#and who wanted nothing more than a quiet life
Text
tied to you (bnd legal line) ˚ · .
bnd as submissives , bnd x fem!reader , nsfw (mdni!!!), headcanons/ramble
warnings: dom/sub dynamics, restraints, collars, some degradation, slight masochism (nothing too crazy), hand stuff, oral (giving and receiving)
a/n: i think this is my first official nsfw post omg <3 this was supposed to just be a small ask answer but i think i indulged a litttllleee too much >3< also, a lot of this was influenced by their charts (once again) so yeah! thank u for ur request anon :0
sungho ˚ ⋆｡˚
as someone who likes to control almost every aspect of his life, it'd take a little coaxing to get sungho to submit to you. he'll only submit when he feels fully safe and thinks he can be completely vulnerable around you and sungho is most likely to submit when he's really stressed out or tense. he can get really self-conscious about relinquishing control, so he might come to you casually and try to subtly hint that he wants you to dom him. it might be when you're laying in bed scrolling as he gets home, and he just drops everything at the door and curls up to you. he melts when you stroke his hair, and you'll notice him getting riled up, nuzzling into your neck like a kitten. <3
when sungho submits, the only thing on his mind is pleasing you. i think he's more of a service top and his only goal would be to cater to your needs. he'll eat you out for as long as you'd like, trying his best not to cum in his pants because you told him not to! he likes it when you ride him, using his body as a toy for yourself, and all he can do is let you take whatever you want from him <3
sungho would like to submit to you nonsexually as well. he feels most at ease when he feels as if you are at ease, so he will be at your every beck and call. if you are hungry, he's going straight to the kitchen to make you something. he'll wash all of the dishes, do all of the laundry, and rub your back and feet if you've had a long day. he'll like it when he's able to take control outside of the house, but as soon as you guys get home, everything goes by your word.
sungho is incredibly sensitive! he loves when you worship his body, placing little kisses on his stomach, complimenting all of his hard work in the gym. he could cum untouched by you simply running your fingers over his pecs and thighs. he's a huge lover of foreplay too. when you're kissing up and down his neck, touching him everywhere except the place he needs you most <3 he'll try his best to keep his hands to himself if you tell him to, but sometimes he just can't resist. when he doesn't listen, he likes it when you push him into the bed, holding his hands above his head. he knows that he's stronger than you and can take back control if he wants to, but something about that turns him on even more.
his favorite names to be called in bed are kitty, doll, and pretty. if you whisper, "look at you, doll. you're so pretty like this. just a bit longer and i'll let you cum, okay?", he'll be sinking deep into subspace, just wanting to please you and make you happy.
he can get pretty shy when it comes to making noise in bed, so i see him biting his lip and covering his mouth a lot to stay quiet, turning his head to hide his face and stuff <3 he starts to get loud when he's close to cumming, muttering out "please please please" as he grips the sheets, his body racking with shivers.
for aftercare, he'd like bathing together with you as the big spoon, helping him wash up. he might even fall asleep as you massage shampoo into his hair, leaning in to press tiny kisses to his cheek and the back of his neck. he needs lots of reassurance as well. tell him that he did so good for you, that he made you feel good, and that you love him. he needs to hear it or else he might get really insecure and start to overthink. when it's time for bed, let him be the big spoon so he can burrow himself in the back of your neck and hold you close to him <3
˚ ⋆｡˚ riwoo
i see riwoo as a natural submissive. he loves you so deeply and he's willing to do anything you ask of him. riwoo definitely slips into subspace the fastest and deepest. you guys could be watching a movie when you start to rub him through his pants nonchalantly. he'll look at you with wide eyes and you'll just say, "keep watching the movie." he'll try so hard not to buck up into your hand or make any noises, but he ultimately fails because you always make him feel so good. he can't help it </3
he would get so embarrassed when you tease him in public, muttering "we shouldn't do this here" when you pull him into a bathroom to quickly suck him off because he looks so good in that outfit. in less than a few seconds of being inside of your mouth though, he's a whining mess, head tipping back against the wall, biting his fingers to keep quiet <3
riwoo likes when things are really intimate and really personal. he'd enjoy it when you hold him from behind, speaking directly into his ear as you stroke his cock. his head will be buried in your neck, soft whimpers leaving his mouth <3 he won't know what to do with his hands, so they'll be on your thigh, fisting the sheets, resting on his stomach, holding your arm... anywhere they can reach! he gets really squirmy too, so you'll have to hold him still sometimes.
he has a hard time asking for what he wants, but you know him well enough to read when he needs to be taken care of. you notice when he starts to get a little more clingy, following you around the house, kissing your neck and shoulders when your back is turned to him. if you're sitting on his lap, he'll start to subtly grind up into you, wrapping his arms around your middle, asking quietly for you to help him.
riwoo would love to be called angel and baby boy. sue me, but he definitely has a slight (not-so-slight) mommy kink, even if his partner isn't older than him. he likes nurturing partners who can take care of him, so when you say "shh, i've got you, angel. my pretty baby boy, doing so well for me", he's a goner. as i said, he slips really deep into subspace and he may just stop talking, communicating only with single words and noises. you'll need to find other ways to go about safe words like him tapping you a certain amount of times because he'll be too floaty to respond verbally.
the quickest way to turn him on would be soft kisses to his neck and ears! he gets that fluttery feeling and becomes needy quick. he's into overstimulation where you try to coax him past his limits, telling him that he can cum again, even if he tries to deny it (and he does always end up cumming again). he also has an oral fixation, so he likes when you stuff your fingers in his mouth when he's fucking you, or sucking on your boobs when cuddling. he might mouth at your skin a lot and get drool everywhere too <3
when it comes to aftercare, the first thing he needs is cuddles. he feels most safe when wrapped up in your arms, surrounded by you. he'll doze off as you whisper praise and reassurance. with a little insistence, he'll finally get up to shower with you, his body still glued tightly to your skin. (he might even get hard again just from the gentle way you wash him off <3). as soon as his head hits the pillow, he's sleeping soundly, knowing that you're always there to take care of him. <3
jaehyun ˚ ⋆｡˚
jaehyun #1 puppy sub. he's extremely devoted to you, straightforward, and never afraid to ask for what he wants. even though he can unintentionally get pretty whiny and bratty, it's easy to put him in his place! he hates it when his dom is upset at him, and he hates punishments even more, so he listens to whatever you say really well <3
in a way, he's kind of always on go-mode. he loves it when you suddenly push him up against a wall to kiss him, your hand traveling down to palm at his cock <3 if you decide that you want to fuck against the kitchen counter, he's ready, putting down his cup of coffee in an instant to please you. he loves quickies before he has to go to work in the morning, spooning you from behind as he kisses and laps at your neck, moaning against your skin. his sex drive is pretty high, so he needs a dom that can match that.
jaehyun is really attracted to people with an authoritative aura. someone who can order him around without a second thought and who he can fully submit to. he's always willing to please and simply needs to feel safe and taken care of in return. he likes to sit at your feet while you play with his hair mindlessly, nuzzle into your belly, and cuddle you face to face so he can kiss you whenever he wants. he might even wear a collar with "property of ____" on it around the house <3 loves when you tug him by his leash to eat you out or pull him in for a kiss!
jaehyun likes slight degradation too! he gets so turned on when you call him a dumb puppy, telling him that he doesn't know how to use his cock right, and he'll be jumping up to prove you wrong because he just wants to be good for his owner. he can get pretty defiant when you're a little too mean to him, though. if you won't let him cum while he's eating you out, he'll rut against the bed and end up cumming in his pants like the needy puppy he is. or if you won't kiss him in public, telling him he needs to wait until you guys get home, he gets so pouty!
he can get pretty loud in bed. sometimes he doesn't even realize how loud he's being because he just feels too good! he'll be rutting into you, whining about how good your pussy feels, asking if he's doing good, begging for more and more. he might even start crying when he gets so overwhelmed, dropping his head onto your shoulder, his thrusts messy and uncoordinated <3 poor puppy can't control himself!
he also has a habit of biting when he feels too good!!! he'll bite your shoulder and accidentally leave teeth marks, nip at the inside of your thighs, and bite your lower lip when making out. the best way to prevent a biting jaehyun is to stuff something in his mouth like a pillow or your panties to keep him at bay <3 he'll whine and complain, but he'll quickly stop when you give him that look that always makes him behave.
aftercare with jaehyun is full of kissing, snuggling, and giggles. he'll want to just lay in your arms, slowly making out as his hands travel all over your body with loving touches. he's not trying to get you riled up again! he's just very touchy and needs that skin-to-skin contact afterward. he'd want to bathe together so he can play with the bubbles and hold you against him before heading straight to bed with your head resting on his chest <3
˚ ⋆｡˚ taesan
taesan submitting will take some time. he won't easily share his deeper, more vulnerable desires unless he fully trusts someone. but when he does, all focus is on him <3 all he wants is to be the center of attention, and he likes for things to go his way, whether he's domming or subbing!
when taesan submits, he's usually in need of some confidence and care. he wants to be all yours, and he wants to be the best. he will eat you out until his jaw hurts and his face is covered in your slick, panting for air with a smile on his face as you tell him he's doing amazing. he likes when you tangle your hands in his hair to push him further into your cunt, basically riding his face and using his tongue for your own pleasure. nothing gets him off more than the thought of you using him out of everyone else in the world <3
the fastest way to turn him on is to kiss and suck at his neck while your fingers play with the hair at his nape. anything to do with his neck, and he's on his knees for you, literally. he's also really sensitive around his chest! you can probably make him cum by just playing with his nipples and pecs, squeezing and pinching them as he ruts up into the air, whining and moaning for more. <3 he likes it when you tie him up too, whether it be with rope or silk. anything that leaves a temporary mark afterward!
taesan can get upset when you're not paying him a lot of attention. if you're busy doing work on your computer, he will drop down to his knees and rest his head on your thigh, pawing at your leg for attention with the biggest pout on his face. he could be fucking into you and you'll close your eyes for a few seconds before he starts whining, leaning down to kiss you before muttering, "please, please, watch me. am i making you feel good? yeah?"
he's definitely into praise more than degradation, but he wouldn't mind being called a slut and a whore; as long as he's your slut and your whore <3 you'll have him pushed up against the wall of the shower, pumping his cock as he whines into your ear for you to go faster. "faster? you're such a greedy slut, aren't you?" and he'll nod feverishly, his wet hair falling into his eyes as he bites his lip, fucking up into your fist.
taesan loves provoking you and talks back a lot. you could be at a restaurant with friends and you'll feel his hand trail under your skirt, his fingers rubbing against your panties as you try to have a conversation with someone across from you. you'll tightly grab his wrist to stop him, and as soon as the conversation ends, you'll whisper, "what the fuck do you think you're doing?". he'll just give you a teasing smile, cock his head to the side, and say "hm? i'm not doing anything, baby." he'll be all giddy on the inside when he sees how angry you get, knowing that he'll be punished as soon as you guys get home.
for aftercare, taesan wants to be doted on. he wants you to brush the hair out of his eyes and pepper his face with kisses! he's the softest when he's like this, so you indulge as much as you can. he'll probably get really sleep really fast, so he'll fuss when you say you have to shower. he presses lazy kisses to your shoulder with his arms around your middle as you wash him up, mumbling about how you "sucked the life out of him" and you can't help but laugh at his dramatics. in bed, he'll relax once you're fully situated in his arms, massaging his scalp until he falls asleep. <3
leehan ˚ ⋆｡˚
leehan usually likes to be in control in my opinion, but when he is really in love with someone, he can be the biggest giver sub ever. and by "giver" in this context, he is literally giving himself to you. his main goal is to keep you happy and he'll have a one-track mind of his dom and only his dom. he'll let you pick out his outfits, what hairstyle he'll wear for the day, and where you guys are going for a date; everything will be up to you.
he's the type to say yes to everything. if you tell him you want to ride his face, he's already taking his shirt off and laying down, making grabby hands toward you. if you suddenly push him into a chair to suck his cock, he's folding his hands behind his back and letting you do whatever you want to him. what you say goes, always, and he rarely ever talks back.
