i’ve noticed something about myself which is

i dont remember if theres been overlap of the two characters mentioned before, so in any of the aus where faith lives, what does her and read's relationship look like?

(this is kind of sadder than I mean to make it, but such is Faith, sorry! This is from the OG Faith lives AU: have a little faith)

It was Faith that found her, for one thing. Read had been circling the shelter where Faith volunteered, considering her options when the blood loss caught up with her. It was Faith that got into an ambulance with her and held her hand in the waiting room, convincing her not to leave. 

“You brought her home?” Izzy frowned down at his keyboard. “You’re okay?” 

“She’s not a danger to me,” Faith chided him. “And the shelter is full. Anyway, she needs a place to just catch her breath, I think she’s been running a long time.” 

“What was the full name?” 

“Israel.” 

“Faith. Just pays to know.” 

“Fine, let me see if I can get a look at her ID.” 

Izzy researched and read and came home with two bags of groceries. Read looked up as he walked in, accessing and tense. 

“Meatloaf or chicken parm?” he asked her. 

“This is my husband,” Faith sighed, closing her book. “Israel, this is Read.” 

“Yeah, I figured,” he gave Read a look. “It’s Izzy. Meatloaf or chicken parm?” 

“Um, meatloaf, please?” she ventured. “I don’t want to be any trouble.” 

“Then you can wash potatoes.” 

She stayed in their guest room for months. Faith took her out shopping and to get her haircut. They talk about a lot of things, late at night over tea and cookies. Read and Izzy get along well. They work out together and he tended to buy her things that he thought she needed and leave them on the guest bed like a cat with a dead mouse which she liked. 

But it was Faith that she was dedicated to. It was Faith that she would call regularly even after she moved out. and Faith that met Anne first.   

Mostly because that first night, Faith told her, 

“There has to be a first day eventually.” 

“First day for what?” Read asked, raw and tired and scared that she was trusting this weird couple in their big house. Not sure if she would stay another hour, let alone the long months that would follow. 

“A first day where you breathe a little easier. A first day where you wake up and your first thought isn’t ‘how do I make it to the next hour’. There’s a first day when you know you’re going to be okay. It’s coming, I know it feels far, but it’ll be here sooner than you expect.” 

“How do you know that?” Read had demanded, then winced. Faith was so much smaller than her and everything about her screamed ‘delicate, handle with care’.  But the woman didn’t flinch. She had looked Read right in the eye and said with the utmost confidence, 

“Because it happened to me. And I will make sure that it happens for you.” 

And Faith did that with Israel at her side. There was Lydia too, who seemed amused by Read’s existence and scooped her up occasionally to meet her friends, who were all gray-haired, and hysterically funny. Read wanted to be them, some day. Could see the future spilling out ahead of her. 

Lucius got her the job at the Revenge, but it was Faith who drove her there for the first few weeks until Izzy gave her the keys to the bike. It was Faith that helped her open up a bank account and taught her how to invest. 

“Why?” Read asked, years and years later. She was helping Faith set out a spread of food, a small party gathering for Lydia’s birthday. Read couldn’t say why she asked just then. She couldn't have known that this was the last party then.  “Why did you help me?” 

“Why do any of us?” Faith smiled at her. “Because I wanted to reach back and help myself. Instead, I got you and that was better.” 

Faith wasn’t there when Read finally got her social work masters, but Read felt her there anyway in her bones.

Girlfit! Gamer socks/armthings and a sundress might not go well together on paper, but I like this fit a lot 🩷 girls just have so many more customisation options to pick from. And you know what they say, you gotta Get Railed in a Sundress 😜

---

So! Girl Month is two thirds over... whats the state of affairs?

Its been a little while since I last posted anything substantive bc well... girltime has been normalised. In the first week I was very strict about wearing only "proper" girly clothes, not even using my normal dressing gown! But as time passed I've allowed myself to wear more unisex clothing - for better or worse. In general Girl month has become less... exciting and wild and more a mundane part of life. I go out in girlmode and don't think twice about it.

I've been on E nearly 2 weeks now with no effect, which I guess I expected but its a little disappointing. My nips don't feel any more sensitive than usual which is lame.

Sidequest 2 and 3 have not been completed, but I'm planning to complete 3 tomorrow which I'm looking forward to (shes soo hot). And I forsee myself completing 2 also bc like... cmon, how hard can it be?

Girl month has also been a little bit of a slut month for me- which has honestly been kind of the best part lmao. I mean my bodycount is still 1, but I've really enjoyed wearing revealing clothes, going out with my girltreat in, and thinking a lot about being a... well a free use fucktoy 😳.

Maybe I'll make another post trying to delve into the psychology of it, but I guess long story short... horny guys are gross, but horny girls are hot. That might only be true in my own lesbian*(?) head but I feel like its not just me who feels that way. Idk theres a lot to unpack there. Being a girl made me feel more confident being a pervert is what I'm saying, for better or worse.

(*For this month(?))

But to the main event: gender.

I started this month with the view that i was doing this for shits and giggles and nipple-orgasms.

I was planning to walk out of this having unlocked Cis+, as a BoyChad like Finnster who can walk through the Valley of Girl and not flinch at the feminine shadows cast over me.

But...

Rrrrrgh.

*deep sigh*

I guess... I'm probably not cis.

Yeah yeah I know the guy who volunteered to dress as a girl for a month for no reason is actually trans big surprise, someone call the pope, who could have seen this coming yada yada.

I will say that I'm not sure that I'm a girl either though.

I enjoy dressing up femme, and I get a little hit of dopamine whenever someone calls me Charlotte or uses she/her pronouns, but...

(Wait typing that sentence in real time just made me realise that i might just be a girl after all uuuh nvm continuing with my original point)

...I don't necessarily... feel like a girl? Like I mostly forget I'm a girl and then occasionally I think "oh yeah I'm supposed to be a girl rn. Or maybe... I just AM a girl for this month? Oh nice I'm a girl I guess sweet" and then carry on with my usual activities.

Although even that sounds pretty trans hmm.

(Good thing I successfully turned off Pop-ups or this post would be unreadable with the amount of Transgender XP I've gained lmao)

Does anyone remember that one comic? Its like the car driving "PENIS" face one except the thought is "im a girl". This is nonsense to non-tumblrinas I'm so sorry, if anyone finds the comic I'm thinking of please send it to me.

Anyway, i may not be a trans girl, maybe I'm nonbinary or maybe genderfluid or bigender or something else... but M** left Plato's cave when he became me/Charlotte, and I/she can't imagine going back in there and forgetting. Wearing a dress is just too much fun to quit lmao.

I definitely think i just don't have a very strong sense of gender in general- I've boymoded for family events and doctors appointments and felt no discomfort or dysphoria- but being a girl recreationally is just more fun!

I might do Boyweek in early november to try to solidify my gender opinions, but for now... my gender is almost certainly queer and i can't wait to find out what I become ^^.

Thank you everyone for reading and supporting me, thank you all my friends for being chill about this and thank you M & L for supplying me with E and thank you Y for being the madlad who took E for lols in the first place and MASSIVE thank you to the one who took me opshopping and opened my mind to polyamory and made this whole experience... just so much more comfortable and fun.

Oh and thanks to the random internet people who followed along too- Its been really cool to see this break containment in little ways!

Uuuh anyway this might feel like a very final retrospective post but I still have a couple of girlweeks left in girlmonth so I'll keep y'all posted with my future girlfits and antics!

Love y'all! ❤️🩷💜

i don't get it. im in a position where i can make so much progress. ive had interviews damn near every day this week. I go to therapy now. i dont do pills. i eat. i try to talk out what im feeling more. but its just not enough. theres STILL something there and im edging closer to it. i can feel it. im on the brink of something horrible. i dont know what's going to happen once i reach that point. im scared of what'll happen. but it feels like once it comes i wont be able to hold back. i genuinely dont know how i did this before

being so busy.. i think it was a buffer. i never felt involved in my feelings really. id just ignore them and hide them away. in one hand, im glad i am where i am. the highs i feel feel so different from back then. ive never felt satisfaction like i do now. some times anyway. but the lows STING. i can really simmer on them now. it gives the gnawing insecurities Ive been feeling a meaning. a place in me that i have to accept. i have to actively accommodate for it all now. or ill implode

every day feels like a gamble. i cant express how little i want to do/be here. i dont care about any of this fr. i care about hurting people. its paralyzing. Ive always been such a people pleaser and i cant let it go. I will minimize everything until i absolutely cant anymore. and atp i feel so backed into a corner. my only two options seem to be either blow up and forced somewhere until i can find the drive to do something other than killing myself... ooor... kill myself. i swear that wasnt on purpose lmfao. but seriously. i mean what are the other options? i can barely push myself to do anything anymore. i dont care to. id isolate from everyone if they didnt reach out so often. well that and they notice now. ive ghosted everyone too many times they all know to just act sad so ill come back T^T

i get really tempted to tell my best friend about all this. i feel like i talk too much about myself nowadays. or talk too little or too boringly on others. but then i reread ts i used to say back/how i used to say it and i think ? i prefer us now ??

HA nah. im sure its the insecurity talking. i really do love her. she is the one and only i know will stick around no matter what. no matter how boring or how angry i get she does not hate my guts. i wish i didnt like her so much tbh. it makes me angry how angry i get with her sometimes. i cant help myself when i notice something off. shes the one person i can openly express my frustrations without consequence. but i take it too far cause of it. ive had no experience with that sorta shit. i try to be better to her cause of it. i think its only fair. the junk ive put her through this last year.. the rage ive thrown at her. thee inattentiveness. selfish. ive been too focused on making myself feel better that ive let her sting because of it. i want to make it up tenfold. she deserves more. and if i cant have her in the way i want her, i will do my best in whatever place she wants me in instead. for now, thats been a more casual friendship. she doesnt talk to me as much about her feelings. her heart is really broken about her ex. as much as i dont understand what she sees in her i know that she needs her time to bounce back. i think shes getting it out of her new person. she talks about how annoying she finds her and how she disrespects her boundaries a lot. they broke up almost immediately. but she stuck around because she felt obligated to and now i think theyre building something better. hopefully. i dont meddle as much now. i dont want to hear it + prying shit from her is NOT worth the effort. when shes ready, shes so eloquent. i love listening to her talk. even when its about nothing

im gonna stop babbling about her now. i wish i wasnt so close with her i swear i make myself disgustingly obvious.. anyway. i bring up all that to say, her battery is dead. i want her to focus on making herself feel better for now. she needs to stop overextending herself so damn much. i wont let myself be another burden for her to bear. though with such a giant rush of new feelings and a single person that i know loves me no matter what.. its kinda hard

i wish that i could talk through everything with her. if only it were that easy.

i think im going to relapse not gonna lie. it makes no sense not to. ig for my health but aside from that? itll help me feel more careless. i wont need to cut myself, i wont need to blow up, i wont need to think anymore. i can just focus on acting sober annnd holding down a job. much easier than holding back whatever this is now. if this could come out of me without leaving a broken mess, i would. but if i ever told anyone my true feelings id make them sad. i need to lash out to gain the momentum to bring it up.

im gonna stop writing now. i feel like ill go on forever again.. its just been tangent after tangent

Ive seen a lot of Dream (and usually Techno and Phil too) as gods au (i have one too dw) but all of you are sleeping on the funniest option.

Tommy is the god.

