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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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doctor who but i've never watched it

and so it begins again. the people asked for it. the people got it. i will ensure the people regret it.

i have never watched this show, or seen an edit, but i am a thorough researcher and i feel that i've got the essence of it.

this is what i have gathered. academicians worldwide take note.

Firstly, so I don't anger anyone, I accept and acknowledge that the tardis is blue and not yellow. My misinformation was from a Drarry fanfiction, and I had hitherto regarded Drarry fanfiction as the absolute truth.

There are doctors, and there are at least fifteen of them. At least two of them are David Tennant, which I can respect.

I'm not sure why the doctors are doctors, because I can find no trace of any medical procedure except for one doctor who licks things, which he learned from the previous doctor. If this is sufficient reason, I apologise for doubting their credentials.

On the other hand, if they are doctors thanks to a postdoctoral degree, this is also fine, though I have never seen anyone study anything. There is however a doctor, and there were people upset about her, but the fandom pointed out she set the tardis on fire, which is apparently a very doctor thing to do. Setting things on fire is absolutely something any research scholar would love, so again, apologies for doubting their credentials.

At least one doctor is gay. It is probably one of the David doctors, which checks out. He says someone, I think a dentist, is hot. I envy the maybe-dentist.

A t least one doctor is trans. I was unable to find them. But they exist. Oh yes, the fandom assures me they exist.

David Tennant as well as Ncuti Gatwa were fanboys, first of the show, and second of David Tennant, and thus they got into acting. Just a fun tidbit from me, since I am now the authority on this fandom.

There are time machines with which the doctors have sex by piloting them, which is questionable because the time machines are only partially sentient. I am not sure if the time machines are the tardis. But the tardis is blue, and not yellow, of that I am certain.

There was a stage play. Or maybe that was a metaphor for the production budget of the early seasons. I am not sure, but toddler David Tennant watched it. I assume no one took a 3 year old to a stage play, so through scientific deduction, it must have been a metaphor.

At some point, Death is an agony aunt and they have to spill secrets to it, or drown in a lake of human skulls. Who is this they? It's so obvious that the fandom sees no need to explain it, and neither do I. I do know it though. Of that you may remain certain.

A David doctor has a niece and she likes being his niece.

A David doctor has a best friend named Donna. He kisses her head. She supports his fruitiness. It is wholesome. It killed him when he lost her.

Slight tangent, but younger David doctor looks like Andrew Garfield. Current David in photos does give Ben Barnes energy. Any Wolfstar shippers, I believe you've found the Wolfstar kid. It is David Tennant.

A lot of people are David Tennant. A reliable Pinterest post on Doctor Who, clearly well researched, gave me the statistic that 15% of Doctor Who is David Tennant. From the amount of David Tennant that I ran across in my research, I don't understand it but I don't doubt it, either.

Speaking of Andrew Garfield, he in involved in this somehow. I am not sure how, but you cannot escape Andrew Garfield. He is even a part of fandoms he never acted in.

There is an individual named Catherine, I think she is the actress, but she could be a character. She seems to have much less knowledge about Doctor Who lore than I do. David Tennant finds it funny. Maybe he would find me funny, too.

The doctors installed some things in the tardis, from a wheelchair ramp to a jukebox. I don't know why a jukebox was needed. If I'm honest I don't know what a jukebox is. I don't know what the tardis is. But it is blue, and not yellow.

There is a French catchphrase.

Something happens in Wales. I don't know what it is, but something always seems to be happening in Wales in these fandoms, so I don't doubt it.

There is an old Doctor Who in a wheelchair, and he is happy to see a David doctor.

They go around in space, and do things. Who is this they? You and I both know the answer, so we needn't talk about it.

The show intro is "doo wee doo".

There is an alien who is not a mouse, the alien is The Meep, and uses the definite article as pronouns. David doctor is supportive of this, which is very good.

I found baby Yoda in the show, but apparently they call it a 'goblin' there, and someone doesn't like it.

There is a lot to do with time. There is a time hole, and things happen, and people die and are resurrected. There is danger, but it is fun.

They have CGI, and it is not good, which is the best thing about it. Who is they? Please stop asking me. It is rather obvious and something I definitely know.

Someone's boyfriend dies and the boyfriend is then resurrected but then gets lost with his boyfriend but then is reincarnated as a girl who would still call herself the someone's boyfriend but then she is replaced by the boyfriend but he's different now. I apologise for any errors that have crept it, but the tardis is blue and not yellow.

Someone named Martha is a doctor, and someone is very proud of her for it.

The eleventh and twelfth doctors like bow ties.

David Tennant wants to be ginger. David Tennant always gets what he wants. Who can refuse David Tennant? David Tennant is then ginger.

A David doctor gets a happy ending.

Someone yelled at Neil Gaiman about this. It was a mistake. He said that since it had already been done, he wouldn't want to give David's character a happy ending in S3, that would be a trifle unoriginal.

A lesson to be learned, Good Omens fandom, just a bit of advice from your son, do not yell at Neil Gaiman, it does not go well. Rumour has it he murdered the people who complained about him always wearing black. Of course, there is the fact that he doesn't exist, but that doesn't seem to have stopped him.

The doctors manifest in the previous doctor's clothes, which is apparently so last season. The tardis also manifests. I don't know where, or how. But it is blue, and not yellow.

I know, there was a lot of lore, so many of you thought I wouldn't be able to gather it all. But look how much research I did! I've got it better than maybe-actress-maybe-character Catherine, I'm sure :"]

Anyway, all the major plot points are covered above, so anyone who hasn't watched Doctor Who, feel free to refer to this and impress your Whovian friends with your knowledge! [not to be judgemental, but what a dreadfully Dr Seuss name, I rather like it]

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nothingweirdhere · 8 months

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JUST FINISHED SEASON TWO OF GOOD OMENS. WHAT THE FUCK.

