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hazelvrr · 2 months

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Chapter 1: The fair

S/n: As promised here's chapter 1, let me know if I should continue with this fic as I've never written a full fic before so I might be rubbish, also it's not proofread but any mistakes should only be minor. No use of y/n. I tried to capture their personalities to the best of my ability but they are so funny that they're also extremely difficult to write. I tried to not repeat any scenes from the movie, they still happen unless I mention them differently but I didn't want to sound like a broken record.

Summary: you get ready with pj and josie for the fair and they question your friendship with hazel and then you see her at the fair.

Warnings: none

Word count: 2.1k

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The fair was the one thing you looked forward to at the end of summer. Pretty much everything else about summer ending absolutely sucked but at least there was the fair.

Every year as soon as August rolled around, you were counting down the days until you could ride the ferris wheel, get cotton candy and most importantly, see hazel for the first time in 3 months.

Your 'best friend' hazel, if you could even call her that, volunteered at some charity or association of some sort all summer every single year without fail, so you couldn't see her for 3 months straight, which always drove you crazy.

You weren't quite sure why, after all, it was the same with pj and josie because they were away at some abstinence camp for the youth or as pj called it 'an anti sex cult run by a bunch of jealous old nuns who dont get any and are trying to ruin her life because shes hot as fuck' (her words, not yours) so you didn't see them either but you couldn't care less, so why were you so bothered about not seeing hazel?

Either way, you were super exited about this year's fair and had decided to get a ride from josie (only because you were embarrassed to tell anyone cool that you had failed your drivers test 5 times over the summer and had acctually managed to get yourself banned from the local dmv from 'assaulting your driving instructor' which you only did because he totally had it in for you) so naturally you thought it was a good idea to get ready at her house with her and pj.

BIG MISTAKE.

You should have known that pj and Josie, being the horny pervs that they are, spent the whole evening scheming about getting the cheerleaders attention, and how they were planning on getting possibly the straightest teenage girls you had ever seen in your whole life to fall head over heels for them.

Absolute losers.

You were so used to their antics that your brain had completely tuned them out as you applied your eyeliner, sitting beside pj, faces pushing eachother out of the way to fight to look in the tiniest mirror on josies desk.

You had stopped listening after josie had started ranting about the size of Jeff's penis, you were planning on stuffing your face with corndogs in less than an hour, and that was really putting you off the idea, that was until you heard josie say your name.

"Soo, have you spoken to hazel since school ended?"

Pj looks over at you with a shit eating grin on her face, "what she means to say is, have the two of you fucked yet?"

You roll your eyes at pj, not even dignifying her with an answer and turn your head to face josie, who was now stacking snapbacks on her head whilst looking in the mirror.

"To answer your question, yeah we've facetimed a few times and texted a lot."

"Oooo phone sex," pj giggles, "kinky."

You just flick pj in the head and begin applying your lipgloss.

Josie picks up one of the snapbacks from the floor and launches it at pjs head and instead misses and knocks over the mirror.

"Dude what the fuck." Pj hisses, standing up to go over to josies closet door to look at her outfit in the full length mirror, posing and checking herself out.

"Seriously though, when are you going to make a move?" Josie asks, backing away from pj and going to sit on the bed.

You look at her with a confused expression, "what do you mean, we're just friends."

Josie cocks her eyebrow and smirks, "please, you've been in love with her since 5th grade, you know it, I know it, pj knows it, pretty much everyone in a 10 mile radius can see it, except for hazel herself since she's an oblivious dork, but that's besides the point."

You go to answer but pj comes back over and sits back down next to you and you take the opportunity to escape and use the bathroom.

You take your time in there staring into the glass, turning your body around, checking that your hair is straight, your makeup looks good in natural lighting, oh and that your cleavage is poking through your tank top just enough, for no particular reason other than looking hot for yourself (well, that's what you told yourself anyways).

As you open the bathroom door to return to josies bedroom you hear pj and josie whispering, and being as nosy as you are, you press your ear up against the door to listen to what they're saying.

