#body is sore as a motherfucker
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chasing euphoria in-between anonymity
#been a hectic couple of days#last day is today#ending with the cure#body is sore as a motherfucker#I just wanna stay home and play video games and play with primrose#anyhow#my photos#concert#concert photography#turnstile#riot fest
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what would happen if simp fwb haechan saw oc kissing at a party or something
mdni. nsfw 18+
pairing: fwb!lee haechan x reader
warnings: unprotected sex, creampies
“hey siri what’s the fastest, easiest, most painless way to die?”
he would see you making out with jaehyun at a party, sitting on his lap and grinding on his dick and all, and seriously would contemplate murder-suicide for a good sec. like why does that slick motherfucker jaehyun always get all the bitches? you’re literally his and everyone knows how down bad haechan is for you, so why would jaehyun even dare to put his grimy hands on you? he wouldn’t even confront you guys at first, he would just start drinking vodka straight from a bottle he found lying around.
texting mark and be like “just caught y/n cheating on me”
mark: “are y’all even dating”
haechan: “yes”
mark: “?when?”
haechan: “…okay actually no but-“
mark would later find his wasted ass on the balcony about to jump and have hold him back. he’d call you like “y/n come get this loser”. and you would hear haechan yelling in the back like “SHE’S FOR THE STREETS”
you’d stomp up stairs to collect him, finding him drunk and wasted out of his mind.
“no! leave me alone, you cheater! go back to sucking faces with that manwhore i don’t even care,” he whines and pouts, kicking and squirming around in your arms as you carried his ass to a random bed.
“stop being a brat, hyuck. you need to calm down. i’m missing out on good dick because of you,” you’d roll your eyes at your best friend’s childish antics.
haechan would look up into your eyes, his face red from all the drinking and lips jutted out from pouting so hard. “baby, you know you’re mine. why do you need to go to anyone else for dick when you have me in your back pocket?” fat tears would well up into his eyes as his lips quivered.
your face softened as you gave him a crushing hug. “don’t cry, hyuck. m sorry; i didn’t know you saw. but we’re not exclusive, yknow?”
he buried his face into your neck, deeply inhaling your sweet your sweet smell. you could feel a few tears on your skin. “don’t remind me.”
you stayed in that position for a good while, as haechan sniffled and sniffed against your neck. he was quiet for a bit, which made you think he fell asleep, when all of a sudden he pinned you down on the bed before you knew what was going on. he pressed his body against yours, using his weight to hold you down, and grabbed both of your hands and held them above your head. he used his thigh to rub and grind against your already throbbing pussy.
“m tired of this. m tired of you playing with my feelings like this. sucking face with one of my guy friends, rubbing it in that you’re not my girlfriend yet. the reality is: you’re fucking mine. mine. my girl. everything about you is mine and it’s been this way since we met when we were kids and you were the sweetest girl on the playground.” he whispered lowly into your ear and licked your earlobe as he did this. he reached one of his hands down into your pants and started playing with and teasing your little pussy.
you whined and bucked against his hand. “hyuck”
he took his hand out and slapped your pussy. “ah. let me finish, slut. you’re fucking mine and i’m gonna prove it to you. no one will ever make you feel like i do. you drive me crazy and i’m so obsessed with you. i love you, baby. i have always loved you and i will prove how much i love you and this pussy.”
your poor pussy was so sore and bruised the next day you couldn’t even walk or sit right. and he refused to wear a condom and finished inside you multiple times that night. oh yeah, and you guys came out as official the next day.
#nct dream smut#nct dream x reader#nct smut#nct x reader#nct dream#lee haechan x reader#lee haechan#haechan x reader#haechan smut#haechan
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Imagine reader pulling bunny yan (Jackal) ears to force them out of their room but jokes on the reader bunny yan (Jackal) is into it
Oh this dickhead was really pushing your nerves lately.
You weren’t sure why, but your roommate had become an increasingly bigger brat over the course of the last week or so. Almost immediately beginning after you had been gone for a night with some old college friends.
Dishes weren’t washed, clothes were tossed half assedly in the corner. He was stomping his foot every time you’d talk to him, and it had even gotten to the point where you’ve been exiled from your own bedroom!
And you had been sleeping in jackals room, till the asshole barricaded that door too!
So now, with a sore neck and stuff back, you’re having to march your way to your bedroom door and drag his cotton ass out for a civilized conversation.
“Jackal get out of-“
“No.”
Deep breaths. Deep breathes. The feeling of nails digging into the soft skin of your palm just barely kept you grounded.
“Jackal. Will you please-“
“No.”
“I’m gonna kick your fucking ass!”
Staying calm was not your strong suit. At least not with the six foot rabbit hybrid on the other side of the door.
“As if you could.”
This motherfucker
You almost wanted to laugh at the way he screeched when you kicked your own door down.
“Holy shit what the fuck are you?! the hulk?!”
Your lips pulled back in a mean taunting snarl, as you rolled up the sleeves of your shirt. Dark eyes following the exposing movement of your forearms, a button nose twitching just slightly.
Jackals dark black ears were perked in defense, and his stance made it clear he was ready to bolt any second.
So, with the practice of having chased down the hybrid before, you launched forward, letting out a mocking battle cry as your arms wrapped snuggly around his midsection and propelled him against the wall.
He let out a pained grunt, fingers twisting into the back of your shirt to tug you off but your pro-wrestling marathons did not leave you floundering. With your firm grip, you lifted the muscle bunny as much as possible before slamming him on the ground as your cushion.
Hands grabbed at fabric and skin, teeth barred from both party’s as you two wrestled across the floor of your bedroom.
“Calm the fuck down!”
“Me?! You broke down a fucking door and sumo’d me to the floor!”
Your fingers brushed past dark curls, before sliding against the cool interior of his twitching bunny ears.
And you tugged hard.
Though admittedly, the noise you heard was not what you expected in the slightest.
A high pitched moan, followed by bucking hips startled you enough to lose your grip for a moment. Foolishly. Large hands gripped your waist and pulled you flush against a heaving chest, before the world spinned and suddenly you were on your back again.
You could only stare with wide eyes at the panting bunny above you, who’s dark eyes had dropped almost tiredly, but glistened with a shine you weren’t sure you wanted to name.
His tongue darted across his full lips, as he stared down at you, and you shivered as his fingers rubbed circles against your hips.
Hot breaths fanned across your cheek as he leaned forward. “that was mean, roomie…”
The sudden shift in tone, both from the man before you and the air itself startled you slightly. Like a switch was flicked faster then you can react.
A hesitant scoff left your lips, though it sounded more wheeze like. “Didn’t sound like you minded…”
The air was so thick, you couldn’t tell if your heavy chest was from jackals body or the tension that bloomed between the two of you.
“Still hurt..” He tutted, nudging his face into the crook of your neck with a low chirp.
“You should make it up to me..”
The audacity of this guy! “Make it up to you??! You’re the one who’s been a dick all week!”
A nip at the skin of your jaw made you sputter for a moment, and your fist raised to smack him upside the head again.
“…”
But instead, you sighed tiredly. You had missed your roommate. He was a cuddly guy by nature (at least that’s what he told you), and you had quietly mourned the loss of warmth that you so often woke up to. Or the arms that circled your waist as you microwaved some leftovers. Or the couch cuddling during movie night.
You even missed the way he’d wait by the door for you to come home from work and smother you against his chest as he checked you over.
So,
You let your previous anger melt away, for now, and let your hand fall against the back of his head gently. Your back arched slightly as warm fingers slid underneath, pulling you nice and close to the big bunny man who stressed you to no end.
“We’ll..talk about your behavior later..I’m too tired.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook- GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY ASS-“
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Snooze
Part 2 of "How Long"
pairing: f!reader x brother-in-law!joel miller
description: the next day, you're stuck in your own head about last night. how can joel change your mind and make you stay? spoiler, he can't.
word count: 6.1k
warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, pre!outbreak joel, this is mainly just angst. mentions of cheating. some sexual tension and talks of sex. this skips ahead 2 months in the middle, so a slight time jump. name calling, pet names also included.
author's note: this is part two of "how long"! I wanted to get into the smut but I wanted to add this kinda as a way to guide the reader through the next parts. and yes, there's more coming! enjoy joel being soft for reader.
Maybe it was for revenge in the beginning, but Joel made you feel like the woman you wanted to be all along.
You wake up in his arms, and for the first time in a long time, you felt safe and secure. His soft snores were cute and not annoying like Tommy’s loud and obnoxious snores. His expression when sleeping was so precious, his nose wiggling and his brows not furrowed in their normal spot. When he notices you stirring, his snores fade and his eyes slowly drift open. Once he sees your staring, he gives you a lazy smile.
“Mornin’ sweet girl,” He grumbles, stretching his legs and making his biceps flex under your neck.
“Howdy,” You say softly. You sit up from the warmth he brings you, realizing you are still naked from your escapades. You grab a blanket from off the floor, wrapping it around yourself as you search the room for your clothes.
“Want to borrow somethin’ from me?”
The offer sends chills down your spine. You turn to see him standing up from his side of the bed. He’s naked too, and good heavens, he’s hard. You physically couldn’t pull your eyes away from the man’s body. His upper body sculpted but as you trail down, a small pudge forming where his tummy is. Your lips twist upward, watching him sulk over to his dresser drawers. He opens the second drawer down, pulling out a pair of black sweatpants. He looks towards you, noting your expression.
“You perv,” he groans, tossing you the pants, “My room, I can walk around naked.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, catching the pants. He’s so unserious and your laugh only enables his bad behavior. He shakes his head, opening another drawer to search for a t-shirt. He finds an old t-shirt he got at country music festival back in the early 90s. It felt like a lifetime ago, but it was one of the most worn t-shirts in his collection and he was secretly dying to see it on you.
You pull the pants over your naked bottom half, suddenly taking notice to how huge they are on you. You take the drawstrings and tie them as tight as you can get them. The pant legs would drag across the floor, for sure. You felt so tiny in his clothes.
He walks the shirt over to you instead of tossing it at you. When you realize what shirt he’s giving you, you let out an excited squeal.
“I used to joke to Tommy I would somehow steal this shirt from you,” you explain, snatching the folded gray shirt from him, “Finally!”
“Yeah, all you had to do is fuck me.”
It’s so blunt, it makes your excitement fade quick. When you glance up to meet his eyes, the twinkle makes you draw a conclusion.
He’s fucking with you, dude.
“Now it’s mine forever, motherfucker.”
His eyes widen at your response. You never cussed like that in front of him, especially when it came to calling him a name.
“You’re lucky you’re cute, girl,” He grumbles, watching you drop the blanket from your upper half, exposing your boobs do him. His dick twitches when he sees that he left a lovebite right beside your nipple.
You were so perfect to him.
“You’re lucky I’m sore from last night,” You murmur slipping the t-shirt over your head, “Or else I’d… I’d do dirty things to you Joel.”
He creeps forward, his eyes darkening at your suggestion. His eyebrows find their usual spot, the crease in between them growing deeper. You couldn’t help yourself. You were physically incapable of not wanting him. To think you’d spent so long with Tommy, wasting every day trying to manage his chaos, and you were missing out on this. On Joel Miller standing butt naked in his bedroom with a hard on, practically begging you to suck it.
You were so fucked.
“How sore?” He tucks your tangled locks behind your ear, his pointer finger finding the curve of your neck, down to your décolletage. Truthfully, you weren’t that sore, just a bit worn out from spending hours crying, only to spend more time having the best sex of your life.
Your hand finds his, letting his fingers dance around your chest down to the swell of your breast. Just when you’re about to give in, you hear a bang on his door.
“Dad! Wake up! I want pancakes!”
You practically jump out of your skin, throwing yourself back and away from Joel’s reach. You put your hands over your mouth, trying to disguise the slight gasp that leaves your lips.
His lips form into a perfectly straight line, “I’ll be out in a second, kid. Can you run next door and ask Jimmy for some eggs?”
“Do I have to?”
“If you want good pancakes, yes!”
The way they talk to each other makes you smile under your hands. You hear Sarah moan in annoyance, before running out the back door and over to the neighbor’s house. Joel rolls his eyes, finding a pair of pants and a t-shirt for himself. You watch him get dressed, still standing like a puppy waiting to be released from their crate.
“Just go upstairs and mess up the guest bed a bit, then come down and act like you just woke up. We don’t havta tell her bout you and Tommy unless you wanna.”
You contemplate his words for a moment. Maybe telling Sarah her uncle is a sociopathic cheater wasn’t the best way to start her morning. You quickly decide that you’d tell her that you two decided to take a break.
“I’ll tell her we are taking a break or something and that I was just super upset and came over to clear my head.”
“Great idea,” He mumbles, opening up his bedroom door, “Now get your pretty ass upstairs and stumble down in like 10 minutes acting tired and sad.”
You smack his shoulder as you walk out in front of him, “I am tired and sad, asswipe.”
“All these slanderous nicknames, what happened to my good girl from last night?”
Your core clenches at the words. You knew he was toying with you and you wanted to give in so bad, but you were on a time crunch at this point. Sarah would be coming in at any second. As you try to leave Joel’s reach, you feel his hand on your shoulder. He spins you around to face you, grabbing the nape of your neck. He pulls you up, leaning down to capture your lips into a quick but eager kiss.
You always felt self conscious about kissing in the morning because Tommy always commented on morning breath and how disgusting it was. You literally wouldn’t kiss him until you brushed your teeth in fear he would find you repulsive. Joel didn’t care though, he wanted your kisses every moment of every day.
After getting a piece of you last night, he knew he was going to have a hard time resisting the urge to have you in his bed every night. He had a crush on you for so long, pushing aside his feelings, knowing it was so wrong to like his own brother’s girlfriend. But now his brother’s actions were finally coming to light after years of suspicion, and Joel knew this was his chance to treat you the way you deserved to be treated.
“Git,” He says, pulling away from you, swatting your ass as you walk through his house to the staircase. As soon as you’re halfway up the stairs, you hear Sarah come back into the house. You pause, waiting for them to start talking.
“Why’s her car up front?”
Joel pauses for a moment. You hear him taking a mug out of his cabinets, “She and Tommy got into it last night. I told her she could crash in the guest room.”
“What about?”
“Adult stuff, don’t worry bout it.”
You roll your eyes, creeping up the stairs and into the guest room. The last time you found yourself in this room, it was to sleep next to Tommy after you two drank too much with Joel and a couple friends. Thinking back to it, you remember that was the same night he told you he really didn’t want kids. You laid in the same god forsaken bed and cried until you fell asleep.
Tommy really didn’t care about you. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, him cheating on you. You just really didn’t want it to be with your own sister. But truthfully, you’re glad it was a world shattering cheating scandal. It made you never want to see his stupid face again.
You grab the duvet off the top of the bed and throw it around. You lay in the bed, making the sheets crinkle. You needed to make it look like you actually stayed in this room, just in case Sarah peered in.
Once satisfied with your work, you stand up and head downstairs. It had only been 5 minutes and you already smell freshly brewed coffee. It makes you smile, ready to share a cup with Joel.
“Mornin’,” Joel says plainly, glancing up at you from the mixing bowl placed on the island. Sarah is seated at the barstools, watching her dad slave over breakfast.
“Mornin’ Millers,” You say, falsely rubbing your eyes to make it seem like you had just woken up seconds ago.
“Weird to see you here on a Sunday morning,” Sarah comments, pulling the barstool next to her out. She wanted you to sit next to her and explain what happened, you could see it on her face. She had just turned 14, so she knew it was a curious case when her uncle’s girlfriend was crashing in the room next to hers. “You and Tommy good?”
“No, he uh,” You look up at Joel who’s stopped his stirring. You give him a look like “hey I think I may tell her the truth”, and he nods. Even if it means Sarah would look at Tommy in a different light, she should know her uncle is imperfect and capable of fucking up his life.
“He admitted to cheating on me on our ride home last night. I left him on the side of the road and called your Dad to go get him.”
Saying the story out loud sounds so absurd. It almost didn’t feel real.
Sarah’s mouth falls open in shock and disbelief. Joel decides it’s his turn to quip up.
“I told her she could come here and stay until she was ready to face him,” He explains, portioning out pancakes on a buttered pan, “I picked Uncle Tommy up from the side of the road and took him back to their apartment. He will probably be calling here shortly. He needs to come get his truck.”
Sarah had questions, hundreds of them.
He seriously cheated? With who? Are you going to break up? Am I never going to see you again? How could he do this?
What catches you and Joel off guard is when she slams her fists on the island.
“What an asshole!”
Joel’s eyes fly open in shock, but you choke out a laugh at Sarah’s comment.
“Hey, language,” He looks over at you, his shoulders tense, “And you shouldn’t be laughing.”
“Sorry,” You admit, standing up from the chair to find your way around to the coffee pot. You knew the ins and outs of the kitchen, so you find a coffee mug in the cabinet next to Joel. You start to pour some of the pot into your mug, just as Sarah poses a question.
“Is that my dads shirt?”
You stop your actions like you just got caught in the act. You slowly put the pot back on the heated stand, waiting for Joel to say something. Please save me, you beg silently.
“She needed pajamas last night. She was wearing her outfit from Tommy’s party, not comfy to sleep in.”
Nice save, Joel.
You nod and try to avoid eye contact for the rest of the time Joel’s making breakfast. While Sarah continues to ask questions, you just shake your head and sip your black coffee. You usually drank it with some creamer and sugar, but you needed the bite of the coffee to bring you to life. Joel cooks pancakes, eggs, and bacon, all things you’d like to eat but after Sarah’s interrogation, you feel sick to your stomach. Joel prepares you and Sarah’s plates, putting them in front of you both. Sarah chows down immediately and you just poke around the plate, pretending you’re eating. Joel notices, watching you closely as he munches on a piece of toast.
As you finally take a bite, the landline rings behind you on the wall.
“Probably Tommy,” Joel swallows, heading to the phone to pick it up. He was right, it was Tommy. You hear his whiny voice over the sound of Sarah humming while she eats. He’s upset, telling Joel that he needs to find you to apologize.
“She’s here,” Joel mutters, disregarding any emotion he may feel, “She came here after last night.”
“Why there?”
Joel rolls his eyes, “Because she didn’t want to go home to your drunk ass.”
“Can you tell her I’m sorry?”
You can feel Joel tense up, finally meeting his eyes as he pulls the phone away from his ear. He looks at you, his eyes asking if you want to say anything over the phone. You don’t even think, you just snatch the phone from his grasp.
You hear Tommy’s labored breathing over the phone, like he is crying.
“You wanted to say something to me?”
You voice is even, not showing any emotion that is bubbling in your stomach.
“Baby,” He stammers, “I’m so sorry.”
“Okay,” You hold your breath, waiting for the right words to say, “I want you out of the house by the end of the day. I’ll get Joel to come get you so you can ge-”
“Baby, please! Please I’m so-”
“I’m not done talking, Tommy.” You pause, inhaling quickly, “We are done, okay? I’ll have Joel come get you in an hour to get your truck that I bought for you, and you will be out of the apartment I pay for, and you will be out of my life. I don’t want apologies. I want you gone.”
You turn to see Sarah and Joel gawking at your immediate and demanding response to Tommy. It wasn’t something you were anticipating to say, but once you started, you couldn’t stop. You didn’t even think through your demands, but you knew you couldn’t stay in the bubble you were in at Joel’s house forever. You paid most the rent at your shared apartment. That truck was something you helped pay for. He needed to be gone in order for you to figure your next steps. Truthfully, after your last conversation with him, you wished you never had to speak to Tommy ever again.
You knew that the reason he was really sorry was because he got caught and his living situation was up in the air. It had nothing to do with actually feeling bad for ruining your sense of safety and security. Tommy was a lot of things, but you did see a future with him, somehow.
“I’ll just have Ryan bring me over there. I’m not waiting around for Joel. He seems too busy playing house with you. Stupid bit-”
The line drops and you stand there in shock. You weren’t even upset, you were angry. He was so quick to change his tune when he realized you weren’t going to be manipulated again. It made your whole body go red hot.
“What did he say?”
Sarah was silent, unsure how to navigate such an awkward moment. You don’t even know what to say, so you just slam the phone onto the machine.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to see him when he gets over here. I may-,” You censor yourself, remembering this is probably a weird situation for Sarah. You can’t say what you really want to say.
“What did he say?”
“He’s having Ryan bring him over to get his truck.”
“What else?”
Joel knows he had to say something to rile you up, and he knows his sorries were just conditional. You knew that too, but it hurt to hear him so bitter again. You begin to come to the conclusion that the alcohol wasn’t what made Tommy bold last night, that was just him showing his true colors finally.
You just shake your head. Joel dismisses Sarah before she can finish her breakfast, but she knew it was probably in her best interest to hide away in her bedroom anyway. She doesn’t object, just grabs her plate and carries it upstairs.
Joel leans against the counter, waiting for you to finally speak up. You know what Tommy said is going to send him into a rage, so you bite the side of your cheek.
“’s gonna be here any moment. Do you want me to ask him what he said to you? Or would you rather share with the class?”
Ugh.
“He said you were playing house with me.”
You don’t tell him the name he called you, it would only make him more angry. Joel brings his mug up to his lips, hissing as he slurps it up. His bows his head, wondering how he’s going to probably make this situation even worse.
Joel wanted to say fuck it and fight for you, but that’d be selfish. He had been pining for you forever but you on the other hand, didn’t even think he was an option. You had never given a relationship with Joel a thought until last night. Tommy was always your first and final choice. You were fiercely loyal and Joel knew that. So, sure, he wanted you to drop every thought of Tommy and just stay. But he knew you couldn’t.
You didn’t want to be the reason that Joel didn’t talk to his brother anymore. You don’t want to be the reason Sarah doesn’t have a relationship with her uncle. You felt like your feelings for Joel only complicated things. Of course they did. And what exactly were the feelings? Was it just a rush because it was so new and different? Or did Joel actually make you feel unconditionally appreciated?
You can read Joel’s expression for the first time. He’s pleading with you.
“Sweethe-”
“I don’t want to be the reason your family falls apart,” You mutter, trying not to cry as you say it. You were surprised you even had any tears left after last night.
Joel rounds the island, approaching you with every intention to give you a big hug. You stop him though, your hand resting on his broad chest. Your memory serves you right, mapping out the front of his chest with your finger tips, waiting for him to say something else. He doesn’t say anything though, he just roughly grabs your hips, walking you to the corner of the island.
“Tommy is the reason our family fell apart,” He explains, lifting your butt to the edge of the counter. His hands then rest on your upper thighs, rubbing circles as you lazily wrap your arms around his neck. Your heart was racing, knowing Tommy could walk into Joel’s house like he used to. He’d see you pinned to the counter by Joel and he’d draw all his conclusions.
“You were the cheater this whole time,” you imagine him saying.
“He will be here any minute, Joel.”
You couldn’t have everything blow up in your face all at once. You needed Joel to know that you were thankful for him, but you didn’t need an added stressor to your life right now.
You look into his desperate eyes, wanting nothing more but to plant another kiss on his downturned lips.
“I am going to change and get out of your hair. I have to,” Your brain starts going a million miles a minute, trying to explain yourself, “I have to call my family. I have to… I have to rebuild my life, Joel. I’m sorry, this,” You gesture to him and yourself, “This complicates a lot. I need.. I just need time.”
He steps back, shaking his head. He knew that’d be your response. It stung, but he had to try to push aside his feelings for you.
You hear a car door slam out front, making your nerves go into overdrive.
“I’ll go give him his keys. Let him know you’re not interested in talkin’.”
You just bite your lip, slipping off the counter.
“Can you tell him to leave his key under the mat when he gets his shit out? He has until tonight.”
Joel starts to bound to the front door, beating Tommy to the knob.
“Yeah, I’ll let him know,” He turns to you finally, “And you don’t have to change. Keep my shirt. You’ve wanted it for awhile, it’s yours.”
-
2 months later
From: Joel Miller
Sarah has been begging to see you. I’m making lasagna tonight and I remembered it was your favorite. Would you want to come over ? If you’re not busy?
You had ignored most of Joel’s texts since Tommy moved out. You had spent the last 2 months trying to figure out your entire life. It was flipped upside down overnight, so you needed a moment to catch your breath. Joel understood, of course. You’d text him every now and again, just to let him know you were doing okay.
You sit at your desk at work, glancing at your calendar pinned to your bulletin board.
Of course you didn’t have plans for a random Wednesday night. Tomorrow you had Thristy Thursday with some coworkers. But tonight was going to be the night you lit up one of your last couple joints on your balcony and smoked until your eyelids got heavy. Maybe you would call your mom and ask her if she’d heard from your sister.
Your mom had heard what happened two days after everything went down, and was totally on your side, which was nice. She couldn’t believe your sister had the audacity to do such a thing. You’d vent to her for hours, eventually crying and wishing she wasn’t across the country to give you a hug. After your parents divorced a couple years ago, your mother decided she needed to live her life far away from your dad, so she moved to Maine. Random, but you respected her for getting away and living her life on her terms. She told you that you should do the same. You laughed between tears, telling her maybe you would.
After your sister was confronted with the fact that you knew all about her and Tommy, she cried and begged for forgiveness. You decided to spare her your true feelings, opting to just tell her to stay out of your life for awhile. You’d ignored her calls and texts after that. It was your father who called you a couple days later to tell you that she had checked herself into rehab for abusing alcohol and pills.
As sick as it was, your mind went straight to karma. It was bittersweet. You told your father to let her know you were thinking about her and hope she got better. Your dad said she was going to move to Dallas with him once she got out of treatment. It wasn’t far enough away from you, but it would do.
You stare back down at your phone, reading Joel’s text several more times.
Just you and Sarah? You type.
It was a dumb question to ask, but you had to be sure Tommy wasn’t just hanging around his house like he used to. You’re almost positive Joel would’ve told Tommy to stop coming around, but you can never be too safe.
He responded quickly.
From: Joel Miller
Just us. She wanted to show you her new CD player too.
You can’t say no, especially now that it’s not just Joel you’re neglecting. You had been around Sarah most of her life and she always loved having you around. You were almost like a big sister she never had. She always begged you to come to her soccer games, her chorus concerts, and birthday parties. You never missed one.
She always gave you insight on the newest trends and she was quick with her humor, which always had you laughing until your stomach hurt. If you were going to go to the Miller household, it would be to hear all of Sarah’s life updates.
And maybe to see Joel. His presence would not be lost on you.
You hover over your keyboard, overthinking your response.
Okay, yeah. I can be over around 6?
You glance back up at your computer screen, seeing that it was already 3. You’d be out of work in an hour, then you’d have to see Joel.
You hadn’t seen him since you left his house with your pile of clothes, sporting his old t-shirt and sweatpants, completely dazed and confused at the curveball that life threw you.
You did wear that shirt he gave you almost every night.
Your phone dings.
From: Joel Miller
Sounds good. I’ll let Sarah know, she will be excited.
You shake away all your doubt and take a couple deep breaths, getting back to some emails before you’d go home and get ready to face your past.
–
“You came!”
Sarah opens the door to see you practically shaking in your new heeled boots. She reaches out and grabs you, giving you the tightest hug.
“Hey, kiddo,” You grin, returning the squeeze, “Your dad promised me lasagna and you, so of course I had to come.”
She giggles, pulling you out of the chilly air. The Miller house has this distinct warmth that always comforts the deepest parts of your soul. Even when you and Tommy were together, your favorite place to hangout was Joel’s back deck and living room.
You haven’t ever felt so nervous to see Joel. You round the corner to the kitchen, only to see him slaving over the oven. He looks relaxed. His hair is a bit more shaggy than usual. He’s surprisingly not in any work gear, wearing a blue t-shirt and khakis, with no stains. He put on his best outfit, just for you.
When your eyes lock, you just try your best to give him your best cheesy smile. You had no idea what to say to the man. Hey, I miss you a lot. I find myself comparing every dick I have had in the last two months to yours.
That would land well.
“Hey there stranger,” You opt to say instead.
He drops the knife he’s using to butter some bread. He’s reaching out towards you, grappling at your waist and the bottle of red in your hand.
“Hey, I’ve-… I mean we’ve missed ya,” He gives you a half hug, putting the wine down on the counter. You feel weird touching him like this. Especially in front of Sarah. He smells like you remember. Sweet strawberry shampoo and whatever laundry softener he puts on his clothes. His large hand pulls away from your waist and you instantly miss it.
“I’ve missed y’all, too. Anything I can do to help?” You gesture towards the spread he has laid out. It’s mainly just fresh garlic diced up and some Italian bread cut up into slices.
“Why don’t ya open that bottle? Wine glasses ar-“
“Above the dishwasher, I know.”
—
Dinner was intertwined with Sarah telling stories about her first weeks of school and you devouring your weight in lasagna. Joel just nodded along, piping in to say something sarcastic to Sarah or smile at your sauce stained lips. You sip on wine, progressively getting more and more relaxed due to the alcohol flowing through your veins.
It was like old times. Except you didn’t have Tommy interjecting to shoot down your ideas or him and Joel getting into a small tiff about something that happened 10 years ago. It was nice. After dinner, when Joel was starting on dishes, Sarah brought you up to her room to show you some new stuff she bought. She played you a Britney Spears CD on her new stereo, telling you about how many discs it actually held. She even confided in you that she had a crush on a boy in her math class.
“You better not tell your Dad. He will have a cow.”
You feel a presence behind you occupy the door. You turn quickly, seeing Joel leaning against the door frame.
“Have a cow about what?” He grumbles, crossing his arms at you two. You smirk, shaking your head.
“Nothing, Dad,” Sarah utters quickly.
“Yeah, Dad, it’s none of your business.”
He rolls his eyes at your sarcasm.
He only came up here to grab you for some alone adult talk, and here you are gossiping with his daughter and harboring secrets. Deep down, he loved it. He appreciated that Sarah felt safe enough to come to you and talk to you about things. You were always a great role model for her.
“Okay, fine,” He raises his hands in defeat, “Sarah, you gotta get up for school tomorrow. Start gettin’ ready for bed.”
“Bu-”
“No buts. You’re not goin’ in late tomorrow. Shower and bed.”
She stomps her foot, annoyed with him and his demands. You just giggle, grabbing her arms and bringing her into a hug.
“I promise I’ll be around more. You call me any time, okay? I love hearing from you.”
She crushes you with her little bony arms, “Don’t be a stranger.”
You pull away, gesturing Joel to scoot out of the door frame so you could head downstairs. He follows close behind, his foot fall in sync with yours.
“You wanna stay for another glass? Stil half the bottle left.”
You bite your lip. You shouldn’t, but you want to talk to him without a child present. So you nod eagerly, heading straight to the bottle once you reach the downstairs. You pour yourself some into your stained glasses, giving him the last splash.
“Wanna hang outside? May be more private.”
He wanted privacy because he wanted to pick your mind. He also wanted updates on your family. How everything went down with your sister. Your parent’s opinions on the situation. One thing about Joel was that he wanted to hear your buttery voice talk about anything and everything.
You two walk out the sliding glass door, finding spots on the outdoor couch Joel had for most of Sarah’s life. It was falling apart and water damaged, but it was where you and him had spent long nights having conversations when Tommy was drunk and asleep on the couch inside.
“You uh, talk to your sister?” He asks, settling into the couch, keeping an appropriate distance from you.
You breath out loudly, “Yeah, she’s in rehab.”
“Holy shit, cause of what happened?”
You take a sip of wine before you answer, “No, she was on some heavy shit, I guess. Maybe that’s what gave her the audacity to fuck Tommy.”
“Yeah maybe. You talk to him at all?”
“He left me a drunken voicemail a couple weeks ago. Other than that, no.”
You had woken up in the dead of night to get water and saw you had a message on your home phone voicemail. You pressed the button, letting his wasted voice slur your name. He was begging to come back. Said he made a mistake. He would never do it again, yada yada.
“He’s already bringin’ another girl around my parents. Some chick from that bar he’s always at with his buddies,” Joel confesses, “My ma is confused.”
Your stomach flips a bit. You were curious how Tommy was doing, but not out of desperation or anything. You just wanted to know if he would survive on his own.
“I knew he’d be quick. How does your mom feel about it all?”
“Disappointed but she enables his shit.”
Joel takes a sip of his wine, licking his lips after he swallows. You watch him closely, trying to not make it obvious that you missed the way his tongue traced yours that night.
“Yeah that’s fair. He’s her baby.”
He nods, letting the silence fill the air. He doesn’t want to ask about your dating life, but the question was festering in his mind. He couldn’t help himself.
“Have you been seeing anyone?”
“Not really.”
“What’s that mean?”
“I’ve slept with other guys but no one to really ride home about. They weren’t-“
He cuts you off quickly, “Tommy?”
“No,” You contemplate for a moment, gripping the stem of your wine glass tighter. You know if you weren’t drinking, you would never let the next word slip your lips. But it does.
“You.”
You weren’t planning on confessing that to anyone, especially Joel himself. But the tension was rising in your chest and he’s sitting here, under the moonlight, giving you those damn puppy eyes.
He raises his eyebrows, not expecting you to say something so upfront and honest. The relief that floods him was satisfying, though. He hadn’t even thought about another woman since you.
You mainly had random hookups to try to fill the void you felt due to not having someone around all the time. You weren’t ever fully into them, but you needed to feel something. That something was never itching that itch you had, though. The closeness you craved wasn’t strictly sexual.
“Yeah,” He mumbles, looking down at his socks, “I can’t uh… I can’t stop thinkin’ about you.”
It makes your heart grow 7 sizes to hear him say that. The guilt you anticipated feeling about sleeping with Joel never came. You instead missed him more than any other part of your 7 year relationship with his brother.
“The feeling is mutual.”
The moment is shattered when you hear a pounding on the glass door. Sarah stands there in his pajamas, her toothbrush in her hand.
Joel signals her to open the door, which she does a bit too hard. The door shudders loudly as Sarah jumps over the threshold.
“Jesus kid,” Joel groans, setting his empty glass down on a table nearby, “What is it?”
“We should invite her to my soccer tournament this weekend!”
“Soccer tournament?”
Joel huffs, “She has a big tournament this weekend in Houston.”
“You should come!”
You shoot a look at Joel, “I mean, I am free. But is that okay with you? Are you guys staying somewhere?”
“Yeah, the Marriot downtown. Her whole team is stayin’ there. We have two beds in the room, so you could squeeze. Only if you want to.”
He was praying you’d say yes.
“That’d be fun,” You drink the last drop of your wine, “Count me in.”
You want to think you’re doing it for Sarah, but truthfully, you were itching to get more time with Joel. You were almost positive you made plans with a guy from work this weekend, but you could care less about cancelling something if it meant you could get to stay in a fancy hotel with Joel and support Sarah from the sidelines.
Sarah squeals in excitement, running outside barefoot to throw her arms around you.
“I promise we will win!”
It sends you into a fit of giggles.
“I’m sure you will, kiddo. Now get inside, your feet will get all gross without shoes on.”
Joel quips up, “Brush your teeth, then bed. ‘Ya hear me?”
She straightens up, saluting him like a solider dramatically, “Sir, yes, sir.”
You both watch her prance inside, giddy that you’d be around to watch her on the field. You can’t help but feel loved by the girl. She really made you feel important.
Joel clears his throat, “You can say no to her, yanno?”
“No, I really can’t,” You scoot to the corner of the couch, pushing yourself off of it, “I should get going.”
“Yeah, I got a big day tomorrow,” Joel lies. He didn’t have a big day, he would literally be sitting in his truck thinking of you while his work crews do all the heavy lifting. He stands up to walk you out, wracking his brain if he should… hug you? Kiss you?
“Thank you for inviting me to dinner tonight. I guess I’ll see you guys this weekend? Will I just meet you here Friday evening so we can head out?”
“Yeah, planning on leaving around 5:30,” Joel explains, getting the sliding glass door for you, “We can just come by and get you.”
“Yeah don’t want Tommy to drive by and see my car in your driveway, right?”
“I could care less what Tommy’s thinks.”
part 3 coming soon
#joel miller#joel miller smut#joel miller fic#joel miller x reader#the last of us#joel miller the last of us#joel miller one shot#pedro pascal#joel miller gif#joel miller fanfic#joel miller tlou#joel last of us smut#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal gifs#gracieheartspedro
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AGORA HILLS
ellie williams x reader
『••✎••』 after your date turns into a night of hell, love is there to show you how sweet life is about to get. | 7.9K
ೀ THIS IS A SERIES | FOR ALL PARTS GO HERE
ೀ SERIES MASTERLIST | CH.3
ೀ i wanna say a biggg thank you to bookie @openupforme for encouraging me to whip up the scene where ellie tries readers ethnic food and also being the sweetest 🥹 love u bb!
ೀ description: MODERN AU! VIOLENCE! ANGST! DESCRIPTIVE MENTION OF BLOOD L/FIGHTING! MAJOR FLUFF !!! FLUFF, MILD ANGST, latina!reader, mentions of smoking weed and drinking, mentions of Joel throughout, ellie learning spanish!!! (i lowk had too much fun this), kissing/makeouts, ellie and jesse indulge in reader and Dina’s ethnic food, mention of y/n (___).
CHAPTER FOUR
❝ i wonder how he would feel if he knew his girl was a dyke ❞
❝ what the fuck did you say? ❞
Ellie’s voice rang through your shut-out ears inaudiblely.
it felt like the entire world just stopped moving, your hearing becoming obstructed by ringing, muffling any sound or voice as your mind completely shut down.
you felt your entire system almost reset with pure rage, absolutely loosing it.
your mind might’ve shut down but your body senses didn’t fail you as the only thing that continue to ring through your mind was each word that left that man’s mouth.
your brain pounding with the words.
