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#baby gays read a fucking book challenge
raraeavesmoriendi · 2 years
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*ralph wiggum voice* ‘queer people of different genders can’t be in a queer relationship bc ablpblpblpblp’
so -
a. how is this not the cis people thing of reducing people to their genitals again. like, you get genitals that don’t match and suddenly how people understand their own interior life and desires is thrown out the window? is that how this works? are we really gonna be stopping couples that show up to a Queer space while not performing gender the same way and go “hey excuse me can you list off your respective relationship histories so we know you aren’t just hets that have gotten cozy in our midst?” who is that for? no, really, who is that for??? If I’m dating a woman as a non-binary person, do I have to recite Halberstam bc we don’t match gender-wise? Or bc it *looks* like one of us needs a strap to have “traditional” penetrative sex, we’re in the clear. In which case, again, stop trying to figure out what’s in people’s pants, buddy, that’s rude.
b. does this mean Queerness is conditional? does this mean we’re back to box-ticking performances based on seeing Str8ies as Default? “You must be this Queer to ride” well shit. well fuck. who’s gonna tell all the single gays that just like one flavor? how do they tick the box? do we have Gay-approved sex toys they can walk in with to show they’re definitely gay without a relationship? are we printing ID cards or something? does this mean I’m on a probationary period every time I date someone who isn’t my specific shade of genderqueer? fuck’s sake, I don’t have time for all that paperwork. god knows how many Queer Validity hearings I’ve missed by now. fuck me, the census is gonna be a nightmare this year. Does everyone have to stand in front of the Queerness Measuring Tape, or just the people who don’t pass narrow ideas of what Queerness looks like? When did we vote on that? Who wrote this fucking manual anyways?? How do we amend this shit, bc this sounds like someone didn’t read past Queer Theory 101, and we’ve got more to think about here.
c. do people not hear how gender binary-reinforcing this sounds?? “well they don’t LOOK like they’re Queer—“ buddy, I don’t bind bc I get overheated easily where I live and I can’t decide if I can even afford to get my tits removed yet. Not that it’s anyone’s business, but I don’t want bottom surgery. If I tell you I don’t identify as a woman or with the experience of womanhood, are you going to accept how I’m describing my own experience and perception as accurate? Or are you gonna ‘Or/But’ me into the ground until I perform an absence of gender that meets whatever your arbitrary-ass (pretty cis-sounding ngl) standards are? Why are we then saying that if a couple doesn’t “perform”/conform to your narrow-ass caricatured expectations of Queerness that say it can only look like people with matching AGABs, then clearly that overrides everything else about these people’s understanding of themselves? The the way they define their own experiences and their attraction to various genders is suddenly rendered Str8? Is it bc one of them maybe has a penis and the other one doesn’t? Is that why they’re not Queer?? Man, first of all that’s not how dicks work, and second of all, you have got to stop trying to x-ray people’s pants, what did I just say—
d. I am holding your face very gently in my hands. Some of us are more than one thing. Some of us are not cis and like more than one kind of person. It’s not as simple as “Do our genders match? Okay great, we’re gay!!” Some of us have to navigate a few more variables, okay? Trying to police Queerness based on a “same-ASAB only” definition is not only constricting for all the people who have other things going on, it’s reductive to the idea of Queerness as a whole. There’s so many different ways it can look. It’s beautiful, buddy, you just gotta trust me on that. Trying to keep people out of the community bc they don’t match your black and white definition of “You Are or You Aren’t” doesn’t benefit anyone. It genuinely does not. We’re either building a home for all of us, or we’re just doing to other people what the Str8ies did to us the first time. Read a book, hell, read two. And if someone doesn’t match whatever your internal horse-blinders expectations of External Gayness, remember, it doesn’t affect you and it’s not your fucking business, okay? just drink your little mineral water and live your life, you’re gonna be fine, I swear 🖤
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eta, nov. 5 - the people who can’t read found this post so I’m taking it away and putting it up on the closet shelf until they learn to leave queer people be. Taps sign, etc.
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bengiyo · 5 months
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Last Twilight Ep 5 Stray Thoughts
Last week, Mhok took Day’s teasing that he has no tenderness in him as a personal challenge, and spent the entire episode flirting with Day through all of Day’s other senses.  Meanwhile, we ran into Gee, who was a friend Day had through badminton. Day managed to reconnect with her and hang out with some of his team members (but not August). Meanwhile, Porjai broke up with that cheating fiancé of hers, but not before he and Mhok got into another fight. We also learned that Porjai is pregnant, and is going to be staying with Mhok for now. Everyone kept saying how hot Mhok is, and after flirting with Day constantly, Day decided to sneak next to Mhok at night and look at his face.
It’s early and Mhok is already starting.
Oh ho! We’re playing around with honorifics again.
This breakfast scene is great. Day got himself up, made his own jellied bread, and didn’t balk at posting a picture to Facebook about it. It’s a good sign that he’s moving back into interactions with others.
Wait, why are we back to reading the book? I thought we were heading to the badminton match?
Oh, whew, it was a flashback providing some emotional context before we meet more people.
Okay, Day teaching Mhok how to comment on badminton is fun. He’s not an amateur, and Mhok doesn’t know the rules.
Film looks good.
I am a fan of sports. I was moved by Gee’s win and cried a little bit.
I love Mhok beginning to integrate into the banter with Gee.
Our first interaction with August and Day flees.
I’m loving this backstory. I am such a fan of sports drama.
Aof and his double entendres. “If you want to pick it up again, handle it with care.” I will fight him.
Thank you, Pride flag in the locker room, for letting us know there are gay stakes between Day and August.
Ohm Thipakorn is whipping extreme ass here with these eyes. You are upgraded from “Baby Ohm,” sir.
I am crying again because of the bonds between men. Even Mhok approves of August moving to singles rather than compete with someone else.
So, how mutual are the feelings between Day and August, and how much does the other know, because August took his hand in such a meaningful way before asking him out to dinner.
I’m with Mhok; I like him pushing Day to hang out with August.
Oh yes. It’s time for a practice date. We’ve gotten a few of these this year, and it hits every time.
Porjai ain’t shit, and she’s not gonna let Mhok go without getting a dig in.
I love how Mhok responds to all of Day’s teasing by going hard on the flirting.
This whole cake scene was cute as hell.
Oho, we’re getting back to the Night and Day stuff. Day thinks Mhok has also been fooled by Night.
Oh no. Please don’t spill water on yourself immediately and panic, Day.
It’s always 4:20 somewhere, amirite? (I don’t smoke)
Now where the fuck is August?
I’m glad Mhok stuck around to salvage this outing.
They went back to see if August ever arrived? I’m mad at August.
I AM LEANING IN. Day hadn’t confessed his crush on August, and today felt his heart break at some sort of final piece of reality he had to face.
August picked the most dramatic time to show up, and then just walked away after sensing something between Mhok and Day.
There’s so much going on! Mhok was about to admit his own feelings, but stopped because of August.
This was an excellent episode. I’m so proud of Ohm for being able to do more than just be adorable. We’ve got a great form of romantic angst here where the board isn’t completely set, but we know the players. These two definitely practiced a lot for this role. Jimmy has found his smolder.
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wen-kexing-apologist · 10 months
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Bengiyo's Queer Cinema Syllabus
A few months back I was chatting with @bengiyo when the subject of queer cinema came up (unsurprising considering…ya know, the whole being BL buddies thing). As a semi-recent queerness realizer, and a Certified Baby Gay(™), Ben took it upon himself to share a post between himself and @shortpplfedup that inspired @the-conversation-pod and which also included a Completely Hypothetical Queer Cinema Syllabus Build Up to BL for Baby Gays. According to @bengiyo this started as a thought experiment. 
But, unfortunately or…fortunately? for him, I constantly crave queer media, and @waitmyturtles and her Old GMMTV Challenge have inspired me to try my hand at working my way through this syllabus. I cannot guarantee that I will finish all these films. I have no idea how long it would even take, but I wanted to at least try! 
I have been saying I would do this for months now, but I am inundated with BL content, and getting more every day, so I have been pushing it to the side. BUT! This evening a local movie theater played The Birdcage (1996) and I went and bought tickets and decided now was as good a time as any to get this started, I am hoping to take a page out of Turtle’s book and write notes/thoughts on the movies I end up watching. Forgive me the long winded introduction, but I figured some context would be nice if this ends up being a thing I stick with. So without further ado…
The Birdcage (1996) [Comedy]
Syllabus Unit 6: Gems
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Summary: A gay cabaret owner and his drag queen companion agree to put up a false straight front so that their son can introduce them to his fiancée's right-wing moralistic parents. 
Characters:  Armand: Gay cabaret owner, played by Robin Williams  Arnold: Drag queen partner, played by Nathan Lane Val: Armand’s son, played by Dan Futterman Agador: Armand and Arnold's maid? friend? live in slutty pool boy? played by Hank Azaria Katharine: Val's biological mother, played by Christine Baranski
Overall Reflection
This is a film I had never seen before. Hell, I didn’t even know it existed until around the time Ben shared his syllabus, and someone reblogged a scene from it that ended up on my dashboard. This was an interesting film to experience in theaters, because while watching with an audience made the funny bits funnier, there were also moments that I absolutely did not read as funny that other people did, and I didn’t know how I felt about that. 
This film is set primarily in South Beach, Florida and partly in a drag club, which meant that the only thing I could think about whenever the drag club was on screen was Palace, the gay bar, drag brunch, queer club spot in Miami. On the other funny casual note, as a Floridian I feel seen by the moment where Katharine calls and says she’s going to be late, and it zooms out to show she is stuck at the bridge. Real. 
I feel like the majority of gay media I have consumed in my life very much centers around two very masculine characters. So it was really nice to watch a story that involved more femme characters, and that the femme characters were not left as the butt of the joke. Which I recognize might be ironic considering this is a comedy and therefore there are jokes abound. But, when you compare the femme character in something like Legally Blonde, to the femme characters here, they are allowed to be dramatic, and they are allowed to trip and fall, but the love that Armand has for Arnold is palpable, they squabble and they get annoyed at each other, and they hurt each other, but they are partners, and they love each other too, and it shows throughout the film. 
This sounds fucked up, I guess, but I love the undercurrent of pain that is threaded throughout the story. The way that Val starts off seeming like he is very content with the way he grew up, the parents that he had. The way that Val feels so so loved by his Dads, and he hurts them anyway. Because he is scared, because he loves Barbara and he knows that she is good, and that her parents aren’t, and that he has to hide his family. But in making them hide who they are, he is hurting them and at first you can see and feel the ways that Armand is trying to rebel against it. You can tell that initially he is angry, disappointed, upset, incredulous:
“Yes, I wear foundation. Yes, I live with a man. Yes, I'm a middle- aged fag. But I know who I am, Val. It took me twenty years to get here, and I'm not gonna let some idiot senator destroy that. Fuck the senator, I don't give a damn what he thinks.”
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gifs by @hellboys
It is one of my favorite lines in the film. Because Val needs to be called out on exactly what he is asking his father to do for him. Because Armand's pain is visceral in this moment. But Armand loves his son and so eventually he relents. 
Arnold’s presence and importance in Val’s life are constantly disregarded and he is allowed to be upset, and Armand is allowed to constantly put his son’s engagement and wedding in jeopardy to prioritize his partner and his partner’s feelings, because Arnold is a part of this family, and to hide him away is unfair. 
I certainly had to grapple with some complicated emotions around the character of Val. I could understand where he was coming from, that he loves his fiancee and that their families have to meet, and that it is almost certainly physically safer for everyone if his parents are not visibly and obviously queer around the ultra conservative moralist senator. But the ways he ends up exhibiting casual disdain, anxiety, and judgment around the aspects of his parents’ home, his parents’ friends, his parents’ themselves makes me kinda hate him a little bit. It is hard for me not to see Val as entitled, not to consider him low-key dickish, because of how frequently he seems to get annoyed and disappointed that Armand and Arnold are not acting straight enough, that their house isn’t straight enough, that their family isn’t straight enough. But the film does not shy away from the mental toll it takes. 
Were there aspects of the film itself I didn’t like? Honestly, not really. There are some jokes and terminology that do not fully stand the test of time, so if I watch it with a modern lens I think I would give it a 9.5. If I watch it in the context of the time it was written, I would probably give it a 9.8. But watching it in theaters certainly altered the way I engaged in certain scenes. 
Mostly with the “I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking dressed like this, I’m even more obvious” scene. 
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gif by @rosalie-starfall
Because people in the theater were laughing during this moment. Which is not to say I am judging them, I’m not mad at them for finding the moments leading up to that scene funny. I can understand how Arnold constantly having to catch himself and change his body language could come off as funny. But there is a weight to that scene for me that made the laughter feel incongruous. It is, in my opinion, an incredibly impactful scene. And it was hard for me to fully embrace that moment the way I know I would have if I was alone, after I realized that not everyone reads that scene as a serious one. 
(Side Note: When I was looking for pictures of the movie poster, I found three different versions of it, and I chose the one above because it was the most intriguing to me in the way it presents Arnold. Because it is the only one of the posters that puts Arnold in a suit.)
The other moment, that I think I would have had a stronger response to if I was alone, was the moment near the end where Val takes off Arnold’s wig and introduces Arnold as his mother.
