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bobbile-blog · 1 month

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Okay so I've finally gotten to Jessicalter's Oprec and now feel qualified to talk about Come Catastrophes or Wakes of Vultures. holy shit. This went straight into my list of top Arknights events. Fantastic event, spoilers will be under the cut so I HIGHLY RECOMMEND reading the event first. It's really good and worth your while.

Anyway, what follows is a scattered mess of thoughts about this event and things that stuck out to me.

First off, plot stuff! I'll probably cover this when I do my next plotline recap post, but what I took away from the end is that Clip Cliff seems to want to make Blacksteel independent, or at least more self-determining than it is now. He seems to be gathering resources and assets like mobile city plates and investing in long-term infrastructure like merc training, so he definitely has a long game he's pushing for. I don't think we know enough go speculate about his goals, but we'll definitely be coming back here again. After all, Tila has an infection monitor in her art, which probably means she's going to be playable at some point in the future.

Next, having looked into this a little on my own, I was interested in some of the previous places Raythean has shown up. Specifically, the ones that stood out were the drones in the Kazimierz Major and arming Silverash's forces in Kjerag, which might be referring to the Tschäggättä. It's not just notable for their apparent level of technology, but also as a faint connecting thread between three separate capitalism plotlines. I don't know if that's going to be meaningful in the future, but I found it interesting enough that I thought I'd bring it up.

Now on to more narrative things. While I love Liskarm and Franka, I do think it was the right choice to give them less screen time in this event. They're both (for the most part) fully-realized characters who understand their own motivations and morals. This is above all else an event about Jessica learning to stand on her own as an adult, so it makes sense that they're more here to support her than they are to play their own roles in the story.

Speaking of said roles, I liked the event's commentary on cops. It pointed out an interesting distinction that I wouldn't really have ever thought of, that between mercenaries and cops. To start: cops exist to protect property, not people. The police exist to protect things and do not have an obligation to err on the side of people over things, and in fact are supposed to do the opposite. This event understands that, and that role os the core of how the bank treats the Blacksteel mercs. CV, however, raises an interesting point that mercenaries are bound by the letter of a contract and not the larger obligation to property cops are, so they can actually raise moral objections and point to their contracts, sort of a Lawful Evil/Lawful Neutral to cops' Neutral Evil. The independence of their position with respect to cops allows for more of an independent morality than you'd get in a cop story and I like that, I think it's a really smart direction to take your writing in.

On a (mostly) separate note, holy shit Arknights is really good at writing cowboy stories. Between this and chapter 9 (and I would argue An Obscure Wanderer), Arknights has repeatedly made it clear that they Do Not Fuck Around with their cowboy stories and I'm surprised I haven't heard more people talking about it. It kinda has everything:

- It takes place in a rural, working-class setting undergoing a larger imminent societal shift that can inform the larger narrative, and deals with a semi-mythologized past that is rapidly disappearing.

- It has a protagonist and an antagonist that serve as foils, both very heavily affected and defined by the (same) violence in their past that they've both had different reactions to. Our protagonist has come to terms with the violence as a tool to maintain order, while our antagonist has used it for personal gain and in some ways lost control of it.

- It's a story about community, and heavily emphasizes local and personal community over larger artificial corporate "community". That's my reading of the recurring motif of the cold btw, warmth represents the close, personal community Davistown used to have and the cold that now pervades it comes from how the bank has systematically dismantled that community.

- And, I'd argue most importantly, it understands the narrative power of a bullet. The Showdown at the end of a cowboy story is powerful because we've spent the entire runtime of our story with these characters, and they are now facing each other down with the intent to end one of their collective two stories. The entire weight of the narrative so far comes to rest on a single moment of tension. It's really hard to gather up the kind of narrative momentum you need to make that hit like it does in CV. For example, it requires a really light hand with actual action in the story, so that it really does feel like it's an even standoff between our protagonist and antagonist. On the other hand, though, you do actually have to establish the relative skill of both parties and actually sell the danger of the moment to the audience. It's really hard to toe the line between tension and actual action in a way that makes for a satisfying resolution, and CV does it extremely well.

Honestly, Arknights just seems really good at getting the vibes of American media right. This is something I noticed in DV and Lonetrail too, and I haven't really been able to put my finger on what it is about them, but the vibes are just really on-point. I want to write more about this at a later point once I actually figure out what it is that I'm feeling, but maybe it's the setting, maybe it's the cast, maybe it's the plot points, maybe it's something in between — it just seems to understand the spirit of period cowboy stories in a way that I can't describe. Good shit.

Finally, I wanna end this with where Jessica is now. The events of CV take place In between the events of Loneterail and Ideal City, so the current "now" of the story is a few months ahead. Jessica left for the frontier along with Woody, Helena, and Miles. They live together in a small new settlement, building the place from the ground up with Woody and Jessica acting as town sherrifs. At the point we're at now, rhe town is fairly well-established and Woody has temporarily left on other business, leaving Jessica the sole sherrif of their new settlement. However, she's risen to her new station, and is growing into a stronger person than she ever was before.

#arknights #come catastrophes or wakes of vultures #jessica the liberated #Arknights thoughts

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dotster001 · 9 months

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Found Chapter Two

Requested by @somany-fandoms-solittle-time

Summary:Lilia x gn!reader. Now that you've been reunited, Lilia is forced to remember how hard it is to care for you. But he's not the only one starting to remember....

A/N: hopefully y'all enjoy this, cause I have a whole series idea for this 😁

3k celebration masterlist

Part One

You were dreaming. You were the maid to a queen, and you were watching what looked like a court case.

"You're nothing more than a tyrant!"

You and your fellow maids all stiffened and murmured amongst yourselves. This stranger from who knows where dared to speak to your queen that way? Didn't she know how dangerous that was? People were beheaded for less in this kingdom!

The queen's face turned beat red as she prepared to issue a sentence, and a loud one at that.

Before you could hear it, you were hit with a dizzy spell, and sharp pain in your stomach.

"Louisa," the maid next to you looked concerned, "do you need to sit down? Did you take your potion today?"

"I'm fine," you groaned, but still felt yourself smile.

"OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

All the maids nodded. This was the expected verdict.

You looked down at your ring with the fuchsia gem, and smiled through the stomach pain. Everything would be alright.

….

Lilia couldn't keep his eyes off you. He was so happy you were here and alive, but damn, he was so nervous you'd vanish.

It wasn't too long before he caught the whole story. That you were from another planet or dimension and just…showed up. He supposed it made sense why he hadn't seen you in so long. You were somewhere outside of his reach. He could only imagine how lonely it had been. If it was anything like what he'd gone through, it was a horribly painful existence. Going lifetime to lifetime without the man you'd bonded your soul too. His heart broke thinking about it.

"Father? Is everything alright?"

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Silver's concerned whisper. He'd been staring at you again.

"Mm. Yes, I'm alright," he took a bite of his lunch to prove it, which did little to assuage his sweet boy, but he still nodded and looked at his own lunch.

"That's Diasomnia," he heard from Trey Clover, who had been telling you all about the other dorms.

He rattled off a couple more insignificant facts about the thorn fairy, some of them incorrect, much to Lilia's amusement.

Then he saw the red headed freshman playfully bump shoulders with you.

"I gotta take care of something," he said to his lunch table, before poofing over to yours.

"Were you talking about me?" He giggled as you shrieked at his upside down form that had materialized between the two of you.

You took a moment to catch your bearings.

"What the actual fuck," you breathed.

"I heard you talking about Diasomnia, and me, and my young Lord so I thought I'd join the fun."

"You heard all that?" The red headed freshman asked incredulously.

Lilia turned to him, feeling the joy drain from his eyes, that is, until the freshman shivered. Then Lilia had some sick glee return to him

The conversation continued casually, you pretty silent for most of it, Eventually, he figured continuing the conversation with you would do nothing. At least with an audience. He had a whole year, probably longer, considering the headmage was useless. He had time to reconnect with you.

After popping back to his own table, grinning like a lovesick fool, he was met with Silver and Sebek's concerned gazes.

"What? It's fun to prank the freshman, fu fu fu!" He laughed. They both shared a glance before shrugging and continuing dinner in peace.

….

"Did you hear? Housewarden Rosehearts overblotted."

