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sixosix · 2 days

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HE BUILT A FIRE JUST TO KEEP ME WARM | LYNEY

notes wc 2.5k, a LOT of talking. but i hope you can enjoy:)) because im so nervous to post this

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“So that’s your decision. Alright.”

…That’s it?

The confusion on your face must have shown. Arlecchino casts a glance and smiles in her own way, only a ghost of it.

The ease of her answer feels like walls cracking, chipping slowly one by one, then collapsing altogether. It’s such a surreal, nearly maddening feeling. The glaring reminder that it has always been your choice dawns on you. So that’s it.

“I don’t want to chain you to the throne.” How embarrassing it is to realize that you were the one chaining yourself in, locking it in place, and suffering from the weight of it this entire time.

‘Father’ accepts it; it’s about time you did, too.

“Alright,” you echo numbly, lagging from disbelief.

As it turns out, the teacup in Rosalie’s hands had been the poison ‘Father’ was offering. She wanted to show Rosalie what it looked like, but Rosalie’s answer was pretty clear when she flung it away the moment you entered the room.

‘Father’ offers the cup meant for you, and you inspect it nervously. The glass feels fragile and smooth to the touch. The fate of your future, your memories, the people you’ve met that have led you all the way here, your entire being—

All in one cup.

You already gave your answer. It took a good minute, but still, it was the quickest choice you’ve made yet. The ‘tea’ seemed tempting for a split second: an easy way out, a free restart button. You know better now, though. Arlecchino’s showing you mercy, and Rosalie’s giving you a choice.

You look up at Arlecchino, uncertainty in your nerves. “But I can’t go back here?”

Arlecchino tilts her head. “You mean to return here as a child of the House?” She chuckles shortly. “Of course not.”

Oh. Ah, well. That is to be expected.

“Why would you be? You’re not an orphan anymore, are you not?” Arlecchino’s gaze swings pointedly at Rosalie’s direction, who is talking animatedly to Freminet. Freminet blushes as Rosalie coos and frets over him like she does to you.

You find yourself smiling fondly, then promptly realize that this is what Arlecchino means. You have a new home now, with Rosalie.

“So I guess this is really my goodbye to the House?” you mutter, feeling limp suddenly.

Arlecchino gently places her clawed hand on your head. You stiffen for a tense moment but eventually relax into it, realizing that this could be the last time she would even see you as her child, even when you weren’t a long time ago.

“It’s been your goodbye when you left,” she reminds you coolly.

Your shoulders slump in defeat.

“But I’m sure the children still see you as family, and you would be our most important guest of all,” Arlecchino says, looking ahead. “Don’t underestimate their love for you, even if you’ve already forgotten them.”

“I don’t think I could ever forget my first home even if I tried,” you laugh, a little bittersweet thing.

“Then still feel welcomed here, on behalf of their feelings.”

Her voice isn’t gentle, nor does she assume to be part of the House that would want you back—she still wears that cold detachment in her words, but you know her. You know this is the closest she can give you. You want to hug her, pull her in, and bury your face in like a child, but again, you know her. Arlecchino doesn’t like things like that—so you’ll settle for sniffling and pretending like you aren’t crying.

“Thank you for everything, ‘Father’,” you whisper, voice quivering.

She doesn’t say anything in return, but her gaze is more open. It’s enough of an answer for you.

“Come,” Arlecchino calls out, her voice ringing clearly and making everyone halt to listen. “Let us meet up with Tartaglia; it’s about time he arrived.”

The warmth of her hand slips off as she walks out. You would’ve chased after it, but Rosalie comes dashing over and squishing your cheeks until your lips are puckered. Freminet spares you a secretive smile before he runs after Arlecchino and your vision is swallowed by Rosalie’s worried face.

“Ma chérie,” she coos. “You’re really sure about your decision? I promise I won’t get mad if you stay with Miss Arlecchino!”

“Maman, you’re my home now,” you say. “I’m already grateful that you still choose to keep me. I know it’ll be difficult to adjust—”

“Nonsense.” Rosalie releases your cheek, only to pinch one gently. Her face is stern, daring you to finish. “I’ve raised you as my own long enough; what’s years more? But this time, you share with me, okay? Whatever danger lies ahead of you, I want to be a part of.”

The waterworks continue. “O-Okay.”

You’re positively drained, tired, and fatigued when the long hand strikes 10 in the evening. You yawn, then lay flat on the grass, the blades of green tickling, but that’s the least of your worries. Paimon flutters around unsurely before eventually settling on Aether’s side. Aether smiles stiffly, all tense and awkward, as he pats your arm in comfort but doesn’t even touch you.

You eye his gloved hand. “Do you think I’m going to bite you or something?”

“I— I don’t know!” Aether says, sounding genuinely distressed.

“I already apologized.”

Aether grimaces. “That’s the thing. I don’t feel like I deserve it. If anything, I should be begging for forgiveness for even blackmailing you.”

You shrug. “You can’t blackmail me anymore. Maman already knows.”

“Still…”

“Aether,” you give him a helpless smile that has him blinking dumbly in awe. “I’m the one who gained everything here. I couldn’t even give you anything even when I was supposed to help you.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Aether murmurs in embarrassment. “You led me to The Knave. We have a meeting tomorrow about my sister—fingers crossed she knows something.”

“I hope the best for you,” you say lightheartedly.

Aether smiles weakly, a little unsettled by this sudden act of kindness. “So what’s your plan from now on?”

“In the eyes of the public, The Knave transferred me out of her care and assigned me to Master Childe. In reality, I don’t have to leave anything behind by staying with the Fatui. Master Childe will be training me personally, and I can be of aid to the House whenever they need it—I just wouldn’t be one of the orphans anymore.”

Aether hums thoughtfully. “So you’re going to leave Fontaine?”

“Only for a bit. I’m taking maman with me, but I would still get homesick, so I’d convince Master Childe to drop by now and then.”

Aether laughs softly. “I guess we’ll be seeing each other occasionally.”

You stare at him momentarily, wondering what would’ve happened to you if you never met him. “If anything, I should thank you, Aether. Your friendship with Master Childe made me an easy ally for him. I don’t know where I would’ve gone if it weren’t for him volunteering.”

Aether waves dismissively. “It’s nothing. I’m sure Childe’s excited to spar with you. I really did nothing.”

You hug him.

Aether is frozen for about two minutes before Paimon nudges him, and he reboots back into life by throwing his arms around you and squeezing you into a hug. It holds the same warmth as Arlecchino’s sweet gesture, so you stay like that for a little while. You gesture for Paimon to join in, and she beams and envelops your heads with her tiny arms.

At least until Aether drops his arms and suddenly looks anxious. “Okay, we should stop before Lyney hears about this again.”

Your heart jumps out of your throat at the mention of that name.

Right… You need to talk to him next.

Aether seems to know what’s going on in your head and grins. “Good luck.”

It’s the next day. You haven’t heard of Lyney nor Lynette since Rosalie’s kidnapping, and you realize belatedly that they’re giving you space. Or perhaps just straight-up avoiding you. You don’t know which is easier.

With the help of Aether, you stand face to face with the house they moved into once they were adults. It’s small and blended in with all the rest, but the cat blinking up at you slowly in a hat was surely a rarity.

“Hello, kitty,” you say.

The cat responds with a slow, measured blink.

It’s the cat from the party Lyney invited you, but that has led to a series of unfortunate, humiliating events that you’d rather forget, so to you, the cat has done nothing.

“May I come in?” you ask politely as if expecting a proper, eloquent response.

The cat meows and then starts scratching on their door. The worn marks on the bottom of the door imply that this isn't the cat's first time either. One, two, three— Then you’re faced with Lynette, who has that expression on her face that seems to say she had been expecting you, but you were a little late.

“Y/N,” she says as the cat saunters inside.

“Hey, Lynette,” you say, playing with your fingers. “Sorry about… lashing out yesterday.”

Lynette tilts her head. “I was never upset about that. I was simply worried about you—you’re family to me, too.”

Your chest aches. “Lynette…”

She steps aside, gesturing vaguely. “Come inside. Lyney is probably fixing himself up in his room; we’ll give him three minutes.”

“He has a show?”

“No. He’s meeting you,” Lynette says, then doesn’t clarify. She walks in calm strides toward the kitchen. “Want some tea?”

“Um, yes, please.”

Their home looks well-worn in a loved way, with trinkets sprinkled everywhere. There are different models of Lyney’s hats displayed on a shelf, which you find endearing. You ask Lynette about the cat, which she tells you goes by the name Rosseland, an assistant to their shows and their beloved pet, and the cause for the mountain of hats in their home.

It’s a little terrifying how easily she indulges you in conversation, just as with Arlecchino. She resembles ‘Father’ in that way. You feel like you aren’t deserving of their mercy. Lynette should be angry at you; you hurt them by being selfish. Instead, Lynette pours you tea and smiles.

“You seem uneasy,” Lynette observes, sipping.

“Well, I think you know the reason why.”

Lynette shakes her head. “There’s no reason to be. If you think I forgave easily, Lyney has forgiven you long ago.”

“That’s awful.”

Lynette smiles. “I think it’s special. We’re twins, Lyney and I, but I think if I were in his body for even a day, I wouldn’t be able to recreate what you two have. He treasures you deeply, more than you know.”

Speechless, your mouth hangs open. “That’s…”

A door bursts open, and a disheveled Lyney emerges, looking around in confusion until his gaze finally settles on you. He breathes out. You straighten up under the full intensity of his undivided attention, just like it had always been.

“Seven minutes,” Lynette says impatiently.

Lyney flushes, embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”

Lynette sighs, then turns to you. “Go on. Go to him.”

What! Why do you have to be the one to move? You want to voice your complaints, but Lyney is already moving aside to give you space through his doorway.

You cast a fearful look at Lynette, but she avoids your gaze as if expecting it. Betrayed, you shuffle through the living room and brush past Lyney, into his room. It’s messier than the rest of their house, with makeup, clothes, and props. But you find it endearing—it’s Lyney’s room and reflects him.

“Sorry,” Lyney says. Before you could interrupt, he clarifies: “I couldn’t clean this all up properly before you came over.”

But you had time to fix yourself up? You want to ask in amusement, but you settle for shaking your head instead. You’ve visited to apologize, not bully him more.

“I’m sorry, too,” you say. “For the way I treated you yesterday—no, the entire time we were together, I mean.”

Lynney coughs, turning redder. “I know you are. And you know that I forgive you.”

Just like Lynette had said. “You shouldn’t.”

“It’s my feelings, you know.”

At the mention of feelings, you suddenly recall a few words he said in the heat of the moment and suddenly find yourself flustered, squirming on the bed. As if hearing what you’re thinking, Lyney flinches and stumbles back, his face layers and layers of red.

“I still mean it, though,” Lyney stammers out.

“Mean what?”

“My… confession,” he trails off lamely, blushing like a maiden.

You blink in surprise. “I thought you were just saying that to make me stay?”

At the moment in the flower shop, you had a feeling you knew what he was going to say as if you were reading it from a book, and the sequence would go as follows: Your heart was not the first for Lyney to steal. But there was Rosalie, there was ‘Father’, there was the throne, and believing that Lyney was just using whatever he could to get what he wanted again seemed better.

“What?” Lyney’s face falls, horrified. “No, no, of course not! You asked me why I would go to… lengths for you, and I answered honestly.”

“Oh.”

Lyney frowns. “Y/N, I knew I couldn’t make you stay, but I still wanted to say it.”

You find yourself struggling to keep contact with his eyes all of a sudden. “So you meant it? You actually really like me?”

“Yes,” Lyney says, so painfully sure of himself that your face bursts into flames.

You can’t handle the sight of his eagerness laid bare just for you—vulnerable, open, and unapologetically honest.

“I’m not easy to love, you know.”

“A little bit late for the warning.” Lyney smiles sadly. “I love you anyway.”

“Even when I’m like this?”

Lyney tilts his head. “This is just one of the many reasons I’m helplessly devoted to you. There’s really no use in trying to push me away, you know. We’ll find each other again eventually— Are you crying?”

Lyney stutters and frets over you like Rosalie does when you’ve iced yourself to her plants. It’s a little funny, so you give him a pathetic, wet laugh.

“W-Was it something I said? Was it too soon? I’m sorry. Pretend you didn’t hear anything. Fuck, I’m so bad at this.” Lyney groans, burying his face in his hands and continuing his self-criticism.

“Shut up for a bit, Lyney.”

He shuts up right away.

You draw closer to him, wiping your tears away. His breathing halts and his eyes have been swallowed up, pupils dilated. You pause until you can feel his breath on your face, looking up at him for permission. Lyney nods but seems confused, so you just show him.

