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velvetsainz · 4 days

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summary: [ cs55, cl16, mv1, lh44, fa14, sv5, dr3, mwebber, jb22 x fem!reader ] three major kinks + a couple minor kinks for each driver

word count: 1.8k

content warnings: smut under the cut (minors dni pls!), pwp; i'm not going to tag all of these bc that would take 5ever BUT 1) everything is consensual & in the setting of a happy, healthy relationship & 2) dm me if you are needing any specific tw's/cw's & i'll be happy to share those!

a/n: it's been a hot, hot minute since i've had the energy to write (i was busy surviving my surgery core rotation at a level 1 trauma center & pediatrics at a major children's hospital), but i've been brewing up a lil something for awhile now! i was stalling out on writing the last part of corsica, so i figured i'd at least give you this to get the juices flowing again! i started this blog about six months ago, & i'm nearly at 500 followers & i wanted to take a moment to thank you all! i love you so much and i hope you enjoy this! these are the kinks i think each of these drivers has! what proof do i have, you ask? absolute fuck-all! enjoy, loves! xx

creampie + breeding kink — he’s a family man & lord knows how badly he wants his own. he’s possessive, too, & this sates both of those desires well for him. he’s always whispering something in your ear, hand low on your belly about how good you’d look carrying his babies. and once you’re actually pregnant? sweet jesus, he’s never taking his hands off of you.

shower sex — he’s talked a number of times about how he’ll shower multiple times a day, and something tells me he’d never object to a partner. more than once he’s had you against the tiled walls until the water ran cold and your teeth were chattering. he’d then proceed to take it upon himself to warm you up again, ever the gentleman.

post-workout sex — there’s something about the way you look, out of breath & drenched in sweat that sends all the blood in his body rushing to his cock. you’re trying to push him away, afraid that you’re just too gross, but this man does not give a single fuck. he adores you in all your sweaty, sticky glory & is on you the second you make it back from your class, peeling you out of your leggings and wrangling your too-tight sports bra over your head. and it goes the other way as well: his favorite workout cooldown is fucking you senseless; there’s something deeply primal about the exertion of a workout that clouds his head with only thoughts of you, out of breath & on the brink of orgasm.

minor kinks | hair pulling — rough sex — cockwarming — pussy worship — possessiveness — soft dom — teasing — dirty talk

praise kink — he’s a talker in bed, and that means that he’s telling you just how delicious the tight clutch of your velvet walls feels around his cock. one language is not enough to tell you all the ways you make him feel, how good you are, how badly he’s wanted you. it certainly doesn’t hurt when you reciprocate, but the sounds he’s able to work out of you are often enough for him.

vanilla sex — listen: it’s no secret that this man is a romantic, and there are few things as romantic as good ole vanilla sex. sure, some spice is nice every once in a while, but he doesn’t need it to get his rocks off. he’s too caught up in the romance of it all—the tangle of limbs, skin pressed against skin, stuttering breaths, and stammering hearts—to want anything else. all he needs is you.

kissing — similar as above, charles is a sucker for romance, and a good makeout sess is just the right thing to get him hot and bothered. he’s very talented with languages, and his mastery of his tongue doesn’t end with words. *wink wink*

minor kinks | oral sex (giving + receiving) — creampie — cowgirl — bathtub sex — breathplay

mutually drunk sex — no matter how much he loves a club scene, he’d always find himself back in your arms. happy, sloppy, messy sex. as much as he loves a g&t, he loves the taste of you more.

wax play — we’ve seen the clips. he likes dripping the wax just as much as he likes being dripped on, and every time you go to light a candle his eyes get that hungry look like he could devour you whole; you’ve learned how to use this to your advantage.

dirty talk + praise kink — as we all know, this man is a certified YAPPER. and, unsurprisingly, that extends to the bedroom, too. always groaning, grunting, whispering sweet nothings in your ears, there’s very little that leaves him truly speechless; you’ll always know exactly how he feels when you're riding his cock or taking him deep in your throat, whether that’s in dutch, english, or the french he’s been trying to practice. and, given his upbringing, he lives for the praises that fall past your lips; he aims to please, and your sweet words are all the motivation he needs.

minor kinks | restraints (giving + receiving) — spanking — threesomes — nipple play — sensory play

massage — he takes great pride in his physique, and he thinks every inch of you is perfect. he loves watching all the tension leave your body. with such limited time in his busy, busy life, he thrives on the time he gets to spend with you; few things can compete with the peace, intimacy, and pleasure that comes from the feeling of your hands working over the tight muscles of his back and legs. and if they happen to wander somewhere else? well, what a happy accident that would be!

fingering — if there’s one thing lewis knows, it’s that a man’s most important tool isn’t the one between his legs. he loves all the ways in which you unravel for him, your back pressed against his chest with your legs draped over his own to keep them open. he’ll play with you like that for hours if he could, unlacing your composure until you're boneless and melting into him with every touch. (also, dear god, have you seen his hands? female gaze bait of the highest form.)

the lingerie stays on — there’s a litany of pick-up lines about clothes, etc. looking good on you but better on their floor, and a one mr. hamilton disagrees with that sentiment; we know well how he appreciates fine garments, and he loves them even more when you’re wearing them. he’s most certainly one to spoil his partner, and if he’s going to buy you that agent provocateur set, you can bet he wants to see you in it.

minor kinks | soft dom — cowgirl — voyeurism — intimacy — dirty talk — shower sex — pillowtalk

face riding — why do you think he takes so much pride in his neck strength? and even when you’re squirming away from overstimulation, he’s more than able to hold you in place by hooking his toned biceps over your shaking thighs. he’s a menace, but he never leaves a partner wanting for more.

wearing his clothes — okay, this one isn’t original in the slightest because i simply cannot get this blurb by @folkloresthings out of my head. nando would keel over at the sight of you in his clothes, especially if there was a particular lack of certain undergarments. he’d pull you in by the excess material and have you right there if feasible.

anal sex — all the nando fuckers know that he’s a little freaky—can i get an amen? that being said, his experience goes a long way in helping his partner get the most out of it and making it a pleasurable experience for all parties. he’d take his time working you open, pairing it with leg-shaking orgasms to wash away any doubts in your mind. it’s a new sensation, but a welcome one at that.

minor kinks | swallowing / facials — teasing — spanking — rough sex — sloppy sex — aftercare

teasing — a tyrant on the track and one in the bedroom as well. or in the car. or at a dinner with a few too many pairs of eyes. regardless, being a tease is his favorite above all else despite his own inability to handle a healthy dose of his own medicine.

overstimulation — this more or less goes hand-in-hand with his teasing, but he loves the way you beg when you’re coming down from one high and coasting right into another. “just one more, liebling” or “you’ve got another one, don’t you, schatz?” or “i know you can take it, kleiner hase” before making your vision go white as he wrings another orgasm from you.

morning sex — but, above all else, sebastian is a lover, and few things are quite as intimate as slow, fumbling, half-awake morning sex where you’re mumbling praises and communicating in soft, hushed sounds of pleasure. chasing sensations and desires before your mind is even fully awake takes a strong, trusting bond, and he prides himself on this with his partner.

minor kinks | cockwarming — spanking — mutual masturbation — toys — soft restraints (giving + receiving) — creampie / breeding — praise kink — dirty talk

cowgirl — this man & his mobsession w/ texas—need i say more? how does that saying go, again? “save a horse…”

photos/sextape — daniel3.jpg would like a word. he’s obsessed with this new medium, and what’s a better way to remember a spicy moment than on film? plus, when you’re traveling 200-plus days a year, you need a way to bring a piece of home with you however you can, whether that’s watching you fall apart while arching your back as he grips your shoulder tight or taking him into the back of your throat as you look up at him through damp lashes or riding his cock or or arching your back as he grips your shoulder tight…you get the picture.

threesomes — considering the way that everyone fawns over him on the grid, this man could so easily work himself into some surprising pairings. his love language is physical touch and he’s not afraid to share it. that, combined with his competitiveness and desire to please, turns into a dangerous desire for him to see you fucked out and overwhelmed by your own need for more.

minor kinks | mirror sex — dirty talk — thigh riding — facefucking — rough sex — hair pulling

rough sex — aussie grit. there’s nothing else i need to say other than he’s a wild ride.

aftercare — any rough lover worth their prowess, though, knows the importance of aftercare, and mark is no different in that regard. he takes it very seriously and is always checking in afterward to make sure you enjoyed yourself as much as he did, peppering you in sweet kisses and warm embraces.

pussy worship — we’ve all seen the clip, right? this man knows how to eat pussy and he’s damn good at it. better yet—he loves doing it. you’d practically have to pry him off you from the overstimulation, his tongue, lips, and teeth finding alllll the right ways to make you fall apart.

minor kinks | cockwarming — spanking — possessiveness — massage — swallowing / facials

exhibitionism + voyeurism — the grid slag. he’s confident about his body and his abilities, and he’s not afraid to share. he’s not overly possessive and an unabashed hedonist to boot, so this pairing works perfectly to get his rocks off (and hopefully yours, too). he’s a little freak, and he’s not afraid to let it show!

spanking — when you’re especially mouthy (frequently to get these exact reactions) and he’s a little bold, jenson is partial to taking you over his knee and seeing how long you can keep up the act before you’re a whimpering mess. frequently this ends with him literally kissing your ass, two fingers buried knuckle deep in your dripping cunt while another toys with your too-sensitive clit.

brattiness — again, like above, he loves when you backtalk or drag your heels on him, making him work for your pleasure and, on some nights, your submission. (though, he’s not afraid to admit how fucking hot he finds it when you take control, using him for your pleasure and taking what you need. all that matters to him is raw, messy, dirty fun.)

minor kinks | threesomes — begging — degradation kink (giving + receiving) — nipple play — oral sex (giving + receiving) — toys

final note: that's all, folks! now what do you think? let me know! 🤍 as always, you can follow my writing sideblog @velvetsainz-writes where i reblog inspo & recs!