The murmurs were all over the school, and Lilia wanted to kick himself. Of course you'd get into trouble. You always did. Even in a world where the mortality rate was so low, you somehow were so hard to keep alive!

"Sevens, Y/N, why is it so hard to hold onto you?" He whispered to himself, as he watched you wander the school with your two freshmen friends.

He didn't have time to think too hard about it before,

"Lilia!"

"Fa-Lilia! Lord Malleus is-"

"SILVER HAS ALLOWED OUR LORD TO GO MISSING AGAIN!"

He sighed inwardly, before throwing a final glance your way. If you ever did remember your past lives, he would definitely ask if this is what you wanted when you both talked about the family you were going to start. Not that he'd trade it for anything, but it felt unfair that you were getting out of all the hard work.

….

"Their next target is Malleus Draconia."

Malleus had a tendency to never actually be informed about housewarden things, but the one time someone actually came looking for him, Lilia selfishly decided to take the meeting himself.

Only to be told that his boy was likely to be the target of the Savannaclaw Housewarden at tomorrow's event.

"That's a rather large accusation, prefect."

Of course he believed you. But he wanted to hear your voice again. Keep you talking to him. Keep your eyes on him. He simultaneously felt like dirt, but also like the happiest man to ever exist.

"But it's true!" You cried. "He's been taking people down with his signature spell for weeks now."

Lilia leaned back, pretending to think. Not that the thorn fairy's general had to actually think twice about that. He just…needed to stare at you for a moment.

"I have an idea," he muttered. "That is, if you're willing to listen."

You nodded, and he did his best to hold back a grin.

….

"Pearce." His voice whispered in the darkness.

After months of taking the night shift to guard him, you'd learned to pick up his emotions from his voice, and the shimmer of his glowing pink eyes. This was a new one though. If you had to guess, it was a mix between desperation and fear.

"Evening," you said, trying not to let this deter you.

"Pearce."

"What's wrong?" You said, giving into morbid curiosity.

"Run away with me."

You stiffened.

"Li-"

You heard shifting, and his hands were cupping your face, his face slightly more illuminated, but features still obscured.

"How long have you been able to-"

"These ropes could never hold me. Pearce, run away with me. The queen's army is coming to the castle. If I'm there to let them in, great. If I'm not, they'll just double their forces. They're all going to die either way. But at least we could-"

You cupped his cheeks and softly kissed him. He stiffened before returning the kiss. Softly. Tenderly.

You separated and pressed your forehead to his, closing your eyes so that you couldn't see the heartbreak in his.

"I can't."

"Don't say that," you heard him choke on his words, as he clutched your face harder.

"You have a duty to your people, I have one to mine. I swore to protect my king. And if I have to die to fulfill my oath-"

"Stop."

"-then I'll die happy."

"Y/N! Wake up!"

You groaned as Grim slapped your face with his soft paws.

"What? What time is it?"

"We gotta help those Diasomnia guys, remember?"

"Right," you sat up and rubbed your eyes blearily.

On top of the already weird dreams about lions, now you were having some weird fantasy tragedy dream. Although, that story sounded interesting. If you remembered the dream later, you'd have to write it down and write a book or something.

"Why would they want to go over the plan so early in the day?" You groaned again

….

"Malleus Draconia is twice the king you will ever be!"

"Lilia, shut up," he heard you whisper. Of course it would be your voice snapping him back to reality. He'd lived a long time, but he'd only ever witnessed one overblot. If the ink rising in the air was anything to go by, Kingscholar was about to be the second one he witnessed.

Why did he just say that? Was it because of his love for his adopted son? His anger at the injustices done on the students? The need to show off so you could see how cool he was?

"Vanrouge!" Housewarden Rosehearts snapped. "Go get the headmage."

He watched Riddle pull his pen. He should really stay. This was partially his fault. And it was so damn hard to keep you alive…

"Lilia, please, we need backup," you pleaded. Sevens, those eyes. He'd kill for those eyes.

He nodded and poofed away, praying he was back fast enough to ensure you stayed alive.

….

He was always terrified when he saw you sleeping, no matter what life time it was. He'd seen you stop breathing far too many times, so it was always the first thing he looked for; the tell tale slow filling of your lungs.

Of course it hadn't been the overblot that had put you here. It would be something as simple as a disc to the head.

"Enjoying the view?" You croaked as you slowly woke up, causing him to snicker.

"I wanted to apologize, but you were preoccupied."

"Is preoccupied the medical term for a concussion?" You winced.

He laughed, a boisterous laugh that he hadn't released for several generations.

When he'd calmed himself momentarily, you sat up a bit, and gave him a soft smile.

"You don't need to apologize. I get it, you were upset that he was insulting your friend."

Friend? He could burst into a fit of laughter all over again. He supposed, you did believe he was a normal college student, so friend would be the accurate word for him and Malleus. Normally.

"Uh, yeah," he said, fighting back another laugh. "Still, I swear I'm far more intelligent than that normally."

He was really trying so hard to dig himself out of this hole.

"It's college. You're allowed to be a dumbass from time to time."

He bit his lip as he nodded. Was it truly unethical to just tell you everything? To just tell you you were supposed to be with him because you always used to be? To tell you that he was far older than anyone you'd ever met? That you were far older?

It would be unethical. You had to make your own choices, unimpaired by him. He just had to have faith that you'd choose him. He had no reason to believe otherwise! You'd always chosen him before.

Why should it be different this time around?

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge x reader #lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge

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euphorix-moon · 7 months

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Secrets in the Shadows

Vampire!Eliie x Fem!Reader x Vampire!Abby

Wc:1.5k

Synopsis: After years of your unrequited love for Abby, something or someone gets your attention

A/n: First halloween themed fic. Hope you guys enjoy. ALSO I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GETTING ME TO 100 FOLLOWERS.Love you guys, you guys always keep me pushing to write better fics. <3 (had to reupload due to minor things)

It started two years ago.

It started with Abby , because when has any new part of your life not started with something that the blue eyed girl did? Your life has revolved around Abby since that first time that you guys met in middle school. You guys have been together ever since, stuck close to each other and became best friends. Of course on some level you knew that anything that happened in Abby's life would probably somehow influence your, not that you minded all that much to begin with. But that’s before what happened two years ago.

Two years ago, in the summer before you two were set to start college, Abby kissed you.

She said she just wanted to know what it was like, she just wanted to make sure she didn’t make a fool out of herself the first time she kissed an actual boy and,you agreed to let her try like the idiot you are.

It was supposed to be simple. Just one kiss to get past the nerves and move passed any initial awkwardness they might encounter once they did it for real, because doing it with each other didn’t count. You guys were both girls and they were friends, so of course it shouldn’t be a big deal just letting the blue eyed teen kiss you once.

Unfortunately it was a big deal.

A big enough deal to force you to start asking yourself some questions; questions you'd never thought you'd ever even dream of asking yourself .You guys did it once and then they never spoke of it again. You wanted to talk about it, but you didn’t want to make things weird and Abby…Abby didn’t seem any different from how she was before the kiss and you just knew that bringing it up would definitely just make things weird. So you never spoke about it again, but that doesn’t mean you ever stopped thinking about it. This lead to you pining after your best friend for the better half of your first year in college and most of the second.

There was a period of time in your second year of college when you and Abby weren't on good terms. It had started when Abby had introduced you to her boyfriend Owen. Owen was an okay guy, you didn't really have anything against him but that didn't make you feel any less threatened by him. The episode with Owen was mostly a product of you being scared shitless at the prospect of losing your best friend, but after many failed attempts of breaking them up you realized how happy Owen made Abby so you decided to let the couple together...even if it meant possibly losing any chances you could ever have with Abby.

Not that you had much of a chance anyway.

It wasn’t till a little while later, about two months before the summer was set to start that you had found something that pulled your attention away from pining over Abby and held it.

There were news stories everywhere all over T.V, the internet and the radio for years, the stories about vampires in the neighborhood.

Apparently vicious, heartless monsters with inhumane strength that fed off of the blood of human beings and were able to blend in with society so seamlessly, that you wouldn’t know that you even met a vampire until they sunk they’re teeth into your flesh and drained you of all your blood . Or at least that’s what you heard anyways.

Since you were young you had always been curious in the existence of vampires but it was not something you could really talk about with the adults in your life. Every time you would bring it up to someone they would completely shut it down and switch the topic. You didn't understand why it was such a taboo topic to talk about, and the more people would shut down the topic the more you wanted to find out more about them. Later on though Abby moved into town so you decided to forget about vampires in favor of hearing more stories about your new friend.

