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i-did-not-mean-to · 2 years

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"Right now, I think I’d like to write a dance scene. Something sensual like burlesque…If you have any ideas, feel free to let me know lol" - Finrod could absolutely pull of a burlesque show!!! feathers, shinies, corsets... Oh yes, Nargothrond Burlesque Night

Dearest anon,

I had to adult today and lost my whole day over it...Nonetheless, here is the ficlet inspired by your genius.

Here is the beautiful beforehand rendition of the scene by @cuarthol who is not only an exceptional author but also a wickedly smart and funny artist as you can see...

Now, without further ado...Ladies and gentlemen...Findaráto...undressing 🤷🏻‍♀️

Burlesque night in Nagothrond

Words: 1,7k

Warnings: CRACK, complete idiocy, nudity, sexual innuendo...you name it...it's awful (oh and yes, they're all related. For those not familiar with the silm)

With a muted thud, Maedhros let himself fall into the surprisingly comfortable chair.

“What is he up to this time?” his brother – come from afar and tired to the bone – asked quietly; after receiving the missive inviting him to a “special night in Nargothrond”, he had ridden post-haste to that enchanted city to see one of his favourite half-cousins.

Times had been hard and bleak, and he was eager to be distracted – if only for the span of a single night – from the terrible doom dogging their every step.

Maglor had been but mildly surprised to find both his other half-cousin, the universally beloved Findekáno – valiantly holding on to his brother’s hand – and his very own Nelyafinwë – ever the protector – in attendance as well.

What caused the esteemed scions of once noble houses – now somewhat fallen into disrepute – more worry was the company of quite a few dwarves and the nervous, breathless giggles coming from a throng of young ladies clad in their best frocks.

“Something shocking,” Fingon shrugged with one of those easy, melting smiles that won over hearts in a single instant, “as per usual.”

He seemed unfazed by the thrumming sense of impatient expectation in the room and Maglor had to bite down on a sharp repartee; it annoyed him how envious he felt whenever he witnessed the loyal and devoted calm on the other’s face in Maedhros’ presence.

A sudden storm of drums interrupted their whispered conversation abruptly and then, the low room was plunged into sudden darkness; they all flinched – the memory of the last darkening still etched into their hearts and souls – but relaxed when a single ray of light fell on a small dais some feet away from their seats.

Finrod Felagund, king and marvel, stepped into the light as if he had been born to wear it, like a garment spun of dreams and hopes.

Smirking, he let his hands flow like pale rivers over the cascades of gemstones wrung around his slender throat and the layers of translucent, iridescent silk he’d shed in a few moments like a butterfly discarding its chrysalis.

“What in Eru’s name?”

Maglor chortled darkly at the choked cry from his brother, wondering if Maedhros was about to jump up and drag his half-cousin – oldest of his line and yet ever the younger kinsman to the firstborn grandson of Finwë – off the stage by his golden hair unceremoniously.

The drums had quieted now, beating insidiously in time with the captive hearts of the audience, while some stringed instrument whined to the longing sighs of a flute.

Ah, Makaulaurë Kanafinwë could and did applaud the ingenious use of music to entice the spellbound bodies into following the seductive rhythm slowly picking up its pace; his own pulse thundered in his throat like a winter storm, and he inhaled the warm air greedily in an attempt to pacify the prick of feral hunger setting his skin aflame.

And then, Finrod danced.

It was nothing like the courtly steps they had learned – in long, excruciating hours of study – in their youth though, this was indecently slow and sensual.

There was something breath-taking and scandalising at the same time in how deliberate those undulating, liquid movements were as their cousin – in a situation like this one, halves and quarters barely mattered anymore – picked up a fan and opened it with a sharp flick of those glittering wrists.

“He has ever been fond of his shiny baubles,” Fingon sniggered as if he was not wearing gold woven into his intricate braids by tender hands and as if he had not offered some of his father’s most prized possessions to his half-cousin in exchange for the crown Maedhros had so selflessly given up.

The boon the honourable Maitimo had eventually claimed as his reparation though had been much more malleable and warmer than any stone or metal could ever be, and everyone knew about it even though nobody wanted to speak the words out loud.

Individual gasps ran like the murmuring of the very ocean through the attending crowd; was it the sheer wealth of jewels twinkling and clinking on that flawless skin or the creature itself – feet moving elegantly and noiselessly to produce a mesmerising rolling motion that accentuated those sharp, inviting hips – that made them pant so?

“Oh,” someone sighed and Maglor’s eyes – hitherto settled in alarm and wariness on his brother – snapped back to the star of the show just in time to see the first layer of silk plummet to the ground like a sheet of multi-coloured snow, revealing shapely shoulders and collarbones so delicate they might have been sculpted by his own mother.

Finrod’s arms – strong in battle and welcoming in bed – waved through the air in a motion that should by all logic have looked ridiculous and – truth be told – turned out to be utterly hypnotising; everything about him was blindingly radiant: his wrists, his garments, his skin, and the wicked gleam in his eyes.

To the now outright playful tunes, he swung his hips in slow circles – every pair of eyes glued to his every movement, a lascivious smile adorning that fair face so many had lost themselves in.

The billowing slivers of fabric spun like wings around those tantalising hips as he kept rippling like a current of colour and light – blurring like a phantasmagoric vision before unblinking eyes – and leaning back seductively until his back formed a beautifully inviting marble arc in the ambient chiaroscuro.

“You should dance for me like that,” Fingon whispered into Maedhros’ ear, which made the tall redhead snort under his breath.

“I do not think so, dearest Finno,” he replied with a warm smile, “I’d look like a scarecrow come to life. I do not have our dear Ingo’s…poise.”

“You could learn,” Fingon insisted eagerly, “I’d worship you, you know?”

The throaty quality of his lover’s tone gave Maedhros pause and – for a second – he truly considered asking Finrod for pointers; it would not have been the first time that they’d exchanged illicit and unsavoury tips and tricks amongst kinsmen.

When they returned their attention to their gracious host though, another swath of nothing had been shed and the fan was back in action, stirring the remaining silk into a dance of its own while granting mere glimpses of skin and sparkling gems to the rapt audience in-between fluid but quick flicks of those flexible wrists.

“This is indecent,” Maedhros ground out, but both Maglor and Fingon wondered if the cause for the furious blush spreading up his throat was entirely due to his blusterous indignation.

With a mirthful chuckle, the king of these hallowed halls started toying with the emerald broach that served as a clasp, holding together that wicked last bastion of decorum, before pulling it out at a torturously slow pace without ever interrupting the languid twisting and twirling of the rest of his body.

It seemed – for a moment – as if Finrod had grown a thousand limbs that all oscillated invitingly and hence, the beauty he wrought washed in waves – set in motion inexorably by his sensuous dancing – over the drowning onlookers.

“Damn that fan,” Maglor cursed as it fluttered like a living creature over the exquisite and shockingly naked flesh of the king while he – still smiling most wickedly – rolled his shoulders and hips to the crooning of the pervasive instruments.

There was a magic in his blood that nobody had ever doubted but to see it exhibited thus – a spell, a curse, an enchantment wrought like iron around the captive spectators – still knocked the breath out of his three friends.

A crescendo of sound and motion – a flurry of skin and gems – and then…silence.

Finrod bowed deeply, the accursed fan coyly covering his most intimate secrets and the piercings the dwarves had granted him as a sign of their friendship catching the light like twin flames, and turned to where they sat in the shadows with a broad, playful grin.

“Well…” Aegnor looked at his brother in bewilderment.

“Well,” Angrod echoed in the same hollow, shocked tone; they had been so looking forward to seeing their oldest brother again but this display of power – pure, primaeval, raw energy – had taken them quite by surprise.

“Oh, look,” Aegnor sniggered, jabbing his elbow into his brother’s ribs, “it’s Nelyo, Káno, and Finno. I wonder how they’ve enjoyed our esteemed sibling’s show.”

“I do not care to know!” Before the words had breached Angrod’s lips though, the young warrior had shot out of his seat to harass his older kinsmen; if there was discomfort or even shame to be endured, it was – as all things were – a burden best shared with family members.

Angrod – hastening after his overly enthusiastic brother – joined them just in time to catch the other Finwëans’ stammered praise; Nerdanel’s offspring always had suffered from the charming disadvantage of blushing treacherously but even Findekáno seemed considerably flustered by what he had just witnessed.

“It was very…interesting,” Maedhros said, his words chewed to pieces by how tense his jaw was clenched around sensations and emotions neither one of Finrod’s brothers cared to investigate.

“He’s done really great with the arrangement, I’ve quite enjoyed the music,” Maglor tried his best to sound debonair and casual, but they had all known each other for too long for socially acceptable hypocrisy and white lies to be indulged without comment.

Angrod doubted that Káno had paid any attention to the – honestly rather mediocre – melodies and he certainly did not hesitate to express that opinion, much to the chagrin of a now beautifully pouting Maglor; he had ever been one of Findaráto’s favourites – that much was common knowledge – and Angrod decided that it might be time for his still somewhat decent brother and him to make a dignified exit.

“I bid you good night, dearest cousins,” Aegnor grinned, “we are sure to meet our beloved brother in the morning when he’s no longer sore from his performance.”

Judging by the feral look in the eyes – flashing dangerously in the low lights that had come on again – of those three fearsome Noldor though, they suspected that the brazen dancer might well find himself tender from other activities come morning light.

Am I the worst? Yes, cannot deny...Did post something not reread or edited...and it's as dumb as it can get...

Nonetheless, if it made you snigger at least once, I would be so happy if you could let me know...

Special thanks to @cuarthol again for demanding his brothers have some fun and for the beautiful drawing ❤️

#semi-request #writing block cure #finrod felagund #finrod dances burlesque #strange pairings in the background #I am lost #crack #humour #not serious #a little sexy #what can I say?#Nudity #the silm #silmarillion #fanfiction #writing

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encantickling · 2 years

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Tickle Headcanons - Madrigal Cousins

Isabela

I know it's a popular headcanon that she's either insanely ticklish or not that ticklish but honestly I'd say she's moderately ticklish. About average.

Isabela's worst spot is definitely her ribs - there's something about them that just drive her insane idk. Other spots include her thighs, feet and her hands.

In my head I definitely think Isabela prefers to ler than lee - she much prefers the act of tickling to being tickled. Although when she was playing abuela's pretty princess she would have to drag her victim into her bedroom before she could attack them - otherwise she'd be scolded for engaging in such 'childish behaviour'.

That being said, she is absolutely the meanest ler in Casita and all should fear the flower girls wrath.

This woman can control vines and you really think she won't use that power for evil? Fools.

The only people she'll actually let tickle her are her Mami and Papi. Luisa and Mirabel occasionally get a pass but only if they're in the safety of her bedroom.

Isabela's laugh is not what you'd expect. When playing senorita perfect she had this perfect quiet giggle she'd put on, but she straight up cackles and it's completely unexpected.

She doesn't hide her cackle anymore post-film and it soon becomes one of her distinguishing traits.

Has perfected her nails to be the optimal tickling tool. Also they're stabby for when she needs to fight Camilo for the last arepa. But they're still perfect for tickles.

She will show her nails off when threatening someone with tickles just bc she knows the power they hold.

Dolores

Surprisingly not that ticklish. People would expect her to be for some reason, but she finds it funny when people try to sneak attack her and it doesn't work.

Her worst spot is actually her ears. They're not just sensitive to sound - they're incredibly sensitive to even the lightest sensation. Blowing on them makes her squeal loud enough to make herself cringe.

Dolores is also one mean ler, although that's mainly because she managed to acquire two very mischievous younger brothers. She doesn't ler very often though - unfortunately the laughter can hurt her ears.

That doesn't mean she won't tickle her two brothers to tears whenever they try to prank her though. Ear plugs were invented for a reason.

Especially Camilo. Antonio is very small and very precious - Camilo is just a little shit.

Speaking of Camilo - she will absolutely rat him out whenever he does something tickle worthy. Even though she can't listen to it, she has a sixth sense for when he's getting up to mischief worth a playful punishment.

Giggles for days. When you do catch her in a sensitive spot and it's not a major overload she just has these very quiet bubbly giggles. Mariano will become well acquainted with them as they start dating.

She often has to be the one to inform the family that a few people might be late due to an impromptu tickle fight. She really doesn't mind.

She is also responsible for ratting out anyone who's in a lee mood. She just knows. Lees beware - she's ratting you out to any ler nearby.

She may be cute but she's the devil. Don't trust her. At all.

Luisa

Not ticklish at all. Clearly Isabela and Mirabel split the ticklish spots she should have gotten bc this hot buff lady feels NOTHING.

And as such, Luisa is an absolutely overpowered ler.

Despite having the ability to wreck her lees to tears and back, Luisa actually prefers softer, gentler tickles. She's very tender, likes to cradle her lees like babies in one big arm as she tickles their torso.

Despite popular belief, Camilo is one of her favourite lees. He will climb her like a tree and she'll just drag him down for some soft tickles and cuddle time.

She will definitely take her sisters down a notch though, and she likes to attack all of her cousins. She doesn't really tickle the adults though - too much respect for authority. She'll restrain if asked - she's always a willing accomplice.

It's 50/50 whether she'll protect a fleeing Lee or betray them - she likes to keep them on their toes lmao.

Despite not being ticklish, Luisa will laugh at her lees. It's not a cackle like Isabela though - she has this very warm, soothing chuckle. It doesn't feel like she's laughing at you maliciously, it feels like she's laughing fondly.

She is just so soft and gentle in general, be still my beating heart. She treats all her lees like they're made out of delicate glass and cradles them so gently in her arms it's honestly precious. Also unrelated to tickling but she is absolutely a cuddlebug. You hug her she ain't letting go until she's satisfied. You are stuck.

Not that anyone's actually complaining. Luisa cuddles are a hot commodity. Everyone wants Luisa time.

Luisa will not let her lees go until she's certain they're 100% recovered. This girl will carry you around and fetch you water, snacks, heck she'll even wrap you up in a blanket and let you nap if you want. She loves being able to provide - thats the whole reason she likes being a ler.

Camilo

Holy God all of the nerves Dolores should have received went to Camilo. Easily the most ticklish out of the cousins, no doubt.

Most ticklish on his tummy, but this poor guy is basically a walking tickle spot. He definitely got bullied as a kid lmao.

Camilo is the definition of a lee. He can't say the word tickle, blushes when it's mentioned, doesn't fight back but gets shy when he's called out on it...

You've got to think as well for 10 years he was the only boy. Easy target. Man was basically destined to be a lee.

He's also a colossal brat - yes he can be incredibly sweet at times and knows when to tone it down but he plays so many practical jokes and stuff that it's easy to find a reason to wreck him.

He's got a very cute laugh as well which only makes it more fun - it's full of squeaks and squeals. And he always gets hiccups afterwards - every single time.

He doesn't change into a different person every time he hiccups - it's worse in his opinion because it changes his nose. One hiccup he'll have his own, then he'll hiccup and his nose will go from Bruno's to abuela's to Felix's to Isabelas. Just his nose.

If he's hiccuping you know he's just gotten the tickling of his life - he literally never hiccups otherwise. So he just gets poked and prodded and he whines before hiccuping again. It's hard not to laugh when watching his nose cycle through 9 different sizes and shapes.

His favourite lers are Luisa and Pepa and Felix. I don't think his parents surprise anyone lol, they're just so playful and bright and just fun. However he also really likes Luisa because it's a way for him to relax and just vibe. He's not screaming with laughter nor is he being physically restrained beyond lifted - it's just soft pleasant giggly cuddles tbh. It's a nice break from the chaos of the day.

Sometimes a guy just needs to be babied and Luisa is all too happy to do that for Camilo. What can he say? (She also gives him head pats and Camilo is a weak man.)

Mirabel

Also moderately ticklish, Luisa was clearly just a fluke. Interesting to note that where Mirabel is ticklish, Isabela is not, and where Isabela is ticklish, Mirabel is not.

Definitely has a ticklish tummy, but the backs of her knees are her worst spot. She also has a very sensitive neck, and her bob doesn't help matters.

Hands down Mirabel is a switch. Mirabel will attack anyone and everyone, but is also not opposed to being attacked.

Mirabel is incredibly observant - she will note down all your weak spots. She has a notebook of all of her cousins and sisters ticklish areas. It's like science.

Everyone fears Mirabel when she gets into a ler mood. Everyone.

She once chased Camilo around the house for 30 minutes before Luisa got tired and tripped him up for her. Woman has no mercy in her body.

Has no problem asking for tickles when she wants them. Her papi and Luisa are her favourite lers because it's just so soft and nice. I can't headcanon Agustin as malicious tickler at all lmao.

Julieta is her second favourite only because her nails make everything ten times worse lmao. She's very similar to Agustin and Luisa but the nails.

God this girl is a demon for teases holy hell. She knows just what to say to get her lees whining and squealing and its honestly frightening.

What do you mean she doesn't have a power? This girl is tickle monster incarnate.

No major headcanons for Antonio bc the kid is 5 years old and I don't interact with kids enough to know how they would act (and even though I'm strictly sfw it makes me feel weird to make headcanons for people under 14/15)

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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Memory - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where Bucky's a vampire but still manages to develop a breeding kink

Warnings: smut, breeding kink, vampire!AU, creampie, daddy kink, mention of blood because of biting

A/N: this is for my darling cousin @whisperlullaby‘s challenge, and also my own! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them, instead of on Thursdays, which are my usual one-shot posting days. I hope you guys will enjoy this silly idea of a vampire with a breeding kink 💛 I had a blast writing it! Unbeta’ed because I almost died this week and cannot be bothered to stare at my writing for any longer.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Okay, let’s play truth or dare!” I groaned as silently as possible at the proposition. One of the downsides of dating someone in college was having to deal with the immaturity of their friends, especially when I was unable to escape yet another invitation for a weekend getaway.

There were only so many encounters a man could refuse before mysterious became annoying, and I knew I was toeing the line, even if my girlfriend never complained.

She understood just how irritating these gatherings could be to me. It would have been easy to imagine if there was a realistic age gap between us, but considering the centuries that separated our birth dates, it was laughable that anyone would entertain the idea of me with a bunch of young adults who only wanted to get laid, smoke some weed and drink their asses off.

Of course, her friends didn’t know my true age, so they only thought I was a little bit irked by their behavior. Y/N knew the truth, and so evidently she tried to get me out of it, but I resisted.

I wanted her to take part in the normal experiences people her age were having. There was already so much that she was missing out on just by being with me - and I wasn’t even referring to the blood that she granted me every night.

I’d accepted to be there with her that evening. I was going to immerse myself in the full experience, if only to learn a bit more about her and those she surrounded herself with.

Her best friend let out a little excited yell when she noticed that we were joining the circle and I forced myself to smile at her. “Alright, let’s do this.” One of the male friends rubbed his hands before reaching for the bottle, making it spin as I frowned. I thought that was a different game, but apparently I was mistaken.

It landed on a girl I had yet to get acquainted with, and so I disconnected myself from the conversation as I watched my beloved laugh and have fun with her friends. It made me feel warm. It made me grateful I had decided to join.

A few more rounds went by without anything of essence actually happening. I was about to excuse myself when the bottle surprisingly stopped while pointing at Y/N.

She gasped as she stared at the man who was responsible for deciding her fate, and I already knew I wouldn’t like what was coming next. But she was smart, so she avoided the dare that would undoubtedly enrage me, leaving her to answer a question that I also would have preferred not to hear.

“So… Y/N…” He began, taking far too much pleasure at the situation, and by the way she rolled her eyes, I knew she was thinking the same.

“Yes, Simon.” He opened his mouth to say something, but instinctively looked my way. I was trying my best not to let any emotion slip through the cracks of my perfectly constructed mask, but whatever it was that he saw seemed to make him change his mind.

He closed his mouth and frowned, for a second deep in thought, before he sighed and finally voiced his question. “Just tell us one of your kinks.”

It sounded like he was trying to get this over with, and although Y/N seemed just as confused, she cleared her throat and gave him an answer.

“Oh, I don’t know… I guess.. Creampie?” Little giggles and comments rose around the circle, but nothing really stuck out and they were quick to motion her to spin the bottle so another person could have a turn.

It was a different reaction that I was expecting, especially considering what everyone did for much tamer answers, but the explanation for the lukewarm crowd was made clear by a groaned comment from Simon to the man beside him.

“This is no fun now that she isn’t single.” A small giggle resonated by my side, and I turned in the direction it came from to find my girlfriend trying to suppress her amusement behind her palm.

“Something funny, little one?” I knew they’d take notice of the pet name, but I honestly couldn’t be bothered to even pretend to care, and the fact that she smiled openly up at me showed me that she didn’t, either.

“Not at all.” She pulled me closer to deposit a quick peck on my lips and I was sure if my heart was still beating, it would have fluttered at the way she looked at me. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

“Of course.” Thankfully, the game didn’t last much longer - for us, at least. Somehow, the bottle didn’t land on me once, and Y/N started to yawn, her head resting against my shoulder after the third consecutive “Who would you rather bang?” question.

“I think we’re gonna leave for the night,” she excused us even though I knew she wasn’t really sleepy. She really could be an excellent actress when she wanted to.

We walked up the stairs to where the bedrooms were located, quickly getting in what had been assigned as ours for the weekend. She smiled softly at me as she reached for her backpack, no doubt looking for the one shirt of mine she always slept in, but I had a few things in my mind I wanted to ask her about.

“Why do you like creampies to much?” The words spilled out at me so unusually, considering the silence in the room, it didn’t surprise me that it took her a while to answer. When she did though, I was surprised to find her biting her lip, a look between amused and horny in her eyes when she approached me.

“Dunno.” She shrugged, taking my hands in her and playing with my fingers. I knew it was a way to avoid my intense gaze. “Guess I have a bit of a breeding kink, actually. It just felt too personal to share with those guys.”

The answer took me by surprise as I stared down at her, blinking a couple of times as I made sure to really process what she had said.

“A breeding kink?” I confirmed, and she rolled her eyes in that way I knew she did when she was embarrassed but trying to play it off as annoyed.

“Yeah, you know.” She pulled away from me to sit on the bed, legs dangling off of it almost like a child. “I like the idea of being bred. Even though I’m in no way ready to become a mother,” she added in a serious tone, making sure I understood what she meant.

But I didn’t. I didn’t and I guess it was clear in my face, because she quirked an eyebrow and jumped out of the bed, coming to stand before me once more.

“Why is this so weird to you?” She inquired, head tilted in amusement. “You’re over a century old, I’m sure your expectations regarding sexual relationships were related to impregnation for most of your life.”

And I mean… she wasn’t wrong. But I hadn’t thought about that for so long, I guess it didn’t occur to me that there was an actual term for it these days.

“There’s no way you don’t have a breeding kink.” The affirmation sounded almost like a dare, so my instinct was to fight it, wrap my arms around her torso so I’d keep her close to me, but deny it.

“You know I can’t ‘breed’ anyone anymore, darling.” But she wasn’t giving up. Her fingers softly traced my jawline, eyes sparkling with a dangerous glint as she countered, “Doesn’t mean you can’t like the idea of it.”

Even though I didn’t need the oxygen, I inhaled sharply, suddenly fascinated by her every movement, the way she gently unwrapped herself from my arms to slowly unbutton her simple dress, the one she made it look like a fucking gown.

“Think about it, Buck…” Every inch of skin that became exposed to my eyes still had my mouth watering, desperate to taste her all over.

“Wouldn’t you want to see me round with your child?” The question provoked my imagination, playing with her features as I thought about what she proposed. Her breasts fuller, stomach protuberant, and maybe a little feet rubbing against the skin, something I could kiss.

“See me carry your genes, continue your lineage… Wouldn’t you want that?” Her innocent eyes spelled trouble when she stood before me again, close enough to touch.

And I couldn’t deny that the idea did something to my heart - even though it didn’t beat anymore. Most undeniably, it definitely did something to my cock, which now strained against my pants, the arousal that the image of her impregnated by me provoked bursting as I looked at the creature that I loved in wonder and fascination.

“Are you trying to tempt me, doll?” She bit on her lower lip to stop herself from giggling before I pulled it away from her teeth when I took her in my arms again, naked breasts rubbing against my shirt.

“Is it working?” She breathed out, eyes connected to mine while she tried to gather my feelings about her attempt. I pressed her body closer, making sure she’d feel the hardness in my pants before I even voiced it.

“Very well,” I whispered in her ear, enjoying the way my cold breath awakened goosebumps all over her warm skin. She never complained about the difference in temperature, something that I was profoundly grateful for, since I loved to feel her hot blood pumping underneath my fingertips whenever I trailed my digits over her flesh.

“So tell me,” she pressed, still going for seductive even though she sounded slightly out of breath, her desire evident in the way her pupils had dilated. “Would you like to breed me, James?”

A shiver went down my spine at the question and I closed my eyes for just one second, just to relish in this sensation before I opened them to confess, “You have no idea how much I’d like that.”

My hand easily spread her lower lips, middle finger running between them to test her wetness and finding her soaked, like she always seemed to be for me. The knowledge had me smiling as I lifted my hand to taste her before making quick work of my belt, observing her slowly walking backwards towards the bed as I followed, almost like there was a thread connecting us, keeping us close.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he moaned against my ear as he buried himself inside of me and I clutched at his shoulders, desperate to feel every part of him connected to every part of me.

Only he could get me this way. Chest heaving, mouth open just from the simple act of feeling him stretching me open. It didn’t matter how many times he took me, it still burned the same - and I loved it.

“Tell me, doll,” he panted, hypnotizing eyes connected to mine, unwilling to let my gaze escape his hold. “Tell me you’d want to have my child. You’d look so beautiful with your body changing because of me, wouldn’t you want that?”

I groaned, throwing my head back as James fucked me senseless, his cock ramming against my sweet spot over and over again. He knew no mercy, I knew that. I just never anticipated to have such an overwhelming reaction to a silly little kink I never even thought I’d ever get to explore.

“Answer me, little one.” His fangs came into play then, piercing around the nipple that he sucked, galvanizing me into actually responding, “I would, I would, daddy,” while pulling on his hair without even realizing.

He let go of my breasts to look at me with dark eyes - not because he had come in contact with my blood, oh no. It was clear that this was the reaction to the name that escaped me so easily, waving its way into him until it broke the last bit of his control and left him completely undone, only determined to fuck me.

I watched him lick his lips before he ordered, “tell daddy you want his cum inside of you.” Hearing him acknowledge this other secret kink, refer to himself as it had me delirious, unable to formulate any words to obey him, so I opted to hide my face in the crook of his neck, hoping the feeling of my burning cheeks would satiate him.

What a mistake.

“Oh, so now you’re shy?” He mocked, rubbing his jaw against my cheek as I whined against him. “Want daddy’s cum so much but can’t be a good girl and beg for it?”

