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livinlikebailey · 2 months

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Marauders as things my friend group has said

“Sometimes I forget how many dead people there are.” - Sirius @ Regulus during a family history lesson.

“ I’m gonna bite your toes while you’re sleeping,,, nibble, nibble, nibble” - a drunk Barty @ Evan who is ignoring him.

James: Drops phone on his face. James: claps friends theme song. James: picks phone back up like nothing happened.

“I’m a bi guy, a simple bi guy and I am 99% Lilly Evans and 1% Regulus Black.” - James Potter

“ Why do all the cute ones gotta be Deatheaters?” - Rita @ Bellatrix

“Iron chickens do not have iron testicals” - a very drunk Sirius @ an unfortunately sober Remus.

“I have decided that i am a snack it just no one is hungry” - Peter

Marlene: Climbs on train track bridge Dorcas: “Oh you are so fucking dumb, I look away for 2 seconds”

“No bite, no smile!” - Remus @ James who is trying to take a picture of him too close to the full moon.

“If i was there i’d slap her i don't care if she's 9” - Mary to lily after hearing about the shit her sister was doing to her. “James, I am a pussy.” - Peter to James about the forbidden forest.

“I would be James’ sugar bab- AHH!” - Lily about James to Mary.

“I have to go through all my saves and delete the videos of him because he turned out to be a pedophile… Hey! I had a chance with him” - Remus probably at some point.

“Was that CORPSE? Woop!” - Drunk Remus at a party.

Remus: “ughhhh” Sirius: “what?” Remus: “I hurt and I'm dying.” Sirius: “don't die, that's for kids”

Barty : sits up really quick "guys I just swallowed the nail, it's in my throat." Barty: proceeds to cough up the nail

Pandora: shows Regulus a picture she drew "this is cute" Regulus: "you're cute. wait that didn't go how I wanted it to.”

Barty: “RACCOON WORLDS DOMINATION”

Sirius: “Do I look like a freaking rat?” Regulus: ….. Sirius: “Don't answer that”

Effie: hears a song playing from james’ room “I used to listen to this song in grade school.” James: “Oh so it's really old then.”

Remus: "sips coffee stressfully"

Barty: "seductively eats toes"

Evan: "for your next random gift I'll get you a screwdriver Barty: "thanks I'm gonna kill myself with it"

Marlene: whining "mom James got me addicted to cocaine" wait I mean Crack cookies" - Marlene @ Effie

Nymphadora: tries to lick cat. Andromeda: "don't lick the kitty." Dora: proceeds to lick cat.

Barty: "school sh**tings" gives thumbs up

Sirius: shows Remus their high heels Remus: "okay whore" smacks hand over mouth "wait i- that wasn't supposed to come out" Sirius: laughs their ass off

James: yells across the store to mom “mom!" Random person at the checkout: looks at James "I am not mom."

“Effie’s a Milf” - Marlene

“I don't have nothing, other than a few std's” -Remus

“You can eat half a mermaid before you're a cannibal” - Pandora to Regulus

“Probably shouldn't be doing it but we’re definitely going to continue anyway” - Remus, Sirius, James and Peter in sync.

very confused Peter: “leprechauns don't play quidditch.”

Marlene: “like weewoo but not weewoo” exasperated and high off her ass

Sirius: “I like aids”

phone falls off bed Marlene in an Australian accent: "crikey my phone"

“I’m hooked up to so many wires i could connect to hbo on my heart monitor” - Lily on pain killers to James

"I don't think I can lick that, can I?" -Sirius playing goat simulator

watching cloudy with a chance of meatballs and it's at the part where the mayor destroys the machine and James says " I hope you see the error of your ways, you glutton!”

(talking about Cameron Monaghan) the murder child from my chemical romance - Sirius

"Fuckin’ Sirius"- Remus while asleep

Sirius "I've got middle fingers and i'm not afraid to use them" Regulus: "do it" Sirius "I’m a little afraid to use them"

Peter while asleep: groans and sits up fast James: "you okay?" Peter "not really." James: "What's wrong?" Peter: "I'm gonna have to use the loo to solve the thing."

Sirius: "So were you born in 2006, 2007?" Narcissa: "i was born in 2004" Regulus: "i don't mean this in a mean way but wow you are old"

Sirius: "I WANNA HOLD YOU" Remus "NO, LET ME MAKE COFFEE THEN YOU CAN"

Barty: "I'm gonna do a line off your dresser"

Barty: "i have a headache" pauses "and i have 2 more lines to do"

Mary: "I don't have to do acid I have the that back massager that messes with my balance receptor"

Barty: suddenly sits up Regulus: “are you okay” Barty: “i don't know, i'm just gonna go to sleep and try to see what's going on”

Barty: "Why not use a shotgun, it's easier, this is america." (was not in america)

"stop licking the oreos" - Reg @ Barty

"Do i really have to tell you not to mate with the cat"- McGonagall @ the marauders

Remus: “I can feel the brain damage,, and i've got another line”

“MY TRAUMA CAN'T HANDLE THIS!”- Sirius

“Ball licky licky titty croissant” - James trying to learn french from Regulus

“Ooo yay i love being kidnapped!”- Barty probably at some point

“The 3 c's cook, clean, cocktails”- Remus “The 3 b's bake broil blowjobs”- Sirius

“LET ME UPLOAD MY PORN DAMNIT” - Marlene probably

"Dorcas you should be my sugar mommy" - Pandora

"An air whore" Remus

"My skyrim character is Schizophrenic" - James

"I wanna blow up pumpkins, and People!!!!" -Bellatrix

"I can taste it in my eyeballs" - James

"you can't take terrorists to the airport"-Peter

"I'm really bad at swallowing" - Sirius

“you can't fuck a duck, you'd have to seduce it” - Evan

"Hey your boobs are crooked"- Marlene

"i’m sorry, i accused you of taking my grandpa" -Sirius

"im a gay virgin"-Regulus

"duck now motherfucker" Sirius @ James

"i wanna become a rug or everyone does a line of my ashes when i die" - Remus

"you can't be funny while I'm smoking" -Remus @ First year after he walked out the door

"I'm leaving, i don't care that much about being drug free" - Barty

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infinite-orangepeel · 1 year

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eddie: steve don’t move there’s a bug on you, it’s kinda big so i’m gonna have to slap it with my whole hand

steve: okay….what—what kind of bug !?

eddie: doesn’t matter just stay still. i’ll keep you safe, big boy

steve: alright, alright !! hurry up !

eddie: *in a poorly done impression of an australian crocodile hunter* oh it’s a huge one, bigger than anything i’ve ever seen in the wild before—absolutely massive

steve: fuck ! you’re freaking me out ! just get it already !

eddie: okay…one….two…

*hesitates for dramatic effect*

steve: THREE COME ON EDDIE ! THREE !!

eddie: *smacks his ass and falls onto the floor laughing hysterically*

steve: *sighs* there was never a bug on me, was there ?

eddie: works every time

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ridiasfangirlings · 3 months

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SaruMi go to the zoo and keep trying to insult each other by comparing them to animals.

Fushimi pointing out that everything with the name ‘pygmy’ or ‘little’ in its name must be related to Misaki while Yata’s like at least I don’t look like a penguin XD Imagine this was initially intended to be a romantic date too, like Yata figures this is one of those places people go on dates and if they go on a weekday it won’t be too crowded so Fushimi won’t complain. Of course Fushimi complains anyway (it isn’t Fushimi if he’s not complaining) because it’s outside and smells like animals and anyway only little kids go to the zoo. Yata’s like come on it’s fun, remember when we went in middle school, when Yata’s mom was taking his siblings and Yata and Fushimi came along to chaperone. Fushimi claims he didn’t care for it then too but really it’s probably a precious memory of his because he’d never been to the zoo before that and rather than watching the kids they probably spent the whole time running around together with Yata staring at all the animals and being super excited. Fushimi gets a small smile thinking about it and Yata just grins, knowing that even with all the complaining Yata’s definitely won this round.

They wander around the zoo looking at animals and of course when they get to the monkey house Yata can’t help but tease that hey, isn’t that gloomy one there you. Fushimi clicks his tongue and says the monkeys are definitely more Yata’s type, being uselessly loud. He spots one cage and is like here’s your soulmate Misaki, a pygmy marmoset. Yata probably doesn’t know what ‘pygmy’ even means (much less marmoset, imagine him being like did you just call me a bug), Fushimi’s grinning as he reads off the information plaque about how this is the smallest monkey in the world, just like Yata is the smallest Homra member. Yata grumbles that Anna is smaller than him and Fushimi’s just like ‘right now,’ Yata says to shut up and let’s go look at some birds. Yata probably points to a random crow eating trash off the ground and is like that’s you, being a nuisance, while Fushimi is like aren’t you the crow as he points out an exhibit featuring the Australian little crow.

Yata decides birds are no good, let’s just go check out the arctic animals inside. Fushimi finds himself staring at a snow leopard and feeling like it’s familiar somehow, but definitely not Misaki-like. Yata’s looking for something to compare to Fushimi, like hey there’s a stingray you’re definitely prickly like that. Then he sees a gloomy little penguin standing away from the other ones in the exhibit, it has ring marks like glasses around its eyes and maybe it keeps waving a wing like it’s gonna smack anyone who comes near. Yata’s like that is definitely you. Fushimi blinks and then clicks his tongue, he is not a penguin. Yata’s decided though, he’s like nope, you’re a penguin. Fushimi says he doesn’t need to hear that from a pygmy marmoset, Yata’s all okay penguin whatever you say. (They keep teasing like this the rest of the day but then imagine at the end of the date Yata goes into the gift shop and buys Fushimi a little penguin charm and Fushimi retaliates by getting Yata a monkey one. Later Yata spots the penguin charm dangling from Fushimi’s PDA and grins.)

#sarumi #Talking K #it always comes down to Fushi-pen #to Fushimi's innate penguin-ness #Yata can't resist teasing and buying him a charm #Fushimi grumbles but also gift from Misaki he must keep

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ladycamillewrites · 1 year

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Against the Odds

Chapter 10 - Don't be sorry

warnings: pregnancy stuff, emotional scenes, cussing

masterlist

“Chris? Can you hear me?“

“Tom! G’day mate! I know I might’ve overstrained your nerves yesterday“ Chris sighed, suddenly feeling a bit guilty for throwing the overwhelming piece of information at his best friend on a random Thursday night. Wile he was out with Benedict.

“No, it’s- I… fuck, man“ Tom’s husky voice echoed through the Aussie’s phone, self-doubts were battling rays of hope for a brighter future in his voice. “I’m in Dubai right now“

Short silence.

“Erm, you are where?“

“Dubai. It’s a three hour layover but those guys have quite the comfortable business class lounge“ Tom replied, the rattling of cutlery adding to the background noises.

The gears in Chris’ head shifted fast, the realization of what his best friend was doing set in like a lightning. But honestly he didn’t expect anything else. Tom was a good man with a strong heart.

“Oh god, thank ya. Y/n is” he stopped for a second “Well, she needs you“, his voice vanishing in a whisper as he heard your high-pitched curse from upstairs. Perhaps the baby was giving his sister some thundering headaches again. A muffled giggle resounded from the actor’s vocal cords whereas Tom was on red alert.

“Is she alright? God, I should’ve come far earlier“ the Brit sighed, doing a desperate facepalm and his left forearm landed on the table with a dull smack. The Arabian specialties he ordered smelled tantalizing however, his hunger was gone.

“Bro, calm down. It’s probably just the baby doing it’s first moves. She always complains about how it tickles on the inside and she can’t do anything about it“ the Thor actor explained, trying to take the guilt from his friend. There was no real need to make him insecure by telling the first conjecture about the reason of your cry.