#what the fuck??????#you don’t even understand how badly i wanna @ neil #like sir EXPLAIN YOURSELF #W H Y #oh my god its gonna be so long before the next season i don’t think i’ll survive the wait #genuinely i might just die #what the fuck.#(WHY ARE GABRIEL AND BEELZEBUB THE ONES THAT GET TO RUN AWAY TOGETHER)#(i mean i love that for them but. WAIT YOUR GODDAMN TURN)#(literally just salt in the fucking wound. look at what could’ve been 😭)#good omens #jx.txt

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autistic-katara · 8 months

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this is probably kinda niche and idk if this is a hot take exactly but in a Good Omens AU Mike would be the angel/Aziraphale and Will would be the demon/Crowley (not based on their personalities or anything but based on how they and other handle their queerness)

#i can probably badly explain if u want #good omens #good omens au #ineffable husbands #byler #stranger things #mike wheeler #will byers

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gnomeantics · 9 months

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one idea i've been toying around with is that of "holy matrimony", and the inversion of that. i think that (especially in queer contexts) the concept of flipping "traditional" marriage and all that it stands for on its head is very powerful but that has a new weight to it when the participants are inherently connected to the holy aspects of it. one giving by participating in a ceremony rooted in holiness, and the other giving by helping to bastardise that. meeting in the middle, on their own side, etc?

#please forgive how little sense this makes #i accidentally saw the EVERY leak last night and can't stop thinking about them since #stayed up for ages just thinking about it. thinking about them #i'm unwell about them #but yeah this is a little nonsensical because i'm tired because i stayed up for ages thinking about them #this is a paraphrased version of the thoughts i wrote down then #and that was anywhere between one and three in the morning #anyway #good omens #god this is badly explained #gnomeantics original 🌟

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neil-gaiman · 2 years

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After digging into Good Omens very badly (book / Rebecca Front narrated dramatic audiobook / BBC Radio 4 series / Amazon-BBC TV series). I have a question. As someone from whose home city is Manchester, who chose it as one of Crowley's creations, you or Terry? And if it was you, if you can explain, what did my city stereo to tick you off.

I'm pretty sure that was Terry's. But I would not have argued.

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chaotic-orphan · 1 month

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Intoxicating Fear (Xiii)

Family Time

Continued from // Masterpost

*~*~*~*~*

Kit’s palms were sweating as he walked into the hospital, stopping at the reception desk and smiling at the receptionist, Heather. She smiled with her painted red lips when she saw Kit. It shouldn’t have made him nauseous, Heather always had red lipstick on and it suited her. She was very pretty with her blonde hair and big blue eyes and red lips, but it just reminded him now of Ambrose.

“Hey Kit, you goin’ up to your old man?”

“Yeah, if that’s okay.”

“Of course, doll. Go right ahead.”

Kit thanked her and walked on to the stairs. He needed the stairs to give him the time to gather his thoughts. What was he going to say? How was he going talk to him after knowing exactly what Ambrose was like? When he knew exactly what Omen was capable of… and Kit was getting off light.

His mind was still somewhat in tact. How was he supposed to look at him, the man that took Kit into his house and raised him, and know that he had been spared?

The guilt bloomed like tar in his gut; pitch black, oozing and heavy. Fuck, his hands were shaking. What if his powers flared up when he was in there? He couldn’t control his red lightning that Ambrose kept bringing out in him… and it only happened when he was… well, angry, but —

Fuck.

Kit paused on the final step to Mentor’s floor. How much of himself would he see in Mentor now? How much suffering? Would he recognise the commands that Ambrose plagued his mind with?

It didn’t matter.

That was the thought that forced him up the final step and down the hallway to the psych ward. It didn’t matter what he thought or what he would see or face, because it was Mentor. If the roles were reversed, Kit knows that Mentor would be in here to see him— every single day, not every week.

The power-proofed psych ward was on the basement floor so if patients wanted to jump out of windows they could do it with minimal damage to themselves or others.

Kit hated walking up to the doors and pressing the button to be buzzed in. Hated how he knew that even if somehow Mentor got better miraculously, he wouldn’t be able to get out himself and come home.

Kit hadn’t been to Mentor’s house since the docks either, he should probably pay it a visit, put on the heat. The thoughts of the empty house getting damp and lonely… well, Kit just knew that mentor wouldn’t want that.

The door buzzed and Kit pushed it open. He walked down the hall, took a right at the nurses station and then stopped at the last door on the left. It was opened, so was his window. Mentor sat in his armchair staring at the birds as they sang a happy tune.

Kit paused at the door, just watching Mentor as he hummed softly back to the birds. He looked peaceful, wearing his favourite maroon sweater that Kit had gotten him one Christmas and his blue and red chequered pyjama bottoms.

Kit swallowed and stepped into the room, but where before Mentor would have noticed him lingering in the doorway, he didn’t even turn his head as Kit walked into the room and sat on the edge of his bed.

“Mentor,” said Kit softly. The corner of Mentor’s lips quipped up into a small smile at Kit’s voice, and Kit wanted to cry. He caught him on one of his rare good days. “How are you doing?”

“The birds are singing, Kit,” Mentor replied, his gaze dreamy. “The sun is shining. You’re here. I’m somewhat lucid.”

He turned his head to Kit, his warm blue eyes smiling. “I think I’m doing pretty great.”

Kit couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t a conscious thought, but he had crossed the short distance between the bed and Mentor’s chair to throw his arms around his— his family. He wanted so badly to tell him everything that had happened. Why he hasn’t visited in the last three months. Explain everything, tell him he knew what Mentor was going through because he was going through it too.

He settled for Mentor’s arms wrapping around him in their strong warm embrace, not at all cold like Ambrose.

“Hey kiddo, it’s okay.”

“I just…” the words choked on the way out, so Kit just squeezed Mentor tighter. “I miss you so much.”

“It’s alright. You’re here now, it’s all that matters isn’t it? Right now. We don’t have long before some nurse will give out to me for having visitors eh?” Kit laughed despite himself and pulled away from Mentor, nodding. Mentor didn’t let Kit’s arm go, he gave it a small, reassuring squeeze. “So we need to catch up on everything important, right?”

Kit nodded, his heart overwhelmed with joy. “Yeah.”

