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caspira-writes-fanfiction · 3 days

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Finding Family (Fizz's Found Family) Chapter 4-pt. 4

First Steps

(tw: panic attack)

It took Fizzarolli nearly six weeks to get the go-ahead from his doctors to try the new limbs out. He hadn’t even bothered to schedule with Ozzie after getting the clearance, he hired a car to take him to Lust immediately. He’d listened to Asmodeus, he’d rested and done everything his doctors said and it was slow.

Fizzarolli sat in Asmodeus’s waiting room, this time in his wheelchair and not on one of the sofas. He was prepared to wait all day if he had to, he’d wait through all of Asmodeus’s meetings. He’d stay here overnight if necessary, but he knew Ozzie wouldn’t make him do that.

Asmodeus made him wait much less than that. When he was informed that Fizzarolli was at his office waiting for him, he cleared his schedule for the rest of the day. Both of them had been anxiously awaiting this day.

“Fizzarolli!” Asmodeus’s voice was pure excitement and Fizzarolli’s heart began to pick up speed.

“Asmodeus!” If he could have sprung out of his seat he would have, but the electricity in his voice was enough to convey the message. Hopefully by the end of the day he would be able to do more to convey his point.

The Sin came from down the hallway, his pace quickening when he saw the other. He hadn’t visited Fizz in Sloth, but he had made sure that he was taken care of. He knew Mammon wasn’t going to, and having a speedy recovery was crucial for Fizzarolli’s success. Time was limited, and Fizz needed all the time he could get to become acclimated to his new limbs. He was hoping today would be the day they first got to try.

“Please tell me you come with good news.” Asmodeus shrank himself in size so that he was closer to Fizz’s eye height as he approached the other.

“Doc just cleared me to try them! I hired a car to take me straight here.” Fizzarolli must have really been excited, to spend money upfront to get himself here. Asmodeus took note to make sure that bill was taken care of. He understood, he was excited too.

“I have them waiting upstairs.” Asmodeus watched Fizzarolli carefully. He had the compulsion to help him, to push his chair for him but he knew better than that. Fizzarolli was far too independent. His tail was already starting to push him towards the elevator. Asmodeus followed closely behind.

Fizzarolli let Asmodeus pick him up once they were in the workroom and Asmodeus was his regular size again. Ozzie placed Fizzarolli on the edge of his workbench where the other had become accustomed to inhabiting. In the corner of the office, Fizzarolli could see the arms and legs sitting in what Fizz assumed were charging ports.

“How are you feeling?” Asmodeus made sure to check in with Fizzarolli. He hadn’t seen him in nearly two months. He wouldn’t quite admit that he had been worried about Fizzarolli, but the way that his chest lightened after seeing the other demon made it hard to ignore.

“How am I feeling? Fucking excited, Ozzie. What kind of question was that?” Of course it was more complicated than that. Excitement is just the easiest one to admit to and the hardest one to ignore right now. Today was the day there was no room for fear or anger or anything else today.

“How was your recovery?” Asmodeus clarified. “Did you get the items I sent?” That was a stupid question, he realized. Fizzarolli was wearing one of the shirts he had sent him: light blue and satin with large black buttons down the front and slits along the shoulders for his arms, once he got those. He had only ever seen Fizzarolli in his Mammon approved clown clothes before, and while Fizzarolli still wore the red and white ruffle that was part of his work uniform, he was happy to see that Fizz had been using the other items. Lust knew that recovery was going to be difficult, he wanted to make sure Fizzarolli could be as comfortable as possible.

“Boring, Sir. And yes. Thank you for the puzzle books, I liked the crosswords.”

“Asmodeus” Lust corrected. He’d told Fizzarolli to be less formal months ago. He did like the way that Fizz said Sir…

“Asmodeus” Fizzarolli repeated, his tail tapping against the counter top. “Not to be impatient but can we please?” He eyed the limbs in the corner, his tail curling up behind him and pointing towards the same thing.

Ozzie sighed and nodded. “Alright, alright. Can I see how the ports are doing?” He’d been getting regular picture updates from Belphagor but had yet to see them in person and wanted to make sure everything was good to go.

Fizzarolli swallowed thickly and nodded. Of course Asmodeus would have to see, but Fizz didn’t want to look. He didn’t like the look of healing flesh, it would be a while before he truly felt comfortable looking at those parts of himself. One deep breath. The doctors had literally cleaned them this morning and he was fine.

Asmodeus’s touch was gentle. Fizzarolli had forgotten that. He closed his eyes while Asmodeus carefully opened the slits along each side of the so that he could see one arm, then the next. He did the same with the legs afterwards. Fizzarolli kept his eyes closed throughout most of it, and if it wasn’t for his occasional peaking, there were times he wondered if Ozzie was even touching him.

“You’re doing great” Asmodeus could pick up on the anxiety, but Fizzarolli really was doing very well. Ozzie did his best to be both quick and gentle for him. Once Asmodeus had looked at each limb, he took a step back and smiled down at Fizzarolli. “Are you ready to try a leg?”

There was that childlike wonder again. Asmodeus loved that smile. He turned to the wall and grabbed both legs before returning to the work bench. They were smooth metal and fully articulated. Asmodeus had them labeled so that the heart logo of his brand was on the inside of each leg, a subtle extra hint to help remember which leg was which.

Asmodeus, continuing to be as gentle as possible, slid a sock over each of Fizz’s stumps and double checked with him that he was comfortable and ready.

“Put it on! Put it on! Put it on! Legs! Legs! Legs!” Fizz chanted. He was more than ready. Asmodeus chuckled lightly and proceeded.

Fizzarolli’s leg fit almost seamlessly into the port. A magnetic sensor at the base of the port was triggered and blue light colored the heart logo. Asmodeus did the same to the second leg. Fizz felt electric. More so than just excited would allow, he actually felt a buzzing throughout him, as if he were conducting a current throughout him. It was a strange feeling, he wondered if this was how it would feel all the time.

Asmodeus noticed a shift in Fizzarolli. Tinged with concern, Asmodeus paused before going to grab the arms. “How is your head?”

“Never had any complaints before” Fizzarolli couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make the joke. Asmodeus paused then shook his head, but Fizzarolli could see that he was amused. He liked getting to know the other, trying to push his buttons, see what he responded too. He was a much more receptive audience than Mammon was, and kinder than Barb or any of his other circus/theme park friends.

“I read in your files that you were having migraines the first few weeks” Asmodeus redirected.

“I had brain surgery, Your Sinliness. That’s to be expected, isn’t it?”

“Ozzie” Asmodeus corrected, though Your Sinliness was amusing.

Fizzarolli sighed. “Ozzie.” Asmodeus nodded in thanks and turned again. Fizzarolli thought that he was going to be grabbing his arms now so they could really get this going, but instead he pulled out the huge stack of papers that Fizzarolli now knew were his medical files. Why he had those, much less paper copies he had no idea, but he didn’t mind. He figured Asmodeus needed them to an extent in order to properly make the machinery that were about to be his freedom. That didn’t stop him from groaning in frustration when Ozzie started flipping through is records instead of putting his fucking arms on

“Have you had any recently?” Fine, they’re doing this. He supposed it was only fair, Asmodeus likely had a reason for asking.

“I get about one a month standard.” Asmodeus looked at him but didn’t say anything, urging him to continue on. “Had one about a week ago. Not bad enough to keep me from working, but only because they gave me the good headache pills. Before that…..maybe about another week? Can’t say once a week is too bad.”

“You’re working?!” The surge of blue flames scared Fizzarolli and made him flinch. For a moment he wondered if they would swallow him whole. He hadn’t meant to upset the Sin, and he was really trying not to get caught in the crossfire.

“J-Just one day a week, Sir. Sitting on a stool, guessing people’s weight and making jokes.” Fizzarolli knew that he’d said something wrong, he knew he wasn’t really supposed to be working. He didn’t want to loose his apartment though and if he didn’t have some sort of credit towards his debt he’d be at risk of losing that. He could still observe and joke, it’s not like he was able to do much of anything else.

Asmodeus noticed the way Fizzarolli’s tail wrapped around him protectively and his weight shifted away from him as he lost his temper. The raging flames were quenched just as quickly as they grew and Asmodeus cleared his throat in apology. Regret was a feeling Asmodeus knew, but the accompanying shame was harder to swallow. That was no way for a ruler in hell to act. He had been threatening to Fizzarolli, even though he hadn’t meant to be. He could only imagine what his flames had brought back for the demon.

“My apologies” Asmodeus made a note in his files and turned back towards the wall to grab Fizzarolli’s arms.

The arms were much different than the legs. Asmodeus had taken Fizzarolli’s comment about a back brace to heart and had done his best to make the whole ensemble something that could be adaptable to Fizz’s daily needs as well. Both arms attached and locked into a port in Fizzarolli’s shoulder. There was an option, should he want or need, to connect extra power to the limbs in the form of a battery pack structured to help support Fizzarolli’s back in the ways he’d outlined in their previous meetings. He’d show Fizz that part later. Much like the legs, a sensor in the arms connected and Fizzarolli could feel more static energy buzzing through him, waiting to be used. The heart logo for the arms were on Fizzarolli’s hands, they lit up blue shortly after the extra static entered his brain.

“How are you feeling?” Asmodeus studied Fizzarolli carefully, reading for signs of pain or discomfort.

“Buzzing?” Fizzarolli asked. He looked down at his hand and focused really hard on it. He could feel it resting against the flesh of his leg but he couldn’t quite feel the hand as its own appendage yet. Similar to the rest of his limbs, they were….slightly less than dead weight.

Asmodeus opened one of the drawers from his workbench and pulled out something Fizzarolli hadn’t expected. A heart shaped patch? It was a simple blue, and firm. Fizzarolli could see that it wasn’t fabric like his horns were, but it was a piece of technology that Asmodeus was inspecting. Fizzarolli did his best to calm his heart and stay still as Asmodeus returned and got rather close to him.

“I almost forgot about this” His voice was light, amused. It helped Fizzarolli relax a little, but only momentarily. The demon king lifted the little blue heart up to Fizzarolli’s head. Fizz couldn’t help but flinch back

“Don’t fucking touch me.” He’d been trusting with Asmodeus when it came to his limbs, he had to be, but nobody got near his horns without permission. Nobody touched the hat. Even Asmodeus, who had been nothing but helpful and respectful so far. Especially Asmodeus. Fizzarolli didn’t want to loose Asmodeus’s respect, he wouldn’t let him see his horns.

Asmodeus held up his hands to show he meant no threat. He made sure to keep a safe distance so Fizz didn’t feel crowded. “This is for your hat.”

“You don’t touch my fucking hat!”

Asmodeus sighed. Again, he’d gone too fast for Fizzarolli. They’d done all of the conceptualization together, Fizzarolli knew how most of this was going to work, he hadn’t thought that this would be a surprise. He hadn’t considered how sensitive Fizzarolli would be about his horns.

“I won’t take it off. This is to go over it. The sensor, should hopefully clear up some of that buzzing.”

Oh, right. The honing beacon in all of this. The most important piece in the whole fiasco. The bit that would take all of the code stored in the robotic limbs and translate it, somehow, to brainwaves. Synapses were just little bits of electricity, right? Somehow, this little blue heart was supposed to be the key to linking thought to movement. Fizzarolli hadn’t realized it would be a separate piece, he assumed that’s what had been put in his skull a month and a half ago. He sighed and leaned forward, allowing Asmodeus to put it in place.

