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codthefishgod · 2 days

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Am I the only person who hates telling other people about my sexuality irl? I'm proud of being aroace and all, it just gets tiring to explain it every single fucking time.

I mean, I can just say I'm not straight or I'm queer, but then people immediately default to thinking I'm gay if I say that.

It usually goes like this:

Stranger: "Are you straight?"

Me: "Oh, no."

Stranger: "Oh, so you're gay."

Me: "...Nope. Try again."

Stranger: "Bisexual?"

Me: "Nope!"

Stranger: "Can you give me a hint?"

Me: *long sigh* "I can, but I don't think you'll like the answer"

Now cue the explaining it for ten minutes and gods forbid they're aphobic (which, unfortunately, a large percentage of the people I've told are) because that's just a whole other fucking rabbit hole

#asexual #aceprideispridetoo #ace rights #acespec #ace pride #ace #asexuality #aro pride #aroace #aromanticism #aromantic #aro #arospec #aroprideispridetoo #aroaceprideispridetoo #aroace pride #aroace positivity #aroace problems

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arofulboyfriend · 3 days

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I think the thing that bothers me the most about aroacespec (arospec, acespec, and both) erasure in fandom is that we've, for the most part, collectively agreed that it is bad to freeze entire groups out of fandom just because their needs are different than fandom's "collective needs," like how we've agreed to listen to Black and fans of color telling us about how they're treated really poorly and this is unacceptable. that even if fandom has a tendency to only focus on their white male faves, they need to strive to do better so fans of color feel safe and welcome.

But I don't see that same courtesy being extended to aroacespec folks, specifically romance/sex averse/repulsed ones. instead, we get told that our identities are inherently incompatible with fandom, despite fandom being touted as the queer people's activity, because we're not allowed to want or need sfw spaces, or gen fics, or our character's identities to be respected. we're told that if we don't suck it up and become the good and pure smut and romance loving aros/aces, we'll never find community or be welcomed in fandom.

And that sucks, you know? Why should I have to change myself, or stamp down my emotions, just to be one of the Good Ones? why has fandom decided that excluding some groups is okay? why, every time someone tries to create spaces safe for repulsed/averse aros/aces, does it become a subject of mockery and hoping it fails?

why are we expendable?

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aromantic asexual #actually aromantic #actually asexual #actually aroace #aroacespec #aroace problems #aromantic problems #asexual problems #arospec #acespec #seren yaps

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reggieslocket · 4 months

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shoutout to aroace people who survived their relatives' invasive questions about boyfriends and girlfriends i'm proud of you

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the-names-august · 2 months

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“Aroace people can still have romantic and have sexual relationships, so it’s okay to ship them!” Only works if that character has been implied to shown to be on that part of the spectrum.

Plus, this can also create a double standard of shipping. For an example for most (sane) people don’t tend to ship lesbians with men or gays with women, because it blatantly erases that representation. But whenever it’s a aroace character that has never shown any interest In romantic or sexual attraction at all is shipped with another character is seen (by surprising a lot of people) to be okay. Which is annoying.

Aroace people barely have any representation in media because of how lesser known the label is. Especially the ones who are completely disinterested in having any relationships unless they are platonic. So it be like adding salt in the wound by using the “aroace is a spectrum” just to ship a aroace character.

But overall when people do ship a gay man with a woman, or vice versa, it’s usually for the sake of shipping. So in my opinion, if you are going to ship a aroace character (who, once again, is completely disinterested any type of romantic or sexual relationship) with another character, just say because you want to ship them instead of grasping at straws and using flimsy excuses.

#aroace #aro pride #arospec #acespec #aroace spectrum #lgbtq #lgbtqia #aroace character #aroace community #aroace pride #aroace problems #aromantic #asexual #ace pride

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thearoacefromspace · 5 months

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The day Tumblr adds the aroace colors to the tags is the day I can die in peace

#aroace #asexual #aromantic #aro #ace #aroace problems #aroace pride #aroace things

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dreamer0903 · 6 months

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I am not out to anyone and I don't really feel the need to, it's too difficult to explain what aroace means so I just shrug it off and say "nah I don't want a relationship"

Anyone like me?

