i keep needing to remind myself that my parents are allowed to have priorities and are under no obligation to coddle me at all times, but i don't know i guess it still kind of hurts to be incompatible with them like that. i don't hate my parents, i get along with them quite well actually. but living with them is hellish. i don't know why i'm fucked up like that but so far it seems to have been pretty consistent since birth so. i don't think im getting out of it.

Rise of the Guardians

I can only imagine this is a request for Hymns and not just…asking what I think of the movie? (Because I love it. Jack Frost and Periwinkle from Secret of the Wings was a fluffy ship I had for a short bit.) I hope you enjoy this little blurb. It's a little...angsty.

(Literally poor timing as today is Halloween and this is set in December but idgaf.)

TW: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Eddie and Reader/OC have a little fight and then reconcile, but with a supernatural element involved.

Find Hymns of Heaven here.

And find the Master List for As Above, So Below here.

December 1984

Your night-in wasn’t supposed to be like this.

But that's what he always thought when the two of you fought. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Not with you.

And inevitably...it wasn't.

A little verbal tousle never led to anything disastrous or relationship-ending. It was just...him. His abandonment issues. His need to be...needed.

The night started pretty normally. December, talks of Christmas, a last-minute visit to K-Mart before it closed to get hot cocoa (and fuck around in the toy aisle because you both were still kids inside after all), and then you regaling Eddie with the origins of Santa Claus as he flipped through your shoebox full of cassettes for something decent to listen to.

"...the story of Saint Nicholas of Myra is cool, but I always liked the legend of the Guardians better."

"Guardians?" Eddie asked, only semi-present as he stared at the faded track listing on one tape to see just what it was.

"I read it in a book once," you explained. "The Guardians of Childhood. They're meant to protect children."

You went on and on and explained each of the Guardians, who they were and what they did. Wonder and memories and special surprises made with magic and happiness. Your hands gestured wildly as you spoke and it was easy to see the sparkle in your eyes as the street lights illuminated your face every so often.

But the longer you went and the more Eddie heard, the worse he felt.

The Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus.

He'd been hearing about them for most of his childhood. All of it. Heard about them, though. Never experienced.

He'd always felt...slighted.

Now, as an adult...hell...even back in his childhood he knew. Knew that those things weren't real.

When he lost a tooth growing up, his mom would pull together a handful of change from the tip jar at Benny's for the Tooth Fairy to leave him. He could hear her count the coins as he laid awake in bed, hoping to catch the elusive sprite that first night. He always said he lost the teeth from that point on, not wanting to be burdensome.

His family didn't celebrate Easter. He'd heard all of the "he is risen" crap from church-going classmates growing up. He always questioned how it tied in with rabbits and eggs and chocolate, with no definitive response. At best, he and Wayne indulged in Cadbury Eggs as a special treat every year, with a few stashed away at the back of the freezer whenever the mood struck. But the meaning of the holiday was lost on him.

And his dad had pretty much dashed all illusion of Santa Claus immediately when he was younger. He couldn't remember a time when there had been any extra gifts under their mediocre tree.

"Isn't it amazing?" you asked by the time you were climbing the steps and entering the trailer. “Like…ok…admittedly I kind of think kids are the worst but…Guardians protecting the innocence of children. It deserves to be protected.”

“Does it?” He asked flippantly as you went on about how fun it would be to go to the North Pole one day and see if Santa’s workshop was real. “Do they?”

“And he—w-what?” You furrowed your brow as you dropped the bag of cocoa and marshmallows on the counter in the kitchen.

“I don’t know about you,” he laughed dryly as he fell onto the couch. “But there was no one magical and fantastical protecting me. There was my mom, then Wayne and Rick, and now…now I look out for myself.”

“Eddie…I…” you looked like a deer in the headlights. At a loss for words.

He knew you didn’t mean any harm with your story, but he couldn’t help but bicker and bitch and yell. And when he finally turned his frustration onto you instead of his situation, your expression got darker. Because you weren’t going to stand there and take this misplaced anger.

And that’s all it was right? Bickering and picking and mourning the loss of a childhood and a loss of innocence in both of you. You had more in common than you had differences—

Shitty, absent parents whose only priorities were themselves.

A guardian who sacrificed everything for you, to their own detriment.

The obvious fact that you were different from everyone else and there was nothing you could do to change that.

The idea that you were the only ones in the world who could understand each others plight.

—it’s just when you got to feel bad for yourselves that it all turned to shit. Unable to see what the other saw because you couldn’t see past yourselves.

So, back and forth you both went. Deeper and deeper. You didn’t understand. No he didn’t understand.

“I would think,” you scoffed, tears streaming down your cheeks. “That you, out of everyone, would feel some kind of…kinship with this. I didn’t say it to make you feel bad Eddie. You protect all of those kids. Your friends. Me. Instead—”

“You’ve made it very clear, the only person you need to protect is yourself. You only care about yourself. Otherwise why…why would you keep all of these secrets from me?”

You choked a sob. It shook your entire body.

And suddenly he didn’t see red anymore.

He saw…you, his girlfriend, who knew how much he enjoyed magic and fantasy and whimsy as an escape. You, who enjoyed all manner of monsters and cryptids and tall tales as a way to connect with the world around you that, most times, didn’t want to connect back.

You, who didn’t deserve to be on the receiving end of his bullshit.

After Eddie’s dad got sent away, his mom had a better head on her shoulders when it came to arguments. To protect herself, protect him. She always chose to walk away from a fight with Rick when one of them got mean. And taught Eddie to do the same.

“You’re gonna hear people say, don’t go to bed angry,” she told him once, as she tucked him into bed after a verbal tousle. He’d asked if they were ever gonna see Rick again. “But that just encourages people to fight more until it’s over. You want to go to bed. Because the Sandman will bring good dreams and help you realize how silly it all was in the first place.”

And that was the philosophy you both had agreed to after your first fight, over Mountain Dew of all things.

So he knew, now, once you controlled your tears, controlled your breathing, that was what you were planning to do. And he couldn’t object. Keys in hand, coat shrugged back on so you could trek out to your car. No goodbye. Because sleep would make it all better.

It had to.

He’d just sat down with his head, full of regrets, in his hands when you knocked on the door, needing to get back in.

“Car won’t start,” you whispered, unable to look him in the eye.

“I can take a look in the morning,” he offered weakly. “You can have my room. I’ll sleep on Wayne’s bed, not like he’s here to mind.”

The two of you went through the motions, calming yourselves down but still not ready for a kiss goodnight.

Eddie fell asleep with the sound of your soft sobs echoing in his ears, whether they were real or imagined.

It was Pitch Black and his thoughts swirled around him.

Literally.

They took the form of spectral creatures, smoky and abyss-like phantasms that grabbed and pinched at his skin.

He was tied down on the ground, held by each of his limbs, by his throat. He choked on his apologies.

“Please please, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way I did.”

They bit and pulled and tore at pieces of him. Filled his mind with dark thoughts. Images of you crying, screaming, burning in fire.

“Please no. Forgive me. I fucked up. I fucked up.”

And then…

They stopped.

He was released in a puff of smoke, the inky, insidious tendrils evaporated and he was left to lay…on a glowing golden cloud.

Eddie looked around and saw…in the distant darkness…another cloud lazily approached. And on it there was a rotund little man with glowing skin and a beatific smile. His eyes crinkled as he got close enough to Eddie where their two clouds merged to become one.

“Who…are you?” Eddie asked dumbly. “Is…”

The man grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet.

“Is she ok?” He felt relieved when the man nodded sympathetically. “Where are we?”

The man’s eyes closed and the void they were in brightened to reveal…

Unicorns and sword-wielding elves and a palace spire that reached the sky. A stage with a crowd of roaring fans, a large gaming table with a group of eager participants, a comfy sofa and a coffee table with a bowl of popcorn and two steaming mugs of cocoa resting atop it.

All made of golden dust.

“Dreams,” he muttered. “My dreams.”

One of the man’s hands landed on Eddie’s shoulder and the other over his heart. He pressed down carefully and raised a brow in question.

“I do love her,” he whispered to the man, easily able to understand despite the silence. The man patted his hand twice. “And I know. She loves me too.”

The man’s brow became stern and his fist clenched then knocked on Eddie’s chest again. Eddie frowned, and then the man huffed a sigh. Above his head gold dust swirled and suddenly…there you were. A tiny version of you with a sword in one hand and shield in the other. You slashed and hacked as the gold dust turned black and attacked you.

“She’s…” He nodded. “She’s protecting me.”

The man smiled and nodded, the little dust mirage disappeared.

His hands then went and cupped Eddie’s face. He leaned in close and pressed a kiss to Eddie’s forehead.

For the briefest second, Eddie felt the most serene than he had felt in his entire life.

And then it all disappeared.

He woke with a start, tears dripping down his face.

It was dawn, the living room glowed with the rising sun, and you were there. Puffy-eyed and somber, with your hands on his cheeks.

“Hey it’s ok,” you told him. “It was just a nightmare.”

“No, no,” he shook his head. “It’s…it was…it was a dream.”

“Yeah?” You quirked a smile at him. Before you could make a joke, he was upright, engulfing you in a tight hug. “You, uh…sure it wasn’t a nightmare?”

“I’m sure,” he spoke, words muffled in your neck as he willed himself to become one with you. To no avail, of course. Your hand ran over his back, through his hair and you let him have the time he needed.

“Did you know…” he finally spoke. “Did you know that the Sandman is a Guardian?”

You got stiff for a moment, body immediately on the defensive, but as he pulled away to look at you with—he hoped—an apologetic gaze, you relaxed.

“Oh yeah?”

It wasn’t an apology. He could get to that later. But it was enough of one for now, one that you were willing to accept.

“He is the Guardian of Dreams. And he…he doesn’t talk. Did you know that?”

“Well obviously he doesn’t want to wake anyone up,” you gave him a small nod and a smile.

Eddie thought about it for a moment.

“…that actually makes sense.” He pressed his lips to yours for briefly. “I was so…occupied with what I didn’t have that I forgot what it was that I did.”

“Your dreams?”

“Yeah.”

He’d always been a dreamer. Always thought of fantastical far away lands and the most epic future. Filled with adventure and laughter. Friends and fans.

But there was one dream that was his reality, and he would never forget it again.

“And you.”

Children and Santa headcanons for my boys:

Lance: "Are you excited for your first day of school? Good, now go tell all your enemies that Santa isn't real. I'll take you to get Ice cream this evening, alright buddy?"

Nevra: He's from a different culture but if you want to lie to your children about who these gifts are from then go ahead. He'll play along until the last bastion of faith fades from the kids as they catch mom with the tooth fairy money delivery and they meekly go to ask him: "Father, why was mom putting the money under my pillow?" He's sitting in the big leather sofa reading newspaper because he's goofy like that. "The tooth fairy isn't real." The kids gasp. "And what about the Easter bunny?" "Rabbits don't lay chocolate eggs. Don't eat anything that comes out of a rabbit." The kids eyes fill with tears, they sniffle. "Amd Samda???" He puts the newspaper down and beckons the kids into his lap because he wants to save on time when they inevitably start to cry. "No, he's not real either." Mom comes in the room and starts crying too because the kids are growing up too fast and she can't manipulate them with these fictional characters anymore. She joins the sad pile atop the man and Nevra is pissed that he doesn't have enough hands to caress everyone he loves simultaneously.

Leiftan: We all know what to expect. He's going to tell the kids that this mf lives on the north pole with a bunch of (slaves) Christmas elves and that he flies over the entire world to give little snotbags like them a few presents each. He's going to leave cookies on the counter that he knows for sure that he's going to love eating at 3 in the morning and he'll happily watch hid kids lose their shit over an empty plate. So nauseatingly sweet.

Ezarel: He only ever mentions Santa when he sees a big white beard. If you don't tell the kids who Santa actually is they'll have a very distorted perception of him.

Mathieu: He's not doing anything extra, he just tells the kids that if they're bad Santa's going to eat them.

Valkyon: He's not that well versed in Santa stuff because he was homeschooled or something. He can dress up as sexy Santa for you though, he looks great in red! You can go ahead and make more kids like that, with your feral whore husband.

How do both of your pairings manage Santa/Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny and things like that with their kid/s?

UGH. Nonny. This was SUCH a big issue for me IRL. Personally, I don't believe in selling these things to children. We always say it makes childhood "magical," but that's because we're lying about reality. I think we should teach them what real magic is, the love of the people who surround them, and sometimes even the outside world.

Ironically, I adore the concept of Santa Claus, and I cry every damn year when I watch Miracle on 34th St. (tradition! lol). But it's a fable and should be treated as such. Kids should know it's their parents/guardians/whoever loves them and is doing these nice things for them. It is a way to teach love and giving to others.

And what of poor children? You know, the ones who don't have the money for oodles of gifts under the tree? Do they assume they are "bad" because they get nothing or get much less than other peers? Heaven knows we demonize the poor enough; does this just help kids internalize feeling lesser?

I didn't want to do this with my kids, and I was overruled. I knew it was a mistake as one child was special needs, and when they learned (in a really bad way) that these were essentially lies it was not a good thing at all. (I said I told you so A LOT.) If I had it to do over again, I would NOT do it. I know it's not a popular opinion, but I stand by it.

