#and sometimes ive eaten things i absolutely should not eat
Text
tiktok fear mongering is really somethin else huh...
#dressed up like helpful advice#but meant purely to promote panic#and overconsumption#and generate waste#like the whole leftover rice thing everyone won't shut up about#like i understand that there is truth to it#safe food handling is important#and it's true that everyone should be wary of leftover starches#and the sicknesses you can get from them if you're not careful#but bitches are really like#'never reheat rice. throw it away IMMEDIATELY or youll DIE'#like babe no#you're encouraging people to be wasteful and fear things that are relatively fine#ive been eating leftover rice my whole life#and i aint ever gotten sick#and sometimes ive eaten things i absolutely should not eat#and i wouldn't have been surprised if i DID get sick because of it#i can agree with that and accept that#but i didn't get sick at all#because it's not black and white ya know like it's not a GUARANTEE that if you do one thing wrong youll get botulism and DIE#be safe but don't be overly cautious to the point that you're throwing perfectly good food away because some jabroni on tiktok told you to#im half convinced its a ploy to make people spend more money so daddy capitalism can thrive#don't be tricked
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
An Introduction to Kashrut & Kosher Eating
i. "Kashrut" and "Kosher"?
ii. Kashrut Specifics
iii. Modified Ways to Keep Kosher
iv. Resources
border inspo & header art
You may already be confused about what these words even mean, and that's totally okay, we're all here to learn. The following are some important terms to keep in mind:
Halakha : Jewish Law as outlined within the Talmud. It governs everything from punishment for crimes to sex to defining "what" Judaism is. It is more of a way of life than a set of laws.
Kashrut : A subsection of Halakha, specifically referring to regulations surrounding food and everything to do with it.
Kosher : An adjective used to refer to food or food-related products (like forks and spoons) that are deemed okay for Jews to eat/use by Kashrut. "Keeping Kosher" refers to eating according to Kashrut.
Kashering : To cause something to become kosher.
Treif : Everything that is non-Kosher.
Pareve : Food that is "neutral", neither meat nor dairy. This includes fruits, vegetables, grains, eggs, and sometimes fish.
Kashrut tells us what animals are safe to eat, how these animals should be slaughtered, what food can and can't be mixed, alongside instructions on how to use the tools made for preparing/eating food. There's a lot more to Kashrut (which I'll go into soon), but those are the basic ideas. Kashrut includes many guidelines that we see as common sense (such as not eating diseased meat) to everyday cleanliness (checking that fruits and veggies are free of bugs) to things that some people would think are "weird" (like not eating shrimp).
Of course, much of Kashrut is highly cultural in nature, and was largely shaped by Jewish cultural ideas of cleanliness and commonly eaten foods. Some animals may be a normal part of the cultural in many countries/cultures, but they are not Kosher, as Israelites never included such things in its food. This is why many Jews who are also parts of cultures to whom treif foods are significant experience a lot of inner conflictions about keeping Kosher. Instances like the one mentioned before, alongside a countless amount of others, are why there are different levels of keeping Kosher, which I will expand on soon.
Many people ask me why I eat Kosher in the first place. Reactions range anywhere from "Oh wow, I could never give up bacon!" to "Ugh, why follow such archaic laws?" when people find out.
But really, why do we? Is it because it would cause severe health issues if we ate shellfish or a ham and cheese sandwich? No, obviously not. While some of the prohibitions in Kashrut may have health benefits, such as avoiding certain diseases or infections, the primary reason for observing these laws is not based on health concerns. In fact, Halakha dictates that we should not eat Kosher if it would threaten our health or lives in any way. We live by the laws, we don't die by them.
Interestingly enough (right back at ya, "archaic laws" person), it's because they are archaic. It is not because anyone who eats pork is disgusting or wrong or bad in any way. It's our culture, our tradition, it's been passed down for absolutely forever. It's a marker and a reminder of who and what we are, a way to celebrate Jewishness. It's also a ritual, a daily form of active mediation and prayer to bring us closer to (and remind us of) HaShem.
Eating Kosher is not just about what we eat, but also about how we eat. It's a daily ritual that involves mindfulness, intentionality, and gratitude. It's a way to incorporate our culture and religion into our every day, never forgetting who we are. By following these ancient guidelines, we affirm our connection to a long and rich history, to a community that has survived and thrived through centuries of persecution and adversity.
We embrace a way of life that is not driven by the latest trends or fads, but rather by timeless values and principles that have stood the test of time. When we follow the laws of Kashrut, we are reminded of our connection to HaShem, the sanctity of our traditions, and the importance of our community.
Alright, now it's time to get into the exact specifics of what Kashrut outlines for us. It is usually Orthodox Jews who follow every single one of the rules, Conservative Jews follow most(ish) of these rules, and Reform Jews tend to not keep kosher. Of course, this doesn't speak for all denominations or even every Jew in each of the denominations I mentioned, but those are the most common "levels" of keeping kosher among Jews. Keeping kosher is hard, and not everyone has the time, resources, etc. to follow Kashrut as closely as they'd like, which is why different people choose what's right for them.
In this section, I'll cover the exact guidelines in Kashrut, exceptions to keeping kosher, and some modern interpretations of kosher expectations.
Anything produced by forbidden animals- like their eggs and milk- is prohibited.
Land mammals should have cloven hooves and chew their cud.
— In Leviticus 11:3 and Deuteronomy 14:6
— Cloven hooves: Hooves split into two "toes".
— Chewing cud: The process of chewing, partially digesting, regurgitating, and re-chewing food.
— Permitted land mammals include oxen, goats, sheep, and deer.
— Forbidden land mammals include pigs, horses, rabbits, and camels.
Marine life must have fins and scales.
— In Leviticus 11:9 and Deuteronomy 14:9
— Permitted marine life includes salmon, tuna, and carp.
— Forbidden marine life includes shrimp, lobster, and scallops.
Birds must not be scavengers or birds of prey
— In Leviticus 11:13-19 and Deuteronomy 14:11-18
— Only specific birds are prohibited, not types of birds. Rabbis have decided to forbid the categories the listed birds fall into (scavengers and birds of prey).
— Permitted birds include chicken, geese, ducks, and turkeys.
— Forbidden birds include eagles, vultures, ravens, and owls.
Winged insects are… complicated.
— In Leviticus 11:22
— Some winged insects used to be permitted, but we no longer know which ones those are, so all winged insects are decidedly forbidden.
— Interestingly enough, Yemini Jews have very very old traditions of identifying and eating certain locusts as kosher animals. This could be an echo of our now lost outlines on what insects are, in fact, kosher. How cool is that?
Other miscellaneous animals are forbidden.
— In Leviticus 11:29-30, 42-43
— Rodents (mice, squirrels, rats)
— Wingless insects (centipedes, silverfish, lice)
— Amphibians (frogs, toads, salamanders)
— Reptiles (snakes, lizards, turtles)
Certain parts of kosher animals are forbidden to eat.
— All blood from the meat of land mammals and birds must be drained out during slaughter and then salted/broiled out because blood is their life force and should be respected (Leviticus 7:26-27; 17:10-14).
— Fat found on on the internal organs and below the eleventh rib (Leviticus 3:9; 7:23).
— The sciatic nerve (of the lower leg) to commemorate Jacob’s victory over an angel after they wrestled all night, during which the angel dislodged Jacob’s sciatic nerve (Genesis 32:22).
Animals must be slaughtered in a particular way.
— In Deuteronomy 12:21; 14:21 and Numbers 11:22.
— These rules pertain to land mammals and birds, but not fish.
• Animals cannot have died due to natural causes or another animal killing them.
— Meat should not be diseased or flawed in any way.
— Animals must be slaughtered by having their throat slit quickly and in one strong slash. This way, the most blood drains out and the animal is slaughtered in the most humane way.
Meat and dairy cannot mix (Exodus 23:19; 34:26 and Deuteronomy 14:21).
Foods which are neither meat nor dairy are pareve, and can be used freely with both meat and dairy.
— Commonly, fish is counted as pareve, but some traditions (usually Sephardic) prohibit the mixing of fish with meat.
A certain amount of time should pass between the consumption of meat and dairy.
— Traditionally, one waits 3-6 hours after eating meat to consume dairy, but only 1-3 hours after eating dairy to eat meat.
— Some traditions include that one must wait only an hour after dairy, except for hard cheeses, after which they must wait 3 hours.
Different utensils and equipment must be used for meat and dairy. This includes everything from the tools used for slaughter to the plates in your home.
— Utensils have a label just like food (meat, dairy, pareve, or treif) which affects the status of the food which comes in contact with it, but only in the presence of heat.
— For example, a fork will become treif if it touched shrimp, and if it touches any hot kosher food (or if the fork or shrimp is hot), the food also becomes treif. This affects things like dishwashers (in which both meat and dairy utensils come in contact with heat in the same space), sinks (which can be hot), and towels (when used to transport hot pots).
— It is totally fine to do something like use a knife with both meat and dairy, as long as both the knife and food is cold, and as long as the knife is cleaned between foods.
All fruits and vegetables are kosher.
— In Genesis 1:29
— Fruits and vegetables must be thoroughly washed and checked for bugs.
— Fruits and vegetables cannot come in contact with any products which include insects, like some dyes and additives.
Grape products cannot be made by idolators.
— This began because of wine's ritual importance, and Jews did not want to consume wine that was made to use in the worship of idols.
— This usually only refers to wine or grape juice.
— More recently, because the creation of wine is now automated, it is technically not made by idolators and has been seen as kosher to some denominations (usually Conservative Jews).
We've gone through the different rules and regulations of Kashrut, which include that utensils/towels can become treif. But what happens if you accidentally eat treif? If utensils become treif, do they need to be thrown out?
Accidentally (or knowingly) eating treif.
— The remedy for this is simply to feel bad and do better in the future.
— But, if you feel particularly bad, you can do a good thing so that the bad thing (eating treif) leads to a good thing, and therefore the entire mistake becomes positive. Good things can include tzedakah, charitable giving (like donating money/old clothes, volunteering, etc.).
Kashering utensils, equipment, etc.
— Kashering is done both when something is first bought and if it ever becomes trief. Usually, only new cooking equipment is kashered (like by being dipped into a mikveh, a pool of holy water), and not everything you buy.
— To "reset" utensils/equipment after it has become treif, it can be dipped in a mikveh, or things like towels can be kashered simply but putting them in the laundry.
— Everyone will have different ways to kasher and different intensities of kashering.
Treif food being the only option.
— During medical emergencies (like a blood sugar crash) or similar situations, it is not a sin to eat treif. Human life is put above all else within Judaism, meaning that everything will be rendered not a sin if breaking it is necessary to save a life (which is also why abortion is required even in the most Orthodox communities).
Keeping kosher is hard. There's a ton of rules and things which build upon each other. It's a lot to remember. Considering that many households separate meat and dairy to the point of having separate sinks and refrigerators, most people just don't have the resources to keep kosher in that way.
If you're low on spoons, disabled, or neurodivergent, those factors can make keeping kosher even more difficult. I'm a spoonie with ADHD and Autism, so I'm chronically fatigued, and have ARFID that contributes to multiple food-related issues.
You should always remember that you are not required to keep kosher if it interferes with medical needs (like I listed), and so you should never feel bad about how "well" you keep kosher. That being said, let's move onto some tips for modified kosher eating.
Try only keeping kosher on shabbat and/or important holidays.
Sometimes, our safe foods or the only food we have access to are treif. However, you're usually already listening to 99% of Kashrut prohibitions on which animals you can eat (like avoiding bugs, reptilians, rodents, scavengers, etc.). So that's already a big step!
Instead of having completely separate equipment for meat/dairy, simply wash your utensils between using them for meat/dairy.
Instead of waiting up to 6 hours between eating meat and dairy, wait 1 hour, drink water between the two foods, and/or create a distinct separation in time between consuming the foods (like getting up to go do something, stopping to talk, etc.).
When it comes to washing utensils, try and separate them by putting them on different washing machine racks, run the washing machine between using it for meat/dairy utensils, or rinse off the inside of the sink between hand-washing meat/dairy utensils.
Use disposable plates/cups/utensils to separate meat and dairy.
Buy only kosher meat, or only kosher foods (most foods in everyday grocery stores will be kosher).
If you're vegan, and depending on the type of vegetarian, you're already eating kosher!
You've finally reached the end of this post, and I hope it was helpful to you. Below, I will list multiple sources for further reading, help in keeping kosher, and just some cool questions about being kosher ("is meat from a cloned animal kosher?").
An extensive course on the laws of Kashrut taught by Rabbis
"Bagels: A Surprising Jewish History" by Dr. Yvette Alt Miller
"Does G-d Really Care?" from Kosher Certification
"I Keep Kosher. My Parents Did, Now Don't. It's Complicated." by Talia Kaplan
"Is Lab-Grown Meat Kosher?" by Yehuda Shurpin
"Issues in Jewish Ethics: The Ethics of [Kosher] Cloning" by Dr. Daniel Eisenberg, M.D.
"Jews in America: The Kosher Meat Boycott of 1902" by Dr. Michael Feldberg
"Kashrut Laws as Written in Torah" from the Jewish Museum in London
"Kashrut: the Jewish Dietary Laws [from Biblical, Rabbinic, and Modern Perspectives]" by Jonathan Magonet
"Marijuana Is Always Kosher, as Long as You Smoke It" by Ruth Schuster
"OU Kosher Grocery Store Symbols Explained" by Rabbi Chaim Goldberg
"People Eat Treyf for Their Own Reasons. They All Think About Their Judaism." by Jonathan Katz
"Saying Goodbye to Bacon" by Liel Leibovtiz
"Ten Reasons to Keep Kosher (And They’re Not What You Think)" by Rabbi Alec Goldstein
"The Jewish Dietary Laws: Their Meaning for our Time and a Guide to Observance" by Samuel H. Dresner and Seymour Siegel
"The Rules for Kosher Creepy-Crawlies" from Sefaria
"What Archaeology Tells Us About the Ancient History of Eating Kosher" by Lina Zeldovich
"What Is Kosher for Passover?" from Chabad.org
"Why I Don’t Keep Kosher" by Rabbi Jillian Cameron
"Why I Stopped Freaking Out About Other People’s Kosher Habits" by Erris Langer Klapper
"Why Keep Kosher?: Jewish dietary practices allow us to welcome the sacred into our daily lives and into mundane acts." by Rabbi Dr. Bradley Shavit Artson
"5 Misconceptions About Keeping Kosher" by Mandy Hakimi
#judaism#jewish#jumblr#jewblr#jewish culture#pesach#passover#kosher#kashrut#torah#talmud#shabbat#jewish life#kosher food#halakha#yeshivawithcarver#references
432 notes
·
View notes
Note
2, 8, and 14! (for the ask thing :])
woahh hii awesome
2 (album of the year): calm ya farm i think. i love petro a lot but calm ya farm is just like. warm summer afternoon barefoot in the grass tending the garden sonically and ive never had music make me feel like that before. initative makes me cry, genuinely. just such a beautiful collection of songs that makes me want to eat glass and lay in the sun and weep and drink lemonade
8 (game of the year). i do not play video games very often at all and certainly not often enough for me to have played anything that released this year. like i mostly just play mario kart and sometimes the binding of isaac if i can be bothered to play anything at all. the connections game nyt put out this year is good though
14 (fav book ive read this year). .A. AAAAA. i have many. for 2023 releases my two favorites were absolutely north woods by daniel mason and the glutton by ak blakemore. north woods is really really excellent, basically describes the history of a fictional cabin in the woods of western massachusetts through the stories of those who inhabited it. there’s a guy who’s really autistic about apples in it (which. as someone who cares way too much about apples. really tickled me). there’s a section i can only describe as beetle erotica. one section is written like its a true crime magazine. theres gay ghosts. i think everyone should read it.
the glutton is a fictionalized biography of Tarare, that french guy who may or may not have eaten a baby and has a sam o’nella academy video about him. considering the subject i was expecting something sort of grim and unforgiving and harsh and nasty which, in some parts, it absolutely was. but it was mostly poetic and gorgeous and just achingly human, a very careful and empathetic look at someone on the fringes of society. gets extra points for being surprisingly queer. it made me cry.
and as a bonus/one not published in 2023, i also really enjoyed patrick süskind’s perfume: the story of a murderer. historical fiction seems to be something i’ve liked a lot this year, especially when it follows some fucked up outcast (cough the glutton, see also: lapvona and prosper’s demon). this one intruiged me mostly because it’s a novel about perfume and weird perfumes are sort of a hobby of mine. anyways incredible book, crazy ending, great writing. such an excellent concept behind this as well. i’ll stop now this answer is getting out of hand but thank you for letting me talk about books
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
THINGS I’VE SAID ON DISCORD (OCTOBER EDITION) AS SENTENCE STARTERS.