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dekusleftsock · 4 months

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HMMNGGGSHSHHSHD IM SO LATE TO THIS BUT THERES SO MANY THINGS IVE WANTED TO SAY FOR SO LONG AND IVE JUST BEEN TOO DEPRESSED OR BUSY TO DO IT

I did just re-read the chapter, hazbin/helluva hyperfixation is gone y’all I’m back and ready for more.

Okay so, a couple of things I noticed. Let’s start there.

Throughout this chapter, it really is heartbreaking to see how Izuku regards one for all as Allmight’s power, and therefore a disrespect to him to give that away. Which is quite frankly insane given the nature of what the power is, but regardless it still shows me just how deeply he still cares for and admires allmight.

It also makes the transfer Izuku makes to Katsuki in the heroes rising movie all the more intimate; izuku wouldn’t just give the power to anyone, if not for himself (which is also clearly due to that fact since he still sees ofa as the thing that makes him a hero, not his characteristics), then simply out of respect for allmight and his legacy.

It’s just the anger you can see, feel in those words as he demands to know why. I’ve personally been in the boat of “Izuku dislikes Kudou immensely bc he hasn’t proven to be heroic and amazing like Katsuki has, and also he insults him a lot why would he like him”, since Izuku does genuinely have self respect (a common mischaracterization imo), he’s just also more forgiving and faithful to those he admires or loves (or both).

SPEAKING OF SELF RESPECT AND MISCHARACTERIZATION!

I want to highlight the words “But even so, this boy refuses to throw in the towel”, bc it’s such an important part of Izuku and his character.

He isn’t overly self sacrificial, he isn’t a masochist, he isn’t even a martyr—especially not a martyr.

Izuku is stubborn. That is not the same thing as wanting to constantly die for others; izuku is like Katsuki, he wants to fight for others. Giving up just simply isn’t in his morality.

And if “giving up” also includes letting someone die or failing to save someone out of his own negligence, that’s not because he wants to die.

I can’t explain how much the interpretation that Izuku wanting to die, even for others, is so fucking out of character. Izuku is stubborn, he’s stubborn in the way that he won’t just fall over and let the ground take him. Given the circumstances, Izuku would fight for his life just as he would fight for another.

THIS HAS BEEN THE CASE SINCE, I DONT KNOW, CHAPTER FUCKING ONE?

“Idiot! If I’d really jumped, you’d be charged with bullying me into suicide!! Think before you speak!!”

“Idiot…”

Like he’s so unaffected by the awful comment outside of being angry at the DISRESPECT of said comment. This is why all those damn suicidal Izuku fics have always felt so ooc. Izuku isnt a moody, brooding ball of depression, he’s a stubborn, courageous, and angry ball of depression. There is a difference.

Even before this, he literally attempts to say something or fight back to Katsuki, honestly it looks like he’s about to punch him here.

The only reason he DOESNT is bc HE DOESNT WANT TO GET HIS ASS BEAT

Btw for anyone who has or ever will be in Izuku’s position, punch him. I love Katsuki But hit him in the fucking gut. If you get your ass beat at least you can say you can took it like a champ.

Speaking from someone who regrets not punching three girls who were trying to gang up on me in middle school🫶🫶🫶

Anyway, I’d argue that Izuku not taking Katsuki in a fight was made out of self preservation, something he very much has.

And last but not least, we get to this lovely fucking page.

First of all…

Hm, ain’t that strange?

I’m not saying it’s fully a parallel, I’m just saying it’s something to consider.

Especially with the context that I don’t think Izuku feels shameful here.

He’s been a hero who didn’t look like one once before, I’m sure a snide comment through Shigaraki is nothing in comparison to the literal hundreds of civilians afraid of him.

Or, even more interestingly, what if he’s shameful of it, and okay with that? Now THATS some control over your emotions. This is demonstrating the very thing Banjo told him in the first place; using his emotions to fuel him. Let himself live with them, breath with them. They exist, and they hurt, and that’s fucking okay.

But it begs the question…. Why bring attention to it?

Clearly horikoshi WANTS you to see that Izuku is the one who looks like the monster now. He even looks devil like, blackwhip coming out of his back the way it is just feels like wings.

But maybe… maybe this is how he stops sweeping problems under the rug. Maybe this is him, Izuku, at his most animalistic form. Him. At his core. This is the Izuku he doesn’t want people to know.

The faceless, long clawed, oozing black monster.

He’s a kid who can take a fucking beating. He’s not Deku the useless doll, nor is he Deku the hero. He’s simply Izuku.

And you know what’s even more likely?

The black pit of anger that Shigaraki has formed, fueling his uncontrolled emotions and anger and despair, with the light tear showing something underneath…

What if, this was Izuku’s black ball of anger and shame, except this one is escaping his body, pouring out and showing all of that for what it truly is. Pent up rage, uncontrolled emotion, anxiety and shame, all mixed into one hell hole of a person—but a ball that can be molded, controlled, torn apart from the inside out.

See, the same way Kudou tears at Shigaraki’s mental breaking to see what’s underneath, so have the ofa users for Izuku. Slowly, but surely, the people in Izuku’s life have, while created that ball in the first place, also worked to destroy it. The final piece of the puzzle is for Izuku to choose to let it happen, and he is.

Learning to sit in one’s fear, doubt, hatred, anger, sadness, grief, happiness—without that emotion having to be something, simply something that flows through you, that you can choose to act on or not; this is where Izuku’s arc is coming to its tipping point. We are nearing the climax, I can feel it.

#bkdk #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bkdk brainrot #bakudeku #bnha deku #bakugou katsuki #mha analysis #deku midoriya #IM FUCKING BAXK BITCHES #I’ve been trying to write this for. not joking. two weeks.#like I have three different versions of this meta that I scrapped completely #they all have their own cool ideas tho so maybe I’ll come back to those #have a good fucking night and happy Valentine’s Day!!!!!!!

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ao3commentoftheday · 6 months

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I feel like there's a disconnect on the popularity discussion where some people are talking about popularity and some people are talking about feedback. A lot of the responses to the original ask talked about writing what you love and not chasing popularity, but also crucially offered advice on building community. I saw a lot of "don't do things you don't love just to be popular, but here's some ways to get feedback." And the thing is that's right; if an author isn't invested in what they're writing it likely won't be particularly good, and it's really hard to get popular without building a community in some way first. The two pieces, write what you love and engage with people and market yourself, are both necessary to a) feel satisfaction and b) find and maintain popularity.

I'm somewhat popular in my fandom now. The first couple stories I wrote didn't really gain very much traction bc they were sort of unusual, were things that I very much wanted to write and put out without expecting a lot in return. There's a relatively high volume of writers in my fandom and I didn't get a ton of responses. But I met people, I formed relationships, I hyped my own work, and when a story I wrote blew up (without any input from me, it was shared on another site by people I don't know) suddenly every eye was on me. I kept writing what I wanted to but now there were people paying attention. I kept working hard to make myself available to people, leading discussions and creating content that I cared about and interacting, and people kept coming along for the ride no matter what I wrote. It's been sticky at times, overwhelming; there have been times when I was too afraid to speak my mind on socials lest I lose readers, and times when I'd find myself comparing response rates between stories and wondering what I was doing wrong, but the stories I have loved most are the ones I wrote entirely on my own terms, with no regard to whether it was what people wanted. Some of those stories routinely get comments like "I didn't think I liked X but I read it because it was you and I loved this." To get to the point where people were willing to trust me like that, I had to both form relationships with them and write a LOT of stories that I cared deeply about. You gotta do both.

Popularity vs feedback anon sorry I hit the button to soon-

Community is feedback, is what I'm saying. The more people you know and the more conversations you start the more feedback you'll get, regardless of how popular you are. Feedback doesn't happen without community. It's extremely rare for someone without connections to get a ton of responses; people want to know you.

---

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, anon

#asks and answers

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aropride · 9 months

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i saw a post the other day that said that gen z/gen alpha say "unalive" and "seggs" and stuff bc they're afraid of being "punished by an invisible force" and while i do think that the self-censoring sometimes unnecessary and worrying, i also don't think they're self-censoring for no reason.

i think there are a lot of situations where talking about suicide/death in general and sex outright would be punished by very real visible forces like parents and teachers and instagram community guidelines. like these kids (i say kids but i know people my age (20) do this, i feel like it's mostly younger genz and genalpha though at least in my experience) aren't just self-policing and self-censoring for no reason. some creators learned to adapt their language to unclear nebulous guidelines to try and avoid their accounts being taken down or their videos being shown to fewer people, then people started assuming any mentions of death or sex would be punished and started doing the same thing, and now younger kids have picked up on it bc they're online a lot and don't know any different.

but that's not the only part of this that matters bc while that is strange and a little dystopian. there are also offline real-life reasons kids would be scared to talk about this shit with actual words. like i was raised very christian, evangelical, not quite fundamentalist, "we don't use labels but we have stage lights for the worship songs but don't wear skirts above the knee" type of thing. my parents didn't teach me about sex until they found out i would have a sex ed class bc they had to sign a permission slip. and then they gave me a book for kids about sex that was heavily christian, abstinence-only, deeply homophobic etc. it didn't teach about birth control, about what things are not normal, any of that. and i was not raised in a way where i was even the slightest bit comfortable asking my parents or talking about it at all. my twin brother got the same book and would talk about sex or make jokes about it and our parents would get upset because it was "inappropriate" and he shouldn't be thinking about that or whatever. and if i had tried to talk about like, menstrual health or signs of abuse or even just made a joke about sex at all my parents would have been upset.

you can probably guess this from what i just said but unsurprisingly my parents weren't big on being upfront about mental health issues either. i have been depressed since before i can remember and was suicidal by the time i was eleven and i had no idea that the way i was feeling wasn't normal or that there was a word for it. i don't remember when i learned about suicide but i know my dad was at least willing to say the word in conversation when i was 12, which my mother wasn't happy about because it was "too dark" a conversation to be having (he had been telling me about a friend he had in college, specifically about how he had recovered from substance abuse issues and suicidal ideation).

and my parents were definitely not normal but there are objectively situations where parents are way worse about this type of thing. there are absolutely kids who aren't allowed to say words like suicide and death and sex. and they're not afraid of algorithms, there are real-life offline consequences if they slip up. so they self-censor, they talk quietly in the lunchroom with codewords and euphemisms with their friends. and that's not even to mention school, and how kids will get in trouble for anything an adult doesn't want them to talk about, how they can get in, again, real-life offline trouble for speaking frankly about this type of thing. because it's "inappropriate," because it's "upsetting," because their teacher is having a bad day, because god said not to, because they don't want their dm to a friend on tiktok to be flagged.

and i would much rather kids talk about these things with sometimes-insensitive code words than to not talk about them at all. if it's a choice between someone coming out as "tr4ns" to their friend and not having someone to support them at all, if it's between saying they want to "unalive" themself and never seeking help, i want them to go the sometimes-silly code word route. because i think they should be allowed to talk about these things and if they're not i think they have the right to try to do it anyway. the unnecessary self-censorship has been criticized to hell and back and i'm not saying it shouldn't be, especially when it's adults saying these things in real life situations. i'm just saying i think kids have a lot more pressure to censor themselves than people think, even offline.