‘Father’, Aether, and Rosalie have their own kind of warmth, but kissing Lyney is entirely different. It feels as if he’s burning you from within, from your cheeks down to your toes, in a pleasant shiver.

notes last chapter next:( I AM KIND OF SAD ACTUALLY

taglist moved to comments because Tumblris strange

#606: THAWED #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #lyney x reader #lyney x you #lyney x y/n

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jackalopenecropsy · 3 days

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ok i'll indulge myself....

part 1(?) of biker gang!141 and an interesting fem grunge!reader... if u want more

cw; slight mentions of blood

The streets were pretty quiet this time of night. The only sounds to be heard were barking dogs or tires occasionally skidding in the distance. And the teenagers were never out this late in the fall, as school just started or they were working their dead jobs at the gas station or high school graduates pouring the same 5 drinks at a bar.

You liked walking around- even though it was maybe 1 or 2 in the morning- mainly because you had your scary guard dog with you, (who wasn't even a bit scary, he was just a police academy dropout with a fear of cotton swabs and squirrels) but also because the air this time of year smelled the best. It did wonders for your skin and sinuses, so why not? Walking around in the daytime was a lot more of a chore anyways, teenagers skating sporradically with fruity vapes on necklaces or older men just leaving their blue collar jobs for lunch while staring at you with unreadable expressions.

The northwoods, sigh. You'd told yourself that you'd leave it all the time when you were a kid. Over the years, a mix of the economy making that absolutely impossible and an aquirement of taste for small-town life made it a lot easier to accept the impossibility of it. Bartending and eventually being remote in editorial work kept you afloat in the small house you'd been able to buy flat out in the south side of town.

That part of town was just cemeteries and neighborhoods, neighborhoods and railroads, and gas stations and bars. As most south sides were. Another luxury of living where you lived was the copious amounts of streets and drag-worthy strips of old highway that laid for miles in one direction or another.

You used to work as a freelance flag girl for drag racers on some shitty craigslist copy, but quit l because the only racers that wanted you were full of white-claw drunk young assholes rooting for douchebag car modders who compensated for their dick sizes by throttling so hard that the pop of their exhausts sounded like gunfights. It was too loud and to risky and too tasteless.

But in the ends of the summer, it was taken over by the bikers. Not bicycle-bikers, but motorcyclists.

You were absolutely terrible at hiding your drooling depraved stares at every single one of them. The young women in skin-clad leather and red lipstick with matching sleek bikes, the finer-aged older men in their lean-back harleys with bandanas, the cute guys your age in their blackout helmets and their modestly-modded bikes. Oh, the variety, oh the taste. You had once thought about picking up biking yourself, but when you told your friends they all cackled at the idea. You were too absent minded at times; definitely from all the weed you smoked. Only half embarassed, you agreed.

Tonight was no different than the other nights of early Septembers before. Your dog lapped his tongue in the air catching stray dew drops falling from leaves overhead as you took your time walking accross the street. He swayed his tail so hard that you almost got knocked over a few times. The sound of a motorcyle revving in the distance made you slow your speed to a halt, listening intently, shamefully to see if you could get any bit of eye candy while out.

You recognized the sound of the engine, which soon became engines as the sounds came closer.

'Oh... a group of Kawaskis?? No... that's at least two more different motorcyles, but a few Kawaskis.. Do I hear a Harley?'

You blinked to yourself before shaking your head.

'God fucking damnit, you geek. You should NOT be able to tell what motorcyle model someone's riding from the fucking engine.'

Before you can shamefully walk back towards your house, you feel your dog tug harshly at his leash. You try to hold him back, but he yanks with one solid push of his back paws on the blacktop, and before you know it, you're hands and knees down on the hard ground as he's running full speed towards the sound of the motorcycles.

You groan in frustration as you stand up in a small bit of pain, your fishnets torn to shit as your palms and knees are scraped just enough to bleed a reasonable amount for getting launched by a 90 lb dog of muscle.

"Riley!" You shout and run at him, dodging a few trash cans along the street's edge as you do so. "Riley, goddamnit! Come back! Here boy!" Your converse were broken in enough to give you good ground as you chased him, and you almost grab his loose leash dragging behind him- until you trip over your own feet again just before you do.

You stay on the ground this time, unworried for your dog, as he's a big boy who knows how to not get hit by a car or get lost. More focused on the soul-eating embarassment of being outrun by a dog with more anxiety than a war veteran, and tripping twice in the process. You ignore the growing and stalling sound of engines beside- or in front, you can't tell being face down in the gravel- you as you're grovelling.

"Eh... excuse me miss? Are you alright?" You hear a gruff, dark voice mumble from just above you. You whip your head up to look at 5 people in bikers helmets just in front of you, their motorcyles off or stalling as they stand looking down at you on the ground.

"Oh- oh my- uh yeah- don't worry about me I'm great. I just tripped- nothing serious." You wave them off as you try and cover the growing fluster on your face. You stand and shake the dirt off your hands before swiping it off of your zip up, shaking it out of your gloves too. You look up to see none other than Riley, sitting contently behind the man in front of you, eagerly being pet by one of the bikers with a skull design painted onto his helmet and visor.

"Riley!" The biker looks up and your dog wags his tail hard enough to knock the bikers over too, and barks at you. "You are so not going to get any treats when we get home." He whines and continues barking, then twirls in a circle.

"You're dog's name is Riley?" The man in the skull helmet asks- and you suddenly become hyperaware of how all of the bikers are staring so intently at you. And those that have spoken so far have sickeningly thick English accents.

"Ah- yes, yeah. I was just on a walk and I heard you guys from the other street- but he just loves motorcylists so much, he took off on me. Usually he just waits until they pass us by. I'm so so sorry if he got in your way or anything." You scramble to try and seem somewhat normal as you switch between standing like a deer in their headlights, and holding your arms as the wind blew against your back.

"Ain't that a funny coincidence." The biker next to him stated, his accent thicker, and different. Possibly scottish.

"You watch it- It is a good name for a dog like this." The skull-helmet points an authoritative finger at the scot before patting Riley's head again. The man in front of you laughs heartily and takes his helmet off, revealing an older- FINELY aged man with hair in a short, short pulled back light brown and gray spotted ponytail. His mustache pulled down into a scruffy beard by mutton chops, giving him a real grizzly harley-rider look. You swore your jaw dropped when he took it off, and you were quick to cover your mouth when he smiled at you.

"I'm sorry about that miss- You've got a good dog protecting you. My names John Price." He walked up and took your hand from your face, squeezing it lightly. "My boys back there are harmless. You seem to have roughed yourself up a bit." He tilts his head as he leans back and looks you up and down, still holding your hand. Oh how deeply thankful you were that he was blocking the headlights from illuminating your red face.

"Yeah- I'm fine though, really! I just, can't keep up with Riley if I tried." You laugh and tremble a little as the cold air catches up to you. He raises an eyebrow- and fuck it gets to you because it makes him smirk a little bit too.

"Well, no offense but you look like you're in no condition to walk home like that!" A woman's voice comes up from behind Price's. You squint at the light when she comes up, and you see a blonde woman about his age with smile lines and blue eyes that could knock you down to your knees yet again. "My name's Kate, don't let John here scare you, he's just an old man." They banter a bit as you stare into space, begging any ethreal being to show you a sign that this is real life.

'Fuck being bisexual, god hates me.' You curse to yourself as you smile shyly at her.

"We can give you a ride home if you'd want! I wouldn't feel right letting you have to get yourself home with blood down your legs." Price motions with his free hand at your torn fishnets, rocks littering the cuts on your leg.

"Oh- I don't want to impose or anything, and I'll have Riley!" You struggle to keep yourself still as the wind continually stings.

"Lass, you're shakin' like a leaf in this wind." The scottish man shakes his head in his helmet, leaning back against the flat of his bike.

"You ain't getting home with just a dog draggin' you forward." The gruff voice of the skull-head from beside him made you look away in embarassment. They were all right, you were blocks away from home, and you didn't have your phone on you either.

"Um.. If you're sure you don't mind... but what about Riley?"

"He can ride wi' me!" The scott excitedly patted the flat he was leaning on, shuffling a few top panels to show a compartment on the back of it that had a hooking mechanism for leashes. Assumedly he had dogs too, and how greatful you were for it.

You sigh in relief that you wont have to limp home in your misery, as strong as you are, the chunk of you lost twice to the blacktop actually hurt more than you'd ever want to admit.

Before you can take a step forward, you're lifted off your feet and holding the shoulders of Kate. She laughs as you gasp and sets you on the back of skull-head's bike so you can backpack him, right next to Riley in the odd formation their bikes created.

"I promise he's not as scary as he looks- right Simon?"

"I don't bite." He chuckles deeply and you tense against his back as he does so. "You might want to hold on tho', I'm not exactly the easiest ride." You blush, hard as he says it, and the group laughs loudly as they start their bikes.

"Oi, treat her nice Si." A soft voice jeered from the last bike to Kate's right. "Or else I'll have to take her off your hands."

"Nice try Gaz."

"Boys! Quit scarin' her." Price chuckles and lights a cigar as he revs his engine. "Or else she wont wanna see us again. Now where do you need us to take you, love?"

'Ah.' Was all that crossed your mind as you locked your arms around Simon's waist, and you all shot off down the street.

#task force 141 #cod 141 #141 x reader #poly 141 #john soap mactavish #john price #gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick #simon ghost riley #call of duty x reader #cod mwf2 #biker gang 141 #soap x reader #price x reader #kate laswell #laswell x reader #gaz x reader #ghost x reader #oooh indulgence i love indulgence

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yzzyhee · 1 day

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HEARTBREAK GIRL - sjy

PAIRING: bff!sim jaeyun x yn

WARNING: pet name (angel, baby) lmk if i missed anything, slight angst..? a lot of feelings involved, kinda mean heeseung??

WC: ~5k more or less

SYNOPSIS: jake has always been there for you through thick and thin — he was always there to take away your hurt, as he was your cure, but when were you going to realise?

PLAYLIST: 5sos - heartbreak girl

A.N: hi everyone i just wanted to say quickly that it’s my first written fic, i have no idea what im doing tbf but i just really really liked the idea for a while and decided to give it a shot .. i truly accept any constructive criticism you might have idm this will probably be the first and last time i post something but ! do let me know what you guys think, it would mean a lot !!

ps. this one is dedicated to my wife @ja3yun seriously couldn’t have done it without ur advices so seriously tysm bb!!

I. “YOU CALL ME UP // IT’S LIKE A BROKEN RECORD // SAYING THAT YOUR HEART HURTS”

Jake sighs as his phone buzzes. Picking it up he sees your caller ID and for a split of a second he doesn’t want to pick up the call. As he glances at the phone he lets himself wonder what a different life would be like; if somehow in another life he could stop caring and ignore you.

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath — that could never be a possibility. He’s sure that if that another life actually exists, the universe would somehow bring him together with you and all of this would eventually happen.

“Y/N?” he answers, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Jake…” you manag to say even though your friend can barely hear your voice. “He broke up with me.” you said as a sob escaped from you.

Jake feels like his own heart is shattering. Not for your and Heeseung’s relationship that was over for now but mostly for himself. He’d seen you go through this too many times, always falling for the wrong boys and always ending up heartbroken.

“It just hurts so bad, Jake..” you cry, your voice breaking.

As you continued crying and uttering words that made Jake’s heart drop at how you seem to hate yourself now, he feels like he could punch Heeseung if he were to see him now. Even though he has been there for you through many of your previous heartbreaks and also fights with Heeseung he never heard you cry so bad.

“Hey, Y/N.. Listen to me. Take deep breaths, stop crying, angel, please.” Jake says softly and it makes you stop crying over the phone for a bit.

“You’re more than just a pretty face, okay? Don’t listen to him. You’re smart, you’re kind and you’re wicked funny.. And I guarantee there’s a guy out there who will see what I see, okay?”

You take a sharp breath and nodd but quickly mutter a “Yes” as you realize he can’t see you through the phone.

“I just.. Why does this keep happening, Jake? Why are all the guys I end up with always such assholes?”

“It’s not you, angel. You’re really amazing, you know? Sometimes people like him… just don’t realize what they have right in front of them until it’s too late. He will definitely come crawling back to you in no time.” Jake says in a playful tone but his words held some truth — even through your fights Heeseung always came back.

You chuckle and it makes Jake smile. He hates seeing or hearing you cry, especially when it’s about your relationships and how you always deem yourself unworthy of love from anyone when it’s your boyfriends who just can’t appreciate you.

“Thank you, Jake. Thank you for being a friend. It’s so late right now..I’m sorry for bothering you.”

Jake chuckles as well. “You never bother me, angel.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow at 10.”

Then the phone call abruptly comes to an end and Jake sighs for the second time that night. He knows you won’t call, especially if Heeseung puts his ego aside and comes back to you tonight.

He takes the pillow from under his head and places it on top, muffling a scream as his own mind and especially you liked to play him in circles again and again.