“Go on, sit down,” said Mentor, gesturing to the bed and Kit obeyed.

Mentor leaned forward and clasped his hands together, dropping them between his knees and fixing his features into a more sombre expression. Kit had the sudden feeling that Mentor somehow knew about Ambrose and his whole tragic ordeal, but then something glimmered in his eyes — an old familiar mischief that Superhero said Kit inherited from Mentor.

“Who’s top of the premier league? What have I missed? What about the rugby, and your car guys— what’re they called?”

“Formula one?” Kit asked with a startled laugh. He forgot he could be happy, but Kit wasn’t thinking about anything other than how good he felt.

“Yeah! Formula one, Ferrari and all them. I need all the updates because they only have the shit channels in here, and none of them are sports.”

Kit laughed again before he descended into a recap of all the sports developments he could think of recently. Well, almost recently if he discounted the last three month gap in his knowledge.

From sports they went onto movies, from movies they talked about the house and Kit’s apartment and then Mentor asked: “and how about work? Are you still in the Hero business?”

Kit could feel his smile fade at the question. That was the question of the hour was the it? Was he still a Hero? Could he even be considered one anymore?

He ignored the quiet voice in his head that asked: did he even want to be one anymore?

Instead Kit skirted around the issue. He told Mentor that Superhero had taken over as the new Superhero, that Kit worked closely with him. “Oh yeah. I always liked Superhero. He’s a nice guy, good moral compass.”

Kit told him that they were still hunting down Omen and Mentor’s eyes narrowed into points as sharp as daggers. “No.”

Kit blinked. “What?”

“No,” Mentor repeated. He got out of his chair and he walked towards Kit, grabbing both of Kit’s hands and squeezing them before kneeling in front of Kit. Kit stared down, his eyes as wide as saucers. “Kit promise me! Promise me you won’t go near that man.”

“Mento—”

“Kit!” Mentor cut in, his voice urgent, his eyes pleading with all his soul. “Promise me! You’ll stay miles away from him. He is only pain. I spent twenty years in the Hero business and I had never met a monster before him, Kit. You promise me!”

“I—”

“Promise me!”

“I promise,” Kit whispered. He didn’t mean for it to come out so quietly, but the urgency that Mentor was speaking with— Kit couldn’t say no to him. Not when he was like this. Tension released from Mentor’s shoulders as he let out a sigh, squeezing Kit’s hands again before letting them go and getting to his feet.

He put a hand in Kit’s hair and Kit froze, remembering cold fingers yanking his head up — but no! This was Mentor, not Ambrose. Mentor ruffled his hair affectionately in the same way he used to when he first met Kit and then withdrew his hand.

“You’re a good kid, Kit.”

Kit scoffed as he got to his feet. “Kid? Reckon I could still take you old man.”

Mentor’s eyes lit up with that glimmering mischief that Kit missed so much. “Oh yeah? Think you’re a tough guy now?”

“Tough enough to knock you on your arse.”

Mentor hummed like a monk, bringing his hands together in a pray before moving into a kung-fu pose, palm stretched out in front of him raised towards the ceiling. “You have much yet to learn, young Padawan.”

When Mentor flexed his fingers for Kit to give him his best shot, Kit smiled softly and walked towards him, finally wrapping his arms around Mentor instead. Mentor stiffened initially then relaxed and enveloped Kit in his warmth. “Hey Kid. It’s okay.”

It wasn’t fair, none of this was fair. Mentor wasn’t old enough to be retired, he was only… what? Late thirties? Early forties? He shouldn’t be here in this fucking psych ward, he should be at home with Kit. He should still be the number one hero. He should… he should have his own mind back. If it wasn’t for Ambrose, Mentor could still have his life!

“Hey… hey! Hey!” Mentor started shouting and Kit let go of him, stepping away. Mentor’s face contorted into fear and anger and disgust as he backed up to the wall, gasping. “Hey! What?! What did you do to me?”

Kit’s eyebrows knitted down into pained expression. “Mentor I—”

That was all Kit got out before Mentor was on him. Mentor grabbed Kit by his t-shirt and slammed him back against the wall, knocking the air from his lungs with a harsh hiss. “Mentor!”

Mentor’s fists curled in tight to Kit’s shirt, knuckles digging into Kit’s collarbone painfully. “What did you do to me! Huh! Make it stop! Make them stop!”

Mentor yanked Kit forward and shoved him back harder against the wall. Kit stared with wide eyes, frozen in shock. Mentor… he had never seen Mentor this bad before, where he didn’t even recognise him.

The screaming had alerted some nurses that came running into the room, yelling Mentor’s name.

“You ruined me!” Mentor wailed as nurses put their arms on him and tried to get him off Kit. “You ruined me! You destroyed me!”

“I—” Kit began but cut himself off, no words ready to flow from his lips in his defence.

“Mentor we need you to calm down and let go of Kit,” one of the nurses said.

Mentor shook his head, angry tears bubbling up on the side of his eyes. “You have some nerve showing up here, Omen. I would recognise you anywhere.”

“What?” Kit asked, breathless. His voice coming out so broken, choked. The nurses grabbed Mentor’s wrists and pried him off of Kit.

“Kit, you have to go. I’m sorry.”

“I—”

“Kit, I know it’s very distressing but please.”

He didn’t even look for the nurse who asked him to go. He just left in a stupor.

“Monster! Monster! You’re letting him go! I’LL FIND YOU ONE DAY, OMEN!” Mentor screamed, his voice echoing down the hall all the way to Kit’s ears. Kit flinched at the horrid sound of it, too broken and crazed and angry. “MONSTER! MONSTER! YOU’RE LETTING HIM GO!”

Kit flinched as a hand hit his shoulder. “Oh sorry, Kit.”

Kit turned to face a nurse who had a sad, pitying smile on her face. He was a little numb to it, he didn’t even smile back. “I just want to say he does that with us all,” he said kindly. “He calls us all Omen, and I know it must be shocking to hear it.”

Kit cleared the lump in his throat. “How… uh, how is he?”

