there's a video on instagram of a man kicking his partner's door in. the top comment is (with over 4 thousand likes): "how about you tell us what you did to make him that angry?"

barring emergency, nobody should be kicking anybody's door in. many of us lived in houses where it was always, somehow, an emergency. there is a strange, almost hysterical calm that comes over you in that moment - everything feels muted, and you almost feel, however incongruently, like you should be laughing. you are living inside of "the emergency." oh my god, you think. i am now a fucking statistic.

there is another comment with 2.8 thousand likes: "if this was a woman doing it to a man, nobody would give a shit."

do people give a shit now, though?

barring emergency, the door should remain standing. the emergency should be panicked, desperate - "i'm coming in there to protect you." many of us know what it feels like when the emergency is instead "i'm coming in there to get you."

1.5k likes: "and yet you post this for notes. glad to see being the victim has become your whole personality."

hysteria is a word connected to womb, from greek. what you're experiencing is so senseless and inhumane that you (a rational creature) try to find any ground within what is irrational and cannot be explained. one of the most frustrating things about staying in bad situations is that we also lie to ourselves. we also ask ourselves - wow. what did i do?

women can be, and often are, also abusers. abuse is not gendered. abuse is not just a "straight person" problem. abuse does not have a face or figure or sexuality. you cannot pick an abuser out of a crowd. an abuser could be actually anybody.

and then so many people rally behind the man kicking the door in. here is something nobody should be doing, right? you want to ask every person that liked that first comment: do you ask this because you side with him? do you ask this because it helps you feel safe from this ever happening?

in some ways, you're weirdly sympathetic to the top comment, because it is the same logic you see frequently. the idea is that the average, normal, sane person doesn't just break down a door. doesn't just shoot up a school. doesn't stalk and kill women. doesn't threaten sexual assault. doesn't run over protesters. doesn't shoot an unarmed black person. doesn't scream at underpaid walmart employees. doesn't just "lose it". something had to have happened, right? because the default (white. straight. cis.) - that is someone who is always, you know. "sane."

(right?)

on a podcast, you hear a sane, normal, rational person. "if you piss me off, i'm going to need to hit something. sorry but i'm not apologizing. that's just who i am that's how it is." his voice almost sounds like he's laughing.

you think of the door, and how you were almost laughing behind it, too. ironically, every real emergency in your life has almost felt peaceful in comparison. fire, car accident, flash flooding - these felt quiet, covenant to you. you'd stood in all of them, feeling them pass over and up to your chin, never actually overwhelming.

but when the door was coming down, you had felt - is there a word for that? there has to be, a word, right.

surely one of us has figured out the word for that, i mean. it's such a large fucking statistic.

The problem with being crazy (or mad) is that a lot of shitty people will hear you explain how you can't help doing certain things (because of your mental illness) and still get pissed or nasty when you do those things, while simultaneously blaming random things you do (or even opinions you have) on you being crazy (derogatory). Not only are the symptoms of your madness simply a character failing but also, everything you do that they don't like is a symptom of your madness and thus, bad [wrong].

It's so frustrating.

Special episode of Sam reacts!

Sam reacts to: We're All Doomed Movie

Since this is long, little summary of thoughts at the beginning. I didn't love the editing at the beginning, because it felt too fast paced/ too jumpy? But it changed in the second half and seeing the contrast in the editing of it being much slower during the emotional bit, it does make sense. I think the movie for sure did the performance justice and showing the audience interactions added a lot for me.

Also this show is so important on every level and I adore Dan so much for making it and being so proud of it.

- Immediately started looking for myself but I don't think you can see us, cause we sat on the balcony. I have however already spotted @energeticwarrior and @danrifics like less than a minute in lmao

- I love seeing how many of the camera positions I identified correctly.

- I wish they would let shots linger more, the cuts are quite jumpy.

- Oh this brings me back so much. Hearing the audience laugh at certain moments I remember laughing in that moment. I get the same excitement and urge to clap and cheer.

- I love seeing his expressions, cause I didn't get to see those up from the balcony!

- The person with the boob hair sweater in the first row, I love you!

- "Believably sad, lonely and horny. Dan Howell!"

- Okay they somehow really managed to capture the energy of the room which I was worried about. The sound leveling between audience and Dan is really well matched imo.

- He is SO SWEATY what the fuck how stressed was he because the venue really wasn't too hot honestly.

- My attention span is so much worse than when I was there in person holy shit.

- "After the show talking about what a good time you've had" and none of us have been able to shut up about just how much we loved it since 🥹

- The overalls are so bad for Dan, he has like no ass in them.

- Okay admission that @personthattoleratesme made fun of me for: during the YouTube swipe Montage I didn't realize all the other like Crafting, Baking, Shipping Container YouTubers was Dan the first time I saw the show...

- I am SO GLAD Froot Loops Tucan made it and the persons reaction and confidence is incredible.

- Dan's ability to go between talking about wanting to fuxk the Duolingo owl to the very real danger of social media influencing political elections is unparalleled.

- "Human communication. We want to come together with real people. Share stories, move each other emotionally with our words about depression and pensis."

- Imagine Dan Howell calling you hoe...

- Something about Dan calling himself a ditzy bitch gets me so bad every time.

- "Miscellaneous mentally ill nerds of London" best title I have ever been given.

- I liked Sundays madlips better :(( But wasn't faggots Sunday I am so confused now

- The screams for every Phil mention, we love him so much.

- I love Blame Game so much, some of my favourite parts from the whole show because the energy is unmatched. The fact that JKR gets a more severe reaction than Musk is actually so funny.

- Sunday crowd was the best, you can so clearly hear that the majority of people is calling freedom for Dan at the end aww.

- I need more bravery to fuck shit up, to not be so agreeable and complacent and be more disruptive honestly.

- After the calender bit his voice is so shakey and broken, I didn't hear that at all in person but fuck that just broke me.

- Yeah the last few minutes always get me so not much of a reaction to those other than I cried, again.