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gif by @nicholasbritel
If I had watched this scene alone, I think there is a very high likelihood I would have gotten teary eyed during that moment. Because Val has spent so much time throughout this film trying to hide Arnold away. Wanting to send him off for the evening so they didn’t have to worry, trying to replace him with his biological mother, who he had never really met just for the sake of maintaining appearances. 
Arnold LOVES Val. It is glaringly obvious from the first moment they share a screen that to Arnold, that is his kid. And I cannot imagine what it must have felt like for Arnold to literally have his every move critiqued and criticized for acceptable levels of gayness by his son and his partner. To feel unwanted by his son and his partner. To feel replaced by his son and his partner. He deserves to see and hear his son choose him, to know that Val considers Arnold his parent. Especially when Val’s biological mother is standing right there. 
And as for the comedy aspect of this movie? I mean, it’s Robin WIlliams and Nathan Lane so it is obviously going to be a truly hilarious film all the way through.
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Where does it fall in my By, For, About Queers Categorization? 
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For and About 
Any piece of media that places queer characters at the center of it is something I would categorize as “About Queers” 
As far as I can tell, the writers and director are not queer. I consider films to be made By Queers when a queer person has a role in controlling how the story unfolds, usually this means a writer or director for me, actors too if they have any influence  over changing the story. (As an example, The Last of Us Episode 3 would be something that I would place in a By Queers category because Murray Bartlet who played Frank is gay and also was consulted to shape the way the characters were written and the story played out.) While Nathan Lane is gay, and I am sure a number of actors who play side characters are as well, I do not know how much influence they had over the film itself. Which is why I am currently excluding it from the By Queers categorization. 
And as for the For Queers aspect? That moment where Arnold appears in a suit and tie before the dinner party, where he appears so much more obviously gay when he’s in “masculine clothes” that is written for the people who understand. The undercurrent of pain I mentioned, that exists to be recognized by the people who understand. Also, I watched this at the movie theater and I saw what kind of crowd it drew lmfao. 
Favorite moment in the film? 
Well, I could go sappy with it and pick one of the scenes I referenced above, but I would be lying. My absolute, hands down, no contest favorite moment in this film was seeing Agador in this cropped tank top: 
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Now, I know that Ben told me that the Units could be done in any order, but I think I want to start from Unit 1 and work my way through from there, so stay tuned for a write-up about Pariah (2011) from Unit 1: Coming of Age Post Moonlight.
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cebwrites · 2 years
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OK! it's the "jump the gun" anon and I'm glad to hear I'm not spoiling anything with this! for the thought my brain won't let go of!
Mihawk and his husband (reader) hear about this mini Hawk look alike and investigate. That then leads to them finding the kid, taking him in, and then subsequently adopting said kid! how do you think Mihawks gonna react to this little winged clone and then to his spouse declaring "this is our child now and no one, not even the world government, can have him!"
cause seriously that kid is adorable and younger Mihawk was adorable and I wanna squish his little cheeks (and demanded Mihawk show baby photos of his scowling tiny self to fawn over!)
"mihawk and his husband 🥺💕" anon i'm kissing u on the lips this is adorable YES i am here for the gay goth dad content <33
spoilers for chapter 1059 under the cut masc reader word count: 0.4k
adopting his seraphim son w/ the reader (Mihawk)
Frankly, he isn't surprised - Mihawk's had a directionally challenged moss ball and a bubblegum goth dropped into his lap without reason already, so what's one more?
He is, however, a little amused at your enthusiasm about it all; he thinks it's cute
No matter - whatever the love of his life wants, he gets
Domesticity and attempts at parenting are a little rough on the high seas now in comparison to the comfort of his castle that the navy so rudely lay siege to but he’ll manage
First orders of business - working whatever murderous tendencies that Vegapunk had built into this little Mini-hawk; wielding unfathomable amounts of strength was all well and good but if it was left to the hands of a temperamental child that wouldn’t do anyone well
Fathering comes like a second nature to him, especially after having Zoro and Perona invade his space for two years, and he’s got the reflexes to prove it, too - they may not be able to childproof much on a boat but there’s still plenty of ways for a kid-shaped weapon of mass destruction could fuck up
Mihawk isn’t the spoiling type, if anything discipline is very high on his list of priorities, but if there’s anything he doesn’t spare any expense to, it’s your and the Mini-hawk’s food, which he handles personally unless you want a turn at cooking for the night
He’s quiet by nature, so is Mini-hawk by proxy, but where the kid doesn’t communicate verbally he’ll make up for in gestures like pointing to things, holding books up to read before bed-time, and tugging at your or Mihawk’s pantleg when he wants something
Some days you’ll find Mihawk sleeping upright again in some grand chair, but upon closer inspection, you find the baby bird curled up against his side with Hawkeye’s arm around him and you have to stifle the squeal that threatens to leave your throat
Mihawk notices your presence, careful not to wake the kid up but he does beckon you over, to lean down so he may kiss his husband, mumbling quiet compliments and ‘I love you’s while you’re in close proximity
Mini-hawk of course stirs because he’s a light sleeper just like his father (the avian one), but you plant a kiss and shush him back to slumber before the kid can fully awaken and be cranky about it
You may not have the luxury of Kuraigana’s vast castle with it’s sprawling walls gothic architecture, and Mihawk’s personal garden anymore, but it was just you, Mihawk, your little baby bird - you could rebuild from there, wherever the sea took the three of you - and that was enough
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symphonic-scream · 2 years
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Okay wholesome post time
So. This all started with like a little joking idea
"haha since Makoto is the group mom of the Phantom Thieves the others would joke about her kid being their sibling"
And we all know I'm Weak and Gay.
Oh hell yes I wasn't sure that was gonna work I've never done that before fuck yeah
Ahem. Anyways-
That got me thinking. Hey. That's funny. Hehe. And then I thought some more. Gay thoughts. Wholesome, gay thoughts.
And yeah. I think Makoto and Haru would be the most caring, loving parents ever. This is after days of spamming my dear friend with messages about how Haru would totally use the most sugary sweet pet names to fluster poor Makoto, who would totally read books over Haru's shoulder as they cuddled
(this of course all steming from a small idea of "hey what if Haru moved in with Makoto and Sae after losing her dad")
Anyways. I made them mom's.
At first it was this general "ah yes their kid" and then my good friend (@justanotherpersonsuniverse ) was like "if they have a daughter they'd call her their princess cause Queen" and I joked back "haha a son would be a little prince"
And then.
"...okay but what about both-"
And now I'm digging through hours of the fuckin sweetest hcs I've ever come up with trying to put together a post that makes any sense
Okay I forgot a piece of context Sae is boning down with Takemi. Maybe they're dating. Who knows. Not me that's for sure
Fuck uh lemme try to actually make this post ugh
So. I hate the idea of Cop Makoto bleh. So she's a defense lawyer of some kind. Known for taking underdog cases and such or whatever. Haru totally opens up her cafe though, and they live above it in a home that's theirs and warm and GAY ITS SO GAY and when they move in they set up their room, a guest room, and there's a spare room even after Makoto's little study-
And when asked about it, Haru just
"well, we should leave it for now. In case we want to have a little family of our own!"
And boy do they
(they get married first. Haru totally proposes and it spurs Makoto to immediately enter this frenzy that doesn't end until she's used every connection she has to get them legally married)
And later, when everything's settled down, they talk. About their families, parents, fears, hopes- and it all comes to a boil. They believe they can do it together. Be better. Break the cycle. Give their kid a good life.
Eventually, when Haru finds out she's carrying, she tells her big dumbass wife in the softest way possible
("Haru, Dearest, dinner's ready!"
"oh, Love, thank you so much!! Ah, do you mind serving me a little extra?"
"feeling hungry today?"
"hm, not really, but I have to eat for two now, silly"
"haha yeah-"
"..."
"what")
They launch into a frenzy. Haru starts up plans for a nursery in their spare room, and Makoto takes time to have a little chat with their kid each night, incorporating vitamins into her wife's meals, getting special lotions and creams
It's at one of their appointments with Takemi that the other shoe drops
"oh hey, congrats you two. Check it out, second heartbeat."
"t-two?"
That's right fuckers I gave them fucking TWINS
One little prince, one little princess
Yusuke is asked to come paint a mural in the nursery, and the other thieves get so excited for "their new siblings"
And, because I couldn't resist,
They go to have a little chat with an old friend.
("hey Boss. So, neither of us have any parents left, so our kids- they don't have grandparents. And, well, we thought we'd offer the position to you."
*gross Sojiro crying noises*)
Makoto starts doing bottle warming and diaper changing drills. She challenges the other thieves to races. She must be the best mother. Haru thinks it's cute, but draws the line when she notices her wife working herself to the bone. For fucks sake their babies aren't even born yet and Makoto's pushing her limits,
Ah, that's her dumbass though
The day comes eventually. It's a long labour, but eventually a nurse is holding out their first born to a jittery Makoto; "would you like to hold your son?"
So she softly takes the little bundle, stares down at her son- HER SON -with wide, awed eyes, and gently sits at an exhausted Haru's side to show her his little face
"Baby,, look- it's him,,, our son,"
"he's perfect, Mako-chan,,,"
And they're so caught up in their son, that they're jolted when another nurse glides over with another bundle; "are you ready to meet your daughter?"
And man if Makoto wasn't crying before, she sure is now. Everything feels so perfect, she's there with her wife, their son, their daughter; their own little family,,,, but something's missing, still...
Once she's made sure both twins are secure with their Mama, Makoto goes out to greet the crowd waiting in the waiting room
(Makoto: okay ground rules before you guys get to see Haru and the new babies. One, Morgana is not allowed to touch the babies
Morgana: WHAT
Makoto: you're a cat. Germs. Second, hand sanitizer. Everytime you go to touch any of them, apply three squirts. Soak your hands.
Futaba: yes mom
Makoto: 3. No flash photography. You can take three photos each, but no flash. Keep cameras and phones at least four feet from the babies
Ann: you gotcha momkoto!
Makoto: now, ready to meet them?)
It's very soft in that hospital room. The twins are gently passed around, meeting each "sibling". Ryuji breaks into silent tears, holding them like he's never held something more precious. Yusuke just has a look of awe, and mutters about understanding how his mother found such inspiration from him. Joker jokingly calls them the "littlest thieves of hearts" for already stealing all of theirs
Ann can't stop going on about how precious they are and how she's gonna spoil them absolutely rotten and "I need a photo for Shiho SOMEONE GET A PHOTO OF ME WITH THIS BABY MY WIFE NEEDS TO SEE THIS". Futaba, with Morgana on her shoulder, is hesitant to even hold them, instead hovering her fingers over them while Joker holds them. Sumire has this look of complete wonder on her face, even if at times her smile is a little bittersweet. She makes sure to tell both parents how special a pair of twins are
All the thieves agree to help out the new mother's as they adjust to parenthood, especially with twins right off the bat. A rotation comes through every few nights to give them (ahem. Makoto.) A chance to rest. Momkoto herself has three months away from her law office, spending time with her family and running Haru's cafe while she recovers from birth
Their little princess looks almost exactly like Haru, all curly hair and soft eyes. Their prince looks much the same, though his eyes end up a very clear red. Haru was so delighted when she saw them. "MAKO-CHAN HE HAS YOUR EYES"
Futaba buys them little gamer onesies while Sumire brings the twins little toys from the places she travels to for gymnastics
(origin of this screenshot)
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Ann swoops in with Shiho to spoil her siblings rotten, with plenty of stylish clothes and fancy European treats. Even once she's got a kid of her own she still spoils the twins. "Uh, duh, I do it because im a great big sister!"
I have so many more thoughts but I'm gonna cut myself off here this is too long already jeez
Anyways. I can't stop talking about this. Talk to me about this.
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ma-lark-ey · 1 year
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I feel like challenging GOD so in my first ever read of Harry Potter I will be listing all of my headcanons in one big master post and sending it into the void space of tumblr thank you goodbye. I have no concept over which of these are hottakes, which of these are widely accepted, and which of them are just me being batshit crazy because as I write this I have never once looked at the Harry Potter fandom proper and my only knowledge of it is My Immortal and the fact that TikTok thinks Harry's dad and Sirius' little brother should makeout. 1. Ron Weasley is autistic.
2. Neville Longbottom is half-Korean on his mother's side, and also probably wears goofy little frog overalls.
3. Ron is tall, Harry is Short
4. Harry's scar is smattered across his face like a lightning storm and not just one little bolt, that's pussy shit. Make that shit dramatic
5. Ron and Luna probably had a fling at one point. Autism for autism
6. No way this isn't fanon, but Luna Lovegood is autistic.
7. Ginny Weasley is the HOTTEST bitch in Hogwarts and she is AWARE.
8. In Goblet of Fire the entire little Ron and Harry arc happening there was that they had a summer fling and then broke up when Ron had his little pissboy arc and they were both babies about it and then went back to having their regularly scheduled bromance thank you goodnight
9. Harry is actually dating a new person each book, no matter how short-lived it is. Why? Comedy. It's FUNNY.
10. I think Harry and Ginny have a shotgun wedding at like, nineteen.
11. All I know is that in my brief dive into AO3 (re: I looked up this exact tag out of morbid curiosity of it was A Thing), Sirius/Snape were apparently one of the smallest ships with like only 2k fics which is wild to me, because that enemies to lovers??? Thought bitches would eat that shit up. I don't ship it, but it still was wild.
12. Sirius and Remus are in love. (post mortum: I have now dived just slightly in the fic of Harry Potter and realize this is widely accepted fanon.)
