what kind of things (media, music, etc) have you been into!!

hello anon!

honestly it’s been equally all over the place and nowhere!

i’ve gotten back into webtoons but at least every other week i forget to read updates - kind of a bingey gorl - but i’ve really been enjoying whale star (historical and a bit of romance), a martial master wakes up as a concubine (such a cute artstyle, such a silly/cute mc, probably going to end up being my fave of all time), the fox club, and most any villainess stories (even the crappy ones. bit of a guilty pleasure across the board, even outside webtoons).

i want to get into d&d! but i haven’t gotten to it yet cause it feels a little daunting.

as for music, i think i’d say it’s somewhere between folk, pop, and like… i guess stuff that just feels intimate, at least to me. like listening to an old friend slowly unravel? the lumineers, noah kahan, cage the elephant (this one’s not exactly new, but… it’s sticky! not my fault.), and then the random spattering of j-pop, j-rock, and the haikyuu osts on loop for about three days in a row most of the time.

speaking of haikyuu, i’ve been wanting to get back into it! and to pick up jujutsu kaisen again! but. like the d&d. a lot of thinking about it, a little less doing.

i’m also keeping up with single’s inferno, and, despite her mistakes, rooting for jinseok and minyoung! i think she’s relateable to some extent so i feel for her 😭. also watched the ‘celebrity’ kdrama a little while back and loooooooved it. watching king of the land now and still deciding how i feel about it. kind of wanna go back and watch my comfort kdrama (angel’s last mission: love) but i’m not sure when i’ll be able to. my want-to-do list is pretty long.

also, i love ballet! i have since last year. i really wanna go see the nutcracker before the holiday season’s up, but it’s a little too bougie for me for now. still love listening to swan lake and nutcracker recordings whenever though. i think ballet’s just beautiful. i always wish i could’ve grown up learning it. not sure i have the balance or instinct for it now. can’t even manage normal casual dancing so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

in any case, ty for the ask!! <33

bags (s.h.)

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: you'd loved steve since you were fifteen, followed him wherever he went. so when you were finally over him, stumbling home with another man clinging to your side, why was he waiting by your doorstep?

warnings: (unedited) angst angst angst, best friend robin and nancy but also lovers <3 robin and nancy <3, swearing, drinking, clubbing/partying, self-deprecating thoughts and a stubborn reader, steve is kind of an asshole despair and dread lol, this went a route i hadn't expected but i'm feeling achey and sad tonight so :) enjoy :) and don't hate me!

wc: 2.2k+

note: i hope this isn't entirely ass lol i just want steve harrington to break my heart but like i cant put my ideas into words and its SO FRUSTRATING but whatever :’)

Can you see me? I'm waiting for the right time I can't read you, but if you want, the pleasure's all mine Can you see me using everything to hold back? I guess this could be worse Walkin' out the door with your bags

You should’ve known it’d end up this way. His back, coloured shades of blue and purple as dusk kissed at his skin, retreating into the distance and down the very road you’d just stumbled up only moments earlier. Maybe if you had listened a little closer, noticed a little more, the way he grabbed at your waist, squeezed your palms, held you close, you could’ve avoided it all. The shock and heartbreak and unbearable yearning only to turn up empty and desolate all over again.

Because you loved Steve Harrington, in more ways than he would ever know, but it had taken days, months, years, even, to get over that initial infatuation and belly flutter you’d been plagued with as teenagers. He was King Steve and you but a peasant, a shadow, one of many, that flocked to his side when he waved or smiled or tripped you up.

You loved Steve Harrington, but you hated him for waiting so long to work up the courage to just say it. I love you; I’ve always loved you, you wanted to say, but the words refused to pass the seal of your lips and instead you were left gaping at an empty spot on the ground, a Steve-shaped hole in your heart.

It’d been days since you’d seen him last, mourning his absence but refusing to sit around like you might’ve done if you were still seventeen. But no, you weren’t seventeen, you were a twenty-something independent that went out and did things and met people and kissed them if you wanted, maybe even take them home to your one-bedroom that would be otherwise empty without Steve plastered to your sofa, a hand stuffed into the popcorn you kept around because he once said he didn’t entirely hate it.

And that’s what you had done, convinced Nancy and Robin to leave the haze of their never-ending honeymoon phase to take you dancing. The drinks hadn’t stopped coming. Every time you gulped down a shot, another would be shoved into your hand before you’d had time to comprehend the reality of what you were going to do. To sleep with a stranger in the same space you’d watched Rocky with Steve only days earlier. You’d called and asked and begged him to come over, to join you, Nancy and Robin, but he’d bit at you in that way he sometimes did. The harsh edges of his teenage-self making itself known in ways you’d have liked to forget.

“Stop it, babes. I know what you’re doing,” Robin scolded, frowning at the dip between your brows and the lost look in your eyes. You forced a smile then, and she scoffed at the minimal effort you put into hiding your feelings, always having excelled at letting them take over your features even when you didn’t mean them to. Of course, every knew, everyone could see it in the way you trailed after him, like a lost puppy begging for an ounce of attention. Steve was cruel with the crumbs he handed you, but he didn’t know any better.

Everyone knew and everyone could see but Steve had always stood out, the most handsome, the most fit, the most clueless. And maybe that’s why you were perfect for each other because you hadn’t known either, had you.

“Come on, up you get!” Robin urged, pulling you from your chair with Nancy already clinging to her side, shuffling the three of you with what little sobriety she had left in her to the dance floor, pulsing lights and thrumming bodies none-the-wiser to the way you heart was cracking open.

So, you jumped and danced and bounced to the beat in ways you didn’t know you were capable of. Free and without regret and it wasn’t until someone was staring at you from across the room, watching your every moment with a fascination you’d never been subject to, that you stopped, pressing past Nancy and Robin with a tip of your head that assured them you’d be back.

He, whoever he was, surged into action, coming behind you at the bar where you were busy asking for a glass of water. You turned and smiled, stomach dipping, because he was attractive and strong, and he had these kind eyes and soft lips that looked like they’d be otherworldly against your skin. He introduced himself but the music obscured his words, so you nodded and pretended and wondered why you were dreading this conversation when it had only just begun.

He pulled you into a somewhat quieter corner after you’d gestured it was alright, and really, he seemed as surprised as you were when you all but pounced, mouth meeting his, open and desperate. He hadn’t complained, had probably seen it coming in the quiet desperation of your eyes. Of course, he didn’t know it was because of the way you wished it was someone else kissing you into the wall and not some all-consuming lust you were fueled by.

The next thing you knew you were huddled into the backseat of a cab, then stumbling across the gravel to your front door.

And that’s when you saw him. Sat on the bottom step of your apartment’s front door, gaze focused on the way whatever-his-name-was smirked into your neck, having probably thought you had stopped for a smooch and not because the man you had loved, unrequited, for close to a decade was staring at you like you’d stabbed him right in the chest, and twisted.

“Steve?” you whispered, loud enough to prompt Harrington off the step and marching across the short distance to you. “What are you—” but you never had a chance to ask him before he was swinging a left hook right into the guy’s jaw.

“Steve!” and you were shouting now, pushed to side as the stranger retaliated out of instinct, socking him in the nose. Steve looked like he was grinning, blood dripping into his mouth, like he was enjoying the feel of getting the shit beat out of him. “Stop it! Steve! I said—” you yanked him back, shoving him behind you as you rushed forward to-- fuck. You still don’t know his name.

“I’m sorry— Jesus Christ—” you swore when you noticed how his eye was already bruising as he shook you off. “I don’t know why he did that. I—I’m—"

His words were bitter when he responded, shooting daggers at the looming figure you were keenly aware was still behind you before meeting your pleading eyes. “It’s fine. It’s fine,” he assured you, squeezing your hip as he moved past you to leave. “You should talk to your boyfriend, you know, before you bring anyone else over.”

“I’m not—He’s not—” but he was gone, and you were still reeling from what had just happened, what Steve had just done. You turned, anger coursing through you so violently your hands were shaking. “Fucking hell—Steve! What the fuck are you doing here? And what the fuck was that?!”

“Were you going to fuck him?” he asked plainly, bluntly, shirt pulled to his face as he tried to stop the bleeding. There was still that wild look in his eyes, a flush to his skin, like he too was dazed and confused.

“What—I--- how is that any of your fucking business?” you answered back, shoving a finger against his chest. He was immovable though, only grabbed at your hand and held it until your palm was flat against the front of him. You could feel, now, the reckless thrum of his heartbeat, and you asked yourself how you’d gotten here in the first place, pushed up against a bloodied and bruised Steve Harrington.

“Just tell me. If I hadn’t been sat here, would you have fucked him?”

And you didn’t completely understand it, didn’t know what answer he was looking for—the one that was acquiesce him enough to explain himself or at the very least go inside and forget about all this ever happening—so instead you answered honestly. “Yes,” but your voice cracked at the end, so you snatched your hand back, cradling it to yourself like an injured bird you hoped to keep cocooned in your warm. You cleared your throat and tried again. “Yeah, I would have slept with him. And if it hadn’t been him, I would have found someone else.”

He nodded, looking as if he were pained but you were certain, now, it wasn’t because of the punch he’d taken to the face. “And if I had answered your call, met you there, got drunk and kissed you, would you have fucked me, too?”

You reeled at his words, feeling entirely as though you were the one in the midst of a fight. “Where is this coming from, Steve? Why are you saying these things to me?” you begged, pleaded, tired of whatever back-and-forth the two of you had gotten into the habit of.

“Look—” and he was determined now, steely gaze pinning you to the ground. His bruised knuckles brushed through his hair, scattering the strands across his forehead so that your fingers tingled with the urge to brush them out of his eyes like you’d always done. “—I should’ve said this ages ago. I just—I never could because it was never the right time, and I didn’t really see you in that way, not when I knew you did—” and really you wanted to stop him there, let the Earth swallow you whole and spit your bones out to be buried far from here. “I knew you had this—this thing for me but I ignored it but then we became friends and we—I mean, we watch movies, and we cuddle on the couch and sometimes I think I’d like to do that with you all the time and—

“Steve, please,” you whispered through the tears flooding past your irises, looking anywhere but at him, cheeks flushed with humiliation. He’d always had this tight grip around your heart and maybe he didn’t know that with every word he spoke that grip tightened, and tightened, and you were sure your heart was going to burst if he didn’t shut up right then.

“Just listen—I want to do those things with you always, sweetheart, I really do. I could’ve—I mean, I should’ve communicated my feelings earlier, I know I should have, but I didn’t want to lie to you. Not when you mean so much to me and I couldn’t give you what you wanted.” He looked at you then, expectantly, reaching forward to pull you into his embrace but you stumbled back, wanting out of the hold he had on you in more ways than one.

“Am I meant to thank you for looking at me differently now?” you bit out, exhaustion coating your syllables like rust on a nail.

His face fell as he stuttered over his own words. “I mean—no, sweetheart, no, of course not, I just thought—”

“You thought because I’m pathetic—because I’ve always been fucking pathetic to you—stumbling after you since high school that I’d just be, what, waiting for you? That I’d welcome your change of heart with open arms and gratitude?” you scoffed, gaze narrowed as you watched that wall of his build itself back up. Your ego was bruised and you were too stubborn to admit it, because you thought he had been clueless, and that thought had kept you safe all these years as you curled into his side every weekend.

“I don’t think that. I’ve never thought that” he cautioned, temper rising. If Steve Harrington was anything it was beautiful, and if he wasn’t beautiful, he was angry, stubborn, a pot ready to boil over.  

“Come on, Steve. You said it yourself: I’ve had a thing for you since freshmen year. I followed you after we graduated, and I’ve followed you again, here, now. It took me years—fucking years—to get over it, to accept that I’d never be more than a friend, if that, and now, after you’ve been dodging me for days, you turn around and confess some sort of miracle feelings for me?” You were panting, out of breath from the way the words spilled out of you, thoughts you shouldn’t have kept to yourself all this time.

“Well what should I have done!” he roared, and a few curious lights blinked on from the building behind him. “Should I have not befriended you when you turned up to the same college? Should I have, instead, fucked you ten years ago when it would have meant nothing to me?” And you flinched at his words.

“You should have let me be, Steve,” you sighed, defeated. Because he was right, but you hated him for prodding at wounds you were still trying to heal.  “You should have kept it to yourself and let me be.” But really what you wanted to say was you’ve been lying to Robin and Nancy because you weren’t over him. You loved him; you’d always love him, but you were afraid, if you told him the truth, that he’d slowly fade from your life until he wasn’t a part of it anymore.

He nodded, face slipping into that mask of his you’d dreaded seeing. “Right. Got it.”

He pushed past you, and you wanted to thank him for the slight brush of his skin against yours, but you kept quiet, like you always had.

as always, please comment and reblog if you enjoyed <3

night team here

can we request ghost with a daughter that is the mini verison of him like soap thinks shes gonna be sweet and nice and she bullies him worse than her father does

bonus points

price already knew ghosts daughter was a complete savage but soap annoyed him that morning and price decided the consequences of his actions was being brutally roasted

(daughter is gonna be leaning teens just bc i said so. also, thank you so much for the request!! love the night team 🫶🫶)

soap wasn’t supposed to know. this wasn’t something anyone was supposed to know, but simon was decently okay with price knowing. price knew to keep secrets, hell, price had his own.

but simon accidentally let it slip.

‘i’ve gotta get home, early morning,’ he’d told the 141 when they wanted to go out for drinks after a successful mission. they gave him odd looks (one of them was a knowing one, but he’d ignore price being offered to come watch a recital).

soap didn’t let it go, no he didn’t. ‘got the missus waiting back there?’ and simon was exhausted, it was a long mission and all he wanted was to sleep in his own house.

‘kids got a recital,’ he’d muttered and had walked away. what he didn’t expect was to find a huge amount of messages from soap the next morning. most consisted of the same things.

kid??

who’d have a child with you??

what’s the mother look like?

what’s the kids name?

son or daughter?

maybe i wanted to come watch too

i’m technically their uncle

and simon had to leave, collected you from your grandmother and took you to the recital. you were beautiful, the pride and joy of his life. someone he’d never thought he’d ever had, someone he never knew he could love more than anything.

it took months for simon to wear down enough ti even allow any of them to see a picture of you, let alone know your name.

‘beauty, that one is. you sure she came from you?’ simon shoved soap off the chair for that comment. soap continued to rave about being an ‘uncle’ and as much as simon didn’t want it, he had to tell you.

you looked at him weird when he admitted he’d spoken about you to the 141. you knew, generally, what he did but you didn’t get details.

‘ok and?’ you’d asked. ‘what’re they gonna do? it’s not like they’re gonna do something behind your back, not like price has said anything,’ and he worried. maybe he coddled you a little, but you were his girl.

and you’d agreed to meeting them, but told simon you didn’t want to know when. ‘i’ll be thinking about it too much,’ you told him.

simon finally dropped a few names for you, late one night when he’d finally relaxed with some whiskey (he didn’t mention the watered down taste).

‘what kinda name is soap? he drop it or something?’

it took some time before simon had grown any sort of comfortable letting anyone but price be around you. it wasn’t common that you stayed by price when simon was out on a mission, but the occasion happened when it was possibly a fatal one.

it was early morning when you’d sent a text to simon, he hadn’t meant to go to the compound at all that day but had made a lunch. it was a picture of the lunch, still sitting in the fridge with the caption ‘you forget something?’

and he’d groaned, mentioning to price in passing that he forgot his lunch at home. soap and gaz had been there, and a little smile came from soap.

‘just have the lass bring it ‘round, i’m sure she’s dying to meet her uncles,’ price gave a little grimace. ‘what? she’s probably a sweetheart, i cant imagine a girl like her would turn out like ghost,’

you’d relented to bring it around, especially after price messaged you about soap not being able to shut up about meeting you.

he’s pressing me for information. -john

if you bring the food, i’ll give your dad an extra day of leave. -john

please, i’m about to make him run. -john

you always laughed a little when he signed off after each text. it was his own little thing, and you secretly enjoyed having a fatherly figure text you more than three words.

when you got to the compound, you found price waiting outside for you and you waggled the bag of food at him. he let you in, guiding you through the halls to where simon and the others were.

‘try not to forget it, next time,’ you told simon. he gave you a small grunt, one that sounded like his ‘thank you’.

soap walked up to you, giving you a cheeky grin and swinging his arm around your shoulder. ‘how’s it been, lass?’ he asked you and you shook his arm off.

‘you know it’s not the 80’s anymore, right?’ he blinked at you. snorting softly with an eye roll, you sat down in the nearest chair. ‘mullets back in style, you know. might fit you better,’ you commented.

soap was left with his mouth open, gesturing faintly to you then to simon. ‘she can’t be like you,’ he nearly hissed.

‘don’t act so surprised, she said damn near the same thing to me,’ price lamented, thinking back on his first time meeting you.

‘you from the 1800’s? christ, i haven’t seen anyone willingly have that beard,’ you’d told him oh so long ago.

you looked around, leaning towards him. ‘who else am i supposed to be like? i’m pretty sure he’s my father,’ you hissed back.

all soap could do was blink. a little ghost? no, he couldn’t believe it. he saw simon give you a little fist bump, almost saw a few dollars being passed between you two.

simon pulled his mask off to eat and you looked at him closely. ‘you get a haircut?’ you asked, squinting your eyes suspiciously.

‘nope,’ he responded. ‘got ‘em all cut,’ and you snorted a short laugh. soap couldn’t do much but watch the interaction, realization slowly settling in.

‘that’s why you tell those shitty jokes?’ he announced. ‘you’re actually a father telling dad jokes,’

you gave a little smile and he could see the admiration in your eyes. god, you were just like your father but the confidence came off of you so easily.

