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where-theres-smoak-2 · 2 years

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HOTD Ep 8 Review/Analysis (Spoilers)

Whew this episode wrecked me, I was not expecting to be so emotionally moved as I was. I say this every week but I really do think this is one of the best episodes of the season, they really do just keep outdoing themselves. I think whilst last episode was the most intense of the season this one was hands down the most emotional. A lot of what brought out such emotional responses from the audience this episode was due to the actors’ performances, I really cannot applaud them all enough. But I do have to praise Paddy in particular, the man deserves an emmy, his performance was just flawless in this episode. Anyway here are my thoughts on the episode as always a spoiler warning applies.

Heir to the Driftwood Throne

We open the episode learning that six years have past and that Rhaenys has not seen Corlys in those six years as he has been once again fighting in the Step Stones. We don’t know much about why Corlys returned to the step stones but I could see it being because of the loss of his children and the tension between him and his wife, that he is using the step stones as a way to escape from that pain and deal with his anger and grief at the whole mess. It is sad though that he is now potentially on his death bed but he has been away from his wife for so long, I hope that he pulls through and that we get to see him reconcile with Rhaenys because I do believe that these two genuinely love each other despite being estranged at the moment. I think you can see that Rhaenys is worried for her husband despite the distance between them she is pained at the thought of him being wounded and she clearly does not want him to die. This scene between Rhaenys and Vaemond perfectly sets up what this episode is going to be about, its once again this question of blood vs name and I saw this scene very much as a continuation of the one between Rhaenys and Corlys from ep 7. Vaemond clearly, like Rhaenys last ep, cares more about ensuring the bloodline as opposed to legacy like Corlys. I do think Vaemond believes he is in the right and that Driftmark should be his but I also think he is seizing an opportunity here, he is taking advantage of the fact that the King is incapacitated and that the Greens are the ones in power and that they will seize any opportunity to weaken Rhaenyra and her claim to the Iron Throne. When Rhaenys warns Vaemond that the King would have his tongue for saying that Rhaenyra’s children are not legitimate he replies that it doesn’t matter because its the Queen that has the power right now.

News update, yeah Otto is still manipulating his daughter, who would have guessed. It does seem like in those six years since we last saw her Alicent has deepened her connection with religion, she has always been all about doing your duty and what not but I do think that after having her darker side come out, when she demanded an eye in payment for Aemond losing his and cutting Rhaenyra, I can understand why she turned even more into her religion and being guided by the gods. She is trying to curb those darker instincts to keep herself on track, I do think she regretted how she behaved and is searching for some redemption there. But she is failing to recognise the snake in her garden of paradise, her father. He is still pulling the strings and we see this in that scene between Otto, Alicent and Vaemond in the small council room. Alicent is clearly uncomfortable with the situation but Otto uses fearmongering to scare Alicent into making a deal with Vaemond, just as he did in episode 5 when he is removed as Hand of the king and he plants the seed in Alicent’s head that Rhaenyra is a threat to her children. Now he is telling her that war is nearing and that if that happens they can’t have a child in charge of the most powerful fleet in the realm. It’s kind of a moot point though because I would assume that just as she ahs sat in his seat during his absence at war Rhaenys would act on Lucerys behalf, or at least guide him, until he came of age. So it wouldn’t be leaving the fleet entirely in the hands of a child. But still Otto uses this as a way to manipulate Alicent to convince her this is what is best for the realm. The pot is sweetened of course by Vaemond pointing out that the as the Lord of the Tides he would be indebted to the Hightowers all but confirming that he would give his support to Aegon’s succession should the King die which would give them a huge advantage over Rhaenyra as they would have the most powerful fleet at their disposal, the seas effectively would be theirs to rule. This lends her son a lot of protection and as that previous seed Otto planted has bloomed into a paranoia over the years, combined with her son losing an eye the last time the Blacks and Greens were together, it makes this deal with Vaemond all the more appealing to Alicent. There was something that irritated me with this scene though and it is something that irritates me alot when it comes to the Greens and that is they put on this show of being by the law, of holding up the values of the seven, of holding up duty, the law, family and yet here they are conniving and plotting behind closed doors. They’ve already decided that Vaemond will be heir to Driftmark in this room which makes the pageant of hearing all the petitions and acting like its all fair and by the book nothing more than a farce. Sometimes I just can’t take how hypocritical they are as they will call Rhaenyra out and try and shame her for not doing her duty or for breaking the law, for being dishonest and yet they flout it all themselves as well.

The scene between Rhaenys and Rhaenyra in the God’s Wood was an interesting one. There is clearly alot of tension there due to the fact that Rhaenys believes that Rhaenyra played a hand in her son’s death. The deal that Rhaenyra offers Rhaenys is a good one. I said myself after ep 7 that it would make sense to marry Daemon’s daughters to Rhaenyra’s sons as that would ensure that both the Velaryon name and blood would inherit Driftmark one day, also as the added bonus marrying Jace and Baela means that one day Velaryon blood will also sit on the Iron Throne. I found it had to really work out what Rhaenys’ intentions were in this scene. Rhaenyra says that she believes that Rhaenys plans to advocate for herself but we never hear Rhaenys confirm it or deny it. When Rhaenyra says ‘what does it matter’ after Rhaenys says her offer is either a generous one or a desperate one and Rhaenys replied ‘you are right in this at least. It does not matter.’ I watched that moment over and over trying to get a read on what exactly Rhaenys was thinking there, when she tells Rhaenyra that she can bargain as much as she likes but tomorrow the Hightowers will bring Rhaenyra to her knees I don’t think she was being malicious or mean like I first thought. Rhaenys seem to me to be very tired and alone, her children are dead, her husband is gravely wounded, her brother in law is trying to get Driftmark for himself and cares little for her, her grandsons are not her son’s by blood, she has slowly watched House Velaryon crumble apart. She has watched her husband strive to give his family a legacy and seen how that has led their house to calamity, I think she’s now at the point where she believes the sacrifices made were not worth the outcome, in the end it all came to nothing, it didn’t matter. The cost was disproportionate to the prize. So when Rhaenyra offers her this perfect solution, the perfect deal that could enhance her family’s house, give them more power and ensure the continuation of their line, a deal she knows her husband would take, she just feels numb to it. She reminds me a little in this episode of Viserys in ep 3 where he was just done with all the politicking. I think Rhaenys in this moment is done too, she’s had enough and she just doesn’t care anymore, what does she really have left to fight for? Her granddaughters maybe, I mean she is right when she says Rhaenyra brought Rhaena with her to soften her resolve, but I think whilst Rhaenys cares about her granddaughters she does not want to continue playing this game and risk losing them like she did her children.

But I also think when she looks at Rhaenyra in this moment its like she is looking in a mirror, she is seeing herself. A mother who wanted the best for her children, who is trapped in this political game and who is frightened and desperate. A woman who knows what it is like for a realm to disregard you as an heir and think a male should be Ruler in your place purely because you are a woman. I think it is very telling that Rhaenys says ‘and I must stand alone’ when she says the Greens will bring Rhaenyra to her knees. I think she believes that Rhaenyra has already lost to the Greens, that there is no escaping her fate, that this is the way of things and so now Rhaenys has lost even that last ally she had, now she must stand alone.

As Rhaenys leaves you can see the look of absolute despair and desperation come crashing down on Rhaenyra, Emma just played that moment so well. You can see the fear and utter helplessness she feels as she too must feel like she is standing alone against the world. The scene where she goes to her fathers bedside at night was another moment that just tore at my heart. This was the moment when you realise just how heavy a burden it has been for Rhaenyra to be heir to the throne, to have everyone be against her and to face challenges to her right as heir at every turn, to be used by others for whatever they can gain politically. To bear the pressure of providing heirs whilst she and her husband struggle to have children together, to then out of desperation have children by another man just so that you have those heirs and because at least this other man made you feel desired and you got some joy form it, to then fear for the fate of those children because now others are using them as weapons against you and your claim and then on top of all that to have this secret knowledge of an upcoming apocalypse that you have the responsibility to make sure the realm remains united and that your bloodline continues because you believe the only way to save the literal world is to have a Targaryen on the throne. As she herself says its a burden too heavy to carry on her own. This is why she pleads with her father to defend her. She knows that she is on the brink of potentially losing everything. The whole scene is just so heartbreaking and in that moment she was just a daughter who needed her father. What made it more heartbreaking was that it seems like Viserys is too out of it to understand what she was saying or even that she is really there. It is clear to her that her father is not long for this world and I think that must make her feel alone and lost.

Protector of the Realm

My favourite sequence in this whole episode was when Rhaenyra steps up to make her petition on behalf of her son and then the doors open and Viserys enters. It’s amazing to me how they managed to take something as simple as an old man walking down a hall and turn it into something so majestic and epic. The goosebumps this scene gave me and I feel no shame in saying I got all choked up. I loved the look on Rhaenyra’s face when she realises that her father was there for her, that he had found the strength to pull himself out of bed and walk to that throne one more time so that he can defend her, that her heard her when she pleaded to him for his help. The music in this scene was magnificent too I mean Ramin Djawadi never disappoints and once again he hit it out of the park with the soundtrack for this scene. I also found out that the name of this theme is Protector of the Realm and honestly I nearly cried all over again when I found that out because whatever faults Viserys had as King one thing I was always sure of was that he wanted to protect the realm, he wanted the realm to be united. Also in this moment he really shows up as the protector, not just for the realm but for his heir and daughter, the heir and daughter who he believes will be the protector of the realm herself, its a mantle he intends to pass to her. If you wish for me to bear it then defend me and my children, this is what she asks of him and when he shows up for her he is giving her his answer, that he believes that she has the strength to bear it, that he believes in her. To his very end he stands by his promise to her in episode 3, that he will not see her supplanted.

If Viserys entering the hall had me choked up then I was downright bawling when his crown falls and Daemon comes and picks it up and helps him up to the throne. I spoke about this quite a bit in this post if you want to read my more in depth thoughts on that moment, but I will add to it that what makes this moment so touching is that all Daemon has ever really wanted is to be needed and wanted by his brother. Viserys turns down help from his guard and goes to do the same again after his crown falls until he sees it is Daemon. Here he accepts his brother’s help and he leans on his brother. When that crown falls you can see the utter exhaustion fall over him, he knows he needs to get up those stairs but it is such a struggle for him, I think when he looks over and sees his brother at his side it gives him that remaining strength he needed, as they are walking up the stairs you can see Viserys looking over at his brother now and again as if to draw more strength from him, to remind him to keep climbing these stairs. What makes it so special is that despite everything that has happened between them, all the arguments and the estrangements, when Viserys truly needed him Daemon was there, all that mattered was that they were brothers.

I said above that I thought Rhaenys was done, that she was too tired to continuing playing this game, well maybe I am interpreting it all wrong but I do think that seeing Viserys do this, standing up to defend his daughter, inspires her, gives her some of her strength back, some of that fighting spirit she had back. I think maybe Rhaenys felt helpless and felt like it didn’t matter what she did or said because the men in her life would also have the power to over rule her, they would always have the power, she was passed over for the throne because she was a woman, her husband over ruled her when it came to her wishes with the succession of Driftmark, Vaemond also disregards her and goes over her head to make a deal with the Greens despite her telling him that Corlys wanted Lucerys to inherit. When Viserys asks Rhaenys to speak on behalf of what her husband wanted you can see her surprise for a moment, but then you see her send a triumphant look at Vaemond. In that moment she was given some of her power back, she recognises that she is the one that could be the deciding factor here. She can say anything she wants, that Corlys said he wants her to be his heir, or that he wanted Baela to be, or she could side with Vaemond and say Corlys wanted it to pass to his brother. She is the one with all the cards. It must have been refreshing for her to decide the fate of her house and family for once. What is interesting to me is what she chooses to do with that moment of power that she has, she chooses to accept Rhaenyra’s deal to wed Baela and Rhaena to Jace and Luke. She chooses to back Lucerys’ claim to Driftmark, but I don’t think she really does this for Luke’s sake I think she does it for Rhaenyra and for Baela and for Rhaena. She choses to uplift the other females in her life, to help them raise to positions of power themselves. The fact that it benefits her house as well is a bonus. You can see Rhaenyra looking very surprised that Rhaenys supported her but there is a blink and you miss it moment when Rhaenys turns back to re-join Baela and she looks to Rhaenyra and they share a smile, I loved to see it and I hope these two band together now because I really think they could benefit from each other and they would be a real powerhouse of a pairing.