"Shhh she's gonna hear you" josie hushes.

"Shut up no she's not, that bitch couldn't hear a rocket land if it landed on the roof."

"How much did you say you wanna bet again?"

"50 bucks. If by the end of the school year they haven't fucked, I owe you 50 bucks, but if they have, you owe me 100."

"How the fuck does that work, why do I owe you double?"

"Because I'm fucking awesome... okay because I'm broke as hell and am gonna need the contribution for my homecoming dress so I can look sexy for brittany, duh."

"Yeah yeah whatever, its a deal, I think she's coming."

You once again roll your eyes at how pathetic they are. You swear to god that if you spent any more time with them than you already do, your eyes would permanently be fixed in the back of your head.

"Hey guys, you ready to go it's almost 8," you suggest as you open the door, "josie, what the hell do you think you're wearing?!"

"What do you mean?" She looks down confused at her spiritual playboy shirt, 5 carabiners hooked onto her pants' belt loops and her arm sling on her right arm.

"You look like dyke throw-up," pj cackles, standing up from the desk and following you both out of the bedroom door.

Josie looks back at pj as you're all walking down the stairs, "pj you can't say anything, look at you, you've got suspenders over your nipples like a goddamn freak."

Pj flips her off from behind her head and you can't help but giggle as you follow them out to the car and hop in the backseat.

"How'd you break your arm again josie?" You lean forward and ask as josie turns the keys and reverses out of her driveway.

"She flunked out of anti horny camp and fell out of her bunk rubbing one out," pj replies casually, looking down at her phone that displays brittanys Instagram posts from the summer, "fuck, she got even hotter over summer, how's that even possible?"

"Is isabel in any of the photos?" Josie questioned desperately, sneaking a peak down at pjs phone as she pulls up to a red light.

"God you're both pathetic."

You finally arrive to the fair, granted you're 20 minutes late because josie circled the parking lot at least 10 times as pj yelled at her to just fucking park, but josie wanted to make sure she could find a big enough spot.

You hand over your tickets and walk in, they're both muttering about something or other but you're not really listening, you're just scanning for hazel until you feel a tap on your shoulder and nearly jump out of your skin.

"Hey guys," hazel smiles, bringing you in for a hug, "long time no see, wait.. pj, josie, you never come to the fair?"

You point over at isabel and brittany standing a few feet away, where they had been gawking at them for the past 5 minutes.

"Ah, I see," She nods, I haven't seen you In ages I've missed you."

"Yeah.. me too," you blush, looking down at your shoes.

"Oh shit what happened to josies arm?"

"Masterbating."

"What, is her vagina made out of concrete or something?"

"No what? Hazel, she fell out of her bunk," pj scoffs.

"Can everyone please stop talking about my vagina?" Josie interjects.

"Soo hazel, what's this I hear about you volunteering at a slop farm?" Pj questions.

"The national meat association? Yeah it was good," hazel replies, "so did you guys get up to anything crazy over summer?"

"Yeah we killed this girl at camp for snitching on josie, got arrested, taken to Juvie and spent the rest of summer there, nearly died but they let us go when we told them that we're dykes and called them homophobic," pj explains sarcastically.

"What?! Are you guys okay?"

Josie facepalms.

You were about to explain that pj was being sarcastic when you hear cheering and you all look over to see Jeff appearing with the rest of the football team.

You all exchange disgusted looks and then pj notices that isabel and brittany are walking in your direction.

She snatches your corndog out of your hand and hands it to josie and then takes hazels cotton candy and hands her a wad full of tickets. Her and josie anxiously keep swapping the corndog and cotton candy mumbling to eachother until isabel and brittany are standing right infront of you all.

Josie drops her corndog, well actually YOUR corndog and kicks it away in hopes of isabel not noticing but both isabel and brittany look down and watch her do it, then look back up at her and raise their eyebrows.

"Hey can I uh, get my cotton candy back?" Hazel asks as she reaches forwards towards pj to grab it, but instead is hit in the head with it by pj who just ignores her and takes a bite out of it.

