We once saw someone on a tiktok common section claim that "14 year old systems claiming to have like 400+ alters are always fake".. as if there's like an age limit for how many alter you can have? What— "oh, sorry, you're just 14, you should only have 40 alters!" Huh!?

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This is the actual mood chart, but there's a lot of really interesting information in the actual post!

P-treon: 47andcounting

Is it okay that we've never known the real count of our head mates? We have very heavy barriers between us + aphantasia and as a result even though I'm always in front (idk why? I've just never ever been able to leave the front, I'm not always in control though, when I'm in front and not in control t feels like I'm watching the body from above) and sometimes I'm aware that someone is in front with us, I still am not aware of how many of us there are or what most of them do. There have been many times where I can look back and say ohh someone else was in front w/ me and that's why we behaved that way but I cant easily identify anyone at all especially when I don't even rlly know what makes me "me"? All of us refer to the body as "I" frequently but it's more like different versions of the same person with different likes/dislikes sometimes and things like that, and I have some of that stuff in my notebooks but I can just never actually talk to them much at all and have no idea how many of us exist

hey, this is totally fine and tbh we feel like this is a normal experience for many systems, especially those who are newly discovered or still trying to make sense of their plurality. it took us over 2 years to get more or less of an accurate headcount of how many alters we have, and that was with a ton of work internally and pretty intensive therapy every week. and tbh there are probably even more alters that us in the main fronting group don’t know about… it comes with the territory of having dissociation issues.

it’s okay to not know how many headmates are in your system. maybe that answer will come with time and effort, or maybe not, but we think what’s more important is showing respect, kindness, and acceptance to the headmates that you do meet.

if you’re not already, you may find it useful to start using the simplyplural app to keep track of the headmates you know about. you can leave notes in some conspicuous place to urge the other members of your system to use it too. that way, y’all can collaborate to start building a database of your headmates so you can at least start trying to get a better idea of how many members your system has. of course, you could alternatively start keeping track of this information in a notebook or document. hopefully, with time and patience, you’ll be able to get a better idea of the size and scope of your system.

we hope this helps… we know trying to learn how many members are in your system can be a daunting task, especially if you have strong dissociative barriers between headmates. but we’re wishing you the best of luck with figuring this out! rest assured, your experience is pretty common, especially for those of us who struggle with heavy dissociative barriers between members.

I just wanna rant about somthing really quick!!!

So uh if you’re a singlet (or even a system- though it’s less likely) and you see a system don’t ask them how many alters they have and then shame them for it because of their age. (And of course you can ask a sys how many alters they have but it depends on their boundaries!!) (just don’t fake claim)

One time a person quite literally asked our age and when we asked why they just said “oh cuz you seem so mature” like uh… okay?

Then like 3 weeks later we got fakeclaimed (by the same person) because we “can’t have that many alters at that age.” Like seriously? Every system is different, every system splits differently etc. you can’t just be like “they’re faking cuz they have a lot of alters!!! 🤓” buddy no that’s not how it works.

Anyways that made us feel horrible for months so uh just don’t do that!!!

Sorry for the very short rant (and a little of a vent 😭)

-Onyx

Literally just a rant about having to tell ppl about our alter count & being scared about being fakeclaimed

Ngl we hate having to tell our friends about our updated alter count, cause they always gape or ask "what happened?" And we don't know or we just don't want to answer

We understand their confusion and surprise but sometimes it feels weird? Idk. It might just be us being scared of them fakeclaiming us BC we have "too many" alters. They often bring up how high our alter count is but like, we're not sure if it's even that high, we literally only have 118 (maybe more-?) Alters

Though we are a P-DID system which adds onto the stress cause like we're pretty sure P-DID systems have low alter counts usually but we can't fucking tell BC there's hardly any research and we're scared someone's gonna fakeclaim us 😭

-zim

Changing this blog's title to "Approximately 23 Unfinished Sewing Projects" in an attempt to publicly shame myself into maybe finishing some of them.

I’m a system of 24. Call that 23 and me

Feel free to clarify what you are in tags or comments!

trans flag i embroidered on my pants today :)

Well... Considering I'm not sure if we'll ever get to see them, here's a Sunny and Basil variants designs for the HIKKO & OMARI blog I had made......

New post on the $5 tier

I want to be able to love my OCs like Dollya loves Lya and Lyah 🫠

I simply give my children what I wish my parents could give me

Can we talk about the cello scene from @ekingston 'The Shape of Soup'?

Because I need to talk about the cello scene.

I'm NOT over the cello scene!

I am never forgiving Vessel for closing Sundowning with the song Blood Sport and opening This Place Will Become Your Tomb with Atlantic. Sir how could you do that to your fans? This is just too painful 😭😭

discovering alters is Not Fun™

-host