#and of all the incidents that I got no closure on and never will get closure on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

punkshort · 4 months

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somewhere to run | 6. the confession

Pairing: sheriff!Joel x f!reader

Chapter Summary: Joel finds out the truth and convinces you to press charges.

Chapter Warnings: language, angst, PTSD type symptoms, mutual pining, domestic violence and SA (discussed after the fact), mental and physical abuse, detailed conversations about DV and SA (I didn't get too descriptive about the SA but I do use the R word a couple times) please let me know if I missed anything because there is a lot going on here

WC: 9K

A/N: as the title implies, we are going to get more details about what happened to reader in this one so once again, please heed the warnings and don't read if you think it will be triggering for you. I tried not to be too graphic.

Series Masterlist

Joel could hardly sleep that night. Instead of going to the station, he headed home so he could be with Sarah. She wondered why he got home so early from his date, but he dodged the question and the two of them worked together in silence - Sarah on her homework, Joel on his incident report. When she asked him why he was working from home, he just shook his head and said something came up. She was a smart girl. She knew something was bothering him, but she didn't push it and he was grateful.

He tossed and turned all night, his mind reeling while he looked at his phone every few minutes. He checked the volume, he made sure do not disturb was off, wondering if you would reach out, but you never did. Maybe it wasn't unusual for Patrick to not come home. Or maybe you heard what happened and you were mad at Joel. That worried him the most. The fear that his actions might have destroyed what fragile relationship he had left with you ate him up as he stared blankly at his ceiling.

Morning came too quickly and too slowly all at once. He rubbed his tired eyes as he dragged himself into the bathroom. When he leaned forward to turn the water on, he was met with a sharp pain in his chest. He glanced down, rubbing the area tenderly and realized a large bruise was forming from his fight the night before. He winced when he pressed on a particularly sensitive spot and tried his best to avoid the area during his shower.

After he dropped Sarah off at school, he headed into work, his heart beginning to beat faster the closer he got to the station. He had no doubt in his mind the whole town knew what happened last night, but he was too tired and too overwhelmed to care about their curious questions and senseless gossip.

When he walked in, he breezed right past Helen's desk with a curt nod, doing his best to avoid all eye contact until he was within the safety of his office. He booted up his ancient computer and waited, his thumb rubbing mindlessly against his lower lip as he stared out his window.

He would go to the diner today. He already decided he had to see you. The radio silence was killing him and he needed to make sure you were okay. He was embarrassed about the Facebook messages, even more so that you weren't the one to read them, but Patrick was right. They were not innocent. The words held more weight than they appeared, but he had to come to terms with the fact that you were not his, and then maybe with some closure, he would be able to move on.

The morning dragged on slowly. Bobby caught him at the coffee maker, already working on his third cup, depending solely on the caffeine to help keep him going.

"Hey, boss. You look like shit, but not as bad as him," Bobby said, pouring himself more coffee and jutting his chin to the back of the building where the holding cells were located.

"Feel like shit," Joel mumbled, leaning against the counter and taking a sip from his mug.

"Think you broke his nose," Bobby added, finally looking up at him. "Called the doc but turns out he's real busy this mornin', won't be able to come by til after hours. Such a damn shame," he said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Joel understood what he was saying without him having to say it. The people in this town looked out for one another and didn't take kindly to a stranger hurting one of their own. They were leaving Patrick to deal with his injuries longer than necessary.

"I don't think I broke anythin', he did that all on his own chargin' into that table," Joel said, but Bobby shook his head.

"Not the way he tells it," he replied with a chuckle. "You'd think you nearly killed him, the way he's been whinin' back there."

"No doubt lookin' for a lawsuit," Joel said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Don't worry, boss. You got a bar full'a witnesses. Hank already offered to give a statement and he was probably the only sober one there."

"Yeah, good. Thanks," Joel replied, pushing off the counter to head back to his office, trying to ignore the sideways glances of the men watching him from the bullpen. He shook his mouse and grimaced when he saw an email from the mayor looking to set up a meeting with him that week to discuss the incident. He knew he did nothing wrong, but the more attention this brought him, the worse he felt. Eventually, all of that talk would make its way back to you and Sarah, the truth most likely getting distorted along the way. He made a mental note to have a talk with his daughter that night as he slowly typed out a response to the mayor.

He swore he would try to get some actual work done, but he ended up spending more time staring out the window or at his phone, watching the minutes tick by til it was lunchtime and he could see you. Maybe he could pull you aside and talk to you in private. Maybe he could fix this.

The moment the clock read a reasonable hour, he jumped up from his seat and snatched his blazer from the coat hook, rolling his shoulders as he walked and put it on, then stifling a grunt when he felt a muscle in his chest pull from the effort.

He kept his head down as he walked down the street towards the diner, only glancing up once when he passed the pizza place. Your curtains were still drawn, no lights on that he could see, no sign of life.

A few people called out to him as he passed, but all he could muster was a tight smile and quick wave, not in the mood to get wrapped up into any conversations.

When he swung the door open, his eyes immediately went to the counter, searching you out but only finding Betty. Before he had a chance to look around the dining room, he heard María greet him.

"Where the hell were you last week?"

"I was here Friday," he muttered, looking around and avoiding her eyes.

"Yeah, with Nikki. Heard some stuff about that-"

"Is she here?" Joel asked, finally dragging his gaze to meet Maria's. She frowned and shook her head.

"No, she called in sick," Maria said, watching him carefully. "Joel, what's going on with you two? People are saying stuff about you and her husband, and-"

"She's sick?" Joel repeated, panic beginning to bubble to the surface. Maria nodded and shrugged.

"Yeah, people get sick, Joel. Hey! Where are you going?"

Joel didn't reply, he just hurried out the doors, nearly knocking down a middle aged couple as they were about to walk inside. He mumbled an apology as he jogged down the street towards your place.

Something was wrong.

Your eye cracked open when you heard the doorbell, the heavy thudding in your head making you immediately nauseous. You groaned and squeezed your eyes shut, rolling back under the covers. Maybe if you were quiet, Patrick would think you were at work and he would leave. But the bell kept ringing, the sound pinging around in your brain making the headache you already had so much worse.

When he began pounding on the door and shouting from the street, you dragged yourself out of bed and wrapped yourself in a thin robe. You knew your body couldn't take much more, but letting him in would be better than allowing him to make a scene in front of the whole town, so you forced your feet forward, still limping from the day before.

You had to pause in the doorway to catch your breath as you clutched your side, wincing in pain as you tried to gingerly walk down the steps, but you were taking too long and he just kept pounding and shouting and the all noise was making you sick.

"Stop," you called out weakly, not convinced he would even hear you, but miraculously he did because the noise finally ceased, and you sighed a small breath of relief.

Shakily, you reached out to grip the doorknob, your fingers fumbling with the locks until you finally managed to twist the brass handle, opening the door just a sliver, worried people walking by would see your face. Then, unexpectedly, you heard Joel's voice instead of Patrick's say your name softly and before you could peer around the door, you went to quickly shut it with no success. His hand gripped the door tightly, but you held firm, hiding behind the wood.

"You shouldn't be here," you told him, your voice weak and broken.

"I know you're mad at me but I gotta talk to you 'bout what happened," he said from the other side. "Please let me in."

Unbeknownst to you both, you were talking about two different things.

"If he finds you here... no, you have to leave," you said, pushing the door again, but he didn't budge.

"Patrick?" he questioned, sounding confused.

"Yes, Patrick," you rasped, getting dizzy from exerting so much energy in your weakened state. "Please just go."

"He's in jail, did - no one told you?" he asked quietly, trying to keep his voice down.

"Jail?" you repeated, and your grip on the door loosened in surprise. Joel felt it and took the opportunity to open it further. You stepped back quickly, wrapping the robe around you tighter and trying to fidget with your hair to hide the marks, but you knew it was pointless the moment you saw his face after closing the door behind him.

"What the fuck?" he whispered, his jaw dropping as his eyes slowly raked over your face, neck and arms. Your lip was swollen and cut, the scab breaking open and beginning to weep the more you spoke. Your cheekbone had a light purple bruise blooming under your skin, as did your jaw. There was a small gash near your hairline and what looked like scratch marks down your neck, leading past your collar bone and below your robe. When you shakily brought your hands up to cover your face in shame, he saw the dark bruises on your wrists.

"Oh my god," he whispered, unable to bring his voice any louder. When he reached out, you flinched away and he felt like he had been stabbed in the chest.

"You should go," you said quietly, your eyes pinned to the ground.

"I can't," he said in utter disbelief. "I can't... why didn't you call me?"

You looked like you were about to reply but decided against it and instead still kept your gaze averted.

"C'mon, lemme take you upstairs and get a look at you," he said, reaching out again, but you stumbled backwards, nearly falling onto the steps.

"Please don't touch me," you told him, holding up a hand, and he nodded.

"Okay, I won't touch you," he said, trying to remain calm while his heart was breaking. "Let's just go upstairs, alright?"

Reluctantly, you agreed and slowly ascended the steps, Joel following dutifully behind. He ushered you over to the couch, making sure you were seated before he went to your bathroom, rummaging around in your medicine cabinet while you sat there, your face buried in your palms and trying not to cry.

He came back into the living room, trying not to make you feel worse by hiding his reaction, but it was hard. He swallowed and dropped his eyes to the assortment of first aid items in his hands.

"Did you take anything for the pain?" he asked, his voice thick, his throat tight.

"Not today, no," you admitted softly. He nodded and shook out two white pills from a bottle and handed them to you before getting you some water. While safely in the kitchen where you couldn't see him, he let out a shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to calm himself down. How could this happen? How didn't he see it? He should have checked on you earlier. He never should have fucking let you leave with Patrick yesterday. Guilt racked his brain as he exhaled slowly and went back to you in the living room.

"Here," he said, handing you the bottle of water. You took it and popped the pills in your mouth, wincing as you swallowed them down.

He sat down on the couch next to you but was sure to give you your space as he picked up the antiseptic and some gauze.

"Will you let me?" he asked, holding up the items in his hand. You paused and looked at them, then him. His eyes were wide and soft and shiny with unshed tears. Slowly, you nodded and watched as he twisted off the cap and put some of the antiseptic on the gauze, first pressing it gently against the gash on your forehead, then making a fresh one for your lip.

At first, he dabbed at the cut gently, ghosting over your skin as if he were afraid. But then he brought his other hand up to caress your chin, his fingers feather-like and so careful that it made your eyes flutter shut, his touch unlike anything you were used to. When you finally opened your eyes again, his hands were gone and he was staring at you, the look in his eyes morphing from sadness to one you were much more familiar with.

"I'm gonna fuckin' kill him," he said menacingly, sending a shiver down your spine.

"Don't," you said, shaking your head, but his eyes darkened and his jaw was set.

"Why didn't you tell me, sweetheart? I could've done somethin'. I could've-"

"What? What could you have done, Joel? I've heard it all before," you told him, your lip trembling. "I've tried. Believe me, I've tried. And it never works. Nothing ever changes and it just gets worse."

Joel shook his head, still not understanding.

"I'm a cop, I coulda protected you. There's laws in place for this kinda thing."

"I've gone to the cops, Joel! More than once! And they all told me the same shit!" you exclaimed, getting worked up now. "Then I go home, and magically my statement goes missing, or my medical exam report, and I'm in worse shape than before because guess what? It makes him really fucking mad when his buddies on the force find out what he does to his wife at home."

Joel's lips parted as he watched your chest heave for breath, the energy quickly draining from your frail body.

"I... I'm so sorry," was all he could say. He couldn't blame you for not trusting anyone, especially him, now that he finally knew the truth. Everything was starting to make sense. His guilt was pulling him down and he felt like he was drowning in it. So many things he should have done. Should have seen. He should have helped you but instead he trotted Nikki in front of you to make you feel even worse.

"I can really help you, though. I ain't like that," he said, scooting a little closer to you.

"I've heard that before, too," you said sadly, dropping your gaze to the ground. "There's no getting out of this. I thought by running I could try to start over, but it's clear now he will never let me go." You closed your eyes as two tears fell down your cheeks. You wiped them away angrily, hating yourself for being so weak all the time.

Joel felt his chest squeeze, his heart breaking as he watched you fall apart. He needed to do something. He couldn't let you down. You needed to get out of this, or else it could cost you your life.

"Look at me," he said, waiting until your tears slowed and you forced your eyes open. "I promise I'll help you. I fuckin' promise you, alright? You ain't in Pennsylvania, I ain't his buddy, and I will do whatever I gotta do to keep you safe."

You searched his face, eyes all wide and your heart sliced open, lying on the table between you. You've been let down so many times, it was so hard to tell when anyone was being truthful anymore, but you couldn't deny what you felt for him. And what he felt for you. You knew something was there, something real and honest and pure. He wouldn't have any reason to lie to you at this point, so after a moment, you nodded.

"Okay," you whispered, and you could see the relief flood his face.

He sat back on the couch and rubbed his chin in thought, staring at the TV screen across from him that wasn't even on while the gears in his tired head worked overtime.

"Alright," he finally said, slapping his knees and standing up from the couch. "First things first: you gotta get to a doctor."

You immediately recoiled and shook your head.

"Absolutely not."

"I'm sorry, but you have to. I gotta..." he trailed off and chewed the inside of his cheek before pushing onward. "I gotta have a doctor take pictures."

Your face instantly crumpled and you buried your face in your hands once again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered for what felt like the hundredth time, getting down on one knee to be eye level with you. "But in order for this to work, they gotta record evidence, okay?"

"Joel, I can't," you whimpered, your face still covered, but he nodded and caressed the side of your head with his palm.

"Yes, you can. I'll be right there, okay? Unless you don't want me there, but I'll go with you if you want. Or I'll wait outside the door. Whatever you need, I'll do it. I'm gonna get you outta this."

You sniffled and finally dropped your hands to your lap, your gaze finding his.

"This is the last time, I promise you," he said, staring deep into your eyes. "I'll never let him near you again."

You thought his words over for a moment, the two of you sitting in silence, looking at the other. One trying to earn trust, the other trying to give it. Finally, you closed your eyes and nodded, giving your consent for what was to come.

"Okay," Joel said softly, dropping his hand from your face and standing up to pull out his phone.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm lookin' up the number of a doctor I trust. She's a woman, too. She's real nice and sensitive. I've used her for a couple cases in the past," he said, finding the number and dialing it, bringing the phone up to his ear. Cases. You couldn't help but feel like just another victim the way he said it, even though he didn't mean it that way. You listened as he spoke to her over the phone in a hushed tone, not giving too much of your information away but insisting it was an urgent matter. When he hung up, he turned to you with a weak smile.

"She can see you this afternoon."

"Oh," you said, glancing down at your appearance. You weren't expecting to leave the house that day and you weren't sure what to do.

"It's okay," he said, sitting down next to you again and resting his hand on your knee. "I'll take you through the backdoor of her office, no one'll see you. She'll be fast."

You nodded and looked up at him.

"Maybe I should shower," you said. He paused and shifted his gaze away.

"You, uh," he cleared his throat and rubbed his forehead with the pads of his fingers. He knew this would come up, one way or another. "I don't mean to get into too much detail, but if he..." Joel trailed off, finding it difficult to finish his sentence. "If he did more than hit you, you shouldn't shower," he finally choked out, unable to look you in the eye.

You froze, finally understanding what he meant. He kept his eyes fixed on the wall, his neck tensing, his nostrils flaring, as he waited for your response.

"I won't shower, then," you finally said, your voice strained.

His eyes slid shut and he dropped his chin to his chest. Oh, fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He pinched the bridge of his nose while he tried to steady his breathing.

"I'll just go change," you mumbled, standing up while he nodded, still trying to breathe.

He did his best to collect himself while you were out of the room, but he could feel himself spiraling. What was he doing when it happened? Was he watching a movie with Sarah? Was he eating dinner? Was he getting ready for his fucking date with Nikki?

He could feel the tears welling up but he quickly wiped them away. You needed him to be strong. You needed someone to help you, to take care of you. He couldn't afford to be weak right now. He would let himself feel it later, when he was all alone at home and Sarah was asleep. When nobody needed him and he could just let the guilt and shame and sorrow wash over him.

"Jesus, Joel," Carol muttered as she left the exam room. Joel jumped up from his seat, anxiously waiting for it to be over. He rubbed his palms against his pants, trying to wipe the sweat away. She sighed and looked up at him, taking off her glasses.

"So?"

"So?" she repeated, shaking her head. "So, I have your evidence."

Joel nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"She's been through a lot," Carol said softly, walking him down to her office for privacy. She closed the door but he didn't sit down.

"She's gonna be lookin' for me," he explained, jutting his thumb over his shoulder.

"I'll be quick," she said, sitting down at her desk with a sigh. "There was significant scarring and healed bones, detailing years of abuse, and definitely evidence of some most recently."

"Yeah, I imagine anyone can see that by just lookin' at her face," he replied, but she shook her head.

"I didn't mean her face."

Joel felt his breath get caught in his throat.

"Right," he finally said, his voice cracking.

"She said her husband is a cop?" Carol asked, flipping open a yellow file on her desk. Joel nodded.

"Got him in lockup right now for swingin' on me at Hank's," he explained.

Carol's eyes glanced up at his and she quirked an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I heard something about that," she said, lacing her fingers together and looking at him closely. "Can I give you some advice, Joel?"

He shifted his weight, not sure where she was going with it, but nodded anyway.

"Don't take her statement yourself. Have someone else do it, alright?"

"Why?" he asked quickly, and she gave him a knowing look.

"Because it'll be gruesome, and you're too involved."

Joel frowned.

"Too-"

"Don't care what you've got going on with her, I'm just giving you some friendly advice. Let someone else do it," she said, her eyes softening. "Besides, you got into it with her husband last night. You don't want some hot shot lawyer tossing out her testimony in court because he can link together some personal relationship between you two."

Joel considered her words for a moment and reluctantly nodded. She was right. He was having a hard time keeping things separate, and he appreciated the clarity. He couldn't fuck this up for you. Not now.

"Anythin' else?"

She leaned back in her chair and shook her head.

"You'll have my report in the morning," she said. He nodded, thanking her again for seeing you on such short notice before exiting the room. He turned the corner just as you were opening the exam room door clutching a worn hoodie around yourself and looking around frantically before your eyes fell on him and you visibly relaxed.

"Hey, sorry. You alright?" he asked, his hands gently coming up to your shoulders to guide you towards the back exit. You gulped and nodded.

"Wasn't so bad," you said.

"Good. You did the right thing," he said as he held open the door for you and led you back to his truck.

Once you were comfortably seated and Joel merged back into traffic, you shot him a sideways glance and asked him the question that had been weighing on your mind since he came over that morning.

"Joel?"

"Hm?" he said, twisting his head to the side to change lanes.

"Why is Patrick in jail?"

Joel's grip on the steering wheel tightened and there was an uncomfortable pause before he sighed.

"He came at me last night. We happened to both be at a bar at the same time, he was drunk and swung on me."

"What?!" you exclaimed, twisting around in your seat to look at him.

"I thought you knew since he didn't come home last night. Thought you were avoidin' me by callin' off work," he said, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.

"No, I had no idea. He hasn't been staying at my apartment, he has a motel room somewhere," you said, peering at his face, then dropping your gaze to his hands where you could see now his knuckles were a little red.

"Are you okay?" you asked after a beat, and he scoffed.

