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ashleyh713fanfics · 2 months

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Dazai X Odasaku!Sister Ch10

Chapter 10: "Maybe With You, This Could Be Home"

Summary: A power struggle between the fifteen year old boy and the demon that lays within him. Which is the truth, and which is a fabrication?

Warning: pm! fifteen year old dazai, dazai self destructing, Odasaku death mentions, dazai torturing himself and everyone around him, manipulative behavior from both sides, mori mentions and grooming themes, underage drinking, talks of suicide. I gave Oda's sister a name but you can imagine it as y/n.

(This is chapter ten of my fanfic "Timeless" which is now on A03. It carries on from the three part intro I posted a couple days ago. I'll link it below to fully understand the story. Oda's death has been moved up to when Dazai is fifteen for plot purposes. Asagao's ability is to stop time for up to six seconds.)

Three Part Intro Here: (just cause the first chapter is so long)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

A03 Version Here:

Word count: 8k total

One Year Ago

Sitting across their usual spots at Bar Lupin, Ango and Oda waited patiently for their other friend to join them only for the glasses-wearing informant to break the silence first. “I still don’t know what to make of that boy..”

Odasaku only raised an eye though, his fingers reaching around the golden colored alcohol in front of him without a care in the world. “Who, Dazai?”

Nodding once, Ango frowned. “Yeah, that kid is like an enigma. I can’t ever understand what he’s thinking. What about you, Odasaku? Do you understand him?”

The red haired man paused then, his head lifting up the ceiling in order to think about his question. He had known Dazai for a couple years now, ever since he had shown up in front of his doorstep covered in blood.

He could still picture it like it was yesterday, the events that brought him here. “Well, I don’t think anyone could ever truly understand him, but I have a couple ideas..”

Leaning forward in interest, Ango coaxed. “Please share..”

And for a moment, Odasaku’s mind traveled back to a certain red haired girl that he had known maybe just as well as the boy. Perhaps that is how he could come to these conclusions, because he was drawing experience from somewhere else.

Pushing his head down to stare back at his liquor, Oda spoke honestly. “He's sharp witted with a mind like a steel trap..”

Stopping himself then, the man pushed his lips in silent thought. Yes, that was common knowledge, something even he was sure Dazai knew already. He was a port mafia executive after all, the youngest in the history of the organization.

But there was something else, something that not even the boy probably realized. Something that he tried to hide, and yet would always be buried deep underneath.

“And he's just a child━a sobbing child abandoned in the darkness of a world far emptier than the one we're seeing.”

------

Present

Hours.

Dazai spent hours with his victims, his fingers sticky with blood as he finally threw the descared knife on the ground of the unmoving and unrecognizable man. He had done what Mori had requested, what he was designed to do with his own horrible monstrous hands.

He had slashed his knife through every single pathetic whining baby that Mori had brought in front of him and made them talk one by one until there was no more.

All the information was received, and now there was nothing left but to stare blankly at the dead body in order for the heart crushing disappointment and guilt to quietly suffocate him with each breath.

He didn’t feel like a man or boy. He didn’t feel any sense of humanity anymore, that fleeting feeling back in Mori’s office now completely and utterly dissipated. Now there was only the demon, the monster that laid beneath it all.

Numb, empty, a hollow shell that’s all he was.

He vaguely heard the sound of footsteps only to feel his boss’ hands grace his shoulders from behind, eyeing the work with satisfaction. “I knew you could do it. Good job, Dazai.”

The boy didn’t respond though, his body unmoving at Mori’s fingers clawed deepered into his jacket with ease. “Oda was a fool to treat you like a child. In fact, it was wrong to assume you could ever be one. You have been and will always be so much more than that.”

His tone was cruel and mocking, like he was proving some kind of sick point and Dazai knew that’s why he did this. The boss was proving to the executive that he was right all along, that he didn’t deserve the term “child” not when it held the connotation of innocence and naivety.

That he could pretend, he could wish for himself to be a fifteen year old boy but in reality that would never be the case. Odasaku’s gentle manner towards him was a lie, that's what Mori wanted to get across.

And he had, he really did, because looking down at the mutilated body and bloodied clothes stuck to his skin, Dazai didn’t feel like anything else but a monster, a demon prodigy and an inhuman machine.

He had desecrated his best friend's final wish, he had mocked Odasaku’s sister’s kind words, he had disappointed and betrayed both of them in the worst way possible. What was wrong with him? Why was he like this? Why couldn’t he change?

Death was the only thing that he deserved now. He deserved to be wiped from this earth completely without a single trace. But even a sweet release seemed unworthy from his grasp now.

Feeling the hands fall from his shoulders, Mori then took a step back before allowing his puppet to be swallowed by the darkness completely. “Now, have a wonderful night. Dazai. You’ve earned it.”

The next few minutes were a blur, the brown haired mafioso robotically moving to the nearby sink in order to run the scalding hot water on his skin to rid of the blood before slowly undoing his bandages around his arms in order to clutch the metal sides with silent despair.

He couldn't even bring himself to look into the mirror, already knowing what he was going to find. A disappointment, a traitor and a lifeless corpse staring back at him. No, he didn’t want to see, he didn’t want to come to terms with such a sight.

Silently re-wrapping the hideous sight with a new batch of gauze, Dazai then stepped back with a sigh. And though the blood was physically gone, he could still feel it. Coating his skin, corrupting his mind like some sort of punishment.

He couldn’t just simply erase what he had done here today.

The world wasn’t ever that kind.

Muscle memory then seemed to bring him back to the familiar apartment buildings he seemed to always slump back to, the demon’s steps slow and silent as he passed by hoards of faces he couldn’t care enough to recognize or acknowledge.

And as the elevator sounded, Dazai knew what he’d find when he stepped into his sad, pathetic and suffocating apartment.

It was the same as always. He knew that he would probably drink himself to sleep, or some sort of equivalent of that while sitting inside his dark isolated space without a single sound.

Always wallowing, always drowning. Nothing more and nothing less.

Pushing open the door to the entryway, Dazai’s blank and clouded body then reached for the black jacket on his body in order to throw the object onto the floor without a single care and fully step inside the place.

And then he was alone, standing in solitude like he always was.

Yet that’s when his foot couldn’t help but tap against something on the floor in front of him, the mafioso stopping for the first time since arriving only to register a small sleeping body curled up into herself.

The move caused her to stir though, groaning before her drunken and sleepy coated expression lazily gazed up at the boy in order for her to yawn through her words. “Oh, you’re back. Sorry, I don’t know how I got here. Guess I got a little sleepy while waiting for you. But look, I’m here as promised!”

Dazai then watched as the red haired girl then scrambled to her knees in order for her lips to curve upwards in adoration for his very presence. “Welcome home, Osamu.”

At the sound of her voice, the boy felt the numb constraint on his body dissipate.

Oh.

That’s right. He wasn’t alone. Oda’s sister was here. He had left her here and she had promised to welcome him back. What a foolish and stupid little thing, and yet she had honored it even so. She had even gone as far as to sleep in front of his door like this so she wouldn’t miss him. What an idiot.

He then watched as she pushed herself back to her feet, stumbling a bit in the process in shaky unreliably before beaming happily. “Oh! Now that you’re here, I gotta show you my surprise! Come on, take a look!”

Reaching forward in order to grab onto his hand, Asa then felt herself freeze before she made contact in order to reel back with an apologetic smile, almost like she had forgotten about his fear of touch in her excitement.

She recovered quickly though, simply skipping away from him in order for the boy to look down at his hand and close it in response. She was always so considerate of him, even while drunk.

Yet, the second Dazai stepped closer into his apartment, the boy couldn’t help but freeze at the sight before him. Gone were the blank and empty walls, replaced by the warm glow of string lights, the sight almost like tiny little fireflies as he couldn’t help but move even closer.

The tables in front of him were filled with various candies and unhealthy junk food, covering the entire surface along with a giant blanket fort in the center of the room, the sheets revealing dozens of pillows and cute stuffed animals inside.

Pushing herself back in front of his vision, Asa then clapped her hands together. “Ta da! It’s a sleepover! I’ve heard about these things from people at my school and I’ve always wanted to try it! Look, there are snacks and pillows and we can even watch movies or tell scary stories!”

Dazai couldn’t help but scoff in disbelief at what she was suggesting though. “You’re inviting a port mafia executive to a sleepover?”

She only laughed at his negative response though, already hurrying over to the small opening just a couple feet away. “Yeah! I mean, why not? We are still kids, you know. Gotta enjoy this stuff before we become boring old grown ups. Now, come on! There is plenty of room in here!”

Kids.

There was that word again. It was like the universe was mocking him with it, taunting him with a term he could never attach himself to. Tonight had proved that.

How dare she, didn’t she know what he did? Didn’t she know about the phantom blood that was coating his hands even now? What a ridiculous statement she had just uttered.

And looking at this display, the warm and welcoming aura was literally the exact opposite of the cold and dark port mafia basement that he had drowned in for the last mind-numbing hours. He didn’t know how to take it, this sudden whiplash and change.

So much so, Dazai felt his unstable mind start to falter, his fingers twitching in response before falling back into the old habits that were familiar and safe. He needed to, he needed to show Asagao that he couldn’t have what she was suggesting.

He didn’t need it. He was far too tainted for it.

Reaching his hands forward, Dazai’s fingers then roughly wrapped against Asa’s wrist before purposely swiping her drunken feet underneath her, the girl falling back onto the waiting pillows only for the boy to appear above her just like with any other whore that wandered into his place.

Asagao’s eyes couldn’t help but widen at the gesture, now finding the bandaged captive holding her down by her wrists, the distance barely breathable between the two.

The executive then smirked deviously in order to twist the tips of his fingers around the longest strand of hair he could find. Anything to corrupt this seemingly innocent construct she had built. “Oh sweetheart, I’d much rather continue where we left off in that elevator.”

Leaning forward, Dazai’s cruel gaze then locked with her confused little eyes before forcing his knee into the space between her legs, pulling them just slightly apart in a tease as he pressed himself deeper into her.

And though he had no plans to actually go through with anything, he needed to get it through her thick head how wrong she was for saying that stupid little phrase. “I mean, you didn’t seriously think that this is what I meant by you spending the night? Oh how innocent you are, darling. So defenseless against a man like me. I guess I have to show you what I mean firsthand. Hmm?”

Then to prove his point, Dazai shifted his head to the left in order to teasingly blow a breath of hot air into her ear before his tongue just barely grazed the side as he felt her chest constrict in surprise at the motion. “Calling the demon prodigy a kid, how wrong you are. Well, tell me. Does this feel like something a kid would do?”

That was it, now she would see that he couldn’t fit in that innocent box she had foolishly built. Just a little more to get his point across, then she would learn her mistake.

As if on cue, he then heard the girl in question whisper, the sound just barely audible, like she was desperate for something. “Osu..”

And because of their position, Dazai assumed it was because of his touch, the boy’s head pulling away cockily in order to look back at her with a small tease. “What is it, love?”

Yet that’s when the two locked eyes as Asagao’s anxious hands moved against his handmade chains, almost like she wanted to touch him. “Did something happen?”

Then all at once, Dazai felt his carefully crafted exterior start to crack ever so slightly. She sensed his distress? No, it couldn’t be. He had hid it so well in his womanizing ways. There was no way she knew about the disgusting thoughts of self hatred inside his head.

Forcing himself to remain calm, the boy then gave her a signature smirk before purposely pushing his hands even tighter around her wrists in order to slam her back into the floor. “Whatever do you mean? I’m just excited to play with my favorite girl.”

And yet, Asagao didn't take the bait, her lips twisting together in conflict before sadly replying. “It’s just...it seems like you're forcing something..”

Forcing something? No, of course not. What could he be forcing? This is who he was. He was just trying to prove to her that he wasn’t a child. He was trying to show her how much of an adult he actually was by seducing her. That’s what he did for everyone else.

For a kid, growing up in the mafia meant no restrictions. It meant killing and drinking and sex and following the lead of everyone else in the organization.

It didn’t matter if he wasn’t old enough for any of it. That didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except forcing himself into the adult box that everyone else around him conformed to easily.

And Dazai did it all. He brought woman back and fucked them just because it was what he thought he had to do. He learned how to seduce and flirt in order to get information for the mafia. He did everything like it was a textbook list in order to seem more grown up and mature and fit into the mold.

It wasn’t about what or desire.

It was a necessity, a skill to use in order to pretend to be a man.

No, he was a man .

He had to be. Since he couldn’t be a child that was the only option.

Feeding her another one of his rehearsed lines, Dazai tried to brush off the accusation. “Well, I can be quite forceful…”

Asa only frowned though, her voice just as sharp as before. “You know that’s not what I mean. How am I wrong? I thought we were both the same age..”

Laughing back at her ridiculously naive statement, he shook his head. Just because they were both fifteen didn’t mean they had the same luxuries and freedoms. “We may be the same age but we are worlds apart, love.”

Asa raised an eye in reply. “How so?”

And at that, Dazai felt his eyes close in that same suffocating shame that he had felt back in the port mafia’s basement. She was so stupid, if only she knew the things he did tonight, if only she saw the way he utterly disregarded Odasaku’s plea for change.

Then she would know why he had to force this right now, why he had to hold onto the routine that he had always fallen back on. Because if he broke out of that now, the boy knew he would break down completely.

Because of that, Dazai decided to be cruel, to unveil his entire evil heart to her in hopes that it would finally get her to understand why he needed to keep that mask on. “Would a kid skin something alive tonight? Would they watch the life leave their eyes, break all their bones and dismember each of their limbs until they were hardly recognizable? I don’t think so.”

He could still feel it, the blood on his fingers, the screaming shouts of his victims to stop and the sound of them choking on their own death over and over again. Whatever imagine she had conjured up in her mind about him was not reality.

And for a moment, he watched that happen, Asa’s eyes widening in shock at his gruesome and horrifying explanation before Dazai forcibly let up on her wrists so that she could run away or slap him for the betrayal.

But even so, it seemed the girl was frozen to the spot, her body and arms unmoving as Dazai cruelly finished above her. “Perhaps you should think twice before you call the demon prodigy something so innocent like a child..”

It was just as Mori had said. Anyone would be foolish to correlate those words together about him. He didn’t deserve that kind of title. He never did.

Yet, that's when Asagao spoke, her voice small and curious. “Why can’t it be both?”

And for the first time at night, Dazai was clueless by her words, his head turning in pure intrigue. That’s not at all what he thought she’d say. “Huh?”

Pausing for a moment, Asagao then thought about her words before blinking her eyes in pure unruly innocence for the situation before her. “You say it like it can only be one or the other, but why can’t you be both the demon prodigy and a kid?”

At that, Dazai felt himself scoff in absurdity

Both? What an idiotic way of thinking. Someone couldn't be a devil and yet an angel, they couldn’t be black and then white. That was impossible. Didn’t she know that those two terms were polar opposites, like fire and water?

Shaking his head, Dazai then leaned back into her body, his fingers latching onto her cheeks in order to pull her closer with a glare. “Don’t be stupid. There is no way those two things can exist in the same universe. They contradict themselves, they are..”

Asagao only smiled though, her words far too honest for him to handle. “You. Both of them. I’ve seen it firsthand. Your goofy/teasing smirks, your carefully thought out scripts, the way your face lights up when you see a letter from my brother, the way you manipulate and take control of every single situation. They are a contradiction yet they are all you, Osamu, and I’ve never seen anything wrong with that.”