Now... why can I totally imagine Ethan feeling the same way? When he discusses it with Kaycee, definitely understands his point (see Casey's reasons below, Kaycee is the same, remember) but takes a more "traditional American" approach to this. They compromise (kind of what I did, lol), and with Santa, they will have one gift from Santa under the tree in the morning. The rest will be from Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, etc. The focus will NOT be on gifts but on acts of service and love. And when the day comes, they will explain that Santa is sort of a metaphor for love, charity, and kindness, never meant to be taken literally. I think they'd skip the tooth fairy (part of the compromise) and just let the child know Mommy & Daddy will have something special for them in the morning.

Now... Tobias... I see him going full on Christmas and wanting to go all out with the tradition. I see Casey being the one who hesitates. Casey's family really struggled financially when she was a child. She lived in an area where many people lived in poverty, and she knows how the children who did without felt. (For her part, she was fortunate. Even for years, her parents couldn't afford gifts. She had aunts, uncles, and grandparents who were not wealthy but could step in and help). So I think they'd take a similar approach, Santa's part of the festivities, not the main focus. He leaves a gift and a stocking, but the big gifts come from Mom & Dad Grandma Vivian. Also, in their household, the religious aspect comes into play a bit more (it's not in the Ramsey household at all.) So it makes it easier to remove the focus.

Thanks for this ask - I'm sure you didn't want my dissertation. This has just always been an issue for me. lol

Flip’s Easter Surprise

Flip Zimmerman X Reader

A fun Easter idea

Easter was confusing for your Jewish boyfriend. You were a Baptist kid from the womb, so Easter was a major holiday for you; dare you to say your favorite. So, he knew all about the large Easter egg hunts that happened when you guys were kids, Easter dinners that took your mom all afternoon to prepare, and lastly just being together as a family. But since Flip was Jewish and an only child, he was essential to the last day of Passover activities. Meaning he could never join you for any Easters.

So, you started giving him little hints of Easter so that he could enjoy your holiday and enjoy his holiday.  Although he has known you for years, every Easter you try and surprise him with how much more outlandish you can become. Last year all the Easter bunnies had a shirt with the Star of David. Even some of the confetti eggs had a star. He enjoyed it very much, although it wasn’t his holiday. 

And now since you had your big girl job you decided to splurge on his Easter festivities. This year you plan on making a scavenger hunt where he has to find cigarettes, lighters, a new flannel/ jeans combo, and a surprise at the end. 

But buying and keeping stuff a secret from Flip is so hard. He loves to clean the cars every weekend. He loves surprising you with gifts, so he is always making sure you don’t have what he is about to surprise you with. And the biggest of it all he is a detective, so he picks up on the smallest things. I mean he has almost caught you multiple times already making you have to resort to leaving the gifts at my girlfriend’s house. 

Today is the day and he knew you were up to something but had no idea what exactly. So, while he is being distracted by Ron and the boys, you set up the hunt through both of your apartments (you know how religious parents are, we do not live in sin), your parent's house, and even something hidden at the station.

You had Ron slip him the first clue that would lead him to his first gift in his desk drawer. It had to be work-appropriate, so you slipped him 10 packs of his favorite cigarettes, which is only a week's worth but nonetheless appreciated. Since he has only vicariously experienced an Easter egg hunt through your stories, your next clue sent him to your apartment so he could do the rest with you. Plus, you wanted to see his reactions.

A knock on your door came 30 minutes after a call from Ron. “Hi Handsome,” you say, letting him come through the door. “Well now I know what you have been up to these past few weeks,” he says pulling you in his embrace with a quick kiss. “I cannot confirm or deny,” you say through a smile. 

“Okay, but I need to search for my next gift “Where I would find you stressing about your Easter Sunday outfit…” In other words, your closet.” He says moving towards your room. After a couple of mins of silence, you hear an “Aha” and some shuffling towards your living room. “Zeeskeit, you are too good to me. On top of my favorite cigarettes, you got my favorite lighters. I can’t even imagine how much of your check you spent on this.” He says while coming to sit next to you on the couch.

“Well don't get all sappy now, you still have a few more stops on your hunt. Do you understand your next clue?” You ask him with much excitement. “Oh yeah, easy. “Where my palms sweat although I have been there a million times...” Your parents' house, I will never not be nervous,” he says. “Which is ridiculous because they love you but come on let’s get this show on the road.” You say popping up from your position. 

“So, is this the last gift love? Not that I do not enjoy this, I just worry about your bank account.” He says while focusing on the road. “I am not sure,” you say, acting oblivious. “Hmph, fine,” he says as he lights a cigarette to ease his mind.

         Pulling up to your parent's home you could sense his nervousness. “Don't worry they are doing last-minute preparation at the church for tomorrow.” You say watching him visibly relax. “Okay, let’s go grandpa,” you say, teasing him for taking his time with this scavenger hunt.

         Walking around he finds the new flannel that you had gotten him. He walks over about to thank you before picking up the gift. But you stop him and say “No, no go pick up your gift first,” knowing there was another clue with it. “Ugh, more! Seriously I am going to need to pay you back for this.” He says as the perfect gentleman. 

         “Yeah, yeah, do you understand this clue?” You say, getting him back on the hunt. What can you say, you are anxious for what is last. “Okay, “Where we had our first kiss...” again very easy my love it happened in your treehouse 7th grade.” He says walking towards the backyard.

         Picking up his second to the last gift he seems relieved to see that the last note says there is only one more gift left. “Love, thank you for the new outfit. But I am ready to head home for this last gift.” He says pulling you into a hug. “Okay, handsome lead the way,” you say just as ready to get to his apartment.

         While driving to his apartment you turn towards Flip and ask, “Did you like the last clue?” He laughs, “Yeah, very subtle. “Where you make a certain girl’s legs feel like mush...” The gift is probably sitting on my bed as we speak.” He says with a smile.

         And was he right, after setting down his gifts he walked into his room to see a pastel yellow lingerie set that went perfectly with Easter. “So, would you like me to put that on, or was this all too much?” You say through a big smile. “No need for that my love, we will save it for later. Right now, I cannot wait to show my girl how much I appreciate her.” He says as he starts to shed your clothes. 

Boy did he show that appreciation. So much so it lasted till the late hours of the night. Almost making you late for Easter service and don't even get started about your slight limp. But you would do it all over again, anything to show love to your Handsome Flip.

 Zeeskeit: Literally “sweetness,” zeeskeit is a term of endearment you can use exactly as you’d use “sweetie” or “honey” in English.

I wanted to use a Yiddish pet name so I hope I used it in the right context.

Happy Easter if you celebrate!🐣

As always feedback welcomed ❤️

Easter Shenanigans

A/N: Happy Easter everyone! Here’s a small gift from me to you all <3 I hope you all have a wonderful Easter and please enjoy this DeanPharm fanfic! :D

Summary: After a call from his Mother, Pharm plans out a day full of Easter fun that he and Dean could do together. 

Word Count: 2593

Letting out a yawn as he began to stir, Pharm slowly pushed himself up and rubbed at his eyes, his brown orbs sparkling with sleep as the bright sun peeked through Pharm’s white curtains, telling him that it was going to be a nice day. Stretching and letting out a sigh as his back cracked, Pharm pushed himself out of bed and strolled towards the window of his balcony, pushing the curtains open and grinning, happy to see the bright blue skies with no clouds in sight. Pushing his bangs out of his eyes, Pharm perked up when he heard the sound of his phone pinging on his bedside table, alerting him that someone was texting him.

“Wonder who that could be,” Pharm thought, walking back towards his bed with a spring to his step. Sitting down, Pharm typed in his passcode and furrowed his brows when he saw about ten messages in the group chat that he, Team and Manaow had set up. Opening up the chat, Pharm couldn’t help the snort that escaped his lips when two pictures caught his attention. One was Manaow and Pruk, their faces painted as the Easter bunny, meaning they must’ve gone to a festival or something. The other picture was of Team and Win, both of them were wearing bunny ears and Team had chocolate all over his face as he held a half eaten chocolate rabbit. “Aw...no wonder the chat blew up. I wonder what P’Dean is up to.”

Not getting a chance to put his phone down, Pharm gasped when it began to ring, the caller id telling him that his mother was calling. Feeling a smile brightening his face, Pharm tapped the accept button and came face to face with his mom and brother. Grinning happily as he talked with them, Pharm blinked when he heard about their plans of the day, telling him about all the Easter festivities that were going on in the states. Letting out a hum as he thought about what his plans were, Pharm’s phone let out another ping and he just knew it was from Dean. Noticing the look on her son’s face, Pharm’s mother chuckled and wished him a Happy Easter, telling him to answer his boyfriend. 

“Okay...thanks for calling Mom. Take care of yourselves and I’ll try to call again soon!” Pharm giggled, waving to them before they ended the call, leaving Pharm to himself once again. Swinging his legs as he checked the text he got from Dean, Pharm bit back a giggle when his boyfriend asked what he was doing, obviously wondering if they could be together. Humming as he answered back, Pharm launched himself off his bed and began gathering some fresh clothes, throwing a towel over his shoulder as he skipped towards the bathroom, getting ready to step in the shower. “I think I know what we’re going to do today!”

Letting the warm water wash over his form, Pharm made sure he was clean as the ideas of what him and Dean could do swarmed around his head. The mall was open for a short while, so they could get materials there to dye some eggs and maybe see if any stores had those Easter lilies that his mom loved a lot. Rinsing the shampoo from his hair, Pharm turned off the water and wrapped the towel around his waist, using the spare towel to ruffle his hair dry. Slipping on his clothes, Pharm continued to ruffle his hair dry until he was satisfied, brushing it down and nodding to himself in the mirror. Tossing the towels over the shower to dry, Pharm stepped out of the bathroom and grabbed his phone, seeing that Dean was on his way to his condo. Dropping his phone into his pocket, Pharm made himself busy as he waited for his boyfriend to come, checking the fridge and letting out a sigh of relief when he noticed the amount of eggs he had. Hearing a knock on his door, Pharm shut the door to his fridge and jogged to the door, opening it and smiling when he came face to face with Dean, who was giving him a soft smile as well. 

“P’Dean!” Pharm giggled as Dean stepped in and pulled Pharm into his arms, hugging him gently. Burying his face into Dean’s shoulder, Pharm took in his boyfriend’s scent, feeling himself relax as they rocked side to side. Pulling away so he could fix Pharm’s bangs, Dean took in how he was dressed, arching a brow at the excited glimmer he could see in Pharm’s eyes. Grabbing the keys to his condo, Pharm laced their hands together and pulled Dean out of his room, not seeing the amused expression Dean was wearing on his face, yet not putting up a fight with being dragged out into the hallway. “I had some plans that we could do today...if that’s okay? Easter may not be a huge thing here, but Mom called and gave me some ideas of what we could do!” 

“I’m happy doing anything with you, Pharm. Where were you thinking of going?” Dean chuckled fondly, finally walking fast enough to stand side by side with his boyfriend, their hands swinging beside them. Biting his lip in thought, Pharm mentioned the mall, which was closing in a few hours but that still meant that they could get a few things to make the day special, right? Nodding, Dean squeezed Pharm’s hand and stayed silent as his boyfriend continued to ramble on about what they could do, not once noticing the smile Dean had on his face as he observed Pharm. “Okay, let’s hit the mall first then. Are we heading back here once we’re done?”

Nodding excitingly, Pharm let Dean lead him towards the car, blushing when Dean opened the passenger door for him, letting him get in before he shut it behind him. Getting into the driver side, Dean started the car and looked both ways, pulling out of his parking spot carefully as they began to make their way towards the mall. Not minding the slight traffic they faced on the way, Pharm could only play with his fingers as the events of the day made butterflies flutter in his chest. Finally getting to the mall, Dean searched for a parking spot while Pharm practically wiggled in his seat. 

“Found one. Come on, my Good Boy. Let’s go before you wiggle out of your seat,” Dean teased, smirking when a squeak escaped his cute boyfriend, Pharm quickly getting out of the car and waiting as Dean did the same. Lacing their hands together once again, Dean kept Pharm out of the way of oncoming cars and when they got inside the mall, Dean glanced at Pharm and smiled when Pharm met his eyes and smiled. “Where do you want to go first? Lead the way.”

“Let’s go to that one store that sells seasonal items! I was thinking maybe we could dye eggs? Oh! And I have this empty planter outside on my balcony! If they have some Easter lilies, we can get some and plant them!” Pharm listed off as he practically dragged Dean towards the store he mentioned, continuing to list some ideas they could possibly do before the day ended. Listening to everything Pharm was saying, Dean paused when they were in front of the store, Pharm obviously distracted from wherever his mind was. “Oh! We’re here...sorry, I was thinking too much. Let’s go in!”

Stepping in together, Pharm made sure to slow his pace so he wasn’t yanking Dean everywhere as they glanced over everything the store had that had something to do with Easter. Finding the egg dying kit while Dean went off to find the Easter lilies Pharm had mentioned earlier, Pharm held the kit to his chest as he continued looking, the two of them eventually finding each other. Holding two pots of Easter lilies, Dean chuckled at the look of amazement on Pharm’s face before they made their way towards the checkout counter. Giving a polite wai to the kind cashier, Dean thanked her for putting the lilies in a bag so they were easier to carry. Stepping out into the hustle and bustle of the mall, Pharm made sure to stay beside Dean until he spotted something that made him bounce and point.