- What I found interesting was the parts that were left out? Cause I definitely noticed a few moments that didn't make the cut which I find surprising! Moments I noticed were the first mention of him only using two emojis, that's referenced again with the cowboy hat emoji and also he didn't include the iconic "Because time changes everything".

- I am so glad they managed to get All Star because it is simply part of the experience honestly. Nothing hit's quite like sobbing and then being hit with that song.

EDIT:

- I remembered something else I really loved: the music, I really think they choose such a good score, made such good little sound effects and the reaction I had to hearing it all live was amazing.

Hm. I heard you wanted to know about HoneiSukle, Yes? The only bee capital inside the hidden city's territory, a maze that you will have to learn the directions of based on word of mouth and experience. But I suppose I can tell you all about it.

Tall, golden, imposing, covered in plants buildings with a grand white castle at the center with tall walls surrounding the kingdom, alongside the tall and dense forest around is what a person would see for the first time will say about them.

But as a bee yokai living inside the hive? Well, You take notice of the intricacies of how everything is built.

You notice the barely visibly patterns of hexagons embedded into the material that makes up the buildings. The special designs, symbols, and spells hidden, stitched, and marked into banners, signs, glass, and even the glistening white outerwalls.

You see how the forest has many hidden sigils and posts hidden inside the dense canopy of leaves above the past along with inside the thicker trees themselves. Those yokai are very territorial if you were about to ask.

You notice the golden arches that always look oh so complicated yet so simple.

You notice how the plants flourish in the environment and how much care gets put into where they get placed, you see the gardeners tend to the plants and make sure that they do not die under their care.

You see all the different signs, made with a dark wood or stone and usually written on with bright colors, each color meticulously representing what establishment and business the building was being used for.

The gardens are such a sacred thing, did you know? They say that the gardens hold ancient and magical properties, some people do not come out for hours at time but claim they've only been inside for only half that time... Others say that when a terribly ill person visits the gardens, they come out mostly healed. Not all the way no, but it's improves a person's health and heightens their chance of survival or being healed.

One thing is for certain, These special and sacred gardens are heavily guarded areas due to some distasteful Yokai coming in and trying to vandalize them and destroy the ancient and often extinct flora and plants inside.

Of course, these perks only apply to the giant gardens and the Castle Gardens. The parks dotted around the hive have a much lower chance at reducing a yokai's trouble, but constant exposure had been shown to benefit a person's mental health.

... But of course, These are rumors that have been debunked by the Bee, Bear, and some other trusted yokai by the Bees.

You see how they act, yes? Hesitant and wary of any outsiders who have not 'proven' themselves. There is even a schedule on when outsiders can visit or not. First half of the week and very certain sacred holidays forbid the entry of anyone who is not trusted. Politicians alike have tried to fight against the rules, but they get reminded that the Queens of the past had bought the land they reside. They bought the entire forest and a little ways from it.

It's only nature that they are paranoid, especially after the great war. They don't want to lose the hive again after all, so why trust outsiders?

While yes, a Bee Yokai alone may be the sweetest thing you've ever met... But an entire group of them? They can be the most bitter yokai around if you say or do the wrong thing around them.

But can you really blame them? They have a shakey alliance with the Wasp Yokai because 4 generations ago, one of them killed the King of HoneiSukle. An act like that is unforgivable but the Bees are trying to repair it. Even if it's shakey....

Unlike with the Butterflies, Most of them can be quite rude to the bees and will not show any kindness towards them. It's only reasonable that the Bee Yokai are rude back, Because you mess with one, you mess with all of them.

They do however, have a nice and stable relationship with the Ursine. The Bear and Bee Yokai usually always have a good bond, The Bees provide Honey and the Bears provide protection. It's why the Bears have free reign over the schedule unlike other yokai species, it's because the Bears are fair to the Bees. They act as good bodyguards and well... Would you want to fight a bear?

What you don't see is that the entire city is accessible to the disabled too, Elevators, Professional buses that have wheelchair accessible closest to the doors and not just the front... Basically, everyone inside is treated equally and fairly unless given reason to otherwise.

And the more you stay, the more you know how to properly navigate the maze and customs that is in HoneiSukle Hive, The Hidden City's only Bee City.

......

Well, how about I show you a paper I found that advertises HoneiSukle, hm? The second part seems to be targeted about the two week Flower festival every mid spring.

Ahem.

'The HoneiSukle district was a section of the city that was surrounded by forest with all types of trees and protected by the Hardworking bees. Tall standing buildings that shimmered like gold with hexagonal patterns all around.

HoneiSukle is home to one of the largest family of hardworking bees. These bees all had different jobs they had to tend to, from saleswomen to CEOs, This Colony is the most prosperous from all the hardwork they put into making their 'Hive'.

The HoneiSukle District is home to the tastiest honey known to Yokai kind and the most elaborate and perfect beeswax candles. Their Luscious and colorful gardens are known to be tourist attractions and genuine places where tourists could watch worker bees take care of the flower and some even taking the pollen!

Every Spring, when everybee has regained their energy, There is a festival that lasts for two weeks to celebrate the new blooming flowers and the new year. Many are allowed to come to this festival and celebrate along the bees, and you can hear everyone happy. Children are laughing and running around, Elders are over to the side gossiping about all the different gossip they have picken up, both young and old are participating in different games and are letting the world know they are having fun. The Queens' happily look over the events from atop their throne that is infront of the giant sakura tree that had been there for centuries.

Every Friday during the festival, Yokai will come along and dance around with their lovers and close ones as Cherry Blossoms fall around them to 'strengthen' their love for eachother, as the bees believe that Friday is the day of love for both platonic and romantic. It does not matter who you bring along, just as long as you are respectful and only wear white or pastel colors!'

Now, you may wonder why they specified that you wear white, yes?

Well, It's because during the floral parades, bees on floats and on their wings and feet will start throwing washable pigments and colored water at the crowd, staining their clothes and skin/fur/scales with an array of colors.

I mentioned the city being user accessible before, Have I? Well, this festival is no exception. They have performers on the ground who dance and cover the ground below, other bees pull up those who cannot use or do not have their wings with a swing so they can experience flying and throwing pigment at the crowd. Fan dancers all around with white and light blue fans to mimic wings.