“Thank god. It sounds like her“ Tom chuckled lightly, freeing his forehead from the strong grip of his hand. Planes were taking off and pushing back behind the thick windows giving him hope to finally be reunited with the woman he loved more than anything else.

And his unborn child.

“So, If nothing gets in the way I’ll be arriving in Brisbane at 2pm“.

“I’ll pick you up, bro. Have a nice flight“ Chris hurried to say goodbye before his secret phone call would blow up.

You were bustling all around the house, finding something new to do every five minutes. The second trimester, despite of small movements of the baby and occasional migraine, was flooding you with energy and motivation to do the most random stuff at even more random times.

“Arielle? Where are you?“ Liam’s voice echoed from downstairs. “Bathroom. Thor tries to eat my bikini bottooooooms“ you yelled back, the panic in your voice amusingly audible. The fluffy Australian Shepherd was a sweetheart. Mostly. But sometimes he turned into Satan himself and tried to annoy the hell out of you.

“Thor tries to do what?“ Your youngest brother asked, the wicked entertainment obvious. Of course he found that funny. “When you finished laughing could you please get your pretty ass up here and put that dog away-ahhhhh!“.

Liam bit his hand to repress a roaring laughter while Chris fist banged on the counter top. Another desperate try to keep it in whereas your agitated curses echoed from above. Their gazes met and both knew they were absolutely defeated. Bursting out in crippling laughter the brothers bathed in your suffering.

“Liam and Chris fucking Hemsworth! I know y’all grinning like a shot fox. M’ gonna kill you by drowning in the sea“ you cried out before dull thuds announced you descending the stairs and approaching your brothers with the chewed string of wet fabric menacingly in your hand. “Nooo, don’t“ Liam cried out running away from you like a scared, giggling child. You were a mess with your brothers but hell, no one cared so it was just perfect.

“You’ll buy me a new crossie, friend“ you pointed at Chris who was still choking on a slice of mango. “Why should I?“ He threw his hands up in despair before the salivated fabric hit his naked torso with a wet smack. You weren’t to play games with right now but secretly you enjoyed the childish banter.

*ding-dong*

“Arielle, could you please accept the mail?“ Chris yelled from out of the garage. He just got back from grocery shopping and you were the only one dry and inside since your nephews were having quality time with their mother in the pool. Reluctantly, you got up, hasty legs carrying you towards the big, white door.

Lost in thoughts about Tom, the few months you relished in a perfect life with him London, you twisted the doorknob.

“Hello, my love“.

Your jaw dropped, hands flying up to cup your cheeks as the man you were thinking about nonstop stood in the doorframe, a pretty bouquet made out of lilies and roses in his hands. It felt like you were frozen, as if the person who played you as character just paused the game while Tom’s coy yet incredibly charming smile dazzled your widened eyes.

“May I come-“ he began, but the baritone voice you had missed so much died as your lips sealed with his. It was as if there had never been a second of pause, not even the slightest touch of difference. It was beautiful whereas you felt horrible inside. Hot tears teetered in the brink of your eyelids, ready to stain Tom’s notorious blue sweater.

“I missed you, darling“ he breathed as you parted for a second, causing the dam of your eyes to breake and gushes of salty tears streamed down you reddened cheeks.

You had basically abandoned him, left him without a trace and only a ludicrous excuse of a letter. Nevertheless, the man stood right here in front of you smiling thorough his own emotionality with the biggest doe eyes. He wasn’t angry, was he?

Honestly, you couldn’t even blame him if he was.

“Listen, Tom I- I am so fucking sorry” it blurted out of you, unable to meet his ocean blues and turning away from the door instead. Your step away allowed the Brit to enter, however, you were trying to get a safe distance. A few feet that would spare you from his beautiful face contorted in disappointment like a Bernini statue.

“Love, please”

“No, I can’t. There’s no adequate excuse for what I have done. I should have spoken to you before I left. I should’ve told you that I am…” your voice died in the sore passageway of your throat. Tom was unaware of your biggest secret, wasn’t he?

A whole damn child spending it’s thirteenth week of live in your belly was a hell of a secret. You felt like crumbling apart.

“Pregnant? I know, y/n” Tom’s soothing voice hoisted your gaze from the floor, rays of hope sparkling in your eyes and the broadly smiling man came closer. Was he alright with it? Would he possibly want to have a child with you? A thousand scenarios rumbled through your agitated mind, images of your happy family life fighting the idea of raising him or her alone.

“How do you-“ you began, your boyfriends sharp jawline pointing at your brother as he nodded agreeing wordlessly. Chris sat in the staircase grinning like a Cheshire Cat and holding both thumbs up in an affirmative gesture. Of course. How could you’ve been so stupid to tell him and not expecting him to tell his best friend who happened to be the father.

You scoffed, grabbing Tom’s hand and pulling him across the whole living room until you reached the terrace, elaborately peppered with exotic plants and a few loungers. Peaceful and peace was definitely what you desired the most. Inner peace with yourself and the man you were ready to lose everything else for.

“I found out the night of the London Awards but I was already in the tenth week. Remember when I stumbled and you dragged me to the ER?” you whispered, hands playing with vivid petals of the bouquet Tom had bought you. Oh, the scent was heavenly reminding you of the unique lilly-scented washing powder Tom used for his dress shirts.

Probably not a coincidence but a gentle innuendo.

“Oh god. Why- Why didn’t you tell me?” He panted, looking up from the glass table that separated you like bars of a mental prison. His question weighed heavy on your delicate shoulders, the tickle of your baby’s first tries of movements added oil to the fire that spread across every single sense. It felt shitty, as if you had committed a felony.

“Fuck“ you sighed, hiding your sensitive face in the last fortress of small hands. You had hurt him and blatantly so. Shifting uncomfortable on the soft leather, you stopped as his gentle fingertips brushed your bare knees, slowly pushing the hem of your dress upwards, calculated wave-like motions. “Thomas, I didn’t mean to fool you. I really didn’t. It was just… I-“ you began to stammer mid-sentence.

“Shhh“ he calmed your troubled mind, squatting from the leathery surface and reaching to grab your waist. A gentle flex of his exposed forearms lifted you upwards, coaxing you to straddle his lap. His scent invaded your nostrils like sedative gas, his touch melted your spent muscles like lava melts snow. It felt like the exact same home you left three weeks ago.

Guilt. That was what fueled your tears as soon as your face nuzzled in the crook of his neck. You had left him. Pregnant. You could never properly excuse this although your choice had been influenced heavily by the greedy, destructive voices that wanted nothing but drama and heartbreak.

“I know, darling. I could never reproach you for what you did“ he whispered, the big hand continuously tracing little circles and other swirling patterns on your back. “But I sincerely hope that you can give us a second chance“ the Brit purred carefully. “Please, love. I need you“ the last words flew silently in the Australian breeze like a heavy promise. A promise to your ears only before it got carried away.

“Would you want me back? After…well, I left you?“ You murmured barely audible against the drenched fabric of his signature sweater. Your tears had devoured his whole shoulder but the relentless sun would dry it in an instant anyway. A bit of wetness was Tom’s smallest problem at the moment.

“I’ve never not wanted you, y/n. Since the day Chris introduced me to you again I knew you would play the leading role my own, personal movie. God, I have thought about you since that day. Nonstop, not until this very second“

“Can we take a break from the world? Just us and the people who don’t judge for a little while? I need to get my life- we need to get our life sorted“ you paused for a little sigh, slightly hesitant to mention the ‘issue‘. “Especially since she’s with us“.

“So… you think it is a girl? Our baby?“ Tom breathed, the words sinking in like hot ash burning all his previous experiences and nurturing the new life he would be building with you. And with whoever little wonder was hiding in your womb. It was much to take in. “Our baby“ he repeated almost absent-mindedly, thoughts trailing off to how he would be a father in about… wait.

“How far along are you, love?“ The question dragged you out of the gleeful bliss of watching Tom’s gorgeous face contort in pure awe. “Fourteenth week so in the beginning of the second trimester“ you began to explain, your boyfriend’s lips twitching with every new piece of vulnerable information he got. You could almost smell his adorable excitement.

“Wow” his soft baritone cooed, almost in sync with your giggle. “With you wearing this loose dress I could never have guessed”.

“And yes, somehow I have the feeling it’s a girl. She’ll have your beautiful curls, Tommy“. You smiled so freely and happily for the first time in a long time. Your cheeks wandered up to give way to proud, curling lips and your pregnancy glow reflected the sun like a touch of divinity. He always wanted to have children once and with you being their mother, the actor couldn’t be any happier. He never had been to be exact, in none of his earlier relationships.

Tom hummed in approval, returning your smile before your delicate hand grabbed his, guiding it towards your stomach but he stopped, steel blue doe eyes searching for consent. He was a gentleman of the first waters. Always. Even if it was about his own flesh and blood growing like a wonderful flower.

“Go on“ you smiled coyly, gaze fixed on the Brit’s unique facial features scanning them for any sign of reaction as he touched your small bump. It wasn’t too big yet but clearly visible now that you brushed the fabric of the dress. “Christ“ he breathed, a sudden warmth spreading from his palms like a calming balm. You could feel how she was enjoying her dad’s touch.

For the first time knowingly.

“You’re gonna be a father, Thomas Hiddleston“ you snickered. The angelic sound of your words and their overwhelming meaning dragged the curly haired Brit out of his trance and back into the reality he would cherish and treasure like a guard dog.

“We- we’ll have a baby“ he eventually whimpered with a sniffy tone. The man had lost control over his words or expressions. “I thought it was impossible for me“ you mused, smiling to yourself at all the comments and bottomless accusations Nate had planted in your mind.

Bullshit. It had all been bullshit and Tom, the real love of your life, had proven it.

Nate could proudly go fuck himself because you had everything you wanted.

But deep down you knew this triumph wouldn’t be for too long. In a few months the premiere of ‘The Moralizer‘ would take place with compulsory attendance for you and Tom. Logically the world world would know if you came.

However, you wanted to keep this piece of heaven for as long as it lasted. In private.

“God, y/n. You're growing a wonder. I can’t wait to meet him“ he chuckled pulling you in a gentle kiss and lavishly toying with your lower lip. He was devastatingly seductive as always but suave in his tender touch.

“Him? So you don’t think it’s a girl?“ You mused against his wet lips, both of your mouths curling in fond smiles and giggles.

“Hmmm“ he hummed, the dark timbre of his voice always remaining you of Loki, the Asgardian god you had a massive movie-crush on since the first Thor movie and naturally it got progressively worse. To your defense, you weren’t alone. “No. It’s gonna be a daddy’s boy“.

“Tommy! What even is my role then? You cannot just claim little Hiddles!“

“Excuse me? Little Hiddles?“ Tom chuckled, butterflies swirling in his belly at your face all scrunched up in mischievous laughter and of course the cute nickname you had given the baby. He would copy that most definitely. ‘Little Hiddles’ he repeated in his head, pride swelling in his chest, the thought of you as the mother of his child was simple in it’s nature but utterly beautiful.

“Y/n, Tom? Can we talk for a second?“ A shy Elsa peeked around the corner of the brick column. She had been an angel since your arrival, the second person to know of your pregnancy in general and the best source of productive help you got so far. She had three kids after all.

“Sure, and thank you for letting me stay, Elsa. Truly“ Tom unwrapped his charming, British smile making Elsa return it a mere blink of an eye. This man was a honeytrap for every breathing being, a fluffy looking predator that could lure anyone he wished. But it was you who owned his pure heart. You and baby-Tommy, of course.

“You’re something like my brother-in-law so how could I say no?“ She giggled, sitting down opposite of you. “Have you told him about the appointment and the little thing we’ve planned?“

You but your lower lips, sudden nervousness cursed your veins at the thought of today’s ultrasound appointment. The biggest one in a while and with a little luck, the doc would be able to determine the gender. Hopefully, everything was alright with your little wonder. You couldn’t bear any complications in this emotionally vulnerable state. Not with the newfound happiness Tom brought with him from London.

