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joskippy · 2 years

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I am being haunted by carlos in the hit nightvale book It Devours!

#jontalks #im too fucking nervous to make a long post abt it but mmy god #accurate protrayls of autism and trauma in media can be something so powerful #the. breakdown carlos has at the end of the book where hes like I will be safe from that place my family will be safe from the otherworld #and like. knowing how fucking traumatized he is from it. seeing him break down into tears and get so overwhelmed at the thought of not #being able to keep people safe from the thing that caused him so much fucking pain and not feeling safe knowing its still out there #hurting people and there is nothing he can do about it #and when he finds out hes been sending people there with his experiments on accident and his first instinct after he finally realizes what #hes done is to? try everything to look for everyone and find everyone #and when he cant find everyone hes sent to dow he wants to go again and again #as a form of punishment that he doesnt deserve #it is. so crazy as someone who struggles to cope with trauma seeing a character like carlos #who so obviously has? ptsd and is fucking struggling to cope with it and him lashing out and acting irrational isnt? villianized?#it devours showing how trauma can effect someone in ways that can be confusing to someone from an outside perspective and how trauma can #eat at you if you let it and just like #seeing that. concept not be done in a way to make someone look. bad and evil is so #much its so much as someone with ptsd #ive heard alot of people mention the autistic coding of carlos in this book too and its like !!! ya!!! ya #but i wanted to talk about this bc its really sticking with me after i finished it #trauma is confusing! for both the person struggling to cope with it and the people around them #and i love to see more shit! dig into it yknow!#anyway send me asks if you wanna hear me ramble about wtnv more lol #wtnv

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skunkes · 5 months

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when you mentioned that talon takes up sex in the comic w/o elaborating much i immediately understood it was an instant gratification/desire for a quick touch without getting involved in the "mess" of love bc i did a similar thing with my oc and its genuinely SO cool to see someone else do it and mention specifically because its out of a deep seeded fear of getting too attached but still wanting some sort of touch bc they literally like. cant live without it for too long. i love it im chewing on talon

YEAS....im considering rewriting/reuploading that whole panel because in my need to not be a weirdo and unnecessarily go into depth on a characters abuse, i ended up being rly vague in the parts where I couldve explained more, but Im glad someone understood even before my clarification ^_^

(harder with talon as no matter how much he tells himself he'll never risk losing anybody again, he's very quick to get attached. Desperate for a home, a family, to curl up around something warm and kind)

#oh and then come the mood swings because he must push you away. he doesnt deserve any warmth. or pity #but also pleaaase dont abandon me...#skunk mail #werewolfclaws #its just a cycle of being punished for trying to Live #i think even in his canon a main struggle would be him trying to find any reason to keep him away from just sleeping until the universe die #sorry im jst talking about him more now.#he has another Punished For Trying event where he tries to form a connection with someone #i think that might be genevieves role in his canon story #though im not sure yet #but it does seem to line up because she already hurts him in some big way in my drafts #it makes sense that she's also the one who hurts him further #and its sucks bc he does love her #and he doesnt know how to leave because he finally has one ''good'' thing #it seems he has no problem causing injury; physical or emotional; unless its when it counts #oc text

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attackurheart88 · 5 months

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How would Hisoka, Chrollo, Kurapika and Killua react to a dominant and possessive reader? They would like to? and I mean in every way lol, everyday life and nsfw

Killua is a minor aged up or not so I’ll be skipping his nsfw. Thanks for your understanding.

——————

Hisoka

• He likes it

• Hisoka will often flirt with others just to rile you up

• Seeing how angry you get when other women or even men touch him

• turns him on (everything does)

• Hisoka is used to taking that role in any relationship, so to find someone like himself attracts him

• The two of you would be that lovey-dovey couple that everyone envies.

• You match each other's energies

• Each of you wants to control and dominate the other

• He thinks of your possessive side to be really sexy.

• And often pushes to see how you’ll punish him later

• Which comes in the form of whips, knives, and wax play.

• Hisoka is tied to the bed while he endures every scar and wound you leave on his body

• It's only after a few hours of pain and orgasm denial that Hisoka is forgiven until next week

Chrollo

• Doesnt mind it

• You’re devotion to him will serve as a pawn to play

• He knows he can trust you with anything without you ever turning against him

• Sometimes you scare him

• If push comes to shove and he wants to break it off he fears for his life.

• Secretly Chrollo likes how dominant you are

• It can be exhausting to constantly being the one to make decisions and put on a brave face

• Having you take that role sometimes gives him a sense of comfort

• In the bedroom the two of you switch back and forth over who will be in control

• One second you're on top the next you're on your knees as he takes you from behind

• The look on your face in tears begging and pleading for more underneath him is a huge ego boost

• Knowing you behave the opposite of a submissive person

• Chrollo will relish any situation where he has power over you

Kurapika

• Doesnt like it

• Kurspika is extremely independent and often takes the leadership role in any situation

• Having a partner who obsesses over him will make him feel uncomfortable at first

• Your dominance might even scare him

• Once he gets used to your behavior he slowly allows himself to enjoy it

• Part of him believes he doesn't deserve to have someone who cares about him so much

• He should be alone and focus on this goal of killing the Phantom Troupe. It would be the safest option for you and anyone he cares about

• But after your insistence on not leaving him alone and finding ways to follow him and assist him in some way

• Kurapika has no choice but to let you in

• Kurapika wouldn't admit it but coming home to you pushing him in the bed and having your way with him is the highlight of his day

• After a long day of work and stress Kurapika doesn't want to think

• Having you take the reins and tell him what to do feels so right

• He likes it when you tease him

• Him tied to the bed as you fuck him hard and play with his nipples

• It's perfect

Killua

• He feels on edge at first

• Killua feels like you remind him of his brother

• Trying to be in control and limit him all while saying you care

• He would argue with you constantly

• He isn't a fan of being told what to do or being the “submissive” one in a relationship

• You taking charge of initiating PDA or any romantic gestures makes him get shy and embarrassed