"Am I okay?" he repeated with a shake of his head. He looked at you in shock, the corner of his mouth turning up into a half smirk. "I'm fine. Can't believe you'd be worried 'bout me after what you went through."

"Of course I worry about you," you said softly, and he felt his heart melt. Why did you have to be so sweet? After everything you've been through, after everyone in your life has let you down, you were still so fucking sweet.

He wanted to say more. He wanted to say so much more, but he couldn't. He couldn't put that kind of stress on you. It would be selfish to tell you how much he thinks about you, how much he wished you were his, how he hasn't been able to get you out of his head since the moment he laid eyes on you. No, that would be wrong. It wasn't the right time, so he swallowed the words back from the tip of his tongue and focused on the road.

"What's next?" you asked him as he walked you up to your front door. Mercifully, the weather was threatening to downpour so the streets were quiet.

"Well, next you'll have to come down to the station and give your statement so we can formally press additional charges," he said, knowing you wouldn't want to hear it but he was surprised when you simply nodded your head.

"Okay. When?"

"Tomorrow?" he offered, and you nodded again as you unlocked your door.

"I'll have to call off work or come by after," you told him, stepping inside and turning to look at him.

"Listen, 'bout that," Joel began, and you frowned. "I gotta tell Tommy."

"No!" you cried, your eyes going wide with worry, but he shushed you and shook his head.

"I gotta tell him so he can keep an eye on things, alright? I won't be able to keep him in lockup for much longer and I can't be with you all the time to protect you, d'you understand?"

"Joel..." you whimpered, burying your face in your hands. He had to physically restrain himself from pulling you into his arms. He fucking hated seeing you like this.

"We can file a restraining order tomorrow but a piece of paper won't necessarily keep him away, and I can't risk it," Joel explained, his heart breaking for you.

"Okay," you sniffled, finally coming to terms with it. If you were going to do this, you had to trust him.

"Okay," Joel repeated. "Tommy served in the Army, he knows what he's doin', I promise. I'll tell him to keep it quiet, alright?"

"Yeah," you whispered, rubbing your nose with the back of your hand.

"And no more walkin' back from work in the dark. Take your car or get a ride. If I can, I'll drive you - " Joel pulled out his phone to look at his calendar, but you stopped him.

"I can manage, but thank you."

You looked at one another for a moment, both of you unsure what else to say. You were thankful for what he was doing but you weren't sure you had the words to properly express your gratitude. Everything you wanted to say felt so small, so insignificant. So instead of attempting to cobble together some sentence that wouldn't do your feelings justice, you stepped forward and wrapped your arms around his waist, burying your face against his warm chest. He quickly brought his arms up around you in return, gently placing his hands on your head and back as he held you carefully against him, as if he was worried you would break. He was absolutely certain you could feel how hard his heart was thumping in his chest, but he didn't care. He just wanted to feel you, to hold you, to keep you safe.

"It's gonna be okay," he told you, his voice heavy, and he felt you nod against him before pulling back, his chest suddenly feeling so empty.

"Thank you," you whispered, then spared him one more glance before heading inside, the door clicking shut softly behind you.

Later that evening, after you had forced yourself to eat some soup and drink some water, you were settling in on your couch when you heard a soft knock at your door. You muted your TV and strained your ears to listen. It didn't sound like a familiar knock, not one filled with anger or urgency. You glanced down at your phone, wondering if Joel had sent you a text that you missed, but nothing was there.

Hesitantly, you made your way down the steps. Your fingers brushed the doorknob, but before you opened it, you spoke through the door.

"Who's there?"

"It's me," Maria's voice drifted through the wood, and you breathed a sigh of relief. You unlocked the door and met her eyes. She tried to hold back the wince upon seeing your face, but you still caught it.

"Heard you might need some help," she said, holding up a small plastic bag. You frowned, confused, until she tilted it open for you to look inside. There, you found a variety of makeup bottles and powders in shades that looked pretty close to your skin tone.

You opened the door and let her in. You could tell you were able to take the stairs a little quicker than the morning, and you hoped that meant you were healing because you really couldn't afford to miss more time at work.

"Cute place," she said, glancing around before following you into your living room.

"Thanks," you murmured, turning the volume back on the TV as she settled into the couch next to you.

"I hope you don't mind," she said, motioning towards the bag. "Joel called and told Tommy what happened... I'm so sorry, I wish you would've called us, we could've helped you."

"Thanks," you said with a shrug. "I guess I'm just used to dealing with it on my own."

"Well if you're ever scared of staying alone, we have a spare bedroom, so please don't hesitate to ask."

You gave her a small smile, hoping she could tell how grateful you were. With the exception of one cousin back home, nobody had tried to stand up for you before. Not even your own parents. The whole concept was so foreign to you, you weren't sure how to respond.

Maria seemed to sense this and she changed the subject, leaning forward to sift through the contents of the drugstore bag, pulling out item after item and holding it up against your arm to decide which shade would work best. She spent the next hour helping you cover your cuts and bruises, and by the time you were done, you didn't look half bad.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as she packed up her things and shoved her sneakers back on.

"A little less sore," you admitted. "I should be able to work tomorrow."

"Why don't you take one more day? Joel said you're going down to the station tomorrow, it might take more out of you than you expect."

You thought it over for a moment before reluctantly agreeing. Money was a concern, but you could wait one more day, and maybe you could pick up an extra shift over the weekend.

You thanked her as she headed down the steps and she reminded you again to call her and Tommy if you ever needed anything, and you promised you would.

When you were finally on your own again, you sat in silence, thinking about these people who barely knew you, who you essentially lied to, banding together to help you out. It was unlike anything you were used to, and you were beginning to think you may have finally found your home.

The next morning, you paced around your living room, anxiously nibbling at your nails as you waited for Joel to ring the bell. He had insisted on picking you up. He said he could swing by after he dropped Sarah off at school, that it wouldn't be a problem and he passed by your apartment anyway. You didn't understand why he was so insistent: the walk was less than ten minutes, but you didn't feel like arguing.

You were checking your makeup job in the mirror for the fifth time when the bell rang. With a deep sigh, you pulled on your sneakers, slung your purse over your shoulder and headed down the steps. When you opened the door, he was standing with his back to you under a brown blazer and his arms crossed, trying to appear casual for anybody who might be walking by, but when he heard you step through the door he swiveled around quickly.

"Good morning," you said to him with a small smile after you were sure the door was locked tight.

"Mornin'. You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," you said as he led you to his truck parked a little ways down the street.

"You really didn't have to do this, you know," you said again, glancing around to see if anyone was watching.

"I know," was all he said before opening the passenger door for you and giving you a hand to step up into the cab.

The quick ride to the station was quiet, only the hum from his radio filling the air as your fingers fidgeted in your lap. When he parked the truck and you made a move to open the door, he held a hand out.

"Wait a minute, I gotta talk to you before we go in there."

You dropped your hand to your lap and looked at him expectantly.

"I can't take your statement today, I'm gonna have another officer do it," he said, his words rushed like he knew you wouldn't take the news well. And you didn't.

"What?!" you cried out softly, anxiety already creeping up and squeezing your chest.

"I'm sorry, I can't," he said, taking a deep breath and glancing out the windshield before looking back at you. "There's a conflict of interest. Patrick assaulted me, and if I go and take your statement, it won't look good to a judge."

"Oh my god," you mumbled, rubbing your eyes with the heels of your hands.

"It'll be okay. I'll be right there the whole time. Right on the other side of the glass, okay? I promise, I won't leave."

He watched you for a minute, waiting for you to say something, and when you didn't he began to question himself.

"Unless you don't want me to hear, I don't have to-"

"No, I'd prefer you be there," you said quickly.

He nodded and took a deep breath in.

"I asked a female officer to do it. Her name's Beth. She's real nice, she's dealt with... situations like this in the past."

"Okay," you said softly, reaching for the handle, but once again he stopped you.

"One more thing. I gotta cut him loose tomorrow."

You squeezed your eyes shut. You knew this would happen, but it didn't stop you from feeling the overwhelming sense of dread that crept up your spine.

"It'll be fine. I'll file the restraining order today. If he comes within fifty feet of you, he's goin' right back to jail, okay?" he said, his hand coming up to rest assuringly on your knee.

"Okay," you whispered, finally opening your eyes to look at him.

"You can do this. I know you can."

You had to hold back the tears that sprung up when his words hit your ears. Nobody has ever believed in you, listened to you, took care of you the way he did, and he hardly even knew you. People who have been in your life for years, your own family didn't encourage you the way Joel did. On one hand, it was depressing to realize it took this long for someone to give a shit, but on the other hand, you were so, so relieved someone finally did.

As Joel led you into the station, he kept his head held high, ignoring the glances shot your way and you did your best to do the same. You followed him towards the back, and you hesitated a brief moment before entering the interrogation room, pushing all the bad memories to the back of your mind and focusing on the present.

You needed to put an end to this, once and for all.

You were doing okay. It was half an hour into giving your statement to Beth, and Joel was right. She seemed very kind and patient, and you relaxed after speaking with her for just a few minutes. Or maybe it was because you knew Joel was just a few feet away, watching from the other side of the glass, just like he promised. Whatever it was, you were doing better than you expected.

You had gotten through the bullet points of your history with Patrick. You had detailed how you met after you graduated from high school, how he had just gotten back from basic training with the Marines and was applying to join the Philadelphia police department. You explained how at first, things were great. He was loving and kind, for the most part, but you had been inexperienced and didn't recognize the red flags when you saw them. Like when he got overly possessive at house parties, and especially so when he started drinking. At first, you had thought it was sweet, but then he started getting a little rough. You explained at the time, he would apologize the next day and promise not to do it again, but a few weeks later, he would inevitably go back on his word. The cycle repeated itself over and over for a year, until he proposed one night in front of your entire family, and you had felt pressured to say yes. You had hoped it was just nerves, that eventually you would be excited about marrying him, but it never came. He had rushed you into planning the ceremony and you were only engaged for a few short months. And again, you fooled yourself into thinking everything was just happening so fast, that it was so stressful planning a wedding and that one day, you would be happy.

You couldn't remember the argument that caused him to first hit you. To really hit you, enough to leave a nasty bruise, but you remembered the shock, and you remembered the pain and the fear. And once again, he had apologized the following day, and you forgave him. Because you were weak and scared and confused.

"Did anybody in your life notice?" Beth asked, her eyes filled with what appeared to be genuine concern.

"I hid it at first, but eventually, yes, people noticed," you admitted, fidgeting with the edge of your shirt.

"Did they offer to help you?"

"My cousin," you said, looking down at your hands. "She helped me... she helped me find a clinic so I wouldn't get pregnant."

"Did Patrick know you were on birth control?" Beth asked gently while scratching away with her pen on paper.

"No, I didn't think he would like that."

"Why not?"

"He's made comments to me in the past about wanting a big family, and I was afraid to tell him no. I was afraid he would hurt our children, too," you said, still staring down at your hands.

"Has he raped you?" Beth asked bluntly, and you visibly balked.

"Oh, um," you faltered, the word for whatever reason sending shockwaves through you. You knew the answer, but you just hated admitting it.

"Yes," you finally said, your voice cracking, so you cleared your throat and took a sip of water.

"I'm sorry," Beth said quietly, catching your gaze and giving you a sympathetic look. "I won't ask too much today, but you need to know if this goes to trial, a judge will ask for a lot more detail. You can get a lawyer and they will help walk you through it when the time comes." She reached out across the table to place her hand on top of yours, her thumb rubbing over your knuckles. You nodded, wordlessly telling her to keep going.

"When did it start?"

"Right after we got married, I think."

"How often?" she asked, pulling her hand back so she could focus on writing.

"A few times a week, I guess? I mean, I don't know what counts. A lot of the times I wouldn't be in the mood and he would pressure me, other times were more... deliberate." You swallowed and glanced quickly at the mirror behind Beth, suddenly regretting asking Joel to listen.

"Did you tell your parents?" Beth asked, glancing up at you.

"I told my mom, yes."

"And what did she say?"

"She told me it was a wife's duty to... be available to her husband. She didn't think it was rape." You spit the last word out like it was poison on your tongue. Beth winced but tried to hide it by looking down at her notes.

"And when would he hit you?"

"It varied. Most of the time it was when he was drunk or high. He promised me all the time he would get help, but he never stuck with it."

"Did you ever have to go to the hospital?"

"Yes. A few times. He's broken my arm twice, fractured my hip, and I've had a few concussions. On one occasion, he strangled me until I lost consciousness. I had to be admitted for a bruised trachea." You absentmindedly rubbed your arm and neck as you spoke, your fingers gliding over the old wounds.

"And you've gone to the police before?" she asked.

"Yes, a couple times, but -" you could feel your resolve breaking, and you bit your lower lip to keep it from trembling. "But he always did something to make it go away, and then he would get really mad. One time when I went to file a complaint, he had a cop friend of his lock me in a room just like this one for a whole day. To teach me a lesson." You twirled your finger around the sparse room, tears glistening in your eyes. "They didn't let me out, I couldn't use the bathroom, I didn't have anything to eat or drink. I was all alone."

You stopped talking and tucked your chin against your chest, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay. You wiped a shaky palm against your cheek, drying the tears that fell before you looked back up.

"There were times he would be gone for two or three days at a time and come back, all strung out and crazy... those were the times, the times I went to the police, that I ended up in the hospital. So I stopped asking cops for help."

She nodded as she wrote, giving you a minute to collect yourself before her next question. You glanced up at the mirror again and wondered what Joel was thinking. Did he leave? Or was he still there? You almost hoped he had left. You were feeling too vulnerable as it was, but the thought of him looking at you with pity after this was over made your stomach turn.

"I've done this before," you said suddenly, pulling her attention off the page. "And it always ends up the same. Please tell me this will be different."

"It will be different," she said immediately, her jaw set. She put her pen down on her pad and laced her fingers together. "I'm so sorry the justice system as failed you so tremendously, but we will do everything we can for you now that you're here."

You nodded and wiped more of your tears away before she handed you a box of tissues from a small cabinet in the corner of the room. Taking a deep, shaky breath, you met her gaze once again.

"What else?"

"I think that's enough for today," she said, flipping the pages closed on her legal pad. "We got your doctor's report this morning, and combined with this statement we will start the process of formally pressing charges. After that, if he pleads not guilty, it will go before a judge. But let's take it one step at a time, okay?"

"Okay," you said quietly, gathering your purse and following her out of the room. Your eyes immediately drifted around the hallway and then the bullpen, searching for Joel, but he was nowhere to be found. You frowned as Beth led you towards the front lobby, prepared to walk home, when you heard his voice call your name just as you were opening the door.

"I'll take you home," he said. His face looked hardened and his eyes looked distant.

"You don't have to," you began, but he just shook his head and gingerly cupped your elbow, directing you out the door and into the parking lot.

The ride back was silent. He didn't even have the radio on. You glanced out your window nervously, trying not to read too much into it, but when he dropped you off with barely a comforting word or any acknowledgement of what you confessed, you were convinced your greatest fear had come true. Now that he knew it all, now that he finally heard the truth, he couldn't look at you the same.

You were glad Maria had the foresight to tell you to stay home that day. You were mentally exhausted. Rehashing everything and then Joel's reaction put you in an awful mood. By 4pm, after lounging around watching mindless television and checking your phone constantly for any sign of life from Joel, you decided to just make yourself an early dinner, take a shower and then go to bed early.

As you were stepping out of the shower, the water finally turned off and all of the day's makeup covering your wounds down the drain, you heard your doorbell ringing incessantly. Repeatedly. Urgently.

A jolt of dread shot down your spine, but you remembered Joel said Patrick wouldn't be let out until tomorrow. But what if he got out early? What if he made a phone call and Joel was forced to release him?

Wrapped in a robe, your hair dripping down and soaking the thin material, you jogged to the living room and checked your phone. Surely, if Patrick was released, Joel would have warned you, but you didn't have any missed calls or texts. Then the pounding on the door started, making you jump out of your skin.

Slowly, you crept down the stairs, your hand gripping the doorknob tightly, your fingers hovering over the lock.

"Who is it?"

"It's me," you heard Joel's voice say from the other side, and your eyes widened in shock. You glanced down at your robe, little streaks and drops of wetness trailing down the shiny material.

"Uh, can you -"

"Please open up, people are startin' to look at me like I'm crazy."

With a sigh, you unlocked the door and stepped back, clutching your robe tightly against your chest. Joel squeezed inside and shut the door quickly behind him before turning around, his eyes raking quickly up and down your body before looking you in the eye.

"You were in the shower."

"Yeah," you said, glancing around anxiously before looking up the stairs. "Did you want to come up or something?" He just nodded slowly, his eyes flitting down once again as you led him up the steps.

"I got worried, I was ringin' the bell but I guess you couldn't hear it," he explained, taking off his shoes and shrugging off his blazer.

"What were you worried about? He's still in jail, right?" you asked, handing him some water before sitting down on the couch.

"Yeah, I just... I shouldn'tve left you alone earlier. I shoulda stayed." He stood there, a glass of water in his hand, the other rubbing over his mouth nervously.

You stared at one another for a moment, both trying to figure the other one out. He was breathing faster than normal, his chest rising and falling rapidly under his white button down shirt.

"Why are you here, Joel?" you finally asked, your heart starting to beat faster. "Because if it's out of pity, I don't want it."

"It's not -" he cut himself off and shifted his weight before setting the water down. "It's not pity." He took two steps and sunk down into your couch, his elbows on his knees as he stared at the floor, trying to figure out what to say.

"It's not fair," he finally said quietly. So quietly, you almost didn't hear him. "Everything that's happened. It's not fuckin' fair."

You scrunched your nose, confused, as you looked at him still staring down at the floor. You were about to open your mouth and ask him what he meant when he spoke again.

"I never shoulda let you leave with him that day. Somethin' felt off, I felt it in my gut-" he sat back to press his hand against his stomach for emphasis. "But I let you go. And he -"

He couldn't finish his sentence, his throat closing up as he fought to blink the tears away.

"It's not your fault, Joel," you told him, resting a hand on his broad shoulder but he stood up quickly to pace around the room.

"I'll never let it happen again," he muttered. "Never gonna let him near you again. I'll fuckin' kill him if I have to, he's never comin' here again." His voice was rising as he spoke, his breath coming in short stutters as he rubbed his forehead with the pads of his fingers, eyes wide and crazed as the panic seized him.

So it wasn't pity. It was guilt that brought him to you.

"Joel, calm down," you said, standing up to reach out to him, but he kept pacing.

"Oh fuck, I'm never gonna forgive myself," he whispered, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"You didn't do this to me, he did," you assured him, trying to get him to stop moving. "You're helping me, Joel. You're the only one who ever really tried to help me. There's nothing to forgive."

He finally paused and glanced at you, his breath a little shallow as the panic began to subside.

"I'm gonna get you outta this, I promise," he said, his voice sounding more steady.

"I know," you replied, nodding your head.

He took a deep breath in through his nose and tore his eyes away from you to glance at his watch.

"I better go," he said regrettably, looking back up at you again.

"Okay," you said, following him to the door and leaning against the wall as he put his shoes back on.

"D'you need anythin'? Did you eat? I can -"

"I ate, I'm fine," you told him with a small smile. "Thank you, though."

"Alright," he said after a moment, then forced himself to open the door. Before he stepped through, he looked back at you over his shoulder. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I'm working dinner tomorrow," you told him, suddenly feeling crestfallen you wouldn't see him for lunch.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he repeated, more firm this time. You slowly nodded and wrapped your arms around yourself, hoping he couldn't see through your robe.

