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misc-obeyme · 4 months

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You know the drill.

Spoilers for Lesson 40 below, including locked and hard lessons.

Just to clarify: when I say that it’s “the end” in my rantings, I am referring to season two, not the entire game. ☺️

Hmm.

I'm confused. And... underwhelmed? What even just happened?

I mean, we had lovely moments with the side characters and we got to kiss them all and of course I'm incredibly pleased I got to kiss Barbatos and Solomon, but aside from that we just... went back?

Most of the lesson was about the RAD founding ceremony. We say good bye to the side characters and they even address how we told Solomon his cooking was bad (more on this later).

But just as the ceremony is about to start, a dark rift opens in the sky. It's a rift in space and time. Barbatos straight up asks Solomon if he did it. Solomon says he didn't, but that he wasn't expecting it to show up so soon. (So who did create it? Nightbringer? And if so, doesn't this prove Solomon at the very least knows enough to know when Nightbringer is going to open a portal back through time??)

We miss the ceremony because we have to go through that rift if we wanna get back. The brothers come with us because we need their power. Just like when we summoned the white dragon, we call upon each brother for his power. Then Solomon adds his. Then there's a bright light and..

...roll credits.

Yeah. That's it. That's the end.

There's a locked lesson where Diavolo gives a speech at the ceremony.

And then the HARD lesson... is us returning to the House of Lamentation in our time. The brothers are all like oh hey MC good morning like nothing even happened. They say it's weird because it feels like it's been a long time since they've seen MC but that can't be right because it hasn't been that long at all.

AND THAT'S IT.

No Nightbringer. No further insight from Solomon or Barbatos. Not even sad angsty brothers who have been missing us.

It was like they didn't know we were gone.

So either we went back a little further in time or there was never a point where they decided as a group to send Solomon back to help us.

We didn't even get a Michael appearance!

THAT WAS VERY ANTICLIMACTIC.

I am confused because it wasn't bad, it was kinda cheesy, there were some sweet lines and like I mentioned previously I got to kiss my malewives but WHAT THE JUNK.

I'm not suffering, more like I'm just left hanging???

My one consolation is that we're back in our timeline now. So maybe NEXT SEASON we can FINALLY get some ANSWERS.

I really thought they couldn't drag it out any further and yet...

I didn't take a whole lot of screenshots this time because again, it was kinda just... underwhelming. Overall this lesson was just me going that's it?! And being baffled.

First I'd like to present you with these lovely Barbatos moments.

As sweet as this is, the man knows. Not that I ever thought anything else, but he's so subtle about it. I'm onto you, Barb.

My HEART. If I wasn't going back to another version of him, I would just be like nope staying by your side forever the end I don't care about anybody else.

But before all that, there was also this:

I'm glaring at you because you let Solomon into the kitchen.

I DIDN'T WANT TO.

OF COURSE I DIDN'T.

GOOD. SOMEONE ELSE CAN SUFFER WITH ME.

OHHhhhh Barb I love when you get all threatening and smile like that 💕

But seriously, then Barbatos and Luke help Solomon make a lunch that's actually delicious and we eat it with everybody and they're all amazed. I was like OKAY WELL I do feel a bit better about that whole fiasco now. But still, was it even necessary to begin with? No amount of sweet kitchen buffoonery with these guys is going to make me forget the pain.

At least we had a cute Solomon moment, too.

Yeah but I'm still wondering about the past version of you, Sol. I'm just saying, where is that guy?

I mean you don't have to look so sad about it.

Ah. Your jealousy is showing, Solomon. (I don't mind.)

Hard Lesson bits because I'm still just ????

YEAH BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T.

YEAH IT'S BEEN TWO WHOLE SEASONS.

Once again, I am left with more questions than what I started with. Will MC tell the brothers what happened? Will we just never see the past brothers again? Will we return to the past in the next season? Will we ever see Nightbringer again, the being for whom this game was named?

At the very least, we still have Mephisto being himself and man I can't believe I ever disliked this guy.

THAT'S MY BOY.

I'm feeling extremely unsatisfied but it isn't like that's anything new.

I will say that it wasn't as bad as I expected. I was expecting them to do some really terrible things that made me freak out and scream and scare my cat. But no, I was mostly just ?? the whole time. And confusion is preferable to suffering in this case.

But I am also ANNOYED. We have waited long enough for the Nightbringer reveal, please give it to us now Solmare!!!

I fear we only have a short time before we are dragged further into this game that has truly become a hell of its own when season three is upon us... (I'm being deliberately melodramatic but still...)

#???#????#?????#obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me nightbringer spoilers #obey me nightbringer lesson 40 #obey me solomon #obey me barbatos #misc lesson recap #misc rambles

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aesthetixhoe · 11 months

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posts and pictures with jack champion — J.C.

warnings: cursing, harry potter username

word count: ---

pronouns used: she/her, fem reader

authors note: reader plays gwen stacy in the mcu spiderman movies. have been wanting to do this style of post with someone for a while and finally settled on jack. formatting and the final push came from @dizscreams <3

liked by devyn_nekoda, lianaliberato, jasminsavoy, and 740,839 others

accio_[y/n] Jack doesn't like planes, too bad we're flying all the way to LA :(

masonthegooding aww, the poor baby needs his mommy? 🥺💔

| jackchampion PLANES ARE SCARY

| jasminsavoy wuss

zendaya you better visit me while you're in LA, I need my Gwen back :(

| tomholland2013 you have me to keep you company 😁

| zendaya oh yayyyy...

| tomhollad2013 what's wrong with me?

| accio_[y/n] you're not me, that's what's wrong with you 🤭

liked by zendaya, lianaliberato, tomholland2013, and 948,394 others

accio_[y/n] look at this buffoonery I woke up to

masonthegooding GROSS 🤢

| jackchampion it was a joke

misstrinitybliss I love you two, but that's gross jackchampion

| jackchampion it was a joke!

jasminsavoy I might throw up

| jackchampion IT WAS A JOKE! I SWEAR!!

| lianaliberato it was not, you talk like this all the time.

liked by masonthegooding, lianaliberato, melissabarreram, and 209,541

jackchampion catching z's 🥱

accio_[y/n] no photo cred? this is absurd!

| jackchampion sorry babe, I'll tag you next time! 🥸

| masonthegooding you should thrown water on him for that

| jasminsavoy you should push him in

| accio_[y/n] I'll do both 😈

liked by zendaya, lifeisaloha, masonthegooding, and 2,490,582 others

accio_[y/n] he thinks he's spiderman...

tomholland2013 HEY THAT'S MY ROLE!

jackchampion I do not think I'm spiderman!

| accio_[y/n] you literally said "take a picture of me so I look like spiderman." 😐

| jackchampion I'll be spiderman if you're my Gwen Stacy

| accio_[y/n] you're a dork

| tomholland2013 I'm ok with this, I have my mj

masonthegooding I'm actually kinda liking spider-jack

liked by zendaya, jackchampion, misstrinitybliss, and 1,684,493 others

accio_[y/n] post red carpet

zendaya I love my Gwen Stacy

| jackchampion that's my line 🥲

devyn_nekoda you're welcome for the amazing picture 🙄

| accio_[y/n] thank you so much bae 😘

jackchampion my beautiful girl. tonight was a blast

| accio_[y/n] I love you

liked by jackchampion, accio_[y/n], devyn_nekoda, and 319,485 others

masonthegooding these two are insufferable.

accio_[y/n] you know it!

| jackchampion we just cool like that 😎

devyn_nekoda you have to admit, they are cute together.

| masonthegooding I'll never admit it.

Liked by zendaya, jackchampion, jasminsavoy, and 1,384,829 others

accio_[y/n] you got me spinning like a ballerina. happy two years to my beautiful boy <3

jackchampion my favorite girl 🩷

masonthegooding this is grossly cute.

| devyn_nekoda YOU'RE ADMITTING IT!

masonthegooding your caption is cringe tho

| accio_[y/n] your face is cringe, boom!

taglist: @wenvierismycomfort @beggingforxavierthorpe @ourloveisgod23 @sssi-nr @eliza1720 @writinganything @snaackthatsmilesback @dizscreams @saintlulls @xyzstar @urmomlovesliyah

#hoe writes #jack champion head cannon #jack champion #jack champion x reader #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #x reader #jack champion fluff #fluff #tom holland #zenday #gwen stacy #spiderman

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happy74827 · 6 months

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Moral Support

[Harvey Specter & Teen!Reader]

Synopsis: All you wanted was to spend more time with your busy uncle, but since he’s the best closer in town, even a simple concert at your school is inconvenient. Still, given the importance, you can’t help but try.