• He would always find a way to return the favor and get even

• Killua can be really petty

• If you tell him to do one thing he will go out of his way to do the opposite just to feel like he has some control

• When it's late or Killua is in a good mood he puts up less of a fight

• He’ll let you be the big spoon

• Or drag him around letting you take charge

• It's times like that Killua really feels like a child and enjoys the feeling of being taken cared of

#hxh x reader #killua zoldyck #kurapika x reader #chrollo x reader #adult trio x reader #gender neutral y/n #hxh scenarios #killua x reader #hisoka x reader #kurapika #scenario

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running-with-kn1ves · 2 years

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Yandere Gangster

CW: NSFW, lap riding(GN reader), wounds/bruises, kidnapping, manipulation, gang activities

Yandere gangster who forces you to grind down on his lap as you're bandaging him up. What, you expect him to sit through all this pain without some form of relief? All he wants is his cute little victim spouse to make him feel good. It's the least you could do after all your hitting and screaming he's had to deal with since he "brought you home." You ask in disbelief how he could be worried about getting off after narrowly escaping being shot at. But he doesn't care for your protests.

Yandere gangster who threatens you without wavering, his beaten body only fueling his short temper. Maybe his buddies should get a round with you, as punishment for still having not learned your place. And that threat is more than enough to get you hesitantly inching towards his bloody pants. He already has them unbuttoned, black boxers hiding a bulge that pulses. But once you sit down, feeling him flex and poke from below, you're fully aware of how hot and bothered he's become. You try to focus on wrapping gauze around his bicep with his arm lowering to grip your waist.

Yandere gangster who whispers, "Move your hips" as he gently humps upward. You do as your told, whether more out of fear or out of the desire to get this over with, you aren't sure. But your kidnapper isnt bothered, too focused on the inpatient arousal inside of him. He sucks in through his teeth each time you pour antiseptic on an open cut, but he doesnt seem to mind the pain as long as you kept softly thrusting. He gets even more eager once his free hand pushes yours down towards his erection. You see the healed scars on his lower abdomen as his shirt pushes upward. They were sickingly familiar, as you had seen them everytime you were forced to "service" him like this.

Yandere gangster who you dont doubt would try to kiss you right now if it weren't for the bruises flourishing on his skin. You stare at his beaten face, a stream of dried blood down his nose as the cuts on his lips reopen when he bites them. Your hands become shakey the more he thrusts into your palm and against your groin, his bouncing legs making it harder to patch up his wounds. The sweat dripping down his chest, his slicked back hair now wild and free, it made him look more deranged than before. He was like a wild animal, starved and only interested in the meal in front of him. "Keep going." He huffs, and you aren't sure if hes talking about your work on his bruised knuckles or your hips that have been rocking back and forth.

Yandere gangster who uses you as the perfect stress toy, one that helps him get off with your soft body and oh so gentle fingers. His head leans back in the chair, lazily rocking upward as the friction becomes a desirable pressure. He cant help but feel he deserves this, after all his hard work and the time it took to get you here. Once you finish with the worst of his cuts and bruises, patching up everything to the best of your ability, you attempt to get off his lap. He's gotten what he wanted, right? A little pleasure to help keep off the pain. But you were sorely mistaken to think that would be the end of it.

Yandere gangster who lives up to his name, growling and cursing through his teeth, daring to pull out his switchblade the more you struggled to leave. He always had a short fuse, but today was no comparison. Waving the knife around he shot vulgar threat after threat, nearly nicking you. You didn't doubt hed cut you if push came to shove, having the scars to prove his past lack of patience. You still remembered how they burned, how he slid the blade painfully slow, refusing to clean you up until he got what he wanted. And so, what choice did you have? You only hoped that if you went faster, forcing him to come undone, he may end up too distracted. But you knew your captor, and wishful thinking never got you anywhere.

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moonlit-dreamers · 4 months

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my friend suggested this idea and now im brain rotting so fucking hard

thinking about if maybe servant sun wasnt actually dead he just fell into the portal and was brought to a nicer and more peaceful dimension

specifically if he met a different and nicer eclipse

how would he react? would he be scared? would he immediately submit? would he follow every request he makes as if it was a command? would eclipse explain that sun doesnt have to follow him around everywhere he goes and that he wont be punished if he doesnt? how would they help him come to terms that wut he went through was abuse? how would he cope? how would eclipse help him?

i have so many scenarios ive thought about OTL

like- wut if when sun first enters the dimension he doesnt recognize eclipse bc of lord eclipses different body and when hes informed that hes an eclipse he immediately panics. he bows down and apologizes continuously for not recognizing his god and not treating him with respect. begging for forgiveness and pleading that eclipse not hurt him. he didnt know! truly! it was a mistake!

also another one - wut if eclipse showed genuine physical affection to sun and sun just short circuits bc he has no clue how to respond. hes never been shown physical affection in any form. the most hes gotten is lord eclipse beating him, so to be held gently is foreign and confusing. he doesnt know how to respond. hes not sure if he should be grateful (bc in his eyes he doesnt deserve his own happiness) or confused. is he meant to enjoy this? is that the response hes meant to have? is that wut eclipse desires, for sun to enjoy this moment?

im having... so much brain rot...

