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#apologies to anybody who reads this
melit0n · 5 months
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TW for Christianity, just incase.
So, because I grew up having religious ideals dumped into my head from a young age, I'm one of those unfortunate people who manage to see religion in almost everything, so, guess who's back with another religious rant in relation to another band again! Me.
Okay, so, this hand position is almost always used in interpretations of Christ, like in the shown painting of The Scared Heart of Christ (of which I believe is by Emanuel Dite, however the first rendition of the painting is by Pomeo Batoni). It has the connotations of peace, blessing and forgiveness. Plus, the fingers spell out 'IC XC', which was a widely used four letter abbreviation in Greek for Jesus (IHCOYC) Christ (XPICTOC); of which means, obviously, salvation.
Let alone the saint-like halo they've put over his head. Halo in of itself means golden and it's whole reason for being round is to represent the circle; absolute perfection. The halo is always used in depictions of anything holy and or God-like, no matter the religion.
In the most Biblical way possible, Metal Hammer has presented Vessel as something utterly holy; either Saint like or salvation itself. They've managed to do that with a simple photo and I think that's so fucking cool. Either that or I'm trying to make a mountain out of a mole hill.
Credits: left photo taken from Metal Hammer's limited edition cover of their new mag, right photo is Emanuel Dite's rendition of Pomeo Batoni's The Scared Heart Of Christ.
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itsbrucey · 5 months
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Probably last wip of this!! Need to finish the details on the hands + feet but once I get to sit down and color this…. Girl.
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szif · 4 months
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i think ill just continue denying my diagnoses in official settings and go "yeah, i have every single diagnosis and everything you could possibly ask for" in casual settings as i've always had. i can't take meds and i feel like i'm stable and can figure out things on my own so i don't subscribe to any of that mental illness thing anymore. like i'm a great person (possibly better than most people i've ever been around with all my life, just saying), i constantly am on a run and i've develop my own behaviours so i get to have fun as a person & do things like "productivity" in this society. so like i don't need or particularly want therapy, i wanna talk to my feelings to myself & the internet apparently & my friends & anyone it may concern and that's about it. like why would i be smacking myself against the wall over and over again. i'm a person. i do my own thing. i can only do this because i do not struggle as much as anyone could and i do not require outside sources to not burn out. so i feel like that's case closed. autism princess signs out
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starrluvs · 6 months
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I have a request! How about a scenario where we have a very ugly and strong argument with Bi-han, but later he comes back to apologize and let us take it out on him for treating us so badly?
(I just want some agressive sex/rage sex/fury sex with this man)
𝐁𝐈-𝐇𝐀𝐍 | 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐑𝐘/𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐗
cw: fem reader, married couple, piv sex, bi-han is a little rough, reader cant stand bi-han's attitude tbh, angry sex, make up/apology sex, fighting for dominance, cock drunk reader, mentions of bi-han dirty talking in cantonese creampie, bi han and reader are both sassy/petty little shits that still love each other, and i think that's it! minors dni please!
wc: 2.6k
a/n: wow idk why this took me so long, but i kinda like this one ;) ... ty for this idea, nonnie <3 i also want to mention that the mention of bi-han speaking/dirty talking in cantonese was heavily inspired by a headcanon i seen from @bihansthot ! anyways, enjoy!!
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silent treatment was without a doubt something that bi-han absolutely loathed. he truly believed it’d be better off if you were to scream your lungs out at him instead. but getting a cold shoulder and silent treatment from you was something his ego couldn’t handle. had anybody else dared to ignore his presence the way you had these past forty-eight hours, he’d probably have them executed after the first five minutes of this frivolous behaviour. but you, his wife, was a different case.
bi-han couldn’t discipline or punish you the way he would towards his students and lower ranked lin kuei ninjas. you were his wife– his equal –and this silent game of ‘who’s willing to crack first?’ was driving him mad, although he’d never admit that to anybody… yet.
the fabric of the towel was soft against your hands while you worked on drying out your hair. having just exited the shower, you were in nothing but a silk blue robe that complemented your husband's traditional colour scheme. just the thought of him made you scoff out loud and shake your head, who the hell did he think he was?, you thought to yourself. about two days ago, bi-han appeared to be grumpy when he arrived back at your shared compound after finishing his duties for the day. 
being the supportive wife you were, you tried to talk to your husband, ask him if he needed anything from you, or even tried to see if he would be vocal about what was bothering him. and much to your dismay, he lashed out on you as if you were some peasant who worked under him during the day– which you sure as hell weren't.
“leave me be. the last thing i need tonight is another insignificant fool blabbering in my ear constantly.” 
his voice was sharp when he walked past you and entered your shared bedroom. bi-han having miserable mood swings wasn’t something new, but he almost never verbally took out his stress on you– possibly because he knew better. truth be told, you were too tired for his attitude today and had no intentions of letting him ruin your peaceful afternoon. all you did was let out a ‘hmph’ that you purposely made loud enough for him to hear and continued in silence with the fruit you were cutting up for yourself in the kitchen.
ever since that transpired, you haven’t said a word to bi-han and completely ignored his presence, which made his blood run colder than it already was. he was a hard person to read when he kept his usual stoic expression, but deep down you knew he was aware of how frustrated you were with him. which is exactly what you wanted.
letting out a tired sigh, you look at yourself in the mirror and take time to fix up your hair before exiting the bathroom and arriving at your bed. as you sat in silence for a moment, you felt the temperature noticeably drop… he’s here. rolling your eyes, you decide to comfortably tuck yourself in on your side of the shared bed and warm yourself up from the chilly air.
however , your eyes never shut– not even when the door creaks open slowly and reveals your husband’s tall form. his demeanour didn’t seem to be as aggressive compared to how it was two days ago, which you were grateful for. but you still avoided eye contact with him and stared at the wall in silence, not wanting to be bothered. you knew your worth and refused to feed into your husband's ego, because you knew that it was already big enough… your thoughts came to a halt when you heard bi-han speak up. “your juvenile behaviour is astounding,” he scoffs, and you can damn near feel his eyes piercing into you. 
in response, you calmly grab your pillow and walk right past him, making your way to the living room. bi-han watches you settle yourself down on the couch as you lay down and begin to curl yourself up comfortably. all he does is release a sigh from his lips, contemplating on what his next course of action should be. bluntly calling you childish probably wasn’t the best thing to say after two days of neither of you talking to each other, but he couldn’t stop himself from speaking his mind.
deep down he knew he’d have to put his pride and ego aside to resolve this. he was the eldest of three sons, a powerful and deadly assassin, the grandmaster of the lin kuei– and yet here he was, allowing silent treatment from his wife to get under his skin. letting out a stubborn groan, bi-han made his way towards you and knelt down on the mat so that he was at face level with you on the couch. 
he calls out your name in the softest way he could, hoping you would turn to him. but he clearly failed to get your attention as you didn’t say anything back. his small whim of patience had already run out, “do you insist on telling me what your problem is?” this time his tone sounded more cold and gruff, as usual. rolling your eyes once again for the night, you turn to bi-han and finally speak to him, “last i recall, i was just a mere insignificant fool blabbering in your ear when i tried to talk,” he could've sworn your tone was sassy, sarcastic and authoritative all at once– as if you were just waiting to bite at him.
if he was being honest, it’s one of the many things he found so attractive about you. the way you didn’t take shit from anybody– not even himself –made bi-han fall hard for you… he needed a strong willed woman by his side. but moments like this proved to be a form of self realisation. the only people who would ever dare to talk back to him were just you and his brothers. he was so used to everyone following his lead and command, it was almost… refreshing, to have somebody stand their ground.
the glare and frown you had on your face was something you were far too beautiful for. bi-han closed his eyes and inhaled as calmly as possible, trying to collect his words and choose them wisely. “what i said to you that day was regrettable–” you cut him off before he could continue, “and?,” you were already unimpressed with his words, “it’s not like there’s anything you can say to take it back.” your husband must’ve known that just words alone wasn’t going to solve this. 
“i understand that, but,” his cold hand gently grasps your arm, causing goosebumps to raise all over your body. “perhaps there’s something i can do to make amends for what i’ve done?”
and now you’re here, back on your shared bed, taking out your own frustration above bi-han on his cock. you had your hands planted on bi-han’s chest as you bounced up and down his shaft, “fuck..!” your voice lost that sting it previously had, making bi-han grow a prideful grin on his face. “still trying to put me in my place?” your husband’s taunting only made you feel more agitated than you already were. with an attempt to keep your moan in, you bite down on your lower lip and snake your hands up to bi-han’s neck, keeping a slight grip. “s-shut– ngh!– up…” the movement of your hips refused to come to a halt, forcing bi-han to lay back and stay below you.
it felt like a battle for dominance between the two of you. two hard headed (and sometimes ignorant) lovers trying to prove to each other how much power they had over one another. bi-han was confident that you knew how easily he could overpower you in terms of strength, but decided to let you have your little wish of ever taking control over him. looking down at him, his chest was covered in sweat and his ears and cheeks were flushed in a light shade of pink. though you’d have to admit that your hands around his neck were a great touch. it felt as if there was a surge of power and control coursing through you.
apart from his occasional groans, the cryomancer stayed silent as he watched your voluptuous body on top of his. noticing your lover’s face contort in pleasure, you can’t help but spew out more words, “yeah… did you r-really, ah!, think that i would tolerate that b-behaviour from y– f-fuck!,” before you could finish blurting out what you wanted to, bi-han had gripped your hips hard enough to stop your movements as he fucked up into you, making you cry out at the sudden surprise of pleasure he was bringing you.
the grandmaster only chuckled. he found your sounds pitiful, “you talk too much.”  from the way his cock was jackhammering into you, it proved too difficult to spit out any sort of petty comment towards him. the speed of his thrusts made your body feel limp and your husband took note of this from the moment you slumped down, hiding your face in the crook of his neck. his voice was dangerously close to your ear from this angle, “mmm…such an incompetent attempt of being in control,” your pride disallowed you from letting out any moans, “fuck.. y-you..!” hearing how slurred your words were only made bi-han scoff.
your attempts at keeping composure were becoming futile and bi-han knew how close you were to cumming around his length with the way your pussy tightened and gripped him like a vice. “i can feel how close you are, love,” bi-han stops his thrusts but keeps himself fully buried inside of you. before you could get the chance to protest or whine, the cryomancer speaks up. “i have no intention of letting you cum until you accept my apology.” the expression he held was smug while he secured your waist with that same grip he had before, making you unable to move your hips. 
you’d been so focused on taking out your frustration on him that you forgot the whole point of this was him trying to make amends for how he lashed out on you. truthfully, you would’ve purposely told your husband that he’d have to take you out on a fancy date in order for you to accept his apology… but you already felt so fucked out from how his cold cock was abusing your insides just moments ago. you were so close, and you needed that coil in your stomach to snap. “fuck, i forgive you– okay? just let me cum already, pleaseee–!” bi-han groans in response and glides a cold finger to press on your clit, making you shiver in pleasure at how swollen and sensitive your bud feels. without any more wasted time, the grandmaster delivers his quick thrusts from underneath you once again and rubs fast circles on your clit.
the feeling of everything was becoming overwhelming, “ahh– ‘s good! it f-feels so g– ngh!” your mind was clouded with lust and each sentence you tried to complete ended up failing to connect coherently. there were words that left bi-han’s mouth, but you could barely decipher what he was saying with the way your heart beat drummed in your ears– 
it was in that moment, your cries echoed in the room as you pulsed around his cock, gushing around his member. bi-han reduced the speed of his thrusts while trying to help you ride out your high. once you finally come back down from your bliss, you feel your husband's cold, rough hands manhandle you and flip the position that you two were in. you were now layed on your back as bi-han towered over you, parting your legs and easing between them. 
being able to admire your body with the positions swapped felt so refreshing to bi-han. watching the way your breasts heaved up and down with short breaths… the way your skin was coated with sweat, resulting in your hair being out of place from its presentable manner you previously had it in. and being able to see your juices not only coating his cock– but also the inside of your thighs. seeing your slick trickle down to the mattress… gods, you were so beautiful like this. 
bi-han couldn’t waste any more precious time just observing when you were unintentionally inviting him to ravish you even more than he already has. the cryomancer grabs your leg and hooks it over his shoulder as he positions himself enough to easily slide his cock into your pussy. being filled up again made your walls flutter– you wanted to be here forever, just taking his cock while it stuffed you full. to no surprise, bi-han’s thrusts were rough as he began to chase his own high.
your moans never came to an end and were only received as noises to push bi-han further. the cryomancer decides to place a grip on both of your legs this time and leans closer, pinning your knees right by your ears and increasing the force of his thrusts. your folded position had you seeing stars as bi-han’s cock was angled even deeper than before. the way his tip kissed your sweet spot again and again– you could no longer stop your tongue from lolling out, followed by drool rolling down from your mouth.
bi-han snickers, “all of that attitude earlier…” he moves closer to your face and his nose touches yours, “just to be reduced to a cock hungry vixen beneath me– shit!” your husband spits out, feeling how your walls clenched around him from his harsh words. even if you were able to coherently speak, you would never admit how much of a mess you become when bi-han works his cock inside of you…
the grandmaster felt himself becoming dangerously close to his climax, and you felt it with the way his rock hard cock twitched inside of you. his volume started to increase and his grunts became shallow moans that he desperately tried to hold back. noticing this, you use the last bit of your energy to purposely squeeze hard around him, clamping your pussy around his cock as if you were trying to keep it all for yourself. the unexpected action made bi-han lace out a loud string of swears and words in his mother tongue. although you didn’t quite understand what he was saying, you were aware that they were phrases he only used in scenarios like this, making you assume that only vulgar words were leaving his mouth.
the roles were reversed now– this time he was the one hiding his face in the crook of your neck with your lips right by his ear. his hips started to stutter and lose the rhythm it previously had. letting out a lustful hum, you speak into his ear, “inside… haah– c-come on..! fuckin’ fill me up, please!” hearing your voice spew out these words was enough to do it– he filled you to the brim with his seed.
you made sure to milk him dry, taking every drop that he had to offer you. both of you laid there, completely fucked out and exhausted– his body was still slouched over yours while he took time to catch his breath. very slowly, he pulled his cock out of you and planted a peck on your lips, “in no other realm would i have imagined reciting vows with a woman that carried such a flame and sharp tongue,” he leans down and places yet another kiss to your swollen lips, 
“yet i could never imagine falling in love with anybody else…”
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vicissicude · 4 months
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reading the transcript of james somerton's video and here's some notable stuff for people who dont want to watch the 34 minute long thing:
it opens with him saying his media blackout is because he was in the hospital for "trying to do something really stupid"
the first thing approaching an apology in this apology video is at the timestamp 2:20
immediately after saying "i'm really really sorry" he says that in title cards he tried to put "this is based on this person's research or this person's book" but he "knows that isnt enough now"
"there were a lot of times that stuff just got put in and there was no attempt at crediting anybody and i'm really really sorry" nice passive voice james
he claims he didnt know he was hurting people doing this
he spends two minutes explaining how long he's been friends with nick and all their history and that nick has not spoken with him since "this happened"
"I also want to apologize for the misinformation and just outright lies that ended up in the videos I can honestly say that I never intended for any of that stuff to be in the videos. And most cases I didn't write it but I should have […] I should have been more diligent about factchecking" he never intended lies to be in the video, just pure good research that he stole. research that he later says he took for granted
he briefly thanks harris and his team for the fund set up for victims of plagiarism and says he wants to help but doesn't know how
less than a second later he's saying that all claims and estimations of how much he makes online are overestimated and that he split everything 50/50 with nick
he says his plan moving forward is to reupload all the videos, put credit in the description, and then somehow send the ad revenue for those videos to the authors whose research he stole. do those authors want that? wonder if he even asked them. i mean if he stole my shit for a video i wouldnt want him to reupload with a credit in the description and whatever paltry cents i get from the few views he'll manage after this
"I never thought anyone thought that I was doing like journalism on stuff. I don't think anyone did, but the people who actually were doing it should have been given the credit they deserved." wild sentence bro
he once again defends his title card citations in two videos and appends "but now I know that's not how citation works" so why are you still saying it...
at some point he'd like to do videos again, and his plan for that is "videos that are fully sourced where I will put a link to the script where you can find all of the sources so that everyone is properly given the credit that they deserve." now i could be reading this purposefully negatively but this just sounds like a description citation again but with extra steps
he wants to be a "really good example" of proper citation
"People think that I hate ace people and women and bisexual people and lesbians and that's not true. I'm sorry that stuff made it into the videos. I promise you I did not write that stuff. I should have been a lot more extracting when Nick and I would be editing scripts but I promise you that I don't think those things […] when it came to that I would just kind of run with Nick's judgement and his observations and stuff like that." SO THE ONE THING THAT HARRIS SAID WAS NOT PLAGIARIZED AND SEEMED TO BE JAMES'S REAL OPINION HE WANTS US TO KNOW THAT HE DEFINITELY DOESNT FEEL THAT WAY AND WAS JUST PARROTING NICK'S OPINION. but dont worry right after this he assures us he's not trying to "throw Nick under the bus"
he says he thinks they were just trying to do videos too fast and writing and editing too fast
"Telos was never a scam. It was never a grift or anything like that I swear it was not. In the next couple of days I'm going to send out a message to the supporters on Indiegogo and explain the whole situation in more detail to them." can't wait to read that explanation
he spends more time talking about the videos he'd like to make in the future
"I actually liked doing research. I loved doing research, reading the books and articles and stuff like that. The part of me that was lazy was the copy and paste part. I wasn't trying to be malicious that was just laziness." james. that's not as great of an explanation as you might think. it just shows how blatantly you dont respect or care for other creators. you only did it because you believed you could get away with it, not just because you were lazy
he says the reason he's reactivating his patreon is because there were several people online theorizing that his plan was to relaunch in january to pull surprise billing and run with the money. so he said he's relaunching now to give people time to leave ("which i imagine will be the vast majority" can't pass up the opportunity to be self-deprecating)
he ends the video restating what he said earlier in the video
notably he's crying the whole time
one thing i'll say is that i didn't see anything that indicated he communicated with harris or kat or anyone. it sounded like he was coming up with that plan on the fly. i'm not surprised if he claimed it elsewhere or has failed to follow up on that promise, but it has only been 5 hours since release (at the time i'm typing this). so at least he's not making claims quite as bold as "i've been in communication with hbomberguy"
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Omae: Complexity of Self-Expression and Intimacy with the Japanese “You”
(Update: I have written a follow-up to this post wherein I exhaustively examine Katsuki's "you" pronoun usage, including every time he uses omae. Please be sure to read both posts! :D)
The anime adaption of chapter 322 is rapidly approaching, so I wanna talk about something really interesting: as far as I can tell, Izuku is the only person Katsuki has ever used the pronoun omae (おまえ) towards in-canon. Furthermore, he has only used omae towards Izuku on three occasions.
The first time is after Deku vs. Kacchan 2 in chapter 120.
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The second time is right after his apology in chapter 322. (Katsuki actually uses omae four times in a row in this scene.)
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(We'll get to the third time later, just you wait.)
Why does Katsuki address Izuku differently in these scenes? To answer this, we’re gonna commit some language nerdery.
First, let’s be real about the fact that Japanese pronouns can be complicated. There are a ton of them. You learn the common uses—like you could say that, broadly, omae tends to be used by guys for their friends and romantic partners. But the reality is that in a high-context language like Japanese, pronouns can come across wildly differently depending on who uses it, to whom, with what tone, and in what context.
It is difficult to generalize real-life usage, so to be clear, I am talking about MHA as a piece of media. I could try to tell you that omae is rude but also friendly but also condescending but also comedic but also confrontational but also affectionate—and so on, but that wouldn’t help you understand what Katsuki’s omae to Izuku means and why it feels significant.
The thing is, Izuku and Katsuki can each say omae and mean completely different things, because their normal way of speaking tells us how to interpret their words.
When Izuku speaks, he is polite and considerate. He uses the boyish first-person pronoun boku (僕). In Japanese, avoiding second-person pronouns is the polite thing to do; you use the person’s surname and an appropriate suffix instead, and this is the tactic Izuku uses to address others. When he does say “you,” it is usually the familiar kimi (君) towards Katsuki.
We see Izuku use omae in only a few circumstances: he uses it towards himself during inner monologues when he is trying to figure out what to do or compel himself to act, and he uses it when he faces All For One.
Both of these involve what I think of as “tough talk”—Izuku talks tough to himself to push past his fears and be a hero. With AFO, he is talking to a villain, someone he has to defeat. From someone like Izuku who speaks with such politeness and humility, omae reads as aggressive and confrontational.
Katsuki, on the other hand, is always aggressive and confrontational. He uses the masculine, somewhat boastful first-person pronoun ore (俺) and the second-person pronoun temee (てめえ) towards just about everybody. Temee is an extremely rude, combative word; Japanese descriptions usually point out that it reads like fightin’ words—it’s what you’d call an opponent, someone you are confronting, challenging, or belittling. As mentioned, you’re supposed to avoid “you” words to be polite, so the fact that Katsuki whips out temee constantly and makes up insulting nicknames instead of using anybody’s real name is just like, damn, dude!
Unlike Izuku, Katsuki sounds like he is challenging everyone all the time. This means that, coming from him, omae actually seems gentler.
After Deku vs. Kacchan 2, he opens his sentence with omae, and Izuku looks startled by this.
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They just had a huge, emotional fistfight, and Katsuki… isn’t addressing him as an opponent, like he always has before. For once, he is addressing Izuku not as his enemy, but his equal.
This scene is the first time Katsuki properly grapples with the truth of their mutual weaknesses and comes to an understanding about it. It leaves him frustrated and unsure, but he walks away seeing himself and Izuku as being on the same side.
Because he takes All Might's words to heart: they are two halves of what makes a hero. They need to learn from each other and push each other to truly reach their best—as rivals, not enemies.
In chapter 322, Katsuki talks Izuku through how he felt about him all these years. He goes over all the things he's had to face to see how wrong he was, to see his own weakness and Izuku's strength. The whole time, he uses the "you" word he always has: temee.
But when it comes time to tell Izuku his true feelings, he calls Izuku by his given name, apologizes, and then right away he says this:
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This is a direct call-back to the core question that Katsuki posed to Izuku during Deku vs. Kacchan 2: "Is my way of admiring All Might wrong?"
The second half to that question has always been, implicitly, "Does that mean yours is right?"
Here, Katsuki acknowledges Izuku fully as All Might's successor and affirms that Izuku's path is not wrong, using omae to tell him so. And then he uses it three more times to convince Izuku to come back with them and fight together, "because saving people is how we win."
To me, omae in this scene comes across with such softness. He's speaking with more humility than we've ever seen, both in what he's conveying and his word choice. (There is a whole other conversation to be had about Katsuki's word choice for "I'm sorry," but that is for a different time.)
This omae is not just a sign that he sees Izuku as his equal, it's expressing care for him. Katsuki sacrificed his life for Izuku, telling him, "Stop trying to win this on your own." He is trying so hard to make Izuku understand: Come back, I was wrong. Come back, I care about you.
Which brings us to the third time Katsuki uses omae: chapter 362.
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That's right, the infamous "Can I still catch up to you?" / "Can I still reach you?" line uses omae.