And that was something Asa believed wholeheartedly. She had read about this boy for years after all, she knew everything about him and now that she had actually spent time with him, Asagao knew that Dazai wasn’t a simple man.

Yes, he was cruel and controlling with little to no boundaries but there were moments, brief cracks in his exterior that showed another side to him, a softer one. And whether he realized it or not those tiny fractures had shown her glimpses of who he really was.

It was hard to pinpoint exactly with all the masks he wore but pretty quickly Asagao had realized that her claim about Dazai when they first met was no longer valid. She had read him wrong this entire time.

She called him open and real but that wasn’t true at all. No, from the three weeks they had spent together she had learned that the boy was fabrication, a professional shapeshifter in the most impressive form.

He could be so many things at the flip of a hat, going into so many roles that fit his desire. He could be a brutal port mafia executive, a cruel controlling conman and yet a gentle and sensual lover.

But none of those were actually the real Dazai Osamu, not really.

They were just fragments, pieces of him sure, but he had never allowed himself to paint an entire picture.

Perhaps he didn’t know how to, perhaps he had acted and pretended so much that he didn’t know his true self anymore.

But as selfish as it was, Asagao wanted to find him. She wanted to uncover the mystery that was Dazai Osamu and admire him for who he actually was.

Even if it turned out to be a sad, scared little boy that had built up walls to keep himself safe.

It didn’t matter, she would cherish him even so. She wanted to, simply because her big brother had done the same. Brother, did you know the real him? Did you figure out who he was underneath it all? I’ll never know, but if you did..I want the same..

Feeling his hold loosen on her jaw, Asa then continued her explanation, her gaze catching on the self made blanket roof above the two of them before softening. “Just because you grew up in the mafia doesn’t mean you still can’t be a kid. You can still allow that part of yourself to come out, you know. I mean, I get not wanting to show it at work cause you gotta put up a front but don’t think it’s all bad..”

She then turned back at him with admiration, recalling the goofy and child-ish reactions he had given her throughout these past few weeks.

And although she knew that wasn't completely genuine, she wanted him to know how much happiness the fragment had brought her. “Because when I get to see it, I love it every time...”

Dazai couldn’t believe what he was hearing though.

Love? She loved his pathetic weak side? She loved that he was a contradiction of fire and water? What was she saying, of course being a kid was bad. He couldn’t allow such a thing.

Seriously, why couldn’t she just be normal, why couldn’t she just hate him and be stupid like everyone else. Why did she have to read him to his very soul every single time? He hated it, he hated how he could never hide with her.

Of course there was something wrong with it. He was an amalgamation of broken parts, forced to be shoved together with the flimsiest glue in the universe.

But the way she was speaking, the way she looked at him with so much admiration and passion, he couldn’t help but feel his stomach twist and turn with mixed emotions.

Whatever he did, it really didn’t bother her, did it? He could really just murder, torture and explain the darkest parts of himself and still she wouldn’t ever bat a single eye. He knew she wouldn’t.

Now did that make her insane or just way to accepting? That was still up for debate.

But either way, Dazai felt his lips twist upwards into a disbelieving chuckle, his arms growing numb in order to turn and collapse next to the stupid girl with a sigh.

He gave up. Her thinking had stumped him again. “Idiot...you’re a real idiot, Asagao.”

She didn’t seem to mind though, the sound causing her to smile as well, in order for the tense atmosphere to disappear. “Believe it or not I’ve been told that before.”

Dazai only nodded though, not surprised at all. “Oh, I believe it.”

The air was quiet then, coating the two with silence only for Asa to speak first, happy to change the subject.“So, what else did you do tonight? You know, besides the torture.”

She said it so comfortably, like she was talking about the weather and Dazai wondered if she had seen and/or done the same kind of thing when she was a hellhound. That would explain her unbothered air to everything.

Pushing his bandaged arm up in the air, Dazai sighed. “Not much, had a boring talk with Mori and then played around with my dog a bit..”

At his sentence, Asagao felt herself perk up, her eyes practically giddy at the memory of the ginger haired boy that she had encountered just hours ago. “I met him tonight, your dog.”

Then all at once, Dazai felt his entire body turn on his side in disbelief. Hold on, did she just hear that right? She had met Chuuya?

Well, that was unexpected. “What, really?”

Nodding, he then saw as the girl beamed back, pointing an excited finger towards her nose with a goofy smile that filled up her entire face. “Yeah, it was great! He hit me in the face!”

Although that’s when she watched Dazai’s eyes lower into a more dangerous expression, as he felt his throat tick with anger. What did she mean he hit her in the face ?

Just what was that stupid dog doing? Hurting his precious little darling, that guy had a death wish for sure, and not the fun kind.

Reaching his hands up, the boy then placed them on either side of her cheeks before inspecting every inch of her skin. “He hit you..?”

Although that’s when Asa quickly perked up and finished the sentence. Ah, that sounded bad, didn’t it? Sorry, Chuuya. “Oh I mean, accidentally of course! And then he helped me stop my nosebleed.”

The explanation was better, but not by much, the boy softening just slightly when he realized that there were no marks on her face. Chuuya was lucky there wasn’t any too, or else he knew he’d have to have a word with him about it. A very violent word.

Allowing her skin freedom, Dazai’s hand then reeled back before shaking his head with a scoff, still not okay with how things played out. “That idiot, he never looks where he’s going..”

Asagao couldn’t disagree with that though, knowing that Chuuya was distracted when his hand accidentally connected with her face. It was both their faults really, but she was sure Dazai didn’t want to hear that.

So instead, the girl allowed another quiet to overtake them in order for her to recall the kind ginger haired boy that had taken care of her. He was so sweet, cleaning up that blood for her. She kinda wanted to meet him again, to talk to him some more like Dazai did all the time.

Taking in an anxious breath, Asa then began to play with the ends of her skirt in order to turn towards the bandaged boy with a hopeful whisper. “Hey Osu, do you think he’d wanna be friends with me?”

Dazai only twisted his lips in disgust for the idea though, his opinion very known. “Why would you ever want to be friends with that slug?”

Asa only shrugged her shoulders though, recalling the conversation the two had shared in the bathroom's waiting area. “I don’t know, I just figured that if he could handle you then maybe he could handle me.”

It was something that crossed her mind ever since Chuuya had mentioned Dazai’s name. And it was no secret that her and Osu’s mindsets were rather similar in style. Perhaps in some way, she hoped that she had finally found someone that wouldn’t run away for once.

Wishful thinking, she knew, but it was worth a shot to ask.

The mafioso only scoffed though, his feelings not mutual on the subject. “You don’t need to befriend that idiot. His stupid will rub off on you, and you already have enough of that as it is.”

And yes, a part of his answer was because Chuuya was in the mafia which meant another dangerous tie to Mori but that wasn’t completely the reason why Dazai had shut the idea down.

It was insecurity, it was anxiety that the ginger was a much better man than him, and if Asa knew that then she would abandon him for Chuuya without a second thought. Anyone with a brain would do that. He was normal, and Dazai was not.

Sighing heavily, Asa then frowned at the disapproval. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just know I’m a lot to handle and most people can’t really understand it. I just thought that maybe since he already knows what you’re like then there was a chance that..”

The rest of her sentence disappeared due to nerves, and yet her mind finished it even so. Maybe there was a chance I could finally have a friend, that someone could tolerate me enough to finally stick around.

Dazai’s lips couldn’t help but pout at that though, his fears of being abandoned and left behind showing in a jealous and bitter whine. “And what am I, Asa-chan? I understand your twisted little mind better than anyone, especially better than that stupid yapping dog. Trust me, you don’t need him.”

At that, Asagao felt herself smile under her breath. Did he really think she would forget about him? Osamu was and would always be the most important person to her. Even more than a friend, he was her lifeline.

Not wanting him to feel left out, Asa then turned on her side to meet him, her soft gentle gaze meeting his anxious one. “That’s true, you’re plenty enough for me.”

And with that, Dazai’s shoulders began to relax ever so slowly, his breathing retreating back to normal before looking up at the blanketed sky above them. This looked like a lot of work, it seemed to take hours at least.

He could even picture her drunken little stumbles as she carefully crafted each aspected of her little surprise. What a silly little thing she was, doing all of this. He didn’t deserve it.

Feeling his voice come out far more uncertain than he had planned, the bandaged boy whispered apprehensively. “Did you really put all of this together..?”

The rest of the phrase was lost in the air but it was obvious even so.

..for me?

Did she seriously put all of this planning and hard work together just for a pathetic little boy like him? He had never had that before, he had never been surprised with good intentions. He had never had anyone think about him or care about him in this kind of way.

Asa only nodded her head though, like the answer was obvious. “Of course, I wanted to make you happy, like you do for me. So, did it work? Are you happy? Did I make your home a little more fun?”

Happy?

What did that feel like, to be happy? And was that what he was feeling now? He wasn’t sure, but Dazai did feel a strange tumble inside his chest, the feeling so warm that it was almost too nauseating to process.

It was a foreign sensation, one that the boy couldn’t understand in the slightest. How was one supposed to react to that question? He didn’t know.

But what he did know was how utterly wrong she was with that little sentence of hers. She kept calling this place a home, and he knew that wasn’t accurate at all.

Forcing the warmth from his chest, Dazai then narrowed his eyes in order to focus on correcting her absurd sentence. “This place has never been my home. It’s just a building with rooms, that’s all.”

Asagao wasn’t surprised by that though. She had gotten that much from her very first inspection. A home wasn’t supposed to be that sad and lonely after all. That’s why she did all of this in the first place, so he would feel better about coming back here.

And because he had shown her a bit of vulnerability, she wanted to do the same, even if it was hard to talk about. “I get that. Oda’s place doesn’t really feel like home either. So I can understand how you feel, coming back to somewhere that doesn’t feel right, like you're a stranger in your own house..”

Someone else’s place, someone else’s bed, it never did feel right for her to be there, especially since she never knew the previous owner. Maybe if she knew Oda then the walls wouldn’t be as mocking but that wasn’t a luxury she was given.

Dazai remained silent at that, almost like he had wordlessly agreed with her as Asagao closed her eyes in simple thought. Tomorrow their little “freebie” would be done and they would go back to the strangers they were before.

And although it was far past what they had decided, Asagao didn’t want that.

She didn’t want them to go back to being strangers, not after she had gotten a taste of who he was. That lonely, sad and suffocating feeling, she never wanted to go back to that again now that she had found someone that had understood her.

Just a little bit more, that’s all she needed. That’s all she wanted from him. Perhaps it was impossible, but she would never know unless she tried.

And using her drunk confidence, the girl did just that. “Osamu..I..uhh..”

Stopping her failing tongue, Asagao then took a heavy breath before pouring out her feelings. “I know the specifics of our deal are already made and everything but these last two days have been really nice. I’ve never had this before, and I wanted to thank you for it. For giving me Bar Lupin, for showing me that photo, for bringing my brother back to life, and for allowing me to be myself without judgment. It means a lot to me..really..”

It was something she would never forget, the kindness he had shown her tonight. She somehow felt closer than she had ever been before to her big brother and it was all because of him.

Pausing for a moment, Asa then squeezed her eyes shut with anxiety before shoving the words out before she could change her mind. “And I just...I want you to know that if there is a day that you don’t want to come back here, then you can come to me..”

Oh god, she said it. She really said it. Hold on, that sounded creepy, didn’t it? She didn’t want him to think she was creepy. Quickly Asagao, explain yourself before he laughs at you.

Pushing her hands up, Asa then stuttered through her embarrassed pink cheeks, the room suddenly feeling way too warm “I-I don’t mean that in a weird way or anything. I know you’re still gonna come over for the letters but that doesn’t have to be the only reason we have to see each other if you want to. You could always just stay the night and leave right after or hang around the place, or even sit in complete silence if you just need to be near someone. I don’t mind, really.”

Finally taking a much needed breath, she then forced her mouth closed before a small smile crossed her lips. She did it, she had taken a step forward and pushed herself out of her comfort zone.

Speaking mostly to herself, the girl then finished wistfully imagining a perfect world where her dreams could be. “In fact, I’d actually really like it if you did that. Because then, maybe with you, that place could be home.”

And maybe it could, maybe with Osamu there, Oda’s apartment could feel like home, like she could belong there. She had seen small glimpses of it when he came over for her brother’s letters. Perhaps the house could be that lively all the time. She hoped it could.

A heavy silence then appeared between the two, causing Asagao’s head to turn towards Osu only for her eyes to widen at the sight before her.

Because for some reason, the scary port mafia executive, the demon prodigy, looked like the embodiment of a ghost, his skin sickly pale and unmoving as his eyes stared into what seemed like absolutely nothing at all. It was almost like the boy had ceased to function completely, his mind unable to process the offer that Asa had given him.

All at once, Asagao leaned forward in concern, her voice laced with anxiety and fear in order to try and snap him back out of whatever state she had put him in.

Oh no, what had she done? Did she offend him? “...Osamu?”

Yet, before she could process it, Dazai’s fingers had quickly found the edges of the blanket she was laying on and lifted them up in order for her entire body to flop around like fish as the boy beamed happily. “Alright, time for bed!”

Gasping out a squeak in surprise, she then felt her entire body start to get constricted by the blankets in order for Osu to comically roll her up until just her head and wiggling feet were showing. “Whaaa, wait Samu, what are you doing?!”

He only laughed though, picking up the poor wrapped girl before throwing her over his shoulder in order to move over to his bedroom with an over the top air. “I’m making an Asa-chan burrito so that way you can’t escape!”

Asagao then felt her entire body plop onto his bed in order for her to whine in disappointment. “But what about our sleepover? I worked so hard.”

Dazai only placed a finger to her nose though, stopping her self pity party with a teasing smirk. “But isn’t sleeping also a part of a sleepover?”

Nodding apprehensively, Asa frowned. “I guess..”

Reeling back in finality, the boy then clapped his hands goofily before already walking away, almost like he needed to leave this conversation sooner rather than later. “That settles it! Now come on, my drunk princess needs her beauty sleep or else she’s gonna regret it in the morning.”

But as she watched him go, Asa couldn’t help but call back in concern. “What about you, where are you going to sleep?”

She had taken up the entire bed after all, and Asagao didn’t want Dazai to have to sleep on the sofa or something uncomfortable like that. Hell, if she wasn’t tied up like the giant sushi then she would’ve offered to move.

Although that’s when Dazai paused, his overconfidence dropping for a millisecond in order to glance back at the girl with a more genuine, less happy smile. “Aww, don’t you worry, darling. I’m naturally beautiful. It would be impossible to lose my good looks.”

Then before she could argue, he was gone, leaving Asagao to slump against the pillows with a heavy sigh of defeat. He didn't answer her question, now and back under the fort. But what did that mean?

And why did he look so sad when he turned back to her?

------

Carefully closing the door to his bedroom, Dazai waited until he heard the soft click of confirmation before his happy go lucky and cheery exterior dropped away into nothing, leaving only a placid and sunken expression.

He had run away.

One push from Asagao and he had retreated into himself so quickly, it was almost like second nature. Her request to get closer to him, to have him rely on her past their original agreement, just what was she thinking?

Of course, he wanted that.