Tommy.

hes the only one in that galaxy (other than drista ofc)

Just imagine how fucking funny it is like 

it would be so fucking hilarious

and tommy just doesnt tell them

so techno is just there making all these blood god jokes and jokingly telling tommy to serve him and tommys just laughing

imagine a god in the form of a chaotic 16 year old racoon gremlin just walts into your land commits arson and gets banned, only to come back with another person who he helps start a nation for drugs?

imagine how fucking funny it is

just

imagine tubbo banning a literal god from his lands and he just doesnt come back? he just plays by the rules? then goes and like sits in the corner all sad because some humans/dreamons told him to leave

ranboo, just joining the server: hi-  a chaotic gremlin god: wanna commit arson with me?  ranboo, just trying to vibe and maybe not disturb this god: sure 

Phil and Ranboo recongnize Tommy as a god on sight.

Everyone else just refuses to believe it. hes Tommy. Tommyinnit. hes just weird lol

And Drista being a fucking chaotic blood god? 

drista is open about her godhood and does not hesitate to spawn blocks

Drista finds Dream and decides she likes this small human, and dream just has to deal with it lmao.

drista and tommy are both born at the same time.

Tommy is a god of music, chaos, war and theivery (the last one bc he is a BITCH)

Drista is the blood god, chaos, deception, and theatre

okay but imagine the sbi interactions... like ig in this au tommy joins at like 12/13 years of age (in their minds) so he doesnt really grow much 

and like tommy, a literal god, just claiming phil as his father???

phil, in his house making eggs, assuming one of his sons woke up and came to the kitchen, not looking: hey son  tommy, from their couch, already deciding hes phils son now: whats up dad? phil: looks up at tommy who are you tommy: idk dad, who am i  phil: *stares at tommy for a second* eh i made extra eggs you can stay 

ASJIDGASUIOG IMAGINE TOMMY TELLING THEM HES A GOD BUT THEY THINK HES JOKING AND IGNORE HIM

everyone on the server: tommy is the youngest! tommy, as old as the universe: no im not!!!! im not a child!!!! he doesnt pout because pouting is for children and hes not a child but hes pouting tubbo: lol im older than you by a month tommy dont try to hide it tommy: im not a child!!!! techno: laughs

tommy doesn't try to hide that hes a god just its tommy

thats all the evedince anyone needs to think tommy isnt a god or powerful its like mcc hes good but only when he doesnt throw for content

quackity: sees drista written in bedrock lmao drista visited? tommy: yeah! i wrote that for her!  quackity: snorts yeahhhh sureee tommy

imagine like how fucking funny it is jsut like 

a fucking chaotic god breaks into your house androbs you makes a room under your house and decides to live in your floorboards

imagine dream like trying to manipulate tommy, and tommy a fucking anchient diety immeditly recongnizes what hes doing

but decides to play along for the angst and giggles and then actually gets mad when no one fucking cares for his theatrics

tommy, storming off to technos base to rob and build under: >:///// cant believe none of them acknoledged my  deppression 

i love that tommy stills robs everyone, he doesnt need to he can spawn in anything he wants

he just does it for the sport of robbery

JAKOGFSDOH

THE HOLY LAND

dream: im god actually tommy: thats so fucking funny lets make a cult about that :)  dream: see! look! im god! and jesus!  tommy: wheezing

imagine tommy getting stressed and letting go of his mortal form

Tommy, his human form peeling away, showing his actual form a bit: WH̸͘A͠T̷ ̶̢T͞H͢E ̡͘F̴̵͘Ù̧C͜K҉ ̶T͘͜͞E͟CHǸ͏Ǫ  Techno: HAH?

tommy just saw tubbo and got emotionally attached

Tommy, a literal god: hello Tubbo: oh hi do you like my pet bee? Tommy: you’re mine now Tubbo: im okay with this

tommy, a bored god: gives techno shapeshifting powers  techno, not even caring: changes into more human to pig-ishg forms as he wishes this is my life now ig 

phil lets tommy do fuck all in exile bc he knows hes a god hes fine

phil: IDC IF YOURE A GOD! YOU WILL DO THE DISHES NOW YOUNG MAN! tommy: grumbles but does them

phil is the only one who can control tommy

god... tommy... with star freckles... on his human form... (as well as his god one)

tommy: f̷͛͠a̵̋t̵̒̑h̸̚e̶̓͝r̸͊ ̸̐̒i̴ ̸̅̿d̷̉͆o̵͂͋ ̵̛̆ñ̸̾ő̶́t̸̎́ w̶͆͘i̴͠s̵̓̈́h̸͗́ ̵̯͗f̶͋́ő̴͑r̷̐̌ ̶͝é̵̽g̸͊͂g̵̒s̷͂̃  phil: idc, eat your goddamn eggs tommy: pouts

tommy, despite being able to get supplies himself by fucking spawning them in: hey tubbo? we need supplies 

In this au ig like if a god claims you you get a mark on your skin showing that. Drista’s would be like a green crown, Tommys would be a red and white disk (white as the outer ring and red as the center) (its different enough that if you don’t realise tommy is a god you wouldnt realise whos it is) (schlatt is the only one who never had one which shoulda been a sign dude :/)

Dream has two from the beginning, everyone else has only one, well until they meet drista. (sbi have had one since they met tommy, though they dont remember the first time they met tommy)

wait what if tommy like found them all as children one by one and later kinda pulled some strings to get them all in one kingdom. (he still joined sbi through forcing phil to adopt him) 

OKAY BUT IMAGINE IF TOMMY MET TECHNO WHEN TECHNO WAS YOUNG ENOUGH TO NOT REMEMBER

tommy would hang out with baby techno and tell him stories

once he told him the story of a man named thesus

another time he told him the story of a blood god

like for example tommys first time meeting techno would be like

(for context techno lived in a shitty village and was an orphan and it was kinda a dog eat dog place, he learned how to be strong because of it)(he was young enough that he doesn’t remember this well, just like learning about the blood god and someone giving him gold)

baby techno: sighs tommy, appearing out of nowhere: oh heyyy whyre you sad? techno: jumps turning around with a knife up ready for a fight who are you tommy: im tommy! :) techno: what do you want from me! you dont scare me! tommy: whats your name! techno: i have a knife! i'll use it! tommy: of course, thats a given, but its rude not to tell people your name techno, confused: t-technoblade? tommy: smiles thats a nice name techno: so. tommy: hm? techno: why're you here tommy: i don't have a reason. im just a traveller! techno: then why hole to this terrible village! theres nothing nice here! everyone is terrible and so are you! tommy: hmmmm i dont agree techno: what are you? a child? i thought adults were supposed to know that everyone is mean tommy: mmhmm looks at the bruise on technos face where'd you get that? techno: fight. i won. i'll win against you too! so don't try anything. tommy: of course. i would never win in a fight against a blood god techno, putting down his knife a bit, stars in his eyes: blood god? tommy: grins blood. god. i think she'd like you. techno, muttering: maybe i can give the blood god some of your blood tommy: laughs yeah, she'd defenitly find you intresting tommy: here tosses techno a golden crown at techno, he spawned it in in the moment techno: whats this? tommy: a crown, thought it suit you screams in the distance tommy: huh. i need to go. have fun lil piglin. ruffles technos hair before running off towards the screaming unbeknownst to the pig the blood god was actually the one waiting for the god he met. techno: stares at the crown 

Techno found a pouch of gold in his ‘house’ later that day. he didnt know who left it but it helped him get food for that night. (he kept the crown)

okay but imagine tommy not taking the war seriously at all, and only seeing it as a squabble between mortals, Like toddlers fighting

dream: SURENDER BY TOMMOROW OR WE'LL DECLARE WAR! wilbur: FUCK YOU WE'LL NEVER SURENDER AND JOIN YOUR SMP! Tommy: how cute

tommy doesnt realise that theyre serious until wilbur dies

tommy would usually go apeshit against anyone who dares messes with his humans, but what is he supposed to do when his humans are fighting Eachother?

wilbur: fucking goes insane and dies  tommy: hey- hey can you guys let me talk to wil for a sec? everyone else leaves tommy, unsually somber: sorry i didnt help you i forgot how easily breakable mortals are tommy: this time you wont die, and i'll make it so that you dont break again, okay? tommy: brings wilburs soul out of its body and enters his mindscape ghostbur: wakes up what- where am i? tommy: hi there ghostbur: who are you tommy: i go by a lot of names all, one, you, the world, the universe, god, but you can just call me tommy ghostbur: oh okay. who am i? tommy: you're name was wilbur soot. you were the son of philza minecraft and brother to Technoblade, Tubbo and myself. ghostbur: was? tommy: well you see, you died. ghostbur: oh... well what am i then? tommy: a ghost! well actually its your choice. would you like to continue your existance or fade away with your body? ghostbur: i dont want to fade away! tommy: smiles thats what i thought you'd say stretches his hand to wilbur ghostbur: grabs tommy hand tommy: lets go home

ghostbur doesnt remember that though

he only remembers the good

tommy wont let him remember the bad, what if he breaks again? mortals are so fragile

phil realises what tommy did as soon as he sees ghostbur 

drista, painting tommys nails (there both in god form btw) (after wilburs death btw): tommy shouldn't you of all gods realise how fragile they are?  tommy: i know just... forgot  drista: sighs and nods i get what you mean, especially with the ones we found... they act a lot like gods sometimes i forgot they arent  tommy: ikr? wait- drista here gets drista's hair out of her face you were gonna get it on my nails, anyways, don't judge me. we all know if dream died you would turn him into a ghost too drista: smirks not if you do it first, we all know you would tommy: you say that as if you wouldn't fight me to do it first  drista: .... tommy: ... drista: both of us when he dies? tommy: nods tommy: anyways my turn to do your nails 

or like tommy with ghostbur like

ghostbur: i don't like this :( tommy, a worried brother and god: whats wrong? ghostbur: everyone is mad at me and i d-dont know why- why are they mad at me tommy: theyre mad at something alivebur did ghostbur: b-but im not alivebur sniffs it hurts. i dont like it. tommy: spawns in some blue here ghostbur: whats that? tommy: its some blue! it'll help you not hurt anymore! ghostbur: how does it work? tommy: see how its blue? ghostbur: nods tommy: well its blue because it sucks up all the bad feelings! it'll help ghostbur: !!!!! ghostbur: presses the blue into his chest ghostbur: !!!!its working!!!! :D tommy: smiles good

wilbur fucking died and tommy went from annoying little brother to caring older brother

tommy just wants to help his brother :) though he doesnt realise that not letting ghostbur remember bad memories isnt good

