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#and while I can’t say much for his team yet (I just finished the premiere) I think they’re interesting
quibbs126 · 1 year
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Optimus Primal should be in more Transformers shows
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Interviews - Henry Cavill x wife/actress reader
Summary: You and Henry have been married for a couple years now, and when you’re both part of the Witcher cast, fun interviews are to be had.
Warning: nothing but a good time, btw I’ve never written anything like this so I hope it’s good enough that I might feel motivated to write more
-Readers Witcher character is loosely based off my Geralt fic from here (just a little self promotion), but in this case you play a full vampire in this Witcher universe
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The days have been long and grueling, filming hours upon hours of stunts and regular acting had taken its toll. Not to mention the countless times in hair and make up paired with costume changes and traveling to film on certain locations.
To say being apart of Netflix’s The Witcher was full of tiring days and some accidental bruises would be a huge understatement. But none of that mattered, nor did you bother to complain when through the thick and thin of it all did you have Henry with you along the way. And your favorite big slobbery bear, Kal whenever he was allowed on set.
Fortunately for you in the beginning of all the craziness, the casting and writers had wanted you specifically for the part of Y/C/N in the new series before Henry even auditioned for the role of Geralt, that was soon given to him after you accepted your fresh role of vampiric heroine.
It was ironically strange in a good way, you had watched your dork of a husband play the Witcher: Wild Hunt a few times before, eventually learning of what Geralt of Rivia was, who Y/C/N was in the story, who Yennefer and Ciri were, Tris and even Jaskier.
Who would have thought that you’d finally get to snag a role side by side with Henry in quite literally one of the most fantastic shows you’ve ever heard of. You didn’t even need to see the show yet to know how well it was most likely to be reviewed. Being a key character in the grand storyline was enough to convince you of how amazing it would most certainly turn out in the finished product.
And after all was said and done, you couldn’t believe how well loved and popular the show truly became in the following months after shooting and its eventual release onto Netflix. The after parties and cast celebrations truly made you blessedly grateful for pulling through to the vary end.
Then again you had your mans Henry by your side every step of the way. He was your rock and you were most definitely his. You know life on set would have been far less entertaining and dreadfully long if not for the lovely company of your dear Witcher, Henry. And so far after the fact, you and a good portion of the cast have been placed in random interviews for the majority of the day.
Reason being, The Witcher has at long last finally premiered and as per usual the people and media live for those cast interviews that always reveal some interesting events. So far this morning you’ve done some interviews with Anya that have gone perfectly fine since the two of you seem to click so well.
Also it helps ease the anxiety of your fellow newer cast mates to the world of continuous interviews with an experienced veteran actor like yourself, who’s gone round the ring more times then you can count. Though you can’t help but wonder how Henry’s doing, considering you’ve been separated since the sessions began at 10am, you’ve had lunch and now it’s about 1 in the afternoon with more hours to go.
Luckily for you, you’ve just been informed of another interview with the man of the hour himself. Saying your goodbyes and well wishes to your fellow cast mates, you stand and follow the guide into the advised place. Aka some really nice hotel room that’s been done up real nice for efficient interviewing, complete with the Witcher insignia on a large background poster and three chairs that happen to look rather comfy.
The camera and sound people nod in acknowledgment as you walk in, you nod back no doubt making their day with your friendliness and adorable smile that quite literally lights up a room. Soon you spot the bubbly yet nervous interviewee who instantly welcomes you into her space like you’re an old friend.
You sit, a bit confused as to where your partner happens to be at the moment, the interviewer, Lauren makes small talk before a door opens and her big bright doe eyes go wide in nervous excitement. A telling smile upon her face as she shifts in her chair before looking back to you again with a happy grin.
Henry says a quick hello to the behind the scenes crew before waving to Lauren, you smirk while watching him get comfortable next to you, “Well, well, well. Get lost on your way up, you know they have guides for a reason.” You tease as he chuckles at your humorous jab, relieved to see you again after a couple hours apart.
“Traffic.” He quips with a shrug.
“Uh huh.” You mutter with a shake of your head before drawing your attention back to Laura, “Can’t take him anywhere I swear, he does this all the time.”
She laughs as Henry pretends to gasp at your teasing, you chuckle along with them before she finally collects herself, “Well, welcome back to London. It’s fantastic to have you both in town once again, and your big beautiful faces all over Leicester Square.”
You both laugh, “Right.” Says Henry, “I guess we do look pretty cool.”
“Hell yeah, I mean where else can I see myself with a giant sword on a building? And anyways look at this beautiful mug,” You say gently squeezing Henry’s cheeks in your hand, “he’s literally killing it out there.” They laugh as you give Hen another playful squeeze before letting go and setting your arm against the chairs cushioned armrest. 
“Alight let’s start.” She says enthusiastically before glancing down at her cards then back up to you and Henry. Then into one of the two the cameras, “Hi I’m Lauren from Entertainment Weekly and today we’re here with the two stars of Netflix’s The Witcher.” She says enthusiastically while giving a nod to you two, indicating that the camera is now focused on you both, “Henry Cavill and Y/N Cavill.”
You both smile in acknowledgment as Henry gives a slight nod, “How you doing?”
“I’m great,” She beams, “So, I’ll get right into it, what do you like most about the story? What really drew you into the script that made you say, yes this is going to be awesome?”
Slapping a hand against Henry’s muscular leg, you hum, “I’ll let Hen take this one he’s a real expert on the linguistics of the whole show.”
“Thanks Y/N/N.” Replies Henry, bemused that you’re making him take the first question.
You nod to him knowingly with a smirk, “Of course.” Knowing how much he loves to talk about the show and also because you’d rather have him use his energy to talk about it then do that yourself. Priorities, right, though in your defense it’s been a long day.
“Well I absolutely love the games and the books themselves are phenomenal works of literature.” He explains, his face glowing with that usual glimmer of excitement in his eyes, “The story and the world of the Witcher is just so rich and full of potential that when I signed on for the show, I immediately knew it would be amazing, no doubt.”
You lean into the arm of you chair, “And of course I was there so that’s always a bonus.”
“That too.” He smiles adorably, “That too of course.”
Lauren smiles, “Great. So, what was it like working together, how was it having your characters interact with one another?”
You smile, setting a hand against Henry’s forearm, “This guy right here.” You deadpan before waving him off dramatically, “So annoying, my god he whined all the time and he was such a drama queen dear lord so ugh....” You start cackling before you can even finish the sentence causing Henry to loose it as well and with that the interviewer.
Shaking your head you rest your hand against his shoulder, “I joke, he was a gem to work with as usual...I mean I feel incredibly blessed to be able to act alongside my husband for months and months every single day. It’s a rarity in this line of work and I’m grateful to have shared this experience...and I guess more so this whole adventure with him as well.”
The interviewer aww’s as Henry tilts his head to lean into your hand that’s still resting atop his shoulder before pulling away just as quickly, the intimate sentiment not going unnoticed by you or Lauren who looks to be enjoying your loving yet calm energy with one another. “That’s so sweet, what about you Henry?”
“Oh yes absolutely,” Agrees Henry to your recent statement, “not only did I have her by my side through it all but the dynamic of our characters interacting together was so fun to shoot. I think the audience will really be able to see their relationship grow on screen into something strong and beautiful like in the books.”
Slow clapping you give him a curt nod of approval, “Well said.”
Lauren smirks, “Seems like it. Well, I was able to catch the premier yesterday and I gotta say...it was fantastic! I couldn’t believe how diffident the two of you looked from how you are now.” She gushes enthusiastically.
The corners of Henry’s lips curl into a proud smile for the fellow crew of the Witcher’s, “Oh that’s great then, honestly we gotta give all the props to the costume and makeup team, they’re so talented and know how to make us look like real badasses.” He adds.
You nod in agreement before grinning at a positive memory of your first interaction with Henry as Geralt, “Oh for sure, I remember during the early stages of production when our characters met each other for the first time, before this we came to set together but went separate ways to shoot our own stuff in the meantime so I never got a real look at him.” You recall with a bright smile as Henry watches your every move, beaming just the same.
“It was so funny, I was in the tent with Freya Allen, the wonderful girl who plays Ciri, and then suddenly her eyes got all big and nervous and I was like, that’s not me right? Something weird didn’t just happen with my costume? And then I turned around to find this man, wig on, face a mess, and his eyes looked so fearsome and different...it was a bit startling.” You say with a chuckle, “I clearly wasn’t expecting to see Geralt right then and there. He just looked so unlike Henry.”
“Yeah, I was almost hurt.” Laughs Henry, “She had to like squint and make sure it was me.”
Rolling your eyes, you shrug, “He had some real creepy looking colored contacts, yunno?”
Henry fake scoffs, “You’re one to talk, I mean when I first say her, Y/N’s eyes were red and she had fake blood spattered all over her face and shirt. Oh, and not to mention those fangs they put on your teeth...we probably traumatized poor Freya that day.”
“Oh shit you’re right!” You exclaim with a snort of concealed laughter, “God I completely forgot about how I looked...now since I think about it, I did that a lot too. I would just walk up to people and be completely oblivious as to what kind of nightmare I looked like, honestly I might have scared one of our producers a couple of times.” You add with a half nervous laugh, it’s true, you did scare some of the crew unintentionally. Most of the time.
Lauren lightly chuckles, “That sounds like you were quite the sight to see then.” She says before glancing back down at her notes, “Alright I have’ta ask, is there anything that you two took home with you from set?”
“Besides Henry every night,” He holds back a laugh while covering his mouth as you nonchalantly continue, “Uh, yes actually I got to take home Y/C/N’s wolf ring that I loved so much and just thought was the coolist thing ever and....uh, I might have stolen some socks too.”
“So that’s why after filming the amount of socks of yours I had to fold increased?” Wonders Henry with a surprised snort of realization.
Turning your head to give him a “no shit” kinda look, you look back at Lauren, pointing your thumb at Henry, “Master sleuth right here, but hey, he folds my laundry.”
“Aw that’s great.” Adds Lauren with a smile before turning her attention to Henry, “What about you Henry? Take anything from set?”
“More then Y/N did actually...”
“He just about took the whole makeup trailer most nights, I swear.”
Henry chuckles, “That. Is true.” He agrees with a nod, “Interesting enough, at home I’ve got Geralt’s armor hung up in our living room and a multitude of other nicknacks that I’ve collected during filming.” He adds, glancing over to you, “So uh, yeah, we were fairly lucky to be able to snag what we could.”
Lauren smiles, absentmindedly shuffling her cards, “That’s awesome to have such special memorabilia, you guys really are fortunate.” She adds before reading off from another card, “Alright you two, care to play a game called guess the image? Witcher style.”
Your face perks up at this, you’re a sucker for interview games and Henry knows it, “Are you reading my mind or something, I have been waiting all day for someone to ask about playing a game.” You gush rather enthusiastically. 
He smiles at your adorableness and how excited you’ve just become, Lauren grins, happy that her suggestion has been so well received, “Okay so how it works is, I’ll show you an image on my iPad and then you have to guess who or what I’m showing you.”
“Oh, cool I’ve heard of this,” You reply, turning to Henry with a smirk, “Loser has to clean Kal’s yard poop for a week.”
Rolling his gorgeous blue eyes he chuckles, “You’re on.”
“Alright, the stakes are high, you two ready?” Beams Lauren, holding her iPad to her chest as she awaits an answer.
“Yes, I’m ready to kick his ass.” You quip, leaning an arm against your chair while Henry does about the same, though he does his best to contain his laughter.
“Okay, first image.” She holds up the device to show some sort of weird golden thing, it’s shiny and hard, worst part is that you’re not entirely sure what the hell it could be.
Sensing your confusion Henry nudges your shoulder, though you ignore it before he smartly answers, “Oh, is that...Renfri’s brooch?” Little shit knows exactly what that is, of course he does.
Lauren claps, “Correct.” Zooming out of the image to show the full picture of the golden brooch, “Right on, that’s one point for Mr. Cavill.”
You scoff playfully, “Beginners luck.” While Henry side eyes you with a humorous grin upon his plush lips, he nudges your arm, “I’m going to really enjoy not cleaning up Kal’s grass turds for awhile.” He mutters lightheartedly, though you know deep down he’s being serious, no way is he going to win this, you think. You won’t have it, hopefully the next few pictures aren’t as difficult, Kal duty is not fun by any means.
“Shut up.” You grumble with a dismissive wave of your hand, though just teasing of course.
“Okay next image.” This time the blurred photo looks much more familiar, soon it clicks as to what the obscured blurriness actually is, yes!
“Got it! Anya’s er I guess Yennefer’s dress from the fight at Sodden.” Lauren giggles, zooming the image out to reveal Yennefer in her tasseled blue and purple dress from the battle at Sodden Hill. “I’m amazing I know.” You boast at Henry with a casual little bow in your seat.
“It’s the second question.” He deadpans, eyes crinkling in amusement as you shake your head at him.
“Pffff get outta here.” You mutter back, gently pushing his arm off of your chairs armrest and setting yours in its place while he gives you a fake shocked expression.
In turn you can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of your lips, so instead of saying some sassy remark that would no doubt get a reaction out of him, you turn your attention back over to Lauren who’s looking over her notes again.
“Fantastic,” She says, glancing back up at you and Henry, “you’re both tied with one point each. Alright, anyone know what this is?” She asks showing something red and fuzzy, a bit of dirty skin showing from one corner but with The Witcher this bloody image could literally be anything.
The both of you squint, puzzled as to what this could be, “Y/N you got any ideas.” Wonders Henry, brows furrowed as his face contorts into deep concentrated thought.
Raising a brow, you hum, “If I knew I wouldn’t tell you.”
“Fair point.” He chuckles.
Lauren smiles, “Any guesses?”
 After a few concentrated moments, Henry shrugs in defeat,  “I’m stumped.” He admits as you study the image harder, mind racing to put the pieces together as to what the hell you’re looking at.
“No, I think I might know this....erm is it...me?” You wonder, voice raising in question, hoping to be correct about this or face the teasing of Henry.
Lauren quickly zooms out of the obscured image, “It is!” She says excitedly, revealing the picture of you from your characters debut in episode 2 where you save a girl from a werewolf, your mouth is covered in blood and so is most of your costumes chest area and left arm from the struggle. Not to mention the make-up teams fun 20 minutes of throwing fake sticky blood all over you to get the right look for the taxing scene.
You grimace a bit, “Oh god that was quite the day on set,” You recall with a half smile, “I was doing stunts all day covered in that red syrupy dye, I think it took a week to get out of my skin.”
Henry suddenly snorts with laughter, “Right! That reminds me, I thought Kal had gotten cut or something, it was just Y/N who had hugged him not realizing she still had some fake blood on her arm.”
“Jeez that’s right, I felt so bad, but I couldn’t stop laughing once we realized it was just me.”
Lauren grins, excited to hear some hidden information about little things that happens behind the scenes, “Oh wow that must have been a sight, alright Henry, Y/N’s taken the lead with a two to one score.” She says as you playfully nudge his strong shoulder. “Second to last image, what is this?”
Without missing a single beat Henry replies, “Jaskier.”
Squinting at the image you lean closer to the iPad, “How the hell do you see Jaskier?”
Smiling the interviewer zooms out to reveal the bards full outfit from the banquet scene, though he’s in the background of a fight between Geralt and some Cintran knights. “Right on!” She exclaims as you lean back into your seat dumbfounded, shoulder flush against Henry’s as he clutches your arm and squeezes it affectionately.
Ignoring his silent show of victory you shrug, “And they say he’s just another pretty face,” Earning a laugh from Lauren and some of the crew as you smirk at the camera, face them shifting to apologetic, “also I’m so sorry Joey you beautiful bastard apparently I’m blind. Uh, we don’t have to dwell on it, Lauren whatcha got?”
“You guys are both tied with two points each, last chance to win.” She replies before glancing down at her iPad, “Alright, what is this?” She asks, her iPad showing that of fuzzy bright colors, with a small corner smear of dull white that clearly wouldn’t make much sense to the untrained eye.
Smirking you glance at a puzzled Henry before sitting up in your seat, feeling rather good about yourself, “Would that happen to be, Hen in Stregobor’s illusion?” You answer with, though sounding a bit as a question considering you aren’t entirely confident as to what image this is.
Lauren’s brows raise in surprise, “Henry, looks like we have a winner. Y/N you are correct.” She beams, enlarging the image to reveal Geralt’s side profile as he talks to the old wizard while the background stays colorful and shrouded in various arrays of sunlight..
Shaking your fist victoriously in the air you give a couple enthusiastic whoop whoops while Henry simply takes it like a champ, “Have fun cleaning up Karl’s monster turds, cause this lucky lady doesn’t have to.” You boast as Henry and the crew laugh.
“Well that was something,” Beams Lauren, “I’m so glad to have chatted for a bit about your guys’ amazing new series, and maybe ended a relationship in the process.” She says jokingly as both you and Henry chuckle.
Patting his thigh affectionately, you smirk, “He’s a tough old bear, but yeah, it was awesome having you talk to us.”
“Yes, take care now.” Adds Henry while the interviewer Lauren stands, saying her goodbyes as she goes to exit the room.
The camera crew take a small break to adjust things and whatnot as you and Henry wait patiently for the next interviewer. He turns, an adorable smile pulling at his lips while you pretend to ignore his fiery gaze. “Well that went pretty well, minus the fact that I’m on Kal poop duty for a week...but uh...” He leans in close to you now, “I missed you all morning.”
Breaking out into a smile you raise a brow, “Boring without me huh?”
“Always.”
You casually shrug, “I figured as much. Don’t worry, we have a hotel all to ourselves tonight.” Your brows wiggle suggestively causing your blue eyed lover to shake his head with amusement.
“Say it louder next time.” He jokes.
Side eyeing the oblivious crew you begin to speak a couple octaves louder, “Henry I can’t wait to fu..” Suddenly his hand presses against your mouth before you’re able to call any attention to yourself. He gives you a warning look before slowly pulling his hand from your mouth.
You grin mischievously, “I wasn’t gonna say that...”
“Sure Y/N,” He mutters in your ear as a new interviewer walks into the room and finds their chair, “and I’m wasn’t going to make you scream tonight.”
Your brows raise in surprise and admittedly slight arousal at his choice of wording in this room of all places. Eyeing him up, face still showing surprise, you finally break out into a satisfied smirk. “You know what? I think you should consider changing your offer.”
He thinks deeply for a moment, though you know he’s only pretending to get you riled up, “Hrmm...maybe, possibly, should I? Should we? You are my co-star after all, that wouldn’t be very professional now would it Y/N?” He states with a shit eating grin, all done while the crew and interviewer get ready, minding their business and completely unaware to yourself and Henry’s teasing.
Scoffing playfully you lightly swat his arm, “We are way past being professional.”
He chuckles, looking from you to the rest of the room, “Oh, they have no idea.”
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jenstar1992-2 · 3 years
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Here with You
Pairing: Echo x reader/ Hunter x reader
Warnings: Mentions of nightmares/ trauma, reliving a traumatic experience, Order 66 (because it’s a warning in itself)
Word count: 7,103
A/N: Well, I knew it, it hasn’t been a whole day since I saw the Bad Batch premiere, and I’ve already gotten my first writing idea (yes, this took me like two days to write because I kept getting interrupted). I just couldn’t get the image of my poor baby Echo in that med bay and seeing the trauma those damned Separatists caused him out of my head. All I want to do is hold him and never let go, he deserves the world. This was originally just going to be an Echo x reader, but it turned into a Hunter x reader as well, because I just couldn’t help myself, I love them both, and wanted both of them to get some lovins. Also, I get the sense that Omega is a smart kid, and that she’s pretty well spoken, so I tried to write her as such, while still keeping that childlike innocence, so hopefully it comes across that way.
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So much had transpired within the last few days and you were still trying to wrap your head around all of it. The jedi had been almost entirely wiped out in a single day, and while you were certain their had to be other survivors besides yourself, you were unclear as to what that number was. Luckily for you, you had been amongst friends when Order 66 was given, and your men turned on you. If it weren’t for the Bad Batch, you were certain you wouldn’t be alive right now.
As you sat in the cockpit of the Marauder, the memories began to flood your brain, which caused involuntary tears to fill your eyes.
You and your men had been sent to Kaller to aid Master Billaba and her troops. However, upon your arrival, you were greeted with a pleasant surprise. It turned out, Clone Force 99 had been on planet already and had taken out a large amount of the droids before you even landed.
You had worked with this group before and had even enjoyed the experience. While your men thought their tactics and unprofessional antics were unnecessary and even a bit annoying, you found the group to be, for lack of a better term, fun. You had been around stuffy, uptight individuals for so long, it was nice to have a change of pace, and while your men were great, they tended to be sticklers for the rules and rarely wanted to take risks.
You also got along with this team rather well, enough to consider them good friends, but you were especially close with their newest recruit. You and Echo had known each other well before he joined the Bad Batch, even before his accident at the citadel, and had been friends for just as long, although as time went by and you found yourself encountering him more and more in your life, you slowly realized you might feel more for the trooper than you should, more than you’d ever admit aloud. So, when you’d heard of his survival and rescue, you had been elated, and that happiness resurfaced at the thought of seeing him again.
You exited the gunship and saw the rag-tag group of clones speaking with Master Billaba on the now quiet battlefield. They turned as you and your men made your approach. As you got closer to the group, you scanned the faces of its members before you found him, smiling brightly as your eyes connected, he did the same.
You came to stand before their leader, raising your gaze to meet the man’s unwavering stare.
“Sergeant”, you greeted him, extending a hand formally, which he took without hesitation, shaking it firmly.
“General, good to see you again”, he said with a smile.
“You too”, you responded.
You’d always liked Hunter, from the beginning he’d always struck you as a respectable man, and you admired the fact that he could allow his men to be their reckless selves while also keeping them in line, but only when necessary, it seemed. There was something else too, something you hadn’t noticed right away, but after a few more encounters with the man, you put it together, coming to an all to familiar realization, one that brought butterflies to your stomach, while also bringing about a slight anxiety. How could you let this happen, it was bad enough falling for one man you couldn’t have, but two, you were sure the universe was out to hurt you.
“General (L/N), I’m glad to see your trip was a safe one, and better late than never I suppose”, Depa said, drawing you from Hunter’s gaze to hers.
“Sorry Master Billaba, we were assisting Masters Luminara and Yoda on Kashyyyk when we got word of your need for reinforcements, we got here as soon as we could”, you said, then looking around at the desolated droids scattered across the landscape. “Although, from what I can tell, you seem to now have a handle on things.”
“Yeah, thanks to these guys”, Caleb, Depa’s padawan, exclaimed, gesturing to the group of men before you. “You should’ve seen it, they took all those droids out in a matter of minutes, it was incredible.”
You chuckled. “Yes, I’m well aware of the marvel that is Clone Force 99, and they do put on quite the show”, you said, shooting a quick glance Echo’s way. “Incredible indeed.”
Your words caused the trooper to smile shyly at you.
“Yes, well, we’re still glad you’re here, we just launched a counterattack, and the more assistance, the better”, Depa said.
You nodded. “You need us, we’ll stay”, you said before turning to your troops. “Men, a counterattack has been launched, I want you to rendezvous with Master Billaba’s troops and aid in the attack, Commander Roran, you’re with me. Let’s move!”
With that your troops dispersed, leaving you and your commander where you stood. You turned back to face everyone.
“So, how can we help”, you asked.
“Actually, I don’t think we’ll be needing your assistance after all, in fact, this war might soon be over”, Tech spoke up, causing you to give him a confused look.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, according to the encrypted comm chatter, Jedi General Obi-Wan Kenobi has found and engaged General Grievous on Utapau”, he responded.
“If he captures, or kills Grievous, the separatist command structure will collapse”, Echo chimed in.
“And most likely the droid armies along with them”, Tech finished.
“It can’t be that easy, can it”, you asked, looking to the jedi master.
“While it is an interesting theory, I would not bet our hopes on it, we should focus on the task at hand”, she replied.
“I agree, we should focus our energy on this attack, strike while we have the advantage”, you said.
Hunter nodded. “Any orders, or shall we do what we do”, he asked, directing his words at Depa.
“What do you think General, should we let them ‘do what they do’”, she asked you.
You chuckled and folded your arms over your chest. “Probably our best bet, what do you think Caleb”, you asked the padawan.
“I say we let them, but only if I can go with them”, he responded.
You looked to his master, raising an eyebrow in question.
“Very well”, she said, giving the boy permission.
“Ronan and I will tag along too”, you stated, then looking to Hunter. “Just in case you guys need a hand.”
“Hope that wasn’t a jab at me”, Echo said, coming to stand beside you while simultaneously lifting his cybernetic arm.
You immediately regretted your choice in words and stammered your defense.
“N- no, I didn’t mean, I would never.”
He let out an amused laugh. “I’m just messing with you General, sorry”, he said.
You then scowled at him before poking a finger at his chest plate.
“Not funny”, you said, but couldn’t keep the smile from forming on your face.
“I said I was sorry”, you heard him say as you began walking in the direction your troops had gone. He soon caught up and walked alongside you.
You chuckled. “Well, it’s nice to know you haven’t lost your sense of humor.”
“Nah, but I did lose a couple other things”, he said, face turning slightly serious.
You stopped walking and just stood for a moment, a sad expression now adorning your features. Noticing your actions, Echo ceased his movements as well and looked back to you.
“What is it”, he asked.
You went to stand in front of him before you spoke your next words. “Echo, I am sorry for your loss, truly I am, but honestly, I’d rather you be here and missing a few limbs, then for you to not be here at all. I’m just glad your alive, and that I get to see you again.”
He stared at you for a moment with an unreadable expression before smiling and nodding.
“I guess you’re right, and I’m glad our paths crossed again, I…”, he began, clearly wanting to say more, but stopping himself. You caught on though and decided to voice it for him.
“I missed you too”, you said, giving him a warm smile, prompting one of his own.
You both began walking once more to catch up with your comrades.
“You know, I was actually surprised you recognized me, what with the countless differences and all” he said with a chuckle.
You shook your head. “You can change all you want, I’ll still know it’s you”, you said.
“Yeah?”
“Yep, you might’ve changed a lot on the outside, but inside, you’re still the same Echo I’ve always known and loved”, you said, saying the words before they fully registered with your brain, but once they did you nearly froze in your stacks, your face instantly reddening with embarrassment. You quickly tried to back track before he could respond. “I mean, uh, well, y- you know what I mean.” Smooth.
He chuckled, amused at your obvious embarrassment of your less-than-ideal choice of words yet again.
“It’s okay, I know what you mean”, he said, giving you a reassuring smile before seemingly letting the subject drop, much to your relief.
You nodded as you carried on toward the others.
Suddenly, a wave of emotions flooded your mind, and it was as if hundreds of voices were crying out within the confines of your skull. You stopped, placing a hand to the side of your head in an attempt to stop the dizziness that accompanied the voices.
Echo noticed and came to your side, placing a steadying hand to your back.
“Are you okay”, he asked, clearly concerned.
“S- somethings wrong, I feel… death, so much death, I don’t know…”, you began through heavy breathes, but you were soon cut off by the sound of blaster fire.
You both looked to see Master Billaba’s men attempting to gun her down as she deflected their blasts with her lightsaber. Before you could fully process the sight in front of you, you heard Caleb yell for his master, seeing him rush past you, saber ignited and ready to jump to her aid.
“Caleb, no…”, you shouted, but before you could run after him a burning pain in your left arm stopped you.
You grabbed your now wounded arm and turned to see Roran facing you, blaster raised and aimed directly at you.
“Commander”, you said in confusion, but before you could get another word out, he was firing again. You were able to deflect the blasts with your saber, yelling at him as you did so. “Roran, why are you doing this?”
Suddenly, the blasts stopped as Echo came to your aid, wrestling the blaster out of the commander’s hands before knocking him out cold. He then rushed to your side once more, seeing you kneeling and clutching your head.
“General, (Y/N), (Y/N), can you hear me? Say something”, he urged, but try as you might, you couldn’t form the words to respond.
Your head was swimming in a sea of pain, death, and betrayal, most of which you were certain weren’t coming from you, more like from the force itself. You’d felt disturbances in the force before, but none like this, it was all encompassing and soon you found yourself slipping from consciousness from the intensity of it all.
***
When you finally came to, you found yourself laying in a bunk aboard the Havoc Marauder. When you tried to sit up a hand caught your shoulder and gently coaxed you back down.
“Easy (Y/N), you don’t want to push yourself, you sustained a pretty bad injury, you should rest”, a familiar voice said softly.
“Echo, what, what happened… they turned on us, why would they do that”, you asked, looking at him with confusion and sadness mixing in your expression.
“I don’t know, we’re still trying to figure that out ourselves, but you’re safe now, I won’t let them hurt you again, you have my word. Now rest”, he said, trying to comfort you, but knowing it wouldn’t help much given what you’d just been through.
“No”, you heard someone say, the volume of it startling you slightly, and you looked to see that it was Hunter, who had just entered.
“What do you mean ‘no’”, Echo asked him, confused.
“I mean, she can’t stay here, it’s not safe”, he explained, and when you both gave him a befuddled look, he continued, “It’s Crosshair, there’s… something wrong with him. I think whatever happened to those soldiers is happening to him too, but I can’t be sure.”
“What makes you think that”, you questioned, finally sitting up and turning to place your feet on the floor.
He looked behind him, making sure you three were the only ones in ear shot before bending down to your level.
“He tried to kill that padawan”, he said, so low it was almost a whisper.
“Caleb, is he alright”, you asked, fear and concern thick in your voice.
“He’s alive, but other than that, I’m not sure. He ran off after…”, he began, but the words died on his lips.
You nodded in understanding. “So, what should I do, where should I go?”
“Stay here, on Kaller, find somewhere to hide. We’ll go back to Kamino and sort this out, once it’s safe, we’ll come back for you”, he said.
You nodded, agreeing to do as he said, knowing you really had no other option at this point.
Shortly after this conversation you readied yourself to leave, Tech giving you some medical supplies in case you would need to re-bandage your arm before they returned.
Echo ended up accompanying you in your search for shelter, telling the others he wasn’t going anywhere until he knew you’d found somewhere safe to stay. You had resisted the gesture, wanting him to get as far away from danger as possible, but he insisted.
You found a cave a few miles from the ship’s current location and decided it was as good a place as any to crash for, what you were hoping would only be, a few days.
“You sure you’re going to be okay here”, Echo asked, looking into the cold, dark cave.
“I’ll be fine, I’ve stayed in worse places. Besides, it’s the safest place we’ll find in the wilderness, and it’s dark, perfect for hiding”, you said in a poor attempt to lighten the mood, you didn’t know why, force of habit you guessed. Although, all this earned you was a sad smile from the trooper.
“We’ll be back soon, just stay out of sight until then, okay?”
You gave a small smile, bringing your hand up to your forehead for a two fingered salute. “Yes sir”, you said. This actually earned you a small laugh, which at this moment was music to your ears. You lowered your hand and looked into his eyes, taking on a more serious expression. “Just… be safe.”
“I should be telling you that”, he said.
“Yeah, well, I beat you to it”, you said, half grinning.
“I will if you will.”
You nodded. “Then I will.”
Suddenly your body was moving without you telling it to, and you found yourself wrapping him in a tight hug, closing your eyes to keep from crying, and soon the gesture was returned, leaving the both of you in a long embrace.
“Don’t forget me, okay”, you said, the threat of tears evident in your voice.
He squeezed you a little tighter. “Never.”
***
Turns out, you didn’t have to hide out in that cave long at all, as they had returned to retrieve you within two days’ time, with a new crew member, but without Crosshair. You two hadn’t been the best of friends by any means, and the man’s standoffishness really irked you sometimes, but you’d always known that deep down, he wasn’t such a bad guy. So, when the boys had told you what had happened between their return to Kamino and their escape from the planet, it put a surprising strain on your heart. You wanted to be angry with Crosshair for his actions, for attempting to kill Caleb and other innocents, but you just couldn’t, especially after you were informed of the inhibitor chips planted within every clone trooper. You couldn’t be mad at him, you couldn’t hate him, because it wasn’t his fault, it wasn’t any of their faults, they were being used just like the jedi had been, if not more so, and this knowledge extinguished any hatred that had grown in you since the day that order was given.
Thinking back on all of this had you shedding silent tears as you watched the streaks of light pass before your eyes, attempting to let yourself to be swept away in the beauty that was hyperspace. This always seemed to calm your mind, but it didn’t seem to be working this time, so you simply stared and let the tears run down your cheeks.
“Hey, you okay”, Hunter asked from the seat beside you, having temporarily taken over piloting the ship in order to allow the others to rest.
You were snapped out of your thoughts by his words and quickly wiped the tears from your face before answering.
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine, still just trying to figure all of this out”, you replied somberly.
He nodded. “I understand, we still don’t have it all figured out either and with every answer comes new questions”, he said.
You hummed in agreement. “I guess my biggest question is, why now, why did Palpatine wait so long to put this grand plan in action? I mean, he could’ve done it years ago, but no, he waited… waited for us to get close to those who would eventually become our executioners, and worse, he took away their free will to do it. Those troopers, they weren’t the men they used to be, it’s like they were brainwashed.”
“Tech said they were programmed and when the chips were activated, it basically took over their minds, so I guess, in a way, they are brainwashed”, Hunter said, looking back out at the blue glow of hyperspace.
“Those poor men”, you said after a moment of silence.
Hunter turned his head to look at you, an astonished expression over his features, he then let out an amused huff.
“You are truly a wonder, you know that?”
“What”, you asked him, confused by the comment.