You'd never seen a vampire before, never even heard about a vampire murder anywhere near where you lived so it was easy to ignore and brush off as one of those things that “could never happen to anyone we know” and moved on with your life.

But then Abby moved on with Owen and you needed a distraction once again.

You went back into researching about vampires and learning all these facts about them. You went into the history of vampires learning about their first sightings and their diets learning that they not only feast on humans but also other animals as well. You were down the rabbit hole once again.

You came to see vampires in a different light. To you they weren't necessarily bad, it was just in their nature. Everybody needs to do what they have to in order to survive. Although you found yourself trying to understand vampires you still wouldn't know what to do if you ever came face to face with one

****

One night, when you didn’t have anything important to do you took a late run to a convince store. You weren't really hungry per se you just were craving some of your favorite snacks and you also wanted to stretched your legs after being home all day.

Unsurprisingly the store was empty considering the time of night. You had gotten everything you needed before exiting the store as swiftly as you entered. As you left the store you heard the distressed sounds of a kitten screaming coming from behind the store. You were a sucker for cute animals and that included cats, you quickly went around trying to find and help the kitten that was in need.

When you came across the corner, you were greeted to a sight you never thought you'd see. Looking you saw a woman crouched over in feasting on the kitten you had just heard moments earlier. You were so shaken you had dropped everything in your hands alerting the woman who immediately shot up her head to look at you. The overhead light helped you identify the woman as none other than Ellie Williams

Ellie was a girl that attended the same college as you and Abby. You and Ellie had quite a few classes together but you never really spoke to her that much. Most of what you knew about Ellie came from Abby, her supposed "rival". Since the first year of college Ellie and Abby have been at each other's neck for reasons unbeknownst to you. You had thought Abby was simply being dramatic and have tried to talk to Ellie multiple times but Abby for some reason is always there to make sure you don't go anywhere near her.

With an inhumane amount of speed Ellie appeared right in front of you with her face and clothes all still covered in blood. She had gripped your arm tightly before telling you

"Not a single soul will know about this unless you want to be next".

In that moment your fight or flight response had kicked in, you had stared at her wide eyed before running with all the adrenaline your body could provide you. When you got home you made sure to lock all the doors in your house before hiding under your covers for the rest of the night and half of the next day. You had spent all day wondering what that scene with Ellie was the night before.

Eventually you did have to get out of bed because you needed to use the bathroom. You had finished using the bathroom and entered your room again.You were about to go and hide under your covers again until you realized Ellie was standing in the corner of your room. You were about to scream but Ellie rushed over to you again covering your mouth with her hand. "If you scream at all I'll make sure you're dead before anybody opens this door, do you understand". You look her in the eyes before slowly nodding.

"What the hell are you and what the hell do you want from me? I told you i won't tell nobody what i saw yesterday" You stated trying your best to stay calm. You could see the gears shifting in Ellie's head before she finally gave you a response.

"I'm a vampire" Ellie stated bluntly. You felt your throat go dry and felt yourself loosing balance but you still tried to keep your composure."I only came here to make sure you haven't blabbed to anybody about what you saw last night".

"I promise I haven't told anybody anything, I haven't even left my room till now" You pleaded your case.“I can’t guarantee that.How can i be sure that you didn't tell Abby” The brunette said slowly, “Humans are weak, with clear physical tells you don’t know how to hide anything. Especially you."

"I've already told you too much I can't let you go now" Ellie continued cynically.

"Wait there has to be someway i can prove that i won't tell anybody" You continued to plead

"Nope, none that i can think of right now...The only way i can assure that you won't tell anybody is if your mine"

"What?" You were slightly confused where Ellie was going with this

"I want you to be mine"

A/n: This chapter was mostly setup but I hope the first installment interested you guys ! As always feedback is appreciated:)

#ellie tlou #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie x you #tlou #tlou2 #ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #fanfic #abby tlou #abby x y/n #abby x reader #abby anderson

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taters169 · 4 months

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The Tin

Part 8 (prev)

Vince did his very best not to wake the little man as he crept into the kitchen the next morning. He switched on the kettle and got out his mug as quietly as he could.

He was just creeping back out of the kitchen with his coffee as the tiny lump in the blanket began to stir.

"Good morning" said Vince keeping his voice soft.

Michael sat up suddenly throwing the blanket off himself and scrabling to stand up

"Hey, it's ok it's just me remember?"

Michael locked eyes with the giant as his memories of the night before came flooding back to him, being so sure he was going to die some gruesome death only to be taken home by this seemingly kind giant instead. Michael sank back down onto the blanket and took some deep breaths to get his racing heart back under control.

"Sorry little dude, I didn't mean to scare you"

Vince sat down at the table with his drink.

"Do you want some coffee? Or tea?" Asked Vince

"Erm, could I have some water please sir?" Asked Michael quietly

"Of course you can my guy but please, you don't need to call me sir or anything" Vince refilled the bottle cap he'd used last night and put it down close to Michael. "I guess whoever tied you up like that made you call him that?"

Michael nodded not looking at the giant

"Well whoever that evil twat was I swear he's not getting near you again."

Tears threatened to fall again as Michael looked up at Vince trying to gauge if he was sincere

"I'm very sorry that happened to you. Was he the one who shrank you? We can go to the police today if you want"

"Shrank?" Asked Michael suddenly confused

"Yeah like made you so small?"

"Oh, no, I've always been small... erm I'm not a human" Michael began to worry that the giant had only been so kind because he thought he was dealing with another human.

"Wow! Well I'm not sure what would have been a bigger shock to be honest, the thought that someone can shrink other people or the fact that tiny people just exist somehow. So what are you then? Some kind of wingless fairy? A pixie?"

"I'm a borrower" said Michael

"A what?"

"A Borrower" said Michael again "we borrow stuff from humans to survive, we're meant to stay hidden"

"But that guy found you?" Asked Vince

Michael looked down and nodded.

"I don't get why someone would do that? Leave you stuck in a tin like that, that's awful"

"Hes done a lot worse than that over the years, at least when he stuck me in the time out box I wasn't being hurt. But it was still scary being trapped. This time he said he was done with me though, he said he was going to "get rid of his broken toy" because I'd said no to him again" Michael sniffed as tears started to roll down his face remembering how scared he'd been. "I didn't think I'd ever get out again"

Vince could feel himself welling up at the sight of this poor little guy being so scared and hurt. Years he'd said, captured and tortured by a giant for years. He blinked hard pushing the tears back down.

"I'm so sorry you went through that. I can understand why you'd be so scared of me but I swear I'd never hurt you. Like I said last night if there's somewhere you want me to take you I will, you deserve to feel safe"

"I don't have anywhere to go" said Michael sadly "it's been such a long time since I've even seen another borrower"

"Well you're welcome to stay here if you like, you can 'borrow' whatever you want. Or you could be like my roommate if you want? It would be nice to have some company" said Vince

"Really?" Asked Michael not really daring to believe him "And you wouldn't keep me locked up?"

"Of course not! You can come and go as you please! We can get you set up with your own place here somewhere if you like. It'll be nice having someone to cook for" Vince said with a smile

"Ok then, I think I'd like that" said Michael. He was still wary of the giant man but he'd been kind to him so far. Maybe things would work out alright after all.

Check out the masterlist for post story drabbles

#gt #g/t #the tin #part 8

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thebisexualdogdad · 10 months

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Thea Queen x Red Hood male reader headcannons?

Thea Queen x Male!reader

● after the whole dying and coming back to life thing you decided to leave Gotham and start fresh somewhere new

● you heard about the arrow and his team and thought you'd head out west to check out what they were all about

● you met Thea when jumping in to assist them in a fight and immediately started flirting with her

● "Who the hell are you?"

● "I'm whoever you want me to be sweetheart and can I just say red looks even better on you than it does on me"

● "I hate him already"

● except after only two missions with the team you were already sleeping together

● you weren't allowed to tell anyone that you were hooking up

● felicity was the only one who figured out what was happening

● Felicity "I wonder when they are going to tell us they are hooking up"

● Diggle "what are you talking about? They aren't hooking up they hate each other"

● "they are definitely hooking up, I think arguing is a kink for them"

● the day finally comes when you're arguing about you being too reckless

● "why do you even care so much Thea?!"