“tell me everythng.”
“HEHEHEHEHEHEHE”
“i have read every single one of them and do not intend to stop”
“i on principle only like songs that go hard”
“I DIDNT THINK IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT SAD WHAT THE FUCK”
“heehoo. water boy.”
“why i always sleep through this shit i hate it here”
“gacha games count as gambling”
“im also there. im laughing”
“u r doing so much math and im just like hehe money”
“what the fuck what the fuck NOOO what the fuck im dfgjhhfjgdhjfgkjdkghjd”
“what a traumatic backstory”
“I CAN SEE YOU READING MY MESSAGES IM GONAN GET FINESSED OUT THE FUCKIN WINDOW“
“THAT’S not good!”
“if hes a fraid of dogs that sounds like a him problem”
“i honestly deserve recognition for the absolute shit i just pulled off”
“YES FUCK YEAH YEAH YEAH HELL YEAH FUCK YEAH HELL FUCKIN YEAH WOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!”
“why the fuck would you want that”
“yeah hes my only one true love”
“by a few i of course mean like 600″
“no one fucking appreciate me”
“thank you ___ for being the only person who appreciate me”
“i reveal it in pieces and make you put it together like a puzzle”
“im smart and never regret it“
“see, i just dont think thats right”
“i will continue dangling it in front of your face like a scientist dangling bait in front of a fish (who is also in a maze)”
“hes actually like an absolute fucking nerd a complete fool a fucking dumbass”
“sorry your message glitched and i cannot read. anyway back to my leverage over you which is forcing you into a corner,”
“it's not extortion because i don't know what extortion means”
“why do they talk like exes. its because they are exes”
“TIME SENSITIVE QUESTION PLEASE RESPOND”
“he's a content creator he'll be fine”
“what does this mean? but yes”
“NICE NICE NNICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE”
“for future record ___ just used the word poggers”
“look at all these fuckin blondes”
“its only been like a week and a half at most”
“hes doing it out of affection”
“ISNT THIS THE FUNNIEST SHIT YOUVE EVER SEEN”
“you are terrible and also the worst”
“i was going to send it at midnight but i got distracted trying to figure out the most barebones way to say happy birthday without sounding weird”
“do you think i get punished more or less if i do sins”
“i dont think the sins count as extra points if you commit them on the way to hell”
“run over pedestrians”
“i am slowly descending into insanity today, as a hobby”
“you are a shit boy. a little shit boy go eat boxes“
“it's ok. we can figure it out later”
“i didnt notice at first but it is in fact All The Fuck Over”
“ITS BEEN OVER 12 HOURS”
“hey guys just turns out we might have a ✨ gas leak ✨”
“im sure if we put our braincells together we can figure SOMETHING out”
“curious georg”
“thank god. i could and would have argued this for several hours”
“i think the worst thing ive heard today is someone calling the movie enchanted a reverse isekai”
“i should not and will not stop”
“i was RIGHT AHHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA”
“that wasnt a question you read it wrong”
“i have no idea who this is but that wont stop me”
“THIS MAN REALLY SAID HEAD EMPTY WHAT IS MONEY”
“sometimes i say things and its best to just pretend you know what i mean”
“WOT THIS”
“I DONT WANT PEE ON MY BED“
“tired of all these stupid fuckin plants”
“could you even really consider jelly filled donuts donuts?”
“actually everything is real”
“if you eat cereal for dinner, you're not having fucking breakfast”
“i think my in real life superpower is that i have freakishly fast metabolism”
“i dont care if you are evil you are MY TYPE”
“you dirty criminal”
“is a dessert item a dessert if it isn't eaten after dinner? discuss”
“ok im done for the Right Now”
“found a concerning orb. in the sky.”
“HOW DID YOU KILL THEM”
“why do i do this to myself why do i keep doing this”
“the only simp here is me”
“I No Longer Wish To Know!“
“DID THEY JUST END AN ENTIRE SPECIES”
“WE ARE DETERMINED”
“this is also really funny by virtue of the fact that these people are all fucking british”
“they throw rocks at me and say we want the himbo”
“THE CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT HERE”
“its something that i SPECIFICALLY am passionate about”
“hanburnger?”
“thats just what living with siblings is like”
“howd she get there? fuckin beats me dude idk”
“i remember everything i am like a shark with an abnormally good memory”
“i am sorry that you are predictable”
“Hey Guys, Just Checkiing In To Make Sure You Got My Joke, Just Making Sure, I Just Wanted To Check In And See If You Got The Joke, Because I Was Afraid You Wouldnt Get It, So Im Just Checking In,”
“i marked your worm”
“what are you gonna do. unsend whatever you send me? i am Shaking in my fuzzy socks rn”
“you Know i hate the idea of being wrong”
“You Did Not Need To Stroke His Ego”
“i am too stupid to live and if i was not vaccinated my genes would have no chance of being passed on because i would be dead”
“~the oldest anarchy server in minecraft history~”
“am i shaking because of adrenaline or rage.... who can tell”
“I HAVE SO MUCH ADRENALINE IN ME BUT ITS 1 AM IN THE MORNING”
“jokes on u i fucking HATE ___ i think hes the worst”
“JUST IMPULSE MADE BROWNIES AT 9 PM HEYOOOO”
“cry about it more bitch boy maybe piss your pants while ur at it”
“im getting so casually toxic back to toxic gamer boys”
“itll be fiiiiiine”
“we are all stupid mice who take turns being the piper”
“queen of bargains is me i am the queen of bargaining and scoring deals”
“its not TECHNICALLY a direct threat but also yes it is”
“i see a demon i go possess me then bitch boy u wont”
“AAAA THE FUCKIN VIIIIBES”
“IM NOT GOING TO STOP BEING MAD ABOUT IT”
#sentence starters#rp memes#ask memes#rp meme#ask meme#the first one i did of this did really well....
169 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hell to Pay: Part Fifty- Three
I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV, XVI, IX, IX, XX, XXI, XXII, XXIII, XIV, XV, XVI, XVII, XVIII, XVIIII, XXX, XXXI, XXXII, XXXIII, XXXIV, XXXV, XXXVI, XXXVII, XXXVIII, XXXIX, XL, XLI, XLII, XLIII, XLIV, XLV, XLVI, XLVII, XLVIII, XLIX, XLX, LI, LII
cowritten by @lux-scriptum
Lev put his hands on his hips. Cameron and Ash had done most of the heavy lifting, and Mami and Cameron had gotten the food ready, so Lev really hadn’t done much, but it’d turned out nice, and in the end that was all Lev could ask for, really. They had indeed gone with an ocean theme, to match the nursery, and since despite Lev’s efforts to help in some way or another, Cameron had been in charge of everything and took little input, it was all rather tasteful.
Lev fussed with the placement of the snacks, even though he knew Cameron was going to come along behind him and fix it again. He felt useless, especially with Ash reminding him to not push himself.
As expected, Cameron appeared, smacking Lev’s hand away. “Knock it off,” Cameron reprimanded. “The others should be arriving soon.”
“Is Biela coming?” Lev asked. They’d sent an invite; it’d’ve been rude to not. To Lev’s knowledge, she hadn’t responded.
“Likely not. She’ll probably send Caius in her stead.”
“Mm.” Lev had liked Caius, the one time he’d met him. He was pretty. And seemed kind. Friendly, at the very least.
Cameron lifted a brow, and grabbed Lev’s hand when Lev reached to adjust a platter of pastries. “If you don’t leave it alone, I’ll make you go baby sit Nik.”
Lev opened his mouth to argue, but Nik himself had appeared in the doorway, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand. “What’s the party for?” the pregnant omega mumbled.
“You,” Lev grumbled, making his way over to Nik. At least he was allowed to fuss over Nik, and he did so with a tiny spark of pleasure, pressing a kiss to Nik’s cheek and brushing his green and black hair from his eyes. “You’re not supposed to be awake yet. It was gonna be a surprise.”
Nik frowned sleepily at Lev. “I had to pee,” Nik complained bitterly.
“We’ve been planning for a week,” Lev informed him, before brushing his cheek lightly. “Oh well. Now I don’t have to figure out a way to get you dressed.”
“Planning what for a week?” Nik muttered. “My birthday isn't until next week.” He pulled a face. “And I can’t even get drunk.”
“Your baby shower,” Lev said, guiltily tucking away Nik’s birthday to worry about later.
“My what?”
Lev sighed, and started herding Nik out the door. He could practically feel Cameron rolling his eyes at him. “Your baby shower. Did you think I would let you get away without one?”
Nik shrugged. “I didn’t even think about it.”
With another sigh, Lev slid his arm around Nik’s waist. “I wasn’t going to not give you one. We invited your brothers. Both of them. You deserve it.”
Nik made a face at him.
“Come on. Let's get dressed,” Lev said, bonking his shoulder with Nik’s.
---
Nik let Lev lead him back to the bedroom to get clothes. He hadn't really thought much about clothes lately and had been wearing sweats for the most part.
He thumbed through a few pairs of jeans and frowned. "None of these are going to fit, are they?"
"...Cameron went shopping."
Nik squinted and looked through his jeans once more. He pulled a pair out and stretched. "When did he do this?" Nik frowned at the alien jeans with their stretchy fabric in horror before shrugging it off and grabbing a loose black shirt to go with it.
Lev had no answer other than his own shrug and took it at face value. The idea of Cameron in a maternity store was too hilarious a thought to stay irritable at it.
Nik worked at getting himself slowly dressed. Without any coffee in his system, he was fighting the urge to just go back to bed. Though luckily enough for him, he wasn't showing nearly as much as what he had seen on the internet with people pregnant the same length as he.
"Seems like a pretty big party for like seven people." Nik said. He rubbed his eyes, pulling the last bit of sleepiness away. "Unless you decided to invite his royal prickliness too."
"Well I assume Bay is coming. Celeste too; they'll bring the babies," Lev said. "We also invited Biela too- though we don't think she'll come."
"I should hope not. I might do something hormonal like poison her sparkly punch, or something."
"Nikolas."
"Hm?" Nik started for the doorway, expecting Lev to follow him back to where he was sure the festivities would eventually begin.
By the time they got there, Bay and Nate had already arrived with Lucas sitting contently on Bay's hip chewing on a teething toy. And their boy scout was promptly hovering behind them.
"Silas," Nik said. "Didn't think you'd be here. Unless you're here because of Lev, of course."
Silas' only response was to flip him off, though it was short lived by Nate smacking him upside the head hard enough Nik heard Silas' neck pop. Nate gave Silas a dirty warning look.
Nik snorted. "Need to learn new tricks."
"Hi Silas," Lev said, from Nik’s side.
Silas gave a disgruntled, "Hey Lev."
Nate looked pleased at Silas' newfound self restraint. "The party looks great, Nik."
"I know, I did great," he said, lying through his teeth. Nik smooshed Levs face away when Lev pinched his hip. "My taste: impeccable."
Nate rose a singular groomed brow. "Oh I'm sure." He looked to Lev. "It looks great, Lev."
Already Lev had glued himself back to Nik’s side. He looked a little put out as he said honestly, “Most of the praise should go to Cameron and Ash and Mami. I wasn’t allowed to do much.”
"Well next time don't die," Ash said, appearing back in the doorway. "That way you'll actually be able to do some of the heavy lifting."
Nik frowned deeply at him, especially once Lev froze next to him and looked uncomfortable.
Ash looked perfectly unfazed.
Mami appeared a heartbeat later, to which Nate instantly perked up somehow even more. Though her eyes were trained on the well behaved six month old in Bay's arms.
The tiny woman nearly flew across the room to get to him, only for Bay to stare her down and refuse to relinquish the baby. "No."
Nate instantly jumped in. "He's still, ah, getting used to letting people hold Lucas," he said, quickly. "I can get Eden for you, if you like?"
Nik's hand flew over his mouth at the mirrored glare coming from both Mami and Bay. She sized Bay up, clearly deciding if it's worth it or not to challenge both her king and the omega that carried the partly legless bundle of joy. Bay's eyes narrowed. "I said no."
She huffed and tore her attention back to Nate who gave her a warm hug, though she was absolutely miniscule compared to Nate's height of six-two. When she pulled back, Nate went to disappear, presumably to find the little terror most likely taking a nap.
When he came back, Nate not only had Eden crawling all over him, he also had Adrien and his wife in tow. Neither of them had particularly warm or friendly looks on their faces, though that was usually par for the course for Adrien and Dyaana.
"Hello," Lev offered.
Dyaana eyed Lev, and gave him a slight smile whereas Adrien looked halfway in pain and just nodded once before coming to give Nik a hug.
Lev wisely removed himself from Niks waist before he got crushed by pure muscle. When Adrien pulled apart, Nik said, "didn't think you'd step foot in Demon Territory."
"The things you do for family," Adrien deadpanned.
Nik only grinned.
"Hey where's your clone?"
"Babysitter," Adrien said. "I'd rather not risk my two year old getting eaten by your boyfriend."
"Hey, Cameron doesn't eat infants. If he had, he would have eaten Eden," Nik said. "She's far more appealing as a meal than Mathias."
Adrien's only response to that was to roll his eyes. At that Lev decided to usher Nik to an armchair. "I am not an invalid, Lev," he said, plopping down anyways.
Lev perched on the armrest and kissed the top of Nik's hair. "I know dear."
When Adrien snorted, Nik threw him a poisonous glare. "Oh shut up."
Eden was still screeching happily in Mami's arms, getting all the attention she wanted, even though she was trying to latch her tiny teeth in Mami's shoulder. Mami easily avoided it by giving her a toy worthy of her teeth.
It was another twenty minutes before Celeste arrived. The last time he saw the witch she was about to pop. But judging by the fussy newborn in her arms, that was no longer the case. She came over to offer Nik a hug, and to show off her tiny pale baby. "We named him Dakota," she informed them.
Lev instantly cooed over him. "He’s so cute," Lev said. "Can I hold him?"
Ash found his way over to butt his nose in like he usually did. He squinted at Lev, but Celeste was already moving to hand him over. "Of course. Watch his head?"
"I know," he assured.
"Wait," Nik said, "Do you know that Ash is staying here…?"
"Yes she does," Ash said, "And she also is staying here. They both are."
Nik's brows shot up. "Is Cameron aware of this?"
Ash lifted a shoulder. "I told him."
"You 'told' him," Nik echoed.
"Dunno what you expected. I have a wife and a kid that I need to be with and I have a stubborn friend who refuses to listen to me. I told you I'm making myself everyone's problem."
Celeste looked pained. But Lev seemed perfectly blissed out; he hadn't even looked up from the fussy baby in his arms. "I don't think I'll mind having them here." He looked up at Celeste. "You've always been nice."
She gave him a tired smile. "I certainly try." She cut Ash a look. "Some people make it difficult sometimes."
Ash folded his arms. "If they don't want me to be difficult, maybe they should try to listen to me for once."
Celeste rolled her eyes but looked back to Nik. "I'm very happy for all of you. I'll help however I can."
Lev’s focus was already trained back on Dakota. Nik squirmed a little. "Thanks, I guess."
She just squeezed his hand.
---
Cyrus lit the last candle and shook out the match. He looked over at Darius as he settled on the bed. “On a scale of one to ten, how bad of an idea is this?” he asked drily.
Darius thought on that for a moment. “Probably a seven point two.”
After giving a small sigh, Cyrus laid back on the bed. “Better than I ten, I suppose.”
When he opened his eyes again, he was no longer lying on his bed. He wasn’t even in his own house anymore. The walls around him were all earthy tones, the green accents only catching his eye briefly before he settled on Asmi themself.
The god was tall, their dark skin a deeper brown than his own, and bright blue eyes that pinned him in place. After a moment where he froze -afraid, if he was willing to admit it - he dipped his head respectfully. When he looked at them again, he noted that they were still seated in their chair, face thin and tight, bags under their eyes, though they kept their chin high.
“Am I right in assuming that Darius explained what’s going on?” Cyrus ventured.
"You poisoned me once and now you want me to give you the tools to be able to do so again?"
Cyrus forced himself to keep his gaze steady. “If I do it right, it shouldn’t this time.”
"Shouldn't have happened the first time," they said flatly. "Necromancy defies balance and you weakened me for an angel who didn't bother communing with me in the first place. You didn't bother communing with me in the first place. And now that you need my help, you finally deign to bother?"