I think I have a photo of the festival.. Along with one of the area normally...

ah yes, here it is.

Hmm...

Well, if you ask more questions I'm sure I'll be able to answer them.

— ???

(ty to @disgracedghostprincess for the last two drawings, and if you are gonna ask about HoneiSukle pls add hsh first thing for our sake—)

@tmntaucompetition

It's like all understanding of access issues and just the fact that we don't really understand all that much of how the brain works immediately leaves people's minds the moment someone doesn't respond well or at all to current available treatment. Like shit. Maybe they can't get the treatment they need bc healthcare systems suck. Maybe the treatment they need doesn't exist yet. Maybe there are a bunch of other reasons but thinking hard rn. Idk. Maybe it's not someone's fault if they can't get better rn.

Like. I do not mean this in a hateful way. But I think this is just the inevitable result of MH spaces and discourse being dominated by people with certain, easier to treat issues that respond well to simple therapies, SSRIs and a bit of hard work. I've long said that I think we need a distinction between like, "average" mental illness and less treatable issues because its inevitable that ppl with complex trauma, dissociative disorders, psychotic disorders etc will get thrown under the bus because god forbid we admit that some CBT and anti depressants and a positive mental attitude cant fix everything. I dont think the egos of proffesionals helps, they CANNOT admit when they don't have the answers and would rather blame the patient than admit they are flawed, and many patients will internalise this instead of challenge it. Plus the whole attitude *everyone* has that "no things will get better if you try" which of course equals "if you arent getting better, its your fault" which is pushed by *every* mental health resource and service and charity....

People will admit access issues when its about statistics about suicide or something. But when confronted with a real person who is struggling? Its all "well just keep trying even though there's nothing! If it doesn't work its your fault!" And then they'll act all shocked when that person kills themselves. *then* they'll complain about funding and postcode lottery and oh why didn't they reach out... I've seen it play out the same way so many times... I honestly feel like shit is just set up to kill off the ones who don't respond to cheap treatment and a cuppa and a chat these days. The outright HOSTILITY and accusations and attacks thrown at anyone who doesn't respond to treatment. That wouldn't exist if people actually wanted them better. Its conform or die.

ah yes, a self identified experience relating to the self or selves and how one sees their internal monologue/dialogue and/or dissociation is totally comparable to ableists fearmongering about a government poisoning people and giving people *Autism (said in a scary bad tone)*. this is totally how things work.

(/sarcasm)

(also, endogenics just want to be themselves, whereas antivaxxers often suggest to ppl medical "advice" that will get them killed, they are not the same)

This!

But... I do actually want so offer a small defense of certain antivaxxers. Because I think you can break them into two groups. One are just conspiracy people who are just looking for conspiracies everywhere and want to find things to blame the government or illuminati or whatever for...

But another are parents who see their child develop a mental disorder, see how that affects their child's life, and are upset and looking for something to blame.

And in the past... the people they were expected to blame... were themselves.

As always, Freud breaks everything he touches. If you look back to the time before the hoax that vaccines caused autism, the popular theory thanks to Freud was that autism was caused by "refrigerator moms." If your child develops autism, then it must be because you're a bad mother and did something wrong.

So when someone pops up claiming autism is caused by vaccines, it gives all the women who were told that they caused their child's autism another explanation.

The theory is wrong, completely debunked and incredibly harmful.

But I guess... I do feel a measure of sympathy for mothers who were victims of sexism, made to feel responsible for their child developing a mental illness that was outside of anyone's hands, and later jumped to the first explanation they found that didn't involve blaming the parents.

And I can't help but feel that this monster was created by a long history of sexism in psychiatry. That if psychiatrists hadn't pushed for so long that autism was caused by the mothers, the mothers wouldn't have been so susceptible to this type of manipulation and the antivax movement wouldn't have become what it did today.

A lot of harmful ideologies don't exist in a vacuum, and I don't want to forget the environment that allowed this particular one to fester and grow into what it is today.

Honestly, this post is going to be a lot about system tropes and stereotypes in shows.

Today I finished watching the show “Ratched” about Nurse Ratched. It was an amazing show- I personally loved it and I loved the color palette that was used. Everything was going quite well until,,, they dropped someone who had DID into the mix.

In case you haven’t watched the show and plan on it, there will be spoilers below!

Every other disorder was not portrayed in extremes, and there was even a scene where the doctor called out Ratched’s “brother” for acting wayy too close to the books of how someone with schizophrenia would act to be seen as “insane.”

Since the show was based in 1940s-1950s, I appreciated that even though they used accurate historical depictions of how ppl treated being gay, they made it CLEAR that this was morally horrible and incorrect.

They did not even ATTEMPT the same thing with someone having DID.

We first get introduced to the character “Charolette Wells” who Dr. Hanover said has “multiple personality disorder” because of her switching between different characters.

Even her introduction made me cringe and seize up with absolute fucking distaste. She is introduced as Ondine Duquette, who harassed an artist for playing a violin and acted aggressive. Charolette, however, was very shy and closed in (she was also treated as the,, “core” basically- which was kind of how they approached DID back then so I kind of tried to shrug it off)

It got even more frustrating when it was ONE session with Dr. Hanover and suddenly she was “cured.” Like Charolette had all control, the “violent alter” was gone, and she was suddenly relieved of her trauma??? BECAUSE OF HYPNOSIS???? I literally held my face in absolute disgust over this shit and this isn’t even the WORST part.

Fast forward to later: Dr. Hanover leaves the hospital because of his past and takes Charolette with her. Well. He pushes her into a trigger again—which I will give the show credit for, I am glad they didn’t stick with the bandaid solution of ONE SESSION of therapy magically making years of trauma go away—and it forces Ondine out again. Who. Also believed Dr. Hanover was. Hitler and that she was killing Hitler…???

So obviously she. Decides to murder Dr. Hanover- which we see Charolette wake up to this in obvious horror bc she doesn’t remember what happened. It just gets worse.