I came with a long drawn-out gasp right then, my body twitching underneath his as his cock dragged along my walls once, twice, a third time until it spilled his cum inside of my channel. The act was so hot to me that it had me pulling on his hair, whispers of “I love you, I love you,” tumbling out of my lips.

He silenced me with a kiss, still managing to keep on thrusting until I had to push him away because of my sensitivity.

“Spread your legs for me, little one…” He ordered, brushing his tongue over his lower lip in contemplation. “Let me see the mess I left there.”

I was still a bit nervous about the whole ordeal now that the wave of horniness had left me, but I did eventually spread my legs for him, whimpering as he bit down on his own lip at the sight of his spent dripping from my abused pussy.

“Oh, you look so good like that, darling.” I could barely contain my giddiness as he laid down by my side and pulled me to rest on his chest, pressing a kiss to my temple while he caressed my arm. “But one question remains unanswered.” To my almost sleepy hum, he proceeded, “Why do you like the idea of breeding so much?”

That got me thinking, wiping the tiredness off of my muscles like a bucket of cold water. It felt weird to admit it, but at the same time, I wanted nothing more than to bare my soul to the man I loved, to have him aware of every little thing about me…

So I admitted, “I like the idea of being yours… in this very scary, slightly territorial way.” At his silence, I giggled, hiding my face on his chest as I waited for his response.

“But you are mine,” he reminded me, and even as I rolled my eyes, a silly smile painted my lips, loving that he felt like he needed to tell me that.

“I know I am,” I recognized. “It’s just another way I’d like to be claimed by you. Besides, I can just imagine how well you’d take care of me…”

Silence filled the room as we both got lost in the images of what could never be. Me with a fully-grown belly, walking like a penguin as he held up tiny onesies that looked ridiculous in his huge hands.

My heart ached for what could never be, surely, but I couldn’t really grieve a future I’d never have while I was so happy with the man who wanted to give me one.

“I’ll always take care of you.” He kissed the back of my hand, and even though he knew it wasn’t exactly what I meant, it was just enough. “I’m sorry that I can’t ever give you children.”

The guilt in his tone was almost palpable, and I wanted to do anything in my power to make it disappear. This wasn’t what I intended when I shared my sexual fantasies with him. They were just that - fantasies. I wouldn’t trade my reality for any alternative version the universe could offer me.

“It’s alright, babe,” I assured him, depositing a kiss on his chest, right where his heart would be beating for me if it could. “I think the way you want to claim me is just as territorial… and much more final.”

Bucky held me close, breathing me in - even if he didn’t need to do that to survive - before he asked me the last doubt that still hovered in his mind.

“Aren’t you scared?” And as I laid there in his embrace, feeling loved and cared for, I knew the only acceptable answer that I could give him was, “It’ll be worth it.”

#whispers700challenge #my 2k challenge #my fics #bucky barnes smut #smut #vampire au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes reader #bucky barnes reader insert #bucky barnes reader inserts #bucky barnes fanfiction

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chaeiimimi · 3 years

Note

HEY BUBS! I HOPE YOU’RE DOING GREAT, PART TWO WAS SUCH A BOMB AS WELL ALDJAKDJA I’M LOWKEY GETTING BABY FEVER ALREADY AT THIS POINT LMAO JK AKSJAKS IF YOU HAVE TIME, I’D LIKE TO REQUEST OSAMU / SUNA / OIKAWA / AKAASHI ALDHAKS ANY OF THEM WOULD BE FINE UWU 😫

HEY BUBS I’M SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY BFIWBFIWBF MY LIFE’S BEEN PRETTY CRAPPY LATELY, I’M GLAD YOU LIKED THE SECOD PART AAAAA STAY HAPPY AND HEALTHY BUBS ILY <3

Haikyuu Boys and a Single Mom Pt. 3

Featuring: Suna, Bokuto, Kenma

Suna Rintaro

despite being a professional volleyball player, Suna was still a university student, he evenly splits up his days to go to volleyball practice and university

he was always dreading to go to university, but he knew he needed it, and you, being his seating beside you in three classes, made university bearable

you had this amazing aura, always so gentle, and kind, you had a soft smile plastered on your face almost like a motherly smile, your voice was always calm and soft, you were just so breath-taking to look at

although you two never talked that much, Suna already knew a lot of little details about you, he once drove pass you walking to the kindergarten just one street away from your university, he knew that you carry a container of fruits in your bag, you always left as soon as classes for the day was over, and that was only a few among a hundred of little things about you

Suna admired you from afar, as much as he likes you so much it physically hurts him, love just wasn't his priority, his priority was volleyball and his career

or at least he thought

life surely has a great sense of humor because somehow you guys ended up being partners for a thesis paper

"I look forward to working with you Suna" you smiled

"likewise" he says with his usual blank face

Suna didn't want to admit it, but he was excited

"so, where do we work on this?" he asks looking at the notes he took for that class

"well, we can work on it at my place" you say casually while also looking at your notes

"are you sure it's okay?" he asks again to make sure, this girl, the person he's been crushing on for his two years in university is now inviting him to her place

"yeah, i can't really spend a lot of time outside, my son hates it"

and just like that Suna was having a mini heart attack, you were married? you have a son? what-

“hey, you alright?” you asked worriedly

Suna quickly composed himself

“uhh y-yeah, won’t your husband get angry?” he asks

“oh don’t worry I raise Kiro by myself” you smiled

Suna looked at you strangely, unable to keep up

you chuckled at his dazed look “I’m a single mother”

Suna almost breathed out a sigh of relief, thankfully he was able to stop himself or else you would get the wrong idea

“yeah, yeah sure, let’s work on it at your place” he snapped out of it, did he sound too happy to hear that you were single? yes, but we ain’t gonna talk about that

what was your ex thinking? he was pretty sure your kid was cute and you were so breath-taking to look at, what a stupid guy

“what does your son likes?”

“hm?” you asked him to make sure you heard him right

“what does your son likes?”

later in the evening, Suna showed up at your place with chocolate chip ice cream and the most expensive sushi he could find

you worked on your project for a good two hours, finalizing the outline of the thesis, while Kiro sat on Suna’s lap, your son immediately liked him, maybe because of the ice cream and sushi , but Kiro was very fond of him

“Kiro, baby, get off of Suna’s lap please he might get tired” you said to your son while you were keeping the things you used

“I don’t mind, he’s surprisingly light” Suna says as he bounces Kiro on his lap

“alright, if you say so, I’m going to prepare snacks” you made your way to the kitchen and left the two in the living room

“mister rin-rin” Kiro whispers while tugging on Suna’s shirt

“hm?” he answers looking at the kid, he was right, Kiro was extraordinarily adorable, it felt like he was looking at a smaller boy version of you and it was making her heart go feral, making him break his rules and try his best to get the both of you

“i want you to be my daddy” he whispers while fiddling with his fingers shyly

please this man is about to combust

he pats the boy’s head “sure bud” he said with a smile

“then can I call you dad?” he asks , eyes sparkling

“well it’s better to start early right? sure you can bud” he says, a full-blown grin plastered on his usually stoic face

Bokuto Koutaro

the flashing and clicking of cameras occupied the whole room where the MSBY Jackals were holding their post-game press conference, they won the game by the way and Bokuto was in high spirits answering questions thrown at him by the reporters

it was your turn to ask a question to the players and you stood up “Bokuto-san, your fans are always wondering why you’re always in high spirits, what is your secret?”

Bokuto has never seen you before, were you a knew reporter? because damn he would’ve noticed you immediately if you were on their past press conferences, you looked like a celebrity to be quite honest

“I’m playing volleyball, there’s no room for me to be unhappy” he simply says

it was you first day at your new job, quite frankly, you’re glad you quitted your old one, they forced you to stay behind the camera and write scripts for anchors when you finished a bachelor degree on broadcasting

“Can’t blame him, I’m also happy when I do my job” you mumble to yourself as you remembered Bokuto’s answer to your question

“mama!” you looked at your son who was in the arms of your cousin Kuroo

“hey thanks for doing this for me couz” you say as they stopped right in front of you

“mama! have you seen the game?! they were so awesome! Uncle Tetsu promised me to go meet MSBY!” your son happily jolts in his Uncle’s arm

you looked at him with a motherly smile, happy that you’re son enjoyed the game

“you coming with us?” Kuroo asked

“you two go ahead I’ll just rest for a bit” you were tired with keeping up with the game and asking questions

the two nodded “alright, just show this to the guard and they’ll let you enter” Kuroo says, handing you a pass

you mutter a small thank you as you watch them walk away

let’s just say Gen, your son, was liked by every single member of the team, I mean, who could ever dislike such an adorable kid?

“MSBY cool! Shoyo pwaaa! Boto bam!” he says while jumping up and down, while Kuroo watched his nephew smiling

Bokuto was particularly very fond of him, was it because the kid was unbelievably adorable? or was it because the kid reminded him of a certain reporter? He’d like to think both

“Gen-kun who’s yer fav’rite player eh?” Atsumu asks the kid

the kid looked at eight full-grown man looking at him expectantly, his eyes stopped on the black-and-white haired spiker and made grabby hands towards him “BOUTO! BOUTO!”

the members were disappointed but not surprised at all, kids tend to go to Bokuto or Hinata since they have the friendliest faces

“HEY! HEY! HEEEY!” Bokuto did not hesitate and lifted the boy up in the air, as they both giggle

“Tetsu?” your voice interrupted the commotion inside the room

Kuroo went to the door and opened it for you and the first thing you saw was your son giggling with the person stuck in your head for about twenty minutes now

“Mama!” your son screamed as soon as he saw you and asked to be put down to run towards you giving you a hug on your leg you looked down at him and patted his head gently

Kuroo cleared his throat “this is Y/N L/N my cousin, the mother of adorable the adorable Gen, she is single and ready to mingle, 2 in 1 you get an adorable son and a lovely wife, contact me for more details, the price can be discussed”

you deadpanned at your cousin, why tf was he selling you like an auction, you shook your head

you were hyper aware of the intensity of the owl-eyed spiker, making you blush

while Bokuto was over here thinking, damn he hit the jackpot an adorable son and an absolutely gorgeous wife? you bet he’s in and he’s gonna do everything he can to win you and make you and your son happy

“I’m sorry about him, please excuse me, my son and I needs to leave” you said politely and bowed as you take your son away

unbeknownst to you, Bokuto was in the middle of business with your cousin

“hey, how much for the details?” Bokuto whispers to his bestfriend as if they were in the middle of an illegal transaction

Kuroo looked at his friend with eyebrows raised

“I’ll pay any amount” Bokuto was very serious, which made the former Nekoma captain burts out laughing

“well, since you’re my good friend, a few drinks will do” Kuroo after his hyena laugh session

“Hey! hey! hey! thanks Kubroo!” Bokuto says in his usual cheery voice

later that night, you wondered why you were having dinner with your son, your cousin, and the former captain of Fukurodani, how he managed to get you flowers in such a short amount of time and this late at night was beyond your knowledge. But you weren’t complaining though, how could you when he looked adorable with a flushed face asking for your number after driving you and your son home.

Kenma Kozume

Kenma wasn’t fond of kids, he didn’t disliked them, he just preferred hanging out with adults who were less hyper, proceeds to hangout with Bokuto, Hinata and Kuroo

but he was a gamer and it is inevitable that some of his fans were kids, he didn’t mind it though he is thankful to each and everyone of his fans

being the twenty-eight year old youtuber/CEO that he is, he barely have time to go out and it happened very rarely, and today happened to be one of those rare occasions as he got out to get some ice cream in a very hot summer day

but he was in a for surprise, at an empty alley, he heard a ruckus

“give it back! please give it back!”

it was never in Kenma’s personality to pry, but something was pushing him to go check out what was going on

he went inside to the dark alley and saw four boys, about eight years old, one was in the middle, his clothes all crumpled and dirty, his bag empty, his things sprawled out, scattered in front of him

“you want this thing? it’s not even the latest model, you think kodzu-”

Kenma cleared his throat, already able to register what was happening

“ken” the bully continued

“you know kids, I don’t really like bullies” Kenma starts as he walks towards the little boy, picking up his scattered things one by one and putting it in his bag

“leave, before I report you to your school” Kenma says stoically which made one of the boys drop the game console in his hand as the three of them scramble to get out of the dark alley

the little boy picked up the game console and tried to open it, but to no avail, it was broken

Kenma went closer as he handed him his bag

“are you okay?” he asked as he crouch down to the boy’s level, it was obvious that he was not okay, his face had little scratches and his clothes were all dirty and slightly damped

but the little boy meekly nodded and looked down on his game console, which Kenma noticed

“I can get you a new one” he says in attempt to cheer up the little boy, he didn’t know what was pushing him to do so, but his heart broke at the sight of him broke his heart

“mister Kodzuken, can you please get this fixed for me instead?” for the first time, the boy looked at him with sad eyes

how could he say no to that face? he took the game console and looked at the boy

“is there a reason why you want me to fix it?” he asks

“my mom worked hard to get me that on my birthday, she didn’t buy her favorite coffee, her favorite bread, she patched up her shoes instead of buying a new one, she even lied to me that she wasn’t hungry when we ate out, I don’t wanna make her sad” the boy sadly said and wore his bag

Kenma was in awe, no wonder this boy was so polite and respectful

“alright, how but I’ll call your mother now, she is needed in this situation” Kenma says as he takes out his phone

the boy slowly dictates his mom’s phone number, and when he was done, Kenma was speechless, the number was already registered as his secretary’s number

Kenma shakily presses the call button

“sir?” your voice from the other line, never seize to make his heart skip a beat

“Y/n do you happen to have a son?” his voice was still calm

“yes, how did you know sir? i have a son he’s name is Eiji, he’s eight” you happily told him

“well, I kinda caught some kids bullying him, I think that you’re needed here” he says calmly

“oh no, my baby, i’ll be there ASAP sir, please do send the location”

“I’ll send the location to my driver, he’ll pick you up” Kenma says and hangs up as he send a quick messege and the location to his driver

Kenma was supposed to ask you out tomorrow, that was the reason why he didn’t go to the office today, he was going to surprise you at his place because he didn’t want you, the girl he liked to the horrible people of the internet

you were too pure, too kind, you always made sure to get him something to eat despite his resistance, made sure that he doesn’t overwork himself and even going to the extent where you do some of his workloads, of course he trusted you enough to do so and you’ve been working with him for four years now

but you had a child? did you have a husband? but you’re resume said that you were single? is it a boyfriend?

“you know mister Kodzuken, mama always talks about you when I ask her about her day, I think she’s got a little crush on you” Eiji smiled softly at him

which almost made the former setter melt into a puddle, the boy was adorable, and even if his original plan was to just date you, he was more than happy to have Eiji, having a mini you around made it all even better, he wasn’t fond of kids but the little boy infront of him was an exception

“I think, I can make that happen” he smiles softly

the day after you appeared looking distressed, talked to your son’s bullies and their parents at the school’s principal office with Kenma and Eiji seating beside you, you were now inside your boss’ house, he was asking you to be his girlfriend, your son happily jumping up and down beside him

how could you say no, when four years ago, you were only dreaming of this moment?

#kenma x reader #bokuto x reader #suna rintaro x y/n #suna x reader #kenma kozume #Bokuto Koutarou #suna rintaro #haikyuu scenarios

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fific7 · 3 years

Text

Dangerous and Divine - Epilogue

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: The final part!! This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 Hopefully you’ve guessed by now that is my “Billy Russo Deserves Real Love AU” as I totally refuse to accept what happened in S2! The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Some drinking & swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

Six Months Later

You opened up your eyes slowly, becoming aware of a finger trailing gently down your arm; it felt like a butterfly fluttering on your skin. Two dark chocolate eyes were gazing down into yours, sparkling with mischief.

“Good morning, Mrs Russo,” a very self-satisfied Billy Russo whispered, smiling at you.

You yawned, stretching out out your limbs and enjoying the feeling of a light breeze on your body coming through the patio doors.

“Morning, Billy,” you replied, reaching up and kissing his lips, scratching a finger along his bristly jaw. “And how is my wife this morning?” he asked, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “I’m good... actually, very good,” you smiled up at him. “Just as well we’ve got our own villa, angel. You were so noisy last night, screaming my name,” he teased.

Getting up, you stretched again, aware of Billy’s eyes on you as you picked up your little silky robe, slowly putting it on and enjoying the disappointed look on his face. “That’s just to big up your male ego, poppet,” you teased back. He flung himself onto his back on the bed, faux-sulking, “How can you say that, sweetheart?! ....after I kept you up half the night making love to you?”

“Only half the night? Would’ve thought the love god that is Billy Russo would be claiming it was all night!!” A pout instantly appeared on his handsome face and that was just too much, so you leant down over him, stroking his face and kissing him passionately. He grabbed you, pulling you down onto him and your robe came off a lot faster than it went on, unceremoniously dumped on the floor. “Ride me,” he whispered in your ear.

You had to bring him back down to earth though, as you quite urgently needed to visit the bathroom and so you’d extricated yourself from his arms and stood up, picking up your robe. The pout had got even poutier and his eyes looked huge as he gazed up at you from where he lay on the crisp white Egyptian cotton sheets. “Oh, okayyy,” he drawled, grinning, both hands going up behind his head as he lazed back on the pillows, “....so now we’re married, you’re gonna start slappin’ sex bans on me, huh?” You slipped your robe back on and put your hands on your hips, “Billy Russo! Don’t be such a drama king! You’d think you were on your honeymoon or something!” He just kept on grinning at you.

“Well! You either wait two minutes so I don’t have an accident on those lovely clean sheets, or maybe I’d better just call my divorce lawyer right now!” you mock-threatened. His face fell, “Angel! I’m only jokin’ y’know!” You burst out laughing, “Me too, you silly big sap! But not about going to the bathroom!” Flouncing out of the bedroom, hearing his answering laugh as you went.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Once you were in the bathroom, you let your mind drift back over the last few days. You and Billy had been married just two days ago, a small wedding just as you both wanted with close family and friends only (Billy’s Marine buddies being his family). You’d had the most perfect day, but after all the planning and rushing around in the run-up to the big day, you felt as if it had all gone by in a flash. Whoosh - and it was all over. One minute Karen and your little cousin had been fussing round you, helping with your hair, your makeup, your dress, and in no time at all - it seemed - Billy was taking your hand and leading you out of the reception party, accompanied by a chorus of wolf whistles and catcalls.

You two had stayed that night in the beautiful hotel in upstate New York where the wedding had been held. Billy had picked you up ‘bridal style’ while you were in the hotel elevator and then carried you along the corridor to your suite, kicking the door shut behind him and laying you gently down on the bed. Then he had slowly and sensually slid your wedding dress and underskirts up over your thighs, smile as bright as the sun as he ran his hands over your stockings and garter belt, pushed aside your lacy underwear and had taken you right there and then, whispering to you all the while that now you were truly his.

The next day, you and Billy had flown from JFK to Ibiza in the Balearic Islands, Spain. He’d been surprised when you’d said where you wanted to go for your honeymoon. He thought you’d want to go to the Caribbean or the Maldives or suchlike. But you’d spent some very happy times there when you were on your travels a while back, and you knew he’d love the laid-back vibe of the island.

So he’d booked a luxurious villa for a whole month, in the pine-clad hills above a large cove with a beach called Cala Llonga, east of Ibiza Town. The aromatic scent in the air was truly intoxicating and you closed your eyes, inhaling it from the small breeze making its way through the bathroom window, open just a tiny bit.

You sighed happily; both workplaces had been asked to contact you only in a dire emergency and with Frank and Jake left in charge while you and Billy were on honeymoon, after initially being anxious about being away for so long you now felt surprisingly relaxed about it.

Washing your hands and making your way back to the bedroom, you smiled as you saw your new husband sprawled out on the bed, naked and looking at you with a devilish smirk on his handsome face.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy happily stretched out on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and hearing the water running in the bathroom in the background. The more he thought about it, the more he could hardly believe it - he’d actually managed to persuade her to marry him. He really thought he’d blown it when he’d proposed the first time. When she’d changed her mind and said ‘Yes’, he’d been so happy he thought he’d explode like a human hand grenade.

Still somewhat surprised about his complete turnaround from playboy to lovesick sap, he’d decided long before the wedding to just lie back and accept what the Fates had in store for him. Maybe they’d decided to give him some good karma for a change, after his solitary and loveless childhood and the difficulties he’d had after he left the Marines.

He thought back to just before the wedding ceremony, when Frank had been helping him tie his silver silky cravat after he’d put on his fancy morning suit and dress shirt. His big friend had suddenly clasped his shoulder, saying gruffly, “Bill.... you’ve finally got a chance to be ‘Happy Ever After’, y’know bud. Don’t fuck it up, whatever you do.”

Grabbing the big paw on his shoulder, he’d said sincerely, “I won’t, Frankie... believe me, I won’t.”

He’d also thought about a text he’d received the night before the wedding, and which he’d decided not to mention to his girl. Because it was from Madani. She’d heard the news about Billy getting married from Sam, who he’d met by chance in a local bar a few days before the wedding.

Typical vitriolic Madani, he thought. Saying how he was making a big mistake and he’d regret it in the end. Meaning, of course, because he hadn’t chosen her. Hadn’t even wished the two of you well, couldn’t bring herself to make even that small concession.

Bitch. He’d angrily deleted the text along with the whole string of her past messages, and had then deleted her contact details out of his phone. A feeling of great satisfaction had washed over him as he’d hit the ‘Delete Contact’ button on Dinah Madani. Gone and very definitely forgotten.

Now he looked over to see his angel walking back towards him, looking totally edible in her silky robe.

Grinning, he patted the sheet next to him, “C’mere, sweetheart....”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy grabbed your wrist, pulling you down next to him and pouncing on top of you. The robe came off again and he was kissing you hungrily, appetite undiminished even after your mutual athletics the night before. He ran his hands all over you, pulling your body closer against his, telling you how much he loved you, wanted you, needed you. Then he rolled over onto his back, grinning over at you, “C’mon, angel... I need you to ride me.”

Grinning back at him, “Might do,” you replied. He shook his head, “No, really.... angel... you need to do it and do it now.” You also lay down on your back, “What’s the consequences if I don’t?” you teased. He looked horrified, “You sayin’ No to me?” You shrugged, smirking. “Angel! Please.... what... uhhh... do I gotta beg?” You nodded, “I think you do.” So Billy sighed, getting up and then kneeling beside the bed, hands clasped together and held up in supplication to you, “Please, goddess, m’beggin’ you.... pleeeease! Please!”

From your lofty perch on the bed, you looked down at the male masterpiece currently on his knees in front of you. The early morning sun highlighted his sculpted muscles to perfection, including the delicious-looking erection he was sporting, and you couldn’t keep up the pretence any longer. You reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair, tugging on it several times as his now-grinning face looked up at you.

“Ahhh... so I got the green light, goddess?” You nodded imperiously, and he leapt up and onto the bed at the speed of light. You pushed his shoulders down into the pillows and climbed on top of him, seeing his eyes widen in anticipation. Leaning over, you slid your fingers to the back of his neck and began gently stroking, then took his ‘tache between your lips and sucked gently, before running your tongue over it and then sucking again. Hearing small whimpers coming from him, you moved on to the tufty bit of beard under his bottom lip, giving it the same treatment. Then you ran your tongue very slowly over his bottom lip and suddenly you heard an agonised ‘Fuck!” from Billy, and wetness spread over your stomach and thighs.

Sitting up, you looked down in surprise at the sheen you could see glinting on your skin. A very sheepish-looking Billy was gazing up at you, “Uhhh....m’sorry, angel,” he whispered, “....y’got me too excited.” He covered his eyes with one big hand, then you saw two dark chocolate eyes peeking out between his fingers at you. “Are you mad at me?” he asked, somewhat fearfully. You leant down and kissed his nose, “No! Course not, Billy.”

He slid his hand away from his face, “Really? Been goin’ on at you to ride me then don’t even get inside you before.....!” and he gestured at the pearly liquid on your skin. His face was tinged pink by now, “M’so embarrassed!” he wailed. “Honestly, Billy.... I’m not mad at you,” you said, tweaking his nose between finger and thumb before getting up and heading through to the bathroom. Grabbing a handful of baby wipes you went back to the bedroom, sitting on the bed and quickly cleaning yourself up before teasing Billy by running a baby wipe slowly and sensually along his velvety length. You heard some low soft moans from him, and knew it wouldn’t be very long before he was fully aroused again.

So you kept on stroking him. Laying the baby wipe aside, you continued using just your hand on him. “Sweetheart, what you tryin’ to do to me?” he asked in a breathy voice. “Oh, poppet.... I think you know exactly what I’m doing,” you smirked down at him, loving the way he looked at that moment, vulnerable and at your mercy, big wide eyes gazing up at you, lips parted slightly. You slid your hand in between his legs, taking hold of his balls, gently massaging and squeezing them while still working his cock with your other hand. He squirmed below you, breath catching in his throat, one hand going to the hand you were stroking him with and pulling it to the head of his cock. Taking the hint, you concentrated on it, squeezing and rubbing at it while Billy writhed under you, letting out a string of swears.

Then you decided to add a little something to the mix and leant down to lick him, letting your tongue drag over his tip back and forth with quite some force. Billy had cried out really quite loudly as you started doing that and you smiled, thinking he’d made a good point about having a private villa. You could both be really noisy when you wanted to be. Feeling him stiffening in your hand, you increased the speed and firmness of your stroking and also took him more fully into your mouth.

“Please.... sweetheart!” groaned Billy, “....gotta get inside you... please!!!” You could hear him beginning to pant so without further delay you guided him inside you, before sinking down onto his length. He gave a long low moan, while you gasped with pleasure as soon as he was fully sheathed inside you. Billy was giving out soft whimpering moans and began desperately thrusting up into you, hands running up the sides of your body onto your breasts and he began slowly massaging. In turn you started moving on him, hands on his chest, relishing the feeling of both his firm muscled body and how he filled you completely. “You...” Billy whispered, big dark eyes gazing up at you, “...you’re perfect for me, angel. Fit me like a glove.” His hand moved down to where your bodies were joined and began rubbing your clit with his thumb.

“Could say the same about you, Marine,” you breathed against his ear, leaning down and giving him a dirty open-mouthed kiss before moving your mouth onto his neck beard, and running your tongue over it. You felt Billy tense up and knew he was about to climax, and you felt your own orgasm building. Both of you were wound up tighter than springs! You wrapped your arms round your new husband’s shoulders and let the waves of pleasure roll over you.

