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#and deciding to form his own society where he accepts and cares for all the people shunned by the golden order
benevolentslut · 1 year
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wait i just had a theory
#so. malenia and miquella are twins right#obv they look different ages because of miquella's curse but they're twins#what if.#what if they were originally identical twins#and malenia is trans#and also her hair turned red from the scarlet rot's influence but it was naturally the same blonde as miquella#im headcanoning this now you can't change my mind#'but you see her naked and she clearly doesn't have-' that area is covered in rot scars obv it rotted off#the outer god of rot gave her free bottom surgery ig lol#hey with the way the golden order is it adds more to why her family didn't give a shit about her being cursed by the scarlet rot#they're just transphobic#that's in character considering they locked away two of their children for being born with horns#doesn't surprise me that they'd look at malenia coming out and just go 'oh well shame about that rot that's gonna kill you'#adds in even more reasoning for miquella to be outraged at them neglecting her situation#and deciding to form his own society where he accepts and cares for all the people shunned by the golden order#yeah no okay this started out half as a joke hc but i think im gonna die on this hill now#malenia is trans and that's that#ALSO adds more reason to why malenia is so devoted to her brother#he's the only one from her family that accepted her#yes in canon he's the only one who tried to help her with the rot (and his success is what earned him his title/nickname)#and that's plenty reason why she would be#but this works out in my mind
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dj-spiderman · 10 months
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Request: Hey! So Miguel is my new obsession and I would just love to request this: So Miguel x male reader where the male reader reminds miguel of his daughter so he's overprotective and take son a fatherly role. I was thinking either that the reader gets hurt and Miguel accidentally calls him Gabriella so angst, or it's just a second chance for Miguel to be a father for a kid that needs it
ARAÑITO
- Miguel O’Hara & Child!reader
- Genre: Platonic fluff
- Synopsis: Jessica and Miguel decide to take you back to HQ for recovery, but with the slow process, Miguel grows a bit too attached to allow for you to leave his sight. Talk about fatherly instincts.
- A/N: Reader can be depicted as any age, though is written to be relatively in his teenage years. The Spanish used is from google translate, my apologies for any mistakes! If any Spanish users would like to correct anything, please do!
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Jessica was the one to find you. Up against a vulture far from your own. Grotesque teeth exposed by an uncanny snarl. A thick substance, that could possibly be identified as saliva, dripping down onto his face as he was pinned beneath heavy talons.
Hushed and rapid wheezes and curses slipping past busted lips. The taste of metal heavy on your tongue as you grasp onto the heavy ankle, desperately trying to remove it from your collapsing chest. Weak pleas being spat, no clue as to whether they were aloud or echoing throughout your thoughts.
Vision spotting and a sense of doom filling your gut, your body gave out and you lied limp. So close to death that you simply accepted it.. until…
A large blur of blue and red tackled the man off of yourself. Leaving you to jolt up wheezing and coughing. Tears welling up in your eyes as the pregnant woman soothed you. “Sh, sh, shh.. we’ve got you now. Gonna be alright.”
Miguel works hard to take down the vulture, pinning him down with large claws and an open jaw. A similar state as to what the creature had you into before, only less patience as he locks his jaw down in a venomous bite.
Of course, by the time he’s finished, you’re unconscious after having the adrenaline wear off. Slack body held in Jessica’s motherly hold as she gives a knowing look towards the larger man.
“You can’t be serious,” he groans, walking past her and opening a portal.
“He’s injured Miguel! We can’t just leave him here.” She argues in turn, scolding the man. “He’s just a kid..”
The man pauses, slouched over and running hands through his hair as he groans. “Fine, but only for recovery.” He mutters, to which Jessica happily carries your unconscious form through the portal.
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The moment you wake up, you’re disoriented and blinded by bright lights. It’s all overstimulating; the lights, the constant beeping, and the static like touch all over your body.
It takes a moment to gather your surroundings, whining softly as you anxiously look around. Shaky hands lift up to try and remove the nasal cannula, only to be stopped by a much larger and warmer hand.
“I don’t suggest removing that, it’s helping you breathe.” You don’t know who this man is, but his words are gentle and you simply relax back and leave the tube alone, it’s better that way. “You fractured a few ribs in your fight, bruised a lung, but nothing aggressively serious.” The stranger huffs, seemingly checking the bandages that wrapped around your torso.
“W-who…” Your throat is sore and dry, it hurts to speak with the conditions. Your words puffed out with a wheeze and wince.
“Miguel O’Hara, head of the spider-society.” The stranger introduces himself, sitting back with a grunt. “You’re only being kept here because of your injuries. As soon as you’re healed, you’re gone.”
Such manners he had, you thought with a small glare. You didn’t need someone to take care of you, let alone someone who hated you from the start.
This was already the worst thing you’ve ever dealt with.
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It had been a couple days now, your recovery going slow as you remained bed rested with little movement. Today was Jessica’s day to check on you, but rather the warm woman, you were met with two younger men.
“So you’re the mystery spider!” The smaller of the two cheers, eagerly rushing up to you. “Miguel refuses to let anyone see you!” His energy big, like that of a puppy’s.
The taller, more punk-themed man stepped forwards, tinkering around with some of the many machines. “‘Course, we’re not ‘onna listen to that old bloke.” He mumbles, finally making his way over. “‘m Hobie, Hobie Brown.”
You only watch, eyes drifting over to the former man. “Pavitr Prabhakar!” He cheerfully informs, poking around at your IV’s and breathing support.
Eventually the nimble fingers cause your IV to slip out, causing a wince of pain from yourself. And as scary as it was, Miguel himself appears in the doorway. A nasty scowl on his face as he glares down to the younger men. “Pavitr, Hobie, our.” He practically snarls.
For someone without a spider-sense, he was scarily good at sensing when something was wrong. Perhaps his AI, you thought, glancing towards his watch as though it’s where she was kept.
With the two strangers gone, it’s just you and Miguel. He’s pacing, pinching the bridge of his nose as he goes on about something. “¡Le dije a Jessica, le dije que no los dejara acercarse a ti! ahora estas herido..”
You’re not quite sure what he’s on about, but he seems upset with himself. He spares an apologetic glance your way, walking over and gently caressing the skin from which your IV was pulled.
“This is going to sting, arañita.” He coos in a tone you’ve never heard before, holding down on your arm as he slips the IV back in. Hushing and coddling you as you whine in pain. The flinch you give only causes more pain from your ribs. Tears welling up as a bodily reaction to the pain. “I know, I know.. hurts, doesn’t it, arañito?”
You’ve never seen this side to him. It almost feels like trap. Luring you into a false sense of trust only to tear you apart..
Your small cries cause him to hold you close against his chest, whispering about how brave you were. It felt fatherly, almost. Something bitterly familiar. You never did have a good relationship with your own father.. maybe this was a second chance?
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Days turned into weeks. Your recovery a slow process, but you were improving. You were allowed to walk within the medical room, though Miguel refused to let you leave his sight. You were only allowed to explore alongside him, told you that he had to “keep you safe”.
You usually obeyed his wishes, but the boredom was just so aggravating.. it wasn’t like he would know either way. So, you left the room, stumbling along halls and bridges in search for something fun to do.
You near scream, as though you could in your condition, as a masked horse mindlessly knocks you to the ground. The cowboy atop seemingly panicked as he begins anxiously apologizing, but it’s not you he’s speaking to.
An all too familiar shadow peers over your small, ‘fragile’ form. Above you, Miguel stands with a menacing glare. He does not at all seem happy about the incident, or your little ‘escape’.
“Get that damn horse under control, cabron.” He practically snarls, immediately pulling you into the comfort of his large arms. It’s no surprise when he begins coddling you and checking for injury. He was always this overprotective of you.
“Are you okay, arañito? He didn’t hurt you did he? Why are you out of your room..? Were you hungry? Cold? Lonely even?” He continues to question you, holding you to his chest. “You know you can just call for papa, I’ll be there as soon as you need me.”
That was another thing, Miguel had taken it upon himself to have you call him papa. He was constantly spoiling you or doting on you. It was.. strange.
You hadn’t even noticed when the man began dragging you back to your bedroom, scolding you softly. “You know better than to leave, you could get hurt.. scared me so bad arañita…” he’s lying you in your bed, tucking you in and taking a seat on the edge.
“You know I’m just trying to protect you… trying to be a good father.” He seems so genuine, it makes you feel guilty.
“Lo lamento, papa…” He seems genuinely shocked to hear you speak, let alone in Spanish. Supposed you had picked up on a few words within your stay.
A small smile plays at his lips, glancing your way as he speaks. “It’s alright arañita, I know you didn’t mean to scare me..” he reaches over, gently stroking your hair back. “Just promise me you won’t leave me… please don’t leave me..” he seems to be upset with the idea, and so you agree to his terms.
Nodding softly as you take hold of his large hand, gently playing with the rough, yet warm, flesh. “Sí.. won’t leave… never..”
And it was true. You didn’t have plans to leave, not when he was such a good father. Not when he gave you reason to trust him. He offered you safety and love, and in turn, you’d be his arañito.
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isa-ghost · 8 months
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Hey Isa!! So I haven’t really been following the QSMP, I’ll admit, but I heard about the recent angst of the “Cage for a cage” situation, and I’m very intrigued! What are Philza and Wilbur’s stories in the QSMP? I’d love to know more! Also where could I find all their footage to catch up?
Well Wilbur's sorta yeeted into the void bc of Lovejoy things, so there's not much to talk about on his front. He has his egg daughter Talullah, who Phil is looking after and has adopted as his own at this point bc its been months, and that's kinda it as far as major keypoints go for Wilbur lore. That and he canonized (or tried to?) him/Phil father/son dynamics again. Haven't heard much from the community if we accepted that as canon or as a Wilbur Bit Because Of Course He Tried To Canonize That Again.
Phil lore on the other hand. OUGH. I don't know where to start, it feels like so little and so much at the same time. Which is funny bc this motherfucker is so allergic to lore despite being a bomb ass rper (I have 11+ years experience rping, this man is rp veteran approved). I get timezones exist and whatnot & he's usually 3-4 hours into a stream already by the time he gets on QSMP to begin with, but he dodged so much of The Horrors for so long. This week has been an outlier and the crows are suffering thriving.
As far as his lore (in a simplified tldr) goes: Ancient bird man wired for nothing but survival gets plopped on a weird island with other English speakers & Spanish speakers. Shit Is Weird And Continues To Be, but all the islanders make friends with eacg other. They're *emotionally slams fist on table* levels of tightknit. Phil especially is always so ready to help anyone out. Timeskip a month or so, Island Federation decides to play matchmaker and then make said matches parents. They're given a dragon's eggs because Dragon Gone ??? Phil acquires egg kid and raises them to be a careful & loving powerhouse like himself (& then later gets second egg kid who's meant to be Wilbur's) only for the island he's stuck on to throw every wrench at him they can in the form of mobs, federation people, trivial ass tasks given by said feds, and more. The longer things go on the worse they get, and ancient man's biggest weakness is his two kids who keep getting used against him. But ancient bird man is an anarchist, this federation can pound sand. Federation doesn't like that! Ancient bird man get punished. (And that's skipping chunks of things, but I have the memory of a peanut so I'll leave better summaries to someone better equipped.) Also when he's not experiencing the horrors he has at least 4 other men thirsting for him at any given time and he donowalls their advances beautifully while also playing into their flirting and thirsting at the same time because he has No /R Thoughts, Only Goddess Wife and egg children. Goddess wife also encourages his unintentional yaoi-ing.
I DO know you can catch up on QSMP lore via the official recap channel "QSMP Info" on YouTube! There's two videos out so far so the recaps aren't caught up to date yet, but they're made by the admins of the server, so they're thorough and accurate.
There's also a Phil VODs channel that's run by one of the most devoted PEGS (Philza Early Gang Society, Phil's offline chatters <3) in the crow community. I'm sure they have every single QSMP vod uploaded (but strap in, Phil's not a 1-3 hour stream andy, he's a 5-8 hour stream chad). Most times, he does Hardcore first then QSMP later (though I think a few times while playing TOTK he'd get on later too so ??? Good luck?) so realistically despite being a 5-8 hour stream chad, there's only 2-4 hours of QSMP in the vod, you just gotta skim through the last half of the vod. For reference, you'll want to search for vods from March 22nd, 2023 to now. That's how long QSMP has been going. It'd be laborious to fish out every crumb of QSMP stream time but I do genuinely think it's worth it just to see how things on the island develop and why so many people are screaming about The Horrors every day.
I'm sure you could also scrape around YouTube for like. Fanmade recaps, perhaps even Phil-centric ones, though I'd be wary of ones that have character analysis rather than just the plain ol stream content a) because they won't have every bit of footage & b) Sometimes People Are Wrong About Characters. You could also dig for clips of major moments (Phil has some on his Phil Clips YT but they're mostly funny) but that'd probably not give you the whole picture if you wanna be slamming your fists on the table and screaming like a monkey with the rest of us LOL.
There's also plenty of livebloggers who scream as streams progress, so check out some tags maybe. The main one is probably #qsmp liveblogging but that'll be any & all member POVs so it's not the most helpful resource but an idea nonetheless. You'd probably be better off looking through #qsmp philza or #q!philza or something, you'd just have to sift through creative works, memes & shitposts too.
Any crows who follow me that might have more/better resources are welcome & encouraged to reblog or reply to this and add Phil lore summaries (and your character analyses bc Phil mains are trustworthy) or more things to check out in order to get all the Good Shit Lore(TM) btw!
(Reblogging might also help this reach crows who DO have more/better suggestions or the capability to recap Phil lore thoroughly, so please do that. :] )
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shyvioletlife · 2 years
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I finally have a quiet moment so I wanted to write down my thoughts about Andera and Binx's relationship.
From the get-go I've deeply deeply appreciated Omar making Andhera ace - the fact that he didn't originally intend that for the character, that andhera was supposed to be the brooding romantic hero of a regency story all the way until omar opened his mouth, is just so intensely relatable. I love andhera's absolute inability to flirt, to grasp what someone would do to successfully seduce someone, the utter panic at thinking that someone has fallen in love with him and immediately running to bring that back to friendship because, respectfully, no. All of that is done with the mask up, trying to maintain the facade of alloness in a society that demands it.
Their relationship with binx has become something precious to me. It began with friendship, two people who happened to meet in the first episode and managed to bond through their complementary energies. Andhera is extremely awkward as they try to maintain the mask he believes is necessary to maintain his image, but is very genuine and straightforward in their attempts to make a connection, make friends, with the people they like. Where Andhera is a stuttering mess, Gwyn/Binx doesn't mince words and simply says whatever is on their mind, but in an equally socially awkward way of saying the quiet things loudly. She is also extremely straightforward and heartfelt in her intentions. It makes so much sense to me that two people earnestly seeking friendships in both word and action would fall in line with one another so easily.
From the start, they were both looking to one another a helping hand, for friendship, for companionship in a harsh and unforgiving world. You can see it in Gwyn asking andhera for help during the Hart Hunt. In andhera's shell pal letter that followed that cemented their friendship (My Dearest Gwyndolin, no you're not *MY* dearest anything. YOUR Dearest Gwyndolin) And then Binx revealed their true form during the battle for the crystal heart and Andhera *knew* who she was. Andhera, who had spent the entirety of the maze game pondering deeply about who was worthy of the heart, asking the hedge and the universe and magic at large for guidance only to find it in his hands. Had seen Binx in her true form, and decided to trust them and trust that whatever purpose they had for hiding herself was good, and handed over the crystal heart.
Within a day of that, he learns binx's truth at the tailor shop - the loss of their court, the purpose they have for being at the bloom - and their relationship blooms even further. Suddenly this is not just someone he wants to know and comes to trust, but is someone with a purpose and a vision worth protecting. Andhera’s oath is the truest form of companionship they can offer. Devotion to a mutual cause, one born of care and respect, and a promise to be there for binx in the hardest moments, the ones where you most desperately need someone to rely on. In many ways this is the deepest form of love I can conceive of. It promises an end to loneliness. For both of them.
When andhera offers everyone a place at his court, I can hear the threads of desire and regret of that desire in how binx responds by saying she cannot join another court when she is the last of her own, before extending the offer themself. It’s honestly a little earth shattering (actually very earth shattering lol) when andhera ends up accepting their invitation because it is one step yet closer. One more action to consciously intertwine their lives together. This moment is not one of voicing I love you’s and promises for a future together, but of making those unspoken words a reality.
Binx responds by doing everything they can to help andhera become the truest version of himself in turn - removing the shard and finally giving him full control over his life and magic. Full control, even, of their ability as a prince, as the future leader of the unseelie court. They can step into the new future they fought to make as equals who can lean on one another for support and understanding, for companionship in any and all forms it takes.
My dear Binx. That simple greeting speaks more than I can put into words. Andhera and binx have chosen to belong to one another in a way feels itself to be beyond romance, beyond the throes of passion or desire. Their relationship is a closeness that is explicitly ace, and feels to me to be explicitly aromantic as well. It is simply binx and andhera choosing one another time and time again.
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I came up with an alien species that has been on my mind for a while...
(more information below the cut if your interested)
I was talking on Discord with one of my friends about the alien species and she helped me build more on them... Because I originally created them to tell the story of the last two (or just of two of them because a few are spread across the cosmos...)
She even built a variant of her own to be the ones to destroy their sister planet...
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This is Abdo (Blue and yellow) and Cato (Red and Purple)...
Abdo stands 6 blocks tall and Cato stands 4 blocks tall.
They have 4 arms and two legs. A somewhat small tail and two sets of ears. They have fur, but it is more predominantly on their head and tail tip.
