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#and im hearing talk that we might not work saturday so ill actually have time over the weekend SO
toxooz · 8 months
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finally starting to see a finishing line imma say this comic update should be done and posted by next friday at latest 🤘
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Page 93 (part 1)
Update: They broke up with me on Saturday. I had sent them a good morning text on Thursday and they never replied, which gave me even more anxiety then I already had about all of this shit. I didn’t text them or send any memes or anything the rest of the day or on Friday. Eventually they texted me late on Friday night asking if I wanted to go for coffee the next day. I immediately knew what that meant and I started bawling. Jessica asked how I knew it was a breakup talk or if maybe they just wanted to go out, but I knew, I knew then for sure that they were going to break up with me. I cried for a majority of the night after that until they texted me again basically saying that they were in a funk about our relationship and just need time for themselves but they would explain more the next day. That made me cry harder. Jessica asked me wasn’t this what I wanted, a face to face conversation? I said yes but I just couldn’t believe they were ending it, besides all the little things in the past few weeks, im blindsided, it felt like it was going so well and It was devastating me. The next day we met at the coffee shop and they told me that they didnt have the time, space, or energy to focus or give so much to something serious and that demands so much attachment and emotions, that its for the best we end it now before we get too attached. I told them that I was already there and I was attached. I started crying, which was really embarrassing and I apologized, and they just said I didnt need to apologize and that breakups are hard. They said they wanted to make sure I knew it wasn’t because of me or anything I had done, and in fact I had been “nothing but wonderful and anyone would be lucky to have me” (ugh) but that they just need to focus on the last few months of being here and doing their job and  looking forward to their move and school. I told them I completely understand and that im so incredibly happy and excited for them, which they appreciated. I told them that even though it hurts, that im glad I got to meet them and have the time we did, and they agreed. Although, when I told them id miss them, all they said was I’d be okay, which hurt because does that mean they won’t miss me? Why couldn’t they have said literally anything other than that? And the fact that they didnt seem sad at all kills me, in fact, they looked more like they felt bad for me, which makes me want to die. That is literally so embarrassing to think that they just feel bad because they’re breaking my heart or whatever and that they aren’t actually all that affected. But, what hurt the most, was them saying that if things were different and they were staying, they could have seen us working out long term, and it just fucking sucks, knowing that there had been a possibility that if they hadn’t gotten into Harvard then they would be staying here and we could have been together. Another cliche, oh it happened in another universe or maybe next life ill be in the one where they dont leave and we stay tohether. It always come back to that for me, wanting to feel happy in the idea that somewhere else it might have worked. Hana said that if they had really meant what they said, then they would have been willing to try and make it work because my person will want to go through the hard stuff with me to make it work. That hurt so much to hear and I just wish I could be with them. I already miss them so much, and this is a different kind of pain then if we had broken up in August, because even though I knew what was going to happen, at least they would have been gone, out of San Diego, but now, they are still here, living 10 minutes away from me, and I will have to live for the next 2 months knowing that they are here and I am not getting to be with them, and that is painful as fuck. It’s like with Liam over summer two years ago, where I knew he was back in Florida, and instead of making plans like we had previously, I had to know he was there but never actually get to spend time with him.
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simpsiren · 3 years
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about the roommate
park seonghwa x reader
main masterlist
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description. you talk about your weird relationship with the roommate you’ve been with for so long yet still dont know much about
genre. roommates au, fluff, seonghwa hinting at reader that they like them
warnings. nonee
a/n. hihii so i wanted to try writing for ateez since ive been doing a lot of nct ff already. its my first time so i doubt that it’ll be accurate but i got the idea from this post by @darling-akaashi so i hope it will be decent. i never thought that it would be this long but oh well HAHA enjoyy :D
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how did you even become roommates with someone like him? you dont even know. all you knew was that you were finding someone to share the apartment rent with and it just so happens that your friend at college, wooyoung, has a friend who was looking for an apartment.
and now here you are. a year and a half of sharing an apartment with seonghwa yet the two of you are in your separate rooms. the only interaction you ever made today was at breakfast where seonghwa cooked for you scrambled eggs and toasted bread.
there’s wasn’t much you knew about him at first. but as you slowly but surely try to accomplish your mission of getting to know seonghwa (since you didn’t like being awkward with people all the time), you start to learn a thing or two about him.
you were glad that after a year and a half of staying with him, you got to know more about him, despite the fact that the interaction between the two of you still needed some work.
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[ONE] : he’s a clean freak.
you were feeling tired from a long day of school and all you thought of doing while walking home was to sit on the couch and resume your anime marathon.
you unlock your door to find seonghwa mopping the floor. you nod your head slowly as you close the door and take off your shoes before taking any step further.
“didnt you mop the floor yesterday?” you ask, placing your keys on the kitchen counter along with your bag on the chair of the dining table.
“yeah.” was all you heard from seonghwa as you pour yourself a glass of grape juice. “you dont have to mop again-“
“its a habit.” seonghwa replies simply. with your cup in hand, you make your way to the living room, where seonghwa is currently mopping. you take a seat on the couch and grab the controller to turn on the tv. “hey wanna watch attack on titans with me?” seonghwa was mopping the floor in between the couch you’re sitting on and the coffee table and stops in front of you, raising an eyebrow.
“i dont watch anime?” you furrow your eyebrows and frown. “come on its fun! stop your cleaning and at least watch one episode.” you grab seonghwa’s arm and pull him down to sit next to you, making him flinch a little and quickly placing the mop beside the couch.
“how am i suppose to watch when i dont know what happened before?” you roll your eyes.
“if you find this episode good then you can watch it from the start in your free time.”
seonghwa sighs and and stands up, walking away to keep the mop before taking a seat beside you again and getting comfortable. “this better be worth it. im suppose to clean the toilet right now.”
“that can wait.” you nudge your arm into his chest, making him let out another long sigh before watching the show silently.
[ONE.2]
it was a saturday morning as you went to sleep at 4am. hence, making you wake up at 11am in the morning. however, you have always been laying around in your bed for about an hour or so before getting out of your room. when the clock striked 12, you thought that it would be a good idea to get out of your room and have lunch. gathering up all your energy, you brought yourself out of bed and lazily walk out of your room.
as you walked down the hallway, the first thing you saw was seonghwa cleaning the counter top of the kitchen. you clicked your tongue and walked over to where seonghwa was.
“did you make lunch yet?”
seonghwa looks up at you and shakes his head. “its a saturday so im spring cleaning the house.” you rolled your eyes and shake your head.
“you do that every single day!” you whine. seonghwa raises his eyebrow. “i like to keep the house neat unlike you.” you let out a soft ‘tsk’.
you have to admit, you were not a clean person at all. the only reason why the apartment is clean is because of seonghwa’s habit of being well organised and meticulous. basically everything in the apartment but your room is squeaky clean. although you see seonghwa staring at your room and looked like he’s holding back the strong urge to clean it for you, he doesn’t really do anything about the fact that you are the complete opposite of him. you dont know why but you only shrug it off.
“ill help you today, alright? then you can quickly cook something up for us. im hella hungry right now.”
seonghwa lifts his head up from the table and scoffs with a slight smile. you furrow your eyebrows and frown. “what’s that face for, huh?”
“this is the first time you offered to help. id say thank you but i know you’re only doing it because we both know im the only one that can cook.” seonghwa says confidently. you purse your lips and nodded your head.
“you’re right. but i’ll still help. so, what should i do?” seonghwa tosses the cloth that he was using to clean the kitchen counter. you took a step back as you quickly got a hold of it.
“wash it and wipe the bookshelf.” you let out a long sigh before flashing him a bright smile and headed over to the bookshelf. while you were wiping the sides of the bookshelf, you could have sworn that you saw seonghwa looking at you with a smile and a light blush of pink on his cheeks. you pretended not to notice though, and shrug it off.
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[TWO] : he’s a great cook.
you still remember the first day you came to the apartment. the first thing you see your new roommate doing was cleaning. like intense cleaning. it was late at night and you didn’t bother to even greet the stranger since you felt awkward and wanted to rest for the night.
however, at about two in the morning, you were laying down in your room when you felt the need to have a night snack. you stepped out of your room and went to the kitchen. the whole apartment was dark except for the dimly lit lamp at the kitchen. you jumped a little when you hear seonghwa’s voice coming from the living room.
“y/n?” you turn around to see seonghwa chilling on the couch with his phone. the living room was completely dark and you could only see his face from the light illuminating from his phone.
“i was just getting a snack to eat.” you said as you opened the fridge to look for something to eat. unfortunately, there wasnt anything that looked like it would fill your midnight appetite. you hear seonghwa standing up from the couch at the back and walking towards you. you tilted your head to the back and see seonghwa standing behinf you. you tale a step back.
“i can cook something if you want.”
“no no its fine i just need a simple snack.” seonghwa kept quiet for a moment as you went back to the fridge to look for food again, as if something might magically pop up. but of course nothing did.
“well i didnt think of getting any snacks when i moved in. ill make something.” seonghwa walks over to the fridge and nudges your arm, making you move to the kitcen counter and leaning your hip against it as you watch seonghwa get to work.
you were looking through your phone, distracted when you heard the noise of two bowls being olaced on the table. you lift your head up and noticed that seonghwa made yoghurt with cherries and raspberries. it wasnt your idea of a midnight snack but at this point, anything could go in your stomach.
“thanks.” you whisper softly as you drag the bowl near to you. seonghwa only hums in response as the two of you take a bite at the same time. your mouth gapes open as your head slowly tilts up from your bowl to look at seonghwa. he was casually eating when his raises an eyebrow at your weird expression.
“how.. how does this taste so good? what did you do it? did you poison it?!” seonghwa blinks at you a few times and shakes his head slowly. your forehead creases as you look at him suspiciously. “i never really liked yoghurt but holy shit.” you quickly take another bite.
“i think you’re just hungry. it tastes fine to me.” seonghwa says in a monotoned lazy manner and grabs the bowl and taking a seat at the dining table. you purse your lips into a straight line and grab your bowl as well and walking down the hallway to your room. before you open your door to go in, you quickly turn your head to the dining table.
“thanks for the yoghurt! ill wash the bowl later.” seonghwa doesnt react, keeping his eyes on his phone. you gave a weird look before heading inside. you sigh.
he’s going to be hard to talk to.
[TWO.2]
“its your birthday, right?” your jumped in your seat when seonghwa suddenly appeared beside you on the couch. “uhuh.. how’d you know?” you say softly, nodding your head.
“wooyoung told me. lll make you a cake or something. anything you want to eat?” you blink at him a few times, your mouth still gaping open as you were shocked about a few things. 1. he talking to you in a more open matter and 2. he actually want to make you something for your birthday.
“make me mac and cheese, please! i love the way you cook it!” you smiled brightly. seonghwa smiled back and coughed, only to return to his monotoned face. you laugh softly. you found it cute somehow.
“i wouldn’t have allowed it since its unhealthy but since its your birthday-”
“thank you!” you leaned in to hug seonghwa. the didnt hug you back, so you quickly pulled away. you noticed him blushing again, this time it was more obvious. you shook it off, despite knowing you felt butterflies in your stomach. “ill go out to get groceries then.” seonghwa stands up from the couch and heads inside his room to get ready.
you smiled to yourself constantly as you waited for seonghwa to finish making the mac and cheese. you sigh in satisfaction as the smell of the delicious food fills the air in the apartment. you tapped your feet excitedly as you had your eyes glued onto seonghwa with the pan in his hands. your face lit up the moment the starts walking towards you. you clap your hands as he places it down on the dining table.
“fuck it smells and looks to good.” you moan out. seonghwa lets out a soft laugh, making you blush just from hearing him do that. “if i made this any other day, i would’ve asked you to pay for the groceries.” you roll your eyes.
“come on dont be rude to me.” you grab a fork and spoon, bringing your plate near the pan and cutting out a slice for yourself. “thanks for the mac and cheese.” seonghwa only nods his head and took a slice for himself before the two of you ate together slowly, indulging the savoury and amazing taste of one of seonghwa’s best dishes he has ever made dor you.
you appreciated times like thae with seonghwa. alrhough not much interaction was made during meal times, you really felt that he cared for you. making meals you like on special occasions, and he’s always asking you what you want to eat, despite the fact that he might not be comfortable with the idea, he doesn’t fail to whip up a great meal. you liked that about seonghwa.
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[THREE] : he’s a great listener.
you basically the worse day that day. for some reason, everything just had to go wrong. the only thing you felt the whole day were anger and sadness, more so towards anger. it was late at night yet you were still fuming in anger, only wanting to let it all out the moment you stepped into the apartment.
you unlocked the door and dropped your bag beside you and slammed the door shut. of course the piercing sound of the door made seonghwa lift his head up in an instant. you notice him laying down on the couch with his phone and usual.
stomping over to the kitchen, you pour yourself a glass of cold water. you chugged the whole cup of water fast and forcefully place the cup on the counter. you clearly felt seonghwa’s eyes on you. you look up from your cup and notice him looking shocked, his mouth gaping open slightly.
“what?” you said, running your hand through your hair in frustration.
“you okay...?” you hear seonghwa ask. “does it look like im okay? today felt as if i entered a shit hole.” you huff. you made your way over to the couch, leaving your empty cup on the counter.
“move your ass.” you hiss at seonghwa. he raises an eyebrow and gets up from his laying position, proceeding to sit up and let you take a seat beside him.
you sit down and let your body sink into the couch, laying your head back as you sigh to calm yourself down. “what happened?” seonghwa whispers, putting away his phone and turning his attention to you.
you purse your lips into a thin line and slowly looked up at him. his eyes were filled with concern and his voice was gentle too. he hasn’t been this concerned about you before.
“apparently i got my best friend to dress up all cute and fancy so that she can have a date with my boyfriend behind my back.” you scoff in disbelief, shaking your head. you see seonghwa licking his lips nervously as he nodded his head.
“a shit show if you ask me. i saw him waiting for her in front of the shop i was working at.” you grab the pillow behind you and hug it close to your chest with you digging your face into it. “just how cruel can people get?” your voice was muffled but you knew seonghwa heard you loud and clear. you felt his hand resting on your back, patting it gently.
“its fine. rant all you want.” you took a deep breath and slammed the pillow onto your lap. you felt that it made seonghwa jump a little but he never fails to keep his composure in check. you could never be like him.
the night, all you did was talk, cried and screamed your heart out. and seonghwa was there to just listen to you. he didn’t react much, but he did nod a few times hear and there to let you know that he understood what you were saying. he wasnt so affectionate that he would hug you when you cried, but it felt good to just have him sit there with you while you let out all your anger and frustration. you figured that having him as your listener was his way of showing comfort for you.
[THREE.2]
it was 4am. you and seonghwa have been drinking since 2am. why? you had a bad day and you felt rhe need to destress with some alcohol. seonghwa wouldn’t have allowed you to get drunk but he was apparently having a bad day too and felt like he wanted to get a little drunk to forget everything that day.
“dont you know how fucking stupid that is? it only happens to me. why?!” you groan as you take down another shot. seonghwa fills up your cup again.