He wanted to have somewhere he could call a home, he so desperately wanted something to stop the crippling loneliness that he felt whenever he returned back to these sad and hollow walls and floors. He wanted it so badly that it physically hurt him to even think about it.

To have a family, to have a friend, to have something to hold onto when life abused him and kicked him down over and over again. He so desperately wanted someone to hear his cries and reach out their hand so that he could collapse safely and never leave again.

But, Dazai knew that he couldn’t, because he had already done so before.

And it had ruined him.

He had let his walls down around Odasaku, and for a split second, the boy thought that he could have those things too, but then they were taken from him. Just like that, in a blink of an eye, they were gone, leaving him in the dark once more.

What was the point of it all, why did he even do that? Why did he try? It’s not like it mattered in the end, if anything it made everything worse. Because now that he had gotten a taste of companionship, it was like a drug, never leaving him alone.

And Asagao was the worst kind of drug of all.

One that he couldn’t allow himself to indulge in, to addict himself so heavily like before. No, he had learned his lesson, he wouldn’t get his hopes up and destroy himself a second time.

Because it never changed anything, and Dazai knew in his sick little twisted brain that the moment he crumbled and closed their distance, she would be taken away from him as well.

No, he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t lose someone like that again.

That’s why it was better to never know what that warmth was, what that path felt like. Yes, it was better to never know then to find out and have it ripped away in the end.

Moving over to the large window by his living room, Dazai then leaned against the cool glass, allowing it to chill his entire soul.

It would be easier to just let her go completely, to cut ties with Oda’s sister before he was tempted with more.

But just the very thought caused his entire body to tense in response for even thinking about such a thing. No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t let her go, not when she was close to his dear friend, not when she had brought him so many wonderful things.

Even Dazai knew he wasn't that kind. He was far too selfish to give her that kind of mercy, to completely lose her in his life.

And though it was dangerous, though he realized he was walking an extremely thin line over a cavern-like pit, he couldn’t help still balance on it.

Standing still from the distance they had but never taking a step forward, that was the fate the boy that resisted himself to, and he was determined to keep it.

It didn’t matter if that result left him alone, it didn’t matter if twisted his heart and shoved his invisible needs down, it didn’t matter if that result left him screaming in the dark like he had always been, this was the only path for him now.

And he would walk it, simply because he had to.

Taking out his phone from his pocket, Dazai then pushed a very familiar button before he heard the singular ring inside his ear.

And then, after two little sounds, Ango’s voice picked up, just as panicked and anxious as he expected it to be. “Dazai? What is it?”

The mafioso only hummed though, his fingers trailing the glass in front of him. “Oh nothing, I just thought you’d be interested to know that I found our little lost princess.”

Almost immediately, the voice jumped up, the tone growing louder. “Wait, you did? Where is she? Tell me the address and I’ll come over right now..”

Although that’s when Dazai cut him off completely, a suppressed laugh inside his throat. “Oh, that won’t be necessary. You see, Ango. I’ve taken quite a liking to her. I think I’m gonna keep her.”

And from the other side of the phone, Ango felt his face drop. No, this was the worst result he couldn’t ever have imagined. “K-Keep? Dazai, you know you can’t do that. It’s too dangerous. What if Mori..”

Yet that’s when Dazai responded, his voice serious. “He won’t.”

Catching the agent completely off guard, Ango couldn’t help but twist his eyes in confusion. Where was that cruel teasing air he had been using? It had disappeared completely. “What?”

The bandaged boy only narrowed his eyes though, clutching the phone between his fingers before allowing his voice to ring with soft honesty. “Mori won’t find out about her. Odasaku wouldn’t have wanted that, so he won’t.”

And for a moment, Ango felt himself freeze. Was he saying that he was going to protect Asagao, that he was going to keep her safe from Mori and the port mafia? No, it couldn’t be. Dazai wasn’t that kind of man, well at least that’s what he thought.

It was surprising to say the least, suggesting such an out of character thing for him. Was it because of Odasaku, was that why he was going out of his comfort zone? Ango wasn’t completely sure but from his tone of voice it didn't seem like he was lying.

But with Dazai, he could never really tell.

Because of that, the man was still apprehensive. This was such a precious thing they were talking about, this was their friend's dear little sister. He couldn’t let up on such a thing. “I don’t know, I just don’t think that she should..”

Yet that’s when the boy cut him off again, a sharp threatening edge to his voice. “Ango, if you continue then you’ll be my enemy. You know what that means, right?”

And for the first time since their conversation, Ango felt his eyes widen.

Because he knew exactly what that meant, he knew the death sentence that was implied by being labeled the misfortune of the enemy of port mafia executive Dazai Osamu.

But could it really be true? Dazai was threatening war with the government just to keep her? He wanted to risk that much? Perhaps he was wrong, perhaps Asa did mean more to the boy than just a simple plaything.

Could it really be, had the brutal mafia executive finally grown a heart?

He couldn’t really tell for sure but the lethal threat was enough to make Ango close his eyes in unsaid defeat. If Dazai was really that serious about defending her then he knew he couldn’t argue.

But that didn’t mean he was going to let up if that changed. “You better keep your word, Dazai. If anything happens to her, just know Odasaku would never forgive you, and neither will I…”

And just like that, the line went dead, causing Dazai to drop the phone to his side in silent confirmation.

Ango didn’t need to worry about that. He would protect her, from Mori, from the world, but mostly from the most dangerous threat of all.

Himself.

---

(It's been a month since I've started this fic! Thank you so much for all your support and love on my first bsd story!)

I call this chapter "let Dazai be a kid" because in most fanfics I've read a lot of authors focus on either the "fifteen year old boy" aspect of Dazai or a "brutal executive" side of him and although none of them are wrong, in my mind I think he's really a mix of both. The line that Odasaku uses to describe him in the novels really inspired this chapter in order to show both sides of the complex boy. We see this in the expectations and the box that he tries to put himself into to seem more adult (the drinking, the pressure of seduction) but in reality it comes across from of a child playing dress up than the truth.

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tacticalhimbo · 2 months

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Howdy hey @pheedraws , I'm your bloody valentine for this year's event held by @carlosoliveiraa !!

I had a really fun time learning about Ilona and her tense history with the rest of the family, but especially that with Heisenberg. I hope I managed to capture their push-and-pull kinda dynamic, and I hope you enjoy this! <3

Let me know if you'd like a more permanent copy of this, too! I'm always happy to provide a PDF version of the writings I do :3

Under the cut for length! (this ended up being almost 2k words hehe)

The coldest of the winter months had finally approached, thickened blankets of snow encapsulating the quaint village and its surrounding wilderness. Winds howled through the distant trees, sinking low into the narrow pathways between buildings, carrying a flurry of snow with it. Crystalline sculptures shimmered in the sun's overcast light as they fell, drawing attention to the way they'd gathered in a nearly blinding landscape. Dark stonework was accentuated by the vibrant snow, just as the flourishing pine needles were. Gnawing as the chill that lingered in the air was, there was, too, an odd comfort to its overwhelming presence. A comfort that, as the sun eventually began to settle behind the horizon and the village began to grow quiet, encouraged a few intriguing residents to take in the stillness of it all. To wander through the sparse lantern glows and out into the moonlit wilderness, abandoning the set paths for something more organic; less explored. Distant lycan howls set the boundary for it all, warnings of what may happen if one were to straggle too far away from the epicenter.

Yet even that comfort did not explain how, or why, Ilona found herself in the fields adjacent to the run-down, albeit functioning, factory on the village's outskirts.

There was no comfort in the metallic whirs and groans. No comfort in the prospect that, should fate decide to be a particularly cruel mistress, Ilona run into the factory's owner—or one of his creations. It was still up for debate which would have been worse, frankly. The hostility of the mechanical beings was simple in its nature. Programming kicking in as rusted mechanisms sputtered to life. A mere reflection of their created purpose: Defense. Lord Heisenberg's hostilities, on the other hand, were bred of arrogance. Full of malcontent. It was intentionally designed to get under the skin of whatever poor soul ended up on the other side of that wolfish grin. Yet that, too, proposed another discussion of whether it would have been better to be maimed physically, or walk away with a wounded ego. Regardless, the answer was lost as well-placed speakers crackled to life. As that grating, smug voice rang out across the field.

"Well well, what do we have here? A late night visitor, all the way from her mighty home in the comforts of the village. And what do I owe the pleasure?"

Dark eyes narrowed. "You don't. I was just leaving."

"Is that so? I don't know, might be dangerous to head back so late. Heard there's lycans about." The fact was spoken as if it were a rumor, words shadowed by a low purr resonating from the man's chest as he teased. It earned nothing more than a scoff and the roll of the woman's eyes, back turning to the building as she began to make her way down the field.

That was, until a series of rustling in the treeline created a pause. Brought Ilona to a stop as her annoyance only grew. There was no proof of it, and it was something so unlikely to consider, yet she couldn't help but clench her jaw at the prospect that—by some account—Karl had set something up to lure them. Or was it so simply as him setting up his fancy little radio, and daring to open that mouth of his? Whatever it was, two paths lay before her: Take her chances and throw herself to the 'wolves', or begrudgingly wait out the pack's hunt in that cursed factory. While the first option was infinitely more tempting, there was a weariness beginning to weigh on her shoulders. The biting cold that began to properly creep under the layers of cloth and tug at her skin; it was enough for her to begrudgingly turn herself back up the path. And hearing the static of the speakers was enough for Ilona to almost consider turning back once more. Instead, she simply glared to the closest one, sat upon the corner of the decrepit brick.

"Don't even. Just shut up and open the door already."

And, as instructed, the rustled mechanisms groaned as the factory's doors slid open, allowing the warm air from within to bleed out across the shrinking distance. Allow the whines and creaks to overwhelm the immediate landscape alongside it, subtly encouraging a quickness in the woman's steps. The lycans had heard it, too. Paused their consumptions to perk their heads toward the sound, feral eyes fixated in wait. Yet no meal came to them, and they'd simply returned to the chilled leftover at their claws' end as Ilona found herself walking right into the hands of her…

Adversary? Acquaintance? Whatever it was Heisenberg was today. And, based on the way he'd sauntered out of the distant shadows, allowing the dim light in the entry to illuminate him, it was leaning toward the former.

The brim of his worn hat concealed his features from the light, yet there was a subtle sort of glow to those fixated eyes of his. A near-clear view of the wolfish grin that stretched his skin and scrunched his nose.

"I would ask what pleasure I owed, but something…" his voice trails as he steps closer, leering at Ilona, "Something tells me it would be a wasted attempt at conversation. What could possibly have your petals so ruffled, buttercup?"

He knew. She knew that he knew. And yet, he pressed. Instigated. Ilona sighed and waved off the idea of giving him fuel. Of airing her grievances. 'It's because I'm stuck here. With you of all people.'

"It's not important, Karl." But there was no harm in a little nudge. A subtle jab that would get just far enough under his skin to keep things calm enough for the time being. Just far enough to cause his lips to curl and teeth to bare. Still, he did well to conceal the bitter feeling at being referred to so… personally.

"Oh, I'm sure it isn't. Surely it's nothing, if that pout of yours is anything to judge by. Or the little furrow of your brows." It seems he, too, is returning the nudge. Both in the metaphorical sense, and in the literal, especially as a gloved finger comes to roughly jab at Ilona's shoulder before he draws back.

It brings a more prominent scowl to the woman's features as she sighs, head shaking as she looks around for something—anything—else to preoccupy herself with amidst the mess. Piles of unsorted scrap are all that await her, and the prospect of scraping her hands against the rough metal isn't exactly appealing. So, instead, she simply pretends Heisenberg isn't there. Walks past him to, with some hesitation etching into her muscles, find a different area to plant herself in. Perhaps somewhere with a piece of proper furniture. With something less grimy to entertain her as the moon traverses the night sky and leads the sun along with it. It'd be too much to ask for a corner of the factory without Heisenberg, or his influence, especially as he trails along behind her, but at this point taking her chances with (another) Soldat would be preferable to the grating voice and smug laughter. Thankfully for both of them, much as neither would admit it, it doesn't come to that. Rather, through some rather subtle corralling on Heisenberg's part, the duo has found themselves in his personal alcove. Amidst the messy workbenches, scattered papers, and a rather intriguing wall of connections between the ragtag group. Red strings illuminating the relationships between their fucked up little family. Stiffened pieces of scrap that appear to have been thrown, and with quite some force, to decorate the spaces around Miranda's portrait. And, amidst the others, a smaller portrait of hers. A recognition that she was, willingly or otherwise, an important part of the dynamic. One that sat unmarked, highlighted by an uncertain air.

Friend, or foe? Ally, or enemy? To spare, or to tear down with the rest of them all? In a way, there was almost reassurance in that hesitation exhibited by Heisenberg. Something about the fact these waxing and waning feelings were, in a way, mutual. An intriguing series of questions echoed in her head as she'd stepped over to unpin her visage from the board. To allow her fingers to trace the weathered edges of the film as the candlelight found them. Heisenberg watched, biting his tongue for once and simply opting to bring himself back to organizing the remnants of his current project.

"So you do like me?" A tease, highlighted with an essence of genuine curiosity.

"Alive, perhaps. Jury's still out on if it goes any further, or if that's where the answer stays." Too, a tease, though there was a lingering bitterness in his voice. A seriousness that betrayed him. As it stood, he had no idea whose side she would fall on. And, albeit deep, deep down, that lack of clarity made him uneasy. Still, he did well to mask it, turning to lean with his back against the workbench, wrench twirling between gloved fingers. "For now, I suppose I could say yes."

Ilona's arms fold across her chest. "It never is quite a straight answer with you, is it?"

"Of course not. How else do you expect I keep everyone on their toes?" That wolfish grin of his spreads across his features once more, his own arms mimicking the movement of hers. "Especially now. With so many hours to kill. You wouldn't want things to be boring, would you?"

"I'd almost prefer it." Still, there's a subtle shift in her tone that betrays the minute enjoyment she receives from their bickering. A hint of potential for missing it, should things lead them astray from one another's path. "Fine, keep me on my toes all you'd like. Just don't be surprised if it grows tired. After all, not everyone is as devoid of basic manners as you are."

"So you've said, and so I continue to ignore."

Neither would expect any less from him. From one another. And as the hours passed, it remained just as so. Ilona attempting to mind her business while perusing the various work-in-progress projects scattered about. Karl finding himself particularly itchy with the urge to bother her, remind her how unfortunate the circumstances were to be stuck within his domain. A few back and forths. A few nudges and prods. Little things that ultimately left the two ever envigorated as the sun rose and the woodlands cleared, allowing for Ilona to return herself to the Village.

And for once, the two had parted on fairly decent terms. How long that lasted, only time would tell.

#txt #my fics #resident evil #karl heisenberg #ilona melnyk #heisenberg x oc #pheedraws #mybloodyvalentinesday24

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alsoanyways · 2 days

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@transgender-scout @1ight wait fuck now i have to compile them okay okay okay i have a feeling this is gonna get long so I'm gonna put it under a cut haha but for real thank you for asking!!

First things first! This is how I imagine the flock is able to disguise themselves. There's no going undercover at an actual school for them, but I don't think anyone's looking twice at a bulky coat, especially if it's set in the future. Not too far in the future though, still in the 21st century. I have no ideas for a plot restructuring or anything, I never read past Nevermore and I barely remember anything past the fourth book, so most of my headcanons are character dynamics and such. I do have some that aren't focused on the flock but not many. Anyways.