*at logsted shire btw* ghostbur: who are you? tommy, chuckling: did you forget me already ghostbur? ghostbur: i didnt forget you! i think! you're tommy! i just... you're different tommy, looks over at ghostbur: different how? ghostbur: you're not normal are you? tommy: grins whaaaaat? you think im weirdddd? how heartbreaking... my own brother thinks im weird, this is terrible ghostbur: giggles tommy: but really, don't worry about it bur. ghostbur: you sure? tommy: yeah, dont worry about me ghostbur: smiles okay! do you want some blue anyways? tommy: giggles sure! ghostbur: grins

ghostbur isnt worried about tommy

he knows hes strong

phil having to tell tommy that he cant just not let wilbur remember the bad memories

and tommys like "what if he breaks again!" and phil hugs him and tells him to at least ask ghostbur if he wants to remember and tommys like ‘fine’

tommy: hey bur? ghostbur: yeah? tommy: do you like you're memories? ghostbur: i mean, yeah its hard not to when you only remember the good tommy, quietly: would you want to remember the bad? ghostbur: w-what brought this question on tommy: answer the question ghostbur: no- alivebur was badi shouldn't want to- tommy: but what do you want bur? wilbur, silent for a moment: yeah- yeah i do. not that i like the bad memories! they hurt... but i wish i could remember tommy: ... ghostbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? ghostbur, with tears in his eyes: do you think they'd be less mad at me if i could remember, maybe then i could repair my relationships, what the hell am i supposed to do when i dont even remember hurting them? tommy: what if they dont? what if you break again? ghostbur, saltily: we'll maybe i'll be able at least be able to say i know why everyone hates me tommy: i know how to get all of your memories back ghostbur, looks towards tommy in shock: you do??? tommy: nods ghostbur, voice wavering: for how long tommy: since the beginning ghostbur: and you didnt tell me tommy: i did what i thought was best. i just didnt want you to hurt anymore. ghostbur, angrily: WELL THAT CLEARLY WORKED DIDNT IT? tommy: sorry wilbur, sometimes i forget how to handle humans ghostbur: what- tommy: sighs and taps ghostbur on the forehead and ghostbur does the ghost equivilent of passing out tommy: wont hide any memories this time

ghostbur doesnt wake up, instead wilbur wakes up weither thats good or bad we'll see

wilbur, waking up with all his memories: HOLY SHIT TOMMY WASN'T KIDDING phil, who was reading beside the bed tommy placed wilbur into, which was in technos house. yes he broke into technos house with a passed out wilbur. move on.: hm? wilbur: holy shit phil: huh? yeah. wilbur: wait you knew? phil: yeah i recongnized him as soon as i saw him about 5 years ago now? wilbur: excuse me while i freak out because my little brother is an actual god

it really hits wilbur that tommy is a god later

wilbur: hey tommy? tommy: yeah? wilbur: how fucking old are you? tommy: snorts of course thats the first thing you ask wilbur: well? tommy: i dont really know the exact years since years are kind of a human thing that were invented recently wilbur: they were invented thousands of years ago- tommy: but it was around the beginning of this galaxy wilbur, softly: what the fuck

tommy telling wilbur stories about different heros and villains and different humans he met during his life.

Adsjbffsg what if Tommy made himself blonde and blue eyed and white bc thats hyow the first human he met looked like asjfhsd

and just didnt change that, despite meeting new humans, its just his defult settings.

he would totally do this tho im crying.

drista just based her human form off dream because she is his sister now. he must deal with this. trying disowning me when i look like you BITCH.

thats my take anyways later might continue this

okay so, im about to go ham because i truly stand strong in my shoujo fantasy.

In my opinion, im pretty sure (like 89%) lucifer tells us that whenever mammon breaks off a relationship with someone, they go broke completely after. so hes had previous relationships before, as for the rest of the boys, im pretty sure lucifer has, but nothing serious, he wont let anyone in, MC is literally the only person who has pushed past his walls and seen him for more than pride. satan, 100% he has never had a relationship, levi, has had a couple of fwbs and other relationships but they always fizzle out, never lasting. asmo has never had a serious relationship, always just flings. belphie never had a serious relationship and same with beel. i truly believe MC is their first true loves, i know what youre thinking "theyve been alive for so long, theres no way someone couldnt have been special to them" but the thing is, theyre so different with MC; their entire dynamic and relationships changed with MC, MC saw them for more than their sin and got to know them to their very core, while yes the other relationships never lasted, thats not to say the boys didnt love them; but just not in the way they love MC. i believe MC to be a true love, not just a love, the difference for me is all of the boys would gladly give up chasing MC once she finds herself happy with another brother, instead of forcing them to choose yk? the "as long as youre happy, it kills me everytime i look at you smile at him, but i love you too much to let you be miserable with me" and i dont think any of them have experienced. also, with the whole "new relationship" thing, the honey moon phase, while yes every couple has it, i feel like with MC it would just, last. not to say they wouldnt have fights; ofc they would, but its different with MC, everyday the brothers would wake up and chose the option to love and fall in love all over again, speaking further on that, i dont think any of them would truly get over MC. and i mean that; (i dont think MC is going to die, obey me devs have something planned LOL, plus theyre super powerful, like the other anon said i dont think theyd be able to really function without them, even if they do "get over" mcs death at some point.) after MC dies i feel like the family dynamic wouldnt be the same, the brothers would get quieter and would never truly forget about it? and every relationship would fail because theyre not MC (you dont have to agree but i love reverse harems), like i 100% hc that after MC chooses another brother or after they die, mammon would try and try to find new flings, even after its been decades mammon finds someone whos super similar to MC, their look, personality, etc, but one wrong move and theyre out. (say MC doesnt like pickles, but the replacement for MC does, he would immediately start crying and call mc a stupid human who he shouldnt have fallen for.) anyways in conclusion, i truly dont think MC would ever die canonically in the obey me game, the devs are sneaky (love you devs), but even if they would, i really feel like they would never get truly over it. some part of me truly believes that the brothers would go back to being distant, how they were before. they would sit at the table and eat in silence, asmo would begin partying ten times harder (since we already know he uses his ego to cover up his major insecurity of people not liking him and how he feels about himself) and the brothers would become even more indugled in their sin. also, for every relationship they would have, they would just compare them to MC, and yeah but I cannot see MC dying. the other stuff about what the brothers would be like after MC dies could also be applied to when MC chooses her s/o. i think the brothers would be super fucking hurt, that was their first love, their first understanding who walked out and chose someone who wasnt them. anyways thats all, you dont have to reply i just felt like i needed to get this off of my chest, also im gonna be pretty frequent on your blog ( i love ur writing ) so im gonna call myself cake anon! have a great day! - cake anon

Hello Cake! iluuu! Thanks for this, i really love getting every ones take on these things! And there is defs a lot that i agree with here. 

I agree with the Mammon part. Out of all of the brothers, i feel he is probably the easiest to get emotionally attached in a relationship, so i see him as the one with the most previous relationships. Asmo coming in second, but his being mostly flings or poly/open relationships. I’m sure Mammon has had some serious ones as well as many flings, where Asmo’s have never been overly serious and certainly never long lasting. I’m also sure Luci has had a few, some more serious than others, but he wouldn’t get overly attached emotionally. I’m sure he’d be too busy with Diavolo since arriving, being the workaholic he is. I’m sure not many partners would be willing to deal with that level of non-commitment and emotional unavailability from him.Levi I feel like all his relationships never left that awkward early stage, and his only ‘serious’ relationships would have been strictly online, maybe a couple meetups that made him nope right out of it. Satan, again, has probably just gone on some casual dates but didn’t have much interest in actually dating rather than gaining connections. i feel like Beel is the most likely candidate to have had healthy previous relationships. He is pretty well balanced emotionally and has a good outlook on love and family values. I’m sure he’s had a few serious relationships and has dated his share of people. Belphie gives me vibes of had one or two previous serious relationships that did not end well at all and now he’s a salty sob over it lmao. 

I still don’t feel like MC is necessarily their first true love, but maybe the first different kind of love for them. MC has reached them in ways no one else has, they don’t try to change anything, they fit in well with the whole family, they understand their sins etc. I have loved a few different people in my life, and each one was such a different experience for me. The first guy i loved, i consider to be my first true love. However, it didn’t work. And then i met the man I eventually married, he wasn’t my first true love, but it was a better kind of love, yk? 

And uugghh you ripped my heart out with how the brothers would feel if MC chose a different brother!!!! Because they all would be so heartbroken it’s not them, but they really truly just want mc to be happy and cared for, and they know their brother would keep them safe and provide well. 

A few asks ago, i mentioned that the brothers would move on eventually. I think there is a big difference in moving on and getting over that I maybe didn’t articulate very well. If MC were to die or choose someone else, they would move on eventually, but they might not ever really get over it. My heart hurts just thinking about how they would feel trying to move on. Like you mentioned, the empty, quiet dinner tables, lackluster parties and festivals, it would be like they lost their best friend. (i giggled picturing your mammon scenario with the pickle because that’s exactly how he’d react to something so small lmaooo)

I also agree that i don’t think the devs will kill mc off (again), that just seems like a really crappy way to end the game!! I’m curious to see how they would make different routes go if you can only romance one of them end game, vs you being able to have them all? I wonder if we’d get a choice in the whole becoming immortal thing or not? 

Sorry if this reply was too long and rambly, i absolutely love discussing these kinds of things!! I always welcome these asks!!! 

For the smut prompts... either 42 or 43 for hammertooth? (if you feel like it!)

I finished this a couple weeks ago but totally spaced on posting it, oops. I guess it counts towards Rare Pair Month, but I can't decide on which prompt it fits best. Whatever. Here it is!

Prompts: 42) “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.” ; 43) “Don’t you want to play with me?”

To Live For You

Magnus had always thought that falling in love was about being willing to die for someone. That’s what it had always been in movies and books, even when he got old enough for the kinds of entertainment that had sex in them too. So he’d always been sure that love wasn’t anything he was interested in, because he couldn’t imagine ever making that sacrifice for anyone.

~

“Maaaagnus. Ams you coming to beds?” Toki is sprawled across the sheets, easily taking up the entire mattress—a double, because he’d sworn up and down that a smaller bed is better for cuddling.

If it weren’t for the younger man’s complete and utter nakedness, Magnus would pretend to complain about there not being any room to join him. This sight never fails to leave him momentarily speechless.

~

Then he had almost died. Almost killed himself, in fact, but not for anyone.

Well. Maybe for himself. That instant when the veil had come off and he’d realized how massively, hugely, collossally he had fucked up had been really fucking harsh, and he hadn’t wanted to face it. Because teaming up with cannibals and murderers? Against actual, literal gods? After being so firm in his conviction that he’d had everything in hand and was totally in the right, he’d just figured there was no coming back.

~

Toki’s hands wander down his washboard abs, teasing. He wets his lips suggestively and then puts on an impressive pout. “Don’ts you wants to plays with me?”

His hands dip lower. Magnus, watching, swallows hard.

~

The thing was, he’d come back anyway—or been dragged back, really, and he’d deserved it for trying to duck out of the hard part.

Dying, it turned out, was easy. It was living that was hard.

~

“Yeah,” Magnus says, finding his voice again. It’s a touch hoarser than it was when he’d last left it. He has no idea what to do with his hands. “Yeah, I’m coming. You starting without me, sweetheart?”

Toki grins in that way he does, like Magnus has made his day just by noticing him. Of course I noticed you, Magnus thinks, have you seen you? It’s far more of a miracle that Toki wants his eyes (well, eye anyway) on him at all.

His gaze catches on the one scar on Toki’s front, the place where his knife had come out the other side. There’s a familiar clench in his gut at the sight—the one that reminds him that he doesn’t deserve this, and the only reason he gets it anyway is purely by the grace of this young god (retired).

It doesn’t send him into a downward spiral quite the way it used to, but the reminder is always there. A cautionary road marker: danger, do not swerve again.

~

And it had been very, very hard. Magnus didn’t like to think about the early days of his recovery. Between being dragged into some mess of apocalyptic prophecy and coming to terms with the horrible things he’d done, he’d been a menace to anyone who had come within snapping distance. With all the excuses stripped away, he’d stumbled through the painful process of really looking at himself and his choices.

~

“Well,” Toki says coyly, recapturing his full attention, “I thoughts if you were going to stays up longer over theres I’d just . . . gets off all by myself. . . .”

Magnus is watching his face now, but knows the exact moment Toki takes himself in hand from the way his breathing changes and eyelashes flutter. The show he’s putting on is having its intended effect; Magnus’ fingers twitch reflexively from muscle memory, and getting out of these jeans is an increasingly appealing idea.

He is not lucky. He has not earned this. But still, he has it, and he’s trying to be worthy.

