Tumgik
#because it would just be too raw and the words would spill out of my mouth before i can stop them
whumpsoda · 1 day
Text
We Search For Stolen Personhood - Bad Morning
Masterlist
cw: pet whump, lady whumpee, vomit, box boy universe/bbu adjacent, Institutionalized slavery, conditioned whumpees
——————
“Morning.”
Isaac stepped out and into the living room, curls a clutter lazily tied into a wild bun on the top of her scalp. She yawned, mouth agape and straining her jaw as she waved to the woman sprawled over the edge of the couch.
Josephine gave the slightest of a half-wave back, head resting on the cushion that was her crossed arms. “Good morning.” The, my lady sat, a weight lingering on her tongue like it could spill over any second, but Josephine didn't let it. That title was reserved for her owner, and Isaac was not that.
Even at only nine in the morning, sunlight seeping in through the opened windows, birds singing with their insistent chirps, it was obvious that day would not be a good day. 
For one, Joey had her radio out, humming over the bumble of Otis around the kitchen and the salty sizzle of their bacon, crackling with each switch of the station. She was searching for something, something she would never admit to searching for, and Isaac knew it too, but she didn’t press. She never did. 
And even though it was already nine in the morning, Florence was still tucked in bed, head stuffed under a pillow instead of washing dishes or starting a fresh load of laundry like usual. 
The memories are just… too much today, he had told her, and she had simply left him in their room to rot inside of his bleeding mind.
Click. 
Another shift of the station, a new song frolicking to her ears, tinted with the fuzz of the speaker. Joey allowed her eyes to flutter to a close, funneling her thoughts to swirl out from her brain, saving herself for the music.
She fixated on the voice, a bellowing sound that took over the world around it, wavering with greatness and the raw rumble of sound. Joey couldn’t help the frown that tugged at her lips. 
Click.
She couldn’t hear right, because the two in the kitchen began speaking, and even if they had more of a right to do so than she did to be frustrated by it, she still was. Where are Ms. Edith and Mr. Oscar, Otis asked, and they’re out getting groceries, they’ll be back in a sec, Isaac replied. Their talk turned to a buzzing murmur in the back of her mind as she tried to cut them out.
Josephine was listening.
And again, was met with disappointment.
Click.
A sigh, drooling with displeasure and frustration, dripped from her lips as she finally switched off the radio, pushing it further a few inches. She didn’t want to listen anymore. Deep down she knew it was wrong, only making her feel worse, but sometimes she couldn’t bring herself to care.
Instead she refocused her mind on the conversation circling behind her, Isaac and Otis chatting away with one another.
“How are… the two new ones?” Otis inquired, sliding a heaping pile of food off of the burning hot pan and onto a plate. He was a much better domestic than he was companion, she thought, but she would never say. 
“They were pretty much okay last night. Quiet, but, y’know. I put ‘em to bed right away, they looked so exhausted, and, I mean, I was too, so.” Isaac scrolled on her phone as she spoke, low and flat as drowsiness still coated her words. “I went in there around… I think… five? This morning, I was way too nervous to sleep, and they were conked out.”
“Mm.” Otis answered, flicking off the bright blue and orange flame of the stove. “Do you think we will get to meet them today?”
“I spoke to them, um, last night.” Joey blurted, unable to keep the information to herself, the previous night’s encounter having been whirling through her mind for hours, plastered to the walls of her mind. She had always had that problem, hadn’t she?
Can never keep any little secret from me, can you, pet? How cute.
Isaac, eyes wide, turned up from her screen, mouth dropping. “You- you did?”
“Yes. Only really the guard one, I think. The other didn’t speak much, I think… I think he wanted to, more, but he listened.”
“What happened?” She pushed, a beaming smile only growing along with her excitement.
Joey flopped her head over the back of the couch to look at her, although upside down. “They’re scared. Which, weren’t we all?” She clearly remembered her first night, a horrifying one filled with screaming and pain that she didn’t enjoy recalling.
“Right.”
“If I had to, um, to guess, I’d say they might just hole up in there for as long as they can...” Joey trailed off, taking notice of the far off look in Isaac’s eye. She wasn’t paying attention any longer, which would have been rude if not for what she had become so captivated by.
“Hi, there.” Isaac greeted, voice flicking to calm and honeyed, switching the busy room to utter silence. Gazes turned the direction of hers just to find what was on the receiving end of her kindness.
Him.
Halfway concealed by the doorway he stood, leaning to one side as he peeked out timidly from behind the wall. His overgrown bangs hid a good half of his face, but his wary expression was clear.
“H- uh, hello.” He squeaked, meek and shaky as he shielded himself with his shoulders, taking several careful, limping steps to the side, out from behind the blockade of the doorway. “Sorry.” She didn’t know what he was apologizing for, and she could only guess that neither did he.
“No need to be, man, you’re okay.” He shrunk back as Isaac carefully and gradually neared, not too close, sliding a hand over Joey’s shoulder. 
With a wondrous awe and light in his expression he gazed to the outside of his room, digesting each and every little thing with an innocent magnificence. “N- need, mm,” he started, shrinking away.
“It’s okay, you can tell me.” Isaac reassured.
He bit his lip, biting the inside of his cheeks and darting around the space with his gaze. “Is, is, um, are you safe? Really, really, uh, really safe?” Arms crossed, he clutched himself with an iron grip.
“Yeah, man. Absolutely safe. Swear on it.”
“Can, can you help? Please. I’m sorry.” He stumbled, nervously and repeatedly readjusting the shining metal collar fixed around his neck.
“Yeah, sure, what do you need?”
He gestured behind him, to the inside of his room. “He, um, he feels bad, very bad. He’s hot when, when I touch him.”
Isaac carefully inched forward, to his anxiousness. “Okay, okay, can you take me to him? Can I come in?”
“Yes, s- sir.” He stepped to the side, hiding behind the door as Isaac neared.
Joey trailed behind as Isaac accepted the invitation inside, catching a glimpse inside over the other woman’s shoulder. Desperate snivels and gasps could be heard louder as they closed in.
“Puh- Prince-,” the guard sputtered, keeled over on his knees, hazily clawing for the other half of his pair. Juice dribbled down his chin, collecting at the pooling pile of vomit on the rug. He lurched over again, gagging.
Just as she had thought.
A very bad morning.
——————
Masterlist
Taglist - @softvampirewhump @ivymyers @taterswhump @octopus-reactivated @tippytappytyping
@distracted-obsessions
If anyone wants to be removed or added to the taglist, please let me know! :)
28 notes · View notes
earthtooz · 1 year
Text
i don’t think i can ever genuinely express how meaningful ‘everything everywhere all at once’ sweeping the oscars meant to the asian community. but since i don’t want to be too emotional on main bc this entire day has kept me on the edge of my seat like no other, i just want to say one thing that might make the movie a little sweeter:
the english subtitles of the iconic taxes and laundry line that waymond delivers say ‘in another life, i would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you’
BUT, in mandarin, what the raw line is: ‘in another life, i still would have chosen to be with you doing laundry and taxes’.
and i think that piece of dialogue truly is so special because waymond would still CHOOSE this supposed ‘miserable’ life of running a laundromat so long as he was still with evelyn and UGH I’M- IF ONLY THIS WAS TRANSLATED PROPERLY BC IT HURTS ME THIS LINE HURRRRRTS ME 😭😭
171 notes · View notes
simpjaes · 1 month
Text
desecration. (s.j)
Tumblr media
the one where no gods exist when you’re alone with jake sim.
minors dni !! | if you read it, reblog it. 
WORDCOUNT ― 6.4k
PAIRING ― jake sim x afab reader
GENRE ― top/dom jake sim, characters are in their twenties, sub/bratty reader, religious kink/fetish
WARNINGS― mild dub con, desecration of holy a relic, inaccurate descriptions of whatever religion this is– im not doing research for a 5k fic that’s mostly smut, sorry. 
NOTE― if you’ve read this before, it’s because I wrote it for mark lee over on my other blog [ncteez]. we wanted to make it jake, and by we i mean me. i wanted to read this as jake. sorry to religious ppl, don’t read this if you don’t wanna be railed by a hot guy wielding a cross. 
smut tags under cut:: 
smut tags― DUB CON.  use of the words: whore, slut, for the record, the cross is not raw wood and has a smooth finish,  reader is first attempting to seduce the priest through confession lmao, she’s also just a massive whore just like me :), jake is the priest’s son, jerking off, penetration using a wooden cross, unprotected sex, spitting, choking on and/or sucking off a cross, degradation, and name-calling, he’s a godfearing man but also he likes sexual perversions, humiliation, explicitly getting fucked in a church, kind of fingering? 
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
Jake wonders why you’re always making confessions, time and time again, once a week, every single week….eagerly. Like you’re excited for your sin or something. 
Huh.
Then again, once a week his father is expected to listen to confessions from the other churchgoers, even Jake himself is expected to confess. Often he will make up sins that he has committed just to seem as though he has been learning from some sort of mistake. Never would Jake actually tell his father through a confession booth what he has done or is willing to do. He’s an adult, he can confess whatever he wants. 
You, on the other hand, you’re working his father to the bone in terms of forgiveness. 
Jake’s interest piques at the very idea of a young woman, around his age, wanting to confess so much. Did you  hurt someone? Does you hurt yourself? Did you kill someone? Or maybe you’re just caught up in a situation that makes you commit atrocities? He can’t even imagine what one person could be doing to elicit such an eager need of forgiveness so consistently. 
Always the first in the box, always with those inappropriate outfits too. 
 Jake makes his way to the back of the church to complete his duties and, of course, he isn’t surprised to see you enter the confession booth. After all, it is the start of a new week. 
Hushed whispers were echoing through the large space and only now does he realize that you almost always confess when the church is nearly empty. You must not be unaware of his presence at all, unaware that he is the son of the priest that you spill your sins to, and unaware that he can absolutely hear you when he walks closer.
He isn’t entirely sure why he is listening. The walls of this church echo any and every sound, and to be fair, the only reason his interest is piqued is because his father was silent from the moment you had entered the booth. All he heard was you. You didn’t seem to start the confession off in a proper manner either, so yeah, maybe it caught him off guard too.
His ears make attempts to adjust to the words coming from the booth, but your voice is coming out in a tone that he has never used himself when seeking salvation. Minutes pass and he still hasn’t heard his father speak a word back to you, not to encourage you, not to stop you. It’s just you, addressing dreams, visions, wants, and needs. 
Certainly not confession. In fact, you’re actively sinning, attempting to seduce. 
“I woke up shaking, Father. What should I do?” 
Jake notes how quiet his father is still, despite you asking him what to do about the dream. His face sours when you continue to speak, this time in a slightly louder tone. 
“I just can’t help myself sometimes, I–”
It’s not that it’s intentional, really, it isn’t. If anything at all, Jake is incredibly disgusted by your attempts to dirty talk during a confession. Disgusted that you’d do such a thing, and…maybe intrigued by what you may have said that he wasn’t quite able to catch before. He quietly moves to the other side of the booth, the side where you seem to be spouting off all sorts of things, and he raises his head to listen a bit more. 
“You were big, you know? I can’t get thoughts of you out of my head. Have you ever touched a woman, Father?”
Jake leans in further, his body reacting more than his disgust. Unfortunately, his length growing in his pants ceases the moment his father cuts you off. 
“Enough.” His father finally stops you from abusing the booth, from abusing him.
Not another word is spoken and Jake does his best to back away quickly and quietly as you exit the booth. Of course, he’s acting as though he is sweeping a corner when he turns to look at you. Eye contact is made and he can feel an intense rush of heat spread across his cheeks.
Ah, so you’re a whore.
His father stays inside of the booth for a long, drawn out, three or so minutes before exiting and all Jake can think about is if you walked out of the church soaked and warm between your legs. It’s not even that Jake is into sinning. He isn’t. His entire life was built around this church, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a man. He has needs just like you do, apparently.
Never would he get what he needs from a woman as dirty as yourself, though, it doesn’t stop him from thinking about it and how your voice sounds when you were actively trying to fuck his dad.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
“You’re disgusting.” Jake narrows his eyes at you when you pass by, spitting the words at you with a grimace. 
“Excuse me?” You ask, stopping in your tracks and looking back at him just as harshly. You didn’t provoke him to speak to you at all, let alone fucking insult you? 
“You think I can’t hear the way you speak to my dad during your little “confessions”?” He takes a step forward as he whispers at you, air quoting the word confession with a roll of his eyes.. “You really think he’s just going to take you up on the offer?” 
Narrowing your own eyes, you step closer to Jake to stop anyone else from hearing his little tantrum. 
“Wanna tell me why he always listens to my “confessions” then?” You question back, mimicking the air quotes and smirking as you walk away from him, not even letting him answer.
Jake watches as you leave, upset that he didn’t get a rise out of you at all and instead was offered a genuine question that sits in his mind. Why does his father allow you to make a confession after confession if all it is, is an attempt to seduce him? You’re even ashamed of it, it seems, and it pisses him off to no end. 
Rushing after you, he is quick to grab at your dress and pull you back.
“Might as well just show up naked with the way you act around here,” He starts with a bite in his tone, dragging you off, down the hall and into a side room that usually remains empty. 
He intends to put a stop to this because he’s heard several more of your confessions by his own will and learns that, apparently, your only sin is being a fucking slut. 
“You have no place here.” He adds as he closes the door behind the two of you. Unintentionally locking you into a space that he’s directly saying you don’t belong in.
“Acting like you don’t think about fucking. Hah. We both know I’m not the only one,” You laugh, walking across the room with a shrug. It’s not the first time you’ve been reprimanded in a church, and it probably won’t be the last. “Besides, your dad probably thinks about me late at night after tucking your grown ass into bed like a child.” 
Jake narrows his eyes even more at you.
“Bet that pisses you off.”
“You’re ridiculous to think he would even want someone like you.” Jake scoffs harshly at you, gut bubbling with annoyance. “To think about sex this often too? I can’t imagine anyone would want to touch such a slut.”
You watch him walk towards you, with his perfectly tucked shirt and his darkened and angry eyes. Being alone with him doesn’t help his argument though because, in all fairness, he’s just as hot, if not hotter than his father. 
“What about you then?” You ask, leaning against one of the shelves in the room, running your hand up your legs, and hiking your dress up a couple of inches. 
“Your dad with his lingering eyes won’t admit to having ever touched a woman. Yet here you are.” You call out the priest’s lie with a snide chuckle before continuing. Fingers massaging your own fleshy thighs, watching the way Jake struggles with his own lingering eyes. “What about you? You ever fuck anyone?”
Jake grimaces, wrinkling his nose as he watches you. 
“What the fuck are you doing?” He questions, stomping over to you and pushing your dress back down below your knees.
“Oh!” You laugh, ticking your tongue at him and tilting your head. “You said a bad word. Aren’t you going to ask for forgiveness?”
He stares at you for a few seconds, being face to face with a woman that seems so desperate for any touch has his heart racing. He’s trying to call you out, not turn you on.
“Can’t you act decent? I barely know you and you’re flaunting yourself at me.” Jake bellows, stumbling back from you and examining the way your body is relaxed.
 You really seem to be enjoying this. 
“You’re the one who pulled me in here. Was it really to argue with me, or were you trying to get to me before Father does?”
Thinking for a moment, Jake realizes he’s the reason this is happening. He could have just let you leave like everyone else, after all, you were attempting to go home. Here he is though, and there you are. 
“He would never.” Jake laughs, mocking your attempts to pretend his father would be interested in you. 
“And again, what about you?” You shoot back instantaneously, watching the way his words get caught in his throat. 
He’s a weak man, truly, because the very thought of what’s under your dress, the very idea that you’re so willing, fogs his brain to the point of almost malfunctioning. It would be so fucking easy if he wanted to. 
No one would even know. 
Before you even know it, you can feel the air in the room change as he storms closer to you and rips your dress upwards to your waist. Instantly, he’s shoving his hand straight between your legs. 
A small yelp leaves your throat followed by a laugh. Perfect. 
“I knew it.” You giggle,  bumping your head a bit against the shelf at the force of his movement. You can feel the way his palm cups your core and presses in harshly through his silent breaths. “I fucking knew you were dirty.”
“Stop,” Jake demands, bringing his other hand to cover your mouth. “Stop talking.” He continues, already pulling his hand from your core and second-guessing himself. 
“If you want it so bad, I’m going to need you to shut the fuck up.” 
You nod with a smile against his palm, breathing in when he pulls it back and trusts your ability to stay quiet. He’s staring directly into your eyes as if he’s threatening you. As if he will stop if you make a single peep. A promise that he will probably get you banned from the church if anyone were to find out what’s happening in this room right now.  At his darkened gaze, you poke your tongue out, licking his palm and watching him pull back in aroused shock at how unashamed you are regarding your arousal. But, you do stay true to your work and remain quiet once his eyes trail down. 
He looks at you as if you’re some sort of monstrous entity, and for him at this moment, you probably are. But even with that, you see what’s growing in his pants before he lowers himself onto the floor. Positioning his face right in front of your clothed pussy. 
What a dirty, dirty boy.
Jake can see the wet stain of your panties and all he can do is roll his eyes. 
“You’re insane.” He laughs, eyes darting up to your face, looking at you like he wants to shame you. “Getting so messy in such a place, all for men who don’t fucking want you?” 
You nod, wiggling your hips at him in an attempt to entice his lips to attach there. But he doesn’t. He just stands right back up to his feet and takes a step backwards. 
“I bet if I left you here, you’d chase after me.” He mocks. “I bet you think I’m gonna stick it in you, don’t you?”
Proudly, you smile with a nod. Of course he's going to stick it in. You can see how hard he’s gotten. Sin or not, you know when a man wants to fuck you. Jake won’t be able to resist sooner or later, son of the priest or not. 
“Wow,” He laughs quietly, shaking his head at you as he reaches behind a podium and pulls out a large, lacquered wooden cross. “You really are stupid.”
Great, you think as your face falls. He’s definitely about to start preaching to you with that stupid fucking cross. Maybe he will even attempt to perform an exorcism to expel the horny demons out of you.
“Oh, please.” You roll your eyes, standing yourself up straight from against the shelf and patting your dress back down into position. “Don’t start this shit.” You’re already preparing to walk out without looking twice at him, but he laughs right back at you.
“You think you know everything.” He chuckles, walking towards the door and locking it. He stands in front of it now, crossing his arms and staring at you. 
“Don’t I?” You ask, eyeing the way he presents himself to you right now. 
“Did I not just imply that I wouldn’t use my cock on you?” He questions, twitching in his pants at the way you stand before him, much smaller in energy now. 
He can tell you’re still trying to act brave, and it delights him to see the realization spread across that pretty, silent mouth. 
Oh. Oh. 
“You’re going to–?” You swallow hard, realizing that of all the sins you could commit, the implication of being penetrated with a cross, solely so this man doesn’t have to fuck a whore isn’t one you ever thought of. 
This room doesn’t even feel like part of a church now as he holds the cross with more reason than praying. 
“Yeah,” He assures you. “I am.” Stepping forward toward you and looming down at your face. “Now get on the desk.” 
You don’t know why, but your body acts on instinct for him. Immediately walking to the desk and propping yourself onto it. 
“Take off your clothes.” He demands again, watching you intently as he stays in place, rubbing the long end of the cross much like he’d like to do for himself right now. 
God, watching such a stubborn woman do everything he says is…well, it’s new for him and it ignites a new type of arousal within him. 
And you watch him back as you begin to slip your dress from your shoulders, lifting your ass so that you can push it down and onto the floor. 
“Oh, now you wanna act shy?” He mocks, walking towards you as you attempt to tug at your panties. “And keep those on. No one wants to see that.”
Goddamn, you don’t even have the decency to wear a bra to service? Lucky for him though, your breasts are enough to drive him past the point of return. There’s no thought, fear, or prayer in his head right now as you reveal yourself to him. Going as far as trying to flash your pussy? Oh, he could laugh. 
You stay quiet, doing as you’re told and watching the way he examines you. He must feel so in control right now and you’re happy to let him, but you can see him falling apart behind his eyes. 
His cock is incredibly obvious beneath his nice dress pants, but you wouldn’t dare reach out to touch him, not yet at least. You’ll let him have his fun, despite the slight nervousness within you regarding that cross.
“Open your mouth.” He says, dragging the cross against your nipples and onto your chin. “Suck it.”
You almost shake your head at him. Such a hard wood sliding down your throat would surely hurt. It’ll bruise, it’ll fucking suffocate you.
Jake doesn’t seem to care about any of that though, because all he does in response to your widened and fear-stricken eyes is press the wood against your lips with a face of concentration. 
You purse your lips, muffling a displeased grunt at his acts.
“You scared?” He smiles first, pulling the cross away and now tracing his fingers along your lips before prying them inside and hooking your mouth open. “Come on, don’t act like you don’t know how to suck.”
You relent this time, feeling the cold and smooth tip of the cross enter past your lips when he resumes his previous assault. It’s not that you are against doing it, you just…haven’t done it before.
 You’re not exactly sure of how to respect a holy relic such as this one when you’re expected to choke on it. 
“That’s it.” Jake coos, pressing the cross further into your mouth. “Open up real wide.” 
You close your eyes at his voice, licking the smoothed object with an intensity you didn’t know you had. After all, it’s been so long since you’ve been intimate with a person, hence the constant wet dreams about your priest. This is somehow, incredibly hot to you. To have his son fucking your mouth, regardless of what object he’s using to do it. 
Still, it does hurt. The intricate edges of the cross bruises each time it hits the clenching walls of your throat and mouth, but Jake seems to like the sound of you choking and sobbing around it. After all, he just continues to press the cross further and further in. Probably relishing in the way you try to swallow around it and relax your throat. 
His eyes are so focused, seeing how much of it you can take and only imagining how good it would feel if it were his cock choking you right now. Despite your sputtering and crying eyes, you’re taking it so well. 
Yeah, you’ve definitely done this before. Probably swallowed up some guy’s cum and begged for more despite still having a cock wedged in your throat. How lucky for them to have someone so desperate to be gagged. 
“You’re filthy for doing this, you know that?” He laughs at your pain and how you don’t try to pull at his pushing hand, tipping the cross just a bit so that its hardened wood hits your throat in a way that hurts a bit too much.
You cough around it, only now pushing his hand back in protest. The tears are pouring from your eyes when the cross slides out of your mouth, and all you can do is blink up at him as you try to regain your breath. 
Half expecting him to immediately hold your head in place just to shove the cross back in, Jake pulls back instead, tilting his head down to look at your panties. 
Your legs instinctively cross to hide your arousal, but he prys your legs open regardless, forcing you to act as the whore you so wanted to be. For his father, for him, for anyone who would be willing, honestly. 
You’ve gotten wetter. 
“You’re so gross, I can’t believe you get off to this–” He laughs, feeling his cock begin to fucking ache. “You can take more, then.” 
No, no. You don’t want to keep sucking it, but your mouth opens anyway. Too turned on by the idea of seeing Jake’s reaction to watching you be so dirty, so blasphemous. 
The way he moans when you open your mouth willingly this time is…well, he looks fucking good. He sounds even better. 
You take it into your mouth without so much as a second thought this time, allowing him to slide the cross back and forth against your tongue and into your throat. You willingly swallow around the harsh edges, tears falling all the while, of course.  
You’re gagging so softly around it, he’s almost jealous over how you wanted his dad before you wanted him. Surely no one would do this for you, right? His father would never be with such a horny, needy, and dirty woman. 
