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meyousing · 1 year

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𝒞𝒽𝓇𝑜𝓁𝓁𝑜, 𝒮𝑜 𝒫𝓇𝑒𝒸𝒾𝑜𝓊𝓈

𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓈𝓉: chrollo with a super obedient reader that just complies to whatever he says and frequently asks him if she can do stuff no matter how many times she's told no

𝓈𝓎𝓃𝑜𝓅𝓈𝒾𝓈: despite your undying loyalty to chrollo, something inside of you persistently wonders if your love truly is mutual, and how he sees you. his answer is unexpected, and leaves you questioning your decisions thus far.

𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈: yandere chrollo, sfw, manipulation/gaslighting. part two here!

“What if we got a puppy?” your feet swayed beneath the kitchen island, chin resting upon your interlocked fingers which soon moved to hold your head up by the jaw instead.

You couldn’t see Chrollo’s visible reaction to this inquiry, his back was turned as he had been brewing the both of you an evening tea. You liked to watch him carry out such mundane tasks, it felt so domestic. As if you two were a normal couple; as if you were a tired wife who just returned home from her irksome job, with your loving househusband catering to your needs so he could help you relax after such a long day. This, instead of an essential cult leader and the woman he saved. But you didn’t see it that way. Chrollo’s power made you view him as your protector, who knew what was best for you and ensured that every decision he made for you was ultimately beneficial.

He chuckled softly, looking to the side, his charming profile in your sights as he spoke.

“You know we can’t do that, my beloved.”

You watched him turn his back to you once more, an arm raising as he poured your drinks into the cute, matching “Mr. & Mrs.” mugs that you asked him to buy you as a birthday gift last year. (He questioned if there were any particular reasons why you wanted these mugs, given the officiality of the titles they displayed. You told him that if that was what he desired, then yes).

You did know that you couldn’t do that; get a puppy. Because it was Chrollo who said you couldn’t do that, the same Chrollo who knew what was best for you, after all. You agreed with him. You trusted him. But it couldn’t hurt to have asked. Maybe you’d try again in a few days or weeks.

You’d like to have another companion at your side for when Chrollo was out on long days with his troupe, with you being unable to join him for obvious reasons, always leaving you alone for so much time. If he said yes, you would have something more to occupy your daytime, too. Reading could only provide entertainment for so long before plots became repetitive or too easy to understand, and while you appreciated his thoughtfulness when he bought you a laptop that couldn’t connect to the internet but still provide you with digital papers to write your own stories on; something tangible and alive like a pet would make your life so much more… lively, so much more fun. But you were unwilling to argue with him, who always had your best interests at heart. Chrollo had never steered you wrong before, it would make no sense for him to start now.

He was at your side rather quickly, breaking you out of your thoughts by placing your cup down in front of you and sitting at your side with his cup in his fist. You smiled in thanks, placing your hands around the mug to warm your fingers and let the drink cool off before sipping.

“Would a plush suffice?” you heard him ask, peeking up to watch as he took a quiet swig of his tea.

It really wouldn’t. This was said from the bottom of your heart, the very truth. But you told that voice to be quiet, that a plush would absolutely be enough. Chrollo may have been asking you this, though he may as well have just said “a plush will suffice.”

“Of course” you leaned into him, puckering your lips to peck his cheek. His hand swiftly caught you by the jaw and pulled you in for a real kiss, your lips meeting his sweetness with some warmth from the remnants of his pekoe. His thumb brushed over your cheek as you parted.

“Such a precious thing, you are.”

Is it my obedience that makes him think this? You would continue to be that way if it were the case. But Chrollo was a bit of an enigma, you could never really know. He let you know as much as he wanted you to know, and who were you to ask for more? Once again you hushed that internal voice, you are precious indeed. Chrollo thinks so, so you are. That’s all there is to it.

You melted as he wrapped an arm over your shoulders, bringing you closer into his embrace. Your temple rested against his chest, the gentle thrum of his heartbeat lulling you into a tranquil state. A tranquil, vulnerable, impulsive state.

“What would you do if I never listened to you?” you couldn’t stop the words before they left your mouth.

A beat of silence.

You felt him hum.

His hand on your tricep squeezed.

“Well…” he laughed. “What use would you be to me then?”

Ouch. You moved to detach from him, to make eye contact and wonder if what he just said was meant genuinely, to see if his eyes were as honest as his words. His grip on your arm was unrelenting, you squirmed for a moment before coming to your senses; you weren’t going anywhere.

“What do you mean?” your voice was timid. You knew that you couldn’t accept the truth, that your compliance to his every word was the reason why your life here was so simple, so problem free. What started as an impulsive question that you couldn’t control was now a thought beginning to plague you. What would he do if you didn’t act this way? What if you fought back or if you resisted his commands and advances?

You were complicit because you loved him. It was a hard pill to swallow, to come to terms with the fact that the version of Chrollo that you were bound with now was not the same Chrollo you fell in love with. In spite of that, there was a part of you that loved him still, even who he was now; the ugly truth of him.

But if you weren’t this way, if you weren’t obedient and allowed him to control your every decision, then… you would just have no purpose in his life? You could see past his flaws, but he couldn’t see past yours?

“You know exactly what I mean, Y/N.”

Of course, you did. Because it was Chrollo who said you knew that, the same Chrollo who knew what was best for you, after all.

He held you impossibly closer, both of his arms caging you into his chest as you brought your fists beneath your chin, pressing into him and allowing his warmth to consume you. How much truth did his words bear, if he held you this way? His clench on your arm had long softened, that same hand now rubbing up and down in a very soothing way, a way that had you sighing in contentment.

Maybe you could play this part for a little longer if it meant being touched with such fragility as if you were a precious artifact of the utmost value. That wasn’t too far off from the truth, was it? You are precious, remember? Chrollo said so.

You could only play a part for so long, though. It felt wrong to envision, but delight filled you at the image of Chrollo’s potential reaction to a sudden outburst or blatant disagreement on your part. Would he let you off with a warning, or do something grandeur? No matter how far away, you could not wait for that day to come.

#✧meyou #✧musinghxhmasterlist #chrollo #yandere chrollo #chrollo x reader #chrollo lucilfer x reader #chrollo lucilfer #phantom troupe #hxh #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter #hxh chrollo #hunter x hunter x reader #chrollo x y/n #chrollo x you

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cakeboxie · 2 months

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I had to restart his save since it got corrupted- which means it’s time for a new ref!!

I’ve committed to the fact that this man dresses like an 80s dad in any modern au.

Tries very hard to read as the ideal paladin, good morals, strong sense of justice n what have you. He is unfortunately full of trauma and identity issues, fear of his god is a HUGE THING and breaking his oath accidentally is a perpetual anxiety too.

I’ve also decided he has the shittiest, patchy ass beard. Usually he’s clean shaven bc he doesn’t like having facial hair but he’s not quite adept enough with a dagger to shave with one and tries exactly once to shave (failing miserably, much to Astarion’s entertainment) before giving up until act 3 when he buys himself a new razor.

I really should draw him holding the blood of lathander more but that mf is agonizing to draw man there are, so many layers to it.

I finally remembered to draw his glasses on his ref, yippee.

I’m making him an actual dnd character sheet so I’ll probably attach that once it’s done

I’m side tracked I’m supposed to be talking about his lore huh

Whoops

Anyway, tw for abandoment (passing mention) emotional abuse, death (of a parent + en masse,) mental illness that’s being ignored, chronic pain and illness (also being ignored until he can’t)

His actual like- lore lore is below the break.

Born in the underdark, his mom fucked off with him bc the underdark isn’t a great place to live generally speaking, and she had the means. His dad decided last minute to stay in the underdark.

Taken in by the temple of lathander in elturel bc his mother was chronically ill and not expecting or able to be making this kind of journey on her own with a very small child. Ended up being moved from the temple to a hospital after it was determined that she probably wasn’t getting better.

Charlie ended up being mostly raised by the temple, went to school there and was taught how to read and write + basic math. But spent most of his free time working to pay for his mother’s (and soon his own) medication.

Turns out the of the myriad of issues his mother delt with (migraines, persistent nausea and dizziness, chronic joint issues) were genetic, so by time he hit puberty he was working his ass off to pay for it.

You may ask me “cake, didn’t that aggravate his joint issues?” Yes. Badly. He was not given any other options, the fact that they were alive at all was a godsend (I use the word godsend intentionally, he believes, strongly, that lathander is keeping him alive for some reason beyond his understanding, that is the root of his devotion.)

Did you order mommy issues? Hope so bc he has them in spades. You can only be hear your dying mom say she regrets saving you life as a literal toddler so many times before it starts fucking you up, and she said it (and other delightful(/sarc) things) plenty in the months leading up to when she died.

Shortly after her death, and suddenly needing to work way less (his medication was significantly cheaper than his mothers) he devoted himself to the temple, and was eventually approached bc some kids he went to school with to see if he wanted to join their little class thing. The temple liked to train their folks in groups of 4, in hopes of building strong teams should they choose to stay together.

He agreed, and found out that the temple would pay for his medication in exchange for dedicating himself fully to his training and his studies (and occasionally them using him as a scout, being small, naturally stealthy, and decently quick had its advantages.)

Took his oath with one of the other people he was trained alongside when he was 17, and they were collectively sent to continue their training at the nearby Fort Morninglord.

Things were solid, until he was sent along with a group of seniors to Baldurs Gate as a sort of test to see how he would do on a longer mission before officially joining the Order of the Aster.

He did well, all things considered. Unfortunately between him leaving and returning is when Fort Morninglord got eaten by the shadowfell for some reason. (That’s a canon event btw)

So, with all his friends presumably dead, maybe worse, and all his shit left inside a heavily guarded, very cursed fort. He did the reasonable thing, and fucked right off.

He ended up joining one of the seniors he went to Baldur’s Gate with in going to Waterdeep, while they didn’t particularly need another paladin. The temple of lathander in Waterdeep accepted them both until they were able to find stable employment.

Charlie mainly did small jobs for merchants, working as a guard for high value stuff, moving cargo on/off boats, mostly physical labour. It didn’t pay particularly well, but he could afford a little room above a tavern, and his medication.

That’s where he was, and how he lived for almost 130 years until he got wormed.

May or may not be blindly devoted to Lathander bc of… all that. literally any bad thing to occur to him is swiftly written off as a test of his faith, surprising to damn near everyone he is not one for converting people. (He definitely reads like he would though, it’s the theology special interest, there are few gods he won’t speak extensively on. He just defaults to lathander)

Fr though? Having trouble finding a god to worship? Ask him, he will give you an answer or more accurately- a list.

Yknow when you sprinkle random facts into your characters to make them less flat? Yeah my man collects maps, particularly outdated ones.

The only reason he’s not fucked post-worm is bc it fends off the worst of his usual symptoms. He has conflicted feelings about it (on one hand, being able to put honey in his coffee and not feel like his brain is exploding is nice, on the other, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck.)

Post game he is left in a… state. He’s gotten used to life with less pain and is absolutely bedridden for a WHILE bc suddenly he’s being hit with his usual pain n symptoms but he’s not used to it anymore so it’s absolutely destroying him.

#cakewrites #cakedraws #baldurs gate tav #bg3 tav #tav #Charlie [tav]#userhaarleps

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itzynabi · 2 years

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boyfriend?

summary: in which yeji finds out about eve's boyfriend

set: 20 august 2022

word count: 1.0k

warnings: a little crying, some swearing and i think that's it

an: heyo! i hope you guys enjoy this! it hasn't been proofread so bare with me. this takes place after this. feedback and reblogs are much appreciated

eve’s masterlist

When Eve returned to her hotel room, she felt like she was floating. There was a persistent smile that wouldn't leave her face, no matter how many times she tried to wipe it off. She entered the hotel room she was sharing with Yeji and leaned against the door, slowly sliding down it. She stopped just before she touched the ground, standing up and going to lie on her bed, unaware of Yeji's questioning stare.

“Are you okay, unnie?” Yeji asked from her bed. She had glanced up from her phone when Eve entered.

Eve nodded her head. “I’m perfectly fine.” She bit her lip to conceal her smile, tucking her hair behind her ear. She thought again of how san had asked to be her boyfriend. Of how he walked with her after they became an official couple, linking their hands together. Of how he walked her to her hotel door and hugged her goodnight.

“Are you sure?” Yeji asked again, now putting her phone down. “You’re acting weird.”

Eve sat up, leaning back on her arms. She shook her head, smile ever so present. “I��m okay. Don't worry.”

“Okay,” Yeji said, unconvinced, going back to being on her phone. Eve nodded at Yeji — even though she wasn’t looking anymore — and emptied her pockets of her phone and earphones, putting them on the bedside table.

“I’m going to take a shower,” she announced to Yeji, who nodded in response, not looking up from her phone.

Four minutes after Eve had entered the bathroom — and two after the water in the showers started running — Eve's phone started vibrating from its place on her bedside table. The first couple of times Yeji ignored it, but after the tenth time, she got annoyed by the sound. She stood up and fetched Eve's phone. She saw text notifications and tapped on them — Eve had already told the girls she doesn't care if they go through her phone. What Yeji saw made a gasp break out of her mouth.

What Yeji saw was so shocking she didn't even take note of the water shutting off and Eve coming out the bathroom not even a minute later, dressed in her pyjamas.

“Whatcha doing?” Eve asked, packing her clothes away and coming to stand by Yeji. Her eyes widened when she saw what Yeji was looking at.

sannie [20:34] just making sure but we're dating now, right?

sannie [20:34] i know we said we'd be each others boyfriend and girlfriend

sannie [20:34] but i just wanted to make sure

sannie [20:35] i don't wanna assume anything

sannie [20:35] should we use pet names?

sannie [20:35] or is it too early?

sannie [20:35] we can discuss this later actually

sannie [20:35] discuss ㅋㅋㅋ

sannie [20:35] i feel like an old man

sannie [20:36] i just realised you haven't read any of these

sannie [20:36] maybe you're asleep

sannie [20:36] i should stop bothering you then

sannie [20:37] make sure to have sweet dreams biyah

sannie [20:37] dream of me

sannie [20:37] choi san

sannie [20:37] your boyfriend

Eve groaned as Yeji turned to look at her, smirking mischievously.

“‘Choi San, your boyfriend’?” Yeji questioned. Eve lunged for her phone, but Yeji stretched her arm out, keeping it out of Eve’s reach. Eve began jumping to reach for it, but failed every time.

“Why are you even reading my texts?” Eve asked once she stopped jumping.

“You said I can,” Yeji quickly answered. “Now why is San sunbaenim calling himself your boyfriend?”

Eve sighed, dropping her head. “I was going to tell you guys later — maybe tomorrow — but we may or may not be dating.”

“Unnie!” Yeji excitedly exclaimed, dropping Eve’s phone on the bed and reaching for her hands, squeezing them. “I’m so happy for you!”

“Really?” Eve asked, looking up.

Yeji nodded. “Really. We all knew you liked each other. I’m glad you guys stopped being idiots and finally addressed your feelings.” She leaned in when she said the last part.

“Thank you, Jiji,” Eve shyly said. Yeji embraced her in a hug, squeezing her tight before pulling back.

“Are you going to tell the members?”

“Um, I kind of want to just wait on that. Give myself some time to fully process the information.”

Yeji nodded. “You can take your time before telling them. They’ll understand.”

Eve nodded. “You’re not… mad at me, right?”

“Why would I be?”

Eve sat down on the bed, sighing. Yeji soon followed her. “It’s just, I feel like I’m… I don’t know the right word, but I guess I feel like I’m doing too much? I’ve been in two dramas, I’m an MC, I had a solo debut and now I have a boyfriend!" she listed off. “But you guys don’t get to–”

“Unnie,” Yeji interrupted, tone sharp. “You do all these schedules to help ITZY, not because you necessarily want to. That’s what you told me. As for having a boyfriend–” Yeji shrugged– “you’re allowed to. Legally and personally. The dating ban’s over, and you’ve liked San since you shook up my soda. Nobody is going to be angry at you for finally doing something because you want to. Not the fans. Not the company. But you.” Yeji held her hand and continued. “I don’t think you know how happy I am that you’re dating San, unnie. I just wish you would’ve waited a few more days so I wouldn’t have to pay Mingi sunbaenim ₩10 000, but oh well.”

“Wha–” Eve began.

“Don’t ask,” Yeji said, shaking her head. “Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is I don’t care that you have a boyfriend. I mean, I do! Wow, I’m not good at this.” She sighed. “I’m glad you got a boyfriend, don't feel bad, I love you.”

Eve stayed silent for a few moments, registering everything Yeji said. “I love you, too.”

Yeji smiled and leaned forward, encompassing Eve in a hug. “You know they’re going to support you, no matter what, right?” she said in reference to their members.

Eve nodded. “Yeah. Just nervous, I guess.”

“Well, and I know saying this isn’t going to change anything, but you don’t have to be,” Yeji encouraged, pulling away from Eve.

“Thanks, Jiji.”

“Anytime, Bibi.”

tagging: @lunarxsun // @ateezivy // @ateezjuliet // @cafemilk-tea

©️ kim nabi

#itzy 6th member #itzy added member #itzy additional member #itzy member au #kpop added member #kpop addition #kpop oc #eve kim #kim nabi #itzy eve #yeji fluff #yeji imagines #naji

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darcyfangirlsfrequently · 1 year

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The Truth - chapter 1: Oedipus Wrecks

For @penelopeminded bc she's wonderful and helped me come up with this whole thing, and also @midnightsdestiel bc you asked to be tagged

Summary: What could have been a good day turns south quickly when Penelope receives a threatening message

Word count: 1199

Can also be read here on Ao3

Despite their best efforts, lulls in cases often presented themselves while they waited for search results to come through or for interviews to be completed. Fortunately, this lull happened to come at a reasonable hour to have a lunch break.

Tara lightly kicked Luke's foot under their desks to get his attention. "Hey, Alvez. Wanna get lunch? It's been a while since we've gotten to catch up." Truth was, Tara wanted to gush about her new girlfriend, and Luke wanted to hear it just as much, if the looks that shouted "you have some explaining to do," he threw her way were any indication.

"I would love to," Luke replied. "However, I already have plans with Penelope. Apparently, I owe her lunch for roping her back into this."

Tara bit back a small at his casual use of Garcia's first name. She noticed that was all he ever called her now. Not Garcia, not any nickname, he only called her Penelope. "Well it's about damn time you two went on a second date. It's been what, three years?"

He rolled his eyes. "Not a date, Tara."

"Did she propose this lunch?"

"Yes."

"What exactly did she say? Word for word?"

"You owe me lunch, and no talk of awful things."

"That's a date."

"No, it's not," he persisted.

"But you want it to be."

He fixed her with a sharp look. "Shut. Up."

Just then, Penelope walked into the bullpen. "Hey, Luke, you ready to go?"

Tara bit back another smile. Gone too were the days of Alvez and Newbie. Now they were only Luke and Penelope.

Luke grabbed his bag. "Yep. Let's go." He threw his arm around her shoulder and walked out of the bullpen with her.

She threw a wave at the rest of the team. "Have a good lunch break, guys! See you in a bit!"

JJ stared after them, eyes wide with shock and mouth agape. "Did… did they just…?"

"Casually leave for a lunch date together?" Tara finished. "Yeah. Yeah, I think they did."

JJ looked like she wanted to hit her head on her desk. "Oh my god."

Emily and Rossi came running out of the latter's office. "Did they just–?" Emily demanded.

"Yep," JJ replied.

"Well, according to us, yes," Tara clarified. "According to them? No."

Rossi put his hands in his face and groaned. "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

Tara laughed mirthlessly. "Yeah. Tell me about it."

***

Tara's words had wormed their way into Luke's head. Was this a date? Realistically, no. It had been nearly three years since their one and only official date, which had been beyond wonderful, according to him. But then covid hit, and Penelope said she didn't want to start a relationship when they couldn't actually see or be with each other. He understood and accepted, thinking this would all blow over in a few weeks and they'd be able to pick up where they left off. But then he blinked and years had passed, and they had never gotten around to that second date, and had become good friends. Not that his feelings for her had ever faded. Not that they ever could. So did he want this to be a date? Absolutely. But it had been three years and she seemed perfectly content to consider them frenemies, so the chances of her also wanting this to be a date were slim to none. So he had to resign himself to the fact that this was nothing more than two friends getting lunch. He could do that, right?

Wrong. His efforts to make himself ignore his persistent feelings for the woman in front of him just resulted in him being awkward and mostly silent the entire lunch.

"Hey, are you okay?" Penelope asked him. "You're acting strange."

"I'm fine," he replied in a voice he hoped was convincing. "Just… have the case on my mind, you know?"

"Uh uh uh," Penelope said, waggling a perfectly manicured finger in his face. "We said no talk of awful things."

He chuckled lightly. "Right. My apologies." He didn't say anything after that.

Fortunately for them, just as the silence was getting unbearable, Luke got a text from Tara. "Looks like we caught a break in the case," Luke told Penelope. "We're needed back."

She grabbed her purse and stood up. "Cool. Let's go."

This whole situation reminded him a bit of his date with Lisa that had been interrupted by Penelope herself, but he quickly put an end to that line of thinking.

She only. Wants. To be. Your. Friend.

***

For the rest of the case, Luke and Penelope didn't talk about anything unless it was work-related, but as soon as the case ended, she planned to put an end to that. She cared very deeply for him (deeper than she'd admit to him) and could tell something was on his mind other than the case.

When it was finally over, she called him into her office.

"Hey, what's up?" Luke asked her. "Is everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah, everything's fine with me. But what about you? Is everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"You've been acting weird ever since we went out for lunch a few days ago, and you weren't before. It's like something happened during the few minutes between deciding to go and me grabbing my things and a switch flipped in you. What's going on?"

"Nothing," he persisted. "It was just the case, I told you."