Think of their species society it's like a fandom on the internet: most are peaceful but they are highly advanced with laws that would severely punished those who are negative (ie: banishment or execution depending on the severity) like trolls or o-phile etc... Gender was no problem and most where peaceful...
Abdo had found out that his home planet was going to be destroyed and begged for a few to follow him to safety, even to evacuate the planet... But the high council would not listen. He then took a scientist hostage and escaped the planet's destruction. Only after to find out that Cato was also a male...
Luckily Cato knew a way around this... They would have to merge themselves with a different species DNA to keep the species DNA from disappearing completely... And one of them would have to change gender.
After playing a best 2 out of 3 game session, Abdo won and Cato accepted his fate of changing gender.
As soon as they reach the closest planet (what ever you call the Minecraft planet), they find two deceased locals to infuse with...
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Abdo fuses himself with a unknown male Pillager. Shrinking down to 3 blocks tall but still has his perky upbeat attitude from before.
Cato fused with an unknown female Villager. Now identifying as a female, Cato is still a nervous bundle of fur who overthinks everything.
(I have more images in my book but I didn't take a snapshot of them yet...)
This is an open species so if you want to create your own OC from the original species or the Villager/Illager fusion I would love to see it... Just please credit me when you use the base or the species...
Abdo and Cato are my OCs but you can use their base to make your own... I don't care if they have the same color pattern (like I can actually control whoever uses my base or draws the species in their own style 🤣 besides I don't feel like charging people to use it. It just don't sit right with me, that's why it's an open species and free to use~)
For now I'm calling them raptoids because I can't remember the species name me and my friend had come up with for them (I'm sure they wrote it down somewhere so I'll get the name from them later and update this post with it).
They can be any gender, have any sort of pattern on in their fur, you can give them the scars, you can make them fluffy, muscly, skinny, fat etc... That's all up to you~
They must have 4 arms, 2 legs, 2 pairs of ears, a somewhat small tail, and nose is closer to the eyes with a long snout. They have claws that do not retract in their base form. (Fused form develops retractable claws unless original species has claws out constantly)
Believe it or not the tails actually do serve a very personal purpose: when in close proximity with a loved one their tails wrapped together in a way as if you're holding hands. It's mostly meant for a spouse but it can be done in a platonic way between close family members... This is usually done in times of great stress, fear, or for comfort (or in the throes of passion between spouses)...
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(The Villager/Illager bases purposely in this image do not have eyebrows or if you decide the species infuses with one or the other... But the species fusion is not limited to villager/illager mobs... You can infuse them with other mobs, I just only have this base form at the moment but you can create a fusion using these as slight schematics as to what features they would gain infused with the raptoid species)
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horizon-verizon · 1 year
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Why Corlys in Episode 10 Confused Me
He wakes up. He talks to Rhaenys and wants to back out of supporting Rhaenyra based on the idea that she “destroys everything she touches” and that he was too ambitious.
Corlys and Rhaenys’ Conversation
Corlys: Heedless ambition has always been a Velaryon weakness. You were right, Rhaenys. I reached too far. And for nothing. Our pursuit of the Iron Throne... is at an end. We shall declare for no one. We will retire to High Tide to be content... with our grandchildren and... 
Rhaenys: Jace, Luke, and Joff are claimants to the throne. Those boys'll not be safe so long as Aegon is king. 
Corlys: Rhaenyra was complicit in our son's death. That girl destroys everything she touches. 
Rhaenys: That "girl"... is holding the realm together at present. Every man standing 'round the Painted Table urges her to plunge the realm into war. Rhaenyra's the only one who's demonstrated restraint.
Reasons Why Corlys’ Words Here and his Behavior at the Black Council Made no Sense or Should Ring Some Alarm Bells
A) Hypocrisy
In the scene above, Corlys blames Rhaenyra for the death of his son. 
However, he was the one who pushed for a marriage between Laena and Viserys, accepted a marriage between Laenor and Rhaenyra, and accepted Lucerys as his heir after Laenor. All against the advice of Rhaenys. 
So for him to not count himself or hold himself in the blame for Laenor’s “death” seems hypocritical to me.
Plus, as he believes Rhaenyra is complicit in Laenor’s “death”...he wants to take Baela and Rhaena away to Driftmark?! We could argue that since these are girls and Daemon’s kids--who are married to Rhaenyra--Corlys would not want anything to do with these girls or at least feel he couldn't. They do not "belong" to the Velaryons because their Velaryon parent was a woman, not a man.
They are also “cursed” for being associated with Rhaenyra. He can’t even have them marry into his house if he took them away because of the reasons I list below. He would still be inviting “ruin” to his own house, and this time it would be clearer that it was his own fault for not thinking that through.
B) Daemon PT.1
Daemon gets to decide what to do with his daughters, i.e. Corlys’ grandchildren, Baela and Rhaena, even though Rhaenys has taken Baela as her official ward.
in this feudal patriarchal society where the father officially gets the final say over their kids’ future, and by Show!Daemon’s own personality
by the fact that Baela travels with him and Rhaenyra to King’s Landing and Dragonstone without Rhaenys in episodes 8 and 10
and how women and even male grandparents cannot take their grandkids as an official ward with those kids parents still living
Corlys cannot just take Baela and Rhaena without inviting pushback from Daemon, censure from everyone around him, a mark against his reputation.
C) Daemon PT.2
Daemon, also being married to Rhaenyra at that point for several years with no real sign of wanting an annulment--by his eagerness to go to war to protect her claim--he will act for her in the war against the Greens.
Baela and Rhaena both--thus Driftmark in the vent they are held there--are exposed to danger bust by their blood association by Otto’s rationale or Alicent’s fear for her own kids
That means that there is no way the Velayrons can ever hope to remain neutral if they really cared about Baela and Rhaena and he was willing to take them back to Driftmark.
Both by the show’s lore implications but also just thinking like a feudal lord.
D) The Greens
The Velayrons have too much of a connection with the Blacks and none with the Greens--and I don’t mean by blood alone.
We see that the Greens and the Velayrons have never formed a bond or allyship in the years between episode 5 and 6 & 6 and 7 (Vaemond acted totally on his own. He did not represent the house, only his own desire to lead the house).
The Greens are automatically backed by the Hightowers, who have no connection with the Velayrons, blood or otherwise.
With Corlys’ ship power and political influence, would the Greens actually let them stay available for the Blacks to use in the future under other pressures? They would anticipate Corlys supporting Rhaenyra because he is the grandfather of Daemon’s daughters.
Otto has seen Corlys demand his own way against the Council for years.
No, they’d expect that Corlys would try to support Rhaenyra due to his closer connection to her and the fact that he and the Velayrons have absolutely no reason to trust or ally together. They would not believe Corlys was actually neutral and feel the need to attack Corlys whether subtly or violently.
And because they very likely would (in this feudalist, patriarchal world and them leaning into a more conservative mindset), Corlys himself should have anticipated them feeling and reacting this way.
So the notion of neutrality should have never been entertained as a serious option.
E) Corlys and Rhaenyra’s Conversation in Episode 10
Rhaenyra: Lord Corlys. It brings much relief to see you hale and healthy again.
Corlys: I'm very sorry about your father, Princess. He was a good man. Where is Daemon?
Rhaenyra: There were other concerns which demanded the Prince's attention.
Corlys: Mm. Your declared allies?
Rhaenyra: Yes.
Corlys: Too few to win a war for the throne.
Rhaenyra: Well, we would also hope to have the support of Houses Arryn, Baratheon, and Stark.
Corlys: Hope...is the fool's ally.
Rhaenyra: Both Arryn and Baratheon share blood with my house. But all of them swore oaths to me.
Corlys: As did House Hightower... if I remember.
Rhaenyra: As did you, Lord Corlys.
Corlys (looks to Rhaenys): Your father's realm... was one of justice and honor. Our houses are bound by common blood and common cause. This Hightower treason cannot stand. You have the full support of our fleet and house. Your Grace.
We learn that he is one of the lords who took an oath to protect Rhaenyra’s rights and position when Viserys gathered lords to bend the knee to her.
(9/15/23) Correction: Refer to reblogs for thevelaryons providing reasons why Corlys wouldn't be so loyal to Rhaenyra.
If we remained consistent with Corlys’s need to have a glorious name for his house and his own legacy....he wouldn’t want to go down as an oath breaker. And oath breaking is a serious taboo in Westerosi culture. Like how killing your guests, hosts, and kin are.
Even with people in Westerosi history repeatedly doing these things, even the Hightowers whom Corlys mention,  Corlys is supposed to be different from people like Borros Baratheon and Tywin Lannister and Jaime or Cersei Lannister in that he wants to give his house as much glory and honor to put in the history pages.
To go down in history as being one of those who broke an oath? The thought should have repulsed him, even with his supposed exhaustion after he wakes up. He, after all, can’t turn into a totally different person just because his brother got himself killed.
Once again, he should have thought about all this and never even considered not supporting Rhaenyra. I could not really feel that this was even a reality without people around him telling him that it was a not a sound action just based on its irrationality.
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do-not-careissa · 2 years
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OmegaGuy (this one's a long one, like I struggled to get a grasp on what this story wanted to be long, aka the reason it was never finished. It's also pretty disjointed as is, so sorry for that).
Nothing sexual, but obviously does include alpha/beta/Omega designations and the like if that's not your thing
Humans were not the first life forms the Green Lantern Corps had encountered with such wildly varying genders and sexes. The guardians set rules and boundaries for them all the same. Upon inspecting the Earth's inhabitants and their tendencies, it was decided that only alphas and betas were got to be Green Lanterns. Alphas were the heads of societies after all, the most physically fit and the most intimidating, and betas were perfectly bland for what was needed out of a Green Lantern, they had no ruts or heats to slow them down, and where they lacked that additional punch of authority they instead had that much clearer of a head. Omegas, however, they could not be trusted with a ring. For one, with omegas being the child bearers of the race the guardians could not put it to chance that an omega might become incapacitated with child, costing the Corps one of its needed members. Two, omegas suffered from heats, and while alphas might also suffer from ruts, those did not have the same needs or lose of time that a heat required. And on the final note, they were far too weak. Humans themselves had deemed the sex as such, largely relegated to those safe occupations or even just kept at home to care for their young. They did not have the physicality required to be a Lantern, and the less said about their emotional imbalances the better. It had been said that many an omega was hysterical after all, largely in part to a barren womb. If the species' own scientists from centuries prior were saying this, then surely it meant something.
There would be no omegas in the Green Lantern Corps, and that was final.
But the guardians were far more ignorant than they allowed themselves to believe, their arrogance forcing them to miss that not only had they allowed an omega into their ranks, he'd almost been the first of his planet.
* John
John was the first to realize. The newest Earth recruit was barely half a year into his ring when I happened. He was good, John would give him that, brash and loud, but that didn't deter from the work he'd done or the skill he'd shown. But the way he stiffened up, the sudden halting of breath and the frenzied look John's way, Guy knew he'd fucked up.
They'd been sent on a search and rescue mission. Some monarch's daughter had gone missing out in 763 and it was their job to find her. It was meant to be a test for Guy, a way for him to prove he could reign in that loud and proud exterior and exude the calm every Lantern needed from time to time. Based on that coo he'd let out upon finding the girl, and the way he'd scooped her up and held her close, running his cheek over the top of her head, mindful of the antenna there, he'd passed his test with flying colors.
John never bothered to ask about Guy's designation, and neither had Hal thankfully. Quite frankly, John didn't think it was anyone's business. It was bad enough there had been restrictions put in place, forbidding omegas from serving as Green Lanterns, but John and Hal had both accepted that rule. The armed forces back home had the same standing after all, and for how much John hated it, he knew his place didn't involve asking questions, especially not here. So he'd gone under the assumption that Guy was a beta. While he might have the loud attitude and the large form of an alpha, he lacked the ruts that had caused both Hal and John himself to request leave during Guy's short time in the Corps. He was a beta, an outgoing, overconfident beta, but a beta nontheless.
Except he evidently wasn't.
Guy stared back at him, a sharp fear burning in those eyes of his as he held the alien child close, frozen as he awaited John's judgement. On Earth if an omega was found to have infiltrated an alpha space, whether it be law enforcement, military, anything, they weren't safe. At the least they'd be discharged immediately upon return to base, at worse, well, John didn't want to think of the stories he'd heard, the things his fellow soldier had bragged about doing.
While stories like Mulan were heralded as great works and examples of how omegas could move beyond their allotted roles in society, society was far from willing to actually allow such a thing to happen.
John watched Guy for another few seconds, considered the man before him. Guy was an omega, as a Green Lantern he was part of Hal's pack, he'd hidden his designation from his packmates. But did his designation really matter? He'd been chosen to be a Green Lantern, the ring sought him out even with the Guardian's limitations in place, hell he'd almost been chosen first, before even he or Hal. In the few months he'd been a Lantern he'd done some amazing work, he'd proven himself even if it seemed like he didn't believe that himself. So what he wasn't an alpha or beta, what did it really matter? Who was John to decide whether someone was worthy? And based on things they couldn't control? He'd be a liar and a hypocrite.
Taking one last glance at the man before him, to how tender he held the child even as he remained frozen in a crouch, he nodded and moved to help him up. "Let's get back to the Capitol," he said as he gently grabbed Guy's elbow and helped him stand. "We can report in once we're there."
Guy stared back at him, a question in his eyes that he was clearly too scared to ask, his throat constricting as he attempted to remain calm. "And then?" he asked quietly.
"Then we'll talk," John answered, his eyes darting to the girl in Guy's arms. He looked back to Guy, grabbing his shoulder in what he hoped came off as comforting and compassionate, squeezing just slightly as he rumbled deep in his throat. "Just the two of us, okay?"
The nod he received was hesitant and barely there, but it was there nonetheless.
Their trip back to the Capitol was left mostly in silence, only broken by the girl's questions and Guy's answers. It gave John even more time to think, and then more still as they reached the Capitol and handed the girl off to her parents. He spent the time mulling over what to do, how best to help Guy. He'd already made his decision, it wasn't a hard one really. Guy would be staying as a Green Lantern come hell or high water, and John was ready to be there to support him. But an Omega had needs, needs that had no doubt gone ignored during the months he'd spent on Oa. Between the lack of a nest, the lack of sufficient pack bonding, having to hide his omega instincts, it would all be detrimental to Guy's health if not dealt with accordingly. And then there was the matter of heats...
His blood ran cold at the thought, realization dawning as he looked to Guy in shock. In the amount of time Guy had been a Green Lantern most omegas would have had at least one or two heats, some more, but in all that time there'd been nothing. He hadn't asked for leave, hadn't disappeared for the week that a heat would take to be dealt with. Even with the strongest available suppressants he would have had a heat, or would be preparing for one by now. What the hell?
He didn't get a chance to ask, not for a few hours anyway, not with the celebration the monarch wanted to throw for his daughters return, and definitely not with so many strangers around. This was a conversation that needed to happen in private, not surrounded by hundreds of strangers.
It didn't happen until the late hours of the morning, with the two of them drained and worn out, lounging around in the room provided to them for the night. John remained by the wall, watching and waiting for Guy to give him the go ahead. An omega's space was precious and not to be infringed upon. Sure they'd shared space before, but that was under different circumstances, a different understanding. He couldn't help but watch how Guy moved, how not-omega-like he was in his movements and mannerism. How did he become like this? It couldn't be natural, it had to have been learned, trained into him. But why?
"Are you gonna get over here or are you planning on holding up the wall all night?" Guy asked from the bed, throwing himself back onto the mattress. "Thought you wanted to, uh, talk, and shit. Or did you wanna wait til morning?"
It wasn't a normal invitation, but he figured it was the best he was going to get. "Now's good," he said as he dropped down next to Guy, careful to keep a reasonable distance. "Unless you'd prefer we wait."
"No, no, now's good," Guy said, forcing himself up into a seated position. He ran a hand over his face, the strain of the day showing in his features as he stared ahead. It took a moment for him to collect himself, but by the time he was looking at John he'd be hard pressed to believe the man was as tired as he'd just shown.
"I'm not telling anyone," John began, making sure to keep his voice as steady as possible.
"But I'm an omega," Guy said slowly, confirming what they both knew by now. "And that's against GL rules. You're the by the book guy, why should I believe you'll be any different just because of this one thing?"
It was an understandable question, one John would be asking if their positions were reversed. Really, John had nothing to lose by outing him, it wouldn't ruin him or his reputation, if anything it would put him in a good light with the Guardians, if anything he has so much more to lose by not outing him. Who's to say what the consequences of keeping such information secret would be? How far the hammer would fall?
But at the end of it all, could he really live with himself if he told anyone? Sure as hell no.
"I care about you Guy," he said. Guy's reaction was almost immediate, that squinting of the eyes, the stiffening and closing of his posture, like he expected there to be a catch, some kind of payment for John's silence. "I'm not saying that as some alpha looking out for a poor defenseless omega Guy, I'm saying that as someone who cares about you, I'm saying that as your brother in ring, as a friend. I'm not going to tell anyone, but I need you to let me help you."
Guy huffed, his eyes rolling as far back as they could go. "And why the hell would I need your help John? I've been going at it for months on my own just fine, I don't see why I suddenly need your help."
* Kyle
For months Kyle regarded the day he'd become a Green Lantern as the greatest. In the span of one evening he'd gone from a nobody to a hero, had gone from a powerless, random Omega to one of the most powerful individuals in the universe, weilding a power ring just as his heroes had before him. He could have only dreamed of obtaining this power and position before, only hoped and prayed and lamented for the universe to turn in his favor. And it did! He was a Green Lantern, and not only that he was the first Omega Green Lantern, he was making history. He did what no Omega had done before.
Except that wasn't the case was it?