‘yknow he came to my parents job show and tell once,’ you told everyone and simon stared at you. almost daring you to finish. ‘he didn’t take the mask off and had to leave, he scared too many of the kids,’

you spoke so fondly of him.

‘but he’s a prick, so he just left,’ simon lightly kicked your leg and you made a big show of it. you might be his kid, but you had your own personality in there.

and simon would be dead before anyone took that from you.

i don't know if this is how i request so i apologise if i get anything wrong!

could you please do the childhood crush with capitano but instead of capitano, it's pantalone? it's okay if you don't wish to do this!

(p.s. this is my first time requesting, pls go easy on me)

♡ 𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞’𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 ♡

synopsis: When you were a child, you decided to befriend an orphan who always seemed to be by himself. He would not forget this act of kindness.

includes: pantalone w/ gn! reader

notes: Of course, this was quite fun to write! I hope you all enjoy it. (It gets very fluffy towards the end <3.)

Sneznhaya was one of the worst nations to be poor in, you decided from an early age. You had to have some kind of thick jacket to survive even the warmest days (which was still borderline in the negatives) otherwise you would die so quickly from frostbite. You had to have some kind of fireplace in your house and also a stable firewood source otherwise you’d freeze to death too. You had to be smart about preserving and salting your food because of the cold, and much more difficult tasks that would be easy to do in other nations. All of these factors were part of the reason why orphans did not last very long, unfortunately (unless you were pulled into the House of Hearth… would that be a blessing or curse?)

Even though you were dirt poor, you were still more fortunate than a lot of people in poverty. You had a house, albeit a small one. You had a bed, though it felt like a stone-cold rock most of the time. You had parents who cherished you, although sometimes you did not see them for the whole day since they worked hard so you could go to school instead, even though you should have been working to bring income in. Of course, you kept all of your complaints to yourself. You were far better off than most kids.

The first time you met the boy was on your way home from school. You had exited the raggedy building when you came across a boy with rather well-kept hair. Usually, the children around the slums were untidy and uncaring about their appearance. Yet his looked fine, at least better than average around here. But what drew you in was his brilliant purple eyes. You had never met anyone with that eye color. You didn’t realize you were staring at him until you noticed his eyes were on you. Your words died in your throat of embarrassment, so you quickly nodded your head at him and speedily walked away.

You hoped that you wouldn’t see the boy again, because you didn’t think you’d be able to look him in the eye again. You were the kind of person who cringed at even the slightest dumb thing you did a long time ago and knocked your head against the wall thinking about it. But, it seemed that the Tsaritsa did not answer your prayers because you saw the same boy again the next day. And the next day. And for the entire week. And soon, you realized that his eyes were always trained in the same direction - the school. You connected the dots quickly, mentally prepared yourself for conversation, and strode up to him.

The boy immediately noticed you as you pressed your back against the wall, leaving a bit of distance between the two of you. You didn’t want to invade his personal space.

“So, I’ve seen you here every day. How come?”

Silence.

“Not much of a talker, are you?”

Silence.

“You want to go to school, don’t you?”

“...!”

The boy’s breath hitched for a second and you knew you were right. He turned his gaze from you and looked back at the building, where children were being dismissed. You didn’t need to ask why. It was obvious that he had to work instead to survive. The two of you stood in silence when, all of a sudden, you came up with a genius idea.

“How about I teach you instead?”

The offer had the boy’s neck snapping back to you. “What?”

“Yeah! After school ends, you can come to my house, and I’ll teach you what I learn, and other stuff too. It’ll be like real school, minus the yelling and the crowds and the other annoying things!” The idea seemed better and better the more you spoke. 

He raised his eyebrows in surprise but a look of caution quickly overtook his face, purple eyes conveying a look of distrust.  “What do you want?”

“What do you mean?”

“What’s your motive? Surely you don’t think I’m that naive to believe you.”

You were taken aback. “I-I mean… I don’t really know what to say. I’m just a kid, I don’t really know what ulterior motive I would have. Does wanting to become friends with you count as one? You really look like you want to learn, so I just wanna help you,” you said plainly with a hint of confusion in your voice.

For the second time that day, the boy was taken aback, because he could see that you were being genuine and he couldn’t understand why. You were being kind from the bottom of your heart, and he couldn’t comprehend why you would do this for a stranger.

You tried to ignore the piercing look the boy who was only your age managed to give you. “So can I assume you’re taking the offer? I’m [Name] by the way!”

The boy uttered his real name, and everything began from there.

Every day you invited your newfound friend into your house. Your parents were never home until late, so it was easy to do so. And so began the lessons of you teaching him everything you knew and learned in school. You taught him how to curve the letters of the alphabet correctly. You helped him to learn to read your favorite children’s books. You told him what you remembered of your teacher’s boring rambling about Snezhnaya’s history and that hey, oxygen came from trees! (He knew that, the boy said. He wasn’t that dumb. You pouted.) But the thing he was best at was math. As soon as you taught him the basics, he was speeding through the questions faster than you.

You watched in amazement as he whizzed through the questions without even needing to use his fingers to add (which you still did sometimes, embarrassingly enough.) He was completely focused on it, writing his answers in handwriting that got better every passing day. And soon enough, he handed you his answers to check. It started to become less of a surprise when he got all of them right on his first try, as you compared his work with the one from your homework. 

“You got all of them right again!” you cheered as you shook his shoulders in excitement. “Haha, you’re better than me at this point. I can’t do mental math as well as you can.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you.” If there was one thing you knew about your friend, was that he was a good sweet talker. You’d seen him talk his way out of situations that you would surely die in, and also compliment you like it was nothing.

“At this point, you can become an economics! No, wait… I think it’s called an economist? Or an accountant? Something to do with numbers and counting!”

Something twinkled in his eyes. “Do you really think that?”

“Mhm! You’re the smartest person I know. You adapt to everything so quickly. It took me a long time to get these concepts down yet you did it easily.”

The boy did not say anything but his shoulders relaxed under your touch, and then he spoke. “I’m going to become rich.”

“You are?” you asked, hopping onto the chair next to him. Everyone, regardless of anything, has dreamed of becoming rich. But the way he said it with such firmness had you drawn in.

“Money is the lifeblood of this world. No one can survive without it,” the hardened and steely look in his eyes and voice made you stiffen for a second. “Even the Gods desire to let it flow between their fingers.” 

You looked at him for a few seconds before grabbing his cold hand and squeezing it. “I believe in you,” you declared resolutely. Your friend’s harsh look dissipated and a smile came onto his face. You loved it when he smiled. “Just remember me when you’re rich. Share a bit with me, hm?” you laughed.

But the boy did not laugh at what you meant to be a joke. “I will,” he said firmly. “I’ll give you as much as you want and more.”

Since then, you spent more and more time with him, even outside the regular tutoring sessions. Once you had opened yourself up to him, he had responded somewhat in kind. He liked to talk about things he read in the paper after you taught him to read. Out on the streets, he would ask you about words he saw on shop windows’ he didn’t know yet. Your favorite activity was when you’d give him something to read out loud to you, enjoying how his stumbling grew from frequent to occasional. But when it came to other topics he kept his mouth thin and shut. You never commented on it, but you could see he didn’t have a good relationship with anyone else. It seemed that he held some kind of animosity toward a good chunk of people. Especially the upper class, even some of the kids as you noticed that some of them weren’t very nice to him. Even the Gods themselves weren’t spared from this.

You didn’t know what kind of childhood he had, and you didn’t pry. It wasn’t your business, and furthermore, you wanted him to remember the happier memories he made with you instead. You showed him how to build snowmen and snow angels. You once threw a snowball at his hair and immediately regretted it as he launched a tickle attack back at you. The orphan was your best friend and you soon realized that you had a crush on him. You would lie in bed, rolling over as you thought about the kind of wedding you’d have him with. You would have kids and then the two of you would soon be grandparents and then the house would be so much more lively and fun and- you smushed your face between your pillow. Enough of that! You first had to make sure both of you survived this hellish place to even make it to adulthood.

It got to the point where you wanted to share some of your meager rations with him too. He was always hungry, and you were too but you wanted to help him out as much as you could. You would sneak a good portion of your bread or anything that wasn’t messy under the kitchen table, slip it into your sleeve quickly so your parents didn’t know. You gobbled down your sparse dinner in seconds, not wanting to leave your friend standing outside in one spot for too long. You went into your room and quickly locked the door, glancing at the window near your bed. You pulled the curtains to the side, and there he was! Opening your window always warranted a flurry of snow flying into your face but seeing his face light up was worth it.

Years passed, and the two of you were older, almost adults. You had left school since the only available schooling in the area was for younger kids only, and now worked in a miserable job like most people. But you always made sure to try and visit your long-time friend, who seemed to be busier and busier these days. You had a feeling he was up to something, whether it was good or bad, legal or illegal, but you didn’t pry. His absence had begun to cause you to seek out other company, for it was not good for one to be left alone in their thoughts in this kind of situation. 

Who was your company? The neighborhood kids, of course. They reminded you of when you were younger, even though it was just a few years ago. They always gathered around you when they had time off from their barely paid labor, and you made sure to teach them the same things you taught your crush a few years ago. But you soon learned, it was rather hard to do that when they were so exhausted from working. Tiny hands were already calloused from the back-backing jobs and they were asleep in an instant afterward.

So you did what you could. Having a couple of hours of rest made a big difference to growing bodies, you reminded the kids. You took their shifts on different days and at different times, making sure you wore as many layers as possible so you wouldn’t be caught. The employers wouldn’t take much notice anyway. They didn’t care who did it as long as the work was done. The only thing you did not anticipate was your long-time crush finding you. 

“[Name]?” The callout of your name made your heart freeze. “Don’t worry, it’s just me.” You then recognized the voice as your childhood friend. Turning around, you pulled down the hood and uttered your friend’s name, which you cherished dearly.

“I was looking for you, and I find you here, working in someone else’s place. What are you doing?” The boy’s voice was hushed, laced with a hint of something else underneath. Worry. Concern. Distress. What if you get sick? Get hurt? Get caught?

“Look… I did not mean to worry you. I just, it hurts me to see the little ones spending so much time working. I just want to help them.”

The boy had known you for many years, yet neither his mind could ever comprehend why you were so kind to others. It never benefitted you, only served as extra weight and a burden on your shoulders. “But you already have long shifts to work. Your body can’t handle this…”

“Hey, who was the one who managed to run away with you all those times? I’m pretty strong! Furthermore, as long as I keep the hoodie up, they won’t recognize the difference. Those people don’t care as long as the work gets done. They’re just little kids, you know. Just like we were. Some of them haven’t even learned proper Snezhnayan yet, but they’re out here slaving away and working to the point of exhaustion. I just… can’t. If I can help them keep even a fraction of a childhood intact, I will.”

The boy’s heart was moved by your kindness innumerable times. “But, aren’t you just a kid as well?”

“I am,” you agreed. “But I’m still an older one. Just a bit more until we’re adults, you know. I’ve already had my time. I’d rather help the others now. Besides, it builds stamina and work ethic,” you laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Your friend didn’t say anything. There was nothing he could really say, after all. This was just how life was like. But it was days like these where he remembered the promise he made to himself and you - neither of you would have to deal with this ever again, soon.

The boy moved to help you, which surprised you. “You don’t have to, you know. I’m sure you’re busy with other things.”

He shook his head. “I’ve been wanting to spend time with you for a while. I’ve missed you.” You blushed and nervously laughed at his straightforwardness. He could either pretend to be oblivious to your intentions, trying to make you say what you wanted out loud. Or just be so blunt that it caught you off guard.

“Heh, I’ve missed you too. You know, I have a good story for you…”

Since then, your friend had popped up more and more frequently, making your lovesick heart pound. Even if you had nothing left to talk about, you made something up, if only to keep him next to you for a few more minutes. You think he knew what you were doing, but he didn’t comment. You loved him for not exposing you like that. Despite the circumstances of your life not being very great, you always felt great around him. Until one day, you woke up with a splitting headache. Odd, but not unbelievable. You must have pushed yourself too hard yesterday. Your body feels so, so cold, but you have to go… have to go to work, and see your friend. You inched yourself to the edge of the bed, but you did not make it to the end.

You woke up to the hazy sight of your parents and a man. Presumably a doctor, considering how awful you feel right now and his white lab coat.

“It seems your child has… they must have stayed out in the cold too much… overworked… the medicine is quite expensive though, at least… that’s the minimum though…” the words were blurred together for you. Despite your fuzzy mind, you already got the gist of what was going on by the pain-stricken look on your parent's faces. They couldn’t afford that. You went back to sleep.

The next time you were woken up by the voice of the one who held most dear. You didn’t open your eyes, but you knew he was there, from his comforting voice as he stroked your arm. “I told you… overdo it… but that’s just how you are… too kind… make sure… better… love…” Your consciousness drifted away again.

The next few days you did not remember well, until your parents barged into the room with tears in their eyes, holding some sort of package. A sip of water and something fell down your throat, and you were soon asleep again.

You woke up the next day, feeling significantly better than before. Your parents were moved to tears, and they quickly recounted what had happened. Someone knocked on the door, and when they opened it, there was nothing but a package and a note left there. Inside was the medicine you needed, yet they did not know who placed it there. But you already knew the only person who’d do that for you.

You recognized the handwriting on the note as your friend’s. It was almost laughable. When you were first teaching him, he could barely form the letters properly, but he had practiced far more than you ever did, resulting in the pretty curves of words on a surprisingly strong piece of paper. You idly wondered how he managed to get it.

This medicine will make you better. Don’t worry about how I got it.

I have decided to leave this place for a while and pursue the dream I told you about. At first, despite my resolution, I was not sure how to go about it. But after seeing the things that happen to you, to a good person, I made up my mind to attain what I desire.

I would like to write more, but I’m afraid I do not have the time right now. But, do not worry. I will come back for you.

Please don’t push yourself too hard until then. I promise, soon you will not have to suffer any longer. Until then, thank you for believing in me.

The note ended there.

Even though your mind was still fuzzy from the fever, the contents of the letter quickly snapped you out of a stupefied daze. He left? Just like that? Of course, you weren’t mad at him for leaving. After all, you encouraged him to go for it, to at least try so that he wouldn’t meet the same fate as most people who lived in the slums did. But you didn’t even get to say goodbye. No hug or anything. No time to tell him how you felt. The reality of that made your heart sink.

You weren’t able to leave bed for a few days but as soon as you felt better again you roamed the streets, looking for the familiar tufts of black hair. You trudged through the thick snow, checking all possible spots he could be in, but to no avail. He was gone. It was as if he never existed too - the only thing you had to remember him by was this note. You thought about him every day, hoped for his success in his endeavors, and a small part of you hoped he thought about you too.

When you became of age, you were approached with an offer from the Northland Bank. You’re completely baffled at first, and a bit scared. Mostly Fatui members worked there, and why would they approach a low-class citizen like yourself too?  But the offer was too tempting, the money calling your name and empty stomach more than ever. Your position was one of the lowest, simply making sure you had a perfect customer service smile as you directed customers where to go for their issues, but it paid damn well compared to the jobs in the slums. You worked hard and humbly, unaware your job was pulled behind the scenes by a… certain rising Fatui member.

A few years went by, and your position only went up. You weren’t really sure why when there were much more qualified Fatui workers than you but you gratefully accepted it. You had gotten used to the daily routine of greeting customers and helping them with their accounts. A while ago, you remember the bank being in a slight uproar over something.

“What’s all the commotion about?” you questioned. The bank was usually a quiet place.

“Northland Bank is now under the control of someone new! A new Harbinger has control of all the banks now!”

“Oh really? I didn’t expect that.”

“No, no, no - it’s not just that. You need to look at the picture of him. He’s jaw-dropping!!” your co-worker squealed as they shoved the newspaper into your face. You chuckled and dropped your eyes to the paper, but your smile immediately disappeared, and your face contorted into one of disbelief at who you saw. You snatched the paper out of their hands and practically pressed it to your face.

It couldn’t be. But the hair, the way his lips curved, the flutter of his eyelashes when he smiled. It was way too similar. You skimmed the article for more information. Pantalone, the new ninth Harbinger, was now the wealthiest among them… in charge of Snezhnaya’s economy and money supply… ambitious and promising.

You shakily put down the paper. The one in the papers was your childhood friend. So this was where he was all these years? Working for the Fatui? He’d been in the same nation the whole time and you didn’t know. But, that was a relief at the same time. At least he wasn’t somewhere far away.

“You looked like you’ve seen a ghost,” your co-worker chuckled. “Did his beauty stun you that much?”

You nervously chuckled and nodded in agreement, trying to organize your thoughts. Your childhood friend had achieved the dream he told you about so long ago. He didn’t just become rich, but a Harbinger at that, one of the most powerful positions in Snezhnaya and the world - he became Pantalone. And furthermore… he had grown up to be such a handsome, classy man. Your heart raced just thinking about him, as all the childhood memories rushed to your head. Did he remember you? No, no, that was countless years ago. He had the most luxurious life one could ever imagine. No way he would remember the random friend he made that long ago.

But that was okay, you thought as prepared to start working again. You were okay with burying these feelings again. You would be happy seeing him from afar, happy that he was living the life he deserved.

A year or two had passed since Pantalone was officially inducted as a Harbinger. Even though you decided you would be happy observing him from afar, it didn’t stop you from cutting out the articles of every newspaper Pantalone was in. You couldn’t help it - it had been so long. When the Harbingers were gathered in Snezhnaya, you’d brave the crowds and peer around for him. Some days you did not manage to see him. Your view was mostly obstructed by the cheering citizens, but one day, you were able to see him up close. It took your breath away. He was ethereal… You had to beeline it out of there before you started to get too emotional. The only thing you had yet to be aware of was that the ninth Harbinger himself saw you. Yes, he had always been keeping a close eye on you, staying his distance only for your safety. But that was soon to change.