“Even after everything you’ve been through, and after what they did to you and your kin, you still feel pity for them”, he explained. “You’ve always been able to see people for who they really are, and forgive them for their faults, it’s commendable, and it’s something I’ve always admired about you.”
“You admire me”, you asked, raising an eyebrow and grinning in amusement.
He gave you a single nod. “Always have”, he said, giving you a soft smile.
The way he was looking at you made your cheeks begin to heat as a light blush covered them, and you turned away in an attempt to hide it, but he noticed, and his smile widened a bit as he looked back out the view port.
“I think you’re right by the way, about Palpatine waiting so long to execute his plan. I think he wanted you all to build those relationships, that trust, with your men, so that, when the time came, he could not only take you all out, but destroy your conviction as well”, he said, his voice lower than before.
“That’s a bit ominous, given our current situation”, you said, only half joking.
He turned to you suddenly, eyebrows raised in mild shock.
“(Y/N), you don’t think we’d… we’d never hurt you, I’d never hurt you, we’re on your side, I promise”, he said, hurt in his eyes. Did you really not trust him?
Seeing his reaction made your heart squeeze, you hadn’t meant to hurt him, you were just confused and scared. You felt as if your whole world had come crumbling down around you, and you were still trying to resurface from the rubble. But you knew you were wrong for thinking, even for a second, that you couldn’t trust Hunter and his men.
“I know, I’m sorry. I do trust you, all of you”, you said, trying to sound reassuring, but it only came out as sadness.
It looked as if the sergeant was contemplating something, his hands reflexively grabbing at nothing as they opened and closed on his lap. You knew he wanted to do something, wanted to comfort you, but he also didn’t want to invade your space, worried that would be crossing a line. So, you took the initiative.
You reached over and took one of his hands from his lap, holding it softly before giving it a reassuring squeeze and sending a smile his way. This prompted him to smile back, and you both just sat like that for a minute.
Suddenly, you heard a commotion from the bunks, and your name being called out by a desperate voice.
Recognizing the voice, you jumped up from your seat. “Echo”, you said, concern in your tone, before looking back to Hunter.
He simply nodded. “Go”, he said softly.
You gave a confirming nod and let go of the hand you’d still been holding, before quickly making your way to the bunks.
When you entered the room, it took you a second to assess the situation before you. Echo was laying in his bunk, breathing heavy, head shaking from side to side, and body trembling, as if he were in a state of terror. All this while Omega stood by the bunk, watching with concern. She looked back to you when you entered, then ran to you.
“I tried to wake him, but it’s not working, he keeps calling for you, you’ve got to do something”, she said in a rush, voice and eyes full or worry for her new friend.
You bent down to her level and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, I know what to do, you go wait with Hunter, okay? Everything will be fine”, you told her, attempting to quell her worry.
You then stood and made your way to Echo, sitting on the edge of the bunk and looking over him with your own worried expression. You really didn’t know what to do, you’d never been faced with something like this before. He was clearly having a terrible nightmare, and you wanted to help, so you just acted on instinct.
You placed a hand on his shoulder and shook lightly, softly calling his name, trying to wake him as gradually as you could, as you figured startling him awake would be counterproductive. However, this didn’t seem to work, and hearing your voice only caused him to say your name more. Seeing him like this broke your heart, and for a moment you felt totally helpless, but then you had an idea. You moved your hand from his shoulder, bringing it to cup the side of his face, your thumb instinctually beginning to rub soothing circles on his cheek, and you bent down to speak quietly in his ear.
“Echo, it’s (Y/N). You don’t have to be scared, I’m here, I won’t let them hurt you anymore”, you said, gently grabbing his flesh hand with your free one and holding it to your chest. “I’m here for you, I’ll always be right here with you, it’s okay. Wake up Love. Come back to me.”
As you spoke you could see him slowly calm, and with your final request, his eyes fluttered open, finding yours instantly.
“There you are”, you said softly, a smile spreading over your face. You were just relieved that the nightmare was over, and he seemed to be calming more with each passing second.
As he took in your presence before him, he let out a relieved sigh, but then looked to you with a strained expression.
“(Y/N), I… I was back, back with them, back to that day, I… I didn’t know how or why, and I just…”, he said in a desperate rush.
You shushed him, and let your hand continue to stay where it was in an attempt to sooth the frightened man lying next to you.
“I know, it’s okay, you’re okay now, you’re here with me, you’re safe, I promise”, you reassured him.
This seemed to work, and he let out another sigh as he closed his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing once again, coming back to a steady pattern in no time. When he opened his eyes again, he noticed the position you both were in; you were sitting very close beside him, one hand resting on his cheek, while the other held his hand close to your heart, with his clutching yours in return, like you were his lifeline, which he had to admit, wasn’t far from the truth. You were the one he could trust without question, the one he could confide in, always had been.
You noticed this too and immediately went to pull away, slowly dropping his hand as you did, cheeks now burning. You didn’t get very far though, before he grabbed your wrist with his newly freed hand. “No”, he said, and pulled the hand back towards his head, coaxing you to return it to its previous spot. “Don’t stop… please.”
You stared at him for a moment with an unreadable expression, before finally giving him a tentative nod and continuing your earlier action of rubbing your thumb in circles on his cheek. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the pillow, relaxing easily under your touch, this causing you to smile, glad you could be of comfort to him. You stayed like this for a while before your curiosity got the best of you and you voiced the question that had been on your mind since you first heard him call your name.
“Echo”, you said in a questioning tone. He hummed in response, not opening his eyes. “Why, why me?”
He looked at you then, confused. “What do you mean?”
“When you were having your nightmare, you, you called out for me, I was just wondering, why me”, you explained.
“I did”, he asked.
“Yeah, quite a few times actually. Was I in your dream or something?”
He looked away, a bit embarrassed.
“Not exactly”, he said.
You used the hand that was still on him to lightly pull his head to face you, speaking once his eyes were fixed on yours once again.
“Echo, you know you can tell me anything. What is it”, you asked.
“You weren’t in the dream, technically, and it wasn’t really a dream, more like I was reliving a memory, the memory of the citadel, and…”, he explained, his words dying off as he found it hard to voice them.
You placed a reassuring hand on his chest and gave him a nod in understanding.
“So, you were reliving that day, I’m sorry, I know that can’t be easy. But I still don’t see what that has to do with me, I wasn’t there, if I had been, I would’ve taken that blow for you”, you said, suddenly feeling tears behind your eyes, but you fought them back internally.
His eyes widened and he quickly grabbed your hand from its spot on his chest, squeezing it firmly.
“No, don’t say that”, he said urgently, suddenly sitting up, causing your hand to slip from his face, instead falling to rest at the intersection of his shoulder and neck.
“But…”, you tried to say, but he cut you off.
“No (Y/N), I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, least of all on you”, he said, staring directly into your eyes. You could only nod sadly as you tried to keep your emotions in check, which was getting harder as this interaction continued. He then softened his gaze and let out a long breath. “You were there, in a way.”
You gave him a confused look, about to ask what he meant, until he continued.
“After the explosion, I just laid there for a long time, feeling everything and nothing all at the same time, I was basically just waiting to die”, he told you. Your heart squeezed at his words, as the tears threatened to rise. “But then, I heard someone’s voice calling out to me, your voice. You were telling me not to give up, not to leave you, to keep fighting, and so I did. I bared the pain and rejected the urge to just slip away, even after they took me, I fought through all of it, because I knew that if I survived, then there was a chance I’d make it back to you, and… I really wanted that.”
That’s all it took, his words hit you straight in the chest and flowed through you, causing the flood gates to release and the tears to fall. Echo looked worried then and released your hand, bringing his to cup your cheek, wiping the tears away with his thumb.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad”, he said, internally wishing he hadn’t said anything.
You shook your head. “You have nothing to be sorry for, and I’m not sad that you told me, I’m glad you did”, you said, wiping the tears from the other side of your face. “Honestly, I’m just happy your alive, and that you did find your way back to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. When I heard what happened on Lola Sayu I couldn’t believe it at first, it didn’t feel real, but once I accepted it was… I had never felt true grief until that moment, and the sense of longing was almost unbearable. All I kept thinking was how I was angry with myself for wasting the time I had with you, lying. Lying to you, and to myself.”
“What are you talking about, lying about what”, he asked, sliding his hand down to hook a finger around your chin and turn your face back to face him after you’d turned it away during your confession.
You took a deep breath before speaking next. “I lied to you before, when I acted like that slip up was just a poor choice of words, I meant exactly what I said. See, the truth is, I was upset with myself because I never told you…”, you paused, finding this confession to be much harder than you had thought it would be to get out, “never told you that I…”
After another long pause, Echo decided to take the initiative, seeing as he knew exactly what you wanted to say, as it was the same thing he’d wanted to say to you all that time ago, still did. He used the hand that had a hold of your chin to pull you to him as he caught your lips in a kiss, one that while soft, was full of so much emotion it was almost palpable. You were surprised at first, but soon melted into the kiss, feeling completely content with staying there as long as possible.
Much too soon for your liking, Echo pulled away, but only to place his forehead against yours and let the long overdue words slip from his lips. “I love you too.”
Your smile reached your ears as his words filled you with untainted happiness, which prompted him to smile widely himself. Why had you both waited so long to do this, you didn’t know, but you were glad it was finally happening.
“Why did we spend all that time hiding, when we could’ve just done this”, you asked.
He chuckled. “Because we were both cowardly idiots”, he said.
You hummed in agreement. “I still can’t believe you did all that for me”, you said in a more serious tone.
He pulled back to look into your eyes. “Of course I did… I’d do anything for you (Y/N)”, he told you.
“Anything?”
He nodded in response and you smiled again.
“Kiss me again”, you said, it was more of a request than a demand.
He smiled and pulled you close so your face was mere inches from his.
“Yes Ma’am.”
***
It had been a good fifteen minutes since the cries had stopped and no noise could be heard from Echo’s bunk. Omega was no longer worried, knowing you had it handled, but her curiosity was starting to get the best of her.
“What do you think their talking about in there, it’s so quiet, maybe I should…”, she said as she got up from the co-pilot seat, moving in the direction of the bunks, but she was stopped by a hand grabbing her forearm, causing her to turn and stare at Hunter questioningly.
“Don’t, they’re fine, and it’s none of our business what their talking about, so just let them be, alright”, he said, giving her a warning look, one that wasn’t all that intimidating to the young girl, but she listened nonetheless and returned to her seat.
After a moment she spoke again, not being able to take the silence any longer.
“So, what’s the deal with those two, are they together, or is it some secret that everyone knows about except them”, she asked the sergeant.
Hunter laughed, this kid really was perceptive, not that anyone with eyes couldn’t see the attraction between you and Echo, it had always seemed so obvious to him, which is why he never spoke on his own feelings for you.
“Yeah, there seem to be… unspoken feelings between the two of them, but I’m sure they’ll get their acts together soon enough, especially now that they’ll be around each other more often”, he told her.
She thought on this for a moment before responding.
“I think so too… and what about you”, Omega asked him.
“What about me?”
“Are you going to get your act together as well”, she asked, raising her eyebrow and grinning at him.
“What are you talkin’ about kid”, Hunter asked, wondering if she’d somehow figured it out.
“Seriously, I’ve only just got here and I can see it”, she said.
“See what?”
“That Echo isn’t the only one who has feelings for the general.”
Hunter turned to the young clone, a look of surprise on his face. Very perceptive indeed.
“Why don’t you just tell her, at least one of you should pluck up the courage to do it”, she said.
He exhaled heavily as his features returned to a more neutral expression.
“It’s not that simple kid, there are just some things you’re not old enough to understand. Besides, it’s not reciprocated so there’s really no point, she’s made her choice, and I have to respect that”, he explained, hoping that would be that. However, he wasn’t going to be that lucky.
“Your wrong”, Omega said simply.
“What?”
“Your wrong, those feelings, they are reciprocated, yeah she likes Echo, but she likes you too.” She said it with such confidence that it made him wonder if the statement was true.
“Really, and how do you know that”, he asked, an almost sarcastic tone in his voice.
She shrugged. “Female intuition.”
He raised a suspicious brow at her but decided not to think too much on it.
“Hm, well, even if you are right, she’s still made her choice, and I won’t get in the way.”
“Won’t get in the way of what?”
Your voice made both of them jump a little. You had just made your way back to the cockpit and had clearly overheard the last bit of their conversation.
“Nothing”, Hunter said, watching you come to stand beside Omega, perching your arm on the headrest of the co-pilot chair and leaning on it.
“Really? Didn’t sound like nothing”, you said, raising your eyebrow in suspicion.
Omega suddenly perked up and turned in her chair to look up at you.
“Hey (Y/N), do you think it’s possibly for someone to love more than one person at a time”, she asked.
You were a bit taken aback by the question, but figured you’d answer, seeing as how you were being very honest today.
“Yes, I do, it actually happens a lot more often than you think”, you responded, purposefully avoiding Hunter’s gaze as you looked at the child.
“And what does that person do, you know, when they realize they have feelings for more than one person”, she then asked.
“Well, usually that person then has a decision to make, and they just hope they don’t break any hearts in the process. You see, love can be a tricky endeavor. However, I think if someone does fall for two individuals at once, then there are other options”, you said, rather matter-of-factly, given the topic at hand.
“Like what?”
“Those involved could always enter into a relationship all together, I suppose”, you said, wondering just how far she was going to take this conversation.
“And that would work”, she asked, seeming almost hopeful.
“It’s possible, yes, but only if all members involved are okay with it. They all need to know that’s what’s going on, and there can’t be any secrets”, you explained.
“Huh, I guess that makes sense”, Omega said, seeming content with your explanation. Then another thought seemed to hit her. “Hey (Y/N)?”
You hummed in response.
“Have you ever been in love”, she asked curiously.
“Omega”, Hunter said firmly, giving her another look of warning.
“No, no, it’s fine”, you informed him, not wanting him to reprimand the girl for just being curious. “To answer your question Omega, yes, yes I have.”
“With more than one person”, she continued.
You raised an eyebrow at her and crossed your arms over your chest.
“What’s with the twenty questions, am I being interrogated or something”, you asked, only half joking.
She shook her head. “No, just curious is all.”
“Uh huh, well why don’t you stow that curiosity away for later and go get some rest, it’s quiet now”, you told her.
“What did you do, I mean, how did you get him to stop”, she asked as she stood from her seat.
“I just let him know that he was safe, and that there was nothing to be afraid of”, you said, which wasn’t a complete lie.
“That’s it”, she asked.
You nodded. “That’s it.”
She gave you a look of suspicion but didn’t act on it.
“Okay”, she said, drawing out the word, and made her way to exit the cockpit.
“Sleep tight”, you called after her as she disappeared down the small corridor. You then turned back to the view port and took a seat in the now empty chair, sighing heavily before finally looking to Hunter. “Well, that was interesting, care to tell me what that was all about?”
“Not really”, he said, turning back to face forward.
You raised a brow. “Seriously?”
He shrugged and kept his gaze where it was.
You sighed again and leaned back in your chair. “Alright then, but I think it’s worth mentioning that the kid knows what she’s talking about, you might want to listen to her every now and then, she’s quite intuitive.”
He looked to you then, confusion on his brow.
“What do you mean”, he asked.
You laughed. “I mean, what she said about me is true”, you said.
His eyes widened a bit. “You, you heard that”, he asked, and you nodded in response. “How much of it?”
“Enough”, you said simply.
He looked away again as he spoke. “Then you know it doesn’t matter how I feel, you’ve made your choice, and I’m okay with that, I’ll have to be”, he said, trying to keep up this act of indifference.
You turned in your seat to face him. “You keep saying that, but, what if I don’t want to choose, because how you feel does matter, Hunter. At least, to me it does.”
He turned his head to meet your gaze. “What exactly are you proposing”, he asked.
“Nothing yet, just letting you know that, I know, and that the feelings are mutual.”
He smiled at this and nodded his understanding.
“What about Echo, have you told him yet”, he asked.
“We talked, and confessions were made… finally”, you said with a smile.
You both laughed then, happy to finally air things out a bit, all the pent-up emotions were wearing on all of you it seemed, and it felt nice to not have to hide it anymore.
“How do you think he’ll feel about your non-proposed proposal”, he asked with a grin.
“I don’t know, but we’re all adults, we can sit down and have a civilized conversation about this, and… we’ll figure this all out”, you told him.
He gave an amused huff. “You make it sound so formal.”
You nodded and gave a light chuckle. “At first, yeah, but I get the feeling that once this proposal is made, all persons involved will be… willing to give it a try”, you said, taking his hand and holding it in both of yours. “Then things will get more… informal.”
He smiled. “Yeah, how can you be so sure”, he asked, leaning toward you.
You smiled back and leaned in as well, your faces now only inches apart.
“Female intuition”, you whispered, your smile turning a bit smug.
He chuckled in amusement. “You’re ridiculous”, he said, before closing the gap between you.
The kiss was sweet and felt just as right as the ones you’d had with Echo, and just like those ones, this kiss ended all to quickly, but you were content to sit back and bask in the afterglow, you didn’t want to rush things after all.
You both sat there a moment, leaning back in your seats, staring out the view port, arms stretched as your hands sat, intertwined, between you. Maybe this really could work, only time would tell.
After what felt like hours, but in reality, had only been minutes, Hunter looked to you with a soft smile.
“I’m glad you’re here with us”, he said.
You smiled back and gave his hand a light squeeze.
“Me too”, you said, and you both stayed like that for a long while, enjoying a view you each thought was much better than the one outside the view port.
Little did you know, behind you Omega stood at the entrance of the cockpit, looking on silently and grinning from ear to ear, feeling quite pleased with herself.
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stephspurs · 3 years
Text
A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction
BESTIES!! PART 10 IS A HOT ONE!! Enjoy reading it as much as I did while writing it (and re-reading it because its probs one of my fav parts of the whole series) Love Always, Steph xx
Part 10 | parte dieci
warnings; heavy-petting, almost-smut, and a hot jack grealish - read at your own risk ;) word count; 2469. writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter. next update; Monday 16/08 5pm AEST. Updates are three times/week (Monday, Wednesday & Friday)! tags (as requested by users); @footballffbarbiex @obsesseds-world @abysshaven link to fic masterlist here
Longing glances and shy smiles. That  was how Amelia and Ben both spent the next morning at Cobham together, prior to travelling to Stamford Bridge for the fourth match of the season against Aston Villa. The two had spent the rest of the evening relaxing on the couch; no additional kisses were shared between them as they had both agreed to keep things friendly, and no matter how hard Ben tried, Amelia had no intentions of going any further just yet. She had admitted to him something that she had never uttered out loud before: she still needed to work out how to exist without Fede.
While their situationship had been as unconventional as it was, it was still something that Amelia had grown to live with and love. Fede’s personality was unlike no other she had come across, perhaps closest to that of Jack Grealish. Friendly, flirtatious, charming, to the point where she found herself blushing sometimes - not many people had been able to make her shy enough to blush, but Fede had, and now Jack was too.
hot boy grealish
mornin mils, can’t wait to see ya today.
I’ll be the hot one with the good hair and even better ass.
hot gal mils
morning my dear jacky, looking forward to seeing you too.
Is Tyrone not playing?
His bum has always been my fav bum to stare at.
hot boy grealish
cut it out, you.
Banter-filled texts had been a constant stream of entertainment throughout the days leading up to the match. Jack has been preparing Amelia for the possibility of her losing, constantly picking on the girl for being an overachiever and saying that she needs to be brought down a few pegs, having been quite some time since her team had lost a match. Amelia however, with enough self-confidence to rival that of the villa boy, wouldn’t even let him finish his sentences. Far too superstitious for that to happen.
The girl believed in superstitions, and she was not about to tempt her fate. She even went so far as to have her family name and a small Italian flag embroidered onto the inside of her collar of every polo shirt she would wear for match days. She did it at Juventus and organised for it to be done to her new Chelsea uniform. It was a personal choice, something that happened to run in her family also, her father and brother also having the White family name stitched to the inside of their kit. It was a way of keeping them all tied together, no matter what side of the pitch they were on. The Italian flag was there to remind her of all that the country had given her: her grandparents and a chance to be brilliant at what she loves most.
Arriving at Stamford Bridge off of the team bus, Jorgi had insisted she sitwith him and they spoke exclusively in Italian for the 30-odd minute drive from Cobham. Despite Amelia purchasing a new car a few days prior, Jorgi insisted they continue to carpool. It worked out well because now Amelia wouldn’t have to catch the team bus back to the training ground after the match. She had spent the better part of an hour out on the pitch with some of the boys, running through the plays she had in mind before she ushered them back into the changeroom, allowing the Aston Villa men to have their time out on the grass.
______________________________________________________________
“I would know that bum anywhere.”
“Hello Jack, nice to see you too. I’ve been well thanks, so has my bum. I’ll let my face know you said hello, too,” I spoke as I stood up from my crouched position, where I had been tying my laces.
“Just kiddin love, actually no I'm not - I love your bum. But I am happy to see your beautiful face too!” Jack spoke, as he pulled me into a hug - wrapping both of his arms around my head, effectively pushing me further into his chest.
“You saw my face a couple days ago when we were on FaceTime!”
“I saw your bum a few days ago on FaceTimetoo, doesn’t mean I'm not happy to see it!”
“So that's why you like helping me do my laundry, so you can see my backside as I reach into the machine!”
“Now I’m not a religious man, but I have prayed to God a few times that you drop a sock or two riiiiiiight in front of the camera.” He laughed back at my shocked expression.
“Jack! You are ridiculous! Stop being such a perv! No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend” I play-shouted at him as I smacked him with my rolled up matchday program.
“I’m holding out for you, my love.”
“Always the joker, Jack. Get out there and prepare for the worst match of your season.”
“Dream on Mils, we’ve got this in the bag.”
“Sure thing Jacky, sure thing.”
I walked further up the tunnel towards the changeroom, getting ready to deliver my strategy talk to the boys.
“Stop looking at my ass, Grealish!” I shouted without turning around. The boisterous laugh that followed my exclamation was enough to know that I was correct. I didn’t need to turn around to be able to predict what the laddish lad was already doing.
60 minutes of football later.
Amelia was correct in saying that Chelsea were going to win the match, her quiet confidence only getting louder and louder as each premier league match went on. She was apprehensive at first to see if her tactics were going to work in the Prem, or if there was to be some compromise on skill due to the fast-paced nature of the game. So far, however, the Chelsea men were quick learners and even quicker to execute.
One thing she wasn’t prepared for, however, was the absolute worldie that Jack had scored just before half-time at the Bridge. There was an element of familiarity in his goal, recognising the play as one of her own. A small smile crossed  her face after he scored, running to celebrate with the away fans before jogging down past the bench and mouthing a quick “all you baby” at her as he moved back into position. She must have told him about it back when she was in Italy, knowing that there was no chance she would have exchanged her trade secrets to an enemy in the same league. It warmed her to know he paid enough attention to her to be able to practice that on his own with his team and execute it flawlessly in a live game.
What Amelia also wasn’t prepared for was for anyone else to recognise the play. Behind her on the bench sat an oddly-inquisitive Ben. He saw the tactic as it was playing out, recognising the run that Jack had to make to put himself in the box at the exact moment that John McGinn crossed the ball. Better yet, he saw Jack run down the sideline, nowhere near where he should have been, and mouth those words to Amelia. He wanted to know what was going on, was that why she wasn’t ready to commit to him?
Later that same evening.
After a hot shower, Amelia was curled up on the couch, ready to continue the docuseries she was watching the night before when she had an unexpected visitor pop round and confess his feelings to her. Thinking back on the night prior, she was happy that things ended up working out the way they did. Of course she wasn’t exactly thrilled with just how they happened but she could forgive the sweet boy. His intentions were pure and that's not something she was used to. It made her giddy to think about him, and about where things may go in the future.
A ring of her doorbell, almost to the exact hour that it had the night prior, made her get off her couch and walk down the small hall to the front door with a smirk on her face. Expecting to see the same brown-haired, blue-eyed boy that seemed to enjoy ringing her bell after hours. What she saw on the other side, however, was not what she was expecting.
“Jack, what on bloody God’s earth are you doing here?! You should be halfway back to Birmingham by now!”
“Are you gonna let me in love, it’s bloody cold out ‘ere tonight. Come on, shove over,” The slightly-less-than-6-foot-tall footballer commandeered her hallway, shutting the door behind him and locking it. This,  coupled with his overnight duffle bag hanging off his shoulder let Amelia know that he had no other plans but to stay with her.
“Sure, Jack, I suppose you can come in and spend the night crashing in my spare room.”
“Now now, don’t pretend that you’re not happy to see me, love. And a spare room? I believe you promised me a cuddle.”
Rolling her eyes, she couldn’t help but smile at the charming young man. Feeling the blush start to spread from her chest up her neck and across her cheeks, she quickly turned and walked into her kitchen, calling out over her shoulder to ask if he wanted a cup of tea. Feeling a sense of deja vu from the night before, she shook her head and reminded herself that this is nothing like the night before. How could it have been - there was no kissing involved.
“Was that a blush I saw? Do I make you nervous, Amelia?” Somehow, Jack had moved to be right behind the girl at her kitchen counter. Hands on her hips, chest to her back, lips to her ear. Amelia felt herself freeze, and then relax into his hands.
“Jack, please, I don’t think we should do this.”
“Why not, Mils? You can feel it, too. The tension through the screen’s enough to force me into a cold shower most nights.”
And just like the night before, the whistle of the kettle was the only piercing sound resonating around the townhouse. Whilst all she saw was truth behind Ben’s eyes, Jack's eyes were clouded with lust and affection. Just once, she could give in, right?
Leaning her head back to rest on his right shoulder, he attached his lips to the left side of her neck. Hands rolling from the side of her hips, to underneath her shirt, feeling the small navel piercing between his fingers and smirking.
“Didn’t take you for being the kind of girl to have a piercing, Mils,” He spoke into her collarbone, a small nip to the sensitive skin as the girl continued to focus on her breathing.
“Piercings, Jack. I have more than one” She breathlessly spoke, knowing exactly what she was doing now. The admission of having more than one piercing that he could not see was all of the consent Jack needed to continue his exploration of her body.
“Are you going to let me see them, darling?”
“If you’re lucky.”
“I’d say I'm the luckiest guy in the world right now, especially in this position.”
She was unsure how it had happened, but Jack had pressed her further into the countertop. With her back still to his chest, his waist was at the perfect height to press into the small of her back. His leg had settled between both of her own and his hands had found the bottom of her bralette and were gently caressing her rib cage, desperate to get closer to where he presumed her other piercing was.
“We shouldn’t be doing this Jack,” she breathed out into the air, hot air escaping her lungs to resemble what she felt brewing in the pit of her stomach. Desire.
“Why the bloody hell not?” he mumbled into her sweet spot, where her jaw met her neck.
“Because I've been here before. This is bad.” With her eyes shut, he continued his way down her neck. The fabric of her top shifted so he could slide one of her straps down her arm.
“If it's bad, why does it feel so good? '' Whilst his lips got to work on her collarbone, and his hand was busy toying with the elastic line of her bralette, his other hand began to fiddle with her fingers. Entwining them with his own, the kind of strength she needed to feel to make her next decisions.
Pushing back off of the counter, meaning her ass had pushed right into the part of his body where he wanted her most, Amelia turned around and faced Jack. The two stood there, slightly panting, staring at each other. Amelia being the kind of girl that she is, decided that she wanted to have a little slice of the dominance pie. Maintaining eye contact, she lifted the bottom of her t-shirt over her head and dropped in on the floor, that second piercing now very clearly visible through the sheer fabric of her bralette.
“Come on Jack, aren’t you an athlete? What’s got you so out of breath? I thought you’d be able to last a little longer than some heavy petting.” She taunted at the smirking man, wanting nothing more than to mess up his hair as he nestled himself between her thighs. That's exactly the position that they found themselves in not more than 5 minutes later, this time upstairs in her bedroom.
Throughout the multiple rounds of passion that the two so-called friends shared that night, not once had their lips touched. Of course, her lips had touched parts of him and he had definitely been all over a completely different set of lips a few times (and from a few different positions), but face to face, eye to eye, nose to nose - their lips had never met. That told Amelia enough to set her anxiety on fire. Had she just gotten involved with a carbon-copy of the man she left behind in Italy?
The regret seeped through her bones and settled into her heart by the time that the Villa boy had fallen asleep next to her. What had she done? This was not the girl Amelia wanted to be anymore. She was done being the girl that was loved only when the lights went out. She wanted love under the sun, she wanted breakfast by the river, double dates, family parties. She wanted the kind of love that you could never try and hide even if you wanted to. She knew that this wasn’t what Jack was able to offer her. She was grateful for their friendship, she truly was, he made her laugh more than most people but for the first time in a very long time, she was certain that that's all she wanted from him.
Part 11. | parte undicesima
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captainsimagines · 3 years
Text
To Topple A Giant || Chapter Five
Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.
Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader
Part 5 of 10 ~ Mini-Series
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Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. All trigger warnings will be listed before the chapter. This is purely fanfiction.
Warnings in this Chapter: mentions of male masturbation and boners (lol); strong language; references to suicide, murder, and drug smuggling; abusive parental relationship; mentions of child death in a second flashback; dry humping (smut); 18+ only please!
Word Count: 16,500+
A/N: damn that chapter warning list was a trip to write down lmao
~
Westview, 2023, 1:32 pm
     An uncomfortable silence spread throughout the parked vehicle, daring either of you to take the first step. No one commented on the glares boring into your soul as you drove through the town or how heavily the three of you got patted down by the authorities right outside the state line. You figured it was completely justified - still a little insulting to a bunch of Avengers who literally saved the world three weeks ago. 
With a loud gulp, Bucky was the first to kick open his door and get out of the car. You glanced at Steve from the driver’s seat, biting your lip with a slight quiver as you went over the speech you practiced earlier today. Simple enough, and not too damning. 
Steve’s leg bounced rapidly a few more times before he too kicked open his door, leaving you in silence. You pulled the car keys from the ignition and took in a deep breath. Your legs were numb, the anxiety washing over you in uneven cycles. It was now or never. 
“Wanda, it’s us…”
Her grief seemed to emit from every crack in the sidewalk, every weak beg escaping the townspeople’s throats, every sound from the inanimate objects her powers had continued to turn from gray to red… to green… back to gray. She was crouched on the property, weeds brushing against her black pants and leaving their mark, mascara smudged with each new wet streak. 
Bucky unzipped his jacket, eyes wandering over the deserted plot of land as Wanda tried to control her sobs. She had already caused enough damage, both physical and psychological, the possibility of more government involvement looming over your heads. He carefully walked toward her and wrapped his jacket over her shoulders, all be damned as he held her and began to tear up himself.
“Wanda, you’re okay. You’re safe. We’ll get through this,” Steve sighed, still keeping a respectable distance from her in case she were to run. But you knew her better - she was all out of fight. One fight after another and yet she still lost her love. 
“I did something really bad,” she sobbed, eyes locked on the spot where Vision had just disappeared. Again.
“No, you didn’t know what you were doing,” Steve declared, shocked by the unexpected scoff from Bucky. 
“Save it, Steve. She may not have known in the beginning but she does now. She still did it.”
No one dared correct Bucky or argue with that logic because if anyone knew about causing harm with absolutely no intention, it was obviously him. Taking responsibility - that was the best course of action. 
Once you heard of a radioactive disturbance in a small town just outside the state, the team almost retired completely. So soon after defeating Thanos, so soon after Tony’s death, so soon after Natasha’s death - the team left it up to the proper authorities this time around. 
But the second you watched the broadcast of Wanda’s fantasies, the sitcom her powers were conjuring, her giving birth to her children… all you could do was wait until she opened the barrier. 
“I still did it,” Wanda said, her upper body beginning to rock back and forth as her fingertips brightened with red tendrils of magical grief. 
You shut your eyes and willed yourself not to cry. You had done so much crying these past few years and you were oh, so tired. You couldn’t possibly take another beating. 
“Hey, hey. Look at me,” Bucky spoke, gently turning Wanda’s face and placing both his hands on her cheeks, mindful of the metal appendage he had forgotten to cover with his glove. “You already did it. It can’t be undone. But you can come with us and grieve properly.”
Wanda reached up and placed her hands over his, tears spilling from her eyes faster now. 
“Let us help you grieve.”
This wasn’t an unexpected goodbye. Wanda knew that. She had just voluntarily given up her husband and children - anyone would crumble from that sort of devastation. But now she had been given a proper goodbye, a somewhat proper closure, and the chance to accept it. “Okay.”
You and Steve remained frozen in place even after Bucky helped Wanda stand. Almost as quickly as you thought it, your feet had a mind of their own. You stood next to Steve, taking in the weed infested, rectangular plot of land - the remnants of Wanda’s fantasy still fresh and creating a tiny, refreshing tingle in the middle of your chest. You looked over at Steve and smiled sadly when you saw him inspecting the area as well. 
“They would have had a beautiful life together.”
Steve’s breath hitched as you finished your declaration, looking over at you and nodding slightly. 
“If I had the chance, I would have wanted a nice house with some decent air conditioning. Some weird, front yard garden where I could plant random flowers. A dog that dug them up and acted like it didn’t do it.”
You giggled, thumbnail between your incisors to try and disguise the wider grin forming. Steve kept speaking. 
“Maybe a kid or two. Never actually checked if I could even have kids after the serum.”
You dropped your hand from your face, your attention completely on him now. 