Then later, she comes BACK to the fucking hospital AS Dr. Hanover and she kills one nurse while forcing the OTHER nurse to release the fucking murderer??? After that, she (It’s so unclear who the alter is fronting at the time bc there’s a lot of time switching) literally teams up with this murderer and follows him around killing people????

Onto the rant I wanted to discuss…

This is by far not the first nor last time we have seen this.

We have seen this in popular media that many people like—like fucking danganronpa, where this character loves to use the R slur and be actively racist.

It is an obsession of demonizing mental illness once again. It sucks because now knowing we experience DID makes this trope even harder to enjoy medias with. I love studying psychology, and I already cringe at the absolute bullshit they throw out and label certain disorders. I don’t know why though, but seeing media portrayals around schizophrenia and DID just make my blood boil and anger me to the extra mile.

We are the victims. We are the ones violence is forced on.

Why is it such a fucking obsession??? Honestly, blaming other systems for being the reason we aren’t “taken seriously” is extremely misdirected and false. WE WERE BEING BLAMED FROM THE START!!!

Anyway, I wanted to get this off my chest because it made me fucking mad and it’s also useful for any system who is uncomfortable with this show now because of its decisions.

Terrible all around, for so many reasons. As a comms person I could do a series of Tedtalks about this.

Nevertheless I really pray for Kate’s recovery both physically and mentally.

Yes, its all very sad but could have been prevented with proper management. The Palace Comms Team needs an overhaul.

Exactly. This seems to contradict Kate’s message that she wanted to wait until they told their kids and now they say it’s because of a potential leak? Which is it then and why would they now blame a potential leak? Who does it benefit by changing the story now and why did they even bother to? It’s so bizarre.

I think it’s a bit naive to blame this on KP’s team. The team is only as good as their bosses and William is pretty inept at handling press

This to me has nothing to do with a leak and everything to do with Easter. They knew she wasn’t going to be present for Easter so they had to make an announcement and get out in front of it early.

This was my first thought as I watched Kate’s video. If not for the leak, they still would be silent.

The idea the rota is pushing is it’s all the public’s fault for wildly speculating, and it’s not sitting well with me. It was mostly jokes about Kate being at the Willy Wonka experience or that she was getting a BBL. Then they released the fake photo and AP flagged it.

The papers got pissed because there WAS a story and the Palace wasn’t feeding them, so they turned up the heat. Nobody was talking about Rose Hanbury until The Independent (I think that was the paper) ran that story “Who is Rose Hanbury?” and repeated the old rumors of the affair. And some other online news site ran a story asking what would happen if William committed a crime. And then you had Piers Morgan saying he has heard wild rumors and if even half of them were true, he was concerned.

Yes, there are nasty people out there who gossiped but the media help set this situation on fire. And KP completely bungled the PR response. But they need to spare us the “shame on you all” narrative.

Wishing Kate the best and I hope the people who accessed her medical info are held responsible.

It's the fake photo and AP killing it that set this whole thing into the stratosphere. Before that all noise was limited to a small corner of the internet. No fake photo and ninety-eight percent of mess that happened never would have happened. KP is responsible for the mess and no amount of scolding from the rota will change that.

Sometimes I wonder what their long-term plan was for this? Obviously Kate having cancer would mean she’d need more time away than what they previously let on, so if the conspiracies never took off and they weren’t under a ton of scrutiny, I wonder how/when they would have told the public about her diagnosis, if at all.

Considering how they’ve handled more minor health issues, like William having COVID, I just assume KP never wanted to be transparent in the first place and were forced. Which sucks for Kate but has bad implications for a publicly funded institution IMO.

I don’t think there was ever a longterm plan here. I think everyone was taking it one step at a time and trying to process and figure out what the next step would be.

I’m honestly surprised because I am sure Rebecca English said they didn’t have their hand forced. Plus there were two days between Wed and Friday and any leaks could have occurred then as well. I do think it was getting to the stage it was an open secret witch certain circles.

I don’t understand why this and the “were angry about speculation” stories have been leaked - if they’ve been leaked by W&K and not somebody else. Not going after the alternative theories with this comment rn.

Like, they do want this to die down, right? I’m assuming so, because Kate is sick. I’ve never really cared about her actual illness in this whole debacle, but cancer or not, in her shoes I’d want the least amount of speculation possible. And the “we’re angry about speculation post” before the reveal was not the way to do that. All that was going to do was increase the speculation because if there’s one thing the internet likes doing more than anything else, it’s doing behavior they’ve been told not to.

Now it’s been revealed that Kate has cancer and I think the whole slew of “you’re bad for speculating no matter what the speculation was, even if it wasn’t health-related” posts were bad because they encouraged talk about her even as they were saying people shouldn’t talk about her, but that wasn’t in W&K’s hands so I’m not gonna blame them for that. Either way, the gossip around her did die eventually.

But now they’re bringing it back up of their own accord, if this is them? Why? It was already said that people tried to access her info. If this inside source was BP, revealing this is just bad for the overall family image. It proves Harry was right once again. If it wasn’t, I guess I understand wanting to talk about the source, but it’s still giving attention that I don’t think would be wanted or needed right now.

This is what has fascinated me about the KP PR ever since this entire thing started. It just seems like completely weird decisions over and over and over again.

100% this is a situation of their own making. They literally exist to be seen- what did they think was going to happen if one of them just disappeared? They’re so angry at how everyone reacted but maybe they should take some time to self reflect and see how their own actions and life created this whole mess.

Because the PR/comms team is incompetent and their employers are stubborn with gigantic hubris.

The virtue signaling “everyone participating in the gossip and making jokes and sharing memes should be ashamed!” will never sit well with me. We’ve been shown time and again for decades at this point that their PR is very sloppy.

they're really trying to guilt trip the public for not knowing she had cancer after faking a photo documentation as an official government institution, aren't they?

look, if someone tried to access her.files that's criminal and should be prosecuted whatever. that's another issue. 

but the BRF cannot use fear of public speculation as a tool to divert us from the fact that they faked an image and tried to pass it off as real. this is incredibly problematic on many levels. not only we cannot trust them to pass on truthful info about themselves (which, with their history of throwing women to the wolves, is icky), but as british official representatives, they should be held to all possible standards.

on a personal level, i hope she recovers, her treatment isn't too terrible as in side effects and her kids are able to grow up with her love all around. 

but as someone with basic standards for media and government, and also a citizen of a democracy (in the global south, where we have been victims of rich countries' bullshit explanations), they can all fuck off with this take and blaming.