II. HE TREATS YOU SO BAD AND I’M SO GOOD TO YOU, IT’S NOT FAIR

“Okay, enough.” Jake says as he looks away from you and Heeseung’s display of affection. “I’m seriously happy you got back together but I am still third-wheeling here…” he lies gritting his teeth.

To you it looks like he is actually happy for you and just annoyed by your public display of love with Heeseung but in reality? No, in reality he simply can’t stand seeing you act so in love with the boy when just three days ago he insulted you, called you mean words and broke it off. Just for him to come back to you, act all sad, say sorry and you forgive him just like that.

You push Heeseung slightly off you and lean closer to Jake to take his hand in yours, giving it a small squeeze. “I’m sorry, Heeseung just really wanted to come to the drive-in movie and I couldn’t say no..”

Heeseung drags you back into him and puts a hand over your shoulder while the other is sneaking between your thighs. You giggle and slap his hand away while muttering that “Jake is right here”. Jake quickly adverts his eyes, finding the movie on the playing suddenly interesting.

“Oh, it’s getting rather chilly…” you say after a few minutes and look longingly at your boyfriend, hoping for him to get the message and give you his jacket.

“I told you to bring a jacket, dummy.” Heeseung says, rolling his eyes but making no move of giving his jacket to his girlfriend. “How about you go get us some drinks, baby? Maybe if you move a bit you can get warm.”

Jake shakes his head at his words and scoffs. He takes off his jacket and puts it on your shoulders. “Here, Y/N.”

You smile gratefully at Jake, your eyes softening. “ Thank you, Jake. You’re the best.”

“Anytime,” Jake replies, his voice gentle. He glances at Heeseung, his expression hardening. “You should take better care of her, man.”

Heeseung shrugged, not even bothering to spare Jake a look. “She’s fine. She can handle herself.”

Jake clenches his jaw, resisting the urge to say something more. He hates how Heeseung keeps treating you, how he takes you for granted and never caring. He treats you so bad and he’s so good to you — it just wasn’t fair.

During the movie that Jake paid no attention to , he couldn’t help but compare himself to Heeseung. What does Heeseung have that he doesn’t? Is it the hair, the stupid leather jacket he always wears, the bambi eyes, the way he carries himself with such confidence or the way he seems to effortlessly attract attention wherever he goes?

Or maybe you just happen to like the way Heeseung makes you feel after all. The excitement of the chase, the push and pull, the high and low that came with every fight and every word in it, making it hurt but also giving you a rush feeling.

But he knows you. In the long run you don’t actually want all of that. As he steals a glance at the two of you, he feels like he could scream out right now that you could be with him now. He could offer you love, stability. He decides to push off that idea out of his mind as fast as it came. You are happy with Heeseung for now and that’s all that matters.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, a gentle touch that brings him back to the present. He looks up to see you, seeing your soft smile but when he looks into your eyes he sees sadness lingering behind them.

“Hey, we’re going to head out… Heeseung needs to meet up with some friends.” you say quietly to Jake, your voice barely above a whisper.

Jake frowns, feeling frustrated. “You can stay, can’t you? You love this movie!” he exclaims, his voice louder than he intends, hoping that Heeseung can hear the disappointment in his voice.

You purse your lips and shake your head. With a low voice you mutter an apology and start to take his jacket off to return it to him but he stops you.

“Keep it.” Jake tells you offering a smile that doesn’t quite reaches his eyes.

You nod, getting up quickly and follow Heeseung to leave the drive-in movie location. You take one look back to wave goodbye at Jake, seeing him standing there, his eyes locked on you.

Jake watches you leave, the weight of unspoken words heavy on his heart. He waves back, his smile fading as soon as you turn away.

He closes his eyes and looks up at the sky, the cool night air brushing against his skin. The stars twinkle above, indifferent to his inner turmoil. He takes a deep breath, the chilly air filling his lungs, and lets it out slowly, his breath visible in the night air.

In the silence of the drive-in, the sound of distant car engines and the murmur of people leaving fill the background, but Jake is lost in his thoughts. He thinks about all the moments he’s shared with you, the laughter, the tears, and the quiet times where just being near you was enough. He thinks about the way Heeseung treats you, and it makes his chest tighten with frustration and longing.

Jake opens his eyes, the stars still sparkling above, offering no answers, no solace. He knows he can’t keep this to himself much longer. The longer he waits, the more he sees you getting hurt, the more it eats away at him. But he can’t do it. He knows you need to know that someone out there loves you deeply but what if it his feelings would ruin everything for good? For now, all he can do is be there for you, as he always has been. He turns away from the screen, walking slowly to his car. As he gets in and starts the engine, he glances back at the empty space where you had been sitting, the memory of your sad smile etched in his mind.

III. SOMETIMES I’M SO CLOSE TO CONFESSION

Jake sits in his room, the soft glow of his desk lamp casting long shadows across the walls. His mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, his heart heavy with the weight of unspoken words. For weeks now, he’s been wrestling with the idea of confessing his feelings to you, his best friend and the person he cares about most in the world. But every time he tries to gather the courage to tell you how he feels, his fears and insecurities hold him back, trapping him in a cycle of doubt and self-pity.

“Hey, Jake, are you listening?” your voice takes him out of his thoughts. You get up from the bed and go sit on the desk chair next to him.

“No, sorry.” Jake smile sheepishly. “You were saying?” he attempts to play it off.

You roll your eyes. “I was talking about this new book coming up…” you trail off, talking about the upcoming release of your favourite author.

Jake can’t help but let himself watch you. He thinks about the way you smile, the way your soft giggle fills the room and makes his heart skip a beat and the way your eyes light up when you talk about something you’re passionate about just like now.

And as he listens to you talk, he can’t help but feel a sense of longing wash over him, a longing to tell you how he feels, to lay his heart bare and risk it all for the chance at something more.

“Y/N I-“ Jake suddenly interrupts you but his bravery doesn’t last long.

As the moment passes, the words stick in his throat, suffocating him with their weight. He wants to tell you, he really does, but the fear of rejection holds him back, paralyzing him with its grip.

“Yes? Did you want to say something?” you ask him and look up to him just to see him shake his head and motioning for you to continue talking about the book.

And so he sits there, silent and still, watching you with a mixture of adoration and regret, wishing he could find the courage to take the leap and tell you how he feels.

As you continue to talk, oblivious to the turmoil raging within him, Jake can’t help but wonder what it would feel like to hold you in his arms, to kiss you under the stars, to whisper words of love into your ear. But for now, all he can do is watch and wait, hoping that one day, he’ll find the strength to confess his feelings and take a chance on love.

“You will come with me, right?” you say to him suddenly. “To the book release? Heeseung doesn’t want to come, he thinks it’s silly..”

Jake's heart skips a beat at your words, his mind racing with a mixture of excitement and nervousness but also anger towards Heeseung — how could he think your passion, your hobby is something silly and telling you that to your face nonetheless? Jake keeps those thoughts of your boyfriend to himself. However the thought of spending time alone with you again, of being by your side as you indulge in something you love and hanging out just like old times, fills him with a sense of warmth and anticipation.

“Of course, Y/N,” he says, his voice soft.“I’d love to come with you.”

A smile spreads across your face, and Jake feels his heart swell with happiness at the sight. For a moment, everything else fades away, leaving just the two of you, lost in the moment together.

And as you talk excitedly about the upcoming event, Jake can't help but feel a sense of hope stir within him. Maybe this is his chance, his opportunity to finally confess his feelings and take a chance on love. And as he looks into your eyes, he knows that no matter what happens, he'll always be there for you, ready to support you and cherish every moment you share together.

IV. I’M RIGHT HERE, WHEN YOU GONNA REALISE // THAT I’M YOUR CURE?

“Heeseung, what’s gotten into you?” you ask, frustration clear in your tone as you watch him pace around your living room.

Heeseung stops and scoffs. “Are you serious?”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes. Ever since he tagged along to the the drive-in movie hang out between you and Jake and then found out you went with Jake to your book release event he started to act out. He rejects your ideas to go out on a date, he rejects initiating any kind of intimacy to you — even refusing to hold your hand, something he’s never done in your 6 months relationship.

You can’t help but feel confused and hurt by his sudden change in behaviour. He used to be so affectionate even if you had a fight and was always eager to show you off on dates and such but now he seems like a completely different person.

“Seriously, Heeseung. Talk to me, what’s going on?” you press, your voice tinged with worry.

Heeseung looks at you and steps closer. “You’re in love, baby.” he says while putting a strand of your hair behind your ear, smiling softly. “But not with me.”

“What?” you say, your mind racing as you try to process what he just said.

“I think you should give Jake a call.” Heeseung continues, his expression earnest though you can’t help but feel puzzled by his sudden insight. Heeseung chuckles. “C’mon, baby. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? How your eyes always light up when he’s around or how you always talk about him when he’s not and bring him up whenever there’s an opportunity? Or how you always compare what I do with what he does?”

You part your lips slightly, caught off guard by his observations. His words hit you like a bolt of lightning, sparking a flurry of emotions within you.

“But… I…” you stammer, struggling to find the words to express the tumultuous thoughts swirling in your mind.

Heeseung reaches out, gently cupping your face in his hands. “It’s okay, Y/N,” he says softly. “I understand. Hell, I’d fall in love with the guy too if he were to always drop everything and be at my beck and call. How did you not realise everything sooner? I swear, he has been so obvious the past weeks.” he chuckles. “Actually, did you know he had a presentation on the day you went with him to the book release? He talked with his professor to present it earlier so he could come with you.”

Heeseung’s words hit you like a sudden gust of winter wind, cutting through the air with their sharpness and leaving you feeling exposed and vulnerable. His observations about Jake’s actions leave you reeling, the realization sinking in like a heavy weight on your chest.

“I… I didn’t know,” you whisper, your voice barely above a whisper as you struggle to process the information. “I didn’t realize he was going out of his way for me…”

Heeseung’s hands drop from your face, his expression softening with understanding. “It’s okay, Y/N,” he says gently, his voice a comforting presence in the midst of the storm raging inside you. “Sometimes, it’s hard to see things clearly when you’re too close to them.”

You nod slowly, feeling a sense of guilt wash over you at the thought of all the times you may have overlooked Jake’s gestures of affection. How could you have been so blind to his feelings, so oblivious to the depth of his love for you?

Heeseung leans in closer and kisses your forehead. It’s a tender, lingering kiss, filled with a mixture of sadness and acceptance. He pulls back, looking into your eyes one last time with a strained smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. The weight of the moment hangs heavy between you, and you can feel the finality in his actions. He turns and walks towards the door.

You watch him leave, your heart aching as he steps out of your apartment. The door closes behind him with a soft click, and you stand there, feeling a profound sense of loss. Part of you wants to run after him, to call him back and somehow make everything right. But you know that some things can’t be fixed with a few words.

You move to the window and peer out, hoping to catch a glimpse of Heeseung, hoping he would turn back and give you one last look. But the street below is empty, and the cold night air feels like a reflection of the unresting feeling inside you.

For the first time after a break-up, you don’t call Jake. You take the night to yourself, the silence of your apartment enveloping you like a cold winter's night. Your mind is a whirlwind of confusion and heartache, the echoes of Heeseung's words lingering like a biting chill.

As you sit alone, wrapped in a blanket on the couch, your thoughts turn to Jake. The realisation that he might have deeper feelings for you sends a shiver down your spine. You’ve always seen him as your rock, your dependable best friend, but now, faced with the possibility that his feelings might run deeper, you feel an icy grip of uncertainty and fear tighten around your heart.

You think about all the moments you’ve shared with Jake, the late-night conversations, the inside jokes, the way he’s always been there for you. How could you have been so blind to his feelings? The thought of potentially hurting him, of disrupting the comfortable dynamic you’ve always shared, fills you with a sense of dread. It’s like stepping out into the harsh winter wind, unsure if you’ll be able to find your way back to the warmth and safety you’ve known.

You wrap the blanket tighter around yourself, seeking comfort in its embrace, but your mind continues to spiral. What if you don’t feel the same way? What if your feelings for Jake are merely a reflection of your gratitude and dependence on his unwavering support? The thought of leading him on, of giving him false hope, sends a pang of guilt through you. The guilt eats at you for not noticing sooner, for being so wrapped up in your own relationships and dramas that you missed the quiet, steady love that Jake might have been offering all along. It’s a chilling thought, realizing how much you might have overlooked in your pursuit of fleeting romances with others.

Your heart and mind feel like a frozen landscape, barren and cold, with no clear path forward. You can’t deny the flutter of something more when you think of Jake, but it’s buried under layers of confusion and fear. You’ve been through so much heartache, and the idea of risking your most cherished friendship for a chance at something more feels like walking on thin ice, fragile and treacherous.