❝ i wonder— ❞
❝ how he would feel if he knew—❞
❝ if he knew his girl was—❞
for you, it was all unraveling in slow motion as your minds clouded your conclusion thinking.
for Ellie, she was ready to punch the man, speaking up “what the fuck did you just say?” but within the blink of her own eyes, you had already charged at the man.
your vision was vermillion, blinded by rage.
your body was auto-response, having a mind of its own. your manicured nails dug into the skin of his flesh as your hands clawed onto him after charging at him.
your first punch was sloppy and impactful, the adrenaline was enough to numb the painful sensation that would bring you hell later, your manicure scratching his face.
your knee dug into his rib-cage as you were onto of him, each one of your hands landing their very own ablaze blows to his head and face. you didn’t care to check if you had broken a nail or for anything in that matter.
your only focus was him like your own mental target as he was clearer than day, now under you while his hands struggle to force away your own. your anger gave you enough adrenaline to strengthen yourself; overpowering his attempts of trying to roll you under him.
you had finally recognized the motherfucker.
it was your ex’s ex-coworker from his old job, he had met you a couple times when you and your ex-boyfriend would hang out with his old group of work friends.
if it wasn’t for his stupid name-tag, you wouldn’t of even remembered that the prick’s name was Cameron.
yeah, that name definitely rang a bell.
the only reaction to your own proper thought was your impact against his face plaguing him more than before, your furry only festering more.
all you could think about was your ex.
he cheats on you and then he goes around telling his friends, what? come after you for leaving his ass? like they had the goddamn right?
your mind was in a tormental frenzy, one frantic thought being replaced with another, now all you could hear was his words again.
❝ how he would feel if he knew—❞
❝ he—he—he—he ❞
each mental repeat was violent scratching hit to his face.
Ellie just stood there, awe-struck because of how quick everything emersed into a violent situation. she was ready to charge at the man, but she wanted to talk her shit first.
she was a shit talker as much as she was a fighter.
but you? there was no words, just raging punches.
you were sure your fists were red, cut up, and sore; possibly even fractured but you couldn’t see with the hair in your hair and your body thrashed against his hands that tried to grab a hold of you aggressively.
you could hear mumurs and gasps from people, heavy footsteps of the restaurant staff buzzing around you as his hands punctured a squeeze into your arms your hand managed to pick his head and throw against the restaurant floor.
your throat gutted out a shriek of anger, suddenly being pulled off by random hands off the now, bloody bruised man.
the second ellie heard you scream, she was pulled out of her struck-stuck trance, immediately running to the staff member that was able to pull you off of Cameron.
“don’t you fucking touch her!”
ellie yell echoes through the restaurant, another staff member running up infront of ellie “If you get involved, we will be pressing charges!” the random restaurant staff member warns ellie.
she shrugs off the staff members hands off of her before running over to you as you were yelling for the random staff member to let go of you, trying to wriggle yourself out of their embrace.
“you need both need to leave this establishment now!” another staff member yelled at the both of you as Ellie reaches out to grab you, the staff member letting go of the tight hold they had on you to release you towards Ellie.
you’re body was shaking with violent thrill, laughing almost manically. “you need to check the people you fuckin’ let work here!” you spat back loudly, you look around at the crowd of other restaurants guests began to form around the entry room.
“FOR EVERYONE’S INFORMATION, I JUST BEAT CAMERON’S ASS WHOM YOU MAY NOT KNOW BUT IS THE TRASHY WAITER THAT YOU DON’T CARE TO TIP CAUSE HE LOOKS AND IS BUILT LIKE AN ASSHOLE”
you didn’t care that you looked crazy making the announcement as you squirmed in Ellie’s hold, flanting your blood-covered arms around with each yell and your dress also slightly being covered in someone’s blood; not caring if it was yours or his.
“____, your arm!” Ellie said, immediately reaching out to hold it.
you adverted your gaze from the crowd, who know looked at the man who had now stood up from the floor; surrounded by the staff as the crowd whispered to each other.
he broke through the flesh of your arm when he squeezed you, slightly dry, yet oozy blood beading down your arm.
“leave now before we call the police!” the staff warn once more.
you heard ellie softly reassure in your ear. you leaned into her as her back against the front door.
but you had one thing to say before you left.
“go ahead and tell him, then tell him i said, ‘i fuckin’ dare him to show up to my work again. he will end up alot worse than you’—” you began as your eyes burned into his fucked-up face.
you didn’t care if anyone was looking nor caring for anyone else; making sure he picked up on every single word you said.
“tell him—its not a threat, its a promise fuckin’ marícon!”
just like that, Ellie’s back pushed against the front door.
༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻
what a great way to end the fucking night.
you both walked across the bumpy asphalt pavement of the parking lot. the cold breeze finally stinging your wounds, you couldnt help but let out a loud wince.
youre entire body felt on fire, mental completely overwhelmed by all types of emotions.
you were shaking with leftover furry, you wanted to cry your eyes out, you felt embarrassed, and most of all, you were scared.
you weren’t scared of what just happened or what your ex wanted from you. you were scared of how ellie might see you; you were scared of the questions she might ask.
your body was worn out, your legs wobbly as they ached from all the thrashing around. you guys walked closer to her car but eventually your legs gave out.
you slipped onto the floor, tripping over nothing but the own pain inflamed in your ankles and knees.
that was all it took for you to breakdown.
“hey hey, we’re almost there—talk to me.” ellie catches you almost immediately.
she laid you softly onto the dirty rocky pavement alongside you, resting half of you ontop of her. she couldn’t of cared less about the dirty floor, frankly caring to have you lay on her instead of the dirty public pavement.
she lulled you and hummed against your ear as you sobbed uncontrollably in her arms, no thoughts just tears. “c’mon baby, we’re almost there and everything will be okay” her whispers sounded like angels talking as she covered your shaking body with her arms.
you gasped out through choked sobs “i—can’t—go home like this!” you cried out, you can’t imagine what you would have to tell your parents; with them having to see you bloody with bruises.
Ellie mustered up her strength to pick you up from ontop of her, her hands strongly holding you up by your waist; hauling your body softly “s’okay, its all okay—i can talk to Joel—shit! lets cross everything off tonight!” she jokes light-heartedly, trying to ease up the overwhelmed tension inside you.
it works, of course it works.
she knew how to make you laugh, you couldn’t breathe almost from how much you laughed earlier during dinner. you couldn’t help but let a teary smile tug your flushed face as you looked into Ellie’s eyes, giving her small meek chuckle.
her heart shattered just seeing you cry, she takes one of the hand that was around your waist tightly; once you reached the doors of her car, she took your face and wiped the tears that dripped down your cheeks.
Ellie felt a hulking weight on her shoulders seeing you breakdown the way you did, she could care less about the ravenous rage she just seen you go through. she cared more about the fragile woman she had in her arms.
this was completely different, this moment exposed your vulnerability; not only yours, but Ellie’s aswell, to each other.
this whole situation completely contrasted the side you showed to everyone, the side Ellie was used too. the woman who walks into any room with her head held high, challenging, and ready to take on anything with your fierce self.
“I really really dont want to meet your dad covered in blood and bleeding” your tone was no longer shaky or croaked, still keeping its sensitive tone as you spoke back light-heartedly.
ellie knew you were serious through your playful tone. she gave you a soft smile as she opened the car door for you, even helping your aching body get in carefully.
once you were both in the car and settled, you calmed down more; even quicker than you thought with the help of Ellie’s embrace and reassurance.
“can you take me to Dina’s—you can come, but i understand if after tonight—” once you began to speak, you were cut off by ellie immediately.
“no, i don’t care to hear what leaves your mouth—it ain’t true, pretty. wherever you go, im going.” ellie poured out, looking into both of your eyes like she was searching in them.
“if that’s okay with you” she finishes, her eyes glistened softly as her eyes loved on you.
you could almost start crying again. well, you did.
“put dina on the phone—let’s call it night, alright?” she wiped each singular tear that dropped from each of your eyes, pressing a soft kiss on your temple.
༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻
Ellie helped you up the apartment hallway stairs, helped you all the way towards the elevator till you were at Dina’s front door; even holding you up as you jingled the keys into the lock.
this was a definitely story-time.
you unlock the door, hand turning the knob as you let yourselves in; almost immediately you hear your name being called out by Dina through her apartment.
you were greeted by your bestfriend who ran up to you, engulfing you. you rocked back slightly, catching yourself on your feet at the impact of her hug.
“are you okay? what the fuck happened?” Dina’s rushes out, anxiety evident in her voice.
“Jesse?” you heard Ellie call out as your eyes examined the room, falling onto the man who was sat on the couch.
“i was here when Dina got the call…you good?”
it was endearing watching them, the way he picked up on how ellie didn’t even want to speak, just leaning into his side for a hug.
you let out a sigh, your arms grew weak as they loosen trying to embrace her. Dina held your body as she motioned for you to step out of your shoes.
your legs wobbled out with each little movement.
“hey jesse—sorry i look like a crime scene.” you joke out which he just gave a slight smile too “you look bad-ass.” he chuckles causing you to giggle, finally stepping your bare-feet onto dina’s wooden floor.
“you gonna be okay, ___?” jesse was concerned just as much through his wittiness. you give him a confident smile and nod, not wanting to let up your vulnerability again.
“im gonna get her cleaned up, ellie would you like a change of clothes?” Dina lets them know, wrapping her arm around you to hold you up, leaning herself into your semi-limp body to help you step.
“i’d appreciate it Dina, thank you!—also i hate to fucking ask but i need a smo—”
“Bong’s on the kitchen table, Jesse has the pack.” Dina smiles out before helping you down her apartment hallway into her bathroom.
༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻
“remember Cameron?” you nettled out, breaking the silence between the two of you as Dina bathed you.
“that one guy you tried to get me to go on a double date on with you and your ex?”
“yeah, him—he works at the restaurant we went to eat at.”
“jesus christ—” you cut her off.
“he recognized me the second he got to our table Deens—he was giving me this fucking look.”
“what the fuck did he say?”
“he didn’t say anything at first—as we were walking out of the restroom—”
“i thought you guys were eating, why were you both in the—”
“Deens, let me fucking finish!” you whine out as she continues to scrub down your naked body with the personal loufa you leave for when you sleepover; washing away the blood into the water down into the bath-drain.
“sorry sorry—im listening.” she gets up momentarily to open one of her bathroom cabinets.
“we were about to literally leave, Dina—so close through those fuckin’ doors—he goes ‘i wonder how he would feel if he knew his girl was a dyke’ i just lost it.”
“wait, ‘he’ as in….” Dina began to trail off.
“yes!—hearing ese’pendejo mention him—then that fucking word.” you grumbled out, feeling angry again.
Dina came back with hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol, and a couple healing ointments along with the cotton pads to tend to your wounds.
Dina had already got done helping you finish washing up in the bathtub, the hot water was still running to keep your tense muscles from aching continuously.
your knees were a bit scraped up, slight yellow tint underlying in your skin;you knew you would wake up with those to be purple the next day.
Dina picked up one of your arms first, later on tending to the other.
“he did this?”
she looked at each puncture in your skin, a crease-cutting through indents of each five nails digging into each of your arms.
you scoff. “Si no lo hubiera hecho en su lugar de trabajo, me estarías rescatando de la cárcel ahora mismo.” (if he didn’t do it at his workplace, you would be bailing me out right this moment.)
you weren’t kidding. Dina knew you weren’t, even with the slight giggles you both let out to lighten the mood as she tended to all your wounds precisely. she finished up by aiding each arm, wrapping around a white gauze around before putting her fluffy robe on you.
you both made it back to your room for you to change into comfortable clothes and pick out some of your clothing for ellie to wear.
the midnight definitely made up for the encounter you and ellie had to go through earlier. the four of you spent the night passing the bong around, you and ellie specifically getting so high out your asses.
you were all indulging in the sweet playful haze the terpenes fogged inside your bodies. nothing was serious, popping jokes left and right; shit, even the whole shitty was situation turned into a meer joke with the four of you.
“anything is fighting attire for this one!” Dina laughs out pointing at you, coughing out the smoke after.
“eesh! i believe it—you should’ve seen—she looked like a cheetah pouncing with that dress on!” ellie chuckles out, following Dina’s joke as her high low-eyes rake through you.
“idiotás…” you laugh out as you pass the bong to Jesse.
“hey! i’m not the one callin’ you ‘national geographic’—what does that even mean?” Jesse retorts playfully before hitting the bong.
“bro just add the ‘ass’ to idiot” Ellie makes fun of Jesse playfully while completely butchering the spanish syllable.
“oh ellie, stop talking!—your first spanish lesson will be with ___ tomorrow.” Dina teases.
you all soaked in the Dina’s living room full of marijuana smoke until the high laughter shared between all of you would take you all out into a slumber. it was later than 3 am by the time you all knocked out.
༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻
it was the next morning, probably the best morning’s you’ve ever had even with the excruciating pain you woke up with.
you woke up entangled in ellie’s arms, you both fell asleep on Dina’a couch while Jesse and Dina slept in her bedroom.
you fluttered your eyes open, head on her chest while each one of her arms was wrapped around you almost protectively. you could hear each beat of her heart as her chest heaved softly, mumuring in a pattern underneath the side of your head.
the feeling of her heartbeat was like listening to the pleasing sound of rain tricking against a window; bringing the same bliss, maybe even more as listening to her heartbeat lulled you in and out of sleep.
‘esto tiene que ser como se siente el paraíso.’ (this must be what heaven feels like)
ellie had her hands loomed into and through the texture of your hair, holding the back-side of your head slightly; cradling your head almost.
the atmosphere was incensed by the mixture of body-heat you shared through each others bodies. the warm felt like something stronger than a blanket.
the sun-ray shines through Dina’s tall curtains that covered her wide-spread windows, enhancing the two of you under nature’s glow.
you took in the way her fair skin contrasted your bronze one beautifully, the way her tattoos illuminated, especially the tattoo of her fern and moth; you admired all her small other tattoos.
she had a a cursive J on her other wrist, Joel’s initial.
on the same arm, on her arm cephalic she had a line that was a thin as a guitar string. you observed the small prominent ink and the way it wrapped around her arm.
ellie’s tattoos were simple but you knew they were symbolic in some way which made her tattoos completely beautiful to you. unknowningly, your hands had been caressing the soft skin of her arms as you traced over her tattoos; getting lost in her shut eyes.
“buenos días” you could hear ellie’s morning voice, her thick rasp as she grumbled out.
your eyes widen slightly taken aback, you were hoping she hadn’t sensed you staring. you dipped your face into the crevess between eachother’s arms; slightly embarrassed.
“mírala, primera día conmigo y ya sabes.” (look at her, first day with me and you already know.) you played with her as you hid your face away.
“hold on hold on, don’t get too confident in me now.” ellie retorts quickly, her eyes completely widen out of groggy slumber at the smooth quick pace of your accent; almost not catching onto any of the foreign words.
you let out a bit of louder laugh, god, she could even wake you up with a laugh.
“buenos días, bombón” the tension was like dripping sugary corn syrup, the most honeyed atmosphere you had ever been engulfed with and exposed too.
there was no way you could ever compare your ex to ellie. not in one singular way could the love you were feeling for ellie ever be compared to the love you have felt.
“should’ve payed more attention to spanish in highschool and Joel’s tutoring.” you tease her with a smile at the mention, how she miserably failed all four years of spanish even with Joel’s basic—practically ‘personal google-translate’ help.
Ellie grabs the pillow she was laying her head on to playfully hit you with it. your arm reflexes and reaches out your hand, just in time to stop the pillow from hitting your side. you both burst into a fit of giggles as you begin a soft playful morning tussle.
you grab ahold of the pillow that ellie tries to push closer to you with her hands, you eventually find the perfect moment to slip it out of her tight grip and throwing it across the room; taking one leg and hoisting it on her hip as you both laid on your sides.
Ellie rolled you over, trying to tip you onto Dina’s huge black furry carpet. you immediately caught yourself on the rest of couch arm-rest, leaving you on top of her, each leg bent to each of her sides.
this position was compromising in someway, you felt more connected to her like this. the smiles from your faces didn’t falter for second, but only shifted into admiration.
you both admired eachother, both of your eyes holding overflowing adoration. your essences soak into each other as ellie traces your tattoos. she replicated the treatment you were showing her from earlier as you studied the shape of her lips, how long her lashes were, and the way her hair fell down; few strands falling onto her face.
you were so used to seeing her with her hair up, she mentioned to you how it was just more comfortable for her, how she grew to enjoy the feeling of the breeze of her neck. maybe it wasn’t a big deal, but it was for you.
in some way you felt this as a way of ellie’s vulnerability, dropping her guard and allowing you to see her with such intimacy and in ways you had never seen her before,—you knew this was different for her too.
that was the thing with her, your thoughts to yourself continue as you lean closer into her, chests pressing together; aligning heartbeats as you got lost in a strong energetic haze.
the scene was ethereal.
the sun glowing trancing your deep embrace, silhouetting your skin-to-skin held contact onto the shined-on carpet covered floor. the way your head laid ontop of Ellies as her own dipped into the clavicle of your shoulder, her deep breathing feathering your collarbone and tickling you.
eventually your heads meet, foreheads touching as your eyes poured into each other. you watched the way Ellie’s eyes flicker from your lips to your eyes, then repeating. it seemed like an all natural action when your lips met.
the kiss was so gentle and soft, yet overfilled with so much. your lips tingled against the warm feeling of Ellie’s tongue swiping over your bottom lip, wanting more of your lips.
there wasn’t a single worry between the two of you. you brought your gauzed up hand to caress her cheek which she softly grabbed your wrist, departing from the kiss you shared to peck your bandaged bruised knuckles.
“i’m sorry about—”
”don’t you ever apologize for something you don’t have too.” Ellie told you sincerely, cutting you off.
“but you don’t understand—” you continued to push.
“ill understand with you, and if i don’t. you will teach me.”
Ellie didn’t even want you trying to protest once more, pulling you back into her lips softly. your lips continuing moving in a plush motion.
your hands found their way to her hair, entangling them through her smooth straight locks, massaging your fingertips into her scalp. you hummed contently into the savorful kiss that you shared; your mind wanting more, craving and needing more.
it felt like each wet passionate lock between each other was an eternity of bliss.
Ellie’s hands caress up and through your back, her fingers tracing your spine before resting them onto the dip of your hips.
“lesbians are making on my couch—okay! going back inside my room!” Dina calls out before quickly retreating into her own bedroom.
you both whipped your heads around, breaking your kiss instantly; just to catch the door closing shut.
you both fell into a fit of giggles as each other’s doed out eyes soaked into the morning aroma together.
༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻
the way the four of you spent the day together.
you all started off the day by settling to go to the classic old diner down the road for a good breakfast. it was 10:20 AM by the time you guys were smoking out of your purple ‘alien-looking’ pipe, as described by Ellie, herself.
maybe it was this morning, maybe last night.
it has now more than ever became clear to you exactly how Ellie had you feeling, being more handsy on both ends. you couldn’t help but feel as your skin was burning, if her hands weren’t there to cool you down.
definitely now more than ever, it was crystal clear.
“uhm, earth to the both of you!” Dina clears her throat, calling out loudly to the both of your attention.
a moment ago, your legs were on ellies lap as her hands caressed all up and down your exposed legs due to you wear some simple shorts. it wouldn’t be believable but you didn’t understand how quickly just a couple loveable leg rubs led to a mini make-out sesh behind Dina and Jesse in the passenger seat.
you both jumped away from each other, as if you had both been pulled into a trance as you both blinked away at your friends reactions.
“lets go before y’all eat each other for breakfast.” Jesse jokes out as he opens his passenger door causing a heat to rush onto ellie’s cheeks shut up—you kept us up all night.—ellie’s smart and quick to remark teasingly.
once finally seated into the cute diner, very vintage americana looking diner. the four of you were all seated into a red-seats booth that had a table with fake cherries for table decor.
you scanned the menu below, taking in all the options of different breakfast entrees; the variety of omelettes, sandwiches, toasts, and pancakes. you settled on frosted fluffy strawberry french toast while you ordered coffee.
“jeez, you and Joel—coffee lovers, bleh!” ellie grimaced in fake disgust and disbelief, making a forced disgusted noise after ordering herself.
“why thank you, Joel and I have taste.” you sarcasm out, giggling slightly. Ellie just admired the way your smile tugged your cheeks and creased your eyes joyfully.
Ellie matched your small chuckle as you spoke up. “we will mock your hate over our hot cup of coffee!” you lean in, bringing your pointer finger to poke at her dimpled cheek which she reactively crinkle her nose.
everyone finished ordering their choice of meals, indulging in humorous banter all together. you learned about how about ellie’s summer this one time Joel had a fling with this sweet mexican woman he completely fell infatuated with, how it was probably the best summer of her life due to the countless of grill-outs they both loved to have.
“oh so, your thing for latinas runs in the family?” you quirk causing Jesse to let out a holler as Dina snorts out, using her hand to cover her mouth.
“uh—what—how did you even come up with that?” Ellie stumbles over her word.
“nah yeah, it definitely run in the family.” Jesse chimes in with a smirk causing you to clap and laugh out just more.
“the both of you don’t have a single fuckin’ idea on what your on about!” Ellie retorts, for some reason, her cheeks rushing fusion.
as you were about to speak up, the waitress came with each one of your plates. you all ate silently, yet peacefully and happily. the silence connecting you all more if anything.
one hand held your dullish knife as your other hand held your fork; you held your toast down with your fork as your cut off a piece off your toast, gathering the maple syrup along with the topped frosted butter. you let out a moan of content as the sweet combination hit your tastebuds as your eyes widen in pure foodie-bliss.
the scene of you trying a delicious meal, savoring it too was possibly the most adorable and gorgeous thing you’ve done in the past month you spent with her, exploring eachother. you took a few more bites before your little amused grin while you swallowed your bites of food turned your grin into a smile as you began to cut another piece of your toast. you repeat the same steps before asking, well not really.
you held the fork up as you hummed loudly and excitedly—ready to airplane a spoonful into Ellie’s mouth.
“tè va a’ gustar…” you muttered under your blissed breath.
Ellie opens her mouth, grinning as she hears the little spanish sentence fall from your lips. you playfully do a small swerve, then eventually holding it close to her mouth for her to close her lips around. she kept eyes contact with you as she ate the piece of toast off your fork, eyesbrows raising in delight which you only nod your head, knowingly too.
Jesse and Dina watched the both of you amused before returning to their own conversation, how it was dina’s dream to roadtrip to California. you could hear her small talk drown out from your ears as the world felt like it spun, making it feel like it was just you two.
“it’s delicious, mama.” she hums out.
“i know, now say ‘que deliciosó’!”
Ellie tries her best to repeat after you, stuttering over her pronunciation.
“that was absolutely!—horrendous.” Dina fakes enthusiasm before completely deadpanning her expression.
“i would love to hear Jesse try!” Ellie claims, leaning into her own seated side of the booth.
“kay!—deli—si-o-so!”
you shared an awkward glance to Dina as Dina lips flatline completely, biting back a laugh as Ellies eyes meet yours before glancing at Dina. the table was silent as Jesse questioned what he said wrong, not holding in your laughter as you all laugh collectively.
“just stick to english, babe.” Dina consoles teasingly as you and Ellie try to catch your breath.
“i definitely did not sound like that!” Ellie laughs out, trying to catch her breath.
“easy Jesse!” you follow along, laughing in sync.
“the spanish lessons are for Ellie—not me.” Jesse immediately raised his hands up in the air as defense before going back to dig into the omelette he ordered.
now it was Ellie’s turn, she picked up the loaded crossiant sandwhich carefully. you shot her a small smile, moving your hair out the way slightly as you leaned in to take a bite out of her breakfast sandwich. you savored the buttery bread from the crossiant as the mix of cheese, hash brown, and mapled sausage mix into your mouth.
“ta—tè gusta?” she stumbled but managed to say it right. if your stomach wasn’t fluttering like a swarm of butterflies before, it definitely was now.
“mm!, muy rico.” you smile as you hear Dina clap, putting her fork down onto her plate of pancakes.
“okay spanish 101!, call Joel!—tell him Carne Asada at my house!” she exaggerates.
“girl, i know you kidding, but now, i want carne asada.” you tutt out before sipping on your coffee.
you all enjoyed your dinners together, laughing, conversating, and more importantly, bonding all the same.
“so, we hittin’ the store after this?” Jesse chimes with a stupid smile.
༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻
the trip to the grocery store was definitely….something.
Ellie and Jesse were like toddlers while you and Dina spent time hunting for the ingredients throughout the store.
“how about you get the drinks and let the—ahem, adults handle this.” Dina clears her throw, pointing back and forth between you and her.
“uh what—” Ellie began to protest.
“you—i need you to get limes, cilantro, and white onion.” you listed as you pointed to Ellie, whom immediately stopped talking.
“yes ma’am.” was all she said, before pulling you in for a kiss which you instinctively went to place your hand behind her neck gently, momentarily before pulling away.
“my beautiful man in the entire universe of ugly rotting men—who also happens to be of legal age!—get your sexy girlfriend liquor?” Dina remarks sweetly and dramatically.
“wow!, coarsing me into buying alcohol for you guys—that’s illegal.”
“look at you! knowing the law and shit—get us a bottle of Pátron Silver.” Dina quirked, giving him a kiss on the lips.
you all split up, each to their own getting what they needed. you picked out rice, brown beans, queso fresco, pepper/jalapeno, avocados, and of course, the steak. Dina grabbing any other ingredients needed.
once everyone was set, meeting at the store cart that Ellie strolled around.
“awe look at you guys! wasn’t so hard, huh?”
Dina playfully snarks out as you guys walk towards self-checkout. you watched the way Jesse playfully smacked Dina’s butt, kissing her forehead while at it. then, feeling a small arm sneak around the back of your waist.
“look at that straight shit.” she playfully icks out, getting a small giggle out of you.
༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻
once you entered Dina’s—it was go-time.
the sound of the kitchen rustling with a bunch of noise coming from the hustling around from yourself, along with Dina. you got to marinating the steaks as Jesse got the mini grill that was outside of Dina’s balcony.
music tunes through Dinas personal handheld speaker as you got your freshly washed hands dirty. you cut multiple limes, then bringing out the salt and pepper.
the entire time, every time you grabbed a piece of raw steak; squeezing the lime juice onto the meat before sprinkling bit by bit salt & pepper, Ellie watched.
she couldn’t help not too stare.
she admired the concentration you carried with the biggest smile on your face—especially impressed by the way you squeezed the half-piece lime with one hand completely.
“what’s meat in spanish?” Ellie asks innocently, slightly hovering closer to you.
your smile widen, your teeth glimmer as you passed the seasoned steak onto an empty glass platter for Dina to take outside.
“say carne, baby.” you keep an eye on her as you spoke.
“carne—oh!, its in the name.”Ellie slightly confuses.
you lean in to give her a small peck “ay cariño, you are so cute.”
“you did say spanish 101 today—what did you call me?”
“special nickname—just for you!” you shot her a playful wink. you could still see unsurity in her face. “nothing bad, baby—it’s a term of endearment.” you finish off, placing the second marinated steak onto the glass plate.
“venga para acá, let me show you how.” you signal with your messy hand. Ellie made her way around from the counter she was leaning on, walking uo slightly behind you before standing next to you.
“come over here, empieza a poner sal y pimienta—start to put salt and pepper.” you repeated after yourself. you obeserved carefully the way she began to pronounce each foreign word.
“slow baby—you got it, pi-me-yen—tà.” you her at the end as she didn’t sound too bad for her first try. Ellie tries once again as she lathers the meat in the salt and pepper, flipping the meat over to do the same on the other side.
you got closer, leaning your head on her shoulder as your hands went to grab the salt as she rubbed in the lime juice. you pour a bit of salt onto your hand as you get ready to sprinkle it. Ellie’s hand made moved away slightly before going back to the spots you sprinkle salt to rub it in; the both of your arms ontop of another, almost entangled as you both began to season together.
the intimacy was different, yes it was romantic; definitely not sexual—this entire moment shared together gave you both a sensibility of home. the sweet tension divert into domestic parallels as Ellie’s back met your chest like magnets, feeling the way your breath feathered against the back of her neck in gentle rhythm.
it wasn’t just the physical touch that made the both of your bodies feel like electricity firing through each other’s veins.
the senses you both individually carried feeling like it invisibly oozed into each other, interlocking your connected hearts.
Ellie melted into you, her head moving the tiniest bit. you took it as a signal to dip your head intonthe crevess of her neck and peppering kisses as both of your hands smeared among the meat. you hward the way a sweet little symph of a hum was enough to have your heart jumping out your chest.
you gave a Ellie’s hands a bit of space, letting her transfer the piece of meat with the rest of the seasoned pieces on the glass plate. Ellie turned her head to the side, the side of her face, partly almost facing you completely; that was till she turned her head completely, moving a hand away in the process to not keep her encaged.
you just poured into each other’s eyes, neither of you wanted to leave the aroma of this feeling.
Ellie leaned in, eyes jumping from your eyes to your lips. you both kept your hands lowered as they were covered in the seasoning and lime juice; nothing stopping her from the way her lips locked into yours intoxicatingly.
“lets take these out to them, mama” she pulls away with a goofy smile, hinting at the meat.
༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻
the sun had set and the late evening arrived, watching the way the orange sky smiled back at the four of you as you all created a night to remember.
the sound of Bachatá Xtremè’s ‘Te Extraño’ playing through as you and Dina took slight dance-like steps between each shot, chasing it by sucking on a piece of lime.
you both started off chill at first—making yourselves a little drink to sip on as you finished cooking and smashing the beans, dina finishing up the rice, and making the guacamole—the more spanish bangers came on, your amount drinks had gotten hefty.
Jesse was on the Grill, occasionally being pulled away from a very drunk dina to dance with her—kudos to Jesse though, he kept a pretty good pace.
♫₊˚.🎧 now playing: AGORA HILLS
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
right now, you were sat ontop of Ellies lap, puffing on the blunt she rolled. she had one arm cradling the back of you as the other passed the smoke between the both of you.
Ellie spent the day admiring the way you ran around all day, now that you were here; with her sat and seated. it was your turn to admire the strong gorgeous woman.
although the sun had set, the slight glow from the toned out blue sky perfectly sharpened her freckles specking across her soft face, the way her t-shirt hugged her, and especially the small muscle in her biceps that flex each time she took a drag.
“whatcha lookin’ at, mama?” she caught you, giving you a small smile as she passed you the Dutch.
“sorry—really wanted you to pass the blunt already.” your sarcasm lacing your sweet tone as you gave her fake look of dissatisfaction.
“oh! really!?” Ellie gawks, playing into fake offense.
you gave her a big smile you couldn’t falter. you brought the cigarillo up to your lips, inhaling and then exhaling before speaking, “i never said thank you.” you began.
“thank you for what?” she questions, the hand she used to hold the blunt to caress your face.
“for standing up for me, for being there, for literally—being here. you could’ve ran off and you didn’t.” your voice was sincere, nothing more.
“i would do it all again in a heartbeat, mama.”
your entire heart felt like a floodgate opening, allowing the sweetest taste of serotonin rush through.
“there isn’t a single thing i would do differently—change—now, i would give everything to not meet that jack-ass waiter.” Ellie says, her eyes not leaving yours as her words went straight into your heart.
you chuckle out “fuck him—that guy’s a friend of my ex. i didn’t even know he worked there.” you explained, reminiscing a bit.
Ellie was quick to stop any moment longer. “fuck them both, they mad to see you doing good.” she devotes, pulling you into her to kiss your forehead. the reassurance made your stomach flutter up.
“and with someone greater, too—in all ways.” you whisper out, leaning your head down slightly so your foreheads met.
you were in love with Ellie Williams, a feeling that you had never felt so strong.
“i wanna tell everyone you’re mine—show you off, make them all fuckin’ mad.”
before Elle could say anything else, you hear a drunk Dina cheer Listos para comer! (we ready to eat!) .
you all helped bring the food inside, setting the dinner table as chatter wisped between the four of you. the dinner table was scattered with all the delicious plates you all bonded over cooking.
it was like a cute family dining scene from a movie.
you all began to dig in, Dina looking over at you with a look that you knew exactly to return as you both silently waited at the table; your eyes moving from meeting Dina’s to Ellie and Jesse, watching them chew. you both waited with big grins as they both let slight moan and gasp from their savorful meals.
you and dina cant help the fit of laughter you break into which only confuse the both of them.
“don’t know what’s funny—you’re not gonna be laughing when im on one knee though.” Ellie was dead serious.
“ouh! i better be a bridesmaid!” Dina exclaims excitedly.
needless to say, you were beaming a deep rose through your cheeks, bringing your Soda Jarritos to try to cover your face.
the dinner bled into the night, completely being filled with overjoyed laughter and deep conversations—still, slightly making fun of their spanish pronunciations.
Ellie was sat right next to you.
“pass me a tortilla, amor.” you let it out without a thought, you caught yourself, slightly stumbling as you tried to excuse the little epithet that left your lips.
you saw the way a wide shiteating smile tugged her lips as she reached her arm aceoss the table to pass you the traditional tortilla warmer for you to make tacos out of the asada.
you thought Ellie pretended to not hear atleast, as you began to bite into your taco; Ellie leaned into your ear.
“we’re gonna make sure everybody knows you’re mine—as i’ve been yours since that night, mama.”
dolls-taglist: ̗̀➛ @snowy-vee @elliesleftflap @tphmnv @starrkissezz @we-loveebony @lavenderhazelsworld @marsworlddd @kissthedewdrops @elliewilliamsgirl3 @graviewaviee @gato-chino @bunnyrose01 @bready101 @elliesgf1244 @deliriousrn @cosmopolitanaut @yumimak @elliewilliamgfooc @evangelinexo @yondaimekazzy @moonyvs4 @tearouthearts @ride4els @luzthenarnian
a/n: i am indeed the mexican woman ellie is talking about that used to date joel 💖💓💞 matter of fact he in my bed rn !!! also i didnt add lyrics because i feel like the scene was too short ( might add them later still thinking)
in all seriousness though, thank you so much for the patience cus its basically EXAMS MONTH for my ass 😭 yall are amazing and @openupforme for keeping me going😽
#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams#the last of us#the last of us fandom#ellie the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams series#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams x you#ellie williams tlou#the last of us fanfiction#the last of us ellie#ellie williams the last of us#ellie tlou smut#tlou fanfiction#GATÚ🌺
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we need you
Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader
summary: Afraid of failing the two of the people he cares about more than anything, Joel decides you and Ellie are better off without him.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. SET IN JACKSON. takes place during Kin. arguing, angst. helpful to know reader was not present when Joel and Tommy talked in the garage. NO mentions of age, reader has no physical description.
word count: 1.6k
a/n: welllllp i don't know about you guys, but i am DEAD inside after tonight so to cope i am going to write a little drabble. already put it in the warning/tags section, but once again, just to be on the safe side of things: potential spoilers, proceed with caution if you do not want the newest episode spoiled!
“Just what in the motherfucking hell was that, Joel?” You nearly growled, bursting through the door of the bedroom that he’d chosen to occupy for the night. Having heard the way he’d spoken to Ellie—not to mention, all that he had said to her even after her heartbreaking confession to him, her unspoken cry for him not to abandon her, all you could see in your mind was the color red. Sure, you and Joel had been through your fair share of bullshit over the years, disagreements that caused friction between the two of you weren’t all that uncommon seeing as the two of you shared similar personality traits to each other, stubbornness being one of them. But you could not, for the life of you, remember an occasion where you’d been this angry with him, this fucking livid. As you watched him sink down onto the bed without a word, your hands curled into fists at your sides. You knew it would only make matters worse, losing your temper, but you weren’t all too sure that you could contain it this time around.
The blood in your veins was bubbling, boiling hot underneath your skin.
“Are you going to fucking answer me or what?” You prompted, a cool edge to your tone despite the heat radiating throughout your body. “You’re really trying to hand her off to Tommy?”
Joel sighed, shaking his head. “You weren’t supposed to find out like this.”
“Find what out, Joel? That you went off and made a decision, and a really fucking dumb one at that, without even talking to me about it first?” You crossed your arms over your chest, glaring at him. Despite how incredibly furious you were, the sadness was heavy inside of your chest. Tt was as if Joel had forgotten the fact that for the last few months, Ellie had been under your care too, and you had every right to be a part of any decision that he made regarding her and her well-being. It hurt you to your very core that he’d done this without talking to you first, and it hurt you even deeper to know that Ellie had known about this and she’d kept it all to herself all evening.
She’d come home from the movies and when you offered her dinner, she refused to eat and stomped upstairs, locking herself in the bedroom. You’d chalked it up to nothing more than a typical teenaged girl simply having a mood swing. After all, it hadn’t exactly been the best day for Ellie. She’d arrived in Jackson and the first thing she noticed was how everyone in the colony looked at her, especially the children. She was different. She didn’t fit in, she stuck out like a sore thumb and you knew that had to have been hard for her. Not wanting to push her, you’d figured that she would come out of the room eventually and talk you about it when she was good and ready. But now that you knew the real reason why she had come home so upset, you couldn’t help but to feel guilty.
For hours, Ellie had been upstairs in that room knowing that Joel planned on dumping her on Tommy and you didn’t have the slightest fucking clue about what was going on until you’d overheard Joel and Ellie’s shouting match just moments ago.
“Joel.” You said his name in a tone neither of you recognized.
Low, venomous, borderline dangerous.
You were like a ticking bomb, seconds away from going off.
Joel narrowed his eyes at you. “She’s better off with Tommy, alright? And we both fuckin’ know that,” he said. “It’s the best thing to do for her. I’m doin’ it because I know damn good and well that if she stays with me, all I’m gonna do is have her fall into the wrong fuckin’ hands or killed.”
“You’re wrong!” You countered, dropping your arms away from your chest and back down to your sides. “Joel, don’t you dare fucking do this. Ellie doesn’t want Tommy, she wants you. She all but fucking said it right to your face just a minute ago!” You cried, pointing a finger towards the door of the room as if pointing to Ellie herself. “She admitted to you that she wouldn’t feel safe with anyone else, Joel. So don’t you fucking do this to her.”
He gripped the edge of the bed, his knuckles going ghost white. “She’ll be better off with Tommy,” he repeated himself. He paused for a brief moment, just long enough to avert his tortured gaze from yours as he said, “And so would you.”
Your mouth parted slightly in shock. “Fucking excuse me?”
“I can’t keep her safe. Hell, I can barely keep you safe! How many fuckin’ times have I almost lost you? ‘Cause I don’t move fast enough? ‘Cause I’ve made the wrong decisions? ‘Cause I’ve asked you to do somethin’ for me and turns out that I unknowingly sent you into the fuckin’ lion’s den?” He inhaled a sharp breath, and you could hear his voice breaking with each and every word that fell from his lips. “I’ve almost cost you your life how many fuckin’ times now?”