WC: 2198

Category: Platonic, Angst/Fluff

New show alert! Well, it's not really new to me since I'm almost on season seven now, and it's an old show to begin with, but this show currently has a death grip over me, and I'm actually shocked it took me this long to start writing for it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this... buffoonery because I sure did.

『••✎••』

Harvey Specter was the kind of man that was always on the move. The workaholic attorney practically lived at his job, and if he wasn't there, he was out trying to get more clients. He rarely had time for himself or for those closest to him, which was why you rarely saw him anymore. It was always quick phone calls that were over before you could even grab the phone from your father. The rare occasion that you were able to actually spend time with your uncle was the holidays, and even then, he’d always leave early. There was always some case that required his attention, and you knew better than to complain about it.

He was your hero, and you respected the fact that his work was so important to him. But that didn't stop the sting when he'd cancel plans for the third time in a row. You loved him, and you knew that he loved you, but that didn't mean you didn't miss him. You wanted him to be around, and you wanted him to be proud of you. That was why when you found out that you were picked to do the major solo in your upcoming choir concert, you immediately thought of him. How proud he’d be when he showed up and heard you sing.

But… when you decided to “drop by” his office, you were reminded once again that your uncle was a very busy man. He was hunched over his desk, his hand was in his hair, and his eyes focused on whatever paper he was reading. He didn’t even hear Donna, his amazing secretary, when she told him you were here. So, you walked in and cleared your throat, making him look up.

"Uncle Harvey, hi!" you said happily, walking closer to his desk. He looked tired and not at all happy to see you, but you weren't going to let that deter you.

"Hey, kiddo. What are you doing here?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the papers in front of him. You sat down and leaned forward, trying to read them, but he was quick to snatch them up.

"I just wanted to come see you. I haven't seen you since Christmas."

"Well, I've been busy. You know that." He said, standing up and shuffling the papers into a folder. "What's up, kid?"

Harvey turned back around to face you, a small and tired smile on his lips. You reminded him a lot of Mike, though it really should be the other way around. You were always curious about his work, wanting to learn everything you could. Mike did, too, but he didn’t have the same innocence as you. The smiles you wore were much more genuine.

"Well, I just wanted to ask you something," you said, suddenly feeling shy. He sat down again and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and clasping his hands.

"Shoot."

You took a deep breath and began to explain, "So, I have this choir concert coming up. I've been taking lessons for a while, and I auditioned and got this huge, big solo in one of the songs.”

"That's great. What's the question?"

"Well,” You let out a sigh, “I was hoping that you would be able to come.”

There was a pause as Harvey let what you said sink in. His expression shifted to something that you couldn't place. There was a mix of emotions in his eyes, and it made you uneasy. You knew what was coming, but you still held onto hope. You held onto the idea that this one time was the exception.

Spoiler alert, it wasn’t.

"As much as I would love to, kiddo, I can't," he said, his tone a bit softer than it was before.

"Can't or won't?"

“I have a case that requires a lot of my attention right now. A man could go to prison for something he didn’t do, and I can't risk that happening because I went to some little show."

"Some little show? Uncle Harvey, this isn’t just some show! This is a big deal, and I want you there. I want you to be proud of me,” you said, trying not to get angry.

"I'm always proud of you."

"It doesn't feel like it."

He looked at you for a moment before letting out a sigh. He leaned back in his chair, running his hands over his face. It was clear that he was stressed and had a lot of work to do, but you still couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

"I have a lot going on, okay?" he said, a bit harsher than before. You felt yourself shrink a little, and you dropped your head, nodding.

"Yeah, I know," you mumbled, standing up and grabbing your bag. "I'm sorry. I'll let you get back to work."

He called after you, but you kept walking. You didn't stop until you got outside, and even then, all you could think about was going home and being alone.

"How'd it go?" Donna asked, sitting at her desk. She had a warm smile on her lips and a cup of coffee in her hands, but it quickly faded when she saw the look on your face.

"Why ask when you already know the answer? I'll see you later," you mumbled, waving as you passed. She called your name, too, but you ignored her like your uncle. You weren't in the mood to talk to anyone. You just wanted to be by yourself. Maybe eat some ice cream, too, just to dissolve the disappointment.

Once out of sight, Donna let out a sigh, shaking her head before deciding to walk into Harvey's office. She was ready to tell him off for how he treated you, but the words died in her throat. He was leaning back in his chair, the same tired expression he'd had when you came in still on his face. It wasn't the fact that he looked so worn that stopped her, though. It was the look of guilt and regret.

"Go away, Donna,” he grumbled, not looking at her. “I don’t want to hear it."

"You should," she replied, closing the door and stepping inside. "She's a kid, Harvey, and she looks up to you."

"I know that."

"Do you? Because, from what I saw, it doesn't seem like it."

"Donna, what do you want from me? I can't just drop everything and go to a show. Not when someone's life is on the line. I have a job to do," Harvey said, his voice rising as he stood up.

"That's a crap excuse, and you know it. You can work around things. I know you can."

"It's not that simple. I have a lot going on, and I can't just let it fall through the cracks."

"But you can let your niece fall through the cracks?"

"Donna-"

"She wanted you there, Harvey, and you just dismissed her. Instead of a simple “I’ll try my best,” you said to her face that her show isn’t important enough."

"I did not say that," Harvey snapped, moving around his desk.

"Some little show?" Donna mocked, throwing his words back at him. It got him to pause, his anger fading into something else.

"Don’t quote me. You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Didn't you? You didn't exactly phrase it nicely."

Harvey's jaw tightened, and his hands clenched into fists. Donna could tell that he was holding back. She had hit a sore spot and as much as he wanted to yell, he was stopping himself.

"Why do you care so much?" he asked, his tone sharp.

"Because she's a good kid, and she deserves better than your bullshit."

"Get out," Harvey said, turning his back to her and sitting down. Donna watched him, trying to see if he'd change his mind.

"Fine," she said, "But just think about what I said."

And with that, she walked out of his office, leaving him alone with his thoughts. She wasn’t wrong, and that pissed him off.

He hated being wrong, and even though he didn’t think he was, the guilt that filled his chest wouldn’t let him think anything else.

The next week, you were backstage and trying not to freak out. It wasn’t that you were nervous. You loved to sing, and it wasn't hard to do it in front of a crowd. There were so many people there, and they all cared. You didn't have anything to worry about. It was more so the fact that your uncle was one of the few who wasn’t.

He didn’t call or even send a text. It was radio silence, and it hurt, but you weren’t surprised. As much as you wanted him to be there, he wasn’t going to come. He had more important things to do, and as much as it sucked, you accepted it.

Still, the idea of singing without him knowing about it made you want to throw up.

You didn’t have time to dwell on it though because the concert was starting. Your solo was near the end, and it was the last song, so you didn’t have to sit and watch everyone else for too long. That was good, but not enough to stop you from worrying.

Before you could start panicking, the choir started, and you were forced to focus. All thoughts of your uncle slipped away as the music washed over you, and soon, you were lost. Everything seemed to blur as the sound grew louder and the world became smaller. This was where you were meant to be. On stage, singing your heart out.

Your parents and little sister were in the crowd, and you knew they were cheering for you. You couldn’t hear them, but the image was enough.

You finished your solo, the sound echoing off the walls and making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Everyone was clapping, and you smiled, bowing as the lights dimmed.

As soon as it was all over, you rushed backstage and grabbed your things, ready to go home and relax. But, the minute you walked out the front door with your father, you froze.

“You were a little sharp, don’t you think? It's not terrible; it's just a bit off-key. But we can work on that next time.”

"Harvey." Your father said, not sounding all too happy. You looked up, and sure enough, there he was. “Still an asshole I see.”

"Marcus! How nice to see you too!" Harvey greeted sarcastically, nodding along. He turned his gaze to you and smiled. You could tell he was proud, even though he didn't say it.

"I thought you couldn't make it." You said, a hint of hopefulness in your voice.

"Eh, I figured why the hell not. It's not every day that my niece becomes Hannah Montana," Harvey joked, nudging you playfully. "Seriously, kiddo. You sounded great up there. You really blew it out of the water."

Your face broke out into a smile, and you rushed forward, pulling him into a tight hug. He was stiff at first, not expecting it, but he relaxed quickly. His hand came up to rest on your head, and you pulled back, a bright smile on your lips.

"Donna talked you into coming, didn't she?"

"You have no proof of that."

"I bet she had a list."

"Of reasons why you deserve the world? Absolutely," Harvey said, ruffling your hair. "But, I am glad I came. I needed a break."

"You mean you need sleep," your dad interjected, walking over to stand beside you. He was giving Harvey a stern look, but the older Spector brother couldn’t help but smirk.

"I can't believe you're still a stick in the mud. What happened to the cool dad I once knew?"