Jake though….shamefully, is very into it. 
Into you, rather.
When he pulls it out this time, your saliva coats the cross in a way that nearly breaks his brain. Intensely, he stares at your lips, slack and waiting for him to continue his abuse. God, he’s so jealous. To think you would do this with someone else? With anyone? Anything? 
It turns him on beyond belief, but feeling jealous of the fucking cross isn’t exactly something Jake wants to admit. His father? Sure, whatever. But a relic he’s prayed to his whole life? Growing resentful of it just because you take it down your pretty and bruised throat? 
No. 
Jake shifts now, unable to satiate the arousal within him without grabbing your hand and forcing you to grope his hidden cock. So hard, so fucking hard, he nearly lets out his own sob at the euphoric touch when he actually does it. 
You’re a bit shocked that he’s letting you touch him, but you take the opportunity and run with it. You press your palm against him without any amount of shame, and all you can do is watch as he hangs his head, the saliva coated cross still gripped in his other hand. 
“Bet you wanted to fuck my mouth.” You croak out, your voice sounding just as raw at your throat. “Bet you wanted me to take all of it and beg for your cum.” 
His head shoots up in response to that as he grabs your face harshly, bucking against your hand at the same time. “Stop talking.” He seethes, releasing your face and inserting his fingers into your mouth instead. “Stick your tongue out.”
You do as he says, feeling his heavy cock twitching against your palm with each press. 
Jake seems like an expert at this, you aren’t sure, but when he presses your tongue down with his fingers to open your throat up, he spits into your mouth so easily that you have no choice but to swallow it.
Well, okay. He could probably get away with doing that a few more times if he wanted to.
You moan when you swallow, lending him a dopey smile that shocks him. You weren’t supposed to like that in his eyes, but when you grab his cock in response rather than just palm at it, he can’t help but moan back at you. 
His fingers continue to hold your tongue down as you jerk him off over his pants, and his hips stutter all the while until he loses all composure. Within a second, he stalks even closer, slamming both hands against the desk on either side of you and leaning forward to pin you there.
And then he grinds forward against your weak hand, pinned between him and the edge of the desk. 
Yet still, he’s gripping that fucking cross as he pins you here.
“You want me to fuck you so bad, I can see it.” He croaks, not even allowing you to offer him a nod before he’s got his lips attached to yours and he’s licking into your mouth. It feels impossibly better than that cross pressing against the back of your throat but you swallow his kiss just as easily. 
His hips continue to grind as he licks into your mouth like a man who doesn’t know how to kiss at all. So rough and messy with it, groaning more and more before he’s nearly a panting mess before you. He pulls back from the kiss only for a moment to stare at you, eye contact more fierce than it was before. 
“I think you’re the one who wants to fuck me.” You manage to slip out before he can silence you again, and his eyes narrow instantly. 
More than anything, that’s what he wants to do to you. He wants to shut you up in as many ways possible right now, and he definitely wants fucking you to be one of those ways. But he can’t, and he won't. 
“Hah–you’d love that.” He laughs, reaching his empty hand between the two of you to press his pants down enough to let his cock spring free. 
You can’t even get a good look at it, because he’s instantly grabbing himself and fucking his fist before looking back up at you. 
“Go on, look.” He says, leaning a bit so that you can watch him jerk off in full view now. “Bet you’d beg for it if I told you to.”
“Please?” You instantly let out, eyes staring at the angry head of his cock leaking and pulsing.
“I didn’t say to actually beg–” He groans, halting his hand and instead, thrusting his hips into the tightly formed hole he’s created. “I’m not going to fuck you.” He laughs again, now pulling the cross back and into your view with a wicked smirk. 
Of course. The cross. Well, at least you’re going to be fucked with something right?
 You eye the piece of wood and then go back to watching him. You’re not sure what it is about this situation but it feels like your body is on fire. Maybe it’s because hell is right beneath you, just a floorboard away from what the two of you have gotten yourselves into behind this locked door.
“Oh?” He halts his hips and licks his lips. “You actually want me to fuck you with this?”
You nod frantically, spreading your legs in front of him and showing off how large the spot on your panties has grown since he last inspected it. You watch as his eyes practically burn a hole through your pussy.
Only then does he release his own cock and look back into your eyes. More seriously this time when reality and guilt clicks in his head. 
“You are aware of what we are about to do, right?” His confidence falters blatantly as he glances at the cross. “Like, if you ever tell my dad about this, I will be disowned.” 
“You think I’d snitch on you?” You roll your eyes, body nearly shaking to get fucked. God, why does he have to stop now?
“Well, since you’re so inclined to confess every fucking day–”
“Jake, you literally just fucked my throat with it.” You deadpan, hooking your legs around him to pull him close enough to feel his cock hit your wet panties. “You’re the dirtiest one here, I’m not going to give that up just to see you get disowned.” 
He laughs at you for that. Because yeah, maybe he is. Maybe he’s the one who shouldn’t be in church, and maybe he’s the one who should have been confessing this whole time. Never in his life has he ever done this, or so much as imagined doing it, it’s so perverse. So, wrong. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what’s attractive about it. 
For some reason, his cock jumps when you say you’re not giving him up because he’s dirty. 
“And–” You soften your voice, trying to lure him. “You don’t have to use the cross, you know.” 
“No.” He barks out, pulling his hips back and pressing the cross against you instead. “Now, keep your legs open.” 
He gets right back into it without a second thought. He doesn’t care what he’s doing or what the repercussions of doing this will be. It’s not like he wasn’t going to hell before any of this, not based on the fantasies he’s had anyway.
Jake hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them down your legs harshly, to the point that they’re stretching so far that it feels like they could cut through your skin. He backs away for a moment upon seeing you grimace at that, allowing you to slip them down your legs before positioning himself back between them.
“I’m dirty?” He says, looking at your pussy and the way it clenches around absolutely nothing. He sees the slick seeping out of you already, and it’s not only pathetic but so fucking desperate of you. “Fucking look at that.”
You smile at it, knowing that he’s degrading you but absolutely loving the view if his focused eyes are anything to go by.
Before the cross, he experimentally traces his fingers along your folds until he gets to your hole, and without hesitation, he slips one of them in. The grip of your walls alone could probably send him over the edge if he were to make a last-minute change and shove his cock into you, but he holds back. Instead, he traces the cross against you in the same way he did with his fingers, slowly inserting it alongside his digit. 
Pulling back, Jake watches your face as the cross opens you up, probably dragging against your walls uncomfortably as a reminder of the ultimate sin you’re committing with him right now. 
When your face doesn’t contort into that of pain, he pulls his finger out of you and places his hand back on his cock. Still staring at your face, he fucks the cross in and out of you. Relishing in the sound of how wet you are for this, and for him to give it to you.
 He does this until, finally, you moan.
Upon that little whimper of a moan, Jake is sent into a different headspace. One that quickens his pace with the object inside of you, one that tightens the grip on himself. 
Now, oh now, he’s playing for fun. He presses it in and then pulls it all the way out just to see your pussy beg for more. Holding back a moan over how fucking hot it is to see, he opts to coo out at you.
“Bet it would feel so good.” He breathes, trying to ignore the shiver that shoots through his body at the way you yearn for it. “Could shove my cock right in, you’d just take it, wouldn’t you?” 
Before you can answer, he’s thrusting the relic right back into you. In, out, in, out. Deeper, harder, fucking faster. And he offers the same for himself, tightening his fist, nearly abusing his own cock at the sight of your swollen hole swallow up the wood. Really, he makes a point to fuck himself just to imagine it’s you that’s squeezing him.  
If he thinks hard enough, it really is almost like he’s the one fucking you. 
He keeps this up for a few minutes, up until your legs are shaking around him and you begin to reach out with your hands. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s incredibly fucking horny right now, he’d probably be rushing for the altar to save you from whatever demon is possessing you.
 But, he knows that this is no demon, this is all his own doing. He’s loving it. Every single bit of this situation is being burned into his memory, and when your legs shake, it only urges him to fuck the object into you harder.
You whimper out strings of nonsense, almost begging for a release from this grasp he is holding over you both physically and mentally, but he doesn’t relent. Your pathetic cunt is being pounded by an object that should have you crying in fear, but instead, you’re so close to release you can only beg for more, more, fucking more. 
And god, he keeps giving it to you.
In an attempt to open your eyes, you feel dizzy with lust. Your hips buck up against the object with intent, and you can’t stop watching him. 
“Goddamn.” Jake stutters a sin, watching you fuck yourself against the holy relic. Thankful to rest his arm and be able to just…watch.
And oh, he’s watching and intensely imagining that it’s you on him. He can’t stop thinking about how fucking warm you must be, how tight, how sinfully delicious your pussy must be for you to be acting like this. And that thought is what forces him to lose it.
You were so focused, on the verge of your orgasm when you feel him practically tear the cross out of you, dropping it to the floor before – oh fuck.
You feel him. Something bigger, something thicker ramming into you. He’s prying you open more than he did previously, already pumping in and out at a frantic speed. Instantly, you cling onto him with a bruising grip, listening to his shameless moans as he realizes the lack of control he has over his own body or thoughts. 
Jake practically falls over you in euphoria as you cling, forcing you to fall back against the desk as he relentlessly plunges his hips. His breath is heavy against your neck as he loses himself, and all you can do is thank the same god you just disrespected for this cock that’s abusing your hole in all of the right ways.
“I can’t–” He groans out against your ear, his hips not stopping their relentless assault. “You’re so fucking dirty.” He insults, pushing you up the desk with each thrust. “So good.”
You can barely make a sound from the force behind his hips, only small yelps leaving your throat each time he slams in. And fuck, you want nothing more than to rub your clit right now. You could cum all over him, you could really make him feel good. 
And as if your prayers are answered, Jake apparently knows exactly how to pleasure a woman. Hm, curious. He knows how to do it fucking well too, as you feel his fingers rub against the swollen nub in the exact same way you would right now. Painful, intense.
The fact that he wants you to cum is delicious.
Your orgasm hits you almost instantly, pussy sucking in him each time he goes to thrust, and the sounds coming from your throat could be considered demonic by some, but he swallows them up with ease when he notes that you’re cumming all over him. 
Jake licks into your mouth, soothing you with dirty words when he pulls back to breathe. 
“You should see yourself–” He pants out, sticking his tongue out to lick against your lip. “Getting me all messy too?” He says again through a moan. “You’re beautiful.” He adds like a period at the end of a sentence. 
That alone makes you feel…different. In fact, it prolongs your orgasm far past sensitivity when he continues to thrust into you. You can’t tell if he said that because he’s close, or if it’s because he meant it. 
Quite frankly, you could give less of a fuck if he meant it. 
Jake stutters his hips when you lift your head just slightly, gripping his hair and skewing his head to the side so that you can whisper into his ear. 
“Want me to beg for your cum?” You whisper with a shaking voice. “You’d love that too, wouldn’t you? I know I would.”
His eyes squeeze shut as he aggressively turns his head and, once again, pries your mouth open with his tongue. A bruising kiss follows as he fucks his last few thrusts into you, doing just as you implied he should.
He pumps his cum into you relentlessly, thankful that it’s not all over his pants and entirely milked into that sinful cunt of yours. Thankful that you also got off around him instead of that forgotten cross on the floor. 
He wants nothing more than to remind you time and time again who got to you first. It was him, not his father. 
You smile at him when he pulls back out of breath, examining his pants before stuffing his sensitive cock back into them and reaching down for the cross.
“If you ever fucking tell my dad about this–” He seethes out of breath, trying to pretend that he can regain composure so soon after fucking you the way he just did. Still, he narrows his eyes at you much as he had done before. 
“Go on.” You say, voice shaking as you try to grasp back onto reality from whatever world his cock had sent you into. 
Jake is at a loss for words, because, what could he possibly do about it if you were to tell? He looks at you, still spread out against the desk, dress crumpled, his cum seeping out of you in a messy show of how much of an absolute whore he forced you to be.
“Just, don’t tell him.” He finally says, averting his eyes from you and looking at the cross in his hand. 
“Do you feel bad already?” You ask out, finally lifting to get off of the desk.
“Don’t you?” 
You shake your head, struggling to stand as the seething pain of having a wooden cross stuck into you shoots through your body. “Not really.” You try to laugh, but you wince instead.
“Yeah, I figured you’d probably be hurting after all of that.” He finally says in a somewhat apologetic tone, walking up to you with a soothing hand.
You’re a little shocked by his kindness. 
“Yeah, a little.” You laugh it off though because, at the moment, it felt good. You wouldn’t have wanted it any other way despite how blasphemous the act was.  
“Oh.” Jake seems sorrowful in his tone, but his gaze doesn't leave you. “I- um, I don’t know how to make it like, not hurt?” He scratches the back of his head.
In your attempt to put your dress back on, you do note that the pain inside of you isn’t unfamiliar. You’d been fucked hard before, but that was a long time ago. You missed this feeling, realizing that it was exactly what you think you needed. 
“It’ll pass.” You assure him, taking a deep breath and trying to stumble your way to the door. “I guess I’ll see you later, then?” 
Jake dips his head with a small nod, feeling guilty for what he’s done. Not because of the cross, not because of the sin, but because he’s unsure of how to pretend like he wouldn’t want to do it again.
1K notes · View notes
hoseoksluna · 5 months
Text
BOOKWORMS | knj
Tumblr media
pairing: boyfriend!namjoon x reader
genre: smut; fluff
word count: 4.4k
summary: namjoon thinks of you when he reads a smut scene in his book.
warnings: boyfriend namjoon!!!, kimi namijoon reading, mentions of sex (riding), oral sex (f. receiving), nipple play, the importance of consent, teasing, raw sex, breeding kink <3, big dick namu!!, dom/sub dynamics, spanking, joonie's chain dangling in ur face, tummy bulge, creampie, bruising, hickeys, aftercare:(
note: it took blood, sweat and tears (hehe) to write this and i'm so happy it's finally here!! i loved writing about namjoon. he's my whole soul and the entirety of my heart and i have to write abt him again soon. please take your time reading this and enjoy urself! let me know what you think in the comments mwah (or tell me anonymously in my inbox) and as i always say please like and if u want to - reblog, but i won't pressure u baby. love love you!!
side note: if you want to jump straight to the smut, it's right under the asterisks &lt;;3
Tumblr media
You revel, you truly do, in seeing your boyfriend in such a serene state of mind. 
Nose buried in a book, Namjoon pays no mind to the surroundings fleeting by him with each flutter of his eyelashes. It goes unnoticed by him, strangely so, how you tidy up the apartment you share. How you feed the two cats that chose you and him to be their human parents. How you fondle their soft ears. How you bend over the furniture to whisper ‘pspsps’ at them when they need a moment away from you just to see their round eyes look up at you stupidly. Namjoon usually observes these moments; this utmost natural behavior of yours. He draws strength from the homeliness of it all with each and every swell of his lungs. Needs it to survive. That is until he gets a hold of that one papery portal and sits comfortably on the couch, one ankle propped over the knee. Then, he ceases to exist in this world. 
You’re happy for him. Over time, you’ve come to find that you have a certain fondness for the way he remains stoic. Because you always know what kind of book he’s reading, a smile blossoms on its own over the line of your lips whenever your eye catches the sculpture-like look on his face. It’s like even if he let himself hold his breath, his consciousness would waver back to the earth and the wretched awareness that he’s here, among mortals and the unfair capitalist system aftermath, would stream in his bloodstream, poisoning his experience. It takes the leisure out of it and makes the bed for misery instead. He doesn’t like it. Hates it, in fact. It’s a necessity that he focuses, as he embarks on the journey, because he does it for you.
Namjoon confides in his feelings and his literature with you almost on a daily basis. On the same couch, with the same cats snoring faintly, their small bodies spilling over the perimeter of your tangled legs. Doesn’t matter if it’s his thigh or the curve of your hip. The animals always find a warm crook to doze in, eavesdropping in, with their curious little ears, on the conversations you’re having. Though you reckon they like the meat of his thigh the best. You do, too. Can’t really blame them. The same serenity that intimately knows the person of Namjoon perceives the person of you when he prompts you to rest your head on his lap while he brushes his book-kissed fingers through the silky waterfall of your hair. Thoroughly explains the intricacies of the plot he’s invested in to you. Describes the characters as if they’re real people he’s become acquainted with. They are real to you as you listen. As you ask additional questions and gaze up at his eyes just to catch that one body of a shooting star fiery hot in the glossiness of his eyes. As you wonder, openly, what will happen to them.
“I’ll tell you when they tell me.” He sunk the promise onto the smooth skin of your forehead with the pucker of his lips.
It’s how you discovered, in all seriousness, that the plaster of his stoicism breaks during these literary moments.
Various colors of emotion tug and twist his features, the bare kind. The unrestrained kind. You know it’s a relief for him when the dam bursts open, soaking you in the beauty of humanness one only finds in literature these days. You can’t help but fall in love with him all over again when his eyebrows furrow. When his orbs nearly burn a hole in the ceiling when he’s trying to think of the right word that will ultimately help him convey the unfolding of the storyline. When he gives up and weaves English into his sentences, relying on his hands to say what his overstimulated brain fails to do. 
He reads to pass knowledge to you. The serenity whispered it into the chambers of your heart, a puff of hot breath in winter’s cold. It soothingly rubbed his shoulders when Namjoon told you there used to be a time when he couldn’t stand the sight of his books lining up the walls of his apartment. Wanted to burn it down and watch as the evidence of his melancholy dies in front of him. Because that’s what most of his book collection consisted of back then. The innermost shadowy faces of his pain. Loneliness. Sadness. Despair from life, from it not being enough for him, from it not saving a spot there for him–not once throughout the course of his life. That’s why he reads different kinds of books now. Ones that do not reflect his survival before you.
The reader has to get wiser, ruffled by life in order to gain more, gain what they need from those once deeply loved pages. It’s what the serenity believes. It’s what you believe and hope for Namjoon. That one day, somehow by the healing of the love you give him, he will look back and pick a souvenir from that moonless country of pain. Put it up somewhere between the spines of his new cluttered collection. Look at it from time to time and sense that it’s telling him something. Something that will fill the stitched-up cracks in his heart with sunlight. Something that he will pass over to you. It’s your love language after all. Namjoon reads because you read. It’s his own personal healing thing. 
You two are just a pair of two bookworms. Unfit for the world outside. Fit for the land you two created. Whose soil you take care of together.
***
Dinner is almost ready by the time you feel his fingertips gripping your hips. You hum, acknowledging his presence. Glad for the homely heat that radiates off of his body and seeps into your bones as you stir the risotto you decided to make on the stove. Coldness had been embracing you all day while he read so you’re overjoyed that he ripped it away from you.
Namjoon places a kiss on your temple and you sigh in relief. You might be too dependent on him, but so is he. He wouldn’t be nuzzling his face in your hair, squeezing your waist, peppering kisses on your tender skin if he wasn’t. It’s the perfect balance. And it’s not that you’re not able to be away from each other. The principle of looking forward to one another is what makes it so sweet, so endurable for the pair of you. Of the coming back and coming into contact at the end of the day. It’s natural. Simple. Human.
“Missed me?” Namjoon husks into your ear. 
You smirk and turn off the stove, turning around to face him. “Terribly.”
His body is clad in a black T-shirt that fits his broad figure well and a pair of baggy sweats of the same color, having discarded the warm crewneck he was wearing earlier somewhere in the universe of his book. A long silver chain twinkles in the middle of his chest in the yellow light. You caress it with your fingers and leave your palm there, on the hardness of his pecs. 
“I finished the book,” he says and you blink up at him. You’re not surprised at all. “Couldn’t put it down.”
Sleepy wrinkles have left their mark on his face from the cozy position he laid in for too long on the couch. His short sunlit hair, grown healthily from his military service, is tousled in all directions and you smooth it down for him. How did God bless you with such a beautiful man is something you’ll wonder about for the rest of your life. 
“What happened to Theo in the end?” you ask, genuinely curious about whether one of the characters you’ve grown attached to is okay after all the shit the author put him through. 
Namjoon was reading a coming-of-age book about a boy named Theo. A panorama of his childhood and adolescent life, you’ve heard all about it. Namjoon cared a lot about this story, cared a lot about the protagonist’s emotions and reactions to the reappearing storms. What made him stick with it, despite the nearly triggering themes, is the fact that Theo never let go of his optimism no matter what. It was incredibly inspiring for Namjoon. Something new. Something that he never thought could be possible. You’re proud of him for daring to read a book so reminiscent of his past.
“You’re not gonna believe it,” Namjoon says, a blush creeping along his cheeks.
You raise one of your eyebrows in question. 
“Theo got laid,” Namjoon reveals, laughing softly. “I’m so happy for him.”
You gasp and burst into giggles. “What?”
“He got some!” 
Your laughter rises in volume. “He lost his virginity and that’s the end?”
“It was a big moment for him. A triumph of some kind. Like he shed his old skin and left that broken life behind. It was amazing.” Namjoon’s eyes glint with tiny shooting stars and you melt. He always finds poetic meanings in the varieties of the character arcs. You think you just fell in love with him all over again. 
“That’s really beautiful,” you admit. It reminds you of something. Of something quite personal. “My first time with you changed my life as well.”
Namjoon’s eyebrows curl in tenderness. Dragon eyes widen and round in fervent emotion. He squeezes his arms around you, enfolding you in a hug. Kisses you warmly. Strokes your hair down your back. Your own eyes pool with little tears with the intimate knowledge that you chose the right person to unfold your raw femininity with. No one, no man other than him could have created such a safe for that to happen.
“Tell you what,” Namjoon says a bit hoarsely. “I saw us in it.”
You hum, encouraging him to continue. Crave for more of his thoughts and confidential findings. Its fire spreading through your body, as each word of his registers in your brain, always makes you feel phenomenally alive. You’re not timid to avow that it’s your addiction. Shame doesn’t know you.
“Elena was on top and he was watching her. In awe of her,” he murmurs, caressing your cheek with the tip of his thumb. “Made me think of our last time. A life changing experience of mine as well.”
You welcome the fire and suspire with sudden desire, eyes lidding. Your heart begins to thump. Namjoon studies your reaction. 
“You remember well, don’t you?” He nudges his nose against yours. “I was in awe of you just the same.” 
It’s impossible not to remember. The memory consumes your mind every waking hour. Gets you needy in ways you haven’t felt before. Namjoon had you sat on his lap among the fluffiness of your innumerable pillows and plushies. Had you do all the work as he focused on the sleekness of your freshly moisturized calves, its coconut aroma interfused with the scent of sex and the euphony of your bounces, ragged breaths and broken moans making his head all fucked up. He was loud himself, more loud than you ever recalled him being. Reading your body at the mercy of the pleasure his hard length was giving you with his bottom lip sucked between his teeth. Not once did he take his eyes off of you, not once did he help you. Just gripped your calves. Your thighs. Your tits all in his face. Only when you came hard, out of your own delightful merit, did his eyes roll back. You left his hips glazed with the evidence of your well-deserved orgasm, a porcelain statue made glossy.
A little later, during your pillow talk, he told you he’d found the idea of you using him while getting yourself off extremely hot. Made him more hard than he’d been in a while. Begged you to be even more selfish next time, adding an indistinct, ‘well, of course, if you want’ to the end of his sentence because he’s Namjoon.
“I do,” you breathe. “Touched myself to it this morning while you were still asleep.”