● "Because I love you, you asshole!"

● this leads to really intense 'I love you' sex and making your relationship official

● and telling the rest of the team

● Diggle "oh damn, Felicity was right"

● Felicity proudly "told you"

● you two are the ultimate red superhero power couple

● when she finds out about your history with the Lazarus pit

● "is there anyone this thing hasn't resurrected??"

● Oliver hates seeing her on your motorcycle

● "So I can be a vigilante but I can't ride on my boyfriends motorcycle?"

● "I'd prefer if you didn't do either but I can't seem to change your mind about the first one so the least you can do is give me a little peace of mind with the second"

● she doesn't

● you love not having to pay for drinks at the Verdant

● Thea "you know you're gonna run my bar dry if you keep drinking everything from the top shelf"

● "Hey we don't have any clubs this clean in Gotham and im taking advantage of it, back home you're lucky if the only thing a bar is infested with is cockroaches"

● sparring together

● she surprised you with how good at hand to hand combat she is

● "damn Thea, now I know why they call you speedy, you dodged all of my punches"

● and another time she knocked you down and landed on top of you

● "batman would be so disappointed to see me in this position"

● "really because I thought you liked me being on top" she says with a smirk

● Thea felt so bad when she accidently sent an arrow into your shoulder during a mission

● "Oh my god Y/N I'm so sorry I thought you were one of the bad guys"

● "Thea it's okay, I died remember, an arrow isn't the worst pain I've ever experienced"

● her gently tracing your scars when you're lying in bed together

● Dick and Tim came to visit you one weekend when they found out a new drug on the streets of Gotham and Bludhaven were being sourced from Star City

● and to meet Thea because they never expected you to have a serious relationship

● part of them thought you were lying and Thea didn't actually exist

● Dick "so you must be Thea, Y/N has told us so much about you, I hope you're keeping him in line"

● Thea "oh trust me, Y/N loves when I order him around"

● Tim "didn't need to know that, so about this drug-"

● when the mission is over you take your brothers to the club before they go back home

● they have a great time but halfway through the night you've disappeared to hook up with Thea in her office

● Dick to Oliver "Hey have you seen Y/N, he left to get me another drink an hour ago"

● Oliver "yeah when Y/N and Thea both disappear you usually don't want to know what they are doing"

● Thea buying you a brand new knife when yours breaks

● this one also has 'red hood' engraved on it

● "babe, this might be the nicest thing anyone has ever given me"

● "I should find that endearing but I know by tonight you will have used it to stab someone with"

● "you're not wrong"

#arrow imagine #thea queen imagine #thea queen x reader #x male reader #headcanons

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aita-blorbos · 3 months

Note

AITA for having a lot of resentment for my father, and trying to move on from him after his death?

I should at least introduce myself and provide some background first. I (24, F) am best known for joining a company that my father (50s, M) founded that invaded planets. This stopped happening ever since a peculiar young being that we'll call K (10, M) destroyed our spaceship. I've managed to make amends with K, though, some time after I turned around and implored him to stop the machine that went haywire at the end. Nowadays, I am friends with K as he's long forgiven me for the invasion, and thus I think that situation has been resolved.

Now for the actual matter at hand here. My father is dead. You'd think that I would be mourning him after he died, and I actually have! As a matter fact, I have in fact had grief over it! It was me that was responsible for his death... I killed him by pure accident, and for a while I've felt absolutely horrible about it. I still regret it even now!

.... But while I've indeed mourned him, I also just cannot help but legitimately resent him at the same time, and that's affected my grief over time. Let me explain why I have resentment for him:

He treated me like shit. You would not believe what he was like at times. I was stuck in a horrible place that was dimensions apart from my father for a long time, and when I finally returned to him, he forgot about my existence entirely. I tried to give him a hug upon return, but he brutally rejected it and told me that I was a freak for trying to hug him because he considered me to be a stranger.

I tried this multiple more times, and the outcome never changed.

I also tried so many other things. He did at least offer me to become his secretary, so I took the offer, but it didn't fix things at all. I tried singing a particular song for him that I thought would've gotten him to remember me, but it failed. I'd also have deliberately done other things like making gifts for him, but that never made him change.

I gave him everything, and he gave me nothing back.

I didn't even always get along with him. He was often a pretty harsh, mean-spirited and demanding 'boss'... it's embarrassing to think that this was my relationship with my dad. I was supposed to be his daughter, not his employee that he wasn't even very nice to!

He essentially spat in my face every time I tried to do something to try to get him to remember me being his daughter. He even called me rude things like 'weirdo', 'degenerate', and the aforementioned 'freak' that I said earlier. And he always had an aggressive tone every time he rejected all the hugs I tried to give him. As if I wronged him for it.

... I'll never forget all of that! Especially the first time it happened when I came back from that dimension. This has all just been so, so stressful that I honestly just can't forgive it. It hurt too much!

What kind of dad coldly refuses hugs from his own daughter?

He wasn't my dad anymore, really. More like a stranger that managed to steal my dad's body. He was a mockery... an insult.

I felt absolute disgust at what he became and how he treated me.

Now, I feel like his memories got erased. I've felt like the machine had something to do with it... it's partially why I tried stealing it from him in the first place, but I don't understand how it got to that point before I came back to him? Why was he using it after I disappeared?

Did he purposefully let the machine eat away his memories? Did he decide to just stop caring about me after the portal accident? Or... I wonder if there's a possibility that he deliberately got rid of me from the start. Like he was pretending to love me at the start and then made his move at some point.

... I don't know. I have no idea what happened to him while I was gone and I certainly hope it wasn't the last possibility I mentioned. I can hardly even remember what he was like when I was little. It was so long ago. I question if he ever loved me in the first place, and if it was all just a fluke if he 'did'. I didn't want to believe that... the reason I've even mourned him to begin with is because I wanted to believe that he loved me before, but I can't say that I'm convinced he ever did.

And if he never loved me, then I think that'd mean that I was stupid for mourning him. I don't even know if I'm supposed to miss him since I don't even know if he ever loved me at all to begin with.

I wish I could better remember the times before the portal stole me away from him. But I just can't.

It also just stresses me out to constantly think about it. I've been trying to heal and move on as time has been going on... at least things are easier in life now since I'm not in a twisted dimension anymore, nor am I hamstrung in harsh and demanding conditions as a result of being my dad's secretary.

I've revived his company and resorted to different practices. Not invading planets anymore, at least.

I also have friends now. The friends I'll give a shout out to are the aforementioned K that I talked about earlier, as well as a spidery guy (25, M) and some blue-hooded alien guy (28, M) that owns a big blue ship that's actually a really impressive piece of technology.

These friends actually care about me. Way more than my dad ever did, I think.

The spidery guy also lost someone, and at first he didn't understand why I wasn't as openly grieving my loss as he was until I explained it all to him. Thankfully, he came to understand, and was generous and caring enough to act as support for me nonetheless.

I actually don't make my daddy issues known to a lot of people. I have a feeling a lot of them would find a way to judge me or weaponize it against me, or they'd just paint me as some heartless monster for having resentment for my dad and I'd have to sit them down and explain it all for them to get it. But I'm simply not interested in letting that situation happen. And besides, I don't need to have my very personal business be known to people that aren't my closest friends.

... Although that's also part of the reason why I might be TA. Like I should just blindly grieve my dad to the fullest without any complications. I wish it were that easy, but what happened between me and him is much too complicated for there to not be resentment. I can't shake off the feeling of resentment after how he treated me ever since I came back to him. Doesn't help I barely remember him before the horrendous accident.

AITA, or am I justified to handle my dad's death the way I have?

(Sorry that this was long, by the way)

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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bemusedlybespectacled · 1 year

Note

to head things off: this is NOT an accusation of lying! i was curious how you found out that the OP of that thread was andy thanfiction bc i'd have assumed after all his shit came to light that he'd be off the internet by now. or at least certainly not existing so publicly. i would be so curious to follow your trail on finding out that this twitter rando was actually a cult-starting nutcase bc it sounds like a RIDE

I mean, YOU'D THINK. But keep in mind that Andy has been doing this since the 90s and has had several cons blow up in his face - if getting caught was at all a deterrent for him, he'd have stopped long before this.