#aroace problems #aro pride #aroace #arospec #aromantism #aromantic #asexual #asexual pride #ace problems #ace pride #ace #acespec #lgbtq #lgbtq community #relatable #pls help

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space-raccoon1 · 2 months

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Being a closeted Aroace is so difficult sometimes because my friends will go into full detail about how badly they wanna fuck some guy and I’ll just be sitting there like

#aroace #aro pride #closeted #aromantic #asexual #asexual pride #relateable #aromantic pride #aromantic problems #aroace problems #asexual problems

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strangepersonhere · 26 days

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Someone please tell me how do i explain to people that..

I'm in love with my closest friends. Or at least that's how i call it. Because i love them sooooo fucking much. And the deepest type of love there can be. Im in love with them, but not romantically. I don't even know how to explain my feelings ;-;

It's just- damn. How do i tell people that i want to spend my life with them, maybe even live with them. I want to have little routines. I want to have habits with them. But that I'd never be able to be romantically in love with them.

And that's sad because to the society, my love is considered like less a love than romantic love. I dont know how I can explain this better. Because I could write thousands of love letters to some people. I could offer them flowers and chocolates every day of my life. Because I see trinkets that make me think of them, and I want to offer it to them. Because I send them videos that made me think of them.

And to me it's so much deeper than romantic love. It's like... it's like an "I love you" that is beyond friendship, beyond family, beyond romantic love.

I want to be able to love my friends like I do, without having someone asking me if we're a couple, or telling me it's "just" friendship.

I sometimes wish I could create a land meant only for aro/ace/aroace people. But I actually really love diversity. So I just wish people could be more respectful of the things they don't understand. Because having people telling me I'll end up alone with my cats, and I will be sad and frustrated, it's **not** respectful. Moreover, maybe I actually want to be alone with cats. (Honestly it would be ducks for me, but whatever).

Im just asking for basic respect. It doesn't matter if you don't get it. I don't get your sense of love and all, yet you don't see me saying you don't exist or that what you're feeling is just a phase.

Let people do and be what makes them happy.

Mind your damn business.

How am I hurting you by *not* getting bitches ? You should be happy, more for you.

So yeah, what im saying basically is just, please respect people, even when you don't understand them. It might have a bigger impact than what you think.

Love y'all 💜💜💜

#aromantic #asexuality #aroace #asexual #aro #aromantism #arospec #nah but seriously #let's take over Denmark once again #let people live #let people be happy #aroace problems #aspec community #aspec stuff #aspec RULE

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bibi-likes-to-draw · 3 months

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there seems to be this weird thing where people assume people who are ace or aro are somehow cold hearted when some of the sweetest people I have ever met are ace and aro! Guess people can’t fathom someone who is happy fulfilled without a partner

#asexuel #asexual #aromantic #acespec #aromantism #arospec #aroace #asexual problems #aro problems #ace problems #aroace problems #text post

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hamptersadness · 3 months

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Hi it's Hampter and I got questions for aroace indivdials or aro and ace peoplle.

I am doing research project for school about rep for aroace people in the film industry but I would like some of everyone's opinions.

I can't use our aroace experience blog as a source because I didn't actually "interview" them. All quotes will be anonymous unless you give me a fake name that I can put down.

What do you identify as?

When did you figure out your sexuality?

What representation do you see in today's world concerning aroace individuals?

Did you struggle with coming to terms with your sexuality?

Did coming to terms with your sexuality hurt any aspects of your life? (Friends, family, relationships etc)

Do you think you would have benefited seeing characters in tv shows/movies growing up if they had aroace characters?

Is there anything you would like people to know about what being aroace means to you, or anything you would like to say about it?

You can answer all of them or some of them. You can DM me or reply in the comments.

Hugs!<3

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #aro #aroace problems #our aroace experience #asexual #ace #ace problems #aromantic #aroace #aro spec #ace spec #lgbt pride #questions

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hyperfocuscentre · 6 months

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3 stages of aroace discovery

1. Denial

No. . .Nonono. . . It can’t be true, I won’t let it be.

Metaphorical hands attempt to push rising denial downwards, back to the deep burrow it had seated itself in for the past few years. It’s never felt so bitter, so terrifying and sickly as now, when it fights to escape. Reality is sinking down to take its place, but reality is unkind and comes without acceptance.