"He had to go and get an even bigger headache."

"You say headache; I say blessing," Harvey shot back, earning an eye roll from his younger brother.

"Whatever. We'll talk about it later," Marcus said, "You eating with us, Harvey?"

"If you're offering."

"Well, then let's go. I'm starving, and we can't have you pass out. Who would drive your expensive ass home?"

"Better knock it off before Katie hears you."

"She's used to it."

"Used to what?"

"Me calling you an asshole."

"Oh, yeah? What about-"

"Boys, behave." Your mother said, finally cutting into the conversation. You all turned, a bit shocked, and looked at her.

"I can't help that he's so easy to mess with," Harvey said, pointing to his brother.

"Yeah, right. Like I'm the easy target."

"Alright, alright. Come on, let's go," Katie said, putting an arm around your shoulders and guiding you toward the car. You glanced back at Harvey and waved. He smiled and waved back, falling into step beside your father.

It was a long night of bickering and laughter. A lot of it was your dad and uncle picking on each other, but it was fun. Harvey seemed to relax and not worry about anything else. He was there, and he was happy.

Maybe, for the first time in a long time, he wasn't too busy.

Not for you.

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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys · 2 years

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Hi Eleanor, I have been following your amazing explanations of the UK politics (so good, thank you so much for them) but somewhere in the buffoonery I lost the thread and now I can't tell one evil vizier from another. They all look the same! I can only accurately distinguish Michael Fabricant (for obvious reasons).

All this to ask, how can I tell Liz Truss apart from Nadine Dorries or Rees-Mogg? I know the latter is a man, but I'm after the clown vibes. What is her clown wig, so to speak? Thanks so much!

Apologies this took so long, it's been a busy few weeks, but yes, happy to oblige! Here is:

Elanor's Guide to Liz Truss

Under a cut for length, and it only goes up to her appointment as PM, not everything that's come since. Key points: she u-turns on literally everything, and her one (1) personality trait is maths.

26 July 1975 Liz Truss is born in Oxford to parents she’d later describe as “to the left of Labour”, though is presumably not yet a source of colossal disappointment. She is a bland and underwhelming child whose crowning achievement from this time is that she goes to a comprehensive school.

She will later boast about this.

1996 Truss graduates from Merton College, Oxford with a degree in Politics, Philosophy and Economics. Economics! What a useful thing for a future PM to hold.

While at university, she begins her first foray into a political career! She's president of the Oxford University Liberal Democrats - as a Lib Dem, she supports the legalisation of cannabis and, famously, the abolition of the monarchy. What sound principles to hold dearly and stand by. Good for her! Such integrity. It's good to have convictions. Hope the monarchy thing doesn't come back to bite her.

Slightly later in 1996 Truss produces the first performance of her signature move: U-Turn.

She joins the Tory Party. And starts working for Shell.

1998 Time to get elected! Truss stands in an election for Greenwich London Borough Council. Loses.

2000 Truss leaves Shell, and starts working for Cable & Wireless (the first competitor to BT).

She also gets married this year! There’s lovely. Her husband is even more bland and underwhelming than her, so presumably this made her feel special and important by comparison. Still, true love is heartening. Let's wish them a long and stable marriage.

2001 Hello naughty children, it's General Election time! Truss stands as a Tory in a Labour safe seat. Loses.

2002 Truss stands in an election for Greenwich London Borough Council again. Loses.

2004-2005 Concerned that she is incapable of winning anything, Tory MP Mark Field is appointed by the Tory Party as Truss’s mentor. Field and Truss are both married, but his allure as a sexually aggressive misogynist who grabs female protestors in chokeholds proves too much for Liz and her beige milquetoast husband, so they have an affair anyway.

It doesn't last long because Tories are very bad at hiding affairs, but Liz's husband lacks the interest to kick her out. Instead she introduces him to her fun new kink of being a collared sub and he duly obeys. From this point onwards, she literally wears a day collar necklace at all times.

This fact possibly explains the penchant for u-turns and general lack of spine. Subs should not be PMs.

2005 Truss leaves Cable & Wireless. It is unclear if they notice her leaving.

5 May 2005 General Election! Truss stands in a marginal seat (that is, not a safe seat for any party), thus giving her the best chance of winning. Loses.

April 2006

With David Cameron as the new Tory leader (several years away from the 2015 pig-fucking scandal), a committee sets out to deliver his promise to transform the party. They create an “A list” of between 100 and 150 parliamentary candidates to prioritise in winnable seats. In a bid to make the Tory party look more diverse and less like a Dulux Shades of White catalogue, many are POC and more than half of these are women – and one of these is Liz Truss.

This is probably just as well. Currently, her glittering political career consists of four failed elections, zero principles and a grubby sex scandal. You can only get away with the latter two once you've been elected, after all.

4 May 2006 Truss stands in an election for Greenwich London Borough Council again, now with the backing of the party's top brass to campaign for her. Wins!

January 2008 Having lost her first four elections, Truss is promptly given Responsibility and becomes deputy director of Reform. Reform’s a think tank – a research institute that performs research and advocacy on public policy. With Reform, Truss produced several major reports, advocating for:

more rigorous academic standards in schools because she loves maths;

a greater focus on tackling serious and organised crime;

urgent action to deal with Britain's falling competitiveness.

October 2009 Liz Truss easily wins a vote of the Conservative Association to represent the party for South West Norfolk at the next General Election. Huzzah! Gosh, it's so easy to win elections when David Cameron gives them to you.

Drama though! Some members of the association are against this, because Truss failed to disclose her affair with Mark Field. This is very funny, because every Tory MP is an adulterer. Mind, Mark Field is proper gross, so it is an unusually terrible indication of personal taste.

They vote on this issue – 132 support Truss, versus 37 against. Success! Gosh, it's so easy to win elections when David Cameron gives them to you.

6 April 2010 General Election announced. A scheduled one! So exciting for the British public.

6 May 2010 Truss chooses not to seek re-election to Greenwich London Borough Council, because she’s an MP now and is above such petty concerns. She works hard, specifically for:

retention of an RAF base in her constituency;

transforming a chunk of A11 into a dual carriageway;

shouting down a proposal to sell off forests;

preventing a waste incinerator being built at King’s Lynn.

October 2011 Truss remembers that part of her degree is in Economics, which means she knows about money and maffs. She founds the Free Enterprise Group with the support of over 40 other Tory MPs. Gosh! She's so popular! Her goal is to challenge the idea that Britain's economic decline is inevitable, by trying to develop an entrepreneurial and meritocratic culture.

(Loosely translated this means she loves free markets and hates employment laws.)

4 September 2012

Truss becomes Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State at the Department for Education.

Now at this point, education is a huge thing for her. She wants to make maths compulsory for everyone in full-time education, rather than just to GCSE. She believes comprehensive schools encourage easy, low-value subjects to boost results (noting that comp pupils were six times as likely to take media studies as private school kids), whereas private schools never do anything to artificially boost results to please fee-paying parents.

To prove her point she goes on telly, gets asked a maths question by a news reader, barely manages to answer it, and then refuses to take any more maths questions.

13 September 2012 Truss’s Free Enterprise Group publishes a book. Hooray! Let's see what it has to say.

Here’s a quote: "Once they enter the workplace, the British are among the worst idlers in the world. We work among the lowest hours, we retire early and our productivity is poor."

Yuck. Gross. How unpopular.

Truss claims that that bit was written by Dominic Raab, later Deputy PM to Boris Johnson. Raab counter-claims that the authors take “collective responsibility” for everything in the book.

January 2013 Truss is named Road Safety Parliamentarian of the Month by road safety charity Brake, for campaigning for design improvements to road junctions in her constituency and presumably for Doing Good Looking when she crosses roads.

Truss also outlines plans to reform childcare in England, to widen the availability of childcare and increase staff pay and qualifications. Interestingly, charities and businesses really like these reforms – Labour and trade unions do not. I wonder why?

The least popular aspect of this is to allow each carer to be 'allowed more children'. This aspect is blocked by the bold and heroic Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg.

February 2014 Truss leads a fact-finding mission to Shanghai to find out how they achieve the best maths results in the world for their children. She is certain it's probably something to do with comprehensive schools.

15 July 2014 Cabinet reshuffle! Truss appointed Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs. Unlike her predecessor, Truss declares that she fully believes in climate change! Huzzah! What a step up. Thank goodness we now have someone with principles who will stand by their convictions.

(She is mysteriously silent on her past employment with Shell.)

November 2014 Truss launches a 10-year strategy to try to reverse falling bee populations, including by reviving traditional meadows. Double huzzah! Thank goodness she loves bees.