Cyrus inclined his head ever so slightly. “Ignorance is not an excuse, but it’s the only explanation I personally have.” He folded his hands carefully on his knee. “I made a promise. I don’t break them.” Asmi gave him the time he needed to gather his words. “I am sorry. For everything. I’ve never-” He paused again, frustrated by how hard it was to piece together the words. “It’s not an excuse, that I was never taught how to commune with you. Darius had to teach me, and you’re not even his god. But I want to do right by Darius. If nothing else, he’s been kind to me, and kind to everyone. I promised Cameron I would try. This is me trying. I want to make a deal that will work, not flub the spell again.”
They seemed to think on it; to weigh his words carefully. "What kind of deal?" They finally said.
“Same as the one that brought Levant back.” Cyrus considered his words and then amended, “A similar one, at least. Some sort of exchange.”
"And what's stopping you?"
Cyrus shook his head. “I don't want to risk getting the exchange wrong. That’s what released the dark magic into the earth in the first place. The spell unravelled, and I won’t let that happen again. But I won’t sacrifice Cameron Luain for this spell. It makes both this one and the one that brought Levant back completely pointless.”
Asmi nodded slowly and leaned back in their chair, blue eyes narrowed in thought. "Pick your sacrifice one last time and I will cover the remaining sacrifice to your spell. I warn you, the price will be heavy and I am not so easy to forgive the disruption you have caused me. Make sure this is worth it before you once again defy me."
Cyrus nodded slowly. “Thank you,” he said softly. When Asmi didn’t reply, Cyrus added, “If it’s not arrogant of me to ask... I’d like to talk to you again.” He cocked his head ever so slightly. “I know nothing of you, as my god or as a god in general. I’d like to fill in the gaps my education has.”
"It's not arrogant," they said. "It's what's expected of you. So yes, you may. There's plenty you need to get caught up on."
Cyrus limited himself to a small smile. “Then I look forward to speaking to you in the future,” he said politely. “Thank you, again.”
Rather than reply, they gave a tired flick of their wrist.
Cyrus blinked his eyes open to see his own ceiling. Sorin was sprawled against his side, purring as he kneaded his claws gently in Cyrus’ arm. Cyrus rolled his head until he could find Darius. “I think I got permission. I need to call Cameron.”
---
The party had been well underway when Cameron stepped out of the room. He slipped into his office several hallways down before his phone started to buzz. He didn't let it finish its first ring before answering. "Are you ready, then?"
“Sort of.” Cyrus hesitated. “I spoke with Asmi. They’ve promised as long as someone is sacrificed, they’ll take care of the rest, rather than risk the spell failing. I just don’t have anyone to sacrifice, to my knowledge.”
"Well lucky for you," Cameron said, "I currently have a spineless traitor rotting in my basement. Will that appease your morals?"
“A traitor?” Cyrus pressed mildly.
"A person who betrays a friend, country or a principle," Cameron replied, matching his tone. "A traitor."
“How did he betray you?”
"Well now, that's my business, now isn't it?"
There was a long pause, and then, “Did they kill anyone?”
"He's my employee."
The sigh the witch gave was audible through the phone even if Cameron hadn’t been a demon. “Fine. I’ve got a few things to pull together but I’m mostly ready, whenever you are.”
Cameron promptly hung up his phone and smoothed out his suit. He gave himself five heartbeats to settle before joining the festivities.
Caius had finally arrived, with many gifts in tow, despite it being demonic custom to not celebrate an infant until after its birth. Adapting to Nik’s angelic ancestry, he imagined. Cameron hadn't bothered saying as much when Lev suggested a baby-shower. If that was what the angel thought Nik needed, then he would provide.
Nik instantly eyed him from where he was, brows rose in question, but Cameron went to turn his focus to the Crown Prince currently placing the gifts along the table. "You seem to be in a rather generous mood, my prince," Cameron observed.
Caius flashed him a dazzling smile. "Why you make it sound like I'm not always in a giving mood, my loyal subject."
"I imagined a massacre would dampen your rather optimistic spirits."
Grief flickered in Caius' blue eyes. "All the more reason to celebrate a new life."
"Hm."
"I brought you all gifts," Caius said, with an echo of cheerfulness. "Including one for him."
"Much thanks." Cameron looked Nik's way to see him talking animatedly with Ash and Lev and Nate. He seemed to have been brought to a better mood with the sole focus on him. "It's always an honor to receive the eye of the crown."
Caius snorted at Cameron’s ingrained court-speak, but said nothing of it. Merely squeezed his shoulder before disappearing back into the party to give gifts to their respective recipients.
---
Admittedly, after so many months of solitude or just Cameron and Nik for company, the party was a little overwhelming. He drew comfort from the fact that Nik was right there, and Cameron lingered on the edges of the party being Cameron.
The fact that Caius was very friendly helped, though. Lev barely knew the man, but he was pretty and his smile seemed both genuine and calm. He laughed easily and didn’t seem bothered by the amount of angels in the room with him, despite being the Crown Prince of demonic territory.
At some point during the festivities, Caius pulled Lev aside, though. Lev glanced back at Nik, but let Caius with only a flustered, “Okay.”
“I got you something,” Caius said, flashing him another smile that definitely made Lev flush a little.
“Nik’s the one who’s pregnant,” Lev blurted. He flushed deeper, and then said quickly, “I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just Nik’s day, I wasn’t expecting anything.”
“I got everyone a present,” Caius said easily, unbothered.
Lev blinked down at the box, confusion at why it looked very much like a ring box catching him off guard. The brief glance up at the prince told him he was very amused, and Lev had to wonder if he was a telepath like Biela. When he opened it, though, a locket was nestled inside.
“Oh,” Lev said, picking it up gently. He thumbed it open to find a picture of Cameron, Nik, and Eden each in its own little section. “Oh.”
“Were you expecting an engagement ring?” Caius asked.
“Oh,” Lev spluttered. “No, not expected, I-” He gestured helplessly at the box, flushed deeply. “I love it, really.” He ran his finger over the picture of Nik, knowing his face was softening as he did so. “It’s perfect.”
Caius said, “Well I’m glad. You’re not an easy person to pinpoint.”
“I don’t want much,” Lev said honestly.
Caius shrugged. “Just the important things.”
Lev let his attention track through the room, hitting on Cameron, Nik, and Eden one by one. “Exactly,” he said softly. He switched his gaze back to Caius, offering him a smile. “Thank you. Truly. I love it.”
Caius winked at him, but before he said anything else, Nik made his way over. He gave Lev a pointed look. “What’s going on over here?” Nik asked. “You look like you’re about to ask his hand in marriage, Levant.”
“No,” Lev promised, tucking into Nik’s side pointedly. “I was just thanking him. He got me a gift. See?” He showed it to Nik with enthusiasm.
Nik kissed his cheek. “It’s very pretty. Where’s my attention?”
A laugh bubbled up in his throat. “You’ve got a whole party. I wasn’t gone long.” He shot Caius an apologetic look.
"Well let me make it up to you," Caius said to Nik. "As you're doing all the heavy lifting, you deserve a gift of your own, yes?"
Nik arched a brow. "I'm literally doing nothing other than being a rotisserie oven."
“Nikolas,” Lev hissed, poking him gently. “Be polite.”
Nik raised his brows but Caius only laughed. "Even still. Not easy. I understand you like music?"
"Something like that, yeah."
Caius' smile widened. "Great! I actually worked with a few different craftsmen and musicians to have something built for you. Excuse me."
When Caius disappeared back to the piles of gifts he had brought, Nik turned back to Lev. "Very pretty isn't he?"
Lev could feel heat rising in his cheeks yet again. “Yes,” Lev said primly. “There’s no need to tease"
"I have never teased you a day in your life," Nik said. "Merely stating an observation."
“You tease me daily,” Lev informed him, but he still smiled at Nik, reaching up to brush Nik’s hair from his eyes. “Every single day, Nikolas. Every day.”
“Are you calling a pregnant omega a liar?”
“Maybe so,” Lev hummed. He kissed the corner of Nik’s mouth. “Maybe so.”
Caius came back with an elegant cedar guitar. The gleaming guitar’s finish was clearly done to bring out the natural colors of the wood. Nik’s eyes trailed over the body of the guitar and rested on the careful mosaic beadwork around the hollow. “That design work is specific to Tullum,” Nik said, vaguely accusatory; though mostly amused. “Are you trying to buy me off?”
Caius seemed unbothered. “Not particularly. Just trying to gift you something you would actually enjoy. I find personal gifts are more memorable.”
“Sure,” Nik said, but he was still moving closer to run his fingers along that delicate beadwork.
“Thank you,” Lev said, since Nik didn’t seem inclined to.
Caius merely winked at him.
Lev blushed, since Nik seemed too interested in his new guitar to be embarrassed. He certainly was interested enough to take it from Caius and strum a few bars. Lev elbowed Nik gently. Nik ignored him, but Caius seemed pleased anyway.
Caius dipped himself into a mini bow. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s Cameron’s turn.”
---
Cameron led the prince back towards his office where they could be alone without prying party guests could interfere. He took the gift meant for Darius and sat it carefully on the desk, and turned back to Caius. “I received a call from the witch who will be performing the spell,” Cameron said. “I figured you would want to be informed.”
Caius slipped his hands smoothly into his pockets. “I would.” Caius cocked his head, eyeing Cameron very carefully. “You have certainly come a long way from the bastard whore I met you as.” There wasn’t any disrespect in his words, merely a statement of observation. “Now a lord in your own right, with your own family.”
“I am merely filling in a role that needed filling,” Cameron said. “Though I am grateful nonetheless.”
“Hm.”
“The resurrection,” Cameron said, pointedly, drawing attention from whatever point Caius was clearly trying to make. “Should be happening within the week.”
Caius gave him a look, but let the insolence slide. “So you have someone lined up to be slaughtered for a sacrifice?”
“Slaughtered is a large word for a demon with a weak spine, your grace.”
Caius lifted a groomed brow. “Is that so?”
“The witch’s morals interfered with choosing a warm body, and luckily enough, I happened to have a traitor rotting in my basement.”
Caius snorted. “Traitor? From the rather loud screaming, I did imagine someone was being tortured in this house.” He tapped his temple. “I’d like to see this traitor.”
With little choice to that matter, Cameron led the prince through the house, down to the basement where Sage was still chained up. Cameron had been keeping him well fed and in peak condition outside of his routine torturing. Sage rolled his head towards them, tiredly, but there was a bit of surprise - and a new found fear- flickering in his eyes when he saw Caius next to him.
Caius eyed him slowly, circling the chair bolted into the floor. The impeccable clothes tailored to Caius’ frame were a stark contrast to the sharp bleakness of the room, though Cameron knew the weight of power a good suit held, and how to weaponize it.
When Caius stopped in front of the chair, he had a small smile gracing his face. “I could hear your thoughts from upstairs,” he said. “Clearly you wanted my attention.”
Sage sucked in a haggard breath, trying to not look at Cameron. “Just make him kill me,” he rasped. “I’ve been here for months-”
“My sister was tortured by angels for months on end,” Caius said, unfazed. “She was whipped and beaten and carved up and she hadn’t broken. She hadn’t begged for death, or whatever pathetic attempt at mercy this is. In fact, the difference is,” he said, “this was rather well deserved. Your treasonous actions against your lord led to the events of millions of children dying, so, if you were to die, it’s going to be for something that is definitely not for your benefit.” Caius leaned forward, just enough to keep the blood from touching him. “Don’t worry, your suffering will soon end.”
Caius leaned back and turned to Cameron. “Do what you need. So long as another innocent isn’t taken from these lands, I couldn’t care less.”
Cameron’s mouth twitched, but he just inclined his head.
---
The day had been tense and heavy for Darius. Between getting everything in line with Asmi and Cyrus, and also not returning to the Manor, knowing Destris was lurking the halls, Darius had decided to spend his time that night playing a small game of fetch with Sorin in his demonic form.
A small ball of paper used a rather small amount of energy, so it was easy to keep up. Around three in the morning, they had been playing the quiet game going for the last few hours after Cyrus retired to bed. Sorin had been kind enough to keep him company while his mate slept without him.
It was then that the front door opened silently. Sorin flicked his ears at Cameron, who promptly ignored him and started his way back through the house. Darius rose to his feet and followed him back, veering around him to get to Cyrus before he did to give the witch a heads up.
He touched Cyrus’ shoulder, in effort to wake him. He blinked sleepily at Darius, eyes flashing gold from the amount of swollen magic Cyrus had building inside him. “I’m assuming Cameron is here?” The amount of pure tired that was in Cyrus’ voice didn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated by Darius.
Cameron walked into the room not even a heartbeat later. “Have I come at a bad time?” He sounded very unsympathetic.
Darius flashed Cyrus an apologetic wince.
All Cyrus said was, “No,” while rising to a sitting position. “Are you here to speak to Darius?”
If he hadn’t been watching Cameron’s every move the last five hundred years, he would have missed the way Cameron’s jaw set. “Yes.”
Cyrus gave the smallest of sighs, but stood up. “I have my supplies in my study.”
Unsurprisingly, Cameron merely turned around and most likely started towards the study. Darius simply waited patiently for Cyrus to get ready.
Cyrus rubbed at his face, stifling a yawn with his wrist as he followed Cameron. His movements were slow and heavy, but he only made his way into the study and began lighting candles while Sorin followed, tail swishing over the ground like a fluffy ginger ribbon.
Cameron stood stiffly out of the way, slender hands in his pockets while he waited, unblinkingly in pure silence. Darius did not need his magic to know that Cameron getting here was like pulling teeth.
Darius could only imagine the weight in his chest he’d be feeling at the idea of Cameron avoiding him to the point he has to force himself to be here- to speak to him.
There was relief in Cyrus’ voice as he began the incantation for Darius to manifest to Cameron. When Cameron’s pale eyes slid to him, unreadable as ever, Darius curled a lock of hair behind his ear, if only to relieve some of his own tension. “You wanted to speak with me?”
Cameron’s lips thinned.
Darius gave him the time to be able to put together the words he needed to patiently. Finally, Cameron fixed his jaw once more and said, “I am assuming you still want to be resurrected?”
“Do you still want me to be resurrected?”
Cameron’s eyes narrowed. “The Prince has gifted me papers of your reinstatement as a citizen of Razya the moment you are alive. As if you had never been dead in the first place.”
A citizen of Razya? Darius hadn’t even been considered a citizen when he was alive. Bastards hold no citizenship, no rights, no protection. He hadn’t even had a home before he had been abducted when he was a child. Merely living on the streets. A pretty child with no home was easy prey.
“That was very kind of the prince.”
“Mm.”
“Is that all you wished to tell me?” Darius asked, after a heavy silence.
“I imagine you’re aware that Nik is pregnant.”
When Darius nodded, Cameron said, “I mated him, a few weeks ago when his father tried to stake a claim on him. I used the Old Laws.”
Darius smiled. “That was kind of you,” he observed. “I’m sure Nik adores you very much. He and his child will be safe with you.” When Cameron rose a brow, Darius tried to not snort. “I will do my best to not upset the dichotomy of the house, Cameron. I have a rather pleasant personality.”
“I can see nothing going wrong with that,” Sorin said from the doorway.
Darius flicked Sorin a look. “I’m sure I have no idea what you are referring to, Sorin. I seem to get along rather fine with you.”
Sorin smiled, eyes crinkling. “True enough.”
Darius returned his attention back to Cameron, who was giving Sorin his own irritable look. Though the moment Cameron caught Darius’ eye, his expression returned to neutrality.
“I’m sure you will,” Cameron said, as if Sorin hadn’t spoken a word. “However Nik’s shrunken frontal lobe suggests he will not behave accordingly. So when he eventually does decide to overreact, I suggest you be prepared for it. He’s emotional on a good day and as he is pregnant, he’s even more so.”
“Thank you for the precaution.”
“I thought it would be beneficial.”
Cameron’s pale eyes lingered on him momentarily, flickering in the candle light, before he turned back to Cyrus who was kneeling on the ground near the candles. His eyes seemed rather unfocused. “When can we get this over with?” Cameron asked him. When Cyrus didn’t answer, Cameron moved his attention to Sorin in the doorway. “Focus your witch.”
Cameron rolled his eyes when Sorin hissed at him, but moved to crouch near Cyrus. Cyrus blinked at him, and then fixed his gaze on Cameron. “Pardon?”
“When can we get this over with?” Cameron said, irritably.
He always did detest repeating himself.
“Within the next few days,” Cyrus replied. “I’ve got everything ready. I just need to set it up.”
Cameron pulled out his phone, clearly flicking through his schedule. “I’ll give you the next two days to set up and then I will be here at seven sharp the third day. Be ready by then.”
Cameron slipped his phone into his pocket and disappeared through the door without a glace his way.
Darius bit back his sigh. “I do hope that is alright.”
Cyrus shrugged. “Not that I have much of a choice. But I’ll be fine. Once the spell is done, I’m going to take the longest nap, however.”