Here's the thing that's unique about this omae: it's in Katsuki's head. This is internal monologue; he isn't talking out loud to Izuku, he isn't trying to convey something to him face-to-face, he is just thinking about Izuku.
The word choice isn't for anyone else's benefit or any external purpose: this is just how Katsuki sees him.
I can't overstate how soft, vulnerable, and sincere this moment is for Katsuki. And what gets me about him thinking of Izuku as omae is, it makes me wonder, "How long has he thought of Izuku this way?"
When did Izuku stop being temee in his head?
Changing how you address someone is a big deal in Japanese. Whether it's a name or suffix change (Deku -> Izuku) or a pronoun change (temee -> omae), it represents a significant shift in the emotional dynamics of a relationship.
It crops up a lot in media as a dramatic moment of intimacy, sometimes even being a part of love confessions. This heightened drama is exactly what we see with Katsuki's apology when he calls him Izuku.
Katsuki addresses only Izuku with his given name and omae, and in the whole run of the series, he only uses omae in a few select instances. I would argue that this is really important, subtle character writing.
Looking at the scenes, at least to me, each omae reads as progressively more honest and intimate. Each time Katsuki uses it, he is reaching for Izuku. Each time, it means more.
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faetreides · 4 months
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FIND YOUR LOVE | CORIOLANUS SNOW
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summary: modern!coriolanus snow thoughts
cw: crack treated seriously vibes, typical coryo warnings, possessiveness/obsessive behavior, piss kink mention, period blood mention, spit kink mention, slight impact play mention, coryo and reader both have double majors because they’re overachievers, plus sized reader implications, drake mention, reader has bunny teeth & hip dips & glasses, talks of carving letters into skin, spying mention, overstimulation mention, images used in social media elements are not an exact represtation of the reader’s gender or image & are more about the vibes, “wife” usage but he’d feminize you no matter what, implications of sejanus playing the long game, 18+ minors dni
word count: 2.4k
requests are open (read the rules first <3)
block & move on if uncomfortable.
do not repost or translate!!
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Unaware rich kid because while a tragedy did happen in the family (his mother dying in childbirth according to his politician father who was later assassinated) nothing happened to really set them back to square one like in canon. He never really has had to claw himself back to the top, he’s just always been on a steady elevator ride to it.
Clumsy in the beginning in the way that he tries to be intimidating. He’s never had to starve so how can he understand its usefulness as a weapon?
Meets scholarship student double major classics and archaeology (minor in philosophy) reader who has only ever struggled.
The type to violently beat someone to near death on a whim and smirk as he’s escorted out of the police station with apologies because his family’s amazing team of lawyers were called.
Definitely part of some Saltburn ass family where you visit and you’re just like “what the fuck?” the things the 1% normalize (there are rumors of his family being cannibals back in the day, they might be a crime family, his high school principal fucked his mom AND his dad) never cease to disturb and confuse you but the gardens are very nice!
Strolls with you through them to seem romantic but also to brag about his family on your second date that he insisted be at his house (he was kind enough to let your first be at his family’s vacation house in the south of France)
Piss kink (creaks the bathroom door open to hold your hand or he leans against the door and stares you down if you take too long), period sex (more the type to eat you out on your period though) spit sharing and smearing, etc. Because of his carefully manufactured image, when he’s in love he just wants to completely let go and be gross and have that he accepted by the person be loves (plus it scratches the possessive itch in his brain by marking you and knowing you’d be too embarrassed to do it with anybody else)
Really only hand spanks you when you’re actively fucking and he’s so caught up in it all, he just grips the flesh of your ass and furiously jiggles it in his hands in between brisk strikes of his open palms and gets caught on your hole accidentally, it gets to the point where you’d want him to hit harder even if you thought you wouldn’t be into it because it’s just so unintentionally teasing.
Unlike the stereotypes, wouldn’t really be into drinking (other than wine because he thinks he’s above the beer drinking peasants) or drugs (other than the occasional line of cocaine 🤭) thinks keeping a clear head while you’re doing evil plotting is important. Typical white college rich boy hypocrisy (keeps you away from it though, even weed because it can kill your brain cells and he likes his bunny smart.)
He WILL carve his full government name onto you like a womb tattoo if you answer his texts 5 seconds after he expects you too. You CANNOT play with him.
Asked you out by leaving a bouquet of roses on your desk every morning with a note like “these are my grandma’am’s roses, and their beauty could only remind me of you 🥺🥹” (he threatened your roommate to deliver them and made sure they did thanks to the hidden camera he also had them put in)
Double major Political Science and Latin, minor in Philosophy but he likes ancient/older philosophy more. #1 “um actually 🤓👆” offender (hell is hot but his body runs ice cold, so he does not care <3) someone says they like philosophy and he goes “name three philosophers other than Nietzsche and Camus. I bet you’re the type to read Kafka too huh? whore.” (/j)
So hot though like modern Coryo has the curls but a touch shaggier. Everyone on campus turns their phones to the side and takes “discreet” pictures and makes those whisper posts like “need me an unhinged crazy jealous psycho possessive bf” but they’re not you so that wish will never come true :)
Say you’re going to McDonald’s, and he will kill you (if you’re from the south and you try to feed him anything traditional you’re used to, his charcuterie board and caviar eating ass will implode)
Another student in class asks you to borrow a pencil & his brain genuinely goes haywire so without looking he sends them the “let’s play a little game I made” TikTok (by the time you look back at him, he’s warmly smiling as he makes sure you see his hand sliding up his thigh)
If you think you’re working after getting your degree (he could’ve made you drop out, be grateful you get to spend more time together this way) then you’ve got a big storm coming (hope you can accept being baby trapped mwah)
He’s your little chihuahua named sparkles that bites people.
Emotional drake listener
The type where if you 99.7% (he will allow some wiggle room) give into his delusion and insanity, it’s nothing but smooth sailing (for you) and sex would still be passionate but never rough. Sometimes he slips a bit, but you just get more family heirloom jewelry and 5 billion sessions of oral as apologies.
On the swim team and runs track (somehow still looks hot no matter what doing those sports, wants you lick all the sweat off his body after he’s done. (he’d do that for you.) has a private yacht and does polo with Sejanus.
You once sat down, opened a package of cabbage leaves and went to town & Coryo knew in that moment that love is not a choice, it’s a curse.
Buys you mountains of clothes (the softest sweaters or the tightest evening wear because he loves how nothing about your body is hidden from him and one of his favorite ways to wind down is to soothe the marks left by the tight clothes digging into the chub of your tummy with his tongue) also loves how much bigger your thighs get when they spread out as you straddle him in one of his buttons up that reaches just under your ass.
Has a garage full of classic cars that he fucks you in and takes you on drives in.
(Insp. by that one video) fucks you on your stomach while cradling your jaw and when he’s done, he’s kissing down your back and all over your ass while hold a hand on the back of your neck. Eats you out upside-down kneeling straight up on the bed, the skin of your thighs spilling between his fingers as he grips them and nearly bends you in half. You don’t really ride him because he uses you like a fleshlight.
Tits guy no matter the size, prefers jerking off over them and covering them in cum over a boob job.
He won’t let you out in it, but you can be his bunny for Halloween since your front teeth remind him of a bunny, he already has the ears and tail waiting for you. That tweet where it’s like “okay everybody my bf’s about to walk in you all have to clap or I’m blowing this whole fucking building up” but that’s him when it comes to you.
Canon era snow is a girl dad, but modern snow is a boy dad, I fear.
Met you when you had just finished checking into your dorm, you were scrambling all over the place and without looking you bumped into the it boy of the school. His hands suddenly curved like shackles around your hips, his fingers subconsciously stroking your hip dips being the only reason you both didn’t careen to the floor from the collision.
“You should be more careful, wouldn’t want you to get a nasty bruise now, would we?” said with an unreadable yet playful tone and a snake’s smile, lips slightly curled up in the corners and a little too many teeth showing to feel truly comforted. His tongue flicks over his canines for a split second.
Smells like Maison Francis Kurkdijan’s baccarat rouge 540 (buzzcut Coryo gives Dior Sauvage vibes)
Matching airpod max sets and lets you put little bows on his.
Impeccable cable management, phone wirelessly charging on the nightstand or kitchen counter until it’s at 100% and doesn’t charge it again until it’s at 1%
Teaches you how to swim if you don’t know how, with a hand curled under your neck and another under your thigh to help you float. But has no problem just lounging with your back on his chest on the deck of his yacht or laying his head on your chest while you read together on the private beach he booked during your trip.
Slowly fingers you while making out with you and massaging your throat with his other hand. His chunky rings make clanging sounds against your pussy, and he smiles into your lips when you whine. He rests his forehead against yours & slowly spits in your mouth when it falls open as he makes you cum over and over until you’re too tired to leave the apartment he bought for the two of you.
Jiggles your tummy rolls when you’re fucking but sometimes, he’ll just casually bite them, loves laying his head on your stomach and when you sleep. He likes to have a firm grip on the chub of your tummy. He also just plays with it, pulls it, and kneads it but occasionally he’ll gently smack it.
NUTS ON YOUR STRETCH MARKS LIKE HE’S ICING A CINNAMON ROLL
Anyway, his grandma’am owns a fleet of flower shops across the country as well as managing the snow family’s gardens, and luckily enough the one closest to campus was hiring when you enrolled!
Pisces sun Capricorn rising Aries mars, stay strong.
Has to look you in the eyes or he can’t cum.
Always keeps glasses cleaner and a microfiber cloth on him so the second he sees you rub your eyes in frustration because you can’t see through them anymore (because in your mind that would somehow fix it) and reach to grab them off your face, he’s snaking his hand out and snatching them up. He doesn’t even give then back to you; he tenderly tucks your hair behind your ears and slowly slides them back on your face. literally booping the center of them with a grin. Also has your custom designed glasses case (with his initials) in one of his bag’s front pockets.
You asked him to buy you the Gojo skin in Fortnite and he grumbled “you already have my information.” But in his mind, he’s like “what does he have that i don’t?” 💀 (he’ll lose his mind when he finds out you like Geto more). Will play with you on a team consisting of the two of you and Sejanus. (so, he can keep an eye on you two)
Has very pretty cum, pearly and so thick you get jump scared when it leaks out because your pussy tries to weakly clench to keep it inside and it just pushes through. Cums less often but when he does its huge continuous loads, humps against whatever part of you he can like a dog and lays his head on your chest.
You could almost argue he likes anal more than anything else. When he eats you out, you run an extremely high risk of him “getting lost” and starting to eat out your other hole. When his dick slips out, he makes you watch while he slaps it against your clit and drags it through your slick to teasingly act like he’s going to push it into your ass.
Kisses his camera when you fall asleep on facetime if you’re apart from each other. wipes his lips afterwards though for sanitary reasons.
For sure the type to go overboard when someone says they want honest advice. Then when they’re on the verge of tears and he’s made everything worse, he goes “that’s just me though, who am I to judge yk? take it with a grain of salt.”
Museum dates but he’s pointing at depictions of goddesses and saying, “that’s you.”
Will drop kick those annoying Sephora kids if you need a certain product that they’re going after.
Y’all are battling for who has more products, your bathroom so is huge but every time you move something’s always falling off the double vanity sink.
If you need an inhaler or an EpiPen or anything like that, he’ll always have one on him. when you need it, his reaction is so fast you almost can’t see it and he tries to hide how his hands shake slightly even if the attack you're dealing with is more minor.
You could tell him you hate coconut and when you go on your fancy little dates to 5 stars restaurants, if your plate has even the tiniest hint of coconut, he’s sending that back with the harshest glare on his face imaginable (“They asked for no pickles!” *Gunshots* vibes)
Gets jealous of fictional characters, you show the slightest interest in a man who’s literally not real and his eye nearly falls out from how much it twitches.
The possessive bf coded TikTok trends you’d make him do would go crazy though like the nails on his dick through his pants one, any princess treatment one, any one where you’re dancing and he has to cover you, “hey daddy” & other text ones.
Alarms every five minutes, not only for him but he wants to be awake at the same time as you for a bit before you have to go your separate ways during the day. (kisses your temple when you slump against him while you try to wake up)
“What’s up, Petal?”
“What’s up, Coryo?”
While he acts like he’s been doing you a favor all this time, he would get you that engagement ring that has a spike going through the finger bone in it, and he would get a matching one <3.
Double penetration with a dildo that’s a replica of his cock 😻😽
Closet bi (childhood crush on Sejanus, who btw has been eyeing you too much for his liking lately.)
Scars on his back from An Incident. shaved his head and dropped out of school for a bit but it wasn’t hard for his family to get him back in
Gives you the worst side eye when you ask him to play Roblox total drama island with you but when Sejanus offers, he’s galloping to his pc (he absolutely kills it, like he’s undefeated and he’s not afraid to bully whatever kids are in the game)
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Vibes:
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a/n: this is lowkey so cringe but i am free. i hate him (i'd tell him i love him on the first date.) will definitely do more with this verse but have this brainrot for now. hope you enjoyed anyway! btw i'll actually be opening comissions next month. so i'd really appreciate it if y'all would keep that in mind! talk to me about modern coryo or any version of coryo lol.
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larueluvr · 3 months
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Hands off
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Clarisse La Rue x Fem! daughter of demeter!reader
Warnings: Sexual harassment, some gross boy, unwanted touch, swearing, some fluff near the end, petnames, established relationship between Clarisse and read- implied to have been dating for a while, I think thats all but let me know if I missed anything :)
Apologies in advance to anybody named Jackson 🙏🏼
It's pretty short cause this is my first time writing in Tumblr
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You and Clarisse had a perfect contrast of personalities. You were know as the counselor of the Demeter cabin: kind, collected, and gentle. Clarisse, on the other hand, was regarded by several campers as temperamental and mean. She'd never been like that with you, though. Sure you'd seen that side of her in some situations, but it'd never been directed at you. To her, you were an angel. A queen. And she'd rather every person in that camp think of her as some aggressive bully before she'd ever let anyone treat you otherwise.
You and Clarisse had met up for the camp bonfire not long ago: maybe 30 minutes or so before she'd been asked by a younger camper of Ares cabin for some help, begrudgingly leaving the space beside you empty and promising to be back quick.
After a few minutes by yourself, you heard footsteps trailing up behind you. The person stepped over the log you were sat on and you turned your head to see a boy you weren't sure you'd met before sitting a bit too close for your comfort. He was tall, decently bigger than you, with muscles and long-ish wavy brown hair which you honestly doubted had been washed in a few days.
"Jackson. Cabin 12" he introduced himself. Dionysus. You figured that explained the smirk of false confidence he wore as he rested a hand on your knee. "Im-" "I know who you are" he cuts you off. Your face contorted into a strange mix of a frown and grimace. "You're y/n. I've had my eye on you." His smile as he says this seemed as though it were meant to charm you, though that paired with what he said only gave you an uneasy feeling as you lifted his hand off your knee and promptly dropped it.
"Actually I was gonna say I'm seeing someone" you reply shortly. He chuckles, less humor to it though as it seems more mocking than anything, moving his hand back to your knee with more force to it this time, and his other taking your hand in his. "And I'm sure that 'someone' couldn't possibly make you feel as good as I can."
"She actually-" him cutting you off was starting to seriously piss you off, as well as this frankly disgusting hand placement. "She? Oh you're way too pretty to be gay, princess. Maybe you just need the right guy. Y'know, if you gave me a chance I could be that for you." You made another attempt to pull your hand from his and remove his other off your knee, ultimately failing due to the force he used.
"Don't call me that. And get the hell off me" you say harshly, pushing against his arm as his hand travels the tiniest bit up from your knee. "Just let me prove it to you" he says with sickly flirty tone.
Before you could respond, you saw a familiar figure speed past you and to the boy sat beside you. His touch was removed in an instant as he was lifted from his seat and held by his shirt as your girlfriend stood angrily Infront of him, everyone's gaze falling upon the scene unfolding. "Get your hands off of her before you fucking lose them" she says loudly, shoving him onto the ground and watching with a sadistic smirk as she watches him scamper off weakly, having lost every ounce of that confident facade he'd worn just moment ago.
Looking away, she saw the eyes on you both and she knew the affect it'd have on you. "What!?" She shouts, resulting in each and every person returning to (or at least pretending to) do what they had been doing.
The second she turned back to you she saw that look on your face that she knew all to well. She walked over and placed a hand on your back as she lead you away and back to your cabin where it could just be you two since everyone was out at the bonfire or wandering camp.
The second that door shut your arms were wrapped around her, head in the crook of her neck, yet you stayed silent. "You're okay. I got you," she assures as her arms wrap around your waist. She may not have been the best at comforting people but she'd picked some stuff up from you not only watching you with the younger campers in your cabin, but from you comforting her. In a way, you'd softened her. Unsurprisingly, you were the only one who got to see that side of her. You sigh, and she combs her fingers through your hair the way you always did for her.
"Thank you," you whisper softly. "It's my job," she says playfully "as your awesome, amazing, totally hot girlfriend that could, and does, treat you about a million times better than that asshole ever could." You move your head from her shoulder and look up at her with a soft smile as her hands rest on your waist and yours on her shoulders.
"You're an idiot." "think I remember you calling me your idiot, mama." she teases as she lifts your hand and presses a delicate kiss to the back of it.
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sugrhigh · 3 months
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FEELINGS MUTUAL - ( c.s. )
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summary- you and chris, a d1 lacrosse player, have been good friends since freshman year. he accidentally hurts your feelings one night while youre hanging out, and things escalate as he’s apologizing.
warnings - it’s smut (use of ma included oop) so PLEASE read at ur own risk, if u don’t like it keep scrolling cuz idgaf 🤭
bff!chris x fem!reader
a/n: this is my first one shot on here AHH! i’ll probably be writing more so if you have requests or ideas, pls send them my way xoxo
“i still don’t understand how you predicted most of that within the first thirty minutes.” chris shakes his head, arms crossed as he leans back against the headboard casually.
“i told you, i’ve got it down to a science. all scary movies are practically the same.” you shrug, clutching a pillow to your chest as you lay in his bed.
it’s late now, or early. you’ve been watching movies together all night, just like you usually do during slow weekdays where neither of you have to be up for class, or in his case, practice.
“i wish you didn’t insist on watching them all of the time.” he says.
“aw, is little christina scared?” you tease him with a small grin.
“i hate when you call me that. and nothing about me is little.” chris kicks you with his foot gently, and you nearly roll off of the bed trying to avoid the contact.
“gross.”
“whatever, you’re the one thinking about my dick.”
“i absolutely am not.” you argue, though you feel your cheeks flush.
“keep lying.”
you lift an arm out to smack him in the bicep, and he just laughs. “stop flirting, you slut.”
“if i was flirting, you’d know.” chris smirks, running a hand through his long hair.
“you think you could rizz up the babadook?” you ask, propping yourself up on your elbow to look at him properly.
“oh for sure.”
he doesn’t hesitate before saying it. he even nods his head a little bit in certainty.
“someone’s confident.” you laugh.
“c’mon, i could rizz anybody up.”
“you haven’t managed to do it to me, and we’ve been friends for two years.”
“that’s because i’m not trying to.”
for some reason, this stings a little. chris is a bit notorious for getting around, though it’s not really his fault. as a d1 lacrosse player who also happens to be very attractive, girls come falling at his feet.
you’re just not one of them, and he clearly doesn’t mind. you’re not sure why you even care.
it just makes you feel weird, that you’re the only girl he’s not attracted to for whatever reason. like you’re defective or something.
“right. i forgot you’ll hit on every other girl in the world, just not me.” your voice comes out more sour than intended.
chris looks a bit surprised, eyebrows raising slightly at your tone. “because you’re…you know…you.”
“wow, you really know how to make a girl feel good, huh?” you roll your eyes before turning to lay facing the other direction.
a hand snakes its way to your waist, a familiar sensation that still makes butterflies erupt in your stomach regardless.
“you know i didn’t mean it like that.”
you bury your head further into the pillow, trying to ignore the way his thumb is tracing circles against your hip. “whatever, chris. i get it.”
“you clearly don’t, because you’re all pissy now.” he sighs, breath tickling your skin.
“no i’m not.”
“yes you are.”
“i just want to sleep.” you lie.
chris fully wraps his forearm around your stomach now, tugging you so that your back is flush against his chest. he buries his chin in the crook of your neck, and you can’t help but smile slightly to yourself.
“all i meant is that you’re not those girls. you’re too special.” he says quietly into your ear.
you bite down on your lip to try and keep the grin from growing.
“now you’re just humoring me.”
he shakes his head slightly, stubble scratching at your shoulder in a pleasant way. “i’m not and you know it.”
you’re actually thankful you’re in a tank top, because having his warm skin on yours is nice. you’ve never felt it before, and it kind of makes you nervous.
“do i?” you question.
“you should. you’re the only girl who can get me to watch horror movies with her. the only one who sleeps over, or gets to steal my hoodies—”
“oh please, i know you gave that bitch maddy your sweatshirt. she wouldn’t shut up about it for weeks.” you cut him off.
“okay, she stole that from me and now she won’t give it back, so that’s different.” chris shuts you down quickly.
“if you insist.”
you shift slightly in his arms, and you hear him suck in a breath as you get comfortable.
“don’t do that.” his voice is strained.
“what?” you ask, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“don’t move like that.”
“i’m not allowed to move now?”
“not when your ass is on me.” his grumbles, and you finally get it.
“oh.”
your response is abnormally high pitched, and you’re not sure what else to say. you’re too terrified to turn even in the slightest.
“who’s scared now, huh?”
you swear he must have gotten closer, because you can almost feel his lips hovering by your earlobe as he speaks. the smile is prominent in his tone.
he’s teasing you, and it spurs a fire in the pit of your stomach that you’ve never felt with him before. you maneuver your body, and this time you purposely back your ass up against his lap.
you hear him let out a small groan that vibrates against your body, and it nearly makes you shiver.
“not me.” you give him attitude, though you’re practically breathless.
“have you really thought this through?” chris asks, pressing up against you so you can actually feel how hard he is.
you’re already pulsing, and his fingers dance back and forth across your stomach lightly. even with your shirt as a barrier, it’s too nice.
you nod in response, and his hand slides up your arm and over your shoulder, fingernails barely raking against your skin as he goes. chris grips your throat, and you push against him for some sort of friction, for anything.
“tell me you want it.” he demands, squeezing just a bit harder.
“you want it.” you manage to taunt, grabbing his arm and guiding it down your chest to the bottom of your shirt.
his hand slides underneath the tight fabric, back up your stomach, traveling to massage your left tit slowly. his thumb ghosts over your nipple, and you arch your back into him involuntarily.
“fuck.” you gasp quietly.
“no bra, huh? just for me?”
chris twitches against your ass, attaching his lips to your neck hungrily. his tongue slides against the sensitive skin, teeth digging into the flesh where your throat meets your collar.
his hand switches places, and he drags the pads of his fingers across your other nipple in a tantalizing pattern. the sensation of his touch and his mouth at the same time is bliss, and you let out a moan of pleasure.
“always wondered what you sounded like, you fuckin angel.” he praises, grinding his hips against you.
just feeling his length, pressing right against your core through the fabric of your yoga pants, makes you incredibly wet. he’d be shocked to find you’re not wearing underwear either.
you guide his hand back out from underneath your shirt so you can flip over again, sitting up slightly as you move to straddle him. he’s already bucking up into you, whining from the feeling of being underneath your hips.