#text #long post #suicide mention #Turn this post into sh.ip di.scourse i will kill u in real life and if u think 'thats insane why would someone do that' well u have no #idea the amount of things ive seen ppl turn into sh/ipcourse on here.

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outofmydepthatapublicbeach · 3 months

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stargazing- Julien Baker x fem!reader

summary: You and Julien go on a stargazing date at a dark site.

jj chats: this is a little short!! and i kinda ranted a bit about light pollution but its bc it is so important for people to know!!! i hope y'all like this!!!

word count: only like 600ish

warnings: RPF, kisses, cuddling, no use of y/n, pet names used (honey, babe).

feedback is encouraged and i'd love to get some just please be kind!!!

The cool autumn hair chilled your exposed skin, goosebumps rising. The blanket underneath you was soft as you stared up into the clear night sky. You had talked about wanting to go stargazing for a while and well, Julien being Julien, she searched the internet for the closest dark site. She wanted to give you the best experience she could, and that required the spot with the least amount of light pollution. The car ride was a little longer than you’d expected, but it was all worth it.

You were wrapped in Juliens arms, bundled in sweater over sweater. She held you tight, as if afraid to let you go. You sigh, “It’s so beautiful up here.”

Julien hummed, gliding her hands up and down your sides. “I told you it would be worth it.”

“I know, I know,” you laughed, turning your head to the side to face her, “thank you for this Jules, you are so thoughtful.” If there was any light besides the moon and stars, you'd have been able to see how red Julien’s face flushed. Comparable to the color of strawberries, or raspberries, or even cherries. But then again, you couldn’t see. But trust that Julien felt it.

Even though you couldn’t see her face, you could tell when she got flustered by your compliment by the way she shoved her face into your neck. Her lips found a home on your neck, giving you one kiss. However innocent and gentle it was, it still sent shivers down your spine.

The kiss turned into a smile as Julien started to speak, “I wish more of the world was like this.”

“Like what?” you asked, then questioned again giggling “like total darkness?”

“No! Not like that! Just more…”

“More?”

Julien sighs, “I can’t remember the word.”

“Starry?”

“No not that."

You think for a second, “Just you and me?”

“Well that isn’t what I was thinking of but yeah it fits,” Julien kisses your cheek. You two continue to sit in silence for a solid minute. Two heartbeats separated from the whole world, just you and her- “pure! That's the word! More pure!” Julien exclaims.

You hum, “Pure?”

Julien answers your questions, “I mean how sad is it that we had to look up a place to go stargazing because where we live the sky is too polluted? Imagine if the whole world looked like this, how beautiful it would be.”

“I know honey, it's scary how bad it's gotten,” you murmur, bringing your hand to her thigh, rubbing soothing circles. “Let’s enjoy the stars while we’re here huh? When we get home maybe we could look into it more and see what we can do.”

Julien agrees, turning your head to the side and kissing you deeply. And even though neither of you can see it, you both smile at each other, holding your hands together. You continue to lay in each other's arms, not wanting to be anywhere but here. And when it gets late you gather the blanket and walk back to the car, using a red tinted flashlight to guide your way.

You walk hand in hand, the red tint makes Julien look even prettier than normal, so naturally you tell her, “You look so hot right now babe.”

Julien turns to you, her eyes wide. Even after being together for a few months, your love of complimenting your girlfriend is still growing on her. She smiles at you, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. You bring your interlocked hands up to your mouth, giving hers a kiss.

Julien is thanking God for that red flashlight, otherwise you’d be able to see just how much she blushed due to your praise.

#julien baker x reader #julien baker fanfic #julien baker fluff #boygenius x reader #jj writes #julien baker au #julien baker one shot #julien baker x singer!reader #wlw #light pollution is so important yall!!!#lesbians #sapphic

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beebotea · 10 months

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☁️ ˖⁺ thinking of bf!xiao

pairing: xiao x gn!reader genre: fluff cw: mention of arguments, minor lack of communication trope i.e.: bf!xiao headcannons

bf!xiao who always reminds you to text him when you get home to make sure you're safe

bf!xiao who holds the door for you when you enter or exit any store or vehicle

bf!xiao who covers any sharp corners of tables or desks when you need to duck down to grab something you dropped

bf!xiao who finds himself staring at you one too many times, but he can't help it because you're too pretty

bf!xiao who prefers to call or ft over texting because he's worried that his texts will come across too dry

bf!xiao who has a habit of breaking into your house unannounced because with one of the spare keys to your home (but at least he always brings food)

bf!xiao who likes to drape himself over your lap like a cat when you're sitting on the couch or in your bed to get your attention

bf!xiao who used to not like pda bc it always made him too flustered and would much prefer to hold you in the privacy of your homes

bf!xiao who is possessive and easily gets irritated at people who can't seem to keep their eyes to themselves

bf!xiao who got over his distaste for pda and started to hold your hand more often

bf!xiao who now makes it a point to show that you're taken by him and only him (sometimes, if he's feeling extra happy, he'll give you a hug in public *gasp*)

bf!xiao who idly plays with your fingers when you're watching movies or shows together

bf!xiao who has your quirks and expressions memorized so well that he can practically read your mind

bf!xiao who tries his best to be a better person worthy of your love

bf!xiao who's emotions and self-consciousness will occasionally get the best of him

bf!xiao who often storms off and will disappear for a day or two when your (rare) arguments get heated

bf!xiao who avoids you when he's upset because he's afraid of lashing out and saying things he doesn't mean

bf!xiao who returns with an arm full of gifts, your favourite treats, and a handwritten letter to apologize because he thinks he's bad with words

bf!xiao who pays careful attention to everything you talk about and keeps tabs on what you want or wish for

bf!xiao who has a tough time expressing himself but deeply appreciates how patient you are with him

bf!xiao who pulls you into a tight hug when you forgive him, holding you as if you would dissipate in his arms if he let go

bf!xiao who never says it but loves cuddling

bf!xiao who likes being both the big and little spoon and loves it when you rest your head in the crook of his neck

bf!xiao who has a habit of worming his hand under your shirt to seek out more warmth, but never pushing your boundaries unless you let him

bf!xiao who pulls you back into his lap by the waist if he's not done cuddling you yet

bf!xiao who begins to whisper everything he loves about you as you hold each other

bf!xiao who always asks for permission to kiss you

bf!xiao who's kisses start gentle when you give him the "ok" but eventually gets more greedy as his tongue pushes past your lips

bf!xiao who can't help but pull you closer so he can kiss you for longer

bf!xiao who reluctantly pulls away for air

bf!xiao who caresses your cheek gently when he stares so lovingly into your eyes

bf!xiao who nuzzles closer into your touch as you card your fingers through his soft dark hair

bf!xiao who falls asleep in your arms to the gentle sensation with the prettiest smile gracing his complexion

bf!xiao who is absolutely head over heels for you

a/n: im so normal for him :| (i am currently going feral and foaming at the mouth for this man as you are reading this) i love him so much T-T

#beebotea*✲ﾟ*｡⋆ writes #genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin xiao #xiao x reader #xiao #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin impact xiao #genshin x y/n #genshin x you #xiao x you #xiao x y/n

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roryzlittles1ut · 5 months

Text

Some little gage head canons bc @icarus-star asked! (HES SO TINY COMPARED TO THE TWO OTHER GUYS-)

SFW:

He definitely see some things whenever he does his drugs yk. He doesn’t do them much, but when he does, he gets very confused of everything. You see him just loosing his mind.

I feel like he would just tame random animals. One day, you could just be at home doing anything and he walks in holding a a fucking bunny (which he did 🧍‍♀️). His hand would rub his hand on its head and look at you.

“What? It was cute. We can’t have it? Too bad..”

When he’s angry, he’d mumble to himself as a little kid. He’d also pout like a little kid and ignore what you say. A few minutes later, he’d beg you for cuddles.

I think he would tell you about his past, then completely break down when you comfort him. He’d cling onto your shirt, crying into your chest and let out a few whimpers.

He definitely loves snuggling. Gage loves cuddling and snuggling with you, holding you tightly. He wouldn’t let go at all. He might say he would let go of you, but really he won’t.

“Hm? You thought I was actually going to let you go? Come on..you know me better than that..”

His favorite place(s) to get kissed is the nose, forehead, lips, and cheeks. He isn’t really a neck kisser, and I kind of think he’s more of a neck sucker. He’d blush and giggle about whenever you kiss him.

He has a teddy bear..don’t ask. It’s his comfort object from his childhood.

Gage loves it when you play with his hair or caress your cheeks, though he gets flustered about it. He looks at you with a tiny giggle.

NSFW:

He isn’t really a top, but he does try to be a top. He would get on top of you as he tries to fuck you, but he gets nervous since he knows he’s a lot deeper inside of you.

He’s a silly little virgin..idc he is.

Sometimes he jerks off, but he doesn’t much since he’s too overwhelmed by the pleasure he gets. Plus, I don’t think he gets horny much.

He says a lot of confessions during sex. As you’re riding him or something, he’d be very flustered as he looses his mind. He’d mumble a bunch of things to himself.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god..mm..fuck. Oh fuck, fuck, fuck..it feels so good, you feel so good. It feels too good.”