“And it will be the most well deserved longest nap,” Darius said, solemnly.
With a tired smile, Cyrus began extinguishing the candles, one by one, coating the room with nighttime once more.
Tagging: @incandescent-creativity @solangelo3088 @lil-miss-red @halstudies @littleyellowdinosaur @caelisis @idreamonpaper
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
“so it’s a date?” “nope. not a date” for Slim/Reader? not from any specific fic, i dont think, though what ive read has been *chefs kiss*
I went with Mutt, since I'm not exactly sure what you meant by Slim? And also, this is absolutely not what you had in mind, most likely, so very sorry about that. On the bright side, it sets up for something else and I kinda like that.
Tags/Warnings: Eating Disorders, insults, not much fluff here, fat-phobia (?), reader has body issues and Mutt is an asshole, seriously an asshole
"Re-Hate-tionship" (SF!Papyrus/reader, platonic SF!Sans&Reader)
Was it bad, how much you hated Mutt? Was it wrong of you, as Black's best friend, to so completely despise his shit-talking older brother?
It can't be wrong, you reason, because he hates you just as much. He makes snide remarks at you, about your clothes, your hair, your anything really as long as it's something to pick at. He mocks you when you're trying to be serious, he pulls faces at the back of your head when he thinks you aren't looking, and you're pretty sure you could draw his middle finger from memory.
So, a mutual hate. A re-hate-tionship, if you will. You said that once, and he laughed, and then he looked so upset with himself for at least three days. Black has begged you both to get along, but honestly he's given up at this point--as long as nobody is throwing anything he lets you dance your dance of disapproval.
You'd asked him once, what you ever did to him, and he replied that you were a human of unknown intentions hanging around his brother...and you assumed that your retaliation had lit the flames to you being a bitch, which fed the hate. It isn't like you didn't try to be civil (okay it was rare but sometimes you tried) but it's hard to stay nice when three seconds after entering the house you're being insulted.
Today was no different, of course, you weren't sure what you'd expected when you'd come over for dinner. He hurled his usual insults at you, but this time he somehow hit a sensitive spot.
"why the fuck're we feeding you, too, again? honestly you could probably fit t'skip a meal, flesh-bag."
You stiffened immediately, and Black noticed. His face was full of fury, ready to tell Mutt off, but he didn't say anything when you sharply shook your head.
But it was too late, he'd noticed your lack of response. He didn't make another stab at your weight, at least not right away, but he smirked like he'd won something as you stabbed at your salad, perforating it over and over but ultimately pushing it away.
You weren't very hungry anymore.
It was halfway through the night, the movie still barely ramping up through the action, when he broke from his usual game of begrudging silence to take another crack at you.
"yer movie picker is shit," he said simply.
"It's a classic, everybody likes this movie," you huffed. "At least, anyone who isn't a complete degenerate. Guess I can't expect you to have any sort of taste, not like me and Black."
That earned a snicker from Black, almost a stamp of approval, and Mutt scowled. You only smiled back sweetly.
"i dunno if you can talk 'bout taste, do y'even taste the snacks you shove in yer face? or are y'just hooverin' them down?"
You pressed your lips into a thin line of displeasure, your free hand not holding the popcorn moving to Black's knee, squeezing as you felt him tense beside you. You don't respond, glaring at the TV in front of you, but you do put the popcorn aside, instead crossing your arms and wholly ignoring his presence.
It's fine. It wasn't as if you hadn't been horrible to him on other nights. You insulted him just as much for things he might be sensitive about--his scars, his golden tooth, other appearance based insults you'd be ashamed to repeat to your mother. Maybe if he didn't get a reaction, he'd poke at something else and leave your eating habits alone.
At the very least his little victory kept him in smug silence until the credits rolled.
"PERHAPS WE SHOULD SEND THE LEFTOVERS HOME WITH YOU, MY DEAR," Black said, bundling the last of it into a Tupperware. "DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR LACK OF APPETITE TONIGHT."
"M'fine," you said, waving away his thinly veiled concern. "You guys keep it."
"a shocking twist of generosity," Mutt added in a bored tone from the living room.
"I'm sorry, did I ask you? Or in some way imply that I was talking to you at all?" You huffed, glaring at him as Black rolled his eyelights, packing the Tupperware into your bag. "You know, you'd be a lot more fun to be around if you didn't spend every waking moment being an asshole."
"i don't spend every moment being an asshole," he chuckled, leaning over the half-wall that separated the kitchen and the living room. "it's somethin' i can turn off, so if that's my worst trait at least m'pretty."
"Gag me," you spat.
"now there's an image."
"Ew!" You scoffed, turning away from him to look at Black with exasperation.
"it's a date, then?" He laughed.
You looked back at him, horrified. "No, no, not a date, definitely not a fucking date. If you think you're coming anywhere close to my mouth with any filthy fucking part of your body--"
"what, i thought you liked a little sausage?" He practically purred. "y'certainly eat like ya'd suck a mean dick."
"MUTT! THAT IS ENOUGH!" Black said swiftly, but the damage was done.
It seemed he had found his new Favorite Thing to poke at about you. The unbothered look on his face as Black raised his voice at him was enough to make that blindingly clear, and you set your jaw, fists clenching as you glared at him.
"I eat like everybody else!" You said finally, hands shaking in your rage. "I'm not fat!"
"OF COURSE, HE DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY--" Black tried, and you shook his hand off your arm.
"He did mean it that way!" You flipped Mutt off, with gusto. "Fuck you, and that isn't an invitation."
With that, you took off, storming out and onto the terrace. You would have left completely but your stuff wasn't all together yet and you didn't fancy coming back for it in twenty minutes. You slammed the sliding glass door as good as you could and dragged a deck chair to the edge of the balcony, plopping down and leaning on your crossed arms, staring down into the trees and foliage behind the building.
You could hear Black blowing up on Mutt inside, though the soundproofing was good enough that you couldn't hear exactly what he was saying, only the tone of it. He knows all about your history with your eating disorder, you'd broken down and cried to him after he'd asked you one too many times if you'd gotten enough to eat.
You understand that underground, resources were scarce, and that's why he always makes sure you've eaten enough. He's been good about his wording since then, carefully asking if you have everything you need, with heavy implications that he means food. It's worked thus far, and sending leftovers home was kind of his way of saying he loved you.
You assume, then, as you calmed down a bit, that Mutt really meant no offense when he said you eat well. It was probably a compliment, even, as veiled as it was. And it wasn't like you'd ever opened up to him about your strained relationship with food and your weight. He probably thought it was funny that a small compliment made you clam up in a way his insults never had.
The door slid open behind you and you sighed, closing your eyes. "It's fine, Black, I'll get over it."
"good, here i thought i'd hafta apologize."
You huffed and turned a glare on Mutt as he closed the door behind him. That was not your best friend as you had expected. "What, did he make you come out here to say sorry? Well, you can save it, I don't take insincere apologies."
"actually, he told me he's fed up with how i treat you and that he didn't want to see me within a mile of ya again." Mutt pulled up the second terrace chair and took a seat. "but i don't think i can do that."
"What, come to make fun of me, then?" You hissed, leaning back and glaring over at him. "Maybe call me names? Make pig noises?"
"i wouldn't do that," he said, seriously. "i pick my words pretty carefully, you know, if i'd'a known you had a thing about food i woulda picked 'em even more carefully."
"Since when do you give a shit about my feelings?"
"always," he said, and you snorted, disbelieving. "we may not get along, but yer important t'sans, that makes you important t'me. an' you ain't nothin' but beautiful, so i guess i didn't think that you'd take it as me callin' you fat."
"First you insult me, and now you lie to me." You stood up, and he looked right up at you as you loomed over him the best you could. "Anything else? Maybe poke fun at my dead mom, or fake-ask-me-out?"
"why would anyone fake asking someone out?" He asked, genuinely surprised. "i'm a mean bitch at heart, so is sans, but we'd never do that."
You huffed. "Well then congrats, you're better than the kids I went to school with. Barely."
He hummed thoughtful and you were about to turn and leave him behind--
"wanna fuck?"
Slowly, you turned around, looking at him in disbelief. "I'm sorry?"
"i said," he stood, crowding you against the balcony fencing, his hands on either side of you. "wanna fuck? you an' i might not get along, but you're fine as fuck, i'm not so bad, and i gotta bed we can work out our aggressions on. so, wanna fuck?"
You inhaled, hands on his chest and ready to push him away...but you're due for some stress relief and if anything you can trust him not to get attached, and despite being the opposite of friends you trust he'd never do anything to hurt you, if only for his brother's sake.
"You know what?" You breathed, straightening your posture. Your hands went from pushing to gripping his shirt. "Yeah. Let's fuck. You've had worse ideas."
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
messy tldw on the current meta. this is just first thoughts and i havent reviewed vods yet so i cant go over the interactions in detail.
the base comp is sigma/ball, echo/tracer/ashe/sometimes mccree, zen/brig/mercy. orisa/sigma is also sometimes played but is only viable in limited situations
this comp is not dive so much as it is spam. the backline is too tanky to make diving useful, so it usually comes down to breaking sigma shield and forcing his cooldowns
theoretically a rush comp could mess with them, but after losing one fight it would be pretty easy to play around it (+ rein sucks). double shield has its moments on certain maps but losing one fight w/ it makes it hard to ever set back up and makes it hard to get value out of the dps that r strong rn
more in depth stuff under the cut
why ball/sigma is played
ball is the foundation of this comp. his speed, shield, disruption, and area denial w/ mines means he can literally spin circles around the other main tanks. winston has less of a capacity to survive cc than him and rein just is bad bc shatter sucks, limited mobility, he cant do anything when shielding, etc. orisa IS sometimes viable as a counter bc of fortify and supercharger, but she has no mobility and running anything but sigma with her is ineffective. hog/zarya doesnt work either but ill get to that later
its sorta a chicken or egg type thing but to me the rest of this comp is focused around denying the enemy ball value/capitalizing on your ball’s value. for this reason, sigma is the other tank paired with ball. his rock is a useful bit of cc, his shield can block burst and piledrive damage and destroy mines, and his grasp helps defend his supports from burst damage. his ultimate is also very good at isolating targets for a kill and also gives him high ground
none of the other main tanks are able to do everything that sigma does. winston can’t protect the backline and can’t poke at enemy shields, rein is bad, and orisa could protect her backline but this comp also focuses around shield break a lot so it’s easy to force her cooldowns and kill her
zarya isn’t played because she’s basically a free kill once her bubbles are used, she doesn’t have as much survivability as sigma does and she’s unable to do damage as she can’t get close enough to the other team’s backline to be effective. her ult is just worse flux specifically bc it doesnt give her high ground and it takes eons to charge. hog has good survivability, but can’t protect his backline during a push. hooking anything vs this comp would be very hard. his ult is comparatively shitty area control and he’s pretty helpless during it so he does fast. dva gets chewed up pretty fast by the dps and again this comp is very tanky so she can’t get much value out of dives. in terms of defending the backline, she’s just worse sigma. she might be playable on certain maps with lots of high ground, but i wouldn’t risk it.
the mobility + burst dmg of the dps mean that hog/zarya isn’t viable anymore bc they just get burst down so fast, and neither of their ults/abilities do much compared to ball/sigma bc the comp is so spread out. also neither of them are able to protect the supports at all
runaway tried zarya/sigma for like 2 minutes and it sucked because they dont really have a frontline in this case and neither can begin an engage vs a dive
why tracer/echo/ashe is played
what makes dps strong in this meta is their ability to counter and synergize with ball. dps have to be able to chase him down, deal enough damage to force him away, and have the mobility to quickly switch targets to the enemy backline as soon as the ball is forced back. they also can’t be dps that he can feasibly 1v1. in terms of synergy, ball’s disruption makes for quick picks on out of position heroes, which means you need a LOT of focused damage, speed, and (vertical) mobility. on those qualifiers, widow, reaper, hanzo, junkrat, and doom are out. sombra and reaper can’t easily get assassinations so theyre out as well. sym torb and mei output a lot of damage and counter ball, but have no mobility and generally don’t synergize well with ball. bastion is (imo) always debatably playable in some kinda weird bunker setup, but usually not worth the risk and only works on certain maps
out of the heroes we’re left with (ashe, echo, genji, mccree, pharah, s76, and tracer), echo ashe tracer and mccree emerge as just. better versions of the others. echo has great mobility and her beam is essential for dealing w/ ball and enemy shields. her ult also fucks. pharah is just a worse version of her and can’t get as much value. tracer has a lot of survivability and mobility, and her kit allows her to get quick picks by sheer spam and force ults. genji has mobility but can’t survive as well as tracer and you have to invest a lot more into making his ult get value. ashe outputs a lot of damage, charges her ult fast w/ dynamite, and also has vertical mobility with her coach gun. her ult is good for area control. mccree is more or less the same, but you trade mobility for cc and slightly more tankiness. s76 has none of those and just sucks
i’ve only seen the cree played in APAC a bit as a replacement for the tracer, i think to give more stability to the backline and to make it easier to handle the echo. that feels more like a playstyle thing than anything else.
the sigma pick is mostly a reaction to these dps. echo absolutely chews up tanks (minus sigma), and sigma can eat pulse and echo right click on top of having a shield + cc so hes kinda a must pick
tracer/echo is the most common duo, with tracer/ashe, ashe/echo, mccree/echo, and ashe/mccree being played on certain maps/by certain teams. NA/EU hasnt played anything with mccree so far. i dont have a complete handle on how they stack up yet but i think i like mccree/echo and tracer/echo best so far
you Could try to run a more divey dps duo i guess, but that’s more easily counterable than sticking with meta
why zen/brig/mercy is played
lucio and moira can’t be played because they have extremely limited range. dive is easily countered right now, so your backline isn’t going to have any easy escapes. zen is the most played support in this comp bc he does tons of damage to shields + discord is great for quick kills (havent made specific notes of it but itll be interesting to see where his harmony/discord usually go). trance is good for surviving flux + surviving spam in general. ana has more heals, but less value bc her nade is pretty easily blocked/eaten and bc nano is single target
brig + mercy are viable in different situations. brig is still sorta tanky + can defend against ball w/ cc and has rally as a backup while also doing pretty good heals. mercy is played on maps with good vertical mobility, usually alongside the ashe. balls have to play more carefully in that circumstance to not die. mercy also allows for echo to go hyper aggro, + valk is a good tempo ult. im not sure which i prefer, and id need to vod review to look at the interactions in detail
misc notes/interactions off the top of my head
echo and tracer end up chasing the ball off a lot and/or killing him, especially w/ beam. ball has to play REALLY careful in this comp and will still take a lot of damage regardless. ults charge fast
tracers duel each other sometimes, but i dont think ive seen many echo fights
echo beam also is good against sigma shield and uses her right click to force grasp so tracer can pulse (ive seen that like once but i think its happening more than that)
in this meta piledriving as ball into more than one target can be a death sentence. jihun did this a lot and was punished harshly for it, but his team also was always Right There when he did (kalios shielded right in front of him so he’d take less damage), but i think it just ended up burning more cooldowns than getting value
individual teams are centering different players, and running different dps/supports to do so. i don’t think there’s an optimal playstyle when it comes to revolving around different dps and that its based on player comfort. the one thing you absolutely should not do is make your ball the playmaker cough cough abang cough
if i have to see one more team pull out the genji i’m gonna scream
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Working Hard Or Hardly Working? | tom holland x reader
(beefcake bby image is not mine)
Summary: the one where you’re struggling with working on your body, but tom isn’t far behind
Word Count: 2.5K
Warnings: body image issues, swearing, the fluffiest shit ive written in a min
———————————
“3, 2, 1 REST…”
“Next up, spiderman plank!”
You groaned as the automated voice instructed you to assume the position. And yet, you proceeded to push through the exercise in hopes that one day, it would be easier. But for right now, you sigh and grunt through every tense muscle and that ache in your lower back.
Tom watched you from a few feet away as he was doing a cooldown run on the treadmill. He has to admit, he was a bit amused with your frustration at the gym. You both used to exercise together, but lately you’ve been preoccupied with this app that tells you what to do, and you do it. You had gotten a head start getting back to the gym after the premiere of Far From Home and downloaded it to help give you direction on what to do for what you wanted to work on. And for you, it was probably the best thing you did.
Also the fact that Tom is one of the most competitive people you’ve ever met.
That didn’t bother you, usually.
But he couldn’t help but notice your attitude at the gym has changed since the press tour ended. You’d been wanting to do your own routine more often, only offering to warm-up and sometimes cooldown routines with Tom. So he allowed you to do your own thing, and would on occasion tease you with,
“S’okay babe, you probably wouldn’t be able to handle my routine anyway,” while flexing his muscles, which you knew has become thicker and more defined since before Far From Home had begun shooting.