She signed and looked at him almost disappointedly. "Luke, please don't lie to me. I know I give you a hard time sometimes, but you are my friend and you can talk to me."

He knew she wasn't going to drop the subject, so took a deep breath and bit the bullet. "When I told Tara that we were getting lunch, she made a comment about it being a second date. That's when I realized that I did want it to be a date, but you didn't, so I was trying to make myself not want it to be a date, because I really enjoy being friends with you, and I really don't want to make you uncomfortable, so–"

He was (mercifully) cut off by the ding of a notification on Penelope’s computer behind her. She read the message and instantly felt the blush that was forming at Luke’s words vanish as her blood ran ice cold. “No no no no no,” she whispered. “No no no I thought this was over!”

“Penelope?” Luke asked. “What’s wrong?”

Penelope read the message again while muttering the word no to herself over and over again.

I warned you what would happen if you became too close to him. You didn’t listen, Penelope. And now I will come for you both.

Luke stepped up behind her and placed his hand on her back. “Are you okay? What’s going on?” He read the message. “Who’s the ‘he?’”

“You,” she replied in a whisper.

“Wha— me? Penelope, who sent you this?”

Penelope turned to Luke, who was now holding her by the waist, her brown eyes wide with fear and filled with tears. “It’s him, Luke. It’s Alexei Stanovich.”

#Garvez #Garvez fanfiction #Penelope Garcia #Luke Alvez #Tara Lewis #Jennifer Jareau #Emily Prentiss #David Rossi #Criminal Minds #Criminal Minds reboot #Criminal Minds Evolution #CME spoilers

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stillness-in-green · 1 year

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Chapter Thoughts: 378 — The Story of How We All Became Heroes, Part 4

Rather belated, but I'm hopefully getting back to something resembling on-schedule. Hit the jump, all. <3

On La Brava and Skeptic—

O La Brava vs. Skeptic is something I wish I could enjoy more than I do. I’m very fond of both of them, her dunking on him about his coding habits is very funny, and his reaction faces are always on point!

But… It was eye-rolling enough that the good guys had La Brava apparently just hanging out on the sidelines this whole time but never even hinted at her as soon as the hacking started, all in the name of a big surprise twist;[1] it’s worse that La Brava is the one who hacked Skeptic when he was just starting out.

Something I’ve been thinking about lately with BNHA, especially wrt to All For One, is the idea that the more characters are connected to one another, the smaller the world feels. Sometimes that’s what you want! A small world (in the sense of the scope of it that the story encompasses) can also feel more intimate or more claustrophobic, which are perfectly valid choices! But for a big heroic action story which, just last chapter, threatened The Whole World, I can’t help but think that the world should feel big and sprawling, full of stuff and people.

There’s obviously a balance to be struck there—go too far, and you wind up with the thing people sometimes complain about in Shonen Jump comics, where every arc introduces a new gang of characters that will cease to be important after the arc ends. Still, as someone who made the jump from lurker to fandom participant because of how much I adored what the Meta Liberation Army did for the feeling of depth in the HeroAca setting, I like it when Big Stories have Big Worlds.[2]

Can you see where this is going? It was one thing when La Brava was the only white hat hacker (or at least a nice pale dove gray) the heroes could find to counter Skeptic. At the very least, she made enough of a splash that I can see someone like Officer Gori, Hound Dog, or Deku bringing her up in the planning sessions.[3] She has established connections to the heroes, fair and square; my problem with her involvement was never about her relevance, but rather about my being unconvinced that the heroes had changed enough on-panel to ask for a villain’s help.

But her being the one that hacked Skeptic in the past? That is a line drive straight into “This makes the world smaller” territory. Are we to believe Aiba Manami and Chikazoku Tomoyasu are the only hackers in the entirety of Japan? Because that’s what, “Skeptic has only ever failed once in his entire life, and it just so happens that it was because of the only hacker Deku ever fought.”

O Skeptic getting collared by the Ketsubutsu squad is bullshit, frankly. Like, it can’t even have been a full minute since he fled the cave! I don’t care how “in the area” they were; I know good and well they didn’t teleport to his coordinates, and there’s no other explanation for them getting a heads-up on his location and then just materializing on top of him! God! It is so incredibly cheap that the guy set up in Deika as a hacker and a specialist in remote observation—the cameras he has set up on the streets, the information he gathers about the League, all the recording devices he had set up on Hawks, his literal satellite view—keeps getting caught off-guard by heroes turning up on his doorstep.

On Tsukauchi and Trusting Villains—

O I’m realizing, looking at the official scans, that it’s not Tsukauchi talking about leaving their defenses to villains, but rather the Glasses Cop dude. I rather preferred my initial impression because I like Hardass Tsukauchi and I persist in feeling that the story would have benefited from Deku and the kids having a nastier confrontation with the adults that represent the system. It’s good that he’s finally starting to be swayed, but I wish we could have seen it more directly.

The whole “villains are human too” line is great, but I feel like it begs the question, “So how long until someone applies that sentiment to, say, Moonfish? Muscular? Gigantomachia? All For One?” Tsukauchi’s words are very forthright: each villain, no matter how far they’ve fallen. Meaning every villain, no matter what. I wonder how they’ll ever find a way to live up to that?

On Gentle Criminal—

O Gentle is great; no notes.

Haha, no, of course I have notes. They’re all positive ones, though! Get ready; I’m about to have a pile of nice things to say! More than I have in ages!

This is the first scene that I’ve really thought the heroes, and Deku in particular, has earned in—God, how long? Way too long. Gentle and La Brava are my absolute favorite of Deku’s fights because it’s the only fight in the entire series that features Deku keeping the conversation going, engaging with his opponent(s) about what they want and why they want it so badly. He and Gentle respond to each other; they both recognize their reflections in each other, and, crucially, they both say so out loud.

I think the key thing that makes Gentle’s regard for Deku feel earned in a way Lady Nagant’s does not is that Deku really did give Gentle what he wanted: recognition. If you look at Gentle’s backstory, it is one person after another rejecting, spurning, or forgetting him. His school, his parents, the legal system, his old classmates, even the userbase of YoTube!—each and every one of them tells him, implicitly or explicitly, that he’s a failure who won’t amount to anything, a feckless loser with shallow ideals.

La Brava is the first person to acknowledge Gentle’s efforts. Deku is the second. Of course Gentle likes Deku and wants to help him! When we first saw him from the back doing so warm-up bouncing and already wreathed in the effect of La Brava’s quirk, guys, I cheered out loud. Just a fantastic return that he and Deku earned every inch of.

…The story at large probably did not entirely earn it, but that goes back to the whole thing of me not buying the cops and established heroes asking known villains for help, especially in such apparent secrecy that a bunch of people involved in this operation didn’t know about it (Deku, Mandalay, etc).

Anyway, I like Hardass Tsukauchi roughly addressing Gentle by his family name, especially the nice juxtaposition with La Brava’s heart-eyed enthusiasm and Deku’s very touchingly rendered expression of wide-eyed shock and vulnerable disbelief.

On the Prison Flashback—

O I mostly like this callback to the one prison that didn’t lose any inmates to the jailbreaks. It’s a little bit world-shrinking, but also strikes me as a pretty solid use of previously established fact. Also, it makes Gentle look like a total badass, wow. I would have appreciated him actually being able to convince one (1) person to stop rather than having to fight them all—prove that Deku’s methods work even when people other than Deku are using them, you know?—but I’m willing to grant that if anybody just wanted to stay in their cell and Do Their Time Fair And Square, they probably wouldn’t have been in the crowd trying to escape anyway!

O One thing I talked about a bit way back in the Mass Arrest essay was how, in real-life Japan, inmates are grouped by demographic and offense to be sent to prisons that hold mostly others who committed about the same type and severity of crime; it was one of the issues I saw with incarcerating the entire MLA. Here, we see Gentle—who very much did not commit any particularly nasty offenses; at worst he beat up some heroes—in the company of a bunch of more stereotypical stab-happy types. I wonder if that means HeroAca!Japan just has such a high crime rate that it doesn’t have the resources to keep up with all that careful sorting, or if administering some mildly humiliating beatings to heroes is enough to get a YouTube criminal sentenced to Maximum Security?

O Muscular is such a hunk, my god. He is so hilarious. What a gallant jailbreaking hero to downtrodden villains! We should have seen him fight Gentle, though; it’s hard to imagine a quirk more tailor-made to fend him off than Gentle’s. An air trampoline would have bounced him clear to the next municipality until he stopped having fun and just bailed to go find easier prey.

On that note, given that all AFO asked the Tartarus escapees (with the exception of Nagant) to do was rage to their hearts’ content, it’s maybe just a touch odd to see Muscular involved here. I had always assumed the prison breaks were mostly carried out by the Noumu! So did Muscular volunteer? Did AFO ask? Did Shigaraki (well, VFO)? Curious.

O It is, again, a little world-shrinking that Officer Gori shows up at specifically the one prison out of seven targets that Gentle was at. I can’t complain too much, though; Gori’s like the only cop in this entire series that has been not a total asshole to some hard-on-their-luck schmuck who wound up in the hot seat, so it just feels like a well-earned reunion. (Which speaks to the nebulous boundaries of good or bad coincidences—a lot is going to bank on how much the reader likes what’s happening. As always, if a reader is enjoying themself, they’re less likely to nitpick.)

On Lady Nagant—

O UNFORTUNATELY, I am not anywhere near as giddy about Lady Nagant’s return as I am about Gentle's. It’s cliffhangerish enough, however—and the scanlation for the next chapter has been out for long enough—that I’ll talk about her more next week. I don’t know that I have a lot new to say about her since the last time I broke down why I completely fail to buy her turn, but we’ll see.

Stray Notes—

O Why does anyone think UA falling out of the sky would be stopped by a new control program? I realize Skeptic was interfering with the place, but given that it didn’t actually start falling until Shigaraki set off a huge explosion in the middle of it, I assumed the problem was mechanical failure! Nothing anybody should be expecting La Brava to do about that!

O It’s heartening to see Deku reflecting back on Shigaraki’s words from Jakku. It’s a nice contrast to both Endeavor, who took the monologue as an opportunity to catch his breath before immediately starting to attack again, and Deku himself, who at the time didn’t even seem to register what Shigaraki said through the battle adrenaline. Shigaraki keeps handing Deku the keys to his issues and Deku has ignored them every time, so it’s good to see they’ve at least stuck with him. I wish we could have seen him weighing those words against The Crying Child, but let me not spurn what tiny bit of progress he is making.

O The Togawices human-chaining their way across the cables connecting the little attached island to the main body of the school is good stuff. Appreciate the little beat of Kaminari and Manga-kun being concerned about Aizawa and Monoma, too. (RIP Manual. If Iida were here, he’d probably have yelled your name, dude.)

O It’s funny to me that they gave Gentle the tattered remnants of his costume back—actually, it’s in even worse shape than it was last time he wore it, given that the exaggerated collar of his coat seems to have been detached completely from the coat itself. But they didn’t just give him and La Brava their costumes back; they also gave Gentle a marker for his eyes. XD Gotta have The Look, y’know?

O Tsukauchi’s mini-flashback of All Might walking off strikes me as mostly thin set-up for some later splashy reveal.

----

1: Go on, ask me how I feel about the Villain Reveal in Disney's Frozen.

2: Everyone please watch the Giant Robo OVAs.

3: Not that any of those three were involved in the planning sessions, mind you.

#bnha #chapter thoughts #gentle criminal #tobita danjuro #la brava #no. 2 green #bnha skeptic #tsukauchi ace detective #my writing

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percontaion-points · 6 months

Text

Edible Delectables chapters 3 & 4

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 3

Kara briefly wondered if licking Dr. Dietrich's face would be in line with her liquid only diet restrictions.

[Image description: Clint Eastwood, an elderly white man with grey hair, is sitting on a porch with a mug of coffee. He has a look of disgust and contempt on his face. It is captioned with “I had to read this and so do you.” End image description]

After he was gone, Kara hit the button for her IV pain meds and as she drifted off, her last thought was that Jason had called her Kara. Did he remember her, too?

Setting aside the fact that Jason and Kara went to high school together, what exactly is he supposed to call her? Ms. Baker?

We wouldn’t be having this conversation if they hadn’t gone to school together. This entire thing is so stupid.

"So what brought Kara Baker up?" Jaime was back on the scent.

"I told you, she was a patient in the ER," Jason replied.

[...]

"Yes, but you said you remembered her from high school," Jaime persisted, handing him two wine glasses.

Yes. Because I walked in, said “Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?” and then remembered high school. Because that’s how memories fucking work.

The subject was officially changed and they finished their dinner, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get Kara Baker out of his head.

Chapter 3 summary: Kara wakes up post-surgery, feeling awful because of said surgery. And angry because she’s on a liquid only diet following her post-op. There’s a lot of padding that serves no point, including a nurse telling her how to use the pain med button and that she should get up and start walking around. Editors? What editors?

Anyway, right after Eva and Eric leave, Kara is trying to get up to use the toilet when Jason comes in. He helps her into the room, but leaves her to do her business. Kara feels weird when she thinks that he called her “Kara”, despite it being her fucking name.

Later, Jason casually asks his twin sister, Jamie, if she remembers Kara from their senior year. Jamie is like “Oh, this girl? During your year of celibacy?” This sends Jason tumbling down memory lane and he thinks about his ex, Kate.

Before Jason moved away, he’d promised Kate to be faithful to her, and he was. Kate had promised the same thing, but when the two of them were reunited after the year was over, Jason found out that Kate had done literally everybody who asked, and anything that they asked of her. ANYTHING.

This turned into him being a manwhore, which was quickly followed by him focusing on his studies. Which normal people would say that it wasn’t a bad thing, but his family was convinced that he was gay… simply because he wasn’t dating anybody for two years. He found a kindred med student spirit in some girl named Michelle for a while, but after they broke up, she quickly got married to one of their old professors.

Back in the present, Jamie continues to be all “You like this Kara girl! OMG, how romantic!” Even though the only thing Jason said was “Do you remember her from school? Anyway, she came into the ER last night.” Jason is fed up with his sister.

Chapter 4

Jason arrived early at the hospital for his shift. Entering the lobby, his feet took over and, as if on autopilot, he walked to the elevators and hit the up button.

How can it be autopilot when this is the first time Kara’s been in the hospital before?

It would be autopilot if she had a long-term illness and he visited her every single day. But not literally 24 hours after her surgery.

"So...tell me about the DILF," Evalyn began as they made their way slowly from Kara’s hospital room.

"DILF?"

"Just substitute 'doctor'," Eva explained.

[Image description: Emma Stone, a young white woman with red hair. She is wearing a yellow top, a ribbon in her hair, red earrings, and red lipstick. She has a look of utter disgust on her face. It is captioned with “I had to read this and so do you.” End description.]

Kara giggled and continued back to her room.

Chapter 4 summary: The next morning, Kara kind of dinks around her hospital room for a while. When Eva comes in, Kara begs for her friend’s help with bathroom stuff, claiming that it hurts too much for her to twist around and wash out her own ass. And she’s too embarrassed to ask the MALE nurse for help. Eva does it, but under great emotional distress.

When Jason gets into the hospital, he goes to visit Kara. It’s weird and awkward. The scene drags on for too long, and serves no real point, since we already know that they went to school together.

After he leaves, Eva is like “OMG girl, explain!” So Kara does. Which again, it serves no real point since the readers already know all of this.

#Edible Delectables #bookblr #book review #contemporary romance #romance novels #chick lit

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ameliejones · 1 year

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early morning silence fills the galley - syn sits at the table, sipping tea, working a crossword puzzle - opposite her, harlow leans against the counter eating a bowl of cereal -

as he does most days, eamon heads straight for the fridge to get a protein cup, nods a hello to harly and makes his way to the far end of the table -

she follows him with her eyes, chewing thoughtfully - his movements are characteristically efficient, perfunctory - utilitarian -

then her attention drifts to syn, whose manner remains unchanged - tranquil, self-contained - seemingly unaware of eamon or of being observed, she takes a sip from her dinosaur mug and fills in another word - the pen shifts whimsically in her hand as she ruminates -

from somewhere in the recesses of harly’s sleep-dewy consciousness an idea coalesces - absently, she turns it over in her mind - it makes no sense, yet stubbornly refuses to be dismissed -

several seconds pass and harly sees syn nod to herself, almost imperceptibly -

when their eyes meet the look on her face is.. expansive -

it‘s immediately apparent that she knows exactly what harly is thinking, not telepathically but instinctively - she has been anticipating this moment -

her demeanour is respectful: unapologetic, but acquiescent -

initially harly is genuinely stunned - she has known eamon long enough to be able to read him very well, even between the lines -

this she did not see coming -

he’s had more than his share of hook-ups, but never on the ship - too messy -

it was an unspoken rule: eamon doesn’t do messy -

he doesn’t do clandestine either - shame is bullshit, i could give a fuck what people think. either i’m ok with what i’m doing or i don’t do it. if i fuck up i say so. -

she can hear his voice in her head - not boastful but philosophical; that distinctive, earthy tone he gets when he’s expressing thoughts he has that others don’t, honestly trying to understand how another way of thinking about it makes any sense -

they don’t last long, or happen very often, but harly really values those talks -

she had only been working in salvage for five months when they were partnered up for the first time, and right away she could tell there was something different about him - first off, her being an *outlier didn’t faze him at all -

through a combination of cashing in favours, luck, and sheer willpower she had managed to barter her way onto a barely space-worthy pirate skiff -

harly is used to it now, but back then she was still learning how to handle the way the crew behaved around her -

getting hit on was a given, especially on that backwater shitcan -

it’s basically white noise to her at this point, but she remembers feeling really threatened and hating always having to be on her guard -

there were times when some asshole would persist to the point that she had to put them down.. but they rarely made that mistake again, after they got out of the infirmary -

mostly they straight-up doubted her skills - but that didn’t last long -

over time she developed a reputation and things started to change; shipmates going out of their way to make her feel welcome, having her back when someone talked shit or crossed a line -

unfortunately, this was often accompanied by a weirdly paternal kind of attention, which at its best made her feel patronized and a little claustrophobic, and at its worst became overprotective, then possessive, and again ended with a stay in the infirmary -

from day one eamon treated her exactly like he would anyone else he worked with - full stop - that was the first thing she appreciated about him -

he would later tell her it was the same for him -

_______________________________

*outlier : a person who has no officially recognized status or education

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luna-jaden-shadow · 2 years

Text

Hopelessly In Love

Request - Hey Luna, I really enjoy your writing and I’m finally sending a request! Could you do a TWD oneshot for Rick Grimes where him & y/n find each other at the very begging of the apocalypse and start falling in love, but Rick pushes it away bc of Lori. When Rick finds out Lori cheated, y/n & him end up getting together. Thank you so much ☺️

Fluff

Warnings - Death, Zombies (the usual), Cursing?

Pairing - Rick Grimes X Reader ; Glenn X Reader (Platonic)

[ I love Glenn so I couldn’t not make y’all like best friends. Lemme know if you guys maybe want more parts ]

-><-

“You’re sure you want romance advice from me? I’m hopelessly in love with a man who has a family.” You deadpan at Glenn, who leans against the wall opposite of you in the RV.

Glenn was the only person in the camp who knew of your little crush on their “leader”. While he was never officially labeled that, pretty much everyone preferred him over Shane Walsh of all people, who was in charge before you and Rick arrived weeks ago. You’d convinced yourself it was a little crush that would pass in no time and yet here you are, avoiding the man who you’d saved at the start of the apocalypse. You were held up with Morgan and his son when you’d met Rick and agreed to help him find his family, and you did. That didn’t stop you from falling hard for the fearless ex-sheriff.

The two of you were a good team, taking charge whenever it was needed, and bouncing ideas off of each other. You were the person who he trusted without a single doubt, who he talked to about everything and vice versa (along with Glenn for you). It just became harder to hide your crush when Lori was all over Rick, which you didn’t blame her for since it’d been a stressful last couple of days for everyone. You’d made it clear that you were there for him and his family no matter what, that you’d do anything for them. You’d even offered/given blood for Carl when Rick was barely able to stand.

One day, you and Rick went out searching for Sophia and you’d noticed the way he’d subtly distanced himself from you. You took it as a sign that you were intruding on their marriage when really Rick wasn’t sure what he was feeling for you and was struggling on how to act, or if he should act on it.

Glenn sighs, running his hand over his face. The poor kid was having crush troubles of his own with Maggie, whose home your people were currently camped outside of. You two had become close friends since he’d saved you and Rick. “I just don’t know women.”

You snort a laugh, “and you think I do?”

“Probably not, but you know people.” Glenn corrects, “and it was you or Dale and Dale will give old man advice.”

“I’m gonna tell him you said that.” You joke, turning in the booth to properly face him. It wasn’t a surprise that she was acting wonky around him since he’d found out about there being walkers in the barn (a secret you were going to keep since he’d accidentally vented it to you). “It’s not like I have a manual on ‘what to do when you find your friend with benefits has a barn full of walkers’ on hand Glenn.” You sigh, “You said she kissed you after you got back today?” You try to recall what he told you.

“Yeah, there was this walker in the pharmacy, she almost got bit.” He goes on, “And then she called me stupid but smart, and then called me walker bait. I’ve never been so confused before.”

“You and me both Glenn.” You stand up, stretching to crack your back. “Regardless of what you do it’s gonna get mucked up because either you’re going to tell the group or someone like Shane’s gonna wander too close to that barn and all Hell’s gonna break loose.” You insist, glancing out the window of the RV.

“Hell’s gonna break loose anyway.” He groans, putting his face in his hands. You walk closer to him and pat his shoulder.

“I know, but it’s gotta be done. After that, just stay persistent, you like her, she probably likes you if she’s sticking around right now. I think it’ll work out for you.”