“just forget them. they’re being idiots.” seonghwa whispers. you gap your mouth open and roll your eyes. “how can i forgot something like that?!” you shout angrily, slamming your hand on the table. seonghwa laughs in a lazy manner.
“you’re cute when you’re mad.”
“excuse me?” you tilt your head to the side, wondering if you heard seonghwa’s words clearly.
“nothing.” you shrug it off and shake your head.
“by the way..” you started off. seonghwa lifts his head up from the table and lets out a ‘hm?’
“why arent you telling me why you’re drinking? you don’t normally do this. you dont even let me drink unless its a special occasion. i rarely see you drunk.”
seonghwa raises both his eyebrows and sigh. “i had a bad day. but yours sounds worse so ill let you do all the ranting.” seonghwa starts playing with his shot glass, circling his index finger around its rim.
you clicked your tongue. “but its always been about me. you cook me my favourite meals, you do all the cleaning and you’re always here for me when im pissed. i feel bad about it..” you quickly glance at seonghwa. its the blushing again. you started to accept the fact that you had an effect on him, instead of avoiding the fact that he might have feelings for you.
“i guess im always doing those things because...” he leans forward over the table, getting close to your face. you start to grow nervous and your heart started beating quickly. you held a fist to your chest, breathing slowly to calm you down, but it failed. its the first time you’ve seem seonghwa like this. he looked... hot?
“do you know the answer?” seonghwa asks, tilting his head to the side as you watch his eyes glaze over you whole face as if he’s admiring every inch of it.
“no?” your breathing stopped for a moment when seonghwa gets even closer. this time, your noses were touching. seonghwa chuckles lowly. why did that sound so good all of a sudden?
“i know that you know. i wonder why you’re shying away.” seonghwa’s lips immediately connected with yours. you blinked your eyes rapidly as you tried to process the situation. you couldn’t hold back. his lips felt great against yours. its like all the worries that have been piling up in you have been washed away from a simple kiss.
who knew you’d get this close to your mysterious roommate? its a drastic start to a good relationship nonetheless.
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warmau · 4 years
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☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au taeil~ happy late birthday moon man!! |  find others here: johnny  | haechan
part of you is sad that the closest you’ll ever be to him is at a safe distance
peering out of the window and into the baseball field below
you can kind of make out the details of his face from here, but you can’t see the birthmark on his neck or the glint of starlight thats always somehow in the deep back of his eyes
you can see the worn-out back of his uniform jersey - spelled out in hand-stitched letters - moon
but part of you is happy that you can at least enjoy the comfort of knowing he’s nearby
just the little whisper of the fact that his joy is minutes away from yours
you lay your head down on the desk
its the last day of classes and summer is begging you to go outside and enjoy it 
but summer also means you wont see him anymore, even if youve only been seeing him from far away
not seeing him at all is a feeling you cant wrap your head around - no matter how many times youve tried to 
“what are you doing?”
a hand comes down on the corner of the desk and you peek up to see the familiar, yet frowning face of your friend doyoung
he’s got the same baseball uniform on - he’s the pitcher for the schools team
“sorry, im about to leave-”
you slowly pull yourself together and up out of your chair, but doyoung interrupts before you can gather your things
“no, im asking what are you doing? this is the last day of classes and unless you tell taeil how you feel - you’ll have to wait months to see him again!”
im ok with that, admiring in secret is kind of a talent of mine
is what you want to say
but its too late because doyoung has taken you by the wrist and is tugging you out the door and down the stairs 
you have just enough energy to pull away when you both come to a stop in the middle of the sandlot 
taeil turns just as you want to break away, he smiles and says your name 
doyoung lets go and everything around you looks like it might start floating, taeil included
because you didn’t even know he knew your name
“well, ill leave you two alone”
doyoung disappears - not that you pay any attention - all of your senses feel like they’re being overridden as taeil comes closer
his black short bangs are stuck to his forehead with sweat from practice, his skin glows under the hue of the afternoon sun
“do you have any plans for today?”
“n-no. i was just going to walk home.”
“can i walk with you?”
he swings his bat over his shoulder and waits expectantly for your answer
at this close a distance, its all visible
the birth mark - the universe in the dark browns of his eyes, the little blemish on the side of his cheek
you swallow a lump thats threatening to close up your throat
“sure”
you’re both walking slow, the other members of the baseball team have already trotted passed you
throwing whistles and waves your way before disappearing into the summer air, some people have passed you as well - on their way from work or classes
but still, that feeling like everything is gently out of place, lingers over you
because you don’t get it - why are you here? since when did your crush have any sort of interest in you?
“i asked doyoung why you never come to any of our games.”
taeil suddenly says, looking at you from the corner of his eye
his smile is a little teasing, and so is his tone, but it doesnt stop you from flustering
“oh- i just - i have book club so-”
“don’t worry, he told me.”
“im starting to worry about what else he told you,,,,,,,”
you murmur without a second thought, before covering your mouth with your palm
but its too late, you know taeil has heard you, and that smile widens a little more
“he told me, even though you dont come to any games, im your favorite player.”
you both come to a stop at the same time
“so ive been thinking about it, why id be your favorite if you dont even like baseball.”
you think youre shoulders start to shake a little, maybe its your imagination, but you think you can feel nervousness creep its way all around you
hes talking so casually, but you dont know what it means and you dont want to be told - on the last day of school - that your feelings have been discovered and rejected
you were sure you could just carry them on with you until graduation and then never tell taeil how much you really did like -
“and i think i know why.”
he takes a second to tuck his bat back into the pocket of his bag, then he reaches out and locks your fingers with his in a safe, steady grasp
he starts walking and you have to push yourself to stumble after him 
because you cant believe it but ,,,,,,,,,, you didnt get rejected
in fact you think this means,,,,,,,,youve been confessed to too
taeil doesnt kiss you when he drops you off at your doorstep, he asks for your number and tells you to meet him on the weekend to watch him train at the park
you expect a message on saturday morning, but you get one fifteen minutes later
by the way, i like you.
sorry if i didnt make it clear, im bad at these things.
but,,,,,,,,i like you. i really like you.
who knows how many times you reread those messages, holding your phone close to your heart and then bringing it up to mouth the sentences over and over
on saturday, you see taeil and doyoung - both already with their baseball equipment on
taeil is swinging the bat as he warms up when doyoung pulls you aside by the elbow
“so, are you guys dating now?”
“all he did was walk me home do-”
“but he likes you, and you like him!”
doyoung’s wide eyes are searching for an answer and you just feel a shyness overtake you because, well, you dont know what this is 
youre just happy to be here - beside him
but doyoungs question does weigh on your mind, even when the training is over and its just you and taeil and hes offering to take you somewhere for dinner and you blurt out;
“is this a date?”
taeil chuckles
“i hope it is - arent people who are dating supposed to go on dates?”
the summer descends into hot, long days - and before when the stickiness and heat used to irritate you, now youve found yourself falling in love with it
laying on a park bench, eating ice-cream and watching your boyfriend practice until the fireflies came out
then you’d sit up, watch him take his hat off and abandon his bat in the grass
stretch out, exposing the strong lines of his arms and back before joining you on the bench, getting kisses for another day of practice well spent
sometimes he’d end practice early, or show up at your doorstep when you didn’t plan to meet and take you to the beach
splash around in the waves and then rest his head on your stomach under the umbrella - shared towel spread out beneath you
he’d fall asleep there, and you’d open up a book you’d brought with you - only distracted when taeil finally shifts awake and presses kisses to your skin
you learn how to hit a homerun with his arms wrapped around you for support
you learn that he harbors an extensive collection of LPs that you shift through when the summer rain has come out and he cant go out to the park, instead you’re on the floor of his bedroom picking dreamy songs to play and dance to, washing out the sound of thunder from outside his windows
you learn where taeil is most sensitive, right below his ribcage - when you end up splaying your palm on the skin there an digging your nails in just a bit - he makes a sound and grabs your arm, pulls you down to muffle out some string of curses against your lips
you learn a lot that summer, but most of all you learn that you were never happier pinning from a distance than you are from experiencing the real thing
you hate to admit outloud, but you thank doyoung for giving you the push to finally enter the bubble around taeil you never thought you’d be welcome into
and doyoung just grins, says “i told you so”
and forgets to mention that he’s actually known about not only your feelings, but taeil’s all along - ever since a home-away game where taeil had asked doyoung before they’d climbed onto the bus 
“whose your friend? the one whose always looking out of the window?”
when the summer starts to shift herself into the fall, and the heat dwindles down
you find yourself wearing that shirt, the one with ‘moon’ handstitched on the back, as taeil wraps a hand around your waist and tugs you into his side on the bus ride home
you go back to classes soon, and your time will be short between schoolwork and his practice
he presses a small kiss on the top of your hand and you want to give him back the shirt before you get off at your stop
but he stops you, those starlight eyes sparking, “you should keep it.”
so you do 
you keep it and are amused when you see taeil get a new one, this one doesnt have his name handstitched on the back though - its printed in shiny black letters
you run your hands over the name sometimes when you miss him
waiting for a latenight call with good news
“we won the game!”
you rub your sleepy eyes and murmur that you’re so happy, before you two hang up you hear him whisper - like he always does
“i love you, i hope you dream of me”
even now, all these years later, when taeil’s become an all-star player for one of korea’s biggest baseball teams
and you’ve fallen asleep watching one of the live games 
when he gets home, your husband kicks his shoes off and drops his bag 
sees you spread out on the couch
the sports channel glaring
that old uniform shirt from his high school days tucked in your arms
he leans down, kisses your forehead and he whispers
“i love you”
you shift
eyes opening to meet his with a half smile and yawning as you say;
“i was dreaming of you.”
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belovedbangtan · 4 years
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Dive| Part 9| jjk
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<Masterlist>
Pairings: Jungkook x y/n, Yoongi x oc
Word Count: 4.5k
Series Description:  Camping with your ex, sounds horrible right? The camping trip was   planned and payed for long before y/n’s shitty boyfriend broke up with   her. Her best friend Abby, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook are there to make sure she has an amazing time. However, sharing a tent with  a smoke show like Jungkook is bound to lead to some complications.
Warnings: language, drinking, mentions of sex, hardcore flirting,  maybe Jungkook didnt change afterall?, 
✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️✨✨⭐️
You wake up on Saturday morning, in potentially the best mood you’ve ever been in. A ‘good morning beautiful’ text from Jungkook definitely helped set things off on the right foot. You reply back when he instantly asks if he can Face Time, so you get up and get dressed.
When the calls connect, your breathe hitches; fuck he was so attractive. You lean in giving him a cheesy smile, scrunching your nose and telling him good morning properly. Pretending not to be phased when he rolls onto his back keeping the phone above him. You totally weren’t thinking about riding him this early, nope.
“You look pretty,” He says with a playful smile. You pause coming back over to the camera, resting your forearms on the counter.
“You’re one to talk, do you just wake up looking like that?” You tease, giggling when he tries to contain his blush. Pushing his long, tattooed fingers through his recently washed hair.
“So… where do you want to get dinner tomorrow?” He changes the subject.
“Mmm I don’t care, you can pick.” You reach into your fridge pulling fruits out so you can make a smoothie.
“Well, what’s your favorite food?”
You grin at him, you were in a teasing mood, “I told you… remember?” your face drops a little.
He instantly sits up in the bed, his brows knitting together, “You did?” he asks quietly, “Uhm, let me think.” He pulls his thumb up to his mouth and he starts to nibble at his fingernail.
“You don’t remember Kookie?” You tease again, this time pouting a bit to really sell it.
“No… I-I I remember, it’s uhm Pizza? Or Pasta?” he pulls his lip in looking at you, clearly still trying to scan his brain for a memory that you knew didn’t exist. Pausing, you come close to the camera smiling wide.
“You know, I’m actually pretty impressed. I was fucking with you. I’ve never told you my favorite food, but you guessed right somehow,” You squint, giggling when he throws his head back onto his pillow at your confession.
“You’re so mean! I really felt like an asshole! All I could remember was on the float trip, you were so drunk and you wouldn’t stop talking about Pizza,” You both start laughing at the faint memory that seemed like it was so long ago.
“Ahh so drunk me told you, that bitch,” You shake your head earning a laugh from him.
“Yeah well drunk me likes to tell secrets too, so it’s all good,” You nod your head thinking of his own drunken confession and how thankful you were for it.
“What other secrets did drunk me tell you?” you ask throwing all of your ingredients into the blender.
He  looks up thinking about his answer when a smug smile starts to pull at his lips, “I mean besides when you told me that I was the sexiest person you had ever laid your eyes on and you wanted to try every sex position known to existance with me?”
You choke on air, eyes wide as you turn to look at him through the phone screen, “I said what now?”
“That I was the sexi-“He starts to repeat himself, but you don’t need to hear it again.
“Yeah, no I got it. Uhm, when did I… when did I say that?” you stutter, trying to seem nonchalant. It definitely sounds like something you would think, but why the fuck would you say that… to him! You hold your finger up, telling him to pause. Turning the blender on he watches you patiently for about a minute. You’re eyes nervously flicking to his, hoping to recall at least a piece of this memory. Once you’re done, you pour your smoothie into a cup. You take a sip as you walk over to the phone, leaning down to hear him.
“You don’t remember? Come on babe, not even a little bit?” He cocks his head, his sinister grin making you think that maybe it wasn’t so farfetched.
“No, I kind of remember… we’re we in the tent?” you lie, you had no idea. Maybe if he thought you remembered a little bit; he might ease up. Was it better if you were completely black out and didn’t remember, or you were only a little drunk and the memory is fuzzy? Either way, your cheeks were burning red.
“Nope, not in the tent,” He giggles readjusting the phone and you see his toned chest for just a split second. Again… maybe drunk you was onto something.
You tilt your head, closing your eyes tight trying to remember any moment where you would have been bold enough to say such a thing. Suddenly his laughing brings you from your thoughts, “What’s so funny?”
“Well, I was lying but is that something you feel like you would say, y/n?” His head tilts and you realize he just pulled a you on you. “Because, I have a Karma Sutra book and we can do a few pages a day… it might take some time but i-“ He rambles on sarcastically.
“You are such an ass,” You bury your face in your hands. How didn’t you catch on sooner? Probably because you had that thought but a more R rated version of it every time you made eye contact with the fucker. Of course, it was something you would say.
“So Pizza and Karma Sutra? Is that our date,” you quip raising your brows. His face hardens, his eyes locking on yours, you can tell he’s attempting to read you. Was this a part of the joke or were you serious?
“I’m joking,” You giggle, getting closer to the camera before whispering, “or am I?”
He tilts his head and runs his tongue along the inside of his bottom lip, “How’s your smoothie?” His voice is quiet. You smile, giggling a bit because he took the easy way out. You admired him for that. Obviously, you wanted to finally have sex with Jungkook. Clearly the sexual attraction was there. You gave him the perfect opportunity to talk about sex, and he deflected.
“It’s really yummy,” you smile sweetly, the both of you just enjoying each other, “Ill have to make one for you.”
He lets out a big sigh, and the smile that takes over his face reach up to his eyes, “Do you remember me telling you about how I wanted to uhm…” He rubs the back of his neck nervously, “just be home with you? Like do normal day to day things with you?”