And to make matters just that much worse, for every good thing that ever seemed to happen to him, another tragedy would follow.
It didn't take long to learn of what became of Hal Jordan, to find out that he was the only Green Lantern left, that he was Ganthet's last ditch effort to save the Corps. Being the first omega didn't really mean much when there was no one else around, now was it? And it certainly didn't make it any easier when the realization crossed his mind that the only reason he was here, the only reason he'd been given this chance, was because of so many deaths.
Alex had made it easier to accept that knowledge, and by extension the responsibility that accompanied such a role. "This could all be one misunderstanding," she'd said one night, "but you're the one wearing that ring now, and you're the one that made the decision to be a hero. Are you really going to waste it like this?"
He could still remember her voice, could remember her scent and the feeling of her hands, the love he'd felt for her and the love she'd felt for him back. They'd had their differences, had even separated before he got the ring. Most would say it was for the best, two omegas in a committed monogamous relationship wasn't exactly regarded that highly in the public eye, some going so far as to call it an abomination. But they loved each other and they were finally working through their problems, Kyle was finally growing away from being a whiny pup who wanted her attention without the effort and was becoming a man who could take care of and provide for her.
Unfortunately for him the universe didn't care. In the span of a few hours Alex was ripped away from him, murdered in her own apartment while he was answering cries for help. The image of her body, of her limbs twisted and broken and bent in ways they were never meant to, etched itself into his mind, dragging screams of anguish from him until his throat was raw and ruined.
He was alone, alone and hurting and in so much pain, and there was no one to ease it.
*Hal
"Well well well, if it isn't the great, the powerful, the oh so legendary, Hal Jordan, here to gift us with his presence."
There were more than a few things Hal had to get used to again after coming back. Even with his time spent as the Spectre, there were distinct differences between that plane of being and this new, very human one. He'd been here before, yes, but it all felt so new now, so different.
He could rember the banalities of human life from years past, from before he'd let fear overtake him. Small things like breathing, the small push to sit up in the morning, the pangs of hunger, and the drowsiness of exhaustion, they all felt so much more important now, so much more and human. He wanted, needed, to savor it all.
Just as he needed to savor those little, everyday occurrences, he needed to savor the not so everyday happenings. He'd been given a second chance, multiple even. Here he was, alive and whole, with a ring on his finger and the power of his will flowing through his veins. Somehow he'd been given a second chance with the ring, a chance he'd never expected to get even though he craved it with all his being. The Corps had been decimated because of him, left with nothing but Ganthet and a single ring. Yet here he was, amongst this new Corps, amongst these Lanterns both new and old. How could this have happened? Surely it was a mistake. People didn't just get second chances like this, no one did. Yeah there were others who confronted him, who made it clear he wasn't welcome or trusted, but then he'd have someone else step in, someone who made it clear they were on his side.
Somehow Guy was one of those people,and for the life of him he couldn't figure out how.
Even before Parallax they'd been at each other's throats, more than ready to rip each to shreds. Betas were usually pretty calm, keeping out of trouble and resolving those sorts of fights quickly, but there Guy was unwilling to back down no matter how outmatched he was. It had made Hal wonder for the longest time if he was wrong about Guy's designation, there were aggressive betas, but this, this was something else entirely, something he'd only ever seen in alphas.
Maybe it was just a learned behavior, Guy had been open enough with him and John about his childhood and his father, maybe that old son of a bitch had something to do with.
But now, years later, there was something else off, something much stranger. Hal could accept Guy's closeness to Kyle, between Guy and John those two were really Kyle's only connection to the Corps for the longest while. It would make sense that they'd create a bond of some kind. And with how tight John and Guy had been back in the day, it also made sense that it had continued on into today, whatever pack they'd had from their time with Hal had shifted to suit their new needs, seemingly drawing Kyle in. And with him the pack seemed so much closer, so much more complete. Even from a distance Hal could see it. Kyle brought to them what their pack had been lacking, completing the circle and finally gifting to the pack an omega.
That wasn't to say Hal only saw him through his designation, not at all. Kyle was resourceful, cunning, and so damn good with that ring, Hal practically forgot about his designation. But then Kyle would take off his scent blockers, or drag someone in close and scent them, or demand everyone in the vacinity gather round for a cuddle pile because he wasn't feeling well. Hal loved those moments, finally getting the chance to be pulled in with the others without worry for scorn or derision. But he'd always notice Guy off to the side, an unreadable expression on his face as he rubbed at his neck.
The gesture bugged him, something about it feeling off even if he couldn't figure out what it was. Guy had always been a bit more reserved in his displays of affection in the past, especially when it came to the pack. He'd always preferred to wait until they were behind closed doors to say or do anything, his voice gruff and closed off whenever Hal asked why. Seeing it now, he had to wonder if that was still the case, and if so why.
* Kilowog
The return to the Corps was...Interesting to say the least. Having just Rayner and then Stewart running around with a ring had been an adjustment, and that was before he'd had his body restored and a new ring put on his finger. Returning to the Corps, even if it was only the three of them and Ganthet, had felt like coming home. All things considered, it was.
Then came Jordan's return, and with it his and Gardner's return to the ring. Kilowog had almost cried tears of joy at seeing Hal, very much alive and not possessed by the yellow impurity. He'd managed to wait until Batman and the other Earth heroes were gone before he'd pulled the pilot into a spine shattering hug, but only just barely. And then he'd grabbed Guy, the man's joyful laughter filling the air around, and as he pulled him close he realized something was off, something was different. He couldn't quite place it, the echoes of their battle with Parallax and the adrenaline that accompanied it still racing through him, but he made a mental note to figure it out later, to check in on it and make sure his friend and fellow Corpsman was well. If anything the strangeness might have just been a result of the recent trauma Guy had gone through, a byproduct of his Vuldarian dna going haywire and causing his body to practically turn itself inside out. It would be much weirder if he was completely fine. Whatever it was, he could figure it out later.
Unfortunately later came a lot later. Between the new rings going out, training the new recruits, and then dealing with the mess with the Spider Guild, he'd hardly had a moment to himself, let alone enough of one to check on his Earth friend. Recruits were his priority as the Corps's trainer after all, his own personal concerns needed to be set aside to tend to them. Though he supposed that was something he and Guy shared now, wasn't it? The two of them alongside Kyle and the other veteran Lanterns all stood as the trainers of the hundreds of recruits, their leaders and moral compass, their example. While Kyle and the others had accepted the role with pride, Guy hadn't been as forthcoming.
"I'm not a teacher," he'd said, something which had confused Kilowog immensely. Guy had been a teacher, had counseled prisoners and taught children with needs that others were not equipped for, Kilowog knew that, Guy knew that, so why would he say otherwise? When they were struggling against the Spider Guild he'd rallied everyone together, he'd pulled them together and pushed them to victory, even those rookies that were scared shitless. If anyone was fit for the job it was him.
Did it have to do with whatever was different? Kilowog hadn't gotten a chance to ask about it. Maybe that was it.
He looked around the decimated Oan landscape to where everyone was working, watched as Lanterns rebuilt the parts of the planet that had been broken while others like Natu worked to help those that were hurt. He caught sight of his Earth friends, the four of them working with different recruits on various projects. It didn't escape his sight how dazed Hal seemed, with his eyebrows pinched and his gaze set unwaveringly on Guy, even as he lifted the fallen structure before him with ease. So he noticed it too, whatever this was.
Kilowog waved to the man, barely receiving a responding wave before he turned to head in Guy's direction. Whatever was off he needed to figure it out.
Guy nodded at his arrival, laughing and joking, before turning his attention back to the surrounding recruits, and that's when he realized his scent was off. Smell was always odd off of one's home world, the burning of a planets ozone, the stillness of space, and the atmosphere of whatever planet you landed on all working to alter ones scent. But even with all of that taken into consideration, he knew Guy's was off. Even the years since his last stint as a Lantern couldn't account for this sweet smell. He'd always smelled very neutral, not too sweet or spicy or bitter, no one smell overpowering him that he could remember. Yet here he floated, smelling of burnt Earth wood. It was off putting to say the least.
Humans didn't normally change their scents right? At least not like this. He knew of their odd genders and sexes, the alphas like Hal and John with their musky and earthy smells, the omegas like Kyle with their restrained but pleasantly sweet smells-so long as they were happy and scent blockers were not in use-, and the betas with their muted or even complete lack of a smell. Kilowog had never been able to smell Guy outside of normal acquired scents, he'd always been nonexistent to the Bolovaxian's nose. But taking a nice, deep breath, pulling in the surrounding air, it was undeniable. Guy smelled less like nothing and more like Kyle.
"You okay ya big butt head?" Guy asked with a light hearted shove. "You're looking like your head's about to pop."
Kilowog looked him over, not noticing any differences in him physically​ other than his altered hairstyle and the few additional lines that age had brought him. He breathed in one more time, that wood smell still there, still radiating off of Guy, and he had to know. "You smell different Poozer." He said it like a joke, adding in a small grin as he grabbed Guy's shoulder. "Trying to attract the new recruits? Smell's important to more than a few of their races."
In a flash the color drained from Guy's already pale face, his hand rushing up to slap over his covered neck, reaching under the material of his uniform for something Kilowog couldn't see. He threw his head back, eliciting a groan before following it up with an exclamation of "Fuck!" More than a few recruits turned around, scandalized at whatever their rings had translated the word as. Kilowog waved them away with a glare, grabbing Guy's shoulder to pull him somewhere private and away from the hundreds of eyes currently watching them. Whatever this was Guy clearly wasn't comfortable with it, and the last thing Kilowog wanted was to make it worse.
The other Earth Lanterns watched them go, Kyle and John with knowing looks, and Hal with one of worry and a little panic. Did he know what this was? Or was he as lost as Kilowog was?
"Are you okay?" He asked once they were well away from the others. Guy's face was firmly planted in his hands, waves of frustration rolling off of him as something soured the aired.
"No," he finally answered, forcing himself to look up at the alien towering over him before he started pacing around the space, running his hands over his head. "I'm not. I can't fucking believe, I know that I, it was there before, some fucker must've got a lucky shot, god dman it. This wasn't supposed to happen."
"Guy, my friend, you c'n trust me, you know that," Kilowog said as he found a perch to sit on. "What wasn't supposed to happen?"
Guy stopped in his pacing, looking out of their space to the work being done, a sudden look of exhaustion coming over him. He hadn't rested in a while, had he? Not since before that recruit training session turned mission brief. The others had taken time to at least sit down, to be looked over for any medical needs, or even to rest for a bit. Guy hadn't.
"My scent blockers," Guy answered, squeezing himself in next to Kilowog as he reached into his shirt, pulling out a small skin like pad. "There's supposed to be two of them, one of them must've come lose during that final bit with the Guild. You're not supposed to be able to smell me big guy."
Kilowog reached down slowly, taking the small square once Guy nodded his approval. He held it up, looked it over for any oddities. It was small, smaller than one of his fingers, with a color that matched Guy's flesh almost exactly on one side, and an adhesive, white color on the other. He took a small sniff of the material, and in an instant his nose was filled with various smells and the feelings connected to them. He knew what this was, Hal had explained it to him years ago when Hal had first been inducted into the ranks of the Green Lanterns, the alpha having worn them as a way to keep his head clear and to not give away his emotions.
"You're not a beta then," Kilowog stated as he handed the square back. "I don't understand why you would be concerned over that. This is a new Corps, we trust each other here, you don't need to hide."
The look Guy gave him screamed of confusion, like he'd expected something much worse, something condemning. "You're not..."
"Why would I be? It doesn't change anything. You're still the same Poozer I knew before, you just smell different, that's all."
Guy nodded, fisting the used up blocker into a ball as he hung his head. Watching him, Kilowog went through the options that were left, what he could do. While he understood his own race's sexes and their unique characteristics, his knowledge of Earth's was still limited to what little information Hal had given him all those years ago and what little he'd observed on Earth. And for all he knew that could've changed. He didn't want to assume anything, not with his friend clearly so anxious.
"Is that why y' didn't wanna teach the new recruits?" He asked. "You thought the Guardians were stereotyping you?"
"Sorta?" Guy leaned into him, his head cushioning itself into the side of his chest with little resistance. "I mean, I wanted more action and stuff too, thought they were sidelining me compared to John and Hal, and considering Kyle was gonna be the only other one with me, well. Putting the two omegas as trainers and the two alphas on the front lines has some, implications, if you get my meaning."
"But the Guardians don't know," Kilowog said. "At least, they didn't seem to before."
"Ganthet knows."
"Do you really think he'd hold that over you? Especially now? After Kyle?"
"I've known people to do a worse heel face turn, I wouldn't be surprised."
There wasn't much to be said for that. Guy was right after all. Kilowog had been on Earth enough, had seen how some humans treated others based on their designation. He could remember the phrases "You're really good for an omega" and "Why can't other omegas just be like you?" clear as day, that implication that these people were less capable just by virtue of existing. He'd also seen the extent of human brutality, how manipulative they could be. If he had it his way his Earth friends would never return to that planet, he'd keep them away from those horrible people with their horrible lies and words, but he knew he'd be no better if he did. His friends deserved to make their own choices and go where they wanted, he just needed to be prepared if they ever needed him.
"Well," he finally said, pulling Guy even closer to his side as he leaned down to nuzzle his head. "If they ever try anything they'll be dealing with a lot more than just you."
"Is that so?"
"Heh, between me, your Earth brothers, and those recruits out there, the Guardians stand no chance against us."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that big K," Guy said, patting the hand on his side.
"Overcome your fear Poozer," Kilowog said with a joking lilt to his voice, running his hand over the little bit of hair on Guy's head. "Trust your fellow Lanterns, believe in them. They care a lot less about your human designations than you meat sacks think they do."
"Fine fine." Guy's laughter flowed again, bringing peace along with it. "We'll see."
"We better."
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jesuis-melodrama · 2 years
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(1)Question for you after reading Overkill. I write for Adrien too and you brought up some very interesting things for me to think about as I write my own story. I am a very empathetic person and have always related to Adrien in that way. My empathy, in part, comes from trauma, but the fact remains that I am still empathetic and I see that overall as a strength- so long as I enforce boundaries.
(2) Being empathetic at little cost to me is great. It makes me feel good and actually DOES make me happy. My work is in an empathetic field and I enjoy helping people. But being empathetic when it costs me my wellbeing and happiness- that's another story. And I think- through therapy and surrounding myself with people who don't use me- I've managed to cultivate a good balance. Do you think that Adrien can do this? And do you see his empathy as a strength at all?
I've always seen empathy as a strength, and I believe the goal to cultivating a society of true equality is not pretending everyone is the same, but seeing differences, and embracing them.
Adrien has always been an empathetic person, in canon, this elevates to the point where some can see him as unempathetic. For example, he gives far too much allowances to individuals such as Chloé and Lila (and whether or not they have justifications for acting the way they do, no actions can be dismissed if they harm other people), and in a more dangerous mindset, this transforms into Adrien having a distorted view of his father, who may be grieving and mournful, but does not, in any sense, diminishes the abuse and negligent he lays on his son.
Adrien has always placed himself last in many situations in his life: 'Chloé misses her mother, therefore she's just acting out, we need to be understanding', 'Lila is just lonely as the new girl, we just need to endure this for a little more and she'll be fine', 'Père is still grieving, I can't bother him with anything now when he's going through so much', this in itself is a toxic mindset, and it worsens, when to an extent, Adrien does expect others to have such a self-destructive method of care as himself.
I think this is where most 'Adrien salt' might actually originate from, he's empathetic to the point where he seems heartless, because he expects others to be just as lenient and compassionate, as accepting of abuse (which also springs his other more unattractive traits of being too passive and a 'doormat').
I assume you're asking about Overkill's Adrien, and whether or not he can finding a balance between empathy and boundaries (and not Adrien in canon), and the answer is: he already tried.
Adrien, at the depths of it all, I see him as a very needy and romantic person that inhibits love, in all its forms but especially in touch, as vital to his wellbeing and mentality. And after being 'free', exiting his father's household and released to do as he wishes, he did attempt to amass the relationships and romances he desired. To cut things short, as I do not want to say too much when the story is still in progress, those attempts failed in various scales of severity, and this resulted in Adrien at where he is now, segregating himself from society, demoting himself to the company of an ancient, callous being, and a woman who may or may not have ill intentions for him but is at least interesting.
Does he still desire love? Does he still yearn for friendship? Does he still misses touch? He does. But this Adrien has decided now is the time to be selfish, committing extreme actions such as cancelling all his projects when they are still in midway (resulting in Adrien getting somewhat ostracised from the entertainment scene), and focusing on 'himself', taking life slowly, doing all the things he wants that doesn't require the presence and commitment to others.
Adrien's empathy will always be his strength (in fact, it is what sets from apart from Ladybug, who is sympathetic, but has difficulty seeing any vision other than her own), but by alienating himself, although his empathy has somewhat matured, Adrien is ensuring it will not be himself who will be taking the brunt consequences of his naive impressions of love.
He can find boundaries, but it will requires a lot of experimentations and experience in doing so, experimentations and experience with intentions and motivations, not simply throwing yourself out into whatever whirlwind of fray that comes your way, and Adrien, right now, cannot be focused on such a massive, stressful projects, establishing his standing with other people, when he's gathering the last vestiges of his identity, trying to build himself.
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itsoverfeeling · 1 year
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I forgot one of like the most important pieces in the Origins AU.
So the main cast is based on Sanders Sides with a bunch of my OCs that just pop up out of nowhere and are supposed to just be there for like a story or two then dissappear but then accidentally become main characters (-cough cough- Caleb -cough-), but there is also MYCT. Specifically DSMP characters. And they're gods. -jazz hands- totally doesn't go wrong.