“P’Dean! Look! It’s the Easter Bunny guy! Let’s see if we can take a photo with him!” Pharm pointed out, looking up at his boyfriend with glee, hoping he would say yes. Blinking as he took in what Pharm wanted, Dean snickered but nodded, letting Pharm help him towards the photo area, placing their bags down when they were directed to stand beside the Easter bunny. Posing nicely, Pharm quickly handed his phone to the photo people and let them take another photo, wanting to send it to the group chat whenever he got a chance so he could show what he and Dean did throughout the day. Giving the workers a wai when they handed Pharm the polaroid photo of him and Dean, Pharm grinned. “Thank you so much! Let’s leave now, P’Dean! I want to start our plans!” 

“Okay with me, let’s get going,” Dean agreed, picking up the lilies while Pharm carried the dying kit. Staying side by side in the busy mall, the two quickly exited and searched for Dean’s car in the parking lot. Finding it after five minutes, Dean carefully placed the items in the trunk before he helped Pharm into the passenger side. Getting in as well, Dean carefully pulled out of his spot and they began their trek back to Pharm’s condo. Not having so much traffic as they did before, Dean sighed in relief when they made it back without any incidents. “Okay, what did you want to do first?”

Getting out of the car and grabbing the stuff out of the trunk, Pharm led Dean up to his floor, entering his room while he held the door open for his boyfriend. Toeing off his shoes, Dean placed the lilies onto the dining table and shook out his arms while Pharm grabbed some hard boiled eggs he had from earlier, placing them next to the lilies along with opening up the dying kit. Sitting down side by side, Pharm read out the instructions while Dean got everything they needed. Setting up the little rack that the kit came with so the eggs can dry without getting disturbed, Pharm watched as Dean began to mix the colors. There were orange, blue, purple, red and green dyes. Testing it out first, Pharm dipped one of the eggs in the orange dye, letting the egg sit for a moment before he pulled it out, grinning when the egg’s white shell was now bright orange.

“P’Dean! Look! It’s so pretty!” Pharm giggled, showing Dean the egg while Dean just nodded and stared at Pharm fondly. Putting the egg on the rack, Pharm grabbed another egg while Dean did the same, working in silence as they dyed all the eggs. Finishing up the last egg, Pharm carefully placed it in the last spot on the rack and sat back in relief, the colorful shells making him happy. They had experimented on some of the eggs, a couple of them have two colors instead of just one. “We used most of the dye too! Let’s go wash our hands and then I’ll clean this up. Then we can plant the lilies, yeah?”

“Of course, my Good Boy,” Dean chuckled, pushing himself out of the chair as they stood up, keeping their hands from touching anything since there was dye on their fingers. Pressing a kiss to Pharm’s forehead as he strolled towards the kitchen, Dean bit back a snort when Pharm squeaked and darted towards the bathroom. Making sure their hands were clean and free from the dye, Dean gathered all the garbage up while Pharm carried it towards the garbage bin, tossing everything away. “You have dirt in the planter box, right?”

“Yeah! Here, let me carry one,” Pharm confirmed, taking one of the plants from Dean so that he didn’t have to carry both of them again. Opening the sliding door to his balcony, Pharm pulled the box close and made room for them to sit, placing the plants down in front of them. Parting the dirt in the box so that they had places to plant the bulbs, Dean sat back down and followed Pharm with carefully pulling the lilies out, keeping the roots in place as they did so. “Okay, let’s do this very carefully…”

Doing as he was told, Dean was careful as they began to plant the lilies, the dirt getting underneath their fingernails as they worked quietly, yet efficiently. Planting the last lily, Dean blew out a breath and went to wipe the sweat off his face, blinking when he heard Pharm giggle as he stared at him. Reaching out, Pharm stroked Dean’s face and broke down in laughter. Arching a brow, Dean glanced down at their hands when the realization hit, his eyes narrowing in a challenge. Seeing this, Pharm gulped and shook his head, letting out a yelp when Dean struck, squeezing his cheeks with dirt covered hands along with running his fingers along Pharm’s sides, making the boy cackle and protest at getting dirty. 

“Okay, okay. I’m done now. I think you learned your lesson,” Dean chuckled, pulling his hands away from Pharm’s sides as his boyfriend panted for breath, his bright grin making Dean smile as well. Whining when he noticed the dirt on his clothes, Pharm pouted which only amused Dean further. Standing up, Dean leant out a hand and helped Pharm up, dusting themselves off in an attempt to brush off the dirt on their hands and clothes. “Come on, let’s go inside and get cleaned up.”

“It’s your fault we need to be cleaned up,” Pharm pouted, making Dean snort and wrap his arm around Pharm, bringing him closer as they stepped inside Pharm’s room.  Staring up at Dean with the pout still heavy on his lips, Pharm felt his eyes widen when Dean leaned down, his gaze questioning. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Pharm let his eyes flutter close as Dean pressed their lips together, the kiss soft and gentle as Dean wrapped his arms around Pharm’s waist, Pharm’s own arms wrapping around Dean’s neck. Pulling away before the kiss could go any deeper, Dean pressed their foreheads together and just stared into Pharm’s brown orbs, a soft smile rising on his lips that had Pharm smiling as well. “Um...I’ll meet you in the bathroom...we can uh...bathe together if you want.”

Noticing the way Dean’s eyebrows disappeared behind his fringe, Pharm coughed and shooed a shocked Dean into the bathroom, glaring playfully at the playful smirk that was not developing on his boyfriend’s face. Shutting the door behind him, Pharm sighed and shook his head, pulling out the polaroid from the mall from his pocket. Smiling at it fondly, Pharm carefully placed it on one of the picture frames on his bedside table before he pulled out his phone, sending the picture to his group chat. Hearing Dean call for him, Pharm rolled his eyes and placed his phone on the table, hurrying towards the bathroom, completely unaware that the group chat began to blow up as Manaow and Team reacted to the photo of him and Dean with the Easter bunny. 

Survey #384

“watch your tongue or have it cut from your head”

Do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? Sometimes. Depends on my mood and the person. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Idr. What’s your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV enough at all to have one. And who has a favorite commercial, anyway? Do you trip a lot? I don't really trip a lot, but kinda fumble over my footing and stray a bit. I'm horrible at walking straight, and it's gotten worse as my legs have. How old is your television? The one in the living room is god knows how old. My parents were still together when they bought it. When did you last talk on the phone with someone? A couple days ago for my appointment with my psychiatrist. Are you currently sleepy? I'm quite convinced I'm permanently tired. Are you hot or cold natured? I am ALWAYS fucking hot, ugh. Do you take any advanced classes? I took mostly Honors classes in school. Do you have weak upper body strength? My body is just weak as a whole. What is the worst insult someone can call you? Emotionally weak. Are you good at sketching? If we're talking meerkats, haha. They're the only complex thing that I can freehand no problem without needing a reference, honestly. Ever play Angry Birds? Nah. I thought the movie was cute, though. Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yeah. Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No. Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? It's not something I actively worry about at all. Like, you don't want my identity, I promise. Do you have any talents that come naturally? Growing up, adults always told me I was a "gifted" artist and writer. Also that I seem to have an unnaturally strong connection with animals. I've always been that person where a pet's owner is like "omg ____ never lets people do that" and whatnot. Have you ever had plastic surgery before? I haven't. It's funny though, how opposed to it I used to be... Like goddamn, I was such a fucking stupid and honestly judgmental teenager, regarding many things. I look back on her and cringe. Like damn dude, if you have a safe surgical procedure to help you enjoy the body you're stuck with the rest of your life, you go for it, boo. Are you afraid of airplane rides? Not really. What’s the best Valentine’s Day gift you’ve gotten? There was this one year where Jason had to go to work on Valentine's Day and I was super bummed, yet he still surprised me with a heart-shaped box of chocolates, roses, and a game I really wanted, Heavy Rain. I thought it was the sweetest. What is something you lose often? My phone. ;-; Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I don't enter any. Do you consider yourself physically active? *chuckles nervously* Do you have Netflix? Yeah. Favorite salad dressing? That Olive Garden replica you can buy at the store. Do you enjoy dancing? Once upon a time I did. My body could never handle it now. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Many times. Snow or sand? Snow, by twenty thousand miles. It is VERY hard for me to walk through sand, and I also hate hate hate hate HATE the sensation. Do you like sour candy? Heeeeeell yeah man. Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what & how? Nothing notable. Are you a clumsy person? Like you would not fucking believe. Last male you talked to in person? I think my primary physician's nurse. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? Pink lemonade, for sure. But I love both. Chocolate or strawberry milk? CHOCOLATE. Strawberry milk is disgusting. Have you ever won a contest on the radio?No. Is there a song that reminds you of your best friend? There's quite a few. Has a book ever made you cry? Yes. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yes, for the time. Do you know anyone who has a pet bunny? Not that I'm aware. What store or website would you most like a gift card for? Rebel's Market. How do you feel about wolves? I adore wolves. Beautiful, majestic creatures with very interesting social dynamics. Name your top 3 favorite musical instruments. Electric guitar, violin, piano. What was the last book(s) you bought at a bookstore? At an actual bookstore, I think it was The Fault In Our Stars, which I never actually read. Do you use Pinterest? Yes. Do you know any sign language? No. Do you have a favorite poem? No. Do you have a dog? No. The one we were pretty much stuck with has a home now. Have you ever read The Little House on the Prairie series? I haven't. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Have you ever performed in front of more than 100 people? Yes, for dance. When (if ever) was the last time you went to church? Forever ago, I don't even remember the last time. What's a quote you think is really powerful? There's a whole lot. The first one that came to mind was, "An eye for an eye will leave the world blind," which I do believe has great depth in it. Have you ever had to do your laundry at a laundromat? Yes. Are you the oldest person who lives in your household? No. My mom is turning 60 (... I think?) this year. If you have tattoos, how long have you had them? I got my first the day I turned 18. Do you and your dad have similar personalities? We're alike in some ways, imo most notably in that we have NO fucking common sense, embarrassing as that is to admit. We're both kinda slow at understanding things, too. What were the last three things you had to drink? Mountain Lightning, milk, and water. What did your family usually do for Easter when you were a kid? Us three kids all got Easter baskets full of stuff, and we'd go egg-hunting when we were all awake. My little sister Nicole would always wake our parents up in excitement, haha. My parents hid plenty throughout the house, and there was always this one "special" egg that was actually from Mom's childhood and was extremely intricate and beautiful. You basically "won" the hunt if you found it, and it was extremely well-hidden. When you have house guests over, where do they sleep? Historically since living here, my two half-sisters and their spouses (the only people who've stayed over) slept in what is *technically* Mom's room, but for whatever reason this woman still insists on sleeping on the couch in the living room, I guess because she's used to it after all the years she didn't have her own room and bed. Are you emotionally stable? LOLOOLOLOOLLOLOOLOOLOLLOOLOLLLLLLLLLLL Do you still talk to the very first person you had sex with? No. Are you an atheist? No. I don't quite know how to define what I am, but since I believe there's SOME higher power, I don't think it's fitting to call me an atheist. What’s the largest bug you’ve ever found in your house? Hm... I'm unsure. Probably a male mosquito, 'cuz them bitches are big'ins. Would it annoy you if a stranger called you "sweetie?" If it was a man, I'd be creeped out. Are you into fashion design? Not really. What’s the worst thing you’ve gone through in the past year? My leg muscles continuing to degrade, honestly. I have to do something about this shit. How did you get your last bruise? I fell when stepping over the stupid dog gate. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? Yikes, no. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. Do you like your orange juice with lots or no pulp? NONE. Do you wear skinny jeans? Back when I wore jeans, they were the only kind I wore. What projects are you doing now for school? I'm outta school. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have no idea. Do you like coconut flavored things? No. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? No, thank god. I know someone who might've almost been, though. I don't know what the fucking pig was going to do to her if my sister and I weren't there. Have you ever wished for bigger boobs? No. Being overweight, I just want smaller ones now, haha. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? I've gone many days without it. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four, if you're counting everyone that had the "boyfriend" title. Where were you going the last time you were on a plane? Home from Illinois. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? I've never been on one. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? Holy fuck, yes. You would never guess now that I was perfectly healthy in high school especially, yet I still thought I was kinda fat. It hurts so much to look back on. When growing up, did you parents keep the house very tidy? I mean not excessively, but Mom was pretty dedicated to keeping the house in decent condition. With three kids though, of course the house was somewhat messy with toys and all. When you shop at IKEA, do you always stop to eat a snack/meal in the cafeteria? ... There's a fucking cafeteria in a furniture store? o_o I've never been there before. How many watches do you own? None, save for one in my "treasure box" from when I was a kid. I was SO SO SO obsessed with Finding Nemo that I kept my broken one. I did the same with my horribly aged sneakers, like the soles were coming off and Mom finally made me stop wearing them, ha. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? I do fucking nothing and am useless to society. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? Yes, because emergencies happen. I personally think it's best to maybe have your cell phone flipped over on the corner of your desk or something and on vibrate, that way the noise isn't too disruptive and the teacher can see you're not just using it for other purposes. Do you have any gay relatives? Yes. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Sigh, multiple. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? If so, what was the reason? Not recently. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? None. Do you know what your vocal range is? No, but it's not very broad. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I haven't been in this position before. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? I wanna say over a month while we were technically homeless. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? Oh dear, it was rough. Like there were people who had it worse than me, but ya girl was lookin preeeetty rough lmao.

treats au and santa au are so cute!! for santa au: does shinee leave presents for taemin under the christmas tree in the dorm? do the fans ever find out about it? and for treats au: is there ever a moment after that interview in which key manages to use that little trick with taemin again?? imagine that happening on camera and all the fans realizing it and thinking it's cute while taemin is clueless

I’ll answer treat au in a separate post but!!! for Santa AU!!

