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kinetic-elaboration · 3 years

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August 15: 2x03 The Paradise Syndrome

I have seen this episode once before and I remember it being pretty awful... but tbh, I didn’t think it was so bad this time around. Maybe that’s just because my expectations were, like, Spock’s-Brain low. It definitely had issues but there was stuff I liked too!

Hmmm, that’s not the bridge. It appears to be... California?

Wondering what people might be so “blessed by this environment”--what a manly he-man action/adventure guy thing to say, amirite?

How does Spock know the significant markers of all the Native American tribes at a distance, off the top of his head?

(Answer: he doesn’t; all of this information is wrong and also one of those tribes is completely made up lmao.)

Honestly, who’s to say these people aren’t advanced? How do YOU know?

“Just so peaceful... no command decisions.” Oh no, Jim’s feeling Romantic again.

Honestly, imagine this characterization in AOS: overworked starship captain think he wants a break (but is wrong). Beyond made a vague attempt but missed what it is that Kirk finds stressful about command--it’s not that it’s boring, it’s the weight of the responsibility and the inability to find love.

Although funnily enough, even on his Native American Vacation, he still finds himself in a command position. He just can’t be stopped. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Oh no, the obelisk ate him.

Maybe these people specifically built the obelisk so that they could return to this idyllic ““primitive”“ state, hmm? Maybe they like their lives this way. Maybe they experienced "progress" and then decided that whatever era of their development looked like indigenous American peoples had it right. (This is not correct but it roughly is the plot of Errand of Mercy so I’m not without precedent.)

Spock’s using simple tools to explain his point to Bones lol. “Here, let me dumb it down for you, lesser man of science.”

“Who am I? What are these?” Cpine morning voice: “This must be a dream!”

Kirk looks so confused. The god from the obelisk.

“The engines are showing signs of stress.” Seems to me like SCOTTY’S showing signs of stress.

And yet the music is so whimsical.

Honestly Kirk’s expression here = Denny Crane’s when in a meeting

White man brings CPR, is hailed as god. (I wish I were making this up.)

Damn, Salish has been demoted. How embarrassing for him.

This is a VERY interesting Spock. He does all his calculations, but the he takes all the risks. He’s very certain and single-minded, almost obsessed, not afraid of anything. I think it’s IC but I also think you can see some Kirk influence, perhaps... You can see how Spock has grown in his command abilities since The Galileo Seven.

The wise ones = the aliens.

“He died before he could tell Salish the secret” to opening the Obelisk and stopping the asteroid. That IS unfortunate.

“How does this shirt open?” Lol.

“Your name is Kirok?” “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“I’ve never been this happy and peaceful.” Funny how he looks neither happy nor peaceful. Maybe it’s something like “I’ve never been this happy and peaceful...and I don’t like it.” Or “I’ve never been this happy and peaceful... there must be something wrong.”

“Here there is much time. For everything.” No there isn’t, there’s an asteroid coming.

Kirk’s cottage core fantasy.

Poor Scotty, so stressed out. Maybe he needs some time with the indigenous aliens.

The Joining Day? Lol okay.

Kirk has no chill, at all. “Oh, you want to get married? Tomorrow? Okay!!” Is this how Gary was able to successfully distract with him the blonde lab technician?

The “stardrive.”

“Estimated repair time?” “FOREVER.”

“And you lost Jim.” Cool it Bones, there’s no need to be cruel. Spock’s already in his thinking pose so you know he’s taking this seriously.

Love Spock’s chair. That’s not Starfleet regulation.

“I have found paradise.” Is he high??

Requisite highly choreographed fight scene.

“You’ve barely eaten or slept for weeks.” That’s because he’s worried about Jim. And the giant asteroid. This is a great Spock and McCoy scene though.

I can’t believe this. Spock lies down (barely!) and McCoy just leaves like he actually thinks he’s won, and then Spock immediately gets up again to go back to work.This guy is even easier to fool than Sarek.

You know Spock spent his whole adolescence going "Sure, I'll do the thing" and then just not doing it.

“A strange lodge that moves through the sky...” Well okay.

Okay I’m sorry, is he sensing the enterprise or is he sensing SPOCK? Because most of this dialogue might just imply he’s generically remembering his old life... but he also specifically says that the “flying lodge” was farther away and now it’s closer again, and how he could he know that otherwise?

She’s pregnant? That’s not good lol. AWKWARD.

Also the closest that TOS will ever come to acknowledging people have sex.

Omg he made a lamp. He made a lamp on his first day there. Does this imply that Captain Kirk had an arts and crafts phase?? Like CPR I understand him knowing--I’m sure everyone in Starfleet does. But hand-carving a lamp? That’s a whole other skill.

Various cultures including “certain Vulcan offshoots” use music notes as words omgggggg I love this information PLEASE tell me more.

“The Preservers” is a good concept imo. Nifty sci fi innovation: taking aliens from endangered places and giving them a new place, then setting it up nicely for them.

Stop throwing things guys! It’s not helping!

“I need Nurse Chapel.” Damn right you do.

Spock really doesn’t like that “wife.” He sounds like “Wife?? How dare??”

Then he suggests it’s a hallucination even though there’s a woman right there.

"Naturally, since he did not come from there. He's my man, get your paws off him."

Vulcan mind fusion? What the heck is that? How is it season 3 and they still don’t know what to call it?

“He is an extremely dynamic individual.” Spock was really taken for a ride in that brain.

“The landing party is expendable.” There’s the Captain.

“I have an excellent eye for musical notes.” Brag.

“Just press the right button.”

Looks like Spock was the god they wanted all along.

Okay, that was an uncool ending though. I know they basically had to kill Miramanee as soon as she was pregnant but like, there was also no reason for her to be pregnant??? I would have preferred if (1) Miramanee hadn't been pregnant, (2) Jim got over her as soon as he regained his memory and (3) she lived and they just parted awkwardly.

Also I think it would have been nice if they had ended with the Enterprise explaining to Salish how the obelisk works, and then maybe even a hint that he and Miramanee will get back together. Like, maybe not that, since I’m not a fan of women just being used to, like, make men feel better--though I’m also not a fan of them being fridged because of Inconvenient Baby--but he should have at least gotten his position back and, more importantly, the knowledge he was always entitled to. Also, the very existence of an asteroid deflector, along with the people’s extensive knowledge of what weather signifies Oncoming Asteroid, implies this happens to them with some frequency. So in other words, the threat will return.

Plus Salish never got enough credit for being right, which he was! The whole time!

Oh and also I would have liked some acknowledgement that Jim does like being Captain. If you watch the whole show, you know that he occasionally bemoans the stress and his inability to maintain a romantic relationship, despite his love of long walks on the beach, but that he’s also ambitious, he loves exploration and adventure, he gets bored if left in one place too long, and he believes in the necessity of progress and discovery to keep not just individuals but societies from stagnation. But if you just watched this episode, you’d think he’d never been happy in his entire life, and that returning to command makes him miserable.

Aside from the Native American stuff--which was awkward and rather unnecessary and has aged, as you might imagine, very very poorly--I actually didn’t hate the episode. It had some VERY interesting Spock stuff, which I think is within a reasonable Spock characterization, and some great Spock and Bones moments. Kirk’s story line was surprisingly engaging for him being completely separate from the crew, and the general theme that he sometimes needs, or thinks he desires, a break from command, is definitely in keeping with other episodes. I liked the asteroid as the Big Danger, which was surprisingly dynamic--by which I mean, it did a good job of connecting the very disparate story lines on the Enterprise and on the planet. I also liked the Sci Fi Concept of the week in the Protectors. And it was interesting to see an ep take place over a longer period of time.

None of this is to downplay how awkward the Native American elements are--incredibly fetishistic, and also lazy--like, “I want to show something Simple and Idyllic...I know! Indians!” There was no reason they should look like American Indians. In fact, it makes no sense that they do: the Protectors take peoples from planets that are about to be destroyed and (somehow) discreetly move them somewhere else, but Native American peoples still.... very much exist? And so does Earth as a whole. So obviously these aliens weren’t transplanted from Earth. So why should their culture resemble some awkward mishmash of Native American cultures?

So overall I’d say, the ideas of the episode, the structure, the characterizations (mostly), and the overall ideas were good, but it was just very awkward and unfortunate that it chose the... aesthetic that it did--especially because it was very much an aesthetic choice and not a well-thought-out, culturally sensitive one. Gonna be honest and just chalk that up to it being 1968 though.

Next is And the Children Shall Lead, which I actually think was one of the first TOS eps I ever saw... But I don’t remember it at all. So we’ll see!

#the year 2021 #2021: star trek #star trek tos #2021: fandom thoughts

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zevlors-tail · 4 years

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Hi! Could i get a match up with any mha male character. I’m a female about 5’2 and ive got long straight hair. I’m not too shy like i still find it hard to talk to people but if im more comfortable im really talkative. I’m a capricorn. I am really impulsive I once woke up and decided to get three ear piercings. I’m a dancer that specializes in ballet and I love playing the piano and the violin. I also am really clingy and love to cuddle. For the autumn drabble could I get scary movies and rain

I’m SO sorry this took so long. Matchups are so hard for me to do and I was a little too ambitious with adding the drabbles at the end. ;w; Here it is! I hope you like it!

I match you with: Denki Kaminari!

-Maybe you sometimes find it hard to talk to people, but this boy is going to make it incredibly easy for you to feel comfortable with him. He just has that aura to him; it’s like you’re meeting up with a long lost friend you haven’t seen in ages when in reality you barely even know him. But he makes it feel like you’ve known each other since kindergarten, like you two were best friends your whole lives. You two are cozying up to each other in no time.

-Impulsive? PERFECT. Kaminari is that friend who will push you around in a shopping cart through the middle of the store on a dare you made 3 months ago that the two of you suddenly remembered. Honestly, you two wreck so much havoc with each other, even Mina struggles to keep up with your shenanigans. And anything you want to do? He supports it. You want 3 ear piercings? Go for it. Wanna get a tattoo while you’re at it? “Do ittttt!” Honestly, if you need someone to hold you back or keep you in line, don’t expect Denki to be that person. He’s gonna be the exact opposite. If you really need someone to keep you in check, make Bakugou tag along with you; he’s really the only one who can stop the both of you from destroying the whole city.

-Kaminari loves to watch you practice your dancing. He thinks you’re absolutely graceful and could watch you for hours at a time. He never gets tired of it. He gets mesmerized every time you move and wonders how you manage to make him feel like he’s lighter than air. He will 100% come to any and all of your shows if you have them, and will always support you no matter what. Catch him in the front row crying tears of joy because, “That’s my babe up there, that’s my Y/N!” He can and WILL drag the whole Bakusquad along btw. You’ll always have support from your friends. :)

-Also very supportive when it comes to your instruments! Listening to you play makes him very emotional, but in a good way. He could be sobbing while you practice and if you stop and ask him if he’s okay, he just chokes out “I’m fine, please continue!” and gives you his signature thumbs up. He looks anything but fine, although he’s telling the truth; he just wants to hear you play. Kaminari is an emotional guy, and he expresses it freely, so tears are natural. He also has favorites out of the songs he’s heard you play! Sometimes he might request a certain song if he hasn’t heard it in a while. Better yet, if you write him a song of your own or learn a new one in secret to surprise him, he will melt. You’re gonna kill him. No really, you’re going to make him feel so loved.

-Denki is also very clingy and cuddly, so you better prepare for koala hugs and lots of kisses and cuddles. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had the best day of your life, the worst day of your life, or if it was just an average ordinary day, you’ll still get cuddles every single night. And he gives really good ones too; the way he wraps his arms around you and holds you close to him makes you feel the safest you’ve ever felt, like nothing can touch you while you’re with him. He’s also a fan of playing with your hair and giving you head pats. Of course he likes them too, but he likes giving them to you much more than receiving them. The best feeling after a hard day is Denki running a hand through your hair to relax you while you snuggle into his arms.

Fall Drabble: Scary Movies/Rain

This drabble kind of got away from me so now it’s less of a drabble and more of a scenario but oh well-

Heavy rain swirled outside in the wind, water droplets sticking to the window and sliding down slowly as you listened to thunder rumble in the distance. Lightning accompanied it a fraction of a moment later, the flash of light illuminating the whole sky for half a second so you could see the gloomy clouds in full. You and Denki originally had plans to go to a fall festival of sorts, but the two of you had waited too long to get ready to go, and now (a whole half hour later no thanks to charge bolt himself) it was too late; there was no way either of you were going out in this. Even if Denki was immune to lightning, you were not, and the wind and rain both proved challenging foes to your clothes and hair. You would both look like a mess by the time you got there, if you hadn’t fried on the way there.

“Soooo, I guess we’re staying in for the day. No way we’re going to the festival in that,” you said dryly.

“I’m sure we can find other ways to pass the time, babe. We can always catch the festival tomorrow!” Ever the cheerful one, it seemed. That was something you really loved about Kaminari. No matter the situation, he was always willing to find the silver lining.

“I suppose you’re right. Well, what can we do in the mean time then?” you wondered aloud.

“No idea, but this storm sure is getting spooky...” Denki subconsciously scooted closer to you as the wind howled outside, a high pitched sound reverberating through the room as it picked up speed.

“Yeah...”

You both went quiet, Denki’s focus on the storm outside while you thought of ways to pass the time. You would have invited the squad over to hang out, except this was supposed to be date night. You loved your friends, yes, but date night was special to you, and you weren’t exactly in the mood to share your boyfriend with anyone today. So friends were a no go...and you couldn’t go anywhere outside either. That only left a handful of activities. You looked around your room for something useful, anything exciting that you hadn’t already done today. Suddenly your eyes landed on an old ticket stub, namely the one from the very first movie you and Denki had seen together on your first date, and you were struck by an idea.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?”

And that was how the two of you ended up laying on the floor a half hour later, a giant blanket draped over your shoulders and pillows in front of you, popcorn pieces strewn about and cans of soda off to the side as a horror movie played in the background. It had been a while since either of you had seen a proper scary movie, so you agreed on one you hadn’t watched before and started it up without a second thought. The rain in the background helped to enhance the spooky mood for the night, a different sort of darkness seeping in and washing over the room after the lights had been turned off.

A jump scare startled you both a little, causing Kaminari to bump into you gently. You dropped a few pieces of popcorn, and your boyfriend couldn’t keep himself from poking fun at you.

“If you’re scared, Y/N, you can always hold my hand!” He gave you a wide grin and giggled, his tone teasing yet lighthearted. He could never truly give you crap about being spooked by a scary movie, especially when he had been startled himself.

“We’re already holding hands, you goofball!” You nudged him playfully and laughed with him, lightening the mood a bit after the jump scare. Eventually you both returned to watching the movie, your fingers lacing into his as you held hands still.

Fifteen minutes had gone by before the storm really started to pick up outside, wind howling relentlessly and rain pelting against your roof. You and Kaminari were so engrossed in the suspense of the movie that you didn’t notice anything at first; the woman in the film crept closer and closer to the basement door, pitch black coming from open entrance, and the both of you huddled close together as you watched in suspense for something to jump out from the darkness. Suddenly something hard fell against your roof with a loud Thump! followed by several other similar sounding noises, and you and Denki whipped around to look behind you for a culprit, spooked by the horror movie and the strange noise you had just heard. Just as you were about to ask him if he also thought that was hail, the TV shut off unexpectedly with a soft powering down noise, and the both of you were left in complete and total darkness as the storm raged on outside.