You listened sadly as his heavy footsteps descended the stairs and the door shut softly behind him. You knew him well enough at this point that he would have turned the lock on the knob before he left but you still wanted to peek down the steps to check. Your eyes widened when, to your surprise, he was still standing there at the bottom of your stairs, his back leaning up against the door. His eyes flicked up to meet yours when he noticed movement, and you saw Adam’s apple bob in his throat before he spoke.

"I can't leave."

You looked at one another for a long moment, your heart slamming in your chest, knowing what this meant. You were sick and tired of always trying to do the right thing. Where did it get you? How could you even fool yourself into thinking you had any obligation to Patrick anymore? Joel knew everything now. He knew what he was doing, so you said the words that were on the tip of your tongue. The words that you knew would open the door for something both of you wanted so desperately, you could taste it.

"Then stay."

Taglist: @harriedandharassed@merz-8@sarap-77@nandan11@anoverwhelmingdin@fandomscollide@survivingandenduring@honeyedmiller@pedropascalsbbg@southernbe@pedrosfanny@gobaaby-blog-blog @eloquentdreamer @yomiyasxx @mrsparknuts@missladym1981@spacedoutdaydreamer @cosmic006533-blog @prettyinpunk85@maried01 @sunnyskyapplepie @sawymredfox@gobaaby-blog-blog@stevie75@mxtokko@sleepylunarwolf@lizzie-cakes@laurrrra@annieispunk@here4thedilfs @navystandardheatingoilcap @slugz-writes-shit@devilbat@ashleyfilm@scp116@tragerlover@iveseenstrangerthings50 @yvonneeeee @brittmb115@lulawantmula@abbysgirlll@ro-nahime-things

#joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel the last of us #joel miller smut #joel miller fluff #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller angst #joel miller series #joel miller x reader #sheriff!joel #STR fic #the last of us hbo #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #pedro pascal

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readychilledwine · 6 months

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Beauty in Pain Pt 2

Summary - Losing your wings may have been the best thing to ever happen to you

Warnings- mentions of trauma, mentions of therapy, blood, normal happy marriage discussions

A/N - I kept this short and sweet (1000 words) as a kind of like closure moment for those of us who wanted and needed it. ❤️ Also part 2 of the Death of Peace of Mind is still going up tonight. I just didn't want to give you all whiplash since that Eris is so different from drabble Eris 😂

You would never get used to waking up on your back. It was never possible before the incident. You had always slept on your stomach, Azriel's large wing over the top of your smaller ones, your hands and possibly a leg touching.

Since losing your wings 6 months ago, though, sleeping has changed significantly. It happened one night on a whim, Azriel laying between your legs on his tummy while you played with his hair. Between the warmth and weight of his body on yours, you had fallen asleep after he had. It had become almost nightly now, you falling asleep on your back, basking in the comfort his body weight brought you.

Azriel shifted above you, sensing you were awake through the bond, and snuggled in tighter. "5 more minutes," sleep laced his deep voice, causing it to be slightly graveled. "Then kisses."

"What if I want kisses now?" Azriel seemed to instantly perk up at the question, his eyes suddenly wide and alert.

He moved so he was directly above you, a scarred finger coming to trace your cheekbones. "Then who would I be to deny such a beautiful female her morning kisses?" Before he could act on the request, your bedroom door slammed open and a body dived into your bed, shaking it slightly.

Azriel glared towards your older brother, "What, Cassian?"

You felt Cassian wiggle a hand between you two, finding your waist and pulling you over to him. "You're late for training, she is late for her meeting with Madja."

Meeting was a polite way to put what you did once a week with the elderly healer. Once a week, you two sat with tea and talked. Sometimes it was about life, sometimes it was about what happened. Sometimes you just listened to her speak about healing, an unexpected career change you recently began going through.

Azriel buried his head into your shoulder, sighing deeply before getting up and grabbing clothing to change into. Cassian held you close, softly kissing your temple as he dug his body into your bed. "Sorry, Sissy. He's been late the past 5 days."

You didn't have the heart to tell Cassian why. Azriel was ready to settle down to start a family. He wanted late mornings in your bed, and early nights turned in before the sun had fully set. He wanted to know you were safe, no longer a target, and that he'd be with you at all times instead of away for weeks. Azriel was ready to start a family. Cassian had, now the proud dad of a newborn girl. Rhysand had the proud father of a tiny Illyrian male. Azriel was ready for the same joy they had, and you were ready for it, too.

"Maybe he needs a vacation," you replied. Cassian shrugged. "Or maybe he needed those morning kisses you interrupted."

You two heard Azriel yell in confirmation from the bathroom, and both chuckled. "Madja is waiting for you. I know you don't like these sessions, but they have been good for you."

You stared at him, blinking slowly. "I can't really get out of bed with you here."

"Why?"

"She's naked," Azriel appeared, wearing his training leathers. "Let's go, Cass." Cassian's face flushed before he got out of the bed. "I'll tell her you're on your way." Azriel leaned down, kissing you gently. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Rhys and Madja sat downstairs. They were sipping tea and whispering softly regarding your progress. "She's wonderful with children especially," the old healer said as she added another spoon of sugar into the tea. "They love her and respond to her very well."

Rhysand shifted. "That does not surprise me. Nyx and Emmy both love her. How is she mentally."

"I'm okay," you moved into the room and sat in the third chair. "No nightmares for the past 3 months." Rhys nodded, reaching for your hand. "Azriel and I talked about starting a family."

They both immediately straightened up, Madja's eyes beginning to sparkle in excitement. "That is a big step, y/n. How do you feel about that?"

You smiled. "We've both always wanted kids. It's just the natural progression at this point. I do not have to work, we technically own the cabin we'd move to outright, we are financially secure."

"But are you ready?" Rhys asked softly. "There's a 100% chance of wings, if it's a girl-"

"She would be loved regardless of what happened to me and protected by her father." You looked firmly at Rhys. "We want this. I want this."

He nodded, rested his forehead against your hand. "Then I want it for both of you as well. Nyx has loved being a big cousin."

Madja trailed back. "Do you not want to work, y/n?"

You shook your head. "I do until I am pregnant. Once I have a babe, though, I would like to enjoy a stay at home mother role."

Madja nodded, her smile still firm on her face. "I believe you are healthy enough to have a child. You have my approval as your healer."

Rhys looked towards the door to the training area and sighed. "Cassian is bleeding. They're on their way in."

Azriel walked in seconds later, a sly smile on his face as he supported Cassian. "Idiot zigged when he should have zagged. Flew straight into a kick." Cassian huffed out a laugh as you moved to allow him to take your spot and went to Azriel's side.

His arm wrapped around your waist, "You are happy."

You kissed his cheek, smiling as you rested your head on his shoulder. "Happiest I've been in a while."

Azriel leaned into you, whispering into your ear. "Did she approve?" You nodded, feeling his grin grow. "And Rhys?" You nodded again. "Then we should start trying. Now."

"Now?" You looked at him, eyes wide.

"Now," he confirmed before pulling you up the stairs, the two of you laughing with each step.

#acotar #acotar x reader #azriel acotar #azriel #azriel x reader

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obsessedfics · 10 months

Text

Remade Gojo x Reader (Mature/Explicit)

Gojo Satoru Fanfic

Rating: Mature (Explicit Sexual Scenes)

Word Count: 12k+

Summary: It has been 10 years since you left behind the world of being a sorcerer. You experienced too much hurt to ever want to step back foot in that world, even if it meant never getting to give your heart closure. You worked behind the shadows, executing curses to alleviate pressure on the students who attend Jujutsu High. One day on your way back from your mission, you meet an unexpected guest...

I wrote this because this man has been living rent-free in my head for the past couple of weeks and it needed to be done. I simply can't just write smut, I need substance. So here is my dirty little fic for ya'll. I hope you enjoy it!

Note: I posted this on Ao3. This is all my writing I promise, just posting of different platforms for more people to enjoy.

Faster… I have to run faster.

You ‘stumbled’ on a nest of cursed spirits. You were now running at a deadly pace to lure them into your trap – hundreds of cursed tools poised and ready to kill every last spirit.

Sweat ran down the length of your spine as you finally rounded the corner of the alley, immediately skidding on the concrete, using your cursed technique to shoot the weapons forward, meeting their destined targets.

Shrieks rang out through the alley from the dying spirits, blood staining the stones beneath their bodies.

Without looking back, you summon your own cursed spirit, Osu. You named it, even though you knew you shouldn’t. With the raise of your hand, Osu opened their mouth as you summoned the cursed weapons, funneling them one by one into Osu.

“Good work,” you smiled, affectionately patting the top of Osu’s gray leathery head. The spirit seemed to pur in response, leaning into the warmth of your hand.

With that, you sent the cursed spirit back to the in-between, which is what you called the shadows you send your shikigami to.

You sighed deeply.

It seems there are more and more cursed spirits these days. I left the sorcerers of Tokyo 10 years ago, but it seems I am still doing their dirty work.

With a look at your blood-stained clothes, you sigh once again as you make your way back to your apartment.

The citizens of Tokyo walk by, blissfully unaware of the danger that lurks in each of their mundane thoughts. Lights of neon billboards light the smoggy night air as cars speed past your relaxed figure.

You used to hate them. People who didn’t have a cursed technique or couldn’t sense cursed energy. For how weak and useless they were, how they contributed to the problems you had to clean up. The lives of friends that have been lost that you’ll never get back.

After the Star Plasma Vessel incident, you were convinced that you no longer wanted to be a sorcerer. You were on a mission in Nagasaki when it happened. You were ordered by the higher-ups to return immediately to protect the vessel, Riko Amanai.

As soon as you received the order you moved, getting to Tokyo in just 6 hours.

But you were too late.

Toji Fushiguro had successfully killed Riko Amanai, and disabled Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto. This was the first update you got. The second was when you arrived in Tokyo. Satoru killed Toji Fushiguro and secured Riko’s body.

You shivered as you entered your apartment. You remembered Satoru's face that day of Riko’s memorial service, cold and emotionless.

That day changed everything. For everyone…

“Hiiiikaaarrriiii~?” you called into the room, flipping on the light switch to find someone sitting on your couch.

“Yo,”

The familiar voice called and you stopped cold, keys falling out of your hands.

Your cat, Hikari, lay in his lap, soft belly up, purring at the sensation of his long fingers scratching her.

Traitor.

You quietly cursed your cat as you crossed your arms over your chest, pulling a cold mask over your shocked features.

“Satoru,” you say coldly narrowing your eyes at the man who you haven’t seen in 10 years. Instead of heavily tinted sunglasses he now wore a black band around his eyes. Now he dressed casually instead of his usual black uniform.

He’s not here on business.

His laugh sounded through the room, light and airy, but you knew it was fake. You had spent too much time with him, even now, you knew him like the back of your hand.

“I never thought you would be so cold towards me, y/n!” he smiled, the kind of smile he displayed when he wanted to be friendly, but knew he would win whatever argument he was in.

I’m annoyed.

“Satoru, I am no longer a sorcerer. I have no place in your world. I declared as much all those years ago. Leave.” your voice was so stern it made Hikari rise from her place in Satoru's lap and come caress your leg as if comforting you.

He paused for a moment, smile dropping from his face, as he studied you. He peeled off his blindfold, exposing those brilliant blue eyes. A stark contrast against his moon-pale skin and silver hair. The world seemed to rest in his eyes as they seemed to sparkle with life.

You didn’t falter. Instead, you held his piercing gaze, refusing to bow to the man you once loved hopelessly.

“I came to warn you. So before you try to kill me, hear me out.”

Your eye twitched at his words. A taunt mixed with sincerity. He had always been a cocky arrogant bastard, but his expression was so serious it scared you. So much so that you nodded and sat across from him.

“Nice place, by the way.” he offered and you scoffed in return, telling him with your eyes to get to the point.

He held up his hands, took a deep breath, then spoke.

“In the next few years, the Jujutsu world is going to change.”

If it were anyone else, you would’ve punched them for telling you bullshit that doesn’t involve you but… That serious expression didn’t leave his face.

“Which curse is it?” Satoru held no fear for himself, but rather for everyone around him, including civilians, ever since Riko.

“A first-year name Yuta Okkotsu showed up with a cursed sword imbedded with a high-class curse named Rika. Geto attacked him…”

Geto? I knew Suguru defected, but to attack a student? How far gone is he?

Satoru swallowed and then continued.

“Geto is dead… But y/n, this is just the beginning. There’s a group collecting Ryomen Sukunas fingers.”

You didn’t hide your shock.

“They’re trying to resurrect him…” you whispered, nearly to yourself but he heard you while nodding, confirming your suspicion.

“That’s why the curses are gathering in greater numbers, they’re feeding off the chaos. My guess is the group is trying to bring the glory days of the curses back. Which means –”

“They’re going to raise the number of sorcerers, but they can’t do that with you around.”

Your eyebrows knitted together.

What are you getting at, Satoru?

“Exactly, I don’t know how they plan to disable me. But when that happens, they’re going to need you y/n. Innocent lives will be lost if you don’t step in, but it has to be at the right moment. They’ve forgotten about you, about your skill how your strength was second to mine…”

You were already shaking your head. The thought of going back to that power-hungry world. That bloody world…

“Y/n think–”

“No,” you said breathlessly, Satoru's emotionless face of that day flashing in your mind. How he was a hollow shell for the remainder of that final year.

It broke something inside of you. You had seen so many deaths, but to see him, the man who smiled so carefree and bright be rendered to… That? Sure, he gained a deeper connection to his power, but at what cost?

“Y/n,” he said your name, voice softer as he reached across the coffee table, his warm fingers brushing yours.

“No, Satoru. You don’t know what you’re asking me to do.”

How could he? Your feelings were one-sided, to begin with.

Back then, you watched as girls flirted with him as he flirted back. Yet you were always there. You always listened to him when he needed someone to talk to about his scars, about the shadows that chased his light. He did the same for you, but perhaps it was out of pity.

You pulled your hand out of his touch, foreign and familiar. Even after all this time, your skin still missed him.

“You’re asking me to step back into the world I hate the most, but only after something horrible happens to you…?” your eyes stung as you finally met his gaze. His features were blurry, but you could see his fair eyebrows knitted together as he bit his inner cheek.

“I won’t die,” he promised, voice soft and vulnerable, a voice that you had only heard once before.

Your lip quivered.

“There are things worse than death, Satoru Gojo. I rather die, than watch you suffer again,” you admitted.

His eyes widened at your words, shock plain on his face but you didn’t care, you pressed on.

“I will not go through that again… When I got that call saying you had been disabled by Toji Fushiguro I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It was as if all the air in the world had evaporated. I traveled through the in-between to get to you. Only to find you…” your words died in your throat as salty tears fell from your eyes.

Shaking your head, you ran your hands down your thighs to ground yourself to reality.

—

Satoru was wordless. Which was rare for him.

He hadn’t stopped looking for y/n for the past 10 years.

When she suddenly announced her separation he felt lost. He had gained a lot, but he lost everything important to him. She had been there for him since the beginning, and he for her.

He recalled the first time he had ever seen her cry. There was a rumor that she had no feelings, that the strong female sorcerer was all ice with no heart. But when he saw her high up in a tree, knees tucked into her chest, rocking slightly, he realized they couldn’t be more wrong.

It’s not that she didn’t feel, it’s that she felt too much, lost too much to the point where she didn’t want to let anyone close to her fragile heart.

Satoru stared at y/n’s current crying frame, he watched as she tried to steel herself. Hands rubbing her thighs to try and soothe her pain, to ground herself. She chewed on her bottom lip as she concentrated between his eyebrows, unable to truly meet his eyes.

Memories of their past flashed in his mind. Particularly the night he opened up to her about growing up in the Gojo clan, and the things he had done leading up to attending Jujutsu High.

They were stuck on a mission together, the atmosphere was awkward and they only talked when discussing how to swiftly dispose of the lower-level cursed spirit. Satoru was particularly annoyed because he thought he was given such a remedial task, one that was without Suguru which at that point the two of them had become inseparable.

“Y/n, are you always so serious?” Satoru drew out his voice while leaning over her shoulder, lazily craning his neck to meet her eyes over his glasses.

She simply waved him off with an elegant hand while rolling her eyes.

“The sooner we finish this mission the sooner I can be done with you.” She sighed, popping a piece of gum in her mouth as she pressed on.

What is wrong with this girl? Usually, women kill to get a chance to be alone with me.

“Hey hey hey aren’t you being a little too mean? After all, you should feel grateful that I am here.” he boasted, stuffing his hands into his pockets, matching her brisk pace easily thanks to his long legs.

Her features further dropped into annoyance as she eyed him sidelong with one eyebrow raised, as if in a warning.

“I have no idea why we got put together. Anyways Gojo, we’re going to be entering the area where the cursed spirit was sighted. Even though it’s reported as a low-level curse we should still be cautious.” the woman scolded as she pushed a piece of her long hair behind her ear. For some reason, that act alone distracted him.

“I’m not worried since nothing can touch me. Unless I want it to of course.” he shrugged and she rolled her eyes again.

“Yes while you may feel invincible, I am not blessed with your lovely Infinity skill. So I will continue being careful.” another bemused sigh escaped her full lips.

Why am I so distracted right now? Is it because I know she’s putting up a front?

He was lost in thought for a while till her voice called out into the silence.

“This should be it. You remember the plan, right?” her eyes meet his over her shoulder, a coy smile tugging on her lips.

“Of course.” he returned her smile.

—

“Well, that was easy.” Satoru whistled looking at the pathetic excuse for a curse. Its corpse lay motionless on the floor of the abandoned skyscraper.

“Too easy…” y/n said, voice wary.

She crouched down in front of the corpse, face emotionless, eyes dissecting every aspect of the curse trying to find its secrets.

Scary. She’s too smart.

Her plan went effortlessly. She had him drop his technique entirely so they couldn’t be sensed. She went in alone since the curse was reported to only attack young women. He was to tail her, concealing his existence until the curse showed itself. Once it did, all he had to do was attack it with his cursed energy.

“Such a weak curse.” Satoru clicked his tongue, hands returning to his pockets.

Why did we even get put on this mission? Y/n maybe I could see, but me? Why couldn’t I go on the mission with Suguru? I can’t–

“GOJO MOVE!”

At that exact moment, he felt a huge amount of cursed energy that he didn’t sense earlier, but he was too late.

Y/n had jumped in front of his body, shielding him from the attack.

Y/n looked at Satoru with wide eyes as the cursed spirit stabbed through her abdomen. Blood spilled from the wound and her mouth as the spirit pulled back.

In a second he killed it, but it didn’t matter.

Y/n fell to the ground, hand tightly pressed to her wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

Panic bubbled in his chest as he quickly ran to her side, taking off his jacket and shirt, beginning to rip the fabric into ribbons.

“What’re you?” she asked weakly, color already draining from her face.

“Don’t talk, move your hand.” she hesitated, but she moved her trembling hand from the wound.

Shit, I need to stop the bleeding. I could use the Reversed Curse– no, too risky. I haven’t practiced enough.

He moved her jacket and shirt up, exposing her bright red stomach. Taking a deep breath in, he begins stuffing her wound.

Y/n screams out in pain as Satoru stuffs the hole, packing it as tightly as he can and he does the same to her back. Despite the pain she was in, she forced her body to be still for him.