“Joel—”
“Tess died ‘cause of me.” He saw you open your mouth to protest and he quickly added, “You can sit there and tell me over and over that it wasn’t my fault ‘til you’re blue in the face, but let’s just fuckin’ be honest and tell it how it is, alright? I couldn’t get to her quick enough and now she’s dead. I won’t let you meet the same fate.” Joel reached up, raking a hand tiredly through his hair, mentally bracing himself for your reaction to what he was about to say next. “I think you should go with Tommy and get Ellie to where she needs to be. After that, you should—you should think about stayin’ here with him in Jackson. I probably don’t belong here, but you do.”
You let out a small, shaky breath of air.
“Who the hell are you to make that kind of decision for me?” You asked, willing yourself to keep yourself from crumbling into tears. “I’m sorry Joel, but you can’t make that kind of a choice for me. And do you want to know what else?” You didn’t even wait for him to respond. “You can’t make it for Ellie, either.”
“She’s fuckin’ fourteen years old—”
You took a step forward as you challenged him. “Do you really think that girl isn’t smart enough to know deep down inside what’s best for her? Tell me, do you really think that Ellie pulled everything she said out of her ass? Do you honestly think that she could ever trust Tommy the way that she trusts you?” You felt a warm tear slide down your cheek and quickly wiped it away before he could see it. “Ellie is young, but she’s not a baby, Joel. I get that sometimes we need to guide her through shit, but let’s be real. She is old enough to make decisions for herself. Maybe not all of them, but the decision that you’re trying to make for her right here, right now—it isn’t yours to make.” Another tear made its way down the side of your face as you whispered, “And the one you’re trying to make for me isn’t either.”
Joel hung his head, seemingly defeated. “Why can’t you see it’s for the best? Why are you makin’ this so hard?”
Willing your trembling legs to move, you slowly walked over to him and sank to your knees in front of him; although you tried to meet his eyes, he refused. “You care about Ellie. I know it, I can see it and I can feel it. For as much shit as you give her all the time, I know that she’s become so important to you.”
“‘Course she is,” he mumbled. “You’re both important to me.”
You reached for his hands, pulling them forward onto his lap. You placed your own hands on top of his, lacing your fingers together. “Then don’t fucking do this to us, Joel. Please. I’m already down on my knees and I will fucking beg and plead if that’s what it’s going to take.” You crouched down a little further, enough so that you could look up into his dark brown eyes. “Ellie wants to be with you, Joel. And I do too.”
Joel’s gaze glistened with tears that he tried, but failed, to keep from falling in front of you. “I’ll fail you, just like I’ve fuckin’ failed everybody else.”
“Joel, please listen to me. Hear what I am saying, for the love of Christ. We have come so far,” You said, firmly squeezing his hands in yours as if somehow that would snap him out of it. “Whether you choose to believe or not, we’ve only come this far because of you. You have done so much for us. It’s why we trust you, why we feel safe with you. Me and Ellie, we belong with you, Joel—not with Tommy, not with anyone else. We need you, okay? We fucking need you. Do you understand me, Joel?”
Joel exhaled the breath he’d been holding shakily, leaning down to be closer to you. Closing his eyes, he rested his forehead against yours as he tried to even out his breathing.
Rubbing the back of his hands with your thumbs in soothing circles, you lifted your head and lightly pressed your lips against his forehead.
“We’re going to finish what we started,” You murmured quietly against his skin, feeling a slight shudder rack his body as a single whimper escaped him. You squeezed his hands again. “Together, Joel.”
#joel miller x you#joel miller#joel miller imagine#joel miller x reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller x f!reader#tlou fanfiction#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller pedro pascal
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Too Much
alt.: How to Break a Defiant Whumpee 101, cws in tags!
When the lock clicks and the door opens once again, the foreboding light cascades down in the form of a person's shadow onto him and he cannot hold in a moan of distress.
He jerks his hands down against the cold floor in helpless, terrified frustration. His blood trickles from under the thick cable wire tying his wrists tightly together, collecting in a puddle with the rest of his spilled life force on the floor. Those cuts barely had time to close over, now torn open again. It cannot have been more than a couple hours since the last visit; what had he done to incur this unbearable punishment today? Who did he piss off this bad?
He listens to the familiar, heavy footsteps nearing him, hoping desperately that they aren't here for him. Unfortunately, those steel-toed boots enter his vision and do not leave, slowing to a stop right in front of his cell, peeking through the bars curiously. He wishes that just once, they would walk right past him; that he would be ignored and left alone. Alas, today has not been the luckiest.
"Oh, just look at you. Always such a sight for sore eyes."
"F-Fuck off."
Leaning up against the cell door, they trail their eyes along every inch of his skin. Of all his captors, this one might just be the worst, if only for their creepy fucking mannerisms. It's hard to forget about those intense, dark eyes and that impossibly smooth, gross voice that makes his skin crawl and keeps him company even in his nightmares. Among all the other things he was hoping for just a moment ago, not having to see them today was quite high up on his list.
They click their tongue. — "You still have your tongue then. Could've fooled me. You look awful."
Their grin made the insult sound more like a twisted compliment. He forces out another weak reply. — "Wow. Thanks."
They pause, tapping their index finger against one metal bar. They are just standing there, staring at him. Their expression is infuriatingly pleasant.
He fucking hates this. Why couldn't they just leave him alone today? Why does he have to be looking up at this terrifying motherfucker from the coldest, most uncomfortable corner of his cell, already exhausted, beaten halfway to death, and be forced to go through yet another round of pain? This just isn't fair.
They take a deep, content sigh, seemingly done with their sightseeing. — "Right."
They back up to stretch, then fit the key into the cell door, promptly sliding inside once it's open. His foreseeable future has swiftly become his near future, and he is anything but ready for it to become his present.
"W-Wait, wait, don't come in, you can't be ser— "
"How could I not when you look so lonely, cuddled up to the wall all by yourself?" — they sing, watching him struggle to push himself further into the corner he was left in by the one before them. From this close, it's even more apparent how rough he had it lately.
If the numerous black-purple pools of blood under his skin weren't enough, the fresh pool by his hand and the splatter of red across the walls would make it more than obvious. Everywhere they look they find another cut, another bruise, another mark and slash and burn. The ever present rings around his wrists are deeper, and now a new one resides around his throat like a collar. His eyes are dark and crimson, looking at them like he might just burst into tears.
He pushes his back into the wall with a cry. A new desperation has morphed his voice into something truly delicious. — "Just, leave, leave me alone!"
They smile innocently. — "Oh, should I? I'll consider it."
"No, stop, please — !" — his throat rasps and breaks his words, but that is nothing new. What is new, however, is the begging. This one has to be forced to beg usually, and now here he is, already close to sobbing for them to just let him be before they could even set a hand on him.
With something between a groan and a whimper, he twists his body to be hidden, curling up to the side and squeezing his eyes shut as he cowers, shaking, shielding his face with bound hands before they could even reach him. He looks utterly pathetic, and that melts their heart — but then they notice something truly surprising, something deviously intriguing.
"Don't tell me... Baby, are you crying? Already?" — They do not even try to hide the grin in their voice as they kneel in front of him. He only curls up tighter, sniffling. — "Now you're starting to worry me. This is very unlike you. I expect insults and swearing, not weeping."
He doesn't respond with anything but a huff of air. They try to peer behind those twitching fingers — a couple of them are definitely broken — but their curiosity isn't sated. The thought of finally having broken him crosses their mind. — "What happened?"
Their question goes unanswered. This guessing game is already starting to irritate them.
They take a light hold of one of those fractured fingers, leering; only a threat for now. — "You know I prefer screams to silence."
"Don't," — he half-wheezes.
"Talk to me then. What's troubling you, sweetheart?" — they cut him off entirely, cooing like they aren't the very reason he's like this.
"I'm... I'm scared."
"I can tell."
"I just — please, I-I just —"
They say nothing. He swallows dryly.
"I just don't want to be hurt again," — he whispers miserably, — "I can't, again, I can't — "
They still don't say anything. They still hold onto that damn finger. He almost wishes they would just get on with the torture instead of whatever this is.
"What, what do you want from me? Just fucking leave! Please!" — he yells, pleads, loses his mind a little more. — "Are you blind? Do you seriously want me to explain to you why I'm, why I'm having a-, a fucking meltdown?"
"I've barely had a, a single minute to myself today where I didn't have to en-entertain any of you pricks, and when I think it's finally over, when, when I get just a second, a m-, a moment to breathe," — he takes a strained couple inhales, almost hyperventilating before harshly gulping down his anxiety again, fighting sobs, — "y-you fucking show up. Like you always do. And, and now I'm here, yet again, left on the floor tired and, and hurt and bleeding — and you're, you're — it always g—, it never gets better. It never f-fffucking stops."
Nothing more is said for a while. They just watch him cry in his little corner coated in fresh blood, breaking apart in front of them. This is an incredible, rare sight. An important moment. They see a precious opportunity and they simply cannot resist seizing it.
They let go of his hand, gently laying their palm on his head instead. The gasp and the flinch are wonderfully unexpected, yet so beautiful to see. — "How many of us came today?" — they inquire softly, almost genuine.
His fragile throat lets out the most raw, wretched sounds they have ever heard him make. — "Y-You were the only one who hasn't. Eh-everyone and their mother came to visit me. I was really fucking hoping you wouldn't."
Ah. The others all took turns today, huh. They did a fine job at whittling him down. They don't even know how all of them managed to get their round in in such a short period of time.
"All five of us?"
"Yeah," — he mumbles. He's furiously wiping at his eyes, starting to lose all hope of getting any rest now that they are this close, and clearly not leaving any time soon. He hoped this embarrassing outbreak would at least deter them somehow, but none of his hopes today came true. They aren't exactly a bleeding heart who would change their mind about torturing him just because he's a little sad. If anything, he thinks, being this pathetic might have just spurred them on. — "But it doesn't, doesn't matter, does it? You sadistic freaks don't care about anything but, but beating the shit out of me any chance you get. I don't know why I thought that you of all people would understand."
This is perfect.
They lean in close. — "Me of all people? What's that supposed to mean? Am I special?"
"Especially annoying." — Now that's more like him. Retorts and insults flying out of his mouth like bullets. They really wish they could have him confess that he finds them the most intimidating out of everyone, that the ‘annoyance’, as he put it, comes from the fact that his backtalk doesn't have any effect on them, and that they know him on a deeper level than any of the others and that scares him more than anything — but they recognise when the moment allows for a play like that. He's already building up his walls again; they can't let this moment slip through their fingers.
"Mmm. Well, I have a proposal for you." — They dig their fingers under his great mess of locks, not unkind. — "Look at me."
"That's not a proposal."
"I'll tell you once you look at me."
"No."
They sink their hand in deeper, twisting into his hair like the claws of a beast. — "Come on. Don't you want to hear it?"
He only lifts his hands higher to hide behind, now muffling his tone. — "I know that, th-that you only want to see me cry."
They smile. — "Yes. And I know you want to avoid more pain."
This thinly veiled threat does two things: it pisses him off, and it brings back that foolish hope that they will take mercy on him if he behaves as they like.
Just one more push. A soft, light order. — "Look at me, baby."
Ordinarily, this would never work. He might even laugh in their face or spit at them for asking, especially so sweetly. This time, however, he is just a lonely, sad little guy in a cell, desperate for sweetness. They wait patiently. He shudders uncomfortably, snivelling.
Silently, with a deadly glare, he finally looks at them.
His eyes are red, puffy, and so, so tired. His lips are bitten bloody, cracked, pouting. The scar over his right cheek has been reopened, enlarged to run down the side of his neck. A gorgeous purple bruise has nestled under his left eye, running like paint in water across his skin. His tears drew clean streaks along his face, sliding down the length of his neck. It's beautiful, mesmerising. They are mesmerised for a little too long, though.
"I hate you so fucking much, you're so gross," — he hisses, done watching their eyes rake over him like an object while having the most adoring, fond smile doing so. It always sends a shiver down his spine when they do this, and having them be so close just makes it even more unbearable. He can clearly see their eyes refocus and return to make eye contact at his remark and it makes him nauseous.
It's fascinating how little bite his voice holds now, with the tears still flowing freely and his throat closed up. So many thoughts of torment run through their mind, images of taking advantage of this weakened state he is in and breaking him until there is nothing left, until he is like this all the time; crying and pitiful and obedient and lovely. None of that makes it to the surface.
"My proposal is this;" — they say instead, — "we could go on with what I had planned for today. This option includes this high voltage shock collar I brought with me."
As they turn to get the collar he assumes they must be bluffing, but horrifyingly enough, they turn back with a thick, black loop of leather with a box attached to it and a remote in their other hand, grinning excitedly. He remains silent in shock.
"Or," — they say after a pause to let him simmer in anticipation, setting their toy to the side, — "we could forget about that for now, and let you rest instead. How does that sound?"
He can barely believe his ears. They actually care? This is a trick, it must be.
"You're lying." — His splotchy face must have betrayed his bewilderment, because they murmur a chuckle before they respond.
"I am not. I can tell you are in a lot of pain."
They take a gamble as they take his head into their hand gingerly, turning him towards them by one shoulder and one cheek carefully, fully expecting him to struggle. There is resistance, as always, but quieter, just a small weight put behind pulling them forward which might as well just be his tired body refusing to cooperate. He says nothing. His lip wobbles. His expression is less cutting than usual, the edge replaced by worn flesh and agony.
They make an effort to remove all malice from their eyes, looking at him with sympathy and love instead. They give him exactly what he has been craving for the weeks he has been trapped here. Someone who can tell him they know he has been trying his best.
They look right into his eyes empathically, and sadly sigh; — "You're just tired, aren't you?"
Those are the magic words to open the gates to his true anguish. Something about this awfully simple, assuring sentence whispered so knowingly — it breaks something in him, and his eyes fill with fresh tears, and he cannot help the sobs bubbling to the surface. Because it is that simple, isn't it? He is so, so damn tired. All he wants is some rest. The assurance that someone sees him struggling, and understands how badly he hurts, and how little he really asks for. Coming from his torturer, it should not feel so liberating. But he is far past rationalism, his want for a single kind gesture has long become a burning need he would do anything for in this moment.
He may regret it later, but for now he leans into their hand as he lets every sob he ever swallowed down free, letting them see how broken he truly is already. From under all that grit and animosity comes pure childlike, innocent suffering, so potent he doesn't know what to do with it besides letting it envelop him. Just the right opportunity and a couple pokes, and he has crumbled under all this weight.
They lead him closer, pulling him out of his defensive position against the wall slowly to embrace him. He is all but powerless to stop his fragile form from moulding under their touch, gasping wretchedly in their arms. He is shivering like a leaf. It's intoxicating.
There they remain until his sobs weaken, and his exhausted body slumps against them like dead weight. Somewhere along the line they had let themself slide down to the ground, inviting him to lie on something soft for the first time in forever, even if it is only their own body. The floor isn't exactly clean — it's quite disgusting in fact — but it is well worth it to have this ball of resentment tamed for even a small bit, even if they have to lie on filth for it. This one instance of kindness will have lasting effects on their relationship and him as a person, even if he doesn't realise it, or even if he does. He will find it hard to look at them the same way, and will find it difficult to keep up his defiance in front of them when he knows they have seen him truly at his wits end.
He may let them touch him more often without a word. He may find it easier to do as they say without fighting. He may grow more attached to them through this, having a closer connection to them than to any of the others. He may even ask them again, once the time comes, to have mercy on him again, and they will give it to him, letting him fall deeper and deeper. He will have to swallow his pride, and he will only swallow it for them. This small moment will be crucial in the future. Maybe they could capitalise just a little more on this by telling the others they can't see him for a day. They will visit him tomorrow and ease his mind again, let him heal, see how he acts after this humiliating exchange.
The unconscious man in their arms will learn to be theirs with time; he has already made so much progress. This one is theirs, just as soon as it becomes too much to bear again.
...
He didn't even yell at them for calling him baby.
~
Taglist: @morning-star-whump
Masterlist | Ko-Fi
#whump#creepy whumper#my writing#whump writing#intimate whumper#fear#sadistic whumper#captivity whump#defiant whumpee#multiple whumpers#referenced torture#manipulation#blood#restrained#crying#this is pretty tame#but very satisfying
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Eddie's Proposal
Prompt Day 28 – Proposal | Rating: T | CW: None | Tags: Eddie and Chrissy are besties, pre-steddie, buckingham, no Upside Down AU | WC: 877
For the @steddieholidaydrabbles
💘💅💘💅💘
“I have a proposal for you,” Eddie says.
Chrissy looks up from filing her nails, splayed across his bed with head and hands hanging off the edge, “I thought we established you don’t swing that way, babe.”
Folding his legs under him, Eddie sits cross-legged on the navy carpet by her side. David Bowie plays softly in the background because he’s not a barbarian and he’d do anything for this girl; plus, Steve loves Dancing in the Street and who is Eddie to not develop an appreciation in the gorgeous face of all that enthusiasm?
He tuts at her, “But you do about the other half of the time, so I have a proposal for you.”
“Eddie, dear, darling of my heart, you should have brought a ring. Maybe a big cheesy placard with hearts painted all over it.” She focuses on a particularly rough edge, squinting at it. “Diamond princess cut, please and thank you, sweetheart.”
Eddie scoffs even as he rubs his sweaty palms over his knees. The album fades into Cat People and Bowie roars that he’s been putting out fire with gasoline. He wonders if the lyrics are why he feels so hot suddenly. “No, not for me. For Steve.”
Chrissy’s smile is immediate and bright, “Thank God. Yes, do it. Ask him out, for sure.” Her long blonde hair shakes around her face as she laughs, a beautiful tinkling sound that spears through his heart. Eddie grips his knee; this is what he wants, he reminds himself.
“I think you’ll have to do it, he’s too shy,” Eddie says around the copper in his mouth.
Chrissy snorts, shooting him a wry look, “Steve Harrington? Shy? He struts around in barely there short shorts whenever we come over for his pool. The man doesn’t have a shy bone in his body.”
“There’s a bone somewhere,” Eddie mutters to himself, thinking of the heart palpitations he’s suffered from an affectionate, touchy-feely Steve by the poolside. Louder he says, “But you know it’s different for emotional stuff. He’s been hurt before and I think he’s gun shy.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t track,” she rebuts, frowning as she accidentally chips a piece of baby blue polish off. “He’s been very clear that he wants to move on. And with who.”
Eddie feels the blood drain from his face, dropping below the heart that has fallen out of his chest with a splat. “He’s asked you out already.” As he watches Chrissy’s face move through a series of complicated expressions, Eddie tells his heart to get itself under control: this is good, this was the goal all along.
“Eddie,” Chrissy begins, throwing aside her file to prop herself above him on her elbows, he tilts his head up to meet her suspicious gaze. “Are you asking me to date Steve? Not someone else?”
“Definitely not someone else,” Eddie answers quickly. “He should have the best and you’re the best, you two would be… the best together,” he finishes lamely albeit sincerely.
Eddie immediately knows that his crush on Steve has been ill-hidden when her wide blue eyes fill with pity. What he doesn’t expect is for amusement to swiftly replace it. “You’re an idiot,” she says affectionately.
Eddie straightens, he doesn’t expect her to cede ground to Steve because well, look at the gorgeous, sweet fucker, but she doesn’t need to rub his nose in it. “I know,” he sighs, “And I shouldn’t have let myself develop feelings for him, but at the very least I would be happy if he were happy.”
He moves up, kneeling like a knight under his queen, taking her hand in earnest, “You two are the best people in my life, and I just know you’d be good for each other.”
“Eddie…” She moves her free hand up to his head and instead of the gentle stroke he had expected she takes a chunk of his hair and yanks it, hard. “Ow, motherfucker!” He jerks back, staring at her incredulously.
“Eddie Munson, who does Steve spend all his time with?” She demands exasperatedly.
“Me,” he shakes his sore head, “That’s how I know you two would fit.”
“Yeah, well, Robin might knee-cap you for suggesting it.”
“Robin? You and…” Eddie tilts his head, the only way he can keep the world in focus as it tips over. “Yes, me and Robs,” Chrissy rolls her eyes, “And I think she would knee-cap me if I tried to hit on Steve when he clearly wants you.”
The world is still tilting, he thinks as he wordlessly points to himself. Chrissy nods, smirking. “Apparently, she’s not that far off of doing the same to Steve, if only to put him out of his misery.”
“Because he wants… me?” Eddie whispers because reverent things should be treated delicately. Chrissy patiently nods, allowing him time to reconcile the hope ballooning inside him against the sudden drumming of impatience.
Eddie drops her hand, scrambling up. “Sorry princess, I have to see a man about a proposal,” he calls out as he runs out of the room.
Chrissy shakes her head, grabbing her file and flopping back onto the pillows on his bed. “I’m surrounded by idiots,” she mutters, thinking about how Robin’s going to lose it when she tells her about this later.
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jj making you put sunscreen on when you’re spending the day on the beach mostly because he just wants an excuse to rub you down 😉
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🐳
you’re warm and sleepy, laying on your front dozing in and out, listening to the gentle waves and distant laughter of the pogues splashing in the water. you were so beyond relaxed that it made you jump when you suddenly felt jj’s cold wet hands press to your back, straddling the backs of your legs.
you let out a petulant and shrill whine as you try and push yourself up, cold sea water dripping all over you unpleasantly and the blonde simply laughs, pushing you back down with unmatched strength. something in you eases up a little at his manhandling, warming your stomach as he speaks.
“hey, hey— i come in peace. gotta make sure you don’t burn right?” a foreign liquid drizzles onto your back before his hands get to work, rubbing circles on your glowing skin.
“s’cold.” you rasp, still moody from being forced out of your relaxed state.
“yadayadayada, ‘think what you mean to say is ‘thank you, jj’” he combats, shuffling a little lower as he hands slide down to cup your ass cheeks, jiggling them a little in his palms. “and thank you mother nature.” he adds quietly in awe.
“jayj.” you complain and he chuckles.
“i know, i know— listen, i just gotta make sure to get your ass too— these puppies will burn like a motherfucker n’next thing y’know, you’re too sore to sit down.”
once he’s done greedily rubbing the sunscreen along your ass his hands move back up, slotting down beneath you to pull you up a little, slimy hands massaging your tits.
“oh my god.” you breathe out, half mad at his fondling and half aroused.
“alright, okay, i admit that was just pure greed.” he sits back, still straddling your body. “can you blame me though? shit.” his eyes trail down to your ass once more, and you look over your shoulder at him. “alright, alright— i’m off.” he climbs off you with a winning grin.
🫧𓇼𓏲*ੈ✩‧₊˚🐳
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do re mi, abc – steve harrington
this entire blog is 18+. minors dni. shoo.
this entire post is nsfw. no minors. none. i don't want to see you here. go read something else, shoo!
the title should (hopefully) make it a bit more obvious. nothing gets the girlies going like a nsfw alphabet!! these are all my hot takes, so if you don't like 'em, i can't hear you (:
a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
steve harrington is an angel. an affectionate motherfucker. after sex before sex and during sex, he's full of love and he's nothing but a sweetheart. asks you if you need a snack, water, cleans you up– but not before holding you against his chest for a solid 10+ minutes. shit, there have been times you guys take a little nap together all curled up. he'll take the best care of you, though; running you a bath if you're sore afterwards and throwing towels into the dryer so they're warm and fluffy for you, ordering food if you're too hungry for a snack but too tired to cook, and making sure the bed is tidied and made so you can lounge together and be little home bodies, which is something he only recently realized he adores with you.
b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
as much as people know him as steve "the hair" harrington, he's a big fan of his hands. not just because he likes them, but he knows you like them. the way you'll stare when he's handing you a coffee, when he's had to manipulate that bat of his, the way you fluster when he's setting his hand on your thigh while he drives. the biggest and his most favorite thing about his hands, though, is how useful they are in regards to you. how would he be able to hold your hands if he didn't have any? how would he bring you flowers, coffees, treats, things that remind you of him? how would he lift you up to fuck you in the shower?
when it comes to you, as much as he wants to act like he's just some man easily swayed by something like your boobs– not that he's not, he could stare at them for days, anytime you guys are about to argue and he sees them it just turns into sex instead– his favorite part of you is your neck. it should be obvious, really with how he'll give it hickies for days, he'll mash his face into the crook of your neck to provide you both comfort, the way he treats it so tenderly when you ask him so nicely to wrap his hand around it. it's the home of your vocal chords, and there's no sound he loves more than the sound of your voice, so he worships the place it originates from, obviously!
c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
in the beginning of your relationship, steve tries to stay normal about this. he'll keep it safe, wrap it up and toss away the condom, an occasional load on your tongue if you've got your lips wrapped around him and won't let go, the odd time or two he missed you so dearly that the first kiss back had him cumming in his pants.
now, later in your relationship and later into his development from carefree teen to tired babysitter and grown man, that greatly changes. he's embarrassed at first, to tell you that he doesn't see himself with anyone other than you. getting over that? it's a slippery slope to raw-dogging it. it's also at this time the two of you get far more comfortable; he loves when you soak his face, arm, pelvis, chest the first time he let you grind against his jungle of curls. he also loves to do the same to you, always promising and following through to clean you up after, whether it's on your thighs, stomach, just ontop of your folds, your chest, back. the first time he doesn't manage to pull out in time, though?
let's just say steve discovers something new about himself. he always knew he wanted to be a dad, as many little harringtons as you'd allow him. he never thought you using that against him as dirty talk would have him going round after round in the hopes that maybe, oh maybe, it would take.
d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
steve is very open about many things. you adore his lack of filter from his very obvious puppydog nature, and he never quite understands why people would hide these kinds of things. one thing he will take to the grave, however, is he knows where all your pairs of panties are going. the black lace ones you just bought that seem to have vanished in the washing machine? you'd never suspect your sweet stevie to be the culprit, you'd just assume he was being polite and the sweetest boy, offering to do the laundry this week.
you know full well it's him, it's why you've gone from buying expensive pairs of nice underwear to getting slightly cheaper, so that when your stevie slips it off of you and it's never seen again, you're only down 10-15 dollars instead of 40.
he can't help it, he excuses it as nothing but unwaivering love for you. how much and how greatly he feels about you effects him all the time, even leaving him to jack off holding your pretty little panties against his cock as he strokes it when you haven't been around much.
e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
steve harrington is well-experienced in hook-up culture. he can fuck and chuck like a professional athlete. staying long enough that domesticity is sexy, though? a whole new ball-game for him. the longest relationship he's had was with nancy, and we all know how that ended. he's not used to being at a point in a relationship where he can say that, yes, the idea of fucking a kid into you is so unbelievably hot. give him time, give him safety, and make sure steve feels loved and appreciated.
f = favorite position (this goes without saying)
steven harrington, the man that you are. he adores you, wants nothing more than to look you in the eyes, watch your face contort whenever he does something new or fucks you a little deeper. anything with you two looking each other in the eyes is his favorite, missionary the standard, a cowgirl here and now to mix things up. his absolute favorite, though? it has to be those times when your legs go from around his waist to your legs going over his shoulders, calves on either side of his head, caged in underneath him.
you'd called it something weird, a mating press or something along the likes, and he doesn't care to know the name. all that matters is he swears to hell, heaven, and beyond that he can watch himself bulge in that pleasant little expanse of skin that shields your insides, can feel the gummy kiss of your cervix against his tip, and god the sight of you falling apart when he gets you both oriented like this.
g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
while steve is a mostly silly guy, he tries to keep things serious in the bedroom. sure, he'll say something a little teasing that'll make you smile and giggle, maybe something that even earns a full-on laugh that he normally utilizes to press his girth inside of you. but overall? he's stone-cold serious. we've seen how intimate this man is (which i'll touch more on later), so keeping the vibe all about how much he loves and cares about you, adores making you feel good– that's the goal!
there have been times though, don't get me wrong, where there are goofs that basically make the whole rest of the moment a gigglefest. the time you guys broke your bed? hilarious! steve felt a mixture of guilt and overwhelming pride knowing he– literally– rocked your world so well he broke your bed, so he offered to foot the bill for a new bed, even helping set it up and test it out. the time he nearly dropped you in the shower? not as funny when it happened, but afterwards you still refuse to let him lift you against the tile.
h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
this is another demonstration of steve's growth as a person. closer to his king steve days– when he was still pretty active on the swim team and all, mind you– he was pretty close to completely shaven. sure, he kept it just neat and trimmed down below the belt with a thin little happy trail, but that's it.
now when it comes to his starcourt days, as he let his chest hair start to grow out, he did the same all the way down. it got a little ridiculous at one point– he was mortified when you got a pube in your throat and nearly threw up because it just wouldn't dislodge itself– but that was enough for him to know you love that steve prefers leaning closer to natural.
nowadays? that man has a happy trail to drive you crazy, he keeps it as neat and tidy as he can near his dick without cutting himself but it's still got something there. he heard someone say it was a sign of masculinity somewhere, never really could get back to the entire bare-naked routine.
i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
okay. this is the fun part. we all know steve is a hand-holder during sex, that he's got chronic cling problems, and that he's nothing but a golden retriever in a human form. but it's so much worse because you return it, actively seeking him out whenever. hell, the first time you told him you loved him, he was balls deep! it's no wonder sex gets him all mushy with you; every time he sees that blissed-out look on his face, he's reminded of the fact that, yes, there are women out there who love him, and you're the one who loves him the most!
j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)
steve doesn't have the highest drive. i know, that's like sacrilege to say, but he really isn't he likes the touch of someone else. sure, if you left him right and riled before you're going off to work he'll quicky rub one out thinking about just how much he's gonna return the favour later after his own shift. but mainly? he prefers to get horny, seek you out, and rock your world for some time, then just get right back to life as if nothing happened.
now. as mentioned in the dirty secret section, he's a little panty thief. consider this the only non-emergent exception to steve's iron-will. if he's got a pair of your panties handy, he'll need enough time to basically wear those out. he'll be exhausted and not very good at hiding what he's been doing– a big reason for why he's not a big fan of giving himself a tug– and the only shred of decency he has is the fact that he knows to keep his little tools hidden.
k = kink (one or more of their kinks)
praise kink. this should be a given, the man will whimper so pretty for you if you tell him just how good he's doing at making sure you won't be able to walk at work tomorrow.
free-use. it takes a long time to drag this out of him, and it also happens entirely accidentally. you were just trying to wake him up on his birthday with some breakfast-and-head (he still hates that you won't just be normal and stick to breakfast in bed, but the name always has a little smile on his face), but god the way he moaned for you because you were just going for him, unprompted. needless to say, it started quite the conversation.
hair-pulling. come on. look at that fluffy crown atop his head! give it a tug at those beautiful brown roots, watch him have to stop his thrusts for a minute so he just lose all composure and piston into you until you cry.
breeding kink. there is no good goddamn way in hell you can have sex with this man without him letting loose inside you. if you don't? god, the whimpers that leave that man's lips. "baby, please, did so good for you-" "honey, sweetheart, please, y'killing me here-" "please, i'll clean you out after, just can't stop, you're so good to me"
bondage. this is a post-starcourt development. he's still scared and felt out of control about being tied, beaten, tortured. it was actually recommended to him by a therapist to explore that, to regain control however he can, help himself slowly get over that. so when steve's felt especially out of sorts, you two will set some time aside, plan something out, usually with him in fuzzy cuffs with a safeword in place. it's really the trust that gets him going, but the fact that he has to put his pleasure entirely in your hands and you just run with it, it makes him lose his mind in the best way possible.
l = location (favorite places to do the do)
call him old-fashioned, but he mostly prefers to keep anything going on between you two with clothes off to happen at home, in either his or your bed. that's not to say you two don't have a habit of going at it whenever you both feel like it. you've done it in the back of his beamer, his pool, the shower multiple times, the backroom of scoops ahoy (a one-time venture, you nearly froze the skin on your back off being held up against the walk-in for that long), the backroom of family video (robin can't prove it, but she knows it happened), even a few parties when you were both still in school. the best place in his mind, though? eddie's van. he had no idea why his backseats were soaked, and that was alllll you.
m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
all alone, steve is more focused on romance and intimacy. sure, he gets a stiffy now and again, but he can mostly ignore it if he's not entirely in the mood.
with you, though? the man is a live-wire, a cherry bomb– only a moment's notice away from cracking into flames, burning you with that fiery adoration. you're smiling at him? he's got last night on his mind, when that same smile was what triggered sloppy, messy, yet oh so tender sex. that pretty little sundress you've got on? the flashes of skin have him feeling like a pubescent teen again, all worked up. you being good with the kids? god, he can already picture you down the line, a little harrington in your arms while he makes breakfast, now he's hard and he needs you.
basically, you turn him on in general. it's hard for him to not get all excited when you are around, so tender, perfect.
n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
degradation. steve is a sweetheart, already having more than enough problems with his parents, so please don't give him more. even if it's supposed to be hot– he can understand that lots of people are into that, really, but he can't grasp it for himself– it just makes him all insecure and ruins the time for him. just stay nice and sweet, just for him.
inflicting pain on you. anything above a smack on your ass or– more recently– a hand on your neck is a no. he could never hurt you, seeing you in pain triggers his protective instincts and kills his vibe entirely.
threesome. this one is a bit trickier, a little more of a gray area, but it's still enough to make steve uncomfy. he won't entertain the idea of bringing in another girl– he doesn't need more hands on him other than yours, that's more than enough for him– but he has, sheepishly, thought before about expanding his trust just enough to let a friend in at some point. the closest he'd gotten to accepting this as a reality was when you and him were stoned with robin and eddie, robin had run off to the house phone to call vickie, and eddie had been telling you– who had been so nicely playing with steve's hair and made him so drowsy you assumed he was asleep– that he'd never slept with anyone before. sure, he knew eddie had a reputation of being a freak, but with the growing kinship and the deep trust and understanding he started to feel for the other boy, he genuinely considered asking eddie if he'd want to give it a try with you two. he never got the balls to say it, though, but it still sits in his mind sometimes.
o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
king steve would never consider going between a girl's legs. he believes in the toxic male stigma, that women are just around for a man's pleasure. after nancy, his mind changes slightly, but with the long time apart he changes.
now, though? steve harrington is a munch. he doesn't know if it's just because he loves the reactions he gets out of you– you get so loud and you pull his hair and your legs get hooked over his shoulders and it makes him feel so strong, not to mention he loves when he makes you feel so good you squirt and he gets a physical show of how good he did– or if it's because it's you, but he just adores it. (you know exactly why: steve harrington is a man of unwaivering service. he loves you, and he'll do whatever he can to show you that. plus you also know he just loves the way you taste, so he won't say no if you ask nicely. he's also whined about wanting to taste you before, so you know he actually enjoys it, but won't point it out to embarass him.)
in regards to receiving, he won't say no if you offer, but he's not going to be an asshole and ask/demand you to suck him off. he doesn't mind being woken up with your lips around him, but he won't wake you up to handle his morning wood. he enjoys it, sure, but not enough that it takes precedence over fucking you, so he won't necessarily choose it openly.
p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
harrington is a very versatile man. that being said, he can do either or; he can fuck you like your lives depend on it (he can manage a quickie, or his jealous streak flaring up means he's got to pound you till your mascara's running from your pretty tears in the bathroom of the hideout), or make the sweetest, gentlest love of all time to you (nearly every time the upside-down gets him hurt or in danger, you two take the chance to affirm each other of the unrelenting love shared by the two of you).
q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
while it's entirely possible, steve prefers not to do quickies often. sure, they've happened between the two of you before (see above, also at his work, your work, between picking up and dropping off the party of gremlins), but he prefers getting to take his time with you, slowly work you open and fuck you until you fall apart, then put you back together with all his love and tenderness.
r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
the more steve risks his life trying to save hawkins and protect the kids, the less he cares about considering things 'risky'. fucking you bareback? psh, he nearly died from those bats, it pales in comparison.
that being said, there are certain things he contemplates longer before actually trying it. one big thing is the whole idea of pegging. sure, he's heard some great things about it, even seen a couple decent pornos of it when he sneaks them from work, but the idea still spooks him; he's not sure how it would feel for him, whether he'd like it or not, how you'd react to the idea, etcetera etcetera.
s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
'big boy' harrington isn't necessarily booksmart, but he's keen enough to know himself. he can go 1-2 rounds himself before he gets overstimulated and the aching throb of his cock starts to hurt more than it feels good (another thing he'll think about exploring one day with you, but definitely not soon), so he gets you handled first. if he doesn't have you falling apart 5-6 times when you guys have sex, he's disappointed in himself and convinced he did a poor job. reassure him that yes, he's doing amazing, he needs to take it easy on himself.
t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
he'd never really thought about toys before you came around and introduced him to them. sure, the cuffs are a given (see kinks) and he knows lots of girls your age have vibrators, but when you two settle into something more serious than just a casual fling, he's letting himself warm up to the idea of them being more prevalent. things like you holding that wand vibrator of yours against your clit while he's fucking into you drives him crazy, the one time you held it between his hard cock and his balls when you were giving him head made him see stars; hell, even watching you ride that pink silicone cock had him clawing the walls like an animal!
as soon as he starts getting comfortable with you using them on him, he starts going out of his way to buy things he'd find fun. they start simple enough at first; cheesy bachelorette party gifts like edible underwear, sex dice, blindfolds. eventually though, he gets things like flavoured lubes, sensory balms, gags... he starts going a little wild, to the point where he's been given a monthly budget for these kinds of splurges so he doesn't go too overboard.
he's a curious man who just loves the hell outta you, let him indulge in all the weird things he sees and finds neat ):
u = unfair (how much they like to tease)
steve's a stubborn, impatient man. he can handle teasing only so long; both giving and recieving. it's like a time bomb, a countdown of restraint before he gives in, relenting to whatever carnal desires the two of you will be indulging in.
v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
again, another instance of development; king steve would never be caught dead making noise in the sack. he's of that toxic mindset that he should be silent, only hearing his girl, and that it's just a fuck-and-done thing.
the new and improved steve, though? god. i cannot even begin to explain this without going feral. it starts simple enough; he'll growl, huff, puff, groan here and there. he'll even moan for you if you get him worked up or sensitive enough! later down the line when he realizes you're it for him, he gets a little more lucid. he'll start to whine for you if he's needy, even whimpering so pretty, and you really can't get him to shut up. he can start quiet, but most of the time you two have to usually shut each other up with a liplock, otherwise you will most definitely get caught or a noise complaint.
he's not even ashamed; he knows you love it, so as long as you're not too mean about him being loud, he'll continue to do so unashamed and unabashedly.
w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
steve doesn't need to see you in lingerie. most of it he finds tacky and overboard– sure, there's a few sets you've tried on before that have him gaping at you like a fish out of water, but those instances can be counted on two hands– and it's just more he has to take off of you. he does love you in as little as possible, though; his sweatshirt and panties? he's hard as a rock. a pretty sundress? he's got his hand on your knee and slowly working up. don't get him started on the mini skirts you wear to parties with no panties on underneath, or when you do wear them and take them off during the night to slip into his hand.
x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
steve harrington has a big dick. whether that's long and average width, or average length and girthy i'm not sure, but it's big. you've gotta be stretched open and worked properly, can't just go sticking it in and breaking you, now, can he?
it's also got a nice little upwards curve to it, something that your gag reflex doesn't love, but god does it hit all the right spots inside you so much easier.
we've all seen steve's arms, too, so you just know that he's got some pretty veins to it. not too much, just a few small ones up and down, but one large and pronounced vein on the underside that pulses so prettily when he's worked up. he's got some big, heavy balls too, ones that are extra sensitive, even just little touches have him writhing and gasping for air.
i also like to picture that his dick, much like that mane of hair, is uncut. au naturel, as the french would say.
y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
steve had an average-for-a-teen-boy sex drive back in his king days. now? he's a little more mellowed out. that's a total fucking lie, this man would easily fuck you all day if he could. he's just so full of love and adoration and you wreck him, so it's only fair he does the same to you!
he'll settle with whatever you give him, though, as long as you know he loves you beyond anything else.
z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
this is another generalization: most of the time, he'll stay awake until you fall asleep. if you won't, whether it's because it was a quickie or you have something to do, he'll stay up with you, just being lazier because of all his expended energy.
now, when the exception applies, treasure it. there's nothing sweeter to the eyes than a sleeping steve harrington, conked out after a passionate encounter, hair all mussed up as he snores softly against the pillows, breathing all peaceful and tanned skin littered with hickies from your pretty lips.
