No matter how horrid and despicable the abuse is, the abusers will always insist it's all because of you. It's because you're doing something wrong, you're not doing good enough for them, you don't love them enough, you don't love them unconditionally, you're not showing that you love them through obedience enough, you're not considerate enough, and if only, if only you had more love for them, understanding and dedication and loyalty, then things would be fine and nothing bad would ever happen.

They convince you that this is the one ultimate truth and you almost can't escape it because their entire logic is warped around what YOU did to cause this, to cause them to snap and hurt you. They create this fictional world where potentially no abuse would happen if only you acted differently, almost as if it was under your control, whether they abuse you or not.

You can get lost in that world where your actions all have unpredictable, horrible and painful consequences, you can try to change your behaviour in a million ways to try and get different results, you can run yourself ragged trying to please the abuser to make them less hostile, and they still abuse you, and you still feel like nothing will ever be good enough, like you are not good enough.

And that's because their logic makes no sense. A person who loves you wouldn't do this to you. They wouldn't hurt you for anything. They wouldn't want you to suffer. They wouldn't consider themselves an authority over whether you've deserved pain or not, you would never deserve pain in their eyes.

A person who loves you and cares about you does not want you to run yourself ragged trying to please them. They don't want to train you into obedience, they don't find your worth equal to how much you're useful to them, they don't see you as a toy to manipulate into as much work as possible. The person who would do this to you hates you so intensely and so cruelly, you're not even real to them. They don't even see you as a person. And you know it, because after this type of treatment, you don't see yourself as a person either, you only see something to be used as a resource and discard at will, this is not who you are!

Compassion, humanizing, comfort, warmth, concern, care about your emotions, care about your experience of life, care for your well being, your happiness, your confidence, your quality of life, your dreams and goals, your happiness, your desires, freedom, passion, excitement, enjoyment, love can't exist without all that. That's what makes you feel like a person, that's what love is. Not being trained and dehumanized. Not being judged and punished because your best is not enough for someone. Not being blamed and scrutinized when you're in pain. That's the deepest hatred a person can hold for you, that's desire to torture you.

It doesn't matter if you're not good enough for this person because you were never meant to be a resource or a property. You were never meant to be used. You are good enough to laugh with, to spend time with, to adore, to comfort and to play with, to hold memories with someone, to be seen and heard and appreciated, to be held special in someone's heart. That's what you're meant for and this person is failing you. You don't have to be anything for them. They don't deserve to have anyone to use.

but also like. guys you don’t need to leave the minecraft youtube community bc one person is bad to clarify. like. shelby is a minecraft youtuber. a lot of her friends are minecraft youtubers. those friends are supportive and as far as we know all believe her. the vast majority of minecraft youtubers are like. fine. this shit is something that Happens because Abusers are Manipulative, going to another hobby will Not shield you from anything and you’re not immoral for liking something bad people also liked. which is. one of the biggest video games ever. like in this situation no one was knowingly harbouring an abuser and it seems everyone was supportive. this is just a case of some people being shit, not anything to do with mcyt. hell, the guy hasn’t been on minecraft in like a year lmao.

i fully understand why the content might be uncomfortable to you guys now but like, please don’t self flagellate and cut yourself off from an entire genre of media because of one guy again. i saw that happen after the dream stuff and a lot of people ended up losing important things because they made rash decisions and felt like they Had to leave. but please. take one deep fucking breath. this has happened before. this has happened so much before, and in ways far worse than this. because abusers, unfortunately, exist. you should not feel guilty for being manipulated by a manipulative abuser, don’t blame yourself. do what you have to, but please, please keep in mind that the majority of minecraft youtube is fine. it is fine to continue engaging with it. it’s fine to be manipulated by an abuser and it’s not your fault. please don’t make rash decisions and end up losing things you care deeply about and being unable to get them back. distance yourself all you want, but please be careful to not do so out of emotional self harm from the guilt. that’s something this fandom encourages far too much- even outside of this- and it’s unhealthy and anyone expecting it of you is cruel.

I've got men arguing that there's no power imbalance between Caiti's friend (a 20 year old intoxicated woman with a small platform) and Dream and George (26/7 year old men who were still fairly sober with huge platforms) in Dream's literal hotel room.

Because there's "no sexist power imbalance between adult women and adult men".

I am BEGGING for you to think critically about sexism here.

I will say that I am extremely sorry for bringing my discussion of this situation to my blog where I'm aware that none of my followers (save for like... 4 friends who I already talk about how much I hate Dream) really want to see, but I do just want to rant about how purely disgusting this man has been as of late.

