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scintillyyy · 1 year

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Did Jack really didnt realize Tim was missing for months??? Like i know this is comic book fuckery, but still dude holy shit

alright anon, i believe your ask is referring to my comic book references in the endnotes in my janet fic where i mention that jack doesn't notice tim is gone for like 4 months during no man's land, so i'm going to answer it as if it is. correct me if i'm wrong, tho! and i'll be honest: some of those are meant to humorously poke fun at jack's parenting (or lack thereof).

but to answer your question, yes and no? it kind of boils down to two main points

honestly, in jack's defense, i truly don't think that chuck dixon's intention was to make it seem like jack was totally unaware of and not super concerned about tim being missing for months on end

due to the utter wackiness (and wonderfulness) that is the canon of the no man's land timeline, it definitely comes across that jack is very unconcerned about and/or unaware of tim being gone for a...not insignificant amount of time

under a cut for length

so for starters, we have to take a look at the no man's land official timelime as laid out in the no man's land secret files

our important months here are may and september. in robin #67, tim and dick sneak into no man's land together. based on the official timeline given, this happens in may. robin is then noted to be staying in no man's land and assisting batman through the months of june, july, and august. you'll notice it's not until september that he defeats killer croc and secures the west side.

this is important, because tim doesn't call his jack and let him know that he's in no man's land until robin #72 - after he defeats killer croc.

so now we have a 4 month gap of may to september where tim has been MIA and out of contact from jack and we, uh, haven't heard anything about this disappearance from his dad. no concerns, nothing. which, in all likelihood is because they didn't want to devote any page space to a subplot like this with jack when they had a lot of other stories they needed to tell, but since they don't flash over to jack worrying about tim at all, it kind of reads like jack isn't necessarily super concerned about the fact that tim has been gone for months on end.

and this is strange because, honestly, in canon jack is not the type who would just let his son be missing without addressing it at all, considering tim has gone missing before and jack....didn't take it well. right before cataclysm, tim runs away due to doubting himself as robin and jack not only notices within a couple of days that tim is gone, he goes all out to try and find him.

he contacts the police in robin #48 and robin #49

he even goes to talk to bruce in his desperation to see if bruce knows anything about where his son could have gone (which is actually my favorite bruce & jack interaction)

so we're left with this interesting juxtaposition of how we know jack will react to his son being missing for weeks and how jack is...not really reacting to tim being gone for 4 months at this point.

now we do get a panel that implies that jack is vaguely aware that tim has been gone for a bit. when tim calls him in robin #72 he does say this:

he does ask where tim is and where he's been, but also....

well, i generally disagree with policing people's reactions to stressful situations like this (unlike a lot of true crime enthusiasts), but, uh...idk, to me jack is not really acting like his son has been gone for 4 months at this point. because we've seen how he reacts to tim being gone for multiple weeks, if not months. it looks like this (from robin #52):

you can see here he is palpably relieved and downright exuberant that his son is alive and contacting him after being MIA for so long. he's not angry at all, just filled with relief that his son is okay. compare this to the no man's land one, where he just seems annoyed and angry, like it's just a situation where tim was supposed to be home for dinner or something and he never showed up because he went out with friends and didn't call and let his dad know his plans. like, nothing about the no man's land example reads to me like a father who has been worried sick at his son casually disappearing for 4 months (after recently doing this to boot and jack was shown to be absolutely sick with concern over it all!) without contacting him at all, considering we do know how jack reacts to this very situation. like, almost everything about those two panels are framed differently, even though it's basically the same situation. and of course, after jack finds out that tim is in no man's land, he immediately reacts like he did prior to cataclysm: with immense concern for tim's safety and a goal to find him and get him home. he calls the media and does everything in his power to get tim out safely! so as readers, we're left wondering about how this gap was handled since we didn't hear from jack at all during that time and we've got a couple of options, actually:

most likely, jack was very concerned offscreen over the four months actually, but at the same time he was also very annoyed because didn't they just go through this? he's very upset that tim just keeps running off like this. he probably reported it to the police and we just didn't see it because chuck dixon didn't want to rehash the tim is missing story with jack again or devote limited page space to how jack is reacting to his son being missing.

more hilariously, jack didn't really notice tim was gone for as long as he was. teenagers are slippery, okay? jack is doing his best, but it's really hard keeping track of your fifteen year old when you're jack drake. he just assumed that tim was having a busy summer with his friends and, you know, jack was busy too, working and doing stuff with dana and it's not until dana casually mentions around the end of august, hey, i notice tim hasn't been around recently, shouldn't he be starting school in a few days? and jack's like, huh, that's weird, where is that kid, i expect him home for dinner, i guess i haven't seen him in a few days, now i'm starting to get worried and then his kid calls and is like, hey i'm actually in no man's land.

and honestly, i don't think this whole 4 month thing is something chuck put a lot of thought into, or he definitely backtracked on how unreasonable it was to have tim be gone for so long and never show jack being concerned about it prior to tim calling him considering in robin #74, he has tim say this:

where tim is like "oh, he's mad because i disappeared for a month", which i think is trying to make it better in that maybe tim wasn't gone as long as the timeline would suggest, and jack clearly spent a couple of weeks with his media circus between when he finds out tim is in no man's land and when tim is able to get rescued from no man's land which would give us the rough month tim claims to be missing for, so the implication is that tim maybe didn't actually go missing for 4 months?

but this also directly contradicts the official timeline of events, and actually gives us an even more hilarious implication: you see, jack finds out in september that tim is missing and the issue that tim gets rescued at is meant to be read before catwoman #75, which is catwoman en route to to NML, which our timeline places in october...which is about a month from september. so there we have a month that tim is gone that jack is aware of, so to jack, tim went missing for a month in no man's land.

but for that to work, jack has to be unaware that tim was actually also missing for the four months prior. so there it is! jack being seemingly completely unaware that his son is MIA for four months. in large part, due to the utter ridiculousness of the no man's land timeline rather than any actual intent on the writers' part to do so.

fun times!

#scintilly ask tag #jack drake #tim drake #batman #dc

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ask-the-kh-crew · 3 months

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Don't know if anyone asks this yet or not, but uh, Roxas, do you ever think you'll forgive Riku for what he did in the past to both you and Xion? Like maybe not even fully forgive him, just enough to tolerate being around him if that makes any sense. If not, do you think the two of you will just fight it out here and there out of spite?

Again sorry if I made no sense ^^'

Makes a lot of sense, actually. It's something I used to think about a lot.

It's difficult for me to imagine fully getting over what happened, having everything taken away from us. Even now that we're together again, it hurts to think about the time we spent apart. And when I think about that hurt, I think about Riku.

But I also think about Xehanort, and the way he ruined the lives of so many people aside from us. The more I learn about him from the others, the more I realise how we were all just puppets or pawns to him. It was all so much bigger than me, Xion and Riku. Both of them did what they did because of DiZ and Saïx, and they only did what they did because of Xemnas and the fake Ansem. And in the end, they're the fault of Xehanort, so it always comes back to him...

Plus, if I'm gonna stay mad at Riku for trying to sacrifice me and Xion for some guy I didn't even know, I'd have to blame Xion, too. And there's no way I'd ever do that, so whenever I blame Riku I feel kinda bad. He'd do anything for Sora, in the same way I'd do anything for Xion. Speaking of Sora: when I first disappeared inside Sora's heart, I could still feel and think a little bit, and all I felt was anger. Anger at Riku and this guy he sacrificed everything in my life for. But then, I got to know him a little more, and I saw just how much light was inside him. I accepted that it really had to be him, because he was the one that could bring everyone back. And after seeing him reunite all of us, I can't help but feel like Riku knew he was gonna do that all along. He trusted him, and now I do too. He makes a good other, after all.

Anyway, Xion told me her and Riku already talked about it some time ago: the conversation lasted about an hour, and apparently most of it was just Riku apologising to her over and over. But I didn't feel like talking about it (especially not for that long) and I think he knew that, because he didn't try to talk to me one-on-one for a while. Whenever it was just the two of us, there was just a long and awkward silence until one of our friends showed up again.

But then, a couple of weeks ago, he came to my room after visiting Naminé and asked if he could ask me something. He looked kinda nervous and so I assumed he was here to apologise, but then he... asked me if I could teach him how to skateboard.

Yeah, turns out he thinks it looks pretty rad when Sora does it and he wants to impress him, so he came to me for help. For the past couple of months we've been meeting up every Thurday to practice around Market Street, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't fun (although it'll take a while before he can do mid-air 360s: he's not exactly a natural).

I still don't know if I can ever truly forgive him, but I don't think Riku could ever truly forgive himself either. The least we can do is to try to make the best out of the awful situation we both found ourselves in. And if we still feel some resentment for each other after that, we'll just have to do what Hayner and I always do when we're mad at each other: have a Struggle match to swing the anger out of us and then have ice cream afterwards. Works every time.

(Xion keeps trying to take pictures of me and Riku together, sometimes without us knowing. I'm not sure why and it's kinda annoying but I just let it happen atp. No photos of us skateboarding tho because "Riku always looks a little like a dork when he does it" and I don't disagree lmao)

#-Roxas #kh #kingdom hearts #kh roxas #kh riku #kh xion #kh twilight town

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rahleeyah · 11 months

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Has Olivia ever been wooed like she is being wooed by Elliot?

Cause with Cassidy or Tucker it didn't seem like it. There were hints of there being a relationship but for the most part it was BAM! they're dating.

Well for one I don't think wooing stops after the first date - often that's where it really starts. If you're just talking about someone pursuing her to get a date, tho, I do think the process with Tucker was a long and determined effort; he's taking her out for drinks, he's putting her up for lieutenant when she wasn't even considering it, he's making himself available to her and pursuing her, for several episodes (so several weeks/months) before we have confirmation that they're together. And David wooed her, too; at first she is resistant to the idea of them being together-together but he keeps taking her out and assuring her of his intentions until she's comfortable enough to make the leap (much like Elliot continuing to ask her to lunch, trying to find opportunities for them to just spend time together). Burton certainly wooed her when she was young, with flowery words and promises and mixtapes, and we've seen that with other women he spent a lot of time laying the groundwork before he made a move, so it's reasonable to think he did the same to her. I do think Olivia is used to being pursued; she's a beautiful woman with a lot to offer and while we only see a couple relationships in the show there's a lot of references to her dating life early in 1.0, and every man we see her date is absolutely wrecked by her. Head over heels," throw my career away", "you're the love my life" wrecked, and she is the one who holds the power in those relationships, she's the one who is chased, she's the one who ultimately holds all the chips and decides what's going to happen. What she feels for Elliot, what they represent to each other, what it all means, that is unique tho.