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hoshigaki · 3 months

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headcannons for itakisa 😌 continued from here

kisame and itachi are so. like itachi is a weirdo with no friends and kisame is a lonely dude who doesnt believe in friendship and yet they dont talk to each other as coworkers like they do with other akatsuki members, theyre so normal?? with each other i think they see each other as equals in the way only they could

so what happens when you put two bootlicking rule following brainwashed top of the class super soldiers who recently had a nervous breakdown about their role in society together on a team for terrorists? the most tender hand holding of all time. the most tragic vulnerability. the most timid notion of love while they know the other will die before they ever can enjoy it.

and maybe sexual intimacy as a form of self harm because one of them is used to using his strength as a punishing tool and one of them thinks he deserve to be punished while he waits until he dies.

i think at 17 after Itachi learns what romance and sex is he starts analyzing his physical and emotional reaction towards other people. after the confrontation in konoha in the failed kidnap mission kisame wouldve made some joke about running into itachis exes and then itachi says super deadpanned "i used to have a crush on kakashi" and kisame goes well that makes sense youre the two prettiest people in the village and then itachi like every teenage girl thinks too hard about that compliment and devises a strategic plan of action to receive more compliments for no particular reason.

kisame and itachi are truly quality time and acts of service lovers, and their affection for each other grows from them naturally doing things. moments of silence arent weird, itachi will always look out to whatever kisame has pointed out in the horizon, kisame will eat anything itachi cooks even if its burnt since the taste doesnt matter the act does, they both get annoyed at the same things and find the same people stupid which amplifies their "youre the only person i want to be around" feelings

because itachi is a sickly waif hes always cold and kisame doesn't generate as much heat as one would think which means they both like being in warm places and they will spend more time than necessary in hot springs or in the valley during summertime so they can bask in the sun

kisame doesn't like soft things like i said in my other post, but he does like silk and itachi's hair is perfectly silky to run fingers through

#kisaita #itakisa #kisame #itachi #mine #professional-gay-hermit #asks

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taikanyohou · 1 year

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my mind keeps going back to how jaewon said to jihyun that he's just so "pure", and ... yeah .... all this self-destruction is nothing less than a way of jaewon punishing himself (self-harm but not in the usual physical form, rather, neglect of his own emotional human needs) for thinking that he feels 100000% responsible for making jihyun ever go through what his little brother did. that makes it worse when you remember the scene where he takes that broken camera his little brother gifted him back to the same shop, only for the shopkeeper to tell him its impossible to fix. that one last tangible memoir he had of jaejin, now gone too. he doesnt want nor does he feel he deserves a brand new shiny one of the same version at a higher price, just like how he feels towards jihyun - that he doesnt deserve him, or a second chance with him.

#the eighth sense #faiza talks #GOD :(#something something about how everything for jaewon relates back to jaejin .... DEVASTATION.

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pinkandpurple360 · 6 months

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If Stolitz is endgame 🥺 why is it so incredibly hostile to its protagonists verbalised feelings and his entire carefully crafted identity. The ship has been eroding the fabric of the series down to changing its whole genre to a melodrama because that’s what it takes to shift a villain to a pitiable malewife. Stolas makes Blitz a more violent, sadistic, and self hating person, he belittles and mocks his dreams in life too.

This was basically how Stolas handled Blitz telling him he’s sick of always being forced into sex, (rape) to keep his job alive, and Stolas pretending it can be the start of a relationship is fucking sick.

Haha. Yeah it was funny I suppose. When you come over next time you can verbally degrade me back daddy 🥰

I don’t like Stolitz pairing because I care about the happiness of the character Blitz. This pairing does not care about his happiness. It is punishing him for not giving into someone he doesn’t want, never wanted, and breaking down his integrity bit by bit each episode until he’s a shell who just smiles and cuddles and kisses with Stolas or makes cute baby eyes at his human form. It’s been this image since he was a tiny scared little boy being told a Goetia wants to buy him to be his playmate.

It is the equivalent of “yeah sure you say you don’t want it but what does your body say, why don’t you just stop pathetically resisting and submit to stolas”

The narrative ignores his constant, constant, verbalised protests and visible discomfort. Stolas makes him feel less than and everyone says “it’s all in his head because of his insecure inferiority complex”even though it’s fucking NOT ALL IN HIS HEAD. The plot sees his lack of consent as just a challenge. It’s ignoring what he apparently “really” wants ‘deep somewhere in his subconscious’ maybe and it is deadset on making every last episode a guilt trip about stolas being so lonely and oh so fucking sad. He needs blitz to be happy again. He deserves blitz to be happy again. He misses blitz so much he loves blitz. He’s so mean for not answering his every last call, why didn’t he come running? stolas is so helpless without his hero blitz. HE WILL DIE IF BLITZ DOESNT TEXT BACK!!!! oh sorry too much? No, not for this show.

No character ever, once, listens, acknowledges, or cares about the fact that Blitz doesn’t want this. Except for a deeply wasted vilified character called Striker, and potentially Asmodeus. Stolas abuses and demeans him as a lesser being holding his job over his head then Millie calls him his “boyfriend” 😍While he is explaining to someone he actually feels attraction to, that this is a very fucked up contract he’s forced into. But he’s not being coy or creating acover up story, this is literally.what.it.is. Moxie and Millie are winking and nudging in the back. Guys. Stolas put a cigarette out on Blitzs body, calls him an infantilising nickname, and calls him itty bitty. He speaks to him in baby voice because he’s an imp. Blitz is always fucking communicating this and I’m supposed to laugh, it’s ignored and he’s forced to anyways. Or implied “he does want this but just doesn’t want to admit it.” Even though he is always so open about who he finds hot and can never hide that fact. He fucking says ‘Ew’ as a child and ‘Ew’ as an adult.

Ohh He’s just pretending he finds Stolas ugly and creepy as fuck and that he always has been. He doesn’t desire stolas that way. Or any way. When hes told he’s bought out to be his friend he says “Ew”, when Stolas assumes he wants to ravish him, tells Blitz what he thinks his own feelings are he says “Ew” then fakes it. His father forced him to be around Stolas, despite his protests. He was under threat, to be his friend. His clown act is a performance, his friendship is a performance, his sex is a performance. He needed to do all of these things to fucking.survive.