#archers rambles#archers thoughts#stranger things#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x reader smut#steve harrington x you#steve harrington headcanon#archer speaks#archers 18+ emporium#18+ mdni#18+ only
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ROSE BLISS 🌹
Post outbreak!Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: Joel comes up with the name of your baby, as he is really enjoying fatherhood again
(this is a sequence of the BLISS series which I said it wasn't a series, but it is really. The previous parts are featured on my MASTERLIST but it could also be read as a one shot)
Warnings: there isn't anything, just fluff, like a lot of fluff, maybe soft!Joel, ooc!character, mom!reader
A/N: I just needed some fluff, I watched TLOU this weekend and I needed Joel to be happy 🥺
1.5k words
The baby Miller's name was chosen by Joel.
He decided to name his daughter Rose Sarah Miller.
It was the beginning of spring, Rosie was a couple of weeks old and you two hadn't settled on a name yet, which didn't even seem so necessary for Joel, as he would spend his days staring at his beautiful baby, always calling her princess, sweetheart, love… anything that comes from the bottom of his heart. He had taken her for one of their afternoon walks, which consisted in Joel proudly holding her into his arms, rocking her softly as he walked around the block or around the backyard, he just loved to carry and hold her at any possible opportunity. "Are you tired, darling? Do you need to shower now? Would you like to rest? I'll handle her" he would tell you with a stupid, lovely grin.
As he walked down the street, he paid attention to one of the neighbors' garden. The flowers were finally blossoming and even if Joel wasn't much of a plant guy, he thought they were pretty. Well, everything was pretty to him now that he was the happiest motherfucker in the world.
He stopped by the different bushes of flowers and cooed at his daughter, talking to her as much as he could, as he hoped she would recognize his voice and would enjoy it.
He told her all about the flowers he saw, the colors, the shapes but the moment he mentioned the roses, she opened her little eyes. Eyes like his and that always brought a new wave of pride into his heart. She whimpered softly and closed them again, nuzzling his chest and calming down.
"Do you like roses?" He cooed, kissing her soft head, an idea creeping up his mind "do you like roses, princess? You certainly smell like one… even better than one… do you wanna be daddy's rose?" He nuzzled her soft skin and earned a cute yawn from her.
Joel's heart melted at her answer. She was her daddy's Rose.
He rushed home, crazy to see you and tell you the news. Well, actually see if you approved the idea, but he had a gut feeling you would, after all he knew you also loved roses and now you had the most beautiful one in the garden.
You had given birth two weeks before and though Joel helped you with absolutely everything concerning the baby, he couldn't help you with how sore your body was and how you still got extremely tired during the day. You had just finished baking a pie, enjoying the energy peak you felt and smiled as he walked in with your daughter in his arms. You thought maybe she could be hungry or in need of a diaper change, but she was peacefully asleep.
Joel however, was even kind of flushed. He didn't know what happened to himself, he wasn't like that, he didn't behave like an excited teenage girl, but ever since his little miracle was born, he couldn't help but just felt hope, excitement, joy at all times. Life was good again because he had a daughter and a future wife… Well, maybe, he hadn't really gotten there yet.
But god, he wanted to make you his wife whenever he looked at you and remembered how much he loved you. How you helped him see he was worth of love, he was worth of you and the happiness you'd given him. He was so thankful to you because you were his everything, his second chance in life, and the way your eyes sparkled when you mentioned the name he thought for your baby, made him think again of making you his wife.
He had his Rose Miller and both him and his beautiful flower needed a Mrs.Miller in life.
Joel's explanation to why he decided to name your daughter Rose was quite funny, you highly doubt a two week old baby would have a say on it, but if your handsome and over the moon boyfriend said so, you could just agree with him. You could barely contain the joy to see how much he loved you and your baby, it was so beautiful, such a heartfelt experience and sometimes, you couldn't help but chuckle at it. You were also in love with your daughter, but Joel… it was something else. You could tell his whole world was that tiny little newborn and for someone who had met him before, the way you did, the things you witnessed him doing in order to protect you and survive, it didn't even seem it was the same guy. He was just different… he was happier. He was still jealous and protective of you and of your baby. He very often stood next to you like a watchdog, always making sure you were assisted, comfortable and okay. And God forbid if anyone wanted to visit you and the baby.
It's not that Joel didn't appreciate visitors, but yeah, he didn't appreciate visitors. He didn't like a lot of people he didn't know or had exchanged a couple of words with invading your house, giving you advice you didn't request and he especially hated when they wanted to hold his daughter.
She was his, and well, yours too, of course. But if she wasn't in her mommy's arms, then she should only be in her daddy's arms.
You tried telling him it was okay, he shouldn't be so territorial over her. But you knew saying that to Joel had the same effect as if you had said that to the walls of the house.
And Rosie spent her days in her daddy's arms. It was just her favorite place in the world, it was where she cried and calmed down, she fussed and fell asleep. That tiny little thing was a puddle of love for her daddy and you couldn't blame her, Joel was an amazing father, he was so caring and she corresponded just the same.
You were quite surprised he was so forward in wanting her to take Sarah's name too, you had actually thought of it multiple times during your pregnancy but didn't bring it up as you weren't sure if he would be okay with it or not.
But you liked it. It suited your sweet Rose and you knew it also brought love and peace to Joel's heart.
You finished cutting your pie in slices, knowing Tommy and Maria would swing by with their little Flora later that night, it would be only fair if you served them some sweet dessert, after all the help the woman provided you and Joel with. They'd been so nice to you, so patient and Maria helped you just as much as you helped her when Flora was born, and you were just thankful to have a friend while you went through that situation. As much as Joel was nothing but amazing with you, he was still a man, and had no idea how things changed for you.
You saw how silent the house was, Joel had returned from his afternoon walk and you both had agreed on naming your baby Rose, so you figured he was probably resting.
You silently went upstairs, not wanting to disturb your baby nor your man, in case they were asleep, but you found Joel wide awake, he lay in bed on his side, watching as Rosie slept peacefully right next to him.
His hands stroked her back so gently as he took in every single feature of your daughter, admiring her and still having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact she was so perfect and his.
You smiled at yourself and quickly joined him in bed, wrapping your arm around his body as you were the big spoon even if Joel was bigger than you.
You stoked his chest and down his belly, as you rested your chin on his shoulder and watched your beautiful girl.
"She's gorgeous… she looks a lot like you" he said in his low voice "and she has a lot of Sarah too" he swallowed, during the whole time you've known Joel and then later on dated him, he only brought up his late daughter a few times. You never pressured him about it.
You took only the information he wanted to give you.
"I bet she was gorgeous… just like our princess is gonna be one day" you said and kissed his neck softly and watched as Joel closed his eyes and groaned in approval.
"She was, and she was smart too, the smartest girl I've ever met, and our Rosie will be like her too, I'm sure of it" he traced his daughter's tiny face with the tip of his finger and smiled tiredly. Joel hadn't been getting a lot of sleep either as the two of you alternated between taking care of Rosie when she woke up at night.
"I love you Joel, and I love our Rose too"
"I love you Y/N, I love our baby and our family and maybe one day I would like to make you my wife…"
_____
A/N: I love Joel and I want him to be happy forever 😭😭😭😭
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x y/n#pedro pascal x you#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal imagine#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fanfic#joel miller imagine#joel miller tlou#tlou fanfiction#tlou show
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Brothers Betrayal
Warnings: non-con, kidnapping, creampie, oral, face fucking, blackmail, abuse, etc
Next
I try to calm my breathing as I pull the Twinkie up in front of Tannyhill, barely killing the engine when I see Rafe emerge from the front door. The hard expression on his face is all the conformation I need. Images of last night play on loop in my head. The sweet words he whispered in my ear as he took my virginity. The way he held and caressed me like I was a treasure. The way I let him take my innocence and finish inside me without a condom. Then I let him fuck me again. By the time we were done, he had to change the sheets because of all the blood and cum then we showered and I let him take me again. I was still so sore I could feel it as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I could still feel him inside me. I craved it. I wanted it. There was too much passion and fire last night for it to have all been a lie. But I realize now that Rafe is a manipulator and I was just a pawn he used to make another move against the Pogues. The pranks have gotten out of hand and now my brother had paid the price.
I throw the door open and jump out. The rage I felt is back as I think about what John B is probably going through right now. Whatever this prank was, it's been taken too far. Kidnapping is too far. I march up the walkway of Tannyhill and up the steps to the white mansion before rearing back and slapping Rafe as hard as I can. At least I try. He catches my drawn wrist in one hand, his other hand wrapping around my throat as he shoves me against the door like I'm nothing more than a rag doll.
"Come back for more, doll? I've been thinking about that sweet pussy all day." Rafe growls, leaning in for a kiss. Like hell. I spit in his face and he laughs, smearing his face against mine.
"You motherfucker. Where is my brother?" I demand, attempting to knee him the way JJ showed me but Rafe is quicker, clamping his knees closed.
"What are you talking about? I was with you all night." Rafe smirks, eyeing my lips like he still wants to kiss me but I snarl at him.
"Topper and Kelc took him. I know they did. They're your goons so where. IS. HE?" I'm started to yell and Rafe looks around, like he's worried someone will see or hear so he shoves the door open and tosses me inside before locking the door behind him. My knees are trembling so badly I can barely hold myself up.
"You used me." I cry, wiping angrily at the tears I didn't realize were falling. My first time was perfect and now it was ruined. "You ruined everything!" Rafe advances on me, leading me deeper into the quiet mansion since his family is still on vacation.
"I told you I would. I told you that you'd hate me and I asked you if you were prepared for your family to hate you when they find out. You said you didn't care. You all but begged me to fuck you. I bet your little panties are wet right now." His words only add fuel to the fire, making me lash out with my fist with a cry of rage but I'm no match for him. Rafe knocks me down, pinning my squirming body to the cool hardwood as I scream profanities at him. I hated that he was right. I hated him for what he's done but my body wanted him. His touch made me weak. My resolve was slipping. I could hardly remember why I'd come here.
I gasp when his hand finds its way between my legs and he rubs the seam of my shorts against my clit. I buck against him, hating the way my body reacts to his touch and the way he's smiling in satisfaction.
"I can feel the heat of my pussy through your shorts." Rafe moans softly, before straightening to remove his belt. My eyes widen in surprise and I panic, struggling with all my might as he lifts up and rolls me over like I weigh nothing and binds my arms together with his belt.
"Where is my brother?! It's not a joke anymore!" I scream, not even fighting anymore as Rafe yanks my shorts and panties down my legs and buries his face between my cheeks, feasting like a man who didn't just spend all night inside me. I clamp my mouth shut, holding back any sounds that might escape as I press my forehead to the cool floor. The sounds of the obscene slurping of my wetness makes my face heat with humiliation.
"Rafe, please." I whisper, my legs shaking as he brings me right on the verge of an orgasm embarrassingly fast before stopping.
"God, you taste good." Rafe groans, lifting up and denying my release. The tears fall again in frustration, my body aching to have what he's withheld. My clit throbs in sync with my heartbeat so rapidly it hurts. I hardly notice Rafe manhandling me onto my knees or the feel of his bare thighs against mine as he rubs his huge cock through my soaked, greedy slit.
"Tell me where John B is. I'm begging you." I cry. A sharp smack lands against my ass and I yelp, my hands balling into fists at my back as he slaps me again and again as he works his cock inside me.
"Stop begging for your brother and beg me for this cock." Rafe snarls, using both hands to find leverage on my hips and thrusting the rest of the way inside me so hard I almost drop back down to the floor with a cry. He's too big and I'm still so sore from last night but the pleasure overpowers the pain. I moan like a dirty whore as he uses me, cursing and grunting with every powerful thrust. My face drags against the floor, my arms and hands are numb from loss of feeling and my knees are killing me but I don't tell him to stop. It feels like a never ending cycle of betrayal but my body doesn't care as my toes curl, my eyes start to roll back, and my pussy clamps down like a vice.
"Rafe, I-I.."
"Beg me to let you cum. Beg for me like you did last night."
"Please, Rafe, please." I scream, my body trembling as his hands tighten painfully on my hips, his nails biting the skin as he hammers into me like I'm nothing but I tool for his pleasure.
"Cum, slut." I hate when he calls me that but my body tightens further, everything suddenly going black as I cum so hard my knees give out and Rafe fucks me into the floor. His breath fans across my ear before he finds my shoulder and bites me in the place he did last night, sinking in his teeth so hard I sob as he releases a moment later, filling my body with his warmth so deeply that it hurts. He pulls out with a grunt, dragging his cum back out of me and leaving a warm, sticky mess as I try to gather myself. Rafe doesn't undo my hands as he slips me onto my back and enters me again, holding my legs firmly against his chest as he fucks his cum back into me.
"Rafe." My voice is barely more than a whisper. I'm practically delirious. He's making a mess but I can't seem to care as I watch the way his eyes burn into me, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, sweat dripping down his face, all while still fully clothed.
"You weren't a prank." Rafe slams into me harder, my hands begging for relief as I scoot back and forth across the floor. I cum with a scream, my back arching off the floor as my body explodes with pure bliss. Minutes pass before I come back down and Rafe has pulled away, tucking himself away and looking like nothing happened while I look and feel like someone who was fucked hard.
“You distracted me so your two morons could take my brother. You made me a part of this stupid prank. You used me.” I rasp, sitting up and carefully sliding my panties back up my legs, ignoring the mess we’ve made.
“That’s not what it is now.” Rafe says cooly, watching as I stand and tug my shorts back up. His eyes move to the floor and I know he’s looking at the puddle of cum we’ve left but I refuse to look.
“I don’t believe you. I never will. You were nice to me! You manipulated me! I let you take my virginity because I thought—.”
“That I liked you? Y/N, your brother is literally my mortal enemy. He took my sister so I took his. I took your virginity because I wanted to. I’m not a nice guy but you knew that. You knew the consequences of this. The only problem now is that I don’t think I’m done with you yet and the moment I release your brother, I’ll never see you again.” My heart breaks in my chest, shattering into a million tiny pieces so abruptly that I have to catch myself on the couch to keep from collapsing.
“Is-is he alive?” I sob, hating how casual and careful Rafe looks in his khakis and fucking polo.
“Well, yea. He’s just holed up somewhere until I’m done with his sister.” Rafe shrugs, hands in his pockets and looking every bit the arrogant spoiled rich guy he is.
“You’re fucking psycho! What makes you think I’ll sleep with you ever again after this? You can’t just decide you want to keep me after you’ve manipulated me and used me. This isn’t even about me. It’s between the damn Kooks and Pogues.” I yell at him. Rafe smirks, running his hand over his buzzed head.
“No, it is about you. You’re John B’s most priced possession right next to my sister. It’s only fitting that I corrupt his sister the way he did mine. My father may never be the same after losing Sarah.”
“Well your father is a piece of shit.” I clip and Rafe’s smug facade drops. He lunges for me and I scream, taking off into a run and throwing myself up the stairs as he tramples after me.
“Run, little rabbit! The longer you let me play the sooner I’ll let your brother go!” Rafe calls as I make my way up another set of stairs, my entire body shaking with adrenaline as I sprint for the last door on the right. If I can get to a window I can climb onto the roof and scream for help until someone notices. I’d even jump into the pool at this point.
I barely get the knob turned when Rafe slams into my back, shoving the door open and throwing me onto the bed.
“Rafe, please.” I cry, trying not to stare as he rips his polo over his head and yanks off the remained of his clothing before straddling me on the bed and ripping my tank top in half.
“Keep begging. I like it.” Rafe hisses, his cock hard and bobbing towards his navel as if to prove his point. Rafe slams his mouth down on mine, his hands sliding under my bra to cup my breasts that he spent all night marking. I rear my hand back and slap his hard, making him bite my lip in the process as he yanks away and pins my arms down with a snarl.
“I will break your arm if you hit me again.” Rafe growls.
“Maybe you should break my legs too so I can’t run.” I spat without thinking. His wicked grin makes me instantly regret my words as he leans down to lick up the side of my face.
“Now there’s an idea. I could keep you in my basement and no one would know.” Rafe pinches my nipples before sliding up onto my chest and shoving his massive dick in my face. I look up at him with as much disgust as I can before he fists the top of my hair, making me cry out before he shoves his cock down my throat.
“Ahh, fuck yes. Get me nice and wet, baby.” Rafe groans as I choke and gag, tears streaming down my face. Just then it clicks. The basement. I’d bet anything that’s where John B is. It would have to be somewhere close. How else could he keep him alive?
“You know, I think I might love you.” Rafe chuckles, pulling back and claiming my mouth in a rough kiss before I can even catch my breath.
“You don’t hurt people you love.” I spat, watching as he crawls down my body and takes his time sucking each of my nipples into his mouth. I fist the comforter to refrain from crying out. He didn’t deserve to hear my sounds of pleasure.
“You do if you know they’ll leave you.” Rafe mumbles around my flesh in his mouth. His licks his way down my sternum, licking his lips as he comes face to face with my pussy.
“It didn’t have to be like this.” I bite out just as he swipes his tongue through my slit.
“Maybe it didn’t.” Rafe licks me lazily, like he’s got all the time in the world as he hauls my legs over his shoulders. “But John B would always be in the way. So if he can ruin my family, then I can ruin his.”
#smutwarning#outer banks smut#rafe cameron x smut#rafe cameron#rafe fanfiction#rafe x reader#dark!rafe cameron#tw dub con#tw dubious consent
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— again | leon kennedy
pairing: leon x afab reader
warnings: smut!, fingering, hair pulling, name calling, praising, unprotected sex :0, aftercare <33
synopsis: training with leon leaves you sore in more than 1 way
wc: 2k+
note: i thought abt this at work and when i got home i immediately started writing
── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──
“Again” Leon’s voice pierced through the air as you swiped away your sweat. You huffed and swung at him, but he blocked it— again. “Again” You shook your head as your lungs, and muscles were working overtime. “Can’t” you said breathlessly as you felt your vision slowly get hazy, “Yes you can go again” You felt your body getting more and more tired, but you knew if you didn’t do what Leon said he’d make you do sit-ups or running as punishment.
You felt anger bubbling as his voice replayed like a broken record in your head. “Again, Again, Again, Again” Your vision went blurry and you could barely hear his voice as you swayed and lunged at him with all the force you could muster up. You went straight for his face— then you were on the floor on your back.
You were gasping as the wind was knocked out of you— you couldn’t see or hear anything, all you could feel was pain. You felt your heart beating out of your chest and you were desperately trying to breathe— You felt hands helping you up and to sit on your ass.
“Drink some water” You heard softly but mostly ringing and you turned and tried to grab whatever was being handed to you but you completely missed. Leon shook his head “Here” You felt something being pressed to your lips, you leaned back and drank up the water.
It was ice cold and refreshing, you quickly chugged it like a little kid breathing heavily, you felt it leave your lips and you chased after it desperately. “Whoa hold on” you heard a little more clearly and you slowly started to regain your sight. Water dribbled down your chin and onto your neck, as you cleared your throat.
You huffed as you regained your breath and felt Leon press a rag to your forehead wiping sweat as you wiped your chin and neck. “You almost got me” he chuckled softly “Almost isn’t good enough” you huffed out pulling at your shirt— feeling sticky and sweaty.
Your muscles were aching and you wanted to continue, but you knew you couldn’t push yourself too hard or you’d snap. “I just— need a minute,” you said laying down, you sighed in satisfaction as your back met the cold floor. “I’m not too sure you can take anymore” he chuckled softly watching you starfished on the ground trying to catch your breath.
“I can— I just need a minute” you groaned, was this motherfucker deaf? You just needed to recollect yourself for a second before you came back swinging— metaphorically and literally. Leon rolled his eyes watching your chest go up and down, over and over again. There was something about seeing you all sweaty and riled up that made his cheeks flush ever so lightly.
He ignored those thoughts and swallowed dryly, “Okay, I think I’m okay” you said sitting up and reaching your hand out— signaling Leon to help you up. Leon chuckled as you mumbled under your breath, he grasped your hand before pulling you up.
He might’ve pulled too hard because you went flying into his chest, “What the fuck Leon” you said holding onto him because your legs were jelly. He laughed and you felt the vibration ring through him and you slowly felt a flicker in your stomach as his hands were on you. “You definitely aren’t up to continuing— look at you,” he said smirking lightly as his fingers dug deeper into your skin.
You didn’t want to admit that he was right, but there was tension slowly building and it was making your legs weaker than they already were. “I can walk asshole,” you said feigning confidence, you knew you couldn’t but you didn’t want to look at Leon’s face anymore before he noticed your face growing even more red.
You pushed yourself away from him and tried to take a step before immediately falling, Leon rushed to catch you— but the momentum caused both of you to fall. Leon quickly hugged you and turned so he would hit the floor instead of squishing you like a pancake. “Fuck” he groaned and you felt butterflies as you looked up at him.
Your hands were on his chest and you pressed yourself to get up, but Leon stopped you. “Hold on, give me a sec’” he sighed, you smirked, “Now who’s the one who needs a second”. Leon’s eyes shot open “Shut up,” he said, shaking his head. His hand was on your waist and you were painfully aware of it.
You could feel the heat slowly going to your center and it was becoming uncomfortable as your thighs squeezed together. Your breath hitched as Leon sat up and was still holding onto you. Leon groaned mentally as his pants were getting tighter looking at your helpless state, unable to walk— he wished you were unable to walk because of something else.
You looked up at him through your lashes and Leon’s lips parted as he slowly pulled you into his lap. You both were holding your breath as you both inched closer to one another. You could feel the heat radiating off him and you wanted to share that— you licked your lips and Leon looked down at you.
His gaze was dark and you felt electricity through your body— you brought your hand to the back of his neck and pressed your lips to his. He immediately melted into you and dug his finger into you, you pressed your chest to him as he pulled you in even closer. “Fuck” he mumbled in between kisses as his dick grew, you smirked against him and your hips jerked causing him to gasp lightly.
You felt his tongue meet yours as you entangled your fingers into his hair, Leon’s hips ground up into yours making you both moan. “Leon” you moaned as he pulled away and left sloppy kisses on your neck. You gasped as he bit you lightly before kissing it right after and leaving red marks all over you.
“Please” you moaned not even sure what you were asking for, “Tell me you want me” Leon gruffed against your neck grinding into you, “I want you Leon,” you said pulling his hair. Leon immediately pulled away from your skin and took off your shirt kissing your chest and cupping your breasts. “I’m going to take care of you” Leon mumbled and you felt a surge of electricity sprung through you after hearing that.
You tugged at his shirt trying to take it off, he understood your signal as he pulled away and peeled his shirt off too. You reached back and unclasped your bra letting it fall as Leon kissed your lips again. He cupped your chest again as he played with your nipple— rolling it between his fingers before he pinched and pulled lightly. You gasped and moaned as your hips sputtered and he smiled against your plush lips.
Leon let go as he unbuckled his belt, you tried to lift to take off your shorts but Leon stopped you. “I said I’d take care of you,” he said as his face got serious, he unzipped your shorts before slipping them off you, you felt the cold air hit your clothed cunt and you whined. “Leon please” again the mindlessly begging.
He reached into his boxers pulling out his cock and you looked down swallowing dryly. He smirked watching you gawk at him, “Take a picture it’ll last longer” you furrowed your brows “Shut up” you said rolling your eyes as he pushed your panties to the side. His fingers grazed your wet cunt making you take a breath through your teeth as he looked at you watching to see your reactions.
He rubbed your clit and you squirmed, he then plunged his fingers into you making your head fall into the crook of his neck. You moaned as his fingers flicked into you, “Leon I want more” you said breathlessly, he chuckled “Want what?” you groaned and tried to grind into his fingers.
“Nun uh, say it,” Leon said, slapping your clit, you moaned and tried to speak before he slapped it again. You couldn’t find the words and Leon wasn’t helping, “Leon please— can’t—think” you said as tears were forming as he kept slapping your clit, again, again, and again.
“Fuck me!” you said frustrated and exhausted, Leon stopped and smiled “Atta girl”. He then brought you closer as you hovered over his dick, he held you by your hips before he pushed you slowly onto him. You moaned in satisfaction as he fits perfectly as you hugged his cock. You grew impatient as you wanted to feel him pound into you, “move Leon please” he followed your request immediately.
His hips bucked up into you making you moan and he groaned, he set a nice pace as you threw your head back. Leon laid down as you played with your chest, you reached down and tried to rub your clit before Leon grabbed your hand. “Do you know how to listen?” he gruffed before grabbing you and flipping you over.
Your back met the cold ground and he lifted your leg onto his shoulder, he went back into you and you bit your lip. His hips slapped into yours as you grabbed his forearm, his thumb pressed against your clit and rubbed circles, you felt coils of pleasure in your lower stomach. Leon picked up the pace as your moans grew louder and he felt himself slowly losing all thoughts.
He could only focus on how good you felt, and how desperately he wanted to see you cum all over him. His hips fucked into you faster and harder as your moans started to become higher pitched. The coils were slowly getting tighter and you let yourself become lost in the way Leon’s hips rolled against yours.
Your eyes rolled back as he dipped down and kissed your neck, “Yeah— fuck, oh my god” you moaned as his finger kept circling your clit. He felt a cramp in his hand and arm forming but he ignored it— he didn’t care one bit as long as you were satisfied.
Leon moaned as he felt his high creeping up, “Oh my god— you feel so fucking good, you were made for me— such a perfect slut” he said smiling as sweat was dripping down his face. The coils were getting tighter and tighter and you couldn’t hold them back anymore as Leon grabbed your hands and placed them above your head with one hand. “Leon— I’m gonna cum— please don’t stop” you moaned as your pleasure went into crescendo.
You snapped and gushed onto him as your voice cracked, Leon kept rubbing your clit and you whined as you felt overstimulation creeping up. “I know— almost there” he chuckled and moved his hand from your clit to the back of your leg. His other hand pressed into your wrists as his thrusts got sloppier, “God look at you— so pretty, you’re such a pretty girl huh? My pretty little whore”
You both moaned as he groaned and pulled out and finished all over your stomach and chest. “Jesus christ” He moaned as his cock twitched, you both were breathing heavily as you both caught your breath. Leon got up zipping his pants, and grabbed the rag pouring some water on it before coming back and pressing it to your forehead.
You smiled softly as you closed your eyes leaning into the cold rag. He smiled softly watching your chest go up and down, he then cleaned up the mess he made— he wiped your fluids before wiping your stomach and chest. He threw the rag in the corner before helping you get dressed and he pulled you into his warm arms, his back was pressed against the wall as you were in between his legs. He smiled as he played with your hair as you slowly drifted into sleep not caring about being on the ground.
taglist 🏷️: @d34ng3l @ghostkennedy @adaelines @nvoirs @konigbabe @rat-typewriter @meowsiee @dilucstruelover @antidesire
#fanfic#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy x y/n#leon kennedy imagine#re4 leon#resident evil#resident evil leon#resident evil smut#pure smut#aftercare#leon kennedy fluff#leon x reader#leon x reader smut#leon s kennedy#leon s kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x y/n#leon s kennedy x you
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Trans Taiju Headcannons (but filthier this time 💙)
Pairings: Taiju x reader
Warnings: GN!reader, top!reader, bottom!Taiju, dom & sub reader parts, sub and dom Taiju, trans Taiju, rough sex, daddy kink, choking, use of the term 'tdick'
Genre/Format: Smut; Headcannons & scenarios
Please check my blog title to verify whether requests are closed or not! Thank you!
This guy is a kinky and kinda rough motherfucker
He is a switch & vers through and through, but either way he likes it rough
It's either pound or be pounded 99% of the time. The other 1% is when Taiju craves a gentle touch or craves treating you gently (though he'd never admit that out loud...)
If you have a dick it's no longer yours. That dick belongs to him now, to use however he damn well pleases
“F-fuck! Taiju please...gah! Baby, slow down...” You plead through labored breaths, sweaty and flushed while your body is used like a toy for his pleasure
Taiju grunts loudly as his hips slam down onto yours, riding your dick with a hunger that no other man has ever known before. His dripping pussy squelches with every harsh slam down, swallowing your cock entirely. You swear he's trying to get himself knocked up whenever he gets into these moods; cuffing your hands to the bed post and yanking your pants off before stripping off his own clothing. Crawling on top of you, licking your dick and sucking on it until you're seconds away from shooting down his throat, then releasing you just to hover his soaking cunt over your thick member before sinking down onto it
Taiju's eyes cross as he slowly begins to move, grinding onto your cock as it stretches his walls euphorically. A dangerously seductive look hides behind those pretty eyes as he keeps you pinned to the bed below and uses your cock as his personal dildo. Drawing orgasm after orgasm out of you until you can barely even breathe. His own juices drip down your hips and soak into the sheets because he just can't stop cumming! The feeling of your loads shooting straight into his womb is too good!
Afterwards, you're usually wrecked; overstimulated beyond belief from your partner riding you for hours
He's surprisingly good with aftercare though, so you at least know that you'll be taken care of!
He'd never admit this either, but Taiju is kind of a cuddlebug. Even though he just bruised your pelvis and probably left some bite marks or more bruises on the rest of your body, he still needs to hold you afterwards. Still needs you snuggled up against his chest or in his lap 🥺
If you have a pussy, Taiju is going to trib with you constantly. No you do not get a choice 💙
Your pussy is also his toy, meant for rubbing against his pussy until there's a flood of juices underneath your bodies
“Taiju–!! Oh god that...th-that feels so good...aaahh!!” Your screams fuel his own pleasure as another orgasm caused your entire body to tremble below him. Taiju has a firm grip on your leg as it's thrown over his shoulder, his other hand wrapped around your throat while the bed creaks from how hard he's rocking against you
Your pussies are both puffy and sore from hours of grinding together, cumming over and over, squirting on each other, occasionally having your clits spanked by Taiju. Every kind of stimulation possible. Taiju just needed to have you pressed against him, tribbing the night away until one or both of you collapse from exhaustion
The way your tdicks press together feels heavenly. The overly sensitive nubs are coated in slick and sore from countless climaxes, yet neither of you want to stop when you're connected in this way. Desperate to frot your cocks together while you pant into each other's mouths in between sloppy kisses. Far too wrapped up in pleasure to care about anything else
Taiju loves to have his hands all over you. He has to grab you somewhere, somehow
Gripping your waist, tangled in your hair, choking you, squeezing your thighs, holding your hands (don't bring that up though. Taiju probably wouldn't admit to doing something ~sappy~)
Taiju has a major daddy kink...like, it's really major
If you have a dick:
Taiju's large hand squeezes your neck while his pussy squeezes your cock, both of you on the brink of an orgasm. His husky voice brings another wave of heat to your cheeks and ears as he purrs, “Call me that name I like so much, darlin'. Nice and loud, yeah?”
“D-daddy...mmph daddy!” The words tumble out as Taiju's hips snap down sharply, his walls clench around your dick at the sound of your voice addressing him with the title that he so adores
“Mmm daddy...it feels too good...wanna fill you up again, daddy...” You repeat. That seemed to do the trick as Taiju growls, bouncing on your cock until you fill his aching cunt again, screaming one last ‘daddy’ for good measure
If you have a pussy:
Impulsively wrapping his large hand around your neck, Taiju slowly tightens his grip as he nears his next climax. His cunt clenches around nothing from a particular thrust where your clits brush against one another. He needs to cum right fucking now, and the best way to relieve that ache is to get a little motivation
“Mm sweetheart, needja to call me daddy so I can cum all over your little pussy. ” He drawls in that husky voice that you love so much. You eagerly nod, choking out the title while you roll your hips against his
“Fuck...daddy, right there...fuck me right there...” The word sends an electric shock to his system, but it's not enough. He asks you to repeat it louder, say it again.
“D-daddy...yes daddy...want you- want you to fuck me, daddy!!” Your sexy voice pushes Taiju to the edge as he slides his hand in between your cunts, alternating between rubbing his clit and yours. With a loud moan, Taiju finally cums again, hips stuttering as his oversensitive folds slide over yours as you manage to cum nearly at the same time
As for submissive trans Taiju....
I know for a fact that this man loves to be collared and leashed. Craves the feeling of submitting to you so deeply that he'd act like a pet for you
Have him suck you off/eat you out while you tug on the leash every now and then. Pulling him against your pelvis as your cock fills his throat. Pulling him further into your cunt until he can't breathe
Taiju's so eager to please you, it's really cute
He does enjoy the humiliation though. Of course it's embarrassing to be on his knees in nothing except way too small panties, or maybe even nude, while you pet him and call him a “Good kitty~”
But he enjoys being knocked down a peg in the safety of your presence. Being conditioned into your perfect whore with every honey-coated praise and loving brush of your fingers against his skin
If you have a dick:
Taiju's grip on the pillow under his head is violent as that sweet spot inside of him is repeatedly stimulated, bringing him more pleasure than before. Your cock hits deep inside with every thrust while your hands rest gently on Taiju's waist
“Oh honey, that must feel good. You're gushing around me sooo much~ ” You tease, gingerly touching lower and lower until your fingers find Taiju's tdick and stroke it. Obscene moans fill your ears as you play with your partner's body, knowing all of the things that make him tick and using that against him. Fucking his wet cunt so much that his brain basically turns off and he mindlessly agrees to every word that you say
“Are you gonna cum again, lovely?” A frantic nod from Taiju followed by your hips pistoning into him sends him reeling. Arching his muscular back like a slut as he wails in pleasure, chanting “Thankyouthankyouthankyou—!! ” as another flood of his nectar spills onto the bed
If you have a pussy:
“Uh-huh~ Mmm just like that~ ” Taiju moans, fucked stupid by your clits rubbing together. His legs are wrapped around your waist while you lean over his large body and thrust against him, grinding your cunts together vigorously
“Yeah? That feels good, slut?” You spat, carding your fingers through his gorgeous blue hair and lightly scratching his scalp in the process. “You love it when I fuck that lil pussy of yours, don't you?”
Exhausted and shaking, Taiju nods his head, biting his bottom lip hard as another orgasm bubbles to the surface. You notice this and swiftly stuff his cunt with your fingers, immediately pushing on his sweet spot as more of his juices drip down your knuckles. The lewd, wet sounds of his fuckhole turn both of you on even more. So you finger him a little rougher, a little faster, curling your fingers and scissoring them while Taiju bites back a gravelly groan
One quick slap to his impossibly sensitive clit is all it takes to rip that climax right out of him, forcing your baby to cum on your fingers while you call him the most beautiful thing you've ever seen
As mentioned before, aftercare is surprisingly delightful with Taiju
Whether you're bigger or smaller than Taiju, he's going to demand that you curl up in his lap or at least on his chest or something
If he was the dom then he wants to baby you for the rest of the day/night
Now if Taiju was the sub, that's your chance to baby him and coo all sorts of sweet praise while he's vulnerable
He might whine as your hands glide over his skin, whispering loving words against his neck or shoulders, but he does enjoy and appreciate it
Taiju can be really sweet when he lets go of that tough guy act and opens up with someone that he trusts dearly
Reblogs are extremely appreciated <3
#my writing#tokyo rev smut#tokyo revengers smut#tokyo revengers#tokyo rev x reader#taiju shiba#taiju smut#taiju shiba smut#taiju x reader#trans taiju#dom taiju#sub taiju#gn reader#gender neutral reader#dom reader#sub reader#headcannons#trans smut#trans headcanon
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Eat Your Young
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (platonic!Ellie Williams x reader)
Author’s note: I’m sorry (gif by @pedrohub)
Summary: “Thoe I walk through the valley in the shadow of death I fear no evil for I am the meanest motherfucker in the valley.” [4.1k!!!]
Warnings: episode 8 spoilers!! David (this is a warning in itself), Ellie in peril, canonical violence, bargaining, reader being a badass because I said so, a slight allusion to sa, PTSD symptoms, physical trauma, angst with a happy (slightly ambiguous) ending
Your body aches when you come to. Your face pulses with bruises, and you can feel broken ribs pushing against your lungs. Memories spark under your throbbing skull— waking up to the sound of the garage opening, Ellie yelling for help, the men, the horse going down. She should've woken you up earlier. She never should've tried to face them by herself. Your eyes blink open, and a hideous red carpet stares back at you. Rope ties your hands and ankles to the chair you're sitting on, and you look around for Ellie.
An empty room has never been as scary as it is right now. Your heartbeat quickens against sore ribs, and your breathing rattles loudly. Did they take you both? If so, where is she, and why isn't she with you? Did they find Joel? You think about how weak he was when you left, how he could barely hold his own knife, and how delirious he was. Your teeth grind together as you try to shrink back tears at the thought of him dying alone in that stupid basement. Your thoughts are interrupted by a door opening, and you look up enough to see the familiar man walking through the door.