Namjoon groans. “God.” He kisses the side of your neck. Gets close to your ear. “You wanna do it again, hm? Wanna fuck me?” 
You might burst. His closeness, his heat, his need to ask for your consent turns you unstable. You’re choked up on your words, mind too fuzzy to say something. Turned on. Fucked up.
“You wanna show me how you touched yourself?” Namjoon continues, but you shake your head against the side of his face. 
You had touched yourself in the shower. Couldn’t say no to the impulse. Sharing that part of you for his eyes to see isn’t something you’re quite ready for. To you, it’s still something that’s yours. Something private. A courage you have yet to pluck up. You’re afraid to give him this last part of your femininity.
“Not today,” you whisper, planting a kiss on his neck. Feel him shiver. “I’m sorry. Do you mind?”
Withdrawing from your neck, Namjoon looks you dead in the eye, brows twisted in stern seriousness. “Don’t ever apologize for something like that again. Hear me when I say that.”
You squeeze his shoulder, the corners of your mouth lowering in a pout. Thankfulness grips your heart and suddenly it’s hard to breathe. 
“You know this is why we do this right?” he asks you. “Why I ask you these questions? I need to always know what you’re comfortable with so I don’t make a mistake.”
You nod. “Yes, Namjoon, I know and I’m so thankful.”
“Good. I’ll never push you to do anything you don’t want. Don’t forget that, okay?”
“Okay, I won’t.” 
“That’s my girl. 
You grab him by the back of his neck and engulf him in a hug. Luckiest girl in the world? That you are. The fact that you’re his is still something you can’t wrap your head around.
“We can stop. We don’t even have to do anything tonight—”
“No, Namjoon.” You withdraw. “Look.” Wrapping your hand around his wrist, you slip his hand beneath the confines of your panties. 
His breath shakes when he reaches your soaked folds. He traces your hole with his middle finger and your hips follow his movement, the pleasure so faint but so good that you flutter your eyes closed.
“Fuck, baby.” 
“Yeah, I need you. Need more,” you breathe out. “Can’t leave me like this, can you?”
Namjoon hums. “No, I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of this pussy.” 
He kisses you. Massages his tongue against yours. You buck your hips into his hand and Namjoon hears your body language. Takes his fingers up and rubs your swollen clit from side to side, quickening his pace as he swallows your moans down his throat. Gets angry at your tight leggings hindering him in giving you more, so he gets on his knees and swiftly pulls them down along with your underwear. 
“Sit on the counter.”
You comply right away. Namjoon takes your feet in his hands and gently removes your slippers, removing your garments fully so they don’t pool around your ankles. He needs your legs spread and he needs them spread wide for what he’s about to do to you. 
Torso long enough to reach you, he remains on his knees. Runs his hands up the back of your thighs to guide you into the position he wants you in. “Lock your arms around the back of your knees. Don’t let go.”
You do as he says, biting your lips in nervousness. Intertwine your hands together. Prepare yourself to die. 
Namjoon studies your dewy pussy, index and middle finger mimicking the letter V as he slides them up and down your folds, squeezing just right to hear you mewling. Your knees being so close together makes her look a lot more pillowy and you hear Namjoon breathe hard, absolutely hypnotized by the beauty of your flesh. 
“Fuck, baby, you’re dripping down my hand.” He withdraws his fingers to show you how your slick trickles down the lines on his palm, changing the course of his life once and for all. 
Your clit throbs, breath matching his. “Please, Namjoon.”
He curses inaudibly. Brings his fingers back down to your folds, squeezes your lips and your clit together. Hisses at the sweet whimpery sounds spilling out of your mouth. Presses tighter so you whine needily for him. Takes you into his mouth when he accomplished what he wanted, tonguing your clit in slow agonizing circles that has you buckling your hips again. Puts his hands on your thighs to keep you down, flicking fast to absolutely abuse the fuck of you. Dragon eyes zeroing on yours, he gives you the hypnosis that your pussy did to him as he sucks on your bundle of nerves. You can’t even scream. Can’t breathe. The pleasure overwhelms you wholly and straps you down. There’s nothing you can do but take it. 
You come hard on his tongue. Namjoon laps it all up gladly. And when he’s finished, he stands up and slips those two digits that ruined you into your hole. Doesn’t move them. Lets you adjust instead.
“One more,” he mutters. “Please.”
You nod.
“Use your words or we’re stopping.”
You groan and close your eyes, your thighs visibly shaking in your iron grip from your orgasm. “Yes, Namjoon, one more. I’ll come for you.”
Namjoon places a wet kiss on your thigh to praise you, and to thank you as well. Begins to move his fingers promptly, but can’t seem to get enough of your skin. Proceeds to make it shiny with his liquid love, sucking it to bruise you. To remember this moment a little more fondly in the morning. 
Creating a trail up to the back of your knee, his digits pick up the speed. The pool of slick you left in his palm sloshes with each rapid thrust of his hand. He looks back at you and sees you lost in the pleasure, eyes lidded and unfocused. “Look at me.” 
You do, weakly.
“Just a little bit more and I’ll fuck you, all right?”
You’re about to nod, but decide against it. “Mhm, yes, Namjoon, fuck.” 
He smiles down at you. Your relief inches closer. “I’m so proud of you for speaking up today. For letting me know.” 
You could cry right now. Because of his fingers making you feel so good. Because of his kindness making you feel so safe. It all closes in on you and you whimper. 
Abruptly, Namjoon unravels your grip on your knees and kisses you, tongue slipping in. You come all over his hand, without meaning to, and he doesn’t stop. On the contrary, Namjoon fucks you harder. Takes all four of his fingers and strums your clit, prolonging your orgasm, swallowing down all of your moans. 
“Come on.”
Namjoon helps you down. If it weren’t for his arms holding you steady, you would’ve collapsed on the floor. Your legs shake, muscles taut and tense. 
“I got you.”
Sat on the floor with his joggers and boxers pulled beneath his crotch, he pulls you down on his lap. A wisp of precum adorns his tip and you wrap your hand around it, collecting it with your thumb. Watch him as you swirl your tongue around the digit before sucking on it, letting go with an obscene pop. Namjoon licks his lips, hands clasping your hips hard enough to bruise you. Twitches in your other hand.
“Don’t fucking do that to me, baby.” 
You laugh almost inaudibly, drunk on him. “Are you gonna come in me?” 
He replaces your hand, holding his length at the base for you to sink down. And you do, gasping softly at his thickness. Your dewiness helps it to be a smooth ride.
“Gonna pump you full. Leave you dripping,” he promises, voice restrained. “Gonna fuck you so good you’ll remember it for the rest of your life.” 
One thing about Namjoon, he’s a man of his word. 
Seated perfectly on him, he waits for you to adjust. Alleviates the tremble of your thighs with his palms, massaging the muscles. Takes off your shirt and flings it across the kitchen. Gropes your tits, rolling your nipples between his fingers. You start to grind on him, throwing your head back. He latches onto your nipple and flicks the nub with his tongue. You lose your mind, leaking down his balls. 
“Ready?” he asks against the fullness of your breast. 
“Yeah, fuck me, Joon.” 
He thrusts into you once to watch you fall apart. Locks your arms behind your back. Grabs your forearms for his use.
“You forgot something.”
He thrusts again, harder this time.
“What?” you breathe out, meekly. 
“What word do you use when you want to ask for something?”
He watches you as you work it out in your brain. Fucks into you three more times, equally hard, to disrupt you. 
“Fuck, sorry. Please, Joon, please.”
He grinds, hips rotating in circles. 
“Uh-huh, that’s right. Now use it.” 
Namjoon envelops your tit in his mouth, swirling his tongue around your areola. Sucking. Keeping up the agonizing pace. Groaning when you clench down on him. 
“Please, hmph, fuck me.”
Your breast bounces back when he lets go, biting his lip. “Knew you could do it,” he coos. “Smart fucking girl.” 
He begins to fuck you properly. Thrusting up and down as he holds you steady, keeping his eyes locked on yours. As he takes control of your squirming, leaving his fingerprints on your forearms and waist. You’re breathless, whimpering, on the verge of sobbing. So turned on and needy for him that the emotions brim in you, threatening to spill over. 
“Aren’t you?” Namjoon continues. “Aren’t you a smart girl?” 
You nod, knowing exactly what he wants to hear. “I’m a smart girl.” 
He spanks your ass to reward you and you arch your back. Tits all in his face. He’s mesmerized watching them bounce and nearly slap against each other, nubs hard and pointed. He licks them up, flicking them with his tongue. You round your shoulders a little in pleasure, his strong grip not letting you fold like your body wants. 
“That’s right. So smart and good for me. So fucking wet. Making me lose my mind.”
Namjoon kisses you. Inhales you. Withdraws only for a mere second before he’s back, tongue in, toying with you the way you like it. You feel your relief calling your name.
“Namjoon, I’m so fucking close. I’m so close. I’m gonna come,” you whine, forehead pressed against his, face twisted in ecstasy.
Namjoon stops out of the blue and slips out of you. You whine loudly, but before you know it, he carries you to the couch and lays you down on it. Takes off all of his clothes until only his silver chain remains, shining bright in the dim light. He spreads your legs, one limb over the backrest, the other around his thigh. Grips his length and tugs at it a few times, the feeling of your wetness making him slippery pulling moan after moan out of him. 
He enters you again and resumes his fast pace, holding your calf in his hand. “Smart girls come on the couch, not on the floor like whores. You got that?” 
You nod almost too eagerly, fucked out beyond measure. “Yes, Joon, please make me come. Please, come here.” 
Namjoon leans towards you, propping his elbows by your head, cradling you. “I’m here. I’m gonna make you come.” 
From this angle, he fucks you more deeply than before, his tip reaching your cervix. You roll your eyes back, but bring them right back to his face when his chain taps you on the chin. You find it so hot that you grind your hips against his, meeting his thrusts, encouraging him to fuck you harder. The chain meets you in erratic staccatos and you scratch your nails down his bare back, the sword-like pendant hurting you in a way that you like. 
Namjoon notices. Slows down his movements. Pinches the chain from the back of his neck. Prompts you to lift your head and slides it over, letting it rest in the middle of your breasts. Then fucks you back into the couch.  
“So fucking beautiful,” he murmurs against your lips. “Gonna breed you. Hm. You want that, don’t you?”
The cord tightens in your lower belly. The bulge of where his tip is hitting you nudges him in his stomach and he looks down. Curses. 
“Look.” 
You follow his eyes and moan. “Namjoon, Namjoon, please come in me. I’m so close. Wanna feel you. Please.” 
He grunts, nodding his head. Licks his fingertips and presses them against your clit. Pleasures you in fast and swift jerks until you’re knocking your head back. Only when he grabs your jaw and kisses you does the cord snap, his lips being your ultimate undoing. 
Namjoon presses you down with his body, keeps you calm and collected. Kisses you all through it, your jaw, your neck, your cheeks. Then his thrusts turn sloppy and his cock twitches in you. He gives you one final hard thrusts and fills you up, groaning against your mouth.
You’re smoothing down the sting of your scratches on his back when he pulls out of you and his cum drips out of you. You wish you could see what he sees, hand on his mouth, careful to catch his drool. You push out more for him and he curses, fondling your pussy with his thumb before he pumps it back in. 
He comes back to you and kisses you. Fixes your hair. Caresses your cheek. Helps you stand on your feet as he leads you into the shower. Washes every inch of your body, heedful of the bruises he left on the back of your thigh. Lathers your hair in your favorite shampoo. Wraps you in a towel. Wanted to moisturize your body, but you told him off, knowing both of you would get horny again. You let him brush your hair, though, placing a comb in his hand. He’s gentle as he undoes the knots, then he blowdries your hair. 
And you do the same for him.
Once the pillow touches your cheeks, you’re both out like a light. 
Tumblr media
© 2024 hoseoksluna, all rights reserved.
BACK to masterlist
2K notes · View notes
mtchacffinz · 1 year
Text
hsr blade cravings
Tumblr media
note!!! (AFAB! reader) just a heads up this is like, really filthy. just pure smut. mentions of objectification, degrading, reader is fucked dumb.. it's rough sex, basically (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ
thinking about how blade would bend you over in every surface, fucking your cunny like an animal.. you're not very proud of it, but god fucking damn the way he thrusts and fucks you until your knees can't keep up is so addicting it's concerning. Blades words are so filthy. This actively contrasts the way he's gently caressing your cheek right now. "Tsk tsk, look front." The mirror is calling. You can see how disheveled your hair is, and how lewd your tears and drool are falling off your lips. His hot breath is on your ear, and you can feel his palms on your waist. Fuck, the way he traces intentions on your skin makes your cunt throb with impatience.
His hunger is insatiable. For someone who had lost all desire to live, he thinks hard of a way he to angle your legs making every thrust unreal. Blade reaches the most unknown parts of you, making you grip and scratch the sheets yourself. You could barely make out any words, and he's already fucking you raw deep within that cute hole of yours. His thrusts are relentless, and his grip on you was iron. All you could do was whine pathetically which each slow drag he teases out of your lips.
Pathetic pathetic pathetic! You can't even keep yourself sane under him, nor can handle his undivided attention, how can you reach equal stature now?
Blade hears you beg and beg, this only makes me wipe away your tears. Didn't you want this? To be bent over, fucked raw.. humiliated, used? You were the one who offered him a fuck toy, you gotta prove your worth by not breaking so early. But you have to admit.. you came so much, too. Everytime he pulls out, splotches of his and your cum spill out almost immediately, leaving a trail that slowly drip lewdly. His tip would tease your sensitive nub, grinding over it ever so slowly. Get a grip, (Y/n)!
Your fucked out face is a feast in itself.
Your pussy invites him so sweetly. No need to go slow, who are you anyway? You're just his fuck toy. Nothing but his fuck toy. Blade would grab your waist and pump you into his cock until he came. He'd return you back to where you came from with cum oozing out of your hole. Maybe he's even going to be nice enough and brand you with his teeth. Everytime you hear him say such words, your walls would clench him so good he can't help but fuck you harder. His fingers would always find their way to your mouth, letting out those muffled moans out of your lips. Fuck, you're really hot.
Have mercy on him, will you? His back is so red from all the scratches you give him. No doubt he likes it, even if you draw blood. You'd chase his lips so avidly while his fingers are railing your insides. You don't have to worry what to do, because he already knows what you want. You're a whore who knows nothing but the shape of his cock inside you, and a slut who'd get on her knees just to get the release on her tongue.
He's so cruel.. oh so cruel. Sometimes he fucks you so good he'd leave you lagging and trembling in the sheets. He'd stare at you just to see how much of a mess he made you— whilst you don't even know whats going through his head. Does Blade like it? Does he find amusement in it? You can't think.. you can't even speak straight.
Blade suddenly leans into you, propping your legs into his frame. His lips were in your ears. You can hear him whisper something.
"Stay with me a little longer, will you?"
..Was that an answer?
Tumblr media
in my mouth NOW. (FINALLY EDITED WOOOOOOOOO)
2K notes · View notes
sanakiras · 5 months
Text
TREAT YOU BETTER
PAIRING — lee chan x fem!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
WORD COUNT — 3.7k
SYNOPSIS — your boyfriend of five months has been treating you like hell, and one of your closest friends, lee chan, refuses to let it go on any longer, taking matters into his own hands.
TAGS — college au, best friends to lovers, cheating, explicit sexual content, mutual pining, mentions of reader struggling with low self-esteem, cheesy stuff, yes i did come up with this after accidentally listening to treat you better by shawn mendes, this didn’t turn out as good i hoped it would but oh well!
NOTE — first fic here. he looks so good in the wait m/v so i wanted to write something for him :D my beloved
Tumblr media
the slam of the door behind you rings through your ears. you try to wipe your cheeks dry, hoping you don’t look like the tearful mess you are.
your voice feels raw from yelling for the past hour or so. it’s been going like this for the past two months at least twice a week, and you’re exhausted because of it.
as the rain pours, you notice the familiar car driving towards you, bright lights feeling heavy on your eyes. you open the door without hesitation to let yourself sink into the passenger’s seat, taking a few deep breaths, all without looking at the driver.
but the quiet sobs escaping you are enough to give it away.
chan has his one arm leaning on top of the steering wheel, the other gently touching your shoulder to make you look at him, but you refuse.
“i’m fine,” you stutter out, sniffing from the cold, “really.”
of course you’re not fine. both of you are more than aware of the toxicity of the situation. you getting into arguments with your boyfriend several times a week, resulting in you calling chan and staying over at his apartment for a night, only to hear you make it up to the guy the next day when you weren’t even in the wrong to begin with.
“we have a different definition of that, then.”
“it was just an argument. we’ll work it out in a couple hours.”
“it’s not normal.” he says, trying to get it through your thick skull without raising his voice. “it’s not normal, baby.”
you sniff, trying to somehow get rid of the pain beating against your forehead. “he can be so mean, and then… then he’s so sweet again.”
chan wants to rip his hair out of his head. five fucking months of this have passed at this point, and he doesn’t know how much more of it he can take. he’s not sure how to handle the situation the right way, either.
he’s been in love with you for years. years. since sophomore year in high school. it was never his intention to fall in love with you, nor did he think he would, but he did, and god did he fall hard. embarrassingly hard.
nevertheless, he was always too afraid to make a move. too afraid that you’d reject him and he’d be out of your life forever like he was never there in the first place.
but he’s grown up now. third year of university, twenty-two years old, longer hair, a leather jacket and a solid bunch of experiences. some great, some he’d rather forget.
and so five months ago, he’d finally mustered the courage. he was finally going to own up to his feelings and tell you the truth.
only for you to excitedly come up to him, telling him you’re seeing this guy. and it made his heart sink in his chest, but he pushed his feelings to the side for your happiness.
or so he tried.
your boyfriend treats you like shit. he was sweet in the beginning — they always are.
then the cracks in the façade started to show.
it’s not that you don’t see it. you do — but it’s difficult to leave when someone knows just how to keep you where they want you. every time you tell yourself you’re gonna break up with him, he sweet-talks you and says things can be fixed, and that going through a rough patch is normal.
but chan knows better.
he just needs you to know better as well.
it breaks his heart to see his favorite person let herself get hurt like this. he becomes a little more torn with every sob leaving your body, every tear spilling from your eyes.
he gently puts the buds of his fingertips on your chin and jaw, slowly turning your face to him so he can look you in the eye.
the tears are still quietly running down your cheeks, your face numb, now devoid of any emotion, ashamed to have him see you in this state.
“you’re killing yourself like this.” he whispers, voice laced with concern. “he’ll never make you happy.”
you sniff from your breakdown. “maybe it’s me. maybe i just need to stop giving him such a hard time—”
“don’t even think about finishing that sentence.”
“please, chan, just… just go and get me somewhere else. all i need is some breathing space — please.” you beg him.
he wants to scream, wants to tell you to break up with him for good, wants to walk into that damn house and do it himself — but he can’t.
instead, he obliges, driving you to his place.
his cozy one-person apartment feels like the best place in the world to you — the one place where you can get away from everything else.
you watch chan as he locks the door behind him, then leaning against it for a moment as he watches you sit on the armrest of the soft chair. “you okay? want some tea?”
the corners of your lips curl up at the suggestion. he knows you awfully well. “that’d be great.”
his lashes flutter before he nods, kicking his shoes off by the door.
once he’s busy in the kitchen, you bite your lip as you recall the way he softly talked to you in the car, eyes trailing past the curves of his arms and the sharpness of his jawline.
he’s dated more than you have. not much in high school, but definitely during the past three years he’s spent at college. though it doesn’t surprise you. he has such warmth to him, with the beautifully infectious sound of his laughter, that big smile and some of the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen.
it wasn’t until recently you began to see him in a different light. whenever you saw him with a new girl, arm around her waist or over her shoulders, you secretly imagined yourself next to him more than once. you can’t believe you didn’t take notice of how handsome he was before.
but you’re too much of a coward to tread over that line of friendship, too much of a coward to see if maybe, just maybe, your feelings are requited.
“wanna stay here for a while?” he asks, hoping you’ll at least spend the night here before you go back to your boyfriend, as you’ve done countless times before.
“yeah. don’t feel like going back yet.” you smile, trying to somewhat make light of the situation.
“then don’t.”
you sigh at his response. “it’s not that easy.”
“why not?”
“because i don’t wanna throw something away the second things get hard.”
“there’s a difference between hard and unbearable. your case is the latter.”
feeling backed into a corner, even though he hardly means to do so, you turn the topic on him. “you’ve had some rough experiences with past girlfriends too and you stuck around.”
god. if only you knew he ended up leaving them because he never enjoyed being with them as much as he enjoyed being with you. “you’d be surprised.” he mutters under his breath, pouring two cups of tea, making yours exactly as he knows you like.
when you stay quiet, he tries to think of a way to get it through your head that you need to break up with your resident ass of a boyfriend.
“can i ask you something?”
“sure.”
“what’s it going to take for you to leave him?”
the question makes you look up before using a tone that almost sounds like you’re scolding him. “chan.”
“i’m serious. he’s treating you like shit. you call me crying every week.”
“it’s just—”
“no, it’s not ‘just a tough time’. you know it isn’t.” he interrupts, jaw clenched tight but voice controlled. he will not yell at you like that piece of trash does. “he’s a controlling, manipulative asshole. it’s not gonna get better. if anything, he’ll just treat you worse in the future.”
“yeah, well, not all of us have people lined up.”
the words have left your mouth before you can comprehend it, leaving you to lower your head in regret. not that it’s any less true. to you, anyway.
“what, and i do?”
“don’t you?”
he’s not sure what baffles him more — you thinking that he’s got girls lined up to date him or you thinking that you don’t have anyone else out there that would be willing to date you.
“what’s this really about?” he sits down on the empty coffee table, facing you directly. “what does my dating life have to do with yours?”
“nothing — it doesn’t. i never said it did.”
“then why the comment about me having people lined up? which i don’t, by the way.”
the answer sits at the tip of your tongue, but you can’t bring yourself to say it without looking away from him. “maybe not. but at least you won’t end up alone. i can’t say the same for myself.”
and there it is. the sole reason you’re still with the guy. your crippling fear of ending up alone, your heavy insecurity that makes you believe no one could possibly want you.
the last thing he wants is for you to get hurt — but he’d rather have you suffer through your first heartbreak than end up with someone who walks all over you like a doormat.
“please don’t take this the wrong way, sweetheart, but if you think that low of yourself, you’re a little stupid.”
the comment makes you snort. “well, it’s certainly fitting.”
he wipes some of your half-dried tears away, his one hand remaining to cup your cheek, an alarmingly intimate gesture.
“aside from the fact that there’s nothing wrong or shameful about ending up alone... i need you to know that you’re worth it. you’re gorgeous and intelligent and—” he halts for a moment, in a way confessing his love for you, not caring how cheesy it sounds, “—you deserve everything you want. ‘cause you’re one in a million.”
fuck, has he always looked at you that lovingly?
his words catch you off-guard for a moment before you press your lips together. “as much as i think it’s sweet of you to say those things, you’re only saying them ‘cause you’re my friend.” you interrupt him, having made up your mind.
after which chan shakes his head, gently twirling a strand of your hair between his fingers. “i’m saying it because it’s true. any guy would be lucky to have you in his life.”
“i don’t think ‘lucky’ is the term my boyfriend would use.”