“And what about you?” Glenn raises an eyebrow at you.

“What about me?”

“You know what I’m talking about.” He crosses his arms.

You step back from him. “Nothing’s going to happen because he has a wife and a child. He’s not gonna leave them for me, Hell, I wouldn’t leave them for me.” You point out, getting a sad look from Glenn. “It’s something that’ll pass. As for now, I’ll just have to reel back a bit.”

“You’re really sad, you know that?” Glenn points out, watching you lean on the table of the booth.

“Yeah, I know.” You give a sad smile, the two of you walking out of the RV. The sun was starting to set slowly, giving the whole farm a golden glow to it. “Anything else you wanna tell me before we go our separate ways?”

Glenn thinks for a moment, looking at you over his shoulder. You can tell there’s something there that he wants to get out. “Lori’s.” He stops, keeping his eyes locked with yours and it’d not too hard to piece together what he was talking about. He and Maggie went on a run to the pharmacy for a second time, per Lori’s request. A rather urgent, sudden request, that had him ditching you for the day.

“Pregnant?” He nods and your eyes widen a bit, not wanting to be right with your guess. That was going to change everything. “I’ll talk to you later yeah?”

Glenn nods and heads off, leaving you alone in front of the RV. You bite the inside of your cheek, taking a glance around the camp out of habit. When you’d caught sight of Rick, coming back to camp, you nearly turned to go the opposite way. Far away, by the gate, was Lori. You couldn’t tell what happened but you had a feeling that it wasn’t good.

“Evening Sheriff.” You greet him when he approaches, now finding that there was no avoiding him when it seemed that he was actually going to talk to you. “Everything alright? You don’t look so good.” You voice your concern, following him into the RV when he beckoned you.

You watched him pace the RV for a few moments after you closed the RV door. He didn’t look at you right away and you let him collect his thoughts as you found yourself sitting in the booth as you were a few minutes ago with Glenn.

Suddenly, Rick stops and looks at you, you can’t quite make out the look on his face. “I’m sorry.” He suddenly says, only adding to your confusion and concern. Maybe he was finally losing his mind. “I’ve been pushing you away these last couple of days when all you’ve done is stuck by me. It’s not fair to you.” He goes on.

“It’s okay Rick, shit happens-”

“No, it’s not.” He cuts you off, running his hand through his hair. “Because I wanted Lori and me to work like nothing was wrong. I wanted to just ignore what I was feeling towards you for her sake, for Carl’s but it was stupid.” He admits to you, looking like a weight had just been yanked off of his shoulders. “She cheated on me, with Shane.” You look at him in shock, watching him turn away to look towards the window. “She’s…”

“Pregnant?” You finish so he doesn’t have to and when he looks at you in confusion you move to the inside of the booth, patting the spot next to you. “It wasn’t hard to figure it out when she started getting sick during breakfast.” You admit, covering for Glenn when clearly he didn’t know that the Korean was involved.

“I’m sorry.” He says again, sitting down beside you and putting his head in his hands, elbows on the tabletop.

“It’s okay.” You reach up and gently rub his back.

“I think I like you.” He admits.

The two of you are silent for a moment, the two of you sitting there in the aftermath of what he had said. “I’ve liked you for a while.” You tell him, smiling when his head shoots up and he looks at you. “I didn’t want to come between you two and mess things up between us.”

Rick shakes his head. “You could never mess things up between us.” He insists, offering you his hand. You take it and he just runs his thumb over the back of it. “I like you.” He tells you, now certain and confident in his words. He couldn’t explain the way that you alone made him feel like he was back in high school, with some stupid crush.

“Are you gonna be okay?”

“I am now that I know what I’m feeling.” He leans over and presses a kiss to your cheek. Your face heats up. “I wanna try this.”

“I do too.”

#the walking dead x reader #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead daryl #the walking dead rick #rick grimes #rick grimes imagine #rick grimes drabble #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes headcannon

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flooffybits · 2 years

Text

Done With You

Idol: Hwang Yeji (Itzy)

marshmallow: hey, can i request an angsty scenario w yeji from itzy? based off "do re mi"- blackbear. yeji is like that bad bitch that everyones wants to date, but she end up w y/n but then she get like bored and start dating other people without telling y/n, so then y/n then get angry and confronts her in middle of the college and yeji also gets angry and they almost end up in a fight. idk if u are willing to write smth like this, hope so, luv ur writing. college au btw.

Word count: 3.5k

Warning: mentions of alcohol, getting drunk, cheating, very brief hints of suggestive content, toxic relationship, Yeji is insensitive and egocentric

☕buy me a coffee☕

Hwang Yeji was a force to be reckoned with. Aside from her fierce looks and high popularity standing, her name was known all over the campus because of how she attained her spot. And people either wanted her attention or refused to do anything with her at all due to her reputation.

You were, formerly, the latter, wanting absolutely nothing to do with the dance team's most popular member.

It wasn't as though you hated her. But you've heard enough about her to know not to bother. It wasn't as though you had any classes that involved her, considering you had two different courses.

However, it's during one of the parties your friend, Ryujin, had managed to drag you to where you first officially met the girl. She had stated that life was too short for you to be spending it indoors, studying.

You were in college to study. Fun would come when you were free, you would tell her, and that always earned you an eye roll from the latter before she would stick by you either way.

You and Ryujin balanced each other out, helping you relax when you were too paranoid with your studies, while you were there for every drunk call or emergency and even helping her with her own studies when she needed it.

So it was absolutely no surprise when she successfully brought you to the party, where you met the infamous Hwang Yeji.

She was intrigued by you upon introduction. You merely gave her a small nod of acknowledgement before turning back to your friend and acting as though she were not there at all.

And while it was nothing new to her, Yeji found herself looking at you again during the party, this time without Ryujin anywhere near you whilst some guy, who clearly had more drinks than he could handle, was getting too comfortable in your personal space.

"Learn to take a hint. She's not interested."

You were a little surprised when Yeji intervened, putting herself in between you and the boy before she had gently, yet firmly, nudged him away.

"So… Ryujin tells me you're not really one for parties." You blink when she addresses you, but shrug in response. "She can be stubborn when she wants. I was just dragged here." You had muttered, earning an amused laugh from the taller girl while your brows furrowed together. "Of course, it's not a surprise with how persistent she can sometimes be."

At that moment, you didn't realize that your best friend was actually close to her. Perhaps it was only a matter of time and you were bound to cross paths with Yeji.

She kept you company for the rest of the night and you, surprisingly, found her presence comforting. She was fun and she was nicer than you had originally painted her to be, which you had apologized to her about.

"It's alright, I kinda get that a lot so it doesn't bother me so much anymore." She assures you, her eyes showing the utter sincerity she had.

But before either of you could continue talking, you were interrupted by your best friend who finally found you after a couple drinks.

You had to apologize and made sure to bring Ryujin back to her dorm, seeing as she was in no condition of being on her own. But of course, even in her drunken state, your best friend was able to poke a bit of fun at you, no matter how nonsensical her teasing was.

"I thought you didn't… didn't like her?" She jabbed with a slight poke to your arm when you did your best to balance her on her feet. "You were getting real cozy." She drawled out and you sigh while shaking your head.

"Maybe I judged her too quickly."

Despite your peaceful conversation, you doubted you'd even see her again after that night.

Or so you thought.

Literally a day after the party, you found Yeji standing in the hall with a kind smile plastered on her face, people glancing at her with curiosity. She didn't usually come over to this side of campus unless she was asked to.

However, as soon as her eyes caught your figure, she was quick to walk over, her grin widening even just a little bit. "Hey, I was afraid I might have missed you." You're understandably confused by her words, and everyone else was just as clueless as you were.

Since when were you and Yeji acquainted?

Even some of your classmates knew that you weren't exactly involved with the "popular kids" on campus. Ryujin was the only exception.

"I… wasn't aware we were meeting?" You voice out and she giggles before rubbing the back of her neck in a sheepish manner. "I know. Sorry, I was hoping we could pick up on our conversation last night." She explains and you're honestly surprised when she begins to tell you about how she found your overall self interesting to be with.

"I asked Ryujin what class you had. I hope you don't mind."

Honestly, after misjudging her, giving her this chance wasn't that bad, so you agreed. And to the offer after that, and the one after.

Yeji basically waited for you after your class for a whole three weeks before she finally built up the courage to properly ask you out…

And you were already drawn into the charms that she possessed at that point and agreed in a heartbeat.

Being with Yeji had been an absolute dream, up until five months into the relationship.

While you both still did hang out together, you both had different classes and different activities. You only managed to see each other during breaks and on the weekends that you barely even felt her slipping from you so soon.

You would talk to her as much as you could though, getting her gifts every now and then when something caught your eye, but for the past week, you've begun to notice a change in her behavior.

While she was still somewhat the same as when you both started, she also had this slightly off character behavior when a few people would pass you by or when you were anywhere near her things.

Her smiles were looking more practiced and less genuine, but her words were always still coated in honey. Every time an inkling feeling of doubt began to touch your mind, it was as though she would know right away and her lips are already making you forget about all of it.

But it was all temporary.

You would remember it right away when you're not with her, and the glances you now received in the halls were different compared to before.

You were used to some of the scowls and sneers, but what you were not used to, however, was the pitiful stares directed at you.

It takes you a few days to catch on to what was really happening, but you deny it at first. Of course, Yeji was popular, but you also wanted to cling to the hope that maybe she was different with you and that you really did mean as much to her as she promised you did.

But you weren’t.

Not when you could see her with her tongue down some random person’s throat in the very obviously crowded halls with some of their friends cheering them on. Ryujin looked to and from, unsure with what to say, but you decided for her as you turned on your heel and walked away without letting your so-called girlfriend know that you had just caught her red handed.

You didn’t need the headache right now. But you played her game.

You waited with how long she would keep up the dumb charade of stringing you along, completely unaware of what you now knew, and you weren’t sure whether to say you were disappointed or impressed.

But when a month had passed, you’ve decided that enough was enough and dropped her entirely.

It wasn’t an official breakup, but there didn’t seem to really be a need to say it out loud, not when she was very much preoccupied with whoever she decided to see behind your back and not with how you’ve stopped bothering to check on her.

Everyone else had also assumed you had broken up, anyway.

But it looked like Yeji didn’t get the memo.

“She’s what?” Yeji paused in her tracks after her brother had commented about you moving on fairly quickly. Hyunjin raised a brow at her, head cocked to the side in confusion as he repeated his sentence. “Honestly, I didn’t think she’d be over you in a month. You must not have been as good as you thought you were.” He joked, and the confusion filled the younger Hwang even more as she stepped away. “We didn’t break up.”

Another wave of confusion came over their group before another person snickered at the dancer. “Well then, it looks like someone’s learned to play your game, Yeji.”

That did not sit well with her.

There was just no way you would be cheating on her despite what she’s already been doing. While she didn’t care much anymore, it was more so her pride on the line with this new information as she made her way to your building and waited outside your class.

However, you were not among the sea of faces that usually exited the class when it ended. In fact, she doesn’t even recognize the professor that exited the room, so she’s quick to pull one of the students by the arm and ask what their course was.

“Where the hell…”

After finding out that your class had moved to a different location in the building, she immediately exited and opted to find you in the field. Everyone would be there and she remembers how you always lingered there. You liked to people watch, you had told her. So it wouldn’t be a surprise if she found you in one of the places you would both spend time together in between breaks.

And she was right

Right under one of the trees, she found you typing away on your laptop with your best friend sitting right beside you, talking about something she was too far to even hear.

“Y/n, we need to talk.”

You don’t bother looking up at her when she approaches you, but Ryujin does, and her eyes widen a little before she attempts to pull at your arm. “Y/n, come on.” She muttered, but you refused to budge. “I’m busy.” You grumble, and Yeji’s patience runs thin when you don’t even acknowledge her.

“Y/n.” She tries again, but you’re adamant to keep her existence away from your focus… until she decides to make it known by shutting your laptop. You’re only lucky your reflexes are quick enough to pull away and avoid getting your fingers caught.

“What the hell? I was working!” You glare up at the intruder, but Yeji’s own glare matches it as she crosses her arms with a scowl painted on her features. “I said we need to talk.” She snapped back and you only rolled your eyes before snatching your laptop from the table and shoving it into your bag to leave.

Yeji’s annoyance shifted into anger as she reached for your arm and yanked you back. “I have nothing to say to you, Hwang! Whatever you have to say, you can shove it up your ass!” You shouted and your ex girlfriend looked a little taken aback by your sudden aggression.

You’ve never raised your voice at her.

“What is wrong with you? I just wanted to talk!” She shouted back while you pulled your arm away from her. “I’m hearing from my brother that you’re seeing someone else?” She demanded and you’re honestly not sure if she was being serious or not.

What the hell did it matter to her? You weren’t hers anymore.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” You deadpan and it infuriates her how you don’t even bother denying the accusation. “Because you’re my girlfriend?” She scoffed and your expression shifted a little as you slowly cocked your head to the side.

“Your girlfriend?” You muse with a laugh. “Is this some sort of joke?” Ryujin starts tugging at your arm again when more people begin to look over, but you keep your eyes on Yeji’s angry but also confused expression.

“You know, at first I felt bad for judging you so quickly.” You say calmly, and Yeji isn’t sure she understands where this is suddenly coming from, but there’s a dread building in her stomach. “But the past months only proved to me just how right I was about you.”

Slipping out of Ryujin’s grasp, you step closer to Yeji, almost menacingly before jabbing a finger at the center of her chest. “Blowing me off for friends, I could excuse that. I could have excused the lying, but cheating…” Her blood ran cold as you smiled innocently at her. “You have some nerve to come up to me accusing me of cheating when you were screwing around with basically everyone when my back was turned.”

Stepping away from her, you gave the dancer a once over before shaking your head, deciding that it wasn’t worth the effort to even argue with her, but you do ask, just to knock her down a little more.

“Tell me, how many times did you sleep with Ryujin before she decided to end it because she felt guilty?”

Your best friend’s head snapped to you, growing pale at your words before she spoke up. “How did- Wait, Y/n, I didn’t…” But you only raise a hand to stop her from making any form of excuse. Even Yeji looked just as shocked by what you’d said because Ryujin did, in fact, call it off between them after she couldn’t look you in the eyes for nearly a week due to her guilt and shame.

“Ah, was that supposed to have been a secret? And here I thought I was wrong about something about you.” You click your tongue before finally fixing your bag’s strap on your shoulder and begin to walk away. “Maybe that’ll teach you before you try to make a fool out of another person.”

"Oh, and I hope you have plans on paying me back after that joy ride you took with my car. Really did a number on my headlights."

People were quick to separate, forming a path for you as you left and Yeji was left watching after you, dumbfounded. Ryujin, on the other hand, had pushed past the opposite direction and got out of everyone's view as quickly as she possibly could.

It's only when the whispering starts does Yeji finally snap out of it and her scowl comes back ten times harsher. "What are you looking at? Don't you have homework to do?" She snapped at them, and in an instant, people dispersed like smoke while Yeji stomped her way to her dorm in hopes of just shrugging off the shit show she had just brought herself to.

You're thankful that you had absolutely no reason to cross paths with Yeji after that mess of a breakup. Could you even consider it a breakup? Maybe.

Ryujin had been your only common denominator but even she had stopped showing her face to you. Though it wasn't as though you were purposefully ignoring her, you just saw no reason for you to stick around someone who had boldly gone behind your back and blatantly lied to your face for as long as she did.

"Hey, mind if I take a seat?"

You look up at the new voice cutting off your train of thought, just to make sure it wasn't you being addressed, but the girl was standing right by the bench you were occupying with her eyes trained on your face.

Glancing around, there were a lot of free places she could sit at, but not wanting to be rude, you just nod your head.

"You don't talk much, do you?" She observes when she takes a seat and you're honestly so confused as to who this girl was and why she was talking to you as though she already knew who you were.

And she seemed to have understood the expression you wore before her smile turned a little sheepish. "Right, sorry, my name is Lee Chaeryeong. We shared a gen ed class once before." She explains and then gestures in your general direction. "I also kind of know a bit about you after the whole Yeji thing a few months back."

Well that explains it.

Letting out a puff of air, your shoulders sag a little because of course you had something for people to talk about now even though all you wanted was a peaceful college life.

"Hey, if it's any consolation, I think it was really nice how you stood up for yourself. I'm sure I would have just cried if I was in your place." She offers and you're a little skeptical with her kindness.

It reminded you of when you first met Yeji.

But you decided to let Chaeryeong do her thing, listening to her as she spoke, even though you don't really answer her as much.

That goes on for another month and you're slowly getting used to her babbling. You speak up every now and then and she's more than happy when she manages to get you to say more than just one word.

She knows you don't trust her yet, but she also understands why.

Two months later, she manages to see the ghost of a smile on your lips when she trips over her own feet as you make your way to the theater to join her. She wanted to show you a play her and her team were working on, only to cut herself off when she fell to the ground.

The pout on her face quickly melted away when she caught it, but she didn't push as you offered to help her up, only accepting your hand and then walking the rest of the way without letting go.

It was safe to say that you probably have grown comfortable with the girl that was too shy around strangers yet a completely sassy and snarky disaster to her friends. You were no exception, but she was a little more gentle, sometimes.

“Hold on, let me go grab my bag.” Chaeryeong beams happily at the quick peck to her cheek, but there was no denying the significant change you’ve had ever since you’ve first met each other.

It was like your straight face and standoffish behavior were never there to begin with, a myth if she didn’t experience it firsthand. She was glad though, because it made her reward much more meaningful now when you do smile at her.

“So you’re the person Y/n’s replaced me with?”

Chaeryeong doesn’t need to turn around to know who was talking to her, but her face does shift to a more neutral one as she responds. “You can’t replace something that wasn’t really there.” She shot back, hearing the scoff coming from the older girl before she turned around.

There was a little form of satisfaction knowing that she could get under your ex’s skin without even trying. Yeji just easily handed it to her.

“Leave them alone. You managed to do that even before you officially broke up.” Yeji stayed quiet for a few minutes before she shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’m not here to cause trouble. I just thought I’d check, but seeing that they have company, then I guess it’s whatever.”

Chaeryeong’s brows pinch together at the latter’s behavior, but she does note how the older girl glances over her shoulder, to the direction you went off to. “I’m honestly a little surprised you managed to get them to open up.”

At that, your girlfriend hums before looking over her own shoulder. “You broke her trust… in more ways than one.” Ryujin is an unspoken factor, but the way Yeji’s face shifts shows her that she remembers.

Ryujin was your best friend, practically your other half, but she managed to strip her away from you in the most merciless way possible and you were left all alone.

“I would never make the same mistake you did. I’m nothing like you, and I hope you know that I would never hurt Y/n the way you did.”

Yeji stares at her for a while before she nods her head, resolute. “I don’t doubt that.” She mutters while shoving her hands in her pockets. “You’re lucky to have someone who holds trust so preciously let you in.”

“It’s a rare chance, especially with someone like Y/n.”

And with that, Yeji left, leaving Chaeryeong to mull over her thoughts before you came back. What Yeji was trying to achieve, she would never know. But as you came back and took her hand in yours, another smile bloomed across your girlfriend’s face before she started to lead you away from campus.

With the way your smile resembled the warmth and brightness of the sun, Chaeryeong knew Yeji was right about one thing.

She was lucky indeed.

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #itzy #itzy scenarios #itzy imagines #itzy x reader #itzy yeji #yeji #hwang yeji #yeji scenarios #yeji imagines

180 notes · View notes

from-the-clouds · 3 years

Text

Kiss Me More (Part II) - Zemo/Reader

Masterlist || Part One

Summary: Part two, read part one if you haven’t already! Sam & Bucky put reader in charge of looking after Zemo....again. Series loosely inspired by this song.

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: Kissing, heavy petting, mentions of sex, minor TFATWS spoilers.

A/N: Wow! I was so shocked on the feedback I got on the first part of this story. It has nearly 800 notes. I’m not used to my writing getting that kind of attention so I really appreciate the love. I decided to make this into at least a 3-4 part series and there will be eventual smut, but I feel like there’s something sweet between these two that goes beyond an obvious physical attraction, so I do want to build that a bit before we get there. This weekend I rewatched TFATWS & Civil War because I’m officially obsessed with Zemo lol. Please let me know what you think, and let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist. :)

-----

“Keep an eye on him.”

Y/N watched Bucky and Sam split off again. That was now at least the third time she’d heard that phrase since she arrived in Riga. Little did they know, she was probably the worst person to be put in charge of Zemo. Truthfully, it was starting to be a little insulting.

It was unclear why she’d been brought along on this mission, when half the time Sam and Bucky were talking in hushed tones just out of her earshot. There was always more to the story than they told her, but this time, it felt like she was more out of the loop than ever.

She adjusted the neckline of the sweater she wore out of an abundance of caution, checking subconsciously to make sure it hadn’t exposed the mark Zemo had left on her from the day before. It was a discovery she’d made that morning, and persisted despite her efforts to cover it up with makeup.

“According to those two, I must be the best at babysitting you,” she muttered under her breath. It was petty, so she wasn’t even sure if she wanted him to hear. But he did.

“Babysitting?” Zemo lifted an eyebrow.

“You know, a nanny, a governess….whatever a Baron’s equivalent is,” she said, looking him in the eye for the first time that day, which was a mistake. He looked so handsome in that long, fur-lined coat, tall and refined, hair styled perfectly. There had to be warrants out for his arrest since escaping prison, and in his current getup, he was hard to miss.

It wasn’t easy to ignore the stifling tension between them. The Baron hadn’t left her thoughts since she’d closed the door on him the evening before. Now they were alone again. She couldn’t decide if that was thrilling or terrifying, so she decided on both.

“It’s nice of them to give us some alone time,” Zemo stepped close to her, one gloved hand pressing between her shoulder blades. Despite the cool temperature outside, it was the first thing today that had her shivering.

