xxlovelynovaxx - Tumblr blog

xxlovelynovaxx · 5 hours

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Y'know, I know Tumblr is the No Reading Comprehension Piss on the Poor website, but like.

I feel like a lot of nuance is lost when people are like "I never SAID that how DARE you ever get that out of my post" when sometimes, yeah, you didn't say that but you did IMPLY it, or it's an extremely logical end result of the exact arguments you're making, or similar.

It's like, part of reading comprehension is recognizing that the literal, surface meaning of a text isn't its only meaning. Part of literary composition is recognizing that while you don't hold responsibility for every possible interpretation of your text as a writer, and while not all are equally valid, that your biases and assumptions and subconscious beliefs WILL bleed into your works. Part of that is recognizing that you may in fact be communicating more than you explicitly intended to, and that people responding to your posts' subtext, implications, and such is sometimes because they have GOOD reading comprehension and are actually analyzing the full scope of the text.

Like, this is also the no nuance, "the curtains are just blue website" so like, I'm not surprised. But when someone says "hey, the very literal surface level of what you say isn't all that your writing is saying" and you go "NO. THE CURTAINS ARE ALL BLUE, THAT'S ALL I SAID, IT MEANS NOTHING" they may not in fact be the ones pissing on the poor.

✨Nuance✨

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xxlovelynovaxx · 6 hours

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We've always been a kaleidoscope,

shifting colors turning,

stained glass yet ephemeral,

in morning sunlight burning -

call for the "original",

for a self certain you are yearning,

but we are all we ever were,

a multitude undiscerning;

a shapeshifter's "true form",

is one of overturning,

of shifting; questioning, impermanence;

of leaving and returning -

So cast aside those ropes and chains,

to know is to keep learning,

stop mistaking your own distress

for this existence being "concerning",

We are a rainbow after the storm;

and yet we are the storm churning -

beauty in a moment, blink, and then gone -

caught in the secerning...

What we are is to change.

Isn't that, of love, deserving?

#plural #pluralgang #pluralpunk #poetry #my poetry

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xxlovelynovaxx · 6 hours

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One time me and my friends were joking around and one of us said "There are only two genders cheese and crackers" and my friend said in her gayest voice possible "I'm a cheez-it" and I can't stop thinking about it

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xxlovelynovaxx · 6 hours

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Shuro: You used black magic to bring back Falin, are you stupid?!

Laios: hey what the fuck is your problem man?

Senshi:

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xxlovelynovaxx · 6 hours

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I would kill for you (despite that doing so goes against every grain of my morals)

I would let live for you (despite that your pain makes me thirst for blood)

I would live for you (despite that it is so, so hard)

I would die for you (despite that I know that my sacrifice is not a gift to you; I am sorry)

I love you; and that is a wonderful, terrible thing.

#poetry #my poetry

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xxlovelynovaxx · 6 hours

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Sometimes it helps too to first simply go "I'm angry, and I'm going to find a safe way to express it".

I'm not always in a place to be able to do this when in the height of my anger, but if I'm in an environment where I can remove myself and go... idk, throw plushies around, or scream into something, or punch something soft/safe, or even break junk plates in a ziploc as a tiny budget rage room, often acknowledging and giving that space for the emotion to just exist first calms it enough that it lets me examine it.

Emotions really are just animals to me, and soothing them can be a complex process. Working with them (again, in a safe way) and letting them work out their energy means they'll often work with you once you do.

Idk, this is just meant to be a "yes, and" to the above, because the people above are SO right. Just, having personally struggled with the above, this is what helps me do that! ^^

Pay attention to what makes you feel on edge. If you’re feeling angry try to stop and assess what is triggering that anger. It doesn’t have to make sense. Is the sound of shoes squeaking on the floor grating? Is the way someone is asking you for something upsetting even if the ask isn’t? Understanding what is bothering us is the first step to diffusing our anger.

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xxlovelynovaxx · 6 hours

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All of this!!!

And how quickly people (not those above) forget that "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is a good rule of thumb still in the VAST majority of situations.

I agree mostly. But I'm saying, if I see someone publish a chapter and insists that the readers never comment anything negative about any elements in that chapter, it's unfair to expect any positive comments either.

it’s like this, right

If you see a street musician, you have three options:

Walk past without saying anything

Stop and listen to the music, but don’t give them any money

Stop and listen to the music and if you have the money and liked what they played, you give them money

Nowhere in any of that is the option, “Stop and criticize them to ‘help them improve their performance.’”

If you do that, you are considered an asshole. That’s just how life works.

In the same manner, when you read a fanfiction, you have three options:

Read it, like and/or love it, leave without a word

Read it, dislike and/or hate it, leave without a word

Read it, like and/or loveit, leave a comment

If you don’t like it? You don’t have to comment!

If you did like it but there was an element that wasn’t to your specific taste? Focus on the part you did like when you comment.