leehan likes things to be a little more on the rough side, he would probably try to seduce you/rile you up to get you to snap on him. if you're scrolling on your phone in bed and he gets needy, he'll move down to trail open-mouth kisses up your exposed leg until you roughly grab his hair and tug him up to meet your eyes. he'll have the biggest (cutest) smile on his face as you push him onto his back before straddling him, wrapping your hand around his throat as you lean down to kiss him and give him what he truly wants <3
i see him as the type to want to take a lot of pictures of your intimate moments (for his and your eyes only). he'll like pictures of your hand around his neck, him on his knees at your feet, your hand gripping his jaw as you kiss him, and stuff like that <3 he'll have a private folder of them all to look through when he misses you. and please mark him up! he likes when you give him marks in places only he sees, like his hips, his thighs, or his chest. he thinks they're so pretty and he gets sad when they start to fade, so he'll shyly ask you for new ones!
leehan loves orgasm denial. you'll have him on his back with his hands above his head, tied to the headboard as you jerk him off. when you notice that his breathing is starting to pick up, you quickly pull your hand away, watching as he ruts into the air, his cock red and dripping precum. he'll whine quietly, giving you puppy dog eyes as your fingers trail down his thigh. "can i cum, please? i—i can't..." he'll trail off, throwing his head back when you grab ahold of his dick again. "you can take a little more, can't you?" and he'll nod pathetically, unshed tears brimming in his eyes.
aftercare with leehan would be pretty relaxing. a quiet bath together with the lights dimmed low and soft music playing as you clean him up, your back to his chest. he'll want to help wash you off too, his movements extremely gentle and intentional. when he pouts his lips for a kiss, you can't help but to give in, immediately taking the lead as you drag your tongue over his bottom lip. he softly moans into your mouth, holding you closer to him, just needing to know that you're real and there. in bed is when he quietly asks if he did okay, and you're quick to reassure him that he was lovely <3 he always is.
reblogs are greatly appreciated! thank u...<3
masterlist
#000 pawz ⋆˚🐾˖°#sub bnd you are everything to me#boynextdoor imagines#boynextdoor x reader#sungho x reader#riwoo x reader#myung jaehyun x reader#taesan x reader#leehan x reader#boynextdoor smut#boynextdoor hard hours#boynextdoor hard thoughts#i am crazy but i am free#<3
169 notes
·
View notes
Text
Favored Forms of Affection ( Caesar x Reader, Noa x Reader ) Headcanons.
my brain: hey what do you think their favorite form of affection is? huh? Huh? HUH?
Warning: There are sensual implications, but as a whole, it is very, very subtle and doesn't delve into detail. If you're uncomfortable with that, then please do not read.
Caesar.
In most aspects, Caesar is the type to enjoy quality time over any other forms of affection. There’s something deliciously grating to the Ape King when he’s got you all to himself, when you’re only his to lay eyes on, only one to get his undivided attention and he prickles with a mild form of anticipation, knowing, waiting for you to acknowledge that you had his undivided attention in return. Always so attentive and caring, the way you would listen to him, or sit in silence if that’s what he chose to do, or if that’s what you sensed he preferred. It does vary day to day - Sometimes Caesar finds it in himself to enjoy the nuance of conversation, sometimes not. And you’re alway so accepting either way.
Very difficult to get quality time being who he is - He takes it in stride and finds himself able to find speckled moments that were really a day to day basis.
~*If Caesar knows there is not a council meeting that day, he’ll allow himself the pleasure of taking meals with you and finds himself entranced as you talk to him about how your day was going, about the most mundane things that he honestly couldn’t care less about, but because they were your words, your voice, Caesar found interest in them.
~*If he has no hunting trip planned that requires him to leave before dawn, he’ll linger in the nest with you, either resting to hold you as you sleep next to him, or perhaps engaged in a bit of ‘pillow talk’ as you had called it previously. Maybe a bit more, if that’s what he knew you wanted, and it was always an avenue deeply indulged by both of you.
~*If he knows there is nothing pressing with the day ahead of him, he’ll often be the one to take you outside of the Colony to do something alone. Fish, which he had to teach you, berry forging which happened to be your favorite, or even just horseback riding along the coast, both admiring in solemn silence the wreckage of ships in the water and the lost days of Humanity’s reign. All things he knew you would enjoy, and he himself found enjoyment just by being able to do them with you. Pure, unadulterated enjoyment at the fact that you wanted him to be the one to take you, both mentally and physically.
Very late nights sitting by the fire, nothing but the crackling of the flames in front of the Ape King but they were enough to keep his mind at ease. Often, especially in the dead of night, he found himself thinking about Humanity - thinking more personally though. Things he had only really shared with Maurice. Things that he worried would stir Koba further into the throes of rebellion. He’d think about Will, Caroline, Charles. His life in San Francisco. His life before the Colony. Not that he missed it, not that he yearned for it, but the memories plagued him and as he aged, he found it more and more difficult to separate them and they were becoming a tangled mess inside of his mind. He found himself restless as he tried to pry them apart.
Caesar’s green eyes, as focused as ever but having lost that primal and aggressive stare. His brow ever so softened, his scowl lighter than most times. There would be no denying in that moment that he was striking in appearance, even when he was not engaged to be intimidating.
You come to sit next to him after realizing that he wasn’t in the nest with you when you had stirred awake moments ago. He’s quiet to acknowledge your appearance, to briefly hold his head up when you sat next to him before his chin dropped back down, his gaze quite pensive as he looked at the fire. Nothing’s said. Nothing needs to be as you lean your body against his own; the weight pressing into his side. Caesar draws a deep breath in, looking down at you as you nestled deeply into his side. He accepts your form of affection, physical, with ease and sinks into it. If he feels the pleasure to talk to you about his memories, he knows he is free to do so without judgment. But, this? Sitting in such close proximity, his nose now entranced with your scent, your weight so nicely placed next to him? He didn't want to ruin the moment with words.
Oddly does find himself in the throes of words of affirmation every so often when you’re so gracious to give him a compliment, or praise of any kind. He figures that you’re aware that it makes him feel good to hear, and so you do shower him with praise, especially if he comes off a few days of being gone, perhaps to hunt, perhaps to scope the human settlements. He’ll accept it with grace but finds himself without words to say anything in response and will just bring you in for a moment, foreheads grazing each other, your hands coming to rest on the sides of his face and sinking into the moment.
~*He does know that words of affirmation are a big thing for you, after all, it was a heavily implied scenario with Humans. That they liked to be told when they were doing a good job. So, Caesar does take it upon himself to bless you with praise every so often, when he knows you need it. And sometimes when you don’t.
~*Uses them purposefully though to encourage you. When you were learning how to fish from Caesar, he was quick to give you compliments on your form, on how you were holding yourself. He grasped at your hips with his hands and angled you ever so slightly against him before telling you to release your spear into the water. You caught your first fish.
~*He’s more careful with words of affirmation though, knowing that implications were strong and if he said one thing taken to be more flirtatious than the others, he knows he’s about to be pulled into something he can’t, nor really wants to, stop from happening.
~*Favors words of affirmation when he lays with you don’t come at me for this it is a valid POINT I would go more into but maybe later and if someone really wants to hear about it.
Noa.
Contrary to Caesar, Noa is more prone to physical acts, gift giving and words of affirmation as his forms of affection. Given his lack all these years out side of parental affection and friendship affection, it made sense he had a harder time picking just one. I mean, why have one when you can have multiple? It is a pretty steady three-way tie between them.
On one hand, a mere touch from you was enough to get his heart pounding with flurries of anticipation and thought. What did the touch mean? Was it just a graze? Were you putting thought into it or have you gotten comfortable enough with Noa that you felt the need to touch him needlessly, without warning or reservation? He had no idea, but he ate it up. He’s also incredibly biased towards touching you.
Whether it was the intentional grab to get you to come closer to him, or the needed helping hand as you traversed terrain together and you were unbalanced, reaching your hand out for Noa to help with your balance, or even the mere placement of your chest against his back when you rode on the back of his horse, arms wrapped around his thin waist. Noa felt like he’d come undone just thinking about it.
~Those are just the unintentional touching, don't get me started on intentional. I’m kidding. Absolutely relishes beyond belief at the moments when you are with him and seek to grasp at him. Your favorite place happens to be his bicep, almost captivated in how large and strong it was. If he chose to, he could pick you up one handed. And you would let him.
~*Does like hand holding, really likes the feeling of wrapping your entire hand up in one of his and watching as you struggle to release yourself, laughing at him when you fail, and cheering in excitement if he lets you loose. That’s the funny part- It’s a game, and if you were aware or not, Noa occasionally does let you win.
~*Goes absolutely feral if you’re wrapped tightly in the nest together, after Noa and you had some endeavors and you begin brushing his fur - Especially along his chest, your hand liking to lay flat against his sternum and feeling the soft push and pull of his breathing, tracing the mere outline of the scar on his right pectoral, and down his ribs to tickle ever so slightly, slowly inkling your way downwards, almost in a beckoning way for him to take you again. And then again. And then… Maybe if Noa wasn’t tired enough, again. Noa isn’t aware if you know that the reaction he gets from that is incredibly visceral - or maybe you did and it was done intentionally. He didn't care. He’d take anything from you.
~*To balance the above point, it is his utmost pleasure to lightly trail his fingers against the curvature of your spine and he loves it when you laugh as a response. Whether it’s when you’re collapsed on top of him and instead of seeking to hold you, he’ll place his larger hands against your back and just… Trace. Up and down, feeling the smooth nature of your skin, breathing in your scent as you’re drawn to place your head beside his. Or, if you’re laying on your stomach next to him. Hands are almost guaranteed to be on your back, rising and falling with each breath that you take.
Rolling the dice on that, gift giving is pretty evident the longer you stayed with the Eagle Clan. Surely, it started off mild and harmless in all aspects. Small tokens here and there; If Noa had been out with Anaya and Soona, he’d bring you back something that reminded him of you. In your collection lay a few pebbles, smooth around the surfaces and you’d find yourself playing with them between your fingers. A few broken spear-heads - Noa finds it endearing that you collect them. His favorite thing to bring back though is a flower. Any sort, he likes to find them, likes to scour for them and always finds a flutter in his chest at your face when he gives you them.
~*Ultimately leads into larger gift giving in the future. Noa gifting you armbands for Eagles to land on your forearms without getting scratched to oblivion. Even giving you your own small dagger, and a small case that would tie around your waist so you could carry the dagger with you for protection. Noa made it, it was evident from the intricate detailing that was carved into the handle of the dagger, and you find yourself lightly tracing them and into the fabric that was used for the holder. Nao so graciously gifting you his favorite animal pelt when you had mentioned to him that you were cold the night before ( Not to be too lost though, he gets it back once you’re mated and in the same nest. )
Ohhhh, does this boy love words of affirmation from you. Noa has a sick tendency to perform self-deprecation and neglect himself and his wants in favor of others - definitely a quality stolen from his Father who was very much the same in his leadership skills towards the Eagle Clan.
~*If you ever find yourself affirming him in front of Soona and Anaya? Absolute chaos. Especially if you’re urging him, providing support. Soona thinks it to be incredibly sweet- the spoken notions and the unspoken ones as she notices you placing a hand on Noa’s shoulder with your words. Anaya? You can’t tell me he wouldn’t be right alongside you, supporting Noa with chants, words of support, etc.
~*It does get him flustered in front of his friends, his muzzle puffing out slightly out of embarrassment as he looks at you.
~*Finds great pleasure when you whisper to him how much you adore him when you’re wrapped in on each other- how happy you are in the midst of the morning before the two of you have to get up, how strong he is. The strong one really gets to him on occasion, especially if you’re laying together and it’s brought up in the flurry of the moment.
~*Really takes solace in your words when he’s vulnerable - The moments of intense emotions when he finally breaks down and tells you about his Father, about the legacy he left behind and how Noa felt so inadequate to follow in his Father’s footsteps. It absolutely shatters you and without hesitation, you’re reaching for him, grasping his face with your hands and bringing him close.