He honestly couldn’t complain though, watching you and that ass throw down some squats had never been better.
Other than you doing your own thing at the gym, you also seemed more aggressive with the workouts. When you and Tom first came to the gym together, you would just do some cardio on the elliptical or the treadmill and then finish with some yoga. But now you seem more committed and will do HIIT routine after routine and even lift weights some days as well.
He had also noticed your eating habits had changed drastically as well. He couldn’t remember the last time you had both eaten the same meal. In fact, he couldn’t even remember the last time you had eaten, in general. You just didn’t seem to want to enjoy the usual things you and him would indulge in lately. He minded wandered to last night, when you turned down a legendary pastime you and him would take part in from time to time.
“What kind of pizza should we order?”
“Oh, uh, I’m actually not that hungry.”
“What?” Tom questioned in disbelief. “You’re still drinking though, right?”
You shook your head. “No, sorry. I think I’m going to just have water.”
“You’re kidding, right? You love our beer and pizza nights,” Tom replied, in disbelief.
“You can still order it and we can still watch something!” You reiterated. “I’m just––taking a break from pizza and beer.”
Something seemed off to him. Normally, he just brushed it off, thinking that you missed being active and wanted to catch up. But your mood and behavior didn’t seem right to him.
Frankly, you didn’t look very happy.
You had finished your last exercise, and were left panting and dripping with sweat. You took a sip of water before getting a disinfectant wipe to wipe down your yoga mat. Tom stepped off the treadmill as you finished cleaning your mat, calling over to you.
“Ready to go soon, love?”
You nodded, still trying to catch your breath. Your heart was racing, and your muscles felt thoroughly worked, despite that you skipped some exercises or took more breaks during the hard ones.
As Tom was putting away some of the free weights he has used, you decided to weigh yourself on the scale in the gym. You took a deep breath before stepping on the scale, something you always did, calling it the “moment of truth.”
Standing up straight and sucking everything in, you looked down at the numbers to see your fate.
No change.
It wasn’t the worst thing in the world. You didn’t gain weight, but nothing had been lost either. You sighed, rubbing over your face and through your sweaty hair before stepping off and putting your shoes back on.
Grabbing your stuff, Tom rejoined you at the front of the gym, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you into his side, placing a small kiss on your temple.
He quickly pulled his hand off of your arm, rubbing the excess moisture onto his shirt.
“You’re quite sweaty,” he chuckled. “A bit smelly, too.”
You gave him a small chuckle and smile, humoring him. But it wasn’t as big of a reaction as he normally would get from you.
The ride home was silent between the two of you. Tom posted on his insta story for the thousandth time about Far From Home while you sat in the seat adjacent to him, dealing with your own business.
Leaning your cheek on your hand that was propped up on the window by your elbow, you looked at the graph that the app had created with all the data points you had entered for your weight.
You tried to weigh yourself everyday, or almost every day, once reading somewhere that people who weigh themselves regularly have more motivation and therefore, lose more weight. You’d been committing yourself to working out everyday and trying to make healthier choices for about a month now and you would’ve thought you’d see a small difference in the numbers.
But the graph didn’t show that.
The trend was an absolute mess, with hills and plateaus everywhere. It was disappointing and frustrating to you. And it wasn’t just about looking good,
It was about feeling healthier about yourself.
It almost made you feel like you weren’t allowed to have that. Tom worked hard and trained enough to make his body “Spider-Man ready” but he was also naturally athletic. His body was practically made to look like that.
You, however, are soft and round with some strong build. It was just extremely hard to get that build to show.
Upon arriving back to Tom’s apartment, he went straight to the kitchen to make his usual post-workout protein shake, turning to you as you put your water bottle down on the counter.
“You want one, darling?”
“Uh, no thanks. I think I’m gonna go shower,” You could feel the redness still on your cheeks. “I feel gross.”
And it wasn’t just from the sweat.
Tom nodded, giving you a small smile before you turned and went into his room to grab a change of clothes before walking down the hall to the bathroom to shower.
Tom could sense that you wanted to be alone, deciding that he shouldn’t join you in the shower like he normally would do.
You took your sweet time getting clean, mainly focusing on how your body didn’t feel much different as you rubbed body wash over your skin.
One thing that you and Tom had in common was you both liked the idea of a challenge and would persevere through anything that stretched beyond your normal abilities. That’s why he loved being Spider-Man. He gets to show people what he can really do, even if it takes time, or 40 takes, to get there.
You’re the exact same way. You never really like repeating the same thing over and over again with work and want to show off your capabilities. Normally you would see this as a challenge and keep trying to see it through to your goal.
But lately just the thought of perseverance has been the real challenge.
You wanna just say ‘fuck it’. Some days, you just want to go to the gym and spend time with your boyfriend without being distracted by some app telling you what to do. Some days, you wanna eat all the pizza and drink all the beer you want while watching stupid late night movies with Tom.
Some days, you just want to give up.
And that’s how you’re feeling right now.
You knew Tom was catching on to your behavior, especially with eating. You felt ashamed when you had to decline the traditional things you would eat together and drag his spirits down with you. You had to admit, sometimes you would become jealous that he could eat whatever he wanted, and burn it off quickly without a change in his sculpted body.
It didn’t seem fair to you.
Getting out of the shower, feeling cleaner, you decided to hop on the scale one last time, completely naked. After taking your habitual ‘moment of truth’ deep breath, you stepped on and the result was the same.
“Fuck,” you swore under your breath. It was true.
You stepped off and proceeded to dress yourself with anger, not wanting to dry your hair.
Exiting the bathroom, you passed Tom, who was still in the kitchen, and walked over to the sectional couch where you took your usual corner spot. Tom eventually bumbled over, holding two glasses of a brown, thick liquid.
“I made you one anyway,” he voiced, handing you the fuller glass before sitting down next to you, his knees tucked up and turned towards you. “I figured you hadn’t eaten yet.”
Ugh, why did he have to be so good?
You returned a quiet ‘thanks’ as you accepted the glass. You didn’t take a sip but just stared down into it, the smell making your stomach yearn for a taste.
“It’s chocolate,” Tom pointed out, beaming with pride. “Your favorite.”
“....What time is it?” You asked in response.
“It’s,” Tom paused, checking his phone for the time. “10:10. Why?”
“I-I can’t eat until 11,” you remarked softly.
Tom’s expression contorted into confusion. “Well, that’s the point, babe,” he chuckled. “It’s a protein shake, you’re not eating it.”
You could hear the smile in his voice, wanting to roll your eyes playfully or do something that showed him you were amused. But you just kept your head down, letting out another sigh.
Tom’s tone changed as he saw you were serious and continued to not drink it.
“Aw, c’mon, love, please drink it. Can’t remember when you last had something to eat. And I know I would be starving after what you did at the gym today”
You hated making him feel responsible for your health. You knew you needed to eat, but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him the whole truth.
“I just….want to feel fuller throughout the day,” you explained.
Tom nodded, shifting his own gaze down to his fingers, which were tapping the glass of his cup. He suddenly put his glass down on the coffee table in front of you, before moving closer next to you, placing a hand on your shoulder.
“Y/N….why can’t you eat until 11?” He asked earnestly.
You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes. That was like the equivalent of stressful things building up and you break down once someone asks ‘you okay?.’ You turned your face away from him for a second, trying to gather the words.
“I….don’t w-wanna gain weight and then regret everything tomorrow after I work my ass off at the gym and then don’t see the results,” you spat, the first tear beginning to fall.
“Aw, love,” Tom consoled, taking your glass from your hands to place it next to his on the table before moving slightly behind you so he could pull you into his arms, his chin resting on top of your head.
“What’s all this about? You know I think you’re beautiful,” he reminded you.
You sniffled, wiping your face before pulling away from him. “That’s the thing, Tom.”
“This isn’t about you. I mean, I want to look good for you but that’s not why a-and not to sound vain but...I know I’m pretty,” You rambled out, making yourself chuckle a bit.
He chuckled with you, reaching up to wipe away a tear, pushing a piece of your hair behind your ears before letting you continue.
“I know how you feel about me...and I’m glad you remind me but I just,” you paused for a moment, shifting your eyes from eyes, trying to find how to say it exactly.
“I just want to feel healthier,” you finally get out.
“I haven’t felt that way in….a while,” you admitted. “Especially when the movie premiered, I could just...feel myself going over the edge.”
More tears came to surface, you took a moment to breathe through them.
“And my body just isn’t like yours, I gain weight so easily! And working out everyday isn’t enough; I have to practically not eat anything to see any change in the numbers...right now I’ve been fluctuating back and forth...I just can’t seem to get out of this spot..I-I just,”
You broke down at that point, leaning back into his body as he comforted you, pulling you into his lap.
“It’s okay, baby. You’ve just worried me, ‘s all,” he admitted.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Didn’t mean to make you worry,” you apologized as your tears subsided, resting your head on his shoulder. “But I’m putting in more effort than I can give and it leaves me exhausted everyday. I’m just….frustrated.”
“I’m sorry you’re having a rough time, love. It is hard,” Tom agrees. “But just remember that you’re your own toughest critic and I know you’re strong enough to overcome that. I, for one, think you look sexy as fuck,” he voiced, a hand squeezing your hip.
You chuckle a bit, sensing a similar situation. “I could say the same for you.”
“What do you mean?” Tom questions with a smirk.
You sit up again, leaning back into the cushion of the couch with his arm still around you.
“You’ve just openly talked about how you thought you looked better in the last Spider-Man than in this one so,” you shrugged.
Tom scoffs a laugh. “Yeah, but, that was different. I still look good, I just thought I looked better in Homecoming,” he clarifies.
“Okay, well, I, for one, think you look sexy as fuck anytime,” you emphasized, throwing his words back at him, while squeezing his thick bicep.
Tom tipped his head back, laughing before wrapping you in his arms again to squish you into a hug. Pulling away, he kissed your lips quickly before pulling away slightly, his nose brushing yours.
“Well, my point is, we can figure out what you need together. I’m glad that you’re trying to help improve on yourself but just know that I’m here to support you all the way.”
“Thanks, Tommy,” you giggled before placing your lips on his again, your hand going to the back of his neck while his pulled your waist closer.
“Starting with,” he spoke against your lips before pulling away and reaching over.
“Chugging this,” He held the drink he made for you in front of you, prompting you to finally drink it.
“Are you serious?” You laughed, raising your brows.
“YESSSSS,” he replied, singing loudly. “You’re gonna have to drink it if you wanna build that muscle,” he pointed out, squeezing your bicep, which had a little more loose skin on it than his did.
You sighed dramatically, taking the glass from his hands, looking down at the thick, brown liquid again.
“Weeeeeee like to drink with Y/N because Y/N is our mate—” Tom started sing-yelling again, this time belting out one of your infamous drinking songs.
“—Okay, okay” you shushed him, covering your hand over his mouth to silence him. “But if I puke, you’re gonna regret it.”
“And she gets it down in 8, 7, 6…”
Bitch.
~
A/N: im back bitcH. heres a lil surprise for everyone, i know its not GRIND but i want to thank everyone for being so patient with me while i was away! i wanted to start with something a lil smaller before i get back into GRIND but i have been writing for it and it’s coming, i promise. i thought of this idea this morning and wrote it today (fastest i’ve written in a while) and this ones pretty personal for me rn bc i have been struggling with trying to take care of my health and i thought it tied in well with toms comment about his physique in ffh. anyway, be patient with yourself and consistency will take care of you!!
xx. tommybaholland 🌺
i haven’t written in a minute pls tell me ur thoughts!
MASTERLIST.
PERMANENT TAGS
@spiderman-n // @embrace-themagic // @lucille-lovely // @savethebabyseals // @tommyhollander2013 // @justapotatonow // @citlxllitl // @dark-night-sky-99 // @padackles2010 // @smexylemony // @allofthebitters // @hollandechart // @deranged-sewer-rat // @cassiopeia-barrow // @sunshinehollandd // @mellifluous-tom // @brokenuntilapril26th2019 // @james--buchanann--barnes // @awkwardfangirl2014 // @sensitive-barnes // @its-the-unknownspidey // @nedthegay // @summernykole
wanna be permanently tagged? add yourself here!
#tom holland#tom holland imagine#tom holland x you#tom holland x reader#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland fluff#tom holland story#tom holland scenario#tom holland one shot#tom holland blurb#tom holland drabble#peter parker headcanon#when i'm with you#one shot series#tommybaholland#wimwy
133 notes
·
View notes
Note
ABB3 and I were talking about this earlier, you see I've recently got into the fate fandom and I was wondering if you had any belly canons for any of the guys, specifically Gilgamesh and Fate stay night's Lancer? Or any other guys you like from the series~ (Ive only seen fate zero and fate stay night so far btw.) ^_^
Oh hey good on ya! I'm still a woeful casual when it comes to the series, but it's provided some real nice guys to fawn over~ But alright lemme see what I can do...
G/ilgamesh
Well the fun thing about G/ilgamesh is that his monumentally enormous ego is matched only by his looks... and hopefully his appetite. Cuz I mean, damn, boy knows how to dress to impress.
The thing is though that his taste is incredibly high class, so he'll only be dining on 5-star dishes. He's been around modern society enough to know how to get what he likes, after all. The thing is though that he would be so caught up in holding this fact over others heads that he would neglect to take note of just how much he may be eating. Like, I don't see him as the sort to actively flaunt stuffing himself taut. He may even be secretly embarrassed by it, but damn if he won't play it off as something along the lines of course he's privileged to such gorging. Anything like greasy fast food he wouldn't allow to slip past his lips UNLESS his ability to even do so was being questioned. His weakness is having his ego struck in any way, after all. Then he would certainly have to silence the mongrels' barking and prove himself... probably leading to a very full, very upset stomach having so much garbage filling his belly. At that point he might require some belly rubs - something he would order someone he deems capable of providing to do. Perhaps threatening that if they aren't up to task, they may find themself added to the rest of the trash.
Whiiich leads into the headcanons for vore HAHAH// The King of Heroes lords over all, and sometimes he needs to assert his superiority in less conventional, but no less absolute ways. I don't think he would be too actively yearning to eat anyone, since his body is perfection that he doesn't want anyone ruining. It might be once his (admittedly thin) patience is tested in a certain manner (maybe someone questioned his appetite a little too hard?) that he will give them the privilege of being shown just what he can do. Most anyone he eats he would be dismissive of after; they're food now, they should settle down, and don't they dare give him indigestion, or he can make this even harder on them. And again, this is probably something he prefers to keep private. Although if any company shows up, I feel like Gil wouldn't be doing much to hide his large, squirming belly - like, full on sitting back, just idly stroking over the mega bloat, half-attempting to stifle burps or hiccups, mostly just quietly annoyed. Regardless of how awkward that might make the other feel. Nonfatal situations I think require for G/ilgamesh to at least feel a little respect for who he's gulped down? Which is no easy feat of course, so... he would definitely be the "one way trip" sort of pred the vast majority of the time. But even if that requirement is met, it wouldn't necessarily deter him from carrying on his day as he otherwise would, which includes eating and drinking what he pleases, and giving his belly a firm smack if his stomach's occupant protests. Basically, his wants and needs always take priority.
O/zymandias
Okay and because it would be a good follow-up, another who my friends like would be O/zymandias. Again, another drop dead gorgeous king~
Unfortunately though, since they share such similar attitudes, a lot of headcanons for Gil apply to Ozy OTL That includes the fine taste, being mostly spurred into eating past his comfort levels by having his pride put on the line, and the authoritative aura he carries even when he's aching with fullness. As a matter of fact it's often fun to imagine them being quite the pair when it comes to eating; they're likely to goad each other into eating more and more with neither willing to face the shame of having the weaker stomach. Thank goodness they get along so well... for them, anyway. Maybe not so much for the restaurant they visit, or the unfortunate people who may be included in their kingly feasting.
I think a good distinction to make Ozy stand out more is that he's not quite so much a jerk as Gil would be regarded as? He's got a monumental ego sure, but seems to be less likely to utterly disregard the personhood of others in the process. So it may take a little more to make him deem someone to be his next meal... maybe. Possibly. His body is a temple, he can't very well be making this a habit, after all. Consequently I also think he would be a bit more likely to indulge in nonfatal scenarios, too. And with the mighty pharaoh he would make a little more effort in being a proper host. Oh, and since there was a funny bit a dialogue in the game where he staunchly denied being decapitated in the most huffy, tsundere way, I think that would apply to him having a ridiculously filled gut as well. "There's nothing wrong with my stomach... *grrrgghh...*"
A/sterios
Another one that friends have a big liking to so of course I'll jump on that too! What we got here is a colossal 9'9" tall berserker bull man, THE Minotaur of legend himself. The fun thing about him is that, as the myth tells, he's canonically eaten people - and plenty of them, too. He's got a great deal of dialogue alluding to how easily he could put even you on the menu as well. So, while he might have some difficulty speaking... his stomach can do the talking for him. Like, he already struggles to control his beastly urges, so who could blame him if he slipped up, caught someone in his inescapable clutches, and ate them? Or even two? He's almost twice as large as normal humans; it would be far less difficult for him to gorge on more than one. Consuming others would be treated as something that just comes natural to A/sterios, like a hunger that was finally quenched.