“don’t tease me. i’ve waited too long for this.” chris pulls your arm down so he can give you an actual kiss.
his lips are soft, molding against yours desperately as his hands grip your ass. you rock against him as his tongue slides against yours, and he groans into your mouth.
“god, i love hearing that.” you admit against his lips.
you pull away so you can lift his shirt over his head, trailing your long manicured nails down his chest slowly, right along his happy trail. he throws his head back against the pillows, relishing in the feeling.
you can tell he’s growing frustrated though, and suddenly he grabs you by your waist, throwing you down so your back hits the mattress.
chris helps you out of your top like it’s a race, tossing it to the floor with his other clothes. he positions himself over you, capturing your lips with his hungrily.
you bring your hands up; one tugging at the curly strands of hair on the back of his neck, the other clawing at his back.
he likes this, smiling into you before biting down on your bottom lip harshly. chris pulls away, pressing kisses down your throat, down the valley of your chest, but not without moving his tongue back and forth against each nipple at least a few times.
it makes you writhe, hands tangling in his sheets as he continues.
“jesus, chris.” you’re basically whimpering.
he stops right at the top of your leggings, looking up at you from between your thighs like he’s asking for permission.
you lift your hips as an answer, and he tugs the slick material down over your feet. the air hits you, and you can feel how embarrassingly ready you are.
chris lowers himself to you again, pushing your legs apart with both palms.
“you’re so pretty, ma. so fucking wet for me, too.” he mumbles, kissing and nipping at your hip, down your inner thigh, right next to where you need him most.
ma. he’s never called you that before, and you like it way more than you should.
without warning, he slides his tongue flat against your pussy in one long stripe. his lips come down around your clit, sucking and flicking his tongue against it slowly.
“holy shit—” you gasp, and your fingers tangle in his hair again, tugging at his roots as he buries his face further.
you’d been given head before, but it never actually felt good until now. chris’s fingers grip your thighs as he continues to force them apart, tongue moving up and down against your center at a faster pace now.
you can feel the pressure building, but you know you want more. you want to make him feel good too.
“oh my god baby.” the pet name slips out without even thinking, your head is so fuzzy with pleasure.
“fuck, call me that again.” he pulls away just enough to speak coherently.
“i need you inside me, baby, please.” you beg desperately.
“so ready for me, so eager.” he practically growls, sitting up so he can yank off his sweatpants, tugging his boxers down with them.
his dick is just as big as it felt, definitely the biggest you’ve seen in person, which is a little scary. he puts a hand to your mouth, turning your head to the side slightly.
“spit.”
fuck, this is hot.
you happily do as your told, and he pulls his hand back to spread it around his dick. his other arm goes to prop your one leg up as he aligns himself at your entrance.
chris pushes in slowly, and you both let out a long moan at the same time. you can feel him stretching you, and it takes a minute for you to adjust to his full length.
“fuck…” he says in that breathy voice you love so much.
he moves out, then back in, steadily picking up his pace as you get more comfortable. you have to give it to him, the kid knows how to use his hips.
“mmm…you feel so good around me,” chris grumbles, lifting your leg a little higher.
he hits a new spot, and it sends delicious waves of pleasure through your body.
“yes, right there!” your eyes screw shut, and his free hand goes to reach for your tits.
“fuck ma, i can feel you squeezing. taking it just like a good girl.”
such a pretty mouth saying such dirty things, things you didn’t think you’d ever in a million years hear from your friend. and yet, it feels exactly like it should.
he’s practically pounding into you now, and the little noises he makes drive you crazy. his free hand shifts so his thumb rubs against your clit, and you feel your core seize up.
“chris!” you cry out, and that damn smirk crosses his face again.
“tell em, angel. tell them exactly who you want.”
his fingers feel so good combined with his strokes, and this time the building pressure in your stomach is too much. you know you don’t have a lot longer left as your body begins to shudder.
“fuck, chris, i’m so close—”
“just a little longer, hang on for me.” he says, movements growing sloppier as he reaches his own peak.
his nails dig into the skin of your thigh, a bit of pain that is not unwelcomed. chris circles his other fingers around you faster, and you let out an even louder gasp.
“i’m—”
“fuck, me too. come on baby, come all over me.” he cuts you off, and you feel him twitch inside of you as he finishes with a groan.
“shit!” you ride out your own high, releasing onto his dick as he slows to a stop. you’re both completely breathless and sweaty as he pulls out, and you immediately feel at loss.
he leans down to give you a little peck before collapsing beside you.
“i’ve seriously dreamed about that so many times.” chris says, arm splayed across his chest as he stares into your eyes.
you cover your face with your hands in embarrassment. “stop it.”
he’s quiet for a moment, and you peek through your fingers to look at him.
“you know this means more to me, right? you mean more to me.” he speaks softly, like he’s scared of how you��ll react.
you finally reveal yourself again, smiling more widely than you’d care to admit.
“good, cuz the feelings mutual.”
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 4 months
Note
Hope you dont mind an angsty request but
Can i request Kieran, Carmine, and Drayton see (or heard for Drayton’s part) the reader in a comatose state after taking the blow that was meant for Kieran when Terapagos went out of control. Like they, in the moment, sacrifice themself for Kieran and was somehow still standing after taking the hit but after they caught Terapagos, they immediatley fainted and havent woken up ever since.
(Btw i enjoy your posts!)
Ough this hurts, it's an absolutely devastating concept <//3
(and thank you!!!)
.....
Kieran
Instead of summoning your 'raidon, you shoved him aside and took the full brunt of the tera energy-infused blast, not caring what happened to you.
As long as he was safe.
He couldn't understand why you'd do this for him.
Even after going on that angry tirade about you, even after he caught Terapagos with a master ball solely to "get even" with you....you chose to save his life when you could've just saved yourself, Carmine, and Briar.
How could you be so kind and selfless to someone like him? Who's done nothing but talk about how much he envied you?
And somehow you're still standing, convincing him to fight by your side so you could both quell the legendary's fury.
Seeing the light return to his eyes made you smile as your pokemons' combined strength defeated it, with Kieran deciding to let you properly catch it.
What nobody expected, though, was for you to pass out shortly after you picked up the pokeball you used..
Your 'raidon got everybody safely out of Area Zero, but you still haven't woken up and were rushed to the hospital.
The attack left you in a comatose-like state, according to doctors, and there's no telling when you'll awaken...if ever.
There was overwhelming tera energy coming from your body, which caused any Pokémon within the room to start terastalizing themselves. So you had to be isolated, having only human visitors.
Of course, Kieran was the most devastated.
Now he might never get the chance to apologize to you..and it's all because he got obsessed with defeating you and was willing to use a dangerous legendary to do just that.
This was all his fault.
If you were to die thinking he still hated you...he'd never forgive himself.
He definitely doesn't wanna think about you reincarnating into a Phantump and haunting him for the rest of his life.
He visits as often as he can, holding your hand while he talks to you.
While he's not sure if you could even hear what he was saying, but somehow he believes you're listening.
"I went too far, [y/n]..I only ever wanted to be like you. But instead I....I-I did this to you. I did this to someone who still believed in me. Someone who still saw me as....a-as a friend..." His voice breaks, never having felt such remorse in his entire life. "I'm so, so sorry...please wake up soon."
Although he had let go of his bitterness towards you entirely, his bad sleeping/eating habits are still there, and there's not much that anybody can do to help him cope.
With every visit, he grows more desperate for a positive update on your condition, chatting with you and always ending with a plea for you to wake up.
Hell, he's even willing to become friends with Drayton again if that's what it took to see your eyes open.
When you do finally awaken after the tera energy readings have dropped to practically zero, you see Kieran asleep in the chair beside you, his hair messy and reminiscent of what it looked like a year ago.
You muster up enough strength to lightly ruffle it, and that's what makes him jerk awake, shocked.
At first he thinks he's still dreaming when he sees you're now conscious...but when the doctors confirm you're gonna make a full recovery, he just collapses into your waiting arms and sobs into your shoulder, having held back all of his tears until now.
You simply comfort him, reassuring that you didn't blame him at all.
It was you who chose to sacrifice yourself.
And you'd do it all over again.
Carmine
Seeing you take that devastating hit for her brother shocked her to her very core...and even moreso when you were still standing despite the powerful blast.
But when you pass out shortly after capturing Terapagos, she's quick to snap Briar for pushing Kieran to terastalize it, blaming her for the reason this all happened.
She doesn't care if she gets in trouble for backtalking a teacher.
Her obsession with this "hidden treasure" ended up hurting a student, someone she was supposed to protect...and now you may never wake up.
At the hospital, Carmine sometimes visits you alongside her brother, and other times the two go in separately, leaving their pokemon outside.
When it's just her, she mostly talks about how Kieran has been doing, mentioning how you literally brought the light back into his eyes and how he wasn't some battle-crazed stranger anymore.
You saved him in more ways than one, and she cries a little just thinking about that, wishing you'd wake up and see that he was willing to let go of the past.
Whether it takes days or weeks, she never stops visiting you.
What you did for her brother was noble...and something she wishes she could've been brave enough to do.
The day you finally wake up and start to remember everything, Carmine quickly tries to cover up the fact she was crying.
But when you start talking, she's quick to breakdown as she (lightly) berated you for doing something so reckless, making you swear to NEVER do that again.
Soon Kieran rushes in the moment he hears you're awake..and he starts crying, too.
You just comfort the two siblings in your groggy half-asleep state, wondering how you'll tell them that this wasn't your first near-death experience...
Drayton
All he hears is that you were involved in an accident down in Area Zero...and it feels like a punch to the gut when he learns it put you into a coma.
Now he wishes he went with you. Maybe he could've kept an eye on Kieran just in case he did anything stupid for the sake of defeating you in-battle.
But he didn't, and that's exactly what ends up happening.
Despite not knowing all the details, he 100% believes Kieran is at fault for your condition.
Even though Drayton only knew you for a short time, he cared enough to frequently visit your room, trying to stay his chill and relaxed self while he talks to you about whatever came to mind (in case you were listening, he didn't want you to worry over him).
But it gets harder with every passing day and no clear confirmation on when (and if) you'll wake up.
Carmine was afraid he was going to strangle Kieran if he saw him...
Yet whenever they so-happen to visit you at the exact same time, words are seldom exchanged between the two.
Although Drayton will often glare at him, thinking to himself "only now he's sorry?"
Even so, he doesn't verbalize it.
There's no bitter reminders of what Kieran did. No petty insults to get the other ex-champion riled up.
They just sit in silence, although seeing the tears in the younger boy's eyes and the way he holds your hand made Drayton's gaze less icy the more he saw it.
Whenever you wake up, he's one of the first to know and brought you a Dragonite plushie as a gift, relieved to see you talking, his eyes slightly stinging and a huge smile on his face.
Once you recover more, he'll ask you what you remembered of Area Zero....and becomes shocked after you explained everything that happened down there.
All this time, he thought Kieran used Terapagos to attack you directly, but to learn it actually got out of control and turned its back on him??? And you chose to push him out of the way???
Drayton isn't sure if you're brave or dumb, but he's glad you're okay now.
When Kieran comes in, he leaves you both be to update the Elite Four, although he'll be back to help you on the long road to recovery.
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monimccoythings · 2 months
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Random headcanons of Alastor and his child!reader
This will mix headcanons from both the living and the afterliving times.
Tw: Controlling behavior, implied cannibalism, references to murder.
This is not proof read so I apologize for any grammar and vocabulary mistakes.
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Your home is always filled with music. Be it the radio, a record player or him singing. There's always someone playing a tune. Even now at the hotel you can always find him in one of the common rooms humming a song or with his cathedral radio on.
Loves dancing with you, you'll be helping him cook and next thing you know he is swirling you around the room, music mixing with your combined laughter.
From a very young age, he will teach you to love the radio. He is immensely proud of his job (the legal one) and wants to share it with you.
Likes to treat your wounds and illness the traditional way, just like he used to when you were alive. You got a scratch? He is cleaning it for you and bandaging it up. You are down with something? He'll wrap you in blankets with a hot water bottle and feed you old family remedies and warm soup. If the wound or illness is way too severe to his liking, he will immediately make it go away with a snap of his fingers, otherwise he just likes to act like your caregiver and mother hen you.
Really loves to pull the 'single hardworking dad' act that makes the mothers and female teachers at your school swoon. He is not really interested in pursuing anything further with them, but boy, does he enjoy the attention.
He likes to check on you while you are sleeping. Sometimes he just stays there, quietly watching you sleep, his ever present smile growing bigger as a sense of pride fills his chest.
Lots of dad jokes, I think he's the only one who could pull it off and have everyone laugh. It goes with his radio host charisma and personality.
He does your hair. This man has singlehandledly researched and become well versed in the art of braiding hair. Braids, pigtails, or just brush it, you call it, you got it.
Alastor loves control and having power over people, he is the kind of dad that will subtly talk you out of doing something he doesn't approve of, just using his inmense charms and smooth talking skills to convince you into thinking this was your decision after doing some critical thinking. "Cher, I don't think you should do X, how about you do Y instead?" "I'm sure your friend is too busy to hang out today, why don't we go to the ice cream shop?" He won't ever put you down or make you feel bad about anything, but if you are deviating for the path that he has already set for you (the safe path) he will immediately persuade you to go back to the right way, his way. In Hell that aspect of him has become a million times worse, since he has already lost you once and has become someone with many dangerous enemies who wouldn't hesitate to use you to get back at him. His overprotectiveness and controlling behavior skyrocket when he becomes a demon, which eventually will come back to bite him in the ass.
Doesn't like having anyone question about your biological parents. He is your parent. You don't need anybody else.
Alastor is not fond of physical affection, unless he is the one initiating it. But, since he has had you since you were a baby, he has mostly grown used to your touch. He has become proficient enough in detecting your moods that he knows exactly when you are going to need a hug, a kiss or some other kind of physical comfort, so he can get ahead and start the contact first. He admits that one of his favorite ways nowadays to show affection to you is ruffling your fluffy hair, lightly tickling your ears, his eyes fill with joy when your ears get all twitchy.
Your room back at the hotel is a carbon copy of the one you had back when you were alive, but bigger, and with a private old timey bathroom. Alastor likes to come in whenever he pleases, he is the unliving embodiment of "I'm respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your parent by coming in anyway". He even said so once. Word by word.
You can't stand Mimzy. Sorry, it's a fact, she always gets your name wrong and only comes by if she needs something from your dad. She seems to not be very fond of you either, can't understand why in Hell Alastor would waste his time so willingly just to take care of a snooty brat that ain't even his. But your father seems to like her enough, so you swallow up your critics.
When he was alive, and came back from a 'hunt', he always brought a little memorabilia for you, maybe some old watch, a fancy toy or trinket the victim had on them at that moment. Whatever little thing that wasn't too incriminating and pretty enough to be worthy of you. Now that you know the truth, you can't stop wondering with dread if every little thing he gifts you belonged once to a poor tormented soul that crossed in his path.
Might had fed you human remians in his stews. He utterly denies it, claiming that he would never do that to your delicate stomach. But the suspicious way his eyes quickly dart around the room, makes you think otherwise. It was the Great Depression after all, food was scarce. You'd rather not dwell too much on it or you will never eat anything ever again.
He is a monster, and it pained you to have been so blind all these years, but even after discovering his true nature, the only thing you could say about his parenting before that terrible night of the discovery, was that he was an excellent dad, a tad bit overbearing and overprotective, but a great parent nonetheless.
336 notes · View notes
rmsrkive · 9 months
Text
unconditionally (02) — jung hoseok
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summary: for the past three, almost four years, it has only been you and your twins after having been abandoned by your ex-boyfriend. you expected it to remain that way for the rest of your lives until one day you accidentally run into one of his bandmates at the park
pairings: ex-boyfriend/baby daddy!hoseok x f. reader (exes to lovers)
warnings: none
rating: pg-13
word count: 5745
author's note: here is chapter 2! my apologies for taking so long to update 😔 i start school very soon so updates will most likely take even longer but i will try my best to post as soon as i can!
taglist [closed]: @darkphoenix5037 @mushroom-main @partyparty-yah @persnyako @violetpenguinkris @loveforred @thedarkeside @coffeewanderer @inlovewithallmusic @deejay08 @cryinginmyroomsposts @ilikekpop-c @aloverga @as-hs-blog @bangtanlovesk @mintchocoss @hopeonysus @smoltika @jjkluver7 @earth2joon @oricephany @ayoo-bangtan @honsoolgloss @shadowyjellyfishfest @nochuel @addictedtohobi @renoirgoh @btsfluffsworld @scuzmunkie @bellamuerte1987 @strawbi-reads @secfir @missmischief1408 @savage-aespa @bts-dream @mixedfandxms
please note that the taglist is CLOSED. i made it clear multiple times that i will no longer be adding people to the taglist after uploading the first chapter yet many people have still asked to be added. that being said, if you have asked to be added to the taglist after chapter 1 was published and prior to chapter 2, you have been added. i will not add anybody else from here on out so please do not ask! if i added you but your user is not able to be tagged, please update your visibility settings so other blogs can find you. any blogs that are unable to be tagged will be removed from the taglist moving forward. thank you for understanding.
masterlist
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“When are you gonna visit HYBE, Y/N?” Seungcheol asked.
“Have you forgotten that she’s a working woman with two kids?” Eunae questioned, glancing up at him as she was lying on his chest.
You were tempted to hang up on them with the amount of PDA they were displaying since Eunae called you, unamused by how often Seungcheol would cut his girlfriend off mid-sentence to kiss her. It was sweet how loving the couple could be but witnessing it face-to-face (well, face-to-screen) was less than appealing. “Now why would I visit when I see you guys at least twice a week?”
Seungcheol rolled his eyes. “It’s not me who wants to see you but the other members. Seungkwan has been begging me to ask you to visit because he misses the twins.”
Out of all of the members, Seungkwan was the twins’ number one fan. Ever since he met them, he immediately fell in love with them and loved it when you visited HYBE. More often than not, you visited during work hours because of him.
“Seungkwan is more than welcome to come over to my new place whenever he wants. Besides, I’m much closer now to the HYBE building now so it’s easier for him to come over.” You replied.
“You know that he won’t ever ask to go over. He’s too scared to ask and doesn’t want to invite himself.”
“Then I’ll invite him. I would love to have extra hands helping me with the twins.”
You poured out crackers into bowls before abandoning your phone to give the snacks to the twins. They were sitting on the living room floor, fixated on the most recent episode of Robocar Poli to even glance at you. You settled on the couch with a cup of coffee, turning your attention back to Seungcheol and Eunae.
“Let me see my babies,” Eunae said, using Seungcheol’s chest to sit herself up. “I haven’t seen them in so long.”
“You saw them yesterday.” You pointed out, to which she simply rolled her eyes.
You called our Jaeyoung’s name, urging him to look at the screen to look at Eunae. His face brightened when he realized who was calling him, grabbing your phone eagerly.
“Imo!” He shrieked.
“Jaeyoungie!” Eunae cooed. “Imo misses you so much!”
Jaeyoung simply giggled, putting his face towards the screen as close as he could before you pulled your phone away from him. Seungcheol tried grabbing his attention but failed once Jaeyoung caught sight of Robocar Poli again. He tossed your phone to the side, sliding back down onto the ground.
“Wow, okay.” Seungcheol scoffed.
“You can talk to Jaehee if that makes you feel better.” You put your phone in front of Jaehee’s face. “Seungcheol samchon and Eunae imo want to see you, petal.”
Jaehee turned her head towards the phone unamused that her TV time was interrupted but immediately smiled upon seeing who was on the phone. She giggled when Seungcheol said her name and smiled, burying her face in the crook of your neck. You recently discovered that Jaehee had the biggest crush on Seungcheol, which you found absolutely hilarious and endearing. At first, she didn't see him more than an uncle but over the past few months, she became more shy around him. After a short interrogation, Jaehee confessed that she liked Seungcheol samchon and was quite determined to marry him one day.
"Hi, pretty girl. I miss you." Seungcheol grinned.
Jaehee risked taking a peek at him before whipping back around and squealing. You patted her back, laughing when she tried hiding between your legs.
“Why are you so shy when you see Seungcheol samchon? You guys are best friends.” You teased, tickling Jaehee’s stomach.
She laughed before pushing your hand away, rolling off of the couch and onto the ground next to Jaeyoung. You gasped, trying to catch her before she slammed on the floor but she immediately sat upright, seemingly unhurt. You stared at her blankly, letting out a sigh.
“Am I able to visit tomorrow?”
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Getting into the HYBE building was a hassle. You had been given a special pass by Seungcheol after he and Seungkwan begged to allow you to visit anytime. It was a bit difficult trying to convince the management team and Bang PD to give you a pass, considering that you were neither an employee, a family member, nor a significant other of any of the idols. You didn't know what allowed somebody to qualify for a pass without any difficulties but a single mom with twins certainly didn't meet the qualifications. Even with the pass, you had to show your ID before heading to the working floors and proceed to use the face scan before every door. Though it was tedious work, it was worth being able to see the Seventeen members while they were working.
"Jaehee! Jaeyoung!"
You quickly moved out of the way after placing Jaehee on the ground, allowing twelve grown men to bombard the twins the second you walked through the doors. Seungkwan and Mingyu were the first to reach the twins (as usual) and immediately swung them into their arms. The remaining members quickly surrounded the four of them, fighting for Jaehee and Jaeyoung's attention.
"Well hello to you guys too." You huffed, placing your bag on the ground.
"Hi, Y/N. Thanks for coming to visit." Joshua smiled.
Joshua was the only member who ever said hi to you when you visited the boys. While everybody else threw themselves the twins, he never failed to make an effort to catch up with you and made sure to greet you before he said hi to the twins. You smiled at him, walking into his open arms and squeezing him tightly.
“Hi, Josh.” You beamed.
“You haven’t visited us in so long, what happened?” He asked.
“I’m a busy woman and you’re part of a busy group,” You answered.
Raising two children on your own while simultaneously trying to run a café was not an easy feat and the boys certainly didn’t fare any better with their continuous preparations for new songs, albums, and comebacks. Their next comeback was just around the corner so it would more likely than not would be the last time that you would be able to see them for a while. You were grateful that their management team managed to squeeze in a few hours for you and the twins to visit in the midst of such a busy season.
“We’re never too busy for you, Y/N.” Joshua grinned.
“You’re flattering me.”
The two of you joined the rest of the boys on the floor, where they were all in a circle while the twins were in the middle. Since they had first met you and the twins, every visitation was the same: the twins would be taken into the middle of a big circle while the members fought to grab their attention and play with them. Once the twins got bored of sitting in the middle of the circle, the boys (yes, all thirteen of them), took them on a tour around the HYBE building as if it was their visitation. They never failed to do the same thing every. Single. Time. It was amazing how the members had a consistent routine and never got bored of it.
You sat next to Joshua and caught up with one another while watching the boys quite literally fight to keep Jaehee and Jaeyoung's attention on them for more than five seconds. This was another consistent part of your routine; quietly speaking with Joshua while watching the others make a fool of themselves. You didn't get to see him often and always enjoyed the conversations you shared so you always jumped at the opportunity to speak with him.