“His lucid moments are getting longer, stronger, he remembers more.”

“And these moments?”

The pity in the nurse’s eyes said it all. “Longer, stronger, he’s… well, you saw him.”

Kit nodded because he didn’t trust his voice to speak. He gestured to the door, and cleared his throat and the Nurse nodded. “Yeah, I’ll let you go. Just… just don’t ruminate on it, Kit. That’s not him, that’s not the Mentor you know.”

Yeah, Kit thought, and even his thoughts sounded heartbroken to his ears. I know.

That was the real cruelty of what Ambrose did to Mentor. He took away everything that was Mentor, that made him the number one Hero, a father figure, an older brother. Omen sucked all his goodness out and replaced it with his own sick poison to try and diminish Mentor to nothing but a raving lunatic that had to be locked in a psych ward for his own safety.

When he walked out into the fresh air, Kit threw up in the nearest bin because: that could have been him. Ambrose could any day decide that he’s bored of Kit and then melt his mind like he did to Mentor, he could do it with a simple thought. Destroy him…

No, the nurse was right. Mentor isn’t gone. He isn’t destroyed, Ambrose missed that part even though it’s probably what he wanted. The lucid Mentor Kit hugged and laughed with and grew up with, that was Mentor. Ambrose didn’t destroy Mentor, and he wouldn’t destroy Kit either.

Kit ditched the idea of going back to his shitty apartment where Ambrose was no doubt waiting for him, or possibly waiting for him which was worse.

Kit’s mind went back to the rules and he smirked.

You can’t move apartment.

Ambrose never said anything about moving back home. Technically, Kit wasn’t even moving. He had some clothes back home, he could just relax there for a while. Take a load off. He wasn’t moving anywhere.

He stopped into the shop to grab some groceries before taking the metro back to his real home. Kit and Mentor’s home. It was a nice house, not too big or too small.

Kit remembers when he saw it for the first time, he thought it was huge and too much. The lawn was perfectly mowed, Mentor telling Kit that they would need to plant some flowers or something to cheer it up a little. The hedges around the wall surrounding it made it feel so warm and cosy.

Now the grass was overgrown, the flowers dead, the hedges needed a good chop. Kit frowned as he stared at the house, the stone walls with their big windows that they would throw open in the summer. It was so strange that Mentor wasn’t here with him.

If he was he would rock up beside Kit and pat his back, tell him: “it just needs a bit of work and a bit of love.”

With the drab Autumn weather, the house had an eerie glow to it, like it knew Mentor wasn’t coming home too. That suited him fine, maybe Kit and the house could find some comfort in each other.

He opened the heavy wooden door, the sound of the familiar lock clacking open took, what felt like, a tonne weight off of Kit’s shoulders. It smelled the same way it always did, he couldn’t quite put a name to it, but it smelled like home.

The first thing he needed to do was put on the heat cause fuck it was cold in here. He deposited the groceries on the kitchen island and his keys before waking to the utility room and pressing the heat on.

Please have some heat, please have some heat.

With a click and a whirr the heat came on and Kit silently thanked Mentor and his need to over-prepare for everything, because what if it gets cold in summer. LBetter to have it than want it.

Kit put the groceries away, almost robotically. He wasn’t hungry so he didn’t eat. He clicked the kettle on and grabbed his favourite mug, plopping in four teaspoons of coffee. Then switched the kettle off and left his mug on the countertop.

He turned, crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his lower back against the counter, worrying his bottom lip.

He didn’t really want to do anything.

He didn’t remember what it was like to want something.

Well… he did, he just didn’t— he had wanted to not be in pain. He wanted to not be around Ambrose, but after that? He kind of forgot what it was like to have a life of his own. What it was like to live before Ambrose had taken him and tortured him.

He—

He rolled his eyes and let out an audible, frustrated groan. He should go to bed, or, catch up on all the sports he missed. At least then when he saw Mentor again he would be able to tell him about the most recent updates instead of months old information.

Kit walked to the living room and settled down into his favourite seat on the sofa, fighting everything in him not to glance over to Mentor’s empty seat. It’s not like ignoring the seat made him feel any better, he still had that aching, gnawing in his chest that made everything feel a little wrong. A little off.

His phone buzzed in his pocket while he was flipping mindlessly through the sports channels, none of the programs catching his interest or attention at all. Did he really used to watch TV for fun? He could always look up the results or whatever, but it wasn’t really the same. He pulled out his phone, and stared down at the lock screen.

A text from Ambrose lit up the screen. Two simple words, that filled Kit with an unreasonable amount of anger. It hadn’t even been a day yet without the bastard there to torment him. He couldn’t even go a day without gloating.

Ambrose: Miss me yet? :)

Kit turned his phone off. It was dramatic, but it made him feel a little better. As if Kit was the one in control and not the other way around. Kit sighed and threw the phone onto the couch, leaving it there as he turned on off the TV and stood.

Today was just… too much of everything and anything and maybe, just maybe, if he slept tomorrow when he woke up he’d feel a little less like a zombie. A little more human. The idea pushed him towards his bedroom, ascending the stairs with heavy feet.

*~*~*~*~*

Continued here

Orphanage roll-call (lmk if you wanna be added or removed): @beatenbruisedandbloody @404lunar1216 @whumpyworld @nameless-beanie @andithewhumper r @annablogsposts @whumpasaurus101 @0eggdealer @rejectedbytheempty @sleepy-pearl @n3rv0usn0v4 @whumpatize-me-captain @sunshiline-writes @burningkittypoet @honeyed-euphrates @sacredwrath @theonewithallthefixations @acer-gaysimpstuff @m3rakii @xxgalgurlxx @princess-bubble-blossom @blood-enthusiast t @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @andtheysaidspeaknoww @dutifullykrispyland @mononeigbour

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jimmy-johns-was-taken · 8 months

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noticed ur rq's are open, so if i could may i request ben drowned, jeff the killer, and ticci toby with an s/o who's kind of like misery from ruby gloom? horrific luck, something bad is always happening to them (like getting struck by lightning in a house, something they like catching flames, really just awful luck 😭) and just kind of just a huge pessimist? this is a bit of an odd rq i just think it's silly !!!! have a nice day and drink water:3

DUDE I LOVE ODD BALL READERS! Like readers who have odd hobbies, have really bad luck, literally anything. Like don’t get me wrong I love innocent x big bad wolf, but odd ball readers are so fun

You also better be drinking your water! Thank you for requesting

T.W. : None? It’s kinda implied that the reader feels bad about themselves but that’s about it

Jeff the Killer, BEN Drowned, and “Ticci” Toby with a s/o who is like Misery from Ruby Gloom

Jeff the Killer :

Ok I mean this so nicely but he probably laughs at you at first !