“Walk with me,” he commanded sternly. She saw no opportunity to refuse as they started in the direction opposite of where Bucky and Sam had disappeared.

“Zemo-”

“Helmut,” he corrected her. “But go on…”

“We have to focus on figuring out where Donya’s funeral will be,” she said, feeling his hand slide down to settle on the small of her back, trying to inch away, but he just pulled her closer. “We can’t waste time.”

“I know Riga inside and out, that won’t be as difficult as you and your friends think,” he murmured. His proximity was already suffocating. Or maybe comforting. It was hard to tell. “Tell me, what is your business with them? You aren’t an Avenger. This was my first time hearing your name.”

She snorted, finally finding the strength to pull away, and he dropped his hand. That was one thing that had confounded her. He was confident, took liberties with what others would allow, but knew when to stop pushing. There was something alluring to his nature.

“I’m not,” she responded, wondering how much she was willing to share. When she stole a glance out of the corner of her eyes, his head was lowered, leaning in, listening intently for her response. She wondered if he really cared, or if he was good at pretending. It was easy to believe that he did.

“Bucky and I aren’t that different,” she continued. “That’s why we’re friends. I’m not a super soldier, but I was taught how to fight, how to kill. I followed orders for too long without questioning whether or not I was doing the right thing. And at least now, I think I am.”

“You think,” he repeated, and corrected her again like he had the day before. As much as she wanted some kind of clever or quick quip back, she wore her heart on her sleeve for the moment and shrugged. There was nothing to defend when she still wasn’t sure what responsibilities she had in this world.

Zemo halted, and she paused too, turning back to look at him. “So you were an assassin,” he murmured, reaching out. Nodding slightly, she lowered her eyes when his gloved thumb brushed across her face. The buttery, overpowering smell of leather took her over as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I would’ve never guessed. Du bist so süß.”

Her knowledge of German was limited, but she could see a flash of what looked like affection in his eyes. He couldn’t be lying, could he? She wondered. She wanted to trust that he wasn’t, wanted to identify every good part of him she could, so she could justify the overwhelming attraction she felt towards him. Something in her just kept pulling forward against her will, like a magnet.

“You’d be surprised,” she answered, but didn’t pull away. The intensity of his gaze made her feel weak, but there was something strangely reassuring in his eyes. It was just the two of them, standing on a crowded sidewalk.

She rose her hand to clasp around his, frowning when she felt the hard loop of a ring on one of his gloved fingers. It had gone unnoticed by her, until now. He still wore a wedding band.

It would have been easy to vocalize the observation, gauge his reaction, try to regain some upper hand and remind him who exactly he was dealing with. But, it would’ve been pointlessly cruel, as she knew what that felt like to answer that question. Those days were behind her, now.

As if the universe was scolding her, a loud car horn broke through the perceived silence. His hand dropped from her face, and they began to walk again.

“I had lots of time to think in prison,” he said after a heady pause in conversation. “About the things I’d done. Whatever intentions you have, to someone, you’re always the enemy. What I thought was important, trying to serve the greater good, it isn’t always worth the trouble. I was trying to protect what I had already lost, the places and people I’d taken for granted.”

Deciphering his words, she took a moment before responding. “That’s actually...very insightful,” she said, partly surprised by what he’d shared, appreciating that he felt her vulnerability, and matched it in his response.

“I know you’re stunned I’m not a brute,” he answered, increasing his pace to a determined strut rather than a lazy stroll. She was forced to keep up with him. “You’ve been told what to think about me by Sam and Bucky.”

She scoffed. “Not just them. The entire world. All the people you’ve hur-”

He halted and turned to face her so quickly, she collided with his chest and her breath caught in her throat.

“I’m not that man anymore,” his voice was nearly a growl, disgust laced in his features as he looked down at her.

But as soon as she recognized it, he became expressionless again, backing away. Falling back into step beside him, they continued to walk, a bit faster than they had been before. She followed him, at this point convinced that she might get lost without his guidance, but a little startled by his sudden change in behavior.

“What do you think of Riga?” he asked her as they cut through an alleyway. His voice held none of the venom that it had a few moments ago, so she wondered if she’d just hit a sore nerve.

“It’s beautiful,” she answered, admiring the old brick buildings and fine architecture. “But I think I haven’t had much of a chance to appreciate it.”

“Have you been thinking about me?”

They ducked under an alcove, and she realized he’d carefully led her off the crowded streets. It was much quieter here. She suddenly didn’t feel as protected as she had been with him in the open. The temperature in the shaded space was much lower than expected. And he was standing over her, waiting for some response she didn’t know if she could give.

“I haven’t forgotten about last night, liebling,” he continued.

Of course she had been thinking of him. Nearly nonstop. What they’d shared, what it meant. She hadn’t been able to sleep until she relieved herself, fingers rubbing her clit and delving into her warmth, whimpering his name when she finally came. Still, it had done little to quell the ache inside her.

It was a horrible thing, she’d decided. Objectively horrible, and unprofessional. There was the consideration of accessibility. What did he see in her beyond a means to an end? Was she really going to throw everything she’d worked for away to a man who was going to use her to scratch an itch?

Too much was at stake, Sam and Bucky’s trust, her reputation, her job, and she couldn’t allow it to go on.

But oh, how much she wanted it to.

“Yesterday was nice,” she straightened up, holding her own. “I won’t lie to you.”

The corner of his mouth tugged up slightly in a self-satisfied smirk.

“But I’m not foolish,” she continued. “Coming on to the first woman you see after you get out of jail? Seems pretty convenient.”

At first, the Baron tilted his head to the side, his brows pulled together at her words. But after a moment, the smile returned, and he chuckled. “Is that what you think this is about?”

“Don’t insult me, Helmut,” she said sternly, trying her best not to feel embarrassed. She was only being honest.

“Are you always so severe to yourself?” he asked, tutting lightly.

It would have been better to say nothing. Why give him anything at all?

She didn’t answer his question, just backed away from him and began walking in no particular direction, wanting only to increase the space between them and regain her common sense. That was impossible however, as she was jolted backwards before she even knew what was happening, a firm hand on her upper arm, and she was chest to chest with Zemo once more.

“We were in Madripoor together. I could’ve had my way with many women there if I wanted. But I didn’t.”

“Please-” she rolled her eyes.

“If all I wanted to do was fuck someone, I could have done it by now,” he stalked forward, the air pressure around them dropping, weighed by the tension hanging thick between them. “But that’s not what I want. I want you.”

His words, spoken in a soft, low purr rattled away every bit of resolve she had left in her. Some last ditch effort found her stepping backwards, but her body met the brick wall behind them and she realized he had her cornered.

In more ways than one, she thought.

Taking in a shaky breath, she looked up at his eyes, clouded with lust. “I know you want me,” he said, not a shred of doubt in his voice. But why should there have been? He was right.

Her eyes darted around, like someone or something around them was going to jump out and save her from herself. It didn’t go unnoticed. “There’s no need to be scared, liebling. I feel it, too.”

With that, he closed the gap between their lips. He tasted sweet, like the candies he’d been eating back at his flat. Turkish delight. She was drowning in him again, his scent, his touch, everything about him enveloped and beguiled her. Her shirt had bunched up slightly somewhere along their walk and his gloved hands explored the exposed skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

She surrendered, letting him tease open her mouth and claim her wholly. It was still bad, she knew. But there wasn’t any last bit of self-control left in her.

The layers of clothing between them didn’t allow for the same proximity she’d had to him the evening before. Groaning in delight and frustration, she reached up to tangle and rake her fingers through his hair, as his fingers curled around the top of her sweater, revealing the sensitive skin of her neck.

“Don’t hide this,” his lips left hers as his eyes focused on the stamp of affection he’d left behind the day before. “Let them see.”

“You know I can’t,” she responded, sheepishly pulling it back into place. Studying her with amiable consideration, his hand rose to brush tenderly across her cheekbone.

“I thought you’d come to me last night,” she confessed, drawing away slightly, shocked by her own admission. But right now, she didn’t feel the need to put up as much of a facade. He looked positively virile; panting, his cheeks flushed and hair mussed, pupils blown out as he focused on her. To know she was the cause of his current state of disarray gave her an immense amount of satisfaction. A buried, salacious part of her wondered what else she could do to make him look even more unkempt.

“I considered it,” he said, sounding almost timid. “But I want to do this right.” He leaned in, pressed a kiss beneath her ear. “In private, so no one can disturb us,” he continued, lips moving down her neck. “We can take our time, you can be as loud as you’d like.”

The mental image he was currently painting for her was doing very little to strengthen her convictions, whatever those had been. The thought of her legs wrapped around his torso, naked bodies pressed together sent a bolt of electricity through the pit of her stomach, radiating outwards. She wanted his lips on every inch of her skin. Aching at the possibility, the present tease of his teeth nibbling on her collarbone wasn’t helping.

“You know we can’t,” she didn’t try to stop the thought as it came out of her mouth.

“What is there to lose?”

Everything, she thought, but didn’t answer. She couldn’t really, as his gloved hand was trailing slowly under her jacket and sweater, against her bare skin, and cupping her breast through her bra. Whimpering, she couldn’t control the way her body arched against his.

Hooking her knee on his hip, she let him press forward, feeling the warmth of his excitement through his trousers and her jeans. He ground against her once, teasingly, and she moaned softly into his mouth.

He was the one to pull away, and she was thankful he did. “Think about it, liebling,” he said softly, pressing a tender kiss to her temple. “Du hast die Kontrolle.”

“We can’t,” she answered again, but even she didn’t believe herself. Raking her hands through her hair and adjusting her rumpled sweater, she straightened up. “We have a job to do.”

Brushing past him out of the alcove, each step she took away from him gave her the self control she desperately needed. She glanced over her shoulder to see him reluctantly trudging behind. At this point, she wasn’t foolish. There were only two ways this could end.

----

Part III

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#tfatws #tfatws spoilers #helmut zemo x reader #helmut zemo x you #helmut zemo #helmut zemo fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #zemo x reader #zemo x you #zemo #baron zemo #bucky barnes #sam wilson #daniel bruhl #helmet zemo fanfiction #tfatws imagine #mcu #mcu imagine

1K notes · View notes

kiyosamu · 3 years

Text

a lucky encounter~

———♡———

pairing: issei matsukawa x female reader

genre: fluff, first date, one shot // 3.7k words

synopsis: when a fellow third year at fukurodani won’t leave you alone, you desperately try to find an excuse not to go to prom with him. funny enough, your perfect excuse walks by in the shape of a certain 6’2 volleyball player.

———♡———

“come on, i know you’re not going with anyone.” a man towering over you pressed his palm to your locker, caging you in and rendering you unable to make a quick escape. “go to prom with me.”

the school volleyball team walked by and gave you strange glances as they headed toward the gym. you silently pleaded for any of them to save you, but you’d never even spoken to any of them.

“come on, washio. we need to warm up.” the captain, bokuto, gave him a hard smack between his shoulders and the dark haired man flinched. he nodded at bokuto and turned back to you as the team went into the gym.

you knew you just needed to speak up and say no.

why was it so hard to do that?

“i am, actually, i uh- i have a boyfriend.” you said quietly.

“really? who?” washio gave you an amused grin, clearly not believing a single word you were saying.

you crossed your arms, trying to act as natural as possible. “he goes to a different school.”

“really.” he snorted, “what school?”

“uh-“ you paused, glancing around and could’ve sworn a lightbulb appeared over your head when you realized the volleyball team was hosting a game from another school. tall boys in teal and white uniforms walked past the two of you, not paying attention to your situation.

you nodded at them. “he goes to aoba johsai.”

“aoba johsai.” he smirked, “kinda far from here, isn’t it? this is our first time ever playing them.”

you shrugged. to be honest, you didn’t even know where the school was.

“huh.” he smiled, “well who is it? he must be on the volleyball team since you’re here, right?”

you were actually at school late because you needed private tutoring for college entrance exams. but he didn’t need to know that.

“yeah, he is,” you were getting frustrated with washio’s persistence and just wanted him to go away. it was obvious he didn’t believe you, though, and wasn’t going to stop.

as you looked away from him, a tall volleyball player from aoba johsai slowly walked down the hallway. you wondered why he’d taken longer than the rest of his team, but you took it as a sign. now or never.

“he’s right there!” you smiled, ducking under his arm to run to the taller boy. you gripped onto his arm and he practically jumped away, eyes wide with surprise when he did a double take between you and washio.

“wh-“ he opened his mouth to ask what was going on before you quickly interrupted him.

“i missed you, babe!” you smiled, standing on your tiptoes to hug him. he awkwardly returned the gesture which gave you the opportunity to whisper in his ear.

“please pretend to be my boyfriend,” you hissed, “he’s a creep and won’t leave me alone.”

you pulled away with a smile, turning to look back at washio who was completely dumbfounded.

“i missed you more.” he smiled, leaning down to give you a kiss on the forehead. he put his arm around your waist and guided you towards the gym, still speaking loud enough so washio could hear. “find a good seat, i wanna hear you cheer for me.”

“of course!” you giggled, snuggling into him. washio scoffed, walking past the two of you before heading over to the side of the gym with fukurodani’s players.

you immediately pulled away from the man. he looked down at you with a playful smirk.

“i’m so sorry, thank you so much-“ you began.

“it’s no problem.” he grinned, “go sit down. i’m already late and my captain can be a real ass.”

“oh, i don’t have-“

“you’re not gonna stay and cheer for me?” he gave you a fake pout and you laughed, nodding along to his request.

“sorry, of course i will. it’s the least i could do.”

“cool! the guys are gonna be really jealous.” he grabbed your hand and walked into the gym with you. all eyes were immediately on the two of you, washio whispering to his teammates and aoba johsai’s team staring in disbelief.

“alright, i gotta go.” he gave you a thumbs up.

“okay- wait, who am i even cheering for?” you looked lost as the only time you were ever in the gymnasium was for p.e.

“matsukawa.” he smirked, leaning in closer to you, “but if you wanna make it real believable, you can cheer for issei.”

“oh, okay then.” you smiled. he nodded towards the bleachers on the aoba johsai side of the gym.

“see ya!” he waved as he jogged towards his team.

“…bye?” you said to yourself. his teammates flooded around him in a huddle, some of them looking up at you and you were suddenly aware of how you were the center of attention. might as well get a good seat.

———♡———

walking up the bleachers on their side felt like you were at a different school. their fans and colleagues completely filled the stands. even more than your own school, and they were having the game at fukurodani.

you sat down in one of the only empty spots and pulled out your phone. it was 6pm. you were tired, and to be honest, had absolutely no idea how long volleyball games even were.

“hey, can i ask you something?” a blonde girl sitting on the bench behind you poked you on the shoulder.

“yeah, sure.” you looked back at her curiously.

she leaned in, looking back and forth before speaking quietly to you.

“are you dating matsukawa?”

who? …oh!

you let out a nervous laugh, waving your hand dismissively. “oh i wouldn’t call it that! i-“

“oh my god, look how red you are!” she squealed, pulling on the sleeve of the girl next to her. “they’re totally dating!”

“no way!” the other girl shrieked. “well, i’m sure we’ll hang out soon since i’m with oikawa.”

“he can’t be your boyfriend if he never officially asked you out.” the first girl muttered, turning to you. “i’m yuki, by the way.”

“well he is, okay! he’s just… shy.” she pouted and looked back at you. “i’m sakura.”

you introduced yourself to them, pausing before asking “which one’s oikawa?” a bit too loudly.

“what?” they both looked at you in disbelief.

“only, like, the most popular guy in school.” sakura blinked. “number 1. the captain, setter for their team. has matsukawa not introduced you to him? they’re, like, best friends.”

“oh, uh- not yet-“

“shh! it’s starting. we can’t interrupt his serves!”

the game began and you found yourself enjoying it as the night continued. you quickly leaned seijoh’s cheers, joining in with them to cheer for each of the players when the time came.

you made sure to cheer extra loud for matsukawa, who noticed and gave you a thumbs up.

when the game ended, aoba johsai had won. you noticed your school’s team looking visibly defeated. bokuto, who was the only one you knew by name other than washio, looked like he wanted to cry.

they shook hands and parted ways.

“come on!” sakura grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the stairs. “let’s go see the guys!”

“oh, we really don’t have-“

“come on, we can congratulate them on their win.” yuki smiled. you nervously went along with them, unsure of how to act once you got down there.

“congratulations on your win, boys!” the two girls called in unison near the locker room doors. you nervously stood there with your arms crossed as 4 of the players looked over to you.

“aw, is your girlfriend shy, mattsun?” oikawa sauntered over to you, tilting your head up by your chin and smiling at you. you were taken back for a minute, silently wondering if he was secretly an idol or an actor. his movie star looks were unexpected.

sakura immediately glared at the two of you. you nervously stepped back, only to feel his arm around your waist. “i don’t believe for a second that he pulled someone as pretty as you.” he whispered.

“get off of her, you freak.” a brute looking guy approached the two of you. he grabbed on to the back of oikawa’s jersey, pulling him off and away from you completely.

“aw, iwa-chan, always so noble.” oikawa teased.

“uh huh.” he muttered, turning to look at you. “nice to meet you. i’m hajime iwaizumi.”

“hi!” you smiled. you genuinely had no idea what was happening. this was going to be awkward to explain later.

“shouldn’t you be talking to someone who’s actually interested in you?” matsukawa cooed, walking up to you and putting an arm around your shoulder. he was the tallest player and his height was almost intimidating.

“what’s the fun if there’s no chase?” oikawa smirked. yuki whispered something to sakura and she finally spoke up.

“hi, toru.” she smiled.

“hm?” oikawa hadn’t even noticed the girls standing next to you. sakura looked up at him with bright eyes full of hope and was immediately shut down.

“oh, hi.” he gave a fake smile, “thanks for coming to the game. see ya later!” he waved them off and headed into the locker room, pulling iwaizumi by the wrist and muttering something in his ear as they walked side by side.

yuki and sakura said their goodbyes, clearly wanting to vacate as soon as possible. this left you and matsukawa standing alone at the gym entrance.

“so, wanna get something to eat?” he suggested.

“oh, uh, you don’t have to do that.” you smiled, “you’ve done enough. really.”

he took his arm off of your shoulder and leaned back against the wall. “i’m not asking because i feel obligated. i think you’re cool and i want to get to know you.”

your heart fluttered at his words. the way he spoke was both dominant and respectful. the latter being a trait you had yet to experience with a man.

“on second thought, sure.” you nodded. why not? you had nothing to lose at this point.

“sweet.” he grinned, “do you have a curfew?”

“not anymore. now that i’m over 18 my parents kind of just want me to fend for myself at this point.” you laughed.

“all right then. let me take a quick shower and change and we can go. do you mind waiting?” he swung his backpack over his shoulder. “i’ll be, like, 10 minutes tops.”

“oh, yeah, go for it. i have some stuff to put in my locker so i’ll meet you back here?”

“sounds good!” matsukawa excitedly jogged off to the locker room and you stood there unable to really process your evening. in a good way, though. you were excited.

for the first time in a really long time.

———♡———

“where are we going, anyway?” you asked, leaning back in the passenger seat of his car. you’d been driving for almost 45 minutes now, mindlessly chatting about yourselves and singing along to the music playing through the speakers.

“it’s kinda like a diner. lots of food choices. good milkshakes.” he leaned his left arm on the driver door with one hand on the steering wheel and you couldn’t help but admire this man who was only a stranger to you a few short hours ago.

matsukawa glanced over at you as you spaced out, letting out a small chuckle. “is that cool?”

“yeah, yeah, that sounds great.” you nodded, feeling your face get hot, “sorry, i was just thinking about something.”

“let’s be honest,” matsukawa smirked, “you were checking out these guns, weren’t you?” he winked and flexed his bicep at you and you immediately turned away.

“no! i-“

“i’m just kidding,” he snorted, “i don’t think i’d be able to live with myself if i said something like that seriously.” he leaned over, patting your knee reassuringly and placed his hand back on the steering wheel.

“by the way, if you get uncomfortable or wanna bail, i totally get it. just let me know and i’ll take you home. or even pay for a taxi to get you back.” his tone was light but you could tell he meant his words, “i’m sure it’s not a common occurrence for you to hang out with some random guy from another town so i don’t want to do anything to make you feel unsafe.”

“i’m fine, matsukawa, really.” you smiled, “where is this coming from?”

“i have a little sister and have seen how shitty and weird other guys can be. not to mention the way some of my friends act.” he rolled his eyes, “i just don’t want to be that guy.”

“i get it. i appreciate your thoughtfulness.” you noticed him pulling into a small parking lot with a cute little diner, just like he’d said.

“we’re here. don’t get out yet, okay?” he shut his car off and quickly got out. you looked around, unsure of why he wanted you to wait.

your door opened and matsukawa offered his hand to you to help you out. you graciously accepted, already feeling like you were falling prematurely out of pure appreciation for his manners.

“let’s go eat!” he said happily, putting his arm around your shoulder and leaning down to talk quietly your ear. “by the way… you can call me issei.”

———♡———

“that was good, right? did you like it?” matsukawa paid for your dinners (he insisted on paying for both), and the two of you walked back out to his car.

“it was. thank you so much.” you couldn’t lose the massive smile on your face. it felt too good to be true. he was sweet, cute, funny, and a total gentleman.

“my pleasure. i hope we can do that again.” his smile was as big as yours and you weren’t ready for the night to end yet.

“me too, i’d love to-“

you were interrupted by his phone ringing, he checked who it was, and apologetically told you it’d only be a second.

“hello? yeah, uh, i’m kinda busy tonight, really? shit, you have to go in? in 10 minutes?” he sighed, “it’d be nice if you let me know ahead of time. i’m with a friend. i can’t just bring her over… wait, i can? i- yes it’s a girl! jeez. have a good night at work.” he hung up and groaned.

