only keywords translating in while Joel leaves over you, lips pressing feather-light kisses along your neck, across your chest.
“I need it, Joel. Need you so fucking bad, I wanna have your baby. Want you to make me a mom, fill me up as many times as it takes until we get our baby…please, J…” As if the taste of you wasn’t enough to do him in, the wild, fervent look in your eyes intrigues him beyond. Hearing the words from your lips, directed to him, he’s fucking aching. He was growing hard on his way over here, the thoughts swimming through his mind of you laid out and ready for him to take delegating his blood supply to rush down below his belt.
He needs you, but first, he needs to see you unraveling underneath him only from his fingers.
“Don’t worry your pretty little mind, Mari. M’gonna take care of you. I’ll make sure this one takes. Let’s call it third time lucky this summer.”
He shoots you a wink, your mouth parting to respond. Before you can let any breath escape, his lips are crashing with yours. Heavy, heady, and so fucking hot it spirals your thoughts into nothing. His tongue melts with yours, the taste of his black coffee and the donut he must have eaten at work this morning tingling your taste buds. Sweat sticks to his skin when your hands rest at the sides of his neck, falling backwards as he climbs over you. He smells of wood shavings, freshly mowed grass, and hard work — calloused hands gliding along your body and feeling the softest of scratches of his blue collar hands.
“Joel, need you — please.” It’s more of a whine than a begging whimper, rising frustration levels from his lack of touch in the place you need and want him the most.
Your cunt is desperate, dripping down your folds and surely soaking the sheets. A quick jerk of your hips attempts to brush against him, to catch any relief for the need building low in your stomach. A large palm presses your lower half back against the mattress, the other hand pushing your leg to the side to open you up further for him. A knuckle brushes your clit, grazing up and down your seam through your soaked panties. Your husband clicks his tongue as he shakes his head at you, patronizing tone slick in his voice.
“Darlin’, I wanna take every second of my time with you. Are you gonna let me? Gonna let me get your cunt squeezing my fingers? Gonna let me fill you up, mi amor?” he asks, as if you wouldn’t say yes to all of those requests and he knows it. Nodding, a desperate yes exhaled when he applies more pressure with his finger against your clit, rubbing slow circles. “Good girl. Siempre tan bueno para mí. (Always so good for me.)”
Joel folds over your, taking one of your perked nipples into his mouth through your bra and sucking. His tongue flattens against the cup before he’s pulling at the nub with his teeth. The material is darkened where his mouth was when he grows a bit more needy, grabbing at the straps and yanking the bra to rest at your midsection. You slip your arms out of the straps and he pushes you further onto the bed by the back of your thighs, stripping your panties off and settling on his knees.
Pressure forms against your clit from two of his fingers, slow circles dragging a moan from your throat. Joel smirks, satisfied with the way you squirm under him, trying and failing to get more from his hands. Before you can vocalize a whine, Joel is over you again, bringing his attention to your now bare breast while the circles continue. Hot, humid kisses are littered on the soft skin, happy hums rolling from Joel’s chest. He pulls his head up, looking down at your chest with a half grin and his dimple on display.
“You’re gonna get so soft and swollen everywhere, Mariposa. Round belly, huge tits—can’t wait to play with ‘em.” His grin widens, boyish and brazen with the glee that the fact fills him with. “You gonna let me, baby? Gonna let me make your sore tits feel better with my mouth?”
His question goes unanswered as his mouth attaches to one of your nipples, sucking and flattening his tongue as he nurses it. Pulling away with a pop, he mimics the same on the other side, the intensity of his suckling along with his fingers rubbing faster against your clit — even slipping down to tease at your entrance — has you wiggling under him, desperation notching up your spine.
“Joel, please,” you plead, choking on your breath when he pulls the bud of your breast between his teeth, a low growling sound rumbling from his throat.
Two of his thick fingers push into your dripping cunt, a relieved moan echoing against the walls of the bedroom. Curling up into your spongy walls, they thrust quickly and pet at the certain spot inside of you. Joel’s mouth is still at your chest, his hunger feeding itself on the taste of your skin.
“Fuck, Mari, gonna break my fucking fingers off. So fucking tight.”
A distraught whimper crawls from your chest, breaths heaving as your walls clench around his quick-paced fingers. You gasp when he slips a third one in, hooking them up. Despite the stretch, you still feel an emptiness. All you want is his cock inside of you, spilling into you and leaving you to grow fuller with his baby. The thoughts of him above you, fucking it all deeper into you to reach your womb, drive you over the edge. The tips of his fingers press against that spot inside of you, his warm mouth hanging open at your tit while his eyes watch you come undone. Writhing and walls pulsing around his fingers, his name falls from your mouth as you choke out moans and your vision grows dark.