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A lot later on, you and Billy strolled down to Cala Llonga and joined the small queue of people waiting on the little stone jetty for the water taxi to Ibiza Town. The boat was fairly small and you all crammed onto the wooden benches which filled most of it. Billy wrapped his arm round you, glaring at the Dutch guy sitting on the other side of you who’d been smiling and trying to make small talk with you. “We’re on honeymoon,” he growled at him, butting in just as the guy asked where you were staying. “Oh that’s great, congratulations!” he said, and you’d smiled at him, “Thank you.” Billy however was still glowering at the poor guy, so you elbowed him and he said reluctantly, “Yeah, thanks.”

You tried to distract Billy by pointing out several landmarks as the boat bobbed and puttered its way round the coast, and then the main town on the island came into sight as you rounded the last headland.

Billy gazed at the sight of the Dalt Vila (Old Town) in front of him and said in an awestruck voice, “Oh hey, that’s so pretty.” You smirked at him, “Told you you’d love it.” He looked back to you, “What’re our plans for this afternoon then?” Pleased that he was handing over the reins to you, smiling fondly at him you said, “Well, first of all I’m gonna make sure my hungry husband gets fed and watered. There are some lovely little outdoor restaurants along the marina.” You heard his stomach rumbling quietly as you mentioned food and he gave you a huge grin, “Now that’s what I call a plan.”

Stepping off the ferry, you guided him to one of the restaurants you’d eaten at before, and chose one of the tables at the front overlooking the yacht moorings. There were quite a few superyachts - some the size of small ocean liners - moored up so the oligarchs were in town, you thought to yourself.

The two of you enjoyed a leisurely lunch, before heading into the maze of narrow streets of the Old Town. Strolling right up to the old church at the very top of the hill, Billy oohing and ahhing at the whitewashed old houses and the view once you reached the church. He leant on the wall enclosing the courtyard in front of the church, looking out over the town, the two marinas and the surrounding hills and you heard a big happy sigh. He turned his head towards you, “This is perfect. You’re perfect. I love this place. And I love you.” He leant in for a kiss, and things started to get a bit raunchy before you heard a throat being cleared loudly behind you. The two of you broke apart, turning to find two elderly Spanish ladies glaring at you with outraged expressions on their faces.

You smiled at them, “Ah... lo siento, señoras, estamos en nuestra luna de miel.” Instantly, large smiles appeared on their faces and they moved away in a flurry of waving hands and staccato Spanish which you couldn’t quite catch. “What d’you say to them, sweetheart?” asked Billy. “That we’re on our honeymoon,” you grinned, “...didn’t understand all of the replies but rest assured, we’re forgiven!” He leaned in, “Well, reckon we should pick up where we left off then,” mouth back on yours. You surreptitiously ran a hand over the zip of his jeans and felt an interesting bulge there, hearing his low gasp, “Okay, but we better leave most of it till we get back to the villa... otherwise we’ll get arrested!” He sighed, nuzzling your neck, “Couldn’t we just go down one of these little streets an’.....” Laughing, you walked away holding out your hand to him, “No we can’t! C‘mon, tiger,” and with a pout firmly in place he followed, taking your hand in his.

Heading back down through Dalt Vila into the main part of town, you came to Paseo Vara de Rey, a wide, short tree-lined boulevard near the marina. In the evenings, the locals would come here for their before-dinner strolls, stopping for a chat with friends or a quick aperitif. It was just starting to get a bit busier as locals and tourists alike came along to enjoy the late afternoon sun.

You and Billy joined the strolling groups of people, looking in the shop windows and at people sitting in the open-air café sections, gradually making your way towards the marina end of the Paseo. Steering him towards a large hotel situated on the corner of Vara de Rey and into the cool white interior of its bar, you suggested he might want to buy you a cocktail. Leaning on the bar, he grinned at you, “Okay, I will... but then can we go back to the villa?”

“But why do you want to go back to the villa, Billy? I thought you were having a nice time here in town?” “I am!” he protested, “...and you know perfectly well why I wanna go back!” said with an accompanying eyebrow wiggle, “...we’re on our honeymoon!”

One of the barmen overheard him, “Ah, señor y señora! Let us make you very special cocktails in celebration of your wedding!!” Bill looked round, embarrassed, “Oh no.. s’okay, honestly - we’re fine, thanks.” Shaking his head vigorously, the barman grabbed a couple of cocktail shakers and tossed one of them to his co-worker, “But we must! It will take just a few moments.”

Then there was a flurry of pouring, shaking, ice, fruit and citrus slices being added before a couple of glasses were placed on the bar in front of you with a flourish. You and Billy eyed each other before taking a sip from your drinks. It was pleasant enough - you could taste rum and fruit - but not particularly what you’d’ve chosen for yourself. However, in the same spirit as the drinks were offered, you both made appreciative noises and thanked them profusely, before escaping to a table by the window overlooking Vara de Rey. Sitting down, Billy chuckled, “I guess I better learn to keep my big trap shut!” You agreed, “You’re forgetting that most of the locals speak really good English, so don’t be giving away any more of our secrets!” “What... like the fact you love my dick and think it’s really pretty?” he sniggered, while you slapped his arm, looking round quickly to make sure no-one had heard him.

Seeing no-one within earshot, you leant forward and said, “No... more like you telling me you’re in love with my ‘perfect pussy’ and how you’d be inside me 24/7 if you could be!” He snorted out some of his drink, and the two of you just sat and laughed at each other for a few moments in sheer happiness. “I love you,” he said, serious all of a sudden. “I mean, like really love you.” You smiled at him over the rim of your glass, “Well that’s good, Russo, cos I love you. Like, really love you.” Again, you sat looking at each other with goofy grins on your faces. You caught sight of both barmen looking over at you and smirking so you finished the last of your cocktail, purposefully making a noisy sucking sound through your straw as you did. “Hey, Billy... will we have one more drink and then head back?”

His eyes lit up, “Yeah!!! What d’ya want to drink this time round, angel?” “I’ll just have a mojito, please.” A few minutes later, a luscious mojito-filled glass was placed in front of you, while Billy had decided on a Sidecar, which he polished off in a few quick gulps and then sat looking expectantly at you. Shaking your head and laughing at him, you said, “I won’t be downing my lovely mojito as if it was a beer, Billy. I will be sipping it in a ladylike manner.” His face fell, “Oh.” “You’ll just have to be patient, loverboy.” He perked up a bit, “But if I’m a good patient boy, I’ll get a nice reward when we get back to the villa, yeah?” You patted his silky-haired head, “Yes, you will,” and couldn’t resist tugging on a few locks of it while you were at it. His grin grew devilish, “You wanna tug on something else, angel?” You slid your hand onto his thigh under the table, giving him a very innocent smile, “No, I am not going to lower the tone of this fancy hotel bar by misbehaving, Mr Russo.” His hand covered yours on his thigh and pulled it up onto his zip, “Well, I haveta say I’m very disappointed, Mrs Russo,” before bringing your hand up to his lips and kissing it, putting on his best puppydog eyes and pout.

You had to admit, a frisson of excitement had run through you as he’d done that - Billy had made sure you realised he had an impressive erection. So in fact you picked up your mojito and drained the glass like a sailor who’d just hit a bar after six months at sea. “Okay, Billy,” you smirked, “....you win. Let’s go, tiger.” Billy sprang up from the table and pulled you by the hand towards the door, waving over at the barmen as he went, while you gave them a smile as you passed them.

Then you had to contend with an impatient Billy, pacing up and down at the marina while you were waiting on the water taxi back to Cala Llonga. Eventually it appeared, and Billy hustled you on board, making you sit at the back and beginning to kiss you as he boxed you into the corner seat. More passengers joined soon though and you pushed him back slightly, “Billy.... behave, please. We don’t want to upset any more people with PDA’s.” He grinned, “Okay, okay, I’ll keep my hands and my mouth to myself ... for now.” As the boat began to manoeuvre backwards and away from the quayside, you pointed at the town, “So, what did you think of Ibiza Town then?” Billy nodded, “Yeah, I loved it. It’s beautiful. But y’know, as long as you’re with me.... wherever we are, that’s what I really love.” You poked him in the side, “You big sap!” you laughed and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, “...but you’re my big sap, as they say.”

Those gorgeous dark eyes of his sparkled back at you, and his hand stroked your cheek, “Yeah I am, sweetheart... and that’s the most important thing. It’s all anyone needs to know about us. I’m yours, and you’re mine. And we’re in love. And together. Forever.” You put your lips next to his ear, “Yes, Billy... forever,” you whispered as the little boat carried the two of you away into the gathering dusk.

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Additional A/N: Hope you enjoyed this little journey with Billy and his sweetheart. All I ever wanted for Billy Russo was for him to be happy. Maybe we’ll meet these two again, who knows? Thanks so much for reading.

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@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry

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#ben barnes #billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine

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delphinidin4 · 3 years

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“Abominable neglect and unkindness”: Fanny Price and Trauma

I have C-PTSD, and it’s really been on my mind as I’ve been rereading Mansfield Park by Jane Austen: her heroine of Fanny Price is so OBVIOUSLY traumatized that I started making notes upon notes upon notes in my kindle copy on her symptoms and their causes. A couple of my followers said they’d be interested to read my analysis if I wrote it up, and it doesn’t take much to encourage me to put a few thousand words on the page screen! So below is my (probably WAY too long) analysis of Fanny Price’s emotional trauma and complex PTSD (a form of PTSD often caused by long-term emotional abuse/neglect). It’s hella long. sorrynotsorry lol

*unleashes inner academic*

Part 1: How Fanny Price Was Traumatized

Trauma 1: She is taken from family and home.

Okay, imagine this: You’re ten years old. You grew up in a noisy, lower-middle-class family with multiple little siblings and both your parents. You are the oldest girl, and are important to all the members of your family because you act as “playfellow, instructress, and nurse” to your younger siblings. You are also “exceedingly timid and shy”. And suddenly you find out that your mother is SENDING YOU AWAY--far, far away--to aunts and uncle and cousins you’ve never met before, to be raised by THEM instead of your parents. Leaving everything else out of the equation for a second, that by itself would be ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATING. You would feel like your parents didn’t love you and didn’t want you. You weren’t important to them. You might wonder what you did wrong to be sent away. And THEN it turns out you’re NEVER COMING BACK. EVER. Fanny doesn’t see her family again until she is, I think nineteen years old. At first, she doesn’t even have the means to write to her brother William, which was to be her ONLY connection to her family: it seems her parents don’t write to her at all over the course of the novel.

All of this would be bad enough. But to come to a place that was entirely alien to everything you had known... I mean, think about it. This is Mansfield Park, an ENORMOUS house with MANY servants, a completely different way of doing things. There’s MONEY. Even the items around you are of a totally different quality than you’re used to: Austen says of Fanny’s initial impression of Mansfield, “The grandeur of the house astonished, but could not console her. The rooms were too large for her to move in with ease: whatever she touched she expected to injure, and she crept about in constant terror of something or other; often retreating towards her own chamber to cry.” The accent people speak with is probably different. The vocabulary is probably different. And everybody DEFINITELY thought she was under-educated (more about this in a bit) because she didn’t have the education of a gentleman’s daughter--because she ISN’T a gentleman’s daughter. It must have caused her intense culture shock.

Trauma 2: William’s absence

It’s clear that in her childhood in Portsmouth, William is the dearest member of Fanny’s family (see below for a discussion of her parents). When Fanny first arrives at Mansfield, Edmund discovers that,

dear as all these brothers and sisters generally were, there was one among them who ran more in her thoughts than the rest. It was William whom she talked of most, and wanted most to see. William, the eldest, a year older than herself, her constant companion and friend; her advocate with her mother (of whom he was the darling) in every distress. ‘William did not like she should come away; he had told her he should miss her very much indeed.’

Fanny’s one really warm and loving connection seems to be with William, and she is parted from him, first by her move to Mansfield, and then by his going to sea:

Once, and once only, in the course of many years, had she the happiness of being with William. Of the rest [of her Portsmouth family] she saw nothing: nobody seemed to think of her ever going amongst them again, even for a visit, nobody at home seemed to want her; but William determining, soon after her removal, to be a sailor, was invited to spend a week with his sister in Northamptonshire before he went to sea. Their eager affection in meeting, their exquisite delight in being together, their hours of happy mirth, and moments of serious conference, may be imagined; as well as ...the misery of the girl when he left her. Luckily the visit happened in the Christmas holidays, when she could directly look for comfort to her cousin Edmund.

Fanny continues a correspondence with William when he is at sea, but it’s clear that his long absence from her life is very difficult for her.

One final note on her being parted from her family for long intervals: I think we might actually see a sign of this trauma in an emotional flashback later in the book.

For those unfamiliar with complex PTSD, flashbacks don’t always mean that you have a sort of hallucination of a traumatic experience. In the case of complex PTSD and PTSD from early childhood trauma, flashbacks often occur in the form of “emotional flashbacks”: instead of re-experiencing the sensory input of the traumatic experience (seeing and hearing the experience all over again when triggered), emotional flashbacks consist ONLY of the emotional content of the trauma. They result in sudden rushes of negative emotions such as fear, shame, sorrow, despair, embarrassment, anger, etc. This may be partly because the trigger is acting on so many different traumatic memories at once (the brain can’t just pick out one to show to you) and partly because the traumatic memory being triggered is from so early in your childhood that you don’t have a direct memory of it anymore, just the trauma memory. Emotional flashbacks can be identified by comparing the emotional response to the stimulus: If the emotion is inappropriate for the situation or inappropriately intense, it may well be a flashback.

In this scene, Miss Crawford--whom Fanny does not care for at all--is taking her leave of Fanny: I find it to be illuminating.

And embracing her very affectionately, “Good, gentle Fanny! when I think of this being the last time of seeing you for I do not know how long, I feel it quite impossible to do anything but love you.”

Fanny was affected. She had not foreseen anything of this, and her feelings could seldom withstand the melancholy influence of the word “last.” She cried as if she had loved Miss Crawford more than she possibly could.

It sounds to me as if Fanny is having a negative reaction that is out of proportion for and inappropriate to the situation. Miss Crawford is leaving, and Fanny is GLAD that she is leaving. Nonetheless, she is involuntarily emotionally “affected” by Miss Crawford’s goodbye, and cries far more than is actually in keeping with her feelings. It seems like Fanny is triggered by the leave-taking and “the melancholy influence of the word ‘last’.” Fanny has had traumatic leave-takings from her family and her beloved William; and things like “This is the last time I’ll see you for who knows how long” must have been said to her before in intensely traumatic situations. So it’s no wonder she gets triggered by this situation’s similarity to those and has an out-sized emotional response. Separations from her family and from William were definitely traumatic to her and reminders of them now trigger trauma responses.

Trauma 3: Emotional neglect by parental figures

Fanny might not have been so badly traumatized by leaving her family and being separated from William if she had had emotional support from adult caregivers. Research has shown that if a child has even ONE adult to whom they can talk openly about their feelings, that can insulate them against the effects of trauma.

Fanny doesn’t have this. Both Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram are emotionally neglectful and distant.* Lady Bertram is pleasant, but is entirely self-centered and doesn’t really GAF about anybody or anything that doesn’t directly affect her. While she never abuses or hurts Fanny with unkindness, she also never comforts her, listens to her, or seems to do anything but get Fanny to fetch and carry for her and do half her sewing for her. There is a total lack of emotional connection between them until considerably later in the story.

[*Footnote: Miss Lee is surprisingly absent from the narrative and seems to be of no emotional support to Fanny whatsoever.]

Sir Thomas is worse. While he intends to take good care of Fanny--and to his credit, he does make sure she has her material needs met, is well educated, gets exercise, etc--he cannot be said to be NICE to her. Even when she first arrives, when he is trying his hardest to be kind, Austen says, “Sir Thomas, seeing how much she needed encouragement, tried to be all that was conciliating: but he had to work against a most untoward gravity of deportment.” He’s not good with kids, and he seems to be highly critical of Fanny, especially before his return from Antigua. Apparently he used to terrify her in childhood by catechizing her on her lessons in French in English, which implies he constantly found her wanting. His parting words to her on the beginning of his voyage to Antigua are downright scalding: “If William does come to Mansfield, I hope you may be able to convince him that the many years which have passed since you parted have not been spent on your side entirely without improvement; though, I fear, he must find his sister at sixteen in some respects too much like his sister at ten.”

JFC, Tommy-boy. Throttle back a little, can’t you?

He’s not popular even with his own daughters: Austen says of Maria and Julia, “Their father was no object of love to them; he had never seemed the friend of their pleasures, and his absence was unhappily most welcome. They were relieved by it from all restraint”. Sir Thomas comes across as a bit of a martinet, always finding fault and always saying no. At best, he doesn’t seem to be at all warm and encouraging, and appears to be almost entirely ignorant, not only of what Fanny’s character is like, but also about his own daughters’ characters.

There’s also the problem of his lack of understanding and compassion for Fanny. She describes him as “all that was clever and good,” but both his cleverness and goodness frequently seem to be lacking. He doesn’t understand Fanny’s feelings any more than he understands those of Maria, sending Edmund to sound Fanny out on the subject of Mr. Crawford because he CANNOT understand how a woman might not love a man that was clever, pleasant and rich. While he provided the money to raise Fanny, his disregard of her is clear when he sends her on a long visit to Portsmouth, where her health suffers. Even Crawford recognizes Sir Thomas’s likeliness to neglect her:

I know Mansfield, I know its way, I know its faults towards you. I know the danger of your being so far forgotten, as to have your comforts give way to the imaginary convenience of any single being in the family. I am aware that you may be left here week after week, if Sir Thomas cannot settle everything ... without involving the slightest alteration of the arrangements which he may have laid down for the next quarter of a year.

Sir Thomas, while priding himself (and being praised by others) as being so kind and clever, has low emotional intelligence and too little care for Fanny. Despite his occasional kindnesses, and her claim on his care as his direct dependent, she is not one of his priorities.

Of course, Fanny’s own parents would have had the strongest effects on her earliest years (especially considering the Prices didn’t seem to have a nanny or governess, so Mrs. Price would have been responsible for all her education, as well). It’s clear that Fanny’s mother didn’t show her much love in her early childhood: Mrs. Price is described as

“the ‘mama’ who had certainly shewn no remarkable fondness for her formerly; but this [Fanny] could easily suppose to have been her own fault or her own fancy. She had probably alienated love by the helplessness and fretfulness of a fearful temper, or been unreasonable in wanting a larger share than any one among so many could deserve.”

We can see Fanny here doing what so many emotionally neglected children do, making excuses for their parents and assuming that the emotional neglect and abuse they suffer are somehow THEIR fault. Many emotionally abused or neglected children believe that they’re too loud, too needy, too much, and even ugly, blaming themselves for their parents’ rejecting and disgusted behavior toward them.

It’s proven, however, when Fanny goes home, that her parents are just as neglectful of her as she felt them to be formerly. Her father is “negligent of his family”, and her mother clearly does not really love her:

Mrs. Price was not unkind; but, instead of gaining on her affection and confidence, and becoming more and more dear, her daughter never met with greater kindness from her than on the first day of her arrival. The instinct of nature was soon satisfied, and Mrs. Price’s attachment had no other source. Her heart and her time were already quite full; she had neither leisure nor affection to bestow on Fanny. Her daughters never had been much to her.* She was fond of her sons, especially of William, but Betsey was the first of her girls whom she had ever much regarded. To her she was most injudiciously indulgent. William was her pride; Betsey her darling; and John, Richard, Sam, Tom, and Charles occupied all the rest of her maternal solicitude, alternately her worries and her comforts. These shared her heart: her time was given chiefly to her house and her servants.

[*Footnote: I have to stop here for a moment and mention poor Susan, whom I like better at every reading. With Mrs. Price only loving her sons and Betsy, with Mary dead and Fanny gone, Susan was for years THE ONLY completely unloved child in the house, which must have been pretty awful. It’s clear that Fanny and Susan have suffered rather similar fates in being raised without love, and Susan only responds more with irritation and Fanny more with tears: “Susan was only acting on the same truths, and pursuing the same system, which [Fanny’s] own judgment acknowledged, but which her more supine and yielding temper would have shrunk from asserting. Susan tried to be useful, where she could only have gone away and cried”. Please tell me somebody’s written a sequel about Susan?]

Again, while Mr. and Mrs. Price are not CRUEL, they’re not KIND, either. They are deeply emotionally neglectful toward Susan and Fanny, and Mrs. Price shows favoritism for the rest of her children, thus hurting her daughters further. Fanny’s probable surmise when she was sent away that she was not loved or wanted by her parents unfortunately appears to be very true. While an adult like Fanny can rationalize such behavior by her parents (even if it pains her), a child cannot do so, and the Prices’ lack of love for their own daughter must have been traumatizing and contributed to her belief that she can never matter to anybody (more on this in a bit).

Trauma 4: Lack of Companionship: Maria and Julia (and Miss Lee)

Fanny’s education when she arrives at Mansfield is not that of a gentlewoman--hardly surprising, given both her family’s socioeconomic position and her mother’s busy-ness with her family and general indolence. Maria and Julia’s education on scholarly subjects is clearly much stronger (they’re also 2-3 years older than her), and we know that their moral education was neglected, so that they only care about whether Fanny is rich and well-educated like themselves:

They could not but hold her cheap on finding that she had but two sashes, and had never learned French; and when they perceived her to be little struck with the duet they were so good as to play, they could do no more than make her a generous present of some of their least valued toys, and leave her to herself, while they adjourned to whatever might be the favourite holiday sport of the moment, making artificial flowers or wasting gold paper.

They’re generous enough to give her presents (though their least-valued belongings), but not generous enough to actually spend time with her, and it appears that this pattern holds throughout Fanny’s time at Mansfield.

At first, Mrs. Norris, Sir Thomas, and Miss Lee all think her actually stupid instead of just ill-educated: we are told that not only did Miss Lee “[wonder] at her ignorance,” but

A mean opinion of her abilities was not confined to [Sir Thomas and Mrs. Norris]. Fanny could read, work [that means “sew”], and write, but she had been taught nothing more; and as her cousins found her ignorant of many things with which they had been long familiar, they thought her prodigiously stupid, and for the first two or three weeks were continually bringing some fresh report of it into the drawing-room.

You would think that the adults at least would realize that Fanny hadn’t had the opportunity of a gentlewoman’s education, but no, they attribute it to natural stupidity instead of opportunity:

“My dear,” their considerate aunt would reply, “it is very bad, but you must not expect everybody to be as forward and quick at learning as yourself.”

It is only Edmund who perceives that Fanny is not only NOT stupid, she’s actually clever:

He knew her to be clever, to have a quick apprehension as well as good sense, and a fondness for reading, which, properly directed, must be an education in itself. Miss Lee taught her French, and heard her read the daily portion of history; but he recommended the books which charmed her leisure hours, he encouraged her taste, and corrected her judgment: he made reading useful by talking to her of what she read, and heightened its attraction by judicious praise.

One wonders, if a sixteen-year-old boy hadn’t decided to undertake part of Fanny’s education himself, how much worse off would she have been?

That Fanny’s companionship fell almost entirely to a teenage boy six years her senior who spends most of the year away at boarding school/university, is a ringing indictment of the behavior of Maria and Julia, and of those who should have been encouraging them to make a friend of their cousin.

Trauma 5: Mrs Norris (who gets a fucking section all her own)

Here we are. We’ve finally come to it. The other four traumas would certainly have been sufficient to cause C-PTSD, but JFC, Mrs. Norris could have caused it all by her lonesome. While she comes across as amusing in Austen’s sardonic style, she is absolutely toxic for Fanny’s mental health.

Mrs. Norris seems to have had an out-sized effect on the three Mansfield girls. Generally, mothers were in charge of the education of their daughters (even if indirectly, through a governess), so while Sir Thomas did examine them on their lessons, it was really supposed to be Lady Bertram’s job to see to their practical and moral education. But Lady Bertram is an absolute zero, a completely passive character, and Austen says directly that, “To the education of her daughters Lady Bertram paid not the smallest attention.” So it seems like the much more active Mrs. Norris stepped in, and her influence was extremely strong with all three of them, despite her being married and having her own house and her own concerns for the first seven or so years of Fanny’s time at Mansfield.

We can see her influence with all three in the fact that all three of the Mansfield girls end up evaluating themselves in almost perfect accordance to how Mrs. Norris evaluated them. Maria, the golden child*, became very spoiled and proud and thought she could do almost whatever she wanted. Fanny, the scapegoat, came to believe that her only worth was in being “useful” (Mrs. Norris’s hobby-horse) and that she could never be of any importance to anybody. And Julia, while closer to Maria’s level of treatment than Fanny’s, also suffers from comparisons to the golden child:

That Julia escaped better than Maria was owing, in some measure, to a favourable difference of disposition and circumstance, but in a greater to her having been less the darling of that very aunt, less flattered and less spoilt. Her beauty and acquirements had held but a second place. She had been always used to think herself a little inferior to Maria.

[*footnote: Treating one child as the golden child and one as the scapegoat is a very common tactic of abusive caregivers. The scapegoat becomes entirely worn down in self-esteem so that she is powerless to fight back against the abuse. The golden child and other children see how the scapegoat is treated and try hard not to rock the boat because they don’t want to end up like that.]

Mrs. Norris teaches Fanny from the beginning to judge and reject her own natural emotions. On her first traumatic separation from her family, Mrs. Norris lectures her incessantly on how she ought to be HAPPY, not sad:

Mrs. Norris had been talking to her the whole way from Northampton of her wonderful good fortune, and the extraordinary degree of gratitude and good behaviour which it ought to produce, and her consciousness of misery was therefore increased by the idea of its being a wicked thing for her not to be happy.

Fanny is taught to regard her own natural feelings as “wicked”, especially when they are a negative reaction to how the Bertram/Norris family treats her. While she can see some of her own feelings as just--when they have been sanctioned by Edmund’s judgment--any feeling that tends away from perfect gratitude toward the Bertram/Norris family she immediately rejects as an immoral response. She frequently takes herself to task at these moments. Anger and resentment are natural responses meant to help us protect ourselves against mistreatment from others, and this self-defending response is entirely squelched by Mrs. Norris’s behavior to her.

Mrs. Norris’s behavior toward Fanny is not only emotionally abusive; it is also at least physically neglectful, if not physically abusive. Despite the fact that everyone agrees that Fanny “is not strong”, Mrs. Norris makes a lot of difficulties in Edmund’s attempts to make sure Fanny has a horse to ride, and also refuses to allow Fanny a fire in the East Room, even in the middle of winter, a privation that ever Sir Thomas thinks bad enough that he countermands it--though doing so with a little explanatory disclaimer to Fanny explaining why Mrs. Norris MEANS well and why Fanny shouldn’t dare to be angry, or indeed anything but immensely and forever grateful for their neglectful treatment of her:

Your aunt Norris has always been an advocate, and very judiciously, for young people’s being brought up without unnecessary indulgences; but there should be moderation in everything. She is also very hardy herself, which of course will influence her in her opinion of the wants of others. And on another account, too, I can perfectly comprehend. I know what her sentiments have always been. The principle was good in itself, but it may have been, and I believe has been, carried too far in your case. I am aware that there has been sometimes, in some points, a misplaced distinction; but I think too well of you, Fanny, to suppose you will ever harbour resentment on that account. You have an understanding which will prevent you from receiving things only in part, and judging partially by the event. You will take in the whole of the past, you will consider times, persons, and probabilities, and you will feel that they were not least your friends who were educating and preparing you for that mediocrity of condition which seemed to be your lot. Though their caution may prove eventually unnecessary, it was kindly meant; and of this you may be assured, that every advantage of affluence will be doubled by the little privations and restrictions that may have been imposed. I am sure you will not disappoint my opinion of you, by failing at any time to treat your aunt Norris with the respect and attention that are due to her.

