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#bc I am about to be so broke next semester

aleksa-sims · 4 months

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RL Simself Story

CW: trauma

P. was finally done with his semesters abroad!🥳 A year passed, things seemed to be back to normal and yet, so much has changed for every single one of us. I was glad he was there. All the arguments & fights he and I had, were almost forgotten. What remained is our close friendship. And Philip saved Daniel’s life. He was always there for me and he was by my side when I thought D. would die. 😞Without P., I would never have survived that..... horrible night in the ER. I could not speak, was injured and afraid Daniel would not survive it. Yea, all this (still) went through my mind.....

However, last year, was tough for P. too. Suddenly he had a Baby he didn’t know about!! He had to take care of Annabelle alone. Isabella took off! Her parents are wealthy people. With their lawyers, they managed to take over full custody of Annabelle. But Ana & I, will help P. & Annabelle. I got an idea how Philip could get custody back. I mean, he had a good job, an apartment, and he didn’t have to go abroad. So why could or should Isabella’s parents keep custody of his Baby? There was absolutely no reason, to keep a child away from his biological parent. 🤷‍♀️

Also Nico and Philip weren’t fighting anymore. N. told Philip that I am pregnant. But he broke up with me bcs he felt like, I didn’t want to divorce Daniel. Anyway. I was a little scared to stay there that night, bcs of Ana. She was completely wasted. She was talking a bunch of crap!!! 😒 Damien caught us giggling outside Nico’s front door. He was in the bathroom where the window was slightly open. He could hear everything Ana and I were talking about.🤦‍♀️But at this point he didn’t mention it yet! He just opened the door for us. In the next part it gets even more awkward. Just saying Ana!! She hasn’t seen Nico again, since he and I were back together. So... it might get a little uncomfortable.😬

And I didn’t have a.... wet dream about Damien & Daniel. Not really! However, it was not hot or as Damien called it, wet! But honestly? This is no surprise. Just look at Damien! You’d think he and Daniel were twins. That’s probably why I had this dream? It just overwhelmed me.

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #rl story #myrlgameplay #cw addiction #cw pregnancy #cw babies #tw trauma #cw violence

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galaxae · 6 months

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if youre still doing the ocverse ask game, 3 and 19? 🥺

ougghhh i so totally still am. i'm mainly fixated on my stupid ass video game idea (working title is gods don't bleed but i want to change it bc it doesn't fit as well anymore)

forgive me if this is incoherent, my boyfriend dislocated his knee so i have to care for him, and work has been terrible and burned me out, so i'm definitely leaving some stuff out of my answers :(, but whatever!!

3.) any recurring images/elements?

absolutely yes. lots of imagery of plants and animals, for one. fire vs. ice too, yes i know it's a very commonly used trope but i like playing around with those two things, especially when i get to kinda subvert expectations with them. similarly with light vs. dark. and also colors vs black and white, both in terms of morality and in terms of actual visuals

19.) describe the sillies you think about but that dont go in the story.

in my mind, charity and fabian (the first two playable characters, and close friends) are exes. it's probably not going to be canonized, but it's also not going to be explicitly denied, so...

their first date was incredibly awkward, by the way. fabian was an ignorant rich kid who loved to pry and stick his nose in others' business and not let up until he knew everything about a situation, while charity was freshly in the "my mom and i were homeless, got taken in by a man, and then that man turned out to be very very bad so we had to flee the state and come to this small piece of shit town where no one realizes how privileged they are, and this all sucks, and i don't want to talk about it" mindset. they were also both 14-15 which is the worst age to be. they broke up so fast after this but now they've got a really solid friendship going a few years later, and charity has a different (cooler) partner

also, so many silly bits of dialogue that... i'm not sure they'll go into the game at all, or if they do, whether they'll just be optional bits. but some favorites include (formatted sorta like they would be in my script document):

KIMBERLY: Oh, hey, Fabián, you're in French 2 with me next semester. JAMAL: Wh... what? People actually take French? I thought that was a myth. FABIÁN: Well, I already know Spanish since everyone on my mom's side and, like, half of my dad's side speaks it. So I thought taking Spanish would be way too easy. CHARITY: You stupid son of a bitch. That's exactly why you should take Spanish.

ACE: Holy shit, I just got stung by a bee! FABIÁN: Are you ok??? Ace pulls the stinger out of their face ACE: LOOK! It's still pumping venom! That's so cool! CHARITY: What the fuck is wrong with you? ACE: What's wrong with you? Lookit!

JAMAL: Hey. Kimbie. KIMBERLY: Don't call me that, please. What is it? JAMAL: Spell ICUP. KIMBERLY: "ICUP?" JAMAL: Spell it. KIMBERLY: That's not a real word. Fake words don't have spellings. JAMAL: Can you at least try? KIMBERLY: Oh. Wait. I see. I-K-U-P. JAMAL: ... KIMBERLY: Does that suffice? Jamal looks as though he's about to cry. [Later that same day] JAMAL: Hey, uh, hey Kimbi-- Kimberly. Is it just me, or is your outfit kind of, uh, "updog?" KIMBERLY: What? JAMAL: Your outfit's kind of "updog." KIMBERLY: What does "updog" mean? JAMAL: ........Can you........... rephrase that, please? KIMBERLY: ? No. JAMAL: :/

also, there's a period of time when kimberly is in 9th grade where she gets really intensely into astrology. specifically so that she can Know A Lot About A Thing that other people don't know as much about. she'll see someone doing something, walk up to them and be like "what are you, an aries venus?" and when they don't understand the reference she'll be like "never mind :)" and feel smart. she no longer does this in the game because she realizes that's so cringe. and she has OTHER science to do, dammit!! (like proving the Weird Kid at school is a literal alien)

another fun fact: kimberly (resident genius) and jamal (who does not give a shit about academics) play chess together one time and jamal wins because kimberly is so perplexed by his newbie moves that she doesn't know how to respond to them.

oh... i didnt realize i had this many sillies... cool :)

yall are encouraged to send more asks if you want i love these blorbos

#ocs tag #adrian posts

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splenda-cult · 9 months

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TW ED/ANA RANT

This was written about 4 days ago

Everything suck. I just want to curl up into a ball and stop existing.

My dysphoria’s just been getting worse lately.

I’m on my last 2 days of my first semester of uni and I don’t think I’m gonna get into the honours program bc of my gpa. My computer’s not been working for a couple of day and I was already SUPER behind (it’s hard to go focus on schoolwork when all you can think about is food). I spent 4 hours trying to get it fixed yesterday.

I told my bf that I relapsed in the past-tense and he was so supportive but ik I’m not ready to recover yet. I had a dinner date w/ him and broke my 3-day fast.

I waited 2 hours next to a screaming toddler and her iPad playing YouTube at full blast for a 20 minute appointment. And for the doctor to say I couldn’t go on the weight loss injections I wanted to go on.

I have 3 photoshoots W my twin this weekend and I feel huge.

I have a twin. She’s a gothy/ grunge tomboy. She’s tall with long, gushing red hair. She’s light skin, buff and heavy.

I’m the opposite

I’m a short bimboy that’s dressed like a clown or a cowboy 24/7. I have short curly virgin hair and am brown-skinned. I used to be almost hourglass but with a smaller bust. It was the contrast between us that people liked. Now….

I love my sister. It’s just that…. Like wearing orange-Some people can rock a good orange- while others tend to look washed out- just how some people look good chubby and some people don’t. I am NOT one of those people

#ana dairy #ana trigger #ed bllog #male ed #bipoc ana #boy ana #ed not ed sheeran #ana rant #poc ana #poc ed #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #tw ana shit #tw ed rant #tw disordered eating #ed vent #ed rant

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dykefaggotry · 2 years

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not to ebeg and yall absolutely do not have to do anything but I figured I'd post on here bc ik some ppl have had some success. but until now financial aid/loans has covered my school expenses but next semester I'm going to have to pay abt $200 extra a month to stay on a payment plan. on top of that I finally got my license and am going to have to start paying car insurance and gas (not sure how much insurance is going to be since I couldn't get an accurate quote until passing the driving test which was yesterday but from everything I'm seeing it's about $100+). I make $12.75 an hour and on top of all that have $460 in rent and various other bills that add up (next most expensive that's not split w my boyfriend being an $89 phone bill).

anywayyyy all that is to say that I'll Survive and if nothing else I have about $3.5k in credit limits but I don't necessarily want to fuck over my credit by relying on that, but looking at how severe finances are going to get very soon I'm probably going to need to find a new job that pays better and has full time benefits. (issue rn is that if this job gives me a raise I lose medicaid/food stamps, so I'll need one with benefits to make up for that loss)

rn is just particularly rough bc I've been scheduled less hours the last couple weeks and had to take off almost an entire week of work next week

so if anyone has anything extra (and please don't give anything if you're also broke) it'd be much appreciated

paypal:

#somehow I've escaped the shame of asking for money that a lot of us have shdgshsh my parents would kill me but like #there's no shame in it imo and I likely won't get anything but I've learned it doesn't hurt to ask

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overturetoanadventure · 1 year

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Yesterday I kayaked at a state park that was a four hour drive, one way, with some friends to celebrate my upcoming birthday. The space was so so so beautiful. It felt really nice to see different friends get along well! Our music tastes didn’t align as a group but we made it work (and I think all four of us are a bit too polite (there’s a better word but not wanting to think hard rn) and after garnering reactions from the first run of songs, we started asking to skip stuff that was already created by the Spotify blend lol). While on the river, we came across a mom and her daughter; the daughter got lots of anxiety halfway into the trip as they floated along. The mom asked us if we know how much longer it would be for them to reach the next drop off point and how they could arrive quicker. I was on a tandem kayak with one of the friends and we offered to tie the rope connecting their tubes together to the back of our kayak. They then joined us for the remainder of the kayak trip. It felt so nice to be able to help them!! Then, after we returned our paddles and vests, we changed and we’re eating snacks while gathered around the trunk. There was a lady who parked next to us that i had seen on the river that wore such a cute outfit and had killer eyeliner so I commented on her makeup! She had brought her own kayak and was struggling to put it on top of the car so we offered to help her. It made me remember the mom conversing with another guy on a tube we came across in which she remarked that she was going to ask him for help but he was too far ahead and instead got there with girl power. Girls/women really do rock :-) I would like to go back there with a full day lined up so that we can go tubing after we kayak as well!! I woke up today in such a great mood thanks to the joy from yesterday!!

I watched memoirs of a geisha with a dear friend yesterday. Before we began the movie my mom called and I can’t remember but some part of our conversation pissed me off and i felt irritated even after ending the call but I was trying really hard to keep those feelings internal and enjoy the movie but she asked if I just wanted her to leave and I felt really bad so I tried to do a lil meditation inside my head and it really did help!! The movie was really good! I remember annotating my copy of the book back in the summer after I graduated high school and rereading it through my freshman semester too so I vaguely remembered the plot but I’m glad that she ended up with the chairman in the end. I’ll miss hanging out like this and am trying to somehow store the shared happiness away for when I’ll, no doubt, miss her presence and affection after she lives abroad. Neither of us are big texters; I do much better with in person communication so distance is a big issue for me unfortunately. Proximity is also the largest factor in relationships which is backed by research.

Moving on, ended the night with watching the finale of the last of us and then dissecting it as a group and sharing our thoughts. I think I would’ve done the same exact thing as Joel, and also like the callback to that ‘crazy’ lady who was hunting Henry bc he had sold out her brother to fedra for medication for his own little brother in the whole ‘what lengths are you willing to go to for your loved ones, even if that’s not what they would want for you to do’ as her brother would have likely forgiven Henry were he in that situation and similarly, though idk about life ending brain surgery for a potential cure but Ellie clearly wanted to go through with working with the fireflies to help find a cure and Joel defies that due to his now accepted role as a parental figure and the associated love and attachment and somewhat manipulation (again not the right word but idc rn) that it entails to parent a child. I was really saddened by the fact that he broke the one constant in their rocky relationship which was trust in honest communication. It’ll be heartbreaking whenever she has to confront with both herself and him that he lied to her about something so important when she tried to offer him an opportunity to come clean.

Also I know the whole ‘I know you say like you me but do you actually hate me’ thing feels overdone as a society and I very much hate that I still have feelings like this about people I’ve been friends with for a little bit if not a few years now. I know for my own self that I go through phases where honestly just being around people is too much and interacting often feels overwhelming and I start to get annoyed by them and that it’s not actually personal. I’m trying to tell myself that if I am capable of feeling this way but still loving those people at the end of the day, then I should be okay with sitting with the idea of my friends being annoyed by or disliking me sometimes. But like idk what’s wrong with me but I’m like well if you don’t like me then I feel that im worth less. It’s really annoying being aware of my people pleasing tendencies too because I constantly question whether im actually a kind person or if my kindness in any situation is driven by the need to be liked. I know this goes back to childhood trauma and blah blah blah but like I’ve already talked this shit through in therapy twice can’t I just be a stupid airhead that’s confident in herself and her relationships. It feels gross to want constant validation. Fuck.

Oh. Also??? My face and neck, and especially the bottom area of the skin under my eyes feels so dry and tight and itchy. It’s all a bit red and my neck is very splotchy. I can’t discern if this is the work of allergies bc I’d never experienced allergic reactions (or was aware of it at least) before or if I somehow went too hard on the retinol?? And I’ve been slathering my skin in like three layers of different moisturizers without drying my face even after I wash it but no dice. I might just have to buy Zyrtec or Benadryl tomorrow and see if it helps. The power of deductive reasoning to the rescue.

#dear diary

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khaleesiofalicante · 2 years

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My semester is finally over!!! Hell yeah, I'm so fucking happy for it kdhdkdjdk

I mean this week we didn't do shit besides getting some grades and messing around... But still!!

I had the wonderful idea of playing basketball with classmates 100% better than me, and I hadn't trained in a while, AND it was for two days straight, more than 2 hours each one, so absolutely all my body hurts (I kinda injured some fingers but let's ignore that) 😂 it was still so much fun...

Also, today I just went to pick some documents to my school, and I was about to go home but a friend invited me and other girl to drink some coffee (his girlfriend just broke up with him so he is reaaaally sad) and we actually had a great time!! I'm glad I agreed bc I was about to decline lmao

Oh, and I changed my phone and almost lost all my tlnd favorite quotes!!! Fortunately, I could save them :) But I lost the links to lmlt and lbaf!! Do you by any chance have them?

Anyway, I am extremely tired, but at least I had a good day and I could also get my work done😎 It's 3 a.m here (yeah, I know, I know. I'll go to sleep in a while) but I wanted to come here and say hi!!

I haven't been here a lot recently, so how have you been? Lots of work? Taking a well deserved break once in a while?

I won't be here to scream about this chapter but I already feel there are going to be some tears...

Byeee. Sending you great vibes bc apparently I have a lot of them for these days!! ilyyy💚

CONGRATS ON FINISHING THE SEMESTER AND MAKING IT OUT ALIVE. THESE ARE THE REAL ACHIEVEMENTS ISTG.

Why would you voluntarily choose to play sports? Noah! Are you okay? Blink twice if you need help!!!

spending time with people who broke up is either super fun or super depressing. there is no in-between. I'm glad you had fun!!!

Finishing a semester can be physically exhasuting. I hope you take the time to sleep and rest and let your body recover! I'm okay. one of my projects is in full swing now and will be like that until end of august so i am gonna be stressed for the next two months lol.

hope you are having a greaaaat weekend.

ps - about the quotes. which links are you referring to? the moodboards you made?

#noah boo thang

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solsticejrnl · 3 months

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Quarter :P

Trying to account for 366 days is doable, but I wanna break it into more feasible quarterly stuff. I've had 2 weeks to just be, and I started spring semester a week ago so I've found my footing and groove in my schoolwork. Now, I wanna actually consider the goals I want to achieve by March. I'm thinking off the top of my head about what I want that is feasible if I put the excuses aside and work for it by then.