“Almost done,” he promised to her, she only nodded through gritted teeth. Her skin was clammy and cool to the touch.

She’s going into shock.

Hastily he secures the packed wound with the remainder of his t-shirt and then wraps her in his jacket. He watched her face for a minute, her breathing is ragged and her eyes are tightly shut as if she was trying to block out the world.

“I’m going to move us now, can you hold onto me?” she nodded weakly as she reached up wrapping her arms around his neck.

Her blood smeared all over Satoru’s bare chest and stomach as he stood. He pulled her higher to have her head rest in the crook of his neck to try and return some warmth to her skin.

I can’t take her to a hospital right now… There will be too much of a commotion if I do that. Better if I take her to a hotel for the evening and call someone in secretly to treat her.

With one last look down at her he prayed for the first time in years that she survived the night.

—

“I’m happy you have half a brain Gojo.” Shoko chided as she finished healing Y/n’s wound.

They both had been dressed in fresh clothes thanks to Shoko.

“If you didn’t act when you did, she would have died because you’re trash,” she added, pulling out a cigarette and making her way to the balcony. He followed behind wordlessly, lost too much in his thoughts to truly take in her words.

Shoko was always with Suguru and Satoru, and she is skilled with her Reversed Curse Technique. Thankfully she answered when he called, if she didn’t he might’ve had to do it himself…

“Thank you for coming,” he said in reply, and she eyed him while she lit her cigarette, taking a long drag of smoke.

“Where’s Suguru?” she asked instead of responding to his thanks.

“Another mission. They stuck the two of us together. It was supposed to be just one curse. But…” his words died.

It’s my fault. I got distracted. I let her get hurt.

Shoko sighed, reading his mood, and took another pull of her cigarette.

“She’s alive, that’s all that matters.” she flicked the ash over the edge of the balcony.

“I won’t tell the higher-ups, I’ll keep this a secret. But learn from this and be more careful in the future. Not everyone can protect themselves as you can.” she took another long pull, blew out the smoke, and put out the bud.

“I am leaving, call me if anything changes.”

He watched as Shoko left and then positioned himself on the chair in front of the bed that housed y/n.

The pain was gone from her features but she was still far too pale. The blood that colored her cheeks was gone. The tips of her fingers felt impossibly cold. He had to keep watching the rise and fall of her chest to remind himself she was still alive.

Hours passed like that, guilt wracking his mind as he watched her sleep, then she woke up.

“Gojo?” she called weakly, hand immediately going to her once wounded abdomen.

Her face twisted in confusion as she continuously touched the skin there, feeling for the hole.

“Shoko healed you.”

His voice was soft and raw, he had no masks to put on today. He couldn’t, not after what she did for him.

She nodded once, wincing as she positioned herself on her side so she was facing him.

“Why do you look like that?” she asked while running a hand through her messy hair.

“Like what?” he knit his eyebrows together.

Why is she already picking a fight?

“Like a wounded puppy.” with a huff, she flicked his forehead. Of course, he had let her, but it still left him surprised.

“See, that’s better. That face suits you way more.” she smiled softly with cracked lips.

“What face?” some life returned to his voice.

“The face of a surprised idiot.” nodding as if proud of herself, she burrowed further into the blanket.

“Why’d you do it…?”

“Hm?”

“Why’d you jump in front of me, y/n? You know about my skills and yet you…” he shook his head, unable to finish the sentence.

She seemed to ponder the question for a moment, eyes on the ceiling.

Clearing her throat she spoke.

“You may not have noticed it, but you let your technique drop. I felt the difference in the energy. As soon as I noticed the spirit's attack there was no way I could counter-attack in time to save you. So if you look at the scales, and ask what life holds more value, it’s yours. So I choose you.” she said it so matter-of-factly, the blatant disregard for her own life, saying it held less value than his own.

“What?”

He couldn’t wrap his head around it. From a young age, people have tried to kill him. He was positive even the old higher-ups wanted him dead but didn’t want to face the consequences of killing the head of the Gojo Clan. Yet here this girl, who he barely knows, is saying that his life is more important to her than her own.

She smiled as if reading his thoughts.

“Although I hate to admit it, you have the power to change this world. I do not. If I could save the world's savior, then maybe my tarnished soul could be spared.” her voice was sweet like honey, but her words struck him deeply.

“Tarnished soul?” he repeated her words like an echo.

She smiled again, though this time sadness traced her features, settling into her eyes.

“You saved my life, so I suppose I could share some of my demons.” she ran her hands along the blanket.

“I discovered my curse technique when I was young. Being able to sense cursed energy and summon Shikigami came very easily to me…”

She considered something for a moment, then continued.

“You see, my home life wasn’t what you would call a ‘Happy Family’. So I was glad to have a distraction.” she paused, again running her hands along the blanket as if she was soothing herself.

“One day I came home early from school with my report card. I had gotten straight A’s so I wanted to show my parents. I entered our small home only to find my father stabbing my mother… Out of fear and rage, I attacked and killed him. It was also then that I discovered I possessed the Reversed Curse Technique. I tried for hours to heal my dead mother to no avail. Her wounds closed, but her heart didn’t beat. The police found the scene two days later, with me hugging my mother's body…” By the time she finished, her words were barely a whisper.

Silence fell in the room, only the sound of their breaths filled the space. For some time, neither of them spoke.

“I have never told anyone that.” she professed, voice shaky and unsure.

Not knowing what to say, he reached for her hand. She accepted his touch, and he enclosed her fingers with his, her hand feeling impossibly small.

“Your soul isn’t tarnished.”

She met his eyes, hand trembling in his. Something about her expression was so raw, so vulnerable that he felt that he needed to wrap his arms around her and protect her from the world that had taken so much.

“I killed my blood,” she shakily whispered, tears pricking her eyes. He soothed her by rubbing soft circles into her palm.

“So have I…”

—

“I can’t promise you anything, y/n,” he answered honestly, recalling the pain she shared with him. Knowing full well how much of him she held in her heart, and how much of her he held in his…

She ran her hands down her face, nails lightly digging into her skin.

He read the reports of her movements when Mei had found her. She did networking remotely for a hospital but still went out of her way to hunt down cursed spirits. Going after nests or high-grade curses, to help alleviate the risks for students training at Jujutsu High.

When he got the reports months ago, he almost dropped everything to see her then. But everything got so busy with Yuta.

Now that he’s here, all the things he wanted to say died in his throat. The sight of her shaking and crying, the tears he only ever got to see, made his knees weak and his resolve crumble.

Women were always interested in him, some he entertained, but none he cared for. Not in the way he cared for Y/n… No one compared.

“You’re those kids' best hope if I get taken out of the fight,” he said honestly.

He thought of his new dream, and re-strengthened his mind, trying not to let his resurfaced feelings sway him.

Her eyes met his, and his breath caught in his throat.

Time had been kind, and her beauty only grew. Eyes mature and loving, face kind and warm. So different from how she looked as a sorcerer.

She took him in for a moment, for the first time since she arrived she truly looked at him, she saw him.

He felt naked under her gaze, he had never been self-conscious, but with her, he felt nervous. Fearful he wasn’t enough, that he wouldn’t ever be enough.

“You’re playing dirty, Satoru Gojo, by bringing the next generation into this.” he watched as she sighed, shoulders curving inwards as she leaned back against her chair. Her blood-stained clothes clung to her skin.

“Then you’re agreeing?” she nodded, stress already lining her face.

Before he could talk, she spoke.

“Now if this concludes your business, leave.” the edge from earlier returned to her voice. It threw him for a loop.

“You don’t want to talk?” his voice, though sounding normal to anyone else, sounded pathetic to his ears.

She eyed him again, eyelashes wet from her tears.

Beautiful.

“Satoru… What do you want from me?”

—

Your heart was in your throat.

You agreed to sign yourself back up for pain because Satoru was right. If he was taken out of the fight, those kids will need someone to help them, your personal feelings aside.

But how could it not be personal? When the man you loved, who you still love, sat across from you with an open unguarded expression. Practically begging you to continue talking to him.

You spent years trying to forget him. The memories you both shared, the internal wounds you healed together. You tried finding your peace in others, but it was futile. The sight of his smiling face still shined brightly behind your eyes. The stories of his achievements chased your ears.

You sighed, running your hands through your hair whilst awaiting his answer.

“Do you still feel the same about me, y/n?”

Bastard. Answering my question with a question.

“Does it matter? You never saw me in that light, to begin with,” you answered him bitterly, some of your anger returning to the surface.

Genuine shock filled his beautiful eyes.

“I. Why do you think that?” he cocked his head to the side as if studying you.

“It was obvious, Satoru. In many people's eyes, you are a God. Women practically threw themselves at you, and you greedily took in all their advances. I watched it happen time and time again. If you harbored feelings for me, you wouldn’t have acted that way.”

The truth hung between you. You ran your hands along your thighs to calm yourself, not wanting to cry for a second time this evening.

You made to stand, but Satoru caught your wrist, halting you in place.

“I took you for granted,” he admitted eyes on the floor.

The warmth of his hand spread to your flesh. Your skin sang at the feeling, your pores drank him in, missing him as much as your heart did.

You stayed silent. The air between you two was impossibly heavy as your heart pounding against your chest, like a bird trying to escape its cage.

“I won’t apologize with my words…” he stood, now towering over you, even with the coffee table separating your bodies.

Those beautiful, intense eyes pinned you in place. You now truly looked at him for the second time this evening.

He grew into his features more, now even more beautiful than he was when you were a teen. He was unreal, like that of a painting. All silver as if he was pure moonlight with eyes like the clearest sapphires. You resisted the urge to take his face in your hands, to greedily bask in his warmth – in his scent.

Satoru walked around the table as he gently let go of your wrist. Instead, he place both his hands on your cheeks, cupping your face as his long fingers tangled themselves in your hair. Despite yourself, you leaned into his touch, closing your eyes.

I’m still so weak to you.

“Will you let me make it up to you?” his soft voice whispered, thumbs rubbing your cheeks.

You trembled at his touch. He was close enough that you could smell him, the smell of fresh summer rain and jasmine. Beautiful and alluring – it was home. He was home…

Satoru crouched down now, his face just mere inches from your own. Your breaths mixed as he stared at you so sincerely it made your chest hurt.

You gently grabbed his wrists.

“I can’t lose you…” the words came out of your throat in a croak. The thought of him being hurt or worse frightened you. It made your blood run cold and your stomach churn.

“I am yours, y/n.”

Not a promise that nothing will happen to him, but a promise of his heart, and that it belongs to you.

You nearly wept, the words you thought you would never hear now filled your ears. You almost thought this was some twisted dream, and that at any moment reality would slam into you the way it always has.

“And I am yours, I have been since that day you saw me crying in that tree.” a confession of your heart fell from your lips. One that you held so close and suppressed like a child's dream thinking it will never come true.

He pressed his lips to yours. A soft sweet pressure that made your stomach flutter. You fit so perfectly together that it was dizzying. His lips moved smoothly and passionately against your own, tongue licking your bottom lip asking for permission which you granted.

The taste of him caressed your tongue, the smell of him filled your senses, the press of his warm body against your own it all made your toes curl. Your tongues danced as your fingers found their way to his silken hair, tugging slightly, pulling him deeper into the kiss.

You had been kissed before, but nothing compared to this. The way his tongue teased yours, the loving press of his soft lips, and the reassuring pressure of his hands against your face; made your knees weak. There was a painful desperation between you two. The unspoken fear that you’ll never see each other again.

His hands slid from your face to your waist, pulling you closer to his body. You gasped at the contact, heat spreading from your face to your chest at the feeling of his firm muscles against your torso.

You were so lost in the feeling of him you forgot you had to breathe, so he pulled away first– a string of saliva connecting your swollen lips as he rested his forehead against yours.

You both breathed heavily, eyes hooded and dark with desire.

He caressed your face as if he was trying to remember every curve, dip, and pore that resided there.

“Y/n,” he whispered breathlessly, desperation coating his voice.

“Satoru,” you answered, just as winded as him.

“Don’t run away again…”

Your eyes widened.

He pulled his face back, allowing himself a full view of your features as he lovingly massaged your scalp.

“I understand why you left. But you didn’t even say goodbye.”

Blue eyes searched yours as if trying to find answers to the questions he’s had for years. Your mind went blank as your blood still sang with praise from the press of his lips, already missing his warmth.

You overlapped his large hands with your small ones, gently rubbing the sides of his palms.

“I won’t run,” you promised.

He didn’t move, his eyes still searched yours indefinitely. Almost as if he was holding his breath, waiting for you to change your mind.

“I won’t run, I'll fight for you, and for our future.” those words removed the invisible chain that shackled your heart. For so long, you held everyone at arm's length, but where did it get you? You were tired of pushing away your feelings.

A smile slowly spread across Satorus's face. It was a dazzlingly unpracticed smile, a real smile. One that was only for you.

“Our future?” he repeated while humming as if thinking your words over.

You bit your bottom lip in embarrassment as the blush on your cheeks deepened. You got carried away by the moment and perhaps spoke too honestly.

“I think I like the sound of that,” he murmured then began planting feather-soft kisses on your cheek.

You bit back your giggle as he continued trailing kisses to your nose, forehead, jawline, then the corner of your mouth.

“Satoru” you called softly, running your hands down the length of his strong arms, hands settling on his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Hm?” he purred innocently into your skin, lips ghosting over the expanse of your neck. The heat from earlier returned to your bones at his touch.

“I am exhausted,” you admitted.

You had spent all day tracking the reported nest. You then used up a fair amount of your cursed energy for the attack. On top of that you just went through a whirlwind of emotions you still have yet to process.

He pulls his face from your neck, eyes now filled with concern as he traces your body for any sign of injury.

You half sigh half laugh as you take his face in your hands, shaking his head slightly.

“I.Am.Fine.” you drag out each word from your lips, tilting his head at each word as if it would make it reach his brain.

You watch as his eyes gloss over as if missing your point entirely.

You sigh, gently stepping out of the warmth of his embrace and gesture to your still blood-soaked body.

“I need a shower, hot tea, and decompression time. It’s been a long day with surprises.” you smooth your hands over your face as the weight of the day settles over you, the excitement of early slowly dissipating.

A smirk pulled on the corner of Satoru’s full lips as a mischievous look filled his eyes.

“It’s quite late, isn’t it?” he mused, playfulness in his tone as he rubbed his chin.

“Yes, it is,” you confirmed slowly, not quite catching what he was planning.

“Well, it would be troublesome for me to leave at this hour, due to the trains stopping for the night. I mean, you know how far Jujutsu High is.”

Your eye twitched. He wasn’t wrong, of course, but what he was implying–

“So I guess I have to stay the night!” he said cheerily, extending his arms over his head like a child spinning in a circle.

I only have one bed… The loveseat is too small for his stupidly long figure.

Heat rushes to your cheeks as you briskly brush past him.

“I am sure you make enough money, go find a hotel,” you say hurriedly, making your way over to your bathroom.

You hear his light footsteps right behind you, entering your bathroom with you.

“Awww, why are you being like that? After we just kissed too?” though he pursed his lips to a pout, his eyes were full of humor.

He’s enjoying this too much.

“Are you saying because we kissed you have earned yourself the right to be in my bed?” you crossed your arms over your chest, making sure to push your full breasts up while jutting out a hip. You wore a breezy white button-up shirt and black pants. A plain outfit sure, but one that complimented your silhouette.

If he was going to tease you, you were going to return the favor.

You watched as he swallowed his saliva, eyes taking in your figure as they danced with desire. He stood several inches taller than you, and it didn’t help that you were in the confined space of your restroom. With your back pressed against the wall, he peered down at you, eyes hungrily taking in the sight of you.

He placed an arm above your head, pinning you in place.

“If I said I won’t do anything unprovoked would you believe me?” he asked his voice deep and low which made your stomach flutter. A smirk was playing on his lips, one that would make most women swoon.

You licked your lips, throat suddenly feeling dry.

“You always do what you want. You get what you want when you want it. So no, I do not believe you.” you continued to meet his heated stare, which seemed to please him. His fingers tilted your chin up further, making you crane your neck up to him.

“Are you suggesting I want you, y/n?” he purred, already knowing your answer.

You rubbed your legs together, trying to relieve some of that growing pressure between the apex of your thighs. A movement that didn’t go unnoticed by Satoru.

“I’m sorry, am I supposed to assume otherwise when you follow me into a bathroom and pin me against a wall? Or do you do this with all your friends?” there was one thing you never lacked, and that was your quick temper. Thanks to that, sarcasm tended to lick your words at all times.

His hand gripped your face, fingers lightly squeezing your cheeks.

“But are we truly just friends, y/n?” he brought his face closer to yours, hot breath tickling your skin.

“I recall,” he hummed as he took his free hand and trailed it down your clothed sternum. “You called yourself mine earlier.”

Your mind was cloudy, dizzy from the proximity of his face, the warmth of his hand gripping your cheeks, the smell of his skin, the soft caress of his voice; all of him was a drug, one that you could get high off of forever.

“I did,” you confirmed swallowing your dry saliva, trying to keep your voice steady.

Anticipation coursed through your veins as his finger continued to travel down your abdomen, hooking under the hem of your ruined shirt.

“Would you like me to show you how well I take care of things that are mine?” Satoru hummed, hot finger swirling around your belly button.

His long eyelashes lowered, making his intense gaze turn sultry and possessive. You forget to breathe for a moment, the heat between your legs spreading like a fire to your stomach, responding to his soft touch.

You bit your lip, your weak attempt at trying to resist him; crumbling with each mixed breath.

“What do you say, y/n? Will you let me worship you?” he dragged his finger up your stomach, playfully pushing under the band of your bra, just below your breast. Your breath hitched as he pressed his lips to your ear, tongue licking your soft lobe.

“Will you let me claim what's mine?” teeth grazed the soft shell of your ear and you gasped, head tilting back as the feeling went straight to your sex.

“Y-Yes,” you whispered, giving up your control, dropping your last barrier.

You felt him smile against your skin as he wrapped his hand around your waist.

“Good girl,”

You had to bite back the moan that threatened to escape your throat as he roughly kissed you, the press of his lips hungry and desperate. Strong hands wrapped themselves around your soft thighs, hiking you up the wall so he could press his hips into yours, hard cock pressing against your need.

Locking your legs around his waist you tangled your hands into his hair, fighting his tongue for dominance, clinging to the taste of him. He let a satisfied moan escape into your mouth as you dragged your teeth along his tongue, pulling it further into your mouth, sucking on the muscle.

He grabbed your ass shaking it roughly, the action making your clothed clit rubbed against his throbbing cock. You moaned greedily into his mouth as he possessively bit your bottom lip, tongue swirling along the swollen flesh.

Pressing his body further into yours, he removed his hands from your rear and began undoing your blouse, lips never leaving your own. He teasingly brushed his fingers over your clothed peaked nipples as he tantalizingly exposed you to him. Expert fingers crawled up your spine to your bra, undoing its clasp.

Supporting your weight with one arm, he took one step backward so he could remove the clothes that kept your skin from him.

He pulled back from the lull of your lips so he could admire you. Your breasts were heavy against your chest as your nipples ached, crying to be touched as the rest of your body did.

Satoru let out a satisfied sigh, eyes taking in your breasts as well as the tattoos that decorated your ribs and sternum.

“My fucking God you are perfect,” he praised, freely tracing his hand over the ink of your tattoos, lighting your skin ablaze.