The gods' role in the story is kind of like the greek gods. They are /supposed/ to be hands off, only interacting with mortals when they choose champions from among them who are given the powers of that god. The main gods that the crew interact with are the Minecraft family, and two OC gods, Queen Nebula and the Wither King. I'm gonna copy a bunch of stuff from the canon library and Caleb's own story telling in the series:
Some gods are who they are from the beginning of their existence, brought forth by the God of Creation himself. Others are chosen from among mortals, granted power to be used for good, or for evil. Though they tend to stay within their own plane of existence, their powers and areas of rule have the possibility of affecting all of us.
The Gods can pick mortal champions to spread their influence. Doing so will have the God share their magic with them. The Gods can be very picky on who they think is worthy.
God of Creation
The creator of all worlds and resources, the God of Creation is the first and main god. It is generally accepted to refer to the God of Creation as Ender. Though some have tried to make an argument that he is Herobrine, the ghostly legend. It is unclear if these arguments are inspired by factual experiences, as many “witnesses” upon further investigation recant their accounts. 
What is true is that the God of Creation spent his time working in the beginning, and now is said to rest and watch his creation unfold unless approached with a request. Ender is said to be too powerful for any mortal and thus will not make anyone a champion.
God of Decay
Said to have been born of the stars, the God of Decay- also known as the Wither King- harnesses the dark arts of Wither magic. His god-status is said to have been gained when he was mortal, having already given in to the corruption of Wither magic and seeking more power. He approached Ender, the God of Creation, with the request to become a god. Ender granted this wish, but in turn granted the Wither King’s sister godship as well.
Wither King values drive and knowledge, seeking out people who he believes are like him. Because he is trapped, he tries to take over his champion's will in a way to be able to live again and maybe one day free himself from his prison. The Wither King is said to have the power to give the Wither effect to anything, causing it to decay, and summon and control the Wither mobs. 
Goddess of Life
Sister to the God of Decay, the Goddess of Life was granted power to balance out her brother. Most agree there was a great battle between the two, but every society has their own version of the story’s outcome. Some say they both perished. Others say the Goddess of Life killed the Wither King. Still some believe the Goddess could not bring herself to kill her own brother, instead imprisoning him in the Nether.
Nebula values passion and compassion in her champions. Only known as Queen’s Champions, Nebula picks people with the goal of protecting life and stopping her brother's influence. She also believes in not meddling in mortal life so her champions appear only when needed. Nebula gives her champions the power of the stars and to heal. 
Goddess of Death
A loving Goddess named Kristin that takes care of the souls of the dead and decides where they should go. Also known as the Raven Queen, she takes the form of a raven Elytrian. She married an Angel of Death named Philza and has three sons. Tommyinnit, the God of Chaos. Wilbur Soot, the God of Music. And Technoblade, the God of Violence, also known as the Blood God. 
Kirstin values compassion and empathy in her champions. Called Angels of Death, their goals are to help guide lost souls to the afterlife. The most famous Angel being Philza Minecraft. Legend says that Philza was a champion that the Queen fell in love with and was given immortality so they could always be together. Angels of Death are said to have the ability to see spirits and know when someone is about to die.
God of Chaos
Tommyinnit, also known as Tommy or Theseus, is the God of Chaos. Tommy doesn’t believe in order and rules, and is known to be loud and cause trouble for everyone. Tommy is the youngest God and it shows. Tommy is loved by people who are rebels and also likes to cause trouble. Despite all his bravo, Tommy is still a loyal god to the ones he loves and holds his brothers in high regard. 
Tommy isn’t allowed to have champions, as the last time he had champions, supposedly the world almost ended. Legend says that the champions lost their minds and couldn’t handle the God’s magic. Some wonder if this means Tommy is more powerful than anyone believes.
God of Music and Diplomacy
Wilbur Soot is the God of Music and Diplomacy. The middle child of Philza and Kristen, Wilbur is a bit of a rebel himself. Wilbur values music and freedom, using his words to charm his way out of trouble. He is married to Sally, Goddess of the Sea and father of Fundy, God of Technology. 
Wilbur values charisma and talent in his champions known as Phantom Bards. Phantom Bards’ goal is to spread music and lead people into freedom and revolution. Phantom Bards are known to be some of the most talented musicians in the world. Being a Phantom Bard gives you the ability to phase through walls, turn invisible and let your music influence how people feel. Because of this, some people are untrusting of the musicians.
God of Violence (The Blood God)
A God of honor and devotion to people, Technoblade is no stranger to bloodshed. He is said to be praised by those going into battle, though his blessing never seems to be upon those fighting for a government. The legends speak of him toppling many attempts at government by the other gods, Technoblade holding to the belief that government corrupts. However, he seems to continually bless potato farms that make annual travels to disrupt the nearest governmental agency, much to the disdain of surrounding towns. There are many legends of the feats of Technoblade.
Technoblade values strength and loyalty in his champions known as Blood Warriors. No one is too sure what the actual goal is of the Blood Warriors are besides fighting and murder. Being a champion of Technoblade gives his champions greater strength, stamina and endurance. They are well feared in war times as even one Blood Warrior is said to turn the tide of battle.
God of Technology
Fundy, who is a trans man, is the God of Technology thanks to his great knowledge of how redstone and magic works and his curiosity to experiment and learn more. But being a fox, Fundy is also a known prankster. Sometimes helping his uncle Tommy cause chaos. 
Fundy’s champions are inventors and researchers known as Hermits. Hermits’ goals are to learn more about the world and invent new things to better it. Fundy values intelligence and curiosity in his champions. Hermits are said to have the ability to read any form of magic, even different hybrid magic. 
grabs you. holy shit.
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humdelhi · 4 years
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"As a child in his own bliss of innocence and ignorant of the ways of the society, I enjoyed basking in the glorious orbs of my ma's jewellery and sarees. Unlike boys of my age, speeding and force were never my gaming zones. The tenderness and beauty of dolls often lured me into playing with them; dressing them up as gorgeously as Nani would find me with those heavy, dark locks and big, round eyes of mine that shimmered in the attire of a bride. Dressing up as the dulhan in the 'dulha-dulhan' game, wearing masi's dupatta as a hairpiece and dancing wholeheartedly on Madhuri Dixit's Bollywood numbers without caring about the world opened the non-negotiable realm of the society for me; an arena I would bargain for by giving up all I had if only I knew what lied ahead. While growing up, I did not share a friendly relationship with my father. Like most dad-son bonds, ours was also garbed by the shades of masculinity where the proclamation of love and expression of feelings lied suppressed somewhere. Being born in a middle-class Rajput family was not a choice I made. To make a man out of his effeminate son (whose walk and words resonated with feminine tenderness rather than manly toughness), papa resided into relentlessly beating me even at the slightest of my mistakes. He detested my speaking of Bhojpuri, our mother tongue, as he felt that it made me sound like a 'mauga' (a Bhojpuri word for effeminacy). I was unknown to the amiable side of parenting for the most part of my childhood; it resurfaced only in certain instances when ma was around. Her working in a different district often stole this bliss away. While on one side home had this to offer, my school only worsened my mental peace and added to my trauma of ‘being different’.
Typically known as a space to form one's identity and shaping up his/her personality, my school rather contributed in making me known as 'a chakka, a hijra'. Those were the daggers thrown at me by my schoolmates in the utmost derogatory sense. The notion of your name reflecting your identity became a blurred idea for me. There were only a very few days of my school life in which I was not bullied or humiliated, and hence, it is hard to forget the rest which had become 'my normal' for not being normal. An incident on one such day is etched clearly in my memory. A classmate sitting behind me had tainted my shirt with the alphabets - ’S I X E R'. The courage and strength that I had been mustering all this while, which had been secretly pushing me to move ahead each day, had now shattered into many tiny fragments, and I felt like it would take an eternity to put them back together. I tried every possible way that could stop me from going to school ever again; even if it involved intentionally hurting my own leg, but alas, to no avail. For once, after years, I had led down my shield of masculinity and had cried in the warm and secure arms of ma, cursing my birth and my own existence. The torment of years could not be calmed with her wise words. So taking the onus on her to set it all right, she spoke to my class teacher about all that had been going on. This only worsened things. Everyone at school stopped talking to me, and my existence had now disappeared.
After matriculation, I took admission in humanities in a different school. My idiotic heart that clings to every false hope led me into believing that this change of place would mark a new beginning of acceptance, kindness and warmth. Little did I know that humanities can only acquaint someone with such ideas but cannot force him/her into practising them. All my aspirations to be known as ‘Aditya' in this new setting, among new people, got burnt in the playground beneath the ravishing heat of the sun when a boy from my previous school called aloud to me "chakka, tu yahan!”. I had decided not to succumb this time, and hence the 'new me' did not let them humiliate me on my face. But I couldn’t of course stop it from happening behind my back. They would anonymously refer to me with the same slangs from my previous school. I could sometimes comprehend their teenage slurs from a distance. To exist equally was now forgotten. The exuberance and flamboyancy about my personality had now been boxed forever. I had started to feel suffocated in my own body. Choking halfway while trying to swallow a piece of Mortein made me loathe myself for not having the courage to free my own spirit. I started keeping to myself. I had become an introvert who only found the resolute to breathe in the reality of his own identity either through comic books, TV series or movies. At times, I danced in front of the mirror, in my dad's dhoti wrapped around as a gaghra to live my veracity. But it never felt liberating, for the doors were always locked and loneliness was my only audience.
The process of change is sometimes not easily noticeable. The human brain intelligent enough to register it until this change is visible from the outside. Standing on the stage in a yellow coloured long skirt, resonating my faith in blurred gender roles and belief in masculinity beyond the idea of clothing, in an auditorium stuffed with people, I was not only accepting the award for topping the second year of college but also sinking in the realisation of how past three years in Ramjas has empowered me to accept myself the way I am, to love myself beyond the horizon and to believe that the sky can be your only limit. This realisation and acceptance did not enter my system overnight but was a process of constantly unlearning what the society had fed into me since birth and learning to put my individuality beyond the flawed spectrum of prejudices and stereotypes. To say that it was a cakewalk would be a lie!
For these three years of my graduation, I resided in Ramjas Boys Hostel. Initially, it was tough to be surrounded by men who would question your manhood and masculinity in your every action. It made me feel vulnerable beyond my threshold. But the beautiful course I was enrolled in, helped me understand how fragile the word 'masculinity' is; the constant pressure it puts on the males of our society to become a “man", to condition themselves as insensitive creatures and to avoid discussions about this normalised oppression as it would manifest their unseen, unknown side of femininity. Understanding this helped me soothe my anger towards my father. It helped me see his unfortified concerns for his son. Being the product of his times, he gave in to the archaic methods of upbringing. Of late, I have been vocal about my feelings, and this has mended our bond. Delhi, in all its colours, brought with it some angels in form of the most understanding humans in my life. Without their support and irrevocable faith in me, I would have never dared to take such a big leap from the side of constant insecurity and loathing to undeterrable belief in myself to become whoever I wanted to be. With time, I have gained maturity. I can now comprehend the strength and beauty of my sexual orientation. This tantalising fragrance of love with same-sex has ephemerality and strength of Petrichor - intense but short. It's a different experience every time when I fall in love, but one thing that has been common is to see how easily a man can accept his vulnerability behind locked doors but won’t dare to do so in the outer world. Everyone is a little gay or has a 'gayish' side to them that can't be hidden well behind a facade but to have portrayed it out boldly is to bathe in the unpretentious mirth of a unicorn ride over the slide of a rainbow."
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clairecrive · 3 years
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Hi could we please get a really angsty fic with nikolai (with a happy ending pls) where reader and he has had a fight so they maintain the facade on the outside bc they're royals but in private it's just ignoring each other/angst?
Young Royals
A/N: ahh, this is angsty alright but it seems I'm only capable of writing hurt/comfort lately. This took a life of its own and it's long af but I hope you like it anyway x
Warnings: miscommunication, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Nikolai is a bit absent, you're a bit jealous of his relationship with Zoya
Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @agentsofsheilds , @for-bebbanburg , @randomoutsiders , @pansysgirlfriend , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @story-scribbler , @crowssixof , @odetostep,@lizzie-he4rts, @korol-lantsov, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @gallysonegoodlung, @a-c-lee, @mriddlemethis, @carnationworld,@thanossexual, @luvxginger, @sanna2020,@partiesandblurrypolaroids, @edithsvoice, @wafflesandschemingfaces (tag list form)
SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST
"Do not put words into my mouth, Nikolai."
"Please, you already have so many, my love," he scoffed and the use of the term of endearment hurt the most.
"You're making me sound like a brat while I'm providing you with a viable solution," you insisted with a flare of your hands, frustrated by his unwillingness to listen to you.
"No, you're not. What you're doing is being childish."
"I'm your queen, Nikolai. I'm only asking to be more involved."
"You're my wife, y/n, and you know nothing about politics or running a country." He retired, putting emphasis on wife. This felt a lot like being put into place. And the fact that it was your husband doing so, hurt. It was also the most you had seen him this week.
"Neither did Zoya, nor Genya or anyone who's currently running the country."
"That's different and you know it."
"Only because you're making it so," you exclaimed finally exploding. His despondency got on your nerves and this conversation was going nowhere anyway.
Surprised by your raise of voice, Nikolai stood before you just blinking at you.
Sighing, you took a step toward him, holding your hands up, "look, you're right, I don't know about running a country but teach me. I'm not stupid, I'll pick it up."
"Why are you insisting so much? You've never shown any interest in politics before." He gave you a puzzled look like he didn't really believe your intentions.
"I've never wanted to be queen before." before meeting you.
"Ah, I see," he chuckled mirthlessly, "I put you in this situation and now you're taking your revenge."
To insinuate that your marriage with him was you "being put into a situation" rather than a consensual decision you had made out of love was absurd.
Nikolai was right. You had never cared about politics or diplomacy before meeting him. You were a soldier. There was no reason for you to meddle with something that didn't concern you.
But now you were queen and you felt a responsibility towards your people. You wanted to help but so far, Nikolai hadn't allowed you to take part in any meetings. He said that anyone who needed to be there was already involved. What he didn't tell you was that while Grisha made excellent soldiers and even good councillors, one of them being a royal was a very different matter.
He had indulged his love for you by marrying you. You were his vice and he simply couldn't accept the idea of being without you anymore. He had married you, consequently making you queen, going against what his advisors told him.
While he ignored his warnings he was painfully aware, however, how difficult it was going to be for a Grisha on the throne. It was the first time something liked this had ever happened and unfortunately, the country was filled with people who resented Grisha for their powers.
Nikolai feared that the people were never going to accept you. Hence why he'd been keeping you secluded in the palace.
To be fair, you were doing a wonderful job. Like he had pointed out, you were not accustomed to politics but you made up for that with empathy and kindness. You started to interest yourself with the problem of poverty and lack of provisions for some parts of the country.
And while no one was aware of it, Nikolai often turned to you for military strategy. You were an apt soldier and had fought bravely alongside him and everyone else in the battle of the Fold. You were the very reason why he was still alive, to be honest.
While this arrangement worked for the first months of your reign, it was starting to feel an inadequate effort. You needed to do more, you wanted to do more. You didn't expect Nikolai to oppose it so vehemently.
"If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be, Nikolai, you'd do well to remember it," you pointed out coldly, straightening your spine.
"Since you seem so adverse at spending time with me or including me in important matters, I'll find someone else who will." And with that, chin held high, you walked out of the room.
You missed him. It felt absurd to say this but you missed your husband. He was always busy with meetings or official visits to some noble across the country. For most of them, he went alone or with Zoya.
You knew that she was his first in command but you couldn't help but be bothered by it. It was one thing to accept the fact that he hadn't given the role to you "because the queen cannot have that role as well", it was a whole other thing to accept the fact that another woman spent more time with your husband than you did.
Countless were the fights you had with him in this regard. But they were pointless. Nikolai was still set on not bringing you and he and Zoya were always found together.
You didn't know what hurt more. The blow at your pride for being denied a position you deserved because of who you loved, the jealousy or being punished for your identity.
One thing was sure though, it was getting too much. At first, you pulled thought for Nikolai but now that you didn't have him anymore, your efforts seemed to be in vain.
So, like you had told Nikolai, you looked for someone who was willing to teach you. You wanted to help and if Nikolai wasn't going to let you here at the palace, then you'd find somewhere else.
Count Kirigin had always been nice to you and he was a very generous host. You knew that he played a central role in Nikolai's plan so you thought that there was no one better than him.
You reached out to him, wrote him a letter in which you showed interest in his activity and asked him if he was willing to show you. Of course, anything that came from the queen or the king couldn't be denied but you knew that the Count truly enjoyed your company. If your position didn't put so much higher than everybody else, you'd even consider him a friend.
You waited for his reply before putting in motion the preparations for your departure.
In the meantime, you and Nikolai kept conducting your separate lives. Usually, you'd only see him at night when he returned to your chambers if you were still up. Now, you had decided to sleep in separate rooms too.
If he wanted a wife, then a wife he'd get. But kings and queens do not sleep together.
If the new arrangement was bothering him, you didn't know. He hadn't reached out to you nor made any move to rectify your decision.
Turns out that he wasn't even at the Palace. He had left for a mission near the border with Shu Han and wouldn't be back for at least a week. Well, then. Of course, he didn't even bother with telling you. Not even a small note.
Jokes on him though, you thought, since when he was going to come back, he'd finally get what he wanted. You weren't going to be there to bother him anymore.
Differently from him though, you did indeed left him a note. Nikolai found it a week after you had set it on his pillow. Its presence made him furrow his eyebrows since he had already been wondering where you were. You usually came out to meet him at the gates whenever he'd come back from a mission and even though you had fought before he went away, you weren't one for holding grudges. So e guessed there was something holding you.