It was another normal day at Northland Bank. The only noteworthy thing was that someone important was set to visit soon, so everyone was expected to be on their best behavior. It wasn’t anything new though - many people wanted to see the richest bank in Teyvat.

“[Name], could you go retrieve the documents of this client for me, please? Their name is…” your co-worker called. You nodded, after all, you had to return some files to the room as well. You got up, hands full, and headed to the room when your co-worker called for you again. 

You turned around to face her and kept walking backward, ready to listen to her request when suddenly her face turned very pale. It looked like she was mouthing something to you and making an ‘X’ with her arms. Of course, you were confused by this gesture, so you turned back around to see what was wrong. But your vision was blocked by a black wall, one that had bits of blue and silver embroidering it, and before you could stop your legs from moving, you walked smack right into it.

“Watch it, dear,” a pair of hands reached out to steady your shoulders. “Make sure to watch where you’re going, hm?”

Your heart felt like it was stuck in your throat. That sleek voice was all too familiar, and the feeling of the bands of bejeweled rings through the gloves was a tell-tale sign of who it was. The visitor to the bank today was the Ninth Harbinger, Pantalone, and no one told you.

“Such a hard worker, aren’t you? So diligent,” the voice purred, his arms moving from your shoulders to down your arms, smoothing out your clothing and releasing you. Should you look up? Would that be disrespectful? You should respond though, right?

“Yes,” you said meekly. “Yes, sir,” you quickly corrected yourself. A moment of silence passed, and you think he was expecting you to raise your head, but you kept your stare on his well-polished shoes, which probably cost more than everything you own.

“Excuse me then, sir,” you stated timidly, desperate to get out of the situation. Before Pantalone could say anything, you bowed your head even more and speedily walked away, making sure to lock yourself in the files cabinet room. If you could scream right now, you would, because what the hell just happened?!

Outside, Pantalone was left with his usual smile. But inside, he was truly pleased - he was finally able to touch you after countless years. Oh, but the way you didn’t even look at his face left him slightly wounded; he wanted to see your eyes tremble with emotion and see your soft lips up close. But he did not need to worry. He would be seeing much more of you after all. Walking out of the bank, he left everyone in shock.

You prayed that you would not have to go through something like that but nope. Every day, Pantalone would come into the bank with the excuse of inspecting and observing the premises. But you knew that was a damn lie because all you could feel while you were working was his gaze on you. He would not hesitate to come up behind you and watch you work, making you nervous and almost mess up, with his silky compliments going to your head. He smelled so good and his hair bounced with practically every step, his voice had deepened to a velvety smooth one. 

It was impossible for your childhood crush to not come creeping back up. The only problem was that you could not bring yourself to muster any conversation, so it was primarily Pantalone speaking. The only thing he managed to wring out of you was “Yes, sir” or “No, sir.” The most embarrassing part of this was that everyone in the bank knew what was going on. Yet the Harbinger did not seem to care. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it, as if he was sending out an undeniable message that said “They’re mine.”

Pantalone knew he had many admirers, people who lusted after him and his wealth. Yet the only one he had eyes were was you - the only person who had stayed with him since the miserable days of his childhood. He had been separated from you for so many years, building his reputation and wealth, slowly but surely, keeping you in mind as he worked tirelessly. Even when he became a Harbinger, he had to keep his distance and sort out any possible enemies. But now, he could finally have you all to himself.

Pantalone had caught you after your shift ended. As soon as you exited the bank, he was right there waiting for you, with that smile you deeply loved yet would not admit. You looked to the sides to see if there were any possible ways to escape, but he had trapped you.

“My dear [Name], why don’t we take a walk together? The weather is not too bad today.”

And that was how you found yourself in your current situation, walking side by side with your crush. Your throat felt dry as Pantalone spoke.

“You’ve been quite cold,” he feigned hurt. “It wounds me so that my dear childhood friend would forget me.”

You don’t know what came over you, but you immediately responded to that. “I didn’t forget. I could never forget you. I remember everything,” you blurted out swiftly. “I just,” you stopped walking and stared at the snow-covered path, thinking of what to say. Pantalone stopped walking too. 

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you, I do very much in fact, it’s just that I don’t really know how to act since you’re a fancy Harbinger now and I’m just me, a normal person. And I didn’t really know if you’d still wanna talk to me since you have way better people to interact with anyway, and plus-”

“[Name],” Pantalone interrupted you. “Look at me.”

Hesitantly, you dragged your eyes from the ground to his face. His smile was gone, and his expression was unreadable, but he spread his arms to the side and uttered two words. “Come here,” he beckoned. That was all you needed as you jumped into his arms, pressing your face against his chest. 

His hand stroked your hair and you melted into his touch instantly. “Darling, I can’t fathom how or why you would come to such a conclusion, but it’s quite the opposite. You are the only one who occupies my thoughts. The one who was the only light in my childhood. The one who saved me and helped me, expecting nothing in return.” His voice was soft as he held you tighter. “You are the only one I want.”

Your heart rate had increased significantly at his declaration of love. This was too much to process, so you opted to just squeeze your arms around him tighter. He got the message and allowed you time to take that in. Finally, you lifted your head up and peeked at his gorgeous face.

“Are you mad at me?” you said regretfully.

“I can assure you I could never be upset at anything you would do. That face is too adorable to be mad at,” he chuckled. You gritted your teeth. Why did he have to be so damn suave all the time?

His finger came to hook under your chin, making you raise your head more. His thumb playfully stroked your lips, wanting nothing more than to claim them as his.

“May I?”

You did not respond and instead jumped at the opportunity to surprise him, capturing his perfectly soft lips in yours. Clearly, he was not expecting that as his eyes widened, but he promptly bounced back by responding with more passion. And Archons, it was amazing. You didn’t really know what you were doing, but he took control flawlessly. He withdrew from the kiss, enjoying your breathless expression.

“I’m taking you home, to your new home,” he corrected himself. Smiling at your wide-eyed look, he pecked your lips again. “Surely you did not think,” he kissed you again, “that you would be away from me now? You’re going to live with me, of course.”

“I d-didn’t know we were just diving straight into- mhpm!” Your lips were not being spared from Pantalone’s greedy assault.

“I have had to deal with being away from you for years, not being able to feel you or talk to you, dealing with people who meant nothing to me. Do you know how painful that was?” Pantalone spoke genuinely and cupped your cheek. “I hope you do not plan to deny me, for I intend to spend as much time as possible with you starting now.”

You reached up and intertwined your fingers with his hand on your cheek. “Well… that sounds very good to me. I’ve missed you so much,” you agreed shyly, gazing into his loving eyes.

“Good,” Pantalone placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “We have a lot of catching up to do, don’t we, my love? Ah, and we’ll have to organize a new wardrobe for you, meals, products, assigned maids…” he continued to list off new items that you would have. (He promised the best for you, after all.)

You sweatdropped, slightly lost at his rambling. Did you really need all of that? But, you’d think about that later. You tugged at his arm, interrupting his mumblings.

“Come on, let’s go home, okay? I have a story I’ve been wanting you to read for me…”

HI MOOTIEE anyways I got smth for ya

Of course it's Adam cause YEA.

what if Adam and his goth girlfriend who is an angel of course can be fluff can be smut anything you want

Thanks mootie have a wonderful dayyy

HIIII MY BELOVED!!!! Ahhhh I hope you like thissss I enjoyed working on it! Have a fantastic day for everyone reading! Also I low-key think I’m turning into a slut with all the smut I’ve been writing recently 😭

“Looking Pretty!”

Adam x Goth gf reader

Masterlist

Warnings: blow job

Taglist: @adamsfavoritesinner @sashaphantomhive @leathesimp @ladyninggs @michelleszn @sirenetgeblogger

—

Adam had first met you when he was on stage performing at a concert. You saw you next to Lute singing all the lyrics on the top of your lungs. He threw two guitar picks y’all’s way, one for each of you and moved on to the other side of the stage.

After the concert had ending Lute introduced you two. You were her sister, and he was her boss.

—

“Sir?” Lute called out to her boss. She was behind stage and wanted to introduce her best friend to her sister. “Yeah danger tits?” Adam asked looking over his shoulder for a spilt second. He was signing autographs for girl and guys, and even little kids.

“I’d like you too meet someone if you’d have the time.” Adam brain flashed to you and Lute together in the audience. Shirley his lieutenant. wanted to introduce him to you. “Sure thing. I’ll be back ladies.”

He and lute walked over to where you were, talking to the drummer. Adam felt his eye twitch. Said drummer always pissed him off — copied Adam 24/7.

“Y/N. This is Adam.” Lute said, taking your attention away from the drummer. You looked to the first man and felt a whole bundle of nerves and excitement gather in your stomach.

“Hi! I’m Y/N!” You stuck your hand out and Adam took it. “Never expected to see a big toy goth girl in heaven.” Leave Adam to be… Adam.

Lute was screaming in her head at Adam. That was her SISTER. And what if you said something slick back?! That’s her BOSS!

“Guess I’m special.”

“Sure babe, but you ain’t better than me.”

—

The thing that made Adam really start to notice you was your outfits. He loved all the necklaces you would wear, loved the make up you did most days. He also loves your fishnets.

He couldn’t count how many times he gotten hard when you would walk around in them. It gotten that porn wouldn’t even help him anymore, but the thoughts of you did.

Adam had invited you to every one of his concerts, and even if Lute didn’t show, you still did. You were his biggest fan, his biggest supporter.

—

Adam had to be on stage in thirty minutes and every thing had started to go wrong. First his guitar wasn’t in tune. Next his singer called out last minute, something about forgetting an date. So he would have to sing, and his throat had been hurting all day. Then he couldn’t find his mask. And finally while he was trying to calm himself down, there was knock at his dressing room door. He couldn’t get a fucking minute alone.

“Fuck off!” He shouted, trying to tune his guitar. But the person didn’t fuck off. You opened the door and poked your head through the door. “Need help?” Your eyes widened. You hadn’t ever seen him with out his mask.

He was handsome safe to say. Rich brown hair, golden shimmering eyes, and a stubble that suited him. He wore black ripped jeans and a white tank top, typical rockstar outfit.

Adam glared at you but the ultimately decided you could be useful. “Come here.” His voice had a certain chill, it sent shocks of excitement down your spine. You walked over to him, and stood waiting for what he needed.

Adam looked you up and down and silently cursed. You wore a short ass skirt, with a crop maroon tank top — that did a poor job in hood your tits from spilling in Adams opinion. The platforms you wore, made you a bit taller but Adam still towered over you. And you wore those fucking fish nets.

Adam sat you down on the couch and put his guitar in your hands. He got behind you and put his hands over your own. You noticed he wasn’t wearing his gloves, you had also noticed how vain-y his hands really were along with his fore arms. “Do you know how to tune a guitar?” His breath fanned over your ear and blowing you hair the faintest bit.

“No,” you went to turn your head around to him but he grabbed your chin with his hand and pushed your head to look back at the guitar. “You see these nobs? The make the strings tighter and loser.” Adam reached into his back pocket, pulling out his phone.

Once he had his tuning app pulled he placed said phone your thigh. He didn’t move his hand away from it, at least not before gripping your fishnets, wishing to tear them.

“Adjust the nobs accordingly and the app will tell you if it’s in tune or not, and if it needs to be looser or tighter. Understand?” You nodded your head, and he reluctantly pulled away from you.

He started to look around for his mask. He couldn’t preform without it. He was surprised that he was comfortable with you seeing his face. Despite that, he knew he wouldn’t be comfortable performing without it.

You started to tune his guitar, slightly confused at first, but slowly got the hang of it.

Adam had trouble finding his mask. He would look at you and think thoughts that would, we’ll send him to hell probably. When he would look away — after telling himself to stop being creepy — it wouldn’t be long till his eyes were back on you. So yeah, he couldn’t find his mask.

You looked up over to him and saw him staring directly at you. Placing the guitar on the couch you got up and walked over to him. Normally you would be wearing necklaces that would move with your steps but he took notice in your bare neck.

“It’s tuned.” He hummed and acted on his intrusive thoughts. He pulled you closer to him by your neck. “You know what would compliment this outfit? A collar.” His hand wrapped around your neck, and squeezed the tiniest bit, his veins bulging.

Your breath got caught in your throat as you tired to find your next words. “What kind?” Adam took another step, you chest now pushing against each other. “One with my name on it.”

Cocky bastard.

"20 MINUTES TILL SHOW TIME!” Someone called out from the hallways. Adam clenched his jaw in annoyance. “Ya wanna suck me off before I go on?” He said in a joking tone, but holy fuck that would take away about 85% of his problems. He was pent up. He wasn’t expecting you to do anything. You’d always brush away his sexual comments, which unsurprisingly was more often than not.

You raised a brow and started to unbutton his pants. “You have twenty minutes.” His hand on your throat tightened and you started to get on your knees.

You brought the zipper and started to pulled down with your teeth. Most girls he fucked tried to act innocent. Always looking at the package he had to offer as if it was the first dick they seen. But you — you looked up at him through your lashes, eyes begging. Like a fucking slut. You pulled his pants down a little — along with his boxers and started to pump him. Getting him hard but you did need to do it for long — seeing as he was already leaning precum.

Fuck if he had twenty minutes he was gonna make it worth it.

“I’ve gotten a hand job before babe, I prefer a blowjob.” He really couldn’t shut his mouth.

You brought your lips to his shaft and started to kiss him gentle, and so soft he shuttered. You continued to move you hand as you slowly took him in your mouth.

Your mouth was warm and you started to suck him off. You couldn’t fit him all the way in your mouth — fulling his ego more — so you made up with the inches you couldn’t fit with your hand.

Your hand twisted around him and you sucked harder, making him throw his head back in a groan. His Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed the moan wanting to escape.

“10 MINUTES!”

It was like a switch in Adam. He started to thrust into your mouth, desperately trying to release his frustration. Spit started to fall past your bottom lips — fuck, I need to be neat, you thought, insanely hot, Adam thought. You rest reached up and started to play with your nipples with your now free hands.

You could feel your gag reflex kicking, tightening your throat up. That had done it for Adam. “Fuck!” He poured himself into your mouth. Some dripped onto you lips and chin.

You looked up at licking you lips and wiping your chin with your pointer finger, before sucking that as well.

You throat had started to become sore. “THREE MINUTES! ANYONE SEEN ADAM?!” You looked to the door, but something caught your eye. Adams mask was under a desk. You crawled to it, seeing as it wasn’t far.

“If you don’t get up right now, I’m fucking you.”

You rolled your eyes and got up, handing Adam his mask.

Adam was wrong, it didn’t fix 85% of his problems. It fixed 100% of his issues. “TWO MINUTES!” That send Adam into over drive, but before he could put his mask on you grabbed his chin and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Your lipstick was ruined, but a kiss mark still showed on him face. “See you out there.” You grabbed tissues and walked out. Adam not far behind you.

—

Once the concert was over, Like normal you went to find Adam backstage. You stood behind him as he signed autographs. Your feet started to hurt from wearing play forms all day. Adam seemed to take notice.

“Take your shoes off.”

“And walk bare foot on this ground?” You raised you brow to him as if he was insane. Adam rolled his eyes and bent down on one knee in front of you.

He started to take your shoes off, you did little protest, happy to get them off. He then took off his own shoes and put your feet in them. Tying them tightly so they wouldn’t fall off.

Fans started to look in shock, people started to take photos while other glared in envy.

You kind of half expected Adam to wear your shoes — you didn’t know why — but he didn’t. He carried them for you and when you two left the building he slung an arm around you. “So this means we’re dating.” Even though it didn’t sound like a question, it was.

“If you can get Lutes blessing, sure.”

—

Fuck. Adam hadn’t tried to ever convince someone of something so much before. He spent a total of 5 months proving himself to Lute. Proving himself to you. He could see why Lute wouldn’t trust him. He was a huge playboy but in those five months he gave that up. Only wanting one.

So when Lute gave him his blessing to date you, another five months later he was asking for your hand in marriage. To which you both called him deranged.

—

Ahhhh I hope that was good? I feel like the ending was rushed so I may edit this sometime in the future

Hello~ I don't know if someone has already ask this but I'll just ask anyway. What made you so interested in Jade? I'm not saying it's a bad thing or anything of the sort. I'm just very intrigued.

Also to feed into your J-word brain rot I present to you this, but picture Jade. Lol I saved this photo as hot damn Sebastain.

Hello, hello!! ^^ I’ve made a post before that explains my interest in Jade, but if I’m being entirely honest 💦 it’s all over the place and difficult to read because of how often I go all caps and keyboard smashing. I’ll try to summarize my thoughts here in a way that’s more digestible and calm.

I love many of the little details about his face: the shape of his eyes, the curve of his mouth, how his brows are arched, etc. I also have a visceral, near animalistic urge to tug on that black bit of hair he has sprouting out...

His manner of dress also resonates with me! Jade is usually well covered and in formal attire, and I think that makes it more exciting on the instances when he dresses down (whether that be going without his gloves or choosing something more casual to wear).

His intelligence. I've always preferred characters who rely on their smarts over their strength to achieve their goals, and Jade fits the bill. One particular example is how his UM is limited in scope and usage, so he has to carefully plan and strategize about how and when he casts it. It's nice that Jade can also loosen up and use his cunning not necessarily for nefarious deeds, but just to tease others.

He plays support and he plays it well. I also have a tendency to like "helper" characters (butlers, bodyguards, knights, etc.), which is another archetype that Jade slots into. He is highly competent as a vice dorm leader, personal assistant, and right-hand man (eel?) to Azul. Plus, Jade knows when and how to play to his strengths (especially when it comes to deception and disarming others) and adapt to any situation he is placed in. Jade has even earned the approval of the notoriously hard to please Vil!