~

It had taken years, and one world-wide close call with oblivion, barely averted, before Magnus dragged himself in front of Toki to offer amends. He hadn’t expected forgiveness, knowing that he didn’t deserve it—but, as his therapist had told him repeatedly until threatening finally to tattoo it on his arm just so it would finally stick, it wasn’t about deserving anything.

Saying it, apologizing, while looking into the eyes of someone he’d literally stabbed, kidnapped, and held in a basement, had been the final stab in the gut that had really, really driven it home. Everything he’d done laid out before him, laid bare in his own eyes while the ultimate figure of accountability watched him unpack it all, piece by fucking piece. Magnus had done it because he’d earned the pain of it, and afterwards Toki had touched him on the shoulder and said three words that had dragged him back to life.

I forgives you.

~

“You’re such a fucking flirt,” Magnus mutters, grinning. He’s already fumbling with his belt because, as far as he’s concerned, what Toki wants Toki gets. Once it’s undone he gets his pants, underwear, and boots off in two kicks. His shirt follows, a simple matter of shrugging out of it since the front is, as always, already undone.

Compared to Toki, Magnus is scrawny and wrinkled. He feels self-conscious about this sometimes, but Toki always tells him it ams just how bodies are, and he tries to believe him as best he can. The matching knife scar on his own chest (same knife, same hand) doesn’t bear thinking about.

He perches on the edge of the bed near Toki’s hip, birdlike, still unsure of where to put his hands. Such a shame that everywhere isn’t a practical option; Toki would like that.

Once, Toki had told him that’s what being a god had felt like: millions of hands all reaching out in unison to touch, pray, worship him, more intoxicating than all the drugs and alcohol in the world. He doesn’t talk about it often, worried that Magnus might get jealous or something, but when he does there’s this faraway expression on his face like he misses it. Maybe not enough to go back—if he even could, Magnus has no idea—but a good memory nonetheless.

“I'm here now, see?”

~

It wasn’t about what he deserved. Sometimes, what he’d done crept up on him and left him feeling so ashamed at the person he had used to be that he could have died all over again—but he didn’t.

Magnus had never thought he’d be worth the work it would take to piece himself back together until he felt like a person again. He still didn’t.

Toki always told him that he was worth it because he didn’t feel like he was but still tried anyway. For Toki.

~

“I sees you,” Toki sighs, and reaches for Magnus’ hands. He guides one to his half-hard cock, wrapping it around and guiding it to move with his, and the other to his mouth, kissing the knuckles. His breath and lips are hot against Magnus’ skin. “Wants to feels you, toos.”

“Is that so.” Magnus leans over him to steal a quick kiss, then shifts around so he isn’t reaching at a weird angle, and settles with one knee between the other man’s toned, tan legs.

He has, on other occasions, explored every inch of those legs with his hands and mouth. Other parts of him too. All of him. And he will likely do so again, many times, before the next time death comes for him. For now, Magnus follows the guidance of his lover’s hands. He watches as Toki draws his fingers into his mouth like a sucking candy, overwhelmed—first one, then a second, then a third—and sits up obediently when Toki urges him to.

“Wants you,” Toki moans again, biting his lip, urging the pace faster and giving Magnus his fingers back to prepare with.

So he does, eagerly, and before long he’s lining up, teasing against Toki’s weeping head until hands grip his hips tightly but firmly and pull him down like gravity.

Toki’s eyes are shining, starlike. “Loves you, Magnus,” he says breathlessly.

~

For Toki.

~

Magnus wonders if that really is starlight, some sort of cosmic leftover from whatever it was exactly that Dethklok went off to do as gods when they saved the world, or if it’s something else. He’d always assumed that love was about being willing to walk through fire, but maybe—and this is based both on himself and what he knows of Toki’s shitty childhood—it’s the willingness to crawl towards the light.

“I love you too.”

Anyone who has been following me for a while has probably seen me talk about a project I’ve been hoping to get started - creating a Queen themed tarot deck. Well, good news, I’ve finished basic planning stuff and I’m ready to start actually making the cards!

BUT I am definitely not up to creating 78 individual artworks, so that’s where this post comes in. 

I’m looking for artists who would like to create a piece or two which will be used in this tarot deck. I’ve organised general ideas of what each card will feature so that we get a good range of images and theres a connection to the meanings of each card.

For the moment I’m going to focus on the Major Arcana of which there are 22. So, if you are an artist in the Queen fandom and would be interested in participating please follow the link below to a short survey I’ve created where you’ll be asked to rank the cards in order of which you’d be most interested in creating art for. 

LINK

Below the cut I have included the list of cards and the prompts for each one, as well as some other info about the project. If you have any questions that weren’t covered below please send me a message (via ask box or dm)! 

If you see this and aren’t artistically inclined please give it a reblog. I’d love this post to reach as many artists as possible and I can’t rely on tumblr to show it in the tags or anything so I would love some extra help spreading the world. 

Why A Tarot Deck?

I’m honestly not even sure where exactly this idea came from. All I remember is that one day I thought it would be a fun idea and then I started thinking about it more and realised just how much work it would be. In an effort to learn about the meanings of the tarot cards I started learning to read tarot (something I’ve been curious about for many years now anyway) and it all sort of snowballed from there. 

Why Multiple Artists? 

Because I’m not confident or capable enough of pulling this off on my own lmao. I enjoy making art but I struggle big time with drawing people and faces and I know I would give up after a handful of cards if I was doing this on my own. But multi-artist decks are very much a thing in the tarot community and theres some really cool ones out there. 

What Sort of Art?

Anything. Whatever medium you enjoy using - digital, watercolour, acrylics, charcoal, etc - and whatever your style is! As long as you can send me a clean copy that can fit into the card template, then you can do what you like. The prompts I’ve chosen for each card are also fairly loose because I didn’t want to limit anyone’s creativity. Part of the joy of a collaborative deck is everyone’s individual interpretations of the cards and the imagery on them. 

The only times I may say you can’t depict a particular outfit or moment is if I’ve already planned it to be on one of the minor arcana cards but otherwise you’ll have free reign. 

 I Don’t Know Anything About Tarot, Does That Matter?

NOPE! After the survey responses have been collected I will deal out the cards to everyone (hopefully in a way where everyone gets to work on something they really want to 🤞) and part of that will include a PDF with some information about the card - keywords associated with it, examples of other decks, why that prompt was chosen for it, etc - to help you get started if you need it. I am also always available to ask questions or bounce ideas off of. 

Distribution?

This is the part I’m still looking into. I am wary of putting these up for sale anywhere because obviously there are copyright things and using people’s likenesses and all of that and the last thing I want is for my favourite band to take me to court lmao. Currently I am investigating a site called Make Playing Cards which basically lets you design your own card decks (one of the specific options being tarot cards) and print them off without having to bulk order anything. I’m just not entirely sure if they let you upload and share a design for free or if you have to put them up for sale. I’ll also create a PDF version that people can print themselves at home if they like. If anyone has any other suggestions for this I am all ears! 

Of course something like Kickstarter is also an option I guess but, again, I’m still looking into all of this. 

Time frame?

I definitely do not want to rush this. The loose timeline I’ve been working off of gives you three or four months to create your card after which time I can start finding people for the minor arcana cards. But, this can be adjusted depending on how many people sign up and y’know if everyone submits their pieces earlier than that then we can bump the next stage up. But I want to give everyone ample time to create something they are proud of. And I am very aware that the current global situation is affecting people’s creative energies and on top of that some of you may be participating in Inktober or similar things around this time of year, so I am also happy to extend the timeline.

What Happens If Not Enough People Sign Up?

Look, I guess it depends on how few artists are interested. Ideally I’d get enough people to do the major arcana but I’m not getting my hopes up. There is a question in the survey asking if you’d be willing to create multiple pieces so if there are left over cards I can hand them out to anyone who says they want them. I can also do a couple myself I just can’t do all 78 cards on my own. 

What Happens If Too Many People Sign Up?

I am surprisingly prepared for this scenario. Firstly there were a few ideas I was throwing around that didn’t end up being used in the final list so potentially we can create some alternate cards. 

Secondly, there is still the minor arcana to do as well. The minors will work a bit differently though. The minor arcana is similar to a deck of playing cards with four suits (wands, cups, pentacles, swords) and the numbers ace through ten plus four court cards (king, queen, knight, page). I was thinking the same artist could pick a number or court position and create the four cards for it so that they all match, if that makes sense. That way all of the Fours will look the similar and all of the kings will look similar etc. SO if anyone doesn’t get to do a major arcana I’ll check if they’d be interested in tacking a minor instead. 

You Said There Would Be A List Where’s The List?

The Fool/s - Smile

The Magician/s - Queen

The High Priestess - Freddie in The Great Pretender

The Empress - Roger in The Great Pretender

The Emperor - Miami

The Hierophant - The Prophets Song

The Lovers - Freddie and Jim

The Chariot - Tour Bus

Justice - Present Day Bri

The Hermit - Older John

Wheel of Fortune - A Night At The Opera/Bohemian Rhapsody record

Strength - Ben Hardy

The Hanged Man - Highlander (or any of the queen songs featured in it)

Death - Bri in the Hard Life video

Temperance - Naked bicycle race

The Devil - Death on Two Legs

The Tower - Frank from News of the World

The Star - Rami Malek

The Moon - Gwilym Lee

The Sun - Joe Mazzello

Judgement - Adam Lambert/Q+AL?

The World - Made In Heaven/Tribute Concert

As you can see there’s a mix of Queen themselves, other people associated with them, objects associated with the band, and songs. I know some of these are sightly out there or unusual but please have a think about them and see if any spark your interest or get the creative juices flowing. I am also open to discussing potential other images to use instead if you’ve got an idea. As long as they can be tied to the meaning of the cards. 

in defense of “but jet tried to drown an innocent village”

that “innocent village” had been a fire nation military outpost for years industrializing utilities to further aid imperialism while enacting on colonialism, which was implied by the so-called “innocent old man” in the forest who was decked out in fire nation gear, if not armor to suggest he was one a solider, who in that space was not only a natural state of violence being a colonizer, but also the implication he once acted on a physical violence in order to be there and drive out how that could have been an earth kingdom ACTUALLY innocent old man. the sheer ignorance portrayed in sokkas flashback that was conveniently washed out of color so you couldnt actually see what culture was prevalent in that space, which was probably mostly fire nation. This method was done to symbolize it didnt matter what colors those people wore, they were still meant to be presented as “innocent lives”. however, in another flashback, you do see a group of earth kingdom villagers, but I think this was in poor taste and inaccurate to the situation at hand because being a military outpost, they were the oppressors and it DID matter that they should have been depicted as so, and not depicting that properly and not displaying the truth which was it WAS A MILITARY OUTPOST literally shaped the way audiences thought jet was wiping out 99% of innocent lives for the sake of a 1% on top of it. regardless, this 1% managed to have the power to oppress a 99%. There was a power structure going on, and it was clear who had the upperhand. 

let’s emphasize that oppressers cannot be oppressed. 

By every way Jet exists, the fire nation influenced him as it stripped him from his family, his friends, his culture. The way he acts, talks, dresses and even fights was plagued by the fire nations invasion on his land. There was no gentle method of driving out that sort of violence. There was no way of warning a 1%. They didnt even believe sokka until a fire nation civilian amplified and validated his voice. Not to mention this village did absolutely nothing to help the freedom fighters, why would they owe them anything? Theres such a “holier than thou” mentality because people refuse to step in the others shoes, but simply because they want to simplify a situation that is far from simple, or at least in its simplicity ends up driving an uncomfortable conversation. Yes, Jet has his faults. Yes, the destroying of the dam and peace is a preferable option; he just didnt have the luxury of a thing called peace. He only knew the effects of genocide, fear, and a growing population of people who only set out to hurt him. 