The night wears on, and the cold, empty silence of your apartment presses down on you. You long for the warmth of Jake’s presence, his soothing voice and reassuring words, but you know you can’t run to him this time. You need to sort through your feelings, to understand what’s real and what’s born out of loneliness and a desire for comfort.

As the hours pass, you come to a bittersweet realization. You need to protect Jake from potential heartbreak, to shield him from the uncertainty that’s freezing your heart. You care for him too much to risk his happiness on your unresolved feelings. And so, for the first time, you decide to face this winter storm on your own, hoping that in the process, you’ll find clarity and the strength to either embrace or gently let go of what could be.

Tomorrow, you’ll see him, and maybe the warmth of his smile will melt some of the ice around your heart. But tonight, you wrap yourself tighter in your blanket and let the winter winds of your emotions rage on, knowing that some answers can only be found in the stillness of the cold.

You don’t see him tomorrow. Instead, you chose to run from him, from his feelings and your own. The weight of your confusion and fear makes you retreat further into yourself, wrapping the cold, comforting solitude around you like a protective cloak. You bury yourself in college work, books and anything that can keep your mind occupied. Yet, in the quiet moments — those still, silent spaces between the busyness — your thoughts inevitably drift back to Jake.

The look in Jake’s eyes when he’s with you haunts you. It’s a look filled with warmth and unspoken words. A look that now seems so painfully clear in hindsight. It’s as if he’s always been there, offering you a love as constant and reassuring as the summer sun, yet you were too caught up in the fleeting, cold winter winds of other relationships to notice.

Jake’s feelings for you feel like a warm summer day. They’re gentle and persistent, bringing light and comfort into your life without demanding anything in return. His love is the kind that warms you from the inside out, melting away the icy barriers you’ve built around your heart. But now, the fear of stepping into that warmth, of risking the friendship you hold so dear, keeps you trapped in a winter of your own making.

Meanwhile, Jake is left adrift, confused and hurt by your sudden withdrawal. He tries to seek you out, to understand why you’re avoiding him, but every attempt is met with distance. He feels like he’s chasing shadows, reaching out for something that slips further away with each passing day. He even tried to talk with Heeseung, hoping that the man knows something of why you’re acting this way towards him but much like you, Heeseung avoided him.

As the days turn into a week, the winter storm within you begins to show signs of weakening. The relentless busyness that you’ve thrown yourself into can’t keep the feelings at bay forever. In those quiet moments, when you’re alone with your thoughts, you start to feel the warmth of Jake’s love seeping through the cracks in your icy defenses.

You remember the way he looked at you, the gentle, unspoken promises in his eyes. The realization that you’ve been running from something so genuine, so pure, starts to thaw the fear and confusion that have held you captive. The warmth of Jake’s love begins to melt the ice around your heart, and you start to see things more clearly.

You know you can’t avoid him forever. The thought of hurting Jake, of causing him pain with your indecision, is unbearable. You decide that it’s time to face your feelings, to confront the truth that you’ve been so afraid of. You owe it to Jake, and to yourself, to be honest about what’s in your heart.

With a deep breath, you pick up your phone and send him a message, asking to meet. The anticipation of seeing him again fills you with a mix of dread and hope. You know the conversation ahead will be difficult, but it’s the only way to move forward.

As you wait for his response, you feel a sense of clarity. The journey ahead might be uncertain, but you’re ready to step into the light, to embrace the summer warmth that Jake’s love promises. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find that the path you’re most afraid of is the one that leads you to the happiness you’ve been searching for.

“Ofcourse. When and where?”

His response is immediate, no hesitation, no hint of the confusion and hurt you know he must be feeling. The simplicity of his words, the readiness to meet despite everything, brings a small, bittersweet smile to your face. You suggest a quiet café near campus, a place you both know well, and set a time for the next afternoon.

The next day, as you make your way to the café, your mind is a whirlwind of emotions. The warmth of the spring sun on your face feels like a promise, a gentle reassurance that everything might just be okay. You take a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves, and step inside.

Jake is already there, sitting at a corner table. The sight of him sends a rush of emotions through you — relief, nervousness and a profound sense of familiarity. He looks up as you approach, and his puppy like smile is like a beacon of warmth cutting through your lingering uncertainty.

“Hey,” he says softly, standing up to greet you.

“Hey,” you reply, your voice a little shaky. You both sit down, and for a moment, there’s an awkward silence. Jake’s eyes search your face, and you can see the questions and concern in them.

“I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you,” you start, your voice barely above a whisper. “I just needed some time to think.”

Jake nods, his expression understanding but guarded. “I’ve been worried about you,” he admits. “I didn’t know what was going on, and I… I missed you.”

His words hit you like a gentle breeze, warm and reassuring, but also filled with a depth of emotion that makes your heart ache. “I missed you too,” you confess. “I needed to figure out some things… about us, about my feelings.”

Jake’s eyes widen slightly, a flicker of hope and fear crossing his face. “Us?Your feelings?” he echoes, his voice tense with anticipation.

You take a deep breath, gathering your courage. “Jake, you’ve always been there for me. You’ve been my rock, my best friend, and… I’ve realized that maybe, I’ve been blind to something that’s been right in front of me all along.”

His eyes are locked onto yours, and you can see the hope growing, the warmth in his gaze like the sun breaking through the clouds after a cold cold winter day. “What do you mean?” he asks softly.

“I mean…” you struggle to find the right words, the right way to express the tumult of emotions inside you. “I think I’ve been so caught up in my own fears and insecurities that I didn’t see what was right in front of me. You’ve always been there, and I’ve come to realize that… that I care about you, Jake. More than just as a friend.”

There, it’s out. You think as you let the words out of your mouth. The words hang in the air between you, a confession that feels both terrifying and liberating. Jake’s expression softens, a mixture of relief and overwhelming emotion flooding his face.

“I’ve cared about you for a long time.. I’m surprised you didn’t notice sooner,” he admits, his voice shaking slightly. “I didn’t know how to tell you without risking what we have. But hearing you say that… it means everything to me.”

You reach across the table, taking his hand in yours. The simple touch feels like a lifeline, grounding you in this moment of vulnerability and honesty. “I’m scared, Jake,” you confess. “I’m scared of losing what we have, but I’m more scared of never knowing what we could be.”

Jake squeezes your hand, his grip warm and reassuring. “We’ll figure it out together,” he promises. “We’ve always been there for each other, and that won’t change. I want to be with you, Y/N. Not just as your friend, but as someone who loves you.”

His words are like the first true warmth of summer, melting away the last of your fears. You smile, a genuine, hopeful smile, and nod. “I want that too, Jake. I want to see where this goes, with you.”

As you sit there, hand in hand, you feel the ice around your heart finally melt away, replaced by the warmth and promise of a new beginning. The journey ahead might be uncertain, but with Jake by your side, you know you’ll face it together, one step at a time.

#— 💭 mars ; written work #i had no idea what i was doing its 2am #enhypen jake fic #jake x reader #jake sim x reader #sim jaeyun x reader #enha x reader #enha angst #enha fluff #enha imagines #enhypen imagines #jake imagines

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choiseungcheolprincess · 2 days

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More Than Friends// Choi Seungcheol

Bestfriend!Choi Seungcheolxafab!Black!Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: You've been best friends for years. You can't imagine life without him. You don't know when the lines blurred, but you start to wonder are you the only one who feels this way?

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Warning: Spit play, Praising, Fingering, Oral Use of nicknames (good girl, princess, baby girl)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT 🔞

A/N: Helloooo! Enjoy, like, and repost whatever you feel is right!- Cherry 🍒

I've been friends with Seungcheol for a while. He's been there for me when I needed him the most after the conversation at his apartment. The guy just finished practicing and wanted to eat and have drinks. Cheol called me and asked if I wanted to join them. I said yes of course. We were all sitting there listening to the stories of how Hoshi is intimidating while practicing for this comeback. I got up to get some food until Cheol stopped me and made me sit back down and made me a plate of food.

"You guys operate like a couple," Jeonghan said sipping his beer. Everyone hummed agreeance. Seungkwan looked at me.

"Your friendship dynamic changed. All we are saying is something changed."

"What if you guys are soul mates!" Soonyoung said. I laughed

"What is it with you and the soulmates theory Soonyoung?"

"I mean everyone has one, platonic or romantic. What if you and Seungcheol Hyung are romantic soulmates"

"Ignore him he's drunk," Mingyu said

"Am not!" Soonyoung said pouting then turning to Wonwoo to kiss him. Wonwoo just patted him on the head.

No one said anything else, I knew they were right. I just don't know what happened to make the lines blurred. Was it before or after I found out my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me? That was six months ago:

Me and my boyfriend were supposed to meet up for a date until he canceled on me. He said he had a bad day at work so I decided to go to his house and cook him some food. That was until I got to his apartment only to find him in bed with a co-worker. Heartbroken and unable to see through the tears. I called Cheol who immediately came to get me. Of course, my ex-boyfriend follows me out of the building at the exact time Cheol is pulling up and getting out of the car.

"Oh of course you call him! You can't get mad at me for cheating when something is going on between you too!" He shouted out. Cheol helped me get into the car and then turned around to face the pathetic excuse of a man. I don't know exactly what was said, but seeing Cheol angry was not something you see all the time, but when he is. It's scary. After watching my ex-boyfriend's face change Cheol walked away and got into the car without saying a word and drove off. Playing with my bracelet trying to calm down, Cheol grabbed my hand and glanced over.

"Are you okay, Princess?" He said softly. I shrugged. He pulled into an empty parking lot when tears began running down my face unbuckling his seat beat then leaned his seat back

"Cheol what are you doing?" I questioned he just ignored me, picking me up and over the center console and onto his lap allowing me to cry in his shirt, which was white.

"Your shirt has makeup all on it," I said, sniffing.

"I don't care, you need someone to cry on, and I'm here. If you care so much I'll take it off" He said I hit his shoulder making him laugh. One of his hands was placed on my back and the other was running through my hair. When I was done crying I got back into the passenger side, laughing at the stain on his shirt.

"I'm sorry, about your shirts Cheollie" He looked down seeing the light stain on his shirt. He just laughed along with me.

"Let's get some food and you can stay at mine tonight," He said I nodded.

"Sounds good"

Was that when everything changed? Or was it always like that and I just just just noticed now? Cheol's always been affectionate. His love language is gift-giving and physical touch. He does it with everyone. Was it when your boyfriend forgot your birthday and didn't show up to your dinner but Cheol made sure that you knew he remembered? Especially when he pulled out the matching necklaces.

"Happy Birthday Y/n" The open box in front of me showed a pinky ring. It was white gold and wrapped in white and pink diamonds.

"S-seungcheol..." I whispered he just smiled at me gently taking the ring out of the box and sitting next to me tilting the ring a little so I could see the engraving on the inside 'To my princess, my best friend Y/N' and grabbing my hand to the ring on my pinky

"Y/N-ah, You are one of my best friends. You have seen me at my best and my worst. When you heard of my injury you dropped everything just to be by my side. You ensured I wasn't lonely when everyone went on Nana's tour and I thank you for that. I can never repay you for everything you did for me, but I hope this is a start."

I was playing with the ring on my pinky. Seungcheol comes back with food. I was placing it on the table in front of us. He handed me some chopsticks.

"I thought we could share if that's okay" He whispered as I nodded, smiling a little. He sat down next to me. Still, all in my head, he nudges my arm with his shoulder

“You okay?” He asked me, I just looked at him. When did I start looking at him differently, why haven’t I recognized my feelings for him?

“Y/n?” I snapped out of my thoughts. I was leaning forward to take a bite of the tteokbokki.

“Mmm, good,” I said, covering my mouth and chewing. Glaring at Jeonghan and Shua who were laughing.

I ate in silence. I was listening to how excited they were about their comeback.

“You should do the challenge!”I froze about to eat the pork belly then laughed and shook my head.

“No way I seen the footwork and there’s no way I can do that” I watched the video of the choreography and the break dance at the end of the song is insane.

“You can do the bridge,” Seungcheol said they all nodded agreeing with what he said. I would deny it until he looked at me, pleading with his eyes.

“Okay, teach it to me?” I said looking at him, his eyes softened and he nodded. I smiled taking a sip of water. One by one everyone started to leave. First Soonyoung and Seungkwan. Shua next, Jihoon soon after. Vernon, Seokmin, and Minghao, and Junhu. Mingyu and Wonwoo left after they finished their last beer. Jeonghan and Chan were left. Jeonghan looked at Chan who was in his own world at this point and got up Helping the younger and the drunker one up.

“I’m gonna make sure he gets to his bed,” Jeonghan said leaving me alone with Cheol. We sat in comfortable silence for a moment until he looked at me.

“You staying the night?” He asked I thought about it for a second then nodded.