You linger for a moment and look into his eyes and whisper just so gently at him, “Noa… You can do this. I-I know you can.” The look on his face from the proximity you’re at just shatters you a bit more, his eyes forlorn with sadness and uncertainty. Moving, you finally make contact, forehead to forehead and he shuts his eyes at the feeling. “You can do this…” Four simple words, but with them, comes a sense of peace to Noa that maybe… Just maybe you’re right.
#noa#caesar#noa x reaader#caesar x reader#pota#planet of the apes#planet of the apes x reader#kotpota#kingdom of the planet of the apes#own teague#andy serkis
130 notes
·
View notes
Text
you turned her against me.
“You turned her against me..” he said in a dangerous voice to price its like ghosts dynamic changed, like he was going to choose the bad side, all because of her.
"You have done that yourself!" Price said, standing in front of Ghost with a firm look on his face.
"Shut up! Both of you! You have no right!" Ghost was shaking with anger. His gaze was fixated on the two men.
Gaz could feel the heat of the situation, but he didn't say anything. As for Roach.. He wouldn't want to be in his shoes.
"You both think you're entitled to decide how I feel, how I think... You're just a bunch of idiots, thinking you know what's best for me." Ghost clenched his fists tight.
Price and Roach were taken aback. They had never seen Ghost so angry before.
Gaz tried to speak up but thought it best to stay quiet. Roach also remained silent. He could sense ghost was boiling with anger.
Ghost's shoulders tremble from the sheer force of his rage. "You, especially, soap. You think you're my best friend, don't you?
Soap swallowed hard. "What are you talking about, ghost?" He tried to speak softly, but Ghost's rage didn't calm down.
"Don't bullshit me, soap. You think I don't know you and roach tried to set me up? I'm not an idiot, you know. I know everything. I have eyes everywhere." Ghost barked.
“You know I’d burn the world for her. And now she’s gone from my life. All because you..” he screamed
Price was the first to speak up. "What the hell are you talking about? I didn't do anything!" he protested. Gaz and Roach could sense the tension growing thicker.
Ghost's eyes widened with anger. He took a step toward Price, looking like he was ready to pummel him into the ground.
“You’ve done more than you think captain.” He snarled
"And I think that was enough" Ghost said in a low voice. His fists were clenched tight and Ghost looked ready to swing at Price's face.
Gaz and Roach had no doubts that Ghost would fight Price. The way Ghost stared him down made it clear. Price was shaking from Ghost's intense stare.
“Where is she. Where is she?..” he repeated himself
Price stared at Ghost in horror, knowing full well who he was talking about. Gaz and Roach stared in horror as they realized that Ghost knew what had happened.
"She's dead" Price finally replied, his eyes never leaving Ghost. He felt like Ghost was going to kill him right then and there.
Ghost's face twisted in rage. "You.. You let her die?" He seethed. "You watched her die, didn't you? You... You just let it happen..." Ghost's voice was low and full of anger.
Price was speechless. He didn't say anything. He just looked at Ghost with a mixture of fear and guilt. Gaz and Roach watched silently.
Ghost's fists tightened. He wanted nothing more than to kill Price, right where he stood. He wanted to end his life so he could pay for what he had done.
He shook his head “you’re hiding her from me.” He said firmly
"Ghost, just listen. She's really dead" Price said, raising his hands to try to calm Ghost down. Ghost's eyes were fixated on him, like a wolf about to pounce on its prey.
Gaz and Roach watched in silent terror. They were watching a massacre about to happen right before their very eyes.
And it happened he fought them all blinded by rage, leaving them on the ground.
Not dead, yet.
He left the building and was considered MIA and intractable.
(Wanted to make a little anakin Skywalker inspired shot)
#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#modern warfare#simon ghost x reader#simon riley smut#simon riley x reader#cod x reader#simon riley#codcanon#cod 141#cod imagine
126 notes
·
View notes
Text
Winter of Woe
Idol Park Seonghwa x (F)Reader
Summary: Winter had always left him cold and bitter, sprint had always been his season, yet, when it became too much, his spring had decided to walk back into his life, on that cold, dark winter night
Genre: Angst/ Comfort (kinda open-ended?)
Warnings: None
Ratings: SFW
Word Count: 2.5K
Est.Read Time: 12 min
Networks: @cromernet @k-labels @illusionnet
Winter was never one of his favourite seasons, yet, it was one of the seasons that would help him numb out anything that dared to bother him. The nights would fall too early, and the sky would never be a shade of pastel so pretty, but a blanket of grey loomed over them, over him. The nights would be long, would be cold and eerily silent, quiet enough for the unspoken words of his to resurface, wrapping around his torso, slowly squeezing the life out of him- but the nights would be chilly, freezing and cold, enough to paralyse the words, mute them out by the chattering of his teeth, pricking his bones that were covered in flesh and supposedly warm wool.
The nights were welcoming enough to give him the solitude he needed after a tiring day, a tiring session of socialising, of smiling, pretending everything was as it was supposed to be, as it should have been- or so he had begun to tell himself more often than he would like to admit. Perhaps this started as soon as their break was announced, where all had chosen to retreat to their little dens, their homes, cosy and warm, yet, he had decided to stay behind, wanting to remain in isolation, away from his loved ones. Perhaps it was an act of redemption, of punishing himself, of constantly reminding himself of his past regrets, his mistakes, his anger, his repressed hatred towards himself, his-
"Hwa?"
The faint voice of an angel rang through his ears like church bells, it had been a while since he had the honour of hearing the voice of his- no, not his, she was no longer his angel, he had made sure of that, perhaps that is why he felt so bitter towards this season, he had left her cold and shivering with the chill.
"Hey..." his whisper morphing into a puff, floating between the two as he stared down at her, drinking in her appearance, eyes roaming her face like a map learnt by heart, taking in her essence, her being.
"How have you been?" She smiled, pulling down her mask and moving a cup of coffee closer to him, "Here."
"I'm better..." he sighed, only to pause and stare at the coffee, eyes flickering back up to her, somewhat disturbed about how she was easily pretending as if nothing had happened, though he was conflicted, maybe this was better than her bringing up the past, but was she following him? Or perhaps this coffee was-
"Better is good, Hwa... oh the coffee- I got stood up.... shouldn’t have bought the coffee while waiting for him." She cleared her throat, before averting her gaze, arm still extended as she offered him the second cup. Honestly, she was already down in the dumps, rejections were never easy, break ups were even worse -she'd know- but being stood up was like you failed to pass a test, so unworthy that no one could even spare a glance at you, so if he were to reject the coffee right now, she probably would break down right in front of him.
"Thanks..."
The brush of his cold fingertips sent a shiver down her spine, her eyes flickering up to meet his, staring up at him with some form of admiration, one that he did not believe he deserved- after all those years, he was still the same, the same coward who was too afraid to love her, the same hideous being who was unworthy of her, the same man who she had devoted all her love to, yet he had decided to let go of her hand when the times got a bit too rough.
"You've grown prettier." She sighed, a gentle smile gracing her features as she walked beside him, the crunch of the snow beneath their boots constantly reminding him to take the next step beside her. Her words hung between them, perhaps a dead weight, perhaps the deceased memories of them together- maybe she shouldn't have called him out. Maybe he wanted to spend time alone, maybe he didn't want to see her again, maybe-
"You should make him pay you back..."
"Huh?" Turning to face him, cup in lap she blinked at his side profile, taking in his beauty, his grace, his masculine charm, as he sat there staring at the coffee in his hands, gripping onto it for his dear life. "What...do you mean?"
"You should...make him pay you back..." Taking another gulp of the warm beverage he sighed, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the bench, wondering why she even bothered to call him out, especially when he was the one to pull away first.
“It's fine…not the first time I’ve been ghosted.”
His eyes shot open at that statement finally turning to meet her tender gaze, one that held no ounce of anger or resentment, but one with a swirling curiosity, and a twinge of woe, but it was enough for him to break eye contact, choosing not to continue, for any moment longer and his resolve may shatter-
“Why…did you do it?”
Her words were gentle, but the impact was worse than being stabbed, the way her hand rested on his arm, giving him a gentle squeeze, “I just…I just want to know…if I did something to upset you…you just disappeared.” She had moved a bit closer to him, it had been so long since she had even heard from him, sure, she had heard and seen the content of their group, but him, no- not in person, not like this. She was unsure of what had happened, what had she done for him to slip out of her life like that, for him to show up at her door in the middle of a winter night, much like this one, with swollen eyes and a stuttering tongue, uttering the three words she had never wished to hear, “Let’s break up.”
Truth be told, she had spent the whole night wondering about the possibilities that could have led to this unfortunate scenario, even asked Hongjoong if it was a decision made by the company, to which he had refused, saddened by the news, but he had told her this was a decision his friend had taken on his own. She had tried calling him a few times but he had texted her to not do so anymore, and if there was one thing she had learnt about her lover, it was that he was always very clear with what he wanted, and when he wanted- perhaps, he no longer wanted her?
She would’ve believed that, truly, but something at the back of her mind kept bothering her, perhaps she no longer wanted him back, but felt that she had the right to know what had led a long-term relationship to end poorly- closure, that is what she wanted, that is why she had called him out after years of seeing him, calling him out before she could even think of what to say next, calling him out after another date where she was stood up, calling him out before he could walk away again. This was probably why she sat here, basking in his presence, pleading with him to at least give her a simple liner that she could take as an explanation, “I…I just need to know…what it was, I promise…I’ll leave after…Hwa.”
“How could I love someone, when I couldn’t even love myself.”
The world around them had come to a standstill, silent as the calm sea, cold as the ice, as heavy as the heart of a widow, the two stared at each other; confused, conflicted, angry, upset and…in love. For the first time now, he had looked at her properly, had given her a proper reaction, and shown her the bits that he’d often hide, the bits that made him human, the bits that made him, her Hwa. From the way his bottom lip quivered to the way his eyes teared up at her, face contorting as if he were in pain- he was- and for some melancholic, sadistic reason, it made her frail heart flutter, her heart giggling in joy to see him like this, not in spite, no, never, but in the aspiration of there being traces of love with the empty confines of his heart, hidden in the cracks, asleep in patience and sorrow, waiting for the time it could spill out again.
“Hwa…” her words were soft, cupping his cheek, feeling the warmth of it buzzing against her cold palm, thumb caressing the skin, smearing the wet trail left behind by his tears, sighing as she moved closer, enough for them to be sharing body warm, her thigh pressing against his, coffee long forgotten as she cupped his face with both hands, tilting his face to admire him, “Why didn’t you say so…do you think I wouldn’t have given you space?”
“It’s…not about space.” He hissed, gently gripping her wrists to remove her hands from his face- what was he still fighting? At this point, he wasn’t sure, but he knew, he knew for a fact, that he was not going to let her forgive him so easily. As if he had not just tossed her aside when his own insecurities began to nip a bit too close to home when he knew that even though his own mind was against his being, the person he had given his heart to would carefully hold it in her palm, all warm and snug until he was ready to be let out to the world- no, he did not deserve this, he did not deserve her, “I…did not deserve you, your love…your admiration and sincerity, especially when I was unable to truly reciprocate it with the sincerity that yours held.”
She let him remove her hands, watching him closely, nodding to his words, words that once again hinted about how their ends perhaps may be split by fate, yet, she noticed how his grip on her had tightened, not wanting to let her go, ready to fight fate- maybe this was what he lacked the last time, the will to fight, perhaps because he had given up on himself as well, a dilemma so strong that her presence was merely a representation of the sun, and he, Icarus, knew that his wings could not take him up to her- but what if this time, she came to him? All she asked for in return was to be acknowledged, to be treated not like the holy sun, but the silent listener, the moon, the watcher, the companion on lonesome nights, ever so silent, ever so loyal, ever so loving.
“Do you still feel the same way-” she whispered, only for him to cut her off, letting go of her to furiously rub away any proof of his sorrows and regret, oh how it broke her to see him like this, so confused and in shambles.