It held fine on its own, its grip was solid. It did not glow like his limbs did, but Fizzarolli knew it was working when the static buzzing through him cleared and his leg swung out and kicked King Asmodeus square in the balls without Fizzarolli having any control in the matter.

Fizzarolli’s eyes went wide as the sin doubled over in pain and tried to collect himself. “Oh, fuck. Asmodeus, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t-I wasn’t trying to...” Fizzarolli’s arm moved out towards the other. This time, it was because that’s what he wanted it to. Concern still lingered, but amusement overshadowed that for a moment. Fizz concentrated hard and slowly, he flexed his fingers in his right hand, then his left. He could move his feet, and he already knew the knee worked.

Lust needed a few moments to gain his composure. The kick had been strong. At least that meant that they worked! When Asmodeus stood back up, he couldn’t help but watch as Fizzarolli excitedly watched as he moved his arms and legs.

“How are you feeling?” he asked once more time. Fizzarolli’s attention broke and his eyes went wide as he remembered what he’d just done.

“How are you feeling? You just took a metal shin to the crotch.”

Asmodeus chuckled.

“Don’t remind me. But I’m fine. Is the sensor helping?”

“Oh, oh yeah.” Fizzarolli was caught off guard by how easily Asmodeus turned the subject back to him in a way that makes it hard for him not to comply. His body is still electric, but this time it’s anxious to move. He can not wait to see what these limbs can do. Fizzarolli concentrates very hard on his hand and manages a weak thumbs up for a few seconds. Both of them smile at the progress.

“And your head is-” Ozzie stopped himself from walking into that one again. “You’re not in any pain?”

“No more than the usual amount.” Asmodeus frowned, but accepted the reply. He moved forward, though to the side of Fizzarolli this time and held out a finger in front of Fizzarolli’s hand.

“Squeeze”

Fizzarolli’s tongue stuck out as he concentrated on the task. It definitely took effort, maybe he’d gone a bit fast at first, but after a few seconds of just thinking the fingers began to curl up and around the sin’s finger. He could only hold the grip for a few seconds before his concentration broke and the hand lay flat against the back of the table. Asmodeus’s hand moved to Fizzarolli’s other side. Fizz was quick to do the same, but that hand tired much quicker.

“Easy now” Asmodeus chided. “You can take a break in-between if you’re tired.”

But Fizzarolli was never one to stay still and he’d just had six weeks of rest. Now he had hands that could move and legs that could kick. Asmodeus clearly didn’t understand how little Fizzarolli could put this to rest. He had just made half of his dreams come true, now he was on a time crunch to reach the other. Mammon’s pageant was in eight months.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Try me again.” Fizzarolli put on a big show of making it look like he was putting his all in, like this was the arm wrestling championship of a life time and not a gauge of his grip strength. He was trying to get another laugh out of Asmodeus, and to hide the fact that this was actually really fucking hard.

He wondered if eight months was enough time to be good enough.

One deep breath. “Let’s try walking.”

“Are you sure?” Asmodeus could tell that squeezing was a lot, he worried that walking might push Fizzarolli too far. But Fizzarolli didn’t give him an opportunity to question him for too long. With a deep breath and reckless determination, Fizzarolli curled himself forward into a ball, then with a strong push of his tail sprung backwards and onto the work table. He didn’t quite get the air or have the coordination to land on his feet, so he ended up sprawled out face first on the work table.

“Are you alright?” Ozzie was compelled to reach out and help Fizzarolli up but Fizzarolli hissed when he tried, forcing his hand back.

“I’m FINE!” Fizzarolli took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes.

If you can dream it, you can make it happen. You can do anything you set your mind to.

It’s the motto he’d lived by for as long as he can remember. All he had to do was set his mind to it. One more deep breath.

Tail pointed in the air, Fizzarolli slowly worked at getting his hands into the right place. The shoulder joint didn’t really work how it used to, and Fizzarolli was brand new to the software. It took him a lifetime to get to a position where he could try to push himself up. He hissed at Ozzie half a dozen times just for the concerned look his three faces were giving him.

Set your mind to it. Fizzarolli thought of walking again. He thought of juggling, and balloon animals, he thought of winning that pageant. He thought of proving the world wrong, and what winning would feel like. His arms connected with the counter top, he took a deep breath and he pushed. He rose one inch, then another, then another. He got as tall as his arms would go, time to use his legs how. Fizzarolli pushed himself from his spot, nearly making it to his balance, but stumbling without enough momentum. Fizzarolli closed his eyes, ready to fall back onto the counter top. He was surprised to be caught by the much warmer, softer hand of Asmodeus.

“Walking and standing are two different skills” Asmodeus reminded the other gently. He could see the sweat starting to form along Fizzarolli’s forehead. It was obvious there was no stopping him or telling him what to do right now, but Asmodeus hoped that he could coax Fizz into a little bit of help.

The surprise had jarred him. Hitting something earlier than he expected was disorienting enough that he didn’t really hear what Ozzie said. Or rather, he heard the words but not the tone. They’re two different skills. You put your whole mind on this one and it failed. What if you put your whole mind into this and it still isn’t good enough?

“I’ve got this” Fizz hissed. Breathe, Fizzarolli. Push yourself up and show them what you’re worth. His arms shook, but he managed to get himself upright. One foot in front of the other. You’ve re-learned how to walk once. You can do it again. Fizzarolli could feel his heart racing, his chest tighten. This was the moment. You have to do this, Fizzy. You have to do this.

He tried to take one deep breath, but that was too hard, it took too much time. Focus. His right leg lifted, not enough to make much of a step, but enough that Fizzarolli knew he could shift his weight and balance well enough on his left to shuffle the leg forward. That counted as a step.

The room was silent. Keep going. You have to keep going. He was exhausted, he felt like a marionette doll, the only thing keeping him up was a thin string of pure will. one more step. He repeated the previous motions, but in mirror order. His right side wasn’t as strong, it wasn’t positioned as solidly as he’d thought. He started to slip. Think harder! But his leg slipped from under him and Fizzarolli fell sideways.

Fuck! The marionette had collapsed. Tears started to flood his vision. No. No no no. Stop it, Fizzarolli. You are not crying right now, not in front of a fucking King. Fucking stop! He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood but even that didn’t help bring him back like it usually did.

“Fizzy?”

What are you planning to do, Fizzy? You want to fuck him? He can’t breathe. You’re a fucking freak, Mate. He was going to be stuck with Mammon forever. What if he never learned to walk? He was running out of time! I’m going to compete every year until this shitty body gives out on me! What if it was already too late? If he’d done all of this to fail? He was going to die in LooLoo Land. There wasn’t enough left to save. You couldn’t afford that He wasn’t worth that. His best days were over. He wasn’t worth better ones. He wasn’t enough.You’re going to have to be better than just funny, mate. A lot you’re going to have to learn. Now go on out there and make me some money, you cunt!. He couldn’t do this. Oh my Satan, shut the fuck up! I’m out of here. Fuck you, and fuck your nagging, Fizz, you’re not my mother. If you need something tonight, call your fucking sugar daddy!He wasn’t enough. He wasn’t enough, He wasn’t enough.

“Hey….breathe” The voice was cool and even. It cut through the noise in Fizzarolli’s mind. Asmodeus was next to him but not too close. He didn’t want Fizzarolli to feel crowded

Having something cut through the noise was stilling enough that the idea of breathing didn’t feel entirely unreasonable anymore. Fizzarolli did his best, he ended up coughing instead. Fuck, Fizz. You can’t even fucking breathe right.

“Good.” What? Fizzarolli is stilled for a second time with the cool grace Asmodeus’s voice lends him. It was enough for Fizzarolli to wipe his eyes on his shoulder and look up at the sin. Asmodeus was looking at him with calm patience. Ram and Bull were both modeling deep breathing techniques. Asmodeus’s hand was on the table, palm up, a few feet away from Fizzarolli. Fizz’s tail wrapped around Oz’s wrist. Only Asmodeus noticed. Only Asmodeus felt the flutter in his chest when Fizzarolli did.

Asmodeus’s held his other hand out to Fizzarolli, asking if he could take Fizz’s hand in his own. Fizz didn’t speak but he nodded and allowed Asmodeus to take his hand with the same gentle consideration he’d always shown. His hand was guided up to Asmodeus’s chest, the sin’s hand covering Fizzarolli’s so that his hand was pressed against the feathers.

“Can you feel that?” the gravelly laugh that was his reply made both of them feel a bit better. Asmodeus kept Fizzarolli’s hand on his chest and kept his breaths steady and slow. It gave Fizzarolli something to focus on, multiple somethings. The two of them sat in silence like that until Fizzarolli’s breathing was no longer shaky.

“It’s just pressure plates, but…..yes.” Fizz finally replied. Asmodeus smiled three times over.

“How are you feeling?”

“How many times are you going to ask that today?” Guilt bred defensiveness, but Fizzarolli didn’t need to be guilty. Asmodeus didn’t want him to feel guilty. Today was bound to be a lot, and Fizzarolli went charging into it head first.

“As many times as I need to” Fizz’s tail loosened from Asmodeus’s wrist and drew closer to his body, wrapping around his body protectively.

“I’m sorry, for….that.” Fizzarolli didn’t want to know what he looked like right now. He felt like shit.

Asmodeus studied Fizzarolli for several moments. He looked exhausted, and defeated. Asmodeus worried that if he kept pushing himself like this, he’d make himself sick, burn himself out. He wondered if Fizzarolli had been eating right, he worried about his sleep.

“Do you want to talk about it?” When Fizzarolli looked down at the floor and didn’t respond, Asmodeus changed his approach. “Have you eaten today?”

Slowly, Fizzarolli began to ease his gaze back upwards. “….I could eat.”

The table was already set when they made it down to Asmodeus’s office to eat. Chips with four different types of salsa, guacamole, and queso sat beside finger sandwiches and mini weenies wrapped in dough. A large martini glass with shrimps and sauce towered over the cut up fruits, pita chips, and hummus below. Opposite that sat grilled cheese bites with small cups of tomato soup to dip them in. And most gloriously of all, a double bacon cheeseburger sat in front of Fizzarolli’s seat.

“You remembered my order” Fizzarolli had allowed Asmodeus to wheel him down with the promise that as few of his staff as possible were poking around the halls when they did so.

“Most of it. Dessert will be here later if you’re still hungry.” Asmodeus made sure that everything offered was something Fizzarolli could eat by either trying to use his new limbs or by relying on his tail, which he’d become much more accustomed to in the recent years. The detail did not go unnoticed by Fizzarolli.

Fizzarolli largely relied on his tail to eat half a dozen shrimp, chips with every type of dipping sauce (including the shrimp cocktail sauce), a few fruit pieces, and a large helping of just hummus before he slowed. He’d approached the meal exhausted, and was now edging on food-coma tired.

“You really should charge me.”

Asmodeus cocked his head to the side in confusion. Were they really going to do this today? “For what?”

“Disrupting your day, personal physical damage, therapy, this.” Asmodeus had started in on chips and something Fizzarolli had requested called cowboy caviar but he set his bowl down to give his full attention to Fizzarolli.

“Today has been a lot.”