The first thing that came to mind is fitness. Today I did yoga, which was good. I did it for an hour before my first class. After rotting in bed, I got out of bed, and that's what matters. No gym because I didn't wake up early enough and the machines were taken when I got back to my dorm. That's an excuse. I need to start 3x a week gym and daily yoga and stretching until I have enough endurance to add in pilates exercises. I KNOW what I want to look like and I don't think I truly have it in me to keep being the one staring and wishing I were someone else. we gotta switch the roles, and quickly. my goal is temi ojora. yes I have an unhealthy fixation on her, but she's just so aspirational. she runs track so maybe its her, maybe its track body but I need to get my ass up rn if this is my goal.

Like I don't even want to compare, but she stands out physically among people, and I wanna do the same! I have the platform: long limbs, long torso, long legs, straight shoulders etc etc etc I just need to get to work.

The next is nutrition. Now, today I ate one meal bc I'm busy and I'm trying to downsize my appetite forreal. I'm trying the whole 80% health and nutrition and 20% indulgence thing rn and honestly just thugging out my cravings. no liquid cals, no crazy sweet treats, no greasy fast food, no junk snacks. my chest hurt writing that bc i ate a burger and 2 cookies yesterday, and i could honestly conquer the world at that point ughhh. but today the dining served literal slop so i ate white rice with spinach and pulled pork just so i could have flavor on the rice and I intentionally didn't finish. but I'm doing better with nutrition lowkey. I'm tall asf I burn mad calories anyways.

SCHOOL. I'm doing this project, and it's lowkey crushing me. I have a civil engineering class and architecture ones. I just want to chillllll bro. But I want the life any way I might as well be willing to think. I'm on the dean's list already. I wanna get on the president's list this semester, so I'm trying to get there by all means.

I'm tired of being broke so I'm getting a job. I already applied and got a callback so I'm actually bringing them my documents tmr. i just want my first-ever paycheck bro. I feel soooo bad spending bc I have no money ever bc I only get an allowance. if I had a job I could get credit and do things and actually feel grown.

I've been feeling things and the things are feeling like I'm missing something. I feel like I need to do more inner work. I place too much value on people outside of me and look for attention in all the wrong places, I stay in situations due to attachment, I'm not self-aware, and I need to get myself together and find motivation out of mediocrity. I'm gonna go back to therapy and have actual goals for it instead of just venting and leaving.

So yeah this quarter is about me: my mind, my body, my money, and my relationship to myself and to work and to my situation.

if it is a situation i can correct, then wtf am I waiting for. My actions simply must align with my goals.

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vriska-serketboard · 4 months

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Random stuff I saw in my 1st semester that I just kind of wanted to list:

-noodles stuck in the BATHROOM SINK

-someone put a full dining hall cup of tea in the bathroom trash upright. Like girl there is a sink less than a foot away just pour it out

-another person put almost an entire bag of like chocolate and caramel covered popcorn snacks in the trash while I was in the bathroom. The bag was sealed and I mayyyy have taken it out of the trash after she left, washed the bag in the sink, and ate the entire thing while watching lotms the next day

-the whole whiteboard culture. A bunch of ppl have whiteboards on their doors and they put polls in them. There’s this guy named Spencer and one of his friends likes to write Spencer’s name as an extra option on polls or like just write his name on whiteboards

-this one was uhhh not good but I was walking down the hall to the bathroom and we had this big board with a bunch of flyers for different campus resources on it. Well it was fine for most of the semester, but that time, someone had clearly very deliberately removed the LGBTQIA+ talk space flyer and torn it into 3 pieces and put it on the floor. I texted our RA and she filed an incident report and is working on getting new flyers printed but yeah that was bad. Idk who did it which tbh makes it worse

-one time I was going to the bathroom at 1 am and there was barf on the (carpeted) hallway floor. It was cleaned up by the morning, but ewww. It was a small amount tho so it could have been worse

-another time when I was coming out of the bathroom (a lot of stories involve trips to the bathroom for some reason lmfao) and the dorm directly across from it had like a pile of 15-20 apples directly on the floor and against the doorframe. It was gone by the morning which made it even more surreal

-one time the fire alarm went off at 2 am because apparently (so I overheard anyway) SOMEONE used one of the communal microwaves to nuke DRY RAMEN. We had to evacuate the building for like 20 minutes. Also this was the 2nd time the fire alarm in our building had gone off bc of a microwave related incident

-one of our friends slept in our dorm for the night bc he had a fight with one of his roommates bc said roommate was trying to spread rumors about him jacking off in the quad

-same friend showed up at our door on a weekend morning bc he’d run out of quarters for his laundry and apparently no one he knew in his dorm had any spare ones. So he thought it was a great idea to walk all the way to our dorm (which would have made more sense except for the fact that we live in different residential areas). Like we gave him the quarters but he kind of woke us up plus my roomie had their bf over that weekend. It was funny though

-accidentally found a way to get up onto the roof of a building with 2 of my friends. We were not intending to go to the roof but we did and it was cool

-got out of bed at almost 1 am to show my friend how far my key went into the lock bc she was trying to open her door but it was sticking and she wanted to know if she was doing it right

-sat in the pool table supplied closet in the basement to do my hw bc my roommate was being a loud gamer and there were people in the basement too. It wasn’t working that well so I got out after like 45 minutes and scared the absolute shit out of these 2 girls who were sitting in the couch opposite me

-when it was Halloween I wore my plague doctor costume all day and I was going back to my dorm and this group of queer and more alternative looking kids saw me and were like “omg it’s the plague doctor!!” (I’d worn my costume 3 days b4 that and they might have seen me in it then). We talked for a bit, mostly about stuff related to plague doctors and plague and doctors, and then I went on my way. And honestly it was one of the most validating experiences I’ve had in my life. Idk what it was validating exactly but it felt very good

-the day after my bf and I broke up, there was an argument about the definition of art on this discord groupchat my roommate & I have w/ some friends and she and I got very heated (both at the same person, not at each other dw) and it was really upsetting for me bc 1) 1 day post breakup 2) I feel the need to argue when I think something’s wrong but at the same time I hate arguments and conflict even when I’m actively involved in them. So I got back to my dorm and then my roommate got back, and we sat on the floor and talked about the arguement, art, music, trauma relating to music teaching methods being passed down to her from her mom, stuff like that. We watched some videos of her favorite violinist Hilary Hahn, we showed each other some old pics on our phones, then she told me about her EXTREMELY shitty ex who also happens to be her BOYFRIENDS COUSIN. It was a really nice impromptu bonding moment and I felt like both of us needed that kind of conversation at that point in the semester.

-someone at the last show I went to this semester brought a fucking TRAMPOLINE into the mosh pit & ppl were jumping off it onto other ppl in order to crowdsurf. It was fucking wild 10/10 needs to happen again

-we got so lucky with our RA she is literally the nicest cutest coolest person ever I love her so so much

there are other things but I’m getting eepy so I’ll think of them later

#It was more fun than I thought it’d be #And still very stressful but in different ways than I assumed before going

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chimielie · 5 months

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hi lia 😞 i am so embarrassed like actually just throw me into the woods and id happily be nutrients for mushrooms. im 🍮 anon and im so sorry i havent check up on you in foreverrrrr 😩😩 i said i would and then boom got busy and forgot to reply you 😭its crazy tho bc i still love your writing it just never crossed my mind that "hey i left a conversation hanging for months :D" until recently -anyways how are you doing sweetheart? i hope the past few months have been good to you! ive been busying myself with a lot of activities :) one thing ive realized in the past few months is that baking has brought my friends and i closer to one another. my super old oven broke and ive just been living without it lol i swear im looking for a good replacement 😭 so when i have the urge to bake, i have no choice but to do it at my friends houses :P and this has created opportunities for us to hang out more and bond over food :) have you been baking brownies recently? or is there something new youve been trying? id love to know! love, 🍮 anon :)

OH MY GOD NOOOOO don't be sorry!!!!!! everyone knows how i am with holding conversations (bad) i would be remiss to blame u!!! i'm just so happy to see u pop up again!!!

we can be mushrooms in the next life together :) and i'm glad you're still reading and enjoying my silly lil fics!! i'm doing pretty good, trying not to let the end of the semester get to me HAHAH and omg!!! that's incredible! i love that u turned ur oven breaking into a communal opportunity to eat well and enjoy each other<33 that's literally so sweet aaaaaaah what are some of the things you've baked recently?

i have not been baking anything recently HAHAH i live in a dorm-esque building rn and only have a toaster oven/air fryer (and a communal kitchen but i'm scared of it). my bf did make bread for our friendsgiving celebration the other day and i watched him do it so i'll claim credit for that hehehe (edit i went back and looked at our past messages and i talked about him both times 😭 im so sorry i’m down BAD fjsjdjsjdj)

again i am so thrilled to have you in my inbox and pls don't be apologetic for not replying hahahah i understand 1000% lol!!! sorry for all the exclamation points i'm just excited all the time

#ask n answer #🍮!

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blogging-thots · 2 years

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August 20 2022

3:54 am

Social media has made me become more tired of life (?????? If that makes sense??????)

I didn’t delete the social apps that usually use just in case someone wants to contact me but I did delete them from my Home Screen just so I can get somewhat of a break from it and to help me mentally, since I’ll be starting school August 22nd

I feel I’ve been too dependent on my friends’ response and opinions whenever I text them about what’s on my mind, but I just feel they’re not reciprocating the same vibes as I am if I were the one to listen to their rants. I know some are in school full time (which I’ll be too) and are working full time, but I would really appreciate it if they reciprocate the vibes I give them back to me, but whatever

I guess I need another break to focus on myself and needs and learn not to be dependent on my friends

I hate that I have a lot of close friends that I can tell anything to, but I still feel lonely ????? Which sucks bc my life has been so hard this year that I feel like it will never get better, but I be praying for the best to happen soon (but I’m not religious so maybe it won’t help lol)

I wish I was born rich (but not spoiled brat rich ofc) so that way I don’t have to suffer financially

I wish my parents would go back to their birth country and I stay here alone and maybe live w my uncle and put my / my parents belongings in a storage center bc that’ll be cheaper to pay than rent

It’ll be hard for me to go to school if I did have to live w my uncle bc it’ll be so far but it’s probably worth it bc I’ll be saving $$$ and won’t have to suffer financially as much

I really hope Walmart will hire me ASAP bc I know if they hire me and let me work the hours I can work then I’ll probably have enough to pay rent and bills and might have some left over for myself !!!! Bc I like to spend money on food for myself since I’m not a materialistic person !

I’m glad I made a new friend for this semester bc I always enjoy making new friends (hope to make more during the semester but I’m super shy !!!) also my new friend is so considerate!!! She’s willing to help me not use social media so much to help w my mental health since I told her that it’s kinda toxic on there, so we’ll be texting on Teams app sksksksksksks (which that app be kinda lagging lmao)

I low key want to be class Historian soooooo bad but I’m sooooooo shy that idk how I’ll promote myself 💀💀💀💀 but professor did say that we can submit our own photos to class Historian if we have any that we’ll like to share for the pinning ceremony, so I guess I’ll take as much as I can lmao 😂😂😂

Time is going buy fast but slow ??????? Idk how to explain it !! It’s so weird 💀💀💀

Anyway, I hope I can use my FAFSA loans for my books when I go to school Monday bc I really don’t wanna use my own money since I’m broke as fuck and don’t have money for rent and bills which is so fucking wack and sometimes I want to end it all bc financial status really wack rn smh 🤦‍♀️

I also hope I get TX Grants this semester and next semesters as well bc it’ll definitely help for rent/ bills (I BE PRAYING SO HARD FOR IT😭😭😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏)

Anyway, only wishing for the best to come 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

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jakesimfromstatefarm · 3 years

Text

notoriously yours | jay park

✰ summary: jay park is a rich kid. it’s safe to say he has everything every broke college student on his campus could dream of and more. but the one thing he doesn’t have, which money definitely can’t buy, is a girlfriend. and his friends won’t see of it. literally.

so what happens when his friends bet him to date someone for more than three months? what happens when jay decides that fake-dating someone would be easier than actual dating (because god forbid Jay–the campus’ notoriously known fuckboy–decides to commit to something once in his life)?

and what happens when that someone is you, his childhood best friend he hasn’t spoken to in years..who has absolutely no interest in being in his life anymore?

✰ pairing: jay park x y/n [ft. members of enha]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy, angst | fakedating!au, college!au, childhoodbestfriends!au, (kinda) e2l!au

✰ warnings: cursing, nothing suggestive but jay's a fuckboy so slightly suggestive themes, mentions of parental neglect/leaving, it's hella long (and i thought my last fic was long)

✰ wc: 14.7k (how did i get it this long oh lord)

✰ author's note: picture creds go to original owners/editors! peep that edit of jay that lowkey inspired this entire fic 👀also this took me so, so long bc i lost motivation half way thru and bc college is a thing,,,so i honestly don't know how to feel abt it so pls bare with me :')))) ALSO the dividers are weird bc idk how to add more than 10 pics for the dividers so pls excuse those ٩(× ×)۶i hope u guys enjoy!! <333

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Jay Park is a rich kid.

Jay Park has enough to buy every textbook he needs for his courses without having to look up the free versions online. Jay Park has enough to bribe his professors to let him pass every class with a perfect 4.0 GPA (but because the boy has morals, he doesn't). Jay Park has enough to afford a car to drive to his furthest class from his dorm building instead of walk or bike like every other college student, meaning he also has enough to afford a parking spot on campus (those things aren't cheap!).

Jay Park walks around your school's campus like he owns the place (and considering the amount of money his family has donated to the school, he practically does), looking like he just walked out of your local coffee shop's newest fashion magazine. His blonde hair is never seen untouched, his attire usually consisting of an undoubtedly high-end all-black fit, accessorized with multiple earrings and rings that probably cost more than all the overpriced textbooks you had to rent out this semester. It's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park.

Bottom line is, Jay Park has everything.

Well, his friends beg to differ.

In their eyes, Jay Park has everything but a simple factor in the equation of love (or whatever love is to the minds of a couple of 19 year olds): commitment.

So yes, it's safe to say that everyone knows Jay Park. Because everyone knows he's the campus' rich fuckboy. (What's a college fanfic campus without one anyways?)

Jay doesn't go unreminded of this by his friends, to the boy's annoyance.

Jay is aware of this on a Sunday afternoon, in his dorm building's first floor lounge, where he and his said friends are having a study session.

They're doing anything but studying.

In fact, no one has any books out or anything. Not a single laptop in site.

"You don't think it's the slightly bit concerning?" Jake's words are muffled as he continues munching on the fried chicken that he spent majority of this study session debating if he should have it delivered through UberEats or not.

"I really don't, no," Jay shrugs as he continues mindlessly scrolling through his Instagram feed. They're having the same argument conversation that they've revisited multiple times over the course of their friendship, one that Jay has been lectured on too many times for his own good. He thinks his friends could become his new parents if they really tried.

"Look at it this way, okay. You're about to graduate college in a couple of years, into the big world. Like the actual, adult world. And that means you'll have to settle down. Which you can't do when you. have. no. commitment!" Jake punctuates each word with a single clap of his hands, desperate to get his point across.

Jay simply rolls his eyes. He looks over to Sunghoon, who's minding his own business, not bothered by the same topic he's heard over and over again. His eyes tell Jay you're on your own, in response to his blonde-haired friend's look of despair.

Jay thinks that maybe he should get new friends. Yes, that's the only solution here.

"My love life," Jay reaches across the table for a drumstick from the greasy tub seated in Jake's lap until Jake swats his hand away, "is none of your business. Also, ouch."

"Uh, it kinda is. Because of you and your reputation around campus, it kinda affects us, your best friends. How do you think we look, hanging out with the guy who's known to ghost every girl in existence after one night with them? No offense to you," Jake deadpans to him. Jay mentally reconsiders the term best friends.

Tough love. Jay tells himself it's tough love.

"Yes, because every girl totally hates Jake Sim, the teacher assistant of a physics class who volunteers at the pet shelter every Sunday and brings their pet golden retriever to campus every two weeks," Jay rolls his eyes at his Australian friend.

Jake sighs. "Okay, then I'm coming from a place of worry for you."

Jay groans. "Again, none of your business!" This doesn't stop Jake. He comes from good intentions, really, but Jay wants nothing more than to stuff the kid's mouth with some of that chicken to shut him up.

"What are you gonna do if one day you meet someone you like, genuinely like, and you screw yourself over because you've never been in an actual relationship before? A real, committed one. Like one that lasts at least three months."