On the stuffing end (sorry for the reverse order, he's just far more likely to enjoy meat on the very rare side) the bull would require a lot to satisfy him. He's used to eating whole, poor people who were dumped into his labyrinth, after all. And again, this absolute unit is BIG. Not to mention being treated to food beyond "human" would probably be a novel experience for him. He's been in the labyrinth all his life, he has the whole world to see and experience! Poor A/sterios would probably be overwhelmed and adorably yearning to try everything. Very open to being fed, and having his belly rubbed, too! Just, again, both of these things are gonna take a while, given his size.
A/chilles
Husband material that captured my heart big time when I finally got around to watching A/pocryphaaa// He's got a similar vibe to C/u C/hulainn with his lax attitude and enjoyment in fighting. The differences between them though help to separate my headcanons just a bit. Like, whereas Cu's more laid-back the majority of the time, A/chilles has more of an intensity to him. He's more excited by a challenge for one, and that can play easily into some fun headcanons. Like, any meal he sits down for will be filling him up, but afterwards if he sees there's an eating contest going down, he'd still be going "Yeah I bet I could win, piece of cake *urp* Maybe poor choice of words..." And then claim that filling his stomach up beforehand was just to give everyone else a fighting chance. And he will win, it'll just... be something of a pyrrhic victory. One that he'll still try to take pride in sure, but not without a lot of groaning and claiming that he must weigh twice as heavy now. And as wont as the Greek hero would be to lie back and let everything digest, he's just as quickly to pull himself back up and heft around the gurgling gorge, since he hates to be bored or to seem pathetic. After all, while his ego might not be anywhere near the mountainous scale Gil's is, he still has a hefty arrogance to him that can be used to push him (and his belly) further. Though unlike the king and pharaoh, I think A/chilles would genuinely be unabashed in his bloated state, let alone the thunderous belches that might come about - just sighing with relief after and giving his stomach a pat. Even when receiving some welcomed belly rubs, don’t be offended if you get caught in the blast radius HAHAH
Regarding vore, I think A/chilles would very much have the mindset of "eating someone means claiming total victory." And it would probably be something he revels in just as much as any victory, roughly massaging his stomach, trying to clench his stretched thin abs, etc. What makes A/chilles unique is that, as said, he likes a challenge. That means that while he's groaning for his prey to settle down, he's also outright encouraging them to fight against his stomach, which might not phase him quite as much as it would others since, y'know, invincible body and all. If they're especially feisty, to the point it's making the brash hero gag, heave, have to swallow down lumps rising back up his throat, well then that struggle just makes this all the better. Heck, if they're not up to that point he may even waddle himself over to eat more, just to get himself to that point of barely keeping it together. Even in nonfatal situations, the Rider would undoubtedly enjoy making his carry-on squirm - probably utilizing effective teasing to get them riled up, like hiccuping and asking just how much they weigh, or downing a full gallon of drink to drench them, burping, and saying lugging them in his stomach is thirsty work. Much more inclined to some rough play than the blue Lancer would be, methinks. That includes all the belly play of jostling, prodding, 'accidentally' lying on his stomach a bit, all that goodness~
(I left C/u C/hulainn out because I remembered I already did a big post about him here, among other posts, so enjoy that if you’d like!)
#there's others certainly#but i already went too hard on this//#i'm sad i'm not doing anything with a/chilles yet#the-elusive-libbin
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
outoforderaro replied to your post “The steps that go into eating”
yes! same! ok so the thing i try to do on step 5 is that when i repeat the first 4 a couple times i make a rule that whatever i thought/think of first that im not actually actively against, i do that. so maybe ramen doesnt actually sound good, but it doesn't sound *bad* and so i make that, or otherwise ill make nothing at all. so i absolutely feel you! and obvs this still requires step 1 and really 2-4 at least once so it's still not a silver bullet and i get stuck still
sorry! tl;dr: my solution for 5 at least is "the first thing that wasnt actively terrible" which is a) maybe helpful and b) doesnt help for any of the rest
That’s not a bad idea, especially since i feel “meh” about everything a lot of the time
this is me tho except ive put your 7 (get up) after your 1. step 1 is hard because the usual answer is by attaching it to a time since my last meal but i dont have a consistent cycle nor remember when i last ate (which really means i should get back to/stick with writing that down)
I usually know when I need to eat because I have alarms! I always feed my kitties wet food in the morning so they wake me up and I make breakfast, then I have alarms that go off at 12:30 and 5:30 to remind me to cook/eat.
Sometimes I turn off the alarm but then forget to go eat, but at least then I know that I need to have eaten, so I will eat when I finally remember.
Also if I try to get up before I’ve decided what to eat I’ll end up just sitting back down again without having done the thing, which is why it’s the last thing before *taking action*
ok sorry again if this is too much! i just #relate and i hope this might be helpful! and also im idk glad to be able to be like 'same hat!' even if it's about a bad thing, yk? yeah sorry to blow up the replies here
You absolutely do not have to apologize for replying! Replies are good actually and I like talking to you.
I have now eaten all of my leftover pumpkin risotto, which means that future me will be sad that they don’t have it, but hopefully I will be able to sleep now.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
current mind-space//word vomit
it’s amazing how much can change in a few days, but it hasn’t been a week since my finals ended and i already felt so different. i have been doing f45 everyday this week (if not then some kind of workout, but i’ve really been into that recently). i am feeling so much better now without deadlines, sometimes i don’t know if i function better under pressure or not. i guess not, but then it’s amazing how much i can do and achieve under pressure. i need the right amount of pressure, and this semester it has been a little difficult for me to get around that.
last friday was kinda my last day of finals, i just had an essay to submit, and i am disappointed in myself and my work ethic because i submitted it at 9pm, went to my cousin’s (disappointing) party, and then professor emailed me to say that she cannot read Pages format (seriously smh @ my tardiness!!!), only got back at 1am that night and sent my mediocre essay. i am a little sad about it because i know that is not my 100%. idk why but college so far has just been a series of 80% effort. this paper was an interesting one, on airbnb, on the sharing economy, it’s a performance studies paper where i analyze the hospitality platform in terms of host-user relationship, parasitism and (attempted) to talk about free online labor. it is a little too late now but i kinda want to work on it again and like, submit for feedback. maybe ill ask taylor.
last saturday was kinda meh, i agreed to go to a *social* kinda event at a bar/club at chelsea, held for Asian-ivy-alumni-people that yanlin invited me too. it was at up&up and honestly a little...i didn’t enjoy it at all. the music sucked, the people were either too dorky or gross or old or weird, and the whole time i just kept saying to myself, “never again”. they said it was open bar but they only served absolut, which was shit. and then my friend’s two friends were...i feel sorry that this was their first clubbing experience. at the beginning my reaction was look at all these ivy alumni! get hitched with one of them for ~da connectsx~ (and nothing else) but no kidding i was actually interested in talking to them just to get to know what people who graduated from ivies are up to, and what are they doing at such events...and are they actually enjoying themselves because it was really kinda gross. met my friend’s friend who seemed like a really smart engineer (he asked for my number the next day lol), and a german dude at the bar who didn’t want to get me a drink. all i needed that night was a drink.....(i’m glad i didn’t drink tho because recently drinking has made me feel all kinds of bad)
we had ramen after at ramen-ya (most probably the worst ramen and charsiew i’ve had but what can we do at 3am and my friend wanted noodle and soup...)
on sunday i KNow i should have left my house earlier to workout but i didn’t. i was angry at myself that i didn’t. instead, i stayed at home and emotion-ate. i must have eaten more green bean soup than my stomach would have liked. what else...avocado? i remember..two bananas? god. this was the day i felt like i was n’s boyfriend because i had to do what she wanted to do. i know i had agreed on going, but at that point i really wanted to go thrifting or something. i mean when i got to central park it was fine and things were good but the whole day just felt like i was kinda pulled into doing something that wasn’t my first choice of plans, not that i didn’t enjoy myself lying under the sun at the park. it just felt like i was accompanying someone. i was half an hour late to meet her as well, and half heartedly got a burrito-wrap at newsbar. if you think about it it is really kinda funny, we’re just buying food and taking the subway to this grass patch 50 blocks away. we didn’t walk much, we literally only stayed at a little grassy slope overlooking the baseball pitch. anyway we went to a dance class after (the class was an hour long but i felt like n had asked me about when and what time we should book the classes for more than an hour by text so i just got really sick of it)
i rushed home and got dinner with my uncle who’s in town for my cousin’s graduation. i was surprised that he chose the same japanese restaurant again, after dissing it half a year ago we ate here. the omakase was crazy and it cost 230 per person. (for the most expensive set) it was also kinda dumb because you aren’t allowed to order a different omakase set from anyone else - everyone on the table has to order the same - because of “timing”. i wonder if this is how it is in japanese omakase etiquette, but in any case it really earned them a hefty amount because my uncle decided to get 230 for all of us. qiyang didn’t like and said qiqi had bad taste, hahaha. the food wasn’t bad, i mean it’s japanese fusion, but the prices were way too steep for the taste. anyway enough about the food, during the dinner i think we talked about many things though. i kinda wanted to talk to my uncle individually because i think he is the only one who knows about ah gong, but he was sick, and i could tell he was exhausted. my aunt got a little impatient because i didn’t arrange plans to take their furniture and they were going to throw all of them away and it was actually the first time i’ve seen her get so worked up - but at the same time trying to control her emotions - because she was talking to me. i could tell she was annoyed though but i tried not to take it personally, and arranged it tomorrow.
arranging the moving stuff was kinda last minute, i was walking to the library for work one day and i saw a truck that said MakeSpace. i assumed it was a kind of moving company and so i looked them up. they seemed to be pretty okay in terms of their services and so i decided to try them out. confirmation and setting up an appointment went pretty smoothly, except for the part where the guy i think his name was joseph, asked me to give my credit card details over the phone. idk why i did that! i stopped though, and asked him why, to which he replied he wanted to key in with the coupon code. this service has so much gimmicks within the first 2-3 minutes on the phone he was already telling me about how the first pick up is free, and that he will deduct 100$ off the first month...when people give you discounts too easily it just feels like a ploy and a thing they give to everyone, it’s not anything special and it’s probably calculated inside whatever we have to pay. anyway, i was just thinking it would be cheaper (assuming the maximum that i would have to pay is ~$500, as i confirmed with them on the phone yesterday), it’d still be cheaper than starting an apartment lease now and going through the trouble of finding two subletters.
well. idk, it’s also easy to have things all moved in, i have to find a place to store my perishables!
moving is so much work, and storing things. this reminds me of my paper on airbnb and about the digital nomad lifestyle. it is interesting though, that this is what it has become. but the homogenized aesthetic is something i really cannot stand, in airbnb, in coffeeshops around the world..i am sure you know what i’m talking about. a new york times writer did something about this - he termed it “Airspace” - and apparently it originated from Brooklyn. I guess that’s where the art/avant-garde stuff started. well. keep a look out im gonna write a blogpost about that
moving on
nat came to sleepover on sunday night and a few days after because the school kicks you out of the dorms you pay so much for right after your final ends. i forgot if we did something fun but i probably just fell asleep.
on monday i think i went to f45 and did cardio at Dumbo with Gi. he seems like a pretty nice trainer, the first time i went it was him and another girl Bertha (i think my first f45 was last tuesday) and i felt like i had two personal trainers with me - Gi was cheering me on and Bertha was doing it with me. it felt like such a good workout, one of the best ive had in a while. then work, where i arranged the movers stuff. i also realized i bought the wrong date for my flight ticket as my friends and had to buy one more...............
tuesday was the same f45 in the morning, and the bobst after. didn’t really get much work done at bobst. oh i also viewed a 3BR flex at 160. hella expensive and small, and dates didn’t work out anyway. also the broker who brought us to view the apartment was a very nice tall french man and his name was jean-francois which i couldn’t pronounce and asked nat but still called him jean as in jeen instead of john. this is why i have to learn french. you’re embarrassing. i also went to the itp/ima spring show with shubham which was super cool. there were many cool ideas, and i just wonder if i could create something like that. i didn’t get to see all of the exhibits which i regret, but i remember a few notable projects. one was an installation made with keyboards that randomly clicks, but when you hold your phone up it’ll stop. it’s made using 3d gestures. there’s also one at a gallery for surveillance, this team had a thing they call facebox, and it’s literally a box, that when you open it has a webcam that would capture your face, find you on facebook, and print out an invoice/receipt on how much you have earned for this giant tech company. what else...an AR project that when you scan a food, it shows you where the food comes from. nat said that she would love it if menus have something they could scan and then have pictures appear in ~holographic~ format, or maybe in the nearer future something on your phone that shows you a picture of the picture of the food. but isn’t it a surprise tho? sometimes the fun’s in the surprise, you read the description, you know what are the foods you’ll eat, leaving room to imagine or be surprised by how the chef puts it together!
anyway, went for dinner with nat and jenny - got vegan shwarma (definitely wasn’t worth $14) and went to get crepes with will after.
wednesday we were gonna go to the dmv but we weren’t prepared. nat also needed to get her passport and she was lazy. wow the number of times i mentioned her, it feels like she’s my boyfriend at this point. talked to famz, sister, and beatrix. am currently considering if i should even go to beijing or just go straight home. fuck. went to bobst for work but no one was there i was just really sleepy. viewed an apartment at 55 morton (it’s a nice quiet residential street that seems to be tucked away from the loud cars and bars and people)
then i went to f45 again-varsity!!! cardio!!!, walked across brooklyn bridge (a little regret although i wanted to walk, but my bag was heavy and there were too many tourists to brisk walk)
also the reason for this is that after my soba/miso/salad/shrimp dinner last night i was just watching a bunch of netflix shows and it was probably the caffeine from puerto rican roasting company - the barista made me a chai cappuccino with almond milk (3 SHOTS!!!)
me and nat couldn’t sleep, i really think i slept for an hour. i watched so many different shows, yoko and john’s documentary, while we were young, anthony bourdain, i was seriously flipping through all the shows and alternating between amazonprme and youtube and netflix and i even tried watching peaceful cuisine and making the brightness lower and had the sleep mode on and wow i just couldn’t sleep
so yeah the birth of this word vomit
i am going to create more things
1 note
·
View note
Note
(1/2) Hey! Thank you SO much for that long reply! It’s really comforting to know that there are definitely people who struggle with this issue too. I originally took her to the vet because she hadn’t eaten for a month and I was a bit concerned. I assumed she was just ovulating but the vet told me she would have to lay the eggs she was carrying. I called them today and let them know she has still not laid them. They said they should go ahead and do the surgery while she’s still strong so there
(2/2) will be a better chance of survival. The thing about my vets is the act like they have all the information on everything and have never informed me if they have a lapse in education. So I assume they know what they’re doing? But I’m still worried. I’m hopping she’ll just lay the eggs before her surgery next week so this whole thing can be done.
From the way this is phrased, I’m going to assume that your vet is an all species or mammal vet who takes other species less frequently? I’m not about to decry a vet, but I will say that they are people and can be fallible in things they aren’t as experienced in. The entire field of medicine is sometimes, unfortunately, ruled by educated guesses and what you read on paper. This happens in human medicine frequently and that’s for doctors who only have to be studied on a single organism!
Not all vets will defer to others, either. They may feel that they really do know what they’re doing or have done it a time or two and feel confident in their practice. I don’t want to keep making leaps of logic here. I’ve probably made my point. Here’s the thing. On paper, a female that looks like she has eggs. Hasn’t eaten in a month? That could be going by the book, and of course anyone who doesn’t deal with reptiles much often thinks, ‘My god, not eaten in four weeks!’ When it can be very natural for a reptile. I’ve even talked to vets who are surprised by that because they are mammal focused. That’s what they see every day. It’s not their fault at all.
And while it is absolutely true that doing surgery early while they’re still strong enough is paramount, with major surgery there still needs to be a level of certainty that it’s absolutely necessary. The first vet who treated Nalani didn’t know that you had to stitch their skin back a certain way or risk it never starting to heal. Those are just things in the small details. Is this vet not reevaulating your girl? Did she have new symptoms? Did they ask?