July 2015 Truss approves the temporary lifting of an EU ban on two bee-toxic neonicotinoid pesticides, enabling their use on about 5% of England's oil seed rape crop to ward off the cabbage stem flea beetle. These pesticides were shown in 2012 to harm bees by damaging their ability to navigate home, and are a leading theorised cause of colony collapse disease. Fuck the bees I guess.

Truss also cuts taxpayer subsidies for solar panels on agricultural land. Fuck the environment I guess.

Classic Liz.

24 June 2016 HELLO NAUGHTY CHILDREN IT'S BREXIT TIME

And Liz Truss is pro-Remain:

“I don't want my daughters to grow up in a world where they need a visa or permit to work in Europe, or where they are hampered from growing a business because of extortionate call costs and barriers to trade. Every parent wants their children to grow up in a healthy environment with clean water, fresh air and thriving natural wonders. Being part of the EU helps protect these precious resources and spaces.”

A year later, she’ll say, “I believed there would be massive economic problems but those haven't come to pass and I've also seen the opportunities.”

She is mysteriously silent on what those opportunities actually are.

14 July 2016 Theresa May’s Prime Minister now, and Truss is appointed:

Secretary of State for Justice; and

Lord Chancellor.

She’s the first woman to hold either position, even though the Lord Chancellor office has existed for a thousand years. Gosh! So illustrious! So that must be a popular choice.

Minister of State for Justice Lord Faulks immediately resigns from the government in disgust at Truss’s justice role.

He doesn’t think Truss will have the clout to stand up to the PM on behalf of the judges, because she's a whimpering sub wearing her collar to work. Truss says Faulks didn’t contact her before going public with his criticism, and that she’s literally never met or spoken to him, and she's very hurt because he's very mean, and she's excellent at defending judges who rule against the government, you'll all see.

November 2016 Truss is criticised by former Attorney General Dominic Grieve and the Criminal Bar Association for being a bit shit at defending judges who ruled against the government.

Former Lord Chancellor Lord Falconer says (and I’m paraphrasing here) that she IS shit, that's true, but for balance let's all remember that her predecessors Chris Grayling and Michael Gove were ALSO shit.

He calls on Truss to be sacked. This call is ignored.

To establish that she is Good At Justice and make daddy call her a good girl, Truss announces a £1.3 billion investment programme in the prison service and the recruitment of 2,500 additional prison officers! Huzzah! This sounds good!

Unfortunately the Tory coalition government had already actually cut considerably more than that, so this is actually still a cut overall.

11 June 2017 Following the general election, Truss becomes Chief Secretary to the Treasury, a move widely seen as a demotion for being Shit At Justice (daddy did not think she was a good girl). Still, she has an economics degree (sort of)! And loves maths! What an ideal position. How does she get on?

Civil servants describe her tenure as “exhausting” because of her punishing work schedule and her obsession with posing maths questions to officials at random.

CRINGE ALERT: Truss really gets into Twitter and Instagram. Uh oh.

June 2018 Truss gives a speech about the importance of libertarianism and low taxes. Hope that doesn't come back to bite her.

2019 Truss declares that she could replace Theresa May as leader.

In her defence, anyone COULD replace Theresa May as leader. What a horrible woman. What an awful Prime Minister. God, at least it can't get any worse, right?

Right?

In the end, Liz doesn’t stand, however. Instead, she chooses to endorse Boris Johnson.

24 July 2019 She advises Johnson on economic policy during his leadership campaign because she has an Economics degree (sort of) and likes maths, but weirdly isn’t given a finance role once he becomes Prime Minister. How strange. Perhaps he does not know that she likes maths? Perhaps she was too subtle?

She’s instead promoted to Secretary of State for International Trade and President of the Board of Trade. That's okay though. You have to do sums to trade with money, she'll probably be good at that.

10 September 2019 Amber Rudd resigns as Minister for Women and Equalities. Truss gets that job on top of her own, because nothing says Women's Equality like piling extra jobs onto a woman. I hope this workload doesn't affect her job with Trade.

Days later, Truss “inadvertently” (her words) allows unlawful arms sales to Saudi Arabia, an accident any of us could make I'm sure. She apologises to a Commons committee. Opposition MPs reckon she should resign, what with having dramatically broken the law and all. Oddly, this does not happen. Does Boris Johnson not care about the law? :(

Still, I'm sure she's learned her lesson about being careful with arms exports to Saudi Arabia.

7 July 2020 Truss lifts a year-long ban on exporting arms and military equipment to Saudi Arabia. She says (I’m paraphrasing) “I just reckon it’ll probably be fine.”

August 2020

Truss holds meetings with the Institute of Economic Affairs. These meetings are later removed from the public record, re-categorised as "personal discussions". Which all seems nice and normal and not at all suspicious and also totally a thing we're all comfortable with Tory Trade Ministers with histories of exporting arms to Saudi Arabia doing.

September 2020 Truss settles a trade agreement between the UK and Japan. On the one hand, this is legit the first major trade deal signed by the UK after Brexit, so that’s a big deal! Yay! A triumph for maths!

On the other hand, most of it’s copied and pasted from the existing EU deal with Japan, which almost makes you wonder what was the fucking point.

In any case, Truss follows suit with Australia, New Zealand, Norway, Iceland and Liechtenstein. She is very good at keyboard shortcuts.

December 2020 Truss finds time among all her copying and pasting and sums to give a speech on equality policy, which is good, given that she's also an Equalities Minister. She reckons the UK focuses too heavily on "fashionable" race, sexuality, and gender issues. She reveals the government and civil service will no longer be receiving unconscious bias training. Thank goodness she fucking bothered.

15 September 2021 Cabinet reshuffle! Johnson promotes Truss to Secretary of State for Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Affairs after she's nice about his tie.

3 October 2021 Tory conference, and Truss harps on about identity politics and cancel culture and does some transphobic dog-whistling. I’m not passing on the quotes.

Truss supported gay marriage, and has never voted against LGBTQ+ rights in specific votes, but she HAS moved to limit trans rights. She’s against gender self-ID. When accused of transphobia, she stresses how much she loves queer people because she supported gay marriage. When pressed on the trans issue, she (I'm paraphrasing) shares the "I can't see that I'm blind" meme and leaves.

November 2021 Truss and her Israeli counterpart Yair Lapid announce a new deal aimed at stopping Iran from developing nuclear weapons.

December 2021 Lord Frost resigns as the British Government's chief negotiator with the EU. Truss replaces him. A big deal! International diplomacy! Good job no major international diplomatic incidents requiring experienced diplomats are coming up!

Truss meets her Russian counterpart Sergey Lavrov in Stockholm, and urges Russia to seek peace in Ukraine.

27 January 2022 An unknown journalist for the Mirror, Pippa Crerar, reveals that the Tories held a Christmas party when everyone else was in lockdown. Uh oh. Hope that doesn't get out of hand. Best behaviour, everyone.

Truss goes to Australia. Instead of taking a normal plane, she uses £500,000 of public money on a private jet.

Former Australian Prime Minister Paul Keating, who’s involved with the China Development Bank, accuses Truss of making "demented" comments about Chinese military aggression in the Pacific. He says, “Britain suffers delusions of grandeur and relevance deprivation.”

The diplomacy is Going Well.

30 January 2022 Truss claims that "we are supplying and offering extra support into our Baltic allies across the Black Sea, as well as supplying the Ukrainians with defensive weapons."

Russian diplomat Maria Zakharova makes fun of her on Facebook, because the Baltic states are located around the Baltic Sea and not the Black Sea, which is 700 miles away.

The diplomacy is Going Well.

31 January 2022 Truss tests positive for covid. She cancels her trip to Ukraine.

6 February 2022 China backs Argentina’s claim over the Falkland Islands. Truss claims that "China must respect the Falklands' sovereignty … [as] part of the British family".

The diplomacy is Going Well.

10 February 2022 Truss again meets Lavrov, in the context of a build-up of Russian troops near the Russia–Ukraine border. Lavrov describes the discussion as "turning out like the conversation of a mute and a deaf person".

He asks Truss if she recognises Russia's sovereignty over the two Russian provinces containing troops. Truss mistakenly assumes these must be areas of Ukraine, and replies that "the UK will never recognise Russian sovereignty over these regions."

THE DIPLOMACY IS GOING WELL.

27 February 2022 Three days after Russian's invasion of Ukraine, Truss is asked in an interview whether she’d support British volunteers joining the newly formed International Legion of Territorial Defense of Ukraine.

She replies: "Absolutely, if that is what they want to do."

Which is admirable, I guess, but, um … would be a criminal offence, according to the Foreign Enlistment Act 1870.

The Russian military are placed on high nuclear alert, and Russian officials say this is in response to Truss's comments! But they might be lying about that I suppose.