13. Hermione wears fun frilly dresses outside of school and actually really loves dressing up and being girly fuck this 'not like other girls' agenda going on with her. Put her in a pretty dress and let her frolic in a field with flowers.
14. Luna is a seer. She goes on to teach divination
15. I was gonna say something about in my little noggin Ginny raised her and Harry's kid as a single mom or whatever and it's a fic I'm gonna work on and also his name is Remus Weasley and he's a Slytherin but APPARENTLY that's just the entire plot of the Cursed Child as my HP special interest having bestie informed me. I just added in a Gryffindor pretty boy for my Slytherin Potter boy to make out with when JKR was too much of a coward to make him gay.
16. RON SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN HUFFLEPUFF.
17. Cedric Diggory lived a very long and happy life and had a lovely spouse - guy who got really attached to this dorky little dude, knowing full well how he died.
18. It takes Harry at LEAST two marriages to women to realize he's gay. The egg takes a very long time to crack.
19. Ron is straight. He's just. He's got such bi wife energy.
20. Ginny Weasley is a raging bisexual, and so are the twins, and so is Bill. And Charlie? I know in my soul that's a nonbinary.
21. Luna Lovegood? NOT a lesbian, sorry lesbians. I'm claiming her for the aromantics. That's right. She belongs to us.
22. Fleur Delacour was a lesbian. LESBIAN.
23. Harry and Dudley reconnect in their like, thirties/forties and actually become good friends I think.
24. Harry often does diy piercings in the bathrooms during fifth and sixth year, Luna helps.
25. Fred and Lee Jordan are boyfriends god bless.
26. Out of spite for JKR, here's a list of trans woman in Harry Potter according to ME: Ginny Weasley, McGonagall, Hermione, Luna, Lily Potter (her and James are t4t), Tonks (that bitch is nonbinary transfemme),
27. I will live, breathe, and die by my personal headcannon that Tonks and Remus are comphet and in a lavender marriage but they lovingly coparent their child together and regularly at parties Tonks goes "where's my husband? Oh, he's making out with his boyfriend okay cool." and moves on.
28. Draco Malfoy's patronus is that white ferret Moody Crouch turned him into in book four.
29. In my perfect world James Potter is alive and I love him most than anything, I'm holding him like a wet cat. i literally bought three stag plushes over the month I was reading this series just because I couldn't stop thinking about him.
30. I am ignoring the implications in the epilogue that Harry did not raise Teddy Lupin, because he did, actually. That was the last promise he made to his beloved Remus Lupin and if Deathly Hallows taught us anything it's that Harry Potter keeps a fucking promise <<3
31. Molly and Arthur heavily assisted Harry in his 'I'm gonna raise this god damn orphan to good y'all won't know what hit him. I'm gonna be such a good dad.'
32. I am literally IGNORING all these implications of the Cursed Child. Draco Malfoy is also a banger dad. i think he goes to counseling and sorts out his issues and tries very hard to not put such high expectations on his own kids. I think he tries very hard to undo the damage Lucius did to him, and the bad choices he made in trying to make his parents proud of him. I think he makes sure his kids know better than anything else, that all he wants for them is joy. He wants them to be good, happy people.
33. Just Lovers - Zerrazapriel says that Sirius' patronus is Moony and that's so fucking real and true of that fucking fic and I live by that now.
34. On a similar note, Molly and Arthur have matching patronus'
35. Fuck this 'hermione minister of magic' nonsense that girl is a leftist and would never join politics did jkr forget her own fucking canon of harry and hermione doing their absolute best to fuck the government over for the last half of the series? whatever the fuck. HERMIONE TEACHES CHARMS AT HOGWARTS.
36. I'm sorry I got so heated on that last one. I had thoughts. Anyways, Draco also goes on to become head of Slytherin and teaches DADA.
37. I was so anti-Draco for the entire first five books and then the last two books Happened and so now I'm just holding him so close to my chest. He needs therapy. And i think it takes him until their mid-twenties or so, but I think he does make amends with Harry and the crew and actively tries to come back from the actions of his youth, and obviously the Golden Trio and co are sympathetic because Harry himself in the books clearly could recognize Draco was acting on the instruction of his trusted adults, trusting they knew better than him.
38. this is not a headcanon but the wandlore of Draco having a unicorn hair in his wand and the unicorn hair wizards being the most difficult to turn evil and his wand ultimately being the one to defeat voldemort is sooooooo. He's such a product of grooming and I think about him. I want to study him.
39. YOU KNOW WHAT. what if I said harry trans woman who unpacks her gender after the war is over and has time to contemplate who she is as a person and her and Draco become a very cute and in love little couple in their early thirties??? what then???? (does this fic exist and if it does give me links)
40. I think the funniest mental image ever is if Harry just shows up to a party or whatever with everyone when they're like, 26 with Draco fucking Malfoy in his arm and is like "this is my boyfriend" with no further explanation or nothing and half of the group is like "no yeah this is an expected development" and the other half is like "THE BITCHBOY????" and yeah.
I will most definitely have more Harry Potter thoughts as time goes on but this is all I'll put into the world. Good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight.
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tomegnome · 1 year
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🖤Monster Lover Book Recs🖤
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Were you, like me, gaslit by booktok influencers into reading Ice Planet Barbarians? You may be entitled to financial compensation. Call 1-800-blue-peepee for more information. Not really BUT!!! Below is a list of passable monster fucker books I discovered after spite reading like 30 of these after being utterly disappointed by IPB and hellbent on find some that were at least OKAY. Better than Ice Planet Barbarians, at least
The genre being what it is, make sure to check on the content warnings linked on TheStoryGraph if there's anything specific you're worried about. Also there ARE some lgbtqa+ books on this list (you’re welcome).
🕸🕷️Ensnared by by Tiffany Roberts🕷️🕸 I read this so long ago, and I can barely remember it tbh. A big alien spider monster finds a human woman that has crashed landed onto his planet and is like: FUCK this mammoth spider queen hottie who wants me to be her king, I want this gangly little blonde thing I fished out of a dirty hole. Ok. Sure. Pros: This author is committed to the art of monster fucking. This is not just like a guy but furry. Or a guy but scales. This is a big ass spider fucking a lady. And that’s beautiful. Cons: You know that “born sexy yesterday” trope? Because of the communication/cultural differences it kind of felt like they were both each other’s sexy baby. I didn’t really care for the characters or plot tbh, I just persevered because I just had to see how those crazy kids made it work. I was like, “seriously what are the mechanics?” Turns out: webs!
🚀🐱Engineering Fate by Alexis B. Osborne🐱🚀 Sasha tumbles through a wormhole into a part of space uninhabited by humankind--and instead inhabited by sexy cat men (yay). This one starts with the “captured by aliens” trope à la Ice Planet Barbarians, but it’s not a weird, uncomfortable sex thing (yay). Pros: I loved how active the main character was compared to the protags of this genre. She murders soooo many people. I was cheering out loud. Kill those birdmen, girlboss. Cons: Did not really care about the ML or the smut at all. But if you are into breeder kink--or were one of those kids with a huge crush on Simba growing up--then you are in for a treat.  FYI, if you read this and like it, do not read the next in the series. It’s NOT good.
🦖🪐Heart's Prisoner by Olivia Riley🪐🦖Communication specialist studies dangerous--but totally hot--alien prisoner of war “Asset X”. Pros: campy action scenes which I always enjoy. A dinosaur wreaking havoc on a space station in my sex book? More likely than you think., but the ML was fun and sexy. No “soul mates” or “that’s the mother of my child” stuff as far as I can remember, which is always a plus. Cons: The FL has as much personality as an Austin’s sandwich cracker (fyi: that’s the worst kind of sandwich character). 
🐊🔮She Came From The Swamp by Darva Green🔮🐊 She was a girl, she was also a girl--but also a Ukrainian Swamp monster--Can I make it any more obvious? Let me tell you. It is already a challenge to find passable heterosexual monster smut. Sapphic monster smut? Oh my god. But this is cute and good! Pros: adorable leads, relatively simple story that focuses on what we’re all really here for. Cons: sometimes they did it while the swamp monster was in human form, and I was like. Why?
☢️💀Soul Eater by Lily Mayne💀☢️ Post-apocalyptic setting, but also there’s interdimensional portals that have appeared on all over Earth that aliens pour out of it. Aliens ranging from cute critters to blood thirsty monstrosities to shredded gay monster hotties. A supernatural monster dubbed “Soul Eater” slaughters a battlefield of men--leaving only a single soldier. What does the mysterious killer want with Danny? Pros: A bonkers plot with lots of action and violence? Check. A seemingly cold and scary love interest that is actually super soft and protective? Check. An author brave enough to actually write weird monster dick instead of just being like, “it’s big and blue!” Cons: having read a few books in this series the huge lack of meaningful female characters and non-white characters throughout is a bummer. 
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returntosaturn271995 · 8 months
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Friday, September 15th: Must be the season of the witch
Fair well late summer, it's early fall.
It's 1:30 pm and I am just babysitting my email until 2:30 because it is Friday and I am outta here baby. Whoops, spoke too soon. Have to help my co-worker Carlye with something called a "Hype Sheet" because God is laughing at my career choice.
Okay, I'm back. I enjoy Carlye she's fun. We both love the Sunday Scaries account.
This morning I did a 30-minute speed run wearing my "Gay for Soccer" hat and didn't get hit on, so mission accomplished! Maddy also told me to check out "Cowboy Caviar" as a potential next recipe. Today for breakfast I made myself a spinach and berry smoothie and Makenna made me some french toast...that may or may not have had some pastry paper baked into it. God love her, it was a very sweet gesture.
The stain on the carpet is fucked lol. We're just going to have to move it around or use it as a Rorschach device. Also last night I watched Theatre Camp and it was amazing.
Today's meditation was about emotional overwhelm, which kicked in right about the time my second cup of coffee did. I'm pretty revved up right now with not a lot of plans...this may or may not lead to some shenanigans.
Outfit: red, orange, and black graphic body-con midi skirt, cropped black long-sleeve top, low ponytail with a side part, heeled black booties.
Reading: The Rachel Incident, need to download the murder book for Book Club.
Hinge: Not as cute as this skirt
Sober September: Still a perfect record that may or may not be challenged tomorrow for Nat's b-day drinks but whatever. I've been an angel so far. An angel with very tight shins.
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cscclibrary · 3 years
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[Horizontal graphic; background yellow streaks on black. Black, blue, and orange text: “Top 100 Most Banned and Challenged Books of the Past Decade / ALA American Library Association.” Image courtesy of the American Library Association.]
In 2020, the American Library Association released a list of the 100 most frequently banned and challenged books from 2010-2019. Most of them are for children and young adults, or are commonly assigned in schools. They range from century-old classics to current popular novels. Some were challenged for predictable reasons--swearing, violence, or sex. Many were challenged because they contained LGBTQ+ content. Some were challenged because they critiqued social institutions.
All of them are available either in the Columbus State Library or via the OhioLINK system. Clicking on any of the titles below will tell you where you can find the book; OhioLINK items can be requested and sent to the Columbus State campus. In the case of a series, the link usually leads to the first title in the series. Enjoy your right to read!
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie
Captain Underpants (series) by Dav Pilkey
Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
Looking for Alaska by John Green
George by Alex Gino
And Tango Makes Three by Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell
Drama by Raina Telgemeier
Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James
Internet Girls (series) by Lauren Myracle
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
I Am Jazz by Jazz Jennings and Jessica Herthel
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Bone (series) by Jeff Smith
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls
Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan
A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo by Jill Twiss
Sex is a Funny Word by Cory Silverberg
Alice McKinley (series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
It’s Perfectly Normal by Robie H. Harris
Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult
Scary Stories (series) by Alvin Schwartz
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out by Susan Kuklin
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas
Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic by Alison Bechdel
It’s a Book by Lane Smith
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien
What My Mother Doesn’t Know by Sonya Sones
A Child Called “It” by Dave Pelzer
Bad Kitty (series) by Nick Bruel
Crank by Ellen Hopkins
Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich
Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi
The Adventures of Super Diaper Baby by Dav Pilkey
This Day in June by Gayle E. Pitman
This One Summer by Mariko Tamaki
A Bad Boy Can Be Good For A Girl by Tanya Lee Stone
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Goosebumps (series) by R.L. Stine
In Our Mothers’ House by Patricia Polacco
Lush by Natasha Friend
The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon
The Bible
This Book is Gay by Juno Dawson
Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer
Gossip Girl (series) by Cecily von Ziegesar
House of Night (series) by P.C. Cast
My Mom’s Having A Baby by Dori Hillestad Butler
Neonomicon by Alan Moore
The Dirty Cowboy by Amy Timberlake
The Giver by Lois Lowry
Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo Anaya
Draw Me a Star by Eric Carle
Dreaming In Cuban by Cristina Garcia
Fade by Lisa McMann
The Family Book by Todd Parr
Feed by M.T. Anderson
Go the Fuck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach
Habibi by Craig Thompson
The House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende
Jacob’s New Dress by Sarah Hoffman
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
Monster by Walter Dean Myers
Nasreen’s Secret School by Jeanette Winter
Saga by Brian K. Vaughan
Stuck in the Middle by Ariel Schrag
The Kingdom of Little Wounds by Susann Cokal
1984 by George Orwell
A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess
Almost Perfect by Brian Katcher
The Awakening by Kate Chopin
Burned by Ellen Hopkins
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card
Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
Glass by Ellen Hopkins
Heather Has Two Mommies by Lesle´a Newman
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Madeline and the Gypsies by Ludwig Bemelmans
My Princess Boy by Cheryl Kilodavis
Prince and Knight by Daniel Haack
Revolutionary Voices: A Multicultural Queer Youth Anthology by Amy Sonnie
Skippyjon Jones (series) by Judith Schachner
So Far from the Bamboo Grove by Yoko Kawashima Watkins
The Color of Earth (series) by Tong-hwa Kim
The Librarian of Basra by Jeanette Winter
The Walking Dead (series) by Robert Kirkman
Tricks by Ellen Hopkins
Uncle Bobby’s Wedding by Sarah S Brannen
Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks
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manchesterau · 3 years
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my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)
okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.
im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 
the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).
next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.