When you’re sucking him off, he’d let out multiple moans and whimpers, super..very flustered. Gage would just stare at you, not knowing how to look away. If you deep throat him, he’d moan loudly, covering his mouth after as he blushes deeply.

6-7 inches. He isn’t the biggest since he’s such a little virgin. He’s pretty insecure about it, but when you tell him he’s above average, he’s pretty happy.

There will be hand holding guys. He gets nervous often, so he holds your hands for comfort as he feels your insides. He doesn’t really know where else to touch you either, so he just holds your hands. He squeezes tightly when you go fast, then loosens when you go slow.

Fem! He doesn’t know where to start when you tell him to eat you out. He stares at your pussy, confused on how he could even do it. He looks up at you, then back down at your cunt, astonished and confused. He’d give your clit gentle kisses, tasting your juices. When you cum, he pulls away and there would be a little rope of saliva coming from his mouth to your pussy. He’d watch your cum trail down your pussy, then look back up at you.

“D-did I do good for you?”

Male! He’s very afraid to suck you off, but when you tell him he doesn’t have to suck your whole length, he gets a bit relieved. He starts with small kitty licks, then wraps his lips around your tip. When you cum in his mouth, his eyes would widen a lot as he blushes deeply. He pulls away with a soft pop, swallowing it, since he doesn’t know if he should spit it out or not.

“I..was I supposed to swallow it?”

When he’s about to cum, he’s the biggest baby ever. He’d let out loud moans and whimpers, blushing like crazy as he grips you very tightly. He’s breathless as he gasps for air.

“I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum!”

#rory culkin #i love him sm.#pls give me a chance #he’s so pookie #he’s so silly #i love him #he’s so cutie patootie #fill my pussy #i love my baby boy #bookie bear

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catiuskaa · 11 months

Text

Floral Troubles: Tales of love.

It’s been hard dealing with your recent love life with how busy the flower shop has been since the wedding season started, over two weeks ago. It was just you, the ribbons and greenery, until he hugged you from behind, left 20 bucks on the table and in an affectionate tone, asked: “How do I say I love you in flower?”

and because of all the support you showed, yes, my loves, flower Binnie is back for more >:)

A/N: Thank you so much for all the reblogs and the votes! I never expected 'Yeah, flowers follow' to blow up like it did, and I'm really happy that you guys read it and enjoyed it as much as I did when writing it!

This can be read as a stand-alone, although I hope you guy's like this one as much as its 'first part', which I'll link here.

basically bc I mentioned to @tangerminie that there was a possibility that I'd do a part two (just bc she reblogged and said "Changbin, you can just go fetch more flowers", and she was right, Changbin's not the idiot, I am, LOL) and well, I committed 💪

word count: 4k. [☆☆❁☆☆]

It was after lunchtime when the bell rang inside the shop again, making you groan slightly towards yourself. Your feet hurt from standing up, knowing that your mother needed the only stool available —because God forbid she lets you take a chair from your apartment, which was just upstairs—.

You wished for hours to pass faster or for better shoes.

"One second, please!" You let out, quickly wiping your mouth with your sleeve just in case, wrapping up the white roses you needed for a booking made two weeks ago. Busy designing and planning the different flower arrangements with a soon-to-be bride, you had little to no free time, days passing by inside the little flower workshop behind the beaded curtains. And, sadly for your poor heart, that also had meant less time for a special someone, who was also busy composing, rapping, and most importantly, looking handsome for his fans.

Rushing to the counter, you bowed and smiled, eyes closing and dimples showing, hoping your encounter didn't involve one of those mean customers that think the Sun spins around them.

"Sorry, what can I-?"

"Hey, pretty."

You opened your eyes at max speed, seeing him giggle, his captivating almond-shaped eyes welcoming you with energy and enthusiasm. His hand travelled closer to your face, tucking some rebel hairs that had gotten out of the messy bun you had.

Looking around, you smiled widely at the empty sight, the different flowers and plants being the only witness of how you skipped on top of the counter, pulling the so-called "dark idol" into your embrace.

"Binnie," you mentioned, barely in a whisper, your tensed body quickly sinking on him, the light scent of cologne surrounding you feeling like a breath of fresh air.

You cupped his face between your hands, thumbs stroking the rapper's cheeks.

"You saw my text, right? I'm sorry... I know you only get this week off before not having much free time. I'm sorry I couldn't make it to our date, and I know being sorry doesn't really make up for it, but-"

He gave you a small peck, interrupting you.

"It does, silly. I know you have stuff to do, don't sweat," he smiled, and you snuggled closer to him. "You know I love this, but if your mom sees you on top of the counter, she'll kill me."

"I'll be your knight in shining armour, my prince. Thou shan't be afraid no more," you mentioned in a solemn yet somewhat mocking tone. Changbin chuckled loudly.

"I missed you, flower girl."

You got down from the counter, blushing.

"I missed you too, world star." You blew a kiss at him. "Stay with me?"

He nodded, staring intensely into your eyes, which made you smile. "So? You stormed in here just to flirt with the store's employees?" You covered your mouth with one hand, acting deeply offended. "You know, my manager will hear about this."

He played your game, turning upset in the blink of an eye. "How dare you? I just came here looking for yellow pansies."

You tried keeping up the act but couldn't hold back a smile, the idea that he had memorized parts of the book you gave him being funny in your head, blush still on your face. You took only one flower from its place and handed it to him in a huff.

"It means 'thinking of you.'" he nodded, proudly remembering the flower's meaning.

"Oh. Who's that for?" You asked, giving him a playful side-eye.

His smile lightened the colourful space. "You, of course."

"Ugh, I'm going to get diabetes. Hi, sweetie." Your mom entered with a cheeky smile, greeting the buff man only, making Changbin and you snort, still giving each other puckish looks.

"Hello, ma'am."

"Ah, you make me feel old! Just call me Deiji."

You quickly put the flower back in place and opened the small door to let Changbin access behind the counter.

"You can give the boy the stool I was using. I'll go upstairs and rest for a bit. It's time for my TV drama," your mom explained, ignoring how your eyebrows shot up, leaving the room with a big smile.

You waited until you heard steps above your heads, Seo looking at you with an amused expression. "She's been saying all day that the stool was hers until the day that she'd die. Unbelievable!"

"She loves me more," he teased, spinning side to side on the seat like a small child.

You laughed. "That's because you're adopted. She stole you from Chan Hyung."

The jokes continued, a funny atmosphere settling in the flower-crowded building, mixing with the low-toned music you played in the background.

"Hey, sweetie, come in here," your mom told Changbin, appearing through the curtains from the workshop. "We don't want people coming in here for the visuals rather than for the flowers," she joked half-heartedly, with the only intention of taking care of the idol, allowing him to rest without worrying about any gossip that could be spread.

He cackled, thanking the woman, quickly taking the stool and stepping inside the workshop. As he entered, he was immediately greeted by an atmosphere of creative energy and controlled chaos. Unlike the pristine and organized front area, the workshop was a less spacious room filled with several metal tables, each displaying an array of tools, materials, and unfinished floral designs. Vases, containers, and plastic baskets were scattered across the surfaces, some filled with water, others holding half-arranged bouquets.

The floor surrounding the workbench, situated in the centre of the room, was covered with scraps of greenery, petals, and snippets of ribbon, evidence of the ongoing creative process. The surface above was also cluttered with tools of the trade. Pairs of floral shears, wire cutters, and various types of scissors Changbin wouldn't know how to differentiate, each worn and marked from countless uses.

He took a deep breath, the air perfumed with a fragrant scent of blooms, mingling with the earthy aroma of greenery and the faint hint of floral foam that, funnily enough, resembled yours perfectly.

It was just like you, he thought, the workshop possessing a vibrant energy and a sense of untamed, natural beauty, both characterized by their creative essence and a certain level of organized mess.

He loved it.

The bell above the main door rang again, and he couldn't help to stare back at you through the beaded curtains.

Maybe it was only to him, but your presence exuded an aura of sincerity and radiance that was impossible to ignore. He had only seen that kind of beauty in movies, the ones he saw to get inspiration for his lyrics. With an ethereal glow surrounding you, to Changbin, you were like a magnetic charm that drew people in —the people being him—.

He had never been so into someone before. There had been flings here and there, but none of those had reached this level of intensity. His eyes didn't leave your figure, his heartbeat echoing in his ears as he saw you greet some clients.

Your lips, delicately curved and inviting, held a gentle smile to the people you were paying attention to. They were adorned with a subtle touch of colour. The sudden need to peck them, imagining the cute face you'd make afterwards, became more intense.

He admired your confident yet effortless stance as you moved through the store, looking for the bouquet the client had asked for.

"Oh!"

Changbin snapped out of his daydreaming, facing Deiji.

"So you're serious about her," she concluded with a sly smile.

Seo found himself unable to hold back a goofy smile as he scratched the back of his neck. She giggled, the smile on her features making her look younger.

"Come, sweetie." She invited Changbin upstairs, grinning happily. "I can't let my future son-in-law get cold in the workshop!"

As he ascended a small flight of stairs, he was greeted by a quaint entryway leading to the apartment's main living area. The open floor plan created a sense of spaciousness, allowing the living room, dining area, and kitchen to seamlessly blend together.

Above the bustling flower shop, the small apartment had a cosy and charming ambience that invited anyone to sit and relax. Despite its modest size, it was easy to see your touch in the small decorations that crowded the building.

"It's quite messy, but let's pretend otherwise," your mother said, dismissing it with a flick of the wrist. Changbin laughed, feeling at home.

His eyes locked with another staircase, even smaller, that had books and pots on the side that wasn't facing the wall.

"Her room is in the attic, if you want to wait there," Deiji mentioned slyly.

He had to hold back his curiosity, fidgeting with his rings.

"Can I?" Seo questioned sheepishly.

"Of course! I'll get her there soon, don't you worry!"

She softly rushed the buff man upstairs. Changbin couldn’t help but smile, seeing a wooden sign with several flowers painted. It was so obvious it was your room, you could feel it, and the sentiment intensified once he entered.