We all become aware of yet another victim of his, an underaged fan that he was acting sexually towards (a 16-17 year old whilst he was 20), someone who has contacted the proper authorities and after contacting them, posted video proof that Dream had sent the victim a SnapChat video of him moaning and saying that he wants to "fill (them) up", and says previously that Dream was in possession of CSEM, and he calls the person calling him out an "not mentally stable individual" and that "it's from a person who hates (his) guts" because 1) of course he would default to saying "oh she's crazy don't believe her" that every perpetrator loves to say, and 2) of course the kid you were acting sexual towards hates your guts. Of course a friend of someone whom you sexted when they were 16-17 and you 20 would hate your guts. That is typical behaviour of a friend — my friends hate my sexual abusers' guts. I would be upset if they didn't.

He actually confirms that he had contact with this teen, says that they "were in an awkward and weird relationship with (his) ex-girlfriend" — who is known for... also grooming his underaged fans to get sexual material from them — and still tries to paint himself as the victim. He says, verbatim, "I made the mistake of being intimate with with this completely above age friend years ago, and haven't talked to them in years", however the individual is currently 20. A few years ago, when he still had contact with his ex, the victim would have been 16-17. He doesn't deny that this happened, does not write it off, and yet still says that it is only being brought up to "kick him while (he's) down". He is a truly despicable individual, and it's sickening that he still has millions of fans whom will stay defending him, and whom still actively defend him even now. He said that the middleman (the person who made the burner account/talking publicly about it) screen recorded the video yesterday, however the victim had these videos back in 2019, when they would have been underaged.

He makes "jokes" about he, himself, liking minors, even with all this being known. The first time someone came forward, he said that it was the individual hating him. The second time, it was accusing them of defamation. This time, it's "they want to kick me while I'm down". He is vile. And this is not even counting everything else we already know about him.

I've been debating on whether or not I'm even going to bother watching season 7 of bnha at this point. Though if I do, I'll probably just watch until Bakugo's "death" and pretend the rest didn't happen and make up my own ending. I want to see the Midoriya and Todoroki scene where Todoroki thanks him and smiles while saying his quirk is his power! Maybe I'll just stop when we get that scene instead. I adore those boys they deserve better than what they got in canon.

Something else that makes me sympathetic to Pharma's situation is like. Idk if there's an actual term for this or if someone smarter and more academic wrote it about some real life context that actually matters.

But, so we've already established among Pharma stans that the circumstances at Delphi were blackmail/torture with no real way out that wouldn't involve Pharma being responsible for people getting killed (either killing patients for the deal or having everyone die bc he failed his end of the deal).

And I feel like while "he's still in the wrong because he killed people" is part of it, another sort of implicit part is the idea that Pharma should've been willing to take more personal risk, maybe even risk dying? I mean, Ratchet does ask "why didn't you just detonate it near the DJD" (to which Pharma responds that he did try to get Sonic and Boom to do it, but they refused) so like

Idk I feel like we do have this social notion of martyrs as a very romantic ideal, people you can praise for being so brave and strong and righteous that they ended their own lives for their cause, while you can also coo about how sad and tragic it is that dying is what it took for them to do the right thing. But at the same time I feel like in reality, having an expectation that people become martyrs is kind of a toxic social norm bc like. It's very easy to demand that others sacrifice their lives for some Ultimate Moral Good when you yourself aren't experiencing the same hardships as they are. And ultimately it is kind of fucked up to tell someone "the moral thing you should've done was risk your life/kill yourself" because asking someone to pay their life to do the right thing is no small request. And sure, the typical response would be to call them a "coward" for caring more about saving their own skin instead of doing the right thing... but again, death is a really scary thing and self-preservation is a really strong instinct, so it kind of feels like having this binary view of "you're either a Brave Hero who sacrifices your life for everyone else or a Dirty Coward who's too scared of dying to do what's right" is kind of fucked up?

I guess the best way to describe it is that if someone willingly gives up their life as a sacrifice to others, it can be a noble thing because it's a choice they made willingly, but if it becomes a Moral Standard that in order to be a Good Person you have to be unafraid of throwing your life away and if you aren't willing to die you're a Cowardly Bad Person, that's when it becomes toxic.

Idk, I guess how this ties back to Pharma is that he was never in a position where he expected to make these kinds of moral decisions/ultimatums. He's a doctor who doesn't even get into combat, his job is to heal and not to kill, he's behind the front lines in a hospital that's supposed to be a safe, neutral place for him to heal people. So in the face of suddenly having a "murder people on behalf of me, or I murder everyone you swore to protect" ultimatum thrust upon him, I understand why Pharma wasn't """"""""""brave enough"""""""""" to "do the right thing" (whatever that would've been in the case of Delphi). You could argue that maybe a frontliner soldier accepted the burden of possibly dying for their cause and they've become used to it as someone who lives that reality every single day, but I feel like for Pharma, who's a doctor and a protected non-combatant (from what we can tell), that sort of risking of his life/living with the fact his life could be snuffed out any day isn't something he would've been prepared for at all.