“That’s it, Mari baby, fuck,” Joel works you through the orgasm before his fingers leave you and he sits back on his haunches. Sucking his digits clean of your slick and come, the other hand rubs your thigh gently before he coos down at you, “That was a big one, wasn’t it? Feel good?”
Still coming down from it all, your body feels liquidity, taking whatever form Joel is molding you into right now after he’s stripped himself bare. One hand slips under you, unclasping your bra and tugging it away from your torso, leaving you as naked as him. His eyes drink in your body while his grip holds your calves, chuckling darkly when you finally breathe out a response, “I feel…like I need you to put a baby in me.”
“Cualquier cosa para usted, mi esposa. Vas a estar tan lleno de mí. Te encanta la sensación de mi mecos dentro de ti, ¿verdad? (Anything for you, my wife. You're going to be so full of me. You love the feeling of my cum inside of you, don't you?)” Your head rolls with a nod, agreeing to anything Joel says in the moment, still hazy from how hard he’d made you come moments ago. Half-lidded eyes watch as he licks his fingers, stroking his cock a few times with a quiet sigh. That’s something you could watch all day — Joel’s pleasure. And here underneath him, you have the perfect view, and the perfect position to be used for it.
Fully handing over control to him, his hands tug you up so your ass sits on his thighs while he’s on his knees. Fingertips skate along the distance of your legs, grabbing at your calves to rest them on his broad shoulders. Even the slightest shift forward from his hips stretches you wide, a delicious ache creating a craving for more.
“Tell me how bad you want it, Mari, tell me how much you wanna have my baby.”
Joel’s gripping his length, rubbing his tip through your wet folds. The notches against your clit quiver the already stretched muscles in your thighs, whines replacing words coming out of your mouth.
“Tell me, or I won’t give you what you want, mi amor.”
“I want it so bad, J. I wanna feel you fuck me so full of you, and I don’t want that feeling to leave. I feel like there’s an emptiness and only you can fill it, I want your baby. Wanna have everyone know how good I am for you, carrying your baby like you want me to. I wanna have a part of you forever,” you gasp out the last word, Joel’s cock inching into you. Muscle memory takes over, your whole body relaxing with the knowledge that he’ll take care of you — he’ll always take care of you.
Joel bottoms out easily, filling you to the hilt before he pauses to take a breath. His eyes meet yours and he smiles, sweet and sincere, while holding your shins, “I fucking love you, mi Mariposa. Wanna give you a baby…”
“Pleasepleaseplease—” You don’t know if you’re begging more for him to give you what you want or to move his hips, but in the end, you get both.
Joel starts out slow, shallow thrusts keeping him inside of you. Grunts from the controlled movements fill the room, your small whimpers following each noise he makes. The sound of him fucking into your cunt captures his attention, gaze zeroed in on where you two meet. Watching the stretch of your tight pussy around his cock, he feels the burning desire for more. To watch you take it deeper, harder.
The next snap of his hips is just that - smacking his skin against your ass before he adjusts, laying you back completely on the mattress and leaning over you. Your legs are still hooked over his shoulders, the burning of your muscles now straining your hamstrings and glutes. His entire body folds you, his head hovering over yours as he fucks into you further. The tip of his cock kisses your womb, the force of his thrusts driving your hips open more for him.
“Gonna — fuck — gonna make you a momma, Mariposa. That what you want? Get fucked so well, be so full of me that we make a baby? Everybody’s gonna know I treat my wife right. With your round belly…swollen—ah—swollen tits. Gonna be so beautiful, and so fucking sensitive everywhere.”
His words only add onto the feeling of his thick cock filling you up, nearly verging on too far and too much. Moans exhale on your lips, his name repeated like a chant with each harsh snap of him into you. Your hands scramble for purchase as his sheer power drives you up the mattress, sheets scratching against your bare back. One set of fingers dig into the meaty flesh of his shoulder, nails pressing crescent shapes like an iron-hot branding.
Above you, Joel studies how your mouth has fallen open, thoughts completely left your mind with how cockdrunk you are. He gingerly grips your chin, holding it to face him and commanding your eyes to his as he pants heavily.
“What d’you wanna make me, baby?” It’s only met with the sounds of his cock dragging in and out of you, the slap of skin as you gasp under him. “C’mon, Mari baby, use your words.”
“A daddy,” you breathe out, your opposite hand combing into his messy curls and gripping tight.
“Say it again. Dime.” Not thinking it was possible, Joel pushes you further, hitting into you harder with each thrust nudging his tip toward your cervix. You might only leave this afternoon with soreness, but you continued to hold out hope for a baby to be the well-worth prize for how you’re going to feel tomorrow.
“A daddy!”
“Dime. Dime. Dime,” he commands and you listen, writhing under him as he hacks away at your shared resolve, throwing you closer and closer to the edge.