#anonymous #e.o asks #s.vu

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katsukikitten · 1 year

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Kitten what is a typical date with Izuku like for you? An all day affair? Small moments? Grandiose gestures? Quiet quality time?

I think Izuku would make dates all day affairs. In his defense he doesn't mean to but I believe he never has a lot of time because of hero work.

Although he learned the hard way to MAKE time for me.

No grandiose gestures, I'm not a big fan because to me your every day actions speak so much louder.

He'll gently wake me up (way too early for my taste) because he's so excited to show me his plans for us for the day. He's been up for hours, his usual run and work out completed and now he just needs to be with me. Carrying me wherever I want until I'm fully awake.

We eat all our meals out for the day 😂 breakfast at our fav place before he takes me to the book store where I can get all that he can carry (he says himself cause he's got bigger hands and obvi can carry a lot) he pouts when I only get one or two books. Giving me reassurance that he wants to spend money on me and that I deserve to get what I want. Gets blushy when I put his hero plush in his arms, gets jealous when I put any other hero plush onto the pile.

"You should get Kaachan instead." Dead ass will put the Red Riot or Shouto plush away and pick up Dynamight 😂

"I thought it was whatever I want!" I'd pout and this is the few times he tells me no, well technically he doesn't tell me he just puts that plush back and gets Suki 😂

Then we'd see some movies and he'd get the BUTTERIEST popcorn for me sneaking in m&M's even tho he can totally afford the five dollars at the cinema. We watch a couple of Ghibli films. Kiki's delivery service always makes him cry when she loses her powers and can no longer hear Jiji. He also really enjoys princess mononoke!

Then some light shopping before dinner, I like to take the time he's with me to have him pick out our friends birthday presents! Ex if we went this month we'd be getting Suki and Tenkoyo something (LEMME LIVE MY DELUSIONS THAT HES GOT A GOOD CHILDHOOD OKAY HES A HERO NOW😭)

If anyone lets their eyes linger on me too long he gives them a polite smile but when they see his eyes they get this shiver that runs down their spine and they simply fuck off somewhere else in a hurry.

I think Izuku is big on touch and gift giving/acts of service. He constantly needs to be holding hands (similar to someone else 👀) likes how I often hold just his forefingers because my hands are smaller. Still gets blushy no matter how long we've been together when I whisper filth into his ear at dinner

To end the date we get little cakes and eat them at home before he asks to wear matching PJs to bed 🥺

#kitten chats 🖤🐈‍⬛#kitten selfships 🖤🐈‍⬛ 💣 💚#this was fun thank you for asking foxxy 🥺

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anarcho-smarmyism · 1 year

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so this is our third season doing a vegetable garden and we could have a more productive harvest than last year. we're growing several tomatoes and peppers, attempting a watermelon patch (apparently they're very difficult to grow but 🤞🤞🤞), some wheat that he intends to use go brew a braggot, possibly some potatoes, onions and chives, and some herbs (lavender, mint, lemon balm, chamomile) I stole from Walmart. we've got a lot of work to do to prepare our backyard for it but ultimately we've collected enough compost since last season to completely replace the soil where we need to plant with soil rich in nutrients and earthworms, so considering we usually just are adding vegetables to pasta, soups, or stir fry, our goal of replacing 10% of our diet is theoretically achievable (very unlikely since losing some of the plants is pretty much inevitable). it's also something we can and do barter or share with our social circle here; my partner just brought a small amount of freshly grown basil toy cousin, since she's been having trouble finding basil in any grocery stores lately. someone my aunt knows has already given us a couple dozen eggs from her chickens, so I bet we could trade our ghost peppers and bell peppers for even more. the more food and goods we produce that keeps us from driving to the store to buy it, or that keeps someone in our social group from it, the better for the planet and local economy; plus gardening does wonders for our mental health, we get delicious fresh veggies, and we can provide high-quality goods that are starting to be unavailable or prohibitively expensive (last year we got the equivalent of perhaps $15 worth of produce over several months. that stuff would b almost twice as expensive now!). I'm still struggling to get my shit together enough to pay bills and keep our house clean, but soon I'll have the spoons to volunteer locally as well. until then I have to be content making my little quarter acre of rented land prettier, more fertile and welcoming to more types of plants, bring more pollinators to the area. There's a short pecan tree back there too, i got only 6 pecans from ot thos season, sweeter than any ive had before. this garden will have such a small impact on anything but a small number still isn't zero, you know?

#highly recommend vegetable gardens specifically its a good meditation on the circle of life without having to kill an animal for meat #much less difficult comparatively but you are still (often) killing and eating a livng thing that youve nourished and cared about for weeks #or sometimes months #doing what we can as individuals to be less reliant on capitalism and to help the environment....which isnot much tbh #hard to find anyone interested in lftist organizing here :/#gardening

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sizzlingpatrolfox · 1 year

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jokes aside do u think jikook had an actual fallout (platonic or otherwise) because it’s kind of odd that jimin has clearly been keeping him at an arm’s distance AND THATS FRICKIN JIMIN like im sorry but if jimin is keeping u at an arm’s length then u must have fcked up in some way lmao. i just dont see how they would go from hanging out regularly to essentially completely avoiding each other’s existence in a matter of month maybe it’s my conspiracy brain but something def went down behind the scenes

- For the first time in years (since last year actually) i do think its just jm that put a boundary and distance towards jk. So if a pjm jikooker is sad they shouldnt be at all when it's a high probability that jm's the one not wanting to hang out w jk. Considering their past, all the changes that happened in the recent years and all that jm said, I'd say his distance is not without a reason and would still make their past meaningful in relation all that they might've had that many of us used to think.

---

Not only about current times, but just in general all these years it has always been Jimin the one making all the difference between jikook being "good" or "bad". Jungkook was awkward, evasive, kinda cold and detached with Jimin for many years and people were always used to it, that was just who Jungkook was. Meanwhile the most minimum change from Jimin's end was usually alarming because Jimin was the opposite, at all times. I mean, it was "I get obsessive when he doesn't answer my phone calls" Jimin vs Jungkook, the one who didn't answer the phone. The difference was always clear to me.

I think it's mutual, tho. It's more noticeable from Jimin's side because of how contrary to the past his predisposition to Jungkook seems to be right now; but from everything we've known recently, where there's Jimin, there's no Jungkook. And where there's Jungkook, there's no Jimin. As I said in a post last week or something, it seems to be deliberate not in a conspiracy theory type of way but in the sense that they don't seem to be even trying to spend time together. The only time it's 100% sure they've hung out, was the couple of times they said all members gathered.

I don't know if a "fallout" in a bad way, but something has definitely changed. Mind you, it changed last year already, at least for me and I've been saying it since probably May 2022, that something was off. Now there's just more proof of that and more people are seeing it. I really don't believe anything terrible happened, tho. I mean, I don't know about anyone else but if I'd broken up with someone I was in love with, I would not be able to watch videos of them without breaking down and crying uncontrollably (been there done that). Yet Jungkook was just laughing while watching Jimin's videos the other day. So it's not like he reacts sadly to Jimin. But still, they don't share their lives the way they used to and it feels deliberate. It feels like this distance is something they want and have probably agreed on months ago.

And no, of course it doesn't change that they were special at some point in the past. BTS were a group, doing group concerts in April 2022 and in June they stopped. It doesn't mean that they were never BTS, their circumstances just changed. The same applies to Jimin and Jungkook.

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lovearne · 2 years

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legit i only have on request tho! maybe adrian/jake (either one) w a reader who has never had their first kiss before and asks him to teach them how to kiss??

First off, I lice this request sm!!!! The first kiss/teach me is one of my faves!!!! Second I really hope you enjoy it!!! I kinda jut threw it together :)

Pairing: Jake martin x gn reader

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: mentions of harm, blood, doctors, first kiss (I think that's all :)

Jake Martin, name of the man you are so head over heels for. Also the name of the flirtiest yet most clueless person you've met. His name is also synonymous with the best friend you could have. Even if he is a bit air headed, you love him all the same. You always teach him so much, and he's so grateful for that, he gives your cheek a kiss every time you help him. It's just a way to display how much he cares about you, and to thank you, without saying the words.

You two in every essence of the word are best friends. You don't have any secrets, he even knows that you've never been kissed. When you first told him, you were drunk, after a night out celebrating. You definitely had a few too many, and blurted it out to him. You asked then, if he'd kiss you just so you wouldn't go much longer without having your first kiss. He ultimately said no, but to ask him again when you've thought about it, and were sober.

The issue with that is you are afraid. Things are a lot scarier when you're sober. Months passed since then, and you've been on a couple dates with different men. But you've dodged any and all kisses, not wanting to give them your first kiss, confident in the fact that you wouldn't be good at it because you hadn't yet.

On your third date with the same man, he voiced his concerns about you blatantly ignoring when he'd go in for a kiss. You calmly explained that you just thought it was a very intimate gesture, and you'd only kiss someone after the third date. Apparently that satisfied the man, and he agreed. He told you that you were just too pretty not to kiss, and he was finding it a little odd you didn't want to kiss him. You faked a laugh as your phone rang. "Oh shit, I have to get that," your date nods in understanding. "He freaking what? Ok I'll be right there!" Looking at your date as you hang up, he frowns slightly. "Seems we've cut short, yeah?" You smile politely, internal panic rising, "I just gotta get to the hospital, Jake got hurt. He needs me, I'll talk to you later."

As soon as you get to the hospital you see Jake in the waiting area with Amir beside him. As soon as Jake sees you he's practically falling off his chair trying to wave you over. When you get over to them, you take Jake's chin in your hand and tilt his head every which way, "where did you get hurt Q?" He smiles at his nickname but winces at the light above his head, putting it back down. "I'm not hurt, Amir forced me here." Amir scoffs pretty loudly, "actually you are hurt, he fell and hit his head, the nurse said he likely has a concussion." Looking back at Jake, he's giving you the innocent puppy eyes, "how bad is your pain, and how long have you two been waiting for?" Jake smiles at you now, grabbing your hips and yanking you on his lap. "I'm not hurting anymore, and we've been waiting a while, but now you're sitting."

You move around on Jake's lap, getting comfy, this isn't the first time you've sat in this man's lap, and probably won't be the last. You are quite literally straddling him this time, the way he pulled you down, so you end up with his head against your shoulder cuddling him to you as he whines softly about how much it actually hurts. Just loud enough for you to hear. So you cradle his head in your hand, other one behind his back, rubbing it.

You hum at him and Whisper sweet words to him. "Just don't fall asleep, ok handsome?"