David pauses by the swinging door once he sees you're awake. His eyes rake over your injuries with an alarming lack of care, and you shift in the chair. Your shoulders scream in pain, and you wince, but Ellie stays at the forefront of your mind.
"Where is she?" You ask. David grabs a chair from one of the tables and sets it in front of you. He's close enough that you can smell sweat and grime on him. You straighten up, making yourself as big as possible, as he sits across from you and stares at you intently.
"I was starting to worry about you," he says, and you let out a shaky breath. "How are you feeling?"
"Where the fuck is she?"
"She's alive. That's all you need to know right now."
"Let me see her."
"I'm afraid you're not in the position to be demanding things," he says as he rubs his hands together. You glance at the door he came through and make a mental note. She has to be through there. She would be able to hear you if you called for her. Does she know how close you are? "Are you her mother?"
"Fuck you."
"You're feisty just like she is. If you're not her mother, you must be the closest thing to it," he says. You try not to let his words settle over your bones. No mother would fail her child the way you've failed her, the way you're actively failing her. "She wouldn't tell me anything about the man, but she asked if you were okay. She cares a lot about you two."
"Is he here?" You hate how small you sound when you ask about him. David smirks, and your skin crawls.
"Not yet, no. We're looking for him now," he says. "My people are dead set on vengeance. It's a good thing I went out with them this morning. Otherwise, you'd both be dead."
"Lucky us."
"I know you didn't kill Alec, and I'm sorry you've traveled with such an angry man for so long. Once we find him, we'll bring him to justice, and you'll be free," he says like he's offering you a one-way ticket to Heaven. "We have room within our group. You and your daughter could live here safely. Start a new life."
"So, you want someone to pay for the loss of life? Is that it? You kidnapped me and a fucking kid to settle a score?"
"In a sense." He sighs. You bite the inside of your cheek as you think about Ellie. She has to be fucking terrified right now— alone, hungry, and maybe hurt. She's strong, though. She could find Joel and move him to a safer location. You've seen her hold her own before, and you trust her as much as you trust Joel. She doesn't need you, but she needs Joel.
"If you let her go, I'll settle your score. Whatever you need to end this shit. I'll call him off, and they'll leave and never come back." You decide. David sits back in his chair as he considers your offer, your sacrifice.
"You really think a man like him would just leave you here?"
"He'd do anything I asked him to," you say. "Just let her go. This isn't her fight, and I think you know that."
"Why do you care so much about him? He's a murderer."
"So am I. I've done really shitty things to stay alive, things I can never tell her about. I'm not a good person."
"But he is?"
"He's trying to be," you say, catching sight of the Bible sitting on a nearby table. You let yourself soften just enough. "Isn't that what you're all about? Salvation and redemption and sacrificing yourself for the greater good? That girl is his chance at redemption, maybe his last one. They need each other way more than they need me."
"You love him." It's not a question. It's a statement like pointing at the clouds gathering on the horizon and announcing there will be a storm— obvious and beyond a shadow of a doubt.
"Let them go. Please." You breathe. David sits silently, tapping his fingers together, before standing and wordlessly walking through the door he came in from. A tear falls from your eye, but you quickly wipe it on your shirt sleeve. You listen for voices as the building creaks against the force of the blizzard outside before twisting your wrists against the rope. The burn makes you grit your teeth, but the slow loosening is enough for you to continue.
You don't have a plan for getting out of here alive, only a plan for distracting David long enough for Ellie to escape and find Joel. They can take care of each other. They'll finish what we started. They'll be okay. You repeat it like a gospel, like a blind truth that you have to follow because you can't afford to think differently. You hope she understands that this is the last thing you want. That if you could've kept her safe forever, you would've. That abandoning her and Joel was never in the cards. You hope she knows that you love her.
Ellie shouts from the other room, but you can't make out her words. The silence that follows makes you sick to your stomach. You would take her nonstop talking over this eerie stillness. Your fingers search for a weak spot in the ropes as blood drips down your hands.
"Hey!" A gruff voice rings out from the other side of the room, and you freeze. One of David's men walks over to stand in front of you, a heavy semi-automatic weapon in his hands. When you look down the barrel, a gold bullet stares back at you, but you can't look away.
"Did you find him?" You ask. Something uncertain flickers behind his eyes, and that's enough of an answer. There's a chance, however minuscule, that he's alive and out there and trying to find both of you. A dull and dangerous ball of hope forms between your broken ribs. "We can end this here. If you just let us go, we can put this all behind us."
"And if I don't? You'll what? Kill us just like you killed Alec?"
"Oh, no. You'd be lucky to die as fast as he did," you say. "After what you did to her, you really think I'd just let you die that easily? I'll rip all your fucking teeth out of your skull and feed them to you before I even think about putting a bullet in your head." Terror flashes across his face, but Ellie's screams keep it growing. The man in front of you turns toward the sound, giving you a window to slip your hands from the loose ropes and grab at his gun. You push it up and away from him, a stray bullet singing through the air and hitting the ceiling. He shoves you back, and the chair breaks as you hit the ground so hard that you see stars.
David rushes in from the other room, blood splattering his clothes— her blood. He looks pissed as he assesses the situation, holding his hand tightly. "I offer you a home here, and this is what you do," Your molars buzz as molten rage rolls off you. David lunges at you, grabbing your face with one hand and holding up the other so you can see his broken finger. You try to squirm away from him, but his grip is tight enough for your jaw to creak with the threat of it shattering. "Look what she fucking did to me! You think you're going to get any sympathy now?" His breath is hot on your face as he shouts, but Ellie's blood is the only thing you care about. You spit in his eyes and wrestle out of his grasp, reaching for a piece of splintered wood. A warning shot fires by your ear before you can lift it, and splitting, ringing pain slices through your brain.
Your heart beats in your face as you try to army crawl further away, shaking your head hard like it will release the muffled pain. A swift kick to your ribs knocks you down, and you roll onto your back, pressing on the broken rib as you try to breathe. David and David's Bitch (you honestly don't care to learn his name, and that title is more fitting anyway) stare down at you with their guns in your direction. David tsks as he steps forward to stand over you, too close for your comfort. You move to put space between you, but he kicks you again. You gasp and bite your tongue hard enough to taste blood.
"I can't wait for your guy to show up so he can see just how pathetic you actually are." He threatens and you laugh, spitting blood.
"Trust me, he's the least of your fucking problems right now." You say, planting your hands behind you to push yourself off the floor. The butt of a pistol cracks across your skull before you can get far.
"No!" Ellie's voice jolts you awake. Your vision is blurry, and the throbbing pain in your body makes you nauseous, but none of that matters as much as she does. Her screams are the stuff of nightmares, helpless and scared out of her fucking mind. You push off the floor, forcing yourself to walk toward the sound until your foot stops moving. You look down to find a rope tied around your right foot, connecting you to one of the pillars in the middle of the room.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." You say as you bend down to try pulling it off of you. There's no time. She needs you now. Tears form in your eyes as the rope burns the skin around your ankle, drawing blood. You look around for a knife, glass, anything to help you cut it but find nothing. She's stopped screaming, but that doesn't do anything to stop you from trying to get to her. The blood dripping into your socks makes the rope slippery and stains your hands when you finally get it off. You stand so fast that you get a headrush but don't stop until Ellie's body collides with yours. She's covered in blood and almost screams until she realizes who you are.
"I... I thought. I heard..." She says, clutching your shirt in between her hands. You shake your head as you grab her and run to the doors. They barely budge as you try to push them open, and Ellie grabs your hand, running into the kitchen. She's shaking, and her hair is a mess as she looks around for something to fight with.
"Ellie, we need to go. We can't stay here." You say as she grabs a smoldering log.
"Cover me." She says, barely looking at you before rushing back out to hide near the door. You grab a knife and duck under a nearby table as David walks in with a bloody cleaver. You grip the knife closer, hoping to slash his Achilles tendon as he walks by when Ellie pops up and throws the log at David's head. The curtain behind him catches fire as you try to track her movements. She stays low and quiet, just like Joel taught her, and you have half a mind to be proud of her for listening.
"There's no way out," David calls as the fire travels up the curtain to the ceiling. He's pacing calmly away from you as the building starts to go up in flames around us. "All the doors are locked, and I have the keys. Nobody is coming to save you, Ellie." You move to the kitchen once his back is turned to you, hoping to find a bottle or bigger knife to distract him. Ellie meets your eyes across the room, and you nod at her, a silent reassurance that you will not let anything happen to her. You find a half-full bottle of wine and quickly dump it down the drain as David rambles about something. You stay low as you look out the kitchen window and throw the bottle to the other side of the room, the last bits of alcohol making the flames grow bigger. You duck when David turns toward the sound and walk back to the swinging door, waiting for the right moment to come out.
A piece of ceiling falls in front of the door, and flames lick under it, just as you hear Ellie stab David. You turn to jump through the kitchen window when one of David's guys enters the room and locks eyes with you. You've got to be fucking kidding me. You swing the knife at him, slicing his arm as he brings his gun up to shoot. The long shotgun pushes at your chest and sends you backward as blood pours from his arm. You hit the edge of the counter hard but stay up and swinging. The man grunts right in your face, and the fire is tearing the building apart, but all you hear is Ellie. She's screaming louder than you've ever heard, and she's calling for you, for help. You swing the knife once more and hit something squishy that gives. The man sobs in pain, and you dig the knife further into his eye until he stops twitching.
Once he hits the ground, you jump through the kitchen window and dive onto the floor below, fire burning your arms as you do. You grip the knife closer to you and stand until you see the full sight of Ellie and David. She's on top of him and hitting him over and over and over again with his cleaver. Blood splatters across her face and clothes as David becomes less of a body and more of a stain. You don't try to stop her. You just drop your knife and slowly walk into her line of sight with your hands up. By the time she stops raising her arms to hack the body, she's crying and breathing hard enough for you to hear her over the flames.
"Ellie," you call, and she jumps like she forgot you were there. The look in her eyes now is so different from the one she gave you earlier when you tried to tell her nothing terrible would happen. It's familiar and heart breaking. She's shaking when you reach for her and pull her off of David. "We need to go, okay? We gotta get out of here." You wrap your arms around her and shield her eyes as you walk past the bodies she left in her wake.
The snow is a welcome relief from the smothering smoke and fire when you leave the building. Ellie stays tucked under your arm, letting you take her weight as you move toward the blue water, away from David and whatever god failed you. Her shoulders fall slack until a pair of arms wrap around us, and she screams again. Your grip on her tightens as she cries and kicks at whoever is trying to grab you. She nearly falls to her knees as the arms spin her around, taking her away from you.
"Hey, look," Joel's voice is soft as he holds her face. You let him take her and take a step back, trying to process that he's alive. "It's me. It's me. It's okay."
"He tried to..." Ellie mumbles, and you have to turn away from them, vomit burning in your throat. You swallow hard as tears fall down your face and do your best to hold your sobs. "He tried to" is a sentence you've heard too many times but never from someone as young as Ellie. He tried to, and you were right there. He tried to, and you couldn't do anything. He tried to, and she was screaming for you. If David weren't already dead and burning, you'd go back and rip his fucking spine out. He tried to.
Joel saying your name makes you turn to see Ellie wrapped in his jacket, a faraway look in her eyes. You take her backpack from him and go to his other side to snake your arm around his back. He's shaking either from fear or pain. You don't know that it matters. Together, you work to get somewhere safe, helping to carry the weight of the past three months silently.
You found an empty house a few miles away from the resort and let Joel clean Ellie up in the bathroom. She clung to him the whole way here, trembling bloody hands wrapped around his middle. The cut on her nose is gnarly, and she has slices on her fingers from gripping the knife she used to kill David. Other than that, she's more mentally scarred than anything. As soon as she was clean and fed with twenty-year-old Spaghetti-O's, she fell asleep on Joel's chest, her bandaged hand resting over his heart as they lay on the floor together. The words you said to David while begging for their lives surround you. They need each other way more than they need me.
You feel like shit now that the adrenaline has died down. There are burns on your forearms, cuts on your hands, bruises swelling your face, and you're pretty sure the hearing in your left ear is permanently fucked. Your head pounds and your ribs twinge in pain when you breathe too deeply, but it's nothing compared to the screams echoing in your mind. They'll probably embed in your brain and repeat themselves for the rest of your life. You've never heard her scream like that— deep in her chest and desperate, like she was praying for someone to hear her and help, to kill the men who put their hands on her and then some.
He tried to.
Joel calls your name softly, but you can't turn to face him. Your eyes stay on the front door, the cool metal of your gun warming under your palm. "You should sleep," Joel murmurs as he puts a comforting hand on your back. He's careful not to jostle Ellie as he rubs circles into your skin. You shake your head as your fingers twitch against the gun.
"I was asleep when she," your voice catches in your throat, and you wipe at your eyes. "I didn't even hear her leave. I can't…."
"She's safe, and she's alive. That's the most important thing."
"I was so fucking scared, Joel. I could hear her screaming, and I couldn't do anything to help her," you sniffle as he tugs at your shirt, making you turn to look at him. His eyes are watery and sad, but he doesn't stop you. "The fucking apocalypse happened, and the scariest thing in the world is still a man who thinks he can take whatever he wants."
"I know, baby."
"I can still hear his voice. I-” He pulls you closer and gently takes the gun out of your hands. Slowly, he makes you lie beside him until you relax and use his bicep as a pillow. You're close enough to count the cuts on Ellie's sleeping face, and you almost wiggle away. Joel feels it and quickly kisses your forehead, his grip on you tightening enough to make you stay.
"Let me lay with my girls," he whispers before you can protest. "Please." You sigh and curl into him, wrapping your arm around his stomach, so your fingers can graze Ellie's arm. He traces patterns into your back as you count Ellie's breaths. Every rise and fall of her chest soothes your anxiety just a little more. Her nose scrunches in her sleep, and she mumbles something as her grip on Joel gets tighter. He shushes her and kisses her forehead, whispering, "we're right here, baby girl," into her temple. Then, probably without even realizing it, she moves her hand until it covers yours, her little fingers squeezing you like she's trying to decide if you're real. You take her hand in yours and squeeze back.
It’s moments like these that make you wonder how you could've gone so long without her. It's moments like these that make you wonder how you could ever go back to the life you had before. It's moments like these that give you a glimpse, a torturous peek, into what could've been. If you had met Joel earlier and had been faster and less guarded, maybe your paths may have crossed sooner. Maybe all those people you loved who died would still be alive somewhere. Maybe nothing would've changed at all.
"I'm so scared of losing her," You tell him, your eyes still stuck to Ellie's face. Joel takes a deep breath and nods. "When did she stop being cargo?"
"She was never just cargo."
"What are we gonna do?"
"We're gonna get her to the Fireflies. They'll do whatever they need, and then, I don't know. We could take her back to Jackson and get her settled. Let her have an actual childhood." He says. A regular, ordinary life with them sounds idyllic, something reserved for people way better than you are.
"What if something bad happens with the Fireflies?"
"Then, we do whatever it takes to keep her alive. Either way, we're gonna finish this."
"Whatever it takes." You echo.
"You should sleep," he says. Your body agrees with him even if you're hesitant. "I'll take the first watch. I've probably had enough sleep to last me, at least, a couple of hours." You stare at him to make sure he's okay to stay up before nodding. You squeeze Ellie's hand again and smoosh your cheek against Joel's shoulder, perfectly wrapped up in both of them. Joel goes back to rubbing your back to lull you to sleep, and all you can hear is their breathing and the birds singing to each other outside. Fireflies, ruthless FEDRA officers, Infected, and religious cults are far enough for you to trust that everything is okay.
"Joel," you say quietly. He hums, and you push yourself up on your elbow to look down at him. "I love you. I don't think I ever told you that, but I want you to know."
"You never had to. I always knew," he says, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight. "I love you, too." You want to say more. You want to say, "I'm sorry it took me so long to admit it. I'm sorry if it's too late. I'm sorry for falling in love with you in this world that makes love a weakness," but you don't. You lean down and kiss him like you've done hundreds of times and try not to think about what will happen tomorrow.
The only thing you care about is the two people you're curled up within an old, mildewy basement in the middle of fucking Colorado because they are your world now. And nothing will take your world away ever again.
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#the last of us#ellie williams#joel and ellie#joel miller x reader#the last of us x reader#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller the last of us#joel tlou#ellie the last of us#tlou part 1#tlou fic#tlou angst#joel miller angst#ellie williams angst
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House of Cards: Final
pairing: chishiya shuntarou x fem!reader
genre: angst, fluff, unrequited love (but is it really), pining
wc: 30.8k (i know, i’m sorry)
warnings: violence, niragi, spontaneously written at 2am and under the influence, chishiya is emotionally constipated, violence, mentions of sex, making out, mentions of murder, suicidal themes, slightly obsessive banda, season 2episode 7, reader is reckless, mentions of torture, daddy issues, smut, dry humping, nipple play, oral (f and m receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it >:(), multiple orgasms, a little choking, doggy style, missionary summary: the final games of borderland are upon you. it’s up to you and chishiya to navigate where you stand in this world and to each other.
a/n: IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG,, and thank you for 515 followers!! <333 ily ily :((( i’m sad this is the last part. also i think the aib fandom has been thinning lately </333. i took too long in writing damn. if anyone wants drabbles of the hoc couple i’d be down to write them! i really enjoyed writing this story. thank u for reading it!
AO3 link ; Part 2 (Previous Part)
You still weren’t sure if you’d died in the Queen of Clubs game and hallucinated last night’s events. Neither of you was clear about what that kiss meant. Was it just in the heat of the moment? Was it Chishiya acting on his apology? Or perhaps a reciprocation of what you feel for him? You don’t know and you were too scared to ask.
The kisses ended as the song ended. Chishiya pulled away as soon as that record stopped spinning. Then he smiled at you. A small one where the corners of his lips were slightly turned upward. It was a smile that could mean many things if we were talking about that white-haired guy. To make matters worse, that motherfucker turns around and leaves you alone in the living room, confused and somewhat turned on, without saying anything.
The light seeps through your closed lids and you try to block it with your right hand, scrunching your forehead in annoyance. Your other hand glides over the other side of the bed, searching for the man who slept beside you last night. The material of his shirt is soft against your palms, indicating that he’s still next to you in bed.
With your eyes open now, you see Chishiya who is still sleeping beside you. He looks so peaceful like this. Although it’s not the first time that you’ve woken up beside Chishiya, it’s somewhat different to find something familiar in the real world.
You were sure you’d never see him again when you found yourself in this world. You’ve lost all hope to get back to your previous life. But he’s here. He’s real and beside you. Somehow, you don’t know if you’re lucky or misfortunate for this. Sometimes, you wish you never found him at The Beach.
“Get back to sleep.”
He still had his eyes closed, forehead scrunching while he said that. You chuckle, his morning voice ten times more attractive to you. Suddenly, the tip of his nose is the next thing you fixate on. Using your index finger, you booped it, making his nose scrunch up and catching your hand with his.
His eyes finally flutter open, staring at you intently. The only light in the room is from the sunlight seeping through the windows, you can see the reflection of it in his eyes. From this close distance, you can see his dark eyes’ irises in hazel brown. His skin looks a little bit rougher and his lips are drier than they did in the real world. Despite this, his lips still looked like it was beckoning you, whispering to be tasted as they did last night.
You turn on your stomach, leaning unto your elbows for support as you shift your body closer to his. The action was not easy, your body sore from all the fighting you’d done in the last game. His face is about an inch away from yours, so close that you can hear each other breathing. There’s a weight that is put onto the back of your neck and you quickly realize that Chishiya’s hand is there.
He doesn’t do anything. He doesn’t push your head down to finally close the distance. He doesn’t even move his fingers. His hand just stays still there as you slightly hover over him.
“Hey, Shuntarou. Will you marry me?”
A wide grin spreads across your face when you ask him. In answer, the man’s face drops into a frown, his eyes unamused. “What? You kissed me last night. You have to marry me now.”
“I don’t think that’s what that usually entails,” he replies with his raspy voice, lips tugged to an amused smirk.
“Can I kiss you again?” You ask, ignoring his sassy remark to your unserious question. Your gaze fell onto his lips once more. You were too scared of his answer to meet his eyes. So you wait.
Just like that, he finally uses his hand on your nape to push your head down, smashing your lips against his. Last night’s kiss was unexpected and serene. It was your first kiss with Chishiya and to you, it was perfect. However, this one right now is needy—like he couldn’t get enough of you.
You weren’t a prude. You've shared a bed with men even if your heart was Chishiya’s. It was mostly due to curiosity, loneliness, and simply fulfillment of needs. And if you were being honest, you don’t know if Chishiya was even interested in matters of sex. You never really indulged each other in your sensual lives. And to be frank, you’d rather not think about Chishiya being intimate with someone else.
However, as he kisses you right now and how he gently pushes your shoulder with his other hand to lay your head on the pillow, you know that Chishiya knows a thing or two about pleasing his partner. His body hovers over you as his knee is between your legs and his hand beside your head. Your hands clung to his shirt as if to prove to yourself that yes, Chishiya Shuntarou, the love of your life and the man of your dreams, is melting you in a heated kiss on a bed you shared.
You register the plumpness of his lips as you’re still in a bit of shock. Chishiya’s free hand slides to your waist and gives you a squeeze in order for you to fall back into the rhythm of his kisses. These lips that would often frown and smirk at you, how long have you imagined what they would feel like? They were warm, contrasting his cold exterior. Even warmer is his tongue as he darts it out to lick at your lips, asking for entrance. You let him in, pulling him even closer to you by grasping his shirt down.
It’s just so Chishiya to do things with ease and perfection. It seemed calculated and somehow erotic like he was communicating every word that he couldn’t say through his kisses. When he pulls away, it elicits a breathy gasp from you. Your eyes were wide open, blown out, and staring at him with glossy eyes.
You’ve only felt this way a few times in your life, a number you can count with your fingers. Happiness, is it?
It’s not high. It wasn’t addicting. You’ve experienced that a lot with fighting. But this… this feeling is so pleasing that it almost brings you to tears. This was the kind of happiness that brings you to disbelief. It makes you think, “Do I deserve to be this happy?”
“More,” you plead, begging like you were an addict.
Chishiya hums, his deep voice sending you straight to heaven right there and then. He doesn’t lean in. Instead, he taps your cheeks with three fingers. Twice in a fast motion.
To your disappointment, Chishiya removes himself from you and gets off the bed. He exits the bedroom and you were left on the bed, thirsty like a fish out of the water.
You’ve put on new gym clothes. It was a black sports bra and active jogger pants. Chishiya was in the living room, reading a book he found somewhere lying around. It seemed he found something too. “I’m going for a jog,” you inform him, already stretching to start.
Chishiya doesn’t even look at you. Typical. But you know he heard you and he wants you to be safe. It’s dangerous for both of you to keep going like this. Communication is much needed in every relationship, no matter what kind of relationship it is. You’re not sure if those kisses have changed anything in yours and you should really talk about it. However, what you really need right now is to sweat it out and gain some confidence to ask him.
Yesterday, you and Chishiya took the chance of having a long visa to lounge around all day. He never kissed you again and acted like how he was before. What he did do was not let you out of the bed, insisting that you should rest your injuries away for the day. You obliged. When have you not?
Now, it’s early in the morning and the sun has not even reached its highest. The apartment was near trees, you’ve gone just away from the center as much as possible. Chishiya said that after you join the next game, it’d be best to move out of there. He assumes that since the games would be going down one by one, the King of Spades would go around the edges of Tokyo to push everyone back into the center.
As you were running along the sidewalks, you remember having morning jogs and stretching like this with Usagi, bringing Usagi and Arisu into your thoughts once again. They should be fine. Kuina too. Still, you can’t help but worry for them.
You’ve gone a bit far from the apartment, jogging by a short tunnel under a bridge. Before completely going in, you stop in your tracks, hearing something other than the wind whistling and leaves rustling. You focused on listening, hiding on the side and pulling a dagger from a strap on your leg.
It was breathing. Difficult breathing. And sobs. Someone is crying.
You’ve become careful with your steps, readying for anything as you approach the sound. Slowly, you reach the voice. It was one man, leaning against the wall of the tunnel. It was dark but you could see the gunshot wound on his head and the gun in his hand. He could barely move his mouth, dark red blood all over it. When he sees you, his sobs get louder.
You stand near him but not approaching him closely. He raises his empty hand and points at something. You follow his gaze to your hand. He was pointing at your dagger.
Oh.
Your eyes darkened at what he was insinuating—what he was asking of you.
“P-Please… end it.”
This stranger was asking you to mercy kill him. Why? He was done for what he’d done. Why would he kill himself? You’re not sure he could even reply if you ask him.
His bloodshot eyes plead with you as tears and blood fall from them. You walk closer to the man, your hands slightly trembling. You wish you brought a gun with you. That way you wouldn’t have to use your hands for what you’ll do. You think about it first. Not if you’ll do it but how you’ll do it. You have a dagger. That’s all you have. You’ve brought it for emergencies but you didn’t think you’d actually have to use it.
It would have to be the most painless way possible.
“Lean forward,” you instruct the man in a low voice, completely dreading what you’re supposed to do.
The man, with all his strength left, removed himself from the wall. If you stab him repeatedly in the chest, he’d have to bleed out and die painfully longer. You have to strike somewhere else. His back was free for you to stab into. No matter how many deaths you’ve seen, it just doesn’t get easier. Especially if you’re the one to cause it.
This is the first kill. A mercy kill. You’re doing this man a favor but making a burden to yourself. You know that if you do this, you’ll have to remember him for the rest of your life and somehow regret it. You weren’t a monster. You have darkness inkling inside of you that you don’t understand but you were still human.
“T-thank you,” he was able to say as he spluttered blood onto the pavement. Tears well up in your eyes and your nostrils flare up as you take a deep breath.
Blocking your thoughts away, you strike your blade unto his back, just above his shoulder blade, severing the spinal cord. You remember this one lecture in med school where someone asked where would be the most painless way to stab someone to death out of sheer curiosity. This was the answer.
You watch as his body falls sideways when you pull out your dagger, his blood painting the cemented ground and your hand. You wipe your hunting blade on his clothes and put it back on the strap of your leg.
When death comes to collect him, his hands relax and their contents fall. Something scrunched up fell out of the hand without the gun, the one he pointed your dagger with. You pick it up and straighten it. It was a picture of him and a child. He was a father.
Does that mean that child is dead? A father wouldn’t kill himself knowing he has a daughter back home. But would he? It’s possible. You don’t even know the name of this man. You don’t know what kind of person he is, much less a father. Sighing, you pick up his gun next. It was a Pistol. You could keep it but it was useless. Where would you get—
Oh.
For the second time in a few minutes, you were dumbstruck. Even if it was pointless, you couldn’t help but check the gun just to be sure. And you were glad you did. This gun… still had bullets, meaning you didn’t have to do it yourself.
Your grip on the gun tightened, feeling a bit betrayed by this man. He hadn’t asked you to kill him because he was incapable and out of bullets. He asked you to do it because he was a coward to finish it himself.
Feeling a bit drained because of the revelations, you decide to head back to the apartment, carrying the gun in your hand.You push open the door, knowing you’ve left it unlocked.
“I’m back,” you announced to not alarm your companion in the house. Chishiya was already in your line of sight, sitting on the couch which can be seen directly from the door. He wasn’t sitting there earlier. Was he waiting for you?
Lifting his head from the book, he takes in your appearance. There was blood that splattered over you. Not to mention your hand that was still covered in blood and holding a loaded gun. He raises a brow as if waiting for an explanation. You shake your head, not wanting to talk about it.
“It’s nothing I couldn’t handle,” you press and head to the room to clean yourself.
When you’ve cleaned yourself and changed your clothes, you stare at the gun on your bedside table. You sat down on the side of the bed, slouching, and then completely lying down and staring at the ceiling. You shouldn’t feel this way. You still helped the man. But still, you couldn’t help but feel a little bit betrayed. Maybe that’s just how it is. This is how people are. In the end, he chose to die no matter who did it or how it happened. It’s fine to feel upset. But what happened already happened.
Chishiya strides into the room, standing beside you and looking down at you. You groan, turning to your side to not see him. “Go away,” you order weakly.
You’d rather not tell him what happened. This will go away in a few days. But for now, your heart is too heavy to do anything else. So, for now, you hope Chishiya leaves it alone.
“I’ll join a Diamonds game.”
You scoff. “I said I’m fine—wait, what?” You sat up on the bed in disbelief. That’s what he was going to say? He wasn’t even going to check up on you?
“You’re staying here. You need more rest,” he adds.
You shake your head. “What? Are you kidding? No!”
He stares at you, giving you that nonchalant expression again. This was non-negotiable. He really didn’t want you anywhere near the Diamonds game.
“I’ve won a Diamonds game once.” It was true. Your first game was a Diamond. You were capable of a Diamonds game. Just because you threw away medicine doesn’t mean you were not smart. “What if only one survives? That’s not limited to a Hearts game, you know?”
You couldn’t answer.
“I’ll go,” he repeats. “Stay here.”
“When?” You ask him, lips jutting out almost into a pout. Your frown and scrunched-up forehead should tell him that you still don’t agree with this. “Tomorrow.”
You put your head down. If he’s going to join a game, you couldn’t just wait around here for him to come home. It’s going to make you officially go insane, being alone here in Borderlands.
You’ve never been alone since you met Usagi. Ever since you met her, you couldn’t believe you found an actual pure person here. She was a good friend and just like she’s done for Arisu, she’s the reason why you’re still alive and fighting for yourself.
It was time to join a game by yourself again.
“Fine,” you say without looking at him, fronting how you’re just agreeing with him but already decided that you’ll leave once he’s out of sight.
He doesn’t say anything and just walks out of the room, finishing the conversation.
You gave Chishiya the silent treatment the whole night. Were you sulking? Maybe. But you can’t really blame him. You were just upset. Was that a crime? You can be upset right? A person doesn’t have to be understanding every time. When you woke up, he was still beside you, staring at you with those deep brown eyes. Why is he looking at you like this?
“What?” you deadpanned.
“I’ll come back.” It wasn’t to assure you. It wasn’t a promise. It was simply a statement. He’ll come back. He’s sure of it. You trust him, yes. But maybe the reason you’re upset was because of something else. Worry? But not just for him. For him and yourself.
What if you don’t come back from the game you’re joining? That would be a shame. He won’t even know and just find you gone. But he won’t allow you. So if you don’t allow him now, you’d be a hypocrite.
“I know,” you answer softly, laying your armor down, and giving up the fight. He sits up on the bed, tugging on his white jacket that was folded by his bedside table and wearing it. It was cute to you how he still wears it.
“We have many days left on our visa. Does it have to be today?” You ask him, sitting up too.
“I want to clear the games as fast as possible,” he answers.
You understand that he wants to clear the Diamond games himself. What for? Absolutely nothing but curiosity and interest. He finds them fun and challenging even if his life was on the line. Sometimes, you think you worry more about his life than he does.
He knows he’s clever. You know that too. But sometimes, he really needs to realize that he isn’t immortal or anything. You sigh. “A game could take days. What do I do here?”
“Rest. Did you forget you have an injured leg?” He was putting on his shoes now, turning his head for a second to give you a look.
“No. But it’s fine now.” You really did feel better about your leg. “I want to look for the others.”
“When I come back.” He refuses again and stands up, ready for his day. You poked your cheek with your tongue. He really doesn’t want you out of this house, does he?
The rest of the day goes by quietly. He planned to leave in the afternoon. So, you still had a meal with him before he left. Chishiya leaving was uneventful. He didn’t kiss you goodbye or offer you any words of assurance. He just… left. However, he did remind you to rest.
But rest, you didn’t.
You gave Chishiya 30 minutes before you left. It was 30 minutes for him to get far enough for you not to see him outside. It was getting dark and cold. You’ve decided to put on a hoodie, covering your sports bra. You slung the sword Kuina gave you over your shoulder and put your dagger back in its sheath that was attached to a wrap over your leggings. You figured that the gun might come in handy to you if you ever come face to face with the King of Spades. So, you took that too, putting it inside your small belt bag.
You head over to the nearest Spades game, knowing it will be a long walk.
You were about 45 minutes away from the apartment and looking for a working car. However, you were failing. Every car out here is trashed. Plus, you weren’t very knowledgeable about fixing them up.
So you had no choice but to walk.
Getting a bit tired, you decide to sit down on the sidewalk.
However, not even five minutes of your resting have passed, you hear a scream. And then gunshots. Not just any gunshots. Rifles.
You immediately stand up, hearing that dreadful sound could only mean one thing.
And then you see the woman screaming, running with a few people behind her.
The King of Spades was here.
You get on your feet, hearing and seeing his blimp in the sky. Your sneaker-clad feet pounded against the cemented ground, breathing steadily as your lungs pumped. Fuck. You can’t face him alone.
You just ran, always choosing the safest option of direction while avoiding the gunshots. One direction led you to another then another, until you lost sight of the Spades game’s blimp. You were forced to go the other direction to another game.
You ran and ran until you didn’t hear the gunshots anymore. Then you see it. A blimp for another game that wasn’t a Spades or Diamonds. It wasn’t your target but it also wasn’t Chishiya’s.
Can you do it?
You don’t know which is more depressing: you ending up in a Hearts game or the grey walls of Teio Prison.
PUT ON A COLLAR AND GO UPSTAIRS TO THE CENTRAL GUARDROOM
There were two collars left on the table. Shit. It’s the exploding kind of Heart game, huh?
With a frown, you get one of the collars and clasp it around your neck. It makes a blip sound and some kind of shuffling sound. What could that be? Whatever it is, you know it’s no good.
Sighing, you make your way to the central guardroom, taking all your time in the world and observing the dark penitentiary. It’s giving you the creeps. You thought about what might have you waiting here. A Hearts game in prison? You really should’ve joined a Spade game. Man, fuck the King of Spades. This is all his fault. You just hope that Chishiya is doing well at a Diamon—
Chishiya?
As soon as you lift your head from looking at the stairs you were climbing, your line of sight catches that damned white jacket and white hair. What was he doing here? Didn’t he say he’d join a Diamonds game?
You didn’t let the shock show through your movements or countenance. Instead, you turn to your right and lock your eyes with him as you stand over the nearest wall from the stairs.
Everyone was reserved and kept themselves at a distance from others. It wouldn’t look good if you just walked over to him like old buddies at a fair. It’s better to be strangers. But oh, he was mad.
With the way his brows were slightly furrowed and his jaw was clenched, you try not to avoid his gaze and cower right there and then. Beside him, the agitated man in overalls follows Chishiya’s gaze over to you and then he whispers something to him. This made you look away, afraid he’ll know of your relations. While you busy yourself with observing the other players, you’re sure Chishiya made up a lie about you.
You hear soft steps on the staircase and you know that the game is about to start. You notice that their feet were intentionally light. There was only one collar left downstairs. The person going up should be the last player.
He stops right at the end of the stairs, looking around at all the players who were avoiding his gaze. Well, except you and Chishiya. Lastly, his gaze lands on you who was right beside him. The corner of his lips curled up into a subtle sinister smirk. You raise a brow, tilting your head to the side. You already don’t like this guy. You poked your cheek with your tongue and crossed your arms, about to address his condescending stare when the screen attached to the wall lights up, indicating the game is starting.
DIFFICULTY LEVEL
Jack of Hearts
The odd man’s eyes stray from yours when the automated voice is heard. You both look at the screen and listen attentively.
GAME SOLITARY
CONFINEMENT
Rules:
Guess the card suit that appears on the back of your collar. However, you may not look at the symbol yourself. This game is about how much you can trust one another.
The time limit is one hour per round.
In the final five minutes, enter the cell and state your symbol.
When the time limit reaches zero, your collar will reset and change for each round.
Beware that your opponent, the Jack of Hearts is hidden among you.
Looking at your symbol through reflection is not allowed.
Players may not use weapons or violence to kill fellow players.
GAME OVER If you do not guess your correct symbol, your collar will explode.
GAME CLEAR
You win when the Jack of Hearts dies.
As the other players react to the rules and other details of the game, you are left to think for yourself. There’s no limit of hours to this game which means that betrayal is inevitable if we want to get out of these depressing walls. Someone has to lie to the Jack, kill him, and clear this game. Anyone could be the Jack, even Chishiya.
The game will now commence.
ROUND ONE
It’s complete silence as the buzzer rings throughout the penitentiary, indicating the start of the timer for an hour. The players are eyeing each and every one, probably looking for a trustworthy face to dictate their suits and fate. At least, now you know that Chishiya wouldn’t lie to you about your suit. Should you just go ahead and partner up with him? It shouldn’t look suspicious, right?
Some players began to partner up as you still stand like a wallflower, watching as they form groups.
“So, the 20 of us need to eliminate each other until we somehow figure out who the Jack of Hearts is.” A tall man in corporate attire speaks out loud, speaking to no one in particular beside the first two guys who decided to partner up. “What makes you think that anyone is trustworthy?”
The two guys who were just eager to tell each other’s suit began to grow wary, stepping away from each other hastily. Your brow furrows at this man. He was right but his aura exudes something dark and clouded, just like the man beside you who last joined the game. Could either of them be the jack?
An arrogant-looking bald guy in chains that previously stood in the middle of the guardroom makes his way in your direction. Your senses are heightened, alert for any cause of disturbance. However, he shifts his way to your right, heading to the nervous-looking man in a blue checkered shirt with a smirk.
He corners him, no doubt going to pressure him into telling him his suit. He’s a bully that found a mouse to play around with. That’s a wrong move. You watch from your peripheral as the man quivers and shakes from the bald man. “Tsk,” you couldn’t help but react distastefully. Thankfully, the bald man didn’t notice. It was taking everything in you not to intervene.
The man beside you, however, hears your displeased reaction. Unfortunately, this puts his attention back on you. So you speak, gathering it’d be better to speak to someone, at least. If he was Jack, then he’d want to hear your next words.
“This game…” you utter in a low voice, wanting him to be the only one who hears. “Isn’t going to be cleared through shit like that.”
The other players began to form a large group with the girl in a blue dress leading it. From the looks of it, this girl is also not to be trusted. Getting involved with a large group offers a far larger chance of betrayal. Especially with one person leading it and others blindly following whatever this person’s decision may be.