Steve sighed and kicked a rock over to the other side of the property. “I would have wanted a giant, king-sized bed. With ‘his’ and ‘hers’ towels. And every once in a while we would accidentally use the other one’s toothbrush, a secret we would take to the grave.”
Steve wasn’t even looking over at you as he said this. It was like a one-sided confession, rhetorical, not needing an immediate response or expression in return. And you couldn’t believe he was just saying this in front of you - you of all people - the same person who rolled their eyes whenever Steve struggled to comprehend a modern topic or argued with him when he was in one of his moods. He had been distant the last few weeks after returning the stones, only ever noticing you when other people were around to carry a conversation. 
The tingles in your chest were starting to disappear as the plot of land gave its last few magical rumbles. 
“Steve?”
Steve bowed his head, hands in his pockets and breath steady. “Yes, they would have been very happy together.”
You stared at the back of his head as he slowly walked back to the car.  
Present Day, 2025, 8:10 am
     The amount of times you reminded yourself to wake up early as you were drifting off to sleep last night was perhaps more than the number of sheep you had ever counted in your life. A quick reminder here and there as your mind got clogged with pointless information, the number eight behind your eyelids all throughout the night. 
And you did it. In the early hours of the morning, knowing Steve would wake naturally in about twenty minutes, you tip-toed out of bed to use the bathroom. Acting completely normal in case he did in fact hear you before your grand plan - an easy escape route if he decided to repeat his horrible morning ritual on you. But he was such an old man, getting older, losing that serum’s boost. This Steve, Steve who refused to call any movie made after 1945 ‘old’ because he literally didn’t get the chance to see them premiere - yeah, this Steve, was passed out like he had been hit by a truck. 
Bladder empty and teeth brushed, you quietly opened the bathroom door and peeked through. He still lay there on his back, wrapped tightly in his blanket, breathing steadily, and face completely unprotected. 
Could you die? Probably. Would this payback be absolutely satisfying? Hell yeah. 
You grabbed the biggest of your pillows and fisted the corner tightly, twisting it a couple times for a better grip. You signed the cross quickly before lifting the pillow above your head and bringing it down to Steve’s face. 
Steve’s eyes snapped open and he immediately sat up, “WHAT?”
His eyes flew around the room rapidly until they landed on you, angry and challenging.
“Payback!” you yelled, lifting the pillow high again for a second hit. But he reacted quicker, grabbing a pillow himself and swinging it toward you. It slammed you in the torso and practically sent you flying. You landed at the edge of your bed, mouth open in shock and racks of laughter bubbling deep within your chest. You stood quickly and hit him repeatedly, trying your best to also block his counterattack. 
He reached for your hip and pulled you in his bed, rolling the two of you over so he was straddling your hips. He brought the pillow down several more times before accepting your plea of surrender. 
You threw the pillow back to your bed and pouted, “Not a fair fight!”
Steve scoffed, “You caught me off guard! You had all the advantages!”
You shuffled beneath him and froze, hips stuck in a lifted position as you were too embarrassed to move them back down. “Jesus, Steve! How do you even sleep on your stomach with that thing?”
Steve furrowed his eyebrows as he inspected your face and body, looking down at the two of you before he noticed the way he was pressing into your inner thigh. He scrambled off you, a blush spreading from his cheeks and all the way down his chest. He cupped himself and turned away, quickly shuffling for his suitcase and pulling whatever clothes his flustered hands grabbed. He was also repeatedly apologizing. 
“Steve, it’s okay. It just… startled me, is all.”
Steve cleared his throat a couple times before pacing around the room in search of his toiletries. 
You just sat back on your elbows, watching him scurry like a chicken with its head cut off. It was rather amusing. 
“I’m gonna - gonna, take a shower. Uh, I’m sorry again.”
You smirked at the super soldier, “Steve, I’m not mad. It isn’t like I’m new to that kind of thing.”
Steve blushed harder, “But I didn’t mean for it to happen.”
You shrugged your shoulders and dipped lower into his sheets, grabbing and lifting them higher. You snuggled deeper, “Still.”
Steve could feel the speed at which the world rotated and he shut the bathroom door behind him. He leaned against it, breathing deeply until he had all his inhibitions back. 
He didn’t know what was more embarrassing - reacting the way he did or you seeing him react the way he did. It wasn’t like the two of you hadn’t seen each other in awkward situations, some borderline lewd. There were plenty of missions that involved heavy flirting with the targets, undercover work in depraved settings, missions where nasty magic was involved and concocted a multitude of inappropriate visions. Hell, everyone had already seen each other naked. It was completely normal, a trustworthy environment, and sometimes necessary. 
As much as he wanted to give into the feeling and award himself some proper alone time, he refused to act upon it. He would regret it later once the stress pushed down harder than usual, but it just wasn’t appropriate in his right mind to masturbate with you in the other room. 
Why did he have to be such a good and honorable man?
He busied himself with washing his hair and scrubbing away any evidence of sleep from his face. Steve liked sleeping on his stomach, face smooshed in the pillows and arms extended to his sides. It allowed for more comfortable movement, more ways to stretch his hips, just overall comfort for his massive shoulders. Less pressure on the lungs, too. And unlike the enthusiastic yet almost mean accusation that he couldn’t possibly enjoy that position because of his… well, his dick, Steve would choose that position over sleeping on his back any day. But that morning, his body had decided to betray him in more ways than one. One, he was open to attack because he was on his back. And two, whatever dream he was having caused his morning wood to seem larger this morning.
He had washed up quickly, more time spent out of the shower where he fixed his hair and combed his beard. He thought about shaving it for the rehearsal dinner or wedding, but it gave him a more rugged look - like he was all tough and no funny business. As ridiculous as it sounded, the beard allowed him to lean into the criminal act easier, build a fake personality that already had your father eating out of his hand. 
Opening the bathroom door and having to face the music, Steve was almost certain you would continue to tease him. But you were already munching on the breakfast you had ordered, shoveling hash browns in your mouth as you swiped the mouse through pages and pages of intel. You didn’t even look up as he crossed the room to grab a pair of pants he had forgotten to pick up during his quick escape. That settled his nerves almost instantly and he was dressed and settled next to you soon after.
You worked in silent cooperation for a long while, handing each other files and passing phone calls like you had during every other mission before. Except now it was more comfortable, pleasant, and kind - the soft sounds from the television in the corner, the humming of the desktop, the soft hums of recognition whenever you two showed each other something. You didn’t even bother with what happened in the morning, if it really was anything at all, because you honestly found it normal. You were more focused on the conversation you had last night. 
Steve had offered to kill your father if you seriously couldn’t. Just thinking about his offer caused your stomach to turn. Because yes, you wanted him dead. You wanted to snap his neck in ten different places and feed him to scavengers. You wanted to steal his business from under him and tear it apart, bit by bit, and keep him alive long enough to see you do it. You wanted to see the look in his eyes when you revealed that you double-crossed him. And as the day inched closer, the overwhelming feeling of shame pushed down on your shoulders and swallowed your mind. Once your father was dead, you and Steve would never find true peace. His men would always follow you, probably take you down at the local coffee shop you and Peter frequented. 
The thought of dying in front of Peter caused a lump to form in your throat. No, you wouldn’t do that to your friends. You couldn’t do this to Steve. 
But you had to. Because even though your life will never be yours after this mission, you had to save the countless others your father was sure to touch and ruin. 
But was your life ever truly yours?
Steve’s voice pulled you from your clouded mind. 
“Huh?” 
“I asked if you wanted the last piece of fruit.” 
You looked at Steve then at the small piece of watermelon in the bowl, then back at Steve. He had a pen in between his teeth, one eyebrow cocked, and slightly puffy eyes due to the beer heavy sleep he had last night. You looked away as quickly as you could and stared back at the fruit, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. 
Ridiculous, you thought. Just looking at Steve had flustered you, squeezing your stomach in pleasurable pulses you hadn’t felt since high school. “No, no. You can have it,” you said, hoping your voice wouldn’t crack. 
Ridiculous. 
Steve watched you with a funny smile but he took your word and scooped up the last piece for himself. 
No, you thought again, this man will not give me freaking butterflies. 
It wasn’t like it was odd. Steve had you flustered countless times before, but it was never quite as tingly as it was now. You suddenly wanted to facetime Wanda and rant about these weird feelings; you wanted to curl in on yourself and squeal; you wanted to -
    “He’s what?”
You sat on your knees and leaned over the back of the couch, chin resting on your folded arms as you watched Steve pace around the common room. He was tugging at his dress shirt repeatedly, desperately trying to attach cufflinks without additional help. Sam sat right beside you, in the same position, snickering each time Steve cursed under his breath. 
“He’s nervous,” Bucky smirked, arm holding out Steve’s tie for the past five minutes. Steve had paced beside him various times already, completely oblivious. 
Steve groaned and readjusted his collar, snapping his head toward the three of you. “I’m not nervous.”
“You’re sweating buckets, man,” Sam pointed out, one of his hands discreetly opening up his camera and switching to video. 
“What if she doesn’t like me?” 
Bucky threw his head back and cackled, choosing to grab Steve and steady him to finally put that damn tie around his neck. “Same old, Steve. Can’t accept that a dame would ever possibly like you back.”
“Hey, Steve don’t worry about it,” you started, shooting Steve a sympathetic look. Steve glanced back at you, expression swiftly changing due to your kind tone. “... when I was in high school,-”
Steve released a loud grunt, rolling his eyes and stepping away from Bucky’s hands. 
Sam rolled over and clutched his stomach as he laughed, pulling you into him. The two of you shook from your laughs together. 
“Guys,” Bucky warned, reaching for Steve in a ‘grabby’ motion. “Give him a break.”
Steve reluctantly stood beside Bucky again, head tilted upward as he tried wrapping the tie back around his neck. 
None of you heard the entrance of Thor and his brother, too busy with bullying, laughter, or moderating. 
“Did we miss all the fun?”
You shot up from the ground, kicking Sam away as you rushed across the floor and stumbled over the rug. “Thor!”
You rushed into his arms and he gripped you tightly, swinging you around and loud laughter matching yours. 
“Now, why wasn’t I greeted in a similar manner?” Loki questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. 
You pulled your face from Thor’s shoulder, “Oh, you want this too?”
You jumped back onto the floor and were about to jump into Loki’s arms, but he held his own out, stopping you. “It’s too late. It’s not the same.”
“Piss baby,” you quipped, rushing behind Thor for protection when Loki’s mouth dropped in surprise. 
“Can everyone stop what they’re doing real quick and tell Steve his date is going to go well tonight?”
You rolled your eyes at Bucky’s favor, but he just raised his eyebrows, challenging you to disobey the order. 
“The Captain has a date? Are they okay?”
Loki and you shared a comical gasp. 
Steve gaped, “Now, what in the world does that mean, Thor?”
Thor raised his hands in defense, “I’m just asking if she truly knows what she’s getting herself into! Don’t try and tell me she has no idea who you are.”
Steve was back to groaning nonstop. Bucky threw his hands up in the air, “I ask one thing of you guys. One thing.”
You stomped over to Steve and ripped the half-tied tie from his neck and smoothed down his collar. You patted down his shoulders and the front of his shirt, and gripped his shoulders to straighten his back. 
“Now,” you smiled up at him. The breath caught in your throat for a second, the blue of his eyes shining under the ceiling lights and the pink of his cheeks spreading slowly. You let out a tiny sigh, heart fluttering faintly from the small grin he was giving you. He looked so innocent, a renaissance subject created from light oils, signs of true aging showing in his forehead. “Whatever date you got planned, she’s gonna love it.”
Steve relished in the feeling of your palms pressed against his chest for a few moments before he nodded at your declaration. He stepped back and smoothed down his shirt. “Wish me luck?”
A chorus of ‘good luck’s sounded as Steve found his keys and shared a goodnight hug with Sam and Bucky. They both jokingly reminded him to use protection. 
You watched Steve leave, a newfound bounce in his step as he walked away. Your words had been so simple, so cliche, and yet he had dropped any visible nerves as he walked out the door. You weren’t the best motivational speaker, that was for sure, but the proof of at least an ounce of motivation was there. Maybe your words held a hidden meaning. Maybe.
You thought about him picking up this random woman, wine and dining her, kissing her cheek as he said his goodbyes at the end of the night. It was somewhat adorable to think about, but also weird.
Before you could dive more into the strange feeling, Thor’s voice sounded. 
“Should we order pizza or chinese?”
It’s like that snapped you from your trance, because next thing you knew you were back to your playful self, sprinting across the room and into Loki’s arms. 
     You cherished the slight, pleasant churn of your stomach as you watched him happily munch on the fruit. 
Okay, it was normal to have a tiny crush on your mission partner. God knows how many times you wanted to jump Thor’s bones whenever you were undercover together. A crush was normal, completely natural and expected. 
Except you had never gotten so much sane joy from a simple question of whether you wanted the last piece of fruit. 
You blinked a few times and shook off any trace of overthinking devils, grabbing at random files to occupy your mind for a while. After about fifteen more minutes of comfortable silence, you spoke.
“So, we think Ramirez is gonna get straight up murdered?”
Steve snorted, filing through a pile of papers Torres had delivered this morning. “I wouldn’t put it like that, but sure.”
“But it’s just a theory at this point. We can’t just go in guns blazing without enough proof.”
“And if there is proof? Do we protect him? The original mission was to arrest all four men.”
You groaned, “I don’t know. He’s never done me wrong.”
“Personal feelings aside, Y/N.”
“Ugh, fine. But I’m not gonna be happy about it.”
Steve squinted at you with a playful smile. “You’d rather just arrest the bad ones, huh?”
“Obviously what Ramirez is doing is illegal and it’s horrific to think of what might be happening behind the scenes on his side, but either he’s serious or he’s been putting on this good guy act for his whole life.”
“Leaning towards the first option?”
Shrugging, you leaned toward your computer screen and scrolled through the massive list of emails. “It’s what my gut tells me, but ehh.”
There was one random email from Maribel, but random only meant coded. Reading it over a couple times, humming to yourself in concentration, you finally cracked the code she was trying to send. 
“Maribel says Ramirez acquired some land in Mexico… lots of it.”
Steve looked up from the files, “Any significance?”
“It’s probably for growing the products.”
Steve quickly typed key words that would alert him of any new transactions in the past few months.  “Who’s on the title?”
“Just him. And his oldest daughter. My father must know, right?”
Steve leaned back in his chair, releasing a heavy sigh as he thought about what this could mean. “Ramirez acquiring more land means more of Ramirez’s product. A three-way partnership would be split unevenly if he utilizes the land.”
“Make sure Bucky alerts us of any business my father might have with realtors authorized to work in that area.”
It functioned like this for another hour, the two of you sharing bits of information every ten minutes or so. 
“Torres sent us an update on White.”
You rubbed at your strained eyes, “What does he say?”
Steve’s eyebrows raised, “That he’s been in the country for much longer than his passport says.”
You stood from your seat and rushed to look at the same screen Steve was reading from. “He traveling under a fake name?”
“Customs says he returned to Germany,” Steve stated, highlighting a paragraph on the screen for you to easily read. “Four weeks ago.”
It was your turn to snort out a laugh, “Oh, he’s so setting up an alibi.”
Steve nodded in agreement, “Looks like it.”
You slapped his shoulder lightly, voice raising an octave. “Look at us! Piecing together the puzzle!”
“We still got a few more pieces to attach before you go getting all cocky.”
You chuckled and decided to take a break. You speed walked over to your bed and plopped down, the mountain of pillows already relieving your tense muscles. “Hey, has my sister’s plane landed yet?”
Steve glanced at you quickly before pulling up Bucky’s morning emails. “Uh, landed about an hour ago.”
“She at the estate?”
He shrugged, “Torres hasn’t sent an update. Just her profile, hold up.”
You waved him off, a nonverbal way of telling him you seriously couldn’t care less. “I haven’t spoken to her since I joined you guys. You don’t gotta give me her origin story.”
“That long?” Steve questioned. 
You placed a pillow beneath your head, body horizontal and facing Steve. “We were never that close. I’ve got tons of half-siblings. Most of them were adults when I was born, anyway.”
With just a few words exchanged, Steve realized he had just stepped through your metaphorical door of reminiscing. So he stood to lay in his own bed, the simple action of giving you attention enough to keep you talking, he hoped. “Were you alone a lot? Growing up, I mean.”
You watched as Steve also placed a pillow beneath his head, “There were always kids around. Kids of the maids, cousins, neighbors.”
“A full house, sounds like.”
“Yeah,” you mumbled, a small smile forming as you thought about old friends. “I remember this one time, we all ran into Ramirez when we were trying to get to one of the playrooms. But he grabbed me quickly and told me to not go in there.”
“Was it a threat?”
You grinned at his protective tone, “No, it was a warning. There were some really bad men in the other room. It was me and a few other girls. He told us to run back to my room and lock the door until he came to get us.”
Steve couldn’t come up with a reasonable explanation as to why Ramirez joined the drug game. Sure, the function and presence of cartels had changed drastically over the last forty years, but it didn’t explain why he remained involved. In the eighties, the drug game was highly televised and spoken about, but the cartel violence was not as strong. Nowadays, and not even you could give a proper explanation, the violence was astronomical and basically advertised as something to expect when visiting certain countries. This was the mob game now, freaking Al Capone or the goddamn Godfather, absolutely meant to frighten whoever dare join or leave. For Ramirez to still be one of the big players even with that many internal changes, to be a good person in the middle of such hell, didn’t make any sense. 
“He protected you.”
You clutched the pillow closer to your chest, the memory a good one even if it was weird. “Oh, yeah. Those guys he was warning us about were no angels.”
Steve gave an awkward smile, “I feel like I know more about your childhood than you know mine.”
“I’m all ears if you wanna tell me about little, asthmatic Steve Rogers.”
He raised his index finger at you, “Hey, I was more than just my asthma.”
“Oh, excuse me. I totally forgot about your scoliosis.” 
The pillow under his head was now flying across the small distance to your face. You shrieked and sent it back. 
“Stop bullying!” Steve laughed.
You shielded your face in case he decided to continue the pillow war. “What? I’ve got my health problems, too! I just don’t have the serum to help me out.”
But he didn’t throw it again. He repositioned himself on his back and placed both hands beneath his head, gracing the ceiling with a grin. “I remember this one time, Bucky and I were around eleven-years old, and I had this really bad asthma attack. Bucky just freaked out. I was choking and he was just holding me, screaming for help -”
You blinked, “This is really depressing, what are you-”
“-and! Bucky threw himself into a full-blown panic attack. So we were both choking on air, but I was starting to laugh at him freaking out, which only made him choke harder. We ended up throwing up.”
You were silent at the end of his short story, mouth open in a wide smile. “I don’t know what else to say other than that was one of the greatest stories I’ve ever heard.”
Steve rolled over, a literal twinkle in his eye. “See? Don’t interrupt me before I get to the good parts.”
This simple moment catapulted the realization that Steve hasn’t spoken to you this much in two years, to the front of your mind. In these past four days, you had spoken like you had never stopped, like it was never awkward, like you two seriously didn’t need another person in the room to simply converse about what you wanted for breakfast. Yet here you were, more words exchanged in the past four days than you ever thought possible. 
After the fallout, you didn’t say one full sentence to him for seven months. Seven months. He hadn’t attempted a conversation with you either, but you actively avoided him like he was infected. Hell, he even moved out of the compound and into his own apartment to get away from you for most of the day. After your forced reconciliation, the awkward apologies, you still didn’t force any open conversation. But it was easier, lighter, and most conversations involved mission information. 
Talking this much now was so easy, so simple, like you didn’t need to force the comfort - there was already full comfort, a sense of community with this man. 
He was so different from when he insulted you while you were packing, annoyed by the fact that you pried too much. And now you were prying into his childhood and him yours without a lick of annoyance on either side. 
“We both had eventful childhoods, didn’t we?”
“What, with both of us in the middle of a war?” Steve asked, a genuine look on his face.
“Guess our wars never really left us, huh?”
There was a knock at the door. You weren’t expecting Torres again today. Steve muttered ‘room service, maybe’ under his breath as you went to open it. You were startled to find Scott standing outside, two massive suitcases in his hand. 
“Oh my god, I forgot you were arriving today!”
Scott scoffed, “Am I not as important as your other friends?”
You laughed and helped him inside, “Stop! You’re one of my favorite bugs!”
“Ha ha. Very funny. I’ll leave right now if you two decide to pile on me instead of each other.” Scott placed one of the suitcases near the door but the other at the edge of your bed. 
“We’ll be nice,” Steve promised, standing to greet Scott with a hug. 
“You better. Catch me up, please?” 
The suitcase contained your outfits for the rehearsal dinner and the wedding. Whoever was in charge of costumes definitely went all out, hoping their work would make the big fight the most fashionable. Steve was given a perfectly tailored suit, navy blue and velvet. It was lined with vibranium, inside pockets covered with it. That would certainly be handy if you were forced to walk through metal detectors - vibranium couldn’t be detected. His suit for the rehearsal dinner was a lot simpler, the custom black and white aesthetic, but still protected with vibranium. 
Your clothes were certainly not styled to match Steve’s, giving you a sense of individuality. It was perfect really - it would allow you to leave Steve’s side, if necessary, when the mission called for you to split up. Your rehearsal dinner outfit was two parts: a black, velvet long-sleeved shirt, slight turtleneck, and gold cuffs. It was joined by a long gold skirt, high-waisted, the front shorter than the back and sides more curled than ruffled. You would have to wear tights underneath, but it was beautiful. Vibranium was also stitched in for added protection. Your dress for the actual wedding, however, was a total knockout. Red, spaghetti strap, tight on top but loose once it reached your hips, a long slit on the left side. They were even kind enough to give you a pair of heels to match. 
Yeah, Steve was Captain America and his appearance will shock the guests, but your attire will definitely be the second topic in gossip. 
Scott was filing through the same papers you and Steve had reviewed earlier, a bowl of potato chips at his side. And it was peaceful - you and Steve even had the chance to nap. 
“So, you’re gonna see Jackeline at the rehearsal dinner?”
You wiped the remnants of your nap from your face and groaned as you stretched, “She’ll probably be busy tomorrow when we go for breakfast, so yeah.”
Scott shifted uncomfortably in his seat, eyes practically attached to the computer screen. “And… she’s the one getting married?”
His tone started to worry Steve, “Yes, Scott. You good?”
Scott piled a handful of potato chips in his mouth, finger clicking the mouse every few seconds. His eyes were now wide, blinks forgotten. “Jackeline Vega. Jackeline.”
Steve ignored him now, “Hey, why isn’t your last name Vega?”
As much as you wanted to share about how and why you changed your last name, Scott’s demeanor interested you more. “Changed it when I became an American citizen - Scott, what’s up?”
He let out a tiny squeak, swallowing his snack quickly. “And she’s your father’s favorite?”
You rolled your eyes, “Mmm.”
Scott released a huge huff of air, shoulders falling as he raised his voice and turned the monitor to face you. “Think he knows anything about this?”
The photograph was blurry because it was enhanced, but you could still make out the face of a sister you hadn’t seen in years. Older, still with teenage features obviously, and tossed on what looked like a church alter-
Steve's eyes widened, “Is she…?”
Scott finished his sentence for him, “Fucking a priest?”
You covered your mouth in shock, “Oh my god, she’s fucking a priest!”
Bent on the literal church altar, skirt bunched around her hips, head thrown back in ecstasy and face in full view. And the damned priest, in between her legs and under the eyes of god. 
“That’s why I asked!”
Steve clutched at his chest, head thrown back as he howled, “I think you were wrong about your sister.”
Now your eyes were glued to the screen, “Oh, I was fuck all from correct!”
Scott cleared his throat, “Is the priest… her fiance?”
Steve came down from his laugh attack, “I highly doubt that, Scott.”
“This is actually really damning evidence.”
You grinned at Scott, “For what? Painting her out to look like the most sinful whore? I might just congratulate her.”
Steve stared at you, judging almost. “For fucking a priest?”
“For proving me wrong. She’s not so innocent after all,” you responded, cheeks strained from how wide you were smiling. 
“Clearly. This is… actually badass,” Scott admitted, turning the monitor back to him.
You teased, singing your next words. “Don’t let the Lord and Savior hear that.”
Steve glared, “Y/N.”
You leaned away from him, “What? Anyway, that’s gotta be one the worst sins to commit, right?”
Steve’s expression contorted from annoyance to disbelief. “We’ve literally killed people.”
“Pfft, but we’re not fucking priests. Right?”
Scott answered, nodding quicker than he needed to. “Right.”
“You’re literally asking that?”
You pressed your lips into a fine line and tilted your head at Steve. “Steve?”
He glared at you for a long moment before slowly shaking his head. “I’m not fucking any priests.”
Your response was immediate, “Alright! I gotta hand it to her, though. Who took the photo?”
Scott went back to fishing through the emails. “Some sleazy magazine that never got around to actually printing these out.”
“Someone paid them off. Or killed them.”
“I wonder who,” you replied sarcastically. 
Steve continued, “You honestly think he would support her doing that?”
You shrugged and scurried back over to your unmade bed. “Not my problem.”
Scott interjected, “Okay, okay. How’s tomorrow gonna work?”
Steve answered first, “Well, we’re driving out around eight.”
You hummed in agreement, reaching over to unplug your phone from the charger. “Scott, you’ll just ride on one of our backs as we walk through the estate.”
“I kind of want to ride Y/N’s back this time.”
You snorted, “Now that doesn’t sound sexual at all.”
He hid his face in his hands, “You know, I heard it once I said it.”
“Course you did.”
Steve jumped back into the conversation, Scott’s embarrassment seeming to grow under the weird tension. “Then you’ll hop off and plant the bugs wherever you feel like they’re needed.”
“Easy peasy!” you cheered. 
“Bucky and Sam gonna meet us Friday night?”
Steve nodded, “That’s what they said.” He looked over at you, scrolling through your phone and already smiling at something you found funny. He cleared his throat to get your attention. “You know they can be out here in under an hour if we seriously need them.”
You glanced over at Steve, his sincerity greatly appreciated. “I know. But all my faith is in Scott here.”
Scott moaned quietly, “Oh… no, let’s not put all the faith in me because I can’t handle that responsibility.”
You propped yourself up onto your elbows, “You saying I can’t trust you?”
“No, no! That’s not what I’m saying at all-!”
Steve rolled his eyes and looked at the man, a sheen of nervous sweat starting to form on his forehead. “Scott.” 
Scott lowered his hands from his chest, “O-oh. She’s messing with me, huh?”
You chuckled and laid back down. “You’re so easy.”
The easygoing atmosphere for the next few hours almost had you believing you were on vacation, away from the bad guys and space aliens for just a moment. Almost like you weren’t in the middle of a drug war, a mob business, the literal daughter of a king. Scott had that effect, his personality such a sweet refresher and such a contrast to every soul in the compound. 
Thor and Peter were also sweethearts and fun was always expected when they were around, but Scott had this different vibe. Maybe it was because he was relatively new, or that he had a child, or that he hadn’t suffered the same five years as everyone else did. Like he wasn’t yet tainted.  
“You guys mind if I run a job inside a job?”
Your head snapped up at Scott’s crazy question, “You stealing something?”
To run a job inside a job was risky. There was no exact plan to keep both missions balanced, to somehow rank the other more important. You prayed it wasn’t something insane. 
Scott chuckled under his breath, already grabbing his jacket and suitcase by the door. “No, I’m not stealing something. Hank needs me to speak to some guy he’s doing negotiations with about a space for a new lab headquarters.”
Steve tilted his head, “In Northern California?”
“Nah, the dude is vacationing out here for the time being. The lab will be in San Francisco again.”
You squinted at him, still cautious. “Where you meeting him?”
“Some nice Italian restaurant an hour out.”
Steve spoke before you did, similar thoughts running through his mind. “You check with Torres? We don’t know who might randomly show up there.”
Scott tried his best to reassure you, “Yeah, he said they’re following every car that leaves the premises and travels more than thirty minutes away. None of Ernesto’s men have been spotted further up north.”
You sighed. You didn’t want another member of your team to venture out in this area, let alone this goddamn state, without your eyes on them. You were protective, the proximity of your outside world with the one you had spent ten years building too suffocating of a reality. 
Still, you told Scott goodbye with a steady voice. “Then enjoy your dinner, Scott.”
His voice picked up again, that childish and upbeat feeling wrapping you around his finger. “You guys wanna come with? I’m sure you’re sick of icky hotel food.”
Steve waved him off, “It’s actually not that bad-”
“Breadsticks. Garlic pasta. More breadsticks.”
You laughed, “That sounds nice, Scott but we can stay here-”
“Three-cheese pastas.”
“Scott, you can try all you want but-”
“Unlimited breadsticks.”
You shared a look at Steve, puckering your lips at the suggestion. 
“.... We’ll sit far away from your table, okay?”
Scott opened the hotel door and started sprinting down the hallway. “I knew I could persuade you with that! C’mon!”
     California at night was a death trap. Potholes on every stretch of asphalt, construction halted for who knows how long, random opossums lingering in the shadows just waiting to get hit by tires. It was prettier during the day - less of a ‘lead me into this forest, yes, kill me’ vibe. 
You chilled in the backseat while Scott drove you guys to the restaurant. You had texted Bucky where you were planning to go, the message activating the group text chain. 
Peter: it’s Wednesday! Who died?
Wanda: she’s literally texting us
Peter: Y/N, you won???
Bucky: fuck do I owe the fucking spider money?
Peter: pay up dude
Y/N: tf Bucky? You bet against me?
      “You sure you two are good?”
The restaurant looked quiet considering it was a Wednesday night, but it was still crowded. There was a short line extending out the door and a… bouncer. You sucked in a breath and smacked Scott in the chest once you were out of the car. 
“Thought you said this was a restaurant?”
Scott rubbed his chest, a look of disbelief spreading across his face. “Restaurant slash bar!”
“We eating with the Italian mob now? I can only handle one mob at a time, Scott.”
You nodded rapidly, pointing at Steve. “I agree with him!”
“Not every place has bad guys!”
You groaned and reluctantly stood at the back of line, pulling Steve’s hat lower on his forehead. It wasn’t like people couldn’t take one long, hard look at him and not know who he was, anyway. 
“Can you guys just… enjoy a night out?”
“While on a mission?”
“While living your long lives. God, Y/N, you getting old already?”
Your mouth dropped, “I’m twenty-six and I’m not complaining about a nice dinner, Scott.” You pointed at the bouncer. “I’m worried about the fact that our ID’s are gonna be checked.”
Scott’s mouth formed an ‘O’. “Yeah, that.”
“Next.”
You shot Steve a worried look but handed the bouncer your driver’s license. He just looked at the date of birth and moved you along. “Next.”
Scott handed him his, doing his best to smile proudly while the bouncer scanned him up and down. “Next.”
“See? Wasn’t so hard,” Scott joked, standing next to you in the far corner of the entrance. 
You rolled your eyes, “Wait.”
The bouncer took one look at Steve’s ID and gasped. Steve looked anywhere but the bouncer’s eyes, his bottom lip suffering the abuse of his incisors. 
“Cap-Captain?”
Steve gave a sheepish grin, lowering his cap further. “Uh, yeah.”
“Enjoying your day?”
You pinched your nose. 
“Would like it a lot more if you could lead us to a table with as much privacy as you can offer.”
You had to hand it to Steve for taking advantage of situations like this. 
The bouncer agreed immediately, speaking with the manager and promising discretion. The manager said it was no problem, that it was the least he could do for you guys after you brought his son back to him after those rough five years. 
The restaurant offered a somewhat real Italian setting, awarding their guests with as much real scenery and architecture it could. You could only compare it to the Venetian in Vegas as you had never actually been to Italy, but the live band and garlic smell was enough to transport you. 
The lights were low, older couples enjoying the food and wine, and there was a small bar near the back of the restaurant. It wasn’t really a place for some shady business, but years of experience let you know that wasn’t always the case. It was second nature to eye women reaching into their purses, only to pull out a pack of gum. Second nature to wince at the sound of a loud laugh cutting through the quiet atmosphere. 
As promised, you were led to a more private area of the restaurant, closer to the bar than to the band. 
“Go run the job, Scott. We’ll just be enjoying our unlimited breadsticks,” you said, letting out a heavy and relaxed sigh as you settled into the private booth. 
“That hat isn't really hiding those broad shoulders, Cap,” Scott laughed, slapping Steve on the back.
Steve slid into the same booth, ignoring the completely empty seat across from you. “Thanks, Scott. I’m aware.”
You tried to hide your blush as you squeezed deeper in your seat. Scott noticed though, side eyeing Steve who was none the wiser. “You know, I told him that he should have used those facial changing things SHIELD used to have.”
Steve grabbed the offered utensils and started unwrapping them from their napkins. 
“What are we if not superheroes who think a baseball cap and glasses hide our identities?” you teased, shooting Scott a quick wink. 
Steve answered almost triumphantly, “Uh, Superman?”
You giggled and grabbed the napkin he had unwrapped for you. “I’d argue Thor is more like Superman, but okay.”
“How am I not more like Superman? What-”
“Uh, guys? I see the dude so I’m gonna go. You two enjoy your meal,” Scott interrupted, running off to a booth located toward the middle of the restaurant. 
You sat for a few awkward moments before you squinted and looked at Steve, who was sitting to your left and way too close. “Are we annoying?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, like,” you spoke with your hands, “you and I bicker a lot because we love to annoy each other but you think it gets on other people’s nerves?”
Steve chuckled, rubbing his shoulder with yours. “Do you really care if it does?”
That blush of yours was starting to feel warmer. “No, just wondering if you felt that way.”