When the doctors finally bring you to the back, Jake is very sleepy, and very irritated that he had to get back up. Every test the doctor wanted to administer he was complaining. He'd get grouchy and jumpy. When it came to his blood test, just as precaution they are giving him a full physical. He wouldn't let the nurse poke him with the needle. He'd jerk his arm away and glare at him. Even Amir was getting frustrated. "Jake just sit down and let him stab you! You are stressing me out!" Jake's always been a bit fussy when it comes to things he doesn't like, "Well then you sit here and let the male nurse stab you, is this really needed?" He asked the nurse after. Still pulling his arm away.

"Sir, we really do need to get a full blood test to see if there's anything we are missing." Jake still shakes his head.

"No, absaloutley not, I'm not letting you stab me 4 million times to see I'm fine." Jake then watches as you pull the nurse aside, talking to him in a hushed tone. You walk towards him and hold your hand out. "Alright Q, make some room." He gives you his hand, uncrossing his arms as you move closer to him. You place one knee between on the outside of his left thigh, and one on his right. Sitting on his lap as you settle on the exam table, ontop of him.

Jake smiles broad at you, wrapping his arms around your waist and just hiding you there. "Why are you sitting on me for y/n?" You reach a hand to play with his hair, lightly scratching his scalp, "because Q, you need your blood drawn, and I'm gonna sit with you, ok? Nothing to be afraid of, they are going to get it in one shot, I promise." You kiss the tip of his nose, and he nods. Putting his arm out for the nurse to stick the needle in.

As you were waiting on the vials to be drawn, Jake keeps whispering questions to you. Just random thoughts he had, "do you still want me to teach you how to kiss?"

You smile at him, and looking into his eyes you don't feel nervous, not like with your date, and you agree. "Yes please, if you are up for it."

Later that day you drove Jake home, being as you knew he wasn't doing well with his head and motion today. "Y/n?" You turn to him in the kitchen, putting the milk back in the fridge. "May I kiss you now? I've been wanting to since you asked me the first time." You smile and nod, feeling his hand touch your cheek as he pushes his lips softly against yours, nice and soft. He encourages you to kiss him back, pushing on your cheek lightly with his thumb, so you match the pressure with your lips. After a few moments he pulls away, a silly little smile on his face, "so, what movie series should we watch? I was thinking maybe some marvel?" You just stans there looking at him in awe, your brain not functioning well.

Looks like you weren't gonna have a makeup date with that guy after all. You got somebody who loves you right there.

#jake martin x reader #jake martin #freddie stroma #freddie stroma x reader #the crew netflix #request #neptuneswritingwork #filled #arnes writing

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blxetsi · 3 years

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armin arlert, mikasa ackerman, and eren jaeger polyamorous headcanons (modern au)

armin arlert x gn!reader, mikasa ackerman x gn!reader, eren jaeger x gn!reader, mikasa x armin x eren x gn!reader

warnings: uhh fluff, this is very long, reader has a gf b4 getting w ema,

this is like my first post since feb that isnt a request 😍😍😍 how did i pull this out of my ass

- obv eren, mikasa, and armin have been besties since childhood so its no wonder they all got together first 🤩🙏

- and theyre all hot so why wouldnt they wanna date each other

- i think armin and eren wouldve gotten together first, and then invited mikasa into their relationship

- the three of them have been officially going steady for like over a year now, and its going really well

- they didnt really expect you to drop into their lives tho

- youre an old friend of historia's and you two reconnected after you moved to the city, securing yourself a decent paying job working as a writer for the city paper

- you usually get the boring stuff, never able to get a good story to write about, focusing your time on heartwarming stories in the community or the sports column

- its boring but it pays the bills

- you were thankful when historia called you during your lunch and asked if you wanted to get drinks at a bar with her and a couple of other friends

- of course you said yes

- so historia and her girlfriend ymir picked you up after work, having dinner with them after a long week was the best, but you were a bit nervous to meet all of their friends

- thats how you met eren, mikasa and armin

- at first you were sure that mikasa and eren were dating, seeing as mikasa had her head on the taller man's shoulder, while his arm was wrapped around her

- but when armin leaned down to give mikasa a kiss before heading off to the bar you werent so sure

- ymir pulled you away to get more drinks and explained to you what the situation was, while commenting on the way you gawked at the three of them before

- you were embarassed to say the least but they didnt bring it up that night so you hoped the throuple didnt notice (they did)

- you really hit it off with all of them though, especially sasha and jean, and were constantly talked about among the friend group

- because of your demanding job dealing with writers block and deadlines you couldnt really meet up with all of them often, usually just having sleepovers at ymir and historia's apartment, the three of you drinking while you wrote on your laptop

- after a couple months of casual hangouts with historia and ymir and their friends, you kinda became one of them too which was nice

- you were added to the groupchat, you all followed each other on social media, and a certain brunet had taken a liking to you

- eren didnt know why exactly he was so attracted to you but he was, maybe it was your hair, or how pretty your skin looked even when oily or with breakouts, maybe it was your smile or your body or your sense of humor or you kindness or maybe it was all of it

- eren jaeger would always stay faithful to his boyfriend and girlfriend, but maybe they could add another person into the mix, more to love right ?

- he had only known you for a couple of months though, he didnt want to jump the gun and bring this up with his partners so soon, especially if they didnt feel the same way he did

- and it would be a bummer if you turned out to be a bad person or smth

- so summer rolls around with lots of memories being made with your new friends, as well as friends from work, and you get a girlfriend ??

- shes not really your girlfriend you two have only been out on a couple of dates and she kisses you a lot but, you havent talked about labels

- one night you, along with your friends are back at the same bar where you first met them

"so, tell us about the girl youre seeing." ymir says, smirking over her beer.

eren's ears perked up at the mention of you seeing someone. "girl ?"

historia nodded. "mhm ! y/n's been talking to someone recently, they've gone on dates and kissed and stuff."

"and stuff, jesus tori you make it sound like we've had sex." you sighed.

the blonde just laughed, leaning her body onto her freckled companion.

"well ? what about her ?" eren asks. armin slapped him on the arm, already having suspicions about eren's interest in you.

your shoulders sagged. "well, she's great and everything, truly..."

"but ? is there a but in this ?" connie asked. sasha started laughing at connie's use of the word but, while jean slapped the girl on the arm because of her reaction.

you shrugged, swirling what was left of your fruity cocktail in your glass. "well, i'm not sure. she's very lively, and sweet. but i don't know, i just don't see myself being able to be in a steady relationship with her."

"so you're gonna end it ?" eren asked. you thought he seemed a bit too eager about your failure in the love department.

"why do you care so much ? you like the thought of me being lonely ?" you shot back, before downing the rest of your drink.

"no i just-"

"i think what eren means is," mikasa intervened, her smooth voice calming you as she looked at you with a smile on her face. "is that there's no point in staying with her if you can't see yourself with her. don't lead her on."

you nodded. "you're exactly right my friend. which is the plan for tonight because i," you quickly checked the time on your phone. 8:17. "have a date with miss molly at nine, so i will be taking my leave."

the group engaged in a chorus of boos for leaving so early, while you chuckled and took the lighthearted insults thrown at you by sasha and connie with ease. grabbing all of your things you put down two twenties onto the table. "i'll see you guys later, have a goodnight." as you walked off you heard jean yell "have a good time you heartbreaker !" making you shake your head

- the date with molly went less then well. she yelled, and cried, and even tried hitting you at one point. your walk back from the park was spent blocking her on every form of social media you followed her on, and when you got back to your apartment you spent the night in a hot bath before retiring to bed

- meanwhile, armin and mikasa were trying to pry the truth out of eren, who was constantly denying his attraction to you

- finally mikasa took one for the team "eren, you aren't alone with the way you feel, i do too." this made eren more willing to open up to his partners

- armin doesnt say anything about you, only saying how youre kind. he doesnt feel the way that his girlfriend and boyfriend do, but he knows that may change

- soon enough, more time flies and christmas rolls around, with you all deciding to have a secret santa get together.

- historia invites everyone to her home on christmas eve, with ymir begrudgingly allowing it

- bertholdt and annie come too, reiner not being able to make it due to going home for christmas, while everyone else decided to stay in the city

- you picked out your secret santas at the beginning of november so you would all have enough time to find something for each other, you hoped whoever picked your name gave you something good

- after hours of games and karaoke and drinking you all decided it was time to open the presents

- ymir got socks from bertholdt, connie got an ugly beanie from ymir, historia got new pens from mikasa, mikasa got knitting needles from annie, annie got a dumbell from eren, jean got a not so appropriate t shirt from connie, jean gave sasha more comic books, armin gave new stationary paper to bertholdt, sasha gifted you that new biography you've been wanting to read and you gave armin your old copy of frankenstein by mary shelley

- he was surprised but very thankful, "how did you know i needed a new copy ?" "well i remember you said eren spilt water on your old one, and the pages just stuck together so i thought you might as well have mine"

- it warmed armin's heart that you remembered something so insignificant, and opened him up to the thought of being with you

- the rest of the night was spent with hugs and thankfulness, cheering when the clock struck 12 and it became christmas day

- after getting things cleaned up everyone decided it was time to leave, with armin, eren and mikasa offering to give you a ride home

- a ride where armin straight up kissed you in the backseat

- you stopped him of course, thinking that it was weird he would cheat on his partners right in front of them, while they were shocked all on their own for different reasons, armin who didnt have feelings for you KISSED you

- and surprisingly armin took the lead in explaining how he felt, why he kissed you, an apology for doing so, and an offer to start dating all three of them

- your heart was pounding in your ears and your entire face felt hot, it was probably the alcohol, or the way his lips felt so soft when they touched yours, so you said yes.