"You don't think I can last three months in a relationship?" Jay questions the boy currently taunting him.

"Honestly? No. What's the longest relationship you've been in?" Jake cocks an eyebrow at his friend across from him.

One month and two weeks. But Jay's smart enough to not say that out loud.

"I can so last over three months," Jay mutters more to himself than Jake.

Jake laughs at that, pausing to take another bite of the drumstick in his hand. "Jay, I am willing to actually bet you. Bet that you wouldn't be able to." He leans back on the couch, the ball now in Jay's court.

Jay freezes, looking up from his phone, narrowing his eyes at Jake.

"Forget it, Jake. He's not gonna agree even if you offered him money," Sunghoon finally perches from beside him. Well he's not wrong. It's not like Jay is exactly in need of more money, per say.

"What kind of bet are we talking here?"

Sunghoon's right. Jay doesn't need the money, but he does hate being wrong. Even if it's over something as stupid as this matter.

Caught off guard by the blonde's answer, Jake blinks blankly at him and takes a second to think.

"Hmm..what about...what about if you can date someone for at least three months, and I mean an actual, committed relationship, then I'll do all of your physics homework next semester."

Jay's eyes sparkle at that. If there's anything he despises more than commitment, it's physics.

"And if I win, you have to buy all of my textbooks," Jake sits back from the edge of his seat with a smirk lying on his face.

Jay pauses to think about it. I mean, what does he have to lose? A couple hundred dollars over college textbooks? No. Because he just simply won't lose.

And maybe he'll learn what it'll be like to actually be in a committed relationship for once. Maybe he'll finally learn what it's like to actually devote yourself to someone, open up to them. He shivers at the thought. Never mind. He'll warm up to it. Baby steps.

Nonetheless, what could go wrong? Even if he does lose, at least his money would be going somewhere productive––towards his friend's education. Jay was probably gonna use that money on something useless like a blanket that resembles a tortilla (a burrito blanket, he calls it)––something he doesn't necessarily need, but must have, he would argue.

"Fine. Whatever, okay. Deal," he grabs Jake's extended hand in front of him and shakes on it.

Jake's impressively smiling at the boy as Sunghoon lets out a sigh, in disbelief with the two guys he calls his best friends.

Jay concludes that this will be easier than his Introduction to Photography 101 course he took his freshman year. How hard is it to find someone to date the Jay Park? Surely, everyone will be lining up once Jay switches his FaceBook relationship status from "it's complicated" to "single".

Turns out, it's not as easy as his class where all Jay had to do was take pictures of a pretty sunset, slap a VSCO filter on, and call it a day.

He comes to this realization on a Wednesday evening, as he's seated at one of the many study tables lined in the middle of the campus' library, staring down at his phone's dry iMessage app, with his laptop and blank sheets of scratch paper scrambled across the entire table, as an attempt to look half as studious as the other students studying in the facility.

Turns out, being known as the campus' fuckboy who ghosts every girl on campus isn't a good thing when it comes to wanting to find a real relationship.

He comes to this realization after failing to receive a single text back to the many ones he sent out throughout the first half of his day. The ghoster gets ghosted. Oh how the turn tables.

Jay groans dramatically as he tosses his phone on the hard surface of the table, earning himself a harsh shush from the librarian filing books in the aisle beside him.

He sheepishly smiles back as an apology, directing his attention back to his open laptop screen, where his untouched calculus homework stares back at him––his mind preoccupied with the looming threat of Jake's bet. Not that it was threatening in any way, per say, but Jay just hates losing. And from the looks of things, it's safe to say that Jay won't be celebrating any victories anytime soon.

Jay thinks he should just change his identity and just transfer to some boarding school in Switzerland. Yes, that's a much better solution than admitting defeat to Jake.

Jay sighs as he lies his head on the table, figuring he might as well just write the check for Jake's textbooks now. He wonders how he got here in the first place. Not how he got into the bet, and definitely not how he's sitting in the middle of the library, having yet to start his calculus homework due at 11:59PM tonight (he should really start that).

But no, he wonders how he gained the reputation as the campus' playboy. To be fair, his friends (mainly Jake), are constantly reminding him of his notorious habits. But how did they come a habit in the first place?

The idea of being in a relationship is nice, sure, but the commitment that comes with it? The idea of being dependent on someone? It's scary, vulnerable, and one that Jay can't picture for himself.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be paired. Maybe some people, like Jay, like being independent and are meant to stay that way.

But Jay also likes affection. He likes the fleeting, warm feeling he gets every time he finds himself under someone's sheets. He likes the short-lived comfort he receives from someone else's touch, even though he knows it's going to cease to exist the second he steps out of those bedroom's doors. He just likes affection, simple as that.

That and he's a 19 year old teenage boy with needs, what did you expect?

And so what if he likes the idea of affection minus commitment? Is that so bad? Apparently it is, to people like his friends and the entirety of his school's campus, at least.

At this rate, he might as well pay someone to date him.

Wait. Jay lifts his head off the table's surface in realization.

He might as well pay someone to date him.

There's no harm in that, is there?

He wouldn't have to endure through an endless amount of dates to find someone he clicks with, then continue going on dates with said clicked person, all while trying to develop an actual, serious relationship.

He'll win the bet, get his physics homework done for an entire semester, and some lucky girl out there will be making profit for the small price of hanging out with Jay Park for three months.

And lucky for him, Jay knows the perfect candidate for this scheme.

Simple as that.

Just as long as said perfect candidate says yes.

And as long as Jake and Sunghoon don't find out. Or else Jay might really have to move to Switzerland after all.

You love your friends, you do.

Hana and Heeseung have been there for you when others haven't––they were by your side when you knew no one entering high school, and they were still by your side when you were all graduating said high school. Needless to say, you're eternally grateful for friends like them.

But right now, in this moment––with you seated in the middle of the campus' library, trying to write your essay, as your two friends blabber on and on about the most recent gossip across from you––your two friends could be your villain origin story.

But again, you love your friends, you do. So you don't have the heart to tell them to leave. You've managed to naturally tune out most of the conversation, anyways, for this––your friends coming to hang out while you're trying to study––is no rare occurrence by any means.

"Oh yeah, Jay Park texted me last night."

You hate how your brain's filter suddenly turns off at Hana's words.

You hate how your ears catch the sudden mention of Jay Park's name.

You hate how the thought of Jay Park gets to even occupy a single brain cell of yours.

You hate how you even know who Jay Park is. Well, knew.

Past tense. Because up until eighth grade––when Jay decided to just suddenly pretend you didn't exist––he was attached to you like a koala to a eucalyptus tree.

And if you had asked past Y/N, ideally, Jay would've never left your side. Ideally, he would've never left you to fend for yourself when entering high school. Ideally, he would've stayed your best friend through out all four years of high school and ideally, you would've eventually told him how you really felt about him after growing up with him all your life. And maybe it would've lead to a completely different story. But for the sake of this fic, we don't live in an ideal world.

So yes, if it wasn't for his attendance at the very same university as you, you would've forgotten about the boy who brought you the painful memories of your childhood.

And since the universe clearly doesn't work in your favor, avoiding Jay Park's existence like he's the plague would have to suffice. And it works.

For the most part.

Until some people, bring him up uninvited into your conversation. Like now, for example.

"When was the last time you guys talked anyways?" Heeseung mindlessly asks as he reaches across the table to grab one of the many snacks you usually bring to your study sessions.

"Uh..like a few weeks ago. Give or take. Whenever you threw your house party. Can't say there was much talking involved however," she teasingly says with a giggle and wiggle of her brows.

Heeseung's rolling his eyes as you scoff and chuck a nearby crumpled piece of paper that was once one of your many essay drafts at her.

She bats it away right as it's about to hit her face as she laughs. "Doesn't matter anyways. He ghosted me the next morning, as he does with everyone else. Telling you this now," she extends a finger right at you, "stay away from Jay Park. That kid's just bad news."

You nod in response, mentally telling her she has nothing to worry about.

Been there, done that.

College. Ah yes, the very concept of spending four years of your life imprisoned on a campus where you'll be tearing your hair out from stress and spending all your life's savings just for a laminated sheet of paper with a golden stamp at the end of it all. We live in a society.

Because of said college, and all the weight that comes along with it, you had adapted a strict daily schedule in order to not completely lose your mind. It's a simple schedule really, one of a typical college student who's just trying to get by everyday with as little mental breakdowns as possible.

Wake up, get ready, go to class, go to the library to do your homework, walk all the way across campus to get back to your dorm, shower, then sleep. Oh and eat, of course. And maybe if time permits, be an actual social being and socialize.

It's gotten you this far into the college life without dropping out so, you conclude, you must be doing something right.

Sometimes, if you're feeling nice to yourself, you'll tweak the schedule a bit to fit in some exceptions. Maybe squeeze in a little trip to the bubble tea shop that's on the other side of campus, or maybe get dinner at that one dining hall that you don't usually go to because of the unncessarily long lines (but because they serve ice cream, you go anyways). It doesn't matter what the exception is, you still plan it out to fit into your schedule somehow. Everything is planned out.

Sometimes, however, the universe disagrees with your schedule, to your demise. Such as today, for example.

Because what you didn't expect for today was for a particular blonde-haired boy who you haven't spoken to in almost six years (but who's counting?) to approach your table in the library––a table you were sure no one could find you at, as it was quietly tucked away in the back corner, right next to the Astrophysics shelves. Because who browses the Astrophysics aisle for fun? Actually, maybe Jake Sim would. Anyways.

You definitely didn't anticipate a visit from the boy you've been actively avoiding, so you definitely didn't expect the first words coming out of his mouth when he sees you for the first time in six years to be:

"Fake date me."

You blink up at him.

Yeah, definitely not expected.

But you only let it phase you for a split second, until you feel a slight annoyance beginning to bubble up deep inside of you.

"Wow, hello to you too Jay! It's been what––half a decade? Yeah I've been pretty good, thanks for asking!" The sarcasm is practically dripping off your tongue.

You don't know what runs through Jay's mind, but apparently it isn't common sense––or the ability to read the room. Because next thing you know, he's sliding the chair across from you out from underneath the table and making himself at home.

And he's smiling right at you.

Curse him and his smile.

But no, you're not giving into it.

Not yet, at least.

"What do you want?" You deadpan at him when he makes no sign of making the next move.

"A girlfriend," he deadpans right back at you, as if he was casually telling you what he wanted for dinner. As if you two were close-knit friends that could approach one another without any proper greeting. As if you two had kept your friendship all these years. As if you two even had a role in each other's lives.

"Can't help you there," you scoff, deciding to not even question his lack of manners on top of his uninvited presence.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why?"

"Well gee, seeing that the first few words you decided to say to my face for the first time in forever were a demand, a demand to date you no less, then....no," your monotone voice says as you keep your eyes focused on your laptop screen, not daring to look at the boy across from you.

In the Introduction to Sociology course you took your freshmen year, you had learned of one important term: interactional vandalism. Textbook definition being: "ignoring signals of disinterest in a conversation, leading it to an offense."

Your definition being: "are you oblivious or just plan dumb, read the room!"

This was interactional vandalism, alright. Whether Jay's truly oblivious or just trying to annoy you until your head explodes (it's really the former, but you're convinced it's the latter), he takes your signals of disinterest and tosses it right out of his head to continue the conversation.

"I'm stuck in this stupid bet with Jake--do you remember him? He bet me that I couldn't date someone for more than three months and I figured having someone fake date me would be easier than actually dating someone, right? That's where you come into the equation," he proposes as he leans back in his chair, as if he had just finished a sales pitch to a prospective customer looking to buy a car.

You couldn't believe this. You're 98% sure this has got to be a prank. You're mentally preparing for a camera crew to jump out from in-between the library's aisles any moment now and scream into your ears that you've just been punk'd!

The remaining 2% of you, however, wouldn't put it past the two boys to get themselves in such a situation. The last memory you had of Jay and his friends were pretty much their childish selves back in middle school. And by looking at the current scene unfolding in front of you...it's needless to say they haven't changed much.

"Again, can't help you there. Ask one of the many girlfriends I thought you had." Ouch.

"But Y/N, you've known me all your life--"

"Up until you dropped me a few years ago but sure, let's call it that."

"--and convincing other people is gonna make me look--"

"--desperate? Yeah."

"C'mon, Y/N. What do you have to lose anyways?"

"Uh..my dignity? Pride? Self-respect? Sorry Jay, not happening," you turn your attention back to your unwritten essay in front of you, mentally checking out of this conversation. This would be a good time for that camera crew to jump out now.

"Look, no one else is gonna do it, Y/N." Jay has always been stubborn, you suppose. But so are you.

"Yeah, because you've managed to push every being of the opposite gender away from you. You gave yourself this reputation in the first place," you give it to him straight. It's not like you had a relationship with him to uphold anyways––Jay himself broke that friendship years ago.

Jay hates that you're right.

You're always right. He remembers how he used to always go to you for advice and clarity on the world's biggest problems. Granted, the world's biggest problems to him at the time equated to what he should dress up as for the fifth grade Halloween party, but still. A tough decision, for the mind of a ten-year-old.

You abruptly stop typing and begin putting your laptop and textbooks away as you huff in frustration. There's no point in trying to get your work done now. The longer you stay arguing with Jay, the bigger your headache gets. The longer he continues to occupy any part of your brain, the bigger your headache gets.

Getting up from your seat, packed and ready to slam your head into your pillow, you turn to the blonde one last time.

"Look Jay. We went on our separate ways years ago. If you weren't so notoriously known around campus and my friends would stop talking about you, I would've long forgotten you. I'm sorry you're in this situation, really. If I were you, I'd just tell Jake I can't do it. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do. Just don't get some innocent girl involved in whatever stunt of yours this is."

Jay stares at you, mouth agape, as you find your way out of the library and through the main doors. By the time he comes back to his senses, he realizes how he looks plain stupid––standing in the middle of the library, the look on his face screaming befuddlement, to say the least. Jay quickly makes his way out of the building, in hopes of convincing you one last time.

Jay catches sight of your figure already half-way down the walkway that connects the library to the main quad of your school's campus. Geez, you walk fast.

Not fast enough to outrun Jay's legs, however. If Jay running after you through the middle of campus in order to convince you to fake date him doesn't show how desperate he is to win this bet, I don't know what will.

"Wait, Y/N!"

You groan to yourself before turning to face the boy who can't seem to take a hint and leave you alone. You stare at his out-of-breath state as he heaves up and down from the slight jog he had to endure to get to where you are. If you're humored by him chasing after you, you do a good job of hiding it.

He meets your unimpressed state before stating his final proposition: "I'll pay you. Five hundred dollars."

You nearly stop breathing.

Now this catches your attention––after all, you're but a broke college student who's just trying to survive. And preferably not by feeding yourself instant ramen cups every night.

And so, naturally, you begin rethinking about the opportunity presented in front of you. You narrow your eyes at the boy as you weigh your options.

The first problem being, it's Jay Park––the bane of your very existence. You spent the last few years of your life pretending he didn't exist...for good reason. Not only did he do you dirty when you were merely a couple of 13-year-olds, but you just didn't want to be involved with someone like him. Someone known for his nature, someone who left your own current best friend ghosted. And not that Hana herself would care, for she has called herself the "female Jay Park", but you're sure this would be breaking some rule in the girl code handbook. Plus, if you agree to this, you'd be betraying 13-year-old Y/N, the one who decided to never speak to nor think of Jay Park again––which by now you've failed, but you get the gist.

Second problem being, three months is a long time. Three months is practically the rest of this semester, and did you really want to spend the rest of the semester tied down to the label of being Jay Park's girlfriend? There would have to be some negative connotations that came along with that title, right? No offense to Jay, but being his first girlfriend since, what, high school could make you come off as..naive, for lack of a better term. As if the only person you could settle for was Jay Park. As if you barely had any standards for yourself. Again, no offense to Jay.

Needless to say, if your school's debate club had to argue on why you shouldn't be doing this, you're sure the negating side could win with these two reasons alone.

But before you're rejecting the boy currently standing in front of you one last time, you find yourself mentally listing rebuttals.