I will say, it's not that interesting. Several years ago, I subscribed to a Dreamwidth forum that's basically just Andy-watching, since he'd just popped up again at the time and there was a very public fallout between him and the friends he'd lied to, not only about the extent of his bullshit but also basic information like how old he was. This was in like 2018. I'd known about him before that (I'd read his fanfiction and thought it was okay) but this was the first time I followed something contemporaneously.

But it was almost completely dormant until like a couple of weeks ago, when an anon there alerted everyone to his new Twitter handle. I did triple check both when that initial alert went out and before I posted anything, because I wanted to be certain I wasn't accusing an innocent person of being a cult leader.

But I needn't have worried, since I just checked again when I got this anon, and he's very publicly complaining about it.

#andrew blake #andy blake #thanfiction

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utilitycaster · 1 year

Note

Now that the two-shots complete I was wondering if you'd be willing to share your opinions on Molly, Lucien and Kingsley and their differences. Maybe favorite to least favorite. I like your takes on Molly and wondered how the book and two shot add or even take away from who Molly and the other are. Also has the second part changed your thoughts on how Kingsley's rogue and bloodhunter levels are split?

Hey anon! This is a great and complicated question. (also, as a warning, I'm no longer tagging Nine Eyes of Lucien spoilers as it's been a month, but this does have some).

I adore the conversation that Beau, Yasha, and Kingsley had in this episode and need to rewatch it when it is not midnight and I am not very full of cold medication, and I think Beau's feelings are remarkably close to many of my own in terms about how I feel about them as people, though not obviously in the meta sense.

I think Lucien is the fucking worst as a person, obviously, but as a viewer/reader, he's very enjoyable as a love-to-hate-them villain. I've said this elsewhere, but especially in the book, where we get to see his POV, it really does feel like he doesn't really think other people continue to exist when he's not looking at them (see: Aldreda; his single noble act is giving her the opportunity for a good life, but he then proceeds to utterly ruin that relationship by having no respect for the fact that she took the opportunity and built that life without him when he didn't keep in touch). This is I think reinforced by the fact that, post-Somnovem pact, the tombtakers do kind of function that way and all return to him voluntarily after two years, even those of them who found other employment. All of the purple tieflings have a certain degree of arrogance - they are Taliesin Jaffe characters - but Lucien is the only one where it fully crosses into narcissism.

I loved Beau and Yasha's takes on Molly, because Beau always found him irritating in many of the same ways I did (self-righteousness; patting himself on the back for cheap and not terribly meaningful gestures; manipulative tendencies) but did have genuine affection for him as well. Yasha's was actually even more touching and interesting to me, because to Yasha, Molly represented a reprieve from the absolute darkest time in her life, and was her first real platonic friend...but she also acknowledged that he struggled with a certain degree of darkness. (For that matter, as an aside, I loved the statement that Molly teetered and Lucien went on a full sprint in the context of the book and in the context of the scene with Zehir in the temple. Lucien did indeed sprint, and one could argue that his sprint was at also partially motivated by love, but then we can compare it to Fjord, whose deals with darker powers come with an unshakable sense of responsibility for his actions that Lucien never had.)

It's interesting then, because I absolutely think that Molly is by far a better person than Lucien, and the book makes it even clearer that a bit of that personality was there within Lucien, not quite reabsorbed, and that Molly genuinely cared for the Mighty Nein. But at the same time, because Lucien is positioned as a villain and Molly as a hero by the nature of the story, I like Lucien's personality for his role more than I liked Molly's, if that makes sense. That said, I also really do believe that I'd have probably come around on Molly eventually, and he just happened to die when he was still kind of annoying to me and so that opportunity passed.

So, it's unsurprising that by far my favorite on all accounts is Kingsley. I think one of the biggest factors is that he is actively considering who he is and why. Lucien displays a remarkable lack of reflection; like, it's clear his parents are horrible and abusive, but also there's some shit going on when you kill them in cold blood before you turn 13 that might be worth unpacking. Molly was utterly lacking in curiosity about his past, another thing that I never particularly cared for about him. Kingsley perhaps had no option, given the context in which he was born, but the fact that he isn't merely passively absorbing information but seeking it out for himself and getting other perspectives is a huge step forward from either of his predecessors. It's interesting that Beau points out, correctly, that both Molly and Lucien were very passionate and very susceptible to influence; Kingsley is trying to be influenced by a variety of good people. There is just a degree of ownership, agency, and self-awareness we didn't see before and which we do see with Kingsley.

With regards to Kingsley's build: it is now confirmed that he's at least level 13 in blood hunter, since his brand of castigation damage is 6 (2 x his +3 in Wisdom). I also think that unless he has several items we didn't see, his stat improvements indicate he probably took 4 levels in rogue, granting him 3 ASIs (compared to Molly at level 5, he has +1 each to his INT and CHA scores; +2 to CON; and +2 to Dex). It's not a hard confirm, but he showed no L14 blood hunter abilities and it's a reasonable choice to make.

#answered #Anonymous #cr tag #critical role spoilers

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chastitycuck801 · 23 days

Text

Same Woman, More Fap Fodder (aka Chastity Torture Material)!

3 wonderful photos - all of the same chick I was gushing about in the prior post.

^ This one here gives me a huge 'cuck boner' (aka an erection attempt while locked in the same pink, sparkly chastity cage in my profile pic). I get SO HORNY imagining her telling me I'm in trouble for talking back to her after she made the final decision that I won't be cumming at all this month. In this particularly-pathetic SIMP CUCK fantasy of mine, she gazes on my locked up dick with amusement and tells me such disrespectful behavior might have flied in our 'old life', but that's no longer the case now that we've graduated to a full-fledged Female-Led Relationship. After disciplining me verbally (and physically via her strictness with my chastity), she locks eyes with me, looking for any sign of defiance or combative reaction from me after learning I won't be getting a boner for AT LEAST another 4 weeks. Once she sees I am holding back my emotional struggle, a subtle grin shows on her face showing 'she's won' (again) and advises me: "I think it'd be a really good idea for you to get back to doing the laundry before you say something stupid you'll regret. Don't forget - separate the colors, wash my delicates separate, and then fold and put every piece of laundry away where it belongs. Got it? Good".

^ This one is just a lovely photo in general. If you've been a moderately-faithful follower of mine for any amount of time, you'd know that this pose/perspective of a woman (wearing a sexy thong with her PERFECT ass perked right up, almost as if to mock SIMPs like me who WISH their penis could 'perk right up') is my absolute favorite view of a woman. Admiring the exquisite female form from this vantage point is nothing short of other-worldly. Heavenly, even. Sure, the chastity really irritates me (selfishly) since I want nothing more than to be able to get nice and hard, feel the blood flow to my boner in preparation for 'action', then bring myself to a (selfish) orgasm and enjoy the elusive sensation of sexual gratification through masturbation. It's a wonderful fantasy to have, but thanks to the invaluable invention of the chastity device, I will certainly not be able to indulge my selfish desire to have an unauthorized orgasm while viewing such a superior being.

^ This one, although still sexy as fuck, yet not as 'chastity-boner-inducing' as the other two, I had to include out of necessity. Once I found the name of this woman who has invaded my fantasies and psyche over the last year or two (her name is Theodora Moutinho @teddybearosito), I had to make sure this image of her in my FAVORITE pose was documented. You know, in the event that I find myself with a free dick again some day and am able to enjoy the absolute privilege of (selfishly) vigorously stroking my little penis to such a divine female and a true Goddess. It's nice to think about having that ability again; one that I've taken advantage of my entire life on a whim and in extreme excess, before chastity and FLR crept it's way into my entire being and my everyday existence. In the end, I am much better off locked in chastity, freed from the burdens of boners, orgasms, masturbation, pussy, and sex that have long clouded my judgement, impaired my submission to women, and distracted me from fulfilling my TRUE destiny of living my life as a SIMP cuck at the feet/mercy of women. Not having orgasms even somewhat regularly has reconditioned me to CRAVE what I once freely had; so much so that, after enough time in chastity, I can be made to do ANYTHING a girl tells me to do, JUST at the chance of getting to have another one. How selfish is that? Only doing what girls tell me to do JUST so I can SELFISHLY stroke my little penis and cum? Why am I such a piece of shit that I'd expect some form of 'reciprocation' for my obedience? Well, I'm just not wired that way, I guess. I can't keep my hands off it unless it's locked up tight, ESPECIALLY if I'm in a FLR where I am expected to serve domestically, wash dishes, clean bathrooms, do her laundry, etc. I can't be trusted to NOT masturbate if I'm folding her laundry. Literally impossible for me. I can't serve her at my best if I am able to freely provide myself with sexual satisfaction. Alas, the sacrificing of my own (selfish) masturbatory desires through chastity is a small price to pay to be a SIMP in the presence of a girl like her and to obey the FLR rules/guidelines/directives she has implemented for me - no matter how plentiful, restrictive, or 'emasculating' they may be.