Fizzarolli nodded, his mind elsewhere in space. Today had been a lot. He didn’t want the King of Lust to see him cry again, so Fizz busied himself with grilled cheese bites. He was feeling a bit more energized now that he’d had the chance to eat something, though he ways in which he’d overexerted himself were also settling and making themselves known. When he didn’t respond to Ozzie, the sin sighed. “Can I ask...the last time you learned to walk, did you make it across the room on the first try?” Fizzarolli snorted.

“I could barely stand with someone holding onto me the first time I was put in those shitty old things.” Asmodeus let that statement weigh in silence. Fizzarolli got his point, he’d done a lot today. He’d also brought up another point he could counter with.

“Occupational and Physical Therapy.”

“What?” The way Fizzarolli could dance around conversations was entertaining, Asmodeus had yet to figure out the ways in which that mind thought. He found himself rather inspired to.

“To add to my bill for today. Occupational, Physical, and” Fizzarolli shivered “Emotional Therapy…..Personal damages, disruption to your schedule, this buffet. Are you going to insist I take a car home? That’s another charge.” Asmodeus understood his point. While he didn’t agree with it, he could feel Fizzarolli getting more and more upset. He was delicate today, Asmodeus didn’t want to disrupt him anymore.

The twinge of pain that flashed across Fizzarolli’s face as he tried reaching for the mini weenies was distraction enough for Asmodeus to change the subject. “Can I get you anything?”

The streak of concern in Asmodeus’s voice was enough to still Fizzarolli’s fears for the moment. It forced him to take pause and acknowledge the budding migraine, sore joints and stubs, and tension building in his muscles. There is no shame in asking for help,, he reminded himself, especially when he is offering. And he seems genuine.

“The bag behind me…I need one orange octopus, one all seeing eye……...and two pink hearts?”

Asmodeus has no idea what Fizzarolli meant by all of that, but he stood up dutifully and moved to search through the bag attached to the back of Fizzarolli’s wheelchair. It didn’t take long for Asmodeus to find what Fizz had been asking for. Three pill bottles, nearly identical except for the words on their labels. Each of their lids had a different image scribbled on the top. Orange octopus looked like a muscle relaxer, the all seeing eye (which was blue by the way) was for migraines, and the pink hearts were…..Bellphagor’s personally branded happy pills. Asmodeus dutifully unscrewed the caps and measured out the concoction Fizzarolli had requested. When everything was back in his bag and sorted, Asmodeus moved to sit beside Fizzarolli and offer the pills out to him in his hand.

Fizzarolli’s tongue slithered to the king’s hand and wrapped around his pills. His tail took his bottle of water and brought it up to his mouth to take a drink. Fizz didn’t miss the way Asmodeus shivered as his tongue brushed against the other’s hand. Barb did the same thing, she hated the feeling, called him a slimy creep many times for it. Usually, though, with love. Fizzarolli’s chest tightened anyway.

“Sorry. That probably felt weird. Thank you though.”

Asmodeus can still feel the sense of shame weighing Fizzarolli down. He understood that was common to feel for a while after panic attacks, Fizzarolli’s brain was still looking for threats but there were none here.

“What? Oh. The tongue thing? A shiver is just a reaction to a sensation…...I never said it was a bad one.” Both of them felt something when Asmodeus caught Fizzarolli’s eyes that caused both of them to look away. Fizzarolli’s chest was still tight, but in a different way now.

Do you want to fuck him, Fizzy? He hated that Mammon’s voice is the one interrupting this thoughts. He hated that the question is coming up again, that it’s coming up now. He hated that he thinks he could even consider the question, as if he would ever have a chance with someone as ancient and infamous as Lust himself. Fizzarolli can’t think about this anymore.

“Medication management. Add that to the tab.” Fizzarolli joked, just as easily pushing his feelings back down. “You really do it all, don’t you?”

Asmodeus felt Fizzarolli’s guilt, but he also felt some of his own. Fizz had a big day today. He knew that it would be emotional. Still, Ozzie felt responsible for making sure that Fizzarolli felt safe and comfortable while in his domain. Asmodeus took a deep breath as he returned to his seat opposite the jester.

“If it will make you feel better to receive a bill from me……” The words felt bitter on his mouth, but he was still certain he could find a way to make this work in Fizzarolli’s favor. “I’ll consider it.”

Fizzarolli let down some of his guard at that confession. He wasn’t sure if he was more comforted by the fact that Ozzie agreed to consider his position or that he seemed distressed at the idea of charging him. He gave a warm smile to the sin sitting across from him, tired but genuine.

“Thank you, Oz.”

Fizzarolli leaned forward, looked at the hamburger that had been flirting with him for the past fifteen minutes, grabbed it, and took a bite. He ignored the overly excited dance Ram and Bull were doing as they watched Fizzarolli use his limbs for the first time since the workshop. And to have done it so smoothly!

Fizzarolli noticed the grease dripping from the hamburger dripping down his shiny hew limbs. He stuck his tongue out and licked down his forearm. “Hey Oz…..you did make these waterproof, right?”

#fizzmodeus #fizzarozzie #fizzarolli #asmodeus #ao3 link in title #ao3writer #ao3 fanfic #helluva boss fanfic #fizzmodeus fanfic #tw panic attack #fizzarolli has ptsd #hurt/comfort #found family fizziverse

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12-toads-in-a-trench-coat · 8 months

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glix it (genloss fix it)

today i recieved this comment:

I AM SO GLAD THEY PICKED UP ON THAT SKHFSDJKHGKJS I LOVE IT WHEN PPL PICK UP ON THE SUBTLE THINGS

#generation loss #genloss #generationloss #writer #fanfiction #ao3 #ao3 writer #ao3writer

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acourtofladydeath · 7 months

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The way I ran to this inbox!!!!!!!!!!!!! Given our recent discussion...I'd love to see some angsty feytamsand with a happy ending!!! Maybe forced proximity trope thrown in there? 💗

OK THIS IS VERY EXCITING.

Was I initially shooting for 500 words? Yes. Did I immediately know it would be 1K but still want it to be under that? Yes. Is it? noO. But that's okay! This is the first in what I hope will be a series of exercises where I learn to write and achieve my story goal in less words. In the end, I just had to take my hands off the keyboard and go with it in the spirit of the drabble exercise!

I sort of forgot about the forced proximity part of the request...but it's definitely angsty and leads to a HEA! I sincerely hope you enjoy "Live, and Be Happy." What is the first of what I think will be many polycule ACOTAR fics I write.

TW: mention of slight self harm

Read here on AO3 or under the cut!

A loud crash sounded through the main hall of the river house as Lucien burst through the doors, coat askew and breathing heavily.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Rhysand jumped from the couch where he lounged next to Feyre, who sat up and immediately asked, “is he okay?”

Lucien stood hunched and disheveled, sorrow in his eyes as he looked between the mated pair before him. When he’d caught his breath enough to speak he could only get out a few words, “he’s not well,” before they were both heading out the door, brushing past him carelessly.

“How was he when you last saw him?” Feyre asked as she rushed to keep up with her mate's frantic longer legs.

“Not bad enough to worry you.”

Feyre scoffed, pacing past him to turn and face him, stopping Rhysand in his tracks. “That was not the deal, Rhysand. We agreed you could go see him in person without me until he felt ready if, and only if, he was okay in the meantime.” She stared down his violet eyes, unyielding in her anger and fear.

Rhysand had continued to visit the Spring Court in hopes of helping Tamlin rekindle his control. They hadn’t counted on it rekindling other things as well. After one particularly long visit, Rhys had explained his former relationship with Tamlin before they’d become high lords.

After Rhys revealed their former, and newly sparked feelings, Feyre had started writing back and forth with the male she’d once hoped would become her mate, and was surprised to find her own feelings for him returning as well. Tamlin it seemed was happy to love them both, but his depression and the trauma he’d been dealt and never dealt with had taken its toll.

Rhysand’s violet gaze was full of emotion, pain for the male they both had grown to love again, fear for his condition, conviction to protect Tamlin, and shame from deceiving the female they both loved so deeply. Eventually, he bent under the solid will of Feyre’s stare, dropping his head toward the ground between them.

“Take me to him” she said, a statement with no room for question, as she held her hand out to grab his own. Rhys quickly winnowed them to the place in Spring he knew Tamlin would be.

Tamlin’s struggle with his own monsters had been going on much longer than he’d wanted to admit, and when he’d finally started opening up to Rhys about it after that one solstice, it was like a damn broke, drowning him thoroughly. Today had been worse than most. He and Lucien had been discussing how the courts were still healing from the Hybern War and Amarantha’s reign under the mountain, when he’d suddenly been triggered by a particularly bad bout of memories.

Unable to stop himself, he’d transformed into his beast, attempting to punish himself for being the cause of so much suffering. His friends, his courts, the other courts, and worst of all the suffering of the two people he held closest to his heart.

When Feyre and Rhysand arrived, he was huddled on the floor of the cabin he ran off to to be alone, away from the prying eyes of his court. Both arms wrapped around his head and knees tightly as if he could hold himself together while his claws pierced into his skin, drawing thin streams of blood that flowed down his bare skin. He’d managed to stop harming himself most of the time, but still couldn't stop this one action to hurt both to punish his wrongs and to remind himself he was still alive.

In the doorway, Feyre let out a soft sound somewhere between a gasp and a sigh, her tattooed hand rising to stifle the noise as she looked up on Tamlin for the first time in years. Rhysand moved forward slowly, his focus solely on the male before him. “Tam, it’s me,” he said as he slid onto his knees in front of the broken person in front of him, taking his tortured face between both his hands.

As Rhys tried to tilt Tamlin’s face up toward his, he felt the male recoil away. Placing their voices together, Rhys spoke in a soft voice cracked with emotion. “Please don’t hide from me. I’m not scared of you. We want to help, Tamlin. Please let us help.”

With that word, Tamlin looked up, his dulled eyes currently a deep, pained green. With a voice harsh and hoarse from what Rhys was sure had been hours of screaming, Tamlin spoke, “we? I thought Lucien left?”

Feyre had slowly walked into the cabin as Rhysand steadied her first love, until she was not standing a few paces away as she spoke. “He did, but he didn’t abandon you Tamlin. He came to get us, to get me.” Slowly, Tamlin turned to face her. Rhys’s hands still steadied him, one caressing his jaw tenderly, while the other softly ran across the spots Tamlin had punctured his shoulder.

Unable to stay away any longer Feyre rushed forward the last steps, dropping to her knees and wrapping her arms delicately, yet firmly around his neck. After a long moment, Tamlin spoke, his face buried in her neck. “Why are you here…why would you bother to care for me, Feyre…after everything I did.”

Feyre pulled back, one hand caressing Tamlin’s chin as the other reached to cover Rhys’s hand still rubbing the sore marks on his shoulder. “We are both here Tamlin, because we see you. Because we’ve been where you are, and you deserve someone in your corner as you work through this.”

Tamlin seemed to scoff at that, as if he either believed he didn’t deserve to heal, or was incapable. “That doesn’t explain why you are here, either of you.” As he said the second part of the statement, Tamlin looked between the High Lord and Lady of the Night Court, sensing the cooling mist of Rhys’s magic that always seemed to calm him.

“We’re here because we love you, Tamlin.” Rhys’s smooth and soothing words hanging in the air between the three of them. Feyre spoke then, adding to her mate’s words, “both of us. You deserve to be loved.”