(also idk if most of this can even be considered headcanon bc its basically fanfic at this point)

A couple things I should've added to the design post are Toto's Total’s nonexistence (I'm sorry if you like him but I do not lmao) and the fact that their hair is feathers. Like those very fine and very long feathers that roosters get. The flock also doesn't develop superpowers.

In my version of things, there's a small town close-ish to the E shaped house. Far enough that no one in town is gonna drop by for a visit, but close enough to fly down to for some groceries, which they'd do after Jeb left and until the money was gone. I think he would've taught them how to forage for things and that's how they get by since then.

Max (21) isn't The Leader TM either, I think leadership is shared more with Fang/Friday and Iggy. She likes volleyball and usually the one to go foraging. She's never thought about it but if she did, she'd probably consider herself agender.

Fang/Friday (22) gets his name from a Friday the 13th DVD cover, Jeb thinks he wants to be called Jason when he first points to it. He used to help Nudge/Dora and Angel with their hair when they were little and still does occasionally. He likes to draw and he's the go-to when someone needs to be comforted. There's no way in hell I would let him be anything less than bisexual.

Iggy (20) is the one that probably hears Friday's voice the most. He was also taught braille and Jeb got them a labeling machine. He's still the best cook and he's very protective over the vinyls/tapes/cds in the house. He mourns the loss of them when they have to flee the house, but he is excited to finally have access to new music. He's also gay. Because I said so.

Nudge/Dora (17) still wishes she could live a normal life, but has accepted that it's just not a possibility. She clings to "Dorothy" when she learns it. Being talkative and into fashion are still part of her character, but now she also loves bugs. She tags along when Max goes foraging so she can try and get pictures of any new bugs she hasn't seen before. Friday often gets to hear which bugs and what they were doing when they're sketching together.

Gazzy/Gizmo (14) gets his name when he watches the Gremlins movie for two months straight and starts mimicking the mogwai noises. He almost kills everyone when he mixes a couple cleaners from under the kitchen sink. He's quickly enamored with the chemistry books he's given afterwards. Like any other teenage boy, he likes video games and has too much energy for his own good. Max offers to race him when he's particularly amped.

Angel (11) is the only one out of the group that wasn't experimented on and she doesn't get the protectiveness or why they never go anywhere. She likes sitcoms and never refuses an offer to forage with Max. She also took a liking to helping Iggy cook things. She was very quick to tell people she wasn't a boy once she had the vocabulary.

Ari (15) has chronic pain. Being turned to goo and rebuilt into something different will do that to you. It doesn't get better the second time. Nor the third. He used to live in the E shaped house, before Jeb brought Gizmo, back when he was a regular kid. He's always liked animals, caring for them. He wanted to be a farmer or something when he grew up. After he joins the flock, he and Gizmo are fast friends. (Watching him and Gizmo dick around is what makes Friday realize that he really is just a kid.)

Maya/Em (21, kinda) my identity issues queen!! Cloning keeps the original memories intact and then they were further messed with to ensure her allegiance. She has a hard time coming to terms with that, with not being Max, not being who she thought she was. Her friends aren't her friends, she didn't watch Gizmo and Angel grow up, she didn't go to Friday after another nightmare, or call Dora to come catch a spider. That wasn't her. Having time away from them before she joins the flock helps. She renames herself Em during that time, distinct enough from Max but not removed from it completely. She learns that she likes cooking and she discovers cheerleading. She thinks she'd like that if she got the chance to participate. She's also aroace. She wants nothing to do with any of that.

Dylan (21) sticks closest to Em, but he eventually grows close to Iggy as well. They share a soaring/gliding wing shape and Iggy is grateful to have someone who can fly as long as he can (recreational flying is always cut short in his opinion, because the others have to work harder to stay airborne and get tired). Dylan likes to tinker around with motors and mechanisms, trying to get them to work again or building them from the ground up. Not that he has an abundance of opportunities to do that, but being able to fix a busted car comes in handy. He's one of them gays that can drive.

Lastly, I do have ideas on Erasers and different classes of them and their usages but jesus christ this did in fact get very long and I need to go eat something lmao so that'll have to be a separate post for another time.

#maximum ride #the last media i have consumed of this book series #was the manga #and like a quarter of a five hour recap video of the plot #and i would like to keep it that way lmao #i only want nostalgia brain maximum ride

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featherglum · 9 months

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Silly transformers ocs that came to me in a dream (except I heavily altered the designs and lore from the original vision)

In the dream, I was browsing a website similar to artfight and saw a transformers oc named Priest ( @sonia-aquamarineson 's oc Gusty was on there too, but he was called Herring. This has no bearing on the rest of the lore, it was just funny). Priest's original design was a bit different from the current one and looked more like this:

(Made with this picrew and edited a bit to be more accurate. I didn't draw him because I wanted to get his design down ASAP before forgetting everything + I wasn't very confident in drawing tf characters yet.)

His lore was very inconsistent. A picture on his page implied that his alt mode was a speaker, but the first line of his description said it was a set of silverware. But that was contradicted too at the end where it said he was "a book with pages as brittle as his trust". There was also a mention of how someone cursed him and since then he just stayed at home.

There were also these 3 pictures that were, (allegedly) related to his backstory:

(Some nun looking with disapproval, Priest's human version looking sad or scared and finally, a weird Christmas tree with a face [what])

So yeah. Priest's backstory was pretty nonsensical, but thankfully after sharing the dream with Sonia (because Gusty was there briefly) we were both so normal about the guy that we decided to make his lore make sense.

Basically:

Pine was a cringefail scientist fed up with having his lab at some abandoned, rusty old base next to a junkyard in the middle of nowhere and wanted the other cons to finally respect him. So when his inventions weren't impressive enough, he had a different plan

He was going to kidnap some autobot and then contact their friends with a typical "grr hand over the secret info or your friend will die >:-[" message. But here's the twist! Before that, he would put a bomb inside the bot's chassis, which would activate when they leave the base. So even if the friends showed up to heroically rescue their bestie, they would still die anyway! Yippee!!

He managed to catch an unsuspecting bot, which happened to be Priest, and all seemed to be going well...

.. Until it turned out Priest was about as respected by the autobots as Pine was by the decepticons. When contacted, Priest's acquaintances couldn't care less about him possibly dying. They didn't seem too keen on heroically rescuing him, but didn't hand over the information Pine wanted, either.

Pine wasn't sure what to do. Sure, the bomb was already there, just waiting to be detonated. But on the other hand... was it really worth it? What's the point of this kind of murder when no one is watching?! When there's no one the lament the loss of their loved one?! And as much as he hated to admit it, he felt some sympathy for Priest, who was as much of a loser as he was.

Pine was like "ok, kidnapping's over, your murder is cancelled. Lemme take that bomb out of your chassis real quick. Then you can go wherever you want and forget this ever happened. Sorry for wasting your time". And yeah he took that bomb out but there was another problem.

Priest didn't really have anywhere to go and didn't want to come back to the autobots, considering how little they cared about him.

And so, he ended up staying with Pine and joining the decepticons (which had little to do with the actual ideology and more with wanting their partnership to look less suspicious). Priest spends his days helping Pine with his inventions and digging through the junkyard for any interesting devices he could use as an alt mode (since there isn't much else to do there, really). As such, he changes his alt mode very often and it's a bit hard to keep up with sometimes. However, one form he often comes back to is an arcade machine (which is the design pictured in his ref!)

Also don't ask how an arcade machine ended up in space. This is a ridiculous little story about a pathetic pine tree robot and and a guy named Priest. And it was based on a dream. Weirdness is unavoidable here.

Oh that was long. If you're still reading say. Uh. Idk just say something.

And shoutout to @sonia-aquamarineson yet again for helping me figure out the lore and her contributions to Pine's design!!

If anyone has questions about them, my asks are always open

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bikwin5 · 6 months

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"ELLY'S ADVENTURE" notes and retrospective

It's been almost a month since I released "ELLY'S ADVENTURE," my first finished game in quite a while. I kind of dropped it without any context so I want to talk about it a bit. This is going to be a long post.

If you haven't played it then GO DO THAT CLICK ON THIS NOW!!!!! Just now I uploaded a recent 1.2 version that fixes a couple more bugs. I highly recommend you read this after at least beating the main game.

THE ORIGINAL

The first thing I want to reveal about Elly's is that the characters and setting did not begin with this project. How scandalous!!! They were actually conceived for a different project that I started thinking of as early as the end of 2015. This was also a game maker project, but it was much larger in scope than what Elly's Adventure became. It was going to be a "METROID MANIA" type game that many indie devs love to make.

The characters themselves didn't change that much in terms of roles. Elly was still the protagonist with Natalie as a supporting role, and I even had the idea of a hard mode where you play as Natalie back then. The plot was that there was like a magical item that got stolen and Elly and Natalie accidentally end up in a situation where they get recruited by the military and sent to take it back from a factory being used as a front for a base of very evil operations. The tone was still kind of funny but a little more serious than Elly's Adventure.

These are the earliest digital drawings of Elly and Natalie from 2015 and they look like FUCKING DOGSHIT!!!!!! SOmehow worse than I remember. I'm glad I learned to draw a bit better if nothing else.

Chandra was also a part of this project but she was not the main villain, rather she would have been the main henchman you fight multiple times throughout the course of the game, getting new attacks each time. She was to work under a character who I called MINERVA, THE CYBER-QUEEN who was to be the main antagonist. Chandra was more of a funny character who displayed moments of incompetence while the Cyber-Queen was more serious. I never really settled on a finalized design for the queen and I didn't even really like her that much in retrospect so Chandra ended up being the main antagonist of Elly's Adventure due to its more lighthearted nature. The enemies were also always meant to be weird round robots with green eyes, and I reused some designs for Elly's Adventure.

Old sprite sheets of Elly and the enemies. Was never really satisfied with Elly's animations.

Yulie was also part of the original project but she was to not make any physical appearances. Rather she was to give hints and bits of lore from pieces of her writing you would find around the factory, from a time when she worked there and slowly discovered that something sinister was going on. Surprisingly Yulie was never actually intended to be Elly's mom from the start until I started thinking of her being a support character in Elly's Adventure and I was like wait why should she be helping these kids... well her and elly both have blonde hair so she's her mom now LOL

This project never had a proper name, I think I also considered calling it Elly's Adventure but I didn't want to exclude Natalie from it so I was thinking of names like "Sky Diamonds" but it doesn't take place in the sky so that's stupid. I got as far as laying out the whole game and getting basic controls and some of the opening area down but that was about it. Truthfully I was never really satisfied with how it controlled or the art direction I was going with and making a metroid type game that lasted several hours felt so daunting I didn't really want to work on it anymore after a point.

Here are some old gifs of what it looked like. The main gameplay idea was that Elly was going to have a propulsion as a double jump that could be upgraded, sort of like the booster 2.0 from Cave Story. That idea ended up working its way into Adventure as a powerup. There was to be other mechanics like shot upgrades and secondary items that would do fun things but I never got around to that.

THE INSPIRATIONS

Now that I've spent long enough talking about Elly origins I can get to the actual game that, if you are reading this, most likely played. While it uses the same characters and setting as the last project, Elly's Adventure has a much smaller scope and style of gameplay. I am not a huge fan of the word "inspiration" something about it pisses me off. But with everything there was stuff that Elly's was inspired by.

First off only the most keen of observers may have realized that Elly's Adventure very much emulates the look and feel of titles played on a certain handheld system. It is the GAME BOY and it's one of the greatest things ever made. It has TI-84 ass graphics and sold a hundred million. I think the Game Boy might be the most rudimentary electronic game device to ever be so popular and I love it for that.

What's really ironic is that I actually did not have a Game Boy growing up YES that's right my first system was the Game Boy Advance. I know it's backwards compatible but I didn't know that as a kid and the only way I knew about games was either seeing them directly in the store or the sears catalog. And I loved Yoshi so much that I wanted a GBA specifically for the Super Mario Advance games with Yoshi in them. I enjoyed my Yoshi's Island port very much. So any original Game Boy title I've played I was either a teen or older since that was when I discovered the magic of emulation.

Anyway this is getting too anecdotal so I should start talking about the specific games that actually did inspire Elly's: Mole Mania and Link's Awakening.

MOLE MANIA is a puzzle game released by Nintendo in 1996. No one bought it because the Game Boy was dying and Pokemon had yet to breathe life into it again. People like to call it "Miyamoto's forgotten masterpiece" and then not say anything else about it. But it is legitimately a very good puzzle game that manages to do so much with so little and it's surprisingly difficult too. Each level is a series of one screen puzzles where the mole has to get the big ball into the goal, like this:

I got this from a youtude video so it has the cool Super Game Boy border. Anyway Muddy Mole can go underground to get to places and push and pull the ball around and all sorts of stuff. It's all designed in a very competent and concise way and I love everything about it except for the bonus stages and final boss. It feels unique among Nintendo games because it feels like they almost never do pure puzzle games that aren't some sort of falling block variant.

Of course Elly's is not a puzzle game so you might be wondering why I'm even bringing this one up. I felt compelled enough by the concise puzzle design that I wanted to make a Game Boy styled thing myself, something that I was considering for a while. I thought the idea of moving from screen to screen and clearing everything out would be fun. So I ended up digging up the handful of characters I had hardly thought about in years and set out to make a game with them.

Funny enough, even back in the day I was considering making a Game Boy styled game with Elly as a sidescroller. The idea was that it would have been a primer before jumping into a big game. It would have been something really short, like only 20 minutes, and the only characters would have been Elly and the Queen. But I didn't really get into it, not even writing down any ideas. So I suppose I was itching to do something with the GB style all along.

LINK'S AWAKENING is a much less obscure Game Boy game, and is probably the most well cherished GB title ever that isn't Pokemon. I went and played it shortly after Mole Mania because I wanted ideas for Elly, which was to be a small funny game of action. It wasn't purely for research, I just realized it was one of the few Zelda titles I hadn't played yet and I figured now would be a good time.

Of course it's a very good game. It uses the Game Boy's capabilities to its fullest and the color version enhances it even more. The overworld is made to feel bigger than it really is and the dungeons are honestly a lot more elegant that what Link to the Past had to offer. But mainly the thing I took away from this was level design stuff that could translate to Elly's well. I think STAGE 10 with the waterfalls was a good example of stuff I took away from this. A lot of the background graphics were also inspired by Zelda, such as the cliffs and castle walls.

did you know between DX and the remake its impossible to find any good screenshots of the original GB link's awakening... anyway just imagine this screenshot in monochrome and that's pretty much everything the desert stages were referenced from.

The Kirby series ended up being another source of inspiration, despite not taking many gameplay influences but rather style influences. Kirby is a funny little guy with awesome power and Elly could be considered similar, maybe even a ripoff if you think about it. I took a lot of ideas from the GB games in particular but moreso the spinoffs than anything. I think Kirby's Block Ball is a neat little title that's probably the best you can get with Game Boy breakout. Stuff like the structure of the game and the concept of an Extra Game were also taken from Kirby.

There are a couple of other minor GB titles that served as inspiration. Painter Momopie is a Japan-exclusive game about a little witch that has to paint floors. It's not an amazing game but it's cute and small. Elly's sprite, which was the first thing I drew for the game, was in fact based off of Momopie, and that's how I set the graphical style in motion.