#helluva boss #stolitz critical #mentions of SA #HBoss romanticising SA as a kink

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hiemaldesirae · 24 days

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Swap au nonny: no plans to write this at all, so go ahead an write away =)

But yeah, Valentino thought Vox had it in the bag--now he believes that Alastor doesn't deserve death, but should be someone's bitch for eternity (he should have been Vox's, but seeing how the deer acts with Vox's stuff, he would probably like that). Velvette doesn't know what to think. She misses Vox terribly, and hates Alastor, and is very upset with Valentino for not going to Vox's distress call--she definitely would have gone, but wouldn't have made it in time as her true demon form doesn't have flight. Velvette basically did most of the work for all 3 sectors of the Vees while Alastor was punishing Valentino and Valentino's souls, and becomes friends with Niffty during those first 4 years. Once Alastor takes back the reigns and Val gets back to work, Velvette goes back to what she used to do too. Like things are mostly unchanged for her. (Mostly because she befriended Niffty and eventually Rosie. Her doing that saved her)

As for Vox's sector? His giant monitor room is clean by Niffty and is visited by Alastor once or twice a month, where Alastor ponders what Vox exactly did in the room. His office has been taken over by Alastor, his last ideas and drawings framed and safely kept in Alastor's bayou space. Vox's contracted souls continued to work for Voxtech...until a day after Alastor realized Vox was back, and that's when Vox gently pulled on their chains and called them to him. (Not like there was many left. Alastor did actually land a killing blow. Vox had to use some of his contracted souls to heal himself, destroying them in the process. But Vox lived, and that's what matters.)

Alastor does say I love you to the head he sleeps with in his bed! Also, I'm sorry, and I didn't mean too, and please come back to me. I'll be better. I'll never hurt you again, my love.

Vox does have PTSD. It's so bad that he has to take relaxation meds to go to the overlord meeting (since it's required for both allied overlords to show now) and Alastor will definitely be there, with his ally Rosie. It's fine though he has Husk.

YEAHHHHHHH YIPPEE THANK YOU NONNY I WONT DISAPPOINT I PROMISE!!!! (question for writing purposes btw. do charlie/vaggie know that vox is there on behalf of lucifer or does he just Show Up)

Urghm. wughd. imgnonna. Throw up. what the FUCK !!!!!!! what thde FUCK...................!!!!!!!!!! valvel going the FUCK through it while theyre both mourning their best friends death and harbouring so sososo much guilt from it all...if hell had therapists theyd need it more than anyone else please someone put the vees together in a cage so they can hug it out :(

oh god als such a fucking freak. i just know hed keep all of voxs old shit like pristine and clean and just looking like it was preserved in time or something, even when hes also making voxtek employees come in to do constant upgrades so that it seems more like something vox would do. trying to hold on to the pieces of him that he still has left while changing them to make it feel as if vox never left in the first place... and also, once alastor finds out vox is alive again, does he jump to the idea of having someone infiltrate the hotel to keep an eye on him or something? cause if he sends his shadow, sure thats not something they can get rid of, but he also doesnt know how well vox will respond to his shadow- even if they were close, alastor *did* kill vox nearly permanently, so is this potentially how the hotel gets niffty?

banging my head against the wall WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE SAYS SHIT LIKE 'ill be better' AND 'ill never hurt you again, just please come back to me'.... makes me think of those like, manhwas or whatever where the mc goes back in time to save someone they loved but treated like shit. they make my heart hurt what the FUCK nonny why would you do this to me.... urgh. the worst part is knowing alastor is that he does honestly probably mean it but in like His way. the toxic doomed yaoi way. like he's going to kidnap vox and keep him by his side forever if it means the other won't get hurt and almost leave again. which is usually a good thing because again. freak4freak radiostatic enthusiast here . but for swap!vox... oh my poor dear. he's probably freaking the fuck out whenever he sees al. is there even any ending where radiostatic gets a happy end :sob:

ough i can imagine husk just like standing protectively in front of vox during the meetings or something, like if rosie tries to get close to him or something he tells her firmly to leave because even though they were friends, vox cant even look her in the eye anymore because in his eyes, she *knew* what al did and still stayed by his side. she knew he killed vox and probably condoned it, and she'd probably help him do it all over again if they could- or at least that's what he thinks, but she really is just trying to get close to him again and cant understand why he's pulling back so hard. and the image of al trying to approach vox after a meeting or something only to be met with val and vels interference as husk takes vox and flies him back to the hotel- valvel get punished severely afterward for keeping them apart, obviously, but theyd do *anything* to keep vox safe especially because last time, when they didnt do enough, he almost died forever

#ran rambles #hazbin hotel #general asks #radiostatic #swap au

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demoisverysexy · 10 months

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Spongebob has fallen prey to the theological black hole in which he frames justice as people getting what they deserve, rather than getting what is needed. If justice is framed as returning good for good and evil for evil, then there is a moral imperative to do evil! This is a perversion of justice, which robs it of its force to do good in the world, and this version of justice is one that has been used to justify some of the worst crimes in human history, from the crusades to the holocaust, and by the most oppressive regimes in history, from queen Isabella's spain to reign of terror france to Soviet Russia. This mode of thinking, while common amongst religious folks, is not particular to christianity, and is common in most societies. What we need instead, I posit (following in the footsteps of Mormon theologian Adam S. Miller) that rather than viewing justice as a way to doll out punishment upon those who deserve it, to view justice as the moral imperative to do good in response to evil, always. It is a commitment to do what is needed rather than what is deserved (as though suffering is ever deserved!). When one does good, then what they need from me is for me to act in love to them. When one does evil, then what they need from me is still for me to act in love to them. This frames moral questions in a more useful way, as rather than viewing moral questions as a way to punish the wicked, it is viewed as the mechanism by which we can love others and to help them to do good themselves. This is a harder, more challenging form of morality, as it doesnt provide easy answers to the many competing problems that present themselves in the world. The work of figuring out how to act with good in response to the many things around us is not easy, and we will likely come up short. But it will give us the tools we need to heal the world, as opposed to perpetuating its hurt.

#asks #demo answers #humor #subjecting you all to this #sposting #theology #religion

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cupcraft · 1 month

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i hate when they gaslight house about his pain. i definitely think that sometimes his physical pain is exacerbated by his stress/mental pain but that isnt something to disregard either. When hes stressed he thinks about his pain more even if it doesnt hurt any more than it did yesterday and people brush him off like it isnt a real thing. like 😭😭😭It still hurts guys

Exactly.