Tom:
I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 
I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.
anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 
tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).
i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 
i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).
To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.
Marion:
😑 
i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....
To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....
this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)
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listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed
all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.
she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****
Patrick:
PATRICKKKKK
Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).
There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.
I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.
I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 
Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.
Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):
Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY
Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 
Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.
tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 
overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....
there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).
the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.
thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!
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karlajoyner · 3 years
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Stressed Out (Sunset Curve x Reader)
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A/n: So starting off I've made a master list that I'm posting real soon for you all to access my stories without the scrolling. In order to post it I have to update my post about my requests/taglist and soon because I do get a lot on that comments that ask for more Charlie or more Owen and I wanna give you guys that but I also wanna make sure that I get through the requests that you guys send me with plots and storylines. It just makes it like a thousand times easier to have something to work off of. Opposed to me coming up with my own storylines that I have to do a lot of reading on my own to get my gears working! But again thank you guys for the comments! And finally I wanna say thank you for sending in your requests and your feed back. It is much appreciated!
Disclaimer: Alex is bi in this one not taking away from the fact that he's gay in the show it just runs best for this storyline! There is no Bobby btw! Haven’t written a foursome with 3 guys before so it might suck ass. And it’s not much but it’s something so enjoy my fellow fantoms!
Warnings: Smut (18+)
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I internally groaned walking into school. I wasn't the worst student. But by far I certainly was not the best. Which is why I had a reputation since I first arrived to high school.
That and I was in a band with 3 of my best friends. Who all happened to be guys. Hot guys at that.
Which automatically made me the schools slut. It was fine with me but the boys didn't like the label.
No matter how true it was.
"Hey y/n heard you gave Mike Dawson a blowjob this weekend. Just when I thought you couldn't be anymore of a slut"
"Mind your fucking business Hayley" I heard a familiar voice speak up for me. A smirk spreading on my face as I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder.
"Did she come to you right after Patterson? What's it like to be her sloppy seconds?" Hayley Becker spoke with a wicked evil smirk plastered on her face.
"Fucking amazing actually. God the long nights we have. It's so great" I heard another familiar voice from my left. A large hand intertwining my fingers with theirs. She rolled her eyes clearly not expecting my boys to speak up for me. But then again neither was I.
"Slut"
"Skank"
"Whore"
"Bitch" I spoke as the bell rang.
"Just watch your back y/l/n" She said before turning around and walking away.
"She will!" Reggie shouted after the dark haired girl. The three of us expectantly looking at our bandmate.
"What? I didn't even get to tell her we would too" I sighed shaking my head at the boy.
"Thanks for sticking up for me guys but I can do that myself"
"We know. But your our girl. And apart of this band so we're kinda obligated" Alex spoke as the four of us walked to first period.
"Your really not"
"Come on y/n you know we're still gonna do it"
"I know and I only let you today cause I can't deal with that bitch at this time of day. I mean seriously it's 8:00 o'clock in the morning. Does she not have anything better to do than spread rumors about me?"
"Apparently not. So you and Jake Mills behind the church?" Reggie asked.
"Didn't happen considering I was with you idiots all weekend. You know your the only guys I touch" I bit my lip hearing the three of them chuckle.
"Yeah well it better stay that way. I don't wanna hear Trevor O'Connor bragging about banging you in the boys locker room again"
"Schools golden boy?" I questioned.
"He tried starting the rumor yesterday during p.e but we quickly shut it down" Reggie explained as I stopped a few feet away from the science room to continue talking.
"So Hayleys boyfriend wants to bang me? Wow"
"Yeah but don't even fucking thing about" Luke said pushing me up against the lockers beside us.
"I wasn't. Unless you guys piss me off" I grinned pushing him off of me. Opening the door a few feet away and walking in.
"Gentlemen. And Ms. y/l/n. Your late"
"Sorry Mrs. Daniels we had to deal with something"
"And did this something give you tardy passes"
"It did not"
"Detention. All of you"
"That's nothing new to them Mrs. Daniels"
"Shut the fuck up Hayley" I scoffed taking my seat beside Alex.
"Ladies stop it before I send you to the principal"
"Yes Mrs. Daniels" Hayley and I spoke in sync.
"I can't believe Luke dated her" I whispered towards Alex glaring at the blonde bimbo.
"Jealous?"
"Why would I be? I already have him. And I could have her boyfriend too if I wanted him" I said taking down the notes on the board.
"Mrs. Daniels I can't focus on the lesson because they're distracting me with their talking" Hayley spoke pointing an accusing finger at us.
"We are not!" I shouted sitting up.
"Yes you are probably talking about who your gonna whore around with next"
"Yeah it's your boyfriend if you don't check yourself Hayley"
"Trevor would never do that!"
"I'm pretty sure he would"
"Ladies principal office right now" I scoffed standing up.
"Wait!" Luke shouted standing up. Everyone's heads whipping toward him. He made his way over to me groping my left boob.
I scowled at how hard he squeezed glaring at him.
"Dickhead" I muttered.
"Mr. Patterson! You too principals office" We looked at the other two boys expectantly. Alex immediately rolling his eyes before standing up.
"We could do this the easy way or the hard way Mrs. Daniels"
"If she goes we go"
"I cannot send you two away for absolutely no reason Reginald" Mrs. Daniels spoke challenging the boys.
I close my eyes preparing myself for what came next. Alex was quick to slap my ass while Reggie pulled me in for a sweet kiss. Immediately earning gasps from my classmates.
"Now I can do it. Office all of you! And detention today after school!"
I groaned walking out of the principals office with my bandmates.
"Detention for 3 weeks. Seriously?"
"To make it worse we have to spend 2 of those with Hayley" I spoke seeing the blonde talking with Trevor just a few feet away. Being sure to send them a harsh glare, I finally turned back to the boys.
"Hey you'll be with us everything's gonna be fine" Reggie said throwing an arm around my shoulder leading me away to our next period. That we conveniently had together.
"No it won't. I also have to chaperone the stupid homecoming with Hayley" I cried wanting nothing more than for the day to be done for.
That afternoon we spent in detention not leaving until late afternoon. Due to the fact that my detention went on longer than the boys.
I walked into the studio behind Luke not really in the mood to practice.
"What's wrong y/n/n? You seem down" Reggie asked as I plopped back onto the couch.
"I'm just tired is all. And a little stressed out"
"But we've gotta practice baby, for our next gig. Sunset Curves so gonna rock that book club" Luke said picking up his six string. I watched as Alex and Reggie sent him a glare, the boy immediately putting it back down.
"Or we could take a day off" He spoke coming to sit to my left while Reggie was on my right.
"That sounds amazing" I mumbled feeling Alex begin to massage my shoulders from behind. I craned my neck allowing him more access. Now feeling a little more relaxed than before.
"So tell us y/n/n why are you stressed out?" Luke asked as I shut my eyes.
"Well for starters I'm so gonna get my ass beat when I get home" I sighed feeling Reggie begin to rub my arm to comfort me. Something he did often with how anxious I got.
"And there's just nothing I want to do more than run your ex girlfriend over with a bulldozer" I mumbled hearing a chuckle escape their lips.
"Sounds like a plan" Alex said as Luke intertwined our fingers.
"We'll make a day out of it. Just us four and a bulldozer" He joked making me giggle. The laugh got caught in my throat as I felt a soft kiss on the side of my neck.
"Seriously guys? Not today. No way" I spoke opening my eyes.
"We just wanna help you relax"
"That's what you said last time. I couldn't walk right for 2 days" I mumbled the last part.
"We'll be gentle" Reggie spoke.
"I know you will Reg. It's them I'm worried about" I spoke earning a pointed look from Alex.
"Okay Luke"
"Am I that rough?" He asked a frown forming on his face.
"Sometimes" I admitted feeling a little bad.
"Gee I'm sorry baby" Luke spoke kissing the back of my hand.
"It's okay. I like it when I'm in the mood" I said watching as Alex walked around the couch.
"Well then boys why don't we help our girl relax for today" Alex said bending down in front of me. I bit my lip as he spread my legs open feeling a slight breeze hit my covered core.
"Well there's no need for your skirt or these" Alex spoke toying with the waistbands of both my skirt and panties.
I shimmied out of them with ease leaving me exposed to my best friends like I'd been many times before.
"She just gets prettier every time"
"And wetter"
"Mind if I taste baby?" Luke asked. I nodded my head, watching as he dipped his long fingers in between my folds. Moaning as he pulled them back up to see them glistening with my cum.
"So good" He whispered putting them in his mouth.
"Okay I want a taste now" Alex said opening my legs a little wider.
"Guys. A little help" I huffed as Luke and Reggie hooked themselves on each of my thighs to keep me still.
"Please" I begged getting more turned on by the second. The blonde didn't hesitate to latch onto my core. A loud moan escaping my lips.
"Oh fuck" I struggled to keep still as he moved his tongue skillfully through my folds. Lapping it inside and out as moans fell from my lips.
I whimpered as Reggie slowly began to rub my clit making the pleasure intensify.
"Use y-you're f-fingers" I mustered out Alex obeying my request sticking two fingers in my wet pussy. Picking up the pace. My eyes screwed shut as a familiar feeling of bliss coursed through me.
"Look at me baby" Luke muttered turning my head to look at him with his free hand. I opened my eyes looking into his blue ones covered with complete lust.
He was quick to smash his lips onto mine as the other two worked on building up my orgasm. Which wasn't far at the pace Alex was working on me.
"Holy shit!" I panted pulling away and throwing my head back at the amazing sensation of my orgasm hitting.
"You squirted princess" Alex grinned wiping away the liquids dribbling down his chin. I giggled at his swollen pink lips placing a quick peck to them.
"What now baby?" Luke asked rubbing his hand on my thigh.
I looked at the three boys before discarding any remaining clothes I had left. Watching as their eyes raked me up and down like many times before.
"Reg can you just fuck me today. I really need gentle" I begged as his cheeks turned bright red whenever I asked him to do something. Whether it was sexual or not.
"Sure beautiful" He smiled lopsidedly pushing his lips onto mine.
I sighed in content as he pushed me down on the couch. My head landing on Luke's lap giving me a little leverage.
"She's something else" Alex spoke to no one in particular.
"Your telling me" Reggie panted pulling away to undo his belt and jeans. I bit my lip looking up at the boy with the blue eyes. Who no surprise had a smirk plastered on his face.
"Condom" I heard Alex say presumably to Reggie. But I was too entrance in Luke's gaze wanting to include him. Upon hearing a ripping of a package I glance back at the boy who was hovering above me.
"I can do something for you after if you want" I bit my lip speaking towards Luke.
"It's okay baby. It's about you today" He said moving his hand down from my collarbone to my boob.
Reggie and I moaned simultaneously as he slowly entered me. Immediately stretching me out.
"So tight" He muttered beginning to move at a steady pace.
A squeal escaping my lips as Luke pinched my nipples paying close attention to each of them. He'd always been a boob guy.
I pulled Reggie down towards me our lips meeting in the middle as his speed began to increase.
Then there they were again. Fingers were now rubbing circles on my clit presumably Alex's sending my body into pure ecstasy.
I moaned loudly into Reggies mouth as I felt myself my inner walls clench around him. Earning a groan from the bassist. His thrust becoming more sloppy.
"Shit. Shit. Oh fuck" He cursed as his orgasm hit. Mine coming seconds after.
"Holy fuck Reg" I panted coming down from my high.
"That was pretty fucking hot princess" Alex spoke as Reggie got off of me to go throw away the condom.
"I try" I joked sitting up. Luke immediately removing his muscle tee and handing it to me.
"You do know this isn't gonna cover much up right?" I questioned him putting it on anyway.
"Who said we wanted you to cover up baby" He said pulling me under his arm. I sighed contently placing my hands on his bare torso.
"Anyways Reg why don't you go run her a bath inside the house" Alex suggested throwing me my panties that had been thrown onto the lazy boy.
"Got it!" Reggie said coming over and placing a chaste kiss to my lips before running out of the garage.
"I get to clean her up in the shower. Called it" Luke said as Alex wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Just as long as I get to put her to bed"
"Guys I've orgasmed twice today give me a break"
"Are you feeling more relaxed princess?"
Alex asked grinning at me.
"Much. Now if we could do that consistently for the next 2 weeks then I might be able to get through detention with Hayley without ripping her head off" I spoke earning a laugh from the two boys. Both of them knowing well that I wasn't joking.