With its sloping ceilings and exposed wooden beams, it had a rustic charm that added character and warmth. Soft, natural light came through a dormer window, casting a gentle glow upon the space, which made the furniture inside seem magical.

Against one wall, a somewhat messy, wooden, old-looking piano took centre stage, its unpolished surface and stickers adding to the atmosphere the soft glow of fairy lights delicately draped around it created. The instrument served as a focal point of the room, where it was noticeable you spent hours, judging by how used it looked and how several music sheets filled with compositions adorned a nearby music stand and walls.

The attic's nooks and crannies were transformed into storage areas for various instruments and books. A violin rested upon a stand, ready to be played. An acoustic guitar leaned against a wall, waiting for the touch of skilled fingers. A collection of books, whether flower-related or not, were carefully arranged on a vintage bookshelf, adding a touch of your own personality to it. Close to it, there was a small desk that stood by the window, offering a dedicated space for writing and composing music, in between the range of options. It was adorned with notebooks filled with scribbled lyrics, a laptop for digital composition, and a collection of pens and pencils.

Changbin couldn’t help but lie on the bed as soon as he saw it, looking at the walls of the attic, which were adorned with posters of iconic musicians and whatnot, reflecting your appreciation for the art form. He was excited to see known artists on the walls, happy that you two had common interests. Strings of fairy lights were delicately strung across the ceiling, casting a warm and magical ambience, reminiscent of an intimate concert venue. He hoped one day you’d play something for him, or that you two could play together.

With your flowery scent surrounding him, feeling like he had reached a feeling beyond contentment, Changbin realised how tired he felt all of a sudden, and slowly drifted to sleep.

[☆☆❁☆☆]

You hummed along with the music that kept playing, sketching possible designs for the wedding centrepieces the bride had asked for. Your mother came from upstairs and tsked when she noticed you yawning, quickly turning off the CD player.

"You young people need to sleep more. Go up to your room, I can finish these myself."

"But Mom, it's barely 8 pm, I can just-"

"Fiddlesticks. You'll fall asleep as soon as you touch your bed. Unnegotiable."

You groaned as you stood up, leaving the metal stool for Deiji. You stretched your back, your muscles sore.

"Hey, did you see Changbin leave?" you mentioned, trying to hide a childish sadness in your tone.

You didn't see your mother grin for a second, then quickly put on her round glasses, continuing your design.

"No, I didn't."

You pouted. You knew it was a bit selfish from your side. You understood that he wasn’t going to waste his free week wandering in a flower shop, but there was a small part of your mind that secretly hoped that he'd stay with you until you finished. Your mom cooed, looking at you from above her glasses.

"Moooommm," you whined teasingly. "Gimme a break."

"Whatever. You teenagers live in your own dreams." She mocked, and you couldn't help but chuckle.

"You sound much older when you talk like that."

She laughed. "Just remember, I'll leave in a few hours for the flower convention with Yeongsuk. I'll come back in two days."

"Is she coming to pick you up or do you need me awake?" You inquired, taking your brown apron and hanging it on the wall closest to the stairs.

"Good night, kid."

You snickered, going upstairs slowly. You quickly took your phone and went into your messages. You pouted again, seeing that he hadn't even left a text. Tapping into his contact, you started writing an apology.

'world star ✿ฺ' hey, 'm sorry about today. I'll make it up to you.

But just when you pressed send, you were surprised to hear a notification sound coming from behind your room, the door left ajar.

You stepped in cautiously, your heart skipping a beat when you saw him snoring lowly on your bed. Your insides churned, smiling cutely. You tsked to yourself, knowing that your mom was the one behind this.

You changed into your pyjamas in the bathroom, laughing silently at the sight of the tough-looking man still sleeping cutely when you came back. You took an oversized T-shirt and some sweatpants that were too big for you, but you hadn't had the opportunity to return them yet. You approached him carefully.

"Binne?" You shook him softly.

He slowly opened his eyes.

"Wh-what?"

"You fell asleep, silly. Here, take this. You can get changed in the bathroom downstairs. It's the first door closest to the stairs."

You giggled at the marks that he had gotten from the blankets.

He came back, and you laughed at the sight of him with your clothes on. How could someone look so cute?

"Shouldn't we tell Deiji I'm staying the night?" he asked softly, getting back inside the bed, under the covers.

You snuggled closer to him, taking his arm and settling it on your waist.

"Nah. She'll leave in like two hours, anyway."

You both got lost in each other's eyes.

"You smell nice," you said, fighting to stay awake.

He couldn't help but move his hand towards the blanket, covering you a bit more.

"And you are really pretty when you're half asleep."

"Hey, you're also half asleep." You blabbered, almost unintelligible. You poked the tip of his nose. "Cute," you laughed before falling asleep. He nuzzled in your neck, hearing your calm breathing as a lullaby.

[☆☆❁☆☆]

Changbin woke up, his legs tangled with yours, still close to him, between his arms. Your breathing, calm and rhythmic, also made him relax, enjoying the sight of your body surrendering to the embrace of slumber. Soft moonlight still filtered on the room, casting a gentle glow through the windows, fighting against the Sun, which was starting to wake up too.

He smiled when he notices you do the same, a faint smile lingering at the corner of your lips.

Your room, illuminated by the soft moonbeams, looked different to him. The posters of musicians on the walls seemed to come alive in the pale light, as if whispering melodies that guided your dreams. He wondered what you were dreaming when your embrace around him tightened. He kissed your forehead, brushing stray hairs from your face, which slowly woke you up.

"Hey, pretty."

Instead of answering, you giggled, quickly getting on top of him, your legs resting on his sides, your nose brushing against his.

"Hi there, world star." You lie down, getting comfortable still on top of him. His hands travelled to your hips, caressing them, trailing shapes with the tip of his fingers.

"What time is it?" you whispered, your breath tickling his neck.

He took the first phone he could from the nightstand, trying with only one hand, refusing to let you move from on top of him.

"It's too early."

You giggled. "But what time?"

"Me time."

"Wha-? AH-"

His grip on you tightened, and he pinned you down this time, planting soft kisses all over your face. You laughed uncontrollably, one, because he's a loveable dork, and two, because it tickled, but you weren't going to say in case he'd use it against you.

"You're built like a brick!" You cackled, unable to push him off you.

"You love my strong arms, don't lie." He joked, flexing. Seo relaxed, trying not to crush you with his weight.

"I'm hungry, lung crusher."

"That's my line, you savage stealer."

"Get off and I'll make you coffee."

You both went downstairs, filling the place with giggles and light jokes.

"Hey, I'm actually sorry for yesterday. We only slept, and you could've done something better with the boys after getting the week off."

His voice was soft, words rolling off his tongue. “I prefer to be with you, the others can wait,” he said, eyes locked on yours. He wasn't going to say that he didn't care about sleeping with you —and by that he meant actual sleeping— because he loved waking up by your side, hiding his reason behind a lovestruck smile.

Suddenly, your head was spinning, at a loss for words. You couldn't quite place what was happening to you, why you were suddenly so reactive to every detail. It was a weird feeling that tickled in your chest, but you let yourself fall into it, the feeling of being loved and loving so new and daring that you couldn't get enough of it.

He sat on the stools as you took a mug for him, pouring 99% milk before microwaving it, then adding 1% coffee.

"As dark as your soul, mister."

"Very funny," he didn't laugh, not until he dunked the tip of his fingers into his drink, noticing that it was only lukewarm before splashing it on you with a flick.

He just stared at you with the same goofy smile that was on your face, while you cut some strawberries into smaller pieces, putting them into a yoghurt. He swallowed dry when he noticed you biting your lip in a sign of concentration.

"Whaddya looking at?" You said, in a somewhat sing-song voice. He just smiled, and you snickered, seeing him poking his cheek with his tongue. "Cat got your tongue?"

He laughed. "Just looking at you, hot stuff."

Your eyes opened wide, failing to hide a blush on your features that made Changbin cackle.

"Shut up, meanie," you snorted, watching him stand up, moving until he was behind you, pulling you into a back hug.

"I mean it."

You stared at him from above your shoulder, looking up and down.

"You're not too bad yourself."

[☆☆❁☆☆]

It was practically 6am after you both finished the impromptu make-out session. He stared at your lips, red and swollen.

"Don't smile like that, you cheeky bitch. Yours look exactly the same." You hit him softly on his chest, snorting, tenderly pecking him. “I need to do some arrangements, come with me? I’ll take you somewhere nice when the rest of the world is awake.”

He chuckled, letting you guide him, loving how your small hand fitted in his, fingers linking almost automatically. He took the stool as you combined the different types of greenery, playing some music on your phone.

He was going through his after noticing he had several texts from Chan, wondering if he should reply now, knowing how damn early it could be for someone who slept so little but decided to text anyways.

'red angry bird' not kidnapped yet, dw

Your heart did fuzzy things inside you, looking above your shoulder to the man behind you, spinning on the stool with his tiptoes, his messy bed hair and how your clothes looked on him making you soft.

You looked at your phone, noticing the next song on the queue and you smiled, turning around to approach him. He’s still on his phone.

“Hey, world star.” You kissed his forehead to get his attention. He freezes, his heart fluttering. “I think you know this one.”

He looked at you, losing himself in your features until he heard you singing. It was 'because', the song he sang with Felix, and you were just singing his part cause Lix’s voice was too deep for you to reach. He slowly joined your singing. Your voice, like a delicate yet powerful instrument, effortlessly blended with his, intertwining together in a melody that reverberated through the walls of the colourful flower shop. With each lyric, your voice carried the story he wrote, and he couldn't describe the feeling of happiness he achieved, knowing that you liked it too.

You kept working and singing, not noticing how he left the room. he came back with his black leather jacket in his hand, tenderly putting it on your shoulders. He took his wallet from the jacket's pocket, grabbing 20 bucks from the inside.

"Binnie, what-?"

He settled it on the table in front of you, and also carefully settled the book you gave him.

You stared at the title, "the language of flowers", curious.