From the corner of your eye, you could see Seungcheol and Soonyoung wiggling their eyebrows at the two of you, causing you to roll your eyes. This was the third thing that remained consistent whenever you saw the Seventeen members: the Hong Y/N Agenda.
"Isn't that such a good name?" Soonyoung asked giddily. "I thought of it myself." He puffed his chest out, proud of himself for not thinking of such a (not so) creative name.
"Yeah, I can tell." You scoffed. "Now why, pray tell, have you thought of the Hong Y/N Agenda? What is that even supposed to mean?"
Seungcheol suddenly clapped his hands together, startling you away from him. He had the same shit-eating grin that Soonyoung was adorning and quite frankly, it was a bit unsettling. "This is operation 'get Y/N and Joshua together' and it begins now."
"What?"
Seungcheol and Soonyoung knew you were going to react like this. You always insisted that you weren't interested in dating and had no intention of doing so because the twins were your utmost priority (which they respected and understood) but they desperately wanted you and Joshua to date. After the messy and disastrous breakup with Hoseok, they believed that you deserved a gentleman who would treat you far better than your wretched ex-boyfriend did and who would also love your kids unconditionally despite the circumstances. Who better than Hong Jisoo?
It was far-fetched, that they both knew and perhaps a bit unreasonable but they wanted to see you with a partner who would treat you right. And though you didn't admit it, they knew that you wanted to put yourself out there and find a new man but they stayed out of it out of respect for your choice. Now that you had been friends with them for long enough, they no longer cared and wanted to push you to give Joshua a chance.
"We are going to set you up with Joshua!" Soonyoung cheered as he threw his hands in the air.
"Who's we?" You demanded.
"The two of us, of course." Seungcheol immediately replied. "And whoever else wants to join."
You narrowed your eyes at them suspiciously. "And why exactly do you want us together?"
"Why not?" Soonyoung shrugged.
Their responses seemed well calculated, almost as if they had rehearsed beforehand what they were going to say. It was clear they discussed whatever agenda they had going on and decided it was the right time to let you in on what was happening. Why they didn't decide to tell Joshua was beyond you considering that they were closer to him than they were with you but whether he was told first, it didn't change that neither of you was interested in the other.
"I'm not looking to be in a relationship nor am I interested right now." You snorted.
"Why not? You deserve an amazing man and that amazing man is Joshua." Soonyoung dramatically winked. "He's the perfect package; he’s the same age as you, tall, handsome, caring, gentle, great singer, great in bed—"
"Ew, how do you know he's great in bed?" You interrupted, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.
The members were obviously close with each other having been together since 2015 but you were unaware that they were that close. You cringed at the mere idea of how they found out, wondering what had been going on in the dorms for the past seven years.
"I don't, but you can find out for us." He winked again.
You scrunched your face in disgust. "Listen, I appreciate that you guys care about me and Joshua but it's not happening. Neither of us is interested and are both far too busy to date each other."
Seungcheol pouted, grabbing a hold of your arm and shaking it. "Aw, why not? At least give him a shot." He whined.
"Oh, stop it." You yanked your arm out of his grasp. "You're too grown to be sulking like this."
Soonyoung burst into laughter, falling over onto the couch while Seungcheol looked deeply hurt and offended. You simply stared at them with your arms crossed over your chest and remained silent.
"Me and Joshua are not gonna date. Leave us alone."
And leave you alone they didn't.
It had been months since they told you about their Hong Y/N Agenda and they still weren't giving. They used every chance they got to subtly push the two of you closer but utterly failed every time. They even got Mingyu, Seokmin, and Seungkwan in on it, and the trio was equally as enthusiastic about getting you to date Joshua. It was funny at first but truthfully, you were now starting to become annoyed.
"Jaehee likes me the best." Seungcheol's boastful remark and the exclamations of disagreement snapped you out of your thoughts. You looked over at the boys to see what they were arguing, watching how Soonyoung and Mingyu were shouting at their leader. "Watch."
Seungcheol turned his body toward Jaehee, clapping his hands together to catch her attention, and opened his arms. "Jaehee-yah, do you want to sit with samchon?"
Jaehee giddily stood up from Jun's lap and trotted over to him, throwing herself into his lap. She squealed when Seungcheol wrapped her up in a tight hug and peppered her face in kisses, giggling whenever his lips touched her. She turned around to face him so she could hug him back. Seungcheol stared at the others smugly while they all scowled, silently cursing at him. Jaeyoung was quietly sitting in Seungkwan's lap, having settled down long ago. He had chosen Seungkwan as his favorite from the start and never changed his mind about who he liked best. Jaehee was always changing her mind over the months but her twin remained loyal.
"What does he have that we don't?" Mingyu scoffed. "Dimples?"
"Good looks, I guess."
Your remark caused yet another uproar. You sat in silence as the members shouted over each other to yell at you, much more hurt over the statement than they had to be. You shared a look with Joshua, who stared at you apologetically and told you to ignore them.
"The next person to speak is an idiot." You sang.
It never failed to amaze you how quickly thirteen men could be silenced with one simple phrase. They immediately shut their mouths before settling a glare on you in retaliation. You let out an unattractive snort and turned to the twins.
"Jaehee, Jaeyoung, it's time to go home. Seventeen samchon are being mean to eomma."
"We're sorry, we're sorry, don't take them away from us," Seungkwan whined, hugging Jaeyoung closer toward his chest. "You can kick all of them out, just leave me and Coups hyung out of it. We did nothing."
Seungcheol furiously nodded in agreement, scooting away from you out of fear that you would take Jaehee away from him. You rolled your eyes, waving both of them away. "Take the twins around the building, I can tell you're getting antsy."
You waved a final goodbye as the twins and members flooded out of the room, sighing happily as the door slammed shut behind them. You sprawled out across the floor like a starfish, delighted for the moment of peace and silence. Joshua glanced down at you amusedly before he lifted your head so you could lay on his lap. You smiled up at him, poking his nose as a gesture of gratitude.
"You're the best, Joshuji."
"Okay." Joshua shoved you off of his lap.
Your head smacked against the ground causing you to wince. You sat up and kicked Joshua in the stomach, watching in satisfaction as he doubled over in pain. He mustered a glare at you with a murderous glint in his eyes and lunged at you when you broke out into obnoxious laughter.
"Hey, this isn't fair!" You exclaimed, wiggling around to escape from his strong grasp. "You're the one who pushed me off of your lap! I slammed my head against the floor because of you. What if I'm concussed?"
Joshua had you pinned on the ground with your wrists above your head as he held them with his right hand and settled down on top of your legs. "If you're concussed then that's unfortunate, I guess."
Before you could retort back at him, the door flew open and slammed against the wall. One by one, the members all filed back into the room with alarmed looks on their faces. They came to an abrupt stop when they caught sight of you and Joshua, wondering what they walked on and what the two of you could have possibly been doing in the two minutes they were gone.
"What the fuck?" Mingyu squawked.
Joshua quickly got off of you, scrambling a few feet away to keep some distance. You sat up, pointing your finger at the younger man accusingly. "Hey, don't swear in front of my kids like that."
"Don't turn this on me! You had Joshua on top of you like some kind of harlot." He hissed.
"Excuse me?" Joshua's initial panic wore off and he glared at the younger man, taking the insult to heart. "What did you just call me?" Mingyu backed away upon seeing him stand up on his feet, suddenly fearing him.
Seungkwan smacked Mingyu's arm harshly. "That's not what's important right now! There are more pressing matters at hand, Kim Mingyu."
"What happened?" You questioned, standing up as well. "You guys were barely out there for five minutes. It does not take you guys only five minutes to go around the entire building no matter how quickly you guys tour it."
The room fell silent upon your question as the rest of the members glanced at each other. You sensed the tension in the air and shared a look with Joshua, who appeared equally as confused and concerned with the change in atmosphere.
"Is something wrong?"
Everybody looked at Seungcheol, instinctively turning toward their leader, to tell the truth. He stared back at them, silently urging someone else to take the reins but they simply looked away. Not only was he the leader, but he was also the member who was closest to you because of Eunae.
"We just ran into Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung outside of the bathroom..."
"You what?" You shouted, getting up on your feet as Joshua followed suit. "Please tell me you're lying."
"Sorry, Y/N, but I'm afraid he's not. They were coming out of the bathrooms while we were on the way to the elevators and they caught sight of the twins. We weren't even out there for thirty seconds before running into them." Jihoon explained.
Your knees locked together and you sunk back down to the ground, in disbelief at what you were hearing. You felt sick to your stomach as a wave of nausea washed over you, making you whimper quietly. Joshua immediately knelt down beside you, rubbing your back gently. Wonwoo joined the two of you, squeezing your shoulder gently, and offered a kind smile.
"They didn't ask about the twins, noona. They just said hello and asked if we were preparing for our comeback. It was small talk that lasted less than a minute." He reassured.
“But they still saw the twins.” You mumbled, tears stinging your eyes. “It’s one thing for Jungkook to see them again but Taehyung and Jimin? There’s no way that the twins are going to be kept from Hoseok.”
You thought it was pathetic crying over their run-in with the Bangtan members, feeling like a child for immediately resorting to tears but you were afraid and overwhelmed. The past three years had been spent cautiously around Seoul, trying to steer clear from any places where Hoseok or his bandmates may be. You managed to avoid them for the entirety of the twins’ birth but all of that came crashing down in vain within days. The effort you put in suddenly didn’t matter.
“We can go talk to them.” Minghao offered. “Mingyu, Seokmin, and I are friends with Jungkook so we can ask him to keep it between them until you’re ready to talk to Hoseok hyung.”
You rapidly shook your head. “No, no, I couldn’t ask you guys to do that. I don’t want to burden any of you.”
“It’s not a burden, noona. Nothing is a burden when it comes to you and the twins. We would do anything to protect the three of you and you know that.” Seokmin firmly said.
“Don’t worry, Y/N noona. We’ll talk to him as soon as he’s finished with work. Everything will work out." Mingyu knelt down beside you to pull you into a tight hug, suffocating you with his thick arms. "If not, I can always blackmail Jungkook with something. I have a lot of dirt on him that his fans would love to hear."
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“Bye-bye!” The tiny girl waved enthusiastically before Seungcheol grabbed her arm and yanked it back down.
“Bye!” Taehyung grinned.
“Did the girl look like Hoseok hyung or am I blind?” Jimin asked as soon as the Seventeen members scurried back into their studio and slammed the door shut.
“That’s what I was thinking.” Taehyung frowned. “And the little boy looked like Y/N noona. Isn’t that so funny? Those random kids look like Hoseok hyung and Y/N—” He cut himself off and his eyes widened, realizing that his words were true. The two kids who looked like the ex-couple were their kids.
He and Jimin immediately looked over at Jungkook, who had been oddly silent the entire time. The maknae lifted his head, a nervous expression painted across his face before he forced out a laugh. "Haha, yeah, funny isn't it?"
Jimin narrowed his eyes. "You knew about the kids, didn't you?"
Jungkook shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about." He turned his nose up, refusing to look into their eyes as they stared him down.
"Don't lie, Jeon Jungkook. You can't lie for shit." Taehyung snapped.
"Okay, fine, I did know about the twins because I met Y/N at the park a week ago. You can't tell Hobi hyung though." Jungkook confessed.
“What?”
An offended and hurt expression crossed both Jimin and Taehyung’s faces while Jungkook stared back apologetically. "I'm sorry but I couldn't tell you guys because it isn't my place. I ran into Y/N and her kids at the park a few days ago but it was a brief conversation.”
“It doesn’t matter if it isn’t your place, something as big as that should be told. Does Hobi hyung even know?”
Jungkook rapidly shook his head, noticing for Taehyung to zip his lips. “No, he doesn’t and it should stay that way. It took him months to get over Y/N noona, he doesn’t need her to come back and push him back to square one.”
Jimin raised his eyebrows. “Why not? I think he deserves to know that his ex-girlfriend has been raising his kids on his own.”
“Her kids.” The maknae corrected. "No offense to Hobi hyung but he can't call him his kids if he left before they left the first trimester of the pregnancy."
In any other situation, Jimin and Taehyung would laugh at his remark but it only made them angrier about the situation. They glared at him, causing Jungkook to helplessly shrug his shoulders. As much as he wanted to tell Hoseok, he decided to listen to Seokjin and Yoongi, fearing a fight would ensue. Each step from here on out had to be taken carefully to prevent the situation from spiraling out of control.
"Well, I don't care whether or not he's part of their lives, I'm telling him," Jimin replied.
"No, we can't tell him. Can you stop thinking about what you want for a second and think about what would happen if Hobi hyung found out? It would cause too many problems and the last thing we need is his ex-girlfriend and kids waltzing back into his life out of nowhere. All four of them deserve better than that." Jungkook snapped.
"We won't tell him for now but if it takes too long for you to tell her then we will." Taehyung finalized. "By the end of this week. If we ran into her today and you saw her a few days ago then he's definitely gonna see her at some point. We might as well rip the bandage off."
Jungkook looked at him wearily but nodded his head in agreement. "Fine, but we have to tell the other hyungs. Seokjin and Yoongi hyung don't want them to know."
"You told them already?" Jimin shouted, the tips of his ears turning red out of anger.
"Only because they're older and wiser." Jungkook reasoned. "Maybe you should've been born before 1995?”
"I hope this bites you in the ass, Jeon Jungkook."
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You tried your best to remain in good spirits for the rest of the time you visited the Seventeen members and they tried their best to your mind off of what transpired a few hours ago. They profusely apologized for running into the Bangtan members but you brushed it off, reassuring them that they had nothing to be sorry for. Deciding to meet the boys at HYBE rather than their dorms was a risk in itself, considering that the BTS members moved their work into the building as well. You had been lucky enough not to run into them over the past two years however deep down inside, you were aware that the time would eventually come. It was just unfortunate that it was today out of all days.
"Thanks for visiting us, Y/N. It was nice seeing you again." Joshua held the door open for you, ushering you to exit first before following you after you with a sleeping Jaehee in his arms.
You had Jaeyoung in your arms, his head resting on your shoulder as he slept as soundly as his sister. You swore you could feel your shirt slowly becoming wet as his drool slowly leaked out of his mouth. "It was nice seeing you too, Shua. Thanks for inviting me over, especially when you guys are busy with your comeback."
"We'll always have time for you so please come visit whenever you get the chance."
Joshua, being the gentleman he was, offered to help you take the twins down to your car once they fell asleep. You graciously accepted, much to the dismay of Mingyu and Seungkwan, who attempted to protest but were immediately silenced by a single look from Seungcheol. Whatever he told them as you and Joshua exited the studio seemed to appease him, and they were far too happy waving the two of you goodbye with cheeky grins on their faces.
"Come visit me at the cafe when you get a chance. We just put up our spring seasonal menu so there are a lot of new pastries and drinks to try."
"Only if you give me a free drink." Joshua teased.
You made a face at him. "Not all of us are multi-millionaire idols, Jisoo. Some of us have to make money somehow." You retorted.
"Then I guess I'll have to buy your cafe out so you no longer have a salary."
"Jisoo!"
"Y/N?"
You turned around with furrowed eyebrows, eyes focusing on the person who called your name. Your smile was quickly wiped off of your face and your heart dropped. Joshua moved closer to you, shifting Jaehee to his other arm so he could place his hand around your waist. You tightened your grip around Jaeyoung, afraid as if he was going to be taken away from you. Now you were fully convinced that whatever higher powers existed were trying to spite you for god knows what reason.
"Hi, Namjoon oppa."
A smile forced its way onto your face as you stared at the Bangtan members in front of you. It was silent between the eight of you, as everybody simply looked at each other, unknowing of what to do. It seemed as if the higher powers were giving you mercy because Hoseok was nowhere to be seen. He had been the first one you looked for when you saw the crowd of familiar men standing behind you and staring gobsmacked.
"What are you doing here?" Namjoon asked.
"I came to visit Joshua and the other Seventeen members." You stiffly answered.
Simultaneously, they glanced over at Joshua and their eyes trailed down from his face to the hand that was casually on your waist. They narrowed their eyes before looking back up, smiling at the two of you kindly as if they weren’t trying to shoot lasers through Joshua. You frowned and stepped closer to him, irritated with the one-sided beef they suddenly seemed to have with Joshua.
“Ah, I see.” Namjoon nodded. “How have you been?”
“Good.”
You eyed him suspiciously but he continued smiling at you, acting as if everything that had transpired four years ago never happened. He turned to Joshua, finally acknowledging him with a slight bow of his head.
"Hi, Joshua-ssi. I heard from Jungkook that Seventeen is working on its comeback. How are things going?" Namjoon flashed his dimples at him as if it would appease the tension.
"It's going well, thank you for asking," Joshua replied stiffly.
It fell silent again and the tension grew even more. You were beginning to grow restless as everybody remained quiet, becoming irritated as well. You didn't understand why the Bangtan members felt the need to talk to you after they made it clear years ago that they didn't want anything to have to do with you and would no longer make an effort to maintain your friendship. Why would you want to be remotely anywhere near them after they had dumped you to the side of the road like you were a piece of trash?
"Sorry to interrupt, but can we go Y/N? Jaehee is starting to feel like dead weight and my arms are numb." Joshua whispered
You gasped and hastily took your car keys out of your pocket. "Of course, I'm sorry for making you hold her for so long."
"It's alright. It's nice being able to hold Jaehee without Mingyu trying to fight me for her."
You turned back to the others, your customer service smile plastered on your face. "I'm afraid I have to go, it was nice seeing you guys though. Have a good day!" You cheerily waved to them before stalking off to the parking garage, Joshua struggling to keep up with your fast pace.
"Did she just use her customer service voice on us?" Seokjin furrowed his eyebrows.
"We just saw Hobi's kids but her voice is what you're concerned about?" Yoongi retaliated.
"You were right, Jungkookie. Jaehee looks exactly like Hoseok. She actually reminds me a lot of Jiwoo noona." Namjoon mused.
Jimin stared after you, watching your figure grow smaller and smaller until you disappeared out the door that led to the parking garage with Joshua close behind you. There was a mix of emotions swirling around him, ranging from anger and fury to guilt and regret. After Hoseok, he was the one who was most angry with you simply because of his close friendship with the man. He had seen all of the jokes about Hoseok being the maknae line leader and wherever he was, the youngest three followed and it was true. Naturally, Jimin took his side as did the rest of the members but anybody can say that he loves and cares for his members more deeply than the others. As difficult as it was dropping you, it was easy to choose Hoseok over you because family comes first and at the end of the day, you were simply somebody his older brother. A harsh truth, but a truth nonetheless.
Now that he was aware of the situation, however, Jimin was beginning to second guess himself. For so long, he believed Hoseok and was convinced that you cheated on him but now he wondered if Hoseok had merely been jumping to conclusions with the accusations. No, he did jump to conclusions, making baseless allegations without having any real evidence that you cheated. Jimin didn't feel the need to see proof about whether or not you cheated because Hoseok was furious when you told him about your pregnancy. Hoseok rarely got mad and when he did, he truly was angry. That in itself was enough proof for Jimin yet everything he believed was starting to crumble right in front of his eyes.
Had you been innocent this entire time?
"I can't believe Y/N has been telling the truth the whole time." Taehyung frowned. "I really thought she was baby-trapping him."
"What did Jin hyung and I tell you guys? Hobi was making accusations without any real proof.” Yoongi nagged. "And look who was right all along?'
"Hey, you and Jin never said anything. All you said was that Hobi hyung should've heard Y/N out, not that she didn't cheat." Jimin frowned.
"That's the same thing as saying that Hoseok had no proof. It doesn't take a genius to understand what we were trying to say." Yoongi argued.
"What's your deal with Y/N noona?" Jungkook questioned. "You've been so hell-bent on defending her even after all of us cut contact with her. Are you in love with her or something?"
The older man scoffed. "What? Don't say something so ridiculous, Jeon Jungkook. Shut your mouth."
Namjoon watched silently, sensing that an argument was about to break out between the group if he didn't step in. The breakup was a heated topic when Hoseok first told the members about what happened. The maknaes immediately sided with Hoseok while Seokjin and Yoongi were more rational and urged him to at least talk to you before making any rash decisions. Despite this, they still cut ties with you out of respect for Hoseok and didn't push when he refused to receive closure from the relationship.
"He's just saying that maybe one of us should've talked to Y/N to hear her side of the story about what happened. I think Hoseok could've at least heard her out so she wouldn't have had to raise their kids on her own."
"Our what?"
Seokjin froze and pressed his lips shut. He glanced over at the others, who looked equally as terrified as he felt. They slowly turned around to look at Hoseok, who was standing behind them with an angry expression.
"What the fuck did you just say?"
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Neighbors
Turtle of choice x reader
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Got this idea after reading all kinds of stories about the guys in their S/O’s apartment. I could never help but imagine their neighbors' reactions, having to listen to our big boys. So here you get Mr. and Mrs. Wheeldy’s (oc) reaction to the noises from you and your turtle boyfriend.
Warnings: Implied smut, mentions of moans, spelling.
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Mr. and Mrs. Wheeldy was an elderly couple, who had spent their time together happily married. Living in their small apartment in New York City, they had been living there for several years, having seen people move in and out of the apartments above and below them. They had seen their former neighbors upstairs come home with their newborn son, and seen the same son grow up and move out. They even came and helped with packing, when the parents then decided to move too, hoping they would get a new neighbor as great as them.
Then (Y/N) moved in. She was a bright, happy girl, with bright eyes and a wonderful personality. She would always greet Mr. and Mrs. Wheeldy when leaving or coming home from school or work. A wonderful neighbor, if you asked the elderly couple. They had no complaints about her, and was happy to have her as their upstairs neighbor.
That was until she got a boyfriend…
“She’s doing it again”, growled Mrs. Wheeldy, as she heard the loud stumps from the floor above her, getting slightly more aggressive with her knitting.
Mr. Wheeldy looked up at the ceiling, listening to the sound, connecting them to heavy footsteps.
“It must be that boyfriend of hers”, he mumbled, going back to his newspaper. Normally their neighbor upstairs was quiet, with naturally light footsteps and the music to the minimum, and at night she kept quiet. But then there was her boyfriend. Although they never had seen him, they guessed that he must be a big guy, from the way his feet would bang against the floor. Mrs. Wheeldy also assumed he was slow, as she had often heard (Y/N) and her boyfriend referrer to him as a turtle. And there was no way they couldn’t hear his voice when he was around. His voice was deep but loud, ringing through floors and walls.
In their living room below, Mr. and Mrs. Wheeldy could hear the protest from the couch under the weight of her gigantic boyfriend.
Although they did not know the name of their neighbor's mountain of a boyfriend, they did know one thing. He had brothers. Three brothers. Just as loud, big and heavy as him. They came and went, just like him, always at night without anybody noticing them in the stairwell, stomping around, yelling and screaming at each other, often with the music or the TV way too loud for the elderly couples' taste..
The problem was also how suddenly they came to their neighbors home. In one moment it was peaceful and quiet, and suddenly there would be four loud voices screaming and yelling about pizza. One time it almost made Mr. Wheeldy fell over in shock.