“yeah, ‘cause he’s a fucking dick.” he immediately comments, adding the next part with a softer tone. “if you were with me, i sure as shit wouldn’t be acting like that.”
that last sentence catches your attention, and chan realizes what he just said, suddenly very aware he’s treading on thin ice now.
but it had to come out one way or another.
though you seem to be going along with his words, not showing any signs of being uncomfortable with it. “and who’s to say you wouldn’t break my heart?”
he sees the intrigue on your face and decides to lean in closer. “if i broke your heart, i’d be breaking mine as well.”
“i’m not convinced.” you murmur, just loud enough for him to hear, and chan feels his heartbeat quicken.
every rational thought going through his mind is thrown out of the window the moment he catches you staring at his lips. it’s enough for him to put his hand on your lower cheek and smash his lips against yours.
he kisses you like he always imagined he would. perhaps a little too enthusiastically, but he’s waited too long for this moment to care.
and you’re kissing him back.
you both get hot from adrenaline and arousal. his hands roam down your hips, but when you start pulling on the collar of his jacket, he finally has it in him to break the kiss.
“are you sure you want this? i don’t want you to feel pressured—”
“i’ve wanted this for so long, chan. take it off, please.”
maybe he should pinch himself to make sure he’s not dreaming. you’re underneath him, lips swollen, gazing at him like he’s your whole world and more.
he leans down again to pick you up, ensuring you’ve got your legs wrapped around his waist so he can carry you to his bedroom.
once he lays you down on the soft bed, you watch him take off his jacket and throw his shirt over his head, leaving him with his chest bare, elastic waistband of his underwear visible.
he’s a dancer in his spare time, but you know he’s been hitting the gym recently as well, and it’s paying off, noticing his bigger biceps and toned abs.
then he chuckles from the way you’re observing him, and that smile — that beautifully big smile is what you fell in love with.
one of many things, really.
you remove your basic long-sleeved shirt, exposing your skin before him, enjoying the way he’s looking at the black bra you’re wearing underneath.
you’re seated at the edge of the bed, at eye-level with his chest, which you kiss softly.
he follows your actions like a hawk, unable to keep his eyes off you. he proceeds to move your hair behind your shoulder, his right hand finding your jaw when he kisses you again, lips trailing down to your neck and collarbone.
his touches are slow and sensual. at the end of the day, it’s your first time together, and you both notice the pressure and tension that comes with it.
you’re both aching to touch each other more already, but it feels so much better like this.
he gently pushes you to lay on your back, hovering over you to kiss down your chest and stomach, smoothly pulling down your skirt before his fingers hook onto the fabric of your lace underwear.
“what’d you want me to do, pretty girl?” he asks while getting rid of your panties, looking you in the eye as he does it.
the nickname makes you shiver. “you can do anything you wanna do.”
“wanna eat you out. bet i’m better at it than that motherfucker.”
“not hard to beat when he never does it at all.” you mumble to yourself, but he hears it.
“are you kidding? has he ever even made you cum?”
you just give him a deadpan stare that has a hint of embarrassment to it, which is enough for him to know the answer.
just being aware of how bad that fucker treats you makes him want to prove to you that he can make you feel so, so much better. and that’s exactly what he’s gonna do.
he wastes no time, spreading your legs so his tongue can get to work. you shiver at the feeling of his mouth on you, biting your lower lip to not squeal already from sensitivity.
“no. none of that. i wanna be able to hear every sound you make.” he says after taking your hand away from your mouth. “you can pull on my hair if you like.”
“do you like that?”
“yeah, i enjoy a bit of pain.”
that makes you giggle a bit. “you masochist.”
to which he responds with a gentle pinch to your skin. “keep it in mind for next time, baby.”
fuck — you definitely will.
your hands run through his soft black hair. you’ve locked your legs behind his head, hips bucking up a little every time he hits a spot that feels good, his warm breath and wetness of his mouth on your pussy turning you on like crazy.
chan is pretty sure he’s descending into heaven when he hears you moan his name for the first time. he doesn’t know how many times he’s fucked his fist imagining that sound.
so he adds a finger to the warm and wet mess between your legs, sliding in easily, biting his own lip as he watches your reaction to it. you’ve got your head thrown back, one hand fisting the sheets, the other still holding his locks.
then he moves to a second, and not much later he’s got three of his fingers pumping in and out of you, arching them a little to find the right spot, rubbing and sucking on your clit.
“does that feel good?” he asks, just a bit out of breath, which is nothing compared to the writhing mess that’s you. he keeps messing with the pace, edging you a little every time, making you go crazy.
“please, channie, please let me cum—”
“i will if you answer me, baby.”
you whine, nodding at him desperately. “feels s’good, so fucking good.”
“want me to go faster?”
“please. god—need you inside me so bad.”
even he can resist so much. you’re so good for him, so he increases the pace of his fingers, relishing in the way you start squirming underneath him, trying to push him away and pull him closer all the same.
then you pull on his hair almost violently, making him moan against your pussy as you hit your first climax in a long time.
and he doesn’t stop yet — only once he sees you’ve regained focus does he pull his fingers out of you, sucking on them to savor the taste right before kissing you again, your trembling body aching for him.
he only breaks the kiss to reach for the drawer in his nightstand, grabbing a condom out of it, getting off of you to push off the last pieces of clothing still on him. the realization of the fact that your best friend is about to fuck you after god knows how long finally begins to dawn on you, and it makes your heart beat that much harder.
once he’s slipped the condom on, you move your hands to his neck and shoulders, biting your lip when you feel him push your legs behind his waist.
you gasp when he bottoms out of you for the first time. his head is buried in the crook of your neck as he finds his rhythm, sucking at your sensitive skin, not giving a damn whether he leaves marks on someone that’s technically not even his.
yet.
“do you remember that time we went to senior prom together?” he asks breathily, not slowing down even a little bit. “you were wearing that pretty blue dress. god, i wanted to take you home that night more than anything.”
you remember that. it was just before you two graduated high school together — he looked so dashing in his suit. you’d even imagined kissing him underneath the basketball bleachers like some cliche rom-com.
“so why didn’t you?”
“was too much of a pussy to do it.”
you bring yourself to chuckle inbetween your moans. “that’s a shame. i would’ve let you.”
just knowing that his feelings are reciprocated turns him on. he lifts his head up a little, kissing the front of your neck, your jaw, your cheeks — everything, only halting for a moment when he fucks you just a little faster, watching the way your eyes roll back from pleasure.
your hands run over his strong back as he pushes in and out of you at a steady pace, your lip nearly bleeding from how hard you’re biting it.
he hisses and relishes in the burning feeling of your nails digging into his shoulder blades.
“chan—god, harder, please—”
“i know, baby, i know, i got you.” he breathes out, changing up the position by hooking your legs over his shoulders.
it hits the exact right spot when he fucks you again, harder and deeper this time, your hands desperately clinging onto his skin, teeth sinking into your lower lip until they're nearly drawing blood.
beads of sweat roll down his muscular back. he feels you’re getting closer to hitting that release, so he moves one hand down to rub your clit again, aching to see you fall apart underneath him.
“fuck, ’s too much, channie—” you whine, throwing your head back in the pillow for a moment.
but he shakes his head, continuing, knowing you’re close. “you can do it, pretty girl. cum for me again. i wanna feel it.”
and he discovers that begging you works wonders, because it’s enough for you to come undone, clamping on his dick, making it feel so tight that he spills his own release into the condom mere seconds after.
with a layer of sweat on your foreheads, he feels how sensitive you are when he pulls out. he throws the condom in the trashcan, turning his face back to yours and kisses your lips more softly this time.
“how do you feel?”
“a little worn out.” you sigh, proceeding to show a smile. “but better.”
“good. how do you feel about taking a bath?”
“sounds nice.”
chan can’t help himself and leans in to kiss you again. he’s already getting awfully used to this, but one issue remains. “i wanna be with you. i meant everything i said tonight.”
the sentiment warms your heart. he’s always had that effect on you. “i know. i wanna be with you, too.”
he nods, happy with your words. “you go on ahead to the bathroom. i’ll clean things up here.”
“okay.” you tell him, pressing another kiss to his cheek before leaving the bedroom, feeling utterly lovesick.
he shares your feelings — it’s like he’s reliving that exciting feeling of seeing you the first few days after he realized he was in love with you.
there’s something that pulls him out of it, though. a certain vibrating sound. what is that? he thinks to himself.
and after looking around the room, he discovers it’s a phone receiving a call. your phone, to be exact, sitting in the back pocket of the jeans you discarded earlier.
the screen of your cellphone lights up, and he picks up the device, about to let you know someone’s calling — but his voice gets caught in his throat when he notices it’s the asshole who made you cry in the first place.
scoffing to himself, he taps the red button and declines the call.
Tumblr media
thank you for reading. x
® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.
475 notes · View notes
heytheredelulu · 19 days
Text
Tumblr media
Unbreakable - The After Years
Follow up to Unbreakable, my Bucky Barnes x Reader fic.
ALL OF MY WORK IS 18+
C/W: Language, sexual references
Tumblr media Tumblr media
You don’t get pregnant after that first time. You hadn’t been in your fertile window but were still disappointed with your negative test despite knowing it wouldn’t have been positive when you took it.
When your period came, Bucky brought you your favorite snacks, bought you a new fluffy blanket and a pack of ovulation tests that he gave to you with a tender kiss on the forehead.
The first time you got the smiley face on your ovulation test you nearly tackled him when he came through the door that evening, brandishing the test stick at him and peppering kisses on every bare inch of skin you could find.
He made love to you constantly, regardless of where you were in your cycle, just craving the intimacy of being raw inside you, of the feeling of his warm, thick cum spilling within you. He’d rut himself deep into you, kissing your cervix with the tip of his cock, desperate to be as far in you as he could physically be.
You knew you were pregnant before you even took the test. You’d been cooking dinner and Alpine had hopped onto the counter, craving a good ole head scratch and the idea of cat fur where you were plating your food sent you into a violent gagging fit.
You called Sarah, Sam’s sister and your best friend and she squealed so loud you nearly dropped your phone. She stayed on FaceTime with you while you anxiously took the test, not even needing to wait the full three minutes for the results because you had a blazing positive the moment your urine passed through the window. You made her promise not to speak a word of it to Sam before you had the chance to tell Bucky.
He could sense something was up the moment he got home. His enhanced senses followed your strange new scent into the living room and when his eyes met yours, he knew- he knew you were carrying his child. Tears brimmed his lower lids the second you stood up and he pulled you into a tight embrace, kissing you fiercely as he cried tears of joy.
Bucky was attentive and overly protective of you l you anyways and once you were pregnant he became over the top to say the least. He doted on you constantly, always asking, “Are you feeling okay, Angel?” “Have you eaten today?” “What can I get you?” Sam and Sarah always teased him, saying he would treat you as if you were made of glass.
He accompanied you to every appointment, his foot tapping anxiously before every ultrasound, his eyes wet with tears every time he had the opportunity to see the small little movements on the screen, every time he heard the fast paced thump thump thump of his baby’s heartbeat inside your womb.
The first time he felt her kick- his daughter- his flesh hand was resting affectionately against the swell of your abdomen, where it lay almost any chance he had. You’d been watching a movie, lounged on the couch together with Alpine curled in his lap. The tiny flutter against his palm drew a sharp gasp from his chest, his eyes wide as he whispered in a voice of disbelief, “Angel, I felt her. She’s kicking. She’s kicking, isn’t she?”
Bucky was the first to buy things for his baby girl. He constantly came home with outfits, bows and blankets, excitedly showing you what he’d picked out. Anytime a package arrive in the mail you knew it was something else he’d bought for your daughter, spending entirely too much time online shopping once he’d figured out how to navigate Amazon.
You’d painted the nursery together, laughing and teasing him once you’d finished and he began attempting to put together the crib. The instructions ended up crumpled in a ball as he wiped sweat off his forehead, motherfucking the pieces laid out on the floor in front of him. Once he’d finally conquered ‘the damn thing’ you kissed him deeply as you admired the nursery, the kiss quickly becoming gentle touches and heavy breathing until you made love on the soft carpeted floor. He took his time exploring every inch of your body, his thrusts careful, slow and sensual as if you were the most precious thing he’d ever touched.
Your water broke late in the evening, while he was drawing you a bath to soak your sore back and swollen ankles. Bucky raced around the house in a panic, passing the hospital bag several times while looking for it as you watched with an amused smirk. “Baby, take a breath.” You told him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. “It’s gonna be fine.”
Your labor was long and hours blurred together amidst the pain and anxiety but Bucky never left your side. He held your hand, pushed your hair off your forehead and whispered words of praise and encouragement against your ear as he kissed your temple. At one point he climbed into the bed with you, settling his powerful frame behind you as he drew you to his broad chest, holding you against him as you labored until it was time to push. Fortunately you didn’t have to push for long before the tiny cry echoed through the room, choked sobs of joy and relief bubbling up from your chest as you slumped back against your weeping husband.
Once you were comfortable, your small, perfect daughter resting against your chest, Bucky headed out into the waiting room with wet cheeks and a proud grin. “Winnifred. Winnifred Natasha Barnes.” He told Sam and Sarah as they stood up excitedly to hug him after having waited for hours for her arrival.
Winnie was a daddy’s girl and she had Bucky wrapped around her finger from the first moment he held her. She looked like you, with his blue eyes and his dark hair and you frequently argued playfully over whose nose she had. Named affectionately after his mother and your fallen friend and teammate, as she grew into her toddler years she definitely gave you both a run for your money as she perfectly emulated Natasha’s fiery personality.
Bucky couldn’t have been more wrong in his fear of being a father. He was the most attentive and loving dad you’d ever seen and you often found yourself lingering in the doorway at night, your heart swelling with love at the sight of the two of them curled up in the rocking chair after having fallen asleep mid bedtime story.
Bucky loved being a father so much that shortly after Winnie’s third birthday you were pregnant a second time. A boy, much to Bucky’s excitement. He would daydream about playing catch with him, teaching him how to fix up the motorcycle- all while he braided Winnie’s hair and chased her around the yard.
It wasn’t more than a year after Steven Samuel Barnes was born that you became pregnant for a third and final time. Your second son, Anthony ‘Tony’ James Barnes being the final and beautiful piece to complete the family you’d only ever dreamed of.
Winnie was the first to find out about who her dad used to be. She was 14 and had come home from school in tears over the cruel things a particular little shit of a classmate had told her. Before you sat her down to tell her everything, you had pulled Bucky into your bedroom, cupping his face with your hands. “Unbreakable.” You reminded him softly, until he nodded, eyes closed with a shaky breath.
It was easier to show Winnie who her dad really was. You took her to the Smithsonian, walking alongside her through the Captain America exhibit, until she stopped wide-eyed in front of the large picture of her father. The panel detailed his service in the 107th, his capture in Azzano and the heroic actions that took place during his time alongside Steve Rogers and the Howling Commandos before the tragic fall in 1945 from the train in the Alps. Once she’d had the chance to absorb her dad’s incredible feats, he took her for a long walk along the shore where he told her his story, in his own words- beginning with his time under HYDRA. He told her fond memories of his years in Wakanda, mentioning how incredibly badass the Dora Milaje are and that she would love Ayo, Okye and Shuri and perhaps one day she could meet them. He explained the blip, how he’d fought alongside so many heroes in order to save the Earth from the Mad Titan Thanos and fondly recalled Steve and Tony- her smile widening into a grin as she made the connection to her younger brothers’ names. He ended his story with you- how you met, how he fell in love with you and how you saved him. He told her how you made him a better man, helped him overcome his darkness and how she, his beautiful, resilient, first born child reminds him everyday that everything he had been through was worth it when he saw her smile.
Winnie got detention the next day for foul language. The principal called home to report that when she’d been arguing with a classmate she’d said- and I quote- “My dad saved the fucking planet, Jessica. Your dad’s screwing his secretary.”
Tumblr media
Taglist (Taglist is open):
@badbunnybabygirl01 @suz7days @truthfulliarr @lilacka @writtingrose @samsgoddess @loveisallyouneed1125 @vicmc624 @millercontracting @wildernessflora @mydorkyboys @blackhawkfanatic @honestlywork @ladyvenera @cavity-exe @ihavetwoholesforareason @km-ffluv @shortnloud @mrs-katelyn-barnes @somnorvos @22rhianna2006 @fanfictionreaderfan @misshale21 @angelbaby99 @deans-spinster-witch @kezibear @acornacreacure @wintrsoldrluvr @terry2227
386 notes · View notes
lilbunnis · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
❛ ♡. header credit. ⎯⎯ 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲. ❜
Tumblr media
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭᛬ michael gavey as your boyfriend.
author’s note᛬ hii ! ♡ first time posting a concept on here--- & first time writing for my boyfriend, michael gavey. [also… i know we haven’t seen michael smoking cigarettes in the film; but it’s my canon that he does!] i hope y’all like it…& please, reblog & give me ur feedback. thank u! 🍒
warnings᛬ mdni! mentions of smut, profanity, she/her pronouns, afab reader, pussy whipped!michael, mentions of oral sex (m + f), demeaning names, [slight] mentions of bullying, pet names, romance, fluff. any grammatical errors are my own--- in advance, i sincerely apologize.
word count᛬ 591.
Tumblr media
𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝑭𝑼𝑪𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃.
꒰ ⋆ ♡⃘ michael gavey would be the most perfect, adoring and loving boyfriend--- though he could also be quite cruel sometimes; a bit of an asshole, too… all due to him being a cocky, little smartass. michael gavey is head over heels in love with you. like, obsessive--- ‘will do anything you ask of him’ in love with you. michael gavey can be a complete and utter menace; one moment, he is a total dick to you because you’re not understanding what he has been trying to explain to you [for almost two hours now], from a class you both share--- and the next, he’s apologizing with a bouquet of a dozen red roses and his mouth on your cunt for hours. afterwards, romantic words from your favorite poets would spill from his soft, naturally curved mouth, while he’d casually hand feed you cherries, occasionally lighting up cigarettes for himself. michael gavey is so ridiculously smart, he finds it quite unbelievable how utterly dense you can be whenever he compliments and flirts with you, though you'd think he's just joking around, or being a tease--- honestly, he thinks it’s kind of cute how oblivious you can be to his affections.
michael gavey might not look like it, but he’s the type of man to fuck you nasty style; can be quite possessive over you, too. most days, when your boyfriend michael gavey is studying for an upcoming exam, a lit cigarette hanging loosely from his plush lips, while his nimble fingers continued skimming through page after page of his massive textbooks, studying nonstop. sneakily, you’d go into his dormitory and drop down to your knees, before taking him into your mouth and eagerly sucking him off, causing a shout from him when he eventually comes down your raw, sore throat--- “my poor, little baby girl… such a naughty fucking thing,” he’d coo mockingly, clenching both of your blushy cheeks together with his long fingers, before he’d claim your mouth in a dirty, deeply passionate kiss.
michael gavey adores seeing you wearing his clothes, especially his oversized sweaters, because that way he can ruthlessly rut into your weeping cunt while fucking you from behind; with you only wearing his sweater. michael gavey loves the taste of your strawberry flavored lipgloss [nearly as much as he loves the taste of your sweet little pussy]--- he loves kissing your plump, juicy, glossy lips whenever he can; and fuck, having your glossy lips wrapped around his cock? let’s just say, it’s embarrassing how quickly he shoots his load down your willing, suffocating throat.
michael gavey loves the way that you smell--- like red roses, strawberry lipgloss, vanilla perfume, sweet scented candles [courtesy of you lighting them all around his dormitory], and your skin… fuckin’ hell; soft as satin and sweet as honey, always smelling of the lavender body lotion he bought for you one random day that the two of you were out shopping [yes, he was holding all of your bags like a perfect gentleman]. michael gavey might be called on the daily a loser or even a freak, but he knows that regardless of the name calling; you’ll always stand by his side, defending him with your foul [glossy] mouth. michael gavey thinks of you as his soft, delicate little angel with a heart made of glass that he must protect at all costs. michael gavey would do absolutely anything you ask of him, he is just so fucking whipped for you; you’re his first love, and hopefully, you’ll be his last.
Tumblr media
657 notes · View notes
vernons-girl · 3 months
Note
hi! i saw ur requests is open 🥹 can i req for a joshua x yn inspired by their song “2 minus 1” wherein they had a rly bad breakup and swore not to see each other again but their hearts says otherwise. the “i cant get u out of my head” line 🤧 so he got drunk, went to yn and confessed he still loves her and asked for a second chance to fix their relationship 🥲 yn all the time is just waiting for him too to come back 🥹 thank you :))
2 minus 1 | hong joshua
TW// alcohol consumption, reference to harsh breakup
angst,happy ending,w.c:0.6
a/n: here you go!! I hope you'll like it <3
Tumblr media
Joshua stood outside of your apartment building. The night was cold, but his heart was even colder. He had promised himself he’d never see you again, yet here he was, swaying slightly on his feet, fueled by liquid courage.
It had been 6 months since your breakup. It had been explosive—a tornado of anger, tears, and bitter words. You two had sworn never to cross paths again, but love had a way of defying logic.
Joshua’s breath hitched as he climbed the stairs. He leaned against the handrail as the alcohol he had consumed earlier still had a heavy effect on him. He had drowned his courage in whiskey, hoping it would numb the pain. But it only fueled his determination.
He knocked on the door, the sound echoing through the empty corridor. Seconds stretched into eternity. Then, the door creaked open, revealing your sleepy figure— eyes red-rimmed, hair a tangled mess. You looked like a fallen angel, broken but still beautiful, he thought.
“Joshua,” you whispered, voice barely audible.
He stumbled forward, you stepped aside, keeping your hands to yourself, not knowing if you should reach out for him or not.
So he stepped inside, the warmth of your apartment wrapping around him like a forgotten embrace. The walls held secrets—the laughter, the tears, the whispered promises. Joshua’s heart clenched. He had to fix this.
You closed the door, your gaze never leaving his face. “Why are you here?” you asked, your voice trembling.
“Y/n,” he said, his voice rough from both alcohol and emotion. “I need to talk to you.”
You didn’t respond, just studied him with those haunting eyes. He could see the pain etched into your features—the same pain he had caused.
“I can’t get you out of my head,” he blurted out, the words escaping before he could stop them.
Your gaze softened. “Joshua, we said—”
“I know what we said,” he interrupted. “But my heart doesn’t listen to logic. It’s been months, y/n. Months of waking up alone, reaching for you in bed, only to find emptiness.”
You scoffed “You broke me, Josh. I loved you, and you shattered us. You left me.”
“I was wrong,” Joshua said, his voice raw. “I was a fool. Love isn’t about perfection; it’s about fighting for what matters. And you matter, y/n.”
He leaned closer, his breath mingling with yours. “I was a fool. I thought leaving would fix everything. But all I did was break us further.”
Joshua’s mind raced. He had to make you understand.
“Y/n,” he whispered, “I still love you. I’ve never stopped.”
You looked away, tears threatening to spill. “Why now? Why come back?”
“Because I can’t live without you,” he confessed. “I’ve tried, but every song, every street corner, every damn sunset reminds me of you.”
You took a deep breath, “You hurt me, Josh.”
“I know,” he said, his voice raw. “But I’m willing to fight for us. Give me a second chance. Let me prove that I’ve changed.”
You hesitated, torn between the past and the fragile hope of a future. “What if you break me again?”
He cupped your face, wiping away a tear. “We’ll find a way to mend,” Joshua promised. “We’ll learn to love the cracks.”
And then, without a second thought, he kissed you—a desperate, hungry kiss that tasted of forgiveness and longing. Your hearts collided, breaking down the walls you had built.