Unfolding the paper he was met with your familiar chaotic writing.
"I don't know when you're going to find this letter but if I'm not there yet it means that I'm still at Count Kirigin's. Do not bother with writing or visiting, I'll come back when my business with him is done.
Y/n"
What in the name of every sweet loving saint???
The letter wasn't dated, no dear, no yours no nothing. Fuck. You were still mad or worse, hurt.
Asking one of the servants, he learned that you had been away for a week already. But what business could you possibly have with the Count??
Nikolai had nothing against him. Seeing Kirigin get all flustered as he tried to flirt with Zoya amused him to no end but the idea of him and you in the same house? Alone?? Unacceptable.
Not even bothering to change clothes after his long journey, Nikolai headed to the stables to ask for a well-rested horse. Luckily, Count Kirigin's estate was not too far away. A couple of hours ride.
Turns out that the Count had a lot to teach. Despite his aloof reputation and extravagant clothes, he was very observant. He lacked ambition, which was why Nikolai trusted him and had a curious way of behaving in social situations.
But Emil had been born and raised in high society. He knew how things were run even if he had no desire to be in charge of them.
So far, you'd be having a wonderful time. Emil was a wonderful host, as you remembered, but without Nikolai's presence, he was even more extravagant. He had an unexpectedly dry sense of humour and a never-ending list of jokes.
Being in the open and in the company of someone who saw y/n instead of the Queen of Ravka proved to be even more needed than you thought. You felt reinvigorated and much lighter than you'd ever been.
You had also been learning a lot. Emil had been teaching you about diplomacy. About the best ways of formulating a sentence so that you wouldn't offend anyone but still get what you wanted. He had also been talking to you about your husband's ministers. About their weaknesses and vices and what was the best way to approach them to get what you wanted.
So far, it was proving to be a wonderful decision to come here.
Whenever your mind strayed on Nikolai, you willed it to focus on something else. You didn't know if he had already come home or seen the letter. A part of you thought that if he had, he would at least write one back. But the thought felt a lot like hope and seeing as how little he saw you even before you left, you didn't think it safe to harbour it.
When Nikolai reached the estate, he was met with Kirigin's servants. They welcomed him inside and profusely apologised for the Count's absence. They told him that at this time of the day, Kirigin and his guest would usually go out on a ride but that they were also about to return.
So Nikolai waited, sitting in the most comfortable chair the Count owned, fuming at the thought that his wife had felt the need to go away and be in the company of another man.
"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be Nikolai. You'd do well to remember it."
Your words haunted him. They were the last thing that you told him. How stupid had he been to let you walk away. How utterly careless of him to disregard you like that.
He had promised himself to truly talk to you about it once this pressing matter of state was taken care of. Apparently, he had waited too long.
But Nikolai knew that the problem was at the source. He noticed how hurt you had been when he made Zoya his first in command. Or how sad you seemed everywhere he went somewhere with her and didn't ask you to join.
He was doing so to protect you from the inevitable slander you'd be met with. He should have known though that putting you aside was going to be even worse. You were a fighter just as much as Zoya was, if not stronger.
She hid behind her veil of indifference and superiority while you had never lost that emphatic verve that made everyone love you so much. In his attempt to make you safe, he had only managed to hurt you.
You were a warrior. You had accepted the role of queen only because it was the only way for you to be with Nikolai. And instead of praising you by making you a warrior queen, he had decided to hide you away.
Well, no more.
If his mistakes had not ruined everything already, he was going to make everything better.
Lost in his musing, he didn't hear the sound of hooves approaching but he did indeed hear your laugh. It immediately brought him back to the present and a wave of ugly jealousy hit him.
He couldn't remember the last time he made you laugh.
"I shouldn't even laugh Emil, the joke was terrible," Nikolai hear you giggling from somewhere in the hall. So now he was Emil, huh.
"You know you can't resist my charm, your highness," Emil replied and Nikolai had to call on every bit of his self-control to not barge out of the room and punch him.
"Stop it, you know you can call me y/n."
Before Emil could reply, they had both made it to the sitting room where Nikolai was waiting for them. It looked like no one had warned them of his presence because Kirigin looked surprised then utterly mortified.
"Your majesty, I wasn't aware you were here. Please forgive me for making you wait."
"Don't fret Kirigin, it was an impromptu visit. I came to see how my lovely wife was doing." No matter how green he was feeling right now, he knew that Kirigin was loyal to him and the crown. Whatever was happening here wasn't one of his schemes.
"Of course! I'm going to send for some tea while you two get reunited." Kirigin quickly bowed before hurrying out of the room.
Nikolai met your eyes for the first time since you had arrived. If at first, you were surprised to see him, now you couldn't help but be a bit sceptical about this visit.
"What are you doing here?" you asked breaking the ice.
"You leave with only a few lines on where you're going and you expect me to just accept it?" He scoffed, his hands curling on the armrests of the chair.
"It's more than what you gave me," you quipped, crossing your arms on your chest.
Nikolai sighed while his gloved hands run through his hair. You were right and he knew it. He had been a horrible husband lately.
"I know you're mad at me, honey, but listen-"
"I'm not mad. You didn't want to give me what I wanted so I went looking for it somewhere else." Scrolling your shoulders, you interrupted him without meeting his eyes. A list of excuses was not what you wanted nor what you needed from him.
Nikolai didn't miss the innuendo. His jaw clenched, his hands closed in fists. But he willed himself to stay calm.
"You think Kirigin can give you something that I can't?" Nikolai was a master in diplomacy. Never did he get frustrated or angry or raised his voice, even with the most aggravating people. Here though, with you, he didn't have to keep a façade. He spoke through his teeth barely containing his anger.
"Well, so far, he's been giving me attention and interesting pointers that no, Nikolai, you refused to give me."
"So this is how you solve your problems? Running away in the countryside with Emil?" Nikolai sneered, his tone souring around Kirigin's name.
"Don't you do the same with your precious first in command?" Tired after your ride with Emil, you plopped down on the chair in front of Nikolai's. Completely ignoring his tone, you pointed out calmly. The perfect image of aloofness even when it was the last thing you were in this moment.
"That's different," he snapped trying to meet your eyes that were carefully analyzing your hands.
"Yes," you signed, "it seems that when I'm concerned everything is different."
"There's nothing between me and Zoya, y/n and you know it." Nikolai was getting more frustrated by the second. He came here to apologize, to make things right and so far, the conversation was going in the opposite directions.
"Maybe now, but you spend more time with her than you do with me. It's only a matter of time before it happens and you're sorely mistaken if you think I'll just stand by and watch."
"This is not about Zoya," he insisted but so far, he wasn't getting the reaction out of you he wanted. You seemed... resigned at the situation. And that worried Nikolai to no end.
"It never is."
"Why did you run away?" Opting for a more direct approach, he bit the bullet and went straight to the point.
"I did not run away," you scoffed in contempt at his choice of words, "I told you I wanted to do more and Emil is teaching me. Not everyone is so against spending time with me, you know." You shot him a glance.
It was the first time that you had looked at him since you had been left alone.
"I married you, y/n. How can you possibly believe I don't want to spend time with you?" As desperation slipped through his words, Nikolai leaned towards you in his seat. As if he couldn't bear the distance between you anymore. But you knew it wasn't that. You and he had been distant for months now.
"Because that's what's happening, Nikolai," you clipped back and Nikolai had to refrain from wincing at your tone.
"It's not intentional, my love, I've just been busy." His tone softened. It was a poor excuse of an apology but it was sadly the truth.
"But when I say that I want to join or help you with it you strongly oppose?" Again, there was that suspicious implication in your words that Nikolai just couldn't stand. To think that you believed he'd ever cheat on you with another woman when he had done so much, taken so many risks, to be with you.
"It's not what you think, y/n." He insisted again but immediately realized he had said the wrong thing when he saw you leaning back into your chair shaking your head.
"I don't think anything, anymore. Do whatever you want. You do your thing and I'll do mine. I won't be a bother to you anymore." Holding up your hands, you gestured as you spoke.
A beat. Nikolai froze in his seat at what you were suggesting.
"You're never a bother to me. Never." He leaned even forwards in his chair, basically only propping on it now. The desperation was now clear in his voice. He reached out to you to try and take hold of your hands but you were too distant.
"I love you more than anything in this world and if you think that I'm going to let you go without a fight, you're sorely mistaken." The steel determination of his words caught you off guard. Nikolai was strong-headed, you knew that better than anyone else, but it had been a long while since that determination had been directed to you.
"You already did." It was barely a whisper. The sad truth about your reality, the downfall of your relationship. The wavering of your voice, the pain in your eyes were enough to tip Nikolai off the edge.
"Milaya, please."He fell onto his knees in front of you. Leaning forward he reached for your hands that he could now hold. "I'm sorry. I put you in a difficult position when I married you and I tried my best to protect you."
"I don't need protecting, Nikolai, especially if it's by pushing me away."
"I was keeping you away from danger and I know that you're strong and capable but I hate to think of you as the object of public slander." His eyes darted between yours, frantic, desperate to make you understand.
"I'm Grisha, Nikolai. It's nothing new to me," you pointed out but then it hit you.
"By difficult position, you meant a Grisha Queen, didn't you?" Your eyes hardened at the implications, your hands going slack in his hold. You would have pulled them away if Nikolai didn't tighten his hold.
"Please, do not think I'm regretting my choice or I think you're not worthy of the title because that's not true." Pulling your hands, he tried to get you closer to him. "I fear that there will be repercussions among the people." And there it was, at last, the truth.
"And among your ministers," you added remembering Emil's lessons on the people at court and their role.
You scoffed when he stayed silent. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought I was doing the right thing, my love."
"So Zoya can handle it and I can't?"
"For the millionth time," he groaned, "I don't care about Zoya."
"I only care about you and I know you can handle it. I just didn't want you to. You deserve happiness and peaceful life and I know it's impossible to have in this saints' forsaken country but I can at least try." His eyes lowered in shame and his confession sent a pang through your heart. You took a moment to take in what he said.
Never had you thought about the possibility of Nikolai's distance was a form of protection. You were a soldier of the Second Army, after all. But being a queen, especially a Grisha one, was a delicate thing.
It was the first time in history that something like this happened. Nikolai's worries were not unfounded since even after the destruction of the Fold, anti-Grisha movements were spreading fast.
It was sad to see the General's attempt of assuring safety for Grisha, provoking exactly the opposite thing.
"Oh, Kolya," returning his grip, you leaned towards him, "I just want a life with you by my side."
"As do I. I want you always and forever but above all, I want you safe. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know it right?"
"I just ask that you tell me the truth and let me play the role I've been given."
"It's not going to be easy. People at court-"
"I know. That's why I'm here. Emil's been teaching."
"Well, no more. I'm going to take care of it from now on."
"Is this a promise or a threat?"
"Rest assured my love, the difference between the two is almost nonexistent." He flashed you a smirk and you couldn't help but smile at him. Here it was, your beloved Nikolai.
"Things are going to change, aren't they?" you murmured softly as he gently rested his forehead against yours.
"We're going to show everyone what a "power couple" is." Here was his promise. Sealed with the gentlest nudging of his nose to yours. The action made you smile and your heart soar. You missed these little moments of intimacy with him.
One of his hands came to cradle your face as the other kept hold of your left hand. Your rings softly clicked as they touched. A form of reassurance.
"I love you, y/n."
"And I you, Kolya."
You were completely lost in your little bubble, even more so when Nikolai's lips finally met yours, that you had forgotten where you were. And that there was an embarrassed Kirigin outside the door waiting for the right moment to come in with tea.
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allmightluver · 3 years
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**bnha spoilers** I'm just sat here with renewed realisation of what All Might is going through. 40 years. /40 years/ he held and refined that power and dedicated his every waking (and sleeping if Vigilantes is anything to go by) moment towards the goal of defeating AfO and creating a society in which people could feel happy and safe. And now as it turns out AfO is still alive, society is broken and he has given a literal piece of his soul to this young boy leaving himself with only phantoms
Yes. I don’t think people quite grasp what all he’s going through.
It’s been shown recently to us that some, if not most, heroes have underlying ambitions in becoming a hero. Whether for money, glory, fame, popularity, doesn’t matter. They’re ultimately in it for themselves. Toshinori’s intentions from the beginning have been the most pure- he wanted to be a symbol that people can look to and know things will be ok. A symbol of hope. This boy was only around 14 years old when he decided this. What kind of 14 year old sees the world that clearly? Sees that people have no hope, that a veil of darkness covers them. The only thing I can think of is- Toshinori did not have a good childhood. Something had to have happened to a boy that young to stop seeing the joy in life so early, and see the world’s flaws. Truthfully, I believe he was an outcast- due to his quirklessness. Most likely an orphan, perhaps abandoned by his parents, as we’ve never seen him have any family. I do truly believe Toshinori has been alone all his life. I don’t doubt more could have happened to him as a child before he met Nana. 
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Some may argue that Izuku is the same age, and therefore it shouldn’t be that hard to see why Toshinori wanted to be a hero at such a young age. BUT, Izuku had someone to look up to, ever since he was a child of four years old, to inspire him to be a hero his whole life *cough cough* All Might. Izuku also was quirkless, much like Toshinori, and an outcast because of it (hence where I assume Toshinori was much the same). But ultimately, Izuku wanted to save people because he saw his hero do it. It really wasn’t until Izuku was a bit older, has been in UA, has been on rescue missions, has seen what the heroes see, that I think he’s truly realized how dark the world really is. Toshinori didn’t have that. He didn’t have someone to inspire him as a child, someone to look up to, a hero to inspire him to help others. At that time, heroes hadn’t become as popular as they are in present times. Toshinori saw the world for what it was, on his own, at a tender age. I think that day Nana ran into this blonde hair kid, she eyed him up, noticed his scraggly form, looked into those captivating blue eyes, and saw a man who’s lived through the world’s horrors- experienced the worst it has to offer-, and wants to save everyone he can from the same fate, all in a 14 year old boy. 
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Then after only a few short years with the woman he saw as his mother, she’s killed in front of him because of his own weakness- he wasn’t strong enough yet to protect her. The only other person his life, Gran Torino, literally abused him. He beat him to a pulp, taking his own emotions out on a teenager, and I doubt Toshinori said anything of it. He probably thought he deserved it. He’s still afraid of Gran Torino to this day, remembering the beatings and expecting more for his failures- even if he doesn’t know what they are surely he’s at fault for something, but he’s the only person who’s stood by his side for this long. Even while at a distance, and spouting nothing but criticisms along the way. But Toshinori had to put aside his own emotions to be that hope for everyone. He left everything he knew to go to a new country on his own, to learn how to be a hero, to be that hope for someone.
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Vigilantes showed us just how hard he worked. Toshinori literally stayed awake with no sleep for days on end- 3 in the chapter I’m referencing- because people needed help, people needed saving, and no one else stepped up. He fought villains, rescued civilians, repaired damage, cleared rubble, (even accept and eat food that was against his dietary restrictions after his injury) whatever the public needed, all while draining himself further. He worked himself to the point of exhaustion because he had no help, once literally falling asleep while mid-leap across the city because he simply could go no further. 
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^^These happen in succession of each other^^
No one stepped up to say “Hey, Mr. Number 1, you’ve been working hard lately. Let me help you!” No one tried to take over his position. Even the Number 2 hero, Endeavor, never tried to take some of his burden. His only goal was to try to be better than All Might in terms of power- he was never trying to be the hero that the people relied on All Might for. Everyone relied on him when things looked grim. He was the back up plan. And all of this happened before Toshinori’s injury. 
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The only thing he ever wanted to do- help people- he can’t do (at least the way he’s always known how to). The ability to save people has been taken from him in the most gruesome way. He was finally able to fight the man that killed Nana, and in a rage that I’m sure echoed with all of the emotions of the previous users, he smashed that man’s head like a grape. But not without consequence. Several organs are gone. The pain is excruciating. He wears that man’s mark on his body for the rest of his life, never truly able to rid himself of the filth.
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Then we have Nighteye’s betrayal. The man that helped him as a sidekick, the man that grew to be his only friend. Now some people may ask why Toshinori flipped like he did to Nighteye looking into his future when he was concerned about him making it through his injury. What I believe is Toshinori didn’t want to know when he would die (and really, who does). Now he knows he’s on a time limit, knows the clock is ticking. Time is running out to keep the world at peace, and with him as he is now, how long can this go on? 
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I think the betrayal, doing something that Toshinori specifically asked him not to do, is what hurt the most. How can he trust Nighteye anymore? He already can only count on one hand the people he can trust, let alone befriend.
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He’s wasted away into a skeleton, a shell of the man he used to be. He can’t over exert himself without his only lung bleeding in protest. It’s canon in the side books that he really doesn’t eat much, which isn’t good for his diet without a stomach now (he’s supposed to have several small meals a day). He is quite literally punishing himself by starving. (Granted, he doesn’t feel hunger anymore.) He’s a sick man, beyond medical help at this point. They can only stabilize him and hope for the best. For five years now he’s in constant pain, every day. He loses blood like sweat. Surely his veins are bruised and collapsed with how many times he would have needed to be hospitalized. Whether from losing too much blood, being too dehydrated or starved from “forgetting” to eat, or an organ failing as body continues to fall apart. “...even as my body rots and grows frail...” - Toshinori People are bound to stare at him as he walks down the street. A tall, willowy, skeleton with a grimace on his face and blood stains on his clothes as he coughs up more into his own hands. There would be the ones who outright ignore him when they walk by, the people who offer pitying smiles and sympathetic glances or just outright stare, and then ones who are afraid of his appearance- children screaming at the mere sight of him and running to their parents to hide from the monster. Each one is another knife in Toshinori’s side, an ache in his chest. If only they knew who I really am.