But if there was one thing the Wheeldys hated, especially Mrs. Wheeldy, whenever (Y/N)’s boyfriend was around, it was the sex. There was no mistaking the sounds coming from that bedroom. Loud, hard and impossible not to hear. Moaning and screaming, the bedframe smashing against the wall, and the surprisingly loud sounds of skin slapping together. And the dirty talk. There was always dirty talk. Mrs. Wheeldy almost sent her husband up to yell at them, the day the bed broke, in the bedroom right above theirs. Only made the whole thing worse, that the couple upstairs decided to continue after the bed gave out.
One day the Wheeldys had enough. Their upstairs neighbor had held a party, with not just her boyfriend, but his brothers and some of their other friends. It had been long and loud, keeping Mr. and Mrs. Wheeldy up all night, dancing, yelling, and at one point accidentally breaking the coffee table, causing one of the brothers to apologize over and over again. That was enough for the elderly couple. They got tired of the nightly noise from their neighbor's boyfriend, and decided to do something about it. They would confront him in the stairwell! So with that, Mr. Wheeldy would start to wait in a chair on the staircase, right outside his front door, so he could catch this big mystery man on his way up to his girlfriend. But that night, he never showed. Confused, Mr. Wheeldy packed his stuff, going back into his apartment, only to be met by an angry Mrs. Wheeldy, and the unmistakable sounds of (Y/N) and her boyfriend having loud sex in the kitchen on the floor above their own.
“I thought you spoke to him”, she said, trying to ignore the sounds of the boyfriend, telling (Y/N) to say how good it felt, followed by her screaming; “so good! Oh my god! So good!”, and then her screaming his name over and over again.
“He must be Italian”, Mrs Wheedly mumbled hearing the name. “Mobsta. Can only be a mobsta. That must be why he only comes here at night”.
Mr. Wheeldy stared at the ceiling in confusion. “But- but, he never came up the stairs”.
“Don’t be ridiculous Harold! Then how would he get up there?!”
“I’m- I’m not sure… I never saw him… h- he never came up the stairs-”.
“Then he must have been there all night! Tomorrow you get up early and catch him when he’s trying to leave! I’ve had enough of this! I am going to bed!”
But sadly, that night Mrs. Wheeldy wasn’t supposed to get the peace she wished for so badly. /Y/N) and her big strange boyfriend had moved their intimate activities to the bedroom, and had decided to keep going for hours. Mrs. Wheeldy just couldn’t handle the sound of (Y/N) and her boyfriend’s moaning and screaming, and moved to the couch in the living room to get some peace and sleep. Mr. Wheeldy stayed back, trying his hardest to block the sounds above him out so he could sleep. But to his dismay it just kept on and on and on. Instead he just layed in bed, staring out of the open bedroom window, wondering how he was going to talk to the boyfriend.
Mr. Wheeldy did not know what time it was, when they finally stopped. He heard (Y/N) giggle and her boyfriend chuckle, and then the unmistakable sound of the boyfriend moving across the floor. He heard the boyfriend tell her he loved her…
Wait.
He heard him say he loved her.
Not yell it.
Mr. Wheeldy sat up and stared at the open window. He could hear them talk loud and clear… Their window must be open too.
Mr. Wheeldy stood from the bed and slowly moved to the window to listen in.
“Want me to come to the lair tomorrow?”, he heard (Y/N) ask her boyfriend.
Lair? Mr. Wheeldy took a step closer to the window. Lair sounds like a strange place. A nickname for a place? A nickname to hide the identity of the place! His wife was right! The boyfriend must be a gang member! Of course! He should have known! She is always right!
“Of course I do”, he heard the boyfriend say. “Master Splinter has been asking for a long time when you’ll come back for another dinner”.
Master Splinter? The gang leader? Had to be!
“I’ve been missing Splinter too. It’s been too long since I’ve seen him”, (Y/N) said.
“I’ll tell him you’ll come over tomorrow”. Mr. Wheeldy heard movement against the fire escape. He could make out the shadow of a big foot on the metal above.
“Tell your brothers hey from me”, (Y/N) said followed by the sound of a kiss.
“I will. See you tomorrow. I love you”. And with those words, the boyfriend jumped from the fire escape to the building on the other side of the ally-
HE DID WHAT!?
Mr. Wheeldy had to do a double take at what he saw. A green being, taller than any man he had ever seen, jumping from the fire escape to the other building. On its back it carried a turtle shell looking backpack - it just had to be a backpack - a vibrant colored bandana around its head, and three fingered on each hand.
The green creature turned to blow a kiss towards (Y/N) apartment, before running the other way over the roof of the building.
Mr. Wheeldy blinked, before turning straight towards the bed. That was it. He and his wife would start looking at new apartments tomorrow.
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skiller0dani · 1 year
Text
Touch | Kaz Brekker
M A S T E R L I S T Other Masterlist Shadow and Bone Masterlist
smut | mutual masturbation requests info w.c | 4.4k summary | Kaz is convinced you're angry with him, angry enough to leave him. Despite Jesper's reassurance, Kaz is utterly convinced you're about to leave him. He sends Inej to spy on you, he needs to understand what he did wrong...so he can win you back.
I've only read half of Six of Crows and have seen Season 1 of the show (rewatching it before I watch Season 2). So I apologize if I get things wrong Lore-wise. If I do get something wrong, please feel free to help correct me so I don't get it wrong again. I don't know much about Ketterdam or about the correct terminology about how to describe Ketterdam, please be patient and bear with me while I'm learning.
Possible part 2? ;)
Song
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You were angry with him, Kaz was sure of it.
He didn't know what he said or what he did, but he knew he did something. You had been avoiding him, tucking yourself away in the back corners of the Crow Club, or running off with Jesper. You usually spent most of the day wherever Kaz was, in his office, or lounging in your shared bedroom until Kaz needed you. The two of you had been together for about a year now, and he knew you better than you knew yourself. That's how he knew you were angry with him, and by the lack of attention you were giving him you must be really angry with him. It made his stomach churn uncomfortably.
Jesper, who happened to be your closest friend, tried to reassure Kaz that you weren't upset with him but Kaz didn't believe him. Surely if you weren't angry, you'd tell him that yourself. Yet you sent Jesper to talk to Kaz on your behalf, had he really screwed up to the point of receiving the silent treatment? What on Earth had he done? Was he spending too much time away from you? There was a rather complex job he had been swept up in recently, along with someone with sticky fingers skimming from the pot. Or worse, were you finally becoming impatient with his touch aversion? Despite being together for as long as you two have been, he has yet to touch you at all. Not even a light kiss, nothing.
Kaz has briefly opened up to you about Jordie, about the firepox, and of course about Pekka Rollins. You knew why Kaz couldn't bear the feel of skin, but maybe you finally had enough. He knew you had sexual needs not being met, knew you were quite promiscuous before you had begun dating him. He felt insecure about that sometimes, about how it felt like you were sacrificing something to be with him. What if the sacrifice wasn't worth it anymore? Were you cheating on him? No, you wouldn't do that. You were many things but cruel wasn't one of them, Kaz has never known you to do a single cruel thing to anybody.
Still the fear kept clawing at the inside of his head, is that why you were spending so much time away from him? Why you kept sneaking off with Jesper? Did Jesper know about this? Was he covering for you? Kaz knows that Jesper is quite promiscuous himself, in fact that's how you met Jesper. A exciting night on the town before you had joined the Crows, which led you to Jesper's bed. Of course, the two of you realized you had no romantic or sexual chemistry and opted instead to see what trouble you could get up to in Ketterdam. That's how you ended up meeting Kaz, Jesper had brought you to him when you were in need of work. You joined the Crows, and the rest is history.
Despite how hard he tried not to, Kaz fell in love with you. He didn't show it, or say it really other than the one time he did say it. But he thought you knew, that's how you two worked. Neither of you required words or actions to know how you felt, but maybe Kaz had been wrong. Was he neglecting your needs? Did you feel satisfied and loved by Kaz? Were you seeking companionship and affection elsewhere? He couldn't stop his mind from spiraling, it was beginning to impact his ability to run the Crow Club. He often found himself distracted when his eyes landed on the empty spot you usually occupied next to him. It's what led him to seek out Inej, and ask her to do something he wasn't particularly proud of.
"You want me to what?" Her voice was incredulous, you were also a close friend of Inej's. She didn't feel right spying on you, and the seriousness in Kaz's gaze unnerved her.
"I need to know if...if she's seeing somebody else." Kaz explained, his head hung low and his gloved palms pressed flat against his desk.
"She isn't." Inej states firmly, she knows you're head over heels for Kaz. You've been utterly enamored by Kaz since you first laid eyes on him.
"She's been distant. Is asleep before I come to bed and is gone before I wake up. Spends more time with Jesper than she used to, hardly looks me in the eye. Something is wrong. I've done something. I've driven her away somehow, I need you to tell me who she's been seeing." Kaz says, his teeth gritting at the thought of someone else touching you, seeing your bare skin. Kaz needs to know who he is... so they can talk. Inej can't help but admit that your behavior has been odd lately, though she still doesn't think you're cheating on Kaz.
"Kaz-"
"She's going to leave me. It's a matter of time. Can I count on you to do this for me?" Kaz interrupts, this isn't a discussion. It's not something he's keen on discussing in depth either. He just needs to know. Kaz knows he's being unfair, he can see the way Inej has always looked at him. He feels guilty for taking advantage of her affections for him to ensure she spies on you, but he can't last another second without knowing.
"Yes, of course. I'll report back to you once I've learned who he is." She's out the window before Kaz even hears her move. He sucks in a shaky breath, he loves you. More than he's comfortable with if he's being honest, and the thought of you leaving him for someone who's comfortable touching you makes him angry enough to kill whomever the man is on sight. Angry enough to beat him until he's bloody and damn near unrecognizable. Kaz is a bastard of the barrel after all, they don't call him Dirtyhands for no reason.
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Inej has been shadowing you for most of the day. You spent most of the day with Jesper, gambling, having drinks, searching for trouble. You had spent a bit of time quietly talking with Jesper, but the two of you know better than to talk loudly. You know spies like Inej exist, Kaz made sure to teach you how to keep your voice hushed. There was a pained look on your face as you sat with Jesper outside a pub. He had one of his classic warm expressions on his face, the one he uses to coax the truth out of you. He'd been victim to Kaz's anxious pestering and had decided to confront you about it. Inej hugged one of the nearby roofs, and tried to get close enough to listen.
"You can't tell anybody this Jes, I'm not joking." You say seriously and he nods instantly, scooting closer to you as your voice drops. You'd been having a problem lately, one you desperately wanted Kaz to fix but knew he couldn't.
"C'mon you know I wouldn't blab your secrets." He says with a playful smile, doing his best to ease your nerves. Jesper has also noticed you were spending more time with him than usual, but never questioned it because you were practically his sister. He loved spending time with you, but had begun to wonder if your relationship with Kaz was struggling. His concerns only heightened once he noticed how wound up Kaz seems to be about it.
"Is...everything okay with Kaz?" Jesper asks carefully, watching the look of disdain cross onto your face. Inej strains her ears, only catching Kaz's name.
"Yes. No. I don't know. It's all my fault." You push your head into your hands, feeling your entire body flush. The reason you'd been spending so much time with Jesper wasn't because you're angry with Kaz, it's because you feel no sexual attraction to Jesper. You could finally relax around him, being with Kaz all day has slowly gotten more and more difficult. You find yourself following the lines of his body with your eyes, the space between your legs dampening when you see Kaz's jaw tense or his fingers curl around his cane. He was driving you mad, you needed him so badly it was hard to think about anything else. You craved Kaz but you know you can't ask him to help with this particular problem...he isn't ready yet. That's fine, you'll wait forever if that's what it takes, but you don't want him to feel like he's neglecting you. Which is why you'd been avoiding him.
"Talk. What's bugging you? You're really starting to freak Kaz out." Jesper says softly, tilting his bottle back to swallow the alcohol inside it. Your heart sinks.
"I am? Shit." You didn't think he noticed with how busy he's been lately. Clearly he paid more attention to you than you originally thought. "Nothing is wrong, really. I'm just...frustrated."
"Why? What has he done?"
"No Jes, I'm frusrtated." You say, cheeks heating once the look of realization crosses onto his face. He chuckles.
"Oh. A year of unexpected celibacy hasn't done you any good has it?" Jesper teases, and you reach over to shove him. Inej is only catching pieces of the conversation, but the word 'celibacy' stands out like it's been outlined in neon lights. Okay, so if Jesper is teasing you about being celibate, you're clearly not cheating on Kaz.
"The first thing you need to do is be honest with Kaz. He's starting to spiral, I think." Jesper says and you feel guilt surge through you like you'd been dumped in cold water. You didn't want to worry Kaz, you just didn't want him to feel guilty for something that isn't his fault.
"Second thing you need to do is figure out a way Kaz can help you get off without having to touch you." Jesper says, as if that's the easiest thing in the world. Your cheeks color red, and you take the bottle out of Jesper's hand to take a drink. Inej definitely heard that, the more drunk you two get the less careful you are. She slinks back over the roof, knowing that she no longer needs to follow you.
"How on Earth can Kaz make me cum without touching me?" You know you should probably feel more bashful talking to Jesper about this than you do, but the first time you met him you nearly had sex with him. He's seen your entire body bare and it was halfway through the evening that the two of you came to the conclusion that it just wasn't working for either of you. Thus is the reason why you're probably more comfortable with Jesper than you should be.
"Two words my naïve friend, mutual masturbation. That way both of you can get your rocks on without having to touch each other." Jesper says, sly smile making its way onto his face once he sees the gears turning in your head.
"I am not naïve." You complain, drawing a laugh from Jesper.
"You know if Kaz ever finds out we spoke about this, he'll kill you." You mention and Jesper rolls his eyes.
"I'd like to see him try, gonna go talk to him now?" Jesper asks and you stand with a sigh.
"Yeah, I can't make him worry any longer."
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Kaz was pacing back and forth in his office the entire time Inej was gone. He barely heard her re-enter through the open window, and when he laid eyes on her the first thing he noticed was her flushed complexion.
"Well? Who is he?" He asked expectantly, his heart already sinking in his stomach. She caught you sleeping with another man, that's why she looks so bashful. Why she has a hard time meeting his eye. She caught you cheating on him.
"Kaz...she isn't cheating on you." Inej says finally, and Kaz feels his eyebrows pull together.
"No, that's the only logical explanation. She has to be. What did she do today?" He demands, not at all believing Inej.
"Went drinking with Jesper, and I overheard their conversation." She begins, and Kaz stays silent, urging her to continue. There's tension in his shoulders and on his face, though Inej doesn't really know how to explain what she heard.
"I think it would be better to let Y/N explain. Trust me when I say she isn't cheating, and she should be on her way here now." Inej says and as if on cue there's a knock on his office door. He turns to face Inej again, but she's already gone. Kaz turns to open the door, and is unsurprised when he sees you standing in the hallway with a guilty look on your face. He opens the door wider to let you in, and you enter his office quickly pacing in front of his desk. Kaz closes the door behind you, watching you with nervous eyes.
"My love, please talk to me." He hates pleading, hates how weak he sounds but he can't help it. He can see the distress on your face, can see the tension being held in your body. He wants to fix it, and for a second he goes to pull you against his chest. He wants to hold you, but he feels panic crawling up his neck at the thought of touching you. Curse Pekka Rollins for damaging him the way he has, for causing this rift in his relationship.
"Kaz I promise I didn't mean to make you worry. I still love you." You rush out, needing him to know that first. Some of the worry eases then, but the concern is still there.
"I love you too darling, what's wrong? Talk to me." Kaz pushes again, taking a step closer to you. His eyes study your face, your cheeks are flushed, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you nibble anxiously.
"I'm well...I just feel uh frustrated." You say, putting it the same way you described it to Jesper hoping that Kaz catches on as Jesper did.
"Are you angry with me, love?" Kaz asks and you want to kiss him all over his face when you notice the adorably confused look on his face.
"No, not that kind of frustrated." You try again, and Kaz's eyebrows pinch together. Finally you see a look of understanding dawn his features and your cheeks turn even darker. So he was partially right, your sexual needs are not being met and you've finally begun to feel wound up. Kaz knew this would happen eventually, he's been hoping you don't leave him because of it.
"B-But I have an idea... if you're up for it." You start carefully, and Kaz swallows thickly. He's not sure he's ready to touch you, he wants to, can feel the urge bubbling beneath his skin. But he isn't there yet.
"Sweetheart I'm not sure I can touch you just yet," Kaz begins gently, guilt on his face as his eyes soften.
"You don't have to, just hear me out...please?" You beg, and the needy look in your eyes nearly makes his knees buckle. You feel like you could combust at any moment, the heat coursing through you is suffocating. Kaz has seen you naked by now, but neither of you have ever done anything like this.
"You could make me feel good, b-but I'll be your hands. Your voice alone could make me cum Kaz." You say shyly, watching his eyebrows shoot up at your words.
"You could make yourself feel good too, w-we could do it together." You explain, watching warmth crawl up Kaz's neck. A look you don't recognize crosses onto Kaz's face, it makes your entire body feel boneless at the intensity in his eyes.
"My pretty girl wants me to help her masturbate? Is that it?" His voice is low, a near purr and it sends heat straight between your thighs. Kaz knows you need more from him, and if his voice is how he can help meet your sexual needs then he'll do it. He'll do damn near anything if you ask him to. You nod instantly, already feeling tingles going south.
"Sit on the couch." He says, his voice rough as he pulls his office chair out to sit down in front of his desk. Before he sits, he turns for his office door.
"Undress." His voice is commanding, as is his presence in the room. You feel your heart hammering against your ribcage as your shaky palms shed your clothing layer by layer. Kaz also closes and locks the window before he sits back in his office chair. His eyes drink up every inch of bare skin that is slowly being revealed to him. You sit back against the couch once your undergarments fall to the floor and you're naked before him. You feel nervous, but the heat in his gaze is enough to make arousal pool between your legs.
"Spread your legs for me my love, I want to see you." He says, his voice still holding its commanding tone. It was obvious that despite the fact that he isn't touching you he's still very much in charge here- totally in control of your pleasure. You do as he asks, shyly spreading your legs and revealing your glistening folds to him. Kaz feels his pants tighten at the sight of you, you're practically dripping onto his couch.
"My poor girl, look at you. Must have been in desperate need of release for days. You should have came to me sooner, love." Kaz says softly, his voice making your body heat up. You nod fervently, your skin buzzing and you haven't even begun touching yourself yet. Subconsciously you seem to have submit to him already, accepting that he's the one in control. That you can't do anything without his say so, you should have known that he would be domineering in bed.
"Show me how you touch yourself when I'm not around." Kaz instructs and you send him a bashful look. You've never had such a direct audience to such an intimate moment before, but there's nobody else you could imagine doing this for. You lean back comfortably against the couch, your eyes landing on Kaz and you seriously have to bite your lip to keep from moaning at the sight of him. He's lounging back in his office chair like a King sat upon his throne. His legs are spread, and there's an obvious bulge in his pants. His eyes are dark and lust blown, his gaze glued between your legs.
You snake a palm down your stomach, your fingers lightly teasing your clit causing you to throw your head back.
"Keep your eyes on me." Kaz demands and you can't help but obey. You lift your head to keep your eyes on him as your fingers swirl circles on your clit.
"Tell me what to do Kaz, please." You whine, and the desperation in your voice makes his dick twitch. You see him subtly adjust himself as your fingers continue to play with your clit and run down along your slit. Kaz swallows harshly, his mind feeling unfocused and all he can do is watch the way you play with yourself.
"Push one finger inside yourself love, just one." He says breathlessly, and you obey and push one lithe finger in. You moan softly, pumping your finger but it's not enough. Your hips wriggle against the couch and Kaz can see that you need more.
"Play with your clit darling, and keep pumping that finger." Kaz instructs and the smooth undertone of his voice is making shivers run down your spine. Your other hand rubs harsh circles on your clit, and you feel like the temperature in the room has risen at least 10 degrees.
"You are breathtaking my love, an absolute vision." Kaz praises softly, he can't take his eyes away from your beautiful cunt. Your finger is wet with your slick every time it leaves your heat, and your lips are parted as soft moans escape you. He learned a long time ago that you like to be praised, that you crave those words of affection. He isn't big on being affectionate in public, but he usually compliments you every so often. If only to watch your cheeks darken and the goosebumps raise along your skin. He watches a shiver run down your spine at his words.
"You're doing so good my love, add another finger for me." Kaz says, and you push 2 fingers into your soaked cunt. Kaz palms himself through his pants, he's beginning to strain painfully against his pants.
"Kaz touch yourself, please I want to watch." You beg and Kaz swears in that moment he's died and gone to heaven. How could someone as beautiful and perfect as you be spread out naked on his couch? And yet he's still too afraid to touch you. He swallows thickly as he continues to watch you thrust your fingers into your cunt, and he's scrambling to open his pants enough to pull himself free. As soon as his cock is freed he's releasing a sigh of relief.
"Go faster my love, I want to watch you ruin that tiny little cunt." Kaz nearly pleads and you instantly pick up the pace, slamming your fingers into yourself. You moan again once you feel that coil winding in your stomach and heat sears through your entire body when you watch Kaz wrap a gloved hand around himself. You watch with lidded eyes as he begins to pump his shaft slowly, a soft groan escaping his lips. This is by far the most erotic thing you've ever done, and you've had your fair share of lovers before you begun dating Kaz.
"I'm- I'm gonna cum Kaz, can I? Please?" You ask, needing his permission before you let yourself release. Kaz growls softly, his own hand speeding up and jerking himself faster. He can see how fucked out you looked, he could hardly fathom how you'd look once he actually works up the courage to touch you.
"Yes sweetheart, cum for me. Look me in the eyes darling." Kaz says, and your eyes lock onto his as you feel your orgasm wash over you. You cry out softly, your body convulsing as you gush all over your fingers. Kaz feels his own orgasm creeping up on him as he watches you cum, you've never looked more beautiful. You suddenly get an idea and pull yourself onto your knees before him, making sure to keep your hands to yourself. You sit between his spread legs and look up into his eyes, blinking your doe eyes up at him makes him groan softly.
"Cum on my face." You say it so casually Kaz almost doesn't hear you. He feels heat sear through him once he registers what you've said, and he keeps quickly pumping himself. His head tosses back as the pleasure builds, but he can't help but pull his gaze back to you. You're waiting with your mouth open, eyes fixed on his.
"Fuck, you look so beautiful on your knees before me. Don't move my love, let me cum on your face." Kaz gasps, feeling his orgasm hit him suddenly. His chest heaves as white ropes of cum land on your face, mostly in your mouth. You hum happily as you swallow it down, wiping it off your cheeks and licking it off your fingers. Kaz watches with hooded eyes as you smile up at him, and then he does something you don't expect.
He leans forward and briefly presses his lips against yours to give you a quick kiss. It's quick, but its the first skin to skin contact with Kaz you've ever had. You beam up at him, and he's never seen you look happier than you did in that moment. He feels guilt seeping into his mind, has he really deprived you so much that a simple kiss brings you so much joy? Do you feel satisfied with him or is he damning you to a lifetime of longing for more? Kaz feels his skin prickling uncomfortably, but he leans down and presses a more firm kiss to your lips. He wants you to feel fulfilled. His lips move softly against yours until he feels nausea turn in his stomach and he pulls away. His heart is racing and he has to repeat to himself that it's just you, just you sitting naked in his office. He's safe, everything is fine. He has to repeat this to himself to keep the oncoming panic attack away.