Jet isnt “pro genocide”, hes ANTI-GENOCIDE and im tired because I’ve heard people claim hes no better than the fire nation. These people dont realize not only the effects of PTSD, but also the effects of colonialism. The Fire Nation killed in order to exercise that they thought themselves better than the rest of the world. They exercised their power over other nations and sought death for the sake of taking more space. “all was fine until the fire nation attacked.” Jets method of violence was rooted in liberation, and by all means.

Jet wanted to avenge his people and when sokka says something along the lines of “who are you freeing? theyd all be dead.” does drive a point, but its also ignorant towards all the things sokka wasnt aware of and didnt look into. The freedom fighters were made up of survivors, there are hopefully other survivors. Yes, there is a way this is impulsive because he didnt have other survivors to validate his vision. It was just hope he was doing something productive. It was hope for a new beginning. It was hope he could be a hero in the face of so much displacement and loss. 

By creating jet as an equal villain, it’s in poor taste. Everyone loves an anti-hero until.. well :) Anyways, liberating =\= oppressing. Some great perspective quotes that I found useful in educating myself include some made by Malcolm X: “If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing.”  and “ You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.”

- I hope I articulated this alright, all I know is how put off I am about some things I’ve read and am doing my best to educate myself because fiction reflects real life sometimes. I’ve tried really hard to see this from all angles, especially from the ones being oppressed. It’s tiring when people don’t bother to see this perspective. If anyone wants to give me their two cents, feel free to help me educate myself further. I’m absolutely not saying his method was perfect and in a completely moral/unproblematic stance. disclaimer:  i wrote this angry at 2am.

Me and my OCs:

This isn't just about my pokemon oc's. No no no no. This is my journey of me having 0 Oc's ( not knowing what they where back then) to having far too many for my own good.

It started back in middle school, where it was one if those rare creative writing periods. We rarely get those, so of course I was excited. This was also when I started reading a lot of fantasy books, specifically YA novels. So my imagination ran wild, and I created my first oc.

Her name was ViraBlue. Yes that sounds like a online profile. Yes, she was very edgy. Yes , I tried to write a very bad story for her. And no, I'm not going to go into it. The only thing I will go into, is that I thought it would be cool for her to have a team. A five man band if you will. Teen Titans was my favorite show at the time, and I was getting introduced to anime AND I was reading wattpad due to my friend who suggested it to me. So this was spelled for disaster. Though I will say I realized my passion for creative writing. Even if my own writing was terrible.

I'm going to skip over all middle school and a bit of highschool to just say that my Oc's evolved. For example, ViraBlue was no longer her name. As of now her name is Elora. Also, her and her team are no longer just white people. Elora is a wonderful black woman such as myself, and honestly I feel FAR more attached to her than I did before. Also when remaking my ocs to be more diverse( both in race and in body diversity),I learned Asian is a umbrella term, so it doesn't just mean China or Japan. It also means Thailand, India, the Philippines, and much more! It really opened my eyes a lot to the world around me actually.

So yeah, you'd think that'll be it, right? WRONG. Cause theres more! A lot more. So much more I'm gonna but it on bulletin notes :)

Somewhere between highschool and middle school, I was very interested the pokemon protagonist, in terms of what they were like as individuals.

Now I know that that's very weird, given the majority of the protagonists are blank slates l, but two things. 1) Hilda's design has so much attitude that I REFUSE to believe she's a blank slate( eventhough she is) and 2) sun and moon brought back and older Red, with his own semblance of personality. I was so happy when it was announced.

But after searching the internet, and realizing the chance of me getting my preteen hands on the manga were low

So I did the only reasonable thing and make my own oc for each game and have them replace the player character as the main protagonist. Every main series game. Except the Kanto ones. I....I've had enough of kanto. I might change my mind later.

I'm actually almost done! All I have to do is finish USUM, and play emerald and heartgold and I'll be done.

I was so invested in this that I made myself a ( linear) timeline to keep track of things, as well as trying to find characters ages as a reference. Oh my god, that was a lot.

Then they're was that sequel idea that I had for my first Oc's story( the one with Elora). I didn't even finish the first story! Let alone start writing!

It didn't help that the setting of the story was a full erease universe and a timeskip into the future away from the original story. No I will not elaborate.

The main character's name is an ( sun?) elf Imani and she's tall ( duh) and really likes her history and her friends.

I then realized that these two stories where very important to me,so it would be best to work on them more to flesh them out......

Until I made a new set of characters for a supernatural thing. I literally just made a person,her brother, her friends, her brothers friend,her brothers love interest, and the siblings moms that aren't always there because one of them is basically the grim reaper but not really abd the other help with purifing damaged souls or something like that. Mind you, I have no specific story for them, except they live in New York and do stuff. That's it.

Now would be a good time to say that all of my ocs are LGBTQ+, and I don't mean this as a flex. I say this because they honestly have helped me trying to find myself. I still don't know what I am, or if my feelings are real, but I do know that these characters made me appreciate the change of it all. Like Elora and her team where all straight white people, and while there is nothing wrong with that, the more I changed, they've changed as well. Elora is now asexual biromantic. Now that's not what I'll exactly call myself, but it's kinda close. I think. Idk. Not to mention that I'm now more aware of the world around me, and the struggles people face( even if I'm still learning)

Anyway back to ranting.

CHOICE. OF. GAMES

How dare they exploit my love for character creation and choose your own story games!

Honestly, besides my own characters, and some outside factors, Choice of games made me aware that men liking men is real, and so is women liking woman, and that non-binary people exist!

For granted, I still didn't understand it at the time, but in Wayhaven chronicles I choose the men and women option and didn't look back.( I only played the demo cause I have no money)

Then I started playing a lot of wips, and somehow made 4 characters that reflect 4 play styles that I personally like playing.

Eventually they became so big in there own that I thought " these are the type of ocs that I'll just mess around with. No overarching story, just a good ol time" and for once I stuck by it.

Though for some reason I gave them a theme of the deck of suits????( Like diamond, heart, spades and clover).

There's Jamie( diamond). They're the shyest of the bunch. A lot more withdrawn and tend to freak out a lot( like me!) Though when the time comes, they're quite possible the bravest in the room. They come from a rich family cause why not. They're omnisexaul.

Then there's Edric( heart). Friends( and enemies that he likes) call him Eddy. He's very flirty and down to have a good time. He wears what he wants and does it in ✨ style ✨. He can wear a clown suit and make it look sexy. He's asexual panromantic.

Min( spades) ! I got the name from playing Smoke and Velvet: The Gnawing Chronicles ( by @roast-ifs ) cause I was to lazy to come up with a name and it just stuck. For the most part she's more stoic than the rest. Not entirely an introvert, but not extroverted either. She's try's to keep her emotions to herself, which for the most part she's very successful at, but it can get hard when it comes to people she cares about ( both platonically and romantically). In another wip called Secrets of Swatheforn ( by @swatheford ) she's actively trying to NOT acknowledge her feeling for one of the ROs ( Cass) so that's fun. Min is a trans women, and is bisexual ( women and non-binary people)

The last one actually is the least developed out of all of them. I know that they're non-binary, and that they represent clover. I actually haven't played as them as much as say Jamie or Edric has. So yeah. They exist.

So that my very long oc journey. I don't except my creative mind to stop, but I really have to many. Sooooo yeah! That's all.

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did.  I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl. 

I think kabu and minatos relationship  is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over.   you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time

time for skyrim, wherein i briefly remember to check in on the plot and then promptly get distracted away from it again five seconds later 

ah. that. is absolutely made of flesh, huh

oh fuck is it time. are we doing this 

so reading the scroll caused me to get. teleported into a moment in time when alduin attacked before, i think ? ? ? ? it was very confusing and overwhelming

OH this is bad this is very bad 

so now i think im supposed to. talk to someone about a thing to sort out potentially Trapping A Dragon In The Middle Of Whiterun which i have. not been doing 

however speaking of whiterun i finally fucking managed to kill these two alik’r guys who were just stuck in the walkway (i already finished that quest ages ago and couldn’t do anything else to interact with them, they would just say like generic ‘good morning’ responses if i tried to talk to them, they were just Stuck there) without getting caught 900 tries later. i dumped their bodies under the bridge and somehow nobody suspects a thing even though i dragged them down here in plain sight of like 2 guards. nobody saw me kill them, so clearly i am innocent here 

straight and to the point, i see 

ive been on a recurring quest with this guy giving him more and more money to excavate this tomb where all his miners keep getting murdered by draugr over and over again in the most incompetent mining expedition the world has ever seen, but i have so much fucking money at this point it doesnt bother me in the slightest i just think its really funny (and i can Hear a dragon shout wall somewhere so i figure i gotta keep this up until they get it unburied) 

oh 

he was getting them dead on PURPOSE

come to think of it this does look quite a bit more like ritual sacrifice than draugr attacks but what do i know  

[sitcom mom voice] raaaaalis, did you murder all those people? [laughtrack]

i guess he was either killing people or was possessed to kill people or was at LEAST sending people to their deaths intentionally, im not sure, for the glory of ahzidal and its not entirely clear whether he was a knowing, willing participant in this mass murder or if he was just being used by ahzidal but ultimately i decided i didnt really care, ive killed tons of people including The Fucking Emperor Of Skyrim, for the glory of the night mother, so Who Am I To Judge 

haven’t we all committed murder because some ancient powerful being told us to. come on now

so i just let him go :’) i dont know if theres any particular consequence here one way or the other, i see him around the tavern sometimes but he doesn’t really want to talk to me (reasonable enough) 

PLOT TWIST: THE FALMER WERE THE FUCKIGN DWARVES’ FAULTS APPARENTLY?

this cabinet has been stuck in the shelf for ages now (or maybe it always was and i didnt notice before) in my windhelm house and i figured it would eventually reset itself but uh. no such luck, 

ok you can’t really see what’s going on here but THIS FUCKIN GUY :’) 

so i broke into the markarth temple of dibella bc i had a quest stuck in my mission log to steal a statue from them and i didnt really want to do it but i was tired of it being there and i really, really wanted to know what secret ritual was taking them this fucking long to complete so like. i just kinda walked in. i didnt try to sneak around them or anything which is apparently not what you’re supposed to do bc my dad didn’t even KNOW about this whole thing when i mentioned it bc ‘just waltz right on in there like a dumbass’ hadnt occurred to him as an option, but anyway, 

the dibella priestesses catch you and they’re like ok maybe you can earn forgiveness if you go find and rescue our future sybil (like. prophet/speaker for dibella i think) so i agreed to do that

id much rather rescue a child from the forsworn than steal a statue for some rude old drunk guy anyway 

i go to investigate and i find the kid’s dad, and im like hey ill save your daughter, and he’s like oh i must come with you to help and im like sure sounds good lets go 

THIS GUY GETS KILLED. SO FUCKING EASILY :’) HE TOOK ONE ARROW AND DIED ON THE SPOT

so THEN i got really, really goddamn determined to get this fucker through this forsworn camp some fucking how, i did not want to show up to rescue this child and have to tell her i let her father get murdered, and it was too late to go back and tell him not to follow me, but i did have a quicksave to reload from before we left the village 

so i just kept going. i kept trying. i kept running ahead of him and killing as many forsworn as i could before he could get up there and get insta-killed again. i kept repeatedly healing him and watching where he was at all times to make sure he didn’t die again. and i fucking did it i got him all the way through to his daughter ALIVE AND WELL 

i did get a little reunion scene between them, i dont remember if he gave me anything at the end or anything so there’s not Really any reason to go through that much effort to keep this dumbass man alive other than “how much do i care about the wellbeing of this fictional child” but i am proud of myself nonetheless 

the “Fuck All Men” ability. very nice

90-100 :)

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

oh there’s so many that i haven’t been to, but wannnt to so badly! but i miss austin so dearly! i lived there for four years of undergrad and just moved back to my hometown after graduation, because, you know, pandemic :/ but anyway-- i miss the coffee shops that serve cocktails or fresh pastries that seem to have been around for decades, i miss the creek running through campus, i miss seeing birds flying at night and watching them... and realizing oh no, those are actually bats!! i miss the parks i would study at when the weather was nice, i miss stumbling upon a little concert for some indie band. i do NOT miss how hot and humid it would get in the summer! and the gentrification :-( but i do miss austin

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

hahahahhahhahahahahahahahahahaahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahahahaha okay, i HAD planned to go to New York as a graduation trip, because i’ve never been, and honestly i WOULD die for it, but i wasn’t about to be a super spreader :/ more broadly, i might try LA for film/tv when... well i don’t know. 