There's also a game called Out of Gas which has these full screen cutscenes with fucked up looking people in it, which I tweeted about once.

I don't remember how I found out about it. This pic stands out to me a lot because there is not a single other game on the Game Boy that looks like this. This was dated May 10th and the notepad file where I started writing ideas for Elly's Adventure was also May 10th. So it's very much possible that this somehow ended up pushing me to make the entire game LOL

Moving on to Elly's Adventure

As implied by the last section Elly's Adventure started development around May of last year. This was probably my fastest turnaround from concept to development ever for a game idea. Somehow I still have the first things I wrote in the notepad file here unchanged:

There is a LOT more to the file than this but also I want to show that my process of making big projects is stupid as shit. Just take a big notepad file and start putting things in it until it gets so big I have to make a separate one. It's not the best but it works for a one person team.

You might also notice I intended the game to be about 30 minutes long, which did not happen as now it's more than twice that length. This is something called "scope creep" and it happens with every video game ever made by an ambitious indie dev. Honestly not sure how I intended "20-25 stages" to only take 30 minutes. Regardless scoping as small as I did I expected this project to take maybe a year and it ended up only taking a year and five months!!!!! I probably could have done it sooner if other projects and real life things like moving didn't get in the way.

Regardless it was relatively smooth to get Elly's Adventure off the ground. Since earlier last year I was already playing around with making a prototype of a different top down game that was puzzle based (don't count on me picking it up again) it wasn't too hard to do something similar on a smaller screen size, with already existing characters. I had some ideas that I scrapped early on like a score counter and a timer and decided to make Elly's a simple action game where you are simply focused on destroying everything you see.

This video is the earliest footage of Elly's after only a couple of weeks. The music was added by me, it wasn't in the game yet.

There's only one other bit of gameplay that's different than usual and that's the bonus stages, those were added fairly late in devlopment. I had the idea because I realized that a handful of Yulie locations was a pretty slow way of gaining 1ups by itself. I kind of forget they're in the game until I play it myself.

Truthfully I made Elly's as small as I did because I really did want to have a whole game out there that felt complete and polished. My Kirby games of the past might be funny but they're derivative works and VERY unpolished. With Elly's I wanted to give myself as much time as possible to refine a smaller game and I think based on reception it turned out alright.

THE DEVELOPMENT

Elly's Adventure was made in Game Maker Studio 2, a platform that I used because I had prior experience. Is it the best platform for making games? Honestly not sure. It's ok but it's obviously built off of an old codebase, much to its detriment. But I think Game Maker is very good at making 2D games that you can compartmentalize into a series of rooms, and Elly's was perfect for that. So I ended up doing that instead of learning GB studio or something because I didn't want to deal with actual GB limitations.

The development timeline of Elly's Adventure I ended up splitting into three phases. The first phase was to send the game to a couple of friends in secret and see what they think, purely as a proof of concept. The only feedback I was looking for was confirmation it was a good idea for a game. This was about three months in development and it had stages 1-10 without the stage 10 boss or the bonus stages, something I hadn't even conceived of yet. I got enough feedback that I knew I wanted to continue with the project.

The second phase was the longest, spanning like nine more months. This was the bulk of creating the game's content, as well as stuff like me moving that got in the way. I was more open about the game at the end of this phase and I sent it to a number of friends who are listed as "Generous Playtesters" in the credits. Special thanks to them, again, for doing this. I had more people than I expected willing to give me feedback for free. It took them a while, I think because I ended up sending it out the same time that fucking Zelda came out.

The "demo" I sent out was in fact the full game in a less polished state. All 20 stages, the intro and ending, and even a less refined options menu was all in. I did this because I really wanted the whole game to be polished as much as possible, especially since the last big game I put out (PEKSCTG2) was a hellscape tested only by me. Most reception was actually pretty positive and I think the thing I ended up changing the most apart from bug fixes were the bosses. I think all of them had a bit of rework to adjust their difficulty. This build actually did not include the Extra Game you get from finishing the main story, so all those stages actually are an untested hellscape. Have fun!

The third phase went from May to now, taking longer than I expected. Pikmin 4 coming out in that time didn't help either. When making the extra game it turns out making 20 harder versions of the existing stages takes a while!!! It was that + refining pretty much everything else and getting it ready for release. Speaking of level design here is a little snippet of the MS Paint type stuff I did for that:

Later I would put the actual sprites in instead of these shitty placeholders. Note that some rooms are not the same as they are in the finished game, I made some changes on the fly. That's kind of a fun thing of working by yourself, you don't have to like tell a separate design person to do something if you want changes.

Sometimes I see sentiment that making a project is easiest at the start and really hard in the middle but for me it's the opposite, at least with game dev. Getting something off the ground beyond just an idea is hard but making the content is honestly pretty smooth sailing. Then you have the end where the last bit of the game is most of the work. It's a bit painful having to comb through such a big project multiple times to make sure everything is there and running. Despite this project taking way longer than expected I'm still glad to finally get something done and out there.

THE GWAPHICS

If there is something between 2015 and now I have done a lot it's drawing. I'm not exactly an accomplished artist but I think a lot of my stuff has improved in past years. Or at least that's what they say. Taste is subjective after all.

However I didn't do very much pixel art for a while. Especially not anything with a palette as limited as the Game Boy. So making all the graphics for Elly's was something of an exercise in trying to figure out how this pixle art shit works all over again.

Almost everything in Elly's is drawn by me. A few images are actual things shrunken and convered to 4 colors but otherwise it's all me. And as it turns out drawing all the assets for you own game takes a long freakin time even when they're this simple!!!! While no one sprite took very long apart from bigger ones like bosses it all adds up to a lot of hours.

Not all of those hours are on Elly's but still. I think doing the tilesets took up a lot of time, in particular the playroom area because I was insistent on including a bunch of funny easter eggs and references. I can't explain all of them here because it would take much too long, but let it be known that this thing before the third boss is called "The Fumpship" and has like 3 layers of inside joke to it.

As for the character designs they were simple enough that transcribing them into Game Boy sprite form was actually pretty simple. Elly and Natalie in particular I had to remove the symbols on their clothes since it wouldn't translate in sprites.

You already saw this at the start of the post. These are character sketches I did around the start of development. Note that Natalie's outfit color is different, later I made it lighter to make her more distinguishable from Elly in-game. There are very few "concept art" things for Elly's, most of it I started with doing the sprites.

As for the enemy sprites since the ones I already had (see sprite sheet 10 pages above) already worked pretty well in this setting so I used that as a base for other enemies. The "Big Boy" enemies in particular took a while to figure out their sprites but I do like how they turned out. My favourite enemies are the exploding dolls, so much that I even used them as the game's icon.

THE COADS

This section is very technical and vague so you can skip it if you want. I'm something of a programmer... I think. I don't talk about it that much. A lot of what I know is not exactly suited for game dev BUT I did have a lot of residual Game Maker Language knowledge from my past projects. And there was a lot to learn too, since this was my first time using GMS2 in particular.

Truthfully since Elly's is kind of simple there wasn't THAT much that was that difficult programming-wise... I think the hardest shit for me is doing collisions and stuff. Collisions for Elly weren't too bad but for certain enemies like the grinders it was a pain in the ASS!!!!! That's why getting any game off the ground is hard for me, trying to make the groundwork for everything is daunting because I'll worry if it's good enough to accomodate the rest of development.

I think a lot of the challenge was not from getting things to work but rather having everything neat and organized. When you're making a game there is a lot of stuff to keep track of and even sometimes with the way I organized things I get lost in the game maker asset browser. I also made sure to comment things a lot... If you ever decompile the game i'm sorry if my comments are weird and embarassing.

The reason why I'm even bringing this aspect up is because in my past projects, particularly Pik's Epic Kirby Sprite Comics 2 I didn't know SHIT about programming nicely or efficiently and a lot of it was brute force via if statements. I did not want that!!! So with Elly's I made it so that adding new things like powerups and enemies was as easy as possible and I think that ended up making the project bearable.

This was also my first time making certain things like an options menu which was kind of strange and daunting as Game Maker does not have anything build in for menus. You just kind of have to do it from scratch. I was really insistent on having remappable controls in particular because I feel like that's essential for PC games these days. Also I enjoyed making the map system a lot, which was something I only added late in development. It uses a very hacky method of finding hard-coded arrays for each stage and drawing boxes for them but it works.

THE BOSSES

I think bosses in video games are a very novel thing on how inefficient they are for such a capital-driven industry. You have these things that take up a lot of effort and development time and are usually a small part of gameplay but they get made anyway because they look cool and also maybe you can use them as marketing or something. Maybe "boss fights" can be viewed as a disruption of power making its way into the hands of the workers? Ok I'm just talking out of my ass here.

There are not a lot of bosses in Elly's and they don't last very long but I wanted to discuss them anyway because there are some fun things to say about them. The first thing is that I wasn't even sure if Elly's was going to have more than one boss at first. Then I came up with the idea for the first boss (Death Orb) and started getting ideas from there. Fun fact, the Death Orb is named and modeled after the enemy (obstacle?) from Warframe:

I honestly thought it was really obvious but no one, not even my Warframe-playing friends seemed to notice. Anyway I just wanted a very simple boss that doesn't move with one attack. For a long time it didn't have the beeping sounds that telegraph its moves and therefore was very difficult to avoid the second phase without getting hit at least once! It was a bit bulb shit once I realized so I did that.

The second boss is a fish and funny enough, the only surviving boss idea from the original project. The major bosses were planned to be massive weapons named "______ Guardian" and the fish is loosely based off of an underwater boss idea I had back then. Of course the current day Water Guardian fight is not anything like that, and instead likes to flop around. Fun fact, the boss was a lighter grey color for most of development until I decided to make it dark so the weak point was more visible. I also changed the second phase movement late in development so it would flop less, making the grenade powerup feel more useful against it. The way it acts in Extra Game is a lot closer to how it originally was.

The third boss is a hat and is largely based off of "WIZ" from Kirby and the Amazing Mirror. Wiz is just a clone of Paint Roller from Kirby's Adventure but I thought the design was neat enough I even based the intro animation off of it. I also really wanted to tie into the toy theme and the doll enemies so I figured why not a funny magician doll? This boss used to always spawn in the middle after a cycle but then people would spawncamp it so I made it appear in multiple spots instead.

^^^WIZ

The Pillar Knight boss is honestly not that hard for how late it is in the game but I made it to just be a surprise at the end of a boss rush. I don't have that much to say about it really, I based the name and greatshield off of the Tower Knight from Demon's Souls. The big stomp it does in the second phase used to summon a single bouncy and nothing else but that was kind of pathetic so I changed it to falling rubble instead.

The "Antlion" final boss was actually a boss idea I had early on, possibly for the second or third worlds. It's kind of similar to the "head and hands" type bosses you see in so many Nintendo games. It was moreso going to be based off of the "Giant Enemy Spider" from Jerma's car game video. Then I figured that having the biggest boss for last would be a good idea. Funny enough this was the boss I received the least feedback on, most people seemed to like it. It was also a bit of a pain to test because I had to ensure that all 5 powerups would be viable, but I'm pretty satisfied with the end result. The second phase where Chandra shows up in a pod is very much based off of Eggman fights from Sonic, I'm sure you can tell. Something about seeing a little round flying thing is very satisfying.

THE SOUNDS

The sounds and music in Elly's are not mine. It's why I released it for free on itch instead of bothing to publish it on Steam or anything. Why am I even writing about this? I think that there is some fun to be had from digging through existing sound or music libraries and picking the best ones.

The style of Elly's is very upbeat happy scrimblo type game as you can tell, so I went out of my way to pick songs that fit that. The first levels having Mole Mania's first world music is pretty emblematic of what I wanted. I wanted to pick songs that were not necessarily obscure but not too well known so I made an effort specifically to avoid Mario, Zelda, Pokemon. Then I broke the rule because I liked the Link's Awakening nightmare battle enough and that's not exactly a super recognizable iconic song. I think the style of the music is not always consistent, as you can tell with the Belmont's Revenge music in later levels, but I tried to keep to songs that I felt fit the game well enough.

The sounds were taken from various Kirby games mostly because those are the easiest to rip, as those games have individual sound tests. With everything being kind of Kirby inspired I also thought it was the best decision. I think if maybe I were to ever do a Steam release I would hire some bastard to do a GB soundtrack and play around with making sounds myself but I DIDNT FEEL LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE LAST PART

There is so much more I could say about the old project and the finer details of development but I think this post is already long enough.

Elly's is not something that I think is ever going to go viral. It did get more attention than I expected for the first few days but it's petered out by now. Elly's is not meant to be anything groundbreaking or revolutionary. It's not going to turn heads all over the world. It's not going to make me the new Tony Box and that's OK. I wanted Elly's to evoke the sort of feeling of finding a weird cartridge in a Gamestop bargain bin of the past or maybe a thrift store of the present. The feeling of digging through an archive of every Game Boy ROM ever and finding something refreshingly decent after playing 10 crunchy janky sidescrollers in a row.

QUICK LAST MINUTE EDIT: Apparently Elly's Adventure was featured on a Hungarian news site??? Not what I expected but I'm still honored to be mentioned by a publication.

I don't really know what's next for game dev from me. I am not interested in breaking into the industry, I just do this for fun. I've considered doing more things with Elly, which may or may not be in the same style. I've also considered ideas with other characters, and even using things that aren't Game Maker. Maybe in another 8 years there will be something. Keep an eye out!

Overall I am satisfied with Elly's Adventure. I mostly enjoyed making it. I don't know if I would call it my magnum opus. It doesn't have the same sort of unfiltered eccentricity of my Kirby things and it's hardly character or story driven enough to leave much of a lasting discussion. To be honest I liked making a game with no dialogue because in the cases where I do have a more character driven game idea I think about the funny dialogue more than I do the actual game. Regardless I think we can all agree that Elly's Adventure is, and always will be, a small funny game of action.

if you bothered to scroll to the end of this post here is a FUN GAME TIP: on stage 1 from the starting position go one screen right and investigate the rightmost flower on that screen. this can be helpful for those wishing to see the 1CC screen.

#gamedev #elly's adventure

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sskklvr · 8 months

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WAIT DID ANYONE EVER ASK U ABOUT UR YURI ON ICE AU COS IF NOT PLS SPILL I LOVE SSKK AND YOI AND I SHOWED UR DRAWING TO MY BESTIE COS I WAS SO EXCITED I NEED TO KNOW MORE!!!!

AHHGHF SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, THE YOI AU IS A BIG INCOHERENT MESS SO I STRUGGLED TO PUT IT INTO WORDS <//3

THIS IS ALSO SUCH A LONG REPLY BC I JUST. RAMBLE. I AM SO SORRY IF THIS MAKES NO SENSE, IT IS ABSOLUTELY ALL OVER THE PLACE-

Okay! So I really really love the AU, but sadly there's no cohesive plot to follow if we're gonna be honest- I have a few points, like the banquet I changed up, and Akutagawa's appearance as Atsushi's coach is also changed, but other than that I really just have this to draw connections and put sskk in silly little YoI scenarios </3

I tried real hard to match BSD characters to YoI but it was just not working for me [I've been messing with this AU for like, a year after all] Even deciding between Akutagawa and Atsushi as who would be Viktor and Yuuri was a bit complicated, bc I personally think it has potential either way. The obvious, and generally more fitting choice is the one I went with ofc, but I think a version where Atsushi is Akutagawa's coach would be just as interesting!