He Can Keep His Tongue

The Greens knew they were in trouble the moment they saw Viserys enter the throne room. I loved the looks of shock on their faces and seeing them all look around at each other like this wasn’t part of the plan, what do we do now. Vaemond really does not know how to play this game though, like I understand how frustrated he must be because technically he is telling the truth, I could kind of understand where he was coming from but if you are going to play the game you have to play it smart and Vaemond did not get that message. I think the issue is that the Velaryon’s have alot of pride, we have seen it in the part with Corlys and so there are times when they should really hold their tongue but instead their pride and anger takes over and they lash out.

Whilst I do understand where Vaemond was coming from I don’t believe him when he said it was a matter of blood not ambition, as if it was really only about blood and him ensuring that his family’s bloodline did not come to an end then he would have been ok with the marriage deal between Luke and Rhaena as that would allow for the continuation of the Velaryon bloodline, as Rhaena does have Velaryon blood. But even after learning of the marriage deal he still challenges the King, I think for a moment Vaemond thought he was going to get Driftmark, that he was going to be Lord of the Tides and have immense power, I suspect it was something of his brother’s that he coveted and he had it at his fingertips only for it to be torn away. His anger at losing Driftmark causes his tongue to loosen, pun intended. I mean I don’t know what he thought was going to happen when he called the King’s grandsons bastards and his daughter a whore but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out it won’t be anything good. I loved how when Vaemond hesitates on the word bastard the first time Daemon whispers ‘say it’ he is challenging Vaemond in this moment, but it is also a threat. Say it and see what happens. Vaemond doesn’t just say it he yells it as loudly as he can, he wants to makes sure that everyone hears. The way Daemon kills him is very Daemon like. I mean the guy deliberately cuts his head off above his mouth just so he can make that quip, ‘he can keep his tongue.’ Daemon really does have some great lines. I also love that Otto yells disarm him, like dude way too late for that damage is done. But then I also love how Daemon just casually says no need and then sheaths his blade, he knows he’s not going to face any consequences for it.

The ones I feel sorry for in all of this though are Jace, Luke and Joffrey, as they are the ones that are constantly called names and told that they don’t deserve to inherit. They are innocent, they did nothing wrong. Now that they are older they can understand where the allegations come from but that doesn’t change the fact that they grew up believing that Laenor Velaryon was their father, he was the father they knew even if they were also close with Harwin. So it must be so hurtful to them to have people disregard that, to them they are the sons of Laenor despite whose blood runs in their veins. They have to suffer through all of this judgement and to see people not just hurling insults at them but at their mother too so it is understandable why they are sensitive at the subject and why it brings out anger in them. As both Corlys and Lyonel said a dark cloud hangs over them and its something they can’t escape. It only makes me love them more though because despite it they are still sweet and good and well mannered boys.

The Last Supper

Viserys wanting one last supper with his family was again bittersweet. It was one more shot at getting his family to unite, to mend the rift between them. I am convinced that Viserys has been bitterly and stubbornly hanging on this long because he knew that if he died there would be an all out war between the two sides of his family and that is not what he wanted. I think this shows when he finally sees them happy together and it looks like it has been mended and that is when he finally passes.

But I want to talk about this meal because it really was such a masterpiece in acting and cinematography, all the dynamics at play. In many ways it was a beautiful and emotional scene but in others it was also a frustrating one. The speech Viserys made really did move me. Up until now when he demanded that they make up and show good will he came to them as their King. But here he takes off his mask and he says he wants them to see him as he is, he comes to them as their father, brother, husband and grandsire. I don’t think he was ever more human and vulnerable than he was in that moment. When he asks them if they can’t do it for the crown then to do it for the old man who loves them all dearly it really got to me. I do think this is what inspires Rhaenyra to make that first move and toast to Alicent. Her father stepped up for her and here Rhaenyra steps up for him in return. But I also think a part of her did miss her friend and longed for the bond she once shared with Alicent. What Rhaenyra says in this moment I think is very important. In the last episode during that dagger scene Alicent in her frustration and anger says ‘I, what have I done but what was expected of me?’ this was a moment where I really did feel Alicent and where she was coming from, she had always done her duty. She was the dutiful daughter and the dutiful wife. She was expected to marry the King and so she did, she was expected to give him heirs and she did, she was expected to take care of him when his health was failing and she did. In this moment Rhaenyra not only recognises that but shows Alicent the gratitude she deserves for that. But I also think it is important that Rhaenyra offers her apology too, it makes me think of back in ep 1 when Alicent says all she wanted was for someone to say they were sorry for what had happened to her, here she gets that too.

Just like Rhaenyra I think Alicent too has felt sorrow and regret over the loss of the friendship between them. Just like Rhaenyra what Alicent says in return is also important. She recognises that they are both mothers who love their children, she recognises that the actions of both sides were wrought out of love for their children and that in that way they are the same. I also think it is significant that Alicent not only raises her cup to Rhaenyra but to her house too. Alicent has spent much time bringing Rhaenyra’s sons’ legitimacy into question, she disapproved of her relationship with Daemon, yet here she recognises them too, she finally lays it to rest. Of course her stating that Rhaenyra will make a fine queen is also a huge moment for her, she is recognising Rhaenyra as the rightful heir and letting go of that fear she has that Rhaenyra will harm her children. It is clear that Otto is not ok with this sudden turn around but I do think that both Rhaenyra and Alicent’s toasts were genuine and for a moment it seems like everything is going to be ok. But there is also that tension in the air as you are waiting for the other shoe to drop because things are just going too well. This is one of those moments where the Dance could have been avoided which just makes the whole thing so tragic. That scene where everyone is laughing around the table and even Otto is smiling and Viserys is just looking around at his family happy and laughing together was so beautiful and I am happy that this is the last memory he has of his family. It makes me think of what Viserys said to Rhaenyra at the end of ep 3, he wished to see her happy and contented, with a family. There is that moment when he looks over to that side of the table at Rhaenyra and Daemon and all their children and I think he gets his wish in that moment, Rhaenyra is happy and she is contented. I think this is something that Viserys wanted for his whole family. Sadly once he is gone things quickly dissolve.

So I want to talk about the kids here. Whilst the toasts from Rhaenyra and Alicent were genuine and were healing the same can not be said of the children. I will admit to finding some humour in how every time one of their kids stood up to make a toast the adults immediately tensed up like oh god what are they about to say and is it going to ruin everything. There are a few times where it almost seems like this will happen. There is line that Daemon says at the beginning of the episode that I think applies here ‘has the vipers venom spread so far?’ The truth is that the poison they have spat at each other in the past has spread down to their children and poisoned them against each other too. With them being so young when this happened those seeds have stuck, I think with children being so impressionable, especially young children as they were, it is difficult to undo that damage. There is so much built up resentment and trauma between these children and the saddest part was it didn’t need to be that way. There was a time when they were friends, it was the adults influence and example that lead to them turning on each other. Jace’s toast was very much to cover his angry outburst at Aegon disrespecting Baela and it is interesting because it was clever of Jace to play the gracious part and you can see that Aegon is annoyed at this because he was hoping to show Jace up by getting him angry. I do very much feel like that was Aemond and Aegon’s goal here to antagonise Jace and Luke into a fight because it would make them look bad. So when this fails the first time and Jace instead toasts them it makes him angry.

Helaena’s toast was so sad, she clearly feels ignored by Aegon but at the same time that is actually probably for the best. But it is also kind of ironic because Aegon was just antagonising Jace by suggesting he would be an unsatisfactory husband and yet in the next moment his own wife is pretty much calling him out for being a lousy husband. What is worrying though is right after Jace’s speech where he says ‘to you and your family’s good health’ Helaena says one of her cryptic prophecy lines, this time it is ‘beware the beast beneath the board.’ To me this line brings to mind rats, we’ve seen alot of them in the episodes and never when something good is going on, rats that hide under the boards of floors and walls. It also makes me think of people doing things in secret, if you do something under the board you are being deceitful or unfair, unlawful. With the term beast it also makes me think of monsters hiding under your bed, needless to say the line didn’t bring about warm happy feelings especially right after the mention of family’s health.

Jace’s response to Aegon’s nettling and Helaena’s toast is to ask Helaena to dance. Whilst I do think some of it comes out of genuine kindness towards Helaena I also think it was obvious that Jace was trying to annoy Aegon back, he was making a point of actually I am the one who will make the better husband. It also says alot that he makes his excuses to his own betrothed first. That dance scene was so adorable too. But I do feel like Jace very cleverly takes the approach of you can lure more flies to the trap with honey, its the kill them with kindness type attitude.

Of course it all comes to a head over a pig. A roasted pig is put down in front of Aemond and you see Lucerys trying to hold back laughter before it eventually overcomes him. Needless to say Aemond who is still wounded from the pig prank when they were kids gets upset at this and decides to make a toast of his own. Saluting the three strong boys. This is what pushes Jace over the edge after Vaemond calling them bastards in the hall and then Aegon’s jabs all dinner and he throws a punch at Aemond. Naturally Luke jumps into defend his brother and Aegon slams him into the table. I also caught on a rewatch that Baela goes to jump in to defend Jace too but Rhaena holds her back. The thing is, despite being the ones to turn the fight physical it is still Aemond who looks bad here as it is clear to everyone that he was deliberately antagonising the boys. I do love how Daemon comes in and takes control of the situation with just one gesture. He then stares down Aemond and it is clear what he is saying, do you really want to do this? Just as Daemon challenged Vaemond to ‘say it’ here he is making the same challenge to Aemond, who is at least smarter than Vaemond and holds his tongue walking away instead. I do think that Daemon allows some leniency towards Aemond because that is his brother’s son and a Targaryen but I also think it would only go so far, his loyalty is ultimately with Rhaenyra and her sons. I also think the Aemond has some degree of respect for Daemon after the incident in the throne room, he did look impressed and I do feel like he and Daemon are similar. But I won’t be surprised if at some point we see these two come to blows.

What is surprising is even after the fight between their children Rhaenyra and Alicent are still on good terms and it still looks like things might work out. Rhaenyra says she’ll take the children back to Dragonstone and then return and I think Alicent is genuine when she says she would like it. Still I can’t help but wonder if that line about how Rhaenyra will return on dragon back is foreshadowing. I do think Rhaenyra will return on dragon back but I don’t think it’ll be as a friend.

He’s Aegon And Made A Mess Of Things

This was probably the most frustrating scene in the whole episode. Though to be fair I don’t really think it is Viserys’ fault he was all drugged up on milk of the poppy and he thought he was talking to Rhaenyra. It doesn’t help that there are a few too many people running around with the name Aegon. Alicent doesn’t know of the prophecy so I can understand why she thought he was talking about their son but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating. I also am curious about the legality behind it. Like does a statement a dying King made when clearly not in his right state of mind due to milk of the poppy count as an official naming of an heir. I mean with Rhaenyra he held a whole ass ceremony where he publicly named Rhaenyra as heir and had all the lords swear to her. Here he muttered out some garbled nonsense about a prince who was promised and Aegon’s dream. With Robert he had his wishes written out by Ned on his death bed and then he signed it so in that case at least there was written proof of the King’s wishes (even if Cersei just ripped it up). I just think even if Alicent truly believes, and I think she does, that Viserys was trying to say that Aegon should be heir she hasn’t really got any proof of that other than her own word as she was alone in the room with him. I also would have thought that Alicent herself would have recognised that under the influence of the milk of the poppy you can’t really take anything Viserys says as truth. But who knows maybe Alicent saw this as a sign from the Gods that this was her purpose to put her son on the throne and that they were speaking through Viserys.