He keeps you guessing, and you'll still never even see it coming. I think it's interesting that he appears more docile than Floyd, yet Azul warns his peers that Jade is the more dangerous twin since Jade won't telegraph his schemes or bad moods (unlike Floyd). I 100% agree with Azul; not knowing what Jade has in store or when it will hit you is much scarier--but also much more thrilling in a way, haha...

Similar to the last point but much more specific; I love Love LOVE those moments when he's smiling while saying the most horrendous things (the infamous "what I'd do to anyone that betrays me" line lives rent free in my head). I also adore it when Jade is lying to your face and overacting (like when he pretends he got dust in his eye in book 4). He's so dramatic while lying his heart out, it makes me giggle.

Jade works with many of the tropes I like to go for when I want comfort. Househusband/domestic life stuff, butler looking after you, etc. I have a habit of overworking and forgetting to take care of my needs, so it's easier for me to remember if I pretend like Jade's the one doing the self-care for me.

I appreciate that he appreciates nature. I don't get to touch much grass (not that I don't go outside, it's that there isn't much grass in the area I live in)... so I get very excited whenever I get to just enjoy nature in its purest form, taking in that fresh air. It makes me feel like we're kindred spirits.

The duality of eel. Overall, I'd say that the reason I like Jade so much is because he can be many things which typically run contradictory to one another. I think that makes for a fun character that keeps me on my toes ^^

NOT YOU USING “J WORD” TOO… 💀 It’s spreading… just like a bunch of spores…

Aaaah, it’s Sebastian!! It’s been years and years since I read Black Butler (I think I stopped around the Blue Cult arc?). He’s still just as effortlessly elegant as I remember him being… I guess that’s par for the course for one hell of a butler, huh?

Here, lemme just… *crudely draws on him* THERE WE GO, THE J WORD SSR FOR AN EVENT WHERE WE VISIT THE LAND OF CRIMSON LONG :>

Thank you for your question and the rot fuel 🥰

aspects/placements i love (and hate!) in my chart pt. 1

[astro notes no. 003]

hey y’all! i felt like going through some of my personal aspects/placements and describing the “positive” and “negative” ways they’ve manifested in my life, so here we are. this ended up being longer than i thought it would, so i'll end up doing a part two since i really enjoyed making this!

disclaimers | masterlist | ask

venus conj. neptune in aquarius (1°03’) in the 1H

this is one of my favorite placements. i feel like this + my pisces sun can make me appear to others as “ethereal” at times, but if i’m keeping it a buck, it also makes me extremely evasive. i have a good amount of aquarius influence in my chart as well, so all of this combined definitely makes me feel like i have to put in effort to not come off as too impersonal, especially towards my loved ones. 

having neptune in my 1H also makes me feel like people perceive me to be someone that i’m not. like even my close friends and family, i don’t feel like anyone actually understands who i am, and i don’t think i’ve ever had a relationship (platonic, romantic, or familial) where i felt like i was seen for who i actually am, or where i was able to connect to somebody on a deeper, spiritual level. i can also over-romanticize people and situations at times, but i’ve grown out of this habit… for the most part.

i’ve always been an extremely creative/artistic person. i’ve been drawing, painting, writing, and singing since i was a kid, and i even sell my artwork now as an adult. i’m extremely imaginative, but i do have to be careful to not get too in my head and forget to participate in reality, if that makes sense. i’ve also had issues with dissociation and memory loss throughout my life. i feel like my lived experience has more to do with that, but i can see how the Neptunian influence in my chart could play a role in it as well.

venus opposite north node in the 7H (1°40’)

there are some placements that convince me that the universe was tryna be funny when it made my birth chart. this is one of them. i have so many things in my chart that can make it challenging at times to form meaningful, trustful relationships with other people, and it’s interesting to me the fact that my spiritual growth is something that’s supposed to be found… through my relationships with other people. i try not to victimize myself too much and look at things from an objective lens, but i would be lying if i said it didn’t feel like people find it convenient to have me in their lives only when i allow them to view me in a way that makes them feel the most comfortable.

like i mentioned, i can be very avoidant, it’s something i’m working on. but i know that it’s possible for me to have fulfilling connections with other people, and obviously with this placement it’s something i need to work through my aversion to, seeing as my self-development and spiritual growth is something that’s extremely important to me and deep down i do want to want to experience having meaningful, healthy relationships. 

sun sextile lilith (within 3.0°) in the 11H / chiron in the 11H

let me tell you, most of the people i’ve been friends with over the years, regardless of gender, hypersexualize the fuck out of me. especially the men i’ve been friends with, majority of them had feelings for me that i never reciprocated. i was actually friends with a girl in high school who’s moon fell in my 8H, and in hindsight she had a very unhinged, borderline obsession with me. she would speak to me, and get mad at me, as if we were in a relationship together, and did not understand any type of boundaries that you’re supposed to have with someone you’re friends with. i don’t hold it against her now as an adult, but we definitely don’t speak to each other anymore.

i’ve also encountered issues in regards to the relationships i've with women, mainly when i was younger though, the women i’m acquainted with now i have healthy, normal friendships with (thank god). but i’ve had friendships with girls where they secretly didn’t like me, they were secretly attracted to me, or both. and i don't mean this in a weird, misogynistic, "pick me i'm different!" type of way at all, this is just a pattern i picked up on with some of the women i've met throughout my life.

in regards to having chiron in my 11H, my sore spot is most definitely my friendships. on top of feeling misunderstood and objectified in the friendships i’ve had, i’ve also experienced trauma at the hands of people i thought were my friends. and i always do my best to exercise being mindful and self-aware, and i’m definitely not on some “i’ve always been the perfect friend and people hurt me regardless, boo-hoo, woe-is-me” type shit, because i’ve definitely hurt people in my lifetime. but in terms of how these placements have manifested, i’ve always encountered difficulty in connecting to others, and i’m just now getting to a point where i feel comfortable enough to even attempt to try making new friends again. 

and this is what i mean when i say: astrology is a tool that you can use for shit that is more important than your appearance and future partner! it wasn’t until my 12H profection year when i started studying traditional astrology and learned how to read charts, that i actually began to understand myself on a deeper level and gained the confidence to end friendships that no longer served me and made new ones that actually do. 

chiron in my 11H also makes me feel inclined to take on a “therapist” role in my friendships, something that can be good or bad depending on whether the boundaries are there or not. i tend to attract people who like to trauma dump on me (that’s my moon in the 8H influence too), and i have to actively put boundaries in place and make sure people around me understand that i have to be in the right mindset to hold space for them. there aren’t a lot of pisces sun stereotypes that i can relate to, but being an emotional sponge is definitely one that i can. unfortunately. 

moon and ceres in virgo in the 8H 

LMAOOO this one might be a little heavy. i apologize in advance. feel free to skip this one if you don’t want to hear about parental/maternal loss or my mommy issues <3

my relationship with my mom is without a doubt where a lot of my emotional avoidance comes from. that plus my moon being in the 8H makes me very guarded when it comes to emotional vulnerability, even with the people i’m closest to. without telling a bunch of strangers on the internet too much of my business, here are the sparknotes:

my home life growing up (and to this day lowkey) never felt stable

it never felt like i could feel my emotions without them “consuming” me, this was mainly an issue in my youth, i was around 12-years-old when i started going to therapy and taking antidepressants  

my mom battled a chronic disease her entire life and passed away when i was a teenager 

i’ve always craved to have deep, spiritual connections with people, and ever since i was a kid i’ve been extremely intuitive and had the ability to read a room and everyone in it without anyone having to speak, but i typically attract people who are either emotionally unavailable, or emotionally unstable in some way, probably because i come off as “closed off” on the surface. 

in terms of my relationship with my mom, i love her but i could never be vulnerable with her about a damn thing, like i never really felt “heard” by her. she was a taurus sun, scorpio moon, with an aries stellium, as soon as she had her mind made up about something it didn’t really matter how i felt (pluto also falls in my 10H, and i definitely viewed her as an “authority figure” more than a mother at times). y’all remember this scene from lady bird where her mom tells her she wants her to “be the best version of herself she can be” and she asks “what if this is the best version?” - it was very much so that.

and i don’t want to give the impression that my mom didn’t love me because she definitely did. i think it was just a matter of what a lot of us eventually come to understand about our parents; that they’re products of the environments and the people they were raised by. and in my mom’s case, she did her best with the cards she was dealt and showed up the best way she could. it doesn’t make my feelings any less important, but it helps to maintain the balance between recognizing her humanity, and also validating my own frustration and trauma regarding our relationship. 

venus conjunct ascendant in aquarius (2°40’)

i didn't wanna end this post on a depressing ass note so i'm adding this last aspect lmfao. honestly i struggle with some of the venusian energy in my chart because i honestly never really felt "pretty" growing up. it might be neptune in my 1H that effects my self image, because it wasn't until my 20s that i actually started to genuinely recognize my beauty. i feel like growing up i only viewed my beauty through the lens of the "male gaze" (it didn't help that i felt objectified from the boys around me), or through the lens of euro-centric/white beauty standards, and in adulthood i'm finally approaching the way that i view myself from my perspective.

i do notice that i attract people very easily, both in a friendly and romantic way. i know this aspect has to do a lot with love and romance, but honestly, i'm not too concerned about being in a relationship at this point in my life (with the way the economy is set up i think we all got bigger fish to fry rn but that's neither here nor there-), but like i mentioned i've always been an artist at heart and the art that i create plays a really big role in my identity. i've always found it easier to express myself through my paintings or my writing rather than my words.

aesthetics and comfortability are pretty big for me too, more so now in my 20s. this aspect has a lot to do with sociability and being inclined to uplift and help others, and i can relate to the latter but when it comes to other aspects in my chart i do struggle with being "outgoing" and coming across friendly, but we'll get to that in part two.

as always, if y'all have any of the aspects/placements mentioned in this post let me know how they manifest in your life and personality, and if you have any insight or questions in general feel free to reach out!

When He Forgets Himself — A Klaus Mikaelson Smut (18+)

I had a request asking if I could write a smut where the reader dominates Klaus. I hope you enjoy Xx

Klaus liked to keep his glare hard as he pondered the torturings of his enemies. He stood out on the balcony, hands folded on the railing, a multi-thousand dollar trench coat draping his figure. His eyebrows were furrowed as he wondered what would suit him. Would he rip out their tongues or have them beg for mercy? Would he bite them or make them run? Tie them upside down, perhaps? A smirk wanted to lift itself at the corner of his lips, but he wouldn’t allow it.

Cue his lover, her body leaned against the doorway to the balcony, observing him silently. She wore a white robe, her lingerie the same shade. She knew he was conscious of her presence. She knew he was ignoring it, too. All the beauty and glamour and sex and love she offered him was again… left untouched.

This had been their predicament for a short while. Klaus, oh so mighty, fighting off enemies and spending the rest of his time thinking of more creative ways to win. His lover, awaiting him to come home to her, awaiting his attention — but lately, it was all to no avail.

He spoke her name monotonously, his stare unmoving.

“Baby,” she responded softly. She walked up to behind him, snaking her arms around his waist. “You need not scheme so much.”

“But I do, sweetheart. You don’t understand what it takes to remain in my position.”

She sighed. “Alright. Could you at least come to bed? It’s late and I miss you.”

Klaus didn’t respond, his mind elsewhere. His lover sighed again, this time with a little passive aggressiveness. “You’re neglectful.” she spoke.

A small chuckle escaped him. “To what am I neglectful of?”

“Many things, love, but most of all, your lover.”

He turned around and with his hand, lifted up her chin. “I don’t have time for this, sweetheart.” he said.

When he went to remove his hand, she caught it. “And what will you do instead? Contemplate violence? You’ve had a millenium to contemplate violence. I won’t be ignored by you.” Her voice remained gentle, but it did begin to lower as she spoke.

He was silent as she removed his hand from her face, and carried it down her body, eye’s never leaving his. He blinked as he felt her soft neck, her chest, her breast. She ran his hand on her waist, over her ass. She kissed his hand, then let it drop. She turned around and walked inside, curling her fingers to beckon him. “It’s a shame you forget our love. That’s alright — I’ll just have to remind you of it. Come.”

The tone of her voice was unfamiliar to him. The fruitfulness of her voice was as it always was, but there was something so commanding about it now. He followed her. “And what would that entail?” he called from behind her.

“You’ll meet what I have to offer in the room that we share.”

There, she instructed him to sit at the edge of the bed. When he did so, she climbed atop of him. “You remember that first time you fucked me?” she asked him. “I was too scared to admit my lust for you, so you coaxed it out of me. Ran your hand up my spine,” she said, doing as she described, “and pulled on my hair. Forced me close to you. You, the predator and I, the prey. God, I thought I wouldn’t survive it.” She ground her hips into his, earning herself an angry hiss from Klaus. She, however — also pleasured by the friction — made a point of not reacting to it. Although, she could not stop the pulsating of her cunt. He felt it agonisingly through her lace. “And where are we now?”

The look in his eye never softened, only now glossed in lust. His face was tighter, however. One of his hands gripped her thigh, the other her jaw again. “Remember who you belong to,” he warned.

His lover smiled, then left his lap promptly. She climbed onto the bed. She kneeled on it just behind him and ran her hands over his shoulders and down his chest. “I’ve always remembered who I belonged to, baby.” she whispered in his ear. “It is you who fails to recall.”

Klaus laughed low again, entertaining his lover before, in his mind, he fucked the smile right off of her face and then some for even conspiraing something like this. She kissed at his neck, pulling at the back of his scalp. Klaus allowed his head to weigh back, closing his eyes. He was biding his time. She took the coat off his shoulders. Klaus stared straight ahead. “I want you to do something for me, daddy.” she cooed, allowing the coat to lay on the bed.

Klaus squinted his eyes, unmoving. There was a pause before he spoke. “Ask nicely and I might just do it for you.”

She hummed, her hands onto his body again. “I want you to touch yourself for me.”

She watched for his reaction, though from their position she couldn’t see much. His eyes were wide, his jaw tight. Never in their relationship had she demanded submission from him. Before him, underneath him and kneeling to him, she would melt graciously into submission from the start, ever needing him to take control. She loved it, as did he. But now, her hands taunting his shoulders, her lips purring commands at his ear — it was baffling to him. He also found it funny. He had told her to do the same many times, and each time she obeyed, always needing someone’s eyes on her like that, his most of all. In an instant, she was underneath him. He stroked her face. “Why would I do that when I have you, my darling, hm?” he taunted.

She had lost her breath in the switch of positions. When she caught it, she shook her head at him, pushing him off of her and then mirroring his position over him. “You won’t command me tonight, baby. Not at all.”

Klaus scoffed. “You wouldn’t have come to me if you didn’t want to be commanded,” he said. Despite his words, he still allowed her this position.

“I come to you because I love you.” she responded. “I need you because I love you. And despite your actions, you need me, too.” She climbed off of him again and situated herself near him on the bed, laying on her stomach. “Should you refuse, you simply won’t have me tonight.”

As she spoke, he had sat back up again and shifted his body to meet her eyes. “And what would you do instead?” he asked almost softly.

She ignored his question, only looking at him for a moment. “Well, go on.”

Klaus huffed. “Fine,” he spoke through gritted teeth. He ripped off his shirt, throwing it across the room. “Have it your way. But how long will it last, sweetheart, before you begging me to fuck you?” He rose from the bed, turned to face her and removed the rest of his clothing. He spat in his hands and she pulled her head back to watch him, leaning on one of her elbows.

He glared right at her as he stroked himself. At first, it was difficult for her to keep the eye contact, to remain in control. She could not help but recall the amount of times she did this for him, and also the times when it was her getting him off and not his own hand. She felt the urge to aid him, but she wouldn’t dare lose now.

The first moan that escaped him not only pleasured her, but spurred her ego. “Talk to me.” she said.

“What?”

“What are you thinking about, daddy? What makes you touch yourself like that?”

He subconsciously fastened his stroking, and to that, he groaned. “I’m thinking about fucking you so hard that you forget what language is. I’m thinking about the moment you can’t restrain yourself from pouncing onto me only moments away from now.”

His words, near threats, made her sigh. She blinked, her gaze shifting back and forth from his eyes and his working hand. The sight made her mouth open without her consent. She had to think quickly.

“Why is it me that comes to mind when you pleasure yourself, Klaus?” she asked, her hand stretching out across the bed to tease them both.

“Who else needs me like you do?”

“And now the truth.”

Klaus’ eyes softened a little. In between moans, he said, “‘Cause no one does it like you do. No one pleasures me yet weakens me like you do, no one ever has.”

Satisfied with his answer, she nodded. She continued to watch him.

He was breathing heavily now, his eyes forcing themselves shut. His moaning drew louder.

“Look at me.” she commanded, her voice still relatively gentle. His lover retracted her hand. “And talk to me.”

And he did. Though, his eyes were wider now, his eyebrows twitching. “I need you, sweetheart,” he whined. He struggled to think much, but what he could, he was confused. At his own actions, at the tone of his voice, the look in his lovers eyes as they shifted into darker and darker shades. He could see the pure need in her eyes as he had in his, but he was beginning to realise that he would not be getting what he wanted. But she would. Yet, he couldn’t stop. “Don’t make me beg for it.”

She didn’t respond. Instead, she rolled over onto her back. She recognised hints of her behaviour when she submitted in him. She was dying to pleasure him, but she would have to master the art of restraint tonight if she truly wanted the roles reversed.

As he was about to orgasm, she raised her hand. “That’s enough.” she said. She curled her fingers. “Come here.”