“Of course! I don’t deserve you-”
“About yourself, Hwa…do you think you now love yourself enough to share that love with someone else, enough to let someone else love you?” gripping his wrists she pulled his hands away from his face, giving him a squeeze, enough to have him gulping at her, her gentle face, her determined eyes, her confident aura, having his throat parch up at the realization, one that he had buried in the crevices of his heart, burying it with everything he could find, every distraction, every wish, every whim- everything that could never measure up to her, the need of having her in life, the want of her near him. No one had asked him that before, no one had wondered if he now loved himself enough, thought of himself to be important enough to be even considered human, to be considered worthy enough of having his own choices, his own opinions, his own story- no one had asked him if he was his heart had begun to beat for himself, to not only keep him functioning but to keep him alive.
“I…think so…I hope so.” He whispered, unsure of where this was going, honestly, this was too much to take in one go anyway, with her popping up out of the blue, coming to him on a night so long, a night so cold, a night so much like the one on which he had left her broken and confused. He watched her smile at him, staring up at her when she stood up, only he had remained rooted in place, blinking ever so slowly at her, as his guardian angel knelt closer to his sitting form, pressing her warm lips against his cheek, before whispering something to him.
Slowly pulling away she gave him one last smile, caressing his buzzing, warm, soft cheek with her knuckles, making sure to leave him craving for more, wanting more, as he watched her walk away into the night. Watching her walk away into the cold of the night, with her, was her warmth and love, resonating from her being, melting any and everything around her into spring, much like the spring he had confessed to her in, the spring when he was a wee lad on the with one foot into the doorstep of stardom and another in her world, pulling her across with a loving, yet firm grip, making she stood strong on the same ground as he did- only, for him to lose his footing, in the process of which he had unknowingly let go of her hand, letting her slip through his fingers. And when she had reached down to pull him up from the pits of his own defeat and sorrows, he had pulled back, turning away to let it all envelope him in its numbing hold, rather than embracing her warmth and love- perhaps he was afraid her love may melt away the numbness, sprouting out everything that he lay within the frozen layer of his masculinity, or what he once assumed was the definition of masculinity. He watched her till she was out of sight, but not out of mind, she was far in being, but close and well seated within his heart- a new profound emotion coursing through his veins, with fireworks booming within his system as his whole being lit on fire, fingers gripping the paper cup with as tight as he wanted to hold her close to him, letting out a sigh of relief as he felt his mind run on overdrive, constantly repeating her words in his head, leaning back against the bench as he closed his eyes, smiling at the possibility that awaited, not the boy that was too afraid of his own demons to look past them to the angel that stood across, but the man who was ready to push past his demons to finally let his angel save him.
“Then…when you do…and if you do, find it in within you, to love me again, and you feel safe enough to let me…love you, I need you to know I’ll be waiting for you.”
A/N: I cant do angst with a sad endings. Im sorry
Taglist: @edenesth @yessa-vie
@mlysalt @spooo00oky @the-kpop-simp
#cromernet#k labels#illusionnet#ateez#fluff#choi san#mingi#hongjoong#jongho#seonghwa#yeosang#yunho#ateez timestamps#ateez scenario#choi san fluff#ateez fluff#atz scenarios#atz imagines#song mingi#ateez fanfiction#ateez imagines#ateez x you#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#atz#atiny#seonghwa x reader#park seonghwa#seonghwa ateez#seonghwa x you
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
IN-DEPTH CHARACTER ANALYSIS OF KRIS(MAS) DREEMURR
Hello! I've wanted to make this post for a WHILE now, since Kris is my favourite character ever, and I LOVE analyzing characters!!
Anyway before I start just remember that people consume media differently, and this is just what I've personally picked up on. You may interpret certain points I make differently to me, and that's ok! I'm just sharing MY analysis of Kris, at the end of the day, they're a character who has never spoken any dialogue that's visible to us, so their intentions behind certain things could be interpreted differently depending on who's consuming the media.
Kris will be EXCLUSIVELY referred to by they/them (they/them/themself specifically) pronouns throughout this post. If you refer to them as anything other than they/them while interacting with this post I'm gonna block you on the spot sorry.
ANALYSIS BELOW THE CUT BECAUSE IT'S LONG!!! TW there's probably some swearing I can't remember
By the way, I'm not including any screenshots because I. forgot to take them last time I played through Deltarune, but the next time that I do, I'm going to make like a revamped version of this post with screenshots. Sorry about that!!
Kris is their own, separate character from the player. This is a no-brainer if you've actually played through Deltarune and paid the slightest bit of attention to it. Kris is their own, separate character with a VERY distinct, interesting personality, who had a life before the events of Deltarune, and even still has control over some things that they say and do while in our control.
Kris isn't actually a quiet person. Kris, in reality, is an overdramatic, sassy, talkative person who often draws attention to themself by scaring people (especially Noelle), and causing scenes. They CONSTANTLY play mean spirited pranks on Noelle or pressure her into things (I'm NOT talking about Snowgrave, I'll get to thar later), like shaking the ferris wheel carriage despite Noelle being scared of heights, and telling her that ICE-E is real and eats kids. They still do this during the events for Deltarune, like if you go against Noelle's wishes and pet the cheese, Kris strokes it like a cat, and if you give Noelle a healing item called a Choco Diamond, she says something along the lines of 'Umm, it's ok, Kris, I'll share', and both of them get healed. We don't choose for Kris to force Noelle to share, that's a decision they make. As for drawing attention to themself, the first thing that comes to mind is they falling to the ground and sulking when they're too short and weak to play Queen's arcade machine, or them barking at Noelle when she offers them a dog treat. They're loud and impulsive, shown when they eat the pie at the end of chapter one, repeatedly kicking the robot in the basement when nothing happens originally before the Sneo fight, eating all of the chocolate Undyne gives them to give to Alphys if you interact with the box, and screaming that they're normal if you call Toriel after watching her conversation with Alphys at the start of chapter two. Speaking of which...
Kris seems to have identity issues. This is one of the things here that everyone in the fandom is kind of already aware of, but this is a full character analysis, so it's still important to mention. Kris is the only human in Hometown, but desperately wants to be perceived as normal. They scream it at Toriel like I mentioned earlier, they wore a headband with red horns on it when they were little to look more like a boss monster, and they seem actively disgusting or even frightened by other humans. They also seem to be living in their brother's shadow a bit, which may be why they like drawing attention to themself. Everything I've said about their personality seems to be a little on the negative side so far, but everyone in Hometown knows their name, and seems to quite like them, so why is this? Well...
Kris is charming, well-spoken, and funny. They're a prankster known for pulling mean-spirited pranks on people, but even still characters like Noelle look back at those things fondly, and everyone in Hometown seems to like spending time with Kris. Kris' flirting abilities are pretty obvious, and are used to win over loads of Darkners, not to mention their ability to formulate a compelling speech on the spot, as shown during the first Queen battle when toasting to her. They easily win people over, especially if they like a person, I mean, they became best friends with their former bully in a DAY! A DAY!!! People seem to find them just genuinely fun to hang around, probably due to them just being a funny, charming, somewhat balls of the walls kinda person.
Kris is NOT evil or malicious. This is one of the most important points I've wanted to make on this post. I've seen the theory that Kris is evil because they don't actively do anything to prevent Snowgrave from happening tossed around and I'm here to say that that is actually fucking stupid sorry. Normally I HATE being mean about people's theories because, like I said, everyone consumes media differently, but that one is just genuinely terrible. I'd say it's WAY more likely that as Noelle gets strong, out control over Kris becomes stronger. Normally, when we choose an option to make Kris say or do something, they ELABORATE on that, which is confirmed by how characters interact with them. We just can't see them speaking to give the illusion that they're a blank slate, under our full control. But, during Snowgrave, they just say EXACTLY what you tell them to say. If you tell them to say 'We're something else', they just say 'We're something else'. If you tell them to say 'Proceed', they just say 'Proceed'. Sure, you could put this towards them not caring, but after Berdly is frozen and you reunite with Ralsei and Susie, both of them say that Kris looks HURT. And later on, they REFUSE to go and see Noelle in her room. The refuse to THINK about it. They're not happy with what happened. They didn't want to go around freezing people. But the one thing that Really stood out to me, was during the Snowgrave Spamton Neo fight. Near the end, you have the option to call Ralsei and Susie for help, which prompts the flavour text; 'Kris called for Susie and Ralsei... But nobody came'. After that, you have to call Noelle for help to finish the battle, which prompts the dialogue; 'You called for Noelle'. Spamton states that Kris could barely whisper her name. They're trying to stop you from calling for her. Those aren't their words. I think that kind of confirms that they didn't want Snowgrave to happen. Kris is just a funny teenager with identity issues, they're not evil. Sorry evil Kris fans.
Kris probably isn't the Roaring Knight. They're A knight, but not THE knight. So far, they don't REALLY have any motivation for opening the first two fountains that I'm aware of, and I doubt they knew they could open a fountain until Queen's speech at the end of Chapter 2. At the end of Chapter 2, however, they do seem to have a motivation to open a fountain. They (presumably) slash Toriel's tyres to stop her from leaving the house to go and get flour. They want her to see the Dark World. And if you choose the option to talk to Undyne about the Dark World, Kris explains it to her in FULL DETAIL, but she brushes it off as a joke. Toriel finding her tyres slashed leads her to call the guards, and Kris leaves the door of the house wide open. They want Undyne to see the Dark World, I don't know WHY, but they do for some reason. But I REALLY doubt they're the Roaring Knight, they just don't have the motivation, and if it is them, it would be really weird for Toby to reveal that so early. I really doubt that kid wants to bring on the end of the world.
That's all I have for now!! Expect a more fleshed out version of this next time I play Deltarune with screenshots and such, though I may wait until chapter 3 and 4 come out! Thanks for reading!
#robinrambles#character analysis#kris dreemurr#kris deltarune#kris#long post#gif tw#deltarune#utdr#safeutdr#safe utdr
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know well it won't ever happen, but it'd be great if on FIRST (official) Hazbin (as a show, not a pilot) pride, Al's finally confirmed to be AROACE.
The rejection of Al's orientation in this fandom is crazy and I'm not speaking of fanon, but CANON.
I'm SO tired of people saying "but he was just confirmed to be asexual!", "but the moment with rosie!", "what amir said was incorrect and he apologized for it!", "what faustisse said isn't canon anymore!" COZ-
Viv literally heavily implied on one of the streams Al's aroace, saying:
Oh no, I'm going to destroy the ship. I can't say. I don't want to ruin the fun for everybody. That's why I've been very quiet on whether or not Al is aromantic.
If I give a real canon answer [..] I don't wanna ruin anyone's fun
She knows the CANON answer to that question but doesn't say it aloud coz the canon somehow ruins fanon fun.
I really don't get why viv was then so eager to give everyone right to do whatever the hell they want but never confirm Al as aroace in the same. damn. fear. to ruin shipper's fun. Like? Bro if you gave the opportunity to do everything why hide what will change nothing? People will still ship, people will still play with his orientation (which is valid as long as you're respectful), but you know what it will give instead? Damn REPRESENTATION, damn CONFIRMATION, the damn thing your show is supposed to give.
Not to be rude, but then Husk being pan is non-canon as well (that's faustisse who said he is). And then media literacy is dead once again coz it's obvious Rosie was talking about dating Charlie not bout Al f=cking her. I might sound like overreacting but it's viv herself who is the reason of the war.
Screw fanon, canon should be stated by you, as a creator, giving the canon answers, coz you provide the show, you provide the characters, you provide the plot and lore and you are the one who created the characters the way they are. You can't really affect what people do with them, how they interpret them and how they create stories of them, but you are responsible for giving clearly defined information especially if it plays part in representation of the repressed group of real people.
Coz having actual confirmed aromantic IS a big achievement for us. Forcing him into the closet and taking away the bits of rep we could have is, honestly, a highly unwise choice. Saying fanon is a wide playground on which canon can have minimum influence but never giving specific canon statements is just utterly hypocrite. Aaand hiding the fact that someone is meant to not have any relationships for the sake of fanon (which is somehow much more important than real-life issues of literal erasure of aromantics) is pretty aphobic ngl.