Anyway, despite being mostly just for kicks, I still tried to put thought into it!

With how Yuuri was constantly surprising and surpassing Viktor's expectations, I figured Akutagawa's ability to surprise Atsushi with his actions would work well. [Also because I think the scene in the parking lot where Viktor tells Yuuri he'll resign as his coach if he doesn't make it to the podium is very reminiscent of the scene in s3 with the imagery of Akutagawa shattering from Atsushi's reckless words-] But again, Akutagawa as Viktor works just as well since Yuuri says in the very first episode that Viktor never ceased to surprise him, if we're going that route. As well as the fact that both sskk and Viktuuri learn from each other throughout their respective journeys together.

Like Atsushi's 2 costumes being based around his ADA design/The Tiger, and Beast, or Akutagawa having a lighter coat/his overall main design being a lot brighter to symbolize the change from yk, the Mafia in canon. I also threw in the Ch88 themed look for Akutagawa's younger version because I wanted to draw Akutagawa with longer hair, but the design itself is supposed to symbolize a sort of 'end' to his skating. Since Viktor begins to lose inspiration further down the line until meeting Yuuri, that's what I'm trying to implement with the design. If that makes any sense-

Since Akutagawa in canon had been searching for worthy opponents as a way to gain Dazai's approval, when he finally met his match against Atsushi he was practically thrilled [for lack of better words/to put it simply--] So I'm taking that idea and throwing it into this AU as Akutagawa gaining back his passion for skating when he sees the potential in Atsushi even despite his loss at the GPF. Speaking of, the banquet also goes a bit differently-

I figured stripping and pole dancing wasn't really Atsushi's style, I don't know how to explain it so I might doodle it sometime, but I have this old ass screenshot of me talking about this AU to mildly sum it up

And going back to Atsushi's 1st costume being ADA themed, I wanted that to tie into Yuuri's first program being about his career and life, and the love he has for the people who stuck by him through everything. The ADA is kind of a perfect example for that, I mean, Atsushi's entire uniform was given to him by each member so I figured it was a perfect parallel. Although there really isn't a tie between the Beast costume and Yuuri's Eros program though- That was just for fun, in a way.

I also definitely want the ADA itself to act as the hot springs that Yuuri's family runs, but I can't figure out which characters would be which person- I'm ALL ears for any suggestions for that btw, I literally only have sskk decided, everyone else is a toss up-

Ahg, there's so much more I'm forgetting, I'm sure, but I wanted to answer this somehow bc I've been dying to get out my thoughts for this AU

Anyway, thank you for the ask! And I'm sorry my response was super late and a full length essay- If there's any specific questions or curiosity, I'll do my best to answer </3

#this is peak keyramblings for sure #bsd #bungou stray dogs #sskk #shin soukoku #yuri on ice #keyramblings #the least fleshed out AU I have and I can still talk for probably hours about it- 😭

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armpirate · 7 months

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UNDER HIS SKIN || JJK || Ch. 34

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: They say there are two versions for every story, and it's important to hear both of them. Everybody is hearing your side of the story, but it's just fair to get to know his.

After breaking up with his girlfriend, the only thing he wanted was to have fun with no attachment. You wanted to get rid of your virginity, and he wanted to tick you off his list. What he didn't expect was getting so emotionally attached to you that he would regret the deal.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Aprox. time of reading: 10 minutes

After two weeks of being exclusive, I'm convinced I'm daydreaming and nothing of this is real. I can't believe I'm this lucky to have been chosen to be next to her after everything that's happened between us. And every day I spend with Y/n, I'm more convinced I'm trapped and never supposed to leave her side. I'm falling deep for every gesture. My heart races whenever she looks at me, and I'm aware that I'm the only one in her mind. She's quite hard to get to, she won't open up easily -and she definitely won't speak up her feelings so easily-, but her actions prove more than anything else, something so simple such as knowing me so well to be able to tell when I'm down just by the sound of my voice, and taking the time to come to my place just to cheer me up.

—Earth calling Jungkook? —someone calls me out.

When I look up, I see Mark crossing his arms over his chest while supporting the weight of his body against the door frame.

—What do you want?

—Oh, finally you speak —he steps inside the studio—. I thought I'd have to start thinking of an excuse to give to your sister.

—Tell her you're exploiting her younger brother.

—Hey —he warns me, pointing his index at me—. Out of us two, you work the least. Don't complain about having to cover it up for me today.

—You're the one who divides the customers —I shrug.

—Okay, then. From now on, We'll do fifty, fifty —he claps his hands in the air—. Or maybe seventy, thirty, since you want to work so bad.

—I'm okay —I finally say, giving him a short smile.

Rolling his eyes, he walks over the door again.

—I'll try to be here before five —he informs me—. There aren't many customers booked for today, so you should be fine on your own. I'll also try to be here before closing time, anyway. If something happens...

—You're acting as if I had never looked after the studio before —I interrupt him.

Mark stops talking for a few seconds, giving me an empathetic smile as his eyes soften after my comment.

—If something happens, call me right away. And if I don't pick up, wait until I do.

That being said, and ignoring my deathly looks, he waves goodbye and steps outside. Five minutes later, I'm hearing the main door closing among the silence.

The rest of the morning goes on as chill as expected, and as told by Mark. There are only three customers, and it's not like they're asking for too difficult designs. After being done with them, I go back to working on other drawings at the main counter -which will be my working desk for today, just in case someone comes asking for information or trying to book an appointment.

The ringing of the bell at the top of the door frame takes me out of my concentration, glaring at the door and instantly smiling when I see her here. We both agreed on meeting after she was done with her session with Jimin, but she arrived earlier than what we agreed on.

I start walking to her, ready to hide my face in the crook of her neck any time.

—I didn't expect you so early.

—I wasn't planning on coming so early either, but since you said Mark wasn't here today...

She also walks to me, wrapping her arms around my neck right after I've placed my arms around her waist to pull her closer to my body. The corners of her eyes instantly wrinkle when they connect with mine.

—Hey —I tuck some of her locks behind her ear.

—Hey —she smiles nervously.

I only give her a soft peck, sucking on her upper lip before I move away, resting my forehead on hers while our noses rub against one another and our breaths mix in the air.

—Are you still bored?

—You have no idea —I giggle—. I've been here alone all morning —I step back, just to be able to look at her properly while speaking—. There have only been three customers, and they all wanted small tattoos, so it's not like it took a lot of my time. How did it go?

I knew she was nervous about the session, and digging deeper on everything that she found out some weeks ago, but it seems like it went well by the way she puckers her lips and smiles again.

—Good —she nods—. You were right about Jimin.

—Told you —reaching my hand over the counter to get my drawing book, I save it back in my studio—. Want to go for a drink later? —I suggest, still inside the room.

—Why not?

When I'm outside again, I find her too concentrated on the amount of piercings that are exposed in the crystal counter. Honestly, I can easily picture her with a piercing, and I think she'd be able to pull any type so easily.

I wrap my arms around her again, resting my chin on her shoulder just to be able to look at the same spot she's looking at.

—Interested in getting one?

—No —she laughs

—A tattoo, then?

—Hmm... I'm more curious about tattooing one than getting one, actually.

—Is it? —the soft contact of her cheek on mine when I move to smile sends shiverings through my spine— Go for it then.

—Huh? —she turns to me confused.

—Come —I say, holding her hand to guide her steps.

We both enter the studio, and I only let go of her because I have to place all the things needed for what she's about to do right now. I move the craftelier with all the tools next to the tattoo stretcher, and later I move the chair I usually sit in between them two.

After everything is put in the correct place, I sit on the tattoo stretcher, getting as comfortable as possible -or, at least, as much as I always ask my customers to do-; and I tap on the free chair, inviting Y/n to take the spot.

—Are you serious about this?

—Why not? —I frown.

I got under her skin, so it was only fair she'd get under mine.

—Because I'm not a professional like you.

—Just sit here, I'll guide you.

—Kook, I don't even have a design —she complains, while she sits on the chair.

—Just do what crosses your mind.

—If I fuck up your skin...

—Just do a simple one —I encourage her—. Draw whatever you want —I smile to make her comfortable—. Where do you want to do it?

Whatever place she chooses, whatever thing she starts drawing... I honestly don't care as long as it means she's the one that did it.

She moves her fingers over my skin, stopping at the only spot in my wrist that isn't covered with ink, next to the snake she's always been vocal about liking so much. I open a plastic package, take a razor and move it carefully over that spot and get rid of the hairs that could be a problem for what she's about to do. Starting the machine right after, I hand her a pair of gloves so I can give her the pen as soon as she puts them on.

I pull from her seat, dragging her closer to me just so I can help her to sit correctly -and also so she can be as comfortable as possible. I also help her place her fingers on my skin, so the work is efficiently done.

The first few minutes, I hold her hand with my free hand, teaching her how to do it, what pace she should work on, and how she should be using the pen. And once she seems to be able to do it on her own, I let go of her. I only interrupt her whenever I try to move her hair away, wanting to see her expression while she's tattoing me.

—Am I hurting you? —she asks, not raising her eyes from that spot she's working on.

—It feels like someone is cutting my arm, actually —I joke—. But I can handle it, because I'm a tough guy.

—Sure —she rolls her eyes.

Y/n does a few more traces, and brings out her perfectionist nature when the needle goes over some spots she has already done. Once it's over, I look at the reversed heart. And I can't help but smile when I'm aware of the way it stands out compared to the rest of my tattoos.

—A heart?—I smile shyly.

—It was the only thing I could think about —she hands me the pen—. Nothing too personal. If we ever grow apart, it won't really hold any meaning. And it'll be easier to cover it.

—You did it, so it has a lot of meaning —I turn off the machine—. You're under my skin now.

I show off the tattoo right after saying that, lifting my arm and closing my fist. When she's finally taken off the gloves, I move the chair closer to me again, pulling her in for another long kiss.

✸ ✸ ✸

We get inside Taehyung's pub while holding hands, moving among the crowd piling at the door. Trying to make it easier for us to move, I step ahead of her, moving her arm around my waist so we're able to walk smoothly while I'm still able to make sure she's next to me. Soon I'm not even bothered by the amount of people when I feel her lips curve on my nape.

We should visit crowded places more often...

It's not like we need an excuse to act like this though. These two weeks we've been stuck together like our bodies were glued to each other whenever we had the chance. And it was even worse whenever we were in private. The only difference is when we meet up with my sister and her friends, that's when we have to pretend we aren't together at all and it gets more difficult every day.

After asking for our drinks, I feel her moving away from my body. Although it's all left to an attempt when I stop her, wrapping my arm around her waist and placing her body right against mine again.

—I want you glued to my body, baby —I whisper into her ear.

Her head falls back slightly when I kiss the spot under her earlobe, smirking at her reaction when our eyes meet again. Too bad we're interrupted again when our drinks are ready, because I'd probably be sucking into her lips otherwise.

We move to one of the few free tables, taking the spot before anyone else is able to take it. Once we're finally breathing comfortably, I see her eyes dropping to her icy drink and how her lips slightly pout when there's no straw.

Something I will always know is that Y/n isn't able to drink anything with ice if it doesn't have a straw, she just hates the feeling of the ice against her teeth, or having to work twice to avoid the ice while sipping on it.

—I'll ask for one —I'm about to get up, but she grabs my wrist.

—It's alright —she stops me—. They're too busy to just waste their time on a straw.

—You hate the ice hitting your teeth —I stand up either way—. I won't bother anyone. I'll just go and pick one. I'll be right back.

I kiss her forehead, reassuring that it isn't a bother for anyone. When I move behind the counter, I start chatting with Josh while he's serving drinks, and out of nowhere Brooke also joins us.

—Look who dared to show up by himself again.

—I'm not by myself though —I look for the straws.

—A new hook up? —she jokes.

—My girlfriend —I point at Y/n as I say that.

It's true that we haven't settled what we are yet. We're in the fake "knowing each other" face, and trying to see how things work between us, but I'd constantly refer to her as my girlfriend whenever I think of her.

—Wait... I know her. Tae also mentioned you were dating her when she came the other day, but I thought he was kidding.

—Why? —now I look at her.

—She was close to the guy she came with.

I scoff at that comment. Y/n, my Y/n, being close to a guy that isn't me to the point of making someone believe she's dating him? After we finally solved things out? Of course I can't buy it. And Brooke seems to be taking that scoff as the disbelief sign I exactly want to show off, because she brings up her phone and shows me the pic herself.

Y/n is smiling wide, resting her hand on Jin's arm while she's leaning onto him. I want to keep myself from reacting the way I shouldn't, to feel a way I shouldn't, but it's too late.

—Who do you think you are to do that shit? —Brooke is taken aback by my reaction, dropping her hand to the side slowly— Are you really that bored that you're taking pics of clients and saving them on your phone? I don't know what you expected when you took that pic, but I don't really care. Whatever happens between my girlfriend and I is my business, and you shouldn't be sticking your noses in them.

Of course I know Y/n well enough to bet all my money that she wouldn't even think of going to someone else. I trust her. But I'm still confused as to why she didn't tell me anything about that night, and how she went out alone with Jin after work.

—Here —I hand her the straw when I'm back at the table.

—Thanks.

Even if I know she wouldn't, what if she starts realizing there are better dudes out there now that she's started dating me?

Maybe I'm not what she expected.

—Are you okay? —her questions bring me back to our table.

—Yeah —I nod—. Why?

—Nothing —she shakes her head.—. I was just checking.

#fanfic #ff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkookxreader #jk #bts #wattpad #kookie #smut #jungkook smut #tattoistjk #tattooau #jungkook pov #Under His Skin #reader insert #armpirate

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alixinwwonderland · 2 years

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a midgelenny airport love confession

"So, what do you think?"

Midge turns slowly in a circle, taking in everything around her from this central view. The curving lines of the terminal's interior, the sleek mod furnishings, the flight attendants and pilots in their uniforms, the travelers in brightly colored dresses and well-tailored suits.

It's remarkable, how well the designers have recreated the Idlewild Airport she remembers so vividly. There's a hustle and bustle to the set that reminds her of the real airport, too, and the energy of being constantly on the run when she was on tour.

"It feels ... familiar. In the best way," she finally replies.

She and Lenny are ushered over to a pair of seats in the middle of the set. Not quite in the center of the scene, but close enough to the action to ensure that they won't get cut out of the frame. It's become a tradition for the production team to include them as extras in as many large scenes as possible. After their first impromptu appearance (in the back of a hazy nightclub scene near the end of the first season) sent them and the show trending on social media, they've become a good-luck charm for filming tricky scenes, and spotting their cameos has become a recurring game for eagle-eyed fans.

The scene they're filming today is a tough one, both logistically and emotionally, so there's a good chance that many viewers won't notice the inconspicuous elderly couple until a second viewing. Midge and Lenny follow directions and avoid staring at the pair several feet away, who are currently acting out a version of a scene they know too well from having lived it. It's not quite the same as it was in real life, of course, but the effect is close enough. And it feels right, and that's what matters.

When the director calls "cut," the crew prepares for a reset to get the next take. Lenny slouches a little in his seat, while Midge catches her actress's eye and gives her an almost-imperceptible nod of approval.