Like stress, anxiety, trauma, etc. are all things that can exacerbate pain and make it worse. They are things that can be caused by the pain, intersect with it, etc. It can make the pain harder to process and manage. Many things. Chronic pain and your mental state are linked but that DOES NOT mean his pain is "made up" just "psychological".

House needing therapy and addiction counseling aside, his pain is still real. It's always real. HIs pain being amplified by stress isn't fake. His pain causing stress which then causes it to be amplified in a cycle isn't fake. His pain is real and deserves to be taken seriously. Every fucking doctor in this show has no fuckign clue what chronic pain is like and it shows. They also act like House being addicted to vicodin is some moral failing when in fact like um he also does need pain management...and opiates are a form of pain management and a consequence of long term opiate pain management can be addiction which becomes a chronic illness on its own that deseves its own patience and management. People, other than fellow patients and disabled characters that also get what he's going through, see House's pain as a made up moral failing that is just his long sinister plan to be drug seeking which is just one of the most gutting parts of the show (and unfortunately a reality for how many people and the medical system treats disabled people and also addicts).

I think it becomes the most jarring when there's a narrative how many people defend Stacy's decision to break House's medical consent and autonomy, and the near sort of judgement he gets for not wanting an amputation. His decision over his body part is his own, his relationship to his leg is his own, his autonomy over wanting a prosthetic versus a leg and a cane is his own. There should be no morality assigned to what House wanted to do with his leg injury. And maybe, that morality is assigned as a sense of guilt people (especially Cuddy) have for the fact the only reason he was injured in the first place is that people gaslit him to think his pain was made up and that he was just some drug seeking individual (see the lecture episode where he talks about this especially amplified about how even the med students thought this patient who was really him was drug seeking and not having a blood clot).

There's also a way that many characters weaponize his pain, like they're trying to teach him a lesson to his "ego" and "selfishness". For example, I think to the episode where they took his parking space and made him and another disabled doctor be pit against each other. I think to how like "well technically the ADA and your accomodations says you can walk 50 feet so your new parking spot is exactly 46 feet so that means youre full of shit house!" and I think to how Cuddy was like "um being ambulatory is less disabled than non-ambulatory" which is gross and fucked up. I hate how she made him "prove" his disability by making him use a wheelchair, and I hate how she punished him for standing to save a patient's life. I hate how she was unreceptive to House being like "hey well 46feet or not you dont understand how much goes into my day planning where to walk, when I use the bathroom, when the elevator's out, etc. My whole day revolves around managing and mitgating my chronic pain" and like telling her there's more to his accomodations just being like "50 feet" because it is in fact more nuanced than that. And instead, it's again, yet another moral failing. The narrative pushed on house of "If only he amputated his leg and stopped seeking drugs he'd be so much better" versus the reality f addiction and chronic paina nd how that intersects with mental health

#tea.cakes #ask #house md #meta #tw ableism #ask to tag #sorry this is long i am crazy about this topic

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teecupangel · 7 months

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so ive been following this music series called milgram by deco*27 and the most recent song called Purge March is so farm era desmond coded its insane but i wanted your opinion on it bc im the best at keeping up with lore and stuff

purge march is about a little girl who grew up in a cult, this cult has these ideations they force on her like "thou shall follow thine destiny" and "thou shall deliver unto those thou believest in" and by cult standards she gets punished (severely) if she doesnt follow them.

one day she meets a cat who has his leg broken and decides to mend it, a cult member saw this and snitches to (i think) her parents, she then gets tazed bc she "changed the cat's destiny" while the cat is presumably unalived. this event snaps her and she goes on a rampage, killing who was probably her mother (the mv doesnt rly tell much bc it's purposefully cryptic)

so yeah im thinking of making an ac/milgram au but what do you think

(It was either the mother or the father, yeah, it’s meant to be cryptic XD)

Anyway, here’s the official Milgram youtube. I would have picked the actual playlist but the ones I saw weren’t updated to have Purge March.

For those just curious about Purge March, here’s the official MV (with English subtitles)

youtube

The Milgram series has the setup of ‘murderers’ that the main character must pronounce as guilty or innocent of their crime after listening to their songs. That’s pretty much the very brief gist of it.

Now, nonny gave a good summary of the crux of Purge March’s storyline so we’ll focus on a Desmond Purge March AU instead.

(warning, there will be… animal cruelty and child abuse in this one. Not descriptive but there nonetheless.)

For this one, we’ll remove all of the Templars versus Assassins + Isus stuff from the Farm.

If you still want to include them in the story, go for it, the Farm itself will be turned into an actual cult (instead of us just joking around that it’s a cult).

Perhaps the Farm was formed by radical Assassins who left the Brotherhood before the Great Purge, perhaps they were created by survivors of the Great Purge who lost themselves in grief and started to believe that salvation comes from following their destiny, no matter what it may be.

Of course, if you truly want to hammer in the AC plot, the Farm actually worships Juno (ala Will of the First Instruments) and the whole “thou shall follow thine destiny” is pushed into the conscience of every cult member all in an effort to ensure Desmond would accept his fate to die on December 21, 2012.

Hell, we can even push this into the entire cult knowing Desmond’s destiny is to die on December 21, 2012 to save the world. He has been groomed not as the messiah or the savior of mankind but as the sacrifice.

And Desmond hated it.

He hated everything.

The cult.

His life.

The world.

He was born and raised to believe that this world deserves to be saved because it was destiny.

The very word ‘destiny’ only makes him feel empty inside, a festering rotting darkness that threatened to consume him.

And then…

He found a cat with an injured leg.

White as fresh snow with eyes as gold as the necklace his mother would wear whenever his father would have one of his regular sermons.

And Desmond…

Desmond heard the poor cat mew and he couldn’t stop himself.

He ‘borrowed’ the first aid in their home and used it to disinfect and bandage the cat’s injury, even went and gave the cat his lunch because it was fine.

He can skip a meal.

And that was that.

Or so Desmond had thought.

He had done something good.