You smile nodding your head softly, how could you forget.
“Well I meant it then, but… I really mean it now. I wish I was there to drink smoothies with you, and just talk about our day. Maybe lay on the couch and watch a movie with you, until we’re both starving.”
Your heart feels like it could beat out of your chest. You’d be lying if your head didn’t interfere a little, warning you of the last time he made you feel this way with these promises. You take a deep breath looking away from the screen.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” He says softly and you quickly shake your head. That last thing you wanted was for him to think that he should second guess telling you anything like that.
“No, I-uhm, I still feel the same way about that. I liked the idea then, and I like it now,” You tell him.
“Im glad,” he smiles again before clearing his throat, clearly letting the moment make him softer than he was used to being, “So you’ve got your work thing and I’ve got my family thing, then tomorrow we can get dinner and uhm… talk.” He mumbles and you nod your head, laughing to yourself at how flustered he seemed to be.
“Okay then I’ll text you, bye beautiful.”
“Bye Kookie.”
As your finger hits the red button, you wait for second to make sure he’s gone before collapsing onto your kitchen floor. Your stomach filled with an army of butterflies, and your chest thumping so hard you could feel it in your ears. You wished you could skip today and fast forward to tomorrow, eager to finally be able to call him yours.
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The day flew by and before you knew it you were in the Uber on your way to meet up with your co-workers. It was Johnny’s birthday, and he all but begged you to be there. You’d be a bold face liar if you said that the men you worked with weren’t attractive. All of them were breaking the scale of attractiveness. However, you never once thought about them in the way that Jungkook was worried about. To be completely honest, it was hard for you to think about anyone the way you thought about Jungkook. Even when you hated him, you still thought the world of him.
You thank your Uber Driver, flattening your peplum skirt down when you get out of the car. Texting Namjoon to announce you arrive. He meets you outside instantly enveloping you in a hug, taking your hand and leading you to the table where the rest of your co-workers are.
“y/n! I was wondering if you would make it!” Johnny yells, standing up to hug you. His tall frame hovering above yours.
You chuckle, “How could I miss it? You told me if I didn’t come you would stop getting my coffee every morning!” you quip, he shushes you by handing you one of the readily available shots on the table. Tequila. Wonderful.
After a few more shots of the harsh white liquid, you’re standing at a table with Namjoon. He’s checking his phone because he can’t seem to stop working. You pull out your phone, thumb hovering above his name and the cute monkey emoji that accompanied it. You decide to send him a simple, Hey you. He told you he had to do a favor for his Aunt. After your call in the morning you texted a bit and he told you to call him when you left the bar. It was only an hour in and you wanted to leave already. Scratch that, you wanted to talk to him already.
“You seem to be in a good mood,” Namjoon’s calm voice snaps you from your reverie.
Smiling down at the name on your screen, “I am actually,” you giggle because you were. You were so excited and happy for the next step in your life, “You know that guy I was talking to you about?”
Is brows raise and he lets out a huff, “You mean the only guy you talk about, Jungkook, right? Yes, y/n, we all know about Jungkook.” He giggles and you playfully smack his arm. Okay maybe you were talking about him a little too much.
“Yes him, well we’re going to dinner tomorrow and I think I’m ready to ask him out.” You bite your bottom lip hard, just thinking about it.
“I think that’s probably a good idea,” He laughs, bringing his beer to his lips.
“I think so too. I just wish all of the doubt was gone, ya know?” you take a drink from your drink, “Like, a tiny part of my brain just keeps reminding me of how much he hurt me.”
“But he explained all of that right?” Namjoon asks, you nod sucking your drink down anxiously, “Well I think that speaks volumes. If he meant it, and he actually feels sorry, AND he explained why he reacted that way… I’m pretty sure he cares about you as much as you care about him.”
You slowly drag your eyes to meet Namjoon’s, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. He widens his eyes as he cocks his head, as if to silently say, ‘I know, I’m a genius’. You couldn’t argue, because he was right. If Jungkook truly didn’t care about you or your feelings, he wouldn’t explained himself at all. You inhale deeply, looking at your phone for the umpteenth time. Maybe he was still busy with helping his aunt, you think.
Before you can start overthinking, a very intoxicated Johnny finds you and Namjoon. Three more tequila shots, and your head is spinning now. You’re drunk but at this point you can manage to get an Uber. You tell Namjoon you’re leaving, and you beg him not to tell Johnny. You watched how he guilt tripped another of your co-workers when she was attempting to leave early, and you don’t think you have it in you to tell him no. He seemed like beast on the outside, but he had those puppy dog eyes on lock down. Namjoon hugs you and tells you to let him know when you’ve gotten home safely.
After your Uber is confirmed you walk outside to the busy street to wait for it. The strip of bars was insanely crowded, so you sit along the window frame of the bar you had just left. Looking at your phone once again, it was almost 1 am. Your hazy thoughts wondered if he forgot about you. What would he still be doing for his aunt this late? You get a notification telling you that your uber was about to arrive, so you stand up and walk to the edge of the side walk. As you search for the white Chevy Cruze your gaze is pulled to the group of people piling out of the bar to your left.
You roll your eyes at how obnoxious they were. Loud and clearly piss drunk. Suddenly the crowd spreads apart, and what you see must be a mirage. Her dress was clinging to her body and she was clinging to him. Him. His arm was around her waist as he walks with her to a car. Her drunken form wobbling along the cobblestone. He laughed at something she said, and it made feel like you were dying inside. She says something in response, but he only seems to be concerned with getting her home. He slides in after her, and you watch his familiar tattoos disappear as the car door closes.
Your Uber honks obnoxiously, making you jump. Inhaling for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. You get into the Uber, and you almost want him to take you the hospital. That cant be right, you think to yourself over and over again. So many questions running through your mind and you can’t find an answer for any of them. All of your questions reminding you of the reason you stopped talking to him to begin with. Reminding you of the fact that you really didn’t know who he was. It felt like your chest was on fire, burning your lungs from the inside out. You don’t know when the tears started to fall, but now they weren’t stopping. You sit back and you think. Your brain and the 8 shots of tequila having very different opinions on how to handle this situation. Fuck it, you think to yourself, tequila wins this time.
“Excuse me sir,” You sniffle, attempting to mask the heartbreak, “Could I change my destination please?”
His eyes flick to your red, wet ones through the review mirror and he listens closely as you tell him the new address. Once he changes his route, you melt into your seat. Wishing it would swallow you whole so you wouldn’t have to deal with any of this. As fucked up as all of this was, and as much as you wanted to disappear; more than anything you wanted a fucking answer. Why would anyone toy with someone this much? It wasn’t a fucking game and he deserved to know that. The Uber slows to a stop and you thank him repeatedly, and he asks you again if you’re sure you were okay.
The Uber drives away, and you stop, staring up at the tall building. The last time you were here, Jungkook was the drunk one. His arm slung over your shoulder, much like the image that scorched itself into your brain of him and mystery girl. The tears are back, you decide that they have a mind of their own, because right now you can not be sad. Sure it feels like your heart was ripped out of your chest, but you can be broken later. Right now, you have to be the girl that stands up for herself, the girl that knows she doesn’t deserve to be treated like an old plaything that you love one day and throw out the next. You deserve better, and you hate yourself for giving into his deception.
It feels like a video game as you walk the familiar path. Your hand tingles when you picture his hand pulling you up the stairs. When you finally get to his door, you stand there for what seems like a decade. Your fingernails digging into your sweaty palms, trying to build an ounce of courage so you can knock. You start to over think it all, as you start to walk away you hear a high pitched giggle and then a very aggressive ‘shush’. Then before you can overthink it any more your knuckles are knocking aggressively.
The door opens quickly, “Im sorry! We will be quiet I prom-“ His eyes meet yours turning pale in an instant, “y/n, wh-what are you doing here.” His voice is shaky.
You bite your lip hard to keep from crying on the spot, without saying a word you push past him and into his apartment.
He closes the door and turns to see you running your finger along mystery girls’ purse and coat, His eyes widen when he realizes why you’re here.
“Baby, No! I swear that is not what it looks like! She is-“ He rushes to you taking your hands in his and you fling them away from you pushing him back.
“Don’t fucking touch me!” You scream and his face drops, “I don’t care who she is! I don’t want to know anything! I really thought you cared about me Jungkook! I thought that you were different, even after all of those horrible things you said to Ben. I believed that. Turns out you were worse than him! At least Ben never fucking lied to me! He might have been a piece of shit but he didn’t lie to me! You don’t want to come home to me! You don’t want to be with me! This is all just some fucking game to you! Well guess what, I fucking quit. I don’t want to play anymore.” The tears on your face are constant now. Your knees tremble as you watch him reach out for you, pushing him away again.
“Kook,” a small voice yells out, “what is going on?” Mystery girl asks as she comes into view. She was probably waiting for him in his bed, your fist curls at the thought.
“Oh is this y/n?” She slurs, clearly still way too drunk, “Oh gosh she’s so pretty, why are you crying?” she tilts her head as he ushers her back to the hallway, whispering something to help her understand.
You exhale a shaky breath, why did she know your name? You swallow hard, wondering why something felt wrong. When he appears again, his face is hard.
“She’s my cousin…” He explains and suddenly the wind is knocked out of you.
“I should have told you what was going on but, I honestly didn’t know I would be doing all of this. It’s her birthday and she wanted to go out, so my aunt asked me if I would show her a few places. Her friends got way too fucked up, and she got way too fucked up. She started throwing up, so I brought her back here because I didn’t want to leave her like that…” He runs his hand through his hair stopping when he gets to his neck.
“I’m… I’m so sorry…” You blink at him, “I just saw you with her leaving the bar, and you weren’t responding to my text… and I don’t know..” you start to ramble, wishing that you could take it all back.
In one stride his hands find your waist, pulling you close to his chest. He reaches up to your tear stained face and delicately pushes your hair from your face.
“I’m not mad at you. It looked bad. I get it, I know that I still have to work on your trust,” His voice is soft as his forehead rest against yours.
You look up locking your glassy eyes with apologetic ones, “I’m sorry for screaming at you,” is all you can manage to say. Your head stopping you from spewing all of the thing your heart (and tequila) want you to say.
You feel his chest when he laughs to himself, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
“You can scream at me, I don’t mind,” He chuckles reaching up to wipe another tear away, “But I really hate seeing you cry. I never want to be reason for your tears.” His eyes start to mirror yours, before he cries too you wrap your arms around his neck pulling him down to you so you can press your lips to his.
His hands meet behind your neck pulling you closer. The longer the kiss goes on, the more you don’t want to stop. His tongue presses against your bottom lip before you allow it to meet your own. You suck his bottom lip into your mouth before pulling away.
“Are you drunk baby?” He asks quietly pressing his swollen lips to your temple.
“I drank a lot of tequila,” you answer methodically, only causing him to chuckle.
“Well you should stay here, with me. My aunt is picking her up in the morning, but we can cuddle on the couch, is that okay?”
You smile and nod knowing he wishes the circumstances were different. What he doesn’t know is that even if you had to sleep inside the bathtub, you would stay because you wanted to be with him.
“Ill go get you some clothes,” He smiles and kisses your lips fervently once more before he disappears.
You put your things down and you quickly text Namjoon to tell him you’re home safe. Smiling as your fingers type the words because ‘home’ was starting to have an entirely new meaning to you. Jungkook returns with a pair of grey sweatpants and baggy t-shirt, handing them to you as he looks you up and down.
He sighs, “You look like an absolute Goddess in that outfit but I have to be honest,” He grins, pulling you close to his chest again, “I’ve been dying to see you in my clothes again.”
You giggle as his hands travel down the length of your skirt, stopping at the hem. His fingertips brush along your thigh, before traveling up slowly. You reach out grabbing a fist full of his t-shirt to pull him impossibly closer to you. When your lips connect with his jawbone, he lets out a sharp exhale. His hands ball up and he places them back onto your hips, making you slow your attack on his neck.
“What’s wrong?” you ask with a dramatic pout, pushing yourself back so you can look up at him.
“Nothing baby, its just that you’ve drank a lot,” a soft smile forms on his lips as he leans in to kiss your forehead once more, “Now go change so we can cuddle, yeah?”
You nod instead of protesting, walking to the bathroom to change into his clothes. His baggy sweatpants hang off of your hips and you know they look so much better on him. You fold your clothes up and place them on top of your purse when you walk out. His eyes are on you as you walk over to his seat on the couch, his eyes seemingly satisfied.
“Yeah… I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing you in my clothes,” He mumbles, pulling you down to him. You decide to straddle his hip, resting your head on his chest. You feel rather than hear his laugh as you exhale dramatically. The combination of his fingers running up your spine and the melodic beat of his heart slowly turns you into mush on his chest.
“I’ve missed you,” you say quietly before you can even think about it.
“Mm, I’ve missed you too baby,” He tilts your chin up, brushing your hair from your eyes so he can look at you before pressing his lips to yours once more, “Get some sleep, don’t want you to be tired on our date.”
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A/N: I think the next chapter will be the final chapter guys! Please tell me what you think! Also, request are open! I have a few that I'm working on currently but I'm searching for a new series to write! Also check out my new one shot, Simple Things, if you haven't already! 
Also, Im getting so fucking pumped for comeback, how are we gonna handle this new era guysss?!?! 
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Taglist:
@cainami @carolsummerlove @zeharilisharaban @jikooksgirl19 @fallen-for-luke @madygswich @sugalarity @lofikoo​ @ggukkieeee @peachy-bhun @megs58298 @kawaiiayasan @ jeonchan26  @ambersaesthetics​ @hopekookies​ @rumpucis @iaintnohollybackgirl​
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seijch · 3 years
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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER
omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):
the reason(s) i was gone for so long
what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)
the status of those um . halloween requests
the future of this account
i. so . Hiatus .
i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.
a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)
tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr
ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall
when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)
at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼
media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa
tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now
iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right
i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:
there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...
i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.
regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).
tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.
iv. so what now?
well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list
and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)
as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.
ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......
and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.
tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)
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the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:
im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.
there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.
regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝
love, ari 💌
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yoonlixstars · 3 years
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Enemies To Lovers Hyunjin ff pt 2
Pairing: Hyunjin x reader
Genre: Idk hate to love(?)
word count: idk
Note: Im sorry it took so long for me to write this, also yes i am copy and pasting this from my wattpad. so im sorry if theres any mistakes. but yea also last time. on the part 1. i noticed i forgot a part. so lemme explain. in that scene y/n’s friends which are blacpink approach her. (blackpink hates hyunjin too. not in real life, just in this fan fiction) and they talk and then they go to class. yea all that. and if i end up forgetting a part. ill say it in part 3 (if there will be one). okay yea thats all. enjoy this story! and i saw i got 12 notes on my skz reaction thank you so much! it means a lot to me♡
You walked out of the classroom, head hung low and disappointed at yourself for getting in trouble by Hyunjin again. Meanwhile in the classroom.
Hyunjin's pov: I was thinking of y/n and I started feeling kinda bad, I mean, she's in detention cause of me, and i always caused her trouble.