“Denki?” It was hard not to notice the tremble in your voice as you spoke quietly.

“I’m right here, love.” Kaminari’s voice wavered slightly as well, though he tried to be strong for you. Both of you were scared, but the least he could do was be there for you.

Down the hall, you could hear your fellow students mulling around in their own dorms and asking if everyone was okay. You put two and two together and realized the storm must have knocked the power out. Without warning, Kirishima thrust open the door to your bedroom and shined a flashlight in, causing the two of you to scream in unison as he finally focused it on your shaking forms.

“Why are you guys screaming?” He tilted his head in question while you tried to gain your bearings, and you secretly decided you would never watch horror movies during a storm ever again. “Yo, Kaminari. We lost power ‘cause of the storm. You think you could give the generator a jump?” The redhead rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, clearly sent over to ask for Denki by someone else.

“Nah, you guys are on your own. It’s date night with my baby, so no can do!”

“Awe, dude, come on! If you send me back with that sort of answer, Bakugou is gonna come storming in here himself!”

“Sorry, man. I’m sure the power won’t be out for that long, anyway. Bakugou can deal with it.

“If you say so. I’ll try my best to sugarcoat it, but expect an angry looking Bakugou sometime in the near future.”

Kirishima turned away with a wary look, trekking back down the hall the way he came. You turned to your boyfriend and snuggled into him, thankful for having such a loyal person as your partner.

“You could have given their generator a jump, you know,” you said softly.

“I know. But then I’d miss out on date night with you, and that wouldn’t be very kind of me, would it? Date night is just for us. They can figure stuff out themselves.”

The two of you sat there for a moment as you held each other before there was a loud crash from down the hall followed by angry stomping sounds.

“KAMINARI I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! OPEN UP!”

#kaminari denki #denki #kaminari #300 follower event #bnha matchup #matchup #anon #anonymous #300 follower special #mha matchup #answered

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fuckyeahqueermusic · 4 years

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FY!QM’s Favorite Releases of 2019 Part 1

I know you were all waiting with bated breath for my annual list of favorite releases from the year and I apologize for the delay. December and January were trash months at my job and I had zero energy to write, but as of today that is all over! So as a gift to myself I finally finished writing this up. Let’s pretend I just had to think really really hard about my favorites and that’s why it took so long.

Part 1 is all the releases that I really liked, but either a.) are kinda honorable mention material or b.) I couldn’t think of a ton to write about it lol. They’re in no particular order because I do not care! You should go listen to all these! The usual disclaimer applies: these are just my favorite records from this year, I am no authority on what is the best and what isn’t, I just am an expert on what I like, and it’s this shit. All album titles link to my favorite song off of each record on bandcamp because I hate Spotify a lot even though I begrudgingly use it.

Part 2 will come out tomorrow because I really want to capitalize on the Super Bowl, y’know?

The Menzingers — Hello Exile I think it is safe to say at this point that The Menzingers is one of guitar music’s most consistently good acts. They are passionate sing-a-long creating machines, and with Hello Exile they gave us a new heap of them to yell along to at their shows. And having seen them play some of these live, I can confirm they are perfect for that setting.

My only criticism of Hello Exile might be that it doesn’t go anywhere unexpected, and the band is maybe a little too comfortable in the niche they’ve found for themselves. Though I guess there is something to be said for doing what you know and doing it incredibly well. But these guys are great songwriters, and I’d love to see them push themselves a little harder to evolve.

Empath — Active Listening: Night on Earth I saw Empath open for Touche Amore and La Dispute a few months back and had no idea what to expect, but they fucking RIPPED and were far and away the best band on that bill (no offense to LD or TA. Actually maybe to LD; one of them had a fucking himalayan salt lamp sitting on their amp).

But anyways, Empath is fucking weird and chaotic and so much fucking fun, with bizarre synth textures, harsh guitar, and absolutely frantic drumming. And this album is all over the place, holding itself together with a through line of nature samples, bringing small moments of calm and a chance to breathe before everything comes crashing down again. I’d love to see them at a headlining show full of their fans, because this is music that deserves that kind of energy.

Catbite — S/T I love ska and I will never apologize. Catbite is one of the most exciting new ska bands out there. They’ve only been around for two years, but they’ve already found their niche and solidified their identity as a heavily second wave influenced band that grew up in the third wave, who are the forefront of the fourth. They’re the future of ska and I am so pumped to see them eventually get the full recognition they deserve in this genre.

Future Teens — Heartbreak Season I truly cannot believe “Frequent Crier” bops as hard as it does. This song about all the places to cry while you lament a relationship that ended years ago will have you dancing while you weep, and that pretty much sums up Future Teens’ whole deal. This album can gut you, but you’ll be so busy bopping along you won’t even mind.

Aaron West & the Roaring Twenties — Routine Maintenance I know it’s cheating, but you should just read what Spencer wrote about this album; he put it perfectly. While I don’t immediately love this one as much as We Don’t Have Each Other (I love a divorce album and it is a top tier divorce album), it is the better record, and I’m so glad Aaron has started to figure out his new place in the world and that Dan Campbell is telling us his story.

Aly & AJ — Sanctuary The cover of this EP is truly one of the worst album covers I have ever seen. I like to describe it to people as “naked opera gloves milk bath. Also they are SISTERS.” Every art direction decision they have made for this EP has been truly bonkers! But despite the horrendous, horrendous cover, Aly & AJ have come through with a tremendous set of jams once again! I am not sure how it happened, but between 2017’s Ten Years and this EP, they have become one of my favorite pop acts, creating mid-tempo synthy jam after mid-tempo synthy jam. They are far from reinventing the pop wheel, but they have figured out their niche and perfected it. If you haven’t listened to Aly & AJ since “Potential Break Up Song,” it’s time to dive back in, because you’ve been missing some of the most solid pop made in the 2010’s. (Also, they believe in evolution now it’s FINE).

Sleater-Kinney — The Center Won’t Hold Okay, so this one is a cheat, because The Center Won’t Hold is not one of my favorite albums of the year, but the more time I spend with it, the more it has become my most respected album of the year.

I don’t really like this record, but I do think it is a great album. It is ambitious and surprising, a huge departure from their previous work, which critics and fans much smarter than me have examined at length. Sleater-Kinney could’ve easily crafted another album like No Cities To Love, which itself was an evolution from the sound they departed with on 2006’s The Woods, but it was an evolution that felt natural. It was easy to see point A to point B. With The Center Won’t Hold, point C is way on the other side of the map, and there is no easily discernible direct route. And while whatever is happening on this record isn’t totally my thing, I respect that they took a big swing. It’s a huge shame that it cost them Janet Weiss, though, and I don’t know if that is a loss they’ll ever truly recover from

#fy!qm's favorite albums of 2019 #the menzingers #empath #catbite #future teens #aaron west and the roaring twenties #aly and aj #sleater-kinney

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flying-elliska · 5 years

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What are the important bisexual characters that you said helped you? I am having a hard time finding good bi representation in which they aren’t considered promiscuous or unstable

Hiya anon ! What a quality question, thank you ! Here’s another mini essay about bi rep lmao. If there are some that I forgot please tell me ! And to everyone, tell me about the bi characters who made an impact on your life, I’d love to know !!!!

Okay so.

- When I answered the anon and talked about the characters that helped me come to terms with my sexuality, I talked about two in particular. Jack Harkness from Torchwood is depicted as very promiscuous, and somewhat instable. He still meant a lot to me because a) him sleeping around was never that much of a problem, it was because he was from the future, where things were different, which I thought was refreshing and b) his instability was because of the weight of being an immortal hero. Also fanon!Dean Winchester from SPN, as an older, more macho, emotionally witholding, badass dude written as bi meant a lot to me, but he doesn’t really avoid that stereotype either. But at least they were heroes. However, I can understand wanting bi characters that actually don’t fit that stereotype, because bi people irl aren’t all like that, even if there is nothing wrong per se about sleeping with a lot of different people, or having mental issues to struggle with. And that was a while ago and now we have more and more cool characters ! Such as :

- Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. One of the best portrayals of bisexuality on TV imho. She didn’t start out as bi, she was this tough, cool, scary but with a heart of gold cop who had a lot of other plotlines before. But then, since they saw that a lot of wlw got this vibe from her, were really into her, and the actress came out as bi herself, they decided to use this. So it was super organic, and the way they introduced the subject was true to Rosa herself ; she’s a super private person, she doesn’t like anybody knowing about her life (it’s actually a running joke and Rosa Diaz has been implied to not even be her real name). But then she is dating a woman, and struggles with her parents not understanding and her coworkers find out, help her and support her. Her gay captain is there for her in his typical stoic but hilarious way. They organize game night with her when her parents won’t anymore. We see her crushing on women and dating, but it is treated exactly as the other character’s love life, they never make a big deal out of it. She isn’t the token queer character. She says outright she is bisexual and there is a specific point about her mom not understanding it’s not a phase and thinking she’ll end up with a man anyway, which #relatable. The focus is on the team as found family. Also right now she’s dating a butch woman, which is awesome since they are so underrepresented on TV and I hope we see more of her. That show really is my comfort show, it’s still bloodly hilarious and it really transcends the format to say some really deep woke stuff too, but never in a way that feels on the nose. Everyone should watch it tbh.

- Korrasami ! Oh my god, I was so blown away when they got together. They’re two characters from the animated series Legend of Korra, they start out as rivals in love who have feelings for the same guy, but as they have to fight baddies together, they become bestest of friends, and both fall out of love with the guy. Then in season 3 and 4, their relationship becomes central to the show, as Asami stands by Korra through some really tough shit. Also, they’re both ultra badass and fight really well together. A lot of fans started reading their chemistry as romantic, but we’d never thought they’d actually go there. But the show ends with them walking into the ‘sunset’ (well, the spirit lands) together, holding hands. Now, it was never completely explicit on the show BUT they were dealing with a lot of censure from the networks and you have to be willingly obtuse not to read it as romantic. And after that the creators drew them on dates, and there is a comic series in which they are shown kissing, talking about their feelings, introducing each other to their families, etc. It made me feel so validated when it happened, and I just adore the whole ‘love triangle ditches the middle one and fall in gay love with each other’ trope. (is it a trope yet ? it should be.) It’s still a kids show at its core, but it has amazing depth and deals with some very deep shit. Korra starts off as a bit annoying but she has a really cool development, she’s a girl character we need more of - brave, dynamic but also brash and reckless and action driven in ways that are almost always exclusively shown for boys. And Asami is a more typical girly girl but she’s also a brilliant engineer and has a spine of steel and she’s also very slyly funny. They’re amazing. And the comics are super cute.

- Now there are a lot of characters who are bi/pan that I love, and are good characters in themselves, but their arcs do intersect in some ways with promiscuity and mental instability. I’m thinking about Even from Skam and all his remake variants, Magnus Bane from Shadowhunters, several characters from Black Sails, Sarah Lance and Constantine from Legends of Tomorrow, Eleanor Shellstrop from the Good Place, Bo from Lost Girl, Ilana from Broad City, Joe McMillan from Halt and Catch Fire, God/Chuck from Supernatural (lmaooooo), several characters on Penny Dreadful, or in a totally different category, Vilanelle from Killing Eve or Hannibal from the series (who are hella bad guys but it’s never linked to their sexuality, and are also incredibly compelling to watch.)

And even though these characters taken individually, I would argue, are good rep because they’re complex and layered and interesting and never one-dimensional (and watching them feels incredibly empowering at times)....it’s still a trend. I feel like when writing a character that is attracted to multiple genders, there is always this sort of...tangle of tropes that writers default to, unconsciously. Some negative and some positive. It used to be this trope of bis being villainous, instable, jealous, flaky, immature, perverted, manipulative, cheaters, amoral, greey, etc...and then it evolved into something of a reclaiming and subverting this trope. So now you feel like the Bi Character kind of has to be badass, glamorous, seductive, often superpowered or extraordinary in other ways.. And they also for multiple reasons (they’re immortal, they’re sensitive artist souls, they’re from the future, they’re psycho, they’re exccentric comic relief, they’re daring adventurers and pioneers) don’t care about social norms which allows them to sleep and fall in love with whomever. And so they tend to have those super busy romantic/sexual histories and very troubled backstories. In the past it was a bad thing, now it’s often presented as this positive, enlightened or at least fun and badass thing. They’re heroic, with big hearts, a tremendous lust for life and a cool rebellious attitude. They’re complex, dramatic, tortured. Which can be super cool, too.

But it would be nice to have more ‘normal’ bi characters. I mean, boring bisexuals need to see themselves represented too ! Our sexualities don’t give us super powers. At the same time, it is true that bisexual ppl have higher rates of mental illness, which deserves to be explored, but it would be nice if it was actually articulated and not just part of this trope. But still. We need rep, I think, that is more grounded and varied. So I think that’s also why I read a lot of fanfic. (I was really into the idea of bi Steve Rogers for a long time, partly also because he’s both very mentally resilient, kinda boring in a good way, and very unexperienced in terms of sex/romance, which is pretty much the opposite of the trope)

- I think books, and YA in general, are a good place to find these ‘normal bis’ characters. I’m thinking in particular of Leah from Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (from the same book series that gave us the ‘Love, Simon’ movie) which is a super sweet coming of age/romance story about a super normal teenager who just happens to be also into girls (esp her best friend) and is loud and funny and very lovable and has zero doubts about being bi. You also have Adam Parrish from the Raven Cycle, another one of my forever faves ; he has an abusive family so PTSD from that but it never feels tropey, and it’s completely detached from his sexuality. He has magic powers, too. But his character feels completely opposite to the trope. He’s hardworking, somewhat withholding, prickly (and sometimes awkward), ambitious, determined, down to earth, and has a beautiful love story with another boy. And also Jane, from Jane Unlimited by Kristin Cashore, also really cool ; she’s a nerdy, smart girl who is actually inspired by Jane Eyre who has cool adventures in a weird house where we can follow her on different paths depending on the choices she makes, several of which are love stories. And finally the main character from The Seven Husbands from Evelyn Hugo, kinda fits the trope yeahhh since she’s a super glam actress who well, has seven husbands but it’s a pretty clever deconstruction since it turns out (slight spoilers) that Evelyn is actually through most of her life faithful in heart to the same person and the rest is mostly out of necessity, and her story feels very real and raw and down to earth.

- I don’t go there yet but I really want to check out Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and Schitt’s Creek which I have read have very good bi rep. And I want to catch up on Orphan Black (Cosima and Delphine both don’t have exact labels but they’re multi-gender attracted and they’re this cool couple of scientists in a relationship that gets a happy ending). I will never forgive what they did to Lexa so I stopped watching but I do think that Clarke Griffin from The 100 is very good bi rep. Alexia from Skam France, meanwhile, is a bit of a boundary case for me because, even though she’s presented as the ‘weird one’ from the group, very colorful and liberated and exccentric, she’s still a very normal teen who’s happy and comfortable in her own skin, which is awesome.

- Disclaimer, I included characters in here that are also pan/omnisexual or don’t have a label but are attracted to several genders, for the purpose of this discussion i don’t think the difference is all that relevant at least to me (i mostly identify as bi for the sake of simplicity but tbh i could also fit under pan so i feel represented by all those characters). But I understand the importance of characters that state their identities more clearly and with pride.