And it felt nice.

But he didn’t realize…

Because he was important to the cult…

He was being watched.

Always being watched.

And when his father and mother got home, they immediately grabbed the first aid box and asked him why there were bandages missing.

They shouldn’t have known.

He already had his excuse ready, cutting himself with the kitchen knife and…

But they didn’t believe him.

They knew.

They knew…

Someone told them.

And then…

His father showed him the bandage he had put on the cat.

Too bloodied for it to be from the cat’s leg injury.

And Desmond…

Desmond couldn’t even cry.

All he could was stare at the bandages as his father dragged him into the prayer room.

No.

The repentance room.

.

His entire body felt like it was on fire that night.

His hands stung. His back throbbed. His legs trembled.

He could not sleep.

Until he thought…

Who decides our destiny?

Why are they so sure that this is their destiny?

Because it had already happened?

Was the main point to simply not do anything once something bad has happened?

Then…

It will be destiny if something bad happens…

Right?

The following days, Desmond prepares and helps dutifully for the sermon this Sunday.

He does everything ordered of him, making his parents proud.

He receives good words for his actions, even gets headpats and smiles.

The emptiness in Desmond’s heart was filled.

Overflowing…

… with rot.

The sermon always started at the crack of dawn.

At the end of it, every adult in their ‘congregation’ would drink wine said to have been blessed.

Cheap wine bought in the local grocery.

They all drank.

And they all fell on their knees, coughing and vomiting.

The doors and windows were all locked because they ‘must be closed off from the filthy world’.

They cannot escape even if they wanted to.

Desmond grabs the holy sword, a family heirloom from his mother’s family.

It was light.

And sharp.

Desmond plunged it on his father’s stomach and pulled it just as quickly.

Not to kill him but to make sure he stays where he was.

Desmond grabbed the keys from his father then and…

He stood in front of the nearest adult that was neither his father nor his mother.

He remembered seeing him sometimes…

Did he follow Desmond that day?

No?

It doesn’t matter.

Desmond raised the sword…

And swung it down.

The head rolled…

The body slummed…

Blood pooled under him.

Desmond continued.

And the room filled with screams…

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trickstarbrave · 1 year

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i have an idea itching at my brain that’s gotta come out. pardon if its incoherent i can explain it more if asked

the idea is the concept of a god!nerevar

nerevar, in the bits and pieces we get of him in the original timeline, is actually such an interesting figure. his hands are stained with padomay, the cosmic divine force of chaos. he is champion of azura (the sister of lorkhan), guards secrets like mephala, and is born of boethia.

the three good daedra told their story to veloth and the elves that followed him. the story of lorkhan, why he made this world, and the ‘truth’ of his death. and i think it is no mystery why they had the chimer travel to lands where lorkhan’s heart rests.

i think, contrary to what you may believe, the three good daedra always wanted someone to use the heart. the problem was simply who ended up using it.

this isn’t to say i think the tribunal killing nerevar stole it from him. in truth, i think the betrayal had to happen. because despite their best efforts, nerevar couldnt achieve CHIM and enlightenment. he couldn’t innately use the heart and become a new lorkhan, reborn of lorkhan’s truer, better nature (his wrathful destructive nature still exists in many forms like boethia, so i think they were looking for the other essences of lorkhan to be reborn in a new incarnation of padomay). just as anu had anui-el and anui-el had auri-el and auri-el had alduin, padomay had sithis and sithis had lorkhan. but lorkhan never had an heir--isnt it strange how the being of stasis had a child of destruction, of change? would lorkhan’s heir not be a being of creation then in turn?

but i digress. the tribunal became gods, and boethia and mephala didn’t punish them for it. they saw nerevar as a failure to make into the incarnation and son of lorkhan. he failed, and a good betrayal came out of it, so they didn’t care. only azura cared--and i think it was out of rage that they used dwarven tools to manipulate the heart with profane tonal magic by heretics rather than being truly in tune with the heart of the world. in her eyes, they were doomed for destruction the moment they achieved divinity and caused the dragon break--because they were not the missing gods the world needed. they were not lorkhan. and in time their divinity would drive them mad, their power would wane, and they would be slain. but she would punish them anyways for desecrating the heart of her brother.

i think you can see bits and pieces of this in the timeline of the tribunal as gods too. they spend a lot of time teaching nerevar, especially vivec trying to teach him CHIM. perhaps he knows, or perhaps he doesnt. regardless, they still failed even in that reality, because it was already set in stone that they used the heart to achieve divinity, and they got no closer to teaching him divinity. he became a saint instead of a god. but vivec still didn’t want to hide from him the truth that they killed him, betrayed him, all to steal godhood. nerevar deserves that much

this is where, if i had a theory, it would stop. in truth i dont think canon works well with nerevar achieving divinity. but if im allowed an au exploration--

perhaps the betrayal could be used to make nerevar closer to divinity. as would the killing of the tribunal. nerevar as the nerevarine is a continuation of him, that much closer to the truth and to ascension. my idea centers a nerevarine who has the memories of nerevar, and upon seeing the last of their companions die, curls up. and finally nerevar’s heart beats in tune with the now freed heart, and reality resets. a full dragon break again, a new universe, just like the first one.

nerevar is a god but does not know it. not until azura looks at him with hands stained with the blood of gods she doesnt even recognize, and sees his heart beats in time with lorkhans--that he used the heart without even intending to once before and it has become his own. he is a god half formed, unfettered by the madness of the heart, grieving the world he lost and what it may become again. a god who looks like all the good parts of lorkhan that died with him when his heart was ripped out, her brother forged anew in murder and betrayal from a timeline that no longer exists.

when nerevar uses the heart intentionally, he becomes a full god: the incarnation of lorkhan, son of the trickster, born of boethia, hidden by mephala, crowned by azura. his heart is the heart of the world, just as his father’s was. he is the hidden moon in the sky and his eyes the stars. he is the killer of gods, destroyer of realities, the dreamer-god-king of sex-murder (that is to say, creation and destruction in elder scrolls speak), the betrayed betrayer. if vivec can be said to be the wheel of fortune in tarot, nerevar is the world.