"You know," Lenny says quietly, so as not to draw attention to them, "I never did get the romance of airports. It's like trying to think of a parking garage as romantic. It's just a place where a bunch of vehicles start and stop. Smells like plastic and disinfectant and people who have been cooped up with limited ventilation for five hours."

"Please, stop, you'll make me swoon," Midge replies dryly.

"But then ... I started thinking about it more. About how it's sort of a liminal space, isn't it? Comings and goings, neither here nor there, partings and reunions? The day you walked away right here ... or not really right here, but you know what I mean ... it took everything I had not to go barrelling after you like some schmuck in the movies, grab onto you, and never fucking let go again."

"So that's why he looked like he was about to jump out of his skin during that take. You told him," Midge comments, nodding over at the actor in Lenny's signature rumpled suit, running a hand through his messy curls as he slouches down to hear the director's instructions.

Lenny shrugs his shoulders.

"I also told him that I'm glad I didn't go after you then. I wasn't ready. You weren't, either, not really."

"No, I guess I wasn't."

"Exactly. But look how we ended up. Didn't get the cheesy movie trope. That's not really my style, anyway. But I love you and I love our life. Wouldn't change a thing."

Midge leans over to peck him softly on the lips. When she pulls back, they entwine their hands comfortably as they wait for the scene to restart.

"You do realize that technically, this does count as a confession of love in an airport," she teases.

"Aw, rats."

#midgelenny #midge maisel #lenny bruce #tmmm #the marvelous mrs. maisel #tmmmfic #mine #tv: the marvelous mrs maisel #ship: you're still staring #ch: midge maisel #ch: lenny bruce

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maximuswolf · 1 year

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Kalita Wave: underrated dripper?

Kalita Wave: underrated dripper? I got a glass Kalita Wave (small 155 size) the other day because I wanted to try something different from my V60. So far I've tried brewing a few different coffees I have with it, and it has been easy to dial in and get a great cup every time. The flat bottom design makes it more forgiving than the V60. Since flow is restricted by the brewer itself, pouring technique is not all that important.I get why people like the V60 and similar devices. They can make great cups and are fun to experiment with. I like my V60 too, but as a daily driver, I think the flat bottom style will be better for me. I think the Wave gets a bad reputation due to the clogging issues of the metal version, but I have had no such troubles with this glass one. The final drawdown is actually faster than my V60 for a similar grind size if I do ~3 pulse pours with the V60. (I've noticed that when doing pulse pouring with the V60, subsequent drawdowns between pulses take increasingly longer to complete; not so with the Wave.)My "recipe," if it could even be called that, is simple. Bloom with 2-3x the weight of weight of the grounds, wait until the timer says 1 minute. Pour in gentle circles until the brewer is mostly full. Let it draw down about half way, then fill it up again. Repeat until you hit the target volume. You can optionally do a swirl at the end.Some other tips and tricks I've learned in my short time using it:The 155 filters require some care. After a failed first attempt that resulted in horribly deformed and collapsed waves, I have stopped pre-wetting the filters. I preheat the brewer and cup without the filter in it, add the grounds to the filter outside the brewer, wipe down the inside of the brewer, and then put in the filter with grounds. I haven't noticed a paper taste in the cup. It seems like this is not as much of a problem with the 185.The 155 version is tiny and definitely for 1 cup only. A 20g dose of coffee is probably the max.At one point I had the brilliant idea to preheat the brewer on top of the kettle while it was heating up. Don't do that. The plastic base will melt. Thankfully I took it off before it was seriously damaged.Grind size needs to be relatively coarse due to the limited flow rate. If you normally do a V60 with a bloom + just 1 or 2 pours, you'll probably need to grind a bit coarser than that. However, I'm using a similar grind size to my V60 + 3 pours technique.https://ift.tt/I2vU4Pq Submitted December 21, 2022 at 09:09AM by montagdude87 https://ift.tt/7uPUrQ4 via /r/Coffee

#IFTTT #reddit

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polhph · 2 years

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Easycanvas drawpile

EASYCANVAS DRAWPILE SKIN

EASYCANVAS DRAWPILE SOFTWARE

EASYCANVAS DRAWPILE ZIP

EASYCANVAS DRAWPILE MAC

(It's waiting forĪ message in the new format that will not arrive.) The client will just sit there until the connection times out. If you try to connect to a 1.0 server with the 2.0 client, When you connect to a server, that means you're running version 1.0.6 and the Will continue to accept announcements from the old version.Ĭompatibility notice: If you get an error saying "this is not a drawpile server" Privately runġ.x servers will of course continue to function, and the public listing server The public server will be switched over to version 2.0 later today. Require installation, so that it can be used in parallel with the new version.

EASYCANVAS DRAWPILE ZIP

For this reason, versionġ.0.6 is still available on the download page as a ZIP package (Windows) that does not Version 2.0 is unfortunately incompatible with 1.x versions. Level of quality where I feel it is ready to replace version 1.0.6 as the official Very light weight and a good blender, but largely superseded by clip studio unless you require something that light weightĪn infant of a really good brush sim, it runs better then painter, but at the same time has issues you wouldn't think it would have that painter largely unfucked a few versions ago.The 2.0.0 stable release is finally here! Version 2.0 has finally reached the I had one where I couldn't put paint down, and when I tried to screen record it, because that lowers my desktops frame rate, the issue went away. Good if it works for you but jesus does it have bugs that show up and disappear at random. Whenever I feel down or art blocked i'd doodle on ms paint, I've drawn whole pieces on it even, best ever.

EASYCANVAS DRAWPILE SOFTWARE

Pros: opensource, pen sensitivity and pressure are perfect, very comparable with photoshop in performance but with more artist friendly interface, better for working on more complicated pieces, animation.Ĭons: user interface can be not very user friendly but you'll get used to it quickly, can be buggy since it's the second heaviest software in this review. Krita was trash but it's got so much better recently >krita ( a few months, my current software ) Pros: free, very light-weight, works with most styles, gets the job doneĬons: no animation, drawings always end up looking cheap so it's better suited for simple pieces.

EASYCANVAS DRAWPILE SKIN

Pros: top tier pen sensitivity, brush customization is a breeze ,very sophisticated photo editing features, animation, custom working spaces.Ĭons: expensive, heavy, not designed with artists in mind so you'll be paying for and using a program that has many features you'll never use unless you're a photographer on the side.įirealpaca and medibang are one and the same one is lightmode and the other is darkmode with one exception, firealpaca has onion skin option for animation. Pros: inexpensive and easy to get pirated, lightweight, user friendly interface, you can still use if even as a mouse user, if you're an anime artist, this was made with anime style art in mind, anything else can work but not ideal.Ĭons: no darkmode, no animation, a lot of the tools in most modern softwares are missing, brushes are too soft and doesn't really work if you're trying to draw anything that's not super blended anime boobs and thighs it's not the program for you. I'll rate softwares i've worked with for at least a month, I'll state the amount of time I've used them for in brackets. I’ve been considering switching to CSP though because I wanted to get a Tabmate but they only exist for CSP and there isn’t an analogous device for other programs. I eventually figured it out and I do use Illustrator for some things, but mostly I try to practice my jittery hand control instead of going for a nice clean mechanically sanitized contour. It was a big paradigm shift for me at a very late age to stop thinking of drawings in terms of raster and pixels but as shapes. The only other art program I’ve used has been Illustrator, which is a nice program but I sorta dislike vectors. I’m really not sure what the program offers that other legitimate art programs don’t tho. I’ve come to appreciate the personal touch my shitty jagged lines get from not being perfectly smoothed. I’ve been using it for a decade now and know almost all its functions and even prefer that it doesn’t have line corrections now.

EASYCANVAS DRAWPILE MAC

The Mac I use now had the entire Adobe Suite installed and I’m scared knowing one day the computer is gonna break and I’ll have to consider getting the PS subscription thing which I will not do. every computer I’ve owned) has had it already installed. I use PhotoShop but mostly because every computer I’ve bought from friends (I.e.

#Easycanvas drawpile

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garlic-gun · 2 years

Text

just watched episode 121 of z and what was Going to just be an observation about expectations became an entire ramble about my thought process trying to design characters before ive really met them

watching more dbz and future trunks is like. more upbeat than i was expecting so far, after killing frieza and king cold. when i was thinking about how i want to portray him in comparison to present trunks at a similar age a while ago, with little context other than "their upbringings are innately different bc of the drastic differences in their circumstances", "i have watched the dbza version of the history of trunks and i know this boy has suffered", and fan content ive seen in general without first-hand context (that i remember well, at least) i didnt expect ft to be like constantly brooding or anything, but i intended for him to sort of Feel quieter and more serious, and i was thinking and experimenting a lot with giving him a more solemn and reserved feeling, meanwhile pt (that is to say, present trunks, whom im Pretty sure is the trunks that goes on to be in gt. which in recent enough years for me to actually remember in coherent detail ive only seen bits and pieces of) i was thinking id give a louder and more exaggerated and overall lighter-hearted feel. but once the threat of the frieza force doing anything to earth was over i was taken a bit off-guard by how immediately friendly trunks was and the Manner in which hes friendly. like kindness was kind of a given but i wasnt expecting 1) this Adorable smile

(dont mind the lack of crop) and 2) for him to basically just go "hey goku's gonna be here in 3 hours. wanna go hang out until then? i brought a minifridge" (more politely of course but you know). i also . oh i lost mt train of thought actu- wait i REMBER. i was also expecting him to be more calculated but no, aside from knowing when things should happen (bc they already have), hes actually seemingly playing things by ear mostly, with him being friendly and then realizing "wait. wait theyre asking Questions. ive said too much what do i do" and giving awkward not-quite answers to try to deflect from his like. existence. like everything about him is incriminating towards his background Except for the fact that no one has any good reason to think, right off the bat, "oh hes bulma and vegeta's kid from the future". bulma barely even Knows vegeta at this point, let alone enough to like. yknow. but hes like

"i cant tell you my name or else youll immediately know im your son and i am Not willing to talk about that right now so here is a Little information please do not ask for more" and then hes looking down like "oh i fucked this up already"

i guess what im getting at is that my impression of future trunks seems to have been way more off than i even thought, though my sample size is still pretty small so its Possible i like averaged out Something factual about him. but . oh i really lost my train of thought this time. um. damn..

well either way trunks has been important to me since i was young (probably an early benchmark for my queer awakening bc when i was watching gt on nicktoons i definitely was like "hmm. now thats a gend id like to er [files it away in the "things that would have probably made me realize i was trans earlier if i had the words for it then" cabinet]") and i guess what im getting at is, it's nice to actually Know things with a brain that can actually connect complex and nuanced things instead of basically being like "ooh colors" and interesting to see what conclusions i had come to were just completely off and get to finally know the character properly. its a bit of a struggle wanting to draw and think about characters but having nothing to go off of but until i get there, it might be fun to compare my pre-first impression to the truth once i get there.

#dust watches db #was thinking about making that tag specifically z but i Might watch super. probably not soon but one of my weaknesses is the fact that i #am Horrible at future-proofing things organizationally. just my pictures folder on my laptop is a disaster and its not even a year old 😭#the post i think isnt Super long but it would be annoying to scroll past so its going to the readmore dimension #generic original post tag

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blu-joons · 2 years

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The First “I Love You” ~ Kim Namjoon

The sound of humming brought Namjoon’s eyes to the front door straight away, smiling widely as he watched you walk through it. Straight away he could tell what song you were listening to as you made your own version with several hums and murmurs.

“Hi,” Namjoon waved as your eyes looked around the room, chuckling as you took out both of your headphones, placing them in your pocket.

Your smile grew as doon as you found him, “sorry, I was in a world of my own,” you commented, moving across the room to take a seat beside him on the sofa.

His bright eyes watched your every movement as you sat down, unable to even try and hide his smile. There was something about watching you that Namjoon just moved, something that he saw in you that reminded him so much of how he was himself.

He sat and patiently waited for you to sort yourself out, taking your bag off from your back and placing it down beside you, taking your phone out of your pocket and placing it on the table.

“How was your day?” He asked you once you were ready to finally sit and face him, having organised everything that you wanted to. “You mentioned that you were getting a new client, did they show up to see you?”

Your head nodded back at him as you leant forwards to pick up your bag, beginning to rummage through for what you were looking for. Items fell out all over the place until you found what you wanted, sitting back up, only to hit the top of your head on the coffee table.

“Careful,” Namjoon panicked, leaning forwards too to press his hand to the top of your head.

A groan came from you as you felt the top of your head pulsing, “trust me,” you scoffed, much more carefully sitting up again.

It was the clumsy panic that Namjoon made so many others experience as he helped you up. The feeling of his heart sinking as he heard the bang, followed by his eyes studying to make sure that you weren’t too hurt by what was going on.

Once you’d managed to compose yourself again, you handed the piece of paper in your hand across to Namjoon for him to take a look.

“This is what they want you to draw?”

“It’s a rough sketch, but along those lines.”

A gasp came from him as he looked over the intricate design on the paper, “you’re going to do amazingly at this,” he immediately told you, “this is right up your street.”

“I had a feeling that you’d like it too, it’s quite abstract.”

Namjoon’s head nodded back at you, impressed at how well you knew him, how much you knew his eye had a love for the stranger things when it came to art.

After a few moments, Namjoon folded the piece of paper again and handed it back across to you, “I can’t wait to see what you draw up, you best be giving me a sneak preview of it?”

“Of course, you’re always the first one that gets to see everything.”

As you finally leant back against the sofa and made yourself comfortable, Namjoon’s eyes remained on you. His heart raced as he watched you, you were doing nothing, but there was still a part of him that found himself in awe of you. He’d spent months figuring out how he managed to find you, but still he wasn’t able to find the answer.

Whichever path he took to find you, he was beyond glad that he went down it, meeting you felt like a dream to him. To have someone so similar to him, who he just seemed to click with were two of the most important things that Namjoon always wanted.

“Shall we head out tonight?” Namjoon suddenly asked you as you looked away.

Your eyes flickered back to him with a slight look of confusion, “why do you want to go out tonight? I’m not exactly in the mood Joon.”

“We’re celebrating,” he then informed you, only adding to the look of bemusement that was on your face, “it’s only right when we’re celebrating that we go out and do something nice, right?”

His hand slipped into yours as you spoke, feeling him squeeze against you. You were used to Namjoon speaking in riddles, leaving you to often try and figure out the answer.

What he wanted to celebrate was as clear as day for him though, there was no confusion, no doubt, his mind was absolutely made up, knowing that it was the right thing too.

The look on your face made him chuckle as you continued to give him no response. “What do you say? We could go to our favourite spot just next to the company?”

“What are we celebrating though?”

“The fact that I love you,” he simply spoke, all as if his words were no big deal at all. Whilst he remained calm, you on the other hand felt your body stiffen, eyes going wide as you made sure that you were hearing right.

It was a perfectly typical Namjoon way of confessing, no fuss, no big announcements, just a sudden, if not slightly random, way of telling you exactly how he felt about you, leaving you trying to decide whether your mind was playing tricks on you.

“Do you think you could just repeat that bit again?”

As Namjoon repeated to you what he had just said, it finally began to sink in for you. The corners of your mouth turned up and your shoulders dropped too as you looked to Namjoon with a shake of your head.

“You don’t want to go out and celebrate that?” He teased across to you.