————
Up Next: Carrie Wilson x Reader
Owen Patrick Joyner x Reader
Charlie Gillespie x Reader
Alex x Male Reader
Luke Patterson x Reader
Charlie Gillespie x Reader
————
@lolychu @headheartbellarke @bookish0918 @kcd15 @ifilwtmfc @moviesbooksandfandoms @lovesanimals @lavender-writer @kaitieskidmore1 @morganayennefertyrell @iloveteenwolf @ghostofmgg
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Text
Seven times someone spoke to a Marauder alone in a portrait and one person who spoke to them all together
In a world where all the Marauders died in the first war, their souls are preserved in portraits in Hogwarts. Their stories are legend if a bit tweaked, and their names are famous if a bit forgettable. But they were painted individually, and housed all over the castle, separated for all eternity from each other.
(Also, there are seven Marauders because Lily, Severus, and Regulus. Fight me.)
(FOR CONTEXT: Regulus married a Muggle named Amir and had a daughter with him named Hailee. Regulus and Sirius never fell out and Regulus calls Remus “Mum” because reasons. Sirius and Remus married and died without children and James and Lily had Harry with their partner, Severus. Peter had a nonbinary partner named Max, but they died in the war.)
ONE: Regulus Black (Room of Requirement) & Draco Malfoy [Second Year - Youth (Daughter)]
Draco is coming back from Quidditch practice after calling Hermione a Mudblood. He’s walking alone down a hallway empty of doors when one suddenly materializes in front of him. He walks inside, too curious not to, and finds a room with two chairs in front of a crackling fire.
Over the fire hangs a portrait of a young man with pale skin, ebony hair, and striking grey eyes. Draco sits down in one of the chairs and picks up the cup of hot cocoa from the coffee table, looking up at the portrait, which has now started moving.
“Who are you?” He asks, and the portrait shoots him a grim look.
“My name is Regulus Black. Do you know who I am?”
Draco shakes his head. Regulus hums, tugging at something around his wrist.
“I’m a Death Eater who defied Voldemort,” he says, pulling his sleeves up to reveal a blank wrist. “They didn’t paint me with that wretched Mark, thank Merlin.”
Draco puts his cocoa down, nervous, and finds his eyes darting around the room for a door.
“How do I get out of here?” He asks with all the politeness he can muster, and Regulus offers him a wry smile.
“Right through that door,” he says gently, pointing to the door now etching itself out of the wall. “But please remember, Draco - you make your own choices in life. You decide who you are. Not a House, not a name, not a Mark. You. Do not forget that like I did.”
Draco nods, backing towards the door.
“But you defected,” he says, feeling small. Regulus smiles sadly, his eyes cutting.
“Yes, I did. And I paid for it with my life. And the life of my partner, and my daughter, and my brother and my mum and my best friends. I paid, Draco. I’m still paying.”
Draco has his hand on the door knob. “Huh,” he says, and opens the door when Regulus adds, “Oh, and Draco, dear? Don’t call people Mudbloods. There’s no such thing. And it’s rude.”
Draco nods frantically and closes the door so hard he lands flat on his ass in the hallway, watching the door seal itself and fade back into stone.
TWO: James Potter (Gryffindor Quidditch “Hall” of Fame, Gryffindor Common Room) & Seamus Finnigan [Fourth Year - Never Not (Lauv)]
Seamus finds himself alone in the Gryffindor common room one Wednesday morning, pretending to be sick with a cold. He’s wrapped in a blanket and staring into the empty fireplace when he hears, “YO! KID!”
Startled, he falls off the couch, and stumbles up and over to the Quidditch trophy case in the corner. There, in a small frame, is the smiling face of a boy who looks just like Harry, except without the mark, with dark eyes, and happier. Seamus reads the plaque, James Potter, and smiles sadly, wondering if Harry has ever talked to this portrait before.
James, meanwhile, barrels forward, “You’re the one in love with that lanky black kid, right?” Seamus’ eyes snap up as he sputters, but James just grins. “Cool. I thought so. Can I give you some advice…?”
“Seamus.”
“Can I give you some advice, Seamus?”
Seamus, now bright red, says, “Um, sure?”
James’ eyes twinkle and he says, “Tell him.”
Seamus starts coughing, beating his chest as James laughs and he protests, “No! No, I can’t just tell my best friend I’m in love with him!”
James shrugs. “You can,” he says. “You wanna know a secret?” He leans in just a bit. “My best friends fell in love.”
Seamus startles. “What?” He breathes, and James grins.
“Yeah. Sirius Potter and Remus Lupin. Wasted six bloody years apart before finally giving in and admitting it. They’re the most in love people I’ve ever met.” His brow wrinkles. “Well, except Sev and Lily and me.” It wrinkles further. “Nah, I gotta give ‘em this one.”
Seamus gapes in shock for a moment before blurting, “That werewolf and the Black runaway were in love?! And you - fuck, you were with Severus Snape???” James stares at him for a moment before blinking and then bursting into laughter.
When he finally calms down, he looks back up at Seamus’ flushed face and says, “Sirius is a Potter and a Lupin, not a Black. And he and Remy loved each other more than anything. And yeah, Sev and Lily and I had some real fun times.” He tilts his head in consideration and says, “Actually, now that I think about it, some of those happened right on that couch over there. It’s weird they haven’t gotten a new one, huh?”
Seamus sputters for a third and final time and skitters away with a tomato-red face as James shouts after him, “TELL HIM, KID! SHOVE HIM AGAINST A WALL AND SNOG HIM SENSELESS!”
(Seamus, later, to Harry: “Your dad is fucking wack, bro.”)
THREE: Lily Evans (Library, Restricted Section) & Cedric Diggory [Fourth Year - Someone To You (BANNERS), Good Old Days (Kesha, Macklemore)]
Cedric sneaks into the Restricted Section to hide from all the pressure of the tournament. One night he’s thumbing through the books in his boredom when he finds an unframed portrait of a smiling redhead. As soon as he lifts her out of the book, titled The Marauders: A Complete History of Unfiltered Pranks (by Minerva Mcgonogall for Minerva Mcgonogall, signed by Regulus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Severus Snape, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Lupin (Love you Minnie!), and Lily Evans), the portrait pipes up, “Hi! I’m Lily!”
Cedric nearly drops the book in shock, but manages to catch it at the last second, mustering up a smile for the grinning portrait and introducing himself. She beams and glances at the book in his hand, her smile turning mischievous. “That’s a good one. We did get up to a lot, didn’t we?”
Speechless, he nods, not really processing that she’s just admitted to being Lily Evans, and her eyes dull with sadness at the sight of one of the injuries on his collarbone from the most recent challenge.
“Where’d you get that?” She asks, and he explains the tournament. She hums, and finally murmurs, “I heard them say my son is in that. Is that true?”
Mouth dry, Cedric nods, and Lily looks up at him again with glassy eyes and rasps, “Can you tell him I love him? That I’m proud of him and so are his fathers? Can you tell him that for me?”
Cedric nods again, hearing a creak and turning his head towards the noise when Lily whispers, “Go. Go, Cedric, before you get caught. Be brave, honey.” Cedric shoves the portrait back into the book and the book back onto the shelf with a muttered goodbye before sprinting away, Lily’s words echoing in his ears like a dying child’s scream.
FOUR: Sirius Black (Mcgonogall’s Office) & Ginny Weasley [Fifth Year - Alone (Bazzi)]
Ginny is sitting in Mcgonogall’s office, waiting for her professor to come and scold her for punching Zabini (he touched Luna’s ass, what was she supposed to do? Ask him to kindly stick his nose up where the sun don’t shine? She’d still be here, and he’d still be snickering like the slimy motherfucker he is in that dungeon cell he calls his bedroom). She hears a cough from somewhere on Mcgonogall’s desk and straightens up, ducking her head to peek around when she hears, “Pssst. Over here.”
She looks over and sees a framed picture of Sirius Black, grinning as if he’d never died. She swallows down her tears and nods her head in a polite hello. Sirius’ smile saddens as he says, “I hear you’re dating my godson.”
Ginny blushes, but nods, and for a moment, Sirius looks like he’s about to cry. “Why are you here, Ginny?” He asks softly, and she shrugs.
“Punched a Slytherin who touched my friend’s ass.”
Sirius grins at that, nodding his head in respect. “Good girl. You ever think about why that is?”
Ginny’s brow furrows and she opens her mouth to ask what he means when she sees his eyes wandering to a sketch of a wolf howling at the moon on Mcgonogall’s far wall, with the note For you, Minnie. Moony didn’t want it. Love, Sirius.
“I fell in love with a boy once,” Sirius murmurs. “My best friend. Remus Lupin. And he loved me back.”
I know, Ginny wants to say. You two were married and gave baby Harry joint Christmas presents and danced in the kitchen when you thought no one else was still awake. I’ve heard the stories, I’ve seen the pictures. I know. But instead she stays quiet, listening as Sirius tells his story.
“But instead of admitting that, I dated Marlene McKinnon for three years. Sold my gay ass out to a lesbian whore because I was too afraid to tell him how I felt about him.” Ginny has a lot of questions about the “lesbian whore” part - “I mean, she was a friend of mine, but I never wanted to kiss her, or sleep with her, but I did anyway. And he looked so fucking sad all the time. But he didn’t say anything. He didn’t wanna ruin my happiness. I didn’t know how to tell him that he was my happiness. By the time I figured it out, it was too late.”
Ginny swallows, finally speaking up, “Why are you telling me this?” Sirius finally tears his eyes away from the picture of the wolf and the moon and gives her a bitter smile.
“Because I’m dead and my husband and I spent a mere three years together in all of the ten we knew each other. What kind of bullshit is that?”
Ginny shrugs. “Some bullshit,” she answers, and laughs uncomfortably.
Sirius laughs too, then sighs. He looks deep into her eyes and says, “I love my godson. You make sure he knows that. But I also love my husband. And I spent too damn long running from that. So let me save you a bit of trouble, Ginny - the greatest love is often the scariest.”
Ginny purses her lips. “What are you saying?” She says slowly, and Sirius smiles sadly as Mcgonogall’s heels come clicking down the hall.
“I’m saying maybe you shouldn’t waste your time on Harry when both your and his hearts lie elsewhere.”
Ginny blushes, looking down at the homemade bracelet Luna made her three summers ago, and at the sound of the door opening, she looks back up at a frozen Sirius, whose eyes are caught on Mcgonogall, somehow still twinkling.
FIVE: Peter Pettigrew (Outside Gryffindor Dorms) & Ron Weasley [Fifth Year - lovely (Billie Eilish, Khalid)]
Ron is sulking on the stairs outside the Gryffindor common room after a particularly bad Quidditch loss. He wishes he were with Hermione and Harry, but they were already tangled together when he came upstairs and he didn’t want to intrude, even though they invited him to.
He knows they’re all best friends, he just feels so much like the third wheel sometimes. So he’s sulking when he hears a soft, “Hey.”
He looks up in surprise and sees a portrait of Peter Pettigrew, and he immediately steels his eyes, backing away. Seeing this, Peter shouts, “Wait, no! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I know! I just - I didn’t actually betray them, you know? Okay, well, I did, but - but I fixed it! They forgave me! I promise I’m not evil, I’m not, Ron -”
“How do you know my name?” Ron blurts, and Peter jumps back in his frame, startled, then smiles softly.
“They say it,” he answers. “Harry, and that girl you’re always with. They say your name all the time.”
Ron blushes. “Oh,” he says, ducking his head with a smile. When he looks back up into Peter’s sad eyes, he says, “We lost today. Quidditch.”
Peter cocks his head. “To who?”
Ron shrugs, looking down at his lap and fidgeting with his fingers over his knees. “Slytherin. Never lost against Slytherin before.”
Peter shrugs. “James and Sirius did. All the time.”
Ron looks up. “Really?” Peter smiles softly.
“Yeah. Mostly because they wanted Severus and Regulus to feel good, but. Yeah, they lost to Slytherin all the damn time.”
Ron’s smile fades. “Severus? Like, Snape? The Death Eater?”
Peter winces, then shrugs. “The Order spy. But, yeah.”
Ron blinks in shock. “They were friends? Even after Lily?”
Peter’s brow furrows in confusion, but he answers anyway, “Yes? They were dating. Them and Lily. Sent the whole school up in flames.”
Ron’s jaw drops open. “You can do that?”
Peter shrugs. “Yeah, ‘course you can. You can date Harry and that girl if you want. No one’s stopping you.”
Ron flushes, looking down in shame.
“They don’t want me,” he mumbles. “Not the way they want each other.”
Peter hums. “Severus said that too. So did James. They were both idiots.” Looking up at Ron’s glistening eyes and pouting lips, he smiles.
“Just because you’re not the smartest or the strongest or the funniest or the best at anything in particular doesn’t mean you’re not important, or that people don’t care about you.”
Ron nods, slowly. He stands and heads back inside without another word, pretending he doesn’t hear Peter sigh and say, “You’re welcome,” bitterly as he mumbles the password to the Fat Lady and slips back through the crack in the door.
SIX: Severus Snape (Headmaster’s Office) & Hermione Granger [Sixth Year - Ophelia (The Lumineers), O Children (Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds)]
Hermione is visiting Dumbledore’s office for her Prefect badge and an overview of the position while Ron and Harry are brooding in their room. The three of them have become far closer than normal lately, and she’s almost glad to be away for a moment, as they’ve always been more honest with each other when she isn’t around. She can’t decide if that bothers her or not.