His hand hugged you from behind, leaning down right next to your ear, and in an affectionate tone, he asked.

"How can I say I love you in flower?"

Your heart skipped a beat. You turned around to face him, seeing that he was hiding his other hand.

He showed you a small red chrysanthemum.

Due to the lack of an answer, his face turned worried.

"Please tell me I got it right."

You kissed him, giggling.

"I love you too, world star."

[☆☆❁☆☆]

~Kats, who now has high levels of sugar in her blood because of how fluff this was and has also lost her Duolingo strike bc she got distracted writing lol

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isa-ghost · 1 month

Note

I see you have hcs, do you have any for mr fitmc?

Yes!!

Here's some ones of his relationship with Phil past and present too bc I don't think I have Fit standalone ones until now.

Obviously these will apply to AMFMN Fit too!

Fit is extremely observant and perceptive. Years of roaming a wasteland, spending every minute of every day documenting, chronicling, exploring and witnessing so much really sharpens those kinds of skills. Not much gets past Fit unless he simply wasn't there or doesn't know. All it takes is an inkling and he'll start connecting dots and making theories.

It's why he Hates the Federation. Not only is he an anarchist, he hates the way they make it so easy to keep him in the dark. It's why he weaseled into it in the first position he could get. Being a janitor sucks, but it's something. Anything to get a foundation for making next moves.

He struggles with trust though. He trusts people, but very few if any does he trust whole-heartedly. Pac & Phil are likely the only ones he trusts that much. And even then, he doesn't confide in anyone nearly as deeply as he does Ramon. Spending so much of his life in 2B2T has taught him to reserve trust for people who prove without a doubt that they're ride or die with you. He wishes he didn't find it so difficult to trust more people though.

Okay complete 180 in vibes here but I'm very passionate about this one: Fit has a giant warhammer that's his weapon of choice. Chainsaw, scythe, potato cannon, whatever other stuff he's got is good. But big fucking hammer. With those muscles? Oughoughouhgh.

By the way he never in his life had experienced people simping for his muscles or flirting with him prior to being on QI. It was whiplash and it's changed him for the worst /pos

On the surface it seems like Fit is pretty cold or at least disinterested in stuff that leans on the vulnerable side. It's not entirely wrong, he's spent so long in a place where vulnerability gets your base blown to smithereens or gets you robbed blind or both. But he Does enjoy such things. I mean, just look at the Fitpac date! And hugs? Hugs rock! He'd be so much worse off if he didn't let loose or let himself lower his guard every now and then. It takes a lot of energy to keep those walls up, it'd be unhealthy to never let them down. Especially in a place like Quesadilla Island, where it seems like it's a bit safer to do so. Honestly, he's the opposite of disinterested in letting walls down. He wants that more than anything, and it took being put on QI, becoming a dad, and falling in love for him to realize it.

Which makes keeping up this facade really hard. Not just the whole "snooping for data" thing, just Everything Fit has built himself to be over the years altogether. He doesn't want to keep holding people at arm's length and looking over his shoulder all the time anymore. It's exhausting.

That's not to say he wouldn't relapse right back to how he was before QI softened him up, though. Again, those trust issues. Purgatory really fucked with his head for a while. And plenty of things that happened after, like the whole Phil Ender King thing, really didn't help either. What he's going through is a form of healing, and healing isn't linear.

He isn't afraid to get his hands dirty. Be it with dirt, blood, or otherwise. His motto is you gotta do what you gotta do. He's a very means to an end kinda guy. And despite wishing he could shed being so hardened by the 2B2T Wastelands, he does value that it's given him this kind of strength. It takes a lot to be willing to do whatever it takes to get what you want.

The reason Fit loves fofoca is not only because he enjoys indulging his inner drama whore. He's spent most of his life roaming a place where secrets were as good if not better of a trade than actual currency. When he first arrived on QI, he wasn't entirely sure how to just. Casually socialize. There's little to no risk in it. It was incredibly foreign to him. But it turns out that gossip is like trading secrets in a different font. He's good at that. So collecting and spreading fofoca is how he taught himself to appear kind of "normal" to the other islanders.

Most if not all of the above is also evidence to support the fact that Fit in general is a very adaptive person. You can put him in any environment, as soon as he gets the gist of the status quo and what kind of stakes he's dealing with here, he'll manage no problem. Chances are he's experienced worse. Purgatory and the prison are 2 good examples.

Calling back to the wanting to be vulnerable + confiding in Ramon the most things, GOD is he grateful he got such a brilliant son. Ramon learned a lot from him, but even so, he already had many of the same traits Fit does. It did wonders for bonding, and it's part of what made trusting Ramon come so easy. He's glad he got a son that's so understanding of the way he operates.

The only thing stopping him from taking a page from Cellbit and just starting to kill Feds for information or other reasons is because he knows he'll get more out of playing the long con and letting himself be strung along. Infiltration goes further than outright brutality in his eyes. Brutality is saved for something you no longer need anything from.

Btw his stealth skills are fucking insane. In 2B2T your detection is life or death, and it'll only end in your favor if you can talk sweet enough or have something worth bargaining with. He often did one or the other, but even so, a historian like him typically lacked anything of much value to most bandits and the like. He was simply charismatic and lucky. Which means staying hidden, laying low, and moving with more calculation than a math class is more beneficial to him. And boy has it come in handy on the island too.

In his time on QI, once The Horrors all started, he's learned he really likes having intense intellectual talks with other islanders. Strategizing, theorizing. It feels like the survival he's so used to but with less imminent threats on his life. Bagi especially is an absolute delight to get into these kinds of talks with. It feels like casual socializing and the kind of talking he's used to at the same time. Very much his jam.

#qsmp #qsmp fit #qsmp fitmc #q!fit #q!fitmc #fitmc #qsmp headcanons #AMFMN things

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totally-not-here-for-the-smut · 9 months

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So, @arcanavoid made me thinking about Lucio in their post

WELL THEN LETS TALK ABOUT LUCIO YOU BITCHES

Pleas keep in mind that I'm right now very drunk and I'm not a native speaker and the autocorrect for this phone can only do so much Also I'm in a different time zone so if you see this at, like 10 in the morning or whatever, no worries bc now is definitely night here and I also program my posts I have not a drinking problem thats why I cant hold my f-ing liquor

WELL THEN MY DEAR LUCIO and

WHY

as a person who is very close to people with serious mental illness, like i legit live with them

I THINK LUCIO'S ROUTE IS SO GREAT

Let's start with an assumption: we're all assholes. Somewhere in our life, maybe in the past, or present, or future, we are huge AH. It's not like we're evil and condemned to hell, it's just that as humans we're small, petty and miserable so we behave badly and are very selfish when big difficulties challenge us. Like, sometimes we manage to scramble enough willpower and common sense to act decently as we're afraid and suffering, but lots of times we don't and make shitty things. So here's my first point:

1. We all are a Lucio sometimes. Or often.

Like, way more than we want to admit. We're afraid, we're too full of ourselves, and we behave in petty ways. We're mean towards strangers, we feel happy in humiliating them and showing the world how better than anyone else we are. We need something bc we live in a world that doesn't grant basic human rights (food, shelter, health, safety and human connection), so we strain to get those things, sometimes at others' expenses. Then we tell ourself that those people deserved our scorn and malice because they're bad, and we tell us such lies because facing the guilt of what we've done is painful and complex.

We need to show ourselves we're better, so enjoy picking at others' mistakes without caring who they are in a whole (this is super easy on the internet). All this while low key ignoring what bad we're more or less responsible for.

And we are. Like, if you ever did buy something on sites like shein, you are actually exploiting poor people who are basically slaves. And you're keeping a blind eye on it.

But you know what? You're not evil for this. We're weak sometimes, we're tired, we have little time and really don't have the lucidity to think whether this stupid chicken breast is full of hormones and antibiotics or not. We're humans and we're small. Often we're sad, afraid and tired and we need a malicious self esteem bost.

Often, we're Lucio.

2. A flaming piece of trash can change. And doesn't need others' forgiveness to do so.

Did you notice how everyone is so eager to show of other people are wrong and bad and evil? That's because they, and we as well, need reassurance about how we're the hero of the story.

That's because we can't tolerate being the flaming piece of trash, because the the flaming piece of trash can't change and everyone hates them.

This idea is stupid.

It doesn't matter how low you fell. How many people you hurt, how many times you made the same stupid mistake or how many people deeply despise you. You still can change.

That's why is

Important

To have a Lucio route where it's shown he can choose to be better, no matter how deeply wrong his past deeds were.

The moment we understand this concept is the one our guilt becomes less heavy and we start being less judging of others. Granted.

This doesn't mean you're entitled to people's forgiveness - but the fact that YOU are willing to forgive yourself means that you can really change and forgive others. If some people won't forgive you, it will be fine, no need to hate them: you can always find new people to gift your better self to.

This is what happens to Lucio. Will Asra ever truly forgive him for making him and orphan and killing you? No. But this doesn't mean that Lucio will be a villain forever. He will be still able to change, become a good man and gift his goodness to the MC.

As MC says to Julian: you can always come back.

3. What it takes to change

Now, I'm in general rly humble when talking about mental health bc I'm no doctor nor therapist. But living with people who went through hell and managed to survive (and knowing people who sadly didn't), made me able to figure a couple of things. So, brace yourself. I'm about to give you the ultimate recipe of healing.

It takes two things:

Compassion and Accountability

When all is said and done, this things are the two main things it takes to change and heal. Compassion for believing you can change and deserve happiness, seeing the world through other people's eyes and accountability to motivate you into stop being a dick and owning the shit you did (so yeah, maybe you should stop blaming your parents for who you are, sry, but it doesn't serves your cause).

and there's one and only one way to get them:

Positive human connections.

That's it. When you go to the bone to it, that's how one can change, heal and survive.

It's reduced to the very bone, simple idea: the whole process is much more complicated and it's ok if you get lost in it. But at the very root, this is it.

And this is WHY Lucio's route it's so great:

MC shows compassion, because they don't recall him doing anything bad to them.

MC helps him being accountable. They doesn't shelter Lucio from his guilt, never.