Hyunjin then raised his hand. As he was planning out what he was going to do when the teacher saw him. "Hey ugly!" He all of a sudden shouted, the whole class turning to look at him. The teacher also turned around, with a shocked and angry look on her face. "Hwang Hyunjin repeat that and you will get detention for 1 week straight!" The teacher shouted, her face was red as a tomato, but she wasn't blushing, she was mad af, Hyunjin smirked and once again said "I said hey ugly!" The teacher was now breathing heavily, "HWANG HYUNJIN, TO DETENTION, NOW!" Hyunjin was now glad he achieved what he was planning. Hyunjin got up proudly and started walking out of the classroom. Ready to see you in detention.
y/n's pov: I sat down in a chair, waiting for a teacher to come in. I then heard the door open. I thought it was a teacher until i turned around.
Hyunjin entered the empty classroom. The first thing that his eyes spotted was you, sitting down in a chair while drawing in your sketch pad.
You turned around. But instead you saw Hyunjin. Your face was showing visible confusion. "Don't ask, I just felt bad." (ˢᵖᵒⁱˡᵉʳ: ʰʸᵘⁿʲⁱⁿ ˡⁱᵏᵉᵈ ʸ/ⁿ ᵃⁿᵈ ʸ/ⁿ ˡⁱᵏᵉᵈ ʰʸᵘⁿʲⁱⁿ)
"Yea right." You said that while rolling your eyes. "you 'felt bad'." You glared at him. As he took a seat next to you.
You resumed working on the drawing on your desk. But you felt like someone was staring at you. You looked to your side to just see Hyunjin gazing at you. "W-what? Is there something on my face?" You stuttered saying that. His gaze was making you loose your mind.
"There's nothing on your face." Hyunjin responded. His lips curving into a smile. After he said that. Everything seemed awkward again. Until your stomach growled. You felt kinda embarrassed he had to hear it too. His soft chuckle filled the room. "Here, i brought a sandwich." He said. His hands digging in his school qbag until he found the sandwich he was talking about. But you were shocked. That was the first time Hwang Hyunjin a.k.a your enemy, has been nice to you.
"Here, i found it." He offered the piece of food. You stared at it. Wondering if you should accept it or no.
"Do you want it?" He asked.
You were about to say no. But you were too hungry. And gladly accepted it.
A smile once again appeared in Hyunjin's lips. Wondering why he has been mean to you, all of these years. Instead of becoming nice friends. He decided to be like this to you. He was staring at you once again. Not noticing for how much time his eyes were glued on to you. Until you finally noticed it again. “Why do you keep staring at me?” You asked, but he just said nothing. “Are you hungry too?” You asked him, offering his sandwich back, which was almost done. But he replied with a “nothing, wanna hear a joke?” (a magical 15 minute time skip.”  You and hyunjin were now laughing a lot with each other
Just talking about random stuff and funny moments that happened to one another
You actually never knew hyunjin could be like this
You always thought he was just some jerk. But now that your actually getting to know him,
You realized you were wrong.
He then stopped laughing and said your name.
“Hey y/n?” you looked at him, and just hummed in response.
“Can i confess something?” You once again a hummed a yes. Curious at what he was going to say. 
(Im not good at writing confessions. so you could make up your own, i will still write a short one.)
“Y/n, i like you, i mean, love you. i know you wont believe me since i have been awful to you all these years but the reason why i did that, is because i was afraid you wouldnt be friends with me. so thats why i started bothering you. its okay if you dont feel the same way i und-” 
you cut him off with a passionate kiss. (magical 30 seconds time skip)
he was the first one to pull away. He was blushing and you found it very cute. “S-so does this mean you like me too?” He asked, and he started looking like a tomato. 
“Of course silly!”
You smiled at him, and he returned it back with a warm smile, he was starting to lean in for another kiss but it got interrupted. 
“WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING ON THE FLOOR?!” You and Hyunjin quickly stood up, looking nervous as hell. “u-um, we were-” The teacher cut you off. “I DONT CARE YOU WILL STAY IN HERE FOR THE REST OF THE DAY, AND ON SATURDAY YOU ALSO HAVE DETENTION!” 
You and hyunjin both looked at each other, and shrugged. 
I mean at least he got to stay with you?
okay and then you and hyunjin started dating, your friends were shocked but soon they became friends with him too and yea okay The End. 
also there wont be no part 3, i finished the whole story in this part even tho there was gonna be more :(
and this is not proof read so sorry for any mistakes. also after this i might post another skz reacting to their s/o because the last one got like 22 notes i dont remember but yea i hope you enjoyed this story! 
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katedoesntexist · 3 years
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Stay-at-home journal 2/27/21
Yesterday:
Worked, got help and solved two crises
Order chinese food and branched out and got something different (but still got rangoon bc what can i say, im a slut for cream cheese)
Watched yt w partner
Laid in bed and just chilled out watching gardening and home improvement vids until i fell asleep
Today:
Try to install linux on the old comp
Buy paint for the bathroom bc i keep dragging my feet abt it
Idk if we're moving bushes bc it rained last night and the ground might be too soggy
Order a jigsaw bc im tired of not having one
Watched my partner play more of the medium
Free space:
So whats funny abt the medium is that our irl friend group gets on discord to watch my partner play games every Saturday, but i dont join in. Idk i just dont feel like socializing. So usually i go do something else. But this time its a game i care abt (bloober team ilu, you'll always have a place in my heart), so i want to watch. So hes got headphones on talking to them but they cant hear me, and i cant hear them. But i can hear him laughing and responding. They know im hanging out, so sometimes one of them will pass a message to me or ask a question, and bob will relay it to me. HE IS THE MEDIUM. lmao when he tells them my response he goes "i...i think im getting a message from the other side! Yes! I can hear it... She says... 'lol youre an idiot' " 😂
Its prob just the fact that the suns coming up earlier and its finally warming up, but i want to experiment w more creative projects. So i rly am going to buy that jigsaw. And some blades. And some wood. Probably nails and wood glue too. Might need ear plugs. I also want an engraving pen just bc why not. Theyre surprisingly cheap. Maybe you get what you pay for idk. Im going to try to make little decorations. And if im rly cool i can make some miniature things. No promises on that tho bc it sounds hard.
I dreamt a bunch but i remember one part was in my kitchen back home and i got up on the counter and could jump to the table, jump to the doorway and grab the molding, then jump to another doorway, then go up some stairs. Some serious floor-is-lava parkour. Another part of the dream i had painted the room at the top of the stairs so it was a variety of scenes all the way around. Rich colors and landscapes. Almost flowing. Some of it sparkly.
Well time to get up and figure out how to put linux on a thumbdrive so i can boot from it and install to the comp i formatted. Im a little worried some areas of the disk got corrupted, but i thiiiink i did the format that marks those as bad sectors?? Honestly not sure. But ill give it a shot since this is the only computer we have that actually has a dvd drive and id like to rip that stupid mother goose movie. There are versions of it on yt but iirc they're reaaally low quality. Anyway, if i get this figured out im gonna see if some friends want to stream it w me.
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emybain · 4 years
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Speak Up
hiiiiii I dont like this fic but im posting anyway because im tired and my body is driving me nuts right now! maybe when I can think clearly again ill write another fic where nova and Adrian have a fight (or maybe ill just write it now sksksk) because this didn't turn out the way I wanted it to. I felt bad about just deleting it though so I figured I might as well post it,,,no harm in that other than my reputation
SPOILERS FOR SUPERNOVA
SPOILERS FOR SUPERNOVA
SPOILERS FOR SUPERNOVA
Nova draped an arm over her eyes, feeling a headache coming on. Well, she had a recurring headache just about every day so far that week, and it was only Tuesday. Already she was sick of them. They weren’t the only things she was sick of. 
    “Men are stupid,” Danna said from below Nova. She, Ruby, Danna, and Narcissa were all in Ruby’s room. It still felt weird for Nova to have girl acquaintances, dare she say friends, the same age as her after only having Ingrid and Honey for so many years down in the subway tunnels. “Why do you think I like girls?” 
    Nova and Danna were still on rocky terms, Danna being the only one left on Nova’s former team who hadn’t fully forgiven Nova yet. Nova didn’t blame her; she’d be stubborn to forgive herself as well after everything she put Danna through, as well as the others. Still, it could be frustrating at times when Nova stretched to be nice to the other girl and have it thrown back in her face with a snarky comment. At least now, Nova felt as if Danna was finally starting to accept Nova’s apology, and they could hold a civil conversation when left alone. 
    “Have you tried talking to him?” Ruby questioned, ignoring Danna’s comment. Nova rolled over onto her stomach to peek down at them from her spot on top of one of the twin’s beds. 
    “No.” Nova groaned, sitting up and draping her legs over the mini wall on the bunk bed, meant to keep someone from falling off in their sleep. “I don’t care to see him right now.”
    “Are you going to break up with him?” Narcissa eyed Nova over her book, a mischievous smile on her lips. Her head was resting on Danna’s lap. “That would be hilarious.” 
    Danna swatted at her lightly, affectionately, before going back to playing with her hair. The two had been dating for a few weeks now, and Nova was beginning to wonder if she and Adrian had been as disgustingly adorable when their relationship was official. 
    “No,” Nova said, almost too quickly. Danna snorted. “I don’t know. Is it something worth breaking up over?” She looked down at her hands, feeling her cheeks heat up. 
    Three months of bliss. Apparently, that was all the world wanted Nova to have before it slapped her in the face. It had been three months since the Supernova, and things with Adrian were going fine until last Saturday night when Nova had gone over to watch a movie. It had been a long day for both of them; along with the other Renegades, they were trying to install more independence among the citizens. Now that everyone in the world was a prodigy, more and more people were beginning to see that they didn’t need the Renegades to protect them and do everything for them, and the Renegades, much to Nova’s relief, believed the same thing. It was a lot of work, undoing the system the Renegades had crafted, but Nova enjoyed it. 
    Well, she enjoyed most of it, save the media attention she was getting. A lot of people didn’t know what to think of her, the girl who was one of the most wanted criminals in the city and who was now what they deemed a “good guy” that was dating Gatlon’s golden boy. They wanted to know more about her, and that meant having cameras and reporters constantly in her face whenever she left her apartment. Nova was sick of it, to say the least. And some magazines were starting to catch on, based off of what they were now writing about her and how she had a snippy attitude and a mean composure. Fine. Whatever. She didn’t need a couple of journalists defining who she was. 
    Adrian always tried to comfort her whenever a new story came out, but it never really worked. She could tell he felt bad for her, but what was he to do? He grew up in the spotlight. She grew up in the subway tunnels. He just...didn’t understand. 
    When she had been at his house the weekend before, they had been somewhat paying attention to the movie until Nova got up to use the bathroom. After she got out, Adrian was not on his couch anymore. Figuring he must’ve gone upstairs for more snacks, she had grabbed the empty popcorn bowl and headed up to help him out. But then she paused before she walked into the kitchen, hearing voices. It was a habit, something she needed to break, and she wouldn’t have kept eavesdropping if she hadn’t heard her name mentioned. 
    “...need to keep her in line for this interview, Adrian.” She had recognized Hugh’s voice immediately. Like with Danna, Nova and Adrian’s father had an awkward relationship. While he was surprisingly okay with her dating his son, Nova could tell he was still cautious around her, as if she might break at any moment if someone said the wrong thing. “You know how she gets sometimes, and we can’t have her saying too much.” His tone was light, joking. Nova grit her teeth all the same. 
    “Saying too much?” Nova had leaned in closer, pressing her ear against the door when she heard Adrian’s voice. 
    “He means something inappropriate or uncalled for.” She remembered deflating at Simon’s words; she had thought that between Adrian’s parents, Simon was actually warming up to her. Clearly, that wasn’t the case. “She wasn’t exactly raised in a proper environment and doesn’t know proper manners. You know we like Nova, but once she opens her mouth…” 
    This conversation kept going for a few minutes, and with every second that passed, the sour taste on Nova’s tongue got stronger and stronger. Nova and Sketch’s team had an interview with a major television show in a few weeks that Nova was not looking forward to, but was doing it for Adrian’s sake. It would be their first appearance on a larger platform other than newspapers and magazines following the Supernova, and Nova’s first serious interview. Bleh. Hugh and Simon must’ve been referring to the recent news about her; why else would they have a private conversation with their son? She wasn’t so much as annoyed at the fact that they spoke of her like she was a brash child. No, what hurt was the fact that in the few minutes Nova listened to the conversation, not once did she hear Adrian speak up for her. 
    “Well, what did he say when you found out?” Nova jolted her head up, blinking at Ruby as her mind shifted back to the present. 
    Nova shrugged. “I walked into the kitchen and told him I had to go. I was already out the door before he could say anything.” She let out a slow sigh. “I’m just upset that he didn’t even defend me. I don’t give a rat’s ass what Simon or Hugh think of me, but isn’t Adrian supposed to be on my side for things like this?” She truly felt stupid for having this conversation. Silly, even. Her problems weren’t supposed to be about trivial things like this. Never in her nearly seventeen years of life would Nova had thought that she would ever have girl talk with girls her age, either. It was all just ridiculous.  
    “His parents insulting you based on a bias?” Ruby scrunched her nose up. “Yeah. He should’ve said something, but have you considered the possibility that maybe he didn’t get the chance?”
    Nova picked at her cuticles; it was a new bad habit she got herself into when she was stressed. “I listened to their conversation for a good five minutes. Adrian had plenty of time to interrupt them.” 
    The room was silent for a few minutes. Outside the door, Nova could hear Ruby’s brothers horse-playing. She could smell whatever meal her mom was making for dinner. 
“Well, Nova,” Danna reclined back to rest against the wall, “I’ve known Adrian longer than Ruby, but I think we both know that Adrian would never hurt you on purpose or go behind your back. We’ve seen the way he looks at you, and while it makes me gag,” the edges of her lips curled up, “he’s afraid of losing you.”
“What are you saying? That I should just forget about it and move on?” Nova huffed, crossing her arms. 
“At least go talk to him. Explain why you’re hurt. I’m sure he’ll understand.”
Nova wished it were that simple.
__________
    It was Thursday morning, and Nova had yet to take Danna’s advice. She didn’t want to admit it out loud, but she was nervous at the thought of confronting her boyfriend. What if she had overreacted and he now thought she was being irrational? What if she had waited too long and now Adrian didn’t want to see her? 
    She tried to block out her negative thoughts in the Training Hall with Ruby, where she had suggested they work out together that morning. Now, mid morning, they were running laps around the track. Nova was finally beginning to get lost in her element when she noticed two people walking towards them. Oscar and Adrian.
    From beside her, Ruby placed a hand on Nova’s arm and slowed both of them down. She waved at the two boys, a bright smile lighting up her face at the sight of her boyfriend. Nova’s eyes widened, and she pried Ruby’s fingers off of her. 
    “What?” Ruby raised an eyebrow. “I thought you made up with him already.” When Nova shook her head, lips pressed tightly together, Ruby rolled her eyes. “Well, now’s the time to do it. Come on.” With no other way out, Nova let Ruby lead her off the track to meet the boys. Adrian eyed her cautiously, to which she responded with a glare. He averted his gaze immediately, clearly embarrassed, but it didn’t stop him from glancing over her body. She crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly self conscious about the fact that she had discarded her shirt earlier and was now left in only a sports bra and leggings, both drenched in sweat. She looked disgusting to say the least, and it wasn’t how she wanted Adrian seeing her. Not that she cared, of course. 