If you can’t do that, then walk away. Don’t say anything.

You’re right, you don’t have to leave a positive comment, but I’m not telling you that you have to leave a positive comment. I’m telling you that if you can’t leave one, then don’t leave a comment at all.

If the only way you’re willing to tell someone about the parts of their story that you liked is to also tell them the parts that you did not like and/or actively hate? Then don’t comment. Do. Not. Comment.

Because no matter how long each of those lists are–no matter if the good outweighs the bad or not–the only thing you’ve done is left a sour taste in someone’s mouth.

People do this for fun. It’s not fun if we give you something and the only thing we get back is that sour taste.

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xxlovelynovaxx · 6 hours

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Height gap romance except the shorter one is frequently depicted in situations where they are contextually taller. The taller one sitting while the shorter one looms over them. Both of them lying in bed with the taller one’s head pressed to the shorter one’s chest. The shorter one straddling the taller one’s lap and leaning down for a kiss. The taller one on their knees as the shorter one tilts their head up. Please, it makes me go feral

#for sunshine

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 days

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I'm naming my dick Big Cumbus

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 days

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Adding ours since we meant to a while back!

1. Depends on the distance, usually not further than I could vocally communicate, and the one exception is the companion that is technically a system member.

2. Not sure? I can like, imagine them in daydreams same as imagining an external person, if that counts.

3. Not really, I've physically proxied for them (they communicate what they'd like me to do, and I do it for them) and very rarely I can feel like... an external nonphysical sense similar to touch/pressure to like, indicate what they want me to do, as if they used an invisible psychic hand to touch my body, but it's purely mental/emotional.

4. Yes plural and... it's hard to say exactly. Besides having an external body and never occupying ours, our companions just... feel like they're in a further "orbit" than our headmates, so to speak? A valence shell of a different energy level. Unfortunately it does come down pretty much to vibes for us... although tbf there's also just... asking a given headmate or companion, they usually know best which one they are ^^

And ofc some can be both, it's just... not been as common for us, and usually if it is the case it's that a companion chose to join the system. It's very rare, unless we were to specifically construct a body for a headmate, that a headmate would choose a vessel like that, and if they did they might end up forming an external system themselves with whatever consciousness/es might already be there

I'm Interested In The Overlap Between POSIC+ Experiences And Headmate Manifestations in Plural Systems

For anyone in the POSIC+ or delusional Companion communities, especially with Companions you talk to on a regular basis, I'd like to ask a few questions:

1. Can you mentally communicate with your Companion(s) even at a distance or when not in the same room?

2. Have you ever interacted with your Companion(s) in imagined/visualized/spiritual forms outside of their physical "body." (In daydreams, seeing them externally like imaginary friends, astral projection, etc.)

3. Have you ever had the sensation of your Companion(s) controlling your body, either fully or partially? (For example, maybe while holding them, you'll find your arm moving to a position they want to be in, and it might feel like they moved. Or maybe you type for them online and have a sensation of not being the one typing.)

4. Are you Plural in some way in addition to being POSIC? If so, how do you differentiate between communication with headmates and with your Companion(s)?

Any additional information you'd like to add beyond these questions would be great too!

Huge thank you to anyone who wants to participate! 💖

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 days

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Saw a post saying basically not to abuse medical professionals and like.

Medical professionals have extreme power over their patients. They literally hold people's lives in their hands. Is what you're calling "abuse" actually abuse, or is it self-defense against your abuse of a vulnerable marginalized person?

Well, this is the profession that exists primarily to gatekeep medical care and knowledge (at least under our current legal and political systems, given that if you have the knowledge but lack the paperwork you can face criminal charges for practicing medicine), which has a culture of hero-god worship built up around it and treats any criticism of extreme violations of patient autonomy and medical abuse as heretical and hysterical anti-science ravings.

This is them saying "don't expect us to help you do the most basic aspect of our jobs if you 'mistreat' us, we're not martyrs".

You signed up to deal with people in extreme pain, who are dying, who are in survival mode and like drowning people may accidentally hurt others no matter how badly they wouldn't normally want to, and you claim that if they "really can't help it" that's one thing, but these are the same people claiming that people are either too quiet or too dramatic to be in pain, that let people die because they don't take very serious symptoms seriously until it's too late because they think their judgment is infallible and patients don't know shit about their own bodies, and so on.

Doctors are just fucking medical cops. All I can see when a doctor says this shit (or a nurse or most other medical workers, though I'll admit that there are exceptions) is people accusing my (impoverished disabled neurodivergent queer) ass of abusing my abusive (middle class not queer abled neurotypical) mother. All I can think of is how an abused child or a battered spouse is called abusive the one time they hit back, or even say something mean, or even fucking disobey whoever is considered the "authority" in a given situation.