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dogydayz · 1 year

Text

In a strange realm between the written and the writer's, a conversation continues from the mist....

"You won't remember any of this, when we're finished here. So please, ask me whatever it is you'd like to know. For this moment alone, you have awareness of what exists outside your realm, of the words written, this itself is all a part of it, you know."

"I... Still dunno what half those words mean, but... Sure, I'll bite."

"...So... About... Everything ya told me already, that I'll apparently not even remember after... Whatever this is.... Why do I feel... Like my existence here... Er, there, is... That my 'writing' I guess... Is...." "That I've existed before. Before the here 'n now."

"Oh... I think... I know what you mean."

"Your existence is. A tad different to that of your old friends, or your old world."

"I... Kinda got the feelin's of such... But.... Why? What.... Was I, before? Why did I exist, why don't I.... Still exist as that?...."

"...Your past existence was vastly different, and had an untimely end. Plans scrapped, ideas tossed out, you disappeared without a trace, with an unknown fate."

"You were scattered into oblivion, your existence something of an anomaly, shrouded in controversy to many. Some became protective of what you were, while others picked up the pieces to build you again. Sometimes, similar to before, other times, a person entirely new."

"I am one of such people."

"....I speak in poetry not to make you think it was so dramatic, but rather to understand just how it can feel to see such potential tossed away for.... Admittedly, idiotic reasons."

"The reality of things is that... The fans surrounding your realm's stories and worlds... They have more abilities than the creators themselves. Specifically in that... We don't abide by 'legality' or 'regulations' when creating. No matter the amount of lawsuits we always pump out something new, and one of the many sketches upon the paper of my notebook happened to be you."

"I've found a type of passion in reusing and recycling, in a character-creation sense. You're too interesting to pass up. I speak of myself like I'm a mythical being, a god to you, but all I am is a person with a goal, and that goal is to create with what's been lost to time and.... A plethora of legal battles."

"... So... I stopped existin' cauuuuuse.... legal shit? That's. Ironic, heh."

"I'd say I agree there."

"There's... Not a lot more to be said, except... That I have plans for you. Even if those plans never make it as big as I'd hope, I still have my plans. So... You don't have to worry about disappearing again."

"That's... Nice ta know, even if I won't remember ya sayin' it."

"Well, then. I suppose this is goodbye, for now at least."

"...Eh, later, I.... Guess?-"

And as suddenly as he'd felt himself pulled into this strange, dreamlike realm, he found himself waking from his nap, any recollection of the past conversation disappearing from his mind....

Damn... Took a long nap and he still feels tired.

#writing blurb #ive always enjoyed the concept of talking directly to a creation #it's intriguing to me #thos character.ai things are like. the closest i can get to that without fully controlling the other character's reactions #it's this weird uncanny part of writing where you really wish the things you wrote were really a whole other realm #and to the characters involved thats what it all is #its a weird 4th wall type thing #anyway #dogyz auz #scourgeposting #sth #sonic au #sorta #i guess lol

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fuckedupbutadorable · 8 months

Text

Now Playing: A Cassette Of Catastrophes

It is a Saturday night, I am laying in my bed, and there is a noose above my head. Not a real one of course. A metaphorical one, a sense of impending doom, if you will. A real noose would be way more serious. I'm not quite there yet.

Occasionally I wonder what will take me there. It's not all that occasional if I'm honest.

Anyway, let's come back to the impending sense of doom. I've always found doom to be a funny word by the way.

Doom. Doom. Doom.

It sounds more like a noise than a word doesn't it? Something little kids in a park imitating blasts would shout.

Doom. Doom. Doom.

The word sounds more and more ridiculous if you keep repeating it. But I suppose that's true for any word. Try it sometime. I once did it with my name.

But I digress. Coming back to where we were, I have this sense of impending doom. I've had it for a while now. It's not the easiest to explain. It's like somebody has taken out my brain and inserted a cassette of all the possible catastrophes in this world.

And these aren't Armageddon-type catastrophes. No, these are far more personal.

One of the most popular catastrophes on the cassette is me getting in an argument with somebody I love and them dying immediately after. Like immediately. No time to apologize, no chance to take back the hateful words I didn't mean, just my shouts echoing in the hollow space where they used to be. Eventually, the echo would end, but I'd be left with silence. Silence so vicious that I won't be able to breathe, silence so vicious that it will bleed into everything I touch, silence so vicious that I'd rather hang myself than sit in silence a second longer.

A close second on the popularity list is me dying in my sleep. Can you imagine it? Existing one second and being gone the next? My cassette can, quite vividly in fact. My roommate would probably find me the next day. She would maybe think I was just asleep at first. Then she'd feel my cold hands. She would definitely freak out. She'd get an ambulance but it would be too late by then. She'd call my parents. They wouldn't be able to compute it at first. After all, what parent expects to bury their own child? My siblings would be crushed, but they'd be strong for my parents. Maybe one of them would name their kid after me. My roommate would be traumatized. She'd probably need therapy to get over finding a dead body, which is unfortunate because I don't think her health insurance covers that.

But anyways, now that you have an idea of what the cassette sounds like, I hope you understand my sense of impending doom a bit better. The cassette starts at full volume the second I wake up, and most nights it is playing too loud for me to go to sleep. Occasionally it switches from terrible events that might happen in the future to terrible events that might happen right then. Honestly, I kind of appreciate the change of pace. At least with the latter, I can breathe once the moment has passed.

You might recommend I put the cassette off, or maybe replace it with a new one, but then you'd be missing the point entirely.

I think I should get up and walk around now. I've been in bed without sleeping far too long, and there comes a point when you must accept defeat.

I've never done this before by the way. Explaining my sense of impending doom. I don't know how I'd go about it if I'm honest.

I've imagined bringing it up offhandedly a couple of times with different people. Asking them if they've ever imagined a random car losing control and crashing into them. If they've ever imagined the breath leaving their body, bones cracking like brittle sticks, the gurgling noise in their chest as their lungs drowned in their own blood. I'd ask them if they've heard the sirens of an ambulance close by, and wondered what their last thoughts would be. If regret would cloud everything else. I don't think it would go over very well. I mean their own imminent mortality is not something people like to talk about over coffee, is it?

It should be though. Definitely more interesting than the weather.

My walking around the room has turned to pacing now. For some reason, talk of death seems to send adrenaline rushing through the body. Go figure. The thing about this adrenaline is, it leaves you exhausted. Every time my brain projects a detailed image of a tragedy, my body goes into overdrive, adrenaline pulsing through every vein. Then, when I don't actually die, the adrenaline recedes just as quick as it came, leaving me feeling like I just ran a marathon. One would assume that after months of this, my body would learn better. It would recognize that my brain has been sending false alerts since forever and learn to chill out. But that's not happened yet. I don't think it ever will.

Recently I've been putting this adrenaline to good use. Whenever I have a big load of dishes, I take a couple of minutes and let the sense of impending doom run free. Then, once the adrenaline makes me desperate to move, I get to work. Is this unhealthy? Arguably so, yes. Does it allow me to finish work at a superhuman speed? Also, yes.

It's Sunday now. It's still early but the sun will start to rise in a little bit. I think I'm going to take a shower and go up to the roof for a bit. I used to love that when I was younger. Music and a rooftop was all I needed to feel invincible. I've stopped going up there for a while now, the sense of impending doom starts working much harder on heights. But I hope it'll be worth it. After all, I've got to find sanity somewhere, right? Otherwise, I'm afraid that the noose is going to become real very quickly.

It's been worth it. As I sit here with these small sunbeams dancing upon my body, I think it's the first time I've felt substantial in a long time. I know it might sound weird, but there's something about the way the sunlight stops at my skin instead of passing right through it. Sometimes the cassette of catastrophes plays for so long without pause that instead of being alive, and laughing, and learning, and crying, and living, I start waiting for death.