    Ruby greeted Oscar with a hug, and he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Oh, I completely forgot to mention this.” Ruby turned back to Nova and hit the palm of her hand to her forehead softly. “Oscar and I made plans for brunch today. Do you guys want to join?” 
    Nova plastered a thin smile to her lips, answering for herself and Adrian before he could even open his mouth. “No, thank you. I want to get in a few more miles before leaving. You guys have fun, though.” 
    Ruby narrowed her eyes at Nova, as if she was saying “Really?” but Nova pretended she didn’t see it. She waved goodbye to the two of them and turned around, starting up her jog again. She ran for a good twenty feet before she heard Adrian’s voice from behind her, getting louder. 
    “Nova! Hey, wait up!”
    Groaning, Nova stopped again. She wasn’t going to get out of this, obviously, so she waited for Adrian to catch up to her until she spoke. “What?”
    He flinched at the harsh tone in her voice, the movement so subtle Nova almost missed it. She bit the inside of her cheek. “You haven’t been answering my messages.” It was true; she hadn’t been. He had sent a few since Saturday, but Nova hadn’t bothered checking to see what they said. She had been too frustrated to care about his apologies. 
    “I’ve been busy,” she replied, pursing her lips. “Sorry that I don’t have proper etiquette in communication. It was how I was raised, you know.” 
Adrian squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before opening them back up. “Listen, about Saturday, can you please let me explain?” 
Nova stepped off the track so that she wouldn’t be in the way of other runners. “Explain what? Because from my understanding, you let your dads insult the only family I knew for ten years. No, they weren’t perfect,” she let out a harsh laugh, “but they tried. Honey and Leroy and Winston, at least. Ingrid at times when she was in a good mood.”
“Were you seriously that offended?” Adrian took a step back. “Because they manipulated you, Nova. I understand that Leroy is a better person now, but for the rest of them, well,” he shook his head, “I’m not even going to say anything.”
“Just like on Saturday?” She cocked her head to the side. “I don’t give a shit what your dads think of me, okay, Everhart? I do care about what you think of me, though, and if you see me as some uncontrollable toddler who can’t keep her mouth shut like Hugh does, then why are we even together?” The last bit stung her as much as Adrian. Once the words left her mouth, she instantly regretted them, but it was too late now. So she huffed and looked up at him expectantly. 
Nova noticed how people slowed their stride when they passed by the arguing couple, eager for whatever gossip they could get. No doubt word would get out to the press, and Nova’s mood would sour more. 
“Nova, you know I don’t think of you like that, not even in the slightest.” He reached a hand forward, placing it on her arm. She shrugged it off. 
“Then why,” she asked quietly, looking down, “didn’t you defend me? I sat there for five minutes listening to your dads talk to you, and not once did you speak up. Are you afraid that I’m going to embarrass you in front of the entire world? Because I’m not a perfect little doll and that I come from what many people see as garbage? 
“Of course not!” Adrian cried out, drawing more attention to them. He glanced around before lowering his voice. “No, Nova, you’re right. I...I should’ve said something. I wasn’t comfortable with what they were telling me but I kept my mouth shut anyway. I guess I’m just...trying to stay on their good side? Ever since they found out about the Sentinel, things haven’t been the same around the house. But that’s no excuse. You’re my girlfriend and one of the people I care the most about.”
Nova’s shoulders relaxed, but only slightly. She hadn’t really noticed how things may have changed around the Everhart-Westwood household, but she wouldn’t be surprised if they had.
“I’m sorry, babe,” Adrian murmured, daring to reach out again and pull her closer by her hips. Nerves spiked through her body at the nickname; he had used it a few times before, teasingly, because he knew it annoyed her. What he didn’t know was the effect it had on her, despite her holding a grudge against it.  “I was an idiot.”
Nova’s leg bounced nervously, her eyes not meeting Adrian’s. How could she stay upset with him? She knew he was actually sorry and not just saying it to appease her; that’s just how Adrian was. 
“I accept your apology.” She sighed, placing a hand on his outstretched arm. “I’m sorry too...for overreacting. I just…” She peeked up at him. “Sometimes these articles get to me, you know? They put it in my head that I’m not good enough for you because of who I am and where I came from, and then I have to hear the same things from your dads, and I was hurt that you said nothing. I-I know that I can act without thinking sometimes, and say things that I don’t mean, but I can’t stand other people berating me for it.”
Adrian took both of her hands and laced their fingers together. “Those articles are full of bullshit. Nova, one of the things that I love most about you is that you’re not afraid to speak your mind and you’re not afraid to act on something immediately. Your stubbornness and bold composure make you you.” His lips quirked up. “Not to mention, it’s kind of hot.”
Nova had to laugh at that, her first real smile in days breaking out on her face. “Thank you,” she mumbled. 
“No more secrets anymore, right?” He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Please come to me sooner when I make a mistake so we can talk about it. I can’t stand you being upset with me.” 
“Okay.” Nova nodded, reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck to hug him. “Just as long as you do the same. Going five days without you has sucked ass.”
���It’s a deal.”
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princessselene126 · 4 years
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Hey yall, emotional abuse, physical pain (not self harm, just illness pain), brief mention of periods, and shitty parents tws coming up.
So i generally try to keep my personal life off here unless I won’t be posting for a while and want to let you know why (like i did with my ear infection.), but I’m having a really bad week and a half and desperately need to vent. Feel free to completely ignore this because I don’t expect anyone to respond, I just need to get everything off my chest--although any suggestions as to what the fuck I should do are more than welcome.
My dad and stepmom have been controlling any emotionally abusive for pretty much my entire life--because you know, abuse doesn’t just start randomly and it’s not something that you can easily fix.
Anyway. When I went home for my ear infection, my stepmom got kinda mad about it. Mad might be the wrong word, controlling is probably better. I didnt tell her or my dad that I was coming home to see the doctor for a few reasons:
I knew if I told them, they’d tell me i should tough it out and go to class
They’d say that i was being over dramatic and that it couldn’t possible hurt that bad
They’d ask why I couldn’t have seen a doctor in Milwaukee (where my college is and 1.5 hours from home), why I needed to come home for something like that.
So I didn’t tell them. While I was home my stepmom texted me asking how I was doing. At the time she didn’t know I had an ear infection or that I was home, so of course like the idiot I am, I was honest and told her I came home sunday night. Seriously I think honesty is my fatal flaw. She, of course, asked why and I told her that “I cant think right now, let alone take a bus somewhere I’ve never been before. I tried to get into the dr at school, but they dont have any openings until wednesday.” I was able to get into my doctor at home on monday, two full days before I would have been able too at school, so it seems logical that id go home right? I couldnt hear out of my right ear anyway, so it’s not like I would have been able to pay attention in class and actually learn anything. 
She drops it or that day.
But my stepmom, being my stepmom, of course texts me back a few days later (fthursday or friday i think) because she thinks that I should have tried harder to find a doctor here. She said, and I fucking quote this entire goddamn text 
Hey so I just want to clarify with you ... you could have gone to a dr there you know? You guys didn’t have to come all the way home and back. good lord. Just find a clinic thats an urgent care or er. you might have had to pay more out of pocket, but so what? And you have 2 insuraces, so that wouldve helped more too. Just saying. So I thought I’d let you know instead of doing all that craziness back and forth. Make it easier on yourself next time kiddo.
And this has me fucking livid because:
I literally explained to her why I didn’t find someone in Milwaukee days before. 
She’s insinuating that it’s too inconvenient for my mom to come get me.
And my stepdad had off on tuesday, so he gladly took me back too school. No questions asked. No complaints. He even bought my antibiotics for me (which I was totally prepared to pay the $10 for myself) before we left.
She’s talking down to me as if I had no idea that I could do this.
I can’t afford to pay more out of pocket right now, even if I might (read: MIGHT) get reimbursed for it later.
Going home literally WAS making it easier on myself.
So I send a screenshot of this text to my mom of course, and she replies almost immediately just going off. My mom and I havent always had the best relationship (she has some emotionally abusive habits too, but she knows about most of them, acknowledges them, and tries her best to fix them), but I know that she will always be there for me. She’s that person who will drive an hour and a half just to come make sure someone is okay, and she has done so 2-3 times in my 2 years at college. She doesn’t care if I’m 45 and living on the other side of the country, she will drive or by a plane ticket to hep me if/when need it. So my mom is beyond pissed off that my stepmom would ever imply that coming to get me, take care of me, is an inconvenience.
I reply a simple “i know” to my stepmom, because I know better than to give her a long winded explanation. She’ll just come back at me with an even longer block of text basically telling me how wrong/stupid i was to not just see a dr in the area.
And of course, of fucking course, she replies with a long block of text anyway basically telling me the same fucking thing. She does this several times and I keep doing the “i know” “yeah” “okay” thing because I just didn’t have the fucking ENERGY you guys. 
But then she says 
my goodness you’re a peach sometimes. Just trying to help and maybe you guys didn’t think of that. 
So by this point in time my patience was completely GONE. I have absolutely none left. I know when my stepmom calls me a peach it’s just her “nice” way of saying “you’re being a fucking bitch.” ((Keep in mind this entire time I was taking screenshots and sending them to my mom so she could be mad with me.)) And so I fucking went off in the nicest way possible. I tell her
no, you’re trying to be in control of the situation that had absolutely nothing to do with you
I was going to just try going to a dr the next morning, but then my mom called and I was crying and she asked if I wanted to come home, so I said yes. It wasn’t an inconvenience to her, though it feels like you’re trying to make it seem that way. And [stepdad] had off so he was easily able to take me back.
I’m not an idiot, im an adult fully capable of doing things myself. But i also recognized that I needed help and accepted it when my mom noticed I did as well
Because yes. I was in so much pain that I was actually crying from it. I usually have a decent pain tolerance (horrific period cramps will do that to a person), but for some reason whenever I say that I’m genuinely in pain my stepmom never seems to think it could be “that bad.” And... that’s exactly how that went. I was soooo prepared to just tough it out and wait until Wednesday if I absolutely had to. But then my mom called and I may be 20 years old but there are those times when you’re an adult and you just need your parent. You need your parent to tell you it’s going to be okay. You need your parent to hold and comfort you. You need your parent to take you to the dr. And for me this was one of those times. I so very rarely ask for help but this time i needed it, and there’s no reason for my stepmom (or anyone) to make me feel like I should be ashamed of that.
So she said something brief to that and I didn’t reply back. Ne next moring she sends me another text starting off with something along the lines of “I’m hurt by how you treated me last night...” and I didn’t read the rest because I knew it would make me mad. I did, however send a screenshot to my mom again.
The next day I call both my mom and my paternal grandma to talk about this entire conversation.
My mom thinks that I should cut off ties with them for at least a few months because this has been overwhelming me so much. I agree with her, but I’m concerned about my younger siblings (not that they’ll get hurt or anything, but that I won’t be able to see them) and also my aunt is getting married in may.
And my grandma was livid too. She’s never liked my stepmom because she’s always thought that she’s treated me like shit. (For a long time i mistakenly believed that my stepmom was a better person than my mom, but I was an impressionable child/teenager then). My grandma and I talked about times when stepmom made me feel bad about myself or treated me as lesser than my half siblings. And my grandma agrees that I should keep my distance, but she asked me to not cut ties, and to keep a decent amount of peace, until after my aunt’s wedding.
Which I understand. I get it. I love my aunt a lot and I truly dont want to cause any problems at her wedding, she deserves the world. But at the same time I don’t know how much longer I can take this you guys. I’m supposed to go to a water park for a night with my dad, stepmom, and siblings during my spring break (it was a christmas present from my dad to the family) and I’m absolutely dreading it. I don’t want to go. My mom says I should just lie and say I have to work, but again, fatal flaw here is honesty, so I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that. I want to see my siblings too, but I really need to start taking care of myself.
I’ve spent far too long worrying about my family even after not living at home for the last two years. I need to take care of myself. I do. But I honestly don’t know how to do that without causing a family feud in the process.
And the reason this was all triggered again today (after not having talked to anyone on my dad’s side since saturday) is because I got a call from a random number while I was in class today. It was a call from my home city and whoever it was left a voicemail. In the back of my mind I started worrying that it was my dad and that he wanted to talk me into not being upset with my stepmom (he’s a terrible person too but that’s a rant for a different day).
I have yet to listen to it because the idea of talking about this with him makes me nauseous. At the same time, not knowing who called is making me overwhelmingly anxious. I don’t know what would be best:
Ignoring the voicemail, or listening to it and potentially having to talk to my dad?
Toughing out being around my family until after the wedding, or risk causing a family feud by cutting ties?
I just... I’m so lost you guys.
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Text
Big News
Summary: Sarah and Ava have big news for the groupchat.
WC: ~1.5k
[Other Bekker renamed the chat “HOUSE PARTY”]
Other Bekker: it’s official
Other Bekker: i own a house
Other Bekker: with my WIFE!!!!!!
Bekker: We’re throwing a housewarming party and everyone’s invited!
Dr. Lanik: What’s the dress code
Other Bekker: casual if you wear a suit ill kill you
Ethan Choi: When? 
Bekker: We were thinking it would start at around six or seven? It would mean a lot to us if Crockett could make it.
FreeWilly: Will there be alcohol?
Other Bekker: some of us are sober. No
no-ah: I’m in
Maggie<3: Wait who’s sober other than Crockett?
Dr. Lanik: Me
Other Bekker: me
connor: @OtherBekker there was an open bar at your wedding
Bekker: Circumstances change
Ethan Choi: This is such a fun conversation. Let’s not have it.
April: So back to the party… details!
Other Bekker: ill send the address in a bit but its gonna be potluck style. Everybody brings food. itll be pretty casual so dont be that asshole (@Dr.Lanik). starting at six ish and ending at maybe 10 or 11 depending on how tired we all are
Ethan Choi: Crockett’s program usually ends at like 5:30 so we might be a little late?
Other Bekker: ok sounds good. how is he btw
Ethan Choi: Pretty well. He’s outpatient for another few weeks and then his doctors are going to discuss long term options. Hopefully he’ll be back at work soon, too
April: Tell him we’re proud of him?
Ethan Choi: As soon as I pick him up tonight.
-
Sarah: are we telling them tonight?
Wifey: I was thinking so, yes. I mean, we have our house, and the paperwork went through.
Sarah: im so excited
Wifey: Me too, honey
-
Nat: Not to alarm anybody but whoever’s in charge of Connor right now, come to treatment 4
FreeWilly: love the implication that we take turns babysitting him
Dr. Lanik: We kind of do. I think it’s Maggie’s turn.
Maggie<3: I’m not at work. Who’s next in line?
April: @QueenElsa
Queen Elsa: Fine
connor: im a big boy i can take care of myself
Nat: You literally have a concussion
Ethan Choi: Why?
