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livinlikebailey · 13 days

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Marauders as things my friend group has said

“Sometimes I forget how many dead people there are.” - Sirius @ Regulus during a family history lesson.

“ I’m gonna bite your toes while you’re sleeping,,, nibble, nibble, nibble” - a drunk Barty @ Evan who is ignoring him.

James: Drops phone on his face. James: claps friends theme song. James: picks phone back up like nothing happened.

“I’m a bi guy, a simple bi guy and I am 99% Lilly Evans and 1% Regulus Black.” - James Potter

“ Why do all the cute ones gotta be Deatheaters?” - Rita @ Bellatrix

“Iron chickens do not have iron testicals” - a very drunk Sirius @ an unfortunately sober Remus.

“I have decided that i am a snack it just no one is hungry” - Peter

Marlene: Climbs on train track bridge Dorcas: “Oh you are so fucking dumb, I look away for 2 seconds”

“No bite, no smile!” - Remus @ James who is trying to take a picture of him too close to the full moon.

“If i was there i’d slap her i don't care if she's 9” - Mary to lily after hearing about the shit her sister was doing to her. “James, I am a pussy.” - Peter to James about the forbidden forest.

“I would be James’ sugar bab- AHH!” - Lily about James to Mary.

“I have to go through all my saves and delete the videos of him because he turned out to be a pedophile… Hey! I had a chance with him” - Remus probably at some point.

“Was that CORPSE? Woop!” - Drunk Remus at a party.

Remus: “ughhhh” Sirius: “what?” Remus: “I hurt and I'm dying.” Sirius: “don't die, that's for kids”

Barty : sits up really quick "guys I just swallowed the nail, it's in my throat." Barty: proceeds to cough up the nail

Pandora: shows Regulus a picture she drew "this is cute" Regulus: "you're cute. wait that didn't go how I wanted it to.”

Barty: “RACCOON WORLDS DOMINATION”

Sirius: “Do I look like a freaking rat?” Regulus: ….. Sirius: “Don't answer that”

Effie: hears a song playing from james’ room “I used to listen to this song in grade school.” James: “Oh so it's really old then.”

Remus: "sips coffee stressfully"

Barty: "seductively eats toes"

Evan: "for your next random gift I'll get you a screwdriver Barty: "thanks I'm gonna kill myself with it"

Marlene: whining "mom James got me addicted to cocaine" wait I mean Crack cookies" - Marlene @ Effie

Nymphadora: tries to lick cat. Andromeda: "don't lick the kitty." Dora: proceeds to lick cat.

Barty: "school sh**tings" gives thumbs up

Sirius: shows Remus their high heels Remus: "okay whore" smacks hand over mouth "wait i- that wasn't supposed to come out" Sirius: laughs their ass off

James: yells across the store to mom “mom!" Random person at the checkout: looks at James "I am not mom."

“Effie’s a Milf” - Marlene

“I don't have nothing, other than a few std's” -Remus

“You can eat half a mermaid before you're a cannibal” - Pandora to Regulus

“Probably shouldn't be doing it but we’re definitely going to continue anyway” - Remus, Sirius, James and Peter in sync.

very confused Peter: “leprechauns don't play quidditch.”

Marlene: “like weewoo but not weewoo” exasperated and high off her ass

Sirius: “I like aids”

phone falls off bed Marlene in an Australian accent: "crikey my phone"

“I’m hooked up to so many wires i could connect to hbo on my heart monitor” - Lily on pain killers to James

"I don't think I can lick that, can I?" -Sirius playing goat simulator

watching cloudy with a chance of meatballs and it's at the part where the mayor destroys the machine and James says " I hope you see the error of your ways, you glutton!”

(talking about Cameron Monaghan) the murder child from my chemical romance - Sirius

"Fuckin’ Sirius"- Remus while asleep

Sirius "I've got middle fingers and i'm not afraid to use them" Regulus: "do it" Sirius "I’m a little afraid to use them"

Peter while asleep: groans and sits up fast James: "you okay?" Peter "not really." James: "What's wrong?" Peter: "I'm gonna have to use the loo to solve the thing."

Sirius: "So were you born in 2006, 2007?" Narcissa: "i was born in 2004" Regulus: "i don't mean this in a mean way but wow you are old"

Sirius: "I WANNA HOLD YOU" Remus "NO, LET ME MAKE COFFEE THEN YOU CAN"

Barty: "I'm gonna do a line off your dresser"

Barty: "i have a headache" pauses "and i have 2 more lines to do"

Mary: "I don't have to do acid I have the that back massager that messes with my balance receptor"

Barty: suddenly sits up Regulus: “are you okay” Barty: “i don't know, i'm just gonna go to sleep and try to see what's going on”

Barty: "Why not use a shotgun, it's easier, this is america." (was not in america)

"stop licking the oreos" - Reg @ Barty

"Do i really have to tell you not to mate with the cat"- McGonagall @ the marauders

Remus: “I can feel the brain damage,, and i've got another line”

“MY TRAUMA CAN'T HANDLE THIS!”- Sirius

“Ball licky licky titty croissant” - James trying to learn french from Regulus

“Ooo yay i love being kidnapped!”- Barty probably at some point

“The 3 c's cook, clean, cocktails”- Remus “The 3 b's bake broil blowjobs”- Sirius