“I’ve been waiting,” you whispered against his lips.
“Me too,” Joshua confessed.
You had your second chance, not at sunrise, but at sunset—a chance to rewrite your story, to turn two minus one into something whole.
And so, in the quiet of the apartment, you began again.
155 notes · View notes
hisui-dreamer · 3 months
Note
OMG HI RINNA!!! CONGRATS ON 2K!!!! you deserve this milestone because of your beautiful, heart-wrenching, aboslutely soulful works!! keep this up but remember to take care of yourself as well!
my request is a bit unique hehe, but i hope this can be a break from the romance! may i request tansy (symbolizing hostility and a declaration of war) and leona kingscholar? i just thought that it would fit him perfectly, especially during his overblot in book 2.
HAVE FUN!!! remember to take mental + physical breaks, appreciate nature once in a while, and REMEMBER TO LIVE, LAUGH LOVE YOUR HUSBAND!!!
love, siren
beyond the breaking point
Pairing: Leona Kingscholar x gn!reader
Synopsis: you find yourself unable to recognise the man standing before you
Tags: angst, emotional hurt/comfort, leona overblotting, hopeful ending?
Word count: 705
Notes: siren!!! thank you so much for your kind words omg🥹💕 i hope you're doing well too! i loved doin this idea!! something about looking into someone's eyes who you love dearly and unable to recognise them achsdkladhjhsdj
live laugh love eel always hahaha
Masterlist
Tumblr media
flower of choice: tansy
tansy flowers possess a natural toxicity within their composition, suggesting an inherent hostility. In the Victorian language of flowers, this bitter herb adorned with button-like yellow blooms conveys the message, "I declare war on you!". This may be attributed to their repellant qualities, which convey a sense of resistance and defiance
Tumblr media
“I’ve been loathed since the day I was born. I’ve never had a place, never had a future! None of my hard work is ever rewarded! How could any of YOU possibly understand? My disappointment?! MY pain?!”
His anguished words echo through the air, and your heart clenches with empathy. You've never heard him speak with such raw vulnerability before, and it pains you to see him in such torment. Every fibre of your being yearns to rush to his side, to offer comfort and solace, to ease the burden of his suffering in any way you can.
But you find yourself frozen in shock. Leona, usually so composed and guarded with his emotions, now bared his soul in a way you never imagined possible. He's always been distant, keeping his pain hidden behind a facade of indifference or arrogance. At most, he would grumble and glare at you whenever he was in a foul mood, but you can’t remember a time when he truly lashed out. But now, faced with his anguish laid bare, you wonder if this is the breaking point, the moment when all his pent-up emotions finally spill over the edge.
Not a moment before the thought crosses your mind, your beloved is enveloped in a thick, black smog, suffocating the air around him with its presence. The ominous dripping sounds that follow seem to echo through the very depths of your soul, each drop a sombre reminder of the impending darkness.
You blink, hoping against hope that this is all some dreadful nightmare, but when your eyes open, the nightmare persists. He's overblotted, his once-familiar form now obscured by dark ink dripping across his limbs like sinister veins. And towering over him, casting a shadow so menacing it sends shivers down your spine, is the unmistakable shape of a lion, an embodiment of the darkness that has consumed him.
No... it can’t be...
Your mind reels at the incongruity of it all. Just days ago, the two of you were inseparable, spending as much time with each other as possible. You can still hear the echo of his laughter, a melody that filled the air with joy and mirth each time you managed to coax a chuckle from his lips, his touch that was a balm to your weary soul, a comforting embrace that chased away the shadows of doubt and fear.
But now, his eyes which were once filled with light and hope, stare back at you with a vacant emptiness that sends a chill through your soul. It's as if the essence of who he once was has been extinguished, replaced by something cold and alien.
You can’t recognise the hatred in his gaze at all.
You find yourself grappling with a torrent of conflicting emotions—disbelief, grief, fear. How could this happen? How could someone you loved so deeply be transformed into this unrecognizable entity before you?
“You’ll never see the light of another day!” he roared.
...
No...
No.
This isn’t him. This isn’t the man who enveloped you in his comforting arms all those nights ago when he noticed your distress. This isn’t the man who wove calming tales about ancient kings who became stars long ago so you would break a smile.
No... the person in front of you now was a cruel and bloodthirsty tyrant draped in the guise of the man you loved, poised to unleash his wrath upon the world.
But you refuse to let him succumb completely to the darkness. Deep down, you know that somewhere within him, the man you love still exists. You refuse to abandon him to the abyss, to let him be consumed entirely by the shadows that threaten to engulf him.
And with every ounce of strength you possess, you vow to fight for him, to bring him back from the abyss, no matter the cost.
“Let's go get him, guys!”
Masterlist
Tumblr media
if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!
237 notes · View notes
snowyquokka · 26 days
Text
Tumblr media
HOME
jeongin x fem reader
cw: angst (😈), breakup, kissing, swearing, mutual pining, mentions of cheating, kinda toxic/asshole seungmin (FORGIVE ME), not proof read bc why tf would i do that (im too lazy so my apologies if some of it doesn’t make sense lmfao-)
wc: 3.1k
a.n - so this is not how it was originally supposed to be 😭 it started as a seungmin fic but spiraled into whatever monstrosity this is lmao. everyone thank @solisyeah for the request ily. anywho i hope it’s good <3
❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥
Seungmin furrows his brows as he inspects the photo on his screen. A photo of you with another guy, in his lap with your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck.
Just like you do with Seungmin.
On the very couch he’s sitting on.
At first he thought it was edited, because there’s no way you’d cheat on him, right? But as he took a closer look he just knew it was real.
He was tired, sore, and downright miserable from a rough day at the studio; he had to take way too many breaks for his liking and this picture was just the thing he needed to send him right off the deep end.
He shot up from his spot on the couch so fast it made his head spin, but that didn’t deter him from storming into your bedroom where you were sitting on the bed, aimlessly scrolling through your phone. Once you see his face you can automatically sense something’s wrong.
“Seung?” You tilt your head as you watch him take your apartment key off of his key ring before placing it on your dresser with a clink.
“Seungmin what are you doing?” You jump off of your bed as he slides his shoes on. He runs his fingers through his hair with a frustrated huff.
“I don’t- I think we just need a break. I need a break.” These words were the last thing you imagined to ever come out of his mouth, in this context especially. Or lack there of.
“Wha- why?” Your eyes glaze over with unshed tears that threaten to spill at any given moment. You don’t want to cry in front of him, you’ve always hated having your raw emotions on display like that, especially in such a powerless situation. “Seungmin, talk to me. What the fuck is going on?”
“Don’t play dumb with me. I’m not stupid.” Seungmin shakes his head “Did you really think you could hide it from me?”
“Hide what, Seungmin?”
“You should’ve just fucking left me. Spared my feelings, maybe. But I guess you’re just too selfish for that.”
Without another word he rushes out of the room, leaving you in shambles with nothing else to do but slide to the floor, curl into yourself and let the sobs take over your body.
Seungmin can hear you crying before he even walks out of the front door, causing his heart to clench in his chest and his gut to twist. Standing with his hand just brushing the door handle, he has to physically force himself to press on, to let you go, to accept his reality. The door slams shut behind him and the noise only pushes you further towards the realization that this is actually happening. You aren’t hallucinating, this isn’t some fucked up fever dream or an even more fucked up prank.
You just wish you knew why. No matter how much you try to put the pieces together, you’re always missing something. You can’t think of anything that could’ve set him off. Everything was perfectly normal less than an hour ago, yet all it took was five minutes to trigger the downward spiral of what feels like the end of the world- the end of your world.
-
“What’re you doing back here?” Jeongin slides next to Seungmin - who is still eyeing up the picture on his screen - on the floor. Jeongin nods towards the phone, “What’s that?”
Seungmin huffs and leans his head against the wall behind him, “I honestly don’t fucking know, I don’t even really want to know, actually.”
Jeongin reaches for the phone, pulling it out of Seungmin’s grasp. His lips part in a silent ‘oh’ as he inspects the photo. He’s assuming Seungmin hadn’t even given you a chance to explain solely based on his reaction, in typical Seungmin fashion. Jeongin turns his body to face the other, his face set in an almost disappointed expression.
“I’m going to say this with the utmost respect and I need you to not cause me any bodily harm-” Jeongin sighs before continuing, “You’re a dumbass. Like the dumbest dumbass I think I’ve ever seen. Like paboracha level dumbass. I’m talking-”
“Are you done?” Seungmin groans and squeezes his eyes shut.
“Are you done? God- you just fucked yourself over. If I were you I’d start praying that she’ll still take you back after all this crazy shit.”
“How did I fuck myself oven when she’s the one cheating? Or am I supposed to just forget about that and take the blame for it all like usual? She brought another guy into the same place I spend almost all my time at, and probably fucked hi-” Jeongin slaps his hand over Seungmin’s mouth, effectively silencing him before he could carry on with his bullshit.
“Hyung. Shut up.” The maknae slowly pulls his hand away as Seungmin’s eyebrows shoot upward. “Look I get it, you’re tired, you’re upset, you’re angry bu-”
“Can you fucking blame me? I can’t unsee it. I mean, you see how comfortable she looked with him.” he clenches his fists.
“Will you keep your mouth closed already? You’re killing me here, got a massive migraine now.” Jeongin groans and rubs his temples as he speaks “That picture was taken over a year ago. Before you even knew she existed, hyung. Besides, I know her better than anyone ever will, other than you obviously, which is why I suggest that you get your ass up and go apologize for being such a dumb fuck. Beg for her forgiveness if you gotta. Maybe get on your knees while you’re at it.” he sighs and stands, holding his hand out to Seungmin before pulling him up.
“How do you know she isn’t lying to you? How do you know she isn’t lying about anything else?” Seungmin finally says.
“Because she loves you too much to do that to you. God, have you always been this dense? You seriously need to wake up and realize how stupid you sound.” Jeongin mocks, prompting Seungmin to glare at him one last time before walking out of the studio. All the while unbeknownst to the younger standing with a frown threatening to pull at the corners of his mouth.
“He’s a fucking idiot if he let’s her go over this,” he mutters begrudgingly while he listens to the soft pur of Seungmin’s car in the distance.
-
Almost a week later you’re still waking up with puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. The first thing you notice is Seungmin’s apartment key still sitting on the dresser untouched. Well, it used to be his. You were really hoping that it was all just a shitty nightmare and that you’d still be tucked in his side with his soft snores being the only sound to fill the room even though it’s days.
You realize what had stirred you awake as another knock fills the almost suffocating silence. You’re half tempted to just ignore it, but something in your gut tells you to answer it.
“Oh, uhm- hi Innie.” you wipe your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie. Or Seungmins hoodie, rather.
God you need to pull yourself together. How could you not even realize what you were wearing. Fuck.
“Hey,” Jeongin rocks back on his heels somewhat awkwardly, “Can I come in?”
You nod and mumble a soft ‘of course‘ as you move out of the way for him to slip past the threshold and into your apartment while you take a moment to collect yourself, and to put on the most convincing smile you can possibly muster.
“What’s up?” you find a spot on the couch next to him as he scans the room for a second, looking for any signs of whether or not Seungmin actually showed.
“He’s not here, is he?” Jeongin turns to you with sympathetic eyes, finding your own longing for comfort, seemingly pleading him for some sort of consolation.
“N-no but he’ll probably be back so-”
“He’s not coming back, y/n. If he was, it would’ve been days ago.”
Before you can open your mouth to protest, Jeongin has you pulled into his strong chest and tucks your head under his chin gently. “It’s okay, baby. I got you.” he sighs, rubbing small and slow circles on your back just the way he knows you like. He places a small, chaste kiss on the top of your head because he’s learned over the years that the action relaxes you and makes you feel secure.
Jeongin knows you like the back of his hand. Sometimes he thinks he knows you better than he knows himself. He knows your favorite food, your favorite season, your favorite movie. He knows how much you love to read, having periodically skimmed your shelves for books you may have and promptly buying you ones that you haven’t already buried your nose in.
Most importantly, he knows exactly what to say in order to subside your bad moods (he’s well seasoned in this field), and that sometimes you say things you don’t mean yet he never - and will never - hold that against you.
He knows just how much you loved Seungmin, not even wanting to imagine the amount of absolute heartbreak you’re feeling. Despite all this, he can’t help but feel somewhat relieved. You and Seungmin undoubtedly wouldn’t have worked in the long run and that’s exactly what you desire and deserve: a stable, long term relationship where you’d be taken care of and treated like the absolute goddess that Jeongin thinks you are.
He just wishes you give him a chance to treat you like his- more so than he already does now.
“Thank you, In,” you mumble into his chest.
“You don’t need thank me, baby. You know I’m always here.”
You did know that, you’ve always known that. Jeongin doesn’t let you doubt how much he cares for you, he’ll spend every waking moment reminding you if he has to.
You pull back slightly to look into his eyes. “I always end up burdening you with my problems.” Jeongin’s eyes soften at your apology and all he wants to do is hug and kiss and cuddle you until he thinks he’s convinced you enough of his adoration.
But for now all he can do is settle for words, though he can’t help but think it won’t be enough.
“Baby, please don’t be sorry for that. What kind of best friend would I be if I never listened to your complaints or rants?” Calling himself your best friend took more out of him than it should have and he tries to hide his hesitation. Thankfully you hadn’t noticed.
Hearing Jeongin say this makes you realize that he’s treated you better than any boyfriend you’ve ever had. Seungmin never reassured you like Jeongin does. Actually, now that you think about it, Seungmin didn’t do half of the things Jeongin does, even if it was the bare minimum.
He’s always like this, but why does it feel different now?
That’s just his personality, right? There isn’t any hidden meaning behind his words or gestures. Or the way he’s holding you and speaking to you like you’re the most precious thing he’s ever had contact with. The sudden urge to reach out and cup his face is unreal. You just want to make sure you aren’t hallucinating. You wonder how you managed to find such a perfect person who thinks the world of you just as much as you do them. Someone who loves you just as deeply and truly as you do.
Wait what?
You’ve singlehandedly scared and confused yourself all at once now. Obviously you love him and he does you, but it feels as though you love him in a different way. A special way, one that you don’t think you’ve ever felt for anyone. Not even Seungmin, who you once thought was hands down your soulmate.
What you failed to realize, however, was that your soulmate has been here the whole time, and he’s holding you in his arms like he never wants to let you go.
You cut off your train of thought because he doesn’t want you like that and you’re making assumptions that could get you hurt.
Too late.
Another wave of sadness that has nothing to do with what upset you earlier washes over you.
“Baby? Hey, where’d you go?” Baby. Fucking baby. He’s got to stop calling you that. You want to tell him to stop, so why can’t you open your mouth and form those simple words.
“Mhm, ’m okay.” You can’t even bring yourself to put the tiniest bit of distance between your bodies.
You mentally scream at yourself for sounding so noticeably pathetic. He must think you are how could he not when you’re making it so painfully obvious.
“Don’t hide from me, baby. You know you don’t need to hide anything from me.” How ironic.
“I’m not- I just-” you huff and lean your forehead against Jeongin’s chest. God, when did he get so…buff? Has he always been like this?
He pulls your head back to force your gaze to meet his. “What did I tell you, hm? Talk to me baby. I’m all ears.” His arms encircling your body is the last straw before the world comes crashing down on you.
Tears flood your vision and you aren’t even sure as to why you’re crying this time.
Pathetic and dramatic. Great.
Jeongin immediately thinks he’s overstepped now, he took it too far and made you uncomfortable. He removes his hands from you immediately though the action kills him inside, when in reality you want the exact opposite. You want him to pull you closer, you want your chest flush against his to the point where you can feel his heart beating.
“I’m sorry, Innie. I’m sorry.” You finally climb out of his grasp and step away from him. He follows you and with every step he takes forward you move backward until you collide with the wall.
“Why are you sorry when you didn’t do anything wrong? I don’t want you apologizing to me for no reason. If anyone should be apologizing it’s Seungmin, but it’s his fault and his loss, you know that.” You wish Jeongin would stop being so supportive, it’s making it ten times harder to ignore your surfacing issues.
“That’s not the problem, Jeongin.”
Since when did you call him by his full name?
“Then what is it? Is it me? Please I- I just want to help you.”
Your tears have finally halted and you couldn’t be more thankful. You need to be able to properly look into his eyes.
“You can’t help me.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
“Why are you being so difficult all of a sudden?”
“I’m not.” You cross your arms over your chest.
Jeongin blows out a frustrated huff. “Why can’t you tell me? Is it because Seungmin and I are friends becau-”
“I love you.”
“I know you do, which exactly is why you should be talking to me right now instead of bottling it all up-”
“No, Jeongin. I love you. Not in a friend way, not in a platonic way. I want to kiss you and hold you and-” You’ve worked yourself up so much you have cut yourself off in order to calm down.
Jeongin’s mouth stays agape for a solid five seconds before he even processes what you’ve said. “You love me?”
“Is that not what I just said?” Jeongin has to bite back his smile at your remark but quickly frowns again at the expression on your face. You look regretful, like you wish you never spoke. You’re just waiting for his rejection, willing it to come faster so you he’ll leave and you can wallow in self pity by yourself in the comfort of your bed. You disturbed the peace that was your friendship.
“I- the breakup is still fresh and you aren’t thinking straight, baby. Don’t say things you don’t mean.” Jeongin pleads. Is he trying to convince you or himself?
“But I do mean it Jeongin. I really do and I can’t believe it took me this fucking long to figure it out and I wish I’d never caught feelings because this is just a shit show now.”
He goes to speak but you quickly interrupt him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget about it,” you expect him to leave, or to at least move away. But he doesn’t, instead he leans in closer to your ear and whispers in a hushed tone,
“Didn’t I just tell you to stop apologizing, baby?” The way he says ‘baby’ sends shivers down your spine, it’s different than the other times he’s called you that. This time his words actually do have a hidden meaning. His breath ghosts the shell of your ear for a moment before he slowly pulls back to look at you. As if he hasn’t studied your every feature to the point where you’re engraved in his mind.
“You have to promise me that you actually understand what you’re saying and that it isn’t the post breakup neediness talking.” He looks at you sternly and fully expecting a response in words.
You, on the other hand, have absolutely no intention of speaking as you instead grab him by the collar of his hoodie before pressing your lips against his.
Kissing your best friend is much more intimate than you ever expected. He kisses you like it’s not the first time and with more than enough purpose. It starts off aggressive but soon simmers down into a delightfully slow and passionate rhythm and as cliche as it sounds, it’s in this moment that you finally know where you belong, where your home is.
No matter the circumstances, Jeongin always left a space for you in his heart. His subconscious wouldn’t let him fill it with someone else even if he wanted (which he didn’t), forever waiting for you to find the spot with your name written all over it and stay there for as long as you may live.
❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥
tags: @skzstarnet @godslino @myseungsunglove @seungseung-minmin @azuna-sz @chanyeolsrealwife
114 notes · View notes
nataliasquote · 3 months
Text
Ghost Of You | n romanoff
Tumblr media
Summary: learning to move on after Natasha’s sacrifice is the hardest thing in the world
Warnings: mentions of grief, loss, Natasha’s death
wc: 3.2k
note: this is an old fic I wrote ages ago, but I used to love it. I’ve given you enough fluff now anyway… also inspired by the song ‘Ghost of You’ by 5SOS.
- ⧗ -
Four months.
It'd been four months since she died.
Four months without Natasha.
And Y/n keep telling everyone she was fine, but there was a part of her that kept saying that her Natasha wasn’t really gone.
And it's the irrational part of her brain.
But she missed that redhead more than anyone knew.
Words couldn’t begin explain how much she missed her.
It was painful. It felt as though the world had come crashing down, plunging everything into total darkness. And when there was light, colour ceased to exist. Because what was a life without a purpose or reason to live?
Her sun. Gone.
Her home. Gone
Nothing left except harsh reminders of what could have been. There was no future anymore. Y/n spent her days in the past, tangled in memories that were wearing with age. A distorted version of her reality that became harder to grasp with every day that slipped by. The memories were slipping through her fingers, no matter how hard she tried.
Yelena was left to pick up the pieces her sister had left behind. A crumbled widow, her whole life a subject of loss, yet somehow she remained an iron fortress throughout it all. Y/n was family, something Yelena didn’t have much of, or knew much about, but she would be damned if anything happened to her now. She wasn’t sure she could handle another loss.
Y/n had taken residence in her spare room, the barren walls now burdened with grief. It settled across the floor like an unsettling blanket, smothering all who dared to step foot over the threshold.
But Yelena soldiered on. It was down to her to pull Y/n out of the pits she had crawled into in her mind, and today no different. The door creaked from lack of use, the room’s darkness only broken up by the light spilling around the old curtains. A body lay curled up in bed, but the blonde knew she was not asleep.
Against her instincts, Yelena made sure her boots were loud on the exposed floorboards, alerting the jumpy woman of her presence. She crouched slowly, a hand reaching out to land on Y/n’s knee softly.
"You ok?" She asked, receiving no movement or change of expression. Y/n’s eyes were heavy, but not with lack of sleep. This tiredness extended further than that; a tiredness of life. “Y/n, it’s me.”
A mumble came as a reply, which Yelena took as a positive. Some days received absolutely no recognition, so a sound or nod was progress.
“Any idea of what you want to do today?” She probed again, moving over to the curtains to draw them back slightly. Y/n winced at the light, another good sign. The outside air was cool and a welcome refreshment as the Russian pushed the rusty window open a fraction.
“Bed and sleep,” came the reply. A possible plan, yes, but not exactly what Yelena was thinking.
“How about we go somewhere today?” Y/n didn’t look convinced. “Natasha would want you to, you know that.”
“Don’t say her name!” Y/n cried, her voice breaking from lack of use and raw emotion. She refused to mention Natasha anymore, too afraid of what was lying just below the surface if she did.
But something had switched in Yelena overnight, and she turned around quickly. “She was my sister. I have every right to say her name Y/n.” That was clearly the wrong thing to say, but what did she know? Yelena had barely been out of the Red Room for two years. Social cues weren’t a strong suit. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean to. I just know she wouldn’t want you moping around grieving her like this. She would want you to go out and live your life. See the world.”
"How can I see the world when she was my world." Y/n whispered, tears rolling down her cheeks and soaking into her pillow. "I loved her but never got to show her properly. There is so much more I could have done for her. If I'd just had more time." Yelena crouched down and helped her sit up, offering a tissue to clean herself up a bit.
"I have a suggestion for you. I was talking to Wanda yesterday and we think it might be a good idea if you go back there."
Y/n looked up at her with red and puffy eyes. “Back where?”
“Back home, Y/n. The apartment that you and Natasha shared. You’ve still got lots of your stuff there and I’m sure there’s some things of hers you want.”
Y/n had stopped listening at the word ‘home’. Home wasn’t a place, it never had been. It was a feeling. A person. Y/n would never be able to go home anymore. An empty apartment ridden with memories wasn’t somewhere she wanted to be. Not without Natasha to breathe life into those four walls. Without her it was just dark. Lifeless.
Just like how she felt right now.
Yet her response was surprising. An “ok” tumbled past her lips before she could even register what she was saying, taking both her and Yelena by surprise. She leaned against the wall and pulled her knees up to her chest, staring at a dark spot on the duvet cover.
“Ok? I’ll be there the whole time, don’t worry. How about I give you some time to get ready and I’ll meet you out by the truck?” Y/n nodded, her eyes not moving, and Yelena took that as her cue to leave.