You look at hazel and shrug your shoulders, jerking your head to turn her attention back to the disaster of a conversation going on between the four of them.

"Oh hey, didn't see you there," brittany says to you poking her head round to look at you, "how's your summer been?"

"Yeah it's been good," you reply, "looking forward to cheering again though I've really missed it, what about you guys?"

"Yeah, I've been practicing all summer I'm really looking forward to getting back into it!" Isabel smiles, stepping forward.

The conversation goes on for a painful amount of time, every second making you want to gouge your eyeball out with a fork as you just make ridiculous faces at hazel, who just looks back at you the same way before giggling.

You went to follow pj and josie out to josies car when hazel quickly follows, "I can drive you home if you want, your on the way and I doubt you want to listen to another second of them babbling on about isabel and brittany."

"Yeah that would actually be great, thank you."

"No trouble at all," She says, "plus, it's an excuse to speak to you, we haven't had much of a chance to talk tonight."

She pulls out her car keys and unlocks her car, of course its a range rover. Her mom gave it to her as a pity gift when her dad left which obviously didn't fix the issue but hazel didn't complain and just accepted the car, even though she wasn't old enough to drive at the time, which her mom forgot because she barely pays any attention to her own daughter.

The drive is only 5 minutes long, since you live so close, so you don't get long to chat, but she tells you all about the meat association and the cool tshirt she got to wear, even showing you a photo when she pulls up on your driveway.

You lean over and give her a hug, "see you at school tomorrow?"

"Wouldn't miss it," She grins, "meet me outside to walk in together?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

Once you had kicked off your shoes and lazily removed your makeup, you got changed and plopped onto your bed.

Tonight was so chaotic yet for some reason you weren't thinking about pj and josies funny attempt at flirting or how they had made complete asses out of themselves, only about the drive home with hazel, how her hair blew in the wind, framing her face perfectly, how her hand gripped the steering wheel as she reversed out of the parking lot and how her eyes practically lit up when she was talking to you about her voluntary work over the summer.

You try to sleep but instead you lay awake for hours staring at your ceiling thinking about it. You simply cannot get her out of your head.

Huh. Maybe, just maybe, you did like hazel callahan? No. Surely not. Unless...

#hazel bottoms #hazel callahan #hazel callahan brainrot #bottoms 2023 #hazel callahan smut #hazel callahan x reader #bottoms movie #bottoms fanfic

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urfavnegronerd · 10 months

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a little rant while im on break at my job

okay i know we're supposed to like ghostflower ships but i... i have some thoughts.

i see the love and lust between those two in into the spiderverse, miles is so giggly around gwen and gwen is slightly less unhinged (you ALL know what im getting at, love her but our good sis gwen is.... *hand motion*) etc. allat good stuff.

but i can't see that happening especially w the events of atsv, like there's definitely room for patching up the relationship but anything romantic between the two would feel forced as fuck i feel like. and maybe that's just me being an intensely passionate empath who likes to act like a nonchalant lil asshole, but still. i LOVE gwen, sony set her up beautifully for an amazing character arc that i'm so excited to see in the next one. HOWEVER, also this could just be me being an annoying little afro latina shit, she's not coming back from opening the collectible, going through miles' sketchbook w/o permission, and the shoes on the bed. that doesn't mean i HATE her i just can't look at her the same.

now a bitch is biased because black love is forever 🔛🔝, but also in the comics and video game miles has a black love interest. there was definitely also THE connection w/ miles and margo (however i'm also kinda in favor of prowlerbyte anyway--), and lil old me in the theatre was loosing it. i think that staying true to the aspect of black love interests is also going to be so important for the community, both comic/video game fans and black fans alike, mainly because of how black men interact with black women. speaking from experience i can't even count how many times i wanted to be the short lil white girl with blue eyes and blonde hair instead of the tall and awkward black girl with the wide nose and corkscrew curls. now here's where i think my personal bias kind of skews my opinion on this, but this franchise has been so important to SO many people. again speaking from experience, when i saw miles in atsv with the EXACT same hair texture as me i almost cried because no one in the history of ever has animated my kind of hair right and miles' hair was right. on top of this i saw so many little black boys practically tripping and falling in anticipation to see this movie in theatres. so i think i favor miles having a relationship with a black girl because this will reach such a new audience and possibly open doors for black men and boys to start treating black somebody and girls with respect. because if these little boys in the theatre see their like, idol for lack of a better word, treating black women and girls with respect i think then there's gonna be an aspect of healing within that.