“Well, erm I thought you c- can“ you begun to stutter like a child, your gaze jumping from Tom’s right eyes to his left. “She has a big exam today and now that the daddy is here…“ Elsa tried to help you, nodding affirmatively until the words slipped from your tongue.

“Would you like to come with me?“

“If you would have me, dove“ Tom cooed with excitement tugging at his lips.

Chris’ wife was slowly melting but not from the Australian sun, no, from the utter cuteness of the whole scenario. It felt like the final, happy reunion in a rom-com with the best actors on the planet. To her you definitely were.

“And Elsa wants to organize a gender reveal party if that’s okay with you, baby“ you snickered against his muscular chest, the training for Skull Island and the Moralizer was still showing off so seductively. If everything was going well later, Tom would definitely not be allowed the leave the bedroom tonight.

You were touch starved and so was he, his hips subtly bucking as you leaned back, temptingly putting your cleavage on display for him.

Oh, the passion never died.

“I can hear it in your voice, dove. You would love this, wouldn’t you?“ He mocked playfully, long digits flying to hold you in place. “Maybe“. The giggle spoke volumes, making the handsome Brit set up the serotonin-boosting smile you loved so much about him. The shiny teeth reflected the sun like luxurious pearls while you drowned in the ocean and sky blue shades of his almond eyes.

A beautiful man and all yours. Hopefully, forever.

“Ready? It could feel a bit cold“ the doctor asked for consent before applying the ultrasound probe on your bump. It tickled, felt weird but Tom was sitting right next to you caressing your arm and smiling like an exited kid. You wouldn’t know whether it was a girl or a boy since Elsa planned the party for you.

The doc knew so everything that came out of his mouth were the standard affirmations. You smiled at Tom, watching him look at the monitor with an awe-struck expression painting his sharp facials.

Fuck Nate. This was exactly what you wanted. This man and this little family.

But his smile died, brows furrowed in confusion as the doctor mumbled incoherent phrases to himself, moving the probe across your belly as if he was searching something.

“Ehm, is everything alright?“ Your dry voice was shaking and Tom’s big hand grabbed your left hand. The tension was palpable and thousands of bad scenarios began to flash in your irritated mommy-mind.

“Oh, sorry! Yes, it is actually all good twice“ he explained, fingers moving on the monitor to make measurements or whatever this device was capable of.

Your confused gaze met your boyfriend’s equally puzzled ocean blues, both unable to process what the doctor was trying to imply.

“You didn’t know?“ The older man asked again, an exited grin on his thin lips. “Sorry, know what?“

“You’re expecting twins, Ms Hemsworth“

“I beg your pardon?“ It blurted out of Tom, disbelief written all over his gorgeous face like an emotional love letter. The shock turned into a sweet realization as the monitor got turned and you saw the two tiny beings sharing your belly like roommates.

“Well, the babies are a bit small for your stage of pregnancy but it's nothing to worry about. Both seem perfectly healthy“.

Two babies.

“Oh my god“ you breathed, mouth agape from feeling you couldn’t even describe properly. Of course, you were overwhelmed for more than just a blink of an eye and maybe would need some days to really process this. However, the main emotions were pure luck, happiness and pride swelling in your fast pounding heart when glassy eyes met Tom.

* beep beep *

“Oh, excuse me for a minute“ the friendly doctor nodded, the honest smile on his face silently congratulating the happy couple before the he left.

“Twins, darling! You’re a wonder“ Tom sobbed, sweet tears rolling down the sharp path of his cheekbones until they hit your naked belly. It felt so wholesome yet utterly distant as you sat up, back against Tom’s chest and both staring at the on-hold image the doctor captured.

At first you thought you would never have a baby and now… two little creatures sleeping safe and sound in your bump. The natural consequence of your love to the most perfect man on earth.

“I- I don’t… we have to buy twice as much clothes?!“ It blurted out of you, realization slowly setting like dawn. Tom just chuckled, the deep sound intertwining with happy sobs and vibrating against your neck. He held you tight, one hand sinking down to cup your belly in such loving manner, the twins would surely notice.

“Looks like I have to order two Loki jumpers then“. “Sorry, you ordered what?“ You bursted out in laughter swiftly turning your shoulders to face the grinning man. He was Loki, there was no doubt. But the stubble of his beard was kind of distracting to the image of the ethereal trickster nevertheless, you loved it as much.

“You will be an amazing father, Tom“ you snickered, the tip of your nose touching his before his pointer brushed your chin and coaxed you into a passionate kiss. Tongues were swirling around each other, tears were mingling at your touching cheeks. This moment was one to treasure, one that was burnt deep in your memory. One that you shared with Tom forever and maybe would think about again when your twins had kids of their own…

“I’m so sorry I left you. Is there any way I could-“ but Tom was quick to interrupt “Love, we talked about this. No more apologies because I am happier than ever“ he breathed in between the heated kiss. Perhaps it grew a bit out of control, his greedy hands melting in the curves of your hips.

“Guys, I’ve heard you’re-“ Elsa stumbled in the room, the handle of her bag getting caught on the doorknob. With heavy pants you parted, mentally thanking the door for distracting your sister-in-law. There was no need for her to see you almost making out in the examination room of the local hospital, right?

“Twins!“ You grinned like a Cheshire Cat while it was still dawning on you that this meant twice the work, twice the fatigue and twice the bustle.

But hell, as if you couldn’t manage it with Tom on your side. You were ready for this luck of a challenge and so was your boyfriend, agog to tell his mom. You’ve met her already, even visited her a few times and she was so adorable. The perfect grandmother, you were sure.

Elsa squeaked like an overly exited child, jumping around to pull both of you in a hug. “Congratulations, you two“ she chirped, suddenly pulling back to stare at you with eyes widened and a silent o on her lips. “Oh gosh! I have to double up all the decoration and stuff“ it blurted out of her bestowing you a good round of laughter.

Unbeknownst to you the doctor returned, your documents and files in his hands.

“Mister Hiddleston, do you know your blood type by any chance?“ He intervened, the smile in his voice audible as the sweet serotonin swirling in the air infiltrated him as well.

“A negative, sir“ his answer came like shot leaving Elsa and you startled, exchanging funny looks as the doc completed the entries in your maternity record. “Well, you could shoot me in the leg and I wouldn’t know“ your best friend quipped nudging Tom in the side to elicit some kind of explanation.

Tom’s amused chuckle warmed your heart as you smoothened your blouse again, turning on the medical couch, your legs dangling freely. “While filming Skull Island they needed to know in case anyone got injured in the backland of Vietnam“ he explained, smiling at all the interesting memories he made.

“Have you heard that mini-Hiddlestons? Your daddy is a pretty cool guy“ you cackled, caressing the small bump hidden by comfortable leggings.

“Twins? Are you kidding me mate?“ Chris’ deep voice echoed through the whole house as Tom proudly presented the ultrasound picture the doc gave you. “What?“ India squeaked running towards her daddy and swiftly grabbing the photo. Logically, it was just a weird black and white image of something she was far too young to realize but her youthful joy was unstoppable.

“Like Tristan and Sasha?“ She asked Tom, small eyebrows furrowed in concentration to process the gleeful situation. India had idolized her aunt y/n since the day she was born and finding out there would be more kids in her family soon was totally awesome to her.

“Exactly. Maybe this kind of luck runs in the Hemsworth-blood?“ Tom joked patting his bro’s shoulders; the man as hard as rock yet fighting happy tears like a toddler. “You have no idea what multiplying this kind of work means“ your big brother tried to detract from his emotionality but Tom just laughed it off.

There was no space for worries or fears right now. Just bliss.

“Chris, what the hell?“ Liam intervened crossing his arms in front of his chest defensively. The youngest brother sometimes actually was the most reasonable. “Are you really just terrifying him? Give this man a break“.

“Exactly, Chris. Listen to your brother“ you feigned seriousness while jumping on Liam’s back letting him carry you around the house like a human horse. “To the fridge“ you commanded strictly, extending one arm with your fingers pointing to the kitchen.

The mini-Hiddles were hungry so the mango in the fridge was destined to die.

The other mango you knew was certainly better suited for more private times…

“Lucky you. The last few days she wanted me to drive her to Macca’s“ Chris sighed, getting up to indulge his begging daughter’s wish to go play with Thor. Tom was left turning around on the couch, his right arm resting on the backrest so that he could watch his beautiful y/n bickering with her brother. She was perfect, curling the corners of lips upwards with ease.

After you were finished arguing with Liam on how to cut a mango the right way, you were huddled up in Tom’s strong arms, the two of you enjoying the privacy at the pool. Light blue pool lights were creating flickering and swaying rays with the tiny waves rippling across the water surface. It was so peaceful, and so was your heart. Almost.

“Tommy?“ “Hmm?“ He hummed, eyes closed and tired from the excruciatingly long day. A stop-over flight, a fateful talk and finding out he was gonna be the dad of twins had the Brit’s mind dizzy.

However, it was a good kind of dizzy, the way you would feel after a fun rollercoaster ride.

“What do you say about taking some time off? I want to to savor this with you before we have to face reality again“ you spoke, barely audible in the valley between his biceps and torso. You knew it was going to happen and the media outcry would be heavy. Needless to say you weren’t keen on Nate’s fucking stupid comments.

But they would meet your ears soon enough and you wanted to be prepared.

“Of course. I already told my manager about a break due to personal reasons. Are three weeks fine with you, darling?“ He cooed, dexterous digits toying with a strand of your hair sprawled across his bare chest. You could feel his defined pectorals flexing as his arm reached out to cradle your figure lovingly.

“More than fine, my love“ you grinned up at him. “We will be stronger than ever“ He added while his ocean blues wandered your bikini clad body greedily. Oh, how well you knew this look and what would follow.

“I hope so, Tommy. But let’s not waste time on those idiots, shall we?“ You chirped, his subtle beard tickling your delicate skin as your lips sealed agin.

a/n: twins guyssss 🎉 let's see if the newfound happiness lasts

tags: @crimson25 @kikster606 @huntress-artemiss @123forgottherest @lovingchoices14 @ozymdias @vbecker10 @coldnique @lokixryss @simplyholl @peaches1958 @lokibadguy @jennyggggrrr @stephenstrangeaddictions @holymultiplefandomsbatman @mischief2sarawr @mypsychoticlove @mochie85 @muddyorbs @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @simping-for-marvel @lady-rose-moon @goblingirlsarah @kats72 @vickie5446 @buffyfan2833 @12-pm-510 @ladymischief11 @somewiseguy @woooonau @cabingrlandrandomcrap @alchemxx @honeyrydernot

#against the odds #Hiddleston fic #tom hiddelston x reader #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston x you #tom hiddleston fic

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bloody-wonder · 1 month

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Until now, have you found any couple (canon or non canon) from any media (books, tv series, movies, anime/manga, etc) that the dynamics remind you of Neil/Andrew and Damen/Laurent?

if you're looking for dynamics specifically (as opposed to a full romance arc) the lymond chronicles, the queen's thief and empire of the vampire will scratch that damen/laurent itch.

it's common knowledge, at least in my niche circles, that cs pacat is a big fan of dorothy dunnett's work, that laurent is based on lymond and that his relationship with damen (down to specific scenes) was inspired by lymond's numerous boytoys. so reading the lymond chronicles after captive prince is constantly going aha! *leonardo dicaprio pointing meme*. what these books however don't have is a full romance arc with any of those men which is why you could say capri is, in a sense, a slash fic of the lymond chronicles. it's my favorite series of all time and i can't recommend it enough but it's also rather inaccessible in the beginning and has a steep learning curve - quite a commintment of your time and brain energy but so SO worth it!