- its not smooth sailing from there

- youre kind of awkward

- this is your first relationship where you really feel like you could love these guys (you already do) but its also your first relationship with multiple people

- the trio start inviting you over more often, soon for sleepovers, and start inviting themselves over at your own place, mainly eren

- he just comes at random times, sometimes when youre not even there and waits for you, or stays and cleans up a bit before leaving

- armin and you share a deep love of literature, and you often find yourselves in hot debates about whatever youve read (mikasa and eren have to pry you two away before things get physical)

- mikasa likes to cook with you, she shares recipes that her mom taught her, and her and armin love to cook dinner together whereas eren is the breakfast maker of the household

- the first time you slept in the same bed as them you were so nervous your whole body thumped to the tune of your heartbeat, you were convinced armin could even hear it as he was laying beside you, but eren wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you into his large chest before whispering "youre as stiff as a board, relax honey"

- eren snores, mikasa drools, armin has those dreams where you fall and then violently wake up before you hit the ground

- slowly but surely you stop thinking about your relationship as the trio and you, but as all of you together, and that really helps you come out of your shell a bit

- you may still be in the honeymoon phase, and there may be bumps along the way, but you like being with armin, eren, and mikasa. they make you so happy, it feels like the happiest youve been in a long time

- you like watching eren and armin dance in the living room while you and mikasa cuddle on the couch, before the boys pull you two up as well

- you like when armin reads to you, his soft voice reciting the words of the great gatsby

- you like it when eren can just tell youve had a rough day, and pulls you into a hug like hes protecting you from all the bad things in the world

- you love being with them. you love them. and you think that theyre it for you

i rushed the ending bc im fucking tired but i kinda wanna do a poly!series with like sasha, connie and jean, or annie, bertholdt and reiner, or any other poly ships u guys may request !

so yeah pls give me feedback it rlly helps me figure out whether you want a polyamorous series (or just like what i write in general), and it would be my first series ever which would be super cool anyways

yeah requests open for poly!ships anyways

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sunflauer · 2 years

Text

I NEVER WROTE ABOUT VALENTINE'S DAY

okay so

I woke up at around 9am and placed the cookies I baked for him inside the Tupperware ↓↓

And when he came to pick me up at 10am, I opened the door and we both went "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!" me with the Tupperware with cookies and him with a red rose on his right hand.

I DIED ON VALENTINE'S DAY AT 10:01AM

anyways, I put the rose in water and he took me on the adventure I had been waiting for.

We walked to the train station and I gave him his valentine's day present: the little bell that says "ring for a kiss" and kisses in an envelope.

To this day, this boy won't stop ringing the bell and I love him for that.

We took the train and listened to music on the ride, the playlist I'd made for him a few months ago. Once we arrived, he took me to this coffee shop that I love and that we've never been to together and we ordered a salmon bagel and a strawberry smoothie.

We then walked around this wonderful park, one of the biggest we know. I even remember the first time we saw it on a bus ride and he said "we should sit down there some time" and we've done it a few times since then :)

anyways so, we finally sit down at this little park bench and we eat the cookies that were about to melt and talk about life and about the people that crossed our path. we then saw this beautiful couple dancing ↓↓

and another couple of people boxing a few feet away lol. that felt magical to watch and listen to :)

after recording that, we walked a little further hoping to find a sprinklers-free spot so that we could sit down for a while. and we found the perfect spot under a tree.

we kept listening to our music as we played cards and laughed at how bad we were playing. he then took the notebook, the one I'd made for him almost 7 months ago and began reading the new things I added to it as I took out the massive bagel sandwich. eating that bagel was the most disgusting thing I've ever done in front of him.

"we're so gross" I said with cream cheese on my lips

"does that bother you?" he asked with sesame seeds on his chin.

"not at all :)"

we cleaned our faces as we kept reading the book for a little while, laying down on the blue blanket and facing the sky.

literally, our UP moment

the best part about this moment is that he showed me this little video he had made a few days before. a video of us, our memories, saying how much he loved me and cared about me. And I assure you, I'm still dying over that.

after eating and reading, we kept on walking around the park, exploring and looking at the couples we found along the way. he kept on pushing me towards the sprinklers but I had my good dress on and I didn't want to get wet... at first hehe.

"meh screw it. it's too hot" *walks up to the sprinkler*

we kissed as the water fell on us and I think that was kind of like a movie moment :)

"so ... what now? what is the next stop?" I asked. And I think he had no idea what to do next lol. We were thinking of going to the rose garden, BUT IT WAS CLOOOOOOSED (such a bummer)

so we started to walk around, hoping to find the river, but we only got more tired and made our feet hurt. so we took the train back to his apartment and we played a little.

we then had some tea with pastries as we watched Gilmore Girls (yes, I made him watch it and I'm pretty sure he likes it :) )

and then

*dramatic music*

he began to fill a bit sick. even if it was just a headache, I'd never seen him like that. (the cute part was that he fell asleep next to me tho♡) he felt so bad that we didn't have dinner. he took an aspirin and we just laid there together until my sister came to pick me up at 10pm, when he miraculously recovered and apologized for the whole thing. poor creature.

I liked my first valentine's day. I think I have to plan next year's valentine's tho... any suggestions?

#valentine's day #falling in love #love #he's too sweet for this planet #HE GAVE ME A ROSE

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belovedholland · 3 years

Text

New year, new us

》 summary: You and Tom at a new years eve party, what will happen on this night with your crush?

pairing: Tom x reader

warning: None

w/c 2.5k

I had layed everything out on my bed, make-up, hair things, my outfit, asessories and all the things that me and Lucy would need to get us ready with. Lucy were coming over so we could get ready together, but mostly just to help me get ready. I have not really been the type of person to dress up, or to wear loads of make-up, even tho I had a lot. Guess when you don't know what to give a girl, you give make-up.

Lucy has always liked dressing up, not in a girly way, in a more sexy way, and with her being "the sexy one" she always have the boys all over her. Even tho the boys try to get with her, she hasn't actually had that many boyfriends, but still more than me, if you couldn't already guess that. I don't really mind tho, I'm more down to earth if you could say that. I don't mind not getting attention, but I also don't mind it when I do get it, I know, weird.

A little under a year ago, Lucy started dating Harrison Osterfield. When they made it official, I can tell you she gained a lot of followers, since he was a famous model. I met Harrison, or Haz as we all call him, around two weeks after they started dating. I gained a good amount of followers, after Haz one time posted a picture with me in it, and tagged me.

I hung out with Lucy and Haz a lot at first since Lucy is my best friend, and because I didn't wanna be lonely, yeah I had other friends, but none were as Lucy. But I felt way to much like a third weel, so I gave them some space, which they needed too. I still hung out with Lucy when Haz had work.

Around two months into them dating I met Tom. He had been away filming for one of his movies, so I hadn't met him untill then. Tom and I didn't really speak at all. We only hung out at parties with Lucy and Haz, but at those parties we became closer and soon we were this group of four that always hung out, and we all became the best friends. Then Tom and I began hanging out when Lucy and Haz were together on dates or whatever.

Lucy posted a picture of the four of us at the beach. Some people assumed Tom and I were a couple, which made things between us really awkward, and Tom said we were friends met trough Haz and Lucy, and there was nothing between us. He was right, we were just friends, truely, we were just friends, no hidden feelings at all, not at that point at least.

Me and Tom became closer, he became my best boy-friend. And yeah I wouldn't mind if there wasn't a hyphen in that word. He became my crush. I tried not to make anything awkward when we were together, but I didn't even have to try, I could always be myself around him, he made me the better version of myself.

When I told Lucy about my crush on Tom, she was overly excited. She couldn't stop talking about it. She kept talking about how cute we would look together, and how much she wanted us to be together even before she found out I liked him. She always gave me those looks when I was around Tom, the look saying "You should make a move" or the "You guys look so cute together", I always just shrugged my shoulders or made the "shut up" look.

--♡--

The sound of my door opening, brought me back to life, from almost reliving the last year. I already know it's Lucy, and she doesn't even need to knock, I gave her one of my spare keys, just like I have one of hers. We've practiclly been living at each others flats, since we got them, we almost decided to get one together, but didn't for some reason. Tho I stopped bursting into her flat, when she was around five months into her and Haz' relationship, you never know what they might be doing.

"Lets get started!" She practically screamed from the hallway while making her way into my home.

"You sure is excited." I giggled as she made a funny face standing in my doorway.

"You bet I am" She joined my laugher as she made her way to my bed placing down a bag of clothes and some other stuff.

"All I could think we would need, but knowing you, you have all the things I forgot." I gestured my overloaded bed.

"Well I know something we won't need." She lifted my outfit which I had folded nicely. She trew my clothes to the other side of my room, then getting into her bag to pull out a short dress covored in sparkles.

"No way I'm wearing that." I was suprised she even thought I would wear it, I mean it was really pretty, and it was not to far away from my style. It was just a little to much. Not even a little to much. Just to much.

"Yes your are. You'll look stunning in it." Maybe I would, but I didn't have the same comfident as her.

"I can't wear that, and you know it. First of all I don't even like dresses. Second, it's a little to much don't you think. Third, I don't have the comfident."

"First, you do sometimes at special occation, which this is. Second, it's definetly not to much, it's new years. Third, yes you do, you just have to find it, you'll look amazing. And fourth, do it for Tom." My eyes grew at first then they rested in the anoyed way.

"Can't you stop with that?" She never stops.

"No. You two should really get together. Just magine, we could go on cute double dates, to best friends dating a pair of best friends."

"That's just cliche."

"Who cares if it's cliche, it would still be cute. This is your chance, kiss him at midnight." She got super excited just with the thought of it happening, which I knew it never would.

"No I could never, besides, he doesn't even like me back." I shook my head looking down at my messy bed.

"Try, maybe he does."

"No, and I'm not wearing that dress either." I said sternly to make sure she understood.

"Either you kiss Tom or you were that dress. You gotta do one of them, for me, for the new year." She said while giving me the "you have to" eyes, I hated when she did that, she would always win, no matter what.

"Fine, gimme the dress."

--♡--

"What?!" I was mad, when I saw Lucy pulling up her outfit for the night, a shirt and trousers.

"Ok I know you're mad, that I'm not wearing a dress when you have to, but I already have a boyfriend, and you have to impress you're soon-to-be boyfriend."

"Well we can always dream, but that's still not ok." I said a little annoyed.

--♡--

"Ouch." After around 45 minutes, the last thing back before being all ready, was curling my hair, which hurt when Lucy kept burning me lightly.

"Sorry. We're almost done." She backed away from me, admiring her work. "Done."

I was wearing the dress with light make-up. The smallest amount of foundation, just right under my eyes. Highlighter on the tip of my nose and in the inner corner of my eyes. Mascara, and a clear lipcloss with a few sparkles in it.

Then I was wearing a pair of heels and we had painted our nails white as the last touch. Not gonna lie, we looked hot.

--♡--

We arrived at the new years party, one of our friends were hosting. Haz had texted Lucy while we were in the car, saying him and Tom were the garden. We greeted our friends, as we made our way trough the enormous living room, out to the trying to the garden. We were met by the light breese of air as we walked outside, looking for the boys. Out of the cornor of my eyes, I saw Lucy waveing at someone, so I guessed she found the boys.

She slowly dragged me over to where the boys were standing. As we came closer, she let go of my hand to run into her boyfriends arms. I got my balance back, and my eyes met Tom's. He looked really amazing. Everything he would wear always suited him, even if it was just a pink hoodie and grey joggings.