Using her hand to tilt Tamlin’s chin up to meet her gaze. “Do you remember what you told me, after you brought Rhys back? You told me to be happy. You deserve to be happy too, Tamlin.”

Rhysand’s one hand rested on his mate’s back while she held Tamlin’s gaze, his other gently holding Tamlin’s neck, thumb brushing against his jaw softly, in the way he’d often done so long ago. “Let us help you come back, teach you to be happy again. The three of us.”

Tamlin closed his eyes, a tear softly falling and being wiped away before it tracked too far. And for the first time since his father died, Tamlin truly felt like it was true, like he could learn to be happy. The three of them together could bring him back to life.

#LDdrabbles #i mean idk if you can count 1.2K as a drabble #BUT I'M GONNA #polycule #feytamsand #angst #hea #feyre archeron #rhysand #tamlin #night court #spring court #acotar #acowar #acotar fanfic #myfic #mywork #ao3fic #ao3writer

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bluegrasssax · 9 months

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I thought I'd give an intro to me and the fics I've written (Merlin x Arthur, E, AO3). I started late 2021 after I found writing helped me through _stuff_

This is in the order I wrote my stories, my thoughts, what I liked about it and what I wish I'd done better.

For most of the fics I started with a canon character trait for each of Merlin and Arthur that I carried through the story (that they either both come to embrace or overcome), I find this works well in keeping to the og character vibe

(No major spoilers)

1. A Fall We Can't Forget

Character archetypes: lost Merlin, naive Arthur

My likes: I love opportunities to be open about feelings without the pressure of consequences, hence dreams. I loved writing Merlin's Druid dream, and that Arthur could appreciate him without fear that way.

Even better if: This was my first fic and I definitely made some classic blunders! I feel I rushed things, and there were many other dream sequences I wish I'd managed to sneak in!

2. Wingless

Character archetypes: guilty Merlin, protective Arthur

My likes: Wings. I mean, come on! That's just cool! I'm honoured someone took the time to make art following reading the fic, it warmed my heart <3

Even better if: Again, I think I rushed into the reveal. I'd have liked better pacing especially in the last few chapters.

3. Parchments

Character archetypes: denial Merlin, self sacrificing Arthur

My likes: similar to the dreams, an opportunity to talk without repercussion. I liked this version of Gwen a lot, and I'm a huge fan of Samhain midnight shenanigans. Also poor Gaius. Sorry man.

Even better if: this is one of my shorter ones. I think it would have been neat to have an Arthur POV through to explain some of his actions too. Alas. Maybe a sequel.

4. Take Your Pain Away

Character archetypes: self sacrificing Merlin, dutiful Arthur

My likes: oh boy this one was a labour of love. I love soulmates, and I thought the dynamic of one person knowing way before the other way good in this case. The added layer of pain transference was for flavour and it snowballed on me lol, but in a good way I think.

Even better if: honestly, I have the fewest Gripes about this one, though I wish I'd taken a bit of a different route with Edith. There could have been more bullshit with that, but maybe it was angsty enough already.

5. Dead To Me

Character archetypes: powerful/unfortunate Merlin, growing Arthur

My likes: actually my favourite story of the lot I think, just because it's a different flavour of "destiny" than I'd considered before. It was a fun challenge to develop intimacy with no physical contact!

Even better if: I liked what I did with Gaius, but I know it wasn't necessarily a popular characterisation of the poor bloke - so if done again I'd like to have made his motivations clearer.

6. Passing Through

Character archetypes: innocent Merlin, whimsical Arthur

My likes: it was nice to have the "love at first sight" sort of vibe with this one, even though I tend to be more of an enemy to lovers fan myself! Merlin's magic felt so natural in this one and I'm really chuffed with how it came out. He is a part of magic as much as it is a part of him, and so it's no wonder it's overwhelming sometimes.

Even better if: I initially planned a bigger blow up with the Arthur reveal, but it didn't quite fit. Maybe in another life. This one could have handled a bit more smut imo.

7. The Satyr and The Prince

Character archetypes: outsider Merlin, conflicted Arthur

My likes: I'm a big fan of body horror - and while this is no xenomorph situation it was interesting to play with a tiny bit of gore. I'm proud of the inner conflict Arthur had, and I hope it came across well.

Even better if: as with most of my fics it seems, I feel I rushed it a bit. My initial plan was more drawn out, more angst (somehow), but I got impatient! Also, didn't get the chance to include any sex! It just didn't fit in naturally without seeking forced :/

Now?

And my current fic is on going, so I won't comment just yet on it. Only know that archetypes revolve around Wonderlust Merlin and Awed Arthur

If you've read any of these I'd love your honest feed back on it - this is a hobby I really enjoy, and I'd like to keep on it for a bit longer!

Also, let me know how this Tumblr thing works, I'm floundering lads XD

#ao3writer #merlin fanfic #merthur #merthur fanfic #ao3fic #ao3 fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic authors #ao3 author #bbc merlin

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viveriveniversumvivusvici5 · 6 months

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Chapters: 4/? Fandom: The Batman (Movie 2022) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bruce Wayne/Reader, Bruce Wayne & Reader Characters: Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Jason Todd Additional Tags: Self-Insert, Reader Insert, Gender Neutral Pronouns, Secret Identity, Secrets, Awkward Flirting, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Post-The Batman (Movie 2022), Coffee Shops, Slow Burn, Bruce Wayne Typical Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Bruce Wayne Has Issues, DC Comics References, Extreme slow burn, Gratuitous DC Comics Cameos, Child Neglect Series: Part 2 of Crashed Summary:

You’re not sure which point to address first. That there’s a billionaire in your coffee shop, that there’s a billionaire in your coffee shop at 2am, or how you know that jawline.

Or how there is space in an apartment and coffee shop booth for Bruce Wayne and Batman at the same time.

——

A long-awaited chapter is now up!

#and I went up in flames #batman #battinson #ao3 #ao3writer #ao3 update #batman 2022

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indigosunsetao3 · 3 months

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Keeping Lines Blurry

Chapter 3 - London Bound

Masterlist of Chapters

Warnings: 18+ - No minors Please read the tags on A03 for any of your triggers

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick X Original FMC 8k words - AO3 Link

Olivia stayed in bed long after the sun had come up, sleeping in had become a habit for her particularly in the past few months. She was always so tired and had a hard time finding the motivation to get up every day. It wasn’t unusual for her to roll out from between the sheets at until almost lunchtime, especially when Henry wasn’t home. There was no one around to tell her to get up, no expectations and the house staff didn’t bother her if the bedroom door was shut. She at least had a viable excuse today; she had been up thanks to Henry until almost four and while he was up at eight am he didn’t bother her.

Exhaustion was weighing heavily on her and she hurt in places that weren’t just her feet as she shifted in bed. With a groan Olivia rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, her mind playing back everything that had happened the night before. It hadn’t stopped really. She had laid in the dark and cried silently long past after Henry’s soft snores filled the room replaying everything and as soon as she woke up it was as if someone hit play in her brain again. She felt disgusting and needed another shower but the motivation just wasn’t there. Her stomach grumbled for food she didn’t want to drink and a headache was forming behind her eyes that she knew would linger if she didn’t take something for it.

“Miss?” A voice from behind the bedroom door in the suite came. They knocked a few times before calling out to her again a little more urgently. “I’m sorry to bother you, but you need to get up,” the man said and Olivia recognized the voice as Andrew, one of Henry’s aides.

“I’m awake,” Olivia answered begrudgingly as she scooted to sit up in bed. “That doesn’t mean come in!” She added quickly as the doorhandle jiggled and she heard the latch click as if it were going to open. Grabbing the sheets, she pulled them up to her neck to cover her still naked form as she stared at the door which didn’t stop opening, swinging inward toward the room.

“Get dressed,” Henry said as he swept into the room, donned in a suit as he added a cufflink to one of his sleeves. He didn’t seem to care that he had left the door wide open to the rest of the suite where people were working and a red-faced Andrew stood next to the jamb. “Something presentable, we have to make a statement,” he continued, turning around to look at Olivia with an impatient expression since she hadn’t risen and instead had shrunk down further into the pillows to hide herself. “Liv,” he stated impatiently.

“Shut the fucking door,” Olivia snarled as she glared at Henry before back to Andrew who seemed frozen in place. He was Henry’s lapdog, always on his heels, and he usually would have come right in behind his boss but he seemed to realize what Henry didn’t. Or Henry just didn’t care. “I can’t get up,” she added as Henry sighed before waving to Andrew to shut it, which he did quickly. “You can’t just barge in here like that unannounced. It’s lucky I was still in bed,” Olivia spat but she still didn’t get out of bed. “Give me my robe,” she pointed to the discarded item still in the same spot on the floor as the night before.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Henry stated before walking over to the bed and ripping the blankets off Olivia’s body and grabbing her by the arm to yank her up and out. “I’m your husband and you slept next to me naked all night, I think you can get out of bed,” he reasoned smirking a bit. “This wouldn’t be an issue if you would just get up like a normal person. Now hurry up,” he gestured to the closet. “Something dark and reserved,” he instructed as he went to the mirror to adjust his tie.

Olivia didn’t bother fighting him as he all but dragged her out of bed, it was just easier and she was too exhausted to put up a true fight. She needed to pick and choose her battles and this one just wasn’t worth it; she did need to get up anyway. Hissing at her feet, twisting her legs this way and that to get a look at them she took a few ginger steps toward the closet, pausing at the drawers to grab undergarments which she pulled on quickly. Some sort of barrier against her leering husbands’ eyes were needed, she could feel him watching her in the reflection.

“Why the sudden rush for a statement now? Surely, they already spoke to the undersecretary and heard from parliament and everyone else,” Olivia stated as she sorted through items in her closet, musing over an outfit and shoes to match that wouldn’t hurt her feet any more. All of these clothes cost more money than her four-year university education and this was just her travel wardrobe. It was a useless degree now since Henry wouldn’t let her work, yet her parents were still paying off the loan because Henry refused to take care of it. His reasoning was it wasn’t ‘his problem’ since she had the debt before they were married, even if he could pay it off without thinking twice. “Are you that important?” She asked sarcastically as she pulled out a simple dark grey cap sleeved dress that she could wear heelless ankle boots.

“It’ll be a bit hard for Philip to talk right now,” Henry answered as he came over to the closet to look at her choice before giving a small nod of approval. “Considering his throat was slashed in the middle of the night,” he continued before reaching around her to the safe in the closet and entering the code to pop open the door. “Him, his wife, kids and whole staff were murdered last night,” Henry finished explaining as he pulled out a simple diamond necklace and handed it to Olivia to add to her outfit before grabbing his own tie clip to match. He seemed totally unbothered and disconnected as he clipped his tie and smoothed out the silk.

“What?” Olivia gasped, feeling as if the world had tilted on its axis. Henry was so incredibly calm about this news, so unphased and unworried she thought he was kidding. “What do you mean they were murdered last night? When? How?” She asked as she turned to watch his back retreat into the ensuite bathroom to go fix his hair. “Henry what does this mean?” Olivia asked as she followed him with her dress draped over her arm.