“Can I borrow a shirt?’ I said getting up and walking to his room. Knowing he’ll say yes. I went into his closet and grabbed a shirt, then went to take a shower. After I took a shower, I dried off and put on the shirt. I left the bathroom and found him sitting in the living room. As often as I spent the night in Cheol's apartment, you think I would have extra clothes over here. The only clothes I have are actual day clothes, and undergarments not pajamas, simply because I like wearing his shirts they are big and comfortable.

“Movie?” I asked

“You pick?” He said.

“I was gonna tell you to pick” I grabbed the remote, turning the TV on. We both sat down after we cleaned up scrolling through Netflix trying to decide on a movie.

“Hmmm, do we have to watch a movie?” I asked not finding anything interesting enough to watch and taking the remote from my hands and clicking on the TV Show category.

“Have you started watching Bridgerton?” He asked glancing over at me.

“Have you?” I said laughing

“You know that the only reason I’d watch this is with you,” He said pressing select and starting the first episode of season 3. We sat in silence, Cheol grabbed my legs and rested them on his lap. Running his hand up and my calf I felt my heart flutter as his finger traced circles on my skin. Eyes focused on the screen. I couldn’t focus on the show anymore, my mind drifted as I felt the warmth of his hands. I felt myself getting turned on as I watched his eyes move up and down my body. I knew I had to stop this, but I couldn't move away. Episode one is finished now on episode two Halfway through the episode you looked at Cheol.

‘Tell him..’ a voice inside my head whispered

“Cheol?” I said making him over at me.

“Hmm?” He said still rubbing my leg.

I can do this! I CAN do this right?

It was the end of the episode and Colin and Pen kissed. I glanced over at Seungcheol who was looking at me.

“What’s wrong, you’ve been quiet ever since I bought the food out.” He asked I shook my head the words stuck in my throat. I can do this. I guess.

“Cheol, I-” I took a deep breath pulling my legs off of him and moving closer to him. He looked concerned. I was playing with the ring on my pinky again.

“Princess? What’s going on?” He said grabbing my hands. I looked at him biting my lip. Closing my eyes.

“Seungcheol, we’ve been best friends a long time, right? I can’t imagine my life without you in it if I’m being honest, Cheollie. I don’t know why it took me so long even to realize this but. I-” Stopping to look him in the eyes.

“I’ve been in love with you for so long. You’re everything I could ever ask for. Caring, protective motivational, and understanding, you take charge when needed and become the one person in my life I know will be there. These last few months being able to be here and be a support system for you watching you work to be back on stage with your members have been inspiring and made in love with you even more. ”

He just stared at me. No words came out. I could decipher what he was thinking. I slowly moved my hands from his and got up.

“I should go. I’ll see you later?” Moving from him grabbing my phone off the table. His hand quickly grabbed my wrist. Getting looking down at me.

“Were you going to leave? Without me saying what I have to say. Just gonna run out and pretend those pretty words didn’t come out of that pretty little mouth of yours.” His thumb ran over my lower lip. I sucked in a breath.

“Princess... I have always been in love with you. Every time I tried to tell you, you were in a relationship or I was dating someone or having a fling, it has always been you baby. The first time you came to watch our concert and just seeing you in the crowd with that smile of yours singing along to all of our songs, you made sure to come to every concert just to show your support not only for me but for my members as well. Every show, every stage when I look at the carats cheering for us, I’m looking for you, you are the one to calm my nerves. You have not only helped me go through one of the toughest times in my life. Babygirl I fell and I fell hard for you ” He stepped closer to me hand on my cheek. I could feel my heart racing as I looked up into his eyes. He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and kissed him back, my, heart full of joy and hope. We pulled away, our eyes still locked. He smiled and kissed me again, this time more deeply. I melted into his arms. He sat down pulling me into his lap. Cheol kissed me again, this time passionately. I was lost in the moment, my heart racing as I felt his hands exploring my body. His hands on my hips moving them. Letting me grind against him. He bit down on my lip I let out a moan of pleasure as his tongue slid into my mouth. We fought for dominance, which he won, of course, We pulled away panting. His shirt was over my waist his fingers digging into my skin. His lips met mine again, this time with more intensity. His tongue made its way into my mouth, exploring every crevice. I felt my body temperature rise as my heart raced.

“Cheol” I whimpered against his lips as he raised his hips to meet mine. He groaned his hand sliding down my thigh I felt myself getting wetter as my desire for him grew more intense. His lips moved from my mouth to my neck, leaving a trail of kisses behind. I arched my back to meet his advances, my heart racing as I felt my body trembling with pleasure. His fingers brushed against my clit, collecting my wetness with his fingers then start to rub my clit. His other hand moved higher, caressing my breasts as his lips continued to explore my neck. His touch was electric, sending waves of pleasure through my body. I let out a moan of pleasure as my body quivered. His lips returned to my mouth, his touch sending my mind into overdrive. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to climax,

“Good girl princess. Tell me what you need” He whispered against my lips.

“I-I want your fingers, please” I whimpered body trembling with anticipation. He slowly inserted two fingers into me, his thumb rubbing my clit as his fingers thrusted in and out of me and I began writhing in pleasure. I felt my body tense up as I started to come undone.

“I’m cumming!” I said.

“That’s a good girl, use my fingers to cum” His lips returned to mine, and I let out a final moan of pleasure as my body shuddered in ecstasy. When I finally calmed down I tugged on the string of his sweatpants untying it. He quickly removed his fingers from my pussy and allowed me to take his pants off. He stood there naked, his erection jutting out proudly. ‘Wow, he’s big.’ I thought to myself as I looked up at him with admiration. I reached out and wrapped my small hand around his shaft, feeling it throb in my hand. I slowly began to stroke him, feeling him harden even more.

“Shit, Y/n, make it wet baby. Spit on it, ” He said taking his shirt off and tossing it across the room. Taking my hand and spitting on it wrapping it around him again.

“Good fucking girl,” He said panting. I smiled softly watching his face twitch in pleasure. Finally taking him in my mouth slowly watching his mouth drop slightly.

“Fuuuuuuuck, baby girl,” He said once I took some of him in my mouth. My hand wrapped around the rest. He looked down at me, biting his lip. Learning what sends shivers up and down his spine. I pulled up to suck on the head of his cock. I started to move my head and hand up and down his cock occasionally deep throating him.

“Oh, my fuck- so good at that” His raspy voice whispered his hand in my hair. My eyes never left his.

“Fuck, you look so beautiful like this.” He said, then pulled me away from him. Bending down picked me up and placed me on the couch with him on his knees. Without a warning, his mouth attached to my clit.

“Oh shit, Cheol!” I cried out my hands in his hair. His fingers slid into me again. Riding his fingers as his mouth worked on my clit had me arching me arching my back. He pulled away still fucking me with his fingers.

“You don’t know how long I wanted this, princess. To taste you and feel you around me. Now that I know what you taste and feel like…I’m never letting you go” He said curling his fingers and hitting my G-spot over and over again.

“Fuck, right there!” I moaned, and he smiled teasingly and said

“Right here, princess? ” I nodded biting my lip, which made him spank my clit lightly

“F-uck!” I screamed tightening around his fingers

“Oh- no baby you gonna cum? You need to ask sweetie, let me hear you beg” he said smirking and spanking my clit again.

“Please, let me cum so you can fuck me Cheollie” My hips meet his fingers in every thrust. His lips wrapped around my clit again making me gasp and whimper. I couldn’t help myself, the aura he gave, the control he had. The word slipped out

“Daddy! Please can I cum?” He smirked again before pushing his fingers deeper inside me and sucking and nibbling at my clit, making me moan louder. I felt my orgasm building, my body trembling with pleasure, and when it finally released, I screamed out in pleasure, my body shaking and trembling with pleasure. I gasped in pleasure, my orgasm finally arriving. He didn't stop, continuing his ministrations until I was spent. Only then did he remove his fingers and lips from me, leaving me in a blissful state.

“Daddy huh?” He said standing up and taking my legs in his hands wrapping them around his waist. Sliding his cock through my lips.

“Mmmh, please don’t tease me.” He leaned down kissing me. Biting at my lower lip pulling away

“Beg me to fuck you baby”

“Please daddy, fuck me,” I pleaded. His lips curved into a smirk, pushing inside me., back arched gasping out as he bottomed out He slowly began to thrust in and out, his grip tightening on my hips with each thrust. I moaned in pleasure, my body trembling with pleasure. He leaned down and kissed me, his breath hot against my lips.

“You, feel so good. Like you were made for me” he groaned out kissing and biting my neck. I moaned out at the pain and pleasure he was giving me. He leaned up took my leg in his hand put it on his shoulder kissing it softly. The angle change made my mouth drop open,

“Right there daddy, please” I moaned

“Please what babygirll? Use your words” he said his other hand pinching at my nipple. I couldn’t think straight. My brain can’t even form the thought of what I was asking for.

“Princess, be a good girl and use your words,” He said hand traveling up my chest onto my neck.

“F-faster please” I cried out. His pace increased, and my moans became louder with each thrust. He leaned down and whispered, his voice low and raspy.

“Such a good girl, taking all of me. Asking so nicely. I always wondered how much of a good girl you’d be.” I tightened around him making him groan out.

“Fuck,” Him hitting my g-spot the way he looked like he could spend forever in this position. Turned me on even more. Making me clench around him.

“You keep doing that I’m gonna cum” He said I smiled and did it again. He groaned his thrusts stuttering. His hold on me tightened, he reached down and rubbed my clit I gasped as I felt him release inside me. Which triggered my orgasm.

“Daddy!” I screamed out he continued to fuck me through it. He collapsed on top of me, our breathing still heavy. Once he caught his breath he pulled out. I whimpered at the loss of his warmth. I felt him get up he took me in his arms carrying me to his room and then the bathroom and sat me on the toilet.

“Use the bathroom princess,” He said grabbing a washcloth and wetting it. I used the bathroom grabbed some toilet paper, wiped myself, and stood up. Seungcheol quietly wiped me with the washcloth and cleaned himself off picking me up again and leaving the bathroom. Walking towards his bed laying down with me on top of him.

“You’re mine now baby girl, and I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon”

#seventeen imagines #seventeen smut #kpop smut #scoups smut #seventeen #seventeen scoups #seventeen seungcheol #seventeen fluff #s.coups x reader #x reader #black!reader

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damnilovefrogss · 2 days

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Jason Todd (general dating HC)

1. Initially hesitant to date anyone due to his past traumas and trust issues, but eventually opens up to a s/o who helps him work through his emotional struggles. Jason struggles with feelings of guilt and self-doubt, especially when it comes to his past as Robin and his relationships with his family members. Give him all the hugs and kisses in the world. It's not that Jason is bad with his words(this man loves Austen with all his heart. I hate when ppl describe him as impulsive and reckless all the time), but he's not completely comfortable with sharing his emotions even when he has been with you for a while. Jason may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or a lack of self-worth, which could affect his confidence in relationships. He may require reassurance from his partner that he is loved and valued. So, showing him affection through small gestures is the best way to make him feel loved. He quite literally melts when you give him words of affection and gentle touches.

2. He has a tendency to push people away when things get too emotional or intimate, but ultimately craves deep connections and a sense of belonging. He may struggle to find the right balance between vulnerability and self-preservation in his relationships. At first, he might push you away despite his feelings because he feels like he isn't good enough for them. His trust issues do not help with this. Him getting distant with you for no reason at all will continue after he's together with his s/o, but it will get better as time passes and his trust in you and himself gets stronger, making him more comfortable with being vulnerable.

3. Despite his tough exterior, Jason is quite the romantic. He enjoys doing little things to show his affection, like leaving small notes around the house for you to read. It's honestly really cute.

4. He WILL read all your favorite books, and will be so happy if you read the books he likes. He does have a preference when it comes to books, but is still open to trying out new stuff. Dates at the library or at old bookstores with him are really something special. You spend your weekends cuddling next to each other while reading together. He sometimes asks you to read to him as he lies his head on your lap. Although he prefers paper books a lot more than e-books, if you give Jason a subscription for an audiobook he will absolutely listen to it while he works on his bike.

5. If you decide to bake for him, he will have the biggest grin in all of Gotham. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Just some simple chocolate chip cookies or lemon bars are more than enough. Jason craves the kind of domestic affection and sweet warmth that he never really had as a child. He never exactly grew up in a stable home, and he never really had that 'family' that he craved as a kid. He craves the kind of caring relationship and care that he needed as a child, and baking for him is a really good way to show him that you care for him. He doesn't really have a sweet tooth, but he would definitely eat everything that you bake if you let him.

6. He likes to see you wearing his clothes. Mostly shirts, since he's built like a brick wall and wearing his pants would just make walking significantly difficult for you. Who needs pajamas when you can just put on his shirt? He will pretend to be annoyed by this gremlin behavior, but he can't hide his smile whenever he sees you in one of his shorts. Steal all his hoodies. ALL of them. >:)

7. He will 100% get jealous or feel a little insecure if your favorite hero isn't him. Doesn't matter if it is Batman, Superman or Wonder Woman. He will be petty(but like in a cute way idk).