They even put out a statement around late January where they said she didn’t have cancer. They can’t be surprised that people thought something was up when they weren’t being entirely truthful.

King Charles's team announced he has cancer and just moved on, so did the public. I genuinely don't see why they couldn't have done the same for Catherine. A quick "we did surgery back in December, discovered i might have cancer, will be stepping off the public eye for a few months to seek treatment and spend time with kids" would've done it. Her team is not being asked for her to deal with her emotions in public, the public just wanted to know why she hasn't been seen from or heard from for a long time. They completely bungled this one.

If dumbass extremists could stop promoting the ideology that witchcraft is meant to be used instead of modern medicine that’d be great. Cause not only are you wrong

You’re the reason extremist recons and skeptics hate us.

You are what’s wrong with the witch and Pagan community.

Witchcraft — any type of witchcraft — is a supplement. Like vitamins. Herbalism, crystal healing, energy healing, whatever

Is meant to be used in conjunction with modern medicine.

That is the only way it will work properly.

Skeptics, recons — keep in mind that what doesn’t work for you may work for someone else. And that not everything you don’t believe in or agree with is pure evil👌🏻

Cause I’m so fucking tired of people saying, “Well this type of witchcraft is evil because someone using it caused me trauma.”

We all know that there are assholes in the witch and Pagan community who seek to gatekeep and actively cause harm to people because they’re ableist, racist, queerphobic assholes. But guess what, peeps.

That was your experience and your experience with a certain type of witch/witchcraft does not define the ethics or morals of an entire fucking community. All you’re doing is projecting your trauma onto innocent bystanders.

You need therapy.

That’s not meant as an attack or insult. Its the truth — therapy can help you overcome your trauma and stop being an asshole who blames innocent people for the actions of your abusers.

To recap, witchcraft is meant to be used in conjunction with modern medicine, and it is dangerously naive and irresponsible to think otherwise. If you’re a jackass extremist telling people not to use modern medicine

Its your fault if they die. Yours.

And remember a spell only works if you believe in it — and no, that does not mean you can will your mental illness or broken arm away just by asking for it or trying to manifest it some all power super cure.

“Magic is just science we don’t understand yet.” -Arthur C. Clarke

⬆️ That means that magic and science are the same thing, and they can and should coexist.

Good bye. I hope everyone who bullied me is fucking happy. I hope everyone who got my account deleted is happy. I'm done.

cw: mentions of self-harm and mutilation under the readmore, and also just basic dash consideration. I realize I have not been here in months, owe everything and everyone, etc... which adds an extra layer of mind-bending hilarity to this all.

Stray,

You are both breaking my heart and wearing my last nerve out. I'm only human. I'm not a saint. While I am genuinely very sorry that tumblr deleted your account, did you read the email that they sent to you? I know that you screenshotted it. You have it posted right now on this iteration of your blog.

Truth be told? I don't know if anyone reported your account. I can say with a clear conscience that I didn't. I had no reason to. The last I interacted with you and/or that account was when I was in the comments of your pinned post, talking to you there.

I am not exactly certain that your account would have required much reporting, to be honest. I think that you are imagining a bandwagon of people joining together to work against you, given the way you are currently in several inboxes, calling people bullies and so on. Again, I can say with a completely clear conscience, I have never participated in any such link up or bandwagon against you, or anyone else.

So let's keep it a buck. You do somewhat routinely post about the things mentioned in that email. It's your blog, you have a right to talk about the state of your mental health if you want to, but in this case, it was tumblr itself taking notice and action of the frequency of that, and what specifically you were saying.

Hell, let's go back in time a bit. You and I literally met and became mutuals BECAUSE you posted a farewell note on your blog, several deletions and remakes ago. It was written as if it were a done deal, and having been familiar with your url in the fandom tags, I was immediately worried for you, stranger that you were, and desperate to reach out to you hoping it would come before a too-late kind of moment. You know what the saddest part of that search for you was? Encountering people who did claim to know you and who said, with great shame, that this was somewhat regular for you.

You know it too, because even in our conversations you mentioned having been blamed or accused of attention seeking in the past and having callouts written about you.

The answer is right there, Stray. Your blog was deleted for mentions of self-harm. You may not have been glorifying it or promoting it, but you posted about it enough that you finally tripped a flag somewhere. That's it. That's all it is.

As for the rest? This is the second time you're calling me a bully. Yet again, I am asking you to prove it. Please show me the instances in which I bullied you, or the actions that I took against you. What, exactly, did I do? Because to the best of my recollection? I spent a while trying to be your friend, trying to be as supportive as I could be, introducing you to other friends of mine to help widen your circle, gaming with you, plotting things to write with you and then the one night I couldn't stay up late to talk with you because I was literally recovering from being incredibly ill AND had to take my son to an appointment the next day... ended up with you having sent me overnight screenshots of deleting your blog and either blocking or unfriending me on discord. Which one of those things was the bullying, Stray? Because the way I see it? You're the one who ditched me the second I couldn't be of use to you.

last but not least, rumor out of the hell part of this country says you have a problem with sharing mutuals. you don't like it when someone you like writes or interacts with someone you don't like and that may be the root cause of your distress. if so, rumors of my and @lt-ghxst's relationship are both greatly exaggerated and misunderstood. it's not my fault I tagged and bagged him, as that is what you do with wild gators. however, if he has slighted you, I don't take any responsibility for him. he's untrained and not yet housebroken. it's a miracle if I can get him to only piss outdoors. he bites. he's ornery and nasty-tempered. Honestly, he should probably be put to sleep but I am determined to break him in.