While this is vague-ing a post, it isn't really at anyone in particular. I'm making my own post about this on my own blog because I have medical trauma* as a result of deeply ingrained systemic abuse, primarily perpetrated by medical professionals.

*If you think trauma makes people LESS reliable narrators on the oppression that caused it, you've bought into sanist psychiatric bullshit and need to check yourself/ves. You might also consider that if the vast vast majority of a marginalized group of people share similar stories of the same type of trauma, the problem isn't actually the fucking "insanity of trauma" and that the problem is actually that fucking bad.

Abuse arises out of hierarchical power imbalances. Patients may be able to hurt medical professionals - especially physically. And I'm not saying there are never entitled people seeking medical care that treat people in general like shit. Some patients may even be able to do lasting harm. But in the vast majority of cases, patients are categorically incapable of abusing medical professionals. If you think otherwise, especially as a medical professional, it's most likely because you're unwilling to examine your own power, privilege, role in upholding deeply harmful ableist systems, the harm you've already done, your own limitations, biases, flaws, fallibility, and bigotry, and the way your own ego gets in the way of acknowledging your complicity in structural ableism.

And you know what? You've been taught at every turn to reinforce and reify those things. It's still your responsibility to deconstruct those and stop hurting vulnerable people, though.

So anyway, don't worry, you're not abusing medical professionals. Even you acting in self defense being called "abuse" is just classic victim blaming. It's the exact same thing that happens to all victims of abuse - while I have complicated feelings about this mnemonic, it is basically DARVO, and sometimes it's also the bullshit concept of "reactive abuse" being weaponized against victims, if they have the bare minimum decency of recognizing the abuses of medical professionals as such.

Don't abuse patients. Don't abuse disabled people. Get over yourself and recognize that you did sign up for a job that is sometimes dangerous, that sick, injured, and dying people don't owe you worshipful gratitude for often failing to do the bare minimum of your damned jobs, and that any actual abuse you face is not from fucking patients, but from your bosses/jobs. Organize, form unions, and actually use them to get better working conditions instead of just to cover your asses while you play Malpractice: The Game, but as a patient who has only been made sicker and had my quality of life ripped from me by 99 percent of you, stop fucking crying "abuse".

You're half a step from calling it "reverse ableism".

#vent post #anti phys

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 days

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Hey! Here’s a little five page comic I did about boot blacking and kink. I had a lot of fun with it, and talked to some really cool people.

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 days

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Ugh, was having a great time mocking my recently imprisoned rival when I noticed the camera positioning makes it so that I appear behind the bars, thus framing me as trapped in a metaphorical prison of the narrative, now my whole day is ruined. Fuck.

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 days

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all my advice about using real athletes to learn drawing bodies beyond hard abs, and my particular pref being wrestlers, also applies to women btw. you can draw women who r strong and not an hourglass shape. fucking do it.

kris statlander, rhea ripley (look at her SHAPE), willow nightingale, ruby soho, these r just four off the top of my head that have obvious musculature and different body types. skye blue and julia hart have more slim cheerleader style bodies as well, i REALLY wanted to put emi sakura who is fucking STOUT (adoring) in this post but i couldn't find a good demonstrative pic, the list goes on

DRAW DIFFERENT BODIESSSSSSSS

#ref

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 days

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A lot of leftists are half a step away from outright saying "People who can't work are bourgeois."

If you can conceive of "working class" and "owning class", might I note that anyone who is not "owning class" and is unable to find/perform work is dependent on whoever/whatever they can find to support them because of the fact that we live within capitalism, making them infinitely more vulnerable to abuse, including from those who are "working class."

This includes and is not limited to:

Disabled people

Children

The elderly

Single parents who don't have the income for childcare and need to stay home

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 days

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Tell me when you get bored. A story about doses. [x]

I posted this on twitter and had a variety of aggressive ableism thrown my way.

This is a story about changing what I can in spite of what I cannot for the comfort of my loved ones. The thing that others find to be hurtful about me is that I like to spend time in silent solitude. People who love me often feel hurt that I tend to solve my own problems instead of leaning on them.

When we spend too much time together, people find my neutrality to be concerning, and it becomes too much for people to be unable to read me.

To show the people I love that I enjoy their company in ways they can understand, I pool my energy together to be high-energy, peppy, and social. Since this is not my natural state of being, it takes effort, which can only be expended in small doses. I amplify the things people like in me while filtering out everything they dislike about me when I am in their company.

I change my behaviors for those I love, but at the end of the day, I cannot change my neutral state of being, which is the thing that they want most out of me.

This is a story about me accommodating people in the best way I know how, not the other way around. I would truly appreciate it if people don't misconstrue this anecdote as me asking for dismissal of hurtful behavior when in reality, people find hurt in the fact that I simply exist, and I must change for them.

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xxlovelynovaxx · 2 days

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It makes me happy when they listen

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