the queen's thief is another series heavily inspired by the lymond chronicles and it has multiple ships that reminded me of damen/laurent: gen's love interest is very much a cast iron bitch and they do engage in an intense enemies to lovers romance, with some casualties. costis and kamet's story in thick as thieves is basically if the side quests laurent and damen went on were a whole separate book. and while not a canon romance like the previous two, whatever gen and costis have going on in the king of attolia is very reminiscent of the laurent/damen dynamic in book one (minus the slavery). two things to keep in mind if you decide to pick up the queen's thief: it's sort of ya (??) so the brutality and sexiness, while present, will not be on the same level as capri. and book one doesn't feature any of the above ships so, again, you gotta commit to the whole thing :)

now, while these two recs seem like no-brainers to me, i'm very excited to take this opportunity to yell about empire of the vampire from the rooftops AGAIN!! eotv is basically a story about epic quests and valiant deeds told by a jaded captive vampire hunter to his cunty vampire captor (who is blonde bc yes). jean françois is definitely inspired by anne rice's lestat (as the narrative format as a whole is inspired by interview with the vampire) but his dynamic with gabriel is just Peak Laurent/Damen Banter. "i speak your language better than you speak mine, sweetheart" and "hello, lover" galore! in fact, after i found out that pacat and jay kristoff know each other personally i became convinced that he had either read capri and borrowed the vibe OR *starts rambling about her conspiracy theory about how all australian fantasy authors drink secret australian magic juice that makes them write fun depraved sff, gets smacked on the head, passes out* where was i... ah yes, nasty gay vampires. eotv is very fun and very tropey, also very queer and sexy (esp book two) and it had my toxic yaoi needs covered however comma. jean françois/gabriel is basically them sitting in a room in the frame narrative and exchanging homoerotic barbs, while the story itself is about gabriel's past adventures (also very interesting but less homoerotic). it's unlikely that they're gonna have any sort of romance arc - unless someone reads the books and writes a fic of them. please.

alas, i still can't rec anything that comes close to what nora achieved with andreil. to me, the defining characteristics of their dynamic are two feral cats circling and sniffing each other, intricate rituals, overdramatic dialogue, aspec attraction (on neil's part). while one can attempt to find some of these elements in other stories, you cannot find all of them at once (aspec pov on relationships being particularly rare in fiction). there's just no other couple that manages to strike a perfect balance between the anime levels of drama and chaos on the one hand and the serious themes of trauma, acceptance, consent etc on the other hand. sorry, anon, ig we'll have to keep re-reading aftg until one of the aspiring authors i bet this fandom has a lot of writes their own book inspired by andreil🤷‍♀️

#book tag #so there's a dorothy dunnett cabal and an australian/new zealand depraved sff cabal #and pacat is in the overlapping section of these two circles #i connected the dots

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violivs · 1 month

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NMTDaily: Project II - One Shot

- Dogberry and Verges accidentally photobombing is cute. They’re so panicked about it!

- Love how the crew tries to pretend they’re not all one big friend group, and yet they all sit together at lunch.

- Ben, why would you bring something so messy and cumbersome as a whole mango to school? Slice it at home at least! Oh my god, evidence that Ben’s parents are slightly neglectful because they don’t notice or stop him from packing weird lunches? I don’t know, just wondering.

- Ben and Bea hate each other so much that they make sure to sit as close together as possible without actually being at the same table. I see you guys.

- Peter mugging for the camera and blowing it a kiss! (It is now an active struggle to remember we were calling him Pedro at this point, I always default to Peter.)

- The boys just talking about food as their intro-to-scene chatter just tickles me. Mango and chili, chocolate and chili. Ooh- things you wouldn’t think would go together but actually really do work as a pair? Hmm… (I haven’t tried them, but just go with me here)

- “We’ve known each other for a long time, right?” Oooh, another “I know you of old.”

- Ben’s name spiel, truly spoken like someone who has been fighting the “just call me Ben” fight for years. I bet his least favorite day of school is the first day, because he has to endure the two minutes of being laughed at when the new teacher calls roll and everyone is reminded of his full name again. Before he gets the teacher to put a note in the attendance book so that won’t happen again.

- And then Beatrice deliberately ignores him and keeps calling him Benedick, because of course she does.

- Honestly I just had to sit back and watch the rest of this episode. It’s too damn good to even liveblog, you’ve just gotta let it happen. I love it so much. I did rewatch to finish the liveblog but it’s such a tight episode it’s hard to know what to say.

- I mean. The fact that for as long as they’ve known each other, Bea and Ben have literally had a game on with their friend group of “let’s argue about stupid stuff for fun”- brilliant. Perfect. So them.

- Also love how resigned their friends are to B&B’s arguing. It’s just normal to them. Sometimes Pedro or Meg or Claudio try to intervene, but they know it’s useless in the end. But it’s ok because they also find it pretty funny for the most part, at least for now.

- Obsessed with them citing academic studies of mango skin back and forth at each other. To be reading academic articles in their spare time, they are both such a specific type of nerd. I love them.

- Ben fishing for a compliment from Bea is adorable and cringy. Everything he does makes me more sure this was a “Ben fell first, Bea fell harder” situation. They’re gonna be in LOVE.

- “You said I looked ‘mighty fine!’ ‘Babein’!” Oh my god the origin of “Babein” was here and not in PIZZA?! Mind blown.

- I don’t think I ever caught that the flamingo argument involved “would you rather be pecked to death by flamingos” before. Ben’s argument is definitely that flamingos are too majestic and amazing to be violent, and Bea’s argument is that that’s stupid because they’re still wild animals and wild animals can mess you up if they want. They never even get to the other half of the would-you-rather!

- *smacks both Ben and Bea for the ableist would-you-rather, high-fives Claudio not finding it funny, then smacks Ben again for jokingly saying ‘that’s racist’ about British stereotypes*

- *smacks Claudio for ‘you sound like a gay Australian’* *high fives Pedro and Ben for telling him to shut up* *wonders whether Pedro was already questioning his sexuality by now*

- The making fun of each other’s accents does crack me up. Low-hanging fruit though, they’ve both got better insults.

- “Queen Elizabeth is gapping it over here to come scissor-kick you in the head!” And “How do you know about the microchip?” Some of Ben’s most iconic lines tbh.

- Ben is SO performing in this entire scene. Trying so hard to make everyone laugh, asking for high-fives, trying to one-up Bea at every turn. He’s holding court, honestly. And you only really know that he’s acting and putting on a show of confidence upon rewatch.

- Whereas I do feel that Beatrice is always 100% herself. She says what she feels. And she always gets the last word. Though he does bite the mango at her, so he gets the last action, lol.

💖🥭🦩

#nmtd #nmtdaily #violivs nmtdaily liveblog #project II one shot #let me know if you prefer these under a readmore so they clog the tag less

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prettyflyshyguy · 2 months

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Alright Season 3 lets give it up for season 3 everyone.

Cannot believe this show left me on "How do you know what you brought back it 100% pure Sam?" and I just said to myself

GODDAMN

and then just didn't watch S3E1 for three days

Anyway. Liveblogging spn while I work tonight. We're bringing back the old days where I did this with x files if any of you remember that LMAO

Kicking things off with a bang (and me trying to not post too many rambles about a stupid tv show, so I'm conglomerating my thoughts into big posts instead)

we have S3E1 - The Magnificent Seven

Love this show's deep appreciation for full black contact lenses MWAH

cheffs kiss

Sorry I know I should be focusing on the evil demon smoke going to infect whatever city this is but like. Do you guys actually genuinely have flags out the front of your houses like this for real

Like really. Do your houses really have flags like that.

OH YEAH BABEY SEASON 3 GOT AN INTRO STING GRAPHICAL UPDATE!!!!!!!!!! NICE

He is SO concerned

No one is giving me practical effects like this show is and I'm living for this

I WISH there was more of a scene in australia cause god I'd work as a prop maker for a living if it was a viable career to do more horror aligned stuff here.

They've spiced up the camera work this season and it is FUN!!!!

These two are great I hope they're gonna be regular supporting characters PLEASE

Highly entertaining seeing Dean's superpower of "Flirt with woman successfully" actually used as a utility (bonus points because it's making him uncomfortable)

RARE HAT-LESS BOBBY SPOTTED

Oh.

Absolutely visceral death, but a real damn shame because these two were cool :(

This show has no right just putting jokes like this right after a scene like THAT.

These dickheads are far too fun to be a one off PLEASE

Australian chanting

FOIGHT FOIGHT FOIGHT FOIGHT FOIGHT!!!!!!!!

Alright that was a fun way to start a season. Nice recap. I get it. It'dved been a while since it last aired. I like shitty pissed off Sam a LOT.

Are you tired of being nice Sam? Don't you just want to go apeshit?

Round 2 Electric Boogaloo with S3E2 - The Kids are Alright

Starting strong once again with a callback to Victorian worksafe ads!!

(Victorians know.)

Love that Sam inherited NONE of the lying genes in the family

I'm sorry you cant make the comment "as many as I can squeeze out" (EUPHAMISM) and then immediately smack me in the face with a fucking GUMBY REFERENCE?????!!!!!!!!!

Fuck off I hate this show. Fuck you dean you stupid piece of shit

A FUCKING

GUMBY REFERENCE (how many of you know what that is LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

Look I get it, I do, but c'mon he looks so fucking awkward getting cake while these two women are talking about the explicit details of his prior intimate experience with Lisa from 8 years ago

Like what the fuck did they DO to illicit a reaction as intense as these two women are giving

No I will not suspend my disbelief for the running gag No I'm not taking this too literally NO i don't have a problem with interpreting jokes

The closeup of Dean's face as his brain was doing the dialup tone killed me, then immediately PANIC but don't drop the cake (SAME)

Anyway. Lisa I love you. You're amazing. Please be done justice by this show. Please.

Need you all to know I go through hell (HAR HAR) to watch this show

And I thought my conversations in cafes sounded unhinged to bystanders (LITERALLY had some old dude tell me and a friend we were weirdos as we minded our own business drawing horror art in a cafe hgakjrhgkagh)

HATE that my brain just went "NOT THE SARAN WRAP SKIN" (we don't call it that. Next I'll start pronouncing things more wrong than I already do)

Not the white DS Lite!!!!!!!!

Remember this kid you bullied in highschool? This is them now

Oh this show doesn't pull punches and it has some NICE shots

Anyway bye Lisa I love you I hope you come back soon :(

the running gag of bizarre interior décor hotel room never ceases to entertain me, I'm like a small child

Anyway

ran out of room for more images on this post so. Who knows maybe I'll fuck off or I'll do a part 2 tonight we'll see

#shy talks #not art #shy liveblogs spn

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sharksa-shivers · 8 months

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Kinda a shitty surprise to come home to, ngl...

(we see Nucleo walking up the stairs to his apartment after a long day at work. We see he has a jacket over his shoulder as he fiddles with his keys. He approaches his door, opens it and walks in, switching on the light. Nucleo closes the door and walks into his actual apartment area, moving towards his table…When we see a shadow behind him rise up…Nucleo stops, listening…And in a flash, the intruder using a hunting knife, attempts to stab Nucleo, only for Nucleo to rapidly grab his jacket off his shoulder and use it to block the stab attempt. We see the intruder is a slackjawed shadowdemon, smiling down at Nucleo with pure evil intent in his eyes. Nucleo knows the jacket isn't going to hold long against a knife, thus within another flash, he pulls up a radiation shield and shoves the attacker back, slamming him into the wall and holding him there.)

Nucleo:(obviously pissed)Who the hell are you and what do you want????