*TOM'S POV*

Haz and I were waiting, in the back garden, for the girls to show up. Haz texted Lucy, that we were waiting in the garden for them to easier find us. I was looking at my phone when Haz hit my arm with his elbow, saying I should see something. I left my eyes from my phone, they followed to a pair of high heels going over to us. My eyes followed the heels up her body. Up the shining legs, up to the thighs were a dress started, to the formed hips, slim waist, chest, shoulders, neck, jaw. Up to

Y/n's stunning face. I had never seen Y/n in a dress before, never seen her body, her forms. My jaw was down to the floor. She was breathtaking. My crush on her just became 10x bigger. My eyes decided for another round. Looking up and down her perfect body. I couldn't stop looking at her. Luckily she wasn't looking at me staring.

I wanted to kiss her tonight, more than anything, but I had always been scared. What if she doesn't feel the same? What if I ruin our friendship? What if she never want to see me again? But. What if she do feel the same? What if I don't ruin our friendship? What if she do want to see me again? What if we become a couple? That's really all I've thought about after meeting her.

*Y/N'S POV*

"Hi." I went in for a hug, and Tom gave it back.

"Hey, you look good." I blushed a little.

"You too." I let go of the hug, and turned to Lucy and Haz. "Should we get a drink?" I asked, and I felt like a pair of eyes were on me, but I had no idea whose eyes.

"Definetly." Lucy grabbed Haz' hand and ran away to get drinks, leaving me and Tom alone. While running away, she looked back at me and winked, I knew exactly what she was trynna do. She was going to leave me and Tom alone the whole night.

"And then there were two." I turned back to face Tom, as I heard him.

"Well come let's get drinks." I noded my head to idoors, and we got some drinks. We couldn't see Lucy and Haz anywhere. I was a little mad at Lucy for leaving me and Tom alone, but I couldn't do anything about it, besides, Tom and I are amazing friends, so it wasn't awkward just being the two of us. We had been just the two of us so many times, we just became closer and more comfortable around eachother, even if I had a hug crush on him.

--♡--

"Wanna dance?" Tom put his hand out for me after we finished drink number two.

"Sure!" We danced for some time, just in front of eachother singing to the music, and getting a couple of more drinks. We danced and danced having a good time. We had gotted around four drinks each. We weren't drunk, just a little tipsy. Around two more drinks and I would start getting drunk, Tom probably needed three or four more.

As we danced more and more, we also began getting closer. Occasionaly Tom would hold my waists while dancing, and I would hold his arms. His strong strong arms. His strong biceps.

"FIVE MORE MINUTES!" We heard someone scream over the music.

"Come with me." Tom took my hand and dragged my outside to the garden.

"Where are we going?" I questioned him, as he went past everyone. He didn't answer he just kept going. I just followed him, curious to where he was taking me, and why. He dragged me to a part of the garden that was hidden from the rest by some threes. It was super beautiful, it was kinda like a magical garden, pretty flowers, fairy lights, and ths open sky where you could see the full moon shinning along with the stars.

"It's beautiful. How did you know of this place?"

"Haz, he told me about it."

"10!"

He took a step closer to me.

"9!"

One more step, so we were right in front of eachother.

"8!"

He hold took one hand of mine his, while he placed his other hand on my cheek, caressing it.

"7!"

His hand went down from my cheek to my neck, then shoulder, I keep looking at his hand that ran all the way down to hold my other hand.

"6!"

He led my hands up to his shoulder, keeping his eyes on me the whole time.

My hands now laying on his shoulders.

"5!"

His now free hands slowly grabbed my waist, which gave me goosebumps at the touch.

"4!"

He took the last step, placing one of his legs between mine, his one hand moving to my back, the other still on my waist.

"3!"

He then dipped me down. His other hand moved to my my left thigh, where the slit in my dress were, holding up my leg to the side his body.

"2!"

My hands moved around his shoulders, laying on his neck. Pulling him closer. Feeling his soft hair.

"1!"

All space between us were closed, except for our faces that were less that an inch apart.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Then our soft lips on one anothers. Kissing passionately, like it was the last kiss ever. We kept kissing as he lifted me up, but still holding me just as close, scared to let go of me. Now standing in front of eachpther kissing and holding tight, exploring each other with our hands. All out of breath we pulled apart, and layed our foreheads against the other.

"Wow," I said, still breathing heavily, "no one has ever kissed me like that before."

"I really like you."

"I really like you too, Tom." We went in for a new kiss, but neither of us could stop smiling.

--♡--

"So? Did our plan work or do you guys hate each other now?" I was about to answer when Tom pulled me in for another kiss, giving them the answer they had hoped for. Finally. Finally we were together. Finally we kissed. Best way to start the new year.

#tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland one shot #tom holland story #tom holland fluff #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland x reader

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san-station · 4 years

Text

Come home • Hwang Hyunjin

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Reader

WARNING: kinda angst?

↝Word count: 2k

A/N: Imagine it's around 1940 - 1950

You were slowly dancing in the living room, all alone, while the jazz music from the record player flowed through the house into your ears, making you breath in a small bubble of nostalgic and happiness. Your beloved friend, Seungmin, was taking care of your children, well informed of the special evening so you decided to embrace yourself with your traditional ritual.

You arrived home pretty late, tired of working all day, although, the warm feeling of your home inviting you to relax on that special day was very promising, so nothing could stop you from opening that bottle of red wine, taking off your hurtful shoes and setting the music up. It brought you a bit of tranquility in a whole industrialized country where working was the first priority for safety.

You glanced at every little detail around you, the shelves where pictures and some toys rested, paintings that your children did gathered over the floor, promises made on those walls that will never be true… and so, you finally saw it. It was a small velvet box covered with a few dust particles. You slowly stepped near it and grabbed it with your free hand.

You sighed and opened.

It’s a special evening, you remembered.

“March 20th.

Today is a special day, right? How are you doing? Are you eating well? This nostalgic is sickening the walls from our place, darling. Can you imagine the green walls getting darker and darker each time we say your name? We know you probably won’t read this on time but… happy birthday! It’s the first one away from us… How does it feel? Do you miss us? Sure you do, mister 'I love mi family so much I'll die for them'. That letter was cute, to be honest.

Anyway, remember we’re happy for you! Oh, and Rodie wrote a poem for you, it says ‘One day I’ll be tall, one day I’ll be strong, one day I’ll be like you, that day might be soon’. Isn’t it cute?! He misses you so much, I really hope you’re okay. Stay safe and you’ll come home very soon.

Yours forever,

Y/N ”

“April 19th.

Today, Rodie wanted to go stargazing, he said he saw a shooting star and wished you were here. Then, he cried because he was pretty sure that saying the wish out loud won’t make it happen, but I made sure to let him know that we will see you soon, Jinnie! You know... while I looked at the stars, all I could think was you, you and your beauty, you and your kindness, you and only you...

Your eyes are watching the same sky as we are, did you know? So basically we’re all stargazing together! We still have this, tho haha.

You’re the brightest star of all the galaxy, darling. Also, thanks for your letter and the little poem, Rodie was bragging about it at school all the week, even the teacher said he should stop but he’s a proud boy showing how much you care about him.

Anyway, stay safe.

Yours forever,

Y/N.”

“April 27th

I got fever for the whole week, Jinnie, my sister took care of me the whole time, don’t worry! Yet, as I was sleeping with the delusional heat, I suddenly felt your warm arms around my waist, back hugging me while we sleep. I could listen to your heartbeat, and I was trying to match mine with yours. And I heard you whispered that you'll be here soon! Was it all a dream? I wish you were here.

Sometimes I dream you’d touch my belly and ask if I'm doing okay, if we are doing okay. And I’d say that you don’t need to worry about the growing life that’s getting stronger everyday inside of me, we've been through this before, this is just another round!

I didn’t want to wake up, however, Rodie asked to write you something again since we didn’t received a response from the previous one. He says ‘Dad! Did you know that elephants can’t jump?! And that pandas can be 12 hours eating?! I once ate for three hours because mom’s food is awful but I couldn’t throw it away, I love her too much... When are you coming home? Uncle Chan just arrived and he said he was with you for a couple of days but you had to go to another place… Where are you know? Take care, goodnight, Dad!’

He learned a lot today… I hope you’re doing fine and come home soon, love. We’ll wait for your letter.

Yours forever,

Y/N and Rodie.”

“May 14th

Your best friend Chan came home today, he says I’m getting fatter and I almost punched him in the face. Well, he’s not wrong, I hope you’d be here when the time comes.

Some days I miss you more than others, but some days I miss myself more than you… I can’t recognize myself in the mirror if you’re not here, my love. Rodie wakes up every morning asking for his daddy but he knows you’re doing your best. Be safe, Jinnie… We love you.

Yours forever,

Y/N. "

“May 25th

Once again I’m standing here with my tainted fingers, today is colder than yesterday but warmer than the day before… I keep searching for answers to an unsaid question, and all I can think about is you, your soft lips against my cheeks, your bright smile making my heart skip beats, your loud laugh catching everyone’s attention, your sweet voice asking me to dance with you even if there was no music playing… Gosh, even if you're not here I fall in love more and more with you. I miss you...

We’re waiting for you, my love. It’s been a while since we got one of your letters but I’m certain you’re getting ours… We love you! Come home!

Yours forever,

Y/N.”

“June 30th

Today… Today was a nightmare, Hyunjin. I couldn't bring myself to write this but ... I found a letter at the mail station a month ago, it was from someone called Seungmin, he said you worked together for a while… I waited a month to write this but here it is.

I’ll never forget you for doing this, Hyunjin. My heart is broken, I don’t think my tears will ever stop from falling, I feel like dying whenever I look at your pictures and… I can’t do this anymore. Even when I know you’ll never read this, I need to write to you because, someday, this feelings would get to you in a way, meanwhile, I’ll let myself suffer because of what you did...

Yours,

Y/N.”

“July 6th

I yelled at Rodie today… He was demanding to see you but I can’t, not now. Chan visited us, he told me to stay strong but how? Does he even know how much a broken heart can swell and tear you apart from the pain? Does he know how difficult it is to breath when your chest is constantly on fire? It’s killing me inside every second, Hyunjin. I don’t want this, I don’t like to feel this way when I know you can’t feel anything… I don’t want to tell Chan how I feel… I… I’m broken because of you.

Y/N.”

“July 13th

My sister looked at my belly and she cried… You made my sister cry, Hwang Hyunjin… You make me cry every single time of the day… I know you probably would be so sad knowing this, knowing you’re the reason I walk numbly from a place to another, the reason why Rodie can’t sleep, the reason why Chan and my sister have to take care of us. I said I don’t need their help but they insisted, they always do.