~*GAAASSSSS-LIGHTINNNNGGGGGGG*~

“Oh, shit, you’ve been freezing to death here for years because your aunt’s an abusive asshole. Oh, but there are three million excuses for her, and also you’re SO GOOD AND GRATEFUL that I KNOW you’ll never allow yourself to see it for the abuse it was, and aren’t you so GRATEFUL to us all for everything we’ve done for you? We MEANT well. And being abused was good for you anyway. If you ever get mad at your abusers I’ll treat you with withering criticism.”

*gagggg* I could write an entire essay explicating the gaslighting in that passage ALONE.

I could go on and on about Mrs. Norris’s abusive behavior toward Fanny, but I think most of it’s perfectly obvious to the reader. I think a very interesting argument might be made on whether Mrs. Norris would count as having a form of narcissistic personality disorder--always worried about her own importance, living through her golden child Maria, taking everything out on her scapegoat, insisting always on associating her own value with that of Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram and insisting on Fanny’s status being lower because her own self-esteem is dependent on being as good as her sister Bertram and better than her sister Price. Might be interesting.

Part 2: Fanny Price’s Trauma Responses

Complex emotional trauma expresses itself in a number of symptoms and behaviors. We’ve already talked about emotional flashbacks, and I’m going to look at four more major aspects of Fanny’s trauma responses.

Anxiety and Hypervigilance

People with PTSD often suffer from hypervigilance, where their body is constantly on high alert for threats in their environment. These threats are not only physical threats (resulting in things like jumping really hard at sudden noises) but also interpersonal threats. For instance, whenever I hear people talking really quietly in my house, I stop whatever I’m doing and listen REALLY HARD because I’m worried they’re talking about me and it’s gonna be bad.

Fanny exhibits this same behavior when she has retreated to the East Room when Crawford is in the house to propose to her:

She sat some time in a good deal of agitation, listening, trembling, and fearing to be sent for every moment; but as no footsteps approached the East room, she grew gradually composed, could sit down, and be able to employ herself, and able to hope that Mr. Crawford had come and would go without her being obliged to know anything of the matter.

Nearly half an hour had passed, and she was growing very comfortable, when suddenly the sound of a step in regular approach was heard; a heavy step, an unusual step in that part of the house: it was her uncle’s; she knew it as well as his voice; she had trembled at it as often, and began to tremble again, at the idea of his coming up to speak to her, whatever might be the subject. It was indeed Sir Thomas who opened the door and asked if she were there, and if he might come in. The terror of his former occasional visits to that room seemed all renewed, and she felt as if he were going to examine her again in French and English.

Her trembling at the sound of her uncle’s footsteps looks like hypervigilance, and the fact of her childhood “terror” being “renewed” sounds like she’s having another flashback, since she so strongly associates the presence of her uncle in the East Room with those painful childhood visits. She reacts with physical symptoms of stress, trembling at his approach.

Fanny’s anxiety and hypervigilance also demonstrates itself in her being constantly convinced that people are going to be angry with her. When she turns Mr. Crawford down, for instance, she is CONVINCED that Miss Crawford is going to be furious with her, and fears to meet with her. Edmund tells her Miss Crawford isn’t REALLY angry with her, but cannot convince her:

The promised visit from “her friend,” as Edmund called Miss Crawford, was a formidable threat to Fanny, and she lived in continual terror of it. As a sister, so partial and so angry, and so little scrupulous of what she said... she was in every way an object of painful alarm. ...The dependence of having others present when they met was Fanny’s only support in looking forward to it. She absented herself as little as possible from Lady Bertram, kept away from the East room, and took no solitary walk in the shrubbery, in her caution to avoid any sudden attack.

Fanny is so terrified of a polite confrontation with Miss Crawford, whom she has never seen angry before, that she spends DAYS trying to never be alone so that she’ll feel protected by the presence of company! Of course, when Miss Crawford DOES visit, she’s nothing but friendly. But Fanny’s PTSD couldn’t allow her to believe that until it happened. Her anxiety is intense, and this sort of thing happens repeatedly over the course of the novel.

Over-accommodation of others / people-pleasing

Childhood emotional trauma frequently leads to people-pleasing behavior: doing what you do not want to do simply because someone else wants you to. To understand this, you have to put yourself into the point of view of a very young child or an infant. Children depend entirely on their caregivers for survival: they are aware of this on an instinctive level. If the caregiver shows them very conditional love, only appearing pleased with them when the child does things they like and displeased when the child does things that inconvenience them, the child quickly learns that they need to please their caregivers in order to survive. “Mom gets angry when I cry--Mom doesn’t like me to cry--if Mom gets angry at me, I could starve to death--I need to not cry.” Obviously this line of thinking happens on a subconscious rather than a conscious level, but it’s incredibly powerful nonetheless. I have found myself in situations where a person with some kind of power over me--a doctor, for instance--shows displeasure with something I say to them, and I INSTANTLY find myself backing off, making light of it, taking back everything I said, etc, even though I very much meant it and it needed to be said. The people-pleasing instinct is very strong and difficult to overcome.

In Fanny’s case, it isn’t just a matter of her caregivers showing her inconsistent love in early childhood. Even as an adult, she is fully aware that she needs to please the Bertrams, or she--and her family!--are SCREWED. She is entirely financially dependent on the Bertrams. If she displeases them, not only can they make her life at Mansfield even MORE uncomfortable than it already is, but they can send her back to Portsmouth. Even worse, they could stop their financial support of William and the financial support they are periodically sending to the rest of her family. Huge things hang on Fanny’s pleasing the Bertrams, and it’s small wonder she has developed the habit of trying to please everybody constantly (even her un-pleasable Aunt Norris).

Fanny repeatedly does things she doesn’t want to do, simply because someone asks or tells her to, even if there’s likely to be no major consequences if she doesn’t. One example is on Miss Crawford’s last visit to Mansfield, when Fanny is trying her darnedest to avoid speaking with her alone:

[Miss Crawford] was determined to see Fanny alone, and therefore said to her tolerably soon, in a low voice, “I must speak to you for a few minutes somewhere”; words that Fanny felt all over her, in all her pulses and all her nerves. Denial was impossible. Her habits of ready submission, on the contrary, made her almost instantly rise and lead the way out of the room. She did it with wretched feelings, but it was inevitable.

Fanny doesn’t want to talk to Miss Crawford alone. Fanny doesn’t NEED to talk to Miss Crawford alone. Fanny could stall, perhaps until Miss Crawford left. Nonetheless, the MOMENT Miss Crawford asks it of her, Fanny does it--even though she’s clearly terrified, feeling it “in all her pulses and all her nerves” (more on this physical reaction later). She acts almost like Ella Enchanted: she literally can’t say no.

Likewise, she doesn’t take opportunities she is offered to do things that she DOES wish to do. After a very long description of how much she wants to dance one evening, when her only chance of a partner is Tom, the following exchange occurs:

When he had told of his horse, [Tom] took a newspaper from the table, and looking over it, said in a languid way, “If you want to dance, Fanny, I will stand up with you.” With more than equal civility the offer was declined; she did not wish to dance. “I am glad of it,” said he, in a much brisker tone, and throwing down the newspaper again, “for I am tired to death.”

Fanny DOES want to dance, and the way that he worded the question, she could very well have said, “Yes, please,” and gotten up to dance with him. He has made it obvious that he doesn’t want to dance, and she has picked up on this and said--not only that they don’t have to dance, but the LIE that she doesn’t WANT to dance--in order to please him. Later Austen points Tom out as a hypocrite when he complains, “It raises my spleen more than anything, to have the pretence of being asked, of being given a choice, and at the same time addressed in such a way as to oblige one to do the very thing, whatever it be!” But while it is true that Tom left Fanny LITTLE choice in the matter, it is also true that a stronger character, like Miss Crawford, could probably have found a way to say that she DID want to dance, even with such an unencouraging questioner. Fanny cannot do this: she has been conditioned all her life to give in to people--because her very SURVIVAL has depended on it.

In particular, Mrs. Norris has squelched Fanny’s independence of spirit very firmly. At one point she observes, very unfairly,

There is a something about Fanny, I have often observed it before—she likes to go her own way to work; she does not like to be dictated to; she takes her own independent walk whenever she can; she certainly has a little spirit of secrecy, and independence, and nonsense, about her, which I would advise her to get the better of.”

As a general reflection on Fanny, Sir Thomas thought nothing could be more unjust.

Obviously, Mrs. Norris is completely wrong about this. But as long as she can project* the fault of independence on Fanny, and punish Fanny for this false fault, she can prevent her from ever developing it. By picking on the least little supposed sign of independence and harping on it for ages, Mrs. Norris can prevent Fanny from ever developing a will of her own.

[*Footnote: this is another thing narcissists do: they project their own bad behavior on to others. Mrs. Norris is definitely not secretive, but she is very “independent” and has a lot of “nonsense”--instead of consulting with others about what they actually need in any given situation, she TELLS them. She has no spirit of cooperation, and all her “services” to others tend to be officious and useless.]

Low self-esteem

I thought about putting this together with the section on Mrs. Norris, because Fanny’s self-esteem has been so much shaped by her aunt. This is the kind of message Mrs. Norris is constantly drilling into her about the lowness of her importance:

The nonsense and folly of people’s stepping out of their rank and trying to appear above themselves, makes me think it right to give you a hint, Fanny, now that you are going into company without any of us; and I do beseech and entreat you not to be putting yourself forward, and talking and giving your opinion as if you were one of your cousins—as if you were dear Mrs. Rushworth or Julia. That will never do, believe me. Remember, wherever you are, you must be the lowest and last.

This message is so entirely in keeping with the messages Mrs. Norris has been indoctrinating Fanny with over the years that she has fully internalized it. When a primary caregiver tells you over and over again that you do not matter to anyone, you come to believe it:

[Fanny:] “I can never be important to any one.”

[Edmund:] “What is to prevent you?”

“Everything. My situation, my foolishness and awkwardness.”

“As to your foolishness and awkwardness, my dear Fanny, believe me, you never have a shadow of either, but in using the words so improperly. There is no reason in the world why you should not be important where you are known. You have good sense, and a sweet temper, and I am sure you have a grateful heart, that could never receive kindness without wishing to return it. I do not know any better qualifications for a friend and companion.”

“You are too kind,” said Fanny, colouring at such praise; “how shall I ever thank you as I ought, for thinking so well of me.”

Fanny’s “I can never be important to any one” sounds very much like a triggered teenager sobbing, “Nobody will ever love me!” even while friends next to her are demonstrating that they DO love her. The survivor of this kind of abuse comes to a place where their beliefs do not reflect reality because their beliefs instead reflect the intense emotional rejection they have received from their main caregivers*. Fanny is important to Edmund, William, and Lady Bertram, but is convinced that she not only is NOT important to ANYONE, but never CAN be. She also convinced that she is foolish and awkward, probably by the early experiences at Mansfield when she didn’t know all the intricate rules of high society and was far behind Maria and Julia in her education. Fanny, though she is extremely shy, manages to carry off most things with surprising grace, and she is clever and has a wisdom and common sense in some things far beyond her years. Yet she is CERTAIN that she is “foolish and awkward”, because she has been repeatedly called so by authority figures in her life and almost all of her family at Mansfield.

[*Footnote: these extreme beliefs are often couched in “black-and-white” language: “EVERYBODY hates me, NOBODY loves me, I’ll NEVER be able to do it right, I’ll be alone FOREVER”. We can hear this in Fanny’s “I can NEVER be of importance to ANY ONE”.]

Fanny not only thinks very lowly of herself, she also is afraid of being praised or of anything that could possibly raise her self-esteem. For instance, in a discussion with Edmund, she explains why she never wants anybody to notice her:

[Edmund:] “Your uncle is disposed to be pleased with you in every respect; and I only wish you would talk to him more. You are one of those who are too silent in the evening circle.”

[Fanny:] “But I do talk to him more than I used. I am sure I do. Did not you hear me ask him about the slave-trade last night?”

“I did—and was in hopes the question would be followed up by others. It would have pleased your uncle to be inquired of farther.”

“And I longed to do it—but there was such a dead silence! And while my cousins were sitting by without speaking a word, or seeming at all interested in the subject, I did not like—I thought it would appear as if I wanted to set myself off at their expense, by shewing a curiosity and pleasure in his information which he must wish his own daughters to feel.”

“Miss Crawford was very right in what she said of you the other day: that you seemed almost as fearful of notice and praise as other women were of neglect.”

She is literally fearful of notice and praise--because Mrs. Norris has told her repeatedly throughout her life that she must NEVER shine more than Maria or Julia, must NEVER take attention away from them--a sort of vicarious narcissism. And Fanny feels that to receive a compliment, to state her own opinions, or even to TALK much in company is “stepping out of her place”, the high crime and misdemeanor of Mrs. Norris’s upbringing.

I was raised by a narcissistic caretaker, and I am sometimes suddenly overwhelmed with terror that I’m taking too much attention to myself and that I’m therefore BAD somehow. Because a narcissist (or their proxy, the golden child) must always be the center of attention, the scapegoat is emotionally punished for ever taking the spotlight. Mrs. Norris is disposed to be upset when Sir Thomas holds a dance in Fanny’s honor, and is only reconciled to it because SHE will be able to make herself the center of attention in the preparations.*

[*Footnote: I think another argument can be made for Mrs. Norris’s narcissism in her response to Crawford’s proposal to Fanny:

Angry she was: bitterly angry; but she was more angry with Fanny for having received such an offer than for refusing it. It was an injury and affront to Julia, who ought to have been Mr. Crawford’s choice; and, independently of that, she disliked Fanny, because she had neglected her; and she would have grudged such an elevation to one whom she had been always trying to depress.

Mrs. Norris is DETERMINED to put Fanny down, as the scapegoat, and is offended that one of her golden children (her emotional stand-in) is shown less honor in this situation than the scapegoat. For the scapegoat to be elevated and her narcissistic stand-in to be neglected induces a narcissistic rage.]

“Sensibility” and High Sensitivity

In the 18th century, a theory and “culture of sensibility” grew up in places like Britain, France, Holland, and the British colonies. Encyclopedia.com’s article on sensibility states, “Sensibility (and ‘sensible’ and ‘sentiment’) connoted the operation of the nervous system, the material basis for consciousness.” But the workings of the nervous system, they believed, affected more than just the physical body. Some people, it was held, had greater sensibility than others: their nerves were more easily affected by not only physical but also emotional and moral input, and they responded accordingly--not just in word and in deed, but in tears, blushes, trembling, fainting, etc. It was believed that people’s emotional responses AND physical responses could tell you something about their physical AND moral makeup. A truly modest woman, for instance, would blush and look confused when confronted with something that offended her maidenly modesty. A woman--or indeed, man--who was truly moral and “sensible” would be emotionally affected by something sad, such as a tale of oppression, to the point of openly weeping. A heroine of sensibility would most likely faint if threatened with something she found, not only physically frightening, but morally abhorrent (such as a forced marriage). This is part of the reason for what seems to use like excessive emotional reactions in some 18th-century novels: the writer is demonstrating her characters’ moral superiority through their physical sensibility.*

[*Footnote: Encyclopedia.com adds, “The coexistence of reason and feeling was assumed, but the proportion of each was endlessly debated, above all because of what many saw as the dangers of unleashed feelings... [After the French Revolution,] The debate over the proportions of reason and feeling in persons of sensibility was politicized, and the need for women to channel their feelings toward moral and domestic goals was reemphasized. The word ‘sentimental,’ which had been used positively, became a label for ‘excessive sensibility’ and self-indulgence.” We can see this conflict clearly in Austen’s Sense and Sensibility!]

There is, in fact, a modern equivalent to the 18th century idea of sensibility: the concept of the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS). First proposed by Elaine Aron's book The Highly Sensitive Person (1996), the theory suggests that SPS

is a temperamental or personality trait involving "an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system and a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social and emotional stimuli". The trait is characterized by "a tendency to 'pause to check' in novel situations, greater sensitivity to subtle stimuli, and the engagement of deeper cognitive processing strategies for employing coping actions, all of which is driven by heightened emotional reactivity, both positive and negative". (wikipedia)

While some people have mocked this theory as pseudoscience, Aron is by no means the only researcher to have studied it, and a great many people who suffered from people telling them “You’re too sensitive” when they were hurt have taken comfort in the positive affirmation that high sensitivity is a natural phenomenon and can even at times be regarded as a strength rather than a character flaw.

It seems to me that there is a good deal of overlap between those who self-identify or may be identified as HSPs and those who have C-PTSD. Whether this is because greater emotional sensitivity leads to a greater incidence of traumatic responses to negative experiences, or whether high sensitivity is itself a product of repeated childhood trauma, I can’t say. (Heck, it could even be that the HSP’s belief that they’re over-sensitive comes from childhood gaslighting!)

What I can say is that Fanny Price exhibits, not only hypervigilance, but also what Austen would call “great sensibility” and I would call “SPS”. Fanny has the greatest sensibility of any character in the entire novel, even Edmund: she judges more clearly on moral matters than Edmund or Sir Thomas, and has the strongest physical and emotional reactions to stimuli. She seems to be constantly blushing, trembling, or tearing up. This is not only painful to modern readers (who, if they’re not pained by sympathizing with her, may well be pained by what seems to them a lack of proper 21st-century backbone in a main character) but is clearly highly uncomfortable at times to Fanny herself. She might be able to pride herself on her moral discernment (not that Fanny would EVER pride herself on ANYTHING), and she may be in transports of happiness when something good, like William’s arrival or promotion, occur, but she is often “cast down” as well by things that seem to others like trifles. We see this not only in her hypervigilance but also in the depression and the black-and-white thinking which are often the products of trauma. Edmund observes to her, “It is your disposition to be easily dejected and to fancy difficulties greater than they are.” Fanny’s apparent high sensitivity may be just a natural trait (made worse by trauma) or may itself be a product of trauma.

Conclusions

At the end of all this, I’m really not sure what I think about Fanny’s “happy ending”. On one hand, she gets what she’s always wanted in life: companionate marriage with Edmund, valued by Sir Thomas and Lady Bertram, with Mrs. Norris (and Maria) gone forever, and Julia and Tom chastened and better behaved. It seems perfect for her. But a little voice inside of me keeps saying how very unlikely it is. People rarely change as much as Sir Thomas does in the book--and in fact, we are only assured by Austen that Sir Thomas comes to value Fanny more: we don’t actually SEE it. I can’t help but feel that Fanny must still have been subject to ongoing gaslighting about how she was brought up and about respect toward Mrs. Norris and himself. Fanny got what she thought she wanted, but at the same time, she didn’t get free. Especially considering that Austen goes out of her way to say that things COULD have turned out differently and that Fanny and Crawford COULD have been happy together, I can’t help but wonder what would have happened if Fanny had ended up with the ONLY person in the entire book who truly recognizes how badly she has been treated at Mansfield Park:

[Crawford]: And they will now see their cousin treated as she ought to be, and I wish they may be heartily ashamed of their own abominable neglect and unkindness.

#jane austen #mansfield park #trauma #c-ptsd #literature #tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk

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cloveroctobers · 2 years

Text

DECEMBER HCS 🥶 — 1. Gael Martinez

A/N: since I didn’t get the chance to write for him in my October prompts I thought why not give it a go this time around? S/o to the fan cams for always getting me inspired to write these things! Also loosely mentions of two other shows I enjoy/enjoyed: The Bold Type + Station 19 so don’t drag me if you see this tagged in those shows. Skip over this if you read this far and don’t care to read lol

Warning: what not to do with strangers? I guess. This is light hearted fiction don’t think too deep about this please.

Using this list as my reference for headcanons: https://cloveroctobers.tumblr.com/post/667419976098103296/winter-prompts

Trope: stranded at the airport

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Airports were never fun to you as you got older, they used to be when you were younger since it always felt like a amusement park to you

The amount of people shuffling by racing against the clock to get through the check- in process

Going through machines and being oddly searched

Oh and let’s not forget the racial bias and prejudice involved with that — but it’s always “just doing our jobs”

And getting onto the plane and flying up to become one with the clouds was all so exciting as a kid!

Now? As a adult it was all hectic unless you had special privileges where you can sit away from everyone else and get special treatment while you waited to board + having the luxury to fly first class…it must be nice

It was common for you to fly back and forth from New York to California to Seattle for work and family

Your departure was already off to a bad start since you were rushing to get to your late-night flight just for it be delayed not once but twice with no answers (for at least a hour) on the second

Usually there would be less people flying at night and the airport was almost peaceful (which is why you preferred flying at night In The first place)

until there was a final announcement by 2am that your flight was completely cancelled due to plane issues and a severe snow storm heading this way from the east coast — where you were heading

You tried to be understanding with the workers who were under a lot of stress themselves + a few Karen’s and Greg’s went off on the workers who had no control over that

It was all managements fault as they left majority of the people with no answers, only disappointment

Lucky for the Karen’s and Greg’s they could find shelter somewhere else and miraculously get flights with different airports for another time

whereas the rest of you were out of luck — although management apparently told their workers you would all be issued a refund since they were not sure when they would be able to fly out next??

Honestly you were too tired to even bother looking for a hotel, motel, holiday inn atp and motioned to sit in front of the hard plastic chairs legs crossed

A small laugh broke your attention from sending a text to your cousin: Victoria Hughes and your three besties who probably weren’t even up but this is what you all agreed to do whenever out of each other’s sight

At first you wanted to ignore the sound but after your phone told you that the two separate messages (one to the group chat and another to Vick) went through you lifted your head

Seeing a man with dark ringlets of hair, tan puffy north face jacket and a gray scarf around his neck and with large hands resting against his knees

His ink colored eyes were set on you and didn’t falter as you met his gaze

You quirked up a brow, your facial expression saying, ‘what’s funny?’

He raised his hands sending a small smile your way, “I don’t mean to laugh at you but I figured you got tired of sitting on those god-awful chairs as much as I did—1000 hours ago.”

The young man was sitting against the cool windows while the airport was surprisingly nauseously warm

You hummed, “yeah I think they were starting to deflate my ass the longer we waited around for these stupid airplanes.”

“I’m guessing you’re not a fan?” He laughed some more, this time with teeth

You scoffed, “I hate these things. I always have to pop something and take a mimosa just to calm these jitters.”

“You know…I don’t think that’s something you should be screaming across this abandoned airport to a total stranger.”

“Are you a snitch mr. model? It’s holiday season and I’ll be sure to send some coal in your stocking if you are.”

The man huffed, “no I’m a artist and what are you? I was going with dopey the dwaf based on how your beanie is positioned on your head—a cute one though.”

You gasped, “or maybe that’s a cover up because you secretly think I’m a pill popper, mr. Not so bad looking Artist.”

To anyone else this might have looked like flirting but honestly you didn’t think too much of it. You were not responsible for what came out of your mouth when you were half awake—take it or leave it

The man tilted his head at that, finding it fair but he didn’t think too much of you yet. You were just another poor soul that was stuck here at this airport for who knows how long

“So tell me stranger who’s an artist, what type of art do you do?”

And that brought up a whole lengthy conversation that had you nodding your head and humming along

This was evident that the stranger with the dark gorgeous eyes was super passionate about what he did and that was admirable

However the man he worked for sounded like a fresh asshole but you have to do what you have to do to survive sometimes

He knew what he wanted and it seemed like he’s known for awhile when it came to art. However you could sense some frustrating behind that profession

You on the other hand? It took you much longer to figure it out until you landed a job at scarlet magazine as a writer fresh out of college.

It was almost fairytale like just like you bonding with this man who didn’t seem like a creep to you and you hoped you didn’t sound crazy to him but he engaged in contact with you first so what the hell right?!

Eventually the both of you found yourselves sitting beside one another, shaking hands and introducing yourselves as the conversation flowed

“What’s in New York for you?”

“Work,” you automatically answered and then shared a laugh, “how boring of me I know. But it’s not only work, my friends and apartment too. Half of my life is there really.”

“Where’s the rest of it?”

You exhaled, “still trying to find it mostly but if you mean physically? also Seattle and California. As you can see New York and Seattle seem to be winning.”

“Don’t tell me you’re not a fan of the city of angels?”

You pursed your lips, “eh it’s not for me personally, i don’t mind visiting temporarily but I don’t think I could ever live here.”

It was Gael’s turn to hum, “life has a funny way of showing you where you need to be.”

You leaned your head back against the cool glass as you smirked, “is that your way of telling me I should stay because of you, mr. Artist model man.”

“Nooo, of course not. I wouldn’t object if you did however.” He stated at you seriously before the both of you laughed once again. Everything seemed to be more funny when the winter sun said goodbye for the night, “and I’m not just saying that. As corny as it may seem I do believe in things happen for a reason and we were meant to meet tonight.”

You snorted feeling as if you knew most of Gael Martinez already too in just these short few hours. He knew just a bulk of info about you too and that felt like enough shockingly

They say when you know you know when you encounter other human beings, that they were meant to enter your life and Gael already said he believed in reasons

Sooner than later you were the very few that made pillows out of your belongings and laid your heads beside each other on opposite sides

You let out a yawn tossing an arm over your eyes

“Excuse me, but, uh, Are you really this loud in the mornings? You’re gonna wake up the other unlucky guests here.” Gael motioned to the few others stretched out on the floor or chairs

You whacked him while Gael’s body shook with small laughter as you retorted, “says the guy that lives in a coterie.”