He shrugged, “I quite like our relationship.”
“Oh,” you smiled, looking down at your lap.  “I quite liked it more a few years back but you know.” 
He immediately tensed, body leaning away from you as if you were burning him. You shut your eyes and shook your head. “Sorry, that was low.”
He sighed deeply, “No, I deserve it. I’ll always deserve it.”
You took a risk and reached for his hand, squeezing gently. The kind gesture seemed to calm him, and he looked back at you. “I still shouldn’t have said it.”
He accepted that, and handed you the menu. 
The hotel food was grand, it did its job of filling you up and providing the necessary nutrients, but there was just something about the carbs in pasta and bread. It ignited the food critic inside you, because now you were cursing the hotel chef and dreading having to order breakfast in the morning. No, dinner. You were having breakfast with your father tomorrow. 
Scott was busy conducting his own business, bluetooth turned off but still glancing over his shoulder once in a while to check on you guys. Each time he did, he felt butterflies flutter in his breadstick-filled stomach. It was the first time he had seen the two of you so carefree, let alone with each other, and it was the most refreshing thing in the world. 
Steve was in the middle of telling another childhood story, his main plate already finished and practically licked clean. But the unlimited breadsticks were coming out by the pound, a new stick in each of your hands every five minutes. 
“I swear, she loved Bucky more than me!”
You covered your mouth and chewed, careful to not let anything through because of your giggle fit. “Steve! Your mother did not!”
Steve wiped at his under eye, clutching his chest as he continued explaining. “Bucky was always around and my mom would just linger every second she wasn’t working!”
“Bet she loved him.”
“See?”
“No, I mean she must have loved him like her own! Bucky was your best friend, your only friend. She probably thought of him like an angel sent from God!” you clarified. 
Steve smiled wider at your cheesy explanation. They were happy memories, joyful ones that he would often think about while writing or drawing. 
He continued with a soft confession. “I really wish I could see her again.”
You leaned your temple on your palm, “From everything you’ve shared with me, she sounds lovely.”
“She would have loved you.” The blush was back, and so was Steve’s, almost like those words were supposed to be kept in the back of his head. He cleared his throat. “God, she was so destroyed when Bucky first got his orders.”
“Was Bucky scared?”
“Scared? Absolutely fucking terrified. We talked about running away and changing our names so he didn’t have to go.”
The draft was such a horrible practice. The fact that men still had to enlist and hope no ‘necessary’ war was upon them. It was quite reassuring to know most of those men wouldn’t have to see battle today, they were given a choice, and there were agencies that managed people who could, like the Avengers. 
“Steve…”
Steve just hummed softly, “Life in the forties, am I right?
Your voice also got quieter. “Why didn’t you run away?”
Steve huffed out a laugh, swallowing the last of his bread. “We tried. Got all the way to the edge of town before Bucky’s dad wrung us both back to kick our asses.”
Almost out of instinct, you gripped his hand again. You rubbed soothing circles into his knuckles, knuckles that hadn’t seen hand-to-hand combat in so long. There wasn’t much danger in the world nowadays, just small missions here and there. It wasn’t like the team was itching for another alien invasion. But these periods of well needed rest were odd, periods where bruises completely healed up and little pockets of weight were gained. Steve’s knuckles were soft, only having seen the ends of paintbrushes for a long while. 
 “...Where’s your mother?”
His voice snapped you from your thoughts, and you had to repeat the question in your own head a couple times. 
“It’s not a happy story.”
There wasn’t much of a story anyway. 
“But is it a story you need to get off your chest?”
Steve didn’t want to push too hard. The long pause in your relationship definitely didn’t soften this blow, and it only added to the strings of resistance. If you decided not to tell Steve about this, Steve would have to accept it. If anything, this was one of the toughest questions to ask someone when all you’ve been doing is ignoring them for two years. 
“Not really much to get rid of.”
He nodded, only a slight hint of disappointment laced within his words. “You don’t have to tell me.”
Natasha was the only one with any knowledge of your mom. There was never an actual moment in which you freely spoke of her - inserting her likeness, her person, back into some alternate and fucked-up reality - you kept her legacy dead. It was obvious she hadn’t enjoyed this part of her life, no doubt it absolutely killed her to leave you trapped in it, so keeping her dead, even in conversation, was a favor. 
But one drunken night and you were showing Natasha the one photo you had of her, stuffed deep in your wallet and crinkled beyond repair. Her black hair to her shoulders, lip liner a darker shade than her lipstick, hands intertwined behind her back as she arched forward in a playful tilt, shooting the camera a smile that was stuck around the word she was saying as the candid was taken. There was no recorded voice but you had a record of her movement, frozen in time.     
Steve’s sincerity grasped you by the literal roots of your hair, because next thing you knew you were spilling the first thought you had. 
“She was twenty-three. Working as a real estate agent, very beautiful, and she was engaged. To an American.”
Steve chuckled around his champagne glass, “Was that bad?”
You grinned at that, like he was already fully and deeply invested in your story. “Not necessarily. But everyone knew she was taken.”
“And your father?”
“He wanted to buy some houses. Saw her, wanted her, tried persuading her into going on a date. Nothing really worked, she didn’t accept his money or gifts.”
Steve fumbled over his next words. “Did she eventually?”
“No, but her brother did. My father didn’t know it was her brother, so he thought she was accepting them. Got mad when she still refused his advances.”
He was digesting this little by little. Steve had heard horror stories of girls he grew up with, forced to marry at a young age when they were caught in a passionate moment with a man, or when they ended up pregnant. Bucky and his mother had always instructed him to treat women with respect, to never intentionally or accidentally ruin their reputation, to protect and use his voice to stand up for them. And although women weren’t getting frisky with him when he was all but ninety pounds at the ripe age of twenty, that didn’t stop Steve from exchanging a few words and punches with men who had no right.  “How did they end up together?”
You shrugged, reaching over for another breadstick. “No one knows. He invited her to a party one day and she didn’t come back for a whole week. Next thing her family knows she’s engaged to my father and no longer with the love of her life.”
“That’s awful.”
“Yeah, her family had no choice but to accept that. Her poor fiance, though.” 
“Where is he now?”
Steve had this weird hope that the fiance may still be alive somewhere, waiting for your mother to find him. But that was just the hopeless romantic emerging. 
You sighed deeply, “My father told my mother he killed him. My mother believed him.”
“So, he’s still alive? He didn’t hurt him?”
“Apparently he’s still kicking, yeah. But my mom became severely depressed from that lie.”
The restaurant felt colder and the air became thinner. Steve didn’t want his next thought to be true. “She didn’t...?”
You shook your head quickly, “No, she found out he was alive.” Even if you weren’t witness to it, you could still imagine your mother charting the areas she would have to run and swim through to get away. Wasn’t like it was a heartfelt thought, but the mere fact that she had that much determination to risk her life for love, it was somewhat therapeutic to think about. Like it was genuinely satisfying to imagine her defying your father. Still, your face drooped as you gave Steve the sad conclusion. “She didn’t even make it across the border before he had her killed for betraying him.”
His face fell in time with yours, “Fuck.”
“She left me with Maribel’s mother. But my father found me and told me she had an accident. Didn’t find out the truth until I was thirteen.”
“I’m so sorry.”
You shoved his shoulder with yours, a light chuckle cutting through the sad moment. “Not like you had a hand in this, Steve. It’s just my life.”
You were used to Steve’s generosity, his ability to make any person feel a part of his family - you had been on the receiving end of his sincerity for the past week now. But as you held his gaze, his body seemingly towering over yours, your chest flushed with such warmness, a tranquil promise of safety. He leaned forward, breath hitting your cheeks, hand still gripping yours. 
“Not anymore. We’ll end this, Y/N. I promise you, we’ll end this.”
You took a risk and rested your forehead on his, his continuous promise still causing your stomach to twist pleasurably. “How’d we get so sad all of a sudden?” You pushed away and threw your arms in the air. “We need more breadsticks!”
Steve laughed loudly, the private booth still providing somewhat of a thin curtain to the other diners. “No, we need mints!”
Rolling your eyes, you blew your breath at Steve teasingly. “Weak.”
Steve groaned, “You and Scott are not getting into the car without chewing on a mint.”
“You got a thing against bad breath?”
“Take the mint.”
“I’m gonna fight you if you force the mint on me.”
He was reaching into his jacket and pulling the small case out. He winked at you. “I’ll win.”
He popped open the cap and held it out to you. He didn’t tip it though, as if he was waiting for you to extend your palm. Everything was silent for a minute, eyes challenging one another. 
He could easily lean in. He could easily just tilt his head a little to his left and capture your lips with his. Every damn molecule in his body was telling him to do it, every bubble from that champagne somehow giving him some extra courage. 
Your breath hitched slightly, and he leaned away. I’m such a coward, he thought.
You reacted swiftly, disguising the awkwardness. “You’re right, give me the mint. You should swallow like three.”
Steve snickered, “You ruined the moment.”
But you didn’t ruin the moment. And he just blamed you for it. Like he had already established - he was a coward. 
You grabbed the mints he offered and popped them into your mouth. “What moment? I didn’t see any moment.”
Okay, he could just lean in right now and hope the mint freshness in your mouth would mask the garlic in his. Yeah, he could just lean in and do what he’s been thinking of doing for the last day and a half-
“Hey, you guys finished? Getting dessert?”
Steve almost shot from his seat, “Jesus fucking christ, Scott!”
Scott slid into the seat across from you. “You scare easily. Let’s get dessert!” 
You were too flustered. Fine, okay. You’ll play along. If the gods want to reward you with this fun Steve, the Steve you were closest to years ago, then so be it. You’ll bite. And if he wants to resort back to his bitchy self, his hermit behavior, then you’ll fight him then. 
Scott ordered so much dessert. 
So much. 
The little moment you had with Steve was still fresh, you could sense he was thinking about it too, but you opted to simply enjoy the night out. You were here with two friends, protection was just a phone call away, and you were safe. 
Perhaps Scott had the same effect on Steve that he had on you. Absolutely demolished his ‘Captain’ self and released the guy who simply wanted to enjoy a mini road trip with his friends. 
     You were barely fifteen minutes into your ride home when Scott lowered the windows and turned the radio up high. 
“Woohoo!”
You screamed over the loud roar of the wind, “Scott, it’s fucking freezing!”
Scott yelled back, “We just had three desserts each! Your blood should be running warm!”
You blinked away the dryness, “Dude!”
Steve, surprisingly, agreed with Scott. “Enjoy it!”
Your mouth dropped open and you followed Steve’s movements as he turned the radio higher. 
The music blared and you were about to protest again, the air literally nipping at your sensitive cheeks, but the song that started was a non-skip. 
You would indulge in this childishness once. 
Once. 
You reached around the passenger seat and gripped Steve’s shoulders, shaking him in place. “Ah, California radio giving us the classics!”
Scott leaned over and turned it up higher. 
You swayed in your seat and sang along with Scott. “Bidi bidi bom bom!”
Scott pointed at you and recited the lyrics, “Bidi, bidi!”
Both of you sang, “Bom!”
Even with his eyes on the road, Scott was nailing some good dance moves in his seat. You both sang each lyric with your heart and soul, laughs escaping during the guitar breaks. 
Steve just enjoyed the show. He didn’t know the song, the melody a foreign one for him, but it must have been popular for both you and Scott to know it. He watched you sway in your seat, hands dancing and voice matching the volume of the radio. Just the other night, you had mentioned how you never sang anymore.
But here you were, singing through the most beautiful smile Steve had ever seen. 
He missed the sound of it. He missed hearing you sing in your room, no doubt you were dancing too since he usually heard your feet shuffling against your carpet. He missed the innocence you would casually portray, an invitation for anyone to befriend you. He missed teasing you lightly, and he regretted the roughness of his voice years later. He missed just walking into the common area and finding you there, cooking for yourself and anyone who wanted a plate - that plate usually for him. He missed you. 
You were right here, voice hitting those octaves Steve didn’t think he would ever hear again. You were right here, and he missed you. 
      Scott was staying in a separate room. The dessert and alcohol had run right through him, and he bid you goodnight after he threatened to plop down in your bed if you invited him in. 
The sound of Scott’s retreating footsteps seemed to suck all the air from the vents at once, whispering its song lovingly in your ear. It was both refreshing and terrifying to be left alone because now here you were, standing outside your hotel door with the super soldier you had gone to Hell and back with. 
You inwardly cringed, the tightness in your chest sending your childish ass back to sophomore year of college. A first date, the lost promise of another - a proper teenage reaction to a crush. But this man in front of you wouldn’t let you delete his number from your phone; he wouldn’t avoid eye contact in the dining hall; he wouldn’t sit at the back of the lecture hall just to keep a necessary distance. 
Granted, Elijah - poor, frightened Elijah - had seen you literally kidnap someone off the street under your father’s orders. This being before you went straight and moral, before you had met Fury, before SHIELD training. You were to blame for that sprouting relationship going south pretty quickly. So you avoided him, too - praying Ernesto or Seda could never track him. 
But Steve, beautiful Steve who reloaded your guns when you couldn’t, who jumped in front of stray bullets for you and those he loved, Steve who very quietly asked you for various salsa recipes when he was in the mood to cook. Here he was, eyes also watching Scott walk away, no doubt experiencing the same tight coil within his chest. He hadn’t run, he had worked and fought with and against you, and he wasn’t running away. 
No, Steve Rogers never ran. 
The low beep from the hotel lock snapped you from your thoughts. You sensed his hesitance because when your history was truly reviewed with the most unbiased of minds, there was absolutely no reason to overthink. Hell, when you ran through the halls of Thor’s Asgardian palace with Rocket tailing you, the first joke out your mouth was how Steve would probably instruct you to respect a place like that and speed walk. Your first thought when starting the pilot episode of a new show is to wait for Bucky… and Steve, who would pop the kernels over the stove and add real salt and butter. 
His first thought as he helped load people onto the planes in Sokovia was that your whiny ass better be on one of them. Or when Steve regrouped in the support circle, his first thought before he continued the discussion was that he really hoped you would walk through those doors and join - until one day you did. 
Whether the two of you recognized the severity of your unspoken feelings, they were there. Silent and at a gradual increase. Never rushed, not entirely obvious because of the temporary roadblocks of unnecessary separation. 
Steve was here in front of you, like he always was, and he was wearing the smallest nervous smile you had ever seen.  
And you were here in front of him, like you always were, and he could not entirely read the mixed emotions on your delicate face. 
You shuffled alongside your bed, stopping to shrug out of the heavy jacket you had on. “We should turn in early so we can be well-rested, in case we gotta fight tomorrow.”
Steve nodded in agreement but remained silent, hovering near the coffee table and monitors. Your back was facing him and he just watched you fumble with your boots and belt. It was like your back was on fire, bursting with fueled flames as you could literally feel his gaze boring into you. The overwhelming urge to simply snap and ask him what the hell he was looking at was strong, so in character, but you refrained. It was too intimate, too quiet, but before you could even ask him if he wanted the shower first, the warmth of his chest was near, inches away and calling. 
Your breath hitched, shoulders rising slightly and exactly what Steve needed to witness. It was awkward for him to just stand behind you with no actual intention of touching you first - no, he needed a proper signal. So Steve waited those few precious seconds more until you turned, sun-kissed by the California sun and hair no longer in tight curls, before he glanced down at your glossy lips. You followed his eyesight, all knowing in his intentions, and you glanced at his lips as well. 
A gesture of approval. 
Steve pulled you in, both hands settling on your cheeks, thumbs exploring the corners of your mouth. He watched them dance and how your mouth parted slightly in response. He looked back up, studying the small crease forming in between your eyebrows and the pinch of water filling the inside corners of your eyes.
His thumbs felt like a gentle sigh, a promise of a sweet caress in both the daytime and dead of night. Although all his focus was on you, his own features reacted to the moment. His lips were also parted, sweet breath with the scent of those classic tiramisu’s he had devoured, touching the tip of your nose and equally trembling lips. 
So goddamn intimate that you found yourself internally cursing those sitcoms Wanda had forced you to binge watch. Because the two love interests, albeit they had several months or years of growing tension, rushed into their first kiss for the sake of limited airtime. They didn’t prepare you for practically a ten-year build-up, a relationship that was both heavily work and friend related, the slowness of such a moment fans would most certainly be jumping out of their seats for. No, nothing could have prepared you for the warmth of Steve Rogers. 
Your Captain. 
You registered the soft feeling of his lips as they pressed against yours, overlapped only slightly. Eyes now fully closed in surprise and pleasure, you leaned into it more, hands placed on Steve’s rising chest. The squeeze of his hands cupping your cheeks caused your lips to pucker more, but you were relaxed in his desperate touch. He tilted his head a little to the left, your lips sliding against each other’s and noses bumping. Steve frowned in concentration, pouring whatever emotions he had felt throughout the last few years into this one kiss, and he knew he couldn’t possibly fully portray them. And almost as quickly as you thought about how sweet and innocent of a kiss this was, Steve’s tongue slowly peaked out from behind his teeth and greeted your bottom lip. 
His tongue traced over your bottom lip warmly, welcomed by yours as you followed his lead. God, you would always follow his lead. 
You tried to move in closer, but your elbows were already bent fully against him and his hips were only a few inches from your greedy ones. One tiny step forward and you would be completely flushed against him - but you chose to respect the distance Steve created. 
You let out a quiet whine, body shuddering as Steve applied more pressure. It was as if Steve had never heard such a sound - completely unexpected and causing him to pause momentarily. He leaned away a little, lips still barely kissing yours. He opened his eyes, gaze wandering from your flushed cheeks still squeezed between his palms and to your fluttering eyelids. The crease between his eyebrows deepened as he debated leaning forward again, to be selfish for once and to pass forth the trophy for ‘waiting too long’. But as you opened your eyes, no trace of regret or hate swimming inside your irises, Steve froze. 
You were his friend. His friend who teased him about the paint streaks across his forehead, who followed his lead no matter how ridiculous the order. 
He didn’t want you to inspect him further as well, so he shut his eyes and rested his forehead against yours. It was only then that he felt you settle back down from your tippy-toes. 
You gulped loudly, throat dry and lips instantly craving him again. “Steve…”
Steve let go of your face and dragged his hands lightly down your neck, leaving goosebumps in their wake. He turned his head slightly, his breath now kissing your cheek. Although your cheeks were red, the absence of Steve’s palms made them cold. 
He took a small step back, hands straining to stay on your skin as he reluctantly pulled them away. The absence of any warmth finally woke you from that intense daze and you frowned at Steve as he pulled away altogether. The instinct to reach out was there, and you cursed yourself for being so clingy. 
“Steve?” you called again, voice hoarse but light enough to pinch at Steve’s fast beating heart. 
He looked up and locked eyes with your confused ones. Oh, you’re gonna hate him for this. 
He gave you a small and kind smile, one you had seen plenty of times when he was actually enjoying your company. He backed up to the door, gaze never leaving yours even as he reached for the handle and key card. 
And he wanted to bring his hands back to your face to rub away that wrinkle between your furrowing eyebrows. But he simply opened the door and left you standing near the edge of your bed, flushed with a deep sense of longing and growing confusion. 
Steve already knew the amount of heat he would receive from the moment gossip of the kiss spread. Whether he was first to tell or you were. Bucky’s going to kick his ass, for sure, no doubt about it. No matter his bond with Bucky, it could never excuse leaving you alone to unravel this situation. You had this hold over Bucky, a soft mutual understanding of mental torture, so this inevitable ass kicking would be justified. Plus, after years of being rejected over and over, mostly in the forties, Bucky might just kick his ass for simply being a dumbass. 
But Steve felt calm, an added relaxation due to the whiskey cooling in his hand. If there was anything Steve was an expert in, it was overthinking. You two had that in common - were you overthinking while absentmindedly watching TV? Overthinking while rubbing shampoo into your scalp? Overthinking while angrily stomping your way down to the hotel bar to hand his ass back over to him?
He let out a sigh of relief when he didn’t see you burst through the doors. 
      “Anyone wanna start?”
Steve glanced around the circle of familiar and new faces. The group varied each week. Some people would try, share their anecdotes about lost loved ones, only to never show up for another session. Others often attended and never spoke, but they kept returning. Steve didn’t judge their choices - he couldn’t. No matter how many mornings he wanted to crawl back under the sheets and binge eat packaged foods, he never could. He had been at this job for two years. There was both pain and satisfaction in what he did. Sam would be doing this if he were here. 
And he had to do this for Sam. 
“My divorce was finalized yesterday.”
Steve looked over at the man who spoke first, a long-time member of this particular support group, and grimaced at his confession. The man couldn’t have been more than thirty, no wrinkles or gray hair, and he was ending a two-year marriage. 
“I’m sorry, Michael.”
The man, Michael, shrugged sadly, “We still love each other, man. But seeing your newborn disintegrate in your arms does something to your soul that’s just… we both knew we needed to move on. Even if it was from each other.”
Steve squeezed the small, red stress ball in his hand and tried to offer more condolences and a kind smile, but it came out rather painful. He opted to stay silent in case Michael wanted to continue. Instead, another member decided to comment. 
It went like this for almost an hour with Steve adding in his empathetic words of wisdom whenever he saw appropriate. It was good for everyone to share so openly, to carry the conversation with minimal involvement from Steve. Steve had shared snippets of his story with the group awhile back, careful to not mention the gruesome specifics. He had let out as much as he was able, not as much as he would have liked, but his main job was to facilitate. Besides, Steve went to confession every month to talk to someone - anyone - even if he wasn’t necessarily Catholic. But that’s just the thing - no one knew who they were anymore. 
The sound of a scraping chair leg caught everyone’s attention, and they all turned to the entrance in search of the disruption. You paused in your movements, face scrunched in embarrassment. Opening one eye, you mouthed a quick apology and rushed to carry the chair to the circle. 
“I’m sorry I’m late. Subway was a bitch,” you muttered, your embarrassed smile growing wider. 
For over a year, Steve had subtly urged you to attend one of these meetings. He was witness to your nightmares, your destructive solo missions that even Friday had no records of, and your sudden breakdown last week. You were casually jogging around the outdoor track when you suddenly stopped and fell to your knees, broken sobs seeming to shake the trees around you. You were crouched for a good minute before Steve had seen you wipe your eyes and continue your jog. As if nothing happened. 
To see you here, whether to share or to listen, prompted the proud and erratic beating of Steve’s heart. 
“It’s completely fine. Time’s almost up but we still got time for you.”
You sent Steve a funny smile, amused by his professional tone. “Uh, yeah! A friend convinced me to come. He was pretty persuasive.”
Steve blushed, head tilting downward. 
You introduced yourself and let the group know you were also an Avenger. No one seemed shocked and you were suddenly grateful for this mixture of people. 
Steve sat and listened, his nerves settling. 
“I’m gonna be honest with you all,” you started, thumbs dancing in your lap. “And I’m not sure how you’ll react.”
Steve sat up straight, eyebrows scrunching as he listened intently. 
You sighed, wetting your lips briefly. “The day before the snap, I was supposed to die.”
You wanted to avoid Steve’s gaze until the right moment. You continued, “I went on a mission to Mexico. Alone, which was completely against protocol but hey, we broke a lot more rules than that.”
Steve cleared his throat which earned a chorus of chuckles from the group. 
“And I was technically on house arrest but I found out a way to temporarily disable that ankle monitor,” you added, grinning from the laughs you were receiving. 
“Anyway, all my potential backup was nonexistent. I had friends on the run,” you paused, glancing at Steve with a somber expression. “And other friends literally fighting another battle on their home planet somewhere in space. So, I went alone.”
“While I was bleeding out from a bullet my own father ordered, Tony was already up in space. Loki was already dead.”
You hoped no one commented on Loki’s role in your life. He wasn’t exactly a nice figure to suddenly name drop in New York, but he was important in your grief. 
It was slightly unnerving to be on display here, but you weren’t exactly planning on returning. You just needed to rant. 
“I stitched myself up the best I could in that quinjet - which I almost crashed,” you muttered, smirking at Steve. “Sorry, Cap.”
“This is the first time I've heard you flew. You’re not even authorized to fly,” Steve declared, face scrunched in confusion and astonishment. 
“That’s not important,” you teased. “But the stitches were messy work. Horrible criss-crosses.”
Steve was in a tiny state of shock. He had known what happened to you, but to hear you talk so casually about the day before the world went to shit - it just made it more real. 
You had mentioned before that you never dreamed about the snap, but about everything leading up to it. 
“I woke up, betrayed yet again by my own blood, and Steve was suddenly there after two years. We were gonna fight an outside threat.”
You crossed your arms over your chest and huffed lightly, “I was still healing but I was on the battlefield. Stayed close to Nat most of the time.”
The group was heavily invested in your retelling. “I couldn’t fight him, obviously. But I did see him. I saw how he ripped that stone from my friend’s head.”
A few winces sounded around the circle. 
“I guess I feel immense guilt. Like, I could have done something more even though realistically, I couldn’t. Kinda feels like I sat back and watched my friend’s die.”
No one spoke, but it was obvious everyone had survivor’s guilt. 
“And now, I’m living with the pain of having all three of my best friends stripped from me while also celebrating the fact that the snap took my father.”
Shrugging, you gave your last sad smile to the group. “I feel guilty for what happened while also being grateful it took someone who deserved it.”
After a few seconds of silence, Steve spoke. “You’re here today to tell your story. No one has to agree or disagree with you. It’s your story. Tell it like it is.”
You chuckled, “I could easily bother Steve with this at the compound.” You smiled at the teenager clutching what looked like a stuffed animal in his lap. “But I had nothing else to do tonight. My only friends are gone.”
“You and Steve aren’t friends?”
This time it was Michael that spoke, his eyes bouncing from you to Steve. You turned to Steve for some kind of answer. Was it a yes? Were you more like coworkers than true friends? 
Steve’s eyes softened and his kind smile was back. 
You answered, “I guess. I did come here for him.”
Steve rolled his eyes and kept his light-hearted tone, “I’m really glad you did.” 
Steve backtracked, clearing his throat as he addressed the circle. “I’m really glad all of you did. Same time next week.”
You busied yourself with stacking the chairs and dusting off your pants. Once most of the group had left, Steve gathered his things and walked over to you. “You take the subway?”
Your head shot up at the sound of his voice, and you stacked the final chair high. “I did. You drive?”
Steve hummed in response, “Want a lift?”
You raised an eyebrow at him, “You’re not staying at your place tonight?”
“Nah, I haven’t seen Nat in a week. I should pay her a visit.”
He curled his jacket around your shoulders as you exited the building. You held it tightly, relishing in the comfort. The walk back to the car was quiet but not awkward. After such a heavy night, silence was most definitely needed. And just the comfort of being around someone you trusted added to the relaxation aspect of it all. 
Steve kicked a loose piece of gravel to the street. You watched him for a few seconds before you spoke, voice light and a puff of cold air escaping your lips. 
“Steve?” 
He turned to you and waited for you to continue speaking. 
“You know Sam would be so proud of you doing this, right?”
Steve watched the cold air leave his own lungs as well. He felt the weight of that statement pressing down on his shoulders as he looked up at the dark sky. “I know.”
     Steve knew he was utterly fucked, so fucked that any line that had been established was stepped over and kicked a thousand yards back. His mind was made up, he would not run, he would not succumb to some former mindset 2016 Steve would have fallen victim to. He was a new person, a completely different person than he was out of the ice and after the snap. He deserved to cross the line, he deserved whatever happiness was afforded to him - he deserved comfort in the arms of another after years of denying himself. 
He downed the rest of his drink with a loud gulp, mind made up, and headed back to your room. 
    It was best to just pretend it never happened… no? But did you want to pretend it never did? So many moments over the years where this could have happened, where either of you could have literally just said ‘fuck it’. As overthinking was a specialty, quite a useless skill, you thought about the countless fights you had. 
Red in the face, hands clenched until nails imprinted little crescents, absolutely seething at the mouth. Some of the things you would yell were vile, none at all honest but with the intent to cause pain for only a moment, and mumbled apologies later. You were literally enemies for these past two, long years. Enemies who had to be seated and scolded, tricked into accepting defeat and living as teammates once more. 
Perhaps one of those arguments could have been remedied by simply leaning in like you had tonight, by throwing each other against the wall, by pulling the roots of your hair as he tugged-
Nope. 
Nope. 
No matter how much tension you were now realizing you had for this man, tension that could literally be fucked out, wasn’t it too late to act on it? You couldn’t pinpoint the chance you maybe had and missed. 
Steve walked through the door in the middle of your rapid brainstorming. He just grinned sweetly and slipped into the bathroom. 
As simple as that. 
Now you couldn’t discern between the feelings of wanting to fight him or fuck him. Not being able to differentiate between them ignited a sour mood, and once he stepped out from the shower, you basically pushed him to the side to lock yourself in. 
Even the warm water hitting your body couldn’t alleviate the pressure of overthinking. You disregarded your hair tonight and instead just washed your body. As quick as you could jump back out and go to bed, the better.  
Sucking in a deep breath, you opened the door and shut off the bathroom light. Your eyes landed on Steve’s torso, shirtless and the only thing not covered by the white blanket. He hadn’t shaved his beard either, the length evident when he kissed you earlier. It felt wrong and right at the same time, a battle that you seriously did not want to deal with. To get involved with your mission partner was dangerous - not because Steve himself was dangerous, but because it was a giant distraction. A distraction that you couldn’t afford. 
But as he put down his book and lay it in his lap, looking up to look at you through hooded eyes, sleepy but alert, the ‘danger’ was nothing but enticing. 
You cleared your throat and padded down your pajama shorts absentmindedly, slinging your hair over one shoulder and focusing on plugging your charger into your phone. It was so silent besides your pitter-patter, and god, did Steve find that sound so relaxing, until you climbed into bed. Once your shuffling was done, the slight buzzing of Steve’s desk lamp drowned out all your other senses. And the longer it was heard, the more it sounded like a ticking clock. 
Steve shut the lamp off, the only light now illuminating your figure from outside. He studied your breathing, watching how every so often you would bring your hand up to scratch your cheek or move a stray hair. You looked so gentle, so inviting, so small. 
You were turned away from him and facing the wall, eyes shut as you listened to his movements. There was a small part of you that wanted to stay up all night talking, to lean on his shoulder and simply feel his warmth, to feel that beard against your cheek one more time. As quickly as those thoughts flashed through your mind did you scold yourself, that this was inappropriate and wrong and so dangerous. 
You felt a dip in your bed, heavy and unsure, a lift of your blankets, and it happened so quickly that you could have sworn you dreamt it. Steve wrapped his arm around you, his broad chest pressed tightly against your back and his lips attacked the skin just below your earlobe. Your breath hitched, eyes shot open, and your hands reached up to grip his wrist. Steve stilled. 
“Tell me to stop,” he breathed, lips hovering over your blushing skin and breath practically blistering. You could feel him now, hard and pulsing against your ass and ready to move. You felt dizzy, overcome with such a rush of desire that you couldn’t help but stiffen in his tight grasp. 
“Don’t,” you choked out, feeling his body become rigid and his breath begin to quicken. 
“I’m sorry I-” he began to move away from you, voice no longer a whisper and tainted with panic. 
“No,” you pulled back, tilting your head up to lock eyes with him. You brought your arm up to grasp the back of his head, and you tugged it back to your neck. “Don’t stop.”
Yeah, he was utterly fucked. “Fuck,” he groaned, continuing the attack on your neck. But he gained momentum now, arm squeezing you against him tighter, and voice cracking as he moaned your name. 
“Steve, please do something.”
Your hands found their way back to his arm, gripping it tightly as he fumbled with the waistband of your shorts. He played with it, teasing in his actions, almost as punishment for the years you tormented him with your attitude. His lips pressed harder now, finding each patch of available skin on your neck and flushed cheek, and Steve has never felt so aroused in his life. He wasn’t even inside you, but the quick gasps he heard from you did plenty in aiding the rush of blood from his head to his stiffening cock. 
“Tell me what you want. Please, tell me and I’ll give it to you,” he moaned, the slightest experimental role of the hips causing you to whimper. 
“Touch me,” you practically sobbed, rolling your hips back against him, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt all of him.  
And just like that, he gave you what you asked for. He gripped your hip and shoved you closer to him, hot and ready and pressed firmly against you. He rolled his hips into you, little whimpers of his own touching your sensitive ear. He quickened his pace and he found it hard to think straight when the scrunch of pleasure all over your face, making you look so willing, was all he was focused on. He focused on the way you bit your lip, a bite and then a gasp, and then you were back to biting as if you were trying to restrain any higher moan. And even with only the moonlight illuminating the room, he could see the sun-kissed color of your skin and the bruising he was causing. He kept his mouth on you as he rocked himself against you, indulging in a few more selfish seconds of pleasure before becoming his generous self. 
He dipped his hand into your shorts and found the sweet nub that so desperately needed attention. His brain almost short circuited, the feeling of his fingers finally sliding into your wet lips making his throat dry. He drew little but skilled circles, each twirl of his index and middle finger in unison with the grind of his hips. Your mouth fell open by such pleasure, and you braced yourself by placing your left palm on the mattress and pressed down, nails scratching the cotton fabric and alerting Steve of your excitement. You pushed back against him, timed and in perfect harmony. 
You knew the room wasn’t on fire, but even if it was you didn’t think to check. 
“Keep talking to me, Y/N. Keep talking to me,” Steve begged, each rotation of his hips gaining pressure. His eagerness prompted you to reach back up and grab him by the hair, yanking his head to your tilted one and smashing his lips against yours. Steve gasped at the pleasant sting, somewhat surprised with himself that he liked that form of roughness. But who was he to judge his kinks when the tip of your nose was turning redder, the blush in your cheeks mixed with barely visible silver droplets of sweat, and a purple outline was beginning to form on your plump upper lip? 