First of all, you'd be getting paid. And again, you're merely but a college student living the stereotypical broke college student life––burdened by the costs of tuition, textbooks, and midnight McDonalds runs for when you're out of aforementioned instant ramen cups. Five hundred dollars could provide you with more than enough chicken McNuggets to last you the semester, and maybe some more to treat yourself to an online shopping spree.

Second of all, it's not like you were going to do anything better with your next three months anyways. It's safe to say you were too busy being a diligent student to actually look for anyone to date, per say. And if anything, having a fake boyfriend might actually be helpful in your case. Your mom would be off your ass about how you're still single, for one. And two, your friends (though it's really just Heeseung) would stop trying to hook you up on blind dates with guys that you would choose Jay Park over any day (and that really says something).

Third of all, it's Jay Park. As much as you despise the kid, you still know him. He's not a complete stranger to you, no matter how much you try to deny it. It could be worse, it could be a complete rando asking you to date him. At least you two have some sort of history, which would take care of the typical small talk and getting to know each other bit of this equation. And truth be told, you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't a tad bit satisfied by the fact that Jay chose you, of all people, to pull off this stunt with him. You don't know if it's the nostalgia of your childhood memories rushing back to you, but it reminds you of the endless schemes you two used to plan behind your parents' backs all the time. Granted, your childhood schemes––such as the both of you faking sickness so you could skip school together––don't even fall close to being in a fake relationship with one another, but still. It's the thought that counts.

All of those reasons plus, Jay isn't the worst to look at. He may have a spoiled reputation, but at least he has his looks going for him, you'll give him that (you're still secretly wondering when and how did he get his glow up, but don't tell him that).

And so by the guidelines of a college student's logic that states the pros outweigh the cons, you come to the overarching conclusion that maybe, this won't be so awful after all.

"Five hundred?" You ask, just for clarification. Jay's immediately nodding at your words. You continue to ponder on your thoughts as he stares at you hopefully.

The silent atmosphere of your campus heightens the tension so much, you swear you're in one of those overdramatic pausing scenes that occur too many times in k-dramas.

You sigh, then nod.

"Okay," you're internally praying that you won't regret this decision. "I'm in."

The next time you see Jay is at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building that's home to your awfully long Capitalism in the Western World class.

You're going down the steps of the building, mentally deciding where and what you're going to treat yourself to for lunch––as the three hour lecture you had just attended drained all the life and energy out of you––when you hear the slight call of your name.

Turning to the source, you're met with a waving Jay, leaning against the passenger's side of his car, parked in front of the lecture hall building you were currently leaving.

Great.

You walk over to where he's casually waiting––he's unaware of all the stares he's attracted from fellow students leaving the same lecture as you. Can you blame them? It's not everyday you see a sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition pull up in front of your Friday afternoon lecture. It's not everyday you see Jay Park waiting for anyone outside of his said sleek, black BMW that probably cost more than your tuition.

"Hi," you simply let out as you plant yourself in front of him, not sure whether or not to question him why are you here? Surely, he wasn't waiting for you?

"Hi," he smiles down at you. There's a beat of silence. "I was waiting for you."

Bingo.

"Oh. What are you, my chauffeur?" You raise an eyebrow, unimpressed.

"Maybe. I am your boyfriend, after all," he says into the air, loud and clear, as if he wanted people to hear. Well that is the point, you suppose.

But still, all you want to do is smack the smirk right off his face.

Before you have time to put your next question into words, he answers it for you.

"I'm taking you out for lunch," he declares as if you have nothing else planned for the day. Well, to be fair, you didn't have anything else planned for the day. Except for your usual library run. But you figure the library could wait.

"Oh, like on a date?" You raise your eyebrows teasingly at him as you get into the car, Jay holding the door wide open for you. "Is Jay Park treating me to lunch as a date?"

Jay fights the scowl (or is that a smile?) growing on his face as he bends down to meet your eye level from inside the car. "Don't flatter yourself, princess. We've got fake lives to live."

"Call me princess one more time and you won't have a real life to live," you flash him a sarcastic smile and slam the door in his face.

Jay meets his own shocked reflection on the passenger's side window.

Cute.

"When you said you were taking me out to lunch, I expected like...I don't know...the diner on campus. Not whatever this is," you mutter to Jay as the two of you are brought to your table by a waitress at an upscale sushi restaurant, one that is undoubtedly out of your usual budget, but for sure an upgrade from your dining hall's pizza you were planning to have. You should've figured as much, the drive here was a little more than out of the way from campus, and who are you kidding, it's Jay Park you're eating with.

You stare down at your current outfit, which consisted of a hoodie you've owned since your junior year of high school and leggings that you threw on without second thought this morning––because you didn't exactly wake up and decide I'm going to go to a fancy sushi bar for lunch today!

"Why are we here anyways?" You ask him when you're both settled in your seats and the waitress walks away after listing the chef's specials for the day.

"Oh, they have killer dragon rolls here, you have to try it," Jay tells you nonchalantly as his eyes rake the menu in front of him, blocking your view of him.

How dense can one be? Your hand snatches his menu as you stare into his unamused eyes.

"No, Jay. I mean, why are we here? It's not like anyone's around to see us put on a show anyways."

"Oh. I figured," Jay's quick to grab the menu back from out of your hands as he continues, "that we should sit down and establish how exactly we're going to deliver this performance. After all, you're stuck with me for the next three months."

Again, smacking the smirk currently resting on his face would satisfy you beyond relief. Just once.

"If I drop out halfway through, do I still get $250?" You tease, leaning back.

"Ha ha. Funny. No," he narrows his eyes at you from across the table. "It's all or nothing."

You dramatically huff to make a show just for his annoyance.

"Worth a try. But sure, let's solidify this. What's the game plan?" You sit up in your seat, leaning over the table as if the two of you were hosting a secret meeting.

"It's simple really," Jay mirrors your actions, face leaning in close to where yours is hovering over the table. "Just pretend to be deeply in love with me for three months, and try not to actually be charmed by my cunning looks."

If someone gave you five dollars for every time you've already rolled your eyes at him today, you wouldn't even need to be in this deal for the five hundred dollars.

"Wow, smooth. Can I just remind you you're the one paying a girl to be in a fake relationship with you because you're just not competent enough to find an actual girlfriend?" You lean back, arms crossing over your figure.

Jay, unfazed, laughs, tongue briefly hitting the inside of his cheek. "Touché."

Your eyes go back to the menu in front of you as a silence falls over the table. Because you're not a loaded trust fund baby who comes to fancy five-star sushi restaurants for lunch on a daily, you don't recognize half of the entree names on the menu. You spot the dragon roll Jay suggested, but seeing that a basic California roll is less expensive, your natural broke-college-student-instincts figure the California roll shall do.

"Okay, in all seriousness," Jay begins as he puts his menu down. "It's simple really. We'll just go on weekly dates and post cute pictures of each other once in a while and a little after three months, I'll just say it didn't work out. I'll give you the five hundo and boom, we move on with our lives."

It's clear Jay's put some thought into this. Safe to say he's put more effort planning this out than the amount of work he's been putting into his classes. Someone's got their priorities straight.

You're impressed to say the least––you figured Jay would just be the kind to go with the flow and wait for the situation to unfold on its own and maybe blow up into flames. But seeing as he was just as serious about winning this bet as you were with making five hundred dollars, your doubts about this entire situation were slowly withering away.

Don't get it wrong, though, you still despise him. To an extent, at least.

"And don't worry about the dates. I'll pay on your behalf, as the loving, doting boyfriend I am," Jay finishes with a wide, cheesy smile you can't help but return a growing smile back at.

"Well then, as the loving, doting girlfriend I am, I shall gift you coffee, breakfast, all that fun couple stuff, whenever you please. Or maybe unannounced, if I'm feeling nice," you figure you should pitch in as much if he's paying for all your dates. And deep down, you find the idea kinda cute. But don't tell anyone that.

"Wow, look at us. We should become Dispatch's couple of the year already!" Jay exclaims, earning himself a small giggle from you, which pleases him to say the least. He thinks that maybe when this is all over, he'll hopefully make a good friend (well, for the second time) out of it.

And you're thinking that maybe the next three months won't be as bad as you initially had thought.

As the two of you delve deep into a debate about who would be the better significant other to each other, the waitress comes over to take your orders.

And because you're laughing and Jay's brightly smiling at you from across the table, you order the dragon roll.

The second time Jay takes you out––this time he gives you a heads up to get ready––it's at a, once again, high-class steakhouse.

The third time, you insist on the on-campus diner that's popular amongst the student population. Partially because you feel bad for the amount of money he's spent on you (even though he couldn't care less), but mostly because if you have to put on another fancy dress to just eat an overpriced meal that doesn't even fully satisfy your hunger, you might lose your mind.

And by this third time, Jake is aware of this newly blossomed relationship.

"Three dates! I didn't know you had it in you, going on three dates with the same girl!" Jake excitedly exclaims as he jumps into the empty spot on Jay's dorm bed and shoves his phone's screen into Jay's face.

The smaller screen displays Jay's most recent Instagram post: an image of you sitting behind your too-small-to-be-this-expensive-steak and smiling right into Jay's camera––a memory that brings a smile to his face:

~ ~ ~

"C'mon! We said Instagram posts would be a part of the deal! How else can we convince people we're dating?" A pout rests on Jay's face as he stares at you from across the table in the middle of the extravagantly decorated restaurant he picked out for your second date. You remember your eyes bulging out of their own sockets when you saw the "$$$$$" rating Yelp gave the place when you searched it up earlier.

"Okay, okay! One picture," you give in, already slightly annoyed that you were here instead of the comfort of your own bed, where you could be rewatching your favorite Netflix show for the third time. But because you made a deal and because you're desperate for money, you had to follow through––so here you were.

You flash an unconvincing smile to Jay's camera, which doesn't satisfy him, to say the least. "At least pretend you're somewhat enjoying this date," he frowns at you.

You sigh, until a thought crosses your mind and a smile grows on your face. "Only if you get me boba afterwards."

He narrows his eyes at you, but then meets your smile. "Sure, whatever you want. But only because I've been craving some mango milk tea lately."

"You're a fruit milk tea kind of guy? Sorry, but I might have to fake break-up with you," you tease as you take a sip of your overpriced drink to go with your overpriced meal.

Jay scoffs, feigning hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Ouch. But before you break up with me, let me get this Instagram post in."

"Wow. Your priorities are so straight," you roll your eyes at him, eliciting a cheeky smile from him as he watches you through his held up phone screen.

"3,2,1."

"Hey, I wasn't ready! That was like mid-laugh!" You reach over the table to grab the phone, but not quick enough for him to put his phone back into his pants' pocket.

"Nope, nuh uh," he laughs as you quickly sit back down into your seat, not wanting to cause a scene in an establishment as proper as this one.

"It's fine. It's a good picture, you look cute," he casually lets out, unaware of the blush rising to the surface of your cheeks, thanks to the fact that you were suddenly interested in playing with the left-over food on your plate.

"Jay! Delete it, I'll let you take another one," you whine from your seat, imagining just how bad a candid picture of you could be.

"Ugh, fine. Ever so picky." He playfully rolls his eyes at you as he takes his phone out and opens the camera app as you prepare yourself.

"Okay, how's this?" Jay turns the phone screen to you after he takes a few snaps on his phone.

"I approve," you grin at him as he goes through the pictures himself, unaware of the smile growing on his face.

"Okay now delete the first one," you point your finger at him, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, okay! Bossy," he laughs as he raises in hands in surrender.

When Jay gets home that night, he recovers the image from his Recently Deleted folder, telling himself it's for the sake of the memory.

Obviously.

~ ~ ~

"It's not that big of a deal," Jay mutters from his spot as his eyes go from the Instagram post to his Exile and Belonging in Modern Literature reading that's due tomorrow, bright yellow highlighter in hand. Typically, you'd find the reading buried deep at the bottom of his school backpack. But because Jay ran into you this morning and because he complained to you about the amount of work he's fallen behind on and because you had threatened him to do his work or else you're not going on another date––a fake date that is––with him, he figured he should at least get one reading done and annotated, despite his strong dislike for highlighters (they hurt his eyes, okay?)

What he doesn't know, however, is how your threat was completely full of bluff––but don't tell him that.

"It is so a big deal, for you at least!" Jake hops off the bed and lands on the wooden floors of Jay's dorm room so hard, Jay winces and sends a mental apology to the poor person who lives below him.

Jake suddenly gasps. "I have to meet her, Jay! As your best friend, it's practically mandatory that I meet her."

Jay opens his mouth to protest, but not before Jake interrupts him once again. "Oh! We can bring Sunghoon too, it'll be so fun! The best friends meet the girlfriend."

Jay can't think of anything worst. Jay imagines that bringing you to meet his best friends would just intimidate you out of dating him––fake dating him, that is. Obviously.

He stares at his friend in agony then back at the reading in front of him––the one Jake said he'd come over to help annotate, but the intention completely left Jake's head the second he heard about Jay's recent dating life.

"You don't have to meet her," Jay says pointedly. "Plus, you already know her."

Jake frowns at his friend's excuse. "Yeah, but that was in middle school! This is different."

Jay's hands shuffle through the reading's pages in front of him as he realizes there's no way the two of them are going to finish the assignment at this point. He supposes he'll have to save death by blindness from highlighters for another day and hope you still agree to go out with him.

Jake suddenly gasps in realization.

"Oh my gosh! Childhood best friends turned college sweethearts," Jake says so dreamily, he might as well plaster heart eyes on. Hopeless romantic, this one.

Before Jay can argue, the piercing sound of three loud knocks echo through the small room, followed with a:

"Jay, are you in? It's me!"

Jay stills at the sound of your sweet voice. He whips his head to Jake, who is also frozen in place.

But the widened-eye boy is quick to come to his senses––unfortunately quicker than Jay himself––because the next thing Jay knows, Jake's eyes are lighting up and he's running to the door, ignoring Jay's screaming whispers through this seething teeth that were somewhere along the lines of Jake––stop, I swear to god if you open that door I'm gonna fucking--

"Y/N!" Jake swings the door wide open, revealing an overly excited him and a frozen Jay half-way to the door, as if he was about to grab the very boy welcoming you in. It's as if we're living in a Sims game and the player clicked pause on this very moment.

Jake's eyes are wildly going back and forth between you and your supposed boyfriend, as if he was waiting for Jay to run over and smother you in hugs and kisses...or something couple-y like that. Jay wouldn't know.

"Uh––hi," you're awkwardly standing inside the room now, a relatively large paper brown bag resting in your palms as you look around for a surface to place it on. Jay makes his way to you without a second thought, quickly taking the bag out of your hold.

"You seemed stressed out earlier, so I figured I could bring you some food as a little pick me up. I didn't know what you liked, so I kinda just got a little of everything from the dining hall. Nothing fancy," you're rambling, but smiling so excitedly at him, Jay doesn't know what to say.

Instead, his mouth slightly drops open as he stares at you in awe, mostly because he's not used to being on the receiving end of such spontaneously generous actions––all while Jake's still excitedly looking back and forth between the two of you, as if he was expecting a marriage proposal to come next.

"Oh wow. Thank you. Really," Jay, still touched by your simple act of kindness, softly says as he places the bag on the limited amount of empty space on his desk surface––the rest of it is covered with his untouched textbooks and unfinished assignments. He wonders if you did this out of playing your role or just because you wanted to. He internally hopes it's the latter. "Seriously, you didn't have to do."

"Nah, don't worry. I wanted to," you shrug with such a genuine smile that Jay realizes he actually missed your smile.

Despite having seen you during your brief run-in this morning when you were fetching your morning coffee, Jay realizes he missed you. The two of you haven't been seeing each other recently because of your busy schedule and if Jay didn't realize it before, he's now sure he missed your company and presence around.

Weird.

"Well, you two have fun! Sunghoon needs me for something," Jake suddenly chirps from his place near the front door, halfway through with putting his shoes on already, breaking the comforting silence that fell between the two of you.

Jay frowns. "But you said you were free all da––"

"SUNGHOON IS CALLING BYE!" And before Jay can even register what's happening, Jake's out the door without another word.

"Er..sorry about him, he's...weird," Jay scratches the back of his neck as he returns to his spot on his bed, mentally setting a reminder to yell at Jake later for leaving the two of you alone. Jay doesn't know exactly why, but he's nervous at the fact that you're here in his room. It's not like you two are complete strangers––or whatever you guys were before––anymore. "Good job on your part, though. How'd you know Jake was here?"