Nat: He fainted after a surgery. His sugar is low on the finger prick and he said he hasn’t had any water since his shift started
Dr. Lanik: @connor We’ve talked about this
connor: ok boomer
Dr. Lanik: @connor Stop calling me a boomer! We’re the same age!
connor: ok
connor: boomer
Bekker: Can you grow up @connor
connor: no
Queen Elsa: Update for everyone, Connor is getting a CT. He’s eating a Snickers bar right now and we’re pushing fluids
FreeWilly: youre not you when youre hungry
Dr. Lanik: @Bekker @OtherBekker What day will your housewarming party be? My daughter’s birthday is Friday.
Maggie<3: IM SORRY YOUR WHAT
Other Bekker: ?????
Bekker: We were thinking Saturday.
April: @FreeWilly Did you know about this???????
FreeWilly: uh yeah?
no-ah: Why did none of us know you had a daughter?
Dr. Lanik: I just don’t see how it’s any of your business.
Nat: How old is she? Who’s her mother? What school does she go to? How did we go this long without knowing?
[Dr. Lanik has sent an image to the chat]
Dr. Lanik: This is Emma, she’s almost eleven, and this is the most information any of you will ever be getting about her.
Ethan Choi: Well this has been a wild ride
Other Bekker: now taking bets on how crockett will react. $10 says he thinks its a joke
no-ah: Coward. He knows everything. $20 says he already knew.
Other Bekker: youre on
Queen Elsa: ...Anyways, Connor’s CT came back alright. It’s a minor concussion; he’ll be fine soon. 
Maggie<3: That’s good
Dr. Lanik: @FreeWilly and I will look after him.
Ethan Choi: Just picked up Crockett, he says hi. He also has letters for each of you as part of his process
Nat: That’s sweet
Ethan Choi: I have been assured none of them contain nudes
Other Bekker: thank g-d
Ethan Choi: I’ll be giving them to you all at work.
Ethan Choi: Crockett will be cooking something I won’t even try to pronounce for the housewarming party
Other Bekker: his cooking is all so good...
no-ah: It slaps
Queen Elsa: Is it that pasta thing??? With the crawfish????
Ethan Choi: Honestly, I don’t know.
Nat: Owen and I are bringing cookies.
Bekker: Important question, @Dr.Lanik… will Emma be coming?
Dr. Lanik: No. I don’t want her near any of you.
connor: hes got a point
Maggie<3: Have you never, in your life, had to bring her to a doctor?
Dr. Lanik: We use East Mercy so that you all keep your noses out of my life.
FreeWilly: ouch
April: I mean, if I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want any of you near her either.
Nat: Harsh, I trust you with my son
April: You’re different.
Bekker: Do I hear wedding bells?
Nat: @April What if we kissed in the doctor’s lounge… and we’re both girls?
Nat: Haha just kidding
Nat: Unless…?
April: Did you just hit on me with a meme
Nat: Did it work?
Other Bekker: another win for the gaydies
Other Bekker: THEY BOTH JUST WENT INTO THE DOCTORS LOUNGE JHGFKHFRH
Ethan Choi: Crockett laughed 
connor: do you read these messages to him?
Ethan Choi: Sometimes. He likes to be in the loop.
FreeWilly: hot take but. we could just add him back to the chat?
Ethan Choi: He’s not ready for that yet, but he does like to be updated on your lives and one-on-one texting is stressful for him
Other Bekker: we spend more time talking about crockett now than we did when he was in the chat
no-ah: Sweet I have my Crockett letter
Ethan Choi: I'll put them in your lockers. My shift is starting so I'm turning my phone to silent. 
Other Bekker: Crockett Time
Bekker: Did he write me one?
Other Bekker: @Bekker both mine and yours are in my locker i think. one is for "blonde bekker" and one is for "brunette bekker"
no-ah: That's what he has your contacts saved as 
Queen Elsa: Mine is just a smiley face sticker in an envelope?
Other Bekker: jsyk we should probably keep these private! this is important to him
Maggie<3: I'm so excited to see him again on Saturday, I've missed him.
FreeWilly: He's been busy. I think his program is like eight to five every day but Sunday
Nat: What's that even like?
Other Bekker: they have an in house aa group that meets a few times a day and theres a ton of other support like therapy to get to the root of the problem. i mean before he got sober the first time he was self medicating 
Other Bekker: he does a lot of art therapy i think. when he was inpatient he kept mailing paintings to my wife and i 
-
Curry (Not Dr.): Hey, it's Elsa Curry from Med. Sarah gave me your number. I was just wondering why you gave me a sticker?
Crockett: dont u put them on the inside of your binder? the one u put ur case notes in at the end of ur shift 
Curry (Not Dr.): How did you know that?
Crockett: u pull ur binder out when ur stressed to reference old cases. i thot u might like another sticker so u know ur not in this alone
Crockett: :)
-
[crickett has renamed the chat "dick bros"]
crickett: @connor do u wanna fuck again this weekend lmao
connor: ???
connor: i thought that was a one time thing
Ethan Choi: It doesn't have to be. 
-
Maggie<3: @Bekker @OtherBekker Sorry I'm running a little behind! I couldn't find my keys
Bekker: No harm, no foul!
[Bekker has sent an image to the chat]
Bekker: Definitely hurry, we're having so much fun!
-
Crockett: baby
HUBBY: I'm sitting right beside you.
Crockett: ik but im feeling kinda overwhelmed 
HUBBY: Do you want to go home?
Crockett: i think i just need air will you cover for me if someone comes looking
-
Other Bekker: THANK YOU @Maggie<3 FOR ACTUALLY HELPING CLEAN UP 
FreeWilly: sorry!
connor: sorry ahhhhhh i didnt think about it 
Nat: Congrats again, you two, this is huge!
April: ^^
no-ah: Will we get to meet her, or will she be a secret like Laniks daughter?
Bekker: You'll all definitely get to meet her, but let's not do so much at once? Adjusting to a new home is hard, and from what the adoption agency tells us, she's had a rough go of it.
no-ah: Of course! 
Queen Elsa: No little girl could have a better home! Congratulations on your daughter and I wish you really good luck. If you ever need help, we're all here!
Dr. Lanik: She's about eight, right?
Bekker: Yes
Dr. Lanik: If she needs help adjusting, let me know, and maybe Emma and I can help. She was about that age when I adopted her.
connor: the Lanik lore we are getting today omg
Dr. Lanik: You'll both be great parents, and @OtherBekker don't hesitate to let me know if you need extra time off. This is a big deal and you shouldn't have to stress about work when you should be worrying about your family. @Bekker I'll also ask Dr. Latham to be lenient with you as well.
Other Bekker: thank you from both of us <3
connor: who knew lanik had a heart. 
23 notes · View notes
willieowinsbury · 5 years
Text
i’ve decided to rank hozier songs because i can and i feel like it
22. sedated: this song is solid, but sort of plain. makes you nod your head along but no dancing or mouthing along. it sort of feels like an amalgam of every hozier song. doesn’t slap. its the c- of hozier songs
21. someone new: cute, but sort of like a middle song in a wedding. nobody really talks about it for a reason. makes you smile, but not very catchy
20. run: its haunting, but not a cool kind of haunting, more just gives you the creeps. the chorus is pretty good though, and the lyrics seem like something you’d hear in poetry, so it’s better than the other two
19. moment’s silence (common tongue): this is the first song on this list that is legitimately catchy. its a song you turn up on the radio, but not by much. its fun, its bluesy, got some catholic imagery. its good, but its not “wow!” good. c maybe c+
18. better love: this was written in a month, and it feels rushed. a bit too fast, and if hozier had more time, im convinced he would have slowed it down. its the first powerful, devotional, love song on the list. i’ve heard people don’t like the drums, but im convinced its the extra singers and violin in the background. im always a violin advocate, but you’ve gotta pick like two instruments andrew. its crowded, but its got that power so its higher than say, sedated
17. from eden: i know everybody loves this, and i agree its pretty good, but i think the song could’ve used some more haunting parts? way extra points for the bridge after the third verse, thats super cool. i’d give it a b
16. nfwmb: i legitimately really like this song. it hits all the points, haunting, devotional love, necromancy, comparing your partner to nature, low bass. its a great low and sort of dirty song that could have used some higher string instruments. theres nothing wrong with this song in particular, i just like the others better. again, a b
15. movement: idk how y’all feel about this one, its his newest, but its one of his building songs. the atmosphere is different, and the lyrics are sub-par for hozier, but something about it just goes so hard. b+
14. take me to church: this was his first hit, and we’re all tired of it by now, but giving it a listen again, if not for the overplayedness, it would be more like a 6 or 5, not 14. a solid jam. gets bumped over movement for pagan imagery
13. jackie and wilson: someone new if it slapped. super relatable and arguably more lesbian than from eden, which i will argue. i mean, seeing a woman across the bar and immediately imagining your future kids and house? and getting so caught up in it you don’t notice when she leaves? big dyke mood, also super fun and catchy. feels like spring cottage cleaning watching cartoons on a saturday morning. b+
12. arsonists lullaby: this song starts of as innocuous and gets darker. really feel the fire and brimstone and rage and power of idk. mental illness? pyromancy? anyway it makes you want to dance naked around the bonfire, like in that scene at the end of the witch. one of the few powerful dark hozier songs with a snare drum beat, our first a-
11. shrike: its bittersweet ending of a relationship, and he conveys the pain and love perfectly, and the irish accent is the best. feels like a song at the end of a movie when two people who maybe could have made it break up, and maybe one dies in a war or something. its beautiful and lonely, and vocals are really great on this one
10: angel of small death and codeine scene: this song sorta feels like the folk/blues version of an answering song to dangerous woman by ari. mood is loving a woman who’s bad for you but you just can’t help yourself. the guitar isn’t my favorite instrument, but i really like it here. would be very energetic and rockin at a concert, love
9: nina cried power: i love this one, and its powerful and full and angry and sad, but there’s something fundamentally hozier missing from this one. i love it, but it doesn’t give me that fantasy inducing feeling, which might be an artistic choice. either way, a-
8. in the woods somewhere: the haunting, soulful, fever-esque, version of run. its the mind of someone whos going mad, in the woods. its a top tier hozier song. the clapping that you don’t really notice until you are only paying attention to the song adds to the maddening atmosphere, as well as the low and slow bass. the harmony in the bridge is keening, and this is one of the first songs that really screams hozier for me
7. cherry wine: bringing back the bittersweet love aspect again that he seems to capture so well, hozier uses such beautiful imagery in this song, you feel as if you’re in a cottage, doing ballet barefoot at dawn on dusty wooden floors, doing housework. its desperate in a way no other hozier song has lived up to. its keeping up appearances, stroking a baby bird oh so carefully, grazing your fingers over unused fiddle strings. it’s sad, and bitter, and so full of love. the first a
6. it will come back: the heavy drum and guitar are reminiscent of classic rock, but slows down so quickly at points it leaves you delerious and determined. it’s a stubborn song, it sneaks up on you on how much you love it. its toeing some sort of line. its falling in love with a monster
5. like real people do: it’s loving each other knowing you aren’t going to last, secrets that you don’t want to know, wanting enough time as possible before you have to leave. its beautiful and sad, and the harmony adds so much, and the beat is slightly like a heartbeat, steady, and there, but so quiet you barely notice. makes you smile sadly, a rare occurrence
4. in a week: something about this one is so sad and it reminds you of the place you were born. or maybe thats just me, i was born in iowa. its the same message from like real people do with a twist. you don’t have much time to love someone. it builds and builds and builds and is a tangle of messes and complications, and suddenly is so so simple. its longing, its wishing you had more time, its the last kiss in a battle in slow motion. bared necks and prarie grass, this song is about dying in the place you were made. the simple beat and melody give this song exactly what it needs to thrive. a
3. foreigner’s god: this is precisely the opposite of in a week, about dying in a place you were not born. about not knowing who you are anymore, about pleading with god, any god to spare you, let you go home. the fast beat in the chorus isn’t chaotic, but angry and sad and begging. its grief in every form, guarded and raw, hozier makes you examine your choices with this one. the beat is pounding in a subtle way, and it goes so hard
2. to be alone: this is big top energy. smoky bars and big boots, and slightly western? it’s tantalizing, crawling out of your own skin, and pure want. it’s slow and yet loud in a good way. it’s hard to explain why i like this song, but it feels like a storm in your bones
1. work song: this one is actually my favorite song of all time. its got so much longing, and stubbornness, and hunger, and love. this is the devotion we all love from hozier, the power and the darkened eyes. this is the epitome of hozier, and it feels like your soul and i just can’t articulate with words what this song feels like, it would be five pages long, this is the %100, this is the a+. this song brings everything hozier has ever made you feel to the table, and makes you feel it harder
45 notes · View notes
huangfilms · 6 years
Text
Florist!Donghyuck
summary: hi i really hate this person and i saw your sign that you make personal bouquets and i would like you to make one where it gives the message of how much i hate them if it isn’t too much to ask for 
requested by: a lovely anon!! thanks love❤️
(A/N) ajsdhgf okay so She Is Here!!! i don’t know what i wrote!! i always never know what i write cause when i write sometimes i just black out and suddenly its finished but i hope this is what you wanted you lovely anon!!! thank you for requesting <333
okay so you just recently went through a break up
that fool was the biggest asshole ever and you don’t even know w hy
so you broke up with them !!! good for u sis !! 
honestly they cheated on u with a close friend of yours and you just,,, didn’t care anymore
well you didnt care That Much Anymore
u still care to the point where u are 2day
and thats going to a florist to passive aggressively say how much u hate them in flowers
i mean u saw a sign that says ‘we make personalized bouquets!!’ so u hope they can just do this For You
so you walk in a lil angry 
and you have This Mad Face and the florist currently working thinks its the cutest thing
the florist is donghyuck
and he just sees you fuming and you look?? like a lil baby munchkin so adorable omg
and so hes just waiting for you to say something And Eventually You Do Say Something
he didnt expect this rant to come out of ur mouth
‘my s/o just cheated on me like a week ago and Yes i am still mad about it and i saw your sign about making personalized bouquets and i just wanted to ask if you can make the most Passive Aggressive bouquet so i can tell them that i hate them without actually telling them i hate them??’
and you say more but at the end of your little rant donghyuck is just trying to hold in his laughter because youre so adorable omg
and hes all like,, ‘sure sweets,,, also,,,,,,, do u need to talk about it? i can have it done by the end of the day and i could use sum company since ill b the only one on duty’
and u get shocked cause LMAOOO this cute ass florist really b out here! making ur heart beat fast! just by asking u to keep him company!
___ don’t fall for the first person to b nice to you since ur break up challenge [FAILED]
so ur like,,, ive got no plans so sure
and you just hang around and look through all of the flowers
and while youre looking around youre just asking him what each flower means
and some beautiful flowers have the most unpleasant meanings LMAOOO
and hyuck is just living for this cause you are just so adorable lkdfjha
it becomes like 5 PM so suddenly and you needa go home cause yo mama will b wondering where u been for the last few hours LMAO
so you tell him that hey,,, you gotta leave but youll come back tomorrow to pick up the flowers!!!