She’s waiting for Dumbledore to get there when she hears, “Miss Granger, correct?” in a slow, molasses drawl.
She looks up at the portrait labelled Severus Snape and answers the boy in the Slytherin tie, “Yes. Hello, Mr. Snape.”
Severus grins slowly, a cat-like expression of amusement and carefully calculated arrogance. “Smart one, aren’t you?” He asks, and she nods. He clicks his tongue. “Should’ve been in Ravenclaw.”
She flushes and opens her mouth to retort when the Sorting Hat starts shouting about insecure fuckwads who don’t know their place and Severus starts screaming back about it not doing its fucking job right until finally Hermione screams, “STOP!”
The hat grumbles off to sleep again while she stares a shocked Severus down, her shaking hands curled in fists as she says, “Please don’t shout at it. It’s tired.”
Severus raises an eyebrow, but huffs and turns away. She sees his blank arm as he turns his back to her and feels her heart break open with pity.
“You’re Harry’s father, right?” She asks softly, and his head whips towards her in shock. She offers a sad smile and explains, “Lily and James. There are no records, of course, but…”
“You’re Mcgonogall’s favorite,” Severus finishes, smiling wryly. “Yes. I am one of Harry’s fathers.”
Hermione nods, looking down at her books, and swallows before looking back up again to say, “He really loves you.”
Severus rears back in shock, his eyes searching her for lies as she tears up. “He really does. You may not know it, and he doesn’t speak of it, but - but I can tell. He misses you.”
Severus’ eyes turn dull and glassy and he turns away, hiding his face with his long shaggy hair. Hermione swallows down her tears, smiling again. “Yes, well -”
“I love him too,” Severus interrupts, voice soft. “I miss him too. We all do. Tell… tell him that, would you?”
Hermione blinks, then nods.
“Of course,” she says, ducking her head as the staircase starts to rumble. “I’ll take good care of him, sir.”
Severus smiles that sad wry smile again and stills just as Dumbledore steps through the door, but Hermione hears his silence echo in her ears.
Thank you.
SEVEN: Remus Lupin (Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom) & Luna Lovegood [Seventh Year - Dynasty (MIIA), Towards The Sun (Rihanna)]
As the war comes closer and closer to Hogwarts, the students there grow more and more anxious. Luna herself takes refuge in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, where only Harry and Ginny know to find her. But with Harry on the run with Ron and Hermione and Ginny trying to hold down the fort with Seamus and Dean, Luna often finds herself alone.
One day she decides to make her way up onto the balcony over the classroom that leads to the office, and she reaches for the knob on the office door when she hears, “Don’t go in there, Miss Lovegood.”
She looks over at the portrait who’s spoken, dubbed Remus Lupin, and smiles. He smiles kindly back and asks, “What are you even looking for?”
Luna shrugs. “Some way to help, I guess.”
Remus smiles wryly and nods, glancing down at the wedding ring adorning his finger. His smile softens for a moment before he says, “Sometimes, Miss Lovegood, the best way to win a war is by treating others with kindness.”
Luna tilts her head to the side. “Like, with hugs and smiles?” She asks, and Remus smiles, biting his lip and nodding. His eyes are glassy, but she pretends not to notice.
“Yes, my dear, with hugs and smiles. Support each other. Take no conversation for granted. Merlin knows the only thing that comforted me in the first war was the constant reminders that I still had my family. That they were fighting with me, and that I was fighting for them.”
Luna nods sagely and looks down at the bracelets littering her wrists, each one made for a different person in her life: Ginny, her girlfriend; Harry, her partner; Neville, her best friend; Draco and Ron and Hermione, her friends. She asks, “What comforted you when you died? I know… I know it wasn’t fast. Or painless.”
Remus smiles, his eyes shining with kindness and hope despite the exhausted bruises beneath them and the scars across his face.
“I wasn’t alone,” he answers, his voice soft. “I died by Sirius’ side. I was holding his hand when I saw the light. And in the light there were silhouettes - James, Peter, Lily, Severus, Regulus. They were waiting for us. And I knew we would be okay.”
Luna nods. She twists a ring on her finger and says, “Thank you, Mr. Lupin. I’d best be going now.”
Remus nods as she begins to descend the steps, his voice ringing out one last time, “Good luck, Luna. I hope to Merlin your victory will be more permanent than ours.”
Luna twirls around, cocking her head as she asks, “You think we’ll win?” Remus smiles.
He nods, his eyes twinkling, and says, “Someone has to. Why not you?”
ONE: All Together Again (Grimmauld Place, Harry & Ron & Hermione’s Bedroom)  & Harry Potter [After Graduation of Eighth Year - Daylight (Taylor Swift)]
Following the end of the war, Harry moves into Grimmauld Place, left to him by the godfather he never knew. He takes Hermione and Ron with him, the three of them having been in a committed relationship since sometime when they were on the run and following an unspoken agreement that they will follow each other anywhere.
Luna lives nearby with Ginny, in an apartment by Draco’s little cottage and Neville’s tiny hovel. The three of them live quietly, though their friends visit often. Harry feels better, happier, though the hole left by his missing family is still there.
One day, as he’s putting up pictures of him and his partners around their shared bedroom, he hears, “Harry?”
He looks up, and there, on the opposite wall, is a picture of the seven Marauders, all young and staring at him in shock. Harry tears up and rushes over, taking the picture delicately in his hands and smiling as he rakes his eyes over his lost family. They all grin back, and Harry reads the inscription on the frame: My dear Marauders, You have been my pride and joy for seven long short years. I know you will all do great things; I cannot wait to see what you accomplish. You are, and have always been, my favorite students. All my love, Minnie.
Harry covers his mouth, emotional, until finally James asks, “Are you happy?”
Harry looks at Remus and Sirius, their fingers intertwined and their eyes sparkling. He looks at Regulus and Peter, their arms around each other’s shoulders as they grin. He looks at Severus and Lily and James, his three wonderful parents. And he looks down at the two wedding rings on the chain around his own neck, bearing the initials R.W. and H.G.. And he nods.
“Yeah,” he answers, grinning. “Yeah, I’m really fucking happy.”
65 notes · View notes
beeexx · 3 years
Text
The missing Tarlos scenes from 2x06
Word count: 4.8    Read on ao3
.......
“You know you need to tell him this, right?”
“No, no, I really don’t.” TK protests loudly, by banging the frozen bag of chickens into the counter, hoping they will shake loose with the excess force he is using. Carlos lifts an eyebrow from where he is standing in boxers and an old tank top, too much skin on display for it to be good for TK’s health, cutting onions into small, stupidly neat pieces on the chopping board. 
“TK….” Carlos begins, in that voice of his and TK turns around, eyes flashing.
“Carlos.” 
Carlos huffs.
“Babe, this is clearly bothering you, and taking it out on our poor dinner isn’t ideal.” He points out.
“Oh, sure Carlos, I’ll just tell my dad that him having another kid is a terrible idea because I’m a prime example of how they messed up with the first one.”
“TK…” 
“Oh and while I’m at it I might as well bring up how I am feeling about it and make it all about myself like I always do, that ought to go down really well.” He snaps and Carlos sighs. 
“You don’t make everything about yourself.” TK lifts an eyebrow and Carlos snorts. “Okay, sometimes you do, but often not without a legit reason and this is definitely a situation I feel you’re entitled to feel whatever it is that you’re really feeling and express that.” 
“Okay, well if we’re on the subject of telling parents what we really think then why don’t you take a page out of your own book and tell your parents that you have a boyfriend, oh, or better yet, the way you’ve been feeling for years about them refusing to acknowledge that you’re gay.” As soon as the words leave his mouth TK regrets them and he winces at the wounded look Carlos sends his way at his harsh words.
Fuck. 
“That’s not the same thing.” Carlos mutters, he sounds bitter about it and were it not for the deeply thoughtful look also making its way across his features TK would take the words back immediately.
“I could have gone about that differently, sorry…. But, but isn’t that exactly the same thing as this is though.” 
“We were talking about you.” Carlos points out in an attempt to deflect and TK just chooses to let it go because he doesn’t have the energy to have an argument about two different things at the moment. His head is enough of a mess as it is. 
“My point still stands, talking to your parents about all the ways they have hurt you is fucking hard, okay?”
“Yes, okay I will agree with you on that.”
“And if you really want to make this all about me this time then fine. Try telling my dad, Owen Strand, Captain of the 126, adored by his crew, envied by even more, hero, cancer survivor, the list could go on for a long time Carlos, yes try telling that person that oh yeah by the way dad you neglected me as a child and now I have both abandonment issues, self esteem issues and a constant fear that no one is ever going to love me because I am not worthy of it, that will go down real well.” 
He hits the bag three more times against the counter and lets out a triumphant sound as the frozen chickens finally rattle loose inside and he turns to hold it up to Carlos, a sly little smile at the corner of his lip, because his tactic did work even though Carlos had doubted it would. Carlos isn’t smiling though, he’s frowning, concern written all over his face, eyebrows pinched together and TK drops the bag in confusion.
“What?”
Carlos puts the knife down and takes the bag from TK, throwing it lazily, without looking in the direction of the kitchen sink before he steps up close, wrapping his arms around TK and pulling him close. TK lets out a huff of air, taken aback by the fierceness of the action. 
“I hate it when you do this to yourself…” Carlos starts and TK sighs, wraps his arms around him back and nods against Carlos’ neck, can’t help but breathe him in, feeling the calming effect of it already working through his system. 
“Sorry.”
“No, no don’t apologise.” Carlos leans back and TK looks up to meet his stormy eyes. He opens his mouth but he isn’t sure what to say. 
“I love you, okay? So much and I wish I could hit that into your thick skull sometimes but I can’t, so I’m just going to have to spend every day in this relationship proving that you are indeed worthy of love and no past damage or mistakes will change that, okay?” TK can only nod, his throat suddenly thick with emotions he doesn’t know how to express.
“With that said, you’re not very good at keeping things bottled up, especially not for a long time and especially not something this big, so you should probably really think about what you actually feel about this whole situation before you choose to do that.”
“Judd said I was jealous.”
“Jealous?”
“Yeah, something about me wanting to push the baby down a well or something because I couldn’t handle not being the only child anymore.”
“He said what now?” TK chuckles at Carlos’ incredulous look and he shrugs.
“It was some biblical reference I don’t know. Prodigal son?” 
“Oh, like Cain and Abel, like a lesser known older brother and the jealousy that stems from it because it’s natural to resent the baby because you’re scared it’s going to take your place.” Realisation dawns on Carlos’ face and his eyes light up like they always do when he gets to talk about things he knows, which at times is a surprisingly big amount of random shit.
“Yeah, yeah, exactly that.” TK says sarcastically, gives Carlos a curious look.
“What? I read.” He shrugs and smirks proudly. TK hums. ”Well Judd is good at a lot of things, maybe giving advice isn’t his forte.”
“And yours is?” TK lifts a challenging eyebrow. 
“I am an excellent advice giver, I’ll have you know. The issue isn’t me, the issue is everyone else and no one listening to what I’m saying.”
“Oh, so you have a lot of experience then, giving advice?” TK bites down his smile as Carlos glares without heat.
“I chased Michelle around for years when she was getting in trouble searching for her sister. I definitely have a lot of experience.” TK chuckles and leans up to kiss his nose. It wrinkles adorably and TK’s heart tugs in his chest. He loves Carlos so much.
“I love you too, so much. And I’m sorry for bringing up your parents again, that wasn’t nice of me.” TK apologizes and Carlos nods and watches back with quiet brown intense eyes.
“It’s okay, you were right though.” He grudgingly admits. 
“Maybe, but there is no pressure, as I’ve said you can take all the time in the world that you need to figure it out and I’ll support you either way.” He promises and Carlos gives him a soft beautiful smile.
“Thanks.” Carlos whispers, grateful and TK nods, and gently starts scraping his knuckles against Carlos’ scalp, pulling at his curls in a way that makes his face soften immediately, eyes falling shut in contentment and his arms tighten around TK, breathing heavily. His reaction tells TK that Carlos feels really comforted by the way he is touching him and that he needed it more than he let on.
TK has always responded well to touch, Carlos picked up on that a lot quicker than most, but it’s also not uncommon for Carlos to like it as well. He just doesn’t always express it, so TK’s taken to doing it when he senses it’s something Carlos needs, while not always being aware of it himself. It’s these small gestures TK’s learnt, that you do for the other person and that they do for you that love really is. 
Carlos’ eyes are closed and he’s letting out soft sounds of pleasure, it’s distracting as hell, and it’s making it even more difficult being this close to him and not kissing him, so TK does because he feels he can’t not do it, and angles Carlos’ head down and captures his lips in a searing hot kiss. As always when they kiss like this, starting out soft, but then growing with intention and heat, the slowburn of arousal starts to make its way through his veins, electric energy flooding his system. Only Carlos has this effect on him. 
When Carlos reaches to grab at his hair and then bites at his lip it makes TK whine and chase after him when he moves back. 
“Dinner, remember?” Carlos reminds him, but with his curls standing up unruly and his pupils dark with want, it’s very hard for TK to remember the reason why he can’t skip dinner all together and eat Carlos out instead. Carlos huffs and his hands tighten around his sides like he can read TK’s mind.
“After dinner.”
“Is that a promise?” TK asks slyly. 
“Yes.” Carlos reassures and the slow self satisfied grin tugging at his lips is fucking obscene and TK cheekily grabs his ass in retaliation. Carlos knows the effect he has on him. 