Now we’re having a beautiful dinner with your favorite food, my speciality… I miss you, and I know someday I’ll feel better, but right know I want to die slowly and painfully, it would hurt less than this mess.

Y/N.”

“July 19th

I finally stopped crying, Jinnie… but everything feels wrong. It feels… empty… my heart…

Rodie won’t talk to me anymore after we fought, he speaks more to Chan than me. I don’t know what to do and I know you won’t answer, but… what should I do?

Oh, we met Seungmin today, he visited us supresily. He’s kind. He told us about your stories together. After he left, I cried one more time… Listening how considerate you were with him… I love you.

You know? This is not what I asked for. If you would ask, I would give all for rewriting an ending or two for the family that I knew, for the girl I used to be… For being yours one more time.

Yours forever?

Y/N.”

“September 16th

Hi… Her name is Sam. Did you remember when we were joking about that name? I must say, she deserves that name. She looks like me, but she has your little mole below her eye and I kissed it, they same way I used to kiss yours. Congratulations, Jinnie, you have a daughter! (...)”

The music stopped playing a while ago, and the only sound filling the house was your little sobbs reminiscing the whole escenario.

“Ugh…

I can’t do this anymore... “

“December 24th

Rodie wrote a letter to Santa. He asked for his dad, he asked to turn back time and stopped this, but he realized destiny is very machiavellian and sometimes, wishes won’t come true.

By the way… Your friend Seungmin, he volunteered to take care of us, he said he owned you this for saving his life one time, he’s really generous. He saw how lonely I was and he’s trying to put a smile on my face, but only Sam and Rodie can do that. Sam, Rodie and you.

The idea of you still next to us as a family... that hunts me everyday. How beautiful would that be? Sam would climb to your back till she can see everything from your height. Rodie would make me chase him and ask for ice cream, and I’ll eventually buy ice cream for everyone… Hyunjin, I miss you so freaking much… this is just so unfair...

Yours forever,

Y/N, Rodie and Sam.”

“December 31st

Hyunjin, happy new year… The war is over! I miss you more than I miss the old me, now, when I look at the mirror, sometimes I don’t even know who’s the one in front of me, all I know is that my heart belongs to you and will always be yours. Sam is getting bigger every month! She started to make weird baby noises trying to repeat my voice. Also, she loves music! She moves her little body when we play music.

We all wish you were here. This is the first December without you. I can't keep asking you this because is impossible... Come home, baby.

Missing you,

Your family. "

“February 14th

Rodie got lots of candies from a lot of girls and boys in his class! They said he looked like his handsome father and they’re not lying, my love. Happy Valentine's Day.

This is going to be one of the last letters I’ll write for you, not because I don’t love you anymore, ok? It’s because I think it’s time to keep the good memories we made in my head, my safeplace. And writing this is a reminder of you being gone. I don't like that, you're here with me.

I took Sam and Rodie to the first place we met, the college cafeteria! Rodie hated it for a second, then he got a lot of attention and felt like the prince he is. Sam slept all the time placed in my chest, I love her… she’s so calm… I wish she knew how much her father loved her without even being born… We love you, Hyunjin.

Yours forever,

Hwang Family.”

“March 20th

Happy birthday, my love!

I know you can’t love me anymore, but you did it once and, for me, it meant the whole world. So, now. my love for you stays still as if it was the first time we said ‘I love you’... I was shaking so much that day… Thank you for loving me the way you did, thank you for giving me the opportunity to raise a family next to you. You’re gone, but you’ll always be in our hearts and minds, I’ll be sure to talk to Sam about you non-stop.

You broke my heart by losing your life that day. I know it was for your country… that doesn’t mean you lost your family or friends, we will always remember your laugh, your face, your warmth, your cute smile, your bright eyes, the ways words came easily from your mouth, the way you showed your love so intense, the way you existed was... wholesome.

I love you, Hwang Hyunjin… And, like the old times…

Please,

Come home.

Your one and only.”

(....)

Masterlist

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rosesanthology · 4 years

Text

Escape Plan | Matsukawa Issei x F!Reader [mafia!AU]

This took me SO MUCH TIME to write aaaaaah it's not surprising that it's so long :0 i just have many many feelings for Matsukawa Issei ALSO im begging y'all to listen to the playlist before/as you read please !!

Im kinda pissed that i cant add a "read more" option since im on mobile tho :\

(Also ngl at first i planned to get one of the 2 shot but i didn't have the heart to go thru with it)

Warnings : Fluff, it starts with humor but at some point it gets angsty ???? Idk y'all tell me

- Au that could be considered as a ennemies-to-lovers type of situation

[Tags] : @raevaioli and @haikoo like i cannot stress this enough @haikoo this your main manz

- if you could only use one sentence to describe your job to a Karen it would be : stealing from the rich in order to trick other rich people

- you had been what the people would call a spy for most of your life now, the Tokyo based Nekoma Organisation being something close to a family

- you worked with both of your very good friends, Kuroo Testurou and Kozume Kenma

- Kuroo, the leader of your little squad, had been the first one to open up to you when you joined

- he was a gifted chemistry genius and you were sure he could make any poison or soporific out of the most random stuff

- he also had insane combat and physical abilities which made him fit to act in a lab as well as on mission grounds

- Kenma was a little more reserved at first, he was the same age as you but still was really reluctant to accept you as one of his own at first

- when he saw how much Kuroo trusted you and how interested you were in his work he slowly but surely found himself caring for you

- to put it simply Kenma, better known as "apple pi" was a hacker. His job ranged from creating computer viruses to full on enabling the security of whole museums

- despite his cute appearance and shy demeanor he was probably the scariest of you three

- finally, you Y/L L/N was the infiltration and weapons expert of the group, you could weild literally anything from guns, to swords to,,,,,metal rods (but you don't wanna talk about this one) and you were of great help when deciding which infiltration angle was the best in missions

- Kuroo, under the orders of Boss Nekomata, quickly taught you the dangers and ways of the job during your first months working with them, the organisation specializing in outsmarting rich bastards and stealing their precious ressources in order to make "better use of them"

- if they were hoarding a particularly efficient brand of medicine, your goal was to steal it all, and sell it to people in need for free or a low price

- if they were in possession of some important object like let's say,,,,,the construction plans for the emperor's new vacation house, you stole it, made copies to sell at a high price to the highest bidder and your good affiliate, the Fukurodani Corporation would keep an eye on the original as part of their personnal collection, you were fine with that

- yeah they were others organisations like that in Tokyo, your friends from the Fukurodani Corp of course but also the Shiratorizawa elite crime group with who you had worked a couple times before

- ah and there was the Yakuzas too....honestly they were the only group in Tokyo with whom you were still on dangerous terms with

- they didn't like Nekoma in their affairs and you didn't like them in yours, but you tolerated each other

- your boss had established a truce with the representant of the big Yakuza group of your area, Kondo "the viper" Takara, a truly scary woman who had blasted her way to the one of the top positions of the hierarchy

- she even had a cool nickname ヾ(｀ε´)ノ

- but you knew better than to mess with them

- all in all y'all kept doing your jobs well, not bothering anybody

- except for one remaining rivalry with some Miyagi group

- the Aoba Johsai Institution.

- well, rivalry would be a strong word because you kinda got along with that Iwaizumi guy, he was a great hand to hand combat fighter and you respected that

- the others however ? Trash. 👁3👁

- they seem to act like Tokyo will be their territory in the next 5 seconds flat like ??

- THEY DON'T EVEN GO THERE ????

- "they be acting like they can just swoop in and eat OUR rich" you had told Kuroo and Kenma one day over ramen

- spoiler alert : it was a bad idea cause Kuroo snorted and almost made the noodles go up his nose

- no but seriously they always seemed to take advantage of YOUR missions to attract attention

- how did they even know which missions you were on anyway ??? (Kenma and Kunimi are actually good friends cause they play video games together but he'd never tell you that)

- it's like that one time you infiltrated a business company's heir's residence and then you came across a dude named Hanamaki and you had the HARDEST time whisper shouting to him how blowing up the whole place was a bad idea to retrieve one (1) diamond

- at the end you felt so tired that you gave it to him anyway ಥ_ಥ ("just take it ffs" "really ??" "Don't make me regret this")

- they also had the single worst person ever on one of their teams.

- Matsukawa Issei

- just thinking about it made you want to take your metal bat and break something in your shared room with your two other friends

- seriously that guy was like the epitome of clownery

- he's also supposed to be his team's gun expert except that's not the best task for someone who refuses to take anything with him but his freaking FISTS

- the first time you had met y'all ended up being on the same case to assassinate some guy who had kidnapped some cute freckled kid from a place in Miyagi called Karasuno

- EXCEPT HE WAS IN TOKYO SO IT WAS YOUR DUTY !!! NOT HIS !!!!

- you had Kenma on the earbud telling you about the guy's position in the club you were currently one street away from. You were posted on the rooftop of a building with a sniper rifle ready to get done with it and go save the kid but GUESS WHO COMES IN FISTS SWINGING WHEN YOU LITERALLY HAD THE TARGET IN SIGHT

- and he had the nerve to look straight toward your rifle's aim and flip you off while smirking

- sir you're about to catch these hands🚶🏽

- he had knocked him out alright and he got the young boy out but you were NOT ready to let that slide so you quickly got down and crossed path with him at the back exit of the club

- "what exactly do you think you were doing in there ?" Listen. You may have sounded confident enough saying that but you had NO idea that this dude was like a whole ass giraffe

- and he knew he was tall so he had the audacity to say

- "sorry can't hear you so well from down there midget, i was just doing my job (▰˘◡˘▰)" if it weren't for the karasuno boy being right there you would have stabbed his kneecaps on sight

- anyway after that y'all just seemed to run into each other wayyyy too often

- insults were shared just as often tho

- "well butter my buns and call me betty broker if it isn't my sweet little midget shooting people !"

- "stfu before i choke you"

- "kinky but can you reach my neck ?"