All because of a simple kiss.
"Don't push yourself my love." You remind him softly as you lift yourself from the floor. He wants to reach out and take you in his arms, wants to press his face against the soft skin of your tummy. But he can't and he hates himself for it. Hates that you have to baby him and deprive yourself of the intimacy he knows you crave.
"Was this good my love, was it enough?" Kaz asks softly, hating how vulnerable he sounds. You turn, surprise on your face as you look at him.
"It was perfect Kaz, what's wrong?" You ask softly, reaching down to start pulling your clothes on.
"Are you happy with me? Am I fulfilling your needs?" Kaz tucks himself back into his pants and watches as you put your clothes back on. You look like a Goddess as you do.
"Kaz being with you has made me the happiest I've ever been in my life. You always make sure I want for nothing, where is this coming from?" You ask sadly, and your heart is breaking. How could he ever think he isn't enough for you as he is?
"You were sexually frustrated but didn't feel comfortable telling me because...because I can't touch you. Doesn't that bother you?" Kaz asks, hesitantly meeting your eye when you move to stand in front of him.
"Kaz...I just didn't want to make you feel bad. I don't mind that you can't touch me, I love you as you are." You reassure him but he still holds so much tension in his shoulders.
"You say that now. But can you handle not being touched...forever? I don't think you'll feel the same way 10 years from now." Kaz says, already having made his mind up on the matter.
"Kaz-"
"I want to take that step with you Y/N, I will overcome my...aversion...to ensure I meet all of your needs. Especially your sexual needs. Just be patient with me, please." Kaz says softly and you feel your heart swell at his promise. You nod with a soft smile, wishing you could wrap your arms around him and inhale his scent.
"I love you Kaz, always." You promise and you finally see the tension ebbing away from his shoulders.
"I love you darling."
2K notes · View notes
hyunfilms · 7 months
Text
connected (hhj) | one shot.
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—summary: a night alone at the bar leads you to a beautiful man named hyunjin.
—pairing: hwang hyunjin x f. reader
—genre: (18+) strangers to lovers | fluff, smut
—word count: 5.6k
—content/warnings: love at first sight kinda thing? soulmates if you really squint, was kinda inspired reading yung pueblo's poem (his poem isnt available anymore rip), cussing, model/artist hyunjin, oc and hyunjin are completely enamored by each other & hyunjin got googly eyes hehe, he is very sweet and a gentleman though, alcohol consumption, intoxication, kisses/making out, protected sex, praising, oral (f. receiving), fingering, sprinkle of spit play, ass-smacking, breast play, sprinkle of choking, missionary, doggy style 🤓 woof, multiple orgasms (like 2 lol), after care and cuddles, lightly edited so i apologize if i miss anything!!, very self-indulgent and just something i needed to write out 😭
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—ON ROTATION: fwm - tone stith / for us - v
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Sleepless nights.
It’s another one of those sleepless nights— for him, for her, for many people, for you.
Your business trip to Paris was coming to an end tonight; an early AM flight scheduled in the morning to bring you back to your beautiful, but also mundane life in California. Although grateful for the opportunity to travel here and explore for a week and a half, you were ready to get back to the familiar. The familiar places, the familiar faces, familiar routine. You sigh at the thought, finishing up your cocktail at the bar while scrolling through social media. 
“Another one, miss?” The bartender comes to you with a small smile on his face.
“Please. Thank you.” You nod and reciprocate the smile, eyes now glancing around the room as you feel the alcohol slowly running through your veins. The bar was beautifully decorated in dark, elegant decor, lights dimmed throughout the entire room. Luckily for you, your hotel room was only a few floors up— making it incredibly easy for you to enjoy yourself and let loose; something you haven’t been able to do while being bombarded with coworkers and a tight agenda.
Your eyes fall onto the couple just a table or two away. They’re enjoying their drinks, though their eyes say they’re bored and over each other with the way they can’t keep eye contact for longer than 2 seconds. Then, your eyes fall onto the lady in the far corner who is typing furiously away on her phone. Your eyes shift to the gentleman all the way down on the other end of the bar, repeatedly looking down at his watch before bringing the phone to his ear for the umpteenth time; probably waiting on a date that never showed up when they said they would.
“Whiskey on the rocks, please?” Your eyes now fall onto the tall, attractive man that slides into the empty seat next to you— setting his bag onto the surface before letting out a heavy sigh. He’s in a black sweater, slacks and black chelsea boots, and you can’t help but notice how everything sits on his figure so, so perfectly. Hair pulled back in a neat ponytail, a few bangs framing the sides of his face; freshly shaved undercut. His tongue quickly swipes the surface of his pink, plump lips before he thanks the bartender and sips on his drink— you’re sure you’ve never seen anybody so perfectly sculpted.
Was this a cruel joke?
“Your cocktail, miss.” You thank the bartender again before shyly sipping on your second glass of the night, trying to keep to your own space.
“Sorry, hope someone wasn’t sitting here already.” He suddenly says, making you turn towards him. There’s really no one else around but you two; perhaps, another individual a few seats down, and that gentleman at the end still waiting on his date. 
“Oh, um. No.” You give him a toothless smile. “You’re good.”
“Cool.” Is all he says before chugging the whiskey in his glass, asking for another round. “It’s been a long night. Wanna take a shot with me?” He turns to you again, licking his lips yet again. “No pressure.” You keep your eyes on him as you think about your next move. He is an attractive man, a harmless one at that. 
It’s your last night in Paris, what do you have to lose?
“Sure.” You shrug. “Why not?”
“Nice to know you’re down.” He laughs a bit before calling the bartender and asking for two shots. “What’s your poison?”
“Tequila.” He pokes his bottom lip out before nodding in agreement.
“Two shots of tequila it is, then.”
“Didn’t you just down some whiskey? That’s a little dangerous.” He laughs before turning in his seat to face you.
“Don’t worry about me sweetheart, I’m staying here.” Crazy, you think. Out of all the times to bump into someone who is also staying at this hotel. “What about you?”
“I’m here, too.” You sip on your drink some more.
“Then we’ll enjoy it.” He flashes his pearly whites when he smiles. “Hyunjin.” He holds out his hand.
“Y/N.”
“Pleasure to meet you.” He caresses the surface of your hand with his thumb just as the bartender comes back with two shot glasses filled to the brim with tequila. The bartender points to your cocktail with a smirk.
“Need a refill to wash down the tequila, or do you need something else?”
“I should be good. Thanks.” He winks before tending to the others down the line.
“So, Y/N. Where are you from?”
“California. What about you?”
“Seoul.”
“Nice. One of my friends moved there recently.” You quickly think about Lola, hoping she’s doing okay. Mental note to send her a message on Kakao later. “What brings you here?”
“Mm, probably the same reason as you.” Hyunjin smirks.
“Work?” He nods.
“See. Already have something in common.” You chuckle a bit, biting onto your bottom lip. “How long are you here for?”
“I’ve been here for close to two weeks. I’m heading back tomorrow morning.”
“Shame.” He does a slight head tilt. “We probably could have had fun exploring together.” You cock an eyebrow up before letting out a giggle.
“You think I’d be fun to explore with? A stranger?”  Hyunjin grabs his shot glass while gently pushing yours over to you.
“I mean, you were down to take a shot with me. Why wouldn’t you be?” He raises his shot glass. “Cheers, Y/N.” You take your shot glass and tap it against his, the both of you taking the shot to the neck. Hyunjin makes a face [that probably mirrors yours right now] before sipping on a soda as chase. You squint your eyes as the burn lingers down your throat, immediately reaching for your cocktail to chase the rest down— which is definitely not the best choice of action here.
But, you’re enjoying the night. The last night. 
With a beautiful, beautiful man next to you.
“Atta girl.” He laughs.
“Haven’t done that in awhile.”
“Feels kinda liberating in a sense, hm?” He teases. “Since I’m working with a deadline here, let’s get another round going while you tell me about yourself.”
“Another?”
“Last. Promise.” He winks.
“Hm.” You hum. “What can I tell you?” You ask, even though you mainly mean that question for yourself. What can you tell Hyunjin that is enough, and not too much?
“Why someone like you doesn’t have anyone by your side tonight?” He shrugs. “Or, anything. Everything, really. That works, too.” Hyunjin runs his finger along his bottom lip.
“Someone like me? Are you always this forward?” You tilt your head, already starting to feel the shot and cocktail. You like the way his eyes are glued on you, you like the way he says your name. You like the way he’s being forward, you like the way he looks tonight. You like him, you take interest in him.
He is exciting.
“No, but it’s the deadline.” He reminds you, making you snort.
“Well. It’s because I just don’t have anyone by my side in general.” You answer his question with a chuckle. “Just a 24 year old in tech, visiting their Paris office for another project.” You swirl the stirrer in your cocktail. “What about you? What brings you here?”
“Just a 23 year old dabbling in some art stuff. Some Fashion stuff.” He laughs, red tint coloring the surface of his cheeks just as the bartender brings another round of tequila shots. “Nothing too fancy.”
‘It sounds fancy.”
“Maybe, maybe not.” He answers with another one of his cryptic responses, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Ready for round two?”
“Maybe, maybe not.” You mock him and he laughs, passing your shot glass.
“Cute.” He taps his shot glass against yours, giving you a nod of acknowledgment before you two are repeating the process— knocking the shot back, relieving the burn with some sort of chase, giggling at how quick the alcohol is hitting you both. You are drunk, and you should’ve eaten a bit more before this. Fuck. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“If you couldn’t tell already, I think you’re really, really pretty.”
“Is that so?” He nods cutely, and it makes you laugh.
“Mhm. So I mean it when I say I wanna know all about you.”
“You don’t give up, do you?” He shakes his head.
“Nah.” He smiles, bottom lip in between his teeth as he eyes your features. “So, what is Y/N all about?” He sits back a bit while his gaze lingers on you, your eyes. The tip of your nose. Your lips. Your long, beautiful lashes.
He is paying attention to every word that slips from your lips, watching your hand gestures as you quickly explain your family dynamics and how you’ve grown up in a quiet household— always remaining quiet, shy and kept to yourself even until this day. You tell him about your friends back home, how you love to stay at home and be a homebody, how you occasionally find the energy to haul yourself out for long, but fun nights with your girls. You also [drunkenly] stumble upon the topic of exes, which you don’t normally open up about right away. But you’re a few shots in, and it doesn’t help that Hyunjin is actually showing interest in you.
He hasn’t taken his eyes off of you, and he doesn’t plan to.
“Yeah, we’re not really friends or anything like that anymore.” You blabber on. “He blocked me everywhere. Which, you know—” You hiccup, a bit more drunk than you were 5 minutes ago. “I kinda don’t care because he shouldn’t be asking to look through my phone every time I go out. I fucking left after that. No sir, not me. No thanks.” Hyunjin laughs, endeared by how quick you’ve opened up to him. He appreciates it, and he does enjoy the way you talk about life; even if you may view it as simple, quiet.
“You’re right for having left him.” Hyunjin leans forward a bit. “It’s not fair, especially when you’ve never given him a reason to distrust you. You deserve better than that.”
“You think so?” You chuckle.
“Mhm.” 
“Sorry, I totally went off and probably told you a lot more than you should know at this point.” He shakes his head. “What about you, Hyunjin?”
“No, I like hearing you talk. You’re very cute.” He laughs. “I’m not that interesting.”
“Really? I think you are.” You rest your chin on the palm of your hand.
“Yeah?” He smirks. “I just paint. A lot. I do some photoshoots. That’s all.”
“So are you like .. an artist, or something? A model?” He shrugs.
“I’m just Hyunjin.” He smiles. “But, I guess so? You can say that. I don’t have lots of friends, people oddly find me intimidating but I don’t care much to fix that either. I do stick to a few of them, we hang out often. I haven’t dated in awhile either, wasn’t really a priority for me.”
“Why did your last relationship end?” You internally curse yourself for fixing on that one detail out of everything else he’s mentioned. But, he doesn’t seem to mind. Spoiler: he doesn’t.
“Just didn’t click well like we thought we would.”
“I’m sorry.” He smiles.
“Don’t be. I like where I’m at.” 
“That’s all that matters, right?”
“Yeah. Especially right now.” You cock a brow up, head tilting to the side again.
“Right now?”
“Mhm, with you. A few shots and drinks down, pondering on life. My kinda evening. Makes me not regret a thing about coming here.”
“You’re funny.” 
“And you’re pretty.” He licks his bottom lip and bites onto it. His hand is only a few inches away from yours, pinky dying to reach out and pull your hand into his— wanting to playfully lace his fingers with yours. He’s not sure what it is, but he was drawn to you from the very moment he stepped into the bar. He smiled a bit to himself when he saw you people-watching, keeping to yourself as you sipped your drink and continued to scroll through your phone. You were totally oblivious to him from the beginning, and that was okay. Hyunjin wanted to quietly slip himself into the equation and find more subtle ways to talk to you, get to know you.
And he doesn’t regret a fucking thing.
He might be drunk, but he means it. He hasn’t ever felt this comfortable with a stranger, someone he met not too long ago. And that says a lot for him; it says a lot about you, your character. Meanwhile, you don’t think you’ll ever understand how someone like Hyunjin decided to waltz in and take this seat next to you at the time that he did. You’ll never understand the timing of everything, how the universe works and why it had to be a beautiful man like Hyunjin who found you first. But, you also don’t regret a damn thing, and you’re glad you decided to head to the bar tonight— especially alone.
When you meet Hyunjin’s eyes, it’s obvious that he’s feeling something— but that’s not the problem, no. You’re dying to find out what it means for the both of you tonight, how he plans to show you. Because you know he will, and that’s where the problem lies. What happens after that? When you both go along your merry ways?
“You know.. I think I’m just gonna call it a night soon.” You want to find out, but you don’t know if it’ll be good for you.
“Yeah?” You stand but find yourself stumbling on your own feet, letting out a laugh when you try to grab your things and keep yourself together. “Woah, pretty lady.” Hyunjin laughs with you. “How about I walk you to your room?” You pause. Fuck it.
“Okay, yeah. That’d be nice.”
“Alright, let me just pay for our tab—” He gives the bartender a look and gestures to close out the tab, his card already in his hand.
“What, no! Hyunjin.” You wrestle with your own wallet. “Let me pay for my own drinks.”
“Nah, I got you. On me.” He smiles sweetly. “Please.” You let out a sigh and surrender, letting him pay for the drinks before he stands and slips his card back into his wallet.
“Thank you.”
“No, thank you. For being good company.” He gives you a toothless smile. “So, where to?”
“10th floor?”
“After you.” He bids the bartender one last farewell before following you out of the bar and out into the hotel lobby. His eyes can’t help but linger down your figure; eyeing that tight, itty bitty off-the-shoulder dress and the way it hugs your curves, black over-the-knee boots hugging your legs nicely. 
Ain’t no way you were just planning on sitting at the bar looking that fine.
“Hyunjin?” You call for him as you both stand in front of the elevator doors, and he’s snapped out of his thoughts. “You don’t actually have to walk me. I can make it in one piece.” You giggle.
“Leave you alone while drunk? I don’t think so.” He chuckles.
“Hm.” You hum, eyes fixed on the elevator doors in front of you. Hyunjin stands right behind you— inches away, just close enough to feel the heat radiate from his body. When the elevator dings, Hyunjin gently presses his hand against the small of your back; pushing you forward into the elevator. The touch itself brings tingles down your spine, enough where it has you struggling to keep your composure. You lean against the back railing, while Hyunjin stands next to you— hand resting on the rail as he faces your direction. Your eyes meet his, and you feel yourself get weak in the knees;
So weak that your phone slips out of your hands, making a loud thud against the floor.
“Oops, shit.” You mutter.
“I got it.” Hyunjin laughs, bending down to grab your phone. You can’t help but watch his every move closely, watching as he bends down, large hand grabbing at your phone. He’s way too close to your legs at one point, and your mind wanders to what it would be like if he were in between— “Think that belongs to you, miss.” He teases, standing tall as he hands you your phone. “You sure you’re good?”
“I am.” Except, not. Because the elevator is ten times hotter than it was earlier, and it seems to be taking its sweet ol’ time getting to your floor. The tension is unreal.
“What’s on your mind?”
“What do you mean?”
“I can hear you thinking.”
“Mmm, I’m not sure.”
“What do you mean?” You pause as you look at him.
“I mean, has anyone ever told you how attractive you are?” You blurt out, alcohol definitely giving you that liquid courage to say anything and everything that’s currently running through your mind. “You just.. look like that.” He laughs.
“I could say the same for you, pretty. Trust me.” He leans forward towards your ear a bit, his scent lingering and trapping you in. “You wanna know something else?”
“Hm?”
“You make it very hard to not wanna kiss you.” He pulls back a bit to read your expression— almost like he’s giving you leverage to take it and run with it, or leave it. Everything in your court.
So, you choose.
And you choose by gently grabbing at his sweater, planting your lips on his for that first, initial kiss. His lips are soft and pillowy, just like you imagined. You only pull away a few inches, eyes darting from Hyunjin’s eyes, to his lips, back up to his eyes. He chases after your lips within the next minute, hand coming up to cup you by the neck; thumb caressing your cheek. At this point, you’re stuck to Hyunjin— lips seemingly not wanting to part from his. And you’re loving every bit of it so, so much. 
You’re loving every bit of it so much that you don’t even care when the elevator takes a stop, doors sliding open for the man who was patiently waiting on the other side. He eyes the both of you before keeping his distance, positioning himself closer to the doors while scrolling through his phone. Hyunjin lets out a soft sigh in between kisses, completely wrapped up in your scent, your touch— you.
You’ve barely met, but right now, it feels like the world is at a stop; like it’s just you and Hyunjin at this moment in time. You’ll never understand it.
“Fuck.” He whispers against your lips before moving near your ear. “You’re driving me crazy.” He plants a soft kiss on your cheek before navigating back down to your lips. His other hand comes to your thigh and gives it a gentle squeeze before his finger teases the edge of your dress— Hyunjin keeping the kiss alive with your hands still gripping at his sweater. His hand travels around to give your ass a quick squeeze before pressing you flush against him; to be close to him, to feel him.
And god, do you feel him.
He takes this moment to tug on your bottom lip, making you let out a sigh. The man who stepped into the elevator is now a long-gone thought, no longer caring about his presence or the fact that he’s a mere couple of steps away from you two. But finally, the elevator dings again and flashes a bright ‘10’ on the screen. Hyunjin quickly pulls away to check the current floor before slipping his hand into yours and leading the way out of the elevator. As soon as the doors close, the both of you erupt in a fit of giggles while leading the way down the hallway to your room. As you fiddle with your bag and try to fish for your hotel keycard, Hyunjin plants feathery kisses along your neck, down to your shoulder— his fingers still teasing the edge of your dress.
“Finally.” You pout, making Hyunjin laugh before placing another kiss near your jaw. As soon as you step inside the room, you toss your bag aside and wrap your arms around Hyunjin’s neck, legs around his waist. He carries you deeper into the room, setting you down on the edge of the bed to continue kissing you. In between kisses, he works his way with your boots; gently sliding the zipper down before tossing one boot off to the side, then the next.
“This dress.” He gently pushes you down on the bed before peppering kisses along your thighs. “So perfect on you.” He nibbles on your inner thighs, then soothes the surface with his lips. “Can’t believe no one was trying to snatch you up.”
“Maybe it’s just meant to be, hm?” You tease with a playful tone. Hyunjin pauses and looks at you, a smile teasing at the corner of his lips before he comes down and presses another sweet kiss to your lips.
“Maybe I’m just lucky after all.” You feel his hand fiddling with the edge of your dress again, slowly dipping further. “You know, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We can totally—” A kiss. “Just hang out and talk more—” Another kiss. 
“Hanging out and talking more—” Kiss. “Sounds good to me.”
“Mhm.” He pulls away and looks at you, really looks at you, before brushing the hair away from your face. “I mean it. I don’t normally do things like this. I just— I don’t know.” He chuckles a bit. “I’ve been drawn to you since I walked into that bar.” It’s your turn to look at him, really look at him, and you do nothing but pull him back to your lips.
“Please keep going.” Is all you manage to say. Because you are also drawn to him, and you’ll never understand it.
But right now, you don’t want to try and understand it. You just want to take this moment for what it is, for everything that it is.
The intensity grows during the heated kiss, and Hyunjin is back to slotting himself in between your thighs, dress now pushed up.
“Can I?” He asks, and you nod— giving him full permission to remove your panties and toss them off to the side; feet propped up on the bed to give Hyunjin the best view. He doesn’t waste any time before he’s running his thumb down your slit, sliding two fingers in just to get a feel for you. He bites onto his bottom lip, reveling in the soft moans you’re letting out. “So wet for me.” He says before licking a stripe upwards, feeling your legs slightly jolt at the sensation. “Gonna take care of you.” He reassures you by running a hand up your thigh and gently squeezing it. He laps at your folds, sucking gently at the sensitive nub before repeating his motions and pumping his digits into you at a set pace. 
“My god.” You whimper, hands resting on Hyunjin’s head. A gasp falls from your slips when Hyunjin removes his fingers and spits on your pussy, tongue spreading your wetness all over. You continue to grind against his mouth, picking up the pace when you feel yourself reaching your peak. The way he was taking care of you was heaven sent; incredibly heaven sent that with just another roll or two, Hyunjin manages to push you over the edge. “Oh— yes!” You blurt out as you come undone, your entire body going limp while catching stars.
Hyunjin soothes you through small pecks on your thighs, through gentle squeezes of the hips. He stands and hovers over you, giving you a taste of yourself when he leans in for a kiss— holding the kiss there momentarily. When you part, he watches as you take his hand, tongue circling around the two fingers that were just inside of you. He swears he almost loses himself at that moment, but he manages to keep himself together. Hyunjin moves you up on the bed, making sure you’re comfortable in between the tiny kisses he plants all over your body.
Chest.
Hands, fingers.
Collarbone, neck.
Lips.
He’s stripping you of your dress, just as you help him out of his sweater, his slacks. His eyes widen when he pops off your strapless bra, letting out a shaky breath before taking a nipple into his mouth— tongue working in circular motions and pulling back with a pop. You arch your back slightly and let out a moan, Hyunjin taking this opportunity to move onto the next bud and repeating the motion on it. You tease at the waistband of his boxers before he wrestles himself out of them; dick painfully hard and springing free. He lets out a moan when he feels your hand wrap around his member, pumping him a few times and watching the pre-cum leak from his tip.
“Need you.” He breathily moans. “Need you now, pretty.”
“Here.” You pause, grabbing the single condom from your bag on the nightstand. Hyunjin leans back on his ankles, laughing at the box you’ve handed over.
“So, why do you have this?” He smirks as he rips the condom open and begins to slide it down his length.
“Quit. My bestfriend shoved it in my bag as a ‘just in case.’”
“Tell them I said thank you.” You giggle.
“Shut up.” Hyunjin bites his lip before diving in for another kiss. Even as he breaks the kiss, his lips continue to graze yours as he lines himself up at your entrance— eyes glued to yours as he slips himself in slowly. He watches your eyes roll back and shut close, back arching; a silent moan leaving your lips. He continues to push, and push, until he bottoms out and lets out a shaky breath; giving himself a moment to adjust and keep his composure.