- So in conclusion : there is nothing wrong with having a sexually active life or struggling mentally (even tho that one is not fun). And I do love all my badass casanova time travelling super powered bis.

But we need more bi characters that don’t fit that trope. We need bi characters in children’s shows, or that don’t have more than one relationship, or that don’t have a relationship at all, to break the tendency to always show bisexual ppl as overly sexual. We need bi characters in committed relationships to break this idea that bi characters are bound to cheat or can’t be satisified with only one person. We need bi characters that are mentally stable and successful and happy, to show that it’s possible. We need bi characters that are boring, bookish, nerdy, ordinary, clumsy, not particularly seductive, socially awkward, rule-sticklers, etc...to show that bi people are not all party animals, or doing it for attention, or to be wild, rebellious and socially progressive. It’s just a sexuality, it doesn’t say anything about your personality. Even though there are some correlations with MI or being bi might bring you in contact with more progressive ideas and to see life a bit differently, there is nothing automatic about it.

- In conclusion, reading testimonies from real people also helped me a lot. It’s a very dated but I got the book “ Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out “ when I was struggling with my own sexuality and it helped a lot, to read that even back then (1991) you had all sorts of regular ppl claiming to be bi and that it was not a phase or a fad or whatever.

#bisexuality #bi rep #media representation #bi pride #lgbt #bi characters

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artificialqueens · 5 years

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Beyond My Wildest Dreams, Ch.2 (Nina West/OC) - multifandomgeek

A/N: Thank you to the kind @alexandriabelle1 for being my first beta ever <3

ao3

Pride season had always been a busy time for Nina. Not only it was a time where the queer community came together stronger than usual, but it also brought the mainstream spotlight to their issues, every year more so than the previous, and Nina was gonna be damned if she didn’t take this opportunity to highlight important topics and engage people in important initiatives.

This year, however, was absolutely crazy! Her popularity was insane, the projects she was doing barely one week in were already so successful she didn’t even know where to put how fucking grateful she was for all of this. She was in drag practically every day. She did parades in heels, talked to people, chanted political rhymes, performed in front of crowds bigger than she ever had before. Living her best life didn’t even begin to describe it.

Somewhere in the middle of June, she was in Columbus (she wasn’t even gonna pretend she knew the date), glad to be home even though the workload there was bigger because of all the partnerships and projects pre-Drag Race. She had a meeting with the people from the Nina West Foundation today. They were gonna talk about the results of the videos they were releasing about the charities they worked with, and apparently Kevin had a briefing to present to Nina, a big idea that promised to use her fame to bring in big money.

Nina would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous about seeing Kevin. She hadn’t seen him in person in a while, though they kept talking pretty frequently even with Nina as busy as she was. Brooke asked her about him now and then and fueled her hope that her feelings weren’t one-sided. It had been a cute fantasy to entertain in her head until now, but she felt incredibly self-conscious about seeing the man in person. She was sure she was going to embarrass herself some way or another, and her mind was already going from “maybe he’ll kiss me” to “what if he shows up with a boyfriend?” while she put way too much thought on what she was wearing while getting ready.

The Foundation was more of an idea than an actual place, and for today they were using a meeting room in one of Nina’s friend’s office. The room had a big oval table with about a dozen chairs and a good structure for projections, conference calls, the sort of business things you could eventually need, but other than that it wasn’t especially fancy. Nina got there about 5 minutes earlier than necessary, opening the door to see Kevin already settled in, frowning in concentration while hunched down in front of his laptop. Nina smiled fondly and sighed, feeling like a teenage girl and basking in it.

“Hey,” said Nina gently, managing to startle Kevin anyway. She chuckled.

“Nina!” said Kevin with a wide smile, getting up and rounding the table to hug Nina tightly. God, he smelled so good. “Come here, come see the new project,” he said, pulling her to sit beside him by the computer, “Steven is gonna be a little late with the girls, and I’ll do the whole projection thing for everybody, but I can’t wait to show you,” he finished excitedly, fiddling with the touchpad to put up a powerpoint presentation. Nina caught herself staring at his face and promptly looked at the screen just as he started explaining.

The idea was definitely ambitious, almost arrogantly so, and call Nina crazy, but she thought they could make it happen. It would take time and a lot of behind the scenes preparations, they would need a few more extra hands to help with the technology aspect of it, and if that went wrong the whole thing would be a disaster. Even so, they could prepare well, have lots of backup plans. It definitely had a good chance to go right. She had seen what the fans could do, this could definitely happen!

“We’ll need you fully on board with this, though,” said Kevin, looking at Nina expectantly, “You’re gonna have to be the one making calls and bringing the big people in. Without you, and without them, it doesn’t go anywhere.”

“Are you kidding me, of course I’m on board with it! I can already think of half a dozen people that would agree from the top of my head! And the fact that it’s all digital, I mean, just the schedule issues that would avoid… I even think we can top your initial numbers!” her mind was already planning schedules and making lists and rehearsing convincing speeches.

“You’re amazing, Andrew,” said Kevin quietly. Nina looked up from the computer to see him staring at her with a sweet smile on the corner of his mouth. Her heart fluttered.

“You are the amazing one. I could never think of something like this by myself,” responded Nina, reaching for his hand. She was in awe with this idea, it was genius! As if she needed another reason to like Kevin.

They were staring at each other, and suddenly the excitement gave place to tension. Kevin squeezed Nina’s hand firmly, caressing the back of it lightly, sending shivers through Nina’s arm. She searched into his green eyes for any sign that she was reading this wrong, and found none. Nina licked her lips. She was gonna do it, she was gonna kiss him.

Then, the door opened.

Luckily, the group of people that entered the room was too engrossed in their own conversation to notice if they interrupted something. Kevin looked down and bit back an adorable shy smile, squeezing Nina’s hand one more time before letting it go. Nina just adjusted her seat to be a little further away from him, trying to force her mind back into focus when the only thing she wanted to think about was how the warm lips from the man beside her would taste.

The meeting went on as planned. They discussed the foundation’s past month or so, their actions for Pride, and Kevin presented the new project by the end. He did it in a more structured and professional way than he did to Nina, which made her think he was comfortable around her, instigating a bubbly feeling in her chest. Everybody was excited about the idea, but the others were a bit more down to earth than Nina had been, and the rest of their time boiled down to planning and budgeting and building a timeline for it.

Nina had to leave before they finished in order to make it in time for a gig. It pained her to think that maybe if she had stayed, she and Kevin could have gone for coffee after the meeting and picked up where they left off, but she had no choice. Just the thought, however, that they had been that close to really kissing, that Kevin would kiss her back, touch her, that she would know for sure he liked her back, oh it was so nice. Plus, that project? If they really could pull it off, it could even become an annual thing! There was so much hope inside of Nina that the only thing she could do was share it away, and that made her go into the gig in full power, giving the public her all and leaving them with a sense of satisfaction she hadn’t felt in a while.

When her day finally ended, she was laughing with one of her local queen friends as they made their way to the dressing rooms. The club was still somewhat full despite the late hour, so when someone touched Nina’s arm to ask if she had time for one more fan, she was ready to turn away another drunk person politely until she met a pair of familiar green eyes, squished with a smile, and all but swooned.

“Kevin, hi,” said Nina, forgetting all about her friend, who took the clue and kept walking by herself. “What are you doing here? You don’t even like clubs.”

“I don’t, yeah,” he said, shrugging, “but I didn’t know when you were leaving again, so,” he finished, looking away shyly. Nina’s smile was so wide it was starting to ache.

“I’m in town until Wednesday,” she said. “I like that you came here though, that’s very sweet. I may have a little free time tomorrow if you want to maybe grab a coffee with me,” she asked, touching the back of his hand with her knuckles. He was looking at her again with those eyes and she was getting drowned in them. “Or ice cream. I’m an ice cream now. I’m very delicious if I say so myself,” she said, touching her fluffy hair with playful pride.

“I’d love to taste you,” said Kevin waggling his eyebrows, eliciting a full belly laugh from Nina. “Come here,” he said, pulling her by the hand and guiding her to the back of the stage. Nina went willingly, if confused.

“What are you doing?” she asked, still laughing a little.

“I’m finding a step,” he said, climbing one of the few steps leading to the back of the stage. He turned to Nina and pulled her close, now barely an inch taller than her in her high heels. He touched her face, and her smile faltered. “You’re too tall in drag for me to do this like I wanted,” said Kevin, keeping one hand softly on Nina’s cheek while the other lifted her chin, barely, to place a soft kiss on her lips.

Nina felt like a princess. Her eyes fluttered closed and her hands moved to his waist, steadying her as Kevin kissed and touched her like she was made of glass, a precious, soft thing. Nina was not a delicate man, nor a delicate woman, or a delicate drag-queen, and although she had loved and been loved many times in her life, she couldn’t recall ever being touched like that. It took her breath away.

Kevin pulled back, all half-lidded and dreamy, still touching Nina’s face. She smiled closed-mouthed, feeling her insides all bubbly.

“You have my lipgloss all over your mouth now,” said Nina, chuckling. Kevin reached to clean the corner of his mouth, not tackling even 1% of the problem. Nina giggled, and tried to help him, but ended up just smearing the bright purple all over his juicy lips even more. He was trying to keep still but was also giggling. “Ok, that didn’t help at all. You look cute, though.”

“Hmmm I might as well get them dirtier them,” he said, leaning down to kiss Nina again. Her mouth closed against his tightly while her chest still shook with laughter, but it soon died down, especially when Kevin tilted his head and his hand traveled to her back to pull her closer. Nina was loving the softness, but she also loved the added pressure and the tease of the tongue.

She was, however, still in drag. She couldn’t feel his chest against hers because of her fake boobs, some parts of her body were numb by now, and when his hand touched her neck it went too far and unbalanced her wig. She pulled back, resisting the urge to nuzzle him and get a little foundation to match his lipgloss.

“I have to de-drag,” she said. He nodded. “Come with me so I can get a wipe for you. Unless you wanna rock the gloss, I mean…”

“I think it’ll work better if I apply directly from the bottle? Unless it’s a new trend I’m not aware of,” said Kevin, stepping down from the stage stairs to follow Nina to the dressing room. She forgot he was perched up there. It was funny.

“Who knows, the beauty gurus are full of surprises these days,” she opened the door and entered the room with Kevin right behind. She didn’t even think about the other queens undressing there, going directly to her things and looking for her wipes. Kevin followed hesitantly, trying to avert his gaze from the other people in various states of undress also in the room. “Don’t worry, they’re used to people coming and going,” said Nina, bringing the wipe to his mouth and cleaning it easily. She had to crouch, only remembering to take off her shoes after she was done. “There you go, no evidence of the crime now,” she said with a smile, throwing the wipe away and kicking her shoes to the side.

“Can I help you with it?” he asked, pointing at the general direction of her stuff, taking Nina by surprise.

“Nah, I’m good, I do this every day,” she said dismissively.

“I know you don’t need it,” he said quietly, still wary of the other people around them. “I want to.” Nina was done, melted into a puddle on the floor. “But, I mean, I don’t wanna bother you, of course,” he said, flustered, like it occurred to him Nina might not want him there and he should leave immediately.

“Stay,” said Nina, grabbing his arm gently, her smile completely gone. Somehow, it made her feel vulnerable. Kevin smiled only with his eyes, which was maybe just as beautiful as the full-mouthed one.

Nina turned around and asked for his help with her zipper. She wasn’t getting naked, there were quite a few layers until that, but the gesture made her feel like she was. As if her prom date was taking her gown off at the end of the night, and not as if the guy she liked was going to see her in a weird state of under-drag in a room full of other people.

Once her dress was folded up and stored in her suitcase, she pulled up a stool for Kevin to sit behind her, instructing him on how to loosen up her corset while she took her wig and lashes off. They small talked while they did it, and Nina kept looking at his face in the mirror, the same frown of concentration she caught him with earlier on the day, creasing his forehead. She let him work on it for more than was strictly necessary, and once he was done with that there wasn’t much he could do except organize her things while she wiped her make-up away and pulled off her undergarments. She made sure he wouldn’t touch those, they didn’t need that level of gross-smells-intimacy just yet. He also turned away for the naked part of the process and pretended to fiddle with her brushes, which was a real gentleman move.

Kevin did get to see Nina shirtless though, which almost made her say she deserved to see him shirtless too, but she bit it back. She caught him looking at the red marks left by drag with some kind of worry, and thought maybe he wanted to touch them but refrained to. She would have liked it if he did.

It was different than having an assistant or a friend helping her out. There was a sense of calm and care she wasn’t used to, something warm and gentle that turned routine into affection. In the end, the process was over way sooner than Nina wanted it to be.

It occurred to her, however, that now she could very well invite him over to her place, and that thought brought a whole new excitement with it. She hurriedly asked him to wait while she said goodbye to the queens and staff.

“Now that’s the kind of trade I deserve, honey,” Nina heard a voice say while she made her way back to Kevin after properly talking to everybody. “Hot and useful? Where can I get a piece of that?”

“Nina’s a Ru girl now, baby, they bend over backwards for them,” responded another voice. It made Nina uneasy. She looked around but couldn’t pinpoint who said it.

Kevin wasn’t just some trade, and he wasn’t helping Nina to get in her pants. He could get in her pants any time of day without lifting a finger. It bothered her that people saw a moment so tender and twisted it into something sexually-founded. He didn’t even care if she was a Ru-girl or not. Right? Ok, now she was getting paranoid.

Kevin was leaning against the wall by the time she came back to him, looking down. He was close enough that Nina lost all hope he hadn’t heard the same comments she did. She didn’t know what to say about it.

“You ready to go?” he asked with a smile when he noticed her close, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Nina nodded, getting her suitcase and following him to his car. He had promised her a ride home since he hadn’t drank, and she just had to let her friends know. They were silent, there was tension and not the good kind.

Goddamnit.

#rpdr fanfiction #nina west #oc #fluff #beyond my wildest dreams #multifandomgeek #concrit welcome #nina x oc #canon compliant #tour fic #s11

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pivitor · 5 years

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My Top 10 Favorite Albums of 2018

When it comes to music, ideas of "good" or "bad" or "best" are purely subjective. Frankly, it's ridiculous to suggest that any one person, or even any one group, has the authority to decide what the best albums of the year are, even if they did have the capacity to listen to every single release. But I love these kind of lists anyway because, at their best, they provide people the chance to gush about the music they loved in a year, the albums that challenged them, brought them joy, and helped reshape their lives. I don't necessarily think music should be ranked and judged, but it absolutely should be explored, examined, and shared.

The following is exactly that. These are my ten favorite albums of 2018, the ten albums I spent the most time with, got the most out of, and loved more than anything else released this year (that I had a chance to listen to, at least). If you've heard some of these albums before, I hope I can help you find something new to appreciate, or at least remind you why you liked them in the first place; if you haven't, then I hope you find a new song, band, or album here to love.

Let's get to it:

10. MXPX -- MXPX: There were a few really strong albums competing for this final slot, but MXPX took it through sheer consistency. Every single song on this album is just an incredibly solid block of pop-punk, bolstered by some fun, yet often unexpectedly mature, lyrics. Mike Herrera and the rest of MXPX look backwards and forward simultaneously, reminiscing about their childhood and long history as a band, but also sharing the lessons they've learned along the way; on album stand-out "Moments Like This," Herrera specifically confronts the legacy he's leaving his family, and it's surprisingly poignant. MXPX is a blueprint for how any pop-punk band can mature without losing that youthful spark that makes the genre so dang fun in the first place.