When his hand left his dick, his breath drew sharp. He crawled back onto the bed, positioning himself next to her. She pulled him in closer so his torso was atop of her, angling his body diagonal. She smiled up at him. “You did so well for me, daddy, you know that?”

He sighed, then kissed her. She instantly took control, taking his face in her hands and raising her chin to meet his lips. Her kiss was tender, yet still lustful. Strangely, he basked in the soft dominance of it, how all he had to do was follow her lead.

He laid his head on her breasts. “I need to be inside you,” he told her, his voice only above a whisper. His breath was shallow. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, for being mean. Can I fuck you, baby? Please?” The beauty of submission was that it was given, never stolen. The submissive will choose somebody they feel is worth their body, their words, their need, and lend it to them until the night is over. She knew this very well, as did he; however, he was learning just how good it felt, how free, how safe. He couldn’t believe it — he was begging to fuck her.

But still, he couldn’t stop. What the hell was happening to him?

She hummed, stroking his hair. “I love it when you beg me.”

Klaus struggled to respond. The ache in him, an agonising need, stirred his entire body.

She whispered in his ear, “come fuck me, daddy. Gently.”

He immediately lifted his head off of her, nodding at her demand. He crawled off of her body, taking her underwear in between his teeth as he did so. After tossing the garment, he positioned himself at her entrance. He looked at her for final approval.

“Go on.” she said, eyes a little wide and glossy.

He thrusted into her slowly at first so as to not hurt her. When she adjusted, she nodded to him. Then, he upped his pace a little at her request, chasing her satisfaction.

When the tempo was just right, she praised him. “Oh, that’s it,” she mewled. “Good boy.”

Klaus groaned, his eyes blinking shut. He quickly opened them again, his eyes on hers. While he was a little fast, he was not rough by any means. One of his hands were holding her hips, his thumb caressing the skin at the same pace as his hips. The other hand was circling her clit.

“Say that again,” Klaus begged.

She grinned, clawing at the sheets beside her. “Good boy, good boy.” she repeated for him, the last few words slipping off of her tongue of that of a moan than language.

She enjoyed that while he was still on top of her, while it was him who moved their bodies, ultimately, she was in control. She called the shots. He was desperate for her command, not the other way around.

Never did she not bask in his dominance, however. She was a submissive at heart, they both knew that. It was even more pleasurable being in charge tonight because she knew exactly every sensation he was feeling. To simply… give in to the command of your lover felt like sinking into a hot bath. It was almost as if she could feel the steam enter her sinuses now, how the bath pulls you into it’s embrace.

While they both wanted to, neither of them could last too long when they were with each other. Not unless they were intentionally edging. Although, she had tortured him enough. They both usually came around the same time, and she was close, so she knew he would be, too. His thrusting fastened just a little bit.

She pulled him closer softly by his neck. “Are you close, baby?”

The feeling of her breath in his ear almost sent him over the edge. “Uh-huh. Cum together?”

“Of course, baby.” she replied through her panting.

As soon as she felt she was about to orgasm, she called on him to do so. “Cum with me, daddy, come on. There’s a good boy.”

When they came, his orgasm felt like a release of so much, apart from just his lust. His paranoia of being overtaken, his overwhelming angst, the cruel grasp his mind had on him. His control. God, he came hard. So hard so that he made no noise, nuzzling his head into his lover's neck. He couldn’t even breathe for those moments.

When they were both calm once more, neither of them moved from their positions. She stroked his now dampened hair, whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

“You did so good, baby. So good. Are you alright?” she asked tenderly.

It took him a second to respond. “Mhm, god, thank you, love.”

She giggled. “Take a moment, then we’ll go again. How’s that sound?”

When he hummed in response again, she kissed his temple. “That’ll teach you for neglecting your lover.”

title: miss me in your bones | chapter 2

chapter 1

pairing: dbf/neighbor!joel miller/female reader

rating: explicit (18+ MDNI)

word count: 1961

summary:

When Joel Miller started his own contracting business, he didn’t expect all the administrative tasks that came with it. As a result, his budding business is in desperate need of help.

Good thing his best friend’s daughter is home for the summer from college. And sure, he’s always been attracted to you, but he can keep that under control.

It’s just one summer, right?

author’s note: slow burn? i don’t know her. if you enjoyed this chapter, please consider reblogging or commenting! and if you're so inclined, you can also send me coffee

AO3 | Joel Miller Masterlist

content warnings/tags: explicit sexual content (18+ MDNI), age gap (21f and 36m), no cordyceps outbreak, Joel is not a father, Joel's feelings of guilt about being attracted to his best friend's daughter, sexual tension, voyeurism, mutual masturbation, mild jealousy, pineapple as a pizza topping. let me know if there are any missing!

By the end of your first day in Joel’s office, you’ve managed to sort all the stray papers into more manageable categories and have booted up the ancient laptop he had gathering dust on the desk.

You’re sitting cross legged on the floor of the office when he comes home, surrounded by the fruits of your labor. He knocks on the doorframe to announce his arrival.

“How’s it goin’?” Joel asks. He’s rumpled from his day, shirt wrinkled and still damp from sweat earned in the Texas heat. 

Christ.

“It’s good! I’ve got most of these organized. Do you have any finance software you’re using?” You ask.

His brow furrows. “Uh…no. Should I?”

“You’re running a business, you gotta have some way of doing invoices and tracking expenses versus payments.”

“I’ve got a notebook for that.” He looks around the room. “Somewhere.”

The stare you give him is unimpressed. “I’ll start with Excel, but I expect a subscription to Quickbooks by the end of the week,” you tell him. He gives you a quick nod. 

“Listen, you gettin’ hungry? I was goin’ to order pizza,” he says. You shift around, sitting up on your knees. 

“Pizza sounds good.”

Joel doesn’t reply. He stands there with his hands at his sides, dark eyes fixed on where you’re kneeling in front of him on the floor. You’re aware of the image you must make, denim shorts riding up your thighs as you spread your knees the tiniest bit further, watching as Joel’s eyes track the movement and his Adam’s Apple bobs with a strained swallow.

The tension in the room is palpable, pressing on your chest and making it difficult to breathe. After what seems like forever, Joel shakes his head and holds a hand out to you, tight smile on his lips.

“Come on, let’s get that pizza going and you can tell me what else I’m doing wrong,” he says. You grip his hand, palm warm and rough against yours as he hauls you to your feet with little effort. The action brings your bodies close together, your chest brushing his as he looks down at you. “Pepperoni and pineapple?”

“You remember,” you reply, voice more breathy than it ought be around this man. 

“‘Course I do, darlin’,” he says, taking a broad step back, his hand slipping from yours. “How could I forget?”

________

You’re sitting across from Joel at his kitchen table, eating your slice of pizza as you make notes on a piece of paper of all the things that Joel needs to get his office and business in order.

“Why don’t you just come with me to the supply store? Go wild,” he says, biting into his own slice of pizza. 

“Don’t threaten me with a good time if you don’t mean it, Mr. Miller.”

“Told ya to call me Joel.”

You blink at him. “Sorry. Joel.”

Joel lets the sound of his name on your lips wash over him. He wants to hear it more. 

“We can go tomorrow mornin’. I don’t have any consults ‘til later. That work?”

“Sure.” You wipe your mouth with a napkin and stand, bringing your plate to the sink and tossing away your garbage. “I better head home. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Have a good night,” Joel says. You look at him over your shoulder as you leave the kitchen, smile bright.

“Oh, I will.”

Joel’s brow furrows as he wonders what that means. Did you have plans? Would you be going out somewhere? With someone?

And why does he care? 

________

The thing about being Joel Miller’s neighbor is that you know the man isn’t one for keeping his blinds closed. When you were seventeen, you remember peeking into his bedroom, conveniently located across from your window, and seeing a shirtless Joel getting ready in the morning, or watching him step into a pair of fitted Wranglers, his deft fingers buttoning the denim at his work-toned waist.

When you get back home, you slide the sheer white curtains covering your bedroom window apart. Joel’s room is currently dark and empty, but that gives you time to prepare. Your dad is at his weekly poker game with some guys from the garage, leaving you a house that will be empty until the early morning hours.

You toss your bag on your bed and rifle through your still-packed luggage, digging out the baby pink lingerie set you’d packed on a whim.

Hey, you never know. And boy are you glad that you brought it.

Because you had a plan. 

You were going to seduce Joel Miller.

The signs were all there. The man was attracted to you, and god knows you’ve had it bad for your dad’s best friend since you were still a teen. What’s a little harm in acting on your impulses?

Especially when they could lead to reward.

You strip out of your shorts and t-shirt, switching your more practical underwear for the lingerie -  a thong consisting of barely enough fabric to be considered clothing and a sweet matching balconette bra with an overlay of lace that makes your tits look fantastic. You check yourself out in the mirror before pulling your clothes back on.

Now you wait.

________

Joel heads to his bedroom around 9 pm, the day finally catching up to him and leaving him yawning with exhaustion. His mind wanders back to you, conjuring up the image of you on your knees, looking up at him through your lashes. He palms his cock with a groan as he enters his room.

He flicks on the lamp, bathing the room with a warm glow. Movement across the yard catches his eye and he’s surprised to see you in bed, laying on your belly with a book spread open in front of you and your feet kicking behind you. Your window is open and you’ve got something playing on speaker that he can’t recognize. 

You turn over, arching your back as you hold the book above you. Joel’s eyes trace the curve of your body, the way your shirt tightens across your breasts and lifts just enough to show a strip of your tummy over your denim shorts. He can feel his cock getting harder now, the press of it more urgent against the fly of his pants as he stands near the window, mesmerized by you.

You set the book aside, standing beside your bed with your back to the window. Your fingers curl under the hem of your shirt and lift it over your head, tossing it to the ground. He gets a brief glimpse of your baby pink bra strap before his eyes are drawn to watch as you shimmy your shorts over your hips and down your thighs.

Joel’s breathing hitches, caught in his throat as he takes in the sight of you in only a thong, your ass on full display for his hungry eyes. He shifts closer to the window, trying to keep himself out of the direct line of sight.

You stretch your arms above your head, turning as you do so, and Joel gets his first glimpse of your breasts and the way they’re barely contained by the cups of the bra you’re wearing, pink lace highlighted by smooth, luscious skin. 

Joel’s mouth goes dry as he watches you crawl back on the bed, ass swaying with your movements as you get yourself comfortable on your back. 

Your hands start out by cupping your breasts, pulling the little fabric cups down just far enough to expose your tight little nipples. You pinch the buds between your fingers, your back arching into the sensation. Joel has to press a hand to the wall to support himself.

Your mouth drops open in a moan as you play with your tits, twisting and pinching and groping yourself. Joel hardly dares to blink as your hands finally move on, trailing down your torso until your fingers dip beneath the waistband of the scrap of fabric trying to act as panties. Your back arches sharply and Joel commits the visage of your first touch to your needy little pussy to his memory.

He unbuttons his pants, shoving them down his thighs along with his boxers until they sit around his knees. He doesn’t want to look away for even a second to remove them further. This will have to do.

Your fingers circle your clit and he desperately wishes it was him feeling the slick slide of your cunt. Would you like it fast? Slow? Rough or gentle? He wants to find out every rhythm that makes you see stars.

You scramble to pull your panties off, tossing them to the floor in a rush to get your hands back to work. Your right hand stays pressed between your thighs while your left returns to pinching and pulling at your little nipples. Joel spits in his hand, fisting his cock with a harsh grip and giving it a single tug that has his knees going weak. He has to dig his teeth into his lip to fight back the groan that wants to escape.

You spread your legs obscenely wide, giving him a better view of the way your hand moves across your pussy. The fast circles you use to treat your clit, followed by the slow swipes to bring yourself back from the edge. He can practically see the way your empty cunt flutters around nothing, begging to be filled.

By him. Begging to be filled by him.

Christ, this is depraved. He shouldn’t be watching this. He shouldn’t be looking at his best friend’s daughter and thinking about how it would feel to sink his cock so deep inside he wouldn’t know where your body started and his ends.

His hand starts to move faster, twisting on the upstroke so that his palm glides over the sensitive, leaking tip of his cock. Your hips are moving frantically now, chasing your hand and the pleasure it’s giving you. You slip a finger inside and Joel can hear the moan you let out. He has to bite his lip so goddamn hard he tastes copper on his tongue so that he doesn’t echo your shouts of pleasure.

Your one finger becomes two, plunging inside of you with abandon as your chest heaves with ragged breaths. Joel can feel his orgasm building at a fever pitch and he silently begs for you to reach yours before he does.

Like the universe hears his plea, your legs snap shut around your hand and you shake with your release. He can see the quiver of your thighs and the way your mouth drops open in a moan.

“Joel!” You cry out. For a moment, he worries he’s been caught. But your eyes are closed, head pressed to the mattress as you ride out your orgasm.

Joel barely has enough time to cup his free hand over his cock, catching the streams of come in his palm as his orgasm hits him like a train, the sound of his name on your lips doing him in.

He sags against the wall as he tries to catch his breath. Finally, he uses his clean hand to pull his jeans back up his hips so that he can go to the bathroom and clean up.

When he returns to the bedroom, your curtains are notably closed. Joel swallows nervously.

Fuck. How the hell is he supposed to look you in the eye tomorrow, knowing what you look like when you come? Knowing what his name sounds like cried out from your lips?

He flops back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling with sleep creeping at the edges of his vision.

That’s tomorrow’s problem.

Joel Miller taglist:

@huffle-punk @johnwatsn @hopelessromantic727  @whereasport @pedr0swh0r3 @yellingloudly @dragon-of-winterfelll @thedeadsingwithdirtintheirmouths @mydailyhyperfixations @liati2000 @ghostofjoharvelle @cutesyscreenname @morgaussy @letsgroovetonighttt @endlessthxxghts @fake-bleach @brilliantopposite187 @mattmurdock1021 @str84pedro @justsomeoneovertherainbow @loquaciousferret @milly-louise @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @kirsteng42 @caatheeriinee07 @eternallyvenus @midnightswithdearkatytspb @evyiione @leeeesahhh @tloubarbie @afterglowsb-tch13 @loveliestofthoughts @theviewfromtheritz @brittmb115 @uncassettodiricordi @pedritosgfreal @adriennemichelle98 @mxtokko @gingersince97 @switchbladedreamz @casa-boiardi @tonysterco @rvjaa @ladymunson @sexpoisoned @trisaratops-mcgee @decemberdolly @spookyemorockbabe @reader-without-a-story @katmoonz @simping-soldat @mswarriorbabe80 @orphanbird95 @shatteredbaby @tusk89 @gingersince97 @mssbridgerton @internetobsessed1234-blog @sloanexx @manazo

what would megumi’s life have been if he was actually raised by the zenin from day one? like either gojo lost the custody battle or they were able to scoop him up before gojo ever reached them. i doubt they would want to keep tsumiki with them so she’s not there for little baby megs.

i think it would be really cool to see a zenin raised megumi interacting with his fellow classmates when he attends the school, not to mention the contrast between him and gojo. like on paper they both should have gotten the same treatment-being pampered and spoiled rotten but we also know that the zenin think that hurting little kids makes them stronger so it would be super interesting to see megumi realise that the stuff that happened to him wasn’t normal and for gojo to have a guilt trip bc he wasn’t able to help megumi when he needed someone to help him the most.

So I have a fanfic that I’ve half written (no idea if I’ll ever finish it—I’d love to, it’s just hard to find the time) about EXACTLY THAT that I talked about in this post for an ask game.

That being said, that entire thing happens from Tsumiki’s perspective, and I agree with you—I don’t think the Zenin would have ever actually taken her too. They don’t want her. She’s not Zenin. She’s not a sorcerer. They only bought Megumi. For the most part, Megumi is absent from that post, and you asked about Megumi. So this is what I think would happen on Megumi's side of that post I linked.

It comes down to two things:

1. He is never, ever happy with the Zenin.

2. He never lets go of his sister.

Megumi’s old enough to remember Tsumiki when the Zenin take him away. He's old enough to love her. And I think that Megumi loves very quietly, but he also loves very violently. He wouldn't let his sister hold his hand on the walk to school, but he would sacrifice himself for her future.

I think the Zenin took him from his sister, and I think he kicked and screamed and wasn't strong enough. I think they thought he would forget her eventually.

And then I think he bit most of the Zenin Clan.

At the end of the day, what Megumi wanted was the one thing the Zenin were not willing to give him. They were never like the Gojo clan, they were never going to pamper him, but there are a great many things in this world that they would give the Ten Shadows finally returned to them. But they would not give him a non-sorcerer, non-Zenin sister who would only be a weakness to him. They refused to let him have any contact with his sister, and that was the source of a lot of what soured.

Any Megumi that was taken in by the Zenin would have been taken in to Naobito's household directly. He would be announced as the one who finally inherited their most cherished technique, and he would be declared heir, and the Zenin would call him beloved for it.

They would keep him in a room that was large and empty and almost always dark, and he wouldn't be allowed to decide when he slept or woke, and the door would always be locked from the outside. They would give him a wardrobe of expensive clothes that he hated, and he would never get to pick which of them he wore.

Megumi would hate them. He would hate all of them.

He's just not the type to be comfortable with or enjoy the adoration of others--especially when it's not backed up by genuine love. Megumi is someone who very much values sincerity and depth to emotion--it's one of the reasons why he seems to respect Yuuji so much. Yuuji is a good person who follows through with what he says. He's not just going to talk about wanting to save people--he's there making the sacrifices as he does it.

The Zenin do not actually love him. And he knows it. He's experienced love before, and this isn't it.

They love the idea of him. The fantasy of him that lives in their heads. He has no interest in being their little god prince to contend with the Gojo's own. He knows who he is, and it's not this. He wants to go home. He wants to find his sister again. He doesn't want to do this anymore.