A shower felt like too much work, so Y/n dragged her hair into a ponytail and let it hang limply, too exhausted to try and do anything with it. The yellowing light in the bathroom only emphasised her dark circles and she eyed her make up bag that sat balanced on the edge of the sink.
Concealer barely helped, as did mascara, but Y/n tried all the same, almost willing herself to look better. If Natasha saw her in this state she would have crumbled, but she wasn’t there so Y/n couldn’t find it within her to care.
Placing her mascara back in the bag, her fingertips brushed over a familiar tube. She pulled it out and stared at it carefully, the writing old and faded on the packaging. But there was no mistaking Natasha’s favourite red lipstick. She refused to use any other shade and it always looked so vibrant against her pale skin. But looking at it now, it just looked so dull.
Y/n pressed her lips to it gently and slipped it into her pocket, where it nestled alongside a folded photograph and a promise ring.
Natasha’s promise ring. The one she used to wear alongside her wedding ring. The wedding ring that matched the one currently strung around her neck, too obnoxious to stay on her finger now.
Their key to everlasting happiness.
But what good was a key on its own? Useless without its matching component, a harsh reminder of what could have been but never will be.
Yelena was sat in the back seat of the truck with Fanny, giving the Akita belly rubs which he clearly loved. She looked up at Y/n and smiled, climbing through to settle into the drivers seat. “Fanny doesn’t know the meaning of stay yet, so I’ll bring him along. But he won’t come inside.”
Y/n nodded, and placed her elbow on the window edge, her cheek falling into her palm. The gentle hum of the engine combined with the smoothness of the road pulled her back into her head, memories swirling around but never fully making themselves known. Y/n was in the muddy middle ground, somewhere between numbness and a breakdown.
After an hour the car came to a stop. She knew this parking lot. Knew which space Nat always kept her bike in. She was always so particular.
Holding the key tightly in her fist, Y/n ascended the metal stairs, ignoring the way the rough edges of the key dug into her skin and left an imprint. She knew how to wiggle it into the lock just enough to get it to turn, muscle memory taking over.
As she opened the door, the living room was dark. A light layer of dust covered all the surfaces from the lack of use, and small slits of lights peaked through the closed curtains. There were books piled on the table and a couple of old beer bottles stranded on the floor. Y/n looked around in a daze, completely absorbed by the change of atmosphere. This place used to be so full of life. But now it was dull and barren.
Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes glanced to the floor. By the door, like they'd just been taken off, was Nat's pair of old converse. They were once black, but now sported a dark grey colour, having been worn so often. She wore them everywhere when she wasn't working.
Y/n bent down and picked them up, looping the laces over her fingers so she could easily carry them with her. The kitchen door was open, so she carried on walking, almost in a trance. Yelena hadn’t entered yet, wanting to give her some privacy in her old home.
The kitchen was brighter as the blinds were open, and everything was just as they had left it. A pile of clean dishes on the rack, just waiting to be put away. Nat's collection of weird keychains that she collected from every place she visited. A pile of hair ties and bobby pins that always disappeared. But most importantly, the fridge.
It was used more like their main photo album. Photos covered the silver metal, miscellaneous magnets holding photos of the couple onto it. There was a picture of Nat kissing Y/n on the beach, the first date we ever went on as an official couple. Even in the one captured moment, you could see how tender Natasha was, cupping Y/n’a face with her rough palms like she was a priceless jewel. Looking at it, she could still feel her touch.
There were a few candid ones from their trip to Europe and even some from their wedding day. But the one in the middle made her heart ache.
Nat laying on a picnic blanket in the park, her hair pulled back in a half up messy braid. She was lying on her stomach with a book open out in front of her, legs bent up behind her with those damn converse on her feet. She had the biggest smile on her face and she was laughing into the camera. Y/n remembered that day so vividly and she started to cry. She could never feel that way again, so happy, so relaxed.
"Damn it!” She yelled, slamming her hand onto the counter and taking a shaky breath in.
"Y/N?" a voice questioned, breaking her out of her mini outburst. Y/n quickly turned around to find the source of the voice, which was coming from the door way. The shoes fell out of her hand as she layed eyes upon the woman stood in the doorway.
Red hair was the first thing Y/n noticed.
Arms wide. A big smile on her face.
Not wasting any time, she ran into her open arms and felt herself being picked up, bodies spinning around like they always used to do. Both women were both giggling and smiling at each other, tears running down their faces.
"Oh my god you're actually here! I thought you left me" Y/n cried, grabbing onto Natasha’s face and planting kisses everywhere. Her nose, cheeks, jaw, everywhere she had missed being able to feel beneath her fingertips suddenly felt so real and she could sense the weight being lifted off her chest. It just felt right.
"I would never leave you baby." Natasha said, before their lips met in a bruising kiss.
"I knew you wouldn't. I knew you'd come back for me!" Y/n couldn’t help but laugh against her lips, the worry and sadness leaving her body, making her lighter. There were truly no words to describe it, but feeling Natasha’s lips on hers and her green eyes bringing so much warmth and safety into her body, Y/n never wanted to leave again.
Music started playing softly and Nat looked at the girl in her arms. "Can I have this dance, my beautiful wife?" She wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist, who placed hers loosely around her neck as they started to sway. She didn't know where the music was coming from, but she didn't care. All thst was in her brain was the fact that she was here with Natasha. Finally.
They danced to the music, waltzing around the kitchen, eyes fixated on each other. Y/n felt as giddy as she did when they shared their first kiss, her hands feeling the way Natasha’s hair was so soft as it brushed her fingertips. The way her hands felt on her body gave Y/n a sense of relief and she sighed, resting her head on Natasha’s shoulder. She leaned her head on top of her wife’s and wrapped her arms tighter around her waist, still swaying to the beat. They fit together so perfectly, like a key in a lock.
"I've missed this." Y/n muttered into Natasha’s neck who hummed in agreement.
"Me too" she husked. God, that voice. She’d missed that too.
As the song picked up, Nat released Y/n from her arms and spun her around, twirling her around the floor like a ballerina. The redhead scooped her up in her arms and spun around, their laughter filling the once empty room. Y/n was taller than Natasha when Nat picked her up, so she gazed down at her and grinned, the same look adorning both of their faces. Love. Admiration. Relief.
As Natasha slowly lowered Y/n to the ground, they met each other with another kiss. The song slowly faded away in the background and they gradually stopped moving, but stayed in each other's arms.
"I see you found my converse?" Natasha pointed out, and Y/n turned around to see where she was looking.
"Oh yeah. I picked them up because I didn't know you were here." She couldn’t help but blush.
Natasha bent down and picked them up, handing them back over with a soft look in her eyes. "You keep them. They look better on you anyway." She said, flashing her signature smile.
"Are you sure?" Y/n asked, her brows creasing in the middle. “These were your favourite shoes!"
"I can always get some more if I need them."
Y/n looped the laces around her fingers once more and pulled Nat into another hug, just breathing in her scent. There was no perfume to distract her, just purely Natasha. Tears started rolling down her cheeks as the familiar scent she knew and loved filled her nose. The smell of home.
They finally pulled away and Natasha took a couple of steps back, leaning on the door frame as she had done previously.
"You know I love you Y/N. I always have and I always will. Don't you ever forget that." She said, folding her arms and smiling at the woman in front of her.
"I love you too,” Y/n whispered and Natasha blew her a kiss.
"Y/n?" Another voice called from behind her. It was Yelena this time, the blonde having waited for long enough outside. She placed a hand on Y/n’s shoulder and followed her gaze to where Natasha had been stood.
"I love you" Y/n muttered again, tears streaming down her face.
"Y/n who are you talking to?" Yelena asked, worry lacing her words.
"Nat. She's right there." She said, pointing to Natasha in the doorway.
"What? Detka, Nat's not here. What are you talking about?" Yelena asked. Y/n turned around to face her and then looked back to where Natasha was standing.
Or where she was standing. Except now that spot was empty.
She wasn’t there.
"She was there! She was just there! No!" The girl was in distress, shouting and crying as she ran around, checking everywhere in the apartment.
"Y/n what's going on?" Yelena asked hesitantly, her concerned increasing by the second. What had she missed?
“She’s gone! Nat left! She left me again! No, she promised she wouldn’t leave me again.” She was a sobbing mess, collapsing to her knees in the middle of the apartment, no longer caring about the dust that thickly coated the floor. Yelena rushed to her side and knelt down, pulling her into a hug. She rocked the sobbing girl gently, tightening her grip as she felt Y/n clutch at her shirt to ground herself. She was muttering frantically, incoherent sentences flowing into each other.
"Y/n, Nat's gone. She isn't coming back." It was harsh, but Yelena had to say it. The truth stung.
"She was just here." Y/n whimpered. "We danced together. I felt her. She was real!"
"Oh Y/n. That wasn’t real."
"It was real to me!" She pressed her head back into Yelena’s shoulder and continued to cry, laboured breaths dragging themselves through her constricted lungs, clawing at her insides and almost begging to break through her chest.
And the whole time those stupid converse were in her hand.
She never let them go.
They were the last thing Y/n ever got from her.
The only thing close enough to serve as a final reminder.
Of Nat.
Her Nat.
Natasha Romanoff.
Daughter. Sister. Avenger.
Wife.
115 notes · View notes
Note
that’s okay, I’ll change my request from this: Sejanus x coriolanus angst where instead of Sejanus being hanged he finds out coryo betrayed him in the worst way possible (kind of like a hurt no comfort thing but Sejanus is hurt because coryo betrayed him) to Sejanus x reader. Could it be the same concept but instead of character on character is Sejanus with reader please?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Betrayal | Sejanus Plinth
Pairing: Sejanus Plinth x fem!reader
Summary: After Coriolanus betrayed him once again, he seeks comfort from the person that will forever be by his side.
Warning/s: angst, hurt/somfort, heartbreak, Coryo is a warning itself, sadness, betrayal, revenge, a bit of fluff (just a bit), possible grammar and spelling mistakes
Author's note: This took way to long, I'm sorry. Enjoy.
Tumblr media
The air in the Capitol was thick with tension, and Sejanus Plinth felt it wrap around him like a suffocating shroud. Coriolanus Snow, his once-trusted friend, had betrayed him in the worst way possible. The details were etched into Sejanus's mind, the whispered conversations, the clandestine meetings, the secrets that had unraveled their bond.
"Sejanus." Coriolanus had said, his voice honeyed and treacherous. "This is for the greater good. For our future."
But Sejanus knew better.
The greater good was a veil for ambition, and Coriolanus had torn it away to reveal the darkness beneath. He had sold out their cause, their shared dreams, for power and privilege. And in doing so, he had shattered Sejanus's heart.
The night after the betrayal, Sejanus wandered the empty streets of the Capitol. The moon hung low, casting shadows on the cobblestones. He felt lost, adrift in a sea of broken promises. The weight of it threatened to crush him.
And then he saw you.
You stood there, a beacon of warmth in the cold night. Your eyes met his and something shifted within him. You were a fellow rebel, a fighter who had also tasted betrayal. Your presence was a balm to his wounded soul.
"Sejanus." you said softly, reaching out to touch his cheek. "I'm here."
He didn't need to say anything. You understood. Your arms wrapped around him, pulling him close. The tears he had held back spilled over, and you held him tighter. In that moment, Sejanus realized that maybe, just maybe, there was still hope.
°
Days turned into weeks and Sejanus sought solace in your company. You didn't ask questions, didn't demand explanations. Instead, you listened. You held him when the nightmares came, when the memories of Coriolanus's betrayal clawed at his mind.
"Why?" Sejanus whispered one night, his fingers tracing the scars on your skin. "Why did he do it?"
You didn't have an answer. But you stayed with him, your heartbeat a steady rhythm against his chest. Sometimes, comfort came not in words, but in shared silence. You were his refuge, the one who didn't judge, who didn't expect him to be anything other than broken.
°
As the rebellion gathered strength, Sejanus found purpose once more. He fought alongside you, fueled by anger and determination. But he never forgot Coriolanus's face, the face of betrayal. The whispers in the shadows haunted him, but you were there to chase them away.
"We'll bring him down." you promised one night, your fingers laced with his. "Together."
And so, you both plotted. Secrets exchanged, plans made. Sejanus knew that revenge wouldn't heal his heart, but it was a start. Coriolanus would pay for what he had done.
°
When the day of reckoning arrived, Sejanus faced Coriolanus across the battlefield. Their eyes locked and Sejanus saw regret in Coriolanus's gaze. But it was too late. The damage was done.
"Sejanus." Coriolanus said, his voice raw. "I'm sorry."
Sejanus raised his sword.
"Sorry won't change anything."
And then it was over. Coriolanus fell, defeated. But Sejanus didn't feel triumph. He felt hollow, empty. Revenge hadn't filled the void. Only you could do that.
°
In the aftermath, you found Sejanus sitting alone, staring at the horizon. The Capitol was in chaos, but he didn't care. You sat beside him, your presence a lifeline.
"I thought revenge would heal me." Sejanus admitted. "But it didn't."
"Love will." you said, your fingers entwined with his. "Love and time."
And so, in the ruins of betrayal, something new blossomed. Whispers of love, fragile and tentative. Sejanus leaned into your touch, and for the first time, he dared to hope.
->
->
->
TAGLIST
@randomgurl2326 @caroline-books @hellonheels-x @jehjehstyle @runningfrom2am @thecrowdedstreetin1944
134 notes · View notes
cillianmesoftlyyy · 4 months
Text
I Can Fix That... Pt. 2 | Jonathan Crane x fem!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
author's note: I decided to make a pt. 2 purely for my own enjoyment, though I hope there are others out there as sadistic as myself. I finally watched the Batman trilogy and did research on DC fan pages to write this. It follows the plot of Nolan's DC adaptation so all characters mentioned (like Ra's Al Ghul) are from the comics and movies.
Summary| She gave into Crane because she needed to survive, at least that's what she's tried to tell herself, but there was something about this man that just felt so painfully... right. Now Crane has a proposition and he doesn't intend to take no for an answer because he's starting to like her -- uh oh-- too much. Where will their new agreement lead them when Gotham devolves into chaos?
Warnings| Based on an DC action movie- drugging, slut shaming, fear and terror, dubious kidnapping, restraints, drugs, physical violence, spitting, toxic relationship, mentions of a gun, chaos, and needles. I know- it's a lot.
word count: 8596k (lol oopsies?)
Wires- The Neighborhood 🎶
Where did you sleep last night- Iridium, Salazar, Liam Marks 🎵
Caesar on a TV Screen- The Last Dinner Party 🎶
The detective nodded her head, surprised that she’d so easily forgotten her plan. Dr. Crane sniffed and spun his set of keys around his finger casually. 
“Now the best thing about being the creator of my fear serum,” he started, moving to the shelf of vials he had previously sorted, “is that I have an endless supply and every opportunity to use it whenever I want.” She could hear him smile but she could no longer see him. Crane admittedly liked the girl and he’d fucked her as a minor pivot in his original plan for the night. Now, it was time for business. He pulled a dish of powder from a locked drawer and hid it away from sight as he crossed back into the girl’s view. “You may think you understand what my serum can do, but you’ll never truly know until you try it.” She furrowed her brow and shook her head, wishing that she could back away from him but she couldn’t move. He changed the subject swiftly, not giving her a moment. 
“I applaud you for your performance tonight. I was more than willing to humor you and of course, your present state did you many favors. I like my women tied down…” he joked and chuckled darkly. “But now, we need to get practical.” He removed his glasses and folded them slowly. He slipped them into his breast pocket. “You know too much, Miss —, and we both know that your current allegiance to your job would prioritize a crude sense of justice over your affection for me. We can’t have that, can we? So, I’d like to propose a solution or a treatment of sorts.” He clenched his jaw, angling his head down so that he was looking up at her through his eyelashes. “You’ve already proven to yourself tonight that the mind has complete control over the body. Desire rules judgment… and I want to rule you.” He smiled darkly. Before she could speak, powder was thrown into her face, blocking every orifice with a sickening gas. 
The anxiety was immediate. She saw strange creatures approach her from all sides, poking and prodding her with dirty nails. She saw the walls leak a disgusting fluid, like blood and fecal matter and it spilled over the floor. People sorted through the liquid for scraps, children screamed and cried around her. She’d been one of those children, raised in an orphanage because her parents couldn’t afford to keep her. Strange men swarmed the children, offering toxic treats and money for favors which the children shied away from. She screamed, pulling at her restraints as she tried to fight off the assailants. She shook her head violently side to side, and she screamed involuntarily with raw terror at what she saw. In the midst of a nightmare of Gotham’s poverty and dark underbelly, Dr. Jonathan Crane stood calmly before her. He watched her, his arms crossed against his chest. He cocked his head to the side. 
“What do you see,” he asked calmly. She turned her attention to him like he was a beacon of light in a horrible storm. 
“Jonathan, help me!” She cried. 
“Tell me what you see,” he said again and clucked his tongue to calm her. She looked around again at the people she saw, rummaging through mountains of trash. 
“Horrible… horrible poverty. The things… the things I saw as a child. People starving, children crying…” she whimpered. Rats scrambled across her body and she screamed again, shaking against the table. “Jonathan, please!” She called for him and he waded towards her, oblivious to the horror around him. He stood above her and stroked her face. He removed the restraints from her waist and her wrists and helped her sit up. The things she saw darted out of her peripheral vision, distorted now and hard to understand. She couldn’t run because she couldn’t tell where she was anymore, where her body was in relation to her perspective. Did she even still have a body?
Dr. Crane grunted as he helped her off the table and held her up beside him. She fainted in his arms and he carried her out of the secondary lab into the corridor. He punched the elevator’s call button with his free hand and dragged her inside. As the large steel doors closed, he fished for his cellphone in his pocket and called his driver, telling him to meet him outside the hospital immediately. Crane hushed her, gently patting her head though she was still unconscious. The elevator dropped them at the floor she’d entered on originally and Crane carried her to the side door, ignoring the looks the night attendants gave the strange couple. A sleek black car waited outside in the alley, the engine running and dispelling smoky exhaust into the air around them. Crane opened the car door and helped her inside, smirking at the security guard at the door. 
“Our meeting was successful, thank you officer.” He waved goodnight to the security guard who shifted awkwardly in his seat at the side door. Climbing in after her, Crane leaned over the console to speak with his driver. 
“My apartment, please.” He gave the order sternly, even with the addition of the ‘please,’ and the driver nodded, speeding off into Gotham’s dark streets. His hand rested comfortably on her thigh as he watched her. She started to come to in the backseat, though the effects of the drug had still not worn off. Her breath was fast and she leaned deliriously into Crane’s shoulder, seeking protection from what she saw outside the tinted windows. She was so afraid that she felt safer in the arms of the man that had drugged her, and it would take hours to realize that, but by the time she did, the psychological effects would have already taken root. 
ii 
The car stopped outside of a dark apartment building in one of the only nice parts of town in Gotham city. It was raining as he helped her back out of the car and into the large lobby of his apartment building. She clung to his arm as he led her into an elevator, playing a soft melody that sounded like shrill screams to her intoxicated mind. As the elevator doors opened, effects of the drug began to wane though her heartbeat was still racing. She looked up at Crane’s sharp jaw and how he clenched it as he opened the door to his apartment and pushed her gently inside. 
“I pay my people extra to turn a blind eye to everything that I do. I understand these circumstances appear even more nefarious, being that I have admittedly drugged you and brought you to my apartment. What can I say, I’m a bad feminist.” He smiled darkly and locked the door. 
“When do I stop seeing… these things?” She collapsed into a chair behind her and cradled her head in her hands. 
“The effects will be gone in an hour,” he responded coolly and switched on some of the lights in his modern apartment. The apartment was two stories with a spiral staircase and an elevator that led to the upstairs. She looked around, trying her best to ignore the hallucinations and study the actual apartment itself. 
“You’ll be disappointed to know that I don’t have a lab here, it’s against the building’s codes. I spend very little time here actually, I’m always at Arkham or dealing with detectives… like you. I’m a busy man. Like I already told you, I have plans to ‘treat’ Falcone tomorrow so I’ll need that room free. This is the next best option and I think you’ll find it more comfortable in comparison.” He smirked and flicked a switch, immediately two restraints looped tightly around her wrists, emerging from a panel in the arms of the chair that she hadn’t noticed. Second restraints looped around her ankles, reminding her as her ankles were spread apart that he had removed her underwear. She turned her knees inward, hiding her crotch and scoffing with frustration. 
“Again?” She groaned and pulled at the strong leather material holding her to the chair. 
“You sound disappointed,” Crane observed with a small smirk. “It’s only temporary. I didn’t get a chance to question you back at the lab, so we’ll do that here.” He gestured to his empty apartment and started to walk toward her slowly. His lips curled cruelly as he looked her up and down, strapped to the chair. “So tell me, what do you know?” He whispered and she stopped struggling for a moment. She still felt jumpy and nervous but having him so close relieved some of those feelings. The effects of the drug wore off more but the underlying sense of anxiety and loss of control prompted her to answer honestly.
I know that you are trying to make a powerful drug that mimics fear and so far, you’ve put it in a powder form. It works when ingested in some ways and immediately elicits a response that incapacitates the victim. You want to use it widely, to control Gotham…”
“Right, what else.” He leaned on the arms of the chair, his hands grasped around her wrists. 
“You don’t work for Falcone but you work with someone else. You’ve just been using Falcone’s drug operation to move your own prototypes of the fear serum. You want to be in charge and you know that fear can do whatever you want it to. The mind controls the body,” she recalled a sentence that he had used before he had thrown the powder in her face. “You’re also somehow connected to the missing micro-wave emmitter. I don’t know why but it may help you in some way, how?” She was breathing heavily like she was going to fall asleep. 
“Good work, detective.” 
“What are you using the micro-wave emitter for?” She asked. He chuckled and removed his hands from her wrists, backing up. He approached a small liquor cart and poured himself a drink, straight gin. She continued as he drank. 
“Who are you working with and how do you expect to control Gotham when everyone loses their minds?” She could barely contain her voice, anger and confusion rose into her throat like bile. 
“So many questions…” he swallowed and set down his glass, turning back to her slowly. “Aren’t you supposed to figure that out for yourself?” He raised his eyebrow. 
“The mirco-wave emitter would dry out any water supply that it comes into contact with. Wouldn’t it be easier to poison the water supply, you would reach more people… unless it doesn’t have the same effect when administered in water.” She looked up at him but his face was hard. “That’s why you’ve been using it in a powder, it only works in a powder form. If you dry up the water supply and release the powder into the air, there isn’t a way to combat the effects, is there?” 
Crane smiled and nodded slowly, “right again.” 
“How can you control people who have lost their minds on the serum? You can’t control chaos.” She furrowed her brow and leaned forward, questioning him. Crane cocked his head and studied her for a moment, noticing the last traces of the fear serum leaving her body. 
“Control has many forms, Y/N. The chaos that will come from my serum is planned, its existence is strategically executed.”
“But why are you doing this?” 
“I love it when you get flustered,” he chuckled darkly at her and licked his lips, his eyes rolling before returning to her face. “It’s not just me, I work for a large organization that has been responsible for all historical catastrophes throughout history. We deal in balance, balanced chaos. They hired me because I can control fear, I know how to use it and weaponize it. Gotham needs to be balanced and it cannot be balanced without it first destroying itself. Create a closed environment with the population’s problems and confront them with chaos, the balance will soon be restored.” 