And for me personally, from an outsider's perspective, it strikes me as kind of unethical to go "oh well he should've just detonated the bomb himself even if it killed him" bc again, there's a difference between witnessing a moral conundrum as a bystander versus being the person living with it and being under time pressure where it's do-or-die. Just as part of my personal standards, I feel like death is such a huge consequence/burden of someone's actions (literally you are no longer alive, any potential you had left is cut short, you cease to exist on this plane) that it feels rather callous to go "Well you should've just been willing to die for your beliefs if you really cared that much!!!"

#if you had any hope nick could ever be redeemable here's your sign that that's just not gonna happen

Bold of you to assume we don't want to make him worse

LMAO that's the spirit

when will said it was "strange knowing who it was this whole time" and "he's hurt, he's hurting, but he's still alive" was he not talking about henry? am i insane? did i misinterpret that scene? why are we acting like will is connected to anyone other than henry bro what is Happening 😭

that was henry that shaped the mind flayer into that spider-like form and it was henry that used it to possess will and it was henry's thoughts that will was experiencing against his will and it's henry that he's still feeling because the connection/"vecna's curse" hasn't been broken. they physically extracted the mind flayer from will's body, yes, but his connection to henry was never broken. henry can't exercise complete and total control over people without the mind flayer's power, which is why will has free will over his body but his mind remains connected to henry.

the characters, and by extension the viewers, thought it was the mind flayer behind everything, because they didn't know what season four revealed to us.

henry wanted to control will's mind and body—a complete and entire violation of everything will is. that was Not the mind flayer, and they tell us that more than once. with all love and respect what are some of you on about because you're starting to make me feel like my memory is genuinely broken or something lmao like i thought.... the big reveal was that it's always been henry? they literally say that? eleven, henry, and will all confirm it? the mind flayer was not a separate entity acting alone... thus will has beef with henry most of all because henry's violation of his mind and body is still ongoing... Where Are You Guys Getting Your Information From 😭 hELP

will's rape—because that's what possession is, he never consented to having his mind and body controlled by anyone else—is an important part of stranger things; both to the general plot and will's character. to say that will only has beef with the mind flayer and not henry is reducing what henry did to him and reassigning blame that very much falls on henry's shoulders. henry was controlling the mind flayer and henry is the one still in will's mind. henry used the mind flayer to have control over will. henry and will are connected. the show literally tells us that over and over again. when you decide to needlessly reassign blame, not only are you misunderstanding and misconstruing the plot, but you're also... not understanding what happened to will at all. like, what really happened to him and how that's used in the show.

henry very likely was the one that kidnapped will. henry is the one that will has a psychic connection to. henry is the one that raped will / possessed him if you prefer that term instead and used the mind flayer to do it. henry is the one that will still knows like the back of his hand, because henry is the one that's still in his head. it's not the mind flayer. it's henry. please stop saying that will doesn't have more than enough reason to want to kill his ass. please!!!

I know people are going to dislike me saying this and it's why I usually wouldn't and often go out of my way to not use the word but- Eggman has extremely obvious abusive behaviors. he has consistently been blatantly verbally, physically, and emotionally/mentally abusive in the games. and how often this is denied, downplayed, excused, or ignored while he's made out to be a great person makes me uncomfortable.

fans' idea that he's the one who was abused based on a line in a memo that doesn't actually state that at all (and just points to his arrogance, ego, and entitlement) and that he's "breaking the cycle of abuse in the family with Sage" even he didn't actually do anything with her at all is deeply uncomfortable. especially because he's only actually exhibited the exact opposite officially.

not to mention that I also find it uncomfortable how people seem to be really eager to assign a past of abuse to such an evil man, as I'd hate for yet another implication that being abused can turn you into someone so evil and how it's an overdone bad stereotype. also I just don't like to think of him being abused at all for any reason and I'm so glad they haven't actually implied it.

his behaviors don't and shouldn't have a justification or explanation to sympathize with and it's concerning to me that people really want it. it's hard not to speak on it. I understand people being uncomfortable with this aspect of his character but I don't think downplaying it in any way is the way to go about it if you are as it has many bad implications when framed that way.