The kiss was sloppy, uncoordinated, but still beneficial in getting Steve to rut against you even harder. 
He could so easily pull your shorts down and enter you, and if he was anything like he felt, then you knew it would sting. But you craved that sting and stretch, the thought of him inside you causing another gush of desire to leak from you. Steve dipped his finger deeper into you only to accumulate your juices and spread them higher. He went back to rubbing expertly, actions gaining speed to match your whimpers. 
“Fuck, Steve,” you moaned louder, and you swore you felt tears forming in the corner of your eyes. You pressed back harder, his hand rubbing and pressing down on your stomach simultaneously. Your head felt cloudy, the pleasure coursing through your veins and to the very tips of your toes. “Oh, my fuck.”
Steve paused his fingers to trail his hand back up your stomach and to your breasts, pulling your tank top down to spill them. The sounds leaving your throat set him on fire, desire pulsing everywhere - his head, his heart, his aching cock that was pressed so closely against you that he could feel you vibrating. He pinched your nipple and rolled it, closing his eyes in response to your dirty purrs. “Let me make you come, doll.”
“Wasn’t that the point?” you quipped, ass tilting at an angle that caused Steve to choke. He growled from the attitude he couldn’t believe you still fucking had during a moment like this and kissed you roughly, both your broken moans molding into one. His hand returned to your shorts. 
“Do that again,” he begged, hitching his leg up to rest on yours. The angle allowed him to drive his hips even harder. You maneuvered to provide the same tilt, grinning at the pleasurable cries that left your Captain’s mouth. 
“I think I’m gonna make you come first,” you chuckled and took his bottom lip between your teeth. You pulled lightly, concentration still in the circle of your hips. He looked back down at you, determination and undeniable lust in his eyes. He thrust his aching cock against you, sliding himself over your ass. He did it hard but slow, the pressure applied giving the head of his cock such a sweet squeeze as he bumped it against the curve of your lumbar spine. 
The heavy duvet was abandoned now, cold air from the hotel air conditioner failing in cooling you down at all. You both had a thin sheet of sweat on your clothed bodies, goosebumps standing proudly, and lips all plump and red from your harsh kissing. 
Steve held you so close, so tight, and his fingers were drawing such rushed and tiny circles that you swore his wrist had to be cramping up. But the sound of both your whimpers started to mesh together, alerting you of such a sweet climax up ahead. 
“Steve, fuck, fuck, ohh,” you mewled, voice now high pitched and yes, it turned Steve on incredibly but it also fueled you. Your pornographic moans ignited an even deeper desire within you, just the true fact that Steve was touching you, Steve was getting you to make these sounds, Steve is actually hearing these sounds, Steve is making the same exact sounds. 
 “I-, please, come for me,” Steve pleaded, cock twitching with each thrust as he neared his end. “Make me come.”
His begging, his equally high voice, his skilled fingers rubbing rapidly and the slight pain from that, his breath burning your neck, were all too powerful, their combinations causing the fire in your core to explode and make you see white in a flash, black dots later clouding your vision. Your nails dug into his moving arm, crescents branded into him. You clenched around nothing, walls fluttering and thighs shaking as they pressed around his hand and fingers. 
The inappropriate squelching sound of your juices spreading as your thighs clenched around his cramping fingers, the slide so sensual and dirty, had Steve rutting against you one, two, three more times before he came in hard but long spurts. His mouth hung open, breath still fanning your neck, and his eyes were so tightly shut that the force was enough to strain them. 
“Oh, fuuuck, yes, yes!” Steve groaned, his body taking longer than usual to recover. His orgasm was powerful, more powerful than when he got himself off in the shower or in the comfort of his bed at night, and he knew it was because you clouded his senses. Of course, there was an added benefit to getting off with someone else, aiding that person in the same endeavor, but because it was you, it made the climax even more forceful, more intense. The whole situation was both unexpected and calculated, gentle and rough, and Steve’s heart was beating so fast by the thought of what just occurred that he found himself wanting to spill into you all night long, and to apologize for overstepping an unspoken boundary. 
You could feel the wetness of both your own release and Steve’s, head still cloudy from such a sharp orgasm. You hummed in satisfaction, reaching your arm over once again to lift his head up by his hair. He hissed at the pull now, his body all fucked out and satisfied. “You good?”
Steve gave you a lazy smile, chest heaving in unison with yours. “I’m okay. You?”
“I’m good.”
Steve scanned your face for any regret just in case your words held other meaning, but all he could see was your satisfied expression, cheeks still flushed pink, hair tangled, and pupils dilated. He hesitated for a second before he leaned down and connected your lips, molding his with yours slowly and chastely. You both sighed at the feeling, highs now lowering and the coldness from the air conditioner causing a different set of goosebumps to appear. Steve pulled away, giving you one last peck as if testing the waters, and rested his forehead against yours. You both relished your post-orgasm bliss for a few silent minutes before cleaning up. 
You shared playful shoves as you cleaned up. It was almost innocent, a huge contrast to the sinful activities you two had just committed, but there was a genuine feeling of understanding in the room. Your heart clenched at the simple sight of Steve washing his hands, eyes meeting his in the mirror, a soft look in his that startled you. 
You gave him a smile so as to not alert him of your reaction, and exited the bathroom to climb back into bed. You drew the heavy duvet back over your body and cuddled in it deeply, chin hidden underneath and back facing Steve’s bed. It was a few more minutes before Steve came back into the room, shutting the light off, and looking at your resting form. He wanted to climb back in with you and hold you innocently, to have the feeling of your warm back against his broad chest, gentle exhales tickling the arm that would wrap around you. But he just looked back and forth from your bed and his, and he decided to not push the boundary further. He hesitated with this decision, but climbed into his own bed, the feeling of his cold sheets making him immediately regret it. He shuffled silently, his body facing yours. 
You wanted to lay beside him too. But whether you were making a smart decision or an absurd, cowardly one, one thing was certain: you could no longer ignore the stacking of such emotions you had for this man. 
It almost angered you, how much you denied yourself of even a simple crush for literally ten years, and it made you mad at Steve, too. Because if he hadn’t pushed you away, then maybe you could have accepted this sooner. 
~
TAGLIST: @dumb-ass-writer @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise @missnighttigress​
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April 2021 Picks
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And we’re back with the end to another month. April! Wow! Lots more great picks to talk about this time. Lots of new ones to the list too. So, let’s dive in!
Spoiler territory ahead!
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THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER
or should I say Captain America and the Winter Soldier
I just finished the finale last night, so it felt right to start off with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I really enjoyed it and I feel the episodes got stronger as the series went on. Each one felt like a mini-movie and I was upset it was over and had to wait another week for another one. I think the finale was my favorite. Especially the reveal of Sam as Captain America. I love his suit, his speech and the montage of everyone watching him. The last part of the episode was definitely my favorite and one I can watch on repeat. I loved seeing happy Bucky and him goofing off with the kids in Louisiana. He deserves so much happiness as he has now accepted he’s no longer who he once was. Bucky and Sam’s relationship is fantastic and I can’t wait to see it more. I know there’s a possibility of a second season and they have to be in a future MCU movie. Regarding the villain, I feel I was confused for most of the show as to what their objective was. I’m curious if this is because they had to reshoot parts during the pandemic. I also am mad with Sharon. Like what happened with her? She is definitely the true villain of the show. I also don’t love that we haven’t seen the end of Walker (but Wyatt Russell did a fantastic job). I also loved Torres and I hope he becomes the next Falcon. Definitely so different vibes from Wandavision, but just as good!
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THE IRREGULARS
This is a show that more people need to be talking about! It was SO GOOD! I feel like I heard some buzz about it when it first came out, but not much after. It follows the teens featured about who live on the streets during Victorian London. The leader of their group, Bea gets approached by Dr. John Watson (that’s right...as in Sherlock and Watson) to take on a case that has more supernatural qualities. The story takes off from there. I think the group dynamic was fantastic. There wasn’t a character I didn’t like and each one brought something else important to the group (which they even bring up towards the end of the show). [I’ve watched a few cast interviews since finishing the finale and they seem like they get along really well in real life too.] There is a kind of love triangle, but it didn’t bother me and was over fast. I did like both combinations though. Lots of twists and turns along the journey. I have no idea if there will be another season, but there should be. It didn’t end on a major cliffhanger, but definitely ended in a way where it could continue nicely. Come on Netflix. 
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HBO’S THE NEVERS
From one show set in Victorian times to the next. The Nevers just premiered on HBO and HBO Max earlier this month. It follows an ensemble of characters, similar to other HBO shows, ranging from characters who are called “the touched” to men in government who are against them. Being “touched” means they have a special talent or power, which can range from healing to speaking other languages, being extremely tall, or being an expectational inventor (I seriously love Penance. I just don’t know how to explain her ability). Amalia True and Penance Adair are two of the main characters and they help bring in others who are touched to a remodeled orphanage that is a safe haven for people like them. Of course there are those who are against them existing. This seems to be at least two groups as someone is abducting and experimenting on some of the touched, but we don’t know who they are...yet. I love the fusion of a historical setting with a fantasy element. I am very excited to see where the show is headed. I also love seeing so many of my favorite British actors on the screen together.      
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ONCE UPON A TIME IN WONDERLAND
Time for a throw back. Fans of ABC’s Once Upon a Time might remember the short lived spin off following Alice in Wonderland (and some of Aladdin). It only lasted for one season of 13 episodes, but I remember loving it and I am so happy I can rewatch it on Disney Plus. It reminds me of why I enjoyed OUAT so much and I think this show deserved another season or more crossover with the original show. (Luckily the Knave got that opportunity.) I think it should have aired as a summer show or when OUAT was on hiatus, this way more fans would have tuned in. It is something I’ll believe forever. 
Anyway, I’ll stop ranting now... I love Alice. I think she’s a badass and a fierce warrior. If you follow some of my posts on my other blog, Lydia-yougowith-Stiles, you’ll know that I love a warrior romance and Cyrus and Alice fit that perfectly (even if they are apart for much of the series). I also love Alice’s hair and outfits. Everything about her is cool. Her relationship with the Knave is one of my favorite friendships ever. I think they balance each other out so well and how they spend most of the journey together. Back in the day, I totally shipped them, but now I definitely don’t. (Even though I don’t love Anastasia.) This is definitely worth the watch if you’ve ever heard of Once Upon a Time or not. There is very cheesy CGI especially for 2013, but once you get pass that you’ll love it. 
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ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST
It was on a longer break than I expected, and I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would (which I know doesn’t sound good for a show), but I am still loving all the episodes this season. It feels like there are more musical numbers, which I love. Mandy Moore is killing it with the choreography. There are so many amazing moments. I also was a big fan of the newest glitch episode. Everyone is so talented and I also like that we’ve started to hear from more like Jenna and Tobin. Leif has become one of my favorites. I don’t love the new neighbor next door, but I think we’re done with his storyline. I’m not loving the Zoey love triangle, but I do like her with either Simon or Max. She seems really happy with Simon now. (FYI: I haven’t watched the most recent episode yet. The glitch one was my latest.) Can’t wait for more!    
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KUNG FU
CW’s newest show this month was Kung Fu, which I just learned was a reboot. It follows Nicky who returns after 3 years to her home in San Francisco. Her family has mixed feelings as she has had no contact with them for the last 3 years. She is now a Kung Fu master and warrior, out to avenge her mentor’s death and stop a villain from acquiring mythical weapons. The show gives me Arrow vibes every time I watch it. It has similar flashbacks each episode to an earlier time in Nicky’s life. While Nicky’s mission is different, the style just gives me early seasons of Arrow vibes, which I am not complaining about. It stars Legacies’ Alyssa Chen, who I didn’t love on Legacies, but instantly fell in love with Nicky. I think she’s a bad ass character and love how she’s fighting for the underdogs on the streets of San Fran, while also taking down a bigger evil. The love triangle is heating up and I’m definitely team Henry (even though there’s some mystery there). I think he’s great and once again we have an awesome warrior romance. They balance each other so well and it’s only been like 3 episodes. Now they’ve also been sleuthing together and it’s just amazing. 
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NANCY DREW
Are you sick of hearing me talk about CW’s Nancy Drew? I hope not because I’m going to fangirl again. I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH! I can’t wait till Wednesday comes and I tune in a little after it starts, so then I can fast forward on my DVR. Then when the episode is over I basically start it all over again and watch select scenes that were awesome. (More specifically, they tend to be Nancy and Ace scenes because I love them and we’re entering so much angst I don’t know if my heart will be able to handle it!!!) 
I’ll say it a thousand times: THIS CAST IS EVERYTHING! Their dynamic is amazing. You can have any match ups and it’ll be a great time. There is not one person I don’t like. I was so upset that there wasn’t a new episode last week (especially because it was my birthday). I loved the last one with the Hardy Boys and that Nace reveal! OMG! I’m so sad that Grant has left again because we barely had him, but I feel he’ll eventually come back. He has to. I loved the ending when he spoke to Thom by signing to him. (My heart!) I seriously can’t say enough great things about this show. It is not your typical CW show and deserves more love and views. So happy a third season has already been confirmed!! 
LAST NOTES
Just started Shadow and Bone on Netflix and am loving it! I’m sure I’ll have an entire post dedicated to it when I’m done. (Currently going to start episode 6.) I have no background on the universe or the books (just what my sister is filling me in with as we watch). I definitely plan on reading Six of Crows after this!
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So what are you enjoying? Let me know. I’m always looking for more shows to add to the list! Can never have enough. 
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dclsbaby · 3 years
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tolerate it - Dominic Calvert Lewin 🦋
Summary: despite being in love, you and dom drift apart during a career hiccup and it breaks your heart into tiny little pieces
Word Count: 3.1k
Warnings: angst? pain?
A/N: hi everyone! I took the looongest hiatus known to mankind and I just want to thank everyone who has still stuck by this blog! I haven't written in a while and this isn't by best work but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway! ily!
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I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed
I wake and watch you breathing with your eyes closed
I sit and watch
I notice everything you do or don’t do
Every little thing he does leaves you in awe. The man can’t do no wrong in your eyes. You notice the way he breathes, his little gestures, his subtle movements. Others can envision an entire story just by observing the way he looks at you. As you lay in bed with his body next to yours, his chest rising with every breath taken, you discover a newfound appreciation to add to the list of things you love about him. You have never felt a feeling so intense, so visceral. Love is terrifying, isn’t it? Love often leads to infatuation, and this was no different to you. You wear your heart on your sleeves, feel every emotion, from the exhilarating highs, to the excruciating lows. To be dependent on another human for happiness is a dangerous game. You fear love. And with fear comes paranoia.
It started when your conversations became shorter and shorter by the day. Then, it’s him arriving late from training, to no longer waking you up before he leaves for early morning training. No more forehead kisses when you’re still asleep, no more post-it notes on refrigerator doors telling you he’s made you breakfast, no nothing. Bodies that were once intertwined each night now rest apart with unwanted distance in between. Distance you so wanted to close.
As the weather turned cold, so did he.
I wait by the door like I’m just a kid
Use my best colours for your portrait
Lay the table with fancy shit
And watch you tolerate it
Without fail, you would always wait for him to come home, run to the door when you hear his car pull over on your driveway and leap into his arms the second he steps in your shared home. He would hold you up as your legs wrap around his waist, and whisper “I’ve been waiting to come home to you all day,” in your ear. A memory you long to relive.
You knew he had been struggling, coping with a plateau in his career, playing less and less, becoming a resident of the substitution bench. It hurt you to see him hurt, but it also pained you that he did not turn to you for comfort. “Nothing is wrong,” he says, over and over. Lies, you thought. You know him better than anyone else. So you try and convince him that he could trust you, and that keeping it all in would only make it worse. I mean you would know, as you have been suppressing so much pain this whole time. But he wins this battle yet again, and with his ego intact, he shrugs it off, ignores his frustration, and pushes you away.
While you were out building other worlds, where was I?
Where’s that man who’d throw blankets over my barbed wire?
I made you my temple, my mural my sky
Now I’m begging for footnotes in the story of your life
As months passed by, you were no longer his live-in partner, but a stranger he has to coexist with, leaving you lonely each night as he drifted off to sleep inches away from you. Even then your love for him is still as potent, as strong. Your loyalty is a crime.
Your efforts to make him feel better never ceased, as you continue cooking him his favourite meals after training, helping him pack his bags the night before he leaves for international duty, doing household chores so he never had to bother with them after coming home from an exhausting day, making playlists of songs you think he’d like, and putting movies and tv series you know he would enjoy in his Netflix list.
You would do anything for some form of acknowledgement.
You would do anything to bring back those first two years back.
You would do anything for a simple touch, a hug, an embrace.
You would do anything for… something.
Everything you did, you did for him. Every thought that passes your mind, involves him.
It’s just a phase. It’s just a phase. You try to convince yourself. That’s a lie, another subconscious voice says.
---
It was the night before the Merseyside derby, which happens to be the final match of the season. The most anticipated match of the year. The perfect match. The match that determines if Everton is crowned Premier League champions. Half of the city at war with the other half. Two colours, two clubs with a historic rivalry battle it out on the pitch once again.
He was nervous, you could tell. You catch him playing with his food and struggle to finish his meal as he was sick to his stomach. After months of hate comments, online trolling, and being subject to pundits’ criticism, this was the perfect match to prove all the doubters that he is worthy of wearing his blue jersey. He spent several more minutes tossing pieces of food with his fork until he got up, placed his plate on the sink, and made his way up the stairs to sleep. No “see you upstairs”, or a last goodbye before he sleeps. You had to resist every temptation to start a fight and argue that you deserve more than silence. But you knew how important tomorrow’s occasion is, and decided against it.
Shortly after you make your way into your bedroom. He was curled on the edge of the bed, eyes closed, bedroom lights dimmed. You go to your shared bathroom, take what’s left of your makeup off, and get ready for bed. You stare at yourself in the mirror. Darkened under eyes, lips cracked down the middle. You were dehydrated, tired, exhausted, and looked almost ghastly. Turns out having a broken heart does have implications on your vanity. How much longer can I do this? You thought. You felt pathetic, feeling sorry for yourself. You exhale a deep sigh and make your way back into the bedroom, joining him in bed. As you settle on the bed, you turn your body away from him, and tug the duvet your way, curling into a fetal position and tuck yourself in, and drift off to sleep.
All of a sudden, you hear sounds of shifting sheets, the bed slightly moving with every turn he makes. You could tell he was awake. You knew the events of tomorrow are playing on his mind and making him lose sleep. With only a little hesitation, you extend an arm and rest your hand on his back, causing him to shudder a little. Your touch had stopped the shifting and brought him comfort he did not know he needed. Not long after, you could hear soft snores from his side of the bed.
---
You woke up to an empty bed, which was not unusual. You forgive him though, since it is a big day and he probably had to tune into the game day mentality early in the morning.
You watch the game from home and stare at the TV screen as the cameras zoom into Dom, his face serious, ready to fight it out on the pitch. Since the second the referee blew the first while, it had already gotten intense. Both teams began attacking from the get-go, a handful of chances created even though it’s barely been a quarter of an hour.
Minutes passed, and yellow cards have been handed out for several players. Every spectator in different time zones all glued to their screens, all on the edge of their seats until half-time. The camera catches a glimpse of him walking off the pitch. He looked angry and frustrated, you could tell. He was responsible for most of the chances created during the game, though he couldn’t seem to poach one in.
Ben had made a long pass that Dom couldn’t quite convert into a goal.
Lucas had delivered a stunning, almost perfect cross that landed on Dom’s head, but it went wide.
Richy had attempted a shot on his own, which pissed Dom off.
It’s all square at half-time, but football is a game of two halves, and to decide which side of the city will celebrate tonight is determined by the next 45 minutes at least.
Every player is now back on the pitch, ready to give it their all.
10 minutes in, it’s long balls and defending, the opposition giving no room to maneuver through the box. That is until Lucas passed another strikingly accurate cross.
“MISS AGAIN! How could he have missed a cross like that a second time?”
“Everton’s number 9 squashes an open goal opportunity, what a shame, that.”
“He’s going to hate himself for that,”
“He already does, Calvert-Lewin looks like he’s about to see red.”
You listen to the commentators as they describe Dom’s frustration. You watch with anxiety, occasionally scrolling through your phone to avoid the intensity.
---
Into the final minute of the game 90+3.  Still all square at the Goodison. It’s now or never.
“Free kick!”
“The free-kick will be done 20 yards off the goal post.”
“This could be the last chance of the game!”
“It’s been decided that Sigurdsson will take the free kick, Calvert-Lewin leaps into the air, ball’s on his head—GOAL!!!”
And just like that, in the final minute of the game, his team clinches the winner, and your man is hailed the hero of the night.
You watch the screen as the referee blows the final whistle of the game, Dom doing sprints around the pitch with his teammates, bodies jumping on each other, veins popping through every neck, roars of exhilaration filling the open air as Everton is calculated to win the league.
You watch him immerse himself in the exhilaration of crowning his team champions of the Premier League. The blue confetti rained over the stadium in the crisp yet comfortable afternoon air, cheering noises blasting through the speakers. You watch the screen zoom into the love of your life, or was. You see his perfectly chiseled face, those bright green eyes, brunette locks still perfectly put together even after a hard-fought game, his sweet smile warming your heart. Your eyes glued to the screen as your man is hailed a hero, and feel an overwhelming sense of pride.
Though not even the cheering and happy faces on TV could distract you from the churning feeling in your stomach. It’s a feeling you can’t quite pinpoint. Is it confusion? Anger? Happiness? You don’t even know.
You’re happy for him, truly. But you can’t seem to shake the fact that it took him being distant from you, and completely ignoring your existence to get his head back in the game. It’s like you and football were mutually exclusive, and he can’t focus on both things he loves most at the same time. You weren’t going to make him choose either.
---
He didn’t come home that night, and you saw it coming. You knew he was going to go out with his teammates, and rightfully so, they achieved a massive milestone after all. But it bothered you that he didn’t say anything, no texts, no voicemails, nothing to tell you of his whereabouts. You thought he would at least change after all that success, but still nothing. Everything is going to stay the same, isn’t it? You thought.
The next morning you wake up to an empty bed. Again. Totally expected. You reach out for your phone and see 10 missed calls from your best friend and several text messages with picture attachments. You were not prepared for what you were about to see.
Attached were pictures of him in a club with his teammates, pictured awfully close to a woman you don’t recognise. He was smiling and looked happy. You can’t remember the last time he looked like that, or even smiled at you. You haven’t even stood as close as they way that woman is in his space, for months. He hasn’t looked at you the way he’s looking at her in those pictures for months.
You felt sick. Your mind is racing. Your heart feels like it’s about to fall out of your chest. You wanted to cry and scream but nothing came out. Total silence. Pure shock. You had no tears left to cry, as you wasted it all from crying yourself to sleep just inches away from the man who broke your heart every day.
Should I have seen it coming? Has he been going out with her for months? When did it start? You try to remember every single detail over the past few months. Every single pain, every single action that you could have overlooked.
---
By the afternoon, you’ve already spent hours sitting on your bed, staring at the pictures sent to you. More links have appeared as gossip sites picked up on the story.
“Dominic Calvert-Lewin celebrates historic Merseyside win with a mystery girl who is not his missus”
“Everton Hero – Also a Cheat”
“Cursed WAGs – DCL celebrates PL win with mystery woman as his missus is MIA”
The more you read these news outlets, the number you feel. The whole of England knows your dirty laundry, you felt like a fool.
You were done.
Drawing hearts in the byline
Always taking up too much space or time
You assume I’m fine, but what would you do if I…
Break free and leave us in ruins
Took this dagger in me and removed it
Gain the weight of you, then lose it
Believe me I could do it
Shortly after you hear keys rattling downstairs, followed by the sound of doors shutting. You hear footsteps walking up the stairs, and you mentally prepare to see his face. You still don’t know how you’re going to react, not until you see him.
As he steps into the doorframe, he sees your bloodshot eyes and stops in his tracks.
“So, I presume you’ve seen what’s being said about me,” he moans.
“Yeah, yeah I’ve seen,” you shrug.
“It’s absolutely ridiculous isn’t it, shouldn’t believe everything you say,” he says.
“-is it though? Is it absolutely ridiculous that what they say could be true?” you cross your arms.
“Of course, it is! What are you even saying?” he says, offended.
“I’m saying that I have spent months slaving for you, putting you before myself without getting anything in return! I’m saying that I have been so miserable in this sad excuse of a relationship, holding onto the last memory of when you last said you loved me which was months ago! I’m saying that it would not be so unbelievable if you had been cheating on me, and that I had to find out from some tabloids!”  
“If you had been so miserable then why didn’t you say anything? You could have said something if you’ve been so unhappy!” Dom yells.
“Because I have been tiptoeing around you! Afraid of saying the wrong things to set you off, I did not want to be a burden during a time when I know you’re struggling,” you sigh.
Dom’s body nearly goes limp after hearing your confession.
“I put you before myself over and over again for the past year, and you have the nerve to assume I’m fine? Fine with what? Being ignored? Being second best? You don’t know what that does to a person,” you cry.
“Do you regret it?” he asks with tears in his eyes. “Do you regret me?” he looks at you.
“No, Dom. No, I don’t. I don’t regret you because I’ve spent the last few months giving it my all to a relationship on the brink of ruins. I never gave up on you, and I never gave up on our love, or what’s left of it,” you sigh. “Deep down, I think I knew that I deserved more than a pathetic excuse of a career hiccup, but I was prepared to stand by you through it all,” you break into cries. “My love was strong enough to ignore every warning sign, strong enough to mute fire alarm bells ringing in my head, alerting me to leave a relationship where I was no longer appreciated,” you rest your head on your hand. “Maybe we’re all allotted a certain amount of fight to give per love, and today… Today I ran out,” look up at him.
“Don’t fucking say that. Do not say that. I am not done fighting for this relationship, I know I fucked up! You don’t think I know that? I will fix everything, you don’t have to do anything, let me do everything I will fix us!” Dom begs.
“There’s no fixing us. It takes two people to fix a relationship, I learned that the hard way and I singlehandedly attempted to piece us back together only for you to break through what I’ve built and held together with my bare fucking hands,” you say as you wipe your tears away.
Dom drops to the floor as he could no longer stand the pain he feels from what you’ve just said.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I-I don’t know what to say,” he pleads
“If it took you this long, and if it took me standing here yelling at you for you to regret what you did then we are past the point of fixing,”
“You know what football means to me, I felt stuck, everything that I had dreamed of as a kid was slowly fading, I couldn’t bear it,” Dom reasons.
“I would never get in between you and football. I would never have even considered making you choose, Dom. I would have done absolutely anything for you, anything, you said. “I just needed you to tell me what the hell is going on so I could have helped you. I did not deserve to be swept under the rug, to be left feeling useless, while you were out doing god knows what with god knows who after training every. Single. Day.”
“Are you implying that I cheated on you?! That I, me – someone you’ve known for years, is cheating on you?”
If it’s all in my head, tell me now
Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow
“Go on then! Tell me I’m making all of this up in my head. Tell me that I am not wrong to assume such insane thoughts, tell me that it is so beyond the realm of possibility that you could ever be unfaithful.”
Dom stayed silent.
You simply nodded and picked up your belongings, ready to leave.
“Nothing happened. I swear,” he pleaded.
“Your silence was enough,
Goodbye.”
I know my love should be celebrated
But you tolerate it
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itsclydebitches · 4 years
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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Amity”
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Welcome back, everyone! I hated this episode.
As in, I’m nominating “Amity” for the Most Stupid Episode of RWBY award. Was there some cool action? Yes. Good Penny development? Mm hmm. Some surprise cameos in the Maya Engine? You know it. Was all of it almost entirely undermined by the sheer number of times I went, “Wait, what?” over the course of twenty minutes?
Sadly, yes.
But let’s start at the beginning.
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We get a gorgeous opening shot of Amity Tower and, aesthetics aside, my first thought was, “There’s no one around to protect it?” I mean, this was Ironwood’s super secret project. Watts just tried to sabotage it a few hours ago. Prior to the reveal that Amity wasn’t finished (cough), Team RWBY was trying to convince Ironwood to give calling others a chance, but you’re telling me after all that there’s not a single guard there? Pietro, Maria, and Penny just waltzed up without any problems? The only reason it might be abandoned—yes, even with a grimm attack looming—is if it was useless. Because remember, it was supposed to be useless. Unfinished. Not worth protecting in its current state because its current state is non-operational. That would have explained why Ironwood would leave it undefended, yet as we’ve known since the premiere, Amity was apparently finished by magic at some point, leaving the question of why it’s unguarded (or why Ironwood wouldn’t want to use it himself for something) up in the air. Pun not intended. 
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So these three have free rein to do whatever they want and what they want to do is, apparently, blow up the dust mine. Love that we spent an entire volume worrying about dwindling resources! I’d find the sacrifice justifiable under the circumstances if this Amity plan weren’t so foolish. Also, I’m not going to pretend that I know anything about explosives and whether providing that kind of “thrust” would actually work, but in this case I think RWBY’s sci-fi/fantasy status gives it a pass.
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Penny, however, isn’t so sure. “Dad? This… does not seem like a very good idea.” Yeah. Pietro gives a short speech about good ideas not necessarily being best ideas, which would have been a great perspective to adopt for the series’ massive Ironwood arc, not a three minute solution to a problem I didn’t even know existed until now.
Pietro also weirdly teleports during this scene? He’s talking to Penny outside of the tower, tinkering with things, and then the next sentence he’s suddenly deep inside it. I mean, based on the dialogue this sentence could have come later, but it doesn’t read that way given that they were just chatting. It feels like a continuous conversation. He was outside one second, now he’s not. 
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During all this Maria is doing… something with a mech. That she got from who knows where. I really don’t know what the point of this was besides a very brief airship fight, but I’m just happy Maria is doing something. In fact, she’ll do far more later in the episode—we’ll get to that—so congratulations, RWBY, we can officially ignore half of your Maria square on the bingo card. Keep her alive for the next nine episodes and you’re golden. 
Our trio has the message ready to go which they recorded… when? Sometime before everyone split based on the fact that Ruby is standing in the Happy Huntress’ hideout. This episode throws out a LOT of information that seems to come out of nowhere and doesn’t hold up well in terms of timing. Or, you know, general sense. Take, for example, the next exchange between Penny and Pietro. She wants to stay here in case no one is able to come help Atlas and Pietro panics about her staying with them, heavily implying that they’re leaving leaving. Once they go up they can’t come back down because otherwise… why not just send out the message, land, and then Penny goes off again to help? Later in the episode landing seems inevitable and then it seems planned for—what, are Pietro and Maria just going to hang up there forever? So what’s the conflict here?
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Specifically, what’s the conflict for Penny? Amity should just be a quick side mission she completes before heading back into battle. Why does she care about doing what’s essentially an errand while Ruby nurses Nora back to health? She’s not missing anything. I’m having a hard time understanding why she’s acting like getting the message out means she’s removed from the fight indefinitely. Pietro, however, makes a little more sense if we read it simply as him not wanting Penny to be involved in the fight, period. As we see later, he fears for her safety and will do everything he can to keep her here with him, safe: “I’m your father. I’m telling you, you belong on Amity.”
Penny gives a sad “Yes, sir” and Maria chides Pietro with, “Don’t you think Penny has had enough people telling her what to do?”
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Oh boy. There’s so much wrong with this line. The general demonization of ever following orders, even when those orders are sound. The comparison between Ironwood’s new villainy/his “bootlickers” (“Yes, sir”) and a father’s justifiable fear. Ignoring that Ruby has also been giving orders and no one is reminding her that Penny is an autonomous person capable of deciding things for herself. Where was this sort of chiding when she took away Penny’s scroll and spoke for her to Ironwood?
So Penny, of course, flies up and I guess provides them with the launch sequence or something? She sort of perks up and makes tech noises, then the tower is ready to go. Just like that. 
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Pietro makes a joke about not having time to install seatbelts.
Funny, shouldn’t there be safety measures for the people operating the tower? If the tower was finished and ready to go? 🙃
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Everything is going to plan until Cinder shows up, melting a giant hole while Neo pilots the airship through it. So she came! Too bad she’s not going to achieve anything. Despite the stowaways, the bomb Penny left goes off and the dust mine explodes in a massive cloud of color, sending Amity up into the sky. This pops up on Ironwood’s feed and he gives an ominous “It’s time.”
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For the first minute or so no one can move due to the pressure and Cinder takes the time to taunt Penny some, saying she expected her friends to be here and, since they’re not, she’s just “a tool to be used.” While she lashes verbally she also summons a massive number of swords. When they’re able to fight Penny is briefly overwhelmed…
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…Until Maria comes to her aid!
“Get away from her, you bitch!”
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That was great. If anyone other than Tyrian was going to curse, you know it had to be our snarky grandma. So I’m cheering, watching Maria make use of her (acquired off screen) tech to help, despite the fact that she’s too old to fight anymore and—
Wait.
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Okay, here’s my problem with this battle. First of all, Cinder’s group should have decimated them. This is an experienced Maiden (see: Raven fight) with a grimm arm vs. a girl who only got the powers a few hours ago. I know a few weeks back I mentioned how insanely powerful Penny is in theory, but that was before she was nearly taken out by the Ace Ops. You know, the group who was all knocked unconscious by a bunch of half-trained, exhausted teenagers. So the comparisons here don’t make Penny look too good. More importantly—because Cinder doesn’t have a great track record anymore either—she’s backed by ‘I was kicking a Maiden’s ass before she whipped out her magic’ Neo and ‘I can make anyone see anything and I just mentioned last episode that I’ve been working on this semblance’ Emerald. They are a power team. Who is Penny backed by? A non-combat scientist and a woman who stopped fighting years ago.