he is the one the good daedra have longed for: the dream of lorkhan realized

and in a way, he has saved his friends from the fate of being broken, corrupted gods he had to slay

anyways i came up with this while high yesterday. reading back on the wall of text i sent this idea to my brother as was really like

#nerevar #morrowind #almsivi #tesblr #tes lore #thank u baby brother for letting me spam you while you were driving and i was high

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centi-pedve · 27 days

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been scouring the regretevator wiki cause i was curious (terrible wiki btw i am so sorry. one page has a citation that just links to some discord bullshit which people who are not in the server obviously cant see) anyways i am getting a terrible impression of the creator(?) and i would be interested in your thoughts on this business if youd be willing to share :3

oh goodness gracious... well we do have Some thoughts and we dunno if they match your own concerns since, we purposefully don't go out looking for whatever the creator has said but yeah even from a distance it's. Not looking good. (Already mentioned some of these before but for the sake of putting it in one place we'll be redundant)

definitely has his own takes on certain characters, headcanons, and the like. it was silly at first but as time went on and the more effort he put into pushing negativity over certain things the less fun it became. we think, if you want people to dislike a character, you try and make them dislikeable within the context of the story and then let people form those opinions. rather than being weird about the fact that there are still people who do like the character and punishing them by denying them the most basic things or even involving them in the story at all because Doesn't Deserve It. yes this is primarily about unple/asant

related but... too much of a reliance on telling stories with twitter or other unofficial platforms. did we learn nothing from the dumbledore is gay tweet. like a huge amount of information on the wiki that is very important to understanding the characters are just is NOT in the game, like if you played the game fully you'd still need to rely on the wiki to be able to participate in fandom. honestly a large part of that is why we're so biased towards certain characters! unple/asant and infe/cted are the only characters with lore and trivia and such that we've bothered to go on the wiki for and memorize. we've played the game for hours and hours but that doesnt mean much lol. once again, unple/asant especially, it literally DOESN'T TALK or participate in ANY of the active dynamic story because Doesn't Deserve It but there's still things to know about unple/asant and people who like the game just want something!! like dunno the overuse of social media in storytelling just makes it so much more unfun, we don't like how information is released and the fact that we need to rely on external material that... is sometimes taken back because the creator has gone on record Just Saying Shit. favorite example vv

Which is really funny considering it has 1 piece of dialogue on the game. So it can physically speak, and is also not "mewing 24/7" by result of having that dialogue (pretty sure the creator was just encouraged to say that without giving a fuck but, whatever). but the things that happen in game are second to the creator's twitter feed AMIRIGHTFELLAS

3. the,. the ableism. we've heard people tried to bring it up with the creator in the past and they were ignored so we feel comfortable mentioning it lol. bi/ve is a stereotype of someone who suffers from paranoia really, we mean we love her but... lol... and we will say it again pe/st should not canonically have npd or aspd. like omggg the evil character that robs people has two pds negatively stereotyped as belonging to evil people we're sure there was no bias in this decision. maybe we'd be less bothered if people didn't treat it as so serious and pretend to be cluster b allies like "you have to give him some understanding cuz he has aspd and npd 🥺" like no because he's evil, also maybe it wouldn't hurt to care about real people with those pds instead of a caricature. also the half-hearted throwing around of the word "mute" for unple/asant has been pointed out as ableist by a lot of people.

tldr uhhh wuhgghh NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK nobody get us (: nobody talk us...

#asks #good morning! (starts bitching

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whirlwindimagines · 1 year

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What pokemon teams would you give to the Trigun Stampede characters? (Vash, Knives, Wolfwood, Meryl and Roberto)

This seems like something you would like to write about!

And you would be right, dont need to ask me twice to combine Pokemon with literally anything lol

I'll each give them a team of Six, and try to explain it from there! These are for aesthetic purposes, and no way a good team make up lol and of course this got long.

What Pokemon would Vash, Knives, Wolfwood, Meryl and Roberot have?

Vash: Xerneas, Sylveon, Absol, Breloom, Gogoat, and Lycanroc (Midday form)

Okay if you know me this team is biased as hell lol Lots of parallels to Knives because ya know their like two sides of the same coin.

His first pokemon was Eevee, and it evolved into a Sylveon because he has lots of love to give :)

Xerneas are supposed to represent everlasting life! :)))) I'd imagine Vash is responsible for said pokemon but keeps it hidden.

Absol is known as the disaster pokemon! When one appears a disaster follows after, he probs kept running into the poor thing and adopted it

I like to think Breloom and Gogoat are a pair, and Vash probably has a soft spot for grass pokemon. Breloom is a fighter, and Gogoat is a good way to travel.

Vash deserves a dog, the Midday form is very loyal to its trainer and is a lasting companion!

Knives: Yveltal, Umbreon, Aegislash, Zoroark, Kingambit, and Lycanrock (Midnight form)

The flip side of Xerneas is Yveltal, which absorbs the life of everything around :)) Surely in the hands of Knives nothing can go wrong!

Nai probably received an Eevee as well, his just evolved into an Umbreon

Aegislash and Kingambit are self-explanatory they fit his aesthetic. One is literally a floating sword, and Kingambits are leaders and command other pokemon.

A dog for Knives as well! the Midnight form of Lycanroc is more bloodthirsty than its day counterpart.

Zoroark just seems like an all around good Pokémon for him, it can do his bidding lol

Wolfwood: Silvally, Krookodile, Zebstrika, Darkrai, Banette, Mightyena

:))) Type: Null a pokemon that was experimented on, and has great power! But forced to wear its mask to suppress it :)))) They evolve into Silvally when a solid and unbreakable bond form, just seems like a good pokemon for him! This was probably his first pokemon!

Banette and Darkrai were accidental for sure, Banette's are pokemon with a vengeance and will kill those who wronged them. Darkrai the nightmare pokemon! Seems like it fits the aesthetic of the Punisher.