I hope people can understand why I'm saying this and that I'm also just telling it as I see it

I know that they're Fictional Characters but I don't think ever squinted harder at a post than someone saying "none of this would've happened if (movie) Vanessa just snitched on her dad as a kid" . Like,,,,, dude

Live action AU- belos actually didn’t have control of his goop form, so he 🥺didnt mean to harm his dear nephew🥺

(yes, used as an attempt to redeem him)

It was Hunter's fault, actually, for setting off the curse that poor Belos couldn't control

it's wild because over the years i've gone from shipping nive with some degree or other of fluff/happy endings (or at least hopeful ones; or if it does end badly, it's due to external factors) to just unabashedly wanting them to make each other Worse

The Monster Falls Apart & The Monster Exposed: forehead kisses and touches

saying ririka "quite literally emotionally abuses" shima is an insane thing to say like woah? i thought this was a classy party?

One of the best resources on bullying I ever read fully admitted that often times the way someone acts will encourage others to bully them. It's so rare to see that in a bullying resource giving a level of responsibility to the victim themselves. And in this day and age, saying something like that would be considered bad. "Are you saying that this person is asking to get bullied!?" No, of course not. Nobody asks to get bullied. However, you are responsible for the way you act. If you act in ways that encourage bullying, you share part of the blame because you are drawing them to you.

And that's the thing with bullies like... If you notice bullying victims, 9 out of 10 times, they're variations of literally the same person. People that take things way too seriously that openly show their emotions straight on their face. You'll rarely see bullies going after other archetypes of people.

And someone can say, "But this is their personality! Especially for young children, you can't just change the way they act!!" And yes, that's true. But as a parent and educator, you can teach children how to properly respond to bullies. You can encourage them to have more self-respect. You can help them see the role they themselves as the victim play.

So much bully advice is bullshit. "Go to the teacher for help." That basically puts a bandaid on a gaping wound. It doesn't solve the problem. "Tell the bully to stop." See above. "Laugh it off." Did you literally not just see how I said bully victims take things too seriously? Parents will move their children to a different school and their child gets bullied there as well. Like???

If you keep getting bullied, eventually there will reach some point where you gotta realize that the only common denominator in your situation is you. There is something you are doing which is attracting bullies like flies to honey. And in the end, if you can't change the bullies, the only thing you can change is yourself.

Need more Liam and Jesse headcanons

You write men way too fine

It’s not good for my health

I can only ever date fictional men now. You’ve ruined me. I hope you’re happy

I live to ruin people and their perception of love

But yes I can. And I’ll also share more lore on Liam Isbert.

Yandere Headcanons: Happy Family

Yandere single father and Yandere platonic stepson

Getting used to living with Liam and Jesse was strange. First you had been abducted to live with the two of them. You do not ever expect to play happy family after you yourself had went through an abusive relationship.

For many years, you had been scared to love again. So this is all very new to you. You did not expect to be loved so intensely by a father and son who are so desperate for love to the point they’d abduct you from your life to be in theirs.

Liam often bought you roses to try to make up for your abduction. He would take you on dates and clumsily attempt romantic endeavors with you. Such as fancy diner dates with exquisite clothes you could never dream to afford. Or he would take you and Jesse on vacation to tropical Islands. The world was at Liam‘s fingertips… you had no idea a man could be so wealthy.

Jesse often snuck into your room to sleep beside you. The young boy desperate for your affection. He’d always bring a book with him so you could read to him every night.

Jesse often would want to try to get you to help him tie his shoes or cut his crusts off his sandwiches too. He’d even try to get you to style his hair for him, he adored your love more than anyone. And he wasn’t happy about you shying away from him and his dad. Couldn’t you just accept them?

Liam never touched you in ways that made you uncomfortable (save for that kiss many months ago before he took you home). Liam was apologetic about his actions but he didn’t want to return you… he too was scared by a relationship

In confidence, Liam shared with you his trauma without Jesse present. It turned out that Liam was assaulted by a woman who wished to be involved with the Isbert family at a dinner party his father organized. From that traumatizing night, Jesse was conceived and that woman did her best to threaten Liam to pay her or she’d ruin his name.

Liam was lucky she had died during childbirth but his experience with her made it hard for him to bond with Jesse. He knows that Jesse was not to blame and was just as much a victim as him, but Liam saw snippet of Jesse’s mother in him.

Liam was so grateful to you for showing him how to love and move past his trauma. That he wished to do the same for you despite not knowing much about comfort.

Liam truly wants a happy relationship and he’s willing to give you as much time as you need to accept him, but he won’t give you back your freedom. Liam has too many enemies and snakes that desire your spot, you could be killed and he’d never forgive himself for that…

It takes a few more months for you to open up to trying a relationship with Liam and he’s over the moon.

Liam is a bit clumsy as a lover, but he’s trying. He’s turned off his emotions for so many years and he’s not used to expressing them in a healthy manner so you’ll have to teach him how to love

Over all, he’s not a horrible husband and father. Liam is very easy to guide and teach.

And Jesse is just thrilled to finally have you as his mommy. He finally has the happy family he had dream about since he was three.