"Oh uh, I didn't"," you let out an awkward laugh. "I just felt like doing it."

Heat rushes to Jay's cheeks and he's not sure 1) what this newfound feeling is and 2) how to respond, yet again.

Having expecting you to leave after dropping the food off, Jay's taken by surprise when you take your shoes off and come over to his bed to look at the pile of work he's spread out.

"Is this everything you have to do?" You question the stressed-out boy as you flip through the various assignments, readings, and essays he put off in the past week.

"More or less," he groans. This is no rare occurrence by any means––Jay being behind in his work––but this time, Jay realizes he may actually be in deep shit, considering he has no idea where to begin.

Right as Jay's expecting a scolding from you, he looks up to meet a look of sympathy on your face. "Well, I mean, I'm pretty much done with my day. I can try to help, I recognize some of these readings from last semester."

Jay thinks to himself that the universe has sent him an angel through the form of you.

"Really? Wow, you were't kidding when you said you'd be a good girlfriend," he sends you a surprised look.

"I'm just being nice, Jay. A concept I'm sure you're not familiar with," you remark back at him, causing his forming smile to grow into a laugh.

"I can too be nice! Need I remind you of who's paying you $500, covering all of our dates AND giving you rides to class everyday?" He remarks pointedly at you, a teasing look resting in his eyes as you're reminded of the first of many times he's come to pick you up before class:

~ ~ ~

You're late.

This never happens.

But then again, your life's been a series of unexpected occurrences lately. Such as the fact that you're currently known as Jay Park's girlfriend, for one.

You're scrambling out of bed once you take one look at your phone and realize shit, you're already late for class. Throwing on whatever articles of clothing your eyes land on first, you're already mentally groaning at the fact that you'll have to skip breakfast and run across your campus to get to said class.

Curse your professor for hosting her lecture at the furthest possible building away from your dorm. Curse the architect who decided to make your campus so large.

You're running down the steps outside of your dorm building's doors when you're abruptly stopped by a familiar sounding cough. You look up from trying to gather all your belongings together at once to meet the gaze of the source of the sound––Jay.

"Wow, you're a mess," he smirks as he gets up from the spot on his car he was leaning against to make his way over to you.

"Gee, thanks! Good morning to you too," you flash him a sarcastic smile before your default frown quickly makes it way back onto your face.

"Aren't you gonna ask me why I'm here?" He grins as he grabs hold of your backpack to sling it across his own back as the two of you walk towards his car.

"Why are you here, Jay?" you sigh, your sarcastic tone hard to miss.

"To give you a ride to class, of course!" He's beaming at you, as if he's a pre-pubescent teen who just won their first girlfriend a prize from the arcade's claw machine.

Oh. That explains the car, you figure. Deep down inside, you're relieved that you'll no longer be bursting through the lecture hall's doors as a sweaty mess––a result of having to run across campus to get to class.

Determined to not let your satisfaction completely show, you resort with a little smile directed towards Jay as he opens the passenger door for you.

The second your enter Jay's car, the strong scent of coffee hits you, and your attention is targeted at the two small cups of coffee sitting in the cupholders of the car.

"Breakfast?" Jay asks as he enters through the driver's side and reaches into the backseat to whip out a small pastry bag. A small, deliciously smelling, pastry bag.

Okay, well. You suppose you could drop the annoyed act now.

Your eyes widen with joy as you grab the bag from him and open it to reveal your favorite breakfast sandwich. He's been taking notes, you'll give him that point.

"Okay, you win. Thank you," you grace him with a soft smile before taking a bite into the glorious gift in your hands.

"Of course, I was just feeling nice," he grins at you as he starts his car. "But don't get used to it." His tone is serious, but his smile directed towards you says differently.

And the fact that he still showed up to drive you to class the next morning.

And the next.

~ ~ ~

"And need I remind you who has to date your dumb ass for the $500 in question?" Your eyes narrow at the boy who can't seem to get that damn smile off his face.

Jay sticks his tongue out at you, ending the conversation. Really Jay? What are you, five? Well, mentally––probably.

You're looking around his minuscule dorm room for a place to sit down, and Jay can't help but feel embarrassed now that you're here, in his messy single studio room that pretty much reflects how Jay treats every other responsibility of his oh so hard life: neglected.

"Uh...here, you can sit on my bed," Jay immediately offers as he moves to the side to make room for your presence––and it isn't much, considering the university only provided him a twin XL bed which is definitely not built for two grown college-aged kids.

If you told yourself a few weeks ago that you'd be shoulder to shoulder on a bed belonging to the guy you cringed at the very thought of, you wouldn't have believed yourself. You wouldn't have believed yourself if you said you were actually glad Jay let you stay instead of kicking you out after delivering the food. Huh.

Weird.

"You know, this kinda reminds me of when we were kids. I always carried us through those horrible multiplication tests in the fifth grade," you wink at him as you settle in the spot next to him, hands grabbing hold of the papers in his lap.

Jay let out a laugh, nudging your shoulder with his. "Hey! The twelve times table is hard, okay?"

You roll your eyes at him––a habit of yours he's noticed whenever the two of you are together, but more recently, he thinks it's been more out of fun than annoyance.

He wonders why.

When Jay had first brought up the idea of bringing you as his date to his father's company dinner, you had expected a fairly fancy five-star restaurant with a formal dress code––for you've become accustomed to Jay's lifestyle. Turns out, your expectations can continue to be exceeded. Because what you had expected to be a simple dinner with a few other business men and women turned out to be an entire party, hosted in a hotel whose interior resembled something close to a castle (Or what you assume a castle looks like, as you've never personally been into a castle yourself, but this hotel is close enough).

Your eyes sparkle at the extravagant columns and diamond chandeliers hanging high above you, and Jay smiles at the expression on your face; like a little girl being brought to the amusement park for the first time ever.

"Wow, this is...wow," you mutter as you drink in the scene in front of you: people dressed in formal attire likewise to yours and Jay's, mingling and drinking what you imagine to be beverages that cost more than your entire life's worth.

Jay laughs from behind you, "Yeah the company goes a little...extra when it comes to these company dinners."

You scoff as you look up at him. "Oh really, you don't say?" You look around and you're suddenly aware of the many people surrounding the two of you and the attention you've acquired ever since entering the building.

"Jay, people are staring." You shuffle closer to him, your voice lowering down to a whisper.

"Well, it's not everyday the son of the company's CEO brings his girlfriend with him, so...looks like we'll be the talk of the party tonight. Smiles on," he winks at you, and you just know he's loving the attention the two of you are receiving right now.

"Jay Park? Is that you?" You hear a warm voice call out from behind the two of you.

The two of you turn around to meet the owner of the voice, a middle-aged woman dressed in an evening gown that matches the pattern of high-end brands you've been recognizing ever since arriving.

"Mrs. Lee! It's so nice seeing you again," Jay cheerily addresses the woman as the two of you bow in greeting.

You internally giggle at the thought of your Jay being so picture-perfect in the eyes of his father's co-workers.

"This is Y/N," he continues, his hand finding its way to your back, protectively resting it there as you go to introduce yourself. "My girlfriend."

You swear you feel goosebumps rise from where he's lightly touching you, and more so when he introduces you as his girlfriend.

You tell yourself it's just your nerves. Yes, that's it, you're just nervous. I mean, you're in a room filled with people who could easily pay off all your college loans with just a snap of their fingers, who wouldn't be nervous? Right? Right.

"Y/N! It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you!" Mrs. Lee excitedly exclaims as you turn to Jay with a slightly confused look plastered on your face. He mirrors your expression as he shrugs, moving to stand behind you completely, bringing his hands to rest lowly at your hips.

His hands feel like feathers on the thin fabric of your evening gown, so light, so delicate, as if he's unsure if he's crossing a line. It leaves you wanting more, wanting to naturally lean against him and his warmth. You quick to shake the thought of your head as Mrs. Lee chirps up again.

"Jay's father is always talking about how you've been keeping Jay pleasantly busy nowadays! Good thing too, about time this poor boy settle down for someone as beautiful as you," the woman rambles on as you feel a blush creep up on your cheeks at the thought of Jay talking about you to his dad. If only they knew.

"We should probably go find our seats, I think the dinner is beginning soon," Jay says from behind you, saving the two of you from having to listen to Mrs. Lee's story of how she's known Jay ever since he was five years old and seeing him grow into this mature, loving, young man is so amazing. Oh look! I have baby pictures.

Yeah, he was more so saving himself from embarrassment.

The two of you bid your goodbyes before Jay gently uses the hand on your back to maneuver you through the crowd of socializing business moguls.

"She's not wrong, you know," you feel Jay dip his head so he's speaking near your ear, his warm breath tickling your earlobe, as the two of you make your way through the large foyer room.

"Hm?" You hum in question, turning your head up just enough to be able to make eye contact with him as he responds to your look of confusion.

"You look beautiful tonight," he says, eye contact not breaking once. You freeze in your steps.

You stare back at him in silence. Oh.

Your mind is panicking as it flips through your mental book of responses, unsure of what to say back. But because your mind is cloudy from staring at a put-together Jay in a dark navy suit to match your dress (mixed with the nervous butterflies in your stomach––have they always been there?), the only sound that's able to leave your lips is the small stutter of a:

"Huh?"

Wow Y/N, you had one job. A simple "thank you" could've sufficed! And you went with "Huh"?

You felt like a fifth grader who just learned from a friend of a friend of a friend that their crush likes them back.

"U-um. Mrs. Lee. What she said about you. You look good, really," somehow your nervousness made its way over to Jay now––his eyes flickering from yours to anywhere, anything, else in the room––the awkward tension growing tenfold each second.

Goddamnit Y/N, this is just Jay you're talking to, get a grip.

You're knocked back into reality when he slightly nudges your back to continue making your way to the main ball room, where the dinner is being held.

"Is that a compliment from the Jay Park?" Your smirk can't be seen by Jay, since he's still trailing behind you, but he can definitely hear it through your tone.

"Don't make me take it back," he chuckles, his words felt against your neck, leaving behind a tingly sensation you're not sure why you're feeling. You're glad he's behind you, so he isn't able to see the blush creeping onto your face for the second time tonight.

Jay gives a small nod to the people behind the check-in desk stationed at the entrance as the two of you waltz right into a large ball room lined with countless circular dining tables. So much for a small business dinner.

As the two of you approach one of the tables placed at the front of the room, you notice a familiar figure seated next to the seats reserved for you and Jay.

"Y/N!" Jake exclaims as he gets up from his seat to greet the both of you. "I'm so glad you made it, Jay was so excited to bring you tonight. Deadass would not stop talking about it."

Jay lets out a noise that falls somewhere between a cough and a goose being strangled, his widened eyes warning his talkative friend to just shut up. He's silently cursing the company for always seating his and Jake's family at the same table for these events.

"Aw, is that so? He's lucky he's cute or else I wouldn't have agreed," you grin, winking at your assumed boyfriend sitting next to you.

"Hey, YOU were the one excited to come! I recall a certain someone's face lighting up when I suggested we go shopping for tonight," Jay immediately retorts.

"Only because you were buying," you giggle, causing Jake to laugh as well.

"Damn, Jay. Tough," Jake jokingly adds as you laugh alongside him. The scowl sitting on Jay's face expresses the opposite of what he's feeling right now: warmth filling him up from the sound of your laughter and the image of you getting along so well with his best friend.

"I'm gonna get us some drinks, you two have fun making fun of me," Jay narrows his eyes at the two of you as he gets up from his seat. You bid him off with a smile before turning back to Jake.

"No but really though, this boy would not stop talking about you coming tonight. Then again, he doesn't really ever stop talking about you," Jake nonchalantly says, not knowing how much he was exposing his friend to you right now.

You raise an eyebrow up in response, "Oh really?"

"Seriously! I don't know what you did to him, Y/N, but this Jay I've been seeing recently is new. He complains a lot less about life nowadays, especially on the days he sees you," he leans back in his chair as his comment brings a smile to your face. Little does he know.

You stretch your neck up to find the boy in question and spot him right as he's returning to your shared table, two drinks in hand. You lock eyes with him from across the room and without a second thought, you're giving him a genuine smile that he's immediately returning.

Your heart beats faster at the view.

You wonder why.

It's 3:07AM when you hear the first ding.

You're not 100% sure as of why you're awake at this hour on a Tuesday night––perhaps a combination of your restless thoughts and feelings not letting you sleep plus the typical stress that comes hand-in-hand with the life of a college student.

It's 3:09AM when you hear the second ding, and you brush it off, assuming it was just Heeseung spamming you with memes again––something he does often when he also can't sleep (you found this out the hard way).

It's still 3:09AM when you hear the third ding, and at 3:10AM , you finally reach over and decide to acknowledge the being who's bothering you at this godforsaken hour.

Jay [3:07AM]: Y/N

Jay [3:09AM]: hi

Jay [3:09AM]: r u awake rn

Y/N [3:10AM]: unfortunately so

Y/N [3:11AM]: why are you up

Jay [3:11AM]: come outside

Y/N [3:13AM: jay it's 3am

Jay [3:13AM]: ye and? don't tell me ur a college student with a curfew

Jay [3:14AM]: plus im alrdy waiting for u outside so u have no choice

Jay [3:15AM]: :)

You groan at your bright phone screen currently illuminating your dark dorm room.

You ponder the consequences you may have to suffer tomorrow if you stay up any later than you already have. But considering the fact that you're probably just going to stay awake lying in bed for god knows how long anyways, why not?

(And you would like to point out that this decision has nothing to do with the fact that you haven't seen Jay in a few days and that maybe a tiny, tiny, tiny, part of you may have missed his presence. Nothing.)

And since that logic is obviously valid (you really gotta work on justifying your life choices), you're suddenly grabbing a hoodie from your closet and hoping it'll be enough to keep you, who's merely in an old band t-shirt from high-school and pajama shorts, warm.

The breeze hits your skin the second you open the doors to your dorm's building, and you're met with the view of Jay's sleek, black BMW that probably costs more than your tuition. He waves at you from the driver's seat, motioning for you to get in.

"To what do I owe you the pleasure at this hour," you deadpan at him with a stone-cold voice as you enter through the passenger's side door, hoping your tone was enough to hide the fact that you're giddy at the fact he invited you out at 3AM in the morning. Like a high-school girl sneaking out of her house to meet up with her bad-boy boyfriend that her parents dislike.

The second you enter his car, you're instantly comforted by the warm air blasting through his vents and his playlist softly playing in the background. Jay's pajama pants and messy hair give you more than enough information to know that he probably just rolled out of his own bed as well. You don't know why, but your view: Jay in his oversized hoodie with his unkept hair in front of your dorm building at 3AM on a Tuesday night, gives you comfort in weird ways you can't explain even if you tried.

But it's obviously just your cloudy, 3AM mind not thinking straight. Obviously.

"When I can't sleep, I go on drives around campus. It helps clear my mind," he says, looking over at you to give you a quick smile before starting his car. "Plus, SnapMap said you were still awake, so...figured you'd wanna join."

"Oh so what, you're my stalker now? You're not driving to the woods to kill me now, are you?" You tease, an eyebrow brought up. Jay lets out a laugh from beside you as he begins to drive further into your campus.

"Guess you'll just have to wait and see," he throws you a wink before reverting his gaze back to the road, mindlessly driving to wherever the road decides to take him.

A comfortable silence falls in between the two of you as Jay continues to drive endless routes around your campus. You look over to the boy driving next to you and take in his features––you don't know what changed, but you no longer feel the same anger or annoyance bubbling within you when you're around him. You're not sure when this changed, but you figure it's just the effect of desensitization. After all, you've been spending so much time with him, you're bound to get used to it. Right?

"Why were you up?" Jay finally asks after a few minutes of just the two of you silently basking in each other's presences.

"Ah, you know. The usual. Endless thoughts running through my mind, stress from school, nothing new," you sign, giving him a soft smile followed with a shrug.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

You answer him with silence as you search your head for the answer.