i'm not really sure how well i'm communicating this, but i don't really think i can fully get behind the ghostflower ship. to me it feels really fucking forced in a way that kinda icks me out, however this is not to say i won't absolutely love the shit out of these two if it happens. in a way, this franchise feels like something the black community needs in several ways. like yeah this shit is pro black but FULLY pro black, not pro-black but anti gay, trans, or whatever the fuck. it shows blackness in a new way, artsy and nerdy but also really fucking cool at the same time and i never fucking got that as a little kid. like i kid you not the other black kids in school would call me a wanna be white girl. and to see someone with similar interests as me just sort of opens the world up??? like i visited my older sister at school in the dmv while wearing a spiderverse hoodie, and people actually wanted to talk to me about it!!! like not ina "oh i like ur sweatshirt ma" type thing like a "omg you like this movie too??" type thing and i just--

yeah i def strayed from the topic, but i hope our baby does get his lil black girl (or his lil gwen, from a big sisters perspective i don't hate her as a prospective partner i just think that there would need to be a clear breakdown in the difference of cultures. for example i was taught that anytime you meet anyone formally (like a parent or something) you shake their hand and or go in for a hug and kiss BOTH cheeks and talk about their home their clothes or whatever) but for like the sake of authenticity (sorry to be that asshole but come ON) but like.... flowerbyte 🥰🥰

did this make sense i feel like i word vomited like a bitch, idk maybe i'm projecting my personal shit into a franchise i really like

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eyes-eyes-eyes-eyes-eyes-eyes · 1 year

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PLATE : MT IS MT

CUSTOMER: i love all mountains equally!

DMV: "MEAT IS MEAT" = ELDRITCH FEAR GOD REFERENCE, ANTI-VEGETARIAN, POSSIBLE CANNIBALISM ???

VERDICT: DENIED

#eyes speaks #tma #the magnus archives #mag pod #ca dmv bot #california dmv #magnus pod #tma meme #tma memes #tma shitpost

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bearballing · 4 months

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Florida Bill Would Require Mass Biological Sex Affidavits, Ending All Trans Legal Recognition

The bill, if passed, would end all trans legal recognition and would require all Floridians to sign "biological sex affidavits" when renewing their licenses.

In one of the most extreme bills of the last decade targeting transgender individuals, a new bill introduced on Thursday afternoon in Florida seeks to end all legal recognition of transgender people and mandates mass biological sex affidavits for both transgender and cisgender Floridians. These affidavits would be necessary at the DMV for license renewals, enabling the state to gather records of the biological sex of all individuals in Florida who apply for driver's licenses. The affidavits could allow the state to compile lists of transgender people with Florida driver's licenses. They could then be used to enforce other anti-trans laws in the state. Additionally, the bill would impact every law in Florida that references sex, effectively removing all legal recognition of transgender people in the state.

The description of the bill on the Florida Senate website:

HB 1233: Biological Sex GENERAL BILL by Black Biological Sex; Defines terms relating to sex of individual in context of construction of Florida Statutes; provides that certain birth certificate statement determines whether person is male or female & may serve as committeeman or committeewoman, respectively; revises provisions related to applications for disability ID cards, application requirements for driver licenses & ID cards to replace references to term "gender" with term "sex"; prohibits DHSMV from issuing original or replacement driver licenses or ID cards that contain specified information; requires individual health insurance policies, group health insurance policies, health benefit plans, & health maintenance contracts that provide coverage for sex-reassignment prescriptions or procedures must also provide coverage for treatment to detransition from such sex-reassignment prescriptions or procedures; defines term "sex" for purposes of Florida Civil Rights Act; revises provisions related to remedies for unlawful discrimination to include protection on basis of sex, rather than gender.