Straight up I think a Sandile bit him and he couldn't get rid of it lol Krookodile is goofy as hell, he just vibes.

Zebstrika is ill-tempered, but it likes Wolfwood a lot its the equivalent of his motorcycle lol

Deserves a dog as well! And while Mightyena isn't really a wolf, it's close enough.

Meryl: Mareep, Unown, Furret, Pachirisu, Rotom, Bewear

She reminds me of a Mareep I can't explain it lol Probs her first pokemon and can't bring herself to evolve it.

Meryls Bewear will beat the shit out of people, the strongest pokemon on her team it vibes check people lol

Rotom is her camera! Very helpful! She probably picked up Unown from college and felt bad leaving it behind so it just follows her around.

Furret is her comfort pokemon, very soft and huggable, she'd also look so cute with a Pachirisu hanging out on her shoulders.

Roberto: Spinda, Klefki, Polteageist, Toucannon, Fletchling, Persian

He likes to drink found the Spinda outside of a bar and straight up stole it.

Doesnt know how he got Klefki just appeared and he can not get rid of it! Was going to use Polteageist as a flask, turned out to be a pokemon! Who knew? Also can not get rid of it

Fletchling and Persian are actually pokemon he's actually wanted and caught. Fletchling lights his cigarette too lazy to evolve it, Persian is a bitch and is good a threatening people.

Him and Toucannon, have the same vibes. But his Toucannon actually likes to fight and will cut a bitch.

#trigun stampede imagine #trigun stampede headcanons #pokemon crossover #trigun stampede crossover #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #meryl stryfe #roberto de niro

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randaccidents · 1 month

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I dunno if it was mentioned before (if it was then uhhhhh just link the post where it was) but how does Soul copes with Heart situations? Because yes, Mind copes by just keeping himself busy, and trying to find a solution. But I can't recall what Soul do. Does they just helps him? Or something more? :^

evil little grin finally. a Penitence ask. about the worst possible thing >:)))

tbh I was gonna explain this in the Penitence character ref lmao

TW for self harm and suicide attempt (the traditional media depiction way this time) + probably inaccurate depiction pls I am trying dont come after me qwq

(IT KEEPS GETTING LONG I have too many thoughts and some might come out wrong)

So I think I mentioned here that both Perseverance and Penitence take Heart's condition poorly and develop incredibly poor and self destructive coping mechanisms in response. But I never talked about Penitence.

Soul is devastated. There is a trauma to finding what is basically the dead body of your brother and Knowing that its been almost a week since the first mention of Heart being unconscious (even if neither of them knew it at the time). He is their vessel and he is his brother's keeper, and he has failed horrendously at both jobs.

{He has the best understanding of how the three of them operate, but even Soul doesn't know whats wrong. Heart isn't dead. Yet. He doesn't know what to do.}

Outside of crying, he holds it together pretty well the first 10 days honestly, compared to Mind. Soul is a little more focused early on in keeping shit together. He takes on a sort of main caretaker/nurse role, monitoring and observing Heart while also eventually forcing Mind to sleep.

The thing is that sitting silently next to an unconscious body gives him time to think (something Mind has been avoiding ironically). His first coping mechanism is to scrape his memory of loops on loops on loops on loops to find something, anything similar, anything that might help him fix this problem that he has created. Because he created this problem didn't he? He condemned Heart to Apathy.

There is nothing. This is a first in the loops. Both extending the punishment and Heart's condition. The realisation breaks Soul. He has never messed up this badly before, and he is the worst version of himself. The guilt and grief is overwhelming.

On day 10 Mind wakes from a dream and walks in on Soul attempting to hang himself.

The rest of the day is a mess, and they make an Oath together afterwards. Neither of them is allowed to give up unless they both have. [A promise to persevere] {A promise to repent}

For the rest of the AU, Penitence picks up the significantly more destructive coping mechanism of cutting himself on the tines of his trident. {Hebrews 9:22: In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.} {Penitence seeks forgiveness more than anything.}

Its his own form of punishment, seeing as Heart can't punish him the way he thinks he deserves. The pain is unwelcome entirely, and does nothing for his thoughts and guilt. Truthfully, the act makes him worse, but punishment is not meant to be nice, and it is penitence and it is repentance. {Repentance, like what he demanded of Heart before leaving him in Apathy. Did repentance help Heart? He is repentant anyway.}

It is a quiet thing, just like how Perseverance's overworking is a quiet thing.

He stops wearing short sleeves and short pants around the house. He wears Heart's hoodie instead. If Perseverance doesnt see he can't be burdened by what he does. [Perseverance knows, knows, knows despite that. The trident drips red. He bandages Penitence daily. He says nothing anyways. He knows this is the price to keep the noose packed away.]

Despite the poor coping mechanism, Penitence does help a lot. He makes sure Heart is comfortable and not freezing his already cold arms off. He cooks and makes sure Perseverance eats and sleeps. He helps monitor and observe and record changes in Heart's condition (even if the record remains "no change" for days).

{When Heart wakes and relapses and wakes and relapses, Penitence takes most of the anger and betrayal and screaming crying accusing that Heart spits at him. He tries his best to shield Perseverance from justified anger by taking it all on himself.}

He scratches at his cuts often. He doesn't allow the cuts to heal. He runs the tines of his trident over any that do. The pain and shakiness of his limbs is a reminder of his crime. He knows this is unsustainable and unhealthy. He can't stop himself, just like how Perseverance can't stop himself either.

Self-blame is one of the worst fates you can inflict on yourself.

#reply #Heartless AU #rand.writ #rand.hc #Heartless story #cccc au #yeahhhhh Penitence takes it POORLY #his self harm is more visceral #I SWEAR THEY ALL GET OUT OF THIS #just yknow #not without a lot of harm #something something self blame is the worst thing you can do to yourself #IT SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN 2 HOURS TO WRITE THIS #BUT I HAVE THOUGHTS #I FORGOT THE TWS #suicide #suicide attempt #self harm

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