“Daddy — oh, fuck, a daddy. Wanna make you a daddy!” You’re yelling at this point, sobs of pleasure wracking your body and you thank god for a split second that the two of you are home alone in the middle of the work day. Surely the whole block might be hearing all of your wanton sounds.
“God, I could get used to you calling me that, Mari baby,” Joel groans and throws his head back, bearing his teeth as he punches his hips into your clenching pussy, the telltale sign that you’re close.
“C’mon, mi amor, give it to me. Come for me and I’ll let your fucking pussy milk me for every last drop. That’s what you want, right? Gotta fill you up and make a baby for my Mari baby.” He’s rambling as you reach your peak, toes curling and coming even harder than your first one this afternoon.
A near scream pulls itself from as deep as your gut, the sound as if you were in more pain than the absolute pleasure you feel. Your grip on his hair tightens, drawing him down for a messy kiss as you mumble against his lips.
“Please gimme a baby, J. Need it all inside of me, please. Come for me, mi esposo.”
The name sends goosebumps across his shoulders and trickles down his spine before he’s barking your name once and spilling into you, painting your walls with each rope. He takes a moment to breathe before he gently presses his hips in a few short thrusts, fucking his spend as far into you as possible.
Joel collapses against your torso, no other efforts exerted to move away. Delicate, nimble touches brush the hair from his sweaty forehead, rubbing his shoulders as he hums contently.
“Fuck, baby, might just have to stay inside. Keep you plugged up so I can stay here all day with you.” Quiet, breathless laughter leaves your lips as you shake your head, tracing along his jaw before he turns his head to press his lips into your tummy.
“Can’t wait for you to be a momma. Gonna be the best one ever, y’already are. Love you so much.”
The two of you lay like that for what feels like hours, only to be reminded of Joel’s limited schedule when his cell starts ringing from downstairs. Getting up with a groan, he slips out of you and lifts your hips, stuffing a pillow or two underneath them to keep your lower half elevated. You roll your eyes at the superstitious gesture, gasping when his fingers push into you once more to put his leaking come back into where it belongs.
“Gotta make sure it takes, pretty girl. Wanna see you get all round with my baby in you. Everybody’ll know how good I am to you, huh? Pumping you full of me so much we made a new fucking life…better stay like this until I get home again, Mari baby. Wanna make sure those lil swimmers get all the help they can get.”
“Mm…” you hum, hands grabbing for him to lean over you again. Sneaking a kiss, you pull away to whisper to him with a grin on your lips, “Better get back to work…daddy.”
He snorts out a laugh, beaming a bright smile as mischief glimmers in his eyes, “Mal. Mala chica. (Bad. Bad girl.)”
Three days late. You’ve been tracking your cycle like a mad woman, ticking off days in the notebook next to your bed, and now you’re officially three days late. Joel and you had agreed to wait a few days after you expected your period, hopeful that the extra time meant a more accurate, and desired, result.
The kitchen timer sitting on Joel’s side of the bed ticks away while you side on the edge of the bed. Tapping your fingers against your thighs, bare skin against your fingertips from the high hem of your denim shorts. Joel paces the room, eyes focused a thousand yards ahead. Anxiety and anticipation had been plaguing both of you all day, work slugging by minute by minute, second by second. Joel had left the jobsite as soon as was acceptable, leaving Tommy to wrap up, and swung by the pharmacy to pick up a new box of tests. Your task for the day was to chug water, or any liquid, all afternoon — by the time Joel was one foot through the door, you were ready to burst. Snatching the bag of tests out of his hand, you ran to the bathroom to pee in a plastic disposable cup and stick at least three tests in.
Now, you two are waiting for more seconds and minutes to tick by, added to the tally of the entire day. As you’re about to stand and stop Joel from burning treads in the area rug from walking his tight circles, a trill of a bell vibrating demands your attention. Turning off the noise in a flash, you stand and cross the room to where your husband is now frozen in place. A gentle touch to his cheek, his eyelids flutter close and he takes a long exhale before opening them again.
“Ready?” you ask, uncertainty pitching your voice up.
A minute nod, one shake of his chin, Joel’s hand finds the small of your back as he responds, “Ready, mi amor.”
His hand guides you into the bathroom, and a handful of steps from the three tests laid out on the counter, you turn around, panic twisting your expression. Joel stumbles to stop his collision with you, large palms grabbing onto your biceps to catch himself.
“M’scared, J…” Your voice is meek, cracking with emotion. This is the last shot you gave yourselves, whatever is laid on the counter either means unbridled joy or a long road of poking and prodding in countless doctors’ offices.
The warmth of his hands rubbing your arms and the press of his lips to your forehead coax you to relax, to take deep breaths, “I know, Mari baby, I would be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t scared too. But no matter what is on those tests, we’re in it together, right sweet girl?”
His index finger hooks under your chin to draw your attention up to his face, a small smile filled with love and reassurance stretching his lips.