“You can’t blame Remus for not lifting a finger to help Harry or Sirius because all these people who were not best friends with Harry/Sirius and wouldn’t know anything about the situation didn’t either 😡😡” Actually I can and I will! Especially when a certain contingent of the fandom wants to castigate Sirius for stuff he did in fanfic. And also wants to whine about why Harry didn’t appreciate Remus more or why he wasn’t named godfather. Or conveniently ignore that even after him and Harry struck up a relationship in third year, he dropped that kid like a hot potato and had virtually nothing to do with him until he could mooch off Sirius’s house! You guys made this bed when you decided to anoint him the saint of the universe, now go lie in it

Every time one of these lands in my inbox I'm just like

I love chaos so much hahahahaha

Okay but YES to all of this. My favorite is when people are like "well Sirius obviously didn't care about Harry either since he got himself locked up in prison!!!" Like, the mental gymnastics for that one are astounding, I wish I had what those people were smoking.

And saying that Remus struck up a relationship with Harry in POA is kind of a stretch, haha, Remus couldn't even be bothered to teach Harry the Patronus charm until Harry begged and begged, and wasn't ever going to tell Harry about knowing James until he had no other choice.

I wouldn't really call him a mooch though, if my rich friend offered me a haunted house to live in for free, you bet my not-rich chronically-ill ass would be sleeping over there every night (citation: I am chronically-ill and not rich).

Look, the guy's had it rough, and I'm not going to deny that, but the way that the fandom makes him into this wholesome handsome buff jock romance hero and ignores everything he did that failed Harry and Sirius....absolutely baffling. You're taking all the interesting bits away when you do that.

lmao thank you for this chaos, I definitely needed it today. <3

first of all, this is a lie on all fronts. i saw Brittany's screenshots of the conversations she had with LO while they were still friends. i read Brittanny telling both tara (fake identity of LO) and LO multiple times that she wasn't sexually attracted to LO in any sort of way. she loved her, cared about her and felt safe with her even as LO was pre-coming out but she just couldn't consider her a romantic or sexual partner, despite how many times both accounts pressured and guilt tripped Brittany into giving in. i saw Brittany constantly speaking about how making sexual rpg with a pre-coming out LO was painful because of past traumatic experiences in the past, which only resulted on both tara and LO pressuring her further. Patch was manipulated financially and emotionally in order to comply to LO's fantasies. LO was fully aware that Patch was a mentally ill disabled person with a lot of trauma and she fully took advantage of that in order to have the kind of porn she wanted to, to the point that Patch legitimately felt like LO was cheating on Lizzy with them. Lizzy's twitlonger was just a futher confirmation of both those stories as they align perfectly. Lizzy would tell LO that she was uncomfortable with something LO wanted of her, LO would keep pressing until Lizzy gave in and when Lizzy tried to have an honest talk about how she still didn't enjoyed the thing she didn't want to do, LO would flip and make it Lizzy's fault. case in point, Lizzy told LO that she was uncomfortable with how LO invited everyone on her blog to come talk about what they would do to LO in sexual scenarios because it felt like public cheating. LO apoligized about it, calling it "the worst thing i have ever done" and Lizzy thought everything was fine... until LO opened up a separate blog entirely dedicated to her sexual rp with strangers (whose ages she was incapable of confirming) the very next day. one of the incidents Lizzy told was one where the pressure of doing sexual art she wasn't comfortable with was so great that Lizzy ended crying during a skype call. instead of offering any kind of understanding or grace, as a response LO got mad at her saying "now you're making me feel like an asshole", as if Lizzy was the one at fault. all these people either explicitely told LO what their boundaries were or LO should have known better than to ask certain things from them in the first place, only for LO to happily keep pressing on to get what she wanted and then get upset when they weren't happy about it. those boundaries were there, clear as they can be, but LO never took them seriously enough for her to stop.

that's exactly what LO is talking about on that response, down to try to make this into a fault from Lizzy's part. the part that i marked with red are those that look all the more telling to me of how LO never even bothered to look anything from Lizzy's perspective. if she knew already that LO would always get angry and flip at her at the minor sign of conflict, then it makes sense that she (who was only 19 when they started dating) would feel like it was best to bottle things up instead of talking it out. i can't blame her for reacting like this if she already knew by then that talking didn't meant anything, that LO would continue to do whatever she wanted no matter how she felt about it, that her boundaries would be ignored regardless. this fundamental lack of compassion is something we have talked about before here, where LO made it seem like the depression of a friend was in fact their fault and then seemingly didn't considered how this could affect that friend. i talked that given the response of LO then of course any friend she had that was struggling would prefer to not confide on her if that was the kind of response they'd get. same thing here when she talks about this alledged tendency of Lizzy of "lying" to her. more than that... "getting mad at crossing boundaries you never knew were there?" that is exactly what LO does whenever she gets mad at people for trying to give her free fanart on a specific style she didn't like or for asking how she was when she didn't want to or send her any other kind of positive message at a time when LO didn't feel like recieving one. there was no way for any of those people to have a clear idea of what to expect from LO and LO still treated them as if they had intentionally wronged her, going as far as to not accepting any apology after the fact. this is pure projection from her part. again. this is all what we're talking about when we refer to how LO shows a certain pattern of behaviour of an abuser.

second of all... this is a very obvious example of a self send anon because how would anon know about any of this? when did Lizzy admitted she never communicated her boundaries? when did Brittany or Patch? i read and heard the accounts of all of these people. Patch's story is a little more complicated because of all the other factors on their life, but both Brittany and Lizzy were always very clear about what they didn't want to deal with. anon just said a bold faced lie and then LO went on to treat it as indispustable fact.

Submission: This is an analysis from @drizzletide and me.

Okay let's dissect this lil video shall we.

Anti hero is a song about mental illness, depression, self doubt and anxiety? Rings a bell with a certain experience? Let's not get ahead of ourselves.

The video begins with Taylor being haunted by her own ghosts. We can easily link each one to a specific genre for Taylor: the one with the hat is her country self, sunglasses one is the pop self from Red and 1989.