When he doesn’t have feelings of course

Like you are just one unlucky killer

Victims getting away, getting picked on by the Rake, it never seems to be a good day for you

And Jeff doesn’t really realize what this does to you until he starts to talk to you

And when y’all talk, he learns that your a huge pessimist becuz of all the bad stuff that’s happened to you

Dare I say Jeff the Killer feels bad

Whenever y’all do get together, he’s roped into your bad luck

And you apologize all the time for it

He says he’s fine, but Slender’s been on his ass about stuff recently

He brings carefreeness into your life

Not necessarily positive vibes, but he’s someone to just let go around ya know?

BEN Drowned :

He thought you were super off when he first met you

Bad luck and a pessimist? We’re you just a walking bad omen??

Falling down the stairs, getting scratched up every mission, loosing all your practice matches

BEN does feel bad, especially when he learns how much of a pessimist you are

Like not only do you have a lot of bad luck, but you believe it’ll never change

He tries to help you though

Taking your mind off things, purposely letting you beat him in games, anything to help you

He notices a lot about you, and all this negative energy can’t be good

So he tries to help

“Ticci” Toby :

When they first met you and saw how badly everything went, they thought you just sucked at being a killer

Truth is, you just had bad luck

And when they figured that out?

They kinda felt like a dick, especially cuz everyone else just thinks that your not fit for this life style

Screwing up missions, cutting yourself on accident while training, lots of stuff

They go to Slender, asking if there’s anything he can do to help

Fun fact : there’s not

Toby talks to you, learns about your pessimistic ways

They agrees with some of the stuff you say, but they provide good outlooks on other things

They also explain to people who ask about your luck, telling them it’s not that your just bad, it’s just the world is against you

I feel like Toby is really nervous of you going out into the woods alone, so they always tag along

Now the big scary Rake can’t get you!

#creepypasta #creepypasta headcanon #ticci toby #ben drowned #eyeless jack #jane the killer #jeff the killer #nina the killer #creepypasta x reader #jeff the killer x reader #ben drowned x reader #ticci toby x reader #creepypasta x y/n

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sectumsempress1 · 8 months

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Good Omens Season 3: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Sectumsempress1, Hag

Or that one time I watched Good Omens, felt the claws of hyperfixation sink into my flesh for the first time in years, re-watched Good Omens more times than I care to admit and then drowned in a mind palace of analysis and delusion, resulting in this season 3 predictions bingo card coupled with unnecessarily long explanations for each square.

I'm gonna post these explanations one or two squares at a time, and honestly my first theory (probably not mine, I'm sure others have also come to this conclusion) deserves its own post because wowee I'm insane about this one.

Let's talk about why I think Crowley may have been Jophiel or Jeremiel before they fell.

I have seen endless theories about who Crowley could have been before The Fall; Lucifer, Barachiel, Raphael, Samael... and I see some evidence for all of these. However, I raise you;

Great question babygirl.

Okay me when I lie.

Yes, I took this throwaway line and went insane over it don't worry about it. Anyway. First J angel that I think could make sense is:

Jophiel "Beauty of God"

Jophiel is described in some texts as the guardian of wisdom and a teacher of languages to souls at the dawn of creation. She is also recognised as a teacher to Noah's children (specifically Shem) by C.E. Clement, Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa and Thomas Rudd.

And yes I am aware this is post-Fall Crowley and not the angel they were, but it's interesting that Shem was mentioned specifically regardless. Neil has wounded me so, I just feel that nothing is unintentional. Anyway, any iteration of Crowley as a teacher just feels right based on all we've seen of them.

(How he acts with Muriel, answering Jim's questions, showing Jesus the kingdoms of the world.)

Jophiel is also heavily associated with beauty and creativity.

Okay Mr. 'Pointedly Unusual Imagination.' Bit beautiful and creative of you.

Now here's where it gets buck wild. So Jophiel is not explicitly mentioned in the bible (in fact only Michael, Raphael and Gabriel are consistently mentioned) but scholars interpret Genesis 3:24 as referring to him.

"He drove out the man, and at the east of the garden of Eden he placed the cherubim and aflaming sword that turned every way to guard the way to the tree of life."

Yeah. It is widely agreed upon that Archangel Jophiel wielded the flaming sword and cast Adam and Eve out of Eden. Now, obviously, in Good Omens canon, Aziraphale did this. But... what if that wasn't the original plan? What if, after Jophiel and the others were cast out, the work rosters in Heaven had to be shuffled around a bit? And what if Aziraphale, having met this beautiful, curious starmaker so long ago took on their role himself?

What if Crowley and Aziraphale began the arrangement long before either of them had the words to understand what it was? All because the angel couldn't understand why he felt so drawn to the Fallen who couldn't remember.

(Edited because I've already come up with a new theory. I still stand by all of this and want it to be true so badly, but I think that Crowley does remember. I think Aziraphale is the one whose memory may have been tampered with. That doesn't change the core of the Jophiel theory, I just think that upon reflection, a personal relationship with Crowley is not what caused Aziraphale to take his old job.)

It also makes sense to then make Crowley the Serpent of Eden, if they had perhaps already planned to go to Eden anyway.

Jophiel is also widely known as Metatron's companion, which explains why he is so aggressive towards Crowley in a really cold, personal way. Yes, Metatron knows of everyone and everything so him knowing Crowley's story isn't odd in itself. But the glare...