Gael couldn’t argue with that

Soon the conversation slowed and became hushed whispers as the airport seemed to shift to cold temperature now which made you unintentionally shuffle closer to the man next to you

The stranger in the airport’s voice became deeper as each minute ticked by and it provided a soothing warmth by your ear

However the both of you had your attention turned to the flurries that whirled into the night sky and that added to the contentment the both of you felt on this challenging night

When you were shaken by an employee who told you that the airport was now offering the luxury boarding rooms as a complimentary stay for the remaining few of you until the storm fully came and went or until you were able to get the hell out and go elsewhere you realized there was something sticking to your face

A post it that read: didn’t want to wake the pretty beast, had a friend get me before it got 2 bad. Check ur phone + I’ll see you in NY sometime ;)

followed by a little doodle that looked very much like you with a saggy beanie signed with Gael’s signature this looked like elegant chicken scratch really but it made you smile nonetheless

It was around 6 am

As you got your things together with the employee gathering you up like this was kindergarten all over again, you checked your phone as you shuffled along in the line with the other five-eight guests

To see Gael managed to get his phone # into your contacts (s|o to face recognition feature) followed with a picture he took of the both of you, him grinning up tiredly at the lens while you slept hideously on your back

He was under: “model artist man 🎨”

You went to text the freshly new contact: “if I see you in ny, we’re fighting because of that ugly ass picture 💥”

“😏😈 sure thing, dopey” to “oh be sure to txt ur friends back, they want to know all about the perfect airport stranger you’re supposed to marry 😘😌😉”

Your eyes went into slits before you went to take your phone off do not disturb which unleashed a mountain of texts from all four of the most nosey women in your life wanting to know the deets

And so you massaged the space in between your brows letting out another laugh of pure disbelief unsure what was said or done while you were asleep which was crazy if you really thought about it???

Guess it was you who fell asleep first since you couldn’t remember

Conclusion: you still hated airports but 5% less now

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*

Continue along with my December anthology series here.

#Gael Martinez #good trouble #good trouble freeform #headcanons #it would have been chef’s kiss to have the bold type crossover with good trouble #that exists in my head and is used whenever I write for yaddy gael I won’t say that again I promise #station 19 #December prompts #December headcanons #the bold type #queued #tommy martinez #gael martinez x reader

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jaehyunspeachparty · 3 years

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1.13

warnings: This story contains content that could be problematic for one or the other. Among other things, the story may contain content about sex, rape, late pregnancy, relationship with a large age difference, and others. Just because it's in the warnings doesn't mean these topics will appear, but they will definitely be covered in the story. The content of the story is fixed and doesn’t change. If you don't feel comfortable with these topics, then it's okay if you don't read the story. I just write down my ideas here and I just enjoy writing about life. The fact that some things in life are not rational or weird for some people is also part of it.

Miga was still with SM because her friend Dae will have her debut soon and she wanted to comfort her. Dae had also been with SM for a long time, namely since she was 13 years old. Dae and Miga grew up together in the company and they have been friends since then. Dae had her first recording that day and she was so nervous that Miga came over to support her. The producer was also relatively young, but everyone was enthusiastic about him. His name is Para and he was 23 years old. "So, can we start?" Para asked when he came into the studio, but when he saw Miga he turned interested to her. "Hey, didn't I notice something? I thought you were an actress." He winked and Miga waved it off. "Yeah, singing is not my thing. I'll go." She hugged Dae tightly and whispered encouraging words in her ear. Then she said goodbye and left the studio. It was Saturday and therefore a lot more less people in the company. The corridor was empty and Miga felt more and more uncomfortable. Her heart started beating faster for no reason. Suddenly a man came out of the room and was walking along the corridor. Miga could barely breathe, she became more and more panicked and tried to walk quickly to the exit. But with her high heels she was slower. The next moment the door next to her went up and surprisingly Hyunjin stand in front of her. He grinned happily, because due to his tight schedule, the two hardly had time to see each other. "Hey Miga!" He walks up to her and wanted to talk to her, but Miga was no longer with herself. She fell completely into a panic attack. With big eyes she looked at Hyunjin for a second, but she didn't see him anymore, she saw in him the men she wanted to rape her a week ago. She could no longer see reality and she had the feeling that she could no longer breathe. She ran off without saying anything. And she can't quite remember, but at one point she sat in her car and locked the doors. She put her hands on the steering wheel and rested her head on it. She breathes in and out deeply. Her trauma is still deep inside her. Her panic attack was only slowly subsiding. Her hands were shaking and she was still dizzy. She quickly took her bottle and took a quick gulp of water. She leaned back and took a deep breath as her pulse settled again. Was that a trauma that she couldn't push away so easily?

Sunoh was home all day doing what he looked forward to all day. At the weekend he facetimed with Chichi for a long time, who has been in Japan for a week now. "I'm pretty nervous. A week of training is very little." Chichi made her first show that evening. It's a charity performance and the new ballet dancers introduce themselves. "I'm sure you can do it." Sunoh looked dreamily into the screen and he wished he could travel to her immediately. He wants to be there for her, support her and maybe other things. Sunoh kept wandering in thoughts ... but certain thoughts ... adult thoughts ... and he was ashamed of them. Chichi was so cute, beautiful and innocent and he had these dirty thoughts. "What are you doing today?", Chichi asked and looked at Sunoh with her dark eyes. "Johnny and Irene have invited us all. There is a party and I think there will be an announcement." "Ahhh yes, Dad told me about it. I wish I could be there." She sighed and looked a little sad. "You won't miss a thing. It's going to be super boring." Sunoh hadn't felt like anything since Chichi was gone. He's just waiting until he can finally talk to Chichi on the phone. "But I'd rather be with you," Sunoh admitted and his cheeks turned red. Chichi's face also turned red and her heart began to beat faster. "I wish I could be with you too," she admitted and Sunoh's heart softened. He would like to fly to her on the next plane, hug her, kiss her and ... Sunoh pressed his lips together. His hormones were driving him crazy and his thoughts were only more about one thing. Sometimes he didn't even know what was wrong with him. "I really want to see you during the Christmas break. But Mum wanted us to visit Audrey in Switzerland and I should come with them. But I'm still trying to persuade her." "No, visit your aunt and your cousins. You see them less than me." Chichi didn't want him to neglect his family because of her. "But I don't want to go to Switzerland, I want to see you. Only Mum doesn't want me to be alone in another country." He sighed and he thought he was old enough to travel alone, but you didn't want to leave him alone. "It's okay, I'll be back soon." Chichi didn't want him to get in trouble just because of her. "Chichi! You have to go," someone in the background suddenly calls the small girl. She had to end the phone call with Sunoh for the fitting. The two of them always had a hard time parting, but there was no other way because Chichi had to go and Sunoh was alone in his room again.

You put on earrings and get ready for the party for Johnny when Jaehyun walked into your bathroom. He's got a little bag that he puts down and then hugs you from behind and kisses you. "Hey, how was the photo shoot?" You ask him. He had to get up early and still had to work a little. "Fine, but I've been excited all day." He smiled and gently stroked your hip. "Me too. Is it in there?" You point to the bag and he nodded. You then grab something and look at him. "I'm over 2 weeks, which is actually a good sign." You were holding a pregnancy test and your heart was pounding with excitement. You hadn't had your period for over 2 weeks and you both now had hope of conceiving. You didn't want to take the test until tomorrow, but you both wanted a child so badly that you couldn't wait. "I'm positive." Jaehyun was excited too, sometimes you thought he wanted a child more than you. "Okay I'll do it." You unpack the test and then sit on the toilet. Jaehyun sat down on the bathroom floor across from you. "You look beautiful," he said with a grin. "Jaehyun, I'm peeing right now", you had to laugh but concentrate on the test. You put the cap on it and get dressed again. You wash your hands and sit down with Jaehyun. He put his arms around you and both of you look excitedly at the test. "Imagine we have another girl after all the boys. Then we started with a girl and we finish with a girl." Jaehyun hugged you tight and put his chin on your shoulder. "Don't be too hasty. Let's wait and see the result." You smile and stare at the test. "I know, I know. But I would still like a girl." Jaehyun kissed you and you have to smile. It reminded you of the time you tried to have a second child. You didn't do a pregnancy test with the twins, so it was more of a surprise. "See the result will be displayed immediately." You pick up the test and you could feel Jaehyun's pulse. You couldn't wait to see the result and you almost ran out of breath. It only takes a few seconds and then there is the result

... not pregnant...

You stare at the test, you couldn't believe it. You were so sure of yourself. You really thought you were pregnant. Jaehyun saw that you stopped moving. He took the test out of your hands and set it aside. He hugged you tight and stroked you. But you were so disappointed you just couldn't believe it. "I am sorry." You suddenly start crying because you couldn't hide your disappointment. You feel like a failure, like you couldn't do what your body was made to do. "Don't blame yourself. We'll manage it." Jaehyun pressed your head to his chest and you couldn't stop sobbing. "I'm too old, we should have started having a baby earlier." "Y/N, it could be up to me too. We don't know. Don't blame yourself. We have other options." Jaehyun tries to cheer you up, but you were so sad. You cry and cry and cry. Jaehyun had you tight in her arms and you are sitting there on the bathroom floor trying to process it all. But then suddenly the door opened and Geon came in. "Mum, when are we going? .... OH!" He saw his parents sitting on the floor and his mother crying. "Is everything okay?" He asked and didn't know what to say. "Is Miga there yet?" Jaehyun asked and Geon nodded. "Okay, we'll be down in a moment. Give us a few more minutes." Jaehyun looked at his son, who nodded.

Geon went back down to the entrance where Sunoh, Miga and Kiwoo were already standing. "And where are they?" Asked Miga and looked curiously at her little brother. "Mum is crying ..." Geon said, very shocked. "She's crying?" Asked Sunoh in surprise. "Why is Mum crying?" Asked Kiwoo, surprised and also worried. "I don't know, but Dad doesn't look too good either," Geon said, shrugging his shoulders. "Shit ..." Miga looked sadly into the room. "What? Do you know why they're sad?" Asked Sunoh. "I think mum isn't pregnant again. I heard them talking about it the other day, that they think it worked now." Miga sighed and leaned against the wall. The siblings became quiet and didn't know what to say. "It's best if you all drive with me in the car and we'll give Mum and Dad a little time together. Or what do you think?" Suggested Miga, and everyone agreed. At that moment you came down with Jaehyun. Your eyes were still all red, but you are trying to collect yourself. "Shall we go?" Asked Jaehyun and looked at his children. "Yes, Sunoh, Kiwoo and Geon are going with me. Is that okay?" Miga smiled gently and you nod. "Okay, go then." Miga pushed her brothers into the garage and they got into the car.

"Can you do it?" Jaehyun asked as he drove off and he put a hand on your thigh. "Yeah, distraction is good. How are you?" You look at your husband who is focused on the street. "I'm really sad, but I'm looking forward to a nice party with good friends." Jaehyun smiled gently and you were calmer by now. "Sunoh thinks that Johnny is going to announce something. Do you think he has something to announce?" You ask and look curiously at Jaehyun, but he shrugged his shoulders. "I really don't know. Johnny is so random sometimes." "Maybe he married Irene. I think she wanted that." "That may well be, as I said, Johnny is acting sometimes randomly." The journey doesn't take long and they were there. Miga and the boys arrived at the same time and the whole family got out. "Mum, you look good," Miga said honestly and put her arm around you. You knew she wanted to cheer you up and you were grateful to her for that. "Thanks my darling, you look gorgeous too." You kiss her hair and go to the house with her. Kiwoo rang the bell and Johnny immediately opened the door. "Hey, welcome. Come in." He took a step aside so that everyone could come in.

In the meantime, Sunoh goes to Jaina and sits down next to her. "Hey," she said, turning to him. "Hey," he sighed and leaned back. "Are you okay?", She asked surprised, but she already had a guess what could be. "Yes everything fine." Sunoh wasn't ready to tell others that he was into Chichi. "And with you?", He then asked her, but Jaina shrugged her shoulders. "Let's talk about it later after Dad makes his announcement." She sighed and Sunoh nodded. He knew that Johnny had a reason to invite everyone. Then Jaina suddenly got up and went to the bar. She poured a shot of rum into her Coke, but Miga saw it. "Jaina, what are you doing?" She admonished her. "I only drink cola." She grinned and took a long swig. "You are 14 years old, you are still too young for alcohol. Throw that away now or I have to tell Johnny." Miga was worried about Jaina, she had already met her drunk and she didn't want anything bad to happen to her. Jaina finish her drink in one gulp and grinned. "Nobody cares anyway." She shrugged her shoulders. "But everyone is interested and I am interested," Miga tried to be there for her, but Jaina was too prepubertal. "Oh, really? Or do you want to act like a big sister to me too? You just want to show everyone your perfect life. You never make mistakes." Jaina rolled her eyes and sighed. "That's not true. I make mistakes ...", but Jaina turned away and didn't want to listen to her any more. She didn't understand what Jaina had against her lately, but the girl had something. "All right?" She suddenly heard and when she turned around she saw her mistake. Jaemin. "Yes and with you?" She asks with a smile. "Yes, but I wanted to ask you ..." But before Jaemin could continue speaking, Johnny's voice grew loud. "Can I just ask for your attention?" He stepped into the middle of the room and took Irene by the hand. With a big grin she followed him until they were in the middle of the room. In the meantime everyone was there, almost all NCT members with their families. The house was full, but everyone was staring at Johnny intently. "I want to keep it short, but the reason I invited you all today is ..." He paused and put his arm around Irene. He looked deeply into her eyes and smiled. "We are engaged. We are going to get married," shouted Johnny and Irene held up her finger with the engagement ring. Suddenly it got loud in the room, many walked up to them and Sunoh looked at Jaina in suprise. She stood and stared at her father and stepmother. Tears stood in her eyes and at some point she couldn't look at it anymore and ran out of the house. Sunoh followed her and held her tight. "Jaina ... wait. What's wrong?", Sunoh asked and looked at her. "Dad still loves Mum ..." She looked sadly at the floor and began to sob softly. Jaina was suddenly so small, so vulnerable. "What?" Sunoh was surprised and didn't quite understand anything. "Dad was at Mum's a few days ago and told about the engagement. I overheard...I shouldn't have, but Dad said he still loves Mum. But Mum doesn't want to take him back." Jaina started crying because all she wanted was her parents to get back together. She had no problem with Irene, but she wanted her parents to be a couple again. "Jaina ... I'm sorry." He took Jaina in his arms and that was all she needed.

Miga fled meanwhile from all the chaos. It was all too much for her. She had other problems. Hyunjin wrote to her and asked what was going on. She doesn't know what to say. Her heart was racing and everything indicated she was going to have a panic attack. She quickly runs into the bathroom and leans on the sink. She took a deep breath when she suddenly hears a familiar voice. "All good?" Jaemin stood by the door and looked at her worriedly. Miga was shocked briefly, but she smiled when she saw him. "Yes everything fine." Of course she lied, but she still didn't want Jaemin to tell her parents about the incident. "I feel like you are lying to me." He stood in front of her and looked down at her. Miga looked up at him and she felt all the tension. She knew that he wanted it, that he felt more for her. Her dark and large eyes were fixed on his. Jaemin was completely captivated by her. He hardly realized what was happening and what he was doing. But now it was Miga who acted. She longed for his attention. So she stood on her tiptoe and kissed Jaemin briefly and gently. Then she stopped and waited for his reaction. Jaemin pressed his lips together and tried to collect himself, but everything in him contracted. He suppressed his longing for Miga for so long and her lips suddenly felt like the release. And now he was getting greedy. He wanted her closer, deeper, more intense. He suddenly grabbed her, pressed his body against her, and kissed her. This kiss was no longer gentle, it was passionate. Miga felt his groin press against his hip and he then lifted her up to put her on the counter next to the sink. Their lips were tight together. Miga moaned softly and that made him even wilder. He put his hands on her thighs and ran his hands up and under her dress. Miga felt how everything in her vibrated, how wet she was. She had longed for such a passion and Jaemin was the perfect lover. And Miga meanwhile pressed her middle closer to him and put her hands tightly around his neck. And the next moment the door opened. However, the two did not check it in time. And they were still in the process of making out. Then they only heard a startled sigh and when the two looked over, they saw Renjun. He looked at the two in shock and immediately ran away. "Shit", Jaemin swore and let go of Miga to run after him. He had to make sure he wasn't telling anyone. Renjun noticed that Jaemin was following him and he went into the garden to talk to him. "JAEMIN! FUCK! I knew it was Miga! What did I advise you 2 months ago?" Renjun couldn't believe it. "You don't get it ..." Jaemin tries to explain himself. "What do I not understand, that I caught you making out with Jaehyun's 19 year old daughter? THIS IS CRAZY!!!! What if I hadn't got in the way? What would have happened then?" "Nothing would have happened," Jaemin said, but Renjun shook his head. "Your hands! They were under her dress. Fuck Jaemin! I never thought you were stupid, but that's really stupid!" Renjun was so upset and didn't know what to think. "I can't do anything ... she's just ..." "She is Jaehyun's daughter! AND SHE IS 19!!!!", Renjun interrupted him and Jaemin just stared at him. "Please don't tell Jaehyun," pleaded Jaemin. "Are you going to keep your fingers off of her?" Renjun then asked and Jaemin had to hesitate. "She's grown up, she knows what she's doing," said Jaemin then. "She can't judge. Do I have to tell you everything again? She always looks up to you. She is still a child in this regard." "Miga is more mature than you think." "It doesn't matter because she is Jaehyun's daughter!" Renjun shook his head and saw Miga watching them from the house. "I don't know what to do," Jaemin was really desperate. He was so at odds himself. Renjun saw the despair in his friend and became calmer. "Is it love or lust?", Renjun then asked him and Jaemin looked at him in surprise. "What?" "Are you sure you love her? Or is it just the desire for something forbidden." Renjun crossed his arms and Jaemin couldn't tell. "Find that out, and as long as you think about it I won't say anything to Jaehyun," Renjun said and Jaemin nodded. "Thanks ..." Jaemin said quietly and Renjun just nodded. "Well, let's go in."

Jaemin now sat later far away from Miga. He couldn't look at her because everything was still tightening inside him. He still smelled her scent, still felt her bare skin on his hands. He didn't know how long he could stay here. "Hey Jeno, I have a question." Jeno turned to him and smiled. "Yeah sure." "How can I tell the difference between love and lust?" Jaemin then asked. "Why do you ask that? Is there a girl?" Jeno winked and had to laugh, but Jaemin was nervous. "I've told you about her before." "Ah, the 19 year old?" Jaemin nodded. "Do you think you love her or are you wondering if it wouldn't be exciting to sleep with a 19 year old?" Jeno had to laugh. "Yes. No. I mean ..." Jaemin struggled for words, it was hard to explain it all. "It's okay. When was the last time you had sex?" Jeno asked soberly. "Does mastrubation count too?" "No. I mean with a woman." Jeno looked seriously at his friend and Jaemin thought about it. "Hmm I don't know. Maybe before last spring?" After breaking up with his ex-girlfriend, he wanted nothing to do with women for a while. "Last spring? It's December!" Jeno was shocked and looked at him in surprise. "Okay okay. I see the problem. Maybe you just need to sleep with someone who isn't the mysterious 19 year old girl." "What do you mean by that?" Jaemin asked. "Well, that way you can tell whether it's just lust or love. Maybe you just need real sex again. Fuck, Jaemin, my wife has not been able to sleep with me for two months because she gave birth to us and already going crazy. " Jeno laughed and looks at Jaemin. "So you mean I should go out and sleep with some random woman?" Jaemin wasn't sure. "Yes! Maybe you just have to take a little pressure off. Let off some steam." Jeno grinned and Jaemin nodded. Maybe he was right, maybe other women would distract him from all the thoughts he had about Miga and he clearly had too many of them ...

providentia masterlist

daddy jaehyun masterlist

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reallifesultanas · 3 years

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Non real life sultanas

A little Christmas surprise post comes. One of my most popular videos on Youtube was the one, where I gathered non-historical characters, explaining how fictional or how historical they were, and if there was a real historical person behind them as an inspirer. Now, for Christmas, I would like to summarize for you the main fictional characters of the Muhteşem Yüzyil series.

Several fictional characters were present in the Muhteşem Yüzyil series, many from the very first minutes. The presence of some fictional characters was forgivable, as we were left with very little detailed information about the harem of Sultan Suleiman I. Thus, for example, the characters of Sümbül Agha, Gül Agha, Mercan Agha, and other eunuchs, although not portraying historical characters, were necessary for the dramaturgy of the series. Sümbül's character was the most important among the eunuchs and perhaps this is why many of us may think that Hürrem actually had such a close friend in the person of the chief eunuch. However, this is not true. During Suleiman's reign, many chief eunuchs took turns, and none of them were known to be particularly close to Hürrem. Of Hürrem's close servants, only one is known by name, a woman named Nevbahar. The characters of Nigar Kalfa, Gülsah Hatun, Fidan Hatun, Daye Hatun, Fahriye Kalfa were similar to Sümbül. None of them were historical, but surely every sultana had their own trusted servants, as they showed in the series. Like the eunuchs and kalfas, the concubines of Prince Mustafa and Prince Bayezid, Ayşe, Rana, Defne or Rumeysa Hatun, can also be considered forgivable fictional characters. We do not know anything about the harem of the two princes as neither of them had a major consort and as their children were born from different women.

However, there were also characters who were written into the story just for the sake of the drama. Which of these characters was acceptable is up to everyone and feel free to write your opinion about them in a comment here or on another platform! So here's the long-awaited list:

Sadika Hatun

Sadika was a Hungarian woman in the series whose husband was killed by Sultan Suleiman on the day of their wedding. Sadika then became the spy of the Hungarian king, Lajos II and she traveled to Istanbul to personally avenge her husband’s death. Matrakci Nasuh Efendi then, by chance, meets the girl and helps her get into the harem, where she immediately joins Ayşe Hafsa Valide Sultan's service and then becomes Hatice Sultan’s chief servant. During her job, of course, she gets close to Suleiman's bed several times, and then she had the opportunity to attack the sultan. However, she does not succeed, Suleiman survives, and Sadika is thrown in the Bosphorus.

In reality, this story would not be possible at all. Even if we assumed that Sadika really existed and Suleiman actually killed her husband, she would not have been able to get into the Sultan's harem and take revenge. On the one hand, Sadika was already a married woman, an adult woman. Such women could not enter the harem, only virgin, child girls could become the sultan's later concubines. However, even if Sadika had somehow been able to get in the harem, a long education would have awaited her before she could join the Valide Sultan's service. While there may have been some exceptional cases where older or non-virgin women wanted to be gifted to the Sultan, these are special cases. Such was the case, for example, when Hayreddin Barbarossa wanted to kidnap the beautiful Giulia Gonzaga, a widowed Italian noblewoman known far and wide, to send her to the Sultan's harem as a gift. In the end, he didn’t succeed, but even if he did, we don’t know if the sultan would had ever taken the woman to his bed.

Leo

In the series, he was the love of Hürrem from their youth. Leo came to Istanbul with the goal of finding her former sweetheart. Leo is a talented artist who, with the help of Nasuh Efendi (ahh Nasuh brought all the good people near to the Sultan…) will become the painter of Sultan Suleiman and Pargali Ibrahim. His former relationship with Hürrem will soon be revealed to Pargali Ibrahim, who is thus trying to blackmail Hürrem. Hürrem repeatedly begs Leo to leave the capital, but the man remains, which eventually leads to his death.

In reality, Hürrem - and all the other concubines - were taken into Ottoman captivity as little girls, so it is out of the question that they would have had a love or a fiance. And even if they had, they could never have found them. Nasuh Efendi, though one of the greatest suckers in the series - yet the dearest character - was not like that in reality at all, but he was a wonderful scholar who, by the way, was not so closely friends with either Sultan Suleiman or Pargali Ibrahim.

Princess Isabella

Princess Isabella Fortuna was a Spanish noble lady in the series who was on a ship to her future husband, the Austrian prince, when she was captured by Ottoman pirates and was taken to Istanbul to Sultan Suleiman. At first, Suleiman was only interested in the princess for political reasons, but later he fell in love. Princess Isabella initially resisted Suleiman's approach with all her cartilage, but over time she fell in love with the sultan and became his lover. This, of course, Hürrem could not stand and did everything she could to get rid of the princess who was eventually sent home by Suleiman himself.

In reality, of course, such a situation would have been unthinkable. Even assuming that Isabella existed and was captured by pirates, no princess raised in the Catholic faith would have voluntarily become the concubine of a Muslim sultan, she would have committed suicide instead. Let us not forget that Suleiman was loyal to Hürrem from the 1520s onwards, so in reality there was not a single woman who could make hard time for Hürrem during her decades-long relationship with Suleiman. Isabella Fortuna, on the other hand, never existed. Surprisingly, however, they could have patterned her from a real character. There was an Isabella of Castile in this period who was born in 1518 as the child of the widowed Queen of Aragon, Germaine of Foix and Charles V, but she was never captured by Ottoman pirates and was never the bride of the Austrian prince. Isabella's existence was kept secret by her parents all her life, only her mother's testament revealed that she ever existed. It is also known from there that Isabella died young in 1537.

Aybige Hatun

In the series, Aybige was the niece of Ayşe Hafsa, and so the daughter of the Crimean Sahib Giray khan. Aybige originally only came to visit her aunt in Istanbul, but later Hafsa Sultan wanted to see her as the wife of her favorite grandson, Prince Mustafa. However, Aybige was in love with Bali Bey and Mustafa longed for someone else aksi. Bali Bey was eventually almost executed for their love, and Aybige returned to Crimea with her father in the end.

Aybige’s storyline makes mistakes at almost every point. First, Ayşe Hafsa was never the sister of the Crimean khan, so the daughter of the Crimean khan could not have been her niece either. In addition, although Sahib Giray Khan had several daughters, none were called Aybige and none of his daughters ever traveled to Istanbul. The only true point in the whole storyline is that Sahib Giray Khan really collaborated with Sultan Suleiman in his Moldovan war. It is also important to mention Bali Bey at this point. Although Bali Bey was a real historical figure, there is not the slightest match between historical Bali Bey and the series Bali Bey. The real Bali Bey was not a romantic guy who fell in love with every second woman. Bali Bey was a cruel warlord. And if it comes to Bali Bey, let’s say a few words about Prince Mustafa as well. The idea of wanting to marry Mustafa to a khan’s daughter is completely absurd! Since the reign of Sultan Mehmed II, princes have been forbidden to marry anyone, so Prince Mustafa has not been allowed to marry anyone either. And the fact that Suleiman would have supported the idea - even if such a marriage had been able to occurre at all - is an even greater absurdity. Suleiman did not want Mustafa as his heir, so he would never have given him as much power as the support of the Crimean khan.

Firuze Hatun

In the series, Firuze was a Persian spy who, with her amazing abilities, was able to heal the pains of the sick Prince Cihangir, earning the love of Hürrem Sultan. Firuze, however, thanked Hürrem kindness in a disgusting way, and became Suleiman's secret lover, whom the sultan fell in love with. In the end, Hürrem was only able to overcome Firuzen with a little, Firuze was eventually exiled from the palace so she could return to Persia.