“LET ME UPLOAD MY PORN DAMNIT” - Marlene probably

"Dorcas you should be my sugar mommy" - Pandora

"An air whore" Remus

"My skyrim character is Schizophrenic" - James

"I wanna blow up pumpkins, and People!!!!" -Bellatrix

"I can taste it in my eyeballs" - James

"you can't take terrorists to the airport"-Peter

"I'm really bad at swallowing" - Sirius

“you can't fuck a duck, you'd have to seduce it” - Evan

"Hey your boobs are crooked"- Marlene

"i’m sorry, i accused you of taking my grandpa" -Sirius

"im a gay virgin"-Regulus

"duck now motherfucker" Sirius @ James

"i wanna become a rug or everyone does a line of my ashes when i die" - Remus

"you can't be funny while I'm smoking" -Remus @ First year after he walked out the door

"I'm leaving, i don't care that much about being drug free" - Barty

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livinlikebailey · 2 months

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@wolfstarmicrofic | bleed | word count: 837

(i know how late this is i just rlly wanted to write this prompt)

during their second year, sirius made it a habit to sleep in the hospital wing on full moons, just to make sure he was there when remus woke up, and because the dorm was too quiet without the constant turning of pages from across the room.

remus always came back a mess; in pain, carried in by Madam Pomfrey, bleeding, bruised, and broken.

but today was worse.

sirius woke up to remus hissing in pain and stifling cries. Madam Pomfrey was crying as she tried to console him, and sirius was up in an instant.

remus was leaning on Madam Pomfrey, completely relying on her, so sirius ran over to his other side, and helped him over, ignoring the blood staining his shirt.

when they finally get remus into the bed, sirius takes the time to observe.

there are tears streaked down his face, blood dripping down his lips, his shoulder clearly out of place, giant gashes interrupting the pale skin of his arms, blood soaked through his t-shirt, and the fresh, scarring slice across his face.

remus is writhing as Madam Pomfrey prepares everything, sobbing and mustering small pleas of ‘sirius, go, please,’ and remus is pushing and clawing at sirius chest, but he’s frozen.

sirius pulls himself together as Madam Pomfrey administers the potion to remus. the fist wrapped around sirius’ bicep slowly unravels as he fell asleep, sirius fell apart.

‘sirius-‘

‘it hurts to look at him like this,’ sirius is sniffling through his words, trying to keep his persona up, but hiccuping through sobs and gripping his arm too hard.

sirius watches the wounds scar over and remus’ body finally fully relax.

he finally takes a breath in.

‘oh, dear, he’s always going to be in pain, but he’s strong, and bloody stubborn. there’s only so much i can do for him. he won’t let himself feel helpless, but force it upon him, sirius. be there for him before he can be there for himself.’

sirius nods along, arms still wrapped around himself.

‘i’ll do anything to help him feel better, he’s just bad at letting me,’ as composed as sirius seemed, he couldn’t think straight.

with every breath he takes in, he’s thinking about remus.

every inhale, ‘remus’, every exhale, ‘remus’. and sirius thinks it’ll be that way forever.

‘i think i’m going to try and sleep a little more, if that’s alright?’ he feels uncharacteristically vulnerable, but Madam Pomfrey doesn’t pry.

‘anything you need sirius. he’ll be glad to see you when he wakes up,’ and then she’s off with a comforting smile.

so he crawls into the closest bed, and falls asleep as his tears soak the pillow.

when he wakes, his bed is pushed against remus’; surely an act of Madam Pomfrey. remus is already awake, so sirius reaches out to run his fingers through the knots in the other’s hair.

‘sirius?’

‘yeah, moony?’

remus hesitates, takes a deep breath, then, ‘i’m sorry you had to see that. i don’t know why last night was so bad,’ and remus finally turns to look at him.

tears threaten to escape sirius again at the dark scar running across remus’ face, but merlin, he’s just as beautiful as always. he’s still his moony.

‘remus, i’m here because i wanted to be. through the good and bad. i’m here because i care. and i’ll be here as long as you let me.’

remus flushes, and sirius finally retracts his hand from his hair, only to trace the newly formed scar along his face, delicately.

‘is it gnarly? does it make me look cool?’ remus keeps his cool, and sirius doesn’t mention the tears that he watches escape.

‘i think it makes you even more beautiful.’

remus’ eyes widen, and sirius removes his hand completely, panicked.

‘you’re beautiful too, sirius.’

‘yeah, but i don’t have a sick ass scar,’ and remus laughs for the first time, and sirius wishes he could have that noise on repeat forever.

with the tension gone, sirius moves his hand back to comb through remus’ hair.

‘sirius?’

‘yeah?’

‘what are you doing?’

‘im taking care of you, moony.’

dopey smiles spread across both boys’ faces, and remus had never felt more at peace in the hospital wing.

‘ill take care of you for the rest of time, if you allow it.’

remus leans in to the hand scratching at his head, ‘i think i might be able to get used to that,’ and he turns to grin at sirius, and sirius is already staring back.

‘remus?’

‘yeah?’

‘can i kiss you?’

‘yeah.’

so he does. he leans across the space separating the beds, and presses a kiss to remus’ lips as gently as possible.

‘oh, i could get used to that too,’ and remus is laughing again; at his own joke.

‘c’mere stupid,’ sirius grabs remus’ shirt.

‘oh i’m stu-‘

and sirius pulls him in, and can almost feel remus roll his eyes through the kiss.

#wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #this is so cute #im gonna throw up #remus my beloved

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