“Always in it together, J.” You take another deep breath, turning around and nodding shortly, “Okay, now m’ready.”
“That’s my girl,” he mumbles before he’s following right behind you again, the two of you pressing yourselves to each other against the counter. Joel has an iron grip on your hips, nerves manifesting in the squeezes of his hands. Shaking fingers turn over each test before picking them all up to your lines of vision.
Two lines. Two bold lines screaming at both of you, across all three tests.
Positive.
Positive. You’re pregnant. You and Joel are having a baby.
“Holy shit…” Joel exhales behind you, smile creeping into his voice. Somehow, his grip gets even tighter as he turns you around, “Holy shit! You’re pregnant, Mari. We’re havin’ a baby! You’re gonna be a momma!”
Giddiness overcomes both of you, happy and disbelieving laughter while you hold each other in a tight embrace. Joel litters kisses around your face, catching your lips last — all teeth and tight lipped from your matching grins.
“You’re gonna be a dad again, how’s that feel?”
“Like I won the damn lottery, mi amor.”
Another kiss, supple and heavy. Joel pulls away first and shakes his head, pressing his forehead to yours, “I love you so fucking much, Mari.”
“I love you too, J.”
“You ready to go, Sare?” you ask, standing next to her seat at the kitchen table where she’s working away at her homework, reaching a hand out to play with her curls. She smiles and nods, writing down one last answer to a question on her worksheet before she lays her pencil down and stands up, rushing over toward the door.
“Just gotta get my shoes on!” she calls out, and you smile, shaking your head.
“Take your time, sweet pea! God knows it’s gonna take me longer to walk over to the door.” Your joke falls on deaf ears of your husband, who stands at the kitchen island and rolls his eyes before he’s crossing the room over to you. Within arm’s length, his hands cup the bottom of your large belly, leaning in for a sweet peck.
“Nobody cares if you move slow. Better to be careful than—”
“Careless, yes, I know. I think those might be our baby’s first words since they hear them so much from their dad,” you tease and he shrugs, kissing you again while his touch wanders across the flannel of his that you’re sporting, too tired to buy more maternity clothes that you’ll grow out of and opting for his closet every morning.
“Jus’ looking out for my girls. All three of ‘em.” He beams proudly, brown eyes shining brightly before he turns you in his arms, accompanying you to the front door where your near-teenager is waiting. Ever the sweetheart she is, she’s got your purse slung on her shoulder, car keys in hand to pass off to you. You thank her quietly, turning back to Joel as he looks between the two of you.
“Alright, have fun with your girls’ day. And call if you need anything — either of you. I’ll be waitin’ here for ya.” Joel smooths down Sarah’s hair before kissing the crown of her head; she squirms away, the teenage attitude rearing its head in some early moments, especially with her dad. There’s less patience for him, which you completely understand as a teenage girl once yourself. He huffs out a sigh as she slips out the door, heading down the front path toward your car.
“Hey, s’nothing. Teenage girl things. She loves you, and you’re the best dad.” A hand on his cheek coaxes him down to your lips, a supple kiss exchanged before he pulls away and bends to kiss the top of your belly.
“Bye, my little June Bug.” He stands upright again and steals another kiss, mumbling, “And bye, mi Mariposa. Drive safe, let me know if you need anything while you’re out. I love you.”
“We love you too. And m’speaking for the moody one, too.” Joel chuckles and rubs your bump once more before sending you on your way, watching and waving from the door as y’all drive away.
The plan for today had come about when you started to notice Sarah growing quieter, retreating to her room more often after family dinners and denying the chance at movie night some days. Joel had noticed too, but was a bit nervous to broach it with her, not wanting to make her feel bad about being more independent.
Your relationship with her though was much different to Joel’s. There was the foundation of your caretaking role with her, much more of a friend with authority when it was only you two before you were anything close to a parental figure. More open and, well, you could relate more to what she was going through. She confided in you first about girls at school being catty, about her growing crushes on boys in her grade. And this year, only a month after your due date, she will officially become a teenager. It was a strange time in any girl’s life, full of growing pains.
And on top of all of that, add on a new baby arriving. Attentions drawn elsewhere, priorities shifted to preparing for the baby. Sarah never fell to the backburner in your minds, but you didn’t know how she was feeling. Guessing by her quiet actions, you could tell she was feeling left out but didn’t want to stir up trouble.
Always the sweet girl. And you knew how that was.
So, you’d asked her for a girls’ day, excluding her dad from the fun and giving both of you some time with each other to feel like it was years before. It was all about Sarah today, no mentions of baby — no buying diapers or supplies or clothes. A promise made to yourself to make Sarah feel special, because that is exactly what she was. The baby on the way may be your first biological child, but nothing can compare to the unique bond that you have with your Sare Bear.