In reality, Suleiman was loyal to Hürrem, living in a monogamous relationship with her. Even if there was an occasional one-night-stands, Suleiman never fell in love with another woman, only Hürrem. Thus, the Firuze storyline has already failed here. The fact that there was a Persian spy in the harem would have been an interesting suggestion though. There were certainly spies in the royal court of every empire, but they were probably not hiding among the concubines. Eunuchs, for example, moved with much greater freedom, were much better candidates for being a spy…

Huricihan Sultan

In the series, Huricihan was the daughter of Ibrahim Pasha and Hatice Sultan, who grew up in the palace of Beyhan Sultan after the death of her parents. From there she returned to Istanbul, where she fell in love with her first cousin, Prince Bayezid. Their love became a relationship and then marriage without the Sultan’s permission. Huricihan became the head of Bayezid's harem and soon her relationship with Hürrem and Suleiman slowly became better. Huricihan's end eventually was brought by Prince Selim's concubine, Nurbanu, who knocked her out in the heat of a dispute, killing her.

In reality, Hatice and Ibrahim Pasha were never married, so they didn't have children either together, so Huricihan never existed. If she had existed, for the reasons already mentioned, it would have been utterly inconceivable for Bayezid to marry her, either secretly or openly. Especially knowing that Bayezid had never had a favourite singled out concubine, as all of his children were born to different women. With a background like this, it’s unlikely he’d ever wanted to marry anyone. Although Hatice Sultan did indeed have a daughter, she was born between 1510 and 1515, so she was well ahead of Bayezid in age, and of course she had nothing to do with the prince and was not even called Huricihan.

Mihrünissa Hatun

In the series, Mihrünissa was the daughter of Hayreddin Barbarossa the Head of the Fleet, whom her father sent to Prince Mustafa as a consultant. Later, the two young person fell in love with each other and married without the Sultan's knowledge. In time, Mihrünissa also gave birth to Mustafa's son Mehmed. After Prince Mustafa and his son Mehmed were executed, Mihrünissa went to the capital and cut her own throat before Hürrem's eyes.

In reality, for the reasons already detailed several times above, no prince could marry anyone, so Mustafa also never married. In addition, Barbarossa never had a daughter named Mihrünissa and Hayreddin Pasha was never a supporter of Prince Mustafa. However, even assuming that Mihrünissa existed, there is no chance that she could have committed suicide before Hürrem's eyes. Prince Mustafa's harem retired to Bursa, so that no member of the harem could travel to the capital, especially not to the palace and kill herself in front of Hürrem. So, in fact, the Mihrünissa storyline was just 100% fiction.

Nazenin Hatun

In the series, Nazenin arrived in Istanbul with Nurbanu, where Hürrem, who was struggling with menopause, sent her to the sultan herself. Nazenin thus became the sultan's concubine and soon gave birth to a daughter, Raziye Sultan. Eventually, on Hürrem's instructions, she was killed by Nurbanu.

In reality, as I have said many times, Suleiman was loyal to Hürrem. In addition, after the birth of Prince Cihangir in 1531/2, Suleiman had no more children, neither to Hürrem nor to anyone else. It is true that he had a daughter named Raziye, however, the child died in 1520 at the age of a few years as a result of an epidemic.

Surprising realities

After many fictional characters, one would think that all eunuchs and kalfas were fictional characters, as we know quite a bit about the harem. However, this is not true! There were some historically inspired characters, such as Gazanfer Agha, who, although existed and was one of the most influential eunuchs ever, was not a loyal man of Nurbanu, but Sultan Selim II. Gazanfer reached the peak of his career, by the way, during the reign of Safiye Sultan.

Similarly historical was Canfeda Hatun, who was Nurbanu’s most loyal servant and one of the most influential kalfas of her era. True, Canfeda’s character in the series was a fusion of two loyal servants of historic Nurbanu. In her young age, in the princely harem of Selim, Nurbanu became acquainted not with Canfeda but with another kalfa, who remained her faithful servant for the rest of her life. Canfeda only became Nurbanu’s main supporter during Selim’s reign.

Like them, Afife Hatun’s character was partly real also. Sultan Suleiman's wetnurse was really called Afife and the sultan always kept in touch with the woman. However, Afife Hatun never moved to Istanbul to rule the Sultan’s harem, but lived a simple life.

Gracia Mendes Nasi was introduced last season as a wealthy Portuguese Jewish woman who helped Portuguese refugees get to Istanbul. Later, Gracia became the lover of Grand Vizier Rüstem Pasha, which made her an enemy of Mihrimah Sultan. In reality, Gracia Mendes was a very benevolent soul who was committed to Jewish traditions and her Jewish brothers. She was never a lover of Rustem and an enemy of Mihrimah. However, like the series, Gracia actually enjoyed the Sultan’s support and, with his help, she made great improvements in Istanbul’s Jewish Quarter and helped many refugees start a new life in the Ottoman Empire.

One of the most interesting guest actors of the last season of the series was Anna Jagello, the daughter of the former King of Poland, the sister of the new King of Poland. Although the woman was a real historical figure, the historical Anna never traveled to Istanbul and never corresponded with Hürrem Sultan. However, Hürrem exchanged letters several times with Anna's mother Bona Sforza, Anna's father, King Sigismund I of Poland, and Anna's brother, the later Zsigmond Ágost II king of Poland, and even Anna's sisterm Isabella, the Hungarian queen. Thanks to the intercession of Hürrem, the relationship between the Kingdom of Poland and the Ottoman Empire was quite good and almost friendly during Suleiman's reign.

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Egy kis karácsonyi meglepetés poszt következik. Youtube-on az egyik legnépszerűbb videóm az volt, amelyben a nem történelmi karaktereket gyűjtöttem össze, elmagyarázva, mennyire voltak kitaláltak, mennyire volt mögöttük egy-egy valós történelmi személy, mint ihlető. Most karácsony alkalmából szeretném nektek összefoglalni a Muhteşem Yüzyil sorozat főbb kitalált karaktereit és történetüket.

A Muhteşem Yüzyil sorozatban több kitalált karakter is jelen volt, sokan már az első percektől kezdve. Egyes kitalált karakterek jelenléte megbocsátható volt, hiszen nagyon kevés részlet maradt ránk a Szulejmán háremében jelenlévő személyekről. Így például Sümbül Aga, Gül Aga, Mercan Aga és más eunuchok karakterei bár nem valódi személyeket keltenek életre, szükségesek voltak a sorozat dramaturgiája szempontjából. Sümbül karaktere volt a legfontosabb az eunuchok között és talán emiatt sokan gondolhatjuk úgy, hogy Hürremnek a valóságban is volt egy ilyen közeli barátja a fő eunuch személyében. Azonban ez nem igaz. Szulejmán uralkodása alatt rengeteg főeunuch váltotta egymást és egyikről sem ismert, hogy különösebben közel álltak volna Hürremhez. Hürrem közeli szolgálói közül csupán egy ismert név szerint, egy Nevbahar nevű nő. Sümbülhöz hasonló volt Nigar Kalfa, Gülsah Hatun, Fidan Hatun, Daye Hatun, Fahriye Kalfa karaktere is. Egyikük sem valós személy volt, ám bizonyosan minden szultánának megvoltak a saját megbízható szolgálói, ahogy ezt a sorozatban is mutatták. Hasonlóan az eunuchokhoz és kalfákhoz megbocsátható füllentésnek tekinthetőek Musztafa herceg és Bayezid herceg ágyasai is, Ayşe, Rana, Defne vagy Rumeysa Hatun. A két herceg asszonyairól ugyanis semmit sem tudunk, egyiküknek sem volt kiemelt jelentőségű főágyasa, gyermekeik más-más nőktől születtek.

Voltak azonban olyan karakterek is, akiket csupán a dráma kedvéért írtak bele a történetbe. Az, hogy ezek közül melyik karakter mennyire volt elfogadható, azt mindenki maga döntse el és nyugodtan írja meg kommentben itt vagy más platformon, hogy mit gondol róluk! Következzék hát a várva várt lista:

Sadika Hatun

Sadika a sorozatban egy magyar nő volt, akinek férjét az esküvőjük napján megölte Szulejmán szultán. Sadika ezek után a magyar király, II. Lajos parancsára Isztambulba utazott, hogy ott személyesen bosszulja meg férje halálát. Matrakci Nasuh Efendi aztán egy véletlen folytán megismerkedik a lánnyal és segít neki bekerülni a hárembe, ahol azonnal Ayşe Hafsa Valide Sultan szolgálatába áll, majd Hatice Sultan főszolgálója lesz. Menetközben természetesen többször is Szulejmán ágyának közelébe kerül, majd lehetősége nyílik a szultánra támadni. Azonban nem jár sikerrel, Szulejmán életben marad, Sadikát pedig a Boszporuszba fojtják.

A valóságban ez a történetszál egyáltalán nem lenne lehetséges. Ha feltételeznénk is azt, hogy Sadika valóban létezett és Szulejmán valóban megölte a férjét, akkor sem állt volna módjába bejutni a szultáni hárembe és bosszút állni. Egyrészt Sadika férjezett asszony volt már, felnőtt nő. A hárembe nem kerülhettek be ilyen nők, csupán szűz, gyermeklányokból válhattak a szultán ágyasai. Mindazonáltal ha Sadika valahogy mégis bekerült volna a hárembe hosszadalmas oktatás várt volna rá, mielőtt a Valide Sultan szolgálatába állhatott volna. Előfordulhatott ugyan néhány kivételes eset, amikor idősebb vagy nem szűz nőket akartak volna a szultánnak ajándékozni, azonban ezek különleges esetek. Ilyen volt például, amikor Hayreddin Barbarossa el akarta rabolni a messze földön ismert, gyönyörű Giulia Gonzagát, megözvegyült itáliai nemesasszonyt, hogy a szultán háremébe küldje ajándéknak. Végül nem járt sikerrel, ám ha sikerrel járt volna is, nem tudni, hogy a szultán valaha is ágyba vitte volna-e a nőt.

Leo

A sorozatban Leo Hürrem fiatalkori szerelme volt, aki azzal a céllal érkezett Isztambulba, hogy megtalálja egykori kedvesét. Leo tehetséges művész, aki Nasuh Efendi segítségével (ahh Nasuh csupa jó embert juttatott a szultán közelébe…) Szulejmán szultán és Pargali Ibrahim festője lesz. Egykori viszonya Hürremmel hamarosan kiderül Pargali Ibrahim számára, aki ezzel próbálja zsarolni Hürremet. Hürrem többször könyörög Leonak, hogy hagyja el a fővárost, de a szerelmes férfi marad, ami végül halálához vezet.

A valóságban Hürrem – és minden más ágyas – még kislányként került oszmán fogságba, tehát kizárt, hogy szerelmük vagy vőlegényük lett volna, ha pedig mégis, az sosem tudott volna rájuk találni. Nasuh Efendi, pedig aki a sorozat egyik legnagyobb baleke – ugyanakkor legkedvesebb karaktere – a valóságban egyáltalán nem ilyen volt, hanem egy csodálatos tudós, aki egyébként nem állt ilyen közeli barátságban sem Szulejmán szultánnal, sem Pargali Ibrahimmal.

Izabella Hercegnő

Izabella Fortuna hercegnő a sorozatban egy spanyol nemes hölgy volt, aki éppen jövendőbeli férjéhez, az osztrák herceghez tartott hajón, mikor az oszmán kalózok elragadták és Isztambulba vitték Szulejmán szultán elé. Először Szulejmán politikai okokból érdeklődött csupán a hercegnő iránt, később azonban beleszeretett. Izabella hercegnő eleinte minden porcikájával ellenállt Szulejmán közeledésének, idővel azonban beleszeretett a szultánba és a szeretője lett. Ezt természetesen Hürrem szultána nem állhatta és mindent megtett, hogy megszabaduljon a hercegnőtől, akit végül Szulejmán küldött el.

A valóságban természetesen elképzelhetetlen lett volna egy ilyen szituáció. Ha feltételezzük is, hogy Izabella létezett és a kalózok fogságába esett, egyetlen katolikus hitben nevelt hercegnő sem vált volna szabad akaratából a szultán ágyasává, előbb lett volna öngyilkos. Azt se felejtsük el, hogy Szulejmán az 1520-as évektől kezdve hűséges volt Hürremhez, a valóságban nem volt egyetlen nő sem, aki éket verhetett volna közéjük több évtizedes kapcsolatuk alatt. Másrészről pedig Izabella Fortuna sosem létezett. Meglepő azonban, hogy valós karakterről mintázhatták. Létezett egy Kasztíliai Izabella ebben a korban, aki 1518-ban született az özvegy aragóniai királyné Germaine Foix és V. Károly gyermekeként, azonban sosem esett oszmán kalózok csapdájába és sosem volt az osztrák herceg menyasszonya. Izabella létezését egész életében titokban tartották szülei, csupán édesanyja végrendeletéből derült fény arra, hogy valaha is létezett. Innen tudni azt is, hogy Izabella fiatalon elhunyt 1537-ben.

Aybige Hatun

A sorozatban Aybige Ayşe Hafsa Sultan unokahúga volt, a krími Sahib Giray kán lánya. Aybige eredetileg csak látogatóba érkezett Isztambulba, később azonban nagynénje szerette volna őt kedvenc unokája, Musztafa herceg feleségeként látni. Aybige azonban Bali Bégbe volt szerelmes és Musztafa is más után vágyakozott. Bali Béget végül majdnem kivégezték a szerelmük miatt, Aybige pedig apjával visszatért a Krímre.

Aybige történetszála szinte minden létező ponton hibádzik. Először is, Ayşe Hafsa sosem volt a Krími kán testvére, tehát a krími kán lánya sem lehetett az unokahúga. Emellett Sahib Giray kánnak bár több lánya volt, egyiket sem hívták Aybigének és egyik lánya sem utazott sosem Isztambulba. Az egész történetszál egyetlen igaz pontja, hogy Sahib Giray kán tényleg együttműködött Szulejmán szultánnal annak moldáv háborújában. Fontos megemlíteni ezen a ponton Bali Béget is. Bali Bég bár valós történelmi személy volt, de a legkisebb egyezés sincs a történelmi Bali Bég és a sorozat Bali Bége között. A valódi Bali Bég nem egy romantikus fickó volt, aki minden második nőbe beleszeretett, és akiért bolondultak a nők. Bali Bég egy kegyetlen hadvezér volt. És ha már Bali Bég szóba jött, ejtsünk néhány szót Musztafa hercegről is. Az ötlet, hogy Musztafát egy kán lányához akarják adni teljesen abszurd! II. Mehmed szultán uralkodása óta tilos volt a hercegeknek házasságot kötni, így Musztafa herceg sem köthetett senkivel házasságot. Az pedig, hogy Szulejmán támogatta volna az ötletet, már ha egyáltalán felmerült volna egy ilyen házasság, még nagyobb abszurdum. Szulejmán nem Musztafát akarta örökösének, így sosem adott volna a kezébe akkora hatalmat, mint a krími kán támogatása.

Firuze Hatun

A sorozatban Firuze egy perzsa kém volt, aki csodálatos képességeivel gyógyítani tudta a beteges Cihangir herceg fájdalmait, amivel kiérdemelte Hürrem szeretetét. Firuze azonban rút módon hálálta meg Hürrem kedvességét, ugyanis Szulejmán titkos szeretője lett, akibe a szultán halálosan beleszeretett. Végül Hürrem csak egy hajszállal volt képes felülkerekedni Firuzén, akit végül száműztek a palotából, így visszatérhetett Perzsiába.

A valóságban Szulejmán hűséges volt Hürremhez, monogám kapcsolatban éltek. Ha előfordult is alkalomadtán egy-egy egyéjszakás kaland, Szulejmán soha nem szeretett bele más nőbe, csak Hürremet szerette. Így a Firuze történetszál már itt el is bukott. A tény, hogy Firuze perzsa kém lett volna érdekes felvetés, bizonyára akadtak kémek minden birodalom királyi udvarába, azonban ők valószínűleg nem az ágyasok között rejtőztek. Az eunuchok például, sokkal nagyobb szabadsággal mozogtak, sokkal könnyebben lefizethetők voltak…

Huricihan Sultan

A sorozatban Huricihan Ibrahim Pasa és Hatice Sultan lánya volt, aki szülei halála után Beyhan Sultan palotájában nevelkedett. Onnan tért vissza Isztambulba, ahol beleszeretett elsőunokatestvérébe, Bayezid hercegbe. Szerelmükből kapcsolat, majd házasság lett a szultán engedélye nélkül. Huricihan Bayezid háremének feje lett és kapcsolata lassanként rendbejött Hürremmel és a szultánnal is. Huricihan végzete végül Szelim herceg ágyasa, Nurbanu lett, aki egy vita hevében leütötte őt, ezzel megölve.

A valóságban Hatice és Ibrahim Pasa sosem voltak házasok, így gyermekük sem született, tehát Huricihan sosem létezett. Ha létezett volna is, a már korábban említett okokból teljesen elképzelhetetlen lett volna, hogy Bayezid feleségül vegye őt akár titokban, akár nyíltan. Különösen tudva, hogy Bayezidnek nem volt sosem kiemelt ágyasa, minden gyermeke más nőtől született. Ilyen háttérrel nem valószínű, hogy valaha is feleségül akart volna venni bárkit. Hatice Sultannak bár valóban volt egy lánya, az 1510-1515 között született, így korban jóval megelőzte Bayezidet, és természetesen sosem volt semmi köze a herceghez és nem is Huricihannak hívták.

Mihrünissa Hatun

A sorozatban Mihrünissa Hayreddin Barbarossa flotta parancsnok lánya volt, akit édesapja küldött Musztafa herceg mellé tanácsadónak. Később a két fiatal egymásba szeretett és a szultán tudta nélkül egybe keltek. Idővel Mihrünissa életet adott Musztafa fiának, Mehmednek is. Miután Musztafa herceget és vele együtt fiát, Mehmedet is kivégezték, Mihrünissa a fővárosba ment és Hürrem szeme láttára elvágta a saját torkát.

A valóságban a már fent többszörösen részletezett okok miatt egy herceg sem köthetett házasságot, így Musztafa sem nősült meg soha. Emellett Barbarossának sosem volt Mihrünissa nevű lánya és Hayreddin Pasa sohasem volt Musztafa herceg támogatója. Ha azonban feltételeznénk is, hogy Mihrünissa létezett, nincs arra esély, hogy Hürrem szeme láttára lehetett volna öngyilkos. Musztafa herceg háreme Bursába vonult vissza, így a hárem egyik tagja sem utazhatott egyetlen percre sem a fővárosba, nemhogy a palotába, Hürrem elé. Így tulajdonképpen a Mihrünissa történet-szál 100%-ban kitaláció volt.

Nazenin Hatun

A sorozatban Nazenin Nurbanuval együtt érkezett Isztambulba, ahol aztán a menopauzával küszködő Hürrem maga küldte őt a szultán elé. Nazenin így a szultán ágyasa lett és hamarosan egy lánygyermeknek, Raziye Sultannak adott életet. Végül Hürrem utasítására Nurbanu ölte meg.

A valóságban, mint már sokszor mondtam, Szulejmán hűséges volt Hürremhez. Emellett Cihangir herceg 1531/2-es születése után Szulejmán nem nemzett több gyermeket, sem Hürremnek sem másnak. Az igaz, hogy volt egy Raziye nevű kislánya, azonban a gyermek 1520-ban néhány éves korában elhunyt egy járvány következtében.

Meglepő valóságok

A sok kitalált karakter után azt gondolhatnánk, hogy az összes eunuch és kalfa kitalált karakter volt, hiszen meglehetősen keveset tudunk a háremről. Azonban ez nem igaz! Volt néhány történelmi ihletésű karakter, mint például Gazanfer Aga, aki bár létezett, és a valaha volt egyik legbefolyásosabb eunuch volt, nem Nurbanu hű embere volt, hanem II. Szelim szultáné. Gazanfer pályája csúcsát egyébként Safiye Sultan uralkodása alatt érte el.

Hasonlóan valós volt Canfeda Hatun is, aki Nurbanu leghűségesebb szolgálója volt és az egyik legbefolyásosabb kalfája korának. Igaz, Canfeda sorozatbeli karaktere, a történelmi Nurbanu két hűséges szolgálójának ötvözéseként született meg. Nurbanu fiatal korában, Szelim hercegi háremében nem Canfedával, hanem egy másik kalfával ismerkedett meg, aki élete végéig hűséges szolgálója maradt. Canfeda csak Szelim uralkodása alatt került képbe és vált Nurbanu fő segítőjévé.

Hozzájuk hasonlóan Afife Hatun karaktere is részben valós volt. Szulejmán szultán szoptatósdajkáját tényleg Afifének hívták és a szultán mindig tartotta a kapcsolatot az asszonnyal. Azonban Afife Hatun sosem költözött Isztambulba, hogy irányítsa a szultáni háremet, hanem egyszerű életet élt.

Gracia Mendes Nasi az utolsó évadban került bemutatásra, mint gazdag portugál zsidóasszony, aki portugál menekülteknek segített Isztambulba jutni. Később Gracia a nagyvezír Rüsztem Pasa szeretője lett, aminek köszönhetően szembe került Mihrimah szultánával. A valóságban Gracia Mendes igen jótét lélek volt, aki elkötelezett volt a zsidó hagyományok és zsidó testvérei iránt. Sosem volt Rüsztem szeretője és Mihrimah ellensége. Azonban a sorozathoz hasonlóan, Gracia a valóságban is élvezte a szultán támogatását és segítségével nagy fejlesztéseket vitt véghez Isztambul zsidó negyedében és nagyon sok menekültnek segített új életet kezdeni az Oszmán Birodalomban.

A sorozat utolsó évadának egyik legérdekesebb vendégszereplője Jagelló Anna volt, az egykori lengyel király lánya, az új lengyel király testvére. Bár az asszony valós történelmi személy volt, a történelmi Anna sosem utazott Isztambulba és sosem levelezett Hürrem szultánával. Azonban Hürrem többször is váltott levelet Anna édesanyjával Bona Sforzával, Anna édesapjával, I. Zsigmond lengyel királlyal, valamint Anna testvérével, a későbbi II. Zsigmond Ágost lengyel királlyal, sőt Anna másik testvérével Izabella, magyar királynővel is. Hürrem közbenjárásának köszönhetően Szulejmán uralkodása alatt meglehetősen jó, szinte baráti volt a viszony a Lengyel Királyság és az Oszmán Birodalom között.

#selim ii #gazanfer agha #gazanfer #suleiman the magnificent #safiye sultan #suleiman i #suleyman i #haseki hürrem sultan #hürrem sultan #nurbanu sultan #aybige hatun #ayse hafsa #ayse hafsa sultan #princess isabella #firuze #firuze hatun

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noro-noro-noro · 2 years

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longest dreams of my fucking life. I slept for 17?? hours. here's what I can remember

1. liu dongcheng working together with injured fei wangfang in a cave with an elder lemurian. character development occurs & fei reveals what he said on his deathbed was all lies. I think they kissed at the end after fei took his hair down. liu was much more emotional & also demonstrated a new technique which was appearing/disappearing from inside the fog. the elder lemurian was confused and this let fei get the deathblow.

2. that turned into the tutorial for PLA?? you had to do things in the past with different types of elemental seeds to surpass obstacles and bring ??? tumbling down. then you were allowed to play the player character. I had this because someone I don't know or like mailed me their switch.cross country.

3. Taiwan, but not really. I was with my mom in rural Taiwan. everything was flooding. there were houses close to the river but our destination was a bit further away. my cousin's wife & younger child were there - this part adds up bc these people actually are in Taiwan for 100 days.

4. Taiwan again, but no longer flooding.

5. something about a magic school. I don't remember. it kept going on. this was absolutely the longest part so I don't know why I can't remember anything.

6. replaying a dream over and over again. first it started with me as some kind of child dinosaur at summer camp, but I kept getting bullied by the other dinosaurs/weird prehistoric creatures. I had a pet lizard or something that kept causing problems. they sent me to the ???'s office, but that person was like a slug that could also roll up into a ball that sounded like roz from monster's inc. my lizard drank all her printer ink & I was like no!!! and then she woke up & started attacking my lizard to suck all the printer ink out and spit it back into the cartridge. she was successful, but I managed to trap her in her ball form. after I did that, the kid who had been bullying me showed up, but saw me win a fight against an adult & ran away. I let her out of ball form & explained the situation & she was surprisingly nice about it. we went into the back yard for her to show me something (nighttime now) & we ended up running into this hedgehog girl also from the camp & she said a shark guy showed up & was eating everyone. I thought we could maybe save them. the summer camp area was now my mom's house. the shark guy was trapping people to eat later.

7. it became closer to real life, where there was a creature in my mom's house & I had to free everyone. no more animals. If I held my breath and closed my eyes I could become invisible, but it needed a few seconds to activate and only lasted for as long as I could hold my breath. I knew the general solution for this part, but the shark creature's movements were RNG. I wanted to get through without any casualties, so I'd restart every time I made a mistake or if he saw someone. I was worried he'd start moving when sprinting towards me on the pause menu so I never looked at him. I almost managed to get through once & climbed a tree in the front yard to get away from him, but he found me and bit my spine in half. i managed to pause before I blacked out and died.

8. nighttime still. couldn't find my cousin's kid's dad - his stuff was all out in the woods in the middle of the night and we had sealed our home to the shark creatures (yes, there were more now), but we just couldn't afford to go find him. it wasn't safe. my little cousins + one older sister age 12 named Anna that was very clearly based off the girl from my Chinese class also named Anna were both there. I said I would make them cute little cards to keep them from getting scared with their favorite Pokemon on there, but then they had to go to bed because it was late. we had Vaporeon, hu Tao's ghost, & something I don't remember for Anna. she was being very contrary anyway and not giving me a good answer. i couldn't draw in my dream and ended up drawing like 7-8 weird hu tao ghosts for my little cousin that were all weird and fucked up, but she still liked it. their mom told me to turn the weather on & press *3 to print a screenshot of it. I tried it, but * needed me to press shift on the remote & I didn't know where that was.

#dreams

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purrincesskittens · 4 years

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Bustier Salt with Lila and Chloe redemption maybe with Caline's former students just ripping into Caline?

Lila had been exposed and it was something she wasn't happy with. She didn't get expelled but she did end up getting inhouse suspension so she couldnt miss anymore school then she already had. Ms. Bustier wasn't in charge of the suspension so Lila actually got the help she needed to get caught up to pace for her grade level. She's smart and it wasn't that difficult for her to get caught up it was more of a matter of getting her to focus and do the work. Trained professionals worked with her in and out of school to help her be able to be integrated back into society. Her mother spent time with her more often and gave her the attention she wanted so she was improving. Test groups where Lila was introduced to peers her own age showed they would take what she said with a grain of salt and were cautious but willing to be civil and friendly towards her. Unfortunately when she was to be placed back into a class Ms. Bustier somehow manipulated it so that she had Lila back in her class.