Taemin’s parents, not wanting to ruin the magic of Christmas for him, had said that Santa would still be bringing Taemin’s presents to the family home and not the dorm. That way, Taemin wouldn’t be upset when inevitably there would be no presents from Santa under the little fake tree they set up in the dorm. But they were hoping, even if it upset them, that Taemin would soon figure out for himself that Santa wasn’t real.

But either way, Taemin was perfectly content to think, “Santa will bring my presents home, not to the dorm.” He didn’t see anything wrong with that. 

Until Christmas Eve, when they all returned to the dorm after a show and the members asked Taemin if he was going to leave milk and cookies out for Santa.

“But Santa won’t come here,” he said. “My mom said he would still bring my presents at home.”

“You never know,” Jinki says, smiling. “Maybe Santa will bring a special present here too. Since you’re definitely on the nice list.”

Taemin just beams at him. Of course he’s on the nice list. He’s been very good this year, and he’s hardly bickered with the other members at all the last month. 

Even their manager insists that Taemin help make some cookies to leave out for Santa. They make simple sugar cookies, and they leave them out in the living room near the little tree.

“Do you really think he’ll come?” Taemin whispers once they’re all in bed.

“I think so,” Jinki whispers back. “Now go to sleep, or he won’t come at all.”

And Taemin flops over and hides under the covers of his bed, giggling and excited at the thought of Santa visiting the dorm. 

The next morning, Taemin shuffles out of the bedroom and he goes to look under the tree, and he gasps at the sight of half-eaten cookies and six little presents under the tree, plus a train set circling. Taemin goes and looks at the gifts, and there’s one for each member and even the manager, all from Santa. And Taemin giggles and goes hopping down the hall, bouncing onto Jinki’s bed.

“Santa came!” he shouts, jumping on Jinki’s bed to wake him and everyone else up. “Wake up, it’s Christmas! Santa came and brought presents!”

“It’s too early,” Kibum groans, throwing a pillow down. “Go back to sleep.”

“But Santa came!”

“Go back to sleep,” Jinki says softly, pulling Taemin down next to him. “We’ll get up in a bit and open presents.”

“Okay,” Taemin says, nuzzling next to Jinki with a sleepy little smile on his face. “Hey Jinki?”

“Yeah?”

“How did Santa come if there’s no fireplace?”

Jinki is quiet for a moment before he says, “Well, lots of places don’t have a fireplace. He probably comes through the vents or something.”

“Oh,” Taemin says through a yawn. “That makes sense.”

Later that day, Taemin is still giddy that Santa came to visit the dorm, and he’s bubbly and excited as they go to a Christmas Day performance. Plenty of other idols are very aware that SHINee’s youngest member still believes in Santa, and a few from other companies try to say snarky things to him about it, especially when he’s alone and trying to find his way back to the dressing room after going to the bathroom.

“Did Santa come and visit?” one older boyband member asks, and Taemin can tell he’s just being mean.

“Yes,” he says softly, trying to shuffle away down the hall. 

“And just what did he bring you?” another asks.

Taemin is uncomfortable, and he keeps his head down as he tries to walk away.

“Go on, tell us what Santa brought you.”

“Yeah, since he’s so real.”

“Santa is real,” another voice says firmly, and Taemin turns to see Heechul standing there. “Isn’t he, Taeminnie?”

“Yeah,” Taemin mumbles.

“Then why didn’t he bring us any presents?” one of the other boys asks, a mean smirk on his face as Taemin inches closer to Heechul.

“You must be on the naughty list,” Heechul says, smirking right back. “Come on Taemin, the others want to hear all about what Santa brought you.”

And Heechul takes Taemin’s hand and leads him down the hall, away from the other groups who are just making fun of him. 

“Why is what Santa brought me such a big deal?” Taemin asks, pouting as Heechul brings him to the wing where most of the SM artists have waiting rooms for this event.

“Because others are just jealous that they’re on the naughty list and got nothing,” Heechul assures him.

“You promise?”

His voice is so small and nervous, and Heechul sucks in a quick breath before smiling at him.

“I promise,” he says. “So what did Santa bring you?”

“He brought most of my presents home, with my family,” he says softly. “But he brought presents for me and the members and the manager last night. He even left a train!”

And Taemin is right back to being excited and giddy and talking about Christmas and Santa and elves and reindeer. The other Super Junior members are all excited to see him and hear about it when Heechul brings him into their waiting room. They all humor him, but not in a condescending sort of way. They’re just glad he’s happy.

But then two weeks later, a trainee at SM who’s a few years older than Taemin catches him in the hall. He starts saying mean things, starts making fun of him, and outright says, “Santa isn’t real. Everyone’s just being nice to you about it because you’re a little kid.”

“That’s not true,” Taemin mutters. 

“It is true!” he tells Taemin, a mean smirk on his face. “Santa’s not real, and you’re a little old to still be believing in him. Santa is for babies.”

He’s relentless, and it goes on for a long time until Heechul once again saves him. Except by now, Taemin is upset and he’s realizing that Santa really isn’t real, and as Heechul leads him away, he questions him about it.

“The spirit of Santa is very real,” Heechul says softly.

“But Santa’s not real,” Taemin says in an angry voice. “You promised!”

“I didn’t want you to be upset,” Heechul explains. 

“What about the Tooth Fairy?” Taemin asks, his voice cracking. When Heechul shakes his head, Taemin continues, “And the Sandman? Easter Bunny?”

“Taemin,” Heechul sighs, but Taemin is already stomping off to the practice room he was supposed to be in with his members.

Taemin is beyond upset, and he doesn’t know how to really deal with it. Normally, he would just go talk with his parents about it, but that’s not something so easily done when he’s living at the dorms. 

Monsters Have Hearts

Pitch X Reader

Warning: violence

Chapter Two

You didn’t understand how you had fallen into a deep slumber, but you remember asking Pitch, “monster? What do you mean by that?” And he replied with, “I’ll show you.” Then sprinkling something in your face. You were aware of your surroundings, you were back home. The vintage and dark room could not be mistaken for anywhere else. A younger version of you laughed happily as you ran around the house, they squealed as they turned a corner but you knew those laughters would end. Younger you cried out in pain as they hit a table and a picture frame fell to the floor, the glass shattering.

“Idiot.” You hissed. You could sense the atmosphere darken as your mother stomped to the scene; her crying daughter and a picture frame broken.

“[Y/N]! What is this?!” She demanded, which caused younger you to wail. “Stop crying you pathetic thing! Why are you crying!?”

“Ma, I’m s...sorry!”

“You should be sorry! What are we gonna do? HUH!? It’s broken!”

“P...please don’t yell at me.” You bawled. Your mom dragged younger you by the hair, and you screamed and kicked.

“You deserve to be punished!”

“I.....I s-said I’m s-sorry!”

“Sorry won’t bring it back! It’s broken.” She growled. You cautiously followed, knowing where it was headed. You stopped and felt tears streaming down your face when you heard the screams and cries for your father. She has broken your legs at that time and it took painfully long for them to heal. You gripped your arm and shuddered at the pain somehow coming back.

Screaming, you bolted awake. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness and Pitch stared at you with pity.

“How’d you do that?”

“I am the Nightmare King.....I....I’m the creature that feeds off of fear and spreads it.” Pitch sighed. “If you ever wondered where nightmares come from....it’s me.”

“Oh.” You were still recovering and you couldn’t think straight with the constant hammering of your heartbeat. “Without ‘bad thing’ no one would learn. Not generalizing that nightmares are bad though.”

“Hm,” Pitch pondered. “I suppose that’s true.” He abruptly stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“To find you some food, you need to rest or else your injuries won’t heal swiftly.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Well that’s currently, you’ll be hungry later and it’s best to get food before the hunger sets in.” Pitch sighed. “So, what do you want?”

“Doesn’t matter, whatever you get.” You shrugged. “I’m not picky.....what about you? What do you eat?”

“I don’t.” Pitch dismissed. “I will be back shortly, please do not do anything to my lair. Or don’t break anything......technically there’s nothing to break, if you manage to destroy the lair I would be quite impressed.”

“Oooh-“

“That does not give you permission to do so. I don’t want to scavenge for another one.” Pitch sighed. “Stay, don’t go anywhere near the Nightmares. The Fearlings will bother you either way but ignore them, please. They can’t hurt you.” He whispered something to the Fearlings, who seem to slump with disappointment, then he vanished. You sighed and glanced around. You never got a proper look at the lair, it was quite interesting and comfortable. It wasn’t too dark but not too bright. You could feel the Fearling’s eye on you as you roamed, staring.

“What’s this?” You point at the golden globe.

“A globe.”

“I can see that.”

“The lights on the globe indicates all the children that believe in the Guardians.”

“Who are the Guardians?”

“Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Sandman, and Jack Frost.”

“Uh who are they?”

“What do you mean ‘who are they?’ You don’t know who Santa Claus is? Or the Tooth Fairy?”

“Can’t say that I do.”

“You’re joking.”

“Look, I wasn’t raised in a loving household. Never got bedtime stories, had to say goodnight and tuck myself in.” You snapped. The Fearlings all eyed each other with surprise. Suddenly, they all shifted into humans, readjusting their clothes or fixing their hair.

“I’m Aorta.” One of them spoke.

“Woah.” You stepped back, they all had different features and it was hard to take in the sight before you. The one who spoke had curly dark hair, but from the strange lighting in the lair, it appeared red and brown.

“Come on, we’ll fill you in.” Aorta led you to the bed, patting the soft surface for you to sit on. You did so as the rest of the Fearlings sat in front of you. “It’ll take too long to introduce all of us right now. So, there have been tales of a man flying on a sleigh on Christmas Night, to deliver gifts.......”

Pitch returned with something he occasionally eat, if he was feeling the need to revisit his favorite dishes. He found the lair awfully quiet, which may have been comforting but also unsettling due to his current guest. He walked back to the place where they were staying, to find his Fearlings in human form and talking to her. Specifically Aorta was the one doing the talking. “I’m impressed.” He smirked.

“Oh! Hey, your Fearlings were just telling me about the Guardians.” You stood up. “Kind of interesting to know about a man that gives nice people presents and naughty kids, coal. And a Bunny that hides eggs for people cause it represents.....hope. I don’t see the connection.”

“It was originally a pagan holiday. The Christians stole it and declared it theirs.” Pitch informed.

“Oh.”

“Aw, I wanted to tell her that.” One Fearling piped in. Pitch shrugged as he handed her breakfast.

“I’m genuinely surprised you befriended the Fearlings so quickly. They normally don’t like people and they definitely don’t show their human forms to anyone, other than me on some occasions.” Pitch raised a brow. “You’re more special than you think.” You smiled as you peered into the bag.

“Heh, thanks. Also this looks good! What is it?”

“It’s Chilaquiles, a Mexican breakfast. It’s one of my favorite dishes to have.”

“Oh wow! Thank you!” You smiled. Pitch nodded as he walked away, the Fearlings all nodded and returned to their alternate selves. You enjoyed the Chilaquiles a lot.

A/N: I have a lot in my drafts right now and I’m currently working on multiple works. Especially Playing With Fire chapter seven, a lot of you seem to be liking that and requesting for more! So hopefully that’ll be completed soon! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Chocolate eggs and Pey-tato chips (Kamjie) - Crazy4Kameron

Kameron felt like she was going out of her mind, staring at their dining room table. Something didn’t seem right to her but she couldn’t quite figure out what it was. She had done everything the way she remembered her mother doing it, but it just felt so off to her.

“The table looks amazing.” Vanessa said leaning against the doorway.

Kameron jumped with a small start. “Geez babe I didn’t hear you come downstairs” She had been so deep in concentration that she doubted she would have really heard anything at that point. “So how was getting her to bed tonight?”

“Pretty easy, till she asked me to read ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ for the fourth time."

Kameron turned slightly in her chair to face her wife. "It’s cause you always read it with all those funny voices, she can’t get enough."

"I tried to get her to read something else, but little momma wasn’t into that idea.” Vanessa shook her head, remembering the small tantrum she had just endured.

Kameron giggled. ”I’m glad it was you and not me. You deal with her little fits way better than I can.”