“You know cooking in boxers can be a fire hazard.” He points out.
“Good thing I know an excellent firefighter then.” He says and kisses TK hard on the lips before he steps away, walking back to his mostly finished chopped up onions, giving TK a very nice view of his ass in the black tight boxers he’s wearing. God, his boyfriend is hot as fuck.
The rest of the evening is so nice in fact that for a moment he doesn’t think about his parents or the baby, or anything other than how much he loves Carlos and how lucky he is to really have him in his life.
…….
TK unlocks the door to Carlos’ place, throws the bag towards what he hopes is the direction of the shoes, and puts his keys down in the bowl by the door, where Carlo’s are already lying. He steps inside and almost jumps out of skin when he sees his boyfriend sitting on the stairs, frowning and very clearly waiting for him. Most of the lights are off and it casts his features into stunning relief, even when angry, Carlos is too good looking for his own good.
“So, you heard?” TK gulps and Carlos nods.
“Yes, yes I did hear, from the group chat, but not just that, every goddamn news station in the state is covering how two firefighters jumped through a minefield to save two boys that were hurt.”
“Well, only one of them was hurt.” TK shuts his mouth when Carlos levels him with a deeply unimpressed look and he takes a slow step forward and tries again.
“In my defense, I am certified and I was qualified to do it.” TK stops, draws in a sharp breath, backtracks. “Are you mad?” 
Carlos lets out a deep breath, and his features soften slightly before he shakes his head, scrubs a hand through his face and when he looks up his eyes are wide and sad.
“No, no, of course I’m not mad. Just extremely worried.”
“Oh?” TK asks, feels confused, scrambling to catch up with the change, having been expecting that Carlos would be upset with him. Carlos huffs and opens his arms and it’s all TK needs for him to take a few steps forward before he sits down between Carlos’ legs, wrapping his arms around his neck, pulling him close. Carlos plants a kiss in his hair, and tightens his grip around TK, almost unconsciously starts stroking his hands down his back and TK lets him, can’t push away the guilt that’s come on so strong, mixing badly with the elevation he’s also feeling after the day he’s had. But when his boyfriend reacts like this it can’t help but leave an acid taste in his mouth too.
“I’m not sure whether I want to never let you leave my arms ever again or brag to everyone that I am for sure dating a hero.” Carlos says and were it not for the slight tremor of his voice that he tries to conceal, TK would laugh. 
“I wouldn’t mind never leaving your arms.” He admits because it sounds appealing, especially now, when adrenaline is starting to make way to exhaustion instead. 
Carlos huffs. 
“You’d get bored after a day or two.” He points out and TK shakes his head.
“You underestimate the excellent sex we do have, I’m sure I could be convinced for three days or so.” Carlos laughs, but then one of his hands wrap around TK’s wrist, feeling out his pulse, comforted by the steady thumping of it. TK lets him, allowing himself after the hectic day he’s had to tuck his face into the crook of Carlos’ shoulder and neck to breathe him in. They both have different ways of calming themselves down when the other one is near and on certain days they need it a little more than on others. 
“Your pulse is beating insanely quick.” Carlos points out after a while and TK hums against Carlos’ neck, gives himself a moment before he detaches himself slightly so he can look at him. 
“Adrenaline.” He shows Carlos his hand that’s still trembling slightly and Carlos’ eyebrow pinch in concern.
“I’m sorry -” TK begins because he really does hate it when Carlos is sad but Carlos shakes his head and interrupts. 
“No, no, this is on me. I know you have a dangerous job that sometimes requires that you take risks, I just wish they didn't have to be this big, a minefield, that’s just insane.” TK nods, he understands.
“But also really cool.” He can’t help but let slip out, eyes alive in excitement and smirking. Carlos snorts and pokes his nose, a little hard maybe, but only a little.
“Yes and designed to give me a goddamn heart attack, you know I’m not even 30, by this rate I’ll be going grey before I hit 35.” He points out, gives TK a look that speaks volumes about how offended Carlos seems to be over that. He laughs and reaches for Carlos’ hair, tugging gently on it.
“I think you’d suit grey really well to be fair.” Carlos wrinkles his nose in distaste and it’s so adorable that he can’t help but laugh again and Carlos distaste slowly melts into something much softer and he sticks his tongue out instead like a mature 26 year old that he is. “And if we’re pointing fingers, remember that hostage situation a while back where an office was shot and I thought it was you because you wouldn’t answer your phone?” Carlos winces and he looks momentarily guilty about that because TK had been so fucking worried he could barely even do his job that day and when Carlos hadn’t answered by the time they were both off shift TK had lost it a little bit. 
“Not my finest moment.” Carlos admits.
“No, so don’t go pointing fingers.” But he’s mostly joking even though that day had been scary as fuck, he so very much understands Carlos’ worry today, he really does. Carlos hums.
“How was it then?” He asks and TK bites at his lip, trying to figure out how to word everything. He turns towards Carlos and sits up on his knees, bringing him eyelevel with him and wraps his arms around his neck. Immediately Carlos’ hands come to rest on his waist, his fingers slipping underneath TK’s jumper to trace skin. 
“It was incredible, well the minefield aside which was scary for sure, but after that I’ve been feeling like I’ve been on this incredibly long lasting high ever since.” Carlos lifts an eyebrow at the metaphor and TK shrugs sheepishly. 
“Yeah, but it’s an apt metaphor for the feeling. I guess I haven’t felt good like that in a while.”
“No?” Carlos asks and there is no trace of judgement or anything in his voice, just kind and curious eyes looking at him. TK nods.
“The only other times I’ve felt this kind of high is you know actually getting high and when I’m with you, I guess the job’s been missing that spark for a while.” Carlos smiles and leans forward to plant a kiss on his nose.
“I’m not totally sure about comparing this relationship to a high.” He points out and TK snorts.
“I’m not, I’m comparing the feeling. Being with you is like pure happiness you know? I feel, just, like I’ve never felt before and even when it’s tough it’s worth it because I love you so much and I know deep down that you love me too and I never don’t want to spend my time with you, so yeah, the feeling is addictive for sure. I really just love you.” He goes quiet and Carlos' eyes have softened and he’s met by a look of pure love and a breathtakingly beautiful smile breaks across Carlos’ face before he pulls TK close and kisses him softly and slowly, making TK’s toes curl inside of his shoes. 
“Fuck.” Carlos whispers against his lips. “I love you too, so much.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Carlos says with adoring eyes and voice full of love before he runs his hand through TK’s hair and gently pulls him close, kissing him hard on his lips again. It’s TK who pulls back though making Carlos lift an eyebrow in surprise because it’s unexpected for TK to be the one to do this, so before TK can chicken out he blurts out the words.
“But I might have done something stupid…”
“Oh?” Carlos asks, amusement dancing in his eyes like he’s totally expecting it. 
“Yeah, I might have handed in my resume to Vega for the position to become a paramedic.” He rushes the words out, hates the silence between them and can’t help but feel ridiculously nervous all of a sudden waiting for Carlos' reaction. Carlos opens and closes his mouth a few times then shakes his head.
“Okay, wait, I think you need to back up a few steps here so I can follow.” He says, confusion evident in his eyes. But he’s giving TK an encouraging look at TK takes in a deep breath.
“The minefield was not fun and the thought of what could have happened to me and my dad while out there was really scary. I’m not trying to take massive risks anymore, not when I have you to come home to.” Carlos smiles, lovingly, and gives him an encouraging look spurring TK on. “But I knew someone had to get to the kid and with the help of my dad and Vega that I could do something about it, so I volunteered. And the elevation afterwards, that all came from saving the kid. It just… it felt really good to save someone, to be the one to actually do it.” TK confesses loudly for the first time since his shift ended and he in the spur of the moment added his name to the pile in Vega’s office, and saying it makes him feel a little calmer than he has ever since walking off the field. 
“Oh, okay.” Carlos says, not fully understanding yet what TK is trying to say, and yet being so patient with him, waiting for TK to figure it out. 
“I don’t know, I sometimes feel like I’m not doing enough in the field, like I could do more... and while I also know that’s not the case because every day we all go out in the field doing our best together. But I think I’ve been carrying this with me for a while now, it’s just that this year has been a lot, and even when there is a pandemic going on people still forget to turn their stove off, and they get into car accidents or have their cats escape up in trees unable to come down. The world hasn’t stopped, it’s been moving and I’ve been moving with it without having the time to reflect a lot on myself and the job. But today, I don’t know, I felt like something just clicked while out there and when I could really help him...I guess, I really liked doing it.” TK blushes because he’s been ranting and he’s averted his eyes but they move back to Carlos by their own accord and Carlos’ eyes have cleared from all earlier confusion, instead understanding has taken over and he nods his head thoughtfully.
“And that’s why you handed in your resume? Because you want to continue doing it?” Carlos fills in and TK nods biting his lip.
“D-do you… Do you think it’s a good idea?”
“It’s not up to me to tell you what to do babe, but you know what?”
“What?” TK asks, hanging onto every word he’s saying. 
“I think you’d be good at it.”
“Yeah?” He asks, hopeful, and Carlos smiles.
“Of course, you’d be amazing at it, if it’s what you want.”
“It is yes, it’s what I want.” TK says with certainty. It’s just clicked, like all that has been shaking loose and upended recently inside of him finally settle a little more.
“Then yes, it’s an amazing idea. You’re going to be so good.” Carlos grins and TK melts because while he doesn’t depend on Carlos’ approval for this it’s so nice to see him be actually happy for him.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Carlos promises and TK releases the breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding and his own face breaks into a relieved smile. 
“I think I could be good at it too.” He confesses a little shyly and Carlos beams and pulls TK slightly forward, his forehead resting on his and everything just settles for TK because nothing beats this, nothing beats Carlos. 
“I’m proud of you.” Carlos says and TK can’t bite down the smile. But it falls off his face after a moment and he moves back, looks a little unsure again.
“I might have done something else that wasn’t very smart.” Carlos huffs, lifts an eyebrow, so ever patient with him.
“What did you do now?”
“I didn’t tell my dad…” He trails off and Carlos grimaces but then a look of determination takes over and he shrugs before he gently grasps TK’s face between his hands, stroking a thumb lovingly along his cheek.
“Well, you know what I think?” TK shakes his head. “I think it’s not any of his business really.”  
That surprises TK to be honest and he lifts an eyebrow.
“W-what? I mean really?”
“Yeah, I mean maybe you should have told him before you just went and did it, but it’s your life and not his. And as long as you’re not doing it for someone else then it’s not really his choice to make.”
“I’m doing it for me, it’s what I want.” Carlos’ lip lifts in a proud smile and he nods.
“Good.”
“But, what if he’s not happy?”
“I don’t think he will be unhappy, maybe a little surprised and maybe give him a moment. But if he knows you like I do, then he will realise it’s a good thing.”
“Okay, I hope so.” TK musters up a wane smile, still can’t push away the spikes of anxiety about the conversation he’s going to have to have with his dad. But it can wait, for a little while at least. 
“You know Vega is going to bust your ass right?” Carlos jokes, eyes full of mirth, smirking and TK snorts.
“Yeah, yeah I know.”
“I remember when Michelle started training under her, the stories she would tell me, Vega is badass and she taught Michelle who is also a badass, I’m expecting she’s going to do the same to you.”
“I’m already a badass.” TK reminds him and Carlos chuckles. 
“True, I think she will do you some good though. Challenge you and allow you to really thrive under her, she has that effect on people.” TK nods.
“It’s a tough job…”
“Yeah, but as you said, you’re already a badass, you’re going to do great.”
“It will be nice to be the paramedic, rather than calling one.” TK says and it grows a little more serious between them. 
“I mean -” TK clears his throat at Carlos’ silence. “I have experience of being on the other end and I know what it’s like being helped. I guess a part of me is looking forward to doing the helping.”
“I see, well you care so much about people and if you get a chance to show that, to show them this.” Carlos' hands move to cover TK’s heart and it flutters in his chest, warmth spreading to every cell of his body and he smiles shyly. “Then, well, you’re going to be very good at it.” TK bites his lip and nods.
“It feels… I don’t know, just right.”
“Good, that’s amazing.” TK doesn’t know what to say but he’s grateful, more than how he knows to express at the moment but in the way Carlo’s face softens, maybe he can read between the lines.
“Have you talked to Owen about the baby yet?” TK groans, can’t help but glare, the moment between them broken suddenly, like a bucket of ice cold water has been thrown at him, and he moves his head away, hiding in the crook of Carlos’ shoulder and neck and nibbles at his skin making Carlos chuckle, twitching in his arms.
“No, not yet…” He says though, voice muffled by Carlos’ skin. 
“Well, do you want to talk about it?” TK sighs but takes his head away and meets Carlos’ eyes. 
“I feel… I mean I am happy for them of course but...” He bites at his lip, hard and Carlos reaches forward with his thumb to gently stroke it over the swollen redness making TK stop the action. He takes in a deep breath instead.
“But they always do this, and I don’t even think they are realising it, but they get so single-minded and focused on themselves that they forget everything else. The fighting isn’t fun, I’ve been in the middle of it and I know how lonely and unwanted you can feel when it happens. What they’re doing, it feels like they are just falling into the same patterns as before without even realising that they are, and it’s not going to last if they do it that way.” 