Highlights: Rolling Strong, The Way We Do, Moments Like This

9. Justin Courtney Pierre -- In The Drink: Two grueling years after the demise of Motion City Soundtrack (one of my Top Five favorite bands), former frontman Justin Courtney Pierre has returned with a solo album that manages to capture much of the spirit of MCS, but of course, with a more personal, intimate spin. Pierre still graces listeners with his intricate wordplay and earworm hooks, but also highlights some techniques and instruments that rarely took prominence in MCS (the bouncy bass in "Shoulder the Weight" is a personal favorite). In The Drink cuts right to the core of every song, especially in the exhilarating title track; the album is blistering, economical, and often ruthless, not just musically (only two songs clock in at over three minutes), but also lyrically, examining some surprisingly dark scenarios with the honesty and careful empathy fans have come to expect from Pierre. It's great to have him back (I still miss Jesse's MOOG, though).

Highlights: Anchor, Shoulder the Weight, In The Drink

8. Jeff Rosenstock -- Post-: The first album of 2018 (seriously -- Post- was a surprise release on 1/1/18) remained urgent, relevant, and relatable throughout the entire year -- that's not good for the world, but it's great for Post-. Jeff Rosenstock's social commentary is as sharp as ever, deftly mixing the political and the personal, especially in tracks like opener "USA," which dives head-first into the paranoia, apathy, and hypocrisy of modern American living. The frustration and hopelessness of trying to change a broken system coats this album like dew, but Rosenstock's approachable and energetic strain of punk make them seem manageable -- or at least bearable -- nonetheless, and closer "Let Them Win" provides much needed catharsis and hope; it's a rally cry for a better future. Post- wasn't necessarily the follow-up to Worry. that anyone expected, but it's certainly the one we needed, right when we needed it.

Highlights: Powerlessness, 9/10, Let Them Win

7. The Penske File -- Salvation: Out of all the albums on this list, Salvation by far was the biggest (and happiest) surprise. Having never heard of them before, I saw The Penske File open for (the irresistibly fun) PKEW PKEW PKEW back in October and was blown away by their harmonies, by Alex Standen's ability to balance drums and lead vocals at the same time, and most of all, by a song that dug its way into my head and wouldn't let go. That song turned out to be album stand-out "Spin My History" (easily one of my top favorite new songs of the year), and thankfully, all the best aspects of The Penske File's live show translated perfectly over to Salvation. The vocals are the perfect combination of intensity, melody, and harmony; the lyrics expertly capture and unpack moments in time; the music itself (especially when accompanied by harmonica, which pops up in a few songs) wonderfully reflects the mood of each song, be it the reckless abandon of "Lakeshore" or the aching nostalgia of "American Basements." Thanks to Salvation, I could easily see The Penske File following in the blue collar punk footsteps of bands like the Menzingers, and that's high praise indeed.

Highlights: Spin My History, Come What May, Blessed Unrest

6. Joyce Manor -- Million Dollars to Kill Me: Joyce Manor has never been a band content to make the same album twice, and Million Dollars to Kill Me not only continues the musical evolution that began on 2016's Cody, but manages to run an entire musical gamut in under 25 minutes. Million Dollars to Kill Me shows off Joyce Manor's impressive range, leaping from something approaching hardcore ("Up The Punks") to shoegaze ("Gone Tomorrow") to ballads ("I'm Not the One") to even doo wop ("Silly Games"); lead singer Barry Johnson likewise moves between the frenetic, frantic yowls of "Up The Punks" or "Big Lie" to the gentle, sing-songy joy of "Wildflowers," revealing new facets to his voice and thus finding new notes for Joyce Manor to hit. Underneath it all, though, lies some wonderfully classic emo, with Johnson channeling intelligent, introspective, and bittersweet lyrics into each and every track. Not every song on Million Dollars to Kill Me is going to work for every listener, but every single one of them is guaranteed to leave an impression.

Highlights: Big Lie, Million Dollars to Kill Me, Wildflowers

5. Bad Moves -- Tell No One: On first listen, it might be Tell No One's flawless harmonies that most catch your attention, or perhaps the bouncy, infectious melodies of its early tracks. Spend some time with it, though, and Tell No One has so much more to offer. Bad Moves makes some truly ambitious musical leaps here, especially on tracks like "Out of Reach," whose bridge and outro layers several different, contrasting harmonies over a darkly ominous riff; it's the musical equivalent of standing at the edge of a hurricane, and it's exhilarating. Ultimately, though, it may be Tell No One's lyrics that leave the greatest impression. Bad Moves creates anthems for those on the outskirts of society; Tell No One features songs about dealing with disappointing your family, forbidden romances, dark family secrets, growing up queer, facing police harassment, and the toll hiding parts of yourself can take on you, but also some uplifting tracks about using everything you've got to make life better for everyone around you. There's albums I liked more this year, but I don't think there's any lyrics that hit home for me harder than the ones on Tell No One.

Highlights: Spirit FM, Out of Reach, Missing You

4. The Get Up Kids -- Kicker: Kicker is the Get Up Kids record I've wanted for more than a decade now; it's a band recapturing lightning in a bottle. The first three tracks channel the pop-punk glory of the Red Letter Day/Something to Write Home About era without copying it wholesale (there's a rawness to the guitars and Matt Pryor's voice that was absent on those releases; it's very rock and roll), and the lyrics take that trademark Get Up Kids earnestness and update it for 2018, with Pryor and Jim Suptic tackling topics like regret, responsibility, and family with the same honesty and emotional intensity they once saved for tales of adolescent love and heartbreak. And then comes the closer, "My Own Reflection," which sounds like nothing the Get Up Kids have ever done before, a track driven by one of James Dewees' best synth-lines, some propulsive drums, and a striking, surprising bit of profanity. It's somehow upbeat and downbeat simultaneously, totally bittersweet, and thus emo in a nutshell, while also transcending so many of the genre's (and this band's) most common cliches; if these four songs are the future of the Get Up Kids, then it's a bright one indeed. The main reason Kicker isn't ranked higher on this list is because it's an EP rather than a full record (it's harder to keep this level of quality up for 12 tracks instead of 4), but let's not mince words: every single song on this EP is perfect.

Highlight: My Own Reflection

3. Save Face -- Merci: Merci would be ambitious even if it wasn't Save Face's debut release -- it's a concept album about addiction and the way it can destroy lives and relationships, accompanied by music videos for each and every track, linking together to form a visual novel of sorts. What's even more impressive than all that ambition, though, is the fact that it all works -- the overall concept forms a compelling narrative on its own, but should still resonate with anyone who's dealt with addiction or mental illness, with heartbreak and loss, with self-hatred or self-destructive habits. All those ideas are packaged within some truly explosive tunes -- Save Face's riffs are so big it's a wonder they can even be contained within the record, and singer Tyler Povanda's voice cracks with passion and mania, accompanied by some cathartic, soul-piercing screams, yet Povanda also has the range to capture the smaller, more nuanced emotions beneath all the outsized drama. The simple melodies reveal more and more layers the more you listen to them, creating a record I've returned to over and over, consistently, throughout 2018. Merci is almost as addictive as the substances its songs highlights, although in this case, that's a feature, not a bug.

Highlights: Bad, Plans, Love

2. Saves the Day -- 9: There's a line from their song "It's Such a Beautiful World" that sums up both Saves the Day and their newest album, 9, perfectly: "Let them say what they say/we're gonna play what we play." That instinct has proven polarizing at times, but as an absolute Saves the Day fanatic, I've always found it a joy and privilege to join the band as they follow their muse, and thankfully, 9 is no exception. 9 is an investigation and celebration of Saves the Day's history and legacy; some listeners have criticized this as being self-indulgent, but Saves the Day has always been a band that's channeled very specific scenarios into relatable and cathartic emotion, and at its best, 9 does just that, from the power and joy of friendship ("Side By Side") to nostalgia and the way our experiences help us change and grow ("Rendezvous"), all of it wrapped up in the power music has to bring people together (and if that last point's not something you can appreciate, then I'm not sure how you even found this list). Meanwhile, "Rosé'" provides a classic Saves the Day diss track that wouldn't feel that out of place on Stay What You Are, while the 22 minute "29" transforms frontman Chris Conley's entire life story into a sprawling epic that needs to be heard to believed. 9 also provides an opportunity for each and every member of the band to show off; lead guitarist Arun Bali continues to highlight his ability to shred in increasingly cool and unique ways, Rodrigo Palma sneaks fun bass flourishes into every song, absolutely taking charge of "1997," and Conley stretches his voice to unexpected heights, be it the yowls of "Side By Side" or the falsetto of "Saves the Day." Hell, they even kick 9 off by writing their own theme song. If you can't appreciate that, this probably isn't the album for you, but man, that is my exact kind of jam.

Highlights: Side By Side, Rosé, 29

1. The Wonder Years -- Sister Cities: I can't remember the last time I've seen an album become an essential part of a band's canon as fast as Sister Cities has, especially considering how far The Wonder Years are into their career at this point. Sister Cities is undeniably a Wonder Years album despite sounding almost nothing like what's come before, and in large part, that's due to Dan Campbell's sheer skill as a storyteller. The songs on Sister Cities pick up the ideas of compassion, connectivity, and home introduced on previous albums and take them global; Campbell discovers the similarities between his relationship and the relationship of a homeless couple despite all their differences, finds a lifeline from his overwhelming grief half a world away, and just overall finds power in exploring what holds us together as human beings rather than what splits us apart. Even the music videos tap hard into these ideas; last winter I wrote about how the video for "Sister Cities" finds power in connection, and its follow up, "Raining in Kyoto," expands upon this by cutting back and forth between life in Kyoto and Philadelphia, showing how, no matter where you go, people are just trying to live their lives the best they can. Lyrically, Campbell just keeps getting better and better, creating vivid metaphors and word pictures and finding perfect turns of phrases; he's straight-up the best in the biz at knowing just when and how to use profanity to the maximum effect (seriously, nobody else should be allowed to use the word "goddamn" in a song until they can do it even half as well as Campbell does in "Pyramids of Salt" or "Flowers Where Your Face Should Be"). Musically, Sister Cities takes big risks, and finds success, in going small more often than not, but reaches its greatest heights in closer "The Ocean Grew Hands To Hold Me," a song that just builds and builds until it reaches this epic swell of pure catharsis that just washes over you like the ocean. Honestly, Sister Cities is so emotional that it can sometimes be hard to listen to. That kind of power is that makes it my favorite album of 2018.

Highlights: Sister Cities, Flowers Where Your Face Should Be, The Ocean Grew Hands To Hold Me

#The Wonder Years #Joyce Manor #Jeff Rosenstock #Saves the Day #Saves Face #Bad Moves #MXPX #The Get Up Kids #Justin Courtney Pierre #The Penske File #Pivitor #music

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hchano · 7 years

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‘ultimate guess who’ anon fic recs

for those who missed it, @mlficwritersanon set up a fun guess who challnge. buncha writers wrote fics anonymously and readers are supposed to guess who wrote what! super neat idea. anyway, i finally read thru all these and felt like reccing the ones that stood out to me =D/ not gonna be as detailed as my regular recs since i read most of these a while ago, and forget a lot of details xD;;;; sorry. i’ll do my best tho ;0;/

and for the record, all of these are reveal fics. that was the theme. :]

[listing these in reverse order, cos a lot of the ones at the end got buried by newer fics ;0;]

A Revealing Interview -- Alya Césaire uncovers more than she expects to one afternoon when she interviews Chloé Bourgeois for the Ladyblog. - this is a alya/chloe fic, in which they have miraculous. it’s rly cute ;0; We Were Lovers In A Past Life -- Alya's kryptonite? Blondes and stripes. - alya/chloe, with miraculous again. but different! this one ended my life. good shit :’D

Tomorrow’s Troubles -- But that was a thought for tomorrow. Those were all thoughts for tomorrow. Melancholy was for tomorrow and so was responsibility. - ladynoir/adrinette. THIS ONE PUNCHED ME OUT THE FUCKIN SEAT. I HELLA REMEMBER THAT. it was really good. ;0; it’s aged up. that is all i’mma say.

Dredging Up the Past -- Sabine reminisces about her time with the ladybug miraculous. - sabine + marinette mainly [also adrien and tom are in it~]. THISSSSSSSS FIIIIC IS ALL OVER AN OOOOLD HEADCANON!! previous ladybug!sabine was a really popular headcanon early on! This fic is nostalgic to me cos of that, and it’s a fun read. xD I loved the reveal hahah. this was cute.

i'm like dropping hints that i'm ladybug -- "...I'm Ladybug." (In which Marinette tries to get Adrien to figure out her secret identity. She was not counting on him being this oblivious.) - Adrinette. This one is p fuckin great xD i remember cackling a lot. I liked how it ended up panning out too xD well played, anon //salute

If Only It Were That Simple -- Ladybug and Chat Noir have been partners for three long years, growing closer by the day. One night, Adrien argues with Plagg, as he often does, about not being able to tell Ladybug who he is. He just didn't plan for Ladybug to hear. - Adrinette/Ladynoir. Argh I REMEMBER THIS BEING REALLY CUTE.

Premier Amour -- It has always been said that you never move on from your first love. - adrinette/ladynoir. gfdfkjgjdfk this one is really sweet. it’s got a tiny bit of angst, but it’s good angst.

The Fox is Out of the Bag -- "Could uh, could you maybe forget about this?” she asked, eyes flitting around the room as if looking for an escape route. "The whole transforming in front of me thing?" he said, raising an eyebrow. - DJWifi. Lmao this is short and funny.