#pride#aromantic#asexual#asexual alastor#aromantic alastor#aroace alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#sorry if any of that came out as harsh or sth but ppl spreading misinfo on his CANON orientation just makes me so damn angry#this is a rage post lmao#my opinion on fanon ships isn't relevant here btw i'm talking about canon and canon only#also#i know well how much asexuals need their rep as well (i'm greyace myself and honestly CRAVE it more)#but al IS aromantic as well and whether you hc him as one or not it should NOT change the fact that in CANON he is actually both#happy aromantic day btw#<3#I'm cery grateful that sb like al (very popular and awesome character) is aroace but the fact that creator herself is hiding this very fact#is kinda making me question everything
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
My next weekly controversial ACOTAR post: A defense of Azriel, because if I see one more post saying he has no personality or is an incel (but also an f-boy apparently) then it’s game over
Azriel is such an interesting and complex character I think it’s an incredible shame so many readers misinterpret him just because his character is shown is small bursts rather than loud blasts. SO i’m not going to try and defend him because this man has done nothing wrong, instead I’ll provide y’all with a list of moments that prove both that Azriel DOES have a personality and that’s it’s a loveable one:
•He tells Feyre that Cassian is annoying right up front (a small thing but I appreciate it)
• He spent the night at Rita’s with Feyre, playing silly games betting on Rhys’ dating life (funny for so many reasons) and making her feel comfortable in an overwhelming situation
•Even though he’s quiet and private, he confides to Feyre he doesn’t know where he belongs after 500 years and feels he doesn’t fit in to reassure her that the feelings she’s having are normal
•He was reassuring and polite to Elain and Nesta when they first meet
•Acknowledged that it was a risk and a sacrifice for Nesta and Elain to lend them their house and was thankful rather than antagonistic or rude (*cough cough Cassian*) and met them both with a protective regard to Feyre but an open mind about their circumstances
•Is so upset by the mysogny and abuse in Illyria he straight up refuses to go there because he will not play nice and polite with these jerks like Rhys and Cas do
•In Feyre’s own words, she trusts him well enough that if Rhys was ever doing something to harm her/locking her up like Tamlin did she believes he would not only save her but deal with Rhys himself if it came to it
•Follow up on above, he spies on Amren against Rhys’ orders. When Feyre asks about it Amren says Azriel is the most disobedient of the IC (some of them could never) because he’s willing to do what is right over what Rhys thinks is right (hot)
•Gave Feyre such a stunning smile after she accepts the mating bond that Rhys is filled with jealousy and ready to attack (that is to say, this man is very pretty and deserves credit for it)
•Amren putting her head on his shoulder after battle because she’s tired and everyone (including him) is shocked but he’s polite about it and also it just radiates male worth trusting vibes
•Was literally bleeding out screaming crying throwing up poisoned and still sassed the king of Hybern for Mor and Feyre
•When Cassian is trying to make Lucien uncomfortable Azriel KICKS HIM (all the Azriel is so mean/hates Lucien people come down to reality please)
•When Cassian implies something rude about Nesta and Mor wants to join in Azriel shoots her a look to stop (yes the Az that is supposedly obsessed with Mor and her opinion of him) and Feyre describes said look as as if they had talked about it many times before so YES EVEN PRE-ACOWAR THIS MAN WAS SUPPORTING NESTA
•Feyre and Mor both agree he’s the only one with manners
•He laughed at Nesta’s sassy comment to Mor because man respects good comedy
•When Cassian makes a sexist joke and implies Az is thinking the same thing not only does Azriel not engage with his tomfoolery but Mor cuts in to defend him as the only batboy who never says such things
•Just the ENTIRE sequence of him training Feyre to fly. He’s so sweet and witty and charming
•So gentle and reassuring to Elain, offering to show her the garden and carrying her all the way up to the house
•Him taking care of Feyres injuries from the flying lessons. Again just always being so gentle and sweet. He trusts her enough not to go easy on her but isn’t cruel and overworking either
•The entire Nephelle story and just the fact Rhys gave the story to Azriel as a “gift” this boy appreciates sweet stories about underdog lesbians with wings and I love it
•Just him paying such close careful attention to Elain and recognizing she is a seer, him talking her through her visions and helping reassure her she’s not crazy (he knows what that feels like)
•Even though he hates Illyrians, he helps Cassian break the news to the families of those who lost warriors in the war
•Just “I don’t see you spouting poetry brother” “I don’t need to resort to it😩🔥”
•BE CAREFUL HOW YOU SPEAK ABOUT MY HIGH LADY
•Eris uttered the word “slut” about a woman and this man ATTACKED. Like I am an Eris stan and I know some people don’t like this scene but it’s the true feminist energy I need
•Ignoring Rhys’ order to stand down but stopping the second Feyre says something bc this man respects women’s authority (t’s literally an intentional way of demonstrating Feyres power right after she was belittled by Tamlin. people act like he was rabid in this scene but it seems so clear to me he was intentionally doing this to support his high lady)
•Was the first to realize something was wrong with Elain (also has a sweet exchange of looks with Nesta over it, like they are homegirl’s designated protectors)
•Just EVERYTHING about him volunteering to get Elain back. Whether you ship Elriel or not this was such a sweet moment. He doesn’t hesitate at all even when Nesta says it’s a death wish and everyone’s sentiment starts to change.
•Everything about him saving Elain and the human girl. Just 10/10 all around, hot, stunning, sweet, incredible, precious angel of death boy
•Az is so badly wounded after the rescue mission that Rhys and the others who see him are shocked but he refused to set Elain down (even though she’s not hurt) until Rhys takes her and the first thing he asks is for Helion to come unchain her (not anything for himself). Again just SOOO sweet and caring whether you ship Elriel or not
•Another Elriel moment but well they happen, Az giving her truth teller is just🤧 he’s never lent out this blade to his brothers or anyone else, we know it has some special brand of magic and he likely does too and he offers it to Elain to give her a sense of safety (again even if you don’t ship them it’s just so considerate)
•”Chain me to a tree Rhys, I’ll rip it out of the ground and fly with it on my damned back” LIKE TELL ME THAT ISNT HOT
•A super small moment but after the war when the boys are watching the sisters/Mor laughing and Rhys starts crying Az tells him “it’s real” and I just think the intuitive understanding and care behind that is so sweet (especially when Az is so misunderstood by his brothers)
•This sounds more like a hate comment to Rhys/Cassian than pro Az but when Rhys admits he and Cassian used to beat Azriel for hours to get him to speak to them and he never would, I think that’s such crazy determination and resolve and also he’s wayyyyy nicer than me for still putting up with them after that
•HIM REFUSING TO SPY ON LUCIEN. I just love that degree of respect it’s made even better by the fact Rhys asks about Lucien a second time bc he literally assumes Az was joking and Azriel’s just like “nope not doing it” (again people who say he hates Lucien, please)
•Him finding drunk Cassian and Feyre and trying to fix their terrible decorations the just chugging some wine himself😭 he’s so funny AND sweet
•”Sit, I’ll take care of it.” I NEED THIS ENERGY FROM EVERY MAN EVER PLEASE
•Also him telling everyone to wait for Elain because she’s literally the one who cooked and them eating before her would be rude and I just IWJDKWKDN again so hot and polite and it’s not even a romance/flirting thing bc when Elain comes back and she/Cas give him the opportunity to take credit he doesn’t at all?? He just did it because it’s right and proper
•Him insulting Amren to defend Elain (and then blushing when everyone laughs at his joke) he’s precious (and funny af)
•Him dying at Elains gift JMEKXNEKD the IC stresses him fr and he’s waiting for someone to free him
•Him being nice about Mor’s awful gifts even though she’s known him for 500 years and still gets him awful gifts and also exchanges lingerie with Cassian to his (and Nesta’s) face even though she thinks Az is in love with her
•Half compliment to Az half complaint about Cassian, but when there’s mention of all the universe research Rhys does in ACOSF Cassians like “Rhys told him and he instantly forgot” but As is super interested and listens intently and wants to learn more and I just love a boy with hobbies and interests😩
•Small thing but when he first sees Nes in the house of wind in ACOSF he smiles and is so polite and Nesta tells us for like a whole paragraph how beautiful he is and I trust that woman above all
•Also in reference to the above, Nesta chats with Az for like 10 seconds and instantly wants to train with him over Cas because she knows he’d be better to her
•Azriel blushing when Nesta calls him pretty✨ (such a sweet lover boy I swear)
•He laughs at Nesta’s insults to Cassian but holds back from laughing at Cassians✨
•The only one who literally JUST ASKS why Nesta won’t train and also sparks the idea in Cassians obtuse head that it might be because she doesn’t want to train in Illyria (VALID)
•I know people have mixed takes about how the scene is written but him asking Nesta if she was pushed down the stairs feels genuine to me, like he asks the question very pointedly serious and focuses just on Nesta, his vague amusement after is only in regard to Cassians dumb reaction but the fact he asked her and the way in which he does it (ignoring Cassians input and still waiting for Nesta’s answer) shows genuine consideration to her (still a stranger to him for all intents and purposes) over his brother’s feelings
•Him paying such careful attention to Nesta and being the only one who never starts fights with her to such a strong degree that even Nesta feels too seen by him
•Such a basic thing (but it’s not when you look at the quality of other ACOTAR men unfortunately) but when Cassian asks him if he wants kids he says it’s not his decision (like this is why I hate the anti-elriel “elain can’t bare his children” argument, I assure you Az does not gaf)
•”Azriel had never said a bad word about Nesta” and i’m not supposed to stan???
•Also the fact he doesn’t like hand to hand combat bc he doesn’t like getting covered in people’s sweat JEKKDKW I know it’s just a gag Cas jokes about but there’s something so funny and refined about that
•Him being so competitive is hot honestly😩 especially how Cassian describes it as not being in an arrogant or scary way but in a very strategic sort of manner, how he’s often the only one who can compete with Rhys (who was trained for this stuff since birth) like YES
•Az getting flustered and awkwardly walking away when he sees how Nesta is staring at him and Cas KEKKDKE i so highly appreciate his balance between confident and shy boy
•Him and Nesta smiling about Cassians stupidity, being “allies against his insanity,” again, Az just being a friend to her is so sweet (and important given it’s like the one thing Nesta needed in this book)
•Not only does he vote with Cas against keeping things from Nes but when Amren starts saying lewd things about her it’s Azriel (not Cassian bc apparently he could never) who tells her to STFU about Nesta
•Amren tells the boys NOT to touch the sword and Az is legit the only one who tries to listen (the ONLY bat boy with brain cells half the time)
•Just the fact that once he starts training the Priestesses with Cas Nesta notes a bunch of them seem to have crushes on him. Like these girls who have been so traumatized by men they can barely stand to be in public feel that comfortable with him so quickly, he just radiates safe energy
•Also a small moment but him awkwardly smiling the first time he sees Gwyn at training and just trying to act casual to not make her feel weird is so sweet.