God, you feel good around him.
“Fuuuuck.” He moans. “Feels too good. So perfect.” He begins to slowly pick up the pace, hearing your slickness make those noises beneath him that drive him insane. You grip onto his chiseled biceps, pretty white polished nails digging into the surface of his skin. At this point, Hyunjin has found the perfect rhythm— sinking into you every thrust, feeling every inch, every delicate point that he can touch. 
Deeply.
“Hyunjin, god. Please.” You whine and beg continuously, calling his name as he continues to pound into you relentlessly. The only sounds in the room are the sounds of skin against skin, wet kisses being exchanged in between and your names bouncing off of the walls.
“I got you.” Hyunjin feels you squeezing him, and it’s taking everything within him not to burst. He takes a hand to your neck and gives it a gentle squeeze, watching your tits bounce with every thrust he gives.
And he gives it all. 
He sits back for a moment when he sees you starting to move your hips and ride against his movements. Another moan slips from his lips when he watches you roll your hips and work him from beneath, hissing when you speed it up. 
“Such a good girl.” He says. Your moans become a little sharper, a little louder, Hyunjin now taking his thumb to your clit to relieve some of the tension. You begin to whimper, your nails digging a little deeper, and Hyunjin can feel your walls starting to cave. He continues his work on your clit before he's back to fucking you senselessly into the mattress. 
“Right there— Hyunjin—” Your words are broken as you try to chase your high. “Close—” 
“That’s it, pretty.” He says, praising you and egging you to tip over the edge. It takes a few more before Hyunjin sees your face contort in pleasure, back arching just as you tremble underneath him. “Shit, that’s it.” He repeats, feeling your walls pulse against him. He feels himself getting close to his own climax, so he quickly pulls out and has you flip over— face down, ass up. He wastes no time slipping himself back in, continuing at the pace he was just at even though you were still trying to recover from your last orgasm. Though a bit sensitive, the pleasure rebuilds quickly, and you’re back to begging Hyunjin to go harder.
Faster.
Which, he gladly does. He gives your ass a good smack, leaving his print while letting out a groan and gripping your hips. He calls your name, praising you for how good you’ve been to him tonight and how lucky he is. 
“Y/N, fuck— gonna cum.” He breathes out, his thrusts becoming sloppy as he feels his coil threatening to snap. Sooner or later, a beautiful, melodic moan slips from his lips, his hands digging crescents into your hips as he falls onto you and fills up the condom. “You okay, pretty?” He presses a soft kiss on your back, your right shoulder.
“Mhm.” He removes himself from you, the both of you letting out soft sighs at the feeling. Hyunjin tosses the condom in the trash before racing off to the bathroom.
“Let me get you cleaned up.” He says as he grabs for one of your wipes sitting in the bathroom, cleaning you up before himself. You shyly head to the bathroom to finish up and change into something more comfortable— slipping into the covers while Hyunjin throws on his boxers. You’re not really sure what’s next, and to be honest, you’re a little unsure of how to navigate this whole one-night-stand thing.
Because of course you’ll have to. You leave tomorrow. This is the first and last time you’ll see Hyunjin.
It makes you a bit sad, for whatever reason.
“I-I hope you know you aren’t obligated to stay, I know you must wanna go back to your room—” He laughs a bit and turns to you.
“How about I stay until you fall asleep, hm? That sound okay with you?” Yes, yes it does. You want him here, and you want to cherish every last bit of this tender, intimate moment that you’ve shared with someone you connected with hours ago.
“Okay.” He slips himself in, comfortable in his boxer briefs and nothing else. You find this to be the cherry on top; the way Hyunjin pulls you in and allows you to lay on his chest, listening to his heartbeat beneath you, the way he lazily throws an arm over you but keeps you close, the way that he just lets you be.
Hyunjin is connected to you. He is drawn to you.
The combination of the alcohol and exhaustion is now pushing you to fall asleep quickly in Hyunjin’s arms. He manages to close his eyes, afraid to move you or wake you— wanting you to get the best sleep possible before your flight tomorrow. You’ll never understand this. But tonight, you won’t try to. Because you’ll take this for what it is, for everything that it is.
You are connected to Hyunjin. You are drawn to him.
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Hyunjin wakes up and finds your side of the bed cold, empty. Which tugs a bit on his heart, but he knew this is what it would come to— being it was your last night, and the two of you lived on opposite ends of the world. He honestly didn’t mean to stay last night, but he couldn’t help himself after seeing how peacefully you were sleeping. He’s not sure he understands it well enough, but he still feels drawn to you; even now, as you board your plane and take your seat in business class. He finds a tiny note on the nightstand with your name and number, and he smiles to himself— making sure to keep the note safe.
Hyunjin keeps the note safe for awhile. Safe to the point where he doesn’t do much with it besides look at the number every now and then before tucking it back into his wallet. He can’t find the courage to text you, call you, because he’s not sure what is left of you two after that night. What would he do from Seoul? What would you do from California?
It’s unfortunate, and Hyunjin really hates it. He’s not sure when he’ll use this. And of course, over time, you’ve wondered what you did, or why Hyunjin didn’t make use of your number. Though, part of you understood where he was coming from. So, you eventually learn to let it be.
Maybe there wasn’t a use for it, for all of this. 
Maybe it was supposed to be a one-night thing, a memorable, one-night thing. A one-night thing that you keep for the memories, a one-night thing that you keep close to your heart– Hyunjin.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Hyunjin keeps the note safe for a while. Safe to the point where he doesn’t do much with it besides look at the number every now and then before tucking it back into his wallet.
Until months later, Hyunjin finds himself thinking about your note just as he steps onto the concrete floor and takes in the fresh air—
Eyes shifting to the California sunrise ahead of him.
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—perm taglist: @ppiri-bahng @jihanlovic @meloncremesoda @sweetlikecherry @asjkdk
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wardenparker · 5 months
Text
Next to Normal, part 2
Joel Miller x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst
Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 9k Warnings: Reader's age isn't pinpointed but you/she are old enough to remember the way the world worked before the Outbreak. Swearing, food. References to reader's past, trauma responses, Joel being the absolute softest and most gentle partner. Emotional vulnerability. Mutual nudity. Fingering. Hand job. Summary: In the months since you started your relationship with Joel, he has never pushed you for more. But Ellie thinks it's time to take the next step. Notes: As usual, I apologize for any typos that I might have missed. Ya girl is sleepy and there's a lot going on in life these days. This story was only going to be a one shot. And then it was juuuust going to be a two-parter. Well...this is part two of three. Stay tuned next week for the conclusion!
Read part 1 here!
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Ellie fidgets at the table, frowning at the plate of breakfast that Joel put in front of her. Not because she doesn’t want it, but because she’s thinking hard about how to approach her question. It seems straightforward to her, but she’s learned in the last several months that he is touchy when you are the subject of conversation. He’s always in protection mode when it comes to you. She picks up a piece of unevenly toasted bread and frowns at it like it’s offended her until her eyes track back to Joel. “Are you gonna ask her to live with us?” She asks finally, knowing she doesn’t have to clarify who she means.
Joel stops with his fork halfway to his mouth, his own eggs nearly falling off as he stares at Ellie. “Why? What do you— has she—” he stops and drops the fork. “Why?” He wonders if you’ve dropped hint or if this is just the girl’s curiosity.
“That’s…what you’re supposed to do right? Like…old people style courtship?” She doesn’t really know what adult dating entails except that Joel seems to be spending every second of free time with you, and she likes you. You’re fun to have around and a lot easier to talk to than Joel or Tommy about some of the shit that she’s dealing with. “She hasn’t said anything. I just wondered.”
“Sometimes.” Joel admits, picking up his fork again and looking back down at his plate. “What do you think about that?” He tries to keep it casual, in untested waters dealing with this. He had never really dated while Sarah was young, too busy trying to keep everything together.
“She’s nice.” Ellie says, as though it was the easiest thing in the world. “And…we can trust her. That’s a hell of a lot better than some other people in this town.” In general she likes Jackson, but people are people and not everyone is trustworthy. Ellie knows that better than most. “Would you, like…marry her? Like Tommy and Maria?”
“I don’t know if she would ever want to get married.” Joel hasn’t discussed any of your past with Ellie, so she might not be aware of some of your hangups. He’s not ever even mentioned marriage just in case it might have been one of them. Not like he was a wedding vows kind of man himself. “I would. If she wanted to.”
“But you’re not gonna ask.” Ellie nods vaguely, not quite understanding why anybody bothers to get married anymore anyway. It seems like one of those things that doesn’t make sense in this world. A relic. “So…” The only part of it that still matters is safety, and the emotion behind all of it. “She could be here with us all the time, and I’d pretend like I don’t hear you doing stuff and that’s it? Like…” Her eyes tick up to Joel’s with rivers of curiosity in them. “Like a family?”
Joel snorts, amused at that comment because beyond kissing, doing stuff hadn’t happened. “Kind of like that. If she did, she would have say over what happens here.” He cautions. “Another adult to ‘ruin your life’.” He had rolled his eyes and laughed the first time she had come out with that statement. A true measure of a teenager, even in the shithole state the world was in, Joel could ruin her life.
“She’s better at it than you,” Ellie announces immediately, tongue stuck out as far as it will go. She doesn’t want to admit that you’re the one she goes to for advice most often now. Not him, not Maria, and definitely not Tommy. She goes to you, and you always answer her honestly.
“Ruining your life?” He lifts a brow and hums. “Maybe I need to ask her for tips then.” He’s joking, but it’s nice to see that she has found a mother-like figure in you.
“She’s better at advice.” The teen clarifies, not wanting Joel to think you’ve done anything wrong. “I mean…I’m not gonna ask you about girl stuff.”
Joel snorts and shoots her a grin. “Why not? I love everything about women.”
“But you aren’t one.” The exaggerated roll of her eyes calls him an idiot and she huffs. “Whatever. You should ask your girlfriend to live with us. That’s all I was saying.”
“Yeah?” He hums and shrugs. “I’ll see what she thinks. She can sew here, she does often enough.”
“‘Kay.” She mumbles simply, as if she didn’t just suggest an enormous change to both of their lives as casually as commenting on the color of the sky. Ellie finishes her breakfast in three bites and pushes back from the table abruptly. “School,” she adds, before grabbing her supplies from the counter nearby.
Joel watches as she bolts out the door. Since it’s not a FEDRA school, Ellie has actually been enjoying going each day. Picking up his coffee, he shakes his head. It’s Chicory but it’s better than nothing. Expecting you in a few minutes, he finishes his breakfast in peace with your own plate still warm on the stove.
The soft knock at the door comes just minutes later, and you crack the door open to slip inside without letting any heat out. The typical place for your sewing is in a large canvas bag unless it's a delicate project, so you can move it between your house or Joel's without effort. All those years of making costumes by hand for plays and parties has truly paid off. "Joel?" The smell of breakfast is welcome and comforting, and you peak around the corner to find him sitting at the table. "I just passed Ellie on her way to school. Seemed like she was in a good mood."
He chuckles and stands up, ready to pour you a cup of the coffee that is still simmering in the percolator. “She should be.” He snorts. “Christmas is coming early, apparently.”
"Or very late, depending on how you view it." Now that spring is here and the winter is solidly behind you, Jackson is flourishing again. It seems to be affecting everyone, including Ellie. A soft murmur of thanks comes with accepting the cup of coffee he has made – Joel's is far better tasting than your attempts ever were – but you set it down on the table to step closer to him with a smile. "Good morning kiss?"
“Of course.” When you ask him for a kiss, or to hold you, he’s never turned you down. Nearly in disbelief that you are so affectionate despite the past years. He steps towards you slowly and bites his lip. “Can I hold onto your hips, beautiful girl?” Sometimes you want him to and other times you would rather he not, so he still asks where you want his hands.
"Yes, please." You're feeling brave today, maybe reinvigorated by the spring just like Ellie is, and you nod as you step closer to him so he can hold you close. Maybe it's the spring, or maybe it's months of Joel always calling you his beautiful girl finally starting to sink in. You never thought anyone could think of you that way ever again, but it seems so easy with him.
He hums softly, licking his lips and shuffling closer. You are the one who moves quickly when you feel like it, but he still treats you delicately. Not because he is afraid you will shatter, but because you deserve it.
His short hair is always the perfect place for your fingers, and your arms come up around his shoulders so you can play with the hairs on the back of his neck when he leans in. These morning moments are your favourite, if you're honest. The bright sunlight and birdsong make it seem like a romantic little cottage scene, and it makes you wish that you had had the courage in the colder months to suggest that he sleep over. Or that you sleep over his place. Even just to sleep side by side would be wonderful, but you try to be cognizant of not changing things too much on Ellie all at once.
His lips are much softer since he’s been kissing you. Not as dry. Tommy rags on him, making him roll his eyes, but he would never admit that he does put a little oil on them at night to keep them from chapping and cracking when it’s his turn to stand watch at the gates.
The domesticity of the whole thing is appealing in ways that harken back to the feeling of near normalcy that Joel gives you, and you’re smiling when you finally force yourself to lean back from kissing him. “Busy day? Or do I have you to myself until Ellie gets home?”
“Nahh.” He shakes his head. “Mud’s too thick to try to set more posts, so we are waiting for it to dry in the southern area of the community garden.” He tells you. “Since I had to pull watch last night, I’m off for the next day or so.”
“It wasn’t too bad, I hope?” Overnights are tough just for the sake of a sleep schedule, but you know Joel’s shift ended at dawn and it’s a fair few hours past that now. “Did you get a nap in?”
“Not yet.” He hadn’t wanted to sleep while you were over. Not when he could spend time with you. “I will when I get tired.” He promises.
“I would have waited until after lunch to come over.” You pout at him, rather viciously, but aren’t really upset. You just don’t want Joel tiring himself out for you.
“And I wouldn’t have slept then, either.” He grumbles at you and motions towards the stove. “Eaten yet? I made you a plate.”
“Thank you.” Though you couldn’t put a finger on when it became tradition to eat breakfast together, it has certainly become a mainstay. “I brought over a few things that I’m mending for Maria, so I have plenty of work to keep me busy.” Or not is the unspoken follow up. There are definitely days that you spend entirely wrapped up in Joel.
“That’s good.” Joel nods as he motions you towards the table and brings the still warm plate over with a small hiss when it burns one of his fingers. “It’s hot.”
“Careful!” Though how he can feel anything through those callouses on his hand, you just don’t know. “Don’t need you burning your fingers off over a plate of eggs.”
He rolls his eyes and sits down beside you with a groan. “Eat.” He tells you, pointing to the food. “Pretty sure you skipped dinner last night.”
“Not intentionally.” There had been a call for anyone available to come help out with chasing some escaped animals up on the pasture north of town last night and you had gone out to help without hesitation. “But thank you for looking out for me.”
“Of course I’m going to look after you.” He huffs off your thanks and sits back down with you, his own refreshed coffee in hand. “Ellie wanted me to talk to you about something.”
“Oh?” That has you stopping with your fork halfway to your mouth. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah…everything’s good.” He quickly reassures you, frowning because he hadn’t meant to worry you. He doesn’t like the scared look in your eyes, like you’re about to be punished for some imaginary wrong. “All good, I think.”
“Okay.” Dropping the tension from your shoulders is automatic — you didn’t even realize you had seized up until you were relaxing again. “What’s going on?”
“Not sayin’ we’re doin’ this, or that we gotta—” Joel reassures you to start with, knowing that you might not think that it’s a question. “But Ellie was asking me about the future, me and you.”
“We haven’t really talked about it.” For the simple reason that in this world, the future can never be determined. There’s usually no point in betting on a horse if you don’t know it will even finish the race, so a lot of people — you and Joel included — have chosen to remain undefined. Other people, people like Tommy and Maria, have held onto the old relationship conventions as a comfort in an ever changing world.
“No, we haven’t.” Joel admits. “But maybe we should. She – and me too – we were wonderin’ if maybe it’s not a bit silly that we’re trackin’ back and forth between your place and ours.”
“It’s not too much trouble, is it?” The ice cold fear in your heart is instant, and even though he had said that nothing was wrong, you can’t help the feeling of doomed certainty that the inevitable end has been reached in this otherwise happy arrangement. It was bound to come, sooner or later. Or, at least, you’ve feared that it would.
“No,” he can see that you’re still worried and he offers you his hand. Silently asking permission to hold yours and he squeezes yours gently when you slip onto into his. “We were thinkin’ that maybe you could just— live with us?” He ventures softly. “I wouldn’t— you don’t have to worry about me expectin’ anything more—” he promises quickly. “Maybe we could just, I don’t know, sleep in the same bed? If you don’t want that, I’ll sleep on the couch.”
“Joel…” It isn’t a great commendation of strength on your part that you start to tear up immediately, but it’s an honest reaction if there ever was one. You squeeze his hand tightly in yours for the half-second it takes you to move out of your chair and to his side. “Can I hug you? Please?”
“Of course you can.” The fact that you ask him is probably due to him asking you. Or needing to make sure you won’t get in trouble on some subconscious level, but he easily stands and holds his arms open.
The crush of how hard you push into his arms to hug him exactly as tightly as you can gets a small oof out of him, but his arms come around you just as securely. “I’ve been trying to think of how to bring it up for weeks,” you admit quietly, feeling silly about that now that he’s broken the topic himself. “About… sleeping together, I mean…”
“Oh.” He’s not sure if you mean sleeping together or sleeping together, but he doesn’t ask. “You should have said something, beautiful girl.” He murmurs quietly into your neck, enjoying the way that you curl into him.
“I wasn’t sure how.” Joel is the only person you’ve been able to be completely candid with about your fears and anxieties, and if anything it has only made him more protective. But really? You don’t mind that. “But I’m feeling braver.”
“Do you like the idea?” He asks softly. “I know you have your own space and are used to it, but we can share ours. Ellie loves the idea, so no teenage pushback.”
“I had considered asking you to move in to mine,” you admit, overwhelmed tears turning to happy in an instant. “But I didn’t want to displace Ellie.”
“If you want that, we can see what she thinks.” Joel immediately offers. “But I think our place is a little bigger. And yours is closer to everything.”
“Bigger is better.” You can agree to that right away. The room you could give Ellie in your own house is too small to be comfortable. “I don’t mind being a little further away from town if I get to be with you.”
“Yeah?” Joel smiles slightly at the comment and nods. “Okay. Well, we’ll get you moved over here as soon as you want.” He knows you will bring your supplies so he nods towards the little nook off the living room. “Thinkin’ that could be your little shop, unless you need more room?”
“I think it should work.” The little reading nook off of the living room has space for a chair and a desk, and even a small closet built into the wall of the house that has shelves for your supplies. “If you don’t mind sacrificing the space, I think it might actually be perfect.”
“Was thinkin’ I could make you some organizers for your cloth and threads and such.” He tells you, leaning into the idea. “The bookshelves would be good for that.”
“You’ll spoil me if you do that.” It sounds wonderful, and you prop your chin on his chest to look up at him. “But I’ll spoil you with cooking if you let me.”
“I’ll get working on them today.” He promises with a grin. His cooking is okay, but yours is amazing.
“And I’ll make us a celebratory supper.” It’s the least you can do, really, but the smile on your face is bright and wide.
“Yeah?” He grins at the idea and nods. “Do you wanna start moving stuff over? I can get Tommy to help.”
“That would be a heck of a surprise for Ellie.” And you laugh a little at the idea, enjoying the ease of it. “Leave for school just having posed the question, and come home from school to find me moved in.”
“Up to you.” Joel chuckles. “She likes the idea of a family.” He wants you to know that, that the girl wants you here with them.
"I know she isn't technically either of ours." You shrug slightly, not wanting to specifically bring up the children that both you and Joel have lost. "But sometimes it feels like it."
“We worry enough about her. Annoy her enough.” He frowns slightly. “Sometimes family isn’t always blood, but the people you wish were blood.”
"Family can be the people that you adopt along the way. Or the people who adopt you. It works both ways." The two of you sit back down again, hands twined together at the table as you slowly work your way through the modest breakfast that Joel made you. "After this I'll go back to my house and pack some things up while you go see if Tommy is able to help?"
“Sounds good.” He clears his throat and bites his lip. “I don’t expect you to do any more than we’ve established you’re good with.” He reminds you quietly. “I’m gonna knock before coming into the bedroom. In case you’re, uh, changing or something.”
"I can change in the bathroom," you assure him, putting down your fork to concentrate on the far more important conversation at hand. "Or...maybe it's time we crossed that bridge. Maybe not all the way to the other side, but...we could put off a little of the moving to have...private time? Before Ellie comes home from school?" Reminding yourself that you have been feeling braver lately is the key. Joel has proven endlessly that you are safe with him, and never once given you reason to doubt it.
“Is that what you want?” Joel asks seriously. He doesn’t want you to think you have to push yourself into something you aren’t ready for because of where you will sleep at night.
"I want it, and I want to be ready for that step." Wanting is the key. Or at least you hope it is. "And I hope I know you well enough to think that you won't be upset if we reach a point that I'm not comfortable with."
“You just say the word and I’ll stop, beautiful girl.” Joel can easily promise you that. “If that’s what you’re wanting, then I guess you better finish your breakfast.”
As nerve wracking as taking that next step is, you do want to. Letting fear rule your life helps no one, and reclaiming your own strength through large and small steps is something that Joel has really helped you with. Nothing says that today has to be the day that you throw off every worry, but as you finish your breakfast you do feel absolutely certain that the decision to put one proverbial foot in front of the other and move toward intimacy with the man you’ve genuinely fallen in love with.
He lets you think about it quietly, taking his own plate and coffee cup over to the sink to start on the dishes. Knowing that despite what you might say, you could change your mind before you even finish your meal. That's okay with him. He's never pushed you, even when he's straining under his jeans and has to take himself in hand when he gets home after leaving you. He would still never push, not with something like this.
He doesn’t let you do your own dishes when you’re done eating, but he never does. Joel has deeply ingrained caretaking tendencies even if he doesn’t like to admit it. “We should…go upstairs,” you murmur, leaning against the kitchen counter beside him. “It’s more comfortable than the couch.”
Joel watches you for a moment and then nodes carefully. “We can. Do you— uh, want me to give you a minute?” He asks, unsure of what you want and how far you want this to go. “Let you…get ready?”
“I’d rather have you next to me.” His presence is, after all, what makes you feel safest. For this next step you’ll need that more than ever.
“Okay.” Reaching out, he offers you his hand with a reassuring nod. “You are in charge here.” He reminds you.
“I don’t really have any expectations for this except that we’ll lay in bed together and have some privacy.” But you can now fully admit that you hope to have the courage for more. “Let’s just…start there and see what happens?”
“That sounds good to me.” He guides you towards the stairs and lets go of your hand so he can let you go up in front of him. “We’ll take it nice and slow.”
The last time you were this nervous about being in a bad with a boyfriend was probably losing your virginity in high school, but there is a hell of a lot more emotional weight involved this morning than there was then. Joel means more to you than any of the others ever did, and that just makes you want this to go well even more. At the top of the stairs he’s beside you again and you slip your hand into his.