[Thursday 4th January 2024]

florida government is evil, water is wet. if passed, this would come into effect on 1st july 2024.

#florida #trans #transgender #hb 1233

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prettyvintageafternoon · 9 days

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Daily reminder that the anti-abortion position will never be a feminist, left-wing or progressive position, and the pathological need of pro-lifers to tokenize minorities and certain experiences that we have needs to be studied.

First off, I find it very funny that an organization known for having its white members engage in physical violence, trespassing and digging in the trash for fetal remains is now trying to lecture black women about intersectionality with regard to pregnancy and childbirth.

Reproductive justice is both a term and an ideology that black women specifically came up with in order to acknowledge how race and economic class play a role in reproductive access and decisions. The fact that an organization run and represented by white people pretending to be progressive is trying to check the women who came up with an actual progressive framework of beliefs to better represent their own interests is hilarious to me.

Second, PAAU is not a progressive organization. Its founder, Terrisa Bukovinac, is on the board of the Leadership Institute, a politically conservative training organization, and has gone to events hosted by the Heritage Foundation - a right-wing conservative think tank helping to drive anti-abortion legislation around the country by supporting conservative Republican politicians in various ways.

You even have members of this organization like @secularprolifeconspectus on Tumblr who will do interviews with people like Sebastian Gorka, who has had ties to the Order of Vitéz - a Hungarian order of merit which allied itself with Nazis during WWII.

(BTW, the IRONY of spending time talking about how Planned Parenthood is rooted in eugenics while talking about how conservatives are so much nicer than leftists to someone who has ties to a Nazi-sympathizing organization. Ma'am... 😬)

Then again, @secularprolifeconspectus also likes to spread lies like Abortion Pill Reversal™️, which isn't real, and repeats quotes from Abby Johnson, the famous anti-abortion activist who had two abortions and said that the police would be smart to racially profile her black sons in the wake of the Black Lives Matter Protests of 2020 following George Floyd's murder. 🙃

@secularprolifeconspectus has me blocked, but I'll just say this.

The irony of pretending to care about the interests of black people while rubbing shoulders with far-right political figures and reposting words from racist white women but also being confused as to why leftists don't like you is very telling.

Third, the information posted is wrong. It's very convenient that PAAU is "worried" about maternal morality in the DMV area when the U.S. states with the highest maternal mortality rates are Mississippi, Louisiana, Georgia, Alabama and North Carolina (CDC, 2023) - states with higher concentrations of black people that are also dominated by white, conservative political leadership which puts anti-abortion legislation in place. The DMV area is actually lower in comparison to these places, yet PAAU conveniently ignores that im order to paint a false narrative.

Source: Which states have the highest maternal mortality rates?, USA FACTS

Fourth, I also find it very funny that "progressive" pro-lifers have the audacity to accuse organizations run by minorities of hijacking progressive principles when that's all pro-lifers do by...

Using terms like "Abortion Industrial Complex" after anti-war advocates have been discussing the Military Industrial Complex for years

Acknowledging how finances and money plays a role in people choosing to get abortions but only every criticizing pro-choicers for supporting abortion access (*and conveniently never holding the very conservative anti-abortion movement accountable for the policy-making role they play in making people not want to have children in the first place)

Saying that abortion access is a part of Big Pharma, when forcing women to have children they don't want literally creates another patient pool for Big Pharma to subsist off of

Arguing that affordable healthcare, housing and clean water and nutrition - things that pro-choice activists have spent years advocated for (*and that conservative pro-lifers have spent years voting against), somehow cannot co-exist with abortion access

So yeah, removing abortion access from people who want it will never be progressive, and the fact that pro-lifers still try to tokenize minorities (and chastise us when we don't support their worldview) shows how little they actually care about those of us people of color.

#pro choice #abortion #can the anti-abortion movement leave black women alone? for once?