“Forcing,” you refer to the bald man who was still bullying the blue-checkered shirt guy into telling him his suit. “Control,” you refer to the girl who has now gathered most of the players. She’s only put herself more at risk now that she aimed for control. Things could easily turn around if they don’t like the way how she handles things. And you could already tell. From here, she reeks of being fake and two-faced. That group should be the last choice for you.
“This game is about trust.” You sigh. It seemed fairly easy but you could already tell that this game is going to be a messy representation of humanity. It seemed so fitting—a Hearts game of this difficulty being a face card.
It’s a clever game, you have to admit. By now, every player in Borderland knows that you should never willingly enter a Hearts game with someone you want to get out of this world with. But this one puts you in a position of needing to have that someone with you in order to survive this game. No matter what, as long as you have one player you have here who you know you can trust, you’ll be able to walk out of here.
You walk off, not waiting for the guy’s response. There was one hour for each round. You’re sure you can find a partner a little later if Chishiya won’t agree. It’s only the first round and you don’t think even the Jack of Hearts would start killing now.
For now, you really need to see the food supply they were so proud of. As you head downstairs, you realize that the guy beside you followed you as you register his footsteps when you snapped out of your deep thoughts about the game. You stop in your tracks, waiting for the man to address what the hell is he after. Did he want to be partners? Well, you don’t really think that that’s a good idea for you.
“You’re that L/N.”
You turn around, looking at the source of the voice and the person who seems to know of your heritage. Without the thought of Chishiya startling you, you’re able to focus clearly on the man in front of you. He looked not older than you and Chishiya, a little taller than the both of you too. He was wearing a blue long-sleeved shirt with an inner white shirt. His hair is dark and his eyes were tired, bags under them, and yet he did not look as tired. Instead, his eyes glimmer of malice and unexplainable darkness as he gives you a smirk.
“And who are you?” You question the man in front of you. You can’t quite put your finger on it but the man looked familiar—like you’ve seen him before Borderland.
“Banda Sunato.” Again, familiar. You’ve heard of it, you’re sure. Was he famous for something? A family friend? A rich person? You really should've paid attention to the television more.
Something tells you not to trust this man. This was a Hearts game, after all. No one could be trusted. Yet, if you partner yourself with Chishiya, who knows where that will lead? It’s unsafe and he’s a little mad right now. Truthfully, you are too. What can you say? You both are a stubborn bunch.
“Banda? It’s familiar,” you truthfully ask him for some reason.
“Should be. I was in the news for a while.” The smirk hasn’t been wiped off his face. From then on, you were sure. Just like Niragi, this man is bad news.
So you turn around again, ready to walk off and head to the food supply. However, a hand on your shoulder stops you. A glimpse of white flashes your eyes from above and you look up for a few seconds, meeting Chishiya’s eyes who were watching you from the floor above, leaning against a wall beside the man dressed in a yellow striped shirt and denim overalls. His jaw is clenched, lips tight, and even from his crossed arms, you see the tight fists forming from his hands. My, he’s almost making a frown too.
You don’t turn around to face Banda again but you break eye contact with Chishiya. You wait for him to speak and look at his frail hands on your shoulder. His hands are gentle, the perfect way to lure you in. You can see from the way his hands looked rough yet delicate—this man cannot fight. Worst comes to worst, you can take him down. But that didn’t matter. This is a Hearts game which means that most of these players are Hearts specialists, no doubt him being one too. You have to be smart about this. You can’t punch your way out of this one.
“I’m a serial killer,” he adds.
You raise a brow, slowly turning your whole body to face him again. How could he just throw that out of nowhere like it’s a well-sought and respected occupation? And then you remember. Banda Sunato. It was what? One or two weeks? He was all that the news held. He was known to have murdered about four people, specifically women. A real psychopath heading for death row. It gives you the chills, having a real-life murderer standing in front of you and taking an interest in you.
Does this man scare you? Maybe a little. Should you partner up with him? The normal and sane response would be no but there’s this irrational thought that keeps persuading you that maybe you can actually get through the game with this criminal.
If what Asaki said in the Queen of Clubs game was real then it really is up to the citizens to design games. A serial killer designing a game inside Teio Prison. It seemed to fit like a puzzle that he would be the Jack of Hearts.
That’s how you know that it’s possible that he might not be it. It was too easy and too obvious.
“Are you asking me to partner up with you?” You ask with a poker face, jutting your chin up to compensate for the height difference. It’s funny how a murderer was asking you to trust him. It has to be the most stupid insinuation you have heard in your life.
“I agree with what you said back there.” He answers, referring to what you said before walking off. “So I’m telling you who I am. It’s your choice, hospital princess. Will you trust a serial killer in this world?”
Right now, you badly wanted to look up at Chishiya who is no doubt watching from the floor above. You want him to give you some kind of advice or answer for you. But you know he won’t. You’re on your own for this one. You sigh, mirroring his smirk and tilting your head. Don’t let him think he bothers you. “Can I think about it? I’m really hungry.”
“Of course,” he replies. And with one nod, you walk away from him, still feeling the serial killer’s eyes on you until you get away from the center of the lower floor.
The cafeteria was indeed filled with shelves of food and drinks. As you stare at a wall of food, you are overwhelmed with the choices, not being used to seeing multiple foods that are actually still edible and you didn’t have to check their expiration date. You roam your eyes around, looking for something good to eat.
And then you spot that yellow bag of biscuits. Chishiya’s favorite. Seeing it made you grin to yourself. Oh, he’s gonna be so happy. Too bad you didn’t really like those cookies.
There were ramen cups and instant rice too but you figure that a snack would suffice so you grab yourself a packed strawberry cake roll and a chocolate drink. You missed sweets so much. You’re tired of eating instant noodles and whatever canned goods you could find in convenience stores.
There were a few people in the cafeteria. You didn’t like any of them as you stared at them. They stare at you too, probably working out if you were the Jack of Hearts. You give them a smile, one that is confident. Then you give them a nod, one that is out of respect. And then you leave the cafeteria.
You ate the sliced cake roll while walking around the penitentiary, observing the people and keeping the chocolate drink in your hoodie’s pocket.
No one seemed like a safe option. The big group, the bald man and his mouse, the couple in business attire, Chishiya, and Banda. These are your options.
And finally, you approach Chishiya and his partner who awfully reminds you of Minions because of his outfit. “Hey,” you talk to the overalls guy, purposefully ignoring Chishiya. “Do you guys have room for one more?”
The guy stutters, looking over to Chishiya for some kind of confirmation. Wow, he already trusts him this much?
“We’re part of this group already,” Chishiya answers for him and points at the blue-dress girl. So they joined the big group? Huh. You wonder why. You know he knows that big groups are dangerous. Once one person’s trust is lost, they’ll go down like dominoes.
It doesn’t matter, then. You only need Chishiya’s trust. But it seems that he doesn’t want you to join him here.
“Huh,” your reply now was for Chishiya. It’s crazy. He’s driving you insane. Is he still mad that you joined a game? If he cares so much about you then why won’t he just tell you your suit and—you don’t know, keep you alive?
You place the last roll of cake in your mouth, chewing in front of the two guys. You give a nod at Chishiya who stares at you with curled-up lips, anticipating your next move.
This is dangerous, what you’ve decided to do.
You could ask Chishiya again or his partner what your suit was and join their big group. But you don’t want to.
You take a step back and Chishiya’s smirk drops. He wasn’t expecting that. He thought you’d try and persuade him to let you join his partnership with Ippei.
A strange feeling tugs your heart as you walk away from Chishiya. His presence is comforting. It calms you down in this game. And yet, you are walking away from him—from both your safety.
You aim to find the Jack of Hearts yourself. And you won’t be able to do that hiding from Chishiya’s back.
As if on cue, Banda walks into the central guardroom with another guy behind him. He was tall and had this fringe covering almost half of his face. So he already found a partner after all.
“Replaced me so quickly?” You ask with a smirk as you punch your straw in the chocolate drink.
“So you’ve decided.” His voice is as sinister as his whole being. It scares you. A lot. But you think you can trust him. You think.
“They all seemed… boring,” you answer truthfully.
The man behind him watches you carefully and you give him a slight wave. “What’s up? I’m Y/N.”
“Matsushita,” he replies simply.
You turn around, pulling off your hoodie and hair away from your nape.
“Heart.” It was Banda who answered, then it was confirmed by Matsushita.
You ask them if you need to tell them theirs but they said there was no need. You shrug, they must’ve already told each other.
And so you were in Banda’s group. This is gonna be hella interesting.
You sit by the two guys as the hour passes, watching the other players interact and talk to each other. You don’t doubt that Banda told you your real suit. The killings won’t start yet. Not in the first round.
“Are you not going to doubt me?” Banda asks you as you sit next to each other against a wall. Matsushita stands beside you, no doubt listening to your conversation now.
This Matsushita—you don’t like him. He seemed quietly arrogant. Those are the worst kind of assholes.
“No,” you admit. “You’re not going to lie to me yet.”
“You still don’t trust me?” He asks but he knows the answer to that. “Then why would you join me? Your life is in my hands now.”
Your mind brings you back to a certain blonde-haired man. His smirks and his clever words. “I like my men a little deranged,” you answer with a shrug.
There was silence between you for a few seconds. The sound of your drinking is the only thing heard. Although you’ve long strayed your eyes from Banda, you still feel his eyes on you. He was thinking deeply, calculating you like a math problem.
“You don’t like your life outside Borderlands,” he concluded. You pause, turning your head to look at the psychopath. What was he saying? “You’re reckless but smart. You know what you’re doing here. And yet you still paired up with me knowing I’ve murdered for nothing but pleasure. What makes you think I won’t kill you?”
You scoff. “You won’t kill me in the first round. There needs to be some kind of push before the killing starts. Like a hand triggering dominos.” He listens to you and doesn’t answer for a while, thinking while a sinister smile spreads on his face. You know you’re right.
“Just as I thought,” he answers before standing up.
The timer turns zero as he stands up and the voice of the game speaks again.
“It is time to give your answer. Please enter a solitary confinement of your choosing.”
You walked side by side with Banda, stopping at a door next to his. From your peripheral, you could see that Chishiya chose a door two doors down from yours. You’re pretty sure you’re safe for the first round but you can’t help but panic.
You enter a cell. It’s small and even more depressing than the outside.
“Please give your answer.”
The speed of your heart beating rises, constricting the air in your lungs. An exploding neck should be one of the most gruesome ways to die in Borderlands.
You calmly close your eyes, tuning out the panicked thoughts in your head.
“Heart.”
Silence.
A rush of relief passes you. Just as you thought. No one is dying in the first hour.
You step out of the cell at the same time as everybody else does. Banda’s eyes were already on you when you looked at him, giving you the same sinister stare. You wink at him in return before walking off to follow the other players, not even staying to see his reaction.
“Round 2 begins now.”
In the center guardroom, the big group began to thank each other for being honest. You sat on your spot before, in the middle of a sitting Banda and a standing Matsushita.
“I wonder how long is this going to go on for?”
Matsushita verbalizes the question in your mind. If there’s no trigger, the real game wouldn’t start. But it has to be soon. If not and all the players really are going to be honest with each other, then soon we’d be stuck in this prison in an endless cycle. Even if the food supply is abundant, each round lasts an hour. It’d be exhausting. One can’t get much sleep in an hour. We’d go insane in these dry walls.
“Either the Jack will start to kill or someone afraid of the Jack will start to kill. As Y/N said earlier, until a trigger happens, this will never end.” Banda’s the one who answered Matsushita’s question.
Before you could give your thoughts, a body slams to the floor next to Banda. It was the boy in the blue-checkered shirt, being thrown off by the bald man in chains.
“I told you to give me the answer!” The arrogant man screams in frustration. Everyone goes quiet as they watch the situation unfolds. This man couldn’t be more stupid, thinking he would win by using his fists over his partner.
He was about to attack the man with a kick but you move faster than light, standing and throwing a kick to the man’s stomach before he could hurt the boy, sending him flying and landing on his bottom and away from you. You don’t know why you did it. You couldn’t stop yourself from saving him. Maybe it has become all too pathetic or too painful to watch. At times like these, you really miss Arisu and Usagi. You know they would’ve done the same. Maybe even better than you.
“What the fuck?!” The man reacts, staring at you with glaring wide eyes.
From behind you, Banda moves to the boy on the floor, whispering in his ear. You hear it all clearly. While he was asking if the boy was alright, he whispers that he should tell him his suit is a Club.
It was the wrong answer.
The man quickly stands up, glaring at you along the way. He heads for the boy again and you wanted to interrupt if it weren’t for you catching Chishiya’s gaze of disapproval and Banda holding your arm. You glance at Banda's hand on your arm and he lets go, walking back to his spot while the bald man begins holding the boy by his hair.
Don’t get involved, you could almost hear Chishiya’s voice in your head. It’s what he would say to you in this situation.
“Looks to me that you want another beating.” He punches the boy in the face and you put your head down.
“Give me the answer!” He raises his fist, threatening to throw another punch if the boy doesn’t speak.
“C-club!” The boy stuttered out an answer.
“Huh?!” The man wants him to repeat it louder.
“Club!” he answers, firmer this time yet he still closes his eyes, readying himself for another punch.
The fist doesn’t come. Instead, the man taps his face like he’s a good dog. “Don’t wait so long next time.” And he lets go of the boy’s hair roughly, making the boy lean on his palms to support himself again on the floor. Then he collapses his body on the floor, curling up and turning into a sobbing mess.
The man passed by Chishiya and his partner, walking through the other players and all of you could see clearly.
The bald man’s symbol is a Diamond.
“It’s the trigger,” Banda whispers in your ear, making the hair at the back of your head rise. Ah. That’s why he manipulated the boy into saying the false suit. It was to finally start the game.
It didn’t matter now. All is said and done. The boy lied in front of everybody by choice. The wall of trust is broken.
The game is finally starting… and you couldn’t help but think that it’s your doing.
Just as expected, the lies and mischief started when the bald man’s neck blew up. Everyone is scared, wondering if they’re going to be next.
To make matters worse, the big group recruited the boy who first lied. You can tell that Urumi, the girl in the blue dress, wanted to eliminate him in case he was the Jack. Having such a mischievous leader, that group is going to end up in flames.
“You’re no princess, after all.” You don’t know if Banda is talking about your eating habits or show of skill in the previous round.
Still, you glare at Banda as you eat potato chips this time around, craving something salty. There was silence as you two sat side by side in the central guardroom. Matsushita has gone to the cafeteria to get some snacks of his own.
You wonder what Chishiya was doing right now. He’s in the cafeteria with the big group. You’re incredibly bored.
“Underground fighter,” you suddenly say. Banda doesn’t answer but you know he’s intrigued and listening.
“I’m an underground fighter,” you finish your sentence.
“I see,” he replies as if that answers a lot of questions for him. “Blood, sweat, and glory. It appeals to you.”
You nod. “I’m a Spades player.”
“Then you’ve definitely fought harder here than back there in the real world.”
He was right. You thought back to the games you were in—all the games where you had to fight for yourself. It was life or death and yet it gave you that feeling of rush. To put your life on the line gives you an unexplainable feeling that you loved and craved.
“You crave death.” His sudden words make you freeze. “You’re not afraid of being hurt because you want it. You like it more when it’s about to kill you. Because you want it, don’t you? The reason you’re so reckless is that you have nothing to lose. It doesn’t matter if you die today or tomorrow. It’s why you partnered up with me. Because you’re more at risk with me.”
His face has become awfully close to yours, inches away. He hadn’t put on a smirk this time. Instead, he stares at your soul like he’s known you all your life or he can read you like an open book. Unlike Chishiya, you found nothing but an abyss in his soulless eyes.
Was it true? Is the reason why you loved fighting so much… because you’re suicidal? You thought about it a lot. That maybe one night, you might just meet your match and finally die in that ring. No one will know. You’ll just disappear into thin air. That was how the underground worked. It was a thought that scared you but somehow calmed you.
If this doesn’t work today, then you’ll just die. But every night, you prove yourself wrong. You win. Was it just a battle with yourself that you deserve to win with the risk of dying?
“What shall you do?” He tilts his head to the side. “I think I plan to keep you alive until the end.”
The shake in your eyes is probably noticeable now. So you furrow your brows. This man is not the Jack of Hearts. He wants to win this as much as you do. But why? You assume that this is just fun for him, seeing so many deaths.
Fine, you’ll play the game.
“I want to live,” you firmly say.
“Why?” He asks. “Why do you want to live?”
It was almost the same question Chishiya asked you back at The Beach. While Chishiya asked you what was so valuable about your life in the real world, Banda asked you why you want to live. It’s just two questions—two questions that are somehow related to each other. Unfortunately, you don’t have the answer to that yet. Life has never appealed to you. It brought you more bad than good and yet you want to live. Do you deserve to? Probably not. But you don’t care. As long as you can, you will fight to live.
“So I can live freely. Here.” A lie. But you sensed that that’s what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t much of a secret. If you’re a criminal on trial, which is a better world to be in? A boring, stupid world where you’re on death row or a cruel one where people die every day? Where everyone is equal? Where it doesn’t matter how rich or poor you are or what you’ve done or what you haven’t done? Where all that matters is you play the game and survive? You… what would you choose?
He seemed satisfied with your answer, pulling away and looking ahead with his hands on his knees again. “I think… this world is a perfect one.”
You couldn’t believe it. Did you just agree to an invitation to live in Borderlands? Maybe that’s really how this all ends. When you win the games, maybe it will just be your turn to make them. And then what? Maybe this is really Hell and you’re supposed to die here.
If you’re a citizen, then you would probably work on the Spades games. Banda would definitely be in charge of Hearts. What about Chishiya? He’ll be in Diamonds, for sure. Is it really possible? A world where you and Chishiya could rule and be free?
You shake the thoughts away. No. This can’t be it. If that were to happen, then you’re not free. You won’t ever be. Not here. You thought back to that man in the tunnel and what he made you do. You don’t want any of that any more than necessary. You won’t have blood on your hands anymore.
And just like that, an agreement is made between you and the serial killer.
You’ll work together to know more about the citizens. Meaning, you have to catch the Jack of Hearts and interrogate him into telling you more.
For the next round, the boy in the blue-checkered shirt did not survive the lies of the big group. As expected, he isn’t the Jack of Hearts.
You were getting some snacks in the cafeteria with Matsushita, even getting some food for Banda. You haven’t seen him eat at all the whole game. Are psychopaths incapable of knowing when to eat too?
You notice Matsushita getting the same brand of biscuits that he has been getting each round. Were those really good? You know you’ve tried them once before and there wasn’t really anything special about it. Nah. There was something off about it. How could he just keep getting the same snacks?
Chishiya’s group is mostly at the cafeteria during the rounds. Though, instead of sitting with them, he’s usually at a table beside them with the minion guy whose name you learned is Ippei. He’s just there, eating away his damned biscuits. Sometimes, he would even put four pieces into his mouth while staring into your eyes. Damn, he really missed them, huh?
From what you’ve eavesdropped on, things are starting to get messy with the big group. The blue-dressed girl is starting to turn on her members one by one. Now, you realize that the sole purpose of her making the group is to gain control over who dies first. As if she could get the Jack that way.
For the next few rounds, they fall like dominos. Their pictures are blacked out on the screen as if they’re players on a game show. They were visibly and loudly stressed, the members of the big group. Soon, they’ll be out like a light.
By round nine, you noticed that Chishiya and Ippei were somewhat separated from the group but are still there, opting to not include themselves in their arguments. He really just needs Ippei, you think.
Banda has been keeping you alive so far. And you don’t think he’s been lying to you so far in any of your conversations alone with him. However, it’s Matsushita that has been suspicious.
You have a feeling that he’s planning to eliminate Banda somehow. But you aren’t sure how. Does he think Banda’s the Jack of Hearts?
And those biscuits. You’ve figured it out by round six. He’s communicating with the girl in office attire, the one with the boyfriend who was keeping her away from all the other players for protection. Yaba and Kotoko are their names if you remember them right from the screen.
If the girl’s communicating with Matsushita then that means that she doesn’t trust her partner. From afar, Matsushita and Kotoko looked awfully submissive to their partners, Yaba and Banda. So, they’ve been scheming, acting like they’re being controlled.
Then it was just seven of you. You, Banda, Matsushita, Yaba, Kotoko, Chishiya, and Ippei.
Ippei has been distressed the whole game. Unlike the people here who have been tainted by the games, he was pure. You’re glad Chishiya found a partner like him.
But he’s wavering. And not in the way the others wavered into lying to save themselves. In fact, the boy looked disgusted with all the lies and killing. Just how did he survive all those games before?
“Y/N.”
An agitated beckoning whisper pulls you back from your worry for Chishiya’s well-being and partner. It was Matsushita, looking around like he was wary of someone.
Huh. He’s going to try and eliminate me.
“What’s wrong?” You ask, feigning worry.
“Did you know that Banda’s a serial killer?” He asks like it’s new information.
You raise your brows and freeze from getting a snack on the shelf, turning your head to the man acting like you are in pure shock. “W-what?”
“Before Borderlands. In the real world, he’s a serial killer. I think we should eliminate him. He may be the Jack of Hearts.” He explains distraught.
Before you can react to his acting, Banda strides into the cafeteria. You shift and give the entering man a smirk.
“Got that thing you brought me last time?”
You nod and reach for the snack and throw it in his direction. He catches it with ease as it lands on his stomach.
“Let’s go back to the guardroom,” Banda says to both of you, taking a swift glance at Chishiya and his partner who was sitting on one of the tables as well.
You follow Banda closely, wanting so badly to take a glance at the man in the white jacket when you feel his burning gaze following you and Banda.
Chishiya’s all alone for the next round. You gathered that maybe Ippei couldn’t handle the mental pressure and eliminated himself because you don’t think that Chishiya would’ve given him the wrong answer when he needed him so much. He’s probably in the cafeteria all alone right now. Matsushita’s heading there right now to get his biscuits, leaving you alone with Banda just right outside the hall of the cafeteria.
You don’t know why but you feel like this is the final round.
Oddly, Banda’s keeping a close eye on you. You wonder if it’s because of him seeing you and Matsushita talking.
He put a hand in front of you when you wanted to follow Matsushita into the cafeteria. You hope that he doesn’t think you don’t trust him anymore.
“It’s him, isn’t it?”
You break the silence with a mutter. And then he smirks, confirming your question. Matsushita’s the Jack of Hearts. He was right there beside you all along.
You don’t say anything more, knowing that Matsushita’s about to come back any minute. You notice that Yaba gave Banda a glance when he passed. Either he finds Banda suspicious or they’ve been communicating too.
By now, it’s you who’s not sure if you can still trust him.
“I won’t lie to you.” Banda is the one who speaks now, still not looking at you. “You don’t have to worry.”
It was oddly comforting that you almost forgot that you were talking to a psychopath who kills women, of all people. However, you stayed quiet and nodded.
Matsushita’s taking a bit long taking his biscuits and you know that Chishiya must’ve spoken to him in there somehow. He doesn’t have a partner, after all. Someone has to tell him about his suit. You want to do it for him but Banda’s keeping an eye on you.
When Matsushita appears again, Banda asks him what happened.
He fidgets on his biscuits packet and then answers. “The Jack of Hearts. I think that it’s that guy.” Then he points to Chishiya’s picture on the screen.
“I thought he was suspicious too,” Banda replies while looking up at the screen.
“Hm. He did seem quiet through all of this.” You add. There was no point in denying Chishiya being suspicious. You nod at Matsushita as if complimenting him on his observance. But honestly, you want to punch his stupid fringe away from his eye.
“Well, don’t worry.” He looks at you and Banda proudly. “He’ll die this round. I promise you that.”
“Good,” you tell him and give him a smile but your blood was boiling deep inside. You wanted to punch him. He definitely lied to Chishiya about his suit back there.
Fuck. How will you save him? How will you protect him? Think. I have to get out of Banda’s sight.
“Let’s tell each other’s symbol then,” you suggest. “I’ll go first.”
You turn around, lowering your hood and parting your hair from the back. Again, it’s Banda who first speaks up.
“Club.”
When it was confirmed by Matsushita, he turned around. With Matsushita’s back turned to you and Banda, Banda gives you a glance and smirks. It was time.
“Spade,” Banda says.
You nod even if Matsushita couldn’t see it. “Spade,” you agree.
Then it was Banda’s turn.
This time, Matsushita’s the one giving you a look.
“Spade,” Matsushita claims.
You nod at Matsushita. “Spade.”
Banda turns around and looks at the two of you as if assessing your faces.
“Hm,” he hums. “I’m going to the restroom.”
Finally, you’re free of this psychopath.
“I’m going to get some snacks while you’re at it,” you reply.
You watch as Banda walks away and turns into a corner. Just as you were about to walk off, Matsushita pulled you to the side.
“You’re a Heart. Banda lied to you.” He whispers in your ear.
So his plan is to kill all of you here.
You nod and thank him. “Good. Thanks.” You whisper back and head to the cafeteria.
However, just as you were about to leave the guardroom where Matsushita also is, Chishiya walks in. Fuck. How were you going to tell him his suit if he wasn’t there anymore?
You’re sure he still doesn’t know it. Matsushita lied to him and you’re sure Kotoko wouldn’t tell him anything. It’s up to you to give him some kind of sign.
You take a swift glance at his nape. Diamond. How fitting for him.
In the cafeteria, you got yourself some sweets and a chocolate drink again. There has to be some kind of sign you could give him. You look through the different kinds of snacks, wondering if you could sneak a tiny piece of paper into them. But that’d be too obvious. And you’d have to give him the snack.
Then Matsushita’s biscuits catch your eye.
Hm. You’re sure Chishiya would’ve noticed it too, right?
Hastily, you grab the pack of biscuits with the color of the wrap corresponding to his symbol and exchange it with your cake. Just as Matsushita and Kotoko have been doing.
Walking into the central guardroom, you munch on the cookies loudly and everyone turns their head to you, Chishiya included.
Please get it.
Banda’s already there beside Matsushita and he was staring at you like a hawk. When you approach them, you wave the biscuits in front of Matsushita’s face.
“Yo, I tried your biscuits and I can see why you can’t get enough of them,” you say and bring another piece into your mouth. “Hey Banda, do you think we can get some of these supplies if we win?”
“Maybe,” Banda actually replies to the stupid question.
You hum, nodding while you chew your food.
Your palms were cold inside the pockets of your jacket as you stand in front of the cell’s door. You’re a Club. Not a heart. It’s okay. You’ll be fine.
Banda gives you one last glance with his dark eyes before opening his cell door and getting in. When he’s out of your view, Matsushita takes your line of sight. He gives you a nod as if you’re really partners and has deceived Banda.
You noticed that he hasn’t even held his cell’s knob, waiting for you to get in. You sigh internally. You wanted to be the last one to get in and tell Chishiya his suit verbally.
However, Chishiya has already opened his cell and gone in. You close your eyes and lick your lips, suddenly anxious. The lights inside this penitentiary are starting to hurt your eyes. The walls are dim as the lights are. No doubt prisoners go insane.
Sighing, you open your cell and go in.
“Please give your answer.”
Who do you trust? Banda or Matsushita? The Jack of Hearts or a serial killer?
Well, if you die then you die.
“Club.”
A loud explosion is heard across the cells and your hands shot up to your neck. When it hits you that your neck is untouched and still very much attached to your body, you lean your back on the wall of the cell in relief. You’re alive. Banda hasn’t lied to you. Not even once.
Then who died?
Anxiously, you wait inside your cell as you hear a cell door creak open. You’re not getting out there yet. Not without knowing who’s out there.
A sinister laugh echoes through the halls and the cells. Matsushita. The Jack of Hearts. Has he thought he won?
Then another door opens. You wait patiently, hoping it’s Chishiya.
And then you hear that voice.
“I had a feeling you were the Jack of Hearts.”
Glee and relief rush through your veins and you smile with your head down. He’s alive, after all. That’s good.
“How did you—“ Matsushita is probably confused, thinking he successfully deceived everyone and won his own game.
“You teamed up with Banda from the start and he’s a murderer so it just made sense,” Chishiya continues.
“But Y/N teamed up with Banda too and she died,” he even tries to argue, thinking he really got you with his plan.
“Maybe. But Banda approached her first. You, however, approached him first and were moved by his little monologue. Still, I know you didn’t trust him. Not that fast.”
Then another cell opens. “Most people won’t even talk to a guy like me but you wanted to kill me. I could sense that in you right away.” It was Banda as you expected. “So I wanted to see if you were smart or just stupid or whether you were a true psychopath.”
“You mean…” You could sense the frightened tone in Matsushita’s voice, probably in disbelief. Still leaning against the wall and listening, you cross your arms and put a foot against the wall. You don’t want to come out yet. For some reason, it feels safer to be in isolation from those men.
“You thought you were controlling me this whole time but I was manipulating you into thinking that way. Ultimately, it was your huge superiority complex that gave you away.”
Banda’s voice got clearer by the last sentence which means he’s right outside your door.
“That kind of self-importance usually comes from being put into a special position—something that made you untouchable. In this case, it’s being chosen as the Jack,” Chishiya explains further.
And then your door opens, revealing you to the three men. You raise your head, finding that it was Banda who opened your cell. Banda gives you a proud look as you step out of your cell. Matsushita’s eyes widen at the sight of you alive and well. Behind him, Chishiya gives you a little wave.
“Sorry. We already exchanged symbols before the three of us did.” You tell Matsushita. Betrayal doesn’t feel so great now, doesn’t it?
“You guys are wrong. Banda’s the Jack of Hearts!” Matsushita points at Banda, looking stressed and agitated.
“Sorry, kid. It’s not Banda.” Yaba claims as he walks into the hall with his hands in his pockets. He must’ve slipped out of his cell as soon as the timer ended.
Matsushita’s lips tremble at the sight of another player he failed to kill. “You and Kotoko were communicating. I told Kotoko her symbol and yet she still died. Which meant that Kotoko was being manipulated by someone other than me.”
“Well then,” Matsushita nods, then points at Chishiya. “You should be accusing this guy.”
“Whenever I went to the cafeteria, you and Kotoko would be there, getting snacks at the same time.” Chishiya is quick to counterpoint. A smile spreads across your face. So he did notice. “And every time, you’d get the exact same kind of snack. You and Kotoko were secretly communicating in the cafeteria.”
“Both of you were just pretending that you were being controlled,” Chishiya concludes.
“There were four different flavors of the snack,” you add, inserting your hands inside your jacket pockets and pulling out the empty packet of the biscuits you’ve eaten for Chishiya. “You would confirm your symbols by checking the packaging, using those snacks as a code with each other.”
You shifted your gaze from Matsushita to Chishiya and smiled sweetly, waving the empty packet. “I knew you’d caught on pretty quickly, Shuntaro.”
Chishiya smiles back at you, raising a brow. “Yes. That’s how I got to know my symbol for this round. Thank you, Y/N.”
“W-what? You two knew each other?” Matsushita is yet again shocked at another deception. Even Banda raises his brow, gazing from Chishiya to you.
“Kinda. It’s complicated.” You answer with a smirk and then shrug, tilting your head.
Before the Jack of Hearts or Chishiya could react, Yaba speaks up again, reminding you to go back to the topic. “And then you told Kotoko to give me the wrong symbol. I really did trust her.” Yaba sighs. “Except at the end,” he finishes. He seemed really disappointed about it. Wow, he really planned to protect her till the end. It’s such a shame. But you understand Kotoko. You’d hate it too, the feeling of being controlled.
Matsushita is short of breath because of his anger. “When did the four of you start working together?”
“Well, the very first announcement said that this game is about how much we can trust one another. So we simply followed that principle.” As Yaba says that, Banda still has his eyes on you.
“In order to gain someone’s trust, you can’t control, manipulate, or guide them in any way. You can’t brainwash them or hypnotize them, lie to them, or instill fear.” Yaba states what you basically said to Banda at the beginning of the game as he walks and stops beside you and Banda.
“It’s called equality,” he finishes his monologue.
“Wait a second, how can you be sure that it’s me? The Jack of Hearts could easily be any of you guys.” He looks at each and every one of you. However, nobody listens to his attempt to save himself.
“Okay, maybe I did try to blame everything on you by setting you up, but look! That’s not enough. You don’t have proof that I’m the Jack of Hearts!”
“You sure about that?” Chishiya teases.
“Huh?” Banda bites his teasing, confused.
“Just think about it. If they suspected that you were the Jack, then why did you survive the last round? Why didn’t Banda and Y/N lie? Tell you the wrong thing? The reason that you’re still alive is that you’re the Jack.” As he explains, Chishiya walks closer to him. Matsushita’s eyes were drowning in realization.
“These guys planned to keep you alive because they decided they wanna get information out of you,” he whispers but it’s still loud enough for all of you to hear.
Matsushita turns to face the three of you in horror. Banda and Yaba begin to approach him. With Chishiya on his back and the two approaching him like predators targeting their prey, he was cornered.
“Round 14. Start.”
Stupidly though, he decides to run. He turns and pushes Chishiya out of the way, running in the opposite direction. It made Chishiya stumble but he was able to balance himself and stay on his feet. Banda looks over at you and you sigh.
You were obviously faster than the lanky arrogant guy, catching up with him before he could even get to half of the hall. You leap into the air and kick his back, sending his face to the floor. As he grunts in pain, you lift his head through his hair.
You drag him across the floor as he panics and screams. Pushing one of the cell doors open, you throw him inside, his body hitting the ground with a loud thud.
Yaba enters the cells first, taking off his coat and you stand on the side. Matsushita looks up at him, scared and weakened. Banda enters next, holding a shaver and a knife. You try not to react knowing what will happen next.
Banda gives you a smirk as you stand against the wall of the small confinement. “Thank you, darling.” He tilts his head while saying it and your face heats up, both a little frightened and surprised at the nickname.
“What are you doing?!” Matsushita cries.
Yaba began to tell him the reason why they were going to torture him. It was suddenly too crowded for four of you in one cell. Oh god. This is going to be gruesome. Do you have to stay here with them?
“Y/N,” Chishiya calls out your name from outside the cell. “Let’s go.”
You look at him and his face doesn’t look like it’s going to accept any answer other than yes. You look over to Matsushita who was shaking in fear. His eyes met yours and they were pleading for you to help him. You huff and look away.
“I’m sorry that we won’t be able to kill you.” Banda crouches down to become face-to-face with Matsushita. “But there are other ways to have fun.”
As Bands holds the blade against his face, you take it as an opportunity to slip out of the cell. Matsushita’s screams fill the halls of the penitentiary. You and Chishiya stood side by side outside the cell, listening to whatever information Banda and Yaba were getting out of him.
The splurts of blood and the scream for help by Matsushita made you squirm as you sat on the floor against the wall with Chishiya standing by your side. They didn’t get much out of him.
The torture lasted for an hour.
When it was time to give his symbol, Matsushita immediately said the wrong answer. Then, the game was cleared.
You and Chishiya walk together outside of the penitentiary, already having retrieved your weapons. It’s already morning. The two of you look up to the sky to see the Jack of Hearts’ blimp explode. This is the second game you’ve been in. How the hell did you even survive that without Chishiya telling you your suits?
Banda and Yaba were walking out of the penitentiary side by side before you and Chishiya could even get far from the prison.
Banda still had his eyes on you as he left Yaba and walked over in your direction. You stop, waiting for the serial killer, and see what he has to say. You grip the strap of the Katana’s sheath tighter to brace yourself for any attack, though you doubt that he would be able to attack you.
“My offer still stands.”
You don’t know what it is that makes you so intriguing to Banda but you were grateful that it kept you alive throughout the game. However, no matter how odd it may sound, you don’t trust Banda as much as you did inside the game. Outside the game, he still looked like a serial killer who would kill you in the middle of the day. He also said that he only planned to keep you alive till the end of the game. So what about after that?
It did not appeal to you, the invitation to rule this world along with him. He wanted to be a citizen. You feel like Yaba does too. But you? You know you don’t want to. But what if Chishiya wants to?
Before you could answer, Chishiya does it for you.
“No.”
You whip your head to the guy behind you, with his chin up and hands inside his pockets. “She’s with me.”
Banda doesn’t even look at him. His eyes are still on you. “She told me she likes her guys a little deranged.”
“Exactly,” Chishiya answers again. “Key word: Little.”
“And I’m assuming that’s you?” Banda finally looks at Chishiya, subtly sizing him up with his dark eyes and smirk. You don’t know what’s happening but you’re not a fan of it.
You step up in front of Chishiya, putting yourself in Banda’s line of sight. He shifts his eyes to you. You glare up at him through your lashes, brows furrowed and frowning like a lioness protecting her cub. It was a poisonous stare that made Banda’s lips curl up in amusement, the same strange gleam in his eyes sparkling like before.
There were no words you had to say as your eyes bore into his, fronting every confidence you have to make him get away from you and Chishiya without a fight.
“Such a shame,” Banda says. “If you change your mind, or if anything happens and you’re alone, I’m sure we’ll find each other.”
You nod, doing anything for him to get out of your sight even with his frightening last statement. He leaves with Yaba. It seemed he made a companion for the rest of the games anyway.
When you can no longer see their silhouette, you turn around to face Chishiya, he gives you an unamused look. You frown, already knowing what he’s thinking.
“You didn’t listen,” he scolded.
“You asked me to stay put!” You complain, throwing your arms around. “I can’t just do that.”
“So you go ahead and join a Hearts game? Really?” He starts to turn around and walk while speaking. You follow him hastily, grunting.
“I was supposed to go to a Spades game but the King of Spades showed up. You? What’s your excuse?” You cross your arms as you now walk side by side.
Chishiya had his hands in his jacket’s pockets. You sigh when you hear his answer. “The King of Spades too, huh? He really doesn’t rest.”
“Right. Do you think I can take him on?” You ask this time. If there weren’t guns involved. You think you could do it. Maybe. You don’t know. You’ve fought war veterans back in the underground. He seemed to be one of them.
“No.” Chishiya didn’t even sugarcoat it.
“Then, we have to find Arisu and the others. It’d be better to try and take him down with numbers.” You think out loud.
“Just leave it to them, won’t you?” Chishiya suggests. This makes you frown once again. You really didn’t want to do that.
“No. I want to try and face him. The King of Spades.” You declared.
Chishiya doesn’t answer anymore but you know he disapproves of it. You two were both doing it lately, just doing whatever the hell you wanted without caring about what the other might think. You’re starting to think that Borderlands is rubbing off on you.
And then you remember the game.