“I guess bein raised by a momma that don’t take no shit, made it so I can handle these kinds things better.”  Vanessa shugged. “But once I told her that the Easter bunny only comes to visit good little girls and boys, she stopped pretty quickly.”

“Well thank you for putting her to bed tonight. It gave me time to set everything up, make sure it was perfect. Plus I think she likes it better when you put her to bed anyways.” Kameron teased sticking her tongue out at her wife, before going back to fuss over the table

It was their first Easter together as a family. That word, family was still something that sent Kameron into pure ecstacy, she still couldn’t believe it to be true. She wanted everything to be perfect for her daughter. She had gone over everything in her head a million times, and was now double checking all the details.

“Babe, she’s two and half, I highly doubt she’s going to notice or care if the bunny’s ears aren’t straight.” Vanessa stated, pointing at the bunny the Kameron was currently trying to fix.

“She may not, but I will and it will drive me crazy.” Kameron clarified as she went back to fixing the stuffed animals tiny pink ears for the twentieth time.

Vanessa walked into the dining room and took a seat at the table. “Okay, but I thought this was supposed to be for our daughter?"

"Just because the goodies are for Peyton, doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t enjoy it too.”

“Seeing her face when she sees her gifts is all the enjoyment that I need,” Vanessa said, popping a chocolate egg in her mouth, before slumping into the chair next to her wife “But being able to eat the extra chocolate is a bonus.”

“I can’t help it, Ness, it’s the perfectionist in me.” Kameon sighed, “I know she’s not going to care if everything is perfect, and I shouldn’t either.”

Vanessa gently began to massage Kamerons shoulders, she could feel all the stress that was building there over the past week. Vanessa knew how badly Kameron wanted every special occasion with their daughter, especially their first, to be perfect.

Just being together and being able to say that they were a family was more than enough to make any occasion special, at least for her. But she knew how much all the little things meant to Kameron.  

“Baby, the table looks perfect and Peyton is going to love it.” Vanessa leaned over and gave her wife a peck on the cheek. “Now how about we go to bed and I really work those knots out?” Kameron couldn’t help the smile that spread across her lips.  

As they lay in bed that night, Kameron curled around Vanessa, with her head on her chest, Vanessa gently stroking strawberry blonde locks off Kameron’s face, Kameron couldn’t help but think of how much their lives had changed since the adoption was finalized. The day they signed those papers was the greatest day of her life, tied only with the day that she said I do, in front of all her family and friends. Kameron let out a contented sigh, as she snuggled a little deeper into her wife’s embrace.

“Something wrong babe?” Vanessa asked, lifting her head slightly to look at Kameron’s face.

“Everything is perfect.” She shook her head. “I was just thinking about how much everything has changed over this last year.”

“Oh.” Vanessa relaxed back into her pillow again.“This past year has been such a whirlwind that I guess I really haven’t had the time to think about it until now. But I guess they really have changed haven’t they? We celebrated our first wedding anniversary, and we got to finalize the adoption.” Vanessa kissed the top of her Kameron’s head.

“Let’s not forget that we bought a house and you got that promotion.” Kameron thought that her heart was going to explode from pure joy.  “I love you so much, and I can’t wait to see what the next year has in store for us.” Kameron lifted her head and kissed Vanessa softly on the lips.

“I love you too, baby. I know that no matter what life throws at us, we’ll get through it together.” Vanessa replied kissing her wife again, this time a little harder, with a little more passion. Vanessa held Kameron’s face in her hands, Kameron pushed herself up so that she could get closer.

Kameron crawled up Vanessa to straddle her lap, slowly wrapping her hands around the dark haired girl’s waist pulling herself even closer. Vanessa began to nip at Kamerons bottom lip, licking her way in, a low moan escaping from Kameron, as she began to slide her hands up under Vanessa’s night shirt. Vanessa’s hands tangled in Kameron’s hair tightened their grip just the slightest bit, angling Kameron’s head up, exposing her neck.Vanessa began to kiss and nip down Kameron’s jaw to her now exposed throat. Kameron melted into every touch, every kiss, wanting more, needing more.  

In the heat of the moment neither of them hear the tiny pitter patter of footsteps down the hallway, or the creaking of their bedroom door being opened.

“Mommy?”

Both of them froze, turning to look at the now open door and their daughter sobbing, holding her favourite stuffy close.

“Oh baby, what’s wrong?” Kameron cooed, quickly sliding off her wife’s lap, and making her way to grab the little girl. The only response was more sobbing, as the girl wrapped her arms tightly around Kameron’s neck.

Kameron made her way over to their bed and laid the girl down between her and Vanessa. Vanessa ran her fingers through Peyton’s curly hair and kissed the top of her head.

“It’s okay baby girl, your mommies aren’t going to let anything bad happen to you, okay?”

Peyton nodded her head, before burying herself farther into Kameron’s side.

“Did you have a bad dream, angel?” Kameron began rubbing the child’s back, calming her down enough for her to lift her head and tell them that she had.

“It was just a dream baby. Nothing’s going to get you now.”

“Can I sweep wiv you and momma? Pwease?” Peyton asked, tears and fear still in the girls eyes, breaking Kameron’s heart at the sight. Kameron looked at Vanessa, who only nodded gently.  “Of course you can angel.” Kameron kissed the curly haired girl’s head.

As the reajusted their positions, Peyton snuggled in tight between her moms, they shared a look of, well I guess we’ll have to put our sex life on pause for tonight, but damn she’s worth it.

It didn’t take long before soft snores could be heard from the middle of the bed.

“Is she asleep?” Vanessa asked, still rubbing their daughters back.

“Yeah out like a light.” Kameron whispered. “You know, when we finally got to adopt Peyton, I was terrified that I was going to somehow fail at being a parent. Like my perfectionism would somehow make me a bad parent. That I wouldn’t be able to let go and enjoy our daughter.”

“Babe you’re an amazing mother. And your need to make everything perfect isn’t always a bad thing.”

“Oh really,how?”

“Well she’s going to grow up to have great organizational skills, and you’ve already taught her that she needs to clean up one mess before making another one. And I’m sure when she gets older she’s going to be a straight A student. “ Vanessa reached over carefully, as to not wake the sleeping baby between them and gently stroked Kameron’s face.

“I love you.” Kameron whispered, cautiously leaning towards Vanessa as much as she could. Vanessa leaned in the rest of the way, before breathing out, “I love you too.”  and tenderly kissing her wife good night.      

———–

“MOMMA, MOMMA WAKE UP!” Peyton screamed jumping up and down on the bed the next morning.

Vanessa groaned rolling over to look at the time on her phone next to the bed.“ Peyton baby, it’s too early to be awake."

The little girl kept bouncing up and down before landing on top of Vanessa. "Get up momma!” Petyon said sternly, “l want bweakfast!"

"Peyton Anabel Micheals Mateo! You do not jump on or talk to your momma like that!” Kameron scolded. “Now you tell momma you’re sorry, and ask her nicely to get you breakfast."

"Sowey momma. Can I pwease have bweakfast now?”

“Thank you baby.” Vanessa said hugging the little girl tight. “Now what would you like for breakfast?”

“ICE CWEAM!!” Peyton shouted with joy.

“Ice cream? For breakfast?” Vanessa questioned with a smile on her face,tickling Peyton’s sides. Peyton doubled over with laughter.

“Pey-tato chip, you can’t have ice cream for breakfast.” Kameron stated, getting out of bed.

“I want ice cweam, mommy.” the little girl said so innocently.  

“No Peyton, you need to have something healthy for breakfast.” Kameron felt like she was doing the right thing, but the sad pouty look on Peyton’s face was breaking her heart.

Vanessa could tell that she needed to do something quickly before this turned into a tantrum.

“You know what mommy, I think I feel like ice cream for breakfast too.”

“Really?” Kameron raised her eyebrow, suspiciously, while putting on her housecoat. Giving Vanessa a look that said, thanks a lot for backing me up.

“Sure. If we can have breakfast for dinner, why can’t we have dessert for breakfast?”

Kameron stood at the end of the bed, arms crossed staring at her girls, who were both staring back at her with their best puppy dog eyes, lips pouted out. Kameron knew that she wasn’t going to say no, but she needed to make them think she might. So she stood there for a few moments contemplating her answer.

“Fine, you can have a very small bowl of ice cream for breakfast.” Vanessa and Peyton cheered with joy. “BUT,” Kameron continued, “you have to have something healthy too.”

“Yes mommy!” they said in unison, jumping out of bed to hug Kameron before making their way to the kitchen.

———

After finishing a somewhat healthy breakfast, and filling up on their daily caffeine intake it was time to let Peyton see her Easter basket.

“If you’re all done breakfast, lil nugget, I think the Easter Bunny left you a special surprise in the dining room.” Vanessa encouraged as she cleaned off the table. Peyton looked at Kameron for confirmation which she got in the form of a nod which was all it took.

Peyton jumped out of her seat and raced to the dining room as fast as her little legs could carry her. She froze when she rounded the corner, eyes wide with wonder and amazement at the sight before her. “WOW!”

“Well go ahead Pey-tato chip, the Easter Bunny left it for you.” Kameron encouraged Peyton from behind her phone, recording every minute.

Peyton burst forward not quite sure what she should play with first. ” Momma, momma! Look pwetty bunny!“

Kameron’s heart soared and tears threatened to flow with happiness, at not only how happy her daughter was, but that she had noticed the bunny she had worked so hard on. The rest of their morning was filled with helping Peyton put together her new toys, and trying to explain why she couldn’t have all of her candy in one sitting.

Soon it was time to get ready to go for Easter lunch and an easter egg hunt at Silky’s house.

"Aunt Silky, Aunt Silky! Look at my bunny! It’s so soft and I wuv it!” Peyton screeched while bounding down the pathway towards the house.

Silky embraced the tiny child tightly before examining the stuffed animal. “Wow! That sure is a pretty bunny you got there my sweet Pey-tato pie.”

“Yeah she sure is one lucky little girl.” Vanessa side eyed Kameron with a smile on her face. “The Easter bunny must have worked overtime at our house."

Kameron ignored Vanessa’s comments and leaned in to give her friend a hug. "Happy Easter Silk. The food smells amazing."

"You know it always be smelling and tasting amazing at Big Silks house, baby. Come on in y'all.”

“Sweet Pey-tato pie, you know what we doing before lunch?” Silky asked the little girl, who was now twirling around in circles in the living room with her bunny held out in her hands waltzing with her. Meanwhile Peyton giggled as her dress billowed out around her as she spun.

“Peyton, slow down, you’re going to fall and hurt yourself.” Vanessa warned.

The child continued her dizzying dance, reveling in the way it made her head spin and how her skirt and her bunny moved in the air.

“Peyton! Mija, Stop spinning please, before you break something or hurt yourself!” Vanessa pleaded a little louder.

Kameron heard the frustration and anger rise in Vanessa’s voice and knew that she needed to step in before Vanessa lost her temper.

Kameron took two steps towards Peyton, and scooped her up into her arms, spinning her around. “Come here you.”  Peyton shrieked with laughter as she was lifted off the ground and into the security of her mom’s arms.

“Did you hear what momma told you to do?” Kameron asked in a gentle yet stern way.

The smile faded from her face and Peyton slowly nodded yes.

“Then why did you not stop spinning?” Peyton only shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not mad angel, I just want you to understand. You could have fallen down and got hurt, and that would have made momma and me very sad. We don’t want you to get hurt. I know that spinning is fun, but when you’re inside you need to be more careful and listen to momma and me, okay baby?”  Kameron made sure that Peyton was looking at her and had nodded yes before kissing her on the forehead and putting down again.

“Come see your Aunty Silky, little tater tot.” Silky patted the couch next to where she had just taken a seat. “You know what we do on Easter before we sit down to eat the fabulous lunch your Aunty Silk’s slaved over?”  Peyton only stared back with a blank look on her face, while her mothers rolled their eyes at the comment.

“We hunt for Easter eggs.” Silky whispered into the girl’s ear, like it was the biggest secret ever.

Peyton’s eyes widened, the excitement clearly written all over her tiny face, as she listened even more intently. The thrill of thinking that she was in on this secret, even if she had no idea what it meant to hunt for Easter eggs. The joy of getting to be part of something like this for the first time, with people that loved her, almost made the little girl burst with delight.  

“The Easter bunny came last night, and he put chocolate eggs all over the back yard when he heard you,” Silky poked her in her chest “were going to be here today.”

“I want hunt eggs!” Peyton yelled, overjoyed with the thought of getting to find chocolate eggs. She ran over to Vanessa and grabbed her hand jumping up and down. “Momma you look too! You look too!”

“Yes mija I’ll look too, okay. Should we look together and beat your Aunt Silky before she can find them all?” Peyton’s curls bobbed around her smiling face, as she nodded her head and bounced on her toes, eager to start looking and to win.

Kameron sat in a patio chair, taking videos and pictures, as Peyton ran around the backyard looking everywhere her little legs would let her. A few times in her excitement she would run right past an egg, and Vanessa would have to tell her to slow down and look a little closer. She even found herself reminding Peyton that she needed to look up as well, cause ‘the Easter bunny obviously forgot that you’re only three feet tall.’