“Mm, Satoru,” you whined lightly, tightening your legs around his waist to try and give yourself some relief.

He laughed darkly, his pupils swallowed his eyes entirely as pure desire resided in them.

“Eager for my dick, are you?” he hummed, two fingers pushing past your lips. You obediently sucked them, hollowing out your cheeks as you coated his flesh with your saliva as if this was your answer to his question.

You reveled in his pleased expression, he played with your tongue a bit while marveling at you. Ever-so-slowly, he removed his fingers from your mouth. He then scissored your thick, stringy saliva between his fingers, placed them in his mouth, and hummed in satisfaction.

Your insides turned molten at the sight. His eyes never left yours, even when he dragged his fingers out of his mouth. It was as if he wanted to drink you in, commit your every reaction to memory. He had barely touched you, but you could feel your wetness soak through your jeans. Your walls throbbed, practically begging to be fucked by him.

He read your expression easily, smirked, and then pressed his lips to yours instantly claiming dominance over your swollen lips. You were too lost in him to even noticed he had moved to your room, gently placing you down on your bed.

Lips trailing white-hot fire down your neck, he hooked his sinful fingers under the waistband of your jeans. He made quick work of taking the fabric off your skin and he kissed, sucked, and nipped at your neck. You moaned, all earlier pride washing away while being steadily replaced with lust.

You spread your legs wide for him, your sex, still clothed, had completely soaked your panties. Cool air kissed your heated flesh and you hissed, earning yourself a chuckle from Satoru. He rubbed gentle circles into the plush of your thighs, making you squirm with impatience.

He stepped back and you trailed him, sliding your fingers under his shirt, tugging it off his deliciously toned body.

“It’s maddening that you still have clothes on,” you admitted, bringing your knees under you, and planting kisses on his abdomen. He cursed at the touch, fingers entangling themselves in your hair as his gaze burned through you.

“Mm, you look so pretty on your knees for me, y/n.” he encouraged you as he lightly dug his fingers into your scalp.

You began taking off his pants as you trailed your tongue up his torso, his body shuddering against you as began sucking right above his hipbone.

You ensured to leave his boxers on, as he left your panties on you. It was driving you insane having a barrier between you two, but it was also a fun game you knew he was playing; who will cave first?

Ensuring to keep eye contact, you ghost your hand over his clothed length as you dip your tongue under the waistband of his boxers, feeling the stubble of his regrowing pubic hairs against your tongue. His eyelashes flutter as the hand in your hair trembles, you could tell he was holding back. Seeing him this way made your core throb.

“Are you trying to tease me?” he breathed heavily, chest rising and falling above you. It served as your encouragement. Purely drunk off the sight of him being so sensitive to your touch.

For a response, hummed innocently as you didn’t stop your teasing. With your other hand, you slid it up his left leg ensuring it entered his boxers, skillfully avoiding his balls and shaft while you softly swirled your fingers dangerously near where he wanted your touch.

His cock twitched, lightly hitting your hand and you smirked, biting into his hip, eliciting a moan from his throat. You moaned sweetly into his flesh, which drove him mad.

His hands found your shoulders and pinned you down to the bed as his lips found your clavicle, tongue tracing the length of the bone.

“Who knew,” he whispered breathlessly into your flesh, hands spreading your legs wide, as he began planting slopping kisses down your chest.

“That the girl who would cry in trees would be so evil?” Satoru licked his way from your sternum to your navel, tongue swirling around the soft skin making you squirm.

You hummed, fingers refinding his hair which prompted him to enclose your wrists with one hand, pinning them above your head. His mouth wrapped around your nipple, tongue expertly teasing the rosy bud making your toes curl. You mewled, back arching into his mouth as pleasure crawled down your spine.

“Who knew that the strongest man in this world would be so weak to my touch?” you challenged back, voice breathy and low. You earned yourself a nip to your nipple, making you yelp as your walls clenched at the feeling.

Satoru seemed to like your comment about him being strong because he happily worked your full breasts with his mouth, giving you a sensation of pleasure you never experienced before. Your soft moans filled the room, which only encouraged him more. Every lick, suck, and bite brought you closer to that edge.

He noticed too, humming into your skin and then removing his mouth, making you let out a needy whine in protest.

“Were you close, y/n?” he cooed, lips traveling south.

“Asking questions you already know the answers to?” you answered slyly, hands struggling against his iron grip. You wanted to replace the warmth your breasts had lost; wanting to chase the taste of pleasure he gave you.

“I always do, sweetheart.”

He smiled up at you, face between your legs, his breath tickling your needy sex. He inhaled deeply, making you blush even harder but you didn’t break eye contact, refusing to lose to him.

“Look at you, y/n. You're such a mess for me,” he clicked his tongue and dragged his finger up your wet, clothed pussy. Fire pooled in your gut at the lingering sensation of his finger. Your body trembled. You bit your lip, concealing the throaty moan that threatened you.

Satoru got on his knees and pulled you closer to the edge of the bed, your dripping core mere inches from his face. Without hesitation, he licked his way up your clothed cunt in a zig-zag-like motion, stopping just before reaching your swollen clit. You moaned loudly at the sudden pressure as your stomach tightened at the pleasure.

“Your panties are so soaked, and you wore white, too. Almost like you knew,” His voice vibrated against you, making you shiver.

He planted another lick on you, again stopping right before he reached your bundle of nerves, avoiding where you wanted him most.

“You taste so good baby.” he praised while continuing to slowly lick your pussy, your legs began to shake as your body screamed for more. He dug his strong hands into your hips, pinning you to the bed to keep you still for him.

It felt so good, but also incomplete. With each swipe of his tongue, he moaned appreciatively, drinking in your scent, losing himself in the taste of your need, but never fully giving you what you want.

“S-Satoru, mm, please.” you pleaded helplessly, submitting to him fully.

“Be a good girl for me and tell me what I want to hear, y/n.”

Another long lick without relief, you whimpered.

“Beg for me,” he whispered darkly, tongue licking above your clit just for emphasis.

“I-I am yours,” you panted, the ability to form coherent sentences increasingly becoming hard for you with each press of his tongue.

“And?” he coaxed, fingers now joining his dance as he rubbed two of them against you.

You recalled his words from earlier this evening.

“I want you to worship me,” you moaned loudly at the slight brush of his finger against your clit.

“What else, y/n? Tell me what you want.” his teeth are now wrapped around the lace of your panties, ready to pull them down at your words.

You swallowed your pride, allowing yourself to be consumed whole by his eyes.

“I want you to fuck me. With your mouth, with your fingers, with your cock. I want you to fuck me however you want, Satoru. I am yours, and you are mine.” as the words left your lips, he peeled your panties off your body.

Cool air kissed your throbbing pussy making you quiver.

“I am going to make you forget every man that came before me.”

The pure promise of his words nearly drove you over the edge, but nothing could compare to what came next.

His tongue licked up your dripping cunt, making your juices drip down to your ass. He growled anomalistically into you as you coated his tongue. You tangled your fingers in his hair, the sweet press of his tongue against your clit making you buck your hips.

“You’re so perfect,” he praised into your sex, sending sweet vibrations to the deepest parts of you.

His mouth wrapped around your clit, tongue swirling and sucking your bundle of nerves, sending delicious waves of pleasure through your firey veins. Breathing was impossible, you became a moaning mess for him. His name left your lips like a prayer, and he drank it up. Savoring every bit of your helpless moans, knowing they were all for him.

Without warning, he slid two warm fingers into your slick walls, momentarily stretching you, then removing them entirely.

What?

You knitted your eyebrows because the only noise you could make was strangled pleasure-filled moans.

But soon, those two fingers enter your ass, as his thumb entered your cunt making you moan uncontrollably.

You were overstimulated, so much pleasure filled you. His free hand came to play with your breasts, pinching a rolling your nipples between his rough nimble fingers. The edge crept back up, the knot in your stomach tightening.

“S-Satoru I’m–” you cried, your release rapidly approaching.

Tears pricked your eyes. No man had ever made you feel this way, let alone make you cum. You were almost afraid of the release.

“Not until I tell you to baby,” he warned, his tongue flicking your clit relentlessly as his fingers pumped both your holes, driving you closer and closer to the deep end.

You clenched your walls hard, trying so desperately to hold back your orgasm, which only made Satoru pump and suck you faster.

“I-I can’t–”

“Cum for me baby,”

His words were your undoing. On his command, you came hard around his fingers, both of your holes shuddering as pleasurable waves crashed over your body. Stars blotted your vision. Your feet became unbearably hot as your hands held his hair for dear life as if it would save you from your overwhelming orgasm.

“Good girl, cum for Daddy.” Satoru praised you, tongue tracing slow circles on you as his hand helped you ride the wave.

You felt like you were floating. Your body was impossibly light as you came down from your high. You tried to remember how to breathe.

Inhale… Exhale… Inhale… Exhale.

Wet lips found yours, the taste of you lingering on his tongue as his body hovered over you. You moaned into his mouth, your body sensitive and mind hazy as the after-effects.

Through his searing kiss, you began to reground yourself in reality. You hook your legs behind Satoru’s, then flip your bodies, pleased to find at some point he removed his boxers as your slickness coated him.

“Your turn,” you take his bottom lip between your teeth, dragging them slowly along the plump flesh. He gives you an appreciative smack to your ass, the feeling going straight to your groin.

You trail your lips down his neck, licking and sucking at the supple skin, relishing in the gasp that escapes Satoru’s lips when you lick his ear. Grinding your slick pussy against him, he grunts, hands holding your hips tight enough to leave bruises.

You smile as you feel him grit his teeth, soft pants leaving his lips.

“Feel good Daddy?” you ask innocently, pulling your face back to look at his beautiful face.

His cheeks were flushed with lips wet and parted, eyebrows knitted together, and eyes completely transfixed on your wet pussy grinding against him.

“Mm, you feel good baby,” he says to you softly and watches as you lean back further, placing your hands on his sculpted chest, moving your hips with a deeper pressure.

“Tell me what you want,” you sigh, enjoying the warm feeling of his thick cock against you. His eyes find your face, taking in your satisfied features, smirking at the sight of you getting yourself off by just grinding on him.

He takes your face in his hand and traces your lips with his finger.

“I want you to wrap that pretty little mouth of yours around my cock.”

The heat in his gaze alone nearly drives you over the edge, so you oblige him. Making a show of you getting on all fours for his lying down frame, wiggling your ass in the air for him, earning yourself another spank.

You take his member in your hand, pumping him a few times, marveling at his length and girth. Satoru just watched you, sucking in air between his teeth at your touch.

Bigger than anyone I’ve ever had…

Meeting his eyes, you brought your lips to his tip. Sucking and swirling your tongue, humming when the salty yet sweet taste of his precum hits your lips. His expression darkened as you moved your mouth down his shaft, hollowing out your cheeks, allowing him to travel down your esophagus until your nose touched his stomach.

“S-Shit, y/n.” his hands fisted your hair as you happily shook your mouth around him, causing him to curse again.

Slowly, you make your way back up, licking his underside as your hand cup and gently massage his balls. He’s beautiful, even with the sweat dripping down his brow and his face contours from pleasure.

You begin to pick up your pace. Ensuring to suck harder towards the tip and make slurping and choking noises to stroke his ego. Your saliva thickened as your throat fucked him and as soon as you could comfortably take him he regained control.

Satoru began thrusting his cock in your mouth at a relentless pace, you could see the satisfaction in his eyes as your tears formed and you struggled to breathe.

“You look so beautiful with my cock in your mouth. What a good little slut you are.”

Your walls clenched at his word as you licked and sucked him as best you could with his pace, getting off on the fact that you were pleasing him. You moaned against him, which in turn made his cock twitch.

“Fuck, just like that baby.” he hissed while throwing his head back into the sheets, the base of his cock twitching more and more in your mouth.

Suddenly, he aggressively pulled your head back, completely taking your mouth off of him, saliva dripping from your wet lips.

He laughs, running his thumbs along your cheeks. He pulls himself to a sitting position as you hungrily stare at his glistening angry red cock that stands proudly against his stomach.

“You almost made me cum,” he mused breathlessly, peppering kisses along your cheek.

“Well, that was my intent,” you smile and he groans, flipping your bodies so that you’re under him again.

He aligns himself with your dripping entrance and smiles at you. He smacks his cock against your clit, sending shocks down your spine.

“Tell me to stop if it hurts, okay?” you bit your lips and nodded, earning you another world-shatteringly beautiful smile.

“So perfect,” he murmurs against your lips as he slowly pushes into you, swallowing your gasp.

You tremble as your walls adjust to his thickness, the feeling of him stretching you felt like heaven. Inch by inch he pushes into you, allowing you to adjust to him every step of the way. His tongue plays with yours as he swallows your satisfied moan at the feeling of fullness he gives you.

“Fuck Satoru,” you breathe between the two of you. He nips at your bottom lip as he grabs your legs, allowing himself to bottom out in your pussy.

“You’re so fucking tight, y/n,” He presses his forehead against yours as a shuddering breath passes his lips. You nod your head while digging your fingers into his shoulders, a signal to him to start moving.

He pulls out of you, almost entirely, then rolls his hips back into yours. The feeling makes your stomach tighten, he reached so deep in you as your velvet walls hungrily sucked him back in causing you both to let out a moan.

He picked up his pace, now biting his lower lip in concentration. You couldn’t help yourself as you reached up and caressed his face, marveling at this beautiful man.

“Mine,” you whispered, almost to yourself.

“Yours,” he answered, slamming his hips into you, angling himself to hit that spongey spot that connects right to your clit.

You couldn’t hide the obnoxious moan that left your throat as he hit that spot over and over again, making your eyes roll back.

“Found it,”

You both lost yourselves in the feeling of each other. Him in the warm wet bliss of your walls tightly hugging him, you in the friction and stretch of him. Your mouths were a hot mess of skin, teeth, and saliva. Your hands hungrily gripped one another. His hands find your ass, bringing your hips up to reach a new depth in you, which you returned by meeting his relentless thrusts.

There was a sort of desperation in your movements together, as if you both feared this would be the last time you would be able to express yourselves.

Your breaths became ragged as you felt the approach of your second release. You hopelessly raked your nails down Satoru’s spine. His thrusts became more erratic as you felt his cock twitch inside of you, which caused you to clench around him. He wrapped his hand around your throat, hard enough to leave a mark, light enough to allow you to breathe.

“Fuck baby, I’m close.” he breathed into your ear, hot and heavy. The words brought you closer to the edge.

“I want you to cum for me Daddy.” You said breathlessly, the words falling off your lips in a slur. He grunted, fingers digging into your plump ass.

He sucked the juncture between your neck and shoulder. He reached between your bodies and rubbed expert circles into your clit, sending you over the edge for the second time that evening.

Your release crashed over you hard as your walls clenched around Satoru, taking him over the cliff with you. His seed spilled in you, warm and deep which made you feel so full and satisfied. You moaned helplessly into his shoulder as he whispered your name in your ear as if it was the most precious thing in the world.

—

Y/n’s body shuddered against him as they came down from their highs together. Satoru rubbed soothing circles against her sweaty back while peppering her hot cheeks with light kisses.

He has had a lot of sex, but nothing ever felt like that to him, ever. His cock was already hard again, deep inside y/n's warm pussy, plugging her full of his seed.

He had no intention of having children, but he needed to claim her, in every way he possibly could. He wasn’t satiated, not even close.

“Y/n,” he pressed a kiss to her soft, swollen lips. Basking in the taste of their combined lust.

“Hm?” she murmured dreamily, long eyelashes fluttering against her deeply flushed cheeks.

“Turn around for me,” he ordered. She whimpered but obediently did as he said.

Sluggishly, she unlatched their bodies and crawled forward on the bed, and got on all fours, shaking her ass in front of his face. He sighed at the sight, watching as their mixed juices streamed down her plump thighs.

Getting on his knees himself, he positioned himself at her entrance, relishing in the way her body shuddered at the contact. Grabbing her long hair and wrapping it around his hand, he slammed his cock into her quivering pussy.

She moaned loudly into the bed as he tilted his head back, getting drunk from the feeling of her tight velvet walls sucking him back in, taking all of him. Satoru didn’t hold back as he greedily fucked her, watching as her ass bruised with his hand prints bounced on his cock.

She cried his name into the bed, hands gripping the sheets as her chest fell to the mattress forcing her back to arch at a harsher angle. He watched as drool pooled from her mouth with her face squished, moving back and forth with each hard thrust of his hips.

“You’re doing so good baby girl,” he moaned meaning every word.

She smiled, lifting her head slightly to meet his eyes, nearly driving him over the edge. He never came quickly before, which is why he was so shocked when he nearly busted from her mouth alone. She had bewitched him, in ways that no woman could even compare. From the feeling of her lips, moans that were soft and musical to his ears, down to the taste that dripped for him. No one came close.

“Mm, you feel so fucking good.” her praise was like honey, making his cock twitch and he set an ungodly pace, hands digging into her hips so he could pull her into his deep thrusts.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” she cursed, her legs shaking beneath him as her walls clenched around him.

He smiled wolfishly, roughly grabbing her face and kissing her. She moaned into his kiss, unable to control the tears falling from her eyes.

Tasting the salt on his tongue, Satoru pulled away and sweetly kissed her tears away.

“Does it hurt baby?” he asked softly, fear suddenly coating his veins.

“N-No, you’re just, ah, so, you feel–” her words were messy and slow, yet he couldn’t help but think she couldn’t look more beautiful to him.

She let down each and every last barrier for him tonight, and he knew how scary that was for her. He wanted to appreciate her, in every way possible, starting with giving her the pleasure that he knew no one had given her. He could tell by her reactions, the surprise on her face at each orgasm that she never came through sex before. It filled him with pride and a sense of ownership.

He slowed his pace, rubbing circles into her lower back to allow her to breathe.

“What is it, love?” he coaxed, lovingly smoothing her hair out of her face.

She gulped down air relaxing into his touch, and she sighed.

“It’s a lot, I-I’ve never.” she closed her eyes, body shuddering against him. Again, he felt her walls clenching him deliciously, it took everything in him not to moan.

“I know, baby. I know,” he assured her, peppering kisses along her spine. His hips moved in sync with hers, matching her pace while enjoying the full feeling of her.

“Do you want to stop?” he offered, but she shook her head with vigor even with her eyes showing signs of exhaustion. He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lips, she was just as drunk off of him as he is of her.

He was enjoying this almost too much. He could do this for hours, but he didn’t know if her body would hold up.

“Good girl,”

At his praise, her pussy responded, clenching hard around him.

He smiled, taking his hand and pressing it to the base of her neck, gently forcing her face down into the bed. She screwed her eyes shut, teeth sinking into her lips to conceal her moan.

With a deep breath in, he picked his pace back up, rolling and hammering his cock into her. Her legs began shaking so much to the point they gave out on her, her body laying flat on the bed as he continued to bring them closer to their high.

“Fuck, you’re so deep,” she moaned, voice muffled by the sheets.

He grunted, the compliment filling him with even more motivation.

“You do such a good job at taking this dick, y/n.”

She whimpered her orgasm close. He could tell by how tense her body was. Her walls were impossibly tight around him, clenching down hard on his cock as if it was trying to suck him in.

“D-Daddy I'm close–”

His eyes rolled back. Hearing her sweet voice say such dirty things for him drove him crazy.

“I want you to cum all over my cock baby.”