“I already told you when and how. Though, I suppose, it was more this morning versus last night. They think it was about four or five am based on how the bodies looked,” Henry answered as he wet a comb in the sink before using it to slick back his hair. His movements were methodical as he moved and he barely spared Olivia a glance as he spoke. “It means that whoever attacked the gala last night didn’t get what they wanted and they are still trying to do whatever they set out to get done,” he explained simply. “If you had risen like an ordinary person, you would have seen already. It is all over the news,” he tapped the comb on the sink satisfied with his hair before reaching for a spray gel to set it. “I’ve been asked to make a statement and this could set the future for my run for the seat,” he explained with zero emotion. “We have thirty minutes until the feed is live with the BBC so I suggest your hurry,” Henry tacked on.

“Jesus Christ, Henry. Philip isn’t even cold yet and you are already trying to take his spot!” Olivia exclaimed, though she wasn’t sure why since she knew how cold he could be. Yet it was still unsettling to her. His boss had just been murdered, right after someone attempted to kill them all in a terrorist attack, and who knew if they were still trying to finish what they started. Who else was potentially on the list? “Are we safe?” She asked as she stepped into her dress and pulled her hair up so he could do up the zipper for her. Normally she’d handle it all herself, bending herself into a pretzel if she had to so she could avoid him touching her but there was no time. “Do we get to go home now?” At least at home she had more privacy and could avoid the world, and Henry for that matter.

“There is no time to wait in politics. If you want power you take the opportunity under any circumstances,” Henry answered as if he were just reciting off a well-practiced speech. “We’ve been ordered not to leave the room, or even open the door, until our reinforcements from SAS gets here,” Henry explained as he zipped up the back of the dress in a quick movement before snapping his fingers for her to give him the necklace to put around her neck. “Taskforce 141 has been ordered to get us out. Isn’t that convenient?” The words were dripping with cruel amusement and Olivia tensed under his fingers for a moment before he got the clasp of the necklace done.

Olivia wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction he was looking for as she walked to the second sink in the bathroom. They both knew Kyle was on that taskforce and she was going to be forced to face him for a second time in less than twenty-four hours. Henry was so confident in himself, in the hold he had on Olivia, and Kyle’s hatred toward her that the whole thing was just a game to him. He liked watching Olivia suffer, something she had learned early in their marriage and this was just like twisting the knife in her back. “I’ll be ready shortly,” Olivia stated in a way of dismissal to Henry as she took a comb to her wavy hair.

Gaz could feel people staring as they exited their car and headed into the ornate hotel, though no one tried to stop them. Not even the hotel security staff was brave enough to venture over as they watched from behind their desk. Gaz knew it was because of the large rifles they were all toting out in the open and they were in full military turnout gear. He himself had opted to strap his very large bowie knife onto one of his thigh holsters, his pistol on the other. Of course, there was Ghost with his skull mask which always drew attention, even from seasoned military members.

“Alex, Ghost,” Price said taking note of all the staring. He didn’t mind people know they were there, but he also didn’t want to draw too many eyes, such as the news. Too much exposure made it harder to hunt and track the enemy if they knew what you looked like. “Figure out their ride arrangements. I want a little traffic getting to the airport as possible,” he ordered and the two men nodded before walking over to the concierge desk. “You two with me,” he finished pointing to Gaz and Soap who nodded.

“What’s the plan, Sir?” Gaz asked as they walked over to the elevator after getting directions from the person working the desk. Gaz smiled and nodded at an older couple that rushed out, their eyes bulging a bit at the three of them waiting there casually with their hands resting the butts of their guns. “Getting them to the airport then going to the embassy? Is their plane lined up?” He inquired after they stepped in and the lift started to rise rapidly, dinging with each floor that they passed. He felt as if his heart was in his throat as they got closer to Olivia and Henry but Gaz told himself it was only for a short time and he’d be rid of them.

“Plane is on standby. When we leave, Laswell is going to alert them to be ready,” Price answered as he shifted his gun a bit on his shoulder, eyes staring at the elevator screen as they rose up. “Government wants them to have an escort home,” he cut his eyes over to Gaz for a moment. “From when they land in London to their house,” Price explained further.

“Send Ghost with them,” Soap cut in before Gaz could protest. The look from Price had told him everything he needed to know; Gaz was going to be the one sent with them. “He’ll scare them all straight,” he chuckled a bit but the look on his face was serious.

“I need Ghost here…and Alex,” Price tacked on knowing Soap would suggest him next. “Alex is a good liaison with the Americans, you know how they can be,” he reasoned. Though, in reality, of the whole group Alex or Price himself would be the best options to send with the entourage of government people. Gaz of course was not a bad option; he was friendly and level headed but the history with Olivia all of that went out the window. He knew it wasn’t fair of him to send Gaz after everything that had happened but the job came first. Always.

“I’ll go then,” Soap offered as the elevator dinged for the final time and the door opened. He never wanted to do escort duty; he’d rather be in the thick of things but after what this woman had done to Gaz he didn’t want him to suffer more. “I can play babysitter for those bawbags,” he continued, daring a glance at Gaz who seemed shocked but grateful for Soap’s offer.

“I’d rather not have to write a book for my mission report,” Price answered, giving Soap a sideways glance. “They want Gaz. Henry’s team asked for him personally and Laswell agreed before she realized what she was agreeing to,” he finally said before glancing at the sergeant, an apologetic look on his face. “MI6 is clearing their houses and has offered to be security when they get there. You just need to escort them on the plane and home then you’re done.”

“You’re joking,” Gaz said with a laugh that didn’t have a hint of amusement in it. “Why would they ask for me? Fucking hell, you’d think they would have asked you left me on the side of the road instead,” he continued, rubbing his jaw with his gloved hand before shaking his head. “Are you sure they asked for me?” He was in disbelief even though he knew Price wouldn’t joke about this, and judging by his face Price wasn’t pleased about the arrangement either. “They had to of been taking the piss Captain,” he didn’t outright plea but the sentiment was there.

“Just because you’re escorting them doesn’t mean you have to play nice,” Soap said as he glanced at Price who stopped outside of a door. Where there would normally be security no one was there, it was determined to not draw attention to anyone’s whereabouts so they had been moved inside the suite. “Be a downright prick, that doesn’t stop you from keeping them alive. Just take a page from Ghost’s book, you’ll be fine.” He cuffed Gaz on the shoulder though Gaz didn’t look the least bit reassured.

“And that is why Laswell didn’t even think to offer you up,” Price stated before knocking on the door. There were muffled footsteps inside before a voice came from the other side demanding Price to tell them who he was. “Captain Price, SAS, 9051210,” he rattled off before kicking his military ID under the door for them. There was another long pause as they went over his information on the inside before the locked clicked and the double doors swung open. “Just get it over with, treat it like any other mission,” Price stated under his breath before they walked inside.

“Steamin’ Jesus,” Soap said quietly as they walked in, and Gaz had to agree with him as he took in the room.

The hotel suite was gigantic. There was a mini kitchen off to the left with a full dining table that was covered in laptops and papers, the highbacked chairs full of staffers. The living room was bigger than Gaz’s own flat and there were lights and a camera setup aimed at the plush white couch which was situated just right with decorative pillows and a tasteful throw in Britian’s country colors. Off to the side was a door that led to what Gaz suspected was the bedroom, and straight back were floor to ceiling glass windows with another set of double doors that lead outside to a small deck.

“Ah, Captain Price,” came voice Gaz knew and that set his teeth on edge. “Thank you for coming. Terrible what happened to Philip,” Henry stated with an air of sadness, but professionalism nonetheless. He extended his hand to Price, who took it, and they shook before dropping hands quickly. Gaz purposely shoved his hands into his pockets as he looked around avoiding eye contact if he could, the last thing he wanted was to shake the man’s hand. “Kyle,” Henry stated after a beat of silence and Gaz internally cringed but turned his eyes to the man and gave a small nod of acknowledgement. “I never got to thank you for saving Liv. She was ever so grateful, as was I. She even asked if you could escort us home, poor thing is so shaken up. I think a familiar face will help with her nerves,” he grinned though the gesture didn’t meet his eyes and it seemed more like a taunting leer.

“Sergeant Garrick,” Soap interjected pointedly, ignoring the side eye from Price, “is one of the best. You are lucky he is available to be able to take you and your wife home,” Soap finished. His hands were hooked in the straps of his vest as he looked down at Henry, all of them had a few inches on the man and Soap seemed satisfied to have the upper hand in that department.

“Ah, yes forgive me. Sergeant Garrick,” Henry stated turning back to Gaz again, brushing Soap off completely. “I just remember you from all those years ago. Those family gatherings with our Liv and of course her stories about you. Old habits die hard and all that,” he smirked before turning over his shoulder as the bedroom door opened and Olivia stepped out, sliding a diamond earring in her ear. “And there she is, darling come over here. We have a minute or two before we have to be situated,” he extended an arm out to Olivia as she looked over.

Fuck. Gaz stared at Olivia as she walked over and he felt the physical weight of his emotions hit him right in the chest. This was the woman that was supposed to be his endgame, the one that he would come home to after missions and curl up with in bed. Take her dancing on nights that he was home since he knew she loved it even if she had no rhythm without him leading and eventually have a family with. He had been blindly in love with her, had spent way too much money on her engagement ring and was on his way home to her when the letter came and she blindsided him so hard he thought the world had dropped out from his feet. Now, here she was, just a beautiful stranger that he was so angry with he could barely breathe at the sight of her.

Gaz missed the words that Price and Henry had exchanged as he watched Olivia walk over, his eyes taking in the dress and the delicate twist of her hair. But also noting that she was limping slightly in the ankle boots she had on, she must have hurt herself more than Gaz realized the night before. She was elegant in her steps though, carefully stepping over the plush carpet as she secured her earring and stepped to Henry’s side in his extended arm. She had barely spared a glance at Gaz in her walk and Gaz swallowed a bit as Soap knocked the side of his foot subtly with his own, masking it with adjusting his stance.

“Isn’t that right Sergeant?” Price asked and Gaz nodded simply having no idea what he just agreed to.

“Of course, Sir,” Gaz answered, glad his voice was even and calm despite the roiling thoughts in his mind. “I’m glad you seemed to have made it relatively unscathed last night,” Gaz stated to Olivia as she smiled prettily at him. She seemed vapid, her eyes blank as she looked around the room, her movements while fluid seemed forced. Had she always been like this? “Just a small limp,” he noted and he caught the side glare from Henry, “hopefully nothing but a few days rest will fix.”

“Oh just a few cuts,” Olivia answered with a small laugh, “strappy heels don’t do much for protection when you’re running through glass and the woods.” She fixed her glazed over eyes pointedly at Gaz since it was him who made her run through all that but her smile didn’t fade. “Doctor already came to see me and wrapped everything up. No stitches,” she opened her mouth to say something else but Henry interrupted.

“Darling, we need to get ready,” Henry nodded at his assistant that had walked over to gather them. “We’ll only be a few minutes then we can make our way out of here. I know Liv is anxious to get home and put this all behind us,” he rubbed her arm in a soothing gesture as they turned to walk over to the couch.

“He’s a right snake,” Soap stated as they all watched them get situated on the couch. Olivia adjusting a few times to make sure she was present in the shot but ever in the background to her husband.