Viserys’ death scene was so sad, the way he was whispering no more over and over. Like he really was past his time at this point, he had hung on as long as he could but it was still so sad to see him die alone and confused. The way that he reached out his hand and said my love makes me think that he was seeing Aemma at his end or at least thinking of her. I am sad to see Viserys go and I will miss Paddy’s performances, I do think this episode was the perfect send off for the character though.

Dyana (TW: R*pe)

So this was definitely one of the heavier moments of the episode. I said in both ep 6 and 7 that I didn’t like the reaction the maids had when Aegon stared at them and I did suspect this was where it was leading to and unfortunately it was. It was clear from Alicent’s reaction too that this is not the first time this has happened, Alicent even yells at Aegon how can you keep carrying on like this. I think Alicent is genuinely disgusted with her sons behaviour but it doesn’t change the fact that by covering it up, paying off the maids and giving them the tea, she is only enabling Aegon. I don’t think she means to be but she is. I think she genuinely felt bad and had sympathy for Dyana but she also does not want this to get out which is why she makes sure that no one saw them together and then deals with it and brushes it under the rug. On this occasion I do think Aegon deserved that slap, it is also clear that she regrets marrying Aegon and Helaena to each other. I also however think this is going to come back to bite them in the ass. We learn that Talya the other maid who knew about this is working with Mysaria and is clearly taking her information from within the palace. Also Talya was the one who brought the tea. Here’s the thing in ep 4 the maester says that if the tea isn’t brewed correctly than it can be ineffective or can cause side effects. There had to have been a reason why he said this and I think its because Talya has been deliberately not brewing the tea correctly and we are going to end up with a whole load of Aegon’s illegitimate children popping up everywhere. I also think Mysaria will be involved in this somehow given the connection to Talya.

Family Bonds.

On the surface this episode seemed to be about the succession of the Driftwood Throne, but really what it was about was family and family coming together at the bedside of dying loved one. All throughout the episode we get little moments that really highlight that this is a family. So here are so moments that I thought really highlighted this idea of family love.

Daemon doing extreme sports to find dragon eggs to bring back for his children. He was so giddy and happy when he brought those eggs back, it was straight up adorable.

I was fearful when I saw that Baela was at Driftmark in the promo stills that they were going to make her resentful and estranged from her family but thankfully that wasn’t the case at all and I love that she writes to her father and warns them about Vaemond’s intention to bring Luke’s inheritance into question. Without that warning the Greens could have declared that Vaemond heir to Driftmark and the Blacks might not have even found about it until days or weeks later when it would have been too late to do anything about it. Love that Baela was looking out for her family here.

Daemon and Rhaenyra living in marital bliss and being supportive spouses to each other was nice to see even if I am still a little wierded out that he’s her uncle. Him stroking her belly was cute, him taking her hand when she was fidgeting and getting upset to comfort her, the same when he was clearly upset about the condition of his brother and so she wrapped her arm around his in support.

That scene where they introduce Viserys to their sons Aegon and Viserys ii was too adorable. Viserys was clearly delighted that they had named their son after him and I love how Daemon reached out to stroke his son’s hair.

Daemon helping his brother drink the milk of the poppy but also then smelling the cup to make sure that there wasn’t anything malicious in it, he was clearly very concerned and protective of his brother in this episode. It was also kind of heartbreaking how Daemon struggled to look at his brother, it was clear seeing his brother that way pained him.

Jace, Baela, Luke and Rhaena being genuinely happy to be betrothed to each other. Them still six years later supporting and looking out for each other. The way Baela was able to calm Jace by just saying his name and how Rhaena told Luke he would be great as Lord of the Tides.

Alicent comforting her daughter when Daemon killed Vaemond and this clearly greatly upset Helaena alot as she was visibly distressed and covering her ears.

Otto whispering good to Helaena after her toast, most of the time a severely dislike Otto but at least here he was being genuinely sweet to her at least.

Rhaenys comforting and holding Baela’s hand in the throne and also how warmly she greeted Rhaena in the God’s wood, I also appreciated that she remained polite with Rhaenyra until Rhaena was gone to protect Rhaena from any unpleasantness.

There are probably loads more things to talk about in this episode but for now that is everything I have. I do think emotional wise this was the best episode of the season. I can’t wait to see more I feel like things are going to be really tense next episode. It is also ep 9 which in GOT was always an eventful and big episode of each season so I do wonder if HOTD will follow suit.

#hotd #hotd spoilers #house of the dragon #house of the dragon spoilers

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thisisadecisionimayregret · 10 months

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mid-year book podcast freak out 2023

Got tagged by @allcountersarehipheight, which thank you so much for tagging me, I love to be tagged in things lol, but uh

I kinda realized that I haven't read enough books to actually do this lmfao. I did start reading Ancillary Justice this past week, and I read the book How to Keep House While Drowning (definitely recommend), and I've read a decent amount of fanfic.

But (as you know) I've had some Big Life Changes this year. Who knew, looking for apartments, packing, moving across the country, and starting a new job seriously eats up time and makes reading books difficult lol.

So anyway. The only media I've actually really consumed this year are podcasts, cause the move if anything only increased the time available for listening to podcasts. And this looked fun. So I'm gonna just. freak out about podcasts for a minute

Best book podcast you’ve read heard so far this year

The White Vault. Hooooly shit y'all. This show. I'm feeling so insane about it rn, and I am really looking forward to their next season whenever it releases and listening to their patreon-only miniseries in this world. I am just in awe of their entire production, the writing, the creeping dread and terror (my roommate laughed at me for my reactions), the fucking sound design!!!! lemme say, having Done sound design work myself, shit is hard and they really made this show next level real. And god it is impossible not to fall in love with the characters and sucked into the plot. If you hear it, it hears you too....

Best sequel you’ve read heard so far this year

The PALISADE season of Friends at the Table!! Another installment in their Divine Cycle stories and it continues to be my favorite podcast on the planet. It makes me feel so much I have trouble putting any of it into words. I can only scream incoherently and reblog the gorgeous wonderful fanart for this show. Everyone needs to listen to fatt right now immediately. This is not news to anyone who follows me lmfao

New release you haven’t read heard yet

The new season of Life with LEO(h)! I loved the first season, and I am really excited to listen to the second one that's releasing now. I haven't quite gotten around to it though, it's one of the shows where having both earbuds in helps me keep track of everything, and since I'm usually listening to stuff at work where I can't have both earbuds in, it's just been. Sitting in my playlist, waiting to be played.

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year

Within the Wires season 8, definitely. I've been listening to the show since the first episode released in 2016 and it has remained one of my all time favorite podcasts for that entire time. I have no idea what the next season's focus will be, it's always something different, and it always always wrecks me, and it is always rearranges my brain. October can't come soon enough.

Biggest disappointment

The Two Princes. I had listened to the first season whenever that came out, but didn't follow it when it went exclusive on spotify, cause fuck spotify, but this year they quietly gave up on making it spotify exclusive. And maybe the fact I had enjoyed but felt pretty meh about season one should've been a hint for my reaction, but hey, they autodownloaded, so I decided to listen to seasons 2 and 3. And y'know. It was fine. It just wasn't particularly good. Idk, maybe I'm not the target audience for that show.

Biggest surprise

Lost Hills: The Dark Prince. It's a surprise cause it's not something I would've sought or picked out to listen to on my own. But you know the thing some shows do, where they go "hey, we're promoting another podcast, so we're dropping their first episode in our feed, enjoy" and you just go along with it instead of skipping, and afterwards you go "hm well I haven't cared about malibu or surfing At All my whole life, but now i just Gotta know the fucked up history of this One Dickhead who had a huge influence on the surfing culture that extends into the present day." Well. Here we are.

Favorite new author (debut or new to you)

Fool & Scholar Productions! Not debut, but new to me. They're the team responsible for The White Vault (among other shows I am looking forward to listening to). Seriously, their writing and their audio production are so so so excellent and I really admire their dedication to Getting things Right, particularly in regards to how they write international characters and go to great lengths to cast people from those cultures and who speak those languages to act. And although I haven't had a chance to listen to their TWV patreon-miniseries Imperial, the whole thing about using an endangered language in it and working with speakers and scholars of that language to get things right is just. Wow. It's incredible and I am (again) so excited to listen to it and their other shows, this team really just makes the language nerd and audio nerd in me vibrate

Newest fictional crush/newest favorite character

This was so difficult but I gotta say, Vivian Exler from the Upstairs and Downstairs game of fatt Road to Palisade. Gardner/groundskeeper who gets the revolutionary zines and is constantly bickering with the mechanic. I am predictable and quickly become a fan of any Jack de Quidt character and Vivian was no exception.

Book Podcast that made you cry

Yet another win for The White Vault here. It made me cry multiple times, for sad reasons, and I mean this another glowing recommendation for this show. Love to be made to feel emotions

Book Podcast that made you happy

Ologies with Alie Ward!! Literally this podcast is just a constant source of joy and makes me so happy to be on this planet. Every single ologist Alie interviews is so genuinely excited about their subject and it is endlessly fascinating to learn more about the world around us. There's episodes that definitely can be bummers, but even the bummer episodes ultimately instill in me optimism and hope and appreciation. And also I get to leave every episode with a handful of fun facts I can bring out at parties when I'm anxious.

Alright, there we are! I'm gonna tag @housetalis (eternal thanks for introducing me to TWV) and @grand-magnificent. Feel free to do the original book freakout or do a podcast freakout or to not do it at all — no pressure either way!

#samantha talks #podcasts #podcast recommendations #i won't spam any of the tags for the shows by actually tagging them here lmao

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dans-den · 1 year

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The Mandalorian Season 3 Review

Hey what's going on everyone? Dan here and today I'll be reviewing The Mandalorian season 3 on this May the 4th be with you day!

Even though the season has ended weeks ago, I'll give spoiler warnings for those who do not have Disney Plus because these streaming services add up.

Now I love The Mandalorian, I've watched all three seasons and Star Wars content is the only reason I wanted Disney Plus in the first place. The Mandalorian is indeed Disney Plus's number 1 show and there is a reason for it. I enjoy the series greatly and in my opinion, season 2 is the best of the three. Season 3 I'd say is on par with season 1, it's rough in some areas, but overall still enjoyable story and entertaining to watch. I'll be going through what I liked and what I dislike about season 3.

One major complaint that I and several others have is that they intertwined the Mandalorian with the Book of Boba Fett show. They're doing what Marvel is known for and connecting everything in a universe but the issue here is that Book of Boba Fett happens between season 2 and 3, meaning that if you're new and trying to watch The Mandalorian then you're gonna be confused about what happened between seasons 2 and 3. A newcomer wouldn't know to go to Book of Boba Fett for context so it loses points off the bat just for doing that. Book of Boba Fett was decent imo, but everyone else doesn't find it entertaining and find it redeemable because of Mando so a newcomer would likely stay away from that show. It's not good when you have to intertwine two shows to get the full context of one or the other, it's inconvenient and just unnecessary to me unless it's meant to lead to a universe which if they plan to cool, if not, unnecessary.

Now with the Book of Boba Fett stuff aside, I do enjoy the continued story of Din Djarin and Grogu on their adventures, this time around we actually get to see them amongst the Mandalorian tribes and culture. I love the lore of Mandalorians and this is a great addition to the series and the lore. I especially like Bo Katan, I think of all her varients, this version of her is by far my favorite only matched by her Clone Wars version. Din Djarin played by Pedro Pascal is great and his character continues to get fleshed out with each season. Grogu, I can't say much because it's puppetry and effects and it's done well enough, it's adorable as well. I also like how we get the return of Moff Gideon as the Antagonist, is he finally gone? we'll see.

Now the episodes this season were a mixed bag. Don't get me wrong, most of Season 3 episodes are fun and action packed, but I'd say there were two episodes in the entire season that were just filler for the most part. Episode 3 was kinda boring to follow because it was literal filler about reformed villains because it barely served any connection to the plot. Episode 6 filler was Mando and Bo on a wild goose chase of a mystery finding defective droids for Lizzo and Jack Black (I love Jack Black but this is definitely one of his weaker roles) and the villain turned out to be Christopher Lloyd and makes it like we care but it felt so rushed and phoned in. These two episodes are definitely lackluster compared to the rest but at least the other episodes make up for these two so I won't hold it too hard against season 3.