Kameron never thought that her heart could be any fuller of love for the girls that she was watching, looking through bushes and under garden gnomes. Watching her wife, the first girl she ever loved, hold their daughter’s hand, the second girl she ever loved, and point out places that eggs could be hidden. Vanessa had the biggest smile on her face, as their daughter squealed with joy and pulled her along behind, in a haste to find the next egg. Stopping every once in a while to constantly check the eggs she’d already found, to make sure they were still there. It was a scene that Kameron had only dreamed about, and couldn’t believe that this was now her reality.

Kissing Santa | Bucky Barnes

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader | One Shot

WC: 829

Warnings: alludes to sex otherwise none, really this is just very cute, or yk if you don’t wanna imagine Bucky in only santa pants and suspenders...

Summary: writen for @mybesttobobcratchit​‘s 500 followers writing challenge (congratulations!). Prompt was: “That’s the nice thing about telling the truth; you don’t have nearly as much to keep track of.”

A/N: It’s christmas, i don’t know where this came from. Honestly, but i like it and I hope you enjoy ^_^ MERRY CHRISTMAS!

You lean against the doorway as the red-suited man pulls the last gift from his bag. A smile colors your face, and you look around you to check that none of your kids had woken up to try and get a glimpse of Santa. After all, you had told them he would come sometime tonight, you wouldn’t hold it past at least the five-year old, to check to see if he was real. 

Seeing that the coast is clear, you take the few steps leading to the man. He’s turning around as you stop behind him. When he sees you, you press your lips together, because who would’ve thought you’d ever find Santa hot. 

“Ho, ho, ho,” he says, a little mockingly. You roll your eyes. “Shouldn’t you be in bed as the rest of the family?”

You shrug. “Just waiting for my husband to join me.” 

“That’s why you forgot the milk and cookies?” He raises a brow and cocks his head slightly to the side. 

“No, forgot those on purpose.” You tug at the fake beard covering the lower half of Bucky’s face. “Now, what do you say to joining me in the bedroom?” 

He blinks a little, but smirks. “Really now?”

You pull the beard fully down, showing of his five o’clock shadow, and lean up to press your lips against his. Barely brushing over his lips, you whisper against them, “really.”

Only, Bucky doesn’t get to reply before a little figure comes into your peripheral vision. It runs at a fast speed before it crashes into your leg and wraps its arms around it. “No, mommy, don’t do it!” 

Both you and Bucky look down at your son. His face is contorted into an anxious expression, big blue eyes taking after his father looking up at you. A hint of sadness and betrayal colors them. 

“Oh, sweetie,” you say and crouch down to his level. “I wouldn’t do anything to hurt your daddy, okay?”

He nods, but the look still rests on his face.

“But you’re a big boy, right?” you ask him, and he nods again. “So, you’re old enough to get in on a secret?” 

Your son nods frantically, expression changed to something more akin to excited. “I wanna hear the secret. Is it some special club?”

You can’t help, but smile at that. Yet, you shake your head. “No, it’s not. The secret is that Santa doesn’t exist.”

He only frowns at that. Nose scrunched up and eyes regarding you with skepticism. 

“See up on his face.” You point up at Bucky. “Does it look like Santa?”

“No, it looks like daddy!” And the boy’s eyes grow wide as a smile covers his face and he turns to hug his dad. “Are you one of Santa’s helpers?”

Bucky shakes his head. “No, as your mom said, Santa doesn’t exist. But if you’re extra nice, you might still get presents from him, or someone saying they’re him.”

“But this is a secret,” you say, as serious as you can, “so you can’t tell your brother and sister, alright?”

He nods, pulls two fingers across his lips as if sealing them shut, and then puts his hand on his heart and says, “I swear on the life of my mommy and daddy.”

It does squeeze at your heart how adorable he is. 

“Okay, now, back to bed.” 

Despite your son’s usually annoyed behaviour at going to bed, he does so now without complaining. And after you’ve tucked him in and turned off the light in his room, you go back to your own.

And in there you find a stripped Santa. You have to bite your lip to keep from making a sound.

Tangled in the sheets (something he has to have done on purpose), lies Bucky. Shirtless, with only santa pants and suspenders. As he hears your steps, he looks up. A smile on his face and a gaze that beckons you over. You comply without making a sound, lightly stumbling your way onto the bed.

“Why’d you tell him Santa isn’t real?” Bucky asks as he drags you close to him.. 

“What’s the point in lying to your kids?” you counter. 

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Keeping up the magic of Christmas? It’s not like you’ve said the Easter Bunny isn’t real.”

You pat his chest and trace a finger down one of the suspenders. “That’s the nice thing about telling the truth; you don’t have nearly as much to keep track of.” Your hand stops by the lining of his pants. 

“You’re unbelievable,” he breathes.

“And you’re very much believable.” You look up at him innocently, though a smirk colors your lips. “You’re keeping these pants on, right? Suspenders, too.” 

Bucky chuckles and lets his lips brush against yours. “You really are something, huh?” And when you nod, he captures your lips in his  and you let your hands slips further down his pants.  

Christmas just got a whole lot more exciting.

permanent tags:  @devilbat​ @adefectivedetective​ @gamillian​ @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic​ @heartislubbingdubbing​ @wiczer​ @chillcan​ @geeksareunique​ @fandom-imagines1​

Movie Monday - Apr 13th, 2020

"My First Movie On VHS"

Dumb & Dumber (1994):

Travel Back to April 7th, 1996... Easter.

Early in the morning my siblings and I sprung up and rushed to the living room to bask at all the goodies the Easter Bunny had left us.

Hardboiled Eggs, Cadbury Eggs, Malted Milk Ball Eggs, Chocolate Marshmallow Eggs, and Crosses made of Chocolate because Jesus was not Crucified on an Egg.

Beyond the chocolates we typically got one solid/major gift from the Ol' Pastel Hare and lo and behold he left me... I can't remember... it was 1996.

But I do remember days previously my family took a road trip in to the city and stopped at the mall (Woot! Woot!) and I was left unattended with a $20 bill. Mindlessly Meandoring, my brother and I found ourselves inside an On Cue (probably one of the greatest stores of the 90s) and I came face to face with a Dumb & Dumber standee amongst a shelf of VHS tapes.

At the time I had never seen Dumb & Dumber but I was a big fan of The Mask and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective - Mr. Carrey's material always got a lot of laughs at recess.

So, I did what any 8 year old would do - I grabbed the VHS to take to my Mom and ask her if I could have it, but before I could make it out of the store the theft alarms went off.

An On Cue clerk nabbed me and said some crap like "You gotta pay for that," and I retorted something like, "I gotta show my mom". The clerk then told me I need money to take the movie out of the store so I flashed him my $20 and he rung me up.

At 8 years old this was my biggest purchase of my life.

By the time I rejoined my family I totally forgot I invested my money in a movie because I was 8 and that's the kind of baller shit 8 year olds do.

Now hop back to Easter. I had been holding on to the VHS waiting for the most opportune time to spring it on my family for a full on showing.

I come from a family of squabblers but no matter what was going down a good old movie could unify the fam in the living room and what better time than Easter after Catholic Mass.

So, while my siblings were darting around the room looking for Easter candy I nonchalantly stashed Dumb & Dumber in my Easter Basket.

When my parents came into the room to simmer us kids down it was time for us to display our beautiful bounty of gifts from the Easter Bunny.

My older sister got Blah...

And my brother got Blah...

And my other sister got Blah...

It was 1996... what kid remembers what his siblings got for Easter? We are here for my ramblings of My First VHS...

Anywhosel, Then it was my turn to present- I swung that VHS above my head like I was Effing He-Man!

There I was, a Red Headed Cherub, yucking it up like the Easter Bunny left me a gift of joy... I can only imagine what my folks were really thinking at the moment, ya know, because they tell the Easter Bunny what we want for Easter.

So, April 7th, 1996, I can't speak for my family... let alone remember, but I can speak for myself...That day I pissed my pants laughing... figuratively... I was 8... I for sure remember not pissing my pants.

Korban

Title: Korban

Author: Aloysia Virgata

Rating: Teen

Timeline: Post The Truth

Summary:   Mulder puts his arm around her, drawing her head against his shoulder. “So do, uh, do you really believe it all? The Virgin Birth, the Temptation in the Desert, the literal rising from the dead?”

*** The room has been theirs for over two months. It’s a cash-in-paper-envelopes sort of place, where the mattresses sag and the windows are made of scuffed plexiglass. They spent Valentine’s Day here, a half gallon of Moose Tracks ice cream and used condoms in the plastic wastebasket. He wonders sometimes if she’s actually afraid of another pregnancy, or if it’s just the last layer of herself she can hold back.

He doesn’t ask, acceptance being a gift he can give.

For her 39th birthday, Mulder had managed a Carvel cake and a small bottle of good lotion. He made mushroom ravioli for dinner, with a side of overcooked peas. He narrated his preparations in a Julia Child voice while they drank  wine from a screw-top bottle. They ate the cake with plastic sporks until it melted into sludge.

He sang Happy Birthday to her again and she laughed, but her eyes were too bright. They sat bundled under the comforter on the concrete patio for a long time, watching everything but each other. Trucks thundered down the highway towards the weigh station, carrying milk and oil and Japanese electronics. Scully stared at the stars until her eyes swam. She fell asleep with her head tipped back beneath them, and Mulder carried her to bed. They began her 40th year in the shower, pliant and frictionless in the wafting steam.

Early spring now, heaps of dirty slush melted back into deep reservoirs beneath the warming belly of the earth. There are feathery leaves unfurling from fresh mulch, and whipped cream blossoms on trees. Teenagers loiter in the parking lot, smoking and drinking malt liquor. They wander to and from the fire department carnival, slouchy and giggling in the lengthening evenings.

Inside, little changes. The upholstery on the couch is still rough and nubby, a sort of gray ropey material that Scully softens with thrift store blankets. They have their feet propped on the scarred oak coffee table, Scully’s toenails painted pink with dollar store polish. A bottle of Manischewitz Concord Grape sits in the middle of the table, uncapped. On the wood cabinet TV, Nefertiti is wearing turquoise gauze and Revlon lipstick and a technicolor Moses shakes his fist.

Scully spreads a tea towel across her lap, picking at the loose threads on it. Her hair is choppy with long sideswept bangs, the color of the waxy chocolate Easter bunny by her foot. Their eyes are the same arresting blue.

Beside her, Mulder is sunken deep into the cushions, leggy and scruffy with a flop of bangs and a three day beard. In his big hand, he spreads his matzah with ham salad that resembles chewed bubble gum. Scully bought it from the deli attached to the Exxon station, along with the coconut lamb cake that stares at them with blank licorice drop eyes. It smells like cheap sunblock, a hint of the coming summer.

“Stop judging me,” Mulder warns it, poking its jellybean nose. The lamb remains inscrutable in a nest of Easter grass.

Scully swats his hand. “Leave it alone.”

He scowls, takes a bite of his food. “Oh, Scully,” he says in dismay. “This is really disgusting.” He opens his mouth and lets the bright pink mass fall into a napkin. He chugs a plastic cup of water.

Scully takes a bite of her own food, cupping her hand to catch the matzah crumbs. “My mom always made it the day after Easter. It’s no different than tuna salad or chicken salad.”

“It’s very different,” Mulder asserts, decapitating a yellow Peep. “It tastes like exhaust fumes and looks like something you’d jam a scalpel into.”

She crams a piece in her mouth, chewing it inches from his face. She huffs her breath at him after she swallows.

Mulder wrinkles his nose. “You make confession with that mouth?”

She crosses herself. “Bless me Father, for I am living in sin with an infidel.”

“I’m fidel,” Mulder protests. “Just to different things.”

“I know,” she says, and nudges his foot with hers.

“…son of Amram and Yochebel,” intones Charleton Heston from the TV.

Mulder picks up the bottle of Manischewitz. “Shot,” he says, taking a swig from the bottle. He passes it to Scully who does the same.

“Now that is disgusting,” she says, wincing. “Communion wine is better than this.”

“Yeah, it’s not great. But your Catholic asses harassed my people every time we tried to settle anywhere for more than a century or so. That’s not a stable foundation for outstanding viticulture.”

Scully, buzzy and puckish, whispers, “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.”

“Too soon, Scully. Unless this is the lead in to a bondage fetish.”

“Don’t have my handcuffs anymore.” She picks up two forks from the table. “You wanna eat this lamb?”

Mulder regards it with mild disapproval. “At least Passover food has a reason for tasting like shit. Bread of affliction and so forth. But you’re celebrating the miracle of the Risen Lord with ham paste and sponge chickens. You need to get it together, Dana Katherine.”

“Well excuse me, but I don’t usually do my holiday shopping at a place where I can also get an oil change.” She stabs the lamb in the ear with her fork, removing a large chunk of it. She steers it towards Mulder’s mouth, making an airplane noise.

He takes an experimental bite, the gritty icing thick on his tongue. “This isn’t the worst,” he allows, chewing.

“Imagine my relief.” She eats the rest of the ear, a treat she usually lost to her siblings. The coconut is dense and chewy, full of sense memory.