And I think that's a feeling Megumi never escape: he just didn't want to do this anymore.

Megumi would feel like a bug pinned beneath glass in the Zenin compound. He would constantly have people managing him--when he ate, what he ate, what he wore, when he slept, when he woke, when he trained, what he did. Having to become a jujutsu sorcerer signified an inherent loss of control, but it's nothing compared to the sheer objectification that he goes through when the Zenin have exclusive control over him.

He has no power of what clothes he wears. How his hair is styled. His schedule, his diet, the people he speaks too--he's suffocating and the Zenin are just increasing pressure on him.

I don't think Gojo ever thought that would be Megumi's life.

We’re gonna just have this imagining exist in the same world as the Tsumiki centric fic described in the linked post, and in that, the reason why Gojo never took him in was because he didn’t know Megumi had a sister. He showed up, saw the divine dogs, realized Megumi had the Ten Shadows, and decided he couldn’t do this. He was a mess. He was grieving Suguru and Haibara. Megumi looked just like the man who killed Riko, and apparently inherited the fucking Ten Shadows of all the goddamn things. The Zenin would lose their shit, and Gojo didn’t have the energy to fight and told himself he didn’t need to, because if Megumi was the Ten Shadows he’d be cared for like a prince with the Zenin. He turned around and left and spent the rest of his life with Megumi in the back of his mind, always nagging him with whether he made the right decision. It wasn’t until Maki got there and made a few worrisome references to Megumi's standard of living that he started to really worry that he had made the wrong one, and it wasn't until he found out about Tsumiki that he knew it was the wrong decision.

It's like this: The Zenin hurt Megumi in every world.

It would be bad no matter what, but it really gets bad because Megumi refuses to stop trying to get back to Tsumiki. She's his sister. They didn't have anyone or anything in this world, but they had each other, and he couldn't let these people just take her away. He’s feral about it. He refuses to fit the mold they keep trying to cram him in. He’s trying to scale the walls to escape. He’s increasingly desperate and angry and the Zenin are getting more and more frustrated the longer he fights them. He’s the heir to the clan, and he can’t stop trying to leave it to get back to some random girl who isn’t his real sister and isn’t someone they’ll ever allow him to have.

It gets bad.

They put him under increasingly strict levels of control. He’s constantly being trained, which means he's constantly being hurt. He’s not allowed to speak to anyone without the clan head’s approval. He is under absolutely constant guard after he manages to get over the wall and halfway to his old neighborhood before they catch him again. Tsumiki’s name is not allowed to be said aloud, or his old name. He forgets his name used to be Fushiguro, but he doesn’t forget Tsumiki. He doesn’t let himself.

I think it escalates until it hits a breaking point. Megumi becomes increasingly self-destructive and non-responsive to everything they try. They push him to extremes that start risking permanent damage.

I think Megumi would try to hurt himself, eventually.

He wouldn't be in his right mind. He's in the most shit situation possible. He's undergoing pretty severe abuse. He'd be at the end of his rope from the lack of control over his own life, and he'd be spiteful as hell towards the Zenin. And the only thing he has to hurt them with is himself.

As a character, Megumi has always considered his own sacrifice as an acceptable means to the end of getting back at someone. Mahoraga, intrinsically, requires him killing himself as a way of killing someone else. He'd hurt himself if it was the only way he had of hurting them.

Naobito would cover it up. He'd never, ever want the rest of the clan to find out that it happened. It was already bad enough that Megumi openly hated them--he couldn't have the Zenin seeing any vulnerability in what was meant to be their most powerful member. He'd put Megumi in total lockdown until he could make it all go away.

Then they'd make a deal.

A binding vow. Megumi could never purposefully hurt himself again. He could never again try to leverage his own safety against the clan.

And in exchange, Tsumiki would be taken care of.

The last time Megumi saw his sister, she was on a sinking ship. They were running out of food, money, options--he doesn't know if she even has food anymore. He doesn't know if she lost the apartment or if there's still running water.

They're not letting him see her. But they are letting him take care of her. He can sacrifice another piece of control over himself, and she'll never have to worry about money again. They'll pay for her housing, her food, her education, for her every desire for as long as she lives. The trust the Zenin set up for her will be a generous one, and it will be managed meticulously by a trustee who can make sure she'll be provided for until she's old and grey. And Naobito will vow to never hurt her or send someone else to hurt her. She'll be safe. She'll be taken care of.

Megumi makes the deal.

In the end, the deal's what sort of breaks him.

Because he doesn't promise to stop looking for her, but the Zenin manage to make it a part of the terms anyway. When they approach Tsumiki's mother with the offer to be her family's beneficiary, they include a requirement that Tsumiki be moved to another city entirely with no forwarding address given. She needs to be somewhere that Megumi can never find her again.

The Zenin keep the old apartment. They pay the rent every month. And the next time Megumi manages to make it off compound, they let him make it all the way there before dragging him home. They let him see the empty apartment with all its empty rooms.

Naobito wants him to know that Tsumiki's gone. He wants him to know that he'll never find her again.

He tries to run a few more times after that, but he never makes it very far. He doesn't have anywhere to go.

In the linked post, Megumi finds Tsumiki, just once. She's on a class trip. He's on one of his very few and far between allowed excursions off the compound grounds, and he sees her in the crowd and recognizes her, and he ducks away from his escort before anyone can stop him.

She remembers him. He didn't think she would do that.

She tries to save him. He didn't think she would do that either.

She still loves him. And he was always too afraid to hope she would do that.

It goes the same way it did the first time. There's a car, and the Zenin shove him in it. She's on the outside, and he's trapped within, and he wishes she didn't scream so loudly when it happens. The sound never seems to leave his dreams.

His sister still loves him. Naoya hits him in the back of the head. He wakes up, and it was like she was never there at all.

But they hit him harder, after. Like they're trying to beat the memory of her out of him. He has even less freedom, when he already had next to none at all.

But he still has a sister. He has a place to go that isn't here. He just has to figure out where that is.

He wouldn't really have anyone in the Zenin clan. Most people are just... weird about him. Naoya's violently abusive. Naobito's weird and violently abusive. Everyone wants him to be someone he's not.

Maki would be his favorite.

He doesn't care about whether she's got cursed energy--his sister didn't have any. And she's obviously strong. She doesn't treat him like a divine blessing or try to force him to act a certain way. I think they would have genuinely liked each other, but kept each other at a distance. They're both trapped in an abusive situation and keep themselves safe by keeping everyone else at arm's length.

He would have been happy to see her get out, though. He would have told her that she could have his spot as heir or head or whatever when she came back if she wanted it. She would have told him that if he ever got out... well, fuck it. They could be something then. Family. Whatever the fuck they weren't allowed to be here.

She would have told him she's sorry, and she would have meant it. The only one she she regretted more than Megumi was Maki. He would have told her not to be, that if she dared to be sorry for getting out that he would never forgive her, and he would have meant that too.

I think his relationship with his own techinque would be very different in a world where the Zenin raised him. In canon, his issue is that he doesn't view himself as someone who could be powerful or win in the long run, but in this world, all he ever hears is how powerful he is. Pride of the fucking Zenin. The most powerful of them in centuries. Meant to rival Gojo fucking Satoru himself.

I think his real issue would be controlling it.

His technique would be a source of negative associations for him. It's the reason why the Zenin took him away. Most of his interactions with it have involved getting beaten and hurt by either his family or a high-level curse they shoved him in front of. I think he'd have a lot more firepower under his belt than at the start of canon, but he'd have less of a fine tuned control over it.

He lost control over his own life because of his shadows. It think that would manifest in struggling to control his own shikigami at times. he's not as in-sync with them as he is in canon.

Eventually, he'd go to Jujutsu High. He would be the only one in the first year class at the beginning, just like in canon. And he'd finally meet Gojo Satoru, the man he's supposed to topple.

He looks at Megumi really goddamn weird.

He's... enthusiastic. About. Teaching. He guesses. And constantly asking prying questions about the Zenin, but not in the sort of way he'd expect from a rival. In the sort of way he'd expect from someone concerned about him. Which is stupid. And annoying. And weird. He keeps a distance from everyone. They've all heard about the Zenin clan heir, and he has no interest in having to fit or break whatever mold they've already cast him in. He's better off on his own.

Maki's there. She's cordial where other people can see it, and in private, she takes care of him in a way that's terrifyingly close to familial. He's not sure if he likes it. He's not Mai, and she's not Tsumiki, and they both want someone they can't have.

She isn't sorry she left. She is sorry she left him. He can hate her for it all he goddamn pleases.

Of course, if this is in the same world as the linked post, Megumi finds Tsumiki again. He finds her in Sendai.

He gets to keep her, this time.

Gojo Satoru, of all the goddamn people, intervenes and becomes his sister's benefactor. It's super fucking weird. He won't stop looking at Megumi strangely. He won't stop insisting that he didn't know he had a sister, like that matters.

That would sort of be the first time in a long time that life actually gets better for Megumi.

I think he would ask to go by Fushiguro again, once he asks Tsumiki what his name used to be. He'd ask her if she minded it, him taking the name again, and he'd ask the rest of the school to call him Fushiguro instead of Zenin.

Predictably enough, Naobito loses his shit when he finds out, but it's not nearly as big of a pain in the ass as he thinks it is? Because Gojo intervenes.

Gojo keeps intervening.

It drives Megumi nuts, because if anyone was supposed to hate him, it was this guy. If anyone was supposed to be against him, it was this guy. This is the guy he was supposed to rival. This is the guy who killed his shitheel bio dad.

Gojo's just... good to him. He keeps him safe. He keeps him safe from his own goddamn family, and that's--no one's ever done that. No one's ever protected him from the Zenin.

The Zenin try to remove him from the Tokyo campus and move him to Kyoto the second they find out Tsumiki's there, and Gojo just... says no. It causes an uproar, and he doesn't fucking budge. It's treading dangerously close to him kidnapping the Zenin clan heir, his refusal to let them remove him from the Tokyo campus, and he doesn't care about whatever problems it causes him.

Megumi's his student. He doesn't want to leave. So Gojo won't let them take him.

He personally goes to Kyoto and collects him, the one time the Zenin force him into a car and move him when Gojo's off on a mission. He tells the higher ups to get fucked. He changes Megumi's student I.D. to read Fushiguro, and he causes problems for Yaga and the assistants until they start calling him Fushiguro as well.

Megumi's different with the other students once his sister is there.

He's more connected with them. He becomes best friends with Kugisaki and Itadori. He gets closer with the second years. He's visibly happier, and it sort of casts in sharp contrast how unhappy he was before this.

And Gojo? Gojo's so goddamn sorry. He didn't know megumi had a sister.

The thing is that now that both Tsumiki and Megumi are on campus, it sort of haunts Gojo with what could have been. They're both fantastic kids--funny, smart, resourceful. And it's painful watching them try to rebuild what was taken from them. And it could have just. never happened. Because he could have saved them both. He could have been their family.

It's sort of painfully obvious the Zenin abused Megumi, and it fucking haunts him. He doesn't even have to read into Megumi's behavior--he sees it happen, right in front of him, with how they try to control him and push him around. He wants to kill them for it. He wants to hate himself for it. He could have saved Megumi and he just. He didn't.

He wishes he did.

You Think I Forgot? | Jo Hye-Won Zoa [WEEEKLY]

1164 Words

***

31st May 2023

It was Zoa's 18th birthday, she has been waiting for this day for so long. For Zoa, her birthday is a very big thing for her. She always get a big party out of it with her family and friends. This year, she thought it would be more special because she have you, her boyfriend, to celebrate this day with her.

Zoa woke up that morning very early and got dressed quickly, she normally isn't the type of person who wants to go to school. Today was different though, she wanted to go to school because her friends have planned a big surprise party for her after school.

School was boring like always, Zoa did not enjoy school but she was happy that a lot of classmates came over to say happy birthday to her. That was literally the only positives from school today. Thankfully, she managed to drag herself through the whole day and is now in the final period, Maths, Zoa's most hated subject. Despite that, she had something positive to look forward to. Maths was the only class that Zoa shared with you and as she popped herself down on her seat, you also walked into the classroom.

"Hey Y/N" Zoa waved at you as you walked into the classroom.

"Oh hey Hyewon, how are you doing today" you responded.

"What are you doing after school?" Zoa asked you trying to get more information about the party that her friends had planned.

"I've got football training after school so I can't hangout with you today, but I'll see you tomorrow at school and I can hang out with you then" you told Zoa.

Zoa didn't know if you were playing or were you being serious, but her heart did drop for a second after hearing that you have football training after school. To be fair, she knew you had football on Wednesdays but she would have thought that you would clear your schedules to hangout with her on her birthday.

"Anyways have you got anything to say to me today" Zoa asked trying to make you say something about her birthday.

"Right everyone class is about to begin" the teacher announced before you could give an answer.

"Yes, pay attention to the teacher" you whispered to Zoa.

However, Zoa can't pay any attention to class because of what you said. She was hoping that you were playing a joke. After all, who would say they are hosting a surprise party if they were hosting a surprise party anyways. Zoa tried to shake it off but she can't.

After a very long hour, the bell rang and class was finally dismissed. Zoa followed her friend Jihan to the music room hoping that you would be there to be part of the surprise.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY OUR BELOVED HYEWON" everyone shouted as Zoa entered the room.

Not going to lie, Zoa was surprised by this, but she was also surprised at the fact that it was only her close friends Jimin, Soeun, Soojin, Jaehee and Jihan there to celebrate. You were nowhere to be seen.

"What's wrong Hyewon? You don't seem too happy" Jaehee said whilst holding the cake in her hands.

"Nothing it's just he isn't here" Zoa responded.

"We asked him to come but he seemed to have more important things like football so he said he isn't free" Jihan replied.

"Let's eat some cake" Soojin said trying to distract Zoa from the fact that you weren't here.

Zoa understand why you weren't here. Football has always been a big part of your life and she knows that as well. But what was annoying her was that there wasn't even a birthday message from you, nothing, not even a text. After all, how difficult is it to put in minimal effort and text her a simple birthday message.

The truth was, you didn't forget. Whilst you really had football training to attend, you had your own plans. Tonight you were going to surprise her in her apartment. After all if there is one thing that Zoa liked more than you, it was surprises.

You really wanted to go to her party with her friends, but you can't. You were draft protected by the MLS and therefore you need to put in maximum effort in every training because you never know when the MLS scouts were going to come over to watch you train. You just need to be there just in case.

As training ended, you shot off immediately, hoping that Zoa was not mad at you the slightest. On your way to her apartment, you stopped by and brought her some flowers and her favourite green tea cake. Once the goods were secured, you went straight to her apartment.

Arriving at Zoa's apartment, you used the spare key that she gave you to slowly unlock the door and enter the apartment. The lights were off in the living room, but you saw a glimpse of light down the hallway coming from underneath the door of her room. You know she was in her apartment.

Tiptoeing towards her room, you made sure that she didn't know you were here and as you approached, you slowly opened her door and entered. Once you opened the door, there she was, lying on her bed, asleep. Probably annoyed at the fact that you forgot about her birthday. Walking up towards her you tapped on her shoulder to try to wake her up.

"GAAAAHHHHH" Zoa screamed as you scared her.

"Wait, Hyewon it's me" you tried to calm her down which seemed to work.

"Y/N? You scared me. What are you doing here?" Zoa was surprised at your arrival.

"I got you these flowers and your favourite green tea cake" you responsed.

Zoa was still a little bit mad at you for ignoring the fact that it was her birthday and forgotten about it the whole day. But it was difficult to be mad now that you showed up unannounced, it was a surprise and Zoa liked this surprise.

"What if I don't want them?" Zoa tried to push you away and pretend to stay mad.

"Well then how about if I do this" you leaned down and gave Zoa a quick kiss on her cheeks "happy birthday Hyewon baby" you said.

"I thought you forgot it was my birthday" Zoa said looking at you.

"You think I would really forget about my Hyewon baby's birthday?" you said looking deep into Zoa's big eyes.

"But today, in Maths class you didn't even say happy birthday. I thought you genuinely forgot" Zoa said.

"If I didn't play it like that, then I won't be able to surprise you like this" you responded.

"I'll give you that, this was a pretty good surprise. I like it, but I like you more" Zoa said.

"I like you too, my Hyewon baby" you said as you leaned in and started to make out with Zoa.

***

HAPPY ZOA DAY

I know it's late, but it's still her birthday here where I'm at. Anyways hope you guys enjoyed this little one shot for Zoa. Oh my god, they really grow up so fast, can't believe Zoa is now 18.

Anyways......

......HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZOA

You co-owned a coffee shop with your best friend just a few streets away from Seventeen's building, However, you weren't into mainstream media so you weren't really aware of that. Being in the city centre you knew there were idols and actresses and models galore but never really paid them any attention. You preferred the ordinary people, after all it was them who came into your cafe most often...or so you thought.

You had many regulars but your favourite was the boy with glasses who you'd nicknamed cute gamer guy. He was always polite, quiet and friendly. He'd usually stay for a few hours and he'd either read or play games on his laptop hence the nickname. You liked to read too and often discussed your latest and favourite books. When he played games you'd get stuck just watching him because he was really good. You'd stare amazed and forget you had work to be doing. You figured he must be a student of something as he often came in at odd hours and seemed like he had some time to kill. You didn't know much about him but saw him most weeks and got to know one another that way. He'd always ask about your day which you thought was nice and compliment your baking. He was cute too and your friend had long since suggested you should ask him out. You didn't want to just because you felt it might be weird. "I don't even know him! I only know he’s called Wonwoo because I put it on his coffee cup otherwise I wouldn't even know that! I don't know his age or what he does for a living! He's basically a stranger" you argued when your friend Mari brought it up again but she just rolled her eyes. "You see him pretty much every week of the year, that's more than you see your family! He is not a stranger". "True but I don't know him enough to ask him out! He could be a terrible person, or a sexist jerk or a..." you trailed off to see him standing at the counter. He was looking down at his phone and you prayed you hadn't been speaking loud enough for him to hear. You hurried forwards and smiled nervously "sorry to keep you waiting, what can I get for you?". He smiled "it's no problem, can I please get a chai tea and a brownie please Y/n?". "coming right up" you nodded and got to work. He asked you how your week had been and you asked him about his day then he took a seat with his tea and snack. "Did he hear us?" Mari asked and you shook your head "I think we got away with it". You were wrong.