“Hey, you asshole. You didn’t even try to partner up with me during the game. What if Banda lied to me?” You huff.
He sighs. “I did try to tell you every round. It was how many cookies I ate.”
Oh… Oh! That’s why he was eating four pieces at a time.
“I slipped the meaning of each count in one of your favorite snacks and you took it. I thought you saw what I wrote. Idiot.”
“What the…” you were in disbelief, a hand over your mouth. You stop in your tracks, pressing your lips together dramatically and lifting your head as if you were preventing yourself from crying.
You point to Chishiya. “You’re telling me… I trusted Banda all throughout the game when I could have known my suit every round?”
Chishiya kept walking, not even bothering to look at your dramatic acting. However, you hear him mutter the word idiot one more time.
You can’t believe this. He still looked out for you. How much of a dumbass are you to not see that fucking note he left in your snack?
“What was the offer Banda made you?”
You know he’d grow curious about it. He was probably itching to ask about it the moment the murderer walked away. You’ll have to congratulate him for only asking about it now that you’ve found another place to stay at.
It was closer to the center of Tokyo. Now that you know that the King of Spades was roaming around the outskirts of the city, it’s safer for you to be here. Chishiya was right about his hunch as usual. If only you expected it to happen sooner.
“Banda… he wants to be a citizen.”
The thought of the psychopath still gives you goosebumps. He was scary. He’s the kind of man you’d rather avoid than beat up. You wonder what game he went to next. Did he go with Yaba? They seemed to get along after the game.
“And?” Chishiya presses.
“He thinks that I should be one too. He wanted me to join him in staying here. He said I was just like him.” It was funny. How could a psychopath compare himself to you? Somehow, it makes you think. Are you really just like him in some way?
“What a load of crap,” Chishiya muttered as he leaned on the wall of the room, arms crossed with his hood down. You’re currently staying at a condominium. Specifically, your home.
You were curious if it was still here. Surprisingly, it was. So is this world really just a mirror of the real world, just abandoned?
“What?” You barely heard what he said so you asked in case you heard it wrong.
You’ve just finished cleaning it to be habitable to the best of your abilities. You’re just staying here for one night anyway. You just wanted to see it for a while.
“Why are we here?” Chishiya answers your question with another.
You give him a glare before jumping on your bed. Your back hits the soft mattress, the exhaustion catching up with you. It just hit you that you were awake all night because of the game. “I missed my bed too much.”
“You can go back to your bed once you get back to the real world.”
When I’m back in the real world, huh? To be honest, your time with Banda is on your mind. What if… There really is no end to this? You need to keep your mind open and have no expectations. You need to prepare yourself for anything.
“How optimistic of you, Shuntarou.”
“How the tables have turned.” Chishiya chuckles in a low voice. “Tell me, has Banda gotten into your head?”
You scoff but let your silence answer his question. This made Chishiya sigh out loud. As you stare up at the ceiling, you feel the edge of the mattress sink, indicating Chishiya sat down with his back turned to you.
“It’s just… What if this is really it? What if we can’t go back? What if this really ends when we die? Like Asaki and Matsushita?” You were thinking out loud and indulging Chishiya in it. You’re sure he’s listening. He always was. Even if sometimes you didn’t feel like he was.
“He asked me why I want to live so much.” You were still staring up at the ceiling, your eyes focused on absolutely nothing. “And you asked me what was so valuable back in my life that I want to go back.”
You pause and think.
Let’s say that somehow, you are able to go back and finally leave Borderlands? What happens when you’re back in the real world? It’ll be the same. High heels, full-course meals, boring meetings, attending parties, drinking wine. Then, once in a while, you’ll risk your life in underground fights. When you win, you’re back at the hospital, chasing around a guy that you’re not even sure if he wants you.
And then there’s your father.
Knowing that piece of shit, he most probably doesn’t care that you’re gone. He never wanted you anyway. You were just a product of an unwanted pregnancy with a whore who chased him around. Well, that’s what he told you multiple times.
Your mother wasn’t a whore. She was just a girl in love. She loved him and he loved her too. However, he didn’t see a future with her because of her status. She was a nurse and he wanted someone better, someone more powerful. So, when he learned she was pregnant, he pushed her away.
It broke her heart so much that it killed her months after you were born.
Your father regretted it so much that he loathed you. You were only a reminder of what he lost—of his mistakes. Still, your father never married and you don’t know why when he would insult you and your mother any time he could. You wish he just did so he could look at something else other than you. He took you in, gave you a roof over your head, and fed you but never raised you. You were raised by maids, tutors, and your grandparents who were just as cold but at least they cared more.
There was never a person you could say that was your own just because they are. You never really felt alive. You had no family. Your friends never really felt like your friends. The money you spend away is never really something you earned. And the person that makes your heart race… was with you because he was after something else.
Maybe Borderlands is better.
Here, Chishiya is something else. He was still the same, cruel and selfish. But here, you tasted his lips. You don’t know if that’s just him being affected by the apocalyptic situation you’re in but you were still happy it happened.
You’re happy here because the people around you here, they’re reaching for you—actually you. They wanted you. They weren’t reaching for their past lover that birthed you, weren’t reaching for a few paid bottles of alcohol or food, weren’t reaching for social connections, weren’t reaching for wealth, weren’t reaching for a punching bag—weren’t reaching for anything at all but for some reason, their hands found you first.
And so they settled.
But here, you found Arisu and Usagi who relied on you and you relied on them. Here, you can feel that Chishiya cares about you. Here, he wore the jacket you gave him.
“Chishiya…” A tear fell out of your eye. You didn’t even realize that you were on the verge of crying. “I think I can accept it. If this is the end for me.”
Ice-cold skin collides with your laid out hand on the bed and you almost jump in shock because of the temperature.
Chishiya who still had his back turned to you, reached out for your hand… and held it.
You can’t see his face, not when he wasn’t letting you. Chishiya never liked skinship. He was always eager to push you away whenever you tried to initiate it. You respected it though. You would always annoy him only with your words but you always remembered to keep your boundaries.
But here he was, with his hand on top of yours.
Honestly, it was more awkward than comforting. Your hand is frozen in place, unsure of what’s happening. The room was dim and you don’t have a clue what his face looked like right now. Never has Chishiya ever shown you empathy in words or in actions. This is the first time he has ever touched you like this.
“Shuntarou?” It was a whisper, calling out his attention and at the same time asking him why he was holding your hand. “What’s wrong?”
Like a feather, his touch is soft and fleeting. Within seconds after your question, his hand lifts off of you as if it was never really there.
Before you know it, your bed dips on each side and you realize that Chishiya is now hovering over you with his hands on either side of your head and knees on either side of your legs.
Your breath hitches and heat immediately rushes to your face at the intimate position. The air is suddenly heavier as the atmosphere changes. You see his face through the moonlight coming from the window. Up close, Chishiya’s face is clearer like you can memorize every detail and be able to draw it like a portrait artist with a photographic memory.
His brow was slightly furrowed and his lips were parted slightly. He was staring you down right in the eye like he was trying to say something. They were blazing as if he was raging, his mind boggled into a million words but he couldn't speak of it.
You blink, confused as your gaze fleets to his lips, remembering your previous kisses.
And then his gaze finally softens and a hand that was digging the mattress beside you moves to your face. It caresses your cheek and you involuntarily lean into his hold. Then, it moves up to your head, pushing your hair back away from your face so he could see it more clearly.
Your eyes sparkle in front of him. The untied lower half of his white hair is falling in your direction. You always loved the length of his hair. Sometimes, you would crave to run your hands through them. However, that was just a fantasy before.
Longing. Comfort. Lust. Which one of these three is he trying to say to you?
His hand stops on your cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb. Then, his hand moves to your lips, thumb pressing into the soft parted flesh, caressing it. It stops in the middle and presses further.
You decide to take things further, the hell with whatever he was trying to do. You parted your lips and encircled his thumb with your mouth as you stared up at him intensely. Your wrapped lips suck him in and you see his brows rise and eyes darken. You let your tongue run through his finger, sucking like you would another part of him. And finally, with a loud pop, you let his thumb go.
For a few seconds, all you could do is stare at each other with overwhelming lust in your eyes. Whatever the conversation was earlier, long forgotten. Right now, the need for each other is heightened, your core being awakened. His mouth finds yours immediately, smashing one another with a burning passion. His hips lower and you feel the hardening of his center on your abdomen. You lift your hips up as you gasp into the kiss, feeling the pressure of his clothed cock against your pulsing heat. Wanting to feel more of him, you grind yourself up to him once more.
As you do that, Chishiya pulls away from your mouth, buries his head on your neck, and moans. Oh, you were going to be addicted to that sound. You want to hear more of it.
“Do you want me, Shuntarou?” He was still littering kisses on your neck as you asked that question. This a bold question. What are you going to do if he says no?
And yet he doesn’t answer. He continues licking and biting your neck. However, his hand rises to your cheek and then he does it. Two taps with three fingers. The same as he did that one morning after sharing your first kiss. You hadn’t minded it then, thinking it was just some cute gesture that he’d do instead of showing affection to you. Well, it is. But it’s more than that. Specifically, you don’t know what it means. But it seemed like a yes. You just had to be sure.
“Tell me.” You hold his hand that was holding your face.
He lifts his head that was buried in your neck, finally looking at you in the eyes. “Yes.”
Then he closes the distance between you once again. You surrendered yourself to him completely, with him pulling you in with his hands beside your face. You grasp the sides of his shirt, crumpling it as you try to pull it up, wanting to feel his bare skin. He smirks against your lips, pulling away and kneeling on the bed. He pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his lean body to you.
You sit up, immediately drawn to his body. He lets you eye himself, picking up your hand and placing it on his chest. You look up at him through your lashes with enlarged pupils, pulse racing, and mouth agape. He looks down at you with equally as much emotion. You know this through the feeling of his heart beating in his chest. Chishiya wasn’t much one to show off his body. You admit that he wasn’t the most athletic but he did exercise as much as he needed. He wasn’t as fit but he was healthy.
You feel his body through your hands, running them up and down his chest and stomach, memorizing the feeling of his skin against your palms. You rarely see him topless so you wanted to remember this. He bends down to capture your lips again, caressing your cheek gently then down to your neck, to your shoulders, and then your waist.
You gasp against his lips as he lifts and spins you around, sitting you on his lap. You’re on top of him this time, legs folded on his sides while your heat directly sits on his crotch.
His lips are back on your neck, sucking and marking them. You rest your hands on his shoulders as he continues his attacks of kisses on your neck. His hands on your waist go lower and under the fabric, goosebumps forming from his touch. His hands roam around your skin under the shirt, inches away from the underside of your breasts. When he finally feels them, he freezes.
He pulls away from your neck and with a frown, he asks. “You aren’t wearing a bra?” He seemed a little pissed.
“Who the hell wears a bra to sleep?” You ask, dumbfounded and confused as to why this is relevant.
“You should always be ready to run.” He complains like an idiot, brows furrowed. “Do you always sleep like this here?” He raises a brow.
“Of course not, you idiot. Only with you.”
After you said that, the corner of his lips tug into a satisfied tight-lipped smile. You smirk back, hands on the hem of your shirt. You pull the clothing off of you, exposing your braless breasts to him. The cold air hitting your skin hardens your nipples instantly, catching Chishiya’s eye in the process.
Most of the time, you feel comfortable with your body. You like to think you looked sexy with your well-built body. Then again, Chishiya has never looked at you like this—not in this context.
It made you feel a bit insecure, not being one of the girls with perfect, unbruised skin and thin delicate bodies.
You cower in his gaze, not quite covering yourself but looking away to avoid seeing his reaction further. He notices this and uses two fingers on your chin to bring your face back in his direction.
“Look at me,” he orders. With glossy eyes filled with want and lust, you stare at his eyes, the beauty mark under his right eye, and his delicate lips. “Only look at me.” He repeats himself.
You nod, holding his gaze for a while before he leans to pepper kisses on your chest, not quite reaching where you want him most. His hands were on your ribs, thumbs tracing the underside of your breasts. Then his lips finally circle the curve of your breasts, sucking the skin and marking them as he did with your neck.
“Shuntarou.” You were pleading, whining, and asking him to place his mouth or even just his hands where you really wanted him to. You jolt when his hand comes up to pinch your nipple, earning a moan from you.
“Patience,” he reminds you.
He continued licking your skin, kissing your neck and chest alternately while holding one of your boobs in hand, massaging them. Your sensitive nipples were aching to be touched. You badly wanted to take his head in your hands and bury his face in your chest so he could smother them with his mouth.
When his tongue licks one nipple like a kitten as if testing the waters, you shudder. A soft whine slips from your mouth, not being able to control yourself and place a hand on the back of his hair as he fully envelopes his lips on your nipple, sucking it ferociously.
Throwing your head back in pleasure, you grind your crotch on his hardening one. The friction of your clothed regions goes directly to your clit and now you were sure that you were soaked. Deciding you absolutely wanted more, you place both your hands on his shoulder and ground yourself on his clothed cock repeatedly while he flicks, licks, and sucks your hardened buds. He was eager to taste every inch of your chest and you were drowning in absolute bliss.
Hands shot down to your torso, stopping you from your back-and-forth motion. You frown as he pulls away and stares at you with a smirk.
Before you can protest, he flips you over again, earning a squeal from you. He captures your lips again in a desiring kiss and your arms instantly wrap around his neck, making him press an arm to the mattress by the side of your head.
His other hand is still at your hips, thumb circling the skin just above the band of your shorts. It inches closer and closer until a finger is hooked under the soft material, teasing but not pulling it down quite yet. His hand goes under the material, feeling your underwear with his palm. You involuntarily clench as his palm goes directly to your clothed clit.
You feel him smirk in between the kiss as he feels your wetness, encouraging him to nibble on your lips. You were in dire need of him. You needed him to touch you, to mark you, to fuck you.
“Please,” you plead, breaking the kiss and looking up at him with hazy lustful eyes.
“Are you sure?” He asks, his hand going still under your shorts. You nod almost immediately and vocalize your consent.
He doesn’t wait for a second after he hears it and slides your shorts and panties down your legs. You slightly shiver when the cold air hits your bare center, feeling the wetness dripping from it. His hands parted your legs so he could see more of you, making you feel a little more conscious than usual with a rose tint on your cheeks. You were completely bare in front of him while he was still clothed from the waist down. You should be a little shy but you weren’t, something about the dynamic feels more erotic.
Chishiya’s hands are moving slowly from your thighs but not quite getting where you want them. Instead, his fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs, massaging them with a purpose: to tease you and make you wetter.
When he is satisfied, he bends downwards. Oh. You didn’t expect this.
He licks one languid stripe from your hole to your clit, gathering the wetness on his tongue to which he swallows with a hum, his cat-like eyes fluttering open after. You swallow the lump in your throat as you stare at him in the eye, wide-eyed at the erotic scene that Chishiya played out for you.
“Delicious,” he comments before diving in for more. Your hands immediately shoot down to make a home in his white hair as his head is buried between your legs, your back arching in pleasure as you gasp.
He presses open-mouth kisses to your clit and you don’t know what to do with yourself, feeling lost in the immense pleasure he was giving you. You tug at the strands of his hair but he doesn’t seem to mind, his ministrations to your cunt the only thing he’s focusing on.
Chishiya was like a man who suffered drought for years with the way he was eating your pussy. Half of his face is probably covered with your juices. You were only seeing the mop of hair between your legs but you can definitely feel his face mold against your heat.
He hums as he eats you out, sending vibrations and shock waves to your spine. You love Chishiya and you admit you thought about him naked from time to time. You also fantasized about this happening once or twice but hell, you didn’t know that it’d be the first thing he’d do and be so good at it.
He begins to catch on soon that it was clit stimulation that sends you closer and closer to that aimed high. The pressure begins to build in your abdomen, making you mewl and moan out his name to continue with whatever he was doing. It was a bit embarrassing how fast he could make you reach this point in only a few minutes. Was it because he was really good or was it because you held feelings for him that you hadn’t for anyone else?
The sound filling the room is obscene, his tongue lapping your wetness echoing your bedroom walls. Your clit is throbbing underneath his tongue.
The tension building up in your stomach rises with every flick of his tongue on your bundle of nerves and you feel it closer than ever to your most wanted high.
“Chishiya,” you sob, fingers tugging his hair. “Baby, please…”
The nickname slipped out in the midst of your begging. What’s funny is you don’t even know what you’re begging for. For him to not stop or for him to make you come already? Maybe it was both.
“I know,” Chishiya murmurs against your cunt and gives your clit one extended suck before practically lifting your bottom half from the bed and digging his head further into your pussy.
He’s quicker than ever and you can’t not appreciate seeing Chishiya’s blatant display of eagerness and lust. His nose is pressed against your pelvis, lapping up your cunt as if it’s the last thing he’ll do. Your wetness is dripping down your thighs, pussy providing more for him like a water source.
“Oh, ngghh… Shuntaro… Yes. Fuck!” You moaned incoherently while your hips involuntarily grind against his face. He doesn’t mind, his hot appendage flicking his tongue against your swollen clit and heating you up further.
You’re going insane, not knowing where to put your hands. They went from his hair to grasping the sheets, to feeling every inch of your naked skin, to groping your tits and pinching your nipples, to pulling your hair, and then back to his mop of hair between your legs. You were an absolute mess and it was all because of Chishiya’s mouth on your pussy.
You were a mess and your mind is blank, void of any thoughts except of the knowledge that you were about to cum. Your stomach is unwinding at a breakneck speed, your breathing heavy as Chishiya is working endlessly to get you there. He pushes and pushes until—
And then you came.
Your legs clasped around Chishiya’s head as you came, your moans in the form of screams. You can’t hear anything, too indulged in the sinking pleasure and gasping for air. He was still there with you, continuing to eat your pussy like you weren’t cumming messily under him.
You were trying to catch your breath when it subsided, finally releasing Chishiya from your legs by parting them. He gazes up at you to admire your face which was cherry red and wet with tears you didn’t even know were there.
You give him a lopsided smile, eyes content and chest warm.
You pull him from below you and he lets himself be carried to your face, lips meeting in a soft kiss. It’s a sight to behold, half of his face covered in your juices. It is seldom that Chishiya is caught in a mess and right now, it was all because of you.
His fingers are on your core again, not even letting your sensitivity subside. You don’t complain though, excited with what more he could give you.
He spreads your wetness around your pussy, careful enough to go around your sensitive clit to not hurt you. Your tongue explores his mouth, tasting yourself in the process.
His finger is prodding your hole, teasing the tip in and out or circling it. When he finally enters you with a finger, you gasp. He was already knuckle deep, not pulling it out but curling that finger until the pad of his finger felt that spongy spot inside you.
You grasp the bicep of the arm that was beside your head. He leans down to suck your nipple again, making you arch your back again. He adds another finger, navigating your pussy as if wanting to learn every crevice of your cunt.
He pistons his fingers in your pussy while overstimulating your sensitive nipples. The pleasure was immense and you abruptly sat up when his pace went faster, hitting that certain spot inside you that’s an instant gateway to your edge.
Contrasting your loud moans and constant citing of Chishiya’s name, your partner is not as audible as you expected. Unlike your other partners before, he’s more on actions than words, making sure you were enjoying, checking every sign of your pleasure or discomfort in your face.
He wraps an arm around your back, supporting your upper body slightly closer to his as his other hand is knuckles deep inside your cunt.
You were mumbling incoherencies as his fingers repeatedly hit that spot while his mouth worked expertly on your tits.
“Again,” he orders. “Cum for me again.”
He inserts another finger as he says that and the stretch burns so good. You often dreamed about his hands. God, his hands. Delicate and well-controlled. He was a doctor, after all. You don’t forget how in med school, you’d watch his hands as he demonstrates something and your mind would trail off somewhere. Now, those same fingers are where you want them to be.
What else could you do but comply?
Your orgasm gushes out and takes you off guard. His fingers don't stop, each thrust of his fingers making your cunt squelch. The sound is lewd and you don’t think you’ve been pleasured like this your whole life. It was so unfair. How is Chishiya handsome, intelligent, and good at sex?
You were panting when you came down from your high, staring at Chishiya with spent and glossy eyes.
“W-what the fuck,” you breathed out, unbelieving what just happened. He just made you cum two times and you haven’t even seen his dick.
“Are you tired? We can stop here.” He asks you out of concern. You’re already vigorously shaking your head as an answer.
“No. I want to feel you,” you say while palming his erection over his pants. “Want to taste you too.”
“You don’t have to.” He was serious about it, eyes soft and genuine. Men would often want a reciprocation when it comes to oral sex, that is, if they even gave one in the first place. But Chishiya, this man right here, the man you adored since the first day, he was different.
“I want to,” you say before wrapping your arms around him and pressing your lips against his. You pushed his body to lay down on his back and you trail your kisses from his lips to his neck to his chest and down to his pants. His legs spread, lying comfortably on the mattress.
Unlike Chishiya who liked to take it slow, you were impatient, tugging down his pants and briefs in one motion before completely removing them and throwing them somewhere on the floor. His cock springs out and it was already hard and leaking at the tip. You look at it with anticipation, basically salivating as you were eager to taste him.
You wrap your hand around the base and licked the tip with your tongue, making him hiss. You were sure to taste him first before anything else then you moaned as he did when he first tasted you, looking up at him dirtily through your lashes.
His eyes were shut close and his jaw was clenched, basking in the second of pleasure. You wanted more from him—to make him a mess under you as he did you.
You spread his pre-cum with your thumb and then spat, using both as lube as you slide your hand up and down his shaft. His face contorts into pleasure and hums.
Finally, you wrap your lips around his tip, swirling and sucking it as if it’s the last meal you’ll have. Chishiya was of decent length but the girth—oh god, the girth. It suddenly made sense why he used three fingers on you earlier.
You push your head down on him, taking him little by little. If he was good at it, then you’ll show him how great you can be at it too. You bobbed your head back and forth, taking more and more of him at every thrust. Your hands massage his balls as you suck his cock.
Chishiya’s head is thrown back when you glance up, his beautiful neck on display for you. This only motivates you more, fastening your pace, not minding as lewd sounds come out of you as you choke and gag on his cock.
Your eyes stay on him, waiting for his eyes to meet yours again. And it does. He glances down at you, teeth clenched together in an attempt to strain a groan from him. “Fuck,” he hissed.
You were probably a messy sight to behold. Tears on your blushing face, saliva leaking out of the corner of your mouth, and all high on pleasure and lust. Despite this, he looks at you in pure adoration in contrast to the sinful situation.
Freeing his cock from your mouth with a little ‘pop’, you breathe and give him a smile before sticking out a flattened tongue and running your tongue from the base to the tip. You take him in your mouth again, humming to create vibrations as you swirl your tongue and bob your head ferociously.
And then you hear it. He moans and mumbles your name.
You didn’t know that he wanted you to stop, taking the sinful sounds coming out from him as motivation to make him come. It was turning you on so much, having such a man writhing with the way you suck his cock. He practically pulls your head away from his cock for you to realize. “Need to be inside you,” he explains in a rush. Once again, he flips the two of you over. There was no warning, no second to prepare.
In one swift motion, his cock enters you, taking his cock inch for inch. You were so wet that he entered with ease, making you gasp and hold onto his shoulders for support. He doesn’t move for the first few seconds, taking in your warmth and tightness. His eyes are closed and his brows are furrowed when his entire length is inside you.
“Shuntarou,” you mewl. Just as you thought, he was on the thicker side, filling your cunt so well.
“Feel so good,” he mumbles against your neck.
The warmth goes straight to your chest, an unfamiliar feeling during sex. His cock is nestled inside your warmth but you wanted him to move so you grind yourself against him. The sudden friction makes him groan, digging his arms into the mattress as he raises himself just above your face. And then he starts to move.
He pulls out until just the tip of his cock is inside then he slams it back inside again, your sensitivity from previous orgasms doubling the pleasure and making you moan out curses. He starts building the pace, cock thrusting in and out of your heat. It stretches your cunt, every pound hitting your g-spot which he found with ease. Your body jostles with every snap of his hips.
You wanted to keep your eyes open and see every slight change on his face. The way his brows furrow, the way creases form on his forehead, the way his lips part slightly, and the way he pants. But it was all too good.
“Fuck! Oh shit. Please don’t stop!” You plead with shut eyes, tears leaking out of the sides of them as you clench your pussy just as he grinds his cock right at the spongy area of your cunt.
“All mine,” he grunts. “You’re all mine.” It was so lewd and vulgar. You were so wet and loud that you were sure that even the mattress is now soaked with your wetness, your sheets forever ruined.
“Yes,” you croak. “Only yours.” Your words give him some kind of encouragement, his pace going faster than ever. You’ve never seen Chishiya this energetic. He’s pounding into you with reckless abandon, his cock hitting all your nerves as you wail in ecstasy.
You both were chasing your high like madmen, you thrusting up your hips to meet his rhythm. Your cunt was clenching around his length and he let out a guttural growl every time you did it.
“On your knees,” he commands as he pulls out of you.
You get on your knees, hands digging into the mattress to support yourself. He hisses behind you, cock entering you once again in one swift motion. Your back instantly arches and his hands fly down to your shoulder and waist. The hand on your shoulder slides to your neck and then to your throat, wrapping around it lightly. You turn your head to him, catching his smirk as he looks at you while squeezing your hips. He starts moving his hips, cock hitting deeper than ever. He has you rolling your eyes to the back of your head, his hand gripping the sides of your neck and adding to the haziness of your brain.
You turn your head again, watching as he captivatingly watches his cock move in and out of you. It was good. So good. But it was painstakingly slow.
“Faster,” you beg, voice a little coarse. He complies, grip on your hip and throat tightening to anchor himself as he rams his hips into you faster and deeper, fucking you silly.
“Fuck!” You scream out, starting to get high on the bliss the sex was giving you. Your back curves to him as he finds his rhythm and thrusts in fast motion.
The hand on your hips slides down to your pussy, his finger stroking your clit in swift circles. You scream, his dick hitting that sweet spot inside your and his fingers overstimulating your bundle of nerves.
“Chishiya, I’m—“ Your voice hitches, putting all your strength on keeping you steady even if your whole body is turning into jelly. You were completely engulfed in his touches.
“Come,” he commands for the second time. For the third time that day, the coil inside you snaps, your orgasm coming down at you in full force. Loud and messy. Just as you are.
The fuzzy feeling rushes through your body, making your cunt tighten at your orgasm. Chishiya pounds harder to chase his own. Both of his hands snap back to your hips to avoid hurting you with overstimulation. His hips were stuttering, a sign that he was close too as your pussy cages him.
“Where?” He asked out loud while you were still coming down from your high. Your mind was hazy but it was clear enough to know what you wanted. “Inside,” you blubber. “I have an IUD.”
Just like that, he spills inside of you. Underneath him, you were a sobbing mess, sensitive to having three consecutive orgasms.
You take a glance at the man, his brows were knitted in pleasure, a few strands of his white hair sticking to his face. He was incredibly beautiful. Chishiya was a ravishing man and he just unveiled you. You wouldn’t want more for a while.
“Fuck,” he pants. His hands fall down from your hips and to his sides. He keeps his cock inside you for a few seconds after he comes down from his high before pulling out. Immediately, your body collapses on the mattress, your mixed juices spilling out of your pussy as your muscles all come loose.
With your head turned to the side and buried in the pillows, you can’t see Chishiya behind you. However, you do feel his hands come down to your ass as he spreads them apart, most probably watching his cum inside you. He collects them with his fingers, the tips of them brushing your sensitive clit in the process and making you shudder. Then his fingers enter your cunt again, pushing your mixed cum into you again. It was so erotic and vulgar, his fingers just ruining your oversensitive cunt. You squirm, the pleasure all too much.
“Ah…” you moan weakly. Chishiya chuckles and pulls his fingers out of you, the dip of his knees on the bed disappearing and you hear his steps on the floor. You were too tired to look at him but you do hear the water running in the bathroom for a few seconds before his steps return to the bed.
You jolt at the cold and damp towel meeting the skin of your thighs. He wipes you gently, hands working in favor of your sensitivity. He was so gentle that it almost felt relaxing. You let him do what he was doing and close your already droopy eyes.
When he’s done, you feel the bed dip beside you. Your hands immediately find his chest even with your eyes already closed, pulling yourself closer to him as you let yourself finally fall asleep.
When you woke up, Chishiya was gone. It made you nervous, finding the side of his bed cold and another canned food on the top of your bedside table. You reach for it, sighing and reading the label before putting it back down again.
You sat up, your blanket falling down from your body and exposing your naked breasts. It suddenly felt too cold and you notice the clean folded clothes sitting by your blanket-clad feet.
You get out of bed and decide to shower first. After cleaning yourself, you went back to your bedroom and started dressing up. Starting with the fresh underwear, you slip the panties on first and then the sports bra after. As the band below the sports bra snaps to your skin, you hear Chishiya speak.
“You’re awake,” he walks into the room and sits casually on the chair in front of your desk as if you weren’t half naked—as if you haven’t just had sex.
“Where were you?” You snapped, not looking at him and taking the yoga pants in your hands. You start slipping your legs into it as you wait for an answer.
“The King of Diamonds. Registration will start later.” You froze.
The two of you just survived a game together, and now he still wants to join another? Well, he is Chishiya after all. What were you thinking? Just because you two had sex, he’ll magically change overnight? You sigh, pulling the pants to your waist. “Okay,” you reply.
“Okay?” His voice sounded intrigued. He didn’t expect you to just agree like that.
“Okay,” you repeat, still not looking at him.
You sigh, grabbing the black dry-fit shirt. You pull it over your head as you speak. “I can’t really stop you, can I?” Besides, he hasn’t played a Diamonds game and you know he wanted to.
You pull the hem of the shirt, all done and dressed up. You know he didn’t want you coming to that game. And to be frank, you were all done with it. You had plenty of days on your visa and there were only a few games left. You have to put your trust in Chishiya. And if you will, a Diamonds game is where you trust him the most. He can do it, right?
“I’ll wait for you here,” you continue. “But only if you promise you’ll come back.”
You finally meet his eyes, staring at you intently. He was wearing his favorite white jacket, an oversized shirt, and pants. He was all ready. It made you sick how he did it all while you were sleeping soundly. He was to leave you. Did he fuck you because of this?
He stands up from his seat, walks over to you, and shortens the distance between you. He was inches away from you, pushing your hair to the back of your ear.
“I promise,” he answers.
You nod with a hard stare. “I won’t join any more games if I don’t have to and if you don’t come back, I’ll leave and start looking for the others. Deal?” You ask him, brows raising.
He was quiet for a few seconds as if he was contemplating an answer or if there was something else behind your words. But he answers anyway. “Deal.”
When you were content, you sat back down on the bed. “You haven’t eaten,” Chishiya observes as he stares at the untouched food beside you. “Not in the mood,” you reply blankly.
He hums, unconvinced by your answer. He sits down beside you on the bed. “Is this because of last night?” He asks you. So now he brings up what happened?
“No,” you lied through your teeth, aware that you were convincing no one but yourself. His kisses and now sex. Was this just how Chishiya did it? Just hook up and then go on as if nothing happened? Maybe that worked for any random person he did it with but he couldn’t do that to you. Not you.
He sighs, putting his hands in his pockets. He most likely knows that you were lying. “I didn’t have any motive if that’s what you’re thinking.” He takes a glance at you while he says that then looks in the other direction again.
“It’s hard to be sure with you,” you reply with a straight face but it comes out sadder than you intended.
He doesn’t answer for a moment, thinking. “I know,” he says. “I know.” His voice equals your saddened tone.
“Can’t we just be sure? I need you to be sure about me.” Chasing him around, you didn’t get tired of that. You always expected to get nothing in return. You thought that if you do someday get a reaction from him, you’d be content but unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. Him reciprocating your feelings without actually confirming anything, it hurts more than anything.
He doesn’t answer and tears well up in your eyes. You hold out your hand, the back of it touching your thighs. “This is hard for me too, you know?” You are your mother’s daughter, you realized. Loving a man that doesn’t even want you. You liked to think that Chishiya isn’t like your father but who knows? It’s hard for you to love too. But you’re trying. It just so happened that your heart chose him. It’s unfortunate but you’re hopeful.
“I know,” he answers the same thing.
“You know an awful lot of things,” you snort.
“I do,” he replies quickly.
You turn your head away from him even if you weren’t previously looking at him to express your aggravation. You don’t say anything else, sitting with him in silence and letting your anger marinate into something else.
“I do know a lot of things,” he continues a little later than a conversation should. “I know everything about you. More than anyone else I know. Your every habit. Your every favorite thing. Your thoughts. Your likes. Your dislikes. I know all of them. It’s not because I’m simply smart. I wouldn’t remember if it’s anyone else.”
A hand on your chin gently moves your face towards him, making you come face to face with him, faces only inches away from each other. His eyes were sparkling in the most expressive way they could be, boring into yours with a purpose.
“I know,” he says again. “I know because it’s you.”
A tear falls from your eye. Then from the other. Then another. Then another until they fall like waterfalls. He captures your lips into a kiss while holding your face, wiping your tears away with his thumbs.
“Stop crying,” he whispers when he pulls away. “You look ugly when you cry.” But like a child, you cry harder, hands covering your face. Chishiya chuckles, pulling your hands away from your face and you let him.
You wrap your arms around him. Words were still unsaid between the two of you, those three words that hang around your heart for years. You wanted to say them in case you don’t see each other again but you were scared. Why? You don’t even know.
“I—“ you stutter. “I have something to say to you when you come back.” He hums again and you feel the vibration of his throat in your touching bodies.
“So come back, okay?” You sniff. Chishiya exhales, bringing a hand on your back to tap it two times. “I will,” he promises again. “But don’t go out. Just wait for me. I’ll come back.”
What else were to do but trust him?
Chishiya didn’t come back.
The King of Diamonds blimp had fallen but there was no sight of the white-haired man. Agitated and feeling your body waste away inside the waste of a room he left you in, you worry for your acquaintance. Has he really lost the game?
No, impossible. It can’t be, right? This is Chishiya we’re talking about. Will he really lose a game—a diamond game out of all suits? This is unfair. You’ve kept your promise. You didn’t join any games and thankfully, there wasn’t any sign of the King of Spades. So why isn’t he back yet?
Your mind goes back and forth. Will you look for him and go outside or will you stay here, patiently waiting for him to come back? If you do go out, you’re breaking his promise and your trust in him but if you don’t go out, you think you’ll go insane out of worry. And what if the worst thing has already happened? Will you just waste away here in this room?
You decided that you won’t wait for him anymore.
Going outside, you mindlessly walk the streets of London without any destination, occasionally stopping by some places where you can loot some supplies and avoiding any people that come into view if you don’t know them.
As you are nearing Shibuya, an alarming sound pierces your ears.
Gunshot? But that’s just one. If it were the King of Spades, it should be much louder and followed by more running and bullets. You were near the main roads so maybe more people are there?
What if it’s Chishiya? or Arisu? Usagi? Anyone at this point. Just so you weren’t alone. You groan. You won’t allow yourself to be seen. If it’s no one you know, you can just walk away and run in another direction.
After you’ve decided, you begin to stealthily walk in the direction of the fire. As you hide from car to car, more gunshots come followed by a little bit of shouting. There were arguments, maybe. Really? In the middle of having only two games left? Are they really going to kill themselves when we’re so near our goal? Sighing, you pick up your handgun and prepare to use it.
Then it was quiet again as you neared Shibuya crossing. You were maybe two or three blocks away. Who could they be? You hope it’s not anyone you know. Wait, is that?
That shaggy hair and lanky tall build. That’s Arisu holding a shotgun. And who’s that on top of a car wrapped up like an onigiri—oh. That’s fucking Niragi. He’s aiming at someone. If Arisu is here then that means? Your eyes trail to where the gun is pointed and you spot the short-haired girl in a red athletic tank top. Your eyes watered in shock and happiness. You finally found them.
However, that bastard Niragi is just a pain in the ass until the end, isn’t he? That fucking asshole. Speeding up your pace, you raise your gun without being heard. Your eyes were focused on Niragi and how his finger is on the trigger. He’s gonna shoot. You’re gonna have to do it fir—.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
It was his shot that rang first. Then yours. Then Arisu’s that sent him flying off the car. Aware of another shot that wasn’t coming from him but his back, Arisu turns around hastily with his gun pointed at you. You immediately raise your hands, showing your defenselessness in order for him to stand down his guard.
His eyes immediately softened when they saw you, putting down his gun and exclaiming your name in relief. “Y/N!”
You run towards him and pat his shoulder before screaming Usagi’s name and running in her direction.But when your eyes shift to where she was, Usagi was still on the floor, and in front of her was… what? Where did he come from? Why are there blood stains on his white jacket? In two different areas, too? What? No. What’s going on?
“Chishiya!” Usagi’s scream was piercing as his body falls on the road. Arisu goes over to them and Usagi presses a hand on his wound in order to control the bleeding. “Why?!”
You, however, stood frozen in place, just a few steps away from the three. Usagi began asking him why he saved her. It was indeed odd. Even you know that it’s out of character for him. You’d never thought you’d see the day that Chishiya would take a bullet for someone. He always argued that if a person could take a bullet for someone, they would have enough time to move away from the shot.
Whatever they were talking about, you tune out. You couldn’t hear anything. You feel like your brain shut down and all you could feel inside your body is raging fire. Your heart has stopped taking in anything, overflowing with exuding unexplainable emotion.
You had shut down.
“I wanted to do something that was a bit out of character.” Chishiya chuckles as he sputters out the words behind the pain. He sighs. “I know it’s thanks to Y/N and the people I met here. Like Kuzuryu. Arisu, too.”
Usagi and Arisu were worried and Arisu even took a glance at you, wanting to check on you as you stared down at Chishiya with a lifeless expression. There were no tears in your eyes, only an unmatchable coldness burning them. No emotions. Your shoulders were relaxed and the lids of your eyes looked as if they were too heavy to keep open.
However, he focuses back on the man dying in front of him. “Hey. What were you gonna say before?!” He asks, pertaining to a few minutes before Niragi went and interrupted them.
Chishiya takes his time to take a breather before answering. “Honest people always seemed pretty stupid to me. I always loved messing with people who try too hard at life. I hated selflessness.” He pauses to breathe again, his voice raspier as his eyes stare up at the sky. “It’s probably because I was jealous. They all had something I was missing.”