8. He sends photos of the things he likes with no explanations whatsoever. The sky is looking especially blue today? He sends you a picture of it. There's a line in a book that he really likes? You get a picture of it. You get pictures of stray cats and sunsets. It's his way of showing love. At first you were a little confused on why he sends you pictures of random things, but you grew to love them. When he sees something that he likes, the first thing that comes up in his mind is you. And he wants to share it with you. If you decided to do the same for him, he would be so happy.

9. Jason is a little spoon all the way. Considering how big he is, it looks a little funny. But he loves it when you're pressed suggy against his back with your arms wrapped around him. Plus, this way he worries less about accidentally squishing you in his sleep. But he will gladly let you squish him. He likes to wake up in your arms. It makes him feel loved.

10. He treats waiters and retail workers really nicely.

11. If you ask for a ride on his bike, he would be more than happy to oblige. He would go a lot slower than he usually does. The wind blowing through your hair, your arms wrapped tightly around his waist. To him, it's the perfect sensation. He would get excited when you like his bike and might even get you a riding jacket to match his own.

12. He likes to shower with you. Sure, shower sex is great, but it's the intimacy that he likes more. He will steal your shampoo since he likes when you smell the same. He will melt when you pamper him. Do facials and use bath bombs when you're with him. He isn't really used to things like that and loves it when you treat him with care. Since he's a big guy, fitting in to the bathtub with you might be a little difficult.

13. Eyebrow wiggles all day long, just to make you laugh. Doesn't matter what your doing, he will randomly wiggles his eyebrows at you.

14. Loves when you welcome him with hugs when he gets back from patrol. He's used to coming back to an empty house, and you being there is such a nice change. If you fuss over the smallest scrapes and patch him up, he will melt in your hands. Kissing his bruises and scars also helps him feel better about them. He has a lot of scars from his death. He's especially insecure about the Y shaped scar that his autopsy left behind. On bad days, even looking in the mirror is hard for him. He still needs time to recover from his past traumas, and you kissing every single one of his scars helps a lot.

15. Give him flowers and his face will be redder than his helmet. This man gets so flustered when you give him flowers. Doesn't matter if it's a big bouquet of roses or just a few tulips. The first and last time that he got flowers was his funeral, so you giving him flowers means a lot to him. If you get blue ones to match his eyes, he might get a heart attack.

#jason todd x reader #jason peter todd #jason todd #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #red hood

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el0-o · 3 days

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Modern WangXian established relationship where Lan Wangji keep bringing Wei Wuxian to uncle Lan Qiren’s house for Sunday brunch, Tuesday afternoon tea, once in a month Friday dinner and every holiday celebration. Cannon Lan Qiren displeased (because hated is a strong word) with Wei Wuxian but his nephew is so smitten. He suspects they already eloped but too stubborn to show he actually care so he just be his cannon grumpy self and try to pretend Wei Wuxian not there but obviously failing.

Wei Wuxian been living his carefree life on the outside but shoulder mountain of trauma in the inside, met Lan Wangji during one of his part time job where he washed Lan Wangji’s car. Que Lan Wangji seeing this with BGM you are my sunshine my only sunshine ringing in his ears while picturing Wei Wuxian dancing around him wet and covered with bubbles. They get together after another 15 accidentally meeting at another Wei Wuxian’s part time jobs and lots of pining.

Long story short, Lan Qiren is having hard time taking care of his newest houseplant but Wei Wuxian step into his house during Sunday brunch and casually telling him he need to reduce watering his plant because this particular plant need less watering than other types of houseplant.

“How would you know?”

“I use to take care of this plant when I worked at xxxx nursery. They teach me how to take care of bla bla bla…….”

Lan Qiren have to listen to Wei Wuxian telling him about all the houseplant and exotic plant he encounters for 1.5 hour and only stop after Lan Wangji hugging him from the back telling the room brunch is ready.

There was one particular incident where they went out together for dinner with Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue. One obnoxious patron (Jin Zizun) spilled wine on Lan Qiren’s favourite trench coat and he was so sure the stain was irremovable and he would be mourning his favourite trench coat but We Wuxian said he can wash it for him. Lan Qiren surrendered his trench coat to Wei Wuxian without further argument and silently biding goodbye to the coat. Wei Wuxian came to his house on next Tuesday afternoon tea with his trench coat free from stain including the ink stained he accidentally spilled last week. He suspect Wei Wuxian bringing totally different coat but he know his favourite trench coat from a glance. Wei Wuxian said he picked up some lifehack while working at the laundromat and he always spilled wine and ink on himself. Lan Qiren’ hardened heart is thawing.

Another accident where Lan Qiren try to wash his own car because the twink car washer did not do his job properly. Wei Wuxian suddenly came out of nowhere and joined him. He never saw his car shining like new. Now Wei Wuxian help him washing his car after every Sunday brunch and dragged their meeting till late afternoon. He have to host Sunday afternoon tea for him and his nephew. If he have to witness his nephew snogging with Wei Wuxian everytime he thinks Lan Qiren not looking, Lan Qiren would not say anything.

He keep learning new things via Wei Wuxian and cannot deny he actually enjoying his company. Wei Wuxian start coming on Wednesday noon for chess game and he act grumpily preparing lunch for both of them while Wei Wuxian trying to sneak in chilli oils and spices into his food. Lan Qiren pretends to be annoyed and halfheartedly scold him. Wei Wuxian would laugh and start telling stories when he worked at a diner about how the cooks teached him some recipes but Lan Wangji won’t allowed him cooking at their house because he would burned the kitchen and poison himself. If Lan Qiren’s mouth twitching a small smile and let out some dry comments, Wei Wuxian will only laugh and continue his tales, no one will say anything.

So these Sunday brunch, Tuesday afternoon tea, once in a month Friday dinner, every holiday celebration and Wednesday noon chess game keep happening, Lan Qiren have no complaints.

#wangxian #lan wangji #wei wuxian #good uncle lan qiren #mdzs

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sproutzai · 7 hours

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Do you have any fluffy Dazai in love headcanons you'd like to share?

ABSOLUTELY I DO !!! ( some of these are obviously x reader others are just. general hcs )

dazai obviously absolutely adores cuddling. it can't be a headcanon post without mentioning how he clings to you whenever he can get his grubby hands on you. he's a little like a big dog if you squint - you can sit anywhere and even if he's not supposed to fit in your lap , damn we'll hes crawling into it and nestling himself into your chest regardless.

he likes sharing meals with you too. he's always had problems with eating, everyone knows that. but with you? something about the joint effort gives him that extra push. maybe it's the excitement behind preparing the meal, maybe its how he enjoys reading your expression on what restaurants you want when you're ordering takeout. or maybe it's the quiet praise you give him when he's eaten more then usual. whatever it is, it's a good motivator to get him to eat anything.

he figets with anything. any necklaces or jewellery you're wearing are basically toys to him. dazai adores listening to you ramble while he plays with the loose threads of your shirt, fiddling with your hand while you talk about whatever hell you'd been dealing with lately. he adores your voice, and something about the closeness and how he can keep his hands busy makes it all so much better. it helps him focus on anything other then his mind.

he likes going on walks, this might seem pretty basic. but sometimes hearing the birdsong and feeling the breeze on his cheeks sways him away from finding any new suicide methods to attempt while out there. the scent in the air as he passes a bakery, when he decides to give himself a little treat. seeing things in the window he knows his coworkers would like. things like that .

on the subject of coworkers, dazai likes to leave little gifts around for you and members of the agency. he doesn't credit himself for them at all - but sometimes there's a new pen on kunikidas desk that dazai doesn't annoy him into snapping as fast. sometimes there's a lint roller on atsushis desk , because he knows how bad white cat hair is on black trousers. sometimes there's stacks of candy on ranpos desk, ones he'd been rambling about wanting to try for months. little things like that.

whenever its cold outside he has a habit to share pockets with you. gently taking your hand in his and pulling it into the pocket of his trenchcoat, chuckling when you ask him what he's doing and simply kissing the top of your head as an answer. proximity is everything to him - if you couldn't tell already.

dazai gets really sleepy around you easily. he feels a LOT safer around you , and as a result he doesn't mind it as much when he finds himself drifting to sleep when he's laying in your lap after a long day. he knows you won't hurt him, he knows nothing bad will happen to him when hes unconcious. so he allows himself to close his eyes and snuggle that little bit closer.

#🌱 idle #🌱 mumbles #🌱 flowerbed ; flamey #dazai bungou stray dogs #dazai bsd #dazai #bsd dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai osamu x reader #dazai x reader #dazai x y/n #dazai osamu #dazai x you #dazai x reader fluff

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eli0004 · 1 day

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Possible request only if you get time slash want to <3, can be headcanons but I always like to ask.

Levi’s reaction to having feelings for reader, (possibly them being established friends or at least comrades) but Levi noticing reader already has someone pursuing them too? How do you think Levi would react if someone else was pursuing reader, would it encourage him to voice his emotions?

Lets say in this instance the “competition” isn’t someone Levi views as nothing, could possibly be someone deemed as “good looking” and Levi feels off when the person gives reader attention.

This is such a good idea Anon, i love the way you think!

Pairing: Levi x GN! Reader

Synopsis: How Levi behaves when he has competition 😈

Warnings: jealousy, an arrogant man lmfao

I had to do a lot of thinking about this, for one reason. Levi is very selfless, and i do believe, canonically speaking, that he would simply back up and let you make that choice. Ultimately he would rather you be happy, regardless of how that affected him.

Especially since in a lot of ways, he would likely not see himself as fully capable of providing you with that level of happiness.

And, if that other person is someone who, like you said, Levi deems more attractive or more suitable for you, i think he would have a hard time convincing himself that he’s more worthy of your attention, let alone you.

And having met you and then found out someone else had their eye on you, he thinks: What could he possibly learn about you that the other guy doesn’t already know? Tactics he could use that haven’t already been tried? Conversations he could have with you, that hadn’t already been had?

But, alternatively, let’s say he had known you first, and had been the one to get to know you before the other person did. Levi would be a bit salty.

You’d sat with him, told him your stories, he knows about your favorite foods, how you like your tea, how you bite your lip when you concentrate. Even though his quiet listening and your mindless chattering, the two of you had become close.

To the naked eye, it appeared Levi had simply taken a liking to your company, but for him it was far more than that. Selfishly, he loved you.

When you introduced him to your new friend, it wasn’t long before you picked up on his jealousy.

The other guy, we’ll call him number two (because he could never be number one in comparison with Levi Ackerman), could flatter and flirt all he wanted, he doesn’t know you like Levi knows you.

He’d watch as number two flashed his handsome smiles, called you beautiful, bragged about his wealth and how he could care for you. He’d roll his eyes when he’d pass him by on the way to bring you a dozen roses

“Don’t you know anything about y/n? They prefer lilies. At least take them out of that tacky plastic first, how embarrassing.”

“That isn’t how y/n likes their tea, that’s far too much sugar. You’d know that if you ever bothered to stop talking about yourself.”

Levi isn’t the type to intentionally sabotage a budding relationship, but he is the type to sulk about it for as long as it takes for him to get over you. Ultimately, the only way he’d intervene is if he caught any indication that you might reciprocate his feelings.

I believe he’d struggle knowing what to say in person, so he’d write you a letter. He’d describe to you how he initially didn’t intend to tell you, how he wanted to back off and let you make the choice to be with whoever made you happy. But that if what he’d heard was true, he couldn’t stand by and let you slip through his fingers.

Levi would be anxious, absolutely miserable, stomach churning and mind racing while he waited for your response. But, that nervousness would quickly dissolve into delight as he spotted number two looking rather dejected, sending Levi a nasty glare and shoving his hands in his pockets as you let him down gently the next day.

There was a twinkle in your eyes as yours met his, a knowing smile spreading across your face. When you greeted him that morning, voice soft and flirtatious, he knew he’d won.