As you were getting ready to close up Wonwoo came up to you "thanks for the snack, it was great as usual". You smiled "I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for telling me". He nodded "I also just wanted to say...I'm 26 years old and I'm from Changwon originally. I'm a performer for a local company and I promise I'm not shady or dangerous...". You blushed "does this mean you heard our conversation?". Wonwoo nodded "I didn't mean to but I just wanted to let you know, I've been wanting to ask you out for a while and if the only thing stopping us was you not knowing my age or what I do...well I wanted to correct that". You smiled "consider it corrected". "In that case would you like to go on a date with me?" Wonwoo asked "I'm free this weekend and you can pick whatever we do". You smiled "sounds good". So the two of you exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up Saturday night. Mari was ecstatic and kept jumping up and down on your way home. "So he's 26" she said and you nodded "only 2 years older than me". "Which is an acceptable age gap" she nodded "and what did he say he does for a living again?". "He said he's a performer at a local company". "wait what does that mean?" she asked and you paused "I have no idea...I assumed he's a local singer or dancer or something. I probably should've asked. "Well that's what the date is for" she grinned. You suggested dinner and a movie and Wonwoo agreed to pick you up at your house. Mari helped you put together the perfect outfit and then you waited for Wonwoo. You were early (as always) and were sitting in your living room when a car arrived. An extremely expensive car so neither of you expected it to be here for you. Your friend sighed "I hate when cars just pull up outside our house like that! It's such a fancy car too". You nodded looking at the expensive car and wondered what it must be like to have a car like that. When the car didn't move you paused "why isn't it going? Wonwoo is going to be here soon and it might block him". Mari frowned "let's give it a second and then tell them to move". You nodded when the car door opened and who stepped out of the car but Wonwoo. "Holy shit!" your friend cried and you stared. "That can't be his car" you said but Mari laughed "well it sure looks like it seeing as he's driving it. Y/n if he has a car like that then he must be rich! I thought you said he was a performer not some sort of prince!". "That is what he said" you replied watching him come closer to the door "maybe he just inherited the car or won it as a prize". Mari smiled "well however he got it, it's glorious and you're going to ride in it!". As she said that the doorbell dinged and your friend squealed. You opened the door to find Wonwoo dressed smart-casual in a shirt and some very nice jeans. "Hi Y/n" he smiled "I've got you something" and held out some flowers. You immediately felt touched because nobody had ever bought you flowers before. "That's so kind of you thank you...let me put them inside" you said and opened the door to find your friend standing there where she'd clearly been spying on the two of you. "Wonwoo you remember my friend and business partner Mari" you said and he nodded "it's nice to see you again". "You too" she smiled "nice car by the way". Wonwoo blushed slightly "thank you...I try and take good care of it". "I bet!" Mari nodded and you elbowed her. You placed the flowers in the hall and told Mari you were leaving. "Have fun!" she called waving and Wonwoo led you to his car. You opened the door and were shocked at how nice the inside of the car was. You wouldn't trade your beaten-up old car for anything but this car was amazing! It was so spacious and comfy. You felt like you were in some sort of massage chair and the dashboard was so big and colourful. "If you're cold I can turn on the seat warmers" Wonwoo said and your eyes widened "seat warmers?". He smiled "yeah, want me to show you?". You nodded and he pressed a button "it might take a few seconds to warm up". You nodded admiring the architecture when you felt the warmth and gasped slightly "I can feel it! That's so nice". Wonwoo smiled "the temperature control is just there" pointing to a dial "so feel free to make it warmer or cooler". You nodded "cool" and tried not to act too awestruck with this space-age car. Wonwoo must've sensed your unease because he started asking you some casual questions and as you chatted you felt less nervous. You arrived at the cinema and Wonwoo parked up. As you were getting out a guy gawked at the car and you thought Wonwoo would say something but instead he put a hat on and pointedly pulled it over his face which you thought was odd considering you were going inside. "This way" he said and he led you inside keeping his head down. You bought tickets and snacks but Wonwoo didn't take his hat off until he was in the dark cinema. You chatted until the film started and then watched the film. It was a good film and was good as any cinema date could be. Wonwoo gave you free rein of the snacks and you had a cute hand-brush moment halfway through. Wonwoo laughed at all the same parts as you and you were sat quite close together without actually touching. So the night was going pretty well as you left your screen and headed to dinner. On your way out there was a big group of girls and you saw Wonwoo pull his hat down tighter. "Hey mind if we go out this way?" he asked pointing to a side door away from the crowd and you nodded, exiting around the back of the building. Wonwoo drove you to the restaurant and opened the door for you. "Table for 2" he said giving the waiter his name and the waiter nodded "of course". You'd picked a restaurant you were familiar with and smiled at the familiar sights and smells. "Have you ever been here before?" you asked Wonwoo. He nodded "yes I like it". "Me too" you smiled as the waiter told you to follow him. "My friend and I must've been here 20 times we never get the fancy table" you said pointing to the table behind their water feature which was very private and highly coveted. Every time you came it was taken and you couldn't even book it. But tonight it was empty. "Well maybe tonight will be different" Wonwoo said and sure enough the waiter took you to the table. "Here are your menus and some complimentary waters. I'll be back soon to take your drinks order" the waiter said and you turned to Wonwoo. "How did you get this table? They wouldn't even let me book it for my friend's 21st!". Wonwoo shrugged "I guess we just got lucky". You thought he wasn't telling you something but didn't say anything. The meal continued and everything was still going well. Wonwoo was very interesting and talking to him was so chill but also fun. He had an effortless quality about him, he seemed to look effortlessly good, was effortlessly funny and effortlessly nice but it wasn't annoying or forced. It was just how he was and you felt like you'd known him for ages. When Wonwoo went to the bathroom you checked your phone and saw 20 messages from Mari. You opened your phone and decided to call her instead of texting. "What happened are you okay?" You asked. "Y/n it's Wonwoo" she said and you froze "what is he a serial killer?". "What? No, he's a kpop idol! That's why he's so rich and always turns up at the cafe at odd hours! He's a successful idol and has been for years. I knew I'd seen him before". You pause "no he can't be". "He is, Google Wonwoo Seventeen and you'll see". You did and your phone was flooded with results. "Oh my god..." you said and your friend laughed "see! Y/n you're dating an idol!". You had no idea what to say but spotted Wonwoo on his way back so quickly hung up. Wonwoo smiled sitting down "would you like another drink?". You tried not to let on you knew who he was and it was surprisingly easy. The second Wonwoo sat back down things just felt normal and it made you question if this was the right Wonwoo. Maybe they were brothers or just really looked alike...until you went to leave and Wonwoo's suspicious hiding behaviour kicked in again. There were some men in black coats outside the restaurant with cameras and Wonwoo spotted them putting his hat back on. "You ready?" he asked and you nodded. "It looks a little busy so grab me if I'm moving too quickly" he said and you nodded. The second you stepped outside Wonwoo shot off, head down trying to avoid the cameramen's attention. You thought you'd made it when one of them shouted Wonwoo and they started following you. Luckily Wonwoo was in the car park and the gate closed behind you stopping them. You shot Wonwoo a look and he shrugged "some people know me from my performing". You almost laughed as that was his explanation of him being a world-famous idol. You just nodded not wanting to force him to tell you before he was ready and got in the car. Wonwoo drove you home and pulled up outside. "So I had a really good time tonight" he said and you nodded "me too I really enjoyed myself". Wonwoo smiled "great, so would you maybe like to do this again sometime?". You nodded "I would" and Wonwoo smiled "great so I'll text you..." and then he trailed off. "What?" you asked and he smiled "nothing you just look really nice in this light". You blushed slightly but smiled "you should see my view" and Wonwoo smiled. "Do I get a goodnight kiss?" you asked and were pleasantly surprised to see the boy blushing. "Of course" he nodded and leaned across to kiss you. Wonwoo was clearly a good kisser and given he was a famous idol that made sense. He probably had lots of experience in this area but you ignored that and just focused on your moment with him. When you separated you took in a breath and Wonwoo smiled "that was a pretty excellent first kiss". You smiled "I'm glad you agree, see you later Wonwoo" and got out of the car. You managed not to look back and only when you safely inside did you squeal. Wonwoo returned home to find a few calls from his publicist saying he'd been spotted downtown but they hadn't managed to get any photos. Wonwoo was relieved and his members smiled when they saw him "so how was the date with the mysterious cafe girl?" Mingyu asked. "Ahh yes the place you have banned us from" Scoups said, "it better not have been for nothing!". Wonwoo smiled "it was good...she's so funny and interesting. Not to mention pretty". "Did you kiss her?" Dk asked bluntly and Jeonghan hit him "come on this is Wonwoo we're talking about" before everyone noticed Wonwoo's reaction. He'd frozen and was purposefully staring at his feet to hide his blush. "You kissed her?" Hoshi asked and Wonwoo nodded "she asked for a goodnight kiss so I gave her one". The guys all roared with excitement and began cheering. Once they'd settled down a little bit Jun asked an important question "how did she react when you told her you were an idol". Wonwoo paused "I'm not sure...". "Why? Could you not tell how she took it?" Joshua asked and Wonwoo shook his head "no I just didn't really tell her". "Wonwoo!" Seungkwan cried and Woozi laughed "even after the cameramen chased you down the street?". "I just said people knew me from my performing". "So you didn't tell her what you did at all?" Scoups asked and Wonwoo shook his head "she asked me about work but I managed to be vague". "Well that's not going to work all the time" The8 said "if you want to see her again you have to tell her". Wonwoo sighed "I know but it was nice to date someone who had no idea what I did! A person who I knew wasn't swayed by it". The guys all knew what that felt like so agreed. When you got back from your date you were buzzing but when you woke up the next morning you felt a little different. Last night you'd gone through all the positives but this morning you began to think of the negatives. The cameras last night were just a taste of the harassment you'd receive for dating a kpop idol. There were also stalkers, hate comments on all your Instagram photos and death threats to look forward to. Not to mention you couldn't have a normal relationship. Wonwoo would work a lot and even when he wasn't you couldn't hurt go out in public. Wonwoo had to be careful where he went and you realised last night he probably loosened the rules for you. You weren't sure if that was the life you wanted. Relationships in the public eye were very challenging and that was if Wonwoo ever wanted a relationship. The internet told you the names of many girls who had uprooted their lives only to be used and thrown away by idols. What if Wonwoo did the same? He seemed nice but he was an idol, he wasn't an innocent kid. You didn't know him and he could do that to you. When you came downstairs Mari smiled "so...how does it feel the morning after? You're like freaking Cinderella or something". You chuckled awkwardly "not that great" and explained your worries. Your friend nodded "see I understand where you're coming from but I think you're worrying for nothing. For one thing, we work together so there's no way you're losing your job even if this did get out. For two, if Wonwoo was the type to throw girls away like tissues wouldn't he have asked you out the second he saw you instead of getting to know you for months?". You paused "maybe...". "Plus I've been watching videos of them and he's definitely not like that" Mari said. You frowned "but that's his stage character he could be completely different". "Based on what we've seen in the cafe I don't think so". You weren't sure but agreed to watch one Seventeen video with Mari which turned into several. You saw what she meant. In the episodes, Wonwoo seemed just like the guy you knew. Thoughtful, smart, considerate and...well hot. But you were still more cautious and all day you hovered near your phone, scared anytime it lit up. Part of you thought it would be easier if Wonwoo just bever texted you about your next date but another part of you really wanted him to text you. Your phone buzzed around dinner time and sure enough, it was from Wonwoo. "Hey Y/n I had a really great time last night and can't wait to see you again. How does next Saturday around 7 sound?". You debated over a reply for way too long but eventually just went with your gut. "Sounds perfect! See you then".

For better or worse you wanted to keep getting to know the cute gamer guy who also happened to be a world famous idol. Only time would tell if it was the best decision of your life...or the worst.

____________

This is a three part series and you can read the other parts here: Part Two and Part Three.

Bad Ideas Part 10

Regulus Black au

Summary:  It started as nothing now it’s something. Voldemort has been defeated but that doesn’t mean the wizarding world is still a good place to be.

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Link to Part 9

Warnings: Smut

____

“With me, Y/n gets to come first. She had always come second to Harry and for once she gets to come first. That’s what makes me good for her.”

Regulus crossed his arms over his chest and glared at James as the venomous words left his mouth. He was relieved that everyone in the room looked super uncomfortable. Remus and Sirius exchanged and looked as if asking each other if they didn’t do enough to show you that you were special too…had they not shown you that you mattered just as much as Harry? Meanwhile, James and Lily looked at each other before returning to Regulus.

“What do you mean?”

James asked. Regulus' mouth dropped as he started at James as if he was the biggest idiot imaginable.

“Really? Do I really need to spell it out for you? I get it that you were dead and all most of her life but Jesus Christ do you really not get it? Oh bloody hell fine…Harry is the chosen one. Harry is the best thing ever. Harry this…Harry that…but what about Y/n? No, nothing. Nothing until I came along. Forget the fact that Y/n and Hermione are the brightest in their class, Y/n did a lot of work for The Order, or Y/n is the youngest healer at the hospital. Right, your daughter is a healer…you probably don’t know that. There is also the fact without Y/n, Harry would have probably just crawled into a little hollow log and died…but yes, let's forget about everything that Y/n has done and focus on Harry.”

Again, no one in the room said a word after Regulus’ rant. Harry awkwardly started rubbing the back of his neck.

“So, I have always cared about Y/n.”

He started but stopped when Regulus held a hand up.

“Shut up. This isn’t about you.”

Harry considered ripping Regulus a new one but decided that he was actually right. He had seen you be put on the back burner plenty of times. You always were gracious about it too and this made Harry feel even worse. Of all of the shit that the two of you had been through, you never made a fuss or complained when Harry got all of the glory. Instead, you remained in the shadows and were always your brother’s biggest supporter.

Remus took a breath before speaking. In his mind, Remus felt that he always did a good job of treating both Harry and himself equally. Remus always tried to recognize each child’s strong points and help with the parts that needed work. Remus had realized just how bright you were right away. You were, in his mind, always a gifted child. Learning and knowledge came easily to you. Remus always enjoyed how you could easily catch up with particularly difficult spells, literature, or anything else that he sent your way.

He also felt bad for Sirius because he, too, went out of his way to make sure that you felt seen and heard. The look on Sirius’ face broke Remus’ heart. Sirius had been looking down at his feet feeling like it was Walburga, not Regulus, letting him have it. The way that Regulus’ tone was deadly and icy made him feel so much smaller. Hearing Regulus say that you weren’t appreciated was particularly painful as Sirius had wanted a relationship with both of his godchildren before either of you realized who he was.

“No one is denying that Y/n isn’t exceptionally brilliant. I am very proud of the woman that she has become…”

Remus started but was silenced by Regulus.

“Don’t even, Lupin. Yeah, you try but Harry still comes first to Sirius and yourself. I’ve seen it happen so don’t try and baffle me with your bullshit.” Regulus turned his attention back to James and Lily. He wanted to chuckle at the expressions on their faces. Lily was the first to speak.

“I know that we can’t say much given the situation at hand but we love Y/n just as much as Harry. We never wanted to show any preference between the two…we definitely wouldn’t even consider it now.”

Regulus gave her a skeptical frown. While he wanted to believe Lily, Regulus would have to see proof of her words before his mind was fully changed.

“I guess we will just have to see on that one, Lily.”

Regulus replied. James took a breath. He wanted to ask Sirius and Remus if Regulus was telling the truth. Were you really the “shadow child” who was forgotten? Something told James that wasn’t particularly true…at least not all of it. James knew Remus and Sirius. There had to be some trying on their part. The expression on Sirius’ face told James that.

“You’re not the only one that cares about Y/n, Regulus.”

Regulus narrowed his eyes on James. He had a feeling that he would be disliking James a lot more than he already did. Something told him that his relationship with James, when it came to you, was going to be a rough one. If James thought for one moment that Regulus was just going to stand idly by and let you be hurt, disappointed, or made to feel less than important…James had another thing coming! Regulus would take extra care to make James’ life miserable.

“Isn’t that nice? Good luck to you, I suppose. Something tells me that you are going to need it.”

James stepped forward.

“I won’t be needing any luck, Black. I’m her father and I will be there for her. I don’t care that you are her boyfriend and I find the whole relationship creepy…you aren’t controlling her or keeping her away from us.”

Regulus chuckled.

“You do realize that I know enough dark magic to stop you. I could also just throw you out the window…”

Remus, having enough, finally stepped in.

“James, Regulus…that’s enough. Regulus, why don’t you go upstairs and check on Y/n? I think we all need a breather.”

Regulus gave James and Lily another glare before turning and leaving the room.

An uncomfortable silence fell upon the room as no one moved to speak right away. It was Sirius that spoke first. He had finally looked up from his feet. The pain and discontent were still so painfully obvious on his face.

“I always thought that we did well showing Y/n attention but maybe Regulus is right. Maybe Y/n has always felt second best and we just didn’t see it.”