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

well i think i use a moderate amount of cheese but i DO drown it in red pepper flakes!

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

just down. 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

my cousin’s birthday is on thanksgiving! 

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

i don’t have plans lmao

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

procrastinate ;-)

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp i think... pisces, ravenclaw lol

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

oh i love hiking!! its been a while and theres really no reason-- its one of the best socially distance activities, they say, but the last time i TRIED to go hiking with my parents, all the trails were too crowded! rip... but we have gone out to picnic at a lake a couple times, which was nice!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

seven by taylor swift, goodbye my danish sweetheart by mitski, all of bury me out at makeout creek by mitski but especially first love/late spring and last words of a shooting star, where does the good go by teagan and sara, cruel by st vincent, imposter syndrome by sidney gish, 400 lux by lorde... i could go on but im now seeing how long this is already!!

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oof i ned to know more! is it my current self time traveling or am i reliving my life from 5 years ago/skipping the next five years? if its the former, am i supposed to talk to my 17 year old self or my 27 year old self or just do my own thing? i wouldn’t wanna be 22 in 2015 and i wouldn’t wanna be 22 in 2025 so lets entertain the second scenario... theres so much i would do differently if i was reliving the past five years... but i don’t think i would ever WANT to RELIVE that :-( i always talk about how much i want to skip the next few years until im 27 in a stable career and a stable relationship but do i really trust myself to get there enough to skip through it? idk. even though i would do anything to skip these uncertain years (in my life specifically) i don’t think i would want to skip it? maybe if i had lived my last five years better, the next five years would look more promising, so i think i would go back– i feel like theres so much happiness and success i missed out on in the past five years... ( no, that’s stupid, there’s a pandemic! there’s nothing promised for anyone!) plus i just talked about how much i missed living in austin. i think this is a trick question. i think you have to be really unhappy with your life to choose either of these options and im. well im trying to be happy with where i am at least...

uhhhhmmm on that note!!! thank you for the ask! wow im so embarrassed about how sad my life seems!! okay bye! <3

ATTENTION QUEEN FANDOM ARTISTS

I’m organising a fandom wide collaborative art project - creating a Queen themed tarot deck! I’ve organised general ideas of what each card will feature so that we get a good range of images and theres a connection to the meanings of each card but I can’t create all 78 art pieces on my own.

For the moment I’m going to focus on the Major Arcana of which there are 22. So, if you are an artist in the Queen fandom and would be interested in participating please follow the link below to a short survey I’ve created where you’ll be asked to rank the cards in order of which you’d be most interested in creating art for.

LINK

Below the cut I have included the list of cards and the prompts for each one, as well as some other info about the project. If you have any questions that weren’t covered below please send me a message (via ask box or dm)!

If you see this and aren’t artistically inclined please give it a reblog or share it with any artists you know. I’d love this post to reach as many artists as possible and I can’t rely on tumblr to show it in the tags or anything so I would love some extra help spreading the world.

Why A Tarot Deck?

I’m honestly not even sure where exactly this idea came from. All I remember is that one day I thought it would be a fun idea and then I started thinking about it more and realised just how much work it would be. In an effort to learn about the meanings of the tarot cards I started learning to read tarot (something I’ve been curious about for many years now anyway) and it all sort of snowballed from there.

Why Multiple Artists?

Because I’m not confident or capable enough of pulling this off on my own lmao. I enjoy making art but I struggle big time with drawing people and faces and I know I would give up after a handful of cards if I was doing this on my own. But multi-artist decks are very much a thing in the tarot community and theres some really cool ones out there.

What Sort of Art?

Anything. Whatever medium you enjoy using - digital, watercolour, acrylics, charcoal, etc - and whatever your style is! As long as you can send me a clean copy that can fit into the card template, then you can do what you like. The prompts I’ve chosen for each card are also fairly loose because I didn’t want to limit anyone’s creativity. Part of the joy of a collaborative deck is everyone’s individual interpretations of the cards and the imagery on them.

The only times I may say you can’t depict a particular outfit or moment is if I’ve already planned it to be on one of the minor arcana cards but otherwise you’ll have free reign.

I Don’t Know Anything About Tarot, Does That Matter?

NOPE! After the survey responses have been collected I will deal out the cards to everyone (hopefully in a way where everyone gets to work on something they really want to 🤞) and part of that will include a PDF with some information about the card - keywords associated with it, examples of other decks, why that prompt was chosen for it, etc - to help you get started if you need it. I am also always available to ask questions or bounce ideas off of.

Distribution?

This is the part I’m still looking into. I am wary of putting these up for sale anywhere because obviously there are copyright things and using people’s likenesses and all of that and the last thing I want is for my favourite band to take me to court lmao. Currently I am investigating a site called Make Playing Cards which basically lets you design your own card decks (one of the specific options being tarot cards) and print them off without having to bulk order anything. I’m just not entirely sure if they let you upload and share a design for free or if you have to put them up for sale. I’ll also create a PDF version that people can print themselves at home if they like. If anyone has any other suggestions for this I am all ears!

Of course something like Kickstarter is also an option I guess but, again, I’m still looking into all of this.

Time frame?

I definitely do not want to rush this. The loose timeline I’ve been working off of gives you three or four months to create your card after which time I can start finding people for the minor arcana cards. But, this can be adjusted depending on how many people sign up and y’know if everyone submits their pieces earlier than that then we can bump the next stage up. But I want to give everyone ample time to create something they are proud of. And I am very aware that the current global situation is affecting people’s creative energies and on top of that some of you may be participating in Inktober or similar things around this time of year, so I am also happy to extend the timeline.

What Happens If Not Enough People Sign Up?

Look, I guess it depends on how few artists are interested. Ideally I’d get enough people to do the major arcana but I’m not getting my hopes up. There is a question in the survey asking if you’d be willing to create multiple pieces so if there are left over cards I can hand them out to anyone who says they want them. I can also do a couple myself I just can’t do all 78 cards on my own.

What Happens If Too Many People Sign Up?

I am surprisingly prepared for this scenario. Firstly there were a few ideas I was throwing around that didn’t end up being used in the final list so potentially we can create some alternate cards.

Secondly, there is still the minor arcana to do as well. The minors will work a bit differently though. The minor arcana is similar to a deck of playing cards with four suits (wands, cups, pentacles, swords) and the numbers ace through ten plus four court cards (king, queen, knight, page). I was thinking the same artist could pick a number or court position and create the four cards for it so that they all match, if that makes sense. That way all of the Fours will look the similar and all of the kings will look similar etc. SO if anyone doesn’t get to do a major arcana I’ll check if they’d be interested in tacking a minor instead.

You Said There Would Be A List Where’s The List?

The Fool/s - Smile

The Magician/s - Queen

The High Priestess - Freddie in The Great Pretender

The Empress - Roger in The Great Pretender

The Emperor - Miami

The Hierophant - The Prophets Song

The Lovers - Freddie and Jim

The Chariot - Tour Bus

Justice - Present Day Bri

The Hermit - Older John

Wheel of Fortune - A Night At The Opera/Bohemian Rhapsody record

Strength - Ben Hardy

The Hanged Man - Highlander (or any of the queen songs featured in it)

Death - Bri in the Hard Life video

Temperance - Naked bicycle race

The Devil - Death on Two Legs

The Tower - Frank from News of the World

The Star - Rami Malek

The Moon - Gwilym Lee

The Sun - Joe Mazzello

Judgement - Adam Lambert/Q+AL?

The World - Made In Heaven/Tribute Concert

As you can see there’s a mix of Queen themselves, other people associated with them, objects associated with the band, and songs. I know some of these are sightly out there or unusual but please have a think about them and see if any spark your interest or get the creative juices flowing. I am also open to discussing potential other images to use instead if you’ve got an idea. As long as they can be tied to the meaning of the cards.

Kids III

in which Anne yells and you bring up the dead goldfish.

She’s really yelled at him good. 

The kind of yelling that makes someone flush, short of breath, the veins in the neck more prominent and eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. She’s done it before, sparingly, but she’s done it before. 

She’d raised her voice at him when he got into the garden years back and ripped out all the tulips she had planted. And she’ll never forget the look on his face when she scolded him in the dairy aisle at the supermarket for throwing a container of yogurt at Gemma. Maybe there had been one or two other occasions where she’d lost her temper, but she couldn’t remember. 

And there was never any issue that arose where she couldn’t fix it with her words. She was wise, and if anything, as logical as possible. She was Harry’s confidant and she thrived off that. Problems big or small were always brought to her, and solved by her. 

But this one thing in particular, the source of this vehement argument taking place literally right in front of her, that may have surpassed motherly wisdom. 

“One hell of a gift it is, Harry,” your voice is shrieking so loud Anne’s sure that she’s already blown one of her eardrums, “blowing up like this on your mother’s birthday.” 

The urge to want to crawl into her own skin is almost consuming her when she hears Harry’s voice come thundering back in response, practically falling short of breath as he tries to get a word in edge wise. And she thinks that, before this manages to spiral into something worse if it’s even possible, maybe now is a good time to place herself in the middle. And she does open her mouth to speak, until she’s promptly overpowered by the shrillness of your voice. 

“You humiliated me! Wanted to embarrass me in front of a big group of people? Was that your plan?”

“Did it work?”

She’s never really seen him this cross before. Sure she’s seen him angry, plenty of times. She’s seen him frustrated, fed up, but not quite like this. And at first, maybe she understood. If anyone knows how badly he’s been aching for a child of his own, it’s Anne. But this was almost unnerving.

“Well maybe you should just go find someone else,” you hiss, “someone who wants a baby, if you can’t get past this.”

It was really just a passing thought in your head. Nothing much more than a low blow, something to fuel the fire and maybe even piss him off a little bit. And maybe you shouldn’t have said it all. Maybe it should’ve remained as one of those things you just keep to yourself, be

“If m’being honest, think I will!”

“S’enough!”

She’s decided to break her vow of silence. Partially because she doesn’t know how much longer her eardrums could go without one of them bursting, and more so because she’s found herself aghast, even a bit dumbfounded, at how far Harry’s willing to take this argument. 

But the estranged, and definitely unusual sound of Anne’s bellowing shout was enough to lower his voice. Yours too, even though you were at a loss for words either way. 