MC believes in them but NEVER puts up with their shit

MC doesn't believe his lies and doesn't lie to them either. No games: they talk through everything, they're kind but firm and true.

MC helps him accept other people's scorn towards him

I love this route because it's the one where the MC is the most clever. There's a murder mistery? Let's ask the ghost of the murdered one who did it. Everyone is mad at him? Let them be. Not bc "he deserves it", but bc people are entitled to be mad at him and to their idea about him. He has troubles with his mother? Don't get between them. Listen, understand, let them unravel their shit. Ghosts are mad at him? Sit with him, but don't do his emotional weightlifting. Mc puts Lucio in front of his deeds and holds his hand as he deals with them.

Folks: THIS is how it's done irl.

4. No dumb justification & the danger of privilege

There are a lot of shows about "why villains are like this" that paint them as a poor misunderstood saint who was mistreated by their parents. Like in Once Upon a Time or the Disney Villain's Live actions. I hate that stuff because they distort the plot to make the villain a misunderstood anti heroe who was a victim all along, so he's justified.

Guess what: they're not. If you actions are evil there's no justification. No retelling of your story: you made very bad choice and were an AH and that's it.

This is what happens with Lucio: in his route his story doesn't gets to be retold. It's an honest story about how Lucio, the villain, can choose to be the better man and benefit from it. It's a story about the inherent dangers of Privilege:

Lucio's story shows how dangerous privilege can be: he wasn't hold accountable for his actions while he was alive, bc he was pretty, powerful and rich. He loses his privilege, he gets his ass kicked, he find motivations to change in his desire to be loved. I know irl folks who got to adulthood without having to face how shitty they were bc of social privilege. It literally kept them from changing, healing and be happy. So beware, folks. Your privilege might be harming you in the first place, and the day you will face who you truly are without it WILL come. The later, the worst.

So, this is why I love Lucio's route. It's relatable and helps us to find the courage to face our demons, knowing that we can change. Knowing that we can forgive ourselves and accept others' scorn. It WILL be hard, it WILL be painful, there WILL be consequences, but eventually it will be worth the hassle.

So, long live the goatman, for he can change. And so do we.

#the arcana #the arcana game #lucio morgasson #lucios route #the arcana files

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minniiaa · 4 months

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Luffy’s transition from ‘cute lil guy’ to ‘he will blow someone’s back out so hard it’ll feel like they got hit by a goddamn semi truck but it was so good they’re begging for more’ needs to be studied bc he was always just a special lil guy with crazy abs but Wano made him a MAN (he’s still a special lil guy though)

I thought there was a 0% chance I’d ever simp for this little rubber man. Then I saw him in Wano and was like oh god. Oh no. After that, I finally started thinking about how Luffy would be as a lover (if you do not want to listen to me ramble feel free to stop reading here. My point has been made thank you for your time.)

(They/them pronouns bc I don’t think Luffy would think twice about a persons gender. He likes people for being who they are inside and is totally unfazed by “social norms”)

Luffy is def a virgin who never really considered sex. He would never be the one to initiate it first but if he deeply trusted the person and they told him it would feel good he’d do it without a second thought.

In the beginning he would be sloppy and pretty clueless, lots of teeth and tongue. But he has insane adaptability and sense for other’s emotions and after a little bit it would all make sense to him. Once he gets it they are toast and he’ll have them melting into a puddle under his fingers within minutes. He loves to bite and lick but he knows exactly how to use his mouth to drive the person wild. His kisses are harsh and definitely still sloppy because he’s greedy. He would slurp the person up like they’re grape juice and tell them how amazing they taste. He’s loud and talkative too, not afraid to tell and show them just how much he likes it.

Luffy also has ungodly stamina and even if his partner is already fucked out of their mind he’d just be like “sorry, can’t stop yet feels too good. just hang in there” until he’s had his way with them.

Afterwards, he’d be grinding against their leg like a dog in heat begging for more because he’s never satisfied. He’ll give up eventually purely because he can tell they’re exhausted and would never actually hurt them. He’d wrap them in his arms and give the best cuddles on the planet because touching the ones he loves is like a drug to him. He gives lots of praise and affection not just because he cares about them but because sex is almost as good as meat—both make him feel good and are delicious and just like meat he will always tell them that they’re so good.

Sex with this person would become Luffy’s favorite (well 2nd favorite let’s be honest meat wins) thing and after he got a taste of it that person is toast. He’s never letting them go. He’s finding them and dragging you away to the nearest private place the second he gets hungry for them. If he’s not fucking they they’re by his side. They’re in his lap or vice versa, he’s napping with them, touching their arms, or he’s just talking to them constantly like the rest of his crew.

As for romance, Luffy doesn’t really understand romantic love, he may or may not feel it but he simply doesn’t care enough to think about it. All that matters is that he wants that person by his side forever and would do anything to ensure it happens. He’d sacrifice himself to save their life without question. He’s a ride or die type till the very end.

In conclusion, Luffy would be the best lover/partner and this totally was not meant to be a Luffy character analysis/thirst post but here we are. I have no shame.

#this is a Luffy simp post #luffy headcanons #one piece #luffy #monkey d. luffy #monkey d luffy #op headcanons #brainrot #am I falling into the top Luffy trap?#yes I think so #I am degen and I am free #impressed with myself for that run in sentence in the beginning

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literaphobe · 3 months

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who does adrien love more, ladybug or marinette?

HELLO ANON. i honestly love that u sent this. hard hitting potentially controversial questions are fun to me. i love analyzing and breaking down my writing and characters. also this is about tvl adrichat to anyone who’s seeing this <- im assuming so bc u sent it after I posted ch7

anyway, based on ch1-7, but also how tvl adrichat is in general, id say in simple terms, He Doesn’t Love One More Than The Other

in general, he thinks he shouldn’t be in love with either of them. ladybug, he sees as a door that’s been closed since jubilation. he turns that doorknob open, takes a peek every now and then, heart tightens at the sights he steals. but he’s been under the impression that they are Just Friends. he set that very boundary on his own, on multiple occasions, not to reject her—because ladybug never Properly came clean about being in love with him—but to remind himself that they weren’t a line he should cross. that is, until she revealed her plans and repressed desires to sleep with him. and then black and white swirled together to burn and blare flashing red sirens

and then as of right now in tvl, he’s falling into her arms but still sort of wary about everything he gets to enjoy. he’s afraid it’s too much and that she’ll realize that soon enough, can barely believe it’s still happening/has happened in the first place, and the indefinite nature of the situation is read as Temporary to him. it’s why he acts/acts out in bizarre ways, and tvl ladybug winds up accommodating him in ways she THINKS is sexual, but for him is usually deeply emotional

a part of him in still in denial. his plan from the get go was to not fall in love with ladybug again. he’s admitted several times to the readers that he thinks he’s doomed. but he hasn’t exactly crossed that final line, seen his tragedy for what it was -> he’s been in love with her from the start, and it’s only getting worse, the worst it’s ever been

SO. that brings me to tvl marinette. how does tvl adrichat’s love for her compare? as it has been alluded to/straight up mentioned on occasion across the chapters, tvl marinette broke up with tvl adrien years ago, but never properly explained to him why. they also remained friends, however awkward that was, best friends you could say, enduring high school and university and now they are even navigating working life together!! by literally having their jobs be intertwined. in ch7, it is implied that tvl adrichat hates his job. he mentions wanting to quit for more time with her on several occasions. undoubtedly though, he was also not being too serious, because actually going through with it would mean leaving marinette jobless

no, tvl adrichat isn’t over marinette. he doesn’t really think he is, especially before the events of tvl, and those first few years of their breakup. because he never received an explanation, the uncertainty of the whole situation, and the lack of space or boundaries they didn’t bother to establish in their friendship, a part of him just HOPED she’d change her mind, come around, and take him back. especially since all those years had her dating No One, and he followed suit because he wanted to be with her (and more importantly he just wasn’t interested in anyone else. his life oscillates between Bug Lady and Clumsy Girl)

random tidbit. in ch1 tvl adrichat mentions that he forgets everything that happens when he’s drunk, and this is why he was confused that tvl ladybug Remembered what happened to her when she was absolutely hammered. I’ll let u all make of that however u will

with tvl marinette, as seen in ch4, through adrien’s perspective GETS JEALOUS and appears somewhat into him still -> which is absolutely torturous and difficult because he’s well aware most of her confusing signals ARENT synonymous with wanting to date him again. she has this power and ability to turn his world topsy turvy that she isn’t fully aware of, and what she IS aware of makes her severely guilty

if his situation w ladybug is a closed door that creaks open from time to time, marinette is a house they’re still in together, but every time he sees her in a room, she walks into a different one. so, in conclusion, they both devastate him, and any time he’s with either of them, things aren’t easy on his heart in any sense at all

WHOOPS! poor guy!!

#ask #tvl #tvl ch7 #hi guys!!!!! thanks so much for the recent comments on the new chapter #so stoked to see people love it!!!#hoping more people get to catch up bc i really love hearing all ur thoughts!!!#also i hope this was an enjoyable analysis!!!!#feel free to ask me more questions about stuff ur curious about and want me to unpack!!!!!