Shadowdemon:(Nucleo being tired, his shields are even weaker then usual. The shadowdemon pulls back and slashes the shit out of the shield, dissolving it, he stands up, cracks his neck and points the blade at Nucleo, smirking evily, his voice having a strong Australian accent as he approaches)Pretty damn sure i got the right address…You're friends with that fireheaded bitch arentcha? Queen Meforia has a very nice bounty on your head if i bring you in. But don't fret…I'm only getting paid if i bring you back alive…(grin increases)At least for now heheheheh, So let's do this fuckin nice and easy…You come with me now, and i won't have to shank your intestines or kidneys any… Nucleo:(his gaze narrows, it's pretty obvious with the look he's giving, he's not going to go easily…Nucleo quickly and subtly examines the room. Nucleo's gaze goes over to one of his chairs and towards his nightstand, obviously having some sort of plan in mind. Nucleo levitates one of his chairs right into his hands and starts swinging it at the intruder, he manages to smack the demon dead fucking on, slamming him into the other wall, Nucleo then within that second, goes over to his nightstand, slams the drawer open and pulls out what looks like a pepper spray of some sort, the shadowdemon gets up, sees this and just laughs as Nucleo just death glares at him)

Shadowdemon:(highly amused)Pepper spray? Really? You think that's gonna fucking help you?

Nucleo:(death glaring)Fuck around and find out if this really is pepper spray or not then…Promise you, you'll fucking regret it.

Shadowdemon:(snarls, his teeth jagged as he sneers)Figured I'd have to do this hard way…Just how i fucking like it…Organ shanking it is…

(The demon approaches and Nucleo does not hesitate, proceeding to full spray blast him with sulfuric acid, the demon immediately recoiling and screaming in pain. Nucleo takes this chance to try and flee his apartment as the demon reels from the acid attack. Nucleo finds out though…There was more then one as another shadowdemon drops from his celling and grabs him around the neck, pushing a cloth to his face…Nucleo just fucking death glares at the other attacker.)

Nucleo:(breaking out of the grasp)Did you seriously just try to chloroform me???

Shadowdemon:(staring confused)Yeah!!! Why the hell didn't it work???

Nucleo:(death glaring)I'm a radiation mer you fucking idiot!!!!!

Shadowdemon:(taken aback)I thought you said he was a plant mer!!!!!

Injured shadowdemon:(his face peeling off, in pain as he comes to)I thought he was!!!! Goddamnit!!!!(within seconds, he springs into the air and lunges at Nucleo again, ready to shank him) Nucleo:(he dodges, the shadowdemon missing and then full speeds it out the door, now running for his life…) ----------- Idea of a more action-y scene. Also one with Nucleo!! Despite being weaker powered, Nucleo knows his way around a fight lol...He's kinda had to being around OH so much... Also that is a thing that comes up at points, alot of people think Nucleo is a plant mer (probably cuz all the green lol) but uhhh no, he absolutely immune to your poisons and toxic bullshit lol... I have another scene idea i wanna show that kinda hooks up to this one so uno momento por favor lol https://www.tumblr.com/sharksa-shivers/730057989667651584/oh-damn-some-meforia-content-o-shit-lol?source=share Link to other bit lol

#kidnappedseries #kidnappedseries dialog stuff #Nucleo #Nucleotitan

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eviltiddyprodnz · 1 year

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xo kitty : episode 3

the amount of grass and laws on the terrace in this city drone shot 🫨

dae's house is actually beautiful

aww his sister is adorable and already teasing him 💀

did his dad not hear his daughter practically yelling dae's business

aww he's a sweet dad but tell him what they're making you do babe 😭

he's got the sweetest little voice with his sister. is she named Bora 🚨💜!?!

'i already get made fun of school anyway' my baby 😭😭😭 everything in this show is so casually said 💀 protect Bora please

'kitty you're still here' i got excited thinking he's going to talk and he's just changing to leave 😭✋

they're both pulling off shirts so well. i could never

they're having an honest conversation 🙏🙏🙏. I SAID IT TOO FAST for once let him complete his point about Yuri ffs

the weird voiceover mixing is here again

kitty :(

my girl Yuri being ignored by her girlfriend NOOOO 😩. her calling her dad daddy still gets me 💀✋the mom has a such a soothing voice. literally what could've happened with kitty's mom to be this weird with her years later. I'm sure it's something unserious.

people never knock anymore. my girl was robbed off of a kiss and is now being ignored 😭

not to jinx but the pacing has gotten better

Yuri baring her emotional soul on a simple walk to the school. Hug her 😭😭😭 oh my god I'll get into my screen and smack the paparazzi away!

aww he's giving her a piggy back ride. dae for president! he is also never getting kitty back 😭

Julianna came back !!! but for a second the white raincoat made my girl look like a kidnapper !

don't worry Yuri! one thing about sapphics they make it through distance and time 🙏💕

she changed her expression so fast nooo Julianna don't leave !!!

no this Australian teacher about to be Kitty's only friend in school 💀😭

They're reading Almond !??

Kitty losing the smart kid card as she moves, relatable 😭

the cafeteria scene just reminds me of someone posting that the thing they found very unrelatable about this show was her getting 1 cupcake in the school lunch 💀

why are they just saying rude loud mean things about her to her face ??? at least other shows make it more acting than words

damn Kitty and Dae have been together for years? gotta watch the third movie now

the Dae actor is cute as heck even Kitty's melting

Kitty please settle in before trying to be a match maker i beg. 😩🙏 unless Florian turns out to be her tutor, then we can work with this

wait what if her mom had a crush on Kitty's mom that would actually slay!

he's so happy to get his sister shoes😩💜

okay Australian teacher, you're funny. you've got my vote

just breathe and let poopy baby slide🧘

I knew she was going to get on Q's side by matchmaking but slay !!!

Oh the poopy baby actually was a thing that others knew about. 💀 I thought she actually meant it as a drag.

Yuri has a point but Dae really is never gonna get with Kitty like this. Nooo

he made that decision immediately 😩 now I gotta get off team Dae. like Minho has been a jerk from the first mircosecond and you've not been there for her or honest to got here but one slip and you're removing the necklace and breaking up!?? JAIL

She's taking a photo with the Grade 11 board. The tradition is still alive and well

I think your mom or her friend had a baby here but plot twist !!!!

it's getting fun!

#xo kitty #it's getting interesting babes #episode 3 #goodbye dae

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hoppkorv · 1 year

Note

For Ask thing: C.W.Stoneking - Love me or die

Yin Yin - One inch punch

Shakey Graves - Roll the bones

Khruangbin - Maria Tambien

Ron Gallo - Young lady you're scaring me

The Kills- Future starts now

(just couple if songs from my Spotify playlist)

HEY WHOEVER YOU ARE if you’re comfortable with it, can you PLEASE send me the link to this playlist????? Sweet holy god your music taste… unmatched

Answer under the cut because it’s long:

The Love Me Or Die // C.W. Stoneking

Rating: 8.5/10

Favorite lyrics: “Lord, word broke through the town / That a fever strike Matilda down / Nine-thirty, the doctor arrive / Priest come running, quarter to five”

HE’S AUSTRALIAN?????? Sooooo wild, this could have come straight out of New Orleans omg…. This song fucks immeasurably

One Inch Punch // YĪN YĪN

Rating: 9.5/10

Favorite lyrics: “Be formless, shapeless / Like water”

OMG!!! This is sooooo good. In the last few years the Dutch have really been coming out with some incredible music… I’m a really big fan of Altın Gün, and this song really reminds me of them, what with the taking music from another part of the world and making it their own/modernizing it. I’m so going to check out more of this group.

Roll The Bones // Shakey Graves

Rating: 6/10

Favorite lyrics: “They say someday everybody dies alone / But hey, who knows”

I’m not really a fan of his singing, but I like the layered vocal effect. Overall I like this song, especially the guitar. And my favorite lyric subject ever in songs is gambling, so this definitely checks that box.

Maria También // Khruangbin

Rating: 8/10

Favorite lyrics: N/A

Omg I love Khruangbin! I hadn’t listened to this song before; I love it! I love their world music sensibilities…. This one smacks for real, gonna check out the rest of the album.

Young Lady You’re Scaring Me // Ron Gallo

Rating: 8.5/10

Favorite lyrics: “Remember that time you wrote me 200 letters / Never once to a single reply? / Remember they all referenced a love that wasn't real? / Considering we talked maybe one or two times”

LOVE THIS! This song has such a 60s garage sound, I love it!!!!! Also he has a very Bob Dylan-like lyric delivery. Definitely checking out more from this dude.

Future Starts Slow // The Kills

(I think this is what you meant, I couldn’t find a song by them called “Future Starts Now”)

Rating: 10/10

Favorite lyrics: “No longing for the moonlight / No longing for the sun”

Sweet holy god…… brb only listening to this song for the rest of my life…. I’m obsessed with this song. It reminds me musically of the album “Take It To The Spotlight” by Marc Moreland (of Wall of Voodoo) but this is executed way better. The vocals remind me of X. Honestly this song sounds so amazing omg.

#seriously whoever you are you just introduced me to some really incredible stuff #thank you!!❣️❣️❣️

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softboydrew · 3 years

Text

y/n needs to get her license and drew loves making fun of her

is y/n embarrassed that she doesn’t have her license at twenty-two years old? Kinda?

she lives in nyc so she never thought she’d need a car, so sue her if she never got around to it.

“I think it would be a good idea to get my license?” y/n said to drew one weekend when she came to visit him in his hometown.

of course she knows how to drive!! but drew insisted on taking her out for “practice runs”

“I’m not incompetent” she’d roll her eyes and he’d laugh.

“Stop filming me! My god!” She’d yell when he’d pull out his camera for “the trilogy of y/n’s license journey”.

OF COURSE he wouldn’t stop, and just poke fun at her with his famous Australian accent “oh wow guys! We have an y/n out of her natural habitat” -SMACK- followed by y/n.

“so does this mean you want to move here with me?”

remember: they often argue about who will move in with who.

y/n is a nervous driver but she’s SO good at parallel parking.

“and that’s on being a New Yorker!” She’d say proudly.

constant coffee runs where they’d race to the drivers side.

y/n loves watching drew drive and he’s just so attractive when he wears his rings and grips on her thigh.

swoon central when he sings along to the radio.

“I don’t know where I’d be without rear view cameras” she’d say making drew roll his eyes.

Constant speed rounds of flash cards everyday for two weeks before she took her test.

“I’m not even gonna get a car when I pass, I live in the city” y/n would groan.

“When you move in with me you’ll need one” and of course she’d bite her tongue at his comment.

When test day finally rolls around drew is her biggest fan, like he always is.

Y/n is definitely nervous and drew can see it in the way she can’t stop touching the radio, or the air conditioner on the way to the testing site.

“You got this, pretty girl!!”

tagged: @kid90

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wroteclassicaly · 3 years

Text

My Cabin

(Stan Vogel x Reader)

Warnings : PWP, spanking, rough sex, language, vaginal sex, all that good stuff.

Pairings : Stan Vogel x Female!Reader

A/N : Y’all, I cannot express how much my heart is happy right now! The content we got (even if small) felt right. Cody in the AHS world. I love Stan! I hope y’all enjoy this?

It’s a porn without plot, basically, lol. It’s unedited, but I’ll probably edit later. I have lots more Stan ideas to go! Love y’all! ❤️

~*~

You didn’t want to do this. Did anyone really enjoy camping, or was it just you that dreaded it with every fiber of your depression-cloaked being? Your bestfriends had dragged you all the way out here, insisting it would be one hell of a ‘good time’.

“So, that’s smoking weed and getting drunk? Why can’t we do that at home?” You’d all but whined.

“Because it’s boring going to the same hangouts every night, Y/N. And out here? We don’t have to worry about cops n’ shit.” Your best-friend’s boyfriend had spoken from the front, fingers resting idly on the leather steering wheel of his 2015 Range Rover.

You loathed that car with a passion. It rubbed you the wrong way.

“Aren’t there park rangers out here though?” Was your retort.

“Get off it, Y/N. Chill the fuck out and pull that stick out of your ass, and quit acting like the good girl.”