“Who do you work for?” She whispered, her eyes wide. 
“Don’t you mean, who do we work for?” He crouched at her feet and placed his hands on her thighs. He smiled crazily up at her and she leaned away from him. 
“What?” She whispered. 
“I work for the League of Shadows, and now, so do you.” He dug his finger into the soft bottom of her chin and pushed her head up so that she could see the second floor more clearly. 
Standing at the rail were men clad in dark armor. One man stood out from the rest. He wore a black suit and carried a gold-tipped cane. He had long whiskers of gray hair like a mustache and steady cool eyes, deadlier than Crane’s.  
“Good work, Dr. Crane.” The man kept his focus on her and her blood went cold. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Miss —. We’ve heard so much about you and of course, you’re the one that has caused us so much trouble!” He laughed sarcastically and descended the spiral staircase. 
“Who are you?” She growled. 
“Ra’s Al Ghul,” he smiled and the wrinkles on his face creased, pulling against his eyes. “I see you’ve already become acquainted with Dr. Crane, our very own criminal mastermind.”
“You’re too kind,” Crane smarted back, watching the girl’s face as she tried to take in all of the new information. 
“Now, I have a job proposition to offer you, Miss —. You seem to have figured most of our plan out but I don’t think you understand the complexity of our organization. You see, the League of Shadows is an ancient organization that has balanced the harmony of every major city in the world since the beginning of time. Gotham has gone bad, to the point of no return. Your ‘Batman’ as you call him can’t reverse what has been brewing for years. He never saw what you did, how the people of Gotham live in filth and poverty while the elite few enjoy the spoils. This city needs to be reborn, it needs chaos to restore the balance.”
“But wouldn’t you be killing thousands of innocent people?” She interjected and Al Ghul shrugged slightly. 
“Nobody’s innocent,” he answered quickly and then inhaled, clarifying, “Anyway, that’s not what we want to do here. If we take control of the city and hold it for ransom, we can work out a deal to replace the crooked government with some of our people. I’m offering you a role alongside my people. You’re smart, all that evidence you collected against Crane- none of the senior officers could have held a match to it. We destroyed it of course, as soon as Crane told us about your little visit.” She looked past Al Ghul to Crane who leaned against the wall calmly. Had they destroyed the copies? How could she be sure that they were telling the truth? “The box of evidence you had put aside for Sgt. Gordon was the hardest to find but we found it. What made you suspect Dr. Crane? Was it a gut instinct?” He drew on before she interrupted him. 
“You want me to help you kill people?” She furrowed her brow and nearly laughed in disbelief. 
“We want your help to save Gotham from itself and establish a new and better government.” He corrected, fixing his posture. Crane watched her closely and spoke up from the back of the room. 
“She’ll do it,” he answered and she opened her mouth to interject but his smirk silenced her. “She’ll do it because whether or not she wants to admit it, Miss —, is like us.” Crane reached into his breast pocket and removed his glasses. He cleaned the panels with a dish towel and pushed them onto his nose. She looked between Crane and Al Ghul, her heart beating quickly in her chest. 
“Will you join us, will you help us save Gotham?” Ra’s Al Ghul placed both of his hands on top of his walking stick and shifted his weight evenly between his feet. Crane folded his arms across his chest and cocked his head to the side, a knowing smile played on his wide pink lips. Her decision surprised her but the serum had already changed her chemistry, Crane had revealed her true self to herself and there was only one choice left. 
“Yes,” she whispered. 
Crane nodded, “good girl.” 
iii 
She was released from her restraints and she rubbed her wrists where the leather marked them. Ra’s Al Ghul snapped his fingers and a map was rolled out on Crane’s dining room table. The map was of the entire city of Gotham, showing the sewer and water lines. They explained the plan, showing her where the micro-wave emitter would be placed in the city and how it would be moved through each neighborhood. 
“What about the police?” She asked and gestured to the map of the city. Crane laughed and shook his head. 
“You were the only cop that suspected this, the rest will have no idea until it's already started. The person we really need to worry about is Batman,” he ran his fingers through his hair and glanced up at Al Ghul, “luckily for him, an old friend is coming by to visit.” Al Ghul nodded and smiled kindly at her. 
“Batman and I go way back. I’ll take care of him.” 
“What am I supposed to do?” She asked, her arms crossed beneath her breasts. Crane caught himself staring and cleared his throat. 
“You’ll help me with the production of the powder, ensuring that your cop friends don’t figure out too much and keeping Sgt. Gordon away from Arkham or leading him astray… anything,” Crane answered, setting his face as he spoke. She nodded. 
Though they had asked her to join their efforts, they also obviously didn’t trust her completely. They wouldn’t tell her everything, she knew. Her night had gone in a completely different direction than how she had imagined it. Everything had changed after the fear serum, it had shown her that what she feared most had already happened. The police were corrupt, run by small-time gangsters and criminals and crime continued to run rampant as the state lost more and more money, forcing social service organizations to close and more families out on the streets. This whole time she thought that the police could solve the problem but they only caused it. Crane was right, she was like him and she would do anything she could to change the city. After the meeting, Crane poured her a drink and dissolved a packet of powder into the liquor. He stirred it in front of her and Al Ghul before sliding it across the table’s surface. 
“This will put you to sleep for a few hours, twelve at most. It’s only a precaution to make sure that you have truly promised your allegiance to us. Everything that you say will be monitored from this point on.”
“Everything?” She looked at Crane who clenched his jaw, a faint tease of blush spread on his cheeks.
“Everything. Do as we say and follow our rules and you stay alive,” Crane finished and tapped the rim of the glass. “Now drink.” 
“How do I know that you aren’t just poisoning me?” She asked the men around her.
“We’re learning to trust each other, but you have to go first.” He smiled and when Al Ghul said nothing, she took the glass and drank it slowly. The last thing she saw were Crane’s eyes, set perfectly on her. 
She was conscious enough to set her glass down before falling back onto the couch. Crane approached her quickly and checked her pulse, monitoring her reaction to the drug. 
“Did it work?” Ra’s Al Ghul asked behind him and he nodded. 
“Yes, she’s out. Because of all the drugs in her system already, this one may take longer to wear off.” 
“All the other drugs?” Al Ghul raised his eyebrow and Crane chuckled. 
“I couldn’t help myself and besides,” he turned to Al Ghul, “you wanted her alive.” 
“I’m not convinced that we can trust her,” Al Ghul shook his head and pointed at the map for his men to clean up. 
“Oh, I’ll make sure we can.” 
“With your mind tricks?” Al Ghul teased and Crane sighed, rolling his beautiful eyes. 
“Don’t insult me, Ra’s. I know what I’m doing.” He warned the man calmly and nodded to the men. Two men helped carry her body as Crane led them back down the elevator into the lobby which was deserted at that time in the early morning. They climbed into Crane’s waiting car and pulled away from the curb. The girl’s body was limp against the seat and Crane resisted the urge to stare at her, fascinated by her sleeping body. The men carried her up to her apartment on the third floor of a small walkup. Crane rummaged through her coat pockets for the key into her apartment and unlocked the door. 
Her apartment was small and cozy, furnished with minimal couches and chairs. Books and art decorated the walls. Crane pushed through the door and directed the men to lie her down in her bedroom, the small room off of the main living area. They men looked back at him expectantly as he stood by the doorway, watching her sleep. He rolled his eyes and shooed them away. What did they think he was going to do? He’d already fucked her. Alone in her apartment, he stood by her bed and stroked her cheek. She slept on, engulfed by unconscious darkness. He leaned over her slowly and grasped her throat gently, exhaling across her face. He said nothing but looked her up and down and smirked, pleased at the sight of her. He’d won another spoil: her. 
 She woke up in her bed, twisted in the sheets as if she had been restless all night. She was sweaty and hot, the air stuffy around her. Crane and Al Ghul were nowhere to be seen. She checked her watch and hurried out of bed, stripping off her clothes from the night before and into black trousers and a dark blue sweater. She stumbled into the living room and wound her hair up into a claw clip, moving towards the door when a voice startled her. 
“Where do you think you’re going?” Dr. Crane spoke from the couch. He was in a fresh suit and looked well-rested. He was taking notes in a file on Falcone, his briefcase sat on the coffee table in front of him. She jumped, gasping from shock. 
“Jesus Christ, what are you doing here?” 
“I was waiting for you to wake up. We have work to do today. That bitch at the DA’s office wants to speak with me. I'm supposed to meet with her this afternoon. She’s questioning Falcone’s transfer.”
“I ordered the transfer after you did Falcone’s interview, maybe I could meet with her instead.” 
“No, I need you to take this file to the judge on Falcone’s case. I can handle her questions.” He stood and held out Falcone’s file. “I already gave my statement at the hearing but this file will confirm my medical opinion, hopefully that will get her off my back.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. 
“Do you think Falcone will talk if she speaks with him?” 
“Possibly,” he bent his head side to side and shrugged, “but we aren’t going to find out. Let’s go,” he snapped his briefcase closed and made for the front door. She glanced from the couch to her bedroom.
“Were you watching me all night?” She flushed angrily and followed him. He closed the door suddenly and spun her around, forcing her back against the front door. 
“I can only say this once because they aren’t listening now but as soon as we get in the car, they’ll be monitoring you. I am keeping you alive, Miss —. I will do everything in my power to keep you alive but the second you step away from me, you’re on your own. I know we have an understanding so believe me when I say that I would prefer very much if you didn’t die. Follow my directions because they’re following you.” He said in a harsh whisper, a strand of hair falling into his face. They stared at each other in silence, exchanging breath when he kissed her harshly. She wrapped her arms around his neck and moaned softly against his lips. He bucked into her hips and she gasped softly against his jaw. And just as quickly, he pulled away, breathing heavily and led her out the door and down the stairs into the waiting car. 
“I’ll need my gun back,” she pointed out as they settled on the backseat. Crane sighed, unbuttoning his suit jacket. He opened a small compartment in the car door and retrieved her gun. As he held it out, he took her jaw in his other hand, his thumb pressing into her fleshy cheek. 
“This is where that trust would come in handy, detective.” He whispered darkly. She looked at his lips and then up to his eyes, speechless around him. He watched her struggle for words and chuckled, handing her the gun. “Be careful, Y/N, and remember Ra’s plan.” He looked at her lips and sniffed, slapping the roof of the car. “This is her stop.” 
iv 
She met with the judge who oversaw Falcone’s case and gave him the thick folder. He looked at it briefly before recognizing the information. 
“I appreciate you coming out to speak to me about Falcone’s transfer to Arkham but I cleared everything with Ms. Dawes yesterday. She’s already scheduled a second psychiatrist to meet with Falcone first thing tomorrow morning. She mentioned that she’s also requested Dr. Crane’s case file. Has she seen this?” He waved the folder and she clicked her tongue, shocked that she had scheduled a second opinion and that Crane didn’t know about it.
“I’m not sure, sir. I was the detective working with the prosecution and I was the one who oversaw Dr. Crane’s examination and request for transfer. I can attest to Falcone's mood at the time as well. He screamed nonstop as Crane was trying to conduct a test of sanity. Anyway, I wanted to make sure that you saw Dr. Crane’s diagnosis in the aftermath of his transfer. This has updated notes that Dr. Crane shared with me. It might be useful in your deliberation.” She smiled and the judge looked down his nose at the folder. 
“Good point. Thank you, detective. This is helpful.” He opened the folder on his desk and put on his rounded spectacles. 
“Well now that we’ve spoken, I’ll try to catch Dawes and save her the trouble.” She pushed back her chair and brushed off her trousers. 
“Miss —?” The judge called from his desk. 
“Yes, sir?” She looked back.
“Dr. Crane has committed many of Falcone’s men to Arkham in the past few months, is that correct?” 
“Yes,” she nodded and her heart raced. 
“That must be a pretty crazy group.” The judge laughed and went back to the folder, completely missing the pattern. She sighed in relief and left quickly. She started to walk to Arkham, moving so quickly she felt like she may have been running. Dawes had already scheduled a second opinion, meaning that she was probably at Arkham pressuring Crane for his detailed diagnosis. It would take Dawes one second to figure it out so she hoped she could get there quickly enough to do something. She had no plan which she knew was stupid but whatever was bound to happen in the next few hours would be bad and she needed to help Crane. Her phone began to ring and she put it to her ear. 
“Hello?”
“Y/N.”
“Ra’s?”
“Are you on your way to Arkham?”
“Yes, sir.” 
“Turn around and go back to your precinct. I want you to stick close to Sgt. Gordon, go where he goes. You’re his top detective so run with it. If anything happens at Arkham, he’ll be there and I want you there with him. Crane will be fine.”
She slowed to a stop, skeptical but wanting to believe what her new boss was telling her, “ok, sir.”
After a second of silence, Ra’s added, “It’s Batman’s birthday and what better way to celebrate a playboy than with chaos?” The call ended before she could respond. 
She spun around and headed straight for the precinct. She spotted Gordon at his desk, working on paperwork. She hurried over and knocked on the door, letting herself in when he waved. 
“Good, I’m glad to see you. I need to run some ideas by you for the Falcone case.” 
“I just dropped off Crane's diagnosis for the judge but he said that Dawes may be seeking a second opinion.” 
“About that -” The intercom went off with a loud screech. 
“Attention all units! Attention all units! Batman was spotted at Arkham Asylum. He is believed to be armed and dangerous. Backup is requested at this time.” The voice repeated with a robotic drone. Sgt. Gordon looked from the speaker to her and grabbed his coat from his chair. 
“We need to get to the asylum right now.” Gordon yelled and she followed him closely, checking that her gun was still secured to her hip. She clipped her badge to her front pocket and pretended to sound confused. 
“Why are we going, Sgt? Do you think this is about Falcone?”
“It might, I’d feel better if I was there to find out; and if Batman is there, someone’s in trouble.” They hurried down the stairs and climbed into a car. Gordon sped away from the precinct and ran red lights. The tires bled across the roads as they came to a screeching halt behind a row of police cars parked outside the Asylum. 
“Why is everyone waiting outside?” She yelled over the noise. An officer standing with his gun aimed at the building yelled back. 
“We’re waiting for backup!”
“They’ll be here soon, sir. We should wait!” She yelled over the noise at the Sgt. 
Gordon looked up at the building and pulled his gun from his holster. He started moving towards the building, looking back to wave her on. 
“I’m going in. You coming?” He called. 
She groaned anxiously beneath her breath before responding, “yes, sir!” They raced up the stairs into the lobby which was left completely vacant. Gordon held up his gun and she followed suit, staying close behind him. She felt the urge to kill him now and find Crane but her gut warned her that someone else was in the room, watching. They walked slowly through the main corridor, past the abandoned security checkpoint, creeping closer to the wide atrium. When they stepped beneath the enormous domed ceiling a loud noise broke through the top of the building. She looked up and covered her face with her forearm to protect her eyes from large shards of falling glass. She saw a large dark blur surround Sgt. Gordon and pull him up to the roof. 
“Sgt. Gordon!” She yelled after him. She knew immediately that the blur was that bastard Batman. A small laugh escaped her mouth as she shook her head and lowered her gun. A group of SWAT ran in seconds later. She pointed at the ceiling with her gun and called them over. 
“He came down and took Sgt. Gordon!”
“Who?” Someone yelled at her and she shook her head, pretending to be unsure. 
“I don’t know! I think it was Batman.” She yelled, adding to their panic. 
“Batman!” Someone shouted and in the moment of distraction, she slipped away into a side corridor. She bolted towards a staircase and stopped at every floor, looking for signs of activity. Her body burned with soreness as she sprinted down each corridor. She wanted to scream his name but her lungs wouldn’t allow her the extra air to do so. She rounded a corner and ran into a group of police. They all started shouting at her until she showed them her badge. 
“I’m a detective- What the hell is going on here?” She yelled. 
“We’re looking for Dr. Crane!”
“Have you seen Sgt. Gordon?” She asked, panting and trying not to panic when they mentioned Crane’s name. “He disappeared and I've been looking for him.”
“No, we haven’t. We got a call that they found drugs in the building and then Batman showed up. Crane was running the operation.” One police officer responded and jerked their head to the side where they were going to run next. “It's down this corridor!”  
“I’ll come with you,” she shouted and led the unit, her gun pointed at the ground. Two large doors were falling off their hinges further down the hallway. The room itself was smokey and gaseous. She looked down from the doorway where there were stairs leading into a cement lined room like an empty indoor pool. Tables were littered with Crane’s fear serum and men that she assumed were dead. Huge vats of liquid marked with a toxic symbol sat on their sides by an open waterline. 
“This is it,” she said to the officer beside her and started to descend the staircase. The smoke made it hard to see so she moved slowly, looking around the floor for Crane’s familiar face. The men she saw were all part of Falcone’s posse who had been hired to help the drug operation run. Something snapped beneath her food and she looked down, seeing Crane’s scarecrow mask which she recognized from his drawing. She picked it up and looked around anxiously, her fingers around the gun shook. Then she saw him. Crane was propped up against a wall and bleeding slightly from the head, a thin trail of blood oozed on the wall behind his head. He was panting and flailing around, his pupils were mere penpoints. He’d been attacked with his own fear powder. She looked around before dropping into a crouch beside him. He recognized her but continued to shake, his eyes darting around her head. 
“Jonathan,” she whispered, “it's me.” 
“Did you find him?” Someone shouted and she yelled back that she had. He raised a judgemental eyebrow, his mouth forming a cuss word. His glasses were gone. 
“Trust me, Crane.” She whispered against his ear and held his wrists together. She took her handcuffs from her belt and handcuffed him. 
She leaned against the wall and tapped her foot anxiously as they strapped him into a white straightjacket. She crossed the room and helped the officer secure the last belt, thankful for any excuse to touch him and remind him that she was still there. Looking up at her, he spat and she flinched slightly. His light eyes were ringed with red swollen skin and she wondered if he really felt betrayed by her. She wiped his spit from her cheek and returned to her place by the wall. 
“So this is the scarecrow,” Sgt. Gordon entered the room and let the door slam shut. Crane jumped from the noise and closed his eyes, taking a deep shaky breath. 
“Scarecrow… scarecrow.” Crane whispered with his eyes closed and shifted within the straightjacket. Sgt. Gordon pulled up a chair, the metal scraping against the floor, bristling Crane into opening his eyes. 
“What was the plan, Crane? How were you going to get the toxin into the air?” Gordon asked calmly and fingered the scarecrow mask. Her stomach turned watching Crane struggle to regain control over his mind. He shook and his eyes darted around the room, landing once or twice on her. She kept a straight face, giving no sign that she was terrified that something would happen to him or she would accidentally reveal something about him that they didn’t already know. When Crane didn’t respond, Gordon continued, his voice rising. 
“Who were you working for?” Gordon pressed and Crane’s eyes snapped to his, a crazy smile pulling at his lips. 
“Oh, it’s too late. You can’t stop it now.” He spoke through shivers, cutting up his words. He smiled at the end and Gordon shook his head. He stood and shoved the mask into her hands. 
“Here. Stay with Crane.” He growled and left the room, his footsteps echoing through the heavy steel door. She looked down at the mask in her hands and hid her smile. There was only one officer left in the room with them and she bit the inside of her cheek, trying to come up with a quick plan. 
“Are there any officers outside?” She asked the cop by the door who peeked his head outside the door. 
“No, ma’am.” 
“Good,” she smiled and raised her gun when the door snapped behind him. “Then this should be easy.” She cocked the gun and cornered the officer. “Face the wall,” she ordered and when he turned, she hit him over the head with the butt of her pistol, knocking him unconscious. She quickly handcuffed him and checked outside one last time before running over to Crane. He was still recovering from the toxin, his face set in a deep frown. She began to free him from his restraints, glancing at the door every few seconds. His eyes stayed on her face and he kept muttering things below his breath. When she undid the last restraint he jumped up and it fell from around his shoulders to the floor. She started to smile when he lunged at her and pushed her up against the tiled wall. Her hair clip cracked against the tile and clattered to the floor in pieces. She gasped beneath his hands, one holding her throat and the other grabbing the slack in her sweater, exposing her navel. 
“You betrayed me,” he growled, “you told Gordon... I saw you.” His eyes were wild and glazed, he looked right through her.
“What?” she gasped out though his hand was crushing her windpipe. 
“I saw you two! You fucked him. You fucked him!” He yelled, his body shook with anger like he was coming down from an adrenaline high. 
“No, I didn’t!” She struggled beneath his hands, “this is the toxin talking, Jonathan! I didn’t betray you-”
“But you fucked him,” his voice twisted into a heatbreaking whine, an image flicked before his eyes and he closed them quickly, shaking it from his head.
“No!” She coughed and she could feel herself getting light-headed. 
“You love him,” his voice was breaking beneath him and his eyes darted between hers as the toxin showed him more and more; everything of which included her.
“Jonathan!” she screamed and hit his chest hard with closed fists, “I can’t fucking breathe!” 
His eyes snapped open wider and he released his grip around her throat. Her feet landed on the ground and she coughed, sinking into a crouch against the wall. Crane stepped back and watched her silently. He was still shaking as he ran a hand anxiously through his hair. 
“Why would I save you if I loved him?” She cried in frustration, rubbing her bruised throat. “It’s the toxin, Jonathan… I didn’t do the things you think I did,” her voice softened. She looked up at him and stood slowly, grabbing onto the wall for support. Crane cradled his head in his hands and whimpered. 
“What do you see?” she asked quietly and stepped closer. He shook his head and created more distance between them. “Jonathan, tell me.” She pressed and he exhaled with a soft shutter.
“You… fuck,” he started through heavy breaths, working himself up again. “I see you and Gordon…” He rubbed his eyes and looked back up at her. “It’s been so long since…”
“Since what?” She furrowed her brow, questioning. His eyes darted away into the corner and he shook.
“Since my father last used it…” he took a deep breath and finished his sentence with a lengthy exhale, “on me.” 
“The fear toxin?” She whispered, slowly starting to understand what he was suggesting. He nodded and flinched as if something had attacked him. Was he saying that his father used a prototype of the fear toxin on him? She grabbed onto the sleeve of his suit jacket and tugged his attention away. 
“It’s just me. There’s no one else- nothing else in here except for me,” she gestured to the nearly empty room (the officer was still unconscious in the corner). “And I’m here for you,” she whispered and closed the distance between them, her hands slipped around his small waist beneath his suit jacket. She felt his body tense beneath her embrace before slowly (very slowly) releasing its tension. He didn’t hug her back but rested his forehead on her shoulder. She stroked his hair, and found the shallow wound on the back of his head. She ducked her head as she pulled away, finding his mouth and kissing him gently. The toxin was slowly wearing off and she could tell he was only beginning to return to his normal self. 
“We need to get up to my office,” he muttered and looked at the door. “They’re releasing the patients.”
“What?” She furrowed her brow. Crane sighed and shook his head. 
“Ra’s gave orders to open all of the cells. The patients will be let loose into the city.” He licked his lips and looked down at her. “We need to get upstairs.” His expression was tense as she could tell he was trying to fight the lingering effects of the toxin. She nodded. 
“Show me where to go.” 
He pulled her through the door and they ran down the corridor to an elevator. When the doors opened, Crane used his key to override the system, preventing anyone else from calling the elevator. He pressed the button for the floor with his office, not realizing that his other hand was squeezing tightly around hers. When the doors opened again, they rushed down the hallway and into Crane’s office. He sighed when the door was locked and the blinds closed. 