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monstress · 1 year

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hii. if u dont mind, could u please share that "change of attitude" towards journaling? i feel like i really need that.. since i myself changed my attitude towards drawing and have been much more productive and happy doing it this last year. however Writing About Myself its another beast completely.. hope u r having a nice day! 🍃

hope you're having a lovely day as well! anyways as i was typing this up, what starts as a small tidbit has gone off the rails so i suppose this is my blanket advice as a newbie in journaling:

the materials!

choosing the titular journal aka notebook:

soft vs hard cover - i didn't realize this is SUCH a deciding factor until much later. most people prefer soft covers since journals can get massive with use but it's very subjective. be tactile - if it just don't feel right in ur hands, it's not gonna be something u reach out for when u have free time.

size - the most common sizes are A5, A6 or regular aka travelers notebook. you have to think abt who you are as a writer. do u have a large handwriting that takes up pages and pages? do you like space or are you overwhelmed by a blank page? do you travel a lot and do u want something unobtrusive in your bag? choose something that will reasonable work as a part of your daily life.

paper texture - paper that is smooth to write in are a great source of pleasure. notebooks with 100gsm paper is a good benchmark.

price - pleaseeee do not break the bank to purchase a fancy notebook. an expensive notebook can become an unloved one. you'd be too stressed to ensure every entry is perfect and pretty enough and the notebook eventually becomes too intimidating for you to fill in. check out your local hypermarket or online stores for quality notebooks. moleskins are overrated--in my country, they are v v expensive so don't feel pressure to buy a certain stationary just bc you see them often on ig/tiktok like my journal cost me approximately RM10 (USD2.34) and my new one w 100gsm paper cost me RM17 (USD4) like affordable options are out there!

build a connection with your notebook - listen...this sounds strange but having an attachment with your journal and making it inviting as possible is a great source of motivation. personalize it: add stickers, doodle or paint the cover. get a fabric/pvc cover to keep it clean if you'd like (you can add lil papers/stickers on ur actual notebook cover before putting on the pvc cover! very cute and easy)

and your pens:

again: less is more! use any relatively cheap pens you like - be it for the ink or smoothness. if you want to journal a lot, expect to lose a few pens during traveling or just around the house lmao

for fans of darker inks like me, i use Uni-ball Signo Broad, M&G R3 retractable gel pen and my favorite: Faber Castell RX Gel Pen 0.38mm - which cost like RM1.49 (i dont wanna convert - it's change money in america)

final note: i don't use fountain pens so i'm afraid i'm not well-versed enough to advise in that department but i deeply respect (and a little in awe) of journallers who use them 🫡

the tenet!

purpose: what do u plan to use the notebook for? daily journal? art journal? planner? all three? it's your life! live deliciously! since i have a 9-5 job, i know i can't keep up with more than one journal so i've been using mines as a diary and i dump my daily activities/thoughts/reviews of all kinds of media i'm currently obsessed with and it fills up quick!

don't be too hard on yourself: if you missed a day or two of journalling, it's fine - take it back up. write down anything memorable you'd like in the past few days. if you come across a certain blank page your brain is blanking to fill, perhaps after a previous dark entry, skip the page. skip two pages if needed. don't be scared of blank pages. if it needs to be blank, let it be.

it doesn't have to only be words! add stickers, dried flowers, receipts, ticket stubs, other ephemera you collected in the day. be artful! go crazy on page decoration!!

if there's anything you take away from this post, it's this: if you truly want a journal that is used up quickly, do not have plans to share it on social media. personally, i find once you are in the mindset of sharing your journal for an audience's consumption, you get worried whether it's "aesthetic" enough or is it too boring or too ugly or too dark or that you don't upload regularly enough. social media can be inhibiting your creativity or motivation to journal like let your animal brain ruminate in private! stay free from the shackles of responsibility!

#answered #poseida #journals #journaling tips #also in return i need to know what u did to change your attitude with drawing! i need to get back on that horse!

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bnnywngs · 1 year

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there's something in wangxian fanfics that i hate and that is when any character tries to "cure" wwx's cynophobia

although i don't have a phobia, i /am/ afraid of dogs, especially the big ones, the lil babies not so much bc they're cute and i can always jump somewhere high enough they won't get me bc they're, you know, tiny

and something that i deeply hate is when someone says "you don't have to be afraid, they don't bite" like it's so simple, because, let me tell ya, IT'S NOT!!! it's not something i can decide on a whim that it's ok to pat a big ass dog's head because it's owner told me they don't bite, because it's not a switch i can turn on or off. YES i know they won't bite because they're basically smiling at me but those huge teeth, the huge mouth, just being beside it my heart beats so hard, so loud, and there's fear running through my whole body and the need to just run away or idk jump to the roof like a cat and be stuck

it's like when you're afraid of heights (I ALSO HAVE THAT BTW) and someone says "just don't look down" and haha fuck you???

anyway, what i hate in fanfics is when wwx is deeply afraid of a dog and the character begins "hey it's ok, they won't bite, look they're sitting still" like he can just stop feeling fear after that, magically, suddenly. and then they make him touch said dog, like peer pressure or something, and oh suddenly from nowhere at all wwx starts liking dogs and i hate that

it makes me fell bad i'm still afraid of dogs?? it's not easy to navigate life with this while almost everyone around you are dog lovers/parents/tutors 🥹 and most strangers can and will make you feel bad about it, like it's just a whine, a passing thing, you're just too picky

"why are you afraid, they're so docile!!" well, i almost lost my lower lip to a dog i hugged when i was 6, and then almost lost my knee to a huge one less then 10yrs later, but i'm sure you think it's nothing

pls do remember wwx almost died because of street dogs and that's the root of his fear, he probably have scars through his body from that time

anyway this is my personal opinion ✌🏽 happy holidays i guess

#personal rant #mini rant #i don't hate dogs i promise you #but if i can stay away from them i will #i have funny stories tho #jumping around to scape dogs do that to you #i crossed so many streets just because there was a dog walking towards me #wwx canonical fear of dogs #mdzs wei wuxian #wei wuxian #wwx freezes and scream #i freeze and whine #at least my close friends who have dogs always help me #and keep their dogs away from me #love them #my family used to have a tiny one #i miss him #sorry for bad english

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sincerelyandyourstruly · 3 months

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shame, devotion, and venxiao

it is not a sin to want.

yet somehow, there is such shame to it.

maybe it's just me, but "desire" is such a loaded word. i think that's why i find it so difficult to deal with. to want something so earnestly, from so deep within one's heart… how is that not simply THE most mortifying thing on the planet?

it's kind of funny. xiaoven— though most particularly xiao— must come to terms with their selfish desires that are not going to go away n be vulnerable w/each other abt their ugliest selves in order to be accepted n truly loved, at which point shame loses its incredible power over them, and they can be together forever in love for realsies.

because it's easy to imagine a xiao, who, out of love and devotion towards venti, his savior and the god of freedom, might feel like he can only express the sheer depth of his emotions by tugging down the stiff collar of his shirt to bare his own neck for execution.

(that is how one feels towards a god, is it not? this sort of vulnerability, a willingness to die for them, born from a desire to be good.)

and i use the imagery of undressing and invoke the sense of waiting for someone else's actions upon you intentionally here. it ties xiao's sense of intimacy up with power over his life, and as a being who struggles to separate his very sense of self from violence itself, i think it would make sense that death and intimacy are linked to him.

i think a big reason why he's so reluctant to give up his duty to someday die quelling demons for the peace and prosperity of liyue is because he's afraid that wanting something, anything might break the centuries of rigid discipline that's kept him alive after all this time. to love something, to want something, is to then die for it.

and like. i think it's pretty obvious that venti would not want to hold that power over xiao, if xiao tried to express his love by essentially giving over his entire life into venti's hands. it's so lacking in boundaries on xiao's end that even if that's what xiao himself wants, it would ultimately be the most horrifying (yet still earnest!!!) show of devotion to venti.

and so. it's probably fairly obvious from all this that this push-n-pull of desires is part of what makes xiao n venti's relationship so compelling to me personally. they're arguing abt things that are so deeply a part of them: xiao's self-destructive obedience vs. venti's bleeding heart and ideal of freedom. it's kind of... dare i say... yaoi.

obviously, in the context of fandom, there is a difference btwn xiaoven and venxiao. like, technically it's about top and bottom discourse, but outside of nsfw contexts, it's more about power dynamics, about who follows and who leads in a relationship.

i tend not to care too much, since i get weirded out if it feels too… overt? controlling? one-sided? n it starts feeling like the characters are just becoming bastardized "Any Two Guys."

but, like, as may be obvious by the common ship name being xiaoven, fandoms typically have a preference. it makes sense— xiao is v physically strong, n he has this very curt, no-nonsense, straightforward way of doing things, while venti is usually mistaken for a girl by people new to genshin. in concept, it could be fun to see xiao lead a more uncertain venti around n be the more decisive, aggressive pursuer of the relationship.

HOWEVER. relationships are based in feelings n are therefore much more human things. that is definitely not smth xiao is familiar with or experienced in at all. that is venti's area of expertise.

n xiao is a character i like to characterize by his devotion n his obedience. he's not the type to come up w/a procedure for acting in situations where he is totally unfamiliar w/what's happening bc his procedure will probably be aggressive "hit it 'till it dies." in situations involving others, he can't do that, so he's left pretty helpless in situations all about ~feelings~ and stuff.

now, venti is the more human one, in the sense that he has a much greater understanding of how we chase our whims on the breeze. he knows how to navigate these kinds of emotional, dare i say intimate, situations— which is why xiao would look to him for guidance in navigating these things. he wants to be told what to do bc he is a weapon, a violent tool w/no agency of his own (or at least as he likes to think).

xiao's repression is very internalized. he knows he is someday doomed, so why bother letting himself want anything. (why dare to hope when he doesn't believe himself worthy of venti's love in return?)

despite the horrifying levels of devotion i believe xiao to be capable of, i also firmly believe that he can later learn to rein in the self-destructive aspects of it w/o diminishing the value of those feelings. there's something oh-so lovely about self-love taught through loving others and others loving you, about watching something self-destructive and dangerous fall victim in love to something that can withstand its horrors and love it anyway, love it enough to make destroying itself no longer feel worth it.

after all, one of the most romantic answers one could give to the old, "i would die for you" absolutely has to be, "we are going to make it out of this together."

and in my opinion, that's pretty venxiao.

#xiaoven #i've been agonizing over how to adapt this for tumblr bc it was originally a diary entry from almost two years ago now #but it's kind of a prerequisite reading for one of my fave xv essays; the one abt 'no switch' that i've been wanting to xpost for MONTHS #the other reason this one's been crazy hard to adapt is bc i built it off a bit of unpublished fic i was working on actively at the time #but i'm not abt to analyze my own unpublished fic here on tumblr for meta so i had to extricate it (difficult)#long post #this post is still kind of all over the place which makes sense. i'm very all over the place and its origins as a diary entry #obvs make it very personal. and also subsequently all over the place. hopefully i balanced the personal aspects properly

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