I loved the last two episodes where the Mandalorians all band together to take back Mandalore from Moff Gideon and his Beskar Stormtroopers. It did Kill off one of the Mandalorian characters we came to know and respect but at least he went out in true Mandalorian fashion fighting till the end. Gideon got wrecked the third time around and Mandalore was taken back and Mando himself has settled on his land with Grogu as his new adopted son/apprentice where they're gonna go on many more adventures together. This makes me excited for a Season 4 and hopefully we will get a season 4. Though if we do get one, maybe if should be the last one but also the best one yet. Though this is Disney, so it is possible they will try to milk the Mandalorian until its dry but maybe I'm wrong there, who knows?

Overall, season 3 was pretty good and while I still think season 2 was better, season 3 still added to the lore and world of the Mandalorian culture. I would like a season 4 but we will see what happens in the not so distant future. Jon Favreau, you busted out another banger of a season here!

rating this season I'm giving it:

8/10

While I don't think it's the best season, I still think it's great and adds plenty to the story of Din Djarin. I would recommend this season just as much as 1 and 2 and you'll definitely need to watch the last few episodes of Book of Boba Fett to figure out what happens between seasons 2 and 3. Here's to hoping for a season 4 and make it the best and last one.

May the Fourth be with you all

See ya!

#dans den #tv show review #the mandalorian #may the fourth be with you #din djarin #bo katan kryze #moff gideon #star wars #season 3 #disney plus #din grogu #jon favreau

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lovecolibri · 1 year

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I posted 24,805 times in 2022

That's 4,296 more posts than 2021!

1,802 posts created (7%)

23,003 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@outrunningthedark

@chamblerstara

@tasyfa

@loveyourownsmiilee

@winged-fool

I tagged 14,249 of my posts in 2022

Only 43% of my posts had no tags

#0 - 9,327 posts

#911 spoilers - 5,169 posts

#buddie - 3,004 posts

#eddie diaz - 2,310 posts

#evan buckley - 2,285 posts

#roswell nm - 2,200 posts

#roswell spoilers - 1,701 posts

#911 lone star - 1,476 posts

#lone star spoilers - 1,276 posts

#cackling - 1,238 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but you can't tell me that man who grew up feeling unloved and unwanted would ever side with the woman who made chris feel that way 🤷🏻‍♀️

My Top Posts in 2022:

Watching the new WWDITS episode like

144 notes - Posted August 3, 2022

I gotta say I'm surprised (though I probably shouldn't be 🙄) at some of the backlash I've seen towards Grace for being upset.

Like, she very clearly says she knows it's not fair to any of them and she knows she shouldn't be upset because her and Judd weren't together then, but she communicates that she IS upset. Which is totally valid because everything they BOTH knew about their lives just got upended.

And she was so cordial to Wyatt, and left before causing a scene or lashing out at Judd at his place of work and after she has some time to process, she makes an effort to do what she thinks is right.

And for Judd's part, he didn't sit on the info for a month until he had a confirmed paternity test and THEN bring it up to Grace, he was upfront with her (mostly) from the start. And when she says she's angry, he validates her feelings and lets her know it's okay to be upset, and he gives her some space when she needs it. And when she chooses to invite the other lady over so they can talk, he is supportive and reaffirms how much he loves her.

Like, I'm not thrilled that this is the storyline they're doing, especially without a single week for them to enjoy being new parents, but neither Wyatt nor his mom came in with the intention to wreck a family, Judd and Grace both handled the situation incredibly well and communicated in a mostly healthy way, and I'm definitely not hating this as much as I could if it wasn't written as well as it has been so far.

It's okay to feel your feelings even if they aren't always rational, and Grace communicated so well that she knew it wasn't entirely rational but she was upset and Judd allowed her the space to be angry and work through those feelings instead of her suppressing them and exploding later.

Judd and Grace have one of the most solid relationships I've ever been blessed to see on TV and I find it interesting how 911 and Lone Star like to throw out these really big, dramatic, soapy storylines that are so common in dramatic show, but have the characters respond in very normal, human ways and have a less dramatic but more realistic and enjoyable resolution. Instead of huge cheating storylines where it's harder to root for the characters coming back together, you get things like this with Grace and Judd, or Bobby and Athena where she doesn't even consider that he's cheating but knows he's hiding something and digs until she finds out he's sponsoring someone and it leads to a discussion about their marriage and their future and they work it out. And same with the TK/Carlos breakup. These moments where there is no bad guy, just humans trying their best and not always doing the right thing but trying to be better is something 911-verse does so well and what really sets it apart from other shows. And I'll take that ANY day over every character playing musical beds, and being killed off half the time so you can't get invested in any character or relationship.

148 notes - Posted February 8, 2022

Henren being happy and in love while everyone else is falling apart

159 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

The Twins : *deliver a rancor for Boba's palace*

Boba: "Who's a good boy?!"

187 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

"It's not the Buddie show" okay its not the Madney show either but it's still fucking disappointing that we haven't gotten to see their things happen on screen either. People aren't upset because every single episode doesn't fully revolve around Buddie to the exclusion of everything else, they're upset because SEVERAL well-established dynamics have been almost entirely cut and replaced with dynamics that aren't given us any weight or character information/growth/pushing arcs along etc.

272 notes - Posted November 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #thanks @caitlesshea for reminding me i was going to do this #you and @michael-runs-hot-guerin are first in my messages and my heart 💙#also i learned how to fast reblog and never went back #i tag 911 and rnm but everything else is hit or miss if i have the energy to type tags 🤣

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ocean-anchored · 3 months

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Dear future self... February 18, 2024

Ok so much has happened this week, it was like saturday & I was wondering if I had missed writing last week because I felt like this week has been so long & so packed. So I wrote on Monday about the weekend & stuff with Shane. We've taken a break this week & haven't talked, which has been a bit different but I think it's needed. Monday I met a new dog walker which turned out good I think. I miss her already, it's not even been 24 hours. Tuesday night I went to Native Tongues finally with Brad, a guy I've been talking to. We had some nice conversation & he's a chef so we went for mexican. He looked like his photos but I think he was very off with his height ahah, seriously how do men not know they can't just add an inch or two! But it was a long night, I think almost 4 hours which was a bit surprising. I wouldn't say there was any awkward moments, but I think there was times that I wasn't sure what else to talk about but then we were ok again. Idk, I think I wanted there to be more, but I think It was good for him, not that it wasn't for me but it just didn't hit home like other dates I've had. He did ask me out again which was sweet. Wednesday was Valentines day, I spent the night with myself, gamed a bit & it was nice. It was a good evening. I had asked Corey if he wanted to come to the game with my friends which at first he said he couldn't commit but then he called an hour later saying yes, screw work which was great. Thursday after work I took nova to the park & then picked up Corey to come back to my place for Amber & Naythan to pick us up. The game really was a great night. I wasn't sure how Corey would be with them, including Kamber & Tyson, but he did way better than I thought. He sat beside me most of the game & we had a lot of laughs, but then half way I didn't notice he came back up from the bathroom & he ended up sitting with the boys for the last part of the game which was no nice to see. Really it was a great night. Corey stayed over a for a bit after, we watched wreck it ralph & cuddled. It was nice, it was a good night. Friday we didn't go for lunch so I got to put together some treats for Galentines. Went to Sashas with Shruti & Cassie & that was a great night. We watched Love is blind & laughed a lot, it's fun to watch the toxicity & feel glad I don't have that in my life haha. Saturday Corey & I had had plans to get brunch but I wasn't sure it was still happening & I didnt hear from him till just before 11am. But he turned out he wanted to do brunch so we ended up at Trolley 5. We went back to his place after & played a fun japanese card game & then watched a few episodes of Arcane. Cuddled a bit which was nice, I stayed too late but that's ok. I Felt maybe he was a bit off, I wasn't sure, hard to tell.

#personal #dear future self #life update #dearfutureself

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writteninthegarden · 2 years

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That’s the thing about secret girlfriends...

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

18+ Minors DNI

A/N: Timeline is shortly before Season 4x26. YUP. When I watched this episode I loved how the team had Hotch’s back, but my imagination couldn’t help wondering what it would be like if Hotch had been secretly dating someone when this all happened. Then of course 100 absolutely wrecked me, so this dream world helped a little.

Summary: Reader is a 36 year old Special Agent in White Collar Crime. She and Hotch have been dating for about 5-6 months. Due to custody schedule changes, reader has met and adores Jack. Reader’s very brief encounters with Haley have been luke warm.

Word Count: 5,323

Warnings: References that Foyet stabbed Hotch, but no descriptions of the attack or wounds, SFW

You had a few extra days before the BAU was called away again. It felt oddly normal to be able to drive into the office together. You’d have your goodbye kiss in the car and then walk in together, eventually parting ways when the elevator reached your floor. You figured Aaron didn’t want to risk his coworkers or his boss, the section chief, catching any PDA. Truthfully you didn’t mind that since you were new at White Collar and also should avoid becoming fuel for the infamous rumor mill. Yes, even at the FBI people gossiped…sometimes more than happened elsewhere.

“Have a good day, Agent Hotchner” was the line you had practiced aloud by yourself to make sure you could keep a poker face and not sound like a giggly 16 year old girl when you left the elevator.

You hadn’t been bold enough to venture up to his office for lunch, but dinner was a frequent occurrence since the office was mostly cleared out by that time. Usually you would be the one to finish up work first, text him what and where you planned on ordering, and then bring it up to his office. The unspoken deal was he had to stop working by that time. Sometimes he needed an extra 5-10 minutes to wrap up the report he was on. Anything longer than that and you’d become accustomed to walking up behind him to start massaging his shoulders and kissing from his jawline downward. The subtle threat of it escalating to inappropriate work behavior was usually enough to get him away from his desk…and set you up for the sexy continuation once you got back to your place. The only downside was you’d accidentally sometimes see really scary crime scene photos when you first made your way up behind him.

That next morning Aaron had let you know that they had a new case and you’d have to drive in separately. You gathered poor JJ, their press/community liaison, often got urgent requests for the team to consult at all hours of the day and night. If Aaron knew by 6am that they’d been called in you could only imagine how early JJ was up coordinating.

“Should I guess which state you’re off to this time, handsome?”

“It’s actually Canada this time.”

“Canada? Is that typical for the RCMP to call the FBI?”

“Nothing seems typical about this case and we’re going to offer our help in advance. Hopefully they accept or it will be a very short trip.”

“I wouldn’t hate that, just saying.”

He laughed at that. “I’m sure.”

The team was away for about a week and a half and from the minimal details Aaron shared it sounded like a grueling case. He didn’t tell you much at all about the cases they worked. You figured that was mainly due to the need to keep information confidential, but guessed there was also a part of him that wanted to protect the people around him from knowing the scary truth. The most he mentioned with this one was that there was a missing teenage girl and a climbing total of victims they suspected this unsub had killed.

You wished you could see him the night he came back, but it sounded like this was one of those cases that he needed a night to decompress before jumping back into regular life. You two had talked the night before the team flew home and you were glad Aaron started making a point to text you once they were on the jet and again when they landed.

Aaron: Just landed. If you’re still up in an hour I can call you once I’m home. I miss you.

You: I suppose I can stay up for you. I’ve missed you quite a bit too 😊 Can it be tomorrow so I can see you already?

Aaron: Haha, it will be soon, babe. I just need to clear my head after this one. It was heavy.

You: I’m sorry. If you ever need to talk I’m here. I know I won’t ever understand the extent of what you guys see each day, but I can listen, hold you, and kiss you.

Aaron: Is that part of your white collar crime training to get people to talk?

You: Who am I to argue with the training manual? I’ll let you focus on wrapping up and patiently await your call.

Aaron: Thanks, babe. I’ll talk to you soon.

Only the strange thing was he never called you that night. You didn’t want to seem extra clingy or needy if he possibly got held up doing after action reports or fell asleep as soon as he got home. That wasn’t normal for Aaron, but he did say this case weighed heavily on the whole team.