“All politicians are,” Price answered as Ghost game over the radio. They had the transport ready; it would be a tight fit in two SUVs and when everyone was safely situated on board the plane the 141 would be breaking off to the American Embassy sans Gaz. It was a quick ride to the airport so the Americans wouldn’t be waiting long, they were already antsy having to wait as it was. A few of Henry’s aides would be staying behind in Belarus with beefed up security pack up what was left and bring it back to London on a later flight. “As soon as they are done, we are moving,” Price said to a man that walked over after Price gestured at him. “They have five minutes to get what they want to take with them, we’re on a tight schedule. Might I suggest your team pack up what they need while they talk. Just essentials,” he finished in a lowered voice as the cameraman announced they were live.

“Hopefully the Americans have some information so we can start tracking right away. I am going to be on the first flight back here after I see the backside of them,” Gaz stated under his breath as Henry put on quiet a show of empathy and sadness over the events. He had even drawn some attention to Olivia to point out she had been injured in the attack the evening before but had been saved by a brave British solider and went on a small tangent about thanking the armed forces. He was good at the smarmy Gaz would give him that.

“You’re so brave, Gaz,” Soap teased lightly, trying to ease some of the tension that was locking up Gaz’s back and shoulders. “If they thought that highly of the armed forces, they wouldn’t be trying to cut funding every two seconds,” Soap admonished with an eyeroll as someone walked over with a duffle bag and dropped it at their feet, along with a suitcase. “What am I supposed to do with this?” Soap asked, toeing the bag, “I’m not bell services. Bit busy keeping you lot alive,” he tapped his gun with his pointer finger for emphasis.

“Right,” said a weaselly man who picked the items back up and dragged them toward the doors. He seemed frazzled as another person came and added more bags and other items. The amount of luggage these people had was astounding, they were going to need to get a cart at this rate. How there was going to be anything left for the people staying behind Gaz wasn’t sure.

“Even their luggage bags are designer,” Gaz stated as a purple Gucci luggage bag was rolled by. Gaz suspected that was Olivia’s since it was her favorite color, a fact that he hated he remembered. “I thought politicians were supposed to be paid at a moderate wage,” he stated sarcastically. It was obvious Henry had money that came from outside of his day job, Gaz knew he was the sole heir of a wealthy real estate family. “Think they’ll notice if I nick one?” He asked Soap raising an eyebrow who just smirked in response, “bet I’d get a nice check from a pawn shop.”

The quick interview wrapped up and as soon as the lights in the lightbox cut, Price walked over to start ushering everyone around. He ordered everyone to grab their own bags, get anything else they needed and prepare to leave immediately. Henry of course ordered his aides to get his and Olivia’s bags but he was insistent he handle his own brief case and laptop since he’d need it for the flight. Even Olivia opted to take her own bag and extracted the purple roll luggage from the pile and dragged it to her side.

“I’ll bring up the rear,” Gaz offered as Price took point at the door. It was going to take all three elevators to get everyone downstairs where Ghost would meet them in the lobby and Alex would be waiting by the cars. The elevator ride was mostly quiet as Gaz took his group, the people on board with him were a bit twitchy and nervous as they stood behind Gaz. He could see them in the mirrored reflection of the doors and guessed that these were some of the more junior staff based on how young they looked. Price had been the one to take Henry and Olivia, Henry wanting to lead the way out in case there was any press.

“How’d it go?” Alex asked quietly when they made it to the cars and Gaz stood outside the door next to Alex as the groups piled in.

“Fine enough,” Gaz answered simply as he held out his hand to help a woman step up into the SUV. It was cold outside and he found himself glancing over at Olivia who was in a simple flimsy dress standing on the sidewalk waiting for her turn to get in. “I get to take them home,” he mused tearing his eyes away as Olivia glanced over at him, as if she felt him staring. “You’re apparently too important to go,” Gaz smirked, “Americans,” he finished sarcastically with a shake of his head, though it was a friendly tease.

“I’d go if I could,” Alex said sincerely as the last person climbed in and he shut the door with a snap. “Shepard is going to be there, so you know his lapdog Graves will be as well,” he tacked on with a knowing look and Gaz merely rolled his eyes. “So, trust me, if I could trade I would,” Alex finished before moving around to the driver side to climb in while Gaz took the passenger. Ghost, Soap and Price were in the other car with the more high-profile targets.

“Honestly, I think I would take Shepard at this point,” Gaz said with a sigh as he set his gun down between his legs and instead unholstered his pistol to rest in his lap. “Least it’s a three-hour plane ride, maybe I’ll get some sleep,” he tacked on as they pulled out of the hotel and into traffic. The group in the car was mostly quiet and subdued, like the elevator ride, and Gaz glanced back at them a few times in the rearview mirror.

“We’re here,” Alex stated after about twenty minutes as they pulled up to a side gate. They had special access to get to the private jets area and Alex drove them straight through across some old tarmacs. Despite being behind barbed wire fences Gaz was on alert, sitting up a bit straighter as they neared the hangars and clicking his safety off as people came into view. “Stay in the car until we clear it,” Alex stated, though his demeanor was friendly it was definitely an order that everyone nodded yes in response to.

Gaz climbed out first, his gun tight in his right hand and finger ready on the trigger as he hauled his bigger rifle out and over his shoulder. His movement was fluid, as if he had done it a thousand times, never taking his eyes off the flight crew that was walking over. Car doors around him shut with a loud clap as the rest of the 141 climbed out. Ghost wasn’t even hiding the fact that he was ready to shoot, his large rifle raised and braced against his shoulder as he stood between the ground crew and the back door of the SUV. That stopped one of the women in her tracks for a moment as she stared at Ghost before the pilot waved her onward.

“Leon,” Price greeted as he shook hands with the pilot before turning around to the rest of his team. “He’s former Royal Air Force. I ran an op with him back in the day,” he explained to his team before introducing everyone. “Gaz will be riding with you back to London and if you could find him something back, I’d appreciate it,” he stated to Leon who nodded once before gesturing for his team to head back to the plane to prepare for takeoff. Price and Leon talked for a bit as the rest of the team cleared the group to exit the car and head to the plane.

Stepping away for a moment Gaz dug out his pack of smokes and lit one. If he was going to be stuck in a small confined space with these people, he needed something to take the edge off and drinking was not an option. As he puffed, Gaz watched as Olivia climbed out of the car, Henry having already exited it and didn’t wait for her to help her out. He raised an eyebrow as she adjusted her skirt before straightening up and walking toward the plane purposely, dragging her luggage behind her. Almost at the end of his smoke Price gestured for him to wrap it up with a wave of his hand and Gaz dropped the butt and smashed it with his boot before walking over.

“See you in a few hours,” Price said as he patted him on the shoulder roughly. “Don’t make me regret sending you,” he added with a raised eyebrow and Gaz shook his head. “Good man,” Price finished before walking toward the SUV where the rest of the ground had already climbed in. Gaz made eye contact with Soap for a moment who nodded at him before snapping the door shut, Gaz returning the gesture with a heavy sigh before walking to the plane and up the steps.

“We saved this area for you,” the flight attendant stated as Gaz cleared the last step and entered the plane. Gaz nodded as he moved to sit down in one of the leather seats that had its back up against the cockpit facing in toward the rest of the plane. His row was empty, it was only two seats, and the two seats facing him were also empty so he had the little pod to himself. “Can I get you anything?” The woman asked a bit anxiously as Gaz listened to Leon speaking with his copilot as they finished their last checks of the plane.

“Just water,” Gaz said simply though he smiled up at her. She didn’t seem like she wanted to be on this flight either though he was sure it was for different reasons. He didn’t want to be around his ex and her husband and this woman was probably terrified if being shot at after everything that had happened. “Appreciate you and your team willing to take this flight on such short notice,” Gaz tacked on before the woman could leave and she gave him a genuine smile. “I promise to not pester. I’m hoping this will be uneventful, I think we’ve all had enough action for a while.”

Settling down into his seat Gaz eyed the rest of the plane, taking in where everyone else was sitting. He noticed that Henry was cloistered in another pod of four seats with laptops out and a small table between them covered in papers. His team was seated around him and across from him, powering up their own devices and sending last minute messages before takeoff. Olivia was seated alone though, one leg crossed over the other and her foot jiggling as she stared out the window as if she were watching the most interesting thing out there. Gaz dared a glance across the aisle out one of those windows to see if he could see what she saw but it was nothing but the hangar out there. She was avoiding looking at him he suspected since they were right in one another’s eyeline if she looked inside the plane.

The attendant returned with his water and they made idle chatter about the weather and the flight before the pilot asked everyone to take their seats. Gaz fastened his seatbelt and downed half the bottle of water before they took off, his gaze locked on the window to watch the landscape disappear before they were up in the clouds. He hated this, hated sitting in the plane without any sort of information and feeling useless. He was tapping his fingers on the armrest of his seat to try and burn off some of the nervous energy as the flight attendants started making their rounds again. Olivia had asked for a wine and Gaz watched as she dug around in her purse before producing a pill that she popped in her mouth and swallowed it with the full glass of wine. She shuddered slightly before holding the glass out for the attendant to fill it again. When she glanced his way Gaz merely raised his eyebrows and stared at her for a moment longer before looking away again.

Slouching down some Gaz threw his feet up on the empty seat across from him, not caring that he was dirtying up the leather with his shoes. He was going to try and get a catnap in; nothing was going to happen on the plane that he could prevent so he may as well relax. Pulling the cap down over his eyes Gaz crossed his arms over his chest and shut his eyes, letting the vibrating hum of the plane engine lull him to sleep. He dozed off quickly, his head falling to the side a bit as he drifted though he didn’t sleep deeply. Sudden sounds and movements woke him right up and he would listen for a moment before falling back under again.

“Sir,” came a voice and a gentle tap on his shoulder. Gaz started slightly in his seat before pushing the hat back up off his eyes. “Sorry to wake you but we are landing shortly,” the woman said quietly as Gaz pulled his feet down to the floor to sit up properly. His eyes instantly surveyed the plane to make sure everything was as it should be. Henry was still in deep talks with his team and Olivia had fallen asleep, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders as her head leaned against the window.

“No worries,” Gaz said as he stretched a bit and felt his chest pop. He was about to ask for another water but the woman already had one in hand and gave it to him, along with a napkin. Shit, had he been drooling? He smiled politely as she grinned and moved to go wake up Olivia and Gaz unfolded the napkin read to wipe his chin when he found a name, quick message and phone number scribbled on it. Ah.

He smirked a bit looking at the woman as she gently shook Olivia awake and when she glanced back at him, he gave her a small nod and pointedly pocketed the napkin so she saw he received her message. Maybe he would take her up on her offer for drinks depending on when his flight out would be. If not, he would have to figure out the next time he’d see her, she was cute enough. He drank his water and his eyes followed the woman, Abby, as she continued to do her safety checks of the passengers. He was smirking to himself when he caught Olivia staring at him, her eyes narrowed as she glanced between Kyle and Abby, putting two and two together with an eyeroll.

For the landing Abby took a seat across from Gaz and they chatted for a bit, Gaz giving her his number as well. Turned out she lived in London not far from the airport, easier for her job, and had offered to meet Kyle if he had time at a small pub around the corner. She was about to be busy with some planned flights and Gaz had picked up on the heavily implied offer to come back to her place after drinks. It wasn’t the exact distraction he had been looking for but he wasn’t going to turn it down either if it worked out for him. He wanted to get back to the team of course but spending the night alone in a hotel or with an attractive woman he was always going to pick the latter.