•Him dancing with Nesta “as easily as breathing” (again, their friendship means everything to me)
•When Nesta asks him why he came to solstice if seeing Elain/Lucien hurts him and he says “Because Rhys wants me here and it’d hurt him if I didn’t come” like HEJEKNDO he’s so selfless for the people he cares about FR (especially given how Rhys talks to him that same night)
•EVERYTHING about his gift to Nesta. The fact he didn’t have to give her one in the first place (it was no one’s expectation, including hers. on the surface he didn’t even get Elain a gift so it wasn’t just a polite thing). The way the gift is literally SO SWEET AND GENUINELY THOUGHTFUL like he took care not just to get her something but to get her something that would bring her joy and be useful (and is definitely based on his observations about her avoiding the fireplace)
•ALSO when she hugs him the entire room goes silent because they’re just that shocked but he just laughs and hugs her gently and then is blushing after like ANDKEKD
•The entire relationship he forms with Gwyn and how he notes shes competitive and uses that to help inspire her in training and even when he’s teasing her he’s so potently rooting for her too
•Him being nervous about holding baby Nyx with his scarred hands like this precious angel IEKKDKW
Most Offending Thing, His Bonus Chapter (the good and the bad)
•Him scheming about a snowball fight for a whole year is hilarious
•Also him including in his plotting that Cassian would be up all night with Nesta (little did he know his boy only lasts like one round, that and Cassian being so horrified at the thought of Az finding out about him being quick off the mark with Nesta, I just know Az is the stamina king)
•Even his shadows just want him to sleep but your boy is too depressed
•I’m sorry but everything about his and Elains almost kiss is HOT people who think it was overly sexualized or something have missed all the first thoughts we get from like every SJM boy about their LI (ROWAN IN QOS FR) and also the fact that this tension has obviously been brewing for a while??? he’s been avoiding her because it’s that palpable and ELAIN KNOWS IT. it’s a mutual thing it doesnt mean there isn’t romance beneath it or that he’s a creep for wanting her after a year of putting off his feelings
Brief interlude, his offending lines:
•”My two brothers are with two of those sisters but the third was given to another” - the language here might make you uncomfortable but that’s because MATING BONDS ARE UNCOMFORTABLE. we’re told by Rhys himself that they’re often used to “give” a female to a male. the distinction he makes here that Feyre/Nes are “with” Rhys/Cas but Elain was “given” to Lucien is because Elucien is the only mating bond example we’ve followed in this series where the foundation is not love and choice. Azriel does not feel entitled/think he deserves Elain. In this same chapter he feels unworthy to even touch her, stands outside in the freezing cold until he’s “again nothing at all.” Mor tells us all the way back in ACOMAF that he feels completely undeserving of love. Azriel does not think he deserves Elain just because Rhys said so (Az LITERALLY glares at him for saying it). Azriel brought up a valid point (that other characters have too) that the Archeron sisters (who have comparable power) would makes sense all mated to the bat boys (again, comparable power) since we know that’s a crux of mating bonds. Not to mention, Azriel and Elain genuinely just like each other and always have, more so than any of the mated couples even. From a logical standpoint, they would make sense as mates. Even this ships haters say they would be “too predictable/obvious” like SO YOU AGREE THEY MAKE EASY LOGICAL SENSE that’s what Az is implying.
•”Lucien will never be good enough for her” I’ve seen a lot of people use this line to say Az hates/drags Lucien but that’s not how I interpret it at all. First off, all of Az’s other actions (i’ve listed some above) show he’s actually very considerate of/trusting in regards to Lucien. This line to me reads less as “lucien is a bad/undeserving person” and more “Lucien is not what Elain wants” (right after he says she has no interest in him). From Azriel’s POV (and ours my fellow readers) Lucien has done nothing to win over Elain. Yes he’s been polite and I applaud him for that over others actions with their mates (cough cough Cassian) but he’s also never sought her out for a real conversation about the bond, never had any sort of “clicking” moment with her, and still after years just makes her uncomfortable (as far as we and Az know). I think it makes perfect sense to infer from this Lucien is not “good enough” in regards to what Elain is seeking (I think the easiest way I can put this is the idea of “somebody can be perfect but still not perfect for you”). Is Azriel’s opinion a little biased? Yes FS, but also this girl was about to let him do filthy things to her down the hall from Lucien, I say it’s pretty safe for him to infer that she doesn’t want Lucien (and therefor never will).
•”He hadn’t gotten that far with his planning, certainly not beyond the fantasies he pleasured himself to” - I won’t repeat what I said above regarding the sexual undertones in the chapter, but also the reason why Az hadn’t thought beyond this is in the chapter and it’s not because he’s some fuck boy. AZRIEL KNOWS HE CANT HAVE A FUTURE WITH ELAIN AND DOESNT THINK HE DESERVES IT. It’s written all over their interactions together. He wanted to kiss her to have a piece of her to hold onto, not because he thinks he can have a future with her because he knows as things stand he can’t. He doesn’t want to plan to push her/seduce her (like rhys implies) or anything because he doesn’t feel worthy of her and knows circumstances won’t allow them to be together safely. What’s driving him crazy and keeping him up at night with fantasies is that they do both want each other, but imagining a life where they could have more than that and be happy together is impossible for Az because he’s someone who has never prioritized his happiness and does not expect it.
•”I’ll defeat him with little effort.” - Again reading comprehension I beg, this is not a diss against Lucien. If Lucien was the type of guy to invoke a blood duel because Elain chose Azriel (Lucien wouldn’t, Azriel doesn’t even think he would it’s Rhys who suggests it) then YEAH AZ CAN KICK HIS ASS WITH LITTLE EFFORT BC THAT WOULD BE A CRAPPY THING TO DO.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming
•I LOVE everything about his scene with Gwyn on the roof. His vague awkwardness, his teasing of her and trying to be polite, him actually trying to help her train (after we learn Cas has been useless, go figure), and just being so sweet and kind to her in general even though he’s probably still incredibly sad/upset🤧
•This precious boy gets a small urge to cross his arms and is thrown into a PTSD flashback of his father with his mom??? He constantly consciously makes effort not to appear scary/threatening to women because he’s that scarred from his fathers behavior😭
•Listen, I won’t try to entirely defend the necklace thing because I do think it’s weird no matter who you ship Azriel with BUT i will say my best take on it is that it’s a version of self harm/sabotage. Like the only thing that makes sense to me here is he’s subconsciously creating barriers in his relationships with both Elain/Gwyn by doing this which is honestly way less f-boy (a weird take i’ve seen from people, especially given at this point he has no plans to pursue either Elain or Gwyn) and just way more very sad.
FINALLY, sprinkles from HOFAS:
•He’s so FINE in this book
•His silly little things like kicking rocks while trailing Nesta and Bryce to make a point are SO funny
•Him and Nesta working so well together, may not be a point in his favor but it makes me happy
•Azriel loving and defending his mom✨
•Azriel barely snapping at Nesta and then immediately apologizing and saying he loves her. THAT is more emotional intelligence than any other male in ACOTAR has shown
•Him liking club music but also being embarrassed about it? Adorable
•Everything about his interactions with Bryce in this book strike me so hard because you can tell he’s trying to keep his guard up but still has a lot of sympathy for her. I think that gets to the core of who Az is: smart and distant and guarded but also genuinely kind above all
•Also so many small funny little jokes and lines
I COULD PROBABLY SAY MORE AND GO ON FOREVER BUT HOPEFULLY PEOPLE GET THE POINT :)
#a court of thorns and roses#acotar#azriel acotar#azriel shadowsinger#azriel#pro azriel#my sweet angel boy forever#elriel#nezriel#anti cassian#anti rhysand#anti amren#anti IC minus azriel honestly#pro azriel acotar
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ever wonder how in the hell Jay's death goes? well do I HAVE A STORY FOR YOOUUUU!!! INTRODUCING HIS NEW CAUSE OF DEATH WOAH!!!! !
TW: Alcohol abuse, Drug abuse, suicide/suicidal tendencies, self harm, overdose mention, gore, ???
Quick note?? All of this is canon, yes he dies like this ;P LOLZIES!!!!! ALso if its all over the place i apologize i am fighting a moth while writing this /srs
kinda curious to know how anyone reacts to it, so... if you wanna put that down or make a post go for it, honestly im kinda considering having this be my closing post but idk yet lol </3
The sound of a gunshot can never be heard over crowds laughing and music blasting.
Fireworks in the air, water from the pool splashing... The loud BANG deaf to everyone's ears.
How could we know that? The only way it was learned was finding the body of Mr. Jay Gatz. In the highest point of his manor, overlooking the crowd below...
Let's start from square one.
Jay felt... Unwanted. Alone, if you will. As a man who's built himself and his business up only for the sake of overthrowing others, he wasn't the most enjoyed man around. Normally he would've handled this by now. The dread, the self pity, everything he had thought about himself was always kept inside. Why not now?
Standing alone, pathetic... In the office he had to himself. Bookcases covering the walls of obscure novels that he hasn't even read, a desk holding messy stacks of various papers, making him feel even worse about himself. A never ending ringing phone before he cut it, the gusts of wind blowing from the outside rustling against the curtains behind him. What a pitiful life.
An outsider. That's all he was, wasn't he? Standing up on that balcony of his, absent to anyones attention besides the solemn glow of the moon above him, and even that was leaving him soon. The fireworks lit up the mansion, the people below, the water, and the champagne bottles crashing and being tossed around to be used. He lit a cigarette, holding it for just a moment then he took a drag.
...After another drag, and another, and another... He put out the cigarette... On his own arm. He winced at the burning feeling against his skin, but another scar wouldn't hurt... Right? Scars were littered all over his body anyway, just another part of him to be ruined. He lit another cigarette then walked inside to grab a bottle of vodka from his own personal storage of alcohol. Never touched unless he was feeling more pathetic than other nights.
Ha, maybe this time he can drink himself to death. Or maybe Perkins will call the ambulance again. Jay hoped to whatever god there was above he wouldn't survive this time. His shaky hands moved to the bottle, bringing it up to his lips before pausing. A week of sobriety.
...He can restart another day. Or in another life, perhaps.
He took a drink. The burn of the alcohol going down his throat being a feeling of discomfort but satisfaction was one that he had somehow managed to miss. Gatz went back out to the balcony, drinking away his sorrows before he couldn't even find himself having any emotion anymore. The rich man could barely hear the knocks at the door, let alone the sound of a man calling for his name.
Soon enough, the door opened unbeknownst to Jay. The only thing that managed to get his attention was a quiet voice coming from the darkened room, lit by only one light. But now... There was another. Then another light on as the person flicked on the light switches. ...Perkins.
➳ ❜ Ah, Jay! I was worried about you, sir! Are you doing alright up here? It's quite... Quiet up here. ❛
No response. Jay turned back to stare into nothing.
➳ ❜ Oh, I see... Maybe you should sit down, I can grab you some tea and- ...Well, maybe not any medicine, I don't want to... Let that happen again. ❛
It wasn't needed to be discussed anymore, it was obvious Perkins was referring to the prior... Attempts Jay had made. In an attempt, Perkins had tried his best to hide anything that Jay could use to end things. As of now, it was working. With a slow approach, Perkins had walked over to Jay. Placing down the lantern he held with a small blow to put it out, he found himself standing next to his boss. Or, rather, his semi-adopted son.
The silence felt like a million years. Perkins, thinking of how to approach this properly, feeling the fatherly need to sit there and just be someone for Jay to lean on, but he knew it wasn't a night for that. All he knew is that he could NEVER leave Jay alone in a state like this. He heard a small mutter of a sob coming from next to him.
╰┈➤ ❜ ...Perkins... Can we go inside? ❛
➳ ❜ Of course my boy. ❛
Jay tiredly swung his arm around Perkins shoulders as he got guided back into the office, letting the shorter man take the vodka from his bruised and shaky hand. Within the next minute or so, he found himself sitting in the rather comfortable office chair he had right infront of his desk. Almost immediately he put his arms down on the desk and put his head down on them, shielding his face in some form of fear of what'll happen next.
➳ ❜ Jay- ❛
╰┈➤ ❜ You can leave now Perkins. ...I'm fine on my own. ❛
➳ ❜ I'm worried, my boy. I can't just leave you like this. Not because it's my job but it's because I care- ❛
Jay's body tensed. Perkins froze as he could practically feel the cold emotion that came from the man right next to him.
╰┈➤ ❜ You don't have to lie to me, Perkins. ❛
Silence. Jay thought he had left, but he hadn't. When Jay lifted up his head he saw Perkins sitting quietly next to him. ...Looks like he's here for a while.
╰┈➤ ❜ ...Am I gonna be left alone forever, Perkins? ❛
➳ ❜ Oh- of course not! You have plenty of people who would love to be around you - ❛
╰┈➤ ❜ ...Then why has everyone left me? ...Everyone except you. I can't keep being alone like this. ❛
➳ ❜ I know, I know... And I'm not getting any younger... But trust me, I won't leave you all alone. You don't deserve that. ❛
╰┈➤ ❜ ... ❛
Jay stood up, then went to grab another bottle of vodka. Perkins got up to take the bottle, only for Jay to look down with a look he has only seen a few times. He was desperate for some form of numbing. ...Perkins sighed. He held up a single finger to signal he can only have one glass.
Jay agreed.