The next morning you got up and drove yourself to work, hoping to yourself that you didn’t have to go home alone that night. For all you knew they could’ve caught another case and been trying to pull off back to back.

By lunch time you still had not heard from him and decided to call him. It went to voicemail so that did you no good. Maybe they had to go somewhere without cell service like up in the mountains for this next case. You tried to stop speculating and set it aside for now, but it kept creeping in your mind. Was this weird or were you still capable of being boy crazy at 36 years of age?

The day dragged on and by the time you were ready to go home you were starting to feel annoyed. Could he be pulling away to try and distance himself after you offered to listen if he ever wanted to talk? That would be a pretty shitty thing to do. If he needed more time to decompress after a case that would be understandable. You just wish he told you so you didn’t jump to what you tended to do best, internalizing it.

You made dinner at home that night and decided to text him a picture of the finished product jokingly saying, “I tried a more involved recipe and it was still edible. Progress, right?”

You figured that was lighthearted enough and would dispel any thought you were mad at him if that was even a concern for him.

Still radio silence. This felt weird and you still couldn’t tell if something was up or you had just grown to care for him and about him this much.

You went into work the next morning early so you could make a detour you’re not proud to admit. You drove by his place and started swearing in your car when you saw his car parked outside. He was home. You couldn’t believe it. You had half the mind to go back there and lay into him for ghosting you, but you thought better of it. His neighbors didn’t need that amount of colorful language so early in the morning and god forbid he had Jack over and you came up swearing like a sailor.

Although you were pissed, you were glad you had some confirmation. You’d leave him alone and just see how long it would take him to contact you…if he did. God, that thought sucked.

You rode the elevator up to your floor with a crowd of people. Great, just add that to how your day was going. At one point, an agent in a suit standing in front of you decided to strike up a full conversation with another agent next to him. That couldn’t wait until you weren’t crammed into the elevator? Ugh, people were terrible sometimes. You didn’t want to hear their conversation, but the close proximity didn’t leave you any options.

“Hey, Steve. Have you read the local paper today? They were saying some agent was attacked by a suspect who had it out for him.”

“Jesus Christ. That’s awful. It’s stories like that one that make me glad I’m on desk duty. Did they say who it was?”

“No, but I’m sure they’ll update it once they get a name. I know there are risks we sign on for, but this poor bastard was stabbed repeatedly they’re saying.”

Just then an older woman towards the back of the elevator interjected. “Gentlemen, I’m sure you remember the annual training and attestations we all sign in regards to confidentiality. That’s enough of this gossip.”

“Of course, Chief Strauss. Our apologies. It won’t happen again.”

Strauss? That name was familiar and typically had a negative connotation when you’d heard it mentioned. You were fairly certain she was Aaron’s superior and became more certain when you saw her excuse herself to exit the elevator on the 6th floor. You had missed your floor and suddenly the need to get out of that crowded elevator became urgent for you. You slipped out just as the doors were getting ready to close and ducked into the stairwell.

You were freaking out trying to process everything you just heard and seeing Strauss headed towards the BAU didn’t do anything to calm the sickening feeling that had come over you. So many emotions washed over you at once. You wanted to scream. You wanted to curl up in a ball and retreat inward. Your heart was pounding. Could everyone hear how loud it was? Suddenly it didn’t feel like there was enough air around you to breathe. You were about to have an anxiety attack in the god damn stairwell at Quantico.

But Aaron was at home this morning. You saw his car. Maybe Strauss being here was a freak coincidence. She was right to shut up those gossiping hens regardless of if she knew the injured agent or not. A lot of agents must’ve had disgruntled suspects they’d either liked for a crime or had put away. That was how the “good guy bad guy” dynamic worked.

Each statement you tried to reassure yourself with was countered with a what if that popped into your head.

Okay, you had to try and talk yourself down from this so you could at least make it to your desk or an empty conference room. Breathe. You’re okay. You’re okay. That was the reminder you repeated in your head and aloud a few times to try and calm yourself. It was ironic that was the statement that seemed to help you because most people hate being told it’ll be okay, you’re fine, etc when experiencing acute anxiety like this.

Your heart was still beating out of your chest, but you focused on your breathing for now. It was probably all you could do to manage. Okay, what did you know for sure? Not much aside from that the BAU had safely landed in Virginia last night.

God, you were tempted to run through the sixth floor bull pen in hopes you would see that handsome bastard sitting in his office at the end of the floor and you could tell him he had a lot of explaining to do. You knew though that you couldn’t run aimlessly through anywhere here nevermind screaming a demand to know who was stabbed. That would only land you a mandatory psychiatric hold for the next 72 hours or more.

Who could you ask that would know where Aaron was or even just assure you that Aaron was okay. You hadn’t been introduced to his team yet, so that was a no.

Strauss? Well, you’d rather go with your prior idea of running screaming through the floor than approach her about anything.

Haley? Good lord, no. Why did your options only seem to be getting worse?

You hadn’t even been with your team long enough to establish the level of trust where you could even feel okay mentioning any of this.

Shit. If only you’d met his team. Wait! The agent from the coffee station that one time. What was his name? You’d later learned that he was a bit of a legend with the Bureau and a bestselling author.

David Rossi! Holy shit, he might be your best and only option here.

As much as you wanted to sprint right back on the 6th floor you knew you needed to somehow compose yourself. With shaky legs you walked down the flight of stairs to your floor and dropped your sweater and bag off at your work station. You went into the ladies room so you could lock yourself in a stall and give yourself about 90 seconds to have a silent freak out. It was risky to unleash all of that pent up anxiety and emotions, but perhaps riskier to not release some of that before trying to find Agent Rossi. You knew yourself well enough to know you could start talking and be unable to stop the flood gate of emotion. That could still happen for all you knew.

You exited the bathroom and practiced calmly walking back out to the elevator lobby. When you trusted yourself with that much you entered the stairwell and forced yourself to slowly climb each stair even though internally you wanted to take them three at a time to get up there faster.

As you entered the BAU suite on the 6th floor you momentarily froze to scan the offices along the perimeter. You’d been here numerous times, but were guilty of having tunnel vision as you made your way to Aaron’s office. So you tried to quickly and calmly reorient yourself. The bullpen was quieter and less populated than you expected for this time of day A young woman with straight blonde hair passed you as she tucked folders into her briefcase.

“Can I help you find your way?”

Girl, you have no idea, you thought. “Yes, actually. I’m trying to find Agent Rossi’s office. I know he’s on this floor, but just can’t remember where.”

“Oh, is he expecting you? We’re on our way out for a meeting.”

“No, I’m sorry I don’t have an appointment, but it’s a bit of an urgent matter.” You paused to take a breath. “I’m sorry to sound so frazzled. I’m Agent Y/L/N and I work downstairs in white collar. I have a personal matter I’m hoping I can briefly talk to Agent Rossi about.”

“Okay, I’ll just let him know. Give me just a moment.”

“Of course, thank you.”

Off in the distance, the blonde agent, JJ, knocked on the frame of Agent Rossi’s door.

“JJ, sorry. I’ll be ready in 2 minutes and we’ll run out of here.”

“No problem, Rossi. I’m here because there’s an agent from white collar crime who urgently would like to speak to you.”

“Oh, really? White collar? Did he say what he needs?”

“No, she did not say other than that it is a personal matter.”

“Huh. Make that 5 minutes then, JJ. I’ll see if I can help her.”

“Okay, Rossi…” JJ raised her eyebrows at the known “ladies man”.

“Hey, I saw that” Dave said with a smirk.

You spotted Agent Rossi leaving his office and did your very best to keep your cool and not run towards him. As he approached you, you launched into what you had just rapidly rehearsed in your head.

“Agent Rossi, hi I’m so sorry to interrupt you and I understand you have another commitment, so I promise not to keep you. My name is Agent Y/F/N Y/L/N. Could we possibly speak somewhere private?”

“Yes, of course. Please come into my office, Agent.”

As Rossi closed the door and motioned for you to take a seat he looked at you like he was trying to place you. “I’m sorry, but have we met Agent Y/L/N? You look familiar, but we don’t tend to collaborate with white collar on cases so I apologize I’m drawing a blank.”

“Yes, sir. We met briefly a few months ago at the little coffee station a few floors down. I was talking to Aaron…I’m sorry. Agent Hotchner. You see sir I’m a…friend of Agent Hotchner’s.”

“That’s right. I knew I recognized you from somewhere.” Briefly, a pained look crossed his face. It was gone in a flash though and he asked, “so how can I help you?”

“Well, sir, Aaron was supposed to call me the other night once he got home, but he never did. We texted a little when you all landed, but I haven’t heard from him since. To be transparent Agent Rossi I’m concerned something is wrong. I know he’s a private person, but this isn’t like him to just go radio silent on me. Again, in the interest of total transparency, I should probably clarify that Agent Hotchner and I are dating. I’m not sure if he had shared that with you yet, but I’ll gladly deal with him grumbling about that later if it means you can help me be sure he’s okay.”

“He hadn’t come out and said it, but when you’ve known Aaron as long as I have you can spot the slight changes in his demeanor. He thinks he masks it, so I let him believe that.”

“Also, I understand how odd this must sound coming out of the blue. I wish I had something more tangible to offer as proof that I’m not just some lunatic. I’ve met Jack a few times and Haley briefly…though off the record I doubt she’d offer me a character witness.”

“Y/N, relax. I believe you. I’m glad you came to find me. Listen, what I’m about to tell you is not to be shared with anyone. It’s an ongoing investigation, but as someone close to Aaron I want you to be aware. I’m sorry to have to say there was an incident 2 nights ago. Aaron was attacked in his home and critically injured.”

You tried to exhale a breath that became a shudder. Agent Rossi placed his hand over yours which were folded together, each of your hands holding on to the other for dear life.

“He survived, Agent. He was brought to the hospital just in time. He was unconscious for a bit there, so we weren’t informed right away, but my colleague just said he’s awake. That’s actually where Agent Jareau and I were heading when you came in just now.”

You heard every word he said, but it was as if your mind would not accept the transmission of what your ears heard. You were so scared, but also relieved. You were sad, but happy that he was pulling through. The shock most of all washed over every emotion and left you feeling stunned. You realized Agent Rossi was asking you something.

“Dear, we’re going over to the hospital to see him. Would you like to come with us? I can also give you the information if you’d prefer.”

Just then Agent Jareau knocked on Rossi’s door. “Rossi. I’m so sorry to interrupt. I can’t make our meeting. Morgan asked me to run some files over to him. I’ll check-in later.”

Agent Rossi contemplated this. Maybe like you he wondered why they hadn’t thought of emailing materials. What files could be more important than going to see Aaron? You realized you didn’t need to trouble yourself with such things.

“I’m sorry, Agents. I’ve delayed you long enough already. I should go.”

“No problem, Agent. Sorry, it’s a busy week here. Let me give you my card in case you need anything.”

“Thank you. Again, I so greatly appreciate your help. Take care.”

On your jello legs you stood up and walked out of Rossi’s office. You bolted downstairs long enough to grab your bag for your keys and dashed out to the garage. You’d email your training agent from your car to say you needed to take an unscheduled day off. You didn’t care that it would be a ding on your record during your probationary period.

As soon as you got settled in your car and turned the key in the ignition you realized you never got the hospital name or address from Rossi. You smacked your steering wheel and gripped your head in your hands. “Why is this happening?” You shouted.

You reached into your bag for the business card he gave you to call him. As you pulled it out you noticed writing on the back.

Agent Rossi had written the hospital name and what looked like the building Aaron was admitted to on the back of the card. Oh, thank God! You weren’t overly religious, but needed something to believe in during this time.

You flew to the hospital as fast as mid-morning city traffic would allow. You pulled into the first garage entrance you came across, figuring you just needed to dump your car somewhere and would walk the whole damn hospital if that’s what you had to do.

When you reached Aaron’s floor you nearly collided into the receptionist desk. On your way up to the floor you thought about how you wanted to approach this if they said visitors were restricted to only immediate family. Flashing your credentials to strong arm your way in was too ballsy, especially when for all you know his whole team could be there to say, no we don’t know who this is. You did however keep your FBI photo ID card prominently visible on the side of your shirt.