The day was spent waddling throughout the mall, helping her pick out new outfits and shoes for the end of the school year. Collecting a haul, you two stopped off for lunch and a trip to the nail salon before you finally made your way back home in the evening. Sarah was smiling brightly in the passenger seat, joking around with you and eagerly telling you all about the latest school drama. Your heart was about to burst with how much she’d come out of her shell again all day, even wanting to show off her new things to her dad when you both got back.
In the living room, Joel greets you two from the couch, eyes widening and a low whistle leaving his lips when he sees the damage done, “Quite some shoppin’ there, Bug. Y’all buy out the whole store?”
You wave him off and encourage Sarah to show off her haul, walking over to settle onto the sofa next to Joel. The younger Miller excitedly starts pulling out pieces and showcasing them, excitedly telling her dad exactly where she plans to wear them. His hand rests on your leg, attention completely focused on his daughter in front of him, squeezing you gently when she gets particularly worked up over something. You can tell he feels what you were in the car, heart bursting that she seems like herself again after a day spent with you.
“That’s nice, Sare Bear. I like the color,” Joel comments on the last shirt Sarah holds up, her smile still beaming as she tosses it back into the bag.
“Thanks, Mom actually picked it out! I thought it would be fun to have for camp this year, since I’m gonna start the counselor training program…” Her voice trails off as Joel listens intently. You, on the other hand, take deep breaths to hold it together, the simple moniker rolling off of Sarah’s tongue so naturally. Your heartbeat thumps in your chest, and baby Miller kicks her feet against your tummy — equally as excited.
You manage to keep it calm while Sarah recaps the rest of the day before she gathers up her shopping bags to take to her room. As she’s leaving the room, she’s quick to run over and give you a hug, leaning down to meet you where you sit on the couch. Your belly sticks out between the two of you, but regardless you pull her into a tight squeeze as she says thank you. Her curls bounce as she scampers off upstairs, the quiet sounds of her feet in the hallway queuing your watery eyes to overflow and for your nose to sniffle. Joel is grinning brightly next to you, pulling you into his lap and holding you against him as he wipes the few happy tears away.
“She called me Mom…” you whisper to your husband, afraid to admit it any louder as if it would disappear.
Joel presses his forehead against yours, a sweet kiss against your lips before he whispers back, “You have no idea how happy it makes me to know she feels that way about you.”
“I just…I feel so lucky. And maybe it’s hormones, but oh my god, I can’t stop blubbering. I’m a mom.”
“You’re the best mom. Have been to Sarah since she met you, and you’re going to be the best mom to our little one on the way.”
June 21st, 2009.
The first day of summer.
It’s the first day of summer and you’re stuck inside. Not at home, no, you’re currently propped up in a hospital bed with your legs in stir-ups, breathing in between contractions. Exhaustion weighs on your body, a full hour passing of you pushing in time with the pain in your abdomen that radiates all over. Sweat sticks your hair to your forehead and Joel sitting next to you brushes it out of the way. His other hand is limp in yours, ready to be squeezed with a vice grip whenever you need to push. Joel leans over you in level with your head, lathering on encouragements.
“You got this, Mari.”
“So strong, baby. You can do it.”
“Thank you, mi amor, thank you thank you thank you.”
The last one comes after a string of complaints against him doing this to you — despite you both knowing you begged for it nine months prior — and for having such a big head in his own baby photos that he had to have passed down to the baby.
Another wave kicks in, your doctor and nurses coaching you to give another final push. Putting every last bit of your energy behind the flex of your muscles, groaning out with pain and frustration before a piercing cry fills the room. Heavy, tiny sobs ring in your ears.
“You did it, baby, m’so proud of you. Our little girl,” Joel says in awe, glancing between you and where the doctor holds your little baby girl, summoning Dad over to cut the cord.
She’s taken away to be cleaned up and Joel returns to your side, ready to help you attentively through the afterbirth. You wave him off, begging him to go keep an eye on your little girl. Once she’s clean enough, the nurses lay her on your bare chest, the sight of her tiny fingers and toes bringing about your own cries. Your hands hold her there, delicate touches brushing against her soft skin and her damp but full head of dark brown hair.
The rest of the process is painful but smoother, shorter. Before you know it, all tests are done and Joel is next to the bed again, wiping a damp cloth across your forehead.
A rush of adrenaline, pure unfiltered need and excitement to meet your daughter keeps you awake, sitting up carefully as you accept her into your arms from your husband who’s wearing the biggest smile. He sits on the edge of the bed, hand on your leg as you study the features on her small face.
“She’s perfect, isn’t she, Mari? Looks like her momma.”
You beam, shaking your head as you place a fingertip against her nose, “See, I think she looks like her daddy. Already got the grumpy brow.”
Both of you laugh, your unbridled attention on the tiny bundle in your arms as you gush over her for minutes longer. Joel rubs your leg, drawing your eyes up to him as he asks, “So you think we picked a good name?”