“She doesn’t act.” Your best-friend had smirked.

“Fuck you both! All this is going to end up being is one big fat fucking cliche.” You crossed your arms and laced on some hefty sarcasm. “Trying to scare each other. Fucking in the woods, all that good shit. That’s crap that teenagers do, not grown ass adults like we’re supposed to be. Or... some of us.”

“Who the hell are you gonna fuck, babe? When was your last date again...?” Your bestie’s boyfriend had cackled at his own statement.

“Yeah, whatever.” You let yourself remain silent, not taking the bait. You just needed to get through these next two days and you could go back to reading fanfiction, masturbating your irritation out, and ignoring all social invites ever again.

Everyone worked together to set the three tents up, your other close friends texting before the signal went a little static that they would be in later on in the evening with more food and liquor. You didn’t care to make yourself aware of what your bestfriend was currently doing in her tent, so you made yourself a deal to at least try a solo hike. Hopefully there wouldn’t be any damned rattlesnakes. Gripping your sunglasses, you peel open your friend’s discarded off brand handbag, stealing her pack of Marlboro Reds.

The party scene might not be entirely for you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy some good ol’ enriching nicotine when you desire it. You light up as you take the trail you came into, pocketing the lighter and smoke pack in your jeans, head tilting to catch the crisp summer breeze that carries in the scent of a promising surprise : rain. You’re elated, already relaxing with your walk.

The sun quickly becomes overcast, the tall treetops swaying a melodic pre-show performance. This is something you can appreciate. A crackling thunder quivers in the mountains, encasing you into a bewilderment. It’s loud and it’s coming. Caught up, you comedically fall off your path and run smack dab into a water pump, dropping your cherry onto the ground.

“Fuck me...” You grip the warm metal handle, allowing yourself a palmful to douse your face cool.

“Those things result in forest fires. It’s one of the leading causes in our planet’s fucked up climate. People like you just continue to contribute to it by shitting all over the earth.” Sounds an Australian - tacked voice, smothered in a delicious depth.

Your anger is on the back burner the moment you see the face that goes with his voice. Tall, clean shaven, sharp jawline, short, slicked back, chocolate brown hair, muscular form fitted by a leather belt, tight green khakis, then there’s that see through white tee below the top layer. A gold name tag catches the light against one of the breast pockets. Stan Vogel. The drool is probably imminent, and that means you have to say something.

“Who are you? Smokey-the-fucking-Bear?” You snap, trying to keep your cool. This man is someone you couldn’t have imagined in your wildest panty - dripping fantasies.

He looks incredulous for a moment, but then it’s gone, leaving in place a very cocky devilish sneer.

“I’m the person that makes sure you’re kept safe.” He puts a chained emphasis on the last word, pushing past you and climbing a stair case that you are now embarrassingly aware is in front of your face - attached to a huge cabin. A streak of lighting crackles across the valley, Stan outstretching his large hand for you to take.

“Come on then. You’re a bit far from your campsite. You’ll never make it in time before you get soaked.”

You take his fingers in a lace - up, a smacking ache attaching itself directly to your cunt.

Fuck me, I thought park rangers were fat and balding?

Stan leads you up the wooden staircase and into a door. That California wind picks up the storm to the forefront and brings in gusting winds, shrouding you in that earthy, wet scent, Stan’s softly spicy aftershave hints prickling through in a welcomed addition. The cabin is large and covered in typical furnished items. It’s nothing you haven’t seen on documentaries or the news. You perch yourself on the leather couch, awaiting his proud presence.

He comes to settle eye level to you, still watching you on observation. You can’t take this silence, not even as the rain patters the windows in a veering violence.

“How did you know where my tent was?” You’re curious, a little paranoid.

He almost giggles, shaking his head. “I saw you and your mates come in. Fucking hate that car you’re driving too.”

“Isn’t it ridiculous? I don’t like it for some odd reason.” You share in a bite-back, more comfortable now.

“Storm’s really pickin’ up out there. Looks like you’re stuck with me for a while.” He moves with a cat-like ease to the window, those digits prying the curtain away to see the rain drops.

Your heart beat begins a full speed ahead gallop, breath getting lodged in broken pieces in your throat. You have to move, have to walk this fucking tingling frustration off. You head to the window that is opposite his, busying yourself by watching outside too. That doesn’t last long, a warmth drafting itself in a drape across your back. You feel as if you’re dreaming.

Your legs are like jello limbs, unmovable and cloudy soft. Stan cages you in, gently prying you in a turn by your wrists. He’s fucking tall, towering your frame. A trembling gasp escapes you, and Stan steps back a little. You mewl in outward disappointment, shocking yourself.

“Look, I don’t want to scare you, so tell me to hit the stairs if you don’t want this. But you’re literally squirming here, and that says to me that you either want to get the hell out of this station, or you want me to unbuckle my belt and fuck you against this wall.” He raises a brow, his forearm pressing into the space above you.

You close your eyes, on fire in a drenched need to be taken and fucked until you can’t walk and there isn’t an inch of your ass that isn’t bruised or bleeding.

Why the fuck not? I deserve this.

Your fingertips pinch his name tag. “Okay, Stan. Show me a good time.”

He scoops a strong arm underneath your knees, bending you into a drag that lands you bent over the couch. You’re struggling to breathe that it sounds like you’re panting, akin to some wild beast. That authoritative figure is draping himself across your back, easing his firm hands into your blouse, caressing up and down your spine, coaxing a line of goosebumps underneath your bra’s band.

“Can I take your pants off...” He breaks to seek out your name, making you punch out a laugh.

“It’s Y/N.”

“Pretty name.” He coos, heeding your nod and discarding your jeans in a pile on the wood floor.

“Beautiful ass.” He palms it in strokes, then smacks a cheek so hard that you yelp.

“It’s such a shame that I have to beat it for almost destroying an acre of wooded land.” Another feral hit. “If I didn’t keep any order around here, then what would happen?”

You don’t answer right away, causing Stan to be displeased. He snarls into his next motion, exclaiming a series of heavy-handed hits across both cheeks. There’s no choice but to take what he gives you, your panties ruined and soaked, that uncomfortable wetness making itself known each time you move. You’re shaking and whimpering, quivering to a charging cry by the time his punishment resigns.

“Get up.” He wraps your hair around his fist, shoving you in a clumsy stumble into the cabin wall. “I’m the law around here, Y/N. You gonna respect that? You gonna take me?” His hot mouth takes your answer captive, teeth sinking into your bottom lip and pulling until you feel the skin shred.

“Fuck, Stan. Yeah... yeah-“ He grips your cunt roughly, ending your answer, his fingers rubbing your clit through sopping fabric. He hums against your mouth, his cock straining roughly in those khakis.

You’re buzzing, melting into a lava pit that is buried inside of you. There’s a desperation that plows down rationality (as if that’s been here so far...), and you’re ripping his uniform off his chest to get a good eye full of that white t-shirt. You lick your lips appreciatively, helping him work your panties off your body, his shirt parading through the air along with the other garments. It’s like a race against time after his khakis are all that remain. You’re lifting your right leg to slot around his hips, trying to work briskly to help him untangle the leather clasp and shove down his green pants and boxers.

His cock is thick. Really fucking big and ready to pound your limits to hell and back. He keeps you pinned to the wall, pupils slicing through his beautiful eyes to convey his carnal aggression. He licks his own hand several times over, then motions for you to spit in it. You don’t take your eyes off him as he jerks his cock to get it wetter for you.

You indulge in grasping his hand, fascinated as he lifts your arms to be pinned above your head. He keeps his hand in yours - pressed, present. His eyes seek yours and that’s all it takes. He’s parting your sticky folds and edging himself inside in a wide stretching sheath. It’s so damned hot and slippery, painful and fanning flames inside, that tears prick the corners of your vision.

“You’re a tight girl... Fuck. You won’t be able to walk when you leave my cabin.” He moans.

“Then you better get to work.” You tug him for another kiss, his hips working to help his vigorous thrusts, slamming your ass into the wall each time.

There’s a thunderstorm beyond these walls, but the crude sound of Stan fucking you into them - that’s the loudest thing that exists. It hurts so bad that you enjoy it all the more, your nails scratching his back to claim and mark. Your pussy is throbbing and tightening around him, coating him in each venture. You can’t stop yourself once that tightening in your abdomen begins its steady peak. Your skin flushes in dusts of red and pink, your cheeks scorching.

“You’re coming already?” He’s sassy and losing his steady pumps.

You don’t speak, it’s not within your capabilities right at this instance. Stan makes you meet his gaze, wondering, moving torturously slow. You can hear his dick sloshing your arousal around, driving you mad.

“Do it. Cover my fucking cock.” He orders, giving sporadic rubs over your clit, hurtling you up and down the canyon you two have built here.

It all spills out of you and you scream his name, eyesight dotting swimming with shapes, body going slack into Stan. He fucks his hips into you more steadily, dipping to hold, and then you’re filled with his warm cum. You cradle his neck’s nape, sliding into the floor in a mess. Stan kisses your lips, brushing your sweaty hair off your perspiration stamped temple.

“I’ve never fucked someone randomly before.” He chortles, smiling at you with a brightness.

You ease into his side in a perfect fit, enjoying the rain and sated bones in your sore body. “Is it something I did to make you do that?”

He purses his mouth, nosing your neck, smashing his nose over yours. “What can I say, baby, you bring out the feral side of me.”

Stan’s park ranger pretties tag list :

@icylangdon @littledemondani @fckinsupreme @lovelylangdonx @instinctsxbaby @infernwetrust @bloodcoatedeclipse @plymptxn-reborn @langdxn @ferndolan @celestialrequiem @codyfernuk @dailylangdon @ritualmichael @xavierplympton @dark-mei-rose @xavier-plymptons @9layerdevilfoodcake @angelicmichael @sojournmichael @langdonsjoyy @wormycircumstance @ramona-thorns

#ahs fic #ahs fanfiction #ahs #ahsfx #american horror stories #american horror story #ahstories #stan vogel #kristenwrites #stan vogel x reader #stan vogel x you

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kaiqarker · 3 years

Text

the watchtower’s lighthouse | stan vogel

pairing: stan vogel x reader

warnings: smut, swearing

summary: months after a disasterous first date with stan vogel, your paths cross once more when you’re lost within the depths of kern canyon national park during a thunderstorm and stan happens to have inherited a shift patrolling from the watchtower.

a/n: back from the dead because of this man. hope y’all enjoy :)

THE SKY EMULATED STAN VOGEL'S morals, consisting of gray unpredictability. If he was within the familiar walls of his assigned cabin, located along the grounds of Kern Canyon National Park, it would be an indication he wouldn't have to do much patrolling. Campers usually stayed put if there was rainfall, sticking to their own site and not off doing God knows what to the land Stan takes pride in preserving. Cascading a thick husk of superiority and knowledge was his favorite thing about the job, which is why he was disappointed he was stuck maintaining the watchtower for tonight.

The surveillance for the watchtower was run by a tight knit schedule of volunteers and the occasional firefighter that needed a change of scenery for a couple days. Needless to say with all the strange occurrences and sightings, there have been less and less people willing to take on the task. And now the duty was bestowed upon the park ranger— at least for tonight. He swore to himself that at sunrise he would be out of there and back to being the persistent, vexing gum stuck to the bottom of everyone's shoe.

Stan now sat in a wobbly chair, feet propped up on the desk and his trusty binoculars in hand. His surroundings were darkening, quicker than they would at his cabin because of the parade of trees towering over the area. He could mostly only see shadows and the outlines of the forest. His paranoia kept him on the lookout, knowing all too well what kind of perilous entities the park harbored, dark secrets he was trusted in keeping.