“i have to go home, my mom’s gotta go into work and my sister is gonna be home alone.” he ran his hand through his hair, “i’m so sorry, that’s so lame of me. you’re totally welcome to come over, but i understand if not and i can pay for a taxi-“

“i’d love to come over.” you said as you leaned back in the front seat. he turned towards you with wide eyes.

“no way? really?” he couldn’t hide his excitement.

“sure, why not? it’s a weekend and i’m having a lot of fun. only if you’re comfortable with me coming over, though.”

“oh, yeah! of course!” he started his car, letting out a sigh of relief. “to be honest, i’m having a great time and wasn’t ready for the night to end yet. i was hoping you’d want to come over. we can watch a movie or something?” issei was very animated when he talked, and as he was speaking he subconsciously rested his hand on your knee while he drove.

“sure that sounds great.” you placed your hand on top of his and relaxed in your chair. “i was feeling the same way.”

matsukawa looked at you and made a satisfied hum, resisting the urge to do a double take at the beautiful girl who’d been taking his breath away since he laid eyes on her.

———♡———

matsukawa had made sure his sister was sleeping and the two of you went into his bedroom to watch a movie. his bedroom was big, it was the master bedroom of the house with an ensuite and everything.

he’d made an entire blanket fort on his bedroom floor. comfy pillows all over and even made popcorn.

“my mom will be home at like 3 or 4 am,” he yawned, laying down on his stomach next to you. he groaned as he stretched his body out before continuing, “so i can take you home after if you want.”

“i’m not in a rush. are you sore?” you glanced over and he nodded.

“always get really sore after a good game. we played well but man it takes its toll.” he sighed, “i guess that’s the price to pay.”

“you just need a good massage.” you smiled, feeling a bit daring. the late night and building feelings were making you feel… impulsive.

“want me to give you one?”

he turned back to look at you. “one what? a massage? hell yeah! i mean, if you want.” he tried to tone down his excitement.

you giggled at his reaction and straddled his lower back, sitting down on him.

“okay, just relax.”

you started at his neck and worked your way down his shoulders, you rubbed into his muscles carefully and he made small noises to let you know how good it felt.

“you were so tense.” you murmured, leaning in close to him.

“mmh- well, i’m definitely not anymore.” he let out a weak laugh, sighing and resting his head on the pillow. “feels so good.”

“glad i could help.” you said quietly, moving your hands under his shirt to rub his back directly on his skin. his skin was warm, very soft and you could tell how toned his back was just from touching it.

you finished giving him a massage and he’d pretty much turned into a puddle of bliss. the stress on his body gone in just a few minutes and it was such a relief.

“thank you,” he smiled. you laid down on your stomach next to him, the two of you turning your heads to face each other.

“my pleasure.” you smiled back.

matsukawa let out a happy hum, studying your face carefully before resting his palm on your cheek.

“i just wanted to thank you for choosing me.” he said softly, “you could’ve picked any of the idiots on my team to save you from that dude and somehow ended up with me. and now here we are after spending the entire evening together.”

you nodded into his palm, resting your hand on top of his.

“i’m happy it was you who happened to be there. the right person, in the right place, at the right time.”

“maybe we should just date for real.” he said casually. your eyes widened at his boldness. you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t hoped he’d say something like that, but it was still something that made your heart race hearing it out loud.

you softened your gaze and smiled at the man in front of you. the kind, respectful man that you just wanted to spend more time with.

“i’d be cool with that.” you replied quietly.

“yeah?” he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, “let’s do it, then.”

you gazed into each other’s eyes and you leaned in closer to him.

“a gentleman isn’t supposed to kiss on the first date.” he whispered playfully, his lips barely an inch away from yours.

you looked into his eyes with an equally playful smirk. “that’s too bad. i’ve been hoping you would all night.”

“hmm,” issei pulled you closer, pressing his lips to yours. his hand travelled down your side and pulled you against his chest. “i suppose i can make an exception.”

you giggled against his lips, bringing your hands up to tangle in his hair. “well aren’t i lucky, then?”

“hah,” matsukawa pulled away for a second, silently appreciating your beauty once again. he sighed, pressing his forehead to yours before giving you another soft kiss. “and here i was thinking that same thing… ever since i laid eyes on you.”

#issei matsukawa #mattsun #haikyuu fluff #matsukawa issei #matsukawa x reader #matsukawa fluff #mattsun fluff #fluff #haikyuu #issei #matsukawa #haikyuu x reader #mattsun one shot #haikyuu oneshot #matsukawa x y/n #matsukawa drabble

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scuttle-buttle · 3 years

Text

WC: 2261

Rated: M

Tags: angst, medical issues, pregnancy complications, hurt/comfort, anxiety, brief mentions of medical procedures but no gore, nothing is technically sad, fluff, papa laszloooo

A/N: honestly tho I am sorry. also i maybe cried a little writing this, which is a first. also also everybody is fine in this it's just emotional

Blame @hardlyinteresting

🧠

"Three weeks…. Three weeks little bean…" you mumble as you rub your protruding stomach after a particularly harsh kick to your ribs. The chair was a sweet relief to your ankles after a long day at work and doing some light chores around the house all afternoon. You had three weeks until you hit 39 weeks into your pregnancy. As much as you were anxious you were ready. Ready to not feel like a bloated whale. Ready to not have sore feet. But most of all, ready to hold your baby girl.

Laszlo had been trying to convince you to take it easy and start maternity leave early, but you resisted. The last thing you were about to do is nothing. Most first pregnancies went late anyway, you'd argued, so you didn't worry about it yet. I’m pregnant, not dying - give me another week, you'd told him.

What you didn't tell him was about the headaches. Or how sore your legs were. Or how absolutely exhausted you'd been feeling the last couple weeks. Whenever he would ask if you were alright or offer a foot rub you would just brush it off as third trimester woes. You didn't want to worry him.

You were sat in an armchair in the parlor, feet propped up, damp rag over your eyes. The droning from the tv had your nerves on edge. All you wanted to do was take some tylenol and feel better, but you had been knocking back more than was probably safe the last few days so you went without.

A sudden pain shoots through you causing the rag to fall onto your chest. “Ohh...ow? OW!” You sit up straighter as the ache persists; the dull throbbing in your upper abdomen unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Were you in labor early? Did she just kick in a bad spot? No no - surely the pain would’ve died down by now had that been the case. Unless? Can babies kick so hard they rupture something? Did my kid just bust my liver? Your thoughts run rampant as you wait, in vain, for the pain to go away. The pricking behind your eyes and in your temples only made it more hellish. Pressing your palm to the spot does nothing, nor do the breathing exercises you had been taught.

When five minutes have passed by without relief you make the choice to call out for your husband. “Laz?” No response. “Laszlo!” A beat passes; nothing. You swallow through your building nausea.

“I swear to fucking-” you growl as you snatch your phone from the end table to your left. You use all your concentration to dial his number.

It rings four times.

“Bärchen, why are you call-”

You don’t let him finish. “Something’s wrong.”

______

Head thrown back into the flat, starchy hospital pillow you groan in frustration. “permanent bedrest?” You scrub the hand not clutching your belly down your face.

The emergency room Obstetrician gives you a pitying look. “I’m afraid so - your blood pressure is high and we want to keep it under control to prevent outcomes such as pre-eclampsia. I recommend doing as little as absolutely possible; get rid of as many stressors as you can.” He flips through your chart. “You said you’ve been having headaches and fatigue for nearly two weeks? Why didn’t you come in sooner?”

Huffing, you tell him “I thought it was just part of the third trimester. Everyone always complains about how bad it is.” He hums in response.

“Well. I’m going to go take a final look at your labs, make sure everything else is fine before we discharge you. I’ll send in my Nurse Practitioner to give you the run down and anything else you’ll need to know. And should anything else like this happen again - get in here immediately.” He pats you awkwardly on the hand before nodding at Laszlo and leaving the room.

Laszlo.

Sparing a glance from the corner of your eye you see him looking towards his lap, his weaker hand cradled in the other. He’d been quiet since you admitted when your symptoms had first begun. Every single time he’d asked you how you were feeling you had lied to him. Granted, you didn’t technically know you were lying. But it makes little difference when you’re sitting in the ER. He had every reason to be upset.

“Laszlo honey,” you reach over to him. Slowly he takes your proferred hand and stands, coming to stop beside the bulky bed frame. His thumb caresses your wrist.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve examined the signs, kept a better eye on you.”

“Laz-”

“-No-”

“-I didn’t want to worry you, okay?-” Your voice breaks as you defend yourself.

“-I could’ve done something, maybe- I don't know!” His slightly raised voice startles you quiet. The pain in his eyes only makes you feel guiltier. He licks his lips. “I took the liberty of calling your mother. She will be here tomorrow afternoon and will be staying in the guest room as long as we need her.”

Now you look away, indignant. “I don’t need to be watched like I’m a child.” The tears behind your eyelids rush in; a lone drop trailing down your cheek as the embarrassment settles within your gut. You knew that at some point it was likely you would need her here. However you imagined it to be under happier circumstances. A deep inhale fails to calm your sobs. “I just- I don’t want to be a burden with all this.” Your tears flow freely now.

“My dear you could never be.” Laszlo sits on the edge of the bed. He rests his right palm above the swell of your child, his left cupping along the curve of your jaw. He tilts you to face him. “But the health of you and our girl is what is most crucial now. Let us take care of you. Please.”

A gentle kick underneath his palm from your daughter is answer enough.

__________

Two weeks. 14 days.

Lying in bed, sitting in the same spot for hours on end was actually going to be the death of you. You were sure of it.

Your mother truly has been a huge help since arriving. Laszlo wanted to start his paternity leave, but you insisted that he stay until you were closer to your due date. Which couldn’t come fast enough, you might add. Both Laszlo and your mother were prone to pestering you about some things, but at other times if you truly wanted to be alone they gave you your space. Now was one of those times. Laptop to your side, you watch another episode of Grey’s Anatomy. A knock sounds. You turn to see your husband standing in the doorway, the blood pressure monitor in arm.

He gives you a bright smile. “How are you two on this fine afternoon?”

“Cut it with the attitude, bucko. Let’s get this over with.” The words, while harsh, had little bite to them. His brow raises but he says nothing. You honestly felt bad that you’d been in a pretty foul mood since being discharged. On more than one occasion you’d said as much to Laszlo and your mother - they didn’t deserve your ire. Thankfully they understood why you were so frustrated.

You held the strap in place as he secured the velcro and started the machine. Buzzing filled the overall quiet room. Closed eyes you wait. Some days your results were higher than others. Unless you became higher than a certain threshold the doctor said you were safe to be home. At the sound of a beep Laszlo unhooks the cuff, reporting that your levels are within the acceptable range. When he goes to leave you alone you clutch at his sleeve. He waits as you peer up at him. “Stay?”

He never could say no to you.

______

Little bean’s ruthless treatment of your bladder had you up for the second time that night. You waddled to the bathroom to attend to your business and wash your hands. Glancing at the circles under your eyes in the mirror you sigh. “I love you baby bean but you’re giving me a run for my money here, kid,” you whisper as you rub your stomach. Three days, you remind yourself.

The floor creaks as you shuffle back to bed. Suddenly, an odd warm trickling sensation travels down your legs. “What the fuck?” Looking down around your bulging bump you find yourself standing in a small puddle, the glint of the bathroom night light reflecting off the surface. “Shit okay…ah Laszlo? Hey, I need you to wake up.”

He grumbles. With a roll of your eyes you walk over and shake him awake. “Hey- what-” he sits up instantly and blinks at you. “Is everything alright?”

“My water broke.”

He hops into action right away. Moving you to sit on the bed, he pulls out his cell phone to call your doctor. As he talks you watch him move around the room, the phone wedged between his ear and shoulder, as he collects your hospital supplies. You feel useless as you sit. Yet, you know that your priority needs to be keeping yourself calm and that moving around could exacerbate your condition.

He hangs up. Coming to stand in front of you he presses a kiss to your forehead; “I’ll go wake your mother. Don’t move, Liebling.”

As you sit you blow out a long breath. You look down at your bump. “Guess you decided you’re ready to go, huh kid?” The tip of your fingers brush along the side of your stomach. “I know we’re ready for you too. We’re going to love you so much, and your daddy? He’s gonna be the best, you’ll see.” Placing your palms flat she nudges you from within.

_____

The doctors decided that a c-section was the safest route. You both knew it was a possibility, but you had hoped that after weeks of bedrest that your blood pressure would balance out enough for a natural delivery. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. They monitored you for an hour before your contractions began, officially confirming you were in fact in active labor and dilating. After the fourth hour your blood pressure began to spike again. That’s when they decided to prep you for the procedure.

The operation went smoothly. The atmosphere of the surgical suite was tense with your nerves, but Laszlo’s calming words and his hand squeezing yours kept the anxiety from spilling over. You even found it in you to poke fun at how ridiculous he looked in the puffy blue elastic hair cap he wore.

When the first cries rang out you nearly tried to hop off the table to see your baby. The doctors worked quickly to ensure you were in proper condition while the infant was cleaned.

“Dad? Would you like to come and cut the cord?” one of the nurses calls out.

Laszlo looks back at them before turning to face you. He searches your eyes for a moment; “go,” you nod with a smile. You watch as he did what the nurses instructed as best you could, her soft wails echoing in the small room. He returns to you right after while they finish wrapping her up in a blanket.

“She’s beautiful my dear,” your professor confesses. He leans to give you a lingering kiss. “I’m so unbelievably proud of you.”

“I love you so much.”

“As I love you.”

The doctor interrupts your moment. “Would you like to hold your baby girl?” The question is directed at you, but you look over to your husband. The man you love more than life itself. He stares at the little bundle as if she’s the most incredible sight he’s ever laid eyes on. He can’t take his gaze off her. His irises sparkle with unshed tears as he looks on with wonder.

“Laz?” Finally he breaks away. “Hold your little girl - she’s been waiting to meet her Papa.”

Carefully the doctor shifts his hold on the babe to slide her into Laszlo’s waiting arm. He swallows as he pulls her to his chest. Something caught between a sob and a laugh leaves him. You blink through your own tears at the sight of your husband and daughter, a sight so far beyond perfect there could be no words. Laszlo held her with such delicacy, such reverence. It was as if any moment she could slip away as though a dream.

“Hello there my little dove, I’ve been waiting a very long time to meet you.” He doesn’t bother to wipe away the streams that fall from his eyes. “I’m your Papa and I-” he sniffs, looking towards the ceiling and blinking rapidly to clear his eyes. You rest your hand on his bicep. “I love you so very much. I would give you the world if I could. Your grandfather didn’t...he was not....” he pauses to gather himself. “To me you are the greatest gift I could ever receive. I will be the best father I can for you. A father worthy of you. Mein Gott, Ich liebe dich my darling dove.”

He continued to hold her in his arms until it was time to take you into the recovery room. When he had asked if you wanted her you simply shook your head. You would get your chance, you had a lifetime to do so. But your Laszlo needed this. He needed his little dove.

Tag list

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maddiwrites · 3 years

Text

Family Troubles

Pairing: JJ x Routledge!Reader, mostly John B x Routledge!Reader sibling dynamic

Summary: (Requested) After the death of your brother, you move to the mainland with a nice foster family. Months later, you get the biggest shock of your life that leaves you questioning what you want.

Note: I’m so sorry this took so long. I hope this is what you were looking for!

Word Count: 4.6k

You peek your eyes open to another sunny autumn day as your alarm echos off the walls of your room through your phone. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t dread the day ahead of you. Because you feel like you’re finally living a life worth living.

It’s been about three months since John B disappeared. The worst three months of your life. You never would have imagined living a life without your twin brother. It was lonely and heart wrenching. You didn’t think you would get through it. And living with the Cameron’s didn’t make your life any easier. Ward tried blocking you off from the rest of the world. He was afraid of what you could do to his reputation despite knowing most people wouldn’t believe you. You were just a Pogue with a criminal background.Your word means nothing to Kooks and cops alike. Nonetheless, Ward didn’t want to take any chances.

It wasn’t until you finally got in touch with Cheryl, your social worker, that your life started to change for the better. You couldn’t believe the irony of running to your social worker for help when you’ve been running away from her all summer. Surprisingly, she did hear you. She listened to you. She believed you! Although there wasn’t much she could do about Ward, she could help you get out from under his neglectful guardianship.

She placed you in a foster home with an eager Spanish American couple on the main land. Of course you weren’t ecstatic about it. Foster care was never something you wanted to be placed in. Especially without your brother. But at the time, anything was better than living with Ward Cameron.

The worst part of the process was telling your best friends. Kie and Pope, although disappointed, were happy for you because they knew this was what was best for you. JJ, however, didn’t understand how you could be so cool calm and collected about moving. Losing you to Figure Eight was hard enough and now he was going to have open water separating you two? He didn’t cope well with the news. He barely talked to you as you gathered your stuff to leave, almost didn’t show up to say his final goodbye with Kie and Pope. But he came as you were about to get on the ferry with Cheryl. The two of you cried and told each other you were sorry. You kissed his cheek and slipped a small piece of paper with your new address into his pockets. JJ reluctantly let you go with a promise that he will visit you as soon as he could and you believed him. Because he was your best friend, your soul mate, and partner in crime.

JJ saves up every week to take the ferry to visit you. He usually comes every Sunday, respecting your foster parents’ wishes that he not stay the night. At first they were wary of him coming over - they know about your past from the social worker and the News and how JJ was a part of it. They wanted you to have a new beginning. A fresh start. They believed you when you said your brother wasn’t a murderer and that you and your friends did nothing wrong. They were just afraid that JJ would convince you to come back to the Outer Banks (which he’s tried), or make you regress to past trouble making behaviors. But you explained to Maria and Luis, your foster parents, how important JJ is to you and that he needed to be a part of you life no matter where you were living. So they allowed him weekend visits, always making sure to keep an eye on you when he was here.

Someone lightly taps on your door until you say, “Come in.”

Maria pokes her head in and smiles when she sees you’re awake. “Morning, honey. Your appointment is in thirty minutes. Will you be ready to leave soon?”

You offer her a smile and nod. “Yeah, I’ll be down in ten.”

Maria nods. “Okay.”

She closes the door gently, leaving you alone to get ready for your appointment with your therapist. You agreed with your new foster parents to go to therapy once a week. They thought it would help you move on and grow and get rid of the nightmares that sometimes terrorize you at night. You went because you felt like you owed it to them to make an effort. They weren’t like the other foster couples you hear horror stories about. If they were gonna be there for you, you were gonna be there for them too.

The therapy sessions were working. You’re more open to talking about what you went through. The therapist never gave you any inclination that she was judging you or analyzing you. She just listened and asked you how you were feeling about everything. She helped you adjust to this new life on the mainland and taught you new coping strategies that didn’t involve getting into fights or arguing with the cops. She helped you through your anxiety about starting a new school and making new friends. She even prescribed you some anxiety meds that helped with your nightmares and panic attacks.

Both Maria and Luis drive you to your therapy appointment. You silently question why the both of them felt the need to accompany you to your appointment. You mentally list all the reasons as to why they both would want to come when usually it’s just one or the other. You’re too afraid to ask, thinking they’re about to drop a bomb on you and send you back to the island. You don’t want to hear it, procrastinating the inevitable for as long as possible.

When Dr. Hildegard greets you in the waiting room, she waves not only you but your foster parents as well into her office. The three of you take a seat on the brown leather couch in front of her chair. You awkwardly glance between your therapist and your foster parents, trying to read the room. You dig your nails into the skin of your hand to keep yourself calm, focusing on the slight stinging pain it leaves you.

“Good morning, Y/N,” Dr. Hildegard says. She takes notice of your fidgeting hands and smiles. “I know you must be confused and anxious right now. But Maria and Luis have something they want to ask you and felt you would be more comfortable having this conversation with me present.”

“Okay...” You say wearily.

Luis and Maria hold each other’s hands as they turn to look at you. You feel a little better when you see a smile on their face, making you think it isn’t going to be bad news.

“Y/N, how would feel about officially being a part of our family?”

You glance between your therapist and your foster parents and tilt your head in confusion. “I don’t understand...”

“Y/N,” Dr. Hildegard says. “Maria and Luis would like to adopt you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, back at the Outer Banks, JJ is getting ready to leave his house to make the last ferry to the mainland. He had to pick up another shift to afford another boat ride and a date for tonight, which left him racing against the clock.

Someone knocks on his front door. “Shit,” He curses and looks at the clock. 3:04. He needed to leave twenty minutes ago. He doesn’t have time to talk to anyone right now. He figures it’s his dad’s probation officer or druggie looking for money. So he ignores it so he can find his wallet.

But the knocking persists.

“Fuck,” JJ grunts and storms to the front door. “He’s not here -”

JJ freezes as he rips the door open. He didn’t know who he was going to find, but he definitely wasn’t expecting his dead best friend to be standing on his door step.

John B smirks up at his shocked reaction. “Hey, stud. Miss me?”

JJ’s brain is doing flips inside his skull, knocking around with so many questions and curses and phrases and shouts. But with that is the immense excitement and relief that takes over his entire body.

JJ jumps on him and wraps his arms around his best friend’s shoulders. Tears inevitably prick his eyes and he physically holds onto John B. He’s in utter disbelief. He never thought he would get this opportunity again. To see and hold his best friend - the best friend that’s supposed to be dead.

“Wow. Who knew JJ Maybank could get so emotional?” John B jokes, trying to hide his own tears through his laugh.

JJ removes himself from John B and shoves him back by the shoulders lightly. He wipes his upper lips with the back of his hand and sniffles back the rest of his tears. “Shut up, bro.” JJ narrows his eyes at the dead man in front of him and asks, “What the fuck happened? Where’s Sarah? Is she -”

"Sarah’s fine. We’re trying to lay low right now. No one knows we’re back.”