10 July 2022

That Christmas party got out of hand.

Truss says she’ll run in the Conservative Party leadership election to replace Boris Johnson. She pledges to cut taxes on day one if elected, and that she would take "immediate action to help people deal with the cost of living". Thank goodness she has principles and understands the cost of living crisis.

16 July 2022 Liz Truss is one of 7 MPs revealed to have put Amazon Prime on their expenses.

20 July 2022 Truss and Rishi Sunak are chosen by Conservative Party MPs to be put forward to the membership for the final vote. Truss finishes second in the final MPs ballot, 113 votes to Sunak's 137.

25 July 2022 In a BBC debate, Truss claims she’s going to be big on environmental issues.

And then reveals she plans to scrap a lot of environmental legislation to help businesses.

11 August 2022 Format change! Let’s watch the days tick by through the lens of news headlines.

BBC headline: Liz Truss defends energy firms saying profit is not evil (14 August 2022)

Guardian headline: Liz Truss’s economic plan is ruinous nonsense with no reference to reality (27 August 2022)

Mirror headline: 'Greedy' Liz Truss has claimed nearly £5k in expenses for energy in last 5 years (2 September 2022)

Open Democracy headline: Fears over cost of living ‘solutions’ proposed by Truss-backed think tanks: MP says Truss would be a ‘puppet’ for right-wing groups that have already generated a dozen of her policies (3 September 2022)

Times headline: Truss eyes bonfire of workers’ rights to boost economy

Polls show that the more Tory voters see Liz Truss, the less they like her.

Unfortunate.

5 September 2022

Liz Truss gives an interview with Tory client journalist Laura Kuenssberg. Following the interview, comedian Joe Lycett, who was literally one of the planned guests and whose job is to be a satirist, claims to love Liz Truss, and effusively praises the interview. Even Truss realises that nobody would say these words in earnest.

A BBC insider says: “Team Truss was incandescent afterwards. She agreed to give a significant interview after blowing out Nick Robinson.”

Presumably she did not understand what the role of a satirist in a political interview is.

That said, in the membership vote, 57.4% of voting Party members selected Truss, making her the new leader. Of all leaders chosen in the 21st century, Truss managed the lowest support of MPs at final ballot, and of membership.

Independent headline: Liz Truss’s energy plans will be disastrous for our bills and the planet - Truss will oversee the greatest transfer of wealth in history, from UK families to oil and gas executives she used to work for

Polling data suggests that the Conservatives have fallen 4.5 points in the polls in light of Truss’s leadership, while Keir Starmer’s Labour has jumped up 3 points. Yikes! Hope that doesn't get worse.

Current polling would translate to only 147 Tory seats, compared with 414 Labour seats. For context, Tony Blair’s infamous 1997 landslide victory won 418 seats for Labour (and 178 seats for the Tories).

6 September 2022 Liz Truss is appointed Prime Minister.

Immediately, UK currency plummets. And she hasn't even announced her new mini-budget yet.

Hope that doesn't get worse!

#politik #asks

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mcytblrconfessions · 5 months

Note

I love James Marriott and I think that he deserves much more credit and attention than he gets.

I love his humor. It’s a coin flip whether or not he’ll be the most chaotic, unhinged person, or if he will be the straight man and point out the absolute buffoonery of the situation simply by being the normal guy.

He has amazing music that mixes softer tones with sick rock in a blend that makes each one compliment the other. The solo in The Other Side? Astounding. The scream in Don’t Blame Me (James’s version)? Gut wrenching. The strings in White Noise? I fell to my knees.

His hazel eyes with the golden flecks? I mean come ON people.

#confession #cc: james marriott

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sink-me-in-your-ocean · 7 months

Text

𝔊𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔥 ℌ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔠𝔞𝔫𝔬𝔫𝔰 V

Spooky season edition!

No specific prompt, just random Halloween shenanigans and general buffoonery with the nameless goons ghouls

Thank you @endhisbloodlineinmyesophagus for inspiration and scream laughing with me as I finished these!

No warnings; cut for formatting.

Swiss:

Once this ghoul learns about Ouija boards, no one can dissuade him from using one

You happened to have one that you had been too afraid to use

He begs and pleads to use it

Does not understand how to use it and does not want to learn

Asks WAY too intricate of questions

To no one's surprise, he gets impatient

“Swiss!” You slap his hands off the board again. “You can’t ask such convoluted questions, it would be impossible to get an answer!”

“What?” He shakes his head, “I just wanted to know how they died!”

“Yes, and that’s a rude question to ask.” He let out a huff so you continued, “Let’s just stick with ‘yes’ or ‘no’ questions, shall we?”

“Fine.” He grumbles, placing two fingers back on the planchette. You follow his l4ead, holding your breath as he thinks of a question. “Did you like music?”

The planchette moves to indicate yes.

“See now we’re getting somewhere.” He bites his bottom lip in deep concentration, “What’s your favorite K-pop group from the last ten years?”

You wanted to throw your hands up in exasperation, but you settled for narrowing your eyes at him, “Swiss, really?”

“I did it again, didn’t I?” His expression went sheepish.

The planchette moves on its own, guiding itself to land over yes again.

“Shit, sorry spirit!”

The two of you ask a couple more easy questions before proclaiming the session closed, moving the planchette to “goodbye”. After closing safely and packing everything up, you give Swiss a playful smack on his shoulder and he just grins at you, knowing full well he deserves to be scolded.

Phantom:

He found a box of Halloween decorations and made the executive decision that it wasn’t nearly enough

After trips to several stores for outdoor decor, he tasks you with helping to put everything up

You two even make a spooky playlist to blast while you work

The decorations look amazing, but are very scary at night

By the time Halloween actually rolls around, kids are too afraid to come up to the front door to trick-or-treat

“Where is everybody?” He’s been pacing since three in the afternoon.

You check your phone: it’s quarter past six now and well-past dark. You pat his bat wing-clad arm, “Maybe the house is too frightening, sometimes when people go overboard the little kids get too scared.”

He squishes his face against the front window, watching groups of trick-or-treaters going up and down the street, kids that pass by do so in a wide arc, you were right: they were too scared to come up.

“I’ve gone overboard!” He exclaims.

Before you can react he grabs the candy bowl and sprints out the front door, tearing down the pathway as the motion-triggered spiders drop down and animatronics all spring to life. They light up, scream, and cackle with voice lines as Phantom reaches the sidewalk and starts tossing candy out like it’s a sport.

Distantly, you hear him yelling, “I promise it’s not scary! Here’s the candy! I’m sorry!”

You cover your mouth as you smile. His enthusiasm is endearing to say the least. “There’s nothing for it now.” You say to yourself as you head out to join him.

You bring the rest of the oversized candy with you and two folding chairs. The two of you sit out front in your costumes and hand out candy to the trick-or-treaters until you run out of candy… because then Phantom starts giving away random things from the house, and that’s where you draw the line.

Dewdrop:

This ghoul wants to be an agent of chaos on Halloween

When you agree to go along with his mischievous plans, he shows you his plans

It’s basically just charcoal scribbles on a lined sheet of paper with random “X’s” on the page

He explains it’s his game plan, the map of where you’ll go to prank houses

When you ask about disguises, he is already prepared with ski masks and black gloves because he “doesn’t want to leave fingerprints”

You don’t waste your time explaining to the ghoul that his clawed fingers won’t leave fingerprints, instead nodding along with his antics

“Get back here!” A grumpy middle-aged man chases you and Dew across his lawn after you’d pelted his front door with eggs.

“Run!” You two split off into two different directions, following his plan perfectly and heading in a roundabout way towards the next victim’s house.

After stopping to catch your breath near some tall hedges, you straighten and walk briskly around the corner to find Dewdrop with his back to you. He looks on high alert, scoping out the area to make sure he can execute his pranks.

Might as well sneak up on him and have a little fun.

“Get off my lawn!” You scream and tickle his sides and he jumps, shrieking and whipping around with the most scared look on his face you’d ever seen.

You fall to the ground, holding your side from the leftover pain from running combined with your inability to breathe from laughing so hard.

“That’s - you! You’re not - ugh!” He stomps his feet, mad as a hornet, which only makes you laugh harder.

As the steam eventually dissipates from Dewdrop’s ears, you rally him to TP the last two houses on the map with you. His devilish grin returns and he cackles as he puts all his effort into throwing the toilet paper rolls over the unsuspecting person’s trees. Meanwhile, you await the ideal opportunity to sneak up behind him again.

Rain:

He is in a rare wholesome mood, asking you to go apple picking

You sense an undertone of delinquency in his request, but you go along with it

Once at the orchard, you lose Rain immediately

You find him later, and he has an entire wheelbarrow full of apples

He climbs from tree to tree like a wild animal

“Save some for everybody else, Rain!”