It was why his body jolted and he nearly fell out of his seat at a sign of movement. His hands itched to drop the binoculars and reunite with the shotgun propped up in the corner. His burst of anxiety was halted, however, once the lenses revealed a person. A wandering, soaked person clearly becoming victim to the thunderstorm that had been periodically easing and worsening for the past two hours.

Stan stood, walking over to the window with his binoculars hanging from the strap around his neck. He easily pried it open and stuck out his head. The drizzle of rain didn't reach him because of the roof stretching out along the perimeter of the watchtower, but he still felt the dip in the temperature. He estimated that it had dropped at least fifteen degrees since the start of the storm, the disappearance of the sun only escalating the drafty change.

He was about to shout down at what is most certainly a woman who had strayed too far from her campsite but then she twisted around, finally noticing the light emitting from up above. Recognization crumbles both of their attentive expressions. She becomes more than a drenched, carmine tank top, huddled body, and ropes of wet hair. He transforms into the exact opposite of a saving grace when his beige uniform and ironically angelic face are perceived.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is. Stalking your ex, eh?" Stan called down to her. The pattern of swift and drawned out words, swirled into a provoking and often mocking Australian accent, reached her ears over the light patter of rainfall.

She sighed, dramatically enough for Stan to see the rise and fall of her diaphragm. She considered turning around and braving the unknown of the wilderness again. If it wasn't for her sore feet and her prediction that she would develop some sort of hyperthermia if she stayed out in the cold, then she would've already been on her way.

"We went out on one date. You don't count as an ex," she clarified, craning her neck up at him. His smirk from knowing she was in a miserable condition and that he was the only one that could do anything about it ignited the first sense of heat she had felt in awhile. Her fists clenched against her crossed arms. "And you're the one with the pervy binoculars. On the prowel for half-naked campers, are you?"

He scoffed, winding his head to the side for a moment. "Enough with the bullshit. Are you coming up or not?"

In any other situation, he probably would've dragged their reunion out, teased her for being so helpless and naive. But she was shivering and looked so small curling into herself; it was a sight that played his heartstrings like a mystical harp. Even after a date gone wrong and the resentment that followed, he couldn't bare to see her like this.

She, on the other hand, still clung to some hesitation. Cozying up in a small, confined space with Stan where there were no other people around to ground her into the realms of sanity wasn't a compelling option. The both of them simply didn't get along. The nightmare of their date was very vivid in her mind, too, and she didn't want tonight to be a repeat of that.

Almost like nature could sense her doubts, thunder crackled and reverberated around the forest. Lightning flashed, incandescent and forbiding. The rain intensified, hitting her bare skin with a harsh force. Muddy shoes stumble forward a few steps but still don't gravitate towards the ladder.

"Better move your ass, sweetheart! Unless you'd prefer to get struck by lightning? Not to mention all the dangerous things lurking around that you haven't the slightest idea about."

Undeniable complacency was weaved into his taunt. However, it did get her moving. If she would've bothered to look up or if there wasn't such vast distance between them from their differing heights, she might've seen the concern nestled into glimmering, cobalt eyes.

Suffering through a climb where her wobbly legs and white knuckles were put the use, she eventually made it to top. Stan already had the latch swung open, bent down in the center of the room and waiting for her with an outstretched arm. Reluctantly, she took his offered hand and allowed him to pull her inside the watchtower.

"Crickey, you're freezing," he murmured. There was a softness to his features and the low timber of his voice. He'd even began rubbing over her fingers with his own, attempting to summon some warmth back into him, before he realized what he was doing and backed away.

"That's what happens when you get lost and separated from your friends and then get caught up in a storm," she summed up, monotonous.

"Your friends are idiots," Stan muttered.

She was about to deter the insults back his way until she suddenly felt a subtle weight on her shoulders. The scent combination of spearmint gum and lingering campfire smoke was sensed with a mere sniffle, and soon her hands were reaching up to pull on the sage green trim of his coat.

"You don't even know them," she settled for saying.

"They let you get lost, didn't they?" Stan's eyes found her wide ones, squinting slightly in familiar anger, but she could tell—this time at least—it wasn't directed towards her. "Yeah, bunch of mates, they are."

It was her turn to break the intimacy blossoming between them. She disconnects their stare that was inevitably going to convey all the unspoken feelings that still flourished inside of her to spare a glance over his shoulder. The furnace filled with a burning stack of dry wood lures her away from Stan, and she kneels down in front of it.

His hands go to his belt, elbows bent outward like he was posing as a chicken. He was unsettled by how consumed he was by his emotions. He wanted to give her space but then he finds himself reaching for her. He wanted to remain civil but the distaste in her tone and her infuriating, unreasonable glare casted towards him causes him to delve into his own hostile urges. The confusion of what to do and how to deal with her presence was boardering on insufferable.

But facing her, watching her beneath the firelight, the strain of his internal compass ebbed. He was no longer directionless or purposeless. The orange glare enducing a riveting shine to her hair and her tranquil countenance she upheld gazing into the flames had him feeling certain in just about every single thing that made the universe, the universe.

"You're staring," she whispers, a tremble in her reply she blames on recovering from the weather.

"And you won't even look over at me for a second." His observation coaxes her into peering at him, finding that he enclosed the distance between them by a few steps. A playful smile twitches across his lips. "What? Don't like a man in uniform?"

"I wouldn't be bragging about your outfit, Stan. You're a glorified Boy Scout," she remarks, rising from her position on her knees. Her thumb and pointer finger pinch the small, golden slate pinned to his shirt. "Even have badges and everything,"

"Get your grubby little hands away from my name tag. You're gonna smudge it," he grumbles, smacking her hand away; she lets out a humorless, short-lived laugh at his overreaction.

"Still an uptight asshole, I see."

"Still a mouthy brat, then?"

His retort makes her face harden. "Being honest doesn't make me a mouthy brat."

"Just inconsiderate?"

"You're preaching to me about being inconsiderate? You live off of ridiculing people. On our date, you insulted and humiliated our waiter because he didn't know the exact species of deer mounted to the wall."

"I was just taking a moment to educate him!"

"You called him a fumbling idiot who didn't know the basic fundamentals of biology!"

"Oh, like you were any better! Shoving your tits into the bartender's face to get free drinks!" He throws his hands up, easily overtaken by frustration and unresolved jealously.

"I know how much you make, Stan. You should be thanking me for that," she says slowly, deliberately, bringing up the one thing she knows will push him over the edge. He takes the bait, but she doesn't expect what he throws back at her.

"You're right. Thank you, sweetheart, for acting like such a slut on our first date that all anyone had to do for dessert was crouch down between your open legs."

Her mouth dropped at his statement. His exasperation dissolves to shock at processing his own harsh comment. He isn't able to focus on it for long, though, because she properly acts by allowing her palm to connect to his cheek.

Head snapped to the side, he can begin to taste a droplet of blood on his tongue, emitting from where his incisor pinched his bottom lip. He licks over the minor wound thoughtfully, heaving out a breath of false amusement. When he looks at her again, his face is dark and full of cruel intentions of revenge.

Stan surges forward and doesn't stop until her body crashes against the wall like she was just a bag of dismantled bones. His coat falls from her shoulders and slumps against the hardwood floor during the journey. His towering height and weight pin her in place, leaving her at the mercy of splayed hands and the relentless motions of his mouth against hers.

The awakening, leftover flavor of gum he must've chewed eariler just sinks in when he bites down hard on her lip. A whimper, the first sound she makes besides the ejection of a surprised gasp, is forced out her from the harsh gesture. A metallic taste replaces the one prior, one eager swipe of his tongue rolling past her parted lips.

The instinct to shoot her hands up and enmesh them in the soft, chestnut strands of his cropped hair is interrupted by an action of his own. He eases the intensity of the kiss, allowing her to breathe through languid, desperate puckers she reciprocates, but his fingers hook around both her bra and tank top straps, yanking them down her arms. She lifts herself out of them only to have him grasp the collar of her shirt and pull it down, her bra in tow, until they were just bundled material around her midriff.

Calloused hands fondled her breasts while his mouth diverts to her neck, sucking and nipping until her skin resembled the colorful patches of a quilt. She throws her head back against the wall, leaning into his touch and letting out the most delicate moans that had all of his blood gushing to the apex of his legs; she felt proof of it when he rutted himself against her.

Her forearms are squeezed between their bodies so she can reach the buttons of his shirt, manicured fingers working hastily and with not as much care she knew Stan would've liked, but he seemed to be too preoccupied by kissing her all over. Soon her hands were tugging up the white t-shirt he always wore underneath his uniform, and he helped her out by shifting it over his head and discarding it to the growing pile of clothes.

His chest was warm and inviting compared to hers. Her skin felt like cool marble underneath his fingertips, keeping her nipples pebbled and sweat from the heated exchange at bay. It was quite a contrast as their bodies continued to press together, her hands sliding along the expanse of his taut back while he concentrated on undoing her shorts.

"All mine," he mumbled against her jaw; it was certainly hard to disagree with him and all his handsy clutches and kisses that left her craving more.

"All yours," she confirmed softly.

The words barely left her mouth before she felt the heart-jolting sensation that was his hand sliding past her unzipped shorts and underwear. His fingers ran up and down down her folds, taking his time, ever the explorer. He often grazed her clit, encouraging her hips to arch into him for more direct contact, but he was careful to only give her a slight, fleeting amount.

"Stan." His name parted from her in a low whine—somewhat shamefully because she never thought she'd be in this circumstance, begging a hardass park ranger with a major superiority complex for a release.

"So wet for me. Awful naughty of you to get this soaked from one arguement with me, don't you think?"

She nuzzled her face into the side of his, nose brushing along his chiseled cheekbone. "Please."

"Aw, look at you. So sweet. You'd never think that you live to slander me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. I am nothing but nice to you."

"Oh?" He inserts his middle finger into her, curling it precisely, while the heel of his hand grinds against her clit with every deliberate pump.

"Yes," she gasps.

Shallow pants gradually rack through her torso, and the ache of his throbbing cock becomes unbearable at the sight of her defenseless against his advances. He adds another finger, the grip and warmth of her slick walls causing him to shudder in anticipation.

"Such a little liar," he groans out after a particularly provocative contraction around his digits, one that rids him of whatever patience he had left.

He abruptly removes his hand from her shorts, something that makes her closed eyes flicker open. Her mouth immediately morphs into a pout and she squeezes his biceps in protest.

She isn't left waiting for long, hands on her hips guiding her away from the wall until the underside of her knees hit the edge of a cot. His mouth parts from hers once more, a sweet dragging of overlapped lips exchanged during the slow steps, so he can pull back the blanket. She looks over her shoulder at the neatly presented cot, which Stan must've brought with him along with his own fitted bedspread. She was now appreciative that he always came prepared.

Without having to be told, she crawled underneath the covers after ridding herself of the remainder of her clothing. Stan did the same once she was settled, becoming the final layer that draped over her body. The blanket and the crisp white of a top sheet stopped at the dimples of his back, and she was trapped in warmth, intensified by the glorious weight of his bare body on hers. Arms on either side of her head latch the cage as he leans down for another kiss.

"Don't mistake me keeping you warm as forgiveness. I'm still very mad at you. You drive me crazy," he sighs against her jaw, his eyelashes fluttering against the apple of her cheek.

"Don't mistake me moaning for you as an apology. You don't deserve one." Her strokes at the nape of his neck never faltered. Her thighs spread, legs winding around his, desperate for him to do something with his cock that laid twitching and swollen on her navel. "Well, you might if you fuck me hard enough."

"Shut up already."

Long fingers brick over her parted mouth in time with the repositioning of his hips, muffling the cries of consumption that came from him sinking inside of her. Eyes roll to the back of her head, almost completely sated by just the feeling of being filled. The head of his shaft glided against her most sensitive spot like a brush of shoulders, and her thighs tightening around his waist was her turning around, ready to chase shattering gratification.