She can see the look on your face very well, and knows as much as Harry does that you’re only seconds from tears. And it’s technically still her birthday, so she’s willing to take advantage of that in order to avoid any tears and another minute of screaming and shrieking. 

“This,” she growls, arms flailing in exasperation, “is not how two people communicate, understand? Y’can talk it out like adults, or go off apart from one another until y’bloody figure out how to communicate without saying hurtful things.” 

He’s still seething. It’s scribbled all over his face, the way his arms are folded, how he rolls his eyes and mumbles under his breath each time he glances over at you. 

And your chest is still burning, eyes still glossed with tears and breathing still ragged and uneven. You can feel your stomach clenching, the words he spat on you on a taunting loop in your head. Over and over and over and over again. And you can tell he’s not feeling a lot of remorse, if any, because he still can't bring himself to look at you for more than a few minutes. 

“M’going to bed,” Anne’s voice cracks the silence, her hand reaching for her bag, “two of y’wore me out.” 

It’s almost like your glued to your spot. Your feet are punishing you and your body is stuck, because regardless of how badly you want to recoil to your bedroom your body refuses to move. And the two of you stand there for a minute or two, feverishly avoiding each other’s gaze. His arms are still folded, and the silence is so dense you can almost feel it choking you. 

And you consider saying something, offering the chance at a civil and leveled conversation. Your lips even move a bit and your mouth opens to speak, but he doesn’t allow you the privilege. Instead, he turns on his heel, sucking in a breath before walking out of the room and slithering off down the hall. 

The silence in your bedroom is just as stiff as it was downstairs. Except now it’s only you, back flat against the mattress while your eyes keep their stare stuck to the shadow of the tree casted by the outdoor light. Your thoughts are all jumbled together, mind moving faster than it should be this late at night. And you’re still reeling from the argument, nervous to hear what Anne will have for you in the morning. 

“Sleeping?”

His voice is an emotionless murmur, his fingers curling around the door as he pokes his head in. With him he brings in a bit of light, letting a sliver of it pour into the bedroom as he waits for you to answer. He thinks he’s missed his chance. Your a lump on the bed, slathered in sheets and a duvet. And he frowns a bit when he sees the set up on his side, how you placed two pillows so that it wouldn’t be completely empty when you rolled over in the middle of the night. 

“I’m too tired to fight, Harry.” your waving your white flag now, eyes still stuck to the ceiling. 

“Didn’t come t’fight.” 

He takes that as a way to introduce himself to the room. His fingers blindly search for the light switch, bringing them to a dim before he closes the door behind him. 

And if he felt bad before, he feels even shittier now, because he can tell you’ve let a few tears go astray just by the way your eyes are irritated and your expression is beat. He’s beat too, though. If you thought being ignored sucked, ignoring you was just as hard. 

Theres a bit of space on the end of the bed before he consumes it, throwing his legs up to sit parallel to you as you sit upright across from him. 

Clearly he didn’t plan this very well. He has no idea how to start, what the right thing to say would be. He can tell, very clearly, that you’re as defeated as he is. He thinks apologizing might be a good kick off to a long overdue conversation, but he’s not sure what he’s sorry for quite yet. He’s not sure if his apology would be justified if he genuinely didn’t mean it. 

“I’d be a shitty mom.” you joke, but he doesn’t laugh, he just frowns with a furrowed brow.

“I don’t think so.”

“Harry,” you sigh, disappointment a hallow but evident undertone, “I killed all 4 of our fish.” 

For a second, he thinks he might explode. He’s momentarily under the impression that all this, all the fighting and hostility and silence was over some stupid fucking fish you brought home from a street carnival.

“They were fish.”

“You’re missing the point.”

But he keeps his mouth shut, anyways. His lips are sealed tight because, okay, maybe he is missing the point. And he really does not have it in him to seek out another screaming match, especially with Anne just down the hall. 

“I forgot to feed them because I was busy,” you insist, “I’m working all the time, Harry. I’ve set a goal for myself and I’m working towards that, you know how that is.” 

He wants to rebuke. So badly. He’s familiar with goals, he’s set plenty of them. He’s spent most of the hours in a day working towards accomplishing them. A lot of his time for the better half of his life has gone into getting towards those goals. So as badly as he wants to come with a rebuttal, he doesn't, because he does know how that is. All too well. 

“Yeah,” he exhales, “yeah, I know.” 

“Know you don’t wanna hear it but a baby right now would just make it so much harder for me.” 

He doesn’t wanna hear it. He never wanted to, still doesn’t. Even in a levelheaded, calm conversation, it still stings a little. And he can’t surprise the look of disappointment on his face when he hears it again, as much as he would like to for your sake. 

“There’s things I wanna do first,” you acknowledge, “before I can say I want a baby. Could take me a year, two, I don’t know, three or four even? It’s not fair of you to wait for me to be ready for a baby when you want one right now, soon.”

A brief moment of silence is slotted for thought, to which he takes advantage of. With brows furrowed together, expression flustered as he submits himself to thought, he thinks about it. He’s thinking about it. 

“I won’t make you stay,” you sigh, but your voice is wavering just enough to let him know your composure is cracking, “isn’t fair of me to ask you to give up anything, either. And I don’t want you to wait for me to be ready for kids when you want them so soon. Could be a few years, Harry.” 

“Wouldn’t be a shitty mom,” he encourages, and you playfully roll your eyes when you think about the fish, “couldn’t be.”

You’re waiting for the crushing blow. And you’ve fully prepared yourself for the heartache to follow, for the words to come out and for him to admit he doesn’t wanna wait. You’ve put the offer on the table and provided him the option freely, knowing the price you’ll pay and knowing it’ll be along the lines of one of the toughest pills to swallow. So when he opens his mouth to speak you can’t help but literally hold your breath. 

“I’ll wait ten if I need to.” he smirks, and you can finally let that breath go.

the beach house on crack: a love island au

alright lads so basically i’ve been binge watching love island and got to thinking about how jake and amy would be if they were in the villa bc you know it’d be spicy af so naturally i called up my resident brit @fourdrinkamy​ and the two of us wrote up some (4k words of) headcanons!!! If you dont watch love island then 1) culture yourself 2) it’s a british reality tv show that’s like a better version of the bachelor

“The premise of Love Island is simple. A group of attractive 20-somethings are made to couple up and share a bed—regardless of whether they have a romantic connection—in a villa on the Spanish island of Majorca. New cast members and challenges are introduced to make things difficult and they are made to recouple.” - time.com (oh + the winning couple gets £50k)

keep reading below the cut for some reality tv/brooklyn nine nine madness!!!

· so jake and amy are part of the original ten in the villa, obvs, along with charles, terry, gina, sharon and rosa and a few other randos who we don’t care about

· when jake comes in amy thinks he’s cute in a goofy sort of way but she doesn’t step forward (therefore admitting she would want to couple up with him) bc she wants to keep her options open and what not but jake thinks shes a BABE so he decides to couple with her anyway

She’s not mad about it though, he seems like a good time

charles choses rosa and she is Not Pleased bc he seems like a goober (he is)

Terry picks sharon and they become like the jack and dani of the season (kinda)

· Charles and jake instantly bond and have one of the best bromances in love island history

· Gina is the biggest pot stirrer the island’s ever seen and is constantly trying to get terry away from sharon but he doesn’t ever budge

· within the first few days its clear to amy they’re just gonna be buddies but that’s fine bc while he likes orange soda in his cereal and is possibly the messiest man she’s ever met he’s really funny and they’re really good at all the different competitions and she’s got the perfect wingman for when mr. right does come around!

· jake doesn’t mind either bc amy’s super chill and also wants to join the police academy so they can talk cop movies which is dope and also they smoke the competition when it comes to challenges

· Amy loves that they get given water bottles and forces Jake to drink it in its entirety x3 daily

· The first set of new guys/girls comes into the villa and while amy and jake both try neither of them feel anything so at the first recoupling Amy chooses to stay with jake so they both can stay and try to find someone

Rosa choses the new guy marcus much to charles’ disappointment

· jake gets everyone in the villa to start making title of your sex tape jokes and it becomes a running joke and the public gets it trending on twitter

· Over the course of the next week or so they have become each other’s best friend in the villa and often find themselves hanging out one on one even when they don’t have to, to the point where everyone else is questioning whether they actually like each other or not

· The islanders get a text from the producers (“I GOT A TEXT”) saying each couple has to pick two other couples they think are the least compatible and whoever has the most votes will get dumped from the villa, but even though jake and amy are in a friendship couple the rest of the couples think they have such good chemistry they don’t receive a single vote

· jake’s thinking the same thing and confides in charles after a few drinks and charles convinces him to say something to her

Charles is already a self-defined “melt” for jake & amy

THATS WHEN TEDDY COMES INTO THE ISLAND dun dun dun

Amy’s instantly drawn to teddy and everyone is excited bc she finally found someone she’s interested in

“He’s 100% my type on paper”

jake is genuinely happy for her ( “how do i look? Is this lipstick too much?” “you look great, ames”) but at the same time is a sad lil puppy

That night they recouple and amy chooses teddy and the public are sad bc jake and amy belong together!!!!!

Gina recouples with jake to keep him around bc she’s his mate le duh

amy’s all excited that night because she finally has someone to cuddle with but teddy just??? rolls over and goes to bed??? uh okay…

Also he snores. Big time.

Charles brings his sleep apnea machine and between that and teddy’s snores no one can sleep

On the brightside no one can hear the couples who are ~doing bits~

(A/N to clarify: in the villa, everyone sleeps in the same room which has six double beds & you share a bed with whoever you happen to be ‘coupled up’ with at the time)

· The jimmy jabs is totes one of the competitions they do and jake lets amy (and therefore teddy) win bc he knows how bad she wants it……and because he still likes her

· The heist, on the other hand, is something jake comes up with on his own and eventually everyone in the villa starts swiping things from each other

· Eventually this super hot girl sophia enters the villa and jake is SMITTEN

Jake in the interview room: “Looks like the gods have finally answered my prayers…”

iain the narrator: “Yes, the gods. Or, our producers wanted a bit of action so they asked our intern to find out your type.”

· Pimento enters the villa the same time as sophia and he and rosa are instantly drawn to each other and poor marcus doesnt stand a chance

They become co-presidents of the do bits society within like a day, even doing it in the middle of the day

Jake walks in on them doing it TWICE in one day and just silently backs out of the room, it’s not like he needed sun cream anyway

· sophia gets to pick two guys to take on a date and one of them is jake and amy is v jealous bc teddy is a dud (not that she’s going to admit that to anyone apart from in the talking head…just yet)

“I just don’t get what he sees in her honestly? Oh god…am i jealous of sophia?! Noooooo…”

Iain the narrator: “Yessssssss…”

· Amy’s been trying to get to know teddy, but it turns out the guy is a total snoozefest, which she tells gina and rosa one day while they’re getting ready

“All he ever talks about is pilsners. I dont even like pilsners!!!”

“Also, I dunno if you guys noticed this but the guy wears mesh underwear. Like why? Is it medical? How do you even ask that?!”

· Jake and sophia immediately hit it off and in the same episode it becomes v clear amy is over teddy and his lack of a personality

Theres a recoupling where boys pick and jake picks sophia and teddy picks amy but amy is Not Pleased

· A group of the islanders (led by Jake) creates a game where they take a shot every time Teddy chooses a pilsner to drink

charles is pissed by like six pm

· UH OH THERES A KISSING CHALLENGE

The islanders play snog marry pie, so basically the boys line up in a line and the girls pick a boy to make out with and one they’d want to marry (and one they want to throw a literal pie in their face)

Sophia snogs jake ofc and then says she’d marry some rando (again who we don’t care about)

Amy, however, chooses to marry teddy - “i’m marrying you because i think we’d have cute babies who would go to code camp” - AND KISSES JAKE. jake is surprised but also not upset?? And when amy pulls away jake seems to lean in for more!!!