He pressed kisses to her shoulder, sucking on the skin as his release crept up on him, balls tightening to prepare for the burst.

Her hands clawed helplessly at the sheets as he overstimulated her body.

“That’s right, let go, y/n. Let me make you feel good.”

She screamed his name as she came all around him, dragging his orgasm out of him. White-hot fire crashed over him as he stopped dead in her, shaking violently as he spilled his seed into her for the second time.

“Fuck,” she heaved, chest rising and falling heavily. He could only nod against her clammy skin, lips pressing soft kisses to her shoulder.

She reached her hands around their bodies and began rubbing his thighs, small hands trying to soothe him.

Laughing lightly, he slowly detached himself from her. His cock missed her warmth immediately as he set out to her bathroom, bare feet padding on the cold hardwood floors. He found the towel he sought and returned to her side.

She whimpered while he helped her into a sitting position. Slowly, he pressed light kisses to her face as he gently cleaned his seed off of her. It had spilled everywhere. Down her thighs, on her ass, on the sheets. Everything was sticky from their various fluids, and it made him feel good knowing he was the one that caused it.

He looked to y/n. She leaned back on her hands, eyes closed, forehead slick with sweat, lips parted as she tried to breathe. Her nipples were still peaked as he took in the sight of the love marks he had left on her skin. It made him smile.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, pushing some of her hair that stuck to her face out of the way.

“Hm, so are you.” she hummed happily, opening her eyes to meet his.

His heart skipped a beat.

The way she looked at him was indescribable. Even back then, she had been one of the few people who were completely honest with him. She didn’t care how powerful he was. She ignored it and accepted him. He showed her the darkest parts of himself, and she still supported him with a smile. This woman, who he failed to realize his feelings for till it was too late, looked at him with nothing but love.

He pulled her into his lap, taking her lovely face into his hands.

“I can’t promise you it’ll be easy with me,” her eyes widened.

“There may be a time where I get hurt, or I sacrifice myself for my students, or I make a stupid decision.”

“You always make stupid decisions,” she chided with a snort, coaxing a smile out of him.

“But, my heart is yours, y/n. For however long we are here on this earth, I promise to love you, and only you.” the truth of his words clanged between them as his heart pounded against his chest. It was the first profession of love he ever made and meant – it terrified him. Being this vulnerable, knowing now he truly had a weakness.

She smiled, softly taking his hands in hers.

“I love you, Satoru Gojo. I will love you through the pain and blood that awaits us. I will love your stupidity. I will accept your demons, fears, and dreams all the same. I will support you. I am yours.”

His lips found her soft ones, trying to conceal the tears that fell from his eyes. Despite that, her hands found his cheeks, lovingly wiping away his tears.

He couldn’t stop the flow. He felt so much at once; relief, pain, sadness, longing, happiness, fear, love. It overwhelmed him. He had missed her for so long. The way he would push her buttons so she could spit fire at him. How he was the only one who saw her soft laugh. He missed the way she would hold his body with her small one, promising him he wasn’t a monster as her scent enveloped his senses. He chased the smell of her for years, due to it being the only thing that made him feel at ease.

He realized then.

She was home. She is his home.

—

One year later

“Y/nnnnnnnn~!” Utahime called out to you, arms spread wide and she ran towards your approaching figure.

You smiled softly, opening your arms to accept her embrace. The woman crashed into your arms, chest pressing hard against yours as she sobbed into your neck.

“I thought you died! To think that bastard Gojo found you before I did!” she cried and you laughed, rubbing circles into your friend's back.

“Oi! What do you mean by ‘bastard Gojo’? And get off my woman!” his tone made you chuckle.

You two haven’t changed much.

“Utahime, let y/n breathe.”

You look in the direction of the voice and saw Mei Mei.

Your heart stopped. She looked even more beautiful than she did when you were young.

Utahime begrudgingly lets go of your frame. Though she pulled her cool indifferent mask back on, you could make out her slight pout.

Mei Mei grabbed your shoulder, her red lips pulling into a wicked smile.

“Have you been well? Has this trash been treating you well?”

“Hey, I’m right here!”

“Yes, I have been well, how about you?” you smile innocently as you, Mei Mei and Utahime start walking – ignoring Satoru entirely.

The grounds of Jujutsu High were just as beautiful as you remembered. You chatted idly with your friends, sharing stories of the past ten years. Utahime couldn’t hide her tears at some parts, where Mei Mei reassuringly rubbed your shoulder. Satoru lazily trailed behind, a secret smile on his lips as he watched you smile with your friends.

As you entered the main building you sighed, memories flooding your mind of your time here.

“Time sure does fly,” you muse, spinning in a small circle to take in your surroundings.

“It does,” they all said in unison, making you chuckle.

“Do they know?” you asked no one in particular, knowing everyone knew what you were asking.

“Gojo is still hiding your existence from the higher-ups, which is why we’re confused as to why he brought you here. Is it for Itadori Yuuji?” Mei Mei asked carefully, eyeing Satoru side-long.

You nodded once. He proposed that you meet Itadori Yuuji, Megumi Fushiguro, and Nobara Kugisaki so they could learn your face and trust you in the future.

As you approached the classroom an annoyed female voice rang through the hall.

“Oi! Idiot A and B are you listening?!”

“Yes yes yes, we’re listening”

“I want a steak”

“No you idiot I said we’re eating sushi! Sushi! Listen and repeat after me. Su-shi. Tell that happy-go-lucky teacher of ours that we want sushi!”

You had to stifle your laughter as Satoru opened the doors to the classroom, arms spread wide with a nonchalant smile plastered on his face.

“No need to fear your good-looking teacher is here!”

“Huuuh?” the students said in unison, their heads cocked to the side as they stared at the teacher with dumbfounded expressions.

Mei Mei and Utahime positioned themselves outside the classroom, ensuring to keep an eye out for anyone who might come down the hall and see you.

You quietly step into the classroom, an awkward smile on your face as you softly wave to his precious students.

“Hello, I am y/n l/n. It is nice to meet you.” you bow deeply to show respect to the younger generation, but you hear Satoru’s sneaky chuckle.

“Gojo-sama is this the girlfriend you’re so obsessed with?” a cool-toned voice called out from the black-haired student.

Toji’s son, huh?

“No way, this is your girlfriend?!” the pink-haired boy called out, voice full of energy and brightness.

Sukunas vessel.

“Of course, it’s his girlfriend, look at the way he’s standing so close to her.” the young female chided, looking at you with bright sparkling eyes.

You couldn’t hide your laughter. You used your hand to cover your mouth as the sight of them reminded you so much of Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko.

“I wanted to introduce you to her, so in the future, if you have to work with her know that she can be trusted. Back in the day, her strength was second only to mine.” Satoru bragged about you shamelessly to his students, making you blush.

Yuuji blushed while looking at you whereas Megumi simply turned his gaze away. Nobara still looked at you with awe.

“Why aren’t you a sorcerer anymore?” Yuuji asked, and you smirked bringing your index finger to your lips.

“It’s a secret.” you threw the students a wink, and Megumi let out a sigh.

“You’re just as bad as him.” Megumi stuck his chin out towards Satoru, which made you smile inwardly.

It’s still strange to think Satoru raised this kid, even if it is to spite the Zen’in clan.

“Don’t be rude!” Nobara slapped his knee, causing Megumi’s eye to twitch.

“Stop fighting, you’re making me look bad.” Satoru scolded, but none of them listened.

“Huh? Who cares about that?” Megumi challenged, easily pushing Satoru’s buttons.

“Eh? What did you just say you brat?” Satoru wasted no time, locking Megumis head in his arm, aggressively messing his spiky hair up.

You stood, trying to stifle your laughter at the lively sight. Nobara cheered Satoru on while Yuuji remained shocked at his teacher's actions. You could hear Mei Mei sigh and Utahime covered her eyes in disappointment.

You didn’t know how long this would last, but it made your heart feel so full. It healed the very last wound that plagued your soul. Finally, you were whole again.

You became remade in the brightness of their light.

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annierosaart · 11 months

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So I recently found your blog and you Exusiai theory and I'm in love with it, I really hope it becomes canon, is just so good and Exu is one of my fav charas I need more stuff with her on it on the main game.

Anyways, I've been playing on and off AK for the past yrs and I'm def lost when it comes to most of the story since it's a lot to catch up to, so can you explain more in-depth the Flammetta/Exusiai ship or at least relationship/parallelisms?

OH BOY CAN I

After the confirmation that Exusiai isn't connected to the other Sankta in Il Siracusano, it explained her entire character.

As I've explained in the post I made about her being disconnected originally, it always stood out to me how Exusiai specifically was treated differently from other Sankta in Laterano during her childhood and teenage years, despite the fact that she's supposedly a bog standard Sankta. From her being constantly mistreated and ditched not just by Mostima but by her sister also (see her Oprec 1),

To the fact she was constantly blamed for things that were legitimate accidents, the kind of stuff that happens on purpose in Laterano every single day, to the point where her word was doubted and she was accused of being a Sarkaz, it paints an extremely lonely and alienating picture of her.

It's especially odd that her own family and supposed childhood friend would do shit like that to her, given the fact that at the time, they should've known that it was upsetting for her to go through that, seeing as the Empathy would've made it hard for her to hide that. (oprec 1) And it'd be extremely out of character for Lemuen to do things like that, considering her intense love for her sister...

Combined with being grilled for lying by her superiors, which again, would be difficult for a Sankta connected to the Empathy... You see what I'm getting at?

She isn't connected to other Sankta. Never has been. From the start, her files and dialogue mention her being an exception amongst Sankta, unique, different. Guide Ahead showed us they're all similar to her in personality, however, so what exactly sets her apart? It's that.

Exusiai has multiple lines, in CoB, IL Siracusano, and her dialogues that show how deeply lonely she actually is, and how ACTUALLY empathetic she is; real empathy, not Sankta Empathy.

She threw herself into the Rat King's sandstorm for Mostima and Bison, she always remembered to keep an eye on him and keep him up to date, taking time to ease his worries and doubts. She always looks out for everyone else in PL, canonically being broke from doing so all the time. She risked her life to save a woman that was being harassed in IL Siracusano, despite not knowing her at all.

This isn't normal Sankta behavior. Sankta, even the ones at RI, are generally somewhat cold or indifferent to non Sankta. Arene, Ambriel, Executor... The only exception is Enforcer, who we know isn't connected as well.

Exusiai grew up socially and emotionally isolated, enough that no one ever gave her closure for the Andoain incident, despite the fact she has literal PTSD from it (oprec 1), no one ever got along with her really, to the point where her classmates celebrated her leaving to her face...

She hides it in front of others, but several lines show her actually being very tired, serious, and depressed, especially when they bring up a personality quirk of hers.

Promotion 2 - "Leader... No, savior, I pledge to this gun in my hand to protect you until the very end of this world." Talk after Trust Increase 2 - "If you ever run into an angel with black horns oozing ominous vibes, please tell her for me: I've never forgotten her." Idle - "...Lord, is this someone we gotta save too?"

All of which parallels stuff with Fiammetta:

From the offset, Fiammetta is by default isolated from her peers, being a Liberi in Laterano.

She grew up inherently different from a majority of people there, and as we see in Guide Ahead, though she tries to hide it, especially from other Liberi, she developed a complex over it.

It's especially evident when she snaps at Mostima, ranting about the Empathy between Sankta, complaining about how alienating it is to her, how it hurts her to not be understood. It's further elaborated on in her module's text, where we see her struggling to handle a gun that Sankta her age were already handling with ease, clearly frustrated enough by the fact that her mentor had to come and offer an alternative.

Beyond that, like Exusiai puts on a front but just wants people to tell her things for once, who's always been kept in the dark about not just events but also what other Sankta are feeling, Fiammetta is constantly isolated from her peers' feelings and motivations, ignored and brushed aside. It's constant in Guide Ahead, how her input and presence are secondary to whatever asinine conversation the Sankta are having, even in the middle of a crisis.

Her wants and needs are secondary, she's constantly forced to put up with titles she despises and finds humiliating, mockeries of her while she tries to do her job seriously...

Just like how Exusiai is consistently made fun of for any mistake she makes, even when others have a hand in that mistake. By PL itself no less. She laughs it off, but in exchanges with Bison, she clearly shows how bothered she is by being shrugged off or treated with a lack of care. She wants to be understood and taken seriously. But it never happens.

Fiammetta is exactly the same, constantly chasing a desire to be taken seriously as a member of the Notarial Hall, to have her feelings heard. But it never happens.

As a Liberi, she's inherently not a part of the connection all other Sankta have (with exceptions). They can't understand her. Nor do they bother to. It infuriates her, but what else can she do? What else is there to do? From birth, she was different from them, not the same as them, her weapons are a constant reminder... As is Exusiai's lack of connection to others an unconscious reminder to her.

And it all culminates in the Lock and Key incident. Both of them have been deeply traumatized by it, and whilst Fiammetta is at least more in the know than Exusiai, neither are ever offered the closure they need, the closure that would help them move on. Despite both being close to the people involved, they're kept in the dark.

Instead, they're made to stew in their feelings, made to feel left out on purpose one way or another, never allowed the proper right to live past that event. Both are obsessed with that day. Both desperately want to know what happened, what set it all off, WHY it happened.

But they never find out. They're forced to keep living in the dark while their friends and family are whiling, creating purpose beyond that day.

They're both women who were hurt by an incident that they were never allowed closure on, despite involving people they loved. They're both women who have been isolated and alienated from everyone else, becoming extremely lonely and distant all the while. Exusiai doesn't let anyone in, doesn't open up. Texas says as much.

Exusiai is my polar opposite. She seems to get along fine with anyone, but lets very few people close to her. —Texas

Fiammetta won't let anyone else in. Bottles her feelings until they explode. Because no one will hear anyway. No one will care. So why should she?

They're hurt. They're scarred and tired of being the only ones left out of the loop. Of the inside joke. Of the joy and folly every other Sankta is privy to.

They both value choices, independence, yet are bound to their past traumas. That they'll face one day. They both try to move on, but they can't. Exusiai still chases Mostima whenever she appears for answers she won't give, Fiammetta still chases Andoain for a revenge that won't quell her.

They're both obsessed with getting closure that the world's denied them.

And with Exusiai's surprisingly deeply kind nature, genuinely empathetic and sympathetic to others, to hear them out, and Fiammetta's insistence on confronting things head on, on not moving past them, and her deep down caring interior... They could heal a lot with each other. Love without compromise.

Beyond these thematic and story parallels, the two have a lot of miscellaneous ones too.

Their talents complement each other, Exusiai covers Fiammetta's health drain, allowing her to fight with more strength for longer.

Their physical scores are complementary, Exusiai covering Fiammetta's weakness in tactical acumen, and Fiammetta covering her lack of physical endurance respectively

Their descriptions are both about their dedication and willpower to see things through to the end.

Obsessions with protecting people (Exusiai's codename actually comes from Powers, the Angel class said to protect people and prevent evils from happening)

Hell, Exusiai's third skin replaces her blessing effects with a blue glow, complementary to Fia's red, and blue feathers. Sankta don't have feathers, so...

Their record medal descriptions match.

And finally...

Fiammetta is usually tolerant of Mostima's personality, even going along with it at times. But the moment Exusiai is involved, she becomes extremely impatient, and protective. Much more so than she logically should be at times.

With the context that she's been watching Mostima and essentially bugged her to hear in on her, she had to witness her leading Exusiai on all night, giving her false hope for an answer that wouldn't come.

Only for her to caress her sleeping and drunk form, as if they were still that close. With the knowledge they both parallel each other a ton, she might see herself in her...

Fiammetta's face shows way more contempt than expected, and her dialogue following this shows way less tolerance for Mostima, in spite of the fact that Exusiai is sound asleep and wouldn't hear them.

In Mostima's own record, Fia suddenly cares about Exusiai's feelings, about it being fair or not to her...

And firmly says she won't let Exusiai ever get wrapped up in the Lock and Key business, her face becoming more serious. Again, extremely protective of someone that at best, she knew as an acquaintance when they were both younger.

Fiammetta cares about Exusiai to an unnatural degree, hinting at either shared history that's not brought up, or that she relates to her, and she can't ignore that.

And if Exusiai talked to Fiammetta now, she'd likely find that same relatability, that same pain they've both been enduring, that they cope with in different ways.

Exusiai drowns herself in a carefree 'mask', drinks until she's blackout drunk often, is enough of a workaholic to fall asleep at PL's couch and compulsively spends money on others.

Fiammetta destroys herself with work, with fighting, burning herself out as she fires off attacks, obsessing and following Mostima around for the slimmest chance that Andoain might show up again...

They both need healing. Healing only the other could provide.

Fiammetta's friends/partners/exes are condescending towards her, don't try to truly get why this plagues her, even after Guide Ahead. PL can't help Exusiai, not only do they have their own problems, they can't relate at all; Texas has a mountain of baggage to work through herself.

They'd find solace, comfort in one another... Both things they desperately need.

#arknights #exusiai #exusiai arknights #arknights exusiai #fiammetta #fiammetta arknights #arknights fiammetta #fiaexu #meta post #my ramblings

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timaeusterrored · 5 months

Text

The first Christmas after the relic incident and Vax actually coherent enough to participate is the first time Kerry gets to talk to Mama Welles and Vik without the space of a hospital or Vax on death’s door.

Vik is really unsure about Kerry, despite his willingness to do anything for Vax. To take care of him in his time of need. Maybe he just saw Vax as something to do. A charity case. He’d get bored once Vax was back on his feet. Though it had been over a year since Vax had gotten down, and Kerry was still here.

Their first Christmas with Kerry in their lives had been bleak. Vax still wasn’t talking and was still unsure if he’d actually make it. But now, he had begged Kerry to actually meet his family. No doctors or threats of death. And Kerry couldn’t help but agree.

Mama Welles was more inclined to give Kerry a chance, watching them from her window as the ‘Diva Rockerboy’ got out of the drivers seat in a baggy sweatshirt and jeans, helping Vax out of the car and comfortable on his crutches. The rehabilitation of V had been rough, lots of arguing and tears and stubbornness. But Mama Welles saw her son’s smile when he leaned for a kiss, and the way Kerry held his face like it was the most precious thing he had.

The dinner was nice, Kerry was mostly quietly. The charm couldn’t be on here. And he may be 90 years old, but meeting the parents was still just as stressful as it had been 20 years ago. Especially with the amount of scandals and drama Kerry had been involved in. He wanted these two to trust him with their boy.

Vax was all smiles, his favorite soup, his parents, his partner. It was perfect. Until Vik called him into another room- leaving Kerry alone with Mama Welles.

Mothers were always scarier.

“You love him.” It wasn’t a question. It was stone cold fact. One that Kerry was terrified of. He knew he loved V… but damn he did not wanna admit that. It was supposed to be a fling. Closure for Johnny. Then he saw those sad eyes in the Arasaka shuttle and his brain shut down. All he knew was that he needed V back.

So Kerry nodded. There was no beating around that bush.

“Good. He loves you. I went to a speech therapy session with him and you were all he talked about. It wasn’t even about your music, it was about you. I know more about how your hair feels than I do my own son.” God that kid was such a sweetheart what the fuck?

“He’s a sweet person, Ms. Welles. I’d do anything for him.”

“Oh I know. You got into a legal battle with Arasaka for him. And somehow won?”

Never mess with the gays as Nancy always said.

“I couldn’t lose. I had to win, for him.”