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Losing Nighteye took a toll on his hero work as well. Mirai was a huge help in the past, and took care of all Toshinori’s paperwork, while also reminding him to take care of himself. Without him, Toshinori was even more buried beneath his responsibilities. Plus, now he was on a time limit. He even snapped briefly in his first meeting with Tsukauchi, accidentally revealing himself as All Might because he was under too much pressure, and telling the detective he literally couldn’t handle doing everything by himself (who graciously took over the paperwork side of things for him). 
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He was living a double life now, having to lie to people left and right about who he was while in his small form, about how he became so sickly, why he was here in the first place who the heck is this skinny old guy. Surely he had multiple visits to the doctor while continuing to repair the damage done by AFO (there’s a limit to how much the body can handle at once. And things I’m sure continued to fail as time went on). Then he would be bedridden for as long as the doctors could keep him strapped to a bed, until he couldn’t take the people’s cries for help any longer, and would jump into action. (It’s also revealed he has something of a super hearing- able to hear danger- which may have been a form of danger sense of OFA that was never fully unlocked?. Either way, he surly could sense disasters happening while he could only lay and heal from his latest surgery. Those poor doctors must have had to re-stitch him several times). People blame him for not preparing society for his retirement, that he failed in passing on the torch so to speak, but in reality he did everything possible to keep society from falling for 40 years, doing all within his power just to keep things afloat. He is only one person. One human being, he can’t do everything despite trying to. Society failed All Might.
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People blame him for not being a good teacher. He didn’t exactly have the greatest teacher himself to learn from. He’s never had to teach anyone anything, he just punches! He’s learning. And for his own credit, he’s an incredibly wise man, he has years of experience under his belt, and an intelligence score of 6/6, scoring up there with Nezu! He may not always have the right way to bring something up, but he’s doing his best. Yet even he blames himself for Izuku not being able to control his quirk better. Every time the boy hurts himself, it’s just another tally on the chalkboard of Toshinori’s failures. He himself knows the boy deserves better, better than him. Useless. Pathetic.
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Then his friend from America, Dave, essentially became a villain trying to preserve Toshinori’s legacy after Toshinori told him about his injury. Dave went behind his back, threatened people, injured people (pretty sure people died), all for Toshinori’s sake. Something he didn’t want to begin with. Having to put your only other friend in jail for trying to help you surely couldn’t have been easy.
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Oh, by the way? All For One isn’t dead. All Might will fight him again, publicly, have his weakened form exposed to the world, and have his own emotions toyed with as he finds out about his master’s grandson in the villain’s hands. Would Nana hate him for leaving her son alone like she’d asked, and dooming her grandchild to be raised by the greatest villain? Could he have done anything to save him? But Toshinori isn’t allowed to feel, he has to smile and push his own feelings aside once again, because there’s a villain to be fought, and only he can fight him. Despite coming out on top, he’ll have suffered severe head trauma, broken left arm, destroyed right arm, and several cuts and bruises that are sure to scar. And then, his quirk, the only thing that’s been allowing him to help people, the gift given to him that he carefully held for 40 years and molded into his own until his very consciousness was permanently carved into it, blows out like a match in the wind. And he’s done. Used up. Empty. Broken. Hollow. Alone, again.
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He overhears his student, Bakugo, admit that he blames himself for All Might’s retirement. If he hadn’t been captured, All Might wouldn’t have had to save him, and he wouldn’t have had to fight AFO. Of course Toshinori knows that’s not true, his time was about to run out anyway. It would have happened one way or another. But how can he explain to this child that he wasn’t the cause of his hero, the world’s greatest hero, fighting for his sake, bleeding for his sake, being forced into retirement to keep him safe. Every time Bakugo sees the bandages covering Toshinori’s body is another reminder of the pain and sacrifice Toshinori willingly gave to keep him safe. Toshinori wasn’t held when his mentor died. He wasn’t told it was ok to be sad, that grief and mourning was a natural process, that it takes time to heal. He wasn’t told it was ok to cry. Instead his feelings were beaten out of him as he wondered if Gran Torino blamed him for Nana’s death. He already blamed himself How then, does he comfort a child mourning for him? For what he lost.
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And then he gets the call to come to the hospital. Mirai, Nighteye, his old sidekick friend, has been gravely injured, much like he himself was only a few years ago, and most likely won’t survive the night. And to his horror, Nighteye is happy to see him, smiles at him, says he doesn’t hate him for what happened, only wants Toshinori to be happy. He can’t accept that, at least let him apologize, reconcile his sins before it’s too late! But it is. Another fractured piece of his heart gone.
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Of course, seeing your students beat up and their arms completely destroyed must have hurt. Instead of being able to save these kids, they’re the ones that hurt themselves to save everyone else. And if Bakugo had kept OFA, things could have been very different (especially with what we know now of OFA and people with quirks). Toshinori wasn’t mad at Izuku for transferring it away, he’d never regret choosing Izuku, and I believe he still would have stayed by Izuku and Bakugo’s side should it have stayed in Bakugo, doing whatever he could to help.
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As he tells Aizawa, “I’ve decided to live,” -that statement seems so melancholy, besides obvious reasons. It sounds more like another task he has to accomplish. He didn’t die he was supposed to die with the AFO fight, and now the whole life he lived is over. The world has no use for him anymore. If not for Izuku, he’d have nothing left keeping him here. But because his boy made him promise to live, he’ll do so. Though it almost seems like he says those words with regret. “I’ve decided to live.” Not, “I’m going to live!” “Nothing can kill me!” “I won’t go down without a fight!” No. “I’ll live if I have to, only because you asked me to.” The man is obviously and outwardly depressed. He has so many things against him. No doubt has severe PTSD, anxiety, among others. Not to mention his own physical health. Every day hurts. It’s painful to be alive. Why would he torture himself if he doesn’t have to? For you, my boy. You’re the only thing keeping me here. The only light in my dark world.
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He tries to help Izuku find out the previous holder’s quirks, to help his boy in any way he can now that he’s worthless, and goes days on end without sleep, running his body into the ground. He even forgets Christmas. Only to find that by giving the boy the same gift he had received, he may have just doomed him to an early death, among psychological torture (danger detection). (Granted, he really doesn’t know how everything works, and he’s afraid to talk to anyone about it). His boy could live only half a life.
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It’s only been a few months since he retired, and society has fallen into shambles. People are blaming him. People are dying. He watches helplessly as his colleague fight his fight for him, and end up battered, bruised, crippled, dead. He students, his boy, battle the monster he should have killed. Children are bleeding. This shouldn’t happen. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Is everything he worked for, everything he fought to protect, to build up, to inspire, is all for naught?! Did he live a foolish dream and doom the world? Was all the the friends he lost, tears he shed, the organs he destroyed, the pain he endures on a daily basis from the hole in his side, and the blood he continues to bleed every day, for nothing? The public, the ones he protected for so long, mourn his absence, but surely there are those among them who also blame him. The statue from his last fight in Kamino one that he never asked for was decimated in a mock of his catch phrase- the one that was supposed to give hope.
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Now he can feel his own vestige speaking with Izuku in the OFA realm, even with out OFA in his own body anymore. His clock as nearly reached it’s limit, Nighteye’s prediction is due any day now. The only thing he wants is to see his boy smile at him, to give him some shred of hope. Yet the child remains unconscious, and Toshinori can’t even hold his hand from the bandages covering his arms. Will he still be able to fight? Is there any coming back from this now? Did I break him?
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With all Toshinori has been through, I’m honestly surprised we haven’t seen him just outright break down. Anyone, anyone, else should have crumbled under the pressure of holding up the world for 40 years alone. And instead of being able to pass it on to someone when he can no longer bear its weight, it simply falls to into the abyss. People don’t credit All Might enough for everything he’s done. Most don’t realize the sacrifices he’s made. His character is so unbelievably profound and deep, it’s more than just the “I am here!” people focus on. He’s a deeply troubled, layered, complex character. And I can’t find fault within him.
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writingwithcolor · 2 years
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Okay so I'm a Black trans girl writing a romance story with a black trans girl protagonist. Her love interest is a Han Chinese man. His family threatens to disown him because she's black ... and trans and he has to decide whether or not to continue the relationship. Is this ... I guess good?
I'm basing it on my own experiences with antiblackness and transmisogynoir from nonblack/cis partners I've had and their families ... which haven't been the most accepting. My main worry is that I'm letting my own experiences/perceptions color the story too much when there might be better routes it could take.
Trans Black girl writing interracial relationship: Black trans girl, Chinese man. Chinese man’s family is transphobic and anti-Black.
I think that discussing anti-Black racism within Chinese communities is something we really need more of, and your perspective as a Black trans girl is completely valid.
Even within China and Chinese diasporic communities there’s racism against other Asians & colorism against darker Chinese people-- the marginalization of Black people is not contingent on white supremacy, and painting it as such is ineffective when it comes to challenging racism in all communities.
Avoiding Sinophobia when writing transphobic and racist Chinese characters-- I think it’s important to make the distinction that these aren’t a result of these characters being Chinese. Racism is present within other communities as well, as is transphobia. As I mentioned, treating racism as a “only whites need to work on this” issue completely ignores the kind of conversations regarding racism from POC against other POC.
To this, I’d also argue that writing about your own experiences is the best route you could take. This is a critical topic that I find in Chinese communities. Sinophobia from Black people is weaponized as an excuse to push an anti-Black agenda from non-Black people under the guise of “we care about the Chinese/look up to Chinese people as your models”. Above all, it’s important that the voices in the conversation of “racism between Chinese and Black people” be actual Chinese and Black people.
I’d suggest having someone who is Chinese sensitivity read your work. Biracial Black/Chinese people, and Chinese people in interethnic relationships I believe would be the most knowledgeable.
-- mod Em
Anti-Blackness is definitely a thing in Chinese people (IIRC there’s been racist behavior with African people living in China from Han Chinese people from blackface to harassment). I don’t have much experience as a monoracial Han Chinese, but I have noticed the older gens adhering to the model minority myth when speaking to them about anti-Blackness. Some of it does stem from ignorance, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to point out that it exists.
-- Jess 
I think Em and Jess make good points, but I want to encourage your to check in with yourself as you write this story. This story is your lived truth, and anti-blackness, xenophobia and transphobia are all common problems in East Asian societies. However, to prevent the story from becoming caricature, you’d have to find ways to make these forms of bias make sense for the characters who hold them, which means humanizing them. I’ve only experienced bigotry from other East Asians for my race and my heritage, and I still struggle to be objective.
Separately, speaking personally as someone who went to school in a majority Chinese environment, I don’t know if disowning is always realistic unless a large amount of money is involved or the parent is unusually bigoted. My classmates certainly would have been very wary of introducing a Black or brown partner to their parents, but disowning a child in a culture that prioritizes filial piety and where the elderly rely on younger generations for end of life care is an extreme step, and one parents know they can’t back down from. It’s a play of last resort, so I’d make sure the context of the disowning is framed around that cultural reality.
-  Marika
November 2021
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guaxinimraccoon · 3 years
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jesus christ why-
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oh mY DEAR GOD-
FIRST OF ALL I'm SO sorry for taking so damn long to answer those, I've been really really busy and I'm very sorry, I'm doing my best to answer everybody ; o ;
BUT FINALLY let's talk about our big last Euphoria reveal (about four months ago but ok-), where I showed you guys that Alex is Brad's father and Elisa is Toby's mom.
"BUT GUAX WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK??? HOW?? WHEN??? WHERE??"
SHUSH , CALM YOUR TITS DOWN and let me explain:
Ok, so I'll be putting some links here and there because yes, Alex and Elisa's story is very, VERY connected to Brad and Toby's. 
And get ready for a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long post. You were warned.
As you all already know, Alex and Elisa had a troublesome meeting, but eventually got closer to each other, they fell in love yadda yadda yadda BUT their will to get closer to each other, in other words, their relationship brought HUGE consequences.
Yes, they did manage to build a healthy relationship, they were happy, they were fine.
But they were also adults, adults that wanted something serious and concrete, they couldn't spend the rest of their lives as forbbiden lovers.
So Elisa did something literally illegal. She did a potion that was forbidden by the Colony authorities - a shrunken potion - to get closer to Alex.
Those potions were never developed, they're rustic and really antique, so they could do more harm than good or not work at all.
But Alex didn't care, he took the risk and drank the potion to get closer to his girl, the woman that was the love of his life.
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The effect of the potion is temporary, so Alex would drink them from time to time whenever he had the opportunity to visit the Colony, spend some time with Elisa and, of course, be a part of her life.
He wasn't just trying to "be like her", he was also trying to be a part of her home. He made friends with her friends, he met her family, he met new imps, new fairies, all of it under his "imp disguise". He even fought for the Colony at it's war times (that is lasting till the current story time). He EVEN presented himself with a more “impish name” - Turk - to make sure people wouldn’t suspect anything.
Of course, people eventually started to ask why didn’t he live in the Colony with Elisa, why did he only showed up from time to time. Alex and Elisa lied, obviously, they told everyone that Alex belonged to a secluded imp tribe that lived walking around the forest as nomads, which made sense since those types of imp communities do exist.
ANYWAY THE POINT IS Alex grew affectioned of those people and with their lifestyle. He started to feel like he was one of them. 
And, of course, he was now closer than he ever was to Elisa.
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Since they were different species, they never worried about having kids. I’ve never said this before but Alex is a doctor, he knows about this stuff, so he always made sure to reassure Elisa that "they were their own condon" and, as sad as it may sound, they couldn't have kids.
... Or so Alex thought.
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You know how tigers and lions can have offspring together? Yeah, it's the same thing.
It's very hard to happen, but they spent YEARS together if you know what I mean so yeah
That's how Alex and Elisa gave birth to their first child: Tobias, the only one of a specie that is a mix between human and imp.
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His parents were really worried at first, afterall, they new NOTHING about Toby's condition. They didn't know if he was going to grow as large as a human or if he'd assume imp proportions forever. After some research with his son's blood, Alex found out that Toby was indeed half human and half imp, but he was predominantly physically an imp. That means his biological features are, mostly, imp like: he'd hardly grow as large as a human through his life's course and could live as a normal imp in the Colony. The fact that he showed talent for magic (once he was old enough to do so) and was able to do it just like any other imp in the Colony also made things easier.
Elisa and Alex chose to raise Toby in the Colony, they believed it’d be healthier and safer for him (especially after some events that I’ll be talking about in other posts), although it hurt Alex to pretend that he was an imp to his son and that he couldn’t see him everyday. 
Even if they couldn’t see each other everyday, Alex and Toby were very close. Toby loved his daddy very much and was very attached to him.
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After five years after Toby was born, Elisa got pregnant again and gave birth to their second child: Bernardo (that’d eventually be nicknamed as “Brad”), one of the two only beings of the specie Alex and Elisa accidently created together.
For preucation, Alex took a bit of Brad’s blood and made some research, just like he did to Toby.
And what he found out wasn’t exactly... relieving.
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Brad, just like Toby, was half human and half imp, but he had expressed mostly human features in his physical body. He was as small as a baby imp now, but it was a matter of time until he started to grow very VERY large.
Unlike Toby, Brad couldn’t live as an imp in the Colony and things got very complicated for them.
Alex wanted to leave. He told Elisa the Colony’s community would NEVER accept their youngest, they would never accept Alex and probably wouldn’t accept Toby either. They had to leave that place before they couldn’t hide the truth anymore, even if it cost revealing Toby, a five year old child, that most of his life was a lie.
But Elisa was hesitant. She didn’t want to leave her home, her parents, her friends. She knew Alex was right, they couldn’t stand that play for too long, but how to leave everything she had built behind? How to leave everything she knew as home behind? It wasn’t that easy.
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Until something very bad happened.
Remember I said Alex made a few friends in the Colony? So, one of them was Stefan, a experienced fairy soldier that had known Elisa for as long as she was alive. He was pretty much her best friend (even if he was old enough to be her father) and now he was also great friends with Alex.
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Stefan is important here. He has a very tragic backstory involving humans. He lost pretty much everything to them: his whole family and his wings, something that meant more than just flying to him.
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So, as expected, he hates humans and truly believes that they are nothing more than monsters that try to manipulate you and to get advantage from imp’s and fairy’s magic. 
After some years, he started to get very suspicious over Alex. Some things weren’t making any sense anymore and that “nomad imp community” was starting to sound way more like an excuse than the actual truth. He simply didn’t understand what was stopping him to live with Elisa and his sons for once.
So he did some investigation. One day, he followed Alex (that he knew as Turk) out of the Colony, in one of the days he had only come to visit his family. Alex had said earlier that he had to “go back to his own society”. Yeah, right. Stefan was hiding the whole time and followed Alex till a good distane from the Colony’s limits. 
And he didn’t get exaclty happy to see his best friend growing impossibly huge out of nowhere.
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Stefan now knew the truth: Alex was pretending to be an imp using shrinking potions. He didn’t belong to any nomad imp group, he was a human that lived in his own house and was coming to the Colony to play family with them.
Of course, he didn’t only felt betrayed, but pissed as fuck. Stefan didn’t waste any time: as soon as Alex came back to the Colony he confronted him. Alex tried to explain himself, but they only argued and ended up having a pretty bad fight.
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In anger, Stefan didn’t want to hear no more explanations, so he told some of the Colony’s high authorities about Alex’s lies and that they had to do something about it. 
The Colony’s Council decided to call Elisa and solve things between imps and fairies only. But they showed her no mercy.