After so many months of that, It's reassuring to know that I'm still here, wholly. It's reassuring to know that I'm real. It's reassuring to know that I'm not just a phantom that could disappear any second.

I've been here for an hour now, and the sun has started feeling overly warm. There's a sheen of sweat covering my body. I'm feeling different somehow. It takes me a minute to realize what the feeling is.

I want to do something. I only realize once I've said it out loud, but I don't think I've wanted to do something for a long time now. I guess it's kinda difficult to want to do stuff when you're constantly waiting for something to go wrong. Who would've thought?

I'm already in the appropriate attire, so I think running might be a good choice. Maybe all the serotonin from exercise will prolong this silence.

As I run, I realize just how much I've missed this. Not the running of course. The wanting to do something. The easy breathing. The listening to my music and actually hearing it. The being alive instead of surviving. It's nice.

It is now Sunday night. I can tell my respite is near its end. When you've been living with the sense of impending doom for so long, you learn to recognize its arrival. You recognize how it makes your breathing shallow. You recognize how it makes you hear disaster in every single sound. You recognize when it forces you to stare into the shadows till they come to life.

At this second, I can feel the sense of impending doom approaching fast, ready to wrap me in its frigid embrace once more. The cassette of catastrophes is starting to get louder in the background. I want to walk it off, to try and prolong this peace, but I don’t really have a choice. There isn’t enough fit in my body today. So I sit still and do nothing as the cold wraps itself around me, cutting off my oxygen, warping my reality, erasing my sanity.

But even now, there is a part of me that is holding on.

Holding on for the day when I will feel the sense of impending doom walk towards me and not flinch. I will stand there, and I will face her. We will meet like old lovers, each more forgiving of the other than we used to be. There will be no cassette of catastrophes serenading us, there will only be a soothing silence. We will share an embrace, and this time there will be no cold seeping into my bones, making a home for itself in the hollow of my chest. There will only be the warmth of familiarity shared between two who used to know each other. I will be the first to let go of the embrace, and when I do, the sense of impending doom will not dig her nails deeper into my flesh to try and draw blood. She will not hold on so hard that she scars me, and she will not scream and cry vitriol into my ears. She will let me go with grace. We will look into each other's eyes, and she will brush her hand against my cheek. We won’t make promises to meet soon, because we both know our paths will cross again. But at that moment we will say goodbye, and we will mean it.

There is a part of me that is holding on for another sunny day when I will feel real.

#anxiety #yes im an anxious creature #anxious writing #anxious musings #my writing #writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr #writerscommunity #kindly enjoy this piece of unhinged literature #new writers on tumblr #new writer boost #new writers corner #new writter #new writeblr #new writers society #intrusive thoughts #intrusive thinking

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a-girl-called-bob · 1 year

Text

(This is in response to some conversation around fan works and 'expy' characters)

@juneegbertfanpage The short answer is, yes! But if you decide to go that route, there are a few things I'd recommend keeping in mind.

First, if your fanfic uses excerpts from the original text or basically follows the original plot, then you'll have to rewrite those bits. This probably seems obvious but you'd really, really be surprised what people think they can get away with. Similarly, if there are some incredibly recognizable setting elements, you may have a hard time making it seem original - it's a lot harder to turn a Pokemon fanfic into an original story than, say, a Star Trek fanfic.

Second, most fanfic relies heavily on the reader's understanding of the original work to skip out on establishing characters. You can't do that if you're going to call your story an original work. Reread the first few chapters and see if you need to put in more early moments to give the reader an idea of who these people are. Also go back over the worldbuilding - unless you're in the business of writing very detailed AUs, you may want to reinforce some background details about the world that you might've glossed over originally because the audience should already know those parts.

Asterisk on that last part: when you're doing this, it could be nice to take some liberties and do some things differently than the 'original' work - after all, you don't need to worry about making anyone OOC anymore, because that's a different guy now! At this point, being consistent with who your characters are later (or rather, telegraphing some of the development they may have) is better than just using whatever your story was originally based on.

Third, if you've already published the story elsewhere in its original fanfiction form, people will likely find both that version and the version you've made more your own. This isn't going to constitute a problem legally (unless somehow you get accused of plagiarizing yourself), but you will be made fun of for being a fanfic author. Assholes will deride your work, regardless of its quality or originality, simply because it began life as a fan work. You and I know that that's bullshit - not only is there nothing wrong with writing fanfiction, but also so many other works out there theoretically *could* have started life as a fanfiction of sorts, and they are still celebrated works. Point is, if the original fanfic version of your story exists online somewhere, it will be found, and people will make fun of you for it; you can't let them get under your skin. Not that that is easy, but it is necessary.

Finally, be warned: independent authors get screwed over at astronomical rates. I've never published a book, so I would defer to any number of folks who've gone through the process multiple times, but overall I'd be careful who you talk to and be doubly careful who you send a manuscript to. When you get toward the publishing stage (after carefully editing your prior work [and getting the help of a beta reader or ideally two - one familiar with the original work and one fresh]) I would highly recommend seeking out the advice of fellow authors - there are certainly dozens of advice posts that have circulated around here, as well as years of discussions on other sites such as Medium, Reddit, and Quora. I'd also look for panels at any conventions you might be going to - most of the science-fiction/fantasy fan cons will have one or two discussions on getting published, at least in my experience.

#I think I covered pretty much all of the considerations around converting a fanfiction into a standalone work #or at least all of the ones I can see from where I'm standing #I also don't really touch on completely independent publishing on a site like itch #but none of the sites that I know about are really well geared toward fiction - they're all much better suited for other forms of media #(plus trying to go that route would make a run of physical copies incredibly unlikely to ever happen)

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rnisa · 2 years

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Near my beloved 🥰 I want to stitch him a sweater or a gift while he works on a case (fr does this guy have anything besides the standard white PJ’s? I’d pay money to see him in a goofy ahh holiday jumper) There’s something comforting about not having to constantly talk, just quietly existing in the other’s company is more than enough. And watching someone create something from nothing is always interesting to watch

Hi beautiful super sweet Anon! AWWH, that would be SO adorable, honestly. Imagine Halle putting him in a goofy holiday sweater and the SPK takes those traditional "Sears Family" christmas card-like photos. Of course they wouldn't, but it's a cute thought.

I feel like Near has extreme sensitivity to certain fabrics or materials, which is why he loves those white PJs so much. Could have to be a sensory issue and he finally found one thing he liked and it just became his "thing". But imagine his s/o finding that exact fabric and crafting something for him with it? He would appreciate your attentiveness and genuine consideration for his comfort! I do think he's a bit rude in that if you did make him something he genuinely doesn't want to wear, he wouldn't - he would, however, keep it close by at all times. Even if you make him a sweater, a scarf or something, he would play with it or tug at it, much as he does his hair. Either way, it would not be too far from him.

If you two are in a relationship, I can see him at least trying it on for you. He's not the best at expressing gratitude (he kinda just hopes you 'know' that he appreciates you), but hopefully it doesn't last long ahaha. You'll notice he's physically cringing (if the material isn't right) and after that, he takes it off and thanks you regardless. If the material is one that he finds no sensory issue with, he would definitely wear it for at least a day.

"There’s something comforting about not having to constantly talk, just quietly existing in the other’s company is more than enough. And watching someone create something from nothing is always interesting to watch"

I COMPLETELY agree with you. It's such a special feeling to not need to put any effort into having fun with someone. Your presence is enough for each other. There's no such thing as "uncomfortable silence", actually, you both prefer it this way. Your relationship is neither performative nor forced. If either one of you have something to say, you say it. Otherwise? You and Near enjoy each other's company and just knowing someone is nearby while you work on your respective hobbies and interests. Every so often, you might make a comment about what he's doing. You might ask him a question about the legos, what the final product will be. Jokingly you'll ask him if he needs any help, to which he looks up and gives you one of his classic goofy expressions like so;

Sometimes, he'll ask what you're working on. I can see him with someone artistic, either digitally or traditionally painting, maybe a sculptor, animator, etc. He'll ask you to show him your progress and will most likely give unsolicited advice. However, as an artist I'm sure you'd appreciate this. Near would not be shy in telling you something looks off; he doesn't do it out of malice - he only wants to help you. "...That thumb is on the wrong side of the hand." or, "I'm sure if a woman had breasts that big in real life, she would break her back." , "Did you mean for that to not make any anatomical sense at all?" Again, he doesn't want to bully you! That's his way of giving friendly advice ehehe. It might take some time to teach him not to give advice unless asked.