He got the glass and drank it quickly as if it were medicine. And it has been his medicine. Ever since he was younger, more vulnerable. Manipulated, oblivious, it's always been his escape.
╰┈➤ ❜ ...If I were to give you the rest of my wealth, would you let me die? ❛
Silence. Shock. A beat went by.
➳ ❜ Of course not. I wouldn't let you die at all. ❛
╰┈➤ ❜ Oh. ❛
Jay was quiet again. He exhaled and took a drag of the cigarette he had lit earlier. Blowing it out, he looked to the floor with some thought. Jay then opened a drawer in the desk, rummaging around then he let a metal item clatter into the desk.
A gun.
Perkins froze. He took a step forward and Jay put his hand on the gun. Not as a warning to Perkins, but to himself. The blond male slowly picked it up and showed that it was loaded.
╰┈➤ ❜ I was told I needed therapy. You know, I think I’m too far gone. What’s the point of it if im just a lost cause? I’ve been crying and telling too many people my sob story. At this point this… This is better. ❛
➳ ❜ No you’re not too far gone, Jay. …Put down the gun, okay? We can talk about this- ❛
The now slowly breaking millionaire then stood up sharply, stepping back. He took the gun along with him. Then… He snapped. Immediately bursting into tears, he found himself breaking every pushing second. His hands shaking more, he held the gun up to his own head.
╰┈➤ ❜ Talk about what, Perkins? How long have you tried to help me? I’ve been nothing but a waste of time, and god… God I BET if I just- if I just SHOT myself RIGHT NOW, NOBODY OUT THERE WILL HEAR OR CARE, RIGHT?! Who’d go to my funeral? You? Who else? Huh? ❛
Silence. Perkins simply walked over and hugged Jay, catching him off guard. Jays body tensed up again, trying to find a way to keep his composure but failing miserably. The gun slightly moved away from his head, then it sharply went back.
One last exhale, and one last sentence.
╰┈➤ ❜ If you want me to live another day, I need you to start running. Get to the nearest phone. ❛
God, why was he doing this? Why was he trying to help himself? He knew he’d die by then. Somehow, Perkins listened and immediately rushed to the nearest phone only to see Jay had cut the line, then opened the door to go outside. Jay stared.
The door closed, leaving Jay alone.
…Then the gun went off.
Silence. Darkness. Not a feeling. Just… emptiness.
When the paramedics got there Jay was already as dead as can be as he laid in Perkins arms. He had staged it as a murder, writing to Perkins in a final note to never specify it was suicide, but say it was homicide. The people wouldn’t care how he died.
The sight was grim. His only butler making an effort to help, holding him up as if he were still going to live. It was a desperate attempt, really, like a father begging to bring his son back from the dead. The once lively millionaire deceased, his body tense and the blood and brain matter pooling from his head onto the fur rug he had died on. His eyes were still open, only this time they were a monotone and distant blue with less saturation than ever. His skin was pale, suit tattered most likely from the fall. The cigarette lay on his hand, slowly burning at the skin. As he lay there, people were crowded around. Some were investigators, others were people who simply wanted to see. Others taking photos to post on the papers as soon as possible.
…And now Perkins was left to handle the rest of the work Jay had set up.
#|🥂| ~ 𝑮𝑨𝑻𝒁 𝑳𝑶𝑹𝑬!#ramshackle jay#ramshackle oc blog#tw gore#tw suicide#tw blood#tw uhhh sad#oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead!!!!#tw pill mention#tw od mention
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
This may be a niche unpopular ‘What If’ situation of the Daddy Kink convo we all love and what it’s inspired, but What If Tommy couldn’t match Bucks passion?
Buck and Tommy were collapsed on the bed. Buck was very blissfully fucked the fuck out. He had gotten really into the “Daddy” roleplay and was enjoying this new sex life with Tommy. He had egged Tommy on to see how much harder Tommy could fuck him, and Buck wanted to see how much his own hole could handle now that he had been more comfortable bottoming more and more.
Tommy was pressing kisses to Bucks back and rubbing his back and Tommy was checking in asking “Was that good for you? Was that what you wanted? Are you okay?” and Buck was coming down from his high before he realized something was less than happy in Tommy’s tone.
Buck rolled around and quickly caught a small glance of Tommy frowning before he quickly turned it into a smile, but Buck could tell it was performative and there was something wrong in his eyes.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Evan softly inquired with concern as he caressed the strong jaw of his boyfriend.
“Nothing,” Tommy lied with a positive cadence, attempting to hide whatever it was he was keeping from Evan, which didn’t make Evan feel great inside.
“Did I do something wrong?” Evan asked cautiously, which made Tommy visibly wince. Tommy couldn’t stand the thought of Evan feeling like he did something wrong.
“No, baby, of course not, it’s nothing like that,” Tommy quickly tried to reassure his boyfriend, cradling his face and looking deep in his eyes to let him know Evan didn’t do anything to hurt him.
“Then can you please tell me what’s bothering you?” Evan asked softly, doing his best to gently coax Tommy out of his shell he was trying to mask his feelings within.
Tommy stayed quiet for a moment, not breaking eye contact with Evan, but Buck could see Tommy trying to process something on the other side of them.
“You know I respect you, right?,” Tommy said with a strong, assertive emphasis on ‘respect’. “I love you and I see you as an equal, and it’s important to me that you know that.”
“Of course,” Evan replied with growing concern. “Of course I know, babe. You’ve treated me phenomenally. This is by far the best relationship I’ve had. You make me feel comfortable in a way none of my exes ever had.”
Tommy kind of slowly nodded, but it seemed like he couldn’t fully process the words yet. Evan grabbed his hand and that seemed to catch Tommy’s attention and stop him from overthinking.
“Is this about the sex we just had?” Even asked cautiously.
Tommy hesitated for a while Bee letting out a small not and a soft ‘yeah’. “In the past, twinks and twunks only saw me as a big man who only existed to dom them and other men built like me only saw me as competition to keep them away from said twinks.
“I like topping, and yeah, getting hot and heavy even really passionate can be fun, but….”
Evan looked at his boyfriend with concern and sadness, feeling guilty he triggered something painful inside his man for his own fun. Be braced himself for what was about to come.
“Treating you like some…object or toy and fucking you harder than I should have really…made me feel kinda bad Inside….” Evan winced a little at the confession. He didn’t consider Tommy’s feelings just because he was topping and masculine and stronger than Buck. His boyfriend loved romcoms and romance and always treated him like a gentleman. The man said he would match Bucks pace, and Buck never realized it would be possible to out-pace him.
“But I know you were really into it and you kept saying ‘harder’, ‘faster’ and I know you’ve been hinting at getting more bold bottoming and I…You never used the safe words so I knew you were okay, but it was…Kinda hard to put you through that.”
“Tommy,” Evan said with regretful sadness. “I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t consider any of this and I feel awful I didn’t,” Evan apologized.
“Please, don’t apologize,” Tommy tried to quickly say. “This isn’t on you and I am not blaming you.”
“I know you’re not,” Evan countered. “But I am going to be sorry and apologetic anyways,” Buck said assertively. Tommy was more of a people pleaser then he let on. He made it hard for Buck to ever apologize for things because Tommy would never think Buck did anything wrong. It was endearing as much as it was an occasional obstacle.
“You told me you were okay with being called ‘daddy’ and I ran with it. I never checked what exactly that entailed and what your limits were and I just assumed you’d give all I wanted to take, which was wrong of me,” Buck said. “I got swept up in the appeal of dating a big strong man who was a sexy beast and I expected you to act like one, despite knowing you’re so much more than that.
“So, it’s important to me that you know that I see you as an equal. I love you and I respect you and you are more than my personal meaty manhandler,” Buck said with insistence.
Tommy laughed, but let out the first warm smile he did this whole conversation and it made Bucks heart so much lighter and release so much tension he didn’t know he was holding.
“I do,” Tommy said. “Thank you, Evan. I want to be the type of Daddy that takes care of his boy, not uses him like a toy. Would that be okay with you?”
“Of course it is,” Buck assured. “I know you’re sometimes worried about our age gap, but I don’t only not worry about it, but I’m also not only into you because of it. And if you’re ever feeling doubtful or uncomfortable, our safe words are for you too. Even if you’re the one topping. You deserve to use those too. Promise me you’ll use them when you need them.”
“I promise,” Tommy oathed. “Thank you, Evan. Next few times can we stick with moderately vanilla missionary, and cock riding? I like being able to see your face and kiss you when I need. I’ll be able to handle a few minutes of Doggy, if need be, I just want to…make love to you sometimes, not just fuck you, and Vice-Versa.”
“Of course,” Buck said, leaning in to kiss him deeply. “I’ll never say no to making love with you if that’s what you need.”
They held each other close and buried their faces into each others necks, massaged each others backs, and both enjoyed the comforting supportive embrace of the others’ love.
33 notes
·
View notes
Note
I was just curious about you and other followers and supporters of Taekook, how we’ve all felt about their relationship the further in we’ve gotten from the beginning of their enlistment. To put into context: despite Paris and T*ennie and everything, 2023 really did come close to convincing me 100% of Taekook, though most days I still tried to retain a healthy sense of skepticism about them.
These days though, we haven’t seen them in a while, so now I feel probably closer to 60-70% that they are SOMETHING more than friends. Like I almost ask myself each day, could they really be that? Isn’t that a little impossible? And if they are… can they manage to make it through this difficult period of extended separation? What would they even be like when they come out of the military?
It’s not like I’m having doubts, but it does just seem too good to be true the further away we get from seeing them in the present time.
I wonder if you or your other followers are feeling this way…
Hi anon!
My feelings and ideas about them haven’t changed. My expectations about seeing them together or hearing about them together during enlistment were very low even before they left last december. To me this is a period of time in which we will most likely get nothing to base our understanding of the current state of their relationship on. My state of mind going through this period is basically that I believe they were probably together before they enlisted, I am aware of the possibility of them not making it through this, but I have high hopes that they will. I think a possible breakup will be noticeable when BTS reunites.. and in the meantime all we can do is base our thoughts on whatever we might get to see.
I’ve seen comments about them having broken up because Tae hasn’t posted Jk yet and on them having not seen each other yet. To me those things mean nothing. Would it surprise me if Tae posted Jk at one point.. no, but at the same time I’m never expecting him to. Even last year, though it was a great Tkk year, we probably saw them together way less than they actually were. Just like all members probably saw each other more than we were aware of. They choose when to post about each other, they do not only post about each other when they actually meet. People will call me an idiot for this probably, but Jk doesn’t seem to want to be seen at the moment.. and I think all members would probably be aware of how the others want to be present in fandom right now.
It’s a hard time for those who like to have reassurances every now and then. Selfdoubt is a thing and it very often occurs when looking back at things. It does not surprise me that Tkk fandom has become a bit.. quiet lately. It is something we have to deal with though, because I truly think we won’t get much realtime Tkk for another year. Personally I’m not bothered much, because I always deal well with not knowing everything. I did not become a Tkkr without looking into things extensively first, and my ideas about everything I’ve seen have not changed. To me all the Tkkry from the past is still as valid as it was before enlistment.
I always kinda wonder about the ‘good to be true’ aspect I see sometimes (and I’m not wanting to be critical here, I just truly wonder), because to me that seems like people think Tae and Jk are this magical fairytale come to life. If we are correct about them I do feel we are seeing something unique, but to me it does not carry much of the magical fairytale. I think what we have spotted is the very cruel treatment of two boys/men in love. Sure, they are rich and famous and handsome and their love ia of the greatest kind, but a lot of the things we have spotted is actually signs of closeting, of two sensitive boys having to hide their feelings. While I do get the romantic side of seeing Tae and Jk together (obviously I do 🥰🥰🥰), I have at times thought that maybe if I were wrong about them it wouldn’t be a bad thing.. because that would mean that they didn’t go through some of the hard stuff I think they went through.
22 notes
·
View notes
Note
Re: age preferences in shared housing.
I'm in my mid-30's in a VHCOL city and have lived with anywhere from 2-7 roommates for my entire adult life. At this point in my life, I would prefer not to live with someone in their early 20's. It has nothing to do with age-gap discourse and everything to do with the fact that I am old, cranky, and tired.