“What -”

“Look, I know you’re confused and there’s so much I need to tell you guys, but first I need to see my sister.” John B says with a sweet grin on his lips at the mention of his sister. He was most excited to see her - his first best friend and partner in crime. “Is she here?” JJ’s face falls at the mention of Y/N because he doesn’t know how John B is going to take the news that she’s no longer on the island. John B notices JJ’s hesitation and immediately get’s worried. “Where’s Y/N, JJ?”

“She’s not here.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You trail behind Maria and Luis as they unlock the front door to their house. The car ride home was awkwardly silent. You didn’t know what to say.

“Oh...” You said. You weren’t expecting that. You thought they’d be telling you the complete opposite. Yet, you didn’t know how to feel about their proposition.

Maria and Luis looked at Dr. Hildegard for some insight or ice breaker since you froze up on the spot. You looked back down at your hand and pressed your nails even harder into your skin, leaving half crescent moons indented in your palm.

Dr. Hildegard kept her calm smile and said softly, “Why don’t Y/N and I speak alone and I’ll grab you guys at the end?”

Maria and Luis, although a little disappointed by your reaction, agreed and stepped out of the room.

When the two of you were alone, Dr. Hildegard asked, “How are you feeling right now, Y/N?”

“I uh...” You stammered. “I don’t know. Shocked, I guess.”

“Usually when kids in foster care are offered adoption, they’re excited. Do you like living with Maria and Luis?”

“Yeah, they’re great. It’s just...” The last time someone offered to take you in as part of their family, it didn’t end well. It changed your life for the worst, you lost your only living family member left, and is the reason why you were here today. Although foster care isn’t that much different, you didn’t expect to stay with Maria and Luis past 18 years old.

“Rebuilding a sense of trust can be difficult after past traumas. But taking those necessary steps, of letting new people in your life, can help you over those humps.”

“Why don’t you get ready for volleyball practice? I’ll take you there when you’re ready,” Luis says as the three of you walked inside.

You nod silently and quickly hide in your room. You fall back on your bed that suddenly feels different than it did this morning. Like a reminder that it didn’t belong to you.

But maybe it could.

You get changed for volleyball in a pair of spandex and a t shirt. When you close the drawer, something falls on your dresser, catching your attention.

You pick up the fallen picture frame of you, John B, and the rest of the Pogues on Memorial Day Weekend. Kie had taken a selfie with all of you making silly faces at the camera in the middle of the marsh. That day always brings back amazing memories for you. Oh how you wished you could have another day like that.

You stare a little longer at John B in that photo. What would he say if he was with you right now? Would he say yes to Maria and Luis like he did to Ward? Or would he encourage you to be more careful about who you trust with your life?

Maria knocks on your door and says, “You ready, sweetheart?”

You place the frame back on the dresser and walk out into the hall to meet her. “Yes.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“So this couple....” John B says as he follows JJ off the ferry on the mainland.

“Maria and Luis,” JJ says. On the way here, he told John B everything. About how horrendous your life was after John B “died.” How Ward treated you like a prisoner. How you practically begged Cheryl to help you. How you ended up on the mainland with a lovely married couple.

“Are they...nice?”

JJ shrugs. “They seem like good people. You can tell they don’t like me around, but that might just be because they associate me with all the bad shit that happened to us because of Ward.”

“Does she like it here?” John B says as he takes in his new surroundings. As he and JJ walk towards your neighborhood, which isn’t too far from the ferry, he thinks about what your life could become here. Nice neighborhoods, friendly towns. It’s definitely better than the Cut. But it wasn’t home.

“She’s learning to, I think,” JJ answers honestly. “She doesn’t like being so far away from the Pogues.”

“Yeah, I can understand the feeling,” John B says. Although it was nice to have Sarah around while they were gone, he couldn’t help but feel like a giant chunk of his heart was missing. And that was the Pogues.

“This is it,” JJ says as they reach the end of a short driveway on the outskirts of town. A two story baby blue home with white shutters and a rose bush. Bigger than the houses on the Cut and smaller than the houses on Figure Eight.

“This is where she’s been staying?” John B asks. Something swarms inside his brain. He doesn’t know if it’s betrayal or jealousy.

“Yup,” JJ says, popping the ‘p’, “Her room is on the side.”

JJ knocks on the front door and looks down at his watch while he waits. Somehow, he managed to be about ten minutes early. Probably because of John B’s hustle to find his sister as soon as possible.

Luis opens the door with a friendly grin that quickly falters when he sees who accompanies JJ.

“Good Afternoon, Mr. Morales. Is Y/N, here?”

Luis looks between the boys and inhales a deep breath. He knows John B from the pictures on the News, the stories in the paper, and the cries of his name when Y/N was terrorized with nightmares in the beginning of her stay.

Although the adoption process just started, he and his wife felt like they were finally forming a family-like bond with Y/N. Dr. Hildegard suggested starting over would be in Y/N’s best interest, encouraging new friendships, joining extracurricular activities at school, staying away from the Outer Banks for a while. Luis and Maria made an exception for JJ, seeing how happy he truly made Y/N. But they never expected to see John B.

And he didn’t know what that meant for his family.

John B notices Luis’s hesitation and politely holds out his hand. “I’m John Booker Routledge. Y/N’s brother.”

Luis reluctantly shakes his hand, although apprehensive, never rude. He coughs awkwardly and looks back at JJ without saying a word to John B. “Tonight’s not a good night -”

“What do you mean? Sunday’s our day. She didn’t tell me she was busy -”

“I’m sorry, son. Maybe next week.” Luis shuts the door before JJ or John B could argue.

John B knocks again and even rings the doorbell. “Mr. Morales! Hey! Come back!”

“Here,” JJ pulls John B by his arm. “Come here.”

JJ and John B round to the side of the house where your window sits right under the middle point of the roof. JJ find’s the nearest and smallest rock and tosses it up at the glass of your window.

“What are you? Fucking, Romeo?” John B glares at his friend.

“You have a better idea?” JJ glares right back. “Trust me. I wouldn’t put it past Mr. Morales to call the cops if we kept banging on his door. They’re pretty protective of Y/N, which means they’ve never been truly fond of me.”

“Maybe she’s not here,” John B suggests.

“She’s always -”

JJ freezes when he hears a car pull into the driveway. They both look at each other before walking back to the front of the house. JJ notices Maria first when she steps out of the car. She has a smilier reaction to John B as her husband which makes John B bounce on his toes nervously.

You don’t see him at first, with your back turned to grab your bag. Then you spot him immediately.

You stiffen when you see both JJ and....your dead brother standing on the lawn. Suddenly your mouth feels dry and your heart is beating the crap out of your ribs.

“Y/N...” Maria says wearily.

“Hey, Dimples,” John B says with a smile, using the nickname he and your father use to call you when you were younger due to the deep pits in your cheeks when you smiled.

Your eyes shift to JJ who looks at you with pinched eye brows. He was expecting a different reaction. One where you run into your brother’s arms and squeeze the shit out of him in a tight hug.

But instead, you were feeling numb. You never expected to be face to face with your brother ever again. You convinced yourself he was really dead because holding onto hope that he was still alive was slowly killing you and even holding you back. You needed closure and that closure was accepting the truth that John B was dead and to never be found.

Yet, here he is. Standing and breathing and watching your reaction with a hurt expression.

“Y/N...” Maria says again and lightly touches your shoulder.

“I’m fine,” You finally speak, flinching at the way your throat feels scratchy. You swallow and turn to Maria and offer a polite grin. “I’ll be right in.”

“I don’t know...”

“Please, Maria,” You say, this time a tad more forceful but not rude.

Maria hesitantly nods and blocks herself away with the front door.

“I - I don’t - “ You huff. “How?”

“The Phantom...” John B licks his lips nervously. “Capsized...and Sarah and I...well...a shipment boat found us. Took us right to the Bahamas.”

“The Bahamas?” You repeat, taking two steps closer to him.

“Yes. There’s so much I have to tell you -”

“Like the part where you couldn’t call?” You say accusingly.

John B sighs. He should have expected it, but he didn’t prepare for it. He thought you’d be happy to see him, but now he’s realizing how hurt and confused he’s truly left you.

“It’s a long story -”

“Yeah, I’d expect the summary of your last few months to be a long one.” You look at JJ. “Did you know about this?”

JJ shakes his head. “He showed up on my way here.”

John B sighs. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t find a way to contact you, but we couldn’t! We didn’t want the cops realizing we were alive and we were looking for the gold -”

“The gold?” You laugh humorlessly and your hands run up your head to your scalp. Your fingers tug on the roots of your hair in frustration. “The gold’s gone!”

“It’s not! If you would just listen -”

“I don’t want to listen, John B! Because I don’t care about the gold. That gold took everything from me!” You yell as tears begin to build in your eyes, thinking back to what happened last summer. “I lost Dad, you, my home... I can only see my boyfriend once a week. And I was treated like a prisoner in the house of a murderer!”

“I know that it couldn’t have been easy for you but -”

“No. You have no idea what it was like for me when you were gone. Because you weren’t there!” You cry. “You left! You were living it up in the Bahamas, searching for gold, while the rest of us cried over your death and suffered the consequences!” Tears were now silently streaming down both John B’s cheeks and JJ’s as they watched you break down. “I couldn't sleep for weeks. I barely ate. Ward locked me in a room so I couldn’t tell anyone about what he did.”

“I’m sorry,” John B says. “I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you. Back home -”

“Home?” You scoff, shaking your head. “I have a home.”

“This isn’t your home,” John B says defensively.

“It has been. For the past few months. But you wouldn’t know that, would you?” You say with a glare. You look at the house behind him, noticing Maria and Luis snooping through the curtains of the window. You think back on what happened today and the options you had. At first it was a hard decision to make and now it’s damn right near impossible. “Maria and Luis offered to adopt me.” You say honestly.

John B inhales sharply and JJ furrows his brows.

“What?” John B says.

“I didn’t give them an answer yet. But this is an opportunity to start over.”

John B glares at you. “Think about your family!”

“I am!”

You suddenly feel exhausted and weak, like the day has lasted over twenty four hours. Your head begins to throb and your neck aches.

You sigh, “Look, I’m happy you’re all right and safe and unharmed, from the looks of it. But...I just need some time. Okay?”

“Y/N...”

“Please, John B?” You’re practically begging.

John B sighs and reluctantly nods his head at your request. At the end of the day, you owe him nothing and he owes you everything.

“Okay,” He agrees.

You walk past him without giving him a hug or anything, afraid you’ll break down in sobs and follow his lead back to the Outer Banks. But you need to be strong and figure out what it is you need in life, tired of following the path that always leaves you broken and alone.

You kiss JJ’s cheek as you walk by him. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

JJ squeezes your hand before you disappear into your house. When the door shuts behind you, you slid down it onto the floor, finally letting your sobs wrack through your body. Maria and Luis run to comfort you to the best of their ability, but they don’t know how to truly help you.

Later that night, over a cup of tea, you tell Maria and Luis everything. From start to finish. How your dad was obsessed with finding the Royal Merchant, to the compass, to Ward taking you in, finding out he murdered your father and covered up Sheriff Peterkin’s murder by using your own brother.

Maria and Luis glance at each other nervously. They know how important family is, which is why they want you a part of theirs so badly. But they never want to take you away from one you already have and love.

“I think you should think long and hard about what you want over the next couple of days,” Luis says. “And we’ll help you in any way we can.”

“I’m sorry,” You say, wiping away your tears with a napkin. “I know you didn’t sign up for this.”

“Honey,” Maria says, wiping another tear with her thumb. “We don’t want you to worry about that. This changes nothing for us, okay?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The next day at dinner, Maria and Luis sit you down and offer eager grins. Just like they did at your last therapy appointment.

“Y/N...we have something we’d like to discuss with you,” Luis says.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

With the help of JJ, you meet John B at the Wreck with the others for a civilized conversation. Now that you’ve had a few days to think and calm down, you’re able to really appreciate how lucky you are to have John B back in your life.

When you see him standing in the middle of the restaurant, you run to him and squeeze him around his waist as he wraps his arms around your shoulders. You cry into his T shirt, telling him how sorry you are for your outburst.

“It’s okay,” John B cries into your hair. “You don’t have to be sorry. I should be the one apologizing.”

You pull away and wipe away your tears. “I think we’ve both been through hell and back and did what he had to do to survive. Neither of us should apologize.”

After giving the other Pogues a hug, the five of you sit down and recap each other’s last three months. John B tells you about his time in the Bahamas, how Sarah is laying low until she gets her shit figured out with her own family, and you describe life at a new town and a new school.

“It’s weird. There’s no division. No Kooks vs. Pogues. I don’t know if I like it or miss my enemies,” You say.

When the five of you are ready to say your goodbyes, you pull John b aside and say, “Actually, I think there’s a couple of people I’d like you to meet.” John B furrows his brows and follows you to a park where Maria and Luis are waiting at a picnic table.

When they see the two of you approaching, they stand and reach out to shake John B’s hand, officially introducing themselves and apologizing for being rude a week ago.

“It’s okay. I understand,” John B says. “Thank you for taking care of my sister.”

“Pleasure’s all ours,” Luis smiles. “We’re lucky to be able to meet you.”

“Y/N’s told us such great things,” Maria adds.

You roll your eyes playfully and look at John B to read his face. He seems to be enjoying himself.

“That’s a first,” He even jokes and looks your way.

“There’s actually something we wanted to ask you,” Luis says and takes his wife’s hand like he did at Dr. Hildegard’s. He looks at you to see if you want to explain. “Y/N...”

You take a deep breath and face your brother. “I have agreed to be adopted by Maria and Luis.”

“But -”

“Let me finish,” You cut John B off. “We talked about it and the three of us are going to move back to the Outer Banks to be closer to you and the Pogues.”

“But...” Maria says like a song with an excited grin.

You mirror her smile and say, “But...Maria and Luis want to know if you would like to a be a part of their family too?”

John B’s brows jump up in surprise. “Seriously?”

“I know it’s a big decision,” Luis says.

“And if you need time, that’s fine,” You say. “But, I think this will be good for the both of us.”

John B looks between you and your foster parents, who he can tell care about you greatly. Of course he wants that too, but just like you were, he’s nervous.

“Are you sure about this?” He says softly as to not offend the couple in front of him.

“Yes,” You nod. “I’m sure.”

John B inhales a deep breath and nods. “Okay. I’m in.”

#jj maybank #jj x reader #jj maybank imagines #jj maybank x reader #outer banks imagine #john b routledge #obx imagine #routledge!reader

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yellowsuitcase · 3 years

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In the Prefect’s Bathroom Part 4 // Draco Malfoy

A/N: Guys!!! It's the FINAL part, yay!! I'm super proud of this and I think it's super cute and just AAHH I really hope y'all like it. Lemme know what you think of it and if you expected any of it. Thank you so much for reading, and Happy Thanksgiving (if you celebrate it)

Summary: Draco has been trying to get Y/N to talk to him since he confessed, but he hasn't had any luck. Until, he finds something she left in his dorm.

Warning(s): SMUT! Unprotected sex, lots of fluff, swearing, angst

Word Count: 5k

Masterlist & Taglist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Three weeks had gone by, and now Draco was on his bed, toying with the idea of giving up. Y/N had been avoiding him ever since that day he confessed. No matter how hard he tried to get her to warm back up to him, she kept her distance. He had tried everything. He'd sit next to her in class; she'd move seats. He'd wait outside the Gryffindor tower; she'd strut right past him. It seemed as nothing was working, so of course, he was getting a bit discouraged.

Just a couple days ago, the two of them had been in Charms class, and on his way out, Draco noticed that Y/N had dropped her book. This is my chance, he thought to himself. He quickly bent down to pick it up since he assumed she would've been already halfway down the corridor by the time he got back up. But when he arose from the floor, she was standing right in front of him. His heart pounded in his chest. Draco knew he had to stall for time, try and get her defenses to weaken. He turned the book over in his hands. "The Tales of Beedle and Bard," he read aloud. Y/N blushed and averted her eyes. He opened the cover and read the first few lines to himself.

There was once a kindly old wizard who used his magic generously and wisely for the benefit of his neighbours. Rather than reveal the true source of his power, he pretended that his potions, charms and antidotes sprang ready-made from the little cauldron he called his lucky cooking pot.

Draco shut the book and said, "I've actually never read them. My father didn't permit me to. Said it was written by a muggle lover. Supposedly he filed an official request to remove it from Hogwarts's shelves." Draco chuckled as he ran his finger along the spine of the light blue book. But his laughter died when he glanced up at Y/N. She looked rather upset, causing Draco to panic and quickly backtrack. "That isn't to say I don't want to read them now. I mean, I'm sure they're not as bad as Father thought they were," he sputtered. Y/N remained silent. "Perhaps... we could read them together, maybe?" he asked hopefully. He knew it was a shot in the dark, but he did it anyway. Draco hadn't heard Y/N's voice in weeks, and it was making him grow desperate.

Softly, she reached out her hand, and Draco held his breath. But then her fingers grasped the book, and the Slytherin felt his heart shatter. He cleared his throat, trying to push away the lump that had formed in it. His grip loosened, and Y/N pulled her book towards her chest. She didn't even look at him before she turned around and rushed down the hallway, leaving Draco feeling stranded, hopeless, and, quite frankly, stupid for even trying.

Since then, he hadn't put in nearly as much effort into rekindling their friendship. It was painfully obvious Y/N wanted nothing more to do with him, and as much as it hurt, Draco had to accept that. But that didn't stop his thoughts. It couldn't. Every night, he would lay awake, worrying. Worrying about Y/N's wellbeing. Was she happy? Did she make any new friends?

Did she still feel alone?

Draco didn't know. From the little he'd seen of her, he assumed she was alright. He hoped she was. But he had no real way of knowing. He had tried reaching out to her roommate multiple times, but all Stephanie would tell him was that she thought Y/N seemed fine, just a bit quiet. That answer never sat well with him. During those few weeks, before he confessed, he had learned so much about Y/N. One of those things being that she was not quiet. She had talked his ear off many times, telling him funny stories from her childhood. Like how, after one of their study sessions, she told him about the time she had made her pet fish turn yellow just by looking at it. Draco remembered that day clearly.

"My mum was terrified! One moment my fish was blue and the next he was yellow! I mean, imagine that." Y/N laughed. Draco shook his head in disbelief. "Sounds like you were quite the little mischief-maker," he replied as he twirled his wand between his fingers, it was becoming a bit of a habit. Y/N continued giggling, kicking her legs as she did so. "You should've seen the look on my dad's face when he got home. That was the day he sat her and me down and told us he was a wizard. My poor mum. She had no idea."

Draco sat up in shock. "Wait, wait, you're a half-blood?" he asked, eyes wide. Y/N cocked an eyebrow. "Is that a problem, Malfoy?" she questioned as she began to sit up. Her tone was somewhat threatening. Draco raised his hands to show his lack of ill intention. "No, no. I was just surprised," he quickly explained. Y/N chuckled and waved her hand towards him. "Relax, I'm only playing with you," she assured him. Her words piqued Draco's interest. He wiggled his eyebrows and licked his lips, staring suggestively into her eyes. "Well, I'd sure like to play with you," he husked. Y/N gasped loudly and swiftly removed the pillow from behind her back and chucked it at the blonde boy sitting across from her. "Draco!" she screeched. "Joking!" he mumbled. "Just joking...unless."

Y/N crossed her arms, and obnoxiously shook her head while clicking her tongue disapprovingly. Draco snickered before throwing the pillow back at her, making her giggle. His heart skipped a beat as he watched her eyes twinkle. She looked unreal to Draco, ethereal almost. However, he was torn from his trance by her continuing the story. "Anyways, as I was saying, my lovely mum had the shock of her life. I was surprised as well. I mean, I had just found out I was a bloody witch. Although I was much more delighted than she was. Come to think of it, she might've cried," Y/N said with a small frown. "Wow..." Draco muttered. "But what does she think of it now? What with you being at Hogwarts and all."

Y/N hummed to herself, recalling that last time she and her mother spoke about Hogwarts. "Well, I think she thinks it's a bit surreal, you know? She always imagined I'd graduate and go off to university to become a doctor or something, but here I am at a school for wizards and witches," she said while gesturing to the castle walls around her. Draco nodded although he was a bit confused. "She just doesn't understand, right?" he asked. Y/N pursed her lips. "I think she will, with time. Maybe I can introduce her to you and your family. Now that would be really fun," she suggested with a mischievous glint in her eye. Draco furrowed his eyebrows. "And why is that?" he questioned, staring at the giggling girl. "Just imagine me introducing you. I'd say, hey mum, this is my best friend and his wizard parents who dress like they're going to a funeral every single day. Oh, and they also own a mansion in the countryside because they're rolling in galleons!" Y/N bellowed, nearly falling over as she clutched her stomach, erupting in laughter.

Draco would've berated her for the slander towards his parents, but his mind was fixated on three words, "My best friend." He waited until Y/N ceased laughing before asking her, "I'm your best friend?" She looked at him as if he had grown a second head. "Well, duh, you're my only friend, Draco." The Slytherin did his best to hide his blush as he looked to the floor. "You're mine too," he mumbled. But Y/N didn't hear.

Draco sighed as he sat on his bed. He missed her. He wished so badly that she'd walk through his door. But she wouldn't, and he knew that. Slowly, he pushed himself off the green covered mattress and walked over to his wooden desk. A piece of parchment was already on top of it, so he took a seat, and he reached for his ink bottle and quill. His nimble fingers unscrewed the cap, and he dipped the point inside it, drenching it in black liquid. He'd written letters to Y/N many times, but every time he finished one, he'd get scared and chuck it into the bin. Draco knew he'd probably do the same tonight, but he wanted to try. So he pressed his quill to the paper and began.