Her ghosts chase and torment her from the past. She tries to find help but the phone is broken, so she feels isolated. And in that moment who comes to the rescue? Lover era Taylor.

Lover era Taylor is problematic, she drives her to the worst parts of her. She encourages her to indulge in substance abuse and furthers her sense of loneliness. If we were to go with the theory that Lover was supposed to be a coming out album then we can easily put the picture together. That Taylor was the most unhinged, but also the saddest because of how things had to turn out. That Taylor is not a ghost because she is not dead yet. She is alive and screaming in her mind.

Lover Taylor reveals her problematic self. After things go wrong, she teaches Taylor how she has to be. Everyone will betray her, and such will be her public narrative from now on. Taylor takes notes with a fountain pen, meaning those lyrics will be the constructed ones from now on, the curated ones. Everything is an artifact. A work of art.

Taylor recalls the times when she tried to let the glitter, her insides, the not so straight, not so media curated part of her. She sees that side everywhere, even when eating, and when pierced through he heart by the media it shows and bleeds. The people sitting at her table see this, the people that eat and thrive because of the home Taylor built with her music and the food she provided to them. These are the media, the public. They see what is inside of her and they run, afraid of the unexpected, afraid of instability. She is huge. She has become too much to manage.

She is alone now, left to her own devices. The only consolation she has to put a patch on her bleeding wound is a Vote sticker, a political statement that still won't fix the situation. Lover Taylor brought her there, but she is not with her to celebrate. The bottle is empty.

So, Taylor dies. She is tired. Exhausted.

And to the people she created, her sons, she leaves a will. Her sons are the Swifties.

The older, married son is the general public. The colorful, younger son is the fans that do not believe the pr narrative they were fed.

Those fans are younger. They emerged later in her career.

They argue over the will, because from Taylor Swift the artist, the public figure, they expected better.

They will not accept such a plain will, because there has to be a secret meaning, some hidden message.

But Taylor herself, even from the grave where her own sons put her, states it. There is no secret message in Midnights. What you see is what you get. She has been completely sincere this time around.

And the fans argue. Because they put the blame on each other.

She just wanted to be herself and celebrate. But the son and daughter in law, a woman who clings to Fearless and the older Taylor, killed her.

The younger son knows it. He is sure. A fight ensues. Chaos. Taylor regrets leaving things to be.

She decides to just isolate, herself and her Lover side again. Because she was afraid being sincere wouldn't work.

But while she may indulge in the same self-destructive habits, there comes another part of herself. The one that gives her anxiety, the one that is too big to manage by now.

She finally realizes that all parts of herself are what make her a whole, and she rejoices in being alone, by herself, away from people who want her for money and people who want to force their version of Taylor on her.

She was sincere. She doesn't care how it will go downstairs. She has told her own truth and that is the last time she will remark it- her own will, her testament, her legacy. She has been clear, but she wants to be by herself now, on her own rooftop, school girl crushes or not, it doesn't matter. Because she is finally at peace with who she is. And she hopes we are, too.

genuine question here, is it not a good skill to learn to explain symptoms outside of diagnostic language? i'm sometimes unable to do certain house chores or tasks if i'm having an awful brain week (i'm on the autism spectrum and my sensory issues are the first thing to get bad when everything else is going bad). i could tell my coworker "hey i'm on the autism spectrum and the sound of the shop vac makes me overstimulated to the point that it's painful and could cause a panic attack" or i could say "hey, would you mind vacuuming today? the sound of the vacuum is really painful for me. i'll wipe down countertops." i resist using diagnostic language in general bc i don't think it's anyone else's business what neurodivergencies i have, and i don't think people should have to out their diagnoses in order to be taken seriously.

i understand completely that the OP uses blaming and somewhat language about their symptoms, and that only creates shame. but something we talk about about wrt accessibility is the fact that some people's symptoms are incompatible with other people's symptoms. someone having a meltdown might be incompatible with my sensory issues around sudden or persistent loud noises. is it not okay to acknowledge that without self-shaming?

it is not someone's fault if they are having an episode or meltdown and they should not self-shame for that, or apologize as if it's something wrong that they did that they should work to change. but i think acknowledging the way that meltdown might impact others is also part of living in a community. isn't this the whole point of redirecting behavior? is it ableist to compromise at "my bedroom is my safe space to have a meltdown, but i understand doing it in the living room makes the living room impossible for you to work in"?

again these are genuine questions because i never want someone to feel shame for any symptoms they experience, especially ones they can't control. but OP's example was about their RSD causing them to hurt their friend and blame them for something they didn't do. is there not a middle ground here? sometimes symptoms are things we cannot control and shouldn't be shamed for, and also things that can hurt others, and i don't think i should need to give someone my diagnostic history to prove i need that accommodation.

to begin with, yes i agree that it's a vital skill to learn to discuss symptoms without using diagnostic language. i'm not going to get into the issue of psych diagnosis and diagnostic language in general but yeah, it's important to be able to get away from it for the reasons you mentioned. there's no reason you should have to disclose diagnoses in order to be accommodated/understood.

i think op of the screenshotted post was using the diagnostic language as a strawman: the person making a "bad apology" says the name of their symptom (which we're supposed to believe is the wrong thing to do), while the person making a "good apology" doesn't mention any symptoms but describes them instead. but as you demonstrated with your vacuum example, it's perfectly possible to say the exact same things with and without diagnostic language. so really the "good apology" could've said "i have rsd" as well and still been a good apology for the sake of op's argument.

all that^ is to say, diagnostic language itself is not what i took issue with in the screenshotted post.

my issue with the screenshotted post (and the point being made by the person who screenshotted it) is less to do with specific language and more to do with the attitude of people who want to "depathologize" everything SO much to the point where symptoms of mental illness/neurodivergence become basically a personality trait that is wholly your responsibility to keep under control, and something you must apologize for when it has any negative effect on other people.

i think the point being made in that post, or at least the point i'm making right now, is that sometimes people's symptoms suck for the people around them. it's unfortunate, but that's just life, and sometimes it's nobody's fault and nobody has to take such deep personal responsibility for it that they feel genuine shame.