I was not a good friend in my early 20's, and there was a lot of learning and growing that I would do over the next 15 years to make me a better person today. I have no problem having a coworker or friend who is in that life stage, but it is another thing entirely to have it follow you home. (I recognize that bad roommates come in all ages--I am talking about the specific learning experiences that come with living on your own for the first time, like the 23-year-old who did not understand that the city in fact WILL shut off your water if you buy weed with the money your roommates give you to pay the utilities.)
That being said, we don't list a specific age preference in our posting. We are far more likely to describe the current makeup of the house as "quiet, clean professionals in our early-to-late 30's, prefer dinner parties to house parties" and let people self-select out.
We had a very nice 22 year old guy interview a few years ago, and on paper he would have been a good fit (quiet, clean, stable job). However, he brought his mother to the roommate interview, and all of us kind of balked at that. We were not interested in living with his mother and had concerns about how he would handle conflict/communication without bringing his parents into it.
I would consider interviewing another candidate in their early 20's again, but not without reservations.
(Please do not read this as combative--we are typically on the same page about most things. I just wanted to offer another perspective from someone in a similar housing situation.)
I appreciate your perspective! And I think we're on the same page about this, too.
The key here, IMO, is what you said a few paragraphs up- it's not really about age, but behavior. Someone on their early 20s is statistically more likely to be in their Partying and Irresponsibility Phase, but it's not a guarantee. My worst problem housemate was 35 (expected everyone to cater to intrusive needs they had not expressed in the initial housemate interview and walk on eggshells around them; fell back on their trauma as an excuse when we politely tried to have open conversations about the issues at hand, as a house where everyone's wellbeing was taken into account). And I've lived with some extremely conscientious 22-year-olds. A few more tidy than I am, in fact.
Also, what I've seen more of is twentysomethings who don't want to live with anyone older, not the other way around. Which I'm struggling to interpret in any manner besides the discourse-adjacent Anyone Over 25 Having Contact With Anyone Under 25 Is Creepy. I guess they might be trying to be considerate if THEY want to party, but like I said, these groups are mostly more on the hipster queer student side.
33 notes
·
View notes
Text
So we all know that Stammi Vicino – Non Te Ne Andare is essentially Viktor’s cry for help in a world where he has neglected his personal life for twenty years, giving everything he has to his sport and becoming an untouchable god because of it. And the lyrics are so sad and I just want to talk about them and what I think is going on because I can’t get it out of my head.
I hear a voice weeping in the distance
Have you maybe been abandoned as well?
We start out with Viktor looking for this person who can understand how he feels, that same desperation for connection between the two of them. They are not united yet, but are able to come together because of their circumstances. Viktor, who has no family that we know of (or even friends outside of skating) is so utterly alone that this chance at having another soul who gets him has to be this horrible gnawing desire.
Come now, I'll quickly finish this glass of wine
I’ll start to get ready
Be quiet now
The glass of wine only confirms my thoughts about his loneliness, in my opinion – he has been sitting there alone, silently, enjoying this small pleasure with no company. And now he moves to join this distressed individual addressed at the beginning. There’s little comfort here beyond an attempt to silence their crying, it’s less of an established connection and more of an acknowledgement of similar circumstances. He can understand what it’s like to be sad and alone without feeling like there’ll be any change.
With a sword I wish I could cut those throats singing about love
I wish I could enclose in ice the hands that write those verses of burning passion
There’s some frustration here – Viktor is 27 years old when he skates Stammi Vicino. This is past the age where many people experience these passionate romances for the first time, finding a twin flame with which to go through life. Despite how much people adore him, how successful he has become, how admired he is… he cannot be loved because no one truly knows him. There’s so much media out there about people finding each other, these grand love affairs and lasting friendships that add so much depth to a person’s life. And he has nothing. It must be infuriating, to have so much and yet so little. And I think there might be something there with the “enclose in ice the hands that write those verses of burning passion” as well, with him reflecting on his own circumstances in comparison to these love stories. Why don’t they have to suffer the same fate as him, married to the ice? Why must his heart remain frozen and no one else’s?
This story that has no meaning
Will vanish tonight together with the stars
If I could see you, eternity will be born from hope
There is no meaning to his life, nor is there any meaning behind his connection with this other person. They do not know each other. This is fleeting, and temporary, and entirely impermanent… but god, he wants so badly. He knows he can’t have it but he wants to hope so much.
Stay close to me, don’t go away
I’m afraid of losing you
This hope has taken root in his soul. Despite the fact that he is so utterly alone and this individual who maybe can just barely begin to understand how he feels isn’t truly with him in any way that matters, he can’t bear the idea of giving up this tiny thing that is all he has left. This is a moment of pure vulnerability, the admission of just how scared he is. He is going through the motions, facing everything he has to entirely alone. Even a fragment of attention and care sets him alight, he cannot bear to lose anymore than he has already.
Your hands, your legs,
My hands, my legs,
And our heartbeats
Are blending together
Here he comes together with this person. I still don’t think it’s viewed as a bond that he believes in, but acceptance of potential and the fact that maybe they could have something together. He feels something intertwined in their souls, some semblance of similarity. And for him, that means a lot.
Let’s leave together
I’m ready now
The glass of wine has been put down, he has acknowledged his anger and frustration, and he is ready to move forward. There’s something for him, maybe, if he keeps looking. He can only hope.
Now. I could go on and talk about what the banquet meant to Viktor, and how this was maybe the first time he had wanted a person in his life this way, or I could just talk about the duetto … which is what I’m going to do.
So the duetto contains some pretty obvious lyric changes, namely the fact that the verses
With a sword I wish I could cut those throats singing about love
I wish I could enclose in ice the hands that write those verses of burning passion
This story that has no meaning
Will vanish tonight together with the stars
If I could see you, eternity will be born from hope
are removed. Hmmmmmmmm… all of the longing, none of the aggravation towards that sickly sweet romance? None of the denial that this could matter, the quiet desperation that maybe he might be allowed to hope for once? Because finally, after years of searching and waiting and quietly, so quietly, hoping – Viktor found someone who sees him. Who loves him, who wants him for who he is. They can stay close to each other, and neither of them will go away. Yuuri adds this color and warmth to his life that he had been looking for, and Viktor in turn has given Yuuri the chance to flourish and become the best version of himself, all the while having someone by his side who simply will not leave him. They are able to support each other in ways no one else can, and that is what makes their pair skate so beautiful.
#victor nikiforov#viktor nikiforov#yuri katsuki#yuuri katsuki#victuuri#yuri on ice#I wrote this instead of the paper I was supposed to be doing
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
To be continued
#ts3#sims 3#sims 3 story#sims stories#tteot story#eloise simson#tristan de lalaing#hugo de lalaing#risa parsons#i'm a bit sad for risa but at the same time...#i couldn't imagine any other death for her#dead by supernatural forces#for someone who represented the epitome of the ordinary girl#and who wanted nothing more than a quiet life#she's always attracted the extraordinary#i don't think she was entirely suited to the normalcy she so desired#maybe she would have been a good suit for nate#we will never know#and yes hugo fucked up big time#you may remember his strange telepathic connection with his half-sister#laurie arc
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Feeling the ace-solation tonight.
#asexual#aromantic even#it just feels like the whole world looks at marriage and kids as endgame and holy fuck no#people only ever focus on who is dating who and when are you having kids and when are you getting married#like what the fuck#im over here thinking about how much time i can mash together seeing friends#and what books i want to read and bring me joy#and always thinking about these fictional worlds that have brought me so much more happiness than this one#like you belong somewhere else#like what do you do when you know nothing is wrong with you but sure as hell know others would think there is if they KNEW you#in all your ace or aro or whatever else glory#i just want quiet and peace without this looming feeling of people looking at you like youre supposed to be doing more#like you're in some fucked up timeline of having to achieve these life goals that sure as fuck arent yours#like please leave me tf alone#make the norm be however you get your happiness is the goal#the feels are real tonight#an untethered feeling of floating away or something#dont mind me im going back to my asmr videos#these tags are a mess rn
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
current mood:
#it's about people who have gone through events that are uncannily similar but have dealt it both the events and the aftermath in#drastically different ways. one of them was surrounded by people who didn't look and sometimes didn't act the part but ultimately meant#only well and the other only had one person who cared about him near him and not even that person was in a good enough place to give him#that sort of empowerment‚ the strength to try and fight against impossible odds and an inescapable situation#and i've seen takes (don't remember where) that state that rai is ultimately so much stronger than v because he managed to free himself#from the shackles of his assigned fate whereas v 'failed' to do so but like... i believe that v is equally as strong for just... existing.#and maybe the world would've been better off if he had died as soon as he learned the truth but he lived because he wanted to see a better#world and believed that him being stripped of his identity was a small price to pay for a better world but what makes him even stronger in#my eyes is the fact that he KEPT LIVING even when he realized that there was no way to make things better from his position as much as he#wanted to and when he saw that everything was going to hell and that he was doomed to just... stay there and be trapped and be forced to#work for ideas that directly oppose his own#and DESPITE ALL OF IT‚ HE KEPT HIMSELF ALIVE (until nato called and said ''hey bibo if you don't respond to the allegations we will nuke#your house'' (referring to V's OH) and bibo just. did not answer. and threw v under the bus and let him die like he was nothing#like i need you to understand this man has the mental resolve of joy herself but you aren't ready for that talk#look point is i think that if they were to ever meet rai would initially not like v at all and couldn't exactly pinpoint why he doesn't#like him - he's polite‚ relatively kind‚ a bit sassy at times‚ and really quiet‚ which in a way mirrors his own mannerisms - so he has no#clue as to why he /doesn't like him at all/ (and of course rai being rai would be polite in turn but he'd never be earnestly amiable)#UNTIL one of them tries to start a conversation about more mundane topics like music or movies and as they exchange opinions rai realizes#that he really doesn't have to bother with the whole thing about resolve and determination to pursue your own goals and differences in#ideologies and that he can just talk to this guy as if he were one of his friends from nyc from back when life was relatively normal#(aka before big shell and when the memories of his past were artificially surpressed HMM PARALLELS YES)#in conclusion v is less anti-raiden and more the second coming of joy and also the two of them would (eventually) be friends and talk about#film and music. rai would absolutely DIG some of the 80's stuff v listens to. thank you for joining me on yet another episode of 'insanity#with fionna'#zeta gear tag#i wrote a lot here and i've made some good points so in the tag it goes
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have no idea if I am upset or not bc I simply am not that in tune with my emotions rn but like man. It’s gonna be weird
#like I won’t feel like if I want some quiet time then I have to hide out in my room#and I won’t have to hear republican news all day everyday#but also. that is my mother. and like there’s nothing I do with her because we have nothing in common#but also I would still talk to her. she was on my nerves more often than not but that’s just because she and I aren’t fit to live together#we were meant to live apart and then we can get along#but I don’t know that she’ll ever speak to me again after today. i don’t need her to live with me#in fact I’d prefer she didn’t. but that doesn’t mean I want her out of my life#now my dad wants me to take a weekend off to go to Maine with him. and it’s like. i have work. but also Idk that I feel like doing that#when I was depressed in middle school and hated everyone my mother was the one who I talked to. and she wasn’t particularly helpful#and never thought to get me help and she was miserable herself so we were just collectively miserable I definitely said my fair share of#hurtful things. because I know my misery stemmed from my parents and I told her I wanted to leave and I didnt think I ever wanted to be back#and I know she still remembers bc she’s commented on it within the last several months. she never forgets. just stews on things#apparently she’s still stewing on things from when I was 4#her leaving today was incredibly immature and she said some very hurtful things#and like I do this it’s best she moves out! and I hope in time she can realize the way she did it was wrong#i just wouldn’t be surprised if she became a stranger to me#I don’t know if I’ll see her on Christmas or my birthday or any other day#soup talks
8 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
leahdarling
i don’t need tender mercy
lilbowika
Lil Bowika
the-forgotten-garden
A Garden of Images
burning-brains
Don't have to say anything