“I think we picked a perfect name. Our ‘S’ girls,” you grin at him before looking down at your little girl, “Skye Isla Miller. I think it suits her perfectly.”
A bit more time is spent between only the two of you and Skye before you’re itching to see your eldest, and for her to meet her little sister. Joel retreats to where Sarah’s in the waiting area with Tommy and Maria, who’s now three months pregnant herself, waving her to come back with him. She nervously enters the room, quiet as a mouse until you reassure her with a smile and welcome her to sit in the bed next to you.
Joel makes the introductions, voice thick with emotion as he stands over his three girls, watching as his first little one meets his second, “Sarah Elena, this is your baby sister, Skye Isla.”
Sarah quietly asks permission to hold her; you lay Skye in her arms carefully, teaching her how to support her head and where to avoid her soft spot. Sarah picks up on it like a natural, adjusting her little sister when she fusses a bit, finally settling into a new set of familiar hands.
“Dad said you did a really good job, Mom. With everything today. S’pretty cool that you brought a whole person into the world…” Sarah glances over at you with a shy smile before addressing both you and Joel, “M’really happy she’s here.”
“You’re gonna be a great big sister, Bug,” Joel beams with pride as he squeezes her shoulder, leaning over to press a kiss to the crown of your head. He hums as he looks over you three, “Got my Mariposa, my Bug, and my little June Bug. Mi maripositas. Don’t think anything could beat seeing my three girls altogether finally.”
You find yourself observing your family from afar, listening with muffled ears as Joel and Sarah chat about who Skye got what features from. Cheeks aching from smiling, you can’t help but think that this summer was off to the most wonderful start, and that every summer after was only going to get better.
taglist: @beskarandblasters @undrthelights @swiftispunk @joelsversion @asirenbyanyothername @ellenmunn @ja-ehyun @sw33tp1xie @marisemonteiroo @brunetteeras @bongsrconfusing @addictedtotlou @angie2274 @pedrostories @pedroholic @theelishad @johnwatsn @elissa @felicityofbakerstreet @atinylittlepain @northernbluess @cannolighost @casa-boiardi @wannab-urs @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @fishingforpike @msjarvis @walkintotheriveranddisappear @sugadolly @yazsos @peppesgirl @pastawench @anoverwhelmingdin @wolfbook87 @mswarriorbabe80 @planet-marz1 @kiwisbell @lizzie-cakes
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So now that we’ve seen modern dad aemond, could we please also see canon dad aemond? 🥰 (also maybe how/if he would react differently to a son vs a daughter, if you think he would) tia!
We most certainly can, friend! thank you for asking! Like I've said, dad!Aemond is something I enjoy reading a lot but never thought to venture into it myself. Here goes!
Dad!Aemond headcanons
Ever the dutiful son, the prospect of extending the bloodline was a certainty in Aemond's mind.
But he rarely thought about it, always considering it a distant event. He never thought of himself as a parent or imagined how he'd be. He didn't have the greatest examples after all. And because he thought he'd be betrothed to someone he didn't love, he was less than enthused about children.
But he married you.
He married you and now his whole world changed.
The first year, he was content with being alone with you. He wanted to bask in your presence, to thoroughly enjoy yourselves before adding another person into the mix.
But as soon as that last year was through, whenever he bedded you, some primal feeling began to seep inside his mind each time he made the conscious decision to cumming inside of you instead of pulling out like he'd been doing before.
It was all fun and games but when the Maesters told you you were with child, it all became so real. And he began to worry.
Could he be a good father? a loving one? or would he damn his child to a fate similar to his own? He bowed to be better than Viserys, but of course, it was all easier said than done. Especially when your pregnancy had been so difficult.
He worried constantly about you; it seemed the pregnancy had brought more anguish to you than joy. You were constantly in pain, and the delivery was complicated. He thought he was going to lose you, so he bowed that you would only have one child. He couldn't put you through this pain again, couldn't risk losing you.
Then finally, she came into the world.
Time stopped, the moment the baby was cleaned up and wrapped in a fine cloth, then placed into his arms. His heart had never beat this quickly, and he'd never known a tenderness like this.
She was the tiniest little being he'd ever seen in his life, the tiniest thing he'd ever had in his arms. What he felt was a rush of anxiety but also an overwhelming amount of love.
Elaena Targaryen was born, to a man that had suddenly become the most loyal, protective, and loving parent in the whole realm.
Because you'd suffered so much pain during childbirth, he had no problem with letting you heal and relax and preoccupy himself with the baby's care. He wanted to do everything himself, not trusting the Maesters or handmaids with anything whatsoever.
Sometimes he's a little too overprotective, and you have to calm him down and talk some sense into him. Assure him that nothing would ever harm Elaena when both of you are around, but that he needs to let her explore and discover the world on her own sometimes, otherwise she'll grow to resent him.