- "you've sunk low enough"

-so yeah f u n t i m e s

- aside from that, business was going great but Kuroo had had news of a very important mission for you but he insisted on letting Boss Nekomata tell you about it himself for some reason

- he'd never done that :(

- you were kinda hurt that your best friend was hiding stuff from you tbh :(

- and Kenma did not seem to know more than you for now

- so you spent a whole week just mopping around

- sometimes you would go and poke fun and the newbie Lev Haiba but it wasn't the same

- Kuroo and Kenma kept working on missions while you were left waiting for that one assignment that Nekomata seemed to keep you for

- until today when Kuroo finally told you that the boss was requesting you in his office

- ngl you were EXCITED

- maybe you would have to zipline down the Tokyo tower (σ≧▽≦)σ maybe he was going to let you take a chainsaw with you this time (σ≧▽≦)σ

- maybe he- "oh" you deadpanned, stepping foot into the office and seeing none other than your arch nemesis, Matsukawa Issei in all his pisces clown glory

- "why tf are you there shitty eyebrows"

- "i had a good day too Y/N ! thanks for asking :D" today was the day. You were 100% ready to kill him and the knife that was attached to your thigh strap seemed like such a good option rn-

- "stop it you two. Y/N take a sit" Nekomata gestured, as you didn't hesitate to listen to your superior even fully aware of Mattsun's eyes annoyingly following your every movement

-"Okay so. Y/N i know you may be wondering why Matsukawa's here but to put it simply we've been informed that a rich family have gotten their hands on one of Aoba Johsai's rarest item : a gold engraved katana that belonged to their first boss"

- "so what do you need us for ?" You didn't mean to use "us" but you knew better than to piss off your boss, he was like a parental figure come on

- "i need you guys to infiltrate an auction held by said family and steal it back in the span of one week. It's up to you to work together or not but keep in mind that our arrangement states that we're autorised to make copies of the katana for future sells."

- you guys nodded, after all you were professionnals before everything and you were about to leave when Nekomata put something on the table

- "here are the keys to your appartment near the auction site it'll be your hideout !"

-.....now this had to be a cruel joke-

- "id rather sleep under a bridge then live with her for a whole week"

- "wow this is the first time we agree on something Mattsun" the oh so familiar nickname dripped in venom as you said it, unsure of what was supposed to happen

- "oh yes you could but i suppose that you don't have the supplies and tools that you will definitely need during that mission :)"

- you locked eyes with the brunette for a minute before reluctantly stomping to the table and grabbing hold of the keys and adress written on a paper, storming out of the door, letting out a loose "come on shitty eyebrows we have data to collect" to your new....partner ? Ugh it was about to be a long week

- it turns out the appartment was a lot smaller than you hoped for, with two single person beds, a computer post and different storing purposed furniture

- it was a common thing however, because the last thing an undercover spy would want is to draw attention with a flashy hideout

- the first step was to gather information on who would be at the auction which shouldnt be too hard

- "hey ill take the lead and contact my friend so that he can determine who is going to be here" you said as you sat on the chair in front of the computer

- "mm yeah you do that ill check what kind of weapons have been provided to us" Mattsun had no difficulty finding them as the drawers well full of them....this was very promising

- Kenma had just sent you the list of people that had been invited to the event, and you recognised many names as being members of the powerful Yakuza group lead by Konda Takara, of course.....the infamous viper herself

- you called out to Mattsun to show him and briefly explained what they were up too and how they usually fonctionned

- the auction was to take place the last 3 days after an opening party, leaving the rest of the week for preparations

- they usually took their time in comitting their crimes so you thought that stopping them mid plan by taking advantage of it was the best way to get the sword

- Mattsun didn't have anything to say for the moment, seemingly thoughtful about the whole situation

- "just so you know" you started, already regretting the decision of talking in your head, "i don't plan on being friends with you anytime soon but i feel like for this we should at least try not to rip each other's hair out"

- "i never planned on that second option"

- "huh ?"

- "i hope you know that we've never had a single conversation without insults of some kind before so for the sake of both of us it would be better to actually get to know each other since we're supposed to work together"

- you hated to admit it

- but he was right

- however you didn't comment on it, opting for throwing him a dry "let's sleep" before plopping yourself on your own bed on the other side of the room

- this is about to be one hell of a week

-3 days had passed in the crammed appartement both you and Mattsun struggling to inform yourself on each specific individual that was going to be present at the auction

- right now, you were both sitting on the floor, wearing simple oversized shirts and pyjama pants and shorts, cheese pizza box laying on top of the document covered surface

- "Mattsun, pass me the paper about Okuda Takeda please" :000

- Matsukawa froze, because he knew that in 2 days of living together y'all had establised that you wouldn't be at each other's throats

- but hearing you using his nickname unironically and saying please ???? That was still something he had to get used to

- "what are you staring at ? Give me the paper shitty eyebrows >:[" ah there she was

- "thats my girl" he thought, handing you the document and resuming his own reading

- here's the catch : Mattsun was head over heels in love with you since like day 1 that Hanamaki told him about this pretty girl who let him take the diamond from his mission. He tried to repress his feelings as he had noticed that you seemed way closer with your friend Kuroo who he had seen on missions with you

- maybe you liked him

- he would understand, he seemed way more confident than him and he was also probably way smarter since he was a genius and all

- also the way you were always soft to him and not Matsukawa kinda got to him

- he wanted you to hug HIM after a mission too and NOT insult him

- but he judged it for the better as he still got to be close to you in his own way with the playful fights you always seemed to pick with him

- it was easier than confronting his feelings or rejection

- this mission proved to make things so much harder for him tho

- like yeah he saw you being a badass plenty of other times but now ?

- he got to see you being all clingy and grumpy in the morning (he never knew being called a dumbass while you were falling back asleep on his shoulder was his thing but hey) , got to see your nose scrunch up when you were focusing on mapping out the position of the vent system of the venue

- he could go on for hours about how much he loved you and your plan was not making it easy.....profiting off the yakuzas' plan took way too much waiting and he understood that you wanted it to go as well as possible but he just couldn't keep living like this until then

- it felt like torture

- and he did not want to see you in that gorgeous dress that you were supposed to wear at the auction during the infiltration

- he knew that a couple more days could drive him crazy and make him do dumb shit like kissing you

- he had thought about that a lot of times but never brought himself to do it because je knew it was pointless

- he had to take action now

- the night of the opening ceremony, the day before the Yakuzas would start their scheme

- both of you were laying in your beds, awake, that was a habit you had developped over the past nights, you were just, aware of each other's presence and then sometime you would ask him something about his life, his friends, himself

- it made his heart beat too fast everytime and he could feel himself falling even more by the second when he heard you giggling talking about the time you pulled a prank on your friend Yaku with Kuroo

- he knew that you were already very sleepy from the way you were slurring your words

- "Y/N do you hate me ?" He said, abruptly and he heard a strangled laugh coming from you followed up by the question

- "what's that for dummy ?"

- "please answer" he asked in a whisper, sounding almost desperate

- you took a second to think about it

-you had grown quite close to your tall partner in such a short period of time, even letting your guard down and stopping from being so defensive

- "i don't hate you....i could never" you said the last part more to yourself tho but Matsukawa didn't miss it, he wished he did as he heard the soft sighs coming from your now sleeping form

- his heart ached as he got up, putting on his black coat over his mathing turtleneck shirt, taking his gun and spare map of the auction venue

- you were totally going to hate him now....

- and then he left for the opening party

- the rain was pouring outside

- for some reason you couldn't sleep well that night

- that only happened whenever Kuroo was out on a mission at night or Kenma was working in his office

- you hated sleeping alone, you couldn't do it

- being alone was the one thing you dreaded the most in your life, death was nothing if nobody knew where you were, if nobody aknowledged your existence you weren't alive

- but Mattsun was there and you trusted him.

- yeah you were kind of an ass to him during like 90% of your interactions with him but you just didn't know how to talk to him ??? He was so strong and good at what he did so you couldn't help but feel admiration but also intimidation

- yet you've felt probably more comfortable with him than anyone in your life (yes even Kuroo and Kenma weirdly enough)

- it was a nice feeling

- maybe it was because you saw him differently than them...

- but anyway

- you felt like yourself around him

- and yet

- why couldn't you sleep ?

- "Mattsun ?" You called out to him, voice cracked from not having used it for a while

- no answer

- maybe he didn't hear you over the rain....?

- you had a bad feeling about this

- "Mattsun ?" You called out a little louder, sitting up

- yep definitely

- you turned on the light and to your surprise, Matsukawa was nowhere in sight

- your heart sunk at the realization

- you were alone

- what about the plan ? Ah its true that he never said anything about it

- did he not trust you enough with it ? Did he think you were too assertive ?

- you wanted to cry but it seemed as if your brain wasn't working, your body rushing on its own to check the date and time on your phone : past 10pm on thursday night.....

- the opening party !

- "shit shit shit he must have gone there to take them by surprise wtf is he thinking doing this alone?" You thought aloud, maybe it would trick your body into not being scared

- at this point you were terrified, rushing to get the red dress on as well as putting your 2 guns under each of your thigh straps

- is he alone ? Surrounded by highly trained and dangerous Yakuzas ? What if....you were too late ?

- you didn't have time to think too much about it as you knew that this kind of thoughts led nowhere.

- you had to infiltrate that party the fastest you've ever done in your life and see for yourself, luckily, the venue was only a few crossroads away from your appartment

- truth was Mattsun's plan was not so bad

- after all you had insisted on making him find info on every staff member there too so it's thanks to you if he just so happened to know what type of guy that one waitress liked in order to flirt with her and convince her that he had forgotten his watch in one of the closed off aeras of the venue

- the place was absolutly gigantic, after all it was a mansion bought will illegal money

- he hated this, he just wanted to get it over with, retrieve the sword, gtfo and go back to Miyagi forever so that he wouldn't feel the pain of the illusion of being by your side when you were clearly far ahead of him

- you'd always been anyway

- he had finally reached the generator room and opened the vents with much difficulty as the room was a mess of cardboard boxes and storage shelves

- he was just going to cut the power, which would take about 15 minutes to get back, allowing him to go thru the vents to the main hall that was right thru the wall to his side, retrieve the sword and just make a run for it

- hopefully the rain would cover most of the sound he made so that was even better

- see that would have been great if he hadn't felt the icy cold metal of a gun at the nape of his neck as he was fiddling with the generator

- he had been caught.

- it was the end.

- shit he fucked the whole mission over and now even you didn't have a chance to-

- "what exactly do you think you're doing Mattsun ?" You said coldly even tho the hurt in your tone didnt go unnoticed by the taller man

- "haha Y/N whatchu doing here on this fine night ? You look stunning btw"

- "Cut the crap shitty eyebrows i asked you a question"

- you finally lowered your gun allowing your harsh glare to show how upset you truly were

- damn, Matsukawa really felt shitty :\

- he'd never seen you like that- well not soaked from the rain but....so vulnerable to him

- all your feelings talks happened in the dark of night in your hideout, he'd never seen your face look so pained before

- "I did what was best for both us..."

- "bullshit." He wasn't sure that he believed himself either to be honest

- "what the fuck are you even doing anyway ? I thought you and i were in this mission together ?? Did nothing matter to you ? I finally think that i found someone who i could trust other than my fucking family and that's what you do ? Ditch me for your own profit ?? You did what was best for your damn self Matsukawa"

- you were upset. He got it really, his insecurities had gotten the best of him like they often did....except he didn't have the strength to confront them, to confront you about it. So he got it and he didn't retaliate.