"Dear Y/N, I hope you are doing well. I'm writing to you to give you my apologies. I should've known better than to confess my feelings for you at such a time. I really hope..." he stilled his hand, not knowing what to say next. His head was reeling as different thoughts and feelings flooded his brain, none of which he knew how to convey in words. She made him so dizzy. But, ever persistent, Draco started again.

"Dear Y/N, Are you doing well? I truly hope that you are. I write to you to tell you that I'm sorry for everything. I said and did so many foolish things that day, and if I could take all of them back, I swear, I would. I know I must've frightened you that day, but Y/N, I fear you don't know how much I miss you. I've never felt this empty before. But I know it's because you're not here. I need you..." Draco, in his frustrated haze, crossed out the last line and crumbled the parchment in his fist. He then tossed it across the room, watching as it hit the wall next to his door, and bounced on the foot of his brass coat rack. He stared at it, thinking about donning his coat and taking a walk around campus. But then, he noticed something underneath. He jumped to his feet and rushed over to the rack. Curious, he lifted his black coat off the hook to reveal a brown cardigan underneath. His chest tightened; it was Y/N's. She must've left it in his room after one of their study sessions. Come to think of it, it was probably from the night before Draco confessed.

Hesitantly, the boy reached out and touched his fingers to the cardigan. It was soft. He lifted it up and held it in his hands, letting his emotions settle. Then, he brought it to his nose, breathing in deeply. It still smelled of her: apples, hazelnut, and cinnamon. Draco felt tears begin to gather in his eyes, but he hastily blinked them away. With care, he hung the cardigan back up and retreated to his desk. He got seated, pulled out a new sheet of parchment, and began writing for the third time that night.

------------

Dear Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you well. I'm writing to you to inform you that I've discovered your cardigan in my room. The brown one that is. I suppose you left it after our last study session. I can return it to you tomorrow morning at breakfast, or if you'd prefer, you can fetch it tonight. The current password to the Slytherin common room is Jobberknoll. Hopefully, you remember where my bedroom is, but should you have forgotten, it's at the very top of the stairway on your left. Please knock three times before entering.

There's no need to send an owl with your reply. Just make sure to come before 9:30. If you don't, I'll assume you wish to receive the cardigan at breakfast, in which case, I shall wait for you by the door.

Draco

Y/N clutched the parchment tightly in her hands. She had been scared half to death when an owl landed right beside her while she was sitting by the open windows. But now, she was more afraid of getting her cardigan back. She glanced around her room frantically, as if she'd find an answer to her dilemma upon the walls. Her eyes then drifted back to the parchment in her hands. She looked at where Draco had signed his name. Above it was a dark scribble as if he had scratched something out. What did he write there? It was probably just 'sincerely,' but what if it was something else. What if it was 'with love'? Y/N wondered. She closed her eyes; she needed to calm down. There was no way she'd be able to make a rational decision with such thoughts running through her brain.

But Y/N had nobody to consult, nobody to refer to. Ever since she'd pushed Draco away that day, she'd been alone. Her roommate spoke to her on occasion, but only about school-related things. Almost the entirety of her house had shunned her. And the whole school knew what she did, so making friends had proven to be difficult. But because of this, Y/N had been able to do a lot of thinking. Truthfully, she missed Draco. She hated herself for rejecting him that day. She hated herself because she liked him. The only reason she had rejected him was that she knew she wasn't ready for another relationship. And on top of that, she didn't think she deserved one. Draco wasn't someone she deserved, not in her mind.

But here she was, being forced to make a decision. Should she just wait until tomorrow, or should she go to his room? Her brain was telling her to wait until tomorrow; that way, she could take the cardigan, thank him, and be on her merry way. But her heart screamed at her to go to him. Go to him, confess to him, bring him back into her life. Y/N glanced at the clock; it was nearly nine. "Fuck," she muttered before pushing off the window seat; her loneliness had gotten the best of her.

She rushed towards her closet and flung the doors open. Her eyes scanned the array of clothing for a few moments before she pulled out her favorite pair of light grey sweatpants along with her pale green crewneck. She threw them on and tucked her wand into her pocket. Then she checked herself in the mirror. Her hair was already pulled back, and she had light mascara on. It was good enough, in her opinion, so she slipped on her shoes and turned her doorknob with a shaky hand.

--------

Draco was sitting in his armchair with a blue book in his hands when he heard three distinct knocks at his door. His breathing began to hasten; surely, it couldn't be... Only one way to find out. "Come in!" he called. The door swung open to reveal Y/N. She looked nervous as all hell but nevertheless, stepped inside his room and closed the door behind her. Neither of them said anything. They simply stared at one another. But luckily, Draco came to his senses. "Right, your cardigan," he said as he dropped his book and stood up. He grabbed the cardigan off the back of his chair and walked over to her, holding out the garment. "Here you are." Y/N took it into her hands and examined it. "Thank you, I thought it was lost forever," she told him with a smile. Draco faltered for a moment. He'd forgotten how sweet her voice was. But then he nodded, and the awkward silence returned. It hung in the air for a few moments before it was broken by the two of them simultaneously blurting out, "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry, Y/N," Draco insisted while shifting his eyes to the floor. "I acted like a fool that day a-and I frightened you, and I made you so overwhelmed. I should've known better, and I am so sorry...I've missed you so much," he said, whispering his last few words. Eventually, he found the courage to look up, and when he did, he saw that Y/N was crying. His heart clenched, and he felt regret pool in his gut. But before he could apologize again, Y/N spoke up.

"I've missed you too, Draco. And I'm not sorry I rejected you that day, I'm sorry that I kicked you out of my life. I thought I was protecting myself because I just knew I would've gone back on my decision if I had let you stay. I liked you too, I still do, but I just wasn't ready. You're too good to be true. I don't deserve a second chance; I don't deserve you. But you didn't deserve to be shut out, and I really hope you can forgive—"

Y/N was cut off by Draco smashing his lips against hers. He held her face in his hands as she gasped, allowing him to sneak his tongue out and run it along her lower lip. She moaned into his mouth as he started to nibble. His hands traveled downwards until they settled on her hips. He pulled her closer and groaned when his hips touched hers. God, how he had missed this. Then, Y/N reached up and ran her hands through his hair, successfully messing it up. Draco knew he wanted more but pulled away from her lips. She breathed heavily and looked into his eyes, puzzled as to why he stopped.

"You're mine...right?" Draco asked anxiously. Y/N smiled and pulled him close for another soft kiss. "I'm yours," she whispered. Draco kissed her again, and she eagerly returned it. Hesitantly, Draco sneaked his hand underneath her shirt, merely letting it sit there against her hot skin as he slipped his tongue into her mouth again. Then, he began to slide his hand up her torso, all while paying attention to her reactions. She seemed to be kissing him harder as he gently ran his thumb along the underside of her breast. He took that as a sign he was doing good, so he placed his hand on top of it and squeezed. Y/N let out a loud moan and pulled away from the kiss. "Draco, please," she whined. He snickered as he studied her pleading face. "What do you need, princess?" he asked in a sultry voice. Y/N squirmed and continued to whine. Draco clicked his tongue. "Always so scared to tell me what you want. There's no need to be embarrassed. I'll give you whatever you want. I just need you to tell me," he reminded her gently. She bit her lip and stared at the floor before finally answering.

"I wanna have sex with you," she whispered. Her face was crimson. Draco felt his heart squeeze; she was too cute. He put his hand underneath her chin and tilted it upwards. A gentle kiss was planted on her lips. "I wanna have sex with you too, darling," he murmured. Y/N couldn't hide her smile as she swiftly took his hand and led him to the bed. Draco smirked and, with sneaky hands, pushed her onto the bed, making her squeal. "Draco!" she yelled with her back now pressed against the mattress. The Slytherin wasted no time; he jumped on top of her while mimicking a roar, causing Y/N to burst into laughter. Her laugh was music to his ears.

Draco tugged her shirt up and off her body, throwing it to the floor. His hands immediately traveled to her back where he unclasped her bra, throwing that away too. Draco felt his dick twitch in his pants upon seeing her nipples harden in the cold air. He leaned down and latched his lips onto one of them while twisting the other between his fingers. Y/N's gasp sent a shiver down his spine, and he sucked her even harder.

"Draco..." she moaned. Draco let go of her tits and sat up, admiring her flushed face. Then Y/N suddenly sat up and grasped the bottom of his shirt and proceeded to yank it off him. Draco only watched as she did this. Her hands then traveled to his pants. She unzipped him and pushed his waistband down, exposing his briefs. He helped her out by maneuvering himself off his knees so that he could kick his pants off.

Once the pants joined the rest of the clothes, Y/N reached for the top of his underwear. But before she could go any further, Draco stopped her. She looked at him, confused as to why he wouldn't want her to touch him. "Tonight is about you, darling. Lie back for me now," Draco instructed. Y/N's face turned red, but she did as she was told and lowered her body onto the bed. Draco's hands grasped her pants, and he slowly pulled them down, stopping to press kisses to her thighs as he went. They were both in only their underwear now, and he could see Y/N was getting impatient. "Speak princess, what do you want?" Draco asked. Y/N pressed her thighs together and rolled her hips a bit before she spoke. "Finger me, please," she begged. Draco smiled at her and immediately pressed his fingers to her pussy, still covered by her panties.

"So polite," he purred as he gently rubbed her clit through her underwear. She closed her eyes and hummed in pleasure. "That feel good, princess?" Draco asked. Y/N nodded and opened her mouth to reply, but a long moan quickly replaced the words on her tongue as Draco applied more pressure to her nub. He continued to swirl his finger around it for a couple minutes, then he slid a different finger past her panties and slowly pushed it inside, feeling her thighs clench as he did so. "So tight," he mumbled before leaning down and giving her a sweet kiss. The intrusion of another finger caused her to gasp into his mouth. Draco groaned and pressed down on her clit, making her hips jump.

"Did you miss this? Did you miss my fingers inside you and my kisses on your body?" he questioned as he thrusted into her. Y/N clenched her walls around his digits and nodded eagerly. "So much. So fucking much," she mewled. Draco added another finger and increased his pace. He noticed Y/N's breathing beginning to get quicker, and he knew she was close. So he finger-fucked her hole for a minute more before withdrawing his hand. Y/N cried out in frustration and glared at him angrily. "Why did you do that?" she whined.

But then, without warning, Draco lifted up her shirt and pressed his lips to her soft stomach, blowing a raspberry onto it. Y/N instantly screamed and wiggled violently underneath him. "STOP, STOP!" she shrieked, trying to get away as her giggles became uncontrollable. Eventually, Draco took mercy on her and ceased his torment. He leaned up to see Y/N was out of breath, and her hair was a mess. "Quit playing games and put your dick inside me, you twat," she ordered. Draco's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "If you say so," he muttered, taking his cock out of his underwear. Y/N's eyes widened, but before she could say or do anything, Draco slid all the way inside her, burying his dick in her pussy. "Ohhh, fuck," she moaned. Draco grunted as he adjusted to the tightness of her hole. He had the instinct to begin slamming into her, but he controlled his urges and allowed her body to adapt to him as he positioned his hands next to her head.

Y/N's walls clenched around him, and she bucked her hips. "Move, please," she pleaded softly. "As you wish," Draco said as he slowly pulled himself out and thrusted back in, setting a slow but consistent pace. Y/N let out quiet mewls as he moved in and out. Her legs found their way to his waist, and they quickly wrapped around it. This pulled him closer and forced his dick deeper inside her. "Fuck," Draco moaned as he leaned down for a kiss while continuing to thrust. Y/N hummed into his mouth and flicked her tongue against his. "Shit, you feel so good," she purred. Draco's cock twitched at her words, and he increased his pace. A harsh grunt escaped him as Y/N reached up and dug her nails into his back. "You're so gorgeous, Y/N," he breathed. "So goddamn gorgeous."

Suddenly, Draco's sensual thrusts were halted by Y/N calling his name. "Yes, darling?" he replied. "You can be rough, I don't mind," she told him gently. Draco smiled down at her and pressed quick kisses along her jaw. "I know, but I can do that another night. Right now," he angled his head so that his lips were by her ear, "I'm making love to you," he whispered, feeling her shudder beneath him.

Y/N's eyes grew soft, and she moved her hands to his face. "You're perfect," she mumbled before pulling his lips to hers, where they shared a passionate kiss. "So perfect." Draco started to thrust again, resuming his slower pace. The force of his cock rocked the couple back and forth on the plush pillows. But then, he had an idea.

He moved his hands from their spot beside Y/N's head, slid them underneath her back, and lifted her up. "Shit," she cursed as she was now on Draco's lap, his dick still buried deep inside her. Slowly, Draco raised her off him and turned her around so that her back was facing him. He then repositioned her hips above his cock and gently lowered her onto it. "Ohhh," she moaned as she once again became full. She was about to lift herself up and fuck herself on his dick, but Draco's hands stopped her. He pushed her legs wide and placed his hand over her pussy. This didn't please Y/N. She started to squirm and buck her hips forward, causing Draco to groan as she stimulated his cock. "Stay still, princess. I'll take care of you," he assured her. His fingers pressed against her heat and slowly spread the upper lips, exposing her clit. With his other hand, he touched his fingers to her nub and slowly began to circle it. Y/N's head fell back onto his shoulder, and a long, deep groan escaped her throat.

"Oh my god," she whimpered as her breathing became ragged. Draco's hands never stopped or stuttered, not even when Y/N's walls squeezed him tight. He just kept rubbing and rubbing; her soft pants sounded like heaven to him. Suddenly, Y/N's thighs began to tense. "Draco, fuck, I'm close," she muttered. Draco turned his head and once again hovered his lips next to her ear. "Cum on me. Cum with me buried inside you," he ordered. Y/N gasped and rolled her head on his shoulder. He could tell she was almost there. "Oh, god. Fuck, fuck, fuck, just a little more," she begged.

Draco kept circling her clit until finally, she inhaled sharply, and her walls clenched him hard. His finger didn't stop; it continued to rub her throughout her high. It only ceased when Draco felt her body jolt from overstimulation. He then pushed her forward onto her hands and knees and began pounding into her, chasing his own climax. The sounds of skin slapping combined with the tightness of Y/N's pussy lit a fire in Draco's abdomen, and soon, he was pushed over the edge. "Cumming," he warned her before he released inside Y/N with a deep groan. The couple remained in that position for a good minute, breathing heavily. Then Draco pulled himself out and laughed as Y/N immediately collapsed face-first onto his bed. He gently flipped her over and kissed her cheek. "You alright, darling?" he asked. She smiled and turned to him. Then, without thinking, she blurted, "I think I love you." Immediately, Y/N slapped her hand over her mouth. But Draco only grinned and said, "I love you too, Y/N."

She lowered her hand and averted her eyes as blush filled her cheeks. "Draco, are we..." she trailed off, looking apprehensive. "Boyfriend and girlfriend?" he asked. Y/N nodded. "I'd love to be your boyfriend, darling," he said sweetly. In less than a second, Draco was attacked by a forceful hug from Y/N. He wrapped his arms around her still naked body and held her close, breathing in her scent: apples, hazelnut, and cinnamon.

"Thank you for not giving up on me," she said softly. "I don't know what I would've done with myself if you had just stopped caring one day," Y/N confessed. Draco gently pulled away from the hug and cradled his girlfriend's face in his hands. "I never would've stopped caring. Y/N you were all I thought about," he assured her. He watched as her tears began to fall from her eyes. "Don't cry, sweetheart, I'm here now; I've got you. There's no need to cry," he said sweetly, trying to comfort her. But Y/N kept on crying, so he dragged a blanket over his lap and pulled her on top of it. "Look at me, darling," he instructed lightly. She rubbed her tears away with her arm and looked into Draco's eyes.

"I love you. I love you so much. Do not waste your tears on the mistakes of the past. All that matters is that I've got you, and you've got me. Alright?" Y/N continued to wipe her tears and nodded. "Alright. I love you too," she replied.

Draco pressed a quick kiss to her forehead, slid her off his lap, and stood up from the bed. He grabbed some tissues and cleaned himself off before doing the same for Y/N. Then he pulled on his underwear and tossed Y/N hers. As she was getting dressed, Draco strode over to his armchair. In the seat of it sat a small blue book. He picked it up and took it with him as he went back to bed. Y/N was already under the covers; she looked at him quizzically when she noticed the object in his hand. Her mouth opened to speak, but Draco quickly shushed her. He slid under the covers and cozied up next to Y/N. Then, he cracked open the book, cleared his throat, and began to read.

"There was once a kindly old wizard who used his magic generously and wisely for the benefit of his neighbours. Rather than reveal the true source of his power, he pretended that his potions, charms and antidotes sprang ready-made from the little cauldron he called his lucky cooking pot."

The End

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shuahoonie · 3 years

Text

out of love [tom holland]

PAIRING: tom holland x female!reader

SUMMARY: being close friends with your ex is fine, right? even if your love for them was unparalleled among others. even if you were still in the process of moving on from them. even if you know they’re happy with someone else. even if you have no clue whether they loved you like you loved them.

WARNINGS: foul language, so much angst, it starts ok at first then goes downhill from there. i literally write things on the go so i don’t know if this will have fluff at some point

(if it does and i didn’t state it here, send me a cute photo of tom and a message of: ok wow she pulled thru 🤪; and if it doesn’t have fluff, send me a meme and a message of: miss girl i simply cannot today ✋😃)

WORD COUNT: 5.6k

A/N: hello! tonight, we are going to be sad!!! i know i usually like to write about all things fluff, but this?? this is just for me because i am having one of those episodes. i just need to feel something again aside from the stress of writing 3 academic papers per week lmao. i’m def not expecting people to like this type of vibe but yannoe. i apologize in advance.

this is inspired by that one episode from new girl (season 6 x ep 16)

gif credits: @thollandgifs

vanessa’s masterlist | taglist form | part two - pandemonium

“You know, you can still live with us right?” Your friend Maia commented as she placed the box, labelled “fine china that mom gave me but will i ever use them?”, on the kitchen island.

“I know,” You murmured dropping the heavy case of pots and pans on the floor. “But maybe living alone will be good for me.” You replied, forcing a smile. “Besides, I don’t want to int—“

“Hey, Y/N, where do you want this?” Harrison asked as he held out a box that’s labelled with “books that my grandpa passed on. HANDLE WITH CARE!”

“Oh, just set it down on the living room—“ before you could even finish, Harrison dropped the box on the floor as if it was nothing. “Harrison!” You hissed, as you quickly rushed to check on the box.

“Y/N, babe, they’re just books. Surely they can withstand any amount of pressure, yeah?” Haz tried to reassure you.

“Haz, those books are from my grandpa—which I’m sure he got from his grandpa.” You sighed. “They’re really old and fragile, so I just want them to be in a well enough condition to stand in my bookcase.”

“‘m sorry,” He murmured, rubbing the back of his head. “It’s just, why do you have to move out?” Harrison asked, frustrated at the whole thing.

“Like I told Maia, maybe having my own place will be good for me.” You replied calmly, as you neatly put the box filled with your grandpa’s books in the corner room—the initial place where you want to build your bookcase. “It’s been a while since I’ve lived on my own.”

“Yeah,” Harrison acknowledged “But there’s absolutely no reason for you to move out. You can’t possibly leave me with her!” He pointed at Maia who let out an audible gasp. Harrison was being dramatic of course.

“Haz—“ You were trying to fight off a laugh. “You two are my constants and if I became dependant on having you two at my convenience, it’s going to be a huge problem.”

“In my opinion, I don’t see it as a problem.” Maia pointed out childishly. You shook your head in disbelief. You had to move out because you miss having a place to yourself— a place where you can be at your complete worst and you don’t have to think about your friends worrying about you.

Besides, moving out means you don’t have to see Tom that often and that was a bonus in your book. It wasn’t a sour breakup per se, it’s just really difficult to feel happy for your ex when he practically showcases how different he is now with his girlfriend.

You prided yourself as a mature and well-rounded person who could be complete friends with her ex as if that’s normal. You could only keep the façade for so long.

Four months. It’s been four months since you and Tom broke up. You lived with Maia soon after the breakup and that enough was a blessing. Maia couldn’t bear to handle the fact that you would be alone at a time like this. Harrison usually crashes at Maia’s so he was bound to move in with you two. In fact, he was always there more often than you.

That was the point where you were convinced that Harrison liked Maia and that Maia liked Harrison.

Conveniently, you and Tom never ‘officially’ moved in together so you could avoid him freely at all costs.

Of course, that was eventually going to end soon. You and Tom were in the same friend group so you were bound to see each other, much to your dismay. You couldn’t exactly make Harrison and Maia pick friends because it’s not fair for anyone.

You were all friends before you and Tom decided to date. Maybe that’s why people say to never date a friend—especially if they’re near and dear.

You were coming back from work when you found people in the living room, and as if the universe really wanted to test you, it was the least likely people you’d expect to see.

“Y/N!” Maia’s voice was pure panic. “I didn’t know you’d be home this early.”

Your eyes quickly flickered between the two people standing across you before you diverted your attention to Maia. “Uh—yeah. There wasn’t really much to do in the office so I came home early.”

Maia turned to Harrison who was equally lost on how to handle the situation. I mean, who wouldn’t?! What were you supposed to do when your friend drops in unannounced with their new girlfriend and to makes the matters worse, your other friend—whom your friend dated before— decides to come home early?

You didn’t know how what kind of spirit took over your body that prompted you to extend your hand to the girl sitting beside your ex and say: “Hello, I’m Y/N.”

The girl looked surprised but shook your hand in return. “Nadine,” Nadine smiled slyly “I—um, I’m Tom’s girlfriend.”

Tom looked mildly uncomfortable but you chose to ignore it. You were becoming good at that—ignoring Tom.