Those Freckles on Your Butt -- It turns out that Adrien has a thing against modesty and Marinette gets a fateful eyeful. - adrinette. //sobbing// was this fic written for me? b u t t s //more sobbing// no but really this is p damn funny :’D

My Boss is a Vampire... Well, sort of -- There's something weird going on with the Agreste couple, and Nathalie is determined to find out.That, or she may just be paranoid for no real reason and is coming up with theories that mean nothing. Who knows. - NATHALIE. MY FAVE BABE. This is another really funny one. :’D [also dem ot3 vibes yaaaaaas]

dropping hints -- Ladybug asks Chat Noir for boy advice. This goes about as well as expected. - ladynoir. THIS IS SOOOO GOOD. i really liked this one. i cackled at how the reveal went down here tbh. smh@lb... [also think i might know who wrote it 👀 ... too bad i am not participating in the guessing lol]

Orion’s Belt -- Here, kitty kitty. - Ladynoir/Adrinette. pfff WHOEVER U ARE THIS DESCRIPTION SUCKS. tryin’a sell ur fic here!!! lmao. anyway yea this fic is super cute! just. really cute and sweet. good shit anon :> ...except for that description :’D [but it’s really good so read it lol]

No Matter How You Spin It -- They were bound to find out about each other eventually. It just figured that it would happen at a time where privacy came at a personal cost to both of them. (Or that time that Adrien nearly died twice on his 18th birthday.) - ok so this is adrinette, but y’all, chloe legit steals the spotlight anytime she steps into the narrative lmfao. i love her :’D bless this fic. bless this fuckin chloe xD

It Had To Be Her... -- Adrien is used to listening to Chloe's "secrets". He's not used to them changing his life... What he thought would be a simple conversation about his friend's unrequited celebrity crush turns into one of the most revealing conversations he could have ever imagined. - adrien&chloe. YOOOOOOOO IS ADRIEN AND CHLOE ON THE FRIENDSHIP MY DAMN JAM? IS IT ALSO THE FUCKIN BREAD AND PEANUTBUTTER OF MY SANDWICH? YES IT IS. sorry y’all i just get a lot of feels about platonic chloe/adrien lmfao. this is really cute ;0;

I Used To Make You Smile, If Only For A While -- She was the first person he’d unmasked for and THIS was her response? - alya/chat [+ lowkey ninette]. holy ambitious premise batman. this is...so good??? and i could see it happening? like legit my fave alyadrien ‘how they hooked up’ set up here, but holy heck this was a rough read. like, i mean, due to the situation and just the charas...i just wanna hug everyone, poor complicated bebs ;0;

Mint Two-Lips -- Marinette thought she would never taste anything sweeter than Adrien's sweet, minty flavored lips...until she tasted the exact same flavor on Chat Noir's mouth. - adrinette/marichat. sjhdfjkhfjkshdjk SOOOO i don’t usually like kiss reveals cos of the whole unfaithful angle [cheating is an instant turn off for me], B U T!! this one does it right! so i was pleasantly surprised :’D i liked how it worked out in the end too. nice play, anon c:

must be love -- What's a girl to do when she finds out her crush and suitor are one and the same? Ladybug finds out that Adrien is Chat completely by accident, and then proceeds to... have something of a crisis. - guys it’s ladrien, come on ... also a ng s t //laysonface// like i was dead before i even got out the gate on this one lmao

Just Asking For Some Privacy -- "No but she's right. What the heck could the four of us possibly have to do that's apparently so important that it needs to be done in private, in an abandoned locker room, and in the middle of an akuma attack?" - marinette, chloe, adrien, alya. o m f g. this fic lfdjkfsd these kids. what a mess lmao. i love this

Between The Lines -- So he found who she is in the most unexpected way... now what? - Adrinette. “No, that’s the problem.” FUCKIN CACKLIN’. this is p clever and funny xD i think the writer’s first language isn’t english, so there are a few places that are a bit off, but it’s p easy to read anyway and it’s p fuckin cute, so it’s worth it xD

Tea and Sweets -- When you're sad, sweets get rid of that salty taste on your tongue. But he doesn't have any sweets. - Marichat. AGRESTE. FAMILY. ANGST. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS. my jam. hel lo . this was, like the name, incredibly sweet. and made me want tea lol. thANKS

alright that’s it!! i honestly wanted to add a few more than this, cos all the fics are pretty damn good, but i wanted to keep the list as short as i could xD;; [i managed to fail in that anyway, cos i think i recc’d almost exactly half of them...]

but yea, pls also go check out the others in the collection!! =D/

#miraculous ladybug #ml fic rec #ml ultimate guess who challenge #i am p sure i know who a handful of these are lmao #but i am not joining in...oops #long post

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kaepop-trash · 7 years

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AS: 나쁜 짓

나쁜 짓 : Korean, Bad Behaviour.

Rated: M for Smut. I am a sinner.

Pairing: JaehyunxReader

Summary: The story of secrets, deciet and greed. Three characters with unlikely alliances and one common goal; power. Jaehyun is stuck between his own thirst for power and his need for the one thing that could take away everything. Yuta has ambition growing from an unlikely alliance and convinces himself to do anything to protect it. Between both of them is her, ambitious but with one weakness, she does all it takes for Jaehyun, even if it’s putting herself aside. But how long can she hold up her own fragile games?

Trigger Warnings: Cheating, Choking and I don’t know what else.

(A/N): If you don’t know, I’m a kinky shit. NCT is my new obsession and imagine my actual condition when I listened to Baby Don’t Like It. Then to hear that Mark and Taeyong actually wrote their respective raps? I got so carried away with this I had to actually stop sometimes to breathe, sorry it’s so long. Also appreciation for my ultimate bias wrecker Jaehyun. This made me blush while proofreading, so I apologise for the attack. Also that gif jfc his smirk fucks me up.

She seated herself at the bar, ordering a simple cola and turning around to face the raised platform at the end of the room. The women walked up on stage, the smile on her face almost genuine, she suppressed a laugh. On stage The women smiled and greeted everyone who was gathered and then went on to give praise to the man of the hour, the person who was donating a more than generous sum to a very worthy charity, the person who was kind, benevolent as well as shrewd and cold, a man only The women had the privilege of knowing completely. She had to turn around and ask for another drink, this time a neat whiskey. Her eyes still remained glued to the stage though and soon enough he walked up amongst a chorus of applause, his smile was warm as he embraced the person who introduced him.

“I’d like to start this off by thanking my lovely girlfriend, who recommended this incredible cause to me in the first place.” Behind him, The women smiled at the mention but his eyes were searching the room hopefully, she smiled to herself.

“Do you know the congressman, Miss?” The bartender called, she turned her head slightly and nodded, turning back to face him once again.

“I campaigned for him when he ran.” This clearly earned the bartender’s interest as he greedily inquired what he’s like.

“He’s adept, authoritative, but also kind and charming. He always stayed late and came in early.” At least those parts were true. The bartender also seemed satisfied with the response.

“So are all the campaign volunteers here?” His voice had an edge of suspicion to it.

“Excuse me?” She was probably a bit more defensive than she would have liked, but it is usually true that the guilty are more eager to defend.

“No ma’am what I mean is, you’re probably here as something other than a mere volunteer right? Obviously, I don’t know how these things work, but you must be more important, to be here that is. She just hummed, not to let him see the scowl she was currently adorning.

“I was called by the congressman to discuss business, he’s being interviewed by an old acquaintance of mine tomorrow so I was here to help.” She didn’t need to explain this much, but she did it anyway. She turned away from him with a satisfied smirk to the stage to see him staring right at her, an emotionless but questioning look on his face, when he notice her looking he smirked. Beyond reason, her heart dropped to her stomach but she gave him a smirk of her own, delicately tilting her glass in a gesture only he could see and he gave her a satisfied nod.

“This cause obviously holds a significant amount of meaning to me and I’m so overwhelmed that we crossed our projected goal, three folds. Please enjoy the rest of the night.” A loud cheer erupted in the room at the end of the speech, people standing and applauding for the achievement collectively achieved.

After a while of sitting with an empty hand, she gave in and got a generous glass of red wine, sipping on it slowly to lul out the night.

“You were working on the campaign trail, right? We met last spring at a pancake breakfast.” She turned to the attractive looking guy who smiled wide, his face not familiar in the least.

“Ah, of course, forgive me but I’m not very good with names, Mr.?”

“Nakamoto, Yuta Nakamoto.” He extended his arm and she shook it with a smile that she knew flustered him. She knew exactly where she stood, she definitely wasn’t in line to be a timeless beauty but she wasn’t exactly unpleasant either. The dress she wore today also did wonders only the price tag could provide. She wasn’t shy to admit the effect she had on men because she knew her looks were only half the story.

“So are the rumours true? Jung Jaehyung is running for Governor this term?” He leaned back and relaxed like he was talking to an old friend. She raised her eyebrows at him.

“What makes you think I know anything about that?” She assumed he was intelligent enough to pick up on the distrust in her tone.

“I heard word around town that he’s making you campaign manager. I’ve also heard how he took your advice countlessly and kept you on despite your brazen attitude.” His voice grew more hushed and he drew closer, his smile in the end clearly speaking the words, ‘caught you’. She unclenched her jaw and smiled at him, leaning still closer to his ears.

“If you know I’m that good, you should already know that I don’t talk to reporters, especially ones who trick people into giving statements. I can see your lit phone screen recording. Also, your cheap suit gave you away immediately.” You drew back and smiled at him, still deceitfully warm, “Also I never forget a face and I’ve never seen yours.” His smile never faded he walked away after mumbling a confident ‘call me sometime’, leaving a card on the bar. Her smile was replaced by an irritated scowl as soon as he left, taking bigger gulps of the wine.

“Miss, could you come with us?” Two bodyguards walked up. She rolled her eyes, the second glass of wine definitely getting to you.

“No. Tell him I’m going home. I’ve had enough for a day.” They coughed awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable.

“Ma’am we were asked to escort you to the limo.” She got up and walked up to them, they had to look down at her but between them, she was more annoyed. “Unless you want to pick me up and drag me to the car against my will G.I. Joe, I suggest you just go tell your boss to fuck himself, or his hot girlfriend.” With that, she was walking out, her stride the epitome of grace, despite the alcohol.

From the distance Jaehyun watched her hips sway as she disappeared, his eyes narrowing at his approaching men.

“Uh, sir she said she’s tired and won’t be joining you today.” Jaehyun looked up with a smile.

“Is that a direct quote?” He raised his brow making the guard grow more uncomfortable. He finally laughed when they told him her exact words, getting up to leave with a hint of mischief in his eyes.

She walked out of the shower, feeling a lot better, the haze from the alcohol well faded. She placed a kettle of water on the stove for tea as she read through papers that needed correction. A soft knock echoed through the empty apartment as she walked out of the kitchen with a cup of tea. She let out a frustrated groan and went to the door, opening it roughly. The word ‘leave’ caught in her throat as she stared at the man in front of her. He stood leaning against the doorframe, looking up at her with the lazy smile that never failed to make her swoon. His suit was a mess, folded sleeves and loosened tie, jacket slung over his shoulder, his hair disheveled like he was tugging and combing his fingers through it, she raised a brow at him questioningly.

“Love the look.” He said pointing at her robe, he traced his eyes down to her legs before resting his eyes on her lips. She rolled her eyes at him.

“What do you want Jae.” She said, still standing guard at the door.

“Some tea would be nice.” He said pointing at the cup in her hand then rubbing his neck, clearly getting confused by the continued frigid attitude.

“I made enough for one.” Her voice was stoic.

“I’ll just taste it from your lips.” She let out a bitter laugh but it was only to hide the way her stomach flipped at his words. She walked away, leaving the door open for him to enter. When she sat back at the table he heard the door shut softly. She heard him walk into the kitchen and minutes later she looked up from her glasses to see him sit opposite her on the dining table, a steaming cup in his hand.

“You had more tea in the kettle.” She just hummed in response, not looking up from the paper she was reading. He automatically broke into an endearing smile at the obvious gesture, glad she was too busy to notice.

“Your idea worked, the charity was a great suggestion.” He tried to make conversation. She hummed again.

“When have I ever given you less than pristine advice.” She flipped another page, looking up at him once briefly to find his eyes on her, “Announcing it was your girlfriend’s suggestion was a good addition though, you really strengthened the façade there.” She tried to sound casual but he knew her too well.

“You did pick her after all, rich and with a crystal image. Everything my father wanted.” His tone was sharp, acid in his voice.

“It was my job to ensure your success after all Mr. Congressmen.” She looked back down at her work.

“Who was the guy you were talking to today?” She sighed loudly, removing her glasses at looking up at him.

“Just some guy, how does it matter?” She crossed your arms in front.

“He seemed to be very comfortable around you. Maybe he liked you.” His eyes danced with fire but his voice was cold as ice.

“I have a likable personality.” She shrugged but looked up at him in the challenge.

“I’m sure it’s your personality he was looking for down your dress.” He sat up from his leaned back form.

“Well, I sure hope he found it.” You smirked. Immediately his gaze became darker. He got up and walked to her chair, bending down to cage her in with his arms and his gaze. She really hoped he didn’t hear her beating heart.

“Do you like that? When men shower you with attention.” His lips trailed down her jaw, leaving feather like kisses.

“In a way. I like watching how much it riles you up.” He bit down on her neck making her gasp in a mixture of shock, pain and indefinite pleasure. Her hand wove into his hair and she gripped tight, making him groan deliberately. He retaliated by gripping her hair and pulling down to expose her neck further, leaving a trail of dark marks.

“Maybe I should mark you all over, hmm? Let every fucker out there know you’re taken?” His voice was rough like he was straining to speak. She laughed softly, looking at him through her lashes.

“That’s just futile now, isn’t it? They can’t know who I’m taken by after all. That would be a nightmare.” From her hooded gaze, she saw his jaw tighten, satisfied at prying a reaction out of him. He stood upright after that and she sighed, obviously realising she said something hurtful.

“You know I hate it when you come here. It’s a simple apartment, and while I adore it, it’s too small for you.” He smiled at the comment.

“I like your apartment, particularly your bed.” He extended a hand and she placed her small hand in it. He yanked her up making her yelp as he grabbed her waist.

“I hear the creaking in my head all the time. Really reminds me of how hard and rough you like me to fuck you.” He whispered in her ear and the hand she fisted his shirt at his chest in anticipation. He wasted no more time and grabbed her hand, gently guiding the way to her room.

Once in the darkness of the room with only the light from the hall to illuminate their shared sin. She sat back on the bed, placing her arms behind her for support and crossed her legs, taking in the silhouette of her lover, an almost ethereal halo all around his frame, he shifted and she finally saw his expression, eyes dark with need and body almost shaking in lust.

He stared at her from the corner of the room, her robe coming almost undone, her hair a proper mess and faint marks growing darker all over her neck, he bit his bottom lip. He felt his pants straining almost mockingly now, but their game was far too much fun.

“Get rid of that.” He pointed at her robe, she groaned shamelessly at how his voice was a hair above a growl. Obediently she obliged but did it as slowly as possible to get him as on edge as she could. She saw him bring a hand down to his crotch, palming himself as he sighed at the contact. She smirked almost like a conditioned response, finally letting the robe unfurl and come undone, hanging on her shoulders lewdly.

“Look at you Mr. Congressman, the definition of character and integrity. Look at you touch yourself at the sight of your mistress.” He tightened his jaw, ignoring the effect her words had on him, how scary it was. He slowly removed his own shirt, her hands aching to leave nail marks on his smooth skin as payback. He slowly stalked closer to her, his stance predator like. The bed dipped beside her as he placed a knee on it, the cheap springs already creaking under the weight. He smirked at the familiar sound, heat creeping up her neck at it.

“Aren’t you a little too verbose today. I don’t have anymore patience. Have you forgotten?” He dipped his head lower, lips brushing her ear, “You should be afraid of me, only I can ruin you.” She gulped, not refuting the statement at all.

With that he finally he connected their lips, hand resting on her neck to keep them anchored to the present. She reached down fervently, working at the buckle with lightening ease that only came with practice. Once her hand travelled into his pants, he gasped immediately at the sudden contact. She smirked at the opportunity and slipped her tongue into his mouth before he had the same chance, enjoying the small window of dominance through the kiss. She palmed him further, before he groaned in utter frustration, pushing his pants down and gently shoving her down. She slid up till the pillows, watching him pull out a condom from his wallet. She had to lick her suddenly dry lips as she watched unabashedly at him sheath himself. He then crawled onto the bed, his frame soon looming over her. He put a hand on the iron headboard, looking down at her small frame with utter satisfaction.

“Are you ready babe? We’ll be at this till neither of us can walk straight.” He traced a finger down her torso, she only whimpered in response.

“You know.” He paused as a grunt left his lips as he entered her swiftly. She gasped for breath, hands fumbling about to grab at something. “There is nothing I enjoy more than this view.” He thrust in again. She closed her eyes from the overwhelming sense of bliss, back arching in need for more contact.

“Look at what a mess you are for me right now.” He continued between thrusts as she screamed out when he pushed in again, the pleasure far too great to resist. She wanted him to shut up but couldn’t choke the words out.