Right?
I have no problem with Maria being powerful. In fact, after her Grimm Reaper reveal I had hoped we’d see her fight, both to give the group a power to aspire to—here’s what a fully trained huntress with experience looks like. This is what our personal inspiration and a huntress beloved by the world looks like—and to have an older fighter providing diversity. Sure, there’s Ozpin, but he reincarnates into young bodies. Maria is a Mexican coded, disabled, old as balls fighter and that’s AWESOME. Problem is… she never fought. She hobbles around with her cane, using it in a way Ozpin never used his, implying that she really needs it. She’s not spry anymore. Every time there’s a battle she’s in an airship or other tech, providing help through the use of an assistive device. She never offers to train anyone. We never see her accompanying a group—like JNOR—to provide extra protection. During the grimm attack Maria exchanges a fearful look with Pietro and then presumably hides in his shop off screen. Why has the story been ignoring Maria when she can fight like this? How can she fight like this when we haven’t seen her throw so much as a punch since we met her? 
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I mean, this is Neo! Neo. One of the most powerful, non-Maiden fighters we’ve seen to date. She took out Jaune, Nora, Ren, and Oscar without breaking a sweat, but a few minutes with Maria has her collapsed on the ground?
Something is very wrong with this fight. Either the writing nerfed Neo to allow Maria to win, or the writing has been pushing one of the most powerful characters off screen, relegating her to comic relief. Maria should be insanely powerful given her Grimm Reaper status. I had come to accept that she was powerful and, like people in real life, simply lost that with age. Now, the story suddenly reveals that this was never the case.
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During all this Emerald helps Neo one (1) time, despite presumably standing there watching the entire fight. Before it begins Neo randomly decides to turn into Ruby, but then has dropped the illusion by the time we return. Maria is laughing like a loon for the first half of the battle. The only reason she (briefly) looses is because she gets distracted. Then Penny K.O.’s Neo’s aura with a single blast.
See, this is why I rarely enjoy the fights anymore. Beyond that fact that I thought some of it was rather lackluster compared to our Penny vs. Ace Ops fight, it just doesn’t make sense. There’s moment after moment that has me scratching my head and if you’re going, “Huh?” at the screen the whole time, it’s pretty hard to get immersed in the story.
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During all this they reach the necessary altitude to broadcast, but it won’t go through because of a “stabilizer fail.” You mean the giant hole that Cinder blew in the side of the tower? 
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Never mind that everyone except Penny should be dead by now. How are they breathing up there? It’s like if someone blew a hole in your airplane and everyone just went about their tasks as usual. 
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You’ve gotta input the code, Penny.
I joke, but Pietro does start desperately typing. I guess because stabilizers might be fixed with a code or something? Anything is possible in this show.
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It’s the Penny vs. Cinder fight that I’m bored with though. At least before Cinder manages to nearly the powers. I think part of it is because we already got this fight last volume, partly because they don’t do much that we haven’t seen from them both before: Penny flies around a lot, Cinder tosses variously summoned weapons, etc. Details I did appreciate though were the return of Cinder’s arrows and the fact that she didn’t let Penny lead her from Amity for long. Look at our villain making a smart decision!! Love that.
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Cinder starts destroying the tower instead and Penny asks why she’d want to serve Salem. “I don’t serve anyone and you wouldn’t either if you weren’t built that way!” Penny looks sadly down at Pietro and for one horrible moment I thought the story would actually have her buy into that nonsense, but then Penny rallies and announces that she chooses when to fight because she wants to protect those she loves.
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Penny has some really great moments here. What’s less great is the setup for them. I mean… why is Pietro in danger? Penny is clearly trying to keep the top portion of the tower from collapsing after Cinder’s attack, but you’re telling me the tech-obsessed scientist hasn’t put flight capabilities into his chair? That’s not how he got way up high on the outside of the tower, it was just a random hatch or something? When every piece of tech in RWBY serves triple-duty, the Atlas tech mastermind hasn’t included the one thing in his massive chair that would save him here? It’s all very… “Really?” Especially when Cinder is smart enough to realize that Penny cares about the tower, but not realize she cares more about her dad. Just grab Pietro and threaten him, demanding that Penny stand down so Cinder can grab the powers. Penny, horrified by her father’s potential death (and ambivalent about having this responsibility in the first place) lets her. Something other than this weird setup of destroying the platform itself. 
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Penny’s scream though is fantastic. Kudos to Taylor for that moment. So yeah, Cinder starts taking the power—did she get a bit then, like with Amber?—before Penny rallies and knocks her off. From then on Cinder doesn’t stand a chance. Emerald reappears to provide assistance in the form of an illusion, except that Penny’s tech allows her to see through it with ease. The real Cinder is marked with ‘Danger’ and Penny takes her out easily once Cinder doesn’t think she needs to dodge anymore.
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I should be feeling something considering that Penny just won a battle against the woman who orchestrated her murder volumes back, in the exact same place where she died… but I’m not. Penny’s resurrection was shrugged off. Amity was used for joke license parties. I’m endlessly confused about what message RT is aiming for in regards to Penny’s autonomy (a real girl, but hackable) and this fight has been a collection of power ups, power downs, or skills just conveniently not working. What improvements has Emerald made to her semblance? This is everything we’ve seen from her before. When did we establish that Penny’s android nature makes her immune to techniques of this nature? I don’t mind that she is immune—in fact, it’s a cool skill to give her—I just wish this sort of stuff didn’t suddenly appear in the story only when the plot most needs it to. Or, to be more charitable, it would be a cool reveal if the rest of the fight held up better. I don’t mind a, “Hell yeah, Penny had the trump card she needed to win!” if the whole scene wasn’t Team Cinder being oddly weak the whole time. The most they manage to do is escape via Emerald threatening to fill the tower with holes from her gun… after the tower has had a hole blown through it, shot with flaming arrows, and had two of the beams keeping it in place melted. The most Cinder accomplishes here is unintentionally putting Penny in a position where she falls when she’s hacked. That’s it.
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The villains should have won. Not just because of the team dynamics making victory a very likely outcome, but because allowing the group to successfully get their message out was one of the worst things RWBY has done to date. 
Gimme just a moment to get there. 
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Amity is drifting back down, out of the range they need to send the broadcast, so Penny offers to “hold Amity in place” until the message is done. Pietro freaks out… why? He starts to say “Even just the temperature out there—” implying that the cold and altitude can kill Penny, except she fought Cinder outside no problem. Literally minutes ago. Hell, Cinder was fine outside and she’s not an android. 
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There’s that massive hole letting the atmosphere in too. I’m so confused by these conflicts that randomly appear and, as such, I can’t take the emotion attached to them seriously. How can I be invested in Pietro’s worry about this killing Penny and Penny offering to sacrifice herself when I don’t understand why it’s dangerous to begin with? 
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And it is treated like a sacrifice. Penny tells him that she’s trying to “live her life,” kisses Pietro as a sort of goodbye, and spends a few moments enjoying the beauty of the night sky. 
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She’s acting like she’s about to die and yet none of this comes across as particularly dangerous. Indeed, Penny pushes Amity for as long as Ruby’s message needs her to and then, presumably, would have come back inside, a-okay, if she hadn’t been hacked. This is like that Parks and Rec moment:
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Except it’s treated seriously. Penny is doing something mundane based on what we’ve seen her do before and the fact that this cold/pressure isn’t negatively impacting anyone else who experiences it, let alone the android. So why is the story trying to convince me that this is a death sentence?
Combine this with Penny’s origins: she was built to “save the world.” That’s why Pietro created her, to fight these exact sort of battles. So why is he so resistant to her doing just that? I’m not saying he can’t change his mind and grow to love her as more than a tool—in fact, their relationship is one of the few things I’m enjoying about this volume—I just wish we’d seen how that came about. When did Pietro move from building Ironwood a weapon to having a daughter? Back in Volume 3 he was on Ironwood’s side about Penny not having friends or going out because it was too dangerous for someone like her. She has secrets to maintain and responsibilities to prep for because she was, first and foremost, created for a specific task. We get an inkling through is admission that he can’t bear to see her die again that Penny’s first destruction really changed his view of her, but all of that happened off screen. We had a whole volume with Pietro prior to this where we might have watched him struggle with his new understanding of Penny as his child, rather than dumping this on us literal seconds before she engages in this non-sacrifice. We know almost nothing about Pietro except what tiny scraps we’ve been told, so dramatic lines like, “I don’t care about the big picture, I care about my daughter!”—while wonderful—appear to come out of nowhere in regards to his development. It’s jarring. Early RWBY presented Pietro as a morally ambiguous scientist aligned with Ironwood, then he suddenly became a scientist who loved his creation in Volume 7, the scientist who betrayed Ironwood, then Volume 8 has Penny dropping “Dad” left and right and Pietro willing to throw away helping a kingdom for her sake. When did all these changes happen? Where’s the progression?
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Also, I hope people understand that this is why the world needs someone like Ironwood. Is it heartwarming that Pietro wants to ditch their plan at the last second for the sake of his daughter? Hell yeah. Is that good for the millions of other people who would like their own family members to survive this war too? Nope. “I don’t care about the big picture,” while human and great characterization, is dangerous when the rest of the world depends on you. Whoever runs this show doesn’t have the luxury of saving their preferred, individual life at the expense of everyone else.
So Penny goes out and gets Amity high enough for Ruby’s recording to start, complete with her acting funny-awkward for the first few seconds.
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The cameos we get throughout this? Excellent. The speech itself? Rather horrifying. So the good: we get glimpses of everyone else in this show that the story has essentially left behind. Saphron, Terra, and Whitley start things off. 
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(Interesting that Whitely went to his father’s office rather than his room...) 
Sun and Neptune (even though that “Dude” again messes with tone).
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Ilia getting a call from Ghira.
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The group sitting with a recovering Nora while Ruby watches her own words with the most ridiculous expression.
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Tai, desperate not to lose the one link to his daughters he’s seen in years. (Side note: I’m not interested in any of the Tai hate. He’s still at home because the writers don’t know what to do with him and because Ruby literally ran away. Are people made at Ghira and Kali for not running after their daughter too? No, because they’re minor characters that the story needed to sideline.)
Tyrian, sitting beside a very pleased looking Salem... 
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(Love that she’s petting him.)
Even the shop dude!
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Oh yeah, and MOTHERFUCKING GLYNDA.
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I’m thrilled to see her. In the sense that I love getting her in the new engine, but I’m salty that she’s unlikely to become an important part of the story again. In fact, there are so many characters at this point that she shouldn’t be re-incorporated, just because that would bloat the cast even more. That… and did they really have to give her massive cleavage? The darker glasses are fine—even if I personally found them a bit distracting compared to her original lenses—but seriously, why does a woman always reappear with even bigger breasts?
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At this point everything in RWBY has a sour taste attached to it because it’s been handled so badly for so many years. It’s only now, watching them do many of the things I wanted them to do volumes ago, that I realize how badly they’ve played themselves. RT messed up so many core aspects that when they re-appear they can’t hope to provide the same sort of enjoyment we would have gotten if they’d never been dropped and/or messed up to begin with.
Case in point: Ruby’s speech. I’m not going to cover the stupidity of telling the world about Salem because I’ve already talked about that to death on my blog, but I do want to add that Ruby managed to accomplish that dubious task in the absolute worst way possible. I need a list for this one.
So, about RWBY ruining core parts of its story? We had a whole volume about how horrifying learning about Salem’s immortality was, something we never resolved because the cast randomly went from thinking they’d entered a doomed war to being #confident about how they’ll win. But at the very least they’ll be careful and considerate when they tell others that very demoralizing info, right? Ha. Ruby never even uses the term “immortal.” She mentions Salem being around for “centuries”—which, remember, was info the group also had but never put two and two together—and then says that “Just because she can’t be destroyed doesn’t mean she can’t be beaten.” What does that mean to people who have never heard of Salem before now? Ruby doesn’t even explain who she is! What’s a “force” in this context? A person? An entity? Endless grimm? She gives the people nothing here.
Alongside just casually dropping that Salem has been around for “centuries,” Ruby says that she is “a force we’ve faced before,” as if the world has ever had to deal with an outright attack from her. No, Ruby. They haven’t faced this before. That’s the point.
“I know the idea of Maidens and Relics seems crazy”—does she even mention them before this?? I don’t think she does. Ruby just name dropped two things and never bothered to explain wtf they were.
Also, great job telling the whole world, filled with bad guys not already aligned with Salem, that there are two powerful, mystery things out there that they can now start hunting down. That’s why Ozpin decided to keep the Maidens quiet in the first place. He says in Volume 3 that people were killing them when they knew they existed.
She tells everyone that Glynda and Theodore can vouch for all this information, just casually dropping that responsibility into their lap. I mean, can you even IMAGINE being Glynda right now? This kid you taught for one year heads back home after your school falls, you lose touch with the inner circle after Ozpin dies, and then said kid suddenly appears on every scroll and TV in Remnant, telling the entire world that YOU, personally, can explain to them the things you’ve helped keep hidden for a good portion of your adult life. You are one of two people they can now turn to for answers. If I were Glynda I would be furious.
She also says that Theodore and Glynda “might even be able to organize a way to fight back” RUBY. WHAT DO YOU THINK THE INNER CIRCLE WAS? A KNITTING CLUB? WHAT ELSE HAS OZPIN BEEN DOING FOR A THOUSAND YEARS EXCEPT “ORGANIZING A WAY TO FIGHT BACK”? 
“But, sadly, General Ironwood can no longer be trusted.” Wow. That’s one hell of a simplified take to give to a world already working under the incorrect assumption that Atlas caused the Fall of Beacon, an assumption Ruby admitted was wrong to Cordovin. So let’s unite the world except for this one leader, right? So much for practicing what you preach. 
“If she was really unstoppable she wouldn’t have acted with such caution before now.” Oh boy, that’s risking a lot on Ruby’s interpretation of Salem’s motives. After eight years even we, the audience, don’t know why Salem didn’t attack until now, so where did Ruby get the idea that it must be because she fears them? That’s not the real explanation based on how happy Salem looks while hearing the message. When did Ruby even think about this? Outside of Nora’s realization that maybe someone other than Ozpin could beat her, we haven’t seen the group discuss Salem at all, but now Ruby thinks she has everything figured out? I honestly want her to explain her thought process here. Does she think Ozpin was mistaken about the immortality business and if he’d just had the guts to unite everyone and attack her, Salem would have been defeated lifetimes ago? 
(Funny how that was Ironwood’s plan...) 
Ruby ends with another call to band together because “That’s how we’ll win!” complete with smiling energy.
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With the exception of the cameos I hated every moment of this. The unclear reason why Ruby thinks bringing the world together is the answer in the face of how badly that’s gone each and every time others have done it, Amity magically becoming available for them to use, her dropping in random beliefs we’ve never seen her express before, turning the whole world against Ironwood, failing to actually explain any of this… I mean, imagine you’re in Remnant’s place for a second:
This child (looking entirely unprepared) suddenly hacks every device and tells you that the most powerful kingdom in the world is under attack. Who is attacking it? It’s someone you’re familiar with! But not really. It’s Salem. Who’s Salem? I won’t say, but she’s responsible for every bad thing from the White Fang to the grimm themselves. Those Relics and Maidens, those are real crazy sounding, huh? Oh, I forgot to say what they are? Nm that’s not important. Talk to my old teacher and someone I’ve never met if you’re confused. What is important is that we all come together. Except Ironwood. I don’t trust him. But I expect you all to trust everyone else, including me! Because we can totally win against this “force” I haven’t defined. You should help us. In whatever non-specific way you choose. Should you come to Atlas and save us all from the confusingly explained attack we’re under? Fight an immortal enemy somehow, with the forces you don’t have, cross who knows how many miles in under a day? I don’t know. You all can figure the preparations part out :) 
If I were watching I would, at best, think this was a prank. At worst I’d be panicking over a whole lot of scary information, none of which I understand. Which in this world brings grimm.
Ruby should, in an internally consistent story, have just caused a massive number of attacks across the globe. She should be responsible for the biggest mass grimm death Remnant has ever seen. In fact, that’s my final hope for the series. I want the world to lose its mind at this confusing, terrifying announcement, from rioting in the streets to grimm swarming major cities. Ruby is left dumbfounded at the destruction she’s caused. No one can—or will—come to assist Atlas. The Kingdom falls, taking plenty of civilians with it. Ozpin escapes and is finally allowed his anger, wanting to know how the safety measures he spent lifetimes building were undone by her in one profoundly stupid move. Ironwood (if he’s still alive) coldly tells them that they could have left and saved who and what they had at the time. Ren is proven right.
I need this story to decimate our heroes, humble them, and then let them rebuild. Teach Ruby something and let her grow from it, making up for her mistakes as she goes. Because for two and a half seasons now we’ve watched this girl commit one horrible act after another—whether it’s attacking allies or unintentionally giving the world the most damaging message possible—and something needs to come out of all that.
Can’t say I’m too hopeful of seeing that though :/ 
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The rest of the episode isn’t any better. Ironwood continues his stupidity streak by trusting Watts to do the hack himself. I really can’t believe this is what his character has been reduced to. Granted, it appears as if Watts really did do what he was asked, it’s just that none of them could have known Penny would be outside of Amity and at the height of an airplane when her systems went offline. That trust does, however, allow Watts to nab Ironwood’s crushed scroll before he’s taken back to his cell. Because, you know, at this point Ironwood is so stupid he just chucks personal tech at a villain and thinks nothing of it. 
Also... all this happens before the jail scene last episode when Watts was returned, but after Ruby’s group gets to the Schnee manor. The bingo board is getting another check.
Ironwood says that “It seems Polendina’s proxy trick worked.” So Pietro deliberately built Penny with this kill switch (for lack of a better word) embedded? In this villain!Ironwood world, is the story ever going to acknowledge that Pietro is far from innocent, having helped to create and support all the things people hate about how Ironwood (supposedly) interacts with Penny? 
Penny’s hack doesn’t take until Ruby’s message is complete, because of course it doesn’t. 
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Yang’s group is all excited—“That was the broadcast!”—despite not having a signal last episode. If they can use their scrolls at the outpost, why didn’t they call for help?
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Penny then says “I love you” to Pietro before she—maybe?—falls to her second death. I don’t know. This absolutely deserves a longer rant because either Penny was resurrected for a brief, narratively meaningless existence before dying again, or we’re expected to believe that she’s falling far and fast enough to become a meteor, but will turn out just fine. Perhaps the show will forget that Pietro said he couldn’t rebuild her again. I pretty much expect it at this point. 
(Either that, or Pietro will sacrifice himself for Penny. Coming at it from a father-daughter relationship, I like the idea. As a black man dying for his white daughter in a show notorious for how it has handled its race allegory... ehhhh.) 
Then, we end this episode with “a river of grimm.”
????????????????????
What?
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Seriously, am I the only one who laughed during that moment? It sounds ridiculous. What does that even mean, “a river of grimm”? Did Salem expand her territory somehow? Is this the same grimm soup she makes them out of? What, can she just cover the whole world with grimm making goo now? Out of everything that could have been coming out of the ice, THAT’S what we end on? 
I think this episode may have broken me lol. There was so much that I knew I was meant to be invested in, so many moments trying their hardest to be emotionally compelling… and only the tinniest slivers of it worked. I want to care about Penny falling. I want to care (more) about an unexpected Glynda appearance. I want to be cheering for Ruby’s message getting out, but it’s all just so badly done. I ended this episode feeling like I had watched a RWBY parody rather than an episode. Like for funsies someone had pulled together the most ridiculous ideas they could think of, like:
The villains come and then immediately leave again, like in Fury Road except in this case that’s not the point of the story.
Super powerful fighter gets her ass kicked by laughing grandma.
Nonsensical sacrifice going on but give it just a hint of ~real~ emotion.
Huge reveal for the rest of the world but the message with be near incomprehensible.
Toss in random characters we haven’t seen in years, people love that.
End the episode with grimm soup flowing towards the kingdom.
It honestly feels like someone set out to write an absurd episode, but then gave it just enough artistry that the viewer finishing the vid goes, “Why am I actually invested in this omg lol.” Except when that’s your canon we’ve got a problem.
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I don’t know. At this point RWBY is so broken I can’t even articulate everything that’s continually going wrong when we get an episode like this one. For anyone who may have missed it, we’ve got two more episodes before a six week hiatus and frankly I’m glad. Mostly because I obviously want our crew to have the time they need to keep their sanity intact during the hell that is 2020 and the likely hell that will be 2021, also because that will give them time to spruce up the second half of the volume… but there’s also a part of me that’s just glad for a break. There are still pieces in RWBY I enjoy (like the Hound, or dad!Pietro, always Ozpin) and I love writing these recaps, but it says a lot about the writing that I hear we won’t get RWBY for two solid months and I am, at best, indifferent. Can’t mess up what you don’t air, right? 😂
Man, this bingo card… it’s getting three marks today. “Two day timeline wreaks havoc on continuity,” “Needless episode cliffhanger” (grimm river??), and “The team gets Amity up and running.” Yet we somehow STILL don’t have a bingo. Amazing.
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Alright, I’m done. If you enjoyed this episode, bless you. I’m really glad. Please enjoy it for the both of us. And pray for us all over the next two weeks 💜
[Ko-Fi]
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talldecafcappuccino · 3 years
Text
@pwfishing said something about Ted’s contract and then this happened (read on ao3)
meet me in the middle
“Knock knock.”
Rebecca looks up to see Ted standing at the entrance of her office, hand raised against the doorframe.
“Is now still good?”
“Of course,” She gestures to the chair across from her. “Take a seat.”
While Ted gets situated, she pulls out a folder with small brightly colored flags sticking out along one side.
“Now, Coach Lasso,” she starts, opening the front flap. “You signed a two-year contract with the club, with you and Beard coming in mid-season.”
“Yes, ma’am. I remember.”
“And now that you and the team have finished your second season together, it’s time to begin talks for contract renewal,” she flips through the papers looking for the terms section.
“Great. Where do I sign.”
She pauses mid-flip. “You can’t just sign the same contract.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not how it’s done,” she says pointedly, as if he hasn’t already done this a million times in his career.
“Well, I trust my original contract was perfectly fair, Boss. So if it’s all the same to you,” Ted reaches for her pen cup.
She sighs. This is not how she planned for this conversation to go, but perhaps she shouldn’t be surprised.
“Can you at least try to work with me here? Let’s start with base salary. Give me a number.” She gives him her best, serious-business stare, but he's distracted, picking through the cup for his favorite pen. The one with a small greyhound floating through the liquid-filled chamber.
“Four.”
“Something a bit higher, please.”
“Look, I’m happy with the contract I signed,” he gives a little ‘a-ha’ when he finds the pen, twisting it open. “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it. That’s my motto”
“Coach Lasso. The team’s been promoted. It would be irresponsible of me to not reward that with some sort of raise.”
He smiles a little at that and she thinks about what she just said. Her cheeks are suddenly quite warm, but she will not be distracted.
“Let me show you something.” She turns the folder toward him and points to a line halfway down the page. “This is your current salary.”
Ted leans over, reads the paper and nods his head. So far so good.
“And this,” she pulls out a piece of paper from a second folder. “This is where the rest of the premier league managers sit.”
She waits for his eyes to bug out. Some of the numbers are admittedly exorbitant, but she’s trying to make a point.
However Ted just nods again and sits back in his chair, smiling.
“And is that what you were planning to give me?”
“Well yes, I was trying to,” she considers him for a moment. “I must say, this is an effective strategy for getting me to show my cards. Now can we move on to the rest of the terms?”
But Ted isn’t finished.
“Boss, do you know how much a mid-level, college American football coach makes?” he asks, shaking his head and smiling. “Trust me, being here is a promotion and a raise all in one. I’m very happy with my current salary.”
Rebecca can’t believe she’s having this conversation. It’s one of the more surreal moments in her career.
“Ted. Why are you trying to talk me out of paying you more? Paying what you deserve?” The words come out harsher than she means them. “This is standard business and, frankly, you are leaving money on the table.”
“How about this,” he puts one elbow on her desk and leans forward to tap the contract with the tip of his pen. “Why don’t you add a line item for one new pair of sneakers a season and a post-game beer with the boss after every home match.”
She sighs. “I’m being serious.”
“So am I.”
“The club brought in more money this season than the last two combined.” She believed in Ted and the team, but even she was blown away by the end-of-season windfall. Ted attributed it to the addition of hot dogs to the stadium menu.
“Well people do love a Cinderella story.”
“Yes, but at the end Cinderella gets to be very, very wealthy. At least take the car service?”
“Hm, that’s not really my style. But the glass slipper. . .” He taps the paper until Rebecca begrudgingly writes, one new pair of sneakers per a season.
They go back and forth another ten minutes before Rebecca decides she’s entertained Ted long enough.
“I’m exhausted,” she sighs, picking up her pen. “I’m giving you the £5 million.” She goes to write in the number when Ted’s hand stops hers. It’s embarrassing how hard it is to focus with the warmth and weight of his palm against her skin.
“Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. And I get it, really. But I have an idea.”
Rebecca considers the man sitting across from her, eyes earnest, asking her to trust him. He hasn’t led her astray yet.
“I’m listening . . .”
In the end, he agrees to a 1% raise, a fraction of what she originally proposed. Which is how the team and staff ends up with a surprise end of season bonus and 0.01% shares in the club. The shares are more symbolic than anything.
What’s left will go back into operations, new weights in the locker room, and extra sessions with the PT. They’ll get a new TV for the bus and a slush fund for team birthdays.
She has to admit it’s a good compromise. Even if it leaves Ted woefully undervalued.
”Are we done here?” Rebecca asks, considering the page of handwritten terms.
“Yeah, Boss. I think so.”
Rebecca sinks into her chair, blows a piece of loose hair away from her face. She raises her brows at Ted who is looking very pleased with himself.
“Dear, you could have warned me you weren’t planning on negotiating.”
“Sorry Sweetheart, I think it’s important we maintain personal and professional boundaries.”
She hums, acknowledging her own words being used against her.
“Besides, that was kind of fun, wasn’t it?” His voice is low and gravely, a little dangerous.
She swivels in her chair, fighting a smile.
“I’m not sure you fully understand the point of those boundaries.”
He laughs and Rebecca's heart clenches with fondness.
He stands up, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“Well I guess I’ll see you at home. I gotta last-minute strategy meeting with Beard and Nate.”
“Sounds good.”
He looks at her like the cat who caught the canary.
“You gonna watch me walk away?”
She sighs, but nods her head.
“Yes, Ted. Yes I am.”
He grins and taps her desk before turning to leave with a wink. “I’ll add a little jaunt to it for ya.”
He was incorrigible, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.
A few moments later her phone rings. It’s Ted.
“Hey, Sweetheart, guess what?
“What?”
“I got a raise today. Boss was a real tough cookie, but I think I held my own.”
She rolls her eyes, chuckling softly.
“Congratulations. We should celebrate.”
“Order in?”
She can already see them sitting on the couch with a shared blanket, surrounded by takeaway containers as he recounts their conversation play-by-play until she finds an effective way of keeping him quiet.
“Sounds like a deal.”
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detectivesebcas · 3 years
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Promptober 2021 Day 13- Mafia (AU)
Requested by: anon
Warnings: none
----
Sebastian is already sweating enough that his target should be able to smell his fear a mile away, and he’s not even in the door yet.
He moves forward, flanked by two armed security personnel, toward the house.  It’s one of those sprawling pseudo-mansions in the suburbs of Krimson City, the kind that might be more at home in the Hollywood hills, and the immaculate lawn and elaborate landscaping complete the look.  He can’t gawk for too long, because Valentini’s goons are ushering him up the marble steps and through the front door.
He almost laughs when he sees the inside.  The statues and fountains in the entryway, the artwork displayed on the walls, the faint strains of classical music make him feel like he’s in one of the Godfather movies.  Surely even Valentini isn’t this much of a stereotype.
Of course, Valentini was bold enough to burn down a rival art gallery in broad daylight, and the owners of said gallery seemed to be pretty clear about exactly what happened, so maybe Valentini really is just that brazen.  Regardless, it’s Sebastian’s job to investigate, and that is what brings him to Valentini’s home now.
He feels quite exposed, even though the rest of the Organized Crime team is on the other end of the radio.  The earpiece he’s wearing is basically invisible, and the microphone sewn into the collar of his shirt is similarly unobtrusive, but it’s still a frightening prospect to walk right into the lion’s den equipped like this.
It wasn’t even by chance that he was selected for this mission.  Valentini asked for him specifically, according to his sergeant.  He’s still not sure how he feels about that, but now his heart is pounding as he steps up to the door of what must be Valentini’s study.
One of the guards knocks, and a voice from within says, “Enter.”
The guard pushes the door open.  Sebastian takes a deep breath and steps forward.
The study is just as grand as the rest of the house- black and white checkered carpet on the floor and red velvet curtains draping every wall.  There is art here too, but this is more photography, and based on the research he’s done into Valentini, he suspects these are his own creations.  He almost shudders to think of the grisly murders they’ve been working, the ones that have to be related to Valentini and his photographs, but he catches himself.  Maybe he can sneak a look at some of them while he’s here, but it won’t do any good to get caught doing that now.
Valentini is seated behind a large desk with a dark finish, but he rises to his feet as Sebastian comes in and extends his hand.
“Ah, Detective Castellanos,” he says.
Sebastian clears his throat and quickly wipes his palm on his pants leg.
“Good afternoon,” he says, stepping forward and reaching out to take Valentini’s hand, which is encased in a leather glove.  Valentini’s face is perfectly composed- or at least, the part of it Sebastian can see is, and he imagines the other half is as well, though it’s concealed behind a curtain of dark hair.
“Please, sit,” Valentini says, and Sebastian realizes as he sits down across from Valentini that he is the one who set up this meeting and that he had better come up with something to say.
“Thank you for meeting with me,” he begins.  Valentini nods politely.  “I’m sure you know about the fire at the Park Avenue Gallery.”
It’s a bold approach, but he doesn’t think Valentini’s the kind of guy he can bullshit for any length of time.
“Yes,” Valentini says.  “I am aware.  Have you developed a suspect.”
“Not yet,” Sebastian says.  “That’s actually what I’m working on, and I wanted to talk to you since you also own an art gallery in Krimson-”
“The premiere art gallery in Krimson,” Valentini corrects him.
“Right,” he says quickly.  He wants to point out that of course Valentini is going to have the premiere art gallery if he keeps eliminating the competition, but that isn’t going to help him get closer to his goal.  He tries to get back on track.
“Have you received any threats to your own gallery?  Or have you seen anything suspicious over there?”
“No,” Valentini replies, “but as you can see, I maintain a high level of security at all my facilities.”
Sebastian nods.  Apparently Valentini isn’t even going to pretend to be worried about an attack on his own gallery.  He needs to push a little harder, but he doesn’t want to endanger any potential witnesses by naming names, so he tries a different approach.
“You know, the arson investigators did note some interesting findings in their report-” he begins, but that’s as far as he gets before Valentini leans across the desk to take him by the arm.  His visible eye is boring into Sebastian, though Sebastian can’t tell whether he’s angry or excited.  His voice is low, and Sebastian leans in to hear him, breath caught in his throat.
“I do not think it benefits either of us to make pretenses about what is going on here,” he begins.  “Surely you know what has happened to other investigators who have come to my home.”
Sebastian nods.  He does.
“You, Sebastian- may I call you Sebastian?”
Sebastian nods.  He doesn’t know what else to say at this point.
“You have my interest.  I expect you will be my point of contact going forward in this investigation, and I will grant you some leeway to perform your duties, but surely you understand there are boundaries I must maintain, things I cannot allow.”
Sebastian nods.
Valentini pauses, then adds, “If you ever come into my home wearing a surveillance device again, it will be the last thing you ever do.”
Sebastian nods.
“Very well,” Valentini says.  “That is all.”
Sebastian is halfway back to the car before he lets out the breath he’s been holding.
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tsrookie · 4 years
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For the hc asks, what do you think would happen if at some point in Ethan and MC's future, Ethan was the one in some kind of serious accident/illness? There's lots of fics where something happens to MC, and obviously we have canon with the attack, but I'm curious about your thoughts on the opposite happening
Oof. Thanks for the ask anon! (This just turned into something completely different from what I had initially planned, so it’s a bit lengthy)
——————————
MC’s halfway through her third year. It’s an absolute pain with Leland around. He prioritises finding a cure for Caroline over everything else, so the diagnostics team is unable to give their fullest to the patients who actually need them. He keeps adding more facilities to the hospital, so the construction work seems never ending at this point.
She arrives at the hospital for her night shift, when she hears a loud explosion. She looks up in horror and sees a room on the sixth floor in flames.
Dread settles into the pit of her stomach as she rushes into the hospital, barging past security. Ethan had texted her just a few minutes ago, asking her to meet him on that very same floor.
Ethan feels a sharp pain in his forehead, and realises that he’s bleeding. He keeps little Jess close to him as she cries in fear. The poor kid was searching for her parents, and he had offered to help. They had reached the gas cylinder room, when Ethan saw the sparks.
The newly connected wires had broken, and the sparks were flying dangerously close to the gas canisters. He rushed into a nearby room and slammed the door shut, with a terrified Jess in his arms.