Cut to sophia in the talking head like “HANG ON. why did she kiss jake and why did he look like he was going in for more???”

Sophia gets pissed off at jake who’s genuinely confused

“It was just a game??  Like i’dve kissed anyone bc that’s literally the game”

“Yes jake but you clearly went for more. And you didn’t have to slip your tongue into her mouth.”

Jake tries to clear his name but sophia’s not having it

“If you liked amy you should’ve just told me, not made out with her in front of me and the whole damn country”

She storms off after that leaving jake alone on the swinging couch

Cut to jake smiling in the talking head: “amy kissed me…”

NEXT TIME ON LOVE ISLAND…

Just kidding i don’t have enough follow through to make two posts so we’re just gonna do it all now

· After all that ~drama~ sophia goes to sleep on the couch but jake, ever the gentleman, tells her he’ll take the couch and she can sleep in the bed

Teddy and amy still share a bed…i mean it’s not like they cuddled before anyway…

· Everyone in the villa gives jake crap for his bedhead and amy crap for her old lady glasses

Jake def makes the glasses/penis comment and iain makes some snarky narrator remark

· Jake and Amy kinda dance around each other most of the day and then they hear Gina announce “I GOT A TEEEEEXXXXXT”

“Islanders, tonight there will be a recoupling. The girls will choose their partner. The remaining boy with be dumped from the villa immediately. #choosewisely”

Everyone in the villa immediately turns to jake and amy

· After a proper gassing up from gina, rosa, and charles jake finally goes over to amy

“Hey ames, can we go for a chat?”

Amy tucks her hair behind her ears as she gets up heheheh

Gina, rosa and charles don’t even try to hide the fact that they’re watching the entire conversation unfold from their spot on the day bed

· They go to the hanging couch (the best spot in the villa in my humble opinion) and jake finally tells her how he feels!!!!

“Look, i dont wanna be a jerk…I know you’re coupled up with teddy and it’s going really well. It’s just…”

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen at this recoupling and I think I’d be pissed with myself if I didn’t say this. I kinda wish something could happen between us…romantic stylez. And i know it probably will never happen because you’re happy in your couple but…”

· Before either of them can say anything more they’re cut off by terry announcing he has a text!!!

“Islanders, it is now time for the recoupling. Whichever boy is not chosen to recouple will be dumped from the villa immediately.”

Jake and amy just kinda stare at each other for a few seconds before amy finally gets up wordlessly and walks to the bonfire

· In classic love island fashion, amy has to choose her boy last, so it’s down to just teddy and jake. Whoever she doesn’t pick has to leave the villa.

Everyone, e v e r y o n e is visibly stressed. Charles is full on crying, and rosa is clutching pimento’s hand so hard it may or may not break by the end of the night

Teddy, god bless him, looks completely at ease. Jake keeps scratching the back of his neck and wringing his hands

· Finally amy takes a deep breath.  

“I chose this boy because…he makes me laugh. He’s a good friend, and he knows me better than anyone in the villa. Also – he’s probably gonna make fun of me for saying this – but he’s, like, really fit. I don’t know, I just would be so, so sad if he left the villa. And I want to give us a chance to go beyond friends.”

At this point the camera flips to jake who is giving her the smallest, sweetest smile and then to teddy who’s finally catching on.

“The boy I choose is…”

*dramatic-ass pause*

“Jake.”

· THE MUSIC SWELLS. JAKE WALKS OVER TO HER AND GIVES HER THE SWEETEST KISS. EVERYONE CRIES, EVEN ROSA.

Amy smiles as they pull apart.

“So, a lot of change around here, huh?”

He kisses her again. :’)

· The first night they sleep together they don’t kiss but they do spoon

Jake is almost always the little spoon and at first he gets crap from the other boys when they see this but he doesn’t care because being the little spoon is the best!!!!! He gets to wake up in amys arms like hellooooo

· Amy and jake are surprisingly affectionate??? Not in a weird way like charles and genevieve but amy just always seems to have a hand on his knee or what have you

For the record, amy was NEVER like that with teddy.

· Amy has a STRICT no-sex rule in the bedroom bc hello they are on national television her abuela could be watching!!!! + it would be super weird to do bits in the same room as charles…of course jake completely and utterly respects this and doesn’t even question it. If he has to go 6 weeks without sex even though he’s sharing a bed every night with the hottest girl he’s ever seen then so be it

· UNTIL it’s announced via text that The Hideaway (a private area/bedroom in the villa away from everyone else but still not the cameras Obviously this is love island) is open and the islanders get to choose a couple to stay there for the night. Having had to put up with their blossoming love and flirting 24 fucking 7 everyone else unanimously screams “jake and amy!!!! It has to be Jake and amy!!!!” and they just grin at each other

· The bed is so big and covered in rose petals & there happens to be a very handy bowl of condoms on the bedside table…at first they just talk about how nice it is to get some alone time and just hang out….which of course turns to kissing and then making out and then………under the covers they go (for those who don’t actually watch the show it’s literally like seeing sims wahooing but irl) (maybe we see a cheeky black and white shot of amy moaning)

· The next morning amy wakes up with the BIGGEST grin on her face and her hair all mussed, and she kisses jake awake “morning, baby” and he immediately pulls her into him and kisses her back

Jake’s talking head: “Last night? Last night was….it was amazing. Stupid good. That’s all I’m going to say.” our boy!!! Cannot!!! Stop smiling!!!!

· When they get back to the main villa they naturally segregate into boys and girls and the guys immediately ask jake “how was your night? Did you get any??” “oh my god, did you FRENCH???” “charles, no nothing happened”

· (in true Jamie style) he goes over to the day beds with amy and lets her cuddle into his chest and asks if it’s okay if he tells people what happened in the hideaway - he’s a gentleman!!! And he’s always going to respect her boundaries!! Amy tells him of course that’s okay, people are going to find out anyway and that it’s really sweet of him to check with her…and she laughs to herself when jake goes back over to the boys and she hears charles scream “I KNEW YOU WERE GLOWING”

· Rosa and Gina casually-but-not-so-subtly ask amy “so did you shag? Tell us everything” and amy just smiles….rosa and gina look at each other like noice, they’re so proud of her!!

Rosa later confides in amy “the amy i knew two weeks ago would nEver have done that with Teddy…i’m happy for you, santiago”

· CASA AMOR. the boys have to sneak out of the villa (jake goes into full on spy mode rolling around on the carpet) and get shipped off to a separate one that has 6 new girls in it and then 6 new boys enter the old villa to shake things up (reality television at its absolute FINEST YALL)…the producers’ twist? Fucking Constantine Kane gets put in the girls’ villa - amy’s eyes widen out of their sockets when she sees her most random ex enter. He of course is still so in love with her, or so he claims, and tells her how excited he is to couple up with her and share a bed and win her over and get married and have babies with her. Amy naturally is like no way jose and spends the entire time trying to avoid him (with the help of rosa) hiding everywhere she can fit and sleeping on the sofa at night (and, also naturally, she worries that Sophia 2.0 is with jake right now and she realises it kind of makes her sick to her stomach thinking about jake kissing another girl….maybe she likes him even more than she thought she did?)

· Just to mess with him, jake gets a text that has a photo of constantine trying to kiss amy and poor bb gets beside himself with worry…

Jake’s talking head: “I mean Amy can do whatever she wants, I’m obviously not going to stop her from being with another person - we’ve only known each other for what a month…” [he looks away from the camera and rubs his face with his hand] “But I really like her…so it just kinda…sucks.”

· OBVIOUSLY he has nothing to worry about and his face!!!!!!!!! Just lights up in relief!!!!! When amy walks back into the og villa during the Most Dramatic recoupling without bringing back anyone from the new one!!! She rushes over to him and cups his face with her hands and kisses him hard in front of everyone

· “I missed you, you know” “I missed you too” “Hey I have to ask…that guy you were with-” “You saw that?” “I got sent a photo…nothing…nothing happened between you, right?” “Yes - I mean no. Things did happen. In the past, on the outside. But I was young and I regret it so much - i tried to avoid him the entire time in casa amor. Honestly all I could think about was how much i wanted to be hanging out with you” “really?”  she moves to sit on his lap, wraps her arms around his next and kisses his cheek.  “the only person i want to be in this villa with is you” “i could say the same thing about you, ames” and then they get straight back to kissing :’)))

Iain: “nope, that’s definitely not a tear in my eye”

· One morning the islanders wake up to the delightful sound of babies screaming bc you guessed it!! baby challenge!!! (i.e. towards the end of the summer, the couples are given plastic babies and have to look after them for a day)

Amy is SO excited and throws the covers off running towards the cribs (after Charles and Genevieve) screaming - “We made a baby! Oh my god I have a baby!” leaving a half-awake dazed and confused jake still in bed

Jake & Rosa eventually bother getting out of their respective beds, definitely not as excited as the rest of the villa, but jake will admit his heart flutters a little seeing amy cradling a plastic baby to her chest so attentively

“Jake! Look we have a little girl!” “awww she looks just like you, Ames” “we have to name her” “Nakatomi” jake answers immediately, to which amy whines “jaaaake take it seriously! I’m not having a daughter called Nakatomi” “fine, i’ll compromise on Holly”

At first jake is a little apprehensive about having this new Responsibility (and he’s not about to blurt out all his dad issues on national television) and so he keeps his distance and mainly lets amy take care of their new offspring in the morning (“amessss why does it keep crying?” “i cannot Believe you would call our baby it, peralta!”) That is until the girls get sent off on a Mommy’s Lunch, turning the villa into daddy day care….

He knows how much Amy loves this little baby so he decides he is going to take this seriously and it doesn’t take long for him to realise that??? This is kinda fun??? He takes Holly on strolls in her buggy around the villa and plays with her in the pool with charles and terry and (tugging at the public’s heart) sits on a day bed with her and tells her just how awesome her mummy is

When amy gets back, her heart completely MELTS at the sight of her new bf with their little one……and they end up talking about how they’re the best parents in the entire villa nay the world (“our kid is WAY cuter than terry and sharon’s” “oh for SURE”) & then of course win the challenge

· For the Final Date extravaganza they go on a helicopter ride and ngl even Amy is beside herself with excitement…they’ve spent the last 6 weeks talking about their favourite action films etc. and now it’s like they’re in one! They definitely act like literal children/real cops pretending they’re on a manhunt for a fugitive (instead of appreciating the view like normal people)

They get treated to a romantic dinner afterwards followed by dancing with live musicians and that’s when they FINALLY say those 3 words to each other….(well 5 if you count “noice, smort”)

· AND THE WINNER IS…..jake and amy obviously this is a b99 x love island au :’) they’re so sweet and humble about it & amy makes jake promise on live national television that he’s not just going to spend all their cash prize on sneakers. They each end up with over a million followers on their instagrams, where they regularly post photos of each other on date night/ at premieres/ evenings at home…and also video sagas of them pranking each other which starts with amy pieing jake’s face unexpectedly and escalates into fake proposals and frozen shoes….and maybe some *light* tasering

· Of course they end up getting married for realz and a baby announcement follows not too long after that…they are utterly the nation’s sweethearts (and Charles keeps doing interviews to the press saying he’s the one who brought them together in the villa from the beginning)