He stares at Arisu for a second before looking straight ahead again. “It was like they could always see what a pathetic and small-minded person I really was.” Then his head turns to you who wasn’t even looking at him. You were gone inside yourself. “I was always afraid.” That I wouldn’t be enough for her too, is what he thought as he saw you.
“I understand you,” Arisu responds, genuinely with a nod. He doesn’t say it just because the man lying down on the ground is in a critical condition. He does understand what he’s saying and what he means. “I thought you would,” Chishiya replies with a bittersweet tone.
Usagi and Arisu look down at Chishiya with pity and understanding. They were betrayed by this man. He used and manipulated them in his favor. He had hurt Y/N a lot. But this man… is just a flawed human being. While that doesn’t excuse his actions, they do understand him a little bit better. They wished that somehow and one day, he can change and be a better man.
Usagi looks up at the woman standing quietly in front of them, her eyes widening at her lifeless state. “Y/N?” Arisu follows Usagi’s eyes and hurries to his feet, about to check on their friend who looked terribly off. They’d never seen her like this before. Hell, Chishiya has never seen her like this before.
“I guess hunting rifles aren’t as deadly as you thought.” Grunting at hearing the voice of his enemy, Arisu rushes to where he fell, ready to shoot him once again if he makes a wrong move. However, a hand on his chest stops him and he looks at the person with wide eyes.
Your eyes were still lifeless and blank. You didn’t even look at him, staring at Niragi’s body who was sprawled on the cement road next to the car. He was still laughing, his breathing uneven with all his injuries and shots.
“Whatever you do, don’t make me out to be the villain.” The man was dying, it was clear to anyone. But you didn’t seem convinced. “If there were seven billion of me, you guys would all be villains too. You’re pretty lucky you know. You guys are the majority.”
Arisu lowered his gun, knowing that the man had forfeited. His bloodied burnt face and the bullets in his body are enough for him to not be able to move. However, as Arisu looked at you, you didn’t look like you cared. “Y/N!” He couldn’t do anything but scream your name as you rush to Niragi, kicking his body, and sending him rolling on the ground.
Niragi coughs out blood. Plenty of it. He doesn’t even try to move or run. He couldn’t possibly do it. He was too weak and injured. You pick up the man by his hair, lifting his body off the ground. With blaring eyes, you throw a powerful punch across his face. His body falls to the ground again.
“What’s your pr—,” he tries to ask but you weren’t hearing anything. You pick him up by his hair again. But this time, you punch the other side of his jaw. He falls to the ground again and sputters out blood, spitting crimson red and a tooth.
Arisu and Usagi were too stunned to move or speak. You were merciless as you beat up Niragi, punching him multiple times and kicking his wounds repeatedly as Niragi cries out in pain. You weren’t hearing any of his protests. You were completely out of it. Arisu could see that something was wrong. He has never seen you like this before.
From the ground, Chishiya looks up at Usagi who was still pressing down his gun wound. “She’ll kill him,” he tells her, implying that the pair should stop you.
It’s not that he didn’t want Niragi to die. He wasn’t the judge of that, he learned. He also didn’t say that Niragi doesn’t deserve to be beaten by you. He most understandably deserved it. However, he knows that if you killed him, it'll leave a mark on you. You were a fighter but never a killer.
Usagi and Arisu pull you away from a curled up on the floor Niragi despite your protests and attempts to pull yourself free from their holding. You began screaming, grunting, and raging like a bull.
“Y/N! Get a hold of yourself! Please!”
Usagi pleads as she holds your arm tightly. Arisu holds your other one as they both struggle to pull you back.
“YN, stop!” It was Arisu who screams, having a much more difficult time than Usagi.
As the pair is still trying to hold you back, the familiar sound of rumbling puts them to a halt, frozen over what they know follows. This puts an urgency on Usagi, pushing Arisu from you and moving in front of you. She stops you by holding both of your shoulders in place, planting all her weight on the ground.
“Y/N!”
“Y/N!”
Usagi was in front of you, in distress as she squeezes your shoulders. She was holding on to you with maximum effort, her feet gripping the ground tightly and the force on your shoulders was vehement. Your face relaxes, releasing the tension that was once on it.
“U-Usagi?”
What was happening? Why is Usagi on the verge of tears? Why can’t you remember anything? Your knuckles are clenched and wet? You look down, seeing the blood and bruises forming on it. What’s the last thing you remember?
You feel Usagi’s hold loosen as you think.
You try to retrace your steps. You heard gunshots. You followed them. It was at the Shibuya crossing. You saw Arisu. Then Niragi. Then Usagi. Niragi was about to shoot Usagi. But Chishiya was shot instead.
Chishiya was shot. Fatally.
Your face morphs into a horrified one as you remember. You look up, finally processing what has happened and what was happening. The rumbling sound followed by a whistle indicated a blimp was near. Chishiya was shot and the King of Spades was about to come.
Snapping out of it, you turn around and run to where you know Chishiya is. Dropping to your knees beside him, tears began to sting your eyes as you try to press your bruised hand on his wounds.
He was fatal. There were two shots, one below the rib and another on the chest. You know you can’t carry him away to a safe shelter. He was too exhausted and he was losing too much blood. And you have to run now, quickly.
With your touch, Chishiya’s eyes open again but with struggle. He looks up at your face that had worry and devastation written all over it.
“H-hey,” he greets you with a corner of his lips curled up. He could barely keep his eyes open.
You broke into a sob, tears flowing down your cheek as you stared at the bloody mess in front of you. “Shuntarou. T-tell me what to do. Please. We can stop the blood. I can carry you to the nearest drugsto—“
He shakes his head, not even listening to your cries in an attempt to help him. “I-No. The jacket. I’m sorry.”
Your brows furrowed as you scrunch your forehead in confusion. “What?”
A hand lifts to the blood on his jacket. Was he trying to say sorry about ruining his goddamn jacket?
“Are you fucking serious? That doesn’t matter right now!” You scold him, fist slamming the concrete below you.
The man dying in front of you had the audacity to smirk in his condition. “T-the plant too.”
Your mouth drops open at his words, momentarily halting your sobs as tears continue to fall from your eyes. The plant? Could it be?
That’s when you realize that this man bleeding in front of you, unmoving and on the verge of death, is the same man who you met when you were a kid. This is the same man who would ignore you endlessly. This is the same man who pushed you away.
But this man… has always cared about you.
You wondered why he hadn’t gotten rid of it all this time. Back at the beach, you saw him wearing it. He had taken it off only one time—when you chose Usagi and Arisu over him. Then he mysteriously has it again when the games started. Had he always cared this much over that damn Nike jacket? Because of you?
You were about to speak again but a loud scream from afar interrupts you, indicating that the King of Spades is near.
“We have to go!” Arisu screams and runs to you and Chishiya. “We’ll hide them under the cars,” he says and you nod, wiping away your tears.
Arisu, Usagi, and you dragged Niragi and Chishiya behind the cars. However, you know that wouldn’t do much. But you have to run or be shot to death by the King of Spades right here with them.
“Come on!” Arisu beckons as he drops Niragi beside the car. You were still beside Chishiya, kneeling beside him and looking at him breathing and alive despite his exhausted and lifeless eyes. You place your hand on top of his and hold it, gripping it so tightly that your knuckles turn white.
You look at Arisu and then back at Chishiya, thinking about what could be the stupidest decision in your life. From the look on your face, Arisu begins to understand what you were thinking.
“Y/N, we need you.” Arisu pleads with you. You both know that if it ever comes down to taking down the King of Spades, three is better than one. Especially with your combat skills.
However, you stay on your ground, eyes focused on Chishiya who was now looking at you with confused eyes. “I want to be next to him. If I die, it’ll be next to him.”
Arisu and Usagi look at each other as if they’re communicating with their eyes.
Chishiya turns his head, looking away from your focused stare. “Just go,” he tells you, his hand that was in your hold pushes yours away.
You shake your head in protest. “No.”
The shouts got a lot clearer and the gunshots were louder. The King of Spades is nearing and you were giving Arisu and Usagi no chance to convince you to come with them. But you’re choosing Chishiya this time. As you always had.
Arisu places a hand on your shoulder and you finally look up at him with tears in your eyes. You give him one last nod and he gives you a stare and nods back. It wasn’t a look of pity but a look of worry and respect. This might be the last time you’ll see him and Usagi. Not all of you might actually survive this time.
“Be safe, Y/N.” Usagi crouches beside you to hug you.
You nod, patting her back. “Go. Now.” Usagi gives you one last look of determination and stands up in sharpness when you hear the screams and guns fired again.
And so you watch as Usagi and Arisu scramble away from you.
You finally plop yourself beside Chishiya, head down low in silence at the realization of what you’ve done. You don’t breathe or make a sound, only staying by his side as the shooting and running take place behind you.
Minutes passed by and there were still people screaming and being shot but a further distance. You were frozen there, not doing anything but sitting while everyone you meet here is dying.
Chishiya is breathing slowly but he’s alive. You can feel him looking at you in your peripheral vision but you don’t look back.
“Is this really what you want?” His voice was weak and soft, unlike the Chishiya you used to know. You don’t answer him, only staring ahead at the ruined buildings of Shibuya.
You remember walking here like it’s a chore. You remember seeing these streets alive with diverse people. Workers, students, tourists, and residents. It was a busy street. Now, what used to be a place that was never empty and filled with people, is littered with dead bodies.
“Y/N,” Chishiya continues in a warning tone, trying to catch your attention as your mind is drifting away.
You shake your head, headstrong on your decision. “No, I’m not leaving you.”
He sighs. “You’re so stubborn.”
You raise a brow, glaring at him. “And you’re fucking stupid. Look at where you’re shot.”
Why is it that the moment he turns things around he has to be in the line of fire?
He chuckles breathily, staring down at his wounds with raised brows. You frown when he literally does what he’s told. How can he be so sarcastic when he’s dying?
“What does my doctor think?” Chishiya raises a brow at you. You huff, looking away in annoyance.
“That you should shut up,” you snap. “Can you sit up? Let’s at least try to control the bleeding.”
“It’s no use.” You both know he’s right. Still, you’re not one to give up. You try to pull his arm but he winces, making you let go as you’ve accidentally touched a hot stove. You sigh, no choice but to sit in silence again.
It’s kind of odd how the King of Spades didn’t reach you behind the cars. The gunshots seem to have gone further away. Perhaps most players have decided to end the King of Spades now with Shibuya as his first and final arena. You thought about Banda and Yaba, were they in Shibuya too?
A cough pushes you out of your thoughts. You turn your head to your right and once again, your blood boils when your eyes meet Niragi’s who was barely leaning in front of a car. Sometimes, you really hate Arisu’s moral compass. He should’ve left Niragi for dead in the middle of the street for him to be shot dead and sure.
“What?” You spat.
He doesn’t even have the energy to answer. His face was all bloodied, having been beaten up. His burns haven’t been healing properly and he was shot twice by you and Arisu. He was in a more critical stage than Chishiya. You hope that he'll die soon.
Well, maybe not.
“Don’t die,” you tell the deranged man.
The corner of his blooded mouth curls up in the tiniest bit and you continue with a soulless voice. “Don’t die and let’s go back to the real world. When we’re back, just wait. I’ll find you and make you suffer so that you’ll wish you never lived and died here. I can atone for my sins in hell but you… I won’t let you. I want to be the one to punish you.”
You know a million thoughts are running through his head. He may be wanting to curse you or taunt you, or in the slightest of chance, regret all of what he’s done here. It doesn’t matter anyway. He was too injured to move his mouth.
You turn your back to him and face Chishiya again. He was staring at you with amused eyes, probably shocked at your cruel words for his enemy.
“What? I promised.” You defend yourself. “To protect you.”
“Why?”
“You know why,” you argue, brows furrowing.
If Chishiya isn’t answering because of his injury or simply because he didn’t have anything to say, you weren’t sure. You do know, however, that there is one thing weighing on your mind. There was no time to ask but now.
You open your mouth to speak and close it again, hesitating a little before finally speaking.
“Why didn’t you come back?” Your voice cracked. “I waited for you and watched the blimp crash. You didn’t come back.”
He stays silent for a moment, not even staring at you. His face looks troubled. It almost looks like he’s on the verge of crying. You’ve never seen him look like this. What exactly happened in his game?
“I—“ He finally answers, stuttering as if he’s unsure. “I don’t know.”
“You told me you will,” you bark. Were you angry? Maybe a little. Nobody wanted what happened to him to happen. It wasn’t his fault. Yet, you couldn’t not feel angry. If he just came back to you, would this have happened?
Sometimes, you wish you could get inside Chishiya’s mind just once. Just so you could be sure of what he thinks of you—of where you stand in his life.
“I know.” He chuckled bitterly. “And you told me you wanted to face the King of Spades.”
“Then I guess our words never really meant anything to each other.”
“So? Are you really going to stay here until they clear all the games?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“How is this ridiculous, Chishiya? You know how much I—“
“I know,” he pauses. “I know.”
“Why won’t you let me tell you that I lo—“
“Not here. Not now.”
“What if we never get the chance again? Say I do go out there and join them? What if I die?”
“Walk it off. Win the game and crawl. Then say it.” He presses on every word harshly. You frown, upset that he was pushing you away this way.
What now? He really wants you to leave him, huh?
“Listen, Y/N. I’m okay. I won’t be able to join the last game but I can stay here and be alive until it’s been cleared. You can go. I’ll wait for you here.”
You close your eyes, sighing as you rest your elbows on your folded knees. You place your head on your hands, frustrated.
Of course, you wanted to help Arisu and the others. You weren’t selfish. You wanted to help with the King of Spades. But Chishiya is always your dealbreaker. He’s always the priority for you.
The sooner the King of Spades is cleared, the sooner the Queen of Hearts could be entered. If you go now, maybe you can still find and help Arisu and Usagi. You sigh. It’s been a while since they left and the sound of gunshots and crashes has dwindled into a few now. Where will you find them?
“Shuntarou.”
Your tone was serious, venom dripping from your voice. Your head was still on your hands, covering your face.
“If I don’t make it—if I don’t make my way back to you, you’ll go back to the real world and try. Live better. I don’t know how you’ll do it.” As you ask the question, you turn your face to him. “Just try, okay?”
You don’t wait for him to answer, taking his face in your hands and smashing your lips against his. He kisses back almost immediately, taking a hand and placing it over your hair.
You pull away earlier than you wanted to, still holding his face. His eyes softened, half-lidded as they realize what was happening even if he was the one that pushed it.
“I’m gonna go.”
You rise to your feet, crouching. As you turn to leave, Chishiya’s hand tugs your hand back to him. Your eyes widened as your lips met his once again. This time, it was softer and moist, and you realize that it was because tears began falling from your eyes and had saltied your kisses. The softness of his kiss contradicted the harsh truth of the situation while the intensity of it matched it quite perfectly. His insistent mouth was parting your lips, palm now back at the back of your head, pressing you further to his face. He groaned softly, low in his throat and you felt it against your mouth. You chuckle against his lips, finding the irony in the situation.
“I promise,” he says when you two finally part.
Determined, you gave him a smile and a nod.
“Go.” His voice was hoarse from both his injuries and the kiss.
Then you turn around again, taking one last glance at your man before running off in the direction of where the King of Spades went.
Ruins welcomed you as you walked further, finally putting a visual to the people you heard were being shot as you hid with Chishiya. Against your will, you take a look at each and one of them, crouching and hiding once in a while and hoping that one of them wasn’t people you know.
You hear multiple gunshots from what looked like it came from an alley. Hastily, you run in that direction.
As you get nearer, you hear the familiar voices. However, they weren’t speaking, they were screaming in agony.
You readied your gun, cocking it, and stealthily walked into the alley. Usagi was shouting in pain. Kuina too. You walk faster, the lightest you could possibly go knowing that the King of Spades may know you’re coming.
You lean on the wall as you reach a turning point, slowly peeking further into the alley where you’re sure that’s where they are.
It was An you see first.
Her unmoving body sprawled out on the floor, her white shirt covered with blood. Next to her, was a crying Kuina, bleeding from what looked like multiple stab wounds.
Usagi was on the King of Spades’ back, trying her best to choke him but he brought out a knife, plunging it into her knees multiple times. They were moving too often and you cursed to yourself because you were not a great shot.
It was Usagi’s screams of pain that put you in overwhelming urgency. You take a deep breath, aim, and shoot.
Bang!
You press the trigger at the same time as the King of Spades throws Usagi from his back and onto the ground. You keep on shooting, revealing yourself from your hiding place at the edge of the alley and marching to him.
The bullets hit and some don’t, having been avoided by the skilled man. A veteran. Or maybe someone like Aguni. You can see his face unlike before and there were no longer multiple pieces of armor adorning his body.
He heads on straight to you and before he reaches you, you throw the gun far behind him. He only has a knife and you can’t risk him having a gun. It has to be this way for you to beat him.
You hear Kuina or Usagi mumbling your name as they realize that you were here.
Your opponent lunges at you with his blade and you run to tackle him, putting both your fists forward. As he swings his fist holding the knife, you misdirect him with what supposedly looked like a tackle and swiftly shift to the right and smack his face with your right fist while holding his left arm with your left. The impact makes him stumble to his right and you jump, kicking his waist with both feet to make him lose his balance entirely.
He didn’t. It didn’t work.
He stayed standing on the ground like a statue, putting all his weight on his feet. This made you clench your legs to his body to steady your hold on the arm with the knife.
He uses the opportunity to grab your leg and keep it there. You repeatedly slam his head with your fists while he, like a bull, runs and slams your back to the nearest wall. You grunt in pain, your other leg that he wasn’t holding falling and you use that leg’s foot and slam it against the wall so you won’t be pressed further.
You put all your strength into preventing him from using the blade and take the pressure of you against the wall to steady yourself. You smash your fist on his eyes repeatedly and repeatedly until his head is thrown back.
He growls. The hold that was on your leg tightens enough to hurt the muscle and you scream in pain while still slamming your fists into his face. The pressure of his hold was enough for him to lift you again and then throw your body on the ground.
You were quick to go back on your feet and he was already lunging at you but you spin, unsheathing the Katana on your back and pointing it at him. You put yourself in the traditional Kendo stance with both your hands on the grip, left foot behind the right, and hips straightforward.
This makes him step back enough but still hold the knife in his hands with conviction, ready to attack or counter at any given moment.
To be honest, you’re never very well versed in playing around with swords but… you’ve been carrying it around all this time, won’t it be a waste to not use it?
You attack first, swinging the sword which he blocks with his small blade. You swing to the other side and he blocks that again.
You back away again and thrust forward which he avoids by jumping to his right. He rushes with his knife and knowing you can’t block it with your long blade, you bend backward and go under his arm. Successfully, you avoid his attack then spin and turn to face him again, slashing your sword onto his back, creating a huge gash on his shirt, his bulletproof vest, and his skin.
Your eyes are wide as blood drips from your blade.
Wow, these things are really sharp, you think.
You attack again as he turns around, swinging the blade again and he backs away to the wall to avoid it.
You expected him to dodge but he didn’t. What he did catches you off guard as he quite literally holds the blade of your sword in hand and not minding as the skin on his palm is sliced open. Brows furrowed and eyes blazed, he holds the sword in place and then uses the blade in his other hand to stab you in the stomach.
The blade pierces your skin in one swift motion and your jaw drops, not even having the chance to scream in pain. He stabs you again. And again. And again. Harder and deeper at every thrust.
You grip the hand with the knife, pushing all your strength into both hands. He was so strong that you could barely keep his hand away from your stomach. You wanted to slam his hand on the wall but he was far too strong like a rock.
Tears well up in your eyes. You still have to go back to Chishiya.
But this was starting to look like a losing game.
From your peripheral, you see Aguni crawling in the direction of where you threw your gun. So he was still alive. Even if you lose, he can win. And where was Arisu? You doubt he left Usagi alone.
And then it hits you.
They have a plan.
You scream and push with all your might, overpowering the King of Spades’ hand and slamming the knife against the wall. You slam your head from under his chin while repeatedly slamming his fist against the wall until his grip on the knife loosens.
However, him losing the blade causes his hand to be free from anything and he uses it to overpower you again, slamming his fist against your face in one big punch. His fist was heavy and his punch was nothing like you ever received before. It caused your head to throb and everything felt blurry for a few seconds.
You realized that you were thrown on the ground from the impact and your sword was no longer in your hand. Your vision was still a bit fuzzy as you see him holding the sword but then hear it hit the ground from far away.
Seeing from your eyes opening and closing out of consciousness, his silhouette was picking something up and then he was on top of you.
Why can’t you move? Everything feels so strange. Will you really lose this time?
You felt a weight on your torso and a black figure hovering over you. He raises his fist, slamming it across your jaw. Fuck. Was that fucking personal?
Your hand shoots up to stop the King of Spades’ other hand from stabbing you again. You don’t know when you’ve reached for your hunting knife strapped to your leg but you somehow did and plunged it right into his side and drew it back.
His free hand that punched you gripped your hand hard, slamming it on the cemented ground. You grunt, tears forming in your eyes as you try and get out of his hold or under him.
You push yourself up as he keeps on pressing you down to the ground. You wrap your legs around him and scream with all your might to turn yourself, putting all your weight on him and turning him over.
His wounded back slams on the ground and you stare at his deadly eyes, seeing the hatred and the urge to kill in his eyes. It scared you, to be honest. You’ve encountered lots of fighters. Strong, weak, arrogant, psychopaths, assholes, whatever they are, they always got a reason to fight no matter how pathetic it may be.
This man right here, he has a reason too. And from the looks of it, it’s not because he simply wants to win the game. There has to be something like a personal agenda. That made him a lot scarier.
You’re not stupid. You know you’re not a match for this man.
But if by wounding him a little, you’re helping the others, then you’ll gladly give your life. You just have to go back to Chishiya after.
Maybe Banda was right after all.
Your eyes catch Aguni who was getting near the gun. You sigh and when you look back down, the King of Spades slams his forehead against yours, knocking you back distracted and he plunges his knife again into you multiple times, blood spurting out of your mouth as he does so.
You could no longer move, the force of the blade wrecking you back and forth, making you fall back on the ground with wide eyes. You even hear Usagi crying for you.
The King of Spades doesn’t stop assaulting you when you fall on the ground because you don’t stop fighting back. You scream and scream, kicking him repeatedly however you can. He pulls one of your legs and stabs the knife in your thigh, specifically where your previous gun wound is. This made you stop fighting, wailing in pain but you catch yourself quickly, stabbing the knife in your hand on his foot and on his leg. He kicks your knife out of your hand and steps on your palm. You scream as you hear and feel your bones break. He doesn’t stop, kicking your stomach and letting your bleeding out pace faster.
Eventually, you become unresponsive to his hits, having everything feel numb that you can’t move. Your hand was broken, there were about ten stab wounds on your body, and your leg was wrecked.
You didn’t realize you ended up beside Usagi who was holding out her hand to you while barely conscious.
You hear two gunshots and you don’t even know if that is Aguni or the King of Spades.
You were crying, face wet with blood, sweat, and tears. You have to get back to him. You have to tell him.
“Usagi… help me. Chishiya,” you plead with a hoarse voice. “H-have to go back.”
And then everything turned black.
Arisu screams Usagi’s name as she falls on the ground with you, her injured legs and the weight of you was too much to support. Usagi could no longer scream for the pain and you were completely out of it.
You were crying, face wet with tears. The sight was breaking Arisu’s heart. The two girls who saved him when he was dying inside himself—those two girls who always seemed strong, who always saved him, he was watching as you both crumbled on the ground, beaten up, and weakened.
He picked up Usagi first, seeing as she was the one still conscious or at least in the right mind to talk to him. He cradled her face in his hands, tapping it as she was being pulled and pushed from consciousness.
“Arisu…” It was barely a whisper, slipping past her dry lips. She calls for him, forehead scrunched as she tries to tell him something more but her body fails her. Arisu could only make out your name.
He looks over at you, sprawled out on the ground and bleeding from multiple stab wounds on your body. You were hysteric and sobbing, trying to crawl the ground and away from them as he heard that the registration for the Queen of Hearts game was starting. It was obvious what you were trying to do.
He doesn’t know whether to pity or admire your love for Chishiya.
Helping Usagi up, he let her stand on her own for a few seconds before reaching over to you and picking you up, hooking your arm over his shoulders and his hands on your back and under your thighs.
You groaned in pain at Arisu’s sudden hold, tears pouring down your face as Arisu’s shirt is soaked with your blood. Once he stabled his footing, he let Usagi hold his arm for guidance as she struggled to walk with her injured knees.
The two of them walk in the direction of the Queen of Hearts game with you in his arms. Thankfully, Chishiya was on the way to the game.
It was like a death march. Arisu seemed to be the only man standing to enter the game. If it was up to him, he’d rather join the game alone. But from the determination on Usagi’s face, it seemed that she wouldn’t have that at all.
He only wished that no one has to die any more after the last game. He wishes to finish the game as fast as possible, hoping that he could save everyone who tried their best so far and are still trying to keep alive. You, Aguni, Kuina, Chishiya, An, Heiya, and everyone who was still breathing here in Tokyo. No one should die anymore.
“Shun…” It doesn’t even seem like you were still conscious anymore. He doesn’t know if you know he’s carrying you to him. It’s like you’re only dreaming of him.
“It’s okay, we’re near Chishiya. Hang on, Y/N. Just hang on.” Arisu assures you but as he says this, your eyes finally shut close and your body goes limp against his hold.
As that rusted car came into view, Usagi and Arisu went quiet, dreading the news that they were about to deliver to the white-haired man.
They pass the trunk of the car, catching the attention of the injured man in the bloodied white jacket leaning on the car door. He turns his head, spotting Arisu first and then the person he was holding. There you are, eyes closed, beaten, and bloodied.
The hand resting on his lap drops to his side and he tries his best to sit up straight. Usagi lets go of Arisu’s arm and lean on the car’s trunk. Arisu carefully placed your body next to his.
Whatever Chishiya was feeling was incomprehensible as he stared at your color-drained face.
Arisu couldn’t even say anything to the man. He wanted to say sorry but what would that do? He wanted to tell him why he brought you here but he’s sure he already knows the answer. What he could do, however, is to finish the last game quickly.
Chishiya didn’t even notice as Arisu and Usagi left, still looking at you, breathing slowly and watching as your chest would barely rise and fall.
He always liked being right. It gave him a sense of security that he was doing things well. You were the only thing that never made him feel secure as you were always pushing yourself into danger. He knew from the moment he saw him that the King of Spades was far too strong for you. When he said to you that you were no match for the King of Spades, he wasn’t lying.
And yet when he pushed you to fight the King of Spades, he also believed in you.
He could only wish as the blimp crashed that you were still alive.
And here you are, lying beside him… and he is so proud of you.
He never understood why you liked fighting. He didn’t understand what rush you were feeling from blood and sweat. But you’d never understand how his intelligence excited him either. He guesses that you two were both different and the same that way.
Ever since he figured out that you went underground, he’d secretly sneak into every one of your fights. There were times when an opponent with an established name in the underground would come and challenge you. When those assholes of an audience would turn their back on you and bet against you even when they know what you’re capable of, he would still bet your name. Those were the only times in his life that he allowed himself to not be critical.
You never lost once.
He was kind of hoping that it’d happen one more time. But you did win. The King of Spades went down, didn’t they? But why does it feel like Chishiya lost instead?
“Focus.” Chishiya pushed the book you’ve pushed away in front of you. You glared at him and put down your phone.
He easily snatches the phone from the table and put it in his pocket. “Read,” he commands, eyeing the book the professor assigned for reading.
“But it isn’t due next week,” you mumbled angrily as you leaned your head on your palm while looking down at the book’s pages. Chishiya hears this but ignores you, all too familiar with your whining.
You began reading as he wished but after five minutes of learning about anatomy, your brain starts flying away from you and your eyes start to get droopy. Your head starts getting heavy and soon starts slipping from your palm.
Chishiya sighs and without even looking up from his book, he uses the end of his pen to push your forehead up.
“Ahh,” you groan as he forbids you to fall asleep inside the library again. How could you not? It was very cozy, cold, and quiet.
“If you’re not going to study just go home.”
He knows you don’t want to go home, finding nothing but an empty house there. You’ll definitely stay.
“But it’s boring.” You whine in a whisper.
He sighs, still not looking at you. “Not my problem.”
This time, it was your turn to sigh. “Why do you even want to be a doctor? And don’t give me that to save lives bullshit, Shun. We both know you’re lying.”
He shrugs. “Just because.”
“Because?” You press further.
He finally looks at you with a glare and repeats. “Just because.”
“Because your father was one?” You ask, tilting your head.
It was the reason. There wasn’t a particular humane reason why. He just wanted to see what was so great about it—saving lives. He had more than enough intelligence to do it and it was the same thing his father devoted his life to, so why not?
“Do you not have a reason?” You ask again, this time more seriously. He doesn’t answer this time.
You smiled, looking at your book now. “I think I’m too weak to be a doctor,” you admit, lips twitching.
“I mean, I’m physically strong but mentally, I don’t think I have it. But you, I think you’ll be a great doctor, Shuntarou. You’ll save a lot of lives and help a lot of people.”
You used to have so much hope in him. You still do. But whatever slight confidence he had in himself that he’ll understand and care for people once he becomes a doctor, he lost it when he actually started to practice medicine. It wasn’t all about saving lives. It was a profession driven by greed and power.
He thought that he could just ignore it. That if he just focused on his job, he won’t be included in their greed. It was pathetic of him to think that.
A man like him who came from his father and followed his father will eventually become his father.
Ever since realizing that, he didn’t have the guts to face you. Still, you kept on cheering him on, believing he was purely saving lives. You kept on visiting him in the hospital and gave him gifts. You didn’t know he basically killed Hayato and many more people.
It was just the way it worked for him. To be honest, he envied you. You were living a double life but you were happy with that. You had a breather. He didn’t.
If you married him, you’d be tied up to a man like your father and his father. You wouldn’t want to live like that. He didn’t want you to live like that. He used to say that you’d just be a burden to him but now he knows that he just wanted better for you.
He wasn’t enough for you.
He was always afraid that one day, you’ll see how much of a pathetic man he is and pack your bags.
After the King of Diamonds game, he couldn’t escape the heavy feeling on his chest and the boggling of his mind. He didn’t feel well enough to see you. He had to figure out what it all meant.
And so this happened.
“Chi…”
He wasn’t sure if he was hallucinating because he could barely hear it. But it did come from you. Even in your state, you were still mumbling his name.
“Y/N?”
He called your name, desperate to hear your voice again. Don’t you have something to say to him?
“I…”
“Y/N.” His voice softened. You need to hear his voice to let you know he’s beside you. That way, you can tell him.
Your face was pale and dried of both sweat and tears, dust and dirt all over it. Chishiya’s jaw clenched, turning his body to yours to face you. He held the gunshot in his chest as it ached when he moved again.
“Shunta…”
This time, you say it with a frown and a scrunched forehead, indicating that you were maybe getting a bit of consciousness.
“I’m here.”
Chishiya’s expression hardened, brows furrowing as he held your hand tightly.
“I’m here,” he repeated. He felt a finger twitch against his hold. He held his breath, not blinking as he stared at your face. The few seconds that he was waiting felt a hell lot longer.
And then you smiled.
You smiled.
You smiled and then your face relaxed.
The color drained out of Chishiya’s face as he realized what was happening—what he knows is happening but his mind, letting itself be controlled by emotions for the third time that day, was hoping for a different outcome.
He hoped you weren’t just hallucinating before your last breath.
“I…” It was coming from his mouth this time.
“I love you too.”
The skies turned dark and time was a concept that Chishiya lost track of. He was still holding your hand as they turned pale.
He had his eyes on the Queen of Hearts blimp the whole time, silently wishing that Arisu and Usagi would win the game soon. He had all hopes for him. He knows that Arisu could make it.
Congratulations.
All of the games have now been cleared.
The first explosion of the blimp made him realize that he was not breathing well the whole time as if anticipating something. He let out a sigh of relief as the explosion was followed by another and another as fireworks scattered the sky.
The whole of Tokyo is surrounded by fireworks and he stares at your face illuminated by them. It was done. What now? What makes the two of you?
All surviving players will be presented with two choices. Players must now decide whether to accept permanent residence in this country or decline it. Once again, players must now decide whether to accept permanent residency or decline it.
What do you know… you do get a choice.
His hand holding yours tightens. With his other hand, he pushes away the hair that got on your face, ignoring the searing pain from his wounds.
“We’re gonna have to decline… I think.”
You have to go back with him. And when you do, he promises to himself that he won’t let anyone hurt the two of you anymore. Not himself, not yourself, not your father nor his father. No one else.
It will be just the two of you.
The last thing he remembers is he was on his way to your date. It was the last thing he wanted to do that day. He’d rather work on some patient’s case. But it was his day off and he didn’t really have anything better to do other than work.
He was walking along Shibuya when something that looked awfully like a meteor passed in the sky. Everyone looked up in awe until they realized that it was coming straight near.
And then he woke up here on the hospital bed.
The man beside him had burns all over his body. The side of his face was also burnt, Chishiya assumes as half of his face is also bandaged. He was throwing a coughing fit.
“What do you want?” The man groans as Chishiya stares at him.
“It looks to me like you’ve experienced a cardiac arrest,” Chishiya answers, vocalizing his opinion as a doctor.
“What are you, a doctor?” The stranger asks.
“Well, I did too.” He answers instead, not really wanting to tell the truth for some reason. The doctor did tell him that his heart stopped for a whole minute when he woke up so it wasn’t really a lie.
“What a coincidence.”
“So we both almost died.” Chishiya raises both his brows before asking a question that relates to him as well. “You feel any different now?”
The stranger sighed. “I don’t know. I mean, I look a lot worse. What about you?”
Chishiya takes his eyes away from the man. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my life, the choices I had to make. Pretty sure I’m gonna be turning my life around.”
With the way he lived his life, he felt like he shouldn’t be one of the people lying here on the hospital beds. There were people much better than him—people that deserved to survive more…people like you.
“Or something like that.” He continues.
He was alone when the meteor hit. But he was on his way to meet you. He couldn’t help but wonder about you. Were you okay? Were you already in the area when the meteor hit? It was the first time in his life that he actually felt scared for you. He didn’t want you to be one of the casualties of the tragedy.
“You were a piece of shit too, huh? You fucked up?”
He thought back to his life choices, the way he is as a doctor, as a son, and as a friend to you. He did fuck up. He forgot why he was doing all of these in the first place. Him being here alive, it felt like he was being given another chance. He wanted to be better. To himself and to you.
“I did.”
Niragi scoffs and sighs, halting the conversation and letting the room fall into silence again, only the light vibrating sound of the air conditioner being heard.
Chishiya asked for your name when the nurse came in. There was a lot in need of medical care but she clearly remembered your name. When he saw the familiarity in her eyes, Chishiya knew that there could only be two reasons and one certainty.
The only certainty was you were definitely here and the reasons being one, your name was well known in the medical community in Japan, and two, you were in a critical condition. Doctors and Nurses at times of tragedies like this often have a hard time remembering their patients’ names unless they’re at the top of the list of people who need immediate help.
“Ms. Y/N L/N. Do you know her?”
“Yes.”
Chishiya pauses before continuing.
“She’s my fiancée.”
The doctor agreed to let Chishiya leave the room but not before realizing who he was. On a wheelchair, Chishiya wheels himself to the ICU where he was told you are.
He has only seen you a few days before but to him, it felt like there were missing pieces that he can’t seem to figure out. He had never craved to see you like this before. He had to see you.
Chishiya pushed the wheel to turn with his palms, slowly walking the hallway of the hospital, and observing the other patients he was passing by.
He stops by a man that catches his eye. His condition looked bad and seemed to be in a coma. He sighs, at least he was lucky with what he got.
Pushing his chair again, Chishiya realizes that one of the wheels is stuck.
“Fuck,” Chishiya curses, looking down at the wheel while trying to lean his body towards the floor without opening his stitches.
“Something stuck. Here, let me help you.”
Dreadlocks come into Chishiya’s view first as she leans down and grabs something from under his chair. “There we go,” she mumbles and lifts her head, giving him a warm smile.
Chishiya raises a brow, staring at the woman’s face. Her brows rise and her smile drops in return, slightly bewildered at his ungrateful expression. It wasn’t that he wasn’t thankful. It’s just that her face looked awfully familiar and he couldn’t quite think why. It’s unsettling how he feels this way since the tragedy.
“Thank you.” He quickly drops his face back to a nonchalant one and thanks her. She rises to her feet, throwing what looked like a small piece of crumpled cardboard in the nearest trash can with ease.
“Meteor too, huh?” She asks, scratching the back of her head. Chishiya nodded, looking at her from head to toe. It doesn’t seem like she’s in a bad condition seeing as she can still walk with her two feet.
“Yeah, it’s not that bad for me.” She quickly notices what Chishiya meant by his look. “Although they said my heart stopped for like a minute. I’m Kuina, by the way.”
“Chishiya,” he introduces himself. “They told me my heart stopped too. So did the one I’m sharing my room with.”
“Huh. That’s weird.” Kuina pursed her lips, crossing her arms. “So, ‘ya know anyone here?”
Chishiya nodded, a bit confused as to why he was keeping a conversation with a complete stranger yet he answers. “Yeah. I’m looking for my fiancée.”
Kuina evidently pauses, a little shocked by the information. That could only mean that his fiancée is in critical condition if she’s on this floor. She nods and asks. “Do you need help? I can wheel you to them.”
Oddly enough, Chishiya lets her. His new acquaintance pushes his wheelchair slowly as he eyes the names on the doors of the single-bed ICUs. The hospital they were in was quite large and no doubt owned by your father. He’s quite surprised you weren’t transferred to a VIP one yet. Was your condition that bad?
“Wait.” He stops Kuina as he sees that familiar name on the side of the sliding glass door.
Y/N L/N
“She’s here.”
He could see clearly from outside. You were there, on the bed enclosed by protective transparent curtains. A weirder feeling settles on his chest and then he finally feels it. He finally finds what he lost along the way—what he craved to feel again.
Care. Despair. Agony. He finally understands as a tear falls from his eye.
He loves you.
© wolfvmin. please do not copy, translate, claim any of my works. my works are cross-posted only in ao3 under the name vantantae. thank you.
#chishiya x reader#chishiya imagine#chishiya smut#chishiya fanfic#chishiya x you#chishiya x fem!reader#chishiya shuntaro#nijiro murakami
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