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commiepinkofag · 4 months

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Papers Please…

If enacted, this legislation would place Florida among the most oppressive regimes against transgender individuals worldwide.

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. – In one of the most extreme bills of the last decade targeting transgender individuals, a new bill introduced on Thursday afternoon in Florida seeks to end all legal recognition of transgender people and mandates mass biological sex affidavits for both transgender and cisgender Floridians.

These affidavits would be necessary at the DMV for license renewals, enabling the state to gather records of the biological sex of all individuals in Florida who apply for driver’s licenses. The affidavits could allow the state to compile lists of transgender people with Florida driver’s licenses.

They could then be used to enforce other anti-trans laws in the state. Additionally, the bill would impact every law in Florida that references sex, effectively removing all legal recognition of transgender people in the state.

HB1233

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nitewrighter · 2 years

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I’m anti car culture (has been in the DMV for 10 minutes).

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shyadri · 3 months

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As the voting period comes closer and closer, and anti-voting posts are becoming more common, I wanted to share my experiences as a Puerto Rican woman during these times and my experience voting in the last elections. In 2020, I was in college and renting my first apartment and I was so excited for multiple things. My own room in college, my own kitchen, my own bathroom. The most exciting thing was the address and bills. Because with them I could use them as evidence of residency to finally apply for a driver’s license for the state.

A driver’s license so I could vote.

In the DMV, receiving the license in my hands, I was so excited, ecstatic, thrilled. Finally, I’m gonna vota, As soon as I went back to my apartment, I went straight to the computer to the voting registration website for my state. I feel like I could almost cry.

Due to COVID, I applied for early voting so I could avoid the mass of people. I got there, showed my license, got to the booth, and I voted. I could help prevent Trump from being re-elected. I could make a difference. Months later when Biden won, I felt so relieved, cause I helped with that, I made a change. Sure, I did NOT like Biden at all, but I could at least stop Trump.

I was heard.

After graduating, I moved back home, back to PR. It was hard saying goodbye to my friends and to my little town I grew to love. But what was harder than anything else you guys probably don’t get.

I said goodbye to my voting rights.

Because Puerto Rican residents can’t vote for US primaries or presidency.

We have our own government; our own parties and it is VERY important to vote there as well. But your favorite party could win, your favorite candidates in place making the plans you want.

But the US president can deny any major plans to Puerto Rico if they want to.

And we can’t vote for that.

We are US citizens, we use the same passports and currency as everyone else. But because we are an unincorporated territory, which is just modern slang for colony, we can’t vote for the President. Who can change our entire lives, and we can’t vote. Not just PR, but Guam, Virgin Islands and Northern Mariana Islands residences CAN’T VOTE EITHER despite being US citizens. American Samoans has it worse, where they don’t even get US citizenship at birth.

Voting is a right, is our right as citizens. Voting shouldn’t be a privilege, but it is for many. I needed to get accepted to college, have the money for the plane, tuition, and food, to go to college, have the money to rent for evidence of residency, because college dorms don’t count, have the money to pay for the process of getting the license and the transportation to go to the DMVs. It shouldn’t be like this, but it is.

So don’t you asshats go and throw your fucking vote away. Don’t you DARE say it’s not worth it. Because Biden and Trump ARE NOT THE SAME. Biden is shit, but Trump is the devil. I wish Hillary Clinton was president, because when Hurricane Maria came and destroyed PR, what did Trump do? He threw paper towels to the audience like FUCKING BASKETBALL BALLS. This man wouldn’t know the difference between a Cuban, a Puerto Rican, and a Mexican, and would try to kick all of us out of the country because he is PROUD OF HIS RACISM. Clinton and Biden would have decency during the Hurricane Maria situation. Because if Trump wins, you fucks don’t get the right to complain if you didn’t vote in the first. Be the change you want to see. Use the damn right your fucking ancestors fought and died for to give to you guys. Because there are still people who don’t have the right, and probably won’t get it in their lifetime.

Don’t waste your right.

#politics #voting #2024 election #Puerto Rico #joe biden #donald trump

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