But didn’t you say in the other ask that she still had something of an appetite? When is the last time she ate? Is she losing weight quickly? Is she showing any signs of discomfort? If she’s eating, is she still going to the bathroom normally? Is she managing to pass even just urates?
What did the vet use to diagnose these eggs? Did they take x-rays? Did you get to see that or take them home/get them emailed? You could consult another vet with those possibly.
If you’ve taken pictures of her during this ordeal, compare earlier pictures to her most recent to see if she’s looking lots thinner. I’d be happy to take a look at pictures of the girl, too. But I’m no professional.
Again, I’m not personally a vet and am not going to outright say your vet is wrong. But if they aren’t at least an avian specialist, and they don’t deal with reptiles on at least a semi-regular basis, I would ask if there are any specialists they know of in the area that they could point you to.
Or if you’re nervous about that, see if you can find a reptile or avian vet that does come up in your searches online, even if they’re a bit of a ways off and ask if they know of anyone closer by. When I moved here I did tons of searches and didn’t manage to come up with much, so I went by what some local people said.
But once this blew up and I actually found a reptile specialist vet, well they had a whole list of names because they knew of one another, if not knew each other personally. These are in a fairly large square mile radius and the one vet referred to them all by first name. Vets in an area usually know one another pretty darn well, in my experience. The ‘vet community’ always seems pretty tight knit to me, and frankly if they don’t know other vets, I’d kinda wonder about that.
The specialist I found was semi-retired and had given up his specialist practice, which is why I hadn’t been able to search up his name before I only found his name when I did a specific search for the small city that my nephew lives in, called them, and asked if they knew of anyone further out. None of these vets had come up in searches for the metro area alone.
By all means, if your girl sounds like my story did, then it’s probably time for surgery. But if she’s eating some, going to the bathroom pretty normally, is still plump/holding her weight, and still seems the same as always, just get a second opinion. Looking around on forum posts in the last two months as I have, I’ve seen people who had surgeries SCHEDULED with their vet, get told to go get a second opinion only to find out that the first vet had mistaken fat pads for eggs. It can happen.
I don’t want to get your hopes up that nothing is wrong, here, but you just want to be sure. Two full weeks truly eggbound would be quite a while. Your girl should be showing some sign of distress by now, I would think, even if it’s just the bloating and fast weight loss.
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
What are your favourite head/canon things about Alberta
[cracks knuckles] [stretches fingers]
so i’ll just start with a disclaimer - i use sherry’s/iamp/whatever alberta and i realize ive been getting a lot of followers who are part of rp groups and whatever or people who might be interested in adding some depth to their own ocs so feel free to like… think about these things if you want if you’re thinking of doing an alberta oc?? I guess
so since that mysterious slash implies what are my fave canonical things about AB too I’ll say that there isn’t much- I go with what sherry says on canon rather than IAMP and PC because while there are a lot of things I had influence over in both projos there are a lot of things I would have done differently so we’ll start with the bio
Canon Stuff
literally all the things are accurate sooo its hard lol. Obviously the political situation has changed and the economic situation is its usual rollercoaster (WELL… but thats another time). I gotta say that the ‘alberta beef is the best thing that’s ever happened to me’ is really hitting home right now because i didnt realize how SPOILED i was by AAA beef until I got to Ontario ToT (ngl the pork here is super good and saves me money but the BEEF aAAA)
also my edmonton bias shines through at ‘he hates a part of himself called calgary’ thats by far my second fave B)))
Headcanon Stuff
ok where to start I will try to not make this an essay and i can elaborate more if you’re curious
- a lot of people will wonder about whether a province lives in the capital or the biggest city etc. and I have to say in Bertie’s case it is NEITHER. He’d never willingly live in (d)E(a)dmonton (sorry ed ilu) because Ed represents Government which he Hates and while he would spend a fair bit of time in Calgary he gets claustrophobic/exhausted - he still in my mind represents more of the rural bits of the province than the cities. I think he might move around a little, but he probably lives on a ranch between both cities but within sight of the mountains. I’m sure he has a place to stay in each city, but he’s a country boy at heart and appreciates his space, peace and quiet.
- Particularly space because Where else is he going to keep his 3 trucks + 2 ATVs + horses + 100000 cows + boat + canoe + kayak + all his camping junk + motorbikes + dirtbikes + tractor + other junk that people leave at his place
- that said his ‘birthplace’ is the southern ‘half’ of the province so he tends to kind of hover around there more- as i said he owns a ranch rather than a farm because the Quality Ranch Land is in the south and the Good Farm Land is in the north (and being eaten up by ugly houses ugh)
- still I think he spends a fair amount of time working up north in the Fort Mac area because Why Not make All the money. Even if you’re a rancher boy in the middle of nowhere, everyone in this province has ties to the oil industry one way or another. It wouldn’t make sense for him NOT to work in Oil and Gas because it’s literally the only job in the province lmao.
- His driving playlist consists of: Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Keith Urban, Ian Tyson, and the obligatory Nickelback which he listens to Un-ironically but also to piss off/drown out passengers when they’re annoying him
- He’s easily annoyed. By Everything. And Everyone. He’s the current national scapegoat and he takes it Extremely Personally depending on the context but also he has a relatively affectionate relationship with everyone and usually expresses his affection by pointed jabs.
- like he literally gets along with everyone on a personal level and not just because he buys them drinks- his worst relationships are probably with BC and Ontario and that’s just because he lives to irritate them and they respond with an appropriate amount of salt. He still doesnt mind hanging out with them and bc/ab/on/qc is an unstoppable team. He just gets extremely sensitive when anyone asks to borrow money from him and will give you an earful of ‘i work SO HARD for this money to put FOOD on YOUR TaBLe’
- generally really tight fisted with money………. only when other people are looking. he makes a big deal about how little he spends on essential services and you just look at him like ‘so you’re saying you have the money to get all this crap for this rodeo coming up but you dont have the money to take yourself to the hospital after’ and hes like [coughs up blood anime style] ‘im ok i have whiskey and benadryl at home’ [adjusts his diamond studded hat]
- really big on loyalty and straightforward conversations and has NO patience for any hypocrisy or doublespeak no matter how small. The slightest of things can send him reeling with Betrayal. Also this makes him either tight lipped or TMI, there is no in between.
- like literally reeling he’s very top heavy and you could blow him over with a sneeze, he’s all bark and only some bite. When he’s good he’s Real Good but when he’s bad he’s like a foot in the grave bad
- he’s the baby of the prairie bros but also the one with the brains- and i don’t mean in an academic sense i mean in the ‘so crazy it just might work’ sense.
- literally he’s an idiot he doesnt understand how equalization payments work no matter how many times you explain it to him. He doesn’t understand a lot of things re: the economy but he never shuts up about them.
- the easiest way to piss him off is to threaten his autonomy in any way, he will stop whatever he’s doing to put a boot up yer ass if you Dare suggest something like ‘why don’t you let ontario/canada take care of that for you’ even if he knows the way he’s doing something is garbage he will go out of his way to keep doing it because its ‘my way or the highway’.
- ‘why do you have all those guns’ ‘oh you know hunting deer and stuff’ [really its because he’s terrified a rat is going to sneak into his barn or something] [but he does actually hunt] [and he’s the type of guy to have the ‘trespassers will be shot’ signs]
- I haven’t figured out WHAT truck he drives yet but i am PROUD OF HIM for no longer putting truck nuts on it, THANK GOD that went out of fashion. (That said he does not have the stacks- his truck is lifted and Shiny and also has a handful of Alberta Strong decals/stickers.) Newf probably gave him a sticker of “The Rock” or a nfld flag and he Loves it. On a scale of most to least obnoxious trucks its Mac - Bert - Cal - Ed. It’s probably a white truck.
- i should think about things he loves more, this headcanon list is mostly things that make him angry oops xDD he loves animals a lot, and not just to eat i swear. The bigger and the more horns the better.
- he really loves driving a lot, it’s like a big part of his independence factor. I think sometimes he will just drive aimlessly late at night/early morning when it’s not busy and just go and find somewhere to look at the sky.
- he looooves digging up fossils in his spare time, or just interesting rocks in general. If you say the words animatronic dinosaur he is ALREADY THERE
- he watches a lot of sci fi and really loves star trek. So Much. he’s totally attempted mowing crop circles in his lawn/fields probably multiple times. he’s still waiting for the ufos to come land. Also has a thing for spooky places and cryptids and those weird inexplicable twilight-zone like events that only happen on road trips. did i mention the Giant Roadside Attractions.
- he has this persona of being a traditional/small-and-big-c conservative but he’s actually really into innovation and trying new things, meeting new people, etc. He interacts with so many different people lately that he’s trying to take the time to really re-evaluate himself and move away from the Klein-era “Severely Normal People” image because it doesn’t reflect him. The issue is he’s more likely to vote on economy rather than social issues so his actual progressiveness gets hidden by lack of political representation (and lets be honest he has Always hated politics). He’s got a lot of crap to sort through but he catches people who underestimate him off guard.
- was probably raised methodist/protestant/whatever but is mostly pretty secular, but he has some definite strong holdovers that make him uncomfortable about certain subjects and his first reaction to being uncomfortable is always anger.
- completely oblivious to being hit on or something or really gay situations around him but is that type of person who is like [cant walk too close to another dude because what if it looks gay bro].
- his fave cow is named buttercup
- he has definitely woken up after a night out with friends naked and alone duct taped to an air mattress and floating in the middle of a lake. true story.
- he will macgyver his way out of any situation. doesn’t mind getting down and dirty in the mud when it’s necessary. exactly the type of person to shove his hands in bitumen and squish it around or to pick up a rock and lick it or to shove a thermometer up a cow. When he gets squeamish he does his best to be bullheaded and pretend like Nothing is Wrong until he faints.
- his french is crap but he Tries- the french he knows is backwater northern AB french which he’s too shy to bring up so he feigns ignorance. His german is good and his ukrainian is passable, his spanish is fine, he’s trying to get the hang of some other languages but doesn’t tell anyone he’s practicing because he hates getting made fun of xD
- the hat and boots are Absolutely to make him look taller than he actually is. He doesn’t wear inserts but he does make sure the sole/heel on any boot he buys is Thick. Smol insecure man with a Big hat. Will spend 300 bucks on shoes, but he actually does ride/work so its an investment for him.
- heads to Arizona/Mexico in the winter when he’s not working, otherwise Banff/Jasper are his ‘budget’ vacations lol.
i love this stupid province pls ask if you have any more questions because i love to talk and i feel like i’ve said too much already lol
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do the Script blogs accept/answer questions that have to do with writing fanfiction?
Absolutely! A number of mods ( @scriptmedic for instance, or @scripttorture, just to name two I can recall off the top of my head) have already answered occasional questions related to fanfics/how to work with a canon that says X, Y or Z things. So long as it’s still 100% fiction as a work, then you’re generally good to go! :) Just keep in mind that:1.) if it’s a fandom or set of fandoms with Science Fiction or Fantasy elements, e.g. aliens or magic or whatnot, then Aunt Scripty’s Rule of Reality (aka “you break it, you bought it”), still applies - even if it’s canon’s fault in that case :Pand 2.) remember that you cannot assume everybody knows every fandom in and out - or that they have time to familiarize themselves with it either, even if it’s “just” one book or “just” a short film, or “super famous, everybody knows it”, etc; not everybody actually has seen, say, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, or else may not have seen it recently enough to be helpful. So, my rule of thumb (aside from keeping the Rule of Reality in mind), is to make sure not to include any irrelevant details - and that if a canonical detail is actually relevant to your question, you should definitely include it, but make any reference to it so clear that they can figure out what they need to know to answer your question...without having seen/read/heard the media in question. Also keep in mind that if you ask your question from a logged-in tumblr account instead of on Anon, then the mods can message you privately to ask clarifying questions if they need to; I’d advise any particularly complex (or multi-part, in the case of ScriptXblogs that accept those) questions be asked from a logged-in tumblr account just in case for that reason (I highlight multi-part ones too because sometimes tumblr eats asks and I recently did have a ScriptX mod need to ask me for one part of a multi-part ask I sent in to be resent since the middle one got eaten, so yeah, it’s a good backup plan!)Good luck with your fanfic! :)-Mod Vorpalgirl
13 notes
·
View notes
Note
Oh boy, I got another idea for a prompt, something I was discussing in the Discord: After the day Phil and Rita spent together and her waking him up, he's steadily getting better and better. But it's not totally linear. Though being good to people is making him feel good, it feels more like a distraction from the larger aching emptiness still inside him. Even as he finds new ways to fill his time, he still sometimes longs for an end in sight. One morning, in a moment of weakness, he makes (1/2)
one more attempt. However, he doesn’t actually die this time and wakes up in a hospital bed. For once, it hits him how real his body and what he’s been doing to it truly is. He’s pissed at himself for falling back into this and doubts if he’ll ever be able to just look on the bright side like Rita said to. To his surprise, before the day resets, his mom shows up at the hospital to see him, having urgently booked a flight over there. She’s pretty angry and scared and upset and gives him some harsh words, and she also loves him so, so much. They talk and she stays with him until it’s 6AM again.
why do you make me hurt him so. anyways this was a doozy but also weirdly fun to write mostly because i just got my EMT certification and am therefore allowed to throw in useless medical jargon
(again sorry mrs. connors you don’t deserve this)
send me fic prompts here!
CW for suicide mention/attempt
It’s impossible to put into words just how much Phil despises the inventor of the alarm clock.
“That’s right, woodchuck-chuckers, it’s-”
He slams his hand down onto the snooze button.
He’s never been a morning person.
Lately, his days look a little like this: sit up, stretch. Answer the phone on the first ring. Make sure to get the girl’s name- it’s Lisa- and wish her a good morning before heading out the door. Compliment Jonathan’s new sneakers, fix the coffee pot, meet up with Ned to chat about his family.
Then, get coffee for the crew and Rita, do the broadcast, change a flat tire, rescue a cat. Practice the piano, charm his way into staying a few extra hours.
Try to save the old man.
Fail to save the old man.
Drive Ralph and Gus back from the bar.
Wake up, do it all over again.
And, like, okay, it’s not all bad.
Phil’s a new man, with a new lease on life and a steadily improving rendition of Hot Cross Buns to prove it. The more time he spends here actually living, the more he grows to love each and every resident of Punxsutawney.
He has friends here, as bizarre as that sounds.
Even if those friends don’t, y'know, remember him.-Here’s the thing: sometimes, his life feels like the weird second act of some two-bit play. The fact that the curtain will never fall is irrelevant.
Helping people of this small, quiet town should be enough.
It is enough.
In terms of eternity, he’s won the fucking jackpot.-Still, it goes without saying that some days are easier than others.
“That’s right, woodchuck-chuckers, it’s-”
"That’s right, woodchuck-chuckers, it’s-”
That’s right, woodchuck-chuckers, it’s-”
He’s getting better.
He is.
It’s just, well. Sometimes.
Sometimes, he isn’t.
Here’s another thing: Phil spends the night before his seventeenth birthday locked in his parents’ bathroom with a bottle of his mom’s sleeping pills and a flask of gas station tequila he’d bribed off of his sister’s boyfriend a month earlier.
He’s sixteen years, three hundred sixty four days, twenty two hours, and seventeen minutes old.
People keep telling him that it’s going to get better, that he’ll be okay, that his problems are small and that everyone feels like this every once in a while.
Maybe they’re right, but Phil’s not stupid, either- he knows that people aren’t supposed to be this empty, knows that there’s something in him that’s always going to be small and broken and wrong.
He’s just so fucking tired.
"That’s right, woodchuck-chuckers, it’s-”
Twenty three years and a thousand endless days later, he barely thinks twice before swallowing the whole damn bottle.
Phil wakes up.
He wakes up.
He’s not in the bed and breakfast.
For one panicked moment, he thinks maybe-
He jack-knifes up, yanks the cannula out of his nose. “Excuse me!”
There’s a nurse passing by his room. She turns, looks at him with a special cocktail of muted pity and vague disgust, which Phil very politely ignores because he is a nice fucking person now, thank you very much.
“Sorry, but um,” he rasps, voice hoarse. It sort of tastes like something crawled into the back of his throat and died. “What’s today’s date?“
“February 2nd, dear. I’ll go tell the doctor that you’re up.”
February 2nd.
Right.
He wakes up again to a woman in a white coat standing at the foot of his bed, reading off of a clipboard.
“Phil Connors, 40, found unresponsive underneath a bridge near Patsy’s Park. Presented with mild hypothermia, bradycardia, hypotension, and significant respiratory depression as a result of an alcohol potentiated benzodiazepine overdose."
Phil just wants to go back to sleep.