Your warning goes unheeded by the water ghoul, and he scrambles up the branches up the next tree, “I have to get all the best ones!”

After an exorbitant amount of money spent on apples later, you get home and make several gallons of cider and set it out in a giant punch bowl for everyone to enjoy.

You took a swig of the beverage, expecting a crisp, refreshing taste, but you were instead met with the burn of alcohol. There was only one ghoul to blame. “Rain, what did you do to the apple cider?”

“Uh,” He makes an innocent face, but is unable to meet your gaze, “nothing.”

“It tastes weird, you definitely did something.” You scowl at him, poking him in the shoulder.

He throws his hands up in defense, “Twist my arm why don’t you! I spiked it, what’s the big deal?”

You glance around the room, much to your dismay you realize that everyone is on their second or third refill of the stuff.

“The big deal, foolish ghoul, is everyone is getting lit from what they think is apple cider!”

Because of Rain’s antics you punish him by making him help you clean up the absolute mess everyone left. Hopefully scrubbing the floors of sticky sweet juice will make him think twice before pulling such an idiotic stunt again.

Mountain:

No matter if it’s hot or cold on Halloween night, Mountain wants to be outside

He happens to be a great story teller

And you happen to be a great s’mores maker

Outside + fire pit + scary stories = happy ghoul

(& happy you!)

He gets a crackling fire started in a little fire pit as you arrange the blankets and pillows you stole from the couch, making the space comfy and nice.

You set out the s'mores-making ingredients and tools, and since it’s Halloween, you have some candy to use instead of just plain chocolate bars.

Mountain tells you a scary story about a creature summoned from hell to devour unsuspecting people’s toes. You listen intently as you toast the marshmallows on long skewers, cooking them to the perfect consistency and assembling a s’more for yourself and him.

“That story is true, you know.” He takes a huge bite of his treat.

You reply with your mouth full, “What?”

“That story is about Dew.” He speaks matter-of-factly. You want to laugh but don’t get the chance before -

Speak of the devil.

“Who took my peanut butter cups?!?!” The two of you flinch as Dewdrop’s shrill screech hits your ears.

“Shit, hide the evidence!” You and Mountain shove as many candies in your mouths as you possibly can just as Dew stalks outside, surveying the area, scowling, and heading back inside.

Now you two laugh so hard your sides hurt. Once you finally stop giggling, you resume toasting marshmallows together. Of course, you have to just eat the plain roasted marshmallows by themselves since the chocolate is all gone now. But the sacrifice was well worth it if it meant saving yourselves from a fiery wrath.

Cirrus:

Not-so-secretly watches you making stuff in the kitchen before asking to join you

After you taught her the basics she is basically a sweet treat expert

She doesn’t mind getting her hands sticky, but you do give her your black apron so she can protect her clothes

She is currently obsessed with making the perfect Halloween cookies

After already having created a plethora of treats, Cirrus now refuses to leave the kitchen, staring at the oven with the light on to intimidate the dough inside. “These ones are going to be the best out of all of them.”

“You said that about the last batch, Cirrus.” You grin at her.

Ding! The timer goes off on the little pumpkin-shaped timer next to you and you get up to take the cookies out of the oven.

The heat blasts your face but you’re a seasoned baker, Cirrus, on the other hand, keeps her distance. She hasn't liked the “evil” oven ever since she got a little tiny red burn on her thumb from a baking tray. A burn you promptly treated and covered with a Hello Kitty bandage.

You set the tray on a little potholder on the counter and glance around. Popcorn balls, rice cereal treats, caramel apples, Oreo spiders, and chocolate pretzels all sit on the counter staring at you waiting to be wrapped up.

“I think we should get these cleaned up before everyone gets home, what do you think?” You ask.

“Yes! I can’t have them gobbling up all the goodies like the greedy goblins they are.” She promptly gobbles a fresh cookie to emphasize her point.

Cirrus helps you package up everything nicely, using Halloween-themed containers, sneaking samples of every item at least once as you clean up. You both have to lock everything up so the rest of the siblings don’t come home and tear through all the snacks before you get a chance to have seconds.

Cumulus:

This ghoul has so much creativity and she has to get it out

You two decide to go to a pumpkin patch to find the ideal pair of pumpkins to carve

Cumulus picks out matching outfits for both of you, perfect for photo opportunities

With a couple of sweet fall drinks, you load up in the car ready to go

She drags you along to the patch of overpriced pumpkins

“Hurry up! All the good ones will be gone!” She calls your name over her shoulder and skips quickly ahead of you into the fray of kids and young adults scrambling over pumpkins laying about on hay bales.

After much deliberation, Cumulus has chosen a perfectly round pumpkin for herself and a nice, tall one for you.

Later.

You’ve barely got the pumpkin guts out and your hands are covered in slime, wrists weak from the effort as Cumulus asks you if you want to see her creation.

“You’re finished already?” Disbelief coats your tongue.

“Well, yeah!” She pivots the orange pumpkin to face you, and you see the intricately carved cat and moon she has free handed. “This was so fun! Can I help you with yours?”

“I’d love that, actually.” You fling your hand to remove some of the sticky seeds.

You need not dwell in despair for long, as Cumulus will surely help you with the carving of your pumpkin. They look amazing all lit up on the porch at night, and you take a cute selfie with her to commemorate the occasion.

Aurora:

It’s a mistake to bring Aurora with you to the store when all of the Halloween candy and decor is out

She wants everything

Good thing you have Papa’s credit card…

Sooner rather than later you have a cart full of stuff and she’s still not satisfied, filling her arms full of goodies with as much as she can carry

“Oh can we get these too?” She holds up a pack of 50 cellophane bags, each printed with pumpkins, bats, and skulls.

“Put it in the cart.” You’d given up at this point on telling the sweet ghoul “no”.

Finally satisfied with her menagerie of candies, snacks, decorations, Halloween themed pencils and miscellaneous items, you push the cart to the check out.

The cashier looks you up and down and sighs, being forced to scan all of the things Aurora picked out apparently is the bane of their existence.

She puts on the aux in the car, and you listen to “This is Halloween” from the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack for the ninetieth time today while you shove the bags inside the trunk.

You two drive back home and lay everything out all over the floor, making a huge mess. It will all be worth it though.

Aurora shines as she hands out the goodie bags to all the trick-or-treaters on Halloween night. You smile widely until you hear Papa yelling from the other room as he discovers how much money you two spent.

I hope these make you ghesties laugh as much as I did ○( ＾皿＾)っ

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bunnikida · 8 months

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Thank you for the tag @irritable123 , sorry the long chain in the original post was stressing me out decided to make a separate one

3 ships: shukake, soukoku, kavetham

First ship ever: uhh I think Zero and Vin from invisible network of kids - might also have been prideshipping(seto kaiba x atem)

Last song: Get on the Floor by Fling Posse, I'm listening to my hypmic playlist :))

Last movie: it's been so long since I've watched a movie so I genuinely have no idea

Currently Reading: countless scientific articles about electron microscopy to get my god damn paper done that I've been working on for an entire month 🙃 but I did buy Flowers of Buffoonery by Dazai Osamu to read once I'm done with this soul sucking thing

Currently watching: Bungou Stray Dogs season 5 (nothing else hsjdjdjn)

Currently consuming: nothing. But when I first saw this post I was drinking a hibiscus iced tea lemonade which basically just tasted like lemon

Currently craving: the hash greens that my mom is cooking right now, they smell amazing

Tagging: @daz4i, @sowlmates, @enigma-the-anomaly, @the-gayest-sky-kid, @ice-devourer

No pressure of course :)

#tag game

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tvintedspvrkmoved · 6 months

Text

hahahah i'm losing my mind ??????

so two very cool things are true right now which are :

- in twelve days my best girl will have existed in some form for an entire year - i'm about to be able to say there are officially HUNDREDS of you here ???? like as in the plural form ??????

neither of these things make any sense to me , but since both are true i figured it would be a good time to do what i guess is a little follow forever type thing. SO. here are some of the people who have helped emma grow and develop and also helped me grow and develop as a person and as a writer 🤍

-------------------------- ★ ---------------------------

@dalphahale : honestly a day one bc i didn't really do very much with emma until around march i think and that's around when we started writing if i'm not mistaken ?? one of the best / most show accurate dereks i've ever come across and one of the best people too !!!! you're an incredible writer and honestly a saint in human form for putting up with me ooc lmao it's an honor to bless your dms every day with the most random and chaotic messages and thoughts and only be a LITTLE bit judged for it 😂 derek and emma are one of the most adorable ships i've ever seen and derek and allison are iconic as well i just think you're the bee's knees okay you're stuck with some form of my chaos indefinitely i fear 🤷‍♀️

@stanfordprepped : jared. JARED. another og and one of my best friends in the rpc. samemma is so unbelievably iconic and i'm so amazed and proud of everything that's come from them and from us writing together and from you in general i'm SO excited about charlotte's development and about samlena and about just all of our dynamics ahhhhh you are so unbelievably strong and talented and you deserve every good thing in the entire world bc the love and respect that you hold for others even on your worst days is so admirable i can't even fathom it sometimes.