#attack on titan #aot #aot x reader #aot headcanons #aot smut #aot x y/n #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi angst #levi headcanons #levi aot #snk levi #levi attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #snk

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redr0sewrites · 2 days

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Hii!! Can I request Sevika x fem!reader who is rlly clingy, affectionate and wants to ramble and be close to Sevika all the time, but gets embarrassed and shy abt it?? Tyy!! 🩷🫶

🥀A/n: Sevika is literally sooooooo-

🥀Cw: fluff, a bit suggestive but nothing even remotely explicit!

we all know sevika has a tough persona, but when it comes to you, she practically melts

she secretly adores how affectionate you are, but never admits it!!!

when you first met, she's surprised by how genuinely sweet you are and finds herself becoming protective over you

it takes her a while to recognize that she was catching feelings for you, but once she realizes it hits her like a fucking truck

sevika is confident, but she isn't great at communicating her feelings. there is definitely a lot of mutual pining and "idiots to lovers" going down before either of you actually make a move on eachother 😭 all of silco's cronies literally had a betting pool on when you two would get together (ran and silco won 💀)

sevika is definitely the one to make the first move, she doesn't want to lose you and would probably confess rather bluntly. upon seeing you get so flustered, she almost thinks you don't reciprocate, until you shyly tell her you feel the same

once you two are official??? sevika has never been happier. she makes it her life goal to torture you (in the best ways)

teases you mercilessly about how shy and embarrassed you are around her!!! sevika loves intentionally flustering you, especially when others are around. she isn't big on pda, but sometimes she can't help but grab your face and pull you into a deep kiss, only to pull away and admire your shocked and flustered expression

LOOOTSSSS of flirting, even when you two are officially dating. petnames too, she calls you princess, doll, babe, and hon, but her favorite has to be simply using the word my in front of your name

she adores your affection! as previously stated, she is not a big fan of pda, but in private she adores how clingy you are.

sevika is a very cuddly sleeper, i said what i said. she sleeps on her stomach and hugs her pillows, but once she starts sleeping with you, she cuddles you in her sleep instead!

she gives you lots of forehead and hand kisses, she thinks theyre more meaningful

protective!!!! sevika knows you can handle yourself, but she wants you to know that she's always on your side if necessary. would absolutely defend you against anybody and is your biggest supporter. she's literally your ride or die, and is not the type to play devil's advocate whenever it comes to arguments bc she genuinely cares about your opinions

speaking of arguments, they never escalate too much. sevika is stubborn, but she's also reasonable and is pretty good at compromise. i actually think an affectionate partner would be really good for her, i hc that she doesn't have much relationship experience like at all. she grew up in the undercity and there really wasn't much opportunity for romance outside of a sexual setting, so you're like a breath of fresh air. sevika takes her time when adjusting to receiving (and giving) affection, so that may cause a bit of conflict at the start of your relationship, but once you're over those hurdles and when she fully trusts you she is a lot more affectionate

sevika is very touch starved and secretly clingy herself, but you didn't hear it from me :)

when it comes to rambling and infodumping, sevika is SUCH a good listener. she loves listening to you ramble while she works on her metal arm, and will nod along and agree with you whenever necessary. she's also pretty good at advice, although she can be a bit blunt. she's honest and tells it like it is, and is very open with you about her opinions.

loooooveeesss having you close to her so she can keep an eye on you. she wants to make sure you're safe is all, and if you wanted privacy she would totally oblige, but sevika truly loves having you around! if you also work for silco, sometimes she'll accompany you on your missions so that you won't be lonely and also bc she thinks its hot when her "cute litle girlfriend" kills people... omg what who said that!!!

you both are the epitome of "opposites attract", and sevika loves you because of it!

the familiar sound of the fromt door of your apartment unlocking alerts you to Sevika's arrival.

"Sev!" your voice comes out much more excited than you anticipated, but at the moment you couldn't care less. "your back!!!" you run up to your girlfriend, wrapping your arms around her neck and planting a kiss right om her lips. she's so tall you have to stand on tip-toes just to reach her, and your stomach flips as her familiar, booming laugh echoes around you. "i see someone missed me," Sevika chuckles, pulling away to flick you gently on the forehead.

you feel your cheeks heat up, giving her a light smack on the arm before leaning up to kiss her on the cheek again. "oh, fuck you.." you murmur, and Sevika smirks. "i can if you want me to-"

"oh, shut uuup!!" if you haven't already melted into the floor because of how embarrassed you were, you definitely would now. "how was the mission?" your desperate to change the topic, lest you burst aflame from how warm your cheeks feel. "it went smoothly," Sevika replied, sitting down at your guys' kitchen table and kicking her shoes off into a messy pile by the doorway, "but i missed my girl."

you walk over to her and kiss her on the forehead, before she tugs you in by the waistband and pulls you onto her lap. you gasp, giggling as she wraps her arms around your waist. "well, i think you'll be happy to know that your girl missed you too." Sevika hums, wrapping her metal hand around your throat and pulling you into a gentle kiss.

i am unhealthily obsessed with her SHES SOOOOOOOOO AUGHHHH

#sevika #arcane sevika #sevika x reader #sevika x you #sevika x y/n #sevika fluff #sevika arcane #arcane x reader #arcane imagines #arcane x female reader #arcane x you #arcane x y/n #arcane fluff #arcane headcanon #sevika headcanon #sevika x female reader #arcane fanfic

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carolperkinsexgirlfriend · 3 days

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Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 118

Part 1 Part 117

Winter break passes better than summer had for Will. Mom’s loosened his leash enough that he can go to the arcade unsupervised, or hang out at Dustin’s house, or sequester himself in Mike’s stuffy basement and run a campaign like the good old days.

El closed the gate, and everyone’s convinced the Upside-Down is gone. Only Steve, Eddie, and Will can feel their connection stretch the miles between their abodes and know the truth: it’s not over.

Things will never be the same again.

Will doesn’t mention it. This little slice of normalcy is far too precious to jeopardize with the truth.

The holiday’s in the Byers house have always been low-key, but it’s been worse since last year. They don’t even put up lights anymore. No one’s told him why, and he hasn’t asked.

Still, when he asks his Mom, she gladly agrees to host their extended family. They’d done it at the Munson’s last year, hemmed into a space far too small for that many bodies.

It’s Eddie who suggests a secret santa exchange. Everyone huddles in Will’s living room, pulling names from one of Wayne’s baseball caps, groaning when Carol draws the last slip and it’s her own name. They crumple the pieces and try again.

Will stares down at El’s name and sneaks furtive looks up at her. She wasn’t around last Chrismtas, still holed up in Chief Hopper’s cabin pretending not to exist. But, her leash has been loosened as well, so here she is, beaming down at her own drawn name and bouncing on her toes with excitement.

Has she ever celebrated a holiday before? Has she ever even gotten a present?

It’s a lot of pressure. He feels it pushing down on him, but then Steve throws his arm around Will’s shoulders and initiates their usual tug, tug, tug ritual, and it all eases off. Like, Steve, even unknowingly, will always take the weight off Will’s shoulders and carry it himself.

He stares down at the piece of paper and starts to plan.

It takes the entire allotted two weeks to finish. He stares down at the finished project. Will she like it? Is he skipping over some boundary he doesn’t even know is there?

It doesn’t matter: he’s out of time, so he rolls the paper up and pushes it carefully into one of Jonathan’s old poster tubes, and rushes into the living room to wrap it.

Everyone gathers, sitting on couches and chairs and the carpet. Dustin crouches in the corner where they’d all piled their presents, squinting at small handwriting and passing around a variety of parcels.

They go in a circle, gift after gift. Will opens his own, beaming down at a trio of hand-painted figures from Lucas.

When Jonathan opens his, he stares down at it, mouth opening and closing, no sounds coming out. Will leans over to peer around the half-unwrapped gift to see what’s robbed him of speech.

It’s a cassette player, still in the original box, and it must be nice based on the way Jonathan’s staring at it like it’s the holy grail.

“I put a tape in it for you to listen to,” Steve says. His cheeks are pink, and he’s twiddling the ring on his pinkie. “You said I owed you one.”

Jonathan reaches out to pry the box open, staring in like he’ll find the answers to the meaning of life rather than a cassette player. “I was kidding,” Jonathan replies, but he’s smiling down at it now as he pulls it out of the box and pops the deck to look at what’s inside.

“You don’t even want to know what Stevie here had to do to get Johnny boy's name from the draw,” Eddie says, smiling from where he’s sitting on the rug. Steve elbows him in the ribs, but he just keeps talking. “And then he had to do it all over again when Perky Perkins screwed all his hard work and drew her own name.”

Carol gasps, rounding on Steve and kicking out at him ruthlessly close to his crotch. “You told him?” she shrieks.

Will has no idea what they’re on about but he laughs along with everyone else, watching all three of them descend into an all-out wrestling match like the children they’re not.

It doesn’t stop until they get dangerously close to knocking over the TV, and Mom claps to get their attention. They all settle back in to finish opening presents.

Because Will’s life has always been an unlucky one, El goes last. His anxiety ratchets up with every minute that passes, reaching an all-time-high as she finally starts peeling the paper away.

Unlike the rest of them, she picks the tape off the foil, peeling it away, careful not to rip the paper at all. She folds it all nicely, and hands it to Chief Hopper for safe-keeping.

She then stares down at the cardboard tube, brow furrowed until Mike tells her she has to open the other end. El flips the tube on its head, pulls off the top, and pulls out the rolled up paper inside.

With that same characteristic care, she unrolls it, only to gasp at what she finds. Will watches her face, digging his fingernails into his thighs.

“What is it?” Chief Hopper asks, leaning over her shoulder to ger a peek. He looks down at it with an expressionless face before smiling and patting her shoulder.

El nods, not looking away from the page in front of her.

Will has limited supplies, but he’d used all the best colored pencils he owns, and had Jonathan buy him a big piece of paper from Melvald’s.

On one edge of the page stands El. She looks fierce the way she has every time he’s seen her use her powers, hand raised and a huge beam of white light cutting across the darkness.

Within that beam, he’s painted all the people in this room. First, Chief Hopper in his police uniform, standing beside Mom, gun raised and pointed toward the darkness. Then, Mike, Lucas, and Dusin, dressed as their D&D characters holding a variety of weapons. Will, Steve, and Eddie stand farther along the page, back to back to back as they cover each other’s weak bits. Then Jonathan and Nancy, Nancy with a gun, and Jonathan slightly behind her, all ready to face whatever comes out of the darkness. And at the farthest corner, Barb stands with a baseball bat covered in nails, Carol standing slightly behind her, pointing into the darkness like she’s clueing Barb in on a monster’s location.

The whole thing ended up a little messy. Nancy’s hands look wonky, and there’s something wrong with Steve’s nose, but El’s beaming down at it like it’s the Mona Lisa.

“Be careful with it until we can get a frame for it,” Chief Hopper says, hand still clasping onto her shoulder.

She looks up at him, smiling even wider as she asks, “I can put it in my room?”

“Of course, kid.”

El stares down at the page for a few seconds more before rolling it back up with slow movements, making it small enough that it slides perfectly into its roll. She puts it on Chief Hopper’s lap, staring down at it for a second like she can’t bear to look away.

She then barrels across the room, colliding with Will so hard that they both end up on the carpet. “Thank you, Will,” El says, clutching onto him hard.

He pats her back awkwardly, looking around the room for help and finding none. “You’re welcome.”

“It is the best present I have ever gotten.”

That makes Will a little sad, but all he says is, “Merry Christmas.” He waits uncomfortably for her to get off him so he can sit back up.

It’s not long until everyone starts trickling out, Carol and Barbara herding Max and Lucas along with them to drop off, and Nancy snagging Mike and Dustin after sharing a kiss with Jonathan that Eddie makes barfing noises at.

Chief Hopper shepherds El into his truck, and Wayne follows them out, off to work the night shift.

Only Eddie and Steve stay. They all pile into Will’s room. His bed’s not big enough for the three of them, so they curl around each other on the floor, blankets haphazardly piled atop them.

It doesn’t take Will long to fall asleep, comfortable with Steve and Eddie at his back, the comforting sounds of his Mom cleaning up in the other room.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #my fic #steddie upsidedown au #will byers #had to sneak some will and el sibling bonding in

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crownmemes · 1 day

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Friendship Starters, Vol. 3

(Sentences for friends, with an assortment of feelings. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"I can handle my own problems! I've done it for a long time before you came along!"

"Wow! Is this yours?"

"I wonder what your mum would say if she could see us now?"

"Have you ever told your father what you just told me?"

"Don't worry, I can take care of myself!"

"I wish that it could always be like this."

"Is he really your father? He's scary."

"Maybe you should tell me what's bothering you?"

"One day, you'll decide to live a little!"

"My dad doesn't even like me."

"What? Is there some rule against having fun?"

"I will always be there for you when you need me."

"That's the last time we do that!"

"We've been through a lot together. Maybe too much."

"You're not getting rid of me, so get used to it."

"Do you need a hug?"

"Can you at least pretend to enjoy yourself?"

"Don't be so grumpy!"

"So, this is what you do with your retirement?"

"I know you better than you know yourself."

"Well, that is a deeply odd thing to say!"

"I am cool, aren't I?"

"You know me; I'm always careful!"

"Why are you smiling at me like that? It's creeping me out!"

"You're the first person that I've talked to about any of this."

"Don't you ever listen to me?"

"You can't hide out here forever, you know. You have to go home sometime."

"Promise you'll take me with you?"

"You're in a very strange mood today!"

"I came as soon as I saw the morning paper. I thought you might need a friend."