Mulder puts his arm around her, drawing her head against his shoulder. “So do, uh, do you really believe it all? The Virgin Birth, the Temptation in the Desert, the literal rising from the dead?” He knows it’s an unfair question, knows her faith is raw and shaken these days, but he wants to understand. He longs to see the structure she does in the universe, the benevolent architecture of the grand design.

She sighs, burrowing in. Does she? Did she ever? “It’s complicated,” she tells them both.

He kisses her murky brown head. “I know.”

Scully pulls off the lamb’s nose, the same pink as her toenails. She turns it over in her fingers, frosting stuck to the smooth shell of it. She polishes it on the tea towel. “I believe in God. I believe that He acted through Christ to show us a better way to live. I believe that the stories about Christ, whether literal or allegorical, have value and purpose. I believe they can guide one through a meaningful life. So it almost doesn’t matter, in a way, how precisely they’ve been recounted.”

Mulder eats the jellybean from her fingers, tasting coconut and her tea tree lotion. “So like… the real Resurrection is the friends we made along the way?”

She slaps him lightly, laughing. “Something like that, yeah.”

He cups his hand around the sweep of her jaw, thumbs the tender spot behind her ear. She blushes. After all this time, still, she blushes. It moves him profoundly, re-confirms her as the center of his small orbit.

She smiles like the sun.

Across the room, in the tacky splendor of 1956, Moses is scowling at Pharaoh. His loyalties are torn between those that rescued him from that drifting cradle and those who put him into it. Mulder thinks of his own son, safe in a household of strangers, drawn from his basket of reeds.

He takes a long swallow of his wine, eats another piece of the lamb.

They Mean Everything To Me

Written for @ft-wwtdp Day 21 Prompt: She don’t need nobody to be her man” and Day 24 Prompt: “They mean everything to me”

This is apart of my ’Home is Where They Are’ series which is just happy Erzajane family fluff.

Read on Ao3

The house was quiet when Erza got back from the guild.

Too quiet.

It was mid-afternoon on a Thursday which meant Rhea should be trying to squeeze in some tv time before dinner, Andre should be just waking up from his afternoon nap, and Mirajane should be in the kitchen deciding what she was going to make Erza cook for dinner. They had a routine where they swapped dinner days Sunday-Thursday, ordered takeout Fridays, had dinner at a restaurant on Saturdays, and ate at the guild on Sundays. Thursday dinner was usually a left over of stuff they didn’t use the rest of the week making them team up with something creative, so they didn’t have to drag an 11-year old and a toddler to the market on Thursday night.

Sure enough, Erza found her wife in the kitchen mulling over prepared iteams. Still, it was too quiet. Something was off.

“Mira?”

No answer. Instead of speaking, Mirajane slowly turned allowing Erza to get a good glimpse of her expression.

Its one all too familiar. The bitten lip, tense body language, raising panic displayed so clearly in her eyes.

Oh gosh, it was about the kids then.

“Erza!” Mira hissed suddenly very very serious. “I-I think Rhea’s upset she doesn’t have a father.”

Silence.

“What the-Mirajane?!”

“Wait no!” Mirajane latched onto her wife’s wrist not letting the other woman shake her off. “Listen to me! I’m serious!”

“What is this about?” Erza moved them over to their breakfast bar. She sat down pulling her wife into her lap trying to fight down the rising panic her partner’s words caused.

“Tell me everything but please start from the beginning.”

“Well its what Rhea said when she got home from school”

“When I said you needed to eat more baby, I didn’t mean me” Mira cooed to the toddler in her arms. She got was a wide toothy smile in return.

They really should talk to Wendy about this biting phase. Little Andre had chewed on Rhea’s dolls, drooled over Erza’s scrolls, and bit holes through more than one of Mira’s dresses. This behavior was to be expected from a teething toddler, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with.

She shifted Andre onto her hip and ran her freed arm under the sink’s cold water. Andre had mostly calmed down now running his tanned hands through her white hair. Raising Andre was an experience. They had adopted Rhea when she was already a child, an independent one at that. She was a bright girl that didn’t need much discipline or guidance. She just required a lot of attention. Rhea used to follow Mira and/or Erza around the house telling them all about her day, what she did, who she talked too, etc. She’d even climb into their bed at night still in the middle of a story about something that happened days ago. She was their little chatterbox, and they loved that, until she got older and suddenly they had to ask how her day was. Now at 11 Rhea didn’t tell them everything about her day like she did when she was 8 and 9. Erza and Mirajane were slowly being shut out more from their daughter’s day-to-day life, especially her school life.

Mirajane teaches Magic 101 classes for the children of the guild 3 days a week. She brings Rhea along despite the girl having no magic herself because both Mira and Erza decided it was still important for her to learn about it being surrounded by wizards. Rhea also attended a regular school with other children without magic during the week. They decided it would be a good option for her to have opportunities outside of wizarding. (Secretly, the thought of her daughter never going into the dangerous and unpredictable life of a wizard was more comforting to Mira then she would voice out loud.)

Right on time, the front door slammed open and small feet could be heard coming across the doorway. Mirajane turned around in surprise to see Rhea, still fresh in her school outfit, lingering by the kitchen entrance.

“Oh.” She gasped before quickly swallowing down her astonishment. Rhea had started going straight to her room after school a couple months ago. Today was obviously different. Judging by her squirming, she obviously wanted to talk.

Biting back a smile, Mirajane turned the sink off and faced her daughter. “Hey hunny, how was school.”

“It was okay.” Rhea moved forward to lightly squeeze Andre’s toes. The toddler laughed and made grabby hands at his sister indicating wanting to go to her. Mira handed Andre to her and started pulling out the ingredients for dinner. She heard the two playing behind her until Andre’s uneven footsteps ran out of the kitchen.

“Can I help make dinner?”

“Of course, hunny!”

They worked in silence before Rhea broke it. “Do you remember the Rose girl I told you about.”

“The one with the wizard father? Yes, I remember her.”

“Well her dad came into lunch today and brought her this big gift basket full of chocolate flowers. It was because he was out on a job and missed her performing in the play last week. Anyways Rose was really happy, and everyone spent all lunch talking about all things their dads do for them cause they were jealous of Rose’s awesome basket.”

“Oh? Well did she share with them?”

“Well yeah but that’s not the point mom.” Mirajane looked over to see Rhea frowning down at the table. “I just-it was sweet you know? It was really nice, and everyone was talking about all the stuff their dads do for them and I just…I don’t have that.”

Rhea shook her head sending her red curls bouncing across her face. “It’s stupid but I just couldn’t help to think of that. Anyways I’m going to go watch t.v. till dinners done.”

And Rhea walked right out of the kitchen not noticing the shock her words induced in her mother.

“Okay…that does sound bad.” Erza admitted.

“See!”

“But it’s something fixable.”

“Do you have a plan then?”

A killer smile, “You know I do.”

~

Rhea walked down the hill leading to the entrance of her school carefully. A concerned frown appeared on her face as she attempted to continue walking forward without jostling the basket in her hands. She was almost to the bottom when a voice called her name. Rhea glanced behind her to see Rose skirting down the hill.

“Hey!” Rose smiled big and wide as usual.

“Hey.” She shifted the basket in her arms again. It was getting heavier the longer she held it.

“Ohh what’s that?! Is that a candy basket?”

“Yeah. I uh, I told my moms about what your dad did yesterday. I think they misunderstood what I said.”

She didn’t tell Mama Mira about Rose’s dad giving her the gift basket in school because she wanted one. She just thought it was a pretty awesome thing to do.

She looked over at Rose now smiling a bit thinking of yesterday. Rose was by far the nicest girl in their class, and half of the class either loved or hated her for it. A lot of the meaner remarks about Rose were targeted at her looks and her father. Her dad had some sort of magic that turned his skin gray, his eyes red, and his hair the color of ash. Her mom, on the other hand, had a glowing brown skin tone, a few shades lighter than Rhea’s own dark skin, and chestnut brown hair that was always pulled back into a bun when she dropped Rose off in the mornings. Rose got mix features from the two of them with light skin similar to Mama Erza’s, sun-bleached blonde hair, and really pretty eyes that look purple in sunlight. Rose was a little bigger than most of the other girls in class too and they tried to use that to make fun of her before Rhea put a stop to it. They’ve been friends ever since.

And maybe it was seeing Rose, whose been made fun of because of her dad, run and jump proudly into her father’s arms in the crowded cafeteria that made Rhea say what she did yesterday. But she didn’t mean to insinuate that she was unhappy with having two moms instead of a mom and a dad. No, she just meant she wondered what it would be like to have a dad that came to see her first thing after a job. But last night before bed, she realized that she didn’t need to wonder about that. She’s already lived it whenever her Mamas come back from jobs and smother her as if they haven’t seen her in years instead of days. And her room was filled with gifts from all over the world brought back from jobs. Rhea had gone to sleep last night knowing that she didn’t need a dad when she had the two of them. She had forgotten all about it the next morning until she came down the stairs to find a brightly decorated left-over Easter basket filled with chocolate swords, wings, hearts and bunnies. Her moms smiled so brightly when they gave it to her that she accepted the basket with a confused thank you and left for school.

“These are so cool! Why are there 4 different ones?”

“I guess there supposed to resemble our family.” Rhea answered taking a closer look. “The swords are obviously Mama Erza. The wings resemble one of Mama Mira’s takeovers. The bunny’s probably Andre since that’s what Mama Erza calls him. And the hearts me.” Rhea blushed a little. She was not about to tell Rose of the time she made her moms heart shaped cards for Valentine’s day. Way too embarrassing.

“That’s so sweet! They probably spent all night working on these. Your moms are pretty cool.”

“Yeah,” Rhea smiled. “Yeah they are.”

Today was Friday meaning both her mothers were going to be home early with takeout. She’d explain that this was a big misunderstanding, but she still appreciated her mothers love and didn’t need anyone else but them. They’d all cuddle on the couch and watch Andre attempt to chew through the head of the bunny she got him for Christmas last year. And tonight, she’d grab Andre and they’d sleep in their moms room.

For now, she glanced at her friend. “Do you wanna share some of these with me?”

“Of course! Are you gonna share with the rest of the class too?”

“Are you kidding?” Rhea scoffed. “I’m not nice like you. If those freeloaders want some their gonna have to pay.”

Rhea went home that night with a pocket full of jewels and a content smile on her face.

381

Where did you get what you wore to bed last night? I decided to stay over at Gabie’s place at the last minute and didn’t bring a change of clothes, so she lent me one of her duster dresses. Do your parents smoke? Nope. Do you know anyone who has a ton of real fur clothes? As far as I know I don’t, and I hope there really is no one. If Britney Spears came to your town, would you go see her concert? It’s a cool prospect, but I wouldn’t go. What about Hedley? See I don’t even have the slightest clue who they/that are/is.