To me, this reads as "I know you. I've known you. I know exactly what you're capable of and I will not take it. Not again. Behave." It's like a glare a parent would give their toddler for misbehaving in public. It feels pointedly personal. Almost as though they've worked together in the past in a way that ended badly for Metatron and he is on high alert to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Again here. Metatron doesn't speak about Crowley in a general 'all fallen angels suck' sense. It's personal. His choice of words, the tone, everything points to him having been personally wronged by the angel Crowley was.

Also just look at Jophiel's goddamn curly little red hair are you kidding me right now Neil Gaiman I am in your WALLS.

Also some more fun facts: Jophiel is shown as male and female presenting, leads people to a deeper understanding of the beauty of the universe, is regarded as an angel of wisdom, is known to protect those who seek truth, battles against forces of darkness and ignorance... and is strongly associated with the colour yellow.

Nice eyes babe.

Anyway, I am so delulu about this specific theory because if it is true it would show Aziraphale and Crowley's grand cosmic connection in a way that is honestly just ineffable.

But however much I long for Jophiel to be it... there is also some evidence for it being:

Jeramheel/Jeremiel "God shall have mercy"

In religious texts, Jeremiel is known as the angel who presides over true visions, often appearing in dreams and visions to bring truth. He appears to decipher Baruch's visions and give him a tour of heaven in the book '2 Baruch', and God sends him to answer the prophet Ezra's questions regarding the apocalypse in the book '2 Esdras'.

He also served as an angel of death, watching over and guiding souls to heaven and helping them learn from their earthly experiences.

This again goes back to Crowley's belief that everyone has the right to answers and being a good teacher because of that. It would make sense for them to have had this role in their angelic days as well, despite it eventually coming back to bite them.

Jeremiel is often depicted with a book or a scroll, symbolising the importance of knowledge.

Also, while Zadkiel is known as the angel of forgiveness and mercy, many people also consider Jeremiel (god shall have mercy) in this role... which would make Aziraphale's constant attempts to forgive him and his insistence that he is unforgivable even more devastating, and why I have ongoing theories about a role reversal occurring when it comes to this theme of forgiveness (more on this later).

Right. So I am obviously clutching at my delusion of it being Jophiel, but Jeremiel is a wider known angel with more canonical basis for actually being an archangel, which is why he also makes a lot of sense to me.

Thank you for joining me in this downward spiral into insanity. Look forward to part two!

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #good omens spoilers #good omens predictions #good omens season 3 #angel crowley #good omens theory

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the-eternal-maiden616 · 4 months

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Our Flag Means Death has been canceled and will not be renewed for a third/final season.

I cannot explain to you how devastated i am right now and how this is completely unfair to everyone who helped make this incredible show.

If you haven't heard yet, early today it was announced by David Jenkins that his successful show Our Flag Means Death will not be renewed for a third and final season and that this is the definite end of the series. And it was better explained by comicbook on Insta that the series was actually canceled by HBO Max.

This wasn't entirely explained in detail with why the decision was made to not make another season but David Jenkins said on Twitter that he and Taika Waititi were really going for creating the third season and that it was originally the plan for the entire series to have 3 whole seasons. Unfortunately this has changed and OFMD has at the moment officially ended as a continuing series.

I am so heartbroken at the moment and all us fans of the show are mourning as well and venting our full anger online wondering why the hell was this very successful series was canceled.

Before i joined the Good Omens community/fandom i was apart of the wonderful OFMD community and this community helped me eventually learn about GO and the similarities with these two stories. Most especially the archetypes of the blond haired boy, ie, Aziraphale and Stede falling fall the dark brooding boy, ie, Crowley and Edward.

HBO Max is absolutely ridiculous and horrible for doing this and i feel so badly for all the cast and everyone who helped work on the show. Not being able to see the proper ending to Stede, Edward and their amazing crew of 'The Revenge' is just absolutely horrible to experience.

Our Flag means death was one of the first queer shows i have ever watched on my own after coming out as Bisexual three years ago now and i cannot thank David, Taika, Rhys and everyone who was in this show for making it so fucking entertaining to watch. And especially Taika being a mixed Indigenous Māori like myself portraying himself as one of the most feared pirates of all time while also showing off a side to the infamous pirate that isn't fully known about, and even though the real life Blackbeard may of not been as queer as the show displays Taika did say the reason why the choose to make Stede and Ed a homosexual couple was infact to pissed off the homophobic historians.

Much isn't known about the true relationship between Stede Bonnet and Edward Teach when they were working together, they may or not have had a friendship or romantic relationship besides being workmates and Captains of their own ships, and i am certainly not praising the real life historical figures, because they were still bad people, i only praise this loosely based adaptation of their real life relationship.

Either way lastly i just want to say farewell to OFMD, i will keep this show near and dear to my heart, for the rest of the life, farewell Taika Waititi's Blackbeard and Rhys Darby's Stede Bonnet, you guys were beyond amazing for doing this. I will continue praising this show till the day i die and i now only have Good Omens to worry about and wait for now, so i will go and do that. BYe bye for now and Goodbye OFMD i love you very much and thank you for the memories.

#our flag means death #ofmd s2 #david jenkins #stede and edward #ed x stede #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackbonnet #taika waititi #rhys darby

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micahsrevolvers · 4 months

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Upcoming Projects - Revised 30/01

Hey, I just wanted to give some info about some of my WIPs :D

The Tragedy of Being Kieran Duffy - Joint project (with verified_teraconsiour on ao3)

This is a series of whump fics where we're just as horrible as we can possibly be to the poor man. It's... a lot. We already have one up (partially completed but still being worked on) and it's probably the very worst that's going to be in the series. Wehateitwehateitwehateitwehateitwehateitweha-

We have a master doc with plans for about 20 one-shots and longer fics, so they'll likely be steadily coming out over 2024.

Personal projects (In order of current completion)

The Catboah - Catboy Micah being found/accepted into the gang. First chapter out, yay

Speak no evil Revised title: What Makes Us Human - Just pure Micah whump. No comfort. Kind of comfort? Like traumatic comfort with a not-so-great ending.