Mama Welles smiled and nodded, then took Kerry’s hand. Despite him being way older than her, he felt a comfort he hadn’t felt since his own mother had last held him… when he was 10.

“I see it in your eyes. You have my blessing. If you ever, Y’know, decide to get married again.” She patted his hand and pulled away when the sound of V’s crutches came back into the house.

“‘M Fuckin’ knee is about to give out.” Vax swore, making Mama Welles look up.

“Language!”

“Sorry mama!” Kerry chuckled, shaking his head. He didn’t deserve Vax… no one did. Not a single soul in Night City deserved him.

But Kerry was selfish, and he’d hold onto Vax for as long as possibly.

“I might take you up on that offer.” Kerry whispered, squeezing her hand on the table before going back to his partner.

#sobs #cyberpunk 2077 #kerry eurodyne #cyberpunk kerry #kerry #cyberpunk v #male v #male v cyberpunk #vax eurodyne #kerry x v #kerry eurodyne x v #kerry x male v #cyberpunk Kerry x male v #male v x kerry #v x kerry #cyberpunk v x Kerry #otp: supernova #pre-marriage Vax and Kerry own my heart

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momentaryescape · 1 year

Text

I'm Comin' Over

Jay Halstead x Reader Word Count: 853 Warnings: None Authors Note: This is the first of a One Chicago mini-series based on the "Im Comin' Over" album

Jay was in the car before he even picked up the phone. He knew he shouldn’t, that after your last goodbye that should have been it. But no matter how many times he told himself not to, he would still drop everything for you. Neither of you could fully let go. He thought “to hell with closure” as he ran every red light he hit. Closure could wait, you needed him, and he needed you.

——————

You called him after a hard day working at Med with the patients of a massive incident that Intelligence had been called in on. Every time Maggie called out that a patient was coming in you were scared Jay would be the one on the stretcher. Will was the only one who knew that you and Jay had been together, and he knew by the look on your face what you were thinking.

“He’s okay y/n. I just got off the phone with him, and he told me they were safe.” He gave you a nod before walking away to go check on more patients.

For the next god knows how many hours you and the rest of the ED helped patch people. Will kept you updated when he heard from Jay. You didn't know but he was also keeping Jay updated on you as well. You loved your job but on days like this one when there are more patients than you can count you get overwhelmed and never talk to anyone, knowing others have it worse. Jay was the only person who could get you to open up.

——————

When your name flashed on his screen he knew you needed him. This wasn't the first time one of you had called the other, but this was the first time it was for something neither of you could avoid.

“Hey y/n” His voice was soft.

“Hi, Jay. Do you uh..do you think you can talk to me? I need to talk to someone.” The sound of your voice reminds Jay of the night he would hold you as you let it all out. The times you would fall asleep and dream of what your future with him would look like before it was over.

“Always.” You broke down when he said that. “Today was rough, I uh…every time someone came in I was scared that it was you. That something happened and you were injured. But please Jay, I know moving on was getting closer, but I need you.” Your voice shook, trying not to cry.

“To hell with closure. You need me y/n. We can save it for another time.” You were his world, even if you weren’t his anymore.No matter what he would be there for you.

——————

When he knocked on your door you jumped. You had gotten off the phone with him when he was around the corner from your apartment. In the few minutes since the call ended, you had zoned out, replaying the day in your head on repeat. The fear you felt every time a new person was rushed in that it would be Jay.

Opening your door you instantly fall into his arms. The mask you had been wearing all day was no longer on. He guided the two of you into the house, locking the door behind you before making his way to your couch. Sitting down next to you he wraps his arms around you pulling you into him. Neither of you talks, the only sound in the room is the soft sob you let out into his chest. Tears marking their presence on his shirt. Pulling you closer, he places a kiss on the top of your head. After a while you look up at him, breaking the silence. “I'm sorry for making you come all the way over here.” He shifts, causing you to sit up. He turns so you are sitting facing each other.

“You never have to apologize for calling me or needing me. You are the most important thing to me. I will always be there for you. Night or Day. No matter how many times we say it's over I will always say fuck the closure. We keep coming back to each other, the fear you had of me being rushed into the ED is the same fear I get every time a victim matches your description. I don’t want to pretend that I don't care about you and that I'm happy without you.” He lifts your chin so you are looking at him. “You are my everything y/n. If you’re willing, we can try this again. This time we can do it right.” Leaning forward, your lips meeting his. His hand moved to cup your cheek.

When you pull away you smile at him. “I love you, Jay Halstead. And I want nothing more than for you to be mine again. This time through thick and thin. I don't want to lose you again.”

“You never lost me y/n. I promise to love you till the end.” He says pulling you in for another kiss.

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longing-for-rain · 1 month

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What incident are you talking about that makes zk mad and have personal beef with you?

Actually now that I’ve done some investigating it’s unclear exactly who is mad at me because there are two cliques mad at me for opposite reasons.

Basically, I hold what I used to think was a very simple and uncontroversial opinion, which is that fiction is a great way to explore dark themes and topics, but at the same time, can spread harmful and insulting messages if these topics aren’t treated respectfully. Too much nuance for tumblr, apparently. Some people called me a terf for saying rape is bad and some people called me a pedo for so much as mentioning sexual themes in my writing. So we’ve got polar opposites here.

As for “incidents” I’ll give a brief overview under a cut because (warning) it involves sexual abuse and suicidal ideation.

To summarize:

I became active in the Zutara fandom during mid-late 2020 as a result of being online due to the pandemic. Just before the pandemic, I suffered a sexual assault and Zutara (ship and community) became a source of escapism and comfort for me

Shortly after becoming active on tumblr, I joined a fandom event and was paired up with a beta reader. This person proceeded to groom and sexually abuse me over the course of about a year. To put it in perspective, this occurred during the height of the pandemic and we were often on discord calls for hours every day. It was a very involved and predatory “friendship”. And I want to make this extremely clear—do not try to find this person. I’ll only answer questions about this in DMs if you legitimately have personal safety concerns. I don’t think they’re even active anymore and I’ve made peace with the fact I’ll never get proper closure or justice and any attempt will only result in more victim blaming and abuse. So please don’t bother. I’ve been over it

I didn’t realize what was happening to me was sexual abuse at the time, only that it hurt and that something was wrong. Due to the sort of culture I’d been sucked into, I wasn’t allowed to properly express my discomfort and had difficulty articulating what was wrong (being autistic doesn’t help there either). So every time I tried voicing discomfort, I was shamed into silence until it reached a breaking point

As I gradually started waking up to the fact I was being abused, I also, as a result, started unpacking some of the harmful ideas that were directly enabling my abuse and questioning them. This made my abuser angry; they felt their control slipping I imagine. I started exploring these ideas through my writing and asking questions about things. That made people angry

My abuser knew what they were doing. They were a self proclaimed “fandom old” and knew how these communities operate much better than I did at the time. So they got a notoriously loud and stupid Zutara stan angry with me, who proceeded to (predictably) write a bunch of unhinged tumblr rants and dogpile on me over discord. As a result, everyone in her clique also decided I was evil and scapegoated some other bullshit (at this point I don’t even remember everything I’ve been accused of) onto me. She also used sexually degrading language (I don’t think she knew this but it was word-for-word things that had been said to me by men who abused me in real life) and this resulted in me being triggered, suicidal, and it was a whole mess. Lots of people were fighting and there was even a rumor (I have no way of confirming this) that anti-Zutara people got in the mix because they enjoyed watching the infighting

I actually did attempt suicide once, and seriously considered it on a few other occasions. These people only used this as further evidence that I was crazy and couldn’t be trusted or believed

Then, as I stated increasingly using writing to vent about what I experienced, people got mad at me for that too. Even called me a pedo. I think that’s the worst part—that the message from all this is that women’s sexual assault and torture is meant for titillation and entertainment, but serious and meaningful exploration of it is forbidden

Currently, people still share out of context pieces of this story and act like I’m some horrible prude and/or pervert. People who don’t even know me spread rumors without asking me a single thing. They’re spineless and believe whatever their respective clique does. So that’s where I’m at

At this point I more or less keep to myself and focus on writing. I do really love writing and Zutara, and despite everything, it still did/does bring me comfort while dealing with the worst few years of my life. I also have received so much positive feedback about my writing—people telling me it helped them, it resonated, it made them see things in a new light. That’s meaningful to me so I continue doing it.

And I try not to take what happened too personally either. Over time I realized I’m not the first person they treated like this and I won’t be the last. That’s just how cliques work, and how people who are different are treated. Tale as old as time: once they’ve decided you’re a witch, they’ll burn you no matter what you say.

#tw sa #tw suicide mention #fandom drama #I guess #ask #anon

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ell-arts · 8 months

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If I may ask

What’s your approach on pac finally meeting his folks

For me,I feel like there’s gonna be a lot of tears…

Oh, definitely tears! If there are no tears then I'd be suspicious 😂

Man. Pac's reunion with his parents. That's a scene that I think we've all been waiting and hoping for.

The entire show gave it so much build-up and anticipation, it's such a disappointment that we didn't get to see it happen (for real) before the show stopped.

My approach would be to follow through on that build-up and write a reunion that gives it justice. Give it a deep and emotional impact, not too light-hearted but not too sappy either, at least not in a way that strips the scene of its believability and impact.

There are so many ways I could approach their reunion. So much so that I'll be open to changes and tweaks in order to polish it as much as possible. But if I ever get to a point of opportunity, then this is how I imagine it to go...

For his whole life, Pac has long hoped to one day be together with his parents again. The mystery behind their disappearance has haunted him for as long as he could remember. While he never got closure on WHY they vanished, he inevitably got to a point where he's accepted that they are gone and won't return. Essentially, he lost hope. But his world was thrown upside down when he found out that they could in fact still be alive, and may be held prisoner on an alien world.

Since then, his hope has been rekindled...but it almost got snuffed out by the clones-incident. Try to be in Pac's shoes; for a long time he's never gotten closure on his parents' disappearance and believed that they were dead, then he was told that they're actually still alive, and then out of the blue they 'return' and Pac felt the happiest he's ever been...until his hope was brutally crushed when it was revealed that his 'parents' were just Dr B's clones meant to fool him into jeopardising the Tree of Life.

I'd imagine that Pac got trust issues out of the incident. Not in terms of trusting people, but by putting his trust in 'hope,' because all that hope has gotten him was deception and a broken heart.

And because of this, when the time came for Pac to truly reunite with his parents... he was terrified.

He was scared over the possibility of it just being another stunt, another case of false hope. He may even think it was just a dream, or a nightmare in the making, because he was too scared to allow himself the liberty to believe that he finally had his family back.

In many ways, the same can be said for Zac and Sunny. Two souls who have been isolated from their kind for unprecedented years, enduring who-knows-what horrors in their time as prisoners on Pointyhead Planet, wanting nothing more than to be back home with their son.

So, for both sides, it's a moment of truth...

But as soon as the first step was made, when the first hug was embraced, all of their doubts and fears sizzled away.

When Pac was in their arms, letting it all sink in, tears streamed down his face.

And for the first time in a long time, he no longer had false hope.

He had his family.

#ask #pmatga #pacman and the ghostly adventures #pacster #Zac #Sunny

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altocat · 8 months

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As much as I love all the fleshing out of our boi (lil bit of a negative rant here) I dont really like how he was given an picture of his actual birth mother tbh

To me it kinda destroys the whole idea of Seph's uncertainty about her, how he never even saw his mother, never met her, never knew what she looked like, but only ever knew her "name", which is why when he meets "Mother" during the Nibelheim Incident years later, its such a big moment for him because thats what hes searched for his whole life, and now hes seeing "her" for the first time

Like I'm sure you can maybe find a way to change my mind since your pretty good at that stuff, but honestly Im not sure about this idea anyway (if they rlly wanted a photo, maybe it couldve been a very blurred photo of Lucrecia or Jenova or some Random Woman, but still im iffy on it)

Sorry for da ramble btw, I love your look into Sephiroth's character and I just wonder how you feel bout it

(my opinion plz dont be mad aaah)

No, no! That's all totally understandable.

I'm personally pretty split on the photo. On one hand, it's extremely on the nose and tbh I'd prefer if Seph was almost completely kept in the dark about his mother, rather than know what she looks like. I'd always been under the impression that he was completely kept in the dark. Now he at least has a kernel. And that can take away a lot of the punch.

That all said, I think the scene is more of a means of reminding casual fans that Sephiroth has some serious abandonment issues in relation to his mother. These are things I've been talking about for a long time, but the games are surprisingly meager when it comes to ever bringing them up. He has some serious mommy issues and always had. If it took an added scene with a photo to illustrate this to fans, good. That's fine.

It also adds a new layer of sadism in Hojo's upbringing of him. Hojo gave him the photo, but also completely lied and then refused to tell him anything. That's....incredibly evil. And messed up. Perhaps it shapes how Sephiroth sees Jenova. Perhaps it resembles Lucrecia to him. Or perhaps he thinks the photo is a complete lie by the time he finds things out, hence why Hojo never told him anything.

I don't think it breaks his backstory lore that much. It's more of a refresher to players that this child has been bereft of his mother since birth and is now fighting a war. Is it a bit clumsily handled? Yeah. And I can see some people really disliking this change. But it's not too much of a big deal for me. And hey, we got a new render of Lucrecia just in time for Rebirth. If Rebirth and Part 3 are set up as legitimate entries in the series, perhaps we will FINALLY get some Lucrecia-Sephiroth closure.

#asks #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #sephiroth #lucrecia crescent #ffvii ever crisis #ever crisis #ffvii first soldier #first soldier

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nebbychan · 3 months

Note

If nobody else has asked, can we get some more Modern!AU? Maybe Kiya or Canny Tim? If you're already working on it, feel free to ignore!

I did make mention of Kiya in my post about Modern!Daniel Fortesque, so it’s only fair that I describe her first.

Kiya

(30 years old)

Born and raised in Egypt, Kiya was deeply fascinated with her country’s ancient history and is a fervent advocate for the protection and preservation of history. She’s the kind of person that will yell at archeologists for digging up sarcophagi and opening them. She had considered going into archeology herself, though she had her eyes set on a more macabre field of study. Kiya traveled abroad to study mortuary science in Gallowmere, and upon graduating, found that she loved Gallowmere so much that she decided to stay and set up shop. She now works at the local mortuary and funeral home, she not only loves her line of work - being able to provide grieving families closure and respectable memorial services, but she’s also about to get promoted (and the position was open because her superior got fired).

There are times where Kiya misses her parents deeply, and does take the time to fly back to Egypt to visit them.

She met Dan at a museum, engrossed in her observations and viewing of Gallowmere’s historical artifacts on display. She didn’t know a whole lot about medieval history, and an offhand comment about how heavy a knights armor must’ve been, Dan couldn’t help but respond and talk about how knights were able to move around in armor. His excited explanations enthralled Kiya, as the two sat on a bench talking about history for hours. Their conversation was so deep and intense that the two lost track of time and nearly got themselves locked in past closing time.

After that, they decided to meet up again for lunch the next day, exchanged numbers, and the rest is history. They’ve been going on strong for a few years now, taking their time and currently there’s talk of Kiya moving in with Dan since he works from home and her job is a shorter commute from there.

Other Facts

- Kiya never knew her birth mother, as far as she’s concerned, her stepmother is her mother

- Kiya started dressing goth once she traveled abroad to study (and meeting Dan, she suspects he might have a thing for goth girls)

- Has tried and failed many times to convince Dan that her workplace isn’t haunted, stemming from an incident where Kiya had to get her car repaired and so Dan happily offered to come pick her up from work. He wandered into cold storage while she was getting ready to clock out, heard a body sigh, freaked out, and then she had to be the one to drive because he was beyond frightened; Dan stayed the night at her apartment

- Her fascination with mortuary science came from reading a book all about mummification, which then led to her becoming interested in funerary practices all over the world

- Loves horror movies, particularly 80’s slasher films; the campier, the better. She and Dan had a movie date at her apartment to watch/riff on Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 and now quote, “Garbage Day!” on a regular basis

#medievil #medievil 2 #sir daniel fortesque #modern au

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roobylavender · 5 months

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someone posted this panel regarding oliver vs bruces parenting taking a jab at bruce that seems funny enough, like we can just like the post and move on but i checked the notes and apparently fans of each family are at war arguing with each other😭mostly shitting on bruce because oliver is the better parent and somebody brought up how when queen and his kids were having issues at some point that it was ooc and while i am not super well read on GA stuff i can definitely buy that, but what i dont understand is why that isnt allowed for bruce. i saw tags concerning the other horrible things bruce has done as like a gotcha to bat fans and its like why are only his comics the ones we take at face value as 100% accurate and in good faith am i wrong for finding this dumb😭

not at all i totally agree it’s dumb lol 😭 the thing that confuses me about the bruce v oliver debate is that i don’t get why there’s a need to compare when their parenting issues are at completely different ends of the spectrum. granted i do think both of them have issues with communicating but those stem from different things. every problem bruce has as a parent has to do with how he neurotic he is about being a parent to begin with. he cares too much, he worries constantly, he carries reams of guilt, etc. he’s constantly arguing within himself whether to keep the people he loves close so he can make sure they’re safe or to let them go so they can pursue their own dreams and aren’t put in harm’s way bc he asked them to stay. he’s like, a conditional-helicopter parent, in the sense that the helicopter gene only activates when people are in his city, which is why he allows them to walk away bc then it means he’s not trying to control them (except we obv know that leads to the problem where they feel like he’s pushed them away bc they think he thinks they’re not good enough)

oliver to me in comparison is someone who initially did not take parenthood seriously enough and almost treated it like he did any other relationship. unlike bruce, he was very intentional with treating roy like an equal—when i use that modifier at the beginning what i mean to say is that bruce was very cognizant of his position as a parent. dick’s safety was a higher priority than was dick’s self esteem (at least beyond the zucco incident which had a very specific goal of closure) even though bruce very much came to believe that dick was his equal, esp as an adult—and to the extent that when roy got into serious trouble with drugs oliver not only expressed this sort of condemnatory disappointment but also only expressed pride at roy having recovered from his addiction later on bc it was something he did on his own. he respected roy’s responsibility and maturity even though realistically as a parent he should have stepped in to help bc roy was still barely an adult and he had fallen prey to drugs bc oliver left him alone in the first place

those are both styles of parenting that i think you can criticize. there’s pros and cons to being too protective of your children vs not protective enough. and i think people tend only to criticize the former style and its example in bruce bc a recovery of his relationships with his children has never been the goal in the way that it is for oliver’s writers. which is a shame bc i really don’t think you or i believe bruce is as intentionally selfish as writers portray him to be. but alas 😭

#outbox

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heecase · 1 year

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Midnight Rain Chapter 7: The Truth and Closure

Synopsis: You've always been a planner. You had your whole life planned out, but Heeseung breaking up with you for a chance to become an idol wasn't apart of your plan. So now you're stuck with supporting him from afar. Until a college boy sweeps you off your feet. Everything was supposed to be perfect. Then why were you still yearning for your first love? Pairing: Idol! Heeseung x Fem! Reader; Nonidol! Yeonjun x Fem! Reader Word Count: 4.4k Genre: Angst, Fluff Warnings: Blood and Death Mentioned; Drug Overdose; Alcohol Poisoning; Nightmares and Panic Attacks;

A/N: The story is all fiction, please don't take any depictions of the boys to heart. New chapters will be uploaded once a week. Any feedback is welcomed! Please enjoy~

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The eerie silence in the room was almost deafening. You didn’t understand how you got here or how things ended up like this. All you know is that you’re standing in a pool of blood. A limp body was laying face down in the middle as the liquid continued to ooze from the veins that were cut. You didn’t want to admit it but the body looked familiar.