Carlos looks thoughtful and TK feels annoyed and frustrated because he can’t help but think it makes his parents feel so irresponsible and it’s hard to come to terms with that because his parents in their own right are extremely competent people, it’s just when together, they aren’t always. 
“I support you, I always will and your feelings here are valid and to be worried is honestly a sign of growth.” Carlos begins.
“Oh, you're calling me mature, that’s unusual.” TK jokes, changing the subject.
“I mean you’re definitely a hot mess, a terrible terrible driver for sure.” Carlos easily fires back.
“God, did Judd text you?”
“And filmed some of it. This is why I’m never letting you drive my baby.”
“Hold on, I thought I was your baby, and here I find out you have someone else on the side?” Carlos’ arms tighten around him, biting his lip, the smile threatening to take over. 
“What can I say, I really like that car and I paid a lot of money for it.”
“It’s a terrible car for making out in.” TK reminds him and Carlos smirks, reminded of the few times they’ve gotten frisky in it. 
“True, still not letting you drive it.” He teases and TK glares. 
“Rude.”
“Maybe, but I care too much about the possibility of my greying hairs to get here sooner than I’d like to, to get into a car where you are driving us.”
“Well I might be a paramedic soon, so at least you'd be with someone where your odds are fractionally better if you were to get in an accident.”
“Still not letting you drive it Strand.”
“Worth a shot.” TK laughs and Carlos smiles.
“So, do you want dinner or?”
TK shakes his head.
“No, I’m good, but I’m getting too old to sit on my knees like this.” He grumbles and shifts to get the blood running again. Carlos chuckles and makes it all the easier by just scooping him up in his arms. TK yelps and Carlos grins, delighted by the sound. TK wraps his legs around Carlos’ waist, tightens his arms around his neck.
“Please don’t drop me.” 
“Wouldn’t dream of it baby.” Carlos reassures grinningly. “So, bed?”
“Bed.” TK agrees.
He lets Carlos carry him up the stairs and into the bedroom, feeling so safe in his arms, that whatever conversation that’s waiting for him tomorrow with his dad, doesn’t matter as much anymore.
102 notes · View notes
ouyangzizhensdad · 4 years
Note
people say mdzs is bury your gays???? what??? do they realize who the book is about ?
I know 😔 but yeah I’ve seen it, generally in anti-mxtx posts explaining why she’s supposedly a homophobe*. And I don’t know what annoys me more about it: 
the lack of understanding of what the bury your gay trope stems from, politically and historically, and how it became pervasive in Hollywood and in the West because of Hollywood and thus why it is not a trope in China where homosexuality is wholesale fucking censored so, no, you won’t get around the censorship by making them tragic or villains......? (and if someone’s going to argue that China was exposed to these tropes through Hollywood movies.... I’ll have to beg them to just........ learn anything about the Chinese media landscape in the 20th century..... at this point....... anything will do................ like read any book about the politics of media in China...... for real........read a book about the politics of media in China challenge........read an academic book about media analysis  instead of getting your critical chops only from tumblr-dot-com challenge.........)
how it throws the baby with the bathwater. Like, sure there is a pervasive legacy of western movies and tv show senselessly killing queer characters because they seem not to know what to do with them otherwise or a tendency only for movies/tv shows with dead queer protagonists to be received well critically/receive adequate funding for a good quality production, but why should that mean that (apparently) queer characters should never die, ever, for any reasons, otherwise the people involved are homophobic (even when those are true stories or based on true stories). 
how it ignores the way in which MXY’s death is tied thematically to the death of many, many het characters (he’s one of the many many victims of both JGY’s thirst for power and social status, and NHS’s blind and bloody quest for retribution instead of justice) as well as how the novel highlights and criticizes how the social perception of homosexuality and his treatment by others made him an easier target and victim. 
how they’re accusing the author of using that trope in a romance book about a dude coming back from the dead and ending up happily married with another dude, and also they have a sort-of adopted son. 
* Look, here’s the thing: the same way we cannot presume that MXTX is straight, we cannot presume that she is not homophobic. I’ve never met her and I don’t know her, and so, who knows, right? I’ve not read everything she’s ever sent into the ethernet, all I’ve read are her three books. I can’t vouch for her and that’s not the point when responding to accusations that she is. That’s because the arguments people have so far raised to suggest that she is, the “proof” they’ve found in one or numerous of her novels, have all been either tenuous, deeply western-centric, demonstrated either a lack of understanding of the theories and concepts they wage or a will to misunderstand and see malicious intent from MXTX in totally inconspicuous or thematically-motivated choices, or showed that the person leveraging this critique does not seem to interact often or intimately with real, actual gay men, especially GNC or fem gay men? So for now, no, I won’t call her a homophobe, lmao.....
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wolfstarlibrarian · 4 years
Note
you may have made this list before, and if so, sorry!!! but do you have a list of YOUR favourite fics?! would love to see one if you haven't already! once again sorry if this has been done before, and your work is greatly appreciated!!! xx
Hello kind friend! The Librarian has a lot of trouble picking favorites, but has done a fic bingo before, so let’s do another! The previous list is linked above the bingo card. 
Favorite Fic Bingo 1
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Favorite Fic Bingo 2
Middle column, top to bottom. 
A fic you’ve reread several times: To not list this fic for this square would be a lie. When you read it, it surpasses all the hype you’ve heard about it, and that level of quality is why it’s been listed on MANY lists in the library. 
How Remus Got His Groove Back by @theprongsletthatlived
After two years of noncommittal sex: Remus tells Sirius that he loves him. Sirius firmly rejects him. Remus tries to move on. Sirius is not happy. OR Remus Lupin becomes king of the cockroaches, Fabian Prewett writes a book, Gilderoy Lockhart is a catfish, and Sirius Black realizes he's a fucking idiot.
A fic you associate with a song: It feels like the fandom is going crazy for this fic, and for good reason. Did it make the Librarian want to dance along? Did tender moments bring happy tears? Does it make you fall in love with Cuban Sirius? Yes, yes, and yes. 
Be My Baby by @remus-john-lupin
It’s the summer of 1963, and 18 year old Remus Lupin discovers dance, love, and even himself. (A very romantic and very gay Dirty Dancing AU.)
Free space: This fic is incredibly sweet with characterizations that you’re sure to fall in love with and writing so beautiful, it makes you feel like you’re surrounded by the magic of their love. 
Young Hearts Intertwined by @goodboylupin
There’s a special kind of magic to a wartime wedding.
A fic that you would read a fic of: This fic is mostly pre-slash and it’s kind, a unique AU, and such a delight that a follow-up would be an incredible delight.
Lost in Translation by Phiso
Sirius Black is a traveler who enjoys a challenge. Little does he know when he boards a ship to Newfoundland, he'll find his toughest challenge in a crew member called Remus Lupin.
A favorite AU: Coffeeshop AU + “Enemies” to lovers?! This is a two for one deal that will have you laughing and falling in love at the same time.
Brewed Awakenings by @kattlupin
Remus Lupin, the owner of a small coffee shop, Wolfsbane Coffee & Tea, was content in his life as a small business owner. He has friends and loyal customers within his community and an expert baker, Lily Evans to help keep his business better than the rest. All is well, until another coffee shop opens across the street. The owners, the Marauding pair, James Potter and Sirius Black.
Hope you find some new fics in here to love!
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Our First Meeting
Paring: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes
Warnings: Swear words, Period Homophobia (nothing major, but Bucky does have some homophobic thoughts towards himself)
A/N: First chapter of Ancient History! This is a series that I wrote for @the-marvel-horniest-book-club and its sister blogs Week of Love Challenge. The way I wrote it is when Bucky and Steve are telling Peter their story, we see it from their POV. Like The Princess Bride, or How I Met Your Mother. I had such a fun time writing this and I hope that y’all will like it!
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“And so, as ‘The Valkyrie’ made its fast descent into the Arctic Ocean, Captain Steve Rogers lowered the plane into the ocean, saving humanity from the treacherous plans of the Red Skull. Captain Rogers’ sacrifice cost him everything, choosing to leave behind the love of his life, his fiancée Peggy Carter, and their unborn baby. Sadly, losing the love of her life caused Agent Carter to miss carriage, losing the last surviving piece of Captain Rogers. But, as you know, the story doesn’t end there,” the school bell rings, cutting off Ms. Lund, Peter Parker’s American history teacher. Filing out of the over cramped room, Peter is left speechless. He couldn’t mention anything in class, but he thought he knew his Uncle Steve. Losing a child would affect him, right? Steve would have said something. Walking home, Peter decided to make a quick pit stop at the Avenger’s compound, where Steve and Bucky were enjoying their retirement. Sending a quick text to Aunt May letting her know he wouldn’t be home for dinner, Peter quickly slung his way over.
Peter found Steve and Bucky in the living room, Steve playing Mario Karts (he picked up a love for the game in his retirement, don’t blame the man, okay?) while Bucky read some weird book in Russian.
“You!” Peter points at Steve, “you have a lot of explaining to do! I thought we were family! But I had to find out from my freaking history teacher that you and Peggy were engaged and you were having a baby together?” Flopping down on the couch, Peter stares Steve down, his eyes showing how truly hurt the kid was.
“I… What?” Pausing his game, Steve looks up from his game confused. And Peter, crossing his arms, shakes his head. “Don’t lie to me! I thought we were close!” And sure, Peter knows he’s probably acting like a baby, but Peter’s pain is genuine. Steve was the first one to know about his crush on MJ, even helped him plan their first date. After Tony died, Steve became his father figure, someone he looked up to and tried to emulate.
“No, you just caught me off guard Petey. God, is that what they are teaching these days? No, I’m… Peggy and I…” Bucky cuts Steve’s floundering.
“He’s gay Peter, not bi or pan, gay. He likes dick, more specifically mine.” Steve blushes as he reprimands Bucky.
“Jesus, Buck, language! He’s still a kid! But he’s right Peter. I’m gay, I’ve always have been, and I always knew it too. Peggy and I were just really good friends. God, they’re saying I had a kid with Pegs, can you believe it, Buck?”
“Yeah, I can, actually. The government loves to erase me from your, our story.” The bitterness and hurt in Bucky’s voice don't go unnoticed by Steve or Peter. “For fuck’s sake, they’re still pushing this bullshit Americana nuclear family. We’re not in the ’30s! Instead of giving the kids hope, that their sexuality can’t limit their dreams, no keep on pushing this shit!” A heavy silence blankets the room. Bucky’s anger is still fuming in him. And in traditional Peter fashion, he butts in.
“Well, I’d like to know your story! We have to give a presentation on you, Steve, and well I know it’s just one classroom in Queens, but I’d like to tell your story. And I’d love to see my teacher try to correct me. I’ll just show her my Works Cited page. Two resources, Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes.” Steve, smiling at Peter, takes Bucky’s hand in his, rubbing over the vibranium band.
“What’d you say Bucky, do you want our story to be told?”
Putting the book down, Bucky cuddles up next to Steve as he turns to Peter.
“Buckle up, spidey. Our story is a long one.”
----- The last thing that Bucky wanted to do after moving halfway across the country at the start of the Great Depression was to go to mass. Hell, his family wasn’t even Catholic, but the way his Ma saw it was they could take any additional help they could get. And if that meant listening to some Catholic priest ramble on about the virtues of Saint Peter, then so be it. Even if Bucky complained the entire walk to the small chapel.
See Bucky wasn’t that religious. He believed that there had to be some sort of God, a purpose as to why we were all here. But he never once thought about becoming a catholic. So while the Father was rambling on about the lessons we could learn from Mary Magdalene, all Bucky wanted to do was go home and have some lunch. Bored, Bucky decides he’s going to play some people watching. Looking around, he sees the usual church suspects. Stuffy old ladies in godawful hats. Even his people-watching is getting boring. That is until he sees him. A boy, probably close to his age, 15 or 16 max, but small for his age. He had the most beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes. Bucky’s heart is racing, as he tries to push the thoughts in his head away. Recently he’s been having inappropriate thoughts about some of the boys at school. As his friends would go on and on about the gals they fancied, Bucky’s heart was set on the wrong gender. Or at least that is what he was taught to learn.
“Now brothers and sisters, the sister of the covenant prepared a light luncheon that’ll be served outside!” Father O’Malley’s booming voice broke Bucky out of his thinking. Getting up, he turns to his ma.
“I saw a boy that’s my age. Can I go talk to him?” Winnie simply nods as she frets over Becca’s dress. That girl could ruin any dress. Bucky wades through the crowd of people and finally makes it out to the church patio where he sees the blondie, alone on a bench, drawing.
Mustering up all the courage he has, Bucky steps up in front of the boy. “Hi, I’m Bucky. Family just moved here.” Blondie, as Bucky dubbed the boy in his mind, looks up. And god, those blue eyes were so much brighter up close.
“I’m Steve,” smiling at Bucky he motions to the empty space next to him. “Care to sit? My ma went to get some food. I don’t have many friends, as you could probably tell.” Bucky chuckles softly.
“I don’t either. Guess we can be each other’s friends.”
Something there clicked inside of Bucky. He finally understood what the other boys felt when they talked about their crush. Heart pounding and sweaty palms, as he tried to make sure he made a good first impression. He imagined going on dates with Steve, giving him the world. But Bucky knew he couldn’t have those things. He couldn’t take Steve out dancing, or on a date. He had to be his friend, and Bucky was willing to make that compromise. He just hoped his heart wouldn’t break in the process.
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