Unnamed Micah whump - Micah gets badly injured out on a job, and realises it's not wrong to ask for help sometimes.

Rat Poison - Micah angst where he eats some herbs that he shouldn't have and has a little chat with a very unwelcome ghost from his past. (Was going to be a Christmas/scrooge type fic but not now)

Unnamed Morbell modern AU - This is currently just a domestic argument I wrote out one night when I couldn't sleep, but I'm turning it into a fic

Unnamed Good Omens Morbell AU - Get out of my head Angel!Micah. (I have SOLID reasons why he wouldn't be the demon and I will happily explain to anyone who will listen)

Unnamed OC project - A shamelessly self-indulgent fic where my Pinkerton OC is assigned to Micah's case, and they eventually begin to meet to exchange more than just info about the gang

Hope this gives y'all an idea of what's going on, I plan to be a lot more active this year!

#rdr2 #ao3 fanfic #plans #micah bell #morbell #my ocs #writing #catboy micah

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eviebane · 4 months

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I love how Crowley saw this angel on the wall & slithers up and is like ssssssss and the angel goes Wot? and Crowley repeats, Well that was a shit show wasn't it? and the angel goes Oh, yeah, it was and Crowley goes God's being a bit of a bitch about an apple, eh. Anyway s'not like the whole good/evil thing even matters and the angel goes Stfu it was your idea in the first place and Crowley goes Ehhh my boss just said to come up here and fuck shit up & God seemed tetchy 'bout the apples and they talk about God and the Great Plan and Crowley goes Hang on, you had a great big bleedin sword earlier to defend Eden, where is it? and the angel goes Uhh yeah well I gave it to the humans God just kicked out and Crowley instantly falls in love ?? and this whole time this angel is like Bsjxbsbsudpuxeb I've had a crush on you since before Creation and now you're a bad boy demon and I like it even more??

And then God rocks up and goes Where's ya sword, Eastern boy? and Aziraphale deadass LIES TO GOD and God just fucking NOPES out halfway through his bullshit speech about losing it, and 6,000 years later She's watching them go on dates, and She fucking ships it

#badly explained good omens #good omens

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 4 months

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I've been reading through your descent into Good Omens and I am CACKLING

Welcome to the fandom and I'm sorry but there is no exit

thank you i have realised that but it will NOT STOP ME FROM MAKING AN ESCAPE ATTEMPT INTO DOCTOR WHO wait that's probably worse

#good omens #good omens mascot #good omens fandom #lgbtqia #neil gaiman #good omens prophet #doctor who #doctor who fandom #everything is badly explained #biggest dumbass on tumblr #me guys that's me #but i've been assured that you love me

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killmebythebeach · 2 years

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Wait imagine all the afterlife Origins as like folklore for each empire

There's a holiday in Mythland where good kids who sprinkle red wool by their door get visited by an angel. If bad children do the same thing, a horrible wither visits and brings bad omens.

Before Scott and Xornoth (way way way before) followers of Aeor also believed in his angel judge, punishing heretics and whoever remained of Exor. If you pay enough attention, you can still find him in stained windows or in the books. He has, however, been left out of the modern mythos.

Parents in the Crystal Cliffs will tell the story of a girl who wasnt interested in magic to scare their kids into paying attention at school. Legend has it she fell off a cliff and got badly injured (easily avoidable if she knew magic) and repaired herself, coming back all wrong. She was outlasted, as none of her friends recognized her.

Similarly, parents of the Grimlands tell the story of a boy who cared more for magic than he did for engineering or for alchemy. Running away to the crystal cliffs he was killed on the way by a robot (easily avoidable if he knew how it was programmed/how to disassemble it). The scuffed magic inside of him manifested and turned him into a dragon, hunted down and killed a final time.

It is rumored all clones in Mezalia are modeled after giants, kind beasts who died and turned into the mountains they now live on. A particularly curious and clever giant used the power of the mother tree to make clay figures and bring them to life.

Some people, more lost than others, have wandered the jungles of the Lost Empire and found a pink tree. There they find a small child like being, offering eternal youth. Explorers are still trying to find it, going off only "eye witnesses" from hundreds of years ago.

There are mixed stories about Shadow Girl. Some say she is a protector, protecting lost knomes out at night. Others says she's a devil, snuffing out their torches for monsters to spawn. But no matter what their parents tell, little kids of the Undergrove like to leave out candies for Shadow Girl, thinking it must be lonely for her too to be out alone at night.

Before Katherine, there was another caretaker of the Overgrown. At the height of her power, she was able to make plants grow without and supplies, and lived off the sun like the plants she cared for.

The Ocean Empire is vast, so there's a lot of stories to tell. Those who like the surface of the water look up at the stars, explaining that when they moved, it was an alien trying to get home. The ones who live in the rivers of the forest blame all their items going missing on the Racoon lady, collecting whatever she can get her hands on. The ones who live down, in the deepest darkest parts of the ocean explain the paranoia as... well, there's no direct translation for it. A creature that stuns just by staring, a creeping feeling behind you is to blame on this creature.

The Cod Empire got rid of all its witches centuries ago, but some say the magic still lingers. Out in the caves, a small human like creature of pure magic, made by witches, watches all and plays tricks on miners. Knowing what the citizens have done to its creator, it will hurt people if they get too close. Many miners tell this tale to their kids: don't be greedy and mine for too long, or else the thornling will prick your grabbed fingers.

Anyway, catch me thinking about this for hours. People reminding Fwhip of the dragon boy as he gets into alchemy. Lizzie never swimming too far down. Holidays for the mother tree and giant. Random passages in the elven library Scott vaguely remembers about a servant of Aeor like him. Shrub leaving snacks everywhere for Shadow Girl like how she used to in her old village.

Just things.