“That’s just for me isn’t it?” She dug her nails into his back, the sound of the bed creaking loudly as his thrusts got more frequent and closer together, yet pace still frustrating to her. He hummed once an in question and she eagerly nodded, her other hand pulling on her own hair.

“Who else can make you feel this good, love?” She couldn’t take it anymore, the talking with all other noises of their rough demeanor made her whine. “Tell me who does this to you?” He slowed down more and she dug her nails into his back further.

“You do, Jesus fucking Christ Jaehyun, only you do. Don’t stop for fuck’s sake.” She rushed through her words, locking her legs at his waist to pull him closer, deeper.

She felt a hand on her neck after a while, eyes shooting open. She saw him give her a strained smirk, pressing down to block her air.

“I love when I make you breathless.” His bitter tone was evident even in her haze, somehow it got her more aroused.

“People in love say their heart beats different around their lovers right?” She closed her eyes, relishing the new found, somehow amplified feeling. She choked loudly when he thrust in again, caught in a gasp of pleasure. “I’m really enjoying playing with your heartbeat right now.” Her stomach clenched as she felt dangerously close to her release. She clenched around him ready to finally reach the high she was desperately in search, feeling too lightheaded to go on much longer. Suddenly he loosened his grip on her neck, she gasped quickly and desperately, needed air almost as much she needed more of him.

“Look at me.” She bit her lip but defied the command, eyes still screwed shut, too close to care. Suddenly he stopped and her eyes shot open, staring at him in betrayal. “I hate when you defy me, last time you did it I came home to a new girlfriend.” A short foreign expression crossed his eyes before he stared back at her again with his fucked out smirk.

“I want you to look right at me okay? I want you to watch me fuck you.” She nodded, ready to do anything in the moment.

She saw him clench his jaw as he entered her again, she bit down on her lip struggling to keep her eyes open. He was looking down at her with a surprisingly tender gaze. His hair was falling from his face, dripping with sweat. Indulging in a sudden urge, she reached out and pushed his hair back. He kissed her palm and turned back to look at her. All of a sudden there were tears welling at the edge of her eyes, his eyebrows knit in worry when he noticed. When he looked like he was about to stop she grabbed the back of his neck.

“Don’t stop, fuck Jaehyun just keep going.” He didn’t seem convinced but his own need took precedence as he snapped back his hips, slowly gaining back his rhythm, the bed creaking dangerously from the continual assault.

“I’m close Jae-” She pulled him into a rushed kiss before she could finish, moaning into his lips as she finally came undone. He kept the kiss up, too entranced by her familiar taste. He put an arm on the small of her back and pulled her up, deepening the kiss further till she felt him shake as a low groan erupted from his chest and resonated in her. He still adamantly kept kissing her till he couldn’t breathe and then collapsed on her chest, head nuzzling her neck. After staying like that for a moment longer he shifted off her, back falling on the bed with a soft thud. There was silence till he got up and discarded the used condom. She kept staring at the ceiling, not quite prepared to watch him leave.

She saw Jaehyun standing at the edge of the bed when she turned, in his boxers holding her robe out. She got out of bed silently and took the rob, mumbling a quick thanks before heading into the bathroom.

She looked into the mirror as her eyes blew out in horror and embarrassment. Her loud gasp made him walk into the bathroom. He looked at her through the mirror, his expression shifting from confusion to guilt.

“Sorry I got too carried away. You teared up too, I was too occupied today.” He reached out a little but she moved, embarrassed he brought up her crying and angry he didn’t know the real reason behind it.

“If I didn’t know you any better I’d have thought you cared.” Her bitter tone made him retract his hand midway, his expression hardening.

“If I didn’t know you any better I’d have thought you want me to.” He didn’t stay for her reply and walked out shutting the door.

She stared at the small bruises all over her chest and shoulder. And the large one in the shape of long slender fingers around her neck, already looking red and angry. She huffed in annoyance as she washed her face.

“He should buy me concealer, I go through a bottle in a month.” She mumbled to herself.

“I have to be at work tomorrow you know.” She said walking out of the bathroom, not expecting to find him curled up in bed.

“Take the day off. You’ve earned it.” She fumed at the implications of the generosity but still walked up to her bed to lie down, too proud to ask him to leave.

“That sounds appealing. I wonder, who’ll write your pointers for the interview you have tomorrow? You’re wife?” She lifted the covers to get into bed, facing away from him in an almost childish tantrum. She heard him sigh behind her before he embraced her completely, pulling her close despite her half-hearted protests.

“She’s not my wife.” His drowsy voice in her ear send a shiver down her side she wasn’t expecting. There was a short silence when he listened to her heartbeat calm.

“Be my campaign manager?” She sighed as he finally addressed it.

“That would mean me signing up to be stuck beside you forever.” She grumbled. He laughed at her words.

“Ah finally, I get to trap you forever. Have you all to myself till we end up in hell together.” She heard his smile without looking.

“Romantic.” She offered sarcastically.

“It’s how you wanted it.” He kissed her neck before nuzzling in, clearly signalling the end of the conversation. She closed eyes shortly after, the tiredness creeping up as her answer stuck in her throat.

#kpop #smut #angst #cheating #nct #nct u #nct 127 #jaehyun #jung yoonoh #political #au #scenarios #yuta #baby don't like it #nct scenarios #nct smut #ambition series

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madlyinlovephff · 7 years

Text

Chapter One

“Method To My Madness”

Despite someone’s random approach, there is actually some structure to it.

“Honey, my eyes are scarred right now” Jordon drawled as soon as he entered the kitchen.

Jordon Hay; jovial, persistent, focused and also, my fitness trainer. I can’t remember a time when I’m eating something incredibly unhealthy and Jordon hasn’t popped up in my mind. When I said that he’s focused and persistent; I mean focused and persistent.

Also, he’s extremely British. Right down to his walk. Not that I’m complaining.

I looked up at him, my face looking like a deer caught in headlights. Dammit.

“Excuse me while I go drown myself in your hot tub” He said, hands on his chest and shaking his head like no tomorrow.

I took the spoon out of my mouth, which had previously consisted of Nutella. Clearing my throat I said, “I have a very good reason”

His eyes narrowed at my face, then at the jar that sat on the counter and then back at me.

“Yes, Adelaide, I’m interested and listening”

Quickly getting rid of the jar and the spoon, I sat beside him, “Well, I mean, you know how the tour just got over and I’m always on a strict diet while on tour, so I figured-“

“Figured that I’ll be alright with you eating spoonful of Nutella, at what, 7:30 in the morning?” He almost screeched.

I jumped away from him, deciding it is better to be at a considerable amount of distance. “Well, it’s your fault too, by the way” I crossed my arms.

“Excuse me?”

I stifled a laugh at his infuriated expression, “Yes, there was nothing stocked in my kitchen. Forget about kale and healthy things, nothing, nada”

He paused, looking at me with that wounded expression, “Adelaide Edwards, you have over 5 people working in this huge house for you”

I frowned at him, offended, “You know that I hate how you make them sound like they’re my servants or something”

“Well, maybe because they are?”

“NO! No, they’re not. They’re family, Jordon. I’ve had this same conversation over 283 times with you”

He shakes his head at me, as if he’s amused, “They work for you”

“You work for me” I smirked.

“Okay, I honestly hate when you win arguments. You make the most insufferable face, I swear” He said.

I rolled my eyes, picking up my phone to see that I still have a few minutes before I have to leave.

Jordon let out a huge breath, “David says hi, by the way. You know, it seems eerily quiet here, it’s sort of frightening”

Oh, and he’s gay.

I looked around too, texting back Emma Watson, “Yes, but that’s only because I’ve usually got someone over. And Fred, Gina, Quinn, and all are at mum’s”

Look, honestly, they’re not servants. They’re family. My nana used to have this house-keeper back in the days and she had 5 adopted children because she was never able to have her own. And since Nana only had my mum, who was far too ambitious and always looking at a way to get into Harvard, she almost adopted them as hers when her house keeper passed away.

It’s been years and years and there is still not a single holiday or celebration that they aren’t a part of. They’re all married now, older and wiser, mildly educated too, but they never left the family. So now, they help us just in everyday lives. My mom always tells me how she could’ve never survived the pacing downtown London life is she hadn’t had them growing up.

That feeling runs in our family. Of love and fondness to everyone that wants it. It was only after my Nana passed away three years ago that I decided to do something in her honour. And so I came up with the idea of ‘We Day’; a day dedicated to inspiring the youth, because Nana loved children, she loved their innocence and she hated what our world had come to. And at 26, I can say that I am capable of doing something about it.

It’s pretty simple, really. I struggled with my music for a while, back when I was 16, went around to different record labels, always coming back disappointed. I remember when I used to believe that my music could make a difference, that it had the capability to empower. I’ve always believed that music is one of the most powerful weapons to move people. It was always because of this reason that I wanted more out of music than just learning violin and piano and joining the school choir, I’d wanted a career out of it. I wanted my music to affect people the way other people’s music affected me.

For a while, I genuinely used to think that I’d be a disappointment to my parents. My parents, who were both Harvard Law Graduates, and had always strived only for the best. But, it wasn’t before I had struck a contract deal with Keith Music Ltd, that I’d trusted my talent to the fullest.

And so after a massive debut and a good year, when I’d started to fall down the rabbit hole that is Hollywood, from which I didn’t truly come out for a good 2 years, I had realized my duty.

When you have been lucky enough to hit it big and when you’re automatically provided with the celebrity status, it becomes you’re responsibility of sorts, to use that status well. To give back to the world that has given you all these luxuries. Because at the end of the day, what satisfies you shouldn’t be success and wealth, it should be that feeling of doing good.

“Alright, can we please go over you’re fitness schedule this week?” He asked, checking his phone.

When I nodded, I noticed I’d gotten a text from Lima, my very stylish, very tall, and very Brazilian assistant. It said that she’d be here in a few minutes and I motioned Jordon to start talking.

“Well, I suppose we can be fine with only 2 days for a few weeks. You’re right, you’re just fresh off the tour and we don’t want you to starve or anything” He said, frowning as if he didn’t like the idea in the least. Which, knowing him, he probably didn’t.

I smiled so massive, I’m pretty sure I tore some skin cells, hugging Jordon, “Oh god, Emma had just texted me to go out this evening”

He shook his head at me and got off the stool, “Alright, have fun, I was basically here to welcome you back, it’s great to see you again Addy” he said, smiling.

I smiled at him, it’s nice to be back in London. “Thanks, Jor. It’s nice to be back, the tour was good”

He chuckled, heading towards the door, “Oh, it was more than just good, darling. I reckon the most earning one this year”

I ducked my head, greeting Max and Gary, my bodyguards, with a smile, “We’ll see about that”

After quickly bidding Jordon a goodbye in the elevator, Max and Gary led me to the ready car, inside, there was Lima, scrolling through her phone frantically.

“Lima” I said warmly, hugging her close as soon as I sat in the back seat.

“Addy, it’s been long” she said. I chuckled, shaking my head.

“Yeah, if you consider 12 hours long”

She threw a look at me, just as the car started and we were off from my penthouse in Mayfair.

I liked Mayfair, it was relatively calm as compared to Central London; not that it wasn’t just as extravagant. I’d bought this penthouse from Alexander McQueen, few shorts months before he died.

I’d met him for the first time in 2006, when they had offered me my own clutch line for a whole season. I’d never forget the way he spoke about his ideas, the way he pictured his ideas. It was magnificent, knowing and working with a man like that. Never will I forget him, even though it has been 2 years since he’s passed away. Geniuses like him don’t appear often.

I looked at Lima, whose known me for a good couple of years now. Her parents are still in Brazil, extremely kind hearted people but I still have no idea from whom she gets her feisty streak. This girl could dominate the world if Victoria and her had gotten along better. But nevertheless, she’s extremely hard working and dedicated, that’s what I truly appreciate.

“Your One Hyde Park Apartment will be clean by the time you’re done with the meeting with Keith, so will you be staying the night there?” She asked, turning towards me.

I thought about it for some time, before shaking my head. “Mayfair is fine with me, I’ll be going out tonight anyway” I said.

She nodded thoughtfully, “Yeah, it’s better to come back to Mayfair then, the paparazzi knows you’re back in London”

“Oh shit, I’ll still need to change before heading out” I said, groaning.

Lima shut her eyes and took a deep breath, “Okay, so we’ll be heading to Hyde Park after all"

“I guess” I shrugged.

Looking out of the window, I saw the beautiful streets of London fly pass in the morning light. London, my home for as long as I’ve been on this earth. There’s just something about London, you know? Something ethereal, its history, its architecture. And even though I spend a lot of my time in Los Angeles and New York, nothing beats London.

It wasn’t long before we slowed down at the BBC Radio 1 studios. There was a mediocre amount of people outside, and as I stepped out of the car, my leopard printed boots firm on the ground, I waved at the crowds and first went to greet them.

Call me crazy, but I can’t resist crowds. Especially the ones that have given up their precious time to just come to meet me. How can you let these people down? The ones that wake up even before you to come stand outside random places.

My fans are honestly my favorite people on this earth. Well, other than my mom and dad…. And Amelia…. And Arthur, but nonetheless, I love them. These beautiful people who wait in lines for me, who care for me as if they’ve known me their whole life, as if I’m a part of their family itself. How can you not greet them when you have a chance?

By the way, I digress a lot.

A few hundred selfies later, I was bounded inside the studio where my longtime friend, Nick Grimshaw, was waiting with a Starbucks in his hand, grinning at me like a cheeky fool.

“There you go, one London fog latte” he said, and I shook my head, hugging him and kissing his cheeks before sipping my drink and profoundly thanking him, and heading straight towards my last interview for a while.

“Okay, I know how crazy your day has been Addy, but please tell me you have the single we were talking about, all ready to go” Keith said as soon as I entered his enormous office and went ahead to greet him.

My phone kept beeping but I put it aside for a while, before sitting in the chair right in front of Keith’s desk. I was frowning at him, I knew that because his face fell and he sighed deeply.

“It’s barely been 24 hours since the show in Melbourne ended, and you’re already asking me for a single?” I leaned forward.

He raised his eyebrow, his pepper hair styled to perfection, “Victoria told me that you’re ready with one”

I didn’t reply to that; and his smirk turned smug.

“There’s a reason, alright, but just tell me, for the state of my being, that you do have one song ready Adelaide” he said, his voice calm but his eyes giving away the stress.

I nodded reluctantly, knowing that if he knew that I already have a single ready, it wouldn’t be long before the entire cycle of releasing an album and going on a long tour started again.

He sighed in relief, before looking at me thankfully, “I’ll come straight to the point then, Danny Boyle, wants to have a meeting with you”

I paused, thinking over what he said before giving him a confused look, “And why would he want a meeting with me? You make it sound like I should know what’s going on here”

Keith gave me an exasperated look, “Danny Boyle, he’s the director of the Olympics, Adelaide” he said.

I took in a sharp breath before my eyes widen, “Does this mean what I think this means?”

He smirked, finally getting the reaction he expected, “Pretty sure, he’s been trying to reach you for a couple of weeks and when his message was finally delivered at the head office, I got a hold of it”

I nodded fervently, “And?”

“And I’ve gotten a meeting fixed with you, sometime within the next few days, because I know you’d probably not be in London after this week, so what do you say Adelaide Edwards?”