They basically gave her two options: or she’d prove her loyalty to the Colony and would kill her husband and her human son, or the Colony would sentence all of them to death penalty, including Toby and Brad, children that they claimed should have never been born. 
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Elisa was in shatters. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t kill the man she loved and her baby child, she just couldn’t. She was about to accept the second option, rathering die with her family than killing them, but Stefan decided to help her out.
He wasn’t expecting the Council to be so cruel and he started to regret his decisions the moment he saw how Elisa was worried about her family and how much she loved them, even if they were human. He hated Alex and Brad, but seeing Elisa in excruciating pain over them was impossible for him, so he made up a plan with her to save everybody.
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It cost Elisa to trust Stefan, he had told their secrets to the worst people possible, but she had no option aside from accepting his help and following his plan.
The plan was simple: Elisa would tell the Council she’d kill Alex and Brad and would tell Alex that she had changed her mind and that they should leave the Colony as soon as possible now that Stefan knew the truth.
Alex believed her and, after Stefan’s confirmation, so the Council did. The next step was to take Alex and Brad to the Colony’s limits, pretending they were about to leave. 
Then it happened.
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Elisa made, with Stefan’s help, a huge barrier on the Colony’s frontier that didn’t allowed humans to cross it. It was basically a security method that they never thought it’d be necessary.
But now it was and it wasn’t meant to protect the ones inside the Colony...
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Of course, Alex didn’t understand SHIT.
He spent MONTHS returning to the Colony in his shrinking form, trying to find a way to cross the barrier and to get Toby back. 
Or to talk to Elisa.
Or to understand.
Or anything.
He just wanted his family.
Eventually, his potions ended and he was left to raise Brad on his own and to never see his wife and oldest son again.
Since then, he hates Elisa. Or at least thinks he does. He’s just deeply mad at her, he doesn’t understand why she left them. 
He did everything for her. Denyed his own race, submitted himself to the dangerous effects of a extremely nocive potion which he faces the consequences till this day, did his fucking best to be the best father and husband his family could have-
All this love, all this effort, all this sweat and blood
Wasted.
It took years for him to fully recover. Aside from the health problems the abusive use of the shrinking potions brought, he also became alcohoolic. Because he wasn’t mentally estable enough, neither to take care of himself and of his very very small son, he went to live in his parents house. His family knew about Elisa and the children they had together, his folks actually liked her a lot so it saddened them as well that she simply abandoned Alex and Brad and that they would never see Toby again.
His family didn’t had to worry about Brad’s very little size for too long though, before he was one year old he had already reached his human size.
Anyway, Alex’s family gave him a huge help until he was healthy enough to take care of Brad, the only one left from the family he built.
Back to Elisa, she didn’t told Alex her plan because she KNEW he wouldn’t want to do it. She simply knew Alex would be too stubborn. He’d have wanted to try to escape or to face the Council. Both alternatives would get them all killed.
Toby didn’t understand why his mother did what she did. He was forced to go back home with her, screaming the whole time, saying that they left his father and brother behind while Elisa was crying endelessly.
Stefan came to them eventually and calmed Toby down. His heart broke when he saw Elisa. She was... not okay.
Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to assist her. He immediatly went to a representent of the Council and took them to Elisa and to the Colony’s frontier to prove that she had done it and did even more than she was suppose to. Of course, not without consequences to her sanity, she had just killed her husband and baby, of course she was in pain.
Nevertheless, the Council confirmed Elisa had done her part and left to leave her alone with the child they let live.
After that, Toby spent weeks returning to that spot of the frontier to look for his dad and brother. No sucess.
As time went by, he eventually forgot about Brad, he was very young when they tore apart and Elisa and Stefan never talked about him nor Alex. All he can remember is that there was a baby in the middle of that mess, but he can’t relate to it.
He kept the memories of his father though, who was closer to him, and till this day he believes he’s alive somewhere and that he can be found. But he has no idea he’s a human and has no idea of his own true nature.
Elisa and Alex miss their respective sons deeply and think about them everyday. They also miss each other very much and the first months after the incident were terribly agonizing for the both of them.
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They kept going for the child that had remained for the both of them and raised them apart from each other. Alex never told Brad what happened and so Elisa did to Toby. Like that, none of the brothers knew about the existence of each other.
Until the day Toby was sent, coincidentally, to his “little” brother’s house
And none of them has no idea of this fucking long backstory I just spent four months writing :)
enjoy
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brittsacademia · 3 years
Note
Dabi marriage hcs? 🥺
Yes? 🥺 So, I made an odd mix of headcanons and mini-scenarios in the form of memories, I guess? Enjoy! Also, to the Dabi simps flocking to my inbox ever since I posted Reminiscent, welcome!
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Marriage HCs
Characters: Dabi X GN!Reader
Genre: Fluff (SFW)
CW:| Soft(ish) Dabi | Swearing | Some suggestive themes | Catcalling (during one of the memories) |
Requests are OPEN!
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• In the first place, being in a relationship with Dabi is complex. After all, he's a villain who's quite stunted emotionally from childhood trauma. It's an extremely slow burn between the two of you, with Dabi not accepting for a very long time that what he felt for you went much deeper than a physical relationship. In all honesty, it terrified him; he didn't want to get attached to people in his line of work, he didn't want to trust anybody.
• Though don't be mistaken, even when Dabi finally comes to terms with his desires to go steady with you, his romantic capabilities are comparable to those of a slab of concrete, and he's in no way what society would consider boyfriend material.
• However, he does appreciate that — no matter how stupid he might think the thought is — you trust him. You're patient with him, and you don't push him out of his comfort zone. You don't pry into his life, letting him open up on his own accord. You genuinely care for his wellbeing, which is something that's continuously throwing him off.
• These are all vital aspects that you're going to need to demonstrate if you want to get far with Dabi.
• It's all so domestic, so normal. When was the last time he felt like this? Villains and normality rarely mixed, yet here he was.
• One moment that hit him hard was a simple one.
"Welcome home, Dabi! I missed you," You said as he walked through your appartment door after being away for a week due to his duties within the League.
• Home? Having a home where he feels safe and loved is not something that Dabi's been blessed with during the entirety of his life. It threw him off guard, and you remember the way his normally stoic, void of emotions expression faltered into one of surprise.
• He wouldn't say it out loud — that's just not how Dabi rolls — but he fucking loves you. So much.
• So, what about marriage? Dabi's not really the type to bring up the subject. He's not against it, but it's not a priority that he feels necessary.
• He's conflicted. On one hand, he doesn't believe that he needs to bind himself to you through legal documents to proclaim his love to you. In fact, the thought of being tied down through legal means doesn't vibe well with him; it just doesn't feel right.
• It does not help that Dabi's biggest exposure to marriage wasn't a positive one: a loveless, forced quirk marriage between his own parents. Growing up in that environment didn't give him the best impressions, and it still — to this day — leaves a bit of a bitter taste in his mouth, even though he's learned upon growing up that his parents' situation doesn't represent the entirety of the population.
• On the other hand, he knows that he sucks at love, and perhaps putting a ring on your finger would be the ultimate show of dedication to you. You'd never have to doubt his feelings ever again after that, right?
• So, in conclusion, Dabi could say that the thought and meaning behind  marriage — should the relationship be a genuine one — is kinda nice, but the process of it is not.
• If he ever does decide to take that step with you, it would be 100% non-traditional.
• His proposal — he'll admit — was extremely out of the blue, not at all thought of, and you had to question him about it since it was so vague.
Your discomfort was more than evident as you made your way down the street in the dead of night back to your appartment. The cause of your discomfort was a group of drunkards, lazily leaning against the brick wall of some rundown bar. The catcalling was lewd, treating you like nothing more than a fuckable slab of meat.
"Aw, c'mere pretty baby!" One of them slurred, making some little, kissy lip-smacking noises as if he was beckoning a cat over to him. "Let's have us some fun."
You supposed you could applaud the sheer audacity and balls that these men possessed, shamelessly 'flirting' with you while Dabi walked right by your side. As if the arm slung around your waist wasn't indicator enough of your relationship status, though you guessed that people like them didn't much care.
"Hot damn, I wouldn't mind slidin' inside of 'em. Baby lookin' fine as fuck."
"Hey, patchworks! Why don't ya bring 'em a lil' closer. C'mon, don't just walk away! Share your pretty toy with us."
Dabi's fingers dug into your skin, an agitated grunt escaping him as he leered at the offending men, daring them to continue.
"Dabi, babe, they're not worth it," you muttered to him, trying to not allow the situation to escalate. As scummy as they were, people like them rarely acted further than hollow words.
But your words didn't reach Dabi, his steps slowing down until he came to a full stop. His expression seemed bored, but you knew better. There was a fire in his eyes that spoke for him, letting on to his malicious intents from the annoyance he felt from the pigs' crude attempts at getting into your pants.
Dabi lightly pushed you away from him, subtly shielding your body with his as a way to both keep you safe and assert dominance.
"Dabi..." you sighed as you watched him take a few steps towards the men. You knew what was coming next, and there was no way you'd be able to change your stubborn boyfriend's mind.
The men seemed to square up, clearly looking for a fight; Dabi kept that bored expression, not at all impressed but somewhat amused by them.
You wondered if they even knew who they were messing with. It wasn't like Dabi was an unrecognizable villain; his face was all across the country. Perhaps they were genuinely clueless, or maybe it was that they were much too drunk to comprehend the severity of the situation they were in. No matter; they were looking for a fight with the wrong person.
"How unfortunate of you to think that you have a chance with my spouse," Dabi said, raising his hand and shooting a burst of flames near the heads of the men.
Dabi had opted to spare them. Not out of the goodness of his heart, but because of the fact that you were both out in the open near a busy bar. He didn't want to risk drawing too much attention.
But nevertheless, it was absolutely comical to see the men immediately shrink in fear, some having a generous portion of their hair burnt off. They ran off, screaming profanities and things along the lines of 'It was just a joke' and 'Chill man, they're not even that hot anyway.'
Dabi clicked his tongue as he watched them run, tails between their legs. "Pitiful."
He continued walking alongside you, as if nothing had happened.
As you walked, you furrowed your brows in confusion as you replayed Dabi's choice of words before he'd scared off the drunken guys.
"Dabi?"
"Hm?"
"Back then, did... did you refer to me as your spouse?" You asked in disbelief.
"And if I did?" He said, sparing you a side glance, the tiniest of smirks stretching at his lips.
You stared for a few seconds in silence, and you knew that your expression clearly conveyed your shock, though it was soon replaced by a gentle smile.
"Well then, I guess I'd have to thank my husband for standing up for me," you said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.
• In the following days, you woke up to an empty bed, and you guessed that it was because Dabi was needed on the field. But what threw you for a loop was that, when you walked into the kitchen, you saw a little velvet box sitting on a note atop your table. Inside the box was a ring.
• The note:
I don't mean to bolt, but the League needed me early. I got this for you. If you're going to be my spouse, you might as well look the part. I'll see you soon, Doll.
~ D.
• It was a weird way to say 'marry me', but you couldn't even be mad. It was so Dabi-like to pull something like that. How he even knew your ring size, you weren't quite sure.
• Again, 100% non-traditional. Besides, finding a priest that would be willing to wed an infamous criminal wouldn't be an easy feat, and it just risked both of you to be ratted out.
• If you're kept a secret from the League, Dabi and you would have your own little ceremony; just the two of you.
• However, if you're on good terms with the League, they will absolutely participate.
• You'd all venture to an abandoned church in the dead of night to hold the ceremony. Kurogiri is absolutely the one to act as the Officiant. You bet your ass that Toga and Magne help you in picking out the best outfit to floor Dabi. Surprisingly enough, Twice volunteered to be Dabi's best man. Shigaraki and Spinner aren't very involved in the wedding, but they still show up regardless, even though Shigaraki is practically grumbling about it. Mr. Compress, being the gentleman that he is, is the one to walk you down the aisle.
• Although Dabi grumbles the entire time about wearing a suit, he finds that the glimmer in your eyes as you take in his appearance is worth it. But don't expect him to dress this fancy ever again!
• And damn it all, you just look absolutely stunning, don't you? Get ready for a passionate night with him after the wedding — perhaps his favourite tradition!
• Dabi does have a matching ring as well, though he only wears it when he's home with you. He wouldn't want to accidentally destroy it with his quirk/in a fight, or manage to lose it while out on missions.
• Sure, you didn't have a honeymoon, and you didn't have that fairy tale kind of wedding that your friends and family had, and you weren't even officially recognized as a married couple. But so what? To you, Dabi's your husband, and you're so honoured that he loves and trusts you to the point of wanting to commit the rest of his life to you.
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Support me, maybe? 🥺
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free-pool-trash · 3 years
Text
happiness - peter maximoff
yay a new peter fic <3 i was feeling a little unmotivated for a few days (since our boy wasn’t in episode 8 at all :/) but im back 😎 although im back in school so i might be on and off for a while 😩✋🏻
!!!it’s not a songfic those lyrics at the start are just my inspo!!!
word count: 5k <3 😳
warnings: maybe swearing but i dont think so i cant remember, peter being sad, angst, but mostly fluff, WandaVision spoilers maybe??? I pretty much made up this plot so idk, endgame spoilers, reader was an avenger, kissing but it’s not graphic😽 probably some mistakes yk how it is
feedback is appreciated <3
tagging: @enchantedcruelsummer (should i make a peter maximoff taglist? let me know and I’ll do it)
masterlist
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haunted by the look in my eyes that would’ve loved you for a lifetime
leave it all behind
& there is happiness
Loneliness had always been something that plagued him. That and a plethora of other negative emotions.
There wasn’t a day that went by where Peter Maximoff wasn’t made to feel like a loser. Admittedly, he’d never held himself to a high standard, he grew up thinking that he’d never fit in anywhere and eventually that thought mutated into a lifestyle as he began isolating himself from the world around him, either far too good or heartbreakingly not enough to be a part of that crowd.
He liked spending time with himself. Nobody else knew him the way he knew him, and still, he found nothing but an overwhelming hollow space where his deepest most important hopes, aspirations, dreams and self discoveries should have resided.
Peter had always put this feeling of exile down to the fact that he was a mutant, it was the most likely explanation, right?
It was only when he’d decided to join the X-Men that he finally came to the conclusion that maybe the rest of the world wasn’t the problem, nor was his mutation the problem, but that he himself was the problem. For even in a school full of people exactly like him he was still the same loser that he was in his mother’s basement.
And he was under no illusions that that was exactly what his teammates saw in him; nothing. No potential. Just a space holder to bring the numbers up.
Super speed was incredible. That’s how Peter acknowledged jobs well done, he praised his speed but never himself. He just saved Charles and Erik from a room full of armed guards? No that wasn’t him, that was simply his speed. He saved an entire mansion full of people from a potentially fatal explosion? Nothing special, Kurt probably could’ve done the same.
Forget all of the good deeds and saved lives because the bottom line of it all, to him at least, was that all he was good for was cheeky one liners and hopeless kleptomania.
His life took a turn for the worse when he found himself being mind controlled in an alternate universe. And even then, he was playing the part of someone that wasn’t him, the thought humbled him, reconnected him to his roots and reintroduced him to his life long philosophy that he’d never be anything more than a social pariah. Not even an alternate reality could accept him for who he was. There wasn’t a warm welcome and despite not knowing what was going on, the definition of “imposter” or the weirder, “recast”, still shot to kill.
He settled on the notion that he was an inter dimensional waste of space. At least in WestView he could be blissfully ignorant, let the real him be drowned mercilessly in favour of being an integral part of someone’s life- to feel important, even if it wasn’t real.
When WestView fell apart he was completely lost. In every sense of the word. In a new world with no way home and as it turned out, nobody was looking for him. Although he didn’t expect anyone to care, it still stung that nobody did. He always hoped that one day Erik would step up as a father figure for him, this; getting kidnapped and smuggled into a different dimension, seemed like the perfect moment for that epic father son moment, but it wouldn’t surprise Peter if his father has yet to notice his disappearance.
But then, seemingly out of nowhere, he came into contact with a beacon of hope. A guiding star that might possibly lead him to an existence consisting of something other than misery and self loathing.
It offered him a choice; return to being the self proclaimed loser he was known as or start fresh as someone new and mysterious, with first impressions yet to be made and conclusions about him yet to be drawn. Peter had known himself to be rash in the past, when it came to making decisions he had the tendency to act impulsively, never putting too much thought into how his decisions would affect his life in the long term. The choice before him now is no different, he knew exactly what he wanted going forward, however selfish the choice may have been, the second he realised it was an option his heart was set on it.
That previously mentioned beacon of hope arrived to him in the form of a girl, in the form of you. An ex-avenger and close friend of Wanda’s, you were hired by S.W.O.R.D to help them clean up the more ‘sensitive’ fallout that the fall of WestView brought about. Obviously, they were sticking you- the only other avenger with magik- on babysitting and rehabilitation rather than letting you go after your best friend who had gone completely off the rails. Having said that though, you didn’t want anyone else handling him.
You hadn’t watched WandaVision, nor were you even aware that any of it was going on until it had reached a boiling point and you got a call from Monica Rambeau, she’d begged you to come and wait on the edge of town while she went in and act as her eyes on the outside along with Jimmy Woo.
That’s where you stayed until the hex broke down.
As soon as the barrier came down the base you manned was overrun by an armada of terribly confused and distressed citizens, Monica and Wanda were not among them but in their places stumbled in Darcy and the man playing the role of Pietro.
Jimmy appointed himself to Darcy, who in all honesty seemed relatively unscathed by the situation while you made a beeline for the dirty blonde charading as your former, dead teammate.
Peter was, to put it simply, completely enthralled by you as soon as you’d strolled over to him and in the moment he’d put his almost magnetic attraction to you down to the fact that you were the first friendly face he’d seen upon breaking free of Agatha’s possession.