The loud explosion sent him hurtling to the the opposite side of the room. Jess clinged on to him for dear life, her fearful cries muffled by the roaring fire.
He takes a moment to recover from the initial shock, then his doctor instincts kick in. He lays Jess down and asks her to tell him if she feels any pain. She cries out loud when he checks her leg. She’s bleeding profusely due to a deep gash, and there was only so much pain she could take.
He takes off his coat and ties it around her leg to control the bleeding. She frightfully asks him if they were going to be safe. He takes a deep breath to try and nullify his own pain. MC’s image flashes through his mind, and the throbbing ache takes a backseat. He nods determinedly to Jess, internally vowing to get back to MC, no matter what it took.
He scans his surroundings. He sees the fire slowly spreading to the rest of the floor, and the walls threatening to crack and fall.
He manages to locate a door amongst the smoke across the corridor. He picks Jess up and tells a silent prayer for them to safely get out of there.
He narrowly misses a huge canister by seconds. He tries to calm himself down for Jess’ sake, but finds it incredibly hard to do given the hazardous environment. He feels his vision grow blurry as the smoke threatens to overwhelm him, but snaps out of it when Jess lets out another cry.
He finally reaches the door, and almost falls to his knees gasping for air. He staggers down the stairs, just as another explosion reaches his ears.
He hears loud shouts from the opposite side of the corridor. He can barely register whose voice it was before he finally collapses. The last thing he sees is a flash of auburn.
MC yells orders to everyone nearby, terrified at the sight of Ethan’s unconscious form. She drops to her knees and checks his pulse, all while trying to get him to wake up.
The nurses carry a passed out Jess to a nearby patient room, as more doctors arrive to place Ethan on a stretcher. Zaid holds MC back from going with them, despite her desperate cries.
Miraculously, he hasn’t suffered any major injuries. Just a few minor burns and cuts on his arms and legs. He passed out mainly due to smoke inhalation, due to which he was to be placed on the ventilator for a while. MC heaves out a sigh of relief when she’s informed that Ethan would make a full recovery in a week or two.
Jess is alright as well. Three more people suffered injuries due to the accident, but none fatal.
Ethan wakes up to MC holding his hand and stroking his hair. She doesn’t have to say a word for him to understand how he scared the living daylights out of her. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying and lack of sleep.
She gives him a tired smile, filled with relief and love. He gives her hand a weak squeeze, and she presses a soft kiss to it.
She gets into the bed, careful not to touch any of his wounds. Kissing his forehead, she settles in for a much required nap, with his hands intertwined with hers.
Once he’s able to talk, he spends an entire hour with MC before seeing anyone else. He asks her about Jess, and is relieved to know that she’s recovering well.
He apologises to MC for putting her through the pain and fear he had once experienced. She silences him with a kiss, and tells him that none of it was his fault. She assures him that the only thing that mattered to her was that he had saved a little girl’s life, and gotten himself out of there.
When Ethan is asked whether he’ll be able to speak at a board meeting regarding the incident, he asks for MC to speak on his behalf. She protests, saying that she’s a mere third-year resident, but relents when Ethan tells her she’s the only one he trusts enough to have his best interests by heart.
At the meeting, Leland doesn’t own up to his mistakes, and constantly keeps emphasising on the fact that mistakes and accidents take place. He offers to compensate for the losses with more money.
When the board tells him that this isn’t something he can easily fix with a mount load of cash, and point out the various smaller mishaps that have taken place since his acquisition of Edenbrook, he shrugs it off and tells them that Edenbrook has had plenty of accidents in the past, and no further measures were taken after the attack the previous year. Something inside MC snaps at that moment.
“No. No, you don’t get to talk about what happened last year. You weren’t there when this hospital lost two of their finest members. You weren’t there to see how everyone suffered from their deaths. You don’t know how much Danny and Bobby meant to everyone in this room. Travis Perry, the one who set the gas free, died before any further action could be taken. You don’t know the fear of every single doctor who worked to find the cure. You don’t know about how much I personally went through watching two of my friends die, and one of them nearly. You don’t know the physical and mental toil it took on the victims. You. Have. No idea. About any of that. What happened last year wasn’t just an accident due to negligence on the hospital’s part, it was a textbook definition of an assassination attack. So yeah, you don’t get to compare what happened last year to you turning a blind eye to the problems of the hospital, because of the extra renovations you made. If someone had died in this...”
Her eyes burn with a fire no one had ever witnessed before. She takes a deep breath, trying not to think of what could’ve happened to Ethan, before continuing at a shell-shocked Leland, who looks like a deer caught in headlights.
“If someone had died in this fire, it would’ve been entirely on your shoulders, for failing to properly supervise the constructions. This isn’t the way things are supposed to work at a hospital, Leland. You want the hospital to become a premier research center, but did you honestly think about that when the hospital was sinking? Did you attend that charity gala last year, which was our last chance of saving the hospital? Did you find the need to donate money when we needed the most? You want a cure for Caroline, and that’s understandable. But you can’t keep making changes around here, and then fail to oversee the transitions properly. So please, stop trying to say that what just happened, wasn’t your fault.”
She finally sits down, with every single person in the room in complete awe. Naveen glances at her direction with a glimmer of pride. She isn’t an intern who used to have trouble navigating the corridors anymore. She’s a doctor who knows her place in the hospital, a member of the most prestigious diagnostics team in the country, and she knew damn well what was right and what was wrong.
MC knows that she could possibly lose her job due to her outburst, yet the looks on the faces of the board members tell her otherwise. The rest of the meeting passes with Leland finally admitting to his negligence over the more minor details, which have cause issues since he came to the hospital. They agree to have a few more meetings to discuss the measures to be taken to fix the damages of the accident, and Leland’s administration.
Naveen walks up to her after the meeting, and tells her that she technically wouldn’t be in any trouble, since she was speaking on Ethan’s behalf, and he would’ve done the exact same thing she had done. And no one would dare speak up against Ethan Ramsey. She laughs at the truthfulness of the statement.
“But I never want to become a carbon copy of him at any point. That would be terrible.”
“Now what would be so bad about that?”
“He terrorises the interns! I never want to become that strict.”
“Well... he hasn’t been terrorising them that much recently. Probably since he knows a certain someone was an intern when he first fell for them.”
She smiles sheepishly, as they both walk towards Ethan’s room.
“I’m really glad he’s okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done if...” She trails off, not wanting to finish the sentence.
“I know, MC. Me too.”
Once she reaches Ethan’s room, her lips quirk up into a smile as she finds him trying to pass time on social media. After a quick kiss, he asks her about the meeting. She relays the entire thing, and needless to say, he’s highly impressed.
He tells her to go home after a while, but she tenderly replies that she wasn’t going anywhere. He stayed by her side when she was a patient, and she wasn’t about to leave him when the tables were turned.
Ethan sighs, and pulling MC close, he finally drifts off into a peaceful slumber.
——————————
A/N: I gave it a happy ending!😅 I know this was more of a mini-fic than a hc, but I couldn’t help myself! Hope it made sense, ‘cause I have no clue about any construction work whatsoever.
Also, thank you so much for all the requests you’ve been sending! I’ve got plenty of stuff to work on now, so thanks a lot for that💙
Taglist: @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @starrystarrytrouble @dxnicaramsey @decadentwinnerjudgedream @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @rookiefromedenbrook @bratzlahela @eramsey28 @the-pale-goddess @ohchoices @wellhelloramsey @pitchblackstars @mvalentine @swiftlydarcy @utterlyinevitable @angela8754 @akshara16 @sushiharrington @drethanramslay @lion-ess24 @whippedforethanfreakingramsey @choicesstan1 @aarisa-frost @drariellevalentine @perriewinklenerdie @blossomanarchy @nikki-2406 @stateofgracious @takemyopenheart @open-heart-ramseyyy @maurine07 @udishaman @queencarb @ethanramseylover @rookiemarsswiftie @aworldoffandoms
Let me know if you wanna be added to or removed from the taglist!
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connordavidscamera · 4 years
Text
Wonder | Connor Brashier
A/n: obviously this is based off Wonder because it’s so good and I couldn’t not write something for it. 
Summary: You and Connor are at the launch party for Wonder and Connor has a surprise for you (established relationship)
Warnings: fluff
Word count: 1.8k
***
“I didn’t know they had launch parties for songs. I thought it was just for albums,” I say as I slide into my shoes.
“Well, it’s not an actual launch party, per se. It’s really just Shawn getting the team together for the release. It’s casual.”
“I know, I actually get to wear pants to this party,” I joke. 
Connor rolls his eyes. “Yes you do.” But then his eyes are raking me up and down and he bites his lip. “And damn, do you look good in them.”
“Hey, eyes up here, mister.” I say, reaching forward to lift his chin so his pretty eyes are on my face.
He smirks, “Okay, but what’s it gonna take for you to let me get you out of these for a quickie before we leave?”
I shake my head, “Nope. You’ve already had me three times today. You can wait until we get back.”
He pouts, “No I can’t. I’m needy and you’re hot.”
I laugh, “Flattery will get you everywhere, but not right now. We’re already running late.”
“It’s Shawn, he won’t care.”
“No, but you know your girlfriend is one for punctuality.”
He rolls his eyes, “Annoyingly so, yes.”
I gasp and hit his arm playfully, “You used to think it was cute!”
“Yeah, before it meant I couldn’t have my way with you before a party.”
I scoff and roll my eyes, “If you’re a good boy maybe I’ll let you have me while we’re at the party. How’s that sound?”
He perks up at the idea, eyes glimmering with a child like sparkle. “Really?”
How could I say no when he looks at me like that? “Yes, baby. But we have to go now before traffic hits.”
He leans forward and kisses my forehead. “After you, my love.”
“You’re gonna stare at my ass while I walk out, aren’t you?” I pull away from him with an amused smile.
He just shrugs, “I might.”
I pinch his cheek, “Well then I’ll put a little more pep in my step to give you a show.”
He groans, throwing his head back, “You’ll be the death of me, you know that, right?”
I hum and turn to walk out of our bedroom, his eyes following me as I go. 
---
“Another drink, my love?” Connor asks when he sees my empty cup in my hands.
“You trying to get me drunk, Brashier?” I tease, looking up at him. 
“Oh yes. That’s exactly it.”
I nod, “Nothing too strong, please?”
“You got it. Kiss?” he puckers his lips and I lean up to meet his lips but scrunch up my face. “You taste like whiskey.”
He chuckles. “Sorry, love. I’ll be right back.”
I nod and turn back to Shawn and Brian who are attempting to play beer pong against Sylvie and Justin. Brian isn’t very good, but he’s drank a lot more than Shawn has, so his aim is a little off. 
“Bri, you’re supposed to make it in the cup,” Sylvie taunts. 
“Shut up,” he grumbles, and sticks his tongue out a little as he squints at the cups on the opposite side of the table. And when it makes it in he’s more excited than I’ve ever seen him before. “Fuck yes! Yes! You’re supposed to make it in the cup,” he mocks. 
“Why is he screaming?” Connor asks when he returns with my drink.
“He made it in.”
“About time,” he checks the time on his watch. “Speaking of time. Shawn, you have to get on the premier. You have ten minutes.”
“Oh, shit, yeah. Thanks, Brash.” he pats Brian’s back and goes, “You’re on your own, Craigen. Good luck.”
“Where’s Anna?” he asks, looking around the room. “Y/n, where’s Anna. She’s good at this game.”
 “I think she went to get a drink.”
“Anna!” he yells. “Come be my partner for beer pong!” When she doesn’t answer immediately he groans. “Anna!”
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, Craigen. I heard you the first time.”
“Be my partner,” he pouts. 
“Yeah, whatever.”
I look back at my boy who is already looking at me. “Shouldn’t you be with Shawn? Sober him up a bit?”
He shakes his head. “No, he’s okay. Wanna be with my girl.”
I nod and turn in his arms to face him fully. “You know, you still haven’t told me much about this song.”
“I know. It’s a surprise.”
“But why?”
“You’ll see when it premieres.”
I pout. “But I wanna know now.”
“Nope, you’ll have to wait and see.”
I groan. “Why won’t you tell me? What? Are you in the video? Is my baby in front of the camera instead of behind it this time?”
He chuckles, “No. I’m not in the video.”
I huff. “Tell me!!!”
He shakes his head with a bright smile. “No, my love. You’ll see it,” he checks his watch again “Thirty-five minutes.”
“Tease,” I grumble.
“Says the one who told me we could have a quickie in the bathroom and has yet to follow through.”
“Well I said that would happen if you were a good boy. But you’re not telling me things so,” I shrug. “Guess no quickie.”
He growls in my ear and I’m almost reconsidering my answer. Almost.  
“Fine,” he mutters, “I’m gonna set up the TV for the premiere. You okay here?”
“Mhm, I’m gonna watch Brian lose another round.”
Brian gasps and turns to face me. “You too?!” His face morphs into what almost looks like true betrayal, but I still can’t fight the laugh that escapes.
“Guys, three minute warning! Get your drunk asses out here and settle in,” Sylvie calls from the living room. 
“Anna sit with me,” Brian begs as Anna and I make our way to the room. 
“I was gonna sit with y/n, but-”
“She’s gonna sit with Connor. Please?” He asks again, making puppy dog eyes at her. I roll my eyes and push her into him. 
“Oh just sit with him. He’ll never shut up if you don’t.”
“Ah,” Connor says when he spots me. “There’s my love.” He holds a hand out for me. “I saved you a seat.” He smirks, patting his lap. 
I shake my head and fall into him, not in the mood to tease him now. “My favorite seat,” I mumble, resting my head on his shoulder.
As everyone settles in, I play with Connor’s fingers, spin his ring a few times before taking it off of him and sliding it on my thumb. I half expect him to take it back when he lifts my hand. But he brings my thumb to his lips and kisses it over the ring before lacing our fingers and bringing them back down to my lap. “I love you,” he whispers into my hair.
“I love you,” I whisper back.
“Okay,” Shawn says, coming into the room. “Are you guys ready?” he asks excitedly, plopping himself down on the floor, his back against the armrest of the chair Connor and I are sitting in.
Connor squeezed my thigh. “Are you ready for the surprise?” He asks me.
I nod excitedly. “I’m very excited.”
“It’s starting,” Sylvie says for the few stragglers that were making their way into the room. 
I’m already hooked by the countdown. It’s very Alice and Wonderland-esque, with the swirling clock. By the time the opening harmonies come in I’m leaning forward to squeeze Shawn’s shoulder. “You sound good, Rockstar,” I whisper. 
By the middle of the song, I’m nodding and humming along to the song. But when Shawn gets to the last chorus I look back at Connor. “Wait, bubba, what’s the surprise?”
“It’s coming. Wait until the end.”
I furrow my brows and turn my attention back to the screen. Shawn’s just finished the chorus and is on his knees on the cliff as the camera gets closer to him. And the screen cuts to black.
Directed by Matty Peacock
And then another two seconds later:
Written by
Shawn Mendes
Matty Peacock
Connor Brashier
I gasp and look at my boy who is already smiling at me. “You wrote this!”
He chuckles, “Well only some of it.”
“That doesn’t matter. You wrote it!”
“So, good surprise?” 
I scoff and wrap my arms around him. “The best surprise. I am so fucking proud of you.”
He kisses the underside of my jaw and rubs my back, “Thank you, my love. Couldn’t do it without you.”
“Well,” Shawn asks, standing up. “What did you guys think?”
I pull away from Connor and look up at Shawn. “It was amazing! Probably your best song yet. You literally just keep getting better.”
He glares at me, “Your opinion doesn’t count. You’re biased because your boyfriend helped write it.”
I shrug, “That’s true, yes. But you’ve seen my boyfriend? I clearly have taste, so I would know. And this is your best song to date.”
Connor laughs into my shoulder and pinches my side, “y/n, come on.”
“Why are you getting embarrassed? This is phenomenal and I am so proud of you. Both of you,” I say.
---
Nearly two hours later, I won’t let Connor stop playing the song. But so we’re not annoying the rest of the group, he plays it for me on his phone - the music video though, because I want to see his name at the end. Doesn’t matter how many times I see it, it still fills me with so much pride and joy for the beautiful man in my arms right now. He and I are swaying drunkenly to the song on the balcony outside. It’s just us two and it’s perfect, it’s euphoric. 
“Been dreaming that you feel it, too. I wonder what it’s like to be loved by you,” he mumbles into my hair as he spins us slowly and I look up at him with a bright smile.
“What?” He asks, brushing a strand of hair from my face. “Why are you so smiley?”
I hum and push up on my toes just the slightest bit to press my lips to his in a soft kiss. “You don’t have to wonder,” I say when I pull away.
“What do you mean?”
“You don’t have to wonder what it’s like. To be loved by me?”
I watch as his face morphs into something that I can’t quite place. 
“What?” 
“I adore you. Like I truly, desperately adore you.” He places his hands on either side of my face and kisses me, this time with a little more passion than the one I just gave him. “I’m so lucky,” he hums, using his thumb to pull my bottom lip a little, just for it to pop back in place. 
I shake my head, “I’m lucky. Luckiest girl in the entire world.”
“If you’re the luckiest woman, let me be the luckiest man in the world,” He whispers, tracing his thumb down the column of my neck.  
I nod, “Okay. We can both be lucky to know what it’s like to be loved by one another.”
“Yeah, we never have to wonder.”
***
I hope you enjoyed! Please like, reblog, and leave feedback!!
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Connor tag: @gangofhoes @verlaneswiftie13
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slowly-writing · 4 years
Text
Break a Leg
Wanda Maximoff x Reader
Word count: 1.2K
Part two
Requested by anon: Hey could I request a Wanda maximoff dating a famous actress x fem reader who's her girlfriend for three years and Wanda watches her movies and shows and absolutely loves it even tho at first she didn't get her love for acting but now she does as she sees how happy you are with it? And maybe y/n is in an interview and the entire avengers are watching and they ask abt Wanda and what's it like being her girlfriend and if she misses her when she's on missions and y/n is flustered a lot,just fluff!
“Tony did what?” you’re gasping for breath, trying to contain your laughter as Wanda tells you about her day.
“He lit his sleeve on fire. He didn’t even notice until one of his robots was spraying him with a fire extinguisher.” You’re wiping tears from your eyes as someone knocks on the door, entering before you can respond.
“Miss y/l/n, we’re ready for you in makeup,” a young guy with a clipboard tells you and you nod.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” you wait for him to leave before picking up your phone from the couch next to you and taking it off speaker. “Alright my love, I gotta go.”
“Noooooo, I don’t want you to go yet,” Wanda whines and you can’t help but share her feelings.
“I know. I miss you too, but I just have a few more interviews to finish up and then I’m flying home tomorrow night,” you promise and she sighs.
“Fine. I really can’t wait until you come home. The team is having a viewing party for your interview tonight,” you laugh at the thought of the avengers taking time out of their day to watch you talk about a movie they’ve all heard you talking about since you auditioned.
“Way to make me nervous,” she laughs and you can almost hear her eye roll through the phone. “Okay, I really have to go now. I love you so much, I’ll call you in the morning.”
“I love you too. Break a leg tonight.”
xxxxx
“For my next guest I have two time Oscar nominee and leading lady of the upcoming movie, Phantom Zone. Please welcome, y/n y/l/n!” you hear the crowd applauding and you take a deep breath before walking out onto the stage. The lights are bright and the only thing going through your head as you wave to the audience is “Please don’t trip. Please don’t trip. Please don’t trip.” You really don’t need to take Wanda’s wish of good luck literally and end up on crutches. Luckily you make it across the floor in one piece and greet the host before sitting down.
“So y/n, you’ve come a long way for such a young actress. Why don’t you tell us a bit about your new movie,” the host starts and you go back and forth with the normal questions. With this being the second to last day of your press tour you’ve lost count of how many interviews you’ve had. You could answer these questions in your sleep, so you go through the motions until the host throws you for a loop with a more personal question.
“So y/n, you’ve been seen spending quite a bit of time in New York with a certain witch. Care to comment on that?” the host asks and you chuckle. You can feel your cheeks heating up and the knowledge that your face is bright red on live television only makes you blush more.
“What do you want to know?” you shoot back and he laughs, glad that you didn’t refuse to answer.
“Why don’t we start with how you two met,” he suggests and you nod. You’ve never commented much on your relationship but after three years you and Wanda decided you’re alright with the world knowing a bit more about you.
“It was a bit over three years ago now, I was staying in New York between filming seasons of Walking Dead. I was in central park enjoying the weather and Wanda just walked right up to me, I freaked out a bit. I was meeting my favorite superhero, it was quite a shock. She had no idea who I was at that time which was a nice change of pace. She was beyond lost so I helped her find her way out of the park and the rest is history.”
“She didn’t know who you were? You’re kidding, right?” he asks and you laugh with him before responding.
“Trust me, I was a little shocked too. I try to stay humble, but I was also a cocky nineteen year old. It was a week before the Oscars and I was nominated for best supporting actress. I thought everyone knew who I was. Don’t tell her I told you this, but her having never heard of any of my movies was probably a really good ego check for me,” you lean in as if it's a secret and he pretends to zip his lips.
“Your secret is safe with me. Though if she’s watching this, I am not responsible.”
“Oh she definitely is. I talked to her earlier, they’re having a viewing party at the Avenger’s compound,” you say and his eyes widen.
“The avengers are watching my show,” you can’t tell if his shock is real or not, so you try to hold back your laughter as you nod. “Does that not intimidate you even a little?”
“I mean no, not really. Trust me, when Wanda introduced me to the team I thought I was gonna pass out, but after you’ve seen them scream at each other over a 2am monopoly game in their pajamas the intimidation wears off,” you say with a smile.
“That would definitely make them seem less scary. Has Wanda seen your movies now?” he asks and you groan.
“Yes. She made me watch them all with her. Don’t get me wrong, I love the stuff I was in. If I wasn’t in them I’d probably binge them on repeat, but something about sitting in a living room watching yourself on a screen is just awkward. I love premiers even watching it in theaters can be fun, but I don’t enjoy watching them alone. That one scene in walking dead made her cry though. I was pretty proud of that acting, plus the zombie makeup was fun,” you’re referring to when your character was killed off a few seasons back. The fact that you were able to make her cry over “your” death while sitting right next to her was pretty cool. “She goes to all the premieres and viewing parties with me now, so she sees it all.”
“I can see how that could be uncomfortable, but I’m glad you made it through. Now you better not break her heart, that team of her’s will come after you,” he says and you roll your eyes.
“Oh please, I would never. I’m gonna marry that girl one day,” you say and the audience  let’s out a collective “awwwwww.”
“On that note we are unfortunately out of time. Thank you so much for being here tonight, Phantom Zone is in theaters October 18th!” The host calls. You wave at the camera until a crew member yells clear, then you say goodbye to the host and make your way back to your dressing room. Little do you know as that’s happening Wanda is sitting on the couch back in New York, cheeks bright red and a smile on her face. At your final words she makes a decision. It’s time for the ring in her nightstand to leave the drawer and go onto your finger.
tag list: @rvgrsbrns @rororo06 @prizmix-and-friends @worlds-in-words @im-salt-but-not-salty @5aftermidnight @riotmaximoff
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let-it-raines · 4 years
Text
Walking the Baseline (1/1)
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He’s at the top of his game. She’s in the midst of a comeback. The Olympics are just around the corner, and there’s more than gold medals on the line. There’s secrets and personal lives and a lot more at risk than simply losing, but as most know, Killian Jones and Emma Swan hate to lose. 
rating: mature (just to err on the safe side)
a/n: Hello, hello, my darlings! I was informed of the @captainswanolympics as I’ve missed so much in my time of only checking messages and posting YWUSS, and I just had to write a tennis AU. If you know me, you know I played tennis back in the day, worked behind the scenes for a professional tennis tournament, and am an avid fan, so the fact that I haven’t written more CS tennis is surprising. lol. 
This one is short and sweet, and it’s the first CS I’ve written in months. So I genuinely hope you enjoy it. And no, you don’t have to know tennis to understand 🎾 
ao3: | here |
tag list: @qualitycoffeethings​ @mrtinski​ @klynn-stormz​ @scarletslippers​ @jonirobinson64​ @snowbellewells​ @therealstartraveller776​ @thejollyroger-writer​ @sherifemma​ @galaxyzxstark​ @galadriel26​ @idristardis​ @karenfrommisthaven​ @teamhook​ @spartanguard​ @searchingwardrobes​ @jamif​ @shireness-says​ @ultimiflos​ @nikkiemms​ @onepunintendid​ @bluewildcatfanatic​ @superchocovian​ @killianswannn​ @carpedzem​ @captainkillianswanjones​ @mayquita​ @mariakov81​ @jennjenn615​ @onceuponaprincessworld​ @a-faekindagirl​ @scientificapricot​ @xellewoods​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @stahlop​ @kmomof4​ @tiganasummertree​ @singersdd​ @tornadoamy​ @cluttermind​ @lfh1226-linda​ @andiirivera​ @itsfabianadocarmo​
-/-
“My legs feel like jelly,” Emma sighs as she sinks into an ice bath. It’s never pleasant, and it may not even help, but it makes her feel better every time. “Like, I don’t think I’m going to be able to walk when I get out of here. I don’t think I can even stand now.”
“You say that after every long match,” David tells her, clicking away at his iPad. There’s no doubt he’s studying her stats and about to pick her apart in a friendly yet incredibly harsh way that is a David trademark. “Is your shoulder okay? Your first serve percentage was up, but your speed was down.”
Yep. He’s so predictable. She knew that was coming the moment she decided to change the speed on her serves.
“I’m fine. I’m tired. I mean, shit, David. It’s like the tour is trying to ruin our bodies. My last two-week break was when? March? It’s almost August, and it’s not going to stop there.”
“You’ve made it before. You can do it again.”
“That’s not encouraging.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to tell me that I don’t have to do this.”
David looks up from his iPad, brow raised, and she knows she’s not going to get the answer she wants. He doesn’t tell her she can quit unless they’re in a heated argument after disagreeing on her service motion or her footwork, which will always be her downfall when she’s exhausted, or any other aspect of her game. That’s what happens when your coach is not only your couch but also your older brother.
“I’m not going to say that. You’re in the quarterfinals. You play against Svitolina, who you have an excellent record against, and then in the semis, it could go either way with French or Stephens. That’s who we’re worried about. We’re not thinking about the finals until we’re in the finals.”
“I’m not thinking about just the finals. I’m thinking about the fact that I played Madrid, Rome, Roland Garros, Eastbourne, Wimbledon, Washington, here. And now I’m supposed to fly to Rio for the Olympics, then fly to Cincinnati, and then New York. And after New York, we almost immediately fly to Beijing, and it doesn’t stop. I get, what? A month and a half off, but it’s not really off time because we spend that time fixing everything for next season. The only way I get a break is if I lose or I get injured, and I don’t want either of those things.”
Emma’s chest heaves as she finishes speaking, the words flying out faster than her mind can come up with them as she runs through her tournament schedule, and David doesn’t blink. He stares at her like he always does, and sometimes she swears it’s like staring at a male version of herself. And she knows what’s coming. She always does. David never got to play past college, the professional circuit too much for his body, and he always pulls the card of how much he would give to be playing right now, to be in her position. She gets it. If she was in his position, she would do the same thing, but right now, all she really wants is to cry.
“You have worked too hard to quit, Emma,” David sighs, giving her a patented big-brother condescending stare. “You are not going to quit. I know this part of the season is rough, but you push through it every year. And imagine how good it’s going to feel when you have a gold medal around your neck or when you have that US Open trophy in your hands. You don’t get to play forever, and you’re the one who said that you weren’t quitting when everyone would have easily expected it. Do you want to prove them right?”
Emma moves in the bath, sinking a little lower, and damn, her sports bra is going to be impossible to get off. Her gaze shifts from David to the TV where ESPN commentators are sitting at a desk, her Nike-approved picture on the screen beside them. They run through the stats of her match and then her overall career stats. She’s twenty-eight, which is apparently at the end of her career according to them, world number seven, which is also abysmal to them somehow, and she is not living up to her potential when she is a former world number one, six-time grand slam champion, and a gold medalist from four years ago in London.
She groans and tries not to think about how much she hates all the people who work for ESPN. They have their favorites and the ones they hate, and since she is not a mediocre American male or one of the all-time greats, she’s somewhere in between. Usually, she doesn’t listen to the comments, to the pundits, to the assholes. She tries to stay away from that because it will drive her into a deep state of negativity, but lately, it’s like she can’t get enough of listening to what people say about her as if it is going to give her some kind of insight to her game.
She doesn’t crave their validation, but maybe, in a twisted way, she does.
“She gave birth sixteen months ago,” Mary Jo sighs. “She came back a year after giving birth. She is not going to be who she was before she had a child. The fact that she’s won enough this year to be in the top ten is amazing when she started with no ranking since there are no tour protections for maternity leave. She’s a champion, and sometimes champions struggle as they get their form back.”
“Sixteen months is a long damn time,” Patrick says, and Emma’s vagina would beg to differ. “She should be back to how she was or she shouldn’t be playing.”
“Have you given birth, Patrick? Because unless you have, I don’t think you get a say.”
“It’s my job to say what I think.”
“Still, I think – ”
The television clicks off, and Emma’s gaze finds its way back to David. “We’re not listening to them. It’ll piss you off. Mary Jo is right. You’re doing amazing, and I don’t want you to forget that.”
Emma doesn’t know if she’s doing amazing, doesn’t feel that way a lot of the time. This job is hard enough, to kill your body while also having the eyes of the world on you, but adding in a baby? It’s nearly impossible. A few other women have done it before her, not all with spectacular returns or returns at all, and she wants to keep getting better and play for long enough that Olivia will be able to see her mom play and remember it.
She’s not just doing it for herself. She’s doing it for her daughter, whose entrance into the world was unplanned, terrifying, and the best damn thing to ever happen to Emma even if she doubts herself in motherhood every day.
“I miss her,” Emma whispers to David, reaching up to play with her necklace, Olivia’s initials engraved in the gold circle. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it two more weeks without seeing her.”
“Do you want me to get Mary Margaret to FaceTime you with her? They’ve been watching your match at home.”
“No, no.” She shakes her head and releases the pendant, her resolve back as she inhales and focuses on her job. “Let’s do the rest of my recovery and talk about the match. I’ll call them when we get back to the hotel. I don’t want to get my mind too much out of the game.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
-/-
She wins her next match. And the next.
She loses in the final.
It stings more than her losses usually do, and there have been a hell of a lot of them, but she wanted to win another premiere event. She’s only been winning small events so far this year and making it to the later stages of the bigger events, but she keeps falling short when it’s time for her to push herself over the limit. Emma knows that her time will come, but she’s exhausted.
-/-
She flies to Rio with the rest of the American team who were playing in Montreal and Toronto, and she sleeps the entire ride down.
It’s the most sleep she’s gotten since she gave birth.
-/-
The 2012 Olympics felt familiar for Emma. The matches happened at Wimbledon, a place she’s known since she was sixteen years old and has watched on TV since she was even younger than that. Tennis players were isolated from the rest of the sports and events, and they all stayed in their usual rented houses and apartments instead of the Village or other hotels. Rio is different and completely unfamiliar. She’s staying in the Village, and while the amenities aren’t the best, the spirit of the Games are everywhere. She’s seeing athletes she’s only ever seen on TV before, meeting dozens of people whose names quickly slip out of her mind no matter how hard she tries to keep them there, and it’s impossible not to get excited to see all of these great athletes gathered together.
When she was a kid sitting in a foster home with David, the two of them wondering if they’d ever have a forever home, they would watch reruns of the Olympics on the TV, just waiting for the live ones to come around. It was an escape to get to watch people only a few years older than them doing these great things, and even after Ruth adopted them and paid for them to play sports, they never could have imagined being here.
Emma, sitting on a park bench outside with prestigious gymnasts walking in front of her, still can’t imagine it, and she’s literally here.
“Am I allowed to sit here or is that considered fraternizing with the enemy?”
Emma glances up and sees Killian Jones already sliding onto the bench in front of her. He’s darker than the last time she saw him in person, his hair longer, teeth possibly whiter, and he definitely hasn’t shaved in a few too many days. But the cocky, almost a little too arrogant, smile is the same, and even if she said no, he would still sit across from her. She knows him well enough to know that now.
“As far as I’m aware, you’re not playing mixed doubles, so I don’t think you count as an enemy.”
“Ah, but, love, Americans and Brits have been enemies since the beginning. That doesn’t change here.”
“Everyone else gets along. You’re just a competitive ass.”
“Indeed I am.” He wiggles his brows and leans forward, smirk stretched across his lips. “So, I was handed a bag full of Olympic-themed condoms when I checked in. Would you like to go try them out?”
“Shut up,” Emma laughs, kicking his leg. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Too many things to count.” He leans back and crosses his arms over his chest, muscles ever-so-slightly bulging underneath his Team Great Britain t-shirt. She’s wearing a similar one with USA emblazoned in the biggest font she’s ever seen. Not a lot of subtly going on at the moment. “Where’s Ruby? David? Any of the other Americans? Shouldn’t you all be eating or practicing or doing something besides sitting on a bench by the water?”
“Shouldn’t you?”
“Touché, Swan. Touché. Will and I were on the way to eat, but I saw you and got distracted. I don’t have practice until later. Rob is forcing me to give myself a break so I don’t exhaust myself after Toronto.”
“Well, you do have old bones.”
“Oi, I am thirty-two and at the top of my game. How many people can say that?”
“Anyone who is not an athlete.”