Although slow, his thrusts into her were brutal. They held onto to each other like you would to ropes of a ruinous bridge connecting two cliffs, like they would be faced with a plummeting death if they were to let go. And yet, they were fighting along the wobbly planks, the semicircles of hip bones clashing together like medieval swords. It was all extremes, but neither of them would have it any other way.

He was making the most beautiful sounds above her. Through his ruthless motions, were breathy moans and whines of her name, the occasional praise intertwined into his enticing responses. Eventually, he allowed his hand to stop sealing her lips, sliding it down to clutch the flesh of her thigh with the promise of bruises. Her soft pleas and moans of euphoria joined his to create a symphony worthy of a ballet orchestra.

Strings of saliva conntected rouge lips to the marked skin of his neck, where she continued to suckle and playfully nip. The roll of their bodies picked up speed, both becoming impatient by the delicious ache they kept provoking, daring one another to spasm out of control. They craved for their muscles to become a tightrope and for the most intimate parts of them to pulsate from the finality of release.

"You've never looked prettier than you do right now. Your cunt squeezing me so tight, your mouth only able to form breathless whispers... completely wrecked. I love it."

"Please," she cannot help but beg, flickering eyes undecided on whether to shut her continue their hazy, half-lidded stare into his own.

"You want to come?" The inward pull of his eyebrows and the slight curl of his parted mouth way as well have been a mocking pout. "I know you do. I shouldn't even let you, though. You've been intolerable. I should just come all over your writhing body and leave you here without any satisfaction. Even if you were to finish yourself off, it wouldn't be enough. It would only feel subpar, and you know that, don't you?" His breath fans her face like the furnace had moments ago, and she can only whimper in reply. "Only I can sate you, sweetheart."

Her hands, whose nails had already inflicted damage to the freckled canvas of his back, sweep over his shoulders to cup his jaw. Her thumb strokes his jawline while the other ventures down the column of his throat, feeling the bob of his adam's apple with every constristing swallow he took. She could tell he was close, too, and decided to nod her head gently in agreement to his words, to wave her white flag.

Her surrender is reassured by fingertips dragging down her torso to her enlarged clit, granting bone-vanishing swipes that causes stuttered gasps and limbs going slack. It only takes a few seconds of coaxing rubbing for her release to erupt, the molten lava bursting from the pit of her stomach to electrify just about every nerve in her body. Her encompassing walls clutch around him so tightly that it summons a delirious climax from him.

His strenuous pace wavers, his hold on the cot becoming prudent, as if it was a buoy keeping him afloat through the thrashing waves of pleasure. White, sticky ribbons coat the inside of her thighs, and it's only when his heartbeat ebbs from his eardrums that he cracks his eyes open and collaspes into the small remaining space between her and the wall.

Stan speaks after catching his breath, remaining pants interwoven into his declaration. "This should've happened sooner."

"It would've if you weren't such a prick," she noted, sparing him a quick glance.

"Okay, maybe... I wasn't on my best behavior. But I was nervous. I liked you a lot. I wanted to impress you."

"And you thought bragging about how you're a know-it-all when it comes to plants and wildlife and the park's terrain was going to the trick?"She questioned, snorting at his logic. His nose twitch, an indicator of embarrassment, and she grabs his arm and tucks herself into his side. "You're such a dork."

He smiled at the gesture before she continued, "I'm sorry that I flirted with the bartender. I didn't mean to make you feel like you were second best or anything. Honest to God, I just wanted free stuff."

"Well, the cream puffs you got out of it were actually delicious," Stan admitted, tilting his head in her direction.

She smiled back at him. "I know, right?"

Stan may not be a prime example of a good guy but he had always took glory in being good at his job. That's what kept him going, that's what fueled him all these years. Now, he was considering what life entailed outside of that. Outside of the stressful responsibilities and government conspiracies and the never-ending studious tendencies. She came to him for refuge tonight, but, the truth is, he had been relying on her for a long time. To fascinate him, to stand up to him, to guide him back to where he belonged.

He felt like he was finally pursuing something that was more important than his duties here, than anything else he's ever experienced. He was an off-bound ship, cruising blind into the dead of the night, and she was a lighthouse, promising purpose and salvation from every bad thing that ever tried to sink him.

// idk who to tag but i think @sojournmichael @fckinsupreme & @instinctsxbaby might be interested (you’re all so talented)!

#ahs #cody fern #american horror story #american horror stories #stan vogel #stan vogel smut #cody fern smut #xavier plympton smut #ahs stories #stan vogel x reader

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blackacre13 · 2 years

Note

Debbie fucking Lou in both holes with the strap at the same time and maybe the team walks in is absolutely scandalized?

“You ever gonna come out from under there?” Debbie giggled, poking at the lump of comforter that Lou had taken to residing under for almost an hour this morning.

“No,” Lou sighed. “I’m hiding from my responsibilities.”

“You’re also hiding from your girlfriend,” Debbie pointed out, unable to help herself when it came to teasing the blonde. She attempted to tickle what she hopes was Lou’s ticklish back under the blanket.

“You’re one of my responsibilities,” Lou grumbled, trying not to laugh as she smirked beneath the comforter.

“Hey!” The brunette exclaimed, smacking at the material blindly.

“When I don’t look after you, you wind up dating stubble-covered gross men or wasting away in a prison cell,” Lou grinned, able to duck away from the other woman before the next swat came.

“You say that like it’s a common occurrence,” Debbie snorted.

“Well, we’ll never have the chance to find out now, will we?” Lou grinned, allowing her head to peek out from the comforter as she tried and failed to blow her bangs out of her eyes with a piss poor huff. “It’s too early to be this stressed.”

“When you leave a 23-year-old in charge of your club, it’s almost guaranteed,” Debbie grimaced.

“Yeah,” Lou snorted. “Wouldn’t have anything to do with the added bonus of trying to pull off a world-renowned jewel heist and getting reacquainted with the love of your life under wraps, hiding from your co-conspirators.”

“Not at all,” the brunette winked. “But come on, I know it’s stressful. But you were looking forward to this as a test run. Trying your hand at delegating and testing out possible people to take over management so you can distance yourself from the club a bit. Spend more time with your wife maybe.”

“I don’t see a ring, Ocean,” Lou sighed dramatically, waving around her unadorned fingers in the air as Debbie barreled forward, throwing herself on top of the blonde as she squeezed her tight, the Australian letting out breathy, strained laughs below her. “I guess you on top of me is a good a start as any.”

“More where that came from,” Debbie giggled, rolling off the blonde as she lay beside her for a moment. “On a scale from one to ten, how stressed would you say you are?”

“Meaning what?” The blonde asked, raising an eyebrow as she peered at her partner suspiciously.

“Well, the last time you were really stressed, I seem to remember it helped when I…”

“When you,” Lou prompted, looking confused as the brunette merely waited in silence, letting the air between them settle until Lou’s blue eyes flashed with recognition, her mouth opening slightly as she let out a quiet, “Oh.”

“That,” Debbie confirmed, elbowing the blonde as she gave her a grin. “Think it might help?”

Lou looked up at her partner with a shy grin, tucking half her face behind the blanket as she gave an excited nod.

“Okay,” Debbie grinned, patting the blonde’s thigh. “I’ll be right back, love.”

Debbie gave Lou a quick peck on the forehead before crawling out of bed and disappearing into their closet as Lou hummed in satisfaction, stripping off her sports bra and wiggling out of her boxers as she kept herself cozy under the covers, licking her lips in anticipation.

“Ready?” Debbie called out a few minutes later as Lou nodded eagerly.

“God, yes,” the blonde laughed, looking over in time to see Debbie emerge with one of their dildos swinging between her legs, holding something behind her back, her own clothes abandoned aside from the straps of the harness and a wine-colored lace bra.

“Did you want to stay cozy under the blanket or—“

“I want to see you,” Lou breathed, holding out her hand as Debbie took it before swinging her leg over the blonde, settling on the bed as Lou kicked the covers off of them, running her hands up and down the brunette’s waist as she hummed. “Do you have any idea how absolutely beautiful you are?”

“There’s this blonde who reminds me every once in a while,” Debbie whispered with a smirk.

“Well she’s not doing it often enough,” Lou murmured, pulling Debbie down against her for a searing kiss as the brunette moaned against her.

“I’m nothing compared to you, baby,” Debbie groaned, running her fingers through Lou’s folds, her eyes fluttering as Lou peppered kisses down her neck and chest, sighing at the feel of Debbie teasing her. “You’re already so wet.”

“Because I can’t wait to have you inside me,” Lou whispered. “No one makes me wet like you do, Debs.”

“Fuck, you’re hot,” Debbie growled, pushing her fingers deep inside Lou as she cried out. “I can’t wait to stretch you out. Hear you moaning my name. Making you feel good.”

“Shit, Debs.”

“You ready for me?” Debbie whispered, running her index finger along Lou’s ass as the blonde nodded desperately.

“Please,” Lou whimpered, gasping as Debbie pushed inside her, starting to pump her index finger slowly as the blonde hissed, rolling her hips up against Debbie, desperate to feel Debbie between her folds again, but enjoying the stretch of Debbie working her ass. “More, honey.”

Debbie added another finger, pumping slowly into her as Lou moaned, pulling Debbie’s strap towards her greedily, starting to drag the silicon dildo through her folds teasingly, rubbing it up and down against her as Debbie moaned with her. “You’re so sexy, Lou. You take me so good, baby.”

“More,” the blonde gasped, letting Debbie stretch her wide with three fingers as she moaned, feeling heat bloom around Debbie’s fingers.

“Ready?” Debbie murmured, Lou unsure what she was asking, but trusting her nonetheless as she panted out a small “yes” feeling Debbie’s fingers pull out for a moment only to be replaced with a smaller dildo, Lou opening up for it as Debbie pushed it in with a groan, twisting it as she watched the moment for a moment as Lou adjusted before she left it inside, stopping Lou’s motions with the strap so she could take over, starting to push slowly into the blonde as she moaned, pumping in and out, deeper and deeper.

“Fuck,” Lou panted as Debbie started to Fuck her deeper, picking up the pace with the strap as their hips starting slamming into each other, Lou grabbing at the brunette, her volume starting to increase as Debbie whispered naughty things to her, the blonde right on the edge.

“Come on, baby,” Debbie whispered, her voice deep and sultry. “Come all over my strap, Lou. Make a mess for me.”

“Fuck, honey,” Lou gasped. “Debbie you feel so Fucking good.”

“Show me what a good girl you are for me,” Debbie instructed, starting to pump the other dildo in and out of Lou with her hand as she let her hips pick up speed, Fucking Lou with the strap ever deeper. “Come all over my strap, baby. Let go, Lou.”

“Oh, god,” Lou sobbed, clawing at the brunette. “Oh Fuck, Fuck, Debbie.” Lou cried, falling over the edge as Debbie sank against her, Lou’s hands blindly combing through Debbie’s hair as she panted, trying to catch her breath.

“You’re so good for me,” Debbie whispered, kissing her softly. “Fuck, you’re so good for me.”

“And you two are so disgusting to me,” Tammy shrieked, the door slamming behind her as Debbie and Lou looked up in shock, exchanging looks of horror between them. “Get out! Let’s go.”

“What the hell?” Nine laughed. “Tam, calm down.”

“Calm down?” Tammy yelled, laughing maniacally.

“Dude, are they Fucking?” Constance cheered. “I totally called it.”

“Oh, dear,” Rose mumbled, followed by the sound of something rumbling and crashing. “Did you see—er—them—did you—“

“You saw them having sex?” Amita shrieked.

“Can we please leave?” Tammy cried. “And discuss anything else?”

“Well, I mean if they’re leaving,” Debbie grinned, sliding down Lou’s body as her hands found the blonde’s thigh. “Maybe I can clean you up?”

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