Still, when she's playing in the gardens, he keeps a watchful eye over her.
Elaena takes after her father in many ways. She's well-behaved and mostly calm, but she's adventurous like you. She's also very loving, and loves to be in her parent's embrace at all times.
Though she has most of Aemond's physical features, all her mannerisms and quirks are yours. During the first two years of her life, he was endlessly amazed at learning more and more about her, to see her personality develop and mirror that of her mother. As if Aemond didn't love her enough already.
When Elaena is two years old, something unexpected happens.
You find out you're with child again. An accident this time, but certainly a welcomed one.
This pregnancy leaves you even weaker than the last. You're convinced, at some point during labor, that you're not gonna make it. But by gods, you push through, if only thanks to Aemond's strong will, holding on to your hand the entire time and begging you to stay with him.
Finally, with fierce cries, Aeron Targaryen is born.
And Aemond is just, speechless. He was so used to being the father of a girl, that the prospect of raising a boy suddenly made him mad with glee. He was instantly curious about the personality of his boy, if he was going to be as calm as he himself had been, or if he was going to be mischievous like Aegon, brave like Daeron. Would he connect with son, as easily as he had with his daughter?
He didn't much time to think about it on the spot because suddenly, the Maesters were urging you to push! Again?
And in came his third child, Vaella.
Twins!
As he held both children in each of his arms, he didn't quite know what to do with himself. He thanked the Gods for this wonderful gift and thanked you for blessing him with three loving children. For giving him all the love he always yearned for, and that he thought he'd never get.
He never knew love could just, keep on growing like this. He was afraid of taking something from Elaena and making her feel left out, but it wasn't the case at all.
Elaena, even for her young age, was excited and very caring to her siblings.
Aemond used to think that happiness could only be found on dragonback, or in the solitude of the library.
But now he knows that happiness is a lazy morning in bed, surrounded by his wife and his three children, who want their father to tell them stories while holding them close. In their eyes, Aemond is the greatest man in existence. Period.
Happiness is a sunny day out by the shores that surround the Red Keep, with the sound of his children's laughter mixing in with the splashing of ocean waves.
It's when he watches Elaena on her first ride with Vaghar, and even better when she rides her own dragon.
When Aeron beats him during a sword match when he’s still a preteen, and then, when he beats everyone that defies him in tourneys by the time he’s a young adult.
And when Vaella fills his desk with drawings, as the calmer and quieter of the two children. When her two siblings yearn to go on adventures and see the world, Vaella wants nothing more than to stay home with her father. Taking walks with him through the gardens or roaming around the city, hidden with cloaks.
Aemond thinks he used to know pride, after riding the largest dragon in the world, being well versed in history and philosophy, and being the most agile swordsman in the realm.
But pride is when he stands during a family gathering, with Elaena by his right; a far graceful dragon rider than he. Strong and protective of her parents and younger siblings. Shooting death glares to anyone who dared looked at Aemond wrong.
Aeron to his left; intelligent and brave, more cunning than Aemond ever hoped to be, able to outwit whoever doubted him, and get back at those who spoke ill of his father with polite yet deathly responses. Though he was kind and had a strong bond with his mother. Just like Aemond and Alicent.
And young Vaella, forever holding onto Aemond’s hand, the most attached to her father out of the three. The most creative and calm spirit Aemond had ever known. She brought peace into his household when Elaena or Aeron’s temper got a hold of themselves. She’s Aemond’s eternal companion during the night, both cuddling against one another while reading a book.
#aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen headcanons#i know that tag is for patch but that's where all the dog dad!aemond content goes to sa;kdflkjf#aemond targaryen x you#aemond targaryen x reader#headcanons#aemond targaryen hcs#hotd#house of the dragon#fanfiction#aemond targaryen fanfiction#ewan mitchell#my writing#aemond's children
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Hey! I've been loving all of your MOTA posts lately, especially your insights into Gale and his unhappy childhood. Do you think there are any specific ways that the trauma from that bleeds into his domestic life with Bucky? Any nerves that sometimes get struck on without Bucky realising that's what they are?
Thank you so much! Yes, my headcanon is that this happens sometimes. I came up with a few examples, but there could be more.
In a post-war canon AU:
Gale is shit at expressing his emotions because he learned to suppress them. Post-war, this causes a lot of problems. The silent treatment is not a constructive way of solving disagreements.
If he wants to talk to Bucky / it's dinner time or similar situation and Bucky doesn’t pay attention to him because there's a sports event on the radio, Gale flips out. Unreasonably so.
Interestingly, he doesn’t have a problem with drunk Bucky initiating sex with him but only if he does it in the bedroom or bathroom. Drunken advances in the kitchen, the hall or the living room make his stomach roil. It’s very specific, and given Gale’s communication issues, Bucky is thoroughly confused why he’s so roughly turned down sometimes while Gale is on board on other nights.