‘it was nice meeting you donghyuck ! im y/n’
and u see him melt from u saying his name
its the cutest sight omg
and so you just leave and hyuck is just in awe because wow ! youre adorable t h e
so he just spends the rest of his time making the bouquet of hatred
its not that much time, he closes the store at 7 since hes got a lot of stuff to do like hw since hes in his last year of highschool
but anywho
you come back the next day bright and early on saturday
and hyuck is there bright and early
and you just greet him with a big smile and then u remember why ur there and ur smile is g o ne 
so you asking him if the bouquet is done and how much it is and all that jazz
and he says that ur total comes out to an even $11 so u give him exact change and then u ask what kinda flowers he included
so he goes into detail about each of them (i know nothing of flowers just the most basic info like red roses mean a deep love or whatever LMAO)
then at the end of his explanation you just evilly grin and ask him to write on a card very nicely of the names of each flower he included
he does just that and then he gives you a big smile ! the actual sun? yes.
and you tip him some money and then you wave him goodbye! and then the actual sun is not shining anymore cause you left
when you give your ex s/o the bouquet, you tell them ‘here, search each flower that was written on this card and find out their meanings, have a nice life.’
and you just leave cause!! wooo frick them! u r free !
then u miss donghyuck even tho u met him like yesterday
smh
like he was real witty and funny when u guys talked
u just go home nd ur all like ‘SIGH’ and ur mom is just wondering if your okay LMAOO
but the next day u plan on seeing him just cause
but to make it not loo k like ur just trying to see him,,, u buy a SINGLE flower
when hyuck sees u walk in the shop he Lights Up omghhshs
The Actual Sun Im Telling You
‘hey hyuck!! how r u!!’ and he MELTS
YOURE SO DJSJJD AADORABLEKFJS
well anyway you guys chat for a while and you decide youre going to buy a carnation or something
‘just a single flower?’ and he shyly grins at u
you turn the cutest shade of pink abby uwus her way thru this headconnon pt three
then he chuckles a lil and you laugh a bit with him
while hes totaling up your single flower, you chat with him some more
‘here’s your flower, have a nice day!’ and he smiles His Smile u all know what im talking about
and youre Sad Again
this continues for weeks
you buying ONE flower, him being the sun, u guys pining talking
you guys get to know each other more and more over the weeks go by
and suddenly you have these???feelings??? for the sun??? yes.
but of course you dont Say Anything cause he might not like u like that and u would still like to talk to him even if its just as friends
but sis,,,, u have No Idea that donghyuck has been Pining Over You Since Forever
cause sometimes you ask him to pick your single flower for the day and its him confessing his feelings through flowers but you dont need to know that
the Cutest Shit I Know
but then he just sighs when you leave and he feels the hurt of unrequited love
hyuck bub,,, chill out sweetie
IF YALL WOULD JUST OPEN UR FUCKIN EARS THEN YALL WOULD BE TOGETHER BUT I MEAN I G U E S S
literally everyone is rooting for you guys,,,, i cant--
everyone sees The Eyes whenever you guys look at each other, but the other isnt looking at you
sometimes hyuck even turns Red just by looking at you, like you dont even catch him or anything he just turns red
but hyuck is just like,,,,, hnnngg maybe they like me,,,,,,,,, so he picks out an aster and tells u to search up the meaning for this one this time
(its a symbol of love/daintiness) 
and when u do your heart absolutely Soars
because!! he likes you too!!! what !!!
when you come back the next day you just find him and pull him into a hug and say ‘i like you too’ and hyuck turns pink and its dshalkadorablejdf
and so he asks you out on a date and its cute cause you say yes!
the day of the date he takes you to a flower field and he picks small flowers and sticks them in both your hair and his
ITS ! SO ! CUTE !
and many dates later hyuck finally asks you to be his! and u! yell ! yes!
saldkjhflakjsdh
OKAY BUT hycuk finding the most beautiful flowers to give you
like a red or white camellia !! (red means: youre a flame in my heart, white means: youre adorable!!)
and he just tells you the meanings cause you deserve to know and he wants u to hear it from him
ONE DAY HE GIVES YOU A BOUQUET OF DAISYS ! (innocence ! loyal love !) and hyuck is always shy when telling you the meanings
few months into your relationship, he gives you a red chrysanthemum,,,,, sister !
and you understand this one because you are IN LOVE with these flowers because they mean--
‘I love you.’
you then look up with a few tears in your eyes and you say--
‘i love you too, hyuck’ and you give him the biggest hug ever!!!
everything is soft everything is cute
im always soft whats new queens
but anyway!!! end!! hyuck as a florist would be so cute??? but him as ur bf AND a florist??? EVEN CUTER!
so! end!!! hyuck deserves the whole world omg
Masterlist
126 notes · View notes
Text
Suspiria remake review from a shitty movie-goer
(this review is posted too late so excuse me for some timing inaccuracies I couldn’t be arsed to edit)
(IF YOU HATE TL;DRS JUST SKIP AHEAD TO THE “THE REVIEW” PART. YOU’RE WELCOME)
I actually hate to admit why was I interested to watch this movie in the end, but for once SOMETHING motivated me to go to a movie after countless tries from my family to get me to watch something in theatres at a “reasonable time” (daytime is what they mean, this movie was at 8pm our time, and this is when the cross-city bus transport (it goes from one big city to another) stops doing their service lmao).
I myself have a lowkey interest in moviemaking (I’m already getting there by editing my phone-recorded videos because whatever). I come up with my concepts in my head and I am mostly willing to put them down somewhere in my computer so I don’t forget it years later if I want to make that concept a thing in the end (because none of my concepts are finalized... well except for one short horror-ish story I posted on DeviantArt (see mom, I do like some horror stuff!). Reddit as of lately inspired me to edit some of my movie’s plot-lines based on irl events (not related with anything too SJW), and I’m not sure how an usual movie-goer would see this concept but I am going to try to execute it... whenever I have enough equipment to shoot my own little films or skits or whatever.
What’s that? There are people who scrolled past this and already yell at me that “YOU ONLY WENT TO SEE THIS MOVIE BECAUSE OF THE MAN WHO COMPOSED THE SOUNDTRACK~~~”? Ugh yes you exposed me, tea all over. I even had “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” on a bit of a repeat as of lately (how fucking come I wasn’t too couragerous to listen to this song before?? And “Pyramid Song”??? Man am I discovering their pearl(ie)s(*) too late). And I’m occasionally on the band’s subreddit as well. And the man himself is touring ‘round the USA, signing material of fans and have genuinely warm chats with them. Admireable.
But that’s only half truth.
I never thought I’d see Suspiria on cinema theatres in here. Until one time when I saw an ad on a completely random Lithuanian website that said this movie is coming to our theatres 14 December... I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I made my goal to see Suspiria since then. I even dared to ask a couple of my new college ‘friends’ to see it with me, but one of them fell off the deal when I revealed that I’ll be going to see it on Saturday, and on the weekends he’s usually at home, far away from the city the college is in (he lives in college dormitory on mostly the work-weekdays). So my only movie companion ended up to be this 28-year-old coursemate (actually we both study different things but sometimes we attend some of the same lectures) who was intrigued by the Suspiria trailer herself so at least I’m gonna have her by my side of the movie, so I thought. Sweet.
I already envisioned seeing this in a mall cinema theatre but my companion offered me a cheaper alternative - her suggested cinema theatre was actually in renovation so the business is temporarily happening inside an actual drama theatre’s long theatre hall. I had to wait long until the ticket box opened and because of that I was lowkey frustrated as I finished my English test writing a little earlier, so I spent my time walking around the city until the time came and I wandered off to the old building of the cinema so then I remembered it was moved and I found the moved place. Yeah I bought the tickets before my companion could but I’ll skip ahead to the time that I almost lost the tickets because they were put down on a windowsill outside some children activity centre (Suspiria and children?? lol). I came back home late at night and was ready for the movie to happen the next day. Oh and before buying the tickets I coincidentally saw dance classes going on nearby that building... weird, as Suspiria has dance elements in there
The day came (December 15) and my family went together with me because they saw this as an opportunity to see the Christmas tree of our city (but not the movie). Needless to say, they were still visibly pissed at me orchestrating this idea, as I planned everything BUT the transport to go by. Well at least my mom and my sis. Dad was cool with it as he returned home to watch Home Alone. Aside all that, the cinema hall was cozy, Christmassy, not too small, there were a few trailers before the movie, no snack-seller places (as this is not a mall lol) - my companion was glad she wasn't at the mall as she found this place where we were at way lovelier.
Now with all that unnecessary long intro off my chest, let’s begin:
THE REVIEW
(definitely not spoiler-free, if you are sensitive to spoilers please watch the movie for yourselves before reading my review. But if you like being spoiled, I’m your friend then I guess lmao)
The intro to the movie felt like I ended up booking a wrong movie - I didn't expect that to be set somewhere in Germany, especially an American/Italian-shot one. Was that a thing in the original Suspiria? I don't know... (apparently it is, but the cities are different, never the country though)
Patricia (I didn’t know it was Chloë Grace’s role until reading the Wiki) looked like to be a really big deal here, with the dance pupils discussing her disappearance the other day and Susie overheard them, then Sara mentioned the Patricia thing to Susie after Susie revealed she was kind of chosen as the lead dancer for the Volk play... is it because Patricia was THE saviour that unfortunately knew a little too much?? Idk, it’s perhaps the reason we get to see the Klemperer guy subplot happen (I didn’t know it was Tilda Swinton behind him all the time either, must be because the way the male German accent was put on her lol). Turned out she was captured and kept under some dungeon where Sara had gone later in the movie, but looking like an almost melted and grotesquely old human being (or if Mary’s mother from “Chocolate with Nuts” was a person). Speaking of which, there is one more later in the movie, but I won’t tell just yet - we will need to get into such scenes discussion first.
Interesting deaths here, despite of them being grotesque and horrifically detailed. It almost felt like Susie, whilst doing her first dance as the probable lead dancer, temporarily turned into Olga’s voodoo doll or a violent bloodbender (that old lady from Avatar that could bloodbend was incredibly uncanny, damn) and left Olga completely fucked up, and the foam mouth later on... is this the effect myxomatosis has on a human being if it was ever humanly? She was twitching and salivating afterall. :P But no, she’s not dead until she gets to plead her death later in the movie! :O Several others occur throughout, but none is more prominent than this key scene I described, well at least according to TV Tropes.
The search for the evil person in this movie without Wiki helping me much was definitely a nice game for me to play. I kept thinking that Blanc might be that one, then I thought she’s not the one until she looked at Carolina (I think that was the tall tomboy’s name??) suspiciously and then she later passed out on the floor violently, with rabies foam and everything.
Anyway, don’t tell me Tilda Swinton wouldn’t make out a pretty good Thom Yorke post-Pablo Honey. She’s 8 years older than him, ffs! Also played a man before (e.g.: this movie I’m talking about) so the make up won’t be an unjumpable-over hurdle.
The sighs were for sure unsettling, especially because they oddly sounded like orgasm here and there. IDK why. I know fucking is referenced twice in this movie (well only fucking once and sex another time). Speaking of random things, the nightmare shots were completely random themselves, following up with some imagery we never see in the movie again, and some of that we see only a little (like the worms and bloody organs).
3 long scenes that were note-worthy for me. One is the Olga mutilation/Susie's first dancing scene that I already noted, and it was driven by music (the others will be too. Soundtrack of this movie still rules). Then there's the Volk play itself - girls go from one place to another, take poses of each other, dance individually, let their minimalistic red rope dresses flick in the air, interspersed with Sara in the underneath area and her broken leg (so broken, the bone went out of her skin!), and then the matriarchy getting her back on stage, but healing her leg with her witch powers before that. I haven't really listened to the rest of the soundtrack but I gotta check the song out so that I won't end up labeling it as a Kid A reject. No but seriously - intense dancing needed some intense drumming and painful instrument sounds just to project out the massiveness of the whole play.
Then I keep remembering the scene where Madame Blanc commands Susie to jump higher and higher in the mirror hall, up until she jumps as highest as possible. Also my companion’s favourite scene was the stare exchange between these two ladies during the part where people were singing some drinking song in a bar to celebrate ‘Volk’’s success - you hear them singing and then some chilling background noise slowly mixing and creeping its way into the atmosphere, then I think it leads into a scene where some sparkling aura entity wakes Susie up (and she’s nude) in the middle of the night and gets her to go down to this... dungeon orgy full of random stuff going on, complete with an Asian man doing something beyond explanation (I could say lewd but not quite), even more strange ritual dancing and the very much frightening Madame Helga... who looked like Jabba the Hutt for some reason. And then of course everyone slitting, slashing and twisting each other, and by the end Susie throwing us all a plot twist which makes her THE evil one who can finally let her ‘friends’ go of all that suffering they have been through thanks to the damn witches (and yeah apparently her dance friends haven’t completely died? THAT’S how they do - they tell Susie to end their suffering and she does). Also she cracks her chest open to reveal a... very graphic part of a female body that will by no doubt get this whole text review reported without consent so I refrain from any illustrations. Oh and this scene mostly has the possibly favourite this movie’s soundtrack song of mine, if not one of them, play - titled Unmade. It was a mind-boggling decision to do so but the movie editors do them I suppose, but still. I felt sad for the song having to be the background of such absurd but fair enough events? (Oh and I didn’t mention that everyone who voted for the other woman than Madame Blanc to be the leader of the witches (iirc) were rid of in this movie. Damn.)
Oh and the ending is rather an interesting detail, not talking about post-credits because as always I have to be this one movie goer who wants to do it but can’t because they’re urged to go back out of the movie theater. We turn into modern day Germany with a love heart carved on a brick wall with the letters A and L (perhaps?? at the time of finishing this review my memory towards it kind of erased some parts of the movie for me), a nice little remembrance of Lutz’s (the old man’s) love for his dear Anke, with which they have reunited during the movie, but Lutz was dragged out by some people related to the dance academy for probably wandering elsewhere than needed and somehow Lutz ended up as one of the sex dungeon victims, stripped of clothing and lying down quite powerless. That and before the modern day shot we are subjected with Lutz in hospital with Susie coming to visit, they discuss something related to the plot, Susie touches the guy speaks some more, leaves and according to the Wiki, Lutz “suffers from a violent seizure” that was nothing more than just a hard seizure. And it even erases his memories!
Anyway, as a whole, I felt more underwhelmed of this movie’s experience despite really wanting to see it. Like, “uhm yeah gore blood people getting slashed everyone’s a witch and everyone’s watched over by the witch and if you expose the witches you die” kind of underwhelmed. I didn’t want this movie to blatantly go through my head, but it did, that’s why I wanted to make notes everytime something notable happens. There was one startling moment, and it just was an innocent scene transition. And something within Olga’s mutilation scene made me chuckle (and made some other people leave the cinema hall ASAP). It’s more of a disgusting watch than scary. Also feels too dragged out in parts.
I’d only recommend it if you are gore-tolerant (there are people that can’t stand looking at blood so this might as well not be for you, especially if you’re younger than 16), like intense choreos that can impact other people literally, and... the soundtrack. Yes of course. If you dare to get through the movie with feeling its soundtrack, sometimes you might as well feel it right, but some of the soundtrack song usages might as well make you go “hmm” as much as me.