Your eyes rolled, “you can’t just come out with something like that.”

His shoulders shrugged back at you, it was too late to take it back now, but after he’d said it, it sure felt a weight lifted from his shoulders.

“I didn’t realise that there were rules to telling someone that you love them,” he replied, continuing to mess with you.

Your head came down and rested against his shoulder as you tried to control the shade of red that you could feel developing on your cheeks so that it was as light as possible.

“This is such a perfect you thing to do,” you told him, feeling his arm wrap around your waist.

“I haven’t done anything,” he continued to innocently laugh back across at you, “all I did was tell you that I love you, that’s what couples do, right?”

“I always visioned myself looking nice when you told me that you loved me,” you huffed, “I look a mess right now, and I’ve got a giant headache now too.”

“But that’s exactly why I do love you,” Namjoon explained, “because you’re clumsy and a mess, but that’s exactly what I’m like too, it’s why we go so well together Y/N.”

“Why do you have all of the right answers to the things that I want to say?” You joked back at him, “I hate how much of a smooth talker you are sometimes.”

“I have all the right answers because I love you and I know you so well,” Namjoon chimed, “you make it so easy to love you.”

“You’re lucky I love you too,” you smiled back at him, “you’re too cute Namjoon.”

“Sounds like we’re going to need a table for two, we’re celebrating twice tonight,” he hummed.

“You really are impossible.”

---

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sunflowergyeomie · 3 years

Text

can you handle it?

sypnosis: jeonghan is a real pain in the ass, we all know that. he always seems to get you to do things you never agreed on doing, you try not to fall for them though. what if one day you accidentally fall into his trap and give in, without knowing at all?

pairing: yoon jeonghan x gn!reader (vagina bearing)

genre: established relationship, fashion design student!au, architect!au, smut (18+ only)

word count: 2.9k

warnings: profanity, m!dom, degradation, lots of cum play, fingering, creampie, unprotected sex, pet names, size kink?? if you squint

a/n: bcos the irl girl version of jeonghan (aka my devil angel twin) @shuajeong told me "there aren't any fics of jeonghan lately", thus ✨this is written purely for you and your pain 😘 i have to say though, this isn't my best work :( i kept going back and forth and i rewrote and changed things at least three times so 😖😖 (i'm lowkey done with it so i'm sorry i tried, i really did) please forgive me.

Challenge?

Oh, it’s a challenge, alright.

Annoyed is what it is, lips pressed tightly together as you sink in the indescribable feeling. That’s what was currently happening seeing how there is a huge load of cum in your panties – an ignorant aftermath of your quickie with Jeonghan this morning before he drove you to class.

He even had the nerve to question how long you could stay like that for the entire day. You took that as him asking for a challenge and having been with you for a while now, Jeonghan knew you were never one to back down from them. Having basked in the afterglow of sex sure made you think anything was possible – or more accurately speaking his dick just made you dumb.

Now that it’s almost noon, you’re absolutely starting to regret the choice you’ve made, especially when you’re sitting halfway through your second lecture for the day, simply feeling that load threatening to spill out from the cotton panel, onto your inner thighs and slowly ooze down your legs.

Multiple calls of your name put a halt to your thoughts. A hand waves across your face while your eyes focus and refocus as the silhouettes come into sight. Your friends, Mingyu and Minghao are both staring at you, confusion etched across their faces, anticipating an answer from a question one of them probably asked. But in all honesty, you couldn’t recall the subject matter, nor did you give a shit about their issues because your main concern at this time is to get the hell out of there. “Oh, huh? Oh yes, sorry, yes, I’ll absolutely do that.”

A little laugh escapes from Mingyu’s lips while Minghao frowns. “I said.. What are you thinking about?” Mingyu asks, “You have a weird look on your face.”

“Are you not feeling well?” Minghao chimes in. “We can take n-“

“I’m fine, guys. Just a little tired,” You brush off, not wanting to go too deep into whatever you were currently feeling. It’s not that the guys weren’t close to you. In fact, they grew to be one of the closest ever since freshman year when all three of you showed up in the same pattern drafting class, wary looks on everybody’s faces in a new environment. Since the fashion department itself is small with only a few hundred students enrolled, it also meant that classes were taken with familiar faces, rarely is there a fashion student you haven’t seen before. Not to mention you were always being grouped in numerous projects and that’s how the three of you came to be. Both of them knew of your relationship with Jeonghan, of course, but there’s just some things that are better off left unsaid even if they are your best friends.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the both of them stealing glances at you every now and then. Even though they didn’t buy your excuse, Mingyu and Minghao knew better than not to bug you about it so throughout the whole three-hour lecture, you could just sense their concern emanating off their bodies. Adding on to your growing anxiety, making you more on edge, terrified that at any moment they would catch a glimpse of whatever dirty secret you were holding in – quite literally. Pulling out your phone, you quickly sent a text.

[12:03 PM]

you: I can’t take this anymore.

hannie: what’s wrong, princess?

You groaned, exasperation coating your breath. Was he playing dumb?

you: you know what I mean, han.

hannie: and what about it?

hannie: if I recall correctly, weren’t you the one who practically begged me to cum inside of you? Was just doing what you asked me to, princess :)

Scoffing in disbelief, you ignore his message, tossing the device straight into your bag, now furious at yourself for agreeing to it.

Stupid dick.

You weren’t even that horny this morning.

The cement walkways on campus greet the three of you as you step through the warm breeze. The sun shining through every leaf on the tall oak trees above you signal the firsts of many beautiful days now that summer is just around the corner. The bright weather is a big contrast to your dampening mood as your feet slowly drag along the blocks, leaving a gap between you and your friends while you try to keep up. You weren’t too keen on walking too fast right now. One wrong shift and you could be at risk of having Jeonghan’s gooey, semi-translucent, and not-so-warm release pooling down from underneath your mound. The two paid no attention to you though, they’re happily chatting about lunch options and the next possible location for studying afterwards. Not that you were going to join them anyways, not until you get the mess in between your legs situated.

“How about donkkaseu?” Mingyu turns around to ask, head whipping back mid-sentence to look at you, only to turn around and see that you’re already gone. His head turns left and right, trying to find you in the crowd of students, squinting his eyes for even a glimpse of your backpack but you’re nowhere to be seen.

“Where’d she go?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Minghao gives him a pointed look. “Jeonghan.” He says bluntly.

Jeonghan works downtown, a full hour away from your university. He was a busy man, well-equipped with knowledge and never failed to take pride in his work, no matter what it was. Your boyfriend was a well-wanted individual – not only with people who desperately wanted to be in his inner circle but also in his field of work with the numerous clients fighting for a slot in his schedule. Jeonghan has never-ending project proposals, spending most of his hours reviewing alterations and redevelopments on his building designs – a perfectionist, you often say or an obsession as others might call it. Knowing how serious his job was to him, you made sure not to meddle in with his profession, seeing how much it irritated him whenever he couldn’t concentrate, but this time was different – and you couldn’t hold yourself back from making the journey. You bow as you greet the secretary at the front desk. She takes one look up from her screen and already knows who you’re here for, immediately telling you of your boyfriend’s whereabouts while you nod back in thankfulness.

Pushing the heavy doors to Jeonghan’s office, the first thing you notice were his eyebrows deeply furrowed upon his face, a definite telltale to the attentiveness of the task in front of him. A few coworkers were surrounding him, each hovered over what seemed to be like another one of his drawing plans. At the click of the doorknob, Jeonghan’s head perked up when he saw you enter. A smile threatens to pull at his lips, but he bites them to prevent the joy from appearing. He’s been waiting for you all day. Having expected you to cave in earlier so he could have an excuse to take a long break. The current deal he was working on was getting to his head even though he’s gone over it a couple times already. He just needs a reset, a breather of some sort, … a release. Jeonghan fakes innocence however when he asks why you’re here. Simultaneously, his brain has already got his fingers wrapped around the string – pulling once, twice, three times, officially starting the internal mischievousness in him. A devious idea accelerating right before your very own eyes.

You furiously start making your way towards him, hair flying in all directions, nostrils flared in annoyance, your cheeks flamed red from built-up anger since the early morning you got to school, and the wrinkle between your eyebrows. You were a hot-tempered mess, you knew that but god, all he could think about was how beautiful you look. The way your eyes are rounded with the curvature of your nose bridge, adding on to the natural tint to your soft lips. Your lips that pout ever so slightly whenever you want something, your lips that taste like a mixture of yourself and that artificial strawberry-flavoured chapstick you apply every morning, your lips he so badly wants to feel against his own.

Your voice cuts through, interrupting his trance. “Excuse me, can I speak to you privately for one second?”

“Of course.” Jeonghan grins, dropping the pen as his hands start pushing his body up from the plush chair, quickly dismissing his staff with a wave of the hand. They take a hint as one by one, each of them starts leaving. He stands up, arms already going around your waist to pull you close, “Hi baby, how was your day?” He asks, head tilting as his hands are already reaching up to run his fingers through your hair.

You open your mouth to spew words, anger bubbling in letters as they boil up to the back of your throat but all of which dies down when the fire is turned off. Blocked off after the door is shut behind the last person when his demeanour takes a turn and switches a whole 180 degrees. His plan finally comes into action as his acting skills gear up. Licking his lips, his hands drop as he takes a step closer to you, hovering over your tiny figure. He’s finally got you where he wanted you in the first place. His eyes peer down from the lenses of his wired glasses, “Don’t you know better than not to interrupt me while I’m working?” He pauses. “What do you think my staff will think if you’re here for too long?” The back of his fingers gently trails down your face, almost feather-like as you try to press your face against his palm, leaning more into his touch.

“Guess you couldn’t keep it in, huh? I always knew you were a little slut.” Jeonghan tsked, “Was my cock not enough that you needed a second filling? It’s only been a few hours, darling.”

He starts walking back to his desk, hands going into his pockets as he leans against the edge. It shouldn’t have intimidated you, the way his eyes bore into yours but you gulped anyways, a feeling of excitement stirring in your lower abdomen as you clenched around nothing. You opened your mouth to retaliate, only for it to be shaped like what seems like a silent ‘o’. One of his eyebrows raise, a silent gesture for you to come.

Out of habit, your legs start moving obediently on their own until they reach the fronts of Jeonghan’s dress shoes. Tracing the outline of his long, toned legs hidden underneath the carob brown material of his trousers, you couldn’t help catching onto the small details of the garment. The modern leg-lines seamed in to elongate his legs, waistband wrapped around his torso showcasing his slim but strong build, the button with its holes as imaginary eyes and a crossed thread disguised as lips silently screaming ‘open me, open me!’.

He grabs your jaw, forcing you to tear your eyes away from his lower half to look at him. “I thought you came here to say something, but I can practically see the drool coming out of your pretty little mouth, staring at my cock.”

“I-“, He spins you around, positions changed now that you’re the one leaning against the desk. Jeonghan dives his head to capture your lips with his. You’re taken by surprise as a gasp escapes from your mouth while he takes that as a chance to deepen the kiss, his tongue slipping past your bottom lip; full of need and desire, desperate to let out his frustrations. All your effort is focused on keeping up, molding your mouths together. Your anger is now replaced with lust. His hands are moving down to grip your ass.

Your breath hitches when his lips start trailing down your jaw, gently nibbling the soft skin on your neck before travelling down the valley of your breasts. He doesn’t bother trying to take off your top, opting to unbutton the first few, just enough to expose your lacy bra. Slipping underneath one cup to carefully knead your honey soft skin before latching his mouth onto your nipple, sucking gently but firmly. You whine as he hoists you up and places you on the surface, his face never detaching from your soft and full chest as he quickly pulls your pants off, leaving you in just your soaked panties.

“Maybe it was a good idea to leave my cum in you,” Jeonghan’s fingers hook onto the waistband. He smirks before pulling them down completely, stopping mid-thigh. “Easier to prepare.”

A trail of your slick follows as his digits spread your pussy, using his middle finger to slowly drag up your wet slit. His other hand is gripping your thigh when he reaches down in between, scooping the leftover cum from the previous session and forcing it back into your pussy. You watch with wide eyes only to have them roll back completely when he finishes by stuffing them all the way into you, resulting in a loud moan.

“P-please”

Jeonghan chuckles, satisfied by your reaction. He had you beckoning at his every move yet you were sure the satisfaction still wasn’t enough for him, not just yet. He pulls his fingers out to strip himself of his own pants, popping his member out. The hand with the fingers that were just inside of you is now rubbing all over his cock, using the little beads of precum along with a bit of your slick to pump himself.

Jeonghan’s cock is pretty, like the boy himself. He’s not too big or too small but he knows his angles and he knows how to use them right. Every time the two of you get intimate, which is quite often, his thrusts are sharp, clean and reach to the most inner parts of you – something that leaves soreness inside of you for days. But that doesn’t seem to matter whenever the two of you are having hot and steamy sex five days out of the seven weekly.

“You better stay fucking quiet.”

One hand is gripping your waist for extra support while the other is slowly guiding his length into you. The growl in his voice sends another wave of arousal between your legs, the wetness starting to spill and gather down your thighs. His eyes diverted down to pay attention to the way his length was disappearing inside of you. Each stroke covering his manhood with even more of your juices.

“F-ffuck, baby.” He curses under his breath. “You’re still so tight.”

His voice was breathy, almost like a whine before he picks up his speed, splitting your folds with a sloppy rhythm, expecting to chase both your highs before his coworkers come barging back in. Although the thought of getting caught in such a compromising position arouses him, Jeonghan couldn’t risk letting anyone seeing you in your most vulnerable state. Not when you have all the right curves, exclusive only for his viewing.

At some point, his hands start pulling you into him to meet his every thrust, your tits bouncing as you start feeling the delicious new angle he’s ruining you from. The tip of his cock rubbing against your cervix with every stretch. The familiar feeling of tension starts to build as your eyes squeeze tighter, your orgasm is approaching faster and faster. You’ve never wanted to scream his name out loud so badly when he slams once, no, twice into you, releasing the coil sending intensifying waves of pleasure throughout your whole body. Your tight heat clenching and unclenching around him causing Jeonghan to groan, “Shit.”

“Cum in me.” You insisted weakly. He gives in as he presses himself balls deep, cock twitching as he unloads inside of you, cum shooting in spurts coating your walls in white. The groan emerging from the back of his throat muffled as he quickly smashes his lips onto yours to conceal it. Your muscles move on your own, hiding your own whimper as your lips move together in unison. His body slumps over yours while he rests his head against your shoulder, pressing a light kiss as a way to say thank you.

In the intimacy of the moment, your arms are thrown around his broad shoulders, subconsciously pulling him closer as the two of you try to catch your breaths. When he lifts his head up, his doll eyes are already staring into your glossy ones. A tender smile spreading across his face, pecking your lips one more time before he slowly pulls out. Straight away, the emptiness is evident as his warmth disappears, your hole gaping while he looks down to appreciate the work done on your ruined pussy.

You feel your panties being pulled back up, now snug on your hips as he lets go of the elastic waistband to hear it snap back on your skin.

“Guess you have two loads to keep in now.” A devilish look covering every inch of his handsome face.

“Jeonghan!” you lunged at him. He cackles maniacally, successfully dodging while you attempt to jump on his back. The blood in your veins starts boiling again, both hands reaching up to cover your face when you realize your mistake for the second time today.

Jeonghan’s dick really did make you dumb.

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