When you're cranky, do you take it out on others? Yep. Have you ever worn a pair of leather (fake or real) pants? No. I’d die from how hot it would be. Are you older then sixteen? Yes. If the last person you kissed asked you to marry them, what would you do? I always talk about how excited I am to get married, but if she asked me at this moment I’d find it freaky and say that it’s too early to do such a thing. What color pen did you last use? Black. Do you know who Craig Owens is? I don’t think so. What was the last message you received about? I was just talking to Gabie about her dad and asking her for reassurance that he likes and approves of me. He’s really nice, but he’s intensely quiet, and as a mass communication major who’s used to being surrounded by talkative people and filling the silence with noise, his quietness unnerved me quite a bit. Side story: The three of us had dinner last night and even though I begged her not to, Gabie went to the washroom, leaving me with her dad for several minutes. Filipino parents would normally break the ice and ask questions, but he immediately went on his phone and DID. NOT. TALK. TO ME. As if I wasn’t there. It wasn’t necessarily rude, it’s just the way he is according to Gab. It was straight out of a movie, I was so uncomfortable–even mortified to an extent–and looked around at other tables for a bit and wondered if we were gonna stay like that for eternity. I put my masscom skills to the table and came up with a topic, which thankfully lasted until he came back. Do you ever suddenly jolt awake when you're almost asleep? It happens sometimes. What shoes do you wear to work out in? I don’t work out. Has a bookshelf or desk, etc, of yours ever randomly collapse? I don’t remember that ever happening. What's the longest you ever stayed at someone else's house? Idk, I never really overstay. The longest has probably been at Angela’s - I’d sometimes stay close to a full 24 hours there. What is your favorite aunt's middle name? I think it’s Josette. What was the subject of the last science fair project you did? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA can we forget fucking investigative projects please omg those made my high school life HELL Do you think making a guy/girl jealous is a good way to get together? It’s certainly petty. I like petty. Is your math teacher married? I haven’t taken a math class since freshman year; but no, I don’t think that prof is married. Name something you used to wear that you thought you looked SO good in, but now when you see it is actually hideous? It’s not hideous, but I had a stiletto phase when I was 13 and would wear 6-inch heels to the fucking mall. It’s so embarrassing to look back on, especially when I realize now that people weren’t staring at me because they were impressed with my heels, they were staring because I looked fucking dumb. Do you miss your last ex? I missed her too much I got back together with her. When you believe in the Easter Bunny, what did you think it looked like? Chandler Bing from that one Halloween episode. What about the tooth fairy? I didn’t really have an image in mind, I just wanted her to give me money. Do you/did you have a religion class in school? I went to a Catholic school, so yes. But the school I go to now prohibits any kind of religious promotion. There are religious orgs and people of any and every religion are allowed to step into the university, but coaxing people to prayer or something of that manner isn’t allowed. Has your best friend ever ditched you for a guy/girl? Never. Do you ever get jealous of your friends? Sometimes, but they’re my friends so it passes. Do you think it's stupid when people online out over little spelling errors? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. Is there someone who calls or texts you every night to say goodnight? Gabie. If your best friend got cancer, would you shave your head with them? I would probably do it for Gabie or Anj. Did you kiss anyone on New Year's this year? No, my girlfriend and I always spend the holidays with our families. Name someone you know who is Buddhist. I’ve heard one of my classmates from high school is a Buddhist, but I never got that confirmed cos I never really cared for her. Has anyone ever purposely made a food of you? What does this even mean? Like a cupcake with my face on it? No. Would you rather work at a fast food restaurant or be a garbage man? Fast food but I’d rather stay inside the kitchen or have a role that won’t require me to be social. I wouldn’t want to deal with pissy old people. What was the subject of the last essay you wrote? Chinese-Filipino relations in the Philippines from the 1970s to the present. Does your mom wear makeup? Yes. Do you kiss your boyfriends/girlfriends in front of your parents? I held Gabie’s hand while we were with her dad last night, but no I don’t kiss her. Have you ever spent Christmas alone? I’m always with my family, but I do feel mentally alone. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? Yes. Do you say attractive, hot, or sexy or something else about guys/girls? Um I mean I say ‘pretty’ a lot. Is there a member of the opposite sex you'd do ANYTHING for? Gabie’s dad tbh. Does your favorite uncle have any children? No. Has anyone ever kissed you when you were so not expecting it? I’m sure it’s happened before. Was it a good surprise kiss? Or bad? Good, cos all my kisses always come from my girlfriend haha. Do you know which has more alcohol: beer or vodka? It’s gotta be vodka, right? Name a Nintendo 64 game. Mario Kart 64. Hahaha, easy way out. Do you use gift bags or wrapping paper? Gift bags, because I’m absolutely hopeless with gift-wrapping. Do you ever day dream about the person you like? She comes up from time to time, yes. Have you ever sat in front of a kicking and crying child on a plane? No thank godddddd. Name all the members (first, middle and last names) from your favorite band. Hayley Nichole Williams, Zachary Wayne Farro, Taylor Benjamin York. Do you still have any Pokemon cards? Nah, those disappeared like a decade ago. How many cards are in your wallet? I’ve never really gotten to counting them. YouTube, Facebook or Bzoink? I mean I use them all for different reasons. I’d go to YouTube for videos, Facebook for work, and Bzoink to find surveys. Have you ever tried to make something right but it just messed it up more? Do you mean all the time? Has someone ever approached you and offered you drugs? Never. I’d be so shocked and probably get an anxiety attack haha. ^ What did you do? Do you like the picture on your ID? NO. It had been drizzling and I had no umbrella + I was late for Math class ON MY FIRST DAY AS A COLLEGE FRESHMAN so I was so hassled. You can make out my wet hair a bit in the photo. What would you do if your favorite artist came to town but your parents wouldn't let you go? Find a way. Do you type really or rly? Both. I’d type rly if I was lazy, talking to a friend, or if I’m lazy and talking to a friend. Do you say everything in inititals because saying the full thing is too much work? Only with close friends. Have you ever found someone on the Sims to be attractive? No??? What was your first kiss like? Clueless and lots of fumbling around from me. Gab kissed me as though she’s done it a thousand times though. Is there someone you pretend to like but they really piss you off? I remember so many people. What does AP stand for? As a journalism student I understood that as Associated Press. What's something you wish was different? The country I live in. Do you ever say 'I'm rotted?’ Never said that in my life. What's the last color of jeans you saw? I saw? Light blue. Do you know anyone who refuses to swear? Yeah there were a couple of goody two shoes in high school who would absolutely refuse to. Who knows, college might have changed them. Have you ever heard a young child swear? No. Have you ever heard your grandparents swear? My maternal grandfather did, but I’ve never heard the other three do so. Have you heard all your friends swear? DUH hahaha.

Santa Claus (Opinion)

Since Christmas is right around the corner I figured this particular opinion post would focus on the holly jolly man in the red suite...Santa Claus.

So who is this Santa Claus. In our culture here in the United States of America, Santa Claus is a man who lives at the North Pole. He has a workshop where the toys are made for all of the good children of the world. How are the toys made? Well, a bunch of little creatures called elves work all year (with no pay) to make these toys in time for them to be delivered by Christmas morning. 

How does Santa deliver these toys? Why, in a magical sled pulled along by eight (nine if you count the red nosed one) reindeer who can...fly. On the night of Christmas Eve, Santa flies around the entire world, breaks in to every house and leaves toys for the good kids.  

If you haven't figured it out from my maybe obvious sarcasm, I am not a fan of Santa Claus. In fact, I find him to be very harmful and not just from a Christian perspective. We will touch on the Christian perspective of course, because this blog is taken from such perspective, but I will also throw in why even those who stay far away from the church should also caution themselves when it comes to ol’ St. Nick.

Reason #1: Santa Is A Lie

If you are reading this and you still believe in Santa...well, spoiler alert, he’s not real. This shouldn’t be a controversial idea. Santa Claus is not real. He doesn’t live in the North Pole, he does not have a magic sled (because that’s not real either). He does not have several flying reindeer (because those don’t exist either...reindeer do, just not the flying kind). There is no toy factory at the North Pole where a bunch of little enslaved creatures work day after day all year to make toys for no pay. It’s all fantasy. 

Is there anything wrong with fantasy? No. God gave us an imagination. Fantasy has been used by many people to promote the gospel. A good example is the famous and wonderful Chronicles of Narnia saga by C. S. Lewis. When you have an active imagination, you can use that for the glory of God! So now why is Santa different? When you read stories to your children such as Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings you make it clear (or at least you should) that what is going on is not real. Hogwarts does not exist. Middle Earth is not a real place. You read these stories because they are entertaining and there are wonderful lessons that can be learned from them. The whole Santa Claus narrative is most commonly told to children as real and true. 

How many of you grew up believing in Santa Claus? I’m sure many of you did! I did. The Bible says this...

- So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors , for we are all part of the same body. (Ephesians 4:25)

I know what some of you are thinking...this is a little intense. That’s the point. I think many of us as Christians see that there are two levels of lying. The lying that is really bad and the lying that is not that bad because it’s not hurting anything. Right? Wrong. All lying is wrong. All lying is sin. The Bible is very clear on this. We as Christians are supposed to be witnesses to truth! That’s all truth. 

We tell our kids they shouldn’t lie to us. We tell our kids that lying is a sin. Then we need to be an example of this and not lie to them! No matter how big or small we think the lie may be, it is still a lie. And in case you’re wondering, I believe this applies to all fictional things such as the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Great Pumpkin, Bigfoot and that creepy baby angel Cupid.

Reason #2: Santa Teaches a Gospel of Works

If we want to raise our kids in a Christ centered home with a Bible based way of seeing things then we need to apply it to our whole lives and not pick and choose. The Bible teaches that it is by grace through faith alone that we are saved and not by works so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9). So if this is the case, then why do we tach that Santa will only reward you if you are good?

He knows if you’ve been bad or good so be good for goodness sake. I think most know this song. And I think we can all agree that being kind to others and acting with other people’s best interest instead of our own. That’s sacrificial. But it does not count towards our salvation. At all. Our works are as filthy rags to God. If we try to earn or even contribute to our salvation through good works then we are fighting a losing fight. God loved us so he made a way for us to have access to him through the death of Christ. This is a gift freely given to us. We did not earn it. It’s not based on if we’ve been bad or good.

Parents will use this idea of Santa to get their kids to behave. I remember my mom or dad would say things like, “You better be good because Santa is watching!” And this would sometimes cause me to get my act together because I wanted to make sure I got that one special gift for Christmas. I am not faulting my parents. Like most parents, I do not believe there is any intent to lead their children astray. They see it as a fun little way of getting in the Christmas spirit. My parents were very good about making sure me and my brother knew that Jesus was the reason for the season. However, there were times when it crossed over in to “do this or Santa will know and you won’t get anything for Christmas!” 

To repeat. God gives us the free gift of salvation for all who repent and turn from sin and surrender to Christ. It has nothing to with us. What we do. It has everything to do with what Jesus has done. 

Reason #3: Santa Discriminates

What do I mean by this? This is probably the simplest point I can make. When we do the Santa thing with our kids we are not taking other people in to consideration. Let me paint a picture for you...

Family A is an upper-middle class family. They have a  lovely young son who really wants an Xbox for Christmas. He has not been very good all year but he is sure Santa is going to bring one for him.

Family B is a lower income family with an equally lovely young son who also really wants and Xbox for Christmas. He has been good all year. Respects his parents, gets good grades, says please and thank you. Great kid.

Well, Christmas comes and Family A has put a brand new Xbox under the tree for their child while Family B does not because they can’ afford one. They give their son what they can. Both kids happen to go to the same school and are in the same class. Kid from Family A is talking about his new Xbox that Santa gave him and kid from Family B overhears him.

Why didn’t Santa bring him one if he brought the kid from Family A one? Did he do something wrong? Was he not good enough? Or does Santa not like lower class people?

You see the issue here? 

We put so much value on our possessions. And we like people to know what we have. We like people to see the car we drive or the clothes we wear or we want them to know that we have the latest and greatest gadget. I have an iPhone, and I think the most common question I get asked is, “what iPhone do you have.” When I answer they usually respond with, “Oh, I have the newest one. It’s great.” Why do I care? Why should I care?

You shouldn’t care. Because the worth of someone is not found in what someone has. It is found in their character. I am reminded of a story from the Bible where Jesus and his disciples are at the temple. Jesus points out the rich people like to make a show of their giving. They do it for the attention and not because they want to be generous but because they have the extra money and what they’re giving isn’t a sacrifice to them. And then comes this woman who puts in two little coins. Jesus points her out and says that she gave more because she gave everything shad had. Her heart was in the right place. 

The idea of Santa falls in this category of the rich. We give these gifts because we want to be recognized. Be good and get gifts and tell everyone that Santa brought it to you. Santa is all for show and it’s all about me. If we teach our kids to give instead of receive, to abandon this idea of a Santa who discriminates against the less fortunate then we are able to teach them about a God who gave everything to us. To make a sacrifice on our behalf, not because we’ve been good or bad but because he loves us. It doesn’t matter if you’re rich or poor, doesn’t matter what part of the world you’re from. Jesus extends this invitation to all who repent and turn to him. This is something Santa cannot offer.

I am not saying receiving gifts is bad. I’m not saying to have a desire for something is bad. What is bad is when we tell our children that there is this man who seems to know everything (sees us when we’re sleeping. Knows when we’re awake. Knows if we’ve been bad or good) and yet seems to forget about or doesn’t care about the kids in the families who can’t afford the luxuries other people can.

Reason #4: Santa Takes the Place of Jesus

I do think we need to be cautious though. There are much bigger issues in the Bible that need to be addressed when it comes to what we teach our children, but, the Bible does paint a pretty harsh picture of what should happen to someone who leads children away from Jesus (Matthew 18:6). Again, do I think that if you are a parent who does the Santa thing is guilty of this? Not necessarily, but could that be the case? Yes. When the child chooses Santa over Jesus. When Jesus is put aside and Santa takes that spot, then I believe you are walking on dangerous ground. 

Jesus needs to be the focus and the center of our entire lives. Everything we do should be Jesus centered. The moment something takes the place of Jesus in our lives we have crossed over in to sin. Don’t get me wrong, we all do this from time to time. We are human beings. We are not perfect. Yes we will stumble, but we repent. However, when we knowingly and willingly put Santa in our children’ t head as this all knowing judge of good and bad, we cross a line. We lie to them. We push Jesus to the side. And that is not good. Not good at all.

Bonus Reason: Santa Is Just Kind Of Creepy

Let’s just take a moment and remember a quote from a lovely little fellow named Olaf; “Breaking and entering: Okay on Christmas.” And I might add that it’s okay as long as it’s someone who is bringing you a gift that you really, really, really, really wanted. Can I just remind everyone that this person called Santa apparently breaks in to your house by means of chimney. And according to a semi-entertaining movie from years back, if you don’t have a fireplace one would just appear. I like how they fill that plot hole but not the one about kids in 3rd world countries. The point I’m making is Santa is just plain creepy.

Conclusion: I know many of you who read this probably think I am being way too picky about this and that it’s not as big of a deal as I am making it out to be. And that’s okay. That’s why this is marked as an opinion blog. Unlike most of my other blogs, this is all based on my own opinion of what I see in scripture. If you do the Santa thing with your kids, I do not see you as a bad person nor would I avoid you if I saw you in a Walmart picking out one of those giant inflatable yard Santas. I love you and you have your own convictions. I just argue that maybe some re-evaluation takes place with the whole Santa Claus thing.

God bless.

-Ty