The walk to the bedroom doesn’t take long, the door open and his bed still rumpled. He’s never been a make the bed kind of guy and he bites his lip a little sheepishly. “Didn’t think you’d be up here.” He admits with a rueful grin. “Would have at least tossed the comforter over everything.”
“I like it better knowing the real you.” Your hand in his slips around his waist to keep him close.
Joel hums and walks towards it and then pauses a few feet from it. “Do you want to lay down with me, beautiful girl?”
“I feel like I should at least take my sweater off first.” The t-shirt you have on underneath it is typically worn but comfortable, and you find that today stripping off your warm sweater feels like taking off a lot more clothes than it really is.
Joel takes off his boots, but he leaves everything else on. It’s just a t-shirt and a flannel with his jeans. “Make sure you’re comfortable. What side of the bed do you like?” He’s a middle of the bed sleeper, so wherever you want is fine with him. He’ll adjust.
“The left, usually.” Being boxed in doesn’t feel particularly good to you, for obvious reasons. That doesn’t matter right now though, and you take off your own boots to leave to the side with Joel’s, socks stuffed neatly inside. “Is that okay?”
“Perfect.” He nods and motions to the bed. “Test it out. See if you like yours better.” If you do, he will drag that damn thing down here.
You won’t, you know that, but getting into Joel’s bed with him is a surprisingly emotional moment. Without any extra preamble — only because you’re restraining yourself from babbling out of nerves — you slide under the rumpled covers and inhale a breath of the scent that is purely his. It’s infinitely relaxing, and you close your eyes for a second to revel in how right it feels. Fear has made you think it might be awkward, but no. You’re supposed to be next to Joel. This is where you belong.
Joel is slightly tense beside you. Not wanting to jostle you too much, but he clears his throat. “I’m going to put my arm behind your head. Is that okay?”
“Let’s…” looking between you, you know that Joel asks about every single action to be courteous. To be cautious, even. And while you don’t mind being delicate to him, this might be a chance to start moving past some of that hesitance. For you, too. “Let’s just say we’re going to get comfortable?” You suggest. “Asking about every single movement…it’s going to make this harder than it needs to be. So…it’s okay with me that you touch wherever you need to while we figure this out. This…how to be comfortable together.”
He huffs out a small laugh at himself and nods. “If you don’t like something, you tell me, you got me?” He tells you, raising his brows seriously. “This bed, it’s gonna be your refuge, not your prison.”
“Okay.” Nodding, you slide closer to him under the blanket and move your arm so he can slide his under your pillow if he wants to. “I’m sorry if this is awkward…”
“You’ve got nothin’ to be sorry about.” Joel chides softly, used to hearing that when you want to pull back. “We’re just getting comfortable, that’s all.” His hand settles on your arm and he strokes his fingers over your skin lightly. “We got all the time in the world.”
Shifting even closer, you tuck yourself into his side and sigh at the bulk of him. It really is something primal in the way it relaxes you, having that broad frame of his nearby but never threatening. Sliding your arm around his waist is easy like this, and you press yourself into him comfortably. “Kinda wish I’d gotten brave enough for this ages ago,” you admit quietly.
“It’s okay, beautiful girl.” He promises, slowly sliding his hand up and down your back as you start to slowly cover half his body with your own. He pauses for just a moment before his hand ventures very sedately past the small of your back and over the swell of your butt. Giving you time to tell him no if you wanted.
Instead of hesitating it actually makes you grin, the slow and careful way that he reaches forward. Feeling admittedly cheeky, you shift your hips to wiggle your ass under his tentative fingers and end up smiling again. "It's okay, handsome," you assure him, giving him the permission that he's silently seeking. "Go ahead."
Joel groans and cups your ass firmly. “You have a great ass.” He growls softly. “Thought so from the beginning.”
"The beginning, huh?" It's something of a relief to find out that Joel was just as interested in you as you were in him early on. The first time he'd admitted it, you had literally sighed. There was a breath then, like there is now, that you didn't realize you had been holding. "I'm glad you like it."
He smirks slightly and moves to caress your ass like he had your back. “When you’re feelin’ up to it, my lips are lonely.” He teases, puckering them slightly.
It's small, and it's teasing, but it lifts so much of the tension in the room that you actually laugh and move in a little more with eagerness. If there's one undeniable truth about Joel Miller it's that he's a fantastic kisser, and you're not one to give that up when it's being offered. Especially not right now. Not when your time alone with him is both assured and indulgent.
Your lips aren’t hesitant this time. They are sure and still curved into a smile when you press them to his. Making his own laugh into your mouth that much sweeter. He wanted this to light, there’s so much heaviness in your lives, this should be as light as it can. Especially with your past. Taking the moment for the simplicity that it is.
There's something different about the taste of him this morning, like kissing Joel is somehow sweeter for the pure and simple reason that you're in bed together and nothing else. Your hand creeps up his arm and around his shoulder so your fingers can find their way into his hair, and the bubbly, joyous feeling in your chest bubbles over when you summon the courage to be the one to run your tongue along his lower lip in an open mouthed kiss. It's probably bolder than you've ever done before but the rightness of this feeling just can't be overstated.
Humming in surprise, Joel settles back slightly and lets you take charge of your kiss. Waiting to see if you would slide your tongue into his mouth or if you will leave it at just opened mouth to breath into each other. His hand squeezes your ass gently, encouraging you to do whatever you want and immediately goes back to caressing like it had before.
His hand feels huge like this, but not in an overwhelming way. In a way that makes you feel precious and...unexpectedly...a little worshipped. Up here in this bedroom nothing can hurt you, and that is another step forward in this sort of emboldening feeling that is brewing inside you. It's that burst of boldness that has you pushing into his side just a little bit more, tongue sliding into his mouth to relearn that part of him that you have explored only a handful of times before.
Joel grunts, his cock twitching and starting to harden in his pants, but he ignores it. Focusing on you as he continues to kiss you and caress you. Enjoying how you are unfurling for him.
The heat that rolls off of him in waves is intoxicating, making your head swim like it does whenever the two of you let the urge take over. It isn’t often, but it’s always good, and this morning feels even better.
The kisses are slow, languid. Pretending that time doesn't exist and every breath shared between you is suspended. He feels the way you are slowly starting to grinding on him, his thigh between yours.
Shallow, short, panting breaths are all the two of you can manage. Some gulps of air and soft, muffled moans. The floods your mind and your instincts and for the first time in over a year pleasure is what overtakes every thought, not fear.
He watches you, your eyes closed and your finger tight in his hair. Not because you are afraid, but because you are wanting more. He groans into your mouth and his hands settle on your hips, encouraging you to move if you want to with a small nudge.
It's like your mind has gone blank of everything except him, and the bliss of it is that you finally can let it go blank. The only thing you even need to know about in the world is Joel, and he is right here beside you. Half underneath you, technically. He not only wants you here with him but is actively devouring you at the same rate you are devouring him, and the freedom is nearly electric. Rocking hips have a mind of their own, and it really does take longer than you're proud of to realize that you're evening doing it. Catching yourself, you barely manage to pull back and force yourself to look Joel in the eyes through hazy vision. "Is...I didn't ask...if it's okay?"
“It’s always okay, beautiful girl.” Joel’s voice is rough, lust filled. “Whatever you want, you just do it to me.”
“I—I don’t really know what I want,” you admit, trying to catch your breathe and keep your entire body from setting on fire in his arms, but not succeeding very well. “Except…more.”
“You could let me— unbutton you jeans?” He asks as he nudges his nose against your pulse. “Use my fingers to make you feel good?”
It would be a lie to claim you hadn’t imagined what it would feel like. That you hadn’t actually dreamt about how pleasurable time with Joel would play out. While this isn’t quite like any of the scenarios you had dreamt up, it is real and it is happening right now, and you nod fiercely before pushing in again to kiss him with every ounce of courage built up inside you.
He knows this is a big step for you and he doesn’t rush it. Kissing you back while he slowly pulls his hand around your back to the front of your jeans. Pausing for a second to wait for any protest before he flicks the button open and leisurely pulls down your zipper.
He gets no protests at all, but a deep sigh bordering a moan that comes out of you with that deceptively small act of opening your pants. Your free hand slides just under the hem of his shirt, hot skin burning your fingers at first contact but only in the very best way.
“Tell me if you don’t like something,” he reminds you softly when his fingers first dip below the threadbare elastic band of your panties. “Only want you to feel good.”
Any flash of discomfort, even a small one, is too much and you lean back to find Joel’s dark eyes watching you. “Let me just take them off?” You ask quietly, not wanting to verbalize the fact that the fight pull of fabric against your skin hits a memory you don’t want to relive. As exposing as it is, naked is better.
“Whatever you want.” His hand eases out of your panties and he lays back, showing you that he’s not going to keep on.
“I want you.” The clarification is important, even as you slip off your jeans and underwear, letting them fall off the side of the bed in irrelevance. Shirt and bra are next, and even the act of shedding your own clothing — making your own choice to do this — frees another layer of fear from your shoulders. “I don’t want fear to be in the way of I can help it.”
“Do you want me to strip down?” Joel asks, wondering if you won’t like him being clothed and you naked. “How do you want me, beautiful girl?”
“How ever you’re comfortable.” Just because you stripped down does not mean that he has to. The state of your relation as always been respect and not reciprocity.
He decides that he wants to strip down too. He knows he’s not going to do anything that will make him cum, but if you’re going to live here, you should be comfortable with him.
It definitely more than you ever expected to happen today, but as Joel sheds his clothes beside you, there’s also a sense of peace in it. Reclaiming intimacy — not even sex, just intimacy and closeness — is like relieving an enormous burden that you aren’t ever sure could be lifted.
When he reaches the tired, worn out boxer briefs he is wearing, the outline of his hard cock clearly showing, he hesitates. “Would you like me to leave these on?”
A fair question, and though you hesitate for a moment, you decide firmly on, “No.” This decision to move forward together is too important to you, and it’s not as if you aren’t attracted to him. You have eyes, after all. “If you’re okay with it, I…I want to see you. Maybe…touch you?”
He groans quietly, nodding as he hooks his fingers into the band. “You can touch me wherever you want.” He promises.
He has never protested once about waiting for you to be ready. Never pressed and never pushed. Now you only hope that you won’t disappoint him when you’re actually ready to take the next step. “You can touch me, too.”
“My daddy was never good for much.” Joel starts as he slides his hands down, bringing the boxers with him. Grunting as he bends over to steps out of them. “But he taught me something that’s stuck with me.” Standing up, he looks you in your eyes. “It was about holdin’ a gun, but I guess it’s the same with holdin’ a woman.” He tells you. “Hold her like you love her. Slow and gentle, steady. That’s what I aim to do with you.”
“I—I do love you.” He wasn’t trying to get you to say it, or even saying it himself, but sitting up in his bed with a blanket around you instead of clothes…if you can’t say it now, then when can you? “You don’t have to…to say it back or anything. I just—it felt like the right time to say.”
You are sitting down, but he steps closer to you and kneels down, not wanting to tower over you to intimidate. “Baby, you should know that I— I love you.” He murmurs quietly, reaching for your hand. “Everything about you.”
"Get back in bed, Joel." Even with one of his big hands holding on to both of yours, you tug at him slightly to urge him to join you. "I...I really want to be close to you right now."
“Okay.” He groans again as he gets to his feet. “Fuckin’ knees.” He complains quietly. “Too fuckin’ old.”
“No more grand romantic gestures that involve kneeling,” you tease, pulling back the blanket so he can climb in beside you.
“Don’t worry about that.” He chuckles as he slides into the bed. “Probably the cold, but it’s been actin’ up.”
“Still.” Your arms are open to him this time, reminding yourself that there’s no need to hide. “I like you in one piece.”
This time, he is the one that is curling up to you, making sure he doesn’t seem to hover over you just in case. His cock is against your hip and he leans in to kiss you again. “You have me.”
To have it put for you so easily — that he’s yours are much as you are his — makes so much difference. It’s freeing instead of entrapping. Love rather than possession. It makes you melt into his kiss, hands grasping for him rather than being tentative about their touch. Not exactly greedy, but definitely no longer afraid.
It’s almost too easy, the way you eagerly fall into his kiss again. Your determination shining through and his hand lands on your hip again, warm and seeking. “Spread your legs, beautiful girl.” He murmurs against your lips.
It isn’t an order, but an urging that you happily agree to. Laying back on his pillows and letting him come that much closer to you, urging him to lean over your body. It isn’t looming, like he’s afraid it could be. Instead it feels like protection.
He starts at your shoulder, hands deciding they want to touch every inch of skin you will allow him. Lips kissing your chin, your jaw, just behind your ear. “So beautiful for me.” He rasps out. “So soft.”
Joel is full of endless praises, and you’ve caught yourself sometimes wondering if that’s something he does just for you or if it’s an old habit of his that goes back to the time before. It doesn’t truly make a difference, but you’ve wondered. The feeling of his hands everywhere on you could get overwhelming — or you fear that it could — but it’s just Joel. It’s the man who only makes you feel safe and protected and appreciated, and you sink down into the mattress with a sigh when his hand moves down from your shoulder. “Only for you,” you gasp out, his lips pressing the sensitive spot on your next just below your ear.
When his hand cups your breast, he doesn’t squeeze. It’s more of a massage, a gentle caress and he rubs your nipple with his thumb. “That’s my good girl.” He hums. There’s been plenty of times that you’ve gone over phrases or nicknames that might trigger you, so he’s confident that you won’t react negatively.
“Joel.” Things that seemed silly years ago aren’t so silly to you now, and the cooing softness of Joel’s usually deep, rough voice is so soothing as his work-calloused hands slide over your skin. Your far hand is tangled in the blanket as he leans over you, but the other anchors you to him instead. It explores the parts of his body you haven’t touched before — trim waist and strong thighs instead of the soft stomach and broad shoulders that you know so well. “Joel. Joel.” His name is a chant on your lips, growing shallower and lighter each time.
“That’s it.” He encourages, continuing to play with your breast until he feels your thighs press together and shift, wanting friction. “Gonna take care of you.”
It’s a promise, one you want to drown yourself in as much as you want to drown in kissing him. Deciding that you can only really do one of those things, you surge upward to press an open mouthed kiss to his lips, inviting him to devour you, too.
His hand has to nudge your thighs open again after his palm skims over your belly. Caressing it softly and he would say something, but reminding you of your past wouldn’t be right for this moment. Instead, his fingers comb through the soft curls covering you, gently working through them to slick skin underneath.
The deep sigh that emanates from you is almost revolutionary, and for the first time in longer than you care to remember, your eyes slip shut in pleasure to focus solely on the feeling of Joel’s hands on your body. Forgetting where you end and he begins was a seemingly impossible task not so long ago, but now you moan softly and shift your legs open for him even wider like a flower opening up for the sun.
“Fuck, you’re doing so good for me.” He moans, cock twitching at your surrender to the pleasure and he loves that you aren’t tensing up. His fingers slide through your folds, gathering the wetness and he starts a slow figure eight around your sex. Curling your entrance and coming back up to slide around your clit through your lips. “Feel good, beautiful girl?”
“So good.” It’s unbelievable just how good but this is part of Joel’s magic. He can just make everything else fade away. Your hips tilt up and you sigh again, sinking further into the mattress. “More, honey? Please?”
“You want my fingers inside you, beautiful girl?” He asks as he kisses down your throat. His mouth waters at the thought of suckling at your tits and he looks up at you to make sure you’re still on the same page. ‘More’ could mean just more of his rubbing your clit.
“Yes. God, please.” Nodding almost frantically, the hand that you had had tangled in his blanket comes up to grasp his shoulder and hold him close so you can kiss him endlessly.
He wants to chuckle at how desperate you sound but he just hums softly. Aware that you are actually starting to enjoy yourself. His fingers make another trip around your clit and this time, he doesn’t circle your entrance, just slowly starts to press, feeling you start to yield.
The soft moan he gets from you almost immediately makes him shiver, but you’re lost to it. Every sensation in your body has narrowed down to Joel’s touch and pushed every other thought out of your mind. Maybe he is that good with his hands or maybe it’s just how much you love him, or maybe it’s both. No matter what it is, it’s floating away with you on a cloud.
Your body doesn’t resist, you aren’t pushing him away. If anything, your hips are rolling down to meet his touch. He groans your name and nuzzles your breast with his cheek, his nose, before he finally wraps his lips around the stiff peak.
That extra burst of sensation makes you moan out loud, back arching off the bed and fingers digging into Joel’s arm to keep him from reeling back or second guessing himself. Close Is where you want him and you’re going to keep him there.
He hisses in pleasure against your breast, drunk on the sight of your eyes closed and lips parted so perfectly as you moan again. He doesn’t stop, just slowly curling his fingers up inside you to search for that pleasure spot.
Each time you moan for him is like a revelation all your own. Your body is doing all of its own talking now, rolling like waves in the ocean and pulled toward Joel’s own body like a magnet. The pull between you is so strong that when he finds your g-spot you keen and moan out his name loud enough that anyone in the house could have easily heard, but you’re too wrapped up in him to care or notice.
“That’s it, beautiful girl? That’s your spot?” He pulls off your breast long enough to crow about finding that place before he is suckling again, his fingers concentrating on that small spot just to hear you keen again.
“I—fuck—yes!” If he had asked if you even have a spot you would have said no, but he’s found it with seemingly no effort whatsoever. Like his intuitive ability to read your body language for emotions, he can read it for your pleasure as well. There’s no doubt in your mind that he could probably pluck you like an instrument of he wanted to but right now all he wants is to hear your pleasure so you do not hold back. The shock of being so vocal is one thing, but for Joel? For Joel you would repeat your yeses and moans and chants of his name for the whole world to hear.
He listens to you, feels you. Wanting to make sure that no old ghosts come between you and your goal. He moans, cock twitching and throbbing against your thigh as he continues to focus on you, ignoring his body’s demands for your own.
It might surprise him even more than it does you, when you reach for him. Your other hand had settled on his hip and was surely squeezing imprints into his flesh, but pleasure has so much taken over your mind that the slide of your hand from his hip to wrapping your fingers experimentally around the thickness of his cock makes both of you gasp.
His eyes close and he can’t help the experimental rock of his hips before he pulls himself back. Reminding himself that he needs to focus on his task.
“It’s okay.” Murmured just as soon as you turn your head, you open your eyes and place lingering kisses on Joel’s jaw. “I want to. Please?”
“Whatever you want.” Joel promises you, his dark eyes on you and alight with passion. “Just let me know what you want.”
“I want to make you feel good, too.” It is the shared aspect of the experience that makes all the difference. That one of you isn’t taking everything from the other, but that you’re sharing the moment together. That’s what makes it an act of passion and love rather than just a sexual encounter. And for you? That makes all the difference.
“You are, beautiful girl.” He promises, his fingers slick and making the most beautiful sounds as they move in and out of you.
As the pair of you devolve back into moans and sighs of each other’s names, the coil of pleasure that tightens in your belly is unmistakable. The experimental strokes of your hand wrapped around his length become surer, pace quickening, your whole body rocketing toward your own end and wanting to take him with you despite knowing that it probably isn’t going to happen that fast. It’s the haze of actual, beautiful, loving pleasure that’s settled over you like a blanket, and it’s what you want more than anything.
“That’s it, sweetheart.” Joel is moaning his encouragement and huffing against your breast. “You’re so fuckin’ pretty when you’re on the edge. You gonna cum for me?”
It’s possible you’ve entirely forgotten how to speak with how close you are, and your eyes slip closed again when you nod almost frantically. The moan from your lips is half his name and half incoherent begging, asking for the release that is so literally right at his fingertips. That only he can give you and that you hope past hoping that you can give to him too with each stroke of your fist.
He smirks, “yeah, you are.” He coos, his voice heavy with lust. “You’re gonna cum all in my hand for me.” He can feel the way your body is tensing under him, ready for the perfect moment to break apart in bliss. “My beautiful girl’s gonna cum.”
It is as much permission as you could look for, and your body seems to know it. The bow and bend in your back sharpen as the sound is strangled from your throat, cutting off his name with a desperate cry as you fall apart for his hand.
There’s something breathtaking about the way you cry out. Body quaking and trembling, not in fear, but in rapture.
The world stands still for those few moments. There is nothing at all except bliss, and the bulk of Joel's broad body above you, and the way he twitches in your hand seeming to run in perfect sync with the spasms of your own body as you come down from the clouds.
Joel doesn’t rush you, drawing it out with the slower curl of his fingers than before, kissing up your body before capturing your moans for him greedily with his mouth. Wanting to keep them for himself as he enjoys your orgasm with you.
“Joel.” It’s more of a whisper than a cry this time, when you finally open your eyes to look at him. “Tell me what you want?”
“Touch me.” He begs. “However you want. I want you to just touch me.”
Your hand had fallen away from him to make sure you didn’t squeeze too hard and accidentally hurt him at the peak or your own orgasm. Now you touch your fingers between your thighs to wet them with your own slick and wrap your hand around his cock again, feeling it twitch with the pressure and friction. Every stroke builds on the last, wanting him to feel every bit as good as you do right now.
Your touch, this time so much more sure of itself, makes his eyes fall close and his body rolls onto his back. Your own follows him so you are draped over him like a perfectly warm blanket. “Fuck, fuck, you are so— so fucking perfect.” He moans quietly. “So fuckin’ pretty.”
Praise is absolutely not lost on you, and every murmur and moan makes you work that much harder. Learning what works for him and what doesn’t isn’t difficult when Joel is so vocal, and before too long his hips are stuttering as he tries to chase the rhythm of your hand.
A shudder runs through his body, unsure if he would ever have you touch him like this. Panting as he curls his toes and his stomach tightens. “Gonna cum.” He warns you roughly.
“Show me.” You keep the pace of your movements and the same pressure with your hand and watch every movement in his body. “Let me see you, honey.”
He grunts, nodding seriously and his eyes flutter open again to focus on you. “Love you.” He knows you adoring hearing the words and he’s worked on being more vocal with you. It hadn’t helped him with Tess, he regretted not vocalizing his feelings before she died and he wouldn’t make that mistake again.
“I love you too, Joel.” And what a hell of a morning for it to be said for the first few times. You’ll never forget a single thing about any of it. Especially not the blissful relaxation on his face just half a second after every muscle in his body tenses, that moment of explosive pleasure washing over him in an enormous wave.
In the last year, orgasms had been necessary. Functional. Something to be dealt with quickly when the need came over him. Often hurried and moved on from, but from the way you keep stroking his cock and cooing after he starts to cum, he knows you have every intention of drawing this out for him. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.”
The splatter over his stomach and down your hand is a beautiful sight, one that you take in greedily before laying back beside him in bed. “I love you,” you murmur again, letting yourself sigh and bask in the moment.
Joel pants, nodding as he tries to catch his breath. “Hope to hell you do.” He chuckles. “Holy shit.”
“I do.” And it rests gently in your chest like a bird happily resting from its flight. “So much.”
He reaches for you, wrapping his arm around your back and he starts to stroke it idly. “How was that, beautiful girl? Was it worth the risk?” He knows it’s cost you to expose yourself again, mentally and physically. So he doesn’t want you to regret it.
“I’ve never been safer than I am with you.” Of that, you are completely certain. And you’ve never been more certain than you are in this moment.
______
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