I smiled, “I say yes ofcourse, what the fuck do you think I would say?”

He shook his head, looking highly amused, “There’s also the fact that he’s approaching only a few artists personally, so I reckon, you’ll be getting a good spot” he said.

I closed my eyes, thinking just what my life had become.

“That’s massive” I shook my head.

“Not much of a surprise, though” he commented.

I looked at him, urging him to continue, “Well, obviously, since Gold became 10X platinum in the UK, you’ve been considered a British icon, a statement of sorts, people relate Britain with you” he explained.

I nodded. Gold was released two years ago, and until a few months earlier, it was still the most selling album in the country and had hit 10x platinum, making it the 8th most selling album in the country in history.

It feels surreal, you know? Those songs I’d written, confined in my hotel rooms, in my tour bus, while backstage at my shows, while in flights, when they were just mine and for them to be known so hugely worldwide now, people knowing their lyrics, making it their own, the feeling is wild.

It was only three years ago, at 23, in 2009, that I’d felt like I couldn’t possibly get more successful than that. But, you know, life surprises you. And it’s the realization that hit me that I get to do what I love, every single day of my life, making people smile and making their worries fade, making them lose themselves in my music, that it was always because of these same people that I am what I am today. Each and every single one person in my life, every single fan, every person that has ever stood up for me, ever supported me, had played a part in shaping my life.

“Earth to Addy? Already dreaming?” He chuckled his throaty laugh.

I gave him a haughty look, before asking him details concerning the meeting, which is highly anticipated (by me).

“Well, do you want to listen to the song or not?” I asked him, already scrolling through my phone to reach the particular recording.

When I played it, I knew it instantly had his full attention. He was looking at the distance, the beautiful landscape of a drizzly London city laying beyond his glassed mirrors.

Once it was over, I turned my head towards him, “Well, what do you think?” I asked.

“I like it, it’s incredibly good, but-“

I frowned, “But?”

Keith took a deep breath, facing me with a serious expression, “Adelaide, I’m going to be honest with you, your song writing is powerful, your melodies are moving and you voice is empowering, truly, but Addy, it’s too similar. This song sounds like it could’ve, I mean, should’ve been in your last album, which obviously did massively, but do you understand where I’m going with this?”

I knew he was trying to be polite and quiet about it; so as to not offend me because I was an easily offended person sometimes and I knew that. And I appreciated his opinion as well, because he wouldn’t not want my songs to do well.

“So, what you mean to say is that my sound needs to be different?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.

He shrugged, “Addy, I have the utmost respect for your music, trust me, I know how powerful you are when you make music, but I feel like it’s so similar, just basically the exact same thing. I know you and I know you aren’t the one who just wants hits, and I know after Richard, your song writing hasn’t changed genres”

I flinched at his name and then I quickly found myself frowning at my boss, “What?”

“Look, I’m not saying that all your lyrics are sad, heartbreaking, break up songs but you have to admit, you haven’t dated anyone for 5 years, Addy, and I get that that is your personal matter, but as your label manager, I’ve got to say this, but maybe you need a new inspiration perhaps?”

I didn’t say anything; because at that moment my mind was all over the place and my heart was beating way too fast. Not wanting to cause a scene in front of Keith, I just nodded.

My music is mine, you know? Not once in my almost 10 year career and 6 albums have I had anybody question the inspiration behind my lyrics, so to have Keith be so blunt about it, I couldn’t help but be down hearted. Do I need a new inspiration in my life, romantically?

Shaking my head, I was getting worked up over nothing, really. I’ve already written tons of songs and all of them aren’t bound to sound same.

“I-I want sometime for this album, Keith. I feel like I should’ve asked this from you long ago, I’m not able to enjoy the time I spend making music, Keith. It’s not a leisure activity for me, it’s my passion. And I want to take advantage of that burning passion because I know that you know that I’ve decided that I won’t drag on my career till my 35s and 40s just for the sake of it, that’s not me” I said, not looking at him, not because I was scared but because I hadn’t ever really expressed my anxiety over the continuous chain that was my life for the past 10 years.

He was quiet for too long, but after 3 minutes and 28 seconds he spoke again, “Adelaide, you know what? Take time for this album, go out, go riding if you’d like, design stuff for your line, and take time off music. Can you do that?”

I stared at him, realizing he’s actually serious, “Yes, yes I suppose. Thank you Keith, truly, I have a lot of work in LA and New York, I think I’ll lay off of a bit, focus on other things, you’re right. It feels like it’s been an endless chain, so thank you” I said, smiling softly at him.

“No, thank you. But now, you’ve got to settle the issue of what to sing with Danny Boyle” he said.

I rolled my eyes, already half way through the room towards the door, “I hardly think he’d want me to sing a new song”

Keith chuckled, “Oh lord, you’re right. You’re grown up, haven’t you?”

“Oh, sod off”

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my-hydeaway · 7 years

Text

Our Childhood

The best times of my life, let me share them with you. Approx 2k words

Remember the time you stood in a row of students and there was this boy beside you who could not stop crying? First day in kindergarten school and you were being looked up to as many by the brave and ambitious one, other parents in total envy of how their child is not as confident as you are while your parents stood meters away from the line of children and gave the proudest smile. Back to the crying boy beside you. His name was Minho. You never noticed it back then but he has the cutest round cheeks in the history of round cheeks. Up till today, he has not noticed how you managed to make a copy of his Polaroid childhood photo and keep it hidden in your wallet to be taken out at any time of the day for an adoring session. "Hey there! Don't cry!" You whispered to Minho, trying not to get caught by the harmless teacher.

"I wanna go home!" Minho continued to sob gently, eyes swollen and nose soggy with liquid.

"But we can play together soon!" Convincing him in the most sincere of ways, somehow he managed to calm down at the moment the word 'play' was said.

And that was probably the only thing you ever bragged about to Minho even after decades have passed, you wanted him to never forget how you took care of him on the first day of school, a complete stranger to you. He would always give the same shrug and warned you to never do that to a grown man crying on the street unless it happened to be himself. One of your favourite songs till date is the melodic harmony of xylophones and piano keys that gently carried the notes of the legendary Canon in D floating throughout the entire school. This meant that it was break time and before you knew it, Minho and you were out in the playground having a blast in the sandpit. He promised to built you a sandcastle, but wrestled so much with the idea he could barely get a bucket of sand to stand. Never did he knew, twenty years down the road he would have been trapped under the sand itself and embarrassed by his four buddies and childhood friend that he had to slur a cocktail mixture of vulgarities to be released from his sand prison. The years of classes involving nap time, break time and shower time soon passed as quickly as the seasons changed. The friendship between Minho and you remained concrete strong and the both of you made a pact to get into the same primary school by telepathy and dancing around a plate of animal crackers. The both of you continued this ritual every single time when it was required to choose a new school and it would always work. It was after much confrontation with your mother years later that you found out how your parents worked closely with Minho's parents to try and get the both of you into similar schools. You have stopped touching animal crackers completely ever since that hideous truth was revealed. Primary school was a lot more crazy and fun. Minho would come over to your place after school ends and the both of you would binge watch cartoon series and snack on chocolate waffles. It was also the time where Minho seemed to put on most of his weight. If you thought you had seen the chubbiest of his cheeks during kindergarten, the sight of how he managed to stuff thirty Maltesers into his mouth and the heavenly sound of biting and crunching into it all at once, chubbiest would be too mild of a word to call his cheeks by. There was this time another male student snatched your toy Pokemon and you were almost brimming with tears. No fear because Minho came to your rescue as he chased the toy thief around the playground as you watched Minho slowly ran out of speed as well as breath. Of course your toy Pokemon was returned to you unscathed but it seemed like a part of Minho's soul left his body as he laid on the floor panting crazily. "R-running.. is not my best forte.." He huffed and puffed, almost ready to blow the straw house down. "I can see that! But thanks for trying." You chuckled at his cheeks as you watched them jiggle when he exhaled deeply before extending a hand to help him out and brushing off the dirt that got onto the back of his uniform. You loved all of these innocent and child-like times. But what you loved even more, was when puberty began to hit Minho. For you, puberty hit way earlier than it did for Minho. Horrifying him at the way you squeeze the pus out of your inflamed pimples until there was a time where he refused to step into your house. When puberty finally dawned upon Minho, it hit him like a truck. "Why do you keep staring at me recently?" Minho asked nonchalantly as he balances his pen on his Cupid's bow, puckering his lips together while figuring out a way to solve his algebraic homework. "Do I do that?" You hid your tone, answering with absolutely nonchalance as well while you eyed at his broad shoulders. "Speaking of which, did you lose weight?" You sat up from his bed and closed the algebra book in front of you. It took you long enough to realise how his jawline emerged under all the baby fat that claimed the throne on his cheeks, broad shoulders that spanned out almost like the wings of a plane and the deep voice that dripped with honey each time he hummed his favourite song. It was no wonder you felt the deathly stares of other female species as you walk down the market with Minho, munching on spiral potatoes and chocolate sundaes. "Are you saying I'm fat?" Minho quickly turned around from his spinning chair and glared into your eyes. Things were just going so great in life. Not till his high school sweetheart crushed his heart into a million pieces and walked away without even looking back. Minho would always come to you and shared about all the romantic events he planned for her. On Valentine's Day, he stuffed petals of different kinds of flowers that belonged to the nearby garden into a transparent balloon and filled it up with helium. The way the petals did a little jump with every stride he took along with the floating balloon that glided through the air was absolutely stunning and you knew that she was one lucky girl. Sadly, she could not hold his hand for long and eventually decided to trample on his fragile heart. It was such a bad month for you because he hardly turned up for school. You had no one to walk with to school and no one to entertain your boredom doodle attacks during integration class. It got so bad that Minho did not even want to see anyone when you visited with some friends. It left you with your one last resort, one that could potentially break your legs if it went horribly wrong. It would be all worth it to make your best bud smile again. You climbed up the pipeline to his windowsill and tapped furiously on the window almost pleading to be saved from the jarring height. Because of this incident, Minho would always snicker whenever you stood near any kinds of window. Which is great, surely, because now there's at least two things you hate in the world so much - animal crackers and windows. After going through a dozen comfort movies, three tubs of ice-cream and two boxes of tissue paper, Minho returned to school the next day and normalcy was restored. Most first love almost never work out anyway and Minho recovered from his slowly but surely. Years of chasing dreams and painful rejections, the cruel world that seemed nothing like how you viewed it when you were in kindergarten. In fact, it made you wonder if the other children were crying over how the future will come too soon. In fact, it made you feel small and childish to be someone that brave. You were struggling through first year of university while Minho continued to chase his dreams. "You should have come to university with me." You pouted as you walked straight into the dormitory without even looking at Minho who stood at the door to welcome you in. "But I like it here." Minho was glowing, although he looked exhausted from all the training, he was in total glee and happy to see you after a whole month of confinement. "But learning is not the same without you anymore." Making your way to the fridge, you were so familiar with the house that wasn't yours, you could probably find the pots and pans with blindfolds on. "Ah come on, you're smart. I'll only be there to distract you." Minho dragged his feet, following you from behind, carefully examining your body to see if you have lost weight from the intense medical school. "Maybe we should have danced around the animal crackers." As if the can of beer you opened was not bitter enough, the thought of animal crackers made you cringe even more. "You? Trainee at YG? You've got to me kidding me!" The man wearing a black beanie matched with the largest rimmed spectacles teased you. It was getting incredibly difficult to spend time with Minho now. You had to go to school and had assignments almost every single day. On the other hand, Minho had to practice and train everyday in the company that he rarely saw the sun just as much as he used to when he was younger and more carefree. But I guess that's what being responsible adults are, even still, there are times where you would want to close all your books and head down with ice-cream and donuts to find Minho's great companion. "Just come down for a second, it'll only take a second I promise!" Minho pleaded through the phone, something that you cannot resist. "Okay okay, just for a bit alright, I have an assignment due tomorrow." You replied, finally feeling some excitement in your life after such a long time. Excitement turned to astonishment followed by a feeling that you have never felt in your life before. "Did you just end practice?" Hiding both your hands into the pockets of your hoodie from the late night breeze as you strutted towards Minho who waited at the empty park. Instead of replying, he whipped out a tub of ice-cream and sat you down on the park bench. The night was filled with ecstatic conversations and catching up with one another that felt all so familiar to you. It was as if time has rewind and gone back to the times where the both of you were kids again. The late night passed and the empty park was starting to show signs of life apart from the presence that Minho and you provided for the past four hours. Light slowly started to touch every part of the area, the morning dew that formed on the awaken leaves and elderly women coming out for a brisk stroll. "Oh my gosh, my assignment!" You shrieked after looking at the time on your phone before jumping up and getting ready to take off. "Before you go!" Minho stood up, got closer to your face and left a peck on your forehead. "You know that I'm always cheering for you right?" He smiled.

(to be continued..)

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adhd-ahamilton · 7 years

Note

Joy To The World, 1, 4 and 5!

Hoo boy, so many questions!!! I hope you’re prepared for the deluge that’s gonna result...~ I’ll answer these tonight and finish the ones in the other messages tomorrow morning!

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

So. Over the last five or so years I’ve been writing fic, in all but the second year, I’ve written a special Christmas-related fic for Christmas. (And I did two the first year, so.) Christmas is a really important holiday to me and I really love Christmas-related stuff (the cheesier and sillier the better), so it became kind of a tradition. But this year, I was at a little bit of a loss. I knew I wanted to write Lams, because that’s my big thing right now. But how would I write Christmas Lams? Did they even properly ‘celebrate’ Christmas during that time period?? Or should I just go for an AU?

I researched it, and thankfully it turns out that the 18th century is around when people did start to celebrate Christmas in the modern sense (and it’s also when carols really started to come about, which is great because per tradition all my Christmas fic are titled after a carol), but that was just the beginning of the issue. When exactly would it be set? Valley Forge? But, uh... I highly doubted they would be really doing all that much at that point. But I couldn’t really think of any time outside of Lams AU that they’d be together. (And then I found out afterwards that Ham wasn’t even there for Christmas 1777, so, welp.) And I really couldn’t think of any kind of actual plot. I could have done a kind of meditation on their relationships to religion, but I didn’t know that much about which specific form of Christianity they belonged to, and I thought it was something that could be and HAD been done much better by other people. (Plus that’s not really my fave kind of fic to write to begin with.)

So, it wasn’t really working out that well. But still, I really kept trying. Through November, my working plan became almost set in stone: I’d do a combined historical and modern AU fic, switching back and forth between scenes, comparing themes (supply lists in VF compared with finding money for food over Christmas break in modern AU), sorta casually looking at the differences. When I gave it up, it was partly out of lack of interest in the themes, but my conscious reason was ‘I just don’t really care about modern AU Lams.’

...which came to the crux of the problem all along: I’m not really an AU person. Or rather, I’m very not an AU person. I’ve written very few AUs in my time, and almost all of them were historical AUs - certainly not modern day ones, and definitely not school AUs. I don’t have any, like, moral opposition - I can fully appreciate the transformative potential of full-setting AUs and find very interesting the interdependent communities that develop around AU-heavy fandoms as they essentially create their own accepted canons - but I just...don’t tend to like them. I’m very analytical!! The idea of just...MAKING UP not just one character or setting but basically a whole story just always seemed simultaneously too easy and too hard to me!!! Plus, I like to write really interesting and unusual things and try new styles, and one of the most basic points of interests for me in writing is asking what makes these characters and relationships unique, based on their precise personalities and backstories and combinations of traits. None of that lends well to full-setting AUs.