Killian shrugs and tilts his head to the side, rolling his shoulders. He’s right, though. Killian is playing better than he ever has. He’s always been good ever since he was touted to be Great Britain’s next big thing. She watched for years as the British media slagged him off for not having won Wimbledon despite having won the other majors two times around, but six years ago, he won after a five-hour, grueling match and fell onto the ground. The image was everywhere, and now, every time she’s in London or Wimbledon, that image lines the walls. It’s how she felt when she won the US Open. All of the major are special, but winning your home one, if you’re lucky enough to have one, is something else. And now Killian is world number one once more, has won two majors in a row with several premiere events in between, and with his form, she can’t imagine him losing.
But that’s why you lace up the sneakers. You never know what’s going to happen.
She’s been around the game long enough to know that.
Killian too.
Their paths have crossed for years, mostly because they have the same sponsors and do a lot of promotional events together, but the more they both started winning, the more they’d see each other at tournaments and dinners and everything in between. It’s a busy life, and while there’s time to make friends outside of tennis, sometimes it’s easier to find people in the industry.
She’s not entirely sure she would call Killian Jones a friend.
“Have you eaten, love?” he asks.
“Not yet.” On cue, her stomach growls, and he smirks, not that he really stopped.
“Why don’t you come with me? You can sit with us before we take the bus to the courts for training.”
“What happened to fraternizing with the enemy?”
He leans forward and winks. “For you, I’ll make an exception.”
Emma laughs but nods and stands with Killian as they walk to the main dining hall. It’s packed, the room echoing with conversation and laughter, and Emma and Killian are stopped several times to take pictures and sign autographs, something she will never get used to, before they sit down with Will, Rob, and several other plays from all around the world. For a minute, it’s like they’re in their usual bubble that they live in for the rest of the year with only tennis players around, but then Emma sees Usain Bolt walk by and she knows they’re not.
This is weird.
This is wonderful.
This is almost everything.
-/-
The Opening Ceremonies are long and sometimes boring, and she hates the outfit she has to wear, but she doesn’t know if she’ll get to do this again in four years so she savors it.
She savors it all, walking side by side with Ruby, Ashley, and Anna, and she takes all of it in before her mind switches to work-mode as she runs through her opponent for her first match. The nerves have been pushed down in favor of the experience, but they’re back and in full-force.
She cannot lose in the first round.
-/-
She doesn’t. -/-
She doesn’t lose her next few matches either.
-/-
Emma’s made it to the quarterfinals in both singles and doubles with Ruby after several days of long matches and struggling to see the ball – whoever thought making a fully green court with green side walls for tennis has obviously never played tennis, and she never wants to play on center court again – and she knows she’s one win away from guaranteeing that she plays in a medal-winning match.
It’s a relief and pressure all at once, something she’ll never grow used to, and as the sun sets and the village begins to get loud, Emma sits on her balcony watching the fountains in the lake light up. Ruby is off with Mulan somewhere Emma would rather not know about and will probably not be back to their room until at least tomorrow morning if the look on Ruby’s face was any indication, so Emma thinks she might get a little time to sit down and breathe for a moment, watching different events on TV. She could go watch them, but she doesn’t think her legs will carry her there.
Until her phone buzzes with a text that she quickly answers, and not three minutes later, there’s a knock at her door.
Emma quickly opens it, pulling him inside, and Killian kicks the door closed behind him as he cups her cheeks and kisses her, long and slow but with enough heat simmering below the surface that Emma knows there could be a promise of more later.
She’s seen him nearly every day for the past week, but she’s missed him.
She’s missed this.
His mouth moves expertly over hers in a rhythm that’s been practiced to perfection, and she feels dizzy with his kiss and holds onto his hair to keep her standing up. The Brazilian summer air wafts through the room, coating it in a thick heat, but Emma doesn’t pay any attention to that as heat curls between her thighs, warming her more than the air ever could. Her legs ache from the match, her arms feel heavy, but Killian makes her forget those things as he lays her down on the bed and kisses every inch of her body, spending time with his dark head of hair buried beneath her thighs until she can no longer speak.
Until she can scarcely breathe as well.
She manages to laugh, though, when he pulls out one of the condoms that has the Olympics logo on it, and she and Killian makes jokes about it as he slides into her, a thick sheath of heat that she never gets used to. It’s slow at first, a gentle rocking that keeps her teetering on the edge, but their bodies are tired and worn, and soon, it’s a race to the finish line.
Emma comes in first, not that it matters.
(But it does feel good to beat him.)
(They’re both competitive asses.)
(Even when they shouldn’t be.)
After, they’re both slick with sweat that doesn’t go away as their bodies press together on the small twin bed. Emma almost wishes she had rented a house outside the village like David and some of the other coaches did, but she doesn’t want to give up the experience. And it’s fine, especially as Killian shifts behind her and lets her settle into him, her hips pressing back into his as his arm wraps around to rest on her stomach, fingers occasionally searching out for her breast.
Emma is exhausted, but this is the best she’s felt in weeks.
(She definitely couldn’t walk to any of the events now, and she did want to see Phelps swim.)
“You played bloody fantastic in your doubles match today.”
“Not my singles?”
“I played at the same time as you. I didn’t get a chance to watch.”
Emma hums and leans further back into him. She’s glad Killian did most of the work because just thinking about how much she’s got to move again tomorrow is making her sore. “I played well there too. Straight sets.”
“Atta girl.” His lips press into her neck, stubble scratching across the skin. “I’ve been thinking…”
“Oh, that’s always dangerous.”
Killian laughs but nudges his knee into her, which really only settles his cock between her ass, but she’s too tired to think of doing anything else. “I’ve been thinking,” he continues, “that I’m going to withdraw from Cincinnati and fly home instead.”
“To London?”
“To Palm Beach. I think it might be nice to have a calm week between tournaments to spend time with my girlfriend.”
“Oh really? You’ll have to tell her your plan. I’m sure she’d like that.”
Killian tickles her stomach, making her squirm, before he lightly pinches her side. “Mhm. I thought we might also like to spend time with our daughter since FaceTime isn’t cutting it for me anymore. I swear she’s grown three feet since I last saw her.”
“Four, I think. She’s basically a full-grown adult now with all that walking and talking she’s doing.”
“Has she said any new words I’m not aware of?”
“Nope. She still can only say the three.”
“Good. I’m glad I didn’t miss anything else.” Killian kisses the side of Emma’s neck again, and she twists around, wrapping her arms around him and pressing their noses together as she stares into blue, blue eyes that aren’t diminished by the darkened room. “I think we should bring her to New York with us. Hopefully at least one of us will be there for three weeks, and that’s just too long to go without her.”
“We’re staying in a hotel in New York. In two separate suites, I might add.”
“But we don’t have to.”
“Killian…”
His hand brushes down her side, warmth permeating from the rough fingertips, before it rests on her hip, thumb moving in soothing circles. “I’ve already called and seen if they could give me the Penthouse. It’s an entire floor with private entrances and a private elevator. Our teams can stay with us or they can stay in the original suites we were designated. I know you bring her with you when you can and that I sneak in visits, but I want to be able to stay with my daughter.”
This isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation, and if she doesn’t say yes to it, it won’t be the last.
Things between she and Killian are complicated. They’re relationship isn’t, not anymore. At first, she couldn’t stand him, thought he was genuinely this cocky asshole from the way he talked in matches and in off-court interviews, like he was God’s gift to the sport or something. Then they ended up both winning in Australia four years ago, and while doing press together, she saw a different, kinder side to him that she hadn’t previously seen when they worked together in Nike promotions.
Fast forward through a lot of early morning calls, late night rendezvous in their hotel rooms, and a heck of a lot of texts and FaceTime sessions, and somewhere along the way, the impenetrable Emma Swan fell in love with the impossible Killian Jones.
They kept it secret, the both of them knowing how vicious the media is to athletes that date each other, especially since Killian was going through a wrist injury that was somehow his fault according to the pundits and that he was getting hounded pretty hard at the time. They didn’t know if it was going to work, neither of them having stellar relationship records, but they figured eventually they would be okay with the world knowing.
Then came the positive pregnancy test, and Emma’s entire world shifted.
She was at the top of her game, at the top of her world, and as hard as it is for her to admit now, she didn’t want Olivia. She wanted to keep living her life the way it was. That was a possibility but not one she was willing to take, so she stopped playing but kept training as she and Killian figured out how they were going to do this.
They’re never home, rarely together, and they were both way out of their leagues. It would have been easier to tell the world they were together, that Killian was the father, but Olivia’s protection is worth more than their ease.
Now, though, looking at the crease between Killian’s brow and the sadness pooled in his eyes, she wonders if they’re doing the right thing.
“I know. I’m sorry. I – ” Emma’s lips quiver, and she nearly cries. She’s exhausted beyond belief and doesn’t know what to do, so she buries her face in Killian’s neck and wraps her arms around him. “Can we talk about this on the plane ride home?”
Emma says home as if they’re going to the same place after this. They’re not. But maybe she should listen to Killian and take the break she’s been craving.
“Aye, love, if that’s what you want.”
She nods and feels his lips ghost over the crown of her hair. “I want to lay here with you and not think about tennis or make hard decisions.”
“You want to talk about how bloody uncomfortable this bed is?”
Emma laughs. “It really makes you miss those awful ones in Paris.”
“You had to ask for a new one.”
“It was so worth it.”
-/-
They FaceTime Olivia in the morning. Mary Margaret has her in a matching outfit to Emma’s uniform, and Killian scoffs that she’s representing America instead of Great Britain.
Emma thinks it’s the best thing in the world, and it reminds her who she’s playing for.
It’s not for her country, not for herself. It’s for her daughter.
Their daughter.
-/-
The next two days drag by and yet she has a difficult time keeping up with them. Her practices are long, recovery longer as her shoulders are massaged and legs are iced, and Ruby has to drag her out onto the court for doubles when all she wants to do is sleep. She’s not used to playing this many matches in such a short period of time, and while having Ruby on court with her helps lessen how much she runs, her legs are still aching.
She’s almost to the finish line. She can make it.
“Those legs are too pretty for you to be dragging them like that,” Ruby jokes as they sit down during a changeover in the third set of their quarterfinal match. Emma reaches for her energy drink and takes a sip before biting into a banana while Ruby shakes her legs.
“I can’t make them move.”
“Yes, you can,” Ruby insists. “You already won your singles today, and we’re four games away from winning this match. I will kick your ass if we don’t win this.”
“Can you kick my ass if it’s already kicked?”
“I can indeed.” Ruby pats Emma’s knees and smiles. “Come on, hot mama. We’ve got this.”
And it’s tough, but they do.
Emma and Ruby go through recovery, and when Emma checks her watch, she sees that Killian’s match is just about to start.
“Do you want to get a bus across the grounds and go watch swimming?” Ruby asks her as David massages her calf. It’s not his job, so he obviously can’t stop complaining about doing it.
“I think I want to watch Killian’s match. Can we get seats in the stadium? Is his box empty?”
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” David asks her as her muscle spasms.
“If we all go, it won’t be suspicious. He’s playing Sam, so they might think we’re supporting the Americans.”
“Aren’t we?”
Her eyes roll. “Not in this situation. Come on. Text Rob and see if we can get into Killian’s box.”
David levels her with a stare, and she knows he’s going to say no, that it’s a bad idea. But then he releases her leg and pulls his phone out of his pocket.
They end up going still dressed in their match clothes, and Emma puts on a sweatshirt, a cap, and sunglasses to hide herself as much as possible. She knows it won’t work considering she’s literally wearing the outfit she has worn all week, but she can at least try. It’s been years since she’s gotten to watch one of Killian’s matches from somewhere other than the locker room or her hotel room, and she’s missed the magic of watching him play. He’s fluid with his motions, even if they are slower than they used to be, and his groundstrokes are powerful from the baseline. She knows from the moment that she sits down that he’s winning this match. She can tell by the way he’s carrying himself and the determination in his eyes. She grabs her phone and snaps a picture just as he looks her way, brow raised in question but a smile on his lips.
-/-
Killian wins his match, and she finds him in the tunnel afterward, his team creating a wall around them, and wraps her arms around him, not caring that they are both disgustingly sweaty or around other people.
“I love you,” she whispers.
“And I you.” The corner of his lips brush against her temple. “You’re amazing, Emma. Bloody amazing.”
“You too, my love.”
-/-
Emma wins the semifinals of both of her matches.
Killian wins his.
They’re both playing in gold medal matches – Emma definitely brags about how she’s playing two while Killian is only playing one – and she wants to vomit.
Holy shit.
-/-
“Say hi to your mommy,” Mary Margaret tells Olivia as Olivia keeps smacking her hand on the screen. “Your mom and dad are there trying to talk to you, Livvie.”
Emma leans her head onto Killian’s shoulder as they both stare into the screen waiting for Olivia to move her hand. She does with some help from Mary Margaret, and then bright green eyes show up. She has Emma’s eyes and dirty blonde hair that’s thick and wavy, but everything else about her screams Killian, especially her smile. Emma has missed that smile.
“Hello, little love.” Killian waves and tries to get her attention, but she couldn’t care less. “Don’t you want to talk to us?”
She makes a noise that isn’t a word, and Mary Margaret sighs. “I’m sorry. She’s been asking about you two, but now that you’re there, she doesn’t care. I tried to tell her what a big deal the two of you were, but she doesn’t care.”
“I’ll have to tell her how incredible her mother is later. She’s going to be the first women to win two singles golds in a row as well as the first mum to do it. And she’s going to have two more medals than me. Showing me up in every category.”
“That’s assuming you win, Jones. I could have three more gold medals than you.”
“I do love a challenge.”
Olivia starts giggling, Emma’s favorite noise on the planet, and she tries to memorize it to keep with her always. She knows Killian does too.
-/-
Emma’s gold medal matches are the day before Killian’s, and she’s jealous he gets a day off to rest. He tells her he’s going to spend the entire time training, sneaking in and out of other events, and watching her matches. She rolls her eyes at his texts because she’s sure he won’t have time to do all of that.
And yet he does.
She sees him in the stands during her doubles match. Ruby points him out when they’re in the middle of discussing serving spots, and Emma laughs at her calling him “lover boy” in a horrible British accent. She always calls him a ridiculous name, and of the few people who know of Emma’s private life, she’s glad Ruby is one of them.
Even if she’s still laughing and double faults on an important point.
It doesn’t matter, though, because within an hour and fifteen minutes, their shortest match of the tournament, she’s on the court’s floor with Ruby sobbing because they won a fucking gold medal.
She gets so little time to savor it, however, because the medal ceremony happens so quickly that she can barely take It all in. She also has press to do, and David has to practically force her into the media room where she and Ruby are hounded with more questions than congratulation as they clutch onto their medals. Ruby handles it like the pro she is while Emma’s nerves start to get the best of her as more people start talking about what she has on the line.
To be the first man or woman to win two gold singles medals in consecutive Olympics.
To win another gold medal for her country.
To be the first mother since Clijsters to win a major tournament.
To win her first big tournament since her comeback.
To have the possibility to win another gold medal in Tokyo in four years if she’s still playing.
It’s a lot, and she knows it. She’s been thinking about all of it every day this week, and her track record of choking in finals lately is pushing at the forefront of her mind.
She doesn’t know if she can do it.
And yet she does.
She laces up her sneakers, pulls her hair back, and takes a deep breath as she blocks everything out of her mind except for her game plan. She knows how the game is played. She’s been playing since she was twelve years old, and even though that’s a late start compared to most people, it’s gotten her here.
Emma walks out of the tunnel as her name is announced over the speakers, and even though all she can hear is the cheer of the crowd, she lets her mind go back to Olivia’s laugh, Killian’s smile, David’s pep talk, Ruby’s ridiculous texts. She thinks of all the things that push her when she wants to stop, and she reminds herself that no matter what happens, she’s done her best.
She could have given up the moment the stick said “pregnant.” She could have packed it all in, but she didn’t. She’s here, and she’s better than any excuse she could come up with not to be.
People have tried to tell her who she is her entire life, but she’s pushed back and said, “no, this is who I am.” Emma still has to do that now, no matter how many times she has proven herself.
The ice bath in Montreal where she wanted to quit seems years away when it was only eight days.
-/-
Emma looks to Ruby then David then Killian as she takes a deep breath on match point. Killian smiles and gives her a subtle nod, and then she raises the ball in the air, ready to toss it.
-/-
Game. Set. Gold freaking medal.
-/-
Afterward, she falls to the ground, her knees aching as they hit the asphalt, and her body can’t stop shaking with her sobs. She doesn’t know what she feels or how she feels or even where she is, and she only gets up from the ground when she hears her family calling for her. She slowly rises from the ground, runs across the court to congratulate her opponent on playing a good match, and then she’s running to the stands and climbing up with David’s help. She embraces him first. She wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him. he’s been her rock for her entire life, and he keeps her steady. Then it’s her physio and her agent and Ruby. Then, over to the side, is Killian, and their conversation from a few nights ago comes back to her.
She loves him. She’s proud to be with him. They shouldn’t have to hide their family anymore.
They haven’t exactly been doing a good job of it this week anyway.
So Emma very literally pounces on him, her legs wrapping around his waist, before she remembers that he has a match tomorrow. She can’t miss his back up. He’d never let it go if she did. Her feet fall to the ground, but her arms stay wrapped around Killian’s neck as he whispers words of encouragement and congratulations that she’s always going to keep close to her heart, right next to the necklace with the initials O-S-J on them.
Two people thousands of miles apart were brought together by chances, a whole myriad of them. If Ruth hadn’t adopted Emma and David, they never would have picked up a racket. If Emma had never picked up a racket, she wouldn’t have found her purpose in this world. She wouldn’t have a job or a daughter or a man who loves her in spite of how hard she is to love. There was so much that could have derailed her, both good and bad, and while she could say none of it matters, in some way, it all does.
Because it led her here.
And she doesn’t want to be anywhere else even if she would give anything to be able to hug Olivia right now.
“You did so good, Swan,” Killian whispers, his voice the only one she hears.
“I know.”
He pulls back, and there are tears in his eyes that mirror her own. “So, I guess I have to win tomorrow so your bragging rights don’t get too big.”
“Oh, Jones, you are never catching up with me now,” she teases, all of the exhaustion melting away. “I’m miles ahead of you, but you better win. Olivia doesn’t need to be embarrassed by her dad.”
“Pretty sure that’s my job.”
“Right now, your only job is to help me back down onto the court and then go win yourself a gold medal.”
“Don’t tell the presses you’re rooting for a Brit.”
Emma shrugs as Killian thumbs away tears underneath her eyes. “I don’t care anymore, and I’m definitely going to be sitting in your box tomorrow, cheering louder than anyone else.”
-/-
When Killian wins the next night after a torturous four hours, his fall is almost identical to Emma’s. Though, when he climbs into the stands to get to the box, he immediately goes for Emma, cupping her cheeks and kissing her for the entire world to see.
“I guess I’ll have to figure out a way to embarrass our daughter in another way.”
“I think her parents making out on international TV might do just that.”
-/-
Two days after they get home – they spent the entire first day sleeping and holding Olivia – Emma puts on her three gold medals, Killian puts on his one, and they hold Olivia in between them, her toothy smile brighter than the gold as the photo is taken.
Olivia Swan-Jones has a pretty cool mom and a dad who has some catching up to do in the gold medal department.
It’s Emma’s most liked picture on Instagram, not that she cares about any of those things, and it’s the biggest news story for three days straight despite the literal Olympics still happening.
All Emma cares about, though, is that she has a week off – she opted out of Cincinnati after all, despite David’s protests – she can spend with her family before she and Killian are off to New York where the pressure will be the highest it’s ever been and the media will most likely be losing their shit over Emma and Killian’s announcements.
Olivia will be with her, Killian too, and in the end, that’s all that matters.
Oh, that, and the fact that Emma Swan is officially back, and it feels damn good.
-/-
-/-
Thanks for reading, my friends! Can’t wait for those 2021 Olympics 🤞and learning about sports I’ve still somehow never heard of. And if you want to talk to me about tennis, I’m fully here to talk about Rafael Nadal’s biceps and how his game is underrated despite being one of the most dominant athletes of all time 💚😂
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astrolornb · 3 years
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hbd to Hayao Miyazaki! (Capricorn sun/Aries moon)
Iconic animator, director, and screenwriter Hayao Miyazaki (b. January 5, 1941) turned 80 years old on January 5, 2021.
Miyazaki is the co-founder of Studio Ghibli and acclaimed for his whimsical and fantastical animated feature-length films. He is known for writing stories with environmental and social messages, which often centre independent girls as protagonists.
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His first breakthrough directorial film, Nausicäa of the Valley of The Wind (1984) follows a young princess who fights to defend her home community from war and environmental devastation in a post-apocalyptic world. Miyazaki adapted this screenplay based on a manga he wrote.
To be frank, I find I can’t really watch this film anymore (after having watched it maybe 3 or 4 times?), with the amount of war and fighting in it (the accompanying music is also kinda intense). However, this was once my favourite film by Miyazaki and I still recommend watching if you haven’t already seen it.
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Today, Spirited Away (2001) and Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989) remain some of my favourite films.
In Spirited Away, a ten-year old girl named Chihiro must save her parents from the spirit world by overcoming obstacles in a bathhouse full of spirits and outsmarting a powerful witch. I think this film both fascinated and slightly scared me as a kid, but I’ve grown to love it more as an adult. This description truly doesn’t quite do the film justice as the cast of unique characters each add a different twist to Chihiro’s journey towards bravery.
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In Kiki’s Delivery Service, a young girl must leave home to train as a witch as per the traditions of her village. However, she starts to lose her powers when on her own and must regain them in order to survive. Kiki was truly an angsty teen of her time. As an entrepreneur, she basically delivered bread UberEats-style on her broom, to boot!
How many other teenage witches can you name who fly across the sea while listening to the radio? I once dressed up as Kiki for Halloween.
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The above mentioned films were all written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki.
When I found out Miyazaki’s birthday, it came as no surprise that he was born as a Capricorn. I say this in reference to watching the NHK docu-series “10 Years with Hayao Miyazaki,” which highlights his obsessive and regimented work schedule and habits, reeking of Capricorn stereotypes.
“Placing value on the act of working hard is an incredible mistake…Working hard, it’s just something you do. If you don’t, nothing worthwhile will come about.” - Hayao Miyazaki (source)
Capricorns are Earth signs who are passionate and driven, above all else.
I don’t know about you, but in my life, Capricorns are always grinding (staying on top of everything!). These include successful artists and freelancers who are committed to their practice and communities (often while working multiple jobs), pushing through law/grad school during a pandemic, and dedicated to showing up and caring for their friends and family.
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Tweets by astrologer Danielle Ayoka (@mysticxlipstick)
Maybe this devout sense of purpose and passion is what makes them come off as so wise beyond their years.
Capricorns are the epitomy of old souls. Their practicality makes them seem like a grandparent, regardless of their actual age.
“I’m so excited!” Miyazaki smiles with grandpa joy as he releases the tape from the video camera that he installed in his car to record as he drives. A little strange, perhaps, yet in the first part of the docu-series, it truly offers a pragmatic glimpse into his approach to work. (In this case, the study of daily motion.)
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Screencapture from 10 Years with Hayao Miyazaki by NHK
Of an emotional nature, another Capricorn stereotype is that they come off as cool and distant. In the same docu-series, viewers later witness Miyazaki walk out of the middle of his son’s film premiere. Ouch.
For Miyazaki, quality of work > everything else.
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Tweet by karen han (@karenyhan)
In the documentary film the Kingdom of Dreams and Madness (2013), viewers watch Miyazaki going off on a team of animators, even making some cry after giving his feedback.
Capricorns set high standards. More so for themselves than for others though. However, beyond his Capricorn sun, Miyazaki has an Aries moon. The moon represents a significant emotional aspect of our inner selves.
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What does this mean? According to the AstroTwins,
Aries is ruled by Mars, the planet of aggression and war, which can make you temperamental and straight-up combative. With your fiery emotions, you get frustrated easily, blowing up at the slightest provocations. Although your temper tantrums pass quickly, you don’t always realize how much havoc your rage spells can wreak. The fallout could take years to live down, if the bridge isn’t permanently burned.
...
Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and this moon sign makes you an initiator who likes to be number one. A warrior at heart, you’ll courageously champion any cause, project or person you believe in. You have a star quality, but your competitive streak can be fierce! 
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Hayao Miyazaki’s birth chart (via astro-charts.com)
This combination of steadfast hard work (Capricorn sun/Earth sign) and fierce independence (Aries moon/Fire sign) likely contributes much to how Miyazaki has attained his status as such an accomplished filmmaker and artist.
While this blog post is a tribute to the great Miyazaki, it is also an acknowledgement that he is an imperfect person, as we all are. Humans are complex creatures. Like so many of us, he is someone who has caused hurt and someone who has experienced significant loss. And, at the same time, he is someone who has created so much beauty, too.
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Screenshot from The Kingdom of Dreams and Madness (2013)
To many fans disappointment, Miyazaki retired from filmmaking after The Wind Rises (2013). However, in true Capricorn style, he has returned to work and emerged from retirement to direct a new film titled How Do You Live? which he intends to dedicate to his grandson.
With this forthcoming film, the Studio Ghibli animators have been tasked to draw more frames by hand than ever before. In the slow and steady Earth-sign-led process, they are producing a single minute of animation per month with a team of 60 people.
Studio Ghibli producer and general manager Toshio Suzuki says, “That means 12 months a year, you get 12 minutes worth of movie. Actually, we’ve been working on this film for three years, so that means we have 36 minutes completed so far. We’re hoping it will finish in the next three years.” Wow.
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In Japan, an 80th birthday is referred to as the “umbrella celebration” (sanju 傘寿) in reference to the shape of the characters. The abbreviation of the character for “umbrella” (傘) can be read as “80″ by overlapping numbers 8 (八) and 10 (十).
Astrology writer Gala Mukamalova, once wrote about the power we give years. In an astrological love letter, she offered this to our hardworking, stubborn goat friends:
“But you, Capricorn, you who are still here, still wind howling through trees, still a leaf clinging to this life—forgiveness is something you can learn. How to give it, yes, but mostly how to receive it.”
Despite how much I enjoy projecting onto famous people based on their birth charts, I don’t truly know all that haunts Miyazaki or drives him to create as an artist, a son, a father, and a survivor of war.
Yet still, I hope this year may allow Miyazaki and his Capricorn sun to pursue forgiveness of self, whatever that may look like. I have no doubt that he will continue to find success with his work to come. Hopefully his Aries moon can tread lighter and enable him to act more kindly towards his studio team, too. After all, it is 2021.
Happy 80th birthday, Hayao Miyazaki. ☂️
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thedetectivessay · 3 years
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Highlights from the Fan Meeting
(took longer than planned. sorry..)
So, there were definitely A LOT of people watching during the event. At one point, it reached 26k viewers - but it could have been higher than that. They were also broadcasting through VLive so there were more. 
There was an earlier interview thing that was reposted later on on Instagram. I’m not sure if that was something exclusive to SK viewers or if it really was just a private interview (saw a news outlet’s watermark somewhere; Yonhap News’, I think). 
Either way, in that interview, Cho PD participated. He wasn’t there for the international fan meet, though.
Anyway, here are the highlights in a (mostly) chronological order:
• During the opening, the cast were introduced. Jaesuk or the MC did mention straight off the bat that this will be the final season. 
• Sejeong roasted Kwangsoo because of his hair 😂 It’s currently very long because he and Sehun had been filming for Pirates 2; Sehun’s hair was long-ish as well. But yeah - he got the most teasing because his hair is as long as Sejeong’s now lol
•  Okay, I gotta mention this: Jongmin was DRESSED TO THE T. He looked so nice, but it was so cute! He was just so determined to impress the international fans present. It just showed how much he cared about us and about how we felt about him. 
So yes: if you haven’t yet, give Jongmin some love. 
He was also asked at one point who he felt the closest to among the cast members, and y’all - he hesitated 😭😭 It was obvious he wanted to say he felt the closest to Sejeong, but he got scared because he thought the fans who were there might get mad at him 😭
But Sejeong, being the sweetheart that she is, kept encouraging him to pick her anyway by throwing hearts at him 🥰
Y’all, what are we gonna do once this show is over? This brOTP is the best when it came to roasting people! And they act like fr siblings 😭😭
• On the same question, after Jongmin did pick Sejeong, Kwangsoo made a remark, saying that he thought Jongmin was going to choose him. He looked hurt 😂
Side note: are we finally getting more Jongmin and Kwangsoo scenes this season?? 😃
• Not that long after, they played a game. Three of the cast members were chosen prior to the meet to draw a picture summarizing an episode. The rest had to guess where it was from. 
Kwangsoo was the first to go, and his clue - drawn nicely - pointed to S1EP5, The Last Vampire. Jaesuk was the first one to solve it, mentioning that it was the episode Park Hae-jin was in.
Seunggi was next, and it took the cast a while to figure out which episode it is. Can’t remember who solved it or if Seunggi just gave them the answer, but it was depicting one of the final scenes in S2EP10, The Flower of Death. It was that part where they were in Flower Killer’s hideout, when he finally told them who he really was while standing over Minjae. 
Kwangsoo afterwards said he was surprised by how terrible(?) Seunggi’s drawing skills were. Seunggi just laughed. 
Sejeong was next. She drew the detective team (beautifully, btw), and underneath the picture were the words versus + seven silhouettes with question marks on their faces. 
Kwangsoo praised Sejeong for her great drawing skills, and the cast agreed. 
The cast eventually figured out which episode, but they were hesitant to really speak of it.
It was then revealed that it’s an episode/case where the detective team faces off with a copycat team. We will see this and find out who the copycat seven are in S3. 
• Afterwards, they did this thing where a roulette chooses one of the members, the MC reads the messages written to them by fellow cast members, and they guess who they think it’s from. 
I’ll probably make another post later for this if you guys want since I can’t remember everything that was said, but basically...
> Jaesuk received messages from Sehun and Seunggi. Can’t remember what Seunggi said, but Sehun pretty much just thanked Jaesuk for teaching him 10% of what he needed to know about variety (he said the other 90% he learned himself lol) 
> Seunggi received messages from Sehun and Minyoung.
> Kwangsoo received messages from Jaesuk and Sejeong. Jaesuk said in his message that he highly valued him and Jongmin - and he asked them to stay with him forever (😭)
Meanwhile, Sejeong said that she’s thankful and sorry to Kwangsoo. When asked what she was sorry about, she said it was because she knew there were moments when it needed to be funny, and Kwangsoo would make a fool of himself to make that happen. 
(Side note: she interacted a lot with Kwangsoo this fan meet, too, so I have hope that I will also get the Kwangsoo and Sejeong brOTP scenes I’ve been asking for 🙌🏼)
> Minyoung received messages from Jaesuk and Jongmin.
> Jongmin received messages from Kwangsoo and Sejeong (my other brOT3 😭❤️)
> Sehun received messages from Jongmin and Minyoung. Jongmin said in his message that he was sorry to Sehun because he didn’t (couldn’t?) take care of him better. 
> Sejeong received messages from Jaesuk and Minyoung. Minyoung asked somewhere in her message for them to have a drink together some time, while Jaesuk asked Sejeong if she could help Kwangsoo land a role in her current drama 😂
Kwangsoo then revealed that Jaesuk always does that: whenever he meets with his friends and other celebrities, he always asks them to cast Kwangsoo in their drama or movie. The cast laughed. 
Seunggi then mentioned afterwards that he’s currently working on a new drama or movie (not sure which one), and he offered Kwangsoo the role of a mouse lol
• That was then followed by the Thank You messages from the fans. Some of you may be aware of this, but about a week and a half ago, on IG, the Busted Netflix official account asked fans to submit a 10 second video of themselves saying “Thank you, Team Busted!” in their native language. 
It was so cute, you guys! It just showed how much the cast and crew were loved by many all over the world. 
Although: there was one fan from Sweden or Norway who had a whole PROJECT D MARK HANGING ON HIS WALL. THE SAME ONE HANGING OUTSIDE THE MAZE IN C’S LAIR IN THE SERIES PREMIERE.
Where did he get that?? I want one, I’m so jealous!! ☹️
•  The fan meeting closed with messages from the cast. Most of them seemed so tired at this point, but Jaesuk proved to be the best leader the cast/team could ask for even in the end. 
I mentioned this on the first update, but he said he felt sad that the series was coming to an end especially since the cast had such great chemistry. It was heartwarming to hear because it personally gave me a sense of closure. 
To hear a cast member address the feelings a number of us feel is comforting, you know?
• The fan meet ended with bouquets of flowers (non-threatening kind 😏😉) and gift bags for the cast! They were all so pleasantly surprised, and it was so cute. 
Netflix seemed to be aware that the awards season just finished in SK, so they gave each of the members their own trophies bearing personalized awards! It was a weighty trophy, too; the cast commented on it.
I don’t know what the other members received, but Sejeong, I think, got the Bright Future Award. 
Myuk PD later posted on his IG pictures of this big gift bag that Netflix apparently gave him and the other PDs. One of the gifts they received contained a pair of wine glasses with an electric bottle opener in the middle. It was so classy and nice.
Bro - no one can say that Netflix didn’t love the detective team and the creators of the show. They threw all kind of love and attention on them, and they didn’t skimp on the gifts and ads either. 
There are other points from that earlier interview I was talking about, but I’ll put that on a separate post if you’re interested :) 
Detective Fam! There’s literally only two days before the final season drops! For those of you who live on the Eastern hemisphere, it’s just one day and some change! 
Season 3!! Are you guys excited??!
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