You waited until the receptionist looked up from the chart she was organizing to begin talking.

“Hi, excuse me I’m sorry to bother you. Could you please direct me to Agent Aaron Hotchner’s room?”

You threw the agent part in there in hopes she’d see your badge and assume you belonged.

Someone certainly noticed your presence. After you asked for Aaron’s room you heard a woman’s voice say, “Well, that’s just great. Unbelievable!” in a most displeased tone.

The receptionist gave you an “I think she’s talking to you, not me” look. You turned just in time to see it was possibly Haley. Her hair was different than when you last saw her and you only saw her from behind. If she didn’t have Jack in tow she wouldn’t have come to mind.

Weird. If that woman wanted to talk about things that were unbelievable you could give her some of your own thoughts for sure, but this was not the time.

You turned back to the receptionist with your own, “I have no clue what that was about” shrug.

She smiled back at you and said, “let me just check with his nurse. One moment.”

She quickly came back and said, “he’s awake you can go see him. Room 112.”

“Thank you so much!” you said as you swiftly went on your way before anyone could change their mind.

As you made your way around the first corner you saw Agent Rossi just hanging up a phone call.

“Hi Agent Rossi” you said with a sigh of relief like you two were confidants now.

“Y/N, oh good I’m glad you found it okay. Also, please call me Dave.”

“Thanks to you giving me the address. That was such a relief to find. I was so shocked when I left that I didn’t realize I hadn’t asked you for the details.”

“Of course. I could tell.”

“Dave, before I go in there…I know there is a lot you can’t tell me. I respect that and will try to not even ask questions that I know you can’t disclose….but is there anything else you can tell me about the extent of his injuries? If it’s bad I want to brace myself so I don’t react.”

“I completely understand. Here let’s step into the family waiting room. We’ve kind of unofficially claimed it as our own. Please, have a seat.”

You trusted that you didn’t want to be standing to hear whatever he would say, so you plopped your butt down in the first chair you saw.

“An unsub that Aaron has history with broke into his house and waited for him to come home. He fired a gun into a wall to try and scare him. Then he stabbed him 9 times, purposefully missing any major organs to torture him longer. Thankfully Aaron passed out shortly after that and this unsub lost interest in continuing further. He actually dropped him off at the hospital, pretending to be a good Samaritan and then fled. We don’t know the full extent of it yet, but Aaron likely has a great deal of internal damage from the stab wounds. He’ll have dressings and bandages on the areas he was stabbed and he’s also a little banged up from some defensive wounds. He’ll have a rough recovery ahead of him, but he made it thank God.”

You had so many questions and reactions. You couldn’t even process how scary and painful that long ordeal had to be for him. This unsub sounded like a psycho. One main question kept coming back to mind that you had to ask.

With tears welling up in your eyes you asked, “Dave, have you caught the bastard that did this?”

He sighed, deeply. “No, but we will.”

“Why would someone torture a person that much and then drop them off at the hospital? I’m happy he did of course, but I just don’t understand.”

Another sigh. “I can’t really get into all that.”

“Of course. God, I’m still just so relieved he didn’t…that he’s…”

“I know. We all are. Do you think you’re ready to see him? I can pull our agents out to give you the room.”

“Yes, thank you.”

Your heart was beating fast again as you approached his room. There was one other agent in there with Aaron, a dark haired woman Rossi called Prentiss. As promised, Rossi politely signaled to her to meet him in the hall.

You knocked on the open door and tried not to cry when you saw him look up at you.

“Can I come in”? you asked sheepishly.

“Y/N, yes of course” he said in a slightly groggy voice.

You hurried up to the side of his bed. “Aaron. Oh, thank god!”

You were scared to touch him. One of his arms was in a sling and he had some scratches on his face. You settled on gently touching the side of his face and placing a gentle kiss on the top of his head.

“Baby, you are a sight for sore eyes” you whispered into his hair.

“No, I’m just a sight.”

“Stop it. I hope it’s okay that I came. I had to see for myself that you were okay and hear your voice again. If this is weird since your whole team is here just say so and I can go. I could even say, ooops, wrong room on my way out if that makes you feel less exposed. I’m guessing they didn’t know about us yet.”

“They don’t, but that’s okay. There’s really no privacy in a hospital gown, so it’s impossible to feel less exposed with my ass hanging out.”

You scrunched up your nose. “At least it’s a nice ass though.”

“Now you’re the one who needs to stop it. Grab one of those chairs and stick your ass in it.”

You pulled a chair up to the side of his bed and held his hand that didn’t have an IV in it.

“Has Jack been able to visit?”

“Yes, earlier.” He looked pained and sad at that, which didn’t make sense. You didn’t want to press him for more.

You brought your head down to kiss the hand you were holding. “Aaron, I was so scared.”

“I’m sorry. I’m going to be okay, babe.”

“Don’t you be sorry. That’s the thing about secret girlfriends. There’s no line for those on emergency contact forms.”

The smallest crack of a smile appeared on his face.

“What?”

“Just hearing you say girlfriend. That’s all.”

“Speaking of which…Rossi now knows. It’s a long story, but he was the only person I could think of that might believe I wasn’t just some crazy woman looking for you. Though I realize now that description would be accurate…”

“That’s okay, babe.” He interlaced his fingers with yours. “I wasn’t trying to keep it from them forever. I’m sure they’ll be thrilled and want to know ALL about you.”

“Does that mean I’m going to be profiled?”

“Several times.”

“Can’t you give me some pointers on how to ace it?”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

Just then there was a knock at the door. You whipped around to see a blonde woman with glasses and eccentric accessories standing in the doorway. You couldn’t help but smile at the fact that Aaron didn’t let go of your hand.

“My liege! Oh, my god! I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see you give me that furrowed brow expression of yours. I’m sorry did I interrupt?”

“That’s okay, Garcia. Why don’t you grab Prentiss and Rossi for a second? There’s someone I’d like you all to meet.”

Your heart fluttered at that. You squeezed Aaron’s hand and he squeezed yours back.

“You ready for this?”

“Definitely, baby. Oh, don’t worry I won’t embarrass you with pet names.”

The three agents entered the room and tried not to stare at you.

Aaron started to speak. “So, the circumstances aren’t ideal, but I want to introduce you all to my girlfriend. This is Y/N Y/L/N. She’s a Special Agent in white collar crimes. Y/N, this is Penelope Garcia our technical analyst, Special Agent Emily Prentis and I believe you’ve met Rossi.”

You spoke first to try and calm the nerves you were feeling. “It’s nice to meet you all. Admittedly this wasn’t the setting I pictured this happening of course.”

All three agents shook your hand and returned your sentiment. Penelope spoke first. “Hotch has a girlfriend! Sorry, I think I’m just shocked in the best way imaginable.”

“Y/N” Rossi started. “I hate to interrupt, but I need to have Aaron sign some paperwork for his medical leave.”

“We could go grab a cup of coffee if you’d like, Y/N.” Emily offered.

Garcia replied for you and said, “Yes! I’m coming too!”

“Can we get you guys anything?” You asked the men.

“No, thanks. I think I still have to prove I can eat jello before they’ll let me have anything real.” Aaron said.

You were off.

Meanwhile, back in Aaron’s room…

“She seems like a lovely woman, Aaron. I’m happy for you. I could tell from the look in her eyes earlier how much she cares about you and how scared she was.”

“She’s great. Now just hope I haven’t dragged her into all this crazy shit.”

Dave gave Aaron a pointed look.

“What, Dave?”

“We didn’t know about her when we did the threat assessment, Aaron.”

“I know.”

“I’ve confirmed Haley and Jack are safe with the Marshalls in protective custody. I know you called in a favor to make that happen. You don’t have that option for Y/N since she’s not immediate family or a spouse.”

“I know. I’ve been trying to think of something, but don’t want to make her worry until I figure it out.”

“If we submit an official request they’ll immediately reassign her, likely far away.”

“I can’t make that decision for her. She’s worked hard to get to where she is only to be shipped off again.”

“That’s fair. Listen, I do have a contact…”

“Do I want to know about this?”

“All I’ll tell you is my contact can temporarily reassign agents if the right person asks to get them out of dodge.”

“How do they manage to get that approved so fast?”

“Oh, they manage.”

“Hold off on that for now, but the moment we know he’s back…get her out”

“Of course.”

#criminal minds #aaron hotchner #hotch #ssa hotchner #hotch x y/n #hotch xreader

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matan4il · 2 years

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I've been a silent fan of you and your metas/opinions/AO3 for quite some time (but with a different blog) and I just.. wanted you to know how happy and excited I get everytime your notifications pop up for me. Like, srsly.. after every 911 ep I keep updating my tumblr just waiting for you to show up. Everything you write is an absolute masterpiece!! Many Kudos to you!! And thank you for.. everything!! sz

Hi Lou! This is just absolutely so sweet, just know, I am giving you the biggest possible CUDDLES! And you like my fics on AO3 too? I am honestly bawling. I haven't had the possibility to write in a while, so I'm delighted to know that the fics I have completed and shared still matter to people. THANK YOU! You're honestly too kind, but I'm so very grateful for this kindness, I wish I could do something to make you as happy as you did me! I hope that I can continue to share things you enjoy! Sending tons of love your way! xoxox

And I hope it's okay to add this equally lovely ask here -

heyy :) just wanted to thank you for your weekly buddie meta on the new episodes! since my country has only released the first 3 episodes of season 5 (episode 4 will be released tomorrow) i am way behind lol but i don't care for spoilers (the first scene of 9-1-1 i ever watched was eddie getting shot xD which lead to me spending around 10 months thinking the dude had actually died and because of this refusing to get into the show, imagine my surprise when i found out he had survived) anyhow, your meta is to me basically a short little summary of all the most important stuff that happened in the episode, so thanks for that! besides that i also get some quality meta of course which is also very much appreciated <3

Awwwww, hi lovely Nonnie! I am SO happy that I can help you! *HUGS BIG* I don't know if you might be interested in watching the eps online? I know it can be nerve-wrecking to wait that long for new ones. And I'm so happy my posts can offer both a kind of summary, at least for the Buddie content, as well as offer some insight. It's just so kind of you to let me know that what I do helps you, and I am sending lots of love your way! xoxox

I hope you both know such lovely feedback and support makes a difference, every single message I get is one that I treasure and hold close to my heart. It’s the reason I came back to do the s5 meta and am continuing it every week, so know that your words matter! <3333

(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)

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deluweil · 3 years

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okay, my take-away from this episode is: “You guys are so weird!”

I do not understand the writers’ insistence on Buck, supposedly almost leaving.

I would have understood, if it was about leaving to find Maddie, or making the wrong call about the CO2, but guilt about Chimney?

Not getting that. Chimney went to get his wife back, that’s it, he was mad at Buck but really keeping a grudge after lying to Buck’s face about the family secret for weeks, is really hypocritical and I refuse to believe that the Chimney we normally know, would do that. - I will say this though, I did not like Chimney in S1, his personality rubbed me the wrong way, Maddie made him, relatable, likable, to me anyway.

I figured with Maddie gone for a while, we would get to see Chimney being relatable and lovable as he learns to be a father, and him and Buck growing closer as they take care of Jee in Maddie’s absence.

This particular storyline, does not work for me. Also Buck almost-leaving didn’t make sense either. He would be leaving Ravi with no backup, Eddie and hen won’t be having sufficient cover as they pull patients from burning building, as we saw today, when Buck and Ravi came back in the nick of time to put out the flames surrounding Cap and Eddie and the patient. - Not to mention he would be leaving the 118, not one but two men down.

That may have been who Buck was up until S3, but now? I don’t buy that. Sorry. Not impressed with this scene.

I did love Eddie’s “You’re stuck with us.”

Which btw, there would have been no world where Buck announced he’s leaving the 118 without talking to Eddie first. - Eddie would have knocked some sense to him long before, whatever it was at the dining table - just saying.

Also at no time did cap come and told Buck to stop being a drill sergeant - not buying that either.