It’s unfair, despicably cruel and a fucking prime example of life. Life is shit. Life leaves you wondering why it’s you, why you feel this way, why you lack the ability to feel something said to be so strong, so wonderful, so necessary. Love has evaded you for years, and it keeps doing so, twisting and spiralling its way through sharp gaps to keep itself away from cupped, reaching palms.

Your friend likes suchabody then somebody else, and you feel pressured to feel the same. Sometimes you wonder if it’s fake, if it really even exists or if people have been faking it since the dawn of time but then. . .that’s stupid. It’s not fake, it’s very very real and it’s just not for you.

But maybe you can force it?

It doesn’t work. You’re just faulty.

2. Reluctance

You do your research, denial way out of reach and acceptance lost but desperately trying to find it’s way back. You find microlabel after microlabel, some fit you, some don’t. You see people embrace what you struggle to, and it helps. It helps to beat off the isolation, to ground yourself in this newly found reality and to understand that it’s not just you! And isn’t that strangely wonderful, that unity can have such a large scale impact on how you view yourself. You may not love people romantically, or sexually, but you still look for their company, their praise, maybe even their love. You love your guardian, your friends, your pet and maybe that’s enough. Your heart expands, filled with joy and love and it’s okay. It’s okay that the love isn’t romantic, it doesn’t need to be.

Everything is okay.

3. Acceptance

Suddenly every comfort character has your sexuality and you may not announce it loud and proud, but you know and that’s enough.

You are enough as you are, you don’t need to change. You don’t have a missing puzzle piece that slipped from the box, you are complete and you display it with pride through wide smiles and eyes aglow.

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thevoidstaredback · 14 days

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Look, I'm not sex or romance repulsed. I just don't understand them. I can't wrap my head around how or why people feel the way they do.

Frankly, I don't want to understand.

Please don't explain that stuff to me.

There have been occasions where I have asked someone to explain their feelings or how their romantic attraction feels to them, but that's me asking. If I do not ask, do not explain.

I'm not asking you to do this. I'm stating it.

I only bring this up because I can't say this to people in person without people getting pissy. Normally that wouldn't bother me, but when it's people I spend significant amounts of time (whether my own choice or not) with, it gets awkward fast.

Also, I feel like other aros, aces, and aroaces need to say this but can't.

#aroace #aroace problems #aromantic #asexual #aro #ace #unwanted explanations are still unwanted #if I don't ask #politely shove it #I'm feeling aggressive today and I'm making it y'all's problem

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reggieslocket · 11 months

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idk if this is because i'm aroace but it baffles me that dating apps exist like who tf came up with this idea?? i mean i go out with a total stranger with the specific purpose of starting a romantic relationship with them?? what the fuck is that? where's the friendship part? where's the part where we've know eachother for most of our lives? like some people really go "oh hey nice shirt, i know nothing about you but i definitely wanna date you" nah i don't believe it

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thearoacefromspace · 5 months

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Allos you are not allowed to ship canonically aroace characters and use the excuse “aroace people can date too”. We are well aware of what our own sexuality mean.

Yes, aroace people can still date but that’s not the point. You don’t get to decide what aroace characters can and can’t do when you yourself aren’t even on the spectrum

You don’t see people letting straight people decide what gay characters can do so y’all shouldn’t be deciding what our characters can do either

#asexual #aromantic #aro #ace #aroace #aroace characters #aroace representation #aroace problems

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dreamer0903 · 6 months

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Aroace moment:

Me : omg she is so hot!

my friend : yeah, I would totally bang her! would you??

Me : *horrified* WAIT WHAT? OMG NO WHY WOULD I DO THAT?!?

And that is how I found out that I've been using the word "hot" wrong my entire life.

#arospec #lgbtq #ace #ace pride #acespec #aroace #aromantic #asexual #aro pride #lgbtq community #aroace problems #aromantism #asexual problems #ace problems

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theaceofarrows · 27 days

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Real conversation between my sister and I while watching Jaws 2

-

[Shows a bunch of girls walking on the beach and does a five second close-up of their asses]

My sister: Well, that was an unnecessary scene concocted by a male

Me: I don't get that. I just don't understand why people would you want to look at that?? It's just a body part???

My sister: You're too ace coded for that

Me: Yep. It does NOT compute

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #aro #ace #asexuality #ace problems #aroace problems #ace memes

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