Chloe was improving separated from Sabrina who was placed in a different class Chloe was actually doing her own work. Well when she bothered turning it in anyway. Her father was no longer Mayor anymore removing the influence and power that backed her. Election time had come and gone and new term limits prevented her father from running again. Ladybug entrusting her with a different miraculous during a incredibly difficult akuma where she was running out of options worked wonders surprisingly. What Chloe didn't tell anyone was Wayzz had been willing to work with her into improving herself to be a better person. Having the miraculous of protection which did far less damage than the bee did also helped. She was improving slowly. She apologized to everyone she had ever bullied and had been forgiven by Marinette at least who was willing to try to be her friend in class. Ms. Bustier still babied her though and left it up to Marinette to chastise her when she acted up and left it up to Marinette to be a good role model for her. Unfortunately her transfer request to a different class was rejected after Ms. Bustier convinced the principal it was a better idea to keep her with her friend and role model Marinette who she said didn't want to leave her other friends in the class and had only put in her own transfer request to make Chloe feel better.

Lila shifted uncomfortably in her seat in the back Chloe and Marinette sat across from her but she could still feel the occasional glare from the others as one turned in their seat to look at her. She really wished she had been put in a different class. One that would give her a chance to show she has improved. Marinette sent her a sympathetic look. Marinette and Chloe had been the only two willing to give her a chance. Adrien had been but he was moved to a different class along with Sabrina. Ms. Bustier kept a tight grip on her students determined not to let any of the others slip through her grasp and escape to a different class.

"Okay class today we will be having some of the older students from this school and a few former students post graduates of my class come in to speak to you about your last few years of school and entering the work force. We will start with the current students and move onto my former students. Shall we begin?" Ms. Bustiers smiled as she clapped her hands gesturing to one of the older students to start. An older brunette girl stepped forward to talk about the increased workload and more difficult assignments and how to manage your time and priorities to ensure you complete everything on time and accurately. Another older boy stepped forward to talk about balancing social life with school work and making sure you don't fall into the wrong crowd which sparked a comment from Alya who still hadn't forgiven Lila and blamed her for her ruined blog. "We already know about the wrong crowd and we refuse to be a part of it. If Marinette wants to hang out with bullies so be it."

This caused both the older students and Ms. Bustiers former students to frown as Ms. Bustier completely ignored the interruption and moved them on to the next student. A familiar dark haired older boy stepped forward next causing Marinette to perk up and wave at Itsuki who gave her a small smile in return. "I'll be talking about exclusion and how it can be just as bad as physical bullying." He announces. Ms. Bustier frowns at this as a murmur runs through her class. "Now now I don't think we need to talk about that no one is being excluded in my class or bullied so there is no need to be talking about that." She says gently trying to guide the conversation back to what she wanted and moved onto her former students who would be sure to talk about the message she had taught them during their time as her students.

"Excuse me Ms. Bustier but bullying is an important topic to talk about because it doesn't just end in lower secondary or collège as its called here. It can happen up through lycée and in the workplace as well." Another older boy in jeans and a loose band tee with long dirty blonde hair stepped up next to Itsuki. "Your students comment just now can be taken as verbal bullying. Bullying is serious and needs to be addressed so your students understand the difference between exclusion for the purpose of being mean and just being excluded because your not friends with a certain group. Take Itsuki and me for example we both know Marinette and a few others in this class and sometimes hang out with them but not everyone in this class do we hang out with. Those we don't hang out with may be excluded from a group activity we are doing but not for the purpose of being mean but simple because they aren't a part of our friend group. Excluding one particular person or a small group of them from a class activity such as a field trip or dance is bullying. " JJ explains trying to get their message across only to be brushed off by the teacher much to his frustration.

"My students aren't doing that Marinette is just being difficult is all. If she hadn't made trouble in the first place she wouldn't feel like she is being excluded which she isn't all she has to do is apologize and be a good role model and everything will go back to the way it was." Ms. Bustier waved the two older boys off giving her star pupil a bright beaming smile. "Let's move on shall we my former students still haven't had a chance to talk and we are running out of time." They still had plenty of time for Itsuki and JJ to talk as well as the post graduates but Ms. Bustier wasn't going to listen to anything she didn't want to hear. "Now Delphine and Adam it's your turn to speak and I know you guys will set a wonderful example for my current students after all you two were some of my best students and now look at how successful you are." With a wave the teacher gestured for the two adults to step forward completely oblivious to the deep frowns on their faces or the scowl she was receiving from JJ behind her.

"You're still going on about being a role model to other students? I would have thought you would have given up on that after what happened with Eve." Adam commented arms crossed. "Now Adam I know you and Eve were close but..." Adam interrupted his former teacher before she could continue. "We were cousins. Family of course we were close. We were not dating like many thought something you never bothered to correct. You knew we were related to each other but you stood there and did nothing while our classmates spread it around the school that we were dating. Eve was bullied for supposedly dating her cousin by others in the school." Ms. Bustier interrupted him with a gasp and a hurt expression unable to belive her own former student her shining example for his graduating class would speak to her like this. "I didn't know you two were related why didn't you say something?"

Adam growled glaring, "We did say something we said numerous times we weren't dating and all it would have taken was a look into our files to see that our mothers were twin sisters not that you ever did so. You never checked anyones records for anything. You saw Eve being bullied but did nothing to stop it simply told her to set a good example and show those bullying her how to behave. And you know how that ended don't you? Eve didn't even make it to graduation. She committed suicide halfway through our Première year because she was being bullied so bad she couldn't take it anymore. "

A silence fell across the classroom as the current students took in what was just said. JJ couldn't help but rub at the tattoos that covered his wrists and inside of his forearms feeling the raised marks the art hide. Delphine was the one to break the silence next. "You seemed to think I was successful but let me tell you something. I only just became successful within the past year. You want to know why it took me so long when I was on the fast track to success while still in school? It's because I dropped out of University and ended up in a mental hospital for over a year after I had a nervous breakdown and couldn't pull myself together. All thanks to your teachings on being a good example, being a role model and let's not forget all the pressure and expectations you placed on me."

The woman scoffed giving her former teacher a cold look before continuing."I couldn't say no to anyone and took on more than I could handle. You pressured me into a career choice that I didn't even want to do all because I wasn't sure what exactly I did want to do so you pushed me into being a surgeon just because I was fascinated by human biology. You pushed me into that. You were the one who pushed me into the path of the breakdown and you know something? You really shouldn't be a teacher."

Bonus: "I didn't even have anything to do with Lila being exposed. That was all Uncle Jagged. It's not like I told him to come to my school. I can't control what he does. He's Jagged he does what he wants." Marinette mutters from her seat in the back. Chloe snorts holding back a laugh. "Yeah and what he wanted was for you to design him a jacket like the one you made Luka and he just couldn't wait till you got home and just had to come marching into the school while it was in session to commission you. And then Alya couldn't keep her big mouth shut and thrust her phone in his face wanting to know all about how Lila saved his kitten."

#ml salt prompt #ml salt #ms. bustier salt #dark salt #dark #opps #a bit darker than I intended #mentions of suicide #implied self harm #I don't think you were expecting it to be this dark #ms. bustier shouldn't be a teacher #lila redemption #chloe redemption #Jagged does what he wants #uncle jagged #jagged stone

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phebia · 4 years

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Making Family, Prologue

So, I can’t really write for shit but I love to do it. Normally, I just write for myself and don’t publish any of my fics but I figured posting a few couldn’t hurt. I’m almost done watching On My Block (I know I’m late to the party ya’ll) and I’ve had this fic idea bouncing around my head for a while now. If you read it, I hope you enjoy it hehe.

People like to pretend that family is all about blood. The DNA in your core is what decides who your family is, and that's just how it is. Few people know the truth behind that rule. Know that it's a blatant lie. Blood doesn't mean shit. The people I shared my blood line with were far from what family should be. My parents were never physically abusive. A hand never struck me and I never had a bruise courtesy of them. That didn't mean that they were good, though. Words can hit just as hard as fists. Every syllable knocked me to the ground and it got harder to get to my feet each time. Neglect wasn't a word I liked to use, but it was exactly what the lawyer explained it as in court. My parents were mean when they were present but most of the time they were gone. Their presence in my life wasn't strong or positive. I wasn't quite sure how it started. If I had to guess, I'd say that Ruth and Arthur Connelly- the elderly couple next door, finally decided to speak up. They didn't know anything for certain. Not that they had to. It wasn't hard to notice the empty driveway and hear the screaming echoes. It had been a Thursday when she showed up. Caroline Jennings was a fresh-out-of-college social worker. I would eventually learn that I was just her third case. She had blown into my life like a storm, her blonde hair looking more like sunshine. The first thing I noticed about her were her straight teeth, shining as she smiled sweetly at me. I didn't know that taking a few minutes to talk to her would change my life. Dragging an almost 18 year old from a group home to court and back again was harder than Caroline had thought it would be. Her past two cases had been a 5 year old and 2 year old respectively. They hadn't known what was going on. I did. I knew exactly what was happening at every point in time. Caroline had shown up in late April and the judges gavel slammed down for the last time in the end of August. I spent my 18th birthday in a group home full of strangers. Katrina was a kind hearted Latina woman with stern eyes who ran a relatively recent group home all on her own. She didn't ask for help from anyone and she surely didn't need it. I had been there for months but that didn't mean living in a home that wasn't really yours was easy. I wasn't close to the other girls that called the old farm house home. Teenagers were filled with mean comments that would leave a mark if they chose to say them out loud, and they always chose to say them out loud. Apparently mean things were okay as long as it wasn't your parents saying them. I kept out of their way. Minded my own business. Tried to make my plush form as small as possible no matter how fruitless my efforts were, all in an attempt to be ignored. It was funny that after so many years of being alone, I became comfortable in the isolation. In the months it took for the lawyers and social workers in charge of my case to find someone willing to take me in I had legally become an adult, but Caroline had kept my case open as a favour to me. I may have been legal, but it would've been nearly impossible for me to survive on the streets of Waterdown alone. I didn't know much about my extended family and it was impossible to blame anyone for not wanting to take in an 18 year old stranger, but that didn't make the ache of being unwanted any less painful. It was on a late May day that I first heard the name Geny Martinez. Caroline had sat me down and did her best to explain how exactly we were related but all I caught was that it was through my mom's side and she could be referred to as a distant aunt of mine. That also seemed to be the only Caroline understood herself. The tremor of surprise that first hit me when I learned I had family in California looking to take me in lingered for days on end. It still clung to my nerves during the first week of summer when I first met Geny and her husband Ruben. Caroline had told me they were being flown out but it didn't make looking into her brown eyes any easier. Behind her beautiful face there was stress and concern, Ruben on the other hand seemed much more relaxed. Leading them through town was awkward, but sitting down in the local Starbucks and actually having a conversation was much worse. Geny had confessed she didn't know who my mother was or how we were related (a trend that seemed popular) but she was still willing to take me in. I couldn't help but laugh when she had warned me about Freeridge and told me she wouldn't blame if I refused their offer. The thought of living with strangers pulled my stomach into knots of anxiety but it was a much better option than fending for myself on the streets of Waterdown, which I undoubtedly knew I'd have to do soon if the Martinez family didn't work. The next day the couple was gone, but they had taken my phone number with them. I didn't hear from Ruben very often, Geny on the other hand texted me multiple times a day and slowly filled me in on her family and Freeridge. The first time I visited Freeridge was in the early days of June and I visited once more over the summer. My last visit had ended in the early weeks of July and I left feeling decently comfortable with my new... I wasn't sure what to call them, but family seemed to be the easiest word to use. I was set to return in a month, this time for good.

My first introduction to California had been a blast of hot air to the face. A part of me had been hoping that Los Angeles would've cooled down in the time that I was away, but Ruby had drilled the weather patterns of Freeridge into my head and I should've listened to him. He even suggested I get my hands on an entirely new wardrobe if possible. According to the young Latino all of Canada was frigid year round and no clothing suitable for my hometown would be fitting for my new one. I had laughed at the harebrained boy but my tie dye hoodie and black leggings earned me some looks from strangers in the airport and I quickly decided I probably should've listened to him. My slight familiarity of LAX made grabbing my luggage a less anxious process than it was the first time I had done it, despite the fact that I now had a few more bags with me. My life may not have been grand, but I needed more than a single suitcase to move it to a new country. With a small grunt I heaved my final suitcase off of the baggage claim belt, and after a brief scan of my belongings I turned, starting to look around for Geny or Ruben. However, I quickly froze in place when my eyes landed on a small familiar form marching towards me. My sunglasses gave Ruby a green tint but he and his scowl were unmistakable. "Hey..." My hopeful greeting faded off as my distant cousin stopped before me and gave me a judgemental once over, then turned his attention to my luggage without a word. "I told you not to wear your cold weather clothes. No one listens to me!" All I could do was stare as he shook his head to himself and struggled to get a good grip on a couple of my bags. "I knew that you'd mess up. You're lucky I brought these for you." With a large flounce of his arms he had dropped the bags and turned to hold a pair of simple, two strap, white sandals in my face. I quickly snatched the shoes from him with an unimpressed grimace and uncomfortable slouch in my shoulders due to the attention he had gained us. Ruby ignored my displeasure and went back to my belongings with a dramatic roll of his eyes, now muttering to himself in Spanish. "Easy on the Spanish, bro. She's a gringo, remember?" A new voice took my attention off of Ruby and it only took me a second to recognise Mario, who had wandered up to us at some point during his brother's rambling. A relieved smile pulled at my lips at the sight of him. Mario was my age and his laid back demeanour had made him much more approachable than his younger brother, or anyone else in Freeridge really. His mom had coerced him into showing me around Freeridge during my first visit and our time spent together had turned us into surprisingly close companions. He was undeniably my first, and best, friend in town, and he'd be damned if anyone tried to take the title from him. And although his words were true, I couldn't help but scowl at the term while I moved to embrace him. "Teach me Spanish, then." It was a discussion we had often, ever since I had expressed a desire to learn the language after quickly feeling out of place in the Martinez household. Mario had always laughed at that and claimed that I would be a terrible student, whomst he would never waste his precious time on. "I have no time." He shook his head and smiled at me as we both pulled away from the hug. This time though, his words were true. He was headed off to Berkeley tomorrow and although it was a huge accomplishment, a part of me couldn't help but wish he wouldn't go. With Mario gone I'd likely be stuck hanging out with Ruby and his friends. There was nothing wrong with the soon to be freshman's, other than the fact that I was a good four years older than them. But that was something I'd have to get over. Ruby was mature for his age and I was in no position to be selfish. Mario already put off his departure by a full day just so he could take a few hours to help me unpack and, in his words give me, "A real welcoming home." I rolled my eyes at his ever persistent refusal, shaking my head and turning away so that he wouldn't be able to see the smile on my face. "I'll teach you Spanish, Selina." Ruby had joined my side, looking up at me with my black and white backpack slung over his shoulders, seemingly over his earlier fashion fury. "You already have the name for it. Selina." The thick Spanish accent he accentuated my name with and tilt of his head brought a loud burst of laughter out of me. "Ah, so you're over my wardrobe." I placed a hand on his head and gestured at my hoodie, managing to grind my knuckles against his head and mess his hair up before he escaped my reach. "You know what? You can find a new teacher." He sassed, spinning around and marching way without hesitation, leaving me to grab a suitcase and catch up with him, both of us leaving Mario behind to take care of the rest of the bags. In a few long strides I caught up to his short form, wrapping my arm around his neck from behind and pressing my cheek firmly against his temple. "I missed you, Ruby." I smiled softly, tilting my head to press a swift kiss to his forehead, remaining quiet about the goofy smile I spotted forming on his face. Together we walked in silence, the constant noise of the airport drowning out the way my black vans scuffed against the linoleum floors. "Hey, do you think we should help your brother?" My sudden remembrance of Mario caused me to stop and glance back. My brown eyes scanned the crowds around us, the younger boy also turning to look for his brother. Eventually Mario walked into our sights, scowling harshly and dragging more bags behind him than both Ruby and I both had combined. "Nah." Ruby decided, shaking his head and beginning to walk once more, dragging my plush form along with him. "I still can't believe your mom let you two come pick me up, alone." I had been talking about my surprise airport escorts for the majority of the ride back to Freeridge, and I was sure both boys were overly irritated with me. But, knowing Geny meant knowing how protective she was of her children, even if one of them was an adult about to move away. Things just weren't making sense. Ruby had interrupted my constant musing with stories about what had went down while I was gone, but the distraction didn't last nearly as long as he had hoped. After his brother's failed attempt at silencing me, Mario resorted to steadily cranking the radio up until it drowned out my voice. But all that did was give us all a slight headache and I was still talking as we pulled up to the house. "What? Why? I'm responsible." My eyebrows raised at Mario's offended voice crack, choosing to share a silent look with Ruby instead of doing my teasing aloud. Despite my effort, the older Latino caught the exchange and scoffed loudly, practically shoving me out of the car. "Get out of my sight." I lingered, watching him and Ruby move to the trunk, hesitant to leave the brothers to lug all my things inside themselves. "We got this." Mario caught me looking and waved his hands at me, shooing me away from them once more. "Let the muscle handle it, Selina." Ruby nodded at me and flexed his arms, and that was all the encouragement I needed to leave them be. With a grin and shake of my head I shuffled up the walkway, and debated knocking on the door for a moment but Geny had scolded me whenever I did that so I ending up opting to walk in unannounced. "Surprise!" Confetti was popped in my face and a loud gasp burst out of me at the sudden shock. My heart raced in my chest as my shoulders heaved with uneven breath, my eyes wide and looking over the group of people smiling widely at me. I recognised most of them within a second prompting a laugh of relief to spill past my lips, my laughter causing everyone else to cheer once more. "Welcome home, mija." Geny was the first person to move, rushing towards me with her arms open wide and a glowing smile on her face. "Hi, Aunt Geny." I groaned into the hug but forced a grin onto my face, nearly sighing in relief when she released me from her iron grip. She continued to coo over me, her hands holding my face and squishing my cheeks together until Ruben arrived to greet and save me. I watched the couple walk away with soft eyes until the sound of someone tsking reached my ears. Turning my head to the right revealed Ruby's friend Jamal shaking his head at me, his lanky arms crossed over his chest. "A hoodie? Girl, in this weather? You must be crazy." I sighed and looked to the popcorn ceiling, pushing the sleeves of my sweater to my elbows. Maybe I was starting to sweat a bit, but I'd never admit it to any of the California natives who were just waiting for my admission of defeat with baited breath. "Save it. I already got the lecture from, Ruby." I held my hand out to silence him before he could get another word out, a tiny grin warming my features. "I bet you did." He shook his head but a moment later he was smiling back at me. "Welcome to Freeridge, Selina. Permanently this time!" I thanked him sweetly and promised to come back later with my review of his dad's barbecue. I weaved my way through the house, greeting neighbours with varying levels of enthusiasm depending on my familiarity with them. At some point the twins had stolen me away to play with them, but I was sent right back into the fray when Geny walked in on me being forced to help build a block castle. Not long after leaving the youngest Martinez's behind I collapsed onto the couch next to the oldest one. My head lazily rested against the back of the couch, tilting so that I could look at the woman beside me. Her brown eyes were already fixed on me and she reached out to squeeze my cheek, much like her daughter had. The two of us looked at each other in silence for a minute, Abuelita eventually breaking it. "You want a hit? My stuff's in the basement." I laughed at her offer, nodding my head and promising her that we were on for tonight. The silence between us was a welcome break from the surprise party and there was no need to interrupt it. We were both more than content to watch the people milling about, her hand gently resting over my own which was sat in my lap. I had been focused on watching Ruby and Jamal do their best to ditch one of the neighbourhood girls around their age, who was very obviously invading their personal bubble, when I was distracted by the woman to my right once again. "I think you're going to like it here, mija." Abuelita's voice was quiet and soft but it rang out in my head clearly, a reminder that there was no more going back to my old life. "I hope so."

#spooky x reader #oscar diaz x reader #spooky imagine #oscar diaz imagine #on my block #on my block imagine #plus size reader #plus size fic #plus size imagine

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kittyboones · 3 years

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Title: Puppy Eyes - Welcome To B/ullworth, Kitty

Relationship(s): Kitty Drage (C/CE S/I) & G/ary S/mith

Notes: hi i came up with this story like a year ago, when i was really into bully, and now i remembered how cute gary was and hhrn :] anyways, i have like 50 or so chapters in the drafts, so uhm yeah, hopefully i will remember to write those and post them onto here! i also am posting this on my ao3 and wattpad, teehee

Kitty Drage was looking out of the window as the car they were currently seated in drove past houses and buildings in the town of Worcester. Kitty was supposed to be living in Worcester with their aunt and uncle, plus their 4 older cousins. They were going to enroll at the private school that was in the next town over, but since where Kitty's aunt and uncle lived in Worcester, which was in close proximity to their school, Kitty's parents agreed to let them stay there until the end of Kitty's enrollment at what Kitty would consider their new school for a while.

Soon the car came to an end and both their parents got out of the car, leaving Kitty alone before they decided to get out as well, looking at their parents. Their mother gave them a light smile and waved them over to kiss them goodbye. A slight red lipstick was left on their forehead and their mother quickly laughed before wiping it away. Their aunt, Joni, raised her hand, giving a small wave before commenting that how Kitty was bigger than they were last time she had seen them.

«Come on darling, we don't have much time, I promised I would have you at Bullworth by 12 so you could get lots of time to unpack, meet your roommates and even get to your last class, or technically first.» Joni waved Kitty over to follow her to the car and Kity jogged over to her. Joni went and opened the car, letting Kitty take a seat in the Toyota Camry. Kitty took in the sights of the town of Bullworth. It seemed like a busy town where lots of people knew of each other and know where every store and house was. People were walking through the streets.

«Kitty, why are you so quiet? You okay back there?» Kitty turned away from the window and towards aunt Joni. Kitty let out a sigh. They were excited, they didn't miss anyone from Norway, but many thoughts ran through their head. What if people were nasty to them? What if they got bullied for their voice and how they would pronounce certain words? What if they looked weird compared to American students? They shook their head before answering. «I'm alright, just a bit tired.»

The rest of the car ride was silent and soon Kitty got out of the vehicle and grabbed their bag. «Do you want me to come with you in to the school? Help you with getting your things inside?» Kitty jolted up from their seat and shook their head quickly, before stepping away from the car and said their goodbyes to their aunt, who was driving by slowly, waving to them with a bit too much excitement.

At a quick pace, Kitty was walking through the gates of the academy and towards the center of the paths to what they assumed were the dorms, on each side of the path. Not that far away from them, a small group of boys was harassing a boy.

Seeing how the boy was being pushed around, which looked to be a quite annoying experience for the male, gave Kitty a dose of bravery and confidence, making them walk towards the boys. «Hey, leave him be.» They told, making direct eye contact with 2 of them.

«Oh look, the psychopath has a girlfriend.» One of them spoke, making Kitty feel a strange bit annoyed and furious. Not only was it because they didn't know the 'psychopath' in question, but they were bringing them into this. The two boys were still bothering the annoyed make and messed up his hair. «I said leave him be. Or, I uh, or I'll get an adult. Or I will fight you!» The two boys laughed, Kitty, standing their ground as they gave their best glare.

One of the boys walked towards them and they gulped for air, their knees shaking underneath them. Without thinking, Kitty started running towards him, ready to pounce onto him, like an excited pet, the difference between Kitty and an excited pet is that Kitty was far from excited and acting out of sheer fear.

Only a few inches away from the male, and he raised his fist, and it hit Kitty directly in the face, making them groan in pain, their body falling back onto the ground. Everything blacked and spun, making Kitty feel nauseous. The last thing they were able to see before they drifted off was the same guy who was getting pushed around getting pushed one last time before he made his way towards Kitty.

... (one hour later) ...

Kitty's eyelids flitted open, and they sat up. They soon realized how much of a headache they had, and they weren't on the ground anymore. They were instead lying on a bed, in what they could assume was a boy's dorm, based on how messy it was. «So, you were the kid who distracted Russell's morons and got knocked out as quickly as you ran towards them. Impressive.»

Kitty jumped up in fear after hearing the voice and fell onto the floor. They got up and looked at where the voice came from, seeing a teen boy. maybe about 16 or 17, leaning on the doorframe. He had his hair parted to the left, his skin had a bit of acne, brown eyes, and a scar over his right eye. Kitty thought they even saw a mole or two on the right side of his face. Kitty wouldn't say he was the most attractive, but they weren't one to comment on such.

Kitty gave a slow nod to the male, unsure how to reply. They kept their gaze upon him, not knowing whether to look around the room they were currently in or to keep staring at him. «So, you're the new kid.» Kitty blinked for a few seconds and Tilted their head, an expression of confusion on their face. «Uh, I guess I am.. How did you know?»

The male let out a small laugh and smiled in their direction. Kitty felt a bit unsettled but listened anyway. «Haven't seen you in Bullworth before, so I just assumed. I could also assume you are the pathetic cousin of the prep chick from the town over. Been hearing so much about how the Helanie Kingham's pathetic cousin who was sent to Bullworth, and you seem to fit the bill.»

Pathetic cousin? The Nordmann let out a sigh and looked down. Kitty nodded slowly, before looking back at the stranger. He was trying to not let out a loud laugh. «You can laugh if you really think it's that funny. Selvsagt så ville Helanie kalt meg patetisk..»

Kitty looked around the room for a clock or anything that could indicate what time it could be. They turned to the stranger and decided to continue the chat. «Look, I uhh gotta get to my class, so if you could tell me where an office or anything is, I would really appreciate it.»

«Classes are done for the day. You got soo knocked out that you missed the last period.» He had answered nonchalantly and Kitty reacted by blinking a few times. Panic set in they got up, walking back and forth around the room, trying their best to ignore the headache they had.

«What?! How long was I knocked out for? And why am I even here? Considering you're a guy and considering you are here, I can only assume this is the boys dorm.» The Nordmann let out a small shocked shriek, making the boy let out a loud laugh. «For about 1 to 2 hours. And I brought you here. Couldn't leave ya on the ground to get stepped on, could I?»

Kitty felt a large mix of emotions; confused, angered, flattered, to name a few. Not knowing how to answer, Kitty just asked where the exit was and the young man led them towards it. He opened the door for himself and let it start closing as soon as Kitty came behind. They rolled their eyes and kept quiet, not wanting to speak up about something as stupid as holding the door open and closing it.

«I'm Gary. So what is your name, Kingham's cousin?» Gary introduced himself and turned to Kitty as soon as they both walked down the stairs of the boys' dorm. Kitty turned to him and tilted their head before looking down at the ground.

«Kitty.. Kitty Drage. Pathetic cousin of Helanie Kingham at your service.» They responded, Gary laughing in response. «You know, Dragie, if you want to survive this shit hole, you're gonna have to stick with the sharks or get eaten along with the small fish.»