You returned the smile at Nadine. You could feel the burning stares from your friends, mostly Maia. You cleared your throat and said, “I’ll just be in my room to finish the papers I need to send to my editor if you’ll excuse me.”

Before you left completely, you gave Nadine another smile and said, “It’s nice to meet you again, Nadine.”

You don’t remember how you got to your room but that was the least of your concern. You were just undeniably overwhelmed with what just happened that you didn’t even notice that there was a knock on your door.

When you opened the door, it was the last person you expected to see standing in your doorframe.

“Can we talk?” Tom asked in almost a whisper.

You gave him a half shrug and opened the door slightly wider for him.

“We’re okay, right?” He asked, looking at you in the eye.

At this point, you convinced yourself that you were numb. You never talked about the breakup. You never overtly said anything about what you felt. You felt empty. You convinced yourself that you were empty.

You stared back at Tom and without missing a beat, you replied “Of course. Why shouldn’t we?”

“Just admit that you two will miss me,” You teased, grabbing another box from Maia.

“Only if you admit that you’re moving out for an entirely different reason,” Maia whispered carefully as her eyes flickered towards Tom who was also helping with your move out.

You pressed your lips together and acted like he wasn’t even there. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You said, you know, like a liar.

You weren’t a vocal person. The idea of talking about your feelings was really difficult for you so you try your best to avoid it. Actually, it’s worse than that. You’d go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation.

Obviously, it wasn’t healthy. You would always distance yourself whenever you feel emotionally exhausted, and you really meant that distance. It wasn’t bad at first—maybe a day or two was all you needed before you felt comfortable enough to be around people again.

Then it became worse when you were in university. You were beyond unreachable. Aside from being emotionally exhausted, you were mentally drained too. You were always buried with papers and readings which was unavoidable but it took a huge toll on you. So whenever you get a chance to get a break, you completely shut off from people.

Your friends definitely noticed it and they tried their best to help.

Tom was among the people who definitely went out of their way to help you. He would always drop by at your dorm with food or coffee—he would literally just drop them off, most of the time. He would leave small notes that up to this day, you still kept and tucked away in a box.

Both Maia and Harrison followed Tom’s approach. They would all alternate on who’s dropping what and when. Some days, Maia would drop off a new skincare product she’s been using or a lovely box of macarons from your favourite patisserie.

On other days, Harrison would drop off some of his home-cooked meals or maybe a book he saw from a local bookstore—a book that reminded him of you.

Tom was very persistent though. He would sometimes wait out on the hall, just so he could see you and reassure himself (and your friends) that you were okay.

You found it taxing at first—you would often try your best to match the energy from your friends, which only left you exhausted at the end of the day. You wanted space and you clearly weren’t getting that from Tom. You did acknowledge that he only did it out of pure concern.

You often wondered why he did that, staying, but you didn’t ask him. You never did.

Maybe you were afraid that you’d come off as rude or that you’d seem ungrateful for dismissing someone when they’ve clearly taken the time off their day just to check on you.

However, every time you’d open that door, it always seemed that Tom would breathe a huge sigh of relief when you lock eyes. Even if it was just for a quick second. You wondered about that too.

Tom wasn’t really being intrusive. Most of the time, he will leave a few minutes after you’d open the door to get the things your friends would drop off. You’d always ask him if he wants to stay inside for a bit, but he’d always decline.

Except for that one time, though. That one time that you knew you were going to fall in love.

It was the week of midterms and deadlines. You were knee-deep with papers from different classes that demanded to be finished that week, one of which was a research paper that practically tied you to your laptop and made you consume an unhealthy amount of caffeine.

It wasn’t until 2 am when you were about to go on a quick drive to a McDonald’s but saw Tom dozed off in the hallway, his back pressed against the wall.

“Tom,” You shook him gently, trying not to startle him. “Tom, wake up.”

His eyes slowly fluttered open, seemingly disoriented at first but would soon fall into the warm familiarity that your face always brings.

“Why are you sleeping in the hall?” You asked quietly, careful not to make a fuss. The walls in your dorm were very thin and you learned that the hard way. You’d think they’d put a disclaimer about that in the lease when you’re housing a bunch of university students with raging sex drives.

It took Tom a minute to fully comprehend the question, seeing that the bright fluorescent light was being harsh on him and that he’s generally like that when being jolted awake.

“Oh, erm, I—” Tom was finding the right words to use. He can’t exactly exclaim ‘I’ve been worried sick about you!’ out of nowhere. Instead he said, “I was waiting for you to open the door, just to see if you’re alright.”

“All night?”

Tom scratched the back of his neck. “It seemed that way, yeah.” He muttered sheepishly.

You were dumbfounded. Surely this was the first time someone actually fell asleep outside your door, waiting for you to come out. It was sweet but highly unnecessary.

“I was just about to head out and get some McDonald’s, do you wanna come with?” You asked, giving him a hand to hoist himself up.

“I should get going—“

“Have you eaten yet?” You asked cutting him off, taking Tom by surprise. He shook his head no. “Then you should really come.” You said, jingling your car keys in front of him.

Tom was debating whether or not to go with you. It’s been a while since you hung out, but that was the same case for everyone. None of your friends have properly hung out with you ever since the semester started.

Tom should say yes, right?

“Let’s go, Tommy,” You said as you grabbed his hand and dragged him across the hall. “I’ve been staring at my laptop all day and I really need some unhealthy food to balance out the concerning amount of caffeine I’ve consumed.”

“Is that why you’re practically bouncing off the walls?” Tom asked amused, trying to keep up with your pace with your hand holding his.

“Totally,” You grinned at him. “I need to wear out the caffeine or else, I’d have to skip my morning class again.”

“French?”

You nodded. “They’re counting the amount of absences in that class and I really need to keep my shit together.”

“‘m not exactly sure why you took that as an elective,” Tom commented, properly wrapping his hand around yours with fingers interlacing each other.

You tried to ignore it, you really did, but the warm feeling that settled around your stomach drove you crazy.

“Why not? I think it’s cool to learn another language.” You nudged him playfully which he gladly returned.

“I know and trust me, I’m in awe that you’re learning another language! erm—I guess it’s just I feel like you’re overworking yourself too much.” Tom pointed out softly, hoping he didn’t come off as rude or intrusive.

“Eh, I don’t mind.” You replied “It’s what drives me to keep going and for me that’s more than enough. Even if it leaves me little to no sleep, even if it takes too much of my time—it’s enough reason for me to do it.”

Tom stared at you in admiration as soon as those words slipped out your mouth and you didn’t even notice it. You were walking towards the student parking lot, consumed by the twinkling lights from the neighbouring lanes near campus.

Maybe if you weren’t busy consuming the quiet campus grounds, you’d notice the very first time Tom fell in love with you.

“Besides, I know a phrase in french now.”

“Hm—and what’s that, then?”

“Je ne suis pas l’escargot”

“L’escargot? Isn’t that—“

“I am not a snail,” You giggled. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?”

Tom laughed, “I supposed so.”

Maybe if you weren’t so afraid of confrontation, you’d have an idea of when Tom knew that you were his person.

See, the thing is— you needed to face reality sooner or later and both your friends could see right through it.

“Honestly, Y/N, how on earth can your box of art materials be this heavy—” Tom appeared in front of the door frame, heaving as he carried the box from two flights of stairs.

You quickly averted your gaze from Maia, who was staring at you expectantly, and cleared your throat. “You can just set them by the door, Tom. I don’t know where to put them yet.” You said as you tried your best to act normal.

“You sure? They’re a tad heavy and I don’t want you to strain yourself.” Tom asked with furrowed brows.

All you could do was nod. The last thing you wanted was Tom’s focused attention on you.

“If you say so,” Tom sighed in defeat “I’m going to grab more boxes—Baby, you don’t have to carry that!” Tom was quick to disappear as he urgently dashed towards his girlfriend, Nadine.

“Oh, but I want to help, Tommy.” You heard Nadine say sweetly, assuming she was also pouting.

You could see Maia roll her eyes, urging you to give her a nudge and a taunting look. “Maia,” you called her out, silently pleading her to stop.

Maia settled down but she wasn’t exactly calm about it either. “I’m still not sure why she’s here.” She murmured. You and Harrison were close enough that you can hear her rambles—which was expected from her anyway.

Maia and Nadine go way back—like toddlers and playgrounds kind of way. Though that sounds figuratively adorable in a way, Maia and Nadine never got along.

Nadine used to date Maia’s brother, which already caused Maia a great demise. As one could expect, the relationship didn’t end well. She left him out of nowhere, saying she needs to find herself—or something along those lines.

A week after the breakup, what Nadine found was herself in the arms of another man. Of course, Maia’s brother was devastated—He truly loved Nadine. Maia had to be the pillar that her brother leaned on. It took Maia a great amount of time to help her brother pick up the pieces that Nadine left.

So yeah—Maia wasn’t thrilled when she heard that Tom was Nadine’s new boyfriend.

“She offered to help, Mai,” You whispered “Who am I to deny help?”

Maia looked at you as if you managed to empty your head while you were moving in between flats. “She’s been after me ever since we were kids. She’s also the reason why it took my brother months to get out of bed,” Maia deadpanned “and She’s Tom’s new girlfriend. Remember Tom? Your ex?” She said rather loudly.

You gave her a tiny pinch on her arm, causing her to yelp. “Maia, are you nuts?!”

Harrison left the two of you so he could grab more boxes, while you and Maia bickered silently amongst each other.

“You are thicker than I thought—Seriously, Y/N. Quit pinching me!” Maia aggressively rubbed her arm.

“They’re going to hear you!” You hissed. “The last thing I want is for those two to get involved.”

“Babe, they’re already involved. Tom, especially.” Maia remarked. “I see the way you look at Tom. I also see the pain you feel whenever he’s with she who must not be named.”

“I’m not doing this Maia,” you mumbled as you walked past her. Your objective was now to help Harrison with the remaining boxes. Your objective was anything but to talk about you and Tom.

“You have to face it sooner or later, Y/N.” Maia called out “I’m not leaving you or this apartment until you tell me what really happened.”

“What’s going on?” Harrison asked as he entered the apartment, carrying three sets of boxes. You grabbed one from him and actively avoided his question.

Before Maia could reply, Tom and Nadine appeared on the doorframe, with Nadine practically glued to Tom.

“Harrison got the last remaining boxes so we’re heading off now,” Tom announced as Nadine’s face painted with clear desperation to get out of your place. “Are we still going bowling tonight?” Tom asked before Nadine whispered something in Tom’s ear and left.

“I’m actually exhausted so I’ll pass,” You answered, obviously avoiding spending time with your ex and his current girlfriend. You’re not that pathetic.

“Same might actually have to just drink the night away,” Maia responded with a grin.

“Well, there’s no way I’m third-wheeling so I’m good,” Harrison said as he threw himself towards the plush teal couch that you snagged from a flea market.

For the tiniest second, Tom seemed disappointed but gave a tight-lipped smile. “Oh, maybe we can reschedule our bowling night, then?” He asked. “It’s not as fun to go bowling with just the two people.”

You, Harrison, and Maia all shared a look. You weren’t on board with bowling-night, to begin with, but you didn’t want Tom to feel as if you were avoiding him—which you were but no one needs to know that.

Maia looked at you, waiting for an answer because god knows she will solely depend on her decision based on yours. You don’t even have an answer, to begin with.

“What are you two supposed to do then?” Harrison asked Tom. Thank god for Harrison.

“I might take Nadine to this poetry jam event that she’s been dying to go to” Tom replied with a soft voice.

“A poetry night?” Maia almost wanted to laugh “You don’t even have the slightest interest in literature, Tom.” Maia didn’t mean to offend him or maybe she did? She wasn’t completely fond of Tom ever since you and Tom broke up—well, she wasn’t fond of the idea that Tom was dating her ‘arch nemesis’, but Tom was her friend and so were you.

“I know that, Mai.” Tom rolled his eyes “but Nadine likes it and I’ll do everything to make her happy.” That left a bitter taste in your mouth.

“If you say so,” Maia murmured before she took a quick look at you. She looked like she wants to give you the biggest hug. But you held a stoic look on your face—something that you picked up because you were afraid of confrontation.

“I’m serious,” Tom defended, lost in his feelings, which only irked Maia even more.

“I know, I heard you— we heard you,” Maia replied, her face showing only one emotion: annoyed. “God, read the room,” Maia grumbled to herself. Harrison had to reach for her hand, urging her to calm down.

“I really love her,” Tom whispered. That left a slap in the face.

It was a cold Saturday afternoon and it has been raining almost all day. It was one of the rare weekends that you weren’t really occupied to do anything other than to lay on your couch and consume a copious amount of entertainment.

Despite the spitting rain, you actually want to head out this time. Being confined to your desk and the university was torture especially since you couldn’t do anything about it—the four of you were graduating this year, no one could afford to slack off.

You and Tom were cuddled against the sofa— Tom was busy watching something on TV while you were busy scrolling on your phone.

“Hey, Tom?”

“Yes, my sweet girl?”

“Do you want to go downtown?” You asked, looking at your phone as you read the details of an event happening this weekend.

“Right now?”

“Mhm,” you hummed. “There’s a book fair being held at the local theatre.” You rested your chin on top of his chest and gave him a pout. You were getting sick of being cooped up between your study table and the library. This book fair was a change of scenery and it’s definitely right up your alley.

“But it’s raining, darling” Tom tried to say in the softest way possible. It’s not exactly up in Tom’s interests though.

“I know,” You sighed “I guess I’m just getting sick of this place.”

“You’re getting sick of me?” Tom asked with a huge pout. He was kidding of course.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of you, Tom.” You chuckled softly.

“Okay,” He hummed, pulling you closer to him—if that was even possible. “Then can we stay like this for a while?”

“Anything for you, angel.” You whispered as you closed the details about the local book fair. Maybe next time.

Soon after Tom left, Maia pulled you to her side and asked, “You okay, babe?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” You feigned innocence. It was clear as day that you weren’t okay, your friends knew that.

Knowing that you weren’t going to budge, Maia walked towards the kitchen and brought out a bottle of wine from the fridge.

Harrison raised an eyebrow at her and asked, “When did you manage to put that in the fridge?” All of you had been occupied with grabbing boxes that there was no way that Maia had the time to put wine in the fridge, let alone obtain them from somewhere.

“It was supposed to be a celebratory drink for Y/N’s new place,” Maia replied as she set the wine and three various mugs on the coffee table. “Obviously, that’s not happening now.” Drinking wine using the oddly designed mugs you collected over the years was a cry for help.

“It’s 4 pm, Mai.” You pointed out as you stared at the white LED clock that you bought off Amazon—another impulse purchase enabled from scrolling on Pinterest for way too long. “We haven’t even had lunch yet.”

“Oh please,” Maia snorted “If there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s drinking with little to no food consumption.”

“And if there’s one thing that I’ve picked up from university, it’s cancelling all of my plans for the entire day because I have to tend your hungover-self, Mai,” Harrison remarked as he grabbed the bottle and placed it back on the fridge. “I’m ordering food and no one’s drinking until everyone has finished a meal.”

You heard Maia mutter a string of curses but most especially the part that she said, “This is not the version of daddy that I envisioned Harrison to be.”

All of a sudden Maia’s idea of binge drinking doesn’t seem like a bad idea, you thought.

Turns out Harrison had no intention of letting any of you drink. He was pretty adamant about not having to babysit two drunk messes in one night.

“As if babysitting one isn’t enough,” You recalled Harrison say. He was obviously pertaining to Maia, in which she just huffed the entire time. You often wondered if Maia and Harrison noticed the obvious tension between them, because personally you found it endearing. It was no question that they were meant for each other.

“Y/N, you still haven’t told us whatever happened between you and Tom.” Maia suddenly pointed out. You, Maia, and Harrison were still in the living room, silently watching TV.

You were actively avoiding this conversation for the longest time as you haven’t told anyone about it, and based by the curious faces of your friends, you figured that Tom didn’t tell anyone about it either. You’re still not sure whether that’s a relief or not.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” You mumbled. It’s not like you were lying, there really was barely anything to talk about. Heck—You and Tom never got to talk about it properly either.

“We see the way you look at him, Y/N.” Harrison replied softly. “I think there is something.”

“Look—” Maia sat up properly “I know you’re not really vocal about your feelings, but the fact that you’ve never talked nor showed any emotion about your breakup terrifies me, babe.” Maia’s tone was laced with concern.

“I remember the day you told us about it too,” Harrison couldn’t hide his concern too “We were having brunch together at our usual diner and half-way through our meal, you promptly said “We broke up” when Maia asked where Tom was,” Harrison recalled it like it was a fever dream. He and Maia had already expected that you weren’t going to tell them about the breakup when it just happened. However, it baffles them that it’s been over a year since you and Tom broke up, and not one word has been said about it.

It was silent for a while, except for Criminal Minds that was playing on the TV. You blankly stared at the screen, hoping that you’d catch whatever the agents were saying. It was impossible, especially when all your mind could focus on was the recollection of the day Tom knocked on your door at 1 am to breakup.

You were relatively busy that day from volunteer work, so you haven’t seen any of your friends the entire day—or Tom for that matter. Actually, you haven’t seen Tom in a few days. He would send texts periodically throughout the day but they were always short and most of the time, you always forget to reply.

You figured Tom was busy with his own thing and both of you established early on in your relationship that texting—or lack thereof— shouldn’t account to your relationship, especially since both of you are equally bad at it.

You didn’t think any of it since you were bound to see your boyfriend and your friends tomorrow for brunch anyway. He will have your undivided attention by then.

So imagine your surprise when you heard a soft knock from your door at 1 am, only to find Tom in disarray. His eyes were bloodshot red, tears falling down his face. His messy curls were masked under the hood from his jumper.

At first you were in panic, you thought that something terrible had happened to any of your friends—his family even.

But as soon as Tom dropped to his knees and whispered, “I’m sorry,” you had a clear idea what was bound to happen next.

It’s been silent for a while. The door was still open and Tom sat out in the hall with his back leaning against your wall. You did the same thing except you were on the other side of the wall that Tom was leaning on.

You two were close enough to the door frame that you could hear each other, actually facing each other was a whole other thing. Tears kept streaming down your face as you kept your eyes closed and rested your head against the wall.

At some point in your relationship, you prepared yourself in case this happened— that you would accept whatever happens between you and Tom. You didn’t exactly anticipate that it would happen so soon.

“Was there someone else?” You asked quietly. It was the first time you spoke after Tom dropped to his knees. You hoped there wasn’t. In fact, you silently begged to yourself that there wasn’t someone else, because you knew that you couldn’t handle that.

“No, no—of course not.” Tom immediately answers.”I could never do that to you.”

It was silent again. You were starting to feel numb—you tried your best to gather your thoughts and forced words out of your mouth, but you couldn’t.

“Are we not worth fighting anymore?” You practically whispered. It was a gamble— you weren’t exactly sure if Tom had heard it and you don’t have enough strength to ask it again.

“Y/N,” Tom sniffled. “You can’t say that.” He placed his hand on top of yours. You had your hand resting on the floor and you didn’t exactly notice that it served as an invitation for Tom hold it again.

You love Tom with all your heart. He kept dismissing it but Tom made you a better person. He made you feel like love can be expressed through different forms of things—not just words.

You loved him by exclusively making time for him. You went on museum dates where he would make cheesy remarks, saying that you’re the most remarkable piece of art in the entire place. You went on dates to watch football games—you never understood it but Tom was happy, so you were happy.

You loved him through your touch. You would often massage his back because he had been tirelessly working himself to the core. He didn’t ask for it but you knew it would make him feel better. Your touch didn’t have to be intimate—though you expressed it through that way too

You loved him through mindless actions. Almost every time you would stop by at the local cafe to grab yourself some coffee, you would always recite Tom’s favourite order on autopilot.

You loved him through silence. Study dates were gems for you. Even if you didn’t talk for the entirety of it and even if you were the only one who studied for the most part and Tom was just playing on his phone, having Tom beside you was enough.

You loved him so much that it pains you to think that maybe you weren’t enough for him.

“I don’t think I can fight for someone who doesn’t even want to,” You muttered bitterly. “Just answer the question, Tom.”

He didn’t answer. All you could hear were the silent sobs that you two were trying to hold back. At this point, you knew you wouldn’t look at Tom. Your heart wouldn’t take it—it will crush you.

“Are you not happy anymore?” Your voice cracked as you broke into a sob.

“Y/N—“ Tom squeezed your hand even more. You’re going to miss it, but you had to let go.

“Tom, if I’m standing in the way of your happiness then we should end this.” You cleared your throat and pulled your hand away. There’s a ghostly feeling that still lingered from Tom’s touch.

“Please, Y/N, let me explain—“

“It’s okay, Tom.” You whispered. “I understand.”

“You know I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Tom.”

“But—“

“But maybe it’s best if we end it, I know. I got it.” You let out a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down from crying. “Maybe it’s better if we stayed as friends.” Maybe it’s better to realize that whatever you and Tom had were too good to be true—that your love will never compare to the love he deserves.

“Do you want the truth?” You asked your friends, with tears forming in your eyes. You can’t even decipher how they looked at you because of the tears clouding your vision.

Were they looking at you in pity? Empathy? Sadness?

“The truth is—I’m mad.” You gritted the words through your teeth. This was the first time your friends had seen you like this. All of the pent-up sadness, aggression, and hurt you felt was starting to get the best of you.

“I’m angry. I’m hurt.” You snarled, furiously wiping the tears from your face. “I’m angry at the fact that I can’t seem to be genuinely happy for Tom. I’m hurt at the idea he seems to be a better boyfriend for Nadine, that he constantly makes an effort for her.”

“I don’t even know if he even loved me the way that I loved him,” Your voice became quiet “and it’s selfish for me to think that way because I never fought for it—for us. That’s enough reason to keep me up at night.”

That’s enough reason for you to wonder if you’ll be capable of loving someone so deeply again.

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