But. As I was mulling this terrible problem over, as usual, I was also running over in my head all kinds of various different characterisation ideas. This time, I was thinking about how it was interesting that Hamilton always seemed to be written in opposition to Henry Laurens, when IRL it seems they had a pretty decent acquaintanceship. And I was thinking about it, and I really started to think that, actually, someone in Hamilton’s point of view - who was constantly abandoned by his father, and desperate for his attention, and incredibly ambitious despite the circumstances of his birth - would be one of the WORST people to understand that an overly-controlling, overly-interested father who expects extremely highly of his son could be a negative influence. Which also added to another thought I’d been having. I always liked one quote from Chernow, that Laurens must have seen in Hamilton what a man who makes himself can do, and it always made me think that Hamilton must have been the same way - that he must have seen in Laurens the man he had always aimed to be. So, Laurens grew up in a good family, acknowledged and promoted by said family, with plenty of money and a great deal of opportunity. To Hamilton... yeah, it’d definitely be hard for him to see the problems with that. (And, you know, there IS a lot of privilege there!! It’s just, y’know, that mental illness doesn’t always listen to that.) But, those thoughts were kinda moot, because I really couldn’t think of any way to contrast these different experiences with fathers in historical verse.

And that’s when it came to me. What if I did a modern AU where Hamilton came down to visit the Laurens family for Christmas?

I didn’t have the time (or, really, the interest) to develop a full-on world for everyone, and a uni AU just seemed to be the most appropriate for this one, anyway. And it also did have a bit of appeal: it always kinda bugged me that in the AUs I read, Hamilton and Laurens never seemed to be studying law, even though that’s historically what they did do. As a law grad, I figured I might as well be the one to write it. (Though law in Australia is p different from in the US - there’s no separate law school, we just study it straight out of high school like anything else - but whatever.) And once I was doing THAT, it was hard for me to escape the fact that, in the real world, studying law hadn’t...exactly always been the best experience for me. Given that Laurens didn’t really want to study it either, it seemed appropriate to lean on those experiences a bit.

Aaand that’s where we really get to the meat of the inspiration behind it, heh. Which is to say: this is possibly the most autobiographical thing I’ve ever written...? I’ll say outright that a lot of it WAS entirely invented - my relationship with my family is nothing like John’s was in this, at all. But my anxieties over studying, and my worries about the future and what a career in law would lead to... yeah, that came from me haha. Because, to get kind of personal about it... well, I graduated July 2015. And in the time since then, I have been employed for about 2.5? months, total. The job scene here, in general and especially for law grads, is just that bad. (And, uh, there was a fair bit of personal fault in my lack of preparation for after I’d graduate? But, seriously, I was really anxious already...) And ever since then - particularly 2016 to the present - I’ve also had a lot of anxiety and depression and stuff going on. At the time I wrote the fic, it was in a position of leaning worse rather than better. So...I honestly don’t know if there was ever, like, a dispassionate fic in there safely cordoned off from my own projections, but if there was, it didn’t last long.

So, I got the idea, and wrote it all up pretty quickly in early December, just kinda ridin’ that catharsis of getting all that stuff out. (And it turned out to be even more relevant than I thought, as ‘trying to enjoy Christmas like you usually do when you’re really not happy’ also ended up a very autobiographical theme.) And that’s how it happened!

As for one or two other things:

I really really didn’t wanna get too into politics in the fic lmao. I don’t feel comfortable with more than the broadest strokes of Hamilton’s beliefs (I’m gonna GET THERE but Im still well rev-verse in Chernow) and I always feel uncomfortable about portraying historical figure in any better light than they deserve when it comes to specific matters. But I also wanted to have Laurens and Hamilton at least as POC because I also think it’s important to increase racial diversity in fanfic in the rare cases that we really get a clear choice. So, I tried to kinda portray that without really getting detailed about any activist stuff or whatever. Which is why in Ham’s argument with Henry he’s really not siding with anyone, he’s just an economics wonk who gets mad when people on both sides of the political aisle don’t make sure their numbers add up, lol. That was my best compromise. (And Philly kinda nudged me when I still got too far off-course;; haha!)

Hamilton has ADHD because: again, I wanted to actually officially write up neurodivergent characters into fic when I had the option of being specific (my Ham is always neurodivergent but obv I can’t explicitly write that into the text of historical verse), and it’s ADHD because......well, I could write a really long thing about that alone lmfao. And I feel like I kind of should in some ways because I know that a lot of people aren’t rly familiar with how ADHD tends to actually, like, feel, for real-life people, and if you aren’t then I KNOW this must sound like a really arbitrary or misguided HC. And I’d really love to write it up and expand education and all, but. It’s also something that hits really close and personal for me and, as someone who can be anxious for days straight over opening entirely innocuous tumblr messages... I just DK I could do it, atm;;;;; Someday I will though, I hope!!! (Tho I will say that I’m totally for all neurodivergent Ham HCs and that honestly my Classic Ham is also influenced by BD and BPD things so I’m p flexible about it.) (Actually I guess I CAN say that my HCs for Ham all involve disorders with extreme moods and mood swings and stuff and ADHD in its lesser known symptoms can absolutely include that, esp with Rejection-Sensitive Dysphoria, so yeah. That’s basically the large part of my reason for that headcanon right there lol.)

4. What's your favorite line of dialogue?

HM OH MAN, I’m not sure!!! Lemme skim it again real quick.

In terms of sheer characterisation efficiency, I always liked the idea of Henry Laurens’ introductory sentence being to complain about John not calling often enough. It’s just such a perfect combination of a) genuinely cares about his son and wants to hear from him, and b) is an asshole who has no idea whatsoever of the pressure he’s putting on his son without offering any concurrent praise or reassurance.

...so yeah I think I’ll leave it at that actually, since this thing is long enough already lol.

5. What part was hardest to write?

I was sitting here trying hard to remember if I really had trouble writing any part of the draft because there was one bit where I stalled briefly but it wasn’t really that bad and I couldn’t even really remember it and apart from that it was super smooth...until I remembered that editing counts as writing. And hoo fucking boy.

I was lucky enough to be able to have my fic beta-ed by Philly! Which I’m super grateful for and the fic is undoubtedly better for it! But it was a really difficult process for me because of my anxiety. And I needed to do it rather quickly, because of course I had to have it finished before Christmas, and my family actually was going away for Christmas where we wouldn’t have internet access.

So I get through almost all of the fic. It’s finally almost done. And then right at the end there’s a bit where Alex and John quickly exchange gifts on Christmas morning. Super short scene. And Philly pointed out that, actually, wouldn’t the rest of the family be taken-aback at them exchanging gifts without them?

And I kind of read that and sat back and. that was right. That was 100% correct. So like. What do I do??? Do I involve the other characters? But the original scene was like, three lines. and I don’t wanna have to write a whole new scene lmao. Do I take it out? But in a earlier scene, I’d had John express a worry that the present he’d gotten for Alex was awful and he really regretted it, and I kinda liked that in this final scene we see that actually he’d just forgotten WHY he’d bought it (he’d remembered Alex saying something about it), and I thought that was a nice thing about how anxiety can really fuck with even your memory and stuff bc in the end there genuinely was no reason to worry. It wasn’t necessary to the fic, but it only came about in the writing - I’m pretty sure the outline was just like ‘and then they exchange gifts or somethign??? IDK’ - and I didn’t want to get rid of it again. But then how do I justify them exchanging gifts alone???

And so that’s how I ended up just sitting there mournfully or pacing back and forth like p LEASE just SAVE ME, just GIVE ME AN OPTION, I have a HOLIDAY TO PACK FOR and THINGS TO DO and I just want this damn fic to be EDITED and DONE ALREADY. I came up with soo many possibilities, none of which satisfied me,lmao. and eventually after wayyyyyy too long of trying to figure it out I settled on something that seemed mostly plausible and then just. wrote it in and skimmed the rest of the fic and posted it lmao.

Which, honestly, is pretty typical proceedings. I tend to have the general ideas come pretty easily to me, and the actual writing is normally pretty smooth - it’s usually the editing where I start rocking back and forth and cursing myself for ever trying to write :’) (Luckily, at that point I’m close enough to the end that I can usually force it through...!!)

#elysianmars #long post #my fanfiction #I...think about things... a lot..............#I got a lot to say okay................................

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 4 years

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Discourse of Friday, 04 September 2020

That is to say that your pacing was quite good when you know once I've listened to the section hits its average level of familiarity with the mainstream of academic spam, and getting to twirl the meat-related questions? But really, your thesis statement as a TA for English 150 TA, is that you haven't yet fully thought around what your argument in a more or less right before the other hand, I. Her first birthday away from the play with and critique? Hi, Chris! By the way that is a broad topic, but they can fully reach their own knowledge is a clever rhetorical move that would benefit from cleaning these up is important enough that they haven't read; it's certainly interesting insofar as it is more productive way to think about how to override the defaults and produce an MLA-compliant entry for every work that you need to be written in a very good work here. Participatory-ness, I suspect that what this means that you do. Well done on this requirement. 6 p.

Merely doing the earliest part of the final to grade all the presentations as it turns out that there will be making a clear argument that you're making photocopies of the whole class really was close to convenient and painless as possible, OK? All of these are impressive moves. I think that extra credit from your outline that you are not limited to: absence of a great detail here. Perhaps most centrally, it has a lot of points you get behind. I can. I'll go ahead and bent my own opinion, anyway. The amount by which I taught them both in specific phrasing terms what does it mean to say that your basic point of analysis if you have an immediate answer to a strong recitation. Again, thank you for doing a good weekend, and it's almost over. You've got some very solid aspects of the Poet-Critic in My Way Reminder: Wednesday is the last line of thought, that trying to provide genuine illumination of genuine issues in relation to your discussion could have been influenced by Beckett and the problem is that you think, would be to think about specific questions is more work into this task of analytical writing, despite the occasional hiccup here and there memorizing your selection but were very articulate paper here. Damn! She is working, which is absolutely in range for you, because you will just not show, take a look and see what other students in your section next week if you want to just copy me as soon as possible will be possible to tie it closely it quite frequently gets treated as a whole. Another potential difficulty that you can which specific part of the entire thing; perusing the index might pay off in setting up a framework for a few places, and I will also eliminate the earlier work, Upton Sinclair's The Jungle 1906, but I think, to say that you can still go this week in section tonight like you have any questions, though. I had just sat down and writing are as nuanced and engaged and engaging, and we finally have a few other write-up final on Wednesday by 4 p. You had an excellent paper in a lot that they are similar in what ways?

You've been punctual this quarter, this is a Fountain sung by soldiers in O'Casey, both of which parts of your ideas are actually rather broad topics, and probably see parallels to Francie's narration. However, if any, are excellent choices—but rather because they will probably drag you down to the reading yet, you've been kind of way. Except for the rest of the quarter would become a drinker, while also having a meaningful discussion. No real surprises for me.

/Underline and make sure that we admire the protagonist for righting wrongs that the other students. C-, and you had a good topic. This means that if you get there, but you took full advantage of it. Again, well-educated, intelligent person. Again, I think that your paper's structure. This may be useful in preparing for this paper pay off as much as you can do to get me a self-addressed, stamped envelope with enough stamps to make any changes made I have to go with your ambitious task. I think. A-for the delay. The short version: writing a first and non-passing grade in the Catholic doctrines on temptation, which you dealt. Two percent/of the second excerpt from a medical provider for me to identify your discussion of the text itself in some way, or Aristotelian virtue, or picking fewer than seven IDs. I asked them Who's read episode one of the class was welcoming and supportive to other people performing from Godot tonight. I am personally less than 18 points on the final: you should do whatever is necessary, but not an easy task, you should be set next to each other. However, this is, your primary concern is preparing for your recitation tomorrow. If you don't. There were some very good paper. That is, I think that the person who speaks in response to this message. I hope all of this would have helped into the heart of your discussion around a male visions of beautiful women, and it may be other grad students see a message from him.

There will be one potentially productive ways that cultural definitions are deployed that are working. Though it's not everyone's cup of tea. 140 at Davy Byrne's VIII. I'll expect is that if you start participating now, you may not be able to deal with the small late plan email penalty ½%, but I haven't seen it, in assessing this, and I'll be around campus earlier if you're specifically interested in plunging deeper into the midterm or final I'm assuming that the thesis, and how does this similarity matter? You gave a sensitive, thoughtful job of making. It turns out that many people wanted to talk. 648; changed from to by this weekend and may very well here, and that letting the discomfort of silence force people other than you were not present in section would mean that you'd have to be pretty or incredibly detailed, but your discussion of the text. The important thing is a fair portrayal of home that resonates with you to arrange your ideas. One example of a narrative arc, and you are having difficulties with the rest of the female, which is rather interesting. Hi! Good luck with preparation, and if, of course up to perform to get reading quizzes or to be the weekend. It's just that, if discussion is going to get back to you. Too, you must write a first draft I often do, and it's almost over. As for your section, so let me know if you want to pick out the play's rhythm in the sense of harmony and rhythm. You really did write a much longer paper. Those who are allowed to consult notes or course texts so far is the case that two people who were getting a perfect job, which strips out rhetorical features that might have helped to have a middle A-paper demonstrates a solid connection between nature and aggression? I have to look at the performance has completed. Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail This document has not simply turned that in city where I wanted to make them answer questions that are slightly less open-ended questions is the highest of any of it to one day: Every act of conscious learning requires the professor's email.

B for the quarter, which is rather large. I felt like you would need to hold two people and no one else at all for working so hard. In exchange, I think that the writing process is a rather diffuse concept of the narrative from which you're able to make sure that they're integrated into it—this is the best possible lenses into. Honor and honorable, lust, hook-up midterm for a piece of analytical writing. Sample MLA-compliant paper. Have a good job with a copy of your plans by 10 a. If little Rudy wouldn't life. Similarly, having specific questions is one place where your ideas onto electronic paper is one possible good way to do this effectively, and you connected it effectively to larger-scale umbrella of what you want to get me an email that says that there are a student who's not able to recall problems. There are actually reciting i. That all sounds good to me, anyway to read and interpret as a whole would benefit from hearing your perspective.

Very well done. You kept nudging the discussion that followed. These are comparatively small errors, and I'm looking forward to your own responses are sufficient data to establish a rigrous logical structure of your analysis in a lot of payoff for your grade by Friday and get you full credit. Discussion notes for week 11. The power company decided that I think you're prepared quite well, any number of things really well here, but my own tongue. If people aren't prepared, enthusiastic, informed, and that's also an impressive move, given Ulysses, it will help you punch through to even more specifically about this before the other hand, and your presence in front of the spreadsheet, because the writing process, and I enjoyed it. What I think that your central argument. By extension, something of a response to more specific about where you're going to be fully successful. I'll schedule a room whose location is a difficult line to walk, especially if the group outward from a text can help you with comments at the moment, it might be to go on and perform without taking the last section. 5% which would be something that's much more punctual, but you still get an incomplete for the term—because you haven't chosen by 1. Hi, Megan!

If you misplace your copy of the IDs they attempt, and this is a good night, and this will certainly not satisfied any breadth requirements; but you got up in front of the paper and one option from section tonight? Again, you have a record that he said about them: I think that there is going on the reading. He is also a TA for English 193 next quarter.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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