"I don't know. This is kinda weird, isn't it?" You don't know why you get a sudden surge of confidence, but before you can stop yourself, you find yourself rambling on. "If you had told me a month ago that I'd be here driving around with you when it's nearly 4AM, I would've laughed in your face."

Jay doesn't know whether to laugh or scoff. "Is the idea of hanging out with me that unappealing to you?"

You give him a serious look back. "I mean, up until a month ago when you needed me for whatever this game is, you literally pretended I didn't exist."

Oh. Awkward.

You freeze at your own words, mentally screaming at yourself for letting the words leave your mouth. Why, why, why.

"Y/N..." Jay says after clearing his throat after a few seconds of silence.

"No it's fine, it was a joke," you awkwardly cough and direct your attention to anything else around you right now. The view of your campus' buildings zooming by. The clicking of Jay's blinker when he switches lanes. The quiet roaring of his car's engine. The nervous tapping of his fingers against the steering wheel.

The rest of the ride is excruciatingly silent as he exits the main road and into an empty parking lot of some administration building made out of glass that has too many floors for you to count.

You don't know why you feel your heart beating in your throat as Jay puts the car into park––why you feel uneasy. You slightly turn towards him in your seat, hoping to pick up any sign of well...anything from him.

You don't know why you feel a twinge of guilt––it's not like what you said was necessarily wrong. If you were being honest, you were slightly bothered by how the two of you seemed to silently agree not to mention your past all this time. You were always one to seek answers, to seek closure. You couldn't help but bring it up––Jay was your best friend during those years. For him to just wake up one day and pretend you were nothing to him hurt you, and you couldn't help but still wonder what in the world you did to initiate his actions.

"I'm sor–" You're interrupted with his timid voice, as if he was almost afraid to speak.

"I'm not good with people." He's nibbling on his bottom lip, fingers nervously picking at a spot on the steering wheel.

You're opening and closing your mouth, unsure how to respond. You're 100% positive you look like a fish right now. Good for you.

"I don't know why. Jake calls it commitment issues but in order to have commitment, people have to stay in my life. And people just...don't. They're all bound to leave at some point. So what's the point of putting in effort into relationships if they're just going to leave you at the end?"

You're stunned by his sudden confession, not having been prepared for such a heavy topic to arise between the two of you. Up until tonight, your interactions had always been light-hearted and easy––you guys got along well. You didn't know this is how he felt all along.

But you knew where he was coming from.

You knew what Jay had gone through as a child––his mother having left him and his dad when he was young. You remember when your parents had told you the news at the young age of 13, and you remember the pain and sorrow you felt for your then friend. All you wanted to do was go to him and comfort him, but he had already cut you out from his life by then.

"Or maybe I'm the problem. My dad barely acknowledges my existence because he thinks giving me an allowance is all the parenting I need, my friends probably only stick around because they feel bad for me, you wouldn't even be here if it weren't for the bet, and, fuck, I'm literally known as the campus' fuckboy," Jay continues, falling deeper and deeper into the hole he dug himself.

He hates this, he hates opening up and feeling vulnerable, so he doesn't know why he's doing it now. He doesn't know why he feels comfortable voicing out his fears and worries when he's around you. But he does know it's a new feeling––one he doesn't know how to deal with.

"Jay," you lace your voice with as much comfort as you can provide. None of this is his fault, you want to tell him. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything," he says with a hint of bitterness and you can't tell if it's directed towards you or the topic at hand.

You're completely turned in your seat now to face him––despite the fact that he refuses to meet your gaze, afraid that looking at you is gonna bring out the most vulnerable in him. "You can talk to me. Talking about it makes it a lot easier. I'll always be here for you, as a friend."

Jay doesn't know what it is or why, but something in him snaps at the sound of a certain word falling out of your lips. Friend. Friend.

Friends don't make his heart beat nervously whenever he's around them. Friends don't keep him up at 3AM in the morning, pondering about his feelings for them. Friends don't provide him with this new, warm comfort he's become accustomed to whenever he's around you.

Deep down, Jay knows you didn't mean to add fuel to the fire. But because he's strong-headed, stubborn, and hates how vulnerable he feels next to you, he unleashes his emotions without thinking about the destruction coming along.

"It's none of your business, Y/N. Forget I said anything. You're just a toy for this stupid game and when it's all over we can go back to our own lives and forget this ever happened."

His sudden words cut deep, but they hurt him more than you. The second the words tumble out of his mouth, he's hit with the feeling of instant regret washing over him, and the lump forming in his throat restricts him from finding the right words to take them back.

The silence that falls between the two of you this time is different. It's a cold silence. A loud silence.

Jay feels his walls coming back up around him––the ones you managed to get through––and all he wants to do is apologize but he's terrified. Terrified of seeing your reaction, terrified of losing you again. For the second time.

You tell yourself he doesn't mean it. You tell yourself that he's just enduring more pain that one should ever receive.

But you also tell yourself that this wouldn't be the first time Jay leaves you in the dust.

You tell yourself that you're foolish for ever believing a friendship, or more, could come out of this act at the end. That you're so naive for feeling those stupid, stupid butterflies you've started to notice in your stomach whenever you see, or even think of, him.

"Okay," you begin with a firm tone. You're hurt, but you refuse to show it. You won't let him hurt you for a second time. Not again.

"Just...find me when you need me. As your fake girlfriend or just...me. I'm still here for you," is the last thing you say before un-clicking your seatbelt and leaving his car, beginning your walk back to your dorm hall.

Jay is unsure about many things in life. He's unsure about what he wants to do in the future, he's unsure of where he's going to settle in life, heck, he's unsure about what to have for lunch tomorrow. But he's sure about one thing.

That he's wearing his heart on his sleeve right now, and it's all because of you.

That you've become this new lifeline and he has to choose between holding onto you or drowning.

When Jay wakes up the next morning, his first gut instinct is to get ready to pick you up for class. But today's different. Jay doesn't know where the two of you stand now, especially after last night.

Jay doesn't know how to deal with this combination of unknown emotions he's been feeling lately. They didn't come out of no where, by any means, he realizes. They've been slowly growing over the past month of seeing you so often––like a plant he's been watering overtime, not expecting it to bloom into a flower so suddenly––but he figured it was nothing more than just enjoying the company of a friend.

Until he realizes that the term friend just doesn't suite you anymore––not to him, at least. And that scares him. It scares him that you've made him genuinely smile more in this past month than he ever has in his 19 years of living. It scares him that when he's around you he can't comprehend his own thoughts, his feelings. It scares him that you make him vulnerable, that you've changed him. That you've managed to make the walls that he's spent so long building and polishing to crumble with a simple tap of your finger.

In a perfect world, Jay would have already told you all this––he would be unafraid of how you would react, unafraid of your rejection, unafraid of losing this growing relationship with you. But alas, we don't live in a perfect world. And so when Jay drives to class that day, he drives right past your dorm building.

"Where's Y/N?" is the first thing Jake questions when he enters Jay's car that morning, confused by your absence, having been used to you being in the front seat every morning when Jay goes to give Jake rides to class as well.

"I don't know," Jay mutters, unemotional eyes focused on the road in front of him, not interested in continuing a conversation that involves thinking about you.

Jake hesitates as curiosity gets the best of him. "Did you guys get into a fight or something?"

Jay's hands tighten around the steering wheel of his car. "Or something. Let's just leave it at that."

There are a few beats of silence before Jake speaks up again.

"Well, I guess this works out because I wanted to talk to you about something."

Jay continues to stare straight ahead of him, focusing on just trying to get by without mentally beating himself up at the simple thought of you.

The simple thought of you and your smile. Your witty remarks. Your stupid eye rolls. Your laughter. Your kindness. So much for not thinking about you.

"I'm calling it off," Jake's words catch Jay off guard.

"Huh? Calling what off?"

"The bet. I'm calling it off. I don't care about the textbook fees I'll have to pay next semester. Look, fight or not, you and Y/N are good for each other, everyone can see it. And I really don't want this to end up being one of those messed up teen TV shows where the girlfriend finds out the entire relationship was based off of a stupid game and then they break up and the boyfriend falls into eternal sadness and regret. And I don't wanna see you sad, dude. So yeah! Congrats," although he's admitting defeat, Jake's beaming widely, just content with the fact that his best friend has finally found happiness through the form of you. "You win."

But Jay feels like the opposite of a winner. Because even though his only intention coming into this was simply winning the bet, his life isn't as simple as it was a month ago. Because he discovered something much more valuable than some stupid textbook fees or five hundred dollars or getting his physics homework done for an entire semester.

Something he's scared he's already lost.

You.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next time you see Jay is at the same time and place as when he first ever appeared to pick you up––at 12:17PM on a Friday afternoon, as you're exiting the doors of the lecture building home to your awfully long Capitalism in World History class. This time, however it's different.

Because this time, it's one month later, and Jay Park is no longer a forgotten side character in the story of your life. This time, you're frustrated because it's been three days since you've last heard from Jay. And because it's been three days since you've last heard from him, you can't focus on anything else, and because you can't focus on anything else, you're falling behind on every other aspect in your life. Jay's somehow managed to become the center of your life without even having to be present.

Well, up until now. Up until you go down the steps of your lecture hall's entrance and look up to be met with a figure leaning on a car you're far too familiar with. You freeze in your steps as you make eye contact with the boy you've been thinking about non-stop for the past month three days.

Your mind tells you to walk away, to just follow your flight instinct instead of fight, to just go back to your normal life. But here's the thing. Ever since Jay's made his way back to your life, it's been far from normal.

And if you're being honest, you had no interest in going back to your normal life. Normal's overrated anyways. You find your legs bringing yourself over to him, your heart leading the way.

"Hi," you simply say, planting yourself right in front of him.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?" You already know the answer, but you want to hear him say it.

"Waiting for you," Jay doesn't hesitate in answering you. This time will be different, he tells himself.

"I can walk myself home, thanks," you state, but your actions tell differently, as you make no sign of moving from your spot in front of him.

Jay's mind contemplates telling you everything. About how he regrets that friendship-breaking decision he made that one fateful day in the eighth grade, about his true feelings, about how he first suspected these feelings when he was 11 years old and saw you in your fancy get-up for the sixth grade dance but put it off as a little crush, and about how the same feelings grew into something so, so much more in the present. But seeing that putting all these thoughts into words would involve more than one functioning brain cell (which is all he's convinced he has in the moment, for the view of you staring up at him, looking like that, has his brain short-circuiting), he settles with:

"He called it off. It's over. The bet."

"Oh."

Silence.

Okay, Jay. This is your chance. Say it.

"Is that it?" You lift an eyebrow, awaiting for more explanation. When it doesn't come, you slightly nod and start backing away. "I'll see you around then."

Is that it? Do the two of you just go back to your respective lives now? How can Jay do that, when he doesn't even recall what his life was like before you entered it––and especially when he has absolutely no interest in going back to that life?

Fuck it.

"Y/N!" He stands up straight, a newfound confidence taking over. This time will be different, he tells himself. Because now, he knows what he wants. For sure.

You turn towards him, to see him already making his way towards you, stopping in his steps when he finds himself close enough to you that he can't concentrate anymore.

"I'm sorry for ditching you in the eighth grade. I'm sorry for ignoring you since then. I'm sorry for dragging you into this stupid mess and for pushing you away and I'm sorry for calling you a toy. Because it's far from truth. I like you. A lot. And––and I'm scared. I'm scared of what this means for us, because I just keep messing things up and all I know is that I don't wanna wake up tomorrow and realize you're not in my life anymore and––"

"Woah, woah, Jay. Slow down," you look up at him, the corners of your lips threatening to curve up into a smile. "You're an idiot, you know."

Jay's never really confessed his feelings to anyone before, per say, so he doesn't really know what to expect. But he's watched enough Netflix rom-coms in this lifetime (which is still not that many) to know that hearing the words "you're an idiot" isn't what you're supposed to hear after pouring your heart and soul out. Surely not, right?

"I––I'm not sure how to respond to that," he quietly says, searching your eyes for a sign, for anything. You giggle at his sudden shyness as you grab both his arms and look at him right in the eyes.

"It's okay. I get it, if anything, I'm also scared. But you somehow got me wrapped around your stupid finger, and I hate it," you smirk at him, your hands slowly making their way up his arms to circle around his neck.

Jay's hands naturally fall at your waist as he lets out a breathe he didn't even know he was holding as he returns your smirk. "Well, I could say the same about you. And I also hate it, for your information."

"Hmm, is that so? I guess it cancels out then, right?" You smile at him as he's pulling you in so close, your head turns cloudy.

Jay grins at you, his eyes holding so much joy and endearment as they quickly flicker down to your lips before returning to your own eyes. "I guess this only means one thing then."

"Mm, and what's that?"

And before Jay can answer––and because your life's been anything but normal lately––you make the first move this time, moving your head up to close the small gap between the two of you.

His arms instinctively tighten around you as you capture his lips with your very own, and Jay swears he's about to lift off into space right now. He's on cloud nine, and he makes no plans to touch the ground ever again.

The kiss quickly becomes fervent, all the pent-up tension that the two of you had for one another finally finding its way out, all the words that were previously left unsaid finally expressing themselves. You don't even care if you're being judged by the conservative faculty members of your school right now, or by the looks of fellow students walking past the two of you.

You try your best to keep yourself from smiling as he continues to press his lips against yours, his hand moving to hold your chin, guiding your mouth with his.

Before you find yourself getting carried away, you step back to take a breath, resting your forehead against his chest as his hands rest against your back. He smiles at the sound of you giggling against him.

Jay takes a step back to take one look at you and realizes, in this moment, that change can be good. And he's willing to undergo this change. As long as it's with you.

⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺ ⸺

The next morning, you bounce down the steps of your dorm building's entrance to meet the wide, bright smile of your ex-childhood-bestfriend-turned-fake-boyfriend-turned-real-boyfriend waiting for you in front of his car, small pastry bag in hand. You smile back at him.

Jay drives you to class that day.

And everyday after that.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ :

✰ let me know what you think! if u made it til the end, mwah :') <3

4K notes · View notes

luxekook · 4 years

Text

intimidation | myg

⇥ pairing: yoongi x reader

⇥ genre: fluff, a lil touch of smut, college AU

⇥ summary: in which you think Yoongi is intimidating bc of his dark clothing and his quiet ‘don’t give a fuck’ attitude… but then someone makes him laugh and you watch as his face lights up in the cutest gummy smile complete with shining eyes and blushing cheeks and BOOM you’re whipped for that boy

⇥ word count: 2.3k

⇥ warnings: dirty talk, light smut, cursing

⇥ sequel: intensity

Thursday, September 28th – 11:16am

Min Yoongi intimidated the living hell out of you.

While the boy in question was not all that tall or all that muscular, there was admittedly something in his aura that just screamed ‘big dick energy’... Not that you’d ever get the chance to confirm that hypothesis. You weren’t even sure you wanted to.

Shoulders slumping, you shifted your peripheral gaze off of Yoongi and back onto your professor as she droned on about evolution. Your shared Introduction to Biology class inspired an odd mix of dread and excitement every Tuesday/Thursday morning as a consequence of Min Yoongi’s sheer presence.

Your mind drifted back to the first class of the semester about a month ago...

Arriving in the lecture hall indicated on your class schedule, you took a seat in the middle of the room. You were spoiled for choice given that you had arrived fifteen minutes early for lecture. The first day of classes was always stressful for you, given your tendency to get lost within the many buildings on campus as well as your hatred for lateness.

As the room filled with more and more students, you shuffled through your backpack. “Where the hell is it?” you muttered, searching for your planner where you would jot down important notes.

Finally, you spotted it wedged in between two of your folders. Grasping it in triumph, you tugged it out of your backpack and placed it on your desk. Glancing back up, you found the coldest pair of brown eyes staring back at you.

“Is anyone sitting there?” The question came in a slow drawl, all rough and lazy. Long fingers adorned in rings shifted as the boy pointed towards the empty seat next to you. God, he was offensively good-looking.

You blinked and shook your head, “No, have at it.” His gaze pinned you in place for a few more brief seconds before his chin lifted in acknowledgment and he slumped into place beside you.

You had learned absolutely nothing that first class. Or any subsequent class that Min Yoongi deigned with his presence. The odds were about 50/50 on any given day.