Due to the comment made by Gary, Kitty turned to Gary, an expression of confusion and slight content on their face. «Are you the small fish or the shark in this situation? Because either way, I think I wouldn't be able to get rid of you.»

For a second, Gary thought about what Kitty had said before turning towards them, a small grin was evident but disappeared quickly. «I'm gonna let you guess which one.» Kitty put a hand on their chin and made a quiet 'hmm'-like sound, while inspecting Gary. «You're one of the sharks. You gave off more shark vibes than small fishy vibes.» Surprisingly, Gary let out a chuckle that sounded content with what Kitty had said, which made them smile a smile bit before they giggled.

"OK, but I kinda still need to find an office, so I can get like my schedule and all that stuff," Kitty spoke, scratching their neck nervously. Gary looked over at them and started to show them the way towards a large building, which he explained was the main building, where all classes except P.E and bike shop were located.

#sage.txt #Sage's OCs #☾ ─ puppy eyes #s/i: Kitty Drage #F/O: Gary Smith #reblogs are appreciated #// long post #this sucks but *shakes booty* that's alright :] im no pro.

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multmilk · 4 years

Text

The Babysitter | m.l

Pairing: Babysitter!Mark x Reader (ft.bff!lucas)

Genre: Fluff and Smut

Word count: 5555 (hahahaHHHH)

Warnings: thigh riding, voyeurism, finger-fucking, risky sex?, unprotected sex (stay safe when hitting it kids!!), teasing/suggestive themes, dom!mark. mention of baby vomit, talk of death and kidnap (light-hearted).

Summary: Y/N’s parents don’t trust that she’ll be able to take care of her baby cousin alone for an entire week. So, they hire Mark Lee of www.babyhelpers.com. Feeling frustrated, Y/N makes it her mission to prove to her parents that she’s just as good as the babysitter they hired and sets a competition for the two of them.

It's all fun and games ‘til somebody falls in love, right?

listen to: carousel– melanie martinez (the whole album—crybaby, inspired me to do this)

note: also, this was supposed to be found your love but hah I changed the title and the whole story itself lmaooo sorryyy. Also, the cover was supposed to be like mark in shock with all cute baby things surrounding him but it didn’t turn as good as I hoped so I just changed the whole concept hdsjkd AND mark with babies r the best uwu (also ft. tangled my all time favorite princess movie !!)

“He’ll be here tomorrow, honey. His name’s Mark Lee,” your mother said as she was slipping on her sandals. “So you’re telling me, you absolutely trust this stranger to take care of my 7 month-old cousin? And that this, complete stranger, knows how to handle a baby?” you scoff and put your hands on your hips.

You cannot believe that they trust this Mark fucking Lee with your cousin? To say you were feeling bitter was an understatement. “My colleagues recommend me to this site and to ask for specifically him. He’s gonna be great, Y/N. He has a good reputation and I’ve also seen him volunteer in church,” your mom replies with her own eyeroll, obviously knowing how salty you felt about all of this. “Still, what if he turns out to be a murderer? Not all Christian men are good you know,” you reply again and your mother huffs.

“You can always kick ass Y/N dear, we all know you’re more than capable to protect yourself,” “Also, he’s going to stay here. Make sure to give him pillows and a blanket,” “Woah woah,” your dad interjects, “He cannot stay here with two young females,�� “Yeah let him stay somewhere else mom!” you chime in but your mother shakes her head and insists that it’d be easier for the boy to work if he stays at home. “Bye dear, be nice to Mark!” your mother bids you goodbye and closes the door.

---

MONDAY

You’ve stalked this Mark all night. He sure looked nice and you were pretty sure that being nice is just his front. I mean, who looks like God’s favorite boy and actually is a good guy? That wouldn’t be possible, of course it wouldn’t be.

It was currently 8 am and your baby cousin was still asleep in her crib. You’re currently drinking coffee and gazing outside your window, thinking about a lot of things. Like, what if he actually is better at taking care of your cousin than you? You can’t let that happen, your pride completely taking over. Which lead you to a plan and that is to observe how Mark ‘works’ and completely do everything to mess his routine up. Once you’ve succeeded, you’re going to make sure that he and your parents both knew that you are just as good a sitter he is. Feeling proud of your thought, you headed back to the dining room to cook some breakfast.

Ding. You walk up to the door and open it to see Mark Lee, God’s favorite creation, right in front of your eyes. He’s even more cute in personal. Wait no, he’s your competitor.

“Oh hi, is this Ms. Y/L/N’s house?” he asks as he looks into your eyes. You straighten up your posture albeit your knees falling weak to his sweet voice. “Yeah, I’m their daughter,” you say with arms crossed over your chest, making your breasts more prominent. Mark’s eyes leave yours for a second to glance at your breasts but quickly returns to your eyes again.

“I’m Mark Lee. I suppose you’re not the one I’m going to babysit the whole week?” he laughs a little. He takes his hand out of his pocket for you to shake but you just stare straight into his eyes. “Of course not. Jiji’s sleeping. She’s quite demanding for a 7 month-old, so if you can’t handle her just holler,” you say as you step aside for him to enter the house. He places his backpack on the couch and sits down. “I wasn’t expecting someone else to be here. You’re old enough to take care of her so why not just leave her to you? It could’ve saved you guys money,” he says. “Oh so me being here makes your task of ransacking our house a little harder doesn’t it?” you challenge and he giggles. He fucking giggles. What twenty-one year old giggles? “I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear your horrible assumption of who I am. Anyway, so why not just leave her to you? Unless,” he trails off and you raise your eyebrows at him, silently urging him to continue. “Unless they don’t think you’re capable enough to take care of her,” and then he smirks. You turn your back to him and go up to your room.

What a way to show him you’re an adult, Y/N. Walking out when offended? Real classy.

---

Surprisingly enough, Mark was good at taking care of Jiji. You just sat back and watched TV while he plays with the baby, feed her, cradle her to sleep and change her diapers. He really was good with babies, but whatever he could do, you could do better. Or so you think.

You’ve observed that no matter the noise or interesting thing that’s playing on the television could distract him from paying attention to your little cousin. He’s also very creative. In a span of 5 hours and 30 minutes, he’s created a brand-new rendition of the Alphabet Song that’s way better than the original one. He’s managed to help Jiji count from one to ten which makes him a good and patient teacher.

You, however, is the complete opposite of Mark. Sure, you were very handsy with kids but with babies? Your patient runs thin and you have got quite a temper, not really good for babies if you get annoyed as soon as they cry and don’t stop. That’s going to change tomorrow, you’ll step up your game and make sure your parents come back to a new and improved you.

You woke up to the cries of your cousin. She slept just a few spaces away from you and you quickly felt annoyed that your sleep was ruined but grew even more annoyed when you see Mark by the doorway, looking like he woke up from his slumber as well. He rushes to the crib and carefully picks her up. He shushes her and sway side-to-side as he hums to her.

“Give her to me Mark,” you say standing up “Nonesense, this is my job. Go back to sleep Y/N,” he continues to rock the baby back to sleep. You scoff once again and try to take the baby away from him but he quickly turns to his side and squints his eye at you. “I can make her fall asleep faster, Ma- wait. How did you know my name?” you whisper-yelled and he says he saw your high school diploma downstairs. “With the way you’re talking, you’re not helping her fall asleep faster,” he comments but you weren’t going to give up. You step forward but he steps back, still cradling baby Jiji. “Quit it, Y/N,” but you ignore his statement. “Stop it! Why are you insisting on stealing her?” his tone of voice made you flinch a bit.

Jiji cries and you both stare each other down as he still hums to her, mumbling a quick apology to the baby. “I can take care of her too, Mark. I’m just as good as you are!” you whisper-yelled again and then he looks at you with a mischevious glint in his eye. He steps forward and you back-away, only stopping once your back has hit the edge of the crib. “Oh so this is what this is? You trying to prove you’re a better sitter than me? To what? Boost your ego? Prove your parents wrong?” he says lowly. You turn your head to the side and look straight at the window, just to avoid the way he’s looking at you right now. “It won’t end well for you, sweetheart. I’m a pro at what I’m doing,” he says again and when you don’t reply he just smirks to himself as he sets Jiji down when she’s fast asleep. He opens your door but stops to say something before going out,

“Good luck Y/N. May the best sitter win,” and you look at him. He smiles and winks at you and then turns to leave.

---

[11:20 pm] to: yuck-hei

I am going to kick his ass tomorrow

[read 11:20 pm]

[11:21 pm] from: yuck-hei

Who's ass??

[read 11:21 pm]

[11:21 pm] to: yuck-hei

Mark lee!!! The sitter my parents hired

[read 11:21 pm]

[11:21 pm] from: yuck-hei

Mark lee? From babyhelpers.com? I know him, he took care of my sister while me and my parents were away.

[read 11:22 pm]

[11:22 pm] from: yuck-hei

He’s really good and nice y/n sooo y ru planning on kicking his ass?

[read 11:22 pm]

[11:24 pm] to: yuck-hei

Not helping lucas!!!! 🙁( my parents think he’s more capable of tending to jiji way more than I can :--(

[read 11:24 pm]

[11:24 pm] from: yuck-hei

Not to be a total ass but,,, you’re not really keen on babies? Remember when you had to take care of my sister while I was out to buy food for us?

You cringe as the scene plays out in your mind. Lucas was going to buy you guys ice cream and pizza and you had volunteered to take care of his sister. At first it was fun just playing toys with her but she had started to cry and you assumed she was hungry so you bought out the baby food Lucas had stored in their cupboard. She stopped crying once you fed her but then she started crying again and as you were trying to feed her more food, she vomited all over your (Lucas') shirt and your face. A white and creamy substance drips down to your neck and chin. On top of all of that, her diaper was full and she had pooped and some of it had stained the couch you two were sitting on.

Lucas was not amused.

---

TUESDAY

Cooking breakfast was supposed to be the first step to your plan but of course, Mark had beat you to it. He had bought you guys fast food and was currently eating his chicken when he spotted you standing in the stairway. He greeted you a good morning while raising his chicken at you. You walked towards your cupboard looking for something to eat when Mark said, “I bought you food too, Y/N,” but you refuse and insist on cooking your own food.

“I bet this chicken is better than what you’ll cook,” he said with a teasing tone. “Watch me,” you challenge and pull out carton after carton of your meal. The whole time you were cooking, Mark hadn’t tear his gaze away from you, only moving when he thinks he hears Jiji make a sound upstairs. He’d make comments here and there to infuriate you and soon enough, it did.

“God can you shut up? I’m trying to cook here,” you snap at him and he just laughs. “Maybe you should find a way to make me shut up,” he tests you and you felt your heart quicken at his statement. You were just taken aback right? As you were about to come with a witty remark, Mark had rushed upstairs when he heard a thud. Of course you wanted to see what happened upstairs but your bigger concern was not burning your house down.

You’ve finished cooking and Mark has ascended from upstairs, carrying baby Jiji while she sucks her thumb. “She put pillows on top of each other to get out of the crib,” he says then sets Jiji down on the chair beside him. “Then, she landed on your bed. She attempted to crawl down I guess? Found her on the floor,” he proceeds to feed the baby small pieces of cut out chicken.

“Wait, she fell from my bed? Oh God, what if she hit her head or something? What if something happen-” “She’s fine. I’ve checked for for any sign of injury and there was none. We jury and there was none. We could go to the hospital first thing tomorrow,” Mark reassures you and you nod. You three eat in silence, watching the raindrops race on the window.

---

Your baby sister was sat on Mark’s lap, they were both coloring different Disney princesses. They looked cute together, Mark was cute, however you can’t afford to get distracted. Suddenly, an idea popped into your head. Grinning, you take Jiji and Mark looks at you dumbfounded, ready to scold you but, you shush him and tell him you thought of something nice.

You rummaged your closet to find the princess costume you wore a few years back in Halloween. It was a Rapunzel (from Tangled) dress and you had the complete set. Violet dress, blonde wig, golden tiara and purple shoes. It wouldn’t fit Jiji, considering you were 12 years-old when you wore this so you cut the length and adjusted the sleeves. You helped Jiji change and put the tiara on her. She looked like a princess and you both giggled. You got out a purple dress and slipped it into your body and made Jiji choose your jewelry. You drew a makeshift crown and used clips to put it on your hair. After finishing, you carried your cousin downstairs and found Mark furiously coloring Princess Aurora’s dress.

“Mark,” he turns around and his eyes go wide at the sight of you in a dress. “You know if you wanted to dress up for me, you could’ve done so without having to drag Jiji along,” he comments as he walks toward you to take Jiji. “You look so cute princess,” he says and lifts Jiji up into the air. You were about to thank him for the compliment but realize it was meant for the baby he was holding

“You’re going to dress up too,” you say and his eyes bulge out and you and Jiji laugh out loud in sync. “Surely you’ve watched Tangled?” you ask and he hums in approval. “Good. You’re playing Mother Gothel,” you say and throw him the red dress you have. “I’m not wearing a dress Y/N!” he exclaims and Jiji laughs louder. “But Jiji would want to see Markie in a dress. Isn’t that right Jiji?” you turn to look at your cousin and she nods her head, obviously amused at the sight of two adults playing dress up. “You’re lucky you two are cute,” is all Mark says before he puts the baby down and treads to the bathroom to change.

The lights were dim and the golden light of the sun shun through the white flower-patterned curtains. You set Jiji down on the couch with her stuff toys and pillows around her. The scene where Mother Gothel and Rapunzel sing plays in the background and you and Mark take your positions and act out.

“Mother’s here to help you

All I have is one request

Rapunzel?” Mark sings, also incredibly well at that

“Yes?” you ask totally in character

“Don’t ever ask to leave this tower again,” he looks into your eyes and holds your waist

“Yes mother,” you reply not tearing your gaze from his

“I love you very much dear,” Mark says again that caused butterflies in your stomach

“I love you more,” you smile

“I love you most,” he releases his grip from your waist

“Don’t forget it

You’ll regret it

Mother knows best,” he sings with a dramatic roll of his head.

Jiji laughs and claps her hand. You’ve never seen your cousin so happy and so you giggle and Mark joins in. The three of you collapse into a fit of laughter ‘til you notice you and Mark were close to each other again. You’ve both stopped laughing and so did the other two. You inhale as he moves his face closer to yours, his lips a mere inch away from your own

“Oona,” Jiji mumbles and you both turn to look at her. Jiji points at the man standing at the door, also known as Wong Yukhei. You pull out of Mark and clear your throat. Lucas stands frozen on the doorway, completely forgetting that he was in the process of untying his shoes. He stares at you then back at Mark then at Jiji and then back at you. You clap your hands and this seems to remove everyone’s trance. Jiji goes back to watch the movie on the television and Mark removes the violet eyeshadow and blue lipstick Jiji (and you) had put on his face. You breeze walk towards your giant friend and pull him towards the dining room.

“If I interrupted something, I could leave,” he suggests and you take note of the stupid smile on his face, you knew he was never going to let this go. “Shut up, it’s part of my plan,” you pinch his side and he laughs out loud, you know the kind that’s so deep yet it booms the entire house? Yeah, that laugh. “Part of my plan my ass,” Yukhei shakes his head. You mumble something about keeping him distracted to prevent him from doing his work but you both know it’s complete bull.

“Why are you here anyways? You could’ve texted or called me you know,” you tell him as you wash the lipstick off of your face.“I’ve texted you ten times, called you twenty times. Thought you were dead or something worse so I thought I’d come to the rescue. If you weren’t so… distracted, You would’ve heard your phone go off,” he adds and sprinkle water from the faucet at him to act like his words offended you.

“Okay fine. I was distracted but- wait, did you just say something worse than death? What could possibly be more heartbreaking than death?” you ask, completely forgetting to ask why he was here seeing as he didn’t answer it the first time.

“Getting kidnapped,” he says it as if it’s such an obvious answer, you wanted to hit his arm. “I mean, when you’re dead it would leave a scar and yeah permanent damage. But when you’re kidnapped and not found and all of that, the uncertainty of it just leaves you hollow and lost too, you know? So yeah, I think not knowing where a person is, possibly knowing she’s in danger and you can’t do anything to save them, is scarier and much worse than death,” you give him a nod and think over his words.

Whenever you’re with Lucas, your talks could completely shift from funny and dumbassery to 2 am deep talks and you love it. “Any who, I came by to hang out but if you prefer to be with-“ you cut him off saying that he should stay, already knowing what’s going to be next in that sentence of his. He chuckles and kisses your head. You didn’t know that Mark was watching the two of you as he fixed the mess you three made. He ignored the feeling of jealousy that’s bothering him.

Lucas had introduced himself to Mark and Mark surprisingly remembered who the tall friend of yours was. The three of you had settled on the couch to watch a movie while Jiji sat between your legs. The blanket wasn’t big enough for the four of you so everyone was sitting close to each other. As much as you wanted to watch a horror movie, the two boys beside you refused and used Jiji as an excuse. You all settled to watch Get Smart, all adults being a fan of Anne Hathaway and Steve Carell.

Lucas mimicked the sounds of guns going off and you and your baby cousin would laugh every time, except when Mark tried to do it too. It instead had made Jiji cry and Mark quickly apologizes and shuts his mouth soon after. Halfway through the film, Jiji had fallen asleep and you and Yukhei cuddled.The blanket was off of you three and instead draped over Jiji’s little legs so Mark could clearly see Yukhei’s hand on your thigh, giving it subtle squeezes every now and then. He observed the way you reacted to Lucas’ touches and you oddly felt at peace. Your eyes dropped and you quietly snored on Yukhei’s chest.

“She’s pretty, huh?” Lucas’ voice surprised Mark so the boy averted his gaze. “When you decide you want her and maybe go for something serious with her, make sure to take care of her, okay? Don’t break her heart, Mark. I mean it,” Lucas says as he stares the smaller boy down. Mark nods and stands up to take Jiji upstairs. Mark placed her on the crib and jogged downstairs to help you clean up.

What he didn’t expect was you to stand in front of Yukhei and kiss him on the cheek. You bid him goodbye and sigh of exhaustion.

“You and Lucas are a thing, huh?” Mark asks you as he turns the television off. “Yeah a platonic thing,” you reply and stretch your limbs, the action causing your shirt to lift up and Mark catch a glimpse of your tummy. He blushes and turns around, acting as if he didn’t see anything. “Good night, Mark,” you tell him and go upstairs.

WEDNESDAY

True enough to his words, as soon as the three of you had eaten and bathed, you went to the hospital. It is a nice day outside, the sun was shining but not bright enough to hurt your eyes. The wind was blowing Jiji and Mark’s hair and there weren’t many cars on the street early in the morning.

The trees that surrounded the hospital made the day prettier. The scenery serene and comforting.

Jiji was playing with the rag doll the pediatrician gave her to distract her while the doctor checks for any damage.The doctor then explains that it was good that you took your cousin to the doctor to be sure but advised that next time, it’d be better and easier to assess the damage if you bring her earlier. She reassures that Jiji will be fine and that you three could be on your way.

You’re in a toy shop and decide to spoil your baby cousin, it isn’t everyday you get to go out with her anyways. Mark was by the toy gun section as you pick up the barbie dolls your cousin had chosen.

You approach the black-haired boy but screamed when he pointed a gun at you and tells you to freeze. Without even thinking of your actions, you hands immediately shot up in mock surrender, causing the dolls to fall on the tiled floor. Mark laughs and apologizes while you huff and stomp away from him, Jiji on tow.

“That’s all you’re going to buy? I could definitely buy Jiji more,” Mark comments as he hands you back the dolls you’ve dropped. “You know what, I’m going to look for a toy that I think Jiji wants and come back here to let her choose. Loser buys us lunch,” Mark confidently says. You chuckle and allow him to do so. Five minutes later and he comes back with a Rapunzel doll in his hand. Jiji’s eyes sparkles almost immediately when she sees the toy she’s holding. Mark crouches down and whispers into Jiji’s ears.

“Y/N-ie dressed up like this doll remember? This doll and your noona look the same right? Very pretty, yeah?” and Jiji nods her head enthusiastically and grabs the doll from Mark. “What did you say to her? That’s cheating Lee!” you yelled at the guy but he just laughs at you. “I won fair and square sweetheart. Now where to to lunch?” he grins and you grimace.

The whole day you and Mark competed for Jiji’s attention. Mark was winning by three points and boy, did he gloat. Mark had carried the shopping bags and you carried Jiji. It was still a sunny day so you decided to head to the amusement park. Mark left the shopping bags near the counter and bought tickets for the three of you.

You watched as Mark shot target after target, too immersed in the game just so he could get that big ass teddy bear. You and Jiji watched the way the veins in his arm popped out whenever he pulled the trigger. Well obviously, your baby cousin wouldn’t focus on that detail exactly, she was just happily eating ice cream while watching the targets go down one by one.

You’ve all tried different rides (ones that allow you to bring your cousin with you) and was about to go home before Mark argued with you that winning a teddy bear before going home is an absolute must. How could you say no when he looked so cute? You completely forget the competition thing, fully accepting that Mark was indeed a better sitter than you.

“Yes!” Mark exclaimed and he looked downright happy. He’s fist-pumping the air and jumped twice before he had to calm himself down when parents and children looked at him. He takes the giant teddy bear and hands it to you. “Wait this is for me?” you ask, shock and confusion very evident on your face. Mark nods and you thank him.

“We never really started right. Consider this as my peace offering?” his tone seems a little hesitant but you reassure him with a kiss to his cheek. It seemed as if time had stopped and only the three of you were existing. It was a perfect moment until it started raining, hard. When the hell did the clouds turn grey? You two rush to get your shopping bags and run for shelter.

Soon enough the rain had stopped but nothing quickly shielded you from its impact earlier. The three of you were soaking and Jiji was crying. You then decided to take a cab and go home.

You took Jiji to the bathroom to give her a quick bath and then dried her. You had Mark get her her baby formula. “Here y-“ Mark stops in his tracks as he sees you taking off your shirt. Time seems to be fucking with him because every moment seemed slower than the last one. He watched as you unclasped your bra, throwing it to the side.

What he couldn’t take was when you bent down to take your jeans off of you completely. He hid himself behind your door, breath hitched as he felt blood rushed down his cock. It’s so so wrong, but it felt so good. He wanted to touch you, caress you, kiss you and nourish you. “Mark?” you ask and he cleared his throat before handing you the formula. You thank him and smile.

He’s certain he won’t get any sleep tonight.

THURSDAY

It took everything in Mark’s willpower to bend you over your kitchen counter and ram into you. Last night, you wearing a shirt with no bra on and definitely no shorts on. When your little cousin had slept peacefully. You two listened to chill music, talked about your childhood and dreams. Mark discovered you two had a lot in common and focused on your stories instead of the way your lips moved or when your thighs move when you shift into a more comfortable position.

Last night was pure torture for Mark but he secretly loved it, not wanting it to be any other way.

The last straw however, was when he saw you at 7 am in the morning, earphones on (but he could hear the Paramore song you were playing from where he was standing) with nothing but a bra and pajamas on. Sure, it was hot, but didn’t you feel bothered that another man, especially a stranger, was in your house and you’re wearing little clothes? Not to mention how you were practically body rolling at this time of the day?

“Y/N,” Mark said as he moved towards you. “Y/N!” he says more loudly which causes you to jump a bit. Mark’s eyes trailed down your body, stopping momentarily at your breasts. “Like what you see?” you teased and his jaw clenched. “Are you doing this on purpose?” “What ever do you mean?” you smile coyly, voice laced with innocence.

His hands travel your waist and then he licks the shell of your ear, making you visibly shudder. “Changing your clothes knowing I can walk in on you any minute, not wearing anything underneath that shirt last night and now this? You must be desperate for me,” ”P-please,” you stutter suddenly hyperaware of how his dick was so straining against the fabric of his sweatpants. “Please what?” he challenges “Please make me feel good, daddy?” you say.

Mark throws his head back and groans. He picks you up and sets you down on the floor near the couch. Mark spreads his legs apart, cock even more visible, so visible you could see the slightest hints of it throbbing. “Ride my thigh like the good girl you are,” and you follow him immediately. You remove your sweatpants and leave your underwear on, your arousal dripping. You grip his shoulders as you rock back and forth on his thigh. You two were both moaning at the friction, it all felt too good. “Fuck, I’m going to come,” at your statement, Mark slips to fingers inside your panties and began fucking you with his fingers. Soon enough, your orgasm came and you melted into Mark as he praises you. “You did so well baby, fuck,” he comments and carries you upstairs bridal-style.

You whimper as he sets you down on the bed. “Quiet baby, you don’t want to wake Jiji up do you?” and his smirk goes wider as you shake your head profusely.

Mark kisses you for the first time and you swear you could feel sparks ignite both of your bodies. His hand goes to squeeze your left breast as he peppers the right one with kisses. His other hand goes to toy with your clit and it causes your body to spasm. “Fuck Mark,” you moan breathlessly as he pinches your nipple and rubs your clit at the same time. Mark removes his pants and boxers, discarding it somewhere near the door.

Mark pumps himself a few times before he enters you without warning. You both moan at the pleasure of being filled, completely forgetting that your cousin was sleeping in a crib near you. Mark thrusts at a quick pace and grip the sheets. “You’re so tight baby,” he moans. “Y-you’re so tight daddy-ah- harder please,” and Mark complies. Mark felt you clench and so he asks if you’re close but before you could reply you were already coming. Mark thrusts a few more times before he was finishing too. Mark lays down beside you and holds you close.

“Thank you,” you say looking up at him and he kisses your forehead. Just as you were about to sleep, Jiji cries and both you and Mark grunt and then laugh.

FRIDAY

You had Jiji sit on top of your lap while Mark was taking videos of you two. You and Mark had agreed to somewhat date and to take things slow. If anyone walks in on the three of you, you would’ve looked like a happy family. Not that you aren’t, you three looked too cute.

The door unlocks and reveals the shocked face of your mother. “Mom?” you say, tone a bit higher than you intended. Mark goes to help life the suitcases your parents bring and also doesn’t forget to greet them. “How was the trip?” “It’s great honey. What about the three of you?” “I’ve had fun with Mark” “Y/N’s lovely, Miss Y/L/N,” you and Mark say simultaneously. Your mother seems to pick up the (cute) tension between the two of you and smiles. “How was Y/N with Jiji?” Mark smiles and tells her all about the adventures the three of you had gone through. Mark bids you farewell and promises to see you again.

“Bye dear! I hope you don’t mind that Mark helps you out with Jiji?” you shake your head and shout “Not at all! Stay safe!” and Mark enters your home. You jump and he catches you with no trouble, wrapping your arms around his neck you both say, “I missed you,” and you smile as he leans in to kiss you.

Needless to say, you were happy with the service he provided.

#mark lee #mark lee smut #mark lee x reader #nct mark x reader #nct mark smut

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