"Remember how much fun we used to have? Why can’t we just have fun like that again? "

"Don't you dare!"

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #assorted;#friends;

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risoria · 12 hours

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so. have you seen the pictures from Rafah of the blackened, charred infants? the toddler with no head?

i would like to ask a favour of everyone seeing this post, from one human to another. don't think about the things you can't do - because as it seems, nothing is enough, and nobody can do enough - there is no use to be paralyzed by these thoughts. instead focus on the things you are already doing and the things you can do. i will start by compile a small list of personal suggestions, and please add to it from your own resources! this list is not numbered, i will just add things that i can think of off the top of my head and if it is of any help to at least one person, thats good. take care of yourself - that includes taking care of others, and this world we live in.

this is obvious but keep listening to Palestinian voices. i am mostly active on twitter so i will give some examples from there: Hind_Gaza, HossamShabat, BayanPalestine (press). MuhammadSmiry, does community work with Care for Gaza. m7mdkurd. Everyone is saying mostly the same thing - keep talking, keep protesting, keep boycotting. so do it.

keep talking. humans are social animals and it's as simple as this: the ongoing genocide is dire, urgent and catastrophic - i dont think i need to tell you that. but when people, a lot of people, share posts with each other and reiterate this fact the urgency will be felt stronger by everyone, and reach people who would otherwise maybe not see the reports of the genocide on their screens. if people instead choose to stop sharing and stop talking because it's "been so long" or it's "too difficult", the suffering will become normalized and the only thing people will see on their feeds are mundane things - food, pets, fandoms, and it will send the message that oh, it's not that important after all.... sometimes, you SHOULD feel disturbed and uncomfortable. these feelings are not evil - they will be channelled into actions to better a situation and better the world. silence is violence.

search for protests near your town, sometimes they're hard to find but once you find your local organizations for the Palestinian movement, follow them and you will usually find them! this all depends on where you live of course - but most often there will be fundraisers and events and mailing campaigns etc, and the more people joining the better. and, most importantly i would say, share these events and pictures (no faces of strangers, ofc! from protests on your facebook, twitter etc - because that way people close to you will see them and that it's completely rational and normal to attend protests, and if they've been on the fence maybe they will reach out and join you.

donate if you are able and share links to the different organizations - some examples are Care for Gaza, Sulala animal rescue, the Gazan Municipality Life for Gaza project (https://gaza-city.ensany.com/campaign/6737), the PCRF.

individual gofundmes - here is the google doc with a lot of campaigns, but im sure there are lots of them that arent yet added: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1-DDMFyn-ttboPXrz1bB3MFk7BlzCwfugh4259Wh7U1s/htmlview

donate e-sims, which will be sent by the Esims for Gaza team to people in Gaza, to help communicate with their families etc during blackouts. it's very quick and easy and on nomad you can get a referral code which gives someone else 25% off their first purchase, and there's also often different bonus codes. on the website there's tutorials for how to buy the different esims. https://gazaesims.com/

there's some different charity shops where you can buy Palestinian products and the proceeds help Palestinian artisans and people. here are some examples, please add more if you know any: https://handmadepalestine.com/ (based in Ramallah, Palestine), https://forpalestine.dk/ (based in Denmark), https://www.shoppalestine.org/ (based in the US)

boycott!! the BDS of course have their targeted brands (https://bdsmovement.net/) but there's also for example the witness website with lists of brands and the reasons for boycotting them (https://boycott.thewitness.news/) and some different apps that do the same thing, like the "no thanks" app. yes, the list of brands is very, very long. maybe all of it isn't feasible BUT i think a good start would be to go through them and decide which ones are unnecessary either way that you're better off without (mcdonalds, starbucks etc), and then which ones are part of your usual shopping routine, make a mental note of them and pick different options - see it as an opportunity to try new things, to support local brands and smaller businesses!

go do yourself a favour and give Palestinian-Canadian artist Nemahsis' new single "stick of gum" a listen, it's super good! <3 https://youtu.be/VsqYlmf3SAg?si=EK_TZjo0Ijny8hMT

please, add more tips and resources below or just share your own pictures or art or thoughts!

#palestine #gaza #resources #please add on with your own! <3 #i just wanted to compile these links in one place and also bc i want to make a similar one for my facebook friends...

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multimousefanatic · 2 days

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The temptation to write a one shot set in the future where Adrien proposes with the Graham De Vanily rings and Marinette is like “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” Is so strong

But I feel like…. On one hand, it’s SO obvious, somebody has to have already done it, right?

On the other hand… The Graham De Vanily rings are wedding bands and technically you don’t wear those until the actual wedding right? You have an engagement ring while you’re engaged and then you put the wedding bands on during the ceremony?

But then I’m like… it’s all the more dramatic if she doesn’t know until the actual wedding ceremony when she sees the rings and they have to stop the wedding to have the argument like

Oh who am I kidding? Here’s the dialogue only rough draft:

“Adrien… Sweet heart…. Kitty… You know I want to marry you, I’ve wanted to marry you since we were 14, but I will absolutely not, under any circumstances, be wearing that ring.”

“But I want you to have it, M’Lady.”

“No, you’re the only one who gets to wear those rings. They’re yours.”

“And I am yours, so why shouldn’t you have one?”

“Because it’s too important! People lose or chip their wedding rings all the time, Adrien, and I don’t know if you’ve forgotten but you’re actually marrying a walking natural disaster.”

“You are not a disaster and there’s no one I would trust more in the world with one of these rings.”

“Why don’t you get it? If something happens to the ring, something could happen to you. And it would be all my fault. I’m sorry, Chaton, but I love you too much to take that risk.”

“You’ve managed to care for a particularly coveted pair of earrings just fine. Are you really telling me that a ring is too much responsibility for the great Ladybug?”

“I haven’t, actually. I lost the earrings in Shanghai when we were kids.”

“What?”

“And if I lose this ring, or damage it in any way, I will never forgive myself. This is your life you’re trying to gamble away, here.”

“It’s not a gamble. If you’re so worried about it, just don’t take it off.”

“Right and then what happens when my fingers swell up so bad that it’s cutting off my circulation and they have to cut the ring off my finger? I’ll tell you what’ll happen, they’ll have to cut my whole finger off!”

“That’s not a thing.”

“It is actually, specifically with wedding rings because it’s so common for people to not take them off for years at a time. Most people would cut the ring instead of the finger, but I’d rather lose a finger than lose you.”

“Listen, Bugaboo, I knew you’d be a bit… apprehensive about this, but it’s really important to me. These rings felt like such a heavy weight to carry when I learned what they were and you’re the one who’s been there to make sure I actually carry it instead of locking them in a drawer and pretending they don’t exist to keep myself from throwing them away or cataclysming them. You’ve always handled them, and me, with care. If it weren’t for you, I don’t think I’d be able to wear them. But I am, because you’ve helped me to realize they’re not all that heavy, they’re just another part of me, and I’m asking you to help me carry them now, the way you always have. I’ve always felt safer in your hands than my own.”

“Your unwavering faith in me has put your life at risk more times than I can count.”

“And yet I’m still right here, thanks to you.”

“…Okay. But if I have to take it off for any reason, I’m giving it to you or putting it in a safe if I can’t give it to you. And if I have even one scare, if I misplace it once, if I so much as scratch it, I’m giving it back to you and I’m never wearing it again.”

“You won’t, you love me too much. And now you’ll always have a piece of me with you.”

“…I’m sorry I ruined your proposal.”

“Oh you didn’t. This wasn’t your proposal.”

“What?”

“Trial run. Now you know the real thing’s coming, but you won’t know when or where. I’m going to have a lot of fun faking you out for this next while.”

“I should have never made you watch the Office.”

#adrienette #mlb #love square #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous adrien #adrien agreste #mlb adrien #ladynoir #mlb marinette #sentimonster adrien #I’m probably gonna end up turning this into a TikTok Skit

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xxlovelynovaxx · 3 days

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Honestly, I have exactly one issue with how people talk about things like transandrophobia, transmisogyny, and exorsexism when they acknowledge they all exist:

These are not terms exclusive to any ontological identity.

The actual material experience of different types of gendered transphobia is highly subjective. I used to say that it depended on how a bigot perceives you. Quite frankly, my personal experiences have shifted my views so that now I believe it can be as much what form (or forms!) is most convenient to a bigot as directed at perceived identity. It's the "the antisemite realizes the absurdity of his claims" all over again - they often are aware they are using often mixed, contradictory arguments. They just don't care, because it helps further their oppression of us.

This is why I like distinguishing between antitransmasculinity/antitransfemininity/antinonbinarity/etc, and transandrophobia/transmisogyny/ceterophobia/etc. It's why I like having multiple terms for overlapping but slightly different experiences, like ceterophobia and exorsexism.

It's why I appreciate every single time someone chimes in on a post of mine to say "I've experienced this too even though I am [different identity]". It's why I am wary of posts and people who strongly imply exclusivity or near exclusivity of certain experiences/types of bigotry (especially when this is directed at binary-unaligned and multigender people). It's why I actively distrust people going "hey, talking about experiencing this too, or being upset when you have been actively and especially explictly excluded from broad statements about a type of henders transphobia", and so on, and often block them for doing so.

Non-transmasc nonbinary people experience transandrophobia. Non-transfem nonbinary people experience transmisogyny. Hell, binary trans people experience ceterophobia, regularly even. This is true regardless of agab or asab, regardless of actual sex (as in, whether someone is actually their asab, identifies as transsexual, or intersex, regardless of actual gender), regardless of actual gender, regardless of presentation, regardless of transition choices... you get the point.

A lot of this ties into exorsexism and intersexism, too. People insist that misgendering someone nonbinary by forcing them into the binary of "transmasc" or "transfem" is fine based on what hormones they're taking, what dyadic sex they believe someone's intersex variation is adjacent to, and so on, because these are "political" categories.

And yet, these same people when explicitly binary or binary-aligned (as in, nonbinary man or woman or nonbinary transmasc or transfem; transmasc/transfem is itself a gender binary, or at least treated as one in queer spaces) recognize that it would be misgendering to call them nonbinary (or if nonbinary, not binary-aligned). To call them "transneutral", "transandrogenous", "transfemmasc", and so on, would very much be misgendering no matter the basis (agab, transition choices, presentation, etc).

I've seen people do this, but quite frankly I've blocked so many of them that at this point I doubt most of them will ever see this. This is more me talking to those willing to listen.

Because it's not just that even in trans spaces, nonbinary identities are still treated as less legitimate, that going from nonbinary to binary trans is treated differently than going from nonbinary to binary is not (much in the way that bi->monosexual is treated differently to going from monosexual->bi). And of course, caveat there that a HUGE feature of transandrophobia is explicitly demonizing going from nonbinary to man, so this is EXTREMELY highly contextual on the space you're in and the people you share it with.

It's that binary trans people also often don't have the space, or language, or anything, to talk about the ceterophobia and exorsexism they face. This is very much going all ways.

And this is again why I like terms like antitransmasculinity, antitransfemininity, and antinonbinarity being used to serve a separate purpose from words like transandrophobia, transmisogyny, and ceterophobia.

The former category focuses on the identity itself. It says "these are the things that [transfems/transmascs/nonbinary people] face". It is language for the collective experiences of that identity. Antitransmasculinity, for example, includes transandrophobia, transmisogyny, ceterophobia, exorsexism, antimasculinity, butchphobia, anti-GNC bigotry, misogyny, and more; but the data spread for intensity and amount of each will differ from say, antitransfemininity. In antitransfemininity, for example, transmisogyny will generally be higher, transandrophobia lower, antimasculinity will manifest as misgendering rather than malgendering, and so on.

That leaves terms for gendered transphobia free to focus on the explicit forms they take while encompassing ALL victims regardless of specific identity. It leaves room for intersex people taking hormones that "match" their violently assigned gender not being misgendered, for afab transfems and amab transmascs, for transneutral people who are pursuing a transition that aligns with binary perisex bodies, and so on.

I still call these gendered transphobia to acknowledge that they have been constructed to be primarily wielded and most effective against certain groups, and that presentation and perceived identity often influence the type of bigotry we as trans people face.

I guess I just feel... well, the more nuance, the more depth and versatility of meaning in our language and theory, the better. There are less misunderstandings, greater understanding of our oppression, and a greater accuracy in reflecting people's actual lived experiences.

And since I'm always anxious about being misperceived - none of this is an attack on anyone. These are just my thoughts on complex, systemic shit that we're all dealing with. This issue I mentioned at the beginning isn't even really with any of the people I've seen doing this. It's with the language and theory itself. I just wanna do my part to broaden the discussion.

#transandrophobia #transmisandry #transmisogyny #exorsexism #ceterophobia #anti transmasculinity #anti transfemininity #anti nonbinarity #intersexism #transintermisia

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