This isn’t a negative thing, but Gale is obsessed with soft beds and blankets. He isn’t very picky about furnishing their place but the bed has to be perfect. After so many nights spent on hard surfaces both as a child and as an adult, he craves this comfort. He’s all smiley and cuddly when he’s in that bed.
In my HS AU, when they move in together during college:
Gale jumps at every loud crashing sound, especially glass shattering. He’s withdrawn for hours if someone accidentally breaks a glass or a plate.
Once, Bucky comes home drunk from a party in the middle of the night, and it scares him. He’s instantly on high alert and won't sleep much after. Actually, he moves to the couch that night. When Bucky realizes what happened, he’s very apologetic, but it's not the last time he goes to a party without Gale. But from then on, he stays out all night, sleeping at friends' places. It really upsets Gale but he only tells Bucky this months later, when everything comes to a head. After that, Bucky doesn’t do this anymore.
Gale is triggered by the sight of empty booze bottles. Full ones he doesn’t mind, but empty ones make him anxious.
Gale doesn’t know how to decorate and make a space welcoming so he doesn’t understand why Bucky grouches about their apartment being too sparsely decorated in the first few months. Then, when he finally starts to get more into homemaking, he’s nervous to share any ideas, even small ones - e.g. he spends long minutes staring at souvenir magnets because he doesn’t know which one works best or he agonizes over choosing a frame for a photo.
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hey~ fellow writer here!
Do you have some modern/college au Dan Heng x F! Reader head-canons? Your writing literally fixes my writer's block tysm!!!!
Maybe once I get my life together we can be writing friends :)
🩵🩵🩵
dan heng college au headcanons
PAIRING. dan heng x f!reader
GENRE. modern au, college au, fluff
SOF'S NOTE. HI HI FELLOW WRITER :3 ty for the req i hope u enjoy these random college hc's hehe + i hope u can get thru ur writers block soon 🥺 and we can be friends even if ur not in a writing phase rn !! i def don't mind, new friends are always welcome 🩵🩵
dan heng seems quiet, but he is definitely not shy
he joins a few clubs that he has sincere interests in and attends the meetings pretty regularly
he mets you in one of them
you’re paired together for an awkward club bonding activity but somehow hit it off
from there you hang out on-campus together
study sessions in the library, late night fast food runs, early morning cafe meetings… you easily become a big part of his life and he enjoys every moment of it
he is not much of a party person, but he will go with you if you ask
the frat bros try to get him to rush but he isn’t interested in joining (he has enough on his plate as is)
when he’s at a party with you, he holds your drink and watches over it when you go to the bathroom
if you ever look uncomfortable with a guy trying to dance with you, dan heng is there by your side in an instant
he has 100% had to pretend to be your boyfriend to get persistent men off your back
one night you ask “what if you really were my boyfriend?”
dan heng wonders if you’re asking sincerely or as a joke, but you just smile and giggle instead of elaborating
dan heng is a diligent student and enjoys his studies
however he will get sidetracked during study sessions by going down random, semi-related rabbit holes instead of the actual topic at hand
dan heng is an avid proponent for office hours
he will go whenever he has questions or ideas
he offers to go with you if you get too nervous to go alone
he walks you to the professor’s office and waits outside for you to finish, giving you a small pep talk and gentle squeeze on your arm to calm your nerves
dan heng is supportive and sweet and everything you’d want in a bf :3
during stressful times when it feels like everything in the world has piled up (projects are due, exams are coming, group presentations are scheduled), he feels like he can come to you for comfort
you’re both drowning in work but at least it’s together <3 and you always remind him to take breaks when he needs
once, when he was really swamped with work and extracurriculars, he became too stressed and got sick
you make him a care package with some medicine, cough drops, tissues, tea packets, honey, and a little teddy bear to keep him company
you come over to make him soup even though he says not to bc he doesn’t want to get you sick
you wear a mask and come over anyway, not wanting your best friend to be alone while he’s both stressed and sick
“don’t forget to take care of yourself,” you say worriedly, wiping the sweat of his forehead with a cool cloth and serving him some soup in bed (you’re in college so the soup is just chicken flavored ramen with egg added, but it’s the thought that counts)
dan heng realizes how grateful he is that he has you
in his sick and dazed stupor he says he wants to be your boyfriend and kisses your cheek
you ask if he really means it
dan heng’s eyes widen when he realizes what he just said but he didn’t take it back. he meant it, after all
“yes, i mean it. will you be my girlfriend?”
you get so excited you nod and kiss him, forgetting he’s sick
you catch his cold the next day but easily decide it was worth it :3
#dan heng x reader#dan heng headcanons#hsr x reader#hsr headcanons#honkai star rail#hsr#dan heng#honkai star rail x reader#dan heng imagines#hsr imagines
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