But one thing in particular struck him; you’d asked him his name. You hadn’t immediately assumed him to be some knock off Pietro, as everyone else had. You acknowledged that he had his own personal identity and despite how often he caught himself hating the person he was, he found that when it was torn away from him that he wanted it back. The simple question you posed gave him the opportunity to regain his identity.
“Peter. My name is Peter.” He answered you, almost unsure of himself and you found your interest in the man piqued even further.
He remembered with perfect clarity the way you’d offered him a grin, tilted your hand, extended your hand and said, “Well it’s nice to meet you, Peter. Come on, I’ll be your babysitter for the next while.” There was something about the way you’d laughed after saying the words and the slight, yet unmistakable, glint of mischief in your eyes that had him captivated from the get go.
With you came a whirlwind of new emotions. After only a few weeks of knowing you, Peter noticed he wasn’t as lonely as he had been back home. He didn’t hate himself half as much either, he wasn’t entirely free of self deprovative tendencies and maybe he never would be, but undoubtedly, he likes himself more in this world than he ever had in his last. He thanked you and your determination to make him “a functioning member of society” for that.
It didn’t feel belittling, the way you helped him. You hadn’t dragged him to your favourite mall every weekend just to taunt him about how he couldn’t stop himself from stealing something. Even the very first time, when he’d sped away from you and returned within a second adoring a pair of freshly stolen sunglasses. Your only reaction had been to laugh and casually place your hands on both sides of his face.
“At least remember to take the tag off next time, speedy.” You’d muttered, subtly pulling the tacky stickers off the arms of his shades. No, you weren’t dragging him sight seeing or forcing him to help you go clothes shopping because you thought he was a loser who needed reforming you were doing it because you were a true friend who wanted him to succeed.
The pair of you seemed like two peas in a pod. Which to be fair, you were. Peter Maximoff intrigued you in every sense of the word. He was new, quite literally other worldly, he was kind, he was funny, he was perfectly mischievous and completely wonderful.
What caught your eye the most was the way he held himself, as if he wasn’t entirely comfortable in his own skin. It became apparent to you that he lacked confidence with the phrases he usually tacked onto the ends of his sentences. When you’d invite him to hang out in the beginning his response would always be something along the lines of, “Sure. If you want me to.” But the excitable puppy dog eyes told you that he was dying for someone to want him to tag along some place.
There was a certain understanding between you. You were both more than accustomed with the harrowing feeling of being alone and even though you’d never exactly voiced those thoughts with each other, you couldn’t deny that his was a spirit kindred to your own and he felt it too.
Since the Avengers has disbanded, one of your best friends, Natasha, was dead and your other best friend, Wanda, was gone completely off the rails and the people chasing her wouldn’t let you anywhere near her or even attempt to help pull her out of her darkness. You were being kept as a wildcard in case they needed her taken down. Peter was no stranger to the feeling of being cast aside and so he quickly responded to your frustrations, and in doing so, forced himself out of his comfort zone to be there for you. To his complete shock though, you’d been so appreciative of his efforts.
You never failed to thank him for the little things he did for you, always complimenting his mutation when he’d use it and giving him the recognition he never received at home. The friendship he formed with you was so… two sided, again, something he wasn’t accustomed to before. It didn’t involve him giving everything he had to offer and receiving nothing in return, you matched his energy meticulously and never left him hanging.
In a series of firsts, he didn’t wonder whether or not you genuinely liked him, never feeling the need or want to question it as you’d left him with no reason to doubt.
As he walked around the mall with you now, his mind brought his attention back to the question you’d asked him rather casually a few nights ago. You were both lounging on your couch, watching some ridiculous reality show (a favourite of yours and Peter’s) when you’d turned your head to look at him, a thoughtful look on your face. “Do you think when S.W.O.R.D figures the technology out to crack into other realities, you’ll go back to yours?”
The question had taken him aback for a second, in all honesty, he hadn’t thought about going home, not when he was with you at least and considering he’d become your roommate about three weeks after he got out of WestView, the thought of returning to his old life had barely crossed his mind.
Being an ex-Avenger you were fairly well off, you lived alone in a two bedroom apartment in New York that you’d bought to be closer to Stark tower. Peter had nowhere to go and aside from having a spare room to offer you’d also been sort of lost in the current of the busy city with everyone you once loved in the area either dead, on the run or busy elsewhere.
While the question hadn’t crossed Peter’s mind, it had crossed yours on several occasions. He’d been staying with you for six months and the moment you realised that he was becoming one of the most important people in your life, the thought of him leaving you too weighed on your mind but at the end of the day you wanted him to feel happy. He deserved to feel happy and if going back to his reality brought him that happiness then you’d support him.
“Dunno,” he’d replied, turning to face you, chucking a handful of popcorn at you when you looked incredulous at his response, “To be honest I haven’t really thought about it, m’way too busy babysitting you anyway.” He joked, effortlessly dodging the few pieces of popcorn you attempted to throw at him.
For the last few nights, the question haunted him, but it wasn’t just the question that was bothering him. You were at the forefront of his mind as he replayed the past six months of his life which also happened to be the best six months of his life. WestView put him through hell but coming out the other side of it and meeting you felt like heaven.
He weighed up the pros and cons of returning to his native timeline. The cons: he’d have to leave you behind, he’d go back to being the loser who nobody took seriously, his talents would be downplayed and disregarded and he’d inevitably end up revisiting his lifestyle of solitude. Then there was the pros: he’d get to reunite with his pac man machine. He couldn’t manage to think up anything else.
If he stayed he’d have everything he ever wanted and needed. You’d be there and he knew you always would be, besides he couldn’t leave you knowing that you needed him. If he left who would wake you up when you had night terrors about the catastrophe that your reality was still recovering from? There would be nobody there to comfort you when you woke up from the nightmares, reliving the deaths of Natasha, Tony or Vision and the experience of being snapped out of existence? If he wasn’t there to make you laugh when you were about to cry then who would be? In his heart of hearts he knew you had a huge support system at your disposal, he’d met most of them. Even though he was well aware that Sam visited you as often as he could, that Bucky wrote you letters on a monthly basis and sometimes tagged along with Sam on his visits, that Stephen Strange appeared in your apartment whenever the urge struck him, that the literal god of thunder invited you out for beer whenever he was visiting Earth, that the little spider-kid, also named Peter, swung by your apartment at least once a week to tell you all about school and his good deeds. Despite knowing all of this and knowing all of these people loved you dearly, Peter wanted to be your main source of support, he didn’t want to be someone who came and went, who’d love you then leave you. He wanted to be with you through anything and everything and the feeling that you’d love him for a lifetime had him satisfied with the decision he was about to make.
If leaving his old life meant he could stay here, with you, and experience happiness for more than a fleeting moment then he’d simply; leave it all behind.
“I’ve been thinking about what you asked me the other night.” He spoke through a mouthful of curly fries. You were sitting in the food court of the mall when he decided to let you in on his desire to stay with you indefinitely.
You raised your eyebrow, “You? Putting thought into an answer? Peter, I think I’m starting to become a bad influence on you.” You told him teasingly, taking a long sip of your drink as he rolled his eyes humorously.
“You’re a terrible influence which is exactly why I’ve decided to stay here and put you on the straight and narrow.” The glee you felt at his statement was undeniable, your eyes lit up and your lips curled upwards.
“You’re staying? Really staying?” Your smile was contagious, Peter’s face now painted with a wide grin as he nodded his head.
In a moment of weakness he frantically added, “Y’know only if you want me to though. If you don’t that’s completely cool.” He rushed through the words, feeling more embarrassed when the fond look on your face never faded.
“Of course I want you to stay. You mean a lot to me.” You reassured him, a gentle smile on your lips as you reached across the metal table, intertwining your fingers with his.
Peter squeezed your hand gratefully, holding it in his grasp securely and allowing his smile to return to his face, “I know. You mean a lot to me too.” It was somewhat of an understatement, he was starting to understand that you didn’t just mean a lot, but that you meant everything.
His resolution lifted a huge weight off your shoulders that you wouldn’t be losing yet another best friend. You were glad he’d be with you when everything blew over with Wanda, the two of them definitely had the potential to develop a beautiful sibling relationship and they both deserved that. Of course, Peter would never replace Pietro and having known them both it was obvious just how different the two men were, the only thing they had in common being their powers and last name. Still, he and Wanda would still be able to work on it. He didn’t hate her after WestView and you knew Wanda well enough to know that she was kind hearted and she’d be more than willing to give him a chance. When she eventually comes back to her senses, that it.
As the months went on, life with you and Peter seemed to only get better. You never stopped laughing, your nightmares died down and Peter had taken on a whole new lease of life. Yourself and Peter were the perfect example of meeting the right person at the right time, you balanced each other out and accentuated the other’s good qualities.
Peter could now say with complete confidence that he was happy and what’s more is that he was finally sure that he was making someone happy.
Up until nearly eleven months of living together your relationship had been purely platonic, save for the constant flirting but flirtation pretty much ran in yours and Peter’s blood. Peter wasn’t going to lie to himself, he’d fallen for you the second you’d peeled the security tags off his stolen sunglasses.
You, on the other hand, had been fighting with yourself because yes, you love Peter but you couldn’t have told him when there was the possibility he’d eventually leave and now so much time has passed and you’ve got such a good thing going you didn’t have it in you to ruin it.
However, all of that changed when your original Maximoff best friend came knocking on your door.
Wanda was on the run. She’d caused an amazing amount of chaos but Stephen Strange and S.W.O.R.D were hot on her trail and now she needed a place to lay low with the twins. She figured there was no place more reliable to go than to the always open arms of her best friend, who conveniently had a divinity for earth magik and could muster up a protective barrier without raising suspicions. And that’s exactly where she found herself; outside your door.
You’d been chasing Peter around the apartment when you heard the knock on the door. Peter was on the opposite end of the kitchen to you, using the bar as a shield from you. “You better get that.”
“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you?” You glared as you spoke, it was his own fault really. What sort of idiot jumpscares a witch while she’s mid-meditation? He’d frightened you so badly you accidentally blasted a ball of your signature green energy and ruined your favourite couch throw pillow. When you were ready to pounce on the scared speedster the knocks sounded again, more frantic this time.
With one last glare towards Peter you stomped towards the door. Your anger melted away completely when you saw her. Her hood was up and she looked completely exhausted, two small hooded little boys by her side.
“Wanda…” You breathed out, relief flooding your system at the sight of her alive. She didn’t get a chance to speak before your arms were pulling her against you tightly, hugging her as if your life depended on it. Wanda returned in your embrace, allowing herself to relax for the first time in nearly a year, she sniffled against your shoulder, holding back tears as she realised how much she’d truly missed you.
Billy and Tommy watched in confusion as their mother cried into your shoulder. They didn’t know who you were, all their mother had told them was that they were going somewhere safe.
It was the yell of one of the boys that caused you and Wanda to separate, “Uncle P!” With that you felt a familiar rush of air across your leg but instead of Peter appearing one of the kids was gone.
You shared a perplexed look with Wanda, although your confusion was for different reasons.
“Hey hell raisers!” Peter responded, catching the mini speedster who all but threw himself at him barely regaining his balance before the other child had flung himself into the hug.
“Wanda? Those two… are they...?” You started, at a loss for words Wanda cut you off quietly, her tone as disbelieving as yours.
“My children? Yes. Is that…?” You nodded your head numbly, anticipating the end of her question.
“Your fake brother? Yeah.” Quickly, you realised you and a wanted woman catching up with the door wide open wasn’t ideal and you ushered Wanda inside, shutting the door when she walked in.
“Hey.” Peter greeted her simply, as if he hadn’t been used as a meat puppet in her altered reality. It wasn’t in his nature to hold any grudges.
“Hi?” Wanda replied, her voice still twinged with confusion.
“Peter, will you keep an eye on the kids for a bit? Wanda and I have some catching up to do.” You asked him with a nervous laugh, just thankful that Wanda was too tired to argue with your suggestion.
Peter ruffled the boys’ hair and gave you a grin, “Only if you stop trying to kill me.”
You rolled your eyes as you began to lead Wanda into your bedroom, “You’re on probation, jerk.” You called over your shoulder.
Once you were securely in your bedroom, the door locked and sitting comfortably you fixed Wanda with an amused look, “I’d ask you what’s new but I’m not sure I even wanna know.”
Wanda gave you a sad smile while she shook her head, “No, you probably don’t. I will tell you tomorrow, I don’t want to get into it tonight. I’m so tired.” She admitted, her voice overcome with sadness.
“I’ll pump up the air mattress and you and the boys can sleep in here for however long you need. I’d offer you the spare room but that’s where Peter’s been staying and I don’t think empty food containers are the kind of decor you’d be into.” Wanda nodded, squeezing your hand gratefully.
“So his name is Peter?” She asked, curious about the man Agatha had used to trick her in WestView.
You nodded in confirmation, “Yeah. Peter Maximoff, actually.”
Wanda’s brows came to a furrow at that, “Maximoff? So he’s a relation?”
“Yes and no. Peter is from a different reality but he’s still a Maximoff and he’s got super speed. So, and this is just my theory, while you’re not directly related he could still be your brother- if you wanted him to.” You explained, as gently as you could, not trying to push her too far but to nudge the idea in her direction.
Wanda, to your surprise, didn't seem to hate the suggestion, “What is he like?”
A genuine smile made it onto your face then, as you shot into your description of your roommate, “He’s caring, funny, a little bit of a kleptomaniac but he’s working on it. He’s understanding and moronically selfless, moronic in the sense that he doesn’t even realise he’s being selfless. Huge pain in the ass too.” Wanda had a soft smile on her face by the time you’d finished.
“You like him.” Was all she said and you let out a laugh in disbelief, standing up and opening the door.
“Go grab a shower. I’ll have Peter blow up the air mattress while I go introduce myself to my god sons.”
“I thought you’d at least wait until I actually asked you.” Wanda laughed as you walked out of the room.
Things moved fairly quickly after that. As promised you introduced yourself to Billy and Tommy as their god mother, which they seemed more than thrilled about and you assumed that excitement had to do with whatever description of you Peter had given them. Wanda and the twins were all cleaned and fed and had all but collapsed into bed, foregoing the air mattress and huddling together in your double bed instead.
“Where are you sleeping, mother Teresa?” Peter teased as he noticed your eyes drooping where you stood.
“On the couch probably. Or the air mattress.” You mumbled, cutting yourself off with a yawn.
Peter, unimpressed with your options, scoffed, “No way. Come on, you can bunk with me.”
Much like Wanda, you were too tired to argue and you let Peter pull you to his, surprisingly clean, room by the hand.
You both crawled into the bed, lying close together despite the amount of empty space on the mattress.
“How are you feeling about all of this?” Your soft voice broke through the silence and Peter turned his head to look at you.
“About Wanda?” You nodded your head, watching him intently as he rolled onto his side, facing you more comfortably.
Peter shrugged lightly, “I’m feeling ok. Just glad the twins still see me as their cool uncle.” You let out a small laugh at his response.
“Wanda was asking about you. Seemed interested in getting to know the real you.” You informed him, your heartwarming as you watched a hopeful look fall across his face.
A lull settled over the room once again and Peter caught himself staring at you. His eyes drifted over every visible part of you, reminding him of most of the points on his pros list for staying in your universe; your eyes, your lashes, your nose, your lips, you.
“What’re you thinking about?” The sound of your tired voice pulled him out of his thoughts and ultimately pushed him to bite the bullet and tell you how he’s feeling. With you curled up beside him, in his bed, fighting sleep just to stay in his company for as long as you could; he knew there would be no better time.
“Just about how happy I am to be here with you.” He answered you honestly, the butterflies in both of your stomachs fluttering in sync at his words.
You trailed a hand under the duvet and onto the bedsheets between your bodies, feeling around until you found his hand and gently intertwined your fingers. “I’m happy you decided to stay.”
“What you’ve all gone through in this timeline sucks- don’t get me wrong-“ Peter started sincerely, scooting closer to you and dropping his head back down on the edge of your pillow, leaving the pair of you practically nose to nose as he went on.
“And I hate that Wanda had to go through so much… but I’m really glad that it led me to you.” Peter swore in that moment, right after the confession left his mouth, that he could die right now and be completely content knowing that you now knew how he felt.
His heart stopped, and he thought that maybe he was about to die, when you gave him the softest, sweetest smile he’d ever been on the receiving end of and whispered, “I feel the same.”
Time moved in slow motion as he felt you moving your intertwined hands towards your lips, your lips pressed gently against the back of Peter’s hand before you brought them to rest against your chest.
It was a fact to say that Peter Maximoff had never felt intimacy quite like this before. But, experiencing it now, with you, led him to wonder how he’d ever survived without it. He wasn’t sure whether it was natural to crave more, especially when the affection you were showing him was so gentle, but he didn’t care as he let the impulsive side of him take over.
Not sparing another word, Peter closed the small distance between your lips and his. His free hand cupped your jaw while yours wasted no time in getting tangled in his silver hair.
His lips moved softly and surprisingly slowly over yours and he savoured the feeling of your hand holding his while your other got lost in his hair, your body pressed up against him, the way your jaw moved against his palm as you reciprocated the movement of his lips and the taste of your lips, promising himself he’d never let the memory slip from his mind for as long as he lived.
With complete clarity, Peter could say he had felt true, genuine happiness and he had no doubt in his mind that there was absolutely nothing Charles, Hank, Scott or anyone else from his original timeline could say to make him leave this happiness behind. Because in the process of forgetting his old life, he couldn’t deny that he has undoubtedly found himself in the position of a man who had so much more to live for.
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