Hen and Eddie learning to work together, is priceless! The entire time I’m torn between my love for Hen and feeling sorry for Eddie lol They will rock together until Chimney comes back and I can’t wait to see more.

But even though we didn’t get to see many buddie scenes together, officially that is, we can see them still orbiting each other the entire episode, even though they’re partnered with other people, they still work together seamlessly, whenever needed or possible and that is a treat to watch.

Last bit, not about buddie, even now that I know (even though I did before) about Claudette's motives, I still don’t like her. - Sorry.

Love May, she’s been rocking the first few S5 episodes so hard!! I’ve never loved her more!!

And Athena needs to stop calling that creep by his first name, he doesn’t deserve that and I agree with Michael she needs therapy - a lot of it.

And Harry, it feels to me, has reached the stage where he questions his mother’s motives and actions, a little like May did (a bit more low key) in S3. I believe he will come around eventually. - But Athena hitting him, imo, broke something of the trust the two of them had, he will hold her at arms length for a while.

I’m not going to talk much about Taylor, I do however think that she’s making an effort, and they’re together quite a bit in this episode, so kudos for that? I guess.

and from that last scene, you can see in her eyes, that she loves Buck, in what capacity, remains to be seen.

But her “Not everything is about you” (as right as she may have been) felt like a call back to S3 where Buck was constantly told that by the people he trusts the most and that completely wrecked his self esteem (which wasn’t high in the first place).

Also that hug, when he comes back to the apartment and Taylor hugs him, he looks like he’s a thousand miles away, a bit like Eddie did after he talked to Carla. - buddie crumbs?

Anyway, I can’t believe we have to wait another two weeks for a new episode!!!

It’s too far!! - somebody hold me... 😭

Happy Tuesday everyone - I’m off to the pool 😁❤

Bonus:

“You guys are pretty jacked, what kind of work-out do you do?” 😂😍

#9-1-1 spoilers #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #buddie fandom #118 firefam #hen wilson #athena grant #harry grant #may grant #writers have managed to confuse me again #seriously that dining scene made no sense #taylor kelly #love her #but also some negativity #taylor kelly negativity #i want the boys back together #9-1-1 5x05 #my edits

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eponymous-rose · 4 years

Text

Return of the Revenge of the Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E108-109 (September 15, 2020)

It’s been six months since the last Speech Machine Upper Luminosity (is that right?), so let’s jump right back in like nothing ever happened!

Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Matt Mercer!

Announcements: Talks will now be biweekly, discussing two episodes at a time! Unfortunately, this means fan question submissions aren’t doable yet, since they’ll often be filming Talks for episodes that haven’t aired yet; questions will come from crew, but fanart and cosplay from earlier episodes will still get awards. Dani Carr’s new official title in the company is Lorekeeper!

Episodes 108-109

Brian asks Matt about the tug-of-war with the Moonweaver’s influence: “how much of that did the Traveler and Jester’s interactions influence him not going back to the Feywild?” Matt: “Okay, well, the Moonweaver isn’t necessarily happy about taking on the images and icons and co-opting elements of her worship, but also isn’t a vindictive deity necessarily.” She has a similar fey history to Artagan, “so I knew this encounter, there would be a punishment involved, at the very least to take Artagan down a few pegs.” He wasn’t going to be actually banished; the Moonweaver just wanted to “scare the shit out of him: You think you’re a trickery god? Welcome to the original trickery god, bitch.” There was a possibility of him just vanishing for a while, if there was no sign of humility; but based on their interactions, it was just enough to show the planetar that maybe this isn’t the same “troll of an Archfey” that the Moonweaver had known. “Maybe this is enough of a lesson.”

Laura thought Artagan was going to be “gone-gone, and Jester was going to be left alone”. She thought there was going to be a Feywild rescue, and Jester would have to try to find a new deity.

Laura’s wi-fi conks out. So does mine. Ah, 2020.

Jester would probably have followed the Moonweaver in an attempt to make amends. Laura mentions that every time she sat down to prep something for Traveler-Con, she realized Jester wouldn’t sit still long enough to plan it.

Laura: “If that cult hadn’t been there and she hadn’t seen what a false god could do to people, I don’t think she would have come to the realization that what her and the Traveler were doing was detrimental: oh, we’re fucking over people’s lives, hardcore.” If Artagan hadn’t been on board with picking a different deity, Jester would have stepped down at Traveler Con and she would have exposed the lie.

Matt’s “super happy” because he was purposely making sure he didn’t know what was going to happen at Traveler Con. “Okay, everything around it’s going to be interesting and fleshed out, but as to the actual convention, I have no idea what’s going to happen.” He wanted to balance a complete train wreck with character beats and mini-arcs, and he was satisfied with how that worked out.

Brian asks if Jester ever considered walking away from the Traveler. Laura: “Yeah. It could have progressed to that point. Jester always gave him the benefit of the doubt, and loves him with her entire heart, so if he would have not seen that what they were doing was not acceptable, in his own way, then Jester would have probably walked away. I don’t know if she would have walked away from him, but it would have been a big issue for her. I have no idea what that would have meant for her... my entire character arc.”

How does Jester feel about the Traveler now? “She loves him, but at the same time, she doesn’t adore him without boundaries. She sees a little bit more of who he is, and the worshiping aspect isn’t there anymore. She sees him more like another friend. That’s a complicated relationship for a cleric to have.”

Matt talks about what a fan he is of his players. “I’ve just been enjoying the hell out of this.”

Has Artagan learned his lesson? He’s been living for a long time, and old habits are hard to break. Matt points out that Artagan “is free in a place that he doesn’t have complete domain over, and he’s been humbled a few times. I think he’s definitely learned a series of lessons to some degree. We’ll see how far it sticks and where their relationship goes.”

Brian asks Laura how it’s been to have the spotlight on Jester for a long time. Laura: “It was nerve-wracking. I feel very relieved that it’s on to something else now, but it was so much fun, too. I feel like I kept getting so emotional as her through all this. Having to come to terms with all the things she was going through was crazy. But it felt good.”

Cosplay of the Week: An amazing Yasha by @shiieldmaiden on Twitter, photo by @asheneyed.

Matt: “I took a bath for this.”

Brian notes that Jester found herself caught between her god and the M9. Who would she have chosen if Artagan hadn’t kicked her off? Laura: “Here’s the thing. If Fjord hadn’t jumped on my back, Jester would have gone. But him doing that, I mean, that’s why I froze like I did. I really didn’t know where it was going to go. Thankfully Artie made that choice for me.”

The Vilya reveal’s been waiting since Marisha made Keyleth’s backstory. Brian recalls that the question of what happened to Vilya came up in the campaign 1 recap, and Matt was cagey about it. “When I got the original backstory from Marisha, in my head, I was like, her mother’s probably still alive, just lost to the chaos for reasons that I’ll get to, but I like the idea of an eventual reunion when it made sense.” As they got later in the campaign, Keyleth’s story became about taking on this leadership and stepping into her mother’s footsteps: “I didn’t want to rob her of her journey by bringing her mother into it before it was complete. There wasn’t a beat that felt right for it in the first campaign unless the players actively wanted to go and seek it out.” He knew she was on an island somewhere, and that there was an issue with her memory, but the details were still hazy, and it never came up in the first campaign. “As soon as we got to Rumblecusp as a possible visiting location, I was like, this would probably be the island that Vilya’s at.” He knew the community would pick up on it quickly, but the players would likely be too engrossed in their own story. “Getting to send her home was wonderful, both for an idea of closure, but as a long-waiting gift to Marisha and Keyleth. It’s something that I’ve been looking forward to giving to her.”

On building Vilya’s character: “I wanted to make sure she wasn’t too similar to Keyleth. She couldn’t remember her family, but when she did, it meant everything.”

Brian asks what inspires Jester’s thought process to try and befriend every creature they come across. “Everyone is interesting. Except for Celia, she’s a bitch. If you piss her off, she might just hate you forever, but everybody else she thinks is pretty great. Jester can hold a good grudge.”

Brian asks Matt about the inspiration for Vokodo. “It is a heavily customized version of a Morkoth. I was just intrigued by how they had created this creature that creates this island around it. It has ways of affecting the minds of creatures around it. I didn’t enjoy that the creature was only Medium in size, and I wanted it to be something that was a little bit more changed by its experiences.” He also tied it in with the Astral Sea lore and suggested that it had been changed by its proximity to this volcano, similarly to how Thordak did in the first campaign.

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Traveler Con Jester and Artagan by @callanthee on Twitter

How about the visions of the living city? Laura: “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with that thing. If it true that there’s a Molly connection, the Eyes of Nine, I don’t know. It’s just too much. We have to look into it.” Matt, blandly: “Weird mysteries.”

Who would the Disintegrate spell have hit if it had ricocheted? “Initially, I would have wanted to choose Caleb, like back at himself, because the immediate threat of that ray towards Vokodo, it would have been just right back at him.” But the runner-up would have been Jester because of the threat of the banishment back to the Astral Sea, the one place he didn’t want to go.

Laura could tell from Liam’s gameplay that he hadn’t realized someone was going to perma-die from that. “I thought it was going to be me, because I had been the one to banish him.”

Dani points out that the group would probably have gone after Artagan if Jester had died right before Traveler Con.

Matt highlights Cad’s Divine Intervention as pretty much the only way they could have learned the important information they used to prepare for the fight with Vokodo. He was torn between frustration at not being able to use this boss to its fullest potential... and pride in his players.

Laura is amused at listening to the characters talking about Jester when she’s not there. “It’s fun to hear but not be able to use that at all in your interactions with them.” Laura points out that even her sister who watches the show doesn’t trust the Traveler. Matt mentions that he’s always being very careful with the relationship between the Traveler and Jester, because it could get into rough territory. “There are unhealthy elements of their relationship, very much so. A lot of her story has been about disillusionment.” Laura: “Yeah. Eyes open.” They’ve set up bumpers to make sure they don’t veer into territory the players find uncomfortable.

“Artagan at the end of campaign one versus Artagan at campaign two are different. He came into this world a purely selfish being of id and impulse. He still has those dark tendencies and can lean down those dark paths. But he went from a purely chaotic, selfish creature to unintentionally beginning to care for people that aren’t him.” Traveler Con definitely left a mark on him. “Aw shit, I let them in.”

Sam starts Facetiming Brian. “How does he know when we’re filming this?! No. I’m not going to do it.”

Matt and Laura are "super excited” for the new landscape of the next part of the journey.

Laura notes that Jester is getting past the point of “needing to put on the mask”, including around her mom. And as that’s happened at Traveler Con, the small breakdowns have been piling up. “That’s what therapy’s like, right?”

On the new goliath shopkeeper (even with the mispronunciations as clues, I got nothing on that spelling), Matt points out that purchasing magical items is tricky because most things were pulled into the war effort. He was trying to figure out how a shopkeeper could build a business in that environment: “with a bunch of really small, shitty enchantments”. As a kid, he loved novelty shops, and took a lot of inspiration from those memories.

So glad everything’s back in business! “As always, don’t forget to love each other. And don’t worry, it’s almost Thursday.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

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lonelier-version-of-you · 2 years

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I have no words.

When I heard that the episode where Paula returned had been written by Lydia Marchant, I knew, immediately, to expect very good things. You all know how much I praise S22E44 of Holby, and the way it tied Henrik’s autism into his trauma - the heartbreaking way they addressed how his ostracisation and isolation, even undiagnosed, left him vulnerable as a child. The horrifically realistic comments from Reyhan suggesting it was Henrik’s own fault that his mother killed herself, because she “could never really bring herself to love him”. I came out of that episode in awe. Marchant had evidently done her research; she clearly knew the things people say about disabled kids, and just how high the abuse rates for disabled children are. It was a shining spark of careful writing in a storyline that was otherwise a sensationalist mess.

Marchant hasn’t done much TV writing, going by her IMDB, but I put my faith in her to write about disability issues again, after how good she was last time. Some part of me, however, worried that perhaps Holby S22E44 was just a fluke, and this episode could be a letdown.

I was wrong to worry. Lydia Marchant has done it again.

Tonight’s episode had me on the verge of tears so many times. The complexity and realism was amazing, yet heartbreaking.