@multi-royalty : MADDIE MY BELOVED i ????? owe so much of everything i've accomplished this year to you 😭🙏 you not only pulled me back when i was debating whether or not to even continue writing , but helped to develop some of my most cherished muses and threads and plots and headcanons. you're the sweetest little bean in the entire world and i can't even begin to thank you for everything you've done for and with me and the light that you bring to this community even when you can't see it 🤍

@guiltye : bitch i'll yell FOREVER at and about you are you kidding ????? your writing gives me literal chills and the plots that we have are some of the deepest most complex and incredible dynamics i've ever been a part of. you've been through so much this year and kicked ass until you got to the other side and still managed to help ME through so much too and i'm sure so many others and i just adore you okay i live for all lilly content but especially your ooc posts bc i just think your brain is so neat and i love getting to glimpse into it sometimes you're just incredible 🥹🤍 ps thank u for letting me yell about noah kahan without abandon and getting in ur feelings about him with me lol

@boundforhale // @stilesstylelinski : obviously i had to put y'all together you can't split up the gremlins okay. i love you both so much and i actually can't even begin to describe how much you guys have helped me this year both to be a better writer and to get through so many rough patches irl. i'm still not entirely convinced that australia is real but if it DOES exist i will not rest until i can fly there and we can all meet at a central location and proceed to just implode the whole universe with the sheer chaos and buffoonery. y'all are actually family at this point i don't know what i would do without you fr

@carp3diems : LISTEN HERE BITCH bff bestie angel i love you to pieces and if you ever leave me again i'll riot !!!! you're genuinely one of the coolest people i've ever met and i love all of our dynamics so damn much but what we've created with colbemma is just so insane and incredible and i know i just screamed about this in the dms but i genuinely cannot believe they started out hating each other lmao they're truly iconic and i can't wait to see how they continue to grow and thrive and also how YOU continue to grow and thrive

@redhoodiskra : A. you are an actual ray of sunshine and so incredibly talented and WAY TOO HARD ON YOURSELF and completely amazing and fantastic and i just love you a lot !!!! stiles and emma and the little family they've created make my heart so happy and so do all of our other dynamics !!!! we haven't written much on @westwingsolo yet and we absolutely should change that bc i'm in awe of you and your writing and the creativity you bring to your muses they're both so special and you can 100% see the love you've put into both.

i wish i could write everyone a little message but here are some more lovelies that you should absolutely go follow !!!! a lot of them have other pages with more incredible muses as well 🤍

@fuckmeupindie , @hellgiven , @gunchamber , @ofcrxwns , @escapedfromthevoiid , @ruinedmyself , @goldenboybarracuda , @delicatestm , @sarcasticsnackpack , @fidelissimi , @ofblackskies , @ratkiing , @snnydcys , @flamefallen , @impurc , @clockturned , @r4chelamber , @unbearablyindifferent , @mystictragedies , @conradfish3r , @jimh9334 , @jchnwinchester , @qapsiel , @thornstocutyouwith , @unitcd , @surgcns , @localsalt , @mecwmellc

#[ 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 . // 𝘰𝘰𝘤 ]#{ if ur not on here and we've written or interacted ooc or on the dash more than a few times im APOLOGIZING PROFUSELY }#{ i love every interaction i just have a little peanut brain and the memory of a goldfish }

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kookaburra-laugh · 1 year

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I read that in 2022 - OFMD Edition

2022 brought a new fandom to fall into, and fall i did. on this second day of 2023 i bring recs for our favorite gay disaster pirates

the knife and the throat by darcylindbergh @forpiratereasons rated E | 35k+ words (ongoing)

Red sky at morning, sailor's warning.

Blackbeard hadn’t been lying when he'd said he didn’t feel fear. Fear was about having something to lose, and Blackbeard always wins.

Turning Tides by Fyre @amuseoffyre rated M | 81k words

My speculative S2 of Our Flag Means Death. Featuring everyone :)

the undersell of the century. perfectly captures the vibe of the show. season 2 while we wait for season 2

Storm Surge by Fyre @amuseoffyre rated M | 62k words

A speculative S3 of Our Flag Means Death, following on directly from the events of Turning Tides, my speculative S2.

kept me on the seat of my chair the whole way though. what an amazing follow up

inhale (exhale) by the_moonmoth @themoonmothwrites rated E | 898 words

"You've seriously never?" he asks, subtly guiding Stede back towards his bed.

"Well it's not exactly the kind of thing respectable people get up to," Stede explains, abashed.

"Not exactly respectable anymore, are you?"

The Art of Buggery by summerofspock @summerofspock rated E | 1k words

“Just fucking–” Ed wriggles around on the small mattress in the captain’s quarters and tries to grab Stede’s hand but somehow grabs a tit. Stede squeaks and slaps him away. “Just fucking put it in.”

Ed and Stede give it a go.

a silly bit of buggery

in the margins by weatheredlaw @weatheredlaw rated T | 3k words

At this stage of his life, it’s important for him to realize nothing exciting will ever happen to him. That he is too old for spontaneity, but too young still to die. He reads a book about pirates. His namesake occasionally appears. Stede feels a kinship with him that goes beyond the name and the page, grips him like a vise and won’t let go.

or: Ed and Stede choose each other in this life. And the next. And the next. And the next.

on the bed of this blue ocean by kirkaut @kirkaut rate T | 9.5k words

Ed’s made up his mind: if he ever lays eyes on Stede fucking Bonnet again, he’s a dead man.

Ed’s had six months of Stedeless-ness, and six months of thinking about all the terrible things he’d do to him when they saw each other again.

Somehow, it never occurred to him to think that they’d never have the chance.

love a good chartreuse by FortinbrasFTW @fortinbrasftw rate G | 3k words

In which Stede has a pitbull named Venny, Ed has a terrier named Cat, and it's a lovely spring day in Washington Square Park for falling in love with strangers.

in the emerald green by darcylindbergh @forpiratereasons rated E | 3k words

And Stede likes Ed, here and now, with the fresh smell of the wind and the salt in his hair, stripped down to nothing but an emerald green banyan and the ink in his skin, climbing back into the bed.

a soft morning together in bed, pondering a tattoo

A Night At Blackbeards's Bar and Grill by soft_october @soft-october-night rated T | 5.5k words

The manager at the new restaurant Stede is trying to review is being kind of a dick. A certain member of the waitstaff, however, takes a bit of a liking to him.

O happy living things by tiptory rated E | 4.5k words

“When I wake,” Stede said, quite conversationally, “from such dreams, I feel like I really am that slug, and that it’s a great injustice I lived to destroy so many beautiful gardens and never even had the decency to feed myself to a hungry bird. And my whole crew knows it, and you as well, and the only reason for anyone to stay aboard is sheer hopelessness, some deep and primordial longing for death. That at least my buffoonery might entertain them while together we dig our own watery grave.”

He sipped his tea, primly. Edward opened his mouth and closed it again, then reached, dizzily, for his own cup.

“But it’s not true,” said Stede.

put me back together by ShowMeAHero @andillwriteyouatragedy rated T | 4k words

or: lucius accidentally gives stede a flesh wound, and ed loses his mind like they're not all pirates.

Bit of a Clothes Horse by Aivelin, Fyre @aivelin @amuseoffyre rated E | 9k words

Stede tossed down the invitation card on the couch. “On the contrary!” He scrambled to his feet “You’re not wearing anything that beastly man owned. You deserve something far better, especially for your first time out. If we’re going to a party, you’re getting all the luxury you deserve.”

Cabin Pressure by entanglednow @entanglednow rated E | 6k words

Contrary to Stede's insistence there was not enough space for two in the bed, not unless they wanted to get very close indeed.

Domestic by Ark @et-in-arkadia rated E | 33k words

Or: Ed and Stede leave the island together, and they don’t look back.

an absolute treat. building a life together, nice and slow

Buttercup by mia_ugly @mia-ugly rated E | 13.5k words

The thing is, when you’re Blackbeard you’ve got kind of a reputation to uphold. When you captain a ship, when you lead a crew, when people look up to you, tell stories, build a legend – parts of that legend are always more accurate than others.