think of it this way: if i have a meltdown, it's out of EVERYBODY'S control, not just mine. if i could prevent it, i would. if my friend could prevent it, they would. and it sucks for everyone involved, we're ALL having a bad time. so beyond a perfunctory "i'm sorry that sucked so bad", why should i be apologizing and beating myself up and promising to do better next time when i know i can't?

now of course there's middle ground - there's rarely a firm line between "in control" and "out of control" especially when it comes to emotional outbursts, and yes people have conflicting needs. nobody is saying it's ableist to acknowledge this, or to expect people to try their best. what IS ableist is how the burden of "compromise" is so much more often placed on the person experiencing the symptoms to stop being such a problem for everyone around them. even in your living room example, the person having a meltdown is expected to do everything they can to not disrupt people but you make no mention of the person who's being disrupted having to, like, just cope with it, because sometimes shit happens. i'm not saying the person with symptoms has no responsibility or should NEVER have to apologize if they hurt someone. i'm just saying sometimes there's no winners in situations like these and that compromise and understanding need to come from both sides

I don't think it's good or productive or helpful to divide people into "good" mentally ill people who "take responsibility" and "put in the work" and "recognize that they need to change their behavior" and go to therapy and love it and take meds happily and like. "Bad" mentally ill people who are "anti-recovery" and won't "take the most basic steps towards getting better" despite "merely" having depression and/or anxiety because they are "immature crybabies" who are "allergic to accountability" and "want everything handed to them with no effort" while they harm and leech off others by not being "in recovery" (whatever that means).

Like I get being annoyed at a certain type of incredibly obnoxious internet person who yells for 5 paragraphs that you are basically a fascist because you said that getting out of the house can be helpful for mental health, or that you should tey to do one or two minor but crucial self care things like teeth brushing, even when it's really bad.

But like. It is not at all helpful to people who are IN THE MIDST of a major depressive episode to be bombarded withposts about how much they suck, are lazy, are horrible to be around, and have only themselves to blame for their own misery and should just get off their asses and take responsibility for their own shitty choices. Can you see how and why that might be unhelpful?

I feel like a lot of people think that an important part of being a Good Mentally Ill Person is internalizing that you suck and constantly being on an atonement tour and like. Idk but that sounds worse to me and if the options for life are being horribly depressed or spending the rest of life walking 1000 miles through the desert on your knees, or your brain magically fixing itself, that's fucking bleak.

Dutch van der Linde is not the only one with faults. But I love how people act like he is!

But somehow his faults and shortcomings are the only one where we see fans interested in complaining about bringing up causing debates and mayhem over the most.

You have the woman you love die brutally at the hands of another rival gang member leader. And then the man you've been friends with for 20 plus years you watch him get shot in his chest by a piece of shit coward who's only interested in protecting the interest of Elites. A agency that attacks working protesters that are under minimum wage and even has killed them for protesting.

You are the leader of one of the most successful Outlaw gang probably and recorded fictional history. And watch it burn to ashes because of a mole named Micah planted there. (I don't care what nobody says Mr Bell had dark intentions from the beginning)

You have the law from every direction coming against you. And after you watch your best friend and another guy that you looked at like a son get brutally killed you don't even have time to sit there and grieve over it because you have to worry about everyone and everything else. As soon as you watch them die you're stranded on some Island thousands of miles away from your Homeland being hunted in another war that don't have shit to do with you. No matter where you go you're being hunted for some reason even when you have nothing to do with their War they just want you.

You're accused of being fake and accused of not wanting to retrieve your adopted son out of a correctional facility. Simply because fans who hate you judge you too harshly but they're not trying to see reason. You knew that they were going to hold John there knowing your history of busting your fellow man out. And they were basically using him as bait. People spend their time making fun of you always saying you got a plan but they didn't really consider why you held off on trying to rescue John.

No one even gave you a chance to see if you could come up with a plan yeah I get people where paranoid because there was talks of hanging in but I doubt they would have did that. Because they knew who John was to you.

Oh let's not forget you being blamed about wanting to do the robbery in Saint Denis when it was actually Hosea's idea to begin with when you were actually against it. But because fans are known to run through this game and not thoroughly investigate certain things that goes over their heads.

To try to make a long story short we all know what happens after he returned to america. Everything goes to ship because he can no longer trust those that's closest to him because of paranoia and what may have you and this is a natural occurrences in gangs.

Let's talk about the fact that in spite of all your faults after it's all said and done you come back to kill Micah along with your Prodigal Son and even leave him the money that was stolen. In spite of your shortcomings you did try to make things right in spite of the bitterness still left there and even that's not enough.

Oh I forgot that bring up that accident he happened on the tram. He suffered a concussion and he was all so probably dealing with other underlying mental illnesses he could have had a little bit of bipolar or borderline personality disorder going on. You got to understand the times Dutch was living in wasn't exactly Hands-On with therapy and mental health crisis. Or knowing how to help a concussion. You can tell after that accident he started to really lose it. It contribute to already an existing problem going on with that man. But y'all like to overlook a lot of things as usual.

You're accused of being a narcissistic sociopath after doing this because you know your haters like to believe that everything you did from there on out was just about you you were doing it to serve your own ego when we know that's not the case you see how they have to make shit up just to fit their cause. His apologies don't need to do such thing. Dutch apologists don't make excuses for his wrong and shortcoming we acknowledge them we're just pointing out the reasons for a lot of the things he have done. Being aware of the reasons and making excuses for them are two completely different things. I don't expect people who have one dimensional mindset who are closed-minded who act like they don't touch grass on a regular basis and who are basically cookie cutter copy and paste commenters that are all saying the same thing that the next person said because they don't think for themselves obvious are going to go along with that bullshit.

With all of this being said tell me this, if you were in this position tell me if you could be able to keep it all together?

So easy to judge when you sitting comfortable.

We all love to say what we would and wouldn't do when we're not in the same spot someone else's judging from the outside looking in. It's easy to talk shit and judge when you sitting comfortable like I said. Go figure.

But carry on.