The scene with Paula at the social services meeting wrecked me. The way that every little thing she said and did got turned back against her and treated as proof she was unfit to raise a child. The way the social workers talked about her “behaviours”. It was so hard to watch.

Rosie Jones was incredible in that scene. I cannot praise her acting highly enough. It made everything so much sadder, because you could feel Paula’s desperation.

And when Adi walked in and asked if there was any chance Paula’s baby could be born today... oh my fucking god. Again - I don’t even have the words. Paula did everything right, she did everything social services told her to, and they still refused to let her raise her own daughter. Just because she was struggling ten years ago. And she was struggling in the first place because she was a poor, disabled, abuse victim with no support bringing up her child. And all they did was take the kid away from her. And now she’s being robbed of the chance to be a mother all over again.

I wish I could say it wasn’t realistic.

Paula’s screams when she found out she wouldn’t be allowed to keep her baby were haunting.

The complexity of the writing in the interactions between Paula and Dylan was brilliant. The visible vs. invisible disability contrast - “you’ve had an easy life!” - Paula’s cerebral palsy in contrast to Dylan’s autism. The fact that Dylan can pass himself off as neurotypical but just “weird”, and Paula cannot. The fact that they’ve both faced abuse and discrimination and trauma anyway. The effects that all of this has on both of their lives.

(Something about tonight made me think back to S29E43. The scene where Brian, Dylan’s father, finds out his new girlfriend is pregnant. And his first thought is to ask how far gone she is, to make sure they’ve “still got options”. Because he doesn’t want to “risk” having another autistic child. He only changes his mind when he thinks it could actually be his second chance to have a “normal” kid.)

And then there’s the parallel of Paula’s first child going into care, while Dylan grew up in care himself.

There’s so many layers and so many differences and parallels in this storyline. It’s just brilliant. And William Beck and Rosie Jones both acted it so, so well.

The last scene with Paula in her flat, planning to run away, had me straight up crying. Fucking hell.

As heartbreaking as this storyline is, I can’t wait to see how it plays out, and I hope Casualty continue to handle it with the care and sensitivity that they have done so far.

So that’s all of that covered. As for Paige - as with last week, she’s still got a lot to learn as a doctor, but she does show a lot of compassion and that’s a very good start. I really do like her so far. The actress is still very charismatic.

The surrogate mother storyline provided an interesting contrast to Paula’s story. When the spoilers said the surrogate lady was 60, I was like “surely that’s impossible”, but then I looked it up and apparently there have been women who managed to get pregnant at that age through IVF! The more you know. See, watching medical dramas can actually be educational sometimes! XD

And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t tear up when the baby finally started crying.

It was also nice to finally see Rosa again. She basically disappeared for ages. I’ve missed her.

#BBC Casualty #Paula Kettering #Dylan Keogh #Casualty spoilers #tw;abuse mention #tw;csa mention #just because i brought up the henrik storyline from last year

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soundsgoodfeelslikeshit · 3 years

Text

Fights and Waves

Summary: JJ and Y/N have been fighting constantly and JJ finally decides to end it. Will John B be able to bring Y/N back to the group? Will JJ and Y/N be able to fix the relationship with each other and get back together?

A/N: If enough people like this I can do a part two. This was in my drafts for a pretty long time and I finally decided to finish it. Lmk if you want a part two.

“JJ, stop. Not tonight, I can’t do this tonight.” You mumbled as you rubbed your hands together. You had gotten off a tough shift and the last thing you wanted to be doing was going head to head with JJ in another argument.

“Why not? We can’t keep pushing shit under the rug!” JJ said raising his eyebrows at you.

“Babe, I’m tired, you look tired, and I’m sure the Pogues would rather not hear another fight.”

“Well maybe if you would tell me what was going on with you, I haven’t heard from you in three days! You just show up here like nothing happened. I get it you have your episodes, but I was worried. Where were you?” JJ pushed.

“I was working, my phone has been off for the past few days. I needed some quality me time. It was nothing personal and you know that.” You mumbled, rubbing your sore, aching back.

“Yeah, yeah. Nothing personal whatever! I’m your boyfriend. If you can’t let me know what’s happening maybe we shouldn’t be together, hmm, what do you think about that?!” JJ screamed.

“I think you’re being dramatic, it isn’t that serious Bub.” You said taking a step to him.

“No, you don’t need to come closer. We’re done.” He said stepping out of the Chateau, while slamming the door.

You sighed, and ran your fingers through your hair. This had been a recurring thing, every fight JJ would leave. This time it was different, he ended things. You watched with tears in your tired eyes as he sped away on his bike.

You decided to just call it a night and went to head towards your car.

“Y/N, hey where you going?” John B yelled.

“I’m going to head home, just not feeling too well today.”

“Where’d JJ go?” Kie asked.

“None of my concern anymore, I guess.” You mumbled wiping another tear.

“Hey, wait what?” Pope questioned as you shut your door.

“I’ll see you guys when I see you, but JJ will always need you guys more just like you’ll always need him more.” You smiled sadly and drove off.

................................................................................................................................

It had been weeks of the pogues trying to meet up with you and trying to call or text, but all of their attempts were left unanswered.

You’d started working more at a new shop that opened up and they of course never shopped there since they’d prefer to get their surf gear from a local shop and not a corporate one. You quit the wreck and apologized to Kie’s parents. You changed your number so you didn’t have to feel guilty about the numerous messages you were ignoring, but your hopes for the guilt to go away were unanswered it was still very much there.

“Hey, Y/N. There’s some people here to see you.” Your mom said as she opened your door slightly.

“I’m not feeling too well, can you have them come by another day?” You questioned as you rubbed your eyes.

“I’ll let them know.” She said smiling sadly.

You stared at the picture of you and the Pogues and threw it on the ground. No need for it to be on your bedside table anymore.

Your bedroom door opening startled you and looked up with wide eyes at John B.

“Hey it’s just me.” He said softly.

“I’m not feeling well.” You mumbled looking away.

“Y/N you’re like my sister. I know you. You’re not sick, you’re sad.” He said as he sat next to your frame.

“JB I can’t, JJ needs you.” You said with a break in your voice.

“I think you need me more.”

You looked at him with tears in your eyes as he pulled you into a hug.

“I-I can’t. I’m so sorry.” You sobbed.

“Shh, let us in. You can’t block us out forever.”

“I love J, I just can’t end up like my mom and my dad. They constantly fought, dad turned abusive, left and felt a better family. I can’t do that with him! JB I can’t!” You said through hysterics.

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” he said pulling you on his lap and rubbing up and down your back.

“You and J won’t end up like them I promise. Things just got complicated. There were a lot of stressors for everyone and JJ took it out on the wrong person.” He said, rocking slightly.

You stifled a sob and leaned further into him.

“Are you hungry? Sarah said she’s drop some food off with your mom. I told her I was gonna spend the night.”

“I’m okay.” You mumbled quietly.

“I’m gonna get you some food I know you haven’t been eating like you should.”

You sighed and let your mind race as you listened to your best friend’s breathing.

................................................................................................

“I’m just gonna sit this here. Thank you John B. She really needed this.” Your mom said smiling at the boy.

“Of course, Ms. Y/L/N. She’d do the same for me so I have to do the same for her. She’s the little sister I never had.” He smiled back.

Your mom smiled and placed the food down and left the room.

“Okay Y/N/N, come on time to eat,” he mumbled into your hair quietly.

You sighed and leaned away from his chest.

“Got you some chicken parm. I know it’s your favorite.”

You gave a soft smile and grabbed the takeout box he was offering.

“Get a movie and put it on please. We’re going to eat and talk and then go to sleep. Okay?” He asked.

You sighed and nodded as he left the room.

He walked back in with TV trays and set them up and then moved the food onto them.

You put Hercules in and smiled as you sat back down.

“Alright so why did you decide to leave? No contact, no response, nothing.”

“I-“ you started and set your fork down. “I couldn’t let JJ have the option to not be with you guys. I know when he starts spiraling he needs someone. He needs them in those first few days or weeks. When I spiral I don’t even realize I am, so I just handle it when I notice. I could help myself but JJ needed your guys’ support.”

“You need our support too. When you’ve spiraled in the past I’ve always been here. You can’t place JJ’s happiness above your own. You can’t fix JJ while you are falling apart.” John B said biting into his burger.

“You were there after I handled it for a while I got through the bad. Just needed the last few pieces put back together. JJ deserves you guys. I can’t keep him from you. I can’t make him choose to see me with you guys or just not come around. If it came down to me or JJ needing to leave the group it would have to be me.” You said sadly.

“You can’t do that. Listen if it was you or JJ it would be both of you. We would split our time. But that’s not the case. JJ came back that night devastated you were gone. Screaming and crying. He tried to break everything he could, he knew he messed up. He wants to fix it.” John B sighed.

“I can’t promise I’ll take him back immediately, it’s not the same anymore. There’s things we both could fix and that’s not gonna happen with the relationship we have. I can’t be the reason why, if JJ and I were to get married and have kids, that my kids have emotional trauma from seeing a parent be verbally abusive to the other. JJ and I are borderline abusive now.” You said fighting back tears.

“Y/N/N. You won’t end up like your dad. Okay?”

“John B I’m not saying I would I just don’t want that to be the course that could happen. Taking a break will be good for us. I’m not saying I won’t try, because believe me I will. JJ is it for me and I know that.” You said pushing your plate away.

“You wanna go surfing with them tomorrow and have a marsh day?”

You nodded and gave him your new number to put in a group chat with them.

“You aren’t gonna eat anymore?”

You shook your head.

“Haven’t been too hungry lately.” You sighed and gave your attention to Hercules.

................................................................................................

“Wake up, sleepy.” John B said shaking you.

“Leave me alone JB. It’s too early.”

“We’re going surfing for sunrise.”

You sighed getting up and seeing it was 4:50am.

You pulled your closet open and pulled out a bathing suit and a pair of shorts and a tank top.

“Did you bring stuff?” You questioned.

He nodded his head.

“You can change in here, I’ll be in the bathroom gotta make myself look semi-approachable.” You said as you shut your bathroom door.

You stripped off your old clothes and quickly shaved and showered. Washed your face, brushed your teeth, did your hair, and finally pulled your swimsuit on. You sighed at your reflection noticing the spots that were thinner. You just decided to throw your tank top on and find different shorts to wear.

“Hey you ready?” John B questioned.

“Yeah one sec. Need to find my swim shorts.” You said digging through your closet.

You found them and slipped them on and followed John B out of your room.

Scribbling a note to your mom you left and took your car to the Chateu to grab the Twinkie and JB’s board.

“You ready to see him?” He questioned.

“Absolutely not, but it is what it is.” You said with a small laugh.

He nodded as you began your drive to the beach.

You arrived after what felt like years but was really only a few minutes. You could see Kiara and Pope but no signs of JJ.

You prepared yourself and grabbed your wetsuit and board and followed JB.

“Heyy.” You said awkwardly scratching your arm.

Kiara pulled you into a hug and Pope quickly followed.

“Don’t do that again.” She scolded.

You sighed and nodded.

“We have a lot of catching up to do. But we can surf and have our day first.” Pope smiled.

You nodded as they rushed out to the water with their boards. You slowly put your wetsuit on and allowed John B to zip it.

“Don’t freak but JJ just got here.”

You nodded and turned to the boy.

“Hey.” He said softly.

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry. I know it was wrong, you had a lot on your plate and I shouldn’t have yelled at you. Guess we just know the right buttons to press.” He said sadly.

“I’m sorry too. I should’ve give you an explanation and not just expected you to understand. I do think it’s best we stay apart for a while. Fix ourselves and then maybe try again if it’s feeling like the right time and everything feels right.” You said.

“I agree.”

You smiled and led the way to surf with your friends.

#jj obx #obx jj #obx jj maybank #outer banks #outer banks imagines #jj maybank imagines #jj maybank #kie x Pope #outer banks john b #john b obx #john b routledge #john b outer banks #obx pope #pope heyward #jj maybank obx #JJ maybank #JJ maybank imagines

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