“What are we going to do?” She asked him quietly and he inhaled slowly. 
“I need to inject you with the antidote so the toxin doesn’t affect you when we leave the building.” He murmured, more to himself.
“We’re going out there?” She tried to keep the fear from her voice but he detected it instantly, raising an eyebrow. 
“Are you scared?” He asked automatically. 
“Of both of us dying out there at the hands of one of your old patients, yes, yes I am.” She nearly laughed. 
“Don’t you want to be part of the fun?” The Jonathan Crane she knew was definitely coming back. 
“I’d rather not become the ‘fun’,” she quipped and he smirked. 
“As you wish.” 
She followed him into his lab and he rummaged through a collection of vials arranged on one of the counters. Finding the right one, he slipped it inside a cartridge of what looked like an epipen. 
“Pull down your pants,” he ordered and then it was her turn to raise her eyebrow. “Don’t look at me like that and do what I tell you,” he said sternly and she did as he asked, pulling down her trousers where he had access to her thigh. “This will hurt,” he warned her before immediately plunging the needle into the fat around her thigh. She hissed in pain and heaved out a breath. 
“The good news is that you don’t have to ever do this again,” he patted her leg and buttoned her pants for her. “Now me,” he changed the vial and unbuckled his pants. He raised the hem of his boxers and punctured the needle into his upper thigh. He grunted in pain and closed his eyes for a moment and whistled out a tight breath. A large explosion shook the ground below their feet. She jumped and winced as she landed on her sore leg. Without opening his eyes, Crane nodded. 
“And that would be the patients leaving the building now.” He withdrew the needle and tossed it to the side, buckling his pants. 
“Let me see your head,” she touched his arm and he leaned forward slightly, turning his head where she could see it clearly. She carded her fingers through his dark hair and parted the dark roots away from the shallow wound. “It's a small cut, you’ll live.” 
“Thanks, doctor.” He smirked. Her fingers shifted through his hair as he straightened and she tried not to look disappointed when they were no longer twirled around his black locks. 
“Are you back now?” She looked up into his eyes, looking for trances of fear. 
“I think so,” he responded and traced his index finger around the collar of her sweater. There were small bruises where his fingers had been when he forced her against the wall in his state of panic. “Was I terrible?” He whispered. 
“Not more than usual,” she laughed lightly and covered his hand with hers. “I’m ok.” She insisted and he furrowed his eyebrows and licked his lips. 
He was going to apologize, he was going to tell her how much he loved her and that was why he had reacted so strongly to the toxin, but the words died on his lips so instead he said, “We should leave before the city goes all the way under.”
“They’ll raise the bridges so no one can leave, it’s too late.” 
Crane chuckled and leaned against the lab table behind him, his fingers grasping around the edge. “And once again, you severely underestimate me. Come on.” 
vi 
“Get on,” Crane held the bridle and gestured for her to mount the large black steed. 
“You’re kidding right?” She looked around at the burning city and then back to the police horse who’d lost its rider. 
“I wish I was,” he sighed and tugged her closer by her waistband, “now giddy-up, Miss —.” He joked flatley and pushed her up onto the saddle. He hoisted himself up after her and sat in front, taking the reins in his hands. She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed her thighs around the horse's stomach, holding on for dear life. 
“Where the hell did you learn to ride a horse?” She yelled over the panic and she felt him chuckle. 
“Oh, there are a lot of things that you don’t know about me, detective.” He smirked and kicked the horse into action. She gasped and held him tighter as they flew through the violence-strewn streets. She couldn’t imagine how ridiculous they looked to the people of Gotham but under the influence of the fear toxin, she hoped people were more afraid than amused seeing a man in a full suit riding a horse. Crane focused on the route ahead, navigating them through the broken city. 
“Where’s Ra’s?” She yelled into his ear. 
“Forget about him.” He growled and urged the horse faster. 
“Why? What happened?” 
“He tricked me. He didn't just want to impose an arguably better government, he wanted to kill everyone and to kill us too. He tipped off Batman and that’s how Batman found me. He didn't need me after the toxin had been released. He kept you away from me, didn’t he?” He called over his shoulder, leaping over a crashed car. 
“Yes, he told me to go to the precinct instead when I tried to warn you about the DA.” 
“He wanted Batman to find me and he assumed that you’d get stuck here after you followed Gordon. Two birds with one stone. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.” He growled and turned the horse onto a side-street and into an alley. 
“Where are we going?” She asked, her grip tightening around Crane as she saw people screaming in the streets. 
“To my father’s house.” 
“How?” His father’s house? After his father had probably done something horrible to him?
“Just hold on,” he warned and flicked the reins again. She closed her eyes, wanting to block out the terror in the streets. While some of it gave her pleasure to see the raw side of humanity express itself, it reminded her of what she had seen as a child- the side of people that came out when they needed to survive. 
They rode to the edge of the city and Crane slowed the horse to a stop beside a tall building that looked abandoned. He hopped off of the horse and helped her down, catching her as she forced herself to slip over the saddle. The building was far enough away from the inner-city that it looked like it hadn’t been touched yet by the chaos, though the toxins had definitely reached it. 
“We need to get to the roof,” he informed her calmly and pointed her to the elevator. 
“Another elevator…” she whispered beneath her breath, knowing it wasn’t the right time to mention how much she hated the idea of going into one when the world around them was ending. Crane pressed the button labeled “20R,” and the elevator began to soar up. The elevator had windows that opened into the city. As the elevator climbed, they could see the destruction of Gotham and right across the bridge, normalcy.
“Ra’s is moving the micro-wave emitter by the high speed rail. If his plan goes accordingly, the emitter will poison the other side of the city beneath Wayne tower.” He pointed out the tall Wayne building from their vantage point. “I hate Gotham and I hate Batman, but I think I hate Ra’s Al Ghul more.” He sneered distastefully. “We could have run Gotham…” he sighed and shrugged, “maybe another day.” 
She couldn’t help herself but laugh. Being with Crane had opened her eyes to a new side of herself, one that was dark and masochistic. She liked this side better, way better. She liked thinking that one day she could be in charge, force out all of the government officials that were too dumb or sexist to listen to her. She could lead beside Crane… 
When the elevator doors opened a gust of wind met them. The doors opened onto the roof of the huge building. A helicopter stood in the center of a large bull’s eye, its blades running in circles above their heads. Crane’s hair ruffled in the wind and he squinted his eyes against it. Her mouth fell open in shock and Crane chuckled at her reaction. 
“That’s the funny thing about, trust, detective. I don’t believe in it,” he smirked and beckoned her to the helicopter’s doors. 
“You planned this?” She yelled as he gestured her to climb onto the landing gear. 
“Of course,” he smiled, "I always have a backup plan." Her mary janes slipped across the bars as she climbed and Crane supported her back, guiding her back into the body of the machine. He pulled himself inside after her and collapsed in one of the seats. She tried to orient herself, looking around the small helicopter, landing on the pilot. The pilot nodded at Crane, he was wearing a thick mask and goggles to keep the toxin away. 
“Ready doctor?” The pilot called from the front and Crane nodded breathlessly. He looked at her and clenched his jaw, returning to the version of Crane she knew so well. 
“Yes.”
125 notes · View notes
starstruckwillows · 1 year
Text
it’s a movie-book — remus lupin ♡
requested by anon <3
remus lupin x fem!reader, mostly fluff, post-hogwarts, mentions of alcohol, remus is a bit insecure, some swearing
remus finds love letters in your room
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
“i’ll be two minutes,” you called over your shoulder as you disappeared into the bathroom with a dress in hand, “don’t put your shoes on the bed!”
you’d left remus, your best friend, sitting in your room, because as usual, you weren’t ready at the agreed upon time of departure.
it was alright though, he predicted that, and as usual, told you he’d be over an hour earlier than he told the others he’d get there.
you stood at your mirror, trying not to think about how sweet he looked in his knitted jumper. the guy was wearing a knitted jumper to a club. if you’d thought you couldn’t find him anymore dear, you were wrong.
“who’re we meeting, rem?” you were shouting a touch too loud, the walls of your apartment weren’t that thin, but remus didn’t comment on it.
“not sure, dove,” he nudged your door with his elbow, “some friends james made on his quidditch team.”
you hummed in reply, mouth full of your toothbrush, and gave a muffled cry at the crash you heard in your room. spitting the toothpaste into the skin, “what was that?”
remus winced at the photo frame he knocked over, “nothing!”
he breathed a sigh of relief at the lack of cracks in the glass as he repositioned it on your desk.
a necklace had been knocked down in his warpath. he spotted it sparkling, almost concealed entirely beneath your bed, and lent down to pick it up.
his hand brushed a stack of lined paper that spilled towards him.
shit, why am i making such a mess?
remus meant to push the papers back together and slide them back to their original dwelling, he really did, but he caught one word on the top page that had him frozen.
love.
and he didn’t intend to keep going. he should’ve stopped. but the words he began to accidentally pick out against his own determination were striking matches against the blood in his heart.
some of the letters were poetic and pretty, delicate word choices lining the pages. others were scribbled and raw, blunt confessions of adoration.
remus’ chest tightened. he’d been harbouring a rather obvious crush on you, but clearly, you were deeply in love with someone else. probably not a broke werewolf.
“hey, rem, can you pass me my heels? they’re in my room... somewhere.”
the man snapped into focus, erasing any evidence of his discrepant crime and picking up the shoes you’d asked for.
“alright, ready!” you beamed up at him, all glitter and glee, and he tried not to let it bother him.
but how could it not? he sat, nursing his drink, while you flew around the room with your friends, giggling and sticking your tongue out at them everytime you passed. you were barely tipsy, just enjoying yourself.
it would be just his luck for you to bounce over and call him out on his brooding.
he shrugged, “sorry dove, just not feeling it tonight.”
that was not a viable answer to you, “you were so excited though. what happened?”
“nothing. go on, dance with marlene. she’s shouting for you.”
but you shook your head with a slight pout, taking his drink from his hands and sliding it away. you hopped onto the barstool next to him, and tried not to take note of his light eyelashes brushing against his cheeks.
“tell me. please.”
remus groaned. you didn’t get an answer.
“rem. remus. remmy. c’mon. just tell me. sure it’s not that bad, whatever’s going on, we can fix it?”
he failed to stop the involuntary clench in his jaw, “we can’t do anything.”
you clicked your tongue, “can i do anything?”
as he finally turned to look at you, the dark depths of honey eyes dilating, a surge of courage poured into his body. from you, adrenaline, or the liquor, he wasn’t sure, but it was there, egging him on to say something he’d probably regret.
“who’s the one you wrote the letters for?”
you froze, parting your lips to fumble a reponse, but he wasn’t done,
“i mean, love letters and poetry, shit, who’s that for? cos... i don’t like it.”
that hurt. you bit your lip and dropped your gaze to the ground, “you don’t like the letters?”
“no, i don’t like that they aren’t for me.” he nudged your chin back up to face him, the look of shock still stamped over your face.
“but they are.”
“what?”
“they are for you.”
remus dropped your chin and looked away himself, muttering, “don’t lie to me.”
you scoffed, “don’t call me a lair. they are for you, remus, all of them.”
a lapse of quiet between you. in spite of the pulsing activity of the club at your back, you strained to hear his slightly laboured breathing.
“don’t fuck with me.” he whispered; you barely caught it.
“i’m not.” you stressed back to him, a hand bracing yourself against his chest, “i love you.”
he shook his head stubbornly, so you raised your hands to the sides of his face to stop him from avoiding you. avoiding this.
“i love you, remus. i am in love with you.”
pushing yourself up to kiss him, he wasted no time. the small volume of beer he’d actually consumed thrummed in his blood as he met your lips with his until they were flushed, over and over again.
“this is like something from a movie. you should’ve just asked me upfront.” you leaned against his front as he wrapped his arms around your lower back.
“if anything, it’s a book, cos of the letters.”
you comprised, “it’s a movie-book.”
still giddy with the feeling of your kiss, he nodded sagely, not really sure what he was agreeing to, “it’s a movie-book.”
Tumblr media
🏷️ — @anordinarymuse @ell0ra-br3kk3r @kingshitonly
731 notes · View notes
green-eyedfirework · 5 days
Text
He didn’t know what possessed him to blurt it out, but the words spilled from his lips, “You’re attracted to me.”
The cold blue eye flicked up, and then back down at the book.  “You’re attractive.”
A frustratingly typical non-committal answer.
“You know what I mean,” Dick snapped, releasing his stretch and pushing up on his knees.  Slade didn’t look at him, not even when Dick loomed above him.  “Slade.”
“What are you fishing for?” Slade asked, still intent on his book.
“You said—you told them,” Dick started, and stopped.  He remembered the day they’d come into the cell, and the way Slade casually talked about him like he wasn’t right there—“You told them you wanted me.  It’s true.  You do want me.”
“Is there a question in there somewhere, kid?”
“You don’t—” Dick didn’t know how to make the right words come out.  Slade was staring at him now, attention off the book, and even if Dick shut up, he knew that the older man would tuck the memory of his flustration away.  “If you really wanted me, you’d fuck me more often,” Dick said bluntly.
Slade’s eye narrowed.  “Do you want me to fuck you more often?” he asked blandly, and Dick immediately snarled.  “Don’t give me that, kid.  You’re the one who started this conversation.”
Dick breathed, in and out, and resisted the urge to try and punch Slade.  He wouldn’t succeed anyway, collar or not.
“Why don’t you fuck me more often?”  The question was quieter than Dick intended, though at least he hid the rawness.  If Slade was a monster, it would’ve been easier to endure.  If he was the manipulative jackass Dick knew he was, taking advantage of the opportunity of Nightwing at his feet, Dick could understand.  But Slade kept the fucks almost military-precise, like they were just another thing to check off his schedule.  Meals, shower, training, and every other day, fuck Nightwing.
Slade’s face tightened, and Dick prepared himself for another sarcastic non-answer, but Slade just turned back to his book.  “Because being forced to put on a show is not my idea of a good time.”
Dick made a high, unamused laugh.  “I didn’t realize my consent mattered to you so much.”
“I wasn’t,” Slade said evenly, “Talking about you.”
Dick stilled.  Something hot was burning in his stomach, tight and furious.  “Not enjoying yourself?” Dick asked, his tone dark and poisonous, “Not getting off to dominating me—oh wait, you are.  I have proof of that.”
“I mastered control of my body a long time ago,” Slade said, disinterested again, and Dick’s fingers itched with the desire to reach out and claw out his remaining eye.
“Do you really expect me to believe that this isn’t entertaining for you?” Dick spit out.
“I like a challenge,” Slade said levelly, not looking up at him, “I like a fight.  Fucking someone who’s limp and sobbing is unappealing.”  His tone took a harder edge, “One of us is wearing the collar, kid, and it isn’t you.”
That hit more painfully than if Slade had reached out and slapped him.  “Why do you fuck me if you hate it so much, then?” Dick hissed.
“Why do you let me fuck you if you hate it so much?” Slade turned the question back onto him.  Let me fuck you.  Jesus fucking Christ.  Like Dick had a fucking choice.
His fingers curled into fists as his heartbeat throbbed angrily in his skull.  “The choice is rape or death,” he said more evenly than he felt.
Slade tilted his head, as if to say ‘there you have it’.
“You won’t die if you don’t fuck me,” Dick snarled.
“No,” Slade looked up at him, ice blue eye pinning him in place, “But you will.”
~#~
Dick opened his eyes to meet an icy blue one, the one he’d been dreaming of in the stupor exhaustion dragged him into, more sticky and draining than actual sleep.  The only thing he dreamed of, because all the others were too implausible in this hellhole, unable to coalesce even in his imagination, but this was close enough to hope for.
Slade would not come, would not protect him, would not help—
“Robin,” cracked past bloody, crusted lips, a rasp of a whisper that Dick forced out.
But he might kill him.
Dick didn’t want to die.  He wanted to go home, back to his family, back to his life, but he was dying anyway, and he preferred Slade’s instantaneous option over being raped and torn apart, again and again and again until his body just gave up.
In his dreams, Slade always agreed.  He looked angry or gentle or blank, but he cupped Dick’s face in his hands and jerked—and then Dick woke back up to his hell.
This time, Slade hesitated.  He blinked in what looked like shock, before it flickered through upset and hardened into grim determination.  “Okay, little bird,” he murmured, oh-so-soft, and one forearm braced against his shoulders, not cupping his face, and the other fit around his jaw.
Wait a minute.
Dick squinted at this uncharacteristic change, why—Slade’s face was splattered with blood, and gaunter than he remembered.
Fingers tensed on his jaw.
“Stop,” burst forth, his heart suddenly hammering as he raised a shaky hand to grab Slade’s arm.  “Stop, no, Slade, don’t.”
Slade relinquished him easily, and Dick propped himself up on an elbow and tried to blink the exhaustion from his eyes.
The room was a bloodbath.  Most of it was concentrated near the open door, the bodies outside, but there was also a spreading stain on the bed, where Adams’ mutilated corpse was strewn over the sheets.
Freshly mutilated, because Adams had definitely used him just hours before, and yet he was dead and Slade was covered in blood.
Dick snapped his gaze back to Slade, who had retreated a couple of steps, watching him silently.  The sling was gone, the broken cheekbone healed, all the injuries vanished like they’d never been there, but there was something broken in his expression, and Dick didn’t know what it was.
He did know one thing.
“You came,” Dick choked past the growing lump in his throat, struggling to straighten upright with weak, spasming arms.  He hadn’t dreamed—sparing his life the first time had been a whim, but this—this destruction Slade had wrecked to get Dick back—
Dick was all out of tears, but the harsh gasps shuddering through him were the closest equivalent of sobs his battered body could manage.  “You came,” he whispered again, reaching out a trembling hand, and Slade closed the distance between them and allowed Dick to tighten a hand in his shirt as he slowly, carefully, gently picked him up.
Dick wanted to tell him it didn’t matter.  Every part of Dick ached and burned, Slade’s care wouldn’t make a difference.  But he just buried his face against Slade’s shirt and held on tight.
~#~
Dick never left Slade’s reach.
At first, he was injured enough that it wasn’t apparent, Slade hovering solicitously over him as he recovered his strength, bit by bit, spooning soup into his mouth, practically carrying him to the bathroom, dressing his injuries.  Soon, Dick had enough strength to be able to walk shakily to the far wall and back, though he frequently had to pause along the way.
Before, he would’ve taken the opportunity to sit in the far corner, as far away from Slade as he could get, back turned to show his visible displeasure.  Even later, when the days settled into a rhythm, Dick grew more comfortable with the space but still kept away, anger churning inside of him after each of their public fights.
Now, he stayed on the bed, Slade in sight if Dick wasn’t already pressed against him, and Slade escorted him to the bathroom for every trip.  The handful of times Slade had gone to the training arena, Dick had sat on the nearest bench and kept his white-knuckled grip on the wood, barely even daring to blink.
Every time he did, every time he looked away, he remembered the door buzzing open, too many hands overwhelming him, fighting punished painfully, the high, shrieking thought that if Slade had been there, Dick would’ve never gotten hurt.  It made his breaths run fast and high, his chest squeeze painfully, and his heart pound in his ears as terror blanketed him.
He knew it wasn’t healthy, knew that Slade wasn’t his white knight, wasn’t even a good person, that the man had stained his hands with more blood than anyone he faced in the arena, but to Dick’s traumatized senses, he registered as safe.
Slade’s patience with Dick’s clinging, however, finally ran out.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” Dick said quietly, his gaze focused on the strings he was weaving together.  Red and black.  Maybe he could impress Jason with his bracelet-making skills when he got out.
“So go,” Slade rumbled from beside him, “You don’t need me holding your hand anymore.”
The strings fell through suddenly trembling fingers.  Dick looked up, and Slade turned to look down at him, raising an eyebrow.
He wasn’t breathing too fast, wasn’t shaking, but Slade must’ve seen something on his face because he lowered the book to look at Dick properly.  “I’ve gone over every inch of that bathroom,” he said, calm and even, “No one can get out, much less in.”
That...was true.  The ensuite had only one door, and no windows.  Slade would stop anyone who tried to enter the cell.  Dick was as safe as he could get.
His throat was still locked up.  He didn’t know why.  He stared up at Slade, mute, pleading for something he didn’t understand, and Slade’s expression roiled before it settled to a fractured blankness.
“I can’t protect you, kid,” Slade said quietly, and it sounded like it hurt him to admit it.
Not like this, his furrowed brow told him.  Not with a collar around his neck, suppressing the meta powers that made him one of the deadliest people on Earth.  Not locked inside a fighting ring used for someone’s sick entertainment.  Dick had gotten a crash course in the fact that Slade wasn’t invincible and couldn’t be everywhere.
Dick’s eyes were beginning to prickle.
Slade sighed, and closed his book.  “Fine,” he grumbled, getting off the bed, “Let’s go.”
~#~
“Did you get injured worse in that last match?” Dick asked, curled up in Slade’s arms and still coming down from the panic attack he’d gotten when the door buzzed open to admit Slade post his infirmary check-up.
Slade healed ridiculously fast, Dick couldn’t think of any injury that would’ve kept him out for days, and yet he hadn’t been there when Adams and the others had come prowling.
“They kept my collar on,” Slade replied, his tone terse.
Dick twisted to look up at Slade.  “What?”
Deathstroke was one of their most valuable fighters, a great draw for spectators, and they usually took off his collar—while he was completely drugged up—to allow him to rapidly heal any injuries he got.  It was one of the main points of vulnerability that existed in the whole set-up, and if Dick could just figure out how to use it, they’d be free.
There were very few problems that couldn’t be solved by pointing a determined Deathstroke in its direction.
It was also unfortunately the reason Slade stuck to his no-holds-barred fighting style, willing to tank attacks to keep on the offensive, and some part of Dick went cold as he remembered how easily the cell door had opened.
Like someone had unlocked it.
“They did it on purpose,” Dick said distantly, his grip tightening on Slade, “They—me—they did it on purpose.  Why?”
“Could be several reasons,” Slade said levelly, and he maneuvered Dick until he was curled up more tightly in Slade’s lap.  “They wanted to get back at me, put me in my place, remind me that I’m not in charge.”
Well, that backfired spectacularly, then, every single one of their fighters was now utterly terrified of Slade.
“Or they could’ve despised you.  Thought that you were too unbroken.”
Partially succeeded on that account.  All it took was a goddamn door opening to send Dick into a panic attack.
“Or,” Slade said quietly, “The ones that fancy themselves as intelligent, they probably wanted to see what I’d do.”
How Slade would act, to come back and discover that his plaything had been stolen.  How attached he was to Dick.  Possessiveness didn’t equal protectiveness, after all, and Dick had the sinking feeling that they revealed too much with Slade’s rescue and care.
“And that doesn’t bother you?” Dick whispered, “That they’re studying your actions?”  That they know they can use me against you?
“No,” was the casual response, “Because I’ll kill them all.”  A callused thumb brushed away a lock of hair that had fallen into Dick’s face.  “The cleverer ones would’ve argued against provoking me at all.”
Dick could’ve said something, about murder and justice and one not equating the other.  He didn’t.
Justice—trials and laws and enforcement—was the privilege of a civilized society.  The arena didn’t meet the list of requirements.
“And the cleverest ones?” Dick asked, resting his head against Slade’s chest, “What did they do?”
“Run,” Slade murmured, “The moment they saw me in the arena.”
49 notes · View notes