Today, his presence was wreaking havoc on your nervous system. Since the initial encounter on your first day of class, the amount of words exchanged between the two of you could be counted on one hand. Last week he had asked you for your notes from a previous class he had missed, and you almost burned from the inside out with embarrassment as he took in your impeccably organized and color-coded notes with raised eyebrows and a slight smirk.

“Were you planning on framing these?” he had asked while snapping a quick series of photos of your notebook pages. In response, you had scowled, pulling your notebook out of his reach.

You were a nerd. You knew that. But you didn’t like being made fun of for it. Especially by a boy as arrogantly apathetic as Min fucking Yoongi.

Therefore, you were doing your absolute best to ignore him today. The hour and a half of class dragged by so slowly you thought you might have grown a couple gray hairs by the time your professor dismissed everyone.

Rushing to pack up your belongings and multitude of colored pens, a small slip of paper dropped onto your desk. Confused, you immediately glanced up to find the source and found Yoongi sauntering away from you, black backpack hitched over one shoulder carelessly.

Fingers shaking, you opened the hastily folded paper: “(y/n) – Sorry if I made you upset last class. I only meant to extend my compliments to the artist... – MYG.”

Compliments to the—Min Yoongi was so full of shit. But you couldn’t fight the small smile that spread across your face.

“(y/n) ... (y/n) ... (y/n)!”

The sound of your name shook you from your thoughts. Your roommate Nia decided that wasn’t enough and she shoved you in the arm.

“Ow, what the hell, Nia?” you grumbled, rubbing your left bicep dramatically.

Nia scoffed, “You’re staring into your bland salad like it holds the key to the universe. What’s up with you?”

Stabbing said salad with your fork, you waved your well-lettuced utensil in your roommate’s face, “What’s up is that I cannot stand Min Yoongi! He walks around looking like god’s gift to anyone attracted to men. Then, he has the audacity to critique my notes and give me a half-assed apology with further ridicule? The nerve! The gall!”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Nia cut off your rampage succinctly, “Min Yoongi apologized to you? We are talking about the same Min Yoongi, right? Bleached hair? Piercings? General hatred for life?”

You nodded. Nia’s eyebrows rose to new heights, “We must contact the historians. This is one for the books.”

Rifling through your planner, you pulled out the note Yoongi left you and thrust it in Nia’s direction, “Look!”

Unfolding the small torn paper, you watched as Nia’s eyes darted back and forth... and back and forth... and back and forth.

“Well?”

Nia’s wide eyes lifted to yours, “(y/n) ... Min Yoongi is flirting with you.”

You choked on your lettuce, “What? Where on earth are you getting that? He’s clearly roasting me.”

“Nope,” Nia threw the note back at you, “Clearly flirting. Damn, Min Yoongi is into my best friend? This is wild! Okay, you first need to get on that, and then you need introduce me to Park Jimin.”

“Are you insane?” Your outburst gained annoyed looks from the surrounding students in the dining hall and you lowered your voice, “I am not ‘getting on’ anyone!”

Rolling her eyes, Nia stared pointedly to the right, “So if I'm hearing you correctly, you’re saying that you don’t find him attractive?”

Your eyes followed her line of vision and landed on none other than your topic of conversation.

God, he looked good. Even surrounded by his group of attractive friends, Yoongi stood out to you. You were just about to glance away when it happened.

Kim Seokjin’s windshield wiper laugh burst through the cacophony of conversations, following what must have been one of his famously so-bad-they’re-good jokes.

And then Min Yoongi smiled.

Your heart stuttered in your chest as you watched his eyes crinkle, his cheeks turn a pretty pink and, his smile to widen into the cutest, most devastating gummy smile you had ever seen in your entire life.

“Holy fuck.” You exhaled. It was official. You were fucking whipped.

“Yup, that’s what I thought,” Nia’s smug tone pulled your focus away from this new version of Yoongi you were desperate to know, “Still going to deny that you want to jump his bones?”

“...No.”

You were scared shitless by Nia’s maniacal grin in response to your admission.

“Excellent,” she smirked, her palms rubbing together like a plotting villain, “Here’s what we’re going to do...”

Friday, September 29th – 10:34pm

Your hands tugged at the hem of the short leather miniskirt Nia loaned you for the night as your stomach flipped more times than Simone Biles’ floor routine.

Damn, you were nervous.

When Nia talked you into attending Kim Taehyung’s party, you had agreed pretty easily. You both had reasoned that Yoongi might not even be there; and, if he was, you would just see if he would approach you.

It had seemed so simple in the moment, but now as you grasped your beer you realized that nothing regarding Min Yoongi was simple. Since arriving about twenty minutes ago, you and Nia had immediately been recruited for beer pong by Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook. Unable to crush Nia’s dreams of hooking up with Jimin, you had agreed immediately even though you were both absolutely terrible at the game.

Jimin and Jungkook now only had one cup left to make, while you and Nia had five. You dipped the pong ball into the designated cup of water to clean it, took aim and watched in glee as the ball sailed into the front cup.

“Oh, fuck yes!” You and Nia high-fived, taking in the rare victory. Opening her mouth to respond, Nia’s words died in her throat as she looked over your shoulder.

“What is it?” you began to turn to see what was so alarming to your friend.

“No!” Nia hissed, “Don’t you dare turn around. Min Yoongi is staring at you like you’re a five-course meal and he’s starving.”

Your soul left your body, only to be snapped back into place with the interrupting cheers from Jimin and Jungkook as they sunk their last cup.

“Good game!” Jungkook’s arm wrapped around you in a half-hug. You shoot Nia a look, but she’s completely occupied in conversation with Jimin. Jungkook’s arm fell to encircle your waist when you felt it – the weight of a certain someone’s gaze.

You barely registered Jimin and Nia’s exit from the pong table and onto the makeshift dancefloor in Taehyung’s living room. And when Jungkook suggested getting another drink from the kitchen you almost shouted in agreement. Anything to escape the eyes you knew were glued to you.

He’s just a boy, you tried to remind yourself, you could handle Min Yoongi.

You followed Jungkook into the cramped kitchen, nodding along to whatever story he’s rambling on about. Locating the vast array of alcohol scattered along the kitchen island, you grabbed a solo cup and fixed yourself a rum and coke.

“...and then Jin-hyung said ‘It’s burgundy!’” You tuned back in to Jungkook’s story just in time to laugh in the appropriate place. You felt bad. Jungkook was cute and sweet, but just not your type.

“Jungkook,” a low voice broke through your shared laughter.

Jungkook’s eyes widened in alarm as he turned to face the intruder, “Yoongi-hyung! Wh-what’s up?”

Yoongi’s gaze narrowed; Jungkook gulped, “Bye, (y/n)-noona.”

You watched in horror as Jungkook literally scrambled out of the room to get away from you and Yoongi.

“Why’d you do that?” You looked up at Yoongi.

Damn, he looked good. His blonde locks were tousled like he had been running his hands through it and his cheeks were slightly flushed – probably from drinking.

Yoongi ignored your question, shooting a look at the group of boys occupying the kitchen counter space next to you and they immediately made themselves scarce.

His dark gaze turned back to you, “Why Jungkook?”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “What?”

“Why were you talking to Jungkook, (y/n)?” Yoongi moved closer to you, backing you into the counter behind you, “That boy couldn’t handle you.”

Your eyebrows quirked up, “And why’s that?”

“Because, baby, all that hair, all that ass, and all that attitude needs a man to give you what you want and what you need.”

You struggled to formulate an answer as you watched as he took a long sip of his beer, his eyes continuing to burn into yours.

“Are you drunk, Min Yoongi?”

“Lil’ bit,” he muttered and shot you a devastating half-smile, “But still sober enough to appreciate how goddamn good you look right now.”

Your mouth opened and closed several times before you choked out, “I thought you hated me?”

His hand darted through his hair as his jaw flexed once… twice, “Not even close.”

“But you don’t talk to me... you made fun of my notes!”

“I don’t talk to you because I think you’re so fucking cute with your colored pens and your oversized sweatshirts and your overused planner. I don’t talk to you because I want to ruin you and worship you all at once.”

All air had escaped your lungs at this point. You let out a jagged breath as Yoongi suddenly slid his hands around your waist.

He scooped you off the floor and placed you on the edge of the counter. Your arms circled his shoulders instinctually and his grip tightened on your hips. When he glanced down at you, he let out a rough breath, sounding like you were torturing him.

Turning to the side, you tried to hide from his intensity behind the curtain of your hair, but he just pushed it back behind your ear.

“Yoongi, please…” Your desperate words left your mouth subconsciously, the feeling of his lips so close to yours made your pulse race and your head spin.

“What do you want, baby?” he asked, his voice hoarse and his pupils dilated, “I’ll give you anything. Just ask.”

“Kiss me?” You barely finished asking your question before Yoongi’s lips slammed onto your own.

He kissed you like he wanted to own you – and to have you own him. Gravity tried to drag you down off the counter and your mouths separated in a gasp. Yoongi hoisted you up higher with a firm hand on the back of your thigh.

Hooking your leg around his slim waist, you tugged him into you, feeling every inch of his body respond to your touch. He breathed heavily as you dragged your nails down his back slowly, provokingly. You felt his responding groan rumble deep from within his chest.

His free hand latched into your hair and tugged your lips back to his. You both moaned as his tongue circled yours, twining around it, enticing yours to follow.

You swore the way Min Yoongi kissed could be felt all the way down to your bones.

His kisses got greedier, more desperate as he seemed to be trying to memorize the taste of your mouth on his. “God-fucking-damn," he panted, pulling back slightly and resting his forehead on yours.

You smiled, completely fucked out. His fingertips dragged down your skin slowly until he reached your waist. His hands slid up under your shirt, and he rested his palms against your skin, fingers splayed down over your hips. His hold was undeniably possessive.

Shifting his head into the crevice of your neck, Yoongi muttered, “Go out with me, (y/n).”

The only answer your last few braincells could formulate was a garbled “Mkay”. But judging from the smile you felt against your pulse point, it was good enough for him.

a/n: originally was going to make this fic about jungkook (inspired by this post), but I decided I needed to write it about Yoongi bc he is baby

#bts #btswritingcafe #bts smut #bts imagine #bts fic #yoongi #min yoongi #yoongi x reader #myg x reader #bts x reader #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts au #college yoongi #yoongi imagine

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stardust-kenobi · 3 years

Text

Mine

Poe Dameron x Fem!Reader

Requested by: @nocontr-ol 💕 sorry it took so long, lovely. I had finals and projects to focus on. (but now I am on break, yay!!)

Summary: A man won’t leave you alone at the cantina, lighting a fire in your boyfriend, Poe, who now needs to show you that you belong to him, and him only.

Warnings: Angry Poe. SMUT. So smutty, rough sex, oral, mild bondage, spanking, female masturbation. Poe cussing (bc it’s hot as fuck). !TW: Unwanted physical advances from a stranger!

Word count: 2.8k

A/N: it took me forever to finish this bc the end of the semester is here and I’m swamped with work. Poe’s behavior is probably a bit out of character...but I’d like to think he has a jealous side that we don’t see in the films

gif is not mine

The lights were dim on your skin as the exterior shine faded with the evening. Your crossed arms rested against the bar while you were alone with your drink and your thoughts. Poe was still within eyesight across the cantina, catching up with an old friend. Every minute or so his eyes darted to your gaze for a moment to ensure that you were where he left you, and that you were safe. You loved him and how deeply he cared for you.

You trace the top of your glass with your finger tip. Your ears drowned out the music blasting and voices crowding the room. You were known to get lost in your own mind when you were alone, something Poe always thought would get you in trouble. A figure meets your left sided peripheral vision. It must be Poe, you thought. Without verifying your thoughts, you turned to wrap your arms around him.

Oh, no. This isn’t Poe.

“Well I guess I don’t even need a pickup line then do I?” A strange and unfamiliar voice startled you as you look up at the figure. You quickly backed away, noticeably unsettled. You offered a warm smile and immediately reject him with a hint.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were my boyfriend”

“I could be your boyfriend, sweetheart...for the night of course” the towering figure continued, chuckling at his own words, paying no attention to your disinterest.

“No thank you, I’ll just go meet up with my boyfriend now” you politely declined again. As you turn to walk away, the man grabs your arm aggressively, halting your actions.

“No, stay a while, I don’t bite” he winked.

“Again, no thank you” you snarled. This only seemed to intrigue him further. His grip refused to release you. You’d hoped Poe had already had a moment to check on you across the room again. You checked where he stood before, he wasn’t there.

“C’mon, I really want you. If you come back to my place I’ll definitely make it worth your time.” His words slurred now, suddenly obvious that he was drunk. That explained why he couldn’t take the biggest of hints.

“I dont know what else to say to you except go away. I’m not interested” you stood your ground, your warm and polite smile fading quickly. His hand removed itself from your arm and travelled forcefully to your waist. Acting on your instinct, you pulled away, but with not enough force to separate yourself. He pulled you into him, no matter how much you tried to free yourself.

“I don’t think I’m taking no for an answer. I like when women play hard to get” he whispered.

Before the stranger had a chance to bother you any more, his grip and his presence were ripped from your body and out of your field of vision when Poe shoved him off you with a look of rage so terrifying in his eyes.

“What did he say to you?” Poe turned to you.

“He wouldn’t leave me al-” you began. Poe cared little to hear your whole statement considering he already caught a glimpse of what occurred. He heard enough.

His fist tightened into a ball, flung back behind him, and plunged into the scumbag that harassed you. You gasped at his actions. The man became defenseless in his inebriation and fell to the cold and crowded floor.

“Poe!” You cried out to him to stop. His fist pulled back again, but stopped itself when he heard your protest. He looked at you, arm shaking, then looked at his knuckles in shock that he was about to actually beat this man.

“Don’t you ever fucking touch her, talk to her, or even look at her again, you got it?” He yelled. Jealously and rage rushed through his veins and made itself known in the tone of his voice. “She’s mine, asshole”. He shoved the man deeper into the floor. You knew you’d be lying if you didn’t admit that it was attractive to watch him defend you like that, and be so possessive of you at the same time. Overall, though, you were relieved to be rescued from the situation.

“Poe, baby, look at me” You demanded, grabbing his warm face, surely steaming from his evident anger.

“I think he got the point. Just leave it alone!” You protested.

“Let’s go” he ignored your words.

“What?”

“I said let’s go. Get your stuff, c’mon. We’re leaving” Poe emphasized, grabbing your bag from the bar and wrapping his arms firmly around your waist before leading you out with him.

“Hey! Stop it, Poe. Let go of me!” you hissed. The cold air struck your skin at the moment you both exited the cantina.

“I didn’t do anything”

“I know you didn’t. I saw what he did. But I am taking you home, now.” He insisted. His eyes were still so angry and this confused you. Poe said he wasn’t upset with you, so why was he so stern toward you? Why was he rushing to get home?

—-

When you arrived to his place, Poe slammed the front door open with an unnecessary strength and guided you inside with a hand on your back. Swiftly, you both removed your coats and hung them by the door. You’d not said one word to each other since leaving the cantina. At this point, you were scared to speak to him.

“Are you okay?” you broke the sharp silence hesitantly while Poe leaned against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, and his gaze directed at nothing but the thoughts running through his head.

Rather than answering your question, he slowly moves over to you across the room where you leaned against the wall. He placed both hands above your head on the wall and brought his face incredibly close to yours.

“You know, I’d hoped I wouldn’t see the day when another man tried to take you from me” He began softly “But, tonight...I had to watch that happen”

“Poe I was going to get away from hi-” You started, only to be cut off.

“No, no. I know that, baby. I do...but I don’t know what I’ll do with myself if I don’t take you, right now, and give you a little reminder...that you are mine”. The coarseness in his whisper against your ear sent shivers and excitement all throughout your body.

You were speechless, and he noticed.

“Do you know how it felt to see his hands tightened around your waist? Do you know what that did to me?” His voice was rough, but barely broke a whisper.

“W-what did it do, Poe?” You inquired. You were turned on by his behavior and he hadn’t even touched you yet. His hand met your throat and applied pressure, pushing you back into the wall.

“It lit a fire in me, y/n. Jealously that I’d never felt before” he growled. “And now I have to put that fire out”

“Okay” you agreed, still mostly speechless from hearing Poe talk to you like this.