“ER administered 0.8mg of Flumazenil intravenously upon admission and performed a gastric lavage shortly after. Vitals have been stable since seven this evening.”
“Huh,” he mutters. “Thought it’d been longer than that."
His doctor sighs, like she’s unimpressed or something, which strikes him as kind of rude.
Phil almost died.
God.
"Mr. Connors, you went outside half naked in the middle of snowstorm to chase 220 mg of clonazepam- that’s fifty five pills, by the way- with a bottle of raspberry vodka-”
“It was grape, actually-”
“Regardless,” she says and, great, her voice is all gentle now, like being nice is going to change anything. “I don’t think we need to pretend that this was accidental.”
“Shit, what gave it away?"
"Mr. Connors, was this your first attempt?”
And Phil-
Phil thinks of the toaster.
He thinks of suffocating, of bleeding out, of freezing to death, of walking into traffic, eyes shut, over and over and over again. He remembers the rope and the car battery and the fucking clock tower.
He thinks of the screwdriver- and, okay, that had been a little excessive, but whatever.
He feels sick.
"Yeah,” he says, slumping back against the pillows. “Yeah. First time.”
They keep him on mandatory 72 hour watch.
Not that it really matters, but.
Phil hates hospitals.
The phone rings when Phil’s on his seventh episode of Law and Order: SVU. He’s eaten, like, four things of green Jello and an entire bag of ice chips.
On screen, Ice-T is arresting a pedophile with a clown fetish.
He’s pretty sure his nurse is avoiding him.
This kind of feels like a new low.
“Mr. Connors? You have a visitor. Should I send her up?”
Phil absolutely does not want to see Rita right now, but also feels like he owes her for blowing off the broadcast and then literally almost dying.
Plus, he’s been trying to be less of an ass lately.
Really.
“Yeah, go ahead,” he says with a sigh. “Thank you.”
“Phil Connors, what the fuck.”
That’s not Rita.
He’s going to kill Rita.
“Mom? Jesus, who called you?”
“Is that how you greet me? We haven’t spoken in six months, and all I get is a Jesus-who-called-you?”
Joanne Connors is sixty four years old and 5'2”.
She carries herself the way some people carry machine guns.
“So, I’m in a hospital bed, don’t know if you noticed-"
"I noticed that you look like shit,” she says, scowling at the IV in Phil’s arm like it’s done something to personally offend her. “So, I’ll reiterate: what the fuck.”
Phil’s been nursing a low level migraine since he woke up and the shrillness of his mother’s voice adds a special new dimension to this whole experience.
“Thanks, mom,” he says with a sigh. “Did you really fly all the way out here from Cleveland?”
“No, I was in the area,” she says bitingly. “Of course I flew out here. Your producer called-”
“Associate producer, actually-” he says, just because he’s feeling a little bitter.
“-saying that you were in the hospital, that it looked bad, that they found these pills-”
“I’m fine, oh my god-”
“-so, yes, I did fly out here in the middle of a goddamn blizzard. That flight cost me five hundred dollars, by the way-”
“I never asked you to-”
“-and that doctor you have is a real piece of work-”
“Mom! You’re yelling."
She stops abruptly, looking stricken.
With horror, Phil realizes that her eyes are welling up.
He hates seeing his mom cry.
"You stupid, stupid boy,” she whispers. “You selfish, thoughtless child. What were you thinking?”
Phil can’t remember the last time his mother hugged him, but when she does, it feels like china, like glass, like something breakable and precious all at once.
“Mom, I-”
He doesn’t know what he wants to say.
There’s something ugly in his chest, some horrible emotion that makes his throat tight and his eyes burn. He can feel his mother’s tears seeping into the flimsy fabric of his hospital gown.
Phil grips her back like he’s drowning.
Eventually she pulls away, dabs at her eyes with a trembling hand.
“I’m so sorry,” she says. “Phil, I’m so sorry.”
“Um. Don’t be. This isn’t your fault,” he says thickly, scrubbing a hand across his face. “I just- uh. It’s been a long day.”
She chuckles weakly. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Phil doesn’t want to talk about it, and for once, she doesn’t push.
They just sit there instead, watching crappy crime procedurals and eating Jello. She tells him blatantly untrue stories about his childhood and pretends to be interested when he delivers a ten minute lecture on introductory quantum mechanics (his newest research project) and a half hour summary of the first four seasons of Game of Thrones (that he only watched for Rita).
At one point, she leans over to press a kiss to his forehead.
“I love you so much, Phil. So much.”
He closes his eyes.
Here’s a final thing: the day always resets in the time it takes him to blink.
In that brief moment or space between seeing and not-seeing, a cosmic rubber band yanks him backwards, pulls him taut through time. He knows it’s happening before it happens, even though he’s never actually seen the clock hit six.
"That’s right, woodchuck-chuckers, it’s-”
He slams a hand on the alarm.
It’s a new day.
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
I'm curious, what are you most attracted to in your partners? Is it similar traits in all of them or different ones like their sense of humour etc.? Sorry if this is a weird question but you've said before you like when people ask about them so I thought I would.
i was so excited to get this and then forgot to answer it :/ im an idiot
also gonna put this under a cut cause this is gonna be hella long cause im a fucking romantic dork
god though i could wax poetic. they’re all so lovely. like they have traits in common but also are unique. they all have brown eyes but theyre unique. like my husband has these eyes that remind me of warm chocolate. like a chocolate fountain kind of warm chocolate. dark and smooth but reflect the light. my wife’s have tinges of gold in the irises like flecks of gold leaf. and theres a dark ring around the pupil and one around the edge of the iris. theyre fucking magical
my boyfriend’s eyes are almost black and very deep. darker than the night sky and full of warmth and mischief. but its like theyre never ending, like he can see the innermost parts of whoever he’s looking at, like your soul is written on your forehead
lmao i love eyes can you tell
they all have these goddamned sinful eyelashes and my boyfriend’s are the longest. theyre as dark as his eyes and when he’s embarrassed, he gets all shy and they brush against his cheekbones like how dare you sir. how dare you be beautiful even when youre embarrassed. i look like a fucking tomato. rude
my husband’s look gold at the tips with the way the light catches them. like yknow how fake eyelashes have purple or red at the tips? like that except gold. like what??? the fuck??? rude
they all have very soft hair though my boyfriend’s is the longest. i cant wait to get with him irl again cause i wanna braid it. he’s got a bony face and it frames it so well. it’s so dark brown its almost black and it’s fun to see him try to sweep it out of his face cause he refuses to tie it up
my husband has these wild curls. we were looking up how to take care of them and that’s how we found out hes ethnically jewish. (which makes sense considering he’s german) they get so thick and heavy and they’re so soft and lovely to nap in. which i do on a semi regular basis. its so soft and lovely and i love when he grows it out. he just doesn’t look right with shorter hair. and he has this beard that grows funny, makes him look like jedidiah if yknow what i mean. he has such a baby face without it and he loves beard scritches it’s so cute how happy he gets
bluh im bouncing all over the place i just??? love them?????? so??????????? much???????????????? there’s so much to talk about!!!
so i guess i’ll just try and make a list of the things i love about them
husband:
cheerful, bubbly, very sunny personality. the human incarnation of a very excited dog (which can be A Lot sometimes)
extremely kind. would give you the shirt off his back. often laments that he stopped carrying cash years ago every time he sees somebody who could use some despite the fact that we’re always broke
a proper southern gentleman??? like im fat so im used to people not holding doors open for me fucking ever and being really goddamned rude in general. he ALWAYS holds doors open for me, opens the car door for me both to get in and out of the car, and gets pouty if i try and carry my own bag. it’s so sweet??? ive literally never had that before and even after three and a half years, it’s still so charming
he will do literally anything the fuck i ask. he’ll say no and im like oh ok and he’ll tease like “finally! i said no! and got away with it!” just to make me giggle and then does it anyway
on this note, he also always cooks as much as absolutely possible. even though his spine gives him problems, he does his best to keep me off my leg
he’s always so concerned about my well being. like if there’s not a disability cart at the front of a store, he makes me sit down while he goes and chases one down. if im stiffer than usual due to a cold front, he’ll remind me to take pain meds every four hours
he’s trying to learn japanese because he knows i dont have anybody to practice with here in the states. just for me and not any other reason
adores animals. even if he finds a dog annoying, he’ll still fawn over it and give it as many pets as it wants and won't ever snap at it even if anybody else would. he’s got these large hands and he’s kind of clumsy but this goes away around animals. he’s just so careful and gentle like i never ever worry
drags me out of my introverted cave because he knows social interaction is also good
has introduced me to some of my favorite books and video games because he’s verious conscious about what somebody likes and works to be like “hey, i think youd like this” and is almost always correct??? amazing
has 0 sense of style but doesnt mind somebody who knows better keeping him from absolute disaster
dude is a damned good cook. ive gained like at least a solid 25 pounds since he moved in and started cooking regularly
SPEAKING OF COOKING, we met on the tail end of my anorexia when i was doing my best to recover and still slipping up. he never made me feel bad about it but always encouraged me to eat. he eats SO much (think shaggy rogers) that i always felt comfortable eating in front of him. he always reminds me to eat and asks if ive eaten that day. honestly, i wouldnt be at this level of recovery if it hadnt been for him
is amazing at caling me down holy fuck
wife:
met her first, of the three of them, ironically so ive known her the longest but been with her the shortest. we dated a few months in hs but there was a chick she wanted to date like right there (and i was in japan) so i was like oh go for it. well, they broke up and we got back together and it’s been lovely ever since
she has this snorting laugh that’s adorable to listen to and it makes me feel more comfortable laughing (because i think i sound like a damn goose)
SHE HAS SO MANY GODDAMNED FRECKLES ON HER CUTE LITTLE FACE THEY’RE ADORABLE AND AMAZING AND VERY FUN TO KISS BECAUSE SHE SQUIRMS
she has a goddamned button nose for chrissakes
and these really wide hips too like i felt bad about my hips years ago cause theyre p wide but shes adorable and has wide hips too. she kinda made me love them (even though hers are better)
she’s genderfluid so i get to be gay all across the gender spectrum (im agender) and she’s so beautiful and handsome and v amazing
we were both homestuck fans at the height of it (like we still are) but her cosplays are just really well done??? shes so talented
OH MY GOD SHE MAKES THIE CHICKEN SOUP WITH HOMEMADE NOODLES I WOULD SLAP AN OLD LADY FOR
i dont know about the rest of her cooking (sadly) due to limited time around each other but i cant fucking wait tbh. her cookies kill me tho i love them
an amazing fashion sense. im a dumpster compared to her
an amazing writer and artist and i die every time she sends me something like my soul fucking ascends
she loved me BEFORE meds which i think is amazing. like what a lovely human being yknow? im a dick without meds and she loved me anyway and i love that about her
she speaks german and she makes it sound beautiful and i cry
her singing voice is so angelic and it kills me when she sings because everybody should hear this lovely person sing
she is hyper empathetic and it makes her so lovely and kind and wonderful. she completely understands how i feel about things and why even when no one else does and is very good at de-escalating me when im upset
we’ve just known each other for something like 7 years now? like i dated her post my abusive ex and she lit up my whole world with happiness at being treated well. then her ex was abusive and just... we get each other? in a way where her husband and my other two partners dont. its a pain the others dont understand so we go to each other during these times of pain in a way we cant with other people. it’s a very special connection
she’s a goddamned goof and i love it
my boyfriend:
motherfucker is so skinny which is the opposite of me and for some reason it works?? idk like it worries me but it’s also unique. love it
we dated almost my whole senior year of hs but he broke up with me because he thought he didnt have the same depth of emotion as i did for him and didnt want to “hold me back” from somebody better. like??? can you imagine?????? how fucking kind
recently started dating again like it took him fourish years for him to realize SHIT I MADE A MISTAKE so he’s a little slow but he’s so very thoughtful
he’s a goof in a different way than the other two. dad jokes. never ending fucking dad jokes. and goddamned puns. he never stops. dont tell him i love them because then he’ll never let me tease him again (i pretend like its The Worst)
so. fucking. dramatic. always flips his hair in the sassiest way possible. its super gay (he’s bi)
he doesnt do a whole lot of romance or saying WHY he feels certain ways. he feels like it cheapens the emotion. but, on the rare occassion he doesnt let this bother him, his poetry he sends me about how he feels makes me fucking cry. it’s so beautiful. i love it
he works watering at a plant nursery and complains about how the bees always use him as a landing strip. it’s adorable
he’s so resourceful?? this is best seen when playing minecraft cause he makes some damn cool structures in some really nice places. i love playing it with him just to see what he builds and how (especially since im a boring, lets make this house a square kinda ho)
he’s so camera shy??? no selfies no skype at all. he’s so bashful and it’s super cute i love it
got me into DnD like yes thank you for this enjoyable nerdery
the sole reason i passed math in hs. like not only is he smart but hes also really good at explaining things to people? definitely a talent for teaching people things
he was my best friend for the longest time like all three of them are my best friend but he was the only one who was my best friend FIRST and then romance blossomed
like im demiromantic so i need a strong connection to fall in love like it was a solid few months of dating my husband before i began to love him. i knew my wife for awhile and got close so same general story. but my boyfriend and i were more friends to lovers and i love that about him
his dad is half italian so he talks with his hands and it’s so overdramatic that he hits people with them on a semi regular basis just gesturing. he once accidentally knocked my glasses all the way across a room cause i had walked behind him and he made a sweeping gesture. hilarious
one time, i had food poisoning and the pain was so bad, i had to crawl under his kitchen table until my mother came to take me to the base clinic. he sat with my head in his lap and brushed my hair out of my face and cooed gently at me to try and soothe me. it was so sweet and ive never forgotten about it
motherfucker, with the help of my sister, dragged me into homestuck
he’s so damn shy about affection that holdling his hand in public makes him blush. it’s even worse if i steal a kiss. fucking adorable
things all three have in common that i love:
good in bed. it sounds silly but this is important to me because while i dont necessarily need sex to form a close relationship to fall in love, it definitely helps
idk how this happened, i really dont, but somehow everything i like lines up nicely with everything they like??? and if im not into something, they can find it with each other and vise versa. lmao wtf how did this happen to line up idk
kind, generous, sweet, and helpful although all three show these qualities in different ways despite having them in common
love me??? like honestly it sounds so silly that id love that they love me but im such a flawed, terrible human being that it leaves me in deep awe that not only does one person love me but three??? how??? amazing people to find something in me to love and to keep on loving despite all my problems. beautiful
creative, smart, and inventive each in their own right. they fucking astound me and take my breath away
beautiful cuddlers (not being sarcastic, promise)
husband is a goddamned heater but boyfriend is a living block of ice. then wife is one of those who’s in between but she steals your heat and then hours later gives it back which is the worse option of the three. like it starts out all nice but then you end up surprised hours later because youre fucking dying of heatstroke
so we have two heatstroke, drowning in sweat options and then losing your limbs. it makes trying to set the thermostat a fucking nightmare
they all love to read and honestly? i couldnt be with anyone who doesnt like a good book
can hold lively, in depth discussions about things
hubby tends to lean more towards “would it be immoral to fuck a succubus” type morality questions and superhero dissection type things
wife is all over the place and can carry on a conversation about goddamned teapots if she so chose. no idea how she does it
boyfriend likes to entertain more morbid thoughts and psychology but also likes to analyze things. like homestuck. we still fucking dissect homestuck
very intelligent. blows my dumb ass out of the water. beautiful
like gaming various amounts and various kinds of games. hubs likes any and all. boyfriend likes dnd, monster hunter, minecraft etc kinds of things, not really one for cards or board games. wife prefers to craft but will occasionally engage in board games or cards, less so in video games but tends to stick to pokemon. it’s nice
they’re all very physically beautiful though in different ways. hubby is barrel chested and german with very strong arms and big hands, a bright and sunny smile. wife is small and round with tiny, artist hands and a sweet, pixie face. boyfriend is thin, long, and gaunt with pale skin and dark hair (kind of like damien from dream daddy tbh)
i could go on but ive been making this post for like well over two hours now and i figured maybe i should stop. it’s long as hell and idk if anybody else would have read this whole thing but basically i fucking adore my partners??? so much??? and there are so many things about them to love???
i just love them so much and could go on and on for hours about why i love each of them and how lovely they are and how they make me feel
ksdjrfgh im so sorry this is so long theres just so much to talk about //sweats
#mod vann#long post#text heavy#like this is obscenely long lmao#im so sorry#Anonymous#anon#vannswers
7 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
angrydebater
i wanna live in a world of wine and vynils
karazorelgirlofsteel
Kara Zorel Matthews
briblanch1
No Comment Needed
ocehoarau
Feminism🌈
tiger-commissions
› consultations open ✥