“It’s not professional to flirt with the help,” Olivia stated a bit annoyed as she exited the plane behind Kyle a little while later. He had taken point to exit first, though the airport was empty in this area. There were a few cars waiting for them and Gaz went to the first bigger SUV and opened the door for Olivia. She tossed her bag inside before her without much care before grabbing a handle to pull herself up.

“Didn’t realize it mattered to you,” Gaz answered simply, his eyes sweeping the area, “and I think I qualify as ‘the help’ these days.” His words were clipped as Olivia hefted herself up and he watched her teeter a bit on her injured feet before he placed a hand on her lower back to help push her inward. She swatted his hand away and Gaz raised his hand innocently as she snatched the seatbelt and pulled on it. “Fine, fall on your ass next time,” Gaz said with a small shrug. When she opened her mouth to say something else Gaz merely shut the door in her face with a chuckle, knowing she was probably fuming inside.

“You know where we are going?” Gaz asked the driver as he stood next to the rolled down window, to which the man nodded yes. Henry climbed into the seat behind the driver while his aides loaded up all of his luggage in the trunk, not bothering to even acknowledge them, let alone thank them. When everyone was situated in all their cars Gaz climbed in the front passenger of Henry and Olivia’s and they were off. Everyone had been ordered to go right home, they would convene the following day at parliament but that was not Gaz’s problem. He just needed to make sure Henry and Olivia made it to the handoff with MI6 and he was done with them and he could do his actual job.

The car was dead silent on the ride, not even the radio was playing as they wove through the streets of London. It was already dark outside thanks to the time of year and a light rain was falling as they joined into the rush hour traffic. Gaz could hear Henry tapping away on his phone and he dared a look up in the mirror and saw Olivia just staring out the window, her eyes completely disconnected to what she was looking at. Bouncing his knee again Gaz stared out into the traffic when his phone buzzed, followed by another, then another. By the time he dug it out his pocket he had seven new notifications and he quickly swiped it up to unlock it.

The first text was from Abby, asking if he had figured out his flight yet. The next six, now eight, were from Laswell. Gaz scanned through them as yet another text came in, this one from Price. “Keep going,” Gaz said urgently to the driver who had thrown his signal on to take them to the street that led to Olivia and Henry’s house. The driver seemed confused and moved to turn the wheel to make the left and Gaz threw his hand out that was still holding his phone to grab the wheel and jerk it back straight as his other hand moved to flip the holster open on his pistol. “Keep going straight,” he ordered and the man’s eyes widened as he took in Gaz flipping the safety off his gun.

“What is going on?” Olivia asked as she sat up in the backseat, Henry still oblivious in his phone. “Kyle?” She asked as the driver tilted his wheel to the right to get back into the lane going straight. Gaz was ignoring her as he ripped off his glove with his teeth and typed in a response on his phone before clicking over to another text message and answering that. “Hello?” She asked and tapped the back of the seat that Kyle was in.

“Give me a moment,” Gaz snapped as his eyes scanned the area before telling the driver where he needed to go. It seemed Henry had been lured out of his phone at what was going on and he had set it in his lap. They were making quick turns and at one point narrowly missed clipping a minivan as Gaz gave a last-minute instruction.

“Sergeant Garrick,” Henry’s smooth voice came in. “I’d like to know what is going on. Now.” The last word was a demand.

Gaz flicked his eyes up in the mirror to look at Henry and Olivia before turning around in his seat to face them. His phone was vibrating with a call now and he reached for it, swiping to answer before speaking to Henry and Olivia. “Your house has been compromised. MI6 arrived to a break in and one of the agents was shot by a fleeing suspect,” Gaz supplied just as Price began barking orders in his ear from the phone. “I’m taking you to an undisclosed location as soon as I can safely ditch your driver,” Gaz continued as he gestured for the driver to pull over at the curb. He was dropping the man at a shopping mall and while the driver did not seem impressed with this idea as he clambered out, he didn’t voice it obviously not wanting to argue with the guy with the gun.

“Our house?” Olivia gasped out as she grabbed the back of Kyle’s chair as he slid over the center console not wanting to get out of the car and walk around. “Who are these people?” She asked turning to look at Henry who was talking on the phone now to someone on his staff or in the government. His normal unflustered persona he kept on for the public was gone as he snarled into the phone for answers and updates.

“Not sure,” Gaz answered as he threw the SUV into drive and shouldered his phone between his ear and shoulder to get directions from Laswell now. She was working on arranging a safehouse from MI6 and as Gaz whipped the car around in a quick u-turn he heard Olivia shriek as she was thrown back into her seat. “Can you just patch Price in? He is killing me with the texts,” Gaz asked as his phone continued to vibrate with messages. Laswell laughed and after a few moments she pulled the Captain in on the call. Kyle was quiet as the two of them yelled and cursed at one another, Laswell tossing a few directions there and there for Gaz to try and figure out. Price was more pissed at the fact Gaz was having to run this on his own when it wasn’t even their job, Laswell just impatient with Price’s grumblings.

“I can handle this Captain, I just need to know what you want me to do…besides dropping them on a street corner for someone else to deal with,” Gaz managed to wedge in between the two of them snarling. He glanced up in the mirror with a smirk at the look of indignation on Olivia’s face and Henry who seemed extremely unhappy with the situation. He had asked for Kyle specifically to be an asshole toward him and Olivia but now he was getting way more than he had bargained for.

“Just get to the safehouse and wait for further instruction,” Laswell answered before Price could continue to gripe and she ended the call.

“We’re going to Havering. MI6 has a place we can hole up in for the night,” Gaz stated as he tossed his phone into the passenger seat so he could concentrate on driving properly. He would need to work on some switch backs and taking different routes, Laswell hadn’t even texted the address just to be safe. “They are going to investigate the incident, secure your house and clear it. You’ll be able to go back in a few days,” he finished as he ran the yellow light as it turned red just to be sure no one was following them.

“That’s unacceptable. I need to be back in my own house,” Henry stated as he typed away on his phone. “I don’t want strangers trampling around. It was probably some stupid children,” he continued. “Take us home, Sergeant.”

“I doubt children have the same guns that were used at the gala in Belarus,” Gaz answered coolly as he turned onto a motorway, putting the gas to the floor to get up to speed quickly. “Trust me, I don’t want to be around you or Liv any longer than I have to but I’m going to do my job. Hopefully you’ll have your own personal agents assigned to you and I would suggest you do better checks on your security team and hire a different company. Sir.” He tacked on the last word with a bit of snark and he could tell Henry was seething at being told he was wrong and wasn’t having his orders followed.

“Just,” Olivia finally chimed in, her face pale as she looked between Henry and Kyle as he drove. “I just want to be somewhere safe,” she finished after a moment and felt the glare Henry threw at her. If they were alone, she knew he would have likely punished her for speaking against him, he had already left a nice bruise on her upper thigh after they argued in the car on the way to the airport in Belarus. He hadn’t liked the way he thought she had looked at Kyle as he stood there watching their interview. “I need a stiff drink and a bed,” she finished slinking down in the seat.

“You and me both,” Kyle answered simply as the sped down the motorway in the rain that had turned into a downpour.

#fanfic #fanfiction #call of duty fanfic #cod #call of duty #kyle gaz garrick #gaz fanfic #cod gaz #gaz cod #gaz x oc #ao3 fanfic #ao3writer #ao3 author #my fic #ao3 writer #keeping lines blurry

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inkandpaperqwerty · 1 month

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Had a pretty productive week, but not necessarily on the writing front.

I worked on Through the Gate, a crossover story mentioned on my list, but it was literally less than a thousand words. It’s a whole section, it’s just a very small section, so good job, I guess?

I got some more work done on Sparkling Eyes and Cigarette Burns, and the chapter is now at 6,000+ words, and my chapters for this story are usually between 6,000 and 8,000 words, so we’re getting close! I can also confirm there will be much fluff to make up for the past several chapters of heart-wrenching angst.

I did not write the last chapter of Awesome Mix Vol. 1, but I have plenty of time. I still have to post Chapters 6-11 before we even think about posting Chapter 12. And, of course, I posted Chapter 5 on Wednesday, and the next chapter will be coming out on 04/03/2024.

Worked on revising Collision Course (blurb here) and did another chapter rewrite. Finally pushed past Chapter 39 of The Property Protection Act, which I have been stuck on for months. I talked with my sister and got a lot of information on publishing Cataclysm (blurb here), but so far I’ve only created an Amazon account, picked the dimensions for my book, and made some formatting progress. I tried getting a sales tax ID, but I was having trouble and was told to wait until after tax season is over. Still, we’re moving forward!

Thanks for reading!

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lady-rhaesnow · 2 years

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Darlin

Summary: It’s a tough day for the Halstead girls as they come to terms with Jay going back to work. Luckily, they’re armed with good friends, family and Hailey’s unconventional music choice. They might just survive the day …

Read on AO3 and FFN

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the-fiction-vixen · 7 months

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AO3 Tag Roulette Writing Challenge: October 2023

The below list was compiled using the AO3 Tag Roulette random generator and will provide you with five tags from Archive of Our Own (AO3). Your task is to write a story using all of them. Anything goes with Tag Roulette - from romantic to fantasy to just downright weird, you never know where the tags will take you.

Remember, you can do as much or as little with each tag as you like, and you're not limited to those tags alone. Get creative with it, and make the tags work for you. The goal of this challenge is to inspire you to write, so don't be afraid to take the tags in a direction that feels right for you.

#fanfiction #fanfic #ao3 #writing #archiveofourown #ao3writing #ao3 tags #ao3 tag roulette #writing prompts #writing prompt #writing challenges #writing ideas #prompt generator #fic prompts #story prompts #prompt roulette

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darkshadows93 · 2 months

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Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (Cartoon) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)/Original Female Character(s) Characters: Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Original Female Character(s), Mimzy (Hazbin Hotel), Rosie (Hazbin Hotel), Franklin (Hazbin Hotel) Additional Tags: Adopted Fanfic, Alastor is in Hell for a Reason (Hazbin Hotel), Unhealthy Relationships, Toxic Relationships, Brief Mention of Suicide, Murder, Cannibalism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, heavy on the angst my dear, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, full circle friends to lovers to enemies and back again, Redemption, Soft Alastor but in his own twisted way, Protective Alastor (Hazbin Hotel), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, tags will change Summary:

Adopted and adapted from the discontinued 'I'll Eat You Whole.'

"We were the most unconventional of pairs, you and I. But deep down, my little fawn, perhaps, not even you could agree that we are meant for one another. Just two monsters living in a pathetic hell just trying to survive. Oh, the agony that must bring."

"I don't need you anymore, Alastor."

"That's what you believed before coming to this hotel, my dear. You believed you could move on and seek the redemption you crave like every other pathetic soul within these walls. You created me, Fauna. Remember that. Remember that when you return to the one thing you love the most."

#hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin fanfic #hazbin ao3 #ao3 fanfic #ao3 link #ao3writer #darkshadows93

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starsmacabray · 6 months

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me in my authors end note after dropping the most heart wrenching, vomit inducing, miserable chapter i’ve ever written:

#it’s like a reward #harry potter #marauders fanfiction #regulus black #slytherin skittles #jegulus #regulus black kinnie #marauders era #james x regulus #trans regulus black #trans regulus #ao3writer #ao3 #writeblr #ao3 fanfic

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caspira-writes-fanfiction · 3 days

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Finding Family (Fizz's Found Family)-Chapter 1

Fizz's First Performance

(tw: mentions of childhood neglect)

Being a kid in Greed wasn’t easy. The only way to survive was to be slippery, and find a way to forget some of the shit you saw. There weren’t many kids in greed, at least not that Fizzarolli knew of. Until recently, he spent most of his time hiding in whatever room or apartment his mother and him shared. He listened for footsteps and told her when people were at the door before the knocking was loud enough to feel in the floorboards. He hid when his mother told him to, blocking out the outside world by thinking of whatever could make him laugh. Later, when his mom was sad, he’d try to make her laugh with everything he’d thought of.

But he hadn’t been able to make Mama laugh in days.

Nobody had come to the door in two days. Mama hadn’t smiled in three. Instead she closed her eyes, effectively tuning her out from the world unless Fizz came to tickle her. She usually didn’t like that, though, so he hadn’t tried.

They’re living in one of the nicer apartments right now. It only has a small kitchen and the bathroom is down the hallways and shared with 10 other people on the floor, but this one has a mattress and a television. That’s better than the last place they were at. Fizz crawls from the mattress. Mama has been facing the wall for the last while. She doesn’t turn to look at him when he crawls off the mattress and turns on the television. He could leave the volume up, she wouldn’t notice, but he kept it silent. In case he had to listen to footsteps.

The screen flickered on, grainy and low contrast. Even with the poor quality of the screen, however, Fizz could see how colorful it was supposed to be. Bright Green striped the screen as a large Jester danced on a stage. He couldn’t hear what the man was saying but it didn’t matter. He was captivating. Fizz couldn’t keep his eyes off him.

Mammon he learned was the man’s name. Fizz liked how it sounded sort of like Mama on his tongue. He liked that they sounded similar. Both Mammon and Mama made him laugh, they made him want to be something great. The comfort of their similarities was Fizz's own personal secret, though. Mama couldn't hear him say either of their names, and Mama didn't smile when Fizz went on about Mammon anyway.

He practiced his juggling as often as he could. Whether it be balled up socks or pieces of paper. If he could swipe some fruit or potatoes, he’d practice with those until they needed to be eaten. Sometimes he’d tried with rocks. When he didn’t have anything to juggle, he worked on pantomime.

It wasn’t a secret, but he practiced the most when Mama wasn’t looking. Every time Fizz tried to talk about Mammon she rolled her eyes. No Money, She would tell him when he mentioned him. He didn’t understand what that had to do with anything yet. She said No money about a lot of things, it never stopped the two of them from dreaming before.

----

Mama taught Fizz how to dream at an early age. It’s important she’d tell him, If you can dream it, you can make it happen. You can do anything you set your mind to. When he’d wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream, Mama would hold him and scratch between his horns.

What’s the dream you’d like to have? She’d smile at him and rock him. Sometimes he would tell her, sometimes he’d close his eyes and go back to sleep while thinking of all the wonderful things he could dream.

In the mornings when Mama would be getting ready for the day, Fizz would ask her about her dreams. Her answer was always the same: To get out of here. He never knew where here was, they were always in a new place. He didn’t argue, though. He just started thinking of all the new places they could go together.

When Mama would leave for work, Fizz would think about all the places they could go. He’d have a new story for her when she got home, something to make her smile. He loved making his Mama smile. On the nights that Mama didn’t come home, Fizz would curl up under his blanket and think of all the wonderful dreams he could have. Sometimes, he managed to dream of something nice.

____

Mammon quickly became his dream. This could be their escape. If he could be as talented as Mammon was, he could get Mama out of here. If he could be good enough, Mama would smile again.

After a week of sneaking Mammon’s television program every moment he could, the screen changed. Instead of the clown’s face looking back at him, a big OVERDUE notice was on the screen. Fizz didn’t know how to read, he didn’t know what it meant, he just knew that Mammon wasn’t on the television anymore.

He told himself it didn’t matter. Today he was going to try his act for his mother. She’d gotten out of bed today, she’d left the house before Fizz woke up. She’d left two dollars on the counter. That was more money than Fizz had been entrusted with ever. Today was going to be a good day. Today, he was going to get Mama to smile. Today he was going to be like Mammon.

Five year old Fizzarolli had never been farther than his quarter of these mazing slums alone, but with two whole dollars! Who knew what he could do? He knew to lock the door before he left, but Mama didn’t leave a key. He made sure one of the windows was unlocked, but a small one. The bathroom, then. Fizz tucked his two dollars into his pocket, double locked the front door and headed to the bathroom. He was small enough to fit through the top latch of the window. All he had to do was climb onto the toilet, hop onto the windowsill, and shimmy up the frame until he could pull himself out. Then, he had to find the small sill on the outside and stand on it so that he could close the window again. Mama hated when he left the windows open.

Two dollars, it turns out, could not get you a lot in Greed. Fizz managed to make his way out of the complex without much notice. He walked towards the bus stop like him and Mama did to go to the market. The bus took both of his dollars and gave him change and a small blue and green card in return. It was three stops to the market. He could still get something magical for Mama there.

He was lucky that Mama had gotten him new clothes a few weeks ago. You’re getting so big. She said after pulling an oversized sweater over him. You need bigger clothes to fit into. These should last you awhile. Bigger clothes also meant that he could sneak more things. He was small, cute, easy to distract and great with his hands. When he was with Mama, he’d hide under her skirt and take whatever was low hanging enough and tasty looking. Today he was looking for juggling materials.

Three meager potatoes hid in the imp’s sleeve that he cradled to his arm, pretending it was injured. He tried slipping an apple into his pocket as well, but was caught and forced to surrender the rest of his change in exchange for it. It was worth it though, and nobody ever caught on about the potatoes.

The hell hound driving the bus points at Fizz’s ticket when he gives it to her. ONE WAY is printed in big letters. She explained he needed to pay more if he wanted to ride the bus, but he’d spent all of his money on the first bus and his apple so he got off and walked. He followed the bus’s path home. Four more passed him as he walked. He found a newspaper that wasn’t too dirty and even managed to pick a few flowers growing from cracks in the gutter. His legs were sore and he was tired when he finally made it back to their tiny apartment, but the five year old Fizzarolli’s heart was happy.

It wasn’t the easiest crawl back in from the bathroom window, but he’d climbed through plenty of windows before. He had to pull himself up onto the windowsill first, then scoot the window down from the top. He was thankful that he didn’t have to walk back on his arms, because he wouldn’t have been able to pull himself up and inside if they were as sore as his legs were.

When he heard the familiar footsteps of Mama many hours later, Fizzarolli straightened. He waited in the dark, doing his best to hide his excitement. He’d crafted a hat out of newspaper, a simple cone with the gutter flowers poking out the top. It was a little lopsided and unstable, but he considered it another challenge. A balancing act. When the lights turned on and Fizz was met with his mother’s face staring at him, the little imp lit up.

Introducing the great Fizzarolli! He signed, his smile so wide it made his cheeks hurt. He held onto his hat as he bowed. First act: juggling. Except this was a trick. Oh, Mama was going to be so impressed!

Fizz pretended to take his three potatoes out of his pocket. His eyebrows raised as he looked down at the invisible balls in his hand. He practiced the movements of juggling, his eyes following the invisible movement of the balls before looking over at her. She wasn’t smiling yet, but her attention was on him. He took the opportunity to act as though he’d dropped one of the balls and they’d hit him on the head.

The door closed behind Mama and he could see the beginnings of a smile. The act picked up. Fizzarolli picked the invisible balls up and threw them behind him, looking back to make sure he hadn’t broken a window. He could hear the soft snort that meant Mama thought he was being cute. He pulled the potatoes out of his pocket and juggled them. He alternated between standing on one leg and standing on both. He couldn’t juggle them for longer than six or seven seconds at a time, but it didn’t matter. By the time his show was over, Mama was laughing.

He ran into her arms after his bows. He’d missed his Mama so much.

My little jester. She signed, pressing her horns against his. He could feel tears drip onto his head. She must be so proud of him.

That night, Fizz fell asleep thinking about his Mama’s smile.

______________________________________________________________

Lifetimes later, Fizzarolli finds himself awake in his palace. He is no longer alone; Asmodeous sleeps sprawled on his back and snoring while Fizz tries to calm to the rise and fall of his love’s chest. Fizz is safe, but he’s not settled.

He can’t remember Mama’s face anymore.

Asmodeus roused a while later. He was becoming accustomed to waking up in the middle of the night without the usual weight of Fizzarolli on his chest. This was the third time this week Fizz had run off in the middle of the night. It had been less than a month since Fizz had quit Mammon and ever since Fizz had been…..all over the place. The king sighed as he accepted his fate for the night. He just hoped Fizz would be easy to find. The last time Fizz got up in the night, Ozzie found him in the kitchen cupboards halfway through a box of Bee’s cotton candy cereal. He wasn’t even picking out just the marshmallows.

Something hit him in the head followed by a dejected sigh that has Asmodeus up and alert in an instant. The light contrast of Fizzarolli’s night cap flitting around the trapeze above their bed let Asmodeus know that Fizz hadn’t left the room.

“Froooooggy” Ozzie’s voice sang from his spot in their bed. He sounded amused, it was the easiest way to keep the concern from edging in.

Fizz didn’t answer him.

Asmodeus sighed and floated up to Fizz’s height. He looked exhausted, not unlike how he’d looked in the days leading up to Mamm’s contest. “Babe, come on back to bed. Tell me what’s on your mind? I’ll give you a rub down...we can just talk.” Fizz wouldn’t look at him, no matter which angle Ozzie tried to catch his eye. Gentle worry turned to a more fiery concern.

“Fizzy”

I’m fine! Fizz signed, wadded up balls of paper fell from his hands as his arms grew in size to make his message very clear. Fizz had never signed to him before, and it happened so fast that Asmodius barely registered what he’d done until it was over and Fizz was flipping him off. His face, however, showed no malice in it. He looked sad. When Oz didn’t waver, he watched Fizzarolli’s face crumple. The clown leaned backwards, letting himself fall safely for a while before catching himself with his legs so he could hang upside down.

“You’re not fine. Fiz, this is the third night this week you’ve been up doing some bullshit instead of sleeping. What is on your mind, Fizzy Frog?” Ozzie had been patient when Fizz didn’t want to talk all the previous nights, but Fizz hadn’t pushed him away like this then. “Is this about Mammon still? I’ve told you, Fizzy. I’ve got it covered. I don’t care what he says about us. And you still have a career if you want one. You are the most talented, inspiring, creative, original-”

“It’s not about Mammon!” The room was suddenly very quiet.

Fizz was crying.

“Talk to me, Froggy.”

Fizzarolli let his body go limp. Ozzie worried that he was going to hurt himself in the fall from the trapeze to the bed but Fizz was a natural performer, he knew exactly how to fall. Fizarrolli caught himself at just the right time, curling up into a ball and pressing his knees to his chest as soon as his body hit the mattress. Ozzie returned to the bed and sat beside him.

The gentle sound of sobs filled the silence. Ozzie’s hand rubbed circles against Fizzarolli’s back until he was ready to speak again.

“I-I’m….I’m dreaming about Mama again.”

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