On another note,

As much as I'd love to see him in another color, I completely understand the monochromatic life. 95% of my clothing is the same color or close to it. It makes me feel cozy and it lifts my mental health. If I'm wearing anything else it's either a special occasion, or I'm having a hard time mentally. So I can understand why he wears all white! Funny though, I wonder if it has any relation to his hair also being white... Nevertheless, I'm sure it's just a comforting thing to him so he doesn't see a reason to wear much else.

#cute ask anon #near death note #death note #nate river #anon #ask

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privateanxieties · 1 year

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hey! just wanted to say that i usually serial like fics to read them later. they usually show up on my dash and i go oh great!! cant read it now but i sure want to later, lemme like it so i don't forget it exists and who posted it!!!!! i know how it comes off and i'm sorry it pisses you off :(

Hi! I'm not sure my post is about the behavior you described though. When fics come up on your dash, it's very unlikely they're all from the same person, at least, not 10+ times in a row. I'm talking here about people who finish reading, like the post, and move on to the next. Rinse and repeat because they're binge reading, not saving to read later.

I'd glad you understand that it comes off a certain way, and I'm sure not everybody means to do it, but my post was specifically about the people who genuinely don't care and never will.

Also, if you do come across a fic you like and think you'd like to read more from that person, you can like their masterlist if they have one. That way you can save it all to read later.

People who like all the posts from the same person one after another have usually already found the masterlist/person's blog, and are making their way through it right then, not saving the fics for later.

And to be honest, really... it doesn't piss me off anymore. It just makes me sad and disappointed. I put a lot into these stories (sometimes more than I even should for the reward) and it's disheartening to see that no one cares to comment, but they do like to read thousands upon thousands of words. Last year I posted upwards of 200k words worth of stories on here. I could've written a goddamn book instead of doing even half that amount. And all, and I do mean ALL that I and other fic writers ask for in return is just someone saying hi, I liked your fic! I liked how *fill in the blank*. We write more when that happens! We go insane for that shit! It helps us when we have a bad day to see that someone left a nice comment on something we wrote. It helps us just as much as it helps you when you read one of our fics to get away from things for a bit. And I don't think it's too much to ask.

At the end of the day, writers are going to keep writing. That's a given. Whenever they do it, however much of it they do - that's up to them. But whether they keep posting that writing, is honestly up to you, the readers. If I wouldn't get any responses to my fics either way, then I would just keep them to myself or share with close friends. Less work (and disappointment) that way.

#anon response #on fic engagement #i hate that word but that's what it is at the end of the day #reciprocity

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ghoulsister1 · 2 years

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👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸

Horror Movies I Remember Watching As A Kid👻

🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻🩸👻

Valentine (2001)

Oh this! Now this movie I would watch every opportunity I got. When it was on TV for Valentines Day I'd watch it while surrounded by chocolates and when it was over, I'd catch the repeat on the next channel! Ah I remember lying on the couch (unfortunately I was sick with flu at the time) surrounded by chocolate and Sprite and my plushies, comfy blanket and all just chilling and watching the movie start to finish. The nostalgia just brings back good memories. Love this movie😊 Also I always thought the killer looked deadly especially with the arrow scene, definitely Cupid got skills in archery!

Friday The 13th: Jason Takes Manhatten

I'm a big fan of Jason since I was a kid yet you'd be surprised that I haven't even watch HALF of the Friday The 13th movies. I remember only I think the one where the little kid is in it. But this movie got me hooked on the Friday The 13th and Jason Voorhees became my favourite slasher. Though I love the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise, you'll always find me cheering for Jason in Freddy vs Jason. Plus this movie has a killer beat theme song!😆

Nightmare On Elm Street

Now, to pick one favourite from the Nightmare On Elm Street would be difficult to say the least, not to mention that I can't cover all movies but luckily I only have really 3 movies I love in the franchise.

To start off, the first movie was my favourite. It was scary watching as a kid but that didn't stop me! The first one was brilliant and still is to this day. I would watch it a few days before Halloween and it just added to the atmosphere😊

Now the next one would be Dream Warriors because I liked the idea of the kids teaming up and using their dreams to fight Freddy. It was pretty cool to me as a kid at the time and to be honest, it's still cool to me😊

New Nightmare is another brilliant movie and the Freddy in it had just that absolute scare factor, like he just got even more scarier. The new claw glove in it was badass too and the storyline was very well put together. I loved it and its actually one of my sister's favourites too!😊

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

When I first watched this movie with my brothers, the scene at night in the woods and Leatherface coming out of freaking nowhere with the chainsaw scared the absolute shit out of me! Not gonna lie. But after the shock wore off I grew to love the first movie as it was scary as hell but I appreciated how it was put together to give you the best scare factor.

I did see number 2 of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and yes it was crazy as fuck but I do adore only certain horror movies that have that bat crazy factor and this movie got it. I love it!😆

Skinned Deep

I got this movie as a kid as a present. Now first lemme get this out of the way by saying it's okay if you never heard of this film nor be aware of it's existence. That's because to the small community of fans of this movie it's regarded as a cult movie so while it's not popular with the mainstream movie community it's popular to a select few. I never heard of this movie either but I still have it to this day and for a reason.

Yes, take it from me it's VERY weird. Like more crazy than Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. It's in some way similar to Texas Chainsaw Massacre but just amped up on the crazy factor. I do love the design of the Surgeon General (Bear Trap Guy Above⬆️). On scary factor it is more freaky factor but it does hold up. Now if you did see this movie your opinions may differ from mine so I'd like to hear your thoughts on the movie😊

Interview With The Vampire

I love vampires. Hell I wanted to be a vampire since I was a kid! Well my canines are pointed more than normal so yeah, I got fangs😂 Anyway this movie goes up there on my top vampire movies list next to Bram Stoker's Dracula. I'm a total Lestat fan. Like if I was a vampire I would be like Lestat. Of course I loved Louise in it but as a kid I found him slightly whiny🤣 But now i found Louise more tolerable. Mum allowed me to stay up one Halloween dressed as a vampire to watch this, drinking sweet sugar juice made to look like blood and eating candy🩸🦇 Ahh memories!

Bram Stoker's Dracula

My favourite Dracula movie alongside Christopher Lee's portrayal as the iconic vampire. This movie is so freaking good and love the storyline. Yeah it has the love story element to it but i don't care. I love the movie. And yes, I did want Mina and Dracula to live happily ever after!😂

Botched

I watched this on the Horror Channel after my room was redecorated. It takes place in Russia and yes It's bonkers but it's funny like some scenes made me laugh till my stomach hurted. I later got the movie on DVD and still have it to this day. It's a gem in my movie collection honestly. The movie is in English in case you are wondering. If you watched it, please let me know what you think of the movie😊

The Lost Boys

Another fave vampire movie of mine! Love David and his vampire biker crew in the film. They are a found family honestly and its cool! Watched this many times in the summertime as a kid and I would love to pretend I was one of them, like wearing shades around the house!😆 Very good movie! Also my favorite vampire crush is Marko🦇❤️😉

House On A Haunted Hill (1999)

Oh the nostalgia that just hits me when I think about this movie! Oh this movie was scary, to me at least at the time but that's how I grew to love the genre of horror even more. Seriously this movie rocked for me as a kid. And that's how I knew the lyrics to "Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This" because of this movie. It bewildered my parents to hear me sing the full lyrics to the Eurythmics version of the song even though I heard the remixed version in the movie but I knew the lyrics. So yeah bonus points for this movie teaching me the lyrics😂🎶

And now I'm gonna wrap this up folks! I'll return hopefully to make part 2 of this so I hoped you enjoy and maybe check a few of these movies out yourselves! See you later!😉

#horror #horror movies #jason voorhees #the cherub #freddy krueger #skinned deep #surgeon general #house on haunted hill #friday the thirteenth #valentine 2001 #the lost boys #vampire #dracula #bram stocker's dracula #interview with the vampire #the texas chainsaw massacre #sawyer family #botched #nostalgic

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