Clean Slated State by Justkeeptrekkin @justkeeptrekkin rated E | 42.5k words

Stede is ready to 'get back out there' after his divorce, but he's more than a little bit intimidated by the concept of online dating. After a series of truly terrible first dates, he's close to giving up on love altogether. Perhaps he's too old for all this Grindr nonsense.

And then, along comes a bartender called Edward Teach.

incredibly hot and funny and middle age romance

Revenge by feriowind @feriowind rated T

An offering to the Kraken goes awry.-- Multi-page comic set post S1.

if you get the time, the number is still mine by one_more_page @one-more-page rated M | 24.5k words

A series of phone calls as Stede and Ed go from childhood friends, to adults who can't connect, to something more.

Room People S02E01: Roommates to Husbands to ??? by nightbloomingcereus @moondawntreader rated T | 1.5k words

Frenchie and Wee John are the hosts of the popular Room People podcast. Someone named Steve-with-a-V (definitely his real name and not a cunning alias) calls in with a thrilling tale of marriage fraud.

Based on that one Marriage Fraud tiktok.

your name like a boat by mia_ugly, soft_october @mia-ugly @soft-october-night rated E | 39k words

Sailors call them watermarks. A gift from the sea, a name or symbol written on your chest, meant to guide you to your own true love.

But Stede Bonnet's mark doesn't look like anything at all. Not really. And it certainly doesn't look like 'Edward' or 'Teach' or 'Blackbeard' or a black beard and that's fine. Completely fine.

Ed's absolutely fine with it.

#ofmd #our flag means death #fic rec #thanks for losing your minds at sea with me

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dustedmagazine · 4 months

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Ian Mathers’ 2023: J'suis fatiguée tu sais pas c'que j'suis fatiguée

a picture of Mandy, Indiana by Chris Hogge

It has been, if you’ll pardon the language, a stupid fucking year (or maybe it’s just, as Yo La Tengo correctly diagnosed, this stupid world). On any number of levels: for me, personally; in terms of international politics (although “stupid” is treating multiple ongoing genocides with a bit too much flippancy); the endless buffoonery of local politics; the people we’ve lost, even as the now pretty totally unchecked global progress of COVID thrashes peoples’ immune systems if not taking them out itself; and all of this means I barely have any energy these days to worry about our imminent environmental collapse (remember?). It’s been a grind, but as always music is one of the things that make life worthwhile, despite it all.

Even musically, I felt a bit adrift at times in 2023; one of my longstanding methods of music discovery, the esteemed group review site The Singles Jukebox, called it quits in 2022. And except for one last round of our traditional year-end Amnesty picks (where each writer gets to pick one song for coverage with none of the normal criteria for selection), that very much appeared to be that. And then a stray Discord comment late this year led to getting the band back together, and starting in late November the Jukebox has made a pretty amazing (temporary!) return. As always, that led to me encountering a ton of stuff I simply never would have heard of otherwise (and some new discoveries even slipped onto the lists below, just one more reason the practice most places have of running year end stuff early December makes me wince). It didn’t shift my existing favourites from 2023 much, nor did I expect it to, but it did make me feel like I had more context on the year as a whole, across more places and scenes and genres than I did before (but still incomplete, always incomplete).

This in turn feels tied to a change in my year-end list methodology. At this point I feel like I’m never going to settle on a consistent format forever and ever amen; different years pull different things out of me (both in terms of listening and in terms of sharing), and there’s also a bit of a pendulum-swing effect. For the past two years I’ve gone expansive, 40+ records, various other lists to get more things in. This was me chafing at (entirely self-imposed!) restrictions from years past, and it gave me a sense of freedom, even relief. I still stand by those lists (as much as I stand by any part of my past self). But this year looking at my account of what I’d listened to, realizing my shortlist was around 50 LPs and that if I was applying the kind of criteria I’d used recently I could easily include them all… I could feel myself wanting to go in the other direction. It took me a lot longer than I expected to pare that shortlist down to 20 albums (still an arbitrary number!), and I found the process oddly satisfying. Trying to decide what made those last couple of spots had me thinking harder about what I currently value and what my year has been like (and what my differing experiences with all these pieces of music were like) than I’d had to in a while.

Those longer lists have virtues this one doesn’t, of course; I have an even keener than normal feeling of leaving things out, of failing to adequately represent myself or music or… something. So while it’s true every year that there are records I loved that I don’t represent in any list, I feel the need to re-emphasize that truth here, specifically. Sometimes what made the cut over the days I spent putting this together surprised me; there are albums I wrote positive things about that I fully expected to be here that are hovering just out of sight in the 21-25 range. Some of them are represented in the accompanying list of songs that either don’t have albums or just stood out from their surroundings (and as last year I’ve tried to track down music videos, a form I still love, for all of those). From past experience, some of those standouts will wind up representing albums that, if I’d gotten more time with them this year, could have made it onto the main list. I also couldn’t let go of one of my secondary lists; I just really love EPs, and I wish more people made them (even if one of the entrants this year is long enough I’d normally consider it an album, if not for the band themselves dubbing it an EP).

As always these lists are alphabetical instead of ranked (and where I wrote about them, I’ve linked to it here); as I said, just narrowing them down was hard enough. I have no idea how to assess the relative merits of (say) L’Rain’s playfully, kaleidoscopically deep I Killed Your Dog versus a.s.o.’s self-titled, lush trip hop throwback versus the Drin’s gnomic, garage-bound bad vibes. They’re all great. But I did have two that felt like albums of my year, in different ways. The first of the National’s two 2023 records, First Two Pages of Frankenstein, was already a favourite when some of the personal stuff I alluded to above made me profoundly grateful that they’d put out this record, about mental health and the ends of things and mixed feelings, in this particular year (and then they put out a second record, which is not here because nobody gets to double dip, but it’s also good). I had a less specifically autobiographical resonance with Mandy, Indiana’s incredible debut i’ve seen a way but it did blow me away on purely sonic grounds in a way few bands have in the last decade or so. The greatness of that record to me is in more than just how stunningly different it felt the first few times I played it (although that was an experience I loved); as I said when I made their “Pinking Shears” my Amnesty pick for the Jukebox this year, it felt like a second miracle when the album did cohere into a set of songs that they wound up being some of my favourite songs of the year. Despite all the other ways I’ve been tired in 2023, it’s never been with music, and artists like the following (and the prospect of whatever I’ll encounter next year) are the reason why.

20 LPS

a.s.o. — a.s.o. (Low Lying Records)

ALL HANDS_MAKE LIGHT — “Darling the Dawn” (Constellation)

Avalon Emerson — & the Charm (Another Dove)

Brìghde Chaimbeul — Carry Them With Us (tak:til)

Carly Rae Jepsen — The Loveliest Time (Interscope)

Chappell Roan — The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess (Island)

The Drin — Today My Friend You Drunk the Venom (Feel It)

Eluvium — (Whirring Marvels In) Consensus Reality (Temporary Residence Limited)

Ghost Marrow — earth + death (The Garotte)

The Hives — The Death of Randy Fitzsimmons (Disques Hives)

L’Rain — I Killed Your Dog (Mexican Summer)

Ladytron — Time’s Arrow (Cooking Vinyl)

Mandy, Indiana — i’ve seen a way (Fire Talk)

Mute Duo — Migrant Flocks (American Dreams)

The National — First Two Pages of Frankenstein (4AD)

Pearly Drops — A Little Disaster (Cascine)

Spanish Love Songs — No Joy (Pure Noise)

Tacoma Park — Tacoma Park (Self Released)

Tørrfall — Tørrfall (De Pene Inngang)

Yo La Tengo — This Stupid World (Matador)

5 EPS

Babygirl — Be Still My Heart (Sandlot)

Death of Heather — Forever (Big Romantic)

hkmori — forever (Self Released)

Tara Clerkin Trio — On the Turning Ground (World of Echo)

Weaklung — We Bring About Our Own Demise (Self Released)

20 MORE SONGS

100 gecs — “Hollywood Baby”

Blur — “Barbaric”

boygenius — “Not Strong Enough”

Caroline Polachek — “Dang”

Dua Lipa — “Houdini”

Eslabon Armado y Peso Pluma — "Ella Baila Sola"

Jiraya Uai & MC Tarapi — “Hoje Tem Rodeio, Baile De Favela”

Kesha — “Eat the Acid”

Lexie Liu — “delulu”

Maria BC — “Mercury”

Mitski — “My Love Mine All Mine”

Olivia Rodrigo — “bad idea right?”

Picastro — “Earthseed”

Raye ft. 070 Shake — “Escapism.”

Sho Madjozi — “Chale”

Tinashe — “Needs”

Tyla — “Water”

Troye Sivan — “Rush”

Victoria Monét — “On My Mama”

Water From Your Eyes — “Barley”

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