“Now you’re gonna go take your clothes off, all of it, lay on the bed, and wait for me” he demanded. You’d not dare tell him no, you were too excited for what he was going to do.

You obeyed his commands and remove all your clothes before laying flat on your back atop the comfortable bed. Minutes later you heard his footsteps approach the bedroom. As he came into view, you observed his stance. He had his buttoned down shirt open at the top, and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He held a glass of whiskey in his hand, swirling it before finishing it off, never breaking his gaze at your naked body.

He groaned quietly at the sight. You smirked at him, but his gaze remained stern, as it had since you left the cantina.

“Fuck. You’re perfect, y/n” he admired your body while you were on display for him. Only for him.

After resting his glass on the table, he removed his black leather belt. Rather than throwing it to the floor. He placed it gently next to you on the bed. What was that for? You wondered.

His shirt followed the belt, but was dropped to the floor. He stood there, in the same spot, still staring at you, now with only his black pants clinging to him. You admired his chest, wanting it closer to you.

“Poe...” you called to him

“Touch yourself” He instructed. You wasted no time, spreading your legs open to give him a better view. Your fingers found their way to your clit and began circular motions that made your body jump from your already heightened arousal.

“That’s it” he encouraged you. “Enjoy it while you can, you won’t be touching yourself for the rest of the night. You won’t be touching anything, actually”

You gasped, realizing now that he had many intentions for the belt that he left next to you. You continued to pleasure yourself for him, small moans escaping your lips for Poe to hear. He licked his lips subtly, eyebrows furrowed. He was so ready to get a taste of you but made himself wait so he could enjoy the show.

It was as if he couldn’t handle NOT touching you anymore when he walked toward the bed and grabbed the belt aggressively.

“Turn around, lay on your stomach” he said, and you do as he commanded.

The clinking of the metal on the belt grabbed your attention. You were unable to see what was happening, but you had an idea.

“Hands behind you”

Poe placed his knees on either side of your ass and grabbed your wrists together. With the belt in the shape of an 8, both your wrists are placed in each side before he quickly tightens it around them. With your hands bound behind your back, you were at his mercy.

He backed up, and pulled your hips up and backward with him. With the side of your face planted into the bed and your ass in the air, Poe was given open access to your very sensitive, already dripping sex. His fingertips circled your wetness and without much warning, he plunged two of them inside of you from behind. You gasped loudly, not expecting him yet.

“My god, you’re so wet for me already” he reveled, groaning at the feeling of your soaked warmth around his fingers. He curled them inside you, pumping at a steady pace.

“Fuck, Poe” you whimpered from your pleasure.

“You like that?” He said softly, barely above a whisper. Then, you feel the sudden sensation of his tongue against your clit with his fingers still working away inside you.

“S-shit” you moaned, the pleasure grew significantly.

Your arms squirmed as you wanted the ability to reposition yourself. The frustration of being restricted was arousing to you, something you didn’t know you liked until now. His tongue lapped between your folds and circled your clit rhythmically, his consistency pushing you to the edge already.

“Poe I’m gonna cum” you announced. He knew how to make you cum quickly and knew not to change anything about what he was doing.

“Oh my god, Yes” You moaned. You fell apart so gracefully onto his mouth and around his digits. Your orgasm flooded your body and somehow felt more intense at the arched angle he had you in. Your arms involuntarily squirmed again, wanting to grasp something in your state of euphoria. He noticed, and used his unoccupied hand to grab your bonded hands resting on your tailbone, a gesture that in the moment was so romantic.

As he picked up on your signals that you had fallen from your high, he removes his touch. You could see from your peripheral vision that he took his fingers into your mouth, savoring your taste.

“Now I have to show you who this pussy really belongs to” he purred in your ear, leaning down next to your face. Your body tingled, eager for him to take you.

He brushed the tip of his length against your sensitivity, causing your body to jolt. He softly chuckled, planning to tease you further. Poe circled your clit softly with the tip before pushing himself inside you only slightly, and removing himself again.

“Poe, please.” You begged.

“Please what baby?”

“Please fuck me” you pleaded. He slammed into you upon your request and relentlessly thrusted without time for you to adjust. You whimpered loudly, feeling a painful discomfort that slowly transformed to pleasure for you.

“Oh baby you feel so good....you’re so fucking tight” he breathed through his efforts. He ceased his thrusting and held himself inside you, completely buried. Your arched position allowed his length to press against a new angle in your walls. You whined as that new feeling was already overwhelming, almost too much with his size.

Your noises were mostly muffled from your face being pressed into the mattress. He wanted to hear you. He needed to hear your euphoric noises.

Poe’s hands moved from grabbing your hips to your shoulders and lifted you up from the bed. He did this both to expose your lips to release your moans as well as to use you as leverage to fuck you deeper.

He made no attempt to be quiet and exerted all his sweet moans into the air, turning you on by his voice alone. As he thrusted harder, he picked up his speed as well.

Poe suddenly wrapped one hand around your throat, causing you to struggle for air. He pulled you up and back, bringing his mouth to your ear.

“Who does this pussy belong to? Whose is it?” He growled in your ear.

“I-it’s yours” you managed to mumble

“Speak up”

“It’s yours, P-Poe” you moaned louder.

“That's right. This pussy is mine. No one else can fuck you, only me” he continued. “You got that?”

“Yes” you breathlessly whined.

He released his grip on you, and pressed your head back down onto the bed. You wanted so badly to touch yourself while he pounded into you, but your wrists remained bound together. It was as if he had read your mind when he reached around your hips to massage your clit. Your breathing hitched at the sudden sensation.

“Look at you, taking my cock so well, baby girl” He purred. “So fucking pretty”

Poe’s moaning grew rougher and deeper as he approached his orgasm. The palm of his hand suddenly struck your ass, you pleasantly winced at the feeling. It was followed by several more, each hurting and stinging your skin more deliciously than the previous slap. He released something resembling a growl at the sight of your skin turning a cherry red from him striking you.

The pleasure you experienced became overwhelming. Poe repositioned himself slightly, hitting deeper inside your walls, you could barely take it. Your eyes watered at the intensity of your ecstasy and you cried his name.

“Poe, yes, fuck. It feels so good” you whimpered.

“Yeah? You little slut, you love that shit don’t you?” He snarled.

“I’m gonna cum inside you, y/n...as another reminder to you, that you’re mine” He grunted through his choppy breathing. His thrusts became less rhythmic. He fell apart and you felt his cum fill you completely. He groaned loudly through his orgasm, and gripped your hips firmly through the intensity of his high.

“Fuck” Poe breathed, still buried inside you. Your body ached from the tense position you’d been in the entire time. After removing himself, he immediately worked to free your wrists.

“Gotta get these off of you”

Finally, a sweet feeling of relief overcame you with the returned access to your arms. You turned to lay flat on your back, catching your breath in the process.

“I’ll get you some water” Poe sweetly announced, before getting up, putting on sweatpants, and leaving the room.

You smiled warmly to yourself, loving the type of attention you received tonight. Poe returned with a glass of water, sitting next to you on the bed. He made sure you got plenty of hydration after the heavy breathing you exerted.

“Feeling okay?” Poe inquired.

“Yeah, just worn out right now” you chuckled.

There was silence for a moment while both of you settled down.

“I won’t leave you like that again. I’m sorry” he broke the silence, changing the subject. This confused you.

“What?”

“At the cantina. I’m sorry I left you alone for that long. That guy would’ve never had the chance to tou-”

“That wasn’t your fault, Poe.” You interrupted. “He was just an asshole. You know I can handle myself” you reminded him.

“Oh, trust me, I know you can defend yourself, y/n, but I still want to protect you when I can”

“You did more than enough...in more ways than one” you giggled.

“I love you, y/n” he abruptly expressed

You smile widely like an idiot, barely able to keep eye contact with him.

“I love you, Poe”

“You drink up. I’m going to get you a bath running” he says before planting a tender kiss on your perspired forehead.

It was impossible not to fall deeper in love with him every day.

#Poe Dameron #Poe #Poe x reader #Poe Dameron x reader #Poe Dameron smut #Poe x reader smut #Poe Dameron fluff #my work #TFA #TLJ #TROS #poe dameron x you #Star Wars #Star Wars smut

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pregnant-piggy · 4 years

Text

I’ll take care of you

Draco Malfoy x reader

Request: hey! can you write a draco x reader where they are in a new relationship and the readers parents are abusive but they don’t beat her bc they are all about the image but for torture they barely feed her when she is at their house on holidays so when draco sees her again after the holidays he notice that she is extremely thin and he is really worried and you continue thank you!! (anon)

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: talking of abuse (nothing really explicit, but it’s talked of)

A/N: I didn’t want to write this too explicitly, because it’s a heavy subject. I am sorry it took so long. I hope you like it :)

- - - - - -

The Hogwarts express blew steam into the hot air as platform 9¾ was crowded with people. Families said their last goodbyes to each other, parents kissing their children and already longing for Christmas when most of their children would come back or sighing happily as they now finally had some peace. There were first years nervously standing beside their trunks, staring at the ink red train. Birds squeaked in their cages and cats that had escaped ran between the people.

You sat in an empty compartment, staring at the scene on the other side of the window. Your parents had dropped you off earlier, before the crowd. Their goodbyes had been quick and cold, like always.

Resting your head against the back of the seat, you closed your eyes. A deep breath calmed the nerves. You had been going to this school for five years and yet you were scared. Your sixth year was standing ahead of you, a year full of exams, new teachers and more stress. But you were looking forward to it.

A whistle was blown and the final students hopped on the train. A few hung out of the window, waving goodbye to the people on the platform until they disappeared from view. The decor of the station soon changed for the scenery of the green fields. Lands of grass and wildflowers passed by in a blur as the train made speed.

For the first time since you had gotten home after last year, you relaxed. Your compartment was empty, but you didn't mind. You embraced the silence and stared out of the window to the green haze.

The voice of the person you hadn't seen in so many weeks and whom you had missed dearly, broke your thoughts.

‘I thought you weren't even on the train,’ Draco said and he sat down next to you, but not before kissing you softly on your lips. You rested your head on his shoulder and breathed in his calming scent.

You and Draco had gotten together in the last month before the summer. The Slytherin boy you had had a crush on for months back then, had answered to your feelings by asking you out on a date.

- -- -

Three Gryffindor students were talking loudly in the library as you tried to concentrate on the work in front of you. Herbiology had never been your strongest subject and you needed to get a good grade on this test or who knows what would happen.

Just as you were reading about the healing powers of the pink and purple plants you had been studying this semester, someone else entered the library. You didn't need to look longer than a second to see who it was; you could recognise Draco from miles away.

He loitered at the bookcase and you quickly turned back to your book, before he would realise you were staring at him. But now you had seen him, you could not not think about him. His light hair and light grey eyes flew around in front of your eyes and your Herbiology was left for what it was.

You had been crushing on the Slytherin for a while now and you weren't even sure how you got to it. It was one day, when he bumped into you in the Potions cabinet and he apologised, that you had felt the butterflies as he touched your shoulder when saying sorry. And ever since then you had found yourself drawn to him whenever he was in the room. Funny how such a little touch could turn your life upside down.

Madam Pince had shooed the Gryffindors away and the library was filled with such a silence that you could hear your own thoughts loud and clear, as if they were being spoken out loud. Draco stood at the bookcase closest to you and it took all your strength not to look at him.

You stared at the words of the book that lied in front of you. They didn't make any sense. You dropped your head sighing in your hands and stared with empty eyes ahead of you.

‘What are you working on?’ Draco asked and you scared up.

The blood rushed to your cheeks and you scrambled up. You looked Draco and then back at your book before you answered. ‘Well, right now nothing.’

‘So I can sit next to you?’

‘Uhm, sure.’

Draco dropped his bag on the table and took the chair next to you. He didn't pull out any books but instead turned to you. His knees were pressed lightly against your thigh and you balled your fist on the side of your body, out of his sight.

‘Shouldn't you be doing something?’ you asked, afraid he would leave if you didn't say anything.

Draco laughed loud, receiving an angry glare from madam Pince. He shook his head with a smile on his face and got closer to you, resting his arm on the back of your chair.

‘I wanted to talk to you,’ he said with a low voice.

‘Why?’ you blurted out before you could stop yourself.

Draco laughed softly again. ‘Because I want to get to know you. I fancy you, you see?’

You stared at him for a second and your jaw dropped. He liked you? You tilted your head to the side and watched Draco. He still had a smile on his face but you could see through his confident exterior that he was anxiously waiting for a reply from you.

‘I fancy you too, Draco,’ you said and gave him a smile.

He seemed encouraged by your confession and moved even more closer.

‘Enough to ditch Herbiology and spend time with me?’

‘That you even have to ask,’ you grinned.

- -- -

You didn't look very good, Draco noticed. Something had changed over the summer and when he took your hand and felt that your fingers took less space in his hands, he realised you had gotten thinner. Not just a little, healthy thinner, but more of a haven't-eaten-in-a-while-thin.

Your head rested on his shoulder and he could hear your steady breaths. He had missed that sound, just as he had missed everything about you. Even though you and him had only been dating for a month before the summer came, he had grown to you so much over that time. And in the summer he had not seen you at all and even barely spoken to you. Your letters were few and short.

Draco had been filled with doubts over the summer; did you still like him? Or had you realised that maybe you didn't like Draco after all?

But now you were resting against him, your hand tightly in his he realised that his doubts had been unjust. You liked him just as much as he liked you. Or maybe even love.

‘Darling?’ Draco asked and you lifted your head from his shoulder to look at him. ‘How was your summer. Your letters weren't exactly detailed.’

You sighed softly and averted your eyes from Draco's face. Your fingers played with the bottom of your shirt and you didn't look up as you talked. ‘It was fine,’ you muttered.

‘Okay,’ Draco slowly said, taking your hand in his. ‘You know you can tell me anything, right?’

You looked up to Draco and he saw tears pooling in your eyes. Without hesitating he pulled you close to his chest and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You sobbed softly into the crook of Draco's neck as he rubbed your back.

‘It's alright, darling. I'm here,’ he whispered into your ear and you tightened your grip on him.

For minutes the compartment was only filled with the sound of your sobs and Draco's reassuring words. He wanted to know why you were crying, but he knew he should give you your time. He was there for you, now and for as long as you'd have him.

‘You want to tell me?’ he whispered as you pulled away.

Your face was close to his and he watched the tears in your eyelashes. Your eyes were red and your nose was running, but Draco thought you were more beautiful than ever as you trusted him to be vulnerable in front of him. He cupped your cheek with his hand and kissed you on your nose, making you giggle lightly.

With the back of your hand you wiped away the tears of your face before you spoke with a quivering voice. ‘It's my parents. They- When they get mad at me- The whole summer-’

You stopped talking and sighed defeated, looking at your hands. Draco took your hand gave it a reassuring squeeze. ‘Take your time.’

You took a deep breath and looked back at Draco. ‘They don't let me eat. They say they can't physically hurt me, but they don't give me dinner or breakfast. They say they're disappointed in me and that I bring a shame to the family...’

Your voice got softer again and you looked insecure at Draco. He felt the hate for your parents razing through his veins. He wanted to do something to them. But now his priority was you, as you were crumbling apart in Draco's hands. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you leaned into his chest.

‘It's alright, love. I am glad you told me. I will take care of you, darling. We'll find a solution. We will stay at Hogwarts for Christmas and I am sure my parents won't mind if you come to stay with us next summer. Don't worry, I’ll help you through this,’ Draco said, his own voice trembling with emotion. ‘You’re safe with me.’

‘Thank you Draco,’ you said in his chest and moved your head to place a kiss on his jaw.

‘I would do anything for you, darling.’

- - - - - - -

taglist

general HP: @kitkatkl @girllety @yuptha-tsme @sleep-i-ness @iamak20 @thefuturelawyer @weasleydream @missmulti @deafgirltingz @moonstarrnghtsky @bloodblossom73 @mytreec @lilulo-12fanfiction @emmaloo21 @kashishwrites @ananad1 @figlia--della--luna

let me know if you want to be added!

MASTERLIST

#draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco x reader #draco malfoy #draco imagine #harry potter x reader #harry potter #draco #malfoy #draco malfoy x you

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