#empires smp #alsmp #mythicalsausage #scott smajor #geminitay #fwhip #joel smallishbeans #joey graceffa #shubble #shrub berry #katherine elizabeth gaming #ldshadowlady #solidarity gaming

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just-1other-nerd · 11 months

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Good Omens live blog ep. 2

Crowley became a demon by accident? That actually explains a lot and is so in character

The narration is so clever

I love Agnes the witch

Why is Newton kinda cursed? I mean he isn't responsible for what his ancestor did

He is so pathetic that he has to scare plants, I'm dying

"You wouldn't like it" once again husband vibes

Brian: "It pretends I'm not there." *faceplants into the ice cream*

I want to have that plaid coat Anathema wears so badly

Cleaning your husbands coat without him even asking? Oh come on! They are so gay I love it

Well, that paintball game escalated quickly

Crowley has like the gayest walk ever

Oh my goodness, their faces are so close, like just kiss already, I know you want it!

Even more Queen in the soundtrack!

When he called Aziraphale "Angel" in front of Anathema, it must have looked like a pet name and you know what maybe it was

The way Crowley is still pissed because Aziraphale insulted Velvet Underground

The literal demon asked if the literal Angel is "alright", they're so in love

See you when I do the third episode

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #crowley x aziraphale #ineffable husbands #anathema #anathema device #newton pulsifer #newt pulsifer #good omens live blog

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charlotteharlatan · 9 months

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I need everyone searching for Good Omens 2 easter eggs to know about this film right here:

A framed poster for this movie, A Matter of Life And Death (alternatively titled “Stairway to Heaven”) (1946) can be seen inside Maggie’s record shop.

For those interested in the possible parallels with GO, I’ll summarize the plot of the film here, so don’t read the below if you’d rather watch it on your own! I recommend it, it’s a fantastic watch.

The film follows Peter Carter, who is an RAF bomber pilot - a Squadron Leader - during WWII.

After a bombing mission, his plane badly damaged and actively on fire even as he flies it, Peter makes contact with June, a radio operator stationed at a US Air Force base on England’s coast. He tells her he’d ordered his crew to bail out with their parachutes, never revealing to them that his own parachute is unusable and he cannot escape.

As he tries to keep his plane in the air, he and June have their first (and what they both expect to be their last) conversation. He waxes poetic, telling June she’s the kind of girl he could love, and June cries for him, knowing there’s nothing she can do other than hear his last words and pass along his messages to his family.

As it becomes clear he’s out of time, Peter decides to bail out of his aircraft without a parachute rather than go down with the burning wreckage. He tells June goodbye and jumps, fully expecting to die.

It is at this point that he’s meant to be intercepted and guided to the afterlife (the “Other World”) by Conductor 71, formerly an aristocrat who died in the French Revolution. However, Peter falls into a thick fog that has come over the English Channel, and Conductor 71 cannot find him in it. Peter quickly turns up missing from the Other World’s balance sheet.

When he wakes up on a beach, Peter initially believes he’s in the afterlife, but he quickly realizes he’s still alive as he wanders around.

In a serendipitous turn, he runs into someone familiar - June, the radio operator. The beach he woke up on is apparently near the base where she works. They recognize each other instantly based on the sound of each other’s voices, and share a kiss.

When Conductor 71 finally tracks Peter down nearly 20 hours later, Peter and June are on a date. The Conductor stops time in order to explain the situation to Peter.

He was supposed to die in that plane crash, and presumably there is some grand cosmic balance, some plan, that Peter is throwing off with his continued existence. By remaining alive, Peter is breaking celestial law. The guide urges Peter to accept his death and accompany him to the afterlife.

Peter refuses. He has something to live for now. Someone to stay on Earth for. He demands an appeal, which Conductor 71 reluctantly grants after consulting his superiors. He tells Peter his appeal will go to trial, and that he has three days to prepare his defense; he may pick someone - any human who has died before him - to be his defense counsel. Peter struggles with choosing someone to do this.

But in the meantime, June has begun to worry about the “visions” he’s been having (the conversations with Conductor 71, who no one except Peter can see) and has her friend Dr. Reeves examine him.

Dr. Reeves suspects that the visions are the result of complications from a concussion Peter suffered two years prior, and tells him he must receive brain surgery to fix it; it quickly becomes clear how necessary the surgery is as Peter’s condition worsens, becoming increasingly delirious and disoriented.

A major storm begins, and the ambulance that’s coming to bring Peter in for surgery seems to be lost. Dr. Reeves goes out looking for it on his motorcycle, but soon disaster strikes: the doctor almost collides with the ambulance due to low visibility. He steers off the road to avoid hitting it, and dies in the ensuing crash.

When he finds out what happened, Peter chooses Reeves to be his defense counsel; now dead, the doctor can do so.

On Earth, Peter’s surgery begins, and in an amphitheater in the center of a spiral galaxy, so does Peter’s trial. Reeves argues that it is not Peter’s fault that he cheated death, but because he did, he now has an unintended earthly commitment. He has fallen in love. Reeves insists on these grounds that Peter should be allowed to remain on Earth with June. To see if the love between June and Peter is genuine, the tribunal decides they should hear directly from the couple.

Back on Earth, Conductor 71 has made June go to sleep so that she can testify. Once the trial has changed location to the operating room where Peter is still undergoing surgery, Reeves tells June that the only way to save Peter from this fate is for her to climb the Stairway to Heaven and take his place on the balance sheet. Peter tries desperately to stop her, proving he’s willing to die for her. After he is restrained, so that she can make her own decision, June gives him a tearful goodbye and steps onto the staircase with zero hesitation.

The stairway, moving like an escalator, begins to take her away to the afterlife, but then suddenly grinds to a halt. With this reprieve, she runs back to Peter and embraces him.

Reeves, triumphant, says, “nothing is stronger than the law in the universe. But on Earth, nothing is stronger than love.”

The tribunal’s jury rules in Peter’s favor, and Peter is granted a “generous” lifespan. The trial ends, and back on Earth, the surgery is declared a success.

“We won,” Peter tells June when he wakes up from his surgery.

“I know,” she answers. Film ends.

…..

I mean…come ON. This show, I swear. I continue to be so normal about it.

#good omens #good omens 2 #easter egg #cinematic parallels #👀#ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale

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