With shaky breaths, you forced your legs to move one step at a time, over to the body. You wanted to know who it was. A loud shriek forced its way out of your lungs as you fell backwards, hitting the wall in the process.

Heeseung.

The body belonged to Heeseung.

His lifeless eyes stared at you as tears started streaming down your face. How did this happen? Why was this happening? You wanted to do something, anything to help him but you couldn’t move your body. Your voice wasn’t working and all you could do was sit there and watch the blood continue to drain from his body. You were frozen in place and terrified.

“I told you this wasn’t over.” Yeonjun’s voice filled your ears as you felt a sharp object pierce your neck.

“Y/n! Wake up!” Chaewon yelled, shaking your body aggressively. Your eyes bolted open as you frantically scanned the room for any sign of Heeseung and Yeonjun. Once you realized that what you saw wasn’t real, you looked back at Chaewon before bursting into tears. “Oh, sweetie. It was just a nightmare. You’re okay now.”

“I hate this Chae. Why does he keep torturing me like this? Why can’t he just leave me alone?!” You cried, hugging the small girl harder.

“I’m so sorry. I wish I could make the nightmares go away.” She sighed, stroking your hair.

It’s already been a week since the incident with Yeonjun outside your company and your nightmares have only been getting worse. At first, you would only see him yelling at you, or hurting you but now Heeseung has started appearing and in your nightmares, neither one of you makes it out alive. You’re terrified to fall asleep because you can never sleep for long before you wake up screaming and crying. The overwhelming emotions, plus the lack of sleep, is making you feel like you’re going crazy.

“I know I keep asking, but is there not anything we can do to help stop the nightmares?” Chaewon asked, handing you a cup of warm tea to ease your nerves.

You took a sip of the warm liquid before answering. “I wish I knew. I’ve been having them every night since the day I left the apartment and they’ve only been getting more and more gruesome. Especially the past few nights.” You sighed in defeat until a moment popped into your head. “The only night I didn’t have a nightmare was…” You trailed off, thinking back to the night you fell asleep in Heeseung’s arms.

“Well? What did you do differently?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow at you, urging you to continue.

“Um… I’m sure it isn’t what I’m thinking of but…” You felt the blush creep up your neck as you tried to force the words out.

“Y/n, come on. We tell each other everything and if this is something that can help you actually sleep, I think it’s very important.” Chaewon urged, growing impatient.

“It was the night Heeseung and I drank some beers together and he held me as I fell asleep. That was the only night I didn’t have nightmares.” You took a sip of your tea, trying to avoid eye contact with the girl who’s glaring holes into the side of your face.

“So you’re telling me that all we have to do to stop your nightmares is to have Heeseung sleep with you?”

“Chae! It’s not like that!” You whined.

“I didn’t say it was like that. You’re the one thinking weird thoughts.” She giggled, clearly enjoying your embarrassment. “If that’s the case, then why are you staying at my place? You should be at Heeseung’s dorm so he can cuddle your nightmares away.”

“Chae, can you be serious please! You know I can’t stay there. What if people found out? Heeseung’s career is on the line. All of Enhypen’s career is on the line. I can’t be selfish like that.” You bit the inside of your cheek as you continued to convince yourself that you’re doing the right thing.

“I’m going to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me okay?” She questioned, suddenly serious. You nodded. “Do you still love him?”

“What? We only dated in highschool. I-it was so long ago and I’m not even sure if I remember all the details but we broke up so he could become an idol. And he did, so I think everything that has happened, happened so that we can be where we are right now.”

“Y/n, what are you talking about? That’s not what I’m asking. I want to know if you’re still in love with him or not cause I know for damn sure he’s still in love with you.” She scoffed, placing her mug on the nightstand.

“What are you talking about? Heeseung is not in love with me. We’re friends that’s all.” You explained, but even you didn’t believe in the words that were leaving your mouth.

“If he isn’t then why did he come running to you when you called? Why did he take a beating for you when Yeonjun was hurting you? He’s an idol. He knew he would get in trouble for getting into a fight and he still did it. Because it was for you. If that’s not love then I don’t know what is.”

“To be fair, the text I sent him was meant for you. But also I would do the same for you and I know you would do the same for me too. So what’s the difference?” You reasoned.

“Y/n, please stop being in denial. You know there is a difference.” She rolled her eyes.

“I can’t be in love with him and I don’t want him to continue to do things that will jeopardize everything he’s worked so hard for.” You concluded.

“Sweetie, I love you and I love that you care so much about the people around you but for once in your life. Can you be selfish? If not for yourself then for him. He loves you so much and all you’re doing is breaking his heart by not accepting your feelings for him. I can see it too, you know. The feelings you’re suppressing because you’re scared of the consequences. I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do but I really encourage you to follow your heart. Just this once.” She watched as you stared at your cup of tea, completely speechless from her speech. You knew she was right but you didn’t know what to do. Chaewon sighed as she patted your shoulder, before leaving the room.

A few sleepless nights passed before you decided to take a chance and talk to Heeseung about your issues. You didn’t want to be a bother so you suggested you cook some lunch for all the boys. Mainly as a thank you for everything they’ve done for you. So that’s how you ended up in the boys dorm kitchen, with six pairs of eyes on you as you cooked one of Heeseung’s favorite dishes.

“Noona, everything smells so good!” Sunoo exclaimed as he stared at the Beef Katsu's that were currently resting on a rack.

“It’s been so long since we’ve had a home cooked meal. Thank you for doing this.” Jay commented, as he paced around the kitchen. He’s been monitoring the progress, aka, he’s making sure you don’t burn their dorm down.

“Of course! It’s the least I could do after everything you guys have done for me.” You smiled, as you started chopping up the veggies that will accompany the dish.

“It was no problem, but if you want to continue coming over to cook for us. I wouldn’t be opposed.” Sunghoon winked at you as he stole a piece of carrot from the chopping board and popped it in his mouth. You just giggled at his attempt to flirt.

“Hey! You have to wait for her to get done like the rest of us!” Jake pouted, when you didn’t scold him for stealing food. Sunghoon stuck his tongue out at the Aussie boy as he continued to frown.

“Okay children, please don’t fight.” You giggled at their antics.

“I am not a child.” Sunghoon stated, suddenly serious.

“Then stop acting like one.” Jake rolled his eyes at the taller male before dragging him back over to the dinner table.

“No but seriously. Noona, you should come over more often. We miss having you around.” Niki said, looking up from his phone to join the conversation.

“I would love to, boys but I think it’s too dangerous. What if the media finds out that a girl has been coming and going from your dorm?”

“I don’t think it’s a big deal if you come in through the back way like we do. As long as you know the passcode, no one will stop you and you can come and go without being seen.” Jungwon chimed from his seat at the table. All the boys turned to look at you with expecting eyes as you gnawed on your bottom lip. How were you going to talk your way out of this one?

“Guys, stop pressuring her. She’s not our maid or personal chef. If she wants to come over then she will but I don’t need you guys guilt tripping her into coming over if she doesn’t want to.” Heeseung said, walking into the room with a camera in hand.

“Hyung, you’re no fun.” Sunoo pouted as he scurried away.

“What’s that for?” You questioned as Heeseung started taking pictures of the food on the island along with you and the boys.

“Memories.” Heeseung smiled as he continued to take pictures. You smiled at his sentimental side but quickly put on a straight face when you noticed Jake looking at you with a smirk. Finishing the last side dish, you started to plate each one with Jay’s help. The younger boys set the table as the older ones stood around and watched. Making Jungwon whine at how unhelpful they were. You giggled as you placed down the last plate. You’re going to miss the banter that these boys get into. There’s really never a dull moment in their dorm.

“Woah, noona this is delicious.” Sunoo gushed as he popped another piece in his mouth. The rest hummed in response as they continued to devour the food in front of them. You smiled at the hungry boys before glancing at Heeseung, who was staring at you. He didn’t say anything but his eyes alone made you flustered.

“I’m glad you like it!” You hummed as well when you tasted your creation.

“Next time, I wanna help out too!” Niki said with determination.

“Me too!” Sunoo chimed, while raising his hand.

“No, please. My precious kitchen can’t handle that much chaos.” Jay pleaded, as the rest laughed. You didn’t want to ruin the mood so you just smiled at them and nodded along to their suggestions.

After lunch, some of the boys wanted to rest. While Jake and Sunghoon did the dishes, after losing an intense battle of rock paper scissors. You and Heeseung went to lay down in his room.

“Thank you for cooking today. Everything was so good and I’m sorry about the boys.” Heeseung said, breaking the silence.

“It’s no problem and I don’t mind the banter. All of the boys are really endearing.” You smiled up at the ceiling.

“I’m glad you get along with them so well. But about what Jungwon said…” He trailed off, turning onto his side to look at your face. “I’ll text you the passcode so you can come over whenever you want.”

“Hee, I still don’t think it’s a good idea.” You sighed.

“Y/n, please. You don’t have to come over often but I still think it would be nice to have you over every now and then. And the boys do actually really miss you. Niki and Sunoo won’t leave me alone and keep asking me when you’ll be back. Jungwon gives me a look every time I get a text because he knows it’s from you. And even Jay, Jake and Sunghoon mention you from time to time.” He grabbed your hand and started to play with your fingers as you thought.

“I’ll think about it okay?” You compromised. Heeseung hummed in agreement as a smile graced his lips. You looked over at him and he almost took your breath away with how beautiful he was.

A comfortable silence engulfed the room when the chime of your phone disturbed it. You looked over to see a text had popped up. Is this Y/n? You stared at the message for a minute before opening the messaging app to see it came from an unknown number.

Who is this? You replied.

Soobin, I don’t know if you remember me from the housewarming party but I’m Yeonjun’s friend. You read the message over and over again, scared to respond because you didn’t know what he wanted. Yeonjun is in the hospital and he’s asking for you. Your eyes widened at his message. A million questions popped into your head as you waited for him to continue. Please, I don’t know what happened between you two but he drank enough alcohol to give himself alcohol poisoning. The doctors had to pump his stomach twice and he’s currently sedated because he keeps ripping out his IVs. Every time he wakes up he just asks if you came to see him and when I tell him you’re not here he starts crying. Y/n, I don’t know what to do. Please come see him.

Your hands started shaking as you read Soobin’s messages. Why was he doing this to himself? You didn’t understand what was going through his head. You squeezed your eyes shut as you contemplated what to do. You hated that after everything that has happened, you still want to go see him. You still want to believe that the Yeonjun you fell in love with was still in there and he needed you right now. But you were still scared. You didn’t have the courage to face him alone and you didn’t have the guts to ask anyone to go with you either. You squeezed your eyes shut as you contemplated what to do.

Heeseung wrapped his arms around you and buried your face into his chest. “What are you going to do?” He asked as you hugged him back and breathed in his scent to help you calm down.

“I don’t know if I should or not.” You said honestly. “We have so much history and I know it’s stupid especially after everything he’s done but I can’t help but worry about him. I’m worried that if I leave him alone, he’s going to drink himself into an early grave and I don’t know if I could live with myself if that does happen. Especially if I could’ve prevented it from happening.”

“As much as I don’t want you anywhere near him, I’ll respect your decision. Whichever you choose. But if you’re going to see him, then I’m coming with you.” He insisted, leaving you no room to argue. You simply nodded as you hugged him tighter.

You took a deep breath in as you stood in front of the door leading to Yeonjun’s room. Heeseung grabbed your hand and gave you a reassuring squeeze, before opening the door for you. You walked into the room and immediately spotted him in the corner bed. His bed was propped up as he laid there staring out the window. Soobin was sitting in a chair by his bed, playing a game on his phone. Neither of them looked over when you entered the room. It wasn’t until you approached the edge of his bed, that Yeonjun turned and looked at you with the saddest, lifeless eyes you’ve ever seen.

“Y/n.” Your name used to sound so delicate coming from him but now it just sounds heavy.

“Yeonjun.” You replied, not knowing what to say to a man who has been broken in more ways than one.

“You came.” He smiled slightly, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Yeonjun, why? Why are you doing this to yourself?” You asked, holding back the tears that were threatening to escape. The defeated look in his eyes broke your heart into a million pieces.

“I don’t know…” He replied, looking down at his hands. You could see tears fall from his eyes as he tried to make them stop by wiping aggressively at his face.

“Please, tell me what you want. Tell me what you want me to do to help you. I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself.” You begged as you approached his bedside. Heeseung stayed at the front of the bed, keeping an eye on the situation.

“Y/n, I don’t know who I am anymore. I just know that I love you so much and I fucked that up. I can’t be without you. Everything hurts. Y/n, please just make it stop. Make it stop hurting.” He begged as he pounded on his chest. You pulled him into a hug to stop him from beating himself up.

“Yeonjun, I’m so sorry. I wish we could go back to how things were but we can’t. It’s too late for us. I need you to understand that.” You pulled away to look into his eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. That was the last thing I wanted to do. I don’t know what came over me. Please, you have to believe me.” Yeonjun pleaded, avoiding your gaze as you tried to comfort him.

“I know you’re sorry now and I’m sorry too. I said a lot of things that hurt you and I really regret that. Can we move on from this? Be friends at least?” You asked in a last attempt to make amends.

“Yeah. I would like that.” He smiled at you before looking over at Heeseung. “I’m sorry for hitting you.”

“Me too.” Heeseung replied, looking visibly calmer than when he first walked in the room.

“Take care of her for me.” Yeonjun said, before giving your hand a gentle kiss. Heeseung only nodded in response. “Thank you for coming to see me.”

“Anytime.” You said, brushing his hair away from his eyes. You caressed his cheek one last time before standing up and leaving the room with Heeseung on your tail.

“Y/n, wait.” Soobin said after you left the room. “Can we go somewhere and talk?” You looked over at Heeseung and with his approval, you turned back to Soobin and nodded.

You three made your way over to the visiting area and sat down at an empty table in the corner. Soobin looked over at Heeseung nervously before looking back at you.

“Hee, could you go get us some coffee please?” You asked, thinking Soobin wanted to talk to you in private. Heeseung nodded, understanding your intent.

“I’ll be back.” He said, giving you a kiss on your temple before leaving. Soobin’s eyes followed him until he was out of ear shot before speaking.

“I think you should know the truth behind what’s going on with Yeonjun.” Soobin started. “When I got to the hospital Yeonjun was already sedated and they were pumping his stomach. The doctors asked me how long he’s been using drugs and what kind it was and I didn’t know what to tell them. They told me he overdosed on the drug, while he was intoxicated.”

“What are you talking about? Yeonjun never did drugs.” You gasped.

“He hid it from you but he started using it when he first started associating himself with the others at his current company. It was probably even before they founded the company. He would tell me that the investors would make them all do the drug during their team dinners, but I knew it wasn’t the truth. He was already addicted when I found out, so I knew he was already using from way before that. He knew you would tell him to quit or sign him up for rehab if you knew, so he told me to never let you find out. I don’t think he wanted to keep living this way but the drug was so far into his system, he didn’t know how to function without it.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“That would explain why he suddenly changed so much after he left his first company and joined this one.” You thought out loud.

“After you broke up with him, he went crazy. He was over at my place and he would be talking some crazy shit. He said he would do anything to get you back and he didn’t care if he had to kill to do it. I told him to chill. It’s not the end of the world and that you had a valid reason for wanting to end things with him but he wouldn’t listen.” He sighed, still frustrated at the past.

“I loved him, but there was no way in hell I was going to sit around and let him treat me like trash. I tried so hard to make it work but he just wouldn’t. After he beat me up the day we broke up, I swore I would never let him treat me like that again.” You said, tears falling from your eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I should’ve told you about all of this sooner. The doctors also mentioned that the drug he was using can cause the user to become violent after extended use. I’ve already yelled at him about it and I told him he can’t go back to that company. I made sure he sent in his resignation letter too.” Soobin said quickly before continuing. “It was really bad Y/n, they would make him drink and take drugs and then he would be forced into doing whatever the daughters of those investors wanted. He literally had no idea what he was doing but he was too scared to tell you about it. I think when everything started crashing down on him and you found out the cheating part, he panicked and the drug made him violent. He hasn’t been on the drug for a while but he hasn’t been dealing with the withdrawals well either.”

“I wish I knew all of this was going on. I feel like I could’ve helped him in some way and he wouldn’t have ended up like this.” You looked down at your hands as tears continued to stream down your face.

“ I know this is a lot but I wanted you to know the full story and that he really does love you. It’s breaking his heart but he knows what he did was wrong and that there’s nothing more he can do to make up for it. And the least I can do for him is make sure he gets help. So don’t worry, I’ll get him clean and he can start over.” Soobin stated, reaching over the table to take your hand and giving you a reassuring squeeze.

“Thank you, Soobin. He’s really lucky to have a friend like you.” You smiled at him once more before standing up and bidding him goodbye. You walked towards the entrance and immediately ran over to hug Heeseung once he was in your view.

“I’m proud of you for everything you’ve endured.” He said, kissing the top of your head. You just hugged him tighter to calm yourself down.

“Take me home please.” You whimpered.

You were quiet on the drive back to the dorm, not knowing what to make of the new information you were just given. All of the what ifs were swimming in your head and you were starting to feel lightheaded. Heeseung noticed your mind spiraling and reached over to grab your hand. You intertwined your fingers as you gave him a small smile in return. Once you returned to the dorm, Heeseung pulled you over to the sofa and cuddled you while you continued to mull over everything that had happened.

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked, playing with a strand of your hair.

“I think so. I just wish I knew sooner. Maybe things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did if I had known.” You sighed, hugging him tighter.

“I feel awful for what’s happened to Yeonjun, but I don’t want things to have been different. If he didn’t do what he did then you wouldn’t be here with me right now.” He pouted, when you looked up at him with a concerned expression.

“You can’t be selfish like that, Heeseung. Not with someone else's life.” You pulled away to look at his face and he whined from the loss of contact.

“I can’t help it. I want you all to myself and he was standing in my way.” He crossed his arms as he continued to argue his case.

“You’re impossible.” You sighed, before uncrossing his arms to cuddle against him again. Making him hum in content.

“Oh right. What was it that you came over to talk to me about?” He questioned.

“Uh… Nothing!” You exclaimed, burying your face into the fabric of his t-shirt.

“Are you sure it’s nothing?” He raised a brow as he looked down at you. When you started shaking your head, he took the opportunity to start tickling the information from you.

“Heeseung! Stop!” You giggled, while trying, and failing, to push his hands away.

“Tell me the truth!” He chuckled as he continued to attack your sides. In an attempt to get away from him, you pushed yourself off the couch and fell onto the floor. “Y/n! Are you okay?” Heeseung reached out to pull you back up as you winced from the pain in your tailbone.

“No. My tailbone hurts.” You whined as Heeseung looked at you apologetically.

“I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay.” You chuckled. “It’ll heal in no time.”

Heeseung pulled you back into his side as he rubbed your side to soothe your pain.

“I’m still not going to tell you though.” You said as you quickly stuck your tongue out at him before jumping off the couch and running away.

“Get back here!” He chuckled, running after you.

Taglist: @nobodyshallenter @sunsunl0ver @huening-ly @qeen123 @carmendanny2

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