- "so what ?? You're not even going to say anything ?? Not even TRY to fucking apologize ? Do you really don't care ?" You searched for his eyes, but little did you know that he just....couldn't talk nor maintain eye contact with you right now

- "Mattsun...i thought you and i had...something ? I don't know maybe i hallucinated or some shit but i thought we were at least friends you know ? D-did you ever tolerate me at all ?"

- your voice cracked, it got lower and it cracked, and at that moment he was sure his heart broke right at this instant too

- he wanted to tell you that that was the farthest thing from the truth

- he wanted to tell you that he loved you

- but you were too far. Once again, you were miles ahead of him, more than ever

- and the sound of voices coming from the corridor did NOT HELP

- you could not afford being found here so with the professionalism left in you, you pushed your feelings away and pulled Mattsun behind a shelf, crouching and waiting

- you were so close he could feel you shivering from the cold and he felt so so bad

- but now was not really the moment

- "didn't you hear shouting ?" Shit. Maybe you should have waited until getting out of here for your heart to heart because this guard was definitely not trippin

- there were 2, luckily they didn't have the idea to split up to search the room, all you had to do was move low and close to the walls in order reach the door and well....the katana literally could not matter less to any of y'all rn

- at this moment you really regretted going out in such a hurry completly forgetting to contact Kenma, he could have hacked into the camera system and told you were they were so easily.....

- anyway, despite that you guys were stealthy enough to get out if the room

- now the problem was getting out of here.....

- you held Mattsun's wrist loosely as you ran thru the corridor of the building, thunder raging and labored breathing filling the silence

- "Y/N we could get out from the rooftop !" Right....if you could only get there then maybe you could just parcour your way out of this by getting on other rooftops....damn you were glad Matsukawa always thought of every escape plan possible

- you didn't really mean what you said earlier

- yes, you were disappointed but, you were also scared for his dumbass

- and rn may not be the best moment to realize it as you were most likely in a life of death situation but....you loved him

- fuck you loved him so much that you were running in a goddamn dress right now

- "i truly hoped it wasn't you" said a voice from the end of the lobby

- of course it just had to be the Yakuza boss you dreaded so much

- Kondo was just standing there, arms crossed but you knew better than to take her lightly

- "did you come to retrieve it ?" Its funny how her voice seemed to dominate even the full on storm outside, the occasional lightning bolt shining light from the huge windows into the corridor

- "No....let us pass please we just want to leave" Mattsun felt how tensed you were and immediatly rested his hand on his gun handle under his coat

- "yeah sure sweetheart but only if you tell your guard dog to calm down unless he wants me to cut his fingers clean off" she threatened nonchalantly as her hand met the handle of her own katana strapped to her belt

- Matsukawa was deadass glaring at her so hard you didn't recognise him

- he honestly looked like he could take her on but...you didn't feel like testing this theory tonight

- "hey hey, it's alright" you soothed him, putting your hand on his arm and squeezing slightly

- it seemed to work because he quickly let go of his gun even tho he was still glaring

- "let us go" he said firmly

- she pushed herself out of the way and motionned with her arm as if to say "go on~" in the most theatrical way

- you passed her without issues and soon found yourself on the roofs as planned in Mattsun's escape route and made it safely to the streets, rain still pouring

- you were finally letting out a breathe you didn't know you were holding all this time

- you were alive and most importantly, so was he

- you turned around and were ready to say something when he cut you off by grabbing your arms and pulling you into a kiss

- it was short but it managed to get his point across very well as well as warm you up when he wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his forehead against yours

- "i love you Y/N....i swear i didn't mean to hurt you and put you in danger like that....if i knew i would have done things differently i-"

- "i love you too Mattsun and it's never been a problem to me, i've done way more dangerous things in my life than rescue my boyfriend from getting killed dummy"

- in the end, you weren't alone

- somehow he had become, your escape plan from it

#haikyuu x reader #matsukawa x reader #mattsun #mayhaps i cried #haikyuu au #haikyuu!!#hq x reader #hq!! headcanons #hq!! fic #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu matsukawa #aoba johsai #aoba jōsai #alternate universe #spy!au #mafia!au

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iveneverbeenanatural-13 · 4 years

Text

Update for today

Lockdown for Covid-19 March 27th

I guess I'm writing the story of my life...?

Things are better. Last night was rough because of depression and anxiety... I got to thinking why do I do this to myself? To be honest there is a lot I don't share with people and as a result I tend to break down at random times. I'm not looking for pity, more just friends... People who get it. I'm glad I started to post more on here as it feels sorta like a diary. And maybe right now that's what I need. Even if no one reads this that's ok.

Maybe I will just spell it all out. See what comes from it. So here it goes.

I haven't had a bad life. I'm only 23 but it just feels like a long life with many extra bumps in it... Things just manage not to go the way id like it to most of the time. So now I'm just used the noise. I had a good childhood but many many memories of a broken family. An angry dad (not necessarily towards us kids) a mom who coped with alcohol. I often took care of my siblings as the eldest of five. And there are many other things I won't mention... It was hard. It was dysfunctional. We'd have money then didn't. We'd have food then didn't. We'd have a week of no fighting with my parents and then they would be at each other's throats the next several weeks. We'd have moments of joy but usually short-lived moments. I'm not saying it was all bad. I have good memories too. Singing Taylor Swift songs to my mini laptop webcam is a memory I have. Making music with my brother was a good memory I have. And spending time with friends too.. it wasn't all bad...

Fast forward to about 3 years ago I thought I met the love of my life. Things seemed fine. But it was the calm before the storm. After my ex and I got together things sorta slowly started to get worse. My dad didn't support my relationship. He thought we were moving too fast. My mom wasnt happy and coped with more alcohol. And even tho they had briefly separated a couple years before I thought they wouldn't ever get divorced. Well I was wrong...

My ex and I tried so hard to make our relationship work. And I think I pushed things because I wanted some kind of happy ending. Most of my friends had gotten married or were in happy relationships. This was my first real relationship. So I thought this could be the last. There were constant fights and bitterness started to grow between us... We were co-dependent. We tried to live on our own but due to a mental illness he had, he had a hard time keeping a job. So we were just CONSTANTLY STRUGGLING. It just became not a safe place anymore. We did get engaged after about a year. My dad didn't agree and we didn't have any wedding help. My friends tried to help but it was almost like people didn't take us seriously. Which hurt because I was always there for them whether I agreed with their decisions or not. My mom straight up left my Dad and moved into her own place. I was in between a lot when it came to my mom and dad. Trying to help them to get along for my sister's sake. But there were many fights or my mom getting so drunk that the police were called... DISCLAIMER: I want to say. My parents aren't bad parents. They're just broken.

My ex and I were under so much never-ending stress. We broke up and got back together several times. It was awful. Words were said, feelings were hurt, then we'd forgive and start all over again. I like to think that was the burning Red Taylor was talking about. We loved each other so much. But it wasn't a healthy lifestyle. You lose yourself. You lose who you want to be just so you can help keep the other person from drowning. After two years my parents were officially getting divorced. My dad had gone through severe depression so I moved into his place because I honestly was afraid he would kill himself. That was rough. I had also briefly moved into my moms to help her. This was the breaking point for her. And I had to get my sisters who were living with her at the time and help them to pack up and leave. They no longer wanted to be there. Leaving her behind and closing her apartment door while glimpsing her looking so sad was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Time went on. We finally got through that. I got through that.

During this time I had lost friends. Or at least we didn't talk much anymore. I think they just didn't know how to approach me. And I know they didn't mean it. I was in a place where I couldn't be reached. Later my mom had left our state of NC and moved about 45 mins away to SC with her new Boyfriend. We like him. He's nice. And she's doing so much better! My dad had met a lady and got engaged rather quickly in my opinion lol. But as long as he's happy. When things finally started to calm down a bit with my family the damage had already been done in my relationship. It wouldn't stop. The fighting the arguing. Even after we had moved to our own little house. But it was still my home. I had my cats and my own space. I loved it. Well, back in November a huge fight had occurred and we believed we shouldn't be living together for the time being. I moved in with my grandmother.. I went back and forth a lot. Set up for Christmas and we even got to go on a little vacation. I hadn't been on a vacation in so long. Yet again, it was the calm before another storm. One night in December, the Friday before Christmas (my absolute favorite holiday) I got a call. It was my ex. He said he couldn't do it anymore. And that he was breaking up with me. He said he couldn't tell me face to face because it would be too hard and he probably would change his mind. And I cried. And begged him not too. This all happened after a particularly hard argument we had the day before. Where I had done something wrong and I did apologize for it. But it just wasn't enough... And that was it. The end of my 2-year whirlwind relationship. I was heartbroken. He got really angry and was just saying really mean things to me. Personal things that really affected me. I had to go get all my stuff. Leave one of my kitties behind and give the other one up because I couldn't bring her with me. She is rehomed to one of my best friends. She had been there through pretty much all of it. I'm so grateful I have her. I saw my ex went on a date after 3 weeks. And yeah. It was awful. I felt like the scum of the earth.

And I thought that was it... Hahaha It wasn't. I missed my period for the whole month of January. I didn't even think anything of it. Then I finally took a test. And LOW AND BEHOLD it was positive. My whole life took a fucking turn in one second and I was literally losing my mind. So yeah. Fast forward to now. I'm 16 weeks. Working through my severe depression and anxiety. I had had plans to really work on myself but now that I'm pregnant you can't really take many medications during this time. And that's very hard as I have trouble functioning normally day today... I was looking for a job for months and when I finally found one Covid-19 showed its ugly head and I lost that job. And now I'm here. Not sure of how I'm going to provide for this baby. But the father and I have much a better relationship then we've ever had. We are not back together tho. There's still struggles and obstacles but at this point it's just part of my life. So that's it more or less. That's where I'm at now. I'm very grateful that even tho my family isn't together we all still show up for each other. And even tho I sometimes still get stuck between my dad and moms problems they're still alive and well. And now I have a baby. Which was my ultimate dream. I guess I just want to know that I can provide a really good life for it. As these are not the circumstances I had wished for myself. And that it's childhood is better than my childhood or even my ex's. He struggled too... I'm scared right now because I can't work and I'm constantly battling these demons. But at the same time I know somehow it'll all work out... Eventually... You know what I hope for myself tho? That I find a love that's golden. Not red.

#taylor swift #Anxiety #depression #mental health #swifties #swiftie #covidー19 #struggles

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