James ran a hand through his hair. He immediately knew what Sirius was thinking. He was thinking about his childhood…Regulus’ childhood. Sirius had told James many times that Regulus had always been treated like second best. He was always the “second son.” He wasn’t the “heir.” Regulus was never anything valued until Sirius bailed on the Blacks.

Now here you were “the second daughter” (even if it was only by 12 minutes) possibly feeling the same way that Regulus did growing up. Something told James, however, that Sirius had learned from his childhood and tried his best to stop that from happening to you.

“I doubt it, Sirius. I know that you, of all people, would have taken extra care to make sure she was treated special. You wouldn’t have wanted her to be treated like Regulus.”

James replied, hoping to bring his best friend some comfort. Sirius sighed before going to sit down while Harry stepped up.

“Sorry to say it but I do agree with Regulus. With the exception of Remus and Sirius, Y/n has been treated like second best a lot. I hate siding with him on anything but he has been good for her. Y/n is happy with Regulus and I don’t think asking her to leave him would do anyone any good. Y/n doesn’t do a damn thing that she doesn’t want to.”

Harry could say that last sentence with 100% confidence. You were a lot of things and stubborn was one of them.

James sighed before moving to sit down beside Sirius with a groan.

“This sucks!”

(meanwhile)

Regulus stepped into his bedroom feeling somewhat better after unloading on everyone. Did he think that he was wrong with anything that he said? No, absolutely not. Regulus hated seeing the disappointment on your face whenever one of your accomplishments was downplayed while Harry was boosted up higher as “the chosen one.”

Regulus hated to say it but your childhood had so many parallels to his. You were subjected to cold guardians who honestly didn’t care, you were ignored for a sibling who could do no wrong, and you were lonely. Regulus sighed at the memory of you telling him how isolated you felt at times.

“Even when I am around my friends, sometimes I feel as though I’m in a room full of strangers who really don’t know anything about me.”

That had been the sentence that broke Regulus’ heart. That was something Regulus would have said at any point in his childhood.

Shaking his head from the negative emotions, Regulus turned his attention to where you sat on the sofa near the fireplace. He took a breath and started in your direction. As much as Regulus hated emotions and dealing with them, he knew that right now he had to. He had to pick up the pieces that were shattered all over the place.

“Are you okay?”

He asked softly before sitting down beside you. You turned in his direction and smiled slightly.

“I’m okay…a little shocked but I’m okay. I never expected my parents to turn up. Not that I am not happy or thrilled…I was just shocked to see them.”

Regulus nodded as you wrapped your hand around his and laid your head on his shoulder.

“I heard what you said to them.”

Regulus winced. He never wanted you to hear that.

“You heard that?”

You giggled before beginning to toy with the rings on his left hand.

“The whole house heard you, love. I know that you hate being compared to Sirius under any circumstance but when the two of you get mad…your voices carry.”

Regulus winced. Damn, you knew him well. There was no point in arguing on that one.

“I wasn’t aiming for you to hear any of that.”

“You weren’t wrong on any of it. I will say that Remus and Sirius have tried. Sure they have their shortcomings but they have tried to treat Harry and me the same. Thank you, by the way.”

Regulus raised an eyebrow before turning to look at you with a slightly confused expression.

“For?”

You moved to wiggle your way onto Regulus’ lap. Leaning forward, you pressed your lips to his kissing him softly before pulling away.

“For always putting me first…for making me feel like the most important thing in the world.”

Regulus wrapped his arms around your waist and carried you to the bed. Lying you down gently, Regulus took his place over you. Cupping your cheek, Regulus’ grey eyes locked on yours. Staring into Regulus’ eyes always made you feel as though he could see right into your soul.

“Because you are the most important thing in the world to me. None of this other stuff…these other people…they mean nothing compared to you. I would walk away from all of it to keep you happy.”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread to your face. While Regulus wasn’t overly a “mushy” person when it came to romance, when he put effort into it he was the perfect lover.

“You’re the most important thing in my world too. Reggie, I don’t want you to worry about anything with my parents. No matter what they could say will ever change how I feel about you.”

Regulus was beyond relieved to hear those words leave your mouth. He hadn’t really considered telling you (at least not at the moment) but parts of him were worried about James and Lily’s return. Would they try to poison you against him? Would they try to weasel their way in and say “It doesn’t matter if he still looks 18 or that he hasn’t aged due to being dead…he’s too old for you.” The better question was would you believe them?

That had been Regulus’ number 1 fear since seeing James and Lily alive. Now he heard what he needed to.

“I love you, Y/n.”

You were stunned to hear those words leave Regulus’ perfect mouth. In all of the time that the two of you had been a couple saying those three words hadn’t happened. Something told you that it would be harder for Regulus to say I love you than anything else. After growing up the way he did, talking about love had to be a difficult subject.

Now hearing “I love you” flow so perfectly from his lips, you knew that you would do whatever it took to keep those words coming.

“I love you too, Regulus.”

Regulus was beyond thrilled when you reciprocated his feelings. Call it trauma from his childhood, but Regulus was afraid that you wouldn’t say it back…that you would never love him as much as he loved you. Now that fear could be put to rest.

Leaning in for another kiss, Regulus smiled against your mouth.

“How about we make some noise to make everyone uncomfortable?”

_____

@amelie-black @justfinishthis @jessyballet @knreidy1 @georgeweasleydumbhoe @criminalyetminimal @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @siriuslyceleste @golddustwomann @fific7 @littleshadow17 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @livshifts @jsjcue @stelleduarte @millies0bsimp @coffeeaddictednymph @readtomeregulus @saramaple @missgorldafirst @i-love-scott-mccall @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @buttercup-beeee @f4iryluvy @panpride @daddyslittlevillain @gugggu6gvai @jag9000 @quinis @mentally-unstable-hoe @yousmellllikecaca @haroldpotterson @goldensunshineshit @aurorasnape12 @ad-astra-again @dumybitch @marichromatic @ravenhood2792 @play-morezeppelin @spideyxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @rubyroscoe1 @lostarc24 @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @moldy-old-boot @hankypranky @summer-novak @emiwrites3reads @shaylybaby2032 @li0nh34rt @tas898 @deanwherescas @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @wontlookaway @shitfaceddaniel-blog @mycuddlycorner @bennyberry @bxcndd

Can you pleaseee do a soap fic where a slightly bitchy short girl transfers to the task force as a sergeant or like a higher up to soap and he instantly starts flirting with him to which he instantly fires back by insulting him and adding something flirty at the end like a wink.

(a/n: i don’t usually read for soap, but i’m more than happy to write it! could be ooc, but i don’t think it’s too bad)

‘this is your stand-in lieutenant, at least until ghost is cleared to return’ price had told them. when he saw you, soap couldn’t take his eyes off of you. beautiful, anyone on base could see it, and they definitely saw it.

the first time soap interacted with you, it hadn’t been too pleasant of a conversation (for him). ‘where ye keepin’ the rest of you?’ he’d teased, flashing you a smile. you stared him down, rolling your eyes before answering shortly.

‘up your ass,’ and you walked away. soap wasn’t sure if you were just prickly because of a new team, or if that’s just how you were.

even the other people and recruits on base could see it, you were more talkative than ghost but just as mean at times. you stared through people when they made dumb comments or snapped back at them shortly.

‘you don’t kiss your mother with that mouth, do you?’ he’d asked once. ‘you could kiss me with it, though,’

‘i’d rather kiss the pavement,’

through all of it, he’d never seen you pull rank, though, and he thought that was commendable. you were going to fight through the military without pulling rank on anyone.

‘i’m not listening to you,’ a recruit snapped at you once. you turned to look at him, eyeing him down.

‘i’ve seen children with better manners, so go throw a hissy fit with someone who cares. i don’t.’

and sometimes people would think sparring with you meant a better advantage. soap had learned first hand that you might be short, but you could still kick his ass.

‘jesus, where’d you learn to fight like that?’ he’d asked.

‘from your mother,’

the recruits also learned that the hard way, most of them forgetting you were a lieutenant. the little things, he’d discovered, was what the recruits didn’t catch. like the way you moved when you walked, ready for action. or how your body wasn’t just built that way for the aesthetic, that it was for use.

or the way you’d eye the sky when dawn or dusk began, watching the colors shift every few minutes.

sometimes soap would catch you in the gym, glancing at you while you ran or lifted some of the weights. he’d always give you little comments, and he would enjoy hearing the response.

‘need something else to sweat about?’

‘absolutely not, not with you,’

often, people weren’t sure where you would go on base, disappearing for hours at a time. soap would try to look for you, and the one time he did you’d been as snarky as ever.

‘been looking all over the compound for you,’ he was genuinely worried for a moment there. ‘thought you might’ve made a run for it,’ and he could almost feel the eye roll you gave him.

you turned your head to get a view of him, brows raised. ‘and i thought i could get some quiet up here,’ you answered. you looked him up and down shortly, swallowing and turning your head back to where it had been. ‘you missed me enough to come lookin?’

without being able to see your face, he couldn’t entirely read your tone. he sat slightly behind you, glancing out at the forest just ahead.

‘pretty view,’ soap mentioned and you turned to look at him.

‘i’m looking at a better view,’ and you sent him a wink.

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks so much for the tag @zsparz !!!💖

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

166!

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

2.013.111. I write when I‘m stressed, can you tell?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly the MCU. Frostiron my beloved 💕 I recently posted a Huskerdust fic, though, and a couple years ago I posted some Good Omens stuff! I have another Good Omens wip brewing, but I haven‘t worked on it in a while.

4. Top five fics by kudos

First one up would be Your Call, a multi-chaptered ABO Frostiron thing that‘s sadly unfinished because I‘m not happy with where it was going somehow. Then Corners of Reality, my baby, Yes or No, Dereliktion and last but not least Vita Nova!

5. Do you respond to comments?

God I try. I’m so bad at it though. On long fics I always answer comments on the last chapter when I post the new one, but I keep forgetting to reply to comments on older chapters or oneshots😭 They all mean the world to me though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ohh I wrote a few angsty oneshots but it‘s been a while. Maybe Here, that‘s the most recent one. Of the older ones I remember all my light most clearly. Tony is dead or dying in both of these lol, poor Loki.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I like to think the happiest endings in stories are ones you had to fight for a little bit, so maybe Dereliktion. That was a long ride filled with angst and messed up relationships lol. I think Haywire (my first and so far only Sentinel/Guide fic, I love that trope a lot akfj) also has a pretty fluffy ending, and I have some oneshots that are pretty much all fluff!!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Occasionally? Just the other day I got another anon ask on here complaining about my recent stories. Makes me extra thankful for everyone who takes the time to tell me they enjoy my stuff!!💖

9. Do you write smut?

I do! Pretty much all the time lol. I love writing Dom/sub relationships!

10. Craziest crossover?

I don‘t think I‘ve ever written one before?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yesss. I‘m not sure if they just didn’t know any better though, they deleted the copied parts as soon as I told them.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes!! I‘m always so happy when that happens!!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Also yes. One year I did a whole Frostiron Advent calendar with @rabentochter (do you remember this????? How did we have the time??????? Insane) and we wrote a few more collabs beyond that.

14. All time favorite ship?

Frostiron!!!!!!!!!!!! I love my sassy messed up geniuses lol

15. What’s a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Uhhh I‘ve got a few. I‘d like to finish/rewrite Your Call. Once I also had the cracky fever dream of Loki doing random standup comedy shows in New York because he‘d KILL that. Can you imagine the sarcasm. The gallow‘s humor. Anyway I started that and then realized I Cannot Write Standup Routines at all. So there‘s that.

16. What are your writing strengths?

What I like to write the most is character and relationship development, so hopefully I‘m decent at that? Also dialogue, I hope, but that kinda comes and goes depending on the conversation.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I kinda suck thinking of longish plot that goes beyond “will they kiss?? Will they FUCK???” so I’ve been trying to practice that. Also scenes with lots of action😭

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I like it. I’ve been wanting to write a fic where Tony can properly show off his language skills but I don’t know enough languages to pull that off lol

19. First fandom you wrote in?

The VERY first was Dracula, back when I was 13 or so. I had a big thing for van Helsing back then. My first fandom on ao3 was Once Upon a Time!!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ooohhh. That would be Corners of Reality, because I worked on it for years before I even started posting it and I love how it turned out. It’s a slow burn time travel enemies to friends to almost lovers to enemies to friends to lovers to enemies to allies to lovers fic. I had SO much fun writing it I still think about it all the time😭😭

I’m just gonna tag some writers I know are on here: @endlessstairway @xottan @izhunny @arabesqueangel @bouncydragon no pressure though!! And if you see this and you’re a writer please consider yourself tagged!!💖

this is something i wrote a couple weeks ago based on the second art of this post i've made, but i didn't feel like posting it on ao3. hope you enjoy!! the wonderful @sapphic--kiwi inspired me to write this, make sure to check out her blog as well <3 she's a very talented artist and writer

also watch out for body issues and internalized fatphobia

Matt couldn’t stand to see his reflection anymore.

He should have seen it coming, though; with all the work he had been doing for the last years, and being able to eat his fill every day, it was obvious he would gain weight. Yet, now that he stared at himself in the mirror, all he could see was the extra pounds that didn’t have to be there. He knew this was silly, but an immature part of him hoped he could have looked like these constructionist witches in the shows he watched, attractive and shaped like a V.

Grimacing, he pinched a bulge on his stomach and let out a groan. He hated looking like this, especially when he was so skinny just a couple years ago. Maybe he could skip breakfast, just for today. He wasn’t that hungry anyway.

Shaking his head to try and think about something else, Matt reached out to the cabinet above the sink until he saw Augustus’ reflection in the mirror, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed. He froze as they locked eyes, and he prayed he hadn’t seen too much of him wallowing in his misery.

“Hey,” he mumbled, finally opening the cabinet to grab his hairbrush. “Sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Nah.” Matt heard footsteps behind him, and a few seconds later, felt a pair of arms around his waist, as well Augustus’ warmth against his back, and his chin on his shoulder. “You’re up earlier than usual.”

“Eh, I just woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep. Figured I could get prepared for work, at least.”

Augustus’ hands wandered around his stomach and hips- areas of his body that he hated more than anything- and he repressed the urge to push them away. Instead, he started brushing his hair, slowly, untying all the knots one by one. He had two hours left before leaving, might as well take his time.

“Matty, are you okay?” he asked, slumber still staining his voice.

“M’yeah. Sort of.” When he met Augustus’ eyes again through the mirror, he sighed. “No, not really.”

“I know. I saw you.”

Yeah, he figured as much. His fiance had that talent for always being at the wrong place, at the wrong time. He put his hairbrush down next to the sink, still staring at their reflections.

“Of course you saw me. There’s nothing else to see about me but… this,” he added, disgust dripping in his tone.

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.”

“Like what? Like I became fucking ugly? Someone here has to, because you sure as hell aren’t doing it.”

Matt was getting worked up over pretty much nothing and arguing with a brick wall; he knew that, yet couldn’t help it. Just thinking about the way his body had changed over the last years made him feel miserable and fall back into his old self-deprecating ways, aggressive towards someone who didn’t ask for it.

“You’re not ugly,” Augustus argued, leaving a peck on his jaw. “You’ve never been.”

“Augustus, you don’t need to rub me up the right way. I know I’ve changed, I mean- you’ve seen me at seventeen, look at me now! I was in much better shape back then!”

“Were you?”

“Do you really need me to make an illusion of my old self to compare?” He asked, arching an eyebrow.

Augustus shook his head, his hands still rubbing the parts of his body he hated the most. Matt just wanted this conversation to end, to go on about his day and shove that brief moment of vulnerability into a corner of his mind so he could forget about it. As much as he hated his current appearance, he never intended for his lover to listen to him vent about his body issues first thing in the morning.

“Matt, you had nothing to eat as a teen, of course you were skinnier. Hell, I’ve seen you digging through trash at school just to have lunch.”

“Yeah, but-”

“You’ve grown up. You’re doing a lot more physical work, and like it or not, you can’t keep your teen body all your life.” One of Augustus’ hands moved up to his torso. “If you really want to lose weight someday, I’ll support you, but I want you to know I also love how you look right now, because you’re just as healthy and handsome. Frankly, I’m happy to see you like this.”

Matt’s breath got stuck in his throat, and his eyes widened at these words. He knew Augustus tended to be clingier than usual whenever he lacked some sleep, but he still needed to get used to all the praise that came with it.

“I don’t really see it,” he admitted with a shrug.

“That’s okay. I don’t expect you to get over this right away.” The younger witch left another kiss, this time at the nape of his neck, and a shiver ran down his spine. “But trust me, if you could see yourself the way I see you, you’d marry yourself in a heartbeat.”

Matt could feel- and see- all the blood rushing to his face, and suddenly, the warm hands wandering on his body didn’t bother him as much- they felt loving, tender, worshiping every part of the body he still struggled to accept as it was. He leaned into Augustus, still standing behind him, and the arms around him wrapped themselves tighter.

“Are you feeling any better?” He asked.

“I… Yeah, actually. Thanks, babe.”

“No problem.” Augustus left one last peck on the shell of his ear before stepping back, and Matt immediately missed his warmth. “Since we’re both awake, I’m gonna make some coffee. Do you want some?”

“You know it.” Matt turned around to face him, offering him a tired smile. “Let me make you breakfast, yeah?”

“Don't worry, I’m not touching any pans in this kitchen,” he yawned as he left the bathroom.

Matt watched his fiance walk away, then turned back to his reflection. Half of his hair had been brushed, the bags under his eyes were a little more prominent than usual, contrasting with his crimson face, and his shirt was a little crinkled from where Augustus had been touching him. He pinched a bulge on his stomach again, poking at the fat here and there with a faint smile.

Maybe he could indulge in breakfast today.