I'll remind myself to never watch a movie in theaters for soundtrack again (unless they're not THAT late). And the other 'trilogy of the three witches' movie remakes, especially if they come out at the time I haven't moved houses by now, because for sure as hell will my parents not like me going to cinema late once more. The movie is lowkey 7 out of 10 for me, can sometimes it's on the verge of falling down to 6 becaude of no completely proper comprehension of some directing choices... so 6.7/10 is good - as it still has 6 in it, but totally leans on to the 7.
Will probably watch it again. I need to remember some more of this movie sometime later. And looking for online uploads of this movie is unrecommendable - I'll wait until Lionsgate distributes it to America for wider audiences so that anything could surface 2 months (or even a few days) later from now. Though if I didn't need all that, I'd definitely not watch it again for a long time... unfortunately I want to.
Post movie feelings: my companion liked the movie, initially said to never watch it again but now wants to watch it again because it was so "wtf" she felt like re-experiencing it at some point. She liked the music (another bonus point for Yorke). She wished she could film the reactions of other people who watched this, as they mostly were confused, all being like "wtf did I just watch???". I'm already feeling bad for the 3rd companion who didn't join us but would also like to watch this - he’ll likely be one of those confused movie-goers.
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crystalmaezing · 5 years
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My wavemate, My crush pt. 1
“It started on our first day of work”
I’ve always been a  hopeless romantic ever since i had a crush back in my elementary days. Whenever i have a crush, i am always trying hard to let them know that i have a crush on them by looking at them always. I am swinging both ways, i tend to like boys and lesbians or bisexual girls (my mom do know that i had a crush on lesbians back then).
So going back to the present, I was hired in this company where my college friends are working, they told me to go there because i just resigned on my previous company which is a BPO as well. During our first day of work, i had my eyes on this someone which until now i still have a crush. She’s a lesbian.
At first i was actually a bit hesitant because it might be just a crush at first sight but the feelings went deeper than i expected. I was planning to forget about here until one day (December 16 to be exact), she actually pmed me on messenger saying that she wants to talk to me via call which is absurd. We never talked in person since i am awkward at her, just her in our wave.
At first, i actually told her that i don’t have any earphone working so i cant talk to her via call, just so you know, i hate talking on phone not using earphones, it sucks. But she keep on insisting that it’ll just take a few minutes. So i decided to allow her even if i don’t have earphones with me.
During the first topic of our call, she asked me where i was staying and such thing. The conversation goes like this (well not all is accurate though because that was like a few weeks ago)
Her: Where do you go home?
Me: *gives the train station that i always drop to*
Her: Where exactly is that, i didn’t know there is such station.
Me: *insists that it exist*
Her: Who are you with right now?
Me: My dad, my mom went to province.
Her: Tell your dad to drink medicine for cough (because she heard my dad coughing on the background)
And it goes on. She kept on asking me who is my crush and i replied to her jokingly “you”. At first she just laugh so i thought that i’ll just tell it to her jokingly even if it’s the truth.Sadly, someone arrives at home that i needed to hang up our call. Our call ended after 14 minutes. That Saturday, the day i decided to forget about her and decided to still have a crush on her right after our call. Even her laugh that night still lingers in my ears.
Monday came, I went to work and saw her. Just like the same old days, we didn’t talked to each other. It was weird because i thought she will talk to me because we sound so close to me that night. I awkwardly talked to her because she is quite close to one of my friend. She told me that she’s very drunk that night and she didn’t remember what we talked about.
That hit me like a lightning.
To me it was very meaningful but to her, it’s just a thing that she did while she’s drunk.
By the way, she have a crush at one of our wavemates, at first i thought it was me though, i’m such a hopeless romantic, i know. Because there are things that made me point at my fingers.
First, when i was busy writing the late on our wavemates. I heard her saying that her crush is busy, it turned out that i am busy and her real crush is busy talking to someone on phone. Another thing is when we’re on our way to the terminal, my friend asked her who her crush is and she said “I’m not gonna tell, she might be here”. Third one is i’m the only one she doesn’t talk much with. I know, i expected so much, i got disappointed big time.
Okay going back....Days passed by, we only talk on messenger like we’re really close but not talking personally in our office. We tend to have deep talks and such.
One time, i told her that my real crush is her because she kept on insisting. She keeps on commenting on my repost about my crush so i decided to tell her.
One time on December 18, we and some of my wavemates are having fun and then she suddenly called me and told me that someone is having a crush on me, i disregarded it.
Since i am used to us talking on messenger, i kept on waiting for her reply and decided to fake that i accidentally clicked the like button and she replied. We even talked about her family and mine. We have a lot of things that we talked about.
There was one time that she told me that she’s living alone and her mom lives at the province, i pitied her so i decided to cook something and bring more for her. I even jokingly told her that i’ll put some love potions on it and she said “Sure”. I gave her the food because she is eating with her crush. After that day, i bring more food so i can share with her. We ate together that day because her crush isn’t there.
I even saw her posting on myday a photo of her and her crush (now the girlfriend) and with a heart. Same with her girlfriend she posted one, it made me jealous one time big time.
December 23, i decided to get my hair done and i changed the color into red, i decided to do it to move on from her.
December 24, we have a morning shift so we wont have a hard time going home for Christmas even. I came inside our room with my earphones on, i am so awkward because i really told her that i have a crush on her. The sound of my earphone is really loud so i cant hear any of them inside the room, but i know she, her crush and her crush’ friend is there at the back of our room. When the song i am listening to ended, i heard her crush’ friend saying “There’s someone who have a crush on you in our wave right?” the moment i heard that, i knew that she told them that i have a crush on her, i felt betrayed.
I just let it flow. Ignoring her, she didn’t even talk to me that much. And i can see that she and her crush is already together because of their clingy-ness and sweetness on each other. It’s unofficial, i just expected it to be like that but i never heard it from anyone. It was actually sad for me but i kept on fighting it. There are times i am not even in the mood to eat.
December 24, Christmas eve, i was singing with my brothers and decided to post it on messenger, she just keep on seeing the videos and such but not talking to me. I chatted her to ask if she’s dating with her crush already but i’ve got no answer. 11 pm strikes and i decided to send her a long ass message. She just reacted an emoji with a heart and no response. She response to me in the morning saying she fell asleep already.
December 25th, i’ve got a greetings from her and nothing else. It getting more awkward already but i am still expecting that she will at least talk to me, but no.
During one of our chats, she asked me to have a drink with her and a friend, i said yes but when i sent her that long ass message, it got awkward. She doesn’t talk to me that much so i thought that maybe the invitation would be disregarded already.
Our salary day came, she asked me if i will still go but my friends already decided to eat on a buffet so i told her i cant go. It’s for my own anyway, i don’t wanna bond with her that much because i want my feelings to fade away.
December 29. She left on our gc, i was hella curious so decided to pm her. She told me that she fought and broke up with her girlfriend. I was more than happy but then, not really. She sounds so frustrated because her girlfriend did something that is really absurd. She even told me that they’re dating since December 22. I was in full shock because i even sent her a message during the 25th like whut.
She asked me to have a drink with her but it’s raining that time so i refused to go which is until now, i am sorry for myself. She even told me that she wont go to work anymore so i did everything to stop he from doing that. I  told her that i’ll give a gift or i’ll perform during our year end party but she refused to accept. She got quite busy during the night and i even asked her if she’s free on the next day but she said nope.
On Sunday, i talked to her again and asked if it’s a final decision, i even told her jokingly that she wont be able to see me perform. She said that she’ll go to work because she wants to watch me, i am really happy because i feel special. But it turned out that they got back together, i am stupid right?
December 31, our year end party. When i came in, she’s still not there but her girlfriend is so i thought, maybe they’re still not getting back together. She arrives and keeps on saying to her friend “Where’s the gift you promised me?” which is actually for me because i promised her. I was with my friend when she asked me to have a photo with her. I was actually surprised because we never had a photo together yet. She took it, her hand is actually trembling which is funny so i told her i’ll take it for her, but I AM TREMBLING AS WELL.
She were in front of me when i told my friend to take a photo together but she went to us saying that she wants to join so i took a photo of the three of us. I was really happy that time but that ended real quick when her girlfriend performed and she said “I’m so embarrassed for you”. I was like “They got back together”.
It even gets sadder when we’re about to eat, they went to get the food together, eating beside each other and they even took a photo together. For short, they’re very sweet to one another.
Our party ended, i was frowning the whole time, each and everyone is greeting one another and hugging each other. She was in front of me and i jokingly told her “Happy new year” and i even leaned a bit but we’re on our way out so i just went out of the room. She called me and said “Okay let’s hug”. I was about to hugged her but we both leaned on the same direction which made us almost kissed. I was embarrassed big time, even some of our wavemates saw it as well as her girlfriend. But we still hugged of course. Both of us were actually speechless after that.
Why is it whenever i am deciding to forget about her, she’s doing something that will make me fall for her more?
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lifeofalaurie · 6 years
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my uwc story
i remember reading through uwc blogs when i had just found out about uwc and when i was applying and going through all those months of WAITING for the next step...and they were so helpful. im so glad these exist
i first found out uwc through my brother’s friend, who actually went to UWC atlantic college (where im headed!!!!) a few years back. it was one ordinary saturday afternoon (idk if it was actually saturday but that sounds right) and we were carpooling with said friend (usually i dont participate in these but i happened to be in the car that day) and we were talking about next year and whatever and she just kinda said that she wasn’t going to be back next year bc she was going to this ‘abroad’ program. i didnt even really think about it that much. i in fact forgot about it after that...apparently my dad did not.
so my dad would talk about it here and there but i was NOT INTERESTED for that whole year..then...i started researching a bit myself and thought oh this sounds kind of cool. i still didn't really get what UWC even was or if was even a legit thing. it just sounded like another boarding school (a huge NO for me). then i saw that there was a such thing as a “short program” (or maybe someone actually told me about it) and i decided to apply for the one at the USA campus in New Mexico. i remember writing the essays over winter break and thinking they were pretty terrible (there was also a skype interview involved and that was rough) so i was pretty shocked when i found out i had gotten in but it worked out well bc my fam was going to arizona anyway a week before that so i just flew to new mexico myself after that (i say that casually but we had to cancel tickets and get new ones so that i could go to new mexico instead of home PLUS i had to fly for myself for the first time and i was pretty confused). (also, the program is called global leadership forum or GLF)
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after hermit’s peak hike (ALL UPHILL FOR A SOLID 4-5 HOURS) i think it was like 8 miles IDK. view was so nice though 10/10
GLF turned out to be an amazing experience and really solidified my trust in UWC and confirmed to me that it was indeed a real thing. i really loved how much we did in those 2 and half weeks or so - camping, hiking, interacting w wolves, having important discussions - and it really pushed me to decide to apply to UWC for real. maybe ill talk more about it in another post!!!!
ok so coming home i did even more research and really really started liking UWC and decided that i might as well try to apply. i knew they never had a certain ‘criteria’ for students but i also knew it was a long and stressful process and involved really digging deep so i really didn’t think much of it (didn’t think i really had a chance) after submitting my written application. and then began the long waiting game...
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here’s a nice picture of the sky @ a wolf reservation! just wanted to add a nice pic 
i never joined any of those fb groups or college confidential things for applicants and good thing bc looking at some of them now stress me out so i wouldve probably been even more stressed if i had been involved in that. also i didnt even know they existed until later so thats also probably why.
anyway i had totally forgotten about UWC (more like i was sure they’d forgotten about me or there had been something wrong like my application wasn’t submitted or something) bc i didnt hear back until the end of november (i submitted the application early october). but finding out i was a semifinalist was kind of traumatic bc in my GLF snapchat group one of my friends (who’s going to Pearson this year!!!) said he’d moved on to the next stage and i hadn’t GOTTEN ANY EMAIL. i think i just accepted it that that was the end. but then a few hours passed when i finally decided to check a different email and, alas, there it was. so a few days later, i got an email from my interviewer when we should do our skype interview and it turned out to be the same day i was taking the ACT. good
the interview turned out to be completely ok and actually really great (enjoyable even!!?). if youre at that stage, seriously the best advice i have is to just chill and be honest when youre answering. also, make it more like a conversation rather than the interviewers (yes there are prob going to be more than 1 but i assure u its ok) asking u questions back and forth. think of it as a conversation- that helped me so much to relax. the interviewers just wants to talk to you and find out what kind of person you are and if youre the same one that wrote all those deep meaningful essays from the written application - so if you were honest from the start youll be completely fine...if not, well..sry
after that, school and extracurriculars and life really went up for me and i just forgot about UWC again. i never really told any of my friends about it or anyone except for my parents. i kind of wanted it to be a personal thing- get in or not in the end.
after a really good last day of school before winter break, i went to the town library (lol) and checked my phone and therE IT WAS. I WAS A FINALIST WHICH MEANT I WOULD BE GOING TO THE UWC USA CAMPUS FOR FINALIST WEEKEND. did not know what to expect
waiting for finalist weekend felt looooong
but it came
i flew there myself AND IT WASNT EVEN DIRECT and i remember feeling so independent and proud for making it. it turned out i was one of the later ones and in the last group to be bussed over (but i met a friend on the bus who i still talk to here and there who is going to RBC this yr!!). we were so late we missed the initial meeting and first night of activities and just went straight to the hotel. at the hotel i saw my interviewer and she gave me a hug (<3) and that helped calm me down and it was also really nice to see her in person bc i remember really liking her during our skype interview. then finalist weekend happened. and im pretty sure im not supposed to expose the process so all i can say was that it was actually so genuinely fun and a real good time 
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UWC USA <3 
at the end we all exchanged social media and fb and all that and started a messenger group chat -- as nice as it was to be able to connect to everyone, i think it really stressed everyone out. they told us that results would come out early that week (FALSE). THAT WEEK AFTER FINALIST WEEKEND WAS THE MOST STRESSFUL THING EVER. IT TOOK YEARS FOR IT TO GO BY. i remember constantly checking my email between classes and everyone in the group chat wondering if anyone had heard. then on wed night, we all got an email that said the results would be notified by friday instead. the worst
i remember that friday evening i was packing for my first hackathon (it was fun) and thinking the call wouldnt come until later that night. people were freaking out all over the group chat. then, as i was scrambling packing my sweatpants into my bag, the home phone started ringing and i ran..RAN TO THE PHONE. it said my interviewer’s name on the caller ID and i was like OK THIS I S REAL. and i picked it up and it turned out i was too late so i frantically called back probably 10 times on multiple different phones (my efforts did not work). but then, i got a call to the home phone again and it was her so i picked up RIGHT AWAY and when she told me... i kid you not that i screamed and ran around my house a few times. so thats it. it was kind of a really long and sstressful process for sure, but SOO WORTH IT. i definitely learned a lot just from that process bc it makes you think and reflect a lot all throughout. weeee
if youre even thinking about applying please GO FOR IT (well as long as ur in the right age limit, 16-18.... and also make sure you’ve done some research to get a feel for it).. but just DO IT. and u can ask me questions if u want and ill answer to the best of my personal ability (but remember that im just one person and one experience and each person’s experience is completely different)
here is the general website btw:
https://www.uwc.org/
i will